#angsty fanfiction lmao what else can i say???

[plutoccult]

ALWAYS THE ARTIST, NEVER THE MUSE

pairing: eren yeager x gender neutral reader

description: you know you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for eren, but you did anyway, and it only left you with nothing but hurt when you knew his heart belonged to another. after months of torture, you finally have the strength to let go, granting you the happiness you so desperately needed back in your life.

word count: 1.7k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: happy december? no, angsty december. this particular one shot is a little personal for me because it’s based off a final conversation i had with someone who i essentially let have hold of my heart for far too long and finally had the strength to let go of them a few months ago. he’s like jake gyllenhaal minus the age gap. i say this because he gave me the ability to relate to the moment i knew aka not being there for my 21st birthday! insane! i did however make it less personal by giving it some how i met your mother vibes, but there’s still inklings of my personal life in it. writing helps me heal and express my feelings in a way that i’m comfortable with, so i feel good writing this as part of my healing journey? corny to use fanfiction for healing, but to each their own. sorry if this is too angsty, but imagine how my life has been LMAO. anyway, big shoutout to my friend @toorubobatea for beta reading this. i really wanted her to read it before i posted it, so thank you queen!! and now i hope you guys can enjoy it just like she did! mwah! and i’m tagging @jeanboyjean since she so kindly asked me to <3

you knew that the day you met eren yeager, your life would never be the same, but my god, did it your life turn upside down. pulled in so many different directions you couldn’t tell what was left or right anymore. you felt like you were losing yourself in the process, but you wanted more of him like you wanted to breathe air.

it was always a mistake. one beautiful, soul-crushing mistake. he’d lead you on with mixed signals and uncertainty, but you lived for the thrill because it was the only interesting thing going on in your life. it’s “for the plot”, as you’d always say. even if your friends told you a million times he was bad news and you would only get hurt in the end, you didn’t care.

he was just your friend, that’s what you two always claimed; just friends, but you always sensed a hint of a lie in those words. you couldn’t be just friends. not when he remembered everything you said down to what you had for lunch last week or that time your mother fainted as she watched you get stitches for the first time as a kid. not when he spoke to you everyday like clockwork, a routine that seemed to come easy. how could you ever be just friends? how could it not be more?

you were inevitably in love with eren yeager, and it crushed you when you realized he never once had those feelings for you. not only that, but he was in love with someone else; mikasa ackerman, his best friend since childhood. it all made perfect sense, and you wished you never met him in the first place. but even then, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him. as long as he didn’t know of your feelings, everything would be fine, right? oh, how you were so, so wrong.

you tortured yourself every time you spoke to him. you listened to him as he pined for mikasa, too scared to admit his feelings to her. of course you knew what it was like to be in that position, the one you wanted was sitting right in front of you and he didn’t seem to have a clue. it frustrated you so much, but even so, you’d rather have something instead of nothing with him. such a sad way to feel, such a sad way to live when you think about it now. always the artist, never the muse. constantly crafting for others, nothing ever created just for you.

you’d push those feelings deep down into the darkest pit of your heart, but no matter how hard you tried, it would all come back every time you saw his face or even thought of him. those thoughts of maybe if you were prettier, funnier, and just overall better plagued your mind, but you had to shake them away. one day, you knew, you’d ultimately become fed up and blow up about it. it was the only way you knew how, the only way you could be free.

so now here you were, sitting at your usual booth in your favorite bar—assuming it may no longer be yours after tonight—waiting for eren to arrive so you could talk. you assumed he could sense your seriousness and urgency when you texted him, but you figured so be it. one way or another, you’d do this.

he arrived like you expected. you refused to let him make you second guess yourself, so you kept your cool and acted as normal before you dropped the bomb on him. besides, the shot you took before he showed up was quite the help, plus the drink you swirled around in its glass now.

eren walked over to the bar to grab a drink before heading over to the booth, expecting you to stand up and greet him with a hug like always, but you remained in your seat, clutching your drink in your hands.

“hey, i got your text.” he said as he sat down across from you.

“i see that.” you reply. he noticed you were acting different, not like the y/n he knew. it was obvious you had something on your mind, and since he knew you so well, eren could sense you were going to spill your guts about something.

“what’s up? is something wrong?” eren asked. this was it.

“i just.” you pause. oh god, you were really doing this. “i just wanted to say that i’m done with whatever this is.”

he’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say. you feel like the words are all coming out like vomit. you almost wish you were spewing real vomit right now, but you weren’t quite drunk enough for that. you had to get through this hellish conversation first, at least.

“i’m done. i’m not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. i’m done trying. i’m giving up.” you say, tears threatening to stream down your face, but you fight them away. “i’m done exhausting myself of trying to be something i’ll never be because deep down i know i’ll never be yours.”

eren should’ve seen this coming. all those times you fell silent when he ranted to you about his love problems. you always wanted to scream in his face about how the one person in this world that actually wanted him was always right there, that it was you. even so, he could never give you what you wanted, and he felt like the worst person in the world because of it.

you wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. if this was going to be your final conversation, he might as well say something. “well, speak now or forever hold your peace because i’m clearly not holding mine.”

“i mean, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear.” eren finally spoke. “i’m just shocked.”

“trust me, i never expected to say it either, but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that i care too much.” you tearfully admit. “too much about you when i know where your heart belongs and it’s not with me.”

“i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant for things to get like this.” he said with sincerity, although you wondered if it was all a lie. “and you must know that there was never any hostile intentions behind any of my actions.”

“that’s funny. it always seemed like there was.” you looked down at your drink, quickly moving your gaze back to him as he spoke once more.

“no, you…” eren paused, trying to put the words together in the best way he could. even if he didn’t seem like it, he did care someway, somehow. “you’ve been there for me when i needed someone most and i’m really, really grateful for that, but i can’t give you what you want, and i’ve been unfair to you as a result. i’m sorry.”

huh. this really wasn’t what you were expecting. where’s the insults? where’s the twisting of your words? why is he actually being apologetic and taking accountability? you wanted to say this was crazy, but this is eren you’re talking about. you always knew he was too good. too good to ever be yours, even.

“you know, this is usually the part where you flip out and make it all my fault instead by calling me delusional and crazy.” you force a laugh. might as well laugh through the pain, right?

“i’m not gonna flip out.” eren said.

“why?” you question him.

“because i know i’ve done wrong by you.” he replied.

“well, that’s a shock.” you take a sip of your drink, tempted to chug it, but eren’s words shocked you into stopping the liquid from going past your lips.

“it shouldn’t have to be, y/n.” he frowned. “you deserve someone who won’t weigh you down. you deserve to move on, even if it’s not flattering for me.”

you set down your drink as you let out a sigh and briefly cover your face, rubbing your eyes before showing yourself once more. “i hate that you’re being so nice about this. i was expecting to yell at you or something.”

“do you want to?” eren asked you.

as much as past you would have loved to, you didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. “no… i’m okay. this is better.”

“you sure?”

“yeah, positive.” you say, followed by silence. there wasn’t much for you to say anymore, and you couldn’t beat on this dead horse any longer. it was time to finally say goodbye, no matter how much it pained you to do so. “um, i guess we should just end this here, huh?”

“yeah, guess so.” he looked away. this hurt eren too, but you both knew this was for the best. you’ll be thankful later down the road.

“would it be totally wrong to sneak in a taylor swift quote right now?” you ask, almost immediately regretting the question.

“no, go for it.”

“eh, maybe not. too corny.” you thought it would be best to keep those words to yourself. besides, it was too hard to pin it down to just one thing. he was worth a hundred songs, ones you may never listen to the same way, but that’s okay.

“she’s a wise, wise woman, you know.” eren said, a grin slowly creeping up on his face, despite the circumstances.

“yeah, she is.” you softly smile. at least you could end this on a little good note.

“goodbye, y/n. i wish you the best in everything.”

“goodbye, eren. i really hope you get her someday.”

and with that, you placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left the bar, no longer claiming it as your favorite and leaving it to eren, along with your favorite place to sit. like with everything else in life, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, and that’s okay. you knew that now.

it was such a strange feeling, having this weight lifted off your shoulders. you had been burdened with this boulder for so long you forgot what it felt like to be weightless. you were finally clean of eren yeager, light as a feather, but most importantly, happy, and freeing yourself of such delusions was the greatest gift you could ever receive.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[valve3nthusiast]

Rodimus gets pregnant with a conjunxed mech's baby, serious/angsty version. We need more fucked up dratchrod fr

I can't believe the first ever fanfiction I write is Ratchet doing medical malpractice lmao

Fuckin,,, uh,,, warning for mention of miscarriage/imagined threat to an unborn child??? I feel like I should warn for that.

Ratchet liked to believe he tolerated Rodimus with the same grace he gave to the rest of Drift's most ridiculous eccentricities. Just because they were conjunxed, didn't mean they were perfectly in tune and of the same opinion on everything. Every relationship had to have some give and take.

At the very least, Rodimus was cheaper than the crystal collection.

But that did mean he had to hear more about Rodimus than he ever really wanted to. And when Drift started expressing his concerns about "Roddy not feeling "himself"'...

A suspicion had crept over him, like a coolant rupture slowly freezing his energon lines.

Rodimus walked into the medbay, aiming for flippantly casual and falling just short of the mark. Rodimus tended to avoid the medbay when Ratchet was on shift. Even discounting that, he could see what Drift meant about that "disturbed energy" nonsense. Rodimus's field was noticeably (at least, for a medic) pulsing at a lower frequency.

"So what did you call me down for, doc?"

Ratchet got straight to the point. He didn't have the patience for anything else.

"I need to do an examination." He gestured vaguely to the table. "Up you go."

Rodimus took one look at the medberth configuration and snickered. Climbing up and putting his legs into position, he started, "If this is your way of saying you want a threesome-"

"Can it." He snapped, working the latches on the stirrups.

Rodimus, legs spread, reclined on the exam table. Ratchet found he had even less of a tolerance than usual for Rodimus's chatter, though it was more in the vein of nervous rambling.

"I don't have a virus, doc, you would know," he said, with an obnoxious little browplate wiggle. Ratchet deliberately tuned him out, especially the uptick of irrelevant and vaguely sexual comments once he brought out the speculum. Thankfully, Rodimus still retracted his panel without a fight.

Rodimus had a larger than average anterior node, and line of biolights trailing down his valve lips that matched the node's vibrant red color. As Ratchet spread his slit and inserted the speculum, he saw that the internal lights were the same.

It's a very pretty valve. He can see why Drift would like it.

Unfortunately, he can't confirm the absence of what he's looking for with a visual alone. (Not to mention that the pulsing and flaring of internal biolights wasn't helping visibility any.)

Ratchet gently removed the speculum, ignoring the strings of lubricant that stretched and snapped between the tool and Rodimus.

"I'm going to have to do a manual examination. Try not to flex your calipers or pelvic floor."

Rodimus squeaked out something affirmative. Ratchet pressed two fingers into his valve, but was unsurprised to note that he'd need to insert more to find what he was looking for.

...Rodimus was silken smooth to the touch. He straightend four fingers and slowly pushed in further, firmly ignoring how the soft and wet valve lining trembled around his hand, until Rodimus's anterior node met the dip between his thumb and palm.

With most patients, he wouldn't insert something this big in one go, but it was Rodimus. Ratchet would bet he'd taken something bigger in the past day.

His fingertips ghosted across Rodimus's ceiling node, before finally finding the forge iris.

And confirming his suspicion.

"Congratulations. You're sparked." Even with how distant his own voice sounded to his audials, he could tell it was bitingly cold. Unfortunately, it's not viable, he doesn't say, fingertips gently pressed to the seal, soft, perfectly intact. The gestational seal that protects the protoform appears to have already ruptured. Your systems will register the breach as a confirmed contamination of foreign bodies, and terminate the protoform.

Ratchet looks up, finally, to see Rodimus.

There's a subtle tremor on his lips. Fear, in his matrix-blue eyes. His spark, suddenly, feels flayed open under them.

It could be in reaction to the news. Ratchet knows it isn't. He knows:

Rodimus is scared of him.

His fingers were absentmindedly stroking over the seal, and he nearly snatched them back like they'd been burned. The hand that calmly pulls out of Rodimus's valve doesn't feel like his.

For one delirious moment, he wondered if Rodimus would do just that. Light up his ridiculous mod, and burn the three of them to death together. All of them gone, in one final moment of complete and total devastation.

Drift, entirely alone, with only the memory of a conjunx to cling to. Nothing left to tell him of the sparkling he would never know he had.

The moment ends. Ratchet finds that he's the one rambling now, statistics about carriages, essential nutrients, general hazards. Somewhere in all of that, Rodimus gets unbuckled from the medberth.

He rattles out something about scheduling him regular check ups with First Aid.

And,

"I'll leave you to tell Drift the good news."

Ratchet can't look at him when he says it.

Rodimus leaves his medbay without any further commentary.

[shiftingtomydrs]

Marauders DR

sooo yeah this is gonna be confusing probably and definitely not organized but if youve read some of my rants youll be used to it by now haha

alright, so similar as in my golden trio dr, im the same person i am in my cr (like name, family, looks) plus the whole witch thing. i am also part of ravenclaw and a muggleborn. my s/o is james potter and i did kinda script out voldemort bcs we dont want that. james and i have the friends to lovers slowburn angsty arc and im not quite sure if i should script im related to lily / my last name is also evans bcs hear me out, someone asks james who he has a crush on and he just says evans and people start assuming its lily but its me and so he goes with it bcs he doesnt wanna ruin our friendship. so yeah. thats gonna happen now bcs now that i wrote it out loud i love it. i again dont play quidditch bcs scared of heights and stuff haha soo idk yet if ill do any sport (is there another sport?). i also wanna be an animagus but idk yet what form bcs i like the 'soulmates have the same form' headcanon but i also wanna be a cat. soo yeah. idk. ideas would be great. i scripted that i can be in the gryffindor common room / i never get caught doing it (idk if its actually forbidden or not tbh but id say yes) and im kinda the typical nerdy good smart girl soo i can pull of shit and teachers dont suspect me so i get away with it haha. james thinks its unfair. i also scripted in this one fanfic i once read and keep rereading bcs its so good (its a german translation and i cant find the original one sadly) and its basically the marauders finding a magical book with fanfiction about them inside it. its hilarious soo yeah i put that in it was like the first thing i put. i have two sisters but both of them are muggles. after hogwarts idk yet what i wanna do, maybe become a healer (no but fr what can you do except work in the ministerium, teacher, healer, journalist, or open a store or smth? jobs are limited in the wizarding world imo) or an auror (thats what you can do lmao but it kinda falls into ministerium i guess?). i dont have a pinterest thing for this dr yet but i imagine my aesthetic is kinda light academia / dark academia (idk the difference but i like both) and yeah. from the 3rd year on i do arithmancy, runes and care of magical creatures. i also do apparition classes in year 7.

idk what else i can say atm haha but if you wanna know more pls dont be shy to ask questions <3

[resplendent-chungus]

Fanfic 20 questions! This seems really fun, thanks for tagging me @followerofmercy

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

Twenty-six! Which I think is a bunch when not compared to insane people who right, say, a hundred twenty fics. Cough Mercy.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

179,826, though I will add since I got my start in fic writing quests on Sufficient Velocity, there's another 113.2K that's not on AO3.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My tastes are as fickle as the wind. I am a wandering ronin writing whatever I feel like. I theoretically write RWBY but also haven't updated a RWBY fic since January. I thought I was done with Madoka fics but then I heard news about the movie and had no choice but to write Heartless. I've written 3 A Practical Guide To Evil fics over 5 years. Who fuckin knows with me?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Breaking and Entering Your Heart (Madoka Magica) is, somehow, my most kudo'd fic of all time. I have no idea why. I don't think it's particularly good (not helped by the fact that I was like 16 when I wrote it). It's not even my favourite Madoka fic I wrote as a teenager!

Doka Don't You Know (Madoka Magica) is my favourite Madoka fic I wrote as a teenager. It's still kind of embarrassing for me to read back, but I do think I did good with it. The real embarrassing part is that it was inspired by me getting emotional listening to the Ninja Sex Party song of a similar name.

Drabble Roulette (Steven Universe) is sort of cheating, as it was a drabble collection I did with several friends, but nevertheless it's one of the most kudo'd fics I've worked on. We all did a short fic every week based on the same one-word prompt, and God we kicked ass.

I can almost hear the Hounds (RWBY) is definitely the one I'm most proud of. What if Ruby got turned into a Hound before V1? Well everyone would be sad, for one. It also holds the distinction of being the first time anyone's ever done a "Cast of [show] reacts!" thing to a fic I've read. Talk about an ego boost!

And my fifth-most kudo'd fic is... Actions, Consequences, and the Tragic Lack Thereof (Worm)? The edgy oneshot I did where a very well-adjusted Taylor uses Coil's power to blow off steam? Huh. Not either of my RWBY oneshots? Well I suppose I can't complain.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not really. I try, but as I've said before responding to comments is my dump stat. I really do love everyone's comments, I'm sooo insanely bad at responding sdgsd

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It depends on what qualifies as an angsty ending; most of my angsty fics have happy endings, with Heartless being the only one I've written to really contradict that. Blood, Blood, Gallons of the Stuff and Sometimes the only way out is as a carcass have the worst endings insofar as horrible fates, but I wouldn't really call them angst.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Trim and nothing else? It depends on how you define it, but I'd say that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, thankfully. I straight up can't remember anything of the sort lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Boy, do I! Of the smut I've published, I'd say it's pretty varied? Some het, some gays, some ships and an OC or two... I've got the variety, baby.

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really? I find they're usually more daydream material than hunker-down-and-write material, though sometimes I have no choice. I have a chapter or two of the most self-indulgent APGTE/RWBY crossover that I doubt I'd ever put out there on account of it having a target audience of exactly one. Craziest would probably be the Madoka Magica/Magical Girl Noir Quest crossover I wrote as a teenager. It's harder to get more self-indulgent than fanfiction of a fanfiction crossing it over with the source material sdgds

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sort of vaguely remember this happening? I remember someone posting a really poorly written edgy SU fic that had the exact same premise as my slightly better written edgy SU fic and only updated after mine did.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of, though if anyone wants to please feel free.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? The Drabble roulette is the closest I've come, and that was a bunch of individual shorties. Besides, I can't imagine I'd have a great time trying to fit my writing process with someone else (and I definitely don't think they'd have a good time trying to adjust to me lmao)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

God that's tough. I'm not sure I can give a definitive answer here. I might have to say Madohomu or Midlink just because of how deeply they've altered my brain chemistry

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Brother that is most of what I've written. I really want to get Tomorrow I'll be perfect and You waxen wing, you foolish thing done at some point, though I'm not sure I'm will. The Most Insane Girls On Remnant is a work so in progress that only one person knows it even exists, and if I could magic myself into fully writing one it would probably be that one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

If I could write an entire book of nothing but snarky narrators I would be a new york times bestseller by now. They are my bread and butter. Comedy in general, I guess, but that specifically.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. Action scenes action scenes action scenes. It's not so much that I think I'm bad at them, more that they're just so hard for me. I could write a thousand words of most anything else before I write five hundred words of an action scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't super mind it when reading, but I can't imagine writing it. Maybe a word or two, but still.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote down Madoka Magica at first, but now I'm realizing it was actually Warrior Cats, all the way back when I was a wee little child. I'm not sure if I deleted them or just changed ff.net accounts at some point, but I don't know where they are and I'm happy that way.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I mean it's gotta be I can almost hear the Hounds. There's a lot of other things like (Aw Drat, Tomorrow I'll be Perfect, etc) but this one hold a special place in my heart. There's a reason I have chapter on pinned in my blog.

Damn that took me like three days to write. I shall pass the curse onto @golddragon387, of course, and perhaps @borkthemork to torment him

[chloeangelic]

you’re on a website full off mentally ill people lol (and I really don’t mean that in a bad way, but tumblr especially has always been a place for people to be open about mental health and stuff)

People here are always gonna be too intense, too into stuff, too whatever. Some people aren’t able to slip back into a normal mindset after reading a fic and yeah, that’s on them. But as long as they don’t send any hate it’s their business.

You whole post about how Joel can be a mass murder and everyone still loves him but what happens in rendezvous makes him a “bad” person to everyone. Meh. It’s all just fanfiction, it’s really not that deep. Obviously when we’re reading most things from readers perspective it feels shitty and makes Joel look shitty. He’s not gonna be a mass murder in a no outbreak fic so the boundaries are going to be completely different. And personally I would consider what Joel did cheating, not on MC but on Katy, but you’re the author, you decide.

And yeah, people are gonna be mad about angst and especially angst/bad endings. (Again, as long as they don’t send mean/hate asks, I think it’s fine?) you gave enough warnings so its up to them to decide if they want to read it. But some people are never going to stop wanting happy endings and that’s okay too. Life is already shitty enough, why read fanfic about a shitty life lol. And for people reading Joel fanfic, obviously a shitty ending would be for him to be with someone else and not “you”

It would be a completely different story if the “you” is Katy, obviously. And then people would feel shitty at the thought of Joel with current rendezvous MC.

And yeah, you did warn enough. But some people just don’t read or care about warnings. (Like for example, some people on AO3 turn off seeing all the tags so they don’t get spoiled about what happens lol.) then it is of course their own fault. I obviously don’t know what kind of asks you got that were deleted but the ones you posted don’t really seem bad? Katy isn’t actually a real person (besides the person you got the name from) just like Joel isn’t actually a real person so who cares if someone insults them lol

You should probably turn off anon asks if the last chapter is going to piss off everyone. But I also think you knew what was gonna happen when you post a series like that lol

i mean you basically said it yourself - people are responsible for reading the tags and deciding if the content is okay for them. i havent deleted any anons - i might respond slowly, but i do reply to all anons unless theyre completely pointless or im saving them for something like a roundup post

and youre right, its not that deep, which is why i have no issue writing angsty series like rendezvous, cause its all just me playing with barbies on my keyboard at the end of the day. my post about him being a murderer was just my thoughts and observations on the matter as someone who has written about joel "cheating", going MIA, being forgiven etc.

i know people are gonna be pissed about the last part - people would be pissed no matter how it ends, cause there's essentially three camps of readers. i think its fun to see people being engaged and having strong feelings about it, that just means i wrote something engaging and that evokes emotion like i intended

i have no issue with people being "too invested" in this story, having strong feelings about it, but when people have genuine issues with me writing joel choosing someone else, that just the idea of me writing one story like that makes them personally feel like shit, i think like its important for me to say i think its a concerning way of interacting with fanfics. im not making anyones life worse by writing the things i write lmao

not entirely sure what kinda answer you wanted here haha but those are my thoughts on what you said!

[queer-cosette]

Ooooh 15 and 17 for the fic writer asks!

These answers got... way out of hand lmao

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Okay, so most of my one-shot fics I tend to go for a song lyric that fits and more often than not it's a Rilo Kiley lyric because they honestly have a song for every angsty emotion in the world 😂although I've also used lyrics by First Aid Kit, Allison Iraheta, John Rzeznik, and Taylor Swift (they just vibe right, y'know?). I always think of that post that's like "what are you writing about?" "ah, it's just silly fanfiction -" "no, I mean, what are you writing about?" Because yeah, my blorbos are kissing and being angsty and whatever, but also...

these are times that can't be weathered (and we have never been back there since) focusses on unfamiliar feelings of helplessness and grief

The world is still sleeping, while I keep on dreaming is about not letting other people control the rate you heal at

you say i choose sadness (that it never once has chosen me) is about making an effort to be more forgiving to yourself

roses are dry, violets are black is about letting yourself move on from the painful end of an unhealthy relationship

see it fall, child of all (lend a mending hand) is about the regret of realising that someone else's effort to protect you wound up hurting them even worse

just say when (and we'll say goodnight) is about wanting to help without knowing how and acknowledging that sometimes just choosing to care and to love and to stay can be enough

the very first page (not where the storyline ends) is about taking things slow during the happy new beginning you never thought you'd want or need

let's not forget ourselves, good friend (I am flawed if I'm not free) is about the painful realisation that you were wrong, and that you've taken things way too far to ever properly make amends

For multichapter fics my naming methods tend to vary because I always want something that fits the AU and puts out the vibe for the fic. I kind of like it to sound like it could be a book title 😂

mArinette is based on the plot of the movie easy A, and in the trailer for easy A the As in the actors' names are stylised as the red A Olive begins sewing onto her clothes. "Dear Diary..." is the first line of Dear Diary..., and often the first line of the chapters. I wanted my series On Se Sent Comme Par Magie to feel like a fantasy adventure novel series, so the names of each 'instalment' reflect that. And The Mystery Solvers of Derry just felt right. I mean, they're mystery solvers, and they live in Derry. The rest of the fic is a mystery, so the title felt like it needed to be straight to the point.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

what kind of impact injury would cause blindness (direct hit to the occipital lobe at the back of the head)

when Nando's opened a location in Ireland (2008)

a lot of 1980s-accurate technology (tvs, phones, cameras etc.)

where a Parisian teenager who likes making her own clothes would probably buy fabric (Marché Saint Pierre)

American Catholics are very different to Scottish Catholics and not in a good way. I read one (1) article on an American Catholic website as research and. you know how sometimes you feel like you need something wholesome to cancel out the horrible thing you just experienced? It was like the opposite of that. I felt like I had to go and do some sinning in order to rebalance the universe.

Thank you so much for sending me this, Elise <333 This is probably way longer an answer than you expected but talking about fic make brain go brrr <3333

Send me numbers to ask questions about my fanfic!

[drabbles-mc]

Hi there bestie, just coming in hot with some nosy ass questions 👀

27, 41, 54, 73

Yes please be as nosy as you want I'll show you my whole soul 😍

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?: Oooohhhh my favorite part of writing has to be once the story starts picking up. Like, the scene is set, you know the character and the world, and then you can start diving into building the dynamics and getting real dialogue-y. THAT'S my fave part. When I can get into the banter between characters. Making some Tension and creating some Moments. I love that shit. Drown me in it. If I could write dialogue and nothing else I would be the happiest camper you've ever met. As for my least favorite part of writing: I hate coming up with an ending to things. You can tell that by the way I never want to end my multichaps lmao. But also titling and summarizing things is the bane of my existence. If I had money I would pay someone else to do it for me hahaha

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?: I wouldn't say that I'm a chronic rereader of fics. I have a few that I will go back to, even if I don't reread them super in-depth I'll peruse them and get all the feelings going again. I have a couple of my own fics that I wrote with the express purpose of being comfort fics for me so I'll go back and reread those from time to time. But more often than not I do one-night stands with my fics. 😂 However, even though I don't always reread things, my brain has a habit of constantly going back and thinking about fics that I've read. Like I will think of things weeks or months down the road and get happy about it all over again.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?: So, for better or worse I don't usually write in chronological order. Like, if I get hit with an idea or a snippet of dialogue or just a random scene, I will dive into the word doc and get it down on paper and just build the story before and after that as I need to. And, I gotta say, that is my favorite part. Getting hit with a scene that you just can't not write down is like the best feeling ever. I have about 33k of a fic written in my WIP folder all because I thought of a random angsty scene between a character and his dad so like!! Sometimes it just be like that.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?: I truly couldn't tell you. 😂 I feel like I try to lean pretty heavily into my strength which is dialogue, and I think that that bodes well for me as a writer. I also think that my fics are either very angsty, or very slice of life. I have some that fall outside those categories but most of my stories tend to fall in those categories as opposed to smutfics or darkfics and I know in certain fandoms that definitely sets me apart. Sometimes it means less traction on my fics but that's fine because I'm having a good time anyway 😂

Thank you for these I'm kissing you on the mouth 😘

[satans-codpiece]

Okay so I proved myself wrong, about me saying I'm dropping everything I'm doing to read your stuff. I found out about Eleven Years Chpt. 5 in the morning and had to go to work RIP. Needless to say I was very distracted and as soon as I got home I got ON IT-

Bit of a shame for my wireplay obsessed ass you didn't go a bit harder on that but GOd it was still hell of a ride. Reader getting handsy after the fucking and Ram not handling it well™ was.... oooooof. I'm so normal-

I guess since I got on the EY hype train, mind if I just, go nuts a little more??? I could be biased here cuz Ramram, but HOW did you actually, genuinely make me feel sad for the captor in a Stockholm syndrome scenario????? HELLO???? What wizardry did you pull to do that??????? Like yeah Ram kidnapped reader and is lowkey torturing them without fully realizing it, but he's so awfully genuine with everything else????????????

And just. Okay slightly late to the party but in chpt. 4, the conversation about Ram being afraid of touch both to not accidentally harm reader AND the reputation of his model is just....... When I read that, my reaction could only be described as going absolutely fucking feral. Bro do not EVER worry about characterization again because jeSUS CHRIST-

I actually ended up showing that set of paragraphs to a friend that isn't in this fandom much (likes a different hero a whole lot and is loosely aware of everyone else, kind of like me actually lol) aaaaand their reaction was pretty much the same as mine-

And to not ignore what you replied with my last anon ask bc lordy I'd feel bad: ... I mean.... if you wanna build up to a big piv scene.... *glosses over your WIP list* I can see Hanakaki going there pretty easily, without all the painful emotional mindfuckery that comes with kidnapping...

LMAO I feel like Blizz employees (the creative art-related team, to be more accurate) are not really allowed to interact with fandom so their ideas don't get influenced by fanon and therefore the company does not get accused of stealing ideas or whatever. BUT, here's a funny idea... since these people write fanfiction that is actually canon... Can you imagine someone writing out their dirtiest fantasies and said writing having to be actually archived at Blizz because intellectual property LOOOOOL-

soBBING THAN K YOU this was such a delight to open my inbox to!!!

hehehe for what it's worth, if I do end up writing the prequel there will be a bigger focus on wireplay (given that it's before he's made any modifications to himself) :3c

but ah I'm so glad you sympathized with Ramattra because that's exactly what I wanted!! He's done something awful- is doing something awful- but he's doing it because he loves you so much. Everything he's done, he's done because he's had a hard life and you were one of so few good things he's had. I really wanted the reader (ie the real people not the stand in character) to have... complicated feelings about this version of Ramattra.

and ;_; thank you... being OOC is truly just my nightmare of writing, I need my blorbos to be perfectly canon-aligned (or explicitly AU'd) or I'll die.

but in particular fjdshg yes! When Ramattra was actually striving for peace, he had to work against such heavy biases against him simply because of his model (both the vendor in Nepal and Nameless make comments on him being an r-7000 as soon as he meets them), so he must be acutely aware that he is treated differently than other omnics.

HAHAHA it's SO funny of all my WIPs you mention hanahaki... because 1) Hanahaki is actually like 4 paragraphs from being done and 2) there isn't a shred of nsfw in it! I wrote it just to write some angsty pre-relationship stuff, but ultimately just is emotional porn, nothing physical.

Ah that's probably to some degree true! I'd love to see someone working w Blizz just. sit on all their nsfw fics and works until they quit and be like. 'haha yeah i JUST made all these. definitely not under contract w Blizz dont worry about it :>' [piles of concept Ramattra porn fall out of their jacket]

[beeehar]

miles writing steel samurai fanfic for funsies at some point during the time span where he believed he killed greg and while he was writing it he was like 'yea this is fine just me projecting some of my feelings onto the magistrate for it to seem a little more realistic yk. Make the character feel human' and he thinks it pretty tame, not intending for it to be too angsty. But once he posts the first chapter it kinda blows up and all of the comments are like 'im sobbing someone sedate me' and he's like damn u guys r sooo dramatic get a grip lmao??? And then as he posts more chapters (and as life starts to go even more off the rails than what it was before hand) the comments morph from 'cryibg' to 'fu.ck you genuinely what was going through your mind when you decided to rip my heart out I'm losing it get therapy I'm serious u need help I think' and at that point he's like ok so what going on here. And then one night after he learns that he is not in fact a murderer (and after he left the letter and went to Germany) he reads through the comments of genuine concern. And that on top of everything else makes him realise that everything is pretty fucked up and maybe. Just maybe things can get better.

(meanwhile the steel samurai fandom is like where tf did go he hasn't updated his heart wrenching fic in a year I miss that prick who'd make fun of us for crying at any chance he got:((. and there are tons of theories abt his disappearance floating around. And yk that trend on tiktok with the song Mary on a Cross where it's like "no quote had ever affected me" and then shows a quote from like a famous poem or movie or something. Well ppl do that with random quotes from his (not tagged as slash but everyone picks up on it) magisteel slowburn fanfiction and that in itself ropes more random ppl on the internet into the lore that is miles edgeworths ao3 account. Like his fic has its own fandom at this point and ppl had all of these inside jokes about it and stuff)

uhh fastforward to a 35 yr old miles randomly remembering about that fanfic he first began writing under the covers in his cold bedroom in the Von karma manor so he logs in and find hundreds of comments asking if he's ok and stuff and he rereads the fic and is like Jesus Christ did I actually think this was normal back then. So then he finishes off the draft he had sitting in his docs for years and says something along the lines of 'damn u guys were right idk why I thought this was fine' in the notes and he posts it and is almost immediately flooded with relieved comments and everyone's like 'rejoice he's not dead' 'took you a while but we love a self aware king'. And then he goes and kisses his husband and smiles at his hoard of children and life his good all is well.

[fictionfixations]

Scarian Double-Life Soulmate Bond AU thing

hi. im not original in this. So this came from a fic called Ashes and I just. Lmao new fixation-- I don't think I've seen the concept anywhere before so let me explain.

Double Life [assumedly] ends and when they go back to Hermitcraft, they still have a soulmate bond? Like y'know the sharing pain and a health bar and etc etc.

And like either person can have forgotten or someone could still remember. Like for example, Grian could remember all the death games [or just double life but that'd be hard considering it isn't even over yet], while Scar meanwhile has no recollection of it despite the bond still existing? OR they both remember, or they both dont besides the dread-filled familiar feeling that they have it when or if they find out [to be fair scar dies a lot so-] thats just telling them 'this shouldnt be happening' even if they dont know what it means consciously but subconsciously they do?

i really like it and now i want more fics but i also can't really write hermitcraft stuff..-- [im going to be honest here, a lot of the times i mix up someone with someone else when im just watching from youtube lMAO.]

if you discover this plop in that 'inspired by' thing for the ashes fic and i dont know, send a comment here with the fic [or if you find one like this] please, i am on the hunt for this.

it also has a lot of potential for angsty stuff and thats exciting >:DDD- or even hurt/comfort w/ them both remembering? [or just one, they both dont need to know for comfort to happen]

anyway thats all i really had to say and i kinda just put aus here and stuff so yeah. and i talk about fanfiction so this fits. i think.

[daredevilexchange]

Want to be featured here? Head to this page and fill in the form!

See what this is about here, or if you’re using the app here.

What’s your fannish ID? ajay_lotte

What types of fanworks do you create? I write fanfics.  Lots of fanfics, most of which don’t see the outside of my one drive ngl.  I love fanfics because sometimes I can lose that bit of realism: in the marvel universe, basically anything goes, and in fanfiction, it’s even less limited than that.  Basically anything goes, and I love that.

What are your favourite types of fanworks, when you’re not creating? Fics, for sure.  I’ve read so many great ones, and there’s a fic for every vibe.  And also incorrect quotes and Twitter feeds.  They’re always brilliant

What do you like in particular about this fandom? Honestly, I’m just here for the double d content.  With every fic I read, I’m always changing my mind abt the best ships and tropes, but ones I always love have gotta be the Frank/Matt ones.  Wholesome af.  Maybe add Elektra to spice it up… ;) And Matt and Jessica, saltmates or romantic jackasses, either works.  I mean, they’re basically the same person with their tragic backstories Tm, their whiskey, brooding, and bullshit. There’s also that deaged trope which I gotta admit to liking, any chance for ppl to see an angsty child soldier Matt Murdock is a win, especially when they try to make him all happy too.

Do you like participating in fan events? Never done it before!  I’d really like too, though.  They always look great :D

What about your creating process? Lmao, “process”.  I’d love to call it that.  Usually there are just too many thoughts and head canons and my brain’s just a nonsensical place.  So… chaotic fanfics!  I’ve been trying to write longer fics for a while, but they always get interrupted with new ideas, so I write them instead!  It’s always wild to see where they go

Do you interact a lot with other fans? Bro, it took ages to actually register an ao3 acc but I’ve been working on it.  Becoming more interactive is definitely a thing that should happen

Do you have other fandoms you'd like to talk about? No, but yes.  Important question!! Teenage mutant ninja turtles, right?  Same chemicals as Daredevil.  Edgy sewer lords.  It’s a whole thing.  Netflix MCU and main MCU are basically kinda the same universe, earth-19999 or whatever.  So that’s fine.  The turtles are also featured in the main marvel into thing.   That’s 19999 enough. So when Peter Quill brings up the TMNT in guardians of the galaxy, is he referencing a fictional kids TV show, or does he have some inside knowledge on the super secret sewer ninjas?!?!?!  I’m pretty sure they’re referenced in something else too.  Can’t remember… anyways, but like are the turtles real or not in the MCU?  What’s going on Kevin?   Why are you like this :o ???  HeLp

Is there any particular piece you'd like to showcase for this post? Yes!  The Yellow Car Initiative, featuring a version of Matt who is actually kinda happy in this series of attempted humour.  I’d like to showcase it just cuz it’s actually a finished series… even if I’m a write more stuff for it, maybe.  Probably.  Ugh.

Is there anything else you want to tell us about yourself? I’m actually chill, I swear Also I unintentionally talk like Clint.  I’m pretty sure I’m one “bro” away from an intervention.  It doesn’t help I know so many Kates honestly.  Or should I say… Katy-Kates :)

Where can your fanworks be found? My works can be found on ao3!  Here’s a link to my acc :p https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajay_lotte/pseuds/ajay_lotte

Thank you, @ajay-lotte !

banner by @context-is-for-kingpins !

[ID on a white background, four black triangles that look like spotlights from above. Each illuminates one of the Defenders silhouetted in white: Jessica, Luke, Danny, Matt. A hand on the left is holding a pen writing the words Content Creator Spotlight. There is a little Punisher skull on the pen. End ID]

[ropebunnykant]

fanfiction writer appreciation: skamverse edition

i was tagged by both @sandersyasmina and @yasminaselamrani to do this wonderful tag game! we already know i'm always down to spread all the love to our amazing creators, so let's do this!

if you’re a writer...

a fic that you’re really proud of: it's not posted yet, but i am super proud and excited about what i have written for my eyewitness au. i think it's gonna be really good, whether you've seen the show or not :)

a fic that you were nervous to post: okay, so i do only have one skamverse fic posted so far, and that's drunk on you and i was CRAZY nervous to post it because i hadn't written or posted fanfiction in nearly three years. not to mention i was also super nervous about getting their characterization right

a fic you wished got more hits/kudos/comments: i'm really not someone that cares a whole lot about how many people see or like my work, and while not many people commented or gave kudos on the fic i did post, it doesn't really matter to me. the intended audience liked it, as well as a few others, and that's all that matters :)

one of your favorite tropes to write: i think the trope i've written the most, fanfiction-wise, is fluff, but i'm also angsty bitch, so i'd probably say that's my favorite to write.

another ship that you don’t write but you’d like to write: oooh so many!! i would love to write youmina, but outside of wtfock, i'd also love to write spiderwitz, kieutou, mayla, or crisana. i just haven't had any ideas for them.

one of your abandoned wip you never wrote but wish you did: there is one fic that i might end up writing, it's a 5+1 one-shot about robbe having to be a comforting presence for others (would likely end up being him calming down his mom five times+how it helped him help sander), but currently i'm not focused on that because i do wanna get the eyewitness au done before summer ends lmao

another writer you would love to collaborate with: antania (@sandersyasmina) is really the only one i'd subject that to lmao. like she said, writing together takes a certain level of comfort and chemistry, and given how slow i am with writing my own fics, i wouldn't really put that on someone else lmao.

if you're a reader...

a fic (or more) that you love to reread: okay, so tbh, i'm really not someone that rereads fics a lot, like i've read most of the ones in the wtfock tag on ao3, but i rarely go back and reread shfsdhf BUT, that just goes to show how good this rough magic by @aholynight is because i HAVE reread it, and i plan to do so again when the holidays role around, it's the perfect holiday fic, truly

tag an author you always love reading: anything that brenna (@yasminaselamrani) puts out is just AMAZING, she has truly never missed with her writing, and i'm always excited to see what she has to share

recommend a story to your followers: pretty sure everyone and their mom has recommend 'tween the sheets of summer by miss @tsjernobyl, but it's for good reason and if you haven't read it??? literally what are you doing??? it's so good?? i also HIGHLY recommend cat's (@honeyandsinn) childhood best friends to lovers au time may change me, but i can't trace time because it's literally my dream fic, it's perfect in every way, and if you catch up now you can finish it when she throws up the last chapter because it's almost over and i'm not ready. ALSO if you haven't read the first chapter of the curse of betrayal by @sincerelyyousmina (aka brenna) then you are behind, brenna worked so hard on it and it deserves all the love and support

tag an author you discovered recently: unless it's posted on tumblr or it's by one of my mutuals, i really don't pay attention to the author all that much. that being said, i recently realized that sas (@genjasafin) is a writer and it absolutely blew my mind, she's so good too!!

spread the love!

tag someone who inspires you to write: antania (@sandersyasmina) 100%, she's always encouraging and it helps me find the motivation.

tag someone who you’ve admired forever: well, to name a few... brenna (@yasminaselamrani), cat (@honeyandsinn), tasfia (@sonderthroughthestreets), ellie (@earthlingeliott), caro (@luxandobscurus), and esther (@itubainaretro). and bianca but she doesn't write for the skamverse anymore!

tag your writing support and loves!: antania's (@sandersyasmina) the only person that i've really talked to about my writing, but just know if you've commented on the fic that's up or told me how excited you are for my eyewitness au, i love and appreciate you sm!!

tagging: everyone mentioned already, and also anyone that just wants to do it!!

[irrealisms]

thoughts on (pick what u like) wilbur dsmp, angsty fanfic tropes, romance novels

wilbur dsmp...... my precious little meow meow........ pspspspspsps cc!wilbur soot you wanna go live and do lore SOOOOO bad

seriously though i'm a sucker for tragic heroes and s1 wilbur? yeah. people try to paint early s1 wilbur as the same person he is now (possibly including current wilbur. lmao) but i just.... i don't buy it? and some of this is doylist, right, during the first l'manburg war i doubt wilbur had already planned out the direction his character arc was going to go, he was just playing a revolution leader in minecraft and quoting hamilton. & that informs his acting for moments like when he decides to surrender to dream or when he's telling tommy not to put himself in danger & to follow his heart! i genuinely don't think he was being manipulative for the sake of power there! or when he says he never cared about l'manburg, i don't... believe that. lmao. he cried for l'manburg! he killed himself over losing l'manburg! this is a server full of unreliable narrators & wilbur is NOT an exception lmao

and his confrontation with phil in the button room is like..... my absolute shit. and the fact that before his breakdown he had been sending phil letters regularly informing him that Everything's Fine!!!!!! ugh. wow.

and revivebur!!!!! revivebur who has NO coping skills and flies from emotion to emotion because everything exists so much constantly and it's such a rush and he's putting charisma on over it but he's just on a ridiculous emotional roller coaster constantly. i think a lot about how the two times we heard from him when he was dead (talking to tommy at the end of the s2 finale, talking to tommy in the afterlife) he was in favor of death and being dead & felt that it was for the best whereas now that he's back he's all :DDDDD THIS IS GREAT AND EXCELLENT

(and. something something-- him being bad for the server means that the only way he can be happy is for him to embrace his role as the Villain. he tried doing the right thing by killing himself and replacing himself with a Nice Person once, and look where it got them!)

((AND. something about how niceness=weakness in his mind. when he first founded l'manberg they didn't fight with weapons! where did that get them? dead. all ghostbur wanted was to make everyone happy! where did that get him? lied to constantly, his home destroyed, suicidal as well, and then... dead again. he says dream's the only one who gets it, and i'd argue that 'it' here means 'the importance of throwing away everything you have in a desperate grab for power because otherwise they will take it all from you'. can't be hurt by others if you've already hurt yourself, and maybe, maybe, maybe, if you're evil and cruel and heartless, you'll eventually get enough power that you'll be able to feel safe again. bc wilbur can say that he doesn't care, that he never cared, but honestly i don't think that was ever really an option for him like it was for dream. he cares so much about everything all the time. it's just a question of whether he'll get power quickly enough to protect the things he cares about or whether he'll destroy them himself because it's better than letting someone else have the power to do that))

and! his black and white thinking!!!! honestly i think the only person on the server with as intense of black-and-white thinking as wilbur is tommy, and.... to some degree tommy's working on that and realizing that people can be and do both good and bad things? but. while tommy was working on that, wilbur was in hell. for decades. and so he has done the opposite of improving on this point, and it....shows. people are either heroes or they're villains and they can swap in his eyes so quickly. including himself. especially himself. boy does NOT have any mental stability

and i do think he manipulates tommy a lot and his relationship with tommy is not healthy at all tbc! but imo-- it's very clearly from a place of fear and vulnerability and not wanting anything else to be taken from him? it's very Frantic Attempts To Avoid Real Or Imagined Abandonment. cf the double parenthetical earlier abt his attitude towards power. also i like crimeboys, so sue me

idk i like wilbur "frantically plastering charisma over his blatant crazy" dreamsmp quite a lot. i'd also like to thank him for being a terrible father and for having so very much constant sexual tension with quackity dsmp and for the white hair streak. very sexy of him if i do say so myself

this specified wilbur dsmp so you are not getting my thoughts on ghostbur (light of my LIFE) or cc!wilbur (terrible boy (affectionate)) but rest assured. i love them too.

wow this got long. uuuuh. angsty fanfic tropes: in favor. sickfic? delicious. mental illness? good stuff. grief? fuck yes. injuries? yeaaaaah boi. i don't like it when they're poorly characterized or shoehorned in but that also applies to non-angsty tropes.

i don't really read romance novels honestly? the closest i come is that i read mxtx novels and fanfiction and i used to read a lot of YA. which, okay, yes, is kind of like saying "i don't read romance novels except for all the romance novels i read", but in terms of central examples of the genre, i genuinely don't? i find them boring at best and painful to read at worst, and the adjacent things i read more of i usually read for aspects other than the romance. idk man i'm just not that interested in romance for the sake of romance

[stitch1830]

For the fic writer ask game. 1, 5, 23 please.

Hello! Thanks for the ask, I’m in desperate need of things to do to fill my time lmao. These help tremendously! :) Also sorry if this is super long and obnoxious lol.

......

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

Oh, I think I read a few fics for like, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and Hunger Games back in like, 2012. But none were ever amazing enough for me to create a profile for accounts and stuff like that. I started seriously reading fanfiction during the pandemic (March 2020?), and that was with ATLA! And it was mostly to get more stories/information on things that happened in between ATLA and LOK, because that intrigued me the most... Such a large gap of time that kind of goes untouched, and of course, after rewatching ATLA, I wanted to read more about the characters. 

Reading ATLA fanfiction made me want to start writing down some of the ideas I had, so back in September or during the holiday season, I wrote down dialogue between ATLA characters and Original Characters, and that got me used to writing creatively. Then, I found Taang around November/December, fell in love with the pair, and started writing One Shots for them. It was weird tho, because the first work I was writing had canon pairs plus Tokka, so then to jump and write about Taang when I had an “interesting story” already in the works... bit of a dissonance at first. But then I expanded and grew the Taang universe a ton and it made it worth it. To start, I wrote like 7 or 8 of the Taang One Shots, then started posting them back in January, and the rest is history. Sort of lmao. 

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Oh yeah I have lots. Biggest ones are like reading a fic and then in the story there’s something that is like, completely improbable or weird, I tend to turn away quickly. One that still sticks out to me to this day is back when I read PJO fanfiction, they had the characters (aged at like 16) get married and have a baby all within the span of a paragraph and a day in the story. Like??? Okay, glad you’re writing, but I hopped off that real quick lmao.

Because of my English classes, I really dislike the word “you” or second person in any form of writing. Obviously it’s different in dialogue or thought bubbles, but if the narrator is like “you just don’t see that...” it bothers me. Doesn’t stop me from reading completely, but I know there are other ways to phrase sentences so that the word “you” can be avoided. If that’s the theme/cadence of the story, then by all means, the word “you” should be used. But idk. My English teachers corrupted me lmao. Also first person. I’m not a fan of first person works anymore; they’re hard to write well, so unless I’m hooked from the beginning, I turn elsewhere.

Anachronisms. So like, when things are referenced in a story that you as a reader know are not technically in that universe, I sometimes notice it, but I don’t really leave the fic. It happens all the time and it really goes over just about everyone’s head, but if I catch it, I’ll internally complain. And they may not even be inaccurate in the story, but if I think it doesn’t belong in the universe, then I'll consider it an anachronism, which is more on me than the writer lmao. An example of this would be like, to me, heaven and hell wouldn’t exist in ATLA, so mentions of God or the curse word Hell have no meaning. idk. That, or if I think something didn’t exist yet in ATLA, I’ll personally try to avoid it in my own writing; and specific terms that wouldn’t be in the setting of the story (I.e. Braille. I would just try to say ‘indented text’ or something. Don't think Louie was in the same universe as ATLA lol). Like I said, this is a me problem, not the writer.

If things get really bad grammatically, I’ll leave. I’m already picky with the stories I want to read, and despite the happiness I feel for kids, young adults, and adults writing their stories out for everyone to see, I just personally can’t stay lmao. I can’t stand the word “you” in essays, not sure why I’d stay if everything else is abominable lol. Poorly written fics bother me a ton, I tend to stop reading relatively quickly if I see a bad one.

If people write dialogue that sounds weird or doesn’t fit the character, it’s a rather big turn off for me. I’m not saying I know exactly how the characters talk or react, but there’s a balance and I pay attention a ton to the dialogue of a story. I pay attention to that more than anything else because that is how we see the interaction characters have with each other, and the words used, the tempo of the conversation, and the purpose of the conversation tells us a lot about them. An example is that people can over exaggerate Toph and Sokka’s humor and banter to the point where it sounds ridiculous and annoying. Those two are ridiculous and lighthearted, but what they say also matters in the story. Again, I’m not an expert on characterization and dialogue, but that’s my favorite part of the story, so if I don’t vibe with it or it doesn’t fit into my POV of the character, I’ll leave. No harm no foul in trying to read it, though.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

I kind of talked more specifically about tropes in my writing here,  but I would say that the tone of my fics are typically fluffy! I’m a sucker for soft Taang moments, but also, I love angst fics and I would love to be good with those. I think right now, the angst I would want to write wouldn’t fit in my current work, so I'd find time to go and write some angsty things.

......

Ask me questions about writing and fics! 

[silent-scythe]

True Winter

Hi y’all! Technically, I should be doing world history homework, but I’m not. No, I wrote angsty Cassian fanfiction. 

This is crossposted onto AO3. I also started writing this during class and it’s not really edited, so my apologies for all the tense changes and any grammatical or spelling errors. 

Anyways, I really hope y’all like it. This takes place when Cassian is little and dumped at Windhaven- he was like 5 for something? Idk, but I just wanted to write a short little something about it lmao. 

Warnings: very mild cursing 

༺༻

When people think of snow, they often think of wonderland. They imagine the tall, powerful pine trees with snow piled on top, little flecks of dark green representing the branches that peeked through. They imagine the icicles that dangle from the roofs of bungalows and townhouses. They imagine powdery snowflakes and snowball fights. They imagine a world turned to bliss, playful by day and serene at night. They imagine the coziness of winter, snuggled in their warm homes with warm drinks and warm clothes and warm hearts. 

But what happens when they don’t get that privilege? When they instead, have to live outside, cold, shuddering at the freezing temperatures, fingers frozen, stomachs twisting in hunger?

There is a little boy. 

He’s not a little boy now. No, he is a courageous, compassionate and loving male with a family and friends. But before that, he was just a bastard-born boy with hopes shattered like ice in the frigid grasp of death. 

And he tells the story of true winter. 

༺༻

Winter comes again, but it’s different.

It is harsh, the snow. 

Cassian doesn’t like it. Hates it, even. Past winters had been spent with his mother, in front of a crackling fire pit, not alone in a camp full of people who hate him. He flinches at that thought, remembering all too clearly the last insult hurled at his face. 

He hasn’t experienced an Illyrian winter yet, at least not one by himself, alone, tossed outside like a rag, left to become dust in the wind. 

He trudges through the snow that has already reached his calves, his worn leather boots near tattered. He can feel the cold seep through the fabric, settling deep into his bones. 

I need a new pair of shoes, he realizes. And food, water, maybe a blanket or warmer clothes. 

He is but a boy right now, short and somewhat clumsy, although still more lithe than the average Illyrian, having spent his entire life fighting to live. His hazel eyes are round, with the type of innocence that seems both naive and old beyond his years. His hair is wild, tangled, and already down to his shoulders- he can’t remember the last time he got a haircut. 

He doesn’t want to. Haircuts remind him of a different time. A time with warmth and cozy beds and delicious food and love. A time with his mother. 

Cassian banishes the thought away, instead focusing on his task. Food, shoes, and something warm. 

He shakes his wings, the light snow that dusted them falling off with the action. He clenches his small hands into fists, trying to keep warm, since he doesn’t have any gloves, either. 

Cassian walks into the main parts of Windhaven, and the bloodied, crimson and gold sun rises. 

A new day starts. 

༺༻

Night is falling by the time he reaches his tent, which is on the outskirts of the camp, close to the forest. Cassian had heard tales before, tales of the creatures who prowled and hunted at night. He shudders at the thought. 

He calls his home a tent, but it really isn’t. It is made with fabric- the material that the tents were made from- that he took from someone after beating them in a fight. He had found a tall pine tree to mark his home. Then, he had dragged bricks, mud, and rocks from around camp to his makeshift house, building a single wall besides the tree, then he had draped the tent-fabric diagonally from it, securing it to the ground with nails that he found. It is lopsided, falling apart, and beyond dirty, but it will have to make do, at least for now. 

It is small and Cassian doesn’t mind, for he doesn’t have much with him. He is a bastard after all, thrown here into the mud with nothing, the tears on his face not yet dried. He has a small storage of food in one corner that he saves for the worst blizzards, the one he hears about from the adult Illyrians, the ones he knows are coming soon, and a change of clothes in the other corner. A bed is in the center, although it really isn’t a bed- just furs that lined the cold, hard ground, giving him something to help keep him warm during the dead of night. 

Cassian sighs and wonders if he will ever be able to sleep in a real bed one day. “It’s unfair,” he yells into his shabby home. “It’s unfair that I’m just a little boy, yet I have to go through all of this shit!” 

He is answered only by the howling winds.

Shit is a new word he learned a few days ago. Cassian doesn’t know if he used it correctly, but he doesn’t care. 

In his left hand is a big piece of fur. He thinks it's fur from the deer that reside nearby, although he doesn’t know. He is lucky to get his hands on it- a female Illyrian had given it to him, her face softened in sorrow. In Cassian’s right hand is a makeshift bag, which is really a square cloth that he uses to hold the food he manages to get everyday. Today, he has a decently-sized piece of jerky and something that probably used to be bread. 

“It’s food,” he says firmly, to himself. “I don’t care what it looks like, it’s food.” 

He adds the fur to his bed and sits atop it. He puts the bread to one side and breaks the jerky, taking a smaller piece and putting the rest in his little pile of stocked-up food, saving it for later. Just in case. 

There is a bowl next to him, with water inside that he collects every morning from dew-ridden moss and any clean puddles he can find, and if he has time, he goes to the pond to collect fresh water there. He takes a gulp of it and starts eating. 

Cassian finishes the food far faster than he wants to. His stomach is still making knots, still unfilled, but he pretends not to notice. 

Instead, he shuffles to the side, towards the short wall he made a year ago, the wall of bricks and stone that would probably fall if you kicked it too hard. He finds the little nook in between two rocks, and he pulls out a small black box. 

In the box is a golden necklace with a ruby attached to it. It is probably the only clean thing he has in his possession. He dares not touch the jewel, for fear he might dirty it. 

Cassian holds it close to his chest. 

“Hi mom,” he whispers. 

“I miss you. The other boys will laugh at me if they knew I talked to a necklace, but you’re the only friend I have. It’s cold here, and I’m starving,” he complains. 

“I wish you would find me already. I know they held you back and they took me here, and I know it’s already been a year, but I believe in you. I know you’ll find me, and you’ll give me a warm hug and a kiss. 

“Please find me, please. I miss you so much, mama. I hope you miss me too. They don’t like me here. The boys spit on me and bully me, but I have to endure it, since I need to survive. Endure is a new word I learned today. Devlon told me to endure. Well actually, he told me to endure or else I would get killed.”

Cassian’s eyes are teary. 

“I miss you, mama. I love you.”

Then Cassian closes the box and he goes to sleep.

༺༻

Two weeks pass, and the brutality of true winter sets in. It’s worse than what Cassian imagined.

There are less and less boys he can fight with and take food from. His stockpile of food is down to nearly nothing, and the latest blizzard made it near impossible for him to get out of his tent, which has surprisingly managed to stay up despite the heavy snow. 

Cassian is shivering, and he hasn’t eaten in days, not willing to waste his food.

He doesn’t know if he can make it through winter, especially considering it has only just started. He tries to remember a face. He tries so hard to conjure a face with fiery hazel eyes, long, wavy black hair, and soft lips, but his mother’s face becomes blurrier every day. 

The boy is losing hope. 

༺༻

More days pass, and the boy grows thinner, eyes duller.

The boy lost any semblance of hope. 

He no longer talks to the box. 

༺༻

Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your comments and opinions, they make my day. Also, if you want to be tagged when I write more fanfiction (about Nesta, Cassian, or Nessian), comment in the notes :0 

- Scythe 

[movedtovervainbrokemyheart]

*sends meme* all the munday style & preferences questions you weren’t asked

@oflightndarkness

What types of threads are your most favourite?

I don’t really have a preference on thread type. I would say that I do like some balance in my threads. So if it’s going to start out angsty, I would like a little fluff to end up along the way, or for things to not end completely abysmal. The only thing I really care about is that the person I am writing with is putting in the same amount of effort as I am. I don’t like feeling like I’m more into something than someone else is. I don’t mean reply speed either because I am a literal snail. I mean when you can just tell they aren’t into it with you. But they are with other people. At that point, I would rather just drop it and do something else or just move on.

What types of threads are your least favourite?

I mean I don’t do them on tumblr. But, probably pure smut? I have a love/hate relationship with smut. I don’t mind it and I do not begrudge others writing it. But, I am very much a person who needs to know someone for a bit before I can write it. If I write it at all and tumblr to me is just a very judgmental place and I don’t want to be judged for how well I describe sexual activities.

What kinds of threads do you think you are best at writing?

Angst unfortunately. @magickisafoot and I often curse each other for the things that we’ve written over the years. Sometimes, it’s a contest on di.scord to see who can upset the other person more with angst. We never speak of Melinda.

What is your favourite thing about your muse? Why did you pick them up, what do you want to explore?

I mean this varies from character to character. I would say that the reason I pick up any muse is because I see something that I can relate to. Some of them are just out there and I have little in common with. But, most of them have a trait or a value that I can identify with. Exploration wise, I would say that with my muses who have a lot of trauma, I want to explore that, instead of ignoring it.

What is your least favourite thing about your muse? What makes them difficult to write, or interact with?

I’d say the thing I like least about any of my muses is that they are very temperamental. They do not want to reply to everyone at all times. Sometimes, they will only reply to certain threads and things. It does make them more difficult to interact with because if you can’t get a reply? How are you supposed to cultivate a relationship of any kind.

Is there a correlation between the muses you like to pick up? Something in particular that draws you to a character and makes you want to write them?

With say Steve, he’s a muse i’ve had on and off for years, and I had picked him up because I identified a lot with him, his motivations, etc. But then there’s Tony who I am probably more in line with personality wise. I don’t really think I have a type so much. I don’t like people who are outright evil. I don’t mean the ‘born’ evil garbage. I mean like people who have no remorse for anything they have ever done types.

Do you project onto your muses at all, giving them similar issues or traits to your own? What is your opinion on people who do this?

I really hate when people have an opinion of a character ooc and it bleeds into their muse. Like people who legitimately hate a canon and then all their characters just hate that person whether it’s in character or not. I usually give my OC’s more of my own traits than canons. I try not to make them too out there.

What is the strangest muse you have ever picked up to write, or the most difficult?

Uhh...I mean for a laugh one time I wrote Spon.gebob. Does that count? lmao. Don’t judge me it was a weird time. Most difficult...probably Alaric Saltzman, maybe? I just don’t always vibe with his ideas. Probably why i don’t really have any threads yet on this blog.

Do you write fanfiction and/or drabbles outside of tumblr?

Fanfiction sometimes. Not as much as I did. Drabbles not really. I mean this is outside of tumblr. 

Do you prefer public or private roleplay? Does this preference change when writing NSFW and smut?

Don’t really care either way. I do usually like di.scord writing sometimes a little more because when my hands hurt, I can continue the thread, because my phone doesn’t hurt the way the keyboard on my pc does. I can also write in bed etc. I only write NSFW on dis.cord so I guess so.

Does your descriptive writing change with each muse, do they influence the way that you narrate and use language?

I think my writing style is unchanged no matter who I write. But, I do think some muses have a more specific way of speaking. Scott Lang wouldn’t say something the way Steve Rogers would or Tony Stark etc.

Does your OOC change with each muse, do they influence the way you generally behave?

No. I’m trash ooc no matter what lmao. I mean that. It’s why I’ve elected to not have opinions on things anymore outside of maybe memes.

What is your opinion on formatting, editing and icons within the community? How do you style your own, do they differ from muse to muse?

I use premade icons from various places aside from Danny and Rafe’s icons. Adam Conant’s are also mine. But, I just think people spend too much time on it and I don’t care about how much you edit your stuff. Like, some people’s icons are flat out too small. But that’s because of my vision and if I can’t see who it is in the icon is there a reason to having one? I just use small text and sometimes bold/italic for emphasis. But I don’t do anything else and I don’t want to.

Is there something petty or minor that would cause you not to follow a person?

I mean, what is truly ‘petty’ or ‘minor’? I mean I guess I don’t like to follow people who won’t write with oc’s whatsoever. Stipulations are fine. But, I try to actively avoid people who write ‘i dont write with oc’s’ in their rules or posts. Just kind of gross and as someone who has a main blog full of them? Not here for it.

Does fandom intimidate you, or make you critical of your portrayal? Do you have any irrational doubts in what you are doing?

No. I don’t give a crap what the fandom thinks. I also don’t care what other people think. I only get mad when they try to force me into follow their thinking. I’m not going to.

Are you confident in sending memes, liking for starters, etc.? Is there anything you’d like your followers to know about your anxiety?

I mean, I guess so? If we’re mutuals then I usually am. But, I do make meme calls from time to time so that I can wager who actually wants them. Liking for starters I just don’t bother with anymore. Half the time people don’t write them.

What draws you to roleplaying as a hobby? What do you find fun?

I mostly started roleplaying 15 years ago because I have a hard time focusing when it comes to writing novels and things like that. But, i wanted to explore my writing all the same. It seemed better than writing fanfiction and in most ways I was right.

What kind of writing partners do you tend to merge well with? Do you like people who communicate, or more impulsive personalities?

I hate people who don’t communicate. I’m not talking about people who block you and give you no reason. I literally don’t care if you block me. Do what you have to for your mental health. But, people who are just like ‘well toss me a plot’ and then say nothing else. Like what? How am I meant to do anything based on that?

Has this hobby changed your life at all? Your mood, your outlook, or your friendship group?

I’ve met some of the best and worst people roleplaying. So i guess so. I’m actually only alive because of people I met through roleplaying and we’re not going to unpack that.