#anderson: NO. HORNY. ON. MAIN

[cxrdycxps]

Knowing Me Like You Do • Abby Anderson

☢️ pwp • sex as a distraction • slight pussy slapping • biting • love bites • what could be described as a panic attack in the beginning • shower sex • kind of public surroundings but no one is there ☢️

Main Masterlist • Abby Anderson Masterlist

Your head pressed against the cool ceramic tile and you used it to ground your racing heart. Your patrol had been a close one today and your heart still hadn’t gotten the message that the danger was gone. Two of the other decontamination showers were also running and you thanked whatever deity that listened for Manny and Nora for having your back today.

You inhaled deeply and let your exhale out between puckered lips, trying to regain control of your emotions. The left over adrenaline was lighting up your nervous system and it was making you jittery, your body shaking even under the warm water.

You have yourself a perfunctory scrub with the anti-fungal soap and listened as one shower turned off and then the other. Manny called his goodbyes first and Nora followed a minute later reminding you to eat before you slept to combat the adrenaline crash.

You weren’t sure if you had answered her. You weren’t sure if you were contained within your skin or if you had burst open like the flesh of the bloater you had encountered earlier.

“Baby?” You jumped when the soft voice spoke, had gentle hand reaching out to your hip. “You gotta be clean by now.”

“Abby.” You sighed, relaxing back into her arms. She pulled you against her, skin on skin. She had stripped down to join you. Your nerve endings were alight but the familiar touch was a soothing balm to them. “You’re here.”

“I met Nora in the canteen. I didn’t realize you guys were back tonight.” She was rocking you slowly, one hand stroking back and forth across your stomach. “She said it was a rough one?”

“Abby, make me forget.” You whispered, your head falling back on her shoulder, turning to press your lips to her neck. “Please.”

“Mm for now I will. But we’re talking later.” She whispered against your skin, twisting her neck to kiss you. You let your eyes close and forced yourself to only feel her.

Every place where your skin pressed together felt like heaven to you. Your heart stopped racing, your breathing came easier. A heavy fog settled over your thoughts that narrowed everything down to her.

She kissed you gently, letting it build when you opened your mouth to the press of her tongue. She let one hand wrap around your waist while the other travelled over you skin, her fingers dragging against you, slippy from the water of the shower.

Her finger ghosted up your arm, across your collarbone and back down your sternum. When you whined against her lips she only shushed you with a breath before kissing you again. Her fingers tracing the bottom of your ribs.

With the same gentle touch she traced back up to your chest and down to brush barely there touches against your nipples, trading back and forth so that you didn’t know where she’d touch you next. “That’s it, there’s my Baby.”

When you melted against her she let her touch turn rougher, pinching and pulling now instead of just tracing. You whined against her mouth and she nipped at you bottom lip sharply. “Take what you’re given.”

The hand around your waist took in the ghosting touch, tracing the crease of your groin and then trailing through the coarse curls to the other side. You writhed against her and she groaned, abandoning her touch to grip your hip tightly and grind herself against your ass. “You behave or I’ll get myself off, dry you off and bring you back to the room horny.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” You challenged, grabbing her hand and bringing it away from your chest and sliding it down your stomach. She didn’t resist when you traced one of her fingers through your folds. “Get me off.”

Abby chuckled against the skin of your neck, teeth nipping lightly. You knew she wouldn’t deny you, she hadn’t got it in her. She believed in instant gratification. She got her kicks from getting you to cum. Teasing didn’t appeal to her and you knew her well enough to know that her threats were empty.

You gasped when her middle finger rubbed tight circles against your clit. She always knew what you needed. Sometimes she knew the only thing that would get you off would be her tongue, loose and sloppy. Some days you needed her strap with a longing so hard it physically hurt.

But sometimes the desperation was so sharp that anything more than her finger on your clit would ruin it all, knock you out of your head. You wound one arm up to wrap around her head, fisting her hair tightly. “Right fucking there.”

She laughed against your neck again, her index finger joining her middle finger. She stopped with the circles and just rubbed left to right and back again with enough pressure that your body jerked against her. “When we go back to the room you’re sitting on my face. I swear, Abby.”

“When we get back to the room you’ll pass out. When you wake I’ll sit on your face.” She promised, sucking on the skin of your neck and you knew you’d get shit for it tomorrow but right now it felt so good you just let it happen. “You’re so tense, let it go.”

Your jaw clenched and you ground your teeth but shook your head. You weren’t there yet, it wasn’t quite right. Something was missing. “Not yet.”

Abby laughed against the junction of your neck and shoulder, the pressure of her fingers increasing. You were writhing against her, right one the edge when her fingers withdrew for a second, her hand slapping down against your clit at the same second she bit into your flesh.

You were glad the showers had emptied when you screamed and a second slap followed before her two fingers were back to the swiping pressure. “Fucking cum. Now.”

You did as told, moaning loudly and collapsing back against her. Your body shook with the force for your orgasm and you gasped for breath. “Fucking love you.”

“I know you do. I love you too, baby. Now let’s get you dry and fed so you can sleep.”

[elliesbelle]

hello my loves ♡

⚢ my name is belle

⚢ i’m in my 20s

⚢ i am a brown femme lesbian

⚢ my pronouns are they/them

⚢ currently writing for ellie williams & abby anderson from the last of us, and vi from arcane. i’ll expand my fics to other characters as well in the future! feel free to make suggestions for fics, drabbles, or headcanons!

⚢ you may ask to be on taglists for some of my works, but you can instead follow my taglist blog @belleloves

⚢ minors DNI

⚢ no racists, homophobes, transphobes, antisemites, islamophobes, fatphobes, zionists, etc. allowed near me

⚢ if we're mutuals, you can DM me for my main blog :)

⚢ i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

palestine will be free

masterlist

the last of us

ellie williams

⚢ fics:

☼ nobody compares to you: series masterlist

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, chapter 12, chapter 13, chapter 14 (work in progress)

☼ almost like we knew: series masterlist

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (hiatus)

☼ the heartbreak trilogy: series masterlist

chapter 1: while i die (based on the conan gray song "heather"), chapter 2: rained on with you (based on the lizzy mcalpine song "ceilings"), chapter 3: eviscerated (based on the muna song "everything")

⚢ one-shots:

☼ already over (based on the sabrina carpenter song)

☼ skinny dipping (based on the sabrina carpenter song)

☼ imagine (a world like that) (based on the ariana grande song “imagine”)

☼ how much i need you (based on the olivia o’brien song “hate u love u”)

☼ between your fingers (based on the olivia rodrigo song “the grudge”)

☼ wish she was you (based on the hinder song “lips of an angel)

⚢ texts conversations:

☼ domestic!gf ellie: part 1 (slightly horny but also fluffy nonsense)

☼ domestic!gf ellie: part 2 (ellie gets anxiety from reader not responding)

☼ domestic!gf ellie: part 3 (ellie and reader spend most of their time texting each other at work, it seems)

☼ college gf dealer!ellie: part 1 (featuring pictures of my cat)

☼ college gf dealer!ellie part 2 (living in an off-campus apartment with ellie)

⚢ headcanons:

☼ what ellie would look for in a partner

☼ ellie with an oblivious girlfriend

☼ ellie with the hots for the babysitter

abby anderson

⚢ one-shots:

☼ what i need (based on the hayley kiyoko song)

⚢ texts conversations:

☼ domestic!gf abby: part 1 (abby's love language is acts of service)

☼ domestic!gf abby: part 2 (pranking abby with taylor swift song lyrics)

⚢ headcanons:

☼ loser!abby around her crush

arcane

vi

⚢ coming soon!

[ethan-lawson]

dawg you have to stop being horny on main you’re scaring the voters. your demographic is, fortunately or unfortunately, not composed of obsessive women like anderson’s

The line between being horny and being assertive is thin. I like to use it as a jump rope.

[doodlingaway]

Bridgerton S3 Thoughts So Far

I have approximately a million thoughts. They are not terribly well organized, but here we go.

(Spoilers ahead, obv)

I am obsessed with the Kanthony snippets. They have ruined me. Words cannot describe my joy and just the amount of flailing that I have done. THESE TWOOOOO I LOVE THEMMMM 🥰🫠

Specifically obsessed with the idea that they are just too horny to function and that's why they're not in most of the episodes. Go off, you sluts. ❤️‍🔥

THEIR HAND OBSESSION I CANNOT. Toying with a fic idea about this, I love it so much.

We knew this about Anthony, but love that they've solidified him as a man obsessed with eating out his wife, thank youuuuuu

Colin and Pen are so cute! I love them and am really digging how they adapted RMB so far. And THE CARRIAGE SCENE HOLY HELL 🥵

(But also RIP my dreams of virgin!Colin, what a hoe)

I low key love Lord Debling, he's so sweet. Not for Penelope at the expense of Colin, but like, I love him and kinda want him as a practical match for Cressida so she can escape her dumb family.

Speaking of Cressida, who else got queer vibes off the Eloise/Cressida friendship??? Granted I am not an objective observer, I have been stanning for a queer Eloise story since like day fucking one of this series, but like, come on. I don't love her and Eloise as a long-term match, but if this is how I can get my bb Eloise out of the closet, I am fully on board.

Penelope and Eloise!! 🥺 It hurts so much I just want them to be friends again! Tbh, this friendship rift feels like as much of a beating emotional heart of this season as the main Polin story, and I am HERE FOR IT. All for anything that shows that platonic love between friends can be equally important/impactful/heartbreaking/fulfilling as romantic love!

JOHN AND FRANCESCA!!! 🥰🥹🥺😭 Honestly, how dare they make me love them as a pair so much when we know what happens to him?? But I love what Hannah Dodd is doing with Fran and this makes me SO EXCITED (but scared) for her eventual season.

These storylines that I loved aside, there are TOO MANY UNNECESSARY STORYLINES. I like Will and Alice as characters, but I didn't need their storyline. The whole "Featherington sisters don't know how to fuck" was funny once or twice for comic relief, but I do not need a whole thing of it. I ADORE Ben, but like, what are we doing here with Lady Arnold? I fully support Violet getting some action and am intrigued by whatever the deal is with Lady D and her brother, but I could take or leave most of the Marcus Anderson stuff at this point. I just wish that they had cut a few of these and spent more time with Colin and Pen and/or Pen and Eloise (or I would never complain about more Kanthony, but I can acknowledge that they're not the focus of the season, so fine).

I'm super glad they took the note on season 2 not being horny enough and were like WE'RE DIALING IT UP TO 10 🔥 Everybody get you some action this season, we love to see it.

All of this said, I'm super enjoying it so far and DYING THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE MONTH FOR THE SECOND HALF! 🫠 Excited/terrified to see how they handle the Whistledown (wo)manhunt, and forever grateful for the romance genre where you know it ends in an HEA.

I'm off to write some fic to cope (and I hope you all do the same so I can enjoy yours!). And I would love to know others' thoughts - I've been loving to see everyone's reactions, even where they're different from mine!

[mrdarcygenderenvy]

Recent Austen adaptations yelling

Ok I DID make this blog to review historical-set Pride & Prejudice adaptations (with an exception made for iconic B&P). But for everyone who was DEFINITELY WONDERING, yes I have also been storing away a lot of opinions about other recent Austen adaptations that I Must Tell Someone.

.

Fire island (2022)

A modern gay party cheesy rom-com P&P that genuinely made me laugh. Having seen some other (whiter) cheesy gay romcoms that were extreeeemely PG & playing it safe, I was pleasantly surprised.

Also Bowen Yang and his story just came across really earnest in a way I was into - would watch this man cry again, 10/10.

Personally as an extremely disabled british nerd (now tragically unable to travel and/or go to the club...) this gay scene is a long way from my queer scene. But I still had emotions, you know?

Kinda wanted more of the Mary analogue and generally just normal looking people (almost everyone is so ripped) but I appreciate that's how beautiful smooth people often look in mainstream american films, we can't have everything.

DARCY WATCH: I do not want to dress like this adaptation's chinos Mr Darcy. But Conrad Ricamora was generally great and very hot and awkward and understood the assignment. Good ice cream throw.

.

Emma (2020)

I know I know, it's pretty... but I don't think that's enough!!!!!

Lovely production, beautiful costumes, a candy wes-anderson cinematography that really suits the story, and it's fun to notice references to actual outfits and prints from the time but lads. LADS. UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME: Where is the chemistry???

You can’t make Mr Knightley a nice sweet boy (so funny to have cast a posh folksy singing man) and leave the plot the same and expect it to work!! Also I was personally pissed off that a lot of the promo/ ads for this made it look like ~forbidden love~ when it's the 2 richest white people in town getting together?? ? There's actually not even a class difference in this one, guys.

Basically this romance was nothing to me!!! I felt nothing!!!!!!!! WHERE'S THE DEPTH

I did like the bit where he lies down though. Relatable.

Also why are you drawing so much attention to the servants when you don’t seem to have anything to say about class...? 'Wow look how many servants they had! Anyway, they don't get any speaking lines'... it's 2020 guys!!! like what are we saying here. 'isn't it cool to think about how people were rich'??

kind of the point of Emma (character) is she's pretty superficial, but the story does not, in fact, have to be

.

Persuasion (2022)

Weeping softly into a pillow........ did you know this version meant a version with Sarah Snook and Joel Fry got cancelled?? we could have had it all

(standing on a table yelling) THE MODERNISATION WAS NOT THE PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM!!!

Honestly I actively liked all the entire secondary cast in this. Louisa and Mary were extremely charming fun takes to watch. ('I'm an empath' IS right for the character if you're doing modern jokes!!!) And nobody can deny this was a correct and powerful use of Richard E Grant.

Henry Golding was naturally great. Apparently he got offered the lead and took the villain instead, which DOES mean the villain is super charming and fun to watch which is... hard to match and.... kind of shows up.... the main man.

It's been said before but the main two were WOEFUL imo. I have no beef with the actors I just question the DIRECTION and whether anyone making this knew (or cared) why people... enjoy things.

Book Anne is the quietest gentlest loser and I LOVE HER and so does basically every Austen nerd. Making her a quirky wine-bath girl who's honestly just cruel sometimes fully stops the main romance chemistry and plot from working.

And it means the main boy is still like 'god I'm so horny for how KIND AND CAPABLE YOU ARE' which is just 100% no longer true. You can't transplant a personality in a romance but leave the plot the exact same and expect it to work. The chemistry IS the plot in a romance..........

you can't act morally superior to your siblings and still rate people out of ten.... also so funny to me that everyone else gets period outfits and hair whereas this protagonist looks like she just glanced at a picture of any time in the past and grabbed a couple shirts from primark. it doen't even look good or build character!!!!!

Anyway, not to be an elderly man like 'ohhh why does nobody care about character these days' but the reason something like Clueless works is because it has the heart of the story right, instead of just copying the surface level stuff.

[andydrarch]

So I uhhhhhhhh was bored and wanted to get those creative juices flowing and I filled out a giant nsfw ask meme unprompted for Yumikel. And by Yumikel I mean Heinkel, Yumie, and Yumiko individually. Below the cut bc this is stupid long

The ask meme in question.

Heinkel

A - depends on who she’s with. With Yumiko she’s a lot gentler afterwards, very eager to praise Yumiko for doing a good job, wants to make sure she didn’t hurt her in any way. Yumie doesn’t get the same treatment. They’ve been in actual fights enough times where Heinkel doesn’t feel the need to check in with her. They finish, Yumie snuggles up to her, and that’s that. Yumie may check in with her, but they both know Yumie doesn’t want to be checked in on.

B - Heinkel’s a big fan of Yumi’s breasts. She thinks they’re the best thing ever. They’re small, but they’re cute and Heinkel likes how they feel in her hands and in her mouth. She doesn’t have breasts so they seem extra neat because of it. Out of her own body, Heinkel likes having such broad shoulders. She likes the masculine silhouette it gives her.

C - Heinkel cums in a very messy way bc she’s intersex, so a lot of times when she jerks off she only does it in the shower or on a towel. The perks of having an amazing wife make it easier to have sex in random places because there’s someone to clean her up with her mouth. Heinkel loves how Yumi looks with her cum on her face.

D - Heinkel is overwhelmingly embarrassed about how often she jerks off to Yumi, even after they’re married. She has a very high sex and tries to take care of it herself bc Yumiko is not as horny as her. She doesn’t want Yumiko to know how sexually driven she is, she’s scared she’ll get judged over it

E - Heinkel is only experienced with Yumi. She technically had more experience than Yumiko only bc she masterbates regularly and understands how to get herself off, and Yumiko doesn’t masterbate. She also got advice on how to have lesbian sex so she’d be generally ready for her first time. Yumie is equally experienced.

F - I think Heinkel’s two favorite positions depend on her mood. Missionary is her favorite when she’s in a romantic mood and wants to have that connection with Yumi, but when they’re just fucking, Heinkel’s a big fan of cowgirl. She likes getting rode and she likes seeing Yumi’s breasts bounce

G - Most of the time I think Heinkel is fairly straightforward during sex. Be a little romantic, have sex, go to sleep basically. With Yumie, it’s her being all submissive yet stubborn, makes Yumie work for her to break. She’s good at staying in a scene.

H - Heinkel’s hygiene is just like. Average. She’s prone to getting a little grimy during missions from getting busy, but only Yumiko is bothered by this. When they’re home, Heinkel is washed and fine.

I - can be intimate in short spurts. She can express her intimacy to Yumiko with enthusiasm but can struggle a little with Yumie because they’re both busy being rough and tough gals

J - Heinkel has to masterbate at least twice a week to stay sane and comfortable, but if she has the option, once a day is ideal. Obv she can’t jack off when she’s doing something like sharing a tent with Anderson on a mission. Usually she just strokes her clit since it’s big enough to jerk off like a dick, and she ALWAYS thinks about Yumi while she does it.

K - Heinkel is definitely into bdsm, and she is super into Yumie domming her.

L - usually Heinkel likes just their house bc that’s Good and Proper, BUT with that being said, semi-public sex with vibrators or having sex in a closet somewhere is also something she enjoys a lot. It feels taboo and that makes it hot.

M - main things are watching Yumi be sexual, which almost exclusively applies to Yumie. Yumie killing people gets her going pretty good too. Yumiko calling her big and strong is a pretty solid turn on too.

N - vaginal penetration. Her vaginal canal isn’t fully formed because she’s intersex and it is extremely painful to have sex that way. She can do this to Yumi, but Yumi can’t do it to her

O - definitely prefers to receive but is always eager to reciprocate. Yumiko is just so good at giving head, she can’t help it, and anyways with her anatomy the way it is, it’s like the one mostly different thing she can get. She fairly good at eating out Yumi, but Yumiko is definitely better at it than her by quite a bit.

P - with Yumiko she usually takes it slow and steady, tries to enjoy the intimacy more, but Yumie is all about hard and fast. They’re quite rough with each other.

Q - Heinkel and Yumie are prone to quickies after missions just bc they both get so wound up by them. It takes off the edge and lets them interact with colleagues better. When they have unlimited time tho, Heinkel will always go for real sex.

R - When they first started having sex, Heinkel was very wary of trying new things. But, the longer she’s been with Yumi, the more she’s become curious and exploratory with kinks and toys and such.

S - Heinkel has great stamina, she’s in really good shape. The regular jerking off helps too. When they have the time and energy, Heinkel can easily go five or six rounds. Yumiko is usually down after two or three, but Yumie can always keep up with her.

T - Heinkel owns and uses toys regularly with Yumi. She never uses them by herself (tho she will pack sometimes for Gender reasons). Strap-ons get MAJOR use in their house, but vibrators make appearances once in a while too

U - Heinkel is a little teasing with Yumiko, but otherwise is more often than not the one being teased. Yumie LOVES edging

V - Heinkel is pretty quiet, she just moans a bit and can get breathing pretty hard. If Yumie is mean enough she can get reduced to whining.

W - Heinkel loves how big she is compared to Yumi. She loves that she can wrap her up in her arms and surround her with love. It’s very arousing for her as well

X - Heinkel’s clit is pretty big, gets about three inches when hard. It looks like a small dick but it’s missing a urethra. She has a vaginal opening but the canal behind it is only like two inches deep, and her labia minora and majora never separated.

Y - Heinkel’s sex drive is VERY high. It’s a rare day that she’s not in the mood for sex. Usually she tries to ignore it though just bc Yumiko’s sex drive is substantially lower

Z - Very guilting of fucking and zonking out immediately afterwards (after a smoke if she’s allowed ofc). Yumiko has to pry her out of bed to clean up and pee afterwards so she doesn’t get a UTI (it has happened before lmao)

Yumiko

A - very cuddly, almost a little shy. Needs to hear she did a good job to feel good about it. May need reassurance that Yumie wasn’t the preferred partner.

B - I think Yumiko doesn’t really have a favorite part of her own body, she just likes feeling small and weak (if she’s weak maybe Yumie can’t hurt people). I think she definitely likes Heinkel’s hands bc they’re big and calloused and very good in certain places 🥴

C - Not a HUGE fan of how Heinkel’s cum tastes (smokers tend to not have the best flavor), but it’s def grown on her over the years. Yumiko doesn’t exactly have a point of reference other than Heinkel.

D - Before they got together they reunited after not seeing each other for a few months and hugged and Yumiko was horrified to discover that got her wet. She will never admit this to anyone

E - Yumiko has no idea what she’s doing when she and Heinkel first start having sex. They’re both new, although Heinkel is familiar with masterbating and Yumiko is not. It takes a bit, but eventually she gets the hang of it and is actually pretty good with what she knows. Would absolutely be terrible in bed with anyone other than Heinkel tho, she’d shut down and be back to square one

F - Probably missionary bc Yumiko’s kinda basic and that’s fine. She likes having Heinkel over her, caging her in, just generally making her feel tiny. While it’s not as sexually satisfying, she does really like missionary where Heinkel fucks her with her clit. It gets Heinkel off really well, and Yumiko likes seeing her enjoy herself so much.

G - Yumiko is hella awkward in bed. She’s shy and easily flustered, often doesn’t say much bc it feels too embarrassing. But, at the same time, she does get pretty turned on when she’s embarrassed, so it’s still a great time for her over all.

H - Yumiko is VERY clean. Her hair is always free of knots, soft, smells very nice, which is good bc she has a lot and keeps it down. It’s kind of a necessity that she takes good care of it. She will wear makeup on special occasions, but for the most part she’s usually without it. Even when they’re on missions, Yumiko goes out of her way to stay clean.

I - BIG on intimacy. Yumiko very rarely has sex without this as the intention, so whenever she’s in it, she’s usually focused on Heinkel and how she’s feeling. Even when they do some weird kinky shit, once they’re finished she needs to be showered in affection and praise or else she just won’t feel right.

J - Yumiko NEVER masterbates. She never experienced teenage horniness and never experimented then. In fact, she only really learned approximately how to do it after she and Heinkel became intimate. Heinkel actually taught her one time bc she thought it would be hot to watch (it was), but Yumiko will only really masterbate when Heinkel’s not home and maybe once or twice a year, if that.

K - Huge praise kink, it impacts most of her and Heinkel’s sex. She gets off on being praised and needs it to feel fully intimate, which works out great bc Heinkel can sweet talk her wife in bed and watch her turn into a squirmy puddle. Absolutely obsessed with being called a good girl (unprompted ofc)

L - Yumiko’s got a major semi-public sex kink. Being home is nice and all, but to REALLY get her going, there’s gotta be risk to it. Being sexually stimulated near strangers has her insane, ESPECIALLY if she’s in her habit. The thought of her getting caught in her holy robes by randos makes her brain fall out of her head. If Heinkel initiates ANYTHING in a situation like that, Yumiko is immediately game no matter what.

M - as previously stated, Yumiko’s got a huge praise kink, so if Heinkel compliments her on anything she’s getting hot already. She’s very attracted to Heinkel’s body, so seeing her in little clothing can usually get her going pretty easily. Bonus points if Heinkel is doing some sort of physical activity that makes her muscles stand out.

N - Yumiko, while not a delicate person, is a very delicate soul. She def cannot handle edgeplay, she’d get way too upset. Light biting and choking on a strap-on are one thing, but knives and asphyxiation would just be completely unenjoyable

O - Definitely prefers to give oral if only bc she loves Heinkel’s reaction to it so much. Heinkel’s okay at reciprocating, she gets the job done, but she’s never blown her mind the way Yumiko can blow Heinkel’s.

P - honestly Yumiko usually lets Heinkel do most of the work. She keeps a pretty average pace, but most of the time if she wants things harder or faster, she’ll ask Heinkel to change things on her end. Usually she prefers a slower pace so they can enjoy each other more

Q - okay with quickies if Heinkel initiates them, but will almost never initiate them herself. Again, like 95% of the time Yumiko is only interested in sex for the intimacy. She’s never desperate enough to think she needs a release to help her through something.

R - Usually not one to experiment outside of sex positions just bc her catholic upbringing harped so hard on anything extra in sex. She usually needs to be eased into new things, and when she is, she does usually enjoy it.

S - Yumiko is def lower on stamina than Heinkel and Yumie, she can last two or three rounds usually before she tuckers out. Most of the time, that’s all she wants anyways

T - by association Yumiko owns toys, but she’s never bought any or would consider any of them hers, per say. They’re all things that she likes when Heinkel uses them on her, although I’m sure she wouldn’t mind trying something simple like a vibrator on Henkel.

U - when she’s topping once in a blue moon, Yumiko is def prone to some light teasing. However, given that she’s usually submissive with Heinkel, she’s the one being teased most often

V - not very loud bc she gets very embarrassed by moans and such. Yumiko will most often whine or whimper, just quiet little high-pitched noises that Heinkel adores. If Heinkel does a really good job with her, she might get something louder out of Yumiko.

W - demipansexual, didn’t realize until her late teens tho. It was very surprising to realize she liked people regardless of gender, but Yumiko has never felt guilty about it. She only ever feels bad about horny thoughts, but just thinking a girl is pretty is not something she frets over

X - Yumiko is cis, nothing crazy going on downstairs. She has a “compact” vulva, where the labia minora is hidden by the labia majora. It’s all very stereotypical down there

Y - Yumiko has a low sex drive, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like having sex often. Horniness doesn’t tend to drive whether or not she wants to bang, usually it’s wanting to experience intimacy with Heinkel. Heinkel makes her feel good emotionally and physically, so it doesn’t bother her to have sex without feeling driven. More likely to not be in the mood than Heinkel for sure (which Heinkel respects!)

Z - after sex, Yumiko does get sleepy. But, she recognizes the importance of cleaning up, using the bathroom afterwards. She might doze off for a little while after a particularly intense session, but then she’s up within half an hour to take care of business.

Yumie

A - she’s very rough with Heinkel in bed, so when they finish, Yumie tends to become the polar opposite. Gentle, clingy, needs to make sure she didn’t hurt hurt Heinkel. Most often just wants to be held.

B - Yumie loves her teeth. They leave such nice marks on Heinkel’s skin 😊. Her favorite part of Heinkel? Her abs. They’re sexy and Yumie likes to grind her pussy on them

C - loves making Heinkel cum on herself because then she gets to lick it up. Definitely enjoys smearing her own all over Heinkel, it makes her feel extra dominant. Def likes the taste of Heinkel more than Yumiko does

D - once stole one of Heinkel’s jackets when they were teens and put it around a pillow for her to hump

E - about the same level of experienced as Heinkel. Understands her own desires and what gets her off from masterbating, but has only ever been with Heinkel. She’s very confident in her own abilities, so Yumie jumps into everything like she knows how to do it. 90% of the time she’s right!

F - Doggy bc she likes to act feral and there’s nothing more feral than mounting Heinkel. Maybe not the most EFFECTIVE position but she loves it anyways

G - Lighthearted but still generally serious. Since she and Heinkel most often are in a distinctly dom/sub thing, she’s very good at maintaining a dominant air (they do switch very rarely and then she’s very whiny and pouty)

H - Yumie has a tendency to get a little gross sometimes, but she doesn’t front long enough for this to happen most of the time. If she’s awake for more than a day or two, her hair gets all knotted up, probably has blood in it from their mission. She’s a bit like Heinkel in that she usually waits until they’re done completely with work before she’ll clean up (unless it’s like, longer than a week). Generally tho she’s clean bc Yumiko keeps them clean

I - pretty shit at intimacy. Gets embarrassed by romantic talk, prefers to only have dirty talk with Heinkel. She sees what she and Heinkel have as substantial enough to not need words, and would probably be offended if someone said otherwise.That being said, sometimes Yumie is overcome with the urge to be affectionate and then Heinkel is the one all flustered bc Yumie goes HAM when she’s being romantic.

J - masterbates occasionally, but def not as much as Heinkel. Enjoys using it as a way to initiate sex bc she loves when Heinkel catches her doing it. Doesn’t front often but usually feels pent up when she does, so if Heinkel doesn’t wanna bang or is not around, masterbating is fair game

K - Yumie has SO MANY KINKS. Predator/prey, bdsm, edgeplay, marking, etc. She loves being dominant and using that power against Heinkel (affectionately)

L - honestly location is barely a factor for Yumie. If they just killed a bunch of people, she wants to fuck, that’s probably her favorite time to bang. Wherever they are when that happens is where she wants to be.

M - Heinkel with blood on her is a major turn on. She def likes people with athletic builds, actively ogles Heinkel at any given opportunity. Biting and drawing blood will basically get Yumie drenched in seconds, that’s the point of no return lmao

N - anything on the uhhhhhh waste side of things, if you catch my drift

O - I would say Yumie prefers receiving oral. She adores sitting on Heinkel’s face, it’s a huge power trip for her. She’s good at giving as well, but she has bit Heinkel’s clit a little too hard a couple times to call her an expert

P - hard and fast is the name of Yumie’s game. Even if she’s subbing she wants hard and fast. She and Heinkel are both strong and Yumie loves when that’s on full display.

Q - Yumie is a serial quickie starter. Post-mission quickies are the backbone of her and Heinkel’s relationship. Hard, fast, sweaty, covered in blood, high on adrenaline; she has to do so much work at home to recreate those things. But straight out of a mission, even if they’re exhausted, it’s all there.

R - Yumie is THE risk taker in their relationship. She buys all their toys, she comes up with new positions, new scenes, and is always trying to figure out new kinks she might be interested in trying. When they first got together Yumie tried to give Heinkel some adjustment time, but after a year or so she figured out Heinkel trusts her enough to just dump new things on her.

S - Yumie has stupid stamina. When she’s berserking it can get sucked up fast since she’s using so much energy, but at home? When she’s not running at inhuman speeds and slicing men in half? She has unlimited energy. Yumie basically goes until she wears out Heinkel and calls it a night most often.

T - Yumie owns SO MUCH SHIT. She probably has stuff Heinkel doesn’t even know about. She prefers to use most things on Heinkel, but strap-ons are usually for Heinkel to wear for Yumie to fuck herself on.

U - Yumie is the biggest, meanest tease ever. She likes edging Heinkel, likes pretending she’s gonna hurt her really bad. Denying Heinkel what she wants for ages is basically the first law in the Yumie rulebook

V - Yumie’s loud as hell. She sees nothing wrong with enjoying sex and letting other people know all about it. Big into dirty talk and not afraid to be loud with it

W - found out she was into marking bc she and Heinkel got into a fight when they were like, middle school age and she bit Heinkel. She liked that everyone knew she did it, and then as a teen she looked back and went oh. Ohhhhhhhh

X - see Yumiko’s, they have the same body lmao

Y - slightly higher than average sex drive. Does not experience the raw need Heinkel gets, but she def gets urges randomly unlike Yumiko. Yumie is also kinky enough that seemingly random shit can set her off and make her stupidly horny

Z - Yumie usually dozes off fast if she was the one getting railed, but if she’s doing a particularly intense session with Heinkel that leaves her all covered in bite marks and blood, she’ll stay awake to clean up Heinkel. Heinkel goes basically comatose when Yumie edges her for like an hour straight (no really), so then Yumie has to be responsible and clean her up.

[red-riding-wood]

Writing Plans for 2022

I'm gonna slap a read more tag on this because it's gonna be a long one. Basically just an overview of what I will (probably) be writing this year.

My New Years resolution was to absolutely crack down on my writing and pump out more pages than Stephen King but we'll see if that actually becomes a thing.

My priorities, kind of in order but also not really because I am a very indecisive person:

Also, requests are not featured on here because I intend to do those sort of in between my actual fics. But I swear they are on my mind and definitely on "the list"!

My Peaky Blinders fic (White Ribbon). This will be a two part novel series so I think the majority of my efforts will be going towards this. I at least need the first written this year but will hopefully power through into Book 2.

A bunch of other things for Adrien Brody characters because I am down bad and nobody can stop me. Confirmed (in my mind) so far includes: - The Grand Budapest Hotel - bringing Alice back for a multichapter AU of her and Dmitri rather than Jopling - The Darjeeling Limited - have a lil multichapter fic planned for this - King Kong (2005) - Look, hear me out. It's a really cool world that I want to write in. Also, Adrien. - Chapelwaite - Main reason is again Adrien but also I really want to write horror and love the gothic sort of setting. Probably will wait for season 2 to come out first though. Also may use Charlotte (my Peaky character) for it.

I'm probably not finishing that Willem challenge... but I still have a lot of his stories that I intend to follow through on because they will haunt me otherwise. These include: - World on Fire (Light Sleeper) - A two part novella? novel? that uses my character Kelly from my old Far Cry 5 fic and it keeps calling to me, especially the ending scene, so I know I need to finish writing it. - a currently unnamed fic for Murder on the Orient Express - I also have so much inspiration for this and I can't wait til it's written but I have some things in the storyline and character to fine tune first. This will probably come when White Ribbon and World on Fire are finished. - Finish Verum Vindictae (John Wick). I can't let this one fall into the abyss of abandoned WIPs but I also don't really have the inspiration for it right now. - I do have to finish LEOMB though can make no promises when - Potentiallyyyyyy an Aquaman fic that I didn't have a full storyboard for but some ideas for. I love the world of this film and what I had in mind would be very dark, almost horror-esque. - Also potentially a fic for Roadhouse 66. I have the first chapter written, a character, and nearly an entire storyboard. I just don't know if I care enough about it to invest the time. - also potentially (but less likely) a Beyond Two Souls one

A Modern Warfare fic because the nostalgia for COD is hitting me hard again and I think I actually sort of have a couple ideas for it. And I had no idea that so many people were horny for Ghost now so it's actually a thing.

Finish my Far Cry 5 fic. The sequel will probably be in 2023 realistically.

Potentially more Wes Anderson stuff even if it doesn't involve Adrien because I just love his worlds; they're huge comforts to me. But this is only if I can think of good ideas.

A couple original works. Short stories and some poetry. I don't know yet if I will be posting them, though.

If I'm feeling ready for it, and have written enough of my long to-do list, then I may start on my dark western novel that I intend to publish. Won't be posting here because if my real name was ever associated with this I would probably become a hermit. But of course whenever I do end up writing it I can keep anyone interested updated.

Monster sequel in um... 2023? 2050, more like it.

Also let me know if you'd like to be on the tag list for any of these specifically or in general and if you'd like details on any of them since most currently exist in my head.

[frustrationinexcelsis]

I’ve spent approximately four non-consecutive days in the family car driving up and down a decent chunk of the country. On the one hand my knee hurts like a motherfucker from all that sitting still. On the other hand, I got a lot of reading done.

Book the first, X-Wing: Rogue Squadron.

This one was reasonably entertaining. A lot of it was story and character setup, which for the first book in a decently long series makes sense enough. 

Wedge and Horn were interesting enough, and did a suitable job carrying the main narrative. I liked the depiction of the tensions and dynamics in the newly formed squadron, and the politicking in Alliance command was believable enough. Most everyone seemed decently rounded in what they were trying to achieve, I liked that Sam wasn’t relegated to a shallow paranoid roadblock but was portrayed as having reasonable causes to act in the ways he did.

(I am noticing, however, between this and the Thrawn trilogy, that Bothan characters seem to be getting cast into the role of smug asshole politicians too busy jostling for influence to catch on to reality.)

The villains were also interesting, I liked the look at the Empire in a transitional state from its unified form in the movies to the mess of warlord states it degenerates into by the time of the later novels. Still powerful, still large, but the cracks are showing and the outer parts are already starting to slough away. Isard’s... interesting, I don’t think I've seen enough to get a strong bead on her yet but so far she seems like a promising coldly calculating chessmaster. I think she might be a fun one to follow.

I’d say so far I’m reasonably interested, which isn’t a bad spot to be on the first book in a series. Not a whole lot of specific thoughts, but we’ll see how things develop as I go along.

I have to say, however, Stackpole’s writing tends to get a little too horny when discussing female characters. He’s not as bad as Anderson, granted, it’d take a lot to top a character’s figure being unironically compared to “complicated paths through a hazardous planetary system”.

[jaybigheaddt]

My review of Starship Q

Now that Starship Q has finished season 1, I'd like to give my thoughts on this fun, queer friendly, raunchy as hell, sci fi comedy from Australia. Starship Q is about a crew of mostly non males (Sims, Aurelia, Solaris, Mo, and MUDDA FUCKIN DUSTY) and Bob. Back by the very misogynistic ISA, the Starship Q was sent to do space stuff, and then Earth rudely decided to fuck off and get destroyed. Thanks, auto makers, you fucks. Now as the last remaining humans (allegedly), they must travel the galaxies in search for a new home all the while trying not to offend or kill the other lifeforms in the universe. I love Starship Q, it's fun, raunchy, and entertaining as hell. The cast of Starship Q have great chemistry together, and it’s a show that doesn’t take itself super seriously like a lot of sci fi audio dramas, but there still sweet moments. Aurelia and Sims relationship (they are exes, oof) play such a key role in the show and the comedy. Two vastly different personalities and ideas, clashing (a lot) yet working together (eventually). The rest of the crew are also magnificent personalities. Mo is a horny medical doctor who brings a lot of the raunchy humor, Solaris is the bright-eyed young engineering specialist who’s great at they’re job and tends to fix everything, Dusty the pilot is who we all should inspire to be, and Bob the botanist/chef is trying his hardest, bless his heart. While Aurelia and Sims have great chemistry, I was more drawn by the banters of Dusty and Bob. They don’t spend a lot of time together but when they do it’s hilarious. The main plot of season 1 is mostly them fucking about, trying to find a new home, all while keeping back those sad emotions of losing everyone and everything they loved back on Earth, cause Earth also died. It’s not til the last few episodes of the season where the writers, Lauren Anderson and Meegan May, start implying there’s more to the story and with season 1 leaving us with a cliff hanger, it’s obvious there’s more to the story of the ISA and Earth’s destruction.

Is Starship Q for everyone? I doubt it, I’m sure the raunchy humor may not be for everyone, but I can safely say it’s for me. I will say there was one line, from the season finale, right from the start they made me go “fucking that’s disturbing” I won’t tell you what the line is, all I can say is, it sounds like a plot to a hentai. And if you know hentai, then you know it’s disturbing. Overall, I love the show and I look forward to season 2. Also fuck the ISA all day every day, 24/7, Dusty’s Dudes unite and kick down the doors!    

[employee210]

secondstickingaway replied to your post “g1itchb0y-advanced replied to your post “Everything on the internet...”

@g1itchb0y-advanced​ thats assuming anders himself isnt daddy in the first place

“Have you learned nothing of today?”

[yes-divine-ruler]

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ☆‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ main masterlist ☆‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏can’t stop thinking about… ✰

Fucking yourself on Warren’s cock while he smokes a joint

Drunk Jimmy giving you head, and you’re a contortionist

Restraining Colin with his own handcuffs

It’s Halloween.. Your costume makes Tate horny

Tate wears a cock ring while he fucks your throat

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎one-shots, series, hc’s and blurbs 

Tate Langdon 

Kit Walker 

Kyle Spencer 

Jimmy Darling 

James March 

Rory Monahan 

Kai Anderson 

Evan Peters 

Alex 

Colin Zabel 

Warren Lipka 

Stan Bowes 

Peter Maximoff 

Luke Cooper 

[lyledebeast]

I have a few thoughts about nudity in the first season of Interview with the Vampire to share.  One of the refreshing things about this series is that the sex scenes were filmed with an audience that is attracted to men in mind.  That’s a fairly big departure from mainstream queer representation historically.  For example, in 2004′s Brokeback Mountain there is more nudity in Ennis and Jack’s sex scenes with their respective wives than in their scene together, and it’s the wives’ bodies that are on display.  It was not unusual in that respect.  Sex scenes were shot with straight male audiences in mind, even when the main relationship was between two men.

The sex scenes involving women in IwtV show the women’s breasts for a couple of seconds, but the nudity the camera lingers on is Sam Reid’s.  A lot of it. Often.  In the scene where Louis catches him in bed with Antoinette, she covers up immediately while Lestat just sits there, a sheet draped between his legs to hide his penis (This is AMC. after all, not A24).  There is no doubt Lestat is naked in that bed; his bare hip and thigh are an invitation to desire, not only for Louis but the audience.  Even so, Lestat is not objectified. He is a subject of desire here and elsewhere, and his nudity is not accompanied by disempowerment. Even as this scene continues, and an angry, horny Louis throws him around like a rag doll, it seems to be going exactly according to Lestat’s plans. 

This is one of two scenes where Lestat is completely naked while Louis is mostly or fully clothed.  We never see the reverse, and in scenes where both men are naked we see more of Reid’s body than Jacob Anderson’s.  The levitation/making scene is shot in such a way that Anderson’s body is mostly hidden by Reid’s.  This choice is not simply practical. There is a long, painful history of naked Black bodies being objectified, both in filmmaking and in Western culture generally.  Adding to these the racism Louis experience in the series and the fact that he is frequently abused by Lestat, Anderson’s nudity would carry  baggage that Reid’s does not.  It would be difficult to not make it objectifying or exploitative. Instead, Louis’s sexiness is presented through other means, such as Lestat’s insatiable, maddening desire for him.

It’s clear from these and other representational choices that there were Black and queer people in the writers’ room.  There is such thought and care put not only into making these characters compelling but also showing consideration to minority audiences that have often been ignored.  This is what sensitive, nuanced diversity in television looks like.

[sw1mmingfoolz]

✨ meet the writer ✨

caitlin / 21 / she/they lesbian / england / bst timezone (gmt+1) / infj / gemini / autistic

hello! i'm caitlin (or you can call me cait), and i've been a carat since 2014, a stay since 2018 and an nctzen since 2016! i used to write for bts and svt between 2015 and 2017 so it's nice to be back doing what i love!

biases (+ bias wreckers):

svt: josh + jeonghan (+ vernon + woozi)

nct: johnny (+yuta, taeyong and mark)

skz: felix + lee know (bang chan)

general likes:

tea (i collect flavours, genuinely please talk to me about tea lmao), svt skz and nct obviously, enhypen and tbz, stayc rv itzy twice and fromis_9, ghibli films, really any films (wong kar wai and wes anderson are my fave directors + i'm a big criterion gal but i'm not super pretentious; i adore twilight even though ik it's bad lmao), books (especially classics - antique books make me extremely happy! my 1913 copy of daddy long legs is my favourite possession haha), embroidery/cross stitching, baking, cooking (i mainly cook korean and japanese food because they're the tastes i like most), language learning. come talk to me about anything though, my inbox is always open!!

languages:

english and 한국어 (fluent)

french (intermediate)

byf :)

i am autistic so i can ramble a fair bit, i swear a fair bit, and my schedule doesn't really exist because i also have adhd lol. also incapable of not putting the films i like into my works because i am pretentious like that!! i don't write smut but i am a sex worker so i am not against like. horny asks lmao so minors be aware of that i guess! block "nsfw time" to avoid those asks.

my main is @svtsunshine which is where i interact, follow and rb from! i also used to run @incorrectsvt which still has 5k followers somehow?? so you might know me from there haha :)

recs:

cool blogs you should check out for great svt smau content! : @suhnshinehaos @wondernus @networkluvs @svtfilms @thepixelelf @flickerchans

cool non smau writing blogs with equally great content! (to be continually added to!) : @etherealyoungk | @tiny-imagines / @crimsoncauldron | @ravixen / @imagine-svt | @husbandhoshi | @treasuretaeil | @ballelino (18+) | @hotgirlwonwoo (18+) | @leeseoksmile (18+) | @97-liners / @naptaemed | @teeyara (18+)

[shlutnutt]

The Evans x Public Teasing

warnings: just regular smut cons, nothing too overboard

Warren Lipka

your go to tease for Warren would simply be waiting for him at his hangout spot to just slip your lips between your teeth, knowing that it was his main weakness

will give you the look (you know which look)

discretely slapping your ass when he catches your head turned the other way, as cars will beep their horns to the sight of a horny couple on the sidewalk

"You're playing a dangerous game, Y/N."

"Oh trust me. I know."

Peter Maximoff

your go to tease for Peter would be showing off your cleavage

just know he'll get instantly hard

#boobie man

will try to 'accidentally' form contact with his bulge against a surface slightly

his breath will literally get hitched in his throat

"S-stop doing that we're in p-public.." he would say in a pathetic whisper.

Tate Langdon

will try to hide his blush with his shaggy curls as you fidget with your spaghetti strapped top

him crossing his legs, to create a precise friction against his crotch with his jeans

"What's wrong baby boy?" you would whisper softly massaging his thigh discreetly underneath the dining table

"S-stop.. please stop." would respond Tate, slightly pushing your hand away which in fact made his member leak in precum

James Patrick March

James's an ass whore.

you fully aware of how much your ass turned him on you took it upon yourself to sit on his lap whilst he hosted a meeting

"Keep your brains' steady my friends, nothing's- , W-woah~"

"Excuse me, would you mind, my precious?"

"Couldn't find anymore seats.." you respond in his ear sending nothing but seductive shivers down his spine.

feeling his crotch harden under you, him attempting to mantain his presentable smile

Jimmy Darling

You adored seeing Jimmy struggle to sing when you shaked your breasts in the dullness of the freakshow's main tent

he would stutter slightly and his pants would tighten around his bulge

him of course growing impatient to catch you outside and show you who's in charge

after his painful show he'd pull you by your arm into a selective corner

"Listen Y/N, make that the last time you do that in public, or else I promise you i'll leave you limping for weeks."

Kit Walker

You'd show up to Kit's job with short shorts just to watch his needy self struggle in public

"How ya doing my, lov- *his gaze lowering to check you out* oh.."

"Like my outfit babe? Wore it thinking about you." you'd tease, dragging your overused gum across your tongue.

Kit just staring in disbelief, dropping the screwdriver he had in hand, would be at a loss of words for sure

Kai Anderson (pre-cult & during cult)

- pre-cult -

you would purposely invite Kai to pool parties just to watch him run away before creaming in his pants

you'll always wear a size down in bikinis when you knew he'd come around, 'accidentally' dropping some icecream on your upper breast just to gather it all up on your finger, licking it up

"Well, hello there! Look who's come out of the basement!" you'd joke around offering your sticky hand to Kai, signiling a handshake.

"U-uh, h-i" he'd reply in nothing but uncourageous stutters, as his eyes trail down your soaked body, not even realizing your hand

- cult-kai -

you'd purposely walk into his pinky power meetings

observing how he'd dissociate his eyes onto your fitted outfit

although being well aware of how bad his punishments on you will be, you simply dont mind

proceeding to shake your hips a bit before walking right back out

"I'll deal with you later, Y/N."

Colin Zable

your go to would be sliding your ass across his buldge whilst 'trying to pass by'

like fucking literally

you'd find the tighest of tighest spaces to slide infront of him

enjoying the slight twitch his throbbing cock would produce to the sudden feeling

to just turn back to him blushing to himself, adjusting his dressing pants discreetly

whole time a few of his comrades would catch on

Max Cooperman

loving the waddle you'd cause on Max whilst he'll be out training was your ultimate go to

you'd walk into the gym with a semi see-through crop top to distract the fuck out of him, fucking loving how he'd grow red stuttering whilst trying to train his "group"

he'd pull you to the side asking you to leave, noticing how his hands shaked in anticipation

"Hey w-would you mind? please.." he'd ask, almost nutting instantly to having your view just so close to him

taglist: @divineruler @thatspookyagent @kai-andersons-cheeto @kaismessiahbb @evanmybeloved @sinnersblood @billyhxrgrove

(dont hesitate to dm to be in taglist)

[bamfdaddio]

Uncanny X-Men Abridged: 1982: Fairytales & Nightmares Edition

The X-Men, those fantastical mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 153 & 160) - by Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum, Josef Rubinstein, Bob Wiacek, Brent Anderson

I love how every character gets hit with a good dose of magical fairy dust except for Wolverine and Nightcrawler, who get turned into the Tasmanian Devil and a horny smurf, respectively

1982 is a pretty arc-based year. Most of it is dedicated to space operas, the Brood and Shi’ar politics (yawn), but there are a few outliers. Most notable of these two exceptions are issue 153 - Kitty’s fairytale - and issue 160, the introduction of Limbo. I’ve chosen to highlight these two issues because they are fun, fascinating and, moreover, they are sort of dark mirrors of one another.

Both feature Illyana as a catalyst for the action; both of them feature someone spinning her a little fairytale..

Both feature alternate takes on X-Men: one high fairytale, the other grimdark.

Both are standalone issues that barely feature into the main Shi’ar-plot of 1982 -- seriously, you can take them out without disrupting any narratives -- while still introducing plot points that would become a part of the X-Men mythos. (The Lockheed dragon; the bamf and, most importantly, the introduction of Illyana as Magik.)

It’s funny how the Brood saga takes up almost 80% of the narrative space this year, whereas the whole Limbo/Belasco/Illyana-thing is almost a throwaway plot that is arguably more iconic for the X-Men currently than the Brood are.

Anyway, context. The mansion is in shambles after the attack on the Hellfire Club. Illyana hasn’t returned home after being kidnapped by Arcade -- perhaps to give Colossus a little relief of his homesickness. Illyana then tempts fate:

Take note of that stuffed Fozzi toy, wocka wocka!

Illyana prefers Kitty to tell the story, and I get it. Colossus is a sweetheart, but the dude’s not exactly light of heart. Piotr would probably tell something dreary and fatalistic about three old sisters in a decaying orchard, while Kitty is a lot more fun.

Claremont shows that he is familiar with the workings of the teenage mind, because when faced with the challenge to tell a story, she does the same thing I did when I was thirteen: she goes for a self insert. And she incidentally writes in the boy she has a crush on as her boyfriend.

Look, all I’m saying, we’ve all been there, right?

Anyway, Kitty’s fairytale. Kitty is a pirate, Peter is her shipmate and they stumble upon a quest when ruffians accost a blind prince -- Scott -- and a wizard on his own personal flying carpet -- Xavier. They help out and get roped into the prince’s quest to save his princess from an evil corrupting influence. Sound familiar?

In true Final Fantasy-fashion, all the other party members are introduced one by one. Kitty calls upon a dragon called Lockheed she befriended while Piotr saves a weather goddess trapped in a bottle by the cursed princess. Best highlights, however, are Kitty’s versions of Kurt and Wolverine.

Way of X, I love you, but take note. Kurt was never meant to be puritan.

One of the best parts of this issue is the reaction shots of the other X-Men who listen in to Kitty’s tale. Most of their alternative versions fit stock fairytale characters, although Bamf is more a Disney sidekick than anything else. Wolverine is straight up a Looney Tune though:

At some point, someone looked at this character design and first thought of Sabretooth, right?

The kicker of all of this Kitty wasn´t actually there for the Phoenix Saga: she only met Jean once, briefly, when Jean saved her and the other X-Men from Emma. Kitty never met Dark Phoenix, she only ever heard the details secondhand. Still, she gets it mostly right: prince Scott and princess Jean are star-crossed lovers until Jean is cursed by a corrupting force. As Dark Phoenix, she is hellbent on stopping wizard Xavier and the prince in their tracks, lest they lift the curse by confronting her with her one weakness.

THE HUMANITY

Xavier uses Jean’s humanity to fight off the dark Phoenix and, in this particular universe, they succeed. Scott and Jean get the happy ending they didn’t get in the actual timeline: Kitty even cures his cursed eyebeams. It’s kind of funny that this is the only happy ending the X-Men will ever get during Claremont’s reign.

Speaking of a lack of happy endings, the dark counterpart of Kitty’s fairytale also starts with someone telling Illyana some sweet little lies:

I’m assuming that the whole Stranger Danger-campaign only got big after the eighties? Illyana has all the self preservation skills of a lemming.

Kitty notices that Illyana has vanished and is curious, following her. She steps on a strange light disk and vanishes.

As a slightly piquant aside, I was pleasantly surprised when reading this one digitally. I own a copy of this comic in Dutch (straight from the eighties) and apparently, they censored the version for the low lands. In a comic with creepy assaultey Nightcrawler and many, many, many naked Storms and Wolverines, this page was a bridge too far:

Look, maybe they weren’t entirely wrong. Last time three guys were bouncing around me and I invited them for a shower, I wasn’t entirely innocent either.

I was “also not welcome in that gym again” but that’s besides the point.

Who knows, maybe they just wanted to cut out the clunky exposition of storylines recent. In any case, the X-Men decide to investigate and they are also whisked away: those disks of light are apparently teleportation circles.

Also, can someone please tell Chris Claremont that German sometimes does have i before e?

They’re pulled into a pocket dimension where time and space are treated as guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. While Belasco taunts Kitty (and pulls her skeleton from her body to keep her from escaping), the other X-Men get separated, wandering about this utterly foreign dimension and encountering future/alternative versions of themselves.

I still love how alien this first version of Limbo is. The comic is titled ‘Shoots & Ladders’ and it’s exactly like that, except in creepy, never-ending tunnels and topsy-turvy, shadowy caverns.

Both Wolverine and Colossus are confronted by their dead selves, killed by S’ym, Belasco’s brutish lackey. The alternative Nightcrawler, meanwhile, has been perverted into a freaky little toady who has no qualms about touching Kitty inappropriately. (He's essentially the creepy, disturbing version of a Bamf.) Storm, meanwhile, is aided by an older, jaded version of herself. She’s also the one in charge of teleportation disks, which she uses to aid the X-Men:

Kitty’s casually waving skeleton always sends me

Storm is furious with what Belasco has wrought onto Kitty, her Mother Bear Instincts activating. She wants to give chase, but that’s when older!Storm intervenes. She warns Storm that this is a crossroads. In her variant universe, the X-Men chased after Belasco and it went badly for them: Wolverine and Colossus died, Nightcrawler turned evil and Storm became trapped in Limbo.

There’s no word of what happened to their Kitty or Illyana, but I think that’s because Limbo does not play by any of our regular rules. See, if Belasco wanted Illyana, wouldn't he have one now? But he doesn’t. So maybe Limbo is the Schrödinger’s place, where the X-Men both did and didn’t chase Belasco. Because if they didn’t give chase, they wouldn’t have the older Storm to tell them they shouldn’t give chase, which they end up not doing. But if they don't, there wouldn't be a Storm to warn them from not going, so they would. But they wouldn't.

Got that?

Just when older!Storm prepares to send them home, Belasco returns with an army of demons.

See? I told you that paying attention to that Fozzi-toy would pay off! (Wocka wocka)

And it ends there, with Illyana rescued from her nightmare, but with the promise of more darkness in her future.

I love how Chris Claremont takes a soap opera trope -- aging up a child in the shortest amount of time possible to an age where there’s more to do with them narratively -- and makes it fit into his crazy X-Universe.

And that’s it. Two relatively pared down stories where the normal rules of reality take a backseat: one to lift Illyana’s spirits, one to break her beyond belief. In a year that’s defined by space opera, these two stories have always stuck out to me, simply because of the way they break the mold of the X-Universe. More importantly, they've given us Magik. And Bamf!

Next up: Brood, Brood, Brood, and Shi'ar.

[godwithwethands]

Wait what's that about Anna-Louise Plowman being the reason for Cliff Simon taking the role on SG1?

Hahaha well I'm kinda exaggerating what Cliff said during that interview.

I transcripted it for you. (I did my best with it, the quality's not the best at all and English is not my first language so sorry if there are any mistakes/things I misunderstood!)

(also have some gifs because he's so cute during that itv)

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About 05.15 Summit:

Cliff: Who I've met before was the character of Yu.

Interviewer: Vince!

Cliff: Vince. He's a great guy, and um... I watched how he'd been playing Yu, for quite a while. And I thought, that is not how Ba'al can be. He cannot be like that. And... When he first walked into the room and he was talking to Daniel about "this one's done that, this one's done that" and then he got to Ba'al, "and this one's done that".

And then when we all sat down and um.. forgot the character's name now... Ummmumumumumm... The Girl.

Interviewer: Osiris.

Cliff: Osiris! Osiris walked in and then I thought, straight away, I have to start to play the sexual... thing of it, straight away! It just hit me! Because none of the others were doing it!

And I thought, you know what? I-- This is what I have to do! And I just felt it, I just felt it was the character, it was pretty weird! And I played it and I started smiling, started doing my thing... And it came across, completely! I saw it come across!

[...]

Because you know what, you play it as if it's real! A girl walks in. She has legs up to her neck. She's hot. You play it as... that! That's what it is ! And it comes across, y'know.

Interviewer: Was there a bit of... audition competition in the air? You were essentially aiming to please the audience the most to ensure your return. All these different System Lords. Did that come across when you were shooting this?

Cliff: Uh, yeah, in a way, it did. It was actually like being at an audition, a normal audition, where you walk in and people are curious to each other and they're like "hi, how’re you doing?" but... Once you're in, nobody sort of talks to anyone else. 

Y'know what I mean, that kinda thing. It did come across a bit, yep. 'Cause I think they all knew they were looking for new System Lords, all the actors that were in there. So they were all trying their best and doing what they can.

[...]

I think [the producers] saw I had a sense of humor. And why shoudn't an alien have a sense of humor? I think that was the main thing. I think I've put across some sexuality, and I've put across a sense of humor. And that made it in, that made the character interesting. All of a sudden, [the producer] was like "...We can go far, we can do a lot of stories with this guy, we can play on that."

And because of Richard Dean Anderson having that sense of humor, then they put us together in Abyss and it was like...

And it-- it just worked, so well. And from there it just, y'know. Carried on.

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So basically what I get from this is: Cliff Simon made Ba’al the Horny One™ because he thought Anne-Louise Plowman was super hot and the producers loved it so much they kept Ba’al. What else is there to say HAHAHA

I recommend you watch the whole interview if you haven’t, it’s old (I think it was shot just after Cliff shot The Quest with the rest of the team?) but gold!!! ♥

I hope this clears some things up jjkhgf