#angelica's grass

[butteredtoads]

Damn I knew Angelica took a hard shift into tradcath content but to delete this many of her old videos is INSANE. Literally all of the ones I would regularly watch from her are just gone, my playlist of her videos went from like 15 to 3 😭

[cupidelocket]

tune into my new upload on Angelica's Grass (ASMR)... had no clue people were talking abt her on here!

[queencolondarkwing]

AngelicaASMR’s current change

This post only about any info posted as of 7/25/2023 (will update in future if needed).

Ok so I’ve been following the Angelica Asmr shit pretty closely (don’t expect me to comment on gwen gwiz too because that girl is a grifter from the start). And as a mental health worker it REALLY freaks me out for her. I worked in a rehab for awhile. For people quitting drugs, but many of them also had bipolar, ptsd, schizophrenia, and similar diagnosises (some people also had the behavior due to being in crisis as well due to loss, recent homelessness, police brutality, etc.). So I know what psychotic breaks look like. I won’t armchair diagnose anything specific because I am not her medical provider, but while I can’t say she has anything for certain - she has a history of manic episodes in the past.

As someone with ADHD, a history of sexual and religious trauma, and c-ptsd like Angelica, I can honestly see how she fell into this. As someone who is also anti-capitalist, I can see why she thinks finding community would be beneficial (not sure why she would choose the Catholic Church instead of something from less individualistic, Eastern philosophy doesn’t make sense to me personally though...) to finding growth in an online era of isolation following a personal loss in her life. It seems weird how she went from talking about her Jehovahs Witness trauma from her youth...to going full on Orthodox, but I’ll get into details on why mentally this is actually super common in a minute.

I can also see how she would become a SWERF after having done OF, since as a former sex worker myself (camming, porn, fssw) who quit doing it after being raped - I can safely say that I myself am neither pro or anti sex work. I’m pro-decriminalization to keep workers safe, but also do feel a bit sick sometimes that MOST fssw on the streets are marginalized people. It is a complicated issue with nuance that non-sex workers have no business taking a side on. However, she is very hateful recently and anti-sex in general. Which is an issue.

She originally joined OnlyFans during a manic episode. So she HAS a history of mental illness and making major life decisions during mania. 

She went from pro-lgbtq to anti-lgbtq. Deleted her old progressive videos. Claimed to be a victim of MKUltra. Started making up delusions around the Catholic Church being anti-capitalist (Catholics individually can 100% be leftists, but the Church itself is VERY Capitalist). She posted homophobic and transphobic tiktoks where she would yell practically incoherently. Lots of staring. Inability to talk without looking away and laughing (she is normally a skilled actress).  Posting WAY more frequently than ever(she reposted 3 deleted videos last night and deleted them by this morning). She posted a video and lots of shorts and is way more active on Instagram. 

 The worst breakdowns I saw working rehab mostly always cycled through 4 topics: fame/self importance, inconsistent political and religious rambling, and sex. Always. Angelica has shown inconsistent spiritual beliefs (she has been mixing up Catholic, Orthodox, politics, and other religions). She has been focusing on sex in the context of trauma and posted a short of her in a bathtub on youtube again. She has been posting and immediately deleting content that has even positive comments on it.

Some medical signs of possible mania and/or psychosis that she is exhibiting:

Paranoia, trouble talking in a clear way/rambling, withdrawing socially (posting more often/online more but also alienating from her former fans), Confused speech, trailing off/lack of focus in videos, Generally disorganized way of thinking, no sign of restraint in expressing self, racing speech, goal-directed activity (seems to have a new anti-sex work goal), distractable/trails off topic, random giggling at nothing at camera like it is a person she is conversing with...etc. Tbh the amount of red flags I’ve seen are alarming.

I hope she gets support and help. And it is one reason I can’t blame her as hard as I would most, because she seems clearly unwell.  It isn’t an excuse. At all. And I don’t blame people for not supporting her going forward, but I plan to keep an eye on the situation for now and am hoping that somehow she can pull out of this shit, because I’ve seen this shit happen to a LOT of people with hard lives. Hell, I’ve even lashed out in smaller degrees and been delusional during my own ptsd breakdowns too, but when people are as far gone as Angelica is...I don’t usually see them come back again to the same state they were in previously. I’m hoping for the best, as a former fan and as a social worker, but Idk.

[cliffburton]

it's embarrassing to admit you're into asmr. i am

[galacticnikki]

A Baby Witch's First Grimoire

Grimoire Entry 14 - Protection Herbs

A:

Acacia

African Violet

Agrimony

Ague Root

Aloe

Althea

Alyssum

Amaranth

Angelica

Anise

Arbutus

Asafetida

Ash

B:

Balm of Gilead

Bamboo

Barley

Basil

Bay

Bean

Betony, Wood

Birch

Bittersweet

Blackberry

Bladderwrack

Bloodroot

Bluebell

Bodhi

Boneset

Briony

Bromeliad

Broom

Buckthorn

Burdock

C:

Cactus

Calamus

Caraway

Carnation

Cascara Sagrada

Castor

Cedar

Celandine

Chrysanthemum

Cinchona

Cinnamon

Cinquefoil

Clove

Clover

Club Moss

Coconut

Cohosh, Black

Cotton

Cumin

Curry

Cyclamen

Cypress

D-G:

Datura

Devil's Bit

Devil's Shoestring

Dill

Dogwood

Dragon's Blood

Ebony

Elder

Elecenpane

Eucalyptus

Euphorbia

Fern

Figwort

Fleabane

Frankincense

Galangal

Garlic

Geranium

Ginseng

Gorse

Gourd

Grain

Grass

H-K:

Hazel

Heather

Holly

Honeysuckle

Horehound

Houseleek

Hyacinth

Hyssop

Irish Moss

Ivy

Juniper

Kava-Kava

L-M:

Lady's Slippers

Larch

Larkspur

Lavender

Lekk

Lettuce

Lilac

Lime

Linden

Loosestrife

Lotus

Lucky Hand

Mallow

Mandrake

Marigold

Masterwort

Meadow Rue

Mimosa

Mint

Mistletoe

Molluka

Mugwort

Mulberry

Mullein

Mustard

Myrrh

N-Q:

Nettle

Norfolk Island Pine

Oak

Olive

Onion

Orris

Papaya

Papyrus

Parsley

Pennyroyal

Peony

Pepper

Periwinkle

Pilot Weed

Pimpernel

Pine

Plantain

Plum Purslane

Quince

R-S:

Radish

Ragwort

Raspberry

Rattlesnake Root

Rhubarb

Rice

Roots

Rose

Rosemary

Rowan

Sage

St. John's Wort

Sandalwood

Sloe

Snapdragon

Southernwood

Spanish Moss

Squill

Sweetgum

T-Z:

Tamarisk

Thistle

Ti

Toadflax

Tomato

Tormentil

Tulip

Turnip

Valerian

Venus' Fly Trap

Vervain

Violet

Wax Plant

Willow

Wintergreen

Witch's Hazel

Wolf's Bane

Yerba Santa

Yucca

Feel free to check out my master post for more information!

[lorei-writes]

Loreeeeeeeei~ Congrats on 1k followers!! I'm so proud of you 🥺💜

As for the RQs... look, I'll try not to make 3 for Clavis, but I won't make any promises 🙈

So, what about Clavis + kisses + fluff/comfort 🙈💜

Love you and thank you 😊💜

You know I'd never stay around here for so long without you and all my other friends <3 Thank you for always being a source of good advice and support ;--; <3

I think I've leaned into comfort? It's a little bitter-sweet, perhaps with a little bit of hot sauce.

»All the things we choose to share«

Clavis x Reader Fluff/Comfort ~500 words Content Warnings: none

Scent of Lavender

You smelled of lavender; of broken promises, of things seemingly innate and common sense that were betrayed. You smelled of invisible scars, of marigolds, of unsafe safety, of willow’s cries and endless fields. Of edelweiss, of its persistence and devotion, of sunflowers’ golden warmth. You were a bouquet of emotion and experience.

His goldenrod.

His good fortune.

Clavis’ back hit the ground, your arms and his will both pushing against the ill-natured inertia. Soft grass tickled at your calves as you pinned him down, violet hair strewn around his head in periwinkle halo. Horses neighed at the distance.

You didn’t care.

Why should you?

“Hey —” Clavis whispered, his lips barely parting for the sound to sieve through. It was irrelevant, you assumed, or perhaps it was both irrelevant and necessary to say something in this situation. To resist you despite his obedience, to disobey you in face of attraction… To dominate rather than be dominated, to state his purpose, to perform, to smile, to —

But he did not want to.

Your fingers interlaced, his grip on you strengthened. Clavis stared at you from below, golden irises drinking in your incandescent glory. Setting sun crowned your hair with copper wire coils, painted you in shadows, its death your scorching resurrection and your lips a piece of flint. You smiled, released him… Caressed his cheek. Delicate. Smouldering. Tender. Branding. All that he had ever wanted. His.

“Yes?” you asked, part for yourself, your selfish desire to hear him say it, part for his own sake.

“Do with me as you please.”

“Anything?” you coaxed.

“Anything.” A shiver zapped through Clavis, lightning spilling from your fingertips as you caressed his neck, your nails grazing his Adam’s apple. “I’m yours, my dearest darling.”

Yours.

Hypnotiser hypnotised, you set his skin aflame at his own request. You sucked at the side of his neck, bruising him with you attention, your mark growing just above the collar of his shirt. He would not be able to cover it with innocently white linen, would not conceal it underneath a similarly purple cravat. Clavis was yours and it was for others to see. Utterly intoxicated, you shifted your grip, your hands sliding to his wrists.

“You asked for this,” you remind him, clinging onto the last of your reason.

“I did. Show me how much you love me, my hmm —”

You stole the words from his lips, utterly voracious of anything that he had to give, generous in your own care. The grass around you swayed, honeyed scent of nectar dissolving in the early evening dew. Yet Clavis was sweeter, unparalleled in the heaving of his chest and the jerking of his hips, growing all the more saccharine as your tongue slipped into his mouth and whetted his need. You slid your fingers through his hair, allowed him to embrace you… saw your world turn upside-down from the safety of his arms.

You smelled of lavender, of broken promises and grief, of disappointment and cold hurt. You were the marigolds and he was your ivy, ramping, coiling over any of your broken parts. Your lotus, your rebirth, your angelica-inspiration… Your love, and you did pull him down, the both of you blooming together under the starlit skies.

You've seen a typo? Let me know!

Tag List: @lancelotscloak @starlitmanor-network @violettduchess @pathogenic @fang-and-feather

@tele86 @rinaririr @keithsandwich @cheese-ception @bis-enti

@claviscollections @queengiuliettafirstlady @sh0jun @lucyw260

Tell me if you'd like to be added to my tag list :)

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

My Garden Flowers Part 9

All photos mine.

In order of appearance:

241. Wild Yam (Dioscorea villosa) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

242. Nodding Wakerobin (Trillium flexipes) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

243. Moss campion (Silene acaulis) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

244. Great White Trillium (Trillium grandiflora) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

245. Yellow Wood-Sorrel (Oxalis stricta) Small yellow flowers. You often find them growing as weeds, but they're native at least to the northern USA bordering southern Ontario. The leaves, flowers, and fruits are a very lovely snack, with a tart refreshing flavour.

246. Horseweed (Erigeron canadensis) A fairly common garden weed, but native so she can stay where she pops up from time to time. Not pictured as I haven't got pictures.

247. Stiff Goldenrod (Oligoneuron rigida) Not pictured as I haven't got pictures yet.

248. Fourflower Loosestrife (Lysimachia quadriflora) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

249. Smallflower Forgetmenot (Myosotis laxa) At least I think. Her flowers are certainly much smaller than the European pink and blue species I see around. Not sure what else she'd be.

250. Bearberry (Arctostaphylos uva-ursi) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

251. Tall Meadow-Rue (Thalictrum pubescens) Yet more lacy white flowers! I imagine if you preferred white you could have a full native garden of such.

252. Northern Bog Violet (Viola nephrophylla) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

253. Wool Grass (Scirpus cyperinus) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

254. Prairie Milkweed (Asclepias sullivantii) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

255. Square-Stemmed Monkeyflower (Mimulus ringens) More leggy than her yellow cousin, but still very attractive flowers that look a lot like snapdragons. She needs things moist.

256. Pawpaw (Asimina triloba) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

257. Meadow Sundrops (Oenothera pilosella) Not quite as intensely yellow as her cousins, Oenothera biennis and Oenothera fruticosa, but still very bright.

258. Wood Lily (Lilium philadelphicum) We don't have a ton of red or orange flowers native here as compared to yellow, white, or pink/purple flowers, so each one is a treat.

259. Virginia Waterleaf (Hydrophyllum virginianum) Yet more lacy white flowers! Not complaining, though, I think they're lovely in the garden. You find these growing in shaded woods.

260. Woodland Strawberry (Fragaria vesca) Unlike her cousin in the front, this one produces lots of berries...but they're white! That's not usual for the species but not unheard of. It's kind of fun to pick little white strawberries each year from that patch.

261. Pickerelweed (Pontederia cordata) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

262. Bog Rosemary (Andromeda polifolia) This is a cultivar. I will have the wild type one day.

263. Strict Blue-Eyed Grass (Sisyrinchium montanum) Her cousin in the front prefers things dry, but this one, like many members of her family (irises), prefers things moist. It was actually easier to get her to take than the dry one, though, which I had three failed attempts at before the one I planted last year.

264. Downy Yellow Violet (Viola pubescens) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

265. Purplestem Angelica (Angelica atropurpurea) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

266. Wrinkleleaf Goldenrod (Solidago rugosa) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

267. Purple Giant Hyssop (Agastache scrophulariifolia) Not pictured as I haven't got pictures yet.

268. Buffaloberry (Shepherdia canadensis) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

269. Silverberry (Elaeagnus commutata) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

270. White Lettuce (Nabalus albus) Not pictured as she hasn't flowered yet.

[cozycryptidcorner]

this is extremely niche but I do believe from the bottom of my heart that Angelica Grass of angelicaasmr is shilling out for right wing tiktok because she thinks it’s the fastest way to get money. And she’s selling herself out only for a couple of bucks bc her views aren’t great. idk what else to say other than it’s really sad to see someone do that AND FAIL!!!!!!!!! bc she’s failing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her videos suck ass and barely get any views!!!! her weird asmr style would have been perfect for tiktok but instead she’s shilling out to republicans. She low key admitted by commenting “and shilling the leftists would get me more money?”. idk. Puerto Rican to Puerto Rican, the people you’re trying to appeal to are not going to accept you. Not just because you’re Puerto Rican, but remember that girl that said the n word and tried aligning herself with literal Nazis but was immediately accused of being a CIA plant because they went thru her Twitter history and found out she used to date a black man? Your digital footprint of quirky “”wokism”” is larger. Be so fucking for real.

[i-like-her-like-that]

why are you a simp for your gf

I wouldn't describe myself as a simp because I dislike that word but still.

Okay so. 15 reasons why I love my girlfriend [ there are more than 15 but I'm not going to name them all because some things I want just for us ]:

She's really pretty oh my god you don't get it she's really really really pretty dfhssjgkhlhjgs she's so pretty

She's really nice ! She always checks in to try make sure I'm eating enough and stuff !!!!!

She is one of the two irl people I know and talk to frequently who uses my pronouns; she's also made every single one of her friends use my pronouns correctly or unfriended them.

She spends time with me and cares to be around me ! A lot of people don't do that with me.

She has awesome flannels that I can steal and wear.

She buys me presents randomly AGHEJKDFSHJKJDLFS she bought me this really cute necklace and it's like a small jar on a chain and the jar has a glow-in-the-dark ghost figure in it and dfshjaghsalfkgs I love ghosts and glow-in-the-dark stuff dfghjfadsgdkaljdxnkdsajersfhdg I love her.

We have this cute little thing where we exchange rings; we'll be wearing rings and I'll for example step out of the car and walk into my girlfriend's school to go get my sister [ they go to the same school ] and I'll see my girlfriend and give her my spinny fidget ring and she'll give me her meandros ring and then we'll like. Give them back next time we see eachother; like at work for example. It's become a fun habit.

We go on walks around the neighbourhood or to her workplace and oftentimes there's a field near where we live that gets set on fire so we wait til it's all burnt off a lot of grass and then we go run around the crunchy dry grass and it's really cool !!!! We also walk her dog around the neighbourhood.

Uhm idk if I said this but all the little things she does are really pretty.

She cooks such good meals and snacks she made a brownie fudge one time that was literal heaven.

We're in a healthy loving relationship so I imagine that involves. Love, y'know ?

She's always so nice to me GAHJFKDHKAFJAHDKKFDLK <3333

Goes insane jumps up and down her voice is so pretty her voice is so pretty I could listen to her voice forever

WHEN SHE SINGS OH MY GOD basically we both like EPIC: The Musical and Hamilton and she sings some of the songs sometimes and it's so entrancing especially when she's singing as Circe from EPIC or like rapping Guns And Ships or singing as Angelica Schuyler or something.

Sgdfhfgjghslgaghslhgggsl we play Mario Kart a lot and tease eachother about it and it's really fun and also I get to lay in her arms most of the time while playing Mario Kart too so that's very yippee

[radfemsiren]

Categories in my mind:

5, 7, saint paddies day, Thursdays, orange, March, June, bloopers, cropping a shirt with a hair tie, rolling down a grass hill, hot weather with a cool breeze, water parks, PTA park events and awkward hackey sack games, the flip flop is going to catch on your bike pedal so you slow down, summer reading list (specifically the book Frindle), laughing at the bizarre garbage at a beach clean up, heat and play

2, 4, February, peppermint coffee, Monday , blue and periwinkle, the feel of crunching snow cone ice, January, New Year’s resolutions, Pam Beasley’s pastel wardrobe from season 1-2, children’s books about ballerina mice, finding an ancient velvet hair scrunchy in your winter jacket pocket, Zoella type YouTubers late Christmas hauls, watching the hobbit and developing a crush on Orlando Bloom, peeling birchbark, bottle episodes/three episode arcs, calmness and cold

9, 8, 6 December, November, no nightlight just a fully dark room to sleep in, Saturday, goodbyes, season finale/ finale episodes, string lights on a porch, krampus, ghost and paranormal videos on YouTube, Christmas episodes, silent hill, wearing fuzzy pajama pants in a gas station at midnight, the night sky above a desert, muffled family arguments while the cousins play Mario kart, finality and darkness

10, 11, 1, 3, orange, Halloween, Fridays, sidewalk at night in front of a friends house before a party starts, Regular Show Halloween specials, beer, cider, campfire smoke, fantastic Mr fox, the scholastic book fair, running into a teacher at a grocery store, maple flavored oatmeal, Japanese stationary that looks and smells like pastries, Coraline theories, The Witches movie with Angelica Hudson, how to become a Wiccan videos on YouTube, whimsy and magic (the superior category)

[asinnersalibius]

Lost

"I think I'm lost."

"What do you mean?" Angelica laughed, "You're at home, what do you mean you're lost."

Estrella sighed. "Inside."

"Ah."

"Yeah." Angelica sighed, a long drawn out, tired sound, "Oh Estrella, my love. Did you wander too far?" Estrella nodded even though it was silent it was understood. "Where did you go?"

"I don't know."

"My love, where is your light?"

"I don't know."

"Alright my love, where are you not?"

[And] This gave pause because as lost as she felt Estrella never thought to wonder where she wasn't.

"I'm not at home, or outside, it's dark here."

"Dark you say, the dark can be haunting. What else?" Estrella sighed, standing up somewhere dark.

"It's quiet, not in the silent kind of way though, it's uncomfortable, empty, there's too much space around me and it's colder than it is warm."

"Dark, quiet, and empty, it's cold and uncomfortable. Sounds a lot like home, doesn't it?" Estella choked but didn't reply, too afraid the hurt would sound too much like rage.

"Can you stand, my love?" Estrella nodded, slowly, finding a place to set her feet. "Why don't you walk around for a little while? Try one, just one first." Estrella took a step back, something in her trembling violently. "Foward, Estrella."

"I'm scared."

"That's okay."

"I can't."

"Then you should."

"Angelica!"

"Estrella." Estrella cried, something about putting one foot in front of the other terrified her more than staying in the dark. She tried to take a step forward and it hurt like something she never could've imagined, and she jumped back.

"I can't do it. I can't. I can't." For once, Angelica didn't respond. "Angelica? Angelica where'd you'd go?"

"I'm here." Estrella exhaled in relief,

"I can't do it."

"Try again."

"But I can't. Angelica, I can't. I can't do it." Something small and gold began to float about, no bigger than a firefly, it swirled as if it was dancing. Estrella took a step towards it, and it fluttered away, before long Estrella was on a chase, the little golden finch always three steps ahead and then it was gone, and the world was dark again. Estrella cried, looking around solemnly, feeling more lost than she arrived, but somewhere in the distance, some 50 feet ahead was a brighter place than she was. She moved there without thinking about her feet and in that little circle was a grass so green it didn't seem real. "Angelica?"

"Yes, my love?" She sounded tired now,

"I think I did it." Estrella smiled, "I did it."

"I'm so proud of you my love."

"It's not a lot, just a space, but it's better than the dark."

"It's better than the dark." She smiled, curling up in her place high in the sky, "That it is."

[yr-obedt-cicero]

any good hamdad anecdotes? i've heard of a few and they're always really cute

Absolutely. I'll spare you the sad ones.

The time Hamilton chose crabs over Angelica's pie and teasingly reassured her it wasn't because they moved it (Hamilton was prone to forgetfulness, it's likely Angelica taunted him about this);

Give my love to Angelica & assure [her] that I did not leave her pye out of resentment for her having changed its original destination; but because it was impossible to take it with us without abandonning a basket of Crabs which was sent to my care for Mrs. Rensselaer. It has always been my creed that a lady’s pleasure is of more importance than a Gentleman’s, so the pye gave way to the Crabs. It was a nice question, but after mature reflection I decided in favour of the latter. Perhaps as a Creole I had some sympathy with them.

(source — Alexander Hamilton to Elizabeth Hamilton, [1801])

Three days before the duel, Hamilton laid out under a tree with all his kids until it got dark;

The next day, Sunday, before the heat of the day, [Alexander Hamilton] walked with his wife over all the pleasant scenes of his retreat. On his return to the house, his family being assembled, he read the morning service of the Episcopal church. The intervening hours till evening were spent in kind companionship; and at the close of the day, gathering around him his children under a near tree, he laid with them upon the grass until the stars shone down from the heavens.

(source — Life of Alexander Hamilton, by John Church Hamilton)

While preparing for the Grange, camping out in the yard reminded Hamilton of his war days and he told the kids about war stories;

[D]uring the erection of [Hamilton’s] rural dwelling, he caused a tent to be pitched, and camp-stools to be placed under the shading trees. He measured distances, as though measuring the frontage of a camp; and then, as he walked along, his step seemed to fall naturally into the cadenced pace of a practiced drill. It was his delight in his hours of relaxation to return to scenes and incidents of his early life, when fighting for this country, and praying for its protection.

(source — Life of Alexander Hamilton, by John Church Hamilton)

Hamilton often slept besides his kids, and found amusement in playing with Holly;

I am here my beloved Betsy with my two little boys John & William who will be my bed fellows to night. The day I have passed was as agreeable as it could be in your absence; but you need not be told how much difference your presence would have made […] The remainder of the Children were well yesterday. Eliza pouts and plays, and displays more and more her ample stock of Caprice.

(source — Alexander Hamilton to Elizabeth Hamilton, [March 20, 1803])

Hamilton used to sing while Angelica played the piano;

Hamilton's gentle nature rendered his house a joyous one to his children and friends. He accompanied His daughter Angelica when she played and sang the piano. His intercourse with his children was always affectionate and confiding, which excited in them a corresponding confidence and devotion.

(source — Reminiscences of James A. Hamilton)

Hamilton used to take James on carriage rides when he had to travel places and gave him advice;

While we were living at the Grange I used to drive out with my father, and often accompanied him when he dined with his friend Gouverneur Morris. During one of these drives, soon after my conversation with my uncle, I told my father what I had learned, and made the suggestion which Mr. Morton had requested. He replied without hesitation, ‘‘No, my son; if I received a part of the profits of that business, I should be responsible for it; as I cannot attend to it, I cannot consent to receive what I do not earn.’’

(source — Reminiscences of James A. Hamilton)

Hamilton often helped his sons with their speeches, and once gave James a thesis on discretion as a subtle hint he was a bit too talkative;

The first impression as to the words underscored was, that I might need the Thesis as an exercise. Immediate subsequent events of the most painful character induced the belief that it was intended as an admonition that I wanted that ‘homely virtue,’ discretion, of which the thesis treated. How far I have profited by the admonition this relation of the errors of my life may prove. The reader may perhaps say that in attempting to write these reminiscences I have shown that the admonition was thrown away.

(source — Reminiscences of James A. Hamilton)

Hamilton was overjoyed at Philip's performance at his last oration, that he said he was the only one who could have surpassed him;

The eldest child was a son, on whom his hopes rested with a confidence that would not have been disappointed. Distinguished for genius and elevated feeling from his earliest years, this youth had recently graduated at Columbia College. So satisfied was his father with the display of talent in an oration delivered by him at the end of his academic career, that he re-marked: ‘‘I could not have been contented to have been surpassed by any other than my son;’’ and never was he more delighted than with the gratulations which poured in upon him on this occasion.

(source — History of the republic of the United States of America, as traced in the writings of Alexander Hamilton and of his contemporaries, by John Church Hamilton)

He used to play marbles and fly kites with his younger boys;

What a home Hamilton's lovely nature made to all its inmates! By his family he was adored; the humblest member of his household seemed contented with his lot, as he walked forth at early morn to direct their labors with kind greetings and kinder smiles. “Would not this be well?” “Might not this be better?” were the terms of his guidance. [...] Their education now was under his frequent supervision; their course of reading was indicated, and their themes corrected. Every source of usefulness and virtuous pleasure he would cultivate with severer studies—music; (he sang a little)—the graces and the arts; with his younger boys he played marbles and flew kites, making merry pastime.

(source — History of the republic of the United States of America, as traced in the writings of Alexander Hamilton and of his contemporaries, by John Church Hamilton)

Hamilton was too anxious about letting Philip travel on his own, so he barely let him travel for very long and had a friend keep an eye on him;

As my eldest son Philip, who lately graduated, will pass through Providence on his way to Boston, I give him this line barely to introduce him to you; since the time I have prescribed for his return will not permit the stay of more than a day at Providence.

(source — Alexander Hamilton to Jeremiah Olney, [August 12, 1800])

The night before the duel, Hamilton slept besides John C.;

I recall a single incident about it with full clearness. [...] The day before the duel I was sitting in a room, when, at a slight noise, I turned around and saw my father in the doorway, standing silently there and looking at me with a most sweet and beautiful expression of countenance. It was full of tenderness, and without any of the business pre-occupation he sometimes had. “John,” he said, when I had discovered him, “won't you come and sleep with me to-night?” His voice was frank as if he had been my brother instead of my father. That night I went to his bed, and in the morning very early he awakened me, and taking my hands in his palms, all four hands extended, he said and told me to repeat the Lord's Prayer. Seventy-five years have since passed over my head, and I have forgotten many things, but not that tender expression when he stood looking at me in the door nor the prayer we made together the morning before the duel. I do not so well recollect seeing him lie upon his deathbed, though I was there.

(source — Interview with John Church Hamilton, reminiscences about his father)

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure there's more.

[cupnoodlefrog]

The uncommon sound of Chise laughing drew his attention away. He found her across the far side of the yard, kneeling on a patch of grass dotted with bits of white. Ruth sat beside her in his canid form, a crown of tiny early spring daisies atop his head. Elias could see by the Grim’s posture that Ruth was indulging the girl at most, and was not at all a fan of the addition of flowers. It was actually quite amusing, seeing Chise pester him like that. It reminded him of a similar occasion when he had witnessed Angelica’s daughter dressing up her mother’s Familiar in doll clothes.

Seeing Chise enjoying herself so much made a warm thing grow in his chest, and Elias found himself smiling with her...

[stagewitch]

Correspondences Running Master List (P-R)

Past Life Recall - snowflake obsidian, carnelian

Passion - carnelian, tomato

Peace/Harmony - dulse, eryngo, gardenia, lavender, loosestrife, meadowsweet, morning glory, myrtle, olive, passion flower, pennyroyal, skullcap, vervain, violet, prehnite, carnelian

Perseverance - snowflake obsidian, honey calcite, 

Positivity - celestite

Power - carnation, club moss, devil’s shoestring, ebony, gentian, ginger, rowan, carnelian

Prophetic Dreams - bracken, buchu, cinquefoil, heliotrope, jasmine, marigold, mimosa, mugwort, onion, rose, blue calcite 

Prosperity - alfalfa, alkanet, ahnond, ash, banana, benzion, nuts, oak, tomato, tulip, thyme

Protection - acacia, african violet, agrimony, ague root, aloe, althea, alyssum, amaranth, anemone, angelica, anise, arbutus, asafoetida, ash, balm of gilead, bamboo, barley, basil, bay, bean, wood betony, birch, bittersweet, blackberry, bladderwrack, bloodroot, blueberry, bodhi, boneset, briony, bromeliad, broom, buckthorn, burdock, cactus, calamus, caraway, carnation, cascara sagrada, castor, cedar, celandine, chrysanthemum, cinchona, cinnamon, cinquefoil, clove, clover, club moss, coconut, black cohosh, cotton, cumin, curry, cyclamen, cypress, datura, devil’s bit, devil’s shoestring, dill, dogwood, dragon’s blood, ebony, elder, elecenpane, eucalyptus, euphorbia, fennel, fern, feverwort, figwort, flax, fleabane, foxglove, frankincense, galangal, garlic, geranium, ginseng, gorse, gourd, grain, grass, hazel, heather, holly, honeysuckle, horehound, houseleek, hyacinth, hyssop, irish moss, ivy, juniper, kava-kava, lady’s slipper, larch, larkspur, lavender, leek, lettuce, lilac, lily, lime, linden, liquidambar, loosestrife, lotus, lucky hand, mallow, mandrake, marigold, masterwort, meadow rue, mimosa, mint, mistletoe, molluka, mugwort, mulberry, mullein, mustard, myrrh, nettle, norfolk island pine, oak, olive, onion, orris, papaya, papyrus, parsley, pennyroyal, peony, pepper, pepper tree, periwinkle, pilot weed, pimpernel, pine, plantain, plum, primrose, purslane, quince, radish, ragwort, raspberry, rattlesnake root, rhubarb, rice, roots, rose, rosemary, rowan, sage, st. john’s wort, sandalwood, slow, snapdragon, southernwood, spanish moss, squill, tamarisk, thistle, thyme, ti, toadflax, tomato, tormentil, tulip, turnip, valerian, venus’ flytrap, vervain, violet, wax plant, willow, wintergreen, witch hazel, wolf’s bane, woodruff, yerba santa, yucca, black tourmaline, 

Psychic Powers - acacia, althea, bay, bistort, bladderwrack, borage, buchu, celery, cinnamon, citron, elecampane, eyebright, flax, galangal, grass, honeysuckles, lemongrass, mace, marigold, mastic, mugwort, peppermint, rose, rowan, saffron, star anise, stillengia, sumbul, thyme, uva ursa, wormwood, yarrow, yerba santa 

Public Speaking - carnelian, sodalite

Purification - alkanet, anise, gum arabic, asafoetida, avens, bay, benzoin, wood betony, bloodroot, broom, cedar, chamomile, coconut, copal, euphorbia, fennel, horseradish, hyssop, iris, lavender, lemon balm, lemon, lemon verbena, mimosa, parsley, peppermint, pepper tree, rosemary, sagebrush, shallot, holy thistle, thyme, tobacco, turmeric, valerian, vervain, yucca. Bloodstone, black tourmaline,

Rain (to cause to fall) - bracken, cotton, fern, heather, pansy, rice, toadstool

Renewal - lemon balm

[chronicbeans]

The Hall of Addiction

A "Tales from the Iolite Hospital" story

TW: Mentions of Substance Abuse (Drugs), Smoking, Alcoholism, Behavioral Addictions (Gambling, Television/Internet Consumption, Maladaptive Daydreaming), Denial

It is kind of odd how this place has a "Hall of Addiction" and no psychiatrists or psychologists to care for us. They have kind of just... Abandoned us here. Even stranger is how I got here. One second, I am driving on my way to work, next, I am here. Well, I was outside the hospital, lying on the red grass... Same difference.

I don't deserve to be here, either! I am NOT an addict. How can one be addicted to daydreaming? Everyone daydreams! They said it themselves! This "Maladaptive Daydreaming" they speak of is not an official diagnosis, so that means that I CANNOT be addicted to such a thing. I may daydream heavily, but that is not an addiction.

I wake up in the bed they provided me at the very end of the Hall of Addiction. I am, apparently, on the "Behavioral" side of the hall, alongside the gamblers, telly addicts, Internet addicts, and more. On the other side, there are the addicts who are addicted to substances, including alcohol, cigarettes, cigars, drugs and the likes. The people on the other side of the hall are considered to be on the "Smoking, Alcohol, and Other Drugs" side. I do not like associating with any of my peers in this hall. I am not their peer. I am not an addict. They only get in the way of my fantasizing.

I cannot find the motivation to get out of bed for an hour. It is not that I do not look forward to the day. Far from it. It shall be a day of great fantasy. No, I just get distracted by the most marvelous daydream of being a king that rules over the land of... whatever the name of the land shall be. I have money, power, love, and even a few little children of my own. I don't notice the hour going by. In fact, it is only once Rick, one of the addicts from the Smoking section, comes in to tell me that it is breakfast that I get up.

During breakfast, I barely touch my food. Everyone is too loud, which ruins my concentration on my dream. I decide to take my food to my room, where I stare at it as I imagine that I am the king at a banquet, where I give toast to my lovely bride. I only take a few bites, before I become too engrossed to continue eating. I stand, acting out my lovely dream. I say "To good fortune, health, and love for all in my kingdom!" as I pace around my room, pretending to give toast to all the knights, nobles, and peasants that came to my feast.

I completely forget about lunch, then just barely make it to dinner. Hours go by as I swim in my mind. I am not an addict. This is perfectly normal. Everyone is like this. I eat a few pieces of meat from my stew, hearing Angelica from the gambling section mutter "Is he alright? He is so skinny..." as she points to me. Someone replies "He is still in denial. He says he has no problem. He daydreams so much, he wastes hours of his life. He forgets to eat, sleep, or even shower. Poor guy... he hasn't even gotten to step one of recovering. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. You cannot help a man that doesn't want it, though, Angelica." I snap, turning my head as I yell at the liars "It is rude to talk behind a person's back, you know?! I am NOT like you all! I am NOT an addict! I HAVE NO PROBLEM!"

Then, I stand, storming back to my room without a word. I start my pacing, again, returning to the comforting hold of my fantasy. Today, it was being royalty. Who knows what I shall come up with tomorrow? Shall I be a mad scientist, experimenting with my creation? Shall I be an artist at a museum? Or will I be a detective solving a murder mystery? Anything is all right, as long as I am not me. I shall live my life as anyone other than me, because if I am not me, I can do whatever I want.

I am not an addict.

[fruit-teeth]

Chronicles of Love and War (chapter 27)

“Do you ever feel like there’s…I don’t know, multiple versions of you?” Sniper asked out of the blue.

Scout paused, caught off guard by the question. After a moment, he replied, “What?”

Sniper went on, “Sometimes it’s like…I’m both the overexcited dog and the owner that’s trying to keep it on its leash. I dunno how else to explain it, really, but…yeah.”

Bronislava cast a glance towards Sniper, raising her head on her elbow as she sat in the grass. “Why you think like this?”

Sniper gave a little shrug. “Well, it’s just…really, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling about…everything,”

“Oh! About your dad getting, like…stoned?” Scout asked, unable to think of a better word.

“Scout!” Spy hissed.

“What? That’s what happened!” Scout insisted.

Sniper just shook his head. “That’s not what I mean, but…that’s part of it, honestly. I feel like I'm suddenly hit with something I never expected, and...half of me wants to be excited, but part of me is terrified.”

“About your little brother?” Angelica asked, voice quiet.

Sniper paused, before confirming, “Yep.” He then squinted at Angelica. “Are you supposed to be here?”

“No, but I came anyway!” Angelica replied, and she smiled at him. “Look, I’m sure you’re gonna be fine…I saw that little baby before we left, he’s so darn cute!”

Sniper couldn't help but smile a little at that. “Yeah…I know,”

Bronislava patted him on the shoulder, and she then glanced up to where Lar-Nah stood just a few feet away. Lar-Nah stood there in silence, her back turned to everyone as she stared out at the horizon.

Bronislava asked her after a few seconds, “What is it?”

Lar-Nah turned around, as if yanked out of a trance. “Are you talking to me?”

When Bronislava nodded, Lar-Nah just shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just looking for the wizard.”

“Merasmus will be here soon,” Spy assured. “He and Helen had to get Olivia and Lucy to a safe place.”

Just as Spy spoke, Merasmus suddenly appeared from behind the bushes, staff in hand. He paused before the group, observing them for a moment.

“There’s not very many of you…” he remarked. “Where is everyone?”

“Defending the base,” Spy explained. “You’ll be happy to know that Soldier is back at the base with the others.”

Merasmus grunted. “I see…well, let’s go on our way, then,” she suddenly paused, noticing Angelica. “What is she doing here?”

“I’m tagging along!” Angelica explained, bending down to pick up her tote bag.

“I don’t think that’s—“ Merasmus started to say, but Spy cut him off.

“We already had this conversation,” Spy clarified. “She’s going with us. Is that all right?”

Merasmus looked like she wanted to argue, but sighed in defeat. “Well…all right then. Just stay out of trouble!” He then reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief.

“What is that?” Sniper asked, stepping close to try and get a look at the cloth.

“It’s a sample of Bea’s blood, I collected it from Helen’s driveway,” Merasmus explained. “I’m going to use it so we can track her location, it will make things much easier.”

Pyro stayed beside Merasmus, watching with bated breath as odd, light orbs rose from the blood stain. The orbs drifted up from the handkerchief, spreading out to form a path of light that led up through the scant grass and desert.

Merasmus stepped forward, taking the first step on the path. “This way!”

Together, the group of eight followed the path on foot. It took some walking at first, but after some back and forth, they convinced Merasmus to teleport them to the end of the light's path.

Dropping to the ground, Scout grunted, “Ugh! Why’s my head spinning so much?”

“I warned you that would happen!” Merasmus sighed. “Magic teleportation can have that effect on you weak little mortals…”

“Well, we’re here, now…” Angelica trailed off, looking around. “Where the heck are we?”

Before them sat a large building, illuminated by lights. Spy squinted, taking a few steps forward and seeing a sign out front. “Kindred Soul Medical Clinic…” he read out loud, realization sweeping over him.

“What is it?” Sniper asked. “What is this place?”

“This is the same medical clinic where Fred was being held,” Spy looked around quickly. “But…why would Bea come here?”

“Maybe someone brought her here,” Bronislava suggested, trying to be helpful.

Merasmus considered the prospect, before shrugging. “Well…its no use standing out here like this, we should go in.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Spy turned around, making a face. “This is a hospital! They probably have a security force and the local police on speed-dial…we need to plot this out carefully.”

Merasmus scoffed. “Oh, please! I’ve gotten into hospitals plenty of times, without any planning! Let’s just pretend that one of us is deathly ill…” she scanned the group for a moment, before extending a finger in Lar-Nah’s direction. “You! Pretend you have a fatal bladder infection!”

“No!” Lar-Nah exclaimed, insulted.

“Let me do it!” Scout waved his hand around. “I can do a killer ‘guy dying from getting stabbed’ impression!”

Angelica gasped and pulled Jeremy close to her. “No! Honey, no…”

Pyro suddenly nudged Spy, mumbling something and gesturing towards the building. Spy looked to where Pyro was pointing, his eyes landing on a parking garage attached to the hospital.

“Actually,” Spy piped up, getting everyone’s attention. “Let’s just sneak in through that parking garage. That’ll likely be much easier,” he looked at Pyro, giving them a grateful nod. “Thank you, Pyro.”

Pyro just gave a thumbs up as they followed the rest of the group towards the parking garage, making their way inside.

At the same time, Olivia watched the clouds and scenery pass by through the car window. Beside her, Lucy sat in silence, her hands turning over a small toy rubber duck, which she had brought with her to their play date.

This day had derailed in a way Olivia had not even thought possible. Not only did everything get interrupted by one of her late father’s employees breaking into her home, but she’d seen Lucy break a grown man’s arm. Lucy had a power she could not explain, that much was certain, and Olivia did not know what else to do except fear it. She loved her friend — but she did not know what could be lurking beneath her sweet, gentle surface.

The car slowed to a stop, taking Olivia out of her thoughts. She looked up, glancing around.

“Where are we?” She asked, looking at her mother in the driver’s seat.

Helen shut the car off and undid her seat belt. “This is one of Saxton Hale’s cottages. He has quite a few that he barely uses, so he’s going to let both of you stay out here for a while.”

As the girls stepped out of the car, Olivia took a moment to observe the area. It looked rather remote, with just a cottage sitting beside a still, quiet pond. The grass was tall, looking as though no one had really kept up with it for a while. The cottage itself, though, looked beautiful and comfortable.

“We’re gonna be here by ourselves?” Lucy asked, nervousness creeping into her voice.

Helen closed the driver’s side door behind her, coming to stand beside Lucy and Olivia. “Of course not, Mr. Bidwell will be looking after you. I have to go back and deal with some things for now…”

The door to the cottage swung open, and Bidwell stepped out, closing the door behind him. He walked down the steps and waved at the trio, beckoning them towards him. “Come in! Everything is ready for you,”

As Helen led the girls to the house, she took a moment to stop Bidwell on the way in.

“Whatever you do,” she spoke in a low voice so the children wouldn’t hear her. “Make sure Lucy is kept calm. It will take too long to explain why, but you must be very careful.”

Bidwell just nodded, knowing better than to press the issue. “Will do. I’m not great with children, but I’ll try my best,”

“Very good,” Helen sighed.

Olivia paused and looked around the cottage, frowning at just how gloomy the place looked on the inside. The colors were dull, aside from a bizarrely detailed painting on the living room wall that depicted Saxton Hale battling a saber-toothed tiger in the middle of a mountain range.

“Hale lives here?” Olivia asked, making a face.

“No, he doesn’t,” Bidwell explained, entering the living room behind her. “He just owns this property…I think he used to come down here, but he rarely does anymore.”

He then grabbed the remote control and used it to turn on the TV, sighing in relief when there wasn’t any static. “There we go — here, you guys can watch TV,” he passed the remote to Olivia, who hopped up on the sofa. Lucy climbed up beside her, curling up close for some comfort.

“Thank you, Bidwell,” Helen murmured, turning her attention to Olivia. She fixed her bow gently, and then kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you later, darling…you know my number in case anything goes wrong.”

“Okay,” Olivia hummed in reply, watching as her mother took a moment to fix Lucy’s hair as well.

“Is my daddy coming back?” Lucy asked Helen, voice quivering.

“Of course he is,” Helen assured, rising up. “Everything will be all right, I promise…”

After Helen left, the girls continued to quietly watch a soap opera on the TV. Bidwell hovered around them, feeling anxious about leaving them alone but also not knowing what else to do with them. He truly had no idea what to do with children, aside from knowing that they enjoyed television.

It wasn’t long after Olivia changed the channel to a nature documentary when there was a rumbling noise in the driveway outside. Lucy tilted her head towards the window and squinted at the sound.

“What’s that?” She asked, fumbling with the edge of a beige throw pillow.

“I don’t know…probably just someone driving by,” Bidwell tried to reassure, although he knew that was odd as this place was rather remote. The noise stopped after a moment, but shortly afterwards, the door to the cottage swung wide open.

Olivia and Lucy both glanced up towards the direction of the front door, and Bidwell quickly went to investigate. “Stay right there!”

He made his way to the front foyer, but to his surprise, it was not an intruder at all: instead, Saxton Hale himself stood there.

“Saxton?” Bidwell asked, though he shook himself. “Uh— Mr. Hale, what are you doing here?”

Saxton waved him off. “Oh, no need for that! I heard from Helen that you would be here, so I figured I would drop by…” he took a moment to glance around the cottage. “My God, I need to get this place decorated better! I haven’t been here in years…”

“I thought you were on leave,” Bidwell pointed out. “That’s what I was told, anyway!”

Saxton shrugged, walking past him and into the living room. “I’m fine, I’ve caught up on the sleep, mostly!”

Olivia peeked over the edge of the couch, spotting Saxton and jumping up. “Saxton! What are you doing here?”

“Hello, Olivia! I own this place, I just wanted to stop by!” Saxton walked over and patted Olivia on the head, before noticing Lucy. “Why, hello! You must be the wizard’s daughter,”

Lucy sat up, smiling shyly. “Yeah, that’s me!”

Saxton reached out and carefully shook Lucy’s small hand in his large one. “G’day, nice to meet you! Y’know, I owe that wizard my life…I was tormented by nightmares, my head was full of some bloody curse, but he fixed me right up!”

“Oh!” Lucy nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, my daddy is great at that!”

Bidwell stood close by, watching as Saxton interacted with the children in such a gentle manner. There was something…different about him. Saxton typically wasn’t this down to earth with children, at least from what Bidwell had recalled seeing in the past.

Saxton stood up straight after a moment, glancing towards the TV. “What are you watching?”

“It’s about spiders,” Olivia explained, pointing to the documentary on the TV. “It’s kinda boring…”

Saxton scoffed. “Spiders? Actually, I might have something better right here in this cottage…”

He stepped out of the room for a moment, walking down the adjacent hallway to one of the bedrooms. He returned a moment later, carrying a stack of board games. “There they are! I knew this was where I decided to store these…”

Lucy leaned over the arm of the couch in interest as Saxton sat the board games down on the coffee table. “Wow! I’ve never seen games like this before!”

“Me neither!” Olivia agreed, sliding down from the couch to kneel beside the table and get a better look at the games.

“That’s because these are from when I was a boy,” Saxton explained. “Many of these aren’t even on the market anymore! See anything you like?”

Lucy slipped down off the couch to join Olivia, and Olivia decided, “How about this one?” She pointed to a board game titled, ‘Save The Babies!’.

“Have at it!” Saxton opened the box up and took the pieces out of it, setting them down in front of the girls. “Here’s the map, and the babies, the weapons, and the beast! You want me to read you the instructions?”

“I can do it!” Olivia insisted, quickly picking up the instruction manual and flipping through it.

“Good, I’ll leave you to it!” Saxton hummed, standing up and heading to the kitchen. “I hope the tap water here is in good shape…”

Bidwell followed after him, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottled water. “Here, I tasted some of the tap water and I don’t trust it.”

Saxton turned around, accepting the bottled water. “Ah, thank you! That’s considerate…”

As Saxton drank from the water bottle, Bidwell took a moment to lean against the fridge, watching him. Finally, he asked, “What’s going on?”

“Hrm?” Saxton cast him a confused took, the water bottle looking minuscule in his large hand. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…why did you really come here?” Bidwell wanted to know. “Was it just to…i don’t know, spend some time away from the office? After your whole ‘nightmare’ situation?”

Saxton looked a little sad. “Do you not want me here?”

“What? No, no!” Bidwell assured quickly. “No, it’s great you’re here, actually! But…is everything okay?”

“Hm…well…” Saxton got quiet, setting the bottle down on the counter. “I actually did want to…talk.”

“About what?” Bidwell asked, taking a step closer.

There was a slight pause as Saxton tried to find his words. Finally, he spoke: “Did…did Helen tell you what I saw in those nightmares?”

Bidwell thought for a moment. “Just that they were about death and destruction. Why?”

Saxton took a long breath. “Well…that wasn’t all I saw…I wasn’t completely truthful with her.”

Bidwell leaned forward slightly, eyebrow raised. “Oh? What else did you see?”

Saxton’s voice faltered, before he admitted, “Memories. Memories of…when I was a child. Things I hadn’t thought about in years, times when I…when I felt sad but had to pretend I didn’t feel that way,”

“Anything specific? Bidwell prompted, concern in his voice.

“Yes, actually…” Saxton closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again, looking back at Bidwell. “Do you promise not to tell anyone?”

Bidwell gave a quick nod. “Of course.”

“All right,” Saxton cleared his throat, his voice dropping lower. “After all the destruction, all the fighting animals, after everything would calm down in each dream, I would always see the same scene: me, as a twelve year old, going on a trip with my father…”

Bidwell pulled up one of the kitchen chairs, sitting down carefully so he could listen to Saxton continue to speak.

“We went to a hotel that was a bit out of the way,” Saxton went on. “Out near a wooded area. We were there for…I don’t quite remember, some business venture my father had to do. When my father was busy, I went on a walk through the woods. It was dark, and…” he swallowed, visibly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “That was when I saw her,”

“Saw who?” Bidwell wanted to know.

Saxton struggled to speak, before saying, “The unicorn.”

Bidwell stared up at Saxton, certain he’d misheard him. “The…the what?”

“The unicorn,” Saxton repeated. “I know it sounds crazy, but I saw her! She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen…she was friendly, her eyes were strangely human…” he looked like he was about to tear up as he recalled his encounter with the creature. “Her horn, it was magnificent…she was radiant. I told her she was radiant, and she understood me. I swear, she understood me! I pet her mane, and it felt like silk…”

Bidwell watched Saxton’s face as he described the unicorn. It truly seemed like this had been a magical memory for Saxton…however, Bidwell had a sick feeling that this story was about to take a bad turn.

Saxton pulled himself out of that part of the memory. “Anyway…I spent some time admiring her, but…I had to leave. I said goodbye to her — I swear, she said goodbye to me back! I went back to the hotel, and when my father returned, I told him about the unicorn…” his smile faded, and he looked down to his feet. “My father was very angry with me. He asked me why I let the unicorn get away, why I let her leave. I did not understand what he meant, and he told me that unicorn horns were very rare trinkets. He scolded me for not killing her and taking her horn…”

Noticing that Saxton looked visibly upset again, Bidwell pointed out, “But you’ve killed animals before, even rare ones! Why should a unicorn be any different?”

“Because…!” Saxton sucked in a breath, trying to find his words again. “Because she was different! I was different back then — I was a boy, I was a child. She saw me — she looked into my eyes, and she truly saw me. I know she did…I know it! But my father did not understand when I told him this. I went to bed that night, and so did he…or so I thought.”

There was a moment of silence again. Saxton shook his head, eyes pressed shut again. “Why did it feel bad?” He asked nobody in particular. “Why does it still feel bad? I’m an adult! Adults don’t do this! Adults don’t think about things that happened when they were just children, they don’t wish for a time when they felt safe, they don’t cry about…”

“Hey,” Bidwell stood up, taking Saxton’s hand into his. His palm was very warm. “No, no, it’s okay. I do all of those things, too. We all do,”

Saxton paused, thinking very hard for a moment. Finally, he took another deep breath and continued his story. “The next morning, my father woke me up. His hands had blood on them, and…” his body twitched, fighting back the emotion, unable to speak.

“Did he have the horn?” Bidwell prompted, still holding onto Saxton’s hand.

Saxton just nodded, and he covered his face with his free hand. “You must think I’m pathetic, getting so bloody upset about this,” he murmured, horribly embarrassed.

“No, no, hey,” Bidwell reached for his other hand, taking it in his own so he could look at Saxton’s face. “I don’t think that. I don’t think that one bit.”

Saxton had a tear rolling down his face, and he looked as though he wanted to wipe it away but he didn’t. “Really? I’ve never told anyone about this…”

Bidwell smiled at him a little. “Well, I’m really glad you told me, you know…and…I think you should know it wasn’t your fault, and that it’s okay to feel sad about it still.”

Saxton smiled back at him, though his face trembled with the effort of holding his tears back. “Thank you,” he managed to say. “I…I hadn’t thought about all this in years, but…that curse brought it all up to the surface.”

“I understand,” Bidwell assured him, still holding onto his hands.

A moment of quiet passed between them, until Saxton spoke up again. “I still have it.”

Bidwell looked back up at him. “Have what? The horn?”

Saxton nodded. “Yes. I hid it, here in this cottage. My father tried to get me to sell it, but…I could never bring myself to.”

“Maybe you could go back to that hotel,” Bidwell suggested. “To the woods that are right near it, and you could bury the horn there.”

Saxton shook his head. “No, no…that place doesn’t exist anymore. The woods were bulldozed to make the hotel larger.”

Bidwell sucked his lips into his mouth, saddened but not at all surprised to hear this. “…I see.”

Saxton pulled his hands away from Bidwell’s to roughly wipe his own eyes. “Anyway: um…thank you, for…listening to me.”

Bidwell gave him another gentle smile. “No problem. Really, I’m…glad you told me.”

However, as Saxton composed himself and went to the living room to check on the girls, Bidwell couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was going on. Or, at the very least, that things weren’t going to ever be the same between him and his boss.

Meanwhile, the search party had managed to sneak their way into the hospital. After slipping through the parking garage and into an elevator, Merasmus peeked out into the hallway first to check and see if the coast was clear.

“Where do you think she is?” Sniper asked, poking out behind him. “I don’t see the lights anymore…”

Merasmus squinted in thought. “I’m not sure…”

Pyro suddenly scurried forward, pointing to the floor. Sure enough, bits of light led down the adjacent hallway, where a large sign on the wall said, ‘KEEP OUT’.

“Sorry, but no,” Spy addressed the sign, looking around both ways before following the others down the hallway. As he peeked down the hallway, he remarked, “This area mostly looks abandoned…should we take a look in one of these rooms?”

Pyro walked to one of the doors and tugged the handle, only to realize it was locked. Spy dug around in his pocket for the lockpick. “Here, let me get it,”

“No, I have an unlocking spell!” Merasmus piped up. She walked over to the door and tapped her fingers against it, but nothing happened. Frowning, she tried again. “Oh, come on! Foul beast, unlock!”

Suddenly, Bronislava became aware of a sound coming from down the hallway. It sounded like sobbing, and it seemed to be coming from another room that was further away. Quickly, she got up and walked to the door, pulling the handle. Upon realizing it was unlocked, she turned to look at the others and gestured to them.

Sniper approached, being the first to look over Bronislava’s shoulder and into the room. What the two saw caused them both to pause: laying on the floor, weeping and seemingly hand-cuffed to the wall, was a woman. She was a petite, dark-haired woman, and she was wearing some sort of long tunic. There was blood on the floor next to her as well as on her back.

“Oh, my god!” Sniper managed to exclaim after a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. Upon hearing him, the woman looked up at him and Bronislava with wild, tear-filled eyes.

“You have to help me!” She sputtered, chest heaving. “Those horrible men — they took my wings! Please, I can’t die here!”

Hearing the commotion, Merasmus rushed into the room, stopping to examine the woman. His brow furrowed when he noticed her handcuffs, his fingers tracing them.

“These are the same kind of handcuffs Cynthia gave me,” he realized. “They stop whoever is in them from using magic….”

“Please!” The woman urged him, getting his attention again.

Merasmus shook himself, and then set about freeing the woman. “Yes — here!”

As the woman slipped out of her handcuffs and struggled to stand, Angelica went straight to her side to assist her. “Oh, you poor thing!” She exclaimed, looking her up and down. “What happened to you!?”

“They caught me,” the woman explained breathlessly. “They cut my wings off!”

“Wings?” Scout repeated, before noticing the wound on the woman’s back. “Whoa! You have wings!? What the hell are you?”

“Jeremy, come on,” Spy scolded him, before turning his attention to the woman. “Who did this, and where did they take your wings?”

The woman thought for a moment, before shakily pointing to another adjacent hallway marked, ‘LABS’. “There! That’s where they took them! They were two men, one had his arm in a big sack!”

“Thank you, we’ll go handle this!” Spy assured the woman, before drawing his gun and heading down the hallway. Scout, Sniper, Pyro and Bronislava followed close behind, preparing their weapons as well.

Spy threw open the first door he saw, and he was greeted to the sight of an eerie, pale green glow. After surveying the area for a few seconds, he snuck inside while motioning for the others to follow.

The lab was large and dark, and towards the back of the room sat a wide divider. The space which the divider was concealing seemed to be where the green glow was coming from, and the sound of conversation could be heard from there as well. Spy stood just outside the divider, listening to the conversation. It was two men, and as Spy peeked around the corner, he could see them standing over a pair of large, translucent wings. True to the woman’s word, one of the men had his arm in a sling.

“And you’re sure magic from a fairy’s wings can destroy the Corrupt?” The man with his arm in a sling asked.

The other man, dressed in a doctor’s uniform, only sighed. “One can only hope. I assume that’s where this demon you’re describing came from — it lines up perfectly with the Corrupt’s disappearance from its realm. But you see: demons are easily affected by light magic. And what do fairies have? Light magic! This can easily weaken a demon’s power, you know.”

The man with the sling pursed his lips together. “Hmm…I don’t know. Using magic to defeat more magic? You know that’s risky!”

“You know what’s even more risky?” The doctor asked, picking up a scalpel. “Letting demons run loose in this town! After we get enough light magic, we’ll use it to destroy this Corrupted One and then we will discard of it properly, along with the fairy herself!”

Spy suddenly stepped into their space, aiming his gun at both men. “I have a better idea.”

The men both jolted, and the doctor exclaimed, “Who are you!?”

“It doesn’t matter who I am,” Spy stepped forward, still pointing his gun. “Now, while I’d very much like to give that lovely lady her wings back, I’d like to ask you something first: where is Bea?”

There was a pause. Finally, the man with the sling lied, “I don’t know who that is!”

The doctor angrily shoved the other man. “Oh, damn it, Lazarus! I told you letting that woman in here was a bad idea!”

Annoyed, Lazarus shoved him back. “Don’t touch me, Handy! It’s not my fault you—!”

“Silence!” Spy shouted, cutting him off. “Where is she!?”

Lazarus reached into his own pocket, pulling out a gun and aiming it at Spy. “Like I’d tell you, you masked beast!”

“Masked beast!?” Spy repeated, offended. He fired at Lazarus, but Lazarus ducked and fired back, blowing a hole into the divider and just barely grazing Spy’s shoulder.

“Dad!” Scout yelped, running in and aiming in his own gun. Dr. Handy leapt in the way and collided with him, sending the gun across the floor.

Spy quickly snatched the gun and tossed it back to Scout, who wrestled his arm out from beneath Dr. Handy just long enough to be able to catch the gun without an issue. In a quick motion, Scout aimed the gun and fired once, nailing Dr. Handy in the shoulder.

Dr. Handy rolled backwards with a shriek, knocking over a medical tray of equipment and sending it clanking to the floor. Lazarus quickly aimed his gun at Scout, but froze up when Sniper seemingly came out of nowhere and pressed the nozzle of his gun against his head.

“Where is she?” Sniper asked, voice low.

“Who?” Lazarus asked, turning slowly to point his gun at Sniper in return, eyes locked on him.

“Don’t play dumb,” Spy came closer and pointed his gun at Lazarus as well. “Where is Bea?”

Trapped between two guns with only one weapon and a broken arm, Lazarus sucked his lips into his mouth and debated whether or not to tell the truth. Finally, he sighed. “All right. All right! You want the truth? She’s gone. She’s not here.”

“Where is she?” Spy asked again, voice a little more urgent.

Writhing in agony on the floor, Dr. Handy suddenly exclaimed, “For God’s sake, she went with the rest of the agents to that Mann Co. base! There, happy!?”

“What the hell!?” Lazarus hissed at Dr. Handy, infuriated that he was honest.

“The base?” Spy realized, his heart dropping. He whirled around, shouting at Scout, “Get to the nearest phone and call the base, now! Bea is on her way to the base as we speak!”

Scout sprinted towards a phone in the hallway, but suddenly, sirens rang out. The door to the lab slammed shut, mere inches from Scout’s face, causing him to shout. “Ah, goddamn it!”

Spy glanced over, seeing that Lazarus had hit a ‘panic’ button on the wall behind him. Lazarus only laughed, “The police will be on their way soon! That’s what you all get for sticking your noses where they don’t belong!”

Spy let out a yell, tackling Lazarus to the ground and beginning to wrestle with him. Dr. Handy struggled to his feet and tried to run to the door, only to be snatched up and shoved into one of the nearby trash cans by Bronislava.

“Why did door lock!?” She exclaimed, running over to the handle and tugging it.

“He put this place under lockdown, that’s why!” Scout grunted, spotting Dr. Handy in the garbage. He ran over to him and yanked him out by his collar, punching him once. “Where’s the freakin’ key!?”

Dr. Handy reeled from the punch, gasping out, “I’m not…telling you!”

In the other room across the hall, Merasmus easily blew the door off its hinges when the lockdown snapped it shut. Seeing that the lab doors were all shut as well, he quickly got up and made his way over there.

“Freeze, mortals!” He boomed, shoving his hand forward and blasting away that door just like he did the other one. The door flew across the room, smacking into Dr. Handy and pinning him flat against the garbage can again.

Ignoring Dr. Handy’s shrieks of terror, Merasmus marched up to where Spy and Lazarus were wrestling and scooped Lazarus up by the scruff of his coat like a kitten. “And just what do you think you’re doing at this hospital, you disgusting, silly man!?”

Lazarus shouted in pain when Merasmus jostled his broken arm. “Put me down, you freak!”

Merasmus eyed Lazarus’ broken arm, and she quickly put the pieces together. “…wait a second. You were the man who…!” She stopped herself, but Lazarus had already gotten a good idea of who Merasmus was as well.

“The demon child is your daughter!” Lazarus gasped, eyes going wide.

Merasmus eyed the fairy wings, and he realized what was Lazarus was plotting to do with them. Enraged, he hurled Lazarus against the wall, throwing so hard a crack appeared in it.

“We need to leave! Bea’s headed to the base, and she’s got help!” Sniper gasped out, stumbling to his feet.

Suddenly, there was shouting from the hallway, accompanied by the stomping of feet. Policemen filled the room, guns drawn, shouting for everyone to drop their weapons.

“You serious!?” Scout exclaimed. “This place ain’t even a real hospital! There’s some shady shit in here and you’re concerned about us!?”

“Shut your mouth!” One of the cops exclaimed, pointing his gun directly at Scout’s head.

In an instant, Angelica appeared behind the man with an extension cord. She wrapped it around his neck, yanking him to the ground and strangling him, forcing him to drop his gun. “You leave my son alone, pig!” She exclaimed, twisting around to slam her high heel down as hard as she could into the man’s ear. However, it only lasted a second before one of the other cops noticed and instantly fired his gun in Angelica’s direction. Angelica stumbled and collapsed to the ground, letting out a shout of pain.

“Ma!” Scout screamed in horror, running right to his mother’s side. Angelica struggled to sit up, revealing that she’d been hit in the shoulder.

“I’m okay, honey, I’m okay,” she assured him, voice hoarse and breathless.

Horrified, Spy tried to run to where Angelica lay, but in an instant, the police started firing indiscriminately around the room. Spy ducked, scrambling for his gun so he could fire back.

Pyro ducked for cover behind a table, but then whipped out their lighter. They snatched a random paper and lit it ablaze, holding it up. The fire system set off the sprinklers, and the room was instantly doused in water.

Through the midst of the chaos, the police started slipping on the hard floor and falling all over each other, with guns still going off in every direction. Stumbling, the fairy slipped into the room, anxiously looking around. “My wings! Where are they!?”

Sniper shot one of the officers in the face with his rifle, before looking back at the fairy. “Over there!”

The fairy tried to walk, but dropped to her knees in terror when a gunshot rang out, shrieking as she knelt on the wet floor. Noticing from nearby, Lar-Nah offered, “Here, I’ll get them!”

She ran behind the divider, looking around before spotting the wings. She picked them up, only to feel the nozzle of a gun pressed to the back of her neck.

Breathless, Lazarus growled out, “You don’t know what you’re doing. If you let that demon walk free, our whole world could be at risk! You don’t want that, do you?”

Lar-Nah stared down at the wings for a moment, before deciding, “I don’t know about that, but I know I’d rather not share a world with a bastard like you.”

Lazarus scoffed. “Well, let me help you with that!” He tried to pull the trigger, only to realize too late that he was out of bullets. “Oh, shit—!”

Lar-Nah suddenly pulled a syringe of relaxant out of her bag, whirling around and jamming it right into Lazarus’ neck. Lazarus stumbled backwards, collpasing on top of the divider and bringing the whole thing down with it.

“What happened!?” Sniper exclaimed, running over to where Lar-Nah stood. Lar-Nah just handed him the wings.

“Get those to her!” She instructed, pointing at the fairy.

Sniper gave a nod and rushed over to the fairy, passing her the wings. In an instant, the fairy snatched the wings and put them onto her back. With a flash of light, they fused to her like nothing had happened.

The sprinklers had stopped spraying water, and Merasmus looked up just in time to see the fairy flying up to the ceiling. Her wings fluttered so hard they made a sound similar to a hornet buzzing, and her eyes were beginning to glow a pale green. She put her hand to her mouth, looking towards the windows and letting out a high pitched hum.

Merasmus’ eyes widened in terror, and she shouted at the others, “We need to leave, now!”

“What? Why?!” Spy asked, helping Angelica to stand.

“She’s summoning the rest of the fae!” Merasmus exclaimed, running to the doorway. “The ones who must not be named! The ones who must not be named! Get out, now!”

Spy, Scout, Angelica, Bronislava, Sniper, Pyro and Lar-Nah exited the room behind Merasmus, and as soon as they did, there was a sound that could only be described as the horrific screaming of a thousand voices. A giant flash of light filled the lab, followed by debris bursting every which way.

The group of eight sat crouched in the hallway in complete silence, saying nothing for a long moment. Clutching her wounded shoulder, Angelica was the first to slowly look behind her at the lab, and she uttered a, “Oh, my good fucking God,”

Everyone turned around to look at the lab, only to see that the whole room was destroyed. The furniture was completely overturned, the light fixtures were hanging from their sockets, and, oddest of all, there was no sign of Lazarus, Dr. Handy, or any of the cops. It was as if the whole room had been completely gutted.

No one spoke for a very long time. Finally, Merasmus managed to say, “We…we need to get back as soon as possible. Bea is on her way to the base. Let’s…leave, now, before anyone sees us.”

Everyone murmured in agreement, heading quickly down the hallway towards the nearest exit. However, Sniper pointed out, “I don’t think anything Bea could throw our way could ever top what the fuck just happened.”