#and you think you have good data????? to draw conclusions from??????

[gooboogy]

tempted to go to grad school just so i can more effectively tell researchers how fuckin stupid they are

[bethanythebogwitch]

I listened to reading of some askreddit threads (don't judge me, it's a guilty pleasure) about doctors and healthcare and I notices some major division on topics when the answers were from the doctor's POV and patients' POV. I'm of course not qualified to draw conclusions from this, nor is Reddit a good place to get data, but here are some recurring points I found where the doctor and patient position appeared to be different.

Doctor POV: we can always tell when people are faking pain for opioids. It's extremely obvious.

Patient POV: multiple doctors accused me of drug seeking when I was actually in agony from stones, appendicitis, endometriosis, a tumor, etc.

Doctor POV: people who try to diagnose themselves are really annoying and counter productive.

Patient POV: I only figured out what was wrong with me by searching the internet after multiple doctors dismissed or failed to diagnose me. Alternatively: I went in with a good idea of what was wrong based on past experiences/family history/ etc and the doctors didn't take me seriously. Some would even refuse to do tests to check if the self-diagnosis was correct.

Doctor POV: the phrase "I know my body" is usually used by people who don't know what they're talking about. We are the ones who know medicine so we can tell if you're sick or not.

Patient POV: I knew something was wrong with me because I know my body and know when something isn't normal. The doctors wouldn't take me seriously and told me nothing was wrong after only doing basic tests.

Again, Reddit is not a good place to get data as the nature of the website encourages people posting more sensational stories and exaggerating or fabricating stories to get upvotes. In addition, most of these stories are likely far from the average doctor and patient experience. However, it appears that there may (emphasis, may) be a disconnect between doctors and patients that involves doctors not taking patients seriously and thinking they know better than patients about their own bodies. It seems like defaulting to thinking patients exaggerate pain to seek drugs and that patients don't have any way of understanding their own health is really detrimental.

Do not take this post as me saying you shouldn't go to the doctor. If you need medical help, go to the doctor. The medical system isn't perfect, but it's the best we have. And go to an actual doctor, not a naturopath, homeopath, or other quack.

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

I’m by no means any sort of expert on any animal’s behavior so please feel free to ignore this random observation/ opinion.

But something I find interesting about people defending Moo Deng’s treatment is the frequent assertion that her keepers love her, as if that excuses everything. I honestly don’t doubt that her keepers love her, but that doesn’t mean their actions are appropriate.

To me it’s reminiscent of someone cornering and petting a dog against it’s will because “I just LOVE dogs!!!”. Loving the animal doesn’t mean you can’t inadvertently harm them with your actions.

Idk, I just have a lot of feelings on this and this was my attempt to sum them up. Hope it makes some sort of sense 😅

Oh yeah tell me about it! I appreciate you sharing this because I feel like I'm going insane when I see people being given the same information as I have and drawing a totally different conclusion from it.

Like... it's not okay just because they harass her a little bit. That's... not how that works.

Also I find the "trust the keeper" argument super ironic coming from someone who worked with dolphins - the species in human care that EVERYONE has an opinion on. And you'll tell people "hey, trust me on this. I see these dolphins every day. They participate in their own health care and don't do something if they don't want to. They are objectively in good welfare based on all the current data we have of what that looks like. I do behaviour records every day to prove this. And if I didn't think they were doing well, I'd be fighting tooth and nail to improve their lives or I would leave my job." (which I have done, btw)

And I'll still be told I'm enslaving dolphins and I do it for the money (when it was free labour - yay for animal industry exploitation - or absolutely bugger all). Trust the keeper... unless I watch a biased documentary packed full of misinformation. Then I know *more* than the keeper will and the keeper is just a moron who doesn't need a science degree and years of unpaid internship experience for this job!

But if it's a cute animal that has no preconceptions established of their welfare in human care? It's free game to coo over. Sure the keeper just dropped that squirming, panicking baby hippo he was trying to force into a tub! But he has so much experience because someone on reddit said so! It's actually all just desentisation! (not how desensisation works ever)

Can you tell I'm frustrated? Yeah...

Anyway I am usually the first in line to defend a zoo and their keepers - I know it's not easy to work in a zoo that's underresourced or in an education vaccum. But I'm going to call out bad handling when I see it. Especially when it's reinforced by social media clout and is being encouraged to continue by people justifying it as "desenitisation" or "actions of an experienced keeper."

[notbecauseofvictories]

It's interesting, because at my last job my boss was good---very good---about creating and fostering relationships. At the time I was horrified, because why are you texting our general counsel? Why are you calling someone up and asking them to opine on something that's just showed up on your radar?? This is business, we need to do business-y things in a business way!!!

It took me a long time to recognize what this approach bought him. He was terrible at data entry, yes. I don't think he once ever approved my vacation time, just said "sure, put your out of office message on." (He hated approving vacation time, so he just....didn't.) But he was looped in, hooked in, always consulted. Everyone picked up his calls, because if he was calling it wasn't going to be a haranguing, he wanted to work with you to achieve both your goals, and honestly? you could call him out of the blue too. It worked both ways. He was crystal clear when things were handed down from the top (usually because we'd get a beer and he'd complain about it) and when requests were coming from him/our team. And he was always, always very clear that we were his people, and it was Us against The Company; he was consistently, unequivocally and completely on our side.

(........this did not stop The Company from pulling its shenanigans, but it always felt like he was siding with Us when it did.)

I know this, because now I'm in an organization where my boss isn't on our side, where things aren't explained---even when explanations would make the boss' requests more reasonable. I'm aware of other situations too, where members of the team have been what seems like deliberately insulted or attacked by our boss, which is frankly unnecessary.

I don't have a conclusion to draw from all of this, and god knows that bad bosses are ten a penny, each terrible in their own way. Still, I do think about it more and more, particularly as I stare down 1 year with the company.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Pits aren't evil, but it's disingenuous to ignore how prevalent they are in dog bite and fatal attack statistics (both on humans and animals). These dogs were bred for bloodsport, and more specifically they were bred to not send out warnings before attacking, that's not going to magically go away just because you're good with dogs or because an individual pit is friendly. If that were the case, the majority of dog attacks wouldn't consist of pitbulls, pit mixes, or other trouble breeds like rottweilers.

Even if the dogs were 100% safe the weird culture surrounding them would continue to be a problem. Why does one individual dog breed need such a zealous defensive squad? Why do attack survivors have to tread on eggshells to avoid offending owners of the dog breed that attacked them? Why do so many people pin the blame on the human or animal victim of an attack when these dog breeds are designed to snap without warning? Why is "bully bashing" so reprehensible, but shit like "chihuahuas are hellspawns" and "cats are so mean" acceptable?

Alright, I suppose we can dissect this.

Claim: Pit bulls are more prevalent than any other breed in dog bites and dog bite fatalities

Fact: this claim is only relaying bite incidents regarding pit bulls and “pit bull type dogs” in the US. Why does that matter? Well these surveys self-admittedly were inaccurate, and no conclusion could be drawn from them, simply because they were relying on the public to accurately identify the breed of dog that bit them and it didn’t account for cases that were not reported or the dog could not be identified as one breed or another. These surveys also did not account for prevalence of one breed over another in the country. Why does that part matter?

Well you could factually say that most smokers in the UK are white. If you then say white people in the UK are significantly more prone to nicotine addiction, that’s a very false conclusion to draw if you don’t account for the fact over 85% of people in the UK are white. This is the same level of false conclusion being drawn from those dog bite surveys because, as I have said before, there are a lot of pit bulls in America. But besides that, they are a very common breed in low income areas. Dog bites are more likely to be reported in a low income area because if a rich person’s dog bites someone, they tend to pay off the victim to avoid the dog being labeled as an aggressive dog and taken away or put down for being too dangerous. Low income families obviously can’t do that. Low income areas will also commonly have lower/less sturdy fencing and other limitations that can lead to a dog escaping the owner’s property. A lot of the bites reported also involved dogs where an owner could not be located, which means strays. A large stray dog of any breed is absolutely dangerous. If I see a stray malinois or something I’m not going to be thinking “ah well thank goodness it isn’t a pit bull” because I don’t particularly want to be bitten by a malinois either.

Bottom line though, the CDC stopped collecting data on what specific breeds were “more dangerous” because there was too much statistical error in the nature of collecting the data for any meaningful conclusion to be drawn.

Claim: pit bulls were bred to attack opponents with no warning which means they can and will attack at any time

Fact: this is another example of a false conclusion.

For one thing, I couldn’t find any non-biased sources claiming that pit bulls specifically were bred to attack without warning, but even if we say that’s true for sake of argument, attacking an opponent dog in a fight without telegraphing their attack doesn’t mean “this dog does not engage in any body language” thus making them unreadable or whatever. They wag their tails when happy, whine when they want something, and yes! They do in fact curl their lip and growl when they want you to stop doing something. They bark at noises or scents they don’t trust, and they bow and roll when they want to play.

They’re dogs. Therefore, they share a lot of the same body language cues as any other breed will give you.

Claim: pit bulls were bred as fighting dogs so they’re bred for aggression.

Fact: dogs classify other dogs and humans in very different categories of their mind in much the same way they classify a rabbit and a cat and a cow in different categories of their mind. A dog that’s extremely reactive to other dogs may not be reactive towards humans at all.

No modern breed was bred for blanket aggressive behavior because that would make them impossible to keep in captivity at all because the second someone went to feed them they’d lose a hand and the second you tried to get two extremely aggressive animals to breed they’d kill each other on sight. Pits were bred primarily to be reactive to unfamiliar dogs and for physical strength. They were not bred to be reactive to humans, and attack dogs are typically abused in some way to make them reactive to humans in the same way they’re reactive to dogs, or at minimum rewarded for reacting excessively to an unknown human to encourage more extreme reactivity.

So why does one breed need so much defense?

Because pits and other “”trouble breeds”” cause your insurance rates to go up significantly if your insurance provider finds out you own one. Because you can live in an apartment for years and get an ultimatum to be evicted or get rid of your dog despite it never showing any signs of being dangerous. Because there are people who will see a bully dog in the street and hit the gas.

It’s not about them being “more important” than cats or micro dogs, no one is saying that. No one has ever been saying that, but a pit bull gets all the hate and aggression and vitriol people throw at black cats but with legal backing on top of that. People defend the breed because there is a culture of “the only good pit bull is a dead one” and actually act on it. Yes, people insult and mock chihuahuas and that’s very rude and all, but how many places have breed bans against them?

Why do people blame the human over the animal?

Well because any dog will bite “without warning” if it’s raised to think failure to do so will cause it pain and any dog that’s never seen a human other than the ones in its house has the potential to be reactive to outside stimuli. And if you run up to a random dog and try to pet it, it’s not the dog’s fault you got bit it was your fault for just assuming you can touch any random animal and not get bitten/scratched/etc.

Do I blame children for not knowing better or victims that were charged by a loose dog? No. Is that what most bite cases are? Also no.

But hey it’s also weird to frame it as “either the dog is at fault or the victim is at fault and you’re blaming one” as like a blanket statement. Because no. That’s not what’s being said or claimed. Some bites are the fault of how the dog was raised, some are the fault of the person who was bitten, and some are a mix of both or just poor circumstances and the worst of happenstances.

Treating it as a breed specific thing rather than a “people need better education on raising and behaving around animals” thing isn’t going to make less bites happen fwiw.

[fungalittleweirdo]

ROTTMNT 60s AU !!!

UHHHH JUST WANTED TO PUT THIS OUT THERE WHILE I'M STUCK IN DENIAL ABOUT MY WRITER'S BLOCK

raph

please this man has SOUL

he sings in clubs in new york, he has a record coming out in '67 with his band Raphael and The Digg

his brothers didn't feel like joining the band, so it's up to some talented musician girls he met without a trained main vocalist (digg, with prairie dog, honey badger, and groundhog)

they're super popular in harlem and they make it to charts

raph meets other motown records signees and they always find he's the gentlest of giants

he and his band DESERVES a grammy

leo

he's a surfer !!!

he loves competing in surfing tournaments in long island

the boy's a legend, other surfers think he's a fish at first

if he didn't have separation anxiety for his brothers (a post-kraang headcanon) he would have gone to the west coast where the real competitions are (they never feel like leaving new york for very long)

for now he's happy surfing the coast of long island

he loves when todd surfs with him, his favourite part is the lemonade he gets afterwards

donnie

donatello is OBSESSED with the space race

he managed to hack nasa for rocket blueprints

he got caught and they asked him if he was a communist but there was no found evidence that proved he was so he was let go and his name was cleared

he managed to improve the blueprints he got his hands on and built more efficient rockets, then he used computing tech to make his very own battleshell

he has a super-powered telescope he nicknamed shelldon

donnie predicted the states would win the space race in 1965 because it had something to do with the war, i myself don't know how he used that data point to draw a conclusion

mikey

mikey is such a hippie he has mugshots of his charming smiling face framed to prove it

very anti-war, very pro-civil rights movement, pro-dope and lowkey anti-united states government

he was at the stonewall riots !!!!!

he not only fought for human civil rights, but for mutants too, so that he and his brothers could be acknowledged as citizens

humans turned into mutants are already citizens, but the mistreatment they get is unfair and mikey chose to be a leading pioneer for mutant rights

leo (hesitantly) opened portals for mikey in the south so that he could stand with people of colour in their trying times

misc notes !!

lou jitsu was popular in golden age hollywood, he won many accolades for his films until big mama made it look like he was signed to stay in the battle nexus

jupiter jim films are actually westerns, his name is junebug jim instead

big mama is a big mafia boss woman regardless of the era she's in, though her battle nexus is televised for all ages

instead of becoming criminals, mutants follow mikey's lead protesting for mutant/yokai rights and new york is the first city to acknowledge it

the turtles' beach parties are insane, there's always some people other than the siblings lingering around at midnight

april is the best reporter out there, she reports on the turtles' exploits all the time and she makes mad BANK over it (successful 60s black woman slay)

the foot clan is a cult a lot like the manson family, the turtles hate their guts

baron draxum does the same thing he always did, brood in his lab trying to destroy the humans (that is until mikey gets through to him)

sr. hueso's run of the mill pizza is still the turtles' favourite pizza spot, though the establishment is beachside because he's on good terms with his brother, who mainly does imports

casey jr. is a star hockey player, he also avoids the draft because he's from the future, so the government doesn't have his records

but cass protests against the war with mikey whenever she can, she's also anti-war

donnie also managed to be the first mutant on the moon by his own means, it's been a childhood dream since he saw laika's launch in sputnik 2

aight that's all i have for now, i hope you enjoyed !!

[charles-leclerc-official]

2 questions occurred to me while reading your monza analysis:

1. In your opinion, is there enough data to draw conclusions/hopes about the performance in the remaining races? Or is monza an odd one out type of track and we can't really predict how the car will do in any of the others?

2. You highlighted mclaren's failure to anticipate Ferrari's strategy on more than one occasion this season. Do you think that they are likely to finally take a lesson from this and be more prepared in the future? Or is the fact that their machinery/lack of drivers' skill is another factor here will be enough to allow Ferrari to keep capitalising on the few strengths of sf-24?

It was a great read by the way, thank you for taking the time to share it!

I think that Baku and the remaining races are looking good for us. Baku and Singapore should be suited for our car and drivers so I am expecting competitive results. I think that as far as Ferrari VS Mclaren goes this is going to get tight. The fact the car is on the right track again and the performance at Monza really showed a lot of promise as well as bringing home the results. I am predicting at least one more Ferrari win this season. In short this wasn't a one-off and I think this brought Ferrari back toward the front for the remainder of the season (assuming the success of future upgrades)

Not really. They have been saying all year that they will learn from their strategic mistakes and they are still making the same ones and came up with new mistakes on top of that. At this point Mclaren have given me no reason to believe they will change anything in the final 8 races. We could all be shocked and they magically get their act together, but I highly doubt that will be the case. In some cases strategy can't get you around issues when the other team's car and driver is just better that weekend.

As far as Baku this weekend. It's one of Charles' best tracks. It's also suited to the Ferrari as it stands. On top of that it isn't a stand out strong track for either Lando or Oscar. With the field being so close that will make the difference. This race however will likely be determined in qualifying, as similar to Monaco it's difficult to overtake. The differences between the cars is getting narrow so the quali performance will come down to nailing the car setup for the track, and skill over the single lap.

[wolftheidioticfan]

If you'd like to, could you share with us Amie and/or Ori's thoughts on each of The Emailers? I imagine they have been Data Collecting pretty much instinctively on everybody, though I get the feeling the conclusions they draw from that data, or the data they prioritize/notice more differs quite a bit between them.

Absolutely sure. They both have seen every email sent by everyone since they both have access to modify things. (Amie LOVES to talk in tags when redirecting mails. Ori might have liked to do that long ago, but he doesn't really seek people out anymore)

Lobby - Amie LOVES Lobby. really looks at how they act very very closely. It's why he got upset when everyone wanted to mail ashley because LOBBY didn't want to. Also why he temporarily worried about if bringing Parry in was right. Lobby was the first one to agree to help him!

Ori is curious. That kind of kindness and optimism is often met with manipulation or underlying issues. He's not sure he believes they are Truly kind to this degree. Are they plotting? Are they truly kind? Do they want something? Is it fear?

Parry - AMIE LOVES PARRY! BEST FRIEND. First one to call him that! Gave him so much hope! People are good! People can be good. He'll do anything for them. He looks to them the MOST for his morals. Parry could tell him anything and it would automatically override what anyone else says.

Ori is so...so confused. There is a fearful kindness he wants to pick apart. What makes a human so afraid. What is this history. Who are you. What are you. WHY are you. Where is this blind trust in him? Haven't you been hurt so many times? Didn't you hear me when I said I did not regret a thing? I am Incapable of remorse. And yet....

Mushroom - FAMILY?! Amie thinks about that all the time. Someone who distrusted him, disregarded his intentions...and then turned to give him a new chance. To then call him family. Is this what it means to earn love? To understand eachother?

Ori has...not many thoughts on Mushroom yet. They are a curious thing to him, like all people are. The turn they did about Amie is interesting. People's opinions change so quickly, don't they...

Snail - Amie gets excited when seeing Snail. Second best friend! Silly snail! Parry's friend, his friend! Protect them at all costs. They are silly. would love to play games with them. Ori noted how much Snail likes Bo. People can care about a digital creature to this extent? How odd.

Scar - Amie is....kind but tentatively nervous FOR them, not of them. You're digital? You glitch and hurt like me? How do we fix this, friend? For their sake more than his own. He's okay with who he is and how he's built. But is that okay for a human being? Is that normal? Where are you? How do I reach you?

...Ori is not blind to the parallels. Ori is...bitter that it seems things had been so much better than how it had been with him and Sonny. He kind of...isn't sure if he would talk to Scar in a more friendly way than his cordial tone.

Sea Angel- Amie unfortunately...is starting to be more on edge about Sea Angel. They're very in your face, very pushing into their comments and views even when in Amie's eyes, it might hurt more. Like when he rejected one of their emails because he thought it would upset Parry more. Or when he told them to stay in their line (Protecting a threat from death? NOT GOOD. to him) You talk too much friend. He respects a lot of their words, but when it comes to Parry specifically? Oh he's ruffling and hissing at them. Ori is indifferent. to an extent. There's a lot of wise words in that mind. But said at times when it could be taken so wrong.

OUGH these are the main off the top of my head im prolly missing some1 lmk

[trans-koupen-chan]

listen. listen. I need everyone who sees this post to know that the Swedish study that partially looked at crime rates among cis vs. trans people is being WILDLY misinterpreted and used with absolutely zero critical thinking to paint transgender woman as a violent “other.”

the study’s own author has come out and said “The individual […] who is making claims about trans criminality, specifically rape likelihood, is misrepresenting the study findings.”

having looked at both the study and the author’s comments myself, the only similarity between cis men and trans women is the conviction rate by population size, and this similarity is only seen when looking at trans women who had sex reassignment surgery before 1989, when fewer opportunities and resources were available to trans people in Sweden. The study also did not control for socio-economic status which is commonly understood as a MAJOR contributing factor in criminality.

Here’s another quote from the study’s author;

“The difference we observed between the 1989 to 2003 cohort and the control [1973 to 1988] group is that the trans cohort group accessed more mental health care, which is appropriate given the level of ongoing discrimination the group faces. What the data tells us is things are getting measurably better and the issues we found affecting the 1973 to 1988 cohort group likely reflects a time when trans health and physiological care was less effective and social stigma was far worse.”

I will not deny that trans people, both trans women and trans men, sometimes commit or are convicted of crimes. That would be unfactual of me. But I feel as though it’s basic common sense that being convicted of a crime does not automatically make someone a bad or violent or dangerous person — for example, shoplifting food that you otherwise couldn’t afford, or the case of trans woman Tara Wolf, where the judge themself admitted that Wolf was provoked but convicted her of assault anyways. It’s also worth noting that the woman who Wolf had an altercation with approached Wolf and others attempting to film them without consent and admitted to grabbing and kicking Wolf’s partner, highlighting again that there are many cases where a conviction is not a cut-and-dry good/evil situation.

If you believe that the results of this study — or that any one isolated incident — prove that trans women are inherently more violent and criminal than cis woman, I am here to tell you that is incorrect. Even if this paper that looks as though it proves this, which it does not in the eyes of its own author, that would still be insufficient evidence to draw such a broad and sweeping conclusion about an entire demographic group.

Painting any demographic as inherently dangerous and violent is an “othering” tactic that has been used against stigmatized groups and minorities (including radical feminists!) for centuries now. It is not progressive, even if you cite papers and statistics to “prove” it. If you’ve made it this far in the post maybe you should reconsider your stance on this.

(obligatory inclusion: if you believe trans woman are men and trans men are women that is bioessentialist and also not progressive. just to round off the post and make sure we’re clear. limiting people’s choices and basing the way they are treated by society on a few body parts they are born with is inherently antifeminist. no I will not argue about this point.)

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

hater moment alert

Cannot stand the girl autism is more acceptable than boy autism bc masking take….i can abide by shitty takes on fictional shit but i cannot let shallow analysis of real issues slide. What the hell is boy autism and girl autism!!! The neat splitting of the complex process of socialization, the ways healthcare works as a system of control that often disregards symptoms of women, the complex way ppl punish the ways ppl diverge from gender roles esp for women, and how diverse of a disease autism is. I know this is a complicated discussion in healthcare bc how we view behaviors differently w gender but dare I say a big reason women (just like poc in america) are underdiagnosed is medical neglect LMAO.

This is like an actual pet peeve of mine. Theres so many stupid long held medical myths in the field like the symptoms of heart attacks are different for women vs men w no statistical bearing or were borne out of statistical malpractice (nuanced topic im not gonna fully get into abt how health data is analyzed). We (i hope) are moving away from this stupid biological determinism ohhh diseases present differently in different genders/races/whatevers bc of (biological differences/genetics/epigenetics and ooo this doesnt have anything to do w the long standing beliefs eugenics still has on how we view health ooooo bc eugenics was #cancelled and theres no troubling inheritances from it ) and acknowledging the reason why mortality differences exist are overwhelmingly bc of health inequities. I know behavioral issues are different. But they are often medicalized similarly and demographics are often homogenized when within groups ppls experiences are incredibly diverse. Anyways.

edit: this is not a dont trust the medical system go to a naturopath instead thing. Naturopaths are scammers. I generally think its a good thing medicine has moved to having evidence behind it, but our ways of collecting and executing it can be deeply flawed.

edit: its in bad form to make medical claims without sources and i dont aim to spread medical disinformation. Here are mine and you can draw your own conclusions:

the most commonly cited study on difference on presentation based on gender for heart attacks is the framingham heart study. A more recent cohort is the GRACE (the global reg of acute coronary events). U may look at these stats and go hey some of these proportions in initial disease presentation do look different between the sexes and even is statistically significant. Which is true. But it must be noted that atypical symptoms are common in both men and women (1/4 roughly vs 1/3) which means when assessing for a heart attack, you should be checking for atypical symptoms in both men and women because it occurs often. I dont believe these ratios are clinically actionable, tho some ppl disagree. Now the fact women get advanced heart treatments, get put on standard medications less often than men etc, I think thats much more actionable.

There is also something to be said abt what statistics measure. Which in population studies is: are the prevalence or outcomes of the disease different between these two populations? Which if you theoretically rounded up every man and every women in the US that has had a heart attack (which the populations in these studies are a proxy for) the answer would be: yes. But also if you rounded up everyone in the state of Minnesota vs everyone in the state of Montana, you would also have differences between manifestation of disease in these two states. The question is how large and why—the why is a question stats have a harder time elucidating.

Another question is what is the utility of dividing the groups to compare each other when there are infinite ways you could split groups up. You probably would not argue that there are inherent biological differences between people who live in Minnesota and people who live in Montana, but if you found enough difference, perhaps you could make an argument that there may be a difference in health infrastructure or policy thats driving that gap. But then youd have to further investigate. There is no approach in statistics where you can avoid the responsibility of interpretation. Now how does that get into how sex and or gender is traditionally interpreted in health studies. Well stay tuned to if i still feel like talking abt this. Bc this is complicated.

[burnwater13]

Ashoka Tano speaking to Grogu and Din Djarin in the woods of Corvus. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 5, The Jedi. Calendar from DataWorks. Caption reads: I've only known one other being like this - a wise Jedi Master named Yoda. - Ahsoka Tano.

Hey folks. I'm taking some time off from our routine, daily stories and just re-running some stories from 2023. Hope you enjoy them. I'll be back with fresh content soon.

This story first ran November 1, 2023. Titled 'What Kind am I?'

Grogu thought a lot about what his dad said that day on Tatooine. “If I can locate another of my kind…”. That turned out to be pretty easy. When Mandalorians weren’t hiding they stuck out like sore thumbs. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was did anyone know what ‘kind’ Grogu was?

Ahsoka Tano had said she knew Master Yoda, but then so did Grogu. He wasn’t locked away in some closet at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. He was there with the rest of the younglings and Master Yoda visited them all from time to time. But that didn’t mean he knew what ‘kind’ they were. 

Lot of different kinds of people were at the Jedi Temple. Lots of different kinds of people became Jedi. But of Grogu’s kind there were only three of them. Master Yoda, Master Yaddle, and Grogu. Grogu didn’t have any illusion that he was their child either. That was sweet and romantic and convenient. Nope. Not their kid. 

And even if he had been their child, what kind of parents were they? They weren’t raising him. They didn’t teach him songs to learn his numbers, or tell him stories about their home world, or even pat him on the head when he’d done something particularly clever. He much preferred to think of them both as people he had met and could not un-meet. 

Now, here he was on Nevarro, with his dad, Din Djarin, Mandalorian Bounty Hunter and all around good guy. They watched out for each other. They told each other funny stories. They ate the same food (sometimes) and they both burped in the same distinctive manner. They even had the same eye color. 

Grogu was Din Djarin’s apprentice and was going to learn how to fly a starship and be a Mandalorian Bounty Hunter. That seemed really cool and so far it had been pretty exciting. But considering everything that had happened with the Clan Mudhorn Festival and the fact that Luke Skywalker had come all the way across the galaxy to help him when he really needed the help, Grogu felt a tiny bit of the old Jedi spirit tugging back at him. Were they actually his kind?

He wasn’t sure who he should talk to about this sort of stuff. Grogu didn’t want to talk to his dad. That would just make the Mandalorian sad and think that Grogu didn’t love him and that was beyond wrong and there was no way he was going to hurt his dad like that. Nope. 

But then, Luke wasn’t the right person to talk to either. Luke had a vested interest in Grogu returning to Jedi Sleep Away Camp and Grogu was well aware of that. He should probably just start training his nephew and see how things went. Grogu knew too much to be a student and too little to be a master and most importantly, he knew that.

He supposed that he could talk to the High Magistrate, but Greef Karga was still too excited over how the Clan Mudhorn Festival had worked out in Nevarro City and was already planning one for next year. Sure the name would change a little, but then it wasn’t going to just be something Clan Mudhorn put together for everyone to enjoy. ‘The Nevarro City Council of Civic Engagement Proudly Presents an Evening of Story Telling, Culture, and Friendship’ is what Grogu heard the High Magistrate tell Fennec, once the prior night’s event was all wrapped up.

Maybe he should talk to Fennec. She had done a lot of different things and had dealt with some real setbacks and knew exactly how to analyze a situation. She collected data, drew conclusions, took action and made it all look so easy. The only draw back to speaking with Fennec was that she might think he’s not as cute and competent as she told other people he was. ‘Listen to the kid, he’s got a good feel for that’, ‘Grogu knows what he’s doing, pay attention people’, and ‘Don’t tell your dad, you’ll be fine, you always are’. He really didn’t want to risk that happening. 

Grogu sighed deeply.

“Hey! Ya little womp rat… oh, sorry, you don’t like being called a womp rat any more, you’re growin’ up so fast! Would you like Auntie Peli to get ya some nice dung worms? You need to keep up your energy if you’re goin’ to go all dark side on us.” 

Peli Motto scooped him up, tweaked his nose gently and carried him over to the campfire that his dad set up outside the cabin. They had all been having a quiet day together, chatting and playing games, like chase the frog, find the target, and hide from the Jedi. 

“Ya know, you need to get some rest, just relax, and maybe, just maybe, watch the clouds float by. Look at me! First time off Tatooine ever and here I am with my best friends doin’ nothing but havin’ fun. This is my kind of life… I just hope Treadwell doesn’t sell the garage while I’m gone.”

HA! There it was! This was Grogu’s ‘kind’ too. Kind of life that is. Surrounded by friends, just having fun and eating a big bowl of slow roasted dung worms. What could be better than that?

[bohdank]

> Users aren’t stupid, but we are all human. Revealed preference is often the complete opposite of the stated preference, and we have the data that shows that. Our goal is to optimize the experience not kill features because “tumblr staff just wants so”.

I absolutely agree that data, research, user interviews, a/b tests, all that stuff is a far better source of information that "posts about tumblr." But the thing about data is that it's also very easy to draw incorrect or misguided conclusions from it. It's pretty well known that if you're good enough with statistics you can bend data to say nearly anything you want it to.

I don't think tumblr is doing this -- y'all want the site to succeed and deliberately misinterpreting your own stats would be beyond stupid -- but you absolutely may be doing this by accident. And the stakes here are Really High. The set of numbers you choose to pursue will drastically change the way you plan and impliment changes.

And internally, it's very easy for a conversation about statistics to become something of an echo chamber. I really really wish that y'all would actually share the reasoning and justification for the feature changes that you make *and listened to user feedback while open the the possibility that you aren't perfect.* I know that's a lot of work but I think the benefits in goodwill and trust that you reap from working with that level of transparency would be highly worthwhile.

I feel very strongly about this because I've recently come from a site that has effectively fallen apart due to the company chasing the wrong numbers -- I won't go into it because it's all over my blog but I really hope I don't have to watch it happen again. :(

First off, I appreciate the nuance you’ve brought to the conversation. Data is indeed a powerful tool but, as you pointed out, it’s also a tricky beast that can easily lead one astray if not handled with the right level of caution and diligence.

The risk of falling into an echo chamber is real, and there’s something to be said about the danger of falling in love with our own ideas to the point where we ignore contrary indicators.

But I want to reassure you and the rest of our community — we’re not just blindly chasing after numbers. To be frank, I don't know why people think we are just looking at numbers and not talking to real humans. We indeed strive to make data-informed decisions, not data-driven ones. It’s a subtle distinction, but an important one. It means we take into account qualitative feedback, anecdotal evidence, and even gut instincts in addition to the quantitative data.

We regularly run user interview sessions and use other qualitative research instruments to inform our product decisions. To say more, we want to involve our community in the decision-making process as much as possible, not just as passive recipients of the changes we implement but as active contributors.

That being said, it’s a tough balancing act. We’re constantly trying to find the sweet spot between sharing enough to make people feel included and informed, and sharing too much that it becomes overwhelming or confusing. But rest assured, every piece of feedback is invaluable in helping us strike that balance.

[scumtrout]

I dislike it when I do a little inventory of my core beliefs and conclude, 'HMMM a lot of these seem like mental illness, I should probably try therapy again,' but one of the core beliefs is, 'If I see a therapist, they're just going to be like, "Pwease just do this CBT workbook uwu"' and I cannot be bothered with that.

One thing I've noticed with core beliefs though is that they rarely pop up out of nowhere, and I can usually point to specific memories that I can use to explain these beliefs. I can then interrogate it a bit by asking, 'Did I draw the correct conclusion from this memory?' or 'Am I giving this memory too much weight?', but you still have to wrestle with your Big Dumb Instinctive Emotional Reactions to such memories, especially as some of those emotional reactions would be pretty reasonable under the circumstances and your brain lends a lot of weight to painful experiences for obvious reasons.

To some extent a brain is just a squishy prediction machine, and like all prediction machines, it's just going off historical data, which then makes it prone to perpetuating what it already knows about (if historical data says that X happened, you will keep acting as if X will happen) and it's also terrible at predicting events which aren't well-represented in the historical data (see: the absolute nightmare of finding healthy relationships if you don't have a good model for what a healthy relationship would involve). I think this is actually where stories are useful (as in, narratives found in fiction and non-fiction): you can take other people's experiences and 'models' and potentially incorporate them into your own, although this is very much a 'better than nothing' approach since stories have a lot of limitations, and we're stymied by the fact that we're regularly bombarded with stories of bad shit happening to other people.

[languajix]

My original plan for Hold Every Memory was not quite as fluffy; the kids couldn't follow Don into the astral plane, and had to take the whole 'extradimensional uncles their turtle dad talks to in his head' thing on faith.

Here's a scene I'd written and discarded a long time ago which would have been the opening scene to the original story about the kids and their antics, if I'd kept going that route. Note that they call Don 'Tad' here, which is a portmanteau of 'turtle' and 'dad', and Don's been consistently calling them by El/Dee/Lee/Angelo so that's how they think of themselves. Anyways:

A beam of bright light flared to life in the pitch-black room. It wavered for a moment before moving to illuminate a small face from beneath, looking appropriately grotesque cast by such gnarled shadows. "I must tell you the dark secrets I've learned, brothers."

El and Angelo shivered together. Lee, curled up next to them with his head in his palm, looked downright bored.

The flashlight beam turned to illuminate a chart up on the wall. It was covered in arrows and hastily scribbled lists. Dates. Question marks.

"It all began the night of February twenty-second, when dear Ellie woke up from a deep sleep to witness a figure leaning over his bed! Frozen with fear, he could do naught but watch as the figure slipped something from underneath his pillow, returning only a second later to instead deposit something in its place.

"When he woke in the morning, he discovered that his tooth had indeed been exchanged for a quarter, as the legends had foretold. But! When he came into my room that next morning, his story was not one of 'Tinkerbell' or 'Fairy Godmother'. Say it once for the group, Ellie: Who did you see that night?"

The flashlight swung around until it was shoved up under El's chin like a microphone, shining directly into his eyes. El blinked rapidly. "Uh... it was Tad."

"Tad! Scoff! Last I checked, Tad did not have fairy wings. Tad did not fly with fairy dust."

"I could- I could draw him with wings. I could make a Tad-fairy," Angie murmured, drumming his little fingers on El's arm.

"Ellie was convinced that the so-called 'tooth fairy' must take on the form of one's most beloved authority figures, possibly as a way to slip in and out of houses undetected. I, however, was not so convinced! For nearly a year since, I've been observing and recording every instance wherein a beloved children's fantasy figure purportedly arrives in the sewers to give good little turtles 'gifts' or otherwise provide an enriching experience. After collecting the data, I have come to one conclusion:

"There is no 'tooth fairy!'" Everyone gasped, except Lee who sighed and rolled his eyes. "In fact, there is no 'Easter bunny,' no 'Santa Claus,' and no 'Uncles'. All of them are fictitious figures, meant to pacify and misdirect us!"

Dee began pointing around the room at each of his brothers in turn.

"Those skateboards from Santa? Bought by Papa on an excursion he claimed was for 'fur care products'! That paint set from Uncle Mike? Father purchased it on his way to or from his weekly errands on November Sixteenth. The stickers you have on your helmet that came in those easter eggs? Both Father and Papa spent over two hours silently placing plastic eggs around the Lair when they believed us all to be asleep, the night of our big Lou Jitsu marathon extravaganza!

I have collected a list of other figures I highly suspect to be fictional, although confirming it may prove more difficult. The Queen of England, Gritty, and Lady Gaga currently top said list."

Dee flicked the flashlight off and the overhead light back on, casting stars across everyone's vision.

"You may applaud now."

El clapped twice. Angie sniffled, looking like his entire world had just burned down around his ears.

Lee waved a hand. "Good job or whatever. Very smart. Much science."

Dee rolled his eyes, placing the flashlight down on the bed next to him and folding his arms in front of his chest. "You're just salty that I cracked the case."

"Ha! As if. If you had asked me half a year ago, I could have told you all of this stuff, and in like two sentences, too."

"You can't possibly be suggesting that you knew all of this before I did."

"Uh, yeah? I just asked."

Dee stared off into space for a moment. "...you just asked."

"Yep! And Tad was like, 'you're right, but they're a standard part of the American child experience, blah blah blah we were gonna tell you guys when you were all ready...'"

"I can't believe I spent literal days graphing everyone's schedules down to the minute, placing secret cameras, hacking our bank details, building tracking devices-"

El bristled. "What? Dee!"

"...but the Uncles are real. Supposedly." Lee shrugged and looked away.

...

Dee frowned. "Leon, the only person who ever 'sees' them is Father, who claims that they visit inside his head from some other dimension! Occam's razor states that the explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is usually the correct one - wouldn't a simple 'it's all in his imagination' be applicable here?"

"I'm not saying I think they're real. I'm saying that Tad said to me that they're real."

"Tad's not imagining them," El interrupted firmly. "If Tad says they're real, then I believe him."

"Me too!" Angie chimed in.

"But you believe me about the tooth fairy and the easter bunny?"

El patted him on the head. "Yes, Dee. You did a great job! I liked the flashlight."

Dee humphed. "Thank you. I'm glad someone appreciated the artistry involved in presenting research data in an engaging and interactive fashion."

"...but we are gonna have a talk about the trackers. And the hacking."

"I'm sorry, you seem to be cutting out. Please attempt to reconnect this call at another time."

El dumped Angie gently out of his arms and onto the bed so he could give Dee a noogie. He squawked.

[abyssalpeach]

up against the ropes (a matcha blossom fic). rated e. also on ao3.

"Are you sure you don't have a concussion?" Kojiro's voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

"Positive."

a/n: i promise this started out totally normal and achingly tender before the brain worms whispered The Unholy Headcanon to me. pls forward this to my lawyer for when they come to take me away to horny jail.

anyway cheers to posting fic on tumblr again because somebody around here needs to start clogging the mb tag

Life was slowly returning to normal after the fateful S tournament where Langa had thoroughly whooped Ainosuke’s ass at his own game and Kaoru came out the other end seriously injured.

He had sustained a sprained ankle, a minor concussion, and the big one: a hairline fracture to his wrist.

He’d been lucky enough through the years to be a skilled and precise enough skater to avoid most injuries that would impede his work, but his luck had to run out eventually. Kaoru was honestly surprised it took even this long. He was not immune to bailing every once in a while.

But now his skating had massively affected his income for the first time in his entire adult life. It was a good thing he was self-employed and in an artistic profession where he could make his own rules and use art block as an excuse to push a deadline a little, but it didn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable with it.

His injuries on the other hand, were harder to explain away when they were so visible. He had to come up with an excuse at some point, and for someone with as much pride and poise as Kaoru, a nasty spill down the stairs was simply not a believable reason.

So, he told the truth. At least, as much of it as he was comfortable telling. He fell off a skateboard. Whether they inferred that he was a novice and simply trying to entertain one of his young relatives was none of his concern. They could think what they like.

He would’ve rather said that he’d gotten hit by a car, but it would surely look suspicious if he wasn’t involved in any kind of investigation or trial afterwards. Best to stick as close to the real story as possible and let people draw their own conclusions.

People were surprisingly generous with him during his time of injury. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, but his clientele always struck him as being fairly rigid. That’s why he took out all of his piercings and did his best to compartmentalize the different areas of his life. The resistance he was expecting to be met with when he was forced to push back dates for demonstrations and signing events was practically non-existent.

These things happen, they would say, as if he wasn’t a twenty-something year old professional admitting to falling off a skateboard. The reactions had him questioning whether or not he needed to be so cautious with his presentation and reputation after all.

There were too many things going on in his life that he was second-guessing now. Nothing was what it seemed to be anymore and he’s not entirely sure what to make of it. Kaoru spent so much time doing calculations, statistics, risk assessments, and not even the data could support the litany of weird shit he was enduring the past few months.

He really had come to terms with the fact that he was always going to be a little bit in love with Kojiro. He was always the nurturing sort, but he’d never gotten to experience it to that degree before. They spent every waking hour together for three whole weeks and somehow hadn’t killed each other yet.

Kaoru knew he was a needy person, and a jealous one at that. If he took it out on Kojiro unnecessarily sometimes, he was met with retaliation, and rightly so. He just couldn’t help himself. Kojiro could slut himself out to whoever he chose, but Kaoru would be damned if any of those women received the five-star treatment from Kojiro that he got.

No one could rile Kojiro up like he could. No one could critique Kojiro’s cooking like he could. No one could understand Kojiro like he could. Sure, they may have his bed for a night if they were lucky, but Kaoru held onto Kojiro’s heart with a vice grip and wouldn’t relinquish it for anything.

If Kaoru was going to be forced to live a life without enduring romance or marriage, he would make sure Kojiro was too. They were in this together, god dammit, they had been since they were in fucking kindergarden. They’ve done everything together for decades, that wasn’t about to change.

Maybe it wasn’t the best mentality for him to have, actually he knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t exactly talk himself out of his own feelings. Lord knows he’s tried to do that enough times over the years. A crush on his straight best friend and the biggest fuckboy in town. It was so embarrassing.

It was honestly kind of sick, this game that he’s been playing with Kojiro in his own mind. Maybe he just liked the thrill of the chase or always wanted things he couldn’t have and wouldn’t even know what to do if he got what he wanted, but these thoughts remained in the back of his mind throughout the years and all their petty squabbles. Life changes, but Kojiro never does.

He really needed to be less selfish. It’s not as though he deserved Kojiro’s kindness. The man has surely spent an ungodly amount of money throughout the years just to feed him. He probably writes it off as a business expense on his taxes, the damned fool.

“You’re my taste tester,” Kojiro rationalized. “I shamelessly use your discerning palette and instead of paying you in money, you would rather be paid in carbonara. You’re doing me a service.”

He’d do him a service alright. Glorious idiot.

It was a special kind of torture sharing space with him for so long. Waking up to breakfast in bed, afternoons spent doing nostalgia rewatches of their favorite stupid childhood shows, elaborate dinners, being bathed by him. It was… intimate. There really was no other word for it. Every night they parted ways after Kojiro had diligently washed his hair and dragged a soapy cloth across his back, every night he expected the tension to get the better of them, and every night Kojiro eased Kaoru into bed and excused himself to the couch.

And that was it. The cast and splint came off and Kojiro went home. His entire routine had been disrupted now. He had gotten used to all of the attention and care. And they still hadn’t killed each other. That part continued to baffle him. He didn’t feel smothered. Kojiro wasn’t sick to death of his neurotic behavior. If anything, he felt closer to Kojiro than ever before. It was like there was a seismic shift in the earth under him and he was, what? Expected to go back to how things were before? Fat chance.

He was able to repeat the same movements as before, going to Sia la Luce after he finished up with clients for the day, going to S together, working on improvements for Carla well into the night before passing out under the kotatsu. But something was missing. Big surprise, it was Kojiro. He hardly needed Carla to spell that one out for him.

It’s later than usual by the time he arrives at Sia la Luce, the lights in the dining room are already off, save for the ones above the counter he’s claimed as his own. The door is unlocked, but Kojiro is nowhere in sight.

He wanders into the kitchen to see if there’s something in the cooler worth raiding, but he finds his best friend casually sitting on the floor.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” Kojiro brings the bottle of whatever he’s drinking up to his mouth.

“That’s alright, I was overstepping my boundaries anyway.”

Kojiro lets out a thunderous laugh. “I hardly have boundaries when it comes to you, but good of you to own up to it.”

“Shut up, asshole,” he laughs. It’s a bit awkward. They need to have a serious conversation for once, and they both know it. “By the way, I... wanted to thank you.” Kaoru avoided his gaze, weight shifting between his feet.

Kojiro simply stared, not sure he was hearing that correctly. Kaoru continued, “For taking care of me.”

That seems to please him. “Somebody’s gotta do it. Not like Carla can carry you to bed.”

“Oh, fuck off. I’m trying to be nice.”

“You could certainly stand to do it more often, considering how much I feed you.”

Kaoru smiles softly, gaze dropping to his feet. “What are you doing on the floor anyway?”

“Having a beer, obviously. Want one?” Kaoru shook his head, moving to join him on the floor. He continued, “It was just a long day. Feet hurt.”

“Chairs too sophisticated for neanderthals now?” It almost sounded like a pet name.

“Is work going alright? How’s your wrist?”

“I’m fine, Kojiro. You don’t need to worry after me, you know.”

“Somebody should.” His answering smile is almost sad.

Silence fell heavily between them. Carla could never give him this. Ainosuke certainly never did. It was just Kojiro. Always Kojiro. “Would it be weird to say that I miss you?”

“I hope not, because I miss you too.”

“We should do something. See a movie, maybe.”

“We should. A movie sounds great actually, there’s one I was kinda wanting to see.” Kojiro pulls his phone out and is looking up showtimes, forwarding him a link to the trailer as he goes. It doesn’t look half bad for an action movie. It looks fun and fairly mindless, as they tend to be.

It’s a bit late and they’ve missed the last showing of the night, but they make a plan to go tomorrow. They settle back into their companionable, if slightly awkward, silence. Kojiro nurses his beer and Kaoru steals glances at his large hands, veiny and strong. His motions are not his own as he reaches for one and holds their palms up together, noting the difference in size.

Kojiro’s hands have always been a morbid fascination of his. He just likes to suffer, apparently. They’re large, but dextrous, with a couple prominent veins down the back. There’s some hair there now, not much, but it certainly wasn’t there when they were younger. What’s always been there is the smattering of freckles. Loathe as he is to admit it, he loves when Kojiro gets really tan and the freckles come out even more.

Kojiro’s hands have a couple burns on them and are a bit calloused from all the cooking and skating and working out. It almost makes him wish his own hands had half as much character. They’re soft and slender, not even particularly masculine, just generic. The only noteworthy thing about his hands is what they’re able to create.

Perhaps in this moment, he could use his hands to express the depth of his feelings to Kojiro. Something to avoid having to say it out loud.

Kojiro is watching their hands with rapt attention, his eyes soft but… pained? Before Kaoru can get the wrong idea about Kojiro rejecting him in that moment, he finds their fingers laced together. He’s never felt so warm.

“Kaoru…”

His face is so close. Kaoru can feel his warm breath on his cheek. He can feel his own blush. He dares a look into Kojiro’s eyes and finds everything he could’ve ever hoped for, but was too scared to imagine.

“Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?” Kojiro’s voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

“Positive.”

Kojiro’s hand was in his hair, bringing him close to brush their lips together, breathing him in before sealing his mouth over his. A pathetic noise rose from Kaoru’s chest, barely escaping his throat. Kojiro wanted to swallow it. Their hands were everywhere, tangled in hair, tracing along faces, scrambling at arms and shoulders.

They kiss just long enough for reality to sink in, pulling back with startled gasps.

He supposes astonishment is the best adjective to describe the look Kojiro gives him now. His own expression surely isn’t much different. But Kojiro raises their entwined hands to his mouth and presses a soft kiss to the back of his hand.

“Are you hungry,” he asks, as if they haven’t just crossed a line they hadn’t dared tread in the twenty years they’ve known each other. Kaoru nods slowly before letting his forehead rest against Kojiro’s.

“I’ll make your favorite,” his voice is a low rumble, sending shivers down Kaoru’s spine. Kojiro’s knees give an ominous crack when he rises from the floor, making him groan and Kaoru chuckle quietly.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when you get carpal tunnel. Don’t forget you’re next, pinky,” his smile is more disarming than ever, with hand outstretched to assist him off the floor. Kaoru takes the proffered hand, but not without getting in a jibe of his own.

“Maybe if you spent a little less time doing squats…”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not checking out my ass.” Kojiro’s laugh is thunderous when he sees Kaoru floundering for a comeback, knowing he’s been busted.

The rest of the evening passes without any more shocking revelations. Mostly it’s just… normal. There might be marginally less bite to their bickering and the glances they exchange might be a bit more tender, but it’s far from unusual. It’s familiar, and he knows that he’s safe, no matter what that kiss will mean for their relationship when tomorrow comes.

He waits next to the front door while Kojiro finishes locking up. The night air is crisp, the breeze cool instead of warm – a sign that the weather is about to turn from scorching heat to mild and temperate. They may not have seasons in the traditional sense, but it’s not as though it can be hot all the time.

Kojiro walks him home, gentleman that he is. Kaoru would read into it if this wasn’t already part of their routine. A routine they’re so entrenched in that they part ways with a “see you tomorrow” and a friendly wave. No fanfare, no trepidatious kiss to the cheek, nothing.

It’s disappointing really.

He’s mostly on autopilot as he readies himself for bed, thoughts consumed by what tomorrow might bring, mixed in with visions of that tender kiss. His toothpaste foams at the corner of his mouth and the blush sits high on his cheeks. He looks insane.

What kind of giddy teenager has he turned into? He’s a grown man , he should not be so affected by a simple kiss that happened an hour and a half ago.

He hunkers down into his futon and tries to shake it off.

His dreams are of crimson eyes, so soft, and lips that are even softer.

*****

They decide to just meet up at the movie theater since Kojiro bought their seats ahead of time. He tried to pay him back, but Kojiro refused.

God, it was like a real date and they were fighting over the stupid check.

He’s wearing pants for a change. Well, they’re still hakama, he isn’t being too adventurous, but he did pair it with a black halter top. He really ought to wear these pants more. They’re a light sage green color and decorated with small white flowers. He knows they look good with his hair and the fabric feels downright sensual against his skin.

When Kojiro rounds the corner, he doesn’t spot Kaoru right away, giving him a chance to drink his fill of the sight of him. He’s got his black bomber on this time, the one with the leather sleeves that he typically only wears for special occasions.

He’s so fucked.

When they do finally lock eyes, Kojiro’s entire face lights up and strides over to meet him. He does not miss the appreciative way he looks Kaoru up and down. He shifts on his feet, unaccustomed to Kojiro being so brazen with him.

“You look great!” He’s honestly such a child, he’s so giddy. It’s charming as hell.

They head into the theater, making small talk along the way. It’s not often they have time off that lines up, but Kojiro closes early on Sundays and doesn’t reopen until Tuesday.

Kojiro spent his day tidying up around the house and planning menus. Kaoru mostly spent his day fussing over his hair and worrying about tonight, not that he would divulge that particular bit to Kojiro. Instead, he claims to have spent his afternoon tending to Carla’s operating system. If Kojiro sees through the lie, he doesn’t say anything.

They’re early enough that the trailers haven’t started yet, so Kojiro stands in line to get them snacks while Kaoru uses this opportunity to visit the restroom. When he emerges, he finds Kojiro leaning just a tad too far over the counter, talking conspiratorially to the snack counter girl. Before he has the chance to get upset though, Kojiro waves him over with a grin so dopey that it rivals one of the seven dwarves.

Kojiro hands him the sour candies he favors so much and pushes off from the counter. He’s got his own popcorn in one hand and the other draped casually over his shoulders as he walks them to their seats.

“Who was that,” Kaoru inquired, hopefully not sounding too jealous.

“Oh, that was one of Rini’s old friends! Haven’t seen her since she was like eleven years old!”

Rini was one of Kojiro’s younger sisters. He hopes his sigh of relief isn’t too noticeable.

They settle into their seats while Kojiro rambles on about Rini’s friend and how she’s getting ready to graduate and move to Tokyo, where Rini has been for the past year. The way Kojiro talks about the people in his family and their circle around them has always left Kaoru jealous. Not in the sense that he wants to be the only one in Kojiro’s life, but wishing he had something like that to call his own.

His parents weren’t exactly the warm and nurturing type, often keeping Kaoru at a distance. No matter how hard he rebelled as a teenager, nothing seemed to make them pay attention. They’d pay for anything else though: toys, skateboards, a car, tuition. Anything to get him off their back.

It had to be why he gravitated towards Kojiro so much. Just being in the Nanjo house, crowded and messy though it often was, there was love and family to be found there.

Kaoru really needed to get a grip. It’s not like Kojiro would be flirting with someone while they’re literally on a date. If that’s what this even is. Surely it must be. The movie plans predicated the kiss, but it was a pretty straight fucking line from A to B. There was definitely a charged undercurrent to this little outing.

Kaoru squirms in his seat, sneaking glances over at Kojiro’s form next to him. Don’t ask him what’s going on in the movie because all he knows is that Kojiro’s body language is open, but his hands are clutching his popcorn container. He offers it to Kaoru wordlessly, getting in his space and leaning over the armrest. He allows himself to indulge, but it’s not the popcorn he indulges in, it’s Kojiro’s proximity.

They remain close for the rest of the movie, still in their own seats and occasionally shifting to a more comfortable position, but their bodies lean towards each other like magnets. Sometimes Kojiro will whisper something to Kaoru and earn them a shush from someone behind them, making Kaoru outright giggle.

Everything is always funnier when you’re not supposed to be talking or laughing. It reminds him of high school, though usually he was the one getting Kojiro into trouble rather than the other way around.

Life has changed around them. They’re practically whole new people now, but through all their evolutions, they can’t shake each other. They always go together, balancing each other out perfectly.

He wonders if this new development of their relationship will throw a wrench into it all. Much as he wants this, he doesn’t know what he’d do without Kojiro. That’s his best friend. No one in the world knows him better. Maybe they’ll be okay.

In fact, he’s all but sure of it now.

The credits come sooner than either of them expects, and they slowly put themselves to rights and clean up their trash. They wander lazily towards the exit, probably holding up the people behind them.

It’s warmer outside than it was the previous night. The breeze blows through his hair, and it has Kaoru feeling wistful. He takes in a deep breath and looks up at the stars. Neither of them has anything left to say, really. They just stand there in companionable silence, wondering what comes next.

Kaoru looks over to Kojiro, and you’d think he never looked away from the sky for how starry his gaze looks. Kojiro steps close, gingerly tucking a loose hair back behind Kaoru’s ear. He has to take a steadying breath.

“Why don’t you stay at mine tonight,” Kojiro asks.

Unsure whether his voice will come out normal or not, he gives only a curt nod. “I brought the bike,” Kaoru gestures to the Carla motorcycle, trying to get his blush under control, “it’s right over there.”

Kojiro climbs on the back of the bike, legs spread wide and inviting. Kaoru slides between him and the handlebars, turning the ignition. Kojiro lets his hands fall to Kaoru’s waist and he scooches himself even further up. If he feels like he’s being smothered now, he has no idea how he’s going to make it through the rest of the night. The engine roars to life, creating encouraging vibrations beneath them.

Kaoru’s sense of urgency to get them back to Kojiro’s place is only heightened when his hands creep up his ribcage and back down to his hips. They get stopped by a light and Kojiro takes his opportunity to pull Kaoru’s hips even further into his own and drop a hot kiss to where his neck meets his shoulder.

The sound of the bike drowns out much of the obscene moan he lets out, for which he is grateful. They need to get home now.

They’re only a block or so away and Kojiro’s forehead is pressed between his shoulder blades as he tries to calm his breathing.

What feels like mere moments later, he pulls up outside Kojiro’s building and kills the engine. For all the build up, the two are frozen in place, still slotted against each other. This is it. Kojiro steps off the bike first, his hand coming into Kaoru’s line of vision. Their eyes connect and Kaoru can’t help but smirk. Kaoru puts his hand in Kojiro’s and lets himself be pulled from the bike. He doesn’t let go of Kojiro’s hand, even as he fishes through his pockets for his keys.

Once they finally make it into Kojiro’s apartment, they’re immediately reaching for each other. The kiss is explosive and they greedily paw at each other’s clothes. Kojiro’s jacket doesn’t even make it past the genkan. Kaoru’s hakama are hastily discarded so Kojiro can hoist him into the air, legs wrapping around his bulky frame. He sucks relentlessly on Kojiro’s lips and tongue, digging his fingers into his shoulders.

The pleased noises Kojiro makes are sure to haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. Kojiro steers them into his bedroom, dropping Kaoru gracelessly onto the bed. He wriggles out of his jeans and Kaoru grabs a fistful of his shirt, yanking him down on top of him.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, rolling and writhing together, not an inch of space between them.

Kaoru grabs two handfuls of his plump ass, grinding their hips together in a way so filthy that it has Kojiro practically choking for air. “Kaoru, fuck.” They’re both so hard, panting so heavily into each other’s mouths and they haven’t even gotten to the main event. Kojiro extracts himself from Kaoru long enough to grab the condoms and lube from his side table. Kaoru takes the moment to adjust his ponytail higher on his head and snatches the supplies right from Kojiro’s hands.

“Lay down,” his tone leaves no room for argument and Kojiro scrambles up to the headboard to heed him. “Good boy,” he praises before peeling him out of his boxer briefs and taking every impressive inch of him into his mouth.

He doesn’t even ease Kojiro into it, he’s too greedy. He’s immediately taking him all the way to the back of his throat and hollowing out his cheeks, groaning at the taste.

“Jesus fuck, Kaoru, take it easy,” he cries out, head thrown back. “I’m gonna blow my load before we even get to it.”

“Don’t tell me that your reputation is all bullshit.”

“Hey, give me a break! I’ve waited a long time for you, okay,” he runs his fingers through the ends of Kaoru’s ponytail.

“I’d hardly call that ‘waiting,’ you slept with everyone who fluttered their eyelashes in your direction.” Kaoru rips at the condom package and rolls it on, firmly placing the bottle of lube into Kojiro’s hand. He swings a leg over him, straddling his hips with another filthy grind.

“Of course you even wanna fight during sex,” he laughs into Kaoru’s mouth, pulling him down for a kiss, “can’t believe I expected anything less.”

“Yeah, shame on you,” Kaoru slips his tongue into Kojiro’s open mouth as he sinks a slick finger into his ass. The pressure punches a sharp moan from him, but he quickly relaxes into it, rocking his hips back into Kojiro’s hand.

Kaoru spends the next minutes sucking at every bit of skin he can get his mouth on. He wants to devour Kojiro, leave him without a shadow of a doubt who he belongs to. Kaoru drags the flat of his tongue over one of Kojiro’s nipples, keeping direct eye contact and giving it a few more kitten licks until Kojiro is a restless mess beneath him. He finally, finally sinks back onto Kojiro’s fat cock with a firm nip to his chin. He sits back on his haunches with a luxuriant roll of his neck. He can practically feel him in his throat. “Fuck, you’re huge.”

“God, Kaoru, you can’t say stuff like that,” he is clearly fighting for his life down there, “not if you want me to last.”

Kaoru can’t help but chuckle darkly, “Come on, big boy, I know you can do better than that.” Kojiro thrusts up harshly in retaliation. He takes that as an invitation to start moving, swiveling his hips, grinding down and getting used to the feeling of Kojiro inside of him. Kojiro presses his fingers into the meat of his thighs harshly as they sink into a rhythm.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” Kojiro praises.

He wonders how many people he’s called that.

Maybe they should be going slower. Really relishing in the fact that they’re finally doing this after all this time.

Fuck that actually. They’ve waited long enough. They have all the time to go slow later. Now? Now they can be rabid and ravenous, biting and grabbing at each others’ flesh. That’s more their style anyway.

Kojiro throws his head back with a delicious groan. Kaoru only picks up the pace, riding him like it’s his fucking job.

“Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru…”

God, he could get used to this. He intends to get used to this, to Kojiro’s enormous body entwined with his, warming his bed, his moans, making his eyes roll back in his head just like that.

Kaoru whips his hair to the other shoulder and brings their mouths together again, panting heavily into each other’s mouths, touching foreheads damp with sweat.

“Kaoru… I’m not gonna last, Kaoru.”

He pours a kiss into his mouth. “Give it to me, Koji. Cum.”

He does what he’s told for a change. Liquid white heat runs through his body and seeps into his veins. Kaoru comes long and thick on Kojiro’s heaving chest, having an out-of-body experience or maybe ascending to a higher state of being.

He watches himself take one slender finger and drag it through his mess.

He marks Kojiro with a singular kanji, drawing it right there on his chest.

Mine.

Mine.

It’s so base of him. And certainly petty. He watches understanding dawn on Kojiro’s face and he worries he’s gone too far.

No. He needs to know.

“No one else.” He leaves no room for argument.

“There never was anyone who could live up to you anyway.” Kojiro agrees all the same, tucking a loose strand of pink hair back behind Kaoru’s ear.

He relaxes and drapes himself along Kojiro’s side, legs still tangled together. Their breathing slowly returns to normal and Kaoru can’t help but smell him. He needs to burn this into his memory in every conceivable way.

Kojiro shifts like he means to get up and start cleaning them off, but Kaoru grips his large bicep and effectively pins him with his gaze.

They can clean up in the morning. For now, they just let it sink in.

[descaladumidera]

Fuck it, I'm gonna put out my ideas for a Fratt Pacific Rim!AU. Do with this what you want.

Okay, lemme paint the background picture.

SHIELD are the ones behind the Jaeger program, with Nick Fury at the head. Once Curtis lost his leg during That One Mission, Fury seeks him out and recruits him (like Fury does), which leads to Curt dragging in Frank and Billy, because he knows they would be damn good at operating a Jaeger together.

Now on to Frank.

Frank and Billy were marines and friends first, so they have the discipline and they are drift compatible. They go on a lot of missions (don't have a name for their Jaeger yet—maybe The Punisher? *coughs*)—successful missions. They're the heroes of the Jaeger program. Until everything goes to shit. A Kaiju attacks New York and kills Frank's family. Frank and Billy try to stop it, but they fail, their Jaeger breaks, and Billy dies on this mission. Frank is … not in a good place. He wants to find a new partner, wants to take revenge, but Fury and Curt deem him too unstable and pull him out of the program. Frank goes back to New York (meeting the Liebermans during that time).

((Lieberman tie-in.

David do as David does and hacks into databases he shouldn't hack into. So when he finds stuff he shouldn't find, he panics. But he knows that a rather legendary Jaeger pilot (Frank) is back in New York, so he finds him.

"You have the connections! You can tell SHIELD about the illegal Kaiju trade!"

Frank does not want to do this. He does not. He tells David as much, shoves his middle finger into his face, and leaves. But David is a persistent asshole, so he tracks him down. Again. And again. And again. Until Frank groans and comes by to at least look at what David has found. That's when he meets David's family ('cause he has his set-up down in the basement of his house). Of course Leo, Zach, and Sarah make Frank stay for dinner. And then they make him come over again. And again. And again. Until he can't help but feel integrated into their family. Goddamnit.))

And now on to Matt.

Matt has been part of the Jaeger program family since he was a kid. Jack got recruited just after Matt got blinded, desperately needing to provide for his son, and the people at SHIELD were his best bet to give Matt the care he needed. Jack actually was Fury's partner and they operated a Jaeger together (also no name for this one—maybe Daredevil? *coughs*). Of course shit goes south and Jack dies during a mission, Fury taking it upon himself to keep Matt at the base and raise him.

Matt goes on to become one of their analysts, one of the best (at one point Foggy and Karen get recruited, too, and work alongside him). Despite not being able to see any of the Kaiju and the samples that end up at the base, Matt can draw conclusions from the data he has like nobody else. He, Foggy, and Karen find out about the pattern in which Kaiju will appear.

Now onto Frank and Matt meeting.

This discovery prompts Fury to seek out Frank, because, well, they need the best of the best and it has been years by now, so he wants to give Frank another chance. Frank comes back when he hears what's at stake (and brings the Liebermans with him—he doesn't want to lose another family and David can join Matt, Foggy, and Karen). The problem is—nobody is drift compatible with him. They try the best of the best: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, etc. None of them work.

On one night, Frank thinks it would be best to find out anything he can, so he goes to the lab and asks the analysts himself for all the details. Because he knows Fury and he knows that Fury's secrets have secrets. And that's when he meets Matt, that's when he realizes how goddamn fucking smart he is. And he wants to try to drift with Matt.

Fury is like, hell no, of course. But Frank is nothing if not persistent, and Matt has a secret desire to try this. Because of his dad. Because the Murdock boys have the Devil in them. Because he is just so tired of not doing enough. Fury is still like, hell no. So Matt and Frank just. Do it. Without Fury's permission. 'Cause they're assholes.

Of course Matt, never having drifted before, goes down the rabbit hole. That's when Frank learns that Battlin' Jack Murdock—the man he had looked up to since he was a kid—was Matt's dad.

I have a shitton of other ideas, all expanding the universe and including other characters. But this is the more specific stuff I came up with.