#and you’ll wonder why because you don’t ever seem to know what you’ve done wrong!!!!

[paeeje]

I really really REALLY try not be a bother. I don’t ask for much. I don’t ever want to force somebody to spend time with me. But why does it feel like I have to? I shouldn’t have to. I don’t want to whine and cry and bitch about feeling shitty mentally and say that I want you there to try and cheer me up but that’s exactly what I want. I shouldn’t have to ask for the bare minimum and if I’m not getting it then I’m sure as fuck not going to actually ask for it. I’m so tired of feeling like shit and you’re making it worse and you don’t seem to give a shit!!!!!! And I won’t say anything because I feel like openly talking about it makes me mean and toxic!!!! But why can’t you just give me the bare fucking minimum!!!!! I just want something!! Literally anything!! But you don’t ever take the time for me anymore!! You say you’re always there for me but you aren’t!!!!! The effort I put in isn’t returned in the slightest!!!!!!!!! And I’m so fucking frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC: I wanna be like most girls ghosts.

or Danny: What should I do to make my mom happy?

or ~Danny deserves a little teenage rebellion as a treat~

Maddie: I just want this damned Phantom to stop pretending to be a hero! All ghosts are pure evil, who is he trying to deceive? Danny: Oh, really? And Danny took it personally.

It’s not Danny’s fault that he’s a good kid and wants to make his parents happy. But why would he have to be a monster to make them happy? Why must they hate him to be happy?

Danny’s obsession was going crazy.

Well, when your own parents call you a monster in the face, it hurts. Why do they always believe that only their opinion is the absolute truth? They have no idea how much worse things would be if at least some of the ghosts really behaved the way Maddie and Jack think they’re supposed to. If he really is evil by nature, is there any point in fighting his own fate? They want to see him as a villain, he will become one. He will. He just needs a little help and practice. And not bring it to the level when Clockwork has to clean up his mess. Poor guy is without a vacation for how long? Couple of millennia?

Johnny 13: Sup. Danny: F*ck off, Johnny, I’m not in the mood. Busy thinking about world domination. Get out of here or I’ll call Kitty. Johnny 13: What’s wrong? You’re usually so grouchy only towards the end of the week. Danny: Nothing. Just parents. Again. They are wonderful but I can’t help but feel sometimes that they, em… Johnny 13: Suck? Danny: Right…Damn. I’m a terrible son. Maybe something is wrong with me. Johnny 13: What? No, no, dude. You’re just growing up. And you’re a little late, usually teenagers go through that stage before they graduate. Well, you’ve probably been busy with other issues, so just missed it. Danny: I wonder whose fault it is. Aren’t there ghosts who enjoyed to ruin my life in the middle of school day?

Johnny 13: Oh, bother. Anyway, you’re entering a beautiful time of emancipation, where you’re going to shape your own view of life and, along the way, to get drunk on cheap alcohol at parties, maybe to go to jail and to become the greatest disappointment to your family..And then you will be ashamed to remember it for about the next ten years. Danny: Well, it looks like I’ve already done two out of three additional things. Great success. Johnny 13: When did you get drunk? Danny: I didn’t. Johnny 13: Oh. Want to fix that? Danny: What? No. What an idiot wants to add a headache to his problems? Johnny 13: Well, your loss, then I’ll go terrorize the bars of Gotham alone and no one can stop me. Let’s see what your boyfriend will say about it. ~~~~~ Danny: Bartender, another shot of Dead Man’s Fingers, please. Red Hood: Babe, haven’t you had enough? Danny: Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sacrifices you make, in their eyes you’ll always be nothing more than a monster? Nothing more than a mistake? Oh, Death doesn’t give people like me a break. Red Hood: …I’ll have what he’s having. *gives the bartender a sign to switch the rum shots to a batburger milkshake for them, and starts talking to Danny so that he doesn’t understand Hood's scams*

~~~~~

Johnny 13: Other people’s kids are growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday he didn’t know how to shoot ectoblast, and now.. Kitty: Stop trying to make me feel bad, we’re leaving. Johnny 13: But the boy needs our support, honey boo!

~~~~~

Danny: I'm fine. Really, I am. This isn’t the first time mom’s called me a monster. She often called me that when she was upset with my behavior in my childhood. Huh, it's even funny. Jason: There’s nothing funny about that. Danny: No, you don’t understand. Looking back, I was really a very active child and didn’t know when to stop. Not surprisingly that I often annoyed my parents. They’re very busy people, and Jazz couldn’t always keep an eye on me. And I was often afraid to go to sleep alone because there were shadows in the darkness of my room. Well, I used to think they were. But I pretended everything was okay to not distract parents from work. Jason: Hey, it’s not your fault. You were a child. Obviously, kiddo requires a lot of attention, they must have understood that. You are the second child in the family, right? Danny: Well, Jazz was different. I don’t know. Anyway, I thought if the monsters behind the curtain and under the bed were just like me, well, according to my mom, you know, then they wouldn’t want to hurt me. And since they look after me, they are friends. So I kinda greeted all the suspicious noises and howls. Huh, I was a strange kid. Jason: If you smile at someone in the dark alley right now that someone is more likely to wet themselves or faint. Danny: Rude! I’m not that scary. Admit that I’m adorable. Do it right now. Jason: Stunning, darling. But still carry a gun and a knife, please. My childhood taught me that what's hiding in the dark is worth beating up. Danny: Come on, what should I be afraid of? Death? Anyway, I want to try this shit. Like, the inevitable one. Being a bad boy, you know? Hood *raises eyebrows*. Danny: Oh damn it man, I'm talking about ghostliness. I want to try to be like most of dead ones. I want to unleash my side of the trickster and the villain. But only a little bit. I have to be supervised so that things don't go too far. Would you help me, honey?

~~~~~2 hours later~~~~

~~~~~

Goons used to expect a lot of weirdness from working with the boss.

Sometimes Bruce Wayne would go into their base and yell at the Red Hood like he's one of his kids. Of course Wayne's well-known as 'Gotta adopt them all' but the guy must really suffer from insomnia to count the Red Hood into his brood of chicks several times. Sometimes the boss would fight Robin or Nightwing over differences in morals…or for biscuits. It varied from moment to moment. Sometimes the boss caught the local street children, fed them and taught them to steal correctly. And most of the foundlings stayed with them under their protection.

To make a long story short, Red Hood is not the typical crime lord that some of them had to deal with before. Which is a blessing. Thanks Lord for the health insurance. But still the crime lord. Which means he's still scary, and sometimes deadly.

Anyway, when the boss brought in a guy who looked more civilian than any civilian in the whole Gotham and said he was going to be their intern, they thought it was a joke at first. Despite the fact that Hood was not in the habit of joking while working.

The teenager was too well-mannered and sweet to come from Crime Alley. Phil thought the guy was gonna run when he saw the first murder, Jessica didn’t think the domestic boy wouldn’t chicken out at the sight of a fight. But arguing with a boss’s orders in their profession is like asking for a bullet in the head, so these conversations were taking place outside of their boss's sight. God, how can they teach him anything? What do you take from a boy who’s only good to do the coffee run? Fenton will fall if they’ll give him something heavier than 10 pounds. And then boss will yell at them because he treats the new guy like a princess on a pea. Well, at least that’s what they thought until the boss decided to give the new guy his own assignments:

~~~~~

Red Hood: So, what have you learned during your internship, my young Padawan? Danny: Well, it looks like I’m gonna suck at being a criminal mastermind. I think I may have to find myself some other profession. Red Hood: Come on, you just need a little more practice. Danny: Thank you but I don’t think that’s fit my obsession that good. Don't misunderstand me, I wanna be like most ghosts. But I was wrong to go to hit that goal only base on human stereotypes about my nature. Red Hood: What a pity. The newbies just learned not to flinch when you walk in. But, to be honest, I'm not gonna miss the adrenaline-boosting roller coaster of you at work. Danny: Oh, and I guess to hold on to the concept of humanity was really stupid too. I clearly no longer fit in and I’m finally ready to accept that. So, hopefully, if you get into trouble, you can rely on my ghostliness and call for help. I am the spirit of many talents and of my word. I can haunt your enemies or walk through the walls of Arkham Asylum. Whatever you need, I’ll be here. Red Hood: I’ll bear that in mind.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Heyyy, i love ur jjk fics so when u posted abt writing for aot i SCREAMED bc ik you'll do it justice 😩❤❤

Do u reckon u could do like a levi post rumbling fic bc i need the confort rn and SO DOES HE I NEED HAPPY LEVI PLSS ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏

When I tell you I had to write this IMMEDIATELY <3 Please let me know if you like it, this is my first AOT fic EVER

Levi finally getting his happy end with (y/n) after the rumbling

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k

Synopsis: When he met you after first stepping a foot at Marley, Levi didn't forget you until the very end. But while he thought you died through the rumbling, he meets you again for his happy end.

Warnings: this is the comfort I needed, I actually had to cry while writing this, not proofread because I wanted to publish this asap

Tags: @sanicsmut begging on my knees, please I hope you like this

You’ve been on his mind ever since he met you on that fateful day at Marley. So gorgeous that he couldn’t take his eyes off you, a smile so sweet it could melt even metal. Yes, you were so different from what he expected to find across that ocean, a truly pleasant surprise to say the least.

“Oh, you are quite small for a grown man!” you commented, giggling so effortlessly that Levi wasn’t able to even react to your rude comment.

“But to be honest, I’m a little small myself. Well, not all of us can be tall, right? Where are you from, stranger?”

“None of your business.”

His voice sounded harsher that anticipated, making your joyful face drop in an instant. Why…Why the hell did it even bother him to see you like that, that sad glow that formed in your eyes?

“I’m not from here”, he added.

“Oh, I see! Don’t worry about it too much, it’s like everywhere else!”

Oh, if you only knew how wrong that statement was.

His eyes landed on your right arm and the star that covered the sleeve of your blouse. Why would you wear such a badge? Upon closer inspection, he noticed your shattered clothing, the hem of your earth coloured dress completely torn.  

Before Levi was even able to react two men ran into you, forcefully pushing your body into the dirt of the streets.

“Get out of the way, scum”, one of them hissed towards you.

Anger rose inside his veins immediately. You were just standing there, minding your own business. Why on earth did they push you?

“Watch your step”, his voice suddenly called towards the men.

“Please, it’s alright. Don’t get into trouble because of me.”

And then your hand rested against his shoulders, making his heart beat so loud that Levi swore you could hear it. What was this? Why did your little innocent touch turn him all flustered?

Something about you just seems different. No, despite the fact that it is so wrong, despite being here only for a mission, his mind wanders to you every free second.

Even though you might be dead by now.

“I will leave after tonight”, he announced into darkness, your moonlit features making it hard for him to focus on staying serious.

Your lip began to tremble, glossy eyes darting towards him.

“What? But why do you have to leave? You just arrived…”

“I came here because I have a mission to accomplish, (y/n).”

“But you will return when you’re done, right?”

The hopeful tone in your voice killed him from the inside. Oh, how much he wished he could just take you with him, how much he’d love to have more time with you. But this is simply not possible.

His cold eyes glared at you through the darkness, desperately trying to keep his composure.

“I might never return to this place, (y/n).”

You felt like someone pulled the ground from beneath your feet. Within the last few weeks, you learned that Levi’s hard façade isn’t more than a trick. No, in fact, he carries a character made of pure gold.

You started to like him.

“Then I’ll find you wherever you’ll go.”

And you did. You never missed to write him letters. Levi can’t help but wonder how you did that, your elegant handwriting following him through the darkness of the night, lighting up his mood despite the situation he’s in. Yes, he looked forward hearing from you every single day.

Until the rumbling started.

Until he didn’t receive any letters from you anymore.

It broke his heart, waking up from his coma with all that was on his mind being your stunning smile.

“Did I receive any letters from her?”

“You mean (y/n)? No, not until it all started. She lived in the northern area of Marley so it’s very likely that…”

His heart shattered into a million pieces, dead eyes staring into the distance. Your beautiful smile, that promise you gave him the night before he left. The thought of you getting trampled to death…

“Don’t say it.”

“Hey, maybe she did it somehow. (y/n) is a smart woman. I’m sure she found a way out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, shitty four-eyes. She’s dead.”

He has seen it all, countless people died in front of his very own eyes. Why would it be different this time? Why shouldn’t you of all people be taken away from him? A little spark of luck, a minor ray of sunshine in this sheer darkness.   

He leans back in his wheelchair, darkness consuming him all over again. You deserved so much better, your whole life was still ahead of you. In a world that never wanted you, you always kept your smile as bright as the sun. Despite the fact that they treated you like the dirt underneath their feet, despite how poorly the circumstances were, your smile beamed brighter than anything else.

“What would it give me to burry myself in sadness? I only have this one life, why not making the best of it?”

The best…

“Fuck!” he cries out, slamming a nearby book against the wall in frustration.

Why you? Why out of all the people, you are the one who had to lost her precious life? He never had the chance to tell you how he feels, how you turned his world upside down, that he survived for you.

Dear captain Levi (I love to call you that),

How are you? I hope your mission is going well and that you’ll return soon. I have some exciting news to share with you! After working so much over the last few weeks, I was finally able to buy myself a new dress! Although I wanted to get a white one because I know you love the colour, I bought a dark green one in honour of you. When you come back, we’ll be matching!

I miss you and our conversations late at night. Please tell me you and the others are okay.

In love,

(y/n)

That dark green dress he never got so see, the joy you fuelled inside of him despite being hundreds of miles away from him. God, how much he misses you. How much he fucking misses talking to you through the darkness of the night, to hear from the world through the unwavering veil of your optimism. What would he give to stretch out his hands after you for once, holding you tightly against his chest? It truly kills him from the inside, knowing he will never be able to hold your hand or kiss your lips tenderly, that you’ll never tell him old fairy tales anymore.

You were special. An angel in a world full of devils. Your word alone should have been enough to end every war in the blink of an eye. It definitely was enough to end the war inside himself.

“Captain Levi, will you assist me?”

“Stop calling me that, Onyankopon”, Levi mumbles, silently following the taller man into the heart of the city.

The war made the remaining 20% realize how precious being alive is only after their lives hanging on a thread. While the others carried on with their lives, Levi himself got stuck in this cursed city, the city he last saw you in. Returning to Paradis would mean giving up on you, giving up on the spell you put on him. And he simply can’t take it. Even though the whole town got destroyed by the merciless feet of titans, despite numerous people telling him than no one was able to escape, he always looked out for that dark green dress you described to him.

“Thank you”, a little girl giggles at him, eyes widen at the delicious sight of the lollipop in her hands.

All he can do is stare at the ground in front of her tiny feet with empty eyes. How nice it must be to have something to hold onto in times like these, after losing everything and everyone.

“Hey, can I get another one?”

“Don’t get greedy, young lady!”

That voice, that angelic voice almost reminds him of you. How long has it been since you last spoke to him? So long that the sound of your speech slowly fades in the back of his mind.

But that woman, that woman almost sounds like you. His gaze wanders up her dirty shoes, the hem of her green dress…

A green dress. Dark green, to be exact.

“Levi?”

His eyes widen, his heart stops beating.

No, this can’t be. Is it a dream?

“Levi Ackerman? Is that you?”

His gaze darts towards your face, time stands still. Your facial features, your joyful eyes. It’s you, it has to be you. Without any doubt.

“(y/n)”

He can’t catch his breath, his orbs lingering over your delicate figure, your dark green dress.

That dark green dress.

Before he can stop himself, his eyes get glossy. It is really you. You’re standing in front of him, uninjured, just like you did before.

“Levi!”, you cry out.

In the matter of seconds, you kneel in front of him, hungry arms holding onto his frame for dear life. Oh god, how much you prayed to see that man again, how much you longed to finally be able to hold him in your arms.

“I never gave up hope. I always believed in your abilities and that you’ll return to me someday”, you mutter against his chest, your salty tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt.

“I thought you were dead.”

His voice isn’t more than a fade away whisper, hand running through your soft hair. He always wondered how it would feel against his fingertips. And now you’re here. In his arms, alive.

You are alive.

“I’m fine. I did leave this town just in time because I wanted to see you again. It was a close call, I almost got crushed but…I made it. I couldn’t leave after telling you the fairy tale about the fox and the rabbit, right?”

Silent tears stream down his face like a waterfall while you cry rivers against his chest. His whole life Levi was haunted by loss and grief. As if he was cursed, everyone around him seemed to die in front of his very eyes. Just after letting himself fall, after trusting someone, after gifting them his feelings…They just lost their lives like flies.

But you’re safe and sound, you look just like you did in his memory.

“I love you, (y/n). I should have told you this way sooner and I did all of this just to return to you.”

Your heart sinks in your chest, body overflowing with feelings. Without thinking twice, you press your lips against his scarred ones, letting yourself sink into his lap while your hands hold onto his face for dear life. This man right in front of you, the man who never left your mind, the man who risked his life to save yours. He survived. He survived and came back to you just like you always dreamed of.

“I love you too”, you shriek, smiling at him so widely with tears overflowing in your eyes that you make his world whole again.

“But as you see, I’m not the man you met back then…”, he begins, looking down his disabled body.

You shake your head vehemently, gently taking his hands into yours.

“All I see is the man I love and waited for”, you reply.

You wipe away your tears and a trail of snot in the most unladylike and precious way Levi ever witnessed before standing up and straighten your skirt with trembling hands.

“So now, what do you think? How do you like my now old new dress?” you croak.

You twirl around, making his life complete. This. This is exactly what he fought for, why he never gave up even after Hange dedicated her life. You standing in front of him in that dark green dress, smiling widely after he told you that he loves you.

This is all he ever wanted.

“You look lovely. Absolutely lovely, (y/n)”, he replies.

And for the first time since forever, a genuine smile is formed on his face.  

[chishiyashoodie]

can you write some hc of chishiya and reader’s first date ? 🥺

Sure! Haven’t written anything like this in weeks so bear with me. Also, I’m not taking requests, but thought this was a cute concept! so thank you for requesting it <3

Headcanons of Chishiya’s and readers first date

+ pairing: ooc!Chishiya x reader +

+ warnings: none!

+ word count: 3400ish +

+ author’s note: I got a bit carried away and I wrote two first dates hehe. I think it’s kinda sweet but idk if I’m happy with it. Very quick proofread so sorry for any mistakes <3 This can take place before or after the borderland +

-So you guys meet after work one day to go through some work related stuff

-You go to a Japanese barbecue restaurant

-After you are done eating, he asks if you’d like to meet tomorrow again just to hang out

-“So a date?” you ask him

-“No, not a date”

-“Hmm” you say giving him a suspicious look “Pick me up at 12pm”

-Date-no date day is here and you are super nervous but you don’t get why because first: it’s definitely not a date and second you’ve known him for a long time

-He decides to take you to an exhibition at the Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum

-You wonder how he knows you like that kind of stuff

-After you guys are done with the exhibition, he takes you to a small food stand inside the museum

-“Are you hungry?” He asks

-“No, I’m good” you say with a smile

-You sit down to wait for him to get his food and he brings you a matcha lather, which you love, and you ask him how does he know you like it

-“I’ve noticed you have this every morning at work when you start your shift”

-So he’s been observing you, which you find kinda sweet, because everything is in the little details

-After the museum date hang out, you walk to a nearby park and lay down under a tree

-You feel so comfortable and peaceful that time goes by so quickly

-“I like this” you say “but I’d rather it was nighttime so we could be looking at the stars. Don’t get me wrong, I love blue skies but stars make me curious because they are there, so close yet so far”

-He’s just looking at you with heart eyes and a soft smile

-“Maybe we could do this again tomorrow?” he suggests. “But when it’s dark so you can see them?”

-“Sure”

-Looking at the stars with him is definitely not something you’d think ever happen.

-The next day you guys meet up at the park.

-This time he brings a blanket for you guys to lay on.

-Before you realise it your head is on his chest

-You start talking about constellations and even though he has no idea what you are talking about, he’s following every word you say.

-When it’s time to go, he walks you home and you invite him in.

-You prepare some tea for the both of you and start talking about life

-“It’s so weird, I can talk to you about anything and I know you’ll just listen” you say

-“Likewise” he says before asking you. “So do you have a boyfriend?”

-“Hmm no?”

-He hums

-“I do not have a bf, sorry your question caught me by surprise” you say staring at his face without realising

-“I don’t have a girlfriend”

-“I’d be worried if you did and you were here with me, tbh”

-He raises his eyebrows at you, after all, this isn’t a date either so why would it matter, right?

-“So how come you are single? You are pretty cute” you admit, before slightly chocking on your tea at the realisation of what you just said

-“I’m cute?”

-He’s staring at you so much at this point he could literally get you to tell him your biggest secrets

-“Super cute if I may admit”

-For the next few minutes it’s just silence and awkwardness. You just told Chishiya he’s cute and by the looks of it, it seems like he thinks you are cute too

-“It’s time for me to go. I have an early shift tomorrow” he finally says

-By now you are inches away from each other like a magnet pulled you

-“Do you really have to go? I mean, I have a spare room, you can sleep here”

-He raises his eyebrows at your forwardness, not that you mean it for him to stay and sleep with you

-You can feel each other’s breaths and your lips are touching

-“Sure, I’ll stay”

[starchaserdreams]

I know we all say Sirius would be shocked/appalled by Regulus and James (at least at first). But what if it was his idea? I’m working on making this a longer fic, but here’s what happened in my head just now:

“Won’t it be weird?” James asked nervously, “he’s your brother.”

“Nahhh,” Sirius replied easily. “I mean c’mon, you’ve been saying you want to get back to dating, and that you’d only do it for someone who was cute with a kind heart and a deep love for Quidditch. I mean that’s Reg to a T, don’t you think?”

James grimaced. 

“I mean sure, but he’s your brother.”

“Well obviously,” Sirius replied, twirling his wand in his fingers and watching the movement as though this wasn’t the weirdest conversation they’d ever had, as though it was a perfectly normal suggestion, “which is why I know him so well - just like I know you so well - and I know what would be great for him. And you of course. You’re just as important to me, you know.”

James just shook his head, not really knowing what to make of this. Sirius had very obviously been reaching out to Regulus to convince him to leave home all year. James had no hope, but Sirius clearly wasn’t giving up on him. 

And James couldn’t help but wonder if that had anything to do with this.

“It would piss off my parents to no end, but I don’t think Reg would be that way about it, I think he’d enjoy your sunny personality.”

James laughed despite himself. “‘Sunny personality?’ What are you on about?”

Sirius shrugged, eyes still focused on the tricks his fingers were doing with his wand. 

“Yeah, you know, you’re like a happy ball of energy, and Reggie’s like fire and ice all at once. And opposites attract, obviously. Plus, like I said, you think he’s the best seeker in the school.”

James’ eyes widened. 

“I have never said that to you! Why would you think that?!”

Sirius’ wand stilled, and his eyes finally met James’. When they did, James realized why he’d been fiddling with his wand. Sirius was entirely earnest about this matchmaking he was doing. Strange as James thought it was, Sirius really believed in it.

“James, mate, be real here. I’ve seen you watching him play Quidditch. And then you can’t stop talking about his flying for hours. I’ve also seen you eyeing him in the corridor. And when he thinks you aren’t looking, he stares at you.” James felt like he was blushing everywhere. “I know you’d never do anything about it because he’s my brother, but be honest with me. Don’t you think it’d be good for both of you? I know you do.”

James’ jaw had dropped slightly while Sirius had been speaking, and he shut it immediately when he realized. 

“Oh,” James said slowly, “Pads, I’m-” but he cut off. He wasn’t sorry exactly, since he had very clearly not done anything wrong, and Sirius knew he would have forever resisted all impulse to do anything about it.

A smile pulled up the corner of Sirius’ lips. 

“Ask him out,” he said. “Please. You could be so, so good for him.”

James nodded, cheeks still firmly on fire.

“Are you sure?” he asked. The whole thing still seemed ridiculous to him.

Sirius nodded, and gave James that cheeky Sirius Black grin. 

“Yes, Prongs, I’m sure. And when it works out, you’ll owe me one.”

A laugh escaped James’ mouth before he realized it was coming.

Okay then, he would do it.

[trashogram]

Ok the Hazbin/Reader Cheating scenario but w/o Lucifer (my lil man can’t be the only guilty one here):

Alastor

So the issue I have with Alastor is that it would have to be convoluted to a point. The idea of him cheating on you (physically/sexually) with someone he does not actually care about but wants for a specific purpose could be something. However, that would require no deal-making on his end, so sex is the best way to do it bc reasons — and Alastor isn’t sex-repulsed here, but he does justify it to himself to betray you do this as a means to an end, so it’s meaningless. Sex isn’t a huge deal to him anyway really, or so he tells himself while purposefully not thinking about how it’s a way he’s been bonding with you intimately. What you don’t know won’t hurt you and hey, Alastor might even rationalize it as what’s best for you as a couple.

Alastor’s doesn’t even have to be sexual necessarily though. It could be a betrayal based on loyalties alone — once he’s free of his deal to assist Charlie, he turns his back on the hotel, and you. Alastor is convinced he could bring you back to him after all is said and done. (He is wrong of course, and the only thing left to him is ashes and memories.)

Angel Dust

Angel Dust and you might seem like an unconventional couple, because you’re so supportive and understanding about his work. He’s a sex worker and you have never and will never judge him. So it may not be sexual cheating that breaks you, but emotional. Perhaps you find him and Husk discussing something deeply personal and private, Husk comforts him, and Angel has never discussed this with you and doesn’t appear to have any intention to do so. You don’t want to make it about you but you spiral as you see them so warm and intimate, as if they share something that Angel and you can’t.

You decide that you would rather bow out than interrupt what might be the beginning of an even better love story than you and Angel, but it destroys you. You can’t stay in the hotel if you’re gonna step aside. All of this is done without a word. (Angel doesn’t understand. Without you, his progress deteriorates and he spends more and more time in a drug-fueled haze, crying because Fat Nuggets always waits for you at the door.)

Charlie

You love Charlie so much, and she doesn’t give you cause to doubt her love for you… except you didn’t know she and Vaggie were a thing. You catch them together after you’ve spent so much time hating yourself for questioning things and they’re telling each other how much they missed each other in-between kisses. Your soul is crushed. Your world has disappeared out from under you. How could you ever trust anyone ever again if someone as wonderful-seeming as Charlie could betray you like this?

You leave, trying to be strong. Everything is left behind. Even just a commercial or a flyer makes you sick to your stomach, reminding you that you weren’t enough. (Meanwhile Charlie is tearing herself apart trying to find you. The idea of redemption is tainted now because she can never forgive herself, much less expect you to forgive her.)

Husk

You made him believe in love again, and it’s a source of pride for you. He’s cutting back on the booze too, or at least he was until you count his bottles and see the tally is back up one night. And it’s all downhill from there. You catch him cheating and if anyone else could’ve known, it would be Alastor. He doesn’t mince words, takes pleasure in telling you how long it’s been going on while you were completely naive to it. You poor thing, it’s not your fault.

You listen until he’s finished and politely thank him. Alastor doesn’t bother to ask if you’ll be back when you walk out of the Hotel. It’s more entertaining to watch everyone have a conniption over why you’re missing. Oddly enough though, Husk’s reaction isn’t as entertaining as he’d thought it would be. (He never talks anymore; just pours drinks and does Al’s dirty work when it calls for it. Tsk, tsk, you broke one of Alastor’s favorite toys so completely that there’s just no life left in him anymore.)

Vaggie

She accepts that Charlie can’t get past the lying about her angelic origins and finds a new love in you. You’re kind and genuine, you don’t deserve to be in Hell. And Vaggie doesn’t deserve you. She still has feelings for the Princess and acts on them. Stupid. How could she do this to you? You’re the one she really wants!

Vaggie does something she hasn’t done since she was still in Heaven. She prays for you after you’ve left the hotel. It’s a futile endeavor, but it brings some comfort. (Until the extermination happens and she sees you, being outnumbered. She’s quick to come to your aid, calling out for you. You make eye contact at the same time the exterminator’s weapon goes right through you.)

Sir Pentious

You admired Pentious, and stuck up for him when the other residents would talk down to him. He’s so sweet, even more so when you become a couple. Although you do feel a little bad about yourself with how he blushes when Cherri comes around. He assures you, of course, that she’s his enemy and he absolutely adores you.

You’re late to join your friends at the Consent Club, but you do make it in time to see Angel tell Valentino off. You’re proud, but when you ask where Sir Pentious is, your friends all freeze. After a long moment, you’re guided to the ‘Sex Room’ and you’re left to see Pentious and Cherri inside. It doesn’t matter that your friends are all calling for you to come back, you race to the hotel and gather your things and go. (Sir Pentious dies for his friends, and in what he believes are his final moments, he thinks of you. When he arrives in Heaven, it’s a cruel twist of fate. He tries to convince Emily that he doesn’t belong there. Betraying you should have certified his place in Hell.)

[hexagonalhavoc]

Romantic with Sado, please! Reader is a another game character, weak, silent, He/Him. Not Angst

Jailbreak 

Sado x Reader

     You never thought you would be in the npc detention center. You didn’t even know what you did wrong. Your memories are nothing but a blur, every time you get a snippet of the past you’re greeted with more questions than answers. You can’t even remember the game you came from. You were wearing some sort of circus outfit but that didn’t help to ease your confusion. Everyone else could remember what game they came from so why couldn’t you? 

You hated it here. All you could do was sit around in your cell and listen to your cellmates talk. It gave you such a headache to hear them all talk at once, screaming and banging on the blue force fields that kept them within their cells. 

It wasn’t unusual to see Irving roaming the halls and acting as a warden. You doubted anyone could leave this place and he made it very clear what would happen if they tried but he still patrolled regularly to make sure no one was planning to cause trouble. He walked with one hand behind his back and the other on his earpiece. The most entertainment you got was listening to him talk to people over the earpiece and even that was boring. 

“Yes I got her. There should be no evidence left that Dosa’s game ever existed.” A game being deleted? You lean closer and press your ear up to the front of your cell. Maybe you can’t remember your game because it was deleted. Irving starts to walk away from your area and it’s harder to hear what he’s saying. You can make out very few words.

“Game breaking…npc hostage…lured…” 

He starts walking your way so you move away and keep your head down. He doesn’t even seem to know you were there, you wonder if he would even care if you’re listening or not. “So keep an eye on her, she’s smarter than she looks. Once we’re sure that she is secured with no chance of escape we can get rid of him, there’s no point in keeping him here.” Irving slams his fist against your cell, causing you to flinch back. There was no reason for him to do that other than to mess with you. This wasn’t the first time he’s done something like this and he only seems to do it to you. 

Someone else is being detained here? But where? You don’t see any new faces. Whoever “she” is, she must be at the very end of the hallways in the cell that has the most security. This new prisoner must have done something really bad. 

And who was Irving talking about? Whoever was the topic of conversation was unlucky as your wannabe warden made it very clear that they wouldn’t be alive for very long. You shuddered at the thought of that. No one that had been locked up had deserved to die. Being a video game character was hard, if you do even one thing out of script you’ll be punished harshly. 

He’s no longer talking but he’s still patrolling. You’re starting to get irritated by the sound his tacky dress shoes made against the sleek floors. You wonder if he has some sort of personal vendetta against you because he’s right in front of your cell again. 

“I bet you feel pretty small in there.” Does he just like picking on you in particular? He ignores everyone else. It’s not like you’ve done anything to him, you haven’t uttered a single word to him. “You want out, right? I bet if you ask your friend for help she’ll let you out.” You lift your head up to look at him. Your friend? You have no clue who he’s talking about. You can hardly remember who you are let alone any people you might have known in the past. If you were braver you would have questioned his words but you just lowered your head down again, assuming that he was just trying to get to your head. 

In reality, he was trying to get into Sado’s head. With how powerful she is he’s unsure if she’s capable of freeing herself from her shackles. Normally you don’t try to provoke a powerful force like her but Irving has a sizable ego which makes him think he’s untouchable. 

He knows that you don’t remember Sado but Sado remembers you. And you ended up being the perfect bait to catch a normally allusive entity like she was. Who would have guessed that her kryptonite would be such a person like yourself? There’s no disturbance on her end so maybe she really can’t escape her confinements. Irving can’t spend his whole day tormenting you so he takes his leave. 

Everything has quieted down for now and so you sit in your cell, your finger drawing invisible patterns on the ground out of sheer boredom. 

The sound of electricity crackling fills your ears. That wasn’t a sound you were familiar with. Then you hear the commotion of your fellow npc’s as a dark void draws near, ready to consume everything in its wake. You defensively curl up into a ball in the corner of your cell. You close your eyes with your hands on each side of your head. Is this really it? Are you meant to spend your last moments in confusion? 

Click! Click! Click! 

That’s a familiar sound to you, the sound of someone’s shoes against the hard floors. It doesn’t sound as heavy as Irving’s footsteps. Slowly, you lift your head up. There’s darkness right outside your cell but it doesn’t dare enter. The voices of the others are gone. Your cell door opens but the darkness doesn’t spill in. 

You stand up and go the very edge of your cell. You’re afraid but there’s no point in keeping yourself cooped up in there. This may be your chance to escape. You have to hype yourself up but you stick your hand out of your cell and into the darkness just to see what happens. The void rips itself apart to make way for your hand. You shakily inhale and step out completely. It’s like an invisible force field prevents the darkness from swallowing you up like it did all the others but why? What’s so special about you? 

The darkness continues to split itself down the middle until you can see a figure down the hallway. This dark clothed silhouette walks over to you slowly, as if savoring each step of her introduction. Naturally, you should feel afraid of a stranger in the darkness approaching you with such a cheshire grin but you don’t. Something in your heart is telling you that everything is going to be okay. You almost feel nostalgic in the strangest way. 

Now she’s right in front of you. She’s so close but you don’t feel the need to shy away like you do with other people. Her smile is uncanny and her eyes are unblinking but you feel safe right now. 

“You don’t remember me?” 

You’ve never been much of a talker. The only thing you can do is nod. 

“That’s a pity.” She takes another step towards you. You’re so close that if she takes another step you’ll be touching. “And yet…you didn’t run away. You know you’re important to me, don’t you?” 

You nod once more. How can her words mean nothing but everything at the same time? 

She tilts her head to the side. A pale hand slowly goes to your face as if she’s trying not to startle you. Black fingernails gently graze your cheek but you hardly feel them. Is this the one Irving was talking about? The one that was such a threat she was locked away with maximum security? But she seems so gentle. 

“I’m not too worried about it. I’ll get us out of here and we can work on jogging your memories together. I wouldn’t mind falling in love with you all over again.” Her expression is still the same but her eyes look glossy and you can’t if it’s because she’s happy or sad. Her voice doesn’t much inflection in it. 

It feels like there’s a hand pressing on your chest and it makes your eyes water. You’ve never heard such words before. You never thought someone could look at you so tenderly. You slowly reach your hand out to hers but then the whole building shakes. You would have fallen over if not for the hands that steady you. 

“Well would you look at that, they finally showed up. They’re behind schedule.” Before you can question her she turns to face you. “You have two choices. You can let the space marines save you or you can come with me. We’ll see each other again no matter what you choose.” Sado was going to wait for one of them to free her but they had came too late. All she had to do was lead one of them to the Hex Artifact. Unfortunately she couldn’t complete the ritual on her own. If she wanted to get you both to the real world she would have to let them take the artifact. 

You grab Sado’s hand, making your choice clear. Her hand tightens around yours. “You made a good choice. Stay close to me, we won’t part ever again.”

[heliads]

So because there can’t be enough drama (if you don’t want to write that it’s okay!): Male squaller that is now married to Genya, travelling with the darkling (basically being a second Zoya) on the hunt for the amplifiers with the kidnapped Alina. However when Stormhound arrives he realises how dangerous the darkling is, throwing Genya onto the other ship and saving her this way. Now the one who gets tortured by the shadow monsters, always forgetting their names, is him (since he clearly worked against the darkling and the darkling probably is like „who needs two squallers that are fiercely loyal when you already have zoya?“) and when they finally met each other at the chapel he is convinced he isn’t worthy of Genyas love anymore because of the scars. Pretty dark, but at least he is staying alive in this one 😹

i love drama with all my heart

masterlist

It is a difficult thing, realizing that you might be on the wrong side of a war. It is worse knowing that your friends were aware of the truth all along and failed to convince you to come to the right side. Now, you’re stuck among monsters, wondering if you’ll ever get a chance to switch sides or if you'll be doomed to die with the wrong people. 

Being trapped on a ship with somebody who you’re now growing to appreciate is the enemy certainly doesn’t help matters either. The Darkling has always been cold, always shifty, but now you can add treacherous to that mix.

It’s not the best place to be at the moment, to say the least. Factor in the fact that you also got your wife into this mess and you’re looking at far more risk than you’d ever like. Outside the protective walls of Os Alta, the danger seems to be heightened tenfold. Your mixed feelings only add to that paranoia.

Usually, this is the point at which you go to your wife and beg for her counsel. Genya Safin is brilliant at strategy, a fact that bewilders most people who don’t know her well. They take one glance at her then stop cold, thinking that gilded trappings and pretty, batting lashes are all they need to gauge someone’s character.

You thought differently. Perhaps that’s why you were lucky enough to marry her. Since you first arrived at the Little Palace and were able to practice your gifts as a Squaller without fear of death, all of your memories have seemed to glow with light, but your wedding day shines with an entirely different kind of power. Images of Genya smiling at you and reciting her vows are the sorts of things that never leave a person. Even a man as tormented as you.

You’ve come to rely on Genya’s advice, but in times like these, she’s just as worried as you are. Ever since Alina ran from the Grand Palace the night of the Winter Fete, ever since the Sun Summoner was dragged back and had those antlers locked around her throat, ever since she blew up the skiff and ran, Genya has been conflicted. Some part of her wonders if she’s truly doing the right thing. You wish you could help ease her mind, but you’re struggling with the same thoughts.

After all, what proof do you have that the Darkling’s side truly is the right one? Yes, he supported you as a young Grisha in need of a home, and yes, he protected the practitioners of the Small Science like no one else, but he’s done some terrible things as well. Alina tried to tell you that the Darkling was the one to create the Shadow Fold in the first place. Maybe she was right.

The two of you are reminded of this revelation in twofold now that Alina is back with you again. The Darkling managed to capture her and that otkazat’sya tracker, Mal Oretsev, a short while ago, and now you’re all on the same ship, searching for a new amplifier. You have no idea if you’ll truly be able to find the sea whip, but you seem to be growing closer by the day, if Mal’s restless mutterings are to be believed.

As more time passes, you find yourself convinced that the Darkling is in the wrong. You’ve seen how he keeps Alina locked away, how he leverages lives in an effort to regain the Sun Summoner as a weapon. Genya doesn’t want to talk about it, but you get the feeling she’s starting to come around, too.

It is now, in the depths of your terrifying revelations, that you gain a new piece of information. It was not meant to drift to your ears, this conversation, but any words whispered on the air have a way of making their way to a nearby Squaller. You and Zoya learned this trick a while ago, and you use it now to great effect.

The secret you learn is that the captain of this ship, Sturmhond, is planning on deceiving the Darkling as soon as the sea whip is found. He’ll have another ship join up and then ferry Alina, Mal, and the mythical beast away under the guise of an attack.

Seeing as you’re supposedly on the Darkling’s side, you have free rein over the ship, able to wander wherever you see fit. This allows you to visit Sturmhond’s office later and present him with a deal:  you won’t tell the Darkling about the privateer’s upcoming escape attempt if he takes Genya with him.

At first, Stumhond isn’t having it. He has no proof that you or Genya won’t turn him in anyway, and besides, he only counted on having two extra mouths to feed. It takes a bit of bargaining, but you think you’ve managed to win the captain over. The only problem is that you’ll have to find a way to get Genya onto Sturmhond’s ship when it pulls up, a feat which will be difficult to accomplish in the middle of the fight.

Regardless, you’re willing to do it. Alina needs a shot to free all of you from the Darkling’s influence, and you need an opportunity to get your wife to safety. You harbor no illusions about being to escape alongside Genya; the Darkling will be fighting to reclaim all passengers trying to leave him, there’s no way you’d be able to flee as well. If you’re lucky, Genya can make it over, but not you.

That’s a fate you’re willing to accept, however. You bide your time, and soon enough Mal is shouting that the sea whip is within sight. Harpoons are launched and the beast is dragged close to the ship. You have to hand it to Sturmhond, he picked his moment well. In all the tumult of trying to capture the sea whip, no one notices another ship approaching, especially not with Sturmhond’s Squallers conjuring up mists to disguise it. You’re certainly not about to inform the Darkling otherwise.

Before you know it, dozens of rogue sailors are appearing out of nowhere, securing the sea whip to their ship instead. You see Alina and Mal being tossed over to the ship, and through the chaos of the scene, you see Stumhond nod once at you. It’s time.

Genya is by your side; she doesn’t like to leave you, not when both of you feel so threatened by the Darkling’s wrath. You pull her close one last time, and whisper in her ear that you love her, you always will. Genya has just enough time to realize what you’re about to do. Her face drops with horror, but you’re spreading your hands, using your gifts as a Squaller to lift her carefully to the other ship. 

With the last of your energy, you join Sturmhond’s Grisha in pushing the Darkling’s ship away. You sense shadows looming around you, and then all is lost. The last sound you hear of your lover is her scream carried over to you by the whistling winds, begging you to return to her. You’re not sure that you will.

Although all Grisha feel protected by the Darkling’s might, none of you much like the idea of crossing him. The Darkling’s temper is infamous, his ideals of revenge bloody and brutal. You have the chance to understand that fully now that you’ve betrayed him by helping Genya and the others escape.

You are not sure of where you are, nor where you got where you did. All you know is pain, neverending pain, the howls of the Darkling’s merzost shadow creatures as they tear into your flesh and bone. The Darkling wants information, but you have none. You did not turn him into a rival agency, you simply wanted to protect your wife. He keeps searching, expecting some corner of your mind to give up your secrets if he applies enough pain, but there is nothing. Still, he keeps looking.

The names disappear first from your head. You’d thought it would be the faces. Usually, that’s how memories work, isn’t it? You picture scenes from your past but the characters themselves are blurred, blocked from you forever by an inability to remember the details. As the torture progresses, you start to forget just why you’d betrayed the Darkling that day on the ship. 

It was for someone, you remember that. A woman. A brief thought occurs to you that she was yours, but it disappears just as quickly. There’s a ring in your finger, but you can’t remember why. Those gaps in your memory aren’t enough to convince you to remove it, though. Something much deeper than your own distinct thoughts keeps the ring with you.

The pain stops eventually. It might be months later, maybe only weeks, but it is for quite a long time indeed. You run your hands over your face when that light pressure doesn’t produce agony and marvel at what your fingers find. You had a vague recollection of what you looked like, but the deep scars and gouges in the skin are new. One of your eyes is gone, plucked from your skull as penance. An eye for an eye. The Darkling was always quite literal in his threats.

There are fragments of memories swirling around in your subconscious. A woman with red hair, smiling at you and only you. The churning of a restless sea. Someone screaming a name that could be yours. You suppose you’ll never know why or how it happened. There is only the pain, and then the uneasy restlessness of being alone in endless darkness.

The Darkling comes for you again, forcing you to walk with him. He travels a great distance to somewhere that seems familiar. The merzost creatures snap at you, reminding you how much they enjoy the taste of your blood. You stay by yourself. You stare at your hands, which have remained untouched. Although the Darkling punishes traitors, he would never rob a Grisha of their gift. That is his idea of mercy.

You are needed some time later. The Darkling stands in the ruins of a church. He surveys a battered and bruised group of Grisha before him. They can’t see you, not yet, so you have a chance to study them. A quiet voice in your head whispers in shock that this can’t be it, that surely there are more of you. You have no idea what would tell it otherwise.

A girl at the front of the group, dark-haired, holds up her hands and they glow with light, forcing the shadows back. Another young woman stands at her side, her face as entrancing as a fantasy. Something twists in your throat, bringing tears to your eyes, and you realize she’s the redheaded woman from your dreams, the one who refuses to let you rest. Genya. Your Genya. Yours no longer.

As if reading your mind, the Darkling extends an arm, and you’re forced to your feet. Genya’s face contorts with horror, and you feel sickness expand in your stomach. She is beautiful, always has been, and what are you now? Some scarred thing, a wreck of blood and bone. If you were ever fit for her, you certainly aren’t now.

The sun-girl raises her arms, shouting for the rest to go. You stay motionless, waiting to die, but Genya rushes forward, dragging you back with her. You move on instinct, running with the rest of the pack until you stop moving. You hear whispers that you’re protected by the Soldat Sol and you’re in a place called the White Cathedral. You don’t like to talk to anyone much, even after the running starts and the hiding begins. The others have a way of staring and muttering that you don’t much like.

There is one person who refuses to leave you alone, though, and that is Genya. At first, you cannot fathom why. She keeps up a happy bubble of conversation, utterly one-sided. It only faltered once, and that was when the dark robe you wear shifted back to reveal your scarred hands. She saw the ring on your finger, how you stubbornly clutch to it like it might save your life, and burst into tears.

She was better after that, and slowly, carefully, you remember why it might have upset her. Genya is your wife. You are her husband. She thought you were dead, and in truth, you might be, but even in the midst of life-ending pain, you kept your wedding ring. That is love if nothing else.

As the memories start to piece themselves together again, you tell Genya to leave. She doesn’t deserve to be stuck with someone like you for the rest of your life. You are the thorns to her rose, scars and grief compared to a flawless image. She refuses every time, recounting how you’d stood by her when she needed help. You were the only one who saw her as more than a face, she said, and now she’ll do the same with you.

It will take a while to fully let yourself believe her. It will take longer to mend and heal and come back to who you were. Still, you think you’d like to try. It would be nice to be you again. It is good, then, that you have someone by your side who remembers who that was.

requested by @schroedingers-kater, i hope you enjoy!

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @thatfangirl42, @retvenkos, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000

[sonickedtrowel]

last 10 fics

rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

Tagged by @goldheartedchaoticdisaster, thank you!  And I’m just gonna let you know right now that I take a notoriously liberal interpretation of “first lines” because I can’t live without context.  Lines, paragraphs... who are we to say, really, what is a line? 

1. the sun isn't only sinking fast, every night knows how long it's supposed to last

Mendorax Dellora

(human colony)

Christmas Day

5343

Having a person erased from your memory, it turned out, was extremely unpleasant.  The Doctor’s head was a mess, even by his own generous standards, and every miserable effect was closely chased by the more-miserable thought that he deserved it, for having done it before.  For Donna.  For having been ready, still, to do it again.

2. though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run

“I've been sending out a message.  A distress call.  Outside the bubble of our time, the universe is still turning, and I've sent a message everywhere.  To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything.  ‘The Doctor is dying.  Please, please help.’”

For just a moment, his eyebrows lifted and the corner of his mouth turned up.  It was a shame, really, that she couldn’t enjoy him being impressed with her.  A second later his eyes screwed shut as he seemed to physically shake himself out of it.  

3. can’t help pollen in love

“Artemisia?” the Doctor read aloud, flicking through the very pink, glossy leaflet River had presented him with.  “Why do I know that name?”

“I can’t imagine you’ve been,” River replied as she circled the console and fired up the controls.  “Of course, if I’m wrong, I’ll need details.”

“Gentileschi!” he cried, snapping his fingers in revelation.  “Brilliant painter.  I should introduce you, you’d definitely get on.”

“Delightful as that sounds, I think you’d prefer we make this trip without the extra company.  Of course, if I’m wrong…”

4. I don’t wanna run, just overwhelm me

Looking back, it was hard for the Doctor to say exactly when he’d stopped running.  The grief and resentment he’d been nursing since their first meeting had given way, little by little, to a terrifying thrill in the pit of his stomach.  It was that magnetic pull; the undeniable certainty that he was colliding with his future each time he crossed paths with River Song.  

Adrenaline spiked through his veins at the first syllable from her lips, her warm voice so smugly suggestive he suspected she wasn’t buying his feigned ignorance one bit.  She was utterly infuriating.  Infuriating, and brilliant and mad and funny and brave and kind, and she knew everything he’d ever been and had seen everything he would become.  

5. there is a love I reminisce

Being called upon by UNIT to clear up some extra-temporal alien mess or another wasn’t completely out of the ordinary for River.  Jack wasn’t always easy to get in touch with, and the Doctor, for all his many wonderful qualities, was not what anyone would call reliable.  And while UNIT did (in an extremely top-secret capacity of which no one, including their own tactical assets, was meant to be any the wiser) possess means of time travel, River was fairly certain she’d “accidentally” left their vortex manipulator knackered enough after the last time she’d borrowed it as to have rendered it basically useless.  To them, anyway.  She could always fix it up if she needed a spare.

So when the odd request from Kate arrived, if it really sounded like something they couldn’t handle on their own, she usually popped by to lend a helping hand (or staser, or what-have-you.)  This time, the message simply read:

Come and fetch your husband.

6. someday you’ll call my name

“I’m sure I’ve got an umbrella somewhere,” the Doctor called over his shoulder as he opened the TARDIS door.  In contrast to the blinding sunlight of the beach, the dim console room was a haze of greenish obscurity.

“I’m sure you have,” Liv shouted after him, “just don’t get lost looking for it!”

“I don’t get lost in my own TARDIS!” he shot back, just as the door swung shut, leaving him in darkness.  “I… get distracted.”

He navigated past the console mostly by memory, making a mental note to add sunglasses to the requisition list as he went, and only briefly snagged his foot on a rug.  He’d steadied himself against the opening of the corridor and was just beginning to regain some of his vision when the ringing of the telephone cut through the quiet control room.

7. then hold my memory

The plan had been dancing lessons; that’s all.  A swanky party with some of Hollywood’s lesser elite, where she’d cast a long shadow in the room, but wouldn’t chance running into any of Rita’s closer acquaintances.  She’d charm him into a dance or two— it was only the rumba.  What would be the harm?  But she couldn’t risk anything more with the psychic wimple in place.  If he saw through it, what then?  There was something about the thought of wiping this one’s memories that made her hearts twist in her chest.  He’d had enough of that already without her help.

But then they’d staggered away from the dance floor, giddy and grinning, and he placed a gentle hand on her back as he fell into step beside her.  His blue eyes were bright when she stole a glance his way and found him already watching her.  The breathless delight on his face was just too much to resist.

Oh, to hell with it.

8. the Furies my one abandoned WIP, so I like to forget this exists!! ugh!! the shame!!!!

The Doctor let out a heavy breath, slumping back against the outer wall of Clara’s block.  His coat snagged on the concrete, the gritty surface digging painfully into his fingertips as he mindlessly reached for some tactile distraction.  Clara was safe in her flat, with a pile of biscuits and a cup of tea that would surely be cold when she woke waiting on her bedside table.  It was, quite literally, the very least he could do for the girl who’d just rescued him by leaping into his timestream and scattering echoes of herself across infinity.  She deserved better, but for now, she’d be fine in the morning.

He dragged a shaking hand across his face as another wave of grief crashed over him without warning, crushing the air from his lungs.  He’d struggled for so long to get above water, but then he saw her, he spoke to her, he held her and kissed her and told her goodbye and now he was drowning, drowning, drowning.

9. a first time for everything kids we’re travelling dangerously far back in time now I fear we’re entering the suburbs of cringetown

The Doctor scowled down at the console.  He’d dropped Amy and Rory back to their wedding night, promising them no further attempts at a honeymoon outing.  Honestly, he didn’t know what they were making such a fuss about.  He’d been in loads of spaceship crashes; even died in one.  Ships that didn’t hit the ground didn’t even rate on the list.

Well, so much for having company to distract him.  The party was still going, though!  Back here on the night of the 26th of June, when the universe was brand new again… He could just pop back in right after they’d left.  Right after…

“No, but was that yes, or yes?”

“Yes.”

10. The Second Date

River’s senses prickled the moment she turned the key in the lock.  Her very first day moving in, and already they’d sent someone after her?  She didn’t exactly know to expect them; the memories were all a blur, really.  But she’d been trained to kill the Doctor, and, well, she had done, but rather more briefly than she supposed her former keepers had intended.  She was certain they’d be coming round at some point to rectify the situation.

Good.  She’d get a good look at them, finally, and they’d get the last look of their lives.

In one fluid motion, she threw open the door, dropped the little box of her belongings to the floor and levelled her gun into the room.

“River!” the Doctor cheered.  She froze.

PHEW not even gonna guess how much broken formatting or links made it in there but I did my best.  Tagging!!!! @xhellnhighheelsx @regalpotato @mnemosyne-musing @artemisery (YES YOU!!!) @diaryofriversong @mygalfriday (I know you haven’t been around Pam but WE MISS YOU!) and literally if you’re reading this and you write fic i am tagging you i just cant remember more usernames i have pneumonia. lol i’m gonna go lie down for 800 years.  or for one standard earth night until the crack of 7am, as it happens in reality.

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🪁 in June 2023: Gemini

10 Cups - 5 Cups - 9 Cups

Regarding: 4 Wands

This reading is about a relationship that’s ended or is ending, it could have moved really fast, like you two didn’t even really know each other. The Fool is here, planning is here, brand new energy is here, and you go from a 4 to a perceived 10…but really it’s a 9, self energy.

4 Wands is a stable relationship, probably living together, you could have gone from “this person is amazing” to “let’s move in together” really quickly. You’re wondering why it hasn’t worked out, you were so excited, impulsive, passionate…initially. 10 Cups is feeling like all of your dreams have come true, you’ve found your person, happily ever after. But this is right after meeting, or dating, not much time has been invested at all. King of Swords is either you or them, and the blame here is either you or them, only you know. I’ll blame you to make it easier 😆 It’s actually pretty specific so, you’ll know.

There was no vetting process with this person, no trying to figure them out, not much depth in conversations…there was a lot you didn’t know. Or they didn’t. However long it lasted, it began with feeling overjoyed, and over time disappointment began setting in. One person is really only concerned about themselves. It starts at a 10, and quickly becomes a 9. Maybe always was. They could be a greedy type, definitely holds money close to their chest, though when it’s their hobbies and ideas, they overspend, it’s the polar opposite energy. Probably not the most responsible, but still manages to act condescending or controlling with you. Like you’re the problem. Or that’s describing you. With 2 Pentacles I am getting a Gemini vibe of “two faces”, the happy one and the “fk you I’m gonna do what I want” one. Which is fine, but they can’t do what they want as well is the energy here. Or that’s flipped.

9 Cups is indulgence, and a few hobbies are shown here as part of that. Overspending on their own desires, what they like, what they want, doesn’t matter how you feel or think. They just act like a single person with the face of a relationship. I do get this 10 Cups perception managed to prolong this for awhile, whether the other person thought it was a phase, immaturity, whatever, they just hoped it would change back into the 10 Cups that was felt initially. 5 Wands shows that did not happen. The other person started speaking up, “causing conflict”, but really it seems they waited until it was getting out of hand. One person is focused on the whole, the future. The other person is focused on themselves. This ended the connection entirely, over a period of time, and probably some drama & arguing became a regular thing before it was over.

Further clarification is 8 Swords. Gemini energy. For those where this is you, you already know this, you were present at the arguments, you defended probably wasteful or kinda selfish indulgences, you just pretend you can’t see it and can’t stop it. You can. You’re a smart cookie 🍪 Or this this is their energy and there’s nothing you could have done, showing powerlessness, you can’t control people. 8 Swords is either self-sabotage, they can escape, or stop this, they just don’t, they keep themselves stuck. But pretend they don’t understand the issue. Because they don’t want to change.

Animal Oracle: Zebra 🦓

“Let go of your fear and know that you are safe and protected at all times.”

Whenever you venture into unfamiliar territory, it’s quite natural to feel some trepidation. Your mind can create all sorts of scenarios as to what can go wrong. Doubts and uncertainties may arise, and the path can seem fraught with challenges and sometimes even danger. You may find yourself stuck at times, fearful about moving ahead. Yet much of what we label as fear isn’t actually fear. True fear is a vital, instinctual response to any life-threatening situation, and is triggered not only by circumstances and events, but even more so by what you think about those circumstances or events.

Stay relaxed yet vigilant, trusting that nothin can truly harm you and your body will provide sensory information if there is any actual danger. If there is truly a threat, your instincts will tell you what to do. Whenever you feel an exaggerated sense of fear triggered mainly by your thoughts, one that has little or no basis in reality, take a few slow deep breaths. Call upon Spirit, reach out to close ones for reassurance to help you feel grounded and centered. Recall times in the last when you did feel frightened or were in danger and not only survived but came through intact. You can also re-label fear and call it excitement, as the two emotions are very similar in they way they manifest in the body. Most of all, trust your spirit guides, your instincts, your friends to watch out for you.

Artist Oracle: AI WEIWEI

- When authority says to be quiet, get a loudspeaker.

- Art must fight for freedom or the whole world is a prison.

- Some things are whole only when they shatter.

Advice:

- Knowledge is Power

- Add Your Neighbors to Your Community

Charms:

Tennis 🎾 and Horse 🐎 on 9 Cups could nod towards gambling for someone, sports, hobbies in general, the things they enjoy. Normally that isn’t a problem, so it must be excessive, or they’re extremely controlling with others or “together” priorities, but rich af when it’s their team’s playoffs right? Assuming sports, it can be video games too, or literally any hobby at all would fit here. It’s just whatever it is - it’s excessive and they act like it’s not the problem, you are. Or switch it.

Dead Tree 🍂 on The World connected to 5 Wands and conflicts, you argue, and argue, and argue, until it’s dead and over with. The other person can only be so patient, especially if they’re being treated badly, not the priority in your life, not your team mate. If they’re going to watch the other person just live for themselves, might as well BE by themselves. I don’t see anything being left in this connection to heal, The World is done, it’s a lesson learned. If this is not you, then the reading is validating you and everything you’ve experienced. If it is you, then the advice is recognizing an issue so it doesn’t carry on to the next cycle or relationship, shadow work 🙏

[solidarishkeyt]

But I can still remember what I like—can’t I?—if not what I believe. I know what I like. I like warmth, coziness, pleasure, love—mail, presents—nice plates—those paintings by Matisse… Yes, I’m an aesthete. I like beauty.

Yes—poor countries are beautiful. Poor people are beautiful. It’s a wonderful feeling to have money in a country where most people are poor, to ride in a taxi through horrible slums.

Yes—a beggar can be beautiful. A beggar can have beautiful lips, beautiful eyes. You’re far from home. To you, her simple shawl seems elegant, direct, the right way to dress. You see her approaching from a great distance. She’s old, thin, and yes, she looks sick, very sick, near death. But her face is beautiful—seductive, luminous. You like her—you’re drawn to her. Yes, you think—there’s money in your purse—you’ll give her some of it.

And a voice says—Why not all of it? Why not give her all that you have?

Be careful, that’s a question that could poison your life. Your love of beauty could actually kill you.

If you hear that question, it means you’re sick. You’re mentally sick. You’ve had a breakdown. And the bathroom spins, all the way around, at a sort of unbearable speed. I stare at the toilet.

Answer the question, idiot. Don’t just stand there. I can’t give the beggar all that I have, because I—

because I—

be—

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I have beliefs. There’s a reason why I won’t give the beggar all of my money. Yes, I’m going to give her some of it—I always give away quite a surprising amount to people who have less than I do— But there’s a reason why I’m the one who has the money in the first place, and that’s why I’m not going to give it all away. In other words, for God’s sake, I worked for that money. I worked hard. I worked. I worked. I worked hard to make that money, and it’s my money, because I made it. I made the money, and so I have it, and I can spend it any way I like. This is the basis of our entire lives. Why can I stay here in this hotel? Because I paid to stay here, with my money. I paid to stay here, and that entitles me to certain things. I’m entitled to expect that certain things will be done. Now, this morning, for example, the chambermaid left my room a mess. The floor was dirty, there were no clean sheets, and the wastepaper basket was left full. So I paid to stay here, I paid to be served, I’m entitled to service, but the chambermaid didn’t serve me properly. That was wrong.

And I’m seized by another fit of vomiting. My shoulders reach forward toward the toilet and pull me with them. My head drives toward the bowl of the toilet, and I vomit again and again and again.

Why is the old woman sick and dying? Why doesn’t she have money? Didn’t she ever work?

You idiot, you pathetic idiot, of course she worked. She worked sixteen hours a day in a field, in a factory. She worked, the chambermaid worked.—You say you work. But why does your work bring you so much money, while their work brings them practically nothing? You say you “make” money. What a wonderful expression. But how can you “make” so much of it in such a short time, while in the same amount of time they “make” so little?

Wallace Shawn, The Fever (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1991), 37–40.

[driftwoodskeleton]

WIP Whenever

was tagged by the wonderful @captastra and fabulous @the-lastcall recently-ish, sorry it's taken me a little while to get it done, i am feeling under the weather again :')

haven't got much on the go right now other than my Ghost fic, the drawing of Terzo, and some test thing im trying for Merryn, my new Warlock in Destiny 2. words and art below the cut:)

Far Away From the Stench of the Heavens:

After a little while more, Aether finally broke the silence, his voice back to normal again.

‘’So, yer Maj, you ever gonna explain to me exactly why you and Mountain decided to have the worlds most intense staring competition back there? Don’t tell me that lanky idiot is the Antichrist, because I will give up on everything if that’s the case.’’

You looked up at him in confusion, delicate features twisted as you tried to work out what he meant. You could hardly tell him that you’d once tried to kill his friend, not after he’d been so very kind to you. But at the same time, the thought of lying burned at your spirit like acid. You decided instead to give him a question of your own. If he told the truth, so would you.

‘’I don’t know. You ever gonna explain what exactly the deal is with you and Omega? Because there’s no way that kind of anger comes just from a stupid joke, none whatsoever.’’

You paused for a second, frowning thoughtfully.

‘’And why would it matter if Mountain was the Antichrist. How would I even know?’’

Aether gave you a strange look, like it was obvious how you would know, which only served to confuse you further.

‘’Alright then, keep your secrets, your Highness. I’m sure you’ll find out mine and Omegas after you’ve been here a little while, gossip is the preferred pastime of so many Siblings here, after all. As for the Antichrist thing, maybe I’m not the best guy to explain that to you. If we have time tonight, I’ll see about taking you to someone who can explain, deal?’’

You nodded, unsurprised by his unwillingness to explain the animosity, but also refusing to judge, seeing as you were doing the exact same thing.

Dead Woman Walking:

Merryn rolled her eyes, an exasperated sigh hissing its way from between those unearthly lips. Devrim shifted from one foot to the other slightly, uncomfortable. It felt like he was seeing something secret, that wasn't meant for the eyes of a mere human. The reluctant Guardian was talking again, tone dripping with fury. Despite his better judgement, Devrim couldn't help but listen.

''You think this is a blessing?? You think that I would ever choose something like this for myself, that I'd choose to be some awful puppet of that damn Traveler?! I don't give a damn how long you were looking for me, I want you to put me back! Go find someone else! I am not playing this fucking game, you worthless bundle of scrap metal!''

The Ghost was saying something in response, trying its best to sooth the furious Awoken, but it didn't seem to be working. In all his years at the Farm and just the EDZ in general, Devrim had never seen anyone react like this to becoming a Guardian. Sure, you got the odd one who was afraid, or confused, but never anyone actively furious to have been brought back. He wondered about the life Merryn had left behind. It must have been special, if she was this angry at losing it.

Though, now that he thought about it, didn't Guardians lose all memories of their pasts when they were brought back? To avoid this kind of thing? Something must have gone wrong then, if she remembered enough to be angry. Very wrong.

Terzo WIP:

mmm so blurry and unfinished. alas, artblock means he will go unfinished for a while yet:')

no pressure tags: @toyapandora @the-laridian @strangefable @purplehairsecretlair and anyone else with anything to share, consider this me tagging you too:)

[sageourplanetmeow]

I swear this idea was so imbecilic, it made one teacher out me at my school because he seemed concerned about having to do it in the future due to this rule. If I had transphobic parents then I would’ve felt even more horrible than I already did. The rule is just so stupid because… you know… you’re endangering a kid? A child? A real person with emotions? Because they’re trans?

And even if you don’t have transphobic parents, hearing that you’re going to get outed will ruin your day, you’ll be a nervous wreck, you’ll be in tears and will feel like you’ve been punished because your parents got a bloody phone call as if you’ve done something wrong because you came out at school. Schools in the uk (at least mine) are horrible for trans people at the moment- I wonder why? The sort of policies the tories have been pushing are downright evil, if a student is already getting bullied at school for being gender queer then isn’t that enough torment? But to continue this cycle of hate by forcing teachers (or having teachers who are already willing to out students) to out trans students to their parents/guardians as if it’s a behavioural issue or a mental health issue? My parents got called and I was forced to confess like it was a sin or something. And then they had a meeting with them, about what? Me being genderqueer? Them presenting themselves as AlLiEs. It’s incredibly daft (although I have no doubts that the tories might’ve just been fine with this happening with all they’ve done) that they even dared thinking of this policy because DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT MENTAL HEALTH IS!? Outing a teen is such unfair stress to put on them, having them just cry in the yard behind a bench in anger and fear and frustration and a- hang on- a feeling of guilt? That’s right! When you get a kid in your office or a classroom, sit down and ask them about their future life choices only to turn around and say “well I need to out you to your parents k?~”, it makes them feel subconsciously like they’ve done something bad, they’ve missed their break and part of their lesson as if they’re in trouble, and now they’re crying in class because they don’t know what will happen when they go back home. And they feel like deep down they’ve done something wrong or they feel frustrated about this, and they feel stupid about even coming out in the first place. They’ve had enough trust in you and the school to come out and to tell you “oh I might transition or get a binder etc etc” only for you to turn around and say you’re outing them. That’s just deceitful, that’s horrific. And if a teacher who physically doesn’t want to out a kid had to do it, then what’s happening then? I’d feel sick if I ever had to do something so horrid. I can’t imagine what it would be like as the teacher. But I know what it’s like to be the distressed pupil, and I’m very glad this hasn’t become a real rule yet, and I hope it never will be. I am not joking when I say that it’ll make you so ashamed and guilty as if it’s your fault, I am not joking when I say that you’ll feel close to tearing up when you tell your parents or you’ll be straight up crying. Coming out is hard enough, but a law that says that if you come out at school that you have to be outed to your parents- that’s scarring. It’s an experience no one, especially a teen or a child should ever have under any circumstance I can think of.

Anyhow, I agree with this post, it’s a nice one. I’m glad to hear lots of teachers would not like the idea of outing a child, but also saddened by the fact that if this policy ever becomes a reality that they would actually have to do this against their own will. Horrible stuff. Overall, I’m hopeful about it since teachers say they don’t want to out kids.

I know this proposed policy has been floating around for a long time, but to bring it up again during pride month is pretty shitty.

This current leak is pretty concerning, as it doesn't mention exemptions for safeguarding, which previous leaks did.

However, if you want to feel a little bit better about the world, then there's a reddit thread here with a lot of teachers saying they'd rather lose their job than out a trans child against their will: https://www.reddit.com/r/TeachingUK/comments/14db7o6/forced_to_out_lgbt_students/

If all school staff refuse to comply, then any guidance is meaningless.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

[Chapter 2] Getting to Know the Boss

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Kento Nanami x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Smut, Bath Sex, Vaginal Sex, Dressing Room Oral Sex (m. receiving), Car Fingering, Creampie, Teasing

Kento eats in silence at the dining table while he waits for you to say something about the events that just happened. You eat peacefully across from him, wearing sweatpants and a tank top. You eat as if nothing had just happened which should give him the relief that you’re not going to threaten him with his job or anything, yet he’s still freaking out. You seem to happily eat the food, and yet he’s worried about what you’ll say next. About how he fucked up. It’s all illogical because if you hadn’t wanted it, you wouldn’t have initiated anything.

You eat a burger and fries in peace, nothing too special but Kento didn’t know what to pick. Surely nothing could’ve gone wrong with this, since sometimes you order him to get you a burger while working late at night. He got the same meal for himself and he eats quietly. Because he has to eat something. But Kento isn’t very hungry.

“What do you want to do tomorrow after we’re done shopping?” You speak up which catches the man off guard. He shrugs before verbally saying,

“I don’t know. Whatever you want to do, ma’am.” He answers, making a laugh come from your lips. Kento raises his eyebrow as he looks at you. You put two fries in your mouth and chew slowly. You watch him intently, trying to figure out what’s going on inside his brain. When you swallow, you speak,

“I wonder what’s going on inside your mind, Kento.” It catches him off guard when you use his first name. He’s about to ask why but you answer the question before he can ask it. “You just came inside of me and yet you’re calling me ma’am. You were just talking about getting me pregnant, and here you are, not even an hour later.”

“I’m sorry? Should I not?” He questions and you chuckle before you bring the vanilla milkshake’s straw up to your lips. Kento is beyond confused, but considered you called him by his first name and the fact that he literally just had sex with you, he shouldn’t be. 

“We’re in a hotel room. About to share a bed. There’s no employees around. Should you be calling me ma’am?” You tilt your head to the side and he laughs when he realizes his absurdity. You continue eating in silence before you speak up, “You talk about your daughter, and I wonder if you’ve ever been married.”

“I have been. We got divorced, though.” He answers, grabbing a napkin to clean his mouth. It sparks your curiosity, and you feel as if he’s taking too long to speak again. “She was cheating on me too. Thing is, it was with a woman. Apparently when we slept together she wanted to check if she really liked men, and she got pregnant. So we ended up getting married.”

“Oh, so you got married because of your daughter.” You comment and he hums in response. “Same thing happened to my parents. Except they’re still together. My mom just doesn’t like me because– Sorry, I didn't mean to overshare.”

“No, it’s fine!” Kento assures you. It’s the first time he hears something so personal, other than the moans he just heard from you.

“My mom just doesn’t like me because I tied her down to my dad, and even though she wanted to leave she couldn’t.” You say. “But it’s fine. I’m rich, young, and pretty.”

“You are.” He laughs.

“Do your daughter and her mom get along?” You ask, and Kento wants to nod but he isn’t sure if he can. He takes a moment to answer,

“Her mother treats her very well but she doesn’t like the woman. They barely spend time together and when they do, Asami is annoyed.” Kento answers, which makes the man wonder what his mother tells his daughter about his ex-wife. Yet he never cares to question it because his ex-wife isn’t the best mother. Not even a mediocre one. She loves her daughter, yet she doesn’t really try.

“She’ll come around. She’s probably looking for someone to blame for your divorce, and she chose the least favorite parent.” You comment as you stand up from the chair. Kento raises an eyebrow, wondering if he really is his daughter’s favorite parent. You walk over to him and put your hands on his shoulders and begin to massage them. You lean down, your lips going down to his ear,

“How about we change the topic and talk about something more fun… Wait, let’s not really talk.”

“Hmm… What are you thinking?” He responds.

“Run a bath and soak… If you know what I mean.” You tell him and he hides back a smile. You begin to walk to the bathroom, taking off your tank top and tossing it behind you. Kento’s cheeks turn pink as he stands up and begins to follow you. You reach the bathroom and turn on the faucet of the bathtub, and while you wait for it to fill up, you take off your sweatpants. The moment the pants hit the floor, Kento walks into the bathroom.

His hands land on your waists while his lips meet yours. Your tongues glide over each other while your hands begin to unbutton his shirt, finishing up the job that you didn’t finish earlier. He really thought that he’d only get to have sex with you once, yet it’s about to happen again. 

Your hands undo each button, and you end up taking off the shirt, letting it fall to the floor. You pull away from the kiss to comment, “God, you’re not even trying to take off your clothes. I have to do it all. I have such a lazy employee.”

“I like seeing you work for it.” Kento comments, his hands going to his belt. He unbuckles it and takes it off, before unbuttoning his pants. He lets them fall to the floor, along with his boxers. You both share a couple more kisses before he turns off the faucet and gets into the tub. You follow after him and sit on him.

He grabs the body wash that the hotel offers, and pours some on his hands. His hands lands on your tits and he begins to massage them, while his lips kiss the side of your neck. His hands knead your tits as his mouth sucks on your neck, making the softest moans escape your lips. It’s almost comical that he was just calling you ma’am.

“There… Fuck– There.” You moan while he sucks on the right spot. One of his hands stops massaging your boob and it goes down to your pussy. He smacks your cunt three times before his fingers begin to play with your clit. Kento’s mouth then goes up to your ear and he nibbles on your earlobe before saying,

“Do you know how much I’ve thought about this?” He whispers, his fingers pinching your nipple. He stops playing with your clit, his fingers running through your folds. You bite your bottom lip as your hips buck at his touch. You wait for him to insert his fingers inside of you, but he teases you.

“Don’t tease your sweet boss like this.” You comment, shutting your eyes as Kento just runs his fingers through your folds. Occasionally he gives a circular motion on your clit but his fingers quickly return to teasing you. He laughs at your comment before responding,

“Sweet?” He questions. You’re anything but sweet to him. Maybe tonight you’ve been sweet. Any other time? You’re the devil. A very hot devil dare he say. You seem so desperate, yet you won’t beg. And he’s sure he won’t do anything until you’re begging him to.

He feels your hand grab his cock, and he knows he’s about to receive the very same treatment. However, you align his cock up with your entrance, making him think you’ll push it in, so he stops his teasing. Both of his hands go to your waist so he can help you move. It catches him off guard when you begin to rub your cunt on his cock and do nothing else.

“Fuck-” You moan and then bite your bottom lip, and while Kento knows that it feels good, he wants to feel your cunt wrapped around him again. In other words, he’s receiving the same treatment and he’s mad.

“Please…” He mutters while he feels your cunt rub on his cock. You chuckle, thinking about how pathetic he is. A man that can’t handle a taste of his own medicine. But you end up giving in, inserting his dick into you.

You leave it without moving for a minute, while Kento reaches for the soap again and gets it in his hands. He begins to rub it on your body while you decide when you’re going to move. He begins to play with your breasts again, one hand pinching your nipple while the other kneads the other boob.

You begin to move on his cock, and his hands move down to your waists. He bites down his bottom lip, not wanting to tell his boss how good she’s making him feel. Again . This is the second time he fucks his boss in the night, and he can’t believe how lucky he is. He knows he’s a rebound and his job might be on the line after this trip, but you best believe he’s going to enjoy every last second of this.

“Hmm… Love your dick.” You comment as you move up and down his length. His cock hits all the right spots, and you move just right so it brushes against your g-spot. 

The water splashes around with your every move and it lands on the floor of the bathroom. Kento hates this view because he wants to watch your face as you take his cock, but he doesn’t get that beautiful view. He gets a view of your back and that’s it… He can’t even look at your ass. Although he doesn’t have time to be mad because your cunt is still wrapped around him, and you’re still moaning as you ride his cock.

“So good, Kento-” You moan, one hand going to your clit to stimulate it while you move. Kento helps you out and begins to move in and out of you. He sets a much faster pace than the one you had set. Much more water splashes out of the bathtub now. But neither of you are paying attention to the mess you’re making.

“You like that?” He questions, one hand going on your neck and pushing you back onto him. He’s kissing your jaw while thrusting in and out of you. You feel your orgasm approach. He feels it too as your cunt tightens around his cock. “Fuck-”

“I’m gonna-” You begin before you bite down your bottom lip. You loudly moan before you come around his cock. Kento continues thrusting in and out of you, putting all of his energy into this, as if it’ll be his last time of the night.

“Such a good little cunt.” He moans. He still can’t believe he’s fucking his boss. In fact, this is the second time in the night that he’ll come inside of her. Maybe he should ask before coming inside of you again, but you didn’t complain after the first time, and you’re not reminding him to pull out. In fact, you moan uncontrollably. 

“Oh, shit-” He says when he finally reaches his release. He fills you up with his cum once again, and he doesn’t take his cock out until he’s finished. When his cock is out of your cunt, your turn around and kiss his lips.

“Better wash up.” You grab the soap. “We have a very long night ahead of us.”

You wake up next to your secretary after a very long night . A night filled with missionary, doggie, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and mating press. Your libido has always been high, but never this high. Maybe fucking your secretary makes your sexual drive higher.

You’re sore the next day, so you run up a warm bath before starting your day. Before your secretary wakes up. Although you’re not the most considerate person, after all the hard work he put in the previous night, you tiptoe around the place to not make a sound.

You take a warm bath, excited about the day ahead of you. You think about all the fun stuff you get to do for today, as well for the whole week. Best thing is work is the last thing on your mind. Just shopping till you drop with your secretary.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door, and you tell him to come in. Kento walks in and goes straight to the toilet. You hold back a laugh as you hear him pee. Really it’s nothing comical but you woke up in a good mood today. He walks to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth.

“How’d you sleep?” You ask, as if he can answer with a toothbrush in his mouth. You patiently wait for him to finish brushing his teeth so he can answer the question. Once he rinses his mouth he answers,

“Pretty good. Although I barely slept.” He responds. He isn’t lying because after all the least thing you did was sleep. You slept for maybe four hours. You laugh before you signal for him to walk over to you, which he does.

“Give me a kiss.” You tell him, and he raises an eyebrow. “After what we did last night? Is a kiss too much to ask for?”

He chuckles before he leans and pecks your lips, “Good morning. How’s my beautiful boss doing?”

“That’s better.” You smile at him. “Do you want to go out for breakfast and then do a bit of shopping?”

“That sounds fun.” He responds before he begins to walk out of the bathroom. Although you want him to join you, you end up staying silent because you both know that an invitation will result in not going out at all.

“Oh yeah, Kento! Call the chauffeur and tell him to drop off the car! I want to drive!” 

“You got it!”

“Let's go to that store! I want to buy you something.” You walk through the streets of the city when a certain store catches your eye. Kento isn’t sure how to respond other than to follow you. You sleep together one time and you’re already treating him like a boyfriend– Although it could be considered as a nice gift to the secretary that puts up with your occasional horrible moods.

“I think it’s fine.” He answers but you still walk into the store. You’re immediately greeted, and you mutter a hello back before walking around the store to find some clothes for Kento. While he’s always looking good, you find yourself bored of staring at the same clothes every single day. He awkwardly follows you around while you find a whole new wardrobe for him.

“What size shirt do you wear?” You ask him while you take one good look at him. You’re guessing a medium.

“A large.” He answers. Now that you know his size, you begin to pass him the shirts you want him to wear. He’ll have to try them on but it’s best for him to do that after he has all the clothes with him. You’re not even close to picking everything you want to buy for him

“After this we can go buy some clothes and toys for your daughter.” You inform him. He isn’t sure how to respond to that. You’re paying for everything so he shouldn’t worry about it and just accept it as a gift, but he doesn’t feel comfortable with that. He feels like a sugar baby. You chat about something, he’s not really keeping up with that, he just knows he wants you to stop picking out clothes. “My friend Gojo lives around here with his wife… Can’t remember her name. Something with a flower… Lily- No. Sunflower? No… Rose! Yep. Maybe we can visit them.”

“Isn’t this enough clothes?” Kento asks as you keep talking. He’s never seen you this chatty before, but then again this is the first time he’s with you outside of the work environment. You give him a weird look, raising your eyebrow at his question.

“Are you paying?” You reply and he shakes his head. Before he can say anything else, you respond, “That’s what I thought.”

Kento sighs, but doesn’t say anything else. He shouldn’t complain because he is receiving free clothes. Once you’re bored of picking out clothes for him, you tell him, “Go try them on.”

He ends up going to the dressing room, and you wait around since nothing in the store really catches your eye. Ralph Lauren isn’t your cup of tea. 

You get bored of standing around so you go to the dressing room, hoping that Kento will show how some of the outfits look on him. You call out his name, “Kento.”

“Here!” He opens the door of the dressing room and walks out to show you a combination of a dress shirt and pants. You feel your cheeks get warm, and you look around for a second. You see that there’s no one around, so you walk over towards him. He’s confused as to why you walk over towards him, until you’re right on his face, your hands on his chest as you slightly push him into the dressing room. He smirks, knowing what’s about to happen.

“In public?” He questions and you hum in response. You get on your knees and unbutton the pants before undoing the zipper. You pull them down to the floor along with his boxers.

“I’m definitely buying these for you.” You comment before your hand wraps around his cock and you give it a couple of strokes as your tongue circles around the tip. Kento bites his bottom lip, not wanting a single moan to escape his lips. Not even a weird sounding breath. He doesn’t need any attention drawn to you. Especially since this is illegal.

You taste the salty precum on your tongue before your mouth wraps around his cock, taking all that your mouth can handle. While you tend to be an overachiever, the store’s fitting room isn’t the best place to gag on his cock and ruin your makeup. What you’re doing is perfect though because it takes everything in Kento not to start moaning in the dressing room.

He looks down at you, and you look back up at him. You love watching as he struggles not to moan, but that also reminds you to be careful. Neither of you want to get in trouble, even when you’re doing something you’re definitely not supposed to be doing. You take his cock out of your mouth and drag your tongue from the base of his shaft to the tip. Your mouth wraps around his cock again.

You bob your head while your hands stroke the parts that aren’t in your mouth. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re in public, Kento would be pushing your head forcing you to take all of him. He usually isn’t mean, but then again you aren’t the nicest to him. It’d be a way of payback. 

“Such a good mouth.” He mutters. He can’t say anything else in fear that someone is walking by and listening to him. Any noise can be a giveaway, and he has to be as careful as he can be. The slurping noises as your mouth moves along his cock is the dead giveaway. 

You don’t seem to care, you know no one is around. If you did, you’d bribe the person. You have enough money to get yourself out of any trouble.

“God-” He tries his best to hold back the moans that threaten to leave his lips. He’s so close to finishing, it’s hard. Too hard. Your mouth feels so nice, it’s almost impossible for him not to let out any type of noise. But he manages to suppress it as he shuts his eyes.

You keep bobbing your head until his cum hits the back of your throat. That’s when you hear a groan. You detach your mouth from his cock when every drop of your cum is in your mouth. You smile at him as you stand up.

“Try the rest of the clothes on, then meet me outside to pay.” You tell him. You open the dressing room’s door and exit, not giving him a second to at least pull his boxers up. 

Kento sighs. This definitely feels like the sugar baby treatment.

“Where do you want to go out to eat?” You ask, driving around, unsure of where to go next. You’ve spent the whole day shopping, stopping just to eat some food. It’s fair to say that Kento is surprised with the amount of money you’ve spent– Not only on yourself, but on him and his daughter as well. He’s certainly thankful but at the same time it doesn’t feel right for you to be buying all this stuff for him.

“How about we go to that restaurant you wanted to have dinner at yesterday?” He suggests. You think about it for a second but then dismiss the idea.

“I’m not dressed for that. Let’s just do something casual.” You respond. Before Kento responds, you speak again. “Hmm… How about we go eat some pizza?”

“Pizza? Oh, sure. I heard New York pizza is great.” Kento replies. 

“Look up a place in the GPS.” You order, which he does. You begin to drive per the instructions of the GPS. After a day filled with meaningless conversation, you sit in silence as you drive. There’s nothing in either of your minds. Well, there’s sex in your mind while Kento is tired of just shopping.

You have similar thoughts, all of them being far too dangerous to do while driving. Sure, Kento is tired. But never too tired to have sex with his boss. He has to take advantage of every single opportunity he has with you because after this trip is over, he’s back to being poor miserable secretary Kento.

Within ten minutes you’re parked outside the place, and you both exit the car to enter the small pizza place. He opens the door for you and you step into the place. You look at Kento and ask him, “What kind of pizza do you want? Do you want to share a large one?”

“Uh yeah… Vegetables are fine with me.” He answers. You side-eye him. 

“Let’s do half and half.” You respond because tonight you definitely don’t see yourself eating vegetables with your pizza. He chuckles and shakes his head.

“Get whichever you want and I’ll eat it with no trouble.” He ends up saying. Which you end up doing before taking a seat in one of the booths of the place. He takes a seat across from you and looks at the time on his watch. He excuses himself before he grabs his phone.

He’s about to get up and step out of the place, but it’s too loud outside. You sure won’t get mad over something so minimal. You watch him tap away on his phone before he brings it up to his ear. You can easily guess who he’s calling, so while he begins the call, you start using your phone to not awkwardly stare at him.

“Hey. Is Asami awake?” Kento greets his ex-wife and is quick to ask for his daughter. A sigh leaves his lips hearing the words from the other side of the phone. “How are you? Can I talk to my daughter now?”

You look up at him to find him rolling his eyes. You can tell he’s annoyed by the expression on his face. Your eyes go back to your phone before he can look at you. The last thing you want is to make eye contact while this conversation goes on.

“Hi, Asami. How are you, honey?” He greets his daughter. Even if he hadn’t said her name, you’d know by the tone of his voice. He talks much more sweetly to his daughter. “I miss you too. New York is fun. I bought you some stuff, and I know you’ll love it.”

It’s nice to hear him talk to his daughter and see how nice he is with her. So sweet too. You know he adores his daughter, always mentioning her when he has the opportunity. Although you’ve never really cared. But now it’s nice to hear him talking to her.

“Okay. Please behave, honey. I love you. I’ll be back soon, okay? Love you. Bye.” He hangs up the phone, and you put down your phone as well. 

“You seem like a good dad.” You comment and for some reason, Kento’s cheeks go warm and change to a pink shade. It’s just a harmless comment.

“Thank you. I try.” He replies. That comment makes Kento extremely curious, and he begins to chew on the inside of his cheek while he debates if he wants to ask a certain question. It could result in you being mad, something that could be easily fixed with sex… “I’m not asking for any particular reason but… Have you ever thought about having a kid?”

“Hmm… Kids are fine, I don’t mind them but I don’t really see myself as a mother. I feel like I’d do a terrible job.” You confess. “Plus at this time of my life work is the most important thing. By the time work isn’t my priority, I’ll be too old to have my own.”

“That makes sense.” He responds, which is followed by an apology, “Sorry for such an intense question.”

“It’s fine.” You say. He should be able to get to know you a little better, considering he’s fucking you for the rest of the week.

“I don’t mean to pry… But, since work is your priority, should you really consider getting married? A partner and a child are very different but they both require a lot of attention and-”

“I didn’t really ask for your advice, now, did I?” You cut him off and he looks down at the table in embarrassment as he mutters a weak apology. He stepped on the line, forgetting that you’re still his boss. You sigh. “For the record, you’re right.”

After dinner, you drive back to the hotel in silence. Some music plays in the background which sets the mood for the two of you. Kento is the one behind the wheel now, his hand on your thigh. You look at him while he focuses on the road ahead of him.

“You’re very handsome, Kento.” You say, and he laughs. It’s unexpected, but he certainly doesn’t mind the compliment.

“Thank you.” He responds. “And you’re a very beautiful woman. You have no idea how many times I’ve looked at you and thought how lucky the guy that got with you would be.”

“Aren’t you a lucky guy then?” You bring your head to his neck, placing a kiss on it before your lips go up to his ear. “If you can pull the car over then we can–”

“I want to get to the hotel, but I have a good idea.” He interrupts you. Before you can ask him what his idea is, he speaks again. “Take off your pants.”

You do as he says, and although it’s not the easiest thing, you manage to take off your pants. You grab his hand, and guide it to your panties. You’re clearly eager, that he can tell. He moves your panties to the side, his middle and ring finger running through your folds.

“Look at you, can’t wait till you’re back at the hotel.” He clicks his tongue, as if he wasn’t the one who was suggesting this. His fingers circle your clit a couple of times which makes a couple breathy moans leave your lips. “Didn’t know my boss was so naughty. Ill-tempered? Yes. But so lustful?”

“God, shut up. Put your fingers inside me and shut up.” You respond and he laughs. He continues teasing you, which you can now say is something that he enjoys. Before you can reprimand him for wasting precious time, he inserts two fingers into your cunt. “That’s better.”

Kento moves his thick fingers in and out of you, hearing as your sweet moans almost outmatch the music that plays in the car. He holds back a smile, imagining the sweet mess that you’ll make when you come. Your hand goes down so your finger plays with your clit while he moves his fingers in your cunt.

He moves them perfectly, it’d make you think that he’s done this before many many times. Last night was the first time you’ve been together, which is crazy to think about considering he’s treating your body so well. “Kento, it’s so good-”

The sound of your phone ringing almost kills the mood. Kento doesn’t stop as you pull it out of your purse. You don’t want him to stop even though you have to pick up the phone. “I have to- Pick up the phone.”

“Can’t you do it with my fingers inside of you?” He asks with a taunting tone. You roll your eyes and end up picking the phone.

“Hey… Heavyn?” You ask, unsure of her name. You just know she managed to get your number and offered you to be on the cover of Forbes. She’s some sort of assistant, your guess would be for the editor-in-chief. “Hmm… Is that so? I guess you can stay in contact with my secretary so you two can work out the next date then.”

It takes much effort from you to put on a normal voice while Kento curls his fingers. “Yeah, yeah, I don’t care.”

“They canceled next week’s shoot.” You inform him as you hang up. You feel your orgasm build up as he continues uninterrupted.

“Hmm… Why?” He asks, yet you stay quiet because you only want to do one thing and it’s finish, which you can’t do while you talk about your problems. Your hips buck and once again your moans begin to fill up the car.

“Oh shit- I’m gonna-” You say as your orgasm gets closer and closer. Your legs spasm and you shut your eyes as you come all over his fingers. You certainly don’t make the mess he was expecting, but when he takes his fingers out they’re covered in your juices. He brings them up to his lips and licks them clean. 

“Why did they cancel?” Kento repeats his question when he takes his fingers out of his mouth.

“Something about- Finding someone else.” You regulate your breath. “Something dumb. They thought I’d fit better for another cover. They just don’t want to tell me they found someone else. I don’t care.”

“Why did they reach out to you in the first place? Not that you’re not special or super important but–”

“I’ve been in the magazine before. A couple times so…” You answer. “I don’t really care. But I don’t have an excuse to be here anymore so I guess our trip will be cut a couple of days short.”

“Oh… How short?” He can’t help but question. Once the trip is over, whatever you two have going on will be over too.

“We’ll be leaving in two days.” You answer, which isn’t too bad. It still sucks that the trip is cut short. “You know something, Kento…”

You begin and he hums in response. He doesn’t know what to expect from you. Before you can answer he warns you, “We’re almost at the hotel, put your pants back on.”

“Oh yeah…” You chuckle, completely forgetting that you have a destination. “What we have going on doesn’t have to end when we’re back home.”

“What…?” Kento asks, completely caught off guard. 

“Don’t you think that the past day has been nice?” You question, and he hums in response. “So why don’t we do it a couple more times? Until we get bored of each other.”

“Yeah… I guess we can keep doing it.” He responds, unsure of how else to respond. He definitely knows that he wants to keep fucking you. “Does it go against any company rules?”

“Does it matter? I’m the boss.” You laugh. “We have nothing to worry about.”

🏷 @kamikat @snottykitty @r3nii11 @fushiguros-eyelashes @ur-mums-side @baji-keisukes-wife @uhremmi @thisbicc @mykyoon @lysol1201 @rumi-rants @mimizsworld @hyperfixationsporfavor @levismainbabe @charismaya @blinkingsuns @erenputurchildreninsideme @noticemeakusenpai @attackonsimpp @yeosxxx @kurookinnie @thatbitchsstuff @lilith412426 @ddostoyevskyy @shaquille-oatmeals-world @mangalind @wifeofgeto @puddingbasyi @fragmentedstarlight @4lch3mist @tojianddabisslut @aizensgf @scarlet-kazuha @sugadrops03 @33yaeyaeeee @mikasa019 @justnamuaf @watyousayin @hnysmut @etherealkakashi @shartnart1 @s-witch-bitch @apchmon

[ofstoriesandstardust]

forever winter (lt. jake “hangman” seresin)

a/n: i feel like we don’t talk about Jake post-suicide mission enough, so i wrote this. honestly this has been the most difficult thing i’ve ever written and i’m so glad to be done with it. i don't know why introspective pieces about Jake give me so much creative trouble but they do

summary: He knows, that on some level at least, he’s not good enough, no matter how much he pretends to be. So he puts on the facade, the “too good to be true” act, and hope no one sees through the cracks. The cracks though, are getting harder and harder to hide. Because he wasn’t good enough, was he? Sure, he saved them, but he still wasn’t enough. And maybe... maybe he’s not good enough to be here. With them. With the Navy. Maybe it’s time he start to figure out life outside the Navy, re-find and meet Jake, a person he hasn’t seen in so long, since the Hangman persona took over. 

Because Hangman’s the reason no one likes him, the reason no one wants him around. They say they do now, but all good things must come to an end. It’s only a matter of time. 

And then he meets her. 

inspired by taylor swift’s “forever winter” and you should definitely listen while you read it.

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

warnings: kissing, insecurities, swearing, hurt/comfort, angst with a hopeful ending, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts (if you look very closely), PTSD, child abuse, alcohol, lowkey a character study, as in the relationship is not the main focus, my hometown knowledge pulled through for this one, the author believes men’s mental health needs more attention, gross abuse of italics, i did minimal research about resignation from the Navy

word count: 6,416

The lockers around him open and close as he reviews that day’s training over and over in his head, wondering where he went wrong. 

You’re not good enough. 

Someone claps him on the shoulder, startling him. He blinks the thoughts away, to see the face of his best friend, looking down at him worriedly. “You coming Hangman?” 

He takes a deep breath, running his palms down his flight suit. He still hasn’t changed, the only one. 

You’ll never change. 

“Nah, nah, I think I’m gonna pass on this one.” Coyote bites his lip, searching for an answer before Rooster’s cutting him off. 

“Hangman, you’ve hardly come out with us at all recently. Think you’re avoiding us or something. Decide you’re too good for all us mere mortals?” 

Bradshaw’s tone is teasing, meant to be a friendly jab, but Jake’s skin prickles at the teasing regardless. Coyote sighs, grip on his shoulder tightening. His touch burns him. 

Coyote deserves better, he knows it. Coyote, who’s been such a good friend, a loyal one. He can already see it, that one day he’ll realize that he’s become so accepted by the rest of the Daggers that- why did he ever really need Jake in the first place? 

It’s what Coyote deserves. He wants that for him honestly. To not be dragged down by Hangman anymore, to be confined to the box that puts him in. He hasn’t made it easy for him, he knows. 

So better for the break to just be clean, to stop coming around, to stop setting himself up for failure. Sure, they all seem to like him right now, but these things don’t last forever and he knows it’s only a matter of time before they go back to how they were before. He can’t ask Coyote to do that, can’t ask Coyote to go back to living on the island with him, to give up all these great friends he’s made. He doesn’t want to hope that these people might stay his friends, doesn’t know how to. 

So he won’t. He won’t let any of that happen. Won’t set himself up for failure once again. 

“Hangman?” 

It’s Bob’s voice this time. 

He swallows, looking up to meet the brown of eyes of the soft-spoken boy of their team. “You good? You zoned out there for a few minutes.” 

He stands up, ignoring the looks he’s getting from his team mates, making him want to run and hide. He wants to come up with a witty response, shake the concern, but his mouth feels dry, like it’s full of cotton and he’s blanking on the words that usually come so naturally to him. So instead, he just grabs his shower stuff, shutting the locker behind him, leaving his not-friends-just-coworkers confused and concerned in his wake. 

-

He isn’t sure why he pulled into the parking lot of the bowling alley and arcade, a good twenty minute drive from Miramar without traffic. It’s across town, in El Cajon, and honestly, he isn’t sure why this is where he ended up. He just knows that once he pulled out of the parking lot, drove off base, he picked one direction and drove. 

He ignores the fact that he waited for everyone to leave the locker room and even longer in the parking lot to make sure everyone else had gone. 

His grip tightens around the steering wheel and then untightens as he swallows, working up the nerve to go inside. He had no business being here, no friends to meet up with. 

No friends. 

He winces at the thought, letting out a sigh as he turns the ignition off, the car falling silent. He weighs his options, to go inside, to people watch, to eat shitty food, or to go back to an empty home where the silence rages louder than any noisy bowling alley. 

The decision is made in a split second and he’s pulling his seatbelt off as he gets out of the car, something fueling every step towards the doors. Pulling them open, he’s immediately greeted by the sounds of bowling balls hitting the lane, the machines returning balls, the music from 2012 only overshadowed by the loud cheers of different groups of friends. He lets his eyes map out the room as he walks towards the food area, stomach jumping at the greasy pizza he can see behind the counter. His eyes skim over the menu, unable to stomach the thought of any of this food. 

Never mind the fact that he’s struggled to keep down any food since the mission, unable to bring himself to eat in the first place. He turns, unsure of what to do with himself now that he’s in here. He has no business being here and suddenly it feels like it shows. Like everyone can read him, like everyone knows. 

His fingers are twitching as he slides down at a table near the back, looking out at all the lanes. It’s a Tuesday night, so the alley is half-full, maybe. The largest group happens to be at the closest to him, their laughter the loudest thing in the room. 

It makes some part of him ache, thinking about how badly he wants that. How badly he doesn’t deserve it. 

He thinks of his team, at the Hard Deck, probably a mirror image of the sight in front of him. 

They don’t need him.

He blinks, realizing someone’s appeared in front of him. She offers him a small smile as he clears his throat. “Hi.” She says, momentarily pulling one the hands that’s holding her bowling ball to wave at him. “Came to return this, can never pick the right size, but you seem... kind of upset.” 

She turns as someone from the group calls her name and she looks over. “Stop talking to strangers!” They shout, laughing. She rolls her eyes, ignoring them. 

“Sorry if I’m... being weird or like... creepy? You just seemed kind of upset and you’ve been sitting here all alone, for like, fifteen minutes.” 

He blinks, wondering if he’s really been lost in his thoughts for that long. He shakes his head, looking back up to the girl. “I’m good.” He says, forcing a smile. It hurts, makes him dizzy with the force he puts into making it believable. 

She tilts her head, clearly not quite believing him. “Well, if you, uh, wanted to join my friends and I, we wouldn’t mind. Unless, you’re waiting on someone, which is totally cool, I just- sorry.” She rushes out, cheeks going an unmistakeable red, even in the dark lighting of the bowling alley. 

His chest tightens at the thought of joining her group, the group that’s caught his eye since he got here. Something akin to hope flares in his chest as he realizes she doesn’t know him. 

They don’t know you. Not like the team does. 

This could be a chance to see if there’s still something in him left worth saving and so he finds himself nodding, standing up from the table. Her smile is bright as she turns, walking back to her table, him trailing a few steps behind. You turn to the group, introducing them all to him. One of her friends, Blaise (he’s pretty sure that’s what she introduced him as), smirks. 

“And what’s your friend’s name?” 

You pause, turning to him. “I guess I didn’t get your name.” 

“Jake.” He says, the words sounding strange on his tongue, so used to introducing himself by his callsign. 

They don’t need to know Hangman. 

You nod, introducing yourself to him. “Nice to meet you Jake.” 

One of the girls, Morgan, joins in with Blaise’s teasing. “So distracted by the attractive man you forgot to get a new bowling ball. It’s your turn, by the way.” 

You immediately blush, smiling sheepishly at him. Muttering an apology, you turn and jog back to exchange the ball and jog back in order to take your turn. He takes a few steps back from the group, watching you play as he sticks his hand in the pockets. 

It’s not good.

The ball barely stays in the lane before slipping into the gutter as your friends boo. You walk back to the group as Blaise gets up to take his own turn. 

“You’re not very good at this.” He says, the words slipping out of his mouth before he can stop them. 

He winces, waiting for you to immediately rescind the nice gesture that had been you inviting him over here. Instead, you just laugh, nodding your head. “Oh extraordinarily. But I got outvoted tonight.” 

“Outvoted?”

“Oh, we just sort take a vote to decide where we go on nights out. Or nights in, depending. But the consensus was the bowling alley, and I lost 5-to-1. I’d much rather be next door at the arcade. Consider myself a Skee-ball champ.”

“Oh yeah?” You nod, confirming. “Well, why don’t we go find out?” He says, some of his confidence returning to him. He isn’t sure where it’s coming from, haven’t seen it in weeks. Months, if he’s honest with himself. 

Not since Mitchell passed him up. 

You smile. “Alright, I’ll take you up on that.” You nudge Morgan, telling her where you’re going, and she nods as the two of you head over to the arcade. The arcade is even quieter than the bowling alley, leaving the three Skee-ball lanes completely open for the two of you. He stares at the machine as you wander off to get tokens, realizing he’s never played Skee-ball in his life. 

Not like there was all that much in his hometown, and the best escape from his Dad was drives to the next town over, which was only marginally better in that they had a movie theatre that played four movies instead of three. 

You reappear at his shoulder, counting through the tokens in the little cup. You hand them to him, setting the rest of your stuff off to the side. “So, how do you play?” He asks nervously, fighting to keep them hidden from his voice. He pretty sure he fails. “We didn’t have an arcade where I grew up.”

You don’t tease him, just explain the game to him as he feels the tokens grow sweaty in his palm. It’s simple enough, and if they let him fly the multi-million dollar planes for a living, he’s sure he can figure out an arcade game. 

May not be flying for much longer. 

He squeezes his eyes shut at the thought, willing himself to listen to you instead of his thoughts for once. 

“So where are you from Jake?” 

“Texas. You?”

“I’m a native San Diegan. ‘Bout as Californian as they get.” 

He nods. “You should meet my buddy Rooster. He embraces the fact that he’s also from San Diego. Annoys the shit out of our team.” 

“Rooster?” You ask curiously, scoring another set of points. You look up at him, raising an eyebrow as he cringes, realizing he’s let the man’s callsign slip, and then looking down at the ball still in his hand. He hasn’t even started playing. 

“Work for the Navy as a pilot. We use callsigns.” 

You nod. “Oh, gotcha. One of my family friend’s worked on the Midway before it was decommissioned and turned into a museum.” 

In all honesty, he hasn’t been to the Midway, even though he’s been stationed permanently in Miramar for the last six months. No point in driving out there to see the inside of a decommissioned aircraft carrier when he’s seen more of those than his own house in his life. 

You don’t say anything more. Usually, when girls learn he works for the Navy, they’re drooling at his feet, wanting him to tell them some epic story, usually trying to slip their way into his bed. Usually, it works. 

Jake tosses the ball up, finally deciding to start playing. 

-

He isn’t sure how long the two of you stand there playing, but it’s long enough that his legs begin to ache, even though he’s begging himself to ignore it, wanting to stand here for a few minutes more with you. It was easy. You never pushed, always just listening. Returning his competitive streak, you offered him kind smile and a loud laugh when he beat you. 

It was simple, not like the push-and-pull of his team. It was a simplicity he could see himself getting used to. 

Blaise appears at your shoulder and you turn to him as you pause your throw. “I know you’re enjoying your time with your new attractive man-friend, but we’re headed out and I am your ride.” Before Jake can open his mouth to say he could drive you, Blaise is giving him a once over and turning back to you. “And I’m not in the business of letting one of my friends wander off into a car to be murdered by a strange man she met in the bowling alley, so we’re going.” 

Jake turns, trying to remind himself that it’s not personal. Entirely reasonable. He wouldn’t let Phoenix or Halo wander off alone and get into a car with a random man they met in a bowling alley either. 

You sigh, tossing the last ball into the machine, the score flashing across the top. He isn’t sure if it’s his ears that are ringing or the machine as you take your purse from Blaise. “Give me a second. I’ll meet you at the car.” 

Blaise eyes you and then Jake. “Five minutes and then I’m coming back inside and you’re not getting a choice. I’m setting a timer as we speak.” You concede, waving him off. You sigh, turning back to him.

“Sorry, you date one shitty man and it’s game over.” You shake your head. “Anyways, it was really nice to meet you Jake.” He can’t bring himself to say anything, a lump forming his throat. Can hardly bring himself to breathe. “Um, if you wanted- I could give you my number? I’d love to see you again. Unless this is weird and you think I’m weird and you never want to see me again-”

“I’d love your number.” 

You smile through a deep breath, sliding your phone out of your back pocket to let him enter his number. He does, noting the time and swallowing as he saves the contact. “Well, it was nice to meet you Jake.” 

He nods, realizing he hasn’t thought about his shitty day since you walked over to his table two hours ago. “You as well.” 

-

He really doesn’t believe you’ll text him. It was just a passing thing, nothing more than a moment. Yet there your text is the very next morning, asking if he wants to join you for the farmers market in La Mesa on Saturday. His fingers fly over the keyboard, confirming he’ll meet you there, bright and early. 

It gives him something to look forward to, something outside the team he doesn’t really feel a part of. Maybe this is his chance to cut the cord, to walk away, before someone gets hurt. 

He feels himself being pulled back down to Earth by the thought of seeing you, of your texts, sending him pictures of your family dog and the sunset from your backyard. He reciprocates, sending back pictures of the dinner he cooked (because that’s the new thing he’s trying, cooking, as he tries to sort out his life) and the book he picked up after work that day, because that’s the other new thing he’s trying too. Anything to keep the thoughts at bay, from making a decision he can’t unmake. From doing something he’ll regret, even though right now it’s looking like the best thing. 

If the team notices a change in his behavior, they don’t say anything, though Rooster is always at his wing when they fly, Javy hovering. Jake hasn’t been to the Hard Deck in days and ignores the Dagger group chat as Saturday morning rolls around. 

The farmers market is the perfect balance of quiet and busy, bringing him a moment of calm in a stormy week. Stormy couple of months. The conversation is easy, you telling him about all the years you (and your siblings) went to preschool in the neighborhood as the two of you pick through old records and fresh fruit. He observes the obvious fact that the Saturday farmers market is part of your routine as you chat with the family that sells locally-grown honey. His heart clenches at the thought you letting him slip into your life and routine so easily. 

It’s as you’re picking through flowers for your house, asking for his opinion that he realizes this is too delicate, too fragile, to push the boundaries. 

When asked if you should get the sunflowers or wildflowers, he blurts out that he can’t date you. He isn’t sure why he says it aloud, although he knows that the words are too true. He’d break you and he’s done ruining things. Ruining people. 

You just nod and assure him that it’s okay, that you’re not looking to date either. That you’re always open to a new friend. He swallows and nods, telling you to get the wildflowers. That they suit you. 

Wild with a quiet beauty. 

The friendship grows from there, a lunch out at the Mexican restaurant just across the street from the market to a Sunday brunch turning into Taco Tuesday to drinks on Friday to another Saturday farmer’s market with lunch afterwards. He finds himself leaning more and more into your friendship, pulling farther and farther from his team mates. 

They don’t need him anyways. 

Nights away from the Hard Deck turn into weeks as he spends the time with you instead. Sometimes your friends join, sometimes it’s just the two of you. Your friends have warmed up to him, welcoming him into the group naturally. Even Blaise has settled in, joking with him, letting him into what has been a years-long friendship. 

He’s sure the Daggers don’t miss him around. Don’t miss his competitive streak, his arrogance, his jabbing and prodding and poking. 

They were better off without him.

Maybe Javy does, always feels the man hovering, waiting for Jake to talk about where he’s been disappearing off to when his feet hit the ground. But it’s been a while of this and even if Javy missed him at the beginning, he probably doesn’t miss him now. Too happy with his finally solid friendships to miss the one that had kept him out of the group in the first place. 

He’s better off without him. 

-

He knows what he has right now is fragile, delicate. One wrong move could send you spiraling out of his life with the door slamming shut behind you. He tries his best to let you go before he could hurt you, because that’s what he does. You don’t let him though, always encouraging him to stay, to talk about what’s bothering him. 

He hadn’t even mentioned that anything was wrong. 

He doesn’t mention that it’s been getting harder these days. That everyday he gets closer to walking away from the team, before someone can get hurt, before he can get someone killed. 

The only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.

He knows what he has right now is fragile, delicate. He can’t act on the feelings simmering just below the surface, can’t act on his desires. You’re too good. He’ll ruin you. It’s only a matter of time before you see what everyone else does, before you leave. No one stays.

-

It’s quiet the night he finally caves, fingers sliding over the call button before he can lose his nerve. 

He needs you. 

The phone rings once, and then twice, and- shit is it really three am? 

He goes to click the red button, to end the call, say it was an accident and sorry for bothering you when it clicks, signaling that you’ve answered. 

“Hello?” 

He doesn’t answer, suddenly forgetting how to breathe. 

“Jake? You okay?” 

He wants to answer, but he can’t remember how. 

Why had he called you again?

“Jake? You’re worrying me. Is everything okay?” 

He begins to pace again, crossing the shitty hardwood of his shitty rental, as he runs a hand up to pull through his blonde hair. Tugs at the roots, as he tries to remember what he wanted to say. “I can’t do this anymore.” He finds himself saying, because it’s true. 

He can’t lead this team, can’t be here, shouldn’t be in the Navy. He’s not good enough, never enough. 

If was enough, Mitchell would’ve chosen him as wingman. Mitchell would’ve trusted him. 

He hadn’t. Had trusted Rooster instead. 

If he’d been enough, he would’ve been faster. Wouldn’t have had so close of a shot, would’ve been there with plenty of time.

“Okay... Is it work stuff? You wanna talk about it?” Your voice is soft, kind, and he tugs at his hair harder. 

He’s going to ruin you. He’s sure of it.

Only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave. 

“I’m sorry.” He says flatly instead. “I shouldn’t have- it’s late.” 

“It’s fine.” You say automatically. “I was up anyways. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?” 

“No, I’m fine. I shouldn’t have called.” 

“Jake-” 

“Goodnight.” 

He ends the call before you can protest, struggling to breathe as he lets the phone fall from his grip as he tugs at his hair again. He barely hears the phone clatter to the floor over the ringing in his ears, his chest tightening. 

Panic attacks aren’t new to him lately, but this one brings him his knees as he realizes how badly he needs you. How much he doesn't want to let you go. How much he knows he has to. 

It isn’t fair to you, to ruin you. To hurt you. He needs to get out, before he can hurt anyone else. 

Only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.

-

He sits there, back pressed up against the foot of his bed as his ears never stop ringing. The night passes him by, dawn rolling in, bringing pink splashes through the cracks in his blinds. 

He should be getting ready for work when the phone rings again. He watches numbly as your name crosses his phone. He lets it ring once, and then twice. It rings a third time and then the screen flashes bright with a text. 

I’m worried. 

What’s going on? 

Jake, are you okay?

Jake, answer me. 

His chest aches at the hurt and worry he’s causing you. What he swore not to do. 

Fine. Just stressed about work. 

Never mind, didn’t mean to worry you. 

Sorry. 

He clicks the phone on do not disturb, pulling himself up from the ground. His limbs protest, his chest still feeling tight. He shouldn’t fly today, shouldn’t go into work. 

Shouldn’t go into work ever again. 

He swallows as he changes. 

It’s only a matter of time before the Navy agrees.

-

His skin feels taut as he goes through the motions of the day, running on no sleep and pure nerves. 

He started off his day right, slipping the paperwork into Admiral Simpson’s office and ending his pre-flight checks in Mitchell’s office, being asked what the hell is this?

I think you know exactly what that is sir. 

He’d fumbled the trainings for the day, leading to Phoenix yelling at him over the comms. All he could hear in his head, over and over again, was Javy’s disappointed sigh over the comms as he left another person behind. 

The water of the shower is scorching his skin as it falls over him, his head resting against the tile. Distantly, he can hear his teammates, chatting amongst themselves. His fingers twitch as he thinks about calling you, asking you to come over. He stretches them out as he thinks about what it would like to come home to you, pull you close to him, and just rest.

His chest aches at the thought of all that he can’t have. 

He turns the shower off, pulling himself out of his daze as he walks to his locker. He hears the door to the locker room slam open as he pulls his pants on but he doesn’t turn. It catches his attention when his body is being shoved against the locker, causing their team mates to protest and stand up, moving to stand between the two of them. 

It’s Bradshaw.

“What the hell man? I thought we were a team.”

Jake raises an eyebrow, ignoring the way his shoulder is protesting at the sudden collision against the metal lockers. “What are you on about?” 

Bradshaw, Rooster, is seething. “You know exactly what I’m on about.” 

He rolls his eyes, pushing himself off the locker and swatting Payback’s hand away. “If you’re really that mad about training today, get over it.” 

Rooster turns to Coyote, who’s watching the two of them warily. “Did you know?”

“Know what?” Hangman almost grimaces as he turns back around, opening the locker up to pull his shirt over his head. 

Time’s up. Secret’s out. 

“Seresin’s leaving us.” 

He forces himself to chance a glance at Coyote, who looks nothing short of betrayed. 

“What, decide you’re too good for our team?” Fanboy teases, but he can hear the hurt underneath the joke all the same. 

“This why you haven’t been hanging out with us?” Omaha asks, settling on the bench. 

“You know, my world does not revolve around me going to the bar with you people and listening to Bradshaw play the same shitty song from the ‘80s and playing the same game of pool over and over again. I’ve got better things to do with my time.” 

He’s being cruel now, he knows it. Pulling at any frayed thread, to make the whole thing come unraveling. To say, look it was never meant to work in the first place. 

Rooster takes a step back from him. “C’mon man, I thought we were friends.” 

“Don’t kid yourself Bradshaw. How do you even know anyways?” 

“Mav told me.”

He almost scoffs. “Of course he did.”

“He wants you to stay.”

He wants to roll his eyes and turn away. “That’s not his decision. Nor is it yours.”

“Hangman-”

“You know, it’s really none of your business whether or not I want to stay in the Navy. Nobody’s business where I go after I leave here. We’re not friends.” He snaps, not missing the way Coyote’s body language changes from defeated to guarded.

“So much for all those years we haven’t been friends Seresin.” Coyote mutters, turning away from him. 

His heart cracks at that, soul stinging in the way he’d let Hangman take over, to push these people away. “Coyote-”

“Just forget it Bagman.” Bob says, his own hurt coloring the words as his arm slings over Coyote’s shoulder as the two of them turns towards the door. Rooster shoots him one last look before he’s grabbing his bag, following them out the door. 

He can do little but watch the way the team filters out of the locker room, all tossing him looks of hurt and anger as they leave for the day. Finally, he sinks down, head in his hands as he thinks about what he’s done. 

The only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave. 

-

You’re waiting for him as he pulls into his driveway, sitting on his front porch. He sighs as he slips out of his truck, shutting the door behind him. 

He doesn’t want to do this with you now. Not today. Not after he sat in Mitchell’s office, being told he couldn’t resign without a valid reason. Couldn’t look the man in the eye all day after the conversation that morning. He still wasn’t sure how the paperwork had ended up on his desk so quickly, in matter of thirty minutes or less, but the day had made him feel hopeless. 

There was no out. Nothing left for him. 

The only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.

He wordlessly unlocks the front door, leaving it open behind him for you as he walks towards the kitchen, pulling the whiskey out of the cabinet. He hears the front door shut as he knocks the liquid back, gritting his teeth at the burn. He hasn’t medicated the pain away with alcohol since you came into his life but he’s feeling his control slip after the day he’s had.

“Jake.” You say, appearing next to him. He pours himself another shot, but you pry his fingers off the glass before he can down it. He lets you, reveling in your soft touch. 

Won’t get that for much longer. 

“Jake, you scared me last night.”

“Sorry, won’t happen again.” His words are cold, detached, as he wills himself to do this one last thing. 

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re friends. We-” 

“You should leave.”

You jerk back, fingers leaving his own as if they had burned you. “What?”

“You heard me.” His voice doesn’t feel like it’s his own, floating somewhere above him as some part of desperately begs him to stop. 

“Jake, something’s clearly wrong. I’m not leaving you.” 

“Well, I don’t want you here.” 

“Well, too fucking bad because you’re my friend and I want to be here for you.” 

He cautiously raises his eyes to meet your own. 

You want to stay? For him?

Where would he even start though?

I tried to resign from the Navy today?

My Dad used to hit me?

One of my not friends, co-worker at best, almost died because I wasn’t fast enough?

If I stay, someone’s gonna get killed because of me?

“I don’t know what to say.” He whispers and you nod. 

“That’s okay.” You say softly, hand returning to his. “Why don’t we go sit down? You don’t have to talk, but let’s just sit.” He nods, letting you guide him to the couch. He thinks he can count on one hand all the times he’s sat on the piece of furniture. You don’t let go of him as you both sit. 

He can’t meet your eye, can’t begin to tell you the truth. If you knew, you’d run. 

Maybe that’d be best. 

“You should go. I’ll only hurt you.” He says quietly, turning away from you. 

“Jake.” 

“’M not good. I- I hurt people. I ruin them. I- You need to leave.” His voice is begging now, pleading with you to see reason. 

“Jake, look at me.” You say softly. “You don’t ruin people. You’re so good, so so good. I can’t believe you don’t see it.” 

“I tried to- I need to-”

The words are trapped in his chest and it feels like he’s choking. Like if he speaks the words, he’ll be giving him the rope to hang himself with. 

“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk. It’s alright.” 

So he swallows, nods, and sits there. Allows himself to let you touch him. To rub your thumb over his shoulder blade as his head falls back against the couch.

It’s some time again before you speak.

“One of my friends in college was in the Marines.” You say quietly. “Not the same thing as the Navy, I know, but still. He wouldn’t talk about it, even if he was asked. I don’t know if he ever learned to talk about it.” He turns to look at you, even as your movements don’t cease. “We had lost touch after we graduated but-” You shift, shaking your head. “Something I’ve been thinking about lately. You don’t talk to me much about your work. ” 

He swallows, watching you as you watch him. You don’t say anything more and he realizes you’re opening the door for him to talk about it. About all of it. 

“There was this mission.” He feels himself begin to say, voice almost detached from him. He can’t bring himself to look away from you. “Almost a year ago now. Reason I got stationed out here. We- we weren’t meant to come home. One of my fr- coworkers almost died.” You just wait, listening, and he takes that as encouragement to continue. You haven’t run away yet. “He said something, about how the only place I’ll lead anyone is an early grave. Can’t help but feel like he’s right.” 

Your touch burns him, eyes staring into his soul as he wrestles with himself to lay it all bare in front of you. He pulls away, standing up to pace the small living room. You let him, simply just watching him. 

“I’m going to get them killed. There’s a reason I wasn’t selected to fly the mission. I’m- I’m gonna hurt them, gonna get someone killed. I shouldn’t be there. I’m not good enough and it’s going to cost someone their life.” 

His hands reach up to his hair, going to tug at it again, the familiar feeling of trying to ground himself as everything spins out of his control. 

“I- I feel out of control all the time. I can’t look them in the eye. I feel like I can’t breathe up there, that the only time I’m safe is on the ground. They don’t need me anyways.” 

He chances a glance back to you and every part of your face is screaming pitypitypity

He doesn’t need your pity. 

“I wanted to resign from the Navy. My CO told me no.” 

You finally break your silence, shifting up. “I’m sorry, he told you no?” 

He waves you off, starting a new round of pacing. “He needs a valid reason.”

“A valid reason? What’s more valid than I want to-?”

“Leaving is complicated and there’s a lot of paperwork, you have to have all these forms and a letter-”

“That a big decision, Jake.” You breath out, interrupting his explanation, moving to the end of the couch, looking like you might walk over to him. He hopes you don’t, despite how badly he wants to be next to you. “Are you sure of this?” 

He pauses, feeling the tears sting his eyes. 

He will do anything to not break right now. Not in front of you. 

Bitterly, he can hear his Dad in the back of his head, reminding him how weak he is. 

Real men don’t cry.

“I just don’t know what else to do.” He whispers, afraid of the words he’s speaking into the night. “I just need it all to stop.” 

That’s what propels you off the couch as you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around him. The feeling of you holding him close makes him buckle as his resolve cracks and crumbles, the tears taking over as his knees sink to the floor. His sobs rack his body as he reaches up to clutch tightly at your shirt. You run your fingers through his hair as you try to soothe him. 

“Jake, I-” You swallow, your hand stilling in his hair. 

Here it comes. When you tell him this is too much, that you didn't sign up for this, that he should never contact you again-

You kneel to be eye-level with him, pulling his face into your hands. “Jake, I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than that. And I wish there was something more I could do for you, more for me to say. All I can say is that it’s going to get better. Things will always get better and I will be here to help you. I’ll always be here.” 

He swallows, wanting so badly to believe your words. He almost does, if he squeezes his eyes shut and forces his Dad’s words out of his brain. “I want to believe you. I don’t know how.” 

“That’s okay. I’m here, Jake. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“You can’t fix me. You can’t make me better.”

The words are blunt, cruel. You don’t flinch away or move back. 

“I don’t want to.” You move closer to him. “I just want to help you. Let me help you.” 

Without thinking, he surges forward, kissing you before he can think about the consequences of his actions. He knows in the half-second before you freeze that he’s fucked up. 

You pull away, ducking your head as your bottom lip catches between your teeth. Neither of you say anything as your chests heave with what just happened, unable to meet the other’s eyes. Your hands haven’t left his face as you swallow, finally pulling up to look at him. 

“Jake-” 

He shakes his head, pulling out of your grasp to stand again. “Don’t. Don’t. Please don’t. I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry.” 

You stand too, sighing. “Jake, please-”

“Just go.” His voice wavers, cracking, a reflection of how he feels on the inside. 

“Jake, this isn’t- Now’s not a good time-”

“Don’t make excuses. You don’t return my feelings and that fine. Just- get out, please.” His back is still turned from you as he waits for your footsteps to signal that you’re going to leave, just like everyone else. He succeeded in driving you away. 

He does hear your footsteps but they don’t leave through his front door. No, there you are, figure blurry in front of him through the tears he’s been trying to suppress. 

“Jake.” You softly, and he feels his lip tremble as he wraps his arms around himself, wanting to make himself small. “It’s not that I don’t return your feelings and I’m not saying never, but- you’re going through a lot right now. You need a friend, not a new relationship, and I’m happy to be here in whatever capacity I can be for you. You deserve the world Jake Seresin and I’ll be here no matter what.” 

Your hands reach to his face and he allows his hands to unwrap from around his body, pulling you close to him. His head falls into the crook of your neck as he takes a shaky breath. “Don’t leave.” The words are muffled against your skin. “Please.” The words are like a prayer as he grips you ever so tighter. 

“Never. Believe me Jake, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

For the first time in months, he takes what feels like his real breath, feeling like he isn’t drowning under the waves of his own mind. 

For the first time in months, he allows himself to consider that things might actually turn out okay. 

[shotorozu]

encountering a ‘pick me’ girl

character(s) : kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

warning : PICK ME GIRL, misogyny (?) pick me girl makes an off handed comment about your body but it’s not detailed at all

PART TWO — PART THREE

legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, angst if you squint

note(s) : i made 2 versions of this post so,, if you’re reading this— then i probably decided that i liked this one more than the other one i made,, anyways, i used real life examples 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

kirishima eijirou

i’d imagine that eijirou would have an idea of what a pick me girl is— i mean, there were probably 2 of those girls in middle school

but has he experienced it first hand? nahh.

though, eijirou didn’t think he’d encounter one when he was already in a healthy and committed relationship!

eijirou is practically friends with everyone— and yeah, even the most unexpected. so, he’s bound to accidentally befriend a pick me girl

him, being the nicest one out of all of the characters in this list, will still be nice to said pick me girl, despite wanting to snob them to the core

because really— you can’t really fight fire with fire in some cases

but, he can be everything but lenient when the pick me girl starts insulting you for doing certain things, and for absurd reasons too

like,, how you laugh, and how you take care of yourself (for example— if you wear makeup, or how you style your hair)

which is odd! everything about you is everything but the things the pick me girl has stated so.. he cannot stand by.

SCENARIO

the girl giggles to herself after that snide comment leaves her lip gloss coated lips. eijirou shifts uncomfortably— honestly taken aback by the anything but subtle insult that was thrown at you

“like.. seriously! it’s honestly quite superficial if you look at it like that. who the hell would put that much effort infront of your boyfriend? i’d assume they’d see everything AND everything but.. i guess not.”

you blink. superficial? now that’s a new one. the girl infront of you has been babbling insults sugarcoated in boasts the entire time, and you’re just wondering if it’s about time you guys leave but—

“well that’s unfair,” your boyfriend laughs, “i put the same amount of effort as this cutie right here,” eijirou pokes at your cheek, earning a quick laugh from you— which he can only thank the heavens for that

“but that’s different. it actually looks put together when you’re doing it, eiji.” the certain glint in her smile makes you want to wipe it right off with a dirty mop, “it’s impossible to look put together with expensive clothes, but being built like a—”

the sound of the sliding of a chair is quicker than your actions, and it easily cuts her off.

“i’m sorry, but we gotta go, it’s totally not cool of you to say those things about Y/N!”

“what? but i mean.. it’s true, right? i’m looking out for them! they’re literally out here l—”

“bye!” eijirou waves her goodbye with your hand, dismissing the sour expression on her face— as he dashes off with you

you’d question how he’s just so nice to people like that, but when he turns around, you could see the distaste in his eyes

“so that’s what a pick me girl’s like,” shaking his head, his expression lights up with such a quick manner “i’ll never make friends that are like that again!”

safe to say, eijirou’s friend list has been a a person shorter ever since that incident

bakugou katsuki

oh, so that girl’s bold bold.

if she thinks she could get away with being a not so subtle pick me girl infront of bakugou katsuki, then she couldn’t be more wrong.

it’s absolutely revolting— i mean, he hasn’t displayed any romantic feelings towards ANYONE that isn’t you.

also, they’re quite gutsy if you ask me. so congrats for having guts??

i don’t think he’d be friends with a pick me girl. he’s very selective of who he’s befriending, so it’s probably your friend that’s the pick me girl in this case

he wouldn’t know what a pick me girl would be, but he’d probably know the description of one.

over some time, he’d grow some resistance to insults directed at him, but when someone insults his s/o

oh boy. that’s not good. remember when i said that katsuki was almost like your scary and intimidating dog

this is what i mean

knows he can’t make a scene, so his first option is to be dismissive asf— but if said pick me girl literally can’t get it, he won’t be afraid of shoving some explosions into her face

because his hands are rated e for everyone

SCENARIO

“so you wanna be picked or something, is that it?” he hates how you literally have the resistance of a rock— which is something he always liked, but in this case hated. if it weren’t for you— he would’ve blasted explosions into her sorry excuse of a face until it’s beyond recognition (that wouldn’t be hero like, is what you’ve said in the past, but he disagrees.)

but seriously? ugh. he just wants to leave this horrid place, and make some dinner with you in the comfort of his home. why are you even friends with her anyway? she’s not even trying to be slick at this point.

“p-picked? i’m not understanding, katsu.”

“it’s bakugou.”

“right,” her laughter is like nails on chalkboard, “i’m just watching out for Y/N, y’know? there’s no point in wearing all of that.. on their face.” and she’s obviously referring to your obviously very well done makeup

“it’ll make your skin terrible in the long run! and really— i couldn’t really understand on why someone would wear that much, when you could survive with i dunno.. lip gloss at most?”

you would’ve actually said something as a rebuttal, but your boyfriend is quicker, and a lot more direct than anyone else in the area.

“just say you can’t do makeup and fucking scram,” katsuki’s ice cold glare finally breaks out of the act he’s been trying to hold together for you

“their makeup is fucking bomb as hell, compared to your ridiculous spider lashes, lady. come back when you’ve watched james charles’ entire fucking channel.” he harshly states in similar bakugou fashion, despite the lack of screaming.

and if you squinted hard enough, you could see tears welling up in her eyes. but katsuki tugs your hand before anything else could be said

“let’s fucking go, you need better friends.”

he makes you cut ties with all of them, and he practically scolds your terrible choice of friends— but he goes quiet when you tell him that you’ve been friends with her since middle school

“good fucking riddance. next time, i’ll punch them as soon as they say something outta line, got that?” and next time (hopefully, there won’t be a next time) you’ll actually lash out— or maybe,, you’ll let him loose for once.

todoroki shouto

now shouto might be,, socially unaware sometimes. but he can tell whenever someone’s trying to insult his s/o

like,, right away.

now— you both run into this person after a pleasant date, and she eagerly presented herself as your friend

so, her attitude catches him off guard because who’d have anything rude to say about you and towards shouto’s face? especially when it’s about something normal.

like,, wasn’t she your friend?? why is she even like this?

his hostility is very well known, so they should be scared.

he gets detached from the conversation, and he’ll immediately go cold— and shouto would probably go as far as walking away with your hand in his

doesn’t matter if he properly says goodbye or not— if a girl’s being rude to his s/o, they obviously don’t deserve his usually polite attitude. nope, that’s a luxury.

oh— and what more when they’re seeking for his validation. newsflash! said pick me girl won’t be get any from him.

SCENARIO

shouto couldn’t stop the bitterness bleeding into his mouth, when the girl in front of him continued to babble and take up the valuable time he had left with his s/o

initially, she presented herself as your friend from middle school— but as of now? she seems to be more interested in him more than you, despite knowing you first.

she’d ask him a string of obvious questions with very obvious answers, like ‘is she treating you well?’ ‘is she acting correctly?’ and questions of the sort

“oh, sorry! i’d hate to cut this conversation short, but—” you finally decide that it was about time to leave, while shouto looks pretty,, deadpanned right now, you could tell that he was gradually starting to get irritated by your friend’s words.

“wait. thats.. kind of controlling, don’t you think? do you ever let shou make decisions?”

“uh.. controlling? since when??” you question at the accusation. this girl knows nothing about your relationship dynamic, and she’s already jumping the gun and making conclusions.

your gaze snaps back to shouto, who looks just as surprised as he could possibly be.

“yeah! it clearly looks like he still wants to talk” which is an obvious lie, shouto just wants it out of here “i wonder how you managed to snag such a guy like him,” she comments with a smile that looked anything above suspicion (yet, it makes your stomach churn)

you could see the way her hand gets gradually closer to him— and frankly, you’re not sure about what she was planning to do next, “you wouldn’t need to dress all expensive and fancy, if you’re with a girl with an already classy appear—”

“i think this conversation is over,” shouto grip is firm on the wrist that was attempting to grab his shoulder, shouto makes no attempt to even look at the girl infront of him “i don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not humorous. at all.”

“what?” she stammers, drawing her hand back “i-it’s obvious they don’t know how to take a joke! this is why there are barely any good w—”

shouto’s next actions knocks her speechless, his hand rests at the small of your back, before gently guiding you forward— “love, what movie are we watching later?” he says, making an effort to press a quick, yet intense kiss on your lips

“oh,” you breathe out, surprised by this action. “don’t be so tense, love.” shouto comments on how tense your shoulders have looked, ever since she started running her mouth, “now.. what movie do you want to watch tonight? comedy? thriller?”

“you pick,” you laugh at the quick shift of topic. and when you look behind you, you could see shame and defeat welling up on her face. shouto finally feels like he could smile again, the bitterness dissipating from his mouth

after shouto questions you if that was what a pick me girl was, he makes sure that you guys won’t ever encounter such thing again

“you.. don’t have more friends like that, right? if you do— we could always do another friend list cleansing.” this statement makes you laugh but shouto is anything but joking

but being reminded of his reaction to that ‘pick me’ girl does puts a smile on your face.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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