#and. needing the fact that i am an adult to be respected here bc being mature about liking people is important to me

[ale-arro]

thinking about a post i saw that was like "it's hard to use the word 'crush' as an alloaro bc people will automatically assume it's romantic" and i feel like i've recently been made to acknowledge another aspect of this which is that in distancing myself from the idea that my crushes are romantic i end up like, minimizing them? treating them like they're insignificant to me or weak in quantity because if i act too serious about it then it will be Assigned Romantic. but isn't that just more amatonormativity? the idea that if the feelings i have for someone are substantial then they must be romantic

[ianr36]

I will miss all of you but I think I’ve come to the conclusion that most here are bots. I really don’t get it! lol I will be deleting this app, and going old school face to face.

I’ve been nailed with requests for money looking over the fact that I’m looking for something real.

I feel sorry for all the fat short hairy guys with the little dicks that fall for this shit. You are the ones that are crying about being scammed so get to know them a bit -& ask some basic questions.

Also think with your head not your D. Not your ego. Be comfortable in your own skin. Have some discernment. The first question should be if most people in middle school have cell phones. Why do you not?

Q-Why don’t you have a mobile?

A-it broke, got stolen and the best one is it doesn’t matter. Lmfao!

(My kids have had one since 8?)

-I love you!

(Oh really? Even though we’ve never spoke)

-I’m not like the other girls.

(Yet you use the same script?) Holy wow!

Damn I imagine there are multiple call centers and as a business man I can respect that but as a human I cannot. So I cannot participate in this $hit! This is slavery and I can’t do it!

Both sides are being fed lies (bot, hooker or John) and it’s a shame that a platform that has the possibility to facilitate real change to occur, is being bulldozed by losers that don’t care about human lives.

Before you reply- please look at my previous posts regarding this and at a minimum let’s have some adult discourse

If you’ve gotten thus far, then you realize that I love humans I don’t care what gender you are. I fought for you in war multiple times.

You can say whatever you want whenever you want and I will always fight for that right for everyone.

Just don’t lie and try to play people that you don’t know- that this is a charade. it’s so easily identifiable.

Furthermore, why would you not want somebody to care for you? That’s intelligent enough to identify it if you were actually real? That’s a reasonable question right?

Let’s hear it? I want to think that a lot of you want true love, just cause I’ve been hurt before doesn’t mean I will be hurt again. That’s like someone trying to say that I tried to go in a business once and it didn’t work so I just gave up and went to slutting myself out.

If you just wanna slut yourself out there and treat yourself as a used tire-to each their own I’m all about that! Do what you do! I’m not a KIA.

But if you think for a moment that a guy who signed up to die for his country & opens doors for people and loves everyone no matter what can turn off the desire for wanting to spoil a special human, then please readiness that. Ffor anyone that is real on here and realizes that I am an open book and we could probably learn a lot from one another and grow together. I’m game for that conversation.. I feel so bad, but maybe I’m the one who needs to read more books! I’m game to talk for the next 24 hrs before I delete this app

But I have to be very upfront that I only like feminine women and that doesn’t matter what gender you were assigned to when you were born I don’t care bc I’ve dated models that are boring and numb and some girls that are amazing but I’m not desperate and I know my girl is out there.

(Sorry a lot of this was voice to text so if you have questions ask)

[lobotomy-lady]

you're a wannabe artist and domestic terrorist. do you ever meaningfully advance your goals in any fashion or do you just like to think about what it would be like if you did them? you impotently post about wanting to commit terrorism, and yet never do it. you're a thin veil of a person. youre a bad perfomance. you narrativise everything you do it's so transparent and embarrassing! lack of self awareness is the pinnacle of cringe. i can't believe I ever liked your blog.

This is...literally the most ridiculously parasocial ask I've ever gotten (which I'm sure you know is really saying smth, I don't know why I attract these type of followers but it is what it is). I am actually deeply fascinated by your perception of me & the fact that I'm apparently on your mind enough for you to feel betrayed & offended by me like this?? Wild. But anyways I'm just gonna respond earnestly bc I'm working a double rn, no one is in the center so I'm bored as shit but just know that this is the funniest thing I've ever received & I laughed for like 5 minutes before starting to type anything.

So like...first of all idk why this needs to be said but I am not in fact seriously aspiring to a life of terrorism-are you saying that bc I post about wanting to kill rapists but am not actually out there killing them?? You wouldn't know if I was bc I'm not an idiot who posts about committing felonies, secondly I'm a grown adult with a job & responsibilities to my family so I can't exactly go & throw my life away to become a vigilante for a few weeks then spend forever in jail.

As for the artist part, I mean...I write literally every day (& I talk about my various ongoing projects on here sometimes so idk how you missed that, real parasocials would know, sad!) so yeah I'm advancing in that respect lol. When I talk about my chronic procrastination it's usually me ignoring my novel for my screenplay ( which is much less likely to turn into anything by virtue of needing a producer investing hundreds of thousands of dollars rather than the option of just self publishing an e-book). I have a novel, two screenplays, & an album of songs that I'm almost done with, plus a ton of ideas for future projects I want to work on. If anything my problem is flittering between too many projects at once, if I could stick to one I'd have completed it by now lol.

Also if there's one thing I have in abundance it's self awareness! I'm literally the most self aware person on earth why do you think I refer to my dreams as delusional...it's bc I know being a famous writer/director is a crazy aspiration to have for a working class nobody with no money or connections. Why do you think I'm working as a crisis counselor & pursuing a career in the mental health field in the mean time? Backup plan!

[satanstruemistress]

I don't go here (aew) but I am so intrigued as to what's going on bc I've been seeing posts about it all day where I almost never have before 👀 👀 👀

That’s probably because of me lol. I’d apologize but honestly it’s so good.

Honestly, AEW is my favorite wrestling promotion right now, but people don’t seem to want to give it a chance, because they’re ride-or-die for WWE. And WWE is good! But it’s geared more toward kids, where AEW is geared more toward adults. Idk how much you know about wrestling in general, so I’ll explain the whole thing as thoroughly as possible :)

My favorite storylines right now are: Deranged Blond Cowboy and Afro-goth Vampire wannabe (Hangman Adam Page and Swerve Strickland, respectively) hate each other but are inexplicably unable to free themselves from each other. There’s been stabbings, breaking and entering, blood drinking, body stapling, hanging the cowboy with a chain, and the cowboy stabbing a needle into Swerve’s face.

They’re the fandom’s OTP somehow. (They deserve it). We want them to be tag team champions. They’re wrestling soulmates. (They work together super well, no matter if they’re feuding or a team.) There’s a whole playlist I’ve watched a few times on YouTube, that goes through the whole storyline so far. It’s fantastic.

And: “Blackpool Combat Club gets Poly Divorced, violently.”

There’s a lot of history there, but what it boils down to now is: Bryan Danielson, one of the best wrestlers in the world, ever, needs to retire. He’s got a neck issue that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later, but the owner of AEW wanted him to have one last hurrah, so he basically dragged him kicking and screaming into the storyline where he won the World Title from Swerve (my beloved Afro goth vampire). Danielson said he’s not going to just give up the title, he’s gonna fight until he physically couldn’t anymore, and THEN he’d retire from full-time action.

Danielson has a group he’s in, Blackpool Combat Club (BCC for short) with dudes he’s been friends with for a long time, that was started by their mentor, William Regal who is no longer with AEW. (His irl son is in WWE’s “developmental territory - the proving grounds before they actually go in front of approximately half a zillion people).

Danielson’s BCC buddy Jon Moxley came back from some time off and was like “Hey this isn’t your company anymore” and confused the shit out of fans and coworkers alike.

But anyway, the night Danielson successfully defended the AEW World Title for the first time, his BCC team mates Moxley, Claudio (they’re hard to tell apart at first, both tall bald white dudes) and their protégée Wheeler Yuta, along with “new recruits” The Bastard Pac, and scary lady Marina Shafir. They were celebrating. Smiles, kisses, and hugs all around. Pac even hugged Wheeler.

Which is when we knew something was going down. Pac is, in fact, a Bastard. He’s not a lovey/huggy man. He was holding Wheeler back while Claudio uppercutted Danielson which shook fans EVERYONE. And then Mox grabbed a plastic bag and tried to suffocate Danielson while Wheeler sobbed and cried out for Bryan whilst being held back by Pac and ineffectively comforted by Claudio.

Danielson was escorted out on a stretcher that night.

Blah blah blah, a week or so passes, and we see Wheeler…not doing well. At all. He’s dead-eyed, almost catatonic, but he’s using Danielson’s finisher to win matches.

BCC tries to get through to him, but he’s not interested. He’s sided with Bryan.

OR SO WE THOUGHT.

Last night, Mox won the title but wasn’t actually all that interested in the Big Prize. He shoved it into a bag. He and the rest of the BCC started beating the shit out of Danielson. But here comes Wheeler Yuta and another man named Darby Allin, to the rescue.

Darby and Wheeler chase them off, but Darby’s back is turned, and when he turns to check on Bryan, who was sitting in the corner behind Yuta, Yuta hit Darby with one of Bryan’s finishing moves called the Busaiku Knee.

I’m a little fuzzy on the direct actions, because I was busy staring open-mouthed at the screen, processing, but Darby ended up taped to the ring ropes, and Wheeler suffocated Danielson this time.

As he’s suffocating his mentor, his childhood hero, Wheeler is BEGGING him to stop fighting it. Just let go. Then a bunch of faces (good guys) run from the back, and finally help get them off him. Namely three dudes named Orange Cassidy, Hook, and Daniel Garcia.

Danielson was taken out on a stretcher. AGAIN.

Here’s fan theory: Mox, Claudio, Wheeler, and the rest of them still love Bryan Danielson. They’re doing this to protect him from himself so he doesn’t end up seriously hurting himself or worse. That’s how they got Wheeler to do what he did. None of them are happy about it, they’re not enjoying it. They just think it’s their only option.

But this is a story, it’s not real, so obviously we’re thinking that this is all Bryan’s doing. He’s KNOWN to be a devil who thrives on his fan’s horror. (Which is a positive thing in this business). We think that this, not the title, was his last big hurrah. THIS is how he wants to go out, setting his irl besties up for a MASSIVE heel (bad guy) run, while simultaneously setting up the guys that came running out to help him, to be the next big faces of the company.

…Anyway, yeah. AEW is fantastic. I highly recommend it. There’s also a lot of silly and fun storylines that won’t leave you traumatized lol.

ALSO TEN YEARS A MUTUAL HOLY SHIT.

[mamawasatesttube]

Kon-El questions 3, 7 and 16

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

hmmm. how do i put this. it's like... the way karl kesel treated him as a self-insert for his own teenage fantasy self or whatever sometimes. obviously this comes out in the way he gets preyed on by adult women and this is played off as cool and chill, but it also comes out in the way a) kesel writes his flirting. sometimes it's very endearing and cringefail, and other times he's kissing women without consent, and that's played off as chill and fine because kesel thinks it should be and the women in question almost always are fine with that, but also b) he writes off concerns about indigenous hawaiians in kon's narrative (like silver sword or ...man i'm forgetting that kid who gets jealous of him and has powers about it for a minute, but that narrative). and like. yeah. white man in the 90s wrote this for SURE. i don't think it's like, written in the absolute poorest taste imaginable, because there's a lot of ways where it seems almost like they were trying to be respectful of native hawaiian culture, but then there's shit that's so far off the mark it's like. dude. and it's very evident that it just reflects karl kesel's own views much more than any character in-narrative.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

lmaooo that's a toughie!!!! fanon kon at large is just. straight up not my boy. however there's a subset of fandom who leans into him being genderqueer/gnc/trans a lot more than canon ever has and i looove that. trans kon truthers lets go ♥

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

LORD. tim/ber/kon is the one that makes me roll my eyes hardest, alongside the rarer but no less irksome ber/kon. it's like... this is 100% not about kon as a character. this is about tim. ber/kon is almost funny in that it's entirely about tim but with tim himself cut out of the picture. but tim/ber/kon is just "let's take tim's most popular two fanon love interests and just shove all of them together!" and i have yet to see Anything even remotely try to convince me why kon and bernard should give a shit about each other. like, MAYBE you could sell it as a loooong slow burn, but i just. i don't see it man. putting the rest under a cut bc i AM gonna ramble about why i dislike it, so if you like tim/ber/kon or tim/ber and don't wanna see that, keep scrolling here👍!!

this is also partly bc i just... man i really wanted to like bernard and tim/ber but there's nothing there. i knew i didn't like rebirth tim characterization going in when i read tdr but i was hoping i'd at least find some crumbs. it's all just ... like there's no substance to it. there's no conflict, no character flaws, no "why do they even like each other???", no particular way they seem to help each other grow. it's just tropey "told, not shown" fluff where megfitz insists they are SO in love and perfect for each other, over and over, without backing that up really at all, and it just holds absolutely no appeal to me. and when it's just tim/ber i'm like yeah ok sure it's not my thing but whatever. but when people start trying to shove kon into there i'm like NO!!!!!! sdjkfhkd like im just SO unconvinced and it feels like such a great steaming heap of Nothing.

the main reason that is is that to me a relationship needs to have an arc. it can't just be stagnant. if there's no conflict, if there's no room for growth, if there's no development, it falls apart in my eyes. it doesn't feel like a real story about actual people. and as far as the tim/ber dynamic established in tdr, there's just. nothing. even the fact that bernard apparently somehow knows that tim is robin, which should be a HUGE source of conflict, is completely glossed over. it never comes up in any way.

like, we know that tim wants to tell people, but holds back out of a sense of duty. in robin '93, he agonizes about this with steph. but when bruce tells her his identity without his consent - which steph tells him bruce did immediately - he flips the fuck out!!!! he panics and runs away and he's furious with them both!!! so you'd ostensibly think that bernard knowing, and then not telling him he knows, would be sowing the seeds for an explosive conflict later down the line. especially because bernard now knows that tim is just. lying to him. all the time. shamelessly and blatantly lying through his teeth. and sure, it's for a good cause. right? but you'd think that in a relationship that's only just been established, just for a few months, that would also be offputting!! you'd think he'd start getting more and more unhappy that tim is just constantly lying to him and he knows it!! because he knows it about the robin secret, but what else might tim be lying to him about??? he knows now that tim has no qualms just lying to his face all the goddamn time, and he's... FINE with that???? there's this giant secret they're both dancing around and it's set up that there's just. N O T H I N G done with that. it drives me up the wall. i found this absolutely infuriating to read. both of them just being so one-dimensionally "oh we're in looooove so nothing else matters" that it erodes not only tim's specific characterization but bernard's ability to react like . idk. a human being? it just feels like running into dead end after dead end.

so yeah adding kon into that mix makes me want to tear my hair out bc it just feels SO surface-level. it's like... how much of him are you gonna shave off to fit him into this soulless, conflictless mold? it's like how i get annoyed when tim/kon fics ignore kon being genuinely really upset tim didn't share his identity with the team in yj98, but worse. because identity shit REALLY matters to kon. kon has never dated anyone who didn't know he was superboy. all of his civilian friends in sb11 know he's superboy. like, he does Not get close to people if he can't share that. it would be!!! a source!!! of conflict!!! but i've never seen Any ship content for tim/ber/kon that isn't just either completely declawed fluff that's just oh hehe tim has two boyfriends, or "kon angsting over tim dating someone else uwu" bullshit, which occasionally leads into completely declawed "tim has two boyfriends" fluff. it just does such a disservice to every character involved imo.

[otomes-and-tears]

Wondering what your thoughts and opinions are on the rest of the jerk squad boys, especially Nate?

Know that asking me this was a mistake because I’m RABID for them. I’m FOAMING at the mouth and shaking just at being asked to ramble about my boys because I am plagued by thoughts of them that I’m absolutely going to unleash upon you now.

This is not going to be coherent at all. I apologise for that.

By the way— since I already talk about Shiloh way too much, he’s not going to have his little section here. If you want to see my rambles about him, please check my masterlist!

I’m probably going to talk about Jeremy separately because…. I actually haven’t finished his route. It’s the only one that’s left.

Since you asked about him first, Nate is one of my favourite boys. I have a special place in my heart for him because he kind of reminds me of my girlfriend, and I do think that his dynamic with JB is one of the most entertaining in the bunch. He’s always snapping back at her and it’s so fucking funny. Every time they’re out together I keep getting this mental image of JB being strapped in a baby leash with Nate trailing behind her like an exhausted parent.

Like Shiloh, he’s also a character that I think about a LOT, particularly about the way he handles (or does not handle) his emotions and his obsessive need to have control over everything around him.

I think it’s really telling that Nate continuously strives for perfection and frequently neglects his own emotional needs when he practically raised himself, admittedly saw the school as his home, and when we know for a fact that he was seen and treated as a mini-adult throughout his life.

Like, you cannot tell me he wasn’t praised endlessly as a child for being independent and self-sufficient and then when he grew older people were constantly exasperated that he was too independent and didn’t know when to ask for help when needed! Nate is probably endlessly confused as to why something that was touted as being such a good trait for a good portion of his life suddenly became a problem.

Anyways, I think it’s kind of tragic how he spent most of his life at that school and I legit teared up when they graduated. It’s also very sweet how despite being a perv and living to make him uncomfortable, JB is surprisingly respectful of his boundaries regarding physical touch and doesn’t push him to kiss or hug her. Yeah, she teases him about missing the perfect moment but she’s happy to let him decide when he’s ready to do all of that!

It’s also nice that she tries to support him, even if she isn’t exactly good at it. SHE’S TRYING HER BEST BC THEY LEGIT LIKE EACH OTHER EVEN IF THEY BOTH HAVE ISSUES!!

Regarding Everett… I didn’t expect to like his route as much as I did, but he has SO MUCH ANGST POTENTIAL.

Like, his whole relationship with Nate? The fact that he’s a momma’s boy?? HE WAS REJECTED BY PRAN In like, the WORST way possible??

It’s just, chef’s kiss. A whole lotta angst wrapped inside a tiny, hipster-shaped package. Pure perfection.

My only issue with his route is that the whole time, I felt like JB was getting in between him and Nate. This is my headcanon, but I feel like after high school, if JB and Everett don’t immediately have an explosive, dramatic breakup there are only two possible routes: either he leaves her for Nate or they add Nate into the mix.

I’m sorry, but no other alternatives compute for me, not after their conversation in the tunnel of love. That shit goes way past just a codependent friendship.

I think I’ve mentioned this once before but Bae is likely my second favorite jerksquad guy. I can’t really explain why his condescension is so funny to me, but it might be because my favorite parts of the game were the group meetings and Bae’s borderline paternalistic attitude towards the other characters (because he’s mAtURE and knows what’s best for them) and his sarcasm made for some really great dialogue and some of the funniest scenes in my opinion.

Just as a side note— I played xoxo blood droplets and Bae’s route made me realize how much potential he has to be a yandere in an au! And now that I’m thinking about this I NEED to write about it. Even if it’s just headcanons or something.

I love him in game. I’d probably throw hands with him three minutes into a conversation if he existed IRL. I sent my girlfriend screenshots of his sons of his scenes while I played and she said that I was a bit like him. It made me reevaluate my life LOL

Okay so, I’m going to be real with you: Pran is my least favorite of the boys. I’ll admit that when I played through his route last year I kept complaining about not having that much fun and not liking him a lot as a character. My view changed as I got to the end of the game:

Pran’s is still my least favorite route but he’s one of the most interesting guys to analyze.

In the end, even if it took me a bit to get into it, I still ended up enjoying it immensely anyway.

I think what made me dislike him at first was that, ironically, I think that Pran as a character works best in group scenes. He’s a contrarian and he’s very quiet most of the time, which makes his very occasional interjections some of the funniest moments in the meetings, but that’s also why I didn’t find his dates as fun LOL

I think that with the other characters I had a better time because how they played off JB during their dates, while with Pran it was funny to see JB trying so hard to engage with him or get a rise out of him just for him to barely react (and it makes the instances where she does manage to catch him off guard very rewarding) on the first few times, but it started to get old for me. There’s only so many times I can hear him say no, and that he doesn’t care before it gets annoying.

For me the highlight of his route was seeing Shiloh have a weird, one-sided beef with him. Shiloh pretends to like everyone but this is where he draws the line apparently 😭

Anyways, you might be wondering why I said he’s one of my favourites to analyse if I didn’t have much fun playing through his route. That’s mostly because of his backstory, which I genuinely find to be fascinating.

He’s basically a textbook example of avoidant attachment, which is due to the severe neglect he suffered as a child. Honestly, I could make a whole post about this alone if anyone is interested.

That coupled with having to adopt a mentality where nothing he ever did or said was ever right, because either his parents or grandparents would get upset, which led to him always being quiet or choosing the contrarian option, and you get a pretty fascinating character to think about. It’s interesting to examine his relationships through this lense: it makes complete sense that Pran has a difficult time engaging with JB and connecting to her emotional needs. The few relationships he has maintained exist out of necessity! And he tries so hard to push her away, in the same way he pushed everyone else away, but she just refuses to leave. Refuses to accept defeat. She’s fully determined to figure him out and make their weirdass relationship work and it’s something I admire JB for. That girl is a TROOPER.

[sol-consort]

Who is a non romancable npc that you would've liked to romance in each game?

I want to fuck Admiral Hackett.

Man, it feels good getting it out there, you feel me? These things are good for you.

Anyway, so.

ME1

Wrex

didn't know much about korgans at the time and just thought they were the hottest thing alive. Especially that stare down Wrex and Shepard have when they first meet each other in the C-sec station and he's throwing his weight everywhere and not giving a single fuck about the cops trying to arrest him.

Are Korgans just not attracted to humans? He never makes a move on you. Ever. They're clearly into asari and we're not that far off.

In the first game, he was the only one to not respect Shepard from the start. It's kinda hot, yk? He was this mysterious edgy person with a jaded view on his race, and we were this hopeful human who wanted to encourage him to reunite the koragns. I wanted to have a slobby makeout session with him filled with teeth after his personal mission.

.

Nihlus

Listen to me. It was love at first sight. I still remember it so clearly when you talk to him in the prologue where he questions you about Eden Prime. The fact he was the one to recommend Shepard to the council as a spectre too is just the topping on the cake.

I think he was into us, as a human. Like everyone on the ship clearly was weary of him because of how fresh the first contact war was, and Shepard is the only friendly person to him besides Anderson.

My Ideal romance would've been us saving him from Saren then being a mentor and student kinda of ordeal? Like at a certian point we surpass him in power while sparring and he looks so proud of us and we lean in for the kiss and he doesn't pull away.

A Turian and a human romance would've been so scandalous on the first game bc of again, contact war. It would've been the perfect drama.

.

Doctor Chakwas.

You can't tell me that you didn't think about it! She is the only person taking care of everyone on this damn ship. We're in the middle of fuck off space clumsily stumbling our way into shootouts and coming out with bullets in godforsaken places!

She's the one that patches you up while scolding you for being so reckless. She can abandon protocols and formality as much as she likes because she's your doctor and has a right to! She can order a whole admiral around.

It doesn't help how she opens up to us about her fantasies in her youth of being this cute doctor and patching up wounded soldiers with stars in their eyes and living the romance dream. The game is begging you to make her dream a reality and give this older woman the true romantic experience she has been dreaming of!

.

Captain Anderson

Listen to me. Listen. No no come back. Come here!

I am an adult, you are an adult. We are adults. He is a very hot adult that I want to do unspeakable things to.

I'm just saying!!! I didn't know anything about him becoming Shepard's parental figure in ME2 and ME3.

So when I first met him in ME1 I was like oh. Are we about to...have a superior forbidden army romance situation? Am I your sugar baby? Golden trophy soldier? Why do you like me so much and treat me with so much favouritism? Are we doing it on the down low behind closed doors?

But no. They take him away from me like immediately afterwards and burst my bubble of fantasy. I forget about him for the rest of the game then I meet him at the end but it doesn't hit the same vibe it did at the start.

He just admires and respects Shepard. Nothing else :(

My romance and fantasy with him was very short lived and now he is more of a stand in parental figure.

.

ME2

The Illusive man

He is obsessed. Literally every interaction with him made me feel so giddy inside afterwards. It's like he gets off on just being near you and doesn't ask for nothing else. He is like a sugar daddy without the needed sugar.

And the "Cerberus allowance" credits money that you get after each missions just increasing in numbers didn't help. You report to him after every mission and he gives you more and more money. It almost makes you feel dirty in a good way.

Like based on his shadowbroker intel, he has the best escorts and strippers in the galaxy that he frequents. Yet it is you that he spends the most money on and you don't even have to put out or show a shoulder. It's not like a mercenary job either because one of his requirements is seeing you and talking to you, stalking you even.

Your meer existence gives him a rush and he keeps paying you for it, just to be allowed to witness you being you. I wish there was an evil romance option route where you go full human supremacy and agree with his evil plans to control the reapers and the last scene is like Shepard sitting on his lap in that room with the orange blue star.

I want that romance to be creepy and clearly self-serving. That both of them are using each other to get their own needs. There is no love involved, just obsession and hunger for power.

.

Legion

They wear a piece of your armour, they have a hole where their heart should be. They clearly look up to you so hopelessly with admiration.

And you're the first organic to treat them with kindness, show them warmth, help give them a name. You're everything they imagine love to be and more and they literally cannot process it. They can't comprehend the feelings they're feeling, they only know it's all consuming and they're short-circuiting around you.

It would've been a very fluffy and sweet romance where you really push the limit of the geth having a soul. To have a soul is to love, even if it's not romantic love.

But as a romance between you too, I feel like Legion having a scene where they pluck a small flower from the ground to present to you is everything. But then the flower gets crumbled in their iron grip and they look all dejected and sad.

You gently taking it and still thanking them for it, maybe putting the flower in the hole in their chest after giving it a small kiss. I have so many ideas, Legion deserves so much softness.

.

Aria

I don't think she'd allow a full romance, but we definitely would've had a complicated relationship. Both dominiating and ruling their own corners of the galaxy, yours just happened to be a moving ship.

It's like a ruthless queen and a faithful soldier. She could've made Shepard worse, you could've made her better. It's a very complicated love and hate relationship, a constant power play.

You send her Valentine's gifts that she claims to have thrown away, but you see her snacking on the box of chocolates that you got her the next time you visit. Threatening to cut someone's hand off because they asked for a piece.

She always tells you to go find someone cute to spend the night with but all of her strippers know better than to flirt with you. Aria warned all of them that you're off limit and no one even dares looks into your eyes.

Hell the fact she got a whole bartender to give you drinks for free after the last one tried to poison you? God that's hot.

But emphasis on complicated. Neither of you are willing to step down from your thrones and serve the other. She wants you on a leash like a dog at her side, you want to weild her like a dagger against your enemies throats.

Both of you were made for freedom and only deal with people who obey all of your orders. The two of you can never have a peaceful relationship because you're constantly at each other's throats but the attraction and tension is so thick in the air to deny.

.

ME3

Admiral Hackett

I don't have any excuse. I only started getting attracted to him during this game when we kept having constant communication with him.

He just...is very calm? Includes Shepard a lot and is very patient and wise. Steering you into the right direction and reminding you of the greater purpose you all serve.

But also he is down to earth in his own way, it feels intimate for him to call you just Shepard. Look at you with such eyes that have seen everything, it's like he is the single person that understands what you're going through in this, the single person to share your burden in all of this.

Because Anderson can't relate to Shepard in the way Shepard is supposed to be invincible steel, the way Shepard is supposed to be the unbreakable hero. But Hackett feels like he can relate to you in that way, like he too was in your shoes once and knows how lonely it must be.

How each relationship you have will always have a hallow emptiness inside because you can never be equal to someone. Each person you date will always see the commander Shepard before seeing you, the world will fall for your mask and not the one wearing it.

Except Admiral Hackett. It's like he can see behind the mask. He can see behind the titles and spectre status and the medals. He sees you as the little thing you are, so tired and exhausted from carrying the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, you poor thing.

He's very caring in a way, no matter what wrongs you've done. He's very understanding too.

In ME2, he asks you for a favour and contacts you to help him. YOU! he asks YOU while you were a traitor working for Cerberus. god, the amount of trust he has in you.

Not to mention that he was actively stalling the alliance when it came to charging you for crimes for allying with Cerberus even before the whole favour DLC thing. In the Shadowbroker messages you can find him telling his subordinates "Negative" when they asked to finally bring you in.

It's also how commanding he is with just a single word? He does it twice. Once in the battle of Saren in ME1 when the alliance ships are beginning to retreat and he calmly refuses and tells them to move ahead.

And in ME2 where his subordinates write a long ass email on why you should be charged with treason but his literal only response is "negative."

His words carry such weight to them, fuck. It's so attractive the power and authority he casually throws around. Actually casually doing it unlike the illusive man who makes a point to show off to you. Hackett has nothing to prove and no one to impress.

The only person to view the commander Shepard as a fragile thing. The only person to understand what you're going through. The only person to realise what's truly at stakes here. How can I not want to be with him?

But with you he talks longer, he explains himself and line of thinking more. He doesn't treat you with the same strict attitude he gives to other soldiers. It's clear favouritism where he is gentler with you, softer like you're a fragile thing that might crack if someone even raised their voice at you.

Not to mention the whole "why pick me?" Dialogue option you get to ask him. On why he puts so much faith in you. Why he is always on your side.

And you get a straight answer for once. It's because you have this magical pull on people that gets them to work together, you were made to be a leader. It's easy to pay a merc to shoot a gun for you, but you cannot pay them for their loyality to follow you into hell twice. Yet you have that effect on people and he clearly sees your true skills that the others are blind to.

.

I have more, like James Vega, Samara, Mordin, Joker, EDI, Conrad verner, Saren, Sovereign, Kai Leng and Eve.

But I've written a lot, maybe for another time! Thanks for asking this, btw <3

[hisbutler-problematic]

On the topic of Sebastian being completely enthralled about everything Ciel is, I personally love it so much more knowing manga context, because O!Ciel was the 'spare'. He was not supposed to carry the family nane and, frankly, people didn't think he'd be capable of it due to his poor health anyway (Remember Frances and Vincent's conversation in the flashback chapters? It's obvious O!Ciel was quite saddened by what he heard).

By all means, in a twisted way, Sebastian might just be the first person to regard O!Ciel as someone deeply capable, a shiny singularity that doesn't live in anyone's shadow. The adults around him were - tho not unrightfully - seeing his fragility first and foremost while his brother, despite seeing him as worthy, didn't wish for him to leave and forge his own path. R!Ciel's reaction came from childishness sure, but that isn't to say that it didn't feed into the idea that O!Ciel was 'his backup'.

Going off from this, Sebastian is also the one thing in his life and is irrevocably his. Again, twisted, but all O!Ciel built has been under another's name. The manor, the company, the engagement etc. None of them truly his, but his brother's. And the other servants? They are loyal, however ultimately their own people. Sebastian? In an entirely different spot. He'll be there until the end after all.

This is an aspect of their relationship that tugs at my heartstrings so much. It's so toxic and depressing yet strangely soft and tender somewhat at least to me.

Sorry, I just really wanted to pour my thoughts and I appreciate your posts. So here I am!

anon, i’m in love with you

i literally think about this all the time like. that conversation frances and vincent had? imo vincent just flippantly saying "i guess ill just have to give the estate back to the queen lmao" could be taken 2 ways which is: at face value OR (what i think is more likely) vincent just saying what he knows will piss frances off to get her to stop talking. tbh vincent seems like a good dad imo and like he doesnt super underestimate o!ciel (he seemed absolutely fine with the idea of o!ciel going off to london by himself and opening a toy store in the future), but he DOES know that o!ciel is frail and sickly, and it makes me wonder how seriously he considered the idea that o!ciel might inherent the title of the queen's watchdog.

honestly, i feel in some respects, r!ciel treats o!ciel more carefully than their parents. he very much has an attitude of "my baby brother NEEDS me, he cannot survive without me!!" (gasps and shock, to learn it is actually the other way around /s)

all this to say, whether you lean more towards my interpretation or yours, or a fun mix, or whatever, it is undeniable that all of o!ciel's relationships were 'tainted' (for lack of a better term) by his illness and the way it made others view him and treat him.

AND THEN COMES SEBASTIAN

sebastian, who takes one look at o!ciel, and goes "lmao what a fucked up lil dude. time for little a snacky". sebastian, who then sits down to forge a contract with said little dude only to realize Oh Okay So This Child Is Clever. And o!ciel being sickly does kind of come up when they're making the contract, but sebastian focuses more on the actual logistics of that and o!ciel says 'nvm we'll deal w it when it comes up' (which is hilarious imo. he really said a sudden chill can put me on my deathbed but thats a problem for future me).

and then it turns out o!ciel is hella sheltered. but also a huge bitch.

and at this point, all i can assume is sebastian is so bewildered by this experience that the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly and fragile is like. just another thing about this kid. o!ciel has never made sebastian's life easy and it would be stupid to think he would start now, sebastian thinks as his young master suffers from yet another cold just bc it rained yesterday. "i never knew you had asthma" says sebastian, who has read every medical journal to date on chest colds. "you never asked," says the bane of sebastian's existence.

and the thing is you can say "sebastian is only worried about o!ciel bc if o!ciel dies, he loses his meal" which is true and accurate and tbh if i was sebastian and i had put up w that much, i wouldn't want to lose my meal to a mere cough.

BUT ALSO

then you see the way sebastian is so fascinated and intrigued and bewitched by o!ciel. i think to sebastian the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly is just another contradiction in the sea of contradictions that makes o!ciel so fascinating. and i think sebastian is the only one who really sees all those contradictions, he's the only one who sees everything that makes up o!ciel. and he loves what he finds.

(not to mention the fact that sebastian is the only person o!ciel allows to see his every aspect. or, well, some he tries to hide, but only because he thinks sebastian will try to use something against him. either way, sebastian is still the only person who he lets see the most of him. because sebastian is the only person who knows who he really is, who he doesnt have to put up a front for. he doesn't have to pretend to be his brother, he doesn't have to worry about being the spare.)

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

[witch128chick]

Guys it's time for the episode that i hold so close to my heart

Escaping Expulsion

This episode means a lot to me. It's about gaining back some sense of control over your own life and my journey with that is just awful as Amity's (if i can say that)

So what if we start shall we?

Odalia talking to Amity through that necklace is basically the metaphor (???) of your authority figure's voice in your head. It still haunts me to this day even tho i can make my own decisions. But that doesn't mean my mom's voice isn't echoing in my head making me reconsider every single decision i make like a hundred times and the only thing that seems to help is to convince myself that she's aware that i'm an adult and even if she doesn't like what i do she can't really do anything about it. (It's true for the most part at least)

(Sorry for the rant i'll do it again)

I don't really think this needs an explanation

I mean bitch you expect your daughter to get beaten up by your mechas and she didn't even say anything until now, she was putting up with it. Give her a damn break

I'm so proud of her 😭 look at her be so happy to teach Eda and Lilith everything she knows!

Silly billies T_T i love them

Okay.. okay i'll tell my story relating to this. I'm not gonna go into detail but i had this massive crush on a guy in 7th grade (he was in the graduating class so basically 6 years older than me and i have sm respect for him now that he didn't do anything and just ignored me or was nice when he had to be instead of using my naivety and teenage crush) anyway we were both in the school choir (yes i joined bc i figured he was there too..) and there was like a little gathering for the whole choir before graduation and we could bring a flower to someone who would graduate that year if we wanted to. And... yes i bought a fucking flower and gave it to him. (Almost didn't but i was like "fuck it imma do it if i prepared sm) AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME THIS ISN'T THE EXACT SAME SITUATION!!! bc it is. So Amity, darling, ik what you're going through

(Side note: i had to learn that my past crushes don't invalidate the fact that i identity as a lesbian now. Yes i thought i was straight and no i didn't really have any source i could inform myself about being gay. But now that ik i am, it scares the living shit out of me but we have a saying here: "hope dies last" so yea i hope everything will be fine)

This whole scene is painful. Amity is DREADING her mom and omg- WHAT DID YOU PUT THAT CHILD THROUGH

Yes Luz me too

"Life is just so dull without them!" *everyone after the show ended*

But wdym it ended...? We're only at the beginning of s2!!!

She's come a long way and she's just STARTED

Iconic quoteeee 😭🤌🏼

Not much is left but i'm not finished yet! So check back in a few minutes if you want

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog 6: analsysising harder

I am having a finals' nightmare week in university, but finally found the time to sit down and relax, so here's to episode 3.

He's so supportive. For all his faults as a father, (like the fact that Joris might not be able to read yet in here, despite seemingly being pretty ready to be taught how to, as was pointed out to me by @dullard during our separate rewatch from this rewatch) the fact that Joris can sell things at the market all by himself at 7yo and knows what a commission is, is actually really cool. Good job, Keke! This once, I will not kill you with hammers.

Do start teaching your son to read/write soon. Please. Please.

ANALYSIS EVENT LEVEL 10 ALARM WEE WOO WEE WOO. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS.

Joris is seven years old. Kerubim was, by his own words, "barely older than him," during his confirmation ceremony at the Orphan Temple. Can we actually ask what Kerubim Crepin was doing, at seven years old, in the orphan temple??

As we know from Dofus Heroes Kerubim comic, he was busy being an orphan, plotting to resurrect his parents, (either adoptive, or step-father and biological-mother. It doesn't really matter !) and being sad, to the point that, as an adult, even while amnesiac, he empathizes greatly with a stray kitten.

Having dreams of not wanting to be lonely, projecting his loneliness onto stray animals... It's the reason why he's afraid of showing people that he's weak and driving them away, and what makes him a compulsive liar, as I've pointed out in the last post. He can't bear being alone.

No wonder, then, that despite being old, and having a decrepit house, he didn't try to find Joris a better home. It would be a betrayal of his own ideals of protecting children from what he went through. It would mean that someone so similar to him would, too, be all alone. And, a bit more selfishly, he does need someone by his side.

I would point out, that Atcham was in the temple, implied to be mistreated, that they are both full brothers who grew up in the same family, and that him and Kerubim didn't have the best relationship even as kids, — with Bashi also disliking Atcham heavily, for unstated reasons, — and how it all might tie into Kerubim also adoptng Joris out of guilt, because he feels like he might end up like Atcham, but I don't have ten hours.

And also bc Atcham doesn't appear often, and I am mostly delusional about this.

Kerubim avoids mentioning Atcham or any of his adventures in Brakmar, so... man just give us anything to work with.

Despite Keke playing it off now, he really didn't have an easy childhood.

For all the times I say he's a bad dad, or that I want to beat him up, it is all in jest. I think he's a very tragic character who was just... never really given a chance to develop a healthy way of interacting with the world.

And for what it's worth, he grew up to be as decent of a person he could have, and did the best he could, at becoming a family with Joris and raising him, as flawed and uneven as it is.

He really just wants this kid to have a good childhood, or an approximation of one, with no violence, loneliness, or fear he went through — and it's all going to be ruined in the movie, isn't it?

It won't stop me from joking about beating him up in the future of this blog, but I wanted to make my stance clear. No non-joking slander of Kerubim in this household. Ever.

I think he was scared shitless of having a deadly quest here, but HAD to pretend he wasn't, for the public. He looks happier now than seconds ago in the queue line, lol.

Low self-esteem can result in seeking attention through being loud and obnoxious, as well as a fear of embarrassment, so, it checks out. Lying is a likely thing for Kerubim to do, and I love and respect him for it.

His immediate reaction to being embarrassed by getting a clothespin, and made fun of, as audience laughs? Double down, baby! Though, his angry facade doesn't last until the end of the line. He's just... looking sadly to the side.

By the way, considering he's only a bit older than seven, the "I've been training for years" is a bit haunting.

Do you know who DOES deserve to get beaten with hammers for real, non-ironically? The god Ecaflip. Can I get an amen?

No wonder, Kerubim coddled Joris and wanted his life to be better! His life sucked!

Of all the things not to lie about, he seemed not to lie about being trained. Doesn't stop him from being beaten up, though...

We have to beat God Ecaflip with hammers. There is no other way.

For all his cockiness, he's so stressed out. His facade is so, so ruined, the second he realizes his plan is not working.

Really, this whole scene puts their relationship together the best. He's a God, holding Kerubim, a 7-9yo orphan, on a tiny string.

His whole life, Ecaflip just belittles him over some random bullshit, makes him hate his brother for being bald, and then gives him a gambling addiction before putting him into a mental asylum to treat it. All of that because he loves him that much.

We have to kill him. There is no other way. I may be a wakfu season 3 hater, but Oropo was right.

Yay, trauma bonding, in its correct definition!

If my whole family died, and a god cared so much about me, he made me the protagonist of various sad cringe stories of overcoming personal adversities mostly caused BY him, I too, would develop some sort of complex to cope. So I get it.

But I feel like, even if Kerubim will never voice it out loud, considering what repercussions may follow, deep down he knows that Ecaflip himself is one of the reasons for his loneliness, and that most of all, he's scared of him.

[fairiepunk]

What kind of advice would you give to young queer teenagers?

I apologize for answering this so late- I am just now seeing it.

First, prioritize your safety. As queer people, our very existence is radical, and if you have that drive to be who you are in the face of those who hate you, by all means- do it. Don’t put yourself in unsafe circumstances to do it, though. If coming out to your parents is likely to get you kicked out, don’t come out yet. If coming out to your friends from church is likely to get you in conversion therapy, don’t do it yet. I do not want to encourage anyone to be inauthentic, but if you need to wait to come out for your survival, please wait.

Second, I want to stress that if you’re in a place where you’re being misgendered, you’re unable to present yourself how you want, and/or you’re unable to date who you want, this will not be the case forever. I’ll be real with you: I’m a few weeks shy of 23, and life is ROUGH but I would never go back to the days where I wasn’t respected by those around me. You’re going to reach this point one day, too.

Please do what you can to access comprehensive sex-Ed resources. I suggest the Planned Parenthood website. This goes for all teens, but especially queer teens, bc I know many of the ways I had sex as a teen were not discussed in health class.

I want to touch on something here that many queer people have a hard time really talking about, but it needs to be said: queer teens (especially within queerphobic communities) are often the targets of predatory queer adults. No, I do not mean this in the “trans people are grooming minors” way, but the fact of the matter is, when someone is vulnerable, looking for connection, and is unable to trust other adults in their life, they become an easy target. I was groomed as a teen. Many of my friends were groomed as teens. As such, I encourage you to be aware of any warning signs of grooming, and always tell someone safe if you notice those warning signs.

I think that’s all I got off the top of my head, but if you have any more specific questions, feel free to send me a message. I generally am not okay with minors viewing my blog, but I know queer youth need support more than ever right now, so I will try to offer that support and keep my blog clean.

[peachy-lemon83]

Spoilers for

Criminal Minds S14 Finale and just like all of S15 story wise

“I needed to say something to catch his attention… and to catch your attention”

JJ… man was focused the whole time, never once was he not taking in your reaction and how the unsub was reacting to everything. Trust me man was paying atttention. Like he wasn’t just staring it down like in S14 E1 “300” no he was observing everyone and he was planning, not coming up with connections, lost in his own big brain.

(Also not them starting the season with JJ talking to Emily about how Reid asked her on a date and she misinterpreted as a hangout. Her and Emily both laughing bc wow that’s something and really started the trio of JJ, Garcia, and Reid…

And then proceeding to end with JJ confessing that she loves him…. Like what and this messes with their duo so much like whyyyy would you throw out that friendship!!!)

Also I’m not appreciating 1) Dave Rossi going pop off solo in this 2) the fact that Reid was aware to come in and talk to Rossi about their difference of opinions and come to same conclusion while Emily completely shuts Rossi down… especially when he was trying to communicate (when he very well was not doing earlier in the episode…)

Also only Reid double checking on JJ T-T

my heart

Like rough time all around with these two…

Also I feel like this awkwardness honestly takes away from this being a huge time where JJ was injured and on her own with the unsub instead of Reid. And they took a killer agent out of the field by leaving Reid over JJ. Also Reid being so respectful to Will and trying so hard to like you know not have this whole thing effect anything. And immediately apologizing and litteraly just speaking and poor baby Reid doesn’t know how to explain emotion and ahhhh him crying.

OMG SO I FURSY THOUGHT REID WHISPERED

“I’m still in love with you” but I turned on the subtitles (LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON WTF MAN) and he said “I don’t want to lose you” he doesn’t care that her telling him made him hurt, he cares that she won’t leave T-T

Also why tf is Reid being pulled 30 directions like 70% of the time hmmmmmm MGG you got some words for that, was that you to??? (THO I LOVE MY TRAUMATIZED BOI SO I AM ALSO GRATEFUL FOR THE ADVOCATING OF REID JUST SUFFERING AND THEM BEING LIKE YEAH AND ITS SO WELL DONE

also ft fans “Reid suffers so much, like give him so peace please!”

And then fanfic writers go “I’m sorry what? Oh you want him to hurt more! Yeah we can do that!!”

I’m here for all versions suffering and fluffy Reid)

“As precious time for both of us” awwww ma’am I’m gonna you to put more of the good stuff thrown at him plz, just toss that positive vibe/outlook

My heart

Both at Reid wanting to be “selfish” with his mother

And poor Grace (y’all are getting my reactions bc damn I forgot everything but what happens to Reid latter…)

Also I like due at this

“I don’t know who I am in this who if not your son, if I’m not protecting you” just tears

Truly a protector like they said in the “300” (can we tell I love that episode)

“You’re an adult now” “what does that mean” me too man me too

Ahdhfjfjdfj how did I forget this gold mine here!!!

[startledstoat]

i’m literally just pointing out that people in the fandom have noticed that the apparent standard in their fanart is hourglass figure, 0% body fat, massive thigh gap lol. i am obviously not hating on those bodies (that is literally what i look like!!!), just wondering why none of their characters have any sort of meat on their bones, especially regulus who canonically looks to be at least mid-sized

with what you said about remus - i agree! my favourite fics are the ones that delve into his body image and eating disorder as a result of his lycanthropy. with regulus, i don’t like it as much, mainly because people (cough cough jegulus writers) use it as a way to be like “well yes he was a massive racist prejudiced death eater voldemort fanatic but he had an eating disorder :((((( so it isn’t his fault he needs jamie to come save his wittle self :((((“

anyways thank you for your nuanced response i do appreciate actually debating with people on here instead of people just going “SKINNYPHOBIC AND MEAN LMFAO” which is like. yes maybe i am mean but skinnyphobic?? 😭

Love that you responded nicely!

When I think of Reg with those HCs I think of the EDs going along with the trans Reg idea, stemming from his body dysphoria and also having to do with him being raised with the pressure of being an upper-class pureblood "girl" who was expected to be the picture of flawless beauty, which would've been a very toxic beauty standard for someone in that position during that time (flat stomach, thigh gap, hourglass waist, full hips and chest). This is definitely not a HC that works for everyone, expecially those who don't HC Regulus to have been abused in his childhood or don't HC him to be trans.

The addiction is a separate HC and I'm not saying your take on it is wrong but my thoughts on it are a bit different. It's more what I think would have come around the same time he started realizing that he was on the very wrong side of the war and wanted out but couldn't see a way that he realistically could get out bc Voldemort isn't a dude you just go up to like "yeah man listen we had a good run but now I'm realizing that this is so much more fucked up than I thought and now I don't wanna be part of it anymore". (I like to think that he didn't betray Voldemort just because of what happened to Kreacher, but more like his doubts and fears were building up for a while and Kreacher being tortured was just the last straw)This guilt and self loathing that would likely have ensued would have been a very slippery slope, especially when paired with the pressure of being the new heir following Sirius being disowned and their father dying as well as the trauma from his potentially abusive childhood, I think he could have turned to things like calming draughts and dreamless sleep to initially calm his nerves and moods, but then fell in too deep. And it's fine that you don't like that as much! As long as you're being respectful to the people that do, because it's not a HC that's harmful to any real life people.

His redemption arc, both the canon and the fanon parts, definitely don't just erase the fact that he was a death eater that likely tortured and killed people, but the fact that he tried to do the right thing in the end does count for something. Not to mention that he was literally a teenager that was raised in that environment and was taught nothing else until age 11 when he went to hogwarts. 11 years of one type of propoganda being taught to him, during his developmental years no less, doesn't just go away. Yeah he was 18, and as a 19 year old myself I can say that he was both old enough to have learned right from wrong as he went through school, but still young enough that it's perfectly normal for him to have been terrified of turning his back on the family he knew and outright defying a genuinely horrifying maniac that killed people for fun. 18 is still a child in so many ways even if it's also an adult in some other ways.

It's unrealistic to think that Sirius and Andromeda didn't struggle themselves with nature vs nurture when they first started being taught other things in hogwarts and started hanging around other people, even if we wanna say that they were morally perfect right from the beginning and didn't have any internalized prejudices to work through.

I got off track lmao but anyway

I've actually noticed that more artists now draw plus sized characters than there used to be, and maybe that's still not a lot, but it's not a change that's going to happen overnight. It's like the difference between white james in older fanarts and indian james in newer ones. HCs come and go, and I do really hope more people get on the plus sized characters idea because I think it's great, but even people who do share that idea are still going to have different ideas of which characters it fits based on their own HCs.

The most important thing is that characters who are plus sized in canon stay that way in fanon. Characters who were never given a specified body type in canon (or maybe were specified to be skinny but not given a real reason to be skinny) are fair game for however people want to think of them.

[ghostingcrows]

Like it or not Keath doesn't get to control what other people think about their characters/what art gets made.

They chose to display these things publicly. The only thing they have a right to ask is that the people who draw/write the things they don't like won't send their work to them/tag them in it/that it'll be tagged appropriately so they can filter and block as needed.

They don't get to go full Anne Rice like they did on Twitter and ask people to actually police each other's work and report it to get copyright striked (which btw they have no legal right to do bc fanworks are transformative and fall under fair use).

If they weren't prepared to enforce their boundaries reasonably and legally then they shouldn't have put themselves in the public eye this way.

The fact remains that their discomfort is valid but censorship isn't. Any reaction they have to their emotions has to happen within legal boundaries (not trying to enforce a law that doesn't apply here to avoid potentially seeing something they'll find upsetting) and reasonable expectations.

I mean how are you going to ask thousands of people you don't know not to do something just because if you see it you'll be upset? Where does that end? Do people get to ask e/o not to wear clothes they find upsetting to look at or eat food they find gross in public or can we all admit this is kind of not how being a person works? Learn to curate your own experience and avoid things you don't want to see instead of expecting everyone around you to take responsibility for your emotions. You're not a toddler, Keath, you're a fucking adult and you need to act like it.

I mean I really really hate foot fetishes but I wouldn't try to get them scrubbed from the internet if people made them with my characters- in fact I've accepted that this has almost certainly happened already, and I'd just remember that block buttons were invented for exactly this reason.

Oh and before you even start on the assumptions:

- I haven't even seen the art they're complaining about and probably wouldn't like it myself

- The Chappell thing is another matter entirely and idk why you thought they belonged in the same post/are at all related issues. One is about a woman wanting the freedom to go out in public without being physically assaulted or harassed. The other is about a grown adult getting mad that they willingly posted something publicly in an internet they have presumably known things about already and as a result can't control who sees it or how they react. I mean ffs Keath can eliminate this whole problem by turning off their computer/phone/whatever and whatever they were upset about is gone. Chappell is having psychos call her parents and sexually assault her in public. What sane person thinks those are comparable?

Good lord-

Alright first off I included Chappell Roan because I was specifically thinking about people complaining about her cancelling her appearance at the music festival and being absolute assholes to her despite the fact she doesn't have to perform or share her art with us especially not when we are being assholes

Also

Don't fucking mansplain womens freedom to exist in public to me I am very much AFAB and have been harassed both verbally and physically in school and in public since I was in elementary school

And with Yaelokre

Thats not what censorship is you chronically online fuck stick

Yaelokre making the simple request that people treat them and their creations, which again are a PRIVILEGE for us to see and engage with ourselves, with a bare level minimum of respect is not fucking censorship

Yaelokre is not the fucking government and as you said they can't enforce it beyond blocking people

But they are still allowed to request people not be weird about it and be upset by people making absolutely horrible gross jokes about assaulting their characters

I'm not entirely sure when we decided that saying shit like that was normal and okay and not an absolutely bat shit insane thing to say to ANYONE much less someone you don't know but it IS

[uncomfortableyoutuberthrowaway]

Hi everbody this is my throwaway. I already gave a lot of details but there's still some questions that need to be answered so here I am.

To start, no, I didn't send the fic to the YTber herself, but to the ex-friend, who proceeded to send it to the YTber. I don't believe she is the asshole for sending the YT the fanfic, since when I initially presented it to her, I pretended that it was written by somebody else. We stopped being friends for entirely different reasons that aren't relevant here, but yeah she's not to blame for this.

As for what was in the fanfic, it was basically a femslash fic between my favorite character and her girlfriend in canon and essentially dealt with a character who is the villain in canon trying to break up their relationship. I won't deny that the fic was dark and contained violence and stuff like that, but the original story also includes dark stuff and violence so I didn't think it was a problem. Think like if someone wrote a dark fic of The Walking Dead or Tokyo Ghoul, it was basically like that. There was some sexual stuff(with canonically adult characters only), but not a lot, and it was all kept to a minimum, there were no sex scenes, no instances of graphic or overly explicit rape or sexual assault, the fic wasn't NSFW in the sexual sense and wasn't smut or porn in any way. I never got to finish the fic because the YTber demanded I remove it, although it would've had a happy ending for the main couple(not like that matters anymore lol). However, and this is what I feel is the most crucial piece of information, but according to my ex-friend, the YouTuber didn't even actually read the fanfiction, she was merely upset by the existence of fanfic itself more so than the content therein(although she did also dislike the content, again without having read it). So it wasn't so much what was written in the fic that was the problem with the YouTuber, and more so the fact that she didn't like the idea of people writing fanfic at all. That seemed to be the main issue in all of this.

The stuff I discussed with my friend on Tumblr was mainly headcanons, incorrect quotes, all that jazz, or just gushing over our shared favorite character, nothing inappropriate or out of the ordinary.

I respect and appreciate everyone saying NTA and that I should post the fic back up again, but I really don't want to after everything that has happened, plus by the time this ask has been posted I had long gotten over the YT and her work lol.

The YouTuber is about the same age as me. I don't feel like I have the right to say her exact age but yeah we're both adults, although I am older than her.

Anyway thanks to me she's now given up on the old story entirely, she stated multiple times that she's abandoned it due to people being "obsessive/parasocial" with it and "crossing boundaries" that she had, she's also deleted all of her Instagram content involving the story and replaced it with a new one(that I'm not that interested in tbh) and changed her Instagram handle. So yeah. And someone else already said this, but I'm barely on Instagram, the "reside" part wasn't literal, I don't live on there lol.

Also, since so many people have asked me to drop the name of the YouTuber, here it is.

I hope I answered all of your questions lol, if I missed any then please let me know. Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words, bc I really did worry about my behavior being TOO parasocial and out of line, although I do respect the one person who said YTA. In the future I will make sure that the YTber I write fanfics for(if I ever do, which I probably won't at this point in time xD) is okay with it first.

Bye-bye!

AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable? 

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions. 

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3. 

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside. 

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said… 

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from. 

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?