#anons who have messaged me the last couple weeks - this is all you're getting

[lurkingshan]

why do you continue to watch gmmtv shows when you clearly don’t enjoy them?

This is the kind of rude, cowardly anonymous ask that I would typically just delete, but I’m in the mood to be generous so I will respond and use it as an educational moment.

I have to start by rejecting your premise. I enjoy plenty of GMMTV shows. My favorite Thai bl of this year is Cherry Magic Thailand. I wrote quite lovingly about it on this hellsite for 12 weeks. I was also a big fan of Cooking Crush and The Trainee this year, Kidnap is giving me joy weekly, and I’m currently in the midst of a really interesting discussion with people far more mature than you about Peaceful Property. GMMTV is also responsible for some of my all time favorite Thai shows including Bad Buddy, 3 Will Be Free, Midnight Museum, Theory of Love, Moonlight Chicken, and Dark Blue Kiss, and many more besides that I liked a lot. You don't know me. You have made the mistake of assuming that because you’ve seen a small fraction of my posts about specific things, you know what I think about all kinds of things. But as my beloved departed grandfather loved to say, when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. 

So with that out of the way, let’s get to the real question underneath your logical fallacy: why don’t I keep my mouth shut instead of posting about the flaws I observe in these shows? There are a number of reasons for that.

First, I am extremely open about the fact that I am interested in the art and science of narrative storytelling, and I often post about it from a critical lens. This is all in the pinned post at the top of my blog, but I doubt someone with your lack of manners bothered to look there before sending me this ask. 

Second, I don’t believe in the popular fandom idea that all meta discussion of shows should be positive and centered on stanning for actors or pairs and their shows. That's a fine pursuit for folks who enjoy engaging with media that way, but I personally find that boring and intellectually empty, and have very little interest in it. I like to learn from the things I enjoy, and you can't learn if you're not willing to think critically about why something in a story may or may not be working.

Third, my favorite thing about watching media is discussing it with like-minded people, and the way to find like-minded people is to share your honest feelings about what you're watching. I have made some of the best friends of my life by posting my unfiltered thoughts about whatever I'm watching in various social media spaces, and having people come and say "hey, me too" or "I don't quite agree but what an interesting thought." We connect with others through sharing our thoughts and feelings. If you censor yourself in fandom spaces, you will not find your people.

Fourth, on the specific topic of GMMTV: they are the largest and best resourced ql-producing studio in the biggest ql-producing country, and part of a giant media conglomerate that controls much of the media in Thailand. Their shows matter in terms of the influence they have over the rest of the industry, and so the messages they send with their shows also matter. I will never ignore them completely even when I choose not to watch some of their shows, because where they go, the larger ql industry follows. When I see a trend in their shows that is harmful, like, say, the repeated use of marginalized identities for marketing their shows that they then disrespect in the way the stories are executed, that needs to be pointed out and examined, and I am hardly the only one doing so.

I'll end by asking you a question, anon: what did you hope to accomplish by sending me this ask? Unlike many of the other folks who have been engaging in critical discussion with me over the last couple days, you had nothing constructive to say. You didn't put forward an interpretation or share your own feelings, you didn't contribute to the collective analysis process, and you didn't offer any commiseration or even a clear disagreement with anything I said. From where I'm sitting, your only intent was to attempt to shame me for speaking. You will never be successful at that, and it's a pretty ugly impulse that you should examine in yourself. When you find yourself being awful to real human beings because you can't manage your emotions about fictional media, it's time to think about what you're doing here. I hope you'll reflect on that, and take good care.

[nextinline-if]

Hi! How are you?

Short answer and the more polite answer since I don't think people on the internet want to hear my rants - I'm managing. I'm in therapy. On medication. Getting help and just taking it one day at a time right now.

Thanks for checking in anon and anyone else who has sent a message. I haven't abandoned the game. And I know that it doesn't help that I have no update now but I'm just kind of in the "I have to get my shit together or else" kind of place right now. I've spent years and years avoiding mental health and it's caught up with me.

Rants below just to provide some sort of update on why things are where they are, but feel free to ignore them.

I'm feeling lots of feelings at the moment. It's almost May and I've not really accomplished much at all this year. My mother-in-law is in the hospital, and the NHS just wants to send her home instead of helping her. I'm feeling incredibly helpless and useless as a partner, how do you support your partner through this? Doing my best but I'm so frustrated and can't do anything to make it better or make anyone listen and help my mother-in-law.

My employer is probably going under financially and many things don't sit right with my values so I'm stressing about finding a new job. Obviously grateful to have work but it's taken a huge toll on my mental health. I've dedicated dozens of hours each week to job hunting and interviewing - I feel so burnt out but can't afford to let up.

My therapist has asked me not to do any writing of any kind. She believes I am not in a place where this is productive for my mental health. I've always used writing as an outlet. These last couple of months have been difficult. I have not touched my journals, scripts, or games. My fingers ache to write but I don't want to let all my progress go up in flames so alas, this Tumblr ask is the most I've written in months and I can only hope I get better soon so that won't be the truth. I probably shouldn't have written this even but I've been feeling so guilty, every day it crosses my mind that I've just gone MIA on here.

If you read this, you're a gem and I'm sorry if it's too personal - I just don't want anyone to think I've abandoned things. I'm just really focused on healing right now because I have to focus on it.

Wishing you the best.

-Vi

[dearweirdme]

just wanna ask how has your year been? hope you're okay :D

Hi anon!

Thanks for asking 😊.

It’s been a good year, I’ve been happy 😊. I haven’t always been happy the last ten years or so, and a lot of that had to do with me not being able to be me. After separating from my kid’s dad last year things finally started to get better.

I was a bit scared of being a single mom, but I can now honestly say that I am doing very well. I’m still a chaotic mess always, but at least now I’m a happy one. I have a good relationship with my ex these days. My kid is happy… and I finally get to be me again.

This year I even discovered parts of me that I didn’t realize existed, and I came to understand parts of me that I didn’t before. It’s been great, though also shocking at times 😂. Getting to know myself better has given me self esteem. I’m a bit weird (at least that’s how I’ve always felt), but I am now able to just claim my weird parts and feel comfortable about it. There still things I struggle with, and there probably always will be. I’ve found that that’s something everyone deals with though, just maybe in different areas of life.

To give an update on my queer journey. Still very single! I have discovered that I have a type when it comes to women.. and it’s different from my type in men. A couple of months ago I decided on a whim to join an online dating site… I want love. I miss having someone to love and having someone who loves me (aside from my kid, friends and family ofcourse.. but that’s just different). So.. I subscribed.. opted for both men and women… and got a LOT of likes and messages almost immediately. I was shocked! I had no clue wether I would still be seen as attractive and/or interesting at 42, but apparently I still am. Needless to say, it was good for my self esteem 😊. However, me being weird and all…. All those messages made me feel super overwhelmed and I basically freaked out over having to reply to everyone (don’t want to be rude 😂)… so I freaked out.. ended up ghosting everyone for a week, before I decided to just delete the whole thing. This just wasn’t it for me. It’s fine though. My life is super busy. I rarely feel actually lonely. It’s more of a future wish than me actually wanting to be with someone as soon as possible. It just has to be the right person I think.

So yeah, that’s me 😊.

[luveline]

where I've been

Honestly! I know that the plagiarism (or too heavy inspiration) that's been happening for the last few months was accidental, but that doesn't stop it from making me feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about it. I'm so put off from writing, opening tumblr in general fills me with dread, worried I'll see another message about it. I don't know why I can't seem to get over it, I think it just cold honest truth sucks. I don't regret the way I handled things or anything like that, it's entirely over, and I don't resent anyone for it, but I just can't get over this gutted feeling I have when I think about it. The anxiety has been extreme.

I'm also insecure about my writing recently which feels so redundant like you're so wound up over people nabbing your style when you don't even like it — I know. I can't pretend to understand it. I feel like a fucking idiot pretty much every day over this and I'm so fed up and I miss writing and this community so much, I'm so embarrassed with myself for continuing to feel this way over old news

Plus a barrage of work and everconstant health issues (which are admittedly worse than my writing worries), I'm pretty much done. I feel so defeated and shitty and pathetic. I think about all the fic I've written and I feel sick because I worry I'm wasting myself and my efforts with whatever this hiccup is.

And I'm trying so hard to be kind to myself, taking all the right things and you know coming out the other side, taking care of myself again, keeping my journal optimistically.

I really don't know what my problem is. Hate comments I can't kick, extreme anxiety over my future, friends and family. I want to just be happy and come back to where I was and to stop crying over spilled milk. I NEVER want other peoples mistakes or actions to affect my relationship with writing but it's just felt a little too much. I hate that I've let anonymous messages and everything effect me so much.

I'm so sorry to all the people who've been checking in on me, friends and anons and mutuals alike, for not getting back to you, or for not reaching out to see how you're doing. I have no trouble admitting how in awe I am of the impossible kindness the majority of you possess, and this patience you have with me despite my being such a hot mess of awful. I really just hate myself so much for not being able to shake how I feel, I'm really sorry for anyone who's felt unhappy with me these couple of weeks, and I really hope I can do better by you all and get it together

[not-poignant]

I was watching RotG and suddenly I could only see the meme with the increasingly large dominos. With the small domino being 'Pia watching RotG' and the big domino being 'Efnisien, Gary, Anton, Temsen, Gwyn and Augus all starring in the same a/b/o fic'. Does RotG hold a special place for you, thinking of all the stories you've written since?

Hmm,

Yes and no? There's an even smaller domino you're not seeing which is that I had written original characters and stories before this, and Augus in particular was based off an original character I'd written before (and not published) so like, Rise of the Guardians didn't *invent* him, I did, years before I ever watched the movie. But there's also dominoes that drove me out of the fandom, and it was my bitterness re: the fandom that prompted the writing of original fic in the first place.

So let me tell you a story, anon. If you don't want to know how toxic the RotG fandom could be, I recommend you just walk away now and know that no, actually, RotG doesn't have a special place in my heart, knowing I wrote original fic to initially escape the way some small pockets of that fandom treated me. Otherwise I would have written RotG fiction for far far longer, because as the old-timers will remember, I actually had a couple of longfic ideas lined up to go immediately after SAL that I abandoned because of well...everything.

I actually spent a while after finishing SAL kind of hating Rise of the Guardians because of some nasty drama and meanness/spite towards me, particularly in the last few chapters, and it took about 2-3 years before I could even consider watching the movie again or write for the fandom again. And then by the time I'd come back, all of my original stuff was established, and I felt a lot more comfortable, and a lot more 'fuck the haters' with some of the stuff I had previously had to deal with.

(Fandom wank beneath the cut, lol)

For example (self-harm and suicide mention) one person would specifically post graphic horrible self-harm photos complete with blood tagged into the RotG and blackice tag/s specifically to coincide with my chapter releases towards the end of SAL - and she was a BNF in the fandom in her own way, so *everyone* kind of knew who she was and what she was doing - and she blamed me and my story for the self-harm, and so I had people coming to me going 'do you realise what this story is doing to this person, don't you even care.' And of course I felt horribly guilty and distressed, but I was also at this point around 7/8 chapters from finishing the story, wanting to give everyone a happy ending, and after posting the last chapter I broke down and cried because I was just so relieved that I didn't have to be tormented by this specific person anymore or see these images as a survivor of suicide attempts and self-harm myself.

But also just crying out of sheer distress because of how horrible those last few weeks were, because like, if it wasn't for the readers I would have walked away due to the pressure and bullying and coercion to get out of the fandom just because I had a story that some folks enjoyed reading. That was a level of targeted hate I'd never encountered before, and have never encountered since.

Around that time a couple of small hate groups started up about me, and I would get messages like 'you realise there are hate groups about you, right?' and I'd be like 'please don't tell me about this, people can hate me, leave them alone.' Then there was the time I just got - over around 10 days - about 100+ messages telling me to kill myself because of SAL and how 'horrible' it was re: it's 'really dark themes' which I find hilarious now, but back then, was actually really stressful when it coincided with someone literally *harming themselves* or posting old self-harm photos on days I posted a chapter, talking about how the reason she was doing it was because she hated that my story was so popular when it didn't deserve to be.

Like, no, I did not have a special relationship with Rise of the Guardians by then, or the fandom. I hated it. It's why I stopped writing for it when previously I literally had so many ideas I wanted to write for Jack/Pitch. For years after that. I would remember the good memories I'd made with SAL, but a lot of readers followed me into original works. And otherwise, all I remembered was being forced to see those photos and this person's tags if I went into the tags to look for fanart to share and promote. I'd made some very good friends (some very best friends, actually), and some of us got the hell out of that fandom as fast as we possibly could to escape these people.

So like, I would love to say that like, I feel nothing but fond memories thinking of the influence Rise of the Guardians has had on me, but no fandom that I've ever been in has ever had this kind of level of underground viciousness that developed as the story gained momentum.

When I wrote The Golden Age that Never Was I was truly detached from the fandom and the movie. I was writing based on my memories and feelings of the characters. I didn't look in the tags like I used to, and instead looked for when I was mentioned directly. I had a spike of anxiety every time I got an anon message while writing it, and I had to like...avoid fics and a bunch of other stuff to get through it.

I have watched Rise of the Guardians since and I do really enjoy it, but...I don't see the dominoes the same way you do anon, probably because of the way it all happened in my head, though I do think putting original writing on AO3 happened partly because I was in a hurry to get out of the RotG fandom. So in a way RotG is connected to that, but like, only because I was fleeing and abandoning all of my Pitch/Jack ideas as I went (to the point where people remembered them and still asked me about them years later and I was like 'haha oh no sorry I'm not writing those oh well maybe one day!')

Chances are high I actually wouldn't have written original fiction if my love for Rise of the Guardians had still stayed strong. I was ready to write two very specific longfics, and had done worldbuilding for both, and was talking openly about them, but towards the end of SAL I bolted from the fandom as fast as I could. The hate I got from specific corners of the RotG fandom is one of the reasons I started writing Game Theory before SAL was even finished - to cope with how I felt about the end of SAL and the hatred I was getting there. When some of those folks said 'omg I'll never read a story about Augus' I was literally like 'oh thank fuck, I'm going to be left alone now.'

Like...I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia like 6 months after that, I cracked teeth because of how stressed I was, and I still have crowns in my mouth and teeth removed because of that whole period. I was sleeping an average of 3 hours a night.

...I feel a very special fondness for the people who supported me at the time, especially my good friend Silvia, who is still my beta and friend today. She is responsible for far more of the dominoes that have led to this moment than Rise of the Guardians could ever directly be. And I am extraordinarily grateful for the readers who have found my stuff since. Now the majority of readers of my original stuff have never actually seen Rise of the Guardians or read my RotG fics, and like, actually sometimes that's really nice, if a bit weird.

I have never, in my life, encountered a fandom that could get as toxic as pockets of Rise of the Guardians got, and I'm including Dragon Age: Inquisition in that, which had literal blocklists of asexual people, so you know I mean business! But as a final point, I do want to say the majority of people there were amazing, absolutely amazing, this is truly a case of a few bad apples spoiling the whole experience, and I'm still to this day gutted it happened like that, and have zero surprise a lot of people left the fandom all at once, at the same time, because of it.

[helinyetille]

Hey, it's the schnaul girly anon again 😅 I'm new to the fandom (like really new, couple of weeks 🙈) and my blog right now is something vastly different to Rammstein, that's why I choose to stay anon, so I don't mix them up. I'm actually so close to creating a new one for this new obsession, but I haven't had that final push yet 😅 I've been kinda stalking yours and and a couple of other blogs these past weeks and having the best time with all that new content, so thank you very much, haha 😁🥰 I kinda went from 0 to 100 really quick, now even writing fanfic (only for myself just yet) and getting tickets for two of their shows, I'm so excited about that omg 😁 so yeah, it's difficult to express all my feelings in this 'short' ask and I feel like I'm rambling already. Just know that you encapsulated my feelings about Schnaul perfectly in your answer. I love these casual touches here and there, with them being so comfortable around each other that they're not thinking twice about it. They're so used to it and them allowing us to see them affectionate like that, not bothered about what some people might say, I'm head over heels, I love it so much 😍😂 and about the boating... YES, they should definitely mix it up, get some new dynamics in there. Schneider's just too kind I guess 😇 and one last thing, I just found this, lost it again, spend ½hour desperately searching, thinking I'm already imaging stuff and then finally... Omg, I can't, they're adorable 🥹🥹😍 https://www.tumblr.com/abyssphilosopher/725538481293623296?source=share

Hey nonnie and thank you for reaching out again! ✨ Okay, wow, I have so many thoughts right now that I'm going to put everything under the cut as it also gets a bit personal.

First of all, I want you to know that your messages really put a smile on my face! I'm oddly flattered that you found my silly little blog worthy of stalking. I have started actively blogging here just a couple of months ago after a really long hiatus and even though I'm not new to Rammstein, I'm still kind of new to the fandom, so you and I are in the same boat (just like Paul and Schneider should be). I don't know whether you need words of encouragement to create a Rammstein blog, but I'll just say that the main reason I decided to blog again was interacting with people who share my love for this band. Sometimes I feel like a sad clown entertaining myself and myself only which is basically the reason why I made that gif with the sad clown Schneider for my header :D Sitting all alone while the party is raging, you know? So, thank you for sending an ask, and if you feel comfortable enough, you can always DM me. I'm not making any assumptions, but maybe it will help you to feel more welcome in the fandom 🌈

Secondly, I'm excited to know that you love these dorks so much ❤ It's so cool that you're going to see them live! And you have totally piqued my interest when you mentioned the fanfic, even though you are writing it just for yourself. I love fics, headcanons and, of course, thinking and talking about ships, hehe. Like, show me the prompt and my dumb ass will be instantly imagining her favourite idiots in different kinds of situations 😁

And finally, the video you have linked... OH MY GOD ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? (pls don't stop) How fucking cute are they? How dare they be so adorable? Now I'm watching it on repeat because I'm absolutely mesmerized by the way Schneider is leaning into a kiss without stopping his drumming (well, no wonder here, baby still has to keep playing the song despite being showered with affection) 💔 Oh, and the fact that Paul is almost always the one initiating physical contact with Schneider makes me feral. When it comes to Paulchard, it feels like Richard is more often the one to initiate, but why does Paul's ass seem to be gravitating toward Schneider so much? Is Schneider really that much of a sun that he warps spacetime and pulls Paul toward himself? Yes, he is. The brightest of the stars but probably not the brightest when it comes to other things (100% affectionately) 💖

Welp, my reply turned out to be way longer than I initially planned. Sorry for rambling too much, but thank you once again for messaging me, much love to you! ❤✨

[friendlytacosyumyum]

Izuku x daughter of all for one forbidden love trope please?

hello anon! thank you so much for requesting :) i hope you like the direction i took this in!

pairing: izuku midoriya x all for one!daughter!reader

type: fic

wc: 1.5k

tw: reader is not gender neutral, reader has she/they pronouns, reader uses femme aligned words (woman, beautiful, pretty, etc.), mild swearing

a/n: i listened to mary on a cross on REPEAT while writing this pls forgive the song references. i've also read all of the manga but i haven't watched the new season so i apologize if its not up to date (i didn't want to spoil things that weren't out yet lmao)

You sighed, staring at your phone for the umpteenth time.

He'd call, right? He always called.

Izuku- your boyfriend of almost three months- had been radio silent for the past week. You were terrified. You knew, of course, that he could just be busy with his hero work and school, what with him being at UA and you being homeschooled by your father. However, the nagging thought that something happened to him was always on your mind.

Your father was his sworn enemy, despite looking like an elbow and being literally over 100 years old. You'd thought he'd grow out of the obsession with Midoriya, but he hadn't, and it had only grown worse recently after the huge fight between All Might and All For One.

Yeah. Your father was All For One, holder of quirks that could change the very being of a person.

Sighing again, you glanced back down at your phone. Your message remained unanswered, a question that had been pestering you since you started dating Izuku.

Are you sure you want to do this?

He'd fallen first, and he'd fallen hard. You tried your best to keep your distance, to make sure that you stayed away, because lord knows what your father would do if he found out you were not only dating, but possibly in love with someone who you were supposed to hate. His goal was for you to track down and take his quirk once you were of age, then take his quirk. He sent you letters from his jail cell whenever possible, encoded with secret messages and hints on how to get to Midoriya. You'd burned every last one.

A tap at the window made you look up, bringing you out of your jumbled thoughts. There, standing at your window, was Izuku Midoriya, dressed in winter clothing and looking sheepish as he motioned for you to let him inside. Rushing to your feet, you hurried and unclasped the window latch, hands shaking as you did so.

"'Zuku?" You asked, staring at him dumbly. "Why're you here?"

He smiled, dusting off his clothes and taking his shoes off to set in the corner of your room (always tidy, always neat).

"Well, considering I haven't seen you in a week and you're doubting me again, I thought I'd drop by and convince you otherwise."

Guilt flooded your mind. He was upset, wasn't he? No matter how many times he told you that it was okay, and that he wanted this relationship, you couldn't help but be skeptical. Skeptical and scared. What if he was using you to get to your dad? What if he didn't want to be with you at all, and he was really just scared of what you could do? You'd been born with a myriad of quirks, after all. Turns out your father's experiments had accidentally passed an abnormal amount of quirks to you, and you were stuck with the consequences. While you didn't have your father's main quirk - All For One - you had several offshoots that he stole from others. Various elemental quirks, a couple shape-shifting ones, some that had to do with illusions, others with fighting, and it was terrifying. You were scared to use them, scared to even find out the true extent of your powers. If you were scared of yourself, how scared was Izuku of you? Was that why he stayed? What if he never liked you? What if-

"(y/n)?"

You looked up, startled.

"You okay? I've been trying to get your attention for like, five minutes."

Staring at him, everything you'd been worrying about rushed through your mind on top speed.

"Do you..." you started, trailing off. Midoriya waited, saying nothing. He waited for you to finish your sentence, but didn't pester or discourage you.

"Do you still... want this? Want me? I could really hurt you, 'Zuku."

He opened his mouth to respond, but you pressed on, too wound up to stop speaking once you started.

"I mean, there's always the possibility that you never wanted me and you're just trying to get to my dad, right? Or that you're on a mission to take me out before I can hurt someone. Or that you're secretly here to use me and manipulate me emotionally so that I'll kill my father for you and that way you don't have to do anything. Or that you're too scared of me to tell me that you don't want to do this, because you're worried I'll hurt you."

The words rushed out in a blur, and when you shut your mouth, there were tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You looked down, unable to meet Midoriya's eyes.

He said nothing for a long moment, standing with you in silence. Then a hand slowly lifted your face up to look at him, forcing you to meet his eyes.

They really were windows to the soul, you thought, watching how the colors in his irises seemed to swirl and change the longer you stared. Izuku had always worn his heart on his sleeve, after all, and you could see it in his eyes.

"If I didn't want this, why would I be standing in your room right now, reassuring you that I do, in fact, still want you?"

You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

He has a point.

"Listen, (y/n), I like you. I like you a lot. I like how when you get timid you can't make eye contact with me because you're not used to speaking your mind. I like how you're independent. I like how you've broken free from the chains holding you back. I like the way your eyes light up when you see something you like and how you laugh when you're nervous and how you scrunch your nose when you don't like something. I'll say it a million times if I have to," Midoriya said to you, still looking directly into your eyes. He was close enough to count the freckles on his cheeks, so you did.

Eight freckles. Hm.

Something inside you wanted to know if he had more freckles on his arms, legs, chest, everywhere. Something inside you felt warm and fuzzy at the idea of him staying long enough for him to let you do that. Something inside you wanted to stare at him and count those eight freckles over and over again until he fell asleep or laughed and twirled you around and around to make you so dizzy you couldn't see straight enough to count anymore.

"Your beauty never, ever, scared me. I promise. There's nothing about you I could be terrified of. You have more than one quirk? I've got more than one quirk. We're a match, (y/n), quirk for quirk, eye for eye, scar for scar."

The tears that had been hitting the corners of your eyes finally started to fall, and you let them, blinking slowly through them.

"To hell with your father, okay? I don't care about that- that thing. Sure, he wouldn't approve of this, but when has that ever stopped you, or me, from doing something we want to?"

You nodded carefully, subconsciously leaning into the hand that was holding your face up so you'd look at Midoriya.

"I," you started, choking on a breath as you hiccupped a little.

"I just don't want him to hurt you. I don't want to see you hurt when I can't do anything to help."

He nodded, looking thoughtful for a second before speaking again.

"Come to UA with me."

You stared at him. Was he insane? UA was for heroes. Heroes. You were a daughter of the most infamous villains in Japan. There's no way you'd be accepted there.

"We could work something out, I'm sure our teacher would love to have you in our class."

He was smiling now, to himself or to you, you couldn't tell.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know he's not here right now, but what happens when he gets back and finds me missing?"

You knew, logically, that it was unlikely All For One would ever get out of prison. However, this was your father Izuku was talking about. He was one crafty son of a bitch.

"We'd protect you. C'mon (y/n), don't you want to be free?"

The way he spoke sounded so hopeful, so happy, that you didn't want to deny him the chance. It wouldn't hurt to try, right?

"Okay," you said softly, the corners of your mouth turning up a bit.

"Okay?" he asked, and you nodded.

"Great! Let me make a few calls and we can start-"

You grabbed his hand, quick to cut him off.

"Um, can that wait until tomorrow? It's been a week since I last saw you and I was kinda hoping that... maybe we could just hang out a bit?"

Midoriya gave you that closed-eye smile you loved, pulling you over to your bed and grabbing your laptop from the nightstand, putting it in between the two of you.

"Yeah. Yeah we can, (y/n)."

A few weeks after that, your father did escape from prison. By then, however, you were safe at UA, learning to become one of the heroes who would stop your dad in his tracks.

And if he came back to a very strongly worded letter that you may have accidentally-on-purpose left in plain sight for him to see, well, that was your business.

-fin-

[forlorn-crows]

Doing anon because I’m afraid I’ve annoyed you in the last couple weeks but here we go

You are amazing crow, who cares if you don’t feel up to writing, I’ve been unable to truly write in months and sometimes I feel awful but here’s the thing, it’s your hobby that you do for yourself. Yes you do requests for others but writing is something that YOU do. Something that you do absolutely amazing at, i adore seeing when a new post comes from you, no matter if it’s a reblog or an actual post, it brings me joy to see you having fun

Ghost is honestly part of the entire reason I haven’t sunk any lower into my depression than I have before. I have made friends here and discovered a community that has brought such joy that I haven’t felt in years. I love that you found it too, if that’s what’s keeping you going then that’s that. You have something to live for. We all adore you in this fandom and I ask so love you as a person because you seem so lovely and cool. Also love that I have a fellow Mountain spouse to add to the collection <3

Your a strong, amazing person who deserves all the love and support in the world. My dms are always open to you if you wanna talk or just get sent a random ghoul or mountain pic. I adore you Crow and I’m sorry if I have annoyed you with anything, I hope you can forgive me

- 🥃

to be completely honest, i have never had a time where ive had so many wonderful people like. want to talk to me and interact with me. its hard for my brain to understand. i promise i look at everyone's messages, and im sorry if i dont respond. i mean to, always. but my brain truly makes me forget things so easily. it doesnt help tumblr buries things easily either

i can promise you have not upset me in any way, and you are not annoying. i am just a struggling human being who doesn't know what they did to deserve such kind people. and i really really appreciate everything you've said here. pls message me when you're able <3

xx

[enchantechante]

Hey Tae and hey last anon! This gonna be long :

Anon...THOSE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE!!!PERIODT!!!

Sis,when I was reading your message,I saw soooo much of my OLD self in it(years 2012-2021 to be exact).I WAS that woman who was ALWAYS there for EVERYONE no matter how I was treated in return.I would ALWAYS come up with excuses when it came to the treatment of being treated as if I WASN'T important in other people's lives. I would be like...oh,well MAYBE they are busy and have a lot going on? Because that's life and all of us go through shit even if it's not mentioned. But man,listen! I was really playing BOO BOO THE FOOL! Two of my EX bestfriends got away with soooo much because I knew they really were going through so I let things slide then they started skating on a bih! Lol. I heard the same excuses... I got a lot going on,I forgot to call you back man you know my memory bad,I thought you probably didn't want to talk,I know you hate talking on the phone,I was depressed,you could've called me,I lost your number etc.

Like,say what? I was there for both of them when I barely had and was struggling to get on my feet!Even when one of them was locked up(he was the most ungrateful and in the end thought he was better than me, picture that,lol) and the others mom passed/he was jobless and without a home,I WAS THERE TEN TOES DOWN because that's what real friends do!

I provided money,years worth of time, support and inspiring them daily to not lose their shit!I tried to get my guys to eat better etc.

While I was working two sometimes three jobs six days a week,mom battling cancer,uncle ill, catching cabs to and from because my car broke down, depressed for real, struggling with being bipolar,hair coming out ,skin breaking out etc.

Meanwhile,they would NEVER text or call me to check and see how I was,my mom,NOT NOTHING!

I felt worthless and was considering suicide!I had no one to turn to other than talking to God and my sweet mama.

I woke up one morning and said fuck it!Fuck my so called friends and fuck my mindset!I told myself it was time to make a change in EVERY part of my life and I did!

I deleted their numbers and blocked them on social media including a couple others.I focused on myself for seven months.I lost weight(85 lbs),got my money up, credit right,fell in love with ME and met amazing people.I even got started with real estate.When I think about that I laugh.WHY?Because one of my EX friends is the one who made it seem like I wouldn't make it in real estate because he knew more than me and at the time,had more connections than I did.GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE I'M JUST GETTING STARTED AND ABOUT TO PURCHASE LAND! 😩🤭😂

It's crazy how life will turn around in a positive way once you release what's not meant for you and also FOCUS ON YOU!

What's also even more crazy is more than likely you will cross paths with those SAME people who treated you like shit and took you for granted once you really get your life together!

And when that happens,still SAY FUCK EM!Ain't no spinning the block on a REAL good person who IS genuine and did EVERYTHING out of love and NEVER counted them favors!You'll see what I mean baby girl!Release everyone who makes it seem as if you're too hard to love or show up for!Nothing is wrong with you!I wish you the best with EVERYTHING!and once again,FUCK ANYBODY WHO DON'T POUR INTO YOU LIKE YOU DO THEM. Leave them where they had you fucked up at boo! PERIDOT!!! 😉

me, cackling through the mssg 😂:

yall are hilarious!

And thank you for this thoughtful response.

Youve caught on to something really empowering & often hard to see at times like this.

Our love and care are powerful.

Pouring out for ppl who only take (regardless of the reason) will drain you. Not just during those interactions, but draining you of energy that could make a real difference in your own life.

Creating boundaries w ppl, like blocking them on social media, closes that drain.

We decide how long we suffer w bad friends. We need our own friendship deeply, before anyone else.

i love yall sm

[jungwnies]

hello, hello, hello

hi! maeby baby <3, by the nickname I guess you know who it is ^^

i’m back! haha i don’t remember exactly when was the last time i sent a message but now i’m back, if im honest i was still scrolling on tumblr but mostly just reblogging and occasionally reading

last time we talked i was on a low point in my life and i can gladly say that im so much better than back then 🫶🏻

still get my moments but not like back then, a couple of things have happen here and there but the most recent is that i took a test on april and result are up by the end of may so im looking forward to that, also i’m taking nail art classes ^^ they’re so fun!! since I was a little girl i've been really into beauty and before moving out of my hometown (around 5 years ago) i was taking classes but couldn’t finish the course :((

im really excited too cause on june my best friend is visiting for the first time in 4 years!! we always have video calls and text but i seriously miss him so much and im sosososo excited to finally meet each other again :’)

anyways, how are you? how have you been? im all ears for you <3<3

i missed coming in here but definitely will be writing more again ^^

love youuu

- 🧸anon

oh em geeeeee, it's truly been so long!!! 😭

i'm so glad to hear you're doing better to be honest, that really warms my heart :) i took my own break from tumblr but im so glad to see we came back around the same times <3 i hope you did sooo well on your test, i just know you aced it for real love. also same??? well i'm not taking nail classes but i've been doing my own nails and it really saves me hundreds of dollars??! also so glad to hear your excitement towards meeting you friend again, i wish i could see all my friends again it's really a bittersweet feeling LOL, i'm so happy for you!!!

i've been pretty good honestly, except today i literally sprained my ankle... i don't even know how it happened. i'm okay though, exam season is killing me but it'll be over in like 2 weeks thank god <3

i've missed seeing you in my inbox omggg, i hope to see more of you and i wish you literally nothing but the best <3

love u too <333333333

[boydepartment]

Hi, it's been a minute since the last long sheep anon message. :] I can't say I can fully understand what you are going through right now since I've haven't dealt with a major loss in my life yet, but I do hope that you take whatever steps you need to feel better.

I know in my last message I said that I wished I had a manuel on how to live life. But, I also think that people need to live life at their own pace and in their own way. There's no one in the world that can live your life for yourself. If you live your life following what others think you should do, you can't really call that living. So don't let anyone tell you exactly how to live your life or how to feel, because they aren't and can't be you.

I've heard the phrase, "it's okay to cry" before, but what I don't hear a lot is "it's okay not to cry". To anyone who needs to hear this, it's okay to not be devastated over a loss for the rest of your life. People are different and will react in different ways. It is not a betrayal and you're not guilty of anything if you don't feel sad all the time.

A core idea behind my messages is the phrase "you are not alone". Loneliness is a really dangerous emotion that everyone will have to deal with at some point in their lives. It can be incredibly isolating and suffocating dealing with something by yourself. Maybe it's because of my own experiences or its the negative stigma behind crying, but saying "don't cry" has never been helpful for me in the past. So instead of saying don't cry, I'll say that I will be beside you and we can get through this crazy life together. <3

Stay hydrated everyone! Crying takes a lot of energy and water, so make sure to replenish yourself. I've had oatmeal with honey after a long cry and it really did make me feel better. It's so amazing that we get to coexist at the same time and that our paths have crossed, so let's see what the future holds together, okay?

-🐑

Hi sheepie. I apologize it took me so long to reply to this. This week has not be kind to me in the slightest. I did think about this message though for a couple days and I’ve had a few good cries after what happened. I ended up losing a friend this week too, though that doesn’t really have an effect on me. She was really mean to me constantly.

I really hope you don’t have to experience something like this in a long time sheepie. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, it’s really hard and I have too much experience of grieving even from a young age.

Anyways, i hope you are doing well. If this message is all over the place I once again apologize. It’s 5:30am and I woke up an hour ago because of a couple nightmares. I’ll be okay though, I know I’ve been through something similar so I know I’ll get through it. Life just gets hard sometimes. I really hope to hear from you again soon, I’m very thankful for you sheepie :) it’s almost like you’re a pen pal

[ghostly-punk]

You’ve changed so much since we met and it’s so sad that you’re not the person i used to be friends with. Changing isn’t bad and people can change and i don’t have a problem with that and i still like you as you but i think I’ll never be close friends with you. i desperately want to be friends with you but I can’t approach you not because of you but because of my own thoughts that I will never be a worthy friend to you. I wanted to be someone who you could trust or at least like but I just couldn’t be who i wanted to be. I hope i don’t trouble you, I just wanted to get this out of myself. It’s not your fault, it never was from the beginning, it’s just me and my stupid thoughts. i’m sorry.

Hey hey cmon don't be sorry! It's okay!!! I know you're on anon but I'm sure you're a genuinely amazing person, if we've talked before and I just don't respond I'm sorry, I will take blame on that since it does happen, it's on me, I'll get overwhelmed and forget to come back to a message and that's not right of me to leave you without an explanation. I love making friends and I can guarantee that if you shoot me a message I can carry the conversation if it'd help you, or we can just see how it goes on its own. Trust me, me of all people know what it's like to have troubles with your own thoughts and insecurities, these past couple of days have been filled to the brim with over thinking and a lot of bad thoughts and actions on my end.

To give you an idea that I'm not actually as silly or happy go lucky as I used to be. I'll tell you some things of what's happened just this week (or last week? Technically?) To start, I relapsed. I'm a recovering anorexic and I relapsed to due a lot of emotions, those emotions stemming from a person I now associate with really bad emotions but couldn't let go of because I kept thinking something bad would happen if I did, I only just recently blocked them on everything because of the support from my partner. Speaking of my boyfriend, while it wasn't an argument we did have our issues during this time, a lot of them being from me. I can assure you that your thoughts are just bologna, you're a worthy person to call my friend, nobody is made to be alone and that includes you. I'm not perfect or someone you should be 'worthy' to talk to. I'm a person just like everyone else, just like you :)

[nocturnalazura]

Reassured You're Worth It

Todoroki Shoto x Virgin Fem!Reader

Minors do not interact.

Warnings| 18+, Loss of Virginity, multiple orgasms, Oral (fem receiving), fingering, minor over stimulation, unprotected sex, cream pie

All characters are aged up

Summary: You've always been a little unsure and nervous about finally losing your virginity, you're boyfriend always said that it was fine but sometimes you over think. So when you get into your own head he helps reassure you and you finally make a decision that you've thought about a few times before. (I suck at summaries)

Just a quick thank you to the anon that requested a first time with Todoroki! This was super fun to right and ended up being way longer than I meant it to be.

It’s a rare occurrence for you and Shoto to have a full night to yourselves. Normally one of you has something to do, you with piles of homework for school, or Shoto has to go off and save the city. So for the first time in what feels like and probably is months you two find solace in laying back on the couch together. Shoto rests on his back half watching whatever movie the two of you had previously chosen while he traces soft circles on your back while you rest on his chest not even attempting to act interested in the movie playing. You lost interest long ago as the couple on screen breaks up for some stupid reason that won’t matter in the end anyway. You already know that the movie will end with them getting back together and of course there will be the obligatory overly dramatic sex scene. You cringe inwardly at the thought of sitting through something that would set expectations to high.

Realistically you know that sex would never be like it was in the movies, but seeing little glimpses of it being so perfect always kind of got your hopes up that that’s what it would really be like. At twenty years old you know that the world doesn’t work the same way as the movies, and people always bitched about how sex scenes and porn were so over rated but you couldn’t help but wonder if they really were. Maybe your first time would be like the movies and everyone was just full of shit and didn’t want to tell you the truth. Or maybe people didn’t want to tell you because you were still a virgin in college and some people found that weird. Which honestly you still don’t get, who cares if you’re still a virgin, not everyone needs to have sex at a young age to have fun plus you wanted to do it with someone you trusted.

Shoto knew you were a virgin and simply stated that he didn’t mind not having sex he just wanted to be with you, but sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder if he would get tired of waiting. Other boyfriends were usually sick of waiting by now and tried pushing for more a few times before you finally broke it off. Shoto’s never brought it up or made any attempt to push you out of your comfort zone, he’s always been pretty respectful when your make out sessions get a little too hot for your liking. The thought of him being your first had crossed your mind more than once, you trust him, and feel comfortable with him. Would he want to? He’s never brought it up maybe because he’s not interested? Suddenly the fingers on your lower back turn ice cold.

“Shoto! What the hell oh my god stop!” You shriek and giggle as you attempt to wiggle away from the frozen fingers. Sitting up on his lap you look down at him only to see him softly smiling up at you.

“Sorry love, but I’ve been saying your name for about 5 minutes now. I could practically hear you thinking. What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid don’t worry about it.”

“Nothing you think is stupid love now tell me or you won’t be able to stop thinking about it.” He whispers, pushing himself to sit up against the arm of the couch. Biting your lip softly he offers you his hand so you can play with his fingers as you work up the nerve to voice your problem.

“God it’s so stupid, but I just, are you tired of waiting?”

“Tired of waiting?”

“For me.” You whisper softly. When he raises a quizzical eyebrow at you, you swallow awkwardly and continue. “For uhm for sex.”

“Am I tired of waiting for sex?” He parrots back to you. When you nod he frowns slightly and pulls his hand away from yours and pushes himself to sit up fully. “Why do you think I’d be tired? I told you I don’t mind waiting, have I been pushing you? I didn’t mean to. We go at your pace. I'm sorry if I gave off anything but that.”

“Oh, oh Sho no that’s not what I meant at all. You’ve never pushed me to far, I just, god see I told you it was stupid.”

“It’s not. I want you to feel comfortable at all times. I told you, I really don’t mind waiting, I just want to be with you, so what brought this up?” He questions tilting his head and opening his arms for you to collapse into him.

“I don’t know, I see these stupid scenes and I over think, and just I don’t want you to be unhappy. Are you sure you don’t mind waiting?”

“Of course not my love. I want you to be comfortable. If you want to take that step with me one day then I’ll happily take the chance but if you don’t want to that’s fine as well. It’s about you, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

Nodding you snuggle into his chest and let him resume rubbing soft circles into your skin with one hand while he mindlessly let you play with the finger on his other hand. Resting his head on top of yours as he goes back to half watching the movie. His reassurance in you and your decisions fills you with a sense of comfort and undying trust that you didn’t know you needed. Your body automatically relaxes into him as he turns slightly to press a soft kiss to your forehead before smiling softly against you.

The two of you continue to enjoy the rest of the night, switching to another movie later on. Filled with soft kisses and plenty of cuddles. When the movie ends Shoto turns so you’re tucked into his side and listens as you tell him how school has been going for you lately. He tells you about some of the less graphic and violent missions and villains he’s taken part in over the past couple weeks. The soft discussion of you finally moving into his apartment with him when your lease ends in a few months makes you both smile. As it gets later the two of you finally pop your comfortable bubble of happiness and finally head to bed. Getting washed up quickly you get into bed together.

“Good night.” Shoto softly whispers into your hair.

“Night Sho, love you.”

“Love you too.”

With that he pulls you just a little closer so his chest is completely pressed to your back. You let the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your back mixed with the soft little puffs of air that escape him relax you. You smile as his breathing evens out as he falls asleep. Your earlier conversation plays over and over in your mind, his instant concern for you and what you want fills your heart with nothing but love. Swallowing down the fear you have you slowly wiggle around in his arms to turn around and face him. His face is perfectly peaceful as he sleeps, you know you’d be making the right choice with him being your first.

However the last few times you’ve thought of finally taking that leap your own nerves got in the way. He’s proven to you over and over again that you can trust him with everything and his words from earlier prove to you once again that you can trust him. Taking a deep breath you finally make your decision. He’ll be staying the night with you again tomorrow and you’ll tell him you want him to be your first. Your body fills with nothing but excitement and nerves at the thought but you do your best to tame the thoughts and sleep.

Unfortunately sleep doesn’t take you right away and by the time you wake up Shoto is long gone. A small note on your bedside table lets you know that he should be home early as he only has some paperwork and meetings to attend to today. Smiling at the thought of him coming home before dark for once. Pulling yourself out of bed you get ready for the day before heading out to the living room to clean up the little mess the two you left behind the previous night.

Turning on some music you lose yourself to your cleaning as you dance around picking up and wiping everything clean. Before you know it the entire living room, kitchen and bathroom are spotless. Moving on to the bedroom you work on changing the bedding and throwing the other set in a basket to be put away later. Looking around you eye the chair settled in the corner of your room piled high with clean clothes. Sighing you decide to finally tackle the dreaded mountain. After what feels like years of putting away laundry you unceremoniously drop onto the bed to rest and scroll through your phone.

A shrill ding rings out as a message from Shoto pops up letting you know he’s done for the day and has picked up food on his way. Smiling, you hop up and head over to the dresser and pull out one of the shirts you’ve stolen from Shoto and a pair of shorts. Changing quickly you head out to the living room just as Shoto unlocks the door with a bag of take out in hand.

“Oh. I didn’t think you’d be here that quick.” You say happily surprised.

“Didn’t want to leave you waiting long so I waited to text you.” He says, smiling softly as you pad over to him taking the bag. Grabbing you before you have a chance to get away he gives you a soft kiss before heading to your room to change into comfortable clothing. “You did a lot while I was gone.”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. I kinda just got into it and kept going.”

“I would have helped you when I got back.” He says settling on the floor in front of the coffee table.

“I know but this gave me something to do while you were gone.” You mumble as you hand him his food.

He rolls his eyes at you with a small smile before grabbing the remote to pick something to watch. He settles on something neither one of you really cares about as you both dig into your food. You only half watch whatever plays as you pick at one another’s food and discuss what happened at his meetings. When the food is finished you two slowly begin to pay more attention to the show. You sit there on the floor together for quite awhile before finally deciding to head to bed. Before you can grab anything to put it away Shoto is pushing you onto the couch and doing it himself ignoring your protests.

“You cleaned all day. I can put away leftovers and take out the trash.” He says pressing a kiss to your forehead before going to take the trash out.

Sighing you settle on the couch and wait for him to come back. Taking a deep breath you decide that once he comes back you’ll finally tell him you’re ready. A small amount of nerves build up again at the thought of finally going that far. Shaking your head you get up and head to the bedroom and wait for him there. Jumping onto the bed you toss your phone onto the side table and settle face down on the bed. The sound of the front door opening and closing again alerts you to Shotos return but doesn’t prepare you for his weight to suddenly drop onto your body.

“Aghkh Sho!” You wheeze out as he lets himself rest on you. “Get off me you ass! You’re heavy!”

“Well now that’s rather rude of you to say. I don’t feel like moving for someone who insults me.”

“You’re literally all muscle! You’re gonna kill me!!” You squeal as he lets more of his weight drop. Laughing slightly he wraps an arm under you and flips the two of you over. Wiggling out from under his arm you sit up to flip yourself over to look down at him. “Rude.”

“You’re cute.”

“I know I am.” You smirk as you lean down to kiss him.

Shoto happily sighs as your lips slot perfectly against his. His hands carefully roam the tops of your thighs before creeping up the back of your shirt slowly.

“You look good in my clothes.”

“Mmm that’s why I wear them.”

Shaking his head he tangled a hand in your hair pulling you back down to him. It’s a familiar thing for the two of you, long drawn out make out sessions with a small mix of groping and grinding against one another until you finally reach the edge of your comfort zone. His hands roam over your body easily, memorizing every little detail they touch. Shoto grabs greedy handfuls of your ass as your mouths work together. His hands knead at the fat of your ass as he uses it as leverage to move you against him.

You both groan into the other's mouth as he pulls you to softly grind against him. You moan sweetly against him as you feel his cock stir beneath you. He lets out a soft grunt as you grind down a little harder on him. Pulling away from the kiss he lets his head rest against the pillows as he looks up at you with half lidded, his thumbs rub soft circles onto your hips as he watches you move against him. You keep your movement at a steady pace as you watch his face twitch and contort softly with every little grunt and groan he lets out. The feeling of his hardened cock pressing against you as you move against him has your already slightly dampened panties soaking uncomfortably quick as you think of what could possibly happen.

“Y/n, love tell me what you want.” He whispers up at you softly.

“I want you.”

“Want me to help get you off love?” He mutters leaning up to kiss your neck as he lets one of the hands on your hip slide down to the waistband of your shorts.

“Shoto, I um, I want want you.” Swallowing your nerves you continue “I’ve been thinking about it and I want it to be you.” You whisper softly leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “I want you to be my first.”

Gnawing on your bottom lip, you finally sit up to look at him fully. A bright blush rests over his cheeks as he stares up at you with wide bi colored eyes. You watch as he swallows hard before finally nodding, seeming to have finally processed everything. Letting go of you he pushes himself up to rest against the headboard before bringing a hand up to your cheek and pulling you close again.

“You’ll tell me if you want to stop right?”

“Of course, I trust you Sho. You’ll um take the lead right?”

“If that’s what you’re more comfortable with of course.”

“Yes please.”

Giving you a quick nod he pulls you into a soft kiss before letting him slide back down the headboard to rest amongst the pillows with you on top of him. He lets his hands drift down to your ass again to coax you back into grinding against him. The two of you continue that way for a little while, simply kissing and nipping at one another. Groaning against you he wraps an arm around you tightly to quickly flip the two of you over. Sitting up on his knees he quickly pulls his shirt over his head smirking at the way your eyes rake over his toned torso. He fiddles with the hem of the shirt you're wearing waiting for your nod of approval before pulling it off to admire your naked torso. You fidget slightly under his gaze fighting off the temptation of covering your bare chest.

“God you’re beautiful.” He whispers leaning down to pepper soft kisses across your face before diving down to press harsher ones against your neck. His hands cautiously creep up your body to softly grope at your breasts. “You’re so soft and perfect love.”

You relax again at his words letting him touch you the way he pleases. A small moan escapes you as his thumbs toy with your nipples softly, fingers kneading into the plushness. Shoto lets out quiet hums of happiness at the feeling of finally being able to hold and touch you in all ways. He carefully begins to work his way down from your neck, pressing little kisses against your skin. He nips softly at the soft skin of your breast peeking up at you through his hair before moving slightly to allow his teeth to graze your already sensitive nipple before carefully letting his lips wrap around it. He softly laps and sucks at it, switching to the other when you arch your back pressing him further into your chest.

“Sho, keep going please.” You whine tugging at his hair.”

Humming against you he starts moving again, leaving little kisses against the soft skin of your belly until he reaches the waistband of your shorts. He kisses along the edge before lifting his head to look up at you as if asking permission to continue. When you give him a small nod he wraps his fingers around it gently before tugging your shorts and panties down in one go leaving you completely bare to him. You can’t help the nerves that suddenly swell up inside of you as you clench your legs together in a small attempt to hide.

“Please don’t hide from me love, you’re perfect.” Whispers Shoto running his hands along your sides in an attempt to ease your nerves. “We can stop if you’re not ready.”

“Sorry, just a little nervous.” You whisper, taking in a deep breath you let your legs relax. “Keep going, I trust you.”

Smiling at you sweetly he moves to spread your legs and settles himself in between them. He’s touched you before but having him this close to your soaked center is oddly nerve wracking. Soft hands rub against the tops of your thighs before pushing your legs just a little further apart. Once settled he uses his thumbs to gently spread your lips apart to look at your clenching little hole. Shifting slightly you throw an arm over your eyes to avoid looking down at him until you feel it.

You let out a surprised moan as Shoto licks a strip up your soaked little pussy. He eagerly groans into your core as he continues to let his tongue explore as you moan and tug at his hair. His nose softly bumps and rubs against your clit as he eagerly licks into you, letting his tongue explore you and happily letting your taste coat his mouth. Moving up he sucks softly on your clit as he slowly circles a finger around your entrance coating it in your slick. Moving your arm you finally look down only to be met with Shoto’s hazy lust filled gaze as he sucks at your clit and carefully works a singular finger into you.

“Oooh Shoto!” You moan out tugging at his hair as he groans heavily against your clit.

His eyes gaze up to your through a lust filled haze as he slowly pumps his finger in you as he lets his tongue lap at your clit. Popping off your clit he speeds up the pace of his finger and changes his position to lean over you as he watches your face for any kind of discomfort. Twisting his wrist ever so slightly he finally hits the little spot inside of that leaves you moaning freely. Carefully he eases in a second finger slowing the pace down and letting you get used to the stretch. When your mouth drops open with a low moan of his name he picks the pace back up, letting the pads of his fingers press against that spongy spot inside of you.

“You’re so good for me my love. Look how perfect you are.” He groans out as he feels your walls clamp around him sporadically. “Your pussy is so pretty baby, look how cute it looks wrapped around my fingers.”

You rock your hips up into his hand, looking up at him with little tears dotting the corners of your eyes. Licking at his bottom lip he drops back down between your thighs letting his tongue play with your sensitive little clit. Your hips shift around relentlessly at the stimulation until he throws his free arm over you to hold you in place as he pressed his fingers into you faster.

“Shoto! M’gonna cum.” You squeal as he licks and sucks at your clit harder pulling you closer to your end. FInally he presses a third finger in officially pushing you over the edge at the added stretch and pressure.

“That’s it love, cum for me.” He grunts out as he eases you through your orgasm. He carefully pulls his finger free of your spasming walls before leaning down to lick a long strip up your slit. Shoto eagerly licks at slick the drips from you, softly pushing your legs open as they threaten to close around him.

He lets you whine and tug at his hair as he digs his tongue into your now drenched and stretched little hole. He shoves his face into your center letting his nose rub against your now sensitive clit as he licks into you groaning as he ruts against the bed as the taste of you spreads throughout his mouth. Grunting into he switches between licking at your clit and pressing his tongue as far into your spasming walls as he can. The feeling quickly begins to overstimulate you as he smothers himself in your pussy. Your hands scramble to push him away as he goes back to focusing on your clit again as the feeling of another orgasm quickly creeps up on you.

“Sho! Too much!” You cry out as he sends you crashing over the edge again. Finally you manage to push him off of you as your legs shake around him with tears running down your face from the over stimulation.

“Fuck, sorry love.” He says breathing heavily. He quickly wipes your juices from the bottom half of his face with the back of his hand before moving up to lean down and kiss you softly. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. You okay?”

“Uh huh” you mumble through a head filled with a lovely pleasure haze.

“Do you wanna stop here?” He questions pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“No, I really want to keep going please. I wanna know what it feels like to have you in me please.” You whisper blinking the haze away.

“Yeah? Ok, fuck we can do that.” Swallowing thickly he gives you another quick kiss before pushing the rest of his clothes off quickly. You watch with wide eyes as his hard cock slaps up against his lower abs. “You can say no still at any point ok?”

“I know.” You whisper as you pull him back down to you for a long drawn out kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He mumbles against your lips. He settles himself over you, one arm holding himself up while the other reaches down to tease the blunt head of his cock against your soaked entrance. “Ready?”

“Mmhmm” You hum out quietly leaning up to kiss him softly again.

Licking his lips Shoto watches you closely as he slowly works on pushing into you. He offers a small chorus of praises as your face scrunches up at the slight stinging the unfamiliar stretch causes. The arm not holding him up quickly comes up to tangle your fingers together as he finally bottoms out within you. He leans down bringing you into a soft kiss as he stills, letting you adjust to the new feeling.

“You’re doing so good love. Feel so good already.” he mutters against your cheek, squeezing your hand tightly. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

Nodding softly you let your face relax as you take in a deep breath. Suddenly you're very thankful for his earlier prep and over stimulation as the small sting still rings throughout your body lightly. Peeling your eyes open you look up at Shoto, admiring the way his hair falls around his face. When he takes note of you looking up at you he smiles softly and kisses you. He rests his forehead against yours.

“Move Shoto.” You whisper softly, squeezing his hand.

Sucking in a harsh breath he slowly eases his hips back only leaving the tip in before pushing back in just as slowly still giving you plenty of time to adjust. When given no indications of unease, he builds a slow pace letting you feel every inch of him as he pushes into you. Slowly he feels your body relax against him as he rolls his hips into yours. His own body relaxes slightly when your mouth falls open and softly little moans finally begin to spill from it.

“Mmm Shoto, feels good.”

“Yeah? Fuck, you feel amazing love.” Shoto says grunting softly into your neck. He lets out a low moan when you shift your hips to wrap your legs around his waist successfully pulling him deeper into you. “Shit, it’s like you were made for me.”

“Faster Sho. Please.”

Biting into your neck softly he works his hips faster into yours groaning when you begin to roll your hips to match his pace.

“That’s it, good job baby. So good for me baby girl”

The two of you build a comfortable rhythm as the soft rhythmic sound of skin slapping together mixed with your soft moans and his grunts fills the room. With every thrust his cock kisses at your cervix filling you to the brim. The veins that litter his cock rub at all of the little sensitive spots within that up until this point had never been touched. Letting go of your hand he pushes his free hand underneath you pulling you closer to him.

Your eyes roll back as the angle is slightly changed and his tip rubs effortless against that little spongy spot with every single thrust. You bring your arms up to wrap around Shoto’s shoulders to claw at his back. You feel your cheeks flush as you look up to see Shoto watching every little move you make, from the fucked out little faces to the way your breasts bounce as he fucks you. His pupils are blown as his face is drowned in lust from watching you. He grunts heavily when your walls eagerly clench around his cock.

“Love you so much baby, so fuckin’ perfect and tight around my cock.” He states with a particularly hard thrust.

“Love you too Sho, feels good.” you moan eagerly pulling him down and into a sloppy open mouthed kiss. “Shoto! Wanna cum.” you moan into his mouth.

Nodding with a quiet grunt he pulls his arm out from underneath you to push it between the two of you. He fumbles around for a second as you clench around him again before regaining his composure and rubbing tight circles against your clit. As the added stimulation courses through your body your mouth drops open allowing soft pants and moans of his name to fall freely from your mouth. Finally he pushes you closer and closer to the edge of your third orgasm as he slowly speeds his thrusts up just a little more. Your legs tighten around his waist pulling him even closer as your walls spasm around him helplessly.

You look up at him, letting a warbled chorus of his name fall from your parted lips as you push your hips harder into his. Nails bite into his shoulders as a final hard thrust pushes you over the edge.

“S-s-shoto.” You whimper out pathetically as you come crashing over the edge. Your head tipped back into the pillows as your pussy creamed around him, walls spasming in attempt to milk him. “ Sho! F-fuck Sho.”

“Shit, shit that’s it baby, fuck good girl.” He groans above you rolling his hips a little slower to help work you through your orgasm. The feeling of your velvety walls clenching around him forces him closer to his own end. “Fuck ok baby, ‘m gonna cum, shit where should I?”

“In! Please Sho wanna feel it in me.”

“Fuck. Y/N fuck, shit.” He grunts into your neck as a shudder rocks through his body just as he pushes all the way to the hilt and begins to fill you. The tip of his cock presses snuggly up against your cervix as hot spurts of cum fill you. His hips give a few half assed thrusts as he finally stills above you, breathing heavily he lowers himself to rest on top of you still holding up the majority of his weight in an attempt to not crush you. “Baby, you okay?”

“Uh huh, I’m I’m ok.” you whisper, eyes closed as you attempt to regulate your breathing.

Pushing himself up just high enough to look down at you, carefully he brings a hand up to push a few stray strands of hair out of your face. Your eyes flutter open slowly only to be met with Shoto’s slightly concerned face.

“Are you sure you’re ok love?” he questions caressing your cheek softly.

“Yeah I’m sure, I feel good.” You say offering him a small pleased smile before turning your head to kiss his palm softly.

“Good.” He whispers leaning down to kiss you softly. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, it was perfect. I made the right decision.” You whisper pulling him back into a kiss. When you drop back to the bed you look up at him with slightly tired eyes.

“C’mon lets get you cleaned up so we can go to bed.”

He slowly pulls his now softened cock out of you watching as his cum slowly drips out of your abused little hole. You whimper quietly at the now empty feeling. Shoto presses a soft kiss to your forehead and a mumbled “sorry”. Getting off the bed he quickly pulls on his previously discarded sweats and heads to the bathroom. He comes back with warm wet cloth, climbing back on the bed he carefully works on cleaning up the mess between your legs and tossing the cloth into the nearby laundry basket. Grabbing the shirt he was wearing earlier he helps you sit up and slips it over your head.

“Need anything?”

“Cuddles?”

“Of course.” He says laughing softly. He quickly switches off the lights before laying down and opening his arms for you to curl into his chest. Once you settle he wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your forehead and offers you a hand so you can play with his fingers. “So worth the wait?”

“Oh yeah definitely. What do you think, was I worth the wait?”

“You are beyond perfect my love. I’d wait a thousand years to be with you.”

“Mmm that was so cheesy Sho.”

“I know, but it’s true. I love you Y/n”

“Love you too Shoto.” You mumble out.

The soft rhythmic beating of his heart lulls you to sleep. As your breathing evens out Shoto can’t help but smile down at you passed out against his chest. Everything around the two of you just feels right at this moment. Even when you would wake up the next morning with a soft ache between your legs you’d kiss him happily and say it was worth it.

[seidenbros]

Der Anon, I started out and it took a turn in a direction I hadn't exactly planned on, but I hope you still enjoy it <3

(You're very welcome to request anything - prompt lists for inspiration)

______

You knew that you should be happy. Happy for him that he was finally going on a date after his last girlfriend had dumped him three months ago. It was good for Jaskier to get out, to do something other than play his songs on stage, write new ones and binge-watch The Office. You'd managed to get him out of his shell, and he'd even been to the park with you enjoying the weather. Spending time together had just shown you, how much he meant to you, that it wasn't just friendship anymore – at least on your part. You couldn't even recall when it started, or if it hadn't actually always been there. But there had always been other people in your lives. Jaskier's first girlfriend, your first boyfriend, who'd dumped you after just a couple of weeks... You'd lived through all these things together after growing up next to each other. Jaskier was your best friend – but so much more. You'd had feelings for him years ago, and when you'd wanted to tell him, he'd introduced you to the new woman in his life – and so you'd moved on, because he had looked happy, because he'd been planning a future with her. And so you'd found someone as well, but in the end... You'd been better off as friends. Sure, you'd dated as well, but now that Jaskier was on the market again, you'd thought that maybe, just maybe, the timing was right for you now. Only that his bandmate had set him up with this gorgeous blonde with curves to die for. Jaskier had been rather excited, and so you'd given him your support. What else were you supposed to do? Tell him that you loved him? That you'd been in love with him for God know how long? Maybe you should have, but now it was to late. Friends had asked you to go out with them, have some beers, sing karaoke, but you weren't on the mood. No, you rather wanted to wallow on your sofa and eat a whole box of chocolates to mend your aching heart – which was your own fault, but still...

When your phone buzzes, you take it to look at the message, which simply reads SOS. Jaskier.

“What do you mean? I thought you were on a date?” you text back, putting the phone aside, thinking that he was just being a little dramatic, but he answers immediately.

“On a BLIND date, and while she is gorgeous, no arguing about that, I don't know how much longer I can listen to her talking about shoes and dresses.”

“Wait, she really gets on YOUR nerves talking too much? Aren't you usually the one to never shut up?” You had to tease him a little bit, though it was something you liked about him. At times, it could get annoying, but most of the time, his voice, his constant talking was calming for you.

“Hahaha yes I know. See how bad it is? She has the personality of a toast. HELP ME!”

“Alright, I'll see what I can do.”

Your phone buzzed again, but you didn't read his message anymore. Who were you kidding? It wasn't like you were doing anything important, and Jaskier would do the same for you. You'd always said that you would be the other's emergency contact should something happen, even if it was a bad date.

Still, you needed some time, because you wanted to make a show of it, wanted it to be memorable, so you put on your favourite dress, freshened up your makeup and fluffed up your hair a little – because you knew that he liked it more when you didn't pull it up. What you were going to do once you got to the pub? You didn't really know, but you had always been good at improvising.

It only took a moment to make him out in the pub, and once he saw you, his face lit up. You could already hear that woman talking nonstop, and even you were irritated.

“And I want these new Louboutins that would go perfectly with my evening dress. They are dark red velvet, oh you have to see them!”

You could see the tortured, polite smile on his lips, and it was probably a miracle that he wasn't already drunk out of his mind to endure that. Sure, he enjoyed fashion, different fabrics, and sometimes the more boisterous, the better, but he didn't want to keep talking about women's shoes for hours and hours.

“Jaskier!” you exclaimed, closing the distance between you, and without thinking too much about it, settled in his lap. His arm wrapped around you, his hand landing on your waist to keep you in place. He was genuinely happy to see you and wouldn't let you go anytime soon. “Honey, I thought we'd meet outside?”

Without waiting for his response, you kissed him. Right there and then, The first kiss, which you hadn't expected to happen at all – or maybe completely drunk out of your mind, so you could böame the alcohol. After the initial surprise though, because it wasn't like you to behave this way, Jaskier kissed you back. His grip on your waist tightened, while the other hand cupped your cheek. When you pulled back a little, realizing what you had just done, Jaskier simply smiled and pulled you back into a kiss, running his thumb along your cheek, revelling in the feeling of your soft lips on his.

“EXCUSE ME?” A shrill voice interrupted the two of you. Your eyes were still a little clouded over from what had just happened, because this was definitely not what you had expected, what you had planned. Jaskier looked a little dazed, needed a moment to realize what had just happened, but his Date managed to get his attention then. Oh, she was fuming and rightly so. Granted, this wasn't exactly fair, but Jaskier hadn't seen any other way out. “WHO IS THIS?”

You turned around to face her, still firmly lodged on Jaskier's lap, one arm draped over his shoulder. “His girlfriend,” you stated, plastering on a friendly smile. “And you are...?”

“Out of here,” she snapped, picked up her purse and got up from the table. You hadn't seen anybody this pissed in ages – and she had every right to be. But Jaskier had sounded so desperate, and being his best friend, you really had to help him out.

“Thank the heavens,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around your body, leaning his head against your shoulder. “You really are a saviour, you know? This was by far the worst date I've ever had.”

“Worse than the one with the lady who wanted to take you home and show you her spider collection, including the one hiding in her bush?”

“OH GOD DON'T REMIND ME!” He blushed before he burst out laughing. “I guess nothing will ever top this. But this came really close.”

“Thought so,” you said with a chuckle, moved to get off his lap, bis he stopped you from doing so.

“But that was quite something, Y/N. I never would have expected you to do something like this.” There was no accusation, no mockery or anything in his voice, just surprise and something else. Curiosity maybe?”

Now, it was your turn to blush, when you looked down. “Well, I wanted to make sure she got the hint, and apparently it worked. I just didn't think I'd get to kiss you for the first time like this.

“This wasn't the first time,” he retorted, furrowing his brow

“What do you mean?” This was nonsense. What was he talking about?

“It was actually right here... We were twenty, there was a theme party going on here and we were drinking. Me not as much as you, but there was this moment, and... I kissed you.” He rubbed his fingers together, not looking at your right now, though one arm was still wrapped around your waist to keep you close to him. Maybe, now was the time to finally talk about it, especially after you'd apparently not known about the kiss and everything that had followed. “Then you kissed me, and we ended up tumbling out of the pub, and before I could tell you... you bent over the fence and threw up.”

Slowly, some of these memories came back to you, making you wince. That had been one hell of a night, and you hadn't remembered anything the next day except for some bits and pieces. The Tequilas you'd had, as well as the dancing on the tables alongside your best friend, but then nothing.

“I stayed with you the night, took care of you and when I wanted to talk about it the next day, you said, that you wanted to forget this night.”

“But I didn't remember that kiss! I didn't even know until now.” Why hadn't he ever said a word about this? For a moment you pondered that question, and then you knew. Because you hadn't wanted to talk about it, to forget everything. “Oh Jaskier... I'm sorry. I really didn't remember anything.” Gently, you pushed his hair from his face, captivated by the brilliant blue of his eyes that had always been able to give you a feeling of safety. “But what did you want tell me back then.”

A gentle smile appeared on his lips, before he raised his hands to frame your face with them, making sure you weren't able to look away right now. “Don't you know that already?” he asked, before he pulled you in for another kiss, this one lingering, deepening after a moment, and indeed, you knew. You didn't need to hear it from him, when you felt it deep in your heart.

[wizkiddx]

Hiii I really love your work! Could you write about Tom secretly or not secretly watching yoi have a Zoom Uni class? And maybe he teases you in a way, trying to make you laugh or he sends you text messages or something? And later when you're done and he has a meeting,you tease him right back?

Hope you're having a lovely day 💞

a/n hey anon!! this was a really cute idea but I have another req for the vice versa bit, so only did the first half in this- I hope u don't mind :)

warnings: implied smut at the end but rlly just a fluffy cringe fest

////////////////////////////////////////

Early mornings where never you’re favourite and this one wasn’t an exception to the rule. The LA sun was flooding through the curtains that had been hurriedly thrown almost-closed last night as you huffed into the duvet. You needed to get up - but you definitely didn’t want to. To be fair, you’d only arrived the day before and were still acclimatising to the jet lag - though Tom’s presence certainly made everything alot easier.

Especially as you’d been without him for so long, the pandemic meaning you hadn’t been able to make the long-weekend trips you usually would’ve. So when at the beginning of may, Tom had offered for you to come out and stay with him for half the summer (while he was busy working). There was only really one answer…. free holiday with the absolute specimen of a human who you call your boyfriend? Yes please.

It did mean though, that you had flown out before the end of the semester. Only by a week and it didn’t make much difference because you only had a few zoom lectures - but they were compulsory. So even if you were living in the US, you had to follow your UK school timetable. Hence why you had to get up at 6:30, to make your UK time 14:30 lecture.

The arms around you seemed to have other ideas, huffing and only pulling you tighter when you tried to wriggle out of his embrace. You groaned in annoyance, mainly because he was making it more and more tempting to stay huddled up against him.

“Toooooommm I gotta get up” Clearly not agreeing, he just squeezed you to his chest tighter, whilst emphatically shaking his head - all with his eyes still firmly pressed shut.

“Let go! I have a lecture!” Still not letting up , he just shook his head once again - making his bed hair especially wild as it dragged against the linen pillows.

With a sigh you turned in his death grip, now being able to see his puffy morning eyes pressed firmly shut. First you arched up and pressed a soft kiss to his chin, then jaw and then nose.

“Seriously T, I need to show up to this one.” Because yes, you might’ve already had an absence from yesterday, where you had both slept through the alarm.

“-o it-’” Croaking so much so you couldn’t even puzzle out what he said, the man cleared his throat before trying again, the sound reverberating in his chest. “ uhmm do it from bed, don’t go.”

That had you pouting at his cuteness. Ever since you’d arrived he’d been unbelievable clingy to you, barely letting you out of his sight. You showered together; he sat and stared whilst you did your skin care routine; even at restaurants he insisted on sitting next to you with his hand on your knee. When you had asked him, the only reasoning you got was a shrug and a muttered ‘I missed you’. Never, ever would you complain about Tom’s attention. But…. you really needed to get to your laptop.

“I can’t babe thats not very profess-“

“-wont even be able to tell.”

As much as you tried, you couldn’t ever really deny Tom anything. Not when he cracked his eyelids open, revealing the softest warm brown eyes, coupled with a lazy smile. So yes, you ended up quickly getting changed into one of Toms old burgundy tops, running a brush through your frizzy hair and then clambering back into bed. You balanced your laptop on a tray on top of a box, so the angle was less obvious that your backdrop was a headboard. Instantly Tom had half-asleep turned over to lay his messy head on your lap. And with a half sigh half laugh, you logged on- once in the waiting room bringing a hand down to trail your nails through Tom’s hair which made him groan with delight.

It was all going so well too, up the point where breakout rooms were announced and you had to talk - your chipper voice and laughs with your course mates rousing Tom from his sleep. Every time he almost lifted his head into the view of the webcam, you were very quick to slam it back down, forcing him back onto your lap.

Eventually he got bored of the restrictions, as well as not being very into the history module you were all puzzling over- so slid out of bed into the shower. Once he was gone you did almost sigh in relief, you had thought that Tom in his friendly-idiot manner would end up getting you caught at some point. Especially as our relationship was so secretive, none of your course mates knew you weren’t single - imagine their shock if an a lister popped up in the zoom class.

But oh, the relief did not last long at all.

The issue was Harry had gone out for the day. It was just you and Tom in his fancy rented LA house. And, as mentioned, Tom was being clingy as hell. It couldn’t of been more than 20 minutes before the fluffy haired brunette was back in the room - pouting when he saw you still on the computer.

Even though you shooed him away, Tom just cocked his head to one side, a small smirk on his face. And you knew. You knew he was going to be a little shit. He slinked over the bed, perching at the foot next to where your feet lay.The warning look you shot him, metaphorical daggers coming out your eye did absolutely nothing - you watched his hand pin your right ankle down before stroking the sole of your foot. Familiar shivers shot up your leg and it took everything in you to not kick out, launching the laptop across the room as tickled you.

Soon though he stopped, you pulled yourself into a cross legged position, readjusting the laptop and trying to concentrate back on the lecturer. Seeing your disinterest, Tom hopped up off the bed and you thought he was leaving. But no. No you were wrong. He just stood at the foot of the bed, hands on hips as he appeared to listen intently to the lecturer too.

Clearly Tom was an actor, he was pretty good at accents. You should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to resist the impersonating your academic staff - who happened to have a strong Somerset accent.

Pretending to ignore Tom as he hunched up and widened his stance - to imagine the physicality of your lecturer- you narrowed your eyes at the computer screen. Then though, a deep booming farmer-like voice came out your well spoken south london boy - god you were glad you’d stuck the mute button on as soon as he had entered.

“And then as your reading in chapter twel-“

“And then as yowr readinf in chapter twelve….” Tom echoed the lecturer loud and proud, making it completely impossible for you to attempt to concentrate. As much as you wanted to be furious at him- well, all it took was one look.

He was holding his face in some sort of duck pout and all the movements were extra pronounced and exaggerated. You couldn’t help it- instantly you burst out laughing, having to turn off the video for fear of anyone noticing.

Seeing he’d got a rise out of you, Tom was only spurred on, continuing the dramatic acting with a new found confidence. That was until you got yourself under control, face turning like a switch from joy to fury.

“Shut the hell up!”

And he did, for a few minutes, whilst pouting like a told-off toddler. In a strop, he sat down, shoulders slumped at the edge of the bed. Oh how wrong your were, when you thought you’d won - with a satisfied smile concentrating back on the laptop screen. Just in time to hear the lecturer FINALLY starting to rounding up the lecture.

“Alright so next session we’re-“ Before he’d even stammered his way to the end of the sentence, Tom’s face had switched up once again - into one of mischief as he started crawling up the bed either-side of your legs. One strong arm reached out to touch the back of your laptop lid and before you could protest he was pushing it down, till it landed with a small ‘clunk’.

“You did not just do that!” Yelling at him, you sat up so now he was kneeling across your lap.

“But I just did.” He mimed a mic drop which had you cringing hard, staring at him in disbelief. Okay the lecturer was beginning to round off, but that conclusion could’ve gone on for 5 minutes at least!

“Oh you are so in for it Holland.”

You’d meant it as a threat, as a sort of ‘I’m-going-to-make-your-life-a-living-hell” but the bright eyed boy before you had other plans. Wordlessly he nodded, then placed your laptop on the bedside ; then pushed you down on the bed. His legs either side of you, his arms like rockets to pin yours either side your head.

“Ah but you see my love…” he tutted, with a wide smile, hhis breath fanning down onto you as he took your breath away. “That is exactly what I want.” Immediately his lips were on yours, the both of you fighting for dominance as you arched your head up to get extra purchase on him.

“I hate… I hate you… so bloody much” It was hard to talk when his intoxicating lips were moving against yours, melting away all your resistance.

“Hmmm… well its… its a good thing… that I love you.”

He was impossible and no doubt you’d missed the prep work for tomorrows lecture. But having him there, body pressed against yours, after months apart.

Well, you wouldn’t mind failing the module for him.

~~~~ let me know what you think <333~~~~

tag list : @thefernandasantana @lovehollandy12 @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove @msmimimerton @thegirlwiththeimpala

[storiesofsvu]

okay, so after adding onto a couple of posts about interaction with writers/a post I made about "should i even bother posting" a ch, i got far more replies/messages/etc about it, so I just want to explain a couple of things from my pov so y'all understand what I actually am saying/wanting;

I adore every single one of you who reads any of my work, and adore even more those who toss down a like (personally, I use my likes as bookmarks, things to go back to later, or prompt lists/ask lists/etc). i love it even more when someone reblogs, but the thing is, to me: this is not about the notes. does it baffle me when i look at something i wrote and it has over 200 notes? absolutely. (even if 80% of those are likes not reblogs).

however!!!

last summer and earlier, I used to wake up in the morning, brew some coffee, and spend the next near hour replying to things in my ask box/comments on my posts. real people, real followers, anon or not, who were catching up on old stories, re-reading older stories, had just found my blog and were working there way through, or current followers who were sharing their thoughts on the latest chapter I posted. or people sending in req's, sending in asks from ask lists. literally. EVERY morning, there was a minimum of 5.

now i'm lucky if I even have anything all week.

which is super unmotivating. half the time now I feel like I'm writing for the empty void. because of this, i began writing for myself more, and writing what i wanted to/what i was feeling, which has resulted in people being all "whens the next ch of this?! write some _____ content again! come on!" which isn't helping.

i miss talking about my stories with my readers. and i know i need to engage more in this habit with other writers on their works!

and while we're here...let's talk about TAG LISTS!

If you've gone out of your way to fill out someone's form, or ask to be added to a character/story's tag list, you should *really* be engaging with it. i have countless acct's who are on taglists who don't interact at ALL with it. and that is why you'll notice you're not getting tagged anymore, it's because i haven't seen your url in my notes in months, so you don't care anymore, why should i?

i understand that people fade in and out of fandoms, they drift somewhere else for a little bit and sometimes come back, they drift between who their fave top character is, and that's totally fine!! i honestly see it in the svu fandom currently, i think that a lot of us are a little burnt out from it, because the current season airing isn't giving us the juice we desire. the people who are into it are the super diehard rollisi/benslers.

i honestly also think that the pandemic has to do with some of this. when i started writing was march 2020, because i had nothing else to do. none of us did. and now, we're all back to semi "normal" back at work/school, and have a lot of other things on our plates, so there's not as much time for reading/writing. i'm blessed in only working a few days a week with tons of time to write, so i get that sometimes im putting out a ton of content in a little amount of time/too quickly for some to read and thus they then get overwhelmed and drop it, but i'm also posting a heck of a lot less.

TL;DR: interact with your writer friends. we're fucking lonely over here trying to create fantasy world of your and our fave characters. give us little plot bunnies to work with, give us mini little headcanon of your own that you want us to flesh out into a full story (because going "number 5 with barba" doesnt give us much to work with). we love creating these worlds and universes and want to keep doing so, but the motivation needs to be there for us.