#anon what exactly did i post that compelled you to send this to me

[omohole]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

this feels like bait but damn you sure are making a lot of assumptions about incredibly large groups of people with any number of unique experiences here.

"it cant be anything about feminity or masculinity"/"it cant be anything about stated identity" yes it can. because different people are going to have different reasons and explanations for why they are attracted to who they are. some people ARE attracted based on how feminine/masculine someone is. some people ARE attracted based on stated identity. by saying that it cant be these things youre making a huge generalization. just because You Personally do or dont experience these factors doesnt mean that its the same for every other individual.

youre absolutely right that attraction based on masculinity/feminity is culture based! so are many many other factors of romantic and sexual attraction (cultural expectations, societal opinions, views on monogamy vs polygamy, cultures where arranged marriages are standard, etc.) that might influence someones attraction to a potential partner. so i dont know why youre acknowledging that there is a cultural difference in some cases and then writing off any possible case of attraction to gender presentation (conformity or non-conformity) as impossible. not to mention that it isnt necessarily sexist to have those preferences at all. i for one, am a butch lesbian who is (primarily) attracted to other butches. that isnt me saying that a partner needs to act and perform in one particular way or another on the basis of discrimination, thats just me saying what i find attractive personally. just like i can say i prefer orange juice over apple juice. i dont think its Wrong to like apple juice, and i dont think people who do prefer to drink it are wrong or bad, i just dont like it personally. there have been subgroups in the queer community for literal decades that came together over attraction to very specific gender presentations (butches, femmes, twinks, bears, etc.). not to mention, when it comes to meeting a potential partner (at least in person) visual appearance tends to be one of- if not the first- things you notice about them. of course thats going to have some sort of influence on how you view them.

sure, people absolutely can lie about their stated identity. theres plenty of cases where people will attest that someone lied about their gender to get into their pants (and that sucks when it happens!). but that doesnt mean that its always true that someone will lie nor does it make it common to do so. fun fact, but if your partner is attracted to something that you Know You Arent, it tends to be a pretty unfulfilling relationship and lies like that are difficult to keep up.

and for some people, it literally is just Based On Vibes! some people do not have the words to describe what they find attractive, some people just know that theyre attracted to men and not women, and absolutely No One is obligated to explain it to a stranger (and much less an anonymous one). im putting in the time to type this all out because some of the things you said bothered me, but you dropping this on a random stranger is fuckin weird yknow?

the way you worded this last part is weird. no, i dont think that. its the same as any other attraction to one gender. do you think that being straight is just an identity or cultural performance? and if youre trying to say that it isnt the same on account of biological compatibility when it comes to having children, what about straight couples where one partner is trans? or straight couples where one is infertile? youre coming at this from the angle that being gay is the only form of single-gender attraction.

and alllll of that put aside to say that i dont know why you sent me this. im literally just a random person on the internet, i am not an expert in attraction in any manner. i can only speak as far as my own experiences and observations.

not to mention

i am not a gay man

[p-redux]

Good morning, peeps! Waking up to one of the Team sending me MORE confirmation that it was indeed Sam Heughan at Hyrox UK London watching Sarah Holden competing and cheering her on, yesterday, May 4, 2024. DMs posted with permission, as well as pics, and videos.

And here's the Video the Team member is referring to of Sam walking toward the area where Sarah was going to do one of her competitions. 👇

Here's another video where you can briefly see Sam having made it to the area where Sarah was set to compete. He's wearing the same outfit and cap. Top, left corner. Blink, and you'll miss him. 👇

Here's the screencap of the video in case you missed Sam in the video. 👇

And then, here's CLEAR audio of Sam's voice cheering Sarah on. He says, "Yeah, Sarah, nice!" it's at the end of the video. NO mistaking that voice. 👇

That, coupled with them being seen eating at Enoteca Rosso, also yesterday 👇 is more PROOF that #samarah is still going.

For the Anon saying that's Nic Rasenti and his wife Nicole sitting with them, um, NOPE 👆 So, Sam is sitting across his friend's wife, biting his thumb sexily, while his friend, and some other dude, are on the sidelines? 🤣 Time to get your eyes checked, Anon. In the video I posted yesterday, you can see the tables are very close together, but they're not sitting with each other.

Closer shot. 👇 Sarah wearing her hair in a ponytail like she did yesterday and wearing the big black sunglasses on her head that she wore in her IG stories.

And Sarah unwittingly confirmed she was indeed at Enoteca Rosso by posting that that she'd had pasta for lunch yesterday. 👇

And I already showed you that the red round placemats and pasta plate she posted exactly match the ones used at Enoteca Rosso, where LOTS of pasta is served. 👇

I'm not a lawyer, but I'd say that's pretty compelling evidence for #samarah together in London this weekend. I rest my case, your honor. Case closed, Edith. 🤗

Anyhoo, I haven't even had a chance yet to see what else is out there today, or if Sam competed, etc. Going to check that out now. Stay tuned...

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me ���✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[stitch1830]

About Kantoph - who is Kanto? Is he an OC or from another fandom? I keep seeing your Kantoph posts but am confused haha

Hi Anon, thank you for the ask! LMAO I understand the confusion, and I felt compelled to answer this very quickly because I'm guessing most don't know who he is haha!

Kanto is canonically Lin Beifong's biological father. He's not an ATLA character per se, but more of an LOK one. He was mentioned in the LOK episode "Operation Beifong" and his mention consisted of the following conversation:

Because of the lack of knowledge on Kanto, the possibilities of his character and his relationship with Toph are pretty endless. Most people simply think of their relationship as a one night stand, perhaps a friends with benefits situation, or even a long but casual relationship where Kanto left because he didn't want to be a father. And if I'm being honest, those scenarios are probably more likely to be canon, so his story most of the time is... irrelevant.

But... some have felt compelled to tell more complex stories for their relationship haha! There is a piece of fanfiction called "Who the F*** is Kanto." and it is probably my absolute FAVORITE canon take on Toph and Kanto's relationship. It's a great story, and I recommend it to anyone that is curious about a pretty close canon interpretation that is an intriguing story as well.

@preciousmetalgiirl and I started our own complex Kantoph story back in like... May? We started bouncing ideas off each other and thought how it could've been possible for Kanto to be in a loving and committed relationship with Toph, but died when Lin was a baby. And it kind of spiraled from there!

We gave him a background story, an occupation, interests and fears, and more importantly, we made him head over heels in love with Toph because she deserves it (and even though in the main AU he dies... there are some really fluffy scenarios haha!).

Then, we kind of fell in love with the guy. After all, we put in the time to make him this perfect man for Toph, why not have an AU where he lives and Toph and Kanto live happily ever after? :)

So that's exactly what we did haha! Now, Kanto kind of lives in our mind rent free, as does the little Beifong family we made.

Kantoph is basically just a self-indulgent ship we made, but others have found interest in them as well! Now, I like to write about them, make some doodles, and just chatting about them in general! :)

Most of Kanto's characterization, as well as fanart pieces from artists much much better than me can be found on Kanto's characterization sheet HERE. This was made back in July so it's a tad outdated at this point haha, but it still holds!

I hope this answers your question, and if not, feel free to ask any questions! I'm more than happy to answer (it just might take me a hot second haha!).

Thank you again for the ask, anon, and I hope you have a great day!

......

Send me asks about ATLA, or anything, really! :D

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[acioo]

anonymous asked: I was just wondering if you have any ideas on how to get inspired to create characters?? I want some new muses but I don’t really know where to start? And your muses are Exemplary. Tyvm!!

hi, anon ! first of all, thank you so much ! you’re so sweet <3 i thought about this a while & i’ve made a list of things i take inspiration from / ways to get inspired ! also, i got some help by rachel ( @tombraiders ) & ( @laurakinnvy ), so thank those legends for that !

media ( tv shows / films / books / etc ) ― now, there’s a lot of ways to go about this. i’d never suggest taking whole parts of characters ( like, anything hyperspecific, i’d say, for example: your characters parents are scientists living in africa and your character contracts a rare disease that your char's parents cure your char from by injecting your char with a serum that turns your char green and gives your char superpowers AKA garfield logan ). BUT, what i mean, is that it’s very easy to take a singular idea and completely adapt it to a character and turn it into something that’s very different from the og idea but still so much fun. so, make your character the child of the sheriff ( stiles stilinski, teen wolf ), make your character the child of psychic/s ( blue sargent, the raven cycle ), or give your character a fraternal twin ( pines twins, gravity falls ), but run with it in your own way. give it a specific twist that came from you alone. remember to respect other writers, and i would NEVER suggest doing this with your fellow writers in the rpc, but no writer owns the idea of being a demigod, or have superhero family members, or being the child of a senator. if you are watching something, and you’ve always loved a particular detail, then run with it, and give it your own twist. you can develop an entire character by starting with one thing.

pinterest ― one of the first things i do when creating a character is begin their board. my layout is i’ll start pining general things ( clothing, physique, some words ) just to get into the feel of it. once i start getting more deep into a character, i will add sections to their board, all rooted in specific aspects of their lives ( so, for example, a sibling, a significant other, a power, a job ). i’ve even made pin boards where there are sections based on different aus i have for them. it allows me to flesh out the character while also keeping a more big picture view of them ( meaning, how all the aspects and qualities work together to make a dimensional char ), and i can pick up qualities that fit with the character by stumbling on them in pins ( for example, seeing a pin of a dog, giving the character a dog, expanding the relationship with the dog, so forth ). here’s an example of a pinterest board of mine, if you are wondering what i mean exactly ( and with the board, even more examples for sections: future children, family, childhood ).

a single thought ― i took a creative writing class a few years back, and an exercise we went through was posting a list of first lines from books ( here i will name a few, if you wish to try this: i had just come to accept that my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen, one summer night i fell asleep hoping the world would be different when i woke, it was a pleasure to burn, all children except one grow up ), and then she made us create an entire character with full background and as many clever aspects as we could ( within the span of forty-five minutes ). she’d also do it for short stories. it was a clever trick of hers to get us to think outside of the box, but it’s also a fun exercise to take forth in. it gives you a start place, but the finish line is wherever you so please. i once wrote a prize-winning short story based on a singular quote ( that being, there is one mirror in my house, from divergent. ) i used the quote “ it was a pleasure to burn “ ( farenheit 451 ) to create a character of mine who loves fire, and has shaped her entire life around it, but has begun to melt. my point being: it is possible and it’s sooo much fun. by the time you get finished ( though i don’t personally believe you should EVER be truly finished in delving into your character. by that i mean, don’t be afraid to change things up, because more often than not you’ll wind up better than you were before. i don’t care if you’ve been writing them for five months, or five years, if you have a thought, like hey what if their mom had a specific job that had an effect, for example, go with it and see where you land after ), you will have a character that should have a relation, but a thin one, to your source, if done properly.

playlists ― playlists are usually something i do after i begin my character, but i’ve ben open to a whole new world by rachel and han, who say they use playlists to create. which, makes a whole lot of sense. i posted specific mood playlists here that are available to help, but i also have something in the works in terms of songs to help, so look out for that. here are some songs that i think would be good in creating characters, or at the very least, starting to create characters: 8teen by khalid, bloom later by jesse, cold by rich brian, devil town by keep for cheap, everybody loves me by onerepublic. to explain further, here’s an example, using happy pills by weathers ( i take my pills and i’m happy all the time / happy all the time / happy all the time ), you could begin by making a character with a mental illness, then go into how they take medication for it, why they got it, and so forth.

real life ― this can be used in a lot of ways. maybe you have dual citizenship, and you can easily give this to a character, and use it to expand them: where do they live, which country do they feel more connected to, etc. or maybe you are funny, so use that: is it a coping mechanism, when did they become funny or were they always. there’s a number of things to include ( and it also sets a really good precedent, because i think one of the MOST important aspects of a character is making them a dimensional being who you could basically pop out of the pages and stick in a house and would reasonably work ): a family dynamic, a sexual orientation, a religion, an anecdote. it’s also a good way to get out feelings you may have, and can be some of the most compelling of writing, but i really do urge you to watch where this goes, because it can get out of hand, and you can wind up upsetting yourself, or creating a character that is a bit of a modge podge and not a painting if you will ( in that the parts don’t all fit together ).

muse inspo blogs ― lastly, muse inspiration blogs are a good way to do this as well. they have numerous tags where you can begin, maybe a label that you can use to fully explain your characters or a dynamic, and then go from there by scrollling through. there’s a number of muse inspo blogs that you can use, and i’m happy to string together a few if you send me another ask. i also have some musing tags, which you can find here. 

[tonyglowheart]

This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔 

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation. 

[freudensteins-monster]

I wish you would write a fic where Loki and Sigyn try to one-up each other pranking Thor, Valkyrie and the Avengers while on Earth. (Thanks, and Happy New Year! xoxo)

Dear Anon, I know you probably don’t remember sending me this ask, considering you sent it on New Years Day - two years ago - but better later than never, right? (Set post-Ragnarok, minus Thanos)

Loki’s return to Earth had notexactly been celebrated, but the Avengers needed him on an upcoming mission so hispresence was tolerated. Eventually they reached the end of their patience andso he was sent to annoy Doctor Strange at the New York Sanctum. He had to begrudgingly admit that theircollection of magical knowledge and artifacts was impressive, though it paledin comparison to Asgard’s. And didn’t he feel that loss keenly? He’d managed tosquirrel away almost a hundred of his most treasured volumes into his personalpocket dimension during his all to brief reign as king but there were hundreds of thousandsmore that had been lost to the fires of Ragnarok.

The Sanctum also held another mysterioustreasure.

“Sigyn? Is that name supposed tomean something to me?” Loki replied with disinterest, not bothering to raisehis eyes from his latest book.

“It should,” Strange smirked.“She’s your wife reincarnated.”

At that Loki deigned to raise hiseyes, flitting from the irritating Strange to the mortified initiate besidehim. She was fair of face and hair, the latter pulled back in elaborate braidsthat fell down to her shoulder blades, and she wore thick gloves on her hands inaddition to the standard burgundy garb of any initiate of Kamar-Taj.

“Is this a reference to yourlurid mythologies?” Loki drawled. “Because in truth I have never taken a wife.Though if you wish me to take her off your hands I would require a substantialdowry, say the Axe of Angarrumus? I received Thor’s name in Stark’s wintersolstice gift giving game and such a weapon would mean I don’t have to lowermyself to visiting one of Midgard’s marketplaces.”

Rather than reply Strange huffedwith irritation and flounced out of the room (the sorcerer may have justturned, the Cape of Levitation did all the flouncing). The woman gave him acurt bow before disappearing into the rows of shelving, and Loki would haveforgotten all about her the moment she was gone from his sight if Strangehadn’t screamed his name as he stormed back into the library less than a minutelater.

Loki laughed. He couldn’t helpit. The Sorcerer Supreme was standing in the middle of the room, his dark bluerobes now emerald green and his famed cloak a blinding gold, as his face turnedan interesting shade of red. It was the best thing he’d seen since the Hulk hadthrown Thor around like a ragdoll in the arena.

“What? It wasn’t me,” Loki arguedas Strange continued to glare at him after he’d been able to stop laughing.

With one flick of his wrists thesorcerer changed his robes back to their original hue and with another he cutthe legs off Loki’s chair, causing the Asgardian to fall on his ass with athud.

Loki was dusting himself off whenthe woman, Sigyn, reappeared, a heavy tome in her arms and a small smileplaying on her lips.

“It was nice to meet you,” she saidin lightly accented English before leaving the room via a portal she’dconjured.

Loki stared at the space she hadoccupied for a long minute before smiling to himself, “Interesting.”

In the days leading up to theMidgard winter solstice celebrations Loki thought of the curious Sigyn often,and though he frequented the Sanctum he had not seen her again, and dared notask Strange as to her whereabouts and give away his interest. In the end she came to him, arriving via a portal on the balcony of Stark’stower along with Strange and two other sorcerers, a hour late for Stark’sChristmas party.

Since they had last crossed pathsSigyn had apparently completed her training, having exchanged her initiaterobes for more formal ones of grey overlayed with a dark purple sleeveless coatwith silver embroidery. She still wore gloves the same shade as her robes, andtoyed nervously with the bindings. Stark was being his obnoxious self as heintroduced the sorcerers to the rest of the superheroes, scientists, andobligatory celebrities gathered on the 68th floor, and just as Lokiwas sure that Strange was about to push Stark through a portal to the farreaches of the universe, the Man of Iron was distracted by his AI systemintroducing the newest arrivals to step off the elevator – in Latin. Their hostsufficiently distracted, the sorcerers began to mingle (Strange making for oneJane Foster, the next smartest person in the room, much to Thor’s thinly veiledannoyance), and Loki made his way over to Sigyn.

“That was a nice trick.”

“I have no idea what you’retalking about,” she replied automatically as she took a glass of somethingbubbly from a passing waiter.

“Of course you don’t,” Lokismiled. “Just as I have no idea what’s going on over there,” he said, pointingto the bar where Valkyrie was trying drink after drink, growing more frustratedas each turned to water on her tongue.

Sigyn stifled a laugh beforegazing around the room in search of her next target. The slight twitching ofher fingers was the only indication that she had made her play and it was a fewminutes before Loki understood what it was. There was a small commotion acrossthe room and the man out of time stumbled away from a group of overly affectionatedebutantes, a sprig of mistletoe followed him. If he stayed in one place forlonger than five seconds the mistletoe hovered over his head and the peopleclosest to him felt compelled to kiss him. It resulted in the good captainrunning laps of the room as he cursed Stark for inventing some sort ofmistletoe drone.

As the party guests laughed Sigynraised an eyebrow in challenge but before Loki could contemplate his next movea loud slap rang out. All eyes turned to find Doctor Strange getting chewed outby Doctor Foster before the petite brunette stormed off.

Sigyn gasped. “What did you do?”

“It wasn’t me. Itseems as though the Sorcerer Supreme is fully capable of making an ass out ofhimself without my assistance.”

They watched as Thor made tofollow Doctor Foster and the moment he caught up with her Loki sliced the airwith his arm, sending the former lovers flying into a storage closet at the endof the hall. He immediately sealed the room – no one would be able to heartheir cries for aid and for all Thor’s strength he would not be able to breakout of the room before dawn’s first light hit the tower.

“Really?” Sigyn scoffed.

“They have been tiptoeing aroundeach other for weeks. It’s been painful to watch. One way or another it endstonight.”

“Fair enough,” she mused as hersharp gazed scanned the room. With a sly smile she ran a finger around the rimof her glass and half the room fell silent before findingthemselves singing a rather passionate rendition of “Santa Claus is Comin’ ToTown”.

Loki barely had a moment to enjoythe confusion before he felt a sharp pinch between his ribs.

“That’s enough,” the widowcommanded, pressing a blade so hard against his side it pierced through hisleather vestments.

Before Loki could proclaim hisinnocence Sigyn took a sip from her glass and the chaos fizzled out intoconfused laughter and the sounds of drinks being topped up. Loki breathed asigh of relief as the blade was removed from his side.

“If you can’t behave yourself itmight be better for your health if you retired for the evening,” the widowsuggested before rejoining her friends.

“Haha,” Sigyn chortled into herdrink. “You lose.”

“How so?”

“You got caught,” Sigyn repliedas though it were obvious.

“But it wasn’t my trick.”

“It still counts.”

“It does not!”

“It does too!”

In a fit of frustration, and inan effort to best his sparring partner, Loki threw a glamour over Sigyn,ridding her of her robes and dressing her in a glittering golden gown similarto those he had seen a few models in attendance wearing. The figure-hugginggown was quite alluring on her, as was the amount of exposed flesh, until onegot to her now glove-free hands which were misshapen with leathery scars. Sigyndropped her champagne glass with an anguished scream when she realised whatLoki had done, angry tears filling her eyes when she felt the room staring ather. She turned on her heel and summoned a portal with her sling ring,disappearing in a shower of sparks.

“What did you do?” Strange sighedirritably as he appeared at Loki’s side.

“I may have taken things a steptoo far,” Loki conceded.

“You don’t say.”

“Is there any way to follow her?”

With another put upon sigh,Strange summoned a portal for him.

“If my favourite student doesn’tcome back, neither should you,” Strange warned before shoving him through.

The portal closed and Loki foundhimself face first in the snow. He righted himself and in the grey light he wasable to follow Sigyn’s footprints towards a church and the cemetery behind it.He found her seated before a headstone once again dressed in her in grey andpurple robes. Her gloves were lying on the ground beside her and her misshapenhands sat in her lap. Loki approached cautiously and when she failed to attackhim he sat down next to her, joining Sigyn in staring silently at the headstoneof one Marta Magnusson.

“Most days I can forget aboutthem,” she said without preamble, turning her scarred hands this way and that. “But thensomeone will comment on my gloves and I remember it anew. If I don’t wear them I have to put up with looks of disgust or pity. I’m notsure which is worse.”

“…How did it happen?”

“When I was but a child my fatherthrew me into the fireplace during one of his drunken rages, pushed me down bythe heel of his boot, my little hands pushing back against the burning logs asflames licked my face. It felt like hours of agony but my mother assured me itwas only seconds, either way the damage was done. Recovery was almost aspainful, and whenever I cried about it my mother would wipe away my tears andsay, “Women are defined by what they can endure, little Sigyn, so it is in allthe great stories, and you are far too strong to give up now.”

She fell silent then, content toignore her companion in favour of losing herself to long buried memories. Itstretched on long enough to make Loki fidget, a dozen empty platitude dying onhis silver tongue.

“I’m not showing you mine,” hemuttered, just loud enough to draw Sigyn’s attention.

“Hmm?”

“I’m not showing you my scars soyou’ll think us even,” he bit out petulantly. “Just know that I have them. Also,”he added with a belligerent sigh, “I’m sorry for bringing yours to light the wayI did. It was cruel.”

She accepted his apology with abrief nod but made no move to bury her past once more and leave the frozen cemetery. Loki sighed again, cursing his newfound sentimentality, and outstretcheda hand towards the headstone. Within minutes an ice sculpture formed behind itin the shape of a mother embracing her child. The child may have resembled Sigynbut, Loki realised too late, the mother was most definitely Frigga.

Sigyn’s eyes lit up inappreciation but as she turned to Loki her smiled faded. Loki followed her gazeto his outstretched hand, now azure blue. Chastened, he gave it frustratedshake as though his true heritage was something he could easily rid himself of.He crossed his arms to hide it from view until it returned to his prefershade and avoided meeting her eyes.

“Can you only manipulate ice?”she asked, surprising Loki.

“What?”

“Is it only ice you can create?”she repeated, smiling as her eyes drifted skyward to the flurries of snowflakesthat drifted past on the wind.

Loki, sensing mischief, smiledback. “What did you have in mind?”

The karaoke portion of Stark’s Christmasparty was due to begin, but as the host took the stage a blizzard developed outof thin air, pouring in from the balcony and blanketing the room with snow.Panicked and freezing guests sought to escape it but where met with icy gales thatpushed them back from the elevators and stairwells.

It disappeared as quickly as it came but left the entire floor covered in two feet of snow. Stark was thefirst to regain his senses, but before he could call for Loki’s head his ownwas struck with an icy projectile. He turned on the spot to find the SorcererSupreme smirking back at him, his cocky cloak dusting snow off whatever its equivalentto hands were.

“Oh, it’s on now, Strange.”

Loki hoisted himself up onto thebar and helped himself to an abandoned glass of champagne, laughing at thechaos before him as dozens of enhanced individuals engaged in an all-outsnowball war. Sigyn joined him moments later after quickly forming a portal withher sling ring to divert a wayward snowball down the back of Wong’s robes.

Loki beamed at his partner inmischief and pushed a drink into her gloved hand. “To what doesn’t kill us,” hetoasted.

Sigyn laughed and clinked herglass against his. “May it always make us a riot at parties.”

[marshmallowgoop]

On Ragyo Kiryuin

Please note: This post will contain discussions of sexual assault and abuse.

I am not good at talking about Ragyo Kiryuin.

Every time I do, I mess it up. I don’t emphasize her atrocities enough. I emphasize her atrocities too much. I cause trouble for myself and others, and I always end up feeling awful.

My recent writing on Ragyo’s character—found here and here—proved no different. The reception for the first post was so overwhelmingly negative that it spurred on my first-ever legitimate anon hate, and the second post only made things worse. Even now, my inbox is being filled with dismissive, rude, heartbreaking messages that bring me to tears, and though my therapist has told me not to say that I hate myself anymore, it’s difficult not to in situations like these. I hate that my wording was so poor and that I stated my opinion so badly that I incited all this rage and aggression in someone (or someones, a thought that scares me more than I would like to admit).

It may be a mistake to try to explain myself further. But I hurt people with what I said, and that bothers me. I hurt people because I struggle to explain my feelings on a cartoon character well, and I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I want to at least put in the effort to be kinder, more nuanced, and more sympathetic.

And maybe it’ll all blow up in my face. But I don’t want to not try.

So. Ragyo Kiryuin. Mother of Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi, CEO of REVOCS, and the ultimate Big Bad of Kill la Kill. Love her, hate her, or love her and hate her, she’s certainly made an impression in the anime-viewing world. And though I can’t speak for anyone else’s impression, my personal impression is... mixed.

Let’s go through this bit by bit.

A Good Villain?

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And... I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Why Does This Matter, Goop?

I know, I know. My talking about Ragyo’s efficiency as a villain probably doesn’t seem all that relevant to the stuff that egged on an anon hate assault. But I think it’s important to mention that I do believe that Ragyo is a great, powerful villain. My previous posts were so bleak and cynical that I didn’t make this point clear. It does, in retrospect, seem as though I am crapping all over the character and subtly dissing anyone who enjoys her. I’m sorry for that, and I want to stress that that was not at all my intention.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving villains—even when they’re morally bankrupt, atrocious people like Ragyo—because loving villains, of course, doesn’t automatically mean that you excuse or endorse their actions. Villains like Ragyo also leave such a strong impression on the viewers, and personally, I’ve been so captivated by this awful woman that my first attempt at my years-in-the-making Kill la Kill fairytale AU featured about a 30,000-word backstory for her. There is a lot to respect, love, and love to hate when it comes to Ragyo and how she’s written, and I never, ever mean to discount that.

However, as with all things, it’s possible to love a piece of fiction or a character or what have you and also recognize that there are problems in the portrayal. And when it comes to Ragyo, as much as I think she’s a fantastic, engaging, terrifying villain, I do take issue with her depiction.

The Sexuality Point

I got a lot of heat for my ideas regarding Ragyo’s sexuality, and I admit: I didn’t express myself well. There was a lot more I should have said and elaborated upon. Maybe I’ll still fail spectacularly, but as I said before, I don’t want to not try.

So first, I want to take a moment to discuss intentionality. While I absolutely value Author is Dead and respect fan interpretations of any work, I also recognize that narrative decisions in fiction don’t happen in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is, Ragyo was originally designed as a father but was later changed to a mother so the relationships Ragyo shares with her daughters wouldn’t seem so “murky,” “gross,” and “perverted.”

And... that disturbs me. The idea, as I see it, is that a father abusing his daughters is, more than appropriately, disgusting, but a mother abusing her daughters is somehow less bad. In fact, writer Kazuki Nakashima outright states that he didn’t want to explore the “murkiness” of these relationships, noting that he “didn’t want to mix [that] ‘murkiness’ into the battle.” My impression—which I understand might very well be wrong—is that there’s the feeling that female-on-female abuse just isn’t as serious or life changing as male-on-female abuse. There’s the feeling that you can just not talk about how devastating this sexual assault is, and that’s totally okay, because the perpetrator is a woman.

I’ve written previously—and perhaps most overtly here—that female-on-female abuse seems to get brushed off way more than it should be. It’s cute when a girl grabs another girl’s boobs, even when that other girl is noticeably and visibly unhappy. It’s adorable when a girl forces a kiss on another girl. Charming. Sweet. If you have a problem with it, you’re a homophobe.

And I think that’s so, so damaging. I wish I had some statistics (oh anon hounding me about facts, if you’re here), but I recall reading about how this mindset—this idea that girls just can’t hurt other girls—ends up keeping wlw in abusive, toxic relationships. And that’s not even mentioning how the notion that women are harmless and can’t do damage is a totally sexist one that hurts men and other genders, too!

With Ragyo, I actually think there’s a lot of powerful potential. Kill la Kill could have shown that there’s nothing sweet or cute or charming or sexy about female-on-female abuse. It could have shown that a mother sexually abusing her daughters is just as horrific as a father sexually abusing his daughters. Both good representation and bad representation are important, and I do see the value in an evil, awful lesbian; as noted above, the idea that girls can’t hurt other girls, that wlw can’t be bad, and that only men can cause harm is a dangerous mindset to have. I think it’s important to address it, particularly in anime, which attracts younger viewers.

In the past, I argued that Kill la Kill did address it. I wrote, “These scenes [depicting Ragyo’s abuses] are full of what may be typically used as fanservice—female nudity, fondling, touching—but they’re all incredibly disturbing, uncomfortable, painful, and tragic. The series makes no joke about just how violating these instances are.” I’ve seen similar arguments made today. 

But personally, now knowing more about the creation of Ragyo and being aware of the gushy, “Wow, this is so hot!”-type comments concerning the notorious bath scene in the official Trigger Magazine, I’ve since changed my tune. I think it’s undeniable that there is some “this isn’t so bad and maybe actually kinda sexy” appeal to Ragyo’s abuses, and that’s very, very disappointing to me. 

Further, being a survivor, I also find it incredibly hurtful. I’ve been too traumatized to even date ever since what happened to me happened, and to see situations like what I went through depicted in such explicit, detailed, fanservice-y ways... it disturbs me.

I understand that my opinion isn’t going to be shared by everyone, but I’ve come to believe in a “less is more” approach when it comes to these hard, real situations. Implication arguably holds far more power. For example, in all of my college film classes, Osama left one of the strongest impressions. In it, a young girl dresses as a boy to provide for her family. She’s eventually found out when she has her first period, and she’s then married off to a much older man. The ending scene of the film depicts the man washing himself just as the girl, in disguise as a boy, had been taught to do after having sex. Unlike in Kill la Kill, you don’t see the unspeakable scene at all. You know exactly what happened with just that one shot, and that one shot has stuck with me ever since. That’s a powerful, respectful way of portraying these very real, very horrific problems.

I know I cannot speak for every survivor, but I personally disagree with the notion that fiction should not discuss these topics. In my mind, fiction absolutely should because these things are real, because they happen. There could have been so much power in Ragyo’s depiction, in Satsuki’s depiction, in Ryuko’s. But the severity of Ragyo’s abuses is brushed off, and, as I see it, fetishized. That’s what I take issue with—not that there’s a potential evil lesbian, not that there’s a depiction of a mother abusing her daughters, but how this is depicted: not respectfully.

Referring more to my troublesome posts, I also want to address my point of how girls showing affection for other girls is often portrayed negatively in Kill la Kill, which could potentially send the message, “Hey, lesbians just be evilz.” Perhaps more than anything else, this hurt my readers the most. I wasn’t very clear and didn’t speak well, and I apologize.

Maybe surprisingly, I’ve also taken issue with the argument that Ryuko kissing Nui shows that a girl having an attraction towards another girl is bad. As I saw it, the kiss was simply a shocking way of showing that Ryuko is not at all herself; someone kissing the person they hate the most says more than words ever could. The scene isn’t an attack on wlw; the protagonist and the villain in this case just so happen to both be girls.

And I still believe this rebuttal. But I also have mixed feelings, which explains my previous responses. I once more have to question intentionality: if Ryuko were a boy, as shonen heroes so often are, would this scene have happened? Would Nui have been so flirty with him? Would there have been so much screen time and detail put into the kiss? Similar to my arguments about Ragyo, could there have been a potentially much more powerful scene whose power comes from its implications, not what it actually shows?

In all my years in the Kill la Kill fandom, I’ve seen reactions to that scene that find it hot, as “proving” that Ryuko/Nui is the only canon Kill la Kill pairing, and that see it in ways that I find to be unsavory. If the goal of that kiss is to cement the fact that Ryuko isn’t herself in the most shocking way possible, I could argue that it failed for a lot of viewers. In fact, one of my more looked-at posts is about why Ryuko kisses Nui. Its execution is confusing, and yes, I do believe it could potentially send some bad messages about wlw, even if that wasn’t intended.

Which, to bring this discussion back towards Ragyo, I want to take a moment to say that bad messages can be totally unintentional. As a writer myself, I think about potential bad unintentional messages all the time. For instance, in my aforementioned fairytale AU, I had a theme going (’cause it’s a fairytale and all): a healthy, beautiful baby is good, a healthy, ugly baby is bad, and an unhealthy, beautiful baby is good. Notice how there’s only one ugly baby, and they’re bad? I realized that this could subtly say something about ugly people, and I’ve decided to make a point about a heroic character being ugly in order to send the message that anyone can be good or bad, regardless of if they’re beautiful or ugly, healthy or unhealthy.

With Ragyo (and with Nui as well), I don’t at all think the intention is to show that girls loving other girls is wrong and bad. But the depiction, to me, leaves things to be desired. A lot of it feels fetishy, and the fact that Ragyo was purposely changed to a woman for “gross” concerns also greatly irks me.

And before I try to write up a conclusion of sorts, I do want to offer this: what if Ragyo stayed a man, but he was associated with white and rainbows as Ragyo is in the final cut? It was stated at this year’s Anime Expo that director Hiroyuki Imaishi has his heroic characters in black and villainous characters in white, which could possibly send messages like Darkness Isn’t Bad and the real villains are the ones who are perverting the purity, goodness, and so on that are associated with white. In the same way, if Ragyo were a man who seemed straight but had rainbow hair, it could send the message that the real villain is the one perverting this symbol of love and acceptance.

I don’t know. Just some food for thought.

Conclusion

I am bad at talking about Ragyo. I am bad at talking about serious topics. I’m sure this post proves as much.

But I hope I’ve done a better job of explaining my point of view than I did before. But if I didn’t—which, knowing me, is likely—I just want everyone to know that I don’t think you’re a reprehensible person if you like Ragyo. I don’t think Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. I don’t think she’s some terrible, awful character whom nobody can love. (At least, in regards to the writing. I hope there’s agreement that she’s a terrible, awful person.)

While I have problems with Ragyo’s depiction, I don’t think anyone is horrible and wrong if they don’t and resonate with it. I know I certainly like things that others find horrible and wrong, like the Ryuko/Senketsu pairing that I’ve been attacked left and right for, and I more than recognize and voice my own problems with it whilst still loving what I love (and politely disagreeing with the problems that others see that I don’t!)

I know I’m not good at this. But I hope I’ve conveyed my thoughts respectfully, and that, even if you strongly disagree, you know I welcome and am open to your thoughts and perspective, if you would like to share. That’s why I write these posts at all.

[tellywoodtrash]

Heyy! I really loved your analysis on The Great Indian Dysfunctional Family! Could you give your honest review on it? I mean how did you find it's plot, the story, acting, directing all in all the show and what would you rate it? Thank You! Have a nice day! :)

Hello anon!

I’ve got to thank you for sending in this question, coz I did mean to do an overall review for the show beyond the lbs, and was just dragging my feet and being a lazy POS about it. You’re keeping me honest. :)

Tbh, I’m not sure how exactly to rank or rate this show. Until Ep 6. (the one with the big reveal) I really liked it. I really really liked it. But then the show just took a bizarre turn after the reveal. The plot went kinda off the rails, most of the characters were acting very strangely, and I was just left wondering why they built all this up and made me care about these characters just to bring it all crashing down like this.

The story

Nothing new, it was basically a Kapoor & Sons ripoff; right down to the whole vibe; everything from the setting at this hillstation-esque area, to the house parties, to the interpersonal dynamics (the feuding brothers, one of whom is oblivious as to why the other one is so resentful of him; the chill idgaf elder with the shenanigans; husband-wife tension; one of the characters is gay…) to how it all played out (reveal at a fun party right after a troubled marriage got a second wind, sudden untoward death of a parent, brothers making peace after…) all seemed straight up taken from that movie. They adjusted it a little here and there to accommodate the characters and make it seem different, but overall, it was just Kapoor & Sons, the TV version.

The plot

Like I said above, I really liked the way the show was written till Ep. 6. They built up the world really nicely; the family dynamics were uneasy yet stable in a manufactured way, and it all goes to hell with the entry of the ‘outsiders’ Samar and Sonali. I liked their relationship; they seemed like a couple who not only loved each other romantically, but also genuinely liked each other as who they are as a person. They’re still in their honeymoon phase, unaware/blind of each other’s more icky personality traits. Their coupling is so perfect, that even his own mother feels vindicated when they have a minor tiff, claiming no husband and wife are ever THAT happy. On the other hand we have Vikram and Geeta, who are barely holding on to their marriage; their tension is out in the open, even as much as Geeta tried to play it down. I liked how they paralleled the two couples. They also built up the suspense well; it was pretty obvious that there had been infidelity on Geeta’s part and Mridul’s paternity was in question, but the way they ramped it up was good. All this playing around Addu’s coming out, and the social ramifications of such an act in small town India, was well done. It’s after Ep. 6 that everything goes downhill. Samar and Geeta’s characters get reallllllllly unlikable. Their only regret seems to be that everyone found out, rather than the actual deed. And neither of them seem to be really apologetic? Samar kinda brushes it off after making two, three guilty faces/dialogues, Geeta picks fights with Vikram who’s trying to make peace with her despite the fact that she slept with his brother? Ek toh chori, upar se seena jori. Just distasteful. The pace of the show also suffers post ep. 6; everything just unfolds so quickly, yet nothing is really happening, and I was just confused as to what the point of all this was, and how the characters would eventually resolve this emotional quandary. But also, with the insufferable way most of them were acting, I didn’t really care either. I was just like eh, whatever, you’ve made your beds, now lie in it. The writing for all the characters just made me apathetic to their fates. The convenient killing off of PL was just dumb and contrived. Also confusing, because they had this story-telling device of starting every episode a little bit in the future and then flashing back to the point that led to this. Idk why in just that one episode (#9) they start with that scene of her at home, high on pain meds, signing to Begum Akhtar in her sleep and then suddenly it was cut to her dying in a hospital? Just weird, and it really bothered me. But again, I was just so done with these dumbasses that I didn’t actually care.

But I do have some questions about stuff that was faulty/left unresolved:

Why was Geeta talking to Kashyap on the phone saying she “needs” him and asking him to take her away from all this? Just a random red herring to throw us off? That’s pretty bullshit.

The “clues” that Sonali used to put together the secret were pretty shaky at best. He apparently lied about landslides in the area (which… is a weird lie to keep telling over and over about a place? But also the policeman who stopped the vehicle in the earlier ep. clearly stated that it was because of a landslide. So he wasn’t even lying…) and about when/why he learned sign language? How does that lead you to ‘OMG Samar’s the father of Mridul’?? 

The whole Mridul is premature thing and was conceived when Vikram wasn’t in Kannuri thing. Geeta/Samar clearly slept together when Vikram was there. So……… That whole plot point is just null and void. He could be either brother’s kid.

Did Addu get to go to Delhi afterall? I hope she did. She deserved to get outta this close-minded small town and go live her life in a place where she could exist on her own terms. 

What were we supposed to make of the ending for Samar/Sonali? I mean, the show seemed to imply they stayed together; but from what we’d seen of Sonali as a character, she didn’t seem like the type who could make peace with disingenuity like that… Even if Samar and Sonali did stay together, it was highly unlikely she would be able to hang around with Geeta/Mridul ever again. Idk, they just left that hanging up in the air, and it was unsatisfying.

The cast

Kay Kay as Vikram: It’s completely his show. His character is the best written, and the most satisfying one to follow from start to finish. And he plays all the different facts of Vikram well: the angry, bitter man who’s lost himself as well all emotional connection with his family, the exasperated dad trying to come to terms with Addu being gay/Mridul’s effeminate tendencies, the more charming husband/loving big brother he was in the past before all of it went to shit… He plays all of it really well. You start off disliking the character, but the more you see of him, you gradually come over to his side. It’s not that he hasn’t made/isn’t currently making mistakes of his own, but you grow to sympathize with him. I also loved his brief bits of comedy. I’d like to see Kay Kay in lighter roles like these more often.

One qualm though; idk why they had him wear those tacky light-coloured lenses (reminding me of that 2006 -2010ish time in tellywood, when everyone wore those damn lenses. The entire cast of DMG used to wear the same colour and it just looked bizarre.)

Swaroop Sampat as PremLata: She was the actor is was most excited for in this show, and they just fucked me over so bad. She’s hardly in the damn show. I don’t understand why they would underutilize her talents like that. Also I’m not sure of how to feel about PL as a character; she did seem to love her family a lot, but was also very hands-off and just a witness in the bg to everything? She just seemed very uninvolved in whatever was going on, to the point of apathy, just caring about her daily chais and nothing else. But whatever few scenes Swaroop did get, she was radiant and lovely in, as expected.

Barun Sobti as Samar: I always enjoy watching Sobti. Especially in the role of a straight-man to all the madness around him. He’s so enjoyable with his genuine reactions of perplexed and exasperated and amused. But I feel like… Other than in IPK, he isn’t really ACTING. Both in Tu Hai Mera Sunday and here, he plays this chill dude, which is just who he is IRL. It’s just toooooo easy breezy, and I can see that he’s not really putting any major effort into it; compared to Arnav, whom he played in a very measured manner. Also Samar as a character stops being likable after the reveal. His reason for sleeping with Geeta is hardly compelling enough, and so is his demeanour towards Sonali after the reveal. He just doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of what he’s done. The character didn’t deserve to get the easy resolution that he did, especially because he didn’t do any work for it. Bas sabne aise hi maaf kar diya.

Eisha Chopra as Sonali: She’s a revelation. I think I’ve seen her here and there in some web sketches, but this is the first time I’m REALLY seeing her. She’s very charming and confident and a delight to watch. I’ll surely be watching her web series What The Folks in the coming days. Sonali as a character is kind of a mixed bag though. She seemed like a strong, intelligent woman coming into the show, but her bizarre turn into becoming an obsessive snoop who just wants to uncover the family secrets gets pretty annoying. There’s also a brief bit where she’s being a whiny brat for no real good reason? Other than that, I really liked Sonali as a character.

Shriswara as Geeta: A good measured performance. Her character wasn’t clearly defined in the promo, and I thought she’d be a long-suffering wife, but I’m glad she wasn’t. She did keep mum a lot to keep the peace with Vikram (because of her guilt?) but did counter him when required. Her bond with Mridul was the purest, but it was strange how she had no connection with Addu at all? Most of Addu’s parental interaction is with Vikram, despite their tension. She seems to have zero relationship with her mom. I also disliked the turn Geeta’s character took after the reveal. Like I said before, there was no real good reason for her to sleep with Samar. It was just such a flimsyyyyyyyyyyyy plot point. Upar se, she didn’t even seem contrite about it. Like, idk where she got off having that tone with Sonali asking her what her problem is, for wanting to leave after the reveal. It was just jarring. Overall I liked how Sriswara played all the different bits of Geeta; the patient wife just on the brink of losing it, the indulgent mother to Mridul, the woman in a million different clubs because she’s just trying to fill the void in her. As an actor she was very likable, it’s just that the writing for her character was shaky af.

Sanaya Pithawala as Aditi (Addu): I don’t really relate to teenage angst anymore and get annoyed by it, so I can’t really say I connected with her character, but I did feel for her and her heartbreak when Nandu crushes her brutally. I also liked her cool ‘deal with it’ attitude post the incident and the confidence with which she navigated her coming out. The plot with that boy Shashi though, it was confusing… There seemed a legit moment where she was into him. I guess she’s still really figuring out who she is as a person. Her best scenes have to be with Vikram, whether they’re clashing, she’s purposely taking the mick outta him, or trying to make up with him. She was fine, watchable, but I was very distracted by her bad wig.

Prithviraj Sarnaik as Mridul: The purest. The face of an angel. The only character worth rooting for in the show. (I mean Addu too, I guess, but I found her kinda obnoxious at times.) I normally do not like child actors, but this kid was very adorable. He really seemed to have a maturity to him; silently observing and taking in everything. Other than PL, he’s the only one who really gets everything that’s going on here in this shitshow of a family. I felt really bad about how all these badly behaved adults probably traumatised the kid for life. But overall, it was a charming little performance and I wish they’d made him the overarching narrator of the show, coz I loved his little voiceovers every now and then.

Overall

Overall, I’d say this is okay for a one-time watch. It will disappoint you towards the end; because you just stop caring for these characters, which is a mark of crappy writing. But it does have an able star cast that does the best they can with the material on hand, so if you have some time to kill, and like these actors from other stuff, it’s worth a dekko (esp. since each ep is only about 15 - 18 minutes long; you can be done with the whole show in about 3 hours…)

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Hey, it's me again. The idiot rambling anon. I wasn't gonna spam you again, but then I read your responses. At this point, I'm convinced you're my alter ego, lol. My thoughts are all over the place, but I'll try to organize them. So, about Nick. I've purposely avoided talking about him so far, but why the hell not? Let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT of of those thirsty fangirls. But even if I was? I wouldn't get offended or butthurt, because another person likes different fictional

2) characters (of all things) than me. I mean, big fucking deal. Each to their own, no need for apologies. ;) (My tone is a little aggressive, I know, but I’m sick and tired of some people on social media –in and out of fandoms– acting holier-than-thou and sending hate messages and even actual death threats (!) to creators or people that express unpopular opinions*. It’s reached a point where many people feel the need to put disclaimers in their posts so as not to be attacked.)

3) Back to Nick. I liked him just fine back in early S1, when he was all mysterious and his background story was unknown to us. When we did learn about it and the fandom started acting like he’s that pure, handsome angel uwu? Nah. Obviously, he’s no Fred/Serena/Lydia,but he’s not a “cinnamon roll” either. (Imo, the only decent dude on that show is Luke.) I mean, if Nick was SO altruistic, he wouldn’t have joined this job. Or even after everything went down, he could have tried to help other

4) handmaids without expecting anything in return. But no, he only helps June and that’s because he’s in love with her. I’m not blaming him for trying to survive under such circumstances, but I won’t idolize him either. Now, in s2? I’m kinda neutral about him. I don’t hate him, but I can’t say that I’m a fan either. Not gonna lie, he bores me at times, because he’s just… there. No sparks, no fireworks. Not sure if it’s the writing that doesn’t do the actor any favors, but his acting hasn’t

5) really drawn me in yet. A counterexample to this? Aunt Lydia. Her personality is despicable 98% of the time and yet. Dowd’s captivating performance makes me want to know so much more about her character.) On the other hand, I’m glad that June has someone (besides Rita) to back her up in that hellhole. She needs comfort and allies. But the whole ‘tRu Love 5eva" fanon thing? No, thanks. Not only it doesn’t fit the tone of the series, but I also believe that sharing an intense, forbidden love/

6) during such a shitstorm is not the same thing as keeping it alive after all is said and done (post-Gilead). Maybe they’ll stay together (as long as Nick doesn’t die), maybe they’ll fall apart. I can’t really see June romantically reconnecting with Luke either. After everything she’s been through… She’s a completely different person now. Unfortunately, the same things goes for Emily and her wife. Even though I’d love to see her interact with both her wife and her child in S3.

———

My inbox is so beautiful right now! Never, ever call yourself an idiot, my friend. (If you are, then so am I!) Brain twins, you see.

(Also sorry about this being out of order lol.)

I was trying not to talk about him too cos generally I just … I prefer not to think about him much. The fangirls, just, *sigh*. I try to avoid as much as possible in this fandom, esp on tumblr. Just hang out in my quiet little, not-Serena-hating corner. I always feel a need to put disclaimers these days cos as much as I don’t really care about random hate, I’d prefer not to have to deal with dogpiles or to look at it lmao. Like people can go around just hating on any character here–especially if they’re women–but say one critical (not even hateful) thing about their male fav and things just go off. 

I’m more than aware the majority of people don’t like Serena and think she’s the worst thing ever. And fair play! (I get it… cos I’m not delusional. She’s awful.) Each to their own. I don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her. (There are a few posts I do engage with cos normally they seem like they want to go deeper in The Discourse but most Serena/Lydia/Eden/Janine/June-hate I just ignore.)

ITA. S1 was, like, okay. That’s Nick. What’s he up to? What’s his deal? (I don’t really care but I’m not opposed to him either. Just like I didn’t care about Luke’s backstory/escape.) He’s trying to be good to June and she needs that.When we did learn his backstory I was not pleased cos he seemed like a twerp but whatevs. Grey characters are grey. It wasn’t until S2 that I started to get irked by him (and the hypocrisy of his fans but that’s a whole other issue). 

I can’t agree ANY more with your assessment of Nick. Like that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been saying! Firstly, he was RIGHT THERE when the Handmaid/Ceremony thing was first suggested and was like “Oh, yeah, great idea!” to Fred. I get that perhaps he was pressured to go along to keep his job but that’s a stretch imo, and if you can give him that sort of leeway, why can’t characters like Eden, Serena, Lydia and June get the same benefit of the doubt for certain things? Why is Nick’s pressure to keep his job more important and forgivable than anybody else’s pressures? It’s like that entire scene doesn’t exist to fangirls and Nick is so precious and in love and wonderful. Then there’s the rape of June. Like I know it’s pretty controversial to look at it that way, but that first time, with Serena overseeing it like a fucking creepy pimp (YUUUUUUCCCKKKKK I HATE IT THANKS) was rape. June barely knew the guy and I’m pretty sure if she wanted to have sex with him it wouldn’t be like that! And sure, after that, it was totally consensual but that first time was not. And I’ve heard the justification and excuses of “Well, Nick didn’t have a choice either!” which I call bullshit on, cos Nick is not some powerless delivery boy. 

He’s a fucking Guardian who is tight with the top Commanders. He’s a man, if nothing else. Serena can act all high and mighty but she’s still a woman in a highly misogynistic society. I’m not convinced Fred would take his wife’s word over Nick’s tbh, especially if it was like “Dude, your crazy wife asked me to fuck the Handmaid you’re obsessed with”. If he really didn’t want to do it that badly, he could have taken that chance to report Serena. Even if Fred wanted to keep it hush hush away from other Commanders, he would have gone after Serena. Men are far more likely to turn on women than each other, esp in THT. But that’s just my take. Maybe I am missing something about Nick’s status. To me, it was like double rape. Neither of them wanted to do it, like that anyway. But Nick also did fuck all to stop it when IMO he did have some power to do something. He is not a helpless victim in that society, imo. Again, probably not a well-received opinion. 

Don’t even get me started on his “Poor me!” routine in S2 when June tells him to have sex with Eden. I’m glad she called him on that bullshit. (But again, over the fangirls heads. Enough about them!)

Basically, everything Nick has done wrong isn’t his choice; he’s just a victim. In a story about women, Nick’s victimhood at the hands of these nasty women and men is the real issue. Blah. Whatever.

I just find Nick lacks total self-awareness about being part of the shitty ass system. He kind of just floats around thinking nothing is his fault and he’s blameless for it all, and he certainly can’t seem to see it from anyone’s perspective except his own. He’s upset about Fred & June’s Jezebel trips, not for her own safety or well-being but mainly he’s jealous. Of course he’s concerned about her safety but I believe it takes a backseat to his jealousy. He just seems to never take any responsibility for anything.

And BINGO about the previous Handmaid. Nothing we’ve been shown has given any hint he cares about any other woman’s plight in Gilead other than June, and only cares about her cos he had a crush/fucked her/is in wuv wiv her. Basically, she’s HIS so suddenly he cares about her. Look how fast he dumped that Martha as soon as he got brooding about June. He’s done fuckall for anybody except himself and that alone makes me dislike him. He’s no better than Fred in that way for me. But where Fred can occasionally be an interesting villain, cos Fiennes is nasty good, I find the actor who plays Nick just… not engaging. And he’s not SUPPOSED to be a villain! He’s meant to be a good guy! It’s crazy. He’s not compelling, he’s not interesting. He’s bland. He’s not even good looking, lol. I was watching with a friend once and mention I thought Fred was way better looking than Nick and she just stared at me and said, “You shouldn’t say that. But me too.” So, count me in the camp that just does not get the appeal of the character OR the actor.

I don’t hate Nick generally. I am just totally indifferent to his existence. If he left the show tomorrow, I’d shrug and probably be a little glad I don’t have to see that bland moping anymore. If he stays, oh well. Shrug. And I just don’t want his and June’s star-crossed romance shoved down my throat. It’s so… I dunno. I’m not opposed to June finding solace and hope but making it some beautiful forbidden romance, I’m not buying it. Like you said, it’s all well and good in Gilead–but it doesn’t strike me as something that can be sustainable outside it. To borrow from you last time: It’s the Handmaid’s Tale, not The Guardian + the Handmaid’s Tale.

Okay, enough about that pipsqueak. I don’t even like talking about him, tbh. He’s not worth it when there’s so much else going on.

ITA about Luke/June too. I feel like the level of disconnection and trauma that they’ve sustained, especially June, they can try to reconnect but it’s pretty difficult and I think especially with June having a sexual/romantic relationship with Nick pulls that really tight. It’s just two different planets they live on now. I don’t doubt that she still loves Luke, but actually reforming the relationship they previously had seems like an impossible task considering everything both of them have been through. It’s sad, but … sadly true for many people. Relationships can fall apart for far less.

And on the same page about Emily/Sylvia too. She is just soooooo fucking broken, and hopeless, that if they have them just rekindle with no issues, it’ll be bad writing. (I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.

Back to Lydia: Exactly! There’s a character we know very little about and who is a horrible person, yet the performance by Dowd makes almost everyone go, “TELL ME MORE!” With Nick, it’s the opposite for me. I’m just like, “Please, less of this.”

[omegastation]

So far Im conflicted over dbh. Ive watched lets plays of the game and really like the characters and I understand that the game has flaws with its worldbuilding and how problematic David cage can be but ppl act like if you like 1 aspect of the game youre just as bad as Cage and that youre excusing any bad thing he does because “you just like the bland white robot uwu”. The sound design and the characters are what I like the most, but it feels like Im not allowed to like anything about the game

I don’t know much about Cage or controversy related to DBH but I do think at some point the fandom police needs to calm the fuck down and let people enjoy things. I’m really tired of the endless fandom wank and anon hate sent to people just because they said “I like this one character.”Anon hate is never a good idea but really, sending anon hate to this one person who said “I like Connor” (as seen on my dashboard not so long ago) is not how you change things. Pointing out that there is a systematic appreciation for white men in fiction and that other characters who have compelling storylines are ignored by fandom is already much better. Even so, people have a right to like Connor and they don’t need to write a hundred disclaimers like “I swear I am a good person I promise!!!!”Same for liking the game. You’re allowed to like it!!!! There is just a big difference between you saying “I love it and it has no flaws” and you saying “I love it and I fully recognize it’s not perfect.” The second statement doesn’t make you a monster. I mean someone really needs to explain to me why we always have to either fully embrace something to the point of worship or entirely reject it? It’s unhealthy as fuck and doesn’t seem to lead to positive changes.And it’s IMPOSSIBLE to see something entirely non-problematic these days.

Also this whole “if you like it that means you’re exactly like the creator” bit reminds me of people who jump down my throat every time I reblog a post that says something really nice (“i like cats”) but OP is apparently a bad person and somehow I’m supposed to know. Like I’m supposed to check every post made by everyone before ever reblogging them. Do you think I have that kind of time? No, I don’t. But let’s say OP who’s like “i like cats” once wrote (problematic theme) fics. Suddenly I get anons screaming at me like “oh so you have a (problematic theme) kink and think (problematic theme) is okay do you????”That kind of logic baffles me. I mean sure, everyone can have a policy to not support awful people but expecting everyone to know everything about every creator out there is just not realistic. And if you happen to watch, read or play something made by someone problematic, it does not mean you endorse them. First you have to know what they did. Once you do know, it’s your choice to keep supporting them or not. But like I said, nothing is not problematic. There are different levels of problematic, which people refuse to even talk about because they truly believe it’s all or nothing. Either it’s 100% pure or it’s irredeemable garbage. But if you take away every problematic content out there or decide to only accept content not made by assholes, you get very little to watch, read or play. Assholes are everywhere! It’s important to point out when they are assholes (when you actually know or are told) but at some point I think we should be realistic about this.

[fck-no-antipsych-blog]

So, let’s get started with the initial reason for creating this blog: namely, one user spreading conspiracy theorist levels of misinformation on ABA.

Here, I am going to dissect @the-real-seebs ’s last answer to one of my asks, which I will stick here:

The only credible evidence of "ABA abuse" any of you can come up with, and the only case I have EVER seen of electric shocks being used in the last several decades, is the JRC. Which is not even an ABA facility, though it uses behaviorism-based techniques. They're for actively dangerous patients as a last resort, and while we might disagree on the ethics of their methods, using it as an evidence of ABA being bad is incredibly disingenuous. ABA therapy DOES NOT USE NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT.

So let’s get started!

Okay, so, I really clearly and unambiguously said “do not try to argue this with me on anon”. Here you are.

Yes. It turns out I cannot stand misinformation on something that is literally saving lives. How interesting.

You want to see the abuse? You’re being abusive, right here, right now. That this ask was sent tells me, with no potential for doubt or inaccuracy or guesswork, that you are willing to behave in 100% unambiguously abusive ways. You know that you were asked not to do this, and yet, here you are.

This is a common pattern I have observed in seebs. “You’re being abusive” allows him to shut down all discussion, and sometimes, as he actually did for one of my earlier asks, he adds some sexual connotation to it. The reason is simple: seebs surrounds himself with abuse victims, especially CSA. I am not entirely sure why, but I’ll be honest, I am vaguely suspecting easy channels for emotional manipulation. This is in extremely bad faith, though.

You. Are. Abusive. Right here, right now. You are engaging in behavior which violates a clearly stated boundary, where there is no justification for violating that boundary. It would require minimal effort to follow the stated boundary, and you won’t.

Your initial boundary was, in fact, “Go away”. This is the first time you mention going off anon as a possibility, and I explicitly said I would. Anyway, fuck that. Ignoring a boundary that has been clearly stated in bad faith? Is not only something that’s not abusive, but something you. Have. Done. And anyway, “stating boundaries” in order to silence a conversation is abusive. No matter how you word it.

Furthermore, you make a number of false claims.

And I would love to be proven wrong! Listen, if it suddenly turns out, against everything I’ve ever actually learned, that ABA is inherently abusive, and violent, and gives kids PTSD systematically, and cannot ever possibly be used well? I’ll drop all my plans for going into it. Because I’m not a fucking sociopath.

I have pointed out other examples of abusive behavior in the past, as have many other people. The electric shock example stands out because it’s on one of the clearly-defined lists of “things we know are fucked up” that you don’t have to walk people through to get them to understand a thing.

Could you point me to those other examples? I don’t seem to find them in your previous answers. Anyway, we know these things are fucked up because someone did them at some point in the past. I’ll outright say it: while Løvaas didn’t know what he was doing was wrong, it absolutely was.

But notice how that was decades ago. ABA started with Løvaas, but it absolutely didn’t stop evolving once he was gone. Claiming otherwise is about as stupid as saying brain surgeons are all evil because of lobotomies.

But that doesn’t mean it’s the only credible evidence.

I would, again, love to see the others. No, unfortunately, blog posts don’t count, sorry. You know about as well as I do how often people lie on the Internet, especially when they have an agenda, and we might both know a few of the abusive groups stirring up anti-psychiatry sentiment.

You claim that ABA “does not use negative reinforcement”.

Minor aside here: I am using “negative reinforcement”, not in the actual behaviorist sense (taking away something, e.g. a toy), but in the pop culture sense of “punishment for bad behavior”, as opposed to “rewards for good behavior”. I’m pointing that out because another person attempted to use papers with that word (under the behaviorist definition) for some scare-mongering earlier.

And yet, so many people have been through so many things that were called “ABA” which did, but they don’t count,

I can claim to cure cancer by bleach enemas. Does that mean all oncologists are frauds? ABA being the only evidence-based form of treatment for symptoms of autism spectrum disorders (again, I would love to be proven wrong) means many non-board-certified hacks call their therapy ABA. Which you have admitted yourself. (See all variants of “Sometimes they just call their therapy ABA for insurance purposes but it’s ~*~actually good~*~”, which, yes, is fraud)

because you’re not actually here to argue a point or understand a thing, you’re here to demonstrate your ability to continue applying force to a person who asked you to stop. Because you are the abuser.

I am honestly impressed. It’s probably the antisocial traits, but that is the most amazing mastery of social manipulation I have seen in a person with autism. You know exactly what the demographic of your blog’s viewers is, and you appeal to emotions they, specifically, relate to. “Applying force”, by sending mean anons, of course, “to a person who asked you to stop”: you’re not attempting to argue against me, you’re pushing your sexually abused friends’ buttons.

This sounds ironic, but I am, in fact, impressed.

As I said before: If you want to argue off anon, you’re allowed, and I’d be willing to show you more evidence and actually do some of your research for you.

(Watch him backpedal at this. I bet you’re going to call me even more abusive for going off anon.)

But you aren’t, are you? You even said you could but then decided not to. Why? To show that you have power. To show that you can hurt people who’ve told you to stop.

*sad trombone noises*

For the record: I’m lazy. Making a Tumblr account takes effort. Executive dysfunction is abusive now, incredible.

The problem isn’t that you aren’t aware of ABA tactics that are abusive. The problem is that you are willing to do abusive things, and will never admit that they are abusive,

I’m stealing something from your own rhetorical maneuvering here, but: fun fact, a hallmark of narcissistic behavior is insulting other people by accusing them of something the person does themself.

because you don’t feel like it’s abusive to hurt people to show them that you have the power to hurt them in order to compel them to act.

“Compel them to act”? Sure, I prefer you posting my asks to you blocking me, but it’s at worst an inconvenience, as seen here by the fact that I have this freshly-made Tumblr account.

And this whole post is nothing to you but an affirmation that hurting people to make them give you the responses you wanted is a good tactic that works and since it’s effective no one should call it abuse.

You know, you’re good at that stuff. Because you wanted exactly this out of me, didn’t you? Making me go off anon and interact directly so that you can feel smug and righteou--

And I’m posting this because you will feel smug and righteous and like you proved your point that hurting people and disregarding boundaries works,

*snorts*

and everyone else will say “wow, ABA really is that fucked up”.

Great job with that post! Also at myself, honestly, it was hard to go through in its entirety.

Anyway, sure, blast away. Send me all this Absolute Proof Of All ABA Being Abuse Always All The Time. I’ll wait.

[jonsa-creatives]

Fic prompt: Sansa is drunk when Jon returns to winterfell. They discuss potential marriage alliances for each of them, Sansa with a little too much candor... Jon helps Sansa ready tor bed because she's too hammered.

Hi Anon! Thank you for the prompt and apologies for the delay. Real life is sometimes so annoying. Sooo… This sounds like a fun and what could probably be a delicious premise but the romantic in me told me other wise (also I blame the Spotify playlist I was listening to) so here’s the one I did instead. 

Summary: From S7 but pre- Dragonstone. I had in mind a scene which explained the LF chokeslam, Jon’s emotions/reason behind that one bit which seems to be puzzling everyone (except Jonsa shippers.. we know why ahem). Hidden feelings, canon verse and slightly incesty. Ending bit inspired by Outlander.

Mood music: Photograph by Ed Sheeran & I Could Fall in Love by Selena

Rated GF - general fluff. Safe to read :)

I hope you like it and I’m so sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. I’ll do better next time, promise! So many prompts to fill, so little time… *sighs*

Anyways,  enjoy!

~ Mod Elle

I’ll Pray for You, Always

It was a knockthat broke the dam. Three gentle raps on the door that caught him unawares, of the torrential flood of thoughts and feelings that had led him up to this point. A point, if crossed, there was no return.

It had already been hours after dusk and several casks of ale between him and Davos that Jon decided it was perhaps better discussed with a clearer mind. The sudden interruption was welcomed indeed. Another soft knock caused Jon to let out a small smile when he recognised who it was.

“It’s late. Bestwe discuss this again tomorrow, Ser Davos. Get some rest.”

Davos nodded andgreeted Sansa as she entered the chambers. “Aye, it is. Till then, your Grace.My Lady.”

Sansa returnedhis greeting with a nod and turned her attention to Jon, albeit only brieflybefore her eyes caught sight of the large map laid on the study before her.

“Setting upfortresses and guard posts, facing the Wall. Hope to get around it soon,” Jonexplained as he watched her examine the various sigils placed on differentparts of the map. In time hopefully, before the dead come marching.

 “For the WhiteWalkers?”

Jon sighed andhis hands sought for his goblet. “Aye. Sentry posts. No harm in guarding theNorth from everything else.“

“Are you goingto tell the Lords of your plans then?” Sansa asked as her thumbs ran along themap’s edges. It was an old parchment, a map from the library, one thatresembled another that Maester Luwin once owned as he told stories of the First Menwhen they were little.

“Soon enough.Still up?” Jon looked up at Sansa as he set his cup down. That was the last ofhis ale and Jon realised tonight was going to be another of him keeping watch.Sleep was but a memory.

Sansa sighed wistfully.The nightmares still haunt her and kept her away from her own bed. No. Nothers. Mother and Father’s bed.

“I find it hardto sleep sometimes. Being back here… In mother and father’s room. It’sdifferent, I suppose. Takes some getting used to.”

Jon nodded, he knew well what she meant. It was just the two of them now. And Winterfell Castle. The future of Winterfell and the North rested on both their weary shoulders. Itwas a burden, he could not deny; yet a gift of honour, to be the protector of the very home heknew and loved.

“Lord Manderlysent us a wagon of wine, this morning. From his own press, he said. I waswondering if the King in the North would like to try some,” Sansa held up acask and smiled.

Jon could only chuckle atthe impeccable timing. “Well, I won’t be a good King if I didn’t. I’ll give my thanksto him tomorrow. You didn’t have to send it to me personally, Sansa.”

Sansa pouredsome into Jon’s empty cup and another for herself. “I didn’t want to risk anytalk of battle leaving your chambers, should you and Davos were discussing suchmatters. So I decided to take this to you myself.”

Jon’s lipsslowly curved into a smile. Talk of battles and Sansa. Nothing could be further apart. Who is this girl? This woman? Nonetheless, it was still as clear as day as he remembered it, the moment hiseyes fell on her, as he watched the Knights of the Vale stomp the Bolton armyto their deaths. Sansa did not flinch one bit as the carnage unfolded beforeher. It was almost as if it was another person who led the march and not thesweet Sansa he thought he once knew.

“Well, weweren’t but caution is always good advice. And I need to listen more, or soI’ve been told.”

Sansa grinnedand once again it struck him, the stirring rising within him, as he caught the sparkle ofher pale blue eyes, as blue as the azure sky on a clear summer’s day, againstthe  gentle flicker of candle light.

“It’s quitegood, no? Good thing he sent a wagon load of it, perhaps I should thank him toowhen you do,” Sansa giggled as she sipped the last mouthful swirling in her cup.This was very likely her third. Or fourth. Fifth, maybe. It was all a blur. She remembered itwas a large and heavy cask that she carried in her hand. She had lost count howmany Jon had already.

"Aye it is.Very good. I didn’t know you like wine, Sansa. But then..  I suppose I don’t know much about you,now, do I.”

The wine hadbrought a slight flush to her face and made her belly warm, besides her wearymood it lifted. Indeed, it was good. She felt lighter, almost as if she could float, without a carein the world. She could do anything, say anything and be anything she wanted.

“Mmm… Idon’t normally drink, I’ve seen what it does to people but this wine, I quite likeit. And what exactly do you wish to know about me, your Grace?” Sansa teased playfully as she slowly rose from her seat and walked carefully to the edge of the bed. Itlooked awfully like hers. Why yes, it was her bed.

“Sansa, areyou all right? Do you wish to return to your room? I’ll go fetch Brienn-”

“You sillynumpty, this is my room. But you can stay, if you like. I like talking to you,” Sansasaid, her voice in an almost whisper and smiled sweetly at Jon. It was true. If he wasn’this usual grumpy self, Jon was perfectly good company. Sansa liked that he wasfamily, someone she could feel safe with. As long as Jon was with her, nothingcould harm her. Not even her nightmares. Perhaps, tonight sleep would finally come.

Jon watched asSansa slowly lowered her head down till it rested on his pillow, her lovely smile made his heart swell and flutter all atthe same time, a feeling he was quite unfamiliar with, yet highly frequent of late.

“Jon?”

 “Yes,Sansa?“

 “Have you everthought of sharing your bed, you know… With someone?”

The question joltedhim to sit up, pricking his ears wondering if he had heard wrongly, no thanks to the wine. He wascontent in leaving Sansa in his bed, while he watched her sleep from afar in his chair.It wasn’t meant for sleeping but it would do for tonight. If he could sleep atall, that is.

“Excuse me, LadySansa, what do you mean? I don’t think it’s something we should be discussing-”

“I never thoughtI wanted it. No. Not, after Ramsay. I didn’t want him near me at all. After what hedid to me.”

 “Sansa, I-”

“But… But Iwish to be held sometimes. In someone’s arms. Someone whom I love and who lovesme back. I’ve always wondered what that feels like. I never knew and maybeI never will.”

“Don’t say that,Sansa. That’s not true.”

Jon glanced down uncomfortably, at his fidgety fingers as a slight lump formed in his throat.

“Who would wantme, Jon? I’m twice married, both to enemies of our family. Both that I know who don’tlove me. At least not the way I want to be loved. And, yet… here I am stillwondering and hoping if there’s anyone out there who would? I’ve prayed so hardfor it, I must confess. Besides praying for our family. I always say a prayerfor my beloved to come to me. Is that silly? I hope he prays for me, too. Well…Whoever he is. Perhaps, men like you don’t thinkof such things but… have you thought of that, Jon? Don’t you ever wonder?”

There were amillion things he should have said to end the conversation. Or how he couldhave just left his own chambers, at that very moment. That was what he shouldhave done, or at least what he imagined doing.

But hedidn’t. Instead, it was something deep inside that compelled him to leave his chair and approach his bed. It was something else entirely, when he came and sat beside Sansa,whose eyes were slowly closing, blissfully oblivious to anything or anyone around her. Jonlooked at his empty cup and placed it on the floor, afraid and uncertain of hisnext move. This was very strange ground, indeed. Inappropriate and forbidden,yet it was this very nature that made his heart soar in ecstasy and delight. And in love.

His hands itchedto run through the soft copper locks and caress the pale alabaster skin. Sansa, a name that echoed in his mind relentlessly, dayand night, wherever he went and whatever he did. The name that was surely the cause of his unrest and sleeplessnights. Chastising himself for feeling that way only heightened his longing and there was nothing he could do but let it pass.

“Yes, Sansa Ido. I want and wish for the same things you do. Though I wish I had more time.”I wish we had more time. And I wish you weren’t my half sister.

"Hmmm…”Sansa mumbled in response, her voice drifting and her eyes shut as her soft breathing fellinto a rhythmic pace. Jon paused to watch. She was a mesmerizing sight tobehold. Even in her sleep, she had Jon overcome with emotions and thoughts henever knew he had in him.

Lady ofWinterfell; a delicate Northern rose of astonishing beauty. Jon leaned downcarefully and gently stroked Sansa’s cheek, tucking away the stray strands from her face, behind her ears. His lips were only a breath away from hers but it summoned everything in Jon to pull back. Instead, he laid down next to her, his mouthclose to her ear and took in a deep breath.

Aye, I am a manof little faith but I pray sometimes. To the old gods and whoever that takes heed. 

“Shield mybeloved, my gentle dove and the love she bears in her heart. Keep her safe fromharm, in this place and every place. On this night and on every night,” Jon whispered as he pressed his lips gently against her temple.

He too, had a prayer. A dear one; one he kept close to his heart.

“That is myprayer for you, sweet girl. Even if I’m not yours, I’ll pray for you that… One day, maybe in another life, you’re mine. To have and to hold. Always.”

thanks for reading! 

[jcmorgenstern]

So far, do you prefer show Sebastian or book Sebastian and why? As compelling as I found book Sebastian, I am LOVING what the show is doing. He seems more humanistic and fleshed out as a character.

Hi anon!! Okay listen first I apologize because this ask is going to be very long and enthusiastic, because this is my favorite topic and I have so. many. thoughts on it.

So obviously, despite his uh, salient and penetrating flaws (both in his character and portrayal), I really am way too fond of book Sebastian. Especially when he is written as a more ambiguous figure (the beginning half of COLS) than an absolute maniac. He’s manipulative and dangerous, and alongside Jace seems to raise the question of “nature vs nurture.” Unfortunately the answer to the “nature vs nurture” debate that his story gives is the biggest problem I have with his portrayal and role in the story–everything is always tied back to his “demon blood,” which he cannot seem to overcome or escape. He is by nature evil, inhuman, subhuman even, at least in Clary’s eyes. If you read the cut scenes from City of Glass from his POV, even he doesn’t think of himself as human or understanding human things, and while it is implied somewhat thinly that this is at least partially due to his upbringing by Valentine, the narrative explicitly ties his failings as a character and a being to his blood. He is by nature evil, and cannot be anything but until the demon blood is burned away by heavenly fire.

The problem with this is that she spends the entire series showing us that “blood doesn’t matter,” both in terms of family ties and sins (the Morgenstern blood) or actual demon blood (the downworld). It borders on a plothole when you have Tessa born of a shadowhunter and a demon, being completely human and having none of Sebastian’s apparent natural evil. More troubling is the implication that nature is more important than nurture–Jace is not different from Sebastian because he was raised by the Lightwoods with compassion and love, but because he has angel blood. I could babble on even more about how Sebastian presents as psychopathic (ie devoid of empathy) and how attributing that to demon blood sort of throws all low-empathy people under the bus and ignores the fact that even someone completely devoid of empathy can be kind and sympathetic, but that would make this post waaaaay too fucking long so yeah.Anyway, my point is here that while I really love book Sebastian, I have a lot of problems with both how he’s written and the implications of how he’s portrayed, and the show changes pretty much everything I dislike. First, while the crispy-shapeshifter reveal initially threw me for the loop of the fucking century (if I hadn’t been in a library at the time I would have fucking screamed, lmao), it actually does fix the Tessa-Sebastian plothole problem and honestly fits even more closely with the facts established in TID. (I’m not here to rag on CC for not being able to somehow divine stuff she’d make up for later books, like that’s sort of stupid, but really just praising the show for creative use/manipulation of canon). We don’t really know….what exactly Sebastian’s “demon powers” include, but the shapeshifting stuff definitely falls in line with canon, and it also makes more sense in a technological world that he’d be able to fool the Clave into thinking he’s the real Sebastian Verlac.But more importantly they completely change the dynamic of his motivations, past, and the shape of his character arc. The show has consistently emphasized Jace’s trauma due to his abuse by Valentine (especially in 2a), and they also allow Sebastian the same thing. In fact, they really take it to ridiculous levels (instead of “beat one boy but not the other” they straight up send him to literal fucking hell), as if to slam your skull into the fact that Valentine Is An Abusive Dad (not that the fandom really…noticed lmao). At the core, show!Sebastian wants Valentine’s love more desperately than Jace ever does, and even his plot to “avenge” himself by sending Valentine to Edom quickly degenerates into demanding/begging for approval and any indication Valentine cares for him at all or regrets his actions. (More on the complexities of Valentine and how the Agony rune made him relive sending Jonathan to Edom as his worst memory at nine). Show Sebastian desperately wants some kind of love or affection, and that’s the most relatable/human motivation I personally can think of. He’s more complex–does he shove a kid off a bridge at age eight because he’s a psychopathic monster, or because he’s been raised to be a soldier with no empathy? (His justification that he wanted to test the theory of gravity is uh….laughably stupid, though. Google it next time, buddy). Even the really bad stuff like killing the real Sebastian, trying to kill Max, kissing his sister is reoriented. He kills the real Sebastian because he escapes captivity and he’ll do anything to get to Valentine (still not great but better than “lol i did it bc i could”), he actually could possibly have not meant to deal Max a killing blow (not sold on this one personally but Max doesn’t even fucking die so that really undercuts whatever emotional impact Max’s death even had to begin with), and the kiss was almost “I have no social skills because I spent like, ten years of my life in hell with demons and I don’t know I should opt for a tasteful hug instead.” Even his deeply disturbing obsession with Clary is reframed as a hope for any sort of love or redemption, which he’s sort of…creepily/naively shoved on her because she defends him to Jace.Also they make him extremely charming and manipulative and honestly Will just. Knocked that shit outta the ball park, also knocked me out of the ball park, I really love show Sebastian, he’s horrible and would probably open a portal to hell in a grocery store. Watching him stay loyal to Valentine while knowing deep down that Valentine is using him is really hard for my dumb ass, okay, and I am so so SO ready for season three and exploring how Lilith gives him what he’s always wanted (a parent who loves him), and what kinds of choices the showrunners have him make from here, he’s so much more complex and human than book Sebastian is and entirely driven by his past rather than some bullshit “demon blood” magically making him evil and anyway I’m ending this now because I don’t even want to know how many words this answer was. Anyhoo thank you so so much for the ask I really really enjoyed answering it, and hope you get something out of the….massive wall of text too??

[goodguyjean]

(1/11) Hi! I’m the same anon who talked about Jean and revenge in the anime. I wrote out my response and it ended up being so long. But I don’t have a tumblr so I can only respond about 90 characters at a time. Please feel free to ignore me b/c I think this is the most obnoxious thing I’ve done on the internet. But I love your metas and opinions so much I really want to share and get your thoughts!! I’m going to try to keep it organized as possible. So for starters, Uhm thank you for answering

[The rest of the ask is under the cut because of length! This post is primarily an analysis of Jean’s character development and Marco’s death]

Hi anon, thankyou for sending me this response! I’m happy you’ve enjoyed my metas and that they’ve inspired you to write meta about Jean; as I said previously, please get a tumblr and join the meta community! Your ask is thought-provoking and well-reasoned and I enjoyed it a lot!

Your reading of Jean’s character developmentis great—I think it is a coherent assessment of his portrayal in the manga thathits on several really key points about Jean’s empathy and how it stems fromhis ability to personalize loss (or, I should say, to feel it on a personallevel). I think you’re right that the loss of Marco is personal for Jean, and Iadmit that perhaps I push back too hard against this idea in my previousanalyses of their relationship. They do have a meaningful relationship, and Ithink Jean is closer to Marco than many of the other recruits—even if hehimself doesn’t realize it, or their friendship is still under development.While I do think fandom often overstates their closeness and it is played up inthe anime, in the manga Marco is the person who puts up with Jean the most(apart from long-haired guy; who is he and where did he go?!) and who actuallymanages to understand something important about him that almost everyone else(Eren, Reiner, Sasha, even Armin) misses. Heck, even Jean doesn’t understandhis potential as a leader until after he gets thrown into the thick of thebattle for Trost, yet Marco hits on something crucial in Jean’s characterbefore he’s ever even tested.  

I have a fewfollow up points that I have been thinking over this past week based on yourexcellent analysis here (and, again I am so sorry for the delayed response!). Thefirst is that while I agree with your assessment of Jean’s characterdevelopment in the manga and the role that Marco plays in it, I still thinkthat the anime portrays Marco’s death and his camaraderie with Jean in such away as to turn Jean’s decision to join the Survey Corps into a much greatercharacter metamorphoses than it is in the manga. My second follow up comes backto what exactly is happening in that “charred bones” quote; I talked to myfriend @mirandafandomette​ about it, and we discovered that the official Frenchtranslation is quite different than the English one, further muddying in thewaters about what exactly Jean is trying to communicate here. Neither of usread Japanese, but the discrepancy in translation makes me think that Jean’swords are not particularly clear here—he’s speaking in some kind of riddle,perhaps!

To speak to thefirst point, I think I have understated the relationship between Marco and Jeanin some of my previous metas (I will admit to this!) because both the fandomand the anime paint Marco’s death as a catalyst for a huge character“reversal”, when I think what happens to Jean is closer to what you’ve laid outabove—he realizes the full extent of how much he cares for his comrades andcomes to the conclusion that the only he way he can ensure their safety is byjoining the Corps and attempting to fight the titans properly. His mind turnsover both Eren and Marco’s words to him over the course of his trainingdays—and even though he knows he is most likely going to end up dead, hedecides it’s the only thing he can do in good conscience. In the manga, Ithink, Jean’s previous cynicism and defeatism contextualizes this moment ofshifting from self-centered cynic to responsible-moral-bedrock-of-the-series,because it explained Jean’sself-preservation instincts. He has kind of always cared, it’s why he became socynical in the first place; he cares about the reason given for the “operationto retake Wall Maria”, he cares about the rhetoric of “heroic citizens” who areactually shunted to the front lines to serve as bait for titans, and he caresabout Eren’s friends and Eren leading people to their deaths. In the manga, hisdecision to get a spot in the MP is born out of his certainty that everyone isgoing to die anyway—to get invested in others at such a point in history is toinvite despair. It’s a horribly bleak outlook on life that even Jean can’tmanage to maintain. He cares for Eren’s friends enough to lecture Eren abouthis responsibility towards them, and the battle of Trost really tests hisnihilism: can he actually give up on humanity? Apparently not. Marco’s encouragementcombined with Eren’s instance that the only way out of this hell is to fightpushes a reluctant Jean to first see his natural talents and then use them,although Jean cannot ever quite bring himself to put his full faith in a militaryorganization like both Marco and Eren initially do.

So, to sum up: Idon’t think Jean’s entire characteralters at this moment by the pyre. The groundwork is already there, he just hasto do something with it. However, allreferences to Jean’s extreme defeatism during the training sequence are removedfrom the anime, so I think there’s more pressure put on this scene as“transformative” for Jean—he’s been a selfish asshole, but know that he seeshow bad the titans really are, he must step up to the plate. To be fair, themanga also styles Trost as a “wake up call” for Jean, but there it’s more of a “thisis what I always thought would happen and now I realize I can’t accept it”versus an “actually, the titans are going to get us” moment.

Really, it’s aslight shift in framing but I think it does have quite a large impact on thepresentation of Jean in the anime. Without developing Jean’s cynical lifephilosophies and establishing his rivalry with Eren as actually quite equal (asit is in the manga, which I discuss a bit further here), Marco’s death just hasto do a lot more “work” in explaining why he joins the Survey Corps, so hisfriendship with Marco has to be emphasized in this particular way; Marco’s notthe loss of a good comrade that shocks Jean into realizing he cares, it’s theloss of his best friend which can handle the weight of Jean transformation.

Added dialogduring episode eight. Marco’s inspirational speech to Jean is moved to themiddle of Trost, and Marco emphasizes that Jean’s leadership saved Marco personally during the fight. In addition to putting extra weight on Jean and Marco’s friendship and emphasizing how effective Jean’s leadership is, this shift highlights how much Trost changes Jean. But it also means that Marco doesn’t see Jean’s potential before they run into the thick of it, as in the manga.

So while the lossof Marco is always personal for Jean in both the manga and the anime, I agreewith you there, that personal element to it takes on extra weight in the anime.

As for my secondpoint, I agree with you that Jean is trying to live up to the potential Marcosaw in him, and that this idea would make sense of a version of the dialoguefrom chapter twenty-three where Jean says he doesn’t want to disappoint thecharred bones—which may indeed be an accurate translation, and is supported bythe guidebook! The official English translation is a bit more ambiguous: ituses the word “face.”

Chapter 23.

And you’re rightthat this echoes the English dialogue for Marco in chapter eighteen!

Chapter 18.

So in thisversion of the story, Jean reflects on his experience at the funeral pyre,remembers Marco, and then tries to live up to Marco’s assessment of him—I thinkyou’re reading of that moment is excellent!

However, I waschatting with MirandaFandomette about why Jean would refer to Marco as a pileof charred bones in this moment (because it still puzzled me), and theycross-referenced the official English translation with their French copy. Theofficial French version reads:

C'est juste queje n'ai plus envie de me recueillir impuissant devant un misérable tas decendres inidentifiables qui appartiennent à je sais même pas qui. En tous cas,la situation exige qu'on agisse, c'est évident ! On savait à quoi s'attendrequand on s'est engagés pas vrai ? Alors Hardi les Gars !

“It’s just that Ireally don’t want to grieve helplessly in front of a miserable pile ofunidentifiable ashes who belong to I don’t even know who. In any case, thesituation demands action from us, obviously! We knew what to expect when we gotinvolved, right? So [military slogan I can’t translate into English]!”

This version ofthe text (in addition to being a REALLY interesting thing for Jean to say; somuch to unpack! But I think I’ll leave that to MirandaFandomette) is closer tomy original reading of the infuriatingly ambiguous “face” in Englishthan the idea that he’s trying not to disappoint Marco. Jean doesn’t want tolose anyone else, he doesn’t want to grieve any more soldiers or potentialfriendships. Additionally, there’s not a direct echo of Marco’s words from chapter18 in the French version. In chapter 18, Marco says, “Tu sais toujoursexactement quelle est la réaction adéquate à adopter” which is “You always knowexactly what the right reaction is.” As you can see, it’s quite differentphrasing from what Jean says later—I’m not sure which one is closer to theJapanese original (and, in fact, MirandaFandomette says they think the Frenchversion might be extrapolating a lot from the original text, interesting andcompelling as their decisions are, though perhaps their use of the passivevoice is closer to the Japanese original … if anyone knows Japanese, I’dlove a side-by-side comparison of all three!)

However, the ideaof Jean promising not to disappoint Marco does come up in the Frenchguidebook’s interview with Jean and Marco’s ghost, just as in the Englishversion, even though Jean doesn’t appear to make any such promise in the Frenchtranslation of the manga … and perhaps the guidebook is closer to theoriginal sense of the words in Japanese, in the end. What I like about theFrench translation is that it explains why Jean refers to Marco as charred bonesrather than by name, although the English verb “ to face something” itself canmean “disappoint” or “grieve/deal with” depending on the situation.

Additionally, Itake your point about the timing of the guidebook’s publication vis-à-vis theanime. It would appear that the guidebook does not reflect a retcon based on theanime, although its insistence that Marco and Jean are best friends does seemlike a stretch to me based on what little is present in the manga’s canon.Besides that fact that their relationship is not particularly well-foregroundedin the early chapters of the manga (at least, not as much as in the anime),Jean hardly ever mentions or thinks about Marco after this moment in the femaletitan arc. Certainly he never names him. I confess that I don’t think Isayamawas particularly invested in Marco as a character—which may explain why we alsodon’t get much of a sense in the manga about Marco truly doubting the king.There’s a flash in chapter 18, sure, but it’s small.

Chapter 18. Marco admits he’sstrategizing like he’s actually going to fight the titans, then wonders a bitat himself.

Perhaps therecould have been a more nuanced portrayal of Marco’s development and the effectof his death on Jean, if Isayama had had more time (I would like, for example,to know why Marco is potentially changing his mind in the panel above . ..  especially because chapter 18 is aflashback to before their graduation party, where Marco still declares himselffor the king … sure, Trost might have changed him, but we’ll never know)!Unfortunately, most stuff about Marco appears in extra material, which,although it may be overseen and approved by Isayama, does not make it a part ofthe manga canon, according to a very narrow definition.

Thanks once againfor the note, anon! It’s been interesting to think through this stuff andagain, I really think you should get a tumblr and write meta! I’d love to readmore of your thoughts on Jean and talk further with you. These asks you sent mewould make a very good post! Also, thanks to MirandaFandomette for all their help!