#anime has a thing now for showing parental figures as babies this week

[chaoflaka]

Heck ya baby gremlin is back! :3

[lorehead]

Hello! I hope you’re having a good day ^^ I was hoping to hear some headcanons on how you think Gojo, Megumi and Tsumiki function as a family unit? Gojo was literally like a teen dad to two kids — 🥀

:O yessss I get brainworms from these three, thank you for the first request!!

SLIGHT SPOILER WARNINGS FOR TOJI FUSHIGURO, Anime only’s beware. And [monkey covering eyes emoji] this is all set before Tsumiki's coma

Ok, before we get into everything I want to take a moment to think about what Tsumiki was going through this whole time.

Girl got a step dad and step brother, a baby Megumi, who she wasn’t related to by blood. Her step dad is constantly disappearing for long periods of time. His new wife, Tsumiki’s mom, is someone we don’t know much about in canon. What we do know is that both she and Toji “disappeared” a year before Gojo took them in.

Tsumiki is described to be kind, but she was most definitely wary at first. She spends a year raising her little brother, probably stressing about their finances and having to figure out how to pick up the slack as an elementary student, and suddenly her younger brother appears with a strange man (teen!) who’s offering to adopt them. 

Tsumiki’s kindness is not naivety, she’s looking out for her little brother and Gojo is VERY suspicious looking. 

Since Toji wasn’t the definition of stable, she probably has some issues with feeling secure in her living arrangement

Onto the actual family dynamic and HCs!! Mostly Tsumiki-centric towards the end because she deserves the world

Gojo is trying to give Megumi a childhood and treats him very sillily, while Megumi is trying in his own subtle way to look after Tsumiki, and Tsumiki is still trying to figure out who the fuck the strange young grandpa is in their house and how to look after her brother. 

I imagine the two kids had a bit of food insecurity after the year alone, so Gojo had to figure out how to prove to them that they were safe and he wasn’t leaving. This was difficult, considering his schedule of missions and getting his teaching license

The schedule of that first year was a mess, with making sure that the siblings had their needs met and that Gojo wasn’t traumatizing them even more. Yaga probably gifted him parenting manuals on more than a few occasions. Gojo always made a show of destroying them a few weeks later, but not after ‘referencing’ them. He can be prideful, but his old teacher still gives advice and reminisces about his daughter through the situation

Gojo struggled, quietly, when he didn’t know what the hell he was doing as a dad. (un)luckily for him, Tsumiki and Megumi didn’t know what to do with a dad either. Their relationship leans more towards weird uncle or older brother on some days, but it works out best that way. While Gojo is their legal guardian and dad, he isn’t trying to exert control over them. This is immensely relieving to the two kids, who had gotten used to trying to be responsible. Now, they could stay independent but have someone to fall back on (once the two weren’t as wary of him, that is). Having a neglectful parent doesn't allow for you to trust adults so easily

Tsumiki worries a lot about Megumi, even though he doesn’t accept her care, and tries to do a ton of little things to show her care. Packed lunches, little notes, making sure he’s asleep before she goes to bed- these are a few of the things she did in their year alone and when Gojo moved in with them. 

Megumi takes it all for granted at times, never showing her the same confessions of his care, but every crudely drawn animal and “Have a good day!” note is saved in an empty shoebox in his closet. Tsumiki doesn't know about it, but she still writes them for him up until she starts high school and has to focus on studying

One of the first things Tsumiki did once Gojo proved he not only was going to stay, but cared, was make him a basic lunch like hers and Megumi’s. There was no note, but he showed it off to Shoko at the school and bragged to Utahime (“This really proves how not only am I the strongest sorcerer but the best teacher as well! To have received a gift before you-” “Why are you calling me for this?!?”)

Definitely buys multiples of whatever the kids said they liked. Gojo wants to prove to them that they’re secure and is fumbling around with how to care for them. (“Hey Tsumiki-chan! I remember you said you liked strawberries-” “What am I going to do with ten packages?!?!”)

Gojo’s very much the type to show up to school events and be far too excited- festivals, any sports or theater performances the Fushiguros might be a part of, he’s there front and center with snacks and a glittery sign. He says it’s to embarrass them when Megumi yells at him, but the reality is that the kids are happy to spot his white hair in the crowd. Showing up isn’t something their parents often did, and Gojo himself probably had a peculiar upbringing. This is his way of giving them what they never had and being part of something he didn’t have growing up

Megumi is easy to make fun of, but Tsumiki rolls with every attempt to make her embarrassed. She finds everything sweet- Gojo could buy her the most horrendous looking sweater and she’d be happy he was thinking of her (once she became less wary, that is)

Unbothered queen. Tsumiki can be a little prankster though, after she feels like she’s not the one in charge. Bedazzling phone cases, rearranging furniture, and other harmless things she can do to make the others surprised and confused. Has definitely covered someone’s room in post-its, she deserves a little mischief as a treat.

Megumi puts on airs of hating Gojo and brushing off Tsumiki, but he cares in his own ways. Every action someone takes should be reciprocated, after all. When Gojo goes out and buys groceries, Megumi sets aside dinner for him if he doesn’t eat with them. While Tsumiki stays out late with friends, Megumi stays awake in his room until she comes back. And if he hears any of their classmates saying bad things, well….

His sister doesn’t like that he fights, but he never instigates. He’s just checking them when they run their mouths too much.

But of course, when she leans in to give him a side hug his arms stay by his side.

They receive all their money from the Tokyo School, ✨politics✨, but Tsumiki felt bad and got a job when she entered High School. It was her attempt to gain back a bit of autonomy and control of their situation, though Gojo and Megumi both tried to talk her out of it. Sometimes they swing by just to see her. Megumi, who comes by at the end of her shifts if it’s late to walk (lead) her home, and Gojo, who uses her work as an excuse to get junk food and shitty sweets.

Tsumiki sometimes takes the stuff that’s about to be thrown out home for Gojo, who looks at her as if she gave him gold.

She's his one tie back into the world Jujutsu Sorcerer's are meant to protect. A non-sorcerer, who can't even see curses, and that makes them both a bit protective. Megumi has probably left one of his spiritual dogs with her if he felt there was something in their area, and Tsumiki would be blind to the big dog laying his head on her lap.

While Gojo ruffles Megumi’s sea urchin hair, he helps tie up Tsumiki’s. He figured out how to braid it when she was in middle school and still buys cute hair clips as souvenirs.

Gojo has embarrassing photos of both of them, usually taken when they were napping or unaware, which he likes to show on a few occasions. As revenge, the two siblings got a horrible photo of him framed for his birthday.

A picture of Gojo wearing a horrific animal onesie, standing in the kitchen at night and watching the microwave, with his body half turned towards whoever was taking the picture. Body blurred and eyes glowing, the photo is in a frame that has stickers and rhinestones all over it. It’s framed in their entrance hall, with a  picture of Tsumiki asleep in a face mask and another shot of Megumi getting sprayed with a hose by Gojo. 

They all cringe at their shots but don’t move them. 

Every parent-teacher meeting that they’ve had has gone horribly. At first, Tsumiki would try and attend for Megumi. If a teacher refused to allow her then they had to deal with Gojo, who would either act like a 12 year old if the teacher was an ass or play nice if he deemed them nice. In the end, the schools decided Tsumiki was the only normal one of their unit.

Gojo, at her meetings, would feel a bit odd. After all, she wouldn't ever be part of their world of curses and sorcery. Still, he encouraged her studies and was very supportive in her decision to pursue social sciences in university

Chores are divided by who can do what. Gojo's infrequent schedule means he can't be relied on to cook every meal, Tsumiki's studies and work had her missing many dinners, and Megumi would often be doing his own thing. Gojo and Tsumiki both agreed to do weekly meals together, as well as a chaotic shared breakfast every morning since they departed at the same times. Gojo would cook breakfast, usually something traditional that he grew up with, while Tsumiki made lunches. Megumi would do all the dishes, without prompting.

Overall, they care about each other with varying degrees of comfort in showing it. Gojo tries to supply every material thing they need, Megumi tries to protect them when he can, and Tsumiki just wants them to both know someone care.

Gojo's own upbringing meant he had to learn about himself before learning to take care of the two siblings. Tsumiki had issues with fully trusting adults to care about her after her adolescence, which spawned an interest for psychology/sociology and a need to amek sure her brother could always trust her. She and Gojo see eachother more on equal footing, while Megumi is squarely in 'little sibling' territory.

Megumi, with his dad's semi-frequent flings and disappearing acts, is more comfortable with Gojo's teasing than Tsumiki's kindness. He can bark and bite but doesn't quite know how to deal with her sincerity.

In case you couldn't tell, I have feelings about Tsumiki's character. Sorry for the long post! If you want more specifically Gojo Teen Dad HCs I can do those :)

[letstalkaboutit100]

Ideas pt 16 Blue= Concepts Pink=episode ideas

Since I posted my pt 13 I started to think about animals in the EAH world. So here are MORE ideas if EAH got a reboot!

Apple's cat is named Cinnamon and Raven's dog is named Buck. And they of course hate each other just like their owners lol. I feel Raven and Cinnamon have a BIG rivalry! She's like Lucifer lol! Pretty and sweet on the outside, but evil and mean on the inside. She constantly makes Raven's life harder by breaking stuff, leaving hairballs everywhere, and meowing all night to keep her awake. (Since her and Apple's rooms are close she somehow always sneaks in! Raven can't figure it out!) She drives her crazy! And every time Raven finally has enough, starts to yell at her or is sometimes in an out-of-context position (There was a throwing-out-the-window incident that we don't talk about lol. That was a 'fun' week) someone walks in, usually Apple looking for her and is shocked (but also happy) that Raven is trying to 'kill her cat' when in truth she wasn't trying to but now... SHE DOES! (Her mother used to have a mean cat so she just doesn't like them)

I feel that Apple would be scared of Buck lol. He growls at her and she squeals and finds someone to hide behind. Cerise gave Buck to Raven as a gift for helping her be more confident in her ears/helping to show them off in a way that no one would know that they were real. "I found him while me and my family were hunting" *Lifts the blanket in her basket off and Buck pops out licking Raven's face while she's laughing* "Aw! He's adorable!" "When we found him he had an injured paw so we took him home and I nursed him back to health!"

*Raven starts to baby-talk him* "Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! You're such a sweet boy!" *looks up to Cerise while playing with Buck*"Does the little guy have a home?" *Looks back down at Buck* "Do you have a home?" "Doooo you?" "Actually I was wondering if you would like to have him..." "Really!?" "Yeah I mean I already have my pet dog and" *Bends down to scratch Buck's head and starts to baby-talk too* "And I couldn't leave the little guy in the pound! Now, Could I?" *Both girls start to play with him* "So will you?" "Of course, I will! *Stands up to hug Cerise* "Thank you so much!" "I should be the one thanking you." *Confused* "Me? Why?" "You are the only one besides Hunter and Ashlynn who knows about my parents. You're the first person that I have ACTUALLY told. And you're ok with it! You don't judge my parents and willingly are my friend. You helped me not be so insecure anymore. And at Maddie's tea party!? I would have never shown them my ears if you hadn't convinced me! So I just wanted to say thank you." *Raven who is on the verge of tears* "I'm honored that I was the first one you tolded and your friend!" *They hug again* (A part of me kinda wants Cerise to have the tinyest crush on her. So tiny that it's not even mentioned in the show.)

Everyone loves Buck! The school is kind of divided between Cinnamon and Buck lol. The rebels love Buck, and some of the royals too. But most of them like Cinnamon. (Maybe because they don't want to hurt Apple's feelings. I can imagine Apple giving people a pouty sad look. I feel she does that a lot to manipulate people whether it's for the littlest things. In Apple's will it said that if anything happens to her, she wants Brair to take care of her. Brair doesn't lol.)

Apple at first thinks that Buck is cute but he doesn't like her the second he sniffs her.

Maddie also doesn't like cinnamon because she tries to eat mice.

Cerise doesn't like Cinnamon at first but gets used to her.

Ramona HATES Cinnamon. She's constantly hissing at her showing off her teeth and claws to scare her.

Ashlynn loves both of them. But Hunter just likes Buck. She has it out for him too lol! She likes Ashlynn. I would want an episode where Apple goes away for a few days and everyone in the school has to take turns taking care of Cinnamon lol! That would be WILD!

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Have you done any kanej pregnancy fics or could you 🥺

Sorry this is literally like 2 years too late but I've been watching the SnB show and finally it got me to revisit this prompt!!!! I included the fankid I already wrote for them, an adoptive daughter named Iman.

it's only around 690 words but I hope you enjoy :> I can't promise i'll write any more on the subject, but who knows where my fickle whims will take me.

They aren’t sure how it happened.

Well, that's a lie. There is, after all, only one way for something like this to happen.

It's just, given their very… sporadic intimate life, they had not expected it to happen.

Five years ago, it would have been a horrifying prospect, but now.... Inej is excited, even if it's happened so quickly.

They don't tell people right away. There is a holiday coming up, so the family will all be together, and Kaz figures they can tell them all then. In fact, it will probably be obvious by the look of Inej's belly, especially with her rather slight frame.

On the day that they found out, Kaz placed a gloved hand on Inej's stomach without hesitation.

She laughed, just a bit.

"You know it's too early to feel anything."

"Still. Something is there already," he said, and Inej let out a sigh of content.

One week later, they told their eldest daughter, Iman. She was bouncing off the walls with excitement to have a sibling again.

She got used to having other kids around during her time at the orphanage, and while she sees Wylan and Jesper's lot almost every day, she can't wait to have a baby in the house. To be an older sister, even!

That also means Mama won't be traveling for the time being- Inej has gone on shorter, less frequent trips since Iman came into their lives, but she won't be going out until after she’s given birth. It's not that she thinks she's incapable, but.... she doesn't want to press her luck, you know?

And there's the tiny sigh of relief from Kaz when she tells him she's staying home to think about, too.

For his part, Kaz is glad Inej will be home. People who don't know him might be surprised how much family means to him, but those who do know it's everything. He believes in Inej's mission and would never hold her back but, well- every moment with her, his life is better for it.

When the Holiday comes around, as expected, Inej has swelled. They thought, for a moment, about sending a letter ahead to Nina but it was deemed too risky- select few people know that Inej and Kaz have a child already, and only the people they decide to tell will know about them having a second one.

When she sees her, Nina picks Inej up and swings her around and the two of them laugh joyfully. Kaz sits in a chair and sips a drink as Jesper shakes his head beside him.

The three kids between them are already running around, hellbent on scuffing up their nice shoes, and Wylan is bringing out a plate of food for everyone to pick at. He places it in a spot that hopefully won't be knocked over by children or animals.

Nina refuses to shut up, about how beautiful a thing it is. To create new life, for a belly to grow with another being. Kaz has to step away for a minute with her descriptions, but Inej is rapt and finds herself in agreement.

She’d never much thought about it before- had not planned to be a mother until Iman waltzed into her life. But it is a bit beautiful, isn’t it?  

Inej and Kaz are wonderful parents, if you ask their friends. Conventional? No. But devoted to their child, and the one on the way? Absolutely.

Nina nearly shrieks when the baby kicks, and everyone catches Inej’s eye before their hands fly to her belly. Wylen gives her a shy grin, and his eldest child is over the moon to feel such magic under his hand, having not felt it before.

“Iman, do you want to feel the baby too?”

“No, Mama, give uncle Jesper a chance, I’ll feel it at home.”

They’re raising a sweet girl. A kind girl, if a bit rambunctious.

Kaz trails over, once the cooing and fawing from their family has stopped, and touches Inej lightly to feel the baby’s last strong kick of the evening.

Inej smiles and leans up for a light brush of the lips, before her partner sits next to her and receives their daughter in his lap carefully.

No, they never expected Inej to become pregnant, not her, not Kaz, not their family or friends. But they're all happy, overjoyed, even, that it turned out this way after all.

[campbluelake]

On My Way | Eri | Epilogue

Enclosed inside a battered, slightly torn envelope is a letter— thankfully untarnished in spite of the envelope’s worn exterior. The contents are written in large, clumsy handwriting, and included is a postcard of the Tokyo Tower.

Dear Max,

Told you I’d keep my promise, right?

Hopefully this letter didn’t take real long to get to you. I dunno how they get mail where it needs to go, especially if it’s gotta cross the ocean and shit. It took forever to get explain to the guy at the post office here your address was a legit place in America too. Maybe ‘cause it’s so rurel rural?

Anyway, I’m back in Japan for a bit! I planned on going back to Audie’s place after, but I figured I gotta at least see my parents after all this. So I’m gonna hang with them for awhile before going back to America.

Which I think was the right thing to do, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do, you feel me?? I think I’m getting better at that— doing what I should, even if it’s hard.

My folks were a goddamn wreck when I saw them. And I guess even Sporto’s parents made a real fuss over us being missing?? I think he wants to cut them outta his life though, which is probably good. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re finally warming up to me, but they’re still total assholes in general.

But he got to see my parents too, and my dad actually cried when he hugged us. Don’t tell anyone, but I started crying too.

Maybe it’s easier for you ‘cause your mom is literally the earth, but I think a lotta humans have rough relationships with their parents. 

And siblings too, now that I think about it. My little sister Etsuko and me had a real long talk the night after I got back. Turns out she never hated me in the first place, and just wanted me to like her. Like, holy shit, right???

I think Sporto knew about this, ‘cause he got this knowing look when I told him what happened. That bastard… He’s an only child, so he doesn’t know how hard it can be. Especially when you’re the oldest!!

Wait, speaking of, do you got any siblings? If your mom is the earth, does that mean all trees are your siblings? And that’d make you one of the oldest, right? So maybe you’ll get me.

Someday you gotta come to Japan and try our food. My dad insists on making mochi every new years, so maybe you can come for that?? And take a swing at it yourself!! Don’t worry about being weak either, ‘cause my dad’s a toothpick too. Usually I’m the one to haveta hit the mochi.

I never thought I’d say it, but I’m actually happy to be home. Fucked up, right?

I hope you and Sayacchi have settled into your new place, by the way. Lemme know if you see any cool animals around, yeah? And not Sayacchi’s porswaas porsaws poorswahs (spelling?) but like actual bears or deer or whatever.

I’ll write to ya again soon!! And feel free to write back too, okay?

Your friend,

Eri

The next envelope is sent from a different address— this one in America. On the envelope are the outline of mouse ears, which also show up on the letter paper themselves. Slipped in among the pages is a Polaroid photo of Eri and Audie wearing Mickey Mouse headbands, a costumed Pluto sandwiched between them.

Dear Max,

GREETINGS FROM DISNEY WORLD!!!

Fuck, I’ve always wanted to say that!!! :)

Me and Audie just got back last week!! I’m up at her place now. Gonna crash with her for awhile and figure out what to do next with my life. Like, after graduating college or whatever.

I dunno if you’ve been to Disney yet, but you gotta make Sayacchi take you if not. It’s like, the pinnickel pinnicel pinnacle of human creativity and stuff!!  Plus it’s a real good date spot too!

I’m super glad to be back with Audie, even if saying bye to my family was weirdly hard this time around. She has a real cute dog, and her best friend Nene is super nice. She taught me about plants, so I think you two would get along!

Shit, speaking of, I got super exciting news!!

I’M GONNA BE A MOM!!!

To a baby cactus!!!

It’s my first time taking care of something that ain’t a Tanagotchi, but Nene gave me a lotta info, so I’m gonna raise this cactus to be the most badass little guy around!!!

Audie is real excited too, as the co-mom! But maybe that’s ‘cause she likes seeing me excited?? I dunno…

Love is weird, huh?

Like, I know a lotta fucked up shit happened at camp, but I’m happy so much good came outta it too. Kinda like life, now that I think about it…

Man, I’m getting real deep, aren’t I??

Speaking of good, have you heard from any of the others lately? I try to keep in contact with them, but it’s hard when we’re scattered all over, yeah?

Though between you and me, I kinda wanna throw a reunion. 

Do you think that’d be a good idea?? I know there’s some bad blood between people, but nothing they couldn’t work past, right? Or at the very least, set aside so we can have a cookout. I wanna have a BBQ next summer!!!

Lemme know what you think, okay?

Your pal,

Eri

The last letter to have arrived is tucked away inside a manilla envelope. 

Also inside are several photos this time— multiple of a small cactus in a pot (each labeled ‘JERRY’ on the back), a photo of Audie playing guitar (labeled ‘isn’t she pretty???’), one of Eri playing piano (labeled ‘she found out I took a photo and got me back :(‘), one of Kyousuke and Niko dozing off together (‘loverboys <3’), and one of Eri and Kyousuke posing together in front of a grove of trees (‘saw some trees and thought of you!!’).

Additionally, something else is in the envelope— a Tamagotchi, still in its packaging. Taped to it is a note reading, ‘SEE LETTER!!’

Dear Max,

Long time no see!!!

Or uh… long time no write!!!

Sorry about that! I know it’s been a couple months already… I guess life happens real fast sometimes, you know?

Really, I bet you know even better than me, being immortal and all, huh?

But to make up for it, I included some of my favorite photos I’ve taken recently (plus one by Audie)!!! Someday we gotta meet up again so we can take photos together too, yeah??

I know we write to each other a lot, but I miss being with you in-person— or, uh, in-mothperson.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re wondering about the Tamagotchi!

I dunno if your member, but me and Lyds and Suzy all got Tamas. And raising Jerry (that’s my cactus) got me thinking, “Hey, I bet Max would like a Tamagotchi.”

It’s another pinnical pinnacle of human creativity!! It’s a virtual pet you raise by pressing the buttons on the screen. I’m sure Sayacchi can help ya set it up if you need help getting started!!

Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to have pets, so I settled for Tamas. They live basically forever if you keep them alive too. Like even now, I still got Air Bud…!! I dunno if you remember him, but he’s my Tama. I kept him alive all through camp. Ain’t that cool??

So I figured it’d be a real neat thing for you to try!! Humans can be super creative, huh?

Anyway, lemme know how being a Tamagotchi parent goes!! And don’t feel bad if you fuck up the first few times— it can be hard!

But as long as you keep giving it your best shot, you’ll be okay!! :)

Thanks for always giving it your best shot in life too, yeah? I’m stoked we can be friends even now!

Huh… does that make me the Tama??

It’d be sick if I am! ‘Cause I know I’d be in good hands :)

Love ya, dude!!! 

Your bestie,

Eri

P.S. Hopefully we can get that reunion planned out soon!!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW for transphobia, ableism, tokophobia, animal illness and LOTS of reproductive issues. This is probably going to be weird

I live in a "progressive" country. Unfortunately, I happen to be a combination of things they find to be unacceptable: autistic, transmasc, and interested in adopting. I have always known I want to be a parent, but the thought of carrying a child makes me sick. I think I'd do it if there was no other option, but it would come at the cost of my mental health. Recently, I've been doing research and found out that my autism diagnosis would make it a lot harder to adopt, and so would getting the gender dysphoria diagnosis I need for treatment. I've resigned myself to put my transition on pause, and I'm planning to have my autism diagnosis removed.

Over four years ago, I met Umbra, a female Abyssinian. I found an ad for her at a cat show, handed it over to my mom, and we both fell in love. We've owned purebreds for quite a while now and have been involved in the scene, but when we first met Umbra, still a kitten, something just clicked.

She's an angel. She's five years old now, but she really is my baby. It might be worth saying that I'm a lion therian, and she looks so much like a lion cub that she kickstarts my parental instincts. We bonded in a way I can't put into words, she curls up beneath my blanket every night, and today, when we took her to the vet, my mother told me that I should hold her, because I'm the person she feels most safe with. She scratched me when she was waking up from her anaesthesia, and I was just happy that I got to hold her.

She's got a cyst on one of her ovaries, and an inflammation in her lower stomach. They're still figuring out what we should do to help, and I think she will be going in and out of the vet's office in at least the coming week, and I think she'll be fine - it doesn't seem serious, I'm just glad we caught it early.

But we're probably going to have to spay her. And that's just causing a million feelings for me. She's had a litter before, and we meant to have a second and final litter, but right now, that's not looking very likely. Umbra is my baby angel, and her well-being is worth more than a thousand litters of kittens.

But I feel like I'm mourning the grandchildren I'll never get to have. I had been looking forward to getting to take care of her kittens so much, because my whole being longs to take care of something small and innocent. I loved being the grandparent to her last litter. We've talked to the owner of one of the kittens, Yuna, now two years old, and she's has said that she'll contact us if Yuna has a female kittens, so I might end up having great-grandkittens? And that's great! Yuna is lovely, I would love to spend more time with her, and I'm sure her kittens will be just as wonderful.

But that logical thinking doesn't stop me from feeling that this is the universe's way of telling me that I'll never be a parent, or even that it's punishing me for trying to be one. It just feels like a cruel reminder of the things I'

*I've given up on. (Anon sending a message about reproductive issues and animal illness - I managed to press "send" too early)

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and your cat's medical issues. It can be stressful to not only consider the possibility that your autism diagnosis may complicate adopting a child, but with your cat's health issues and needing to put your transition on pause on top of that, it's understandable to be frustrated, disheartened, and in a way grieving as well.

Your love and care for Umbra are commendable, and it's important to prioritize her health. As for the adoption process, it's unfortunate that your autism diagnosis has made it more challenging, but remember, these hurdles don't define your worth as a parent or your ability to provide a loving home. Sometimes life presents us with unexpected challenges, but it doesn't mean your pursuit of adoption is futile. You have a big heart and a lot to offer a child when the time is right.

I understand that it might feel overwhelming with both your adoption process and Umbra's health concerns happening simultaneously. It may be helpful to remember that the situation with Umbra doesn't necessarily say anything about your pursuit in adopting a child, although it's understandable to compare the two. Each situation has its unique circumstances, and your love and commitment are valuable in both aspects of your life.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you process and cope with the effects of ableism and transphobia, navigate the situation with Umbra, and guide you along the healing and grieving journey. I wish you the best of luck in being able to adopt, transition, and I also wish good health for Umbra as well. Please remember to take care of yourself as you navigate this time, whether that's staying well rested, fed, and healthy, or doing something nice for yourself. Especially after everything that's been coming up for you, you deserve that.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[cakerybakery]

Being a parent? Depends on the day.

Overwhelming sometimes. We’re pretty sure the oldest has ADHD and our youngest has Down syndrome and they’re at two different stages in life so that can be hard to manage as one is very mobile and on high energy days can be literally bouncing off walls and unable to slow down, and the other is crawling now and trying to walk but they need a lot of supervision and support. And they both want and need attention at the same time. And there always seems to be a million things to do. And all kinds of a small details to remember so things run smoothly.

I literally got to my youngest’s early childhood intervention group meeting the other day and realized I forgot my purse, my wallet, and my phone. I was a little surprised I remembered my kid. I was just standing there in the lobby trying to figure out where the place I put my car keys was. It took almost a minute for me to realize I meant my purse and that it was missing.

Sometimes I just need to be alone for a while. One night I drove on the highway blasting Animals by Nickleback as loudly as I could and screaming along to the lyrics because I’d been having a shitty week of constantly being overwhelmed and not even being able to do anything about it because that’s just the way it is sometimes.

And sometimes it’s just great. We cuddle, play games, get to go and do things without it turning into a melt down. And even if there is one it’s more manageable than other days because it’s not on top of everything else going wrong. I love my kids and I love being around them and seeing them explore and learn and try stuff.

I love when my oldest runs into the house and gives me a bunch of plants or rocks they found and wanted me to have. I love watching my baby figure things out on their own, they may not be verbal but they’re learning signs and you can watch as they try to work out how things work without anyone even showing them. I’ll ask if they’re all done or want more and they try to sign but it’s mixed up so I ask again and you can see them thinking and purposely being more clear to tell you they’re still hungry or full.

When our youngest was born they weren’t strong enough to nurse or even take a bottle properly and had to be fed with a syringe. And I only slept three hours a day because they wouldn’t wake up to fed and they weren’t gaining weight so I couldn’t miss a fed and our oldest was three and I couldn’t take any naps and they needed attention and food and love just as much as the baby. It was so fucking hard.

Slowly things got better. They gained weight, started to be able to bottle feed. Didn’t need to feed as much and I got to sleep more. Kindergarten started and I could finally only have to worry about one kid at a time for a few hours and knew the other was making friends and learning and getting exercise and safe. Now first grade is starting soon, and even though the oldest needs an eye surgery (routine and it’ll be fine) they’ll be in school all day and their world won’t just be me.

I love them and want to squish their little face and give them kisses, but for the love of god I also need to go more than five minutes without someone using me as a sounding board for their every thought or needing to stop someone from accidentally killing themselves.

Some days are just filled with nos. No you can’t lick the grocery cart. No take that out of your mouth. No you can’t have stickers. No you can have a new toy you have a million toys you don’t play with. No you can’t have desert it took you an hour and a half to eat your dinner and bedtime was half an hour ago. Just all kinds of nos. And I get told I hate you and I love daddy not you. And I want to curl up into a ball and cry.

I was literally told, “I love daddy because he works, not you.” Happy Mother’s Day. That just felt so fucking great to hear.

The worst part is that kids are just assholes cause they don’t know better yet. They say exactly what they’re thinking and lack any awareness that there might be something they don’t understand and they don’t really care either. And as a parent you kinda just have to keep trying to teach them not to be assholes so that one day they won’t be.

Having kids can be horrible. And wonderful. And a nightmare. And a dream. And most days it’s all of those things. You have a horrible day filled with tantrums and fighting and sent to time out and it’s just the worst and finally they’re in bed and asleep and you sit down on the couch and go, I wish the kids were awake, I miss them.

Because no matter what, no matter how much you want to scream and cry until you can’t anymore, you love the little assholes. They’re your little sunshines. Your little going to give me cancer and kill me, sunshines. And you love them more than anything else in the world. I would do anything for them. I love them and it’s great.

Now would be the perfect time to go see a movie. I can go alone too. But while I want to see the movie, I want to write, not watch something. But I also don’t really want to be at home since I hardly ever get to leave alone and today was stressful from getting blood work done on my toddler, then back to school shopping and grocery shopping and the toddler napped in staples. I just laid them down in a cart and went. And it was a high energy day for my older kid. It felt like everyone was out shopping today too. So that was stressful.

Just feeling conflicted since I don’t usually get a chance like this to go to a movie. Maybe I’ll just leave the house for a bit on my own and write somewhere that isn’t here.

I wonder if the Denny’s is still 24/7

[bella-goths-wife]

The lost boys different parenting styles

Paul- irresponsible, loving father

Paul loves you, your the absolute apple of his eye, his little baby

But he doesn’t want to give up his party animal lifestyle of getting drunk and high and killing people

This can cause him to be distant

He is a very physically loving father and will give you all the affection you want

But he can definitely be irresponsible

He once took you to the boardwalk for a father-daughter night away from the rest of the boys

He had set you down on the beach sand and was playing with you

That was until his usual weed crowd called him over with the promise of a good deal

He was hesitant and ready to refuse until he saw the girl he had been hunting for a few weeks with the crowd

He was just gonna leave you for a second so he could convince this girl to come over and maybe stash some weed for later on

So he did, he left you for what was only meant to be 4 minutes turned into 10 minutes

He got back and found you gone from your beach towel

He panicked and searched all over for you with fear running through his veins

He ran into the boys while searching for you and they were all furious, David especially because of him and Dwayne being your main caregivers

They all searched and they found you sat with a young girl

They were ready to attack her when she calmly explained that you wandered over to her and asked her if she was your mother

The girl, who the later found out that her name was star, scolded Paul for losing you

They later repaid her with a very special bottle of wine

Marko- protective, playful father

Marko has some trouble from his past

He was raised in foster home after foster home

This has always made him very protective of you

He never wants you to see the things he’s seen

So whenever it’s his turn to spend the day looking after you, he is extremely careful

He’s the one to first baby proof the cave, well as much as you can baby proof a Hotel that sank and turned into a cave

He may not look it, but he is definitely a cautious person, so if someone wants to hold you while he’s around, he’ll quickly look them up and down and refuse

He’s also a very playful father

He’s the one you can play with and have little tea parties with

He absolutely adores you and will forever be free to spend time with you

Dwayne- nurturing, providing father

Dwayne is your main provider

Sure the other boys give you junk food and soda

But Dwayne cooks you meals and gives you healthy food

He always worried that you would start to favour the other boys over him because they were the ‘fun parents’

But you always seemed to know that he was only doing it out of love and, apart from a few tantrums and teenage rebellion, you understood why he was doing what he was doing

He is also the one to give you an education

Because they can’t leave the cave during the day they have to wait until your able to go places on your own before they can enrol you into school

So Dwayne makes it his mission to give you an education

He teaches you how to read and write and speak

He gives you daily lessons and makes it fun so you didn’t feel forced into learning

This definitely creates a stronger bond between the two of you and makes him the person you go to for advice

He definitely becomes jealous of star and how you see her as a mother figure

He’s also jealous that she can now take you to school so you’d no longer need his daily lessons

This makes him resent star for a while and even refuses to let her hold you or show you affection while he’s around

He quickly knocks it off when David voices disagreement with Dwayne’s attitude towards star

David- strict, distant father

David is the leader of the group

Like an alpha to a pack, and you were the cub

David loves you and he doesn’t want to come off distant

But he just doesn’t know how to express his feelings even paternal one’s

He’s always gonna be the one to dish out the punishments

Not because he’s more of a father than the rest because sometimes it’s the opposite, but because he is the one who makes the rules for everyone so when you break yours, the others look to him for solutions

This can make you somewhat resent him, and although it does hurt him, he doesn’t show it

He is protective and he looks out for any opportunity to make sure your protected

That’s why he turned star and provides her with blood so she can be your mother and look after you in the day time

He bans you from going to the boardwalk alone, even when your in your teenage years

He sees everything bad that could happen to you before it even happens to you so he wants to make sure something like a kidnapping or you being taken away from your family

He also knows that your grandfather is still around and he knows that if you ever found out about your birth mother, there’s not a snowballs chance in hell that you would stay

[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

[hispipsqueak]

Sweet Little Sister

Tenya Iida x F!Reader x Tensei Iida NSFW

TW: STEPCEST. I cannot stress this enough. If you do not like stepcest, skip this fic my friend. Reader is the Iida brother’s new stepsister and things get wild. All characters are 18+.

Other TW: unprotected sex, threesome, a lot of little sister/big brother type stuff, slight yandere Iida brothers, oral F and M receiving.

WC: 4k

A/N: Y’all have no idea how long I have been putting off writing the ending because it was HARD and I have like one brain cell. This fic has been the bane of my existence and I’m exhausted. I really hope you guys enjoy this. Please send me love....and snacks. I’m gonna go to bed now.

You fixed your skirt for the millionth time. You were going to finally meet your future stepbrothers for dinner tonight and you were a bundle of nerves.

Your mom had been dating a new man recently who she was head over heels for. They had been spending so much time together and he spoiled her, flying her abroad on weekend getaways all the time. Apparently, he had popped the question when they were in Greece last week and the two of them were flying in tonight to celebrate with both families. All you knew was he had two sons, both a little older than you. However, since the romance had been so quick, you hadn’t met them yet.

You were the last to arrive for dinner, and as you pulled up to the house, the house that you soon would all share, your jaw dropped. It was MASSIVE, nothing short of an estate. You knew your future stepdad was rich, but this was certainly a step up from your measly 2 bedroom apartment you shared with your mother.

You rang the doorbell, patting down your outfit one more time before the door swung open. A tall man opened the door and your eyes widened. His white button up stretched over his broad chest and you quickly pulled your eyes up to his face. He had navy hair, neatly combed back and a bright beaming smile.

“You must be Y/N! I’m Tensei!”. He pulled you into a tight hug and you were pressed into his chest. He smelled like pine and clean laundry and you felt your heart race. He let go of you and smiled, his blue eyes sparkling. 

“Sorry! I just figured, since we are going to be brother and sister, we better get close!” 

Right. Brother. This was your big brother and you could NOT think of him any other way. You forced a smile on your face, and nodded.

“You’re right! It’s great to finally meet you.”

“There you are – oh hello. I apologize for my interruption! I’m Tenya Iida.” Tensei’s brother, a literal carbon copy of him, just with square glasses perched in front of his blue eyes, walked into the room. You looked up at both of them, and felt very small.

“Tenya, no need to be so formal. Y/N is our new little sister, and we should be bonding!” Tensei teased, poking Tenya in the ribs. A bright blush crept on his cheeks and the two of them argued.

“I’m glad the three of you seem to be getting along well!” A man who resembled the two, only older with a grey streak in his hair smiled. Your mother stood next to him, the sparkly diamond standing out on her hand.

“Let’s get to dinner.”

Somehow you ended up sitting between Tensei and Tenya at the long table. Your parents were too busy being lovestruck teenagers to really pay the three of you any mind, and you ate your dinner in awkward silence until Tensei began speaking.

“Y/N, I hope you like your bedroom here! It’s on the top floor but it’s between both mine and Tenya’s so if you ever need your big brothers, we are right next door!”

You giggled, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

Tenya nodded solemnly, “It’s our duty as older brothers to protect you! We will take this responsibility seriously!” 

You bit back a laugh. “Thank you Tenya. I already feel very welcome and safe.”

The three of you continued talking and soon, dinner was over. Both of the brothers insisted you head up to your room as they cleaned up, and your parents headed to their room which was thankfully, in another wing of the house.

You made your way up the stairs and opened the door that Tensei had directed you to and it was very...pink. There were pink lilies on the nightstand and a huge baby pink comforter on the bed surrounded by fluffy pastel pillows. A white vanity sat in the corner with a matching chair and white and pink dressers stood against the wall.

You supposed they were really glad to have a little sister and you smiled at the card that your new older brothers signed. You pulled your overnight bag open and searched for clothes to sleep in. The rest of your stuff would be arriving tomorrow, so you were stuck wearing shorts a little too small and a tank top that left very little to the imagination. You looked in the mirror. Maybe you could ask Tensei for a shirt to cover up, As if reading your mind, a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

“I just came by to…say goodnight!” Tensei’s eyes trailed down, before he blinked and looked back at your face. You could see his ears reddening and crossed your arms in an attempt to hide your cleavage.

“Um, actually I was wondering if I could borrow a shirt, Tensei? I’m so sorry, it seems that I haven’t worn this in a lot longer than I thought.” You laughed nervously.

Tensei straightened up.

“Of course! I’ll uh, be right back!” He sped off and returned with a large grey t-shirt that you immediately threw on over yourself. As you pulled it over yourself, you didn’t see Tensei’s eyes roam down your exposed legs. You turned to him. “Thank you so much Tensei. Sweet dreams!” You said, giving him a tight hug. He nodded and headed back to his room, passing Tenya in the hallway. Tenya gave him a curious look and Tensei just returned a tight-lipped smile before locking his door and collapsing on his bed, his cock straining against his boxers. 

------

The next morning you woke up refreshed and wanting to thank your new brothers for their hospitality. You headed out to the hall to see if they were awake. You opened the door to see Tenya standing there.

"Hey! I was just looking for you! Good morning Tenya." You smiled at him. 

"Good morning." He said looking at you curiously. "Is that Tensei's shirt?" 

You looked down and gave a sheepish grin. 

"Oh! Yes, I had another shirt on but it was a little too small so he let me borrow this last night."  

Tenya had an unreadable look on his face. You cocked your head to the side.

"Um...so anyway, I was wondering if you wanted breakfast? I wanted to show my appreciation for the warm welcome to my new brothers and I love to cook so it's my pleasure." You smiled at him. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, then just nodded.

"Uh...thank you, Y/N that would be wonderful. I'll show you around the kitchen." He said, placing a hand on your shoulder. He pulled back. "Apologies!"

You laughed.

"Tenya, please. We live together. I want you to feel comfortable around me!" You pulled him into a hug, your face in his chest.

Tenya's heart raced and he prayed you couldn't feel his growing erection. You were so soft and smelled so good and fuck you looked incredible in those tiny shorts, though he felt a strange pang of jealousy over you wearing his brother's shirt.

She's your sister. Your little sister. That's disgusting and disgraceful.  

His head raced with thoughts and he felt so ashamed but the taboo aspect fueled the fire burning inside him. 

You pulled away, looking up at him with those beautiful bright eyes. His heart thumped in his ears.

"Oh, good morning!" 

Tensei's door swung open. He stood shirtless in a pair of red flannel pajama pants and neither of the brothers missed how your eyes were drawn to his muscular chest before you composed yourself.

Tenya glared at Tensei, who gave an easygoing smile in return.

"I hope you slept well, little sister." Tensei asked you. You nodded and thanked him again for the shirt.

"I hope you're hungry. I'm making breakfast." You grinned as the three of you headed to the kitchen. Tensei chuckled.

"That sounds wonderful Y/N. Do you need any help?" 

You shook your head. "Nope! Let me treat you both as a thank you. I've always wanted older brothers to make food for and dote on." You giggled. "Maybe I watch too much anime but I always loved that idea."

Both brothers sat at the island in the kitchen watching you as you flitted about grabbing ingredients and utensils to use. You reached for a box of flour on a high shelf and your shorts ran up even higher, giving them an eyeful of the curve of your ass. Tensei bit his lip, and Tenya cleared his throat. "Allow me!"

You spun around, "No way! I told you. I can handle making my brother's breakfast!" You turned back to the cabinet, jumping up to reach. 

Even though you had Tensei's shirt on, your breasts jiggled and bounced with each jump, and you made soft panting noises as you attempted to pull the box down. Both of them were grateful for the island that prevented you from seeing their cocks fully aroused now.

You, having finally gotten everything you needed, turned away from them again as you began to cook on the stovetop. Tensei had finally had enough. As you talked about whatever it was you were talking about, he slipped his cock over the waistband of his pants, palming it slowly. You just looked so fucking nice, and for a moment Tensei could see you as his cute little housewife and not his innocent little sister.

Or maybe it turned him on more to think of you as both...fuck what was the matter with him? He couldn’t think about it too long as he had more pressing matters at hand, literally.

Neither you nor Tenya seemed to notice he was preoccupied and you continued joking and laughing. Suddenly you whipped around to face him. His hand froze on his cock and he coughed to cover his discomfort. 

“Tensei, how do you like your eggs?”, You asked innocently, completely oblivious to the death grip he had on his cock underneath the island.

“Uh...erm, anyway is fine! I’m sure they’ll be delicious if you cooked them.” He stammered out, praying you didn’t continue the conversation. You smiled, and turned to ask Tenya his preferences. Once Tensei was sure you were distracted, he slowly pumped his hand up and down his cock again. Precum leaked from the tip and knowing you could catch him, knowing you were less than 5 feet from him, only fueled his arousal. What would you do if you caught him? Would you be disgusted and upset? Or would you offer to help, offer to take care of your big brother?

God he was so close, so close imagining your hands wrapped around him, your beautiful face looking up at him, so sweetly, so innocently –

“NHGG!” he groaned, shoving his cock in his pants as his cum spilled over his hand. He could feel the fabric spreading his seed all over his cock and he felt uncomfortably sticky.

“Are you okay, big brother?” Your eyes were wide with worry. He turned to face both you and Tenya. 

“Y-yes! Sorry, muscle cramp in my leg. Happens sometimes, Sorry!” He smiled reassuringly as the cold fabric stuck to his softening cock. You still looked worried and he flashed you a bright grin. “I promise, I’m fine.”

You nodded and turned back to the food. Tensei met Tenya’s stare, the younger man’s eyes narrowed to slits. 

Oblivious, you plated the food. 

“Let’s eat!”

--------

The three of you navigated your new sibling relationship as well as possible. You loved your new older brothers and fussed over them daily, cooking for them and doting over them any time they were home. Your mom and stepdad, seeing how well the three of you got along, often left the three of you home while they jetted to far off countries on lavish vacations.

The boys loved the attention from you. Their packed lunches, your soft hands rubbing their shoulders or playing with their hair as they laid on the couch after a long day. You were so sweet and beautiful as you flitted around the house, cooking dinner or doing chores. And those days where they would come home to find you lounging by the pool outside? Your tiny swimsuit leaving little to the imagination? Well those were just bonuses.

Those nights, as you slept soundly in your bed, on the other side of the wall, Tenya gripped his cock tightly. Your curves ran through his mind and he spat on his throbbing cock as he thought about you. Your soft touches and giggles replayed in his head. Thoughts of when the two of you were alone and you’d curl up against him on the couch as you watched a movie, or fell asleep on his chest. You trusted him so much to protect you and love you like an older brother should and here he was, fantasizing about stretching your sweet little pussy on his cock, about making you cry out his name. 

Fuck, or when your cute little voice rang out each morning, “Good morning big brother!”. He wanted to hear you scream for him, beg your big brother to fuck you harder. He wanted to ruin you and make you his. He panted as he picked up speed, fucking his hand. His hips jerked and he was so close. 

A noise came from your room, a soft mewl. Tenya pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear movement and another soft sigh. Were you touching yourself too? Were you imagining his cock filling you up? He strained to hear and made out your cute little breaths and another low moan. His eyes rolled back and he groaned as his cum shot over his abs and chest. He listened to hear if you were awake and heard nothing more from your room. Sighing, he reached to his nightstand to clean himself.

-----

Days passed and you had been in an exceptionally good mood. At first, Tensei and Tenya both thought you were just in a good mood. But they started to notice you looking at your phone more, giggling and blushing at the screen. When they would ask, you would mumble “nothing” as you typed a response. You also spent more days out of the house than usual, saying you were spending time with friends or running errands. Finally one night, as the three of you sat at the table, you spoke up.

“I met a guy.”

Tenya’s fork clattered to his plate and Tensei gritted his teeth.

“His name is Kaito. He’s really sweet and really cute. He wants to take me out to dinner this week but I wanted him to meet you two first.” You smiled, looking up at your older brothers who were glaring daggers at their food.

Tenya spoke first.

“Where did you meet this man?”, he asked, his eyes burning a whole into the tablecloth.

“At the store as I was getting some groceries. He helped carry my bags to the car.” Your eyes flickered to both your brothers, confused at the tension in the air.

“So this man just picks up women at the grocery store?”, Tensei asked, his tone cold.

Your skin prickled.

“What? No, of course not. He saw I was struggling and offered to help me. Then we got to talking and…”

Tenya looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“If you are having difficulty getting groceries, Tensei or I will join you so these men don’t prey on you. What if he had followed you home? Or attacked you in the car?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. How was this the conclusion they were reaching?

“Nothing happened! And clearly he is a nice man, as he wants to meet you and take me out.” Your voice wavered as 2 pairs of navy eyes stared you down.

“Is this who you’ve been texting?”, Tensei interrupted you.

You looked at him questioningly,

“Why does it matter who I’m–”

“ANSWER THE QUESTION.” Tenya’s hand slammed on the table.

Your lip trembled. Fighting back tears, you whispered. “Yes.”

Tensei looked exasperated. Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, he reached out to you and you flinched.

“We are just worried about you. You’re our sweet little sister and we want to make sure no one hurts you ever.”

Tenya reached out to your other arm.

“I apologize, dear sister. I just want you to be safe and unharmed.”

You stared blankly at the table, before turning from both of them and walking to your room, slamming the door.

------

As your phone buzzed on the couch that night, it wasn’t too difficult for your older brothers to figure out your password. And it was even easier to find this Kaito guy online and threaten him until he agreed to cut contact with you.

After all, your big brothers would always protect you.

-----

The next day, as you read and re-read the messages from Kaito, your heart broke. You curled up against your older brothers on the couch. 

“You were right.” You sobbed into Tensei’s shoulder, Tenya’s chest pressed against your back. “I should have never argued with you two.”

The boys held you close between them. 

“Shh, it’s okay. We’ll take care of you. Your big brothers are here for you.” Tenya pressed his lips to your hair as Tensei pulled you into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat through his thin shirt. You felt Tenya rub soft soothing circles on your back and you sniffled, turning so you could face both of them.

“I’m..*hic* sorry for being *hic* so emotional.” You choked out, rubbing your eyes. You blinked and both boys looked at you. They both had such adoration in their eyes and looked at you like you hung the moon. You knew they would always be there for you.

You kissed Tensei on the cheek and turned, kissing Tenya on the cheek. Both boys blushed furiously and your breath caught in your throat as they each pressed a kiss to your cheeks, slightly closer to your lips. 

Maybe it was the overwhelming emotions that filled you right now, or maybe it was always there, lying dormant inside of you. But you felt a tingle in your core and pressed another soft kiss to Tenya’s face, this time ghosting the edge of his lips before placing an identical one to Tensei.

Your body stilled as you waited to see what they would do. Tensei looked in your eyes before pressing his lips to yours. Your hand clutched at his shirt as he licked your lip. You opened your mouth to him and he hungrily tasted you. You broke apart, and Tenya took this opportunity to pull you towards him.

He slammed his lips to yours as Tensei kissed down your neck and collarbone. Where Tensei was confident in his kisses, Tenya was desperate. You moaned into Tenya’s mouth as Tensei bit a particularly sensitive spot on your neck. Your bodies were so close and you could feel Tenya’s erection through his pants, pressing against your thigh.

You pulled back. 

“We shouldn’t...I’m so sorry, this is…” You stammered,

Tensei kissed your temple and Tenya pressed his hand to your cheek.

“Let us take care of you, little sister. Let your big brothers make it all better.” 

Flustered you gave in to your body and continued reaching down, palming Tenya through his slacks. You felt his body shiver as you ran your fingers up and down the shaft. Pulling away from both of them you pulled off your sweater, revealing your body to them. Their cocks ached so much for you, and seeing you like this, in a way they had only imagined, turned them feral.

Tensei tugged at your legs, pushing you onto your back. You looked up at your big brothers and your eyes widened.

“You’re so beautiful.” Tensei whispered, his fingers tracing your belly. Tenya nodded, his eyes trained on your breasts in the lacy white bra you wore. He slid the strap down your shoulder and when you didn’t protest, unhooked the clasp in the front. Your breasts spilled out and he ran his fingers over your hardening nipples.

Tensei tugged down your legging and panties and you were naked before them, looking like a sweet lamb between two hungry wolves. He pressed a kiss to your lower belly, and you whimpered. His cerulean eyes met yours and you gave a soft nod for him to keep going. His lips met your folds and he lapped at your slit hungrily. Your hips bucked involuntarily and you could feel his grin against you.

“Easy now sweetheart, your big brother is going to take care of you.” His hands pressed your hips down firmly as he continued to devour your cunt.

Your eyes rolled back and you met Tenya’s eager eyes. His erection was pressing painfully through his pants and you tugged at the fabric, silently begging for him. He threw off his slacks and you could see the wet mark on the front of his boxers. Running your fingers over it, you opened your mouth and looked at him expectantly.

That was all it took. Tenya slid his boxers off, pressing the head of his dick against your soft lips. You gave kitten licks, staring into his eyes as best you could as you were still being tantalized by Tensei’s tongue. Tenya let out a grunt as you continued to tease his cock, slowly taking it deeper into your mouth. Tensei plunged his tongue deep inside you and you let out a loud moan around Tenya.

“F-fuck...so good, princess.” Tenya choked out, pulling you closer onto his cock. You felt yourself getting closer to climax as Tensei flicked his tongue over your clit. You gasped around Tenya’s thick member and he used this opportunity to push himself deeper down your throat. Stars danced in your eyes and your thighs strained under Tensei’s grip.

“That’s it baby girl, cum all over your big brother’s face.”

His lewd words, the taboo nature of it all, and the helplessness you felt as you choked on Tenya’s cock and were being held down by Tensei...you cried out as you gushed all over Tensei’s face. 

“Mmm….that’s it sweetheart.” Tensei murmured as he guzzled down your arousal. Your eyes fluttered and you whimpered as you Tenya lazily fucked your face.

Tensei looked at Tenya and wordlessly, the brothers switched places and you were flipped onto your knees. Tenya’s thick cock was pressed against your entrance and you gulped at how big it felt. He ran his hands over your hips.

“Shh...be a sweet little sister for your brothers.” 

Tensei’s cock was in front of your mouth and he tapped it on your mouth. You parted your lips and both brothers slid inside you. You gasped at the stretch and tried to turn your head towards Tenya, but Tensei gripped your face, and you swirled your tongue around his cock. 

“So tight...god...such a perfect little girl.” Tenya groaned, his fingertips digging into your skin. Tensei tugged your hair as he plunged deeper into your mouth. You bounced between the brother’s cocks as they worshipped your body, praising you for being their good girl.

“So beautiful, Y/N. You’re so good to us.” Tensei whispered.

You could feel Tenya’s thrusts getting sloppier as he pounded into you faster and faster. He pulled your arms behind your back, so you were at their mercy. Tensei’s cock was slamming the back of your throat, and Tenya was fucking you so deep you felt like you were going to pass out. Your limbs felt like jelly and the only thing holding you upright was the sheer force of them fucking you from each end.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck...gonna cum.” Tenya breathed out, his grip on you was almost painful and your arms were sore from how hard he tugged on them. Tensei seemed to be reaching his peak too, as his breaths were becoming ragged. You swallowed around his cock and he let out a deep groan, spilling his seed down your throat. You clenched around Tenya and he swore as he shot ropes of hot cum deep inside you. The twitching of his cock set you off and your muscles clenched as you whimpered out. You felt like sparks were fluttering from your nerves and the boys held you as you came down from your high. 

Your eyes closed and you could only faintly feel them cleaning you up and someone carrying you to your bed. Your hands reached out and you felt the bed shift as each man climbed into your pink bed on either side of you.

Content, you fell asleep between your big brothers.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[finalspaceyandere]

Can you do ash graven yandere? Just curious on how this will go

First of all I apologize for the delay, I've had a very heavy week, I love your idea, so here it is baby (^_-).

💜☠️Ash graven☠️💜

Season 2.

Since her appearance, she displayed a very strange, possessive and dare I say even temperamental demeanor, as she has been shown to get angry very easily, such as when Gary reminds her of her prom.

try to find out why Ash has this behavior (this information will help us understand Ash's behavior and actions as a yandere), and well, I didn't find it but I have a little idea, maybe it's not such a huge reason, but from ash We don't really have much, I've done what I could.

They gave her as a sacrifice, not only her but also her younger sister, she couldn't help her, and in less than 2 seconds she killed her parents with powers she didn't know she had, she had to flee her planet, while they persecuted her they He stayed with 2 people he met, one he considered as a brother and the other as his… dad.

But that wouldn't take away from the fact that she didn't care about her sister, then she met a Ventrexian who became her best friend, and she met a woman who would later be her greatest mother figure, since hers caused the death of his sister and almost his own, he found that what he remembered of his sister was gone, only to see her die later.

She believed that her powers were to save her sister… And we realized that she was not like that.

💜☠️💜

Season 3.

She confirms that she does not want the powers, after learning that Imvictus gave them to her, not only with that, she saw how she lost her brother, so that later they killed him in front of her, although he was already dead, but I'm not going to discuss that, only the little cat remains.

After learning that Avocato killed Lil Cato's parents, she exploded, she couldn't take it anymore, in her attempt to protect him, she left with Imvictus, she was so upset that she almost killed Gary and Avocato to protect Cato, she lost a lot and didn't I would lose him.

considering all this.

I can say with great certainty that ash would be in the first place of the most dangerous fs yan characters, beating avocato only because of his powers since these 2 really fight for first place, in my opinion she would be equal to or more dangerous than yuno gasai from the diary of the future, and if you know anime, that will already give you a great idea, this woman would not hesitate to take care of you or protect you.

but it wouldn't exactly be love if you make her mad, initially she'd have the idea to capture you, and at the least danger she can see, I assure you she'll have a nice special room for you, with everything you like, even the things you never You told her you liked them, she knows it, she knows everything about you.

she is both possessive and obsessive, and her hand would no longer tremble to kill someone for you, although very possibly you don't know it, she doesn't want to scare you, she doesn't want you to be afraid of her, she doesn't want you to get away from her, she would have you on a pedestal, so much so that I wouldn't consider other people to see you, they don't deserve to see you.

you, his escape, his light, his life, the only person for whom he has not yet lost all his madness, he loves you more than you think, and he would not hesitate to show it to you, but do not try to escape, although you will not be able to, you are resigned By her side, don't think you have a chance to escape from her, and if you try, holy shit, she won't kill you, but I promise you the punishment won't be pretty.

I feel like if she were allowed, she would destroy an entire dimension for you to be by her side.

💜💜💜💜she is your family now💜💜💜💜

[cuttoothed]

A little fic for @jonsimsandcats and also inspired by some adorable art on discord! Featuring notes on kitten rearing, and of course some Jmart because it’s me.

Jon works at the Institute here, but a non-spooky version of it!

*

Martin is doing a final check on the fish tanks when he hears the bell above the front door jingle. He sighs; he knew he should have locked up first. Just his luck.

“This is your fault,” he tells the angelfish balefully. They don’t seem contrite, too busy nosing in the fine gravel for any food they’ve missed. Martin walks out to the front of the shop, preparing his best customer service smile to tell whoever’s come in at—he glances at his watch—three minutes past eight that they’re closed, and no, they can’t just wander around for a few minutes to look at the animals. Honestly, some people seem to think there’s no difference between a pet shop and an art gallery.

There’s a man standing at the front counter, looking around anxiously, a bundled up jumper clutched against his chest.

“Sorry, we’re—” Martin begins, and that’s as far as he gets before the man unleashes a frantic tirade.

“Please!” the man says, “I need your help, I-I’m not sure they’re breathing and they were out there for hours on their own, I know you’re not supposed to move them in case their mother comes back but I couldn’t just—just leave knowing they were still there, and all the vet offices nearby are closed, this was the only place I could think of!”

The man is wild eyed, almost panicked, and Martin lifts both hands in an appeasing gesture.

“Woah,” he says, “Uh, maybe start from the beginning again? Slowly?”

“Right, ah, sorry. Sorry. I spotted them this morning, under a bush just outside my work.” The man sets the bundle of jumper down on the counter, and unfolds it to reveal two tiny scraps of fur: one gray, one black. Kittens, Martin realizes, so small they can only be a week or so old; certainly not old enough to be without their mother.

“I left them alone, because I’ve heard that the mother usually comes back after a little while. A-and I meant to go and check on them again during the day, make sure.” The man sounds anguished now, his face miserable. “But I—I got caught up in work, forgot about it. It was only when I was leaving that I remembered. And they were still there, on their own. Barely moving. Please—is there anything we can do?”

Martin looks down at the tiny creatures in their nest of wool; he can just about see the shallow in-out of their breathing. All day outside alone, at their age, the odds aren’t great. But he’s met enough kittens to know that they’re shockingly resilient little sods, and he’s never given up on a so-called hopeless case before. He’s not about to start now.

“You did the right thing moving them,” he assures the man, moving to flip the sign on the door to CLOSED. “We need to get them warmed up and get some food into them. Body heat is the best thing for them right now—can you start warming them with your hands?”

“Oh—ah, yes,” says the man, turning to his bundle of jumper with a worried frown. Martin leaves him there while he rushes around the shop, grabbing kitten milk replacer and nursing bottles, and then into the back to heat two mugs of water in the microwave while he makes up the bottles. He pops them into the mugs to warm, and brings the whole lot out to the front. The man now has a kitten in each hand, and is holding them pressed carefully to his chest for additional warmth; his expression is still worried, but also desperately tender, and Martin feels a pang of something behind his ribs at the sight.

“One of them is moving,” the man says eagerly as Martin sets the bottles down. Martin can see the gray kitten wriggling weakly in the man’s grip, responding to the heat. Its sibling is still motionless, and Martin’s heart sinks a little.

“That’s great,” he says. “Hold onto her for another minute, and let me see if I can get her sister moving too.”

He holds out a hand, and the man almost reluctantly passes him the black kitten. Martin doesn’t try to notice that the man has lovely hands, with long, slim fingers, narrow wrist jutting out of his shirt sleeve, but, well, he notices a bit. He turns his attention to the kitten; he can’t make out the motion of its breathing anymore. He takes it in both hands and starts to massage it gently. It lies limp in his palms, head lolling, and Martin starts to feel despair crawling cold up his spine.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “You can do it.” The man is watching him anxiously, the gray kitten cradled against his chest, and Martin knows he can’t give up. He keeps rubbing the kitten’s small body, trying to will warmth and life back into the tiny, fragile form. At last, after what seems like an eternity, the kitten squirms in his hands and a faint, plaintive mew escapes it. An answering mew comes from the gray kitten, and Martin laughs, relief washing over him.

“Right, let’s see if we can get them to eat.”

After checking that they’re not too chilled to feed, Martin tests each of the kittens with a drop of formula on their tongue; thankfully they both seem able to swallow without difficulty. He shows the man how to feed the gray kitten, holding its body in a neutral position with the bottle tilted for a gentle flow. It doesn’t take long for the kittens to figure out the process, and Martin can feel the tug on the bottle as his kitten begins to suckle.

“Oh,” he hears softly from beside him, and turns to see the man gazing in delight at the gray kitten, whose tiny, unfurled ears are twitching as it sucks.

“She’s doing great,” Martin comments. “Good job.” The man gives him a tentative, pleased smile, and Martin still isn’t trying to notice but it’s a very nice smile. “I’m Martin, by the way.”

“Jonathan Sims—Jon,” says the man, and then gives a small, tense laugh. “God, I haven’t even apologized for storming in here while you were clearly trying to close up for the night.”

“That’s all right, I didn’t have any exciting plans tonight anyway. I’d much rather be spending time with these little beauties.”

Jon smiles again, more sure this time, and all right, maybe Martin deliberately notices the dimple in his right cheek. Just a bit.

Once the kittens are fed, Martin shows Jon how to stimulate them; both of them only pee a little—poor things are dehydrated—but it’s a good sign. They clean them up and tuck them back into the nest of Jon’s jumper, where they curl up into a small puddle of black and gray. Jon gives a sigh that’s somewhere between relieved and exhausted.

“Thank you,” he says. “I, ah, I think I forgot to say that as well. You know a lot about this.”

“I volunteer at a shelter, there are a lot of kittens. If you like, I can take them for tonight and bring them in tomorrow?”

“Ah,” says Jon. “Do you think that’s—I mean...I-I’m not sure I’d feel right, handing them off to someone else. Not that I think you’re not capable!” he rushes to add, and Martin finds himself smiling.

“No, I get it. You found them, you want to take care of them. I’ll warn you, though, it’s a big commitment. For the first couple of weeks you have to feed them every two hours, even during the night, and then it’s every three or four hours until they start weaning. It’s like having a newborn baby.”

“I don’t get much sleep generally,” says Jon. “At least this way I’ll have something to do while I’m up all night. And my work is—well, I’ll explain the situation.”

He looks set on it, brow furrowed with determination. Martin considers arguing more: that a shelter will be better equipped to care for the kittens, that there’s no guarantee they’ll survive in any case, that Jon doesn’t know what he’s signing up for. But the shelters are always crowded, and kittens this young have simple needs, and really, a dedicated foster parent—armed with the right knowledge—is probably the best thing for them.

“Right,” he says, “Let’s make sure these two are well wrapped up before you take them home.”

He scrounges a cardboard box from the back and they settle the kittens into it, still wrapped in Jon’s jumper along with a soft fleece blanket printed with cartoon fish. Martin gathers a couple of cartons of liquid formula and extra bottles to get them started, and shows Jon how to pierce the nipple so the flow isn’t too strong.

“It should be warmed to body temperature,” he explains, “But not directly in the microwave—put the bottles in heated water, like I did earlier. Do you have a hot water bottle?”

“Yes, I do,” says Jon, frowning intently as he listens. Martin nods.

“It’s better than a heating pad at this age, they’re less likely to get overheated. Don’t make it too hot—body temperature, again—and wrap it in a blanket so they’re not touching it directly.”

“Got it,” says Jon firmly, and Martin believes him. He bags up the formula and bottles and an extra pet blanket, and presses them into the hands of a startled Jon; the till is shut off for the night, but Martin can explain and pay for the items tomorrow.

“What’s your phone number?” he asks, and Jon looks even more startled.

“S-sorry?”

“Or your email. I’m going to send you some links—videos, a couple of good blogs that should be helpful.”

“Oh, ah, right. Of course.” Jon recites his number and Martin saves it under “Jon (Kittens).” He peeks into the box one last time before Jon scoops it up, and sees the kittens snuggled in the folds of the jumper, paws waving in little kitten dreams.

“Thank you again, Martin,” says Jon. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you tonight.” His tone is shy but genuine, and it sends warmth through Martin’s chest and up into his cheeks.

“Any time,” Martin says. “And feel free to text me if you need anything—if you have a question or...anything. Or call me if you like.” He’s aware he’s rambling a bit, but it’s not every day an attractive man says that he doesn’t know what he would have done without you, so he can hardly be blamed.

“I will,” says Jon solemnly.

*

He doesn’t text Martin any questions that night, but when Martin sends him the links to a youtube channel and three blog posts on kitten care, he replies:

Thank you :)

Martin spends most of the rest of the night wondering what that smiley face means.

*

He doesn’t necessarily expect to see Jon again, and certainly doesn’t expect to see him the very next day. But just before one o’clock in the afternoon the bell above the door jingles and there’s Jon, looking tired and more than a bit sheepish.

“I got all the way into work this morning before I realized I’d never paid for any of the things you gave me,” he says, reaching for his wallet.

“Those were gifts,” Martin tells him firmly. “Sort of a “welcome to foster parenthood” care basket?”

“No, I couldn’t let you—” Jon starts to protest, but Martin shakes his head emphatically.

“It’s no big deal, honestly. I get an employee discount anyway.”

“I...well, then I suppose I need to thank you yet again,” says Jon.

“It’s becoming a bit of a habit,” Martin jokes, grinning, and Jon smiles in return. He hesitates a moment before continuing:

“Maybe I could buy you lunch instead, then? To pay you back.”

“There’s no need, honestly,” says Martin, even as his brain berates him: What are you doing, idiot, he’s asking you to have lunch with him? Say yes!

“Please, I’d like to,” Jon says, and then gives a thoughtful frown. “Only if you want to, of course, don’t feel obligated—”

“I’m on lunch in five minutes,” Martin blurts out before he can overthink it.

“Great!” says Jon, sounding pleased. “If you have time, we could go by my office as well and visit the kittens. I just fed them before I came to see you.”

Before I came to see you, not before I came to pay you back, and Martin feels that warmth crawling up towards his cheeks again. Even if Jon’s intentions are purely friendly rather than...anything else, well, Martin could always use more friends.

“How were they last night?” he asks, and the smile that spreads across Jon’s face this time is pure delight.

“Oh I barely got an hour’s sleep,” he says, waving a hand. “And today they’re sitting under my desk reminding me every couple of hours that they need attention and that they are far more important than whatever I’m working on. They’re perfect.”

“Sounds like cat parenthood suits you,” Martin teases gently, and Jon laughs.

“I think it rather does.”

*

Lunch is...nice, and only slightly awkward in the “getting to know a new person” sort of way. Jon is serious, but also funny in an understated, acerbic way, and there’s a gentleness to him that wouldn’t be immediately apparent, if Martin hadn’t seen him cradling two tiny, fragile lives to his chest last night. He’s the kind of person Martin would like to know better, he thinks.

Afterwards they go to Jon’s workplace, which is extremely academic with a brass nameplate by the door and everything, and down to the basement office where Jon works; Martin doesn’t really know what archiving entails, but it looks like mostly a bloody great pile of paperwork. Jon’s two colleagues give Martin friendly and extremely curious glances as they pass; Jon pointedly ignores them in favor of directing Martin to his desk and the cardboard box sitting beneath it.

When Martin glances inside, the two kittens are curled up in the folds of the fish-print blanket, lying against the shape of what he assumes is the hot water bottle. Their bellies already look rounder than they were last night, thanks to regular feeding, and their limbs twitch as they sleep.

“I’ll take them to the vet for a check up after work,” Jon murmurs quietly, gazing down at them with a soft expression. Martin recognizes that look of adoration, and he knows this pair won’t be going to a shelter or anywhere else; they’ve found their home with Jon.

“They’re lucky you found them,” he says, and Jon smiles self-consciously.

“I think I’m the one who was lucky,” he says.

They spend a bit more time with the kittens, and then Martin realizes that it’s about time he got back to work if he doesn’t want to get in trouble. He excuses himself, waving goodbye to Jon’s still curious colleagues, and Jon walks him out to the grand front entrance of the building.

“Thanks again for lunch,” he says. “And—you have my number, right? The offer is open, if you need anything, just text me.”

“I will,” says Jon. “And, ah, let me know if you’d like to come and see the kittens again. Any day. Well, most days,” he corrects himself. “We could, ah, maybe have lunch again?”

“That sounds...really nice,” says Martin. Jon smiles, pleased, and Martin isn’t trying to notice the faint flush that spreads across his face, but it’s very cute anyway.

*

As he walks back to work, Martin’s phone vibrates with a text. It’s a picture of the kittens, curled up on top of each other, with the message:

Come back and see us soon!

Martin grins; the kittens, he thinks, weren’t the only ones lucky to be found last night.

[poguestvff]

Used To The Cold — S. Cameron

In which Sarah Cameron comes to a realization after her girlfriend moves across the country.

taglist | main masterlist | 2.0k words

warning(s): none, fluff, i heart sarah <33

Have you ever lost something that held either so many memories or brought a sort of happiness that just warmed you immediately even at the sight of it? Most people have something like that. Such as for children when it comes to losing stuffed animals or action figures that were a source of comfort, they missed it like hell. Said children grow up and look for a new source of comfort. Some teenagers found it in weed and alchohol, others in sports. For Sarah Cameron, she grew out of the beautiful pink blanket her father had gotten her as a toddler. As she grew into a teenager, she found a new solace.

Her girlfriend.

Sarah made it very apparent to show her love to her girlfriend who, at one point, was just her best friend who she could hardly even bare to be away from. Sarah had known she'd loved Y/n before they even got together by the way Sarah had never felt claustrophobic in the friendship that she held with the other girl. She said the three words within the first six months of being with her, words she had never spoken to another being other than her family. It was a word she, personally, took seriously. For her to say it to Y/n showed the amount of trust she held within her. Trust to not feel so closed off with Y/n.

At the beginning of the relationship, Sarah was glad that not much had changed between the two of them. That Y/n let her have her space whenever she needed it without the dependent need to be together all day though it quickly became backwards. Sarah grew even more clingy to Y/n, hardly able to deal without her hands being stuck to her girlfriend like glue. Whenever they went out to lunch, Sarah played a one sided game of footsies that only brought a smile upon Y/n’s features, one of Sarah’s favorite traits about her. Sarah loved the idea of always having a person to call her own, Y/n seeming to be the one person who could bring out her newfound touchiness. Though, sometimes she pondered on whether Y/n herself was even handling it or if she just ‘put up’ with it. If she did have an indifference towards Sarah’s actions, she surely never showed her disinterest in it.

Though the last time Sarah had held on to her girlfriend felt soul crushing and gut wrenching. As the two of them stood on the creaky, wooden dock just before the ferry, Sarah felt drained. Between the amount of crying she’d done in just the past few days had been enough to make her want to sleep forever and the comfort of her girlfriends arms around her hadn’t helped that feeling. Tears held a steady stream down both of their faces though Sarah was the one who was unable to contain her sobs. People passed around them, solemn looks given to the two of them as they listened in on the sniffles and soft wails.

Y/n didn’t need to be a genius to understand that this was twice as hard for Sarah as it would be for her. Y/n was leaving, miles away that Sarah couldn’t even pin on when the next time she’d being able to hold on to her would be. All she knew was that this embrace that Y/n held on her would be the last one for months and there wasn’t a thing that would be able to make up for it between now and then.

It evoked an indescribable sort of fear within Sarah but she knew it was immutable. If Sarah could, she'd even drop her whole life within Outer Banks to follow her girlfriend across the world. There wasn't much Sarah wouldn't do and there wasn't much Y/n wouldn't do for Sarah either, including the moving date having already been pushed back a month because of Y/n's several arguments with her parents.

"I don't want you to go." sarah whispered as y/n kissed her neck. She could hear the blonde's pained and wavering voice, how affected she already was even as Y/n hadn't even stood on the boat yet.

"I know, lover." the y/h/c girl spoke in a low tone, only sarah able to hear her words of affirmation. Y/n was first to pull back, placing her hands on Sarah's cheeks. The sight of Sarah with puffy eyes and a quivering lip made y/n's heart throb and a guilty feeling blanket over her like a raising tide. "i'll visit. Every chance I get, you know I will."

"It won't be the same." she lamented. Y/n placed her lips against Sarah’s, delicately as if the blonde were made of porcelain. When Y/n's parents had called for her and Ward and Rose had called Sarah away from the dock, Sarah only seemed to want to cling further, fingers pressing further into the thin jacket Y/n worse, but their time had finally run out. Even after weeks of pretending that they had all the time in the world, like nothing could pull the two of them apart, it had happened.

The first few weeks, the whole Cameron house had known Sarah spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep and the entire Y/l/n house knew Y/n was not going to be speaking to them for a little while due to their newest decision. Both groups of parents hadn't known that pulling the duo away from one another would become such a quagmire for each of them.

When Y/n did finally decide to talk to her parents, it was usually to say she was leaving to explore the area in which she refused to get to know the first few days. With a driver license, it gave her just a bit of freedom from her parents who's impromptu decisions had still caused for a tearing in their familial relationship.

Y/n sat in her parked car, a hot beverage in hand to adjust to the cold in which she'd just stood in for five minutes. All of it for a drink that wasn't even that good in her opinion but she dealt with it. With the hand not holding the steaming drink, she opened her phone, smiling immediately at the photo of her and sarah as her background. She unlocked it, scrolling around to find Sarah's contact and setting her phone up against the dashboard. While it began to ring, Y/n situated herself to begin to drive. "Hi, Y/n/n!" Sarah shouted excitedly the second she'd answered.

At her tone of voice did Y/n laugh. The enthusiasm was no surprise but it was funny to Y/n every time. "Hi, baby." She replied, fhe smile remaining on her face as she looked towards the screen. Sarah sat at her desk, her hands under her jaw though a pencil between her fingers. She had focused all of her attention from the papers in front of her to the driver on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing?"

The sound of whizzing paper had made Y/n glance to the phone seeing a math sheet now replacing Sarah's face before she placed it back down, a frown appearing on her features. "Math."

"Didn't you just start like two days ago?" Y/n asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yes and this teacher is an absolute bitch. You're just lucky you don't start for another week. You would hate Mr. Henley."

Y/n let out an awfully dramatic gasp. "Um, hello, Mr. Henley was literally my home room teacher last year, I'll have you know. Show some respect." She said, almost missing Sarah's chagrined look as she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side here."

"Sorry, i don't believe in biases, Sar." She joked for sarah to let out a small snicker.

"So tell me, how's minnesota?" Sarah asked, trying to spark up a conversation even if the distance was the same thing she wanted to keep her mind off of.

"Oh, it's so great. So many hot people." she remarked.

"You're not funny, no one has ever found you funny." Sarah replied though unable to hold in her laugh along with her girlfriend. "I'm serious. we haven't talked much about it and i don't want to like... avoid your new life now."

Y/n sighed, looking towards the phone to see Sarah looking back down at her work in front of her. "Fine. Well, it doesn't particularly suck. The no surfing part definitely does, though, but what can you do. And the coffee here... no, its just so bad, babe. granted, i only had one, and it's in my cup holder right now but it's gross."

"My coffee making is better, right?" Sarah asked as Y/n gave a hefty nod.

"So much better, even if it is the only thing you're good at making." Y/n laughed and Sarah attempted to refuse a smile, her cheeks quivering from trying to keep it down. "But the weather dropped today, randomly. It was seventy yesterday, fifty today but i think i'm getting used to the cold."

Sarah lifted her head back to the phone, watching Y/n focus on driving, her eyes diverting on places away from the screen. Sarah but at her inner cheek, drumming her fingers against the white wood that rested under her forearms. "Used to it?" Sarah asked. She knew Y/n's move was permanent at least until she was eighteen but something about those words made it seem more realistic. She was getting used to a place that wasn't home.

Y/n hummed. "Yeah, i'm probably being dramatic. I saw a guy walking around in a tank top and shorts while i'm wearing double pair of socks right now." she grinned at her own comment though picking up on Sarah's sudden discomfort when she replied with a small 'wow'. "Lover?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Y/n asked, the car slowing to a stop at a red light.

Sarah quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Just... the work. Keep your eye on the road."

"Sarah." The blond recognized the tone of voice quickly.

"Just... I just fully realized how permanent this is. I won't see you until, what? December? That's a long time, Y/n! And, i get it, it's your home now and i can't do anything about it but—"

Y/n was quick to cut her off. "I never said this is home. Sure I live here but it's just a couple walls and a roof. It's not home, Sarah." Y/n began. "Home is you. And trust me, i've been missing home the second i got on that ferry."

Despite them having to look at one another through a glass screen the feeling—the connection between the two of them was still felt. Sarah could feel the normal warm feeling she would've gotten whenever Y/n would simply hold her hand or brush her hair over her ear. she held that much of an effect on Sarah in person and somehow even thousands of miles away.

Sarah hadn't even realized she had been staring for a total of twenty seconds until a singular tear fell down her blushing cheeks. she quickly sniffled, recomposing herself as she wiped it away. "Are you seriously making me cry right now?" She muttered with the way the atmosphere had become though relishing in the way Y/n laughed in response.

"Yes, thank you for ignoring everything i just said, lover." Y/n put the car back in drive as the light went green. Due to the steets being relatively empty in her new small town, she took the time to look back over at the phone to Sarah. "I love you."

Sarah's smile widened in thag very moment, pursing her lips before pushing them out. "I love you more."

"And don't worry. I won't get to used to it. I'll be back home, to you, before you even know it." Y/n took a small glance to the phone, enjoying Sarah's gaze that showed even with the distance put between the two of them, they'd be fine.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: What Spring Does To The Cherry Trees, Chapter 11

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Narcos

Ship: Javier Peña/OFC (Eva)

Words: 5,365

Tags/warnings (whole thing): slow burn, h/c, a bit of violence (nothing as bad as canon), guns, knife injury, pain and suffering, the loss of a parent (both actually), angst, ptsd, javi being a lil prick but also soft!, (safe) piv sex, masturbation (female AND male), fingering, unprotected piv sex (in the words of the Spice Girls: be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on), pregnancy risk, death of an animal, talk of cancer, so much internal conflict, insomnia, killing coyotes, snake bite, oh my god just get over yourselves already, some eye fucking if you squint, yearningggggggg, descriptions of food, jealousy, oh NOW he has a condom good boy javi, cunnilingus, panic attack, trauma, sexual trauma, trust issues, description of past sexual harassment and assault, descriptions of combat, fellow soldier killed in action, talk about STDs, SO MANY FEELINGSSSSS, confession time, guilt, yo LOVE is mentioned!!

Summary for the whole thing: Javier Peña has resigned from the DEA and is back at his dad’s ranch in Texas. Life is slow and uneventful, until an unfamiliar face shows up at the local watering hole one night. Eva is retired from the army and lives in her old pickup truck with more than one ghost. She’s looking for ranch work and when her path crosses Javier’s, maybe they can help each other along in their lives?

Chapter summary: Javi is still not done confessing his sins to Eva, and they have an actual date night.

A/N: I know I said there was only one chapter left, but guess what, I need another chapter. So after this one there is only one chapter left!

Taglist: @chronic-nosebleed, @flora-screeches, @stevie75, @a-trial-run-on-paper, @mswarriorbabe80 @paulalikestuff @apascalrascal @tanzthompson

The bright day has cooled down into dark evening when Javi joins Eva on the porch, handing her a cold post-dinner beer.

“I was just on my way in, actually,” she murmurs as he sits down in the other wicker chair. “I’m exhausted.” She nevertheless opens the beer and takes a sip.

“It’s been quite a day, hasn’t it?” he agrees and takes a sip of the beer. “But I wanted to talk to you.”

“Haven’t you talked enough today?” she asks poignantly, but she only sounds weary, not annoyed. Javi throws her a smile, noticing that she has pulled her legs up under her in the chair.

“You cold? I can get you a blanket.”

“Thank you,” she smiles softly, “but I’m good.”

He nods and looks out over the dark yard. Nocturnal insects buzz around the porch, the zapper killing them off when they try to get close to the titillating lights. Apart from that, it’s quiet and still, the moon a crescent among the stars above them.

Eva sighs deeply, ending the exhale in a yawn. Javi feels that same tiredness in his bones. It seems like a week ago that he had Eva with him in his room, and it was only last night. It’s late and he desperately wants to sleep, but there’s something he needs to do first. Something more he needs to tell her.

“Did you know that I was engaged once upon a time?” he queries in a low voice. To his relief and shock alike, Eva hums in affirmation.

“And that I walked out on her the day before the wedding, and fucked off to Colombia?”

“I heard some things, yes.” Her voice is toneless, like she doesn’t want to be reminded of the time she heard these things. “Javi, that’s a long time ago, and it doesn’t really affect me in any way. I’m not looking to marry you.”

He chuckles. “I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or a good thing.”

Eva shoots him a tired grimace, but he sees the amusement there as well. He likes that, likes that they can joke about things like marriage.

A coyote howls in the distance and Eva frowns a little. He can tell she’s making a mental note of checking the grounds tomorrow.

“There’s more,” he finally confesses.

“Figures.”

“I told you I went to Laredo today,” he begins, and Eva nods.

“You went to the library, yeah.”

“I didn’t spend the whole day at the library. I went someplace else first.”

She looks at him across the small table between the chairs, waits for him to continue. He now understands how she must have felt last night when he was staring at her and waiting for her to speak.

“I did something I should have done a long time ago. I… went to a clinic and got myself checked.”

Eva frowns and Javi can only imagine the myriad of thoughts going through her head.

“I slept around a lot when I was stationed in Colombia,” he confesses. “And I wasn’t always careful.”

Her jawline grows tight, but she nods slowly. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. And about that time… you know.”

“By the truck, on the day Chucky died,” she fills in tonelessly. “You should have told me.”

“I know. I should have done a lot of things.”

“That’s for damn sure.”

She’s ruthless, but not vicious. He deserves to be chewed out harder than this.

“There’s more,” he confesses, and Eva turns to the darkness of the yard with a sigh.

“A bunch of illegitimate children in Colombia?” she asks rhetorically and lifts the bottle to her lips. Javi snorts, simultaneously amused and horrified.

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Out with it.”

He looks down at the bottle in his hands, tries to find the right words. He doesn’t want to smooth it over, but a tiny part of him is still desperate to make it sound as harmless as possible. Lower the chances of her hating him.

“I used a lot of women. As informants. As… pastimes. They depended on me, and I took advantage of that.”

The shame is a pressure on his chest, a heartburn that rises in his throat. He can’t look at her but focuses instead of the label of the bottle, picks at it so that it comes off in small, soggy pieces.

“You ever take anyone against their will?” Eva asks quietly. Javi winces, hating that she’s pushing the subject, knowing she has every right to ask him that.

“How consensual is it if you sell yourself for money, and someone’s paying?” he points out acidly, then shakes his head. “I never forced myself on anyone. I believe I treated them as well as I could. I paid them handsomely. I… thought I cared for them.”

He bites back on the rest of his excuses, because that’s all they are, these pathetic reasons of his.

Eva sighs again, deeply, before taking another sip of her beer. The silence is thick between them before she speaks.

“You know that soldiers go to brothels a lot?”

Javi nods. Yes, he’s aware of that. The same went for consulate employees. At least half of the men he met in the sunlit, clean-scrubbed corridors of power, he also glimpsed in the unsavory, badly lit houses of ill repute in the backstreets of Bogotá.

“Can’t say I wouldn’t have gone, too, had I been a man. But there’s no service for women in those places and besides, a woman in the armed forces has all eyes on her. She’s not allowed to slip up, not in any way.”

Now she looks at him, and Javi forces himself to meet her gaze. The porch lights are reflected in the golden flecks of her irises and for a moment, he gets lost in the light.

“We do fucked up shit when we’re under pressure,” she tells him. It’s not an absolution, nor is it a blessing. It’s simply stating the facts, a recognition of fragile human nature and unfortunate circumstances.

“I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not my job to forgive you for this, Javi.”

Eva puts her bottle on the table between them.

“Thanks for the beer. Good night.”

“Good night.”

He’s left sitting by himself on the porch, a yawn growing in his mouth until he releases it and rubs at his eyes. He’s beat but doesn’t want to fall asleep from this feeling, the sense of things falling into order after hard work. He’s ashamed, yes, and afraid of what Eva thinks of him now, but he knows that telling her was the right thing to do.

He wasn’t planning on telling her this yet. There was so much else to digest first, for both of them. But then he passed by the Laredo Public Library earlier and ended up on the parking lot outside. As he walked in, he realized why he was there: he needed to show Eva he cared. He needed to speak her language.

So, he found the poetry section, traced his finger along the spines of the books until he reached a tome of Neruda’s poetry, and he pulled it out and flicked through the pages, unsure of where to start because he didn’t have time to read the whole thing.

And that’s when he happened upon it, that poem which, with his non-existent knowledge of poetry, summarized his feelings for Eva:

Every day you play with the light of the universe.

Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water,

You are more than this white head that I hold tightly

as a bunch of flowers, every day, between my hands.

He read it through, heart beating wildly, his forehead growing shiny, like he was reading something obscene. It was like the first time he and his boyhood friend, twelve years old, looked in a dirty magazine. It was like finding a piece of evidence that brought him one step closer to catching the man he spent a decade hunting. Every word hit home, and by the time he reached the last sentence of the poem, he was already leaving in his mind, driving back to Big River to whisk Eva off her feet.

Which he, of course, would never do, unless he wanted her to put a bullet in his head.

He put the book back, walked out to his truck, drove to a coffee shop where he nursed a big cup of black coffee for almost an hour as he tasted the words of Neruda. He hoped to God his tests would come back clean. He wished he knew how to make her stay. His only thoughts were of her and what he still needed to tell her.

Then he drove home, heart in his throat, music playing loudly in a futile attempt to drown out his thoughts.

The front door opens and the hinges of the screen door whine slightly. Javi looks up, hoping for Eva but finding Chucho standing between the two doors.

“Mijo,” the old man says simply. “Come on in, it’s getting cold.”

“Yes, pops.” Javi stands up, stretches until a couple of joints pop, then grabs the two bottles. His jeans hang a little despite the belt, and he realizes that he’s lost a little weight despite his newfound appetite for home-cooked meals.

Chucho doesn’t move away from the door, and Javi raises a brow.

“Dad?”

“You look so much like your mother,” Chucho sighs, a touch of wistfulness in his voice. “You have her kindness, too. And tenacity.”

“No, pops, the tenacity comes from you,” Javi replies with a wry smile. Chucho mirrors it.

“All right, I’ll give you that one. But the rest of you… is all her. You got all of her good parts. I’m glad you did.”

“Thanks, dad.”

Chucho nods quickly, and steps to the side to usher Javi inside.

“Come on now, in with you, let me lock the door.”

He busies himself with the doors, turns the lock of the front door. Javi watches him with affection. His relationship with his father hasn’t always been an easy one, but they’re finding their way.

Chucho grunts as he rolls his shoulders back, and they walk towards their bedrooms together.

“You’re a handsome man,” Chucho tells him, patting his shoulder. “You lost weight? You should straighten your back, don’t be afraid to show how tall you are. Good, handsome man like you.”

“Go to bed, pops.”

“Yeah, yeah. Good night.”

Smiling to himself, Javi leaves his father by his bedroom door and proceeds down the hall to the bathroom, where he brushes his teeth. A little later he’s in his bed, drifting off under the covers, when he hears a soft tap on his door. Without waiting for an answer, Eva comes in, dressed like she was last night: panties and a top.

Words are useless. Javi scoots over and pulls the covers to the side so that she can join him in the warm sheets.

///

There is a shift in the weather, and the slaughter nears. The chosen animals are brought to the verdant pastures closer to the ranch and fattened up with additional grain. Buyers come and look at them, nod their approval, checks change hands. Eva stays clear of all of that, busies herself with other things. There’s always something to do on a ranch.

She and Javi take up their habit of sitting on the porch together, quietly having a beer while waiting for Chucho to retire for the night. When the old man i in his room, Javi follows Eva to the cabin, where the bed is too narrow for two to sleep in but serves well enough for sex. The old springs may creak like they’re on their last legs – which they are – but without the worry of waking anybody up, it doesn’t bother either one of them. Eva knows that Chucho isn’t stupid: he’s fully aware of what’s going on. She can’t, however, be open about this. That would make it Serious, and that’s not something she can handle. No strings attached is a lot better.

Javi’s an engaged and attentive lover, as good with his hands as he is with his mouth. He wants everything but is equally giving. Eva wonders if he’s always been like that. Did he go down on the women in Colombia as he goes down on her, losing himself in the apex of her thighs? Did he stare as mesmerized into the eyes of his informants when they rode him, as he gazes into her eyes in the moonlit room when she rolls her hips against his, his cock filling her deliciously? When fucking them from behind, did he pull them up, crashing their backs into his broad chest, and tease their clit until they screamed? Did he cover their sweaty backs with kisses when they finally collapsed before him, exhausted and satisfied?

Or is she special?

Eva has no need to be special. She has a past, just as Javi. What matters is that she’s enjoying her present, without any thoughts of what has been or what will be.

Javi, of course, has to break that spell. He ruins the post-coital relaxation one night by asking her if she’s come any closer to a decision.

“No,” Eva answers immediately, dismissively. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sooner or later, you have to decide.”

“Sooner or later, I will. But not now.”

He’s clearly not happy with that, she can tell from his frown and pursed lips. Briskly, Eva leaves her reclined position on one end of the bed, while Javi sits up on the other end. He watches her collect her clothes, discarded all around the room by eager hands that have no thought of order or future, only of touching skin.

“It’s getting late, I need sleep,” she tells him. “By myself.”

“Okay.”

He has accepted that sometimes she will share a bed with him, sometimes not. She’s thankful for his ability to keep it simple.

Slowly, he gets up as well, catches his jeans that she tosses to him. No underwear  is to be found; he often goes without, she finds. She never would have thought that of him. Or maybe it’s just exactly like him.

He got a letter in the mail from the clinic a couple of days ago, informing him that all his tests were clean. Eva noticed a change in him after that. He started taking more initiative, became more bold, greedier. She liked it, liked that he didn’t let her past stop him from enjoying her for fear of triggering her trauma. He respectfully avoided being on top of her, seemingly happy with her being on top, or him being behind.

Before they leave the cabin, Javi grabs her arm and pulls her to him. His kiss is equal parts searing and tender, a thanks for tonight as well as a I want you to remember this until next time. Eva pushes her fingers through his thick hair, tugging at the back, and bites his lower lip. Javi grunts, breaking the kiss, only to be met by her teasing smile.

“You’re enjoying that,” he grins at her.

“And why shouldn’t I?”

She releases his hair and steps back, adjusting her clothing.

“Hey.” Javi puts his hands on his narrow hips, looks down and then peers at her. He wants something, she knows that by now from his body language.

“What?”

“There’s this… homecoming thing in town the weekend after next. Kind of a fair, the whole town goes there. Food and booths, live music, things like that.”

He looks almost shy when he licks his lower lip nervously, glancing at her. “You wanna come?”

“With you, you mean? Like a date?”

“Doesn’t have to be that. I just figured we could both use a night away from here.”

His hurry to reassure her about the invitation’s informal character is endearing, and Eva decides to be kind.

“Sure, why not.”

The smile underneath his mustache is shy, his eyes glitter when they crinkle. “Great.”

///

The week leading up to the homecoming festivities is slaughter week. Javi has never paid it much attention before but with Eva at the ranch, he’s forced to face the reality of it.

She spends her days away from the ranch, out in the fields with the remaining cattle, and doesn’t come home until the mobile slaughter unit has left for the day. Javi imagines he can smell the blood in the air, and if he can, then she certainly does. She’s inconsistent all week; either practically dragging him into the cabin at night, fucking him with abandon, or avoiding him altogether, disappearing into her room after dinner. When he tries to talk to her, she claims to be okay. Suspecting that this inconsistency is not just because of the slaughter, he allows her to be erratic. He recognizes that she’s not doing it to be mean, but because she doesn’t know how to handle the situation.

When Saturday comes, Javi expects Eva to tell him she’s not coming. Chucho rules that the workday is shorter so that they can shower and change clothes – he’s going into town as well – and Eva nods, seemingly still on board with the idea.

When the afternoon turns into a mild evening, Javi is waiting in the living-room, still unsure if Eva is going to show up. When she comes out of Lana’s room, dressed in a simple brown skirt and a beautiful white huipil blouse, embroidered with flowers in pink and green, Javi fails to produce words. Her hair falls down her shoulders and back, rendering her whole appearance softer.

“Too much?” Eva asks when Javi struggles to say something at the sight of her. He shakes his head, finds his tongue.

“Perfect. You clean up real nice.”

Her smile is a little wry, like she finds his clumsy compliment amusing. But she also looks him over in appreciation, so he guesses they’re even, and that his flannel, jeans, and boots are good enough.

They drive into town in Javi’s truck, and he’s aghast to find that he’s nervous. It’s like his first date all over again.

Except this isn’t a date, of course. And it bears no resemblance to his first date, anyway: his first date was filled with the prattle of an equally nervous girl. They talked about the school’s football team, the latest crime movie Javi had seen.

Eva doesn’t talk. She sits in her usual silence, the one Javi has grown accustomed to, and watches the empty fields rush by. When they come closer to town and people begin to show up, a wariness appears in her eyes.

The main event is in and around the park in the middle of town. Fairy lights are  strung up in the trees, a portion of the lawn has been floored for dancing, vendors sell street food, a high school band is playing soft rock in a gazebo.

Javi and Eva spend the first hour walking around, looking at the stalls for different games, stopping every minute for Javi to greet people. Everybody knows everybody in Santa Cruz, and everybody is curious about the woman he is with. He keeps it brief, doesn’t volunteer any other information than Eva’s name and occupation at the ranch, but he knows how the talk will go. Downside to living in a small town.

They spot Chucho and some relatives on rickety lawn chairs, enjoying beers out of plastic cups, and Johnny with his arm thrown around the shoulders of a petite blonde that Javi vaguely recognizes as some old high school buddy’s daughter. Getting wraps and beers, they sit down with Chucho and the aunts, uncles, and cousins who immediately take an interest in Eva. To her credit, she smiles politely, evades nosy questions elegantly, and when Chucho comes to her rescue and starts talking about something else, she gratefully fades into the background. She has a knack for that, for becoming invisible whenever she wants to. Javi suggests they move on as soon as they have eaten, and Eva quickly agrees. They walk around some more, winding up at a duck shooting stall where another distant cousin of Javi’s challenges him to shoot at the metallic, faded yellow ducks. Javi, never having been much of a shot and not feeling like having his ass handed to him in public, resists until Eva steps up.

“I’ll defend your honor,” she states calmly, almost indifferently, and Javi accepts gladly. He has a feeling she knows what she’s doing and he has no problem with her taking his place. His hunch proves right: she fires the five rounds in quick succession, each of them hitting the target with a satisfying tick! Rewarded with a huge teddy bear that she subsequently re-gifts to Javi’s cousin’s little girl, she shrugs at the murmured praise from the surrounding crowd.

“Let’s go,” she tells Javi, and he follows her away from the stall. They take their refuge  to the outskirts of the park, away from the blinking lights, music, and people.

“Were you always a good shot, or did you learn in the army?” he asks her when they are strolling along the empty street. Eva shrugs again.

“Dad taught me how to handle a rifle when I was very young. The more intense practice came during boot camp, I guess.”

She looks at him, brows raised. “You never shot anyone?”

“Not small, moving targets like that.” Now it’s Javi’s turn to raise his shoulders in a gesture of indifference. “But I have fired at human beings, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it? You know you have to do it, you know what happens if you don’t, but… they’re still people.” Eva sighs deeply. “You know… when Gary was shot… I was supposed to be on the lookout. I did notice some people in the distance, shepherds, ordinary people just trying to go about their business, watching their goats. You decide, Gary said, take the shot or don’t. I trust your judgment. I didn’t take the shot. Turns out, the people I spared did.”

She looks desolate and Javi allows his fingers to touch her hand as they walk. Nothing too obvious, nothing too committing, but just to show her that he is here.

“The alternative wasn’t much better,” he points out quietly. “Kill or be killed.”

“I don’t want to be the kind of person who shoots just in case,” she states firmly. “And I have to live with the consequences.”

“What happened to your friend is not your fault, Eva.” Javi truly believes that but finds it hard to apply the same logic on his own guilty conscience. What happened to Colonel Carillo still feels like his fault, no matter how much time passes. He’s not ready to talk about that yet.

The evening suddenly feels chilly and dreadful, so they steer back towards the festivities. A young girl dressed  like a hippie is fronting the band in the gazebo, performing the Fleetwood Mac classic Go Your Own Way. Javi feels Eva sway a little next to him. He watches her profile as she moves softly to the song, her eyes fixed on the singer. Her lips are slightly parted and there is a hint of a smile pulling them up. The soft glow of the fairy string lights gilds her skin and make her eyes shine.

She’s so fucking pretty. He never noticed it before. Or maybe he did: every time he saw her in the saddle, smiling while telling him how bad he is at using a lasso, every time he caught her feeding apples to the cows. In bed, lost in passion or sleeping deeply next to him. This is just a new layer; her enjoying a song about breaking up, like it’s a great love song about sticking together.

The song ends and she claps her hands. The lead singer smiles and leans towards the microphone, beginning the next song, also very familiar, and a lot slower.

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days…

Javi doesn’t really know how he ends up with his arms around Eva, her hands resting softly on his shoulders, bodies moving together in a slightly awkward rhythm at first before coming together in a common sway. It’s strange to slow dance with Eva, but right. To be this close to her, in their own little cocoon among all the people… Nothing has ever been so right. The song is melodramatic, but the singer is good, her strong voice falling to a whisper on the appropriate notes.

Her hair smells of hay and shampoo, her body is warm and pliable against him, and he doesn’t even notice the other couples dancing around them. There’s only Eva and him, and the music.

When the song ends, Eva leans her cheek to Javi’s.

“Wanna get out of here?” she murmurs into his ear, and even if this is a perfect moment, such a normal moment, just a person falling in love with another person, Javi feels a tightening in his groin. He nods. Yes, he wants to get out of here. He wants to take her home and make her scream.

They push through the increasingly inebriated crowd, Javi leading the way with his broad shoulders, Eva following, her hand on his lower back, as if she’s afraid of letting go of him, yet not comfortable holding his hand.

The thought of walking hand in hand with Eva is almost ridiculous but he believes in this moment that it can be done.

They’re almost through the worst crowd when he feels the loss of her touch and turns his head. Eva has stopped, and is staring over to her left, jaw set tightly, lips pursed. Javi retreats a couple of steps, coming back to her.

“What?”

Her eyes are burning underneath knitted eyebrows, and he follows her gaze across the crowd, searching for whatever it is she has laid her eyes on. When he finds it, he understands her fury.

It’s the asshole who stole her truck. Junior.

The young man is standing within a circle of friends, beer can in hand, laughing about something. His gestures suggest he’s had a few already.

Javi places a hand on Eva’s arm, feeling the tense muscles underneath the fabric of the blouse.

“Come on,” he tells her in a low voice. “It’s not worth it.”

“I never got to punch him in the face for taking my truck and slashing me with a fucking knife,” she mutters. Javi can feel her whole body vibrating with the need to settle the score here and now. He considers telling her that the guy has already been decked once but isn’t sure how she’d handle that. It’s better to just defuse the situation and get her home.

“Evenin’, folks.”

They both turn their heads towards the authoritative voice of an older man and spot sheriff Wilson standing right next to them. Eva’s shoulders square immediately.

“Sheriff,” Javi nods at the older man, his fingers closing around Eva’s arm. “Good night for it, right?”

“Depends on what’s on the agenda, doesn’t it, Peña?” The sheriff is addressing him but looking at Eva. “Are we all right here?”

“Sure, why?” Javi stares at the sheriff, now starting to feel the same rage he can sense in Eva. Piece of shit racist asshole.

“Just checking to see that there will be no trouble here tonight.”

“We were just leaving,” Javi tells him between clenched teeth, just as Eva takes a step forward.

“And why would there be trouble?” she challenges the sheriff, who clearly did not expect the hostility and needs to gather himself for a second.

“Now look here, missy…”

“Don’t you missy me,” she tells him sternly, using the soldier voice. The stay clear or I will shoot voice. She’s an inch taller than the sheriff, and now she bores her eyes into him. “Maybe you should focus more on the drunks who are nowhere near calling it a night, and let honest folk go about their business.”

Without waiting for an answer, she pushes past the sheriff, Javi quickly following while fighting hard to keep his smug smirk from showing until they’re clear of the sheriff.

“Honest folk wouldn’t know anything about Andy Junior showing up bruised and beaten right after being released from custody?”

Javi stops and turns back to the sheriff. A few people around them seem interested in the exchange but pretend not to hear anything when Javi glares at them.

“What are you implying?”

“Just asking if you’ve seen anything suspicious. Kid won’t say nothing.”

Javi takes a step towards the sheriff, straightening his back to reach his full height.

“He was on drugs, he cut her with a knife and threatened her with a gun, then took her truck,” he calmly tells the sheriff. “We’re staying as far away from him as we can.”

With that, he turns back to Eva whose face is filled with rage, and takes her to the truck.

“Pendejo,” she swears as she slams the passenger door shut and grabs the seatbelt buckle. “That fucking asshole.”

“It’s not you, he’s always been like that.”

“And that makes it okay?” Eva turns to him, eyes blazing.

“That’s not what I said.”

She does calm down after that, and as Javi drives them out of town, he wishes he could get back to what he felt when they were dancing.

“I shouldn’t have provoked him, though,” Eva finally sighs. “That was stupid of me, wasn’t it?”

Javi scoffs. “He needed to hear it. Don’t worry. He can’t do anything.”

“Except start digging into who I am and find out why I left the military…”

Javi glances at her. “That’s why you didn’t press charges, right? To keep off everyone’s radar?”

She nods, and meets his eyes in the gathering dark, as the streetlamps are left behind them.

“Did you punch him?”

“Hm?” Javi pretends to not understand. He was filled with a sense of righteousness and fury when he knocked that doped-up daddy’s boy on his ass. He did it for her, but she doesn’t need to know about it. She would probably not like it, headstrong and independent as she is. Eva doesn’t need a knight in jeans and cowboy boots.

“Sheriff said the kid had been beaten. Was that you?”

She’s staring hard at him now and Javi cracks almost immediately.

“Yeah, that was me. That morning you gave your statement to the sheriff. I went to get smokes and saw him in the shop. Told him to stay away from you, and then I… well, I decked him.”

“But why?”

“Because he deserved it for what he did to you.”

She turns back to face the dark road, and Javi waits for the scolding that is certain to come. He’s wrong, however: her hand finds his thigh, and presses it.

“Thank you,” she tells him quietly.

“Don’t mention it.”

He focuses on the road that keeps appearing before the truck a little at a time in the surrounding darkness, the headlights illuminating their way home.

Home. How he wishes it could be her home as well. He wants her to stay, wants to see how this affair is going to unfold. He dares not dream of what constitutes a normal life in these parts: dating, sharing a bed like couples do, eventually marriage, kids, his father writing over ownership of the ranch to him… That’s not in his stars, he knows that. But something akin to it? Some kind of peace, maybe even redemption. Not that Eva owes him that, no, he’s not going to use her to forgive himself.

He just likes the person he is when he is with her.

Eva’s hand is slowly sliding up his thigh and lands over his crotch.

“Javi?” Her voice is low, thick.

“Yeah?”

“Pull over.”

His skin prickles over as he slows down and comes to a stop at the side of the road.

[testingcheats0n]

Massive Dream SMP Fic Rec!!

Hey- Hi, I just feel like there are a ton of fanfiction that's really underrated in this fandom- so I'm going to dump it on your dash!!! Most of it is going to be Tommy-centric or SBI-centric, but they are very good!

Source: Me

Finished Fanfics:

Multi-chaptered Fanfics:

that's, like, a hundred miles by No_one_you_know

Dream would kill him. Dream was going to kill him- he was going to- no, he wouldn’t. Dream was his friend- friends don’t hit each other- Dream was supposed to take care of him- Dream /was/ taking care of him.

It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. He couldn’t clear his thoughts as he stumbled to the family computer, pulling up a tab on google and frantically typing the name into the search bar.

The words Technoblade Watson stared back at him, the little black bar at the end of the letters blinking slowly, mocking him.

Why, of all people, did it have to be Technoblade?

in short: the one where dream sucks as a parental figure, tommy runs away, and visits his least favorite family member technoblade

Hard-hitting, but has a happy ending, though I recommend reading the prequel (in the same series) first, otherwise, it's lowkey depressing.

MORE RECOMMENDATIONS BELOW THE CUT!!

you’ll rise above (crowned by an overture bold and beyond) by azvremoon

Tommy is not sixteen. He has faced too many open wounds, dripping ichor onto blood-stained warzones, to be just a child. He is Blood and War and needless Death, an all-in-one special of everything that can ruin reality.

(Tommy is the blood god. No one should know, but this server can't stop pushing him over the edge.)

+2 more Works that were Inspired by this one

Tommy is a BAMF and Dream, Technblade, and Phil get fucked it is what it is.

Responsible Forever by SilverWing15

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.” /////

“So,” Techoblade says, slow and deliberate, his face shows clearly just how unbelievable he finds all of this, “you saw a boy last night, in the middle of the night, living with raccoons and eating our garbage?”

“I know how insane it sounds,” Phil says, “but I know what I saw. We need to help him, who knows how long he’s been out here?”

“Okay,” Wilbur interrupts, “let’s say that raccoon-boy is real. What is it you want us to do? We can’t go searching the woods for specific bunch of raccoons, I don’t know if you’ve noticed Phil but there are a lot of them out there.”

“Going out and hunting him isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Techno says, “we have to let the raccoon-boy come to us. He’s already come once, you know how tenacious raccoons are. If they came to the garbage pit once, they’ll come again. We just have to set a trap.”

“Those raccoons aren’t gonna know what fucking hit them,” Wilbur mutters.

Or: RaccoonInnit taken well beyond its logical conclusion

Tommyinnit is a Raccoon boi that lives with other Raccoons

Protecting the Traumatised Youth by spookyserpent

Sam blinks. “What?”

Even behind the mask, Sam has the distinct impression that Dream is grinning at him. “A week and he was begging for my attention, even after I stole and burnt his armour, even after the beatings. He couldn’t stand me leaving him because I was the only one to show up, to pay him attention. It was hilarious.”

Sam is going to be sick.

Or, Sam decides to ask Dream about his intentions and ends up becoming a big brother to Tommy and Tubbo. All the while, Dream and George fight, Niki and Jack plan child murder and Ranboo is slowly getting adopted into the SBI.

Awesamdad written back when it was possible... ahhh

Chaos In a Bottle by Lovetribable

After a realization, Tommy leaves the pillar, but instead of going to Techno. He just disappears, leaving everyone to think he's gone.

It takes a war to bring him back.

+2 Sequels and an Alternative Ending

Dadinnit!! + A Sympathetic Dream

Absolutely Anything For Them by Numanum

“There’s a lot you don’t understand, Tubbo,” Dream sighs, meeting his eyes cooly. Tubbo, back against a tree, shudders at his tone, at the look on his face.

The sword at his neck skims across his skin as Dream shifts his grip on it, and he flinches back into the rough bark behind him. Dream smiles at his reaction, seeming pleased- like the cat that’s been toying with a mouse that always tries to run no matter how many times it’s caught. And, despite this being his first encounter alone with the man, he thinks that the comparison is fairly accurate; Tubbo has never felt smaller than he does now. There’s supposed to be a buddy system to prevent things like this- he shouldn’t be alone here, stuck in this situation.

Or: Tubbo becomes a traitor to save everyone and has to struggle with his choices

Traitor Tubbo, but it has the happiest ending possible since it follows the rest of the story.

Where Did You Come From, Kit? by KadeAK (zacixn)

Hybrids are an ancient species of humans crossed with animals, blessed with the favour of nature. They used to live in peace on the SMP’s land, but ever since the dawn of humanity’s modern culture, they have become ostracised and hunted by their once-brethren. Now, the once-thriving subspecies of hybrids have been reduced to ashes, the majority of their peoples struggling to survive in a city capital that can't stand their presence.

To the members of L’Manburg, General Wilbur Soot is just another mildly prejudiced human being, stuck with a hybrid fox kit for an adopted child. However, that assumption could not be farther from the truth. As it turns out, there's a reason why he is the man he is today.

This fic is entirely pre-L’Manburg.

Part of a series, very good.

Take It Easy by sweet_magnolias

Five times Techno scared Michael, one time Michael scared him, and the resolution of those fears.

AKA - Techno learns how to be an uncle.

Technoblade's POV, so expect some Tubbo bashing on the margins of all that Michael fluff.

I suppose it’s never my time to die, is it? by Birb_Whale

The first time it happens, he barely remembers. The second time is when he realized. The third... Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern

“It’s not your time to die yet, Tommy”

Messed up, but not unrealistic. Purely for the Hurt/Comfort lovers.

This Wasn't Planned, But It'll Work Out by Anonymous

Dream isn't sure what to think when he finds a kid on his doorstep, but he can't just leave him there, now can he?

(He doesn't know what he's getting into, or what he's gotten the kid into, either)

Long, and angsty, with a bittersweet ending Imo.

let's play a game by Aria_Cinabun

Tommy was once a slave. That's gone now - shoved in his past with the memories of blood and gore and death. He wants to forget who he was; what he has to do to survive. Of course, the Elementalists will always come back to haunt him. They aren't the ones who killed his mother, but they're close enough. And now he and his brother have been dragged into the mess, as Elementalists with their own, separate covens, to find the Pit - the place where he'd lived and killed and hurt for the first twelve years of his life. His coven can't know. Can't know who he really is, what he can really do. Can't know anything about his past. He doesn't want a coven full of Elementalists who don't trust him; one of whom he's pretty sure despises him. He doesn't want that life. He wants the life of a pickpocket, on the streets, because nobody questions street kids, and nobody comes asking about his past and pushes him to tell his secrets that he holds closest inside. Tubbo tries to tell him to trust people. But trust is how you die.

Good fantasy AU, has SBI, and is thus fluffy.

Turn of the Tide by SilverWing15

Tommy’s fins twitch at the mention of Dream’s ancestors. Dream talks about them a lot, how they made their fortune hunting down mer pods, how they were cruel and greedy. Nothing like Dream is. They’ve both overcome their roots he says.

Tommy is nothing like the wild mer out in the ocean, who spend their lives scraping by just to survive, who kicked him out of the pod when he was a baby because he was too small. He’s also better than the pit mer, who can’t overcome their wild instincts and know nothing but fighting.

He’s different from them, he’s better than them. He’s Dream’s. //// OR: Change is like the tide, when it comes, you can only sink or swim. You would think that a mer would be better at keeping afloat.

Mermaid AU Pooog. Part of a series.

One-Shots:

Snapped by AmberRunnel

“You don’t know what I went through in that prison cell.”

Jack burst out laughing, blinded with rage and the overwhelming urge to hurt Tommy, to give him everything he deserved. “Oh, is the poor child traumatized? You want pity now?” He twisted his blade, and Tommy’s axe was sent clattering to the ground.

“If the prison was so awful, why don’t I send you back there?”

-|-

Jack doesn't handle Tommy's revival well. There's a simple solution, though. Kill Tommy, and Dream revives him right back into that cell. Problem solved, kid dealt with.

It takes a few confrontations for Jack to realize he's an asshole.

It's fucked up, but god does it hurt in a good way.

the sky is coming down blue by salinesolution

An imagining of New Milo's perspective throughout the Skyblock Randomizer adventure. What did he think of the world he found himself in, and how did Wilbur's feelings and actions change things for him? Here's my way of answering those questions.

He made the fish think, funniest shit I've seen.

You told me to be a hero (so let me die like one) by spiromachia

"You told me to die like a hero," the blond interrupted, spinning on his heel to face the others, holding his arms wide open, "So why not fulfil the ending that was always meant to be."

Across the battle field, through the chaos and destruction, a tree burned.

Even the sound of explosions and cries and bloodshed felt distant enough for the world to become silent for a few moments, each individual slowly coming to the same conclusion, each of their bodies tensing.

Tommy's face broke out into a grin as he lowered his head, glowering at the people around him, and Philza's face flashed with recognition.

"Kill me."

Or... In the middle of Doomsday, Tommy decides to ask Technoblade to be the Lycomedes to his Theseus.

Heavy and dark, but at least Dream gets it.

tomorrow night by meridies

Tommy is desperately searching for his missing brother. Techno is the reluctant psychic who unfortunately got dragged along.

or, two people, more alike than different, learn what it is to have a family at their side.

It's cute what can I say :]

maple syrup by itisjosh

"We could run," Tubbo stares at the sun. "We've got everything we've ever wanted right here. We could run."

"Yeah," Tommy agrees, feeling his head swim. "We could."

(or, tommy and tubbo run away together)

Children get away from toxic adults :)

Why’d it have to be so sunny? (The sun shouldn’t shine without you.) by AToZRainToBe

‘A realisation hits Phil in the face like a truck. “Wi- Ghostbur,” Phil says, turning to his grey-scale, translucent, actually-dead son. “You definitely told Tubbo that Tommy’s alive, right?”’

To get away from Dream, Tommy agrees to fake his death, going with the cover story that he jumped from the pillar in Logstedshire. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Tubbo.

Misunderstandings are one of my favorite tropes.

sugar and ice by princedemeter for Aenqa

“He is my son,” Philza says. “Mortal or not, I would see him grow strong.”

Technoblade looks down on earth, at the tiny, angry bundle of cloth and pinking, wrinkled skin. This mortal child, he thinks, lungs filled with breath from the king of gods himself, will not grow strong.

It's mostly centered around Technoblade and Wilbur with Phil being a shitty dad. Pog Gods AU.

a matter of time by meridies

Tommy is twelve years old when his wings first appear, and he is twelve years old when Phil tells him, "All it takes is time and patience, Tommy, and soon you'll be flying even better than me."

or, Tommy grows up feeling like a failure, and it takes him a while to figure out where he's happiest.

Tommy is just finding his place in the world. Powers AU.

That Time a Baby Decided to Raise a Baby by Scitrust

Tubbo wasn't good at making excuses, so when Schlatt asked him why he was leaving in the night, he made something up on the spot. That had been months ago.

At least he sort of had an alibi for that, now.

Or, in which Tubbo finds a baby in the woods on his way to see Tommy, and promptly adopts it.

Part of a collection!! Read it all.

spider lily by blue000jay

Wilbur has a body.

The freckle on the base of his left pinky finger (shared with Techno). The scar on his chin from when he was twelve and over ambitious, diving into too-shallow water. The scar on his throat from the final control room, and the puckered skin on his shoulder from the poisoned arrow that killed him next. Various other nicks and things that litter his skin from years of rebellion and living wild, a kid thrown into a vicious world with too little self-preservation.

(Resurrection AU, for when/if Wilbur comes back.)

The author knows how it's like to live with chronic pain, and it shows :(

Hands tied loose by rabiddog

"Let's run away, Tubbo." Tommy breathed; a wide grin split across his face as his hope grew. "Let's get out of here – far away. We can go anywhere, can't we? Let's just go, you and me right here, right now."

-

Tommy needs to leave. He has to get out of L'Manburg, he has to leave the Dream SMP for his own sanity, and he wants Tubbo to come with him.

But Tubbo has a family now, a better life - something that he can't give up... not even for his best friend.

Unhappy ending :(

The serpent underneath by rabiddog

Tommy and Techno sit at the memory-filled bench and talk. Technoblade reminisces, he talks, he admits his pent-up feelings, he cries. And Tommy? Tommy listens. (That's all he can do.)

-

“I’m sorry for everything, you know? For all of it. I’m so sorry about... about the first war, about the withers and the fighting, about...” Technoblade's fingers began to curl around Tommy’s blonde locks. “About Wilbur and everything after. I'm so, so sorry.”

:((((((((

Damning choices by rabiddog

Ranboo would have never expected to find himself in a horrifying situation such as that one - quite literally sandwiched between a rock and a hard place, with three lives dangling over his head and the answer on the tip of his tongue.

Tubbo, Michael, Tommy.

It's his choice. He chooses who lives, and who dies. His new family, or his first friend. But Ranboo... Ranboo already knows.

-

"Ranboo," He hissed out, voice cracking and somewhat staticky, "It's not your fault. It's not. You had no other choice; I know that, okay? I- I know that- I know- I know..."

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Jealousy is a disease by rabiddog

Tommyinnit isn't new to the idea of jealousy. He understands it completely. He understands the way it runs rampage through his body each time he catches even a glimpse of Tubbo and Ranboo's new relationship, he understands that the emotion makes his heart clench uncomfortably from time to time. He sees it, feels it, and yet he doesn't care.

He doesn't care at all.

-

"You took Tubbo away from me. You took him away. You took my best friend, and now he's- now he's not my best friend anymore, and I-!"

:)

Word of Honour by rabiddog

Tommy could only stand and stare as Technoblade agreed to hand him over to Dream - as his brother traded him off like he was nothing. Like Tommy wasn't important.

-

Technoblade was a man of honour. He was a man of pride and sticking to his word. He knew that he owed Dream a favour, and no matter what that favour might be, he'd be compliant with it. Nothing would change his mind. (Not even Tommy.)

Almost canon. F.

Sweet Repentance by rabiddog

Perhaps Tommy should have told Phil about his arguably life-threatening injury the minute his father had opened the door. But of course, Tommy being Tommy, did not.

Dying seemed like a nice enough option as long as he was with his family.

-

Tommy just wanted acceptance, forgiveness, and peace. He wanted to close his eyes for the last time and finally be able to let go.

Tommy dies painfully.

A White Tulip by astervoid

He picked the white tulip from the bottom of the stem, standing up carefully as he held it pinched between his fingers. It would die now, inevitably, but Tommy relented and held the flower to his chest. What a silly, stupid thing to ground him. He almost hated that it made his breaths come easier and his steps feel lighter. Almost.

Tommy & Ranbooo chill on the bench.

lying to the authorities (again) by touchgrass

"Please tell me that my right-hand-man, my soon-to-be vice president, one of the people I trust the most on this godforsaken server, did not lie straight to my face and tell me he was twenty-fucking-years-old.”

Tommy opened his mouth to protest, but then closes it shut at the furious look on Wilbur's face. Oops.

~

It is the day of the elections and Wilbur Soot could not have chosen a worser time to realize that half his staff is underage.

The ONLY fic with this premise I've seen on Ao3.

Dear Theseus by rabiddog

Tommy had thought that they'd won - thought that they'd finally beaten Dream, and that everything would be okay. As it turns out, however, apparently Dream had called in that favour from Technoblade after all.

-

“Please,” Tommy whispered after a beat, quivering hands edged upwards to hesitantly press against the tip of the sword striking through his chest. Why, why, why? Why him? Why now?

Tommy almost wins.

A Shifting World by AplusIsRoman

How was Wilbur supposed to know it would end like this?

The smoke hung in the air and soot clung to his skin. His brother - adopted, but older by two minutes - stood back-to-back with him. The chilling cries of people and the calls of the withers rang through the air above the chasm that was once his home.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

How could he have known this would happen?

-

Sequel to A Child's World

Age-swap AU. Has a prequel.

heart of the sea by RyDyKG

Here is the secret that he barely thinks about, a secret that he shoves deep and far down in himself:

Wilbur Soot is a siren, and he’s not exactly proud of that fact.

Wilbur-centric. Urban Fantasy AU.

He knows, ok? by Ralli

By some means, Techno has given his raccoon younger brother some cotton candy. It doesn’t end as well as either of them would like.

Very, very cute :)

that's it, it's split (it won't recover) by Jk_Kat

Tommy has always been the fighter.

He has never been the fought for, and he knows it, with every whisper Tubbo directs at Ranboo, with every glance thrown his way- Tommy knows, the way he wishes he didn't, that they think he's dead.

If they're so convinced he's still dead, maybe the one good thing left he can do for them is die.

---

Or, Tommy gets addicted to being dead and thinks that nobody cares about him. The people who very much do try to pull him back from the brink before Dream can't resurrect him anymore.

Messed up, but with a happy ending.

Hugs 'n PTSD by rabiddog

Ranboo knew from the start that the recovery process would be hard - that moving on from quite literally being beat to death would be something hugely difficult to step away from, and that's if Tommy could even manage it at all.

He knew that it would be stressful and arduous, demanding and tough... he just hadn't expected to be holding Tommy through a PTSD-induced panic attack only days after his release from Pandora's Vault.

-

Ranboo isn't typically an overbearingly protective person. But for Tommy? He just might be.

I love this author if you can't tell.

Big Men don't cry by Shiny22Snivy

The room is small and warm, almost stifling compared to the cool openness of the ravine. It’s cosy and candlelit, and a chest sits open in the corner, full of what looks to be burnt rags of a former smart suit. And sitting in rumpled blankets on a bed, cradling a mug of something steaming, sits Tubbo.

At first, Tommy forgets all about Niki’s vague warning. He’s just so happy to see his best friend again, alive and well and all in one piece. Tubbo’s okay. Tubbo’s okay, and in front of him, and suddenly everything bad in the world is gone, if only for just a moment.

“Tommy?”

And then Tubbo turns to look at him.

Clingyduo fluff.

sins of the father (i broke all my bones that day i found you) by ryter

The thing that hurt Wilbur most was when he saw Fundy tear down the walls of L'Manburg. After all, those walls had gone up to protect his son. But in this world, Fundy trusts his father just a little bit more, and it ruins him.

Or: there's only one way Wilbur never becomes the villain. It's unclear whether this was the better path.

SOME VIOLENCE WARNINGS/BLOOD MENTION. CHARACTER DEATH. SO MUCH ANGST.

Sad, but cathartic.

REVIVED TOMMY HEADCANNONS AHAHAHAHA by racooninnit

i’m dropping ALL the fucking revived tommy headcannons on you guys today get ready for some ANGST

this is different from what i usually post but it was fun

i don’t think there’s a lot i need to put warnings for, obviously there are mentions of the way tommy died and the aftermath of that (i.e. injuries and trauma), but if there’s anything that needs a warning please tell me!

What it says on the tin- not really a fic.

Unfinished Stories:

Ongoing (Less than a month since the last update):

Over the River Styx by CorpseArt

I feel like we should name him.

There’s a scuffle at the back of his mind as he rolls up, curling tight with a shiver despite the heat of the flames licking up his back.

I mean, he’s like – us, but like a worse version clearly because oh man, this is just weirdness. There’s a flare of a tangle of emotions, complicated and fearful, resentful and livid with anger. I can’t believe this is what I’ve been reduced to, stuck in the mind of this- this child.

He’s like your age, Tommy. Are you calling yourself a child?

I mean, I am one so fucking duh. Child murderer.

-

Or: trauma bonding in the most unconventional of senses.

Just- Read it. Show the writer your support, it's unique, it's amazing and there needs to be more of it.

If history is dead and gone by iregretallmydecisions

“Don’t come any fucking closer,” Tommy shouted, startling Phil into stepping back. Tommy was still looking around wildly, like a trapped animal “Don’t fucking do it.” ---- In which Tommy finds himself faced with his splintered family, while it was still mostly whole. The past is not an easy place to be when the future was not kind. His family is forced to deal with the fall out.

It's better than Rewind, but you didn't hear that from me.

Wilbur Soot's Redemption (OR Ghostbur's Retry) by luckykitty0523

Wilbur had many regrets in his life, being lost in his madness and the urge for revenge drowned leaving a shell of who he once was. It was only in his dying moments that he regained himself but it was already too late for him leaving him drowning in wishes and regrets. However waking up in another different universe where wilbur was never born and family soulmates exist, so when wilbur said he wanted to fix the mistakes he never expected this turn of events.

OR

In one world wilbur dies and he would return as a ghost missing his memory and trying to fix what he did in life but in this one wilbur dies and wakes up in another world where soulmates exist and the wilbur of that world was never born so wilbur/ghostbur takes his place and tries to make up his mistakes to the other version of his friends.

Wilbur adopts SBI + Fundy + Dream.

A Talk Long Overdue by penink

Tommy has his first therapy session with Puffy.

Tommy gets therapy.

Into the Night by Interjection

“Don’t touch me,” Tommy hisses, leaning against the railing. “I will - I will-”

They’re a hundred stories up. Wind lashes against Phil’s face. Next to him, Sam makes choked noise.

“But why?”

Tommy looks up to meet Phil’s eyes, terror struck so deep in those pale blue irises Phil thinks they must hold all the world’s fears within them.

“You’ll die,” he whispers. “And then I’ll die. But I’ll come back.”

“And I don’t want to come back.”

Others have the freedom to live. Tommy doesn’t even have the freedom to die.

But maybe they can teach him that living doesn’t have to be so bad.

---

(Superpowers AU where whenever someone touches Tommy, they both die. But Tommy will always come back to life eventually. He just wants it to end - but instead, he’s on the run, terrified of how his power will be exploited if he’s caught.

A few people reluctantly team up to save him.)

Funky SBI dynamics + a Sam that cares. Also a lot of angst.