#annnnnd fuck the last two lol

[sreppub]

yj dick, on my mind again (what’s new)

this started out serious and then the rest happened

[fireemblems24]

Dimitri's Supports

I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.

Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.

Raphael

Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.

I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)

Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.

I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.

Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.

Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.

Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.

And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.

Catherine

Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.

OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭

Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.

Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)

Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.

So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.

Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.

Curious how the A+ support will play out.

Mercedes

Team Mom's support!

Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.

Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.

Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭

OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.

Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.

"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????

Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.

Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???

I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.

Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭

Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.

It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.

Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.

Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."

Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.

Annette

Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.

These two always give me sibling vibes.

Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.

Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.

Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.

Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.

HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.

I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.

Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.

Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.

They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.

Ingrid

OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.

Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.

Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.

Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.

Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.

Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."

Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊

Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?

Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?

Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.

She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.

Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .

Flayn

With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.

On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?

Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.

Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.

Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.

Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.

He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.

Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.

Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????

Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.

OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????

OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.

AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.

OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??

Can I headcannon that?

OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.

The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?

Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.

But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.

On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.

"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.

Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.

Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.

Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing

Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.

Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.

This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gilbert

Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.

And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.

Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.

Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.

God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need alcohol.

I need the Alois support.

OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.

Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.

No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.

Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.

At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.

Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, thank God.

"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.

Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.

Damn, these supports.

Alois

OK. I need this one. I really need this one.

I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.

Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol

Ok, bad puns. Bring them.

There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.

OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂

Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.

I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.

OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂

Marianne

These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.

I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.

And Felix x Annette 100%

Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭

"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?

These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.

Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.

Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.

They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.

Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.

Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.

ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!

OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!

"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."

"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."

OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

Felix

Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.

Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.

Dimitri sounds so somber 😭

Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.

Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭

"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.

I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.

Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.

"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.

Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.

"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things

Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭

Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)

Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.

Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.

Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.

Dedue

Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.

Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭

From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?

Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.

He got scars protecting Dedue?

"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭

I always knew these two were co-dependent.

Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY

OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.

And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.

Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.

Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.

I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.

And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭

"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.

Holy shit.

"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊

Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.

Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.

"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .

"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .

OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

And it made him blush.

OMG.

Guys, these two.

Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.

"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.

Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.

Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.

"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.

I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.

Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.

Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.

They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.

And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .

I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.

Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.

And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.

I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Dan and Tyler play NEVER HAVE I EVER!

Date video was published: 08/17/2015 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 278

Another Dan and Tyler collab! Tyler was in the UK back in May as part of a tour he was doing, and I believe this (and the video with Phil, next) were filmed then. Tyler and Dan tweeted about hanging out.

0:01 - Dan is already blushing and the video hasn’t even started. Also Dan again sitting on his “usual” DNP side of the screen. And Tyler is SO red from bending over like that.

0:16 - that was awful 😂

0:25 - love Tyler mocking himself as a YouTuber, lol

0:31 - “I was thinking about what we have in common.” oh my god. Tyler’s expression says it all. 😳 

0:37 - Dan is still regretting his last Tyler collab

0:47 - “or anything these guys had in mind” ...right.

0:58 - something else Dan and Tyler have in common, hatred of their old branding

1:20 - love Tyler’s offended look at the implication that he’s old. Tyler’s only a couple years older than Dan; not even as old as Phil.

1:28 - wtf was that smirk and eyebrow raise by Tyler 😳

1:40 - Tyler’s confusion over “forfeit.” That is not what we call that in the US.

1:43 - Tyler just randomly having that in his bag 😂

1:59 - this whole random interlude

2:12 - I don’t think I want to know. Although it can’t be worse then DNP getting the shock-y things for Interactive Introverts from a fetish shop.

2:19 - “Phil...handy guy” why did Dan Zoom in on his own face in editing when he said that?! Dan had done something similar for Phil for Phil’s video with Connor

2:29 - Tyler’s hands look SO TINY compared to Dan’s

2:35 - jesus christ Dan. Another amazing Tyler expression.

2:45 - Tyler’s like...”of course.” And Dan trying to act all righteous about it when he just had a creepshot war with Casper a few months ago...fantastic.

3:03 - Phil is being a lot more personal with these than Dan was in what he wrote for Phil and Connor. I love it.

3:08 - love Dan’s immediate laughter when he notices Tyler’s finger is down

3:17 - “not you! fuck off.” I’m dying.

3:27 - and Tyler just telling everyone who it was 😂

3:48 - “you were enjoying that wet...” annnnnd jump-cut.

3:59 - Tyler’s like “that’s not weird” No shame for that one. Tyler is down to two fingers here...

4:01 - ...and now Tyler is back up to three fingers so they’re tied. They tweeted about Tyler cheating afterwards when people pointed it out!

4:16 - this is the most Dan ever talks about other YouTubers on his channel

4:31 - Phil handwriting! And Dan acting so appalled by what Phil wrote.

4:49 - “Phil you little shit.” I love Phil attempting to embarrass Dan (and it working!) so much.

4:59 - this JUST happened too

5:06 - Dan seems like he was actually uncomfortable with that 🙁

5:15 - Tyler looks puzzled by Dan’s description of trying to sneak past people. That’s definitely an introvert thing.

5:18 - whoops. Poor Dan. And John, lol. I love that Dan just ran away.

5:41 - “a cheeky squeeze” 😂

5:46 - “not accidentally” This whole video is fantastic.

6:04 - what kind of “research” involves reading fanfiction?!

6:16 - the fact that Tyler admitted to who he had a dream about but won’t admit to this one...

6:38 - I was gonna say...Dan definitely has to put a finger down on that one

7:18 - the agreement that “a shrine” involves candles

7:35 - Dan really doesn’t do a lot of collabs

7:44 - I’m not sure the finger stroking is comforting...

7:50 - off-camera secrets!

8:22 - Phil was VERY purposeful with these

8:55 - awww, poor younger Dan. Wonder if that was the meet up Dan went to by himself when Phil was apartment hunting in Manchester.

9:09 - Tyler’s “that is so precious” is sweet

9:23 - oooo, burn! Tyler is so good natured though.

10:10 - Tyler should have lost if he hadn’t added a finger back in part way through...although Dan should have had another finger down from the creepshot war, so maybe it really was a tie.

10:23 - “level 10″ sounds intense

10:30 - this seems MUCH worse than the little lie detector shocking thing Phil had

10:42 - Dan is VERY red after that. Not sure I want to know what Tyler had that for.

11:11 - that does not seem like it would be good for you... 

11:24 - Dan not knowing how to turn it off 😂

11:33 - thanks for that moral Dan?

11:44 - “is banana our safeword?” and then Dan with the John Green quote. oh my god.

11:59 - Tyler and Dan’s 7 second challenge video is still up!

I love this video so much. It still makes me actually laugh out loud. Dan and Tyler’s collabs are great; they seem to get on so well! Love Tyler commenting on the video too.

Also obsessed with Phil being a little shit with the things he wrote and trying to catch Dan out. And that if Dan counted Phil as a “YouTuber” as referenced in the statements, he would have had to say yes to probably all of them. 😂

[breelandwalker]

WE HAVE THE HALSIN ROMANCE DIALOGUE, THIS IS IS NOT A DRILL. Holy shit, the rizz on this man, I'm FLUSTERED. I'd like to shake the scriptwriter's hand please. Soon as I've got some bone back in my legs....

RIGHT. Vampire Boyfriend. Still Exists. FOCUS.

(astarion sweetie we just had the most adorable moment today, we fully kissed while covered in other people's blood, i am BEGGING you do not screw this up for me)

.....YOU SAW THIS COMING!? Okay, somebody's been throwing Insight checks without me, fair play to you.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "DO YOU ONLY WANT TO DO THIS BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T IN A WHILE"?????

My heart.... 😭

My dear sweet murderous little meowmeow, I promise I'm coming straight back to you in the morning. And you're getting supper TWICE.

Arright, Bear Daddy, I've only been waiting for this since Act 1 and now I'm all butterflies and I can't focus on a GOTDAMN THING, so Long Rest it is.

-We'll Be Right Back-

.........i need a cigarette. 🥵

Annnnnd apparently now my tiefling has two boyfriends. I am ALL kinds of okay with this.

Lol at Halsin being like "yeah maybe don't talk too much about last night just now, I might drag you off into the bushes again." Psh, don't threaten me with a good time! (The fucking forehead kiss, I canNOT. Why is he perfect. 😭💜)

....Oh right, there's a murderous cult and a Netherbrain and a vampire lord and stuff to deal with. So I guess the sandwiches will have to wait. But when we get back....I'm getting out the bingo card.

Tfw you're nearing the end of Act II in your BG3 run and you realize you've fallen into the exact trap you said you were going to avoid FROM THE BEGINNING.

The devs knew exactly what they were doing, didn't they.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[emersonfreepress]

Hey do you think you will ever set up a patreon?

I think... I'll be sticking with Ko-fi. Specifically because they finally have monthly tiered subscriptions! Nothing is launched yet, however, because I'd like to close out some old commissions first and life is rude and disruptive. personal explanation below, for those curious/interested:

i was technically no longer employed at my last job in late July but like... what I wasn't talking about was the fact that I was still going in every week to close out my desk 😅😅 no one made me do it. it's just that the office only has three people in it (two without me), corporate still hadn't hired my replacement, one of my co-workers caught COVID, and the other co-worker is one of my best friends in the world and had to do their job and pick up the slack for both of our absences so—i couldn't leave them hanging with an unfinished, unorganized desk. normally, that should have been stuff i handled during my last weeks there, but there were about ten urgent things going on that made it completely impossible while I was still full-time. (which i have Feelings and Thoughts about, but that's truly getting into too much irrelevant info lol) however, i'm finally nearly finished for real with them. the desk is done, they got a new person; i did a bit of training this week and will finish training them on Monday. (to say this dragged out is an understatement, such is my life 😑)

i'm also planning for a trip to the US this month in anticipation of moving back there temporarily in March(-ish) of next year. the bank i'm with doesn't make transfers to the US, however, so i've also been trying to move money around and tidy up some personal things before i go. not to mention the trip is partly a road trip since i have to scope out new places to live. ugh, just a lot going on non-stop 🙄 been doing a lot of budgeting this week.

annnnnd of course there's the element of people who previously expressed support for my decision back in April/May suddenly having very loud, very insistent opinions about how much of a mistake I have made and am making. this isn't affecting me too much personally, but it is emotionally taxing. without venting a ton, this is pretty par for the course in my personal life. but i'm fucking 30 and i can no longer base my life decisions around what well-meaning (and less so) 50-year-olds believe i should be doing. especially since i don't have any dependents. ppl are scolding and wagging their finger at me in such a way that you'd think i have kids or something? but my personal expenses are genuinely so low outside of healthcare. been dealing with a lot of judgment and heteronormative panic masquerading as concern the last month. again, i'm fine. not overly affected.

but yeah, i'm sure you can imagine this hasn't been the most conducive environment for getting good writing done lately. i try every day though 😫

[ragingbookdragon]

Even In Different Lives, We Always Find Each Other PT. 3

A Connor Kenway x Reader Story

Word Count: 1,830 Warnings: Explicit Language

Author’s Note: BOOM 3 PARTS IN ONE DAY! Annnnnd the next will probably take a week lol. Regardless, enjoy! -Thorne

His head throbbed with sharp pains causing his nose to scrunch up. With it came something tickling his nose and he reached up, rubbing it away. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to work through the pain. When it had subsided, even if just a bit, he opened them, immediately closing them when the sun shone in them. He rolled to his side, cracking one open, muttering, “(Y/N)?” Blinking the haze from his eyes and mind, he sat up and looked around. She wasn’t in sight and he climbed to his feet, yelling her name, “(Y/N)!” The only response he received was the disturb of the birds in the tops of the trees. He began to panic, but her voice echoed in his mind, soft and calming.

           Ratonhnhaké:ton, you need to relax.

           “I cannot relax, you are not here! I do not know where I am! Where you are!”

           And what if we are lost? What can we do but find our way back to each other?

           “I do not even know where to start.”

           Go home. All paths lead from where we start.

           “How can I find home if I do not know where I am?” As quick as her voice came, it faded and Connor sighed, reaching up to rub his eyes. Lowering his hands, he took in his surroundings, catching sight of the river. “All rivers lead to civilization.” He took a step forward but stopped and looked down, suddenly concerned with his gear. To his surprise, nothing seemed out of order, his robes and weapons were all there. He took a deep breath and started towards the river hoping it led to something.

A Few Hours Later:

           By the time Connor managed to make it to any sign of higher intelligence, the sun was well past setting in the sky, barely peeking from the mountain ridges it was lowering behind. He stepped into the town, promptly seeing the number of British soldiers walking around. Confusion bled through him at the sight, but he opted to avoid an open conflict as long as possible, creeping in the shadows until he came to the tavern. Slipping inside, he walked up to the bartender, asking, “Excuse me, where am I?” The man looked him over before scoffing,

           “You fall and hit your head boy?” Though his jaw clenched at the insult, he ignored it, answering with,

           “Actually, yes, I have. That is why I am asking you where I am.” The man seemed to falter a bit, stuttering out,

           “Oh, well, my bad.” Connor waved his hand and the bartender said, “You’re in Salem.” His eyes went wide, and he repeated,

           “I am in Salem?” The man nodded and Connor looked away, muttering, “Then the homestead is northeast of here. ” He turned back to the bartender inquiring, “Why are there British soldiers here? I thought they went back to England?” The man pointed to the door.

           “Now you’re fucking with me. Get out of my bar before I have you chased out.” Connor frowned at the response but shook his head and turned, walking to the doors. He stepped outside, heading northeast, a collection of thoughts running though his mind.

The Next Morning:

           He didn’t know what to expect when he stepped into the homestead. Emptiness? Everyone the same? Something churned deep inside him and he had a terrible feeling that what had occurred the year before with Washington is what had happened to him and (Y/N). His heart yearned for her, to know if she was safe, but he knew that if she was here, she’d tell him to stay focused. So, that’s what he did, walking inside the gates. The laughter of children caught his attention and he watched a few of them running around, playing games. He smiled and looked around at the residents still there. Connor inhaled deeply, walking farther when the sight of a particular man stopped him dead in his tracks. He swallowed thickly, throat closing up as he called, “Father?” The man turned to him, a relieved look crossing his face as he ran over, enveloping him in a hug.

           “For god’s sakes Ratonhnhaké:ton! The next time you leave, you need to warn us!” Connor pulled away and looked at Haytham, but could only manage,

           “What did you just call me?” His father offered him a confused look, repeating,

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton? Your name?” He shook his head.

           “You have always called me Connor.”

           “I don’t ever recall using such a name.” Connor shook his head, staring at his father. Haytham frowned, asking, “Are you alright son? You look upset.” His son raised a hand, rubbing his forehead, replying,

           “Everything has changed again.” Understanding that his worst fear had come true once more, he lowered his hand questioning, “Is…is mother here?” Haytham nodded.

           “Yes, she’s at the manor meeting with Achilles.” Connor’s eyes went wide.

           “The old man is still here?”

           “Yes?” Haytham said in confusion, “Achilles has been leading the brotherhood for long time now. Though it’ll soon be time for a new mentor to take leadership.” He waved a hand and his son followed him as they walked towards the manor. Among the list of growing problems, Connor couldn’t help but ask,

           “Are you sure it is safe for you to be here father?” Haytham tossed a look over his shoulder, one swimming with perplexity.

           “As safe as it is for you. Why?” Before his son had a chance to respond, a woman stepped out the door and his eyes went wide.

           “Mother!” Connor took off up the path, only slowing when he came to stand before her. She arched an eyebrow, mocking,

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton! Why are we yelling!” He huffed a laugh, and though he knew it wasn’t entirely real, he couldn’t help but pull her into a hug, burying his face in her neck. Ziio reached up and patted his back, tossing a glance at Haytham who shrugged. When they pulled away, she cupped his cheeks, wondering, “You disappeared last night with no explanation. Where were you?” Connor fumbled for words and Haytham walked up, placing his hand on his shoulder.

           “Love, he was probably out hunting and fell asleep. There’s no need to worry so much.” Evidently, the response didn’t appease her because she retorted,

           “He has a wife at home. He should not be doing,” She gestured to Connor, trying to find the words, then settled for, “whatever it was that he was doing.” Haytham chuckled but Connor’s heart hammered in his chest at the mention of her and he said,

           “Where is she? Where is my wife? Is she here?” His mother stared at him with concern.

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton, she is back in the village.” His brows furrowed at her answer.

           “What do you mean? Why is she there?” Ziio’s response was cut off by a man creaking the door open and informing,

           “Master Haytham, you and Ratonhnhaké:ton are needed.” Haytham squeezed Connor’s shoulder before disappearing into the house, his son following. They stepped into the study, and Connor was greeted by an older, but not crippled Achilles, and a few others he didn’t recognize. He grabbed Haytham’s wrist, hissing,

           “Father, it is unsafe for you to be in the presence of assassins. You need to leave.” Haytham turned to respond when Achilles stepped forward, holding out his arm to his father, who took it.

           “Haytham, it is good to see you again. The brotherhood is lesser when you are not around to help guide it.” Connor watched with amazement as Achilles greeted Haytham with a warm welcome. To even more surprise was his father’s reaction, a rare smile.

           “I apologize for being away so long Achilles. My business in London took longer than I thought it would.” Before Achilles could respond, Connor, with bewilderment written across his face, sputtered,

           “You-you are an assassin?” The two men pulled away and Haytham turned to his son.

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton, you’ve been acting strange since coming home. What happened last night?” Connor couldn’t even form the right answer.

           “But…but the templars?” His father nodded.

           “Yes? What about them?”

           “Are you not their grandmaster? Their leader?” The other assassins laughed, but a pinched look crossed Haytham’s face as he retorted,

           “Look, I know I might act like an overbearing-order-oriented-bastard, but I assure you I am not a templar.” He shook his head. “You know I’m an assassin Ratonhnhaké:ton. I was raised by my father in the English Brotherhood before coming to the colonies.” Connor’s mouth opened and shut, and a man stepped inside, a solemn look on his face. Immediately the room turned grim and he walked over to Achilles, reporting,

           “Sir, she’s been pardoned.” His mentor’s eyes went wide, voice full of disbelief.

           “What?” The assassin nodded.

           “Her father had Pitcairn sign a letter of pardon when he discovered who assassinated Arnold.” Connor, who’d been listening in, questioned,

           “Pitcairn? John Pitcairn? He is alive?” The two assassins eyed Connor before turning back to one another.

           “And where is she now?” The man sighed, before handing him a scroll; Achilles read it over before hissing, “Damn. She’s back with Shay.” The name struck something in Connor, who’d grown tired of being ignored and cut off, and he stepped forward, voice raised as he commanded,

           “I know that name. Shay Cormac. He is an assassin turned templar. But who is this woman you are speaking of?” Haytham rested a hand on his arm.

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton, calm down.” Achilles looked Connor over, before telling him,

           “(Y/N) Cormac. She was pardoned from her crimes and escaped hanging. We’re trying to hunt her down.” With his heart skipping a beat, Connor lurched forward, curling his hands in Achilles’ robes.

           “What do you mean she escaped hanging?! Why was she to hang in the first place?! What has happened?!” The other assassins in the room started to yell, trying to split the two apart.

           “You’d best let go child.” Connor’s eyes narrowed and he growled,

           “I am not afraid of you, old man. Now tell me why (Y/N) is being hunted. Why are you hunting one of your own?” Haytham came into view and placed a hand on his forearm.

           “Let him go.”

           “No. Not without answers.”

           “She is being hunted down because she is a templar, you know this.” Connor let go of Achilles as if he’d been struck by lightning, turning to face his father.

           “(Y/N) is not a templar, she is an assassin. Her father was one, but that does not mean she is one by default.” He glowered at Haytham. “She is a proud member of the Colonial Brotherhood.” Achilles scoffed, glancing at Haytham.

           “Your boy must be disillusioned Haytham.” His father sighed, turning Conner back to face him.

           “Ratonhnhaké:ton, (Y/N) Cormac is a templar. She has been since her father raised her as one.” As if the very words stung him, Connor muttered,

           “What are you talking about?”

           “Shay Cormac is the grandmaster of the Colonial Templars, and (Y/N) is his top assassin hunter.”

[riovidalll]

how did you meet your gf?

HERE WE GO its about that time again where i share with all the new followers how my gf and i met: 

we were tumblr mutuals and then she posted something one day that made it sound like we went to the same university so I messaged her and just asked and turns out we did so we started meeting at a coffee shop on campus every week to drag the fuck out of The 100 and help trend shit bc it was right after when Lexa died and I was super involved in the LGBT viewers deserve better thing and we became good friends annnnnd then one night a couple months later I got really drunk at a party and drank a fifth of bourbon by myself and asked if she was a top or bottom and the next thing you know things got ~flirty~ and we met up the next night basically to make out lolol and we wanted to keep it a friends w benefits sort of thing but then we fucked up and fell in love and we’ve been together for a little over three years now. we’ve lived together for the last two of those and are now having to do long distance for the time being bc shes AMAZING and is off chasing her dream of being a kick-ass figure skating coach and i am so proud of her and i have a job i love kinda far away but we making it work 

also there was a period where we had like an actual fanbase and it was kinda cool but then it got weird and i got really private about my stuff bc the clexa fandom was wild and i was getting weird threats all the time lol and our ship name is caliza because it was a running joke in the fandom that i was eliza taylor’s secret blog and her name is caroline

[rough-and-whump]

Rough is a Whumpee

So, yeah, this might end up being a series, ha ha! I tend to hurt myself a lot and this might be a fun thing for me.

Please keep in mind: I might “whumpify” some of my experiences to make it more interesting in a whump context.

I’m not sure if this might be a trigger for anyone, but obvs don’t read this too much if you don’t like the idea of “whump” type things happening to real people. 

Again, I do this for fun, and I’m as clumsy as a three-legged camel walking blindfolded and backwards on a snow-capped mountain.

Some context:

I do karate. Been practicing for about 9 years. I started as an adult and am one of the longer standing members of my club right now. Most of my peers in the front line have been practicing for 20+ years.

I have chosen to do this to myself, because it’s part of what I view as “my journey” as a martial artist. Plus also, I mean, my injuries in karate have never been that serious - I’m partially lucky, but mostly smart about how I fight and who I fight, lol!

I totally have a lot of times when I get hurt. Most times, it’s not bad - it’s just low-level stuff that bothers me during the day. But when I describe it, it definitely does sound bad - I find it’s okay, like, I can still function; but lots of folks I talk to about my injuries look at me like I’m stupid. But, frankly, I can’t afford to just stay home whenever I feel a bit uncomfortable. XD

The incident:

Canada Day Parade with my karate club. It’s been rainy and wet. We know that this makes boards harder to break, but we (me and my student) still wanted to do it. 

Boards seem fine, our test breaks two days before the Parade went well.

Parade time. First three breaks for me go fine. But there’s definitely more hurt in these boards than the ones we broke last year. Still decide to go ahead.

Break four, last of the parade. In front of a group of small kids, namely girls. It’s my student and my fave corner for breaks since the crowd is usually really amped up. 

It’s been raining now for the last twenty minutes - our boards are soaked. We know this, but we still go for it because we’re idiots.

I set up for an elbow break. I’ve done two of these and a front punch break all fine up to now. So I figure, okay, I can do this. Just all the power.

Fire it up, annnnnd... first one - bounce. Don’t swear, try again. Full power. Bounce.

I switch to a hammer fist break and get through it, but ooowwwwwww.

The consequence:

I have some righteous bruising on my elbow and hand from my two good elbow breaks, the front punch and the hammer fist. I don’t bruise easily and I have an olive/tan skin tone, so bruises don’t generally show through. But these are a niiiiice deep purple, ha ha!

Aaaaaand I have a separated AC joint in my right shoulder.

The whump, mental side:

The doubt of whether or not the injury is actually as bad as it is.

Don’t want to seem “weak”, so I often brush off pain that requires frequent and often medication.

Also don’t want to make a big deal if this really isn’t so bad. It isn’t a full on dislocation, it’s fixable, so it can’t be that bad.

Buuuut, legit it hurts. I refuse to take a bunch of painkillers because I don't like how they make me feel. I'm trying to make do using weed and rest.

Part of why I'm purposefully avoiding strong pain killers is also because when I've done that in the past, I've also ended up trying to "push through" my injury and it makes my recovery longer.

Extending on the point above: I’m purposefully choosing to feel more pain so that I know when to kinda pull back from what I’m doing. This said, I still feel it. So I’m spending the day with increased tension in my neck (manifesting headaches to boot) and a bit of mind fog from just having to devote some of my mind to ignoring the pain.

Details on the painkiller thing: I’m choosing not to use Robax, Motrin, or Tylenol much because I legit had a problem with them a few years back. I never developed any actual bad liver or kidney problems, but I was taking about a bottle of Robax Platinum every week for three weeks at one point. That’s a lot of Robax. And that was a recent blip. Before I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety and Clinical Depression, I turned to Robax and alcohol to manage my symptoms of panic and feelings of worthlessness. It really did a number on me. There were a lot of factors pushing me into that corner. Honestly, I wish I had access to weed at that time, because it would have helped me so much to have alternative, healthier, and less harmful pain relief and anxiety help. 

When I first stopped taking Robax and chose to just deal with the pain as best I could, it took me about a month to realize that I was feeling better and better and better. I didn’t know why - I thought hey maybe it was just weather or something. But after some more reflection and a bit of experimentation, I found that it was actually the chemical painkillers that made me feel that way.

Legit I was addicted to painkillers. I went from liking the relief I got from two Robax at a time to needing to take four at a time to get a sort of “high” feeling - I could put on “robax glasses” that made it easier to deal with my abusive boss, the blatant illegal activity happening at work, and the toxic work environment and shit pay.

The whump, physical stuff (aka the good stuff):

I can’t lift my right arm over my head, combined with being a creature of habit and right handed, it’s lead to a lot of “fuck, ow!” moments when reaching up for some stationary at the office or when reaching for something in the cabinets in the kitchen.

Sharp pains occasionally - not often - kind of radiates up and down in severity. I can’t find a trigger for it yet, if there is one. It could just be pain ‘cause it’s a busted shoulder. 

Pains tend to be:

“heat” at the shoulder itself

“radiating” lines of tension and sharp pulling pains up across the collarbone towards the base of the neck, up the side of the neck, into the right side of my head (somehow?! when I went to get accupuncture, that point was suuuuper effective/painful), and down towards the meeting point of all the lat muscles in the mid back.

The neck pain is the worst, it sends shooting pains up the right side of my head, and definitely puts me “on edge”.

Typing is a fresh horror. I work an office job in tech and do a lot of typing in my day, so I had to figure out with our office wellness dude (who is such a darling and so sweet, and legit he and I schedule “meetings” that end up just us chatting about our weekend adventures) how to set up my station so I keep my arm internally rotated.

Side note: legit, this separated shoulder thing is a much bigger deal than I think I want it to be. I’m scared of it, really. I don’t want to lose the full function of my right arm - I need to fight with it, plus I need to still be able to “Simba raise” my cat into the air on sunny mornings.

He was telling me I should look into getting a sling so it’s supported while I’m just sitting/not using it. I’m ok without one at work cause I can set up my station so my elbow is supported and I can keep my arm internally rotated. But like, this guy doesn’t make a big deal out of nothing - if he’s advising me to get a sling, I really should consider it... he’s a trained kinesiologist and former physiotherapist, like, he knows what he’s talking about. XD

Headache onset by 11:25 AM. Shit, I wish I took my CBD oil to work. 

It’s definitely a constant presence in my mind - it makes working harder to a degree because a part of my mind is just always firing. But at the same time, work is also better because I have a reason to kind of fully invest myself mentally into work - the pain also sort of drives it. But it’s exhausting and unsustainable. 

Fictional Whump Thoughts From This:

Again, this is me dramatizing my thoughts. I don’t actually think exactly like this - there are parts that are true, but most of it is just me using my experience as a whump jumping point.

“Ah! Fuck... Dammit.” (in response to trying to do a movement drill on Saturday but realizing even just pulling back my left arm with power makes my right shoulder hurt)

“No no, I’m good, it’s okay. It’s just that it hurts a bit and I can’t lift heavy things, but I can still do a lot - it’s okay.”

“Hey, uh, could, um, could I get help out to the car with this?” (sheepishly asked at the grocery store for four measly bags - I ended up just carrying the light stuff on the right side and taking forever because it took too long and I was too embarrassed to wait for help. I’m otherwise able, so I shouldn’t use resources, right?)

“Oh, no, it’s fine - it’s a small price to pay, really. I felt super badass.” (Truth, but some people don’t get it)

[This is less fictional more real, but let’s say it’s dramatized a bit]: I’m really glad this happened to me and not one of my students. I’ve trained for this. And I signed up to do the board breaking knowing it would be harder, more risky and I would certainly be injured. If nothing else, I anticipated bloodied knuckles (I still have the scars from last year’s parade). This would have seriously injured a younger, less experienced student of mine - and would have had lasting mental consequences. Especially done in a public setting like a parade. A lot of people think the boards we break are fake or styrofoam. McDojos might do that, but my club has a history of hard, traditional-style training. Our boards are half inch pine. They’re easier to break, but they still hurt.

“fuck, this is hard without painkillers... this without painkillers or weed?... ugh, my day is gonna be way harder than it should be.”

[In response to my boyfriend’s question of ‘what can I do to make it better?’]: “Naw, I’m good, it’s just me complaining. Don’t mind me, it’s fine. Just complaining about it makes it easier to deal with the pain.”

There’s a definite sense of irritation that I can’t do my usual activities to reduce tension in my neck. I can’t shake my head quickly, my neck mobility is limited, I’m getting tension pains in my left trap now, great.

When I’m in consistent, low-level pain, I often forget to breathe. When deep breathing pulls on the muscles in the shoulder due to how all the torso muscles connect, it makes it even worse.

Okay, legit tho, I’m starting to feel bummed out. So I’mma go throw myself into work.

Again, this is something I did to myself. A lot of my online friends don’t get why I’m so dedicated to this. But I’ve noticed martial artists all react to my injuries with the same reaction I have - sympathetic, but ultimately we’re a bunch of testosterone-ridden fools who like to brag about battle scars. And then ask for heat packs or back rubs ‘cause we’re bunches of teddy bears when we’re not fighting each other.

Anyways, legit this could probably turn into a series for me. I tend to be the whumpee or the caretaker in a lot of scenarios. 

Is this something y’all are good with? Would you prefer this be formatted differently? Anything else you want to know? Otherwise I’mma keep doin’ it just like this.

[asurayuuhaven]

Chapter 73 - Reaction & Analysis

(Spoiler for Seraph of the End / Owari no Seraph, chapter 73, that isn’t translated to English yet. Do not click the “read more” below if you want to avoid spoiler)

We haven’t had any great chapter for many months, and it’s finally here. Frankly this chapter is one of the best OnS chapter for the whole year. And that’s not an understatement. The action sequence is glorious. It’s like what you’ll see in the end of the season in the anime.

So you all fellas better go grab the seat belt...

Because this going to be one hell of a ride

You know a chapter going to be hype when Asuramaru is on the cover, and he didn’t looks very happy there

Another Asuramaru focused chapter? Sign me tf up

We start with Yuu being a happy little dork as always and-

DID MIKA BLUSHED

THAT’S ADORABLE

I maybe get annoyed by Mika sometimes (actually, a lot) but I love it when Mika shows his positive, humanly side like this

That being said, I still hate his obsession over Yuu

Yuu, Mika, Guren, Shinya and Kureto talk about something idk not like I could have understand the discussion, so let’s skip that lmao

Apparently, Yuu is strong enough to control his “seraph mode” at will, and the wings alone could tear apart the bound that restrict him

(Though considering that Seraph!Yuu can pretty much destroy the whole city easily, that’s not a big surprise)

FIVE MINUTES AND CHILLING

THEN WE’RE ALREADY ON THE HYPE TRAIN

LOOK AT THAT

SHIKAMA DOJI IS FREAKING BEHIND YUU

I got a bad feeling about this

I got a bad feeling about this

FUCKING HELL REEEEEE

These, guys, these....

These.... are what I called as.... “the hype page”

It’s when Kagami gives a freaking goosebump over what’s gonna be happen on this freaking chapter

....And ironically, it’s VERY similar to the scene where Asuramaru confront Yuu at the manga chapter where he fought against Mirai

(This one, here, below)

Coincidence?

I really don’t think so

I can’t believe this

We’re living in a timeline where Shikama Doji, who’s pretty much the most powerful character on the series so far, and the “big bad villain” who control everything, who’s behind the whole fucking plot of the whole story, as the grand mastermind and the very first progenitor of all vampire....

....is confronting Ashera....

Who is, what we can consider, his favorite child

....Words cannot describe how hyped I am....

AND LOOK AT ASURAMARU THERE

MY BOY, THAT’S A BATTLE STANCE

HE’S GONNA WRECK HIS ASS

*announcer voice*

DEATH BATTLE! ONE MINUTE MELEE!

ASURAMARU VERSUS SHIKAMA DOJI!

Also anyone realized how he pull the sword outta his own body?

Well, apparently, that’s one of many thing that he could do

We finally see Asuramaru showing his true combat capability

Can we appreciate how badass he is there?

Hand down the most badass demon

Whoa whoa wait a minute

Shikama Doji throw his scythe, Asuramaru dodged...

AND HE CAN MAKE ANOTHER SCYTHE?

TWO OF THEM?

INSTANTLY!?

This guy is OP as heck, nerf pls

Oh my god

Let’s get a better look at that

THICC SHOTA TRAP DEMON THIGH

(lol jk that’s not what I wanna discuss here)

Apparently, Asuramaru is fast enough to react against TWO attacks at once, from two different direction

....Even Krul Tepes couldn’t do that, as shown that when Ferid and Crowley attack her at the same time, she’s distracted

Not to mention how Asuramaru attacked FOUR times in a second, against freaking death scythe of doom flying at ballistic speed

My boy is strong af

OHHHH MY GOOOOD

HE HIT HIM!

Also that special ability whoa

I can’t wait until Yuu can master that ability

So apparently, Asuramaru got more than one “special move” other than Asura Kannon to use.

Remember, Shinoa and Mitsuba said that “possession type” demon cannot use “special ability” and thus, the fact that Asuramaru (and Kiseki-o) can use special abilities, are exceptionally rare, nearly impossible.

Now we got to see that Asuramaru can do ANOTHER ability

AND WHAT CANONICALLY HURT SHIKAMA DOJI

...This is Shikama Doji that we talked about....

If you didn’t remember, Shikama Doji is someone who’s freaking goddamn powerful, not even Kureto with help of Raimeki AND Mirai’s Abaddon could even land a single scratch

And Asuramaru manage to hurt him 

Reminder that Asuramaru is strong as hell

Oh no

Shi, please be nice

F U C K

Goddammit nooooo

My precious shota trap demon.. ;A;

Apparently, being bitten by Shikama Doi makes Asuramaru remember his past, which makes sense because he used to be his master

(Either that, or it’s just an illustration)

But what is that.... box.... thing?

Is that some kind of prison?

Apparently, Shikama Doji try to cut off his communication with Yuu, because we immediately switch to the scene where Yuu appeared

Annnnnd there you go

Some more Yuunoa moment for those who shipped them

So uhh... I couldn’t understand the dialogue (of course) but it seems that Yuu is in dire condition since he shouted at Shinoa before, probably asking about what the heck is happening

And Yuu seemingly tried to try to contact Asuramaru, but he couldn’t, which makes him went panic as he realized that something terribly wrong is happening right now

HOLY FUCK

GET THE FREAKING HYPE CANNON READY GUYS

YUU IS CONFRONTING SHIKAMA DOJI!!! o_O

AGHHHHHH

GODDAMMIT

Asuramaru is suffering and Shikama Doji give us the “come get me” face

Oh my god

My heart cannot take this

Look at them

I just.... cannot....

;w;

But ironically, VERY IRONICALLY, this is 90% similar to my headcanon on where Shikama Doji will visit Yuu and Asuramaru at certain chapter in the future. And at that time, Shikama Doji will awaken the forgotten memory of Ashera. Then, Yuu will try to save Ashera... in a pretty much NEARLY IDENTICAL visualization that depicted here on the canon

So apparently, Kagami and I think similarly

THEY’RE BAAAAACK TOGETHER

Oh god this makes me so happy

I mean, Asuramaru and Yuu working together to fight against Shikama Doji is pretty much the BIGGEST EVER PLOT DEVELOPTMENT IN THE WHOLE FUCKING STORY SO FAR

Like, hell.... this is a big jump on the plot

It’s like they’re gonna face the final boss

(Also wait.....)

We got a canon height comparison of Yuu and Asuramaru, at last!

My precious smol demon is so smol hahaha

But in all seriousness, let me appreciate this panel. Look at how they stand together, side by side,

Yuu, with Asuramaru... someone who used to be just a normal rookie in the army with his sword, is going far enough to get here.

The two are indeed friend, perhaps almost like a family, but I never imagine for them to stand by side like a comrade in battle, fighting against the big bad villain together like this

Honestly.... it’s an amazing development

God bless this chapter

According to a rough translation that I seen somewhere before, Shikama Doji said that seeing Yuu and Ashera being together makes him felt nostalgic.

Will we able to finally see the truth behind Yuu and Asuramaru? Will the next chapter going to be the chapter that finally reveal their backstory when they’re still together thousands years ago?

BOOOOY THE HYPEEEE

So yeah, this chapter is amazing and it’s been a long year since we can finally some freaking big plot development (not just character development) with the great plus side of a really epic badass battle scene

Great chapter  10/10

[pendulumprince]

IT’S EPISODE 42. LET US PRAY.

After the recap and that naughty, naughty opening!

We’re… back in Den City?

We’re at Rev—NO, I’M SORRY, RYOKEN’S place

He’s looking out the window at Stardust Road

“Father, I will fulfill your wishes.”

Omg. His eyes are beautiful.

Annnnnd we still don’t have a full shot of his fucking face.

BACK TO LINK VRAINS!

REV GOES IN FOR THE FIRECT ATTACKK

FROG AND PIGEON ARE SHITTING THEIR BREECHES

AI IS HYPERVENTALATING

ME TOO ME TOO

BUT NAH, PLAYMAKER’S GOT THAT QUICKSPELL

IT NEGATES THE ATTACK!

AND PLAYMAKER SUMMONS 3 0 DEF MONSTERS

BUT REV ISN’T DONE!

PLAYMAKER STILL TAKES 500 LP DAMAGE VIA EFFECT

HE’S DOWN TO 400 LP!

REV ENDS HIS TURN

PLAYMAKER DRAWS

LINK SUMMONS

BRINGS OUT A LINK 1 500 ATK MONSTER

AND HE SUMMONS ANOTHER

LINK SUMMONS AGAIN

AI IS SO PROUD??

PLAYMAKER HOLDS UP TWO FINGERS AND AI DOES THE SAME THING AHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE

HE SUMMONS BABY FIREWALL AT 1100 ATK

WHAT AN ADORABLE CHERUB

IT GOES DOWN TO 600 VIA EFFECT? LOL K

AND! HE SENDS REV’S MONSTER BACK TO HIS HAND BIA EFFECT

BUT REV ISN’T FAZED

“You believe that’ll allow you to make a comeback. But too bad.”

PLAYMAKER. IS. SHOCKED.

I DON’T THINK WE’VE EVER SEEN HIM LOOK THIS GENUINELY SURPRISED

REV TRIBUTES HIS OTHER MONSTER TO KEEP SECURITY DRAGON ON THE FIELD

AI IS SO DISAPPOINTED

“You only have 400 LP… 400?!”

THAT’S RIGHT BBY

PLAYMAKER’S GONNA USE THAT STORM ACCESS

“You’re going to use your skill in there?! You’re really going there, Playmaker?”

I mean, he’s made it this far

Might as well go all the way

“Don’t you feel it? There’s a high-density Data Storm over there. If I go…”

“I’M SAYING IT’S CRAZY! If you go there, it’s not just me! You’ll be harmed too!”

Okay Playmaker’s literally losing chunks of his “data body” whenever a piece of debris hits him

Holy shit

“There’s no other way to defeat Revolver/

EVEN REV THINKS THIS IS A WILD MOVE

“You’re going to destroy yourself, Playmaker?”

HE’S DOING IT

HE STICKS HIS HAND INTO THE STORM

AND!

HE LOSES HIS FUCKING ARM

FALLS OFF HIS D-BOARD

“Am I done for…?”

“PLAYMAKER!”

UM.

AI GRABS PLAYMAKER’S HAND!

AI… IS ON THE D-BOARD.

AS IN, OUT OF PLAYMAKER’S DUEL DISK

AND HE’S… BIGGER?

HOLY SHIT AI

YOU’RE JUST FULL OF SURPRISES

FUCK

AND HE FIXES PLAYMAKER’S ARM!

LISTEN BITCH, YOU CAN’T SAY THIS PURPLE ABOMINATION ISN’T YOUR FRIEND

FUCK

“I saved my secret move until the end ;) Right arm regenerated! Get on the board, Playmaker!”

He pulls Playmaker back up

Goes back into the duel disk!

PLAYMAKER’S GETTING SHOOK LEFT AND RIGHT THIS EPISODE

“You’re able to do that…?”

“If my partner’s going overboard, so will I!”

*cries* this episode is doing my aiballshippers heart a world of good.

Ai goes on, “I’ll steer the D-Board!”

HE TRANSFORMS INTO HIS TENTACLE SELF

CHANGES IT TO HIGH SPEED MODE??

“I’ll shield you, but only for 30 seconds. So do it by then!”

Oh. Oh. Ai is such a good partner EVERYBODY GET OUT

“But if you do this, you’ll be…”

“Be quiet! This is how I atone!”

Bby you barely did anything wrong, relax

But okay, Playmaker can go into the Data Storm now without literally losing a limb

PLAYMAKER USES STORM ACCESS

AND AI?? HELPS HIM GRAB THE CARD???

HE’S GOT IT

“Bye, Playmaker…”

AI DISINTEGRATES? UM

HE DOESN’T RESPOND WHEN PLAYMAKER CALLS OUT TO HIM

OMG IS THIS GOING TO BE A THING

IS AI ALWAYS INCAPACITATED DURING THESE PLAYMAKER-REV DUELS

BUT PLAYMAKER REDIRECTS HIS FOCUS TO THE DUEL

“Here I go, Revolver!”

REV IS SHOOKETH

“You did Storm Access…?”

PLAYMAKER LINK SUMMONS

AND! HERE HE IS!

TRANSCODE TALKER, AT 2300 ATK

“That’s the new power you acquired?”

PLAYMAKER ACTIVATES TRANSCODE’S EFFECT

HE CAN SPECIAL SUMMON ANOTHER -CODE TALKER FROM THE GRAVE!

DECODE’S BACK, BITCHES

AND DECODE GOES UP TO 2800 ATK

HE ACTIVATES TRANSCODE’S EFFECT

WHICH UPS DECODE UP TO 3300 AND TRANSCODE TO 2800

GOOD, HE’S GOT ALL THESE BROLIC BITCHES ON THE FIELD NOW

PLAYMAKER ACTIVATES A FIELD SPELL!

AND! 500 MORE ATK POINTS FOR MY BABIES

TRANSCODE’S AT 3300 AND DECODE’S AT 3800

REV. DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY.

PLAYMAKER HAS DECODE TALKER ATTACK REV’S DRAGON

REV GOES DOWN TO 2500 LP

AND! HIS FIELD IS WIDE OPEN!

PLAYMAKER GOES IN FOR THE DIRECT ATTACK!

TRANSCODE ATTACKS!

AND!!!

… and Rev special summons a monster from his hand via effect

It’s a 0 ATKer, but

That damage he would take is halved

Rev is down to 850 LP!

“You stopped me.”

“Don’t underestimate me, Playmaker.”

WELL ALRIGHT THEN

PLAYMAKER ENDS HIS TURN!

REV TAKES HIS

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY

AI IS BACK

And our smol boy is tired

“Ah ha, I thought I was going to die.”

PLAYMAKER LOOKS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM?? Or at least as happy as he’s ever able to look lol

“Have you shrunk?”

“Because I repaired my program quickly. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, he’s tough. But against two -code talkers, it’s only a matter of time!”

“Ignis, you forgot that I have the same skill.”

OKAY. SURE. BUT DO YOU HAVE AN IGNIS WILLING TO DIE FOR YOU?

BECAUSE PLAYMAKER ALMOST GOT RIPPED TO SHREDS BACK THERE

Rev has an internal thought

“With my father’s data material program… I should be able to control that Data Storm, no matter how strong the winds are.”

Oh, right. He’s got his pops.

“Revolver!” Omg Playmaker almost sounds worried.

HE TRIES TO REACH INTO THE STORM, BUT

HE’S SHOCKED BACK?

“The Data Storm’s density is too high. But if Playmaker can do it, so can I!”

OMG, REV DOESN’T KNOW AI WAS HELPING HIM

REV, NO

YOU’RE GONNA DIE

HE STICKS HIS HAND IN

FUCKIN LOSES HIS ARM, JUST LIKE PLAYMAKER DID

FALLS OFF HIS BOARD INTO THE DEBRIS RIDDLED ABYSS

Playmaker calls out to Rev again

“He can’t do it! Because he doesn’t have me!”

Ah, Ai’s back to his old antics lmao

But

BUT

REV GOT BACK ON HIS BOARD??

“I can’t afford to lose!”

HE… HEADS BACK INTO THE DATA STORM??

BUT

I

… the entire data storm freezes

Rev’s confused as shit

“What? What’s going on?”

Playmaker and Ai are also bamboozled

The storm is totally frozen from the outside, too

Frog and Pigeon keep filming

Back in Den City, Shoichi assumes it has to be a bug

Back in the Data Storm…

“Revolver…”

“That voice!”

No shit, it’s Kogami.

And of course he presents himself shrouded in golden light

And

OMG

PLAYMAKER ALSO SEES HIM

“That’s…!”

FUCKIN SHOICHI SEES HIM TOO

“Dr. Kogami? He’s alive?!”

Rev asks Kogami why he’s there

“Ryoken… I never did a single fatherly thing for you.”

Well, at least he admits he’s a shithead.

Kogami continues. “I only made you suffer. But you didn’t complain even once. You were a great son. Believe me, I never wanted to involve you in this. But without you, the world couldn’t be saved from destruction.”

“I know.”

Playmaker’s still watching

“What are they talking about?”

Ai wants to know what’s going on

Omg can they… not hear this convo?

Kogami continues. “You can’t lose here. I’ll give you my final strength.”

“Final strength? But if you do that…”

“I don’t care. Protect humanity’s future in my place. You’re my final and only hope.”

Kogami disintegrates, prepares Rev’s arm

AND IN FRONT OF REV

“This radiance…!”

IT’S STARDUST ROAD

FLASHBACK TO BABY!RYOKEN AND KOGAMI LOOKING AT STARDUST ROAD TOGETHER

“Father…”

BACK IN THE PRESENT, THE DATA STORM STARTS AGAIN

REV FOLLOWS STARDUST ROAD

HE’S LIVIN THAT STORM ACCESS LIFE

GRABS A CARD

TAKES A QUICK SEC TO CHECK HIS FATHER’S HEALTH STATS

SHIT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD

“The Stardust Road lead me to it.”

“Stardust Road…?”

Ah, that’s it. That’s the clue Rev drops.

REV ACTIVATES A SPELL CARD

HE SPECIAL SUMMONS A LINK MONSTER FROM THE GRAVE

BRINGS BACK FLAHS CHARGE AT 2300 ATK

REV MAKES PLAYMAKER DRAW A CARD

HE LINK SUMMONS!

IT’S LINK 4 TOPOLOGIC GAMBLE DRAGON AT 3000 ATK

REV’S STILL WATCHING HIS FATHER’S STATS

THE OLD BITCH IS GOING DOWN, AND FAST

VIA EFFECT, BOTH REV AND PLAYMAKER ADD CARDS FROM THEIR GRAVES TO THEIR HANDS

AND

KOGAMI’S HEART RATE JUST FELL TO 0

THE BITCH IS DEAD! THE BITCH IS DEAD! HI HO, THE RATCHET BITCH IS DEAD!! :DDD

… naturally, Rev doesn’t share my happiness on the matter.

“Sorry, but I can’t continue this duel!”

Um, what

REV SPECIAL SUMMONS A 2200 DEF MONSTER

ACTIVATES GAMBLE’S EFFECT

BOTH HIS AND PLAYMAKER’S HANDS ARE DESTROYED

AND BY HIS OTHER MONSTER’S EFFECT

FOR EVERY CARD DESTROYED, THEY EACH TAKE 300 LP IN DAMAGE

THREE TOTAL CARDS MEANS THEY EACH TAKE 900 IN DAMAGE

BOTH PLAYMAKER AND REV DROP DOWN TO 0!

IT’S A TIE!

BACK IN DEN CITY, SHOICHI IS #NOTOKAY

“The Tower of Hanoi will absorb Yusaku!”

PLAYMAKER FALLS INTO THE ABYSS

SO DOES REV

HIS LAST THOUGHTS ARE OF HIS POPS??

OMG HOW AM I GONNA COLLECT ALL THESE FEELINGS

Preview time!

Yusakus back in Den City!

And our boy is a wreck

“The mansion on the cliff from where you can see glowing plankton in the ocean. That’s where his enemy is! The link between The Lost Incident and the ignis are revealed. Now that Yusaku knows the truth, what will he do?”

Okay so we got a shot of baby!Yusaku in that torture room

And another shot of Kogami with Kyoto, irl!Faust, and irl!Genome standing behind him

That’s a… mighty wicked smile you got there Kogami…

And! Oh no!

IT’S BABY!RYOKEN SITTING ON THE FLOOR CLUTCHING HIS HEAD

MY TINY BOY IS CRYING

FUCK

BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

YUSAKU AND SHOICHI ARE IN! RYOKEN’S! HOUSE!

STANDING RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HIM

FUUUUUUCK

[alex-guerin]

Alright, so, this is Jason. There’s been some rather confusing developments with him as of late. 

Last Saturday, for the first time in the over two months he and I have been non-stop texting and talking to each other, he and I FINALLY hung out outside of work. He invited me over to hang around and have a few drinks, he ended up fixing us dinner, and we both get very huggsy when we’re tipsy so there were lots of hugs and hanging off each other and being silly and goofy and just having a great time making each other laugh the whole night. We eventually wound up on the couch and I complained about being cold, and the next thing I knew, I had a pair of arms around me, pulling me in and we were totally cuddled up on the couch. Like, my head on his chest, arm across his stomach, and his arms around me, head resting on mine. It felt so freakin’ good to be held like that. Eventually he said we needed to go check on the pork loin that was being smoked and after I fussed for a minute about not wanting to move, we started to get up off the couch and he looked at me for a long minute before looking away quickly. I asked him “What?”, he just shook his head and said, “Nothing.” So I asked again, “No, what? What was that look about?” He stood up and shrugged and answered with, “I was just about to do something I probably shouldn’t do.” So I stood up and invaded his space a little bit and was like, “Oh yeah? Like what?” And next thing I know, his hands are on my hips pulling me in towards him and his face is pressed against my neck and he’s kissing right at the crook of my neck. I spare most of the details, but let’s just say I got 2/3rds of my Christmas Wish -- I got to be held by him like I was something special to him, and I finally got to kiss him, really kiss him. And, uh, yeah, as they say, “One thing led to another...” annnnnd yeah, the pork loin ended up a little over done cuz we took a little bit longer getting back out to it than we had planned on (...when did my life become a fanfic, by the way?)

Weirdly enough, everything was fine. Nothing got weird or awkward, and in fact later I stole his hat from him, he tried to get it back and I just smirked at him and went, “Yeah? What’cha gonna do ‘bout it, Cowboy?” He sat there for a minute, looked at me, looked back at the TV for a minute, looked back at me and went, “What am I gonna do ‘bout it, huh?” Leaned in and started kissing me again. It was a compelling argument, but he still didn’t get his hat back. LOL! I did end up staying the night though, cuz even though I knew I’d be okay driving, it was so late and I had been drinking earlier and was still a bit buzzed, and by the time we started falling asleep on the couch together, I’d been up 28hrs again. So, we slept on the couch cuddled up a bit for a while before he woke up to go pee and came back and was like, “C’mon, let’s go lay down” and into his room and bed we went, where we literally just cuddled up to each other and fell right back to sleep. No kisses, nothing inappropriate, just him pulling my arm over him so I could snuggle into his side and us zonking right back out.

Monday, because I had to be sure, I texted him and asked, “We’re still just friends, aren’t we?” ... he answered back, “Yes, we’re still just friends.” It hurt, but I accepted it and everything was fine. 

Then Wednesday happened. Corie, the co-worker who cornered him and told him to come talk to me in the first place, came up to me and asked what was going on between us, was there anything going on between us, and I honestly didn’t know how to answer her until she told me that she knew he use to mess around with one of the women in another department from 3rd shift. I asked her if it was “the purple haired chick”, and yeah, it was. This chick gave me a rather dirty look the one day she saw me wearing his ballcap after I’d stolen it and refused to give it back to him, and then just the week before or so, me and him were walking up to the front of the building together, and she was heading towards us. We stopped so he could talk to her and she gave me a look that very much said, “Keep walking, this doesn’t concern you.” She stepped in closer to him and lowered her voice so I couldn’t hear her. I kept walking, pretending to play on my phone and didn’t say anything. A few days later I saw her waiting around until he came by on his forklift so she could say something to him, dunno what, but I glanced back as i rounded a corner and saw her laughing and looking a bit smug as she and her friend started following behind me. So, yeah, I figured she was who he use to mess around with. It hurt, but not nearly as much as Corie telling me that she had just seen them standing outside together, and chick standing really, really close to him. He doesn’t even let me stand overly close to him a lot of the time. There’s a few times we stand close together, and he lets me hug his shoulders and flop over them in the mornings when he gets in and he’s at his computer, but, that’s really about it most times. So, yeah, I started getting upset and hurt. 

So, after work, he and I had a rather stinted text conversation that ended with me in tears, sobbing my heart out the whole afternoon and into the evening. I flat out asked him if I needed to give up the hope I’d been holding out on with me and him. Since the times he’d told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship, I’d always tell him I was gonna hold onto a little bit of hope. When I flat out asked him if I needed to give up the hope, he said “Yes” and left it at that. I was heartbroken especially since I figured it had a lot to do with the damned purple haired chick he apparently use to mess around with and everything. He texted me later saying he was sorry, he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings or anything, but he had said right from the start that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at the moment. I refused to answer the text and just went to bed crying. 

Thursday morning when I got into work, first thing I did was walk into the managers office and tell them I had half a personal day left and I was fucking using it at lunch. 4:30 rolled around and I had one of my guys put my shit in my locker for me, put Jason’s hoodie (that I stole from him Sunday morning) on his computer and I fucking booked it outta there. I wandered WalMart for a good long while and finally got home a li’l after 6:30am, glanced at my phone and hey, what’d’ya know? There’s a text from Jason: “Took a half day? I saw you left my hoodie.” I honestly wasn’t expecting anything from him at all. I figured I’d fucked shit up, he wasn’t gonna talk to me, so I was surprised and didn’t know what to do. I was still hurting from him telling me I needed to give up my hope. So I only answered with “Yup”. He texted back right before he went back into work (he was on his first break when he started texting me) going, “Well, I can tell by your text that you’re upset. So I’m gonna let you go for now.” Which, of course, made me feel horrible! I felt like the worst version of myself! But I was hurting! And feeling so terrible that I apparently let myself have a one night stand for the first time in my life. 

Anyway, I eventually texted him back saying I just couldn’t physically, mentally, or emotionally handle being there right then. I had to leave and get away from everyone before I had a breakdown. Then I waited a little while longer before I sent him this:  “Also, I’m sorry too. I’m the one who stupidly kept trying to hold onto hope when everything inside kept screaming I was just setting myself up to be hurt again. But in all honesty, I’m not gonna take the full blame. I know you don’t like to or want to, but I think you should go back and reread a few of our convos, because whether it was intentional or not, after a while you were starting to send off a lot of mixed signals and it felt a lil like I was being led on. I should have questioned it a while ago, but that lil bit of hope had me ignoring it all. Am I hurt and upset? Yeah, of course I am, and it’s gonna take a while for the hurt to go away, but it’s not all directed at you. You’re my friend, one of my closest ones at that by this point, and nothing is gonna change that. I’m still gonna be here for you when you need to be talked off a ledge, and still do whatever I can to help, and will always have your back.” He texted me back at his lunch break with, “You’re right. I took it too far at times and for that I apologize. I’ll always have your back as well.” I waited a while again before answering him, but I told him he’d always be one of my guys and that I’d see him in the morning. 

...and of course by the time I went to bed we were texting each other, I was getting updates of how the day went once I left, and we were making each other laugh again. So, things were good. Things are good between us. 

Friday I got my usual hug from him before I left for the day and asked if it’d be okay for me to swing by Saturday to pick up what was left of my case of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, he said sure, and off I went. Well, we texted a bit once he got off work, not a whole lot cuz I was fucking exhausted and he had the kids, but Saturday he texted me in the afternoon to see how my day off was going. I told him it kind sucked and we finally agreed since the kids left at noon that me and him would just get together and hang out. We FINALLY went to the arcade -- he kicked my ass at every game except Mario Karts -- we bowled for a round -- he again kicked my ass, my pathetic 39 to his 103 -- and then went out for dinner and drinks to a bar and grill down the street. That’s where the pic was taken. 

We were waiting to pay our tab, he looked at me and just took his hat off and plopped it on my head. I was so freakin’ happy! He even let me wear it the whole rest of the night. Literally, the whoooooooooole rest of the night. But we made our way back to his place, had a couple more drinks and got to talking and...well...we had a talk about us. 

I was hugging him at the time, cuz he put his arms around my shoulders first, and he was like, “I love you, I’d do anything for you, y’know that?” I shoved my face in his chest and said I loved him too, and then we were quick to clarify it was the platonic love (okay, he clarified...I kinda went, “Uh-huh, I know...”) which led into our talking about what happened Wednesday. He started off by apologizing again, and I tried to shrug it off saying it was fine, I was use to it and he was like, “No, I don’t want you to have to be use to it! You shouldn’t have to be!” and we talked a lil more before I finally was like, “So, I should give up hope, but not give it up?” He put his arm around my shoulder and went, “No! I...see? I don’t know how to answer this! I didn’t know how to answer it when you asked the first time, either! I don’t want you to not have hope! I like you! I really do! I love spending time with you! I mean, I know there’s not gonna be anything right now, and I’m sorry! I am sorry! It’s just where I’m at! It’s not you! I don’t want you to give up hope because I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what’ll happen a couple weeks from now, a month from now. So...I don’t want you to lose hope, but...” Things kinda trailed off from there and we started talking about other things. 

I’m kind of proud of us, actually. There were a couple of times we came so close to kissing. The deep, intense staring into each other’s eyes, the hitched breath just before one of us looked away and put a bit of space between us again. And at one point while we were sitting on the couch, he leaned into me and then basically flopped across my lap and I started rubbing his shoulders and back and neck (he’d been complaining the whole night about them hurting since he slept on the floor with his kids the night before) for a lil while. He turned his head to press his face against my thigh and hugged one of my knees until he finally pushing himself back upright, gave me a sort of apologetic smile, and just stayed sitting up but hunched over his lap for a little while longer. So I kept my hand on his back and just kept smoothing over it until he reached back, took my hand and leaned back into the couch and put his arm over mine and kept our hands close together. Not holding hands, but close together. 

After a while we decided it was time for bed, so we wandered into his room and just like before, we snuggled into each other and just cuddleclinged to each other the whole night. There were only a few times during the night we weren’t touching in some way. And it wasn’t inappropriate or anything. It was actual just sleeping together. In fact, when I laid down and he scooted closer to me, his actions of putting his arm across me screamed that he was almost unsure as to whether he should or not. He obviously decided he should and we just stayed cuddled for the longest time. 

I am trying not to get my hopes up again, but at the same time, he told me not to lose all hope. So, it’s kind of rekindled, I guess? I really am trying to be cautious about this, but...I dunno. It’s crazy, actually. I usually feel awkward and fidgity when I’m alone with guys. Like, I love all my boys in the freezer/cooler, but if I spent more than a few minutes one on one with them, I’d start getting awkward and feeling paranoid or self-conscious or something. It’s not like that with Jason. I feel comfortable with him, and safe. I feel like myself, I guess. Enough that I told him last night I’d spent my whole life being told I wasn’t good enough or that I was kind of an idiot and he got upset with me for saying those things (”How many times have I told you that you don’t give yourself enough credit!? Stop listening to those people! Stop believing them!”) I don’t admit that to anyone. Not out loud, not verbally. And, I keep finding myself having daydreams about finally getting to meet his kids and being great with them and him seeing that and it maybe knocking another brick away from his resolve. I almost texted him to ask what they wanted for Christmas, for crying out loud! 

I just...I dunno guys. It’s all confusing and mixed up and I am all flabbergasted that it’s even kinda happening at all. (Oh, and I’m put into his phone as “Lyssa” and he called me that two times last night which I kinda loved, and at one point he was talking and he was like, “Hey where’s the Monster (energy drink) at, girlfriend?” sooooooo yeah..........)

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 14 - “Maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time” - Owen

What the motherfucking ass shit was that. Who in their right mind would let it slip so that Ian/Devon would play an idol. And then Matt playing the idol, first of all wtf I didn't know he had an idol. But god damn that was messy. I'm shook that Maynor and I didn't get any votes in the revote, but wow that paints a target on our backs which is the last thing I want. It makes me feel great about where I'm at with the people I've been talking to and even those outside the alliance. So this is both good and bad but wow messy. Ahhhh I still don't know how to feel, but if that revote tied then maynor and i would've gone to rocks and been out since it would only be us and yeet there I go.

I feel super shitty for doing that to Corey. I don't even know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to have to use my tiebreaker yet and if it had tied I was not about to let Timmy/Maynor go home. I never wanted to turn on Corey in this game but the way this merge has turned out ugh idk. I had to make a choice and I had to choose the group of  people I feel comfortable with over the group of people I'm only tied to because of Corey. It was shitty all around. I'm sorry Corey, I know you're going to be mad at me but asdfkjhf fuck i love u :((( god im shit. okaythat was actually kind of crazy tho and I'm honestly a little happy it went down like that? two idols OUT OF HERE! and that ian idol couldve been so fucked up later on. matt's idol gone got me happy af too. I feel closer with timmy and maynor after this round and hopefully matt knows he cann trust me for not blowin up on him about his HIDDEN IDOL!!!!  madison and I got closer a little this vote too. I'm glad she was on the same page as me. It's a little awkward to deal with the aftermath of devon and ian. especially with corey or cullan coming back.... cullan I can deal with but corey not so much. thats gonna suck. i still got my idol i still got my tiebreaker and a threat is still leaving either way. but now when the pieces rearrange next vote I gotta work hard to pull them together in my favor. kjDFHSKJSF goooooooooooooooooooooooood idk. that wa swild. i said at tribal that the game was gonna blow up soon. maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time lmao

Oh... WIG guess this tribal popped the hell awf. At the time of my last confessional I had no intention of playing my idol, but things were just so tense and quiet that I knew it should be done, but boy did I not know how badly it needed to be. Now I’m more scared than ever with like 3 pissed off people and all the eyes on me for having a secret idol. Guess it’s time for everyone to stop playing quiet, easy games, and time to go the heck crazy.

Annnnnd that was the worst possible outcome from that round. I inadvertently idol'd out my closest ally. My game could potentially be over, this very well be my first ever double digit placement in the 9 orgs I have played, but if I'm going out then it's not before I do the only move I got left. I've shared all my information I have been sitting on about Owen/Kait and by extension Matt, how they are aligned with Thomas and Madison. All I can do is let the others make informed decisions on how they think this game can be played best for them. If they choose to let the power team continue to run it for them then that's their prerogative. It's all I have left. At the very least I didn't go home with an idol in my pocket and I didn't burn it without needing to use it.

So last night, I wanted to die after the votes became 0-0. Me and Timmy had a 1/3 shot of going home but we some how managed to get zero votes against us. I felt really bad about voting for Corey. He was someone i really liked and was working with but we got to different sides. Now ian has some interesting info that Owen and Kait are part of an alliance with Thomas & Madison and also had devon and corey. Idk which side they are most loyal to because they sided with us this time but they could easily flip to other side if they wanted to. I need to keep an eye on them thats for sure.  

---

What the hell, 11 idols in play!? Like this twist is crazy. I want and need to find my idol. There is no excuse. I really need it to make sure im here after tribal. Like idk care who its getting votes as long as im safe.

I have so many feelings on this immunity challenge. Mainly I'm pissed because I don't have an idol clue because I got second so technically I didn't bite Chips so he didn't get a clue for me which sucks because like people like me I guess so I'm pretty much punished for that. As a result it could be easy to vote for me since I have a disadvantage in finding my idol since I don't have the clue. I'm scared because of that since what I learned after last tribal is spicy (and i'll make another confessional about that tomorrow) so I don't even know what to do at tribal and I'm just hoping it's not me. But I didn't give Thomas his clue so hopefully that will help me since he won't know where to look either so that's an advantage for me because I have absolutely no reason to give him his clue, we don't talk. I'm not going to help someone else while subsequently actively hurting myself. At times I also want to try looking at spots for other people to try and get their idol so I know that they won't have it...but that's just a maybe.

---

I’m heated and I can’t even do much about it because of the nature of this round. Kait, Owen, and Matt think their sitting so pretty and I’m fucking sick of it. Here I thought I was doing well and hearing shit about them and now seeing it first hand is ridiculous. Owen is kind of slipping up with that trio and here’s why. Owen told me that kait and Matt found their idols, so I messaged both of them asking how their hunt is going. Kait hasn’t answered yet but Matt says “If I get up at 9am and guess every hour I’ll find it” because he’s “figured out the math”. Bitch i already know you have it and now you’re just lying to my face. Like we’re in an alliance together but I guess that doesn’t mean shit to you. I’m assuming Owen even probably has his idol and is lying to me. I feel so stuck because i can’t make a move this round due to the idols, but I’m probably going this round due to not having a fucking idol clue because of the bullshit this challenge was.

---

OH OH KAIT JUST ANSWERED “no luck lol I suck” WOWOWOW AND SHE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME FIND MINE. Fucking fake people i can’t stand them.

THIS WHOLE IDOL THING GOT ME CRACKT OUT MY MIND LMAOOOOOO HSKSHDJDJDHD FORST OF ALL!!!!!!! I hate that tommy gave immunity to chips and not Timmy. Why wouldn’t tommy pick someone more likely to give him his clue????? Ugh. SECOND OF ALL. Literally fuck madison and Maynor for giving Devon and Ian their clues. What the fuck were they actually thinking !?!?!?!? Everyone with a clue is gonna find their idol unless they’re stupid or someone else finds it first so like.... idk I genuinely don’t get it. I think Maynor just wasn’t thinking and madison was tryna be social with Devon idek. I’m mad about it and it makes me want madison outta here. Not Maynor tho bc he’s precious and I luv him. Third thing why does Devon think I’m going to believe any guess he sends me nnnnnnn like he sent me matt and Kait random coordaintes that apparently weren’t it. I replied to Devon being like ‘e9 is miss too hehe’ and then realized I shouldn’t tell him where I’m searching and panicked and sent ‘omg typo meant r9 oops!’ Hskshdjdjdh Fourth KAIT FOUND MT IDOL SHSHDHD AND THEN WOULDNT GIVE UT TO ME AND I ACCIDENTSLLTNPOSTED ABOUT IT IN THE TEIBE CHAG AND KEPT IT THERE FOR A MINUTE IM SO STUPID. Literally started crying after. I’m like I can’t velieve I did that but if only my roommate hadn’t woken me up singing I’d still be ASLEEO RN AND NOT FUCKING UP. Or if Kait had just Given ME!!!! Oh my god like I’m rlly embarrassed and if they didn’t know Kait and I were tight before they sure do now! Tommy and Timmy are the only ones without clues. It’s kinda fucked that chips didn’t get a clue for Timmy grrrr. I rlly don’t want either of them to go but if I gotta I guess it needs to be Thomas. But I can tell Kait wants thomasnto stay....

---

God I love when the dumb bitch disease flares up 

Having idol make me happy, but I’m probably gonna end up losing a number, that being either Thomas or Timmy. I can’t even figure out who I want to go out of those two and I hope maybe Ian doesn’t have his? It’s very strange trying to come down from the last vote without really having the chance to vote anyone besides who’s available.

Honestly this challenge probably could not have come at a better time, just about everyone has their idol so people feel more free to talk since we're all "safe" but if Timmy goes instead of Thomas my game could still be in trouble. The beauty of this round for me is that I planted the seeds about Owen/Kait/Madison/Thomas alliance before the challenge even began, then they played it out exactly how they would and Timmy at least took notice. Timmy has become woke, that's why I absolutely need him to stay, I can't say for sure if Chips is on the wavelength but Maynor seems to be since he shared my clue, albeit late, but he did. I could still end up tenth but if that alliance burns to the ground then I have done what I needed to in this game. I also talked things over with Mateo, we might work together down the line, we might not. At the very least I expressed why I felt we had beef at the beginning of merge and that I was willing to turn a new leaf with him. 

So this is a crazy round obviously. I really think the trio approach really helped but finding all those idols myself was crazy. Still don’t feel safe in this game for now, going to be a crazy night. 

I’m so stressed!!! Like I don’t want to go home on a twist round, that already happened in Virgin Islands, like been there done that already. I have Thomas’ idol so I know he doesn’t have it, thank god. People are saying their voting Thomas, but I have no reason to believe them bc they have been lying to me so much. I only trust maynor so if I see after the season that he was lying to me...I’m going to be hurt, like genuinely hurt for a while because he knows how much I trust him. These past 2 rounds have been taxing on my stability and I want to make a move but with the nature of this round, i can’t.

There were barely any vote talk this round. I found my idol and Im playing it on myself. Im trying to find Timmy’s we only have 2 more guesses. Thomas is the target this round which okay with me because he hasnt been talking to me all that much so dont think he’ll be a good ally moving forward. This round has been not chaptic like last round.

So this vote has a lot for me to cover. Last time, I was voted out alongside Corey. However, after a 3 1/2 hour endurance challenge, I fought my way back into the game with an idol and a legacy only the jury know about! Coming back into the game there was a challenge which chips won immunity. There was also a twist where everyone had to search the grid for their own idols where I found mine and will be immune at tonight’s vote. From what I know, Thomas does not have his idol therefore will be the person I am voting for and hopefully he goes home and I don’t get blindsided again

in a shocking turn of events...... i love tommy so much i'm so sad at the prospect of him leaving. 

Well I am very fucking pissed at the moment. Timmy wanted to keep the fucking idol clue away from me and I wasn't able to find a fucking idol. Now I am going to be going home because of it. I just got to get this off my chest, THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SHITTY! I love traditional Survivor gameplay and stuff like the warzone and the everyone gets an idol twist like Oprah gives everyone a car twist is unnecessary. Like what the fuck! I've been in several ORGs but, no offense to Alyssa, Johnny, and Monty, this has been the worse ORG I have been apart of. I was able to meet Kait, Maynor and Chloe but those were the only posituve things from this ORG aside from a few challenge ideas I got for my ORG. That is it. Peace y'all.

[meticulousfox-theparadox]

DO ALL OF THEM MWAHAHA

Omg. Thanks you evil anon. 😂😂

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I always add more milk than cereal, and it makes me so sad.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I actually freaking love it. ngl.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I sometimes just random strings/ribbons I find, or like a hair tie. But this one time I used bobby pins.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Coffee: I love diabetes with my coffee. (I love a lot of sugar tbh) which is like so bad for me, but whatevs. Tea: uhh I just drink it???

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Very self conscious, I hate it. But I show it because I’m generally pretty happy.

6: do you keep plants?

No, but I would love to have plants! It would be fun to own a garden.

7: do you name your plants?

I would name them if I had them!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I write poems honestly.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

All the freaking time. I love singing tbh.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I switch between my stomach and my side. But mostly my stomach tbh.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

1-800-DrugFlab. It’s a looooong story. 😂😂😂😂

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Oooo, that has to be Saturn. I just love how it’s a gaseous planet and that gravitational pull of debris that creates it’s rings is pretty freaking tiiiight. In my opinion.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Recieving a phone call from a said awesome person. 💕

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

It would look amazing. Tapestrys, christmas lights, and nature paintings everywhere! And soft couches and chairs. With pretty rugs. 😍

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

The largest asteroid ever recorded is a mammoth piece of space rock named Ceres.

The asteroid is almost 600 miles in diameter. It’s by far the largest in the asteroid belt and accounts for a whole third of the belt’s mass. The surface area is approximately equal to the land area of India or Argentina. It’s so big, there’s actually some debate over whether to refer to it as a dwarf planet instead of an asteroid, even if it has mostly asteroid-like qualities.

(Ayyy we all learned something new today.)

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

That’s so hard, because I love all pasta. But I guess my favorite has to be chicken Alfredo.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I REALLY want to do a black to greyish/white ombre. Because I think I would look so cute with it.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

It was my first year of high school/secondary school. And I was rocking in one of the chairs, I fell back and as I fell, I turned off the front classroom lights which in a way created a spotlight for me when I landed on the ground with a big bang. I was so freaking embarrassed, but my friends found it hilarious.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I don’t necessarily keep a journal or anything. But on my phone I like to go into my notes and write poems and stuff. Nothing too fancy or post worthy though.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

I love light coloured eyes tbh. Seeing as mine are brown. I adore blue and green. But blue is my 100% favorite.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My red backpack I got like almost five years ago. It’s my favorite and I had it through high school and I still use it now when I go sleep at a friend’s house. lol

22: are you a morning person?

Not really. I prefer the night time more.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I personally just love to listen to music, play video games, or just talk on the phone with people that mean something to me.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Of course. And he knows who he is. (:

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Uhhhh, my friend’s interested house to plant a vaccuum cleaner in his closet. For his birthday. Annnnnd like I never went there before that day annnnnnd he’s also my general manager at work. Sooo. Lol.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

That has to be my black vans. I wear them to work every day too.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I really don’t chew gum tbh.

28: sunrise or sunset?

I personally love the sunset.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Sing to me and play guitar. (:

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Oh hell yeah, more times that I can count tbh.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I wear mismatch socks. With either Disney villians, Harry Potter, or Pokemon on them. I hate sleeping with socks on ngl.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Uhhh, I remember one time we got super drunk at a friends house. We were playing fuck the dealer. Where like you had to guess the card on hand. You had to tries and if you didn’t get it, you had to take the number of that card, in shots. We were so gone, and then after that we just played music, ate taco bell and chilled. (My 3 A.M. stories are usually just drinking or drug related so. Lol)

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Danishes. Cheese or cherry or even blueberry. Mmmmm.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I had a plush dog that I named Clark and I gave him away to my friend recently because he was moving away from me.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

Uhhhh noooo. I do not. Lol

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Honestly, EDM artist fit my mood more than bands tbh. 😂😂

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?My room is mostly clean besides like clothes on my bed sometimes. But that’s the worst of it.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Dishes in the sink, interruption during my favorite part of a song, video game, book, ect. And over neediness.

39: what color do you wear the most?

That’s so hard, cause I wear a lot of colour. I used to wear a lot of black, but I kind of grew out of that. The only time I wear like a lot of black is for work. Hahah. I guess I wear blue a lot though??

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

My gold rose ring that I always wear on my right ring finger. My dad got it for my birthday last year. And it just means a lot to me.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

The Fallen by Thomas E. Sniegoski

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

There’s this freaking coffee shop downtown of where I am! And I can’t remember for the life of me what it was called. But they have the best chai tea lattes and scones. Like omg. 😍

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

My friend Cydnie like two months ago. We traveled to this quiet spot near the water where we could see the big bridge of the city and see all the lights of the bridge reflecting on the water, and the stars were so bright, even with the light pollution.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Right now tbh. I honestly love my life and everything/everyone that is in it. (:

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Oh god, yes. My gut never steers me wrong.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m a situational pun person, so you only get one. From the last post. (;

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Brussle sprouts. They smell horrible and should fuck off. (Sorrynotsorry) lol

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Fucking Spiders, I still can’t handle them. It’s such an irrational fear that causes me to hyperventilate. 😅

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

Records. The last record bought was a Mastodon album. Once More ‘Round the Sun, to be exact.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Not odd but plush animals.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Doses & Mimosas. ✌

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YEAH BOIIIIIII

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I looooooooove them. Bettlejuice is bae though.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

One of my friends at work, I was very concerned. ):

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

Put myself in awkward situations which calls a lot of attention to myself. (That’s also funny because I comically prove points)

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Geniune emotions, intelligence, good humour. I find people that just embrace their weirdness and what makes them so very endearing.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

Honestly? It made me extremely happy. And I definitely reenact the lyrics, Every. Damn. Time.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I’m the wine mom. Because I love wine firstly and because I’m all loopy and come up with stupid but silly ideas for fun. Plus, I’m like super over caring and giggly intoxicated.

Vodka aunt? Oh man, that has to be Matt. He gets so fucking queenie while drunk. And he even goes overboard and gets to the point where he can barely walk. I love him though, he’s hilarious.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Vampires. Because low key, I would love to be one if that was even a possibility.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I love poetry. I have too many favorites tbh.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Oh god, I can’t really think of one. On both ends.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Uh not really but if I did, I would drink Orange or Apple juice.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Ehhh I just leave them be tbh. I’m really not fussy about it unless there’s a chance of them getting damaged. Then I freak out.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Blue and the sun is out very brightly.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

There are many friends that I miss dearly, and I would love to see them all again.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Multicolored, vibrant and just free.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

At peace honestly. I love when it rains and I love gloomy weather a lot.

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Not as cool as I wish it was. It snowed here once, and it was just an inch of freaking snow. Which is lameee. But like it’s humid here so it’s weird when the temperature drops and rises. Along with it being so bipolar here.

69: what are your favorite board games?

I always loved Candy Land for whatever reason. It’s the simplest game and a fast playing game. But I guess that’s why I love it. The simplest things make me happy.

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Naaaaaah. And I really don’t plan on it. Call me what you may, but I don’t want to attract any negative energy in my life.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

I love green tea.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?Depends on what the information is, but for the most part I have a decent memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I have a bad habit of not brushing my hair every day. My hair is freaking curly and when I brush it, it gets all frizzy. It just doesn’t work. But I regret it when I brush it after a shower the next day.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Short, coloured hair, absolutely hilarious, EDM lover, chill af, loved by most, knows how to have a good time, and a really kind heart.

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a German Shepard, name Attila and he is fucking adorable. And huge.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

I should probably do some laundry, but I really can’t be bothered to do so.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Omg pink all the way! I’ll settle for yellow if that’s all you have though.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

Is there an indifferent club? Because that would be where I stand. lol

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

I really think of the cutest. I have had a lot of cute things done for me. Plantonically and romantically.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

There are white, I did not choose this colour. And I would paint it if I could, but alas, I’m in an apartment.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

The eyes that I’m imagining are the deepest blue I have seen. It’s like staring into the ocean and seeing the waves rushing around. There’s a storm in those eyes. And just seeing the waters calm, is like the sun comes out and the blue becomes bright and looks like the sun glistening on the waters of Bora Bora.

82: are/were you good in school?

I was pretty chill at school. I didn’t really do homework though and I skipped class a lot. Which I really regret now, but when I go back I’m planning on being completely focused and working towards my goal.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

Mastodon’s album covers are nice tbh. Plus some of the EDM artist artwork are beautiful ngl.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I have so many tattoo plans, if I even started to explain all that I wanted there would be a novel here to read. Haha.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

Nah I don’t. It never called my attention, but I never even tried so. Hmm.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Ehhhhhh.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Lord of The Rings Phantom of the Opera&&&Moulin Rouge.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Not that I know of really. But I’m open to explore them!

89: are you close to your parents?

I’m really close to my dad. I have no relationship with my mother and that’s whatever tbh.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Tumblr post: “I’m in love with cities and countries I never been to.” I can’t even pick a favorite yet because I haven’t gone to them yet.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

If I had the money, there are many places I would be travelling this year.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Droooooowns my pasta in cheese. I fucking love cheese, man.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

I wear my hair down the most, I really don’t do much with my hair. Other than wash it and go.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My queenie boo Matt. We went out to dinner and then went to a gay bar for karaoke, it was so lit.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I really don’t think that far ahead?? All my plans are very spontaneous. The way I like it tbh.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I have no computer and it fucking sucks.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ESFP! Sun Taurus! And Ravenclaw!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I went hiking like three or four months ago? With Cydnie and Matt. It was really fun. Even though we couldn’t find the waterfall.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Pretty Girl - Cheat Codes X Cade remixStay Free - Proto ft. DjodieFriends - Chase Atlantic Drowning - Eden ProjectMad Hatter - Melanie Martinez(There’s so many more)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Five years into the future, because I would like to know if I’m on the right path to a good future or if I have changes to make. The future scares me the most.Plus, I wouldn’t change my past because that’s what made me who I am today. And I like to think I’m a pretty great person. (:

That took fucking forever, I had to really think about this. It was fun though. So thanks. Haha.✌

[monster-teeth]

Tagged by the lovely @thecrimsonclouds , thanks for tagging me! (sorry i got to this so late)

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 cool followers whoever you would like to get to know better.

Name: Y’all can call me Niko Nicknames: uhhh Niko again, or you can call me Monster i guess but I prefer Niko or ニコ..... yeah just Niko’s fine. Sign: Gemini Height: 5′7″ maybe 5′8″ if im lucky Orientation:  Ace Ethnicity: White mutt lol.  My last name comes from the Ukraine though and that part of my family was some of the first settlers to Maryland.  Im small bits of all sorts of stuff. Favourite Fruit: Uhhhhh. I don’t know.  I like apples and peaches, and sometimes pears? But i love mandarin oranges! Love love love love them Favourite season: Winter?  There’s no bugs.  If there weren’t bugs any season then i might like spring more Favourite Book: I like Courtney Crumrin, The Left Hand of Darkness Favourite Flower: I like Forget-Me-Nots, and StarGazer Lillies and Tiger Lillies and i LOVE Oriental Lillies(they smell so good!), and Queen Anne’s Lace Favourite scent: There’s this Avon star shaped perfume my mom gave me that i like a lot but, ORIENTAL LILLY SMELL.  IS THE BEST SMELL. Average Sleep Hours: Usually about 6 Favourite Fictional Character: I like too many people.  Who am I obsessed with right now?(and super relate to) Teruki Hanazawa Number of Blankets you sleep with: At least 4, usually more. But only like one or two more and then a few random smaller blankets that just get tossed around. Ideal Trip: I like going hiking? kind of (my feet are fucked up so its hard for me to walk too much) I wouldn’t mind going back to Universal Studios some time Blog created: March 14th, 2015 apparently.

EDIT: WHOOPS 2014.  March 14th, 2014.

Number of followers: Okay legit almost all of them are bots, but 300 something

tagging @space-romeo   @terubi / @lulatiic (whichever blog you feel like doing it on)    @guardiandae   @birdindistress  @automaticfave   @snoozi   @ilee-font   @uselessshitposting   @noconceptoflife

annnnnd im too tired to tag anymore.  Feel free not to do or if you’ve already done it or whatever, If you wanted to do it, go ahead!

[lalka-laski]

If you have a job, how long is your shift? I do have a job though I’m not working at the moment. My shifts are either 6 hours or 10 hours, oddly. It’s very rare that I work a typical 8 hour day.  What was the last thing you received in an envelope? A super sweet card and gift card from my mom. She is a lifesaver! Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? Actually no. I either wear it in a messy bun or piled up in a big claw clip. I have’t worn a true ponytail in ages. When was the last time you got a new phone? Years ago Do you wear your watch on your left or right arm? I don’t wear a watch

What was the last kind of pop you drank? Diet Coke that I spilled over ALL the contents of my coffee table and the rug underneath it. I was very close to tears. It was just the icing on the cake of an already shitty day. (But good news: today has been much better!) Do you think you’re single because you repel the opposite sex? I’m not single What language did you take up in high school? I took French every year Why are you home? Well we are all quarantined to our homes except for essential trips so WOOHOO! Do you like sunflowers? They’re pretty but they’re not my favorite. Whose bedroom were you in last? Besides my own it was my sister’s, but that was a couple weeks ago now. Are you counting down for anything? This pandemic to be over? Whenever that may be.  Are you watching TV? What’s on? For ONCE the TV isn’t on. It’s a nice break! Have you ever been bitten by a mosquito? Mhm  Do you have a sweatshirt on right now? Yep Where is your ex? Don’t know or care in the slightest Have any pictures on your dresser mirror? Two actually Did you hang out with anyone today? What did you do? I’m not sure if it counts as “hanging out” when I spend time with Glenn now since we live together. Have you had any beer this week? Nope just wine. It’s the official drink of my quarantine, apparently.  What channel did you last watch on tv? NBC to watch a press conference with Cuomo  What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? I’m having a glass of Sauv Blanc right now. Surveys and wine seem to be my wind down time. Currently waiting on something/someone? I’m wait for the clock to hit 5 so I can get started on dinner. That’s really it. Last time you painted your nails? I haven’t painted my own nails in YEARS. I was never good at it. But with salons being closed it looks like I may have to learn...  What was the last thing you watched on television? Didn’t I just answer this? Is your shirt yellow? Nope How old will you be in 12 months? 28 *throws up into mouth* What did you do last night? The same thing I’ve been doing every night.  What woke you up this morning? An obnoxious bird outside the window. So I had to get out of bed and close it shut.  Do you sleep naked? Sometimes. Always pantsless though.  What should you be doing right now? I’m about to start making dinner but that’s it Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? Never in a million years did I envision I’d live through a global pandemic. Such is life! Does the person you have feelings for start with any of these letters: B, L, D, or M? Nope Do you have make-up on? Nah  Have you kissed anybody in the last 4 days? Sure have Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yep  The last person you kissed name started with a J or R? Nope Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? I’m about 5′7″ exactly. Although Glenn is convinced I’m 5′8″ because I appear taller than him and he thinks he’s 5′7″. Lol. Would you rather be called honey or baby? I love them both! Honey feels best coming from an older, caring figure and baby is best coming from a romantic partner. So for example, I love when my aunt calls me honey and when my boyfriend calls me baby. The person you have the most feelings for calls you right now, what do you do? I’d ask him why the fuck he’s doing that since he’s sitting three feet away from me.  Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because ^^ that  Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I intend to. Cigarettes are naaaasty.  Your last kiss meant nothing to you, right? Absolutely wrong Where is your phone? Right next to me  Will you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, probably in a few minutes.  What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Well we’re actively avoiding that until we’re financially ready but if by some chance I got pregnant, we’d go through with it.  Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Well technically Plato’s Closet but it’s PINK.  Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? Most likely Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I’ve been one for 13 years! Did anyone call you babe yesterday? Yep  Did you ever slam a door on someone? Yes Have you ever walked on the beach at night? It’s one of my favorite activities  I bet you’re thinking about someone right now? Not particularly  Are you in love with someone right now? I sure am What have you watched so far today? The news and Bojack Horseman What is the weather like right now? It’s beautiful. Warm but with a slight chill, and sunny skies Are you talking to anyone on AIM right now? Who? GIRL HOW OLD IS THIS LOL What is your favorite card game? I don’t care for traditional card games but if we’re talking just games that involve cards- I love this new game “Buzzed.” It’s a drinking game, go figure.  What kind of pet do you have? Any certain breed? None What color shirt are you wearing right now? Black  Do you wish someone was dead? No way  What’s your favorite ice cream? Creme Brulee! I’m still enraged at Ben & Jerry’s for discontinuing theirs, but I like other brands too.  Have you ever given a toll collector 75 cents in pennies? Fuck no Give me the link to your favorite Youtube video: I don’t have a single favorite  The last time you hurt yourself-how did it happen? Who knows? I run into shit all the time.  What’s the name of dance you can actually dance to? I can do all the cheesy step-by-step dances they do at weddings and parties. (And I love them, sue me!)  If you could have any pet you wanted, what would it be? I’m not much of a pet person. Maybe a cat or a bunny. Did you ever have an invisible friend? That’s.... not healthy lol.  How many emails were you sent today? I had one work email and a few personal emails (confirmations for online shopping I just did).  Favorite sleeping position? I sleep on my back and sometimes in the fetal position.  What are you drinking right now? Sauv Blanc What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Beer- Red ales, specifically Smithwick’s Wine- Dry whites like the Sauv Blanc I’m enjoying right now. Although if I could, I’d drink sparkling wine every. damn. day. Prosecco is my go-to! Liquor- Vodka, usually with diet ginger ale or soda water.  How many hours of sleep do you get each night? It varies night to night. Last night I got about 8 maybe? Are you a good morning person? Actually, yes! Have you ever been on a diet? I’ve had my share of dangerous crash diets. Right now I’ve been doing OMAD although I don’t consider that a diet. Annnnnd to be honest, I haven’t been sticking to it anyways during quarantine. It’s too easy to snack! What’s your favorite dessert? Cookies! I’m not a fan of cake/cupcakes but I’d throw down for a good chocolate chip cookie. And a glass of milk, of course! What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? I got an air fryer and a crockpot and I use them both religiously  What have you thought up yet for this year’s list? It’s only April so, definitely not. What’s the best activity you’ve done so far this summer? See above^ What baseball team do you root for? I couldn’t care any less about baseball