#and you know what? I AM cute. Can't believe i ever thought otherwise

[amarenacherriezzz]

I used to crave validation so bad when i was younger, especially from men, because i felt ugly and unlovable and unworthy. I'm so glad I'm growing out of that mindset and am finally treating myself the way i should have from the start. Let's be honest, there is no amount of love another person can pour into you that will ever feel like enough if you keep constantly draining your cup by hating yourself. Nowadays outside validation just feels like a little extra boost.

[699charcoalp]

All alone with you

Fanwork about Lincoln and my MC Remus. A lot of grammar problems(because English is not my first language) and ooc, my fault.

Title source: All Alone With You by Egoist.

"Lincoln." someone said in the room. "I am here," Lincoln asked, "Want something?" "Nothing," Lincoln's beloved said, "I just want to know you are still with me." "Alright." And then, Lincoln saw his singer smile and wave at him. Good, again, that smile. Lincoln walks to him and sits down. If someone had acted like that before today, Lincoln might have felt a little bit strange but……the people who did this act were Lincoln's singer, star, and boyfriend. So Lincoln thought everything about the man in front of him seemed…… normal and cute. Immediately after leaving the hospital, Remus checked into Lincoln's house, where he refused all contact with anyone connected to his past (except Lincoln) and just stayed in his room all day. Other than the above, everything is normal. Remus lived in Lincoln's house like a cheerful ghost, he'd scorch the pots when he was cooking, and he'd beg Lincoln to buy a game because it was on sale on his steam wishlist (even though Remus had the money to buy it). It's just that he doesn't make any music anymore, and it's like the days of being the lead singer of a band never happened. A lot of people will say "That is abnormal", but Lincoln is not. For Lincoln, that's just one …… piece in the person of Remus, as a seeing every turn of a kaleidoscope, which is endearing no matter what it looks like. Remus laughs very violently but rarely smiles now. Contrary to when he used to be in the band, Remus used to smile a lot at that time because it was unobtrusive. Remus dreaded every stare. In one of the few interviews he was in the band, he once said: “It's a good thing I'm nearsighted, otherwise I can't have any way of fooling myself that ‘nobody's looking at me’". Lincoln replays this interview again and again and then feels proud because Remus is not afraid of him. Even at that time the members of the band, including Remus himself, knew that Lincoln was Remus's fan (of the intimidating variety). "Did you ever think of calling the police when I used to see you every time? " When the first day of Remus moved into Lincoln's house, Lincoln joked. Remus turns around and looks at him like he heard some unbelievable thing. "No, never, "Remus told him, "Why do I have to? I mean……I know you put a huge attention on me but……" Remus throws the thing that he holding away. His hands gestured idly in the air, trying to find the exact answer in these mysterious gestures, but he finally gave up. "I don't know," Remus spoke frustrated, "Even though from the first time I met you the people around me have said that you are a bit strange ……I still feel you will never hurt me." "You trust me?" "I just believe my heart." Remus shrugged, “Even though a lot of the time it shouts so loud inside me because it's triggering some switch that shouldn't be triggered, it's fine to listen and see what it has to say once in a while, at least I can feel safe. ” When Remus finished, he and Lincoln stared at each other silently for a moment. "Any question?" After this moment, Remus tilted his head slightly to the left. "No." Lincoln laughed and helped Remus put his baggage.

Lincoln's thoughts returned to this room in the present. He changed the subject as if nothing had happened, "So what are we eating tonight?" "Sichuan fish soup with pickled mustard greens, Dandan noodles, and Chili oil wontons." Remus began to say the food's name without hesitation. "Can we just eat hotpot?" “No way.” Remus vetoed, “Hot pot and this type of dish are both from Sichuan or Chongqing but they are not essentially the same thing, and I have to correct you on this erroneous idea that ‘all spicy Chinese food is related to hot pot’.” “All right.”Lincoln stood up, "Want some drink?" "Jasmine milk tea 80% sweet no ice large and without boba." There were no pauses, and someone used his lung capacity well. "Maybe someday you'll try some new flavors of milk tea?" "Yeah, maybe when this world is destroyed." Remus roll his eyes. "Wanna come with me?" Lincoln pretended to extend the invitation as if nothing had happened. "No. I don't want to." Remus' handsome face scrunched up so fast. Remus has never been out of the house since moving into the Lincoln home, except to see the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist claims it's a "pathological isolation" and reminds Lincoln that he must help Remus out of this "rut," but Lincoln thinks it's okay that Remus doesn't want to leave the house. At least he'll never leave me, Lincoln thought, and I don't think Remus doesn't realize he's self-isolating himself. The man who can write lyrics that can make people crazy emotion can't be so stupid that he doesn't realize what he's doing; he just needs time, even if the length of that time is a lifetime. Lincoln stands up and leaves the room, Remus silently follows Lincoln out of the room before taking up position by the door to the room, he leans his full weight against the door frame and watches with his arms crossed over his chest as Lincoln begins to put on his shoes after picking up his car keys. "Miss me?" "No, my dear fan," Remus lied without changing his face, "I just wanna turn the drawing room's light off." Lincoln shrugged, he knew what Remus looked like when he tried to lie, but he was happy to pretend he was being lied to. He walks to the door, but Remus doesn't move. Until Lincoln opens the door and wants to close it, through the crack in the door, Lincoln sees Remus quietly walk toward the switch to turn the light off, and immediately afterward he hears Remus say aloud, "Take care on the road. " The door closed.

@pressplay-if I was going to post it anonymously but couldn't find it …… Anyway! (leaving Tumblr nervously, leaving my laptop nervously, leaving this internet nervously)

[soo-won]

Akatsuki no Yona chapter 60 magazine vs volume

Hi everyone! I managed to get my hands on the clip out of the magazine version of chapter 60 from Hana to Yume issue 17/2012, and as we don't have much trace from the magazine versions of the chapters from then, i thought it would interesting to share my findings! First, the color page: the editor text says "What will become of Yona and the others? The suspens is agonizing, but?!" (baby trio time!!!!!!) Otherwise it advertizes volume 9 and how well it's been doing. It was the first ever volume to get a special edition and cover with a new drama CD and comments from the seiyuus! Something that I can't help but find a bit ironic is how they really highlight Takuhiro Sakurai as Tae-jun on the bottom right and ah yeah...this didn't age too well.

Behind the color page, it shows that Hana to Yume was (already back then) having a special Yona Crimson Festival campaign. This is when belated Kentaro Miura drew an illustration of the whole main cast that could be win in a lottery, with a reproduction of the special cover of volume 9, autographs of the seiyuus from the drama CD and Kusanagi, and a totebag with Ao that I had never seen before. Miura apparently said that he just ended up drawing the whole cast since it grew a lot (since the time he had only drawn Yona and Hak I assume).

Then to the chapter in itself. I know Kusanagi started really making changes between the magazines and tankoubon(volumes) in relatively recent years so I didn't expect to find any difference here honestly but I found a few! I also find it interesting to see her author's note, the summary of the plot and presentation of the characters etc all around.

So! Page 2 and the first page of the chapter. No change with the manga page from the volume we know of here, but I thought it would be interesting to share for what's below. I honestly am a bit too lazy to translate the whole synopsis as I don't think it says anything novel or specially interesting (I can still do it if someone insist), but I found the characters presentation sweet since it's different from the one we've been getting for every chapter for a while, and it's very cute too since it's specially for this flashback mini-arc.

Yona: Kouka Kingdom's Princess. She is an only child who lost her mother at a young age. She is preciously raised by her father and King Il.

Suwon: Yona's cousin of three years older. He has been gently watching over Yona like a little sister ever since he's little.

Hak: The successor of Mundok, General of the Wind Tribe. Later on, he'll become the servant and bodyguard of his childhood friend Yona.

Now on to page 4: Yona's hair and face were redrawn on the third panel! The movement lines next to her head were erased too. For the text and font, you can also see that the font of the first bubble was changed for the default one, and that they're formated it slightly differently in the last box. We don't often think about the original lettering in manga and how they can also change between raw and volume do we?

Page 7: It's not like this change matter much, but I was so surprised and happy to find out that this iconic page had been modified as well. The third panel that showcases how lively Kuuto is was completely replaced with people playing music. I think the volume version indeed conveys Kuuto's atmosphere much better (like why would Yona be so amazed at two men talking and drinking really), but it's interesting to find out that back then they struggled to find what to put there precisely. From a creative process pov this is so relatable lmao.

Other than these two pages before, I haven't noticed any other change, but I thought I would share Kusanagi's author comment!

"I'm so so happy. I can't believe Miura-sensei drew me an illustration of Yona(and of the whole main cast at that!). This boost me up even more to do my very best! Thank you so much (happiness)."

Nothing special on the last page, but if anyone wondered if there was some editor text here to tease the next chapter...well no there isn't nfjbfhjbg. I so wish I could get my hands on chapter 61 too...

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get my hands on much more of those but I also got chapter 24 with this one, and I noticed a couple of things I'd like to share as well so stay tuned for that :)

[iizuumi]

Why do you ship Gen and Reno? Genuine question, I don't mean to sound rude at all. Sorry if it comes off that way.

I recently caught up with the manga (haven't read B-side yet) and there weren't any interactions between them.. is it just that they look cute together?

Thank you if you answer, I love your art- am just wondering 🍪💕

It really did just start off with me thinking they're the most pretty characters so they should kiss LMAO

but since then I have spent a lot of time thinking about them so let me present to you some of my findings on why they would work so well together!!

that i will put under the cut because i'm shy

a lot of this will make me sound like i am this meme but hear me out okay i've thought about this B-Side spoiler for the first one! but i have to mention it bc it's like my favourite part of them and also probably the one that makes most sense lmao skdjfhs It touches on a part of narumi's backstory so skip it if you don't want the spoiler!

shared backstory/ trauma!! I think with both of them knowing what it's like to lose their family and grow up without anyone around who really cared for them they'd be able to understand each other better than anyone else understood them before. I feel like they both possibly never had a place in the world where they really belonged since losing their family (with narumi always being pushed from one person to the next and reno's grandmother seemingly unable to really give him a good home) so in my mind they finally find a place in the world by each other's side because they get each other! They've been through the same shit! They'll finally help each other heal after all these years of not dealing with it!! Also it's really interesting how they have the same/similar pasts but both deal with it so differently. Narumi being all childish because he never got to have a proper childhood and Leno being so mature & caring like he wishes someone cared for him ;;

We know that Narumi is all about strength, all about results so who better to catch his eye than Reno who is getting better and showing results so quickly!! starting at 8% release force and then getting up to 43% with a numbers weapon after not even that much time??? Pls there's no way Narumi doesn't see the potential!! Also just the fact that nobody has ever been able to use 6 before like I'm sure that's already enough to turn everyone's heads but tell me narumi wouldn't be curious about this little prodigy who got their strongest weapon!

I just think squishing humanity's strongest together with the strongest numbers weapon user is a very sexy combination like just the sound of that sounds correct to me yes

They can bring out a side in each other that they otherwise don't get to show much? I feel like Reno is always taking on the responsible adult role lmao he's always worrying about everyone and taking care of things and narumi is such a silly little childish goober if he can't help reno unwind and allow himself to be a bit of a kid again then who can!! Reno is just a little guy, sit him down and make him play video games like everyone else his age!!

Looking at how Reno deals with Kafka's Kaiju transformation shenanigans I believe Reno would be very good at putting up with Narumi's shenanigans as well lmao but also he is such a polite little guy!! I think the combination of Reno being very much polite towards Narumi but also not taking shit from him is just very much amusing to me.

Reno's whole character arc is built around him trying to get stronger and strong enough to stand by Kafka's side but like if he keeps getting stronger and stronger where will he end up?? As the strongest. Which currently is Narumi ofc. So i do like the idea of Reno maybe idolizing Narumi a little bit ,, seeing how strong he is and being like yeah that's where I need to be. and ofc it's all about being strong enough to protect his loved ones but who says narumi can't be included in that by the time he gets there!!

@acystreia told me about this one but apparently electrical currents move a lot better through air than through ice? and isn't Narumi's whole ability with 1 built on him seeing electrical impulses from the brain to tell what someone is going to do next?? And Reno's whole ability with 6 is centered around the ice thing? which means Reno is the worst possible matchup against narumi in a fight???? I think this alone is reason enough for them to make out immediately. I don't actually remember any physics so this might just be me talking out of my ass but if i'm wrong i don't want to know let me live in my delusions i'm happy here

that's all I can think about right now .... I'm sorry for the long post LMAO but i hope you see my vision at least a little bit 🙏 and if not that's okay too c: still thank you for being interested in them!! ♥

[hannieluvsyou]

Super shy.

Kwon Soonyoung x Reader

description: Wherein the loud boy gets smitten with his seatmate, the shy girl.

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing.

note: I apologize in advance for any typos or grammatical errors.

'This guy keeps staring at me...' I thought as I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to ignore the intense stare that shoots holes through the side of my head.

Who you may ask? Kwon Soonyoung. My seatmate.

Ever since he became my seatmate, he's a bit too uh... Loud for my liking. I don't really pay him any mind but his stares and loud mouth make me sweat literal fucking bullets.

"Hey uh– do you have a spare pen?" I quickly looked at him, surprised at the sudden question. He just stares at me as he waits for my response.

'Shit shit shit what do I say?!' I internally panic as I look for a pen.

Soonyoung patiently waits with sweaty palms. He finally talked to you! Even if you looked scared shitless, he talked to you! All he has to do now is do it every chance he gets. The hard part is well, talking to you.

Talking to people is like taking a walk in the park for him. But when it comes to you, it's a completely different story. His usual loud ass mouth becomes a thin line and his usually relaxed eyes are almost bulging out of it's sockets.

After some time, he saw a pen slide on his side of the desk.

"Here, I hope you don't mind. I don't have any other pen available." I say as I play with the pages of my book.

Soonyoung stares at the unicorn themed pen in his hand.

'Cute.' He fanboyed in his mind, pink dusting his cheeks.

He clutched it and looked at you with sparkly eyes.

"I like it!" He started. "Thank you." He said while sporting a blinding smile.

"No problem..." I whisper lowly. I don't think he heard me but his smile that widened says otherwise.

He knows that you're a shy one, but that does not stop him from feeling these particular emotions. He strongly believes that 'opposites attract'.

A few days have passed since that interaction. I have embarrassed myself once, I'm not letting myself get embarrassed twice. I just have to avoid him for as long as I can. It's not that I don't like the guy, I just don't think that we'll ever get along.

Soonyoung on the other hand, will do anything just to talk to you. Accidentally bumping into you, asking for notes, inviting you for lunch, he has tried everything. Yet what does he get? A scared expression and quick nods. It's not like he's not hurt about it, but he understands that you may be a bit overwhelmed with his advances.

But today may be the day that things will change.

I have a quiz today, and that means that I only got 2 hours of sleep. I might've aced the exam but I am tired as hell.

I can't help the bobbing of my head. 'It feels like I have a fucking brick as a head.' I thought while my eyes are only halfway open.

Soonyoung of course notices, and is about to ask if you're okay. But before he can, your head is immediately met by the hard table resulting in a loud 'bam!' sound. You remained still, already fast asleep. Luckily for you, there was only four other people in the room that don't seem to really care.

'Her position looks really uncomfortable..' he thought. An idea came up, but he ponders for a bit since you might not approve.

Finally he caves in and gently brushes the stray hairs out of your face, admiring your face in the process.

"So cute.." he said quietly as to not wake you up.

He shifts your position and now you're head is laying on his shoulder while his arm is securely wrapped around you. You unconsciously snuggle closer to him.

You stir a bit and notice your change in position. You look up and see Soonyoungs face, but before you can say anything he silently assures you that it's okay.

You ponder for a bit but doze off again, wrapping your arms around his waist slowly.

'I guess he's not that bad..' I thought before fully letting darkness engulf my vision.

He prays that you won't kill him when you fully wake up but for now, he'll enjoy this moment with you.

[mdhwrites]

So if Dana said she didn't have any original season 3 ideas, why did she also say on Twitter that she wanted 10-20 half hours for season 3?

Now apparently from the transcript and the like, what was said that there were like one sentence pitches for episodes but nothing concrete or the like. That I believe. After all, it's like taking sticky notes and using them to jot down passing thoughts. But... Ideas don't mean anything. You need to have an actual coherent thought as to how you are going to use those ideas as a creator.

So when she says she wanted those episodes, I believe her. But... Instead of it being so she could have coherently finished her story, something you can feel isn't exactly happening during S3, it would have been to explore her ideas and let it be her mouthpiece. Even as far back as S1, you can clearly see this conflict in the show. The First Day lets her take potshots at modern education and saying kids should have more freedom... At the expense of everyone forgetting that multi-tracking is literally illegal. But the idea was more important than the overall story so in it went.

Besides, when asked about your work that you cherish so much, are you going to tell people you wanted LESS time to do whatever you wanted? Or are you going to say you wanted as much time as possible? Especially since without a solid plan, you can't be like Matt Braley who straight up went "Nope. Amphibia wasn't shortened. It was always planned to be three seasons."

I still stand by the idea that Dana actually wanted to just keep going WELL past S3. Even now, she wants to do a spin off and one of her greatest regrets for what was missed was not being allowed to do more teenage Raeda stuff in the show. A second episode in the past. Expanding on what? Who knows but it's more time spent with the ship that Dana clearly loved.

I am not saying Dana was lying or a bad person but the question that is worth asking is if that time would have been spent actually wrapping up plot threads or exploring characters as they are now. Otherwise, it would end up being like the S2B and S3 we got where we are still getting elements added, refusing to wrap up story elements, and having to drag back plot points from almost entire seasons ago (Willow and Amity's friendship), if not MULTIPLE seasons ago (Willow's lack of power control) just to do something with these characters despite it being way too late to treat those elements as relevant. There is a reason why if I hear that Dana is the lead for another cartoon, I'll probably be staying away. Not when I don't want promising statements to never have a plan behind. Not again.

Expected this to be shorter. I'm rambly though. Also just wanted to clear this out. Admittedly, it's stuff like this that makes it so that if anyone ever told me they didn't trust me as a writer, I'd understand. Not because of me wasting time but because my mental health gets in the way and can cause ideas to die as my brain just refuses to write them. How we as writers use our time with the audience is important. It leaves an impression and for me, Dana's impression is incredibly negative because I care about story, even if characters come first to me.

Sigh.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[misc-obeyme]

hihi I'm back again, and here to ask who in the cast you think has the skill to do hair/up do's?

I'm 5'9, but my hair is now down to my mid thigh, and like around three feet long ?? I haven't chopped it since 2018, only trimmed it. Yet I only know how to do a simple braid, my hair basically lives in a low ponytail lol (though my mom will still do my hair if I ask her for help, which I'm grateful for)

anyway I got to read vol 2 of the manga and I remembered that the artist drew their interpretation of Lilith. So, it made me wonder if Beel or Belphie would know how to do hair, since they were the closest to her, and if she ever asked them for help?

I think Levi would be able to follow any tutorial, or figure out how to do something by trial and error since he cosplays (I bet he made his ruri-chan wig himself). I'd love to show him a picture of the heroine from whatever anime I'm watching and ask if he could help me recreate their style

Asmo we've seen in the dame cards, he's done some cute hairstyles!! I bet I could go to him if I had a fancy event.

I still think about Mammon's dame card... The chokehold it has on me is wild. We saw him do his own make-up in the art, and I think it was said he made his own outfit. So he's a maybe I could go to him? Or he'd put a lot of effort into learning because he knows it'd make me happy lolol

Barbatos also looks really pretty in the dame card !! I haven't read that devilgram, so idk if he did it himself, but what can't he do? I know in TTWF devilgram he literally makes MC's outfit and it made me SWOON

my last thought is if you can just do stuff with magic instead. Does it drain your energy to keep the style, or is it a one and done kinda spell, and don't gotta worry about it? Could a really powerful sorcerer change their hair color, and never have to worry about it fading? That'd be really cool, since I need to re dye the streaks in my hair. That would save lots of money LOL

okay I'm done 😅 time to wait ten billion years for my hair to dry now and try drawing (aiming for every other day to create something new to get better!!)

- ✨ anon

HOW do you handle having hair that long?!?

I'm 5'7" and I used to have my hair down to my low back. It was during the pandemic when I couldn't exactly go get it cut, so I just let it grow lol. And it grows dang fast, but I don't think I've ever had it past the low back area??? Do you accidentally sit on it sometimes? Or is it usually okay because you have it tied back?

All I know is I was so relieved to chop it all off lol! It's super short now, which is how I like it. It takes me ten minutes to wash and style it. I just don't have the patience to maintain it when it's long. And it's naturally curly, so having it short also means I can just let it curl and not worry about it. Ah but I am pretty envious because I always wanted to be able to have one of those really long, thick braids...

Anyway, getting off topic here, back to the question! I do think magic can be used to alter hair! I think sometimes you can get stuff that's temporary (I do believe there was a daily chat about this where Asmo put some kind of potion or something on Lucifer and Mammon?), but I would be surprised if there wasn't some kind of magic spell to permanently keep your hair whatever color you want. I think it's probably just a one and done situation so you wouldn't have to maintain it. Or at least, they'd want to develop something like that because otherwise it wouldn't be worth it right?

As for the characters, I agree with your assessments! I do think in a general sense, they'd all try their best to do your hair if you needed them to.

But as for who would already be capable without having to learn first, I think Asmo is a top contender. Barb can absolutely do anything and I don't doubt that styling hair is something a good butler should know.

I think Levi is another good option for the same reasons you said! I think he probably does have some skill at wig styling! And due to his ability to do costuming in general, I kinda think he'd be able to do a good job on real hair as well if he wanted to.

I love the idea of Beel and Belphie being good at it because of Lilith. Like I'm imagining they only know some really basic styles that were her favorites, but they're happy to do them for you any time. Maybe they get a little misty eyed while doing it because it reminds them of her so much. Awww...

I actually think Lucifer would do a good job, too, but expect to be sitting around for hours because he's gonna make sure no hair is out of place. Only perfection will suffice.

I think Mammon probably mastered whatever style he needed for his dame outfit, but I do think he would learn for you if you wanted him to.

Satan probably already learned from a book or maybe just from watching Asmo doing his hair. But I could see him wanting to do really elaborate styles or maybe using magic to style your hair.

I think Solomon would also be someone you could try, but he would absolutely use magic. I think if you really wanted him to, he would know how to do simple styles by hand. I could see him being really happy to carefully braid your hair by hand. But he wouldn't be able to resist a little bit of magic, maybe to give it an extra sparkle or a streak of color~ I think he'd develop all kinds of hair styling magic if you wanted him to lol.

Diavolo strikes me as willing but perhaps not the best at this particular thing... he doesn't exactly have experience with his own hair.

And I'm not sure about Simeon. I feel like he's pretty competent (except for technology obviously), so he would probably be able to learn how to do it fairly easily. But I don't know if he'd already have some knowledge. Same with Raphael. Though I love the idea of both of them like... doing the hair of little angels~

Mephisto would know about a bunch of fancy Devildom styles, but would he be able to do them? I think you might end up with your hair braided like a horse's mane instead.

Thirteen would know how to do everything. She's got her own long hair and there's no way that she hasn't experimented with it over the years! I love the idea of her doing your hair and her own hair in the same style so you match.

Anyway, I hope you have been able to get some drawing done! Every other day is an excellent goal! I'm rooting for you!!

[strawberrijellyfish]

Let's be real for a quick second || Yap No. 2 ੭* ‧₊°

Being for real, I can't believe it's 2025 already. Like, hahaha, what do you mean I'm closer to being twenty than I am to being fifteen? Like what do you mean I'm becoming a senior?! That I have to soon worry about money, politics, jobs, rent, and all of that stuff. What to do you mean that I'll have to save up for a car, that I have to take driving lessons, that I'll have to learn how to set up my own credit card, my own insurance, my own debit card, my own--everything?!! Hello, like. Hahaha, I don't wanna do all that lowkey! I mean, I have to, and I will but just the realization that, hey I'm growing old kinda sucks! It kinds of gives me this, knawing feeling in my chest and makes me feel skitish. Of-course it has it's pros! Like everything else. Like, I get to go out to parties, hangout with my friends outside of school, drink alcohol, all of that but like, I don't know. obviously, life isn't it without it's struggles and responsibility (Responsibility? Omg Take Responsibility. Mouthwashing reference?!!) but it's just so terrifying to think about like hello? If everything goes wrong, I might just have to kick the bucket LOL. Joke, maybe, I don't really know. It's 3:14 in the morning and I guess it's the lack of sleep that's making me think this way but, if you told me 3 years ago that I was still alive, I would have not believed you to be honest. It's crazy, can I actually survive this? Can I actually live through my twenties? I don't know. Hopefully, turthfully, for all my kms jokes, I don't really feel like dying just yet. (Obviously, but yk) I wanna go out and get wasted! I wanna party and dance to the music until I pass out from exhaustion! I wanna have my first kiss! Hell, I wanna have sex!!!! Like. I don't know, I wanna have fun first before I die. It doesn't really matter to me if I die at like, 23 or 24 or 21. As long I had fun moments before that then it's kind of alright to me. Am I afraid of deathly scenarios? Kinda, yeah. Am I afraid of dying? No not really. Kinda crazy, right? I don't know, it's this weird feeling that I have. Sometimes I'd find myself curious on what death feels like and what comes after it, do I actually go to hell? to heaven? Do I reincarnate into--what, an animal? into someone else? Do I wake up in an alternative universe as myself before I make a life-changing decision? Do I wake up in a completely different universe with powers or magical creatures? Like My Hero, or Pokemon, or FairyTail or Inuyasha or whatever. Or do I just, stay in this Earth as some kind of Ghost, as some kind of spirit? I don't know, and that's what sometimes driving me insane. All of us have different beliefs on what happens after death and it's amazing yet scary. I don't wanna burn forever, that's a fate that terrifies me. A fear that will always be ingrained into me, as I was raised in a Catholic-Christian household. Do I believe in God? I honestly, feel conflicted about it. I feel, obligated to. With everyone telling me, y'know. Believe in God, he'll help you! So like, I kinda feel like I have to believe in him otherwise I'll just, I don't really know. Hahaha, I know no-one will really read this, but lowkey, the thought of just suddenly dying and having no-one to remember you unless you did something historically messed up or you do something historically heroic kind of fucks me up a bit. Like, haha, wdym I'm just going to disappear and be forgotten? That's the most--scariest shit ever in my opinion!! Because I'm not doing either of those things, that's for sure. As much as I want to play the aesthetic, cool-cute, baddass cunty main character, I just know--y'know I'm not going to be-- that historic or whatever. The 'Bringing back 2020' trend kind of made me realize that.

[onboardsorasora]

Danni!!! Okay of course first I am here to give you these 💐💐💐 because you deserve them for every single fic you write and especially for Reclamation!!! 🫶🏼 I was wondering if you could give a little peek into what happens after the ending! Not a full blown 10k work or anything but just some thoughts like…what is the wedding like? Where do they live after? Do they eventually have kids? Do sewis have kids? Anything else you wanna add! 🫶🏼

Oh Isabel thank you for thisssss!!!!🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 I had so much fun thinking of these! I could go on forever lmao. Here are some post Reclamation headcanons, I'll put them after the cut😅😅 I still can't believe its over🥹🥹🥹🥹

They get married at the Verstappen estate. Daniel wanted to elope so they didn't have to plan anything but Sophie insisted and called up Grace and they pulled rank. They have a garden party in the sprawling grounds. It's very classy. Isabella, Isaac, Luka and Lio are stinkin’ cute. 

Max and Daniel go off to fuck twice. The first time was handys after their first look (Charles reminded them that they’d have blowjob lips in all their pictures otherwise. Max thought that was a good idea, Jules vetoed). The second time they go to fuck is during the reception after the first dance because Daniel whispered in Max’s ear that he was wearing a special (and pretty) plug.

Daniel changes outfits three times because of course he would. His final late night reception party shirt was actually a tasteful pattern this time but if you looked closely (and only 3 people did) you’d see that the outline design was actually cocks with a ring on them 😊.

Carlos is there as a friend and Charles' date. They finally got together. Pierre is there with a new girlfriend. A different girl from the yacht party who was also a different girl from the engagement party. She's only in one group picture because no one trusts that she'll last longer than a few more weeks.

They live in the penthouse for a bit then they buy a house in the hills with a view of the city and the ocean. Daniel categorically will not move back into the estate and Max has no problems there. They get one more cat– a compromise because Max wanted a dog (since they now have a yard) and Daniel said no and sucked his dick so he'd stop bringing it up. This happens twice before Max actually does stop bringing it up because he doesn’t want to get pavloved into getting hard when thinking about dogs 🫣

They do have a daughter eventually, but like after a good while of just being married and having each other again. They have a lot of time to make up for!

Sewis absolutely has kids. They have three little gremlins! Twin girls and a sweet little boy. The middle daughter is soooo bossy like both her dads. She bosses Blake around and has him wrapped around her finger. She was the only one who didn’t cry when he first met her– she actually went to sleep, and that was during the colic phase so Sewis begged him to come over often since he seemed to be the only one to get her to rest. 

When Jules gets married, Daniel goes all out with the planning. Jules is exasperated as fuck but he lets Daniel have this because he knows his bestie is trying to ‘repay him’. Which they’ve spoken argued about but Daniel needs Jules to know how much he loves and appreciates him forever and ever til the end of time. They ended each wedding planning email with ‘fuck off’ and Jules’ said ‘fuck of please/respectfully/categorically/emphatically’. Daniel cackles each time.

Max and Daniel do not go off to fuck at Jules’ wedding. Not because of respect or anything so silly. But Daniel essentially made himself the wedding planner's assistant so he literally couldn’t step away. Charles laughed at Max’s grumblings. The wedding was gorgeous.

They still go to the cabin as often as possible. Daniel bought more land around it and they built another, bigger cabin so that the entire group plus spouses and all the kiddies can be comfortable. None of Pierre’s girlfriends have been to the cabin.

[obsessedwiththedragonprince]

Se4 ep5 thoughts

I am backk. Didn't really have time these last days but here i am.

As much as I'm interested in the main plot and Aaravos' era incoming, i first need to know what happened in the camp after architect put out the fire.

Honestly such a beautiful funeral? Simple and tranquil.

Rayla u can't come back after two years and act like nothing happened! I mean i know she says how much things changed but she really hurt him.

Our boy is cryingg. Random but we haven't really got an answer on whether she was unbanished? Also I need to see some Ethari. Like now.

I really like that even tho Soren is a comic relief most of the time, they didn't make him dumb.

I kinda don't get why Viren got so desperate to practically beg that creature? Only excuse i can find is his fascination and obsession with magic. Otherwise they just did it for comic relief I'm sure is coming. I just feel it. Building it up and then an anticlimactic 'surprise'.

Yep. There it is. Viren just being tired of their shit is so funny to me. He didn't ask to be brought back. Can't he just go back to being dead in peace?

I really liked Soren-Zubeia bonding moment. So cute?? And she appreciates his wit!

Ahhhh what happened with the elf??? From the camp? The arhitect is hurt okay but. Aaaa. Imagine just. Being him. And believing that your mother's spirit/soul is lost forever. I want answers! Also Amaya-Gren moments are always so wholesome i love them.

Dunno why but it's surprising to see Zubeia as an active figure. I feel like those in power are often shown as these really passive figures. Idk.

Lmaoo I'm loving these guardians/doormen or whatever they are. 'We accept your argument.'

Their guide is really givin me gollum vibes from Hobbit. Viren's exasperation continues.

'Infuriate him and...' 'You'll probably die.'

Love how Soren connects with everyone he spends two minutes with. I have a hunch which may be completely wrong but that this hole is the entrance?

We're back to the camp! Yayyy! Where. Is. The. Elf. That's literally all I'm asking for.

Soren being observant about people's emotions? Yes. Giving advice? I feel sth anticlimatic coming again. His lecturing reminded me of Zuko's silver sandwich.

Aren't they trying to lay low? A campfire? Really?

O.M.G. yes. It's not always just love trouble (even tho it's that also). Another PTSD moment. Honestly when he said 'You know, when he took over my whole body and used me like a puppet,' sounded like he was talking to every screenwriter ever. One of those posts on here or insta or just anywhere ranting about how there are consequences and ptsd after stuff like this.

Wish it lasted longer tho.

I kinda hope this lil dragon adopts Soren. He deserves his own animal companion.(did u notice everyone has one? Like Rayla has that monkey-y thingy which i shamefully forgot the name of, Ezran has Zym and regretfully passed Bait to Callum which not okay you can have two animals and share love equally?)

Oh Soren is captureddd. Myb thrown into the hole/may-be-entrance-hunch-thingy?

Do these drangons have like rattlesnake tail horns/antlers?

[woahjo]

tbh i'm also really curious about what all your answers might be to all those questions in the ask game if that's okay with you 😆 you have a very interesting and nice perspective (as i also see in your writing) that i am curious and want to know about your thoughts through those asks if that's fine :) (you don't have to if you think it's too much!)

this is SO SWEET!! i don't mind answering them at all!!! i'll try and do most of them, but im gonna pick my fav questions from the list <33 and ill put them below the cut. im so flattered actually that u wanna hear my answers to them what if i blushed...

What did you dream about last night?

OH FUCK i forgot i had this dream until i got halfway through the questions but last night i had a dream that i was at work but i was falling asleep during it. like could not keep my eyes open,.. and my manager messaged me on teams and she was like "we can see you doing nothing" but for some reason i just could not wake myself up. and then when i DID wake myself up in the dream i was like "bro something is wrong why does it feel like im still asleep. wake up!" and then i woke up and realized i was just dreaming. it scared me 😭

What is your favorite color?

i like yellow and orange!!!! but lately i have been on a bit of a light blue kick since this summer!!

Do you feel more connected to the moon or the sun?

this one is cute!! i think i feel more connected to the sun. i'm more comfortable during the day and tend to be in a better mood. plus i really like the way it feels on my skin <3

Have you ever wished on a shooting star?

a few times!!! i've seen some on the rare occasion i went camping, but i never really remember my wish long enough to know if it came true or not lol

What do you enjoy daydreaming about most?

god this is going to sound so corny but lately my fav daydream has been imagining that im winning my first emmy for an animated tv show. idk i just imagine the way it would feel to have my work and dreams recognized, getting to thank my parents and team and shit. corny corny i know but i love imagining it.

Do you believe in guardian angels?

i do, but in a nonreligious way! i won't go too deep into it, but i've had many dreams / experiences that preceded major life events that i can't explain otherwise. even without it, it's nice to think that there is something out there looking out for us. kinda like the universe has us in mind.

What is something (or someone) you’re in love with?

this one is hard!! i haven't been in romantic love with a person ever i don't think (mutually at least), but i am in love with my friends. i really truly believe i met them for a reason and i think i'm the luckiest person because they're in my life. i have so much love for them that i genuinely don't know what to do with it. my other love... and i say it so frequently... is writing and storytelling. it's the greatest love of my life, i know it.

What’s your ideal summer aesthetic?

linen clothes and dresses and flowy shorts and humidity and laying on the floor outside. unheated swimming pools, music from a speaker or the tv, friends laying out on towels. exploring cities and sweating and driving to the beach on a whim and sitting on the porch eating lunch. roadtrips along the coast with the windows down. yeah <3

Talk about something exciting or good that happened to you this year.

maybe not this year, but this summer, i spent a month traveling japan with one of my best friends.

Where do you feel most at home?

with my friends!!! always always always with my friends

What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

writing and creating things and making art!! i genuinely can't stop myself from doing it. i write and make things with the same urgency and feeling as eating or drinking water. i do it before i sleep and when i wake up and even just in my head constantly. it's corny, but it's a part of me and i genuinely can't live without it.

Do you believe dreams have meanings or are they completely random?

i've had some WILD dreams that absolutely have meaning. some of my dreams are totally random, but i think a lot of them are symbolic of things or feelings i'm experiencing. i had one that was so long and frightening and weirdly poetic that there's no way it couldn't have meant something. haven't quite figured it out yet tho LOL

Do you believe in love at first sight?

nope! i've definitely written about love at first sight, but i think that to really LOVE someone, you have to know them. that's one of the best parts about love.

What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

i've spoken about it before but when my dad had a brain bleed in may and was rushed for emergency surgery, my friends (and housemates at the time) emailed all of my professors for me, packed a lunch, packed my car with blankets and tissues, sat with me while i packed a bag with clothes, and drove me six hours one way so that i could be at home with my family. he ended up going into surgery while i was on the drive back home and the housemate driving me held my hand for hours while i waited for news that he was out. i'd never felt more held and loved than i did then and they are some of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me to this day.

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

i'm a taurus (with a leo moon and leo rising)!! and i absolutely think i fit the characteristics LOL

Are you more of a hopeless romantic or realist?

mmmm i'm not sure! i'd say hopeless romantic if i had to pick one, but not to the point that i don't know how the real world works. i don't like big gestures though, so im not sure if maybe that disqualifies me LOL. i just like the idea of eventually being known and loved for it.

What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

hold in, hold on by kid bloom!!!

Have you ever written a love letter?

nope!!!

Name a book you don’t mind reading over and over.

heaven by mieko kawakami. i could read it 800 times and never be sick of it. the lilith's brood trilogy is a close second, though i've only read it once so we'll have to test it. but i LOVE that series.

What do you do to feel at peace?

i write or draw!!! that's typically my first instinct when i need some quiet or some callie time. i feel very calm when i create.

[7ban-sama]

(I didn’t mean to insult your girlfriend I’m sorry 🙏) but I’ve thought about smthg… it’s so funny how parents in JSHK never care about their children

*chuffing* as long as you're sorry...

(for future reference: I don't really know how to engage in an ask saying 'I like [thing] more than [your favorite thing]'... I'd prefer it if instead we could talk about a subject on it's own, not in comparison to My Thing. I like Sumire plenty, she is quite pretty. But Nene is my favorite, like how all aspects of my ship are my favorite thing in this manga, & I don't really get anything from hearing about preferences that I don't have, stated at me — there's not really a 'discussion' to be had... bc there's not even a question being posed..? Anyways, hope that illuminates something.)

Oh you know, it's funny, I moreso get the impression that Iro-sensei isn't really interested in parents as characters... so we don't really get many instances of them being incredible caretakers. We definitely have a skew of, various cases of neglect, or (as I suspect for Teru's upbringing) physical abuse — but I wouldn't say that all of the parents are deadbeats lol.

I assume that Nene's home life is perfectly fine, as it doesn't seem to trouble her at all. Her parents are by her side on her first day of middle school (unlike the Yugi or Minamoto, more fraught cases) and Nene seems to be able to pursue her own hobbies, fill her room with things she likes, etc. It's not that owning lots of things means that parents are good, but combined with Nene showing no notable distress about home life, I think it's indicative of them being willing to accommodate her personal tastes. Mommy and daddy will buy you ghoul toys, give you shopping money to buy cute clothes, let you stay out after school and go to Tanabata, so on and so forth. I think of Nene's parents as loving in a... neutral? Way? I don't think they are going above and beyond for her, necessarily, but she seems to have had a normal childhood and expects nothing from them. I'm not sure if there's even any expectations on her wrt future careers. Which imo, would be to purposefully contrast the Yugi, who likely had a strenuous home life alongside expectations for Amane's impending science-focused future.

Ahh, I believe her, you know. It's her distinct swag. Normal girl swag. She has been a normal girl living a normal life until she meets Amane...

Nene's problems lie in her peer-to-peer relationships. She's not able to make many friends, and is seen as weird and eccentric. A bit homely, not alluring, which means her chances at romance are slim... Which troubles her, because she's romance obsessed and really really wants to be in a relationship. I always ah, think it says a lot, that Nene's fear manifested in the Hell of Mirrors is everyone laughing at her about how she is unattractive and no one will ever want her. That's... simply her greatest concern in life... Being attractive enough... Yk I really feel for her though, I know a lot of people would see it as shallow, but I respect that this is just how she is. She can't, ignore it-!! But yk, I also love the fact that Nene doesn't seem to think very hard about her family... It's interesting, because she's otherwise a considerate girl, who cares when innocent people are in harm's way. But ah... she still doesn't factor in her parents' misery at the thought of her never returning from the Far Shore? This decision is so interesting. While fraught families can leave characters with lasting complications, which we can explore deeply... I also am very interested in when an individual has 'no reason' to resent their family — and they don't! — but they also do not seem to care deeply about them. When push comes to shove, Nene is willing to sacrifice everything she has for Amane... which is, in reality, what really sets her apart. Her romanticism goes beyond what a 'normal person' would do.

It is, in reality, easier to leave people who have been cruel to you, than people who have never really done you wrong, because they don't 'deserve' that. Nene is an only child, what if she is valued and loved by her parents...? What if she's their pride and joy, what if she makes them very proud? Well, it just deosn't matter, anyways. Which is selfish, in a way... but I like that. It doesn't matter if you should care about your parents hard work. What if you just, don't-? In Bakeneko Ryokan, Nene is a fancy, extravagant breed of cat, and her owner clearly loved her, enough to name her 'Pretty-chan', enough to put out a flyer to find her after she went missing. But, ehm, Nene simply left... in search of hot guys, to fawn over her...... I think this probably sums up what's going on in canon lol. Loved child, but ultimately this can't take up space in her heart.

Moving on from Nene... Mitsuba's mom seems like a well-meaning woman, as well. I actually would bank on her being more thoughtful than Nene's parents, bc she at least was invested actively in Mitsuba's hobbies, and she was concerned about his friendlessness... They seem to have 'hung out' more. (Makes sense... if Mits had no friends ww...) And, perhaps Kou's mom was a caring sort (? more ambiguous though, he loved her but was very young, and the Minamoto family is complicated.) And then there's a point where, idk if we have enough information to really make a call about anyone, like. What are Akane's parents like...? Honestly, I'd assume neutral again, not terrible but not amazing, not note-worthy. I think a lot of things go into this category...

I just don't get the impression Iro-sensei really wants to linger on anything they don't have to, it really needs to be plot-relevant. Whiiich.... imo makes sense... bc Iro also seems to gravitate to young characters — sooner going to write out complex interactions happening between, 8yos, rather than full fledged adults. Since I also like young characters and dgaf about parents, I kinda get it lol. Parents are often like, something you need to figure out in a clinical sense. Often times I handwave things like, ehh they're just normal people who are fine with their kid but more hands off or whatever, etc etc, let's move on.

Maybe it's also bound to happen when you mostly care about writing romance... *strokes my chin* Which, again, same, relate. You don't really want to linger on platonic dynamics tooooo longgg.... Boring.

So yeah. I think of it more of a matter of preference and how much time is allotted to things in the story, not necessarily that all parents are supposed to suck. I think it is supposed to be distinct when someone has OK parents.

[algid-star]

Oh. My. GOD. okay so,

My burnt-out dumb ass, been working on sewing, and shared this hobby with a friend (who is cute). And like, yay! Friend! I love friends! Community! Love and support and appreciation! You can get all these and more from people with whom you are not romantic!

And she messages me fairly out of the blue, and we get to texting, and talking about hanging out and having craft time and hangouts. Body doubling! Do your own individual projects, but in a group as a fun friendship activity!

And so we go grab boba tea before craft time. And let me tell, you. Respectfully. I know people can dress for themselves and not for others to be leering at them. But also she was wearing the kind of dress I would wear if I were her if I wanted to send a signal loud and clear. Respectfully: the titties were out, and they looked amazing. ANYWAYS, BY THIS POINT I'M ALREADY PANICKING.

"Am I being too autistic about this?". I was genuinely looking forward to crafting together because I really wanted to finish up my muslin and check the fit because this is the first fitted garment I'm drafting myself and like, I'm just kinda excited to have that experience, but also share it with a friend who's also into this hobby?

But then idfk where my mind went. We got back to my place and talked about crafts and I showed her around, but then before it was craft time she had to show me something on the sofa, and then we just talked for hours. And slowly got more and more subtly cuddly. Intertwined legs to watch something on a cell phone, when we easily could have chromecasted the video to the big TV in front of us.

As I'm saying this right now, in retrospect, I don't know how I was not clear in my reception of these signals. But also that's important for the story later. Because. BECAUSE, eventually our faces got a little close and she got flustered and at THIS point I felt confidently clear. And I just smiled and asked, "what?".

"Oh, I just. We just got really close there."

"yeah, we did." just a big teasing smile, with rizz.

After more flustered, I say, "listen, I play by vampire rules. I need an explicit invitation. If there's something you want, you need to tell me clearly. Otherwise I will not push."

"well, okay WAIT, well what are YOU feeling, what do you want?"

"I really like all this cuddling. And I also think maybe kissing could be really fun, too."

She agreed. AND AAAAAHHHH.

I am still buzzing. Can you believe that there are people who actually believe that consent can't be sexy? I bratted/teased/dommed my way into sexy kissy bitey time with a lovely and cute and wonderful woman by simply DEMANDING explicit consent.

And the only thing that ever held me back in this kind of interaction has been all the bullshit expectations of how I should behave as a "man", and now that I accept myself as non-binary, I just have to be ME, and that's enough. I don't need to put on a masking performance in order to start a physical or romantic relationship. If something happens, dope. If not, now I'm friends with yet another amazing and talented and beautiful woman. Woe is me, all of my friends are dope as fuck. How will I ever cope. (that's sarcasm).

Anyways, this was a big firehouse of feelings. Idk if any of it makes any sense. It's nearly 2am (she stayed until we noticed it was midnight and we have work in the morning) and I'm exhausted, so maybe I can't keep a train of thought.

But the fact that my dumbass autistic self was SO GENUINELY STOKED for craft time with friends, and then, only then when I have zero expectations, does such a magically wonderful experience happen.

[knwbetter]

day 5 since we last talked: i've definitely been thinking of him today. there were moments where he entered my mind and face would grimace in pain. i missed him still a lot today. i miss talking to him, i miss his presence, i miss our banters and subtle flirting that we had every day. i miss when he so clearly wanted to talk to me every day... he would bombard me with messages, i don't have that anymore and i miss him so much. i want him back so bad even if that's probably not the best idea. i really thought we had a connection especially when he first mentioned that he had the same situation as me growing up. he seemed really intrigued by me from the start. he would make the effort to talk to me every day and i did the same as time went by bc i felt like we had a connection going on. he seemed genuinely interested in what i was into that he ended up watching the films i love and the games i love. how could he spend all the time for me when in reality he wasn't into me? i'll never be able to wrap my head around it. i'd never waste all that time on someone i didn't like, it's just crazy behavior. was he just bored and found me easy? it's hard to believe in anything he's said to me now, i don't think i trust him. but at the same time, i still want to talk to him. i feel like i'm expecting him to text me again out of the blue. it doesn't seem likely tho. i still can't believe he played with my feelings. i don't think i've done anything to deserve it tbh. what was his intentions when he talked to me? i've always wondered about that ever since the beginning. it felt like he had some kind of intention with the way he was talking to me which was probably why i felt so guarded. he was overly familiar and trusting too in the beginning which made me feel so uncomfortable bc i didn't know who tf this person was. slowly but surely tho he made me open up to him. i did notice tho that when i shared small tidbits of myself that he didn't ask for, he didn't acknowledge them. that hurt my feelings tbh bc i rarely share something like that and knowing that he simply ignored it definitely hurt me. after that i told myself i wouldn't share much of myself unless he asked. he did ask a lot about me but that was it, only interested in what he wanted to know about me. i must say, he was interested in a lot but in the end i didn't know what he wanted from me.

around two weeks of talking he told me i was a joy to talk to. even said he's become pretty comfortable with me. and a bunch of other flirting with me but idk any of that was real which hurts. now he can't even be bothered to talk to me, when old him would text me about anything. did i do something wrong? was i too ugly for him? after reassuring me countless times too that i was perfect and that he already likes me for who i am. i didn't believe him of course bc how could you say that without seeing someone's physical appearance? well as you would have it, he started acting off after i showed him my picture. he even said that he'd obviously like to see me in person first before entering a relationship but could say yes for now, even if he already saw what i looked like. and prior to saying this, he said that i was definitely his. so what is what honestly? he made me more confused and i was super hurt ngl. i might've been stupid to bring that up but i wanted to know what his intentions were and if he was serious about me, otherwise i didn't want any of this fake shit. we'd just be wasting time, feelings, and effort for each other. yes it was fun but i don't want it if it isn't going to go anywhere.

i yelped a few times whenever i thought about him today. i couldn't believe i was that open and vulnerable with him. i also cringed at myself for my behavior with him, i didn't know i could be like that with someone. i had the hugest urge to pull up our chat and text him. how would that make me look tho? desperate and needy, when he probably doesn't even want me like that. it hurts! we were cute but he had to ruin it. i really thought he had a pure heart from how he presented himself to me. he was so sweet and patient with me and i thought it was too good to be true. and it really was. it's like i just imagined the whole thing. like none of it was real or that it happened. now i'm super curious what he wanted from me. i guess he wasn't the person he pained himself to be. god, i really fell for that act? oh he's good, lemme tell you. i really felt that he was genuine and usually i'm pretty wary around people and go super analysis mode on them. i guess i misjudged him hard, i was probably blinded by how much i liked him. which is so funny to think about bc i was annoyed at him in the beginning and felt that he was cringe. anyway yea, i still missed him a lot today even if i shouldn't be. i need to think of the way he treated me last and think if i really want to be with someone like that. he should've at least communicated that he didn't like me that way. i remember we agreed on communicating and talking it out is the best and i told him i was glad we were on the same page. i guess i was worried about it for a reason. turns out he's not the best at communicating. he's not the person i thought he was. i honestly thought he was mature enough to talk about these things like proper adults but nope. he still has a lot of growing up to do. i felt sad a lot today whenever i thought of him. plus why does every damn thing have to remind me of him? from tv series to music like give me a fucking break.

[templeofshame]

did you ever get around to fully finishing stranger things? what did you think of the ending? love hearing your Thots and Onions lol

To be honest my friend and I are waiting on the second half of the s4 finale until s5 is out.  Yeah, that's weird, but I know most of what happens and it's mostly a bumner, so we haven't felt motivated to finish after she fell asleep mid-ep, and we got into Yellowjackets instead.

I do still have opinions though...

like I think Mike sucks this season and I don't buy him and El this season; they were so cute in the beginning but now they're all performative, lies and superheroes and I'm not sure he even sees her as a person, it's Very Important that El has people who care about her as a person and not as a magical deus ex machina. I do know he's gonna say he loves her like 6 times, I'm sure he believes it, I don't buy it.

I also feel like this season has a plot about trauma/survivor's guilt (via vecna/victims) and abuse (via el and a bit max) and I'm not sure very thoughtful about what it's saying about them. Forcing El to go work with her abuser, Max grieving hers, the relationship between Max and Nancy and El and others in terms of survivor's guilt... these are super complex interesting things that get barely touched on. And with Chrissy's apparent trauma seeming relatively mundane compared to what literally every major character has been through (and I forget what Patrick's is, is his name Patrick?), vecna's choices seem kinda weak. Maybe he says something in the second half but I'd rather them have all been dealing with survivor's guilt specifically.

I felt like the guitar scene was anticlimactic and weird for how much buildup eddie the guitarist had, and the plan seemed kinda bad? I guess it's harder for me to say how things should work though because the rules of the Upside Down have substantially changed since s1, like in this Upside Down Will and Barb could've just hid in someone's house with barely any tentacles, there seem to be lots of safe places.

What else... I think Jason was more worried about people thinking Chrissy was cheating on him than Chrissy's death. I think the jock death mob has vibes of that hyena episode of Buffy, and overall I think we could have a lot less of them (I like Lucas being caught in the middle but otherwise they're uninteresting). I wish Eddie was a little less musical theatre in that first scene, it just felt like he was in a totally different show than anyone else (possibly Rent, or Glee). The issues for Nancy & Jonathan feel very contrived and the show trying to throw Steve at Nancy is just annoying. There was no logical reason for her to date him twice, let again another time. Also could've done with less Hopper torture porn, like we get that it sucks. Similarly with the bullying, it's so over the top that it took me out of things rather than really hitting me. I think I've posted already about how the characterization of Robin changed so much and while she has great lines, it doesn't feel like her (and like is it because we know she's a lesbian now that she can't be snarky coolgirl anymore and has to be dorky mess?).

The positives! Love Argyle. The scenes with Will & Mike and Will & Jonathan are lovely heartstring pulls, so well done. (Will deserves better than Mike, but he's young and stupid so). I don't overall love how separate everyone is this season but for that setup, love the whole pizza freezer thing. I love Murray, I love Joyce&Hopper (even though irl I would 100% tell her not to touch a man with that much assault history with a 10-ft pole). Lucas finally gets material to work with and his acting has gotten so good! Running Up That Hill is obviously a great song. I am biased by fic but after that initial scene, I like Eddie and his face. I love the humor.

I'm probably forgetting a lot! I'm sure I'll be bummed about how only Dustin and Wayne seem to care about Eddie's death, and how much of the season was about protecting him just to have him die anyway. I'm sure I'll be annoyed they don't kill vecna. I'm sure I'll be worried about Max.

[catherinnn]

How do we always end up like this? part 1

Eddie Munson x cheerleader!reader

part two is already up! link in the end.

Y/n is a cheerleader and is dating one of the basketball players in Hawkins High, but everything she built starts to fall apart when she's paired to do a project with the freak Eddie Munson.

warnings: menstions of sex and little bit of smut (not that much though), cursing, cheating, my English.

a/n: I can't stop thinking about Eddie and I can't stop talking about Eddie dating a cheerleader and making everyone mad, so here you have another one of Eddie x cheerleader because there are never too many of these.

“With that freak?!” Jason asked with a horrified look on his face.

Y/n was having lunch with her friends, and her boyfriend Tom. They were all cheerleaders or players in the basketball team.

She started to hang out with all of them when she became a cheerleader, otherwise they wouldn’t even look at her. But it wasn’t all that bad now, Tom was pretty hot and some of the girls were actually really nice, like Chrissy. She was Jason’s girlfriend.

“Yeah, can you believe it?” her boyfriend answered him. They were just talking about a project she had to do for history class, the professor had assigned the partners for said project, and she was paired up with Eddie Munson. That’s why Jason screamed and why her boyfriend was complaining.

“I pity you Y/n, and if he does or says something weird to you, we’ll take care of it” Jason said.

“I’m sure I’ll be just fine, but thanks anyway” she said. She didn’t really believed he was a demoniac freak like her friends did.

After school she went to her house with Eddie, her parents were working late today so she seized the opportunity to start on the project with him. And they were doing a good job, better than she thought they would. He loses interest often but she knew how to bring his attention back to the topic.

“Alright, I think we’re good for today” she said.

“Yes please, I need a break”

“Oh c’mon, I wasn’t that hard on you, was I?”

“If I answer wrongly will you punish me?” he joked.

“Oh shut up” she laughed.

“It wasn’t you, it’s just that I hardly ever study so it’s all too much at once”

“Yeah I forgot you are the bad boy who gets bad grades, I’ll go easy on you next time”

“It’s fine, I came prepared for a difficult afternoon but you’re not that bad Y/n”

“Why?! What do you think I am?” she said surprised.

“Nah, that’s the thing, you’re not like I’d thought you’d be like” he said looking at her like he was studying her.

“How did you think I’d be like?” she asked looking at him like he was.

“Just… mean and bitchy like all of your other friends are” he responded mockingly, not to her, but to the people she hung out with.

“You know… You’re not like I had thought you’d be like either. You’re not like they say you are”

“A leader of a cult and a freak?”

She laughed.

“I just thought you’d be tougher and –I don’t know, not half as funny and cute like you actually are” she said and immediately after she realised what she called him.

Cute?! It really just slipped from her. She wasn’t wrong obviously and she didn’t take it back but she couldn’t be flirting with another boy when she had a boyfriend.

Eddie must have realised she didn’t think that sentence through and instead she just talked, must have been for the look on her face after she said it or the way she blushed and closed her mouth before saying something else. It was very amusing, he thought.

“So you think I’m cute?” he teased “I’d prefer hot or handsome, but if you say so sweetheart, I’ll believe you”

The grin he had on his face at that moment made her very frustrated. That fucking grin.

“Ok back to the project” she sat straight again looking at the book in front of her, looking at anything else but him. “We don’t have much left so I think in two or three days we can finish it”

“Don’t try to change the subject now” he sat closer to her, “and don’t get all shy on me, no need to be”

He was so close to her and she didn’t want to push him away, she looked into eyes and the rest of his face, he really was hot and handsome too. She couldn’t bring herself to move away, to stop staring at him. If anything she wanted him closer, she wanted to touch his hair, his cheeks. She wondered how his lips would feel against hers. And part of her knew she shouldn’t, but the other part won.

She leaned into him quickly and kissed him. His lips felt soft and warm against hers, and she loved it. She put her hands on his long and messy hair, she loved that too. He put his hands on her waist bringing her even closer, and they kept kissing. She had never felt like that when she kissed Tom, or anyone else for that matter. Oh no, Tom.

She broke the kiss suddenly, she thought about what she just did and she thought about Tom, she started to feel very guilty.

Eddie realised this when he opened his eyes again. He knew she had a boyfriend but he also knew Tom was an idiot who didn’t treat her right, so he didn’t feel very guilty, but he did worry about her, how she would react to this.

She stood up and avoided his gaze.

“I –um, we’re finished here… and I have things to do so” she said.

“Y/n—“ he started but she interrupted him.

“Please?” she whispered, not even looking at him, not even saying his name, she couldn’t.

“Yeah, sure” he sighed.

After he left she thought she would feel better but she didn’t, she actually didn’t know how to feel. She had a boyfriend but that kiss –him—it just made her so confused because she didn’t want to stop it, she wanted to kiss him again. But she and Tom were so good together, they just made sense, the cheerleader with the basketball player, just how it should be.

A week had passed after their kiss, Y/n kept ignoring Eddie and she kept dating Tom, she obviously didn’t say anything to him, that would just make him want to beat up Eddie, more than he naturally wanted, but he would have an excuse now.

Eddie on the other hand, kept staring at her during lunch and the classes they had together, only wanting her to look at him for more than just a second. He had a plan though, they had to finish their project at some point, right?

So he came up to her when she was leaving cheerleading practise, it was getting dark outside and he had also just finished playing D&D with the hellfire club.

“My dear dear Y/n, how are you?” he asked.

“Hi Eddie” she sighed and turned to him. It had been a week, she had to talk to him again at some point.

“Oh, how lovely to hear your voice again. It’s getting dark and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to walk back home with all the stranger things that happen here in Hawkins, so I thought that I should be a gentlemen and drive you home, maybe finish our project even”

She thought about it for a minute. It was getting dark and she was tired and sweaty for her practise, and he was right, they still had their project to finish.

“My parents are home today so I don’t think it would be the quietest place to work in” she answered.

“We can go to my place then” he wasn’t going to take a no for an answer.

“I still have to shower—“

“I have a shower” he interrupted her.

“I don’t have clothes at your—“

“I have clothes and I can be a very good friend and give you some”

Friend? right.

“I can’t say no, can I?”

“I’d prefer that you wouldn’t”

“Alright fine” she finally said.

They drove all the way to his trailer and she got into the shower while he started to look for some clean clothes to give her. He found another hellfire shirt, he thought she would look adorable in one and he picked out some sweatpants for her too.

When she came out of the shower she got dressed with the shirt Eddie gave her but she kept her shorts, they weren’t covered with sweat so she went with those.

“I’d give you one of my boxers so you wouldn’t have to wear the same panties but I don’t think you’ll take them” he joked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry” she didn’t want to think about his boxers and how they would look on him and neither did she want him to think about her in her panties. “We still have work to do, so let’s get started”

They were nearly finished with it after a few hours, but they decided to leave it for another day, they were starting to get hungry and very tired.

They ordered some pizza, Y/n actually thought about leaving and going home but she was having fun with Eddie, he made laugh so much and made her forget about her problems, actually he made her forget about everything else, even having a boyfriend.

“I never played your game, I don’t even know how it works” she responded to one of his questions, they were sitting on his couch –almost laying down on it—and eating.

“I could teach you how to play if you teach me how to use your pompoms and do your dances” he teased her.

“Why would you want to use my pompoms?” she laughed.

“It seems kind of fun” he got up and stoop in front, “you could teach me how to do the…” he finished that sentence moving his arms like he was holding the pompoms and moving them like a cheerleader. “And you could also teach me how to do all the jumping and shit”

She couldn’t stop laughing.

“It’s called a routine, not a dance or jumps and shit” she corrected him.

“Yeah that” he was grinning because she was still laughing, and he was right, she did look adorable with his shirt on. He laid on the couch next to her, very close and facing her. She turned to face him too.

“And you would teach me how to play your game?” she asked.

“I’d be honoured but isn’t it a demonic game to you?”

“Says who?” she asks.

“Your boyfriend and his friends” he answers.

“For what it’s worth, I never thought it was” she said starting to play with the shirt he had on, just moving the end around her finger. “Neither did I think you were a freak or that you were in a cult”

“You didn’t?” he asked looking right at her.

“And I also don’t care about what my boyfriend and his friends say”

“Oh really?” he asked leaning his face closer to hers.

How did they always end up like this?

She nodded slowly, looking at him too.

“You look beautiful with my shirt on” he says.

“Kiss me” she breathes.

And he does.

He grabs her face with one hand and the other is on her waist. She moves hers form his chest to his neck.

They kiss passionately, they stop thinking about her boyfriend, or their project, they just think about each other, and how good they feel together.

He moves on top of her and she puts her legs around his waist. They keep kissing with her hands on his hair and his on her waist and hip, stroking her skin.

They let moans and groans out into their kiss. He kisses her neck and she puts her hands under his shirt touching his torso.

They keep kissing, touching and rubbing against each other for a long time until she falls back to reality.

She’s at Eddie Munson’s house with his shirt on and him on top of her kissing and touching her.

And Eddie is not her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is at his house doing whatever. And the worst part is, she couldn’t care less about what he was doing.

“Wait, stop” she says slowly and quietly. But he hears her.

He sits up and looks at her, scared of what’s coming next.

“It’s late I should go back home” she says a little scared he is going to be mad at her.

“Oh, yeah sure” he responds, “but um, are we going to be ok after this?”

“Eddie I—“

“I know you have a boyfriend Y/n, but I don’t think you like him that much, I mean you wouln’t kiss me if you liked him” he interrupts her.

“No, I know—“

“But what worries me the most is if you’re going back to ignoring me for another week until we finish the project and never speak to me again. Because I’ve liked you for so long now, and you’re making me crazy in a good and a bad way, both” he interrupts her again.

“Eddie would you let me talk?” she asks and he nods “I’m not going to ignore you again, I’m sorry I did but it was all too much, I was cheating on my boyfriend, I still am, and I never thought I’d do something like that. But you, you make so crazy too, I can’t think straight when I’m with you and I love that feeling. I love how you make me feel” she confesses, “I just need a little time so I can figure out what to do”

“I understand, but does that mean that we’ll stop whatever it is that we are doing? Because I really don’t think I can now” he says and starts kissing her cheek and down to her neck again.

“I don’t think I can either, and honestly, I don’t think I want to” she tells him “there’re a lot of other things I want to do to you and a lot of other things I want you to do to me”

She smiles and kisses him. He groans into the kiss just thinking about what she said.

“But for now can you take me home before my parents think I went missing?” she asks him.

“What if I just kidnap you?” he says and goes back to kissing her.

“You’d confirm everyone that you are in fact a freak and a psychopath” she joked.

“I don’t care”

“Take me home please?”

“Ok”