yeah no i’m still not here, i just scheduled this to post after a good chunk of people watch episode seven. i haven’t seen it yet. i have no idea what happened and that means this doesn’t count as a spoiler.
but i am assuming something off the walls happened or that it ended on a cliffhanger again (or maybe both at the same time) and that’s why i drew this. yeah this was done four days ago. i’m smart cookie
i’m assuming it came out already. kinda just guessing at this point
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Understanding in 1x02 vs 4x03:
*deep breath*
Early on, this is what Shiv sees:
This is what she doesn’t see:
Kendall is cornered into talking about the business. Wordlessly, gently threatened into it when he said he didn’t want to right now. Gerri and Karl aren't in mourning. They are doing their jobs, and they’re testing him to see if he can do his. If he said no and walked away, the company would be taken out of family control, Logan would be furious, and he'd lose out on his dream forever.
Shiv sees none of that happen, and Kendall doesn't even tell her about it- maybe because he thinks she wouldn't listen, maybe because she said she thinks he’s weak already, or maybe because he just almost never defends himself in general. But she can’t see his perspective without knowing what happened.
The lack of understanding between them results in this disaster:
She thinks he’s being cold by talking to the nominating committee, but we see how he really feels. He just always turns to reason and order in times of crisis and she doesn’t really know that.
He has not forgotten this conversation or Shiv’s perception of him here. He doesn’t want that:
Shiv’s been inside Waystar now. She knows now that talking business for a minute during a dark time doesn’t mean you don’t care. In fact, she did it while Kendall was confessing his worst moment, but it didn’t mean she loves him less. She knows him better now and has seen that he’s anything but emotionless. No one criticizes him for turning to reason and order this time. They ask for it.
No matter what happens, he won’t forget this nice conversation either. He won’t forget that his siblings finally see him the way he’s always hoped they would: as the big brother who can make hard decisions in seemingly impossible moments. He’s the one who can shepherd them through it. There’s trust there now and they finally know how it feels. The door will be open for togetherness now, even if it looks like it might close for a while. It’s not that they changed as people, it’s that they’ve learned how to read each other.
Not seeing each other’s perspectives led to having to be alone:
Now, it seems, even though they will struggle for a while, they have an understanding.
🤍
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bnha manga spoilers!!!!!
EEEEEEEEE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
his hair!!!!!!!!!!!!! his fucking HAIR!!!!!!!!! i just AAAAH i cannot get over it because !!!!! that is exactly how i picture touya-nii’s hair to look 🥹🥹🥹 just down/undone n fluffy n shaggy n soft <333
anyway i am sickly in love with him, i’m not surprised to see what he actually looks like after the war, but the fact that he’s still got his eyes makes me think that his blue irises must be so stark and vivid and just pop against the rest of his injured body—which makes me both swoon and sad, because goddamn you’d recognize those eyes anywhere, the very moment your gaze meets his…but enji still didn’t, not even when he first came face to face with them, not until they were thrust in his face and screaming at him ._.
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You know what makes me weirdly happy? Is the fact that there is a solid likelihood that if I had written in a question to one of Benedick Hobbes’s Q&As, and used my real first name, and he (or IRL, the Candle Wasters) picked my question, Ben would have been able to pronounce my name without my having to include a pronunciation guide.
(I, an Irish American, have had to teach people how to say my name for my entire life. My name is also an Irish Gaelic word, which has an equivalent word in Scottish Gaelic that’s the same with some extra letters on the end. There appears to be enough overlap between Irish, Scottish, and English people who’d recognize the word, so that there’s a nonzero chance that an English-Scottish character played by a Scottish actor could nail the pronunciation even if he did move to NZ/Aotearoa at a young age. I love my name, and I don’t judge anyone for not finding it easy to pronounce from written, but I also love it when people say my name correctly on the first try. It’s always a delightful surprise. Headcanoning that he would say it right and think it was a cool name.)
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okay but what happens after andrew confirms that yes he has indeed been courting neil f o r e v e r? like what is neil's reaction 👁️👁️
@ myself: wow haha this got angsty
I know I’m in a fluffy mood but I needed to sit down and really think about this (mind maps and random thought association and all) and it is not great at first! Neil’s immediate reaction, I mean 😭
First, here’s Andrew’s side of the thing for your reading pleasure
And I don’t know how to write Abram’s pov in scene form because it’s so like. Heartbreaking insane in my head. Yes, first there’s 100% this thought process (that’s supposed to be slightly comical but became not that, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for this to happen) thank you @jtl-fics for the comments I’ve screenshotted from this post:
Second: he begins to feel incredibly guilty that he’s taking this from someone that’s infinitely much more deserving, whoever that is, as long as it’s not him. He was ready for Andrew to find someone he actually deserves. Now he feels like he’s ‘tricked’ Andrew into developing feelings for him, like Abram is a persona that isn’t real enough for Andrew to fall for but he’s tricked him anyway.
Third: Abram is an extension of Andrew’s resources. He’s still an attack dog but one that’s been re-homed, allowed to be much less violent and treated with respect and care that he can accept even if it doesn’t always feel deserved. Abram keeps a dagger at his hip to protect himself, Andrew keeps Abram. When Andrew asks “not what,” it’s something like I’m not that, I’m not an option, I am not even close enough to touch. There is no Abram, there is nothing here for you to love. You can’t. But even if there isn’t, Abram doesn’t need to be a person in that way for Andrew to handle him, use him, however he wants to.
That’s when Abram calms down, I think. That’s something he knows. He’s repressed his own feelings for Andrew so deep that he’d take it, too, he really would let Andrew use him if he wanted to. And it would be the best thing that ever happened to him. He thinks if Andrew is so certain he wants Abram this way, he can be perfect. Abram can be perfect for him, he’s determined to be.
(But that’s a thought process that comes on so quickly and so fully that Abram’s brain actually does let go of his personhood again. This time, though, with no one telling him to attack, he tries instead to be whatever he thinks Andrew wants. So - compliant and receptive.
This is not what Andrew wants.)
But after Abram takes his time away, talking to both Allison and Katelyn about it (they’re both really helpful in their own distinct ways) he understands that Andrew really meant it - he wants Abram as a person that he’s able to have, he wants Abram’s personality and his words and the parts of him he can’t control. Maybe Abram doesn’t even fully realize the scope of his own feelings before accepting the courtship, this time with a clear head and almost shaking with nerves but with a different kind of certainty that Andrew actually does accept. It takes a long time and a lot of assurance but Andrew is patient, until Abram will return gifts and gestures of affection. It actually does so so much to help Abram reclaim his humanity, seeing newly familiar behaviors directed at him with real intention.
Thank you for the ask, this was a point I felt was important to figure out for a while and this prompted me to get around to it! Probably not what you imagined but i uhhh. Sorry 🤧
(Curious? Find a small masterpost of this royal au here 💕)
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