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#anime next 2013
akkivee · 5 months
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saw a tweet that pointed out that kuukou jyushi and hitoya have mirroring poses in the glory or dust mv and started crying lmao 😭😭😭😭😭
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zukkaoru · 1 year
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does bones realize there's still supposed to be one more episode in s5 after this week's or should someone remind them
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ardenigh · 1 year
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needed a mid-tier OC for smth so here’s some guy who likes soup
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Month 4, day 25, Keen demanded I work on him tonight so I did :D Better defined his wings and leg armor, gave him a skirt, rotated everything so he could be nice and big on the canvas and have more room for his wings, and even gave him his emblem and name :D Yeah, he still refuses to change it. He's an asshole, your honor.
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strawberry-roro · 4 months
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got tumblr open on my phone AND laptop rn. give into temptation 🤨 my promise to u,.. 😊ill rock yuo hard 😏 WITH MY DEEP EMOTION 😧 (ugly broken sobbing ) JUST LIKE THIS, A POISON KISS‼️WANNA BE U ☆ WANNA BE U ☆
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crystalfurbs · 5 months
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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randomly picked up vol2 of given and Emotions have overtaken me.
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painlandpalace · 5 months
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dead boy detectives reading list
with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut 👻☠️🔎
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⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)
this is their first appearance!
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🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)
1. the children's crusade #1
(2. black orchid annual #1
3. animal man annual #1
4. swamp thing annual #7
5. doom patrol annual #2
6. arcana annual #1)
7. the children's crusade #2
alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter
!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.
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❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)
this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19
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🐦‍⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)
i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.
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(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)
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☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)
this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style
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👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)
these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.
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🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)
this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023
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🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)
the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love
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and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!
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i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer
have fun reading! 👻
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jeonginsleftcheek · 4 months
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Stray Kids with an S/O who is a huge horror movie fan
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pairing: ot8 x gn!reader
genre: fluff
disclaimer: this is as always just my opinion :)
a/n: as a huge horror movie fan myself, I had to write this! enjoy!🩷
Chan:
As he said before, it's not like he's scared of horror movies, he just doesn't think they're interesting to watch. But, you're interesting to him and he loves you so he will definitely try for you. He also thinks he won't get scared cause 'nothing scares him' but oh boy was he wrong. You have to promise him extra cuddles because he's not gonna be able to fall asleep that night. Will also try to dissect the plot with you after the movie, and try to find meaning in the story just so it's less scary to him.
If he was never really invested into the horror genre, you could show him the classics like The Shining(1980), The Omen(1976), The Amityville Horror (1979), Psycho(1960) and then also some newer iconic movies like Get Out(2017), The Ring(2002), Sinister(2012), Hereditary(2018) and The Conjuring(2013).
Minho:
Loves it. Loves to try and scare you while you're watching a movie together. At first, you're so happy that you can share your love for horror with your significant other. And you know he really doesn't like jumpscares, so you try to find movies that don't have many of those. But if they do and Minho predicts a jumpscare, he'll grab you at the same time it's happening, making you jump out of your skin even though you saw the movie already. You kinda start regretting watching horror movies with him because he annoys you on purpose. He thinks you're so adorable when you're mad at him, but he wont push too far and he'll always make it up with cuddles and kisses later. Overall, 10/10 experience.
I feel like he'd watch almost any horror movie cause he's a curious cat (hehe) and you'd both share your favorites.
I don't know why, but I also feel like Minho would appreciate good old silent horror movies. I just think if he's a horror fan he may enjoy seeing the roots of horror. Like The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari(1920), Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde(1920), The Phantom Carriage(1921), Nosferatu(1922) and Häxan(1922).
Changbin:
I don't think he's too scared of them but I think he doesn't really care for them too much? Though, if you have some interesting thriller or detective movies to recommend he will definitely wanna watch them with you. I think Changbin likes a movie that has an intelligent story with a plot twist. He likes to guess what's gonna happen next and when he's actually right he'll be so happy and proud. He'll keep talking about how he guessed the plot and how smart he is and how you have to give him extra cuddles now. Either way, you're cuddling and snacking the whole time while watching and it's just nice and cozy.
I think he'd enjoy thrillers like The Game(1997), Fracture(2007), The Machinist(2004), The Double(2013), Shutter Island(2010), Zodiac(2007) and 1408(2007).
Hyunjin:
Miss him with that shit cause he ain't watching it unless you manage to coax him into it. It's gonna take a lot of persuading until he finally gives in but you have to be careful in choosing the right movie for Hyunjin. He doesn't like loud noises and he doesn't really like to feel scared. He'd rather watch something for the story, especially if it's an emotional one, and he also likes character driven stories.
I think he could watch artsy or slow creepy movies that are more drama-like but have elements of horror like Pan's Labyrinth(2006), Dark Water(2005), Windchill(2007), It Follows(2014), The Eyes Of My Mother(2016), I'm Thinking Of Ending Things(2020) and Case 39(2009).
Jisung:
Okay, with this one you can go crazy. Any weird horror movie, anything kinda disturbing, deranged or unhinged will be right up his ally. As a horror and anime fan himself, he's seen some pretty weird stuff so experiment, I guess. I also feel like he'd like fun horror movies, idk how to explain but ones that are disturbing but fun at the same time, like you can't look away even though you're looking at a train wreck.
Movies like Funny Games(2007), The Ruins(2008), Suspiria(1977), The Perfection(2018), Perfect Blue(1997), May(2002), Audition(2000), Saw franchise and Terrifier series would be fun for him. Also, since he mentioned Paranormal Activity, found footage horror movies would be fun to watch with Jisung too like Creep(2014), REC(2007), Unfriended(2015) and Cloverfield(2008).
Felix:
This is just not happening unless you can bribe him with cookies, gummies or any other sweets and ofcourse many cuddles and kisses, even more than you share usually. You'll have to practically beg him to watch a horror movie with you or make some kind of compromise that you'll participate in some activity he likes more than you later. He's not gonna sleep all night if you make him watch anything too scary, actually he wouldn't even be watching that. He'd probably be hidden in your neck the whole time and even the creepy sounds coming from the tv will give him nightmares.
The only way to make him watch horror movies is if they're mixed with comedy or they're so bad that they're funny. Like the Scream franchise, The Cabin In The Woods(2011), What We Do In The Shadows(2014), The Happening(2008), Tucker & Dale vs. Evil(2010), Housebound(2014) and ofcourse zombie comedies like One Cut Of The Dead(2017) and Shaun Of The Dead(2004).
Seungmin:
Kind of indifferent towards the scares but I think he gets annoyed with plot holes and characters acting stupid. Rolls his eyes at every over used trope or cliche sentence. You actually end up laughing while watching horror movies with him because he's too cute when he's annoyed.
"How is this killer still alive? He's been run over by a truck ten times, this is stupid!" or "Okay but why is he going towards the sound? Is he that dumb, he's gonna die!"
He does like dry humor though so he'd like some black comedy movies with horror elements like American Psycho(2000), Parasite(2019), The Lobster(2015), The Menu(2022) but also if you want to annoy him on purpose (because he's cute when he gets worked up) show him slashers like the Halloween franchise, Friday the 13th franchise and Black Christmas(2019).
Jeongin:
With Jeongin, I feel like it can go either way and it definitely depends on the theme of the movie. Also, he will probably try to act brave in front of you (until he jumps at a loud sound and then gets embarassed). For some reason I don't have an exact subgenre of horror for him but for some reason I feel like he'd like newer horror movies like Us(2019), Nope(2022), Last Night In Soho(2021), His House(2020), Host(2020), The Invisible Man(2020) and Fear Street film series.
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bakanokiwami · 1 year
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TOP 10 GAMES ON FANFICTION.NET BASED ON NUMBER OF FANFICTION (1999-2022)
To make this bar chart race, all series titles in the Games Section on November 29 (or the closest date to it) of every year were copy-pasted from Wayback Machine to Google Sheets, rearranged according to number of fanworks, and then inputted to Flourish to turn into a bar chart race.
In 2000-2006, FFN used Miscellaneous RPG as a catch-all tag for all books that didn’t have their own category yet. It was then renamed to Misc. Games in 2007 before it was removed by 2008.
In 1999, fanfiction weren’t divided into sections like Anime/Manga, TV, Books, etc. yet. It was just a small list of mixed fandoms.
In 2000, Final Fantasy had 2372 fics and then dropped down to 743 the next year because separate categories were created for each Final Fantasy game instead. This category was removed from the Games section by 2006.
Originally, the fanfiction list was sorted alphabetically too, but was changed to number of fics at around early 2013.
By November 2013, FFN started abbreviating numbers above 1,000 to K, so exact numbers aren't available for series with more than 1,000 fanfiction.
This bar chart was made with the assumption that the numbers listed in the Games section are correct. I can't seem to get the same numbers for some of these categories when I go to the specific categories' page and toggle ratings, other filters, and language to All though... I'm not sure where the discrepancy is coming from. (And it’s not the crossover fic numbers that need to be added to serie’s total fics from what I’ve observed.)
Please refer to this post for more bar chart races.
Thanks for understanding and hopefully I didn’t mess up anywhere! 🙏
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vilebird · 3 months
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FUNERAL AFTER A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
a painting of a pale sky and bright blue sea crashing onto dark rocks and foaming. it's oriented the right way. - Day, by Frederick Judd Waugh
"and the man looks me in the eyes and he points to the blue-orange vault over heaven's gates and he says the face of everyone you miss is up there and i know i know i can't see them but i know" - And What Good Will Your Vanity Be When The Rapture Comes, by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib
"i've cut myself off. i can feel the place / where i used to be attached. it's raw, as when you grate / your finger. it's a shredded mess / of images. it hurts." The Door, by Margaret Atwood
"i found you / i found the door / but when i stepped through / there was no floor" I want you, by Mitski
a still from a video of a bright setting sun against a dark orange sky and dark blue sea, with the caption "don't cry" - The Green Ray (1986)
"i feel dead. / i feel as if i were the residue of a stranger's life" - The Lost Pilot, by James Tate
"the shuddering moan of blood, a song to calm the sacrificial, the loss across the river. the way a dying animal will look at you is seared into me. we tie together and all over again." - i cant remember what this one is sorru
"i am feeling numb. it's a curious feeling, and i get it all the time. my attention to the world around me disappears, and something starts to hum inside my head. far off, voices try to bump up against me, but i repel them. my ears fill up with water and i focus on the humming inside my head. / i am inside my skull. it is a little cave, and i curl up inside it. below it, my body hovers, unattached." - Madness: A Bipolar Life, by Marya Hornbacher.
"-though we're dry and waiting. part of me died here so another could go on. the body i raised-" - When They Say you Can't Go Home Again What They Mean is You Where Never There, by Marty McConnell
text: "there'll always be a few things / maybe several things/ that you're gonna find / really difficult to forgive" image: a black silhouette of a minotaur sitting on top of a pale pillar rising out of a pale maze, looking out at an orange sunset over an empty desert beyond the walls of its maze. the text is black letters on white pasted in strips over top. - Up the Wolves by the Mountain Goats and Minotauro by Jordi Garriga Mora. collage put together by @scatterghosts
"i know there are things i haven't survived." - Lord of the Butterflies, by Andrea Gibson
"it seems to me that the dead only return for love or for revenge. who did you come back for?" - White is for Witching, by Helen Oyeyemi
a painting of a bright white bird on a background split between dark blue and black - Promised Land (2013), by Michael Creese
"and with or without your support, i will continue / what im trying to say is you never know what you've been through / til you pause and cough it out" - Cough It Out by The Frontbottoms
"painting all the mirrors black / i won't see you staring back / i'm getting lost forever / searching in the broken glass / trying to ignore the past / and put myself together" - Mirrors by 8 Graves
"saint calvin told me not to worry about you / but he's got his own things to deal with / there's really just one thing we have in common: / neither of us will be missed" - Saint Bernard by Lincoln
"so many bright lights to cast a shadow / but can i speak? / well, is it hard understanding / that i'm incomplete?" - Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance
"being in a completely normal nonthreatening scenario & environment and thinking 'i have GOT to get the fuck out of here' with the intensity of some trapped neurotic prey animal" - tumblr post by user @greelin
"but you know me / what can't i conjure into hysteria / and longing? / any place is a funeral as soon as i get there. / of course i'm the disaster / but you're the one foolish enough / to learn my name." - The Next Time We Talk on Facebook, by Clementine von Radics
"if your wounds are still open, trust / they are the doors to an answer, / and walk through." - You Better Be Lightning, by Andrea Gibson
text: "what a tremendous thing to learn from" image: black text on white strips across a blue-orange gradient - i forgot this one too sory
"when the body remembers, it bucks wildly / when we try to heal, the phantom smell returns / while in the shower, you break down / while you wash your body you realise it is not your body / and at the same time, it is the only body you have" - Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head, by Warsan Shire
"that was the thing. you never got used to it, the idea of somebody being gone. just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking." - The Truth About Forever, by Sarah Dessen
"the spirit is so hurt / it don't know the / body / it / looks in / the mirror / and asks, who is it?" - On/My/Aging, by Carolyn Marie Rodgers
"could we sit together in new bodies, shoulder to tender / shoulder, / the lovely and the thorned, the bitter and the failed, / the grave to the left of us, the sea to the right?" - 8, Always a Rose, by Li-Young Lee
"the fact of the matter is / you survived, / it's what you do. / death and you / walk side by side / all sigh and scythe / you stay alive. / and you have the right / but struggle to believe. / you're still allowed / to be alive. / it feels inappropriate." - It's What You Do, by Lena Oleanderson @lena-oleanderson
a painting of a bright orange sky at sunset, sun nowhere to be seen, over a pale sea crashing onto dark rocks and foaming. it's oriented upside down. - Night, by by Frederick Judd Waugh
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puppy--jam · 9 months
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Favourite animated show: 019
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created by Alex Kurtzman, Duane Capizzi and Jeff KlineRoberto Orci, (2010-2013)
Prev || Next
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iinsertblognamee · 1 year
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hi sam
summary ― sam and y/n throughout the years
pairing ― sam kerr x reader
warning/s ― fluff
2012
yn
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liked by samanthakerr20, alannakennedy and 103 others yn hi sam
view all 21 comments
alannakennedy so anti-social ⤷ yn she begs me to come over and then sits on her phone the whole time
caitlinfoord how much for you to slap her? ⤷ yn i'd do it for free ⤷ samanthakerr20 she slapped me
samanthakerr20 and i have not been ignoring you this whole time ⤷ yn sure sure
samanthakerr20
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liked by caitlinfoord, yn and 132 others samanthakerr20 taken by yn
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yn you are most welcome
emilyvanegmond10 who's the animal next to indi? ⤷ samanthakerr20 ha ha
caitlinfoord what are you two doing up so late? ⤷ yn sorry mum
yn
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liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 129 others yn go team!
view all 33 comments
mackenziearnold aww cuties ⤷ yn not as cute as us ⤷ mackenziearnold flirt
samanthakerr20 my favourite cheerleader
caitlinfoord send this through ⤷ yn no x ⤷ caitlinfoord samanthakerr20 fix this
alannakennedy she's my cheerleader samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 funny
samanthakerr20
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liked by mackenziearnold, yn and 152 others samanthakerr20 lets gooo
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yn mackenziearnold my favourite ⤷ mackenziearnold hehe making me blush
samanthakerr20 what is this ? yn
caitlinfoord what is wrong with our faces? ⤷ yn what do you think I've been saying for months now?
emilyvanegmond10 proud
2013
yn
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liked by caitlinfoord, samanthakerr20 and 142 others yn don't leave your phone unattended around these three
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emilyvanegmond10 im innocent ⤷ yn you're literally in the photo ⤷ yn can't get more hard-hitting evidence than this
samanthakerr20 who's the cute one in the middle? ⤷ yn where?
mackenziearnold i wouldn't do that to you yn ⤷ yn i love you ⤷ samanthakerr20 hey
samanthakerr20
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liked by mackenziearnold, yn and 138 others samanthakerr20 i think she might be onto something
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yn i am a genius ⤷ samanthakerr20 i wouldn't go that far
alannakennedy hi pretty lady and samanthakerr20 ⤷ yn mwah ⤷ samanthakerr20 why does everyone flirt with you in my comments? ⤷ caitlinfoord she's hot
mackenziearnold take me next time ⤷ yn is that a date? ⤷ samanthakerr20 no
yn
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liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 105 others yn i met my celebrity crushes !!! (so jealous that sam got to stand next to them)
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alannakennedy love meeting our fans!
caitlinfoord i am so jealous ⤷ caitlinfoord how'd samanthakerr20 manage to get a photo with them? ⤷ yn she pushed me out of the way... ⤷ caitlinfoord brutal
mackenziearnold next time i want a photo with you ⤷ mackenziearnold maybe even your number ⤷ yn yes please
samanthakerr20 i hate you all ⤷ yn ouch
samanthakerr20
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liked by yn, caitlinfoord and 142 others samanthakerr20 happy birthday lovie
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caitlinfoord HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTIE yn ⤷ yn I LOVE YOU
alannakennedy happy birthday cutie ⤷ yn hehe thanksss
emilyvanegmond10 happy birthday yn !! ⤷ yn hehe thankss em
mackenziearnold did sam force you into that shirt? ⤷ yn yes... ⤷ mackenziearnold i am so sorry ⤷ mackenziearnold i have your birthday gift in my room, if you wanna join me ⤷ samanthakerr20 stop flirting with my girlfriend
2014
yn
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liked by emilyvanegmond10, caitlinfoord and 104 others yn maybe she'll this on her phone?
view all 16 comments
caitlinfoord push her
mackenziearnold push her
emilyvanegmond10 push her
alannakennedy push her
yn LATE UPDATE ⤷ yn she saw the post ⤷ yn i pushed her ⤷ yn im now locked in the bathroom ⤷ yn someone help me
samanthakerr20 you can't hide in there forever yn ⤷ yn watch me
samanthakerr20
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liked by yn, alannakennedy and 132 others samanthakerr20 why do i like you again?
view all 12 comments
yn cause im pretty ⤷ yn duh
caitlinfoord become a tattoo artist yn ⤷ yn i should aye
alannakennedy do me next ⤷ yn hehe okayyyy ⤷ samanthakerr20 for a tattoo right ⤷ samanthakerr20 right ⤷ alannakennedy if that will make you feel better about it ⤷ alannakennedy than sure
samanthakerr20
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liked by caitlinfoord, alannakennedy and 92 others samanthakerr20 just me
view all 7 comments
caitlinfoord call when you can
alannakennedy ❤️
mackenziearnold text me x
2020
samanthakerr20
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liked by emilyvanegmond10, caitlinfoord and 36,044 others samanthakerr20 keen
view all 1,937 comments
mackenziearnold blue looks good on you ⤷ samanthakerr20 making me blush ⤷ caitlinfoord red would look so much better
emilyvanegmond10 cheering!
alannakennedy so excited for you sammy
yn liked your post
yn
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liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 293 others yn spent most of the game teaching her the rules of football
view all 42 comments
yourfriend it's soccer ⤷ yn shutup
yourfriend plus i only went to watch hot girls ⤷ yourfriend sorry not sorry
samanthakerr20 hope you enjoyed the game x
alannakennedy pretty
samkerrnews
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liked by 1,289 others samkerrnews "I had an old friend in the crowd today, so I wanted to give her a good show" - Sam to some fans when asked about her celebration after her goal in today's game
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fan12 old friend... her... okay sam
fan26 jealous knowing that sam has friends that isn't me
fan38 she's so pretty !!
fan57 guys i think i found the friend ⤷ fan57 she's following like half the matildas team and sam ⤷ fan57 and she was at the game today ⤷ fan57 and sam commented on her post ⤷ fan57 her account is yn
samkerrbiggestfan
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like by 738 others samkerrbiggestfan guys, i think they used to date??
view all 52 comments
fan12 wot
fan83 that is so cute!!
fan47 gold digger, she comes running back now that sam is getting big
fan39 they seem so cute together
fan31 can we appreciate how small sam is in all of these ??
2021
samanthakerr20
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liked by yn, alannakennedy and 192,038 others samanthakerr20 hi yn
view all 3,298 comments
caitlinfoord my parents ⤷ yn hello child ⤷ samanthakerr20 i didn't agree to this
alannakennedy look at you two! ⤷ yn mwah
mackenziearnold i thought you were gonna give us a go yn ⤷ samanthakerr20 never gonna happen ⤷ yn sam don't read this ⤷ yn I'll always be yours mackenziearnold
fan82 so frickin cute!
fan63 im literally in that photo! ⤷ fan63 yn is so sweet ⤷ fan63 she got sam to take a photo with me and my friend ⤷ fan63 and literally let us eat her snacks with her during the game
zeciramusovic but when i do that to yn i get in trouble? ⤷ yn she has such double standards
elliecarpenterr my mums ⤷ yn have you been eating your fruits and veggies? ⤷ samanthakerr20 call us when you get home xx
greiten let me get you one of my jerseys for the next game? ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ yn awe that would be amazing ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ yn i could collect the whole team samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ samanthakerr20 kerr is the only name allowed on your back ⤷ yn so possessive ⤷ yn go one further, get me a ring x
2022
yn instagram story
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449 notes · View notes
jealousmartini · 2 months
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KPOP DR INTRODUCTION
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Old opening intro:
" Don't freak out! We are O.M.G! "
New opening intro:
" 6 friends and a dream! We are O.M.G "
╭╔═════════════♱═════════════╗
[ # 000 :: O.M.G's ORIGIN STORY ] small print
O.M.G, is an originally animated six-member girl group created in late 2013 by Lucia Martinez, or better known as "Keisha" from her character in O.M.G, under her youtube channel "Envious Martini" accompanied by her 5 other girlfriends for fun. They would post a lot of vlogs, grwm (get ready with me's), mukbangs, reaction/commentary, and livestreams, of course, none of these posts were ever serious. And a lot of their videos would be clipped to be used as memes that would instantly catch fire, and their faces would soon be very recognisable. In fact It wouldnt even take long for O.M.G to earn a lot of attention from Korean and Western K-POP fans when "Molly (claimed song!! playboi carti)", which is a scrap unreleased track by the way, would randomly go viral at 2.3 million views on youtube and Envious martini would begin to grow a humble following of 430K followers for their music, art and shitposts.
All music production, concepts, and choreography were created by Keisha with the help of the 5 girls behind the scenes. For example, in order for Keisha to be able to animate the choreography, the girls would make dance routines together, figuring out positions and record it for Keisha to take as reference. This also went for vocals and rapping. All girls played their parts accordingly to how they felt comfortable and were suitable to each member. And then it would be in mid-June of 2014 that the girls would decide to bring Keisha's art to life and replace the characters of O.M.G with themselves.
And in 2015, after being invited to many interviews and talk shows and entering many survival shows and competitions, it would be one competition show in particular, held by JYP which O.M.G would win, where they would officially be adopted under JYP entertainment and debut as a JYP girl group in the same year. But it wasn't until 2016 after much debate surrounding the group that O.M.G. was finally recognised and accepted as a KPOP group.
[ # 001 :: ALBUMS ]
[ disclaimer!! claimed songs are highlighted, and said songs most likely sound slightly different in my dr because of personal taste.]
Core genres :: KPOP, EDM, JERSEY CLUB, POP-ROCK, SYNTH, ELECTRO-POP, CONTEMPORARY R&B
Core aesthetics/concepts :: GIRL CRUSH, Chaotic academia core, Y2K, Girl-next-door
Themes :: Teenage years/Nostalgia, Self discovery, Love/self love, Random stuff
(2013) Mini album 1 :: Superstitious
Tracklist :: "track no.1", "track no.2", "track no.3"
(2014) Mini album 2 :: Lawfully Wedded Wives
Tracklist :: "What's your number", "Molly", "Greedy hearts", "girls never die", "heaven sent", "kinda miss you rn"
(2015) Debut Album :: Oh My Gosh
Tracklist :: "OMG", "Magnetic", "Ditto", "Lucky girl syndrome", "Dalla Dalla", "Woo! Ah!", "ETA"
Debut song :: Ditto
(2016) 1st Single :: Princess Sickness
(2017) 2nd Album :: New Region
Tracklist :: "La di da", "Supernova", "Crush", "life on Mars" , "JOYRIDE",
(2017) 3rd Album :: GINXED
Tracklist :: "Girls on wings", "LOOP", "Serotonin", "WOW", "Bitternes, the disease", "Yes, and?", "Charmed", "LOVE DIVE", "Accendio"
(2019) 4th Album :: Hopscotch
Tracklist :: "Six of em", "1 on 1", "Now what", "Super mario", "Jersey Girls", "Sir mix a lot", more to come...
(2019) 5th Album :: Joyride
Tracklist :: "Insidious", "It's my turn now", "Trance", "met her on the internet", more to come...
(2021) 6th Album :: TOTALLY MAXED OUT
Tracklist :: "I'm your magical girl", more to more...
[ # 002 :: SOLO PROJECTS ]
(2019) Debut Solo Single :: "Make way"
(2021) 1st Solo mini Collection :: Come again?
Tracklist :: "It's my turn now", "He ate my heart", "WTF?"
(2023) 4th Solo Single :: "My Chemical Romance feat. Megan the Stallion"
(2024) 5th Solo Single :: "ABCD feat. NAYEON"
(2024) 6th Solo Single :: "Boohoo"
(2024) 7th Solo Single :: "New Woman feat. CHAE KYUNG"
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[ # 000 :: BASIC INFO ]
Date of DR :: ??/04/2017
Name :: Lucia R. Martinez
korean birthname :: Hwang Chae-Kyung
adopted name :: Lovely adopted surname
nicknames :: Kyu, Kyungie, Keish/Keesh, Chae-Bae, Vivi
Stage name :: Keisha/Kyu
Title names :: THAT girl, Mother Rabbit, Millionaire Maknae, KPOP's Princess, KPOP's Darling, KPOP's first Black Idol, KPOP'S secret ACE, KPOP's curly head, KPOP's BEYONCE
Positions :: Producer, Main/lead singer, main dancer, sub rapper, visuals, maknae, center maybe??
Date of birth : 20 / 06 / 1997
Age :: 19
Hobbies :: Music production, drawing, dancing, singing, baking, gaming
Languages :: English, Korean, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Mandarin Chinese
Ethnicity :: half puerto rican, half korean
Representative animal :: red panda / puppy / Bunny (I can't choose rn guys)
Representative colour :: orange
Representative dessert :: cookies and brownies
Fanbase name :: charmings
Training period :: ?? months
Company :: JYP
Group representative colours :: Blue and Pink
Brands :: Vivian Westwood, Diesel, Juicy Couture
[ # 001 :: FUN FACTS ]
She is older than Jungkook by 4 months. He knows this but still chooses to not use honorifics sometimes.
She is close friends with NAYEON, Sana, Chaeyoung, YOONGI, JIMIN, JUNGKOOK, Namjoon, J-hope, TAEHYUNG, Jin, BANGCHAN, Felix, Hyunjin, YUNA, Jennie, Jisoo, Tsuyu, WONYOUNG, YUJIN,
No one knows this yet but she has a crush on 6 of the idols listed and 2 of the highlighted names are part of the six, the other 4 are not
The red panda is her animal representative because there was a video circulating of her dressed up as a mascot for her highschool as a red panda and break-dancing
Speaking of dancing, she has mastered multiple dancing styles like house, vogue, street dancing, belly dancing, Jazz, Latin, Club, Jersey and Freestyle. She's got her own signature groove 💃🏾 🕺
She is the first kpop idol to be the ambassador for Vivian Westwood, Juicy Couture and Diesel
[ # 002 :: CONTROVERSIES AND SCANDALS ]
Next post...
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bengiyo · 7 months
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Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.
Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.
For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.
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I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.
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I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).
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After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.
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I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.
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I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"
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I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.
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From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.
There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.
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That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.
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I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.
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More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!
I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!
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justagalwhowrites · 10 months
Text
Yearling - Ch. 22: Storm
A spring snowstorm hits Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-21 found on Tumblr here.
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PLEASE PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS, THIS IS A ROUGH CHAPTER!!!
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Past sexual assault vaguely described; animal death; PTSD response; sexual assault of a minor mentioned in a vulgar way (not seen); possible child death. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 
Length: 8.6k 
AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Early May, 2013 
You were outside when the woman rode up. 
Your home was well hidden and you’d only seen five people since Mark had left almost a year earlier, each of them making their way into your land and telling you that he’d sent them your way. They were all kind, they were all vulnerable and they were all loaded down with things you would need. Flashlight batteries and bulbs, sugar and salt, rubbing alcohol and petroleum jelly. Thread, fabric, pain killers, antibiotics, guitar strings. One woman had been sent with a snack sized bag of Lays that were still sealed and a bottle of whiskey. That had made you smile, the clearest sign that Mark hadn’t forgotten about you. 
All of the others had arrived on foot, seemingly with a good idea of where to go, mostly alone but two women has traveled together. The timing wasn’t predictable but you at least knew what you could expect when someone Mark sent your way came into your territory.
This woman was different. 
You heard her before you saw her, the thundering footfalls and heavy breathing of her horse loud against the quiet of the forest. You didn’t have time to fortify your position, didn’t even have time to go get more ammo. So you stood your ground and raised your rifle, heart pounding, when she burst through the tree line and into the clearing that you called home. 
“Back the fuck up!” You yelled, gun raised. The horse all but skidded to a stop, the woman on its back clutching a bundle of blankets to her chest with one hand, yanking back on the reins with the other.  
“Easy!” She said dropping the reins and putting her hand up. She still clung to the bundle. You recognized the horse. It was Perseus, it was Mark’s horse. “Are you Texas?” 
“Who’s askin’?” Your accent was thick, fear a knot in your stomach as you looked Perseus over. You didn’t see any signs of injury.
She kept her hand up. 
“You knew Mark?” She asked. She had an accent, too. Georgia southern, like Mark. “Brown hair, criminally long eyelashes?” 
You narrowed your eyes at her and tightened your grip on your weapon. 
“He knew you,” she kept going. “He… he told me all about you. Doubt he ever mentioned me but… he talked about you all the time. He loved you and I think you loved him, too.” 
You swallowed past the growing lump in your throat and tightness in your chest. She kept using past tense. 
“What about him?” You asked, keeping your gun raised but your grip loosened. 
“He sent me to find you. We need your help,” she said, reaching and tugging her pant leg up just enough to reveal a festering bite mark on her ankle. “And I don’t have much time.” 
***
Early April, 2027
“I can’t believe you’ve been calling her a fucking baby deer this whole goddamn time!” 
Ellie was perched on Shimmer’s stall door, watching as you and Joel set out blankets for the horses. It has been snowing all day and winds were picking up. You were worried a blizzard was moving in and you wanted help getting the horses set to ride out the storm if you couldn’t get to them for a day or two. 
Joel was happy to assist, especially since he had come back from patrol a week earlier with a copy of Bambi on VHS. Ellie hadn’t been able to calm down about it since and it reminded him of the giddiness she had when she started in on the puns the first time, almost four years ago now. He’d have done anything to get that back and, it turned out, all it took was an old Disney movie and a funny nickname.  
“Thank you,” you laughed, almost smug. “Don’t talk for a few minutes and get saddled with the name of a cartoon deer for life…” 
“Hey, needed somethin’ to call you and you try coming up with anything else after lookin’ at you with those big eyes,” Joel said, defensive but smiling. “Not my fault it stuck.” 
“Yeah well Bambi here was gonna kick your ass the first time we met,” she replied. “Big bad contractor was gonna get beat up by a fucking cartoon deer from a kid’s movie…”
Joel tried to keep from laughing and raised his eyebrows at you. 
“OK that’s an exaggeration,” you said. “All I was going to do…” 
“I asked if you were going to try to kick his ass,” Ellie cut you off. “And you said ‘no try about it, I was gonna kick his ass.’” 
“And what did I do to deserve that?” Joel asked, teasing. 
“Well, Ellie tried to warn me about you…” You began, but Ellie cut you off. 
“Should have listened….” 
You glared at her. 
“But she wasn’t very clear,” you said. “And if some grown man was messing around with a girl, I was going to kick his ass. Turns out I didn’t have a reason to.” 
Joel laughed. 
“Glad you spared me.” 
You laughed before planting your hands on your hips, looking around the stable for a moment, taking stock. 
“Think things are just about as good as they’re gonna get,” you sighed. “But I think they should be good for a day until we can dig out and get back over here. Just wait for them to finish dinner, put more feed in after…” 
“Think there’s any chance of the patrols making it back tonight?” Ellie asked, her eyebrows drawn together. 
“Probably not,” Joel said. “They got places to ride out shit like storms if they get stuck, they’ll be alright.” 
“Still,” you said. “Had a group that was due back tonight, Jackson was probably the closest point to ride it out. Think I’ll hang out for a bit yet…” 
“I’ll go get us something to eat,” Joel said. “We’ll wait with you, head home after, settle in to ride out the storm.” 
“Can we stay at Bambi’s?” Ellie asked. “She’s got a way better stereo.” 
You smiled. 
“Sure, kid,” you said. “On you to get Joel to dance party, though.” 
“Dance party?” He frowned. 
“You wouldn’t get it, Old Man,” she replied, the hint of a smirk on her face. 
“Don’t get a lot of things about you, Baby Girl,” he said before stretching his back a bit. “Alright, back in a few. Try not to find too much trouble while I’m gone.” 
You and Ellie both rolled your eyes and he couldn’t help but smile as he made his way through the few inches of snow that had already fallen, heading for the mess hall. 
One of Joel’s favorite parts of being back on good terms with Ellie was getting to see your relationship with her. Even before she was mad at him, he wanted her to have someone like you in her life. Another woman she could talk to, look up to, guide her in ways he didn’t fully understand. She needed that and he hadn’t been able to see it happening from the distance she was holding him at before. 
He knew the two of you were close, he just hadn’t realized how close until the last few months. The two of you felt more like family than Sarah’s mother ever had and he treasured it, treasured that you seemed to love his daughter almost as much as he did. 
The mess hall was getting ready for a storm, too, putting together baskets of food to send home with Jackson residents so people wouldn’t be struggling through the storm for their meals over the next few days. He gathered enough to last the three of you for a bit plus some sandwiches for tonight before he started back toward the stables, the wind more forceful and biting than when he’d left just half an hour earlier. 
As he got closer, he noticed tracks in the snow, hoof prints leading to the stables. A patrol had made it back and, for half a moment, he was a little disappointed. If the storm wasn’t as bad as they were expecting and the patrol was able to make it back to Jackson without losing much time, he might not get to spend the day with you and Ellie tomorrow. Ever since the storm started moving in that afternoon he’d been excited for the chance to have some unexpected time just the three of you - almost like playing hooky but with permission. 
But he knew he should just be happy the patrol made it home through the weather, hopefully with all the people intact. Which, he was. But damn if he didn’t love an excuse to spend time with you. 
He opened the door to the stable and quickly moved shut it behind him, expecting to find you taking saddles off horses. Instead, you damn near slammed into him, your eyes wide, not saying a word as you shoved the door open and took off into the snow. 
“Bambi?” He called after you. You didn’t even slow down. He jogged over to Ellie’s perch and set the food down, a tightness starting to grip his chest. 
“No idea,” Ellie said, not waiting for him to ask. “Patrol came back, said something about some people they found outside… She just said ‘savvy’ and took the fuck off.” 
Joel looked around for a second. Julie was standing next to her horse, a confused look on her face. 
“You found people outside?” Joel asked. 
“Yeah,” she said, still staring at where you’d run out. “Yeah, a group of five. We brought them back…” 
“Where are they?” He asked, fighting to keep his voice calm. 
“The clinic…” 
“Ellie,” he said quickly. “Stay put here, alright? I’m gone more than half an hour, head on home. Mine or hers, don’t want you in that little place for this storm, OK Baby Girl?” 
“Yeah,” she nodded, not giving him shit. She looked concerned, too. “Yeah, OK.” 
He gave her a stiff nod and went out into the building storm, following your footprints to the clinic. 
Joel heard you there before he saw you, your voice pleading and desperate as he shut the wind and snow outside. 
“Anything,” you were begging. “Anything at all, a name, an age, hair color, anything, please…” 
“I’m sorry,” a man whose voice Joel didn’t recognize said. “She did say much before she died, just that there was a girl…” 
Joel found you then, in the same room he’d been in when he’d come in from patrol with a bullet in his leg. 
“Where?” You asked. “Where’d you find her? Did she say where she escaped from, how far she’d come?” 
“We picked them up about 15 miles north east of here,” Fred, one of the men on patrol, said. “Just south of Kelly.” 
“Think she came from a camp ground near there,” the other man said. He was skinny, a patch of frostbite on his nose. “Said something about cabins…” 
“Right,” you nodded. “Right, thank you.” 
You turned and ran smack into Joel’s chest. You barely seemed to register it, hardly even glancing at him before ducking around him and running out the door again. 
“She was asking about a girl,” Fred said quickly. “These folks here, had a woman with them before we found them. Said she escaped raiders, that the raiders had a teenaged girl…” 
“Fuck,” Joel muttered under his breath before looking at the other man. “Thanks, Fred.” 
He didn’t wait for a response, just ducking back into the snow, the wind starting to howl now, running to catch up with you. 
You were on your porch by the time he reached you. You didn’t even seem to be aware that he was following you, you were too focused on something else entirely. You didn’t even bother to take your boots off when you got in the house, just ripping the coat closet inside your door open and pulling out your patrol materials as Joel let himself in. 
“Bambi,” he said gently. You looked up at him for a moment, like you were surprised to find him there before you focused back on your pack, shoving in blankets and flashlights. “Come on, honey…” 
“They’ve got her, Joel,” you said, barely glancing at him before you grabbed your bag and half walked, half ran to your kitchen. “Can’t just leave her out there with them, I…” 
“There’s a snowstorm, Sweetheart,” he said gently, trying to keep his voice calm. “It’s not safe…” 
“Doesn’t matter,” you started stuffing food in your bag, no rhyme or reason to it that Joel could see. 
“Yes, it does,” he said, trying to take the pack from you. You yanked it back, a vicious look in your eyes before you ducked around him. “Baby.” 
“I’m not leaving her to those… those…” your voice cracked. “Those fucking monsters, I’m not, I can’t just leave her, I can’t just abandon her, I…” 
“You getting yourself killed won’t help anybody.” It was getting harder and harder to keep the panic from his voice. He’d never seen you quite like this. Close to it when out on patrol and there were signs that raiders were near, signs of their violence, but he’d always been able to pull you back from the edge. He wasn’t sure he could this time. “Bambi, you can’t…” 
“Yes, I can.” 
You moved around him and he followed. 
“I know you want to help people,” he said. “But you can’t help anyone if you get yourself killed. I know you want to save everyone from going through what you went through…” 
“That’s not what this is,” you said, turning in circles like you were looking for something but you couldn’t place it. 
“Then what is it?” He caught you by the shoulders and looked at you, your eyes wide and panicky. “Tell me, help me understand. When the weather clears, I can go with you and…” 
“It’ll be too late then,” you shook your head, tears starting to swell. “As soon as the snow stops they’re going to leave and it’ll be too late, I’ll never catch them and they’ll still have her and I can’t lose her again, Joel, I can’t, I can’t take it, I can’t do this again, please, don’t ask me to do this again I…” 
“Do what?” He asked, pleading, his grip on you firm. “Let me help you, Baby, please, tell me what’s going on. Who…” 
“My daughter!” You said quickly. Joel froze, his heart pounding against his ribs. “I have a daughter, I have a daughter and if it’s her I… I can’t lose her again, I can’t. I have to go get her…” 
“You…” he breathed. 
“My daughter,” you said, eyes wide. “Please, Joel. I think they have my daughter.” 
*** 
Early May, 2013
You lowered your rifle enough that it was no longer an immediate threat and she relaxed a little, letting the pant leg fall over her ankle again. There was a small cry from the bundle in her arms and you frowned, looking between her and it. She carefully lowered it from her chest, looking down to it. 
“Hey, you’re OK sweet girl,” she said gently. “It’s alright…” 
The bundle fussed but didn’t cry again and she looked back to you. 
“Can I get down?” She asked. “Got a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. Figure I’ve got an hour left. Two, tops.” 
“Yeah,” you nodded quickly. “Yeah, OK. Let’s talk.” 
You didn’t invite her in, not wanting to deal with the potential hazard of her turning into one of those inhuman things in your house. She didn’t seem to mind. 
Her name, she said, was Laurel. She was about your age, you guessed, with her dark hair in two thick braids, deep brown eyes and rich umber skin. 
“This is Savannah,” she said, tilting the bundle so you could see inside. “She’s nine months old…” 
You looked at her, awed for a moment. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen a baby and you resisted the urge to reach out and run your finger over her chubby, impossibly soft looking cheek. She blinked at you, her brown eyes oddly keen and exacting for a baby, her lashes almost obscenely long. You frowned, leaning in to look closer at her. You knew those impossibly soft, brown eyes set in her lovely russet-hued face. 
“She’s Mark’s,” you said softly, looking up at Laurel. “She’s Mark’s, isn’t she?” 
“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, she is.” 
“I…” your voice broke. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know he had someone, I wouldn’t have…” 
“It wasn’t like that,” she cut you off. “My husband died about three years ago. He got hurt, it got infected… Not even the fucking apocalypse kind, just the kind that you can clear up with penicillin if you can find the damn stuff. Mark… we were both lonely, looking for something to make it better for a while. It just kind of happened. She just kind of happened.” 
The baby cooed, stretching and reaching for you. 
“Where is he?” You asked, looking back at Laurel. “What happened to him?” 
“Our settlement got overrun,” she said, her voice suddenly thick. “They came out of nowhere and just… He tried. He tried so, so hard, you should know that he tried. But he got bit, on the neck, trying to protect us and… He told me where to find you. That’s what he did with the last few minutes of his life, he told me where to find you, he told me that you’d take care of us, make sure we survived. He told me to tell you that he loved you and that he wanted to come back to you…” 
You found yourself nodding, tears on your cheeks as you looked into the eyes of the man you loved in his child’s face. 
“He died before I got bit,” she said. “He died thinking we had a shot. I kept her safe, though. She was safe…” 
“You did good,” you said, throat tight. “You really did…” 
“I need your help,” she said before taking a deep breath. 
“Course,” you nodded, tearing your eyes away from Mark’s daughter to look at her. “What…” 
“I need you to take Savannah.” 
You just blinked at her for a moment. “I…” you broke off, shaking your head. “What? I… no, no, I’m not who you want, I don’t…” 
“I don’t have a lot of options,” she said. “I don’t have time to find another person let alone someone I know I can trust. And I know I can trust you with her. Mark loved you and you loved him, you won’t let anything happen to his child.” 
“But I…” you looked back at the baby in her arms. “I don’t know anything about kids, I wouldn’t even know where to start, I don’t…” 
“Please,” she said, her voice breaking. “He wanted you to take care of her. I think… I think part of him knew it would just be her. That’s why he sent me here, to you. He wanted it to be you. He trusted you and he loved you, he wanted her to be with you. Please, I’ll beg if I have to, just please take care of her. Please.” 
You looked at the baby in her arms, at Mark’s eyes with the impossibly long lashes. 
“OK.” 
Laurel held her daughter while she told you everything. You paused her to take some notes when you thought of it, things like a recipe for formula when she refused solids and what to do when she started crying but wouldn’t stop. She told you how much her daughter loved to gnaw on bits of apple and loved to bounce in time to her father’s humming and her birthday - July 20. 
She started twitching more in what felt like no time at all, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She pressed her lips to her daughter’s forehead. 
“You’ll be OK sweet girl,” she whispered to her. “You’ll be OK. Mama loves you, OK? Try to remember that for me, OK?” She looked up at you. “Will… will you tell her about me? About Mark?” 
You nodded, the pinch of tears tight in your throat. 
“Of course,” you said. “I’ll make sure she knows everything you did for her. She’ll know about you.” 
She nodded, passing you her child. Your child. 
“I’d like to do it myself,” she said, nodding to the gun at your hip. “If that’s OK.” 
“Yeah,” you nodded, adjusting Savannah in your arms and handing Laurel the gun. She took it and walked backwards away from you, her eyes on her daughter. Your daughter. 
“I’ll close my eyes just before,” she said once she was about 20 feet away, still looking at her baby. “Can you cover hers for me? I want to look at her as long as I can but I don’t want her to see…” 
“Yeah,” you nodded again. “I can do that.” 
“Thank you,” she smiled tightly, actually looking at you this time. “I… I know this isn’t what you planned but… It’s easier, knowing she has someone.” 
“I’ll take care of her,” you said. “I’ll love her. I’ll take care of her.” 
Laurel just nodded and looked back at her child, watching her for a moment, the gun in her shaky hand. 
“Mama loves you,” she said softly, raising the gun to her temple and closing her eyes. You quickly pressed Savannah’s face into your chest and held her close. 
Everything was eerily silent for a moment, the longest second of your life, before there was the crack of the gun and the sharp cry of the baby who was all you had left in the world. 
August 2018 
“You have learn this, Savvy.”
“I don’t want to shoot them, Mama,” your daughter looked over at you from her spot on the downed tree, looking at the infected more than 100 feet away through a scope. 
“These are the easiest things you’ll ever have to shoot,” you said gently. “It’s nice to shoot them, you’re making it so they’re not hurting anymore…” 
“But they’re people.” 
Her eyes - her father’s eyes - were so wide. The springs of her curls were bundled back away from her face, a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. 
“I know they look like people,” you ran your hand over the crown of her small head. “But they’re not, not anymore. They’re things that are hurting and the only way to help them is to shoot them. And shooting them keeps you and me safe. Now, you can do this. Do it just like you do at home with the targets.” 
She looked at you, her big eyes watery, before obeying and turning back toward the gun. You watched as she lined up her shot and took a deep breath, exhaling before firing. 
Her shot went a little wide, catching the infected on the arm. It whipped its head around and shrieked before running for you. 
“Mama!” 
“It’s alright,” you said, looking down your own rifle for a moment before firing and hitting it in the head. It dropped like a stone. “See? All OK. This is why we learn.”
“I’m sorry,” her voice was thick and trembling and you looked over at her, tears streaming down her face. “I tried hard, I promise…” she hiccuped and gulped in air and you set your rifle down and sat up before pulling her against you. 
“You did so good,” you kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be sorry, Honey, you did so good, I’m so proud of you.”
“But I didn’t kill them,” she pulled her face from your chest, her lower lip quivering. “I did it wrong and…” 
“You’ll get better,” you said gently. “No one is perfect when they’re learning. This is just to make sure that you’re safe. I’ll always protect you but it’s good for you to know how to protect yourself, too. This is just in case, OK?” 
She nodded against you and you held her until she stopped crying. When she calmed, you ran your thumbs over her cheeks and kissed her small forehead, wishing you didn’t have to teach her these things. If you could just shelter her away from the world - from infected, from the people who has found power because of the infected - then it would all be OK. She wouldn’t need to know how to kill. It could be just you and her, growing things and raising horses and reading by the fire, until the end of time. 
But the world, you knew, was not so kind. 
“Want to go pick out some books?” You asked gently. She nodded and the two of you got up and you took her hand, leading her to the library. 
In the more than five years you’d had Savvy, she had become your entire world. Everything you did, you did for her. To keep her safe, to make her happy, to teach her. You’d known nothing about children when Laurel brought her to you. The first night, you’d held her close while you both cried and you prayed to a god you’d never been sure existed that you would do right by her.
Loving her came easy. Living for her was harder. 
But you fell into it eventually, guiding her through the world as it was now as best you could. If you found a family near your territory, you’d watch them from afar and, once you knew it was safe, bring Savvy to introduce her, give her a chance to know someone besides yourself. You taught her how to read, how to count, how to skin a rabbit. You had no idea if it was the right thing but you hoped it would be enough that, when she was older, she would survive if something happened to you. That’s all that mattered, that she would be OK. 
“Mama?” She asked, setting her picture book on her legs as you browsed the shelves for more books on home schooling and small scale farming.
“Yes baby?” 
“What else would I need to shoot?” 
You frowned and looked down at her, your hand on the spine of a book. 
“What?” 
“Well, you said that the not people are the easiest things I would have to shoot,” she said, face serious. “So… what else would I have to shoot?” 
“I don’t think you’ll like shooting animals much,” you said and she crinkled her nose. “But you’ll probably have to at some point.” 
“But I like animals,” she pouted. 
You smiled. 
“I know you do.” 
“What else?” She asked, still peering up at you. 
You sighed. 
“Sometimes…” you turned your attention back to the books. “Sometimes you’ll have to shoot a person.” 
Her wide eyes somehow grew wider, a look of horror on her face. 
“But…” her little voice broke. “But I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know,” you said quietly. “But sometimes we have to.” 
“Why?” 
“Because,” you looked down to her. “There are things in this world that want to hurt you and you need to know how to hurt them first.” 
“But you’re here,” she said. She was so young, so small. You knelt, getting down on her level. 
“You still need to know how,” you said. “I will do everything I can to protect you but I might fail. You need to know how to destroy them before they destroy you because they will. They will destroy every part of you they can touch if they have the chance. Don’t give them the chance.” 
She considered that for a moment, her face very serious. 
“Does it hurt?” She asked, looking up at you. 
You reached down at cupped her cheek.
“Yes,” you said quietly. “Yes, it does.” 
Her eyes were wide and soft and deep and you wanted, more than anything, to keep her safe. 
“But I’ll take care of you,” you said, stroking her soft skin with your thumb. “For as long as I’m alive, I’ll take care of you.” 
September 15, 2023 
“Mom?” 
You looked up from where you were working at skinning a rabbit. There was a glow in your front window, a hold over from when Savvy was even younger and you had to leave to go check on the horses before bed. She got scared one night when she woke up and found that you weren’t in the dark cabin. Ever since, you always left the electric lantern on when you left in the evenings, even though she said she didn’t need it anymore. It was just enough to work by as the sun got lower outside. 
“Yeah?”
“What…” she paused, an odd look on her face. “What’s in Gattling’s mouth?” 
The dog was hovering behind Savvy’s legs and you leaned around from your position on a tree stump, trying to get a look at her. You frowned, not able to make it out in the low light, and set the rabbit and your knife down, wiping your hands on a rag tucked into your belt.  
Gattling’s tail wagged as you approached, her head low and you squatted down to be on her level, angling her head toward the house so her muzzle wasn’t in shadow. Her snout was red with blood, something dangling from her jaws. You held your palm out flat. 
“Gattling, release.” 
She obediently dropped it in your hand with a sickening splat. It took you a moment to realize that it was a pinky finger. 
“Mom?” Savvy’s voice was shaky. You dropped the finger where you stood and heard the crack of a gunshot in the distance. 
“We have to move.” 
You grabbed her arm and pulled her in the house, Gattling trotting close behind. 
“What’s happening?” She asked, looking back over her shoulder. “Mom, what’s…” 
“Get packed,” you said, grabbing a pack and thrusting at her before running to the dresser in the corner. You shrugged out of the shirt you were wearing and traded it for the one you’d worn when you fled the ranch 20 years earlier, not willing to leave Justin’s shirt behind. “Some clothes, first aid, batteries, flashlights, all three kinds of ammo, sleeping bag.” 
You went to the kitchen and started grabbing things you’d already preserved. Jerky, dried fruit, some seeds. Most of the canteens in the house were full and you grabbed a few. You grabbed the pistol, the shot gun and the rifles. You set it all out on the table and looked over to your daughter who was obediently filling her pack. 
“Leave room for this,” you said, taking your rifle from the pile. “Meet me by the horses as quick as you can. Turn out the lantern on your way.” 
She just nodded. You sprinted for the cabin you’d turned into a stable. Nike was huffed at your arrival and you grabbed her tack and saddled her up as quickly as you could, making sure there was room to add basic supplies. Savvy ran into the pen just as you led Nike and Perseus into the middle of it. 
“Long guns,” you held your hand out as you tightened down straps of the saddle. She handed you the shotgun first and you tucked it into a strap on the saddle. The rifle came next. You stepped back and looked at it for a moment. 
“OK,” you said turning back to your daughter, looking her over. She’d gotten so tall, she was only a few inches shorter than you now, you didn’t even need to stoop to press a kiss to her forehead. “Want you to head north, understand?” 
“What are you talking about?” She asked as you took her arm and guided her alongside the horse. “Mom, you’re coming with me, I’ll just follow you, I’ll just…” 
“I’ll get to you when I can,” you said. She shook her head, her eyes wide. 
“No,” she grabbed your arms. “No, you can’t, you can’t just leave me, you can’t…” 
“I’m not leaving you,” you held her face in your hands, looked into her eyes. She had her father’s eyes. “I’m not, OK? I will find you. I will always find you, sweet girl, I will always protect you. That’s what I’m going to do, OK? I’m going to buy you time. Cut north, stick to the woods, off the trails. You know things here. Go out of the way, work your way around the long way to the library. Meet me there in three days, it should be safe…” 
“Three days?” She gaped at you. “No, I can’t…” 
“Yes you can,” you said, firm enough that you believed it, too. “Yes you can. I’ve taught you everything I know, you can make it. It’s just three days, you’ll be OK. You’re so strong and you’re so smart, you’re going to be OK. I will always find you. I will always protect you, I will always keep you safe. I promise.” 
You pulled her tight to you and kissed her temple. 
“I love you,” you breathed, pulling back to look at her face. “More than anything, I love you. I’ll see you soon, OK? Ride through the night, switch horses at dawn and keep riding until tomorrow night. You can do this.” 
“I can do this,” she repeated. “I can do this.” 
You looked to the dog at your feet, her tail wagging and her muzzle bloody. 
“Gattling,” you said. Her ears perked up. “Savvy.” 
She immediately went to your daughter’s side, ready to protect her. 
You boosted Savvy onto the horse, taking a final look at her. 
“Just three days, right Mom?” 
You swallowed, hard, before nodding. 
“Just three days. Be safe. Be smart. I’ll see you soon.” 
You didn’t have the luxury of watching her ride away. The second her, Nike and Perseus were clear of the paddock, you ran to saddle up Hercules. 
You needed to buy her time. 
October 13, 2023
You were still paying for your escape. 
It was hard to keep track of time. You were with Mitchum and his crew about two weeks the first time. That’s what it felt like, anyway. You were pretty sure it had been about half as long since they got you back. It was hard to tell. You were so panicked, in so much pain that time stretched and expanded and every hour that passed was an hour that you were separated from your daughter and you needed to get to her, you had to. She was just 11 years old and the world was not kind to girls. You’d taught her everything you knew but you had to get back to her, you didn’t want her to have to hurt and kill. 
When you’d escaped, you’d done nothing but search for her. You went to the library, tried to track where you thought she’d have come from but it had been weeks. There was no trail left to follow. You were about to return to your cabin to check there when Mitchum’s men found you again. You still had no idea where Savvy was.
You’d promised to take care of her. You’d promised her, you’d promised the woman who had given her to you a decade earlier. You’d promised. 
You had to get back to her. 
They’d chained you to a wall this time but you thought you might be able to pull the bolt out of the wood if you worked at it diligently enough. You pried at it until your nails were bloody and you kept going. You were covered in blood already, anyway. It was sticky on your skin where it had flowed from the cut on your head where your face had been slammed into the floor as one of Mitchum’s men had taken you from behind while you were on your knees. It had been a steady drip from inside of you since the first time Mitchum forced himself on you when you were brought back, whatever injury there was not given time to heal. The raiders seemed to like it when you bled on them. It even coated part of your arm where one man had cut you when trying to control you, not happy with your lack of compliance as he hurt you. A little more as you tried to pry yourself free wasn’t going to draw attention. 
The door slammed into the wall without warning and you jumped, shocking back from the wall. The man standing there smirked, stalking over to you. 
“Getting ideas are we?” He sneered. He didn’t wait for a response. “Thought you’d have learned your fuckin’ lesson last time…” 
He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the cuff that held you before pulling you roughly to your feet. He didn’t give you any clothes, he just pulled you, naked, out to the circle of men around a campfire. Your heart sped up, tried to count them. You weren’t sure you could survive being at the mercy of the more than two dozen who were here, not at one time. He threw you into the dirt and you caught yourself on your hands and knees. 
“Here’s my favorite little bitch,” Mitchum stalked forward. You sat back on your heels and crossed your arms over your chest, trying to protect what you could. “How have you liked being back home? We keepin’ you entertained?” 
A few of the men laughed. You swallowed and peered around, hoping for something you could take advantage of, just one open space, one unguarded moment and you could escape. For good this time. You could do that, you could escape and figure out where you were and then find Savvy. 
“Figured out what you were hidin’ back in that homestead of yours,” Mitchum said, a smirk on his voice. You looked at him, eyes wide. Your stomach dropped and he laughed. “Didn’t think you’d like that. Can see why you were workin’ so hard now, she sure was a pretty little thing.” 
“Fuck you,” you spat. 
He laughed. 
“That can be arranged,” he said. “Fucked that girl of yours, too. Broke her in real good…” 
You were on your feet before you fully realized what you were doing, running for him. You grabbed at his face, snarling and grasping as you sank your bloody nails into his skin. You dug deep and he punched you in the stomach as one of his men pulled you back, forcing you to the ground. 
“I’ll kill you!” You shrieked. “I’ll fucking kill you!” 
He stalked forward and punched you across the face before grabbing a fistful of your hair, forcing you to look at him. You felt blood on your teeth and you wished it was his. You wanted to rip his throat out like an animal, wanted to claw and bite at him until he succumbed. 
“I wanted to keep the both of you,” he said, holding your hair tight in his fist, fingers against your scalp. “Figured you’d be a lot more fun with her life on the line. Too bad she couldn’t take it.” 
The world tilted on its axis. You hadn’t eaten in days but you still felt like you were going to be sick, like everything inside of you, the blood and the viscera that made you a living being, was going to come up. 
“Oh yeah,” he smirked. “Should’ve probably been more careful with her but it was just so much fun to hear her beg for her mama…” 
“You’re a liar,” you hissed through clenched teeth. “A fucking liar!” 
He kept his eyes on you and he whistled before forcing you to look at the fire. Two men stepped forward, each carrying burlap sacks. One was much larger than the other. 
“Show ‘er.” 
The first man, the one with the large bag, turned it over. A horse head fell out of the sack, landing on the dirt with a wet thud. It took you a second to recognize her, separate from her body, but it was Nike. You screamed, the sound clawing its way up from your chest and you instinctively reached for her only to have Mitchum rip you back by your hair. 
“Wanna see what’s in the other bag?” He pressed his mouth against your ear as you sobbed. “Decided to keep her head, thought I should pass it around, see if it’s as good cold…” 
You strained in his hold, trying to shake your head. You couldn’t get yourself to form words. There was the distinct feeling that someone was cracking you open, prying apart your chest and pulling your organs out one by one. They didn’t belong to you anymore. You weren’t sure they ever really had, they were hers and she was gone.
You couldn’t see her like that, see just her head, like she had only ever been parts and pieces to begin with.  
“Please,” you managed through the gasping, racking sobs. “Please, please, no, I’ll do whatever you want, whatever…” 
Mitchum smiled. 
“Good.” 
The pain of the brand barely registered in your mind, even as your body jerked with it. Everything seemed dulled and numbed. Time slowed and stretched and, for a while, the only thing that your body seemed to have space for was the agonizing pain of losing something you were never built to lose. 
It was a year before there was room for anything else. 
Early April, 2027 
“Bambi…” 
“Move, Joel.” 
You shoved past him. You’d need a sleeping bag, two sleeping bags, actually. An extra pair of boots, she probably didn’t have those. She’d have out grown the last ones she had, she would be 14 now, she’d be even taller, have bigger feet, longer legs. They didn’t give you clothes when you were with them, you doubted it was different for her. 
First aid, that you’d need. 
“You can’t do this, Baby,” he was following close behind you. 
“Yes, I can.” 
“You’re gonna get yourself fucking killed,” there was a strain in his voice. “Who knows what you’ll be walking into out there, how many there’ll be, how armed they’ll fuckin’ be, what they’ll do to you if they get your hands on you…” 
“I have to try.” 
You didn’t have a gun here. You’d have to get one, you were pretty sure Maria would give you one if you told her why you needed it. 
“Just…” Joel sounded desperate. “Just wait, until after the storm, just wait, I’ll go with you, we’ll look, we’ll…” 
“It’ll be too late,” you shook your head. “Someone got out, as soon as the weather clears they’re gonna move and we’ll lose them, it has to be now.” 
“Have you seen how shit’s pickin’ up out there?” He came around in front of you, taking you by the shoulders. “Baby, the wind is gonna knock you off your damn horse, you can’t help her if you’re dead, please, I’m begging you, please…” 
“What would you do?” You asked. “If it was Sarah, if it was Ellie. Would you sit here and wait? Or would you go get her?” 
He froze, looking at you. 
Your knife. You’d need your knife. You went to get it but Joel stopped you, his hand on your elbow. 
“Bambi,” he said quietly. “You can’t know that it’s her.” 
“It could be,” you said. “Joel…” 
“It’s been years,” he whispered. “Baby, it’s been years, there’s… I’m so sorry but she’s… They wouldn’t have let her live this long, she couldn’t have survived this long, she’s gone, I’m so sorry…” 
You shook your head. You had that feeling again, like the one you had that day around the fire when Mitchum had told you he’d killed her, the feeling that your whole self was being ripped apart. 
But you’d never seen that she was gone. You never held her body, never saw the life leave her eyes. You didn’t know that she was gone. She could be alive. She could. 
“You don’t know that,” you said, your voice thick. “You don’t…” 
“You barley survived,” he said softly. “You, the strongest fucking person I know and you damn near died. A teenager couldn’t have survived that, Baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry and…” 
“No,” you snapped, swallowing back your tears. “You don’t know, you don’t know them like I do…” 
“I do,” he cut you off. “Sweetheart, I am begging you, stay here. Please. Don’t get yourself killed, if it’s her we will find her as soon as it’s safe…” 
“You don’t know!” You pushed him back. He was costing you time, time you didn’t have. Savvy was out there, she was out there alone and afraid and you were going to find her. “Let me go, Joel. I know them, you don’t understand them, you can’t understand them…” 
“I understand them because I used to be one of them!” 
You froze. He was watching you, his eyes wide and desperate as he panted for breath. Your heart was pounding, there was a high pitched whine in your ears, something like a siren or when you first came to Jackson and could hear the electricity in the walls. 
“What?” You whispered, suddenly keenly aware of how close he was to you, of his hand on you. You could feel the outline of his fingers, each individual callus distinct against your skin. 
“I used to be one,” he said softly. “A… a raider, I used to be one. It was a long time ago but I know how they think, I know how they operate and… I’m sorry but if they’ve had her for three and a half years? She’s gone, Sweetheart. There’s nothing left for you to save…” 
You thought Joel was still talking but you couldn’t hear him. It was like you’d just jumped into deep water, the cold of it shocking and painful and the rush of it drowning out everything you knew. You couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe, could barely see. 
Joel. Your Joel, the person you trusted more than any other, was a raider. He was like them, like the men who had torn you away from your daughter, who had raped you, who had tortured you, who now might be doing the same to your child right now and Joel knew them because he was like them because he had done those things, too. 
“Don’t touch me.” 
You were suddenly in your body again, out of that deep dark water and back in your house. Joel’s hands were on you and it was like they were on fire, you could feel it through your skin into your muscle, your bone, down into the marrow of you it hurt where his hands were on you. 
“Baby,” he said gently and you forced yourself to look at his face. You couldn’t breathe. You’d kissed him, told him things you’d never told anyone, all but begged him to touch you and he was just like them. 
“Don’t touch me!” You screamed it and he ripped his hands away like you’d burned him. You could breathe again and gulped in air, reaching for the back of your couch. You needed something to keep you standing, you felt like you were going to collapse or throw up. Joel’s hands were up, like he was waiting to catch you if you fell. “Don’t touch me, don’t you fucking touch me!” 
“You’re OK,” he said, keeping his hands off of you but stepping closer. “I’ve got you, you’re OK…” 
“Get away from me!” You backed away from him, looking for the best way out of here. You had to get away from him, he wasn’t safe, he was just like them and you had to get away from him, you couldn’t be anywhere near him. “Get away!” 
You said it again and again and again and you kept backing away from him until you were pressed against the wall. Joel stayed where he was and, when you were able to look at him again, it looked like he was in pain. 
“I’m away,” he said softly, his hands up. “Not gonna touch you, Sweetheart…” 
“Don’t call me that,” you were sobbing and you weren’t sure when you’d started. 
“What?” He whispered. 
“Don’t fucking call me that!” You bit out, staying back against the wall. He was so big, he could overpower you, he could hurt you, it would be easy for him. “Don’t call me that, not when you’re like them, you’re just like them, I trusted you and you’re just like them…” 
“No,” he shook his head, voice thick. He closed the gap between you quickly and you shocked back from him but he didn’t seem to notice, taking you in his arms and clutching onto you. But his touch made your skin crawl, everywhere his body was against your own screaming in panic. “No, not like that, I never… I never did what they did to you, Sweetheart, please, you have to believe me, I never did that, never. I just…” 
“I trusted you!” You sobbed, your legs collapsing from beneath you. Joel clung to you, keeping you from falling to the floor, but you hated his hands on you, suddenly feeling like hands you’d hated so much. You twisted and fought to get away but he just held onto you. “I trusted you, you made me love you, I let you inside of me and you’re like them, you’re just like them…” 
“I’m sorry, Baby,” his voice was thick and wet. “I’m so sorry, I wish I could take it back, wish I could change it…” 
You managed to firmly plant your feet on the ground and you shoved against his broad, firm chest, desperate for distance from him. 
“Don’t fucking touch me!” 
He let you go and you scrambled back from him, fighting to breathe. He was looking at you, tears in his eyes. 
“Baby, please,” he whispered. “Please just… let me take care of you, I understand what…” 
“I don’t want anything to do with you,” your voice shook. 
“Bambi…” 
“Get out,” you managed. 
He said your name. Your real name. 
“Get out!” You screamed, so loud and harsh you felt it ripping out of you. “Get out of here, get away from me, get out!” 
“I’ll go!” He kept his hands up. “Just gotta promise me…” 
“I don’t gotta do shit for you,” you shook your head. 
“Promise me you won’t do anything that will get you hurt,” he said softly, He was crying, too. “Please, I’m begging you, I’ll do whatever you want just promise….” 
“I won’t, now get out!” You yelled. “Get out, get away from me!” 
“I’m going,” he said quickly. “Please… Please, be safe, please.” 
You watched as he made his way to your door but he stopped and looked back at you. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For… for all of it, I’m so sorry.” 
He closed the door behind him and you collapsed to the ground and sobbed, clutching onto yourself like it was going to keep your body intact but it still felt like you were going to shatter into a million pieces and there would be no one to help put you together again. 
You weren’t sure how long you were there on the floor but, eventually, you were able to make yourself move again. 
You thought of Savvy, of your daughter, of where she might be, of how you’d promised to keep her safe. You got up off the floor, body numb, and grabbed your pack before going out into the snow. 
Next Chapter
A/N: Alright, yell at me. I'm ready for it.
There's a lot in this chapter, I know. It's long, it's rough, it's been coming for a while. We first got a hint of Savvy in chapter 4 when Bambi thought about Joel's possible relationship to Ellie and she's been hinted at regularly since. She's why Bambi knew to use ginger to help William's teething, she's why Bambi was specifically grateful to have another adult around when Marisa showed up, she's why Bambi keeps searching every time there's even a hint of raider activity.
And after everything she's been through, she can't just blindly accept Joel's past, that's way WAY too much for anyone who's survived what she has to bear.
I hope this didn't come completely out of the blue and I hope you're still up for reading more of this story. I hope it'll be worth it in the end. I think it will be.
Thank you for being here. This is a story that I feel like deserves to be told, even the dark parts of it, and I'm so thankful you're along for the ride. Love you ❤️
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