#anime Su1cide

[kyuuhinajinchuuriki]

𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭：

～𝒀𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒌𝒖’𝒔 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐞𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧; 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝒀𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒌𝒖 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝。～

𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭：

～𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝒁𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒏 𝑨𝒐𝒊 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡��𝐬 𝑶𝒏𝒊𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒂 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅; 𝑨𝒐𝒊~𝒔𝒂𝒏 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐩𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝑨𝒐𝒊~𝒔𝒂𝒏 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐮❢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐱❢𝐧 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐜❢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬。～

🔪🥀🔪🥀🔪🥀

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 📷𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐬📸

𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐲🤗𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬💕, 𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 🖼𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐬🖼 𝐟𝐨𝐫 2 𝐀𝐦𝐯🎞𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬。

[rinnpop]

Its the end.

[wearysoulart]

i'm not afraid of dying anymore. honestly i'm more scared of what i'll become if i keep going.

(ＵＴｪＴ)

[objectsarebestest]

I read a little bit more of Braiding Sweetgrass, since I want to learn more about animism and find my place in the world as an animist. That is, if animism even wants me. The author of this book seems to take the position that a bond with something manmade can never be as deep or as meaningful as a bond with something natural. She brings up the example of a man who said he felt a deeper bond with his car than any particular place or area of the land. He would later go on to kill himself in his car. There’s the unspoken implication that if he had anchored himself to something “natural” he would still be alive. It was very upsetting. I form bonds with plants, with natural phenomena, with the land itself. But I also bond to many manmade objects. I read this passage as blaming me for my own suicidiality. That it’s my fault that I’ve been hospitalized so many times. Because I have bonded with these objects. Because I refuse to give up my friends, my compatriots, my family for the “superior” natural world. I’m debating giving up the label of animist entirely if this is truly what they believe. I’m just very upset right now.

[azaprocky]

┃ pairings ➣ 〔 ❛ nijiro murakami x fem!reader ❜ 〕

┃ summary ➣ 〔 ❛ Love is something that keeps people together; it brings happiness to everyone, however can it still be called love if you feel so unseen and so alone? this is a story that tell us how some people can make you feel that you're not so alone in this cruel world but can also make you feel so undesirable to the point that it slowly drains you and you had no choice but to let go.❜ 〕

┃ face claim ➣ 〔 ❛ Jeon Soyeon ❜ 〕

┃ warnings ➣ 〔 ❛ cheating allegations, cancel culture, su1cide attempt, depression, mistreatment, exploitation and cursing ❜ 〕

┃ mentioning ➣ 〔 ❛ Kento Yamazaki, (G)-idle members, Hwang In-Yeop, Ikeda Elaiza, Nana Komatsu, Masaki Usada and Aina The End ❜ 〕

We all know the famous quote "Right person, Wrong time" ... imagine you met someone you truly see your future with but destiny decided to go against you, but have you heard of the line "it hurts to be something it's worse to be nothing with you" from "Promise" by Laufey, it perfectly describes how a person let go of a someone they truly love because they felt like the love is not there anymore and it's slowly but surely draining them however there's a place in their heart that still longs so much for the presence of that certain someone, it's weird right?

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I didn't think you'd understand me, How could you ever even try?

(Y/n) entered her apartment where her boyfriend Nijiro was also staying, in the vibrant and modern Gangnam-gu after a long tiring session in the studio for their comeback "Superlady".

"Sweetheart?" She called out as her eyes roam around the apartment removing her shoes, after a few minutes no voice was heard "weird" she whispered to herself so she decided to enter the living room because maybe Nijiro is so immersed in a video game or an anime but when she finally reached her expecting to see Nijiro slumped in the white coach with a headphone on his head while hugging couch pillow and her coffee table full of snacks.

But instead she saw a bouquet of her favorite flowers, a letter and an expensive necklace laid on the coffee table, (Y/n) slowly walked to the coffee table and bent down to reach the letter, she breathed deeply before opening it, it was quite a long letter with a bit messy but readable writing, it was clear that Nijiro wrote this, the letter contains;

To my sunshine,

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It's Nijiro, if it isn't obvious... I know I'm not the type of person to write letters but I just don't know how to say this to you personally — I'm afraid of what you'll say to me, I'm afraid that I'll be a burden to you since I know during this time you're busy with recording and stuff... But to say the point of this letter I left... I left your apartment, South Korea and maybe this relationship, I know that I sound like an asshole right now but please let me explain.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ These past few days I felt so down, I feel like I want to end my life, I wanted to seek help at you but I didn't want to, I was afraid of being ignored like the many times you ignored my pleads for help... remember last week when I called you and my voice was shaking, I almost attempted at your apartment and at that moment all I wanted was you... but you said you're busy so I faked a smile and assured you, at that moment I felt alone I didn't felt like I was in a relationship with someone who love me, I sound so selfish but gosh, it hurts (Y/n), so much.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ So today I decided leave, to not look back, I felt like you didn't understand that I was having a hard time to stay alive right now...that you didn't understand how much I need you right now, I always tried to understand you and your career oriented lifestyle but this time I will put myself and understand myself more.

( ps. The necklace is supposed to be my gift for you for our upcoming anniversary, its contains the coordinate of the vacation house we always wanted in Jeju, I hope that will bring you happiness :] )

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ love, Nijiro

(Y/n) dropped the letter breaking down on the floor of her apartment, she felt so dissapointed at her self-how could she be so selfish?! She wanted to call Nijiro but it was too late, she knew that once Nijiro makes up his mind it will be the last time.

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Just wanna let this story die, And I'll be alright

your.username uploaded a new post!

your.username

liked by konichan7, noodle.zip, min.nicha and 2,698,597 others

your.username ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ '슈퍼레이디' MV 공개! 우리를 위한 새로운 시대 슈퍼레이디 + 제주덤프 😉🥂 (‘Superlady’ MV is released! a new era for us Super Ladies + Jeju Dump)

view all 167,098 comments

gidleyuqilovx ‎ ‎ mother's glowing for some reason, idfk and idgaf, wishing you guys a successful comeback!

noodle.zip ‎ ‎ 제주를 즐기시기 바랍니다, 보고 싶습니다! 🥰☀️ (I hope you are enjoying Jeju, we miss you!)

liked by creator!

nijidlelvr ‎ ‎ wtf? that's weird... Nijiro didn't like (Y/n)'s post?? did they broke up?

idlemincha ‎ ‎ right??! he always likes her post minutes after posting

jungjison 넌 빛나고 있어 (Y/n) 언니!! 😍😍

(you're glowing, (y/n) unnie!!)

njr_mk uploaded a story!

( Translation: A new beginning, a chance to prioritize yourself :) )

(Y/n) heard the knock from the meeting room, she sighed deeply before standing up, her manager looked at you and said:

"(Y/n) you ready?" Her manager asked, she just nodded nervously, she was unsure this was the right idea; her and Nijiro's relationship are one of the popular and beloved couple in both the Korean and Japanese entertainment industry she didn't want to ruin their supporters' heart however she cannot change her mind now when everything has been set and planned so she just sighed deeply when her manager stood up to greet (G)-Idle's publicist.

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Me and my truth, we sit in silence, 'Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite, My tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die.

(G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami had broken up after 3 years of being in a relationship as reported by Cube Entertainment earlier this day.

(Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami started dating back in 2021, based on reports the two had met in a party organized by a common friend in 2019, the two were close friends before becoming lovers. September of 2021 the two was confirmed to be dating and is in a long distance relationship.

The two was also nicknamed by both k-netz and international fans as the asian version of the former couple, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn; a lot had l said that the former couple, (Y/n) and Nijiro, was a refreshing combination and would last a lifetime.

However, everyone was shocked when Cube Entertainment released a statement that the couple has recently called it quits:

❝

two months ago our artist, (G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Japanese Actor Nijiro Murakami had decided to go their seperate ways because of their busy schedules; the break up was mutually decide, please respect their privacy.

— Cube Entertainment, February 01, 2024.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❞

Decade, The agency of Nijiro Murakami, still hasn't released a statement.

Some fans already figured out that they broke up after a cryptic story posted by Nijiro a week ago.

Source: [1] [2]

Nijiro is in his trailer getting ready for his shooting today for Alice in Borderland season 3 when the break up article was posted.

He's currently scrolling through his phone peacefully when suddenly his manager rushed to his side to show him the article, "Is this serious, why didn't she consult us first before releasing this statement?!" His manager said in a anxious tone clearly afraid of what will be the assumptions of the fans will make for his client.

"It's fine, Toshio-san, (Y/n) actually reached out to me before releasing the announcement, I was the one who approved about what will be said and what will not" Nijiro answered calmly putting his phone down at the vanity "I don't want to release any statements please, because I don't want to feed to mountain full of theories made by her fans or my fans, I want protect my peace right now and what truly happened between us to be private" he added in a serious tone, a sigh left his mouth when his manager started listing things off to try to convince him to release a statemnt

"Toshio-san, it's fine, we're gonna be fine, I just wanna move on okay?" Nijiro smiled assuringly before going back on his phone, his manager just nodded clearly defeated from the argument.

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Know that you made me, I don't like how you paint me

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It's something like a daydream, But I feel so seen in the night

First encounter, september 2019

Upbeat music and echoes of laughter filled the residence of Kento Yamazaki in Tokyo, Yamazaki is celebrating his first ever nextflix series, Alice in Borderland, the party is filled by recognizable actors and actresses like Suda Masaki, Nana Komatsu, Kiko Mizuhara, Dori Sakurada and others, Yamazaki's guests can be seen dancing and drinking in different spots of his living room, but one of Yamazaki's most close friend is missing and that's (Y/n) who felt a bit out of place and decided to walk around the actor's property.

(Y/n) decided to go to the backyard when she saw that there's no one in there and since she wanted to breath for a moment but when she arrived at the backyard, to her suprise, (Y/n) saw a guy with medium length black hair wearing a gray polo with a white shirt underneath and black pants who seems like smoking and hanging out by the porch swing, she contemplated to either go back to the party or be with this stranger and after a few minutes of thinking this may be unlike her...but she decided to rather be with a random guy than a party that makes her head hurt from all the loudness.

As she walks closely, the sound of her heels on the concrete tile on the backyard couldn't help but be heard by Nijiro who's now sighing, feeling the presence of another person so he reluctantly decided to drop his cigarettes on the floor and step on it, he's not someone who smokes regularly since he only does this when he's bored and sometimes overwhelmed , "Sorry to disturb you but I just really need to get away fromthe party" (Y/n) said with a bit of punctured japanese, she knew how to speak Japanese since her dad is Japanese however she wasn't used in speaking in that language; (Y/n) felt a little embarrassed feeling like she may be disturbing someone who's wanting some peace of mind like her "No, it's fine" Nijiro replied sighing again as he looks up to fully face the woman in front of him and the first thought that came to his mind was "wow, she looks foreign and... pretty" he looks at her a bit longer than normal

"Why are you here anyway?" He asked the girl clearing his throat and looking at the pool Infront of them as he noticed himself staring at her so much "I felt a bit out of place there, I'm not really close with anyone there except Nana and Kento" she answered sitting at the porch swing beside him but leaving enough space for them to not touch each other, "Same, im not really the one for partying too—how'd you know Kento by the way?" He replied now looking at the girl beside him he was clearly curious how'd she know Kento because this was the first time to see her on one of his close friends.

"Well, this may be a suprise but we're f*ck buddies" (Y/n) said that in the most convincing voice she could master, of course she was joking she met Kento during her childhood days because Kento's house and her grand parents' house was beside each other. Nijiro faced form a face of disbelief, it was he was shocked and couldn't bring himself to speak, however his face turn into confusion when (Y/n) laughed "you actually believed that?! I'm just joking, we're childhood friends" she said "is it okay if I said I was relieved? I was so shocked" Nijiro laughed "yeah, we're actually childhood friends, we met because during childhood his family's house and my grandparents home are neighbors" She continued as she looks at the sky above her

"You? How'd you know Kento?" She asked now looking at the guy beside him "Oh um, we're co stars at his Netflix series, it's mandatory for us casts to interact with each other" Nijiro answered "And I'm Nijiro, Nijiro Murakami, You?" He introduces himself since he was slightly taken a back being called "You" "Hi Nijiro, im (Y/n) (Y/l/n)" the girl Infront her introduces herself and for the second time Nijiro was shocked, he heard that name before "Wait, you're (G)-Idle's (Y/n)?! My sister is a big fan of your group!" Nijiro said shocked "oh really?" (Y/n) said shocked, she didn't knew or expected that someone from another is already a fan of their group

"Yeah, you're her favorite too" Nijiro continued laughing as he remembered the amount of time his sister speaks to him about (G)-idle, "So what's like being an idol?" He asked feeling abit awkward since the only sound can be heard was the trees and the water from the pool swaying from the cold night breeze "Stressful, it's something that both brings me joy and stress" the idol answered laughing slightly "How so?" Nijiro asked clearly confused "Well our company isn't really that supportive and sometimes we have to think of strategies that will help up whenever we have a comeback" she answered "especially I'm the leader so I felt like I'm the one who's responsible on anything that will happen" (Y/n) continued sighing, she was tired from all of the things she did like begging their CEO to give them some funds "Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that... but for me I really appreciate how you're so selfless, I admire that" the actor smiled comforting the woman Infront him in a way "You're great" he added "Thank you, Nijiro" (Y/n) was shocked and a little bit flustered

"How about you? What's your story?" the idol asked "Well, since I was young I was never really fond of being famous since that's one of the reasons my parents fought about but I don't know something switched and then I decided to audition and stuff... I wasn't really proud on some of my first roles" Nijiro answered his voice trailing off a bit "My first movies kind of exploited me and stuff—i don't really want to talk about that and like right now I feel like I'm not in control of things that's going on in my life" the actor continued his tone shifting to a more upset tone clearly dissapointed on what he become

"That's such a hellish experience to feel, I'm really sorry, I know that things will get better for you, you're really nice and I know nice people will experience nice things in their life sooner or later" the idol couldn't help but smile at the actor beside him while patting his back, she felt so sad hearing the story of the man who she thought got his life together "Thank y—" Nijiro was suddenly cut off when he heard Kento's voice "Aish Lovebirds! My party is not some dating place!" Kento said acting like he was angry but a smile was clearly plastered on his face "get inside now guys" after Kento had said that he left letting the two be

"Well let's head to that hell hole now, wish you luck" Nijiro joked as he stood up helping the woman beside him to stand up too "Thank you by the way, I really appreciate what you said" he added smiling "You're welcome and umm can I get your number? I really enjoyed talking to you" (Y/n) asked, this was the first time she asked for a guy's number she never felt so desperate

"oh yeah! Of course! I was about to ask you that to" Nijiro laughed as the Idol got her phone out of her pocket to get the actor's number.

Imagine an Actor and an Idol suddenly meeting up, different worlds had collided, different lives with different struggles but one thing that they both have in common is a fractured life, little did they know that they will both mend and heal each other's lives.

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So for now, it's only me and maybe that's all I need

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Wait for your love, Love, I'll wait for your love

"I really appreciate you guys coming to our concert" (Y/n) said, they are currently at the backstage of the concert venue after the concert, she once again hugged Nana, Masaki, Sora and Aina thanking them for attending her group's concert despite their busy schedules, she couldn't help but sneak a glance to Nijiro who's currently talking to Minnie and Yuqi.

As the four said their farewells to the other members, unfortunately for them, (Y/n) and Nijiro was left alone, the idol couldn't help but feel awkward with her former lover who's now looking at her from the other side of the room, Nijiro, on the other hand, is debating whether to approach her or just leave her be, after a few minutes he came to the conclusion that he should just take the opportunity to talk to her "Fuck it" he said approaching the idol, "Hey (Y/n), it's been awhile" Nijiro greeted (Y/n) a small smile appearing on his lips "Yeah it is" the idol answered a bit too emotionless, she wasn't exactly happy to see the actor but neither she's angry to see him.

"I just wanted to maybe invite you and your members to Reinbō Sukai Suteiburuzu in Okinawa, it's a thank you gift since you are the one who mostly designed the café... and the only person who had helped me to pursue this business" the actor got from his packet a beige card that contains the contact details "I will really appreciate if you can come" he continued smiling as (Y/n) took the call card from his hand

"Thanks, I'll ask them if they want to, I'll just call you — you haven't changed your number right?" (Y/n) asked a subtle smile is etched on her face, she couldn't help but feel happy on what Nijiro had said earlier "Yes" the man nodded "Well seems that we have to go, it's nice seeing you again, I'll be waiting for your call" Nijiro bid his farewell a big smile appears on his lips as him and his companions left the backstage

"So (Y/n), are we going or are we going?!" Minnie asked smiling, the members couldn't help but eavesdrop to the conversation that happened between their leader and her ex who also became their brother, "SAY YES!" Yuqi begged while Shuhua is squealing like a maniac also begging for their leader to say yes, "But it's your choice (Y/n)" Miyeon entered the conversation smiling at the younger girl assuringly "Sure" (Y/n) said sighing thinking that this would be a great way for her and her group members to bond and maybe rest after a long tiring week, hearing that the members squealed with Joy.

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

The request was made by @fleorsee

Won't you stay with me, my darling?

Treech x Fem! Tribute! Reader (romantic hurt comfort) Summary: Treech is reaped alongside fem! Reader, but she's far too sorrowful to pay attention to much else other than becoming a tribute. Contains: mention of death, murder, hurt/comfort (reader being comforted), hints at su1cide (about unnamed Seven victor), hints at panic attacks (towards unnamed victor). Word count: 5.4k ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

The reaping for the tenth Hunger Games had been another shitshow, as had every year since the first.

All the boys lined up on their side, the girls the other. Treech had been called and he went to the podium reluctantly, no matter if his face showed that or not. But you had brought the District some attention. Your name had been called at the reaping and almost immediately other girls within nearby lines ran to hold you close and sob.

It wasn’t until their tears flowed that yours did too. Seconds after you felt their hands grasping at your clothes, grabbing at anything that could keep you close, your eyes had watered too and your wails didn’t sound too different to your friends’.

The entwined bodies were pulled from each other rather harshly, finally showing your figure to the Capital citizens, the crowd, and Treech who you truly were. You were brought next to him and shown off for District Seven’s tenth Hunger Games tributes.

And now as you stood at the train station, two peacekeepers standing besides you both, it was awkward. The silence was sickening, the skin around your tearful eyes having grown sensitive from you constantly wiping them.

Treech didn’t worry about that though, he was too worried about what could happen to both you and him while in the Capital and the arena. The idea of his death wasn’t something he wished to get to so soon. The same could be said for you. He knew so little about you but he had enough empathy to understand that you felt the same, more physically too.

Treech looked over at you, the tears having partially dried into a shine around your cheeks. You occupied yourself with picking at your fingers or feeling at the cloth of your clothes. He couldn't help gazing at you, looking at the fabric of your clothes, seeing the intricate details on the cloth. It made him think of the browns and vague blues of his attire, having felt slightly underwhelming next to you. It was true to an extent, his lifeless reaction to his name call probably made him seem underwhelming too.

A rust-colored cattle car pulls into the station. Treech looks at it with uncertainty. Not many animals were ever brought to the district, so it was either for animal meat or for you both. He had heard the Capital brought the tributes in cattle cars, so it was likely for you both. Which was quickly proven correct.

The door is thrown open by a nearby peacekeeper. You crooned your head to look into the car, seeing the slightly dirty hay sitting on the wood flooring. Treech's lips drew into a line while his nose scrunching from the smell. It smelled disgusting, even as far as you both were from the train.

Treech looked over at you, wondering how you felt about the situation and the train car entirely. His questions were quickly answered as your hand went to your face and pinched your nostrils closed, your expression forming into one of displeasure. Treech’s mind went to your clothes and the possibility they would get dirty and ruined from the disgustingness from the car.

The peacekeepers beside you pushed you both forward towards the cattle car. Their demand was met with reluctance from both you and Treech but you went along anyway. He climbed onto the train, his nose wrinkling at the smell of the train car. Either way, he turns back to you to help you up. His hand took yours gently, hoping you wouldn't see him as a possible threat, now or in the arena.

You gratefully took his hand but didn’t vocally thank him, simply giving him a look. A brighter look than you would have given anyone else. You swiped your shoe over the hay, moving the beige colored grass out of your way once you sat on the wood floor. Treech does something similar but sits across the cattle car, not trying to get near you.

The peacekeepers closed the doors harshly, causing both you and Treech to jump a bit. He sighed and leaned against the metal walling. Hoping to calm his heart, his fingers tracing the details on his palm, his fingertips lightly brushing between creases and over the sores from work brought a mindless feeling to him. He had done something similar when he was in school, his mind having naturally wandered off to other places as he traced the delicate intricacies of his palm then the veins on his hand.

Your legs were close to your chest, curling your body to comfort yourself. Treech didn’t try comforting you, he simply didn’t know what to do. He’s comforted people before but not in situations like this. When he was young, he would comfort his friends when they got hurt but this was a different kind of hurt. This was worse than Treech thought he could ever comfort you through. So he didn’t try. But he’d have to talk to you at some point.

“You’re in my math class, right?” Treech asked, hoping to break the ice. Your eyes trail to him as you try stifling your sniffles, which was a failure. “I might have gotten you mixed up but you look very familiar.”

You stare at him, sniffling before nodding. “I could say the same for you,” You mutter and turn your head down to your hands. “Ms. Ecordium, yes?” He nods with a slight smile.

“Yep,” he mumbles awkwardly and looks down at his hands. You nod, wait several seconds before going back to looking out the crack in the wall. The sunlight shines from your forehead to your bottom lip, covering your skin in the soft golden glow.

The silence was brought back with the familiar awkwardness from the train station. Treech glanced at you again, seeing the movements of shadows over your cheek, showing the train slowly picking up speed.

He sighs, setting his hat near him as he laid down. Treech’s thoughts were plagued with what could be in the arena, how he would hold up with the other tributes who were possibly stronger than him. But he eventually closed his eyes, the last thing he sees is you sitting in the corner, looking out the crack in the wall.

♡♡♡

It was roughly 6:30 at night when Wovey and Bobbin, the District Eight tributes, had been brought to the same train car. Bobbin didn’t try speaking to you or Treech’s sleeping body, Wovey did though. It was only a small “hello” and a wave that had been made in your direction, which you had done back out of politeness.

The sun had finally set and Wovey and Bobbin curled up in their pile of hay, which had been gathered by the both of them. You offered to help but Bobbin said they could do it on their own, leaving you to grovel in your moonlight. Now, they slept, Wovey’s blonde hair that had been pulled from the bun to keep her comfortable, the hairband around her wrist. Her head rested on Bobbin’s arm while they slept.

The night had grown quiet, the only sound filling the night sky was the screeching train rails and the soft snoring coming from the Eight tributes and Treech. The train car rocked lazily though it moved hastily across the countryside. Your tears had dried hours prior when you couldn’t produce any more tears, leaving just soreness from constantly wiping the diluted water from your cheeks.

The idea of you never getting back home and seeing your friends again plagued your mind. You couldn’t think of anything but their cries as they held you close, pleading that you wouldn’t leave. And there was a possibility you would never go home, your fate being held in another tribute's palms, their blood covered hands.

Treech gradually opened his eyes, the darkened car only lit by the small cracks of moonlight shining down on the countryside. He sat up begrudgingly, his body rocking back and forth just as the train car did.

He lazily reached into his pocket, his arm slightly sore from sleeping on it. He pulled out the silver pocket watch, reading 11:52 PM, and sighed. It had been a long while that he had slept, it’s unlikely that he would sleep for the rest of the night. Treech ran his fingers gently through his hair, trying to fix himself just a little. His eyes eventually adjusted to the darkness.

Treech stared at you as you sat in your corner, curled up in a ball, trying to comfort yourself the best you could.

“(Y/n)? Are you crying again?” Treech asked then paused, pressing his lips into a line, realizing how mean he might have sounded. But thankfully you didn’t consider crying more at his question. Instead, you nodded.

“Yeah,” you answer and look away, back through the crack in the wooden wall, watching the moon again. The silver shined onto your skin, showing the layer of tears left untouched by your hand.

Treech’s mind immediately thought you were embarrassed, why else would you look away so quickly? He pursed his lips, looking around at the hay that surrounded his body, his hat on the gold grass. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that,” he stated simply, rubbing his eyes.

You look back at him again and shake your head. The back of your palm wiped the newfound tears. “No, I’m not embarrassed,” you assure and sigh, which was interrupted by a hiccup. “I just keep crying.”

Treech’s eyes trail to Wovey and Bobbin who sleep soundly in their pile of hay, their bodies still but full of life. He looks back at you again and nods. “I get that,” he mutters awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

Your tears sparkled on your skin from the silver moon grazing over the sky. Treech’s dark eyes looked down at yours as you sobbed. And it dawned on him, he didn’t think too much about going back to District Seven. He hadn’t shed a tear while waiting for or on the train. Maybe it was just how quickly he had accepted his demise or how his friends and family didn’t react either. It didn’t matter now.

“Do you… um,” Treech hesitates, looking down at his hands. “Hold you? I meant, do you want me to hold you?”

You stare at him silently, thinking about his offer. But it didn’t take too much time to finally have an answer.

It only took a matter of seconds for you to crawl into his arms, laying your head on his chest, your arms wrapped tightly around him. The softness of your clothes and the tightness of your hold reminded Treech too much of home. It almost comforted him too. Knowing your arms were open to him just as much as his to you was enough.

“I don’t want to die!” You sobbed and curled into yourself more, which Treech didn’t think was possible. His arms tightened around you, pulling you to his shoulder, which you accepted quickly. The tip of your nose poked over the muscle between his shoulder and neck.

Treech awkwardly sat with you, keeping you in his arms, caged around your trembling body. He no longer had to think of comforting things to say.

“You won’t die,” Treech assures and hesitantly pets your head, his breath delicately touching your cheek. It helped you slightly, but it brought in the idea of his death. As little as you knew him, it still meant a lot for him to stay alive.

You didn’t say anything for a long while, just keeping close to Treech and making sure to calm your breathing, which was only interrupted by sniffles and hiccups.

“You’ll go home to your family,” Treech muttered, the joint of his pointer finger gently rubbing your cheek. “And they’ll have a nice dinner for you, and they’ll celebrate that you're home.”

Now, Treech didn’t know if that was true at all. He didn’t know what your family life was like. For all he knew, he was saying what he wanted when he possibly got home. He wanted a celebration for his victory, though it’s rarely ever a victory.

There was only one victor from Seven he knew of, and it wasn’t pretty. A seventeen-year-old girl came back to the District a victor but only stayed for four months before she died. She had several of those… fear filled moment when she smelt something she couldn’t stand anymore. And it didn’t take her too long to no longer take it.

No one knew about the other Districts, if they had something similar with their victors. It was mostly a prayer that neither of you would succumb to something similar that girl did. Only a little bit of hope would help you both.

“You’ll live long. You’ll get a nice job and a house, maybe a pet or two,” Treech continued, the hand that wasn’t petting your face held onto your shoulder that raised with every hiccup. “And you’ll be happy.”

You kept your eyes closed as you drifted your head to his chest again, listening to the quiet beat of his heart, caged behind the soft fabric of his shirt and coat. The muscles in your legs eventually loosened, causing your knees to move away from your chest.

“You want that too?” You ask, looking up at his jaw since you would have to pull away to look him in the eye, which you didn’t wish for. “You want to go home to a victory dinner.”

Treech nodded without a second thought. “Better than starving in the arena,” he says with a slight smile. You hum in agreement. A good meal would always be better than this, for you and him.

“I want you to go home with me,” you state suddenly, changing the direction of the conversation. Your fingers go to one of his dark coat buttons, tracing the small details pressed into the silver.

Treech paused for a second. He knew it wasn’t possible, there was only one victor. But he’d be willing to give it up to you. “Yeah, I want that too…,” he trailed off, continuing to rub your cheek and cheek bone with his fingers. “I want you to go to sleep soon. It’s not good if you run into the arena tired.”

You nodded tiredly, allowing yourself some peace, just enough to sleep. Your breathing slowed and your grasp on his shirt loosened, and finally, you were out. Treech waited a minute more to continue rubbing your cheek before he decided it was good enough for him to sleep too.

Treech reached up to his hat and set it in the beige hay under the both of you and gently laid you next to him. Your sleeping body was still in his arms, your back against his chest. His dirtied fingers drawing up to your cheek bone then down to your chin one more time before his brown eyes were closed. Within a couple seconds, he followed in pursuit of sleep.

♡♡♡

The train eventually came to a stop, making a loud screech on the rusting rails. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking several times to get the sleepiness to go away. Treech’s arms were still wrapped tightly around you, finding comfort in your figure. The soreness of sleeping on the wood floor has affected you too, causing a groan to leave your lips once you sit up. Wovey and Bobbin hadn’t stirred from their slumber, their bodies only shifting slightly as the sudden lack of movement from the train.

You trail your eyes to the metal rods holding up the corners of the cattle car but are temporarily blinded by the light of the opened doors. You stiffened at the white light that shined in, turning away to cover your eyes.

“Come on, move out!” A man’s rough voice yelled at the four tributes inside. Bobbin and Wovey woke up almost immediately from the suddenness, a bit of fear in their sleep filled eyes.

“Treech, wake up!” You shake your district partner with haste. Which drew him to life with the help of the light. He groaned with sleepy irritation and looked up at you.

“Hm?” He whined and glanced around the train car, eventually falling on the armed peacekeepers. At the sight, Treech sat up quickly. It was almost like instinct, standing from the hay like he had been caught with something bad. Which of course wasn’t true, but he wasn’t going to act like it didn’t scare up.

“Come on,” you whispered to him, pushing him in the direction of the open doors. He obliged.

Treech quickly jumped down from the cattle car and onto the station platform. He turned back and reached up for your arms, hoping to help you down. You got onto your knees and leaned down until your arms were around his shoulders. Taking several steps back, he lowered you until your shoes made a soft tap to the platform flooring.

Turning your attention back to the other tributes, you and Treech silently followed them toward the chosen truck -or rather prison- for the tributes, staying close to each other as you went along.

The detailing of the train station drew your attention, the details of the clock over the ticket master’s office was beautiful. The best District train station wouldn’t even compare to the Capital’s worst. And that was a fact.

“Step up!” The peacekeeper hollered at you, drawing you away from the thought of the train station. You followed Treech into the truck, holding his hand as you climbed into the dark metal that would bring you to your tombs.

The calls of the peacekeepers grew loud and quick as Bobbin tried climbing over a nearby dumpster onto the roof of, what seemed to be, a shed. And the opportunity was taken by a Capital citizen in red.

The blonde boy ran into the truck, going all the way to the back to hide amongst the tributes. It must have worked since the peacekeepers pushed Bobbin back in to sit with Wovey and slammed the metal doors shut.

The truck started with a low rumble, the children inside swaying slightly from the suddenness as it slowly leaves the train station. 

The van was eerily quiet, nearly all the tributes staring at -who you now known as- Coriolanus. Their eyes drilled holes into him as he turned to them. You couldn't help but stare too, wondering why he was in the van in the first place. It was obvious he shouldn't have been with you all, he was too well dressed.

Treech stared at him with a disgusted look, looking him up and down. The vibrancy of his red outfit gave him away. No one in Seven, hell, any of the districts, wore a red that vibrant. Not many could afford such a vibrant dye. The closest anyone of the tributes had to a vibrant dye was Lucy Gray, but even the ruffles of her skirt were too faded to have been made lavishly. 

“What’s the matter, pretty boy? You're in the wrong cage?” Reaper remarked and gazed at the boy. The blonde boy looked around anxiously at the tributes and then shook his head.

Your attention was turned back to Reaper, who seemed to stand over the other tributes like a statue, larger than life with his attitude toward the random boy who intruded on their cage.

“No, this cage is delightful,” Coriolanus said back, looking around at the tributes who gazed at him.

The other tributes grimace at his lacklustre answer, constantly giving Coriolanus dirty looks. You stare at him too, wondering how he could have gotten in without getting caught. The red was too bright to not have gotten caught. The closest color that was as vibrant as the mentor’s coat was Reaper’s blue dress shirt, which was far behind in dye.

His words seemed to annoy Reaper as the boy was quick to grab Coriolanus, pushing him against the wall violently. Reaper held tightly onto his blue collar, pulling Coriolanus closer but holding him with an iron fist.

"I will kill you right now." Reaper threatened harshly, giving Coriolanus an angered look. The blonde didn’t try pushing him away, not trying to get his ass kicked before he could possibly find safety, or at least get the opportunity to run.

The other tributes leaned closer to try and witness the murder, hoping it was a little gruesome for them to get some satisfaction for their later deaths. At least it would be a death they would root for.

"There's no point in killing him," Lucy Gray pitched suddenly, drawing the attention of both Reaper and Coriolanus, looking up at the boys. "They'd kill you then your family."

"You care about him?" Reaper asked and looked over at her, a slight scowl on his face at the idea that he couldn’t kill Coriolanus. Lucy Gray stared at her mentor before nodding.

"He's my mentor, I'd prefer keeping him alive," Lucy Gray answered, smiling slightly at her own remark. A ginger haired girl glanced at Coriolanus then at Lucy Gray, looking her over, and bending down to the tributes level.

“Why do you get a mentor? You’re more special than the rest of us?” Coral asked in a condescending tone, giving Lucy Gray a dirty look.

“You all get one,” Coriolanus piped up, gazing at Coral, who stared back but gave him an annoyed look.

“Why aren’t they here?” Coral remarked and raised her brow.

“Just aren’t as kind,” Coriolanus answered and grunted from being pushed back against the wall by Reaper, firmer this time.

You watched silently, leaning forward to watch the event, wondering if Reaper would kill the Capital Boy. You lean forward, your lower stomach meets the upper parts of your thigh from leaning so far. Treech suddenly places his palm against your chest, lightly pushing you back against the truck wall. You didn’t try going against it but were slightly disappointed at his action. You wanted to watch as much as any other tribute.

Suddenly, the truck came to a stop, causing everyone inside to pause and look around. Wovey stood up from the bench and looked out the tinted window near the roof. She didn’t get much info for what was out there though.

A loud beeping sound followed as the doors opened widely as it suddenly tipped back. Your eyes widen as you hold onto your seat, which wasn’t helpful as you felt Bobbin fall onto your side, making you lose your grip. Treech was able to grab your arm as you and the rest of the tributes fell.

The terrain below the truck was an unforgiving rocky hill, almost as if the rocks sharpest points were towards the now falling district children. The sounds of rolling pebbles and cries from the tributes intermingled with the shrill calls of others, which you couldn’t put a figure to as you rolled down the hill. The sharp bits of rock poked into your back and ribs, causing you to writhe in a way to get away from the points, which didn’t do much but cause other areas to be jabbed.

Your body was tense as you quickly slowed as hastily as you started, groans leaving your lips. The area had changed from the rocky hill to soft green grass, which eased the growing newly found bruises. You stayed still for several seconds, simply listening to the pained moans of the other tributes and the calls of what you now knew as Capital citizens.

You turned your head to look over at the crowd behind the bars surrounding you, many of which were well dressed men, women, and children. It almost gave them away as Capital, their vibrantly dyed outfits. The blues, greens, and reds are too bright to say ‘district’. And they wouldn’t be excited to see their fellow man in cages if they were truly District.

But it didn’t matter now. You eventually sat up dusting your clothes of the sand that covered the stones and looked around, your mind trailing to Treech.

"Treech? Are you alright?" You groaned and looked around, hoping to find the boy nearby. Your call was answered with a whine of pain just behind a rock. You stood from the grass and quickly walked over to the sound of the familiar voice.

"I'm fine," Treech replied while slowly sitting up. He winced as he leaned over and grabbed his hat. You bent down and helped him to his feet, staring as he looked around the cage surrounded by people with kids and cameras.

“We’re in a zoo,” you mumble and look at the large camera that a man held, pointing it at the tributes. You hesitated to look away. Cameras were never truly fond memories, no one could afford them in the Districts and you could only ever see them used with the reaping's. The kids of past reaping's must have felt the same about the cameras.

“Yeah, I got that,” Treech remarked and sighed.

You nodded and sigh too, tightening your grasp on his hand. Treech pulled you closer, just close enough to whisper something in your ear. “Just make sure to-,” as Treech was about to finish his sentence, your name was called.

“(Y/n)!” A boy in a similar red to Coriolanus called your name, motioning for you to come closer.

You look from the boy calling to you to Treech, expecting him to finish his sentence, which he didn’t do. “I can talk to you again when you finish talking to him,” he simply states and pushes you in the boy's direction.

♡♡♡

The day had moved slowly, now the stars hung over the sky, the silver glow of the stars and nearby streetlamps contrasted greatly with the gold of the sun’s rays. The masses of people had gone home, now only being guarded by peacekeepers, who were reluctantly keeping their eyes open in case a tribute tried escaping.

Treech had gone off to juggle acorns for the camera, which had been rewarded with some bread. It wasn’t much but it was better than just the dust on his fingers. The bread had been split between you both while conversing about what your mentor had told you.

“His name is Pup Harrington,” you smiled and tore the brown bread between your fingers, popping smaller pieces into your mouth. Treech smiled slightly and did something similar. He raised his brow.

“Your mentor?” Treech asked, which you answered with a nod.

“Yeah,” you said through a mouthful of bread bits. “He just wanted to introduce that he was my mentor, and we needed a plan for the Games. I didn’t say too much so he did most of the talking anyway. Must’ve taken English seriously.”

Treech smiled and finished the little bit of bread he had left, licking his fingertips of the leftover crumbs off with hesitance. Moreso felt desperate, which was true but didn’t want that viewed from the Capital eye.

Once you both finish your small meal, you lie down in the grass, looking up at the stars that stared down at you. The other tributes had gone to bed or were keeping themselves occupied with miniscule tasks, like dusting off their clothes. Treech’s hands lay folded on his stomach, his hat sat near his head. You laid in a similar way, your hand close to his side, his coat to be specific.

"I wanted to thank you for being so nice to me," you mutter, finally breaking the silence. The grass was soft under your body, the yellowing dandelions around you making your natural bed seem fancier.

"You don't have to thank me," Treech assured you, watching mindlessly as you moved to hold his hands. You pulled his intertwined fingers from each other and took them into yours, squeezing gently. He kept his hand limp.

"And you didn't need to take care of me," you state with a small smile. Your mind raced with ideas, something similar to a gift. A gift you could give him, though you didn’t have much you could give him. "I can repay you in a specific way... if you'd want me to."

Treech smiled and let out a little breath, meant to be a small chuckle. Though, you could see the blush rise in his cheeks. "How would you repay me? You don't have much I could want," he remarked, giving you a specific look, one of wonder. It was obvious he wanted an answer quickly.

You hesitated at his question; you were partially expecting him to give you the idea for your gift. But he had nothing to offer and neither did you, materially, at least. You had nothing to offer but yourself.

"A kiss," you suggest hesitantly, as though the idea of kissing him wasn't something that made you nervous. You couldn’t deny that he was attractive, you would have told him sooner if your nerves didn’t get the best of you. Or if you weren’t sobbing since the reaping.

Treech paused for several seconds, the blush brightening on his face (which you didn’t know was possible), even with the dirt smudged on his cheeks. He looked away, trying to gain the confidence he had before your offer, which he doubted he could get back.

Your face grew warm too, realizing how it must have felt to have that told to you. Your hands wipe your cheeks slowly, followed with a sigh. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I was just suggesting,” you mutter and look back up at the stars. The silver spots stared down at you and Treech, just as eagerly waiting for his answer as you.

Treech pressed his lips into a line and tried breathing slowly, conjuring up some confidence to at least get to kiss your soft lips. He took in a final breath, nodding his head. “I’ll take it,” he said, finally making eye contact with you, though his blush brightened.

You raised your brow and nodded. “Just know I’m not too experienced with kissing, I don’t usually go around practicing kissing with others,” you muse and gradually place your hand on his cheek.

Treech stared at you and nodded slowly, a smile gradually crossing his face. He stayed silent for several moments before realizing you spoke. “Neither am I,” he mumbled, looking from your lips to your eyes. “I don’t mind.”

You smiled back at him, trying to gain the courage to kiss him. Your lack of experience made you nervous but knowing Treech was just as experienced helped slightly. You swallowed thickly as you leaned closer and hesitantly pressed your lips to his.

Treech eagerly held your hand, tightening his grasp as he tried leaning closer, though you thought it was impossible. Your chests pressed together as you kissed him softly, not growing in intensity since you both didn’t know how. But you didn’t pull away and neither did Treech.

Your hands were placed on his upper back and neck, keeping him closer as he gradually got closer. Treech breathed heavily through his nose, though the intensity wasn’t much, it was still so much for him. It was likely used for comfort, just as much as it was for you. The softness of his lips brought a softer feeling in your chest.

Eventually, you pulled away from each other, your soft breath was felt on his lips, which were only an inch or two away from yours. It was obviously a disappointment for Treech since he hastily grew fond of the affection and instinctively leaned closer to get another from you. It was only met with gentle rejection from your end, putting your hand on his shoulder to interject with his idea.

You both laid in silence, but a nice one. Treech lazily brought his head to your chest, laying down onto you. Now the roles were reversed. He laid in your arms for comfort, mainly just because he needed to wait to no longer be lightheaded. The silver stars looked down at you now with Treech in your arms, who held your hand gently. It was doubtful that the redness of his cheeks would ever leave, especially now after the kiss.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

I'm so sorry it took so long to get back to you, I have been really busy, but I finally got to completing this!!!

My tbosas masterlist

[m0chisw1rl]

My Introduction + Boundaries જ⁀➴ ₊ ⊹

Hallo!!! I’m m0chisw1rl but you can call me mochi! Here’s something’s you need to know about me!!!

Gender- Female (afab) she/her pronouns

Hobbies- art,dance,and writing

Mbti- ISFP

Interests

Music

Men I Trust

Current Joys - Tv Girl - Clairo - Laufey

Beabadoobee - The Smiths - Cas - Montell Fish

Mitski - Phoebe Bridgers - Conan Gray - Lana Del Ray

Faye Webster - Alex G - Arctic Monkeys - Radiohead

Billie Eilish - Mac Demarco - The Weeknd - Djo

Shows/Movies/Anime

Ponyo- Aurthur and the Invisibles - Mean girls - HxH

Howls Moving Castle - KNY - Silent Voice - Spiderman

Wild Child - Bleach - Tokyo Revengers - Big Her 6

MHA - DeathNote - My Neighbor Totoro - Arcane

Things I’ll post

(diff from writing)

-random thoughts

-how im feeling (angry,sad etc)

-random angry rants (i get angry often)

- expect random posts and deletes | (• ◡•)|

Writing (will and won’t)

Will

- Fluff

-Angst

-headcannons

- M & F Reader (ONLY no character x character)- i don’t want ppl fighting over ships they don’t like

- smut (maybe, only for older characters)

-smaus

-oneshots/imagines

Won’t

-inc3st

-r@pe

-weird kinks (kn1fe,p1ss,and v0mit)

-b3astiality

-su1cide

-p3dophilia

-n0ncon

-yandere (stalking/predatory behavior)

Fandoms I Write for

-Kny (Demon Slayer)

-Mha (My Hero Academia)

-Stranger Things

-Harry Potter

-Fantastic Beasts

-Howls Moving Castle

-Percy Jackson (new movie)

-Avatar+Legend of Korra

-Naruto

-Criminal Minds

-OHSHC

-JJK

-Haikyuu

-Kuruko’s Basketball

-Genshin/ Honkai Impact

-Tokyo Revengers

-AOT

-Descendants (1-4)

-Chainsaw Man

-Saiki k

-Cobra Kai

-Kickass (1)

-Hotel Transylvania

-Miraculous

-Luca

-Meet the Robinsons

-Pen15

-Spiderman

(across/into spiderverse)

-Teen Titans (go&tv series)

-Marvel

-BSD

-Love and Deepspace

-One Piece

-Seven Deadly Sins

-Gakuen Babysitters

-TPN

-Helluva/Hazbin (maybe)

-Toilet Bound Hanako-kun

-Mob Psycho 100

[I also write stories of my own og characters]

wattpad profile -livingdead_g1rl

I hope you all can respect, my rules and my boundaries

\(^ヮ^)/!!!

[hiss-kitten]

Things the Obey Me! characters would say/do to comfort you

I need this again just so I could get rid of these su1cid@l thoughts. I'm sorry. This is for you too if you ever need it.

: The things they'll say/do to comfort you crying because of failure.

Genre: Fluff, comfort

Warnings: Su1cid@l thoughts

(Let me know if I missed something/Added something incorrect.)

— · LUCIFER :

"If you are ready to talk about it, please speak with me."

*Would probably not act like the Avatar of Pride he is and hug you*

"I will not let you go. You will stay in my room tonight." ('cause he might lose you.)

— · MAMMON :

"Hey, human! Listen up, your stupid scores ain't gonna change who you are! You're more than it!"

Will let you cry on his shoulder while he comforting you.

"You done...? Ya know, it'll be nice if ya stay here with me for a little more while..." And then "HUH!? I-I-I-I DIDN'T SAY ANYTH-TH-THING!" But he won't let you go at all.

— · LEVIATHAN :

If you want, you could play games with him or read manga or even watch anime. Whatever you want to do. He'll wait until you're ready to talk about it.

Okay, it's not time to be nervous! Mc needs me! He says in his mind and then hug you.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" He asks after you stopped crying.

— · SATAN :

Will read you a book and let you cry on him. He's willing to listen and help you on what's making you struggle and feel stressed. He's not doing it out of sympathy. He's doing it for you. To help you.

"Would you like to talk about it now?"

Will massage your head to help you calm down. If you don't like it, you can tell him.

— · ASMODEUS :

"It's okay to cry, Hun! Better than carrying that heavy feeling all day!"

Would ask you to take a nice, relaxing bath with him. He says it calms him down, and it might help you as well. But you could always say no if you're uncomfortable with the idea.

Will let you cry, will listen, will comfort, will make you happy.

— · BEELZEBUB :

"Do you want to eat with me and talk about it?"

He'll let you cry on his chest or anywhere you want. He will listen to your problems and would do his best to cheer you up.

He doesn't like seeing you sad, so he'll try princess-carrying you and rock you gently like your a baby. Hoping it'll calm you down. If you don't like it, again, you could say so.

— · BELPHEGOR :

Will drag you to bed, cuddle with you, and let you cry. He'll listen. He will.

He doesn't really know humans that much, but he's trying to calm down his beloved.

He will say "If you had asked me to assist you, I would have helped. But there's always next time, so do not worry..." In a gentle voice.

— · DIAVOLO :

"Please have a rest. You did well. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you for trying your best, it is all that matters to me."

Will shower you with praises while you cry in his arms. Will tell you how much he loves you no matter what. Will tell you that your grades/scores does not define you. He believes you did amazing, and he's proud of you for trying to do more than that.

— · BARBATOS :

"Please take some time to rest. I say you did amazing. We are proud of you, Mc."

What he says are quite similar to what Diavolo did. But, he meant what he said and it came from his heart.

Will make you tea, and cook your favourite food. Tell him what to do, your wish is his command. He isn't the type to want rewards, but talking with him about it will be the bestest reward he's ever received. He loves it when you trust him enough to tell him how and what you feel.

— · SOLOMON :

He will hug you, and kiss your forehead. Telling you that you tried your very best and he's so proud.

"Would you like to talk about it with me? I would love to help you."

He loves you so much, that he'll do his very best to see you smile and be happy. "Fears are what you must avoid. I'm here for you, Mc." He says.

— · SIMEON :

"God says that failure is okay. It is not a sin. We're all proud of you."

He'll hug you. He will let you cry just so you could lift that heavy feeling off your chest.

Will wait until you're ready to talk about it. He loves you. He'll do anything to see you smile and happy.

[missw0rldddd]

first blog

hi guys im olivia and this is my first blog :D

imma make this an introduction to myself

i like hole its my favourite band and i like jack off jill and i like the colour dark red i like poetry and art especially goth art cuz im a goth and i wanna be a famous fashion designer when i grow up

i do have an 3ating disorder but i probably wont post much about it and i do support recovery its just not for me :p please dont report just block

i like movies and manga and anime my favourite director is satoshi kon and my favourite of his works, though its not a movie is paranoia agent!! my favourite manga artist is fujimoto and i love fire punch and his one shots :D i like chainsaw man too duh but i havent finished reading it D:

i really like movies my favourites are all about lily chou chou look back my su1cide and manic i have a letterboxd and i might link it idk

i love all my friends lilith alice and ava and i love love love love love love archie

i think ive written too much now and i dont want to make people bored D: so this is the end of my first blog yay bye

[watashime-ciel]

explaining the reason why some songs were added to some of my RH playlists because i cant just drop that and not elaborate and i have nothing better to do

i believe the title cannot be clearer than that so. yeah

when i quote a lyrics from the song instead of explaining thats because its a piece of lore im not ready to share because its too personal, too explicit, too sad, or i simply dont want to. this can make you think whats going on with the goofy goobers and make your own headcanons or scenarios. maybe. idk. still, huge TW for lyrics touching mental health generally, su1cide, s/h, EDs and s3xual themes

and ocean o'connor rosenberg

STARTING WITH DJ YELLOW because i always follow the same pattern when i talk of rhythm heaven

RAT A TAT WRITER by FAKE TYPE.: one of his favourite electro swing songs, which he forced Red to make a cover of

Valentino by Olly Alexander: "i should've known not to trust Valentino."

Wanna Be Someone by Telehope: a comfort song for his grey days

Toon Bangers by FAKE TYPE.: his first feminine cosplay was DEMONDICE in Toon Bangers, debuting with Connie and Red in a big convention. they performed that song so it has a special place in his heart

Born This Way by Lady Gaga: guess. just guess. because yellow is the straightest person i know /j

Happy Pills by Weathers: "the voices in my right brain are kinda funny. they tell me, take a deep breath. it's always sunny." piece of lore i'm not ready to share, but maybe dj yellow isn't that happy after all

Help! Oh, Well... by I'm Something Else YT: literally the song explains everything. and yes he needs help /hsrs

Poison by Blake Roman: "what's the worst part of this Hell? I can only blame myself", "wish I had something to live for tomorrow"

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: "but it's so overwhelming and i hope no one can tell, cuz the numbers keep decreasing, this ordeal is becoming routine. check; arms, back, neck, thighs. suck it in and pinch my sides. the scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie! numbers. it all comes down to numbers. i know it's wrong, but just because you know you're colourblind it doesn't means you can't see the colours. fine! i admit i'm addicted! but the hunger feels good, how do i quit this?! i know i could die, i've seen the statistics! but the voices are with me through thick and thin..."

Noel's Lament from Ride The Cyclone: Yellow is like Noel fr and he quotes "GOD DAMMIT WOULD YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR JUST A SECOND YOU HORRIBLE SUCCUBUS!?" everyday

MEGANE by UltraNoob: ...he's a completely different person when he uses his glasses. way different.

Trapped In A Dream by RudyWade: the amount of times he woke up from a dream INSIDE A DREAM is insane, feeling like alive is not something he is during those moments. and he always feels like hes going to be trapped forever, which he hates because "the feeling of not being alive is not like not being alive, that's terrifying..". quote, "the clock is ticking, time's running out. i need to wake up, i need to shout. i need to find my way back to life. [...] wake me up, set me free from this dreaming misery. i need to feel alive again!"

Lagtrain by 稲葉曇: the whole song is one he finds the most melancholic of all. he usually hears Mako sing it, and he just breaks down to tears because its so magestic yet so sad and entertaining and melodic and-

Girls by MARINA: "look like a girl, but i think like a guy. not lady like to behave like a slime.", "is there any possibility you'll quit gossiping about me to hide your insecurities? all you say is blah, blah. girls, they never befriend me cuz i fall asleep when they speak of all the calories they eat! all they say is nanananana."

Magical Doctor by MARETU: literally the heaviest song he uses to vent emotionally. like- he screams along

I/Me/Myself by Will Wood: "i wish i could be a girl! and, really, i'd prefer it if you used 'i/me/myself'. am i pretty enough? am i pretty enough to fucking die!?"

bonus: cardigan by Taylor Swift. "you drew stars around my scars". this is something Blue voluntarely offered Yellow to do as a way of comfort and help with urges, also adding the rainbow breathing technique

the end. probably as i add more i will add more to this explanation list in a separate post

BLUE🗣️🗣️

Descartable by Tronic: a song he animated fully of him and all his friends (and yellow). it was the first time he got out his comfort zone

Space Age Bachelor Man from Ride The Cyclone: his ocs and Ricky are very much the same in terms of... lore. but not Ricky's lore. i mean the space Jesus lore. if you watched the musical you know what i mean

Tiempo by Darkar Alatriz (Vete A La Versh): this song hits me way too personally, as i always dedicate it to my deceased pet dog. i really cant get into much detail without hearing the lyrics in my head and thinking of her, but i dont want to keep this song out and act like its not there. i can only say Blue also lost something important to him at an age he considers young. but it wasnt a pet, but two people that are important for a young person whos still growing up

At Atelier by FAKE TYPE.: he sticks to the idea of "imagination has no limits" really well like Miss Atelier, always working hard to improve and finding inspiration everywhere

Candy by Paolo Nutini: okay. i cant act like this story didnt happen. at some point, Blue proposes to Yellow, and he obviously accepts. Candy was playing during Yellow's entrance. but this story happens in the future. waaaaay into the future... but

Cendrillon 10th Anniversary by DiosP: this is the song that replaced the classic waltz music. this song was also Blue and Yellow's debut in a cosplay contest as Cendrillon Miku and Cendrillon KAITO, winning on best performance btw

Alguien Como Tú by Jósean Log: this song is in Spanish, but its about a man in love with a woman. the woman either doesnt knows or doesnt feels the same for him, so he sings asking if she knows someone else with certain qualities she has, saying that if he cant be with her he wants to be with someone like her. during the years where Blue wanted to confess to Yellow but he was scared, he felt very much like this

Keep This To Myself by Casper Caan: the calm and melancholic tune of the song plus the chorus makes him think of the times he repressed his own feelings to help Yellow, as he is the one thats in danger almost everytime, not Blue. "Cuz I have a plan you don't know; i'll keep this to myself"

No Llora by El Cuarteto De Nos: i invite you to translate the lyrics to understand better. this is another song that hits me way too personally so i cant drop the lore. but have this in mind: Blue represses his own feelings so much that he can be a bit emotionless from the outside. now its because he wants to focus on Yellow's health first, but back in the day, he used to do it to prove himself he is strong enough to not cry for everything. although he would go back home and cry on Ann Gler's shoulder (Ann Gler took take of him during his childhood). thats all i can say. i cant quote anything because it burns

J.J

although many of those songs are what he plays on the guitar or sings, there are a few that go beyond that

Get Out The Way by Mother Mother: "i'm not antisocial, i'm just tired of the people. and i'm fine while rolling solo, so get out."

I Can't Handle Change by ROAR: "nothing i do is ever good. nothing i do is ever good enough. nothing i do is ever good. [...] leave me alone, leave me alone..." "i can't help but redeem myself, i know it's not your fault. still, lately i begin to shake for no reason at all."

all Megamasso songs: part of his lore, where he played in the Rhythm Heaven equivalent of Megamasso (Leo [Watashime Slug]'s band before WataSlug) as the second guitar

Christmas Kids by ROAR: "you'll change your name and change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind, but i'll know, i'll know..." "if you ever try to leave me, i'll find you, Ronnie."

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: "you gotta see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me, baby. i am unruly in the stands. i am a rock on top of the sand. i am a fist amidst the hands, and i break it just because i can. let's break it just because we can! deface it just because we can! let's break it just because!... just because.... just because, just because..."

Do You Think About Me?: surprisingly, his mental health improved the instant he befriended Cecil, and got even better when they started dating. although, at some point, he got to a downfall. he becane a clingy person towards Cecil, always anxious if Cecil is being honest or not. in the end, they are the only shoulder he can cry on. "there's a fairytale in our song, it brought us together, gave us a new start. i was lost, falling apart. you gave me a spot somewhere in your heart... and act of God? a shooting star? you came from afar, with open arms... it was so dark, as cold as November almost over, i told ya..."

Cecil💥

What The World Needs from Ride The Cyclone: Ocean reminds them of their mother. she, in reality, was a very close minded, mean, homophobic and egocentric. if you didn't do something as she wanted, then the world doesn't needs you. thankfully she changed, but she was a pain in the ass. like Ocean. nobody likes Ocean.

the majority of songs that sound childish, are from kids shows, etc etc, stick to their desire of never growing up and enjoy a happy childhood they really didn't have. i don't know if it's age regression, at least in Cecil's case (but it is for another goofy goober i'm not specifying), but they find the most comfort in a childish environment, ambiented with music

Body by Mother Mother: us genderqueer people have been in that existential crisis where we even question ourselves if we even exist. well, it got to Cecil really fast the moment they let their hair grow enough to look at themself in the mirror and scream in confussion. and somedays it got really bad that they just- well- read the lyrics-

Towards The Sun by Rihanna: no their favourite movie is not Home. its more of the melancholic tune that they like. it also helps them release more tears when crying becomes a hard task, and even need help with that

we fell in love in october by girl in red: J.J AND CECIL STARTED DATING IN OCTOBER. I REPEAT, J.J AND CECIL STARTED DA-

i wanna be your girlfriend: the day before Cecil confessed felt like that for them

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: they struggle to eat. simple as that. maybe it's the colour, the shape, the smell, the taste... they just struggle and need time to finish a few bites. they're in their way tho, trying new foods everyday with J.J's help. the song is not directly on their playlist, it's just like a character soundtrack, as much of the lyrics can be connected to Cez

Last Effect by last note.: berore playing the guitar, they played the violin, and this song is one they played last before switching completely to the guitar. coincidently, both violin and guitar are essential on that song

with this we conclude the goofy goobers songs that have a reason to be in the playlists i made. yes i know their stories are sad. no i dont regret anything. yes much of those headcanons were made for my own comfort. no i dont give a shit whatchu think🫂

im cold guys its like 7° outside thats too cold

anyways GOOD NEWS i got a job (yippee) so i will finally get money to buy that one compilation visual kei album with watashime slug's kyo x batsu japanese version omfg im- guys. guys its a dream come true

bye guys drink wotah plz dont get dehidrated

[starryfield-sys]

Your Tommy fictive web weave is so so lovely!! I was wondering if you could link the artists that were included in it? The one with Tommy holding a knife with blue on it really caught my attention and tried to look up the artist but couldn’t find them 😔

YES ofc ofc !! i did find these on pinterest , and wasn't able to find the " i need you " one in the middle sadly ! sorry !! they're both below the cut :]

CW for animal cruelty , specifically towards friend the sheep

TW for su1cide baiting / saying to ky$

[wearysoulart]

partial hanging ftw. does a few minutes of pain sound that bad in comparison to a futile existence? i have to think about this everyday.

(〃=x=)

[andreaheartscats]

Sk8 the infinity Headcanons (angst)

BIG TW!!! mention of: sh, ed, su1cide, possible gr00ming etc.. read at your own risk please !!

and if anyone is struggling with anything that is going to be talked about PLEASE seek out some help or talk to someone you trust!!!!

hellooo! welcome to yet another depressing post!!:)) i hope you all had a good day/night because im about to ruin it!! (im joking pls im sorry-) anyways i hope you enjoy this little post ! keep in mind im writing for fun and im english isnt my first laungage! (not me writing angst and sad shit when i get my feelings hurt, whaaaat🗣️)

Miya

you all know how Miya is strict about his diet in the anime (for those who watched), well thats because he has an eating disorder but doesnt want to admit it to himself because he thinks he is perfect. Sometimes when he does eat some junk food that he was forced to eat by Reki or Langa, he makes himself throw it up as soon as possible. Which lead him to fainting due to the lack of calories intake, stomach issues and much more.

Reki

Reki is a glass child. Which may be obviuse in the anime? but im not sure. Reki always felt like he wasnt good enough for anyone or anything, like anything he did was wrong like his whole existence was a mistake. which lead him to trying to take his own life. He also struggles a lot with self harm and for a long time now, of course none of his family noticed that or his unusual behavior.

Langa

since Langas father passed away since he was a kid, he searchs for him in other men. He may be young but having a male adult look over him and love him was all he ever wanted. He started talking to older guys...like way older than you might think. Which lead to other things like having a intimate relationship with many older men.

thank you for reading and i must say i do NOT romanticize any of the topics said in this blog, please again if anyone is struggling with any kind if this stuff seek help or talk to someone you trust !! love you all smm!!💗

[warm-starlight]

Same anon from before. I read that translation from the event (thank you, fellow anon 💕) but it really bummed me out. I didn't think they would talk about LH's relationship or farewell so no surprise there but now it seems like they really did mean for Hange to be excited and relieved to be running off to their death. Everyone says that the anime made the scene feel less su1cidal than the manga but with that new info it sounds like it was the opposite :(

Oh well, i didn't really expect anything else. I am done with being disappointed. Tbh i have pretty much moved on from the series entirelly, just gonna enjoy some merch art if some drops because of nostalgia.

[queervegancryptid]

all work and no play makes me a dull, miserable shell of a nonbinary trans boy. i guess.

TW: mention of animal de4th, su1cidal ideation, and just a fuckton of general self-hatred

i woke up today feeling like i could barely walk. i wanted to go back to sleep, but my body hurt too badly. so i got up, turned on the water heater, fed the cat, waited for the water to get hot, ran half my bath, waited another 20 minutes for more hot water, and added bubbles and epsom salt.

the good news is, i felt better afterwards. the not so great news is that i've still been in so much pain all day that i haven't been able to do anything other than lie on the couch.

shadow, my cat, i adore her and know she loves me, but... i feel like a fucking dick because being around her reminds me of snippet, so i find myself avoiding her a lot. a whole lot.

i would never neglect her or any other animal. but she's so loving and affectionate, and for some reason, all i can think about is death.

and i don't mean in an edgelord, look-how-dark-i-am kind of way. i mean i genuinely see death everywhere and would very much like it to stop. it's worst with her for obvious reasons, but it's pretty pervasive. it feels like the concept just sort of draped itself around me and refuses to let go.

i hate being here. we can't afford to move, of course, but i hate being in this apartment so much since snippet got sick, and it's somehow worse now. and everyday, several times a day, i get this gut-wrenching feeling, and i just think, "i wanna go home."

except i'm already here. and because of the pain, especially today, and not to mention the fact that it's summertime and i live in florida and don't drive, it's like i'm trapped here.

i'm so tired of feeling like this. i don't want to die, but sometimes that's all i can think about: there's no escape, i have this eating disorder garbage in my head damn near 24/7, and everywhere i look, i'm reminded of snippet and everything that led up to her death.

i don't want to die. but i can't live like this anymore. it isn't fair to shadow or my partner, either. for a long time, i've felt like i didn't matter, and lately, i feel like i just make everything i touch worse.

i don't know what to do with this feeling. i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of being bitter and angry. to top it off, i feel less attractive and less capable than ever, which is saying a lot. simply put, it's hard to justify my existence. everyone around me deserves better, and i don't know why i can't seem to shake this.

my partner doesn't understand fully, but he's incredibly supportive and does everything he can for me. shadow doesn't understand, and i can't explain it to her. i'm loved. i should be happy. i want to make things better, and i don't know why it's so hard. they both just deserve so much better than i feel like i'm capable of being anymore.

i'm just in a really dark place lately. and i remind myself a lot of my mother, which is just... i feel like throwing something, which is what she would do. i feel like screaming and crying and yelling STOP, but what am i even yelling at? myself? my mind? my mother's disembodied spirit?

all i know is, i can't go through anymore death right now.

snippet died because she got cancer, then passed away in bed next to me and my partner less than six hours before a vet was to come and put her to sleep. i hate myself for not being able to save her, and i hate myself for not being able to give shadow the attention and affection she so clearly wants and deserves.

i hate myself for having an eating disorder and i hate myself for not wanting to recover. it feels like no matter what i do, i can't stop making things worse.

i just want my life back.

[sigs-gurney]

So I started morbidly planning my funeral after watching these vids of a funeral director answering Twitter questions (as one does), and I noticed some parallels with what I want at my wedding as well.

List includes

Optional donations to an animal/wildlife charity for those who can’t bring gifts/contribute

Strawberries for decorative vegetation

Eco-friendly as possible without being too expensive to put together

Home made food (esp pasta) preferable

Weird nightmare fuel 80s movies and other films with stop motion and puppets (Jim Henson, Coraline, etc)

Pinks and whites

Music: Windward Away by Julie Fowlis, Today by John Denver, etc..

Mandatory activity table for kids so they don’t bug the adults too much and feel included/accommodated

Ironically hiring the lowest-rated, inaccurate local psychic to do readings for guests

Just to be clear I’m not su1cid@l at all. I’m just quite the planner and love to hyperfixate on hypothetical events like this. I also clearly have an alright relationship with death, as exemplified by how many parallels there are for both events. I think things like memorial services should be celebrations of life where people can come together to support each other in a healthy manner. Kind of like how guest should attend a wedding to show support for a couple and the joining of two families as opposed to, you know, making it all about themselves and how ‘emotional’ they are about the whole thing :)))