friendlytacosyumyum

[friendlytacosyumyum]

nuclear power is impressive until you get up to why. "we use the most precisely engineered machinery ever created to split atoms to release energy" oh yeah how come? "boil water to turn a fan" get the fuck out

[friendlytacosyumyum]

Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

[friendlytacosyumyum]

OH MINE GOD,😳😳 I ACCIDENTALLY 🙈🙈 HATH SENT😳 THOU A PICTURE OF MINE COCK AND BALLS🍆🍆...PRITHEE DELETE IT!❌❌🛑! 'LEST...THOU DESIRE TO LOOK?😏😏 HAHA I JEST..🤣🤣, DELETE IT.🛑❌..SHOULD THEE CRAVE..?😳🙈... HAHA NAY,❌ BANISH IT.🛑🛑..'LEST?🙈😳

[friendlytacosyumyum]

having a cat is so miraculous. this little guy wants to sleep in my bed with me and purr on my chest. it’s his favorite hobby. no one told him to do that he just Loves His Mommy

[friendlytacosyumyum]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[friendlytacosyumyum]

something interesting is happening

[friendlytacosyumyum]

remember congrats on the ethnostate

[friendlytacosyumyum]

hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

[friendlytacosyumyum]

this should have been me

[friendlytacosyumyum]

[about to give you head] [doesn't know how to talk dirty at all] umm the huge cock store called they said they want this back

[friendlytacosyumyum]

me too dude. me too. then i found out it was intentional and i was like “yeah id blow one of those up too” and then i realized that is NOT why they blew it up.

not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn't realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it's design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

[friendlytacosyumyum]

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

[friendlytacosyumyum]

[friendlytacosyumyum]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[friendlytacosyumyum]

you will miss this in 40 or 48 hours. twitter will smooth your brain down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a social media platform that hasn't meaningfully changed in a decade. you don't know I'm posting about you in real time bc Sarah has timestamps switched off. I'm not dead, Grant. Grant, let me out of the casket. Graaaant,

[friendlytacosyumyum]

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards, 

[friendlytacosyumyum]

You ever think about how we call toddlers that because they can't walk right. They toddle about. Fuckin idiots. Fuckin idiot steppers can't walk properly. Call 'em wobblers. This is my son Jeffrey he's at the age where I mock him for walking like a fucking scrub. "Skill issue" ass name.