#another boring portmanteau?

[kalinara]

(All-New X-Men #6)

I've kind of blogged something about this before but I never get tired of seeing posts about Logan/Scott/Jean as a throuple (I will literally die of spite before I use a portmanteau) that talk about them as two godlike, immortal beings and "just some guy".

Because on some level, of course, it's absolutely true. Jean is the living embodiment of a Universal Cosmic Force. She can sneeze and wipe out entire star systems.

And Logan is basically immortal. There are a good number of timelines that go forward hundreds, if not thousands of years (see: Powers of X in the Krakoa era) that still show Logan at the prime of his life, always fighting and surviving.

Scott, is, by that standard, just some guy. He's got lasers coming out of his eyes, which is kind of cool admittedly. You could do some interesting analysis on the fact that they seem to be infinite - the only time we see them give out is when HE gives out. Or doesn't get enough sunlight or whatever. But for practical purposes, they've got one real use, the guy's just a very decorative portable cannon.

But what makes Scott special, and on level with the other two, isn't what he is, but what he does.

This is a dude who's led the X-Men since he was a teenager. And as a teenager once talked an entire fleet of Sentinels into attacking the goddamn sun.

This is a dude who co-led a guerilla war against Apocalypse in the future for 10-12 years (admittedly with his goddess wife), then came back as though nothing happened.

He's also the reason for his own last name, because in ANOTHER time traveling bout with the goddess wife, he managed to inspire his own orphaned ancestor to take the name "Summers" in his and Jean's honor.

This is a dude who got possessed by Apocalypse, and repressed him to the point of amnesia, got a sliver of the Void stuck in his head, and repressed that too. Even Phoenix possession took a while to shake that guy.

This is a dude who became the "Boy King of Utopia", uniting the entirety of the mutant race under one banner. Magneto KNELT to him and named him Caesar.

There's also that time he stared down Dracula. Was it a bluff? Dracula thinks so. But he still backed the fuck down. And for a brief period of time, even Namor followed this guy's lead. NAMOR.

This is a dude who, after becoming possessed and ostracized, led a "mutant revolution", becoming a household name among bitter college students everywhere.

He's the kangaroo trial symbol of the entire mutant race, sentenced to death, and his only response is a call to arms published through his lawyer, She-Hulk.

This is a man who's slept with Jean Grey, the Phoenix (back when they were considered separate entities), the Goblin Queen, Emma Frost, and Frenzy, and every single one came back wanting to fuck him again.

Speaking of Frenzy? That dude's sub game redeemed a fucking acolyte!

"God took less time than that to make the world!". Okay, take a fucking breath, Joanna. (X-Men Legacy #248)

His kids are practically gods in their own right, and he was only involved in the conception of one of them. The others just kind of showed up one day with a DNA test and got invited in for dinner.

The closest thing he has to a hobby is plotting how to kill dinosaurs:

(Uncanny X-Men #495 - and he's fought a LOT of dinosaurs.

Sinister's been obsessed with this man's DNA for years, and yeah, if you're just looking at it in terms of powers, it doesn't make a lot of sense. There are much more powerful mutants out there after all. But when you start thinking about the rest of this, yeah, I kind of want to put him in a petrie dish too.

Heck, he's even argued with the narrator! In another timeline, he could have become an incredibly boring variation of Deadpool!

(Uncanny X-Men #96).

I'm just saying, yes, by one point of view the Moon Throuple is two godlike immortal beings and dude who is "just some guy".

But on the other hand, if you had a chance to fuck the unholy combination of Mr. Rogers, Alexander the Great, and the Death Star wouldn't you?

[romanreadsbooks]

Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros - Review

TL;DR

4.1 Stars

Pros: Characters (mostly Ridoc), Xaden's Character Arc, acknowledgement of the toxicity in relationships

Cons: Violet's reaction to Andarna, who lives and dies (feat. My probably unpopular opinion)

Continue the Series? Yes

Spoilers in review? YES MAJOR SPOILERS

Opinions going in/why I picked it up:

I picked up the series pretty late into it's popularity, reading Fourth Wing in July of 2024 followed shortly by Iron Flame in August of the same year. I was in the mood for an easy to read, fun fantasy and it fit the bill perfectly.

The characters are fun, the world is interesting enough to make up for when romance gets boring and vice versa. As a lover of both romance and fantasy, I actually struggle with the romantasy genre as a whole. Most of the time I just find that instead of bringing the best parts of both fantasy and romance into one engaging story, books in the romantasy genre just do both halves of the portmanteau poorly.

I had always assumed I just hadn't read the right romantasy and The Empyrean series gives me hope that it's true.

Is Fourth Wing a literary masterpiece? Is it a immaculate example of complex world building? Or a love story that can rival the best of the best? No, of course not. But it's *fun* and *engaging* and makes me actually give a shit about the characters, which is not a common occurrence for me. Overall Fourth Wing and Iron Flame were a good time and earned 4.5 and 4.75 stars respectively (and yes I did like IF more than FW).

All that to say I was excited to read Onyx Storm and I went into the book with my head completely empty of theories and ready to have another good time. I did not do a re read ahead of starting the book and only watched a single two minute tiktok that gave me the spark notes of what previously happened in the series.

Likes:

As I referenced above, I really like all of the characters in this series, my previous favorite being either Sawyer or Imogen but my lord did this book make me love Ridoc. I of course liked his jokes and one-liners, but I also love the moments when he was serious, both with his concern with Xaden and Violets increasingly toxic relationship and his confrontation with the rest of the Iron Squad not seeing him as capable/powerful because he is humorous/fun loving. That said, I have been pronouncing his name wrong this whole time. I thought it was like the name Murdoc/Murdock (like from the band Gorillaz and the game Paragon), so 'Rye-doc' and it is not -- it's "Rid-ick".

To jump to another character, Xaden's arc over this section of the book was great. I enjoyed his struggle with the inevitability of his turning both feeling completely defeatist about it and still holding out hope, if only for Violets sake. And I assume by the end of the five book series, he will be saved/turned back, but I like that he still gave in this moment.

As he and Violet were traveling with Quest Squad (so happy for Ridoc that the name stuck lol) I started growing a little uncomfortable at how codependent and toxic their relationship was becoming. It felt like as Xaden was turning more and more venin, he was losing care for everything other than Violet. Some might find that romantic, but I personally find it to be more than a bit much. Which brings to mind two things: 1) I love that the woman who gave Violet the books completely called her out on how unhealthy the relationship was. 2) I glad that Ridoc stepped in and forced Violet to make a boundary and set up a support system for when Xaden eventually fully turns.

Dislikes:

Most of my "dislikes" are simple me being frustrated that we won't have answers to so many questions until we get the next book in the series, so they aren't really negatives. Those will be in the 'other notes' section. I do have a couple of problems though:

First, I don't like how quickly Violet got over the severed bond. Like we were told she laid in bed for four days, but that's about it? She was up and back to normal way too fast in my opinion. Like it seemed like she grieved Liam far longer than she did Andarna. I know she knew Liam for longer and that Andarna didn't die, she just left, but Andarna was bonded to Violets very *soul*.

The lore of the world makes it out to be that losing a dragon is worse than losing a spouse, even without the whole 'if your dragon dies, you die' part. I understand being a soldier and having work to do, but I just would have liked to see her grieve more for Andarna.

And speaking of grief, this may be a hot take, but Mira should have died. Or at the very least,

we should have had a more major death in the last battle. Like the most major death was Quinn and, while her death actually made me nearly cry, she wasn't *that* major of a character.

I need something irreversibly devastating to happen to Violet. Not like Liam, who she is kind of paying reparations to by taking care of Sloane. Not like Brennan, who came back to life. Not like Andarna who would eventually come back, even if she had actually stayed away for a few years. Not like Xaden who Violet will never give up on trying to turn back human. Not like her mother who she already had a complicated relationship with.

I need someone Violet loves to be gone with nothing to be done about it other than grieve. Some one irreplaceably important to Violet, namely either Mira or Rhiannon or (if Yarros wants to really hurt me) Ridoc. I want Yarros to have me nearly quitting the series because I am so upset over a death of a character. This thing with Mira being brought back from the brink has be worried that I won't ever get that major, heartbreaking death.

Other Notes:

I'm gonna be honest, when I first read Xaden's chapter at the end I was Very Confused™. Obviously now that I've seen other people's reactions, I'm aware that we don't know who the referenced 'brother' is, but at the time I thought I just wasn't understanding the words and I had missed the part where they said who the brother was. Since Panchek was there and he was the one giving information on Violets whereabouts to the Venin I assume he was the new brother? I don't know, with this series I like to complete avoid theorizing and just enjoy the ride, but I think I had leaned into the 'no thoughts, head empty' a bit too much.

I used to try and predict every book I read because I liked feeling smart, but it made me not like reading. It was almost like I had looked up a the twist of a movie and then went to see the film anyway. Obviously the twist can be impactful even if you know it ahead of time, but it makes it a lot harder to enjoy it in my personal experience.

In a similar vein, I also don't really enjoy watching/partaking in fandom theory-crafting or trying to get information out of authors for future seasons. I want to experience the story in its final form, not from Yarros hinting at future events/lore etc. I have seen a few theories as to who this mysterious brother is and a few about Andarna and her role in the last chapters plan, but honestly until the book is out -- I don't want to speculate. Others are 100% free to speculate and theorize and ask Yarros questions, but I'm gonna stay out of it.

Rating Breakdown

Characters: 10

Atmosphere: 8

Writing: 7

Plot: 7

Intrigue: 9

Logic: 9

Enjoyment: 9

Dialogue: 8

Total: 8.3/10 or 4.1 Stars

[osmiumpenguin]

I was nerdsniped this evening by a desire to trace the etymology of Vaalbara — the hypothetical world's first continent, which formed about 3.6 billion years ago.

Well, to begin with, the name “Vaalbara” turns out to be a portmanteau of the two surviving cratons — Kaapvaal in South Africa and Pilbara in Australia — whose age & other geological similarities justify the hypothesis that Vaalbara ever existed in the first place.

So. "Kaapvaal," first. This is another portmanteau! As far as I can tell, the Kaapvaal Craton was given that name by a geologist named D.A. Pretorius in 1964. At the time, South Africa had four provinces (along with a variety of apartheid "homelands" which didn't always get named on maps, offered government services, or extended human rights) … and the craton spanned two of these provinces: Kaap de Goede Hoop and Transvaal. Pretorius smashed them together.

All right then. Two more names to research.

Well, "Kaap de Goede Hoop" just means "Cape of Good Hope" in Dutch. It's a specific cape on the southern coast of South Africa, which was named Cabo da Boa Esperança by King John II of Portugal because he felt a lot of good hope about making Portugal rich if he could control a sea route to India. Every other European empire agreed, and translated the name into their own languages. Eventually the Dutch named a colony after the cape; the colony became a founding province of the Union of South Africa; and the province survived into the Republic of South Africa for long enough that Pretorius used its name.

"Transvaal," meanwhile, comes from mashing Trans — that Latin prefix we all know and love — against the Vaalrivier, or Vaal River. I'm sure I don't need to remind any of you that "trans" means "on the other side of," as contrasted with "cis," meaning "on the same side of," and the Roman Empire used both prefixes all the time when describing rivers and mountain ranges. Well, back when this province was named, it was the Dutch colony on the other side of the Vaal River.

So where did the "Vaalrivier" get its name? It translates from the Dutch as "drab river," and it turns out that's correct: the name is a Dutch translation of the Khoekhoe ǀHai!garib, precisely meaning "drab" (ǀHai) "river" (!garib). Apparently the colour of the water is very boring and silty.

So that's the "Vaal" half of Vaalbara. Start with the Khoekhoe word for "drab," append the Khoekhoe word for "river," then translate to Dutch, drop the "river" again but prepend the Latin prefix for "on the other side," then drop the prefix again but prepend the Dutch translation of the Portuguese for "cape of good hope," except without the "of good hope," and finally drop the "cape" in preparation for mashing up with another word entirely. You end up with the Dutch word for "drab."

ǀHai = vaal = drab

!garib = rivier = river

ǀHai + !garib => ǀHai!garib => Vaalrivier = drab river

Trans = on the other side of

Trans + Vaalrivier – rivier => Transvaal = on the other side of drab

Cabo = Kaap = cape

da Boa Esperança = de Goede Hoop = of good hope

Cabo + de Boa Esperança => Cabo da Boa Esperança => Kaap de Goede Hoop = cape of good hope

Kaap de Goede Hoop – de Goede Hoop + Transvaal – Trans => Kaapvaal => cape drab

Kaapvaal – Kaap => Vaal = drab

Pilbara time! This is a much shorter journey: "Pilbara" is an ancient word for its region, used since time immemorial across many Aboriginal languages. And that's about it.

I would love to know whether this meaning breaks down into morphemes in any local language, because I'd love to know what is being borrowed into "Vaalbara" by the "bara" half of the word … but I'm not sure that's how it works.

Wikipedia claims that "Pilbara" comes from the word for "dry" in several Ngayarda languages, and even claims to know what this word is — but I've been unable to confirm its assertion from any of the cited sources, or from any independent googling. What I have been able to confirm is that these languages exhibit significant variation in who's allowed to say what when they're speaking to whom, and it seems to me that the set of words I should be using is probably {"Pilbara"} and that's about it.

Which means that "bara" is just an unfinished idea — a holographically fuzzy version of "Pilbara" — which might or might not carry a fuzzy sense of dryness, but if so, only in the way a half-heard "keys" might bring a fuzzy sense that sometimes mountains can be rocky. I don't think this is an etymology anymore. I think we're adrift in the semiotics. Or the see-myself-out-ics. Or just the sea. A good time to look for land.

Fortunately there is land, because it's been about a billion years since that planetary collision mishap with Theia, and the Earth is just forming its first continent. An incomplete fuzzy sense of a mountain range in northwestern Australia, with a Dutch prefix meaning "drab." Welcome to Vaalbara.

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Episode 4

Meh, this one was pretty weak. Boring and hard to follow what was going on. It wasn't filler at least, they showed us how Jian met Terriermon and hinted at Guilmon's champion design.

Notes:

They didn't address Gargomon almost attacking Ruki really. Jian just makes him do a headstand to "cool off." I thought that would be a more significant moment, but it's revealed that he's gone crazy before. Ruki just kinda disappears in this one.

Terriermon's voice doesn't change when he becomes Gargomon which seems to break from Adventure tradition of the digimon getting deeper voices. He also seemed to stay in his champion digivolution a little longer than I expected, but there was never really a canon rule for how that works anyways

So Jian's dad brings him a digimon game...from America?? Whaaa? That's so random. I wonder what the motive was to put that in the script. Is it cuz digimon is a portmanteau of English words?

Takato's design of Guilmon's champion form looks like a Metal Greymon knock off lol. "Take dinosaur, add armor...evolution?"

Why do they call it a "blue" card in English?? "Aoi" not good enough for them? Are the cards from America too? (JK, they have Japanese on them)

Really didn't like the Gorimon battle, it felt like a slog to get through. They fight in this vague pastel pink area for some reason and then they flashback to another Gorimon vs. Terriermon/Gargomon fight in the digital world mid-battle. I got really confused and thought they were the same battle at first. Since the IRL battle was in a pastel, pink void I started questioning if they somehow went to the digital world when I blinked lol. So confusing...

So the enemy digimon are obviously anomalies in the real world. I guess there's probably some big bad sending them to fight the tamers' digimon.

New lore: digimon can apparently absorb each other's data when one is defeated. Jian sees this as a bad thing? I don't really know why. Is it disrespectful? Did he think it would prevent Gorimon from being reborn? According to Adventure rules, Gorimon should be dead-dead, but who knows if that's true in Tamers...

I thought it was pretty funny that the Digimon game Jian got was a computer game since none of the games I've played so far were made for the PC. Maybe he just used his elite hacker skills or something.

I haven't mentioned this yet, but the OP is a bop "BIGGER, BIGGER, BIGGEST DREAMER!"

[shmreduplication]

list of stuff i did tuesday 6PM - thursday 11:59PM, aka stuff i was not liveblogging because i was not on tumblr

last 5 episodes of MAWS S2. I had a thought that i could just take notes instead of liveblogging and i wrote down that i figured out Brainiac is a portmanteau of brain and maniac, and did not write down anything else. The timeloop is really good, short+sweet+to the point, and very unique

first 7 episodes of Vox Machina the cartoon, S3. Usually fight scenes are the most boring in live-action stuff. Here the fight scenes might be my favorite because it's beautifully animated and gives me a break from all of the plot happening at once. I think the episodes are 23 minutes/have a 30 minute structure but the writing and story really really needs 46 minutes/1 hr structure that dramas generally have. OK i just looked it up and Invincible, another adult cartoon on amazon, has 45-55 minute episodes. None of the writing or anything needs to change too much to lengthen Vox Machina, just add in a million establishing shots or something, give me time to breath between the plot points

The Truman Show. I don't think I've ever seen it all the way thru in one sitting. It's on Hoopla. Really holds up, don't have too much to say

I played Cookie Clicker and watched a handful of speedrun videos. what the fuck is that game. Anyway, the vids kept giving me more cookie clicker video recommendations, that's part of why I thought it would be safe to watch Falsettos. I was avoiding my youtube homepage becuase I didn't want to see news get recommended but youtube in general seemed safe

all of The Thief. It's very good and I did pick up more stuff that I would have missed if I hadn't read RotT beforehand. I finished it thursday and I'm on QoA now

Falsettos. It's very good. I didn't have the sidebar visible so I shouldn't have seen recommended vids and the ones that pop up at the end of the video should have been about rwrb, cookie clicker, or more stuff about falsettos but it was fucking seth meyers. i youtubed too close to the sun fr

[drawnaghht]

more thoughts on ship names (leosagi, sliderbunny, yuileo etc) - more is not bad

So I'd like to suggest a thought - multiple ship tags and names are not actually bad - it's more like a way of detecting what flavor the ship and resulting fanworks will be. let me explain more below. if this sounds a bit dated, that's because I wrote this back in january-march but noticed I hadn't archived it properly and that it needed a bit more writing to finish some thoughts so I'm posting this now, lest I forget it lol. maybe i have also already posted it before but... i cannot find this old version, so i guess not ^^;;

If you like the Yuichi x Leo ship, are annoyed at Leosagi being used as an umbrella term or are just curious abt another fan's thoughts on ship names, here-a we go. Some thoughts on the leosagi and leochi/leoichi ship names in general ^^ 

Some things are a bit more outdated: namely, transfem!12yuinardo has now been steadfastly used as a ship tag for transfem Yuichi x 12Leo, so kudos to that person! Thank you for making this unique tag more common!

resources used:

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Pairing_Name https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiosyncraticShipNaming

Anyway, more under cut.

so, being in the rottmnt fandom for a bit longer this time (or being longer in a tmnt phase this time) and browsing the leosagi and leochi tags since august last year... has made me realize again that I really enjoy/prefer genfic most times? i like writing romance, but I enjoy writing action a lot more + exploring character writing in general, so that’s probably what my own crossover works will try to feature more too now.

being in tmnt fandom longer this time around, I thought that it was nice ppl still remembered leosagi, but I didn't expect a "new" version of it. Now, seeing thru the history of it (the RabNerd video on Leosagi felt like a nice refresher on TMNT fandom history in general and it’s nice to listen to) and going thru the tumblr tag (that and ao3 being sorta the only reliable archives on fanwork, with the exception of authors deleting their own work and tumblrtags not working as expected at times/finding hidden stuff), I think it's good we have multiple tags. Now about the tag I made up in september, "yuinardo" (I believe I already made two tagging-related posts thinking abt this tag/name way back in autumn 2022)

this YuiNardo ship name was mostly made as a portmanteau to make tagging and finding easier - for the ship Yuichi x Rise!Leo bc I wanted to differentiate it from Leochi/Leoichi but also the old Leosagi ship, because to me that was a bit different. at first I thought people would use the numbering system (03 leosagi etc per tmnt series airing year), but I started to notice that there was a lot more fanon with the ship this time than before. So when Netflix suggested the show to me one august evening after seeing the Rise movie, I started watching the series proper out of curiosity. as I’ve written before in a few places publicly (i think), the series was a bit slow and boring for me at first. But as I kept watching, I suddenly saw where the writing was going and what interesting things about its characters it was telling us. I got invested in the series for it’s strong family themes and how it handled its characters and story arcs, but also the music was something holding it all together for me emotionally. So I became a genuine fan and started reading more of the original Usagi Yojimbo comic too

one commonality I saw in many fanworks is that Yuichi is often changed a lot to fit a fan's own idea of who he should be as a character in relation to Leo or the fan's own setting/AU. This is fairly normal in fandom in general, esp for smth like TMNT. After all, why not play around in the sandbox given by canon? I also noticed fanworks often ignore the canon or worldbuilding set in his own show, and even the other prominent SRTUC characters get ignored/rewritten more than not. Or people make their own new versions with the same name. Which is fine, fanon!Yuichi and other fanversions are interesting. I usually like seeing redesigns in other fandoms and here they are interesting too, but I actually like the character as he is! He's funny to see fail but also fun/funny to watch/listen in general, especially interacting with other characters, whether main cast or one-off characters. He's a blorbo for me now who has taken up permanent root in my fandom/artist brain. I felt like he'd be fun to write in a shipfic or genfic with Rise!Leo bc their personalities are both so similar and so different. They feel like a strangely matching set, despite the shows never having a crossover (and despite Yuichi technically being a whole new original character for the show from the crew to avoid messing up the og Usagi cast too much). I want to write some genfic and Chizu and Kitsune centric fic one day too if I got the time.

Now after becoming a fan though, it’s honestly a bit sad to see people eschew his personality and writing completely - it feels fine that other fans are making AU and fandesign versions based on him, but this just means that when I open the Yuichi Usagi tags or search - I only find these fan interpretations but no versions where another fan is also a fan of the series. Which isn’t to say, that there aren’t other fans posting fanart, but that it’s just a lot less common that people tagging him as “TMNT usagi” or “Rise Usagi” etc. Some fans have said this is disrespectful to Sakai and the Samurai Rabbit crew - some even go on to hate the character (???) which like - it’s a cartoon. why are you angry at it. And these are often the older fans who are around my age (30+) or older, who are fed up with the younger parts of fandom - which I kinda get. I’ve even seen people make stuff up about the series, but I’m not really interested in pursuing that further because you know what. People have grievances about fandom stuff all the time. It’s pointless and a little mindless sometimes. There are so many bigger problems going on in the world. Fandom is something we are all supposed to enjoy. So to argue with another fan - I don’t have the energy to do that anymore. I might correct factual errors here and there, because that feels like it can be a courtesy sometimes. But I’m not interested in laying down blame or building some sort of longer discussion around things that should be fun, if they’re not fun anymore. Honestly, it would be nice if for once, the older and younger parts of TMNT fandoms could respect each other and get along. Like I’m not feeling hopeless about that but it’s just annoying to come back every 5-8 years and see people fighting and arguing about similar things. But that’s another topic entirely. 

I don't honestly quite get the dislike of the character either, but I guess when I was younger, I would have been annoyed by a character like this too. (Foster’s Home comes to mind...where I hated Bloo because of his personality sdfsdfs but I was a very picky child with cartoons in generally)  Personally, to me it seems ppl ignore the show and its writing bc of various aspects: besides simple dislike, it's easy to look at a newer cartoon show in a surface-level way; many still have this stance on cartoons that a "dumb kids show" can't be interesting or have substance; the show falls into many concessions to fit what netflix ordered of the crew. + audience tastes have changed over time - and no, not even talking abt just spiderverse, tho thankfully that has changed what more "general" audiences expect of both an 3D, animated film and a superhero/action flick. (cinemas here even listed it as a 2D animated film a while ago lol. it's a complex bag of factors but audiences + specifically distributors/studios are becoming slowly more receptive to 2D animation again. slightly.)  

What may have been fun to see 10+ years ago for a 3D tv cartoon then, would not fly for viewers now. Even if we ignore internet-posting fans who do like it (who seem to be primarily teens and young adults up to age 24), and how popular the show was at it's premiere (3rd in the UK among kids?), there might be those in the target audience itself as well who do not like it for various reasons. Additionally, viewers are fickle about cartoons in general.  So there are probably many more reasons people have to dislike the character and show that are related to other things. Again, this is just how fandom sometimes works. I’ve been in a lot of other fandoms before where I’m the only one who likes canon or likes writing canon-adjacent, exploring theories in canon etc and this to me started to feel like a similar situation. So I understand when people say the SRTUC fandom is kind of non-existant, if so much of the “fan content” relies on a ship. But saying as someone whose seen sort of “worse” at least there are other people at all and the tags mostly have fanart/fic and not other kinds of stuff, like spam or worse.

Whatever us fans' view might be however, he is still a valid character in the Usagi-verse, AU or not. I've read and listened to interviews with both Stan Sakai and the show crew, and seen artist portfolios with work from the show. The overall experience on the creators' side seems to have been positive. That, and I primarily view the show as a sort of transmedia storytelling venue... almost. It never takes away from the og comic and it adds an interesting alternative future to it, similar to Space Usagi, but as a fun cartoon. It becomes a sort of "gateway tent" for Usagi media and kids who watch this might be inclined to open up the comics, rifle through their parents old books and discover the world of Usagi Yojimbo proper. Like the comic, it also becomes a vehicle for learning for those willing to look things up later after the show, i.e. the yokai lore, customs in modern japan etc. So to me, the show is a net positive and Yuichi Usagi an interesting take on a Usagi descendant. The show is also interesting for me for it's casting (all asian-american cast. hello???) and staff choices as it seemed that everyone was on board with anything Stan Sakai wanted +they tried to put Miyamoto Usagi into the series as much as they could despite Netflix giving them a full limit (or almost a no?) at first - but the series writers and artists included him in an interesting way. So to me the series is good and as a fan, I can see it have interesting crossovers (a lot of the crew also seemed to be big TMNT fans and big UY fans at the same time)

Yuichi is headstrong, openly friendly and impulsive, but also the only one who notices things "outside of the box" more often than the rest of his team. He relies almost entirely on his trained sword skills and complete chance to get out of almost any situations. Leo is sorta painted as a "team clown" and "team faceman", (s1) always trying to make things more lighthearted in stressful situations, which starts to contrast his more strategic nature as we go on in the series. He wonders why he's not trusted (s2) but the thing is, most times he does not tell them his plans, even if they work, so he's seen as impulsive. Together in any shipping or genfic scenarios, I feel like they would feed off each other's lighthearted natures and impulsive instincts, but also work well together bc of how many things they notice, but also, rabbit brain empty, and Leo would be more cautious. That was what I initially kind of imagined for them when I first watched through Samurai Rabbit.

I had a big "mega-crossover" fic idea back in august which would also feature the 03 ship Leosagi, where I could both have a tmnt crossover, write fun action-adventure with the TMNT + Usagi kids and write some sort of neat continuation to what 03 Leo and Usagi might have been going through in a 13-year timeskip. But for that, I thought the tagging would be easier with og tags vs just trying to number leosagi again. Since Rise started in 2018, we often tag it as TMNT 2018, but Usagi Chronicles aired in 2022, (even if production started in 2020) so any attempt to tag it as "2020s leosagi" has just left me more confused. So a unique tag was needed for my own tagging use. I’ve helped make some smoosh names before and this just seemed like a fun thing to do in a fandom I was sort of new to (the ship and SRTUC fandom)

Oh also, I read thru the fanlore article linked above on pairing name conventions and I had totally forgotten some of the ways to make ship names bc I've become so accustomed to portmanteaus and "_shipping" rather than x (used both in general ship names as well as slash pairings) + (preslash or platonic) or even / (slashfic) just bc those sort of conventional ways to tag are harder to find on tumblr bc of its tagging system (special characters make tagging unorganizable or harder to use)

+ I've been more active in modern fandom spaces for only 13+ years, while stuff like ff.net was maybe confusing to use as a young teen. So again, some pairing naming conventions have sorta escaped me over time lol. So it would be interesting to see what else people start to use for this newer ship of Yuichi x Rise!Leo 

Different kinds of names for one pairing are fairly common in any kind of fandom. Pokemon and YGO fandoms have put these on vote for example (thinking of doing this out of curiosity) but that would have to mean a more unified fandom I suppose? Having both a smoosh name (leosagi) and _shipping name (katanashipping) have stuck with the old ship and imo that should be respected because the ship conventions were there way before this newer ship or these newer series came about. I’ve seen many posts now where ppl complain about the tagging, especially the character tagging and the leosagi tag itself, because technically again, totally new ship. So to be a bit upset at that imo is totally understandable. imagine your favourite old ship you’ve been tagging the same is suddenly overtaken by a new, only vaguely related one? I also like the online shipping-related analogy: if you’re looking for a specific game in the store, why would a pair of shoes be tagged? or a different game? you’re only at the store for that one game, but now other stuff is being suggested to you because of other users’ tagging.

Considering those slash-ship naming conventions, I suppose I made the ship name to be more Yuichi-centric a bit - starts with his name, tho again, this was just one way to "flavor" the ship for me - but also specifically for the Yuichi we have on the show, because I enjoy the show and understand why Usagi is written the way he is on it. Mainly that he is given "annoying teen" traits to contrast the changes he goes through in the short time of the 2 seasons + he seems be written with intentional ADHD-coding. + I wanted something more lighthearted and funnier-sounding, so Nardo was added bc that is Leo's nickname on the Rise show that his family uses teasingly, mainly by Donnie. I thought that would make it unique. (And, this is more subtle, but I also thought it was more funny that Nardo sorta sounded like "Naruto" and that Usagi Chronicles has a few Naruto influences in its art and design, so, slightly matching in coincidence.) 

But also Yuinardo just sounds fun and easy to pronounce + I cannot find any other tags that it overlaps with. Main use for tags after all - easy to find and unique - which I think is why the og Leosagi tag prevailed among the other names that popped up back then when the Leosagi 2003 ship first became popular online. I have no idea however if there was a ship for this before this, since I never went looking really (and there weren't much leosagi fic on ff.net then to get any impression of previous fandom activity)

If you want to continue to use Leochi or Leoichi as a tag, that's still fine bc its a big tag and more popular for this ship. But if you also like the Samurai Rabbit show, feel free to use the Yuinardo tag as well, depending on the the use ^^

Going through the fanlore article, I also realized that hey, actually having multiple tags/names is normal in fandoms! It's to make searching/naming for different flavours of pairings easier. I forgor. Let me explain.

the Leosagi as well as the Leochi/Leoichi tags sorta blew up in august after the ROTTMNT movie bc of new or returning fans rediscovering an old ship that's been a constant since the 03 fandom. and ppl posted fanart of the two versions in the tags before this too, but there was a notable uptick in those new fans after august 2022. I think when Samurai Rabbit aired, ppl posted fanart then too. 

The SliderBunny tag existed already for people's own teen!Miyamoto Usagi x Rise!Leo versions and honestly, this could continue as an umbrella tag for any Rise!Leo x Usagi ships going forward, as "Rise Leosagi" has built up more as a tag. or "2018 Leosagi" whichever do you prefer

For 2003 Leosagi, Katanashipping exists bc it's unique to them (the katana-gifting scene in the 03 show) + it is a more specific name and tag, which helps to find it easier or make it more specific. + it just adds the extra flavor of knowing what went on between the two in the show. That was their last canon interaction as far as we know. 

I want to also add here that the 03 version of Miyamoto Usagi is specifically very different. I remember reading an article somewhere which mentioned that Stan Sakai had been a bit upset w the 03 team that they made Usagi so young and different from his comics. I'll repost/add the link another time, but the main point is that the 03 pairing/friendship is quite different from both the existing canon comics and the 12!tmnt iteration of their friendship.

someone pointed out that the yuinardo tag could be for the ship Yuichi Usagi x 12!Leonardo but I do not see it that way for the above reasons. But what could be the name for that then? That's for the shippers of that ship to decide. I've heard some variations of smashing the names together for this like Luichi and YuiLeo (I kinda like that 2nd one myself), but they both sound a bit too much like real names to be tags/ship names.

I do not know the Yuichi x 12Leo name, but I suppose it could follow common convention of adding 12 in front, since that has been done before for people's own versions of 12leosagi as well, so thir's world and see what happens! so it'll be interesting takes off more. There is potential for both angst and comedy in this one. 🤔 what people will start tagging this onnce coed be 12leochi or 12yuinardo maybe even. I do not see it honestly, but I also did not continue watching much of tmnt12 after season 3 bc it was hard to see Leo go through Stuff(tm) again and I did not like how the show approached writing its female characters. So I don't quite get the appeal, but I think if fans see opportunities to write it in interesting/fun ways, why not. I headcanon 12!Leo as a  transfem lesbian, and Yuichi reads slightly transmasc for me, so maybe that's why I don't quite see it bc my fanon ideas are a bit different for them ^^; + it feels like they are from different times from a "when it was made" perspective, the shows' vibes are different (12 is more horror-genre scifi a lot of times while SRTUC does not lean into its horror thematics as much as it could be the name for that then? That's for the shippers of that ship to decide. 

the transfem sapphic version I know one person calls Blue Sapphics, which is cute, but idk if there's a common name that every shipper uses? let me know in the reblogs or comments. 

anyway, larger point also; it's not so bad to have multiple tags (as long as you use them according to what's in the post) and multiple names - so that one tag (leosagi) doesn't have to do all the heavy-lifting and that fans who only want one flavor, can have that. tagging is more like a courtesy but it helps to make finding fanart/other fans of the same thing easier, but they often also follow what becomes commonly discussed and used among a fandom.

Sorry if this is super-duper long, I haven't been able to write normally since discovering the internet and that I could post on it and things just happen to get this long when I finally finish a writing ^^; 

crunches my brain a lil as I make this post bc i have other stuff cooking in my brain

[nickgerlich]

Orange You Glad

I am such a nerd. I get excited about things that everyone else thinks is boring. Right now I am reading a book on immigration, which I find to be very intellectually stimulating. Stats, baby. Bring ‘em. It’s just that my wife thinks I am as boring as the subject matter of the book she gave me. And don’t ever let me back you into a corner in a social setting, because your eyes will be glazing over in minutes.

So when I saw Coca-Cola’s latest campaign for its new Orange Cream line extension, I stopped dead in my tracks to check out every aspect. I get paid to study these things. Actually, I get paid to be a nerd. And, being the nerd I am, after a deep dive I do soundly declare this is very well done. All they have to do is wait for the customers to start giving them their money.

As I have said before several times now, line extensions are the easy way to keep pushing new products. Of course, there’s risk when they fail, and you aren’t going to get extra shelf space just because you have another flavor.

If anyone should know this, it is Coca-Cola, which recently discontinued last-year’s line extension, Coca-Cola Spice. It was trying to tap into the Gen-Z and Millennial love affair with “swicy” food, a cute portmanteau of sweet and spicy. Why not make a soda that mimics the same flavor sensation they find in foods?

It’s just that it flopped miserably.

But back to Orange Cream, which company execs say was influenced by consumer research indicating a current fascination with that flavor. Remember, taste preferences come and go. You have to hop on the trend early, but also be prepared to jump off when our quirky tastes move on to the next big thing. Who knows. Maybe umami needs a soda.

This campaign, though, is a text book example of how to use nostalgia as a touchpoint, but also send the message out through a perfect mix of analog and digital platforms. In other words, expect to see Coca-Cola Orange Cream everywhere you go, from TV to billboards, from in-store to your socials. Hot on the heels of the Westside’s Finest campaign we discussed a few days ago, this one too is flawless. I absolutely love the video that features an ice cream truck. Who among us doesn’t have childhood memories of the ice cream truck? And who didn’t have at least one Orange Creamsicle? I am betting all y’all—there, I said it in my best Texan—have done this.

I must comment on the abundant use of nostalgia these days by marketers. The lack of American cohesion in identity and politics, the uncertain economy, all the change around us whether we like it or not…all of these have left us in a collective funk. Nostalgia is a great escape, albeit momentary, from all the junk in our minds these days. If a can of orange Coke—in both sugar and zero sugar varietals—can put us in a better place for a few minutes, then so be it. It’s not hurting anyone.

Coca-Cola also earns high marks in their branding consistency. The familiar script font is used to identify the brand, so that on the shelf or in a c-store cooler, there is little doubt this is a Coke product. It should be noted that Coca-Cola has already had an Orange Vanilla variant, so the flavor is not exactly new to the brand. The company has embraced flavorful line extensions for many years now, once they introduced Diet Coke in 1982. In some supermarkets, it is possible to find 20 or more different flavor, sugar, and caffeine versions. It’s mind-boggling, but they are doing their best to hit every customer flavor preference.

How long the current attraction to orange cream will last is anyone’s guess. It could be that we have entered the era of “flavor of the year,” a lot like how peach was a huge hit last year. There were many peachy beers, seltzers, and ciders introduced. I bet they won’t last long. In my mind, it’s almost as if there’s a company behind this, declaring which flavor to push. If you are thinking you have seen this concept elsewhere, you would be right. Each fall Pantone declares what the next year’s color will be, influencing marketers of all kinds to bring to market as many bed sheets, curtains, clothing, etc., that are in that color.

All told, Coca-Cola has pulled out all the stops, as a company of their size should. The company boasts it is willing to take chances, knowing full well that some of their products may miss the mark. What a great attitude. And what a great campaign, even if I probably won’t buy any. I’m just not a frequent soda drinker.

Of course, the bottom line is consumer behavior. Will people buy it? And, more importantly, will people buy it again? Never mind the cannibalization that will necessarily go on, because we can only drink so much soda. Soft drink sales in the US have been declining throughout this century. Now here’s an interesting fact: per capita consumption of soft drinks in the US was 42.2 gallons last year. Yikes. Mine was less than 12 ounces. And yet this number has been in steady decline.

Coca-Cola is betting a lot of money on a category that is slowly dying. Whether this can help bolster sales is the great unknown. Heck, all that’s missing is a collab with a pop icon. Maybe Beyonce would like to help create a new beverage? You never know. That might have a great marketing rhythm.

Dr “Nerding Out” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[il-predestinato]

90% of my dash are in mourning, and here I am wondering what Lando/Oscar’s ship name would be.

[luckyshotwrites]

Yandere Vore 3 - FOREVER (Neutral Ending)

In case you haven't read the past parts: Yandere Vore Master Post-It

Contents Warning (Spoilers): Willing prey, Willing Pred, Half size Difference, ?/M Teasing/Threatening, vore mentions, and Possessiveness.

Word count: 1091

(He does have a name now, Portmanteau, (Port for short) shout out to @fairlyqualityanon for helping me with it. A few skips ahead. ENJOY!)

--------------------------------------------------------------

After my failed escape attempt, he made sure to tie me to the bed every time he left. He'd keep my wrists and ankles bound with rope to the posts. So tightly that any simple twist burned. Not that I wanted to keep trying anyway. There was no point. If I somehow slipped from them, I wouldn't be able to leave the house again. I spoiled my last chance.

The dread pressed into me. It's how I thought Port's knife might feel if he ever snapped. There were times he'd point it at me when I disobeyed before dropping it. Or he'd be rough handling me. If he held me and I pulled away, he'd squeeze me hard into himself. Almost like he wanted his body to mold around me and keep me incased.

If Port was around, he ALWAYS had to have me near him and in his sight. And anytime I looked at a door or window, he would tell me, "no one WILL EVER take you away from me," with the same overwhelming infatuation I never understood.

I won't escape him, will I? I questioned every day, getting enveloped by the same routine. I'd wake up with him and be alone for hours staring at the chips in the wood ceiling. I got to know every little line and crevice. And started to desperately await his return, even crave it.

I wanted to see his affectionate smile and hear him tell me how good I had been while he petted me. I needed affirmation to hope I didn't get bound up again. I didn't want to be left alone. The three hours felt like years.

And it turned into regret and remorse. I shouldn't have tried to run. Why did I do that? There was a frustration growing at my core. He feeds me, he clothes me, and he keeps me safe. Why would I want to run away? I let out a soft scream. I talked so little that I sensed like I couldn't anymore unless it was to respond to him. To obey him. That was truly the only way I knew peace. When he didn't threaten, prod, or harshly tease me.

The days mashed together at one point, and I couldn't take it as he got ready to tie me up again. His hands came down, and I ran into him. I hugged his leg the best I could, my head near his hip. I could only wrap around one of his legs.

"Please, don't leave me," I begged and looked up at him.

The suddenness caught him off guard.

"I'm sorry, Port." I whimpered with a croak in my voice. "I shouldn't have ever tried to leave you. I didn't understand; I didn't know." I pressed into his leg, "I'll never do it again."

My strike left us in silence. I held on. 

"I know yo-you'll never trust me."

His swirling red hue bore down on me, and a severe crack whipped out, "you're trying to trick me."

"I'M NOT!" I declared, gripping his cargo pants tighter.

His lip quivered. He pried me from my hold and held me up in front of him. I could see his face struggling to smile, a joy oversaturated with annoyance. "Do you think you can run away again?" his cold eyes shifted to a sweet deposition, "you won't, dear. They won't dirty you anymore."

"I DON'T WANT TO RUN AWAY!"

His hands tightened around my ribcage, and he let out a few raspy. "STOP IT!" He brought our faces close to one another. "DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME," his hands trembled, "my sweet, sweet treasure.~"

He compressed my ribs, and I choked out, still making my declaration known. "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, POR-PORTAMANTEAU."

He flinched at his full name. His thumbs loosened. I expelled the old breath and took anew. Then, coughed in the process. 

His lips flicked into a smile, exposing his canines. 

He grit his teeth together and chuckled through them. He swung me near the bed and tipped forward with me.

 "Then prove it." His distrust never left. "Don't tell me with your words; show me." An exhilaration left his mouth along with the words he whispered, "let me encompass you."

A thick cocktail of worry and fear began in my throat. 

I swallowed it back. "If that's what it takes, I trust you."

His eyes widened wildly. He stepped to the bed and let me fall onto it. He didn't say anything; his vision marveled at my flesh. 

I knew he had the pure instinct to consume. I never admitted it before, but many Apex's did. I ignored it all and pretended the problem never existed. Until I met him. 

He held my legs up, easily keeping my ankles bound with one hand. "If you struggle or pull away from me..." he made sure I met his gaze, "I'll do far worse." He whistled, a serious cast over his eyes. "So don't make me do that."

I remained still and terrified. Listening to every single gulp, slurp, and hum as his body pulled me deeper into its warm insides. They pressed at my lower half, constricting it as the heated compression made me sweat.

He went so slow, occasionally stopping to lightly bite. He seemed so tempted to take a bigger one. But overall, even as his teeth went over my neck, I didn't concede. I stayed true to my word and let him eat me.

…

It became a habit. He'd playfully put my hands near his mouth, lick them, or lick my cheek or other parts he had near. He took my offer to the extreme, almost always choosing to consume me when he held me.

I knew his body was dangerous. It would digest me if I lingered inside him too long. And yet this was better. He was kind and caring as long as I gave myself to him. He even let me see the outdoors again, once.

He started doing it several times a day. He was careful, gentle, and adored the act. At this point, I was inside him more than outside him. I understood its constrictions, noises, and motions to try to break down my body.

I got used to his care, his threats, his skepticism, the ropes-his tone-everything, and anything he did to me.

And the thought of leaving again made me sick. I didn't want to feel the outside world anymore.

 Because now, I was his and would always be his, forever.

...

Thank you for reading, next part coming out soonish? It'll be a big one and a surprise VERY gritty one too that was supposed to be the real bad ending. Hope you enjoyed and have a great day!

[cyclaes]

fic fragment - title undecided for now

Summary: Selena Burke has a bad reaction to hearing about Prince Geordo’s new engagement, and Prince Ian is having none of that. Inspired by this post and the rumors of LN12 involving a new fiancée for Prince Geordo.

The engagement between the third prince and the daughter of Duke Claes has always been a topic of much discussion among the people of Sorciere. All four princes and their fiancées are much-discussed, of course - but unlike Mary Hunt and Susanna Randall, too competent to attack, or Selena Burke, weak but disgustingly proper, more boring than hateful - the eccentric and magically-weak Katarina Claes is always good for a sneer and a gossip session.

And, unlike Alan and Geoffrey, their blond brothers are subject to unceasing speculation as to whether their engagements are...open to negotiation. It has died down some since the incident with the kidnapping, at least for Ian and Selena - but now it is raging at full force for Geordo and Katarina. 

(Quietly, with the secrecy of men aiming for a previously-unthinkable goal, there are those who gossip about the rumored break - but about Katarina Claes's availability, not Prince Geordo's)

"...what can you expect, with a prince that capable and the Claes girl being like..." sniggers one nobleman to another in the halls outside the public throne-room. 

Prince Ian, with his fiancée on his arm, are nearby - close enough to catch the unkind remark, far enough for the nobles not to notice them. Selena, more resolute than people think she is, controls her reaction to a small flinch. But Ian notices it. 

*** 

"...I won't!" Geordo is insisting to their father when Ian walks in. For a rarity, all the male members of the royal family are now gathered in one room at the same time - the king behind his desk, weary; Geoffrey leaning against the wall and watching, his face uncharacteristically somber; Alan standing near his twin, his expression complicated. 

All conversation cuts off as Ian strides to their father's desk and upends a portmanteau, covering the teakwood surface with papers and envelopes.

"Ian!" King Owen says in surprise. "What are you..."

"This talk of new engagements for Geordo is stupid," Ian says bluntly. "So I went ahead and got the rescindments from everyone who sent in their application. There. That should fix it."

"...what?" comes the same reply from four different voices at once. 

"Everyone who's sent in an application has now sent in a formal renouncement of their offer in writing," Ian explains, slowly, in a tone that indicates his opinion of his family's intelligence is dropping rapidly. "There they are."

King Owen picks up a particularly creamy-looking envelope and studies it. "This - this is from Duke Richaud of Quid. We don't even have an application from him."

"Oh, his application must not have gotten here yet." Ian shrugs. "Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. We can keep this on file for when it does show up." 

Geordo is staring at him with the shocked look of a drowning man who has unexpectedly been hit in the head by a life-preserver dropping out of the sky. "Ian...Ian-nii..." He swallows hard and stands up straight, shoulders relaxing from a tension that has been stiffening them for days. "Th-thank you!"

Ian slants a cool blue gaze at his younger brother. "I didn't do it for you," he informs Geordo. "Next time - better let a few months pass first, a half-year if we can - just let her be the one to break it. Don't let her name be dragged in the mud further than it has been already just because she's had the terrible luck to be engaged to you."

Geordo staggers backwards as if Ian has struck him in the face. "What?"

Ian ignores Geordo and turns to his staring father. "And then, adopt the girl as a ward of our family. We don't, legally speaking, need to have precedent, but Grandmother Calla's link to the Adeths and your own time as a ward of Duke Lucan Claes will serve as justification. That way it'll be clear that it was us seeking a tie with House Claes, and not the other way around, and people will stop running their mouths about a girl who deserves better at our hands."

"Duke Claes is still alive, though," Geoffrey points out. "As her legal guardian and actual father..."

"But she's not his heir, and as a ward of House Stuart we can make her one," Ian replies. "The estate I was given from mother's side, Atholl..."

"What are you talking about?" Geordo demands, grabbing Ian's shoulder. 

"She doesn't need to marry you to be my younger sister," Ian states baldly. "And at Atholl she'll be closer to me and Selena..."

"She's not yours!" Geordo screams. 

"And she's certainly not yours, nor do you deserve her," Ian says coolly. Alan flinches, but Geordo just stares with eyes aflame. Ian stares back, water-magic as potent as Geordo's fire-magic backing the coldness of his gaze. If Geordo's eyes flare with inferno, Ian's has all the dark, hidden depths of a northern sea.  

(Ian thinks back to his visit with Selena to Katarina at her Claes household; the staff staring with anger at the royal sigil on Ian's clothes. They are well-trained and the pick of the wealthy and expansive Claes holdings; still they cannot help but show it. They, too, have heard the unflattering rumours about the prince casting off their young mistress. 

But Katarina Claes herself does not look the slightest bit unhappy or flustered as she welcomes them to tea with the grace only actual happiness at a guest's arrival can give. 

"Oh no," she laughs, waving her hand airily, when Selena - anxious, sad, seeing herself all too easily in the younger girl's place - brings the topic up with much fear. "I always knew Geordo would end up with someone better than me." 

There is a moment of silence.

"But…Katarina…you're crying," Selena says, her voice very soft.

Katarina puts a hand up to her face, feels tears on her fingertips. "Oh.”

She swallows hard. “Oh, you're right."

And Ian remembers the feeling of watching Katarina Claes, who had given Selena the confidence she needed, had given Ian the chance he didn’t deserve, who had forgiven her own kidnapping and imprisonment and become the best friend her kidnapper could have, who had been the reason he and Selena had finally realized their love - watching the girl who had been so bright and joyous in the face of so much darkness - watching her smile waver and tremble but stick on her pale face as the tears streamed down - remembers the sick twisting in his belly, remembers the answering and too-empathetic tears on Selena's face as she had taken a finally-sobbing Katarina into her arms.)

And, remembering, he finds the strength to tell his younger brother, "She deserves better than this." 

"How dare you," Geordo begins to snarl.

"And I don't deserve Selena. I hurt her, for longer. I was pathetic. You - you've been braver than me, but just as pathetic. You're braver, but not brave enough to actually open your heart enough to convince her. Not when she knows the real reason you pushed for the engagement to begin with," Ian tells Geordo, remembering what Katarina had gasped out to Selena as she sobbed in the older girl's arms. 

Geordo goes pale. "She - she knows?"

Alan is pale as well. "Knows - knows what? Geordo, what real reason? Ian!" 

Geoffrey exhales sharply, in conjunction with his father. 

"She's always known." 

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Hypothetically,

Ao3,   MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Intrulogical, Platonic Logince

It is about! Damn! Time! That I wrote some Intrulogical! Also, y’all already know my stance on platonic logince,,,, guys they ARE best friends i’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending). mentions of stuff like autopsies and nuclear explosions in the context of like experiments- they do stuff in The Imagination, basically. Panic attack (?). Hurt/comfort. Pretty heated kissing; It’s more intense makin’ out than I usually write but it isn’t anything explicit at all, don’t worry! ADHD Remus and Autistic Logan. Cursing- like So Much Cursing. Mentions of space, deep sea, etc. Food mention.

Word count: 6,769

There was a conundrum. 

A., Logan needed to use the Imagination. B., He could not use it on his own, considering that he was Logic. C., Roman was nowhere to be found. The answer to what was frustrating Logan at that moment would be all of the above.

To be clear, he didn’t like going into the Imagination. It was simply the only suitable place to perform his ‘experiments’. His very necessary, very distracting experiments. But, as stated, Roman was God-knows-where doing God-knows-what. 

Logan sighed at the door, as though it was the inanimate structure’s fault. The cracks gleamed obnoxiously bright, golden light pouring out from behind the door in a somewhat eerie manner. It was a nonsensical, unrealistic, completely insignificant place, and he wanted in.

Logan was contemplating asking Janus for help (lies took imagination, right?) when, out of nowhere, an arm was thrown around his shoulders. Literally an arm, disembodied and oozing sick-smelling blood onto the carpet. Ah. Wonderful. 

“Hello, Remus,” he pulled the appendage from around him, holding it at arm’s length (no pun intended, dammit). 

“Hi!” Remus took his arm back and reattached it with a disturbing crunch, a grin stretching his face. He sidled up to Logan, imitating the side’s stance in front of the door. 

“Can I help you with something?” the logical trait tilted his shoulder away from where Remus had pressed against him. 

“Not unless you’re willing to get really messy- but I can help you!”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re implying.”

The Duke rolled his eyes, promptly flinging the door to The Imagination open. An encompassing energy radiated into the common room, corrupting the usual neutrality of the space. It didn't last long before Remus grabbed Logan’s wrist and dragged him along through the entryway, movements as sporadic and fast-paced as everything else about the creative.

“It’s not very logical to just stand there staring at the door all day, in my opinion. I dunno what you need Imagination for, but whatever it is, I can help! My half is much more interesting, anyway.”

“Oh,” Logan blinked, narrowly ducking his head under a branch as he was pulled forward, “Thank you, I suppose.”

He politely didn’t mention that he doubted Remus’ capacity for helpfulness. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all. 

The door from the commons was quite a walk from the darker half of The Imagination, but at the pace its owner had them going they were there in minutes. The border was marked with tangles of densely thorned shrubbery, which parted for them, as if they sensed the approach. Logan just barely avoided snagging his shoe on one as they passed.

There was forest, twisted and shadowy, for only a minute. After that, they were in a city, with tall buildings and winding streets and dark alleys. Another switch, they came into what seemed like an amusement park. Nothing was consistent in theme, and none of the scenes held up for more than a minute or two. Remus shook his head and tisked. With a snap, a good portion of the ever-changing scenery was erased, leaving blank white space. The Duke turned to look at Logan with a satisfied smile. 

“Ta-da! What do you need?” 

Logan blanched for a moment, surprised at Remus’ willingness to completely delete Imaginings without a second thought. It usually took Roman ages to find a spot that he was okay with giving up on for Logan’s “projects”- which he always had thought was a little silly, seeing as he could bring it back when they were done. The change of pace was a pleasant one, though, so there was no need to dawdle for long. 

“I need a miniature fully-functioning model of our solar system. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Oh, totally,” Remus waved his hand and the request appeared suspended in the air, spread out to be the size of a dining table. All was accounted for- sun, moons, eight planets plus pluto- orbiting and spinning around each other. Imagination, by nature, had no real limits, but the detail was still a sight to behold every time. Logic smiled, surveying the set-up, before gesturing to the edge of their blank section.

“Thank you for the help, you may go.”

“May I now?” Remus conjured a seat for himself, staring at Logan with his chin resting on his hands, “You’re not even going to tell me what this is for? That’s just rude.”

Logan glanced up from the tiny earth he was inspecting, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“You are welcome to stay, if you wish, but your brother usually leaves at this point. He says my experiments are-” he summons his notebook, “‘Bore-ifying’, which I assume is a portmanteau for ‘boring’ and ‘horrifying’.” 

“Roman’s a big baby!”

Logan shrugged, not disagreeing, and resumed his careful observation of the tiny model earth. Remus made no move to go, wheeling his chair even closer. The scientific side carried on before his new audience of one, hovering a hand over the little planet. Abruptly, it stopped spinning. Logan made a gesture with his hand that magnified the model significantly. 

The results were immediately catastrophic. Logan jotted a few observations down in his notebook, watching closely at the ways torrents of wind ripped up trees and buildings. In the back of his mind, he was faintly impressed by just how well-rendered ‘Dark’ Creativity’s earth was, down to the individual humans, brutalized by the storms. 

“Whoah, what the fuck?!” 

Logan looked up briefly to see Remus craning his head over the destruction of the stilled planet. His eyes were wide and bright with curiosity.

“Oh- I should probably explain. I come here, usually, to run some improbable scenarios as a sort of stress-reliever. Specifically, this one is what would happen if earth stopped spinning on its axis. As you can see, due to the earth no longer rotating at its usual speed, the wind would continue on at-” he cut himself off abruptly, sensing the beginnings of a ramble, “I’m sorry, I’ve been told that I have a tendency to ‘go off’ when a subject particularly interests me.”

Remus rolled his chair even closer, looking much like an excited animal (more so than usual, anyway).

“Well then, go off! Don’t leave me hanging! Is that really what would happen, just if it stopped?” He gestured enthusiastically to the way that the oceans had begun to crash against and consume shorelines. He looked interested- genuinely interested. 

Logan bit back a smile. He didn’t have to be told twice. 

 It was one of those particularly restless nights. For no foreseeable goddamn reason, Logic’s mind had become alight with enough half-formed thoughts and barely sensible ideas to fill a very, very weird book. The Imagination did wonders when he got like this, but it usually wasn’t two in the morning when he needed to use it. That wasn’t to say the circumstance was unheard of, but all times prior he could push the urge to investigate away with the reasoning that he could just ask Roman in the morning, and that the Creative side needed his ‘beauty sleep’, as he called it. There wasn’t anything he could do about that, was there?

Tonight was different. Logan could hear the occasional snap or tear or cackle from the room across from his. Remus’ room. 

It had been less than a week since The Duke let him use the darker half of the Mindpalace, and that was pretty much the only meaningful interaction they’d had in as many days. They weren’t close, Logan wasn’t even sure if they were friends (not that he was a good judge of that, given the first time Roman referred to them as ‘besties’ he had all but cried), but Remus was at the very least an option. He was also unlikely to mind, given that he was already awake and had exhibited excitement previously. 

Logan made up his mind after yet again failing to fall asleep. Quietly, he opened his door and took the few short steps across the hall, raising his fist. Remus’ door was open before his second knock. 

“Oh, hey! What are you doing, coming knocking at this hour?” he didn’t even try to whisper, accompanying his statement with an over-exaggerated wink. Logan didn’t waste his time trying to shush the side. 

“Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting anything-”

“You know I don’t mind your ‘interruptions’, Twunk-y Megamind!”

“-But I was wondering if you would… Help me, again. I seem to be having a hard time getting to sleep, and I think that getting out some of my ideas could help.”

Remus’ face lit up dramatically. 

“Oh hell yes! Are we gonna blow up more planets?”

“Something like that,” he kept his voice monotone, disguising the relief and hint of pride at such a positive reaction. 

“Well, come on!”

Logan let himself be dragged into Remus’ room, barely having time to make note of the surprisingly organized layout before he was pulled through a sleek black door. 

“But you have to tell me about it,” he ordered, twisting them through narrow paths in his half of The Imagination. Logan suppressed a smile. 

“If you want to hear it, then I’m happy to.” 

Without warning, they stopped the breakneck pace that Remus moved at. The trait seemed appeased with their surroundings, though as far as Logan could tell it was just another piece of ever-shifting ominous landscape. 

Remus snapped his fingers. The scene remained intact. 

“Sorry,” he glanced around nervously, “Things get stuck in my head sometimes. Can’t get ‘em out. I’ll get it, I just-”

“It’s no trouble.” 

Logan rolled up his sleeves. He didn’t like using his ‘abilities’ much, as every side had some set of special skills, and all of them were much too ostentatious. But they were helpful, at times. He waved a hand, gesturing carefully so that he didn’t dismantle any more of The Imagination than was absolutely necessary. With a small stutter, the landscape shifted to a blank slate.

When he looked back up, Remus’ expression was not unlike that of a Cheshire cat.

“What was that?”

“I am Logic, therefore it follows that I am the antithesis to any Imagination creations. It’s very easy to erase them with just a bit of rationality.” 

“No clue what a lot of those words meant, but it’s still cool that you can destroy shit.”

Laughing was unbecoming, to say the least, and so the logical trait tended to avoid it at all costs. The snort that escaped him was entirely involuntary. 

If Remus noticed the noise, he said nothing about it. He was too busy bouncing from foot to foot, expectantly waiting for instructions. Logan cleared his throat of the outburst and clapped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s start with something simple…”

 At his request, Remus would construct immaculately detailed creatures, settings, and models, watching gleefully at the ordeals Logan put each one through. They tested various and progressively elaborate ways to sink populated cruise liners, they simulated the effects of falling from the Empire State Building, dissected approximations of obscure marine animals (a shared special interest of theirs, apparently), and any of the other unrealistic questions that occurred to the typically rational Logic. 

The only way to get such questions from his mind, he’d found out a long time ago, was deconstructing them one step at a time, to see them in their full ridiculousness. 

It was also, he was coming to realize, incredibly fun. 

Before the two knew it, the already late hour had turned unreasonable. Logan blinked owlishly at his watch, distracted from the tiny supernova that he’d created.

“Oh, I must have lost track of time,” four in the morning. Four in the morning! 

“Aw, does that mean we’re done?” Remus whined, yet he still began unmaking his small star system. 

Logan was suddenly very aware of the heaviness of his eyelids and a rubbery feeling in his limbs. God, was he tired. 

“I’m afraid so. I really should’ve gone to sleep hours ago.”

“Fine,” Remus dragged the word out with a groan, “But let me know next time you wanna fuck with space, or deep sea stuff, or anything like that.”

Next time. 

As much as Logan adored Roman, there was something very nice about having the more grim brother help him out with these experiments. For one, his creations were often much more accurate to the real world- likely because gore and destruction were that much more impactful when they were realistic. For two, he actually seemed to enjoy the work. 

Logan’s deliberation was brief. 

“I will.”

 As it happened, the night spent delving into dozens of ideas had purged Logan’s need to use The Imagination, for the time being. Clearly, Remus was not patient enough to wait for him.

He popped up, unannounced, in Logic’s room.

“Lo!!!”

The trait in question fell out of his office chair in a very undignified way. Not that there’s a particularly dignified way to fall out of a chair, but if there was, this definitely wouldn’t have been it. He ‘ate shit’, as the saying goes.

Out of pure embarrassment, Logan made no move to get off the floor.

“Hello, Remus,” he greeted, “How may I help you?”

The Duke laughed raucously, sprawling into the now-unoccupied chair and leaning over him. 

“You’re a riot, Dork,” then, added with glittering eyes, “Did you break anything?”

“No. Given that I am metaphysical, I’m not sure that I have bones.”

“I have bones!”

“Are they your bones?”

“They are bones and they are in my possession, yes.” 

Logan let the subject drop and repeated his first question. 

“Right, I forgot! I have an idea for an experiment!”

Logan thought that, despite his mild humiliation, it would probably benefit the conversation if he wasn’t lying on the ground, so he stopped doing that. Brushing mostly imaginary dust from his clothes, he shot Remus a bemused look.

“That’s nice. But I was asking you why you were here.”

The Duke’s face fell, almost imperceptibly.  

“I thought you’d wanna know, because of what you said last time. Isn’t this, like, a thing we do now? You know how shit works, and I know how to make that shit, and then you can tell me about it!” 

Oh. 

“Remember when you were talking about radiation the other day? You can’t just say stuff like that and then not expect me to want to try it out, so really this is on you. It’d be dumb not to let you in on it.”

Oh. 

He’d been listening to that rant? Moreover, he’d remembered it, and now had his own ideas and follow-up questions about it? 

Logan felt light-headed. 

“You’re probably too busy with work, huh? I guess my explosions don't have to be accurate, if you’re set on being boring,” Remus’ tone was nonchalant, but he was obviously lingering for attention. Logan then remembered that words are a thing, and people use them to communicate.

“No! I mean, yes- I mean, I’m not busy. I can join you, I- I’d like to, even,” the intelligent side heard a small voice in his head, his own miniature Virgil, screaming- what the fuck was that, get it together, Jesus, because he, despite what his fellow sides insisted, was absolutely nonfunctional when trying to form a friendship. 

Remus didn’t seem to notice or care much past his own cheer.

“Cool!” he, yet again, wasted no time in seizing Logan’s arm and yanking him away, “I wanted to see what would happen to animals and plants and stuff bunches of years after lots of radiation! Do you think they’d mutate? Get all twisted and fucked up so that they aren’t even recognizable as, say, a dog?”

Logan considered the question as he was led through the Mindpalace.

“Well, nothing would be able to live there at all. Additionally, anything within a little under a mile of the nuclear fallout- depending on a few variables- would be completely incinerated upon impact.”

“Like, flesh-melting incinerated?” 

“More like vaporized. The fireball would burn 10,000 times the heat of the sun.”

Remus went starry eyed, bringing them to a halt a mere five feet from the door. 

“I wanna see that,” he waved his hands around at their surroundings, “Can you do the white-out thing?” 

Logan, much less hesitant than last time, obliged. A small smile escaped him at the wondrous look on The Duke’s face. It was another form of expression he didn’t particularly care for, but containing his emoting was more trouble than it was worth by now. He couldn’t find it in him to care much either, for once. 

“Where do we start?” Remus prompted.

“You tell me. I will help you make it as accurate as possible, and provide any insight that you want, but it is your idea,” and he wanted to hear more about those ideas. Odd and violent, mesmerizing and clever. There was so much that he wanted to hear about, to talk about, to puzzle out together. 

Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone to share such interests with. Maybe, despite how deeply he cared for his ‘family’, as Patton called them- maybe it was never.

Remus chattered as he worked, disrupting the train of thought. Logan almost tuned it out- after all, everyone had grown perfectly used to The Duke’s rambling- but he caught himself. That was hardly how he should treat the side that was so strangely considerate to him, wasn’t it? 

Logan listened from then on. He began to add on to the conversation, corrections and elaborations and actual questions, because he actually didn’t know some of it. He didn’t regret the choice. 

By the end, Remus and Logan were sitting together in the smoldering ruins of their make-believe test town, exchanging notes for different variables they could use in the next trial. They only stopped when Logan was abruptly summoned away by Thomas. He excused himself, a bit apologetic, promising to visit again soon.

As he helped Thomas (with what really should have been a simple task, honestly), Logic wondered briefly about the origins of the hollow feeling that grew in his chest. Something distracted, longing, and unfamiliar. 

And then the oven caught fire, and the only thing he felt was annoyance with the man that he was somehow a component of. 

 So, that was that- Logan and Remus were friends, now spent regular time together, and shared interests. By all accounts, it was a simple and obviously positive development. 

But then there was Roman. 

“What’s wrong with my work? You’d really prefer whatever edgy 12-year-old DeviantArt account nonsense that he thinks up?”

Logan set his book down with a sigh and looked over to his doorway, where Roman stood with his hands on his hips.

“Come in, Roman, and thank you for knocking,” he snarked. The Creative side made a vaguely sassy noise, trotting right in and flopping backwards onto the bed. Without closing the door, the monster.

“I thought that building your Weird Science contraptions was our thing.”

Logan made a show of standing up and manually shutting his door before responding. 

“You don’t like my ‘contraptions’, as you call them.”

“Yeah, but I still made them for you! Because we’re friends, but I suppose you’ve forgotten all about that!” 

He really should have expected the melodrama. And yet, Logan had lived in a delusional world where he didn’t care about the most Extra being on earth.

With an eye roll, Logic dropped down beside Roman on the bed- though he wasn’t half as flamboyant about it. 

“I can have more than one friend.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be your favorite! We’re supposed to hang out together! Do the friendship bracelets I made mean nothing to you?”

He flung his arm across Logan’s chest, a ‘friendship bracelet’ clearly visible on his wrist (a loose usage of the term, given that it was a solid gold band with inlaid sapphires, because of course it was).

Logan held up his arm as well, showing that his (silver with inlaid rubies) was still very much in use, despite his distaste for jewelry.

“We hang out plenty. It wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings by spending time with your brother. My reason for doing so is that he seems to take active enjoyment in building and learning about these things with me. He also makes very good conversation, in regards to the more, ah, eccentric experiments.”

Roman tossed his head to the side to watch Logan with narrowed eyes. After a pause, he linked their arms at the elbow. 

“Yeah, you would think that. You’re secretly just as much of a weirdo as him.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Oh please, I can barely keep up with a word that either of you say,” Roman headbutted Logan’s shoulder in what was likely another of his odd displays of affection. He let his head rest there for a minute, a rare instance of peace before he inevitably resumed talking. 

“Anyways-”

“Anyway,” Logan corrected.

“Anyways, if you nerds wanna talk about your weird, creepy experiments, then I guess that’s fine. But he isn’t allowed to co-opt anything else that we do together that we both actually like- no making fun of movies together, no Crofters jams, and no poetry-slash-rap battles.”

“Of course not, Roman. You will always be my favorite person to disagree with.”

“Love you, too,” Creativity bumped him again, then sat up to stretch. Logan snorted a laugh and considered shoving Roman off the bed, watching as he raised his arms up and straightened his back. Before the trait had the chance, unfortunately, his friend was already standing. 

“Leaving already? Weren’t you just going on about spending time together?”

“Nah, that was all I wanted to yell at you about for now. I’ve gotta go help Pat with dinner.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thanks, I won’t.”

“I hate you.”

“Ditto.”

Halfway out the door, Roman threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Oh, and whatever you two end up doing, do not give me the details. Please.”

Okay, finally, that really was that. Friendship established, blessings given, the end. A simple symbiosis.

Logan was thinking about the practical uses of medieval torture devices? Remus. He wanted to see exactly how long it would take your average healthy adult to succumb to drowning? Remus. Logan wanted to just rant, about anything and everything, his brain moving a mile a minute? Remus. They spent an inordinate amount of time together. 

Occasionally, when he didn’t even have the energy to converse, he would sit down with a book in the commons when he knew Remus was there and let the trait’s never ending word-vomit wash over him. It was an odd sort of intimacy, but that fit within the theme of their dynamic. Like he said, simple symbiosis. 

And that was when the not-very-platonic fondness grew. And Logan, to his own surprise, allowed it to. 

After deep consideration he had seen no reason not to; Remus wouldn’t judge him, not ever. It put a name to the hollow longing that occurred whenever he, eventually, had to get back to work and part from their talks. 

He hadn’t sorted out what to do about the feeling yet, but he felt no urgency. 

Logan’s book lay forgotten in his lap, that morning being one of the quiet ones as he reflected on his unfamiliar emotions. It was almost nice, letting such affection curl up in his chest and settle there.

His contemplation was broken by a sharp jab to his shoulder.

“Are you listening to me?”

He tilted his head at Remus.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“What were you thinking about?” his eyes lit up, very obviously hoping for it to be something disgusting. Logan glanced away, given that he didn’t even like eye-contact in the best of circumstances. 

“Nothing important. You have my attention now.”

Remus rolled his eyes with a huff, apparently genuinely irritated. 

“Well now I forgot what I was saying.”

“Let’s backtrack: what were you talking about before?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s fine, we can talk about something else.”

The irritation had grown to something unrecognizable to Logan- frustrating, given how closely he tried to study body language. He felt a stab of guilt as Remus stood up from his spot.

“It probably didn’t matter. I’m gonna go annoy Janus.”

“Oh,” Logan’s voice was small, “Alright, then.”

He was already gone.

That was… concerning. Not to mention bewildering; Remus didn’t just pass up opportunities to talk! He didn’t just leave, not even when he wasn’t wanted! Logan really hadn’t thought his zoning out would earn such a reaction. 

But he was far from perceptive about emotional problems. There was no way to know if it was anything to throw a fit over. For all he knew, it was just an off-day. He couldn’t always expect his friend to be rambunctious and energetic, even if that was a big part of his personality. 

The issue would likely resolve itself.

 The issue did not do that. It did the polar opposite, speeding from mildly concerning to downright frightening at a whiplash-inducing pace.

Remus barely asked questions and almost never offered insight, as he usually did when they spent time together. In fact, his contributions had become rare and unenthusiastic enough that he could have passed as neurotypical, however disturbing the thought was. And that was when they did end up spending time together, which was becoming less and less often, much to the dismay of one significantly smitten smart side.

Something was very clearly wrong with Remus. Not the demented, destructive, mildly endearing and unhinged sort of wrong. It was the wrong sort of wrong.

Logan was hesitant to confront him outright. After a couple weeks of careful consideration, a more subtle solution occurred to him, as he idly flipped through a very graphic murder-mystery late into the night. Something bloody, and awful, and very much Remus’ taste. He set the novel down, knowing full well that his friend would be wide awake as he made his way across the hall.

“Remus?” he knocked at the side’s door, wearing a smile much wider than he usually liked. He was more than willing to express exuberance, if there was even the slightest chance that it would be infectious.

The door decidedly did not fly open. Rather, after a good deal of wrapping at it, Remus slowly pulled it back and poked his head out.

“Oh. Hey.”

Logan didn't dwell on the concern that reaction brought. He had something that would cheer Creativity up, of that he was sure.

“I have a test tonight- it’s going to be very messy,” he began, searching the impulsive trait’s eyes for any signs of interest. There was the slightest glint, but not much more. 

“So, you want me to make stuff for you?” His speech was monotonous. 

“Yes, that was the idea. It’s going to be gory.”

Hardly a reaction. All Remus did was open the door the rest of the way to allow Logan inside. Clearly, he had underestimated just how poorly his friend felt.

“Alright, I’ll set it up for you. Just don’t take too long, I was actually hoping to use my part of the Mindscape today.”

Logan nodded, very taken aback. He couldn’t ignore the slight hurt at the cold, dismissive tone (the irony of that wasn’t lost on him).

They stepped foot into The Imagination and immediately Remus stopped, destroying whatever had been in front of them- which was usually fine, it was just how he operated, but normally out of enthusiasm, not apathy. Maybe this was more than could be fixed with some blood and guts.

“What do you need?”

Logan conjured a tiny notebook, giving a tentative smile. Still, he was giving this plan a shot.

“Operating table,” one appeared before him, sleek metal with rolly legs, “A standard set of surgical tools,” he looked up to gauge Remus’ interest, but his expression still hadn’t changed as he continued to create, “A human corpse, and then we can get started.”

With a wave, a perfectly generic body fell onto the table, but Logan’s attention remained on The Duke.

“Great, have fun, let me know when you’re finished.”

Logan faltered, watching him turn to leave.

“You- you aren’t going to stay and do this with me?”

“You want me to?” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Logan with a gaze that could (figuratively) wilt flowers.

“I- Yes? If you aren’t at all interested right now, then I can save this experiment for another day?” Yeah, this wasn’t working, but Logan had no backup.

“No, no, don’t wait for me, you’ve already got everything you need, right?”

“I mean- technically, yes, but it- it wouldn’t be the same.”

Remus cackled, sounding quite like the cartoonish villain that he often acted as. It hurt to listen to.

“So that’s what this is about! Let me just fix you up, then!” 

He snapped, and a blank humanoid form appeared at his side. It tilted its faceless head curiously at Logan, who recoiled.

“Not good enough? Is a hunk of nothing too unrealistic for you?” he snapped again, and the being suddenly transformed to match its creator exactly. 

Nearly exactly: it wore an enthusiastic grin, eyes wide and sparkling, rather than the steadily building fire that raged in real-Remus’ eyes. It spoke in a disgustingly cheery tone.

“Wow, tell me more! Show me that again? What happens when you do that? You’re just so interesting, Lo!” 

Remus watched the creation, a look of one part pride and a million parts resentment.

“Is that what you want? It’s just like me, but without any of the hassle of being another person that you have to deal with! And this one, you really can get rid of whenever you want, isn’t that great?”

Logan looked between the two, a fearful understanding creeping up his spine. There was something he was missing here, wasn’t there?

“No,” he muttered, half to the fake-Duke and half to the real one. 

“No?” Remus spat, circling his mirror, “No, of course, you’re so right. This isn’t nearly enough.”

He made an elaborate gesture, and about a dozen more Creativities appeared, surrounding them. Logan stumbled back from them, nearly tripping on the operating table that they’d previously made. When he looked up, the real Remus was approaching him with an expression that fought its way between guilt and indignation. It was all at once heart-wrenching and frightening. 

Logan tried to right himself, tried to look unaffected and certain of himself, as he raised his voice. He would not let this go a step farther, despite his confusion.

“Stop,” and with that, a wave rocked across The Imagination, and all was erased. In the aftermath he stood before a teary-eyed Remus (just the one, though), uncharacteristically looking like a stiff wind would knock him right over.

“What’s wrong? I gave you what you wanted!”

Logan reeled.

“Why would you think I wanted any of that?” 

“You wanted an experiment, I gave you one! You wanted a willing audience, I gave you twelve! But I guess I just get everything wrong, right?”

“You know that isn’t true,” Logan felt choked, his words clumsy. It was foreign and horrible and disgusting, but he’d trudge through it all if it meant fixing whatever he’d done wrong. It couldn’t have just been him losing focus once? Could it? 

“Oh, of course, I do just enough to be useful. So I’ve got that right; I’m a good utensil. Is it so much to ask that people would care about me, not just what I can do?” he posed a rhetorical oozing with vitriol, but it quickly evaporated into something much more desperate, “What if it’s my fault? It was my idea, I wanted to help. I don’t know why I thought you’d care past all that, did I give you a reason to? I can’t remember. It might make more sense that way, if I were the problem, wouldn’t it?”

Logan was running out of time to fix this, watching Remus curl in on himself, barely keeping from falling to the floor. He had no clue how The Duke had reached the conclusion that he didn’t care about him! They spent nearly all their free time together: sitting next to each other just to have the company, throwing each other tricky and often troubling questions to answer, constantly toiling away at things in The Imagination. Sometimes, they didn’t even need to talk, they just worked together in rapt silence; Remus did the creating and Logan arranged his work just so, and- Wait. Wait. Wait.

Logan didn’t need to talk, or touch, for that matter. Perhaps it was a mistake to presume the same for such a needy, affectionate, boisterous side? 

No, not perhaps, it was a huge mistake. A major fuck-up, if you will. 

He’d thought, if the blunt side had needed such comforts, surely he would initiate it? He hardly shied away from anything, except, well. 

Except. Feelings. 

God, he was the dumbest smart person in the world.

“Oh, Remus…”

The Duke’s head jerked up, continuing his back-and-forth of desperation and rage. 

“I don't need your pity!”

Logan sighed, twisting the end of his tie in frustration. 

“That isn't what I'm offering,” he took a breath before continuing, linking the words together so it would come out right. “I'm so sorry, I didn't take into account how you would interpret our interactions. I thought it was obvious that I cared for you, that I didn't need to say it outright. Clearly… I was wrong. So, if you need more than what I previously expressed- which I'm now realizing was very little in the eyes of someone who is not me- then I am happy to provide that for you.” 

Remus was shaken, a good deal of his ire slipping away. Whether that was good or bad remained unclear.

Before it could be overthought, Logan crossed the remaining few feet between them and brought his arms around The Duke in his loose approximation of a hug. The trait froze, but he didn't pull away. 

Physical affection, check. 

“I value your companionship more than I'm entirely sure how to verbalize. You understand me in a way that most others don’t seem to. While your ability to make detailed creations is very helpful, it is hardly the only thing I appreciate about you. 

“For one, you make me laugh. A lot. More than I'm used to. Additionally, you can easily match the pace with which I speak, or change topics! And, you are so much smarter than you make yourself out to be,” Logan finished the spiel with a smile, genuinely proud at his ability to articulate such… sentimental things, with relative ease. Words of affirmation, check.

He snapped back to attention when Remus brought shaking hands up to Logan's chest. For a moment, he worried that Remus would shove him away. The fears dissipated when all he did was bunch the front of Logan's shirt in his hands and hold on tight. 

“Do you mean that,” his volume was low, “Or do you just want me to calm down?”

Logan tightened his grip around him and, following a motion that he'd seen Patton employ many times to great success, he rubbed up and down his back.

“I understand that it might be hard for you to trust me, but I promise I'm not lying to you. I would have to be pretty awful to do something like that, wouldn't I?”

Hesitantly, Remus nodded against his collar. A good sign, but there was one thing left he had to say. 

“And- If you need further convincing- then you should know. I love you.”

Remus stilled. He then unfisted his hands from Logan's shirt. It was an anticipatory second before he threw his arms around the logical trait and finally returned the hug. His hold was crushing, and it was the most comforting thing that Logan had ever felt. 

They were okay.

“I'm sorry I-” 

Logan didn’t let him finish the apology. 

“Don't be. You didn't know how I felt, because I hadn't communicated it in a way you understood. That is hardly your fault.”

Remus nodded again, remaining much quieter than he’d probably ever been in his entire existence.

They held each other for longer than either would like to admit, speaking softly. 

“Thanks,” was muttered against Logan’s shoulder. 

“Of course. Just so you know, I'm more than willing to do this again whenever you need reassurance.”

“It might be a lot,” his tone was turning more mischievous, more him, “Are you sure you can handle that?”

“Absolutely.”

Logan hardly minded having an opportunity to gush about Remus to Remus. Not to mention, the physical affection was even nicer than he'd imagined it being. And oh, had he imagined it. 

Remus' face returned to his usual ever-present zeal, and he ended their hug to bounce in place. 

“Great! I'm good now! We can get on with that autopsy you wanted to show me- there better be buckets of blood!”

Logan shifted his weight. 

“Maybe we should save that for another day.”

“Oh,” Remus' face fell the smallest bit, “Okay.”

Logan was quick to amend:

“By that I mean, I have something better in mind.”

 Remus curled himself up in Logan’s lap, his eyes barely focused on the TV as the side carded his hands through his tangled mop of hair. Final Destination 3 played on the television (he had assured Logan that they didn't need to see the first two, and he was mostly right), serving as an excuse for the two to drink in each other's company. 

It was right in the middle of a particularly graphic rollercoaster scene that Remus took Logan's hands from his hair to hold them, twisting around to face him.

“Is something wrong, Remus?”

“You told me you loved me,” he stated blankly. 

“Yes, I did.”

“I didn't say it back!”

“No, you didn't,” it hadn't been the most important matter at the time, really. “You don't have to say it. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the s- Mmph!”

Remus smashed their lips together, holding the sides of Logan's face (disrupting his glasses in the process) and pulling him forward harshly. 

Logan, for less than a second, was floored. And then Remus tilted his head to deepen the already heated kiss, and the situation properly clicked. Logan reciprocated, slightly uncertain in his movements, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. 

Remus smiled against him. He nipped at Logan's lower lip with sharpened teeth, eliciting a very embarrassing yelp. Logic let his lips part in response as his thoughts grew fuzzier by the second. 

The (somewhat clumsy) open-mouthed kiss lasted right until they absolutely had to break, separating for air. Neither moved very far, letting their foreheads rest against each other and all but panting for breath.

“I love you so fuckin' much, nerd,” when Remus spoke, their lips brushed ever so slightly, “Just so you know.”

“I picked up on that, yes.” 

“A little clarity never hurts, right?”

Logan chuckled at the reference to his own sentiments, but the sound was abruptly cut off when Remus kissed him properly again. 

When they broke apart, he explained how 'stupid-cute' that laugh was. And Logan, only half-joking (since when did he joke at all?), said that he’d have to do it more often.

Banter came easily to them, despite the raw undercurrent that still laced their conversation. Although, neither of them had ever found it difficult to talk; talk about the first thing that came to mind and the last thing that would come to anyone’s mind, talk about exceedingly simple nonsense and topics so intricate that they wound up sounding like nonsense, just talk.

So things would stay mostly the same. They would ramble to each other when no one else could stand to hear such disturbing things. They would sit, working side by side, running through plans and ideas and results at rapid-paced speech. They’d speak, and they would listen, when even their closest friends couldn’t manage such patience.

Only now, sometimes the rushed words might turn soft. Now, all that ranting might be more substantial than anyone would at first see. Now, they’d still listen, but leaned close together, gazes impossibly fond.

But then, on occasion, they would find that there were things far more fun than talking to do together.

@shrimp-crockpot

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 2 Notes

Here’s some notes for episode two, too, if you’d care to join me.

The “stay quiet” here is 大人し[い] otonashii, which takes the word for “adult” and adjectivizes it. It’s a common word with a variety of meanings, such as  when something is “behaving” properly and not raising a fuss (from children to computer code to a chronic disease to political forces, all sorts of things) or when something comes across as “mature” (like a clothing design or a young person). 

In this case the idea is that the dragons had chosen to “behave” and mind their own business, which (they seem to assume) led the humans into underestimating them and deciding to attack. (”Stay quiet” probably does a pretty good job of getting that across, but just to fill it out.)

This is 残念ながら zannen nagara, or “unfortunately...”. 

The reason I bring it up here, is that it’s not a particularly intimate way of speaking and leans somewhat formal—potentially implying Ilulu has no more close relatives left to give her this news (and/or maybe her family’s social position is one where other dragons had to treat them with respect).

The second line here is 平常心を保つよ、私は, which is a fairly strong declaration of intent. I kind of feel like “I need to keep a clear head” sounds less confident, like convincing herself “ok bad situation, but if I just do this I’m fine.” In contrast, the Japanese imo is more of a “[Ilulu can do what she may,] but it won’t get it to me either way.” Just a mild point of characterization I suppose.

Just for clarity, she does use the word 雄 osu here, which is the more biological term for “in a sexually reproducing species, the one that produces sperm,” rather than a more gender-based term.

The TV show, シャシャシャシャキーン Sha-sha-sha-shakiin, is a combo reference to irl Saturday-morning kids’ variety show じゃじゃじゃじゃ～ン Ja-ja-ja-jaaN and weekday-morning シャキーン! Shakiin!. 

The former’s name comes from the Japanese equivalent of ta-dah!, while the latter’s comes from the ”sound” for becoming alert, going from relaxed/sleepy/bored/etc. to “wide awake let’s go.” (though not necessarily sleep/wake related)

If you’ve seen these two emoji:

(´・ω・｀)  (｀・ω・´)

The one on the right is the “シャキーン” one, and is the contrast to the gloomy one on the left (ショボーン shobon). Or these, going from asleep to awake:

( ˘ω˘ )ｽﾔｧ…  (｀・ω・´) ｼｬｷｰﾝ

In manga and stuff you’ll also see it used for e.g. someone drawing/brandishing a sword, striking a cool poses with a lens flare, things like that.

I think it gets translated to metallic-y sounds in English fairly often in those cases (like drawing a katana, or a mecha pose), hence the translation above. 

The verb for “frolic” here is じゃれる jareru (no relation to jajaan above), which is like to play/mess around, typically in a physical sense. For example it’s used in the compound word じゃれ合う jareau, which is often used in the same way English might say “playful wrestling” about kids or animals.

Though the word Kobayashi uses is actually a different じゃれる compound, じゃれつく jaretsuku, which is like playfully/affectionately grabbing/cuddling up/etc., (also primarily regarding kids or animals). There’s a bit of overlap with some of the uses of あまえる amaeru mentioned in the last episode’s notes.

Assuming I had the visuals, I’d probably just write this as “Please not on my lap...” or similar. (Kobayashi also uses a different verb conjugation for Tohru vs. Kanna in this scene, ~つくな vs. ~つかないで; Kanna’s being more plead-y compared to Tohru’s more “cut it out!” feel, hence the “please.”)

“Contact” here is “skin-ship,” a portmanteau-esque combination of skin and kinship or relationship. It’s primarily a Japanese word (you won’t find it in English dictionaries typically), but it was apparently coined by an American speaker at an international WHO seminar in 1953 (from which a Japanese attendee brought it back to Japan and it was later popularized). 

The original use of the word was in reference specifically to parent-child physical intimacy, but as it became more widespread in usage the meaning extended to all sorts of relationships, from the platonic to the romantic. 

One reason, presumably, that the term caught on so powerfully in Japan is that it has historically been a very touch-adverse culture (at least compared to say the US), and this extends even to parents with their children after the first few years. You’d see (and still see) psychologists recommend “more skinship” to people, for example.

The relative lack of skinship may partially explain the head pat thing mentioned in last episode’s notes (e.g. when you want to touch your kid, but hugs aren’t on the menu) and things like the old “hand-holding is lewd” meme. (Note this isn’t just me getting all orientalist here; there’s been a good bit of research on the skinship gap, and how it may be shrinking, by Japanese scholars.)

This line is also a bit of foreshadowing that Tohru has realized Kobayashi’s... situation already.

The Japanese here is 心と心でつながった後は体ですよ, which I only really mention because I kinda felt like the English’s “Now...” implied she was saying they only recently ‘connected their hearts,’ which I don’t feel from the Japanese wording and would say is probably not how Tohru thinks. E.g. more of a “Our hearts are already connected; now it’s time for our bodies!” kinda thing.

This 3/3 is March 3rd, which “equals” ♀ because that’s the date of Hinamatsuri, sometimes also referred to as Girl’s Day. The third day of the third month was originally a holiday brought over with the Chinese calendar, and it morphed from a more spring/peaches holiday into it’s more girl-oriented version at some point in the Edo period.

One of the highlights of Hinamatsuri is the doll displays, as pictured in this short bit with the Saikawa sisters. There are various types of displays, but this sort of staircase arrangement is the most common I believe. Each level has a certain type of doll that goes on it, with the top level having an “emperor” and an “empress” doll—which is the pair Riko replaces with dolls of herself and Kanna.

There’s some similarities between these doll displays and stereotypical Christmas trees: a family is likely to have a set of ornaments/dolls they mostly reuse each year, you put them up some time in advance of the actual holiday, then get lazy and leave them up too long put them away for a year after it’s over. A lot of businesses and such will put up displays as well.

“The judge in the underworld” is left vague here and isn’t a specific reference to anything, but is generally in line with the typical “image” of what happens after you die (setting aside actual religious beliefs) in Japan. 

Please see the documentary series Hoozuki no Reitetsu for more info.

As of right now in the anime, Ilulu has only shown up twice, and only once of those when Kobayashi was alone. The implication seems to be that there have been other Ilulu encounters that we haven’t seen. 

Also, for clarity, the Japanese is 私が一人の時にいつもイルルは来るから, which is more of a “whenever I’m alone Ilulu shows up” than a “she only shows up when I’m alone.” (The English could sorta be read either way I think?)

This bit is それだけじゃないって、争い以外もあると思ってくれているからだ。私はそんなトールを信じているから…　だからその為にイルルと和解したい

The main point of contention I have with this English is that it implies Kobayashi wants Tohru and Ilulu to make up. However, I’d say this is more Kobayashi wanting to come to terms with Ilulu herself (and just by extension Tohru/the other dragons/maybe other humans). 

That is, by making peace between herself the human and the “hostile” dragon Ilulu, she’d be helping prove Tohru’s belief correct—and she has faith in Tohru that it is (see also last season finale).  

(Notably while Tohru is Chaos faction herself, there’s not really been another Chaos dragon yet to be convinced like this. Kanna is no-faction, Fafnir is technically no-faction even if Chaos-ish, Quetzalcoatl is an observer, Elma is Harmony, and Tohru’s father is an exception on multiple levels.)

Without getting too deep into the “why,” one quick thing I’ll point out is that she says 和解したい wakai shitai, not してほしい shite hoshii or させたい sasetai etc., meaning it’s something she wants to do herself, not want/make someone else do. Generally speaking you can’t use the ~たい “want to” form for anyone but yourself (you don’t know what anyone else is thinking, after all), unless quoting them, asking, or in the ~がる “seems to want to” form.

This is a 防犯ブザー bouhan buzaa, a crime-prevention buzzer, also known as a personal or self-defense alarm. They emit a very loud sound when activated. The idea is you, well, use it like she does here, when someone is trying to do a crime to you.

Since most Japanese children walk to school, it’s extremely common for these devices to given to students (either by parents or a gov’t body). It’s technically recommended for adults to carry them too, though the advent of the mobile phone has driven down carry rates.

This particular one was probably purchased in episode four of season one, if you want to rewatch and see why!

This is 私にぶつけたい気持ちでもあるの？in the Japanese.

The verb for “tell” is ぶつける butsukeru, an evocative word meaning ~to slam against (somewhat similar to “vent” in English when used with emotions/feelings). 

The “something” is 気持ち kimochi, ~emotion/feeling/thought.

So the Japanese here feels a lot more expressive than "something you want to tell me,” I would say (that could just as easily be a translation of 話したいこと). That said it’s not an easy thing to express in English within the confines of the format here, especially if you want to keep the “target = ‘me’” part.

It might feel somewhat like “You got something bottled up you wanna hit me with?”, though I doubt if I’d use that either.

As a side note, the manga has Kobayashi say an extra line after this, about being the “main tank” to take her “hate” (Japanese for “aggro” in MMOs). 

A small note that “that girl and that boy” is あの子とあの子 ano ko to ano ko, so no gender specification in the Japanese (it’s a good language for talking about people without specifying a gender!).

“Next time” here is 今度 kondo, which is an interesting word because you can situationally use it for “recently,” “this time,” “next time,” or “soon.” 

The reason I bring it up here is the English “next time,” personally, leaves me thinking “Was there a previous time? What ‘next’ do you mean?”—just a heads up that that’s not really an issue in the original line.

Also: this whole extended scene with Kobayashi saving Ilulu is one of the “many senses” mentioned in the episode title. (see also episode one notes re ikemen)

As an aside, this "play” is じゃれ合い jareai, the noun form of the jareau that was mentioned in the above “frolic” note.

If you were wondering: “Do dragons use paper?”, the word here is 形骸化 keigai-ka, (almost) lit. ~reduced to bones, meaning something that once was strong/effective is now basically just a formality. It’s similar to the phrase “dead letter” in reference to old laws that aren’t really enforced anymore.

So two potential points of ~lore relevance~ here: 1) the rules probably used to be enforced, 2) we have no evidence (either way, from this) that they actually have them on paper somewhere.

こりゃトールの父ちゃんは本格的に優しかったみたいだな

This might just be me reading too much into the English (again), but one difference in nuance between these two lines is that the English has Kobayashi implying Tohru’s dad “seemed” kind (which implies he’s not really kind, just kind in contrast to this villain), while the Japanese is more taking this as evidence that Tohru’s dad was actually being kind (see also last season finale).

For those wondering if the みたい in that line would imply a “seems”: it sort of does, but it applies across the whole observation here. I.e. “seems Tohru’s father was genuinely nice” vs. “making Tohru’s father seem genuinely nice” (which I’d guess would probably use 優しく見えてくる or something). 

When you see “underestimate” in anime, most of the time it’s なめる nameru. It comes from the verbified archaic adjective 無礼し nameshi, meaning a combination of looking down on, acting rude towards, etc., and uses the same characters as “rude” (though often written in hiragana/katakana).

It also is a homonym of the verb “to lick,” so “Don’t underestimate humans” sounds identical to “Don’t lick humans.”

“Functional member of society” is 社会人 shakaijin, ~lit. person of society, which is a very commonly used word to refer to basically anyone who is an active member of society. It includes homemakers, so it’s not strictly “has a job at a company,” but in many contexts it’s used like “people with jobs” versus “students and NEETs.”

(Not that there’s anything wrong with the translation, just some extra context.)

A technique reminiscent of this shadow puppet silhouette style was also used in Hyouka, another Kyoani show and one directed by the late Series Director Takemoto Yasuhiro. 

I kind of feel like yelling “Stay with me!” at someone injured is something you do when they’re in danger of fading away, not when they’re waking back up? Maybe that’s just me.

The Japanese is お気を確かに o-ki wo tashika ni, a polite (since Tohru almost always speaks kinda formally to Kobayashi, as part of the maid thing) way of saying “pull/hold it together,” and is used in a variety of situations.

Kanna’s line is a question (e.g. like “are you okay?”) in the Japanese here, whereas the English sounds more like something you say to someone who’s injured to try to reassure them. 

This line is その子離れようとしないんです sono ko hanareyou to shinai n desu.

The English is a pretty literal translation: hanareru is the verb for leaving/separating (in some senses), and the ~you conjugation means “try to ~”. However, that conjugation also has a second use in just indicating intent—especially when used in the negative, like here—so e.g. “She didn’t want to leave your side,” or “She wouldn’t leave your side at all.”

（◎Д◎）

Just in case: this is an emoji for expressing shock. 

One thing that is left out of the English in this line is the だけ dake, “only.” 

So Kobayashi’s not necessarily surprised at this by itself, but in contrast to the fact that Tohru says she probably can hide her claws/tail (so why not this too?). 

The base phrase Tohru is saying here is 私たちの仲じゃないですか, which roughly means “that’s just our relationship,” and is used commonly when being thanked for doing a favor for someone close. It’s similar in meaning to something like “hey of course, no problem, I know you’d do the same for me.”

Tohru puts a little spin on it by adding the “eternal” to make it 永遠の仲, which is a separate phrase that means probably what you’d think it means.

This quick cut to Tohru’s feet and the light “foot pop” motion... I have a hard time believing it’s anything but the director trying to give some subtle “goodbye kiss when leaving for work” vibes, even if they aren’t literally kissing. Just me?

Here she says あのトール ano Tohru, lit. “that Tohru,“ which in this sort of context carries a meaning similar to using an italicized “that” in English: not just any Tohru, but that Tohru, the famous one. The implication is that yes indeed Tohru is well-known among other dragons—and known to be quite strong and merciless.

It’s not a particularly big deal, but technically this is 人間と, i.e. Living with.

The ball hands thing is generally thought of as “Doraemon hands” in Japan. Doraemon gets the name from the food “dorayaki,” but “Dora” is also how you pronounce the first two syllables in “Dragon” (ドラゴン doragon).

Keep this in mind.

挨拶 (あいさつ) aisatsu, often translated as “greeting(s)”, is a lot bigger of a thing culturally for Japan than it might be for where you live. Though translated as “greetings” it also includes farewells and more. Basically a general term for “in X situation, say Y” style semi-set phrases.

In more traditionally minded companies, for example, employees are often expected to give a rote ohayou gozaimasu when they arrive (even if they think no one is around to hear it), and may get chewed out for not doing so or half-assing it. Then when passing someone in the hallway etc., an otsukare-sama desu, and yet another phrase when leaving for the day. Also the ittekimasu and itterasshai (when leaving home/saying bye to them) or tadaima and okaeri (returning home/welcoming back) that probably many anime-watchers are familiar with. Even itadakimasu is an aisatsu. 

Obviously every culture utilizes “greetings” like this, but in Japan they’re pretty heavily ritualized and treated as a cornerstone of human relations, a key part of showing respect for your fellow humans (even people you hate!) and ensuring the smooth working of society. It’s not the thing they chose to have Tohru put first in her “living with humans [in Japan]” notebook for nothing!

The English “the” is a popular word to use in Japanese as an intensifier, similar to how it’s used in a sentence like “this isn’t just an [example], it’s the [example]!” 

It’s usually pronounced “za” and often written that way in katakana (ザ) for this usage. (If you type “za” in a Japanese IME, most will offer up “the” as one of the options to convert the text to, even.) 

The word she says here is 喝 katsu, which, in this sense, is a stereotypical thing for a Zen teacher to say to a student as a stand-in for explaining some deep Zen concept that words can’t describe. So here, it’s kinda like “Yes this may seem contradictory, but really it’s just too complicated for you! No more questions!” 

Obviously that’s oversimplified and it’s used in other ways too (see Saikawa’s father during the sports festival), but just for the purposes of this joke, there you have it.

The word used in the Japanese here is 建前 tatemae. If you’ve ever studied any Japanese, you’ve likely heard about honne vs. tatemae, your inner feelings vs. the front you put up for social reasons. 

People new to the language are sometimes prone to approaching that distinction with “well why doesn’t everyone just honne all the time, why play games?”, but of course almost everyone splits themselves like this. You probably hate your boss, but you also probably don’t tell them that to their face to avoid getting fired. Or maybe you have some family members you can’t stand, but act nice around anyway because it’s not worth the trouble to start fights. 

Japan just put names to the idea, and maybe leans a little more toward encouraging tatemae in more situations.

This is せいぜい悩むんですね.

せいぜい seizei as an adverb means doing something to utmost extent one is capable of. You’ve likely heard it from a villain somewhere saying something like “Struggle all you like, wahaha!”. 

Though it’s not necessarily down-talky like that, in modern times that is the trend (you can use it for yourself no problem, but if used to talk about someone else’s actions it may come off as belittling). Tohru, as one of the strongest beings in the setting and with the pride to match, uses it a lot.

悩む nayamu is to worry, fret, ruminate over (some difficulty etc.).

The sentence in general is one that is highly context dependent, but here it’s Tohru thinking to herself, somewhat impressed, that Ilulu is actually putting serious thought into the question of what she wants to do with her life. 

And, as the background suggests, finding it surprisingly adorable/admirable; up until just a few days ago, Ilulu was known as one of the most extremist Chaos faction dragons obsessed with nothing but destruction, yet look at her now. In a way, Tohru’s taken over an older sister kind of role for her.

(For the curious, if the ね was dropped or swapped to a よ here, that would imply she was directing the comment “at” Ilulu, rather than saying it in observation.)

The word here is 契る chigiru, which usually means to swear/pledge (e.g. swear a pact, pledge your love), but can also be a somewhat fancy word for having sex, especially of a married couple.

I feel like I personally would have used more of a euphemism for the translation.

The phrase here is ダメの助 dame-no-suke, where dame is no/bad/can’t do/useless, and (no)suke is a common ending to first names; both actual names and sort of on-the-spot nicknames; someone looking sleepy might be called a 寝坊助 nebou-suke in the same way as “sleepyhead.”

Or, as here, sticking to the end of things for comedic effect or as indication of a panicked/confused thought process.

（ ° ρ ° ）

Just in case: this one is also expressing shock, but a kind of dumbfounded shock. The ρ is a drooling, slack-jawed mouth.

In the next episode preview they talk about where Ilulu will sleep, since they don’t have room for another bed. Ilulu wants to sleep in the closet—or more specifically, the 押し入れ oshi-ire, which is a particular closet layout you’ll find in many Japanese bedrooms. 

The typical difference is that an 押し入れ was originally designed for 和室 washitsu, traditional-style Japanese rooms with tatami floors, primarily as storage space for folded-up futon/blankets/pillows, as you would put those away during the day to free up space. Thus they typically are rather wide, mildly deep, and have a waist-height, solid horizontal divider capable of supporting a lot of weight. 

They actually are pretty okay for sleeping in if you’re not claustrophobic or tall.

Anyway, I bring this up because you know who else very famously sleeps in one of these? That’s right: Doraemon.

[abyssmail]

Caerul Design Notes,

because I’ve actually put a lot of thought into creating Caerul’s aesthetic and I’m lowkey really proud of it.  I won’t get into her actual character concept/personality/backstory/etc. since this got super long, but this is how/why I made the choices I did with regards to her name and visual design!

▶ Caerul’s color scheme started off way bluer (hence the name “Caerul,” from caeruleus/a/um - “blue”/“cerulean”/“azure”/“of the sky/sea” in Latin) and less saturated, but when I gave her a (dead) twin with a red theme, I wanted them to look more alike and made both of their hair purple (although I haven’t actually done more than sketch Roseus before... he’s got purple hair and red eyes).  Purple’s my favorite color, and unnatural hair colors don’t seem to be uncommon in Orth, so why not, right?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   The red elements in Caerul’s design are meant to represent her honoring Roseus!

All of the base colors I use when drawing Caerul! They all end up looking a bit darker once they’re shaded though.

▶ As well as shamelessly using one of my favorite Latin words (I’m a Classics major, okay ;;>~>), I also tried to pick a name that sounded similar to the ones that already exist in-universe.  This was actually fairly tricky, since as far as I can tell the names in Made in Abyss have a WIDE variety of influences.  Some of them seem passably Japanese-sounding (Riko, Jiruo, Kiyui, Nanachi) disclaimer I bring dishonor to my ancestors and know 0 Japanese so this is just about vibez, others seem Western-ish (Reg, Nat, Lyza, Prushka).  Some are fairly whimsical (Shiggy, Maruruk, Mitty) while others are more mysterious and fantastic (Any of the White Whistles besides maybe Lyza).  The only common thread I could really settle on was a general fantasy feeling to all of the names.  I tried to capture that nebulous vibe with Caerul’s name, although with something so vague and subjective it’s pretty much impossible to say if I was entirely successful.  I named her siblings afterward with other Latin color words and ended up with a RGB theme lol.

▸ By the way, “Caerul” is pronounced “KAI-rool.”  It rhymes with “Hyrule.”  The ae diphthong makes an “eye” sound in Latin #TheMoreYouKnow

▸ “Caducalae” is a portmanteau of “caducae alae,” literally “falling/doomed/futile wings” in Latin (again), playing off how pointless it is to be able to fly when the Curse of the Abyss is a thing.  Originally, they weren’t supposed to work at all outside of the Abyss, but I decided that was boring for crossovers/other verses so I scrapped it.  I’m not too happy with the name since it doesn’t fit the naming scheme of the canon relics (there is no precedent at all for gratuitous Latin in Made in Abyss, which is a good thing because it’s overused in fantasy, but Latin was the only thing I was good at in high school sooooo... ^^;), but I didn’t like any of my other ideas that much, either.  “Wings of Futility” feels more canon, but it’s also kinda depressing :/

▶ I’ve mentioned before that Caerul’s build is based off of mine for art reference purposes (it’s convenient to just look in the mirror while making the pose I want =w=)b), but another reason she’s so short is that I didn’t have to make the caducalae quite as big since she’s smaller, so she can actually go indoors if she’s careful.

▶ Long hair isn’t super practical with mechanical wings with lots of bits for it to get caught in, but Caerul idolizes Lyza, so I left her hair as long as I could reasonably get away with.

▶ I heavily referenced the canon Made in Abyss character designs for Caerul’s clothing so she would fit into the world, but made some alterations to make everything more personal to her and accommodate for her wings.  In general, I lightened everything up, since she takes a bunch of short, quick trips rather than lengthy expeditions.  Her gloves, for instance, are loosely inspired by the ones we see many delvers wearing in the manga/anime, but are less heavy-duty and are convertible mittens/fingerless gloves for better dexterity with handling letters and such.  

The best close up of the gloves I could find was actually a screenshot of the aftermath Reg & Riko’s orb piercer encounter, but I didn’t want to have to tag this for gore, so you get Lyza ^^; There’s a filter over Caerul here so you can see the glove better which is why she looks kinda washed out :/

▶ Her coat is heavily influenced by Jiruo’s, since he’s the only Moon Whistle we’ve seen in canon.  

yeah, uhhhh, sorry to yoink your style my dude ^^;

▸ Caerul’s has a different color palette, a simpler lapel border, an extra set of outer pockets, and three separate panels in the back that button around her wings so she can put it on! I haven’t drawn it, but her shirt works similarly.  

This is my favorite detail about her design tbh... it’s just really satisfying what a logical solution it is for some reason???  the original doodle is off rotting somewhere in my Modern European History notes, but I tried to recreate it just as sloppily here =w=)b

▶ Caerul’s corset isn’t just a painful fashion choice - it’s actually meant to be a(n admittedly heavily stylized) brace for her back against the weight of her wings.  

▶ Since Caerul can’t wear a backpack with the wings, I had to get creative with storage options for her.  In addition to an undetermined number of pockets on the inside of her coat, I gave her these two pouches on her thighs to carry more stuff.  

I wonder how buff your quads could get carrying a significant amount of weight there...

▸ Messenger bags don’t seem super practical for delving, so I didn’t design a specific one for her to carry all the time, but Caerul does use them on occasion.  Even with that, though, she still has far less carrying capacity than the average delver, which is a problem she has to deal with when carrying out her duties!

▶ The wings/caducalae were by far the most difficult part of designing Caerul, and it took several redesigns over 2+ years before I was finally happy with them.  Their first design was deliberately far simpler in the interest of having to draw them a zillion times, but they ended up clunky and unwieldy looking: 

chonky o~O

▸ The final design is MUCH more of a pain to draw (in fact, a lot of the time I cheat and just copy and paste them from drawings I’ve already done), but I think it looks much sleeker and more “functional”.  

I also got better at making my diagrams look slightly more authentic ;0

▸ I knew I wanted jetpack-style thrusters to be a component of the wings to somewhat justify the shit I wanted Caerul to be able to pull with them (especially to eliminate the need for accounting for the damage landing suddenly could do to her ankles), but incorporating them proved to be one of the biggest problems of the design.  At one point, they were going to have a whole separate attachment point on her back, but I finally just made them an offshoot of the first “joint,” as you can see in the final design.  

A really messy intermediate caducalae sketch.  The weird double pentagon shape was meant to be the part of the relic actually fused to Caerul’s back, but I scrapped that too when I scrapped the separate limbs for the thrusters.

▸ Speaking of the joints, they’re all balls so they can rotate all over and I don’t have to fuss too much about how they move.  Likewise, the frame is metal, but I treat it like it’s kind of flexible, so Caerul can “flex” the wings open and closed.  These wings are hard enough to draw period okay I’m giving myself every excuse to be inconsistent af on purpose.

▸ The caducalae have some “bonus” features that I’ve sketched out, but that Caerul hasn’t unlocked yet, and won’t for a while.  

owo what’s this?

▸ For the wings, I think my biggest inspirations were some of the mechier Cardfight!! Vanguard dragon units (although I don’t remember which cards specifically) and the energy wings on the ninth-generation knightmares in Code Geass R2.

I’ve made a lot of OCs, and since I don’t like to use faceclaims, I’ve done a fair amount of character designing.  I don’t think I’ve ever spent as much time or had as much fun with any of them as I have with Caerul, though!  OCs aren’t always super well accepted in fandom roleplay, but the Made in Abyss community has been super welcoming and I’ve had a blast.  Thanks for listening to me gush about Caerul if you got this far, and thank you to everyone who’s interacted with her!  

The original sketch of Caerul from back in 2017.  How far we’ve come :’D

[nitr0glycer1ne]

Ducktober/Duckvember Day 8 - Ship

Hooooo there it is!!! Some Drakepad!!! Well, some pre-relationship Drakepad, but still! And also I get to write Lena and Gos for the first time! My headcanon is that Gosalyn is a year younger than Webby (HDL's age), and that Lena "is" a year older than Webby. Gos and Violet are the same age, but Violet skipped a grade. Also I mainly took inspiration from the original Gosalyn, though I did make her a bit more done with her dads maybe??? Please enjoy!

“Uuuuugh!” “What’s going on, Gos?”

The redhead let her head slump on the table, while Webby gave her a puzzled look. It was rather unusual to see Gosalyn look so discouraged; the fiery girl was usually the first to motivate other people when they felt down, and was a seemingly endless well of energy. But Gosalyn had seemed a bit distant since the morning. Since they were a year older, Webby and Violet didn’t have classes with her; but when the three of them and Lena had met up before classes, Gosalyn had already seemed a bit down.

“It’s my dad.” she mumbled. “And Launchpad.” “Are they arguing about whether or not you should be allowed to stay up past nine again?” Violet asked, finishing her yogurt. “No, thank God.” Gosalyn answered, her face still again the table. Lena, who was a grade above Violet and Webby, looked at her with a small smile. “Then come on, spill the beans."

Drake had bonded with her and Violet’s dads, and while she considered him a friend, she also loved teasing him, since he was very easy to tick off.

“It’s just that they won’t go out together! It’s annoying!” Gosalyn complained, lifting her head from the table and rolling her eyes. “They look at each other all lovey-dovey, Launchpad basically lives in our guest room and acts like he’s also my dad, and when they argue it’s like seeing an old married couple!”

She almost added that they fought crime together, but she wisely decided to keep quiet about that last fact.

“It’s true that I did hear Launchpad talking to Dewey about the many ways in which your dad is amazing and looks dashing and stuff for half an hour the other day.” Webby remembered as Lena snickered and Violet nodded in understanding. “It was sweet, but also pretty funny to see the exact moment when Dewey’s face lost all expression. He does that a lot when he’s bored.” “See!” Gosalyn roared. “That’s why I’m talking about! There’s nothing not romantic about that! But when I tell dad that he should date Launchpad, he gets super pissed off!” “Hmm…” Violet lost herself in her thoughts for a moment, gathering them. “Maybe you should try a different approach, if direct confrontation was inefficient.” “I’m sure I could make some sort of love potion.” Lena offered, eating the last piece of her fruit salad. “They’re already in love, dummy!” Webby smiled and affectionately ruffled her best friend’s hair. “But I have another idea, and I’m sure you’ll like it!” “You do? Really?”

Webby nodded, offering her friend the brightest smile she could. Gosalyn couldn’t help but be a little bit scared.

-

“Ahem. Ladies, thank you for being here today!” “You literally dragged us here right after school.” Lena reminded Webby, who coughed a little. “Details, details, my dear Lena. Anyways, let’s kick off Operation Drakepad!” “Drake… pad?” Violet asked, tilting her head. “Is that a portmanteau of my dad and Launchpad’s name?” Gosalyn asked in disbelief. “That’s so… cheesy. Exactly like them. I love it!” “Thank you, Miss Mallard.” Webby bowed, pleased. “But I’m not the one who came up with the name. Meet my associate in romantic cases, Hueeeeey Duck!”

Like a proud mother, Webby pointed her two indexes at the duckling who was standing right next to her.

“Why does he have to be involved?” Gosalyn asked. She didn’t mind the Duck triplets at all; but she was curious as to why Webby had decided Huey would be, in her words, “a precious ally”. “Oh, because he was the other brilliant mind behind Operation Fendra!” “Fendra?” Lena repeated. “Huey, seriously?” “Hey!” Huey replied defensively. “It was a great name! Short, efficient, straight to the point!” “Silence!” Gosalyn yelled. “Was that operation about making two idiots in love realize that they’re in love?”

Huey and Webby looked at each other, suddenly embarrassed.

“… kind of?” the girl answered. “OK, and did it work?” “Weeeell…” Huey hesitated. “Not really, but we didn’t really have a backup plan for the eventuality of one of them being a spy sent by Mark Beaks to infiltrate Gyro’s laboratory, so it… wasn’t a failure either?”

Lena, Violet and Gosalyn looked at each other in disbelief. Gosalyn was starting to look even more disappointed than during lunch, so Webby was quick to do her best to avoid further damage:

“But there’s no reason it shouldn’t work for Drake and Launchpad! I mean, I don’t think either of them own a laboratory? Or that they’re an enemy of Mark Beak?”

Gosalyn thought back to the time her father had investigated a case involving the egotistical and childish owner of Waddle, but she remained silent. After all, Launchpad had been investigating alongside Darkwing Duck, and there was absolutely no way the loyalty the pilot had towards her father was anything but genuine.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” “Then the plan should be an absolute success, I guarantee it!” Webby giddily promised, although Huey looked a bit more skeptic. “And what is than plan?” Violet inquired, curious. “Will you tailor it to the targets’ personalities and interests, or is it something you can apply to every situation and soon-to-be couple?” “A mix of both.” Huey answered. “The idea is to set them up for a date, and to try to make it a date they’ll enjoy.” “So, Gos!” Webby turned her attention to her redhead friend, who seemed a bit lost, somewhere between tempted by the idea and being in utter disbelief at the somewhat surreal scene that was unfolding in Webby’s room. “What do you think your dad would like for an ideal, romantic, sure-to-sweep-Launchpad-off-his-feet date?”

Gosalyn did have an idea, but she wasn’t sure making the date Darkwing Duck theme was going to help set a romantic tone- it would just be like one of their regular Darkwing Duck marathons.

-

“It’s really nice for your boss to invite us for dinner.”

Launchpad, Drake and Gosalyn were in the pilot’s car, an old thing that had seen better days but that Launchpad lovingly took care of. The trio was headed towards the McDuck manor, the two adults sitting in the front while Gosalyn was in the back, seemingly innocently reading comics. However, her mind was focused on what awaited her father and his almost-boyfriend that night.

“In fact, it’s almost too nice.” Drake continued suspiciously. “I mean, he does owe us for the heroic help I provided when those aliens invaded us, but still, isn’t it a bit weird for Scrooge McDuck to-” “Daaad.” Gosalyn rolled her eyes. “Geez, can’t you enjoy a nice gesture from an old man?” “Gosalyn is right!” Launchpad nodded. “Mr McD is nicer than people think. He took me in when I didn’t have a place to stay, you know!” “Mmmh.” Drake nodded. “Still…” “You worry too much!” Gosalyn scolded, putting her comic aside. “That’s what too much crime fighting will do to you.” “What?! There’s never enough crime fighting, young lady!” “Whatever. Just… let Darkwing in the car for tonight, okay? Be Drake and have fun.” “Yeah, DW! It’s gonna be a fun evening!” “Launchpad, don’t call him that!”

They had been so busy bickering that they barely noticed they had arrived. Launchpad almost crashed the car when parking it in front of the garage, but the three of them arrived in one piece in front of the manor’s entrance. Out of habit, Launchpad was about to open the door, but Drake gently grabbed his wrist and rang instead. A surprised Mrs Beakley opened them.

“Launchpad? What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be coming back here before Sunday.” “What?” it was the pilot’s turn to be puzzled. “We’re here for dinner?” Drake clarified, suspicious. “The one Scrooge McDuck invited us to?” “Dinner? Mr McDuck hasn’t told me-” “Oh hey, hi Launchpad! Hi Mr Mallard! Hi Gos!”

Webby had sled right in front of her grandmother, offering the trio the warmest and most welcoming smile she could. Mrs Beakley looked at her granddaughter, suspicion growing more and more obvious on her face, but the girl ignored the heavy gaze she felt on her back:

“How wonderful of you to join us for a magical evening sure to please your minds and your palate! Please, come inside.”

Launchpad stepped inside the house, oblivious, but Drake kept looking at Webby as if she had grown a second head. He then glanced at his daughter, but she raised her shoulders, the very picture of innocence. Sighing, Drake followed his friend. When Gosalyn entered the manor, she saw Mrs Beakley was talking with Lena in a hushed tone, looking somewhat displeased but mostly perplexed. The redhead understood Webby hadn’t told her grandmother about their plan, probably because she would have done everything in her power to dissuade the kids from putting it to execution.

And, to be honest, Gosalyn couldn’t blame her.

But the plan was now in motion, for better or for worse. Gosalyn had, of course, been heavily helping Webby and Huey with it; but in the end, the last steps were entirely up to them, and she truly hoped it would succeed. She would never forgive herself if her meddling somehow hurt her father and Launchpad’s relationship; but she truly believed neither of them would do the first move, and that someone had to intervene, for their own good.

She met with Violet and Lena, who had apparently managed to convince Mrs Beakley to let them handle the situation if the way the housekeeper had gone upstairs while muttering “children…” half annoyed and half affectionately was any indication.

“And now, we wait.”

 -

“Woah! Did you change the decoration? The kitchen didn’t look like that last week!”

While Launchpad looked around the room, amazed, Drake felt like he had stepped into one of those trashy novels oozing with over the top romanticism. Every surface available was covered in rose petals and candles, save for the table at the center of the room, covered with a pink tablecloth. Soft jazz music was playing, and strings of small paper hearts had been taped to the wall.

One of the Duck triplets – Drake still had trouble telling them apart, this one wore a white shirt with a red bow tie – greeted them, a napkin thrown over his arm.

“Ah, welcome, welcome! Your table awaits, gentlemen.”

The duckling guided them to the table, which was around two meters away from them, and let the two adults sit down. Launchpad was still looking around, marvelling at the gentle and cosy atmosphere the candles gave the room, while Drake listened to him, feeling a smile blossom on his beak.

It was when Webby brought them a menu, one that only had a single option available – labelled as “Cupid’s Choice” and whose main dish was a plate of meatball spaghetti – that everything clicked in Drake’s head. Gosalyn’s enthusiasm when she had told them of the dinner, the way she had been looking at him and Launchpad all day long, Beakley’s confusion, the ridiculously romantic decoration of the room-

Gosalyn may not have been his biological child, but she was definitely his clever daughter. She took so much after him, and after Launchpad too, now that he thought about it.

And as a complete understanding of the situation hit him, Drake laughed, taking Launchpad by surprise.

“DW- uh, I mean, Drake, what’s going on?” “Oh, nothing, nothing, don’t worry.” Drake reassured his friend, looking at the emerald eyes he could get lost in, noticing for the first time how close their hands were, resting on the table. “I’m just looking forward to this dinner.”

-------

And of course the dinner was a success!! Let me know if I should write it! I'm just weak for the Mallard-McQuack family......... and Webby and Huey's matrimonial agency of sorts... and Team Magic befriending Gos.... I hope I did this pairing justice, it's my favorite DT17 ship!!

[the-prophet-lemonade]

Hi, it's me!💍I've been rereading everything in anticipation of chapter 10, like I promised, and I was wondering about everyone's super names. In universe, I assume the vigilantes picked their own names, but what about the Idris supers? And how long did it take you to come up with theirs, what made you decide on certain names? Did you end up going back to change any halfway through writing?

hello darling !!!!! i’m very excited about chapter 10, i think it’s gonna be a good one :D

the super names were probably the very first thing i came up with after i’d decided on my concept ... so, they all came long before the plot and i don’t think they changed very much after i settled on them - but a lot of thought went into most of them so i’m happy to explain!

alec | sentinel: i wanted to pick something stoic and powerful for alec, but something that reflected his presence and his willingness to watch over people from above. the name represents his protectiveness and his enduring nature, reflects his role as a soldier and a guard, and also has angelic connotations (to tie into sh canon and/or jace being arkangel) ... lastly, the word sentinel also ties into a particular line from javert’s solo (”stars”) in les miserables that he sings on a rooftop edge in the movie and that is a Very Relevant song ok, you should look up the lyrics

magnus | nightlock: i went back and forth on a couple ideas for magnus’ name, but i wanted something magical and colourful and magician-esque for him. in my mind, nightlock is a portmanteau of “deadly nightshade” and “warlock” (although the “-lock” suffix could also come from “hemlock”) . deadly nightshade is obviously very dangerous and poisonous, and causes delirium and hallucinations (which is reflected in magnus’ ability to manipulate the world around him), but the main symbolism i wanted from it is the flower’s colour - that very deep, plutonic purple matches very well with the fic aesthetic. in addition, a little historical relevance: socrates was executed through consumption of hemlock for “questioning the gods” and entertaining ideas of political insurgency and the pursuit of justice so that’s ... also very relevant.

jace | arkangel: this was the first name i settled on for jace and liked it a lot, so stuck with it. it has heavenly and angelic connotations (obviously) and is a name imbued with a great deal of omniscient power (representative of jace’s op abilities) and some golden colour symbolism too. i chose the “ark” spelling rather than “arch” because i liked the harder consonant sound, it works better for jace’s personality. also, jace can fly lol 

clary | muse: clary was the one i went back and forth on a lot when i was picking her alias ... originally, she was going to have fire elemental powers like johnathan, but i decided against it, because pyrokinesis is a very violent and erratic power, and whilst clary is unpredictable and scrappy, i don’t think she’s intentionally destructive. i think her artistic manifestation suits her well and is a very adaptive ability, which matches her personality better. aNYWAY the other names i considered for her were “firestorm”, “sunfire”, and “athena” but i went with muse to match her powers. also, it’s a single syllable so sounds better in tandem with arkangel (three syllables) considering they’re often mentioned together in the text and i think lots about rhythm and sounds!

simon | 8-bit: i wanted something super geeky and given the time period, the snes and the gameboy had just been released by nintendo, so nintendocore and 8bit music was becoming a thing! plus, as simon is a technopath, i wanted a name to both represent his powers and represent simon’s playfulness and naivety when it comes to superhero business hahaha my alternative choices for simon were “cyber”, “shockwave”, and “electro” but those were all too boring

luke | wolfsbane: i considered “sabretooth” for luke but there’s a pretty well-known xmen hero by that name, so i went with wolfsbane. again, wolfsbane is the name of a poisonous dark purple plant (like nightshade), so there’s a direct link to magnus there, which is highly relevant as the two of them have history and used to be vigilante partners in the 1980s (which we haven’t yet uncovered in the fic). there’s also another member of the xmen called wolfsbane who, funnily enough, can turn into a werewolf, much like luke haha

maia | veil: this is another one i chose instantly and has everything to do with maia’s powers. now, maia as a person is pretty abrasive and unforgiving and unapologetic and doesn’t hesitate to get physical if need be (e.g. punching jace that one time lmfao), so i wanted to give her a power the exact opposite of this feisty outward persona. i think maia is an intensely vulnerable person who puts up a lot of walls and thick skin around her heart to protect herself and hide her feelings, so i wanted her to have a power that was cerebral, but also one that tied into this vulnerability and her unwillingness to let people see her real self. so, that’s why she can manipulate illusions, and that’s why her alias is veil. 

catarina | witchlight: i don’t know if this one has been said outright in the fic yet, but it’s in between the lines if you read close enough! we’ll get a bit of cat in the upcoming ch 10, but magnus/nightlock has already mentioned her both by name and alias in past chapters. cat’s powers are healing magic (surprise surprise) and her name comes from a type of crystal that glows in the hands of good-intentioned and good-hearted people ... very much in-line with the phial of galadriel/light of earendil from lord of the rings if i’m honest (and a giant nerd) ... witchlight as a stone is also found in sh canon! in addition, witchlight has this great simultaneous feeling of antithesis and parallelism to “nightlock” and i don’t really know why but they sound good together! there’s a sense of balance between their names, don’t you think?

dot | salem: another one like cat, you’ll have to look between the lines for this one, but she’ll be cropping up a bit more and has a very crucial role to play in a later chapter. this matches cat’s witch motif but with darker connotations (reflective of dot’s superpowers) when taken in the context of the salem witch trials and therefore has links to the fic’s themes of persecution. however, the biblical connotations of the name “salem” are to do with peace, so that’s nice.

lydia | apex: this one is very literal - the apex of something is the pinnacle, the top, the best. lydia is one of idris’ best supers and her power is super strength, so go figure

valentine | silver tongue: we haven’t seen valentine use her powers of persuasion yet, and they’ve only been hinted at (and it seems that johnathan is doing most of the grunt work, golly gosh i wonder why that is and what it means and whether it matters for a later part of the plot ... hmm). this one’s pretty straightforward too though: someone with a silver tongue is someone who is eloquent and persuasive at speaking, and valentine is known to be a good orator as we know. honestly though i just think of that simpson’s episode where lisa finds out jebediah springfield has a silver tongue and that has nOTHING to do with this so idk why i brought it up lmfao

there are of course a few others: ragnor, aline, helen, raj, and victor, but i haven’t named them ... i think aline has electrical/lightning powers, and raj can teleport, but i don’t think i settled on what helen and victor can do, so i just didn’t bother mentioning their aliases. izzy and raphael (yet to appear) are also supers but don’t have code names ... and i’m also curious what maryse and robert’s powers and aliases might be! there’s also sebastian/johnathan who does have an alias but it hasn’t been revealed in the story yet so ... no spoilers!

your note about idris supers is interesting and honestly i hadn’t considered it ... i imagine idris supers do get to pick their aliases but they’d have to be ‘corporate-approved’ by higher ups. lydia (apex) and alec (sentinel) both have very strong and powerful names, whilst clary (muse) matches her powers, and jace (arkangel) is an odd one because the name reflects his wings rather than his adoptive muscle memory, and obviously he’s been a super longer than he’s had his wings so i guess that’s just a plothole hahahaha (maybe he had a different super name before he got his wings and much to alec and izzy’s annoyance, decided to change his name after he got his new gear? who knows)

[charminglatina]

THIS IS AN EXTRA LONG POST!

I have written two previous posts about why Bughead is one of the worst ships on television right now (check the Anti-Bughead tag on this site and you will be able to see them). Like I stated in my previous posts, there are many reasons to dislike Bughead as a couple. Every time I say that I’m done listing my reasons for disliking this couple, more reasons just continue to pop up in my mind. Here’s another 10+ reasons why I don’t ship Bughead and why they are currently one of the worst written couples on television.

Bughead is a rebound relationship: The fundamental truth is that Bughead’s relationship is a rebound relationship. Are we just going to conveniently forget about the fact that for over ten memorable years, Betty was entirely in overwhelming love with Archie and had planned on wanting to be with him in a romantic relationship in 1x01? Are we just going to brush aside that Betty finally developed the guts to tell Archie how she felt for him after secretly pining away for him since they were kids? Are we just going to completely neglect or erase the fact that Betty made a love confession to Archie and informed him how she felt for him and that she has always cherished him? Betty has loved Archie for years. She genuinely wanted to be with him romantically. It was invariably the boy that she considered as her true love and soulmate since she was a little girl. It was the boy that she assuredly had this extraordinary deep connection with, stronger than anything that she has experienced. How am I to sincerely believe that Betty could move on from Archie so quickly just like that and then jump into another complex relationship with Jughead when it’s blatantly apparent that Bughead is undoubtedly a rebound relationship? Betty has never loved anyone other than Archie in her life. Then suddenly, it’s like she just forgot about her genuine feelings for Archie and then declares Jughead as this epic love?? It makes zero sense whatsoever. Betty jumped into a passionate relationship with Jug so fast after confessing how she felt for Archie. How can people not believe that it is a rebound relationship? Nobody moves on like that after being undoubtedly in ardent love with someone so intensely for so long. One specific episode, Betty is eagerly telling Archie she doted on him her whole life and then four episodes later, she is impulsively kissing Jughead like Betty admittedly having emotional feelings for Archie never happened in just the previous chapters before? Because of Bughead being undoubtedly a rebound relationship, their relationship looks instantly rushed and seems naturally forced. The undeniable fact that the writers refused to indeed develop Bughead into a proper romantic relationship with a personal journey and emotional development makes Bughead look even more like a rebound relationship. It’s like the writers merely randomly threw Jughead and Betty together in a link because they instantly wanted to abundantly prove that Betty was over Archie and had promptly put her romantic feelings for him behind her, but I’m sorry, that is undoubtedly horrible writing. Bughead looks like a rebound relationship for two fundamental reasons: 1.) Betty nonetheless harbors unresolved feelings for Archie. We didn't see her get over Archie throughout considerable time. We never essentially witnessed her have any specific kind of profound reflection on what her complicated feelings for Archie meant for her and how it undoubtedly changed her. She candidly confessed how she felt passionately for him in the first episode, and after 1x02, it’s like it was conveniently forgotten and never spoken about again. 2.) Bughead is too rushed, and Betty moved on too quickly after promptly telling Archie how she ultimately felt for him. I understand it’s normal to want to move on when the object of your affection doesn’t reciprocate your affections, but this was just way too fast. I understand this is fiction and all, but if Betty is going to move on and jump into another relationship with Jughead, at least make it look realistic and make it make sense. At least execute Betty and Jughead to have some proper development and make their relationship grow before they start fervently kissing each other and tearfully confessing to each other that they are epic love and soulmates and blah, blah, blah. There are so many unresolved things about Bughead that make them look like an apparent rebound relationship. Because of this, I’m uncertain if Betty is just merely projecting her love/genuine feelings for Archie onto Jughead and her relationship with him. It causes me to wonder if Betty is living her dream relationship with Archie through the current relationship she’s in with Jughead. BUGHEAD IS UNDOUBTEDLY A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. 

Bughead is the worst ship or portmanteau name: The ship name “Bughead” is one of the ugliest ship names I have ever heard. I mean, who on earth could ship a couple with the portmanteau name “Bughead”? The ship name sounds like a couple that typically has nasty ass hygiene and undoubtedly has head lice regularly. I mean, couldn’t they be termed something else? Aren’t there better ship names for this couple instead of something that is named after head lice? I know precisely it’s an entirely absurd and shallow reason for me to hate Bughead positively, but the ship name is ridiculous on so many appropriate levels. But, on the other hand, I'm unsurprised that Bughead invariably has such a hideous ship name. It’s fitting that such a gross, mediocre and boring couple like them possess such an ugly ship name.

Bughead is first love: In my candid opinion, Bughead isn’t true love or great love. It’s first love. Bughead reeks of the typical high school first love relationship. Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with first love. Many of us have experienced first love at some point in our lives. We likely experienced it during our teenaged hormonal years where we thought that the person we were in a passionate romance with at the time was going to be with us forever and we were going to get married and live happily eternally after. Uh, newsflash. The majority of people rarely, if ever, end up with their first love or high school sweetheart. First loves are first loves for a specific reason. Bughead is the epitome and standard definition of a relationship that is first love. Their codependent relationship is based on passionate impulses and a distinct lack of proper planning. Bughead instantly rushed into their relationship without any conceivable kind of accomplished journey. That’s what first love is. Bughead is based precisely on puppy love and foolish infatuation. It isn't true love. True love is so much stronger and deeper than Bughead could ever possibly comprehend. Allow me to properly break down the fundamental differences between first love and true/great love: First love is typically cliche and high school. True love is mature and evolving. First love is based on infatuation and youthful idealism. True love is based on deep love/meaningful connection and emotional realism. First love is based on violent impulse. True love is based on sustainable development. First love is based on uncontrolled lust/consuming passion. True love is based on deep love and social bonding. First love is based on committing ill-advised and foolish decisions in the name of love. True love is based on being rational, planning and thinking carefully before executing key decisions. First love is based on a noticeable lack of personal trust and dishonesty in a problematic relationship. True love is based on trust, straightforward honesty and effective communication between two people. Do you undoubtedly see where I’m going here? Bughead provides all of the essential qualities of a first love relationship. First love relationships are careless, reckless, and impulsive. First love relationships lack the unbreakable bond of love and deep connection of love required for a long-lasting romantic union. It is precisely why I genuinely believe that Bughead won’t last and why they aren’t endgame; because Bughead isn’t a true love/great love, it’s the first love. Bughead naturally lacks the substantial connection and deep, everlasting love of a true romance. They lack the maturity that is required to make a long-lasting romantic union. They lack mutual trust and uncompromising honesty in their complex relationship. Betty and Jughead are constantly concealing secrets from each other, lying to each other, not communicating with each other. These are all qualities that don’t exist in a relationship that is one of the true loves. First love is also incredibly toxic and problematic. They constantly fight with each other. There is much tension in this kind of relationship. Everything is based on impulsive feelings. It is what Bughead stands for. Bughead is toxic because it’s naturally a first love, not true love. If Bughead were true love, their fraught relationship wouldn’t be as problematic as it is respectively. They wouldn’t have so many problems and issues in their relationship on a non-stop basis. Bughead appears to be a first love relationship because of the significant lack of organic chemistry and mutual passion. Many first love relationships don’t necessarily have palpable chemistry and passion. It’s like a lifelong friendship but with gentle hints of romanticism in it. It is pure Bughead. Now, I’m not declaring anything negative about being in first love relationships. I admittedly had a first love too. And I genuinely believed I was going to be with my first love for the rest of my life and I would live happily ever. But that’s merely not reality. The fact is statistics have shown that the majority of people DO NOT end up with their first love or high school sweetheart. It’s because we as genuine people are constantly changing and evolving tremendously and growing abundantly with considerable time. And that includes growing out of our first loves and high school sweethearts. Bughead is typically the first love and therefore, I don’t think they will be a long-lasting union. Jughead and Betty are going to mature, they are going to change, and they are going to grow up and realize their relationship isn’t something that is meant to last forever. Even now, their stable relationship is naturally starting to grow stale and distant because of how impulsively they got together in the first place. Eventually, first love fades instantly. However, true love never fades. That’s why I reasonably believe that Barchie is true love. Because unlike Bughead, Barchie essentially has gradual development and a unique journey. True love takes time to develop; it’s not something that is rushed into. First love is a sprint, and true love is a marathon. And Bughead = Sprint, Barchie = Marathon.

Barchie has more history in comparison to Bughead: We all popularly know that Archie and Betty have known each other since they were innocent kids. They have history and have a powerful, deep bond unlike any other two characters on this show. Archie and Betty grew up next door to each other as they were next door neighbors. They recognize each other better than anyone, and they intuitively understand each other better than anyone. Betty has been in unconditional love with Archie since childhood. Those are the kind of feelings that don’t go away. Also, Jughead has been friends with Betty and Archie since they were kids. But Betty was always way closer to Archie than she was to Jughead. The fact that Betty didn’t know when Jughead’s birthday was or has never met Jughead’s father before merely proves that Betty didn’t have that same history with Jughead than she did with Archie. Barchie having a more authentic history and a more inseparable bond than Bughead definitely establishes them as superior and instantly puts them on a level above Bughead. Affirmative, Bughead knew each other as kids, and they invariably have some history, but it’s nowhere near as strong as Barchie’s history. Barchie secures a lifelong bond and meaningful connection that is so much stronger, undeniable and deeper than anything Bughead ever has. Betty knows Archie way more and much more in-depth than she knows Jughead. Betty can read Archie like a book, and she comprehends him the most out of anyone, including Jughead. And the same is believed the other way around. Archie correctly understands and knows Betty way better than Jughead intimately. He perceives how she operates, how she ticks. He knows how to make her happy naturally, or how to make her mad or how to make her upset. Archie encourages all of Betty’s buttons, whether they be positive or negative. There’s just so much about Barchie’s superior connection to Bughead’s. You can tell by looking at Archie and Betty and when they interact with each other in scenes that there is so much history, companionship and genuine love there. But when I watch key Bughead scenes, I don’t feel there’s the same depth or history that Barchie have. It is one of the key reasons why I genuinely think Barchie is superior to Bughead. Because of that strong friendship and kinship that Archie and Betty have, they have a substantial basis and foundation for an epic romance in the future. 

Betty loves Archie + has unresolved romantic feelings for him: Come on guys. There’s undoubtedly no possible way that Betty doesn’t have some unresolved romantic feelings for Archie after all this time. It is the girl that spent the majority of her life loving Archie in secret, fearful that if she told him the truth about how she felt for him that it would change everything between them. Betty most likely felt that if she expressed to Archie her genuine feelings about him and that she cherished him romantically that it would end up destroying her friendship and relationship with him. Going by what happened in the pilot episode, she was somewhat precise. When Betty finally gained the courage to tell Archie how she felt for him, Archie freaked out. Archie didn't expect the girl that had been his best friend since childhood, the girl that he had been next door neighbors with since the tender age of 4 years old, would ever have felt so deeply for him. When Archie told Betty that he couldn’t be with her and he adamantly rejected her after her love confession, Archie stated that his apparent reason for being unable to be with her at that key moment in time was because he felt he wasn’t good enough for someone as perfect and amazing as her. Betty was heartbroken by Archie’s conscious rejection, and she didn’t take it too well at first. On top of it, she was seriously envious of Archie and his attraction to Veronica. Here’s the key thing: there is undoubtedly no possible way that Betty Cooper has stopped loving Archie Andrews. THERE IS JUST NO WAY. Nobody loves someone for that long and so deeply and merely forgets about that person or about appreciating that person. You don’t just stop loving someone like that especially when you treasured them so much for so long and have been naturally through everything together with them. There is no doubt in my critical mind that Betty still has overwhelming feelings for Archie, but she has allegedly placed them on the backburner for Archie’s sake. Betty moved on from Archie so fast, and she moved on with Jughead, but that doesn't mean she has stopped loving Archie because she hasn’t. Do you understand how I know? Because every important time that Betty is in Archie’s vicinity and presence, Betty cannot stop smiling and beaming with happiness. Whenever Betty is around Archie, she glows. She beams with genuine love and fierce pride when she looks wistfully at him. She inevitably delivers him this different sort of smile that’s for him and nobody else. Now, that’s not to say that Betty doesn’t love Jughead. Of course, she does (and I say that as someone who hates them as a couple and doesn’t ship them at all.). But, it doesn’t alter facts. Betty is still in love with Archie. She hasn’t dealt with those unresolved feelings for Archie that she has felt since she was a child. You can’t completely expect me to believe that Betty has lost all the romantic feelings that she had for Archie and has entirely moved on with Jughead, because I don’t buy it. The reason why I nevertheless think that Betty is in love with Archie is because of the lack of chemistry, romanticism and passion between Jughead and Betty. Bughead is together, but something is undoubtedly missing. I feel like Betty is solely using Jughead as a replacement or placeholder for Archie. She is projecting the kind of passionate romance and relationship that she genuinely wanted with Archie onto her relationship with Jughead and it shows. Do I genuinely think that Betty loves Jughead? Sure. But I don’t necessarily think it’s a passionate, romantic love. I think Betty wants what she feels for Jughead to be romantic love, but it isn’t. Whatever she feels for Jughead is a comforting illusion. She’s in love with the fundamental idea of Jughead and loving him. She doesn’t love him the way she loves Archie unconditionally at all. As long as Archie is nearby, Betty will inevitably have those lingering feelings for him. That’s never going away. Betty can attempt all she wants to abandon whatever she felt for Archie, but a love like that never fades. And I think deep down, Jughead sees it. Otherwise, why would Jughead always act so insecure regarding Betty and Archie? Why is he always suspicious and self-conscious? Why did Jughead tell Betty that he knows she is with him until Archie realizes his feelings for Betty to which Betty would have no issue discharging him for Archie? Because it’s an essential truth. Betty would throw Jughead in front of a Mack Truck if Archie reciprocated even 5%-10% of Betty’s romantic feelings. I can never accept Bughead for this particular reason, and I can never ship them for this very reason. I can’t just brush aside 10+ years of complex history between Betty and Archie. I can’t just brush aside the fundamental fact that Archie and Betty naturally have this strong, deep and undeniable bond and established a connection that has been formed and developed since their childhood. I can’t just brush aside the fact that for 10+ years, Betty loved Archie so much and wanted to be with him. How am I to willingly accept Bughead when all these harsh facts remain a genuine reality? I can’t just accept Betty loves Jughead more than she does Archie because it’s just not the case. She doesn’t, plain and simple. She thinks she does, but that’s because as of now, Betty is settling for Jughead because Betty knows she can’t have Archie. Archie is currently emotionally unavailable because he’s been in a relationship with Veronica for two seasons now. And the objective truth is, Archie genuinely loves Betty deep down too. He doesn’t acknowledge it or wants to comprehend it yet. He doesn’t want to accept the fact that he loves Betty because he has such a strong sense of self-doubt and self-hatred. He thinks himself as imperfect and indecent, not good enough for the suitable girl next door Betty. But what Archie doesn't realize is that loving Betty and accepting that he loves Betty is his journey and path to self-acceptance and most importantly, to self-love. Archie won’t learn to appreciate and accept himself until he sufficiently learns to love and willingly accept Betty. And this is precisely why Barchie will happen naturally and why I sincerely believe they will end up together in the ultimate end. Case in point, Betty still loves Archie, and that will never change, no matter how hard the writers try to revise history to rewrite things. 

Bughead is a cliche relationship: Bughead is typically such a cliche type of relationship. Ordinary girl next door falls for the edgy boy from the criminal side of the tracks? The reasonably popular girl falls for the loner boy who is anti-social and doesn’t fit in with the norm? Cheerleader falls for the weirdo? Their relationship is the epitome of a cliche. Bughead’s relationship is nothing new. I have seen this type of relationship many times in fiction, and it’s nothing exciting or unusual. Now, I’m not saying that any of the other relationships on Riverdale aren’t cliche in their way. Barchie could equally be considered to be cliche as well. The girl next door (Betty) falling passionately for the boy next door (Archie)? Cliche. The cheerleader (Veronica) undoubtedly falling for the popular football player (Archie)? That’s equally cliche. The industrious poor, loner boy (Jughead) gradually falling in love with the beautiful, popular rich princess (Veronica)? Yep, that’s cliche too. It’s not about the critical fact that Bughead is a cliche; it’s how they are written that bothers me. Bughead is written as a cliche teenage love. It lacks considerable depth and profound significance. I feel like Jughead and Betty just jumped into a relationship out of desperation. Many high school relationships typically happen on impulse, and Bughead’s relationship represents impulse. Bughead is a cliche relationship because it lacks excitement. Their specific dynamic is nothing original. They are from opposing sides of the spectrum socially and economically. Betty is the wholesome, cheery, upbeat girl next door and Jughead is the intense, brooding, melancholic loner. To me, Bughead reeks of the second coming of Dan/Serena (Derena) from Gossip Girl. Dan was traditionally a loner and social outcast from Brooklyn. But he craved to be romantically involved with Serena, the lovely, popular girl from the Upper East Side of Manhattan, from afar. It’s a similar situation with Jughead and Betty. Jughead is the loner outcast from the Southside who experienced an infatuation towards Betty, the sweet, girl next door from the Northside. Boring. Not only is the fundamental dynamic between Bughead been seen in many forms of modern media over the established decades, but the substance (or lack thereof) of Bughead’s relationship is what causes them to be incredibly cliche. Their relationship is extraordinarily shallow and hollow. They are acting out a typical high school teenage mini-drama. They are consistently fighting, then breaking up, then fighting again, then breaking up again, and then getting back together. Now that Bughead is seemingly past that specific stage of competing with each other and breaking up and then getting back together in a vicious cycle, their complicated relationship has presently become a cliche bore and dullard. In season 3, the writers have written themselves into an obscure corner where Bughead is concerned. It’s like they don’t recognize what to do with this couple anymore except continue composing them as the same, cliche, dull investigative couple/duo that they’ve been for the past two seasons now. Bughead is cliche and is a typical high school relationship because their relationship is based precisely on puppy love and foolish infatuation. Bughead is already acting like they are going to be together forever and are going to get married and it’s all great rainbows and unicorns. EH, WRONG. Bughead naturally has the same mentality that the considerable majority of all first love relationships and high school relationships have in common. They retain this sense of idealism in their minds when it comes to their relationship. Bughead is not based on realism and reality. It’s base on an elaborate fantasy. Jughead and Betty are only 16 years old, yet they are acting as though they are 40 and married. They are moving too much like an elderly married couple. Jughead and Betty seem to think they are set in The Notebook. They seem to lost in their world, and they don’t realize everything else around them. That is what traditionally makes Bughead an unrealistic, shallow, typical teenage high school relationship. It is why Bughead won’t endure or make it as a long-lasting romantic union. Because like I said in a previous point, Bughead is a first love, but it’s not a true love. Bughead and their relationship are nothing special, outstanding, epic or extraordinary. To me, they’re just another cliche good girl/edgy boy couple that many young females within society like to live out fantasies. They are just another accurate representation of what high school love, first love, and teenage relationships are. Bughead is cliche as hell.

FP & Alice (Falice) had romantic + sexual history: Are we just going to overlook the fact that FP and Alice had a romantic fling back in high school? Are we just going to brush aside the fact that FP and Alice not only hooked up in high school but they, also, produced a long lost son together? It appears as though history is replicating itself with regards to the Jones men hooking up with the Cooper women. In the present. For all one knows it’s merely me, but I find that history is repeating itself romantically and sexually between the Jones and the Coopers very unsettling, bizarre, gross, and weird. It naturally makes Bughead look borderline incestuous. Because of FP and Alice’s fling back in high school, they had a son together, which means that Jughead and Betty share a half-sibling. That traditionally makes the whole web between the Jones men and Cooper women even grosser and disgusting. It’s indeed strange, and it doesn’t sit comfortably with me that Jughead's father and Betty’s mother experienced an affair with each other back in high school and now, the kids are emulating their parents. I don’t know about you, but if I found out that my mother and my boyfriend’s father were hooking up in high school and it resulted in a teen pregnancy where my boyfriend and I share a long-lost sibling, I don’t know if I would want to continue having a romantic relationship with my boyfriend. It would just creep and weird me out. It’s not an ordinary circumstance at all. Then again, we have traditionally seen this same story play out on another famous teen drama show, Gossip Girl. Dan and Serena were conventionally dating each other, but it was revealed that Dan’s father Rufus and Serena’s mother Lily were in genuine love back in the day and that they allegedly had a complex affair. Like FP and Alice, Rufus and Lily had a long-lost son together whom they gave up for adoption. It’s like RAS, and the contributing Riverdale writers just stole that storyline straight out of Gossip Girl and implanted it right into Riverdale. It’s unoriginal. It is one of the biggest reasons why I’m turned off from Bughead. The fact that Jughead and Betty’s parents have an intimate and romantic history, I can’t get past that because it makes Bughead and their relationship weird. To make matters worse, FP and Alice were seemingly hooking up and dating each other in the present while their kids are also currently hooking up and dating in the present. Weird, weird, weird. Did I mention weird? The writers went as far as to sufficiently emphasize and highlight the direct parallels between Falice and Bughead and that history was replicating itself during a season 3 episode (3x03). The writers and the show purposely showed FP/Alice in bed together in one scene and then switching to the following scene with Jughead/Betty together in bed. IT’S GROSS! It made me feel very uncomfortable, and I know plenty of other viewers who mentioned that they felt just as weirded out, disgusted, and embarrassed as I did with the way those scenes were shot. Bughead is pretty much incestuous and taboo for me. Yes, Bughead isn’t blood-related at all, but it doesn’t change that they look and act like step-siblings who are forcing an intimate connection between them. Now, if I had to choose between Falice or Bughead existing or continuing their romantic relationship in the present, I would indeed rather see Falice stay together romantically than Bughead. After all, Falice was undoubtedly canon first, and Bughead is merely trying to be an inferior imitation and knockoff of their parents. Bughead is emulating Falice so hard, but they are desperately failing miserably. Bughead doesn’t have anywhere near the complex history, essential development, or passionate chemistry to be anything remotely comparable to Falice and their complicated relationship, past and present. 

Bughead erases Jughead’s sexuality: Honestly, this reason doesn’t bother me that much, and it’s not a huge reason why I don’t ship or like Bughead. But I know there’s a small yet vocal part of the fandom that it does bother greatly. According to quite a few vocal people, Jughead is asexual in the classic comics. Now, I’ve read the comics since childhood, and I can confirm and attest that in the older version of the comics, Jughead isn't asexual. In many of the past comic book storylines, Jughead has shown a romantic interest in some girls, and he has been fascinated with women at various points throughout the history of Archie Comics. He was merely written as misogynistic and as someone who didn’t think highly of women in general, but that didn’t make him asexual or aromantic. Jughead’s first love was traditionally considered to be food, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have some romantic interest in girls because he most definitely did. There have been numerous storylines of Jughead showing romantic interest in girls and even being written in romantic relationships with female characters, like Ethel and Veronica for example. The exclusive version of Jughead that is canonically confirmed to be asexual is in the recent Archie Comics 2015 reboot. I know some people who hate Bughead are upset that the show writers of Riverdale erased Jughead’s sexuality from the current version of Archie Comics. But I can suggest the argument as to why RAS and the writers wrote this. Jughead Jones is thoroughly known to represent a popular, well-liked, beloved character within the Archie Comics franchise. Carefully add to the fact that Cole Sprouse, a well-known, famous teen heartthrob for many juvenile girls and young adult women, is portraying him. As a direct result, the female viewing audience who eagerly watch Riverdale want to see the “heartthrob” who they crush on, adorn, fawn over and heartily admire, be in romantic relationships with a female character(s) on the show. That way, these adolescent girls and young adult women can live their erotic and sexual fantasies vicariously through that particular relationship. That relationship currently happens to be Bughead. Why do you genuinely think that Bughead is (or used to be, shall I say politely) popular and well-liked in a fandom primarily dominated by young teenage girls and young adult women? Because they assuredly find Cole Sprouse attractive, hot, sexy, cute and appealing and they want to witness him get romantic or sexual with a female on-screen. I recognize why the writers changed Jughead’s sexuality from that point of view. But at the same time, I understand why a vocal part of the Riverdale fandom is greatly disappointed, angry or upset that the writers chose to neglect asexual and aromantic representation on a popular teen television show. Originally, Cole Sprouse argued for his distinctive character of Jughead to be canonically asexual on the show, and he genuinely wanted Asexual!Jughead to remain a reality. He argued for it because he required representation, but that was at the beginning of the series. Right now, Cole supports Straight!Jughead and his specific character being in complex relationships with attractive girls. Cole likely changed his mind about this key topic, because he is “dating” Lili Reinhart off-screen and his character Jughead is dating Betty onscreen. Jughead not being written as the same sexuality as he was in the recent version of the comics doesn’t bother me too much. That may be a controversial thing for me to admit, but for me, that’s my opinion. Sure, it would have been tremendous to have some representation for that group because there is accurately zero of it in modern media. But the erasure of Jughead’ sexuality from the comics isn’t my most fundamental issue or concern regarding this ship. I don’t hate Bughead because it erases 2015 Comic!Jughead’s sexuality. I’m okay with the modern Riverdale version of Jughead being heterosexual and straight and into girls. Jughead’s unique character is prolifically and accurately described as an "emo heartthrob", so he is bound to be attracted to girls and have girls be attracted to him. The principal reason I hate Bughead is because it naturally lacks organic chemistry, proper development and creative originality. I hate Bughead because it’s poorly composed and usually forced. I hate Bughead because it’s a toxic piece of waste. Not because it erases accurate representation. But at the same time, I’m compassionate and understanding to those who hate Bughead because it does delete adequate representation and that’s okay too. It’s just not my reason for disliking this ship.

Bughead is too codependent: For all one knows it’s just me, but I find Bughead’s relationship codependent, especially in season 1 and 2. I feel like they lack an identity apart from each other and that’s not a good thing. An essential part of what makes them unhealthy and toxic is that Betty has become so dependent on Jughead, especially after Archie rejected her. It’s like she turned to the next boy that gave her attention and just fell hard and fast. And Jughead was just a lonely outcast who was desperate to be loved and accepted. Here comes the first person outside of Archie to give him any genuine affection and considerable attention and Jughead got too attached. Bughead’s complex relationship became significantly codependent in season 2. Betty wanted to be with Jughead so much that she was ready to willingly give up her identity and her individuality to be a part of Jughead’s cruel world as a Serpent. Jughead told Betty about entering his world and how dangerous and unpredictable it could be, but Betty was still persistent in wanting to be a Serpent. To prove how much she wanted to be with Jughead and be a part of his world, she got undressed in front of an entire bar full of adult and older Serpents AS AN UNDERAGED GIRL. Jughead was horrified when Betty carried this act out that he reluctantly decided to break up with her. Jughead didn't want Betty to be an active part of his chaotic world, and he informed her many times. But Betty’s codependence and neediness towards Jughead undoubtedly caused her to lack logical thinking. And now at the end of season 2, Betty becomes Serpent Queen and integrates herself into Jughead’s world of being a Serpent when it doesn’t flatter her whatsoever. Betty is not a Serpent. She’s not born into that unpredictable life. By becoming Serpent Queen, she essentially gave up her individuality and her identity to be with Jughead. Betty is a Northsider through and through. She will never under no circumstances be a Southsider. The fact of the matter is that Betty only joined the Serpents because she is Jughead’s girlfriend. Betty doesn’t genuinely care about the well being of the Serpents. She hasn’t achieved anything great for the well being of the Serpents. She only associated with them because of nepotism and her boyfriend Jughead being the Serpent King. Betty has no place in the Southside Serpents, and it’s abundantly apparent. It is what makes their relationship codependent. Without Jughead, who is Betty Cooper? Who would she be if Jughead broke up with Betty for good? Who would she be without him? A key reason for Betty’s strong codependence on Jughead naturally has to do with the fact that Betty isn’t mentally healthy. Betty suffers from an undiagnosed mental illness that has yet to be candidly acknowledged and adequately addressed on this show. My guess is Betty has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Those who suffer from BPD have serious abandonment issues and attachment issues. They latch onto anyone who will willingly give them love and devoted attention because they are so needy and starved for attention and enthusiastic approval from others. And Jughead happens to be Betty’s effective drug for her BPD. Instead of seeking specialized help for her mental illness, Betty used Jughead as an emotional crutch to cope. Toxic, toxic, toxic. Let’s not forget that Jughead is equally using Betty as an emotional crutch as well. Jughead has consistently been the lonely, outlasted loner who never fit in. He was bullied growing up and constantly picked on. Jughead is dependent on Betty as a way to undoubtedly make him feel accepted into the social norm especially because of the complex environment he grew up in which was a toxic one. For Jughead, Betty is a form of escapism. Escapism from his dysfunctional life and the negative environment that he has with his family at home. In an undeniable fact, I argue persuasively that Jughead and Betty’s relationship is all about escapism. They are using each other to escape from their reality, but they want to escape for different reasons. Betty is using Jughead to escape from her mental illness, her troubled family life and the pressure of having to remain the perfect faithful daughter all the time. Jughead is using Betty to escape his unhealthy, toxic, dysfunctional home life and his insecurities that he feels about not being good enough. It makes Bughead’s relationship codependent and needy in essential nature, and that’s why they are problematic. Not merely does the fact that Bughead’s relationship being based on escapism causes them to be an unhealthy, codependent relationship but also that both of them constantly break up and then get back together so fast. It genuinely seems that they don’t take time away from each other to be by themselves. They consistently have to be together and getting involved in things that could coax them into a boatload of trouble. If Betty gets prominently involved with something, then Jughead typically has to get involved. If Jughead gets involved in something, then Betty naturally has to get involved. And all that undoubtedly does is lead to more frequent problems. I feel because of their codependent relationship, Jughead and Betty have either grown stagnant as characters or have regressed as characters. They haven’t changed for the positive, and they haven’t evolved in a way that is beneficial for both of them. Their codependent attachment to each other has ceased them from exploring other relationships with people and branching out by communicating with other people besides each other. It’s like Jughead and Betty live in their little world, their little bubble and that is unhealthy. Outside of Archie, Veronica and Betty, who does Jughead undoubtedly have to consider a friend? The Serpents aren’t his friends. They are his subordinates. He is their leader, not their friend. Outside of Betty and the Serpents, Jughead doesn’t have much of an identity, and that is a problem. It's the same for Betty. Outside of Jughead and occasionally Veronica (not in season 3), Betty is barely seen communicating with anyone else. It’s like her friendships with notable people like Kevin, Veronica, and even Archie (Archie for God’s dear sake, the boy she has cherished and known intimately since childhood, has been next door neighbors with, and has been best friends with since she was a child!) have ceased to exist. Jughead is all that matters to her now. It’s depressing. Betty is lonely, and she doesn’t realize it because she doesn’t acknowledge anything or anyone else besides Jughead and her relationship with him. Bughead and their relationship are incredibly isolating. Jughead and Betty have secluded themselves away from others and the potential for generating wonderfully new bonds and enduring friendships outside of each other. Does Betty possess any friends outside of Jughead right now? I mean, seriously, her budding friendship with Veronica has grown so distant as of season 3. She barely acknowledges her anymore. At least Jughead willingly spent some decent time with Archie during this season and aided him in the running away from a demolished town of Riverdale and escaping the wrath of Hiram Lodge. And Jughead is gradually but surely starting to develop a bond and friendship with Veronica. But Betty? She willingly has no one. She’s so isolated and lonely outside of Jughead that the sole person that she is turning to other than Jughead is her serial killer father, Hal! And that’s just a grim reality. For Betty and Jughead to grow tremendously and evolve organically as complex characters, the two of them need to break up and invariably find themselves on their own. Because right now, Bughead’s codependent relationship has caused Jughead and Betty to become severely stagnant.

Bughead is an emotionally abusive relationship: This may be considered to be a controversial opinion, but I genuinely think that Bughead is an emotionally abusive relationship. I undoubtedly noticed visible traces of emotional abuse within Bughead’s relationship throughout season 1 and season 2. Whenever Jughead and Betty would argue fiercely and fight doggedly, Jughead would habitually be the likely one always to take personal digs/attacks and make nasty insults about Betty. He would berate her and insult her all the time like sarcastically calling her the “perfect girl next door” (as if it’s something that is so horrible). Jughead would yell at her for doing nice things for him (like throwing him a birthday party). He would throw her feelings for Archie in her face. It made her feel guilty for loving Archie because he’s insecure regarding Archie and Betty’s relationship. Jughead and Betty would constantly harbor secrets and lie to each other for God knows what reason (this shows a huge lack of trust and honesty in the relationship). These represent unmistakable signs of an emotionally abusive relationship yet for some strange reason, and fandom never addresses it. Most of the fandom is “Awww, BUGHEAD FEELS!” when they see Jughead and Betty in any scene together, but they don’t realize the toxic and unhealthy aspects of their relationship. They believe that because Jughead and Betty look “cute” together and act all lovey-dovey and couple-like that all is healthy and okay with their relationship, But they divert a sightless eye to how much underlying emotional abuse and unacceptable toxicity exist in the Bughead relationship. 

Bughead look + act like siblings: I can’t get over how much Bughead look and act like brother and sister. Conceivably it’s because that is their relationship in the comics. But they don’t appear as a romantic couple to me. When they get intimate and sexual, it looks very incestuous. Jughead and Betty’s parents experiencing a romantic history emphasizes the incestuous aspect of the Bughead relationship. Let me gently remind you that if FP and Alice ever got married in the foreseeable future, Jughead and Betty would be step-siblings who are in brotherly love and dating each other. It is just shameful and bizarre and cringe-worthy. Let’s not forget that in real life, Cole and Lili look like they could be related or that they could be brother and sister. I know Cole has dyed his hair black for his role as Jughead, but Cole is a natural born blond. Lili is, also, a natural born blonde. Jughead and Betty would appear to be more like siblings than they do if Cole kept his original hair color of blond. If you don’t believe me that Cole and Lili legitimately look like they could pass as brother and sister, then just put a candid photo of Blond!Cole next to Lili and see how much they indeed physically resemble each other. Jughead and Betty’s relationship is just way too platonic and sibling-like for me to believe they have any romantic chemistry. Bughead’s sex scenes look like a brother and sister getting it on. For example, the first time when Bughead got physical in 1x13, it was just so awkward and non-sexual. It looked extremely sibling-like and incestuous, and it looked like two siblings having a secret affair in their trailer park. Yuck. The second considerable time that Bughead gets physical in 2x12, it appeared non-sexual and incestuous. Again, there was no sexual and romantic chemistry during their first time. The distinct lack of fierce passion and romanticism in Bughead’s relationship is the most substantial reason why I genuinely feel Bughead acts like a brother/sister type of relationship rather than a romantic, intimate one. Falice having sexual and romantic history plus Bughead sharing a long-lost sibling doesn’t help Bughead look any less like an incestuous brother/sister relationship.

Bughead is constantly trying to fix each other: I hate how Jughead and Betty are repeatedly trying to solve and fix each other’s problems. That’s not how healthy relationships work. In season 1 alone, I unquestionably felt that Betty was intentionally trying to fix Jughead properly. I felt like she was trying to mold Jughead into who she wanted him to be. I don’t feel like she fully accepted him for whom he was. Much of her relationship with Jughead in season 1 was her projecting her profound feelings for Archie onto Jughead. Jughead comes from a highly dysfunctional family and unfavorable environment. Betty saw Jughead as a project that could be fixed so she could feel better about herself. That’s exactly how I see Betty’s relationship with Jughead. I feel like she is constantly mothering him instead of being an actual supportive girlfriend. And Jughead genuinely seems to enable this mother type attitude in Betty because Jughead has serious unresolved mommy issues. After all, Jughead’s mother Gladys up and left and abandoned him to an extremely troubled household with an alcoholic deadbeat father. Betty, being the perfectionist and fixer that she is naturally, obviously fell for Jughead because she identifies with someone that is emotionally unstable due to his horrible upbringing. She knows he is poor and has serious family issues. For Betty, fixing Jughead is undoubtedly an effective way for her to feel better about herself because she battles serious self-esteem issues. She constantly experienced the standard pressure to be the faithful daughter, an excellent student, and a beloved sister, and this was the pressure that was eagerly pushed upon her by both of her willing parents Hal and Alice. I feel like since Betty constantly tries to fix Jughead’s fundamental problems, she promptly loses her independent identity to him in the process. In season 2, Betty fixing Jughead’s problems is even more obvious than in season 1. Betty is so adamant on fixing Jughead and earnestly trying to get him to overcome his difficult issues that she is intent on joining the Serpents and being passionately involved in the gang lifestyle. Betty’s reasoning for wanting to be a Serpent was so she can be with Jughead and watch out for him. I understand that she wants to be a so-called supportive girlfriend, but her wanting to be part of a gang lifestyle, something that she never grew up in and a life that is so unpredictable and dangerous, was just such a stupid and reckless reason. Even Jughead had to push back at Betty and inform her that the Serpent life wasn’t meant for her. The reason why Betty is always trying to fix Jughead and his problems is that she’s not satisfied with the person that Jughead is. If she loved and accepted Jughead for who he is, then she wouldn’t be trying to change him and solve his issues all the time. The other notable time when Betty tried to fix Jughead’s longstanding problems was when Betty decided to blackmail and manipulate Cheryl into lying under sacred oath about FP covering up the murder of her deceased twin brother Jason. Betty was so desperate to clear her boyfriend’s convicted father so that he would receive a lighter prison sentence and punishment for his crime. Betty did such a horrible, sinister and devious act by blackmailing a traumatized girl for her gain just so that she can be seen as a super good girlfriend who’d do anything for her boyfriend. On the reverse, Jughead also tries fixing Betty’s issues as well. Such as the case when Betty and her family found themselves in a crisis when Imposter Chic murdered someone right in the middle of the Cooper House. Jughead ended up committing a punishable crime by covering up murder evidence that belonged to the dead man so that the local authorities wouldn't catch Betty and her family for their crime. Not only that but because Jughead was trying so hard to fix Betty’s problems, he got his criminal parole father involved in the mess. I don’t know about you, but if I were Betty, the last thing I would want is for my longtime boyfriend’s father who had scarcely got out of prison, is for him to be involved in covering up a second dead body. I wouldn't want to involve my boyfriend's parole father so that he risks being arrested and going to jail once again for knowingly committing the same crime that burdened him in prison in the first place. Though Jughead has intentionally tried to solve Betty’s problems, there is one important issue in which Jughead has completely neglected when it comes to Betty: her mental health. For some reason, Jughead can fix and solve all of Betty’s obvious issues, but he can’t even convince her to get the mental help that she needs. Alternatively, he chooses to either brush it under the rug or enable it by advising her that everything is going to be okay because he’ll be there to support her. I’m not asking for Jughead to directly fix Betty’s mental health or cure her mental illness, because nobody is capable of doing such a thing. But what he should be doing, as any good boyfriend would typically do, is convincing her to get mental help for herself. I don’t want Jughead to fix Betty’s mental health because no one reasonable person can fix people’s mental illness. But what he can undoubtedly do is adequately communicate with her and talk intimately to her about her mental health issues. What he can do is demonstrate to her some tough love and sincerely convince her to stand up for herself and voluntarily seek the valuable help that she dearly needs. But Jughead hasn’t done that at all. He’s merely nudged Betty’s mental health to the side as if it signifies nothing. Jughead and Betty can fix each other’s external problems, but the one thing they consistently fail at doing is being a healthy and proper support system for each other without the need to fix and mold one another into who they want each other to be. That is conditional love, not unconditional love. 

Bughead has too much jealousy and insecurities: I genuinely think that Betty and Jughead undoubtedly have too much jealousy and insecurities in their relationship. These key issues with jealousy are highlighted in season 1 and season 2. Jughead is constantly insecure about Betty’s relationship and mutual feelings for Archie. It’s like it was habitually in the back of his mind. When Betty and Jughead get into a fight in 1x10, Jughead even lashes out at Betty about her ambiguous relationship with Archie. He notifies her that she is only with him till Archie reciprocates her feelings romantically. The fact that Jughead assumes this shows that he has some serious insecurity issues concerning Archie and Betty’s relationship. Jughead also showed jealousy when Betty and Archie exchanged Christmas gifts with each other in 2x09. He could see that Betty and Archie had that special connection that he didn’t have with Betty because Betty was so sure that the present she received was from Archie. Jughead knows deep down that Archie and Betty naturally have this powerful and deep connection yet he intentionally tries to conceal it and conveniently ignore it as much as possible. That is until Betty and Archie share moments right in front of him and then he allows his jealous and insecure side to come out. When Jughead finds out that Archie and Betty exchanged a kiss from Cheryl, Jughead doesn’t take it too well. He gets so upset and resentful over it that he possesses a desire to get back at Betty and Archie by kissing Veronica. The fact that he was willing to get back at Barchie for kissing each other showcased his insecurities regarding Archie and Betty’s relationship. If he were secure in his relationship with Betty, he wouldn’t require the need to resort to such a petty move. The fact of the matter is he wanted to get revenge against Archie and Betty, and he even admitted it as much. He told Betty that he enjoyed seeing the look on Archie’s face when he was kissing Veronica to get back at him. Pure jealousy and pettiness because he’s uncertain about Archie and Betty kissing, even when the two of them were broken up at the time. Jughead revealed some jealousy in a recent season 3 episode (3x10).  Archie told the rest of the core four at Pop’s that he would have a hard time studying for the SAT’s because he may have to repeat his academic Junior year due to having been through so much that year. Betty supported Archie and advised him that she would happily help him study and promptly let him catch up. Jughead had a bitterly jealous look on his face when Archie and Betty were talking about investing time together, and Betty was talking about tutoring Archie as she did for him back in grade 2. Jughead is desperately insecure with Archie and Betty just being friends and helping each other. That is how much he knows that he is in Archie’s constant shadow where Betty is concerned and he has been so since childhood. The fact is Jughead has always been jealous of Archie deep down because Betty has always loved Archie and showed him more attention than him. It’s stated as much by the writers who recently confirmed it (though I’m skeptical because I genuinely feel like much of Bughead’s relationship is retcon and a revision of history.). Jughead has always felt second best to Archie especially in regards to his friendship and emotional bond with Betty, and it’s been repeatedly sprinkled throughout the show so far. I think deep down, Jughead knows that Archie and Betty have such a deep and intimate connection and that with time, they will eventually consummate that connection. It’s only a matter of time. Jughead can see that Archie and Betty share this unique bond that he will never share with Betty and that brings out Jughead’s insecurities. Jughead can deny it deep down all he desires, but he completely knows. He knows by heart that what Archie and Betty naturally have is special and that one day, Archie is eventually going to open his eyes and realize that Betty is the chosen one for him. But for now, Jughead tries turning a blind eye to it because he wants to have faith that his relationship with Betty will survive through it all. But with considerable time, Bughead will founder, and nothing will stop Barchie from getting together down the continuous line. At this specific point, it is inevitable, and Jughead even said as much in 2x08 when he narrated the memorable Barchie scene with the both of them looking wistfully at each other through each other’s windows. But not only does Jughead battle jealousy issues in their relationship. Betty has shown some jealousy issues where Jughead is concerned. The times when Betty had demonstrated jealousy and insecurity regarding Jughead was when Jughead was acting genuinely friendly with Toni. In 2x11, Jughead and Toni were working collaboratively on a school project together, and when she instantly saw Jughead and Toni together, she immediately got suspicious. It is part of the reason why Betty was so hostile towards Toni at first because she was self-conscious about Jughead’s friendship and bond with Toni. Betty harbored insecurities where Jughead and Toni were concerned because Toni, unlike Betty, was from the same world as Jughead. Both Jughead and Toni were undoubtedly kindred spirits because they were both from the Southside, both poor and both have a direct Serpent lineage. These striking similarities between Jughead and Toni automatically made them compatible and right for each other (this was before Toni got with Cheryl and confirmed that she liked both guys and girls). Betty naturally viewed Toni as a potential threat to her relationship with Jughead because Toni was traditionally from Jughead’s complex world and Betty was not. That is where Betty’s fierce jealousy regarding Toni and Jughead exists. Generally speaking, Bughead merely possesses too many insecurities regarding their relationship. The fact that Jughead and Betty get so easily insecure and jealous when someone of the opposite sex develops some mutual bond or meaningful relationship with either of them shows a distinct lack of mutual security in their relationship. 

Bughead lack solid communication: A fundamental problem that I naturally have with Bughead’s relationship is precisely the fundamental lack of effective communication in their relationship. They are always lying to each other and keeping secrets from each other, especially dangerous secrets that are critically important. Bughead has issues opening up to each other when it is most significant for them to do so. The remarkable lack of direct communication between both of them is one of the most substantial reasons why their relationship is so toxic, especially in season 1. Betty has knowingly lied to Jughead numerous times and has deliberately concealed valuable secrets from him. Some of the necessary things that Betty has knowingly lied to Jughead about or kept from him prominently include her struggling with mental illness. She steadfastly refused to tell Jughead that she passionately kissed Archie. Betty didn't tell Jughead that she was webcamming online with unusual men. She didn't tell Jughead or let him know she had every intention of joining the Serpents and going through the Serpent initiation of stripping on stage (Jughead ended up completely blindsided when Betty stripteased on stage). Betty didn't inform Jughead about her presumed long lost brother Chic and how dangerous and suspicious he was. She didn't notify Jughead that the Black Hood was threatening and blackmailing her into hurting her loved ones against her will intentionally. Betty refused to tell Jughead that she was privately working with the Black Hood and assisting him in causing destruction and chaos in Riverdale (She told Archie and Veronica about her working with the Black Hood before she confessed to her boyfriend!). Additionally, she didn't tell Jughead that she was a direct accomplice to murder when she sent Imposter Chic to his death by luring him to the Black Hood so that he could personally assassinate and murder him (This means Betty was okay with someone being killed in cold blood even if they were a bad or evil person.). In contrast, Jughead isn’t always honest with Betty either. He didn’t tell Betty that he kissed Toni and sort of hooked up with her after they broke up. He withheld the critical fact that his father was a Southside Serpent from her which would have introduced much unnecessary drama to Betty’s life. He hasn’t told Betty about the vital fact that he kidnapped and tortured Tall Boy and then covered up his murder after Fangs accidentally shot him dead. He wasn't upfront with Betty about him playing Gryphons & Gargoyles at first. He was willing to steadfastly maintain his active involvement in the complex game a well-kept secret from her. There’s way too many unnecessary lies and deep secrets between the two of them. Secrets and extremely detrimental and terrible lies in nature. The fundamental fact that Jughead and Betty constantly feel they can’t talk about the critically significant things or gloss over their key issues is a red flag for the longevity of their romance. A beneficial and stable intimate relationship typically involves effective communication, trust, and straightforward honesty when it matters most, and unfortunately, Jughead and Betty fail spectacularly to perform all of those critical things properly. In this season (season 3), I find they are slowly growing removed from each other which is naturally causing them to lack communication even more. Periodically, I don’t feel that Bughead communicate enough that I conveniently forget they are a couple or are in a relationship. They are acting like two distinguished strangers who don’t recognize each other. That’s how separate their relationship has undoubtedly become this season. Season 2 had them continually lying to each other and keeping secrets from each other, but season 3 typically has them barely talking or properly communicating at all. When they have communicated this season, it usually results in a climactic fight or a possible argument of some sort. I genuinely think the fundamental fact that Jughead and Betty’s social communication is weak is a visible sign that their relationship is on borrowed time. 

Bughead shares a long-lost sibling: This key reason merely makes Bughead look like a disgusting and gross relationship. Are we just going to forget that FP (Jughead’s father) and Alice (Betty’s mother) gave birth to a long-lost child together in high school? It means that Jughead and Betty share a half-sibling/half-brother. It immediately makes their relationship very awkward and weird. Bughead is already incestuous enough as it because they act suspiciously like brother and sister and don’t have romantic chemistry/sexual chemistry, to begin. But the fact that Falice experienced intimate history together and had a child together makes Bughead even weirder. Falice’s illegitimate deceased son and Bughead’s half-brother Charles is supposedly dead because Imposter Chic allegedly murdered him. Even if Charles happens to be dead, it doesn’t change that Jughead and Betty still share a brother and that it nevertheless makes their relationship borderline incestuous. I’m sorry, but if I found out that my longtime boyfriend and I shared in common a half-sibling, I don’t know if I could maintain a romantic relationship with my boyfriend. I would be disgusted if I acknowledged my parents and my boyfriend's parents were hooking up! Jughead and Betty’s father and mother hooking up and having a sexual history and currently revisiting that romantic and sexual history is bad enough. But the fact that Bughead shares a sibling makes it so much worse, and it doesn’t sit right with me at all. If Falice gets appropriately married in the possible future, Bughead would be traditionally step-siblings who share in common a half-deceased brother and are in a romantic relationship. That’s just odd.

Bughead doesn’t exist in the comics: Bughead has never been in the source material of Archie Comics. It is a significant reason why I hate this couple. There has under no circumstances been any romantic implications between Jughead and Betty in the comics. Jughead and Betty experience a strictly platonic relationship in the comics, and he's never shown any romantic interest in her whatsoever. Alternatively, Jughead has proved to be typically a generous supporter of Archie and Betty being together. Yes, that’s accurate. Jughead is undoubtedly the most prominent Barchie supporter in the classic comics, and that’s the proper way it should be typically. Jughead continually provides Betty kindly advice on how to win Archie over and persuade him to select Betty over Veronica. Jughead constantly encourages Betty to pursue Archie doggedly and has never had any interest in considering a romantic move on Betty whatsoever. Bughead as a romantic relationship does not and never has existed in the Archies Comic universe from what I recognize. And for that exact reason, this is why Bughead is considered to be unquestionably a fanservice ship. Jughead has traditionally had more romantic moments with Veronica in the classic comics than he has had with Betty! For some apparent reason, the prominent writers of Riverdale persistently refuse to have Jeronica experience more meaningful interaction and scenes together, despite their relationship being way more emphasized and iconic in the classic comics than Jughead and Betty’s. Bughead being canon on the show is utterly disrespectful to the source material of Archie Comics and even more insulting that the contributing writers voluntarily chose to erase the classic and iconic love triangle between Archie/Betty/Veronica just so that they can typically force Bughead on us. Just nope.

Jughead becomes unlikeable because of Betty: In season 1, I loved Jughead’s unique character. But as soon as he instantly got with Betty, he typically started to slowly become one of the most unlikeable characters on the show. I instantly saw rare glimpses of his unlikeability in season 1 when he was typical with Betty. When Betty threw Jughead a birthday party, Jughead lashed out and acted like a complete jerk. Affirmative, Betty should have told him beforehand that she wanted to arrange him a party instead of blindsiding him, but he still shouldn’t have reacted so harshly towards her. Despite Jughead’s periodic outbursts towards Betty and generally acting cold, icy and aloof towards most people, I sincerely liked Jughead and undoubtedly found him a decent character. Come season 2, and Jughead’s distinctive character became increasingly annoying and intolerable. I’m not going to instantly put all of the blame on Betty and Jughead’s relationship with her for him becoming increasingly annoying and unlikeable, but she is partly to blame for his fundamental change in personality. In season 1, Jughead demanded nothing to do with the Serpents. He proclaimed he wanted nothing to do with the Serpents so much that he didn’t have a good relationship with his father. Jughead would have rather been homeless than be undoubtedly like his alcoholic father. But then suddenly. Jughead genuinely wants to be a Serpent so bad and enthusiastically embrace his family legacy. It was like a polar night and day switch in personality. He went from being someone who was repulsed and turned off by the Serpents to genuinely wanting to be an active part of the Serpents and advocating for them so hard. And the remarkable thing is, I genuinely feel like Betty fed into Jughead’s negative Serpent addiction. She enabled his earnest desire to all of a sudden be a Serpent. Initially, Betty would be against Jughead being a Serpent but turns out that she wasn’t against it at all. By contrast, she was fine with her longtime boyfriend being undoubtedly in an organized gang and endangering himself even further. She was fine with Jughead eagerly embracing his historical Serpent legacy that Betty herself wanted to be a part of the complex Serpent world. She enabled Jughead becoming a Serpent. Jughead choosing to join the active gang voluntarily was precisely his informed decision, but Betty helped to influence him even more and enable him to become a Serpent. Essentially, Betty enabled Jughead to experience a dangerous lifestyle that could cause him so much trouble and danger instead of advocating for him to live a much safer crime-free lifestyle. It is possible it’s just me, but since Jughead has become a Serpent and even more, a Serpent King, Jughead has become very unlikeable and irritating as a character. Throughout the second half of season 2, I found Jughead increasingly annoying. He came across as very aggressive, intentionally mean and a cowardly bully. I especially hated his treatment of Veronica and how he talked down to her and mistreated her for her family’s crimes. Jughead was always the one who would proclaim the kids are not their parents. Adequately, if that were the case, why didn’t he give Veronica the benefit of the doubt and apply that same philosophy to her? He's becoming more aggressive, volatile and confrontational. In season 3 as Serpent King, he has become drunk and eagerly consumed with power. He has let being Serpent King and being an elected leader make his ego grow out of excessive control, and now he’s resorted to ill-treating his subordinate Serpents. He’s been a horrible leader so far and has proven he’s not meant to be King. Jughead had no issue with voluntarily leaving the Serpents high and dry and struggling financially. I genuinely understand that Jughead was helping his best friend Archie escape from Riverdale and the wrath of Hiram Lodge. But he doesn’t enjoy the luxury of doing stuff like that now that he’s Serpent King. He has responsibilities that he must tend to and dependent people to protect. That is precisely the whole point of being an effective leader and a King of a gang: caring about your needed people and subordinates. Season 3 has proven that Jughead is two types of leaders. Either he's a brutal, tyrannical, dictatorial, power-hungry, aggressive, and controlling Serpent King towards his subordinates and treats his underlings with disrespect and unfairness. Or he’s a weak, wimpy, irresponsible, spineless, and careless Serpent King who doesn’t take his responsibilities seriously enough and doesn’t seem to give a shit about his subordinates. Jughead, so far, has proven he is unlikeable as a Serpent and even more unlikeable as a Serpent King. With regards to Betty, Jughead humbly asking Betty to be his beloved Serpent Queen is undoubtedly just all distinct kinds of ridiculous. She does not deserve that honorary title. She is there because she is Jughead’s longtime girlfriend. She isn't earning that title through what she has done for the Serpents. It’s sheer nepotism because she is dating the Serpent King. The fact that Jughead allowed her to become the Serpent Queen is pathetic and sickening. If anyone should be given the title of Serpent Queen, it’s Toni Topaz. After all, the Southside Serpents are her family, and her family was the one who originated and founded the gang in the first place. It's Toni's legacy, and it's in her blood, even more than Jughead.  In addition to proving to be a horrible friend, boyfriend,  and leader, Jughead has showcased high key hypocritical behavior. He constantly criticizes Hiram Lodge and the Lodge family for being a family of petty criminals when his family is also criminals similar to the Lodges. As Serpent King, he declared there would be no crime tolerated as long as he is King. He had no issue with promptly kicking Toni and Cheryl out for doing something as harmless and stupid as stealing a Glamerge Egg stealthily from someone who has intentionally tried to destroy the Serpents lives (Hiram Lodge) wantonly. But then Jughead commits multiple crimes when he kidnaps and tortures Tall Boy and then covers up the murder of Tall Boy after Fangs accidentally assassinates him. He has allowed the executive power as Serpent King to get to his head and he has become more and more egotistical and full of himself. And Betty being with him surely hasn’t helped matters. She hasn’t been capable of snapping him out of these horrible moments that he’s been having throughout this season. Jughead has been playing Gryphons & Gargoyles, and he has allowed the game to consume him, and he has started to act crazy and brainwashed. But even Betty forewarning him hasn’t snapped him out of it. Jughead has become power hungry, and a tyrannical authoritarian leader of the Serpents and Betty hasn’t been able to temper his ego and his overwhelming power-hungry attitude. He has grown extremely distant from Betty, and it doesn’t even seem like they are even a couple anymore. There are just so many things that have negatively changed in Jughead’s character that I’m certain that the only way to repair Jughead’s character is to break him up with Betty and for him to be single for a while so that he can grow as a person. Jughead’s relationship with Betty has knowingly caused Jughead to become a stagnant character with bad character development. Jughead has regressed as a unique character and hasn’t experienced any positive growth, and at least 80% of the reason for Jughead’s distinct lack of personal growth is overwhelmingly his relationship with Betty. 

Betty becomes annoying because of Jughead: Similar to the previous point, Bughead has also caused Betty’s complex character to be impacted negatively as well. Since getting involved with Jughead, Betty has come to be one of the most annoying and irritating characters. She had been a much better character before she got into a rebound relationship with Jughead. Betty was a decent character in season 1, but she slowly descended into annoying character territory as soon as she jumped into a relationship with Jughead. The fundamental truth is that part of what traditionally made Betty more and more annoying was how much of her unique identity was dependent on Jughead. In season 2, it became pronounced that Betty was starting losing her identity through her relationship with Jughead. Her moral compass also started to become blurred, and she was willing to bend the rules and her morals for Jughead, something that is not okay. Such a prime example of Betty doing something immoral in the name of Jughead is when she severely threatened Cheryl and blackmailed her into lying under oath at FP’s criminal trial about FP covering up Jason’s brutal murder so that he would improperly receive a lighter prison sentence than he deserved. Betty blackmailed Cheryl to commit deceit or else she would expose the video of her father Clifford murdering her beloved twin brother Jason on the internet and everyone would know about it. The fact that Betty was willing to efficiently conduct such an evil, sinister and immoral deed all in the name of saving Jughead’s convicted father from receiving the prison sentence that he deserved for committing a crime of covering up murder showcased that Jughead is merely such a bad influence on Betty. As we all know, Betty battles a sinister side and suffers severe mental health issues that she has repeatedly ignored and refused to face and acknowledge. Jughead possesses a habit of bringing out Betty’s darkness and enabling her mental illness. When Betty was misbehaving and dressing up in BDSM clothing during a foreplay session with Jughead in 2x14, Jughead didn’t even flinch or show concern. He indeed enjoyed it and relished in it, and it was just beyond disturbing. Another key thing that bothered me was how Betty was so desperate to be with Jughead that she was willing to give up her established identity as a Northsider and promptly become a Southside Serpent. Jughead had informed her that he didn’t want him involved in that life because of how dangerous it is yet she persistently refused to listen attentively to him and his legitimate concerns. Betty got on a grand stage and started stripping in front of a local bar of old men as an underaged girl. It was just so inappropriate, and this was when I started to dislike Betty and realize just how much of a toxic influence Jughead and his environment have on Betty. Also, since getting with Jughead, Betty has become increasingly mean spirited and self-righteous. She adopts a terrible attitude and feels like she can merely talk down ton people whenever she wants. The unreasonable way Betty treats Veronica and talks down to her is downright disgusting and unacceptable. She has gone out of her way to humiliate Veronica repeatedly publicly, and I feel like Jughead plays a part in that because Jughead has always had a grudge against Veronica and her family. Jughead’s self-righteous and arrogant attitude, especially throughout season 2, strongly rubbed off on Betty and it showed in how Betty talked to people and treated others. Jughead and Betty together were highly annoying and unlikeable throughout season 2, and I couldn’t stand them and how they acted up. With Jughead, Betty seems to have a superiority complex which causes me to want to punch her in the face. She thinks she has the moral high ground when in reality, Betty has become one of the most morally compromised characters in the show since she got with Jughead. Betty has showcased that she is also very hypocritical. She is willing to commit immoral, illegal and criminal activity herself knowingly and is perfectly okay with Jughead committing immoral and criminal activity because they naturally think they are doing it for the right thing. But God forbid someone else does something wrong or something traditionally considered to be illegal, and all eternal hell breaks loose, and Jughead and Betty suddenly have something to declare about it. Betty called Veronica out for being a spoiled wealthy girl with corrupt daddy issues. Also, she called Veronica, a bad girl because of the harmful things her wealthy family does. It makes Betty pathetic and hypocritical. When she made those offensive comments to humiliate Veronica publically, she lacked self-awareness in addition to being a hypocrite. Because the truth is, Betty is also a spoiled, privileged girl with serious daddy issues and with a serial killer father and a cruel mother. Not to mention that Betty has committed more crimes and broken the law way more than Veronica ever has. Therefore no, Betty doesn’t claim any right or moral high ground to criticize Veronica and humiliate her constantly for things that her criminal family commits. Because Betty is more morally compromised than Veronica and it’s not even close. Not only do I believe that Jughead exercises a profoundly negative influence on Betty’s personality and he enables her darkness, but he also isolates Betty. It genuinely seems that since getting with Jughead, Betty has isolated herself from her other friends. We barely witness her communicate with anyone else other than Jughead. To Betty, it seems that Jughead is all that matters to her. That causes Betty to appear as unfriendly, aloof, unapproachable and unlikeable. Like Jughead, Betty has morphed into a loner, and it’s very unhealthy. Betty was way more sociable and friendly before she got with Jughead and it’s just sad that her relationship with Jughead has knowingly caused her social life to take a serious hit and deteriorate so badly. Betty has inevitably lost her likability and her identity because of her relationship with Jughead. Jughead has made Betty very unlikeable, and that is why it’s so hard for me even to support her or like her anymore. Like I mentioned above, the sole way for Betty’s character to be redeemed is for the writers to break Betty and Jughead up. Betty needs to be single for a while and to undergo some character development on her own without the urgent need of a boyfriend. I do ultimately desire her to develop a romantic relationship with Archie sufficiently but truthfully; she doesn’t deserve Archie with who she currently is. She’s way too screwed up to be with anyone in a relationship right now. Betty needs to be getting help for her mental health. She needs to be resolving her family issues. She needs to get some self-esteem because I honestly don’t think she has any. And most of all, she needs to get the hell away from Jughead. He is just bad for her on so many levels. Betty would be way more likeable, and a more admirable character without Jughead and that is the truth. Jughead is a major influence and apparent reason for Betty’s ultimate downfall as a decent character. Simply disappointing. 

Jughead is second best to Archie (when it concerns Betty): Let’s confront the facts here. Betty has been in unconditional love with Archie, and she always will be. That will never change. I don’t care how much she proclaims that Jughead is this impressive boyfriend and epic love (which he’s not). Betty loved Archie for so long and for her to merely disregard her feelings for him makes absolutely no logical sense to the storyline. We at present know that Jughead has felt second best to Archie since they were kids. Jughead felt that Archie was typically the more brilliant kid, the more popular kid, and Betty cherished him. Jughead has always felt second best to Archie, and honestly, that will never change. In the back of Jughead’s conscious mind, he feels insecure next to Archie and even more now than when they were kids growing up together. Archie has everything favoring him. He’s well-liked, he’s a natural-born leader, good-looking, charismatic, get all the attractive girls, he’s a talented athlete and a local star. Plus there’s inevitably going to be that critical fact that since childhood, Betty loved Archie before she barely looked Jughead’s way. Despite receiving the girl, Jughead must know that deep down, the most significant reason why he indeed got the girl in the first place is that Archie rejected her because he didn’t think he was competent enough to be with someone like her. It’s not like Betty naturally chose Jughead over Archie because she didn’t. Betty never got the chance or the ample opportunity to do so. Betty loved Archie for years, Betty told Archie how she genuinely felt, Archie totally freaked out and instantly rejected her, Betty was naturally forced to move on no matter how much Archie’s rejection hurt her. Allow me to spell it out one more time: Betty Cooper never chose Jughead Jones over Archie Andrews. Alternatively, Betty Cooper settled for Jughead Jones because she couldn’t have Archie Andrews. Archie has consistently been Betty’s first choice period. Do you genuinely think that is somehow going to change even though Jughead and Betty are currently in a relationship? Nah. One memorable day, Betty will willfully choose Archie over Jughead. It’s only a critical matter of time. Because deep down, Betty loves Archie and constantly has and always will. Betty will uncover her eyes once again and realize that Archie is the one that she belongs with and that she was merely projecting what she desired to possess with Archie into her relationship with Jughead. And yes, as a direct result of Betty’s unresolved feelings, Jughead will end up feeling second best to Archie once again just like he typically did when they were kids. Jughead will end up undoubtedly hurt and left behind like he did when Betty, Archie, and Jughead used to hang out during their childhood. The truth is Betty is settling for Jughead because Archie was unavailable to her. Poor Jughead. 

The classic, iconic love triangle (between Archie/Betty/Veronica) needs to be explored: The classic, iconic love triangle between Archie, Veronica and Betty is the most important storyline of Archie Comics. The fact that the writers believed it would be a brilliant idea to erase this aspect of the comics on their show adaptation is one of the worst writing decisions ever. If you’re going to make a show off an adaptation from a novel or comic book, at least make sure that you include the most compelling storylines and plot from the source material. Otherwise, what is the point of making a TV adaptation if you’re not going to respect the source material? The classic love triangle between Archie, Veronica and Betty is undoubtedly the whole point of Archie Comics. For the prominent writers to erase this key aspect and force Bughead as the main couple on the successful show, an odd couple that doesn’t indeed exist in the classic comics in the first place, a huge insult to the Archie Comics franchise. One of the fundamental reasons why I began watching this show in the first place is to see the iconic love triangle unfold between Archie, Veronica, and Betty. When I initially saw the show and the Pilot, I genuinely thought that was what we were allegedly going to receive throughout the series. But it proved to be a massive disappointment. They erased the triangle and forced Jughead and Betty into an unusual relationship. It merely makes no sense for the plot and the show. The sole reason why Jughead and Betty got together and for pure fan service reasons. Jughead and Betty are undoubtedly in no proper way romantically involved in the Archie Comics. They are strictly platonic friends, and I expected them to have the same dynamic on the show. Betty has always been in love with Archie and has never expressed a romantic interest in Jughead in the source material. Betty not being in passionate love with Archie and pining for him goes willingly against everything that Betty Cooper is popular as a unique character in the classic comics. Archie’s primary storyline is constantly being torn between Betty and Veronica, especially in the Archie Comics (2015) reboot. That is typically Archie Comics. The love triangle between Archie, Veronica and Betty are so timeless and classic and iconic that it’s the first key thing I naturally think of when I think of Archie Comics. This love triangle is one of the classic and oldest love triangles in modern media. This ongoing love triangle between Archie, Veronica and Betty and the compelling storyline of who is Archie inevitably going to choose: Betty or Veronica? has been going on for nearly 100 years! How do you produce a show based on Archie Comics and erase such a crucial plot point and storyline from the source material that you are adapting? It doesn’t generate any sense. It is why I don’t like or properly respect Bughead. Bughead should have never happened romantically on the show. It ruined or lowered the chances of the classic love triangle from being explored. Before being a Riverdale fan, I’m undoubtedly an Archie Comics fan. The contributing writers completely shit all over Archie Comics by not including the love triangle. Hopefully, the writers stop writing fan service and produce the show the way it’s supposed to be written. I sincerely hope that eventually, the writers diligently pursue the love triangle between Archie, Veronica, and Betty. Otherwise, what was typically the essential point in creating Riverdale in the first place? RAS and the Riverdale writers screwed up big time and merely made a critical writing and administrative error. And because of that, it’s no wonder the show has gone sideways, and the plot and storylines and characterizations of the comic characters are completely over the place. They neglected the one crucial piece of the Archie Comics material, and that is the classic love triangle. Shame on the contributing writers for reluctantly forcing Bughead, a useless ship that is undoubtedly non-existent in the classic comics, and shamefully neglecting and conveniently ignoring the love triangle between Archie, Betty, and Veronica. I don’t want to watch two boring, stale couples of Bughead and Varchie (AKA the Core Four) be all happy and lovey-dovey and act like they are elderly wed couples in high school. NO. I want complex drama. I require the exploration of creative relationships. I want fun and wild excitement. I want breathless suspense. The forced pairings of Varchie and Bughead do not provide me that, and it has strongly diverted me as a loyal viewer of Riverdale. Without that iconic love triangle from the classic comics, the show is going to become stale and boring very quickly. We’re in season 3, and the show already has become stale because of the boring, forced chemistry-lacking couples of Bughead and Varchie being constantly shoved in our grave faces and screaming hysterically “We’re endgame!” so early in the series. Where is the genuine excitement and legitimate interest in that when couples are already declaring their endgame and meant to be together so early in the series? That’s a huge executive writing mistake to put together those kinds of lines and dialogue in a show that’s a teen drama with romance. People are getting bored, and it’s showing in the ratings and in the reviews. Promptly give me the classic love triangle which is supposed to be traditionally established canon on the show and quit writing fan serviced garbage that is forced AKA Bughead and Varchie!

Bughead lacks sexual attraction and romanticism: Bughead doesn't appear to be a romantic enough couple because I find they lack sexual attraction and romanticism in their relationship. I know they have had romantic scenes and sex scenes on the show, but for some reason, there is no spark there. I feel whenever I'm viewing Bughead having a romantic scene or sexual scenes, it’s forced and they act like platonic friends who are intentionally trying to push a romantic connection that isn’t there at all. It is possible it’s the lack of chemistry between the two characters or even more, the two actors (Cole and Lili) but something is entirely missing. With the way that Jughead and Betty look at each other or act around each other, I don’t feel the sense that they are sexually or physically attracted to each other. They never gave each other those kinds of intriguing and passionate looks or glances. They don't have looks where there is complete and total desire or aching or desperate longing to be with each other. I’m uncertain if Jughead is physically or sexually attracted to Betty whatsoever. Affirmative, Betty is an attractive girl, but I don’t think he’s romantically attracted to her as he wants her. I think Jughead loves Betty, but I don’t think he lusts for her. If I accurately compare the way Jughead looks at Betty to the way he looked at Toni or especially Veronica, you can tell the difference. I see the physical and irresistible attraction between Jughead and Veronica. Jughead even admits he is physically and sexually attracted to Veronica in a recent season 3 episode (3x12). Jughead comments on Veronica’s physical beauty and her good looks, calling her “a hell of a good looking one” and “pretty girl.” It is an indication that Jughead holds an attraction towards Veronica. I haven’t heard Jughead express how beautiful or hot he thinks Betty is. I haven’t seen the desire that Jughead is supposed to have for Betty. At this moment in time, I’m not asking for Bughead to be a lustful, all sexual relationship. But the fact that there is little to no sexual or romantic attraction in their relationship leads me to believe there isn’t any sexual tension there. Not only do I think that Jughead isn’t sexually attracted to Betty, but I don’t think that Betty is sexually attracted to Jughead either. I do believe Betty is physically/romantically/sexually attracted to Archie in a notable addition to harboring an emotional attraction to him. That’s where Barchie is superior to Bughead: they have sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and emotional attraction. Bughead is dearly missing the romantic and sexual attraction aspects of their relationship, and that is why they lack organic chemistry. Sure they may have an emotional attraction, but that’s not enough to keep the relationship going. With Bughead, I merely don’t feel like they represent an amorous couple because they lack that romantic spark and desire. It produces an incredibly dull, non-romantic relationship. 

Bughead acts too much like an old married couple: The indisputable fact that Jughead and Betty are already working as though they are a wedded stable couple is pathetic. They are only 16 years old, yet they are acting as though they have been married for 30 or 40 years! They are just teenagers, and I don’t find it realistic for a couple to be that serious so fast at such a young age. Technically speaking, Bughead is typically the first love, teenage relationship yet they intentionally try to act like they represent a mature adult relationship. it doesn’t make sense, and it’s unrealistic. A romantic couple of 16-year-olds pretending they are lawfully married is not what teenage romance is and it’s not what typically happens in the real world. Jughead and Betty need to act accordingly like teenagers in a relationship, not two 50-year-olds who have been married for decades. Because of Bughead acting so mature for their age and acting like an elderly couple already, their relationship is very dull, stale and dry. There is little excitement and enthusiasm in the relationship. When you’re 16, and in a relationship, there is drama, there’s chaos, and there are ups and downs. A typical teenage romantic relationship doesn’t act as though they have been wed for 30 years, have a lively bunch of kids with a beloved dog, and a beautiful big house and white picket fence. It’s unrealistic, and it instantly makes Bughead look like a practical joke. The writers made a dreadful mistake making Bughead look like some old, mature couple because it just doesn’t suit two 16-year-old adolescents. For this reason, I can't take Bughead seriously.

Sprousehart is a PR or publicity couple: My final reason for disliking Bughead undoubtedly has to do with Sprousehart AKA the real-life “relationship” between Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart who portrays Jughead and Betty (Bughead). Therefore, it is recognizable for a while now that Cole and Lili are dating off-screen and they are invariably a couple. I know many fans in the Riverdale fandom are convinced that these two are the real deal and that they are in love and blah, blah, blah. But for me? I genuinely think they represent a fake PR couple. My specific reason for genuinely thinking this is because Cole and Lili have consistently failed to have any romantic or sexual on-screen chemistry as Bughead. If Cole and Lili are dating in real life and are undoubtedly in passionate love, then how come when they are portraying Bughead, they don’t have any personal chemistry at all? Shouldn’t a longtime couple that is dating off-screen be able to play a convincing romantic couple on-screen? Like I mentioned in my previous post, I critically compared Sprousehart to Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) and discussed the considerable differences between the two couples. I argued Brangelina were able to showcase their strong off-screen chemistry and their off-screen romance on the screen while they were playing a couple in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. However, Sprousehart can’t achieve the same thing as Bughead. This fact has ushered me to believe that Brangelina signifies a real couple while Sprousehart signifies a fake PR couple. Let’s not forget that the CW Network genuinely seems to specialize in aggressively pushing PR couples to reap buzz and dedicated attention and impressive ratings for their ambitious projects. Remember Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev from The Vampire Diaries? They were, also, a fake CW Network couple. Many attractive CW Network couples seem to last three to five years because it’s in their business contract and part of the deal with their management. Once the business contract is over, and the CW Network has successfully received enough buzz, earnest attention and satisfactory ratings for their specific project, then the two principal actors in the CW Network PR couple break up. That is what happened organically with Nina and Ian on TVD. They precisely dated each other for three years and then suddenly, they broke up and undoubtedly had a strange animosity towards each other. I also believe that Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush who portrayed Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis on One Tree Hill embodied a fake PR couple and were pushed simultaneously together by the WB/CW Network. That is why their marriage didn’t last because it was a business contract and their characters Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis were dating on their show. Sprousehart is falling into the same category as Nian and Chophia, two popular couples that were passionately loved and adored by longtime devoted fans of TVD and OTH respectively. Also, I have compared Sprousehart to Robsten (Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart) from the successful Twilight film franchise. Many people still believe Robsten were a real couple and that they were in love in real life. But the reality is they weren’t. Robsten represents a PR couple, and they were forced together by their executive management. Rob and Kristen’s rumored romance was to generate attention, buzz, and money for the Twilight franchise and it was abundantly obvious. Once the Twilight movie franchise was over, Kristen was captured cheating with her movie producer, and there were paparazzi photos of her cheating and canoodling with her movie producer which generated a massive scandal. But here’s the thing. Those Kristen iconic cheating photos were all staged. Kristen had those photos taken on purpose so that she could completely “break up” with Robert and get out of her business contract with him. Now that the Twilight movies were over and Rob and Kristen no longer needed to promote their movies, they could do whatever they wanted after getting out of the contract. Once Kristen and Robert were out of the PR contract, Robert immediately moved on with another attractive girl (the British rapper Twigs), and Kristen came out as bisexual and started courting other women. Another comparable couple to Sprousehart? The royal Disney Network couple, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens AKA Zanessa. They were, also, an exceedingly popular couple during the days of High School Musical. Everyone in the media was talking about them, and there was much buzz and attention generated around their off-screen romance. I believe Zanessa was a PR couple that was pushed together by the Disney Network. Zanessa dating each other screen and being seen together as a couple in genuine life was about attention, money, and ratings for HSM. Interestingly enough, there is a strong parallel between Zanessa and Sprousehart, and that is both of these “couples” had paparazzi photos of them taken while they were walking together on the beach. Nobody can tell me the photos of Sprousehart on the beach in Hawaii from last year were not staged because they were. They are practically identical to the pap photos of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens when they were on the beach together. I know I sound like a conspiracy theorist, but there have been too many similarities between Sprousehart and other PR couples like Robsten, Zanessa and Nian. If you don’t believe me about the possibility of Sprousehart being a fake PR/publicity couple, please refer to these articles and they will enlighten you about PR/publicity couples in Hollywood and show business: 1.) https://www.thetalko.com/15-celebrity-relationships-that-were-fake-and-we-believed-them/ 2.) https://www.nickiswift.com/2203/hollywood-relationships-completely-fake/ 3.) https://stars.topix.com/slideshow/15764 4.) https://www.slice.ca/love/photos/celebrity-relationships-that-might-not-have-been-real/#!staged-tom-taylor 5.) https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/gqy9dy/taylor-swift-tom-hiddleston-pr-relationships-promances 6.) https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/slideshows/12-celebrity-relationships-were-pretty-sure-are-fake/. The fundamental problem is that so many people fall for these fake PR couples because they can look pretty convincing. Therefore though a  couple may be PR and fake, so many naive people, predominantly young fans of the couple, can’t tell they aren’t a true romance and that they are only together for other purposes that traditionally have nothing to do with genuine love and romance. Now, as to why Cole and Lili are in a possibly fake PR romance? I think Cole is in the romance with Lili because it gives him attention and reignites his fame and recognition amongst the media and the public. Cole is pretty famous already due to his legendary past as an established Disney star/ child star in which he grew up in the limelight. However, being on a popular teen drama (Riverdale) and trying to get his foot back into the acting world and possibly the photography world, being in a romantic relationship with one of his co-stars is a sure way to ignite tons of media buzz along with fan attention towards him. Now, just because I believe Cole is in a PR relationship with Lili for his benefit doesn’t mean I think he’s some super cold, ruthless,  ambitious snake that is merely using Lili for his gain. It’s not to say I don’t think Cole likes Lili as a person but do I think he’s romantically involved with her? No, I don’t. At best, I would say Cole is friends with benefits with Lili, but moreover, I sincerely believe Cole is close friends and co-stars with Lili more than anything else. In contrast, I fervently believe that Lili’s key reasons for being in the PR relationship with Cole are much more ruthless and ambitious than Cole's reasons for being in the relationship with Lili. I genuinely think Lili is dating Cole for considerable publicity, established fame and generous recognition. She's undoubtedly a reasonably new and up and coming actress, and by dating Cole, who is already rather famous already, she undoubtedly gains significant attention and extraordinary popularity through her relationship with Cole. Much of the attention that Lili typically gets in the modern media and amongst the Riverdale fandom is because she is dating Cole off-screen, let’s be honest here. Sure, she commands active support herself, and there are loyal fans who like her for her acting and her personality, but it’s her “alleged relationship” with Cole that delivers that extra bit of attention in her favor. I think Lili sees money and fame where her relationship with Cole is concerned. I don’t necessarily think it's about real love and genuine romance, but more about what Cole can do for her future acting or successful Hollywood career. I harbor a distinct feeling that once Riverdale starts to wind down and comes to a close, Sprousehart is likely to break up and go their separate ways, similar to how Nian on TVD did. That’s because I  think Sprousehart is a contracted PR romance that is being used as an iconic brand to efficiently generate social attention and media buzz for Riverdale to help increase its ratings and earn money. The sad thing is many fans of Sprousehart are naive, teenaged girls who believe that life faithfully imitates cinematic art and that like Bughead, Sprousehart are true love and are traditionally the modern-day epic romance. But grievously, they couldn’t be more incorrect. Now, what I’m stating could all be untrue, but I’m only going by what I’ve observed so far with Sprousehart. It is possible I’m mistaken, and they are genuine, but there hasn’t been enough proof or evidence for me to believe otherwise. I also believe that Sprousehart is severely overexposed and overrated, and they are too exposed to modern media. They are too exposed for an odd couple that scarcely has any unique chemistry. Sprousehart is no Humphrey Bogart & Lauren Bacall or Richard Burton & Elizabeth Taylor. Hell, Sprousehart isn’t even Brangelina. As a result, I can’t understand for the life of me why this “couple” is so overexposed in the media. Sprousehart is overhyped, and because of them, the prominent writers have voluntarily chosen to cater to them and Bughead by writing fan service. The sole reason why Bughead is still together on the successful show is because of Sprousehart, the fake PR celebrity couple. The network and the writers know that they have a huge naive fanbase of teenage girls who worship them, and they know that if they break them up, all hell will break loose on the internet. Bughead and Sprousehart by possible extension will represent the imminent downfall of Riverdale, and it will be undoubtedly those two odd couples that will ultimately be this shows demise. 

Those are all of my reasons for hating Bughead. Now that I have listed all my reasons, you can understand why I believe this couple is the worst thing to happen to Riverdale and why I think that this ship needs to sink fast. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. ☮️