#Also i have never experienced male attention that felt validating/good and not vaguely threatening
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amarenacherriezzz · 3 months ago
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I used to crave validation so bad when i was younger, especially from men, because i felt ugly and unlovable and unworthy. I'm so glad I'm growing out of that mindset and am finally treating myself the way i should have from the start. Let's be honest, there is no amount of love another person can pour into you that will ever feel like enough if you keep constantly draining your cup by hating yourself. Nowadays outside validation just feels like a little extra boost.
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tinytony-snack · 6 years ago
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The perfect name
Tony was so not pleased. In fact, he was the least satisfied man in the entire universe, and he totally blamed Steve for that. His boyfriend knew that Tony was in a unique status and he needed more attention than anybody else, all his urges to be satisfied, and all his wishes to be granted. He tried to calm down, and to think only about the most positive effects of his situation. While looking at himself in the mirror, examining the freshly trimmed goatee, he caressed absently his big and round maternity belly. He didn’t think he was fat, because he wasn’t, and that was probably the first time he admitted it to himself. He wouldn’t have said it out loud of course, or he should have stopped whining. His Peanut was almost ready to be born, one another good point of being pregnant, together with a shinier and smoother skin, and the undivided attention of all the people who gathered around. Most of them used to think he had to be helped to do everything, since he was almost nine months pregnant. At the start of the pregnancy, Tony hated everyone who had dared to think he had become suddenly incapable to take care of himself... More than usual. Then, he experienced extreme tiredness, unexpected irritation and he found very satisfying looking at people do things for him: it was like he was in command again. After Pepper became CEO of his company, and since Steve was the Captain of the Avengers, all that remained to him were insubordinate bots and a sassy A.I. Sadly, on that particular day his beautiful look and the thought of his Peanut safe inside him weren’t enough to cheer him up. That morning, he decided to pick up again the project to find a name for the baby. They knew it was a boy. He could never have waited to know the sex, and even if Steve had been initially quite interested those gender reveal baby shower, Tony already knew the only curiosity that could ever have competed with his own belonged to his mate. He would have always called the baby ‘Peanut’ in his mind, but the little creature needed a real name. Tony tried for weeks to convince Steve that they were famous enough to choose an extravagant name, but eventually the baby wasn’t even the size of a peanut anymore. And he wasn’t really as much frivolous as he used to show, maybe just an 80% of it. Revising all the names he and Steve chose during the past months, he asked JARVIS to elaborate the data to examine different names that were still comparable to their favorite ones, and among all the choices he read ‘Godfrey’. That name was immediately wiped out from the hologram slide, but for some reason, it remained stuck in his mind. When he understood the cause, he had to take a nice long bath in order to keep calm. Godfrey vaguely sounded like coffee, the nectar of the gods – even though they didn’t have coffee on Asgard – that he wasn’t allowed to drink anymore. They said he would have gotten used to not drinking it anymore, but those people didn’t know that Tony’s body was made up for the 60% of that brown, hot, delicious beverage. People like Steve, and, well, Rhodey, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, JARVIS, that Omega girl at the reception of S.I… It surely was a long list, but only one of them had promised to take care of him in every way possible. And Steve made him swear off caffeine. The father of his baby, his life mate, his Alpha. Made. Him. Swear off. Tony finished to dress and stomped to the kitchen of the Tower’s common floor. He decided long time ago to use the common floor, not only because the rest of the Avengers gathered around there, but also because he had a valid excuse to walk. It didn’t matter that most of the time he had Steve carry him all the way down. Anyway, that particular morning he wanted to make everybody hear his unhappy, heavy steps. “Morning, sweet Omega,” Natasha greeted him, waving her cup of tea. Tony loved when she called him sweet Omega, it made him scrunch his nose and feeling a warm sensation in the chest. Nat had always been the coolest, after him, and if she had been less scary, taller, more muscular, blonde, and… Well, male, she would have been just his type. Anyway, that morning he didn’t feel sweet at all. So, he went straight behind his Alpha, he put both hands on the hips and he showed himself as angry and irremovable as possible. At least, that was what he thought he looked from the outside. If asked to the two Alphas in the room, they would have said that Tony looked like a tiny and pouty ball of frustration, with the cutest fluffy head. Steve turned around in that moment, with the biggest smile on his face, that it rapidly became a furrowed expression. “We need to talk,” Tony announced. “Everything’s okay?” Steve asked surprised, already looking down at his belly. “No Steve, everything’s not okay. And you know it,” He growled, waving both hands in the air. Not a single Alpha in his life had ever stopped him from growling, he wasn’t scared to deal with any kind of person. Steve’s hand was soon on his abdomen, and he was frowning. “Is the baby fine? Did anything happen while I was running? JARVIS didn’t tell me any-” He spoke quickly, already worrying so much. It wasn’t fair: Steve entered in his worried and very hot dad mode, which was still kind of new for Tony to refrain from instantly melting. It also meant that he could have been able to effortlessly obtain an extra dose of cuddles and a massage. He had to shake his head to keep his thoughts in order. “The baby’s fine,” He reassured, and Steve’s body relaxed. “But I’m not, Steve, I’m carrying around a pretty big responsibility here, my back is aching and you weren’t there when I woke up- I know that you need your morning routine as much as I need my lab’s hours, and your scent was still on the bed so I didn’t really feel alone or bad, but, uhm, but, my point is… I - I’m rabbling.” He sighed loudly. “I love to hear you ramble, Omega.” Steve offered, starting to gently pet his hair. Tony looked into his mate’s eyes, which were adoring and fantastic as always. Them alone were enough to made him feel loved and cared, the most important person in Steve’s world. And he was distracting again, but how could he not, when the Alpha’s big hands were one on his belly and one through his hair. His head had been his weakest spot for a long time, but it wasn’t the only significant anymore. “I want coffee, Steve,” He blurted, much less firm than he would have wanted. The fact was, he was trying really hard not to melt in the touch and purring out load. “I really need it, and I - uh, I - had JARVIS buy a new coffee machine earlier” He wanted to cover his mouth as soon as he spoke. He wasn’t supposed to tell that! He was supposed to stand up and fight for his rights! “You what?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. They looked each other in the eyes, then the Alpha sighed in disapproval and closed his eyes for few seconds. “Oh Tony, we discussed it so many times. You can’t have it, it ain’t healthy for the baby, and for you either” His words sounded tired, and maybe that was because the argument came up once a month, at least. But Tony didn’t want to focus on those pointless details. The Omega didn’t really like that ‘you can’t have it’, because if he needed something, he would obtain it, no ifs or buts. He glared at the Alpha with his chin up. “I can and I will, Rogers! You’ll see,” Tony threaten harshly. Then he moved to pick his favorite mug from the shelf, the one with Captain America’s shield on it that always made Steve smile, but the real Captain moved faster and stole it before Tony had the chance to catch it. “Omega, no,” Steve used his Alpha’s voice, the one that had made Tony’s legs tremble since the first time he heard it. “You can’t stop me,” He growled again. He had no intention to give up. The rational Tony, who knew that he had to resist the urge to drink something bad for his Peanut, was suffering from withdrawal and wasn’t able to think clearly. The Omega tried to take the mug off Steve’s hand, but the bastard lifted his arm too high for his height, so he started to whine and to complaining as they moved around the kitchen like children who were playing tag. Only slower, because Tony was still very pregnant, and Steve didn’t want him to be hurt. In the meantime, Natasha had just pointed her phone’s camera one them, very discreetly. Any time was a good time to get blackmailing and compromising material on his friends. Suddenly, Tony stopped. His eyes were fixed in Steve’s, burning with rage and anger, the same emotions that were motivating him to stay up. He extended one arm behind himself and opened his palm. “Send me Mark 47’s gauntlet J. I have an Alpha to blast,” He commanded, with a guttural growl. They were only wasting energy, energies that he didn’t have, because Steve didn’t allow him to drink his fucking coffee. “Fine,” Steve finally said, opening his arms exasperated. Tony’s eyes went from the Alpha to his mug and backwards, warily. He had different tactics to win a fight of course and annoying his enemy as much as possible was one of his favorites, together with talking until they felt disoriented. But he also knew better, and Steve Rogers never surrendered so easily, neither in the battleground nor in his everyday life. Especially not with Tony. “You can have all the coffee you want, if you’ll pick up the mug,” He added, with a smirk. Then, he put the mug on the floor at Tony’s feet and he crossed his arms, after he returned straight, as to state how much of a little shit he was. His gaze never left Tony’s fuming face. There was a chuckle from Natasha, and an outraged gasp from Tony, whose mouth dropped open. “You... didn’t just do that,” Tony hesitated, mouth pulling down into a frown. “I think I did,” Steve pointed out cheekily. “Don’t want it anymore?” “You put - You put -” Tony looked down, looking so hurt that Steve almost went down again to get back the mug. Almost. “Irritating Alpha, you know I can’t bend over!” Tony cried. “Is this the kind of respect you have for the father of your son?” He waved his hands like crazy. It would have been adorable, if he wasn’t getting so angry. “What’s happening?” Clint’s head popped up behind the door. He seemed confused, but one look at the bickering couple and at the mug on the floor were enough to understand the situation. “Uh,” He sat near Natasha, but on the table. Clint valued his life to interfere, but it didn’t mean just observing would have been less fun. “Oh, I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Tony snapped, pulling out his Starkphone. He wasn’t going to lose or changing his mind that time. Perhaps he already forgot his withdrawal from caffeine, but there still was his pride at stake. He couldn’t believe his Alpha would have left him die of thirst… Or worse, that he mocked him about his pregnancy. He saw Steve raising a questioning eyebrow. He probably had that look on his face more times since Tony became pregnant, than in all his life. The Omega knew his pregnancy wasn’t the quietest of all, exactly the opposite: he was having a lot of pregnancy cravings, and half of the times Steve provided him with the food he desired, he ended up rejecting it because of a bad smell or a sudden change of heart. Then, the hormones, ugh. If they were on a date and he saw any kind of puppies, tears would fill his eyes even in the middle of the street. He went crazy when someone said they weren’t watching WALL-E for the 18th times, and he forgot his anger just a moment later, when Steve started telling stories to their baby. Given the circumstances, his mate didn’t deserve his current outburst, but it was too hard to control his emotions. “Who are you calling?” Steve asked suspiciously. When he ignored the Alpha, also turning on another side, he felt his own skin burning. Steve hated when his Omega pretended, his Alpha’s instincts required full attention. “I bet he’s calling Colonel Rhodes to give you one of his shovel talks” Clint joked, even if that would have been a realistic situation. “That would be the third one. This month only” Considered Natasha, without even trying to hide the amusement note in her voice. “Hey miss Potts, why you didn’t answer by the first ring? I don’t care that you were on a meeting, listen to me - Yes, you aren’t my assistant anymore, but that doesn’t mean - No, I can’t tell you what I want, because you won’t let me finish talking!” There were screaming on both sides of the line, as usual. “I need Jason Momoa’s number. Steve and I didn’t have any fight, why would you think - Listen Pep, light of my life, I need his number, please just do me a favor? But I am asking nicely - Because I wanna raise my child with him!” He blurted it out with a high-pitched voice. And that was the real moment when things turned bad. Or very, very good. Steve roared from the depths of his throat, and Tony could have sworn that the whole Tower trembled by the power of that sound. Natasha and Clint chose to leave in that moment, covered by the sound of the Starkphone hitting the floor. Tony barely had time to realize what was happening, that he had Steve on him, and his strong scent all around him. He felt his mouth dry and his eyes spreading. “What have you just said, my Omega?” Steve asked in a husky voice, the words roughened at the end. The next growl reverberated through the Alpha’s chest and made his entire body shivered in expectation. Tony started to say he hadn’t really meant it, that it was just his silly pregnant self speaking, but then Steve’s teeth landed on his neck, over his bonding mark, over his heart beat, digging in enough to make him gasp. Nothing made him feel as defenseless as his Alpha’s possessiveness. “You threatened me to raise our son with another man? Another Alpha?” Steve roared the words on his ear, and the he held his breath when the Alpha put a possessive hand at the back of his neck, the eyes sliding dark blue. Tony really tried to find the correct answer, but it didn’t exist, there wasn’t anything right to say at that point. He screwed up, he freaked out instead of reflecting and then his head became too fuzzy to actually think. He opened the mouth and closed it right after, because he would have just made things worse. Steve was watching him like he was the most inviting prey, knowing Tony didn’t have any way out. The Omega wasn’t scared of him, he was hyper conscious of Steve’s power and aroused by it, but never terrified. The Alpha acting so jealous was another proof of their wonderful love, and Tony never loved so much to be an Omega. So many things changed since they had met. He spent almost all his life being adamant about not being matched, fighting all the Omegas’ stereotypes, revolutionizing the way they were seen, rejecting every Alphas and Betas’ bullshits. He was considered the living example of thriving, successful Omega who fulfilled himself without a mate. When he met Captain America and they started living in the same place, he didn’t want Steve to act like an Alpha, also detesting being called Omega by him. And still, he had been such a good man to him… Instead of talking, he did what any Omega in love would do: started looking up at him halfway through his eyelashes, tilted his head to side, showing his neck where Steve put his mark when he claimed him, and purred low in his throat until the Alpha growled deeply. “That’s right Tony,” Steve breathed the words into his mate’s neck, praising him with soft kisses and small bites up to the soft spot behind his hear. “You’re so good like this sweetheart, so pretty. Sweet, perfect and submissive for me, aren’t you?” Tony moaned sweetly, wrapping both arms around Steve’s neck and pulling him closer, feeling instantly very pleased. The irritation that usually flooded him after being exposed in that way never brushed him, because it was his Alpha, and as Omega all his instincts were irrationally screaming that the Alpha would have done everything if he was submissive enough… “I’m sorry - I’m sorry Steve, Alpha,” He cried in another sudden change of heart, then stood on his toes to kiss him lovingly with a touch of anxiety. Steve promptly hugged him tightly, paying attention to his strength to not hurt Tony and the baby. Always so caring, his Alpha. “I’m all yours, we are - Alpha, I need -” And as the demanding Omega he actually was, he needed much more than kisses. Fuck, he needed his mate to put both hands low on his ass to pull him up and pin him against a wall, then leave love bites on his exposed skin, ripping off his pants and pressing a knee between his legs, so he would have been blocked, and panting, and desperate. “I’ve got you love” Steve’s words were full of wicked promises that made him whimper out load. They crushed their mouth together in a hard kiss that muffled every sound for a long minute, and when Tony’s leg went around Steve’s waist, the Alpha automatically helped him resting his leg up there, pressing a hand under his thigh. The Omega’s purring echoed in the room, and he got his fingers tangled in Steve’s blonde hair, tugging enough to make the Alpha groan. When Steve pulled away just enough to bit at his bottom lip, his mouth fell open on a sigh, letting his mate shoving his tongue past his lips again, to taste him selfishly. It was becoming hard to breath, even more when Steve’s other hand slid under his sweater and it settled on his belly. That gesture alone was enough to made Tony melt trustfully against him. He had an Alpha, and he was about to give birth to their first, beautiful, perfect son. “B-back to bed” Tony could barely talk, and he slurred his word in the lowest voice. Steve let go of his leg, but he continued to hold him with a firm arm around his waist and Tony was very relieved to share his own weight. After all, he hadn’t mated a super soldier for nothing. Then they pressed their foreheads together, Tony still mewling and moaning slightly, out of breath, Steve with the warmest gaze and fondest smile. “I’ve a better idea,” Steve started, and his smile became a grin. He pressed one fingertip under Tony’s chin to made him lift his head up, their lips separated just by an inch. “One that will put your sweet mouth to better use” Tony moaned again, stirring like a kitten against Steve’s muscled body, so soft and firm at the same. The Alpha also had the best scent: Tony’ sense of smell was badly affected by the whole maternity thing, but his Alpha’s scent just got better day after day. Thrilled by Steve’s possible idea, he dotted kissed long his jawline, growling happily and making his mate chuckling. Everybody thought he had the cutest growl and it was true, either when he was upset or delighted. He only hoped that the idea wouldn’t have required himself on his knees, because frankly, that would have been beyond his current physical abilities. But he would’ve totally agreed to lie down on the bed, both Steve and him on one side, his hot mouth wrapped around the Alpha’s big cock- Steve picked him up effortlessly, both arms under his knees and his back, and for once Tony didn’t complain at all. He always had a thing for Steve’s show of strength. “Oh Steve, you know I wasn’t serious before, right? You are such a good Alpha to me, the best, and you will be a great dad, and - and -” He was switching from talking to kissing, touches light as butterflies. “And - You are putting me on a chair. Why are you putting me on a chair, honey? I, well, I’m still very flexible but this position seems excessive also - mmpff” /> Steve indeed put his Omega on a chair, one protective hand swirled over his belly, then shut him up with a long, deep kiss. Steve proved many times that his tongue alone was able to make Tony speechless, in more than one way, and places. “Because,” Steve chanted, moving towards the kitchen, leaving behind a pretty aroused and confused Omega. “I’m making you breakfast, you haven’t eaten yet. What kind of Alpha would I be if I didn’t feed my mate before bringing him back to bed? To rest, of course” Tony’s mouth fell open as he stared at Steve’s back, who first scooped the forgotten mug and Starkphone up off the floor, then he totally focused on heating the waffle machine. Then, the Omega started to babble and to stutter words, glaring at his mate who answered docilly, patronizing him just to keep him quiet and get him to eat. “Hey Stevie, Tony. What dat waffle did ya?” Bucky showed up some time later, finding his best friend sipping milk, sat next to his Omega, who was stabbing an innocent waffle. Steve gave him a lopsided grin, while Tony murmured something, stuffing more food in his mouth. Bucky recognized the words “cruel Alpha”, “troll” and a swear - Not a very bad one, they had been banished since Tony was seven months pregnant. “It reminded him that he’s pregnant, he has to avoid certain things and he can’t call Jason Momoa. Otherwise, this waffle will take him to the hospital and ask the doctor to put him on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy” “Hate that doctor. He do’s anythin’ Cap tells him” Tony grumbled, and Steve nodded with proud. “’s just a scared little sh-” Steve let out a cough, disapproving the poor choice of words, stopping him. He had a point anyway: Steve hadn’t exactly been polite to Tony’s gynecologist at first, or to the nursing staff, even if they had chosen only Betas. He hated leaving his Omega in someone else’s care and he snapped all around without control. The gynecologist had to sit down with Steve and let him know with extreme precision and caution the next steps he would have done with Tony, until the Alpha regained his senses. Then, he gave everyone his golden boy smile, flexed the biceps – he didn’t, but that’s what Tony used to say – and made his excuses with the biggest puppy dog eyes. At that point, it was Tony’s turn to get jealous. Bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed, mouth set in an unimpressed line. “I’ll just pretend to understand and that ya gonna be totally normal parents for Peter” “For whom?” Steve asked absently, his eyes remained fix on the grumpy Omega. “Uh, your future child? Peanut, Tony’s excuse to make us do what he wants whenever he wants. Seriously Stevie, what’s going on?” The corner of Tony’s mouth quirked up in a satisfied grin, before he really thought about Bucky’s word. “You said Peter,” Steve pointed out. “No, I didn’t. Why the he- Why would I say dat?” An angry glare from Steve made him rephrase the question. “I dunno, maybe you were just-” “Oh my god,” Tony exhaled, before Steve had a chance to finish his sentence. His eyes widened as he glanced at Bucky, then he found his mate’s gaze and his mouth opened in the most stunning smile he had, the one that created little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. “We got it,” He managed to say through a soft whisper. He felt too overwhelmed by happiness and his voice broke into a cry when he repeated the words: “We- We got it” He saw Steve’s pupils flaring, his lips parting a little when he understood what Tony was saying. “You like the name?” He asked, voice full of hope. “Oh, Alpha. I love the name,” He announced while throwing himself at Steve, as much as his big belly allowed him, without lifting up from the chair. Steve turned to catch him instinctively, and he circled his body with both arms, hugging tightly. Tears filled the Omega’s eyes, but he hid them burying his face in Steve’s neck and hugging back with the same strength. “We’re having a Peter then?” Bucky asked, getting closer to the happy couple. “Yes!” Tony squeaked, at the same time as Steve asked, “We?” with a smug grin painted on his lips, never letting go of his Omega. “Yeah, we. He already changed our lives and he isn't even born yet. Dat child will have secret agents, spies, a god, super soldiers and men with the greatest minds of the century as family, and still, he’ll hold all of us right there in the palm of his small hand. I already see ya both: the softest dads, head over heels in love with a baby that’ll have Tony’s genius and your ability for gettin’ into trouble.”
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