#angst is my driving force in art ;0;

[broken-grace112]

We were robbed of the angst of Jaskier struggling with burn scars on his hands ;0; I wanted to try some stained glass effects on this and very pleased how it came out even if the process murdered my hand! ^^ What fun details can you find in the background? 👁️💙 (This was inspired by a photo from the Dracula Ballet!)

[sensitiveheartless]

You always draw the most beautiful Chuuya’s ever 🥺 even when he’s bug eyed with shock 😂 I too would love to see more comics of this au with all the resolutions! That page of Chuuya’s flashbacks broke my heart 💔 I would like to see them talk about that 💔😭🙏🏼

(Aaaah thank you!! Learning to draw Chuuya better has been a substantial driving force for me attempting to improve my art, so that’s great to hear :D)

And yessss the flashbacks and past stuff will definitely be discussed more!! This comic series has gotten very out of hand alskjdfj it really was initially just going to be a snapshot of skk being stupid together — but now that I’ve introduced the angst, it feels weird to leave it unresolved, so rest assured I have plans! :0

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

also I neeeeeeed to know your thoughts on Virche Evermore so far!!! I’ve been debating getting it, but I def trust my mutuals’ opinions more than game reviewers lol

aww im honoured! 🥹 hope i can help you out! i meant to reply to this sooner but i couldn't 🥲 but that's good because I have now completed my first route meaning that I can give you a better answer! so. the game really is as good as you've probably heard it is. Now, when you say you've been debating getting it, I don't know if you were held back by the same things as me but just in case you too are worrying about this: while tragedy IS the domineering trope of Virche, you'll find yourself enjoying every other aspect of what you'd expect to see in an otome game just as much! The romance is romancing. The comedy is there. Nothing suggestive is happening yet you're thirsting over your fave just as much. Get this, I'm not good with extreme angst! The beginning of the prologue had me worrying about that, but in the next moment I was laughing at a funny moment so yeah those definitely exist and they will only make you bond with the characters further. that's part of why the writing is so good. god. the writing. I can't praise it enough honestly. The worldbuilding is complex and interesting to find out more and more about as the story progresses, it has its own brand of angst that would only exist within that universe so you're guaranteed to be taken aback by it. You know it's good if you're not just crying but also blinking in realization of what just happened. If you're like me and play mainly for the characters and your driving force is your fave, I'll tell you that my fave-radar is almost impeccable as often one look is enough for me to know which route i'm doing first, and the prologue only solidifies my choice. And here? I didn't see him coming. It went from 0 to 100 so fast that by the second chapter of his route I was unable to stop thinking about him. And again, what makes a character appealing here has a lot to do with the plot. The LIs are unique and fleshed out and I was ready with my choice for a second route right away after completing my first. What else? The bgm? Amazing. The art? I was looking at one cg of my second fave for a full minute yesterday. SOOOooo Yeah Andy I think I can vouch for the quality of Virche, the rumors are true LMAO ive no idea if you've read any reviews or anything, but i'd say, give it a try! I hope I didn't overhype it or anything, I just seriously haven't found a single flaw so far. But be warned, even if there are funny moments or cool worldbuilding introductions or these instances of subtle sexiness that are imo better than the typical fanservise, there is lots of dark and disturbing stuff too! Especially later on in the game, from what I've heard! So anyway, I hope this helps! If you end up getting it, you're always welcome to come tell me what you think and ramble about it 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️❤❤ LOVE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY

[sebs-anxiety-and-insanity]

S'been a long day / thvi not angst

(From my wattpad first)

It's been a long, dragging on day; waking up at the buttcrack of dawn to drive into the city and work his ass off as an art gallery assistant to the guy who stole the job just because he slept with the woman who was in charge of the whole thing, and be force to converse with all these snot nosed rich children (that's how these people acted anyway) who'd pay 1 mil for a canvas with different colored scribbles on it. But, hey, getting coffee at the first break in sight couldnt go wrong- oh wait. It did. Another customer who wasn't paying attention ran right into Virgil, spilling his stupid decaf- WHO THE FUCK GETS DECAF- coffee all over Virgil's white button up. Did I mention he had to wear a stupid button up with a tie and dress pants? Well, he did, damn dress codes. All in all this day sucked. It could die in a hole for all he cared. He just wanted to go home.

Finally the day came to the end of work as he was free to go home, the sun setting, causing Virgil to suddenly wish he had take the suit jacket that completed the outfit he wore. And when he pulled up to his house he let out a relieved sigh, before mustering together whatever strength he had to get out and go inside, immediately going to the bedroom that he shared with his boyfriend. (He didn't know where he was but he's to tired to be paranoid) Virgil tore off his pants and peeled off the still slightly damp button up and retrieved a unidentified shirt as he hasn't bothered with the lights when he came in. He slid the shirt on, the loose covering being more than cool on his skin, he grabbed the loose pants he had discarded this morning and pulled them back on climbing into the warm inviting bed, pulling the covers over his shoulder as he closed his eyes, happy to be home.

The door creaked as it opened slightly more than he had left it, and a moment later he felt the bed dip as a cold draft hit his legs when the blanket was lifted to allow his boyfriend entrance. He felt the familiar warmth of his boyfriend as arms wrapped around his waist, Virgil unable to stop himself from melting from the comfort that the hug had brought. A kiss was placed to the back of his neck, earning a tired hum from Virgil. He felt Thomas' cheek on his own as Thomas settled beside him. "You okay?" Virgil couldn't help but sigh at the question. No, no he wasn't, he wanted to curl into a ball and die, but unfortunately that wasn't an option. "S'been a Long day.." Came the tired reply, followed by a yawn. Thomas pulled Virgil back against his chest and nuzzled into his neck. "M'sorry baby.." Virgil smiled as the warmth of Thomas's breath hit his neck. "S'ok... Just wanna... *yawn* sleep, like this with my boyfriend." With each word he began to slur, exhaustion taking over. "Mm. Your wish is my command." Virgil was way to tired to make a quip about what he had said, and sleep overtook him, the warmth and safety of it all making it basically impossible for him to stay awake.

Thomas could tell that the other male had been through hell; that's why Virgil was awoken by the smell of his favorite breakfast and favorite tv show waiting on Netflix and everything set to Practically live on the couch for a day. they spent the day cuddling and watching Netflix and YouTube, and even fell asleep on the couch, their necks would tear them a new one later, but this, this was just perfect. Thomas made it worth the day of hell. Cause he'd go through a thousand days of hell if it meant Thomas was waiting at the end of them for him.

Virgil didn't think he could love Thomas more than he did, but he was always proved wrong time and time again... Not that he minded.

_________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed 💜

Not proof read-

Tag list{you can ask to be added or removed}

@reiney-weather @hedgiehoggles @helloidkwhatimdoing-0 @autumnpleaves @emo-sunshine42 @skyhimbolink @from-the-gall0ws

[winchester-fantasies]

Backtrack - Borrowed Time: Chapter 1

Backtrack Masterlist

Series Summary: What if you were the one Dean came to instead of Lisa? Rewrite of “Swan Song” and some of S6.

Word Count: 1310

Warnings: angst, some swearing

Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader

A/N: I know this a really short chapter, but think of it as a kind of prologue to Part Two! Hope you enjoy. ❤❤ Chapter 1′s song: My Body by Eliza Shaddad.

Winchester Fantasies’ Masterlist

“‘Night, Mandy!” you called to your coworker as she walked down the sidewalk. She turned around, raising her hand in a quick wave, continuing to walk backwards before turning forwards once again. 

You turned your key in the lock before shaking the door gently. Satisfied that it was properly locked, you threw your keys into your backpack before hoisting it over your shoulder and heading towards home. 

The night was quiet, the only sounds being those of dogs barking in the distance, an occasional car driving past, or a plane passing overhead. It was warm, too, humidity enveloping you as sweat trickled down your back and fireflies danced in the waning light. It was a perfect summer night, you thought. Much like a certain moonlit night filled with passion on a clifftop overlooking the sea. But that had been ten years ago. 

You sighed heavily as you tried to get your mind off the past as it so easily tended to do. You were twenty-nine now. You weren’t supposed to be thinking about the boy who had captured your heart and left it broken. But it was impossible. Dean was etched into your mind like a tattoo. 

You rounded the corner, turning down the sidewalk that led you to your apartment. You walked up the stone steps leading to your front door, unlocking it and stepping into the darkness of your home. You flipped on the light, hanging your keys on the hooks by the door.

You walked to the dining room, depositing your backpack on the table before heading to the kitchen. Taking out the moscato from the fridge, you poured yourself a glass of the red liquid. You were feeling a little nostalgic and that brought all the memories of the past that you had so desperately tried to run from.

After Dean had left, you’d waited around for years until you finally accepted he wasn’t coming back. But living in the same town where you’d experienced so many firsts with him was like a slap in the face. You could barely walk out of your house without being reminded of him. 

So two days after your twenty-second birthday you packed a bag, left your house at three in the morning, and never looked back. You traveled from state to state, searching for a place you could settle down and try to piece your heart back together. But no place really felt like home - not if Dean wasn’t there.

It wasn’t until you reached Crested Butte, Colorado that you finally found a place you could settle down; a place that called to your battered heart. You got yourself a small apartment, applied for several different jobs, and finally landed one at a local art gallery. You hadn’t realized you had a passion for art until you started working there and began to dabble a little in painting.

You hadn’t really made a name for yourself. You never went to college like Leah. You’d remained a nomad, and you hated the looks your parents always sent your way. They never said anything, but you could tell they were disappointed in how you’d turned out. You weren’t Leah.

Leah had finished college and was now a big time attorney. She had married an Ivy League dude right out of college and had two kids. Now Brad was running for state representative and they had another kid on the way. Leah had always been the golden child, and she still was.

As much as you wanted to please your parents and make them proud, the need to be your own person was much stronger. That’s one of the reasons you hadn’t gone home in nearly seven years. You couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in their eyes and the lecture you knew would eventually come. 

But you felt you’d finally found your niche in art, and you were pretty good at it, too, if the amount of money you were making from selling your work was any indication. You were truly happy and for the first time in your life you felt content. Well…. Mostly content. There was still the part of your heart that yearned for a companion; someone you could come home to and share a life with. It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried, heaven knows you had. But it just never seemed to pan out. You had a long list of shitty boyfriends and failed relationships. You had only had one good guy in your life; he’d been the love of your life, and even he had left you….

You heaved a sigh, setting your glass down on the countertop with more force than you’d intended, the wine sloshing out of the glass. You needed to get your mind off the past. There wasn’t anything you could do to change it, and you were only hurting yourself further by reopening old wounds. But how could you when Dean had been woven into the very fabric of your heart?

You ran your hands through your windswept hair before making your way to the spare bedroom that you’d converted to a makeshift art studio. It was by no means perfect, but it suited your needs. 

Flipping on the light, you made your way to the far wall where a canvas sat on a large easel. You smiled and studied the painting you’d been working on for several weeks now. It didn’t usually take you long to finish an art piece, whipping it out in a matter of mere days. But this one was special. Maybe it was the reason you couldn’t forget that summer of ‘98, you thought as you stared at the cliff overlooking a cove. 

You sighed, picking up your painting supplies and starting on the low-hanging moon. It sometimes surprised you how much of that fateful night you remembered. Most people would have forgotten it long ago, but it was still so imprinted in your memory that sometimes you still felt the way he felt as he hovered over you, the way your bodies melded together, the love you felt, and the way the salty breeze caressed your sweaty skin as he gave himself over to you completely. 

You felt the awakening arousal course through your veins at the memory and you shook yourself. As much as you were addicted to revisiting the past, you had to admit just how stupid you both had been. You’d been so young and in love, but now looking back, you were shocked and thankful at just how lucky you’d gotten that night, especially since he hadn’t used protection and you sure as hell hadn’t been on the pill. You were already hurting when he left, and you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if you’d also had a kid. 

You had just put the finishing touches on the sky when a loud knock sounded on your door. You frowned. It was late. None of your friends would be making a call, especially this late at night.

You set down your supplies, wiping your hands on the paint-covered cloth beside you before making your way to the front door. You cautiously approached it, another thudding knock sounding out in the silence. You glanced out the peephole. The head of a man was visible through the hole, but you couldn’t make out anything definite.

You stepped away, worrying your lip. You didn’t usually answer the door to strangers. You still weren’t an outgoing person, plus nowadays you couldn’t really trust anyone. You started to turn away from the door, but something stopped you. You didn’t know what it was, but you found yourself going back to the door and opening it.

You peeked out before swinging it open wide. You stepped back, your jaw hanging slack. “Oh, my god,” you breathed, your stomach dropping and goosebumps rolling across your skin. 

“Dean?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked what you read, let me know!! ❤❤

***Please do not share my content on any other platform without my consent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

Everything:

@divadinag @mogaruke @calaofnoldor @defenderrosetyler @coffeebooksandfandom @emoryhemsworth @satans-0-spawn @fandom-princess-forevermore @titty-teetee @gallifreyansass @swiftrogerswinchesterthot @hollymac79 @codename-nyx @kalesrebellion

Dean Girls:

@weepingwillowphoenix @akshi8278 @thesuicidalflower @adoptdontshoppets

Backtrack:

@hazel-eyed-hunter @backseat-of-deans-67chevy @wickidlady @messrrs-prongs @tranquility-or-chaos @deans-baby-momma @roonyxx​ @pansexualgrapes​

[writing-yj]

can i ask you to answer all 0-61, i just really love your writing and wanna know everything about you sorry

This WILL be deleted later, honestly, but here goes... Some personal info. ones are not on here, for obvious reasons.0: Height?5'3 (In my mind, I'm 5'4, leave me alone2: Shoe size?My feet can fit in many different sized shoes, so I have no idea3: Do you smoke?Fuck no4: Do you drink?Not alcohol5: Do you take drugs?Prescribed medication, if that's what you're asking7: Have tattoos?Not yet9: Got any piercings?Just ears10: Want any piercings?Not sure if I want any others yet11: Best friend?I don't use this label so I don't offend anyone or they get weirded out12: Relationship statusI've been single for three years, my boyfriend is fictional 13: Biggest turn onsI trust very few people with this information14: Biggest turn offsBody odor, risk getting caught in public, you know what I have too many to list and I don't feel like going through all of them, soooo15: Favorite movieThis makes me think too hard16: I’ll love you if...I don't even know what real love is supposed to be like in a romantic sense. So I have no idea what will make me truly love someone.17: Someone you missMy friends from camp, my guinea pig that passed away earlier this year, my aunt who passed away from breast cancer, and a friend I grew up with that passed away from Batten Disease.18: Most traumatic experienceI mean, I was bullied a LOT in my younger years and my mom used to yell at me a lot more than she does now. And there was a fight at my school and this girl got hurt REALLY bad and she was screaming out of pain. I couldn't get the sound of it out of my head for days and I had nightmares.20: What I hate most about myselfBITCH, I HAVE A LONG LIST TO CHOOSE FROM AND I AM NOT CHOOSING NOW22: What I want to be when I get olderI wanna be a vet tech!23: My relationship with my sibling(s)Sometimes it's iffy (I want to deck my brother at least half the time I'm around him), I know for a fact that my twin is somewhat two-faced; a seemingly kind and straight A student who hardly ever does something wrong, but she can be completely different and downright mean behind my back/closed doors. I like me older sister, there's nothing wrong about my relationship with her.24: My relationship with my parent(s)I get along with my dad a hell of a lot more than my mom. He is waaayyy less strict than she is on almost everything. Yeah, I love my mom, but things can be tense between us. I try my best not to get an attitude, but it's hard to when she's the one swearing at us to do things or to scold us, and it's hard when she's so unnecessarily strict!25: My idea of a perfect dateMaybe a dinner date where it's not super busy, maybe just eating/hanging out at each others' houses. Definitely NOT somewhere crowded, like the fair or circus. And I wouldn't like to go to the movies either; I want to be able to talk to him.26: My biggest pet peevesNew paragraphs not being started whenever a new person talks or when there's a subject change, waking up early (if you're not a parent or an adult, wake me up early and you DIE), being forced to eat a meal when I'm not hungry, loud noises, and many more.27: A description of the girl/boy I likeI actually don't have a crush irl right now. Not really a dedicated celebrity crush, either. Does Nightwing count? 😂💖28: A description of the person I dislike the mostI dislike so many people, I can't decide29: A reason I’ve lied to a friendI don't want to bother them with my emotions, I don't want to bother them in general, or I just have a secret I want to keep to myself.30: What I hate the most about work/schoolGetting up early, learning things I know I won't need, and homework.31: What my last text message says"Okay😊"32: What words upset me the most"Shut up", "You're fat", and "Why can't you stop being weird for once?".33: What words make me feel the best about myself"You're a great friend", "I trust you", and "You're an amazing person, Ren"34: What I find attractive in womenI can't say that I'm attracted to women35: What I find attractive in menSharp jawline, eyes, hands, neck/collarbone, handsome face, etc. I am attracted to many handsome men.36: Where I would like to liveSomewhere WARM, DAMMIT37: One of my insecuritiesI am constantly insecure about my weight. In an unhealthy, almost obsessive way.38: My childhood career choiceTeacher or vet.39: My favorite ice cream flavorDon't ask me this, not today!40: Who I wish I could beSome rich woman who has plenty of time to write and money to use for useful purposes41: Where I want to be right nowWith one of my very close friends42: The last thing I ateI can't remember? Bad memory.43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediatelyNIGHTWING44: A random fact about anythingI love writing angst, I wish I had the ability to write smut, and male betta fish will kill the female betta fish if she won't mate with him.45: One of my best featuresUm, I can be funny and I have great eyelashes?46: SexualityStraight/Heterosexual47: Got any hobbies?I do; I like drawing, painting, video games, WRITING (obviously), talking about super heroes, and getting/giving physical affection other than hugs.48: Favourite clothing storesI don't go to specific clothing stores... Mostly just Walmart and online shopping49: Where I would like to studyQuiet library or with a friend50: What's stressing you at the moment?School, I'll be able to drive again in January (I had a seizure in July and you can't drive for six months after a seizure), my room is a mess, I can't get on my laptop until Sunday (I got an attitude with mom 😒), two of my guinea pigs are sick, I really wanna hang out with friends, my fish tank needs clean, I have around thirty requests and imagines I still need to write, and more.51: Favourite music genresI'm all over the place with music52: Worst thing a friend has done to meDated my crush when she knew damn well that I liked him. And one friend shocked me with a dog collar, which is BAD because I have a pacemaker.53: Favourite subjects at schoolHistory and my art classes. And orchestra class, if that counts.54: Perfect guy/girlDick Grayson. Someone like him. Or someone funny, handsome, kind/caring, and will not use me mainly for sexual purposes.55: Something no-one I know IRL knows about meI still stress the hell out about my weight56: Happiest memoryI have many happy memories, which one?59: Best advice someone has given you"The heart must first pump blood to itself" and "Don't throw the first punch, but you sure as hell throw the second"60: Books you recommend"The Vampire Stalker"61: Movies you recommendThe Purge, Disney's Princess and the Frog, Pacific Rim, Son of Batman, Batman VS Robin, and Batman Begins.

[4nimenut]

do you have any tips on compositions? your compositions in your pieces are so good!!!

Anonymously or not, ask me something you’ve always wondered.

thank you for the ask! (/ω＼) i’m flattered omg thank you ;v; !

i actually answered a similar question here can you believe it’s been two years already LOL but because it’s been a long time, i’ll try to answer this ask a little differently! also because i took a second look at how i answered two years ago and i… honestly was questioning myself afterwards LOL

and honestly i didnt exactly stick to whatever i preached HAHA sweATS

i’m not the best at explaining things but i’ll do my best!

this is my own personal method of how i usually do things so you don’t exactly have to follow this word for word! it’s really just an explanation of how i see things www….ヾ(・∀・；)

generally none of my methods when planning for a composition hasn’t exactly changed much from what i mentioned two years ago, but i think i’ve learnt a thing or two as well over the years; i hope it shows in my recent art as compared to older art! ;w;

to start the ball rolling, we could start on arrangement! ;0

here’s a visual representation of the differences between the visual space of a landscape and portrait orientation (・ω

i,,, usually go for a landscape orientation for the expansive feeling,, there’s also more room for feels to penetrate the visual space,,, or at least that’s my excuse anyway LOL

a landscape orientation emphasises greatly on a horizontal line of action in your works as well, and if you want to think deeper about it, a horizontal line could generally mean stability, a balance of sorts, peace and harmony, even? you could usually use it to express a sense of tranquility, wideness, etc..  

in a sense, there’s no alteration of gravity, everyone’s sitting / standing up straight, etc… 

as shown below there’s some ways you could create a horizontal line of action…. actually does this even make sense OTL it’s really there just to show the general flow of things

tl;dr i usually use a landscape orientation + horizontal line of action as my starting base whenever i want to create something with feels (∩´∀｀)∩ imagine the amount of expansiveness your feels can tap upon and make your heart ache more ASDFGDFGH

here we can compare the effects of a landscape and portrait orientation (though it might not be a fair comparison LOL)

as you can see, while the portrait orientation does provide a sense of closeness between both of them, the landscape orientation creates a greater sense of openness and greater balance… or is it just me LOL as compared to the tightness in the portrait version. it works too but i would prefer zooming them out even more to provide a greater sense of openness,,, or perhaps this is more of personal preferences hnngh //w//

usually i’d use a portrait orientation + a vertical line of action to show tension! because of the greater constraint in space as compared to a landscape orientation, you’d tend to feel a greater sense of entrapment, and that’s usually what i hope to tap upon when i want to create intense situations ;w; 

or otherwise i just use portrait orientations for zine pieces because i’m too tired to do a spread page so i just try to come up with something LOL

but wait! sometimes when you stick to just a horizontal / vertical arrangement of things in general it can get… very boring because of how strictly horizontal / vertical it is LOL ;;;;SWEATS 

so here’s my favourite part of this entire post (LOL); the diagonal line of actiooooonnnnn∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

compared to a horizontal line where equilibrium is largely established, a diagonal line expresses a sense of unstability, and the need for movement — in otherwords more dynamic! 

tilting your points of view can also provide you with interesting compositions as well because it doesn’t follow the dead equilibrium norm that horizontal / vertical lines usually set and creates a greater sense of action going on in the picture *w*

psst also, when you take on a more diagonal approach, you can fit in more things in the background LOL since usually a diagonal approach takes up the diagonal length of your canvas, leaving more room for… more dynamic stuff AAAAAAAA—

sooo here we can take a look at what usually happens when you tilt your things LOL

taking on a horizontal approach, this halloween skk piece becomes full blown complete angst instead of being simply lowkey angst in the original post why did i not do that when i was working on it LOL while the more diagonal orientation makes everything look as though there’s something more to it instead of simply dynamic movement — it’s as though there’s this force driving a story — or maybe it’s just me overexplaining things.

also i totally didn’t do it to aggravate the height differences between the both of them. nope. not at all.

to put it in a quick summary:

horizontal approach is usually for the harmony / feels / angst / kill me pls

portrait approach is usually for tension

diagonal approach is usually for more dynamic / action / it usually draws more attention towards the piece

or usually i really just yolo and whack and hope it gives people feels

i believe there’s some examples from two years ago about how detailed i can get when coming up with the composition of a piece, but i’ll briefly touch on it again, and with more detail —

when it comes to what to include in your background and how to eventually draw out your piece, you might want to try consider the following:

what kind of setting do you want it to be? and in turn, atmosphere?

what kind of ideas / central theme(s) do you want your piece to reflect?

is your piece inspired by a certain object / item / concept?

for example, in my PM Week Day 1 submission where the theme i chose was Then and Now, i thought that if i was going to do something about soukoku, then i wanted to create a sense of nostalgia, especially the ridiculous banter that they shared four years ago, and are still sharing right now in the canon timeline. the world that they live in remained relatively unchanged, so i settled for the Yokohama cityscape.

the direct reflection of both of them on the wet surface of the floor reflects how both of them are still the same even after four years, even though Dazai may have switched sides. i chose to keep ADA obscured from view instead of PM Dazai because the idea of Dazai back then has already come to pass and set into stone, and is something that will never change, but the current Dazai may have changed, and that’s why i thought it might be better to leave it to the viewer’s inference on the extent of Dazai’s change, physically and emotionally. he might be showing more emotion on his face right now, but we won’t know because it’s hidden from view, but it’s up to you to determine if he really has changed,,, wink,,,

… or so goes my thought processes about this piece, anyway, ww..

usually when it comes to drawing fanart based on fanfics which i do like 99% of the time, i like to consider any other possible objects involved in that one particular scene / just the overall fic in general and try to make a reference to them somehow in the fanart, and determine the mood from there.

for example, in my Muse (chapter 21) fanart where Akira finally kisses Yusuke in the jellyfish tank, i imagined that one moment to be a rather magical moment, especially since the story is told from Yusuke’s point of view, who views the world in a slightly different manner than the rest, hence i was aiming for the magical, ethereal feeling through the jellyfish; as though they’re wisps of spirits circling around the both of them ;w; the fanart is actually viewed from the inside of the jellyfish tank, but because i chose not to make the distinction of the glass / hard plastic surface of the tank, it feels as though the jellyfish that glows in different colours are actually in the scene with them and lighting everything up ///w///

… or that’s how i hope it goes anyway LOL i feel like i’m just rambling about my own artistic thoughts HAHA.

though, these thinking processes mainly come from my own experience from having taken literature and having to analyse things and stuff, so i hope this entire post provides some insight on how i usually put together my compositions and the like ^q^!!

again, you don’t have to take this word for word, but i hope it’s able to provide you with a better insight on how i do my art—! ;w;

and remember to have fun!! (*´ω｀*)

[ask-jungshook]

can i be real for a sec?? you are so amazing and im about to cry bc you're everything i wish i was. ppl love your art so much and your angst and you're so talented. you are so so talented. ok im sorry i just needed this off my chest

// OMG NOOOOOO NONNY PLEASE DON’T CRY!

For me, my ‘talent’ is probably an accumulation of ‘natural’ talent (basically your base stats in gaming terms lol), motivation, experience, practice, and personal drive.

So to get a general sense of where I’m coming from, let me tell you a story of a YOUNG DISSU and how her ‘talent’ developed. (aka my art journey LOL)

So let’s started!

Base Stats

When I first got into drawing (this was around middle school, so I was around 12 years old????), my base stat for drawing was probably a 1 out of 10 –  pretty horrible tbh because all I did was just to try and replicate my favorite mangas characters as they were drawn. (At the time I think it was Yu Yu Hakusho LMFAO). If I were to make an analogy or any type of comparison, let’s just say, my stick figures had better proportions than my actual drawings but I digress. But as much as I drew poorly, I found myself loving drawing and loving art because it was an outlet for me to relieve stress. (But looking back oh boy was I a hardcore weeaboo haha) This period of time was the time where I gave no shits if I drew poorly, I drew because I had fun and that was pretty much it. (So there was like pretty much 0 improvement since I didn’t really bother to learn anything technique-wise) 

Motivation & Practice

Around high school was when I first started digital art (I around age 16 at this time) and this was the time period when DeviantArt was the ‘go to’ place to post drawings and literature. (pretty sure tumblr and twitter didn’t exist back then and facebook like just became a thing lol) Avatar sites like gaiaonline were also super popular and filled with a bunch of talented artists. I remember distinctly being like ‘holy shit these people are so good and so talented and thinking that I could never surmount to anything like that’. But at the same time, another part of me was like AWE INSPIRED of their talent and would like obsessively see if they had any tutorials on drawing. So while yes, there was a portion of me that wanted to be like my art idols and draw the way they did, at the same time, I kinda knew in my head that that was impossible? (But it didn’t stop me from trying to emulate them) 

So while I kept on drawing because it was fun and I liked it as a hobby– BUT this time, I had people to look up to in terms of the ‘I want to draw like you’ aspect of it. They were my art idols and pretty much everything I wanted to be from an art standpoint hahaha. But those artists were my main source of motivation for wanting to improve throughout high school. So this was the period of time that other people’s art lead to me wanting to develop a better style and to improve my technique. (I drew a lot, but never really finished anything major because I was really impatient back then, but my style was HEAVILY impacted by my art idols lol – VERY VERY GRAPHIC NOVELY/DATING SIM-ESQUE)

Experience & Personal Drive

I think in recent years, I did a lot of growing not only as an artist but as a person. One thing to note about growth and  improvement is that seeing improvement/seeing growth does not happen overnight, and I took many art hiatuses during high school and most of college simply because I didn’t have time due to my course load. So after cycling through various styles, my art kinda just stagnated for a long time. At that time, it was a bit disheartening and frustrating for me, because at that point I drew for like 6 years and made like small baby steps. (I had a variety of styles, but I never really had the solid groundwork of like anatomy, how clothing works, or color theory.) So it did put a hamper down on my motivation to draw back then– simply because I didn’t think I was improving as fast as other people – which in retrospect, was mistake number one.

I also went through a pretty bad battle with depression while I was in college that ebbed down a bit, then resurfaced after I graduated (this was roughly a 3 yr span), which hindered a lot of my art growth substantially as well  because my mentality simply wasn’t there. (Music and art hold emotional ties for me, so whenever I’m depressed, everything relating to the creative side of me goes to shit and I will have 0 motivation to draw and basically just sleep all day.)

But to be brutally honest, this is where personal drive comes in. There was one day where I just had full blown out sit down with myself where I basically told myself that I was so sick of being sad all the time, so tired of just being tired, so sick of hating myself– and that I missed being happy and that I missed that sense of joy. So what did I do? I pushed myself and forced myself out of my bubble in an effort to crawl out of that pit that is depression. But one of the things that helped me the most was reconnecting with a bunch of art friends that I met online in high school on one of those avatar sites. I’m a lot stronger of a person mentally thanks to them. :) And with the help of my friends, I basically began my journey of a 360 degree change– my friends, music, art and the past depressed me were all sources of motivation for me to fight to win that mental battle against myself. (One of the things I did was delete all my social media and just start over– that way it’s easy to filter out unwanted things if you start with a blank slate. I also bought my dog around this time which helped my mentality exponentially.)

Getting started was probably the hardest part, because depression is a cycle of ups and downs– but in order to break free, YOU have to be the one to initiate change and stick to making it happen no matter how uncomfortable you may be. I understand that not everyone can be like me and resolve to do everything yourself. Some people need therapy, and some people need medication and that’s fine because as humans, we’re all different in how we cope with things. In my case, it was all about mental fortitude and my own will power. For me personally, I extended my art hiatus and took several more months off of art and just solely focused on myself and my mental health more than anything. I did a lot of soul searching during this time. Ironically, I think my main motivation for crawling out of that hell hole was just hating how much I hated being sad all the time because that’s just a place that I would never want to go back to.

And even now, it’s still a lot of self exploring of what I want for myself and understanding myself. I’m a person with many layers of personality (like an onion!) – and I’m still learning how to embrace all of those layers (even the bad ones) because in the end, your layers combined are what makes you who you are. If you try to reject a part of any layer, that’s pretty much you trying to reject a part of you– which may lead to or cause a lot of internal turmoil. (On a not so serious note, I realize this ‘layer’ thing was a totally unintentional analogy taken from Shrek, imsosorry lol)

And I just realized I took a HUGE tangent, but going back to the experience and personal drive, I think it was some time around 2016 and going into 2017 when I officially made it to be one of my goals for the new year as to get ‘better’ at art. At this point, I had like 10 years of ‘experience’ in digital art (probably a lot less if you factor in my hiatuses but I digress lol), so based off of those past experiences, I know what I’m good at and what needs improvement. (so I know where my groundwork is lacking and what I should focus on) From a mental perspective, I also understand myself more in the sense that I knew what caused mental stress on me, which in turn allows me to not put myself in uncomfortable positions mentally. At the same time, understanding myself has also allowed me to know my limits and understand how much I can push myself.

But more importantly (from an art standpoint), I’ve learned to take a lot of inspiration from other artists and a lot of art friends instead of wanting to have their style of drawing. I think it was important to me to realize and recognize that I will probably never draw like some of them (because they have a lot more experience than me), and that that should be taken as a positive thing because my art should reflect who I am. So remember that onion I was talking about? All the people I look up to and all the people who I’ve befriended through art also play a HUGE role in my many layers because without them, I personally wouldn’t have that personal drive to learn and get better. So def find something that motivates you to be a better version of yourself! (For me it’s music, books, and other people’s art!)

So going back to my main point of talent:

Don’t think of someone else’s talent as something you should replicate. Because honestly speaking, you can’t, since you literally are a different person– and no two people are the same. (Nor are two onions the same)  Instead– take an opportunity to view it as a source of motivation and inspiration to grow and foster your own talent and your own personal growth. Because talent is something you CAN cultivate into something beautiful given time and patience. (Related note: I wrote like an essay in my meet the artist link about my thoughts regarding art and improvement and about comparing yourself to other artists– dunno if that’ll help, but feel free to check it out here lol)  

It took me 12 years for my art to evolve to what it is now (I’m 24 now), and I still think I have a lot more room to grow because there was so much I missed out on when I first started out. So while yes, I would consider myself as ‘talented’, there were so many things that have attributed to and molded my base ‘talent’ from when I was 12  to what is it now. And beauty is, is that that everyone’s base stats are different– heck there are people HALF my age who draw better than I do now and that’s amazing! (Also don’t let someone’s age be a reason to put yourself down either! I personally find young artists super inspiring :’))

But honestly, the most important thing is that in the end, art should be about yourself! As I mentioned before, art and music are linked to me emotionally, so happiness is the main thing that I want my art to bring to me. You shouldn’t do things for the sake of others (like getting notes/being popular), you should do it because it makes you happy. (Because if you’re doing things for others, you’re literally putting your own happiness in the hands of other people– and it shouldn’t be that way) For me, drawing makes me happy because I like to see my progression over the years as well as that sense of accomplishment once you finish a piece.

I’m so sorry that this turned into a really long essay/rambling about my life (i tried to keep it as short as possible, but it still ended up long af weeps), but I just felt the need the type this because I’ve been in a similar position as you before. (When I first read this ask I had like a lot of mixed emotions because I was like yes, it’s a compliment, but at the same time, why do I feel really sad? lol so yeah … sorry about the wall of text)

So don’t wish you were me! LOL :’D (lol trust me bc I am far from perfect) Instead, embrace yourself, (& to paraphrase the chorus of Cypher 4)  know yourself, and most importantly, love yourself because you are ALSO a blooming talent in the garden that is life. 

:) So what I really want to see is the phrase of “you’re everything i wish i was“ turn into something like, “thanks for inspiring me to improve” or something along those lines.

As artists, we all learn off from each other. And personally, I would be honored to be some sort of inspiration to you – but as I said before, please don’t think that you’re any less than me or think negatively about yourself because you are amazing and talented in your own right! :’) And if it helps, I’ll be rooting for you to continue cultivating your own ‘talent’ into something even more spectacular! Nonny HWAITING!

Also if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me! (I hope I don’t come off as intimidating, I’m just very scatterbrained and get distracted easily lol i also apologize for any spelling mistakes in this because im too lazy to proofread lol)

[sodasyrup]

DAILY ANON SPAM

i really let these build up

DAY 315: nah lol it okay. I was able to write, I was just staring at the screen. and I wrote more until I finished the second chapter today!!!!

congrats on writing!

DAY 316: THIS THUNDERSTORM IS A STRONG BOY TODAY OH FUCK!!! I actually heard the thunder even with my earbuds in max volume 😳

i fuckin love thunderstorms..........

DAY 317: I didn't get to write today 😔 honestly quite tired but I got to have hot chocolate so that's good

WHORE

DAY 318: I was able to write and we're supposed to have really bad storms today!!!!! also I almost fell asleep before doing this lmao

Whore redacted

DAY 320: in a gift event and got my giftee. I'm so excited to start writing for them!!!!!!

day missing?

DAY 321: I was so distracted today and I don't know why 😔 also I really want a switch so I can play animal crossing but I don't want to burden my parents

oh.... if u get a switch we can play naminal crosigns 

DAY 322: OH MY GOSH, THAT'S AMAZING!!! GOOD JOB!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!

COLLEGE TIME BABY!

DAY 323: this whole week, 0/10 for me. I've been so forgetful and keep procrastinating. the only reason I am able to finish what I have done so far is because of sprints 😓 oh well! but I'm tired so sleepy time night!!!

oh babe sorry. i hope u slept well

DAY 324: dunno if I already mentioned this, but I'm in two birthday events and I already reached the first minimum word count for one of them and am halfway to the other event's word count minimum!!! :D

time to pass the MAXIMUM WORD COUNT

DAY 325: I GOT MY UNDERCUT SHAVED AGAIN!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! YEA! GAY! RIGHTS!

DAY 326: my legs hurt from standing so much reorganizing my clothes 😪

id rather die than organize my clothes

DAY 327: I WENT OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH AND WATCHED TWO MOVIES I RENTED!!! Sonic was really good and Birds of Prey too!!!

outside......... *smacks u* dont get infected 

DAY 328: my knee HURTS!!! also I really hope I can get a new laptop soon so I don't have to worry about it and can write freely

*rips out ur knee* you deserve so much 

DAY 329: I have one day left of "school" and I doubt I even have much to do and I hate it :( but how have you been? are you doing good?

u did it..... today was my last day of work! twinsies....even tho im LATE

DAY 330: I'm gonna miss everyone but at least soon I will be able to sign up to finish my driving lessons and then focus on my writing completely :D

oh fuck epix! i cant drive im gay

DAY 331: my knee hurts but I finally figured out how I want my gift fic to keep going!!! also I hate america once again but I love the people who are rioting because honestly, I'm surprised we haven't lost our patience sooner

FIX UR FACKIN KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also god america is awful but my heart goes out to the protesters 

DAY 332: don't know if you've heard about pride///fall but be careful, okay? also I'm pretty sure there was a protest not too far where I live. however it ended, I'm just proud

ive heard of it but idc too much ive been around for awhile i know the internet well enough to just shrug it off. more concerned for others

DAY 333: dude it's okay. don't force yourself to answer them all at once. almost all of my daily anons have been written while I was half asleep in bed anyway, I vibe with that

owo........i answered them ALL

DAY 335: thanks dude. it's just painful to see innocent people be hurt or k*lled. nothing about this is right and I hate so much of this world right now. I can only hope things get better from here

MISSING A DAY

also yeah it sucks so much but we can work towards something better, together

DAY 336: I made ramen two hours ago and ate it. in the middle of the night. my stomach may not agree fully but I don't regret it. also I cannot type at all today

i think ramen just does that? makes u shit ur pants

DAY 337: currently crying because I just finished reading a fic and I'm just emotional. I knew what was gonna happen because of the major character death warning but jesus fuck, it hurt so much in the end. I loved it. 15/10

i cant read angst no comfort it makes me depressed

DAY 338: I've had a headache this whole day 😔 and I think I'm starting to feel bored and lonely. I might take a walk at some point or just sleep a lot

:^(

sorry man, NZ has been out of lockdown for awhile. hope you feel better soon

DAY 339: I said fuck it and had ramen again at like midnight, however much my stomach disagrees be damned. and now I am sated uwu

RAMEN MAKES U POOPY!

DAY 340: sleeby... but playin sims... and eating cheese... mmmmmmm 😋

sims......chehze....... mlemlemelme

DAY 341: leggy hurts but I have ice cream so I guess it balances out uwu

dude fix your leg serious go to a doctor or something

DAY 342: it was raining today!!!! and I loved it!!!! it was so windy!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love rain when im not in it

DAY 343: I finished drawing a second of and started my third! I love them all so far

ART! CONGRATS!

DAY 344: I was sad today but I had two cups of hot coco and did several sprints so I'm feeling better now :)

coco is very nice, you deserve it

DAY 345: it got cold all of a sudden??? excuse me, how rude. anyway, it's hot chocolate time!!!! imma add a little salt

the cold is me sucking away ur- wait wait wait salt in your fucking coco?

DAY 346: it was cold as a BITCH last night and it's cold again!!! 😭 at least I got blankets and hot chocolate 😋

SALTY HOT CHOCOLATES?

DAY 347: I might have allergies, idk. but I can finally finish up my driving lessons!! and I finished my required hours so woohoo!!!

i’ll sneeze in ur mouth to fix ur allergies 

DAY 346: okay but real talk- I'll probably stop doing these after I do a whole year if that's okay. and I finishing up my driving lessons!

THATS FINE BABE one whole year like. fuckin dedicated!

DAY 349: I just realized I messed up the day number for the last one *dies* goddamnit. anyway, early sleepy time!!!!!! uwu

you’ve messed up a few but its ok bc youve done this for a fucking YEAR

DAY 350: MY BODY FUCKING HURTS????? rude. I don't even know why, it just did

im gonna remove ur bones

DAY 351: oof writing is hard and drawing is hard. goddamnit life is hard. BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME

i wish i had hands to draw and write