#and you keep fighting to DEFEND the thing you won (if you won).
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martyrbat · 5 months ago
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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oodlenoodleroodle · 3 months ago
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tfw you listen to a Finnish podcast by some sort of academic middle class people, and one of the guests just completely calmly starts citing the ideas and ideologies of the most famous eco-fascist of the country, and neither of the hosts nor the other guest say anything about it
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mental-space-x · 5 months ago
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Gratitude Diary
It has been a good week despite my stress. It’s been good to get away from the island for a while and despite the amount of money it cost and the car not making it across on the boat, I think it’s something I should and would like to do more often. That was actually part of the plan with getting the car MOT’d. I’m grateful that: The trial went head, I handled myself well, and despite not

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heartlogan · 3 months ago
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all coming back to me
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✼— logan x f!reader (set in x-men days of future past)
✼— summary: logan didn’t realise you would be here in the past. all that follows.
✼— a/n: first time writing for logan / the xmen films, be gentle pls. also wrote this in like 20 mins at 1am so kindness pls. ok goodnight.
✼— warnings: character death, major character death, (mentioned mostly, not the most graphic depictions), logan’s relentless guilt, reader’s insensitive curiosity, muddled timeline maybe idk, mutant reader (unmentioned power) , kind of abrupt ending , lmk if there’s more!
MASTERLIST
✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶
When Logan had realised he was the only viable candidate to do this job, he had felt the immense weight on his shoulders, had known that he had no choice but to succeed. He had been prepared for that part, mostly. But even still, the plan was sudden, and he hadn’t thought most things through. After all, Logan was more of a fight now, think later type of guy.
So waking up in some random woman’s waterbed was unexpected, yes, but even more unexpected was the bone cutting through his skin when he had to face those goons. It had been so long since the adamantium had been melded to his skeleton, that he could almost forget it hadn’t always been that way. If it weren’t for the pain that still haunted his every nightmare, that was.
It was an adjustment, definitely, especially because it had been so long since he hadn’t felt completely indestructible — untouchable. There was no metal safety net, here.
Seeing Xavier’s school falling apart was certainly an adjustment, too.
He had known this school only in its prime, when Charles had already formed the X-Men, had already settled many kids into their new home. Logan couldn’t ever imagine this place being so devoid of life.
“Can I help you?” A young man asked, after a few silent moments of Logan waiting for the door to be answered. He sounded vaguely familiar.
“Uh
 yeah, what happened to the school?” Logan asked, eyebrows raised as his eyes trailed over the vines crawling up the building, the dust coating the glass.
The man’s eyebrows furrowed, looking at Logan strangely before he decided to speak. “The school’s been shut for years. Are you a parent?”
Logan scoffed. “I sure as hell hope not. Who are you?”
“I’m Hank. Hank McCoy. I look after the house now.”
He’s doing a great job at that, Logan thought to himself, surveying the damaged grounds, before he clocked on to what the man had introduced himself as. He squinted at the small stature of the guy, half hidden by the door he was pressing himself into the gap of.
“You’re Beast? Look at you,” Logan commented idly, “Guess you’re a late bloomer.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hank warned, features hardening instantly at the name he hadn’t heard for a long time. “But I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
The man started closing the door in Logan’s face, not expecting him to shove himself against it, keeping it open. They strained, muscles tensing on both sides, before Logan inevitably won without Hank’s extra strength that accompanied his transformation.
“Where’s the professor?”
“There’s no professor here.” Hank responded, before Logan soon managed to shove the door open, flinging him back.
“Professor!” Logan yelled into the empty house, hearing his voice rebound off of the walls. The echoing made him uncomfortable, and seeing the house that had been destroyed so long ago in his time was odd. It was familiar, and yet so different. Logan wasn’t sure he could ever get used to the empty manor, despite his many complaints about the kids at the school.
The moment Logan began to ascend the stairs of the manor, Hank leapt at him, freshly transformed. Logan was momentarily shocked by the appearance of his blue fur, but he quickly got over it, defending himself from Hank’s admittedly rather weak attack. The Beast managed to stun him, tackling him onto a table in the middle of the foyer, while the blue man hung from the chandelier above.
“Hank?” A voice called out, confused and slightly concerned. “What’s going on here?” He asked, descending the stairs and squinting down at the vaguely familiar man on top of his table.
“Professor?” Logan asked, surprised, sitting up on the table to make sure he was seeing things right.
“He doesn’t like to be called that.” A new voice said, coming from Logan’s left, and he startled, head whipping towards where you were standing. You were leant against the doorway, arms folded across your chest as you watched the situation unfold with unhidden entertainment.
His heart practically stops.
He hadn’t seen you for almost three years. Three very long, very difficult years.
Logan didn’t even want to think about the last time he had seen you. It had been one of the worst days of his life to date, and he’d had a lot of bad days. And yet, here you were, alive. Trying to tamp down your amusement, though it was written clearly on your face, evident in the slight curve of a smile that he had missed.
“You know this guy?” Hank asked Charles, who made his way down the rest of the stairs while Logan only continued to stare at you.
Charles looked at Logan with a vague sense of recognition. “Yeah, he looks slightly familiar.” He commented distantly, already appearing completely checked out of the situation. “Get off the bloody chandelier, Hank.”
The sound of the glass above him clinking together brought Logan to his senses, reminded him that he had a job to do. And no matter how much he had missed you, your presence couldn’t get in the way of that.
“You can walk.” Logan stated, checking back into the conversation with shock still darting down his spine. He watched the Professor carefully, brows furrowed in thought.
“And you’re perceptive.” Charles replied dryly, “Which makes it slightly perplexing that you missed our sign on the way in. This is private property, my friend. I’m going to have to ask him to ask you to leave.” He said, nodding towards Hank who stared between the two men as if watching some sort of tennis match. He looked uncomfortable with the confrontation occurring. “Or her, if you’re more inclined.”
You raised your brows.
✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶
Logan didn’t end up leaving, much to your surprise. It had been a long time since anyone had managed to get Charles to do anything he didn’t want to do. Hell, it had been a long time since anyone had managed to speak to the man, save for you and Hank. He turned everybody away, never heard anyone out, no matter how desperate they sounded.
Instead, Charles seemed to accept the fact that this man was from the future. A future which sounded dire, by the way.
And if his glance towards you when he had spoken about watching good people, friends, die, told you anything, it was that you didn’t make it very far in the future. Which didn’t faze you all too much. It didn’t sound like much of a future for those who lived, anyway. But that knowledge had taught you something about this Logan. He had cared for you, some years from now.
It was as clear as day. He looked at you like he had been missing you, like he was greeting you at the airport after a long trip. He seemed to think he was being discreet about it, always glancing away when you turned to him, but you were observant.
You sidled up next to him while Hank went on the hunt for the phone book, and Charles wandered off to regret his decision.
“So, how’d I die?” You asked, feeling bad but also slightly amused when Logan practically choked on air.
“What? How did you—”
“Oh, please. It’s all over your face. I may not know you, but I can see that much.” You responded, cutting him off and watching the cogs turn in his head.
You had always had a strange way of reading him better than anyone else. Not that this version of you knew that, but Logan did. It made his chest ache all the more, feeling like you were so close to being in his grasp, and yet so far away from him. He had to remind himself that you didn’t know him, and he didn’t exactly know this version of you.
You seemed
 not happier, exactly, but something was different. Perhaps you had suffered less at this point in your life. He had met you in one of the most difficult times you had ever been through, and it was strange to see you without the baggage that had followed you from that.
“I’m that transparent, huh?” He replied, going quiet soon after. He didn’t want to talk about this with you. With anyone. He didn’t want to relive that moment any more than he already did. He saw it every time he closed his eyes, every time the Sentinels had approached in the future.
“You are.” You paused. “So? What happened?”
“You don’t want to know about this, kid.” Logan stated, pointedly not looking at you. You were so young now, and he missed the lines on your face. This wasn’t the you that he knew or loved. He didn’t know this version of you. And you certainly didn’t know him.
Logan had the fate of the world resting on his shoulders, the fate of every mutant and human who had the decency to be kind towards them. Your fate. The fate of everyone else he had lost. He couldn’t get caught up in this, in seeing you here, as much as he wanted to soak in the sound of your voice, the colour of your eyes, the glow of your skin.
“Why not? We’re going to save the world anyway. It can’t hurt.” You said innocently, regretting the latter part of your statement the moment you realised how it came across, how Logan’s face creased.
He wanted to appreciate your optimism, mostly because he knew how much of it you had lost by the time you died, but you couldn’t understand. It did hurt. Logan had watched you die in front of his very eyes, his adamantium and courage powerless to stop it. He had been dragged back to the jet, forced to leave your body there to rot, or to be taken and experimented on. He didn’t know which was worse.
Even now, he could feel the pressure on his chest from Storm pushing against him, the pain of Magneto pulling at his skeleton, forcing him to leave you behind.
He swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat, eyes flickered across the room, never quite landing on you. It hurt him every day. He could feel the weight of your loss even now, knowing that if he failed to do this, you were lost. This version of you, the one who had so much suffering to come, would die at the hands of a Sentinel, and he would be powerless to stop it.
“Sorry,” You said, when the silence stretched on, Logan seemingly getting lost in his own thoughts. You could see the pain written across his face, could see him getting distant, reliving whatever had happened in the future. “That was insensitive. I was curious, but it doesn’t matter. You’re here to save us all. And I’m here to help this time.”
He finally looked at you, and you could see the exhaustion on his face. Perhaps putting more pressure on him wasn’t the best idea.
“Okay, I’m messing this up,” You admittedly, fidgeting nervously now, eyes flickering between him and the door as if expecting Charles or Hank to walk in on you embarrassing yourself. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no,” Logan paused, apparently trying to find his words. “You don’t need t’be sorry. None of this is your fault.”
You looked at him, seeing him more clearly then. You didn’t know his past, and you certainly didn’t know the future, but this man cared about you. That much was obvious. “It’s not yours either, you know.” You said, and the slight grimace he made didn’t escape you. He clearly didn’t agree. “However we know each other in the future, it can’t change the fact that I am an adult. I would never expect you to take responsibility for me dying. Or want you to! I take care of myself.”
He blinked at you. “We were meant to take care of each other.”
You faltered slightly at that, struggling to imagine yourself relying on someone that much, but then you understood.
“Isn’t that what you’re doing now? You’re here, fifty years into the past, trying to make things right. The war wasn’t your fault, Logan.”
Despite knowing that was true, it still didn’t quite dislodge the guilt that pulsed in his chest. He felt more vulnerable here, without his adamantium. With your prying eyes. Even now, it appeared that you saw him in a way nobody else ever could.
“You know what? This might be totally inappropriate, but
” You trailed off, and he had just opened his mouth to question you when suddenly you were wrapping your arms around his neck, squeezing him close in a way that finally let him breathe again.
His hands hung idly by his sides for a few moments, before finally wrapping around you, holding you tight. He seemed as though he may never let you go, but you could understand that. Logan was in pain, and it seemed that despite your slight uncertainty, this had been a good path to go down. Taking care of one another, or something like that, right?
A heavy sigh left his chest, and you squeezed him tighter, letting out a short breath into his neck. You only pulled away when you heard Hank’s footsteps creaking on the aged floorboards, heading your way. Logan let you go, with much reluctance, but you lingered. Your arm brushed against his jacket.
If Hank noticed anything, he didn’t say a word, simply holding up the phone book victoriously. You glanced at Logan, watching the creases slowly come back to his face as he was reminded of his burden once more. You leaned against him the slightest bit, and pretended not to notice him glance at you.
This would all work out, you were certain of it. And if it didn’t, well, at the very least there was something to look forward to in that bleak future. Logan seemed worth the pain.
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madwomansapologist · 8 months ago
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Hi, are you still looking for Baldur's Gate 3 requests? Could you please write something about the main BG3 Companions (+ our boi Halsin) with a Tav/reader who's really short and adorable and just an absolute sweetheart but is horrifyingly powerful in their lore? Like NPCs who know about them back away in fear kinda thing. Maybe Tav can even transform into some sort of battle form where they're like 9 feet tall (as opposed to their usual height of like 4' 10") and can absolutely kick ass on the battlefield?
Thanks so much, I hope you have a wonderful day! Take care!
bg3 companions with a adorably powerful tav
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Navigation | More Weirdos | AO3
synopsis: Who could imagine such a sweet thing as you had the reputation of a hero?
warnings: companions (lae'zel, shadowheart, astarion, gale dekarios, wyll ravengard, karlach, halsin, jaheira) x tav. fluff.
note: thank you for your request! oh gods how i missed writing headcanons. i hope you like this, have a wonderful day!
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Lae'zel
Lae'zel knew your shared condition had a cure, and was willing to put herself in danger by taking the entire party with her to the nearest crĂšche. That being said, how couldn't she judge you?
You were too easy on everyone. Making promises you clearly shouldn't, taking them seriously despite her best efforts to put some sense in your head. The party was supposed to only stop walking when surrounded by githyankis, but no burdened tiefling or hurt animal escaped your careful gaze.
That you knew how to fight surprised her, but to see fear and admiration in the eyes of civillians... that made Lae'zel pay more attention to you. You had a reputation. Not as a writer, bard or patron. You're know for striking down your enemies.
Fighting at the goblin's camp, there were so many oponents even Lae'zel didn't knew if it would be her last fight. You saw it too, so you made sure to use everything you had to win. Even if you would rather not turn into an eldritch creature.
She got enchanted by your battle form. Steel and iron where nothing against the pure strenght of your skin. Whatever crossed your path that day suffered at your hands.
That was the first time Lae'zel got happy for being wrong about someone.
"Perhaps I've judged you too hard. You are fierce, foracious, as sharp as my sword and as brave as a red dragon. Keep on surprising me and a istik you'll be no more."
Shadowheart
Shadowheart couldn't care less about the tieflings and their problems, but it was endearing to watch you wandering throught the Coast in an attempt to ensure their safety. It was a sight she couldn't expect to observe in this journey, not when considering the worm twitching behind her eye and the artifact messing with their dreams.
Still, you could shut down her biggest fears with ease. While she tried to remain quiet, you were full of kind words to share with whoever was near. You care for all beings, great and small, and Shadowheart can respect that. A person without a truth to follow is empty, but one with a mission turns into so much more than just a walking corpse.
She focused on protecting you during fights. Always giving you some sort of magic shield, casting sanctuary, begging you to drink potions and elixirs that would keep you safe.
Goblins attacked, and for a second everyone was too surprised to react properly. Except by you. You were quick to defend your party, to fight for them, and won a fight no one was preparad to.
Shadowheart decided not to underestimate you again. Kind words, gentle actions, caring gaze: she was so focused on her own view about you that forgot to pay attention to the way everyone else saw you.
You're powerful. The kinda of powerful that their party had to be grateful that you were fighting besides them.
When you revealed your beast form to her, Shadowheart already knew you were a sight to behold.
"You are full of surprises, aren't you? Good. I like how you keep me on my toes, love."
Astarion
In theory, he should've been delighted with your personality. You were the perfect prey. A leader so sweet, he could change your mind at his will and you wouldn't even noticed. Others respect you. Astarion would be safe and sound.
But Astarion isn't capable of forgetting how easily you fought back when he tried to fool you. How he didn't even saw you moving, and was alone on the floor before he could understand what had hit him.
Instead of a person, you were a walking question mark. How can you be so sickenly adorable, and still so ready to strike down your enemies? Were did the sweet half of you finished and the other one started?
People know you. He saw respect in druid's eyes, fear when goblins heard your name. Halsin knew about you. And so did Minthara.
Few are able to live up to their reputation, but you're one of those. So strong, so brave, but your kindness wasn't ignored by him. It was as if in your head the whole world deserved your kindness, until it did no more. Only then you react.
Astarion don't know what to think about it.
When you attacked as a beast, tearing spiders apart as if they were a piece of meat in your plate, Astarion laughed until his belly ache.
How could be so right and so wrong about someone?
"Don't mind me, darling. I'm just rejoicing at the sight of your bloody hands. Come here. Let me taste your heroic mess."
Gale Dekarios
Gale learned two things about you when you pulled him out of stone: you were kind, and so damn strong.
You were adorable. A perfect equation between what people must do in order to survive and what they must do in order to live well. He can't see you not being surrounded by friends and admirers, all enchanted by your sweet words and rightful attacks.
He feared the party's reaction to the Orb, but a part of him knew you would let him stay. He never imagined you would give him magic artifacts without a second question, or that you would hug him after he told you his whole story.
You didn't let him go. Neither did Gale.
To say he was willing to agree with whatever you did was to say his heart beats. It was only natural. Maybe you both differ on the path you want to take, but the destination is usually the same.
When he saw you feral, body changing to give space to something else, Gale wondered if he was one of those enchanted people surrounding you. If he wasn't fighting for his life, Gale would gadly gaze upon you for the rest of the day.
"Disgusted? I was unable to look away from you! You are the one I love, no claws or tentacles will ever change that. Must I add, my love, your light remains strong in whatever form you decide to use."
Wyll Ravengard
To say the least, he's a fan. Oh, how lovely are the tales of your adventures through FaĂȘrun. He remember arguing with bards about the accuracy of their versions and the reason behind their choice of words. You were what a hero must aim to.
How long were the nights he spend wandering after he was casted out of Baldur's Gate. Lonely nights, but never silent. Wyll's mind fought against itself. He lost everything to help and protect others. Sometimes he worried if he had lost himself too.
Your tales weren't his salvation. None of them shut down those voices that insisted on telling him about the mistakes he made, neither did them shut Mizora. But they inspired him. If you did all those things, remained human even as a beast, he could survive a talkative cambion. Wyll Ravengard can defeat her by staying loyal to himself.
Wyll didn't had to hear your name to know you were fighting next to him, defending the grove against goblins and worgs. He saw enough drawings of you to recognize you from miles afar. When you asked him to be a member of your party, Wyll felt as if a million fireworks exploded inside his chest at the same time.
He did felt anger and pain because of the tadpole, but never fear. Fighting beside you, Wyll knew he didn't had to fear for his future. And after seeing how willing you were to argue with multiple cambions, he started to have hope.
"I used to read about legends, myths of bravery and rightousness. Some see it as just tales for the naive. Thank you, my heart. For proving them wrong time after time."
Karlach
She's the only one with an excuse for not knowing who you are. When strangers call you by your entire name, when companions use your epithet: Karlach just never thought about it. She ignored it, paying no mind to others.
But Karlach did knew you were a absolute sweetheart. What you didn't had of height you compensate with a gigantic personality. For her, the way you behaved was simply alluring.
While many prefer to think the world is a bad place and no one living there can chose to be or do better, you are just another reason for her to know that it's bullshit. Because Karlach is good, despise it all. And Wyll. And you.
And Minsc!!!
You had a fire on you whenever you had to fight. She didn't need to know your story to see how great you can be. Some people just have that. She don't know if that fire is born or forged, but some people just have it.
To see you as a beast made her the most happy woman in FaĂȘrun. She got speechless, all she could do was laugh and run around to have a better view of you ending the Steel Watch.
"You got 'em, soldier! Go on, bite his arm off! You see that monster over there? The one with glowing eyes. That's the love of my fucking life."
Halsin
He saw you before. Druids and harpist fought against sharrans, and you were one of the heroes who joined their cause. At that time Halsin didn't talked to you, but he knew you fought until the very end and stayed to help with the infirm.
When you rescued him, Halsin knew you remembered him too. There was some understanding between you both, a companionship that only those who foght together can share.
He knew you were a hero, one of those who fight wars that don't affect them because someone needs too, but your personality was a good surprise. Halsin haven't imagined you so easy going. Always offering smiles, light jokes, being clumsy without a care when danger was far away.
After the battle against sharrans, he thought those who refered to you as a monster were trying to make others understand how eficient you were. It surprised him to see they were just being honest.
Nothing would stop Halsin from turning into a bear and joining you.
"In this damned city, you are a beacon of hope. The Oak Father graced us with your light. From your fiece strikes to your honey soaked words... I am lucky to live at the same time as you, my love."
Jaheira
As a fellow adventurer, it surprised Jaheira that you weren't already tired. You both lived for so long, did so much, it would be only natural for you to give a pause on your endless smiles and envied patience. She was wrong, but that wasn't a bad thing.
Jaheira knew how this life can steal things from you. Peace feels like a threat, to stop make you feel like a prey, to laugh makes you wonder if it will be the last time. Is impossible to be a hero without losing. She's glad you didn't lose yourself in your path.
There was an unspoken pact between you both. The stories, the songs, the faux memories. So many think to know everything about you two. Sometimes Jaheira will read you a book you're in when she knows it's a shameless lie, and you sing her songs about adventures she did not lived.
Your laugh could make her feel younger. Alive. You both were so differents, but knew each other in a way few could.
Whenever you chose to strike as a monster, she would join you as a myrmidon and had her fun. You both deserve it.
"I did well not underestimating you, cub. It is impossible not to laugh at those who can't see how your bright smile hides sharp fangs. As pretty as a diamond, and as fierce too."
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if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
BALDUR’S GATE 3 TAGLIST: @citrusbunnies
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
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girlgenius1111 · 8 months ago
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i always know what you need
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Alexia x R [soft and sweet] smut 18+ after a rough game, and a result you blamed on yourself, you ask Alexia to punish you. she has other ideas.
huge thank you to @occasionallyaurora for the inspiration 🙃
------
If there was one thing Alexia wished she could change about you, it would be your insistence to blame every bad result for the team on yourself. Granted, you did miss the penalty that would have won the game. And the goal scored by the other team had kind of been your fault. But it was an off day for you, and everyone had them. The rest of the team had every opportunity to push ahead, and they hadn’t been able to either. Would Alexia have blamed herself, if the roles were reversed? Most definitely. But as she watched you fight off tears while walking towards the tunnel after the game, Alexia could only think that she didn’t really care that you’d played poorly. All she cared about was making you smile again. 
Her hope that it would only take a few encouraging words from her to make you feel better faded quickly when you pulled away from her in the tunnel, heading right for the showers. You were able to avoid her through the rest of your post match routine, and when Alexia escaped media duties, it was to find that you’d already gotten on the bus. Of course, this match couldn’t have been in Barcelona, and Alexia couldn’t bring you back to her house and keep an eye on you. No, she had to rely instead on Mapi to console you, who you were rooming with. Speaking of the defender, she pulled Alexia to the side as the captain headed to the bus, a solemn expression on her face. 
“Switch with me tonight?” She asked. Alexia rolled her eyes; she was rooming with Ingrid. Of course Mapi wanted to switch. 
“María, are you really taking advantage of my girlfriend being upset so you and your girlfriend can break the rules in the hotel?” Alexia asked, tone biting and filled with annoyance. 
Mapi frowned at her friend. “No. Ingrid has a migraine and I want to stay with her. And I heard your girl crying in the shower. I was trying to be helpful.” 
Alexia sighed. Today was really not her day. “Sorry, amiga. Yeah, let’s switch, thank you.” It wasn’t taking you home, but it was better than lying awake in her hotel room, worried about you when you were just right down the hall. 
------
You were lost in your thoughts when Alexia sat next to you on the bus. She instantly wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled you into her, which surprised you a bit. Alexia liked to keep things professional, often going so far as to avoid touching you when you were all around the team. It seemed as though your need for her superseded her need to be perfectly professional at all times, though, because the way she kissed your forehead was far from friendly. 
“Mapi and I are switching rooms, vale? I stay with you tonight.” She murmured, her words heavily accented, as they always were when she tried to whisper. 
You wanted to deny her, rid her of the burden that you knew you would be this evening, but you couldn’t manage it, not when she was holding you so tightly, and when she smelled so comfortingly familiar. 
“Thank you.” You replied, well aware of how uncommon it was for Alexia to break the rules, even for you. 
Your girlfriend shook her head. “Do not thank me. I will always give you what you need.” 
It was with that thought that you began to think about what it was that you needed. By the time you reached the hotel, you were absolutely convinced you had the answer. 
------
Alexia was expecting you to cry upon return to your hotel room. Or, at least, pull Alexia into bed, bury your face in her chest, and try to go to sleep. Anything to avoid talking about it, and anything to avoid thinking about it. She was not expecting you to pounce on her the minute the door shut, her bag in hand, having just switched with Mapi. 
Regardless, she met your kiss eagerly, reaching down to lift you easily into her arms. You wrapped your legs around her waist, and wound your arms around your neck, completely intending to lose yourself in the feeling of her. She seemed to come to her senses after a few minutes though, pulling away somewhat breathlessly and settling you on the bed. 
“Let’s slow down, sí? You just played a full 90, we have to fly tomorrow
” she trailed off as you shook your head, pulling on her shirt to get her to climb on top of you. Alexia was a willful person, normally, but the one place that this was not the case was with you. Almost involuntarily, she leaned back down, allowing you to guide her lips towards yours. 
This time, when you broke the kiss, Alexia looked much more convinced to give in to what you clearly wanted, and what she wanted too, rules and logic be damned. 
That is, until you spoke, grabbing her hand and pulling it towards your throat. “Punish me.” You whispered, a desperate look on your face. 
Alexia instantly withdrew her hand, cupping your cheek instead, a very sad look on her face. “Mi amor, I do not know if that is a good idea.” 
“Please, Ale, I need you so bad. I can’t feel like this, I need you to punish me, please.” You begged, gripping her wrist and pulling it back towards your neck. 
She still didn’t look sure, so it surprised you when she nodded her head slowly. “What my girl needs, she gets.” She murmured, pressing her lips to yours once more. 
Alexia had no intention to punish you. She knew that wasn’t really what you needed, and she was determined to give you what you needed. So she let herself kiss you, for a while, until you began to get impatient and squirmy under her. She kept her kisses sweet and slow, withdrawing slightly every time you tried to get her to be a bit harsher.
“You aren’t being rough” You huffed impatiently, glaring up at Alexia’s face above you. She just hummed in response, returning her lips to your neck and suckling softly at the skin. “Ale,” you complained again. This time, she did respond, leaning up off you to look sternly into your eyes. 
“Who decides what I do? Is it you? Or is it me?” 
“You,” you replied softly. “But, Ale, I need-”
“Who decides what you need, amor? You? Or me?” You didn’t reply, only glaring up at her halfheartedly. She answered her own question when it became clear that you weren’t going to. “I do. And you are not being very nice to yourself today. So I will do that for you.” 
“Alexia I don’t deserve-” 
“Shh, amor. I know what you deserve. Now relax, and let me make you feel good, vale?” 
“Okay.” You replied softly, almost in a trance. Alexia could get you like that fairly easily, she just needed to say the right thing and pair her words with some intense eye contact, and you were ready to do whatever she asked of you. 
“Buena niña,” she breathed into your ear, her hand beginning to trail down your body. You didn’t acknowledge what she said, stiffening slightly at her words. You didn’t feel like her good girl, not right now. Alexia knew this, and she also knew that by the time she was done with you, you would feel like her good girl. 
Alexia sat up off you, pulling at your shirt. You stripped it off, your bra quickly following. 
“You are so beautiful.” Alexia said softly, her finger tracing a line down your abdomen, her eyes fixed on yours. 
You squirmed uncomfortably at her words, and Alexia tilted her head just slightly. “You are, amor. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” She reiterated, this time not waiting for a response before she began to kiss at your bare chest, working her way down your abdomen, and pausing at your shorts. 
“Do you want me?” She husked. As if you would ever say no to that question from her. 
“Yes, please.” 
“Then tell me that you are good.” Alexia said, resting her cheek on your lower abdomen, as if she knew it would take you a minute to get the words out. Looking at her from where you were propped up on your elbows, it was hard not to feel good, to feel beautiful. Alexia looked at you like you imagined people looked upon the Ark of the Covenant; like they knew they’d only have a short time to enjoy something so divine, and they weren’t planning on wasting a second. 
 You knew she wouldn’t move until you’d said what she wanted you to, and you decided to say it, even if it felt like a lie. 
“I am good.” You mumbled, so quietly Alexia almost didn’t hear you. 
“Perfecta,” Alexia smiled, finally sliding her fingers under the waistband of your shorts, and pulling them down. She pulled your underwear off, too, smiling to herself at the wet patch already on them; she’d never get over the effect she had on you. If it made her cocky, then it made her cocky; was she supposed to be humble when the most beautiful person she’d ever met always wanted her so desperately?
Much to your annoyance, Alexia didn’t immediately put her mouth on you. Instead, she switched her focus to your inner thighs, leaving light kisses up one, ghosting over where you really wanted her, and down the other leg. After her 2nd lap of this, you grew frustrated. 
“Please,” you whined, hoping that asking for what you wanted would get it.
“You said you wanted to be punished. This is your punishment, I am going to go slow until you are dripping for me.” Alexia replied, one finger teasing over your clit rather lightly, yet you still shuddered. 
“Am- am I not dripping for you already?” You grumbled, your words losing some edge to them when Alexia pressed down just barely, before retracting her hand. She grinned up at you rather smugly, finally pushing your legs further apart, and spreading you open. 
“Mmm, you are.” Alexia allowed. 
“Well then what- oh fuck,” you cut yourself off when Alexia buried her face in your pussy, lapping and licking at your folds like it was the last thing she’d ever do. The blonde’s tongue was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, and you were quickly arching your back, and grinding yourself up into her face.
You were used to not being able to touch. To being tied up, or told to keep your hands off when Alexia got working on her favorite activity. You were used to having to tug at the restraints, or pull at the bedsheets, until the urge to grab Alexia’s head and pull her even closer eventually floated away, like everything always did when she fucked you. 
This time, though, Alexia grabbed your hands in hers, humming against you with pleasure at the sounds you were letting out, and placed them on her head, encouraging you to lace your fingers into her soft blonde hair. 
Once Alexia had done that, allowing you to set a rhythm of fucking yourself down against her tongue, holding her face where you wanted it, it was just a matter of minutes before your hands were tightening and you were getting louder and louder. 
Alexia knew she should care, your teammates were right next door, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind, not when you threw your head back against the bed, writhed underneath her, repeated her name over and over like it was the only word you remembered. 
“Ale, Ale, please, I’m so close,” you chanted, words broken up by breathy moans sliding easily out of your lips. 
“Let go, amor,” she said, barely withdrawing her mouth to speak, and the vibrations of her voice against your pussy did it, along with her lips attaching themselves to your clit and sucking, hard. 
“Fuck fuck fuck, jesus Alexia,” you cried, eventually pushing her head away when it became too much. You’d always been loud, and it never ceased to amaze Alexia how easily you let go when you came.  
Your girlfriend slid back up your body, hand settling over your core as you grinded softly down into it, still working through the aftershocks. Alexia kept her face close to yours, wanting to hear the desperate little whines and breaths that you always made after you came. 
“You sound so pretty when you come for me, do you know that? I love hearing you say my name.” Alexia told you. All you could do was wrap your arms tighter around her, and haul her in even closer as you came back into yourself. 
You whimpered slightly when Alexia’s fingers abruptly dragged through your core, your mouth falling open almost on instinct when she raised her hand up to your mouth. 
“Taste yourself.” She instructed, pushing her 2 large fingers right past your parted lips. You sucked on them eagerly, more interested in having something of Alexia’s inside your mouth than you were with tasting yourself. 
“Buena, tĂłmelo todo,” she hummed, not embarrassed in the slightest at how good it felt to have you suck eagerly on her fingers. “Tan buena, mi niña, la niña mas perfecta del mundo,” 
The whine you let out at that let Alexia know just how desperately you needed to hear her praise you. She didn’t have much time to think on that, though, before your hand was pulling hers away from your face, and directing it back between your legs. 
“More,” you said softly, blushing when you felt Alexia smirk into your neck.
“You want more? You want my fingers in that perfect pussy?” She teased, loving the way your whole chest and neck turned red at her words. 
“Sí, I need your fingers.” You told her, tilting your neck to the side when she nibbled slightly on the skin there. 
“Anything for you,” Alexia mumbled, pulling both her hand and mouth away from you in a way that felt rather contradictory to her statements. When she flipped you around, though, and pulled you up the bed to settle in between her legs, your back to her chest, you realized why. If you were blushing before, you weren’t sure what you were doing now could be described as. Maybe turning permanently red. 
On the wall just across from you was a full length mirror, rather obscenely placed so that most of the first bed was visible in it. Alexia wanted you to watch. You didn’t want to watch, at least not watch yourself. 
“Gonna fuck you now,” the blonde whispered, frowning slightly when you shut your eyes and turned your head slightly to hide your face against her neck. “No, amor, you are going to watch.” 
“Alexia,” 
“You are going to watch.” She insisted. “You are beautiful, and perfect, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I want you to see yourself like I do. Falling apart on my fingers, and screaming my name.” 
You felt like you were getting whiplash with how quickly she was switching between being almost painfully sweet, and being painfully filthy. 
“Can you do that, mi niña bonita? Can you watch yourself take my fingers?” 
“I can.” You muttered, feeling Alexia grab your chin and turn your head back towards the mirror. You were spread open wide, your cunt glistening in the dim lighting of the room, one of Alexia’s large hand holding your leg back.
A soft “good” was all you got before Alexia was sliding her hand down your stomach, right down to your entrance, tracing two fingers over it before easily sliding them in. Her fingers were absurdly large, and it was a bit of a stretch, even with how wet you were, and she kept them still for almost a full minute, before your body was very unsuccessfully trying to grind down on them. 
“Look at you,” Alexia cooed, beginning to pump her fingers in and out. She filled you so perfectly, it was almost mesmerizing to see, if not slightly embarrassing to see yourself drip all over the sheets. “Taking me so well. You are so wet. Do you want another finger, bonita?” 
You could only nod frantically, all your energy focused on not looking away. 
When Alexia slipped her third finger in, you grabbed on to her forearm tightly, breaths leaving your mouth rapidly. 
“Look at your tight pussy, taking 3 fingers.” 
“Ale,” you mumbled, the only coherent thought you were able to form at this point. Alexia was making you feel good, and Alexia was all you wanted; what else was there to say?
“Sí, tell me how good you feel,” she encouraged. 
You took a few stuttering deep breaths, trying not to let the wet sounds of her fingers sliding in and out of your cunt to distract you. 
“S-so good, baby, you make me feel so fucking good,” you managed, feeling Alexia speed up at your words. You realized your eyes had shut, and you forced them back open, not wanting your girlfriend to stop, not when you were so close. 
Alexia fucked you harder, her hand making a loud smack when it connecting with your body, her fingers sounding almost pornographic as the moved inside of you. The blonde began to curl her fingers, which were long enough to brush perfectly over the spot deep inside of you that made your toes curl. 
“Ale, your fingers- on my, shit,” you tried, unable to get the words out. Luckily, your girlfriend knew just what you were asking for. 
“So good, asking for what you need.” She praised, moving her other hand from your leg over to your core, instantly circling your clit, rubbing eagerly against it with the perfect amount of pressure. 
“Ale, coming,” you managed, your back arching up off Alexia’s chest, thighs clenching around her hand. Your walls tightened so much that Alexia could barely move inside of you, and the volume at which you screamed her name was sure to bring a lot of teasing both of your ways tomorrow, but Alexia didn’t care. Not when she made you feel good. Not when she made you come so hard, all you could do afterward was flop back down onto her body, panting heavily. 
Her fingers eventually removed themselves from deep inside of you, and Alexia quietly shushed the whimper you let out at the sensation. Her less messy hand rubbed comforting circles over your stomach, and her lips pressed kiss after kiss to your cheek. You didn’t really notice any of this. You felt it all happen, but you were much to content to remain completely fucked out for the time being. 
Though one thought did break through the haze, and you tried to move your hands down Alexia’s body, muttering something about her not having a turn yet. 
“No, tonight is for you. You are all done, amor, it is okay.” She encouraged, feeling you relax back into her. You laid there for a few more minutes, feeling every inch of your skin pressed up against Alexia’s, and thinking somewhere in your brain that there was no better sensation. 
Eventually, Alexia very carefully slid out from under you, promising that she’d be right back, before she disappeared briefly into the bathroom. You could only groan in response, already wishing that she was back in contact with you. 
When she did return, it was to delicately pick you up, cradle you close to her chest, and carry you into the bathroom. She tried to lower you into the bath she’d drawn, but you wouldn’t let go of her. 
“Don’t let go, please.” You requested, and Alexia smiled softly, stepping into the tub with you. She laid you carefully on her chest, hoping the warm water would revive you some. 
It did, and only a few minutes later, you turned your head, resting your chin on your girlfriend’s chest, looking up at her with an adoring expression on your face. 
“Hi you,” she whispered, the English phrase she’d picked up from you making you smile yourself. 
“Hola,” you replied, and she laughed quietly. 
“Thank you. For knowing what I needed. And knowing what I didn’t.” You said, the mood suddenly a lot more serious. 
“Always.” She promised. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Not really. I just want to be here with you.” You stated carefully, cheeks flushing at the way Alexia’s entire face seemed to soften and melt at your words. 
“Okay, amor. It is important to me that you know, though. I always love you. You are always good. Even if you have a bad match. Even if you have 100 bad matches. I love you the same. Forever, I love you the same. Okay?” 
There were tears falling down your face when you responded, tears that Alexia easily wiped away. 
“I love you.” 
“Te amo mucho mucho mucho,” she promised, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. 
You’d never get over this intimacy. The ease with which you let Alexia see every ugly part of you. And the ease with which she met everything you hated about yourself with overflowing amounts of love. Alexia loved you more than you could ever hate yourself. 
-------
this entered my brain and refused to leave :)
997 notes · View notes
anika-ann · 2 months ago
Text
Restless Hearts - S.R.
Type: one-shot, established relationship, next-to-zero plot
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word Count: 6,2k
Summary: Moving in together with Steve is the dream come true – or it should have been. You didn't exactly have the chance to benefit from that since he shipped off to a mission for days and is only now coming back.
You grow restless. And to make it worse, you only get to reunite with him on this stupid pompous party instead of your home. Well. Just few more hours of socializing to survive.
You could handle that, right?
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Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, semi-public sex if you squint, unprotected sex, language, Steve being a menace, two idiots in love who can't keep their hands off of each other
A/N: written for the Smutty September Fest hosted by @mercurial-chuckles . Thank you for hosting 💕 I have chosen multiple prompts - finding a somewhat private area at a fancy party to f* and quickie where you don’t take any clothes off, just tug and pull and expose the essentialsÂ đŸ€­
A/N 2: DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; enjoy y'allÂ đŸ„°
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Sparkling lights. Sparkling drinks. Elegant gowns and sharp suits. Subtle polite laughter and conversation occasionally interrupted by a louder exclamation and a genuine burst of laughter from the groups forming around those who knew how to charm a crowd. A non-descript music, one song bleeding into another, a few couples trying to find space on the dancefloor that had mostly changed into an agora, a space for conversation rather than for moving in well-practiced sync.
The dress skirt brushing over your knees and ankles, a slight chill on the back of your neck as someone opened the balcony doors, letting in fresh April air of New York City. The light stink of alcohol and sweat amongst the hundreds of expensive perfumes and colognes. The rich aftertaste of the sting of bubbles, sweet and spicy on your tongue.
The golden lights shone bright but intimate, reflecting in your champagne glass and prompting you to finish your first – and likely one of the lasts – drink of the night.
You weren’t much of a drinker. You indulged every once in a while, more of curiosity about what fancy brand the host had chosen for the occasion and a thing of courtesy, using the glass like a required social prop.
Such was the case tonight too – a fancy evening for investors and associates of the Earth’s mightiest heroes. Politicians, diplomats, government officials, high-ranking military officials and filthy-rich entrepreneurs – mostly not your crowd, to speak plainly. There was a slightly better company too, even if scarce: former agents and other colleagues – well-vetted beforehand, of course – scientists, non-profit representatives, veterans. Several Avengers too, of course.
But your favourite – the one who had brought you deeper into the world of superheroes – was yet to be found.  
Steve Rogers most definitely was your favourite; nearly flawless moral compass, loyal, protective of the less fortunate ones and his own. A fighter who had won and lost all too much; an artist, who saw beauty around him nevertheless. A kind soul with an enormous heart, perhaps a tad too big for his own body despite his impressive physique. Larger than life and yet somehow humble enough in his insistence that he was just a man, ordinary, like most; just lucky enough to had been given a chance to fight and to defend.
And to love.
Steve Rogers certainly was your favourite, as he should be; the goodness of the world distilled into one man, with a face and a body of worth of being sculpted by the masters of ancient arts, the warmest smile and a sparkle to his eye a testimony to his brilliant mind and wicked humour. All that at your fingertips; all that supposedly yours, as incredible as it seemed at most times.
He was yours.
Your boyfriend of four months and seventeen days.
Not that you had been counting; perhaps just a little. You were innocent in the matter, however; it was mostly your and Steve’s friends, teasing you about taking things slow. According to Bucky, had you been taking things at Steve’s desired pace, with how smitten he apparently was, he would have already had a ring on your finger.
You didn’t dare to judge, afraid of raising your hopes a little too much; however, there was something to be said about Steve Rogers in love. He made it clear; so painfully and blissfully clear, letting you feel his much-reciprocated adoration in hundreds if not thousands of little moments.
In his touch. In his words. In his actions.
Your demanding jobs perhaps did slow down your progress a bit, making even the settling on a day of your first date quite the feat; but it was one of those good things that made the waiting worth it.
If Steve was smitten, so were you; and while a proposal would feel rather rash, you certainly not at all thinking about how you’d probably say yes anyway, because you simply knew, you’d settle for moving in together.
You had moved in together, thirteen days ago.
And the move in that had left you with half-unpacked boxes, cold bed and an apartment lacking the true aura of a home, because the person you wished to build it with was godknowswhere in a middle of Siberia, having left after a passionate welcome-to-our-new-home and a message delivered at three damn forty a.m.
Steve had left the pleasant warmth of your bed at four, with a profound sleepy apology and a lingering kiss to your forehead.
Left for an off-grid no-contact mission. Lasting for days.
For all the faith you had in his skill and strength, the worry that came with him being away for so long without as much of a short text was eating at you; and then there was the matter of simply missing him, the empty feeling only accentuated by having expected to be nearer to him at last and getting this instead. You were an independent woman and you could live your life without a man just fine, but goddamn were you also a woman madly in love, missing your boyfriend.
And you were growing impatient.
You were still at your first drink, yes, but knowing Steve should appear at any moment did not help calm your nerves, the slightly uncomfortable but exciting swirl of anticipation of seeing him again – in a suit no less – as intense as the yearning for comfort of actually seeing for yourself that he was safe and sound.
He had texted you, at last, about four hours ago, that he was on his way, nothing but a couple of bruises already healing, looking forward to seeing you.
You had agreed to meet at the venue; he would be running last minute, or perhaps even fashionably late, grabbing a quick shower and a shave at his at-hand quarters at the Tower, just throwing on a suit he kept there for such occasions. You had offered to help – for the completely selfish reason of seeing him sooner and in private instead of in front of hundreds of watchful curious eyes – but he had sweetly refused, argumenting that at least one of you should be on time and promising he would find you first thing upon his arrival.
You would have grumbled if you hadn’t been soothed by the Love you, can’t wait to hold you again, he had texted after. He was a charming loveable bastard like that.
As the infamous murmur of excitement arose around you, bringing you back to the present, your eyes easily found the source of the commotion: Steve Rogers himself.
Your heart rate accelerating reminded you that not being able to meet Steve before the event might have been a blessing. Had you had the chance to get your hands on him, you two would probably end up being very much unfashionably late; a welcome home kiss would have simply not sufficed.
He was breathtaking.
The traditional black suit with navy blue glint was fitted for certain; tight where it should be, accentuating Steve’s absurdly broad shoulders and thin waist, pants no doubt hugging all the right places from behind somehow complimenting his long muscular legs too, pristine white shirt with a bowtie matching the suit; the soft blue reflection emphasized the colour of his eyes as they scanned the room without ever stopping his progress, his polite smile spreading wide when his gaze found yours, the blue of his irises turning warmer; the most beautiful feature to his face battling the magnificence of his sharply cut jaw.
The instant relief washing over you screamed of how anxious you had actually been before you had seen him alive and well; the warmth spreading through your veins whispered of comfort, a tidal wave of feeling at home after a long travel; the heat curling in your belly and sending sparkles through every nerve ending reminded you that your body had been missing him in all different ways.
Your gaze zeroed on his every step. He seemed to move too slow and too fast at once; and suddenly he was standing in front of you, one hand gently grasping yours, the other lightly laying on your waist, a chaste kiss to your temple lingering as your body naturally sought his and carefully leaned into his entirely publicly appropriate greeting. The familiar woodsy notes of his cologne and aftershave had your heartbeat pick up and instinctively move closer into his embrace and breathing in deeply, the scent going straight to your head; but following his lead, you didn’t get too close, letting the gentle timbre of his voice soothe your need for connection instead.
At last; he was home. He was here, with you, and his love, while contained in socially acceptable gestures, seemed to draw a protective circle around your pair, shining brighter and warmer than the lights and all the luxuries around combined.
“Hey sweetheart. It’s so good to see you,” he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek this time, his eyes lit alive as he retreated, a hint of a smile still playing in the corner of his lips. “And you are absolutely stunning. Almost tripped over my feet the moment I set my eyes on you.”
Resisting the urge to tenderly slap his side at the exaggeration, at making your face burn hot – and something inside you purr with satisfaction since you had chosen your outfit with care, much like your makeup and hairdo – you gathered your composure, straightening your posture and charming a smile for him in return.
In one of many late-night conversations, when he had revealed his artistic side to you, he had admitted he loved to feast his eyes on all kinds of art from the most ordinary ones to the rarest; you had understood then that while a fighter and just a man in his core, his soul was a thing seeking beauty and goodness everywhere. In both things and people. A doodle could make him smile and hum in delight as much as a painting or a sculpture, he had said shyly; a building, an arrangement of flowers, a beautiful dress too. The last one, however, he had appreciated most on a woman as bewitching as yourself, he had told you, a tender finger on your jaw, a glint of dark mischief in his eye, lips slanting over yours and stealing your breath in a matter of a second; proving he was appreciative of you just as much when you were wearing nothing at all.
This time, however, you liked to believe he enjoyed the sight of you in the dress indeed; the top was hugging your curves like a second skin, the dark crimson fabric bled into a breeze-light skirt, shorter at the front, longer at the back, offering a less-than-scandalous but still teasing peek of your legs and clear view of your matching heels.
“It’s really good to see you too, love. And you look quite handsome yourself
 I nearly dropped my drink upon seeing you,” you reciprocated with a small smirk, pointedly finishing your drink at last, heat flaring in your core when you caught Steve’s gaze lingering on your lips as they barely touched the edge of the glass, not leaving an imprint despite the dangerously red colour of your lipstick.
As you set your glass on the nearest table, you took a satisfactory note of Steve’s gaze flickering even lower, and bit back a smile.
As high as the neckline of your dress was, actually reaching half-up your throat and barely but chastely covering your shoulders, the oval-shaped cut stretching from between your collarbones down over your sternum was a rather intentional trap.
And your Captain had fallen right into it, his Adam’s apple bobbing before his gaze snapped back to your face, pupils wider, irises having gained just a tad darker shade. The fresh surge of confidence was almost as intense as the swoop of desire in your lower belly, sending your thoughts spiralling far away from a behaviour socially acceptable at an event like this.
It made you want to abandon the event and let it sort itself even if Steve had just barely arrived.
Who cared anyway? Steve deserved a proper rest after a taxing mission; rest and more, whatever his heart desired. And maybe not only his heart; if you were honest with yourself, you were only a hot-blooded human being like the rest of the world and were looking forward to truly greeting Steve home in all the ways imaginable.
You could control yourself in the public, of course, and you genuinely understood the importance of networking. But you should bring up simply taking Steve home for his own good; and you could profit from it all the same. From his proximity, from the privacy of your home, from getting your hands on the insanely handsome man’s body.
Whether he sensed the sparkles in the air you weren’t sure; but he leaned towards your face, his voice dripping slow and rich like honey from his lips brushing your ear, sinful despite the words being perfectly innocent.
“It works well then, honey.” He offered you his elbow, straightening his posture as if he was so damn proud to show off what kind of a woman he had on his arm. “Let’s go fulfil our duty of mingling so we can excuse ourselves as soon as possible.”
With his last words carrying alluring notes of an intimate promise, you conceded.
Nodding, you arranged your face in a polite smile, crafted to nonchalant perfection.
“Let’s go mingle indeed.”
Indeed, let’s work so we can sneak away and go home as soon as possible.
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Your plan had gone a little awry.
In the glow of delight at Steve’s arrival, you had underestimated the number of people who found it their crucial mission to meet and greet and catch up with Captain America.
You had kept up the pleasant façade through all the conversations, nodding and chuckling politely when the situation called for it; but you were growing weary and you could feel tension gradually building in Steve’s shoulders as well, the way you remained connected by at least an inch of a touch at all times permitting you to observe the change.
You had thought it would help when you subtly nodded towards the dance floor; his smile turned much more genuine as he asked you for a dance, earning your pair a breather and a moment of shared intimacy for a few songs.
But you had been wrong in your strategy; if it were possible, Steve’s jaw appeared locked even tighter than before once your reprieve was deemed to last too long and you agreed to return to socializing. His touch grew into a hold; at moments, it was but a grip, until you felt him forcefully relax and ease the pressure.
You didn’t blame him one bit.
He must have been exhausted; away from home for so long, physically and mentally drained after an intense, albeit successful mission, forced to put on a mask for everyone else’s benefit, because Steve Rogers, to a point, was a poster boy. As much as he was trying to change that, working on allowing himself to show and accept his humanity, he remained the embodiment of a hero who never gave up and raised others on his own shoulders despite scratching the bottom of the barrel of his own energy.
He remained cordial and polite and a gentleman; he offered to get you a drink as you excused yourself to the bathroom, returning only to find him – visibly annoyed, for once – trapped in a conversation with Tony. A conversation which was probably not at all important, but apparently couldn’t wait, at least in Tony’s mind.  
“Such a charming woman, standing here all by herself. How is that even possible?” questioned a voice from your left just as you pondered rescuing your boyfriend, causing you to waver.
It was a very male voice. An unfamiliar voice.
And had it been Clint or Sam or Bucky, you’d laugh at the poor line, which would no doubt be told with a drop of teasing; or in Thor’s case, entirely genuine and fitting to Asgardian but not Midgardian ways. Hearing it from a stranger, though, that made you want to roll your eyes.
You were a strong soldier of God so to speak, however; you turned to the source of the voice with a smile with just a slightly sharp edge – one the tall lanky man was oblivious to, as it turned out – and greeted him with a measured Sir.
As he introduced himself, you learned that Mr. Doctor Bowers PhD. might have had two PhDs but none of them was in taking a goddamn hint. Because now you were sort-of trapped much like Steve was, the written and unwritten rules of courtesy not permitting you to make up an excuse of needing to go to the bathroom after you had clearly just come back.
You counted seconds, pondering how soon you could leave the man behind without appearing too rude. You got to a hundred when your patience truly was wearing thin.
He was still not taking any of the hints you had dropped. Worse, even. You weren’t presumptuous enough – unlike some people in the mostly one-sided conversation – to imagine the flirting. He was clearly attempting to flirt and was failing miserably. He was shameless about it too, even if a little condescending.
Ninety-four seconds later, you had enough of him and far too little of Steve; your skin seemed to be already burning where Steve had last touched you, yearning for the contact to return in a perhaps clingy, but entirely honest way.
And suddenly, as if some miracle provided by Asgardian magic, the touch was back.
Steve’s arm was curling around your waist, his side pressing to your hip, his lips making a gentle – and strangely electric – contact with your hairline.
“I’m sorry about the hold-up, sweetheart. Who’s your
 friend?”
It was a little funny, really. The man matched Steve in height, but at the biting note in Steve’s voice, he shrank at least a foot and a half.
He introduced himself after clearing his throat, maintaining the remnants of his composure which all of sudden carried no hint of the wannabe seducer. You wanted to kiss Steve right on the lips right there for that alone.
Mr. Doctor PhD also probably regretted extending his hand for Steve to shake; because at Steve’s grip, no doubt stronger than necessary despite his entirely nonchalant mask of politeness, he actually winced.
You were no supporter of violence, much like Steve, which might seem ironic to some given his profession – but the lick of heat at seeing Steve put the guy into back into his place sent a shudder of undiluted want down your spine and straight into your core, your posture involuntarily shifting in response. Steve’s hold on you tightened.
“I have to talk to my girlfriend now, if you excuse us. See you around,” Steve said, already spinning you towards the exit to drive his point to the end.
You didn’t resist.
If anything, you couldn’t walk fast enough, regretting wearing heels and wishing for a pair of sneakers instead to sneak away from the party altogether at last.
Only when Steve led you further and further away from people, deeper into the complex, your heart began thundering in your chest; you noticed that the tension in his muscles you had worried about had grew tenfold and realized that his announcement about needing to talk to you might be more than an excuse.
“Steve, are you alright?”
“Fine,” he responded flatly, yet in a voice carrying hundred times more warmth than just a moment ago.
Right. And the Sun is blue, the pigs can fly and tachyons had always been proven particles of matter.  
You swallowed the snarky response, glancing at him as you barely kept up with his long strides; still, you could tell he was holding back, having seen him march with much more hurry and relentlessness.
“Thanks for the rescue, by the way. Really,” you pipped up, one corner of your lips rising despite your stomach turning tight at the unreadable expression on Steve’s face. “Guy simply couldn’t take the hint that I only have eyes for my Captain.”
An uncomprehensible grumbly noise vibrated in Steve’s chest, his arm sliding from your waist in favour of taking your hand in his instead.
Apparently, your attempt at cheering him up failed; you should have known.
The corridor was now completely devoid of people; you had arrived to the part of the floor with three small conference rooms, one an each of them dark and empty – because everyone was at the party.
Your smile turned truly nervous at that point, your mind racing as much as your heart. Steve wouldn’t have led you here unless he wanted to urgently talk about something important. You were a little baffled as to why hadn’t he opted for the elevator and his former quarters instead; but you didn’t question it as he placed his palm on the scanner and practically threw one of the doors open and all but pulled you in, some of the lights automatically flickering to life.
That was all that your ordinary human brain had time to register.
Because then Steve’s hand found firm purchase of your neck, cupping your jaw, lips slanted over yours with ferocity and passion that had your mind snap blank and set your body on fire, your hands limply landing on his firm chest.
Oh. O-okay.
More than okay.
You were forced to walk backwards, Steve’s other hand pressing against your hip to lead your step and steady you at once; an anchor you desperately needed in the whirlwind of puzzlement and madly stirred desire. Your lips parted in invitation just before your ass hit the conference table, an unvoluntary whimper escaping you when Steve’s body aligned with yours, every single part of him bare his lips tight and wound up, his hardness brushing against your thigh.
At the small sound so willingly consumed by his demanding kiss, he squeezed your hip harder, tongue exploring hundred-times explored with delight, air stolen from your lungs, your hands scrambling to grab his suit jacket to pull him even closer.
Who needed breathing anyway?
You didn’t. And you didn’t care how you got here either, be it desire fuelled by impatience or jealousy or the endless time apart, your choice of a dress or your lipstick which you knew Steve liked so much. You didn’t give a damn.
He was the spoilsport, releasing your lips and pressing his forehead against yours, his quick breaths fanning your face, hand from your neck sliding lower, an almost inhuman sound pushing through his teeth when his fingertips found the exposed skin on your breastbone, petting the soft spot adoringly.
You had not known until that moment how much you craved his touch precisely at that spot and how weak in the knees it could make you.
“Please say y-“
“Yes,” you gasped, instantly rewarded by his mouth on yours again with a muttered but hearty-
“God, I missed you-“
-dextrous fingers sliding under your skirts and hiking the fabric up as they travelled up your thigh, Steve’s pelvis rocking against yours, creating delicious friction against your core.
“I missed you too.”
Your hands went to roam over his freshly shaven jaw, over his shoulders, pushing the jacket off just to make him growl in frustration when he had to stop touching you for two full seconds to get rid of it.
“Sorry, want to feel you,” you apologized nonsensically, every single moment of his touch going straight to your head like a strong sweet wine, intoxicating and addictive, much like his scent, his taste, consuming all of your senses.
“Need to have you-”
“You have me,” you said breathily, a plea and a promise at once, thoroughly appreciated by a squeeze to your ass, fingertips wandering towards where you needed him the most--
And then Steve halted in his progress, body turning into a statue as he came in contact with bare skin, lips stilling on yours.
You gulped, trying to judge his reaction despite your haze.
You had had
 a little incident when dressing up to the nines. Your broken nail nicked your thigh-high, sending a run up your calf. Uncharacteristically unprepared, you had found out if was your only pair. And sure. You could have run to a store. You could have express-ordered; stores would trip over their feet to deliver to Ms. Captain America in need. You could have worn a pantyhose.
And yet, your mind had steered you towards the drawer where you had kept tights specifically bought for a wholly different occasion than a social outing.
Why not? Your dress was long enough. And having hoped Steve’s mission would bring him home victorious and excited, having missed all of him terribly, you thought you might at least save some time once you two would be home.
Except you weren’t at home now. But that wasn’t on you – you were completely innocent in that matter.
Except you weren’t and your tights were conveniently sewn with a large enough opening to have Steve fit his hand or other parts of his body through, leaving but a flimsy lace panties in his way.
“Sweetheart?” he rasped, licking his lips as if to tempt you further, to confess your sins born of love and lust. He pulled back just an inch, to meet your gaze, his own pupils blown so wide only a thin ring of your beloved blue remained.
You gulped; not ashamed, not truly, perhaps a little apprehensive of his judgement. You had worn what was pretty much an erotic prop to a high-class event and had you not been careful and had had an accident, anyone seeing or god forbid snapping a picture

“I
 wanted to greet you home
 and feel you as soon as possible,” you admitted silently, heart thundering in your chest, in your ears, in your temples, in your fingertips fisting the collar of Steve’s shirt.
A beat of silence.
Several wild beats of your heart.
“Christ, I love you-“
You were hoisted up on the edge of the table in a lightning speed and a mouth-watering display of strength, lips devoured by Steve’s with enough force to bend you backwards, the line of your soaked panties pushed aside to not waste time indeed as Steve’s fingertips dipped into your slick with a mutual groan of pleasure.
“Steve-“
“That’s right, honey,” he whispered, lips teasing the soft skin of your throat now, “I’m here now, all yours.”
He teased your lower lips back and forth, once, twice, three times too many and then he finally entered you with two fingers, a dark chuckle coming deep from his throat at the gasp of his name, stepping closer between your spread thighs to press your legs further apart.
He pumped his fingers with ease, driving you towards the stars at a dizzying speed, pressing a soothing kiss to your sternum when you cried out at him curling his fingers just right.
“That’s it, honey
 sing for me. Just for me,” he pleaded, contradicting his plea by claiming your lips again and pushing deeper, faster, wicked,your whimpers swallowed greedily, all his, just like you were, on the brink of ecstasy.
You were trembling; in pleasure, in anticipation of absolute bliss, with Steve’s hand firmly pressed to your lower back to hold you close and annihilate you in the most exquisite way known to man. His words, his touch, the husky notes of his voice, the sheer need radiating off him and still making sure you were to steal the first round of fireworks just for yourself.
It exploded through your body without warning.
You broke with a cry of his name, lips freed just so he could hear the delicious sound, so beautifully seconded by his harsh breaths and so filthily accompanied by the wet sound of your pleasure you had no capacity to be ashamed of but revelled in instead.
You knew he did too. Because he had done that to you, for you. It was his and yours and both was a privilege; and lust incarnate, as he brought you down from your high gently as it be, his hand disappearing from your back in favour of undoing his fly and zipper.
Feel as soon as possible; no time to waste. Pants shoved down only as little as necessary, boxers following, a peek of a mouthwatering – and always a little intimidating – sight was all you got.
A small startled sound escaped you when you were being pulled further towards the edge of the table without a moment of reprieve, a chuckle bubbling in your throat at Steve’s impatience – but with no malice. God knew you understood; the moment the head nudged your entrance, coating him in your slick, your orgasmic bliss was long gone, replaced by even more acute need.
You wanted him. Now. All of him. Wanted to feel him deep inside you, wanted him to fill you so completely as only he ever could, devoured by him, desired and loved.
And you wanted to make him feel as delirious with pleasure as he had made you a moment ago, wanted to make his world so hot it turned white for a moment, make his knees buckle with the force of his release.
Your gaze met his, eyes feasting at the beautiful panting mess he already was, all pristine in his suit and bowtie and ready to ruin and be ruined, lips crimson and kiss-swollen and parting with a groan as he slowly pushed into you.
“Look at me, Steve. Want you to see what you do to me,” you whispered, the little broken sound pushing past his lips the only warning you got before he snapped his hips forward with a curse on his lips and sheeted himself fully inside you at once. God, so fully and suddenly that all air got knocked from your lungs.
His hand grasped your jaw, tender but firm, a dangerous glint in his eye, thumb running over your painted lower lip.
“Oh I’m looking, honey.” His gaze flickered down as he retreated almost all the way out, shining with your arousal, and thrusted deeply again, causing your eyes to flutter shut. “And there’s nothing prettier than you falling apart for me, so let. Me. See you.”
He accentuated every word with a sharp snap of his hips, stroking and stretching your walls over and over, setting a rhythm, teasingly slow and punishingly quick, hand and lips roaming, grabbing and caressing, kisses all teeth and all soft, grip on your hips keeping you still to assure he could take you exactly as he liked and encouraging you to roll your hips at your pace as you balanced on the edge of the table all the same.
“Missed you.”
“Love you.
“Need you.”
“So good for me.”
“I’m so damn lucky.”
“Please.”
“Look at me.”
“Give it me, honey.”
Your head was spinning as you were consumed by bliss, spiralling towards your peak so fast you couldn’t tell anymore which words were yours and which were his, where you ended and he began, clinging to each other as you were carried higher and higher, your ears ringing and still allowing you to hear the clinks of the belt buckle and the sinful sound of your rapid love-making; like a lightning running through yours very being, you shattered with a high-pitched whimper of Steve’s name, an echo of a hoarse voice stringing curses and praise barely reaching your conscience.
You panted against Steve’s shoulder as he curled around you, minuscule movements of hips to ride out both of your highs, soft words spilling from his lips as he was barely caching breath himself.
You took a minute, maybe two or five, still, clinging to him all the same, the heady scent of sex and sweat weighing down the air, your tongue heavy and throat parched, fingers carding through Steve’s damp hair softly.
And still, you chuckled breathlessly as Steve kept running his warm hand up and down your back, the sound causing him to press a kiss to your lips that tasted of apology for some reason.
“Well
”
“I’m sorry for pouncing on you, sweetheart,” he muttered, a genuine note of regret nearly lost in the pleasure carried over to his voice.
Your smiled must have looked exhausted, you thought; but blissed out.
Oh, your sweetheart of a boyfriend. As if you hadn’t just both enjoyed this tremendously. Surely, he didn’t really mean it, did he?
“I’m sorry for sort-of setting a trap then
” you followed suit, the words feeling simply wrong on your tongue. “Except I’m not.”
At that, Steve lifted his head, meeting your gaze, his eyes sparkling with mischief and desire still.
“Me neither.”
You grinned, trying not to be acutely aware of his hardness still stretching you to your fullest.
Of course he wasn’t entirely satisfied. One round had barely even been enough.
“That’s what I thought. Good.”
He mirrored your expression, his grin a little boyish and devilish at once, his expression soft but somehow everything but innocent.
Yet, he caressed your face with his fingertips with tenderness, from your damp temple over your cheekbone to your jaw, gently pressing against your lips.
“I love you. And I missed you. So much. I swear I just wanted to go home – take you home, the moment I walked in,” he admitted, causing your smile to turn sympathetic.
You knew all about that; it was all you had been truly thinking about the whole evening.
“I know the feeling.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh
” you trailed off, sensations slowly returning to your body outside the all-consuming pleasure. You felt like you were burning; sweaty and fucked-out for the lack of a better term, most of your body tingling
 You chuckled self-deprecatingly. “God, my legs shake so much
 what did you do to me?”
Steve’s hands moved to your thighs as if he needed to feel it and steady the trembling, to help, teeth worrying over his lip, just a hint of guilt – and a whole lot more of something you didn’t dare to decode, because those were some dangerous waters.
You expected him to pull out and help you stand then, clean up; after all, he was a gentleman like that, always supporting you.
He did the former, tenderly so as not to hurt you; but not the latter. When he carefully left your body and you tried to stand, he halted your movements with tightening his hold on your thighs, his gaze roaming all over you as you glanced at him all with puzzlement.
“Steve?”
“Maybe you should lie down,” he suggested lowly, his gaze flickering from your still quaking legs to the opening of your dress on your chest and to your lips and then back.
You swallowed against your dry throat.
The dangerous waters you hadn’t dared to explore roared in the back of your head, a shudder of scalding heat running through your body.
He hadn’t cleaned up. He hadn’t tucked himself in. He was still
 as always---he-
You licked your lips, your heart stumbling so hard in your chest it was almost painful.
Wordlessly but with his blown pupils observing you like a hawk, one of his hands moved to your shoulder, gently pushing, encouraging you to lie down on the desk indeed.
And who were you to protest? His gaze was once again pleading and challenging you.
Please, say yes.
Like a fallen angel coaxing you to sin; and you’d all but follow hm straight to hell, because you knew he’d show you heaven unparalleled.
The table was cold and unforgivingly hard against your back, but you didn’t care; all you cared about was Steve looking at you like that, like you were a goddess and a prize he had sworn to win, guiding your leg up to rest your ankle against his shoulder, his hot mouth pressing a kiss to your calf. His other hand pushed his pants and boxes down his legs this time, before he reached for your other leg and wrapped it around his waist, once again nudging your sensitive opening.
“Just one more, honey,” he coaxed you, as if you needed convincing, as if the tremble of your body hadn’t turned from blissful and exhausted to one of anticipation. “Just one more and then we’ll go home
”
He pressed another kiss to your calf and met your gaze as he slowly sank back in with ease, something devilish and painfully alluring flashing in his eyes as a shudder ran through your body, sensitive from your earlier activities.
“And when we’re there, I’ll take you once more
 once for every day I would have made love to you, had I been in our home with you as I should have.”
In the haze of your mind, the math didn’t seem to math or even matter, even though you felt it should.
But for now, all you could focus on was Steve, finally with you, and soon coming to your shared home with you, at last.
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Complete masterlist
Steve Rogers masterlist
The event's masterlist
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*chuckles* I’m in dangerđŸ„č
I hope Steve makes sure she’s hydrated and eats something in betweenđŸ€­ And maybe gets some sleep; not all of us are supersoldiers đŸ„č
ANYWAY. Thank you for reading! Drop feedback if you're willing and may September bring you many smutty cozy evenings and peace 💕
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nelo0wesker · 4 months ago
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Who is she?
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Relationship: Armando Aretas X Reader
Tagging: @nobodygetsza
——————
Dorn is tirelessly working on tracking down the elusive drug kingpin, who has managed to stay one step ahead at every turn. The breakthrough comes when the kingpin makes a critical error kidnapping a girl Dorn had been keeping track of because the kingpin's underlings seemed to always be around her area.
“Hey guys I got a hit!” Dorn yells out to the others. The others go to the computer. Dorn plays the video of the women being kidnapped and put in a car. License plate being showed in the video. “Dorn track those plates” Mike says watching the video ends with the car driving away. Dorn nods and goes to track the car plates looking to where it goes in security cameras that are on the streets.
Armando watches Dorn work on the computer as he turns his head seeing his girlfriend being kidnapped in the video. He knows she’s alright. That girl was tough and knew how to defend herself. He remembers how she beat his ass once. They were on enemy sides at the time but in the end he won her heart and she betrayed her family to date him.
—-
“Got it” Dorn says, showing everyone the warehouse they took the women too. “We have to get there fast. Who knows what those men have done to that girl” Marcus says with disgust thinking of all the horrible outcomes that could happen if they don’t get there fast enough.
Mike nodded at what Marcus said looking at Armando for a quick second. He noticed how his son couldn’t seem to stop looking at the women that were kidnapped. He has a suspicion he knows her but Mike didn’t question his son about it. He’ll question him when they get the girl out of there and home.
“Alright lady and gentlemen there’s a girl that needs saving. We have to do this fast and quickly” Mike tells out and everyone nods their heads as Armando smirks thinking how you didn't really need saving. If anyone needs saving it’s that kingpin and his underlings.
Everyone grabs their vest and weapons and goes into the car driving to the warehouse
—-
Outside of the warehouse team AMMO could hear multiple gunshots, yelling, and fighting. Marcus and Mike look at eachother confused. Actually everyone was confused about what was going on. Armando just smirks as he goes to the warehouse with the rest of team AMMO behind him and goes into the warehouse just to witness you beating the shit out of some of the kingpin underlings.
Marcus and Mike gave a shock look watching how you effortlessly took out 6 of the kingpins underlings with just hands. You swiftly grab a gun from the enemies belt and shoot the others with persistent aim.
“Who the hell is this girl?!” Marcus says shocked watching you specifically take out everyone. Everyone else was questioning the same thing as Marcus except Armando.
You sigh as you drop the last enemy thinking how it wasn’t really a fight. You turn and smiles brightly seeing Armando and goes to him and hugs him tightly. “Armand!” She yells out and kisses him on the lips.
Mike looks at his son confused and shocked just like everyone else. Armando smiles and turns to his father and team AMMO. “Oh her. This is Y/N. My girlfriend” he says casually
“You're what!?” Everyone yells in shock. “Where the hell did you find her?” Marcus asked him. Armando thinks on what he’s going to say as he looks down at you seeing the smirk you had. “That’s a long story” he tells him. “Tell me I got time!” Marcus says following Armando as he walks out with you. “Armando tell us you got some explaining to do!” Mike yells chasing his son and you wonder how the hell yall met.
Kelly, Rita, and Dorn watch the four walk ahead still in shock. “Anyone know he had a girlfriend?” Dorn asks the two women next to him watching how Marcus and Mike chase you and Armando. Rita shakes her head no. “Nope,” Kelly says, popping the p. “Any guesses how he met her?” Rita asks the two. Dorn and Kelly look at each other then Rita. “Have no idea. But Armando has the story” Dorn says and goes to follow the four ahead of them. Hearing the yelling of Mike and Marcus demanding an explanation and watching how you and Armando ignoring the two talking to each other.
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 6 months ago
Note
Jace teaching his wife how to fight. Maybe he gets a bit too rough or talks bad to you but apologize
This one made me want to pull my hair so many times, so please don't be too hard on the sword-using moments. Why did I do this to myself?
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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—
‘’I don’t want to sit back and do nothing, I want to be at the frontlines and fight for our Queen. If Baela and Rhaena can do it, I can too,’’ you told Jacaerys as you were watching him take off his sword and belt, done with his day. ‘’The Queen said herself that I’m one of the greatest dragon riders. Another dragon could be helpful. I want to fight beside you.’’ 
‘’Are you sure?’’ Jacaerys shifted his gaze to you, sitting on your bed. ‘’I’m not saying that because I don’t want you to fight. I would be proud to have you fight beside me. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into.’’ He removed his cape and unbuckled his jacket, sore underneath from his training. 
You were aware of the dangers of battle, but you were tired of feeling useless. You didn't want to be known as the wife of the Queen’s heir, the one who stayed behind and watched. You wanted to be remembered as a woman who fought and won battles, and helped win the war.
‘’This is what I want, Jace.’’ 
Rhaenyra was on board with you fighting for her claim. On one condition: that you learned how to use a weapon. You couldn’t go into battle with only your dragon to defend yourself and no combat abilities. Being a good dragon rider was great, but you needed to be able to hold a sword
or even a crossbow. 
It was usually Daemon who was in charge of training, but he was away looking for dragonseeds, so Jacaerys volunteered. The latter was supposed to join Daemon on his quest, and bailed at the last minute and sent Baela in replacement. 
You and Jacaerys worked hours together on your sword fighting. He was gentle in his teaching of the basics, but didn't go too easy on you. In the heat of battle, your opponents won’t spare you. It’s a thing Ser Harwin told him when he was little. 
‘’You don't want to leave your upper body open to attacks. You want to keep your arms closer to your body,” he advised, his voice gentle yet firm. ‘’You want to relax your shoulders too. You’ll get hurt if you’re too stiff.’’ 
Jacaerys poked you in the side and a startled giggle escaped you at the unexpected poke, but you quickly regained your focus, nodding earnestly. 
‘’Got it.’’ 
You tried to relax, taking a deep breath. Holding a sword was not easy. It required a lot of control and precision. 
Jacaerys continued drilling the basics with you, very patiently explaining things. And showing you again when you asked. 
‘’Today we’ll work on disarming your opponent,’’ he announced, spinning his sword with ease. ‘’It sounds difficult, but this is one of the first moves that I learned.’’ 
You nodded, and watched intently, trying to absorb every detail as Jacaerys was demonstrating the technique. 
Then, it was your turn to try and disarm him. You stepped forward, your movements light and steady, determined to match his skill although he had years of practice. But no matter how hard you tried, Jacaerys seemed to anticipate your every move, effortlessly blocking each attempt.
‘’Disarming your opponent is not necessary in a battle,’’ Jacaerys explained over the clanging of swords, feeling your frustration. ‘’It’s mostly used during tourney duels, but if you’re ever cornered in a one on one, it can buy you some time.’’ 
The force of his last swing sent you flat on your ass. ‘’It’s looking like I won’t be buying myself much time
’’ you sighed, looking down at the sand on your clothes in disappointment.  
‘’Don’t think like that,’’ Jacaerys said, regretting going too hard on you. ‘’My fault entirely. I’m sorry. I just
I want you to be safe and ready when you’re out there. Alone.’’ The thought of you being cornered and unable to defend yourself haunted him. ‘’I’ll go easier,’’ he promised as he reached out for your hand, helping you up. 
With renewed determination, you made another attempt, and to your astonishment, you succeeded. Jacaerys's weapon clattered a few paces away, rendering both of you momentarily speechless.
He congratulated you and picked his sword back up. ‘’I knew you could do it, my love.’’ 
‘’Do I get a reward?’’ you asked, tipping your chin up. 
Jacaerys pursed his lips, thinking, then leaned down for a kiss — or what you thought was a kiss. Before your lips could touch, he seized the opportunity to disarm you effortlessly in a swift motion. Your sword slipped from your grasp, leaving you momentarily stunned. 
Pulling back, Jacaerys flashed a playful glint in his eyes as he aimed his sword at you. ‘’First rule of battle strategy, don't ever let your opponent distract you.’’
—
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale @mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron   @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes@thirsty4nonlivingmen@naty-1001@katiepie67@moshpot24x@hc-geralt-23@lovelynerdytraveler@saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10@tabloidteen@timetoten@deekaag@wondxrgurl@aerangi@strmborns@astridyoo15@daemonslittlebitch@queenbeestuffs@severewobblerlightdragon@agentstarkid@msliz@vane1999-blog@fairyfolkloresposts@todaywasafairytale07@otomaniac@zgzgzh@thebeardedmoon@golden-library@kikyrizuki@hnslchw@camy85@winxschester @armstrongscommentsection
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cammys-imagines24 · 7 months ago
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‱Being in a Relationship with Levi‱
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People are terrified of you.
Just because of the simple fact that you're Levi Ackerman's partner, so his scariness has by association, traveled to you as well.
You're treated with respect, everyone listens to you and goes out of their way to help you because if word got back to Levi that you had been mistreated, well...
Let's just say that it never ends well for the person who has dared to disrespect you.
He is the most thoughtful partner ever. Acts of service is his love language. He will remember everything about you.
How you like your drink of choice, your favorite flower, your favorite foods, if you're cold he will wrap his emerald cloak around you.
Your favorite flowers will show up on your bedside table with a note whenever he is away for a long time, your favorite drink, like tea or coffee, will show up on your office desk whenever you're swamped with work.
He'll memorize your fears, your dreams, your likes and dislikes.
Levi pined after you for so long before ever daring to start anything with you it's not even funny.
He's lost so many people and the thought of losing you, too, made him feel so weak and he hated feeling that way.
But then eventually he realized that he loved you whether you knew it or not, and you had made a home for yourself deep in his heart, all without trying to, so he just decided to tell you how he felt.
And since then he has had so many nightmares of you dying.
He wakes up, from what little sleep he manages to get and immediately searches for you.
The sight of you sleeping soundly, soft and warm, at his side comforts him in ways you cannot even imagine.
You don't know obviously, because you're asleep, but he will pull you close and whisper how much he loves you, grateful you're not conscious to hear the crack in his voice.
Levi may not be able to reach things on the top shelf for you, but he will personally lift you up in his arms so you'll be able to reach it yourself. Showing off just how effortlessly strong he is.
Calls you "love" in private or whispers it in your ear whenever others cannot overhear him.
Whenever you suggestively call him "Captain" he will have you bent over his desk in 10 seconds flat.
You two have had sex in his office more times than you can count.
Lowkey calls you his "wife" before you're even officially married.
Especially if you're being hit on by another man.
Levi will sidle up to your side, glare ice cold daggers at the scum, wrap an arm around the small of your waist and say to them, "Are you bothering my wife?"
They'll take one look at humanity's strongest soldier, how if looks could kill they'd be six feet under already and scamper away like a frightened mouse.
Matter of fact, Levi already bought your wedding ring a long time ago and he keeps it in his uniforms pocket always.
So whenever Levi goes out on missions, and fights titans beyond the walls, he can feel the weight of that ring and know that he has someone to return home to.
He will propose to you once the battle has been won, when the War is finally over, but until that day he will keep that ring as a reminder.
A promise to you, and you don't even know it yet.
Incredibly protective, but not in a controlling way. He knows you can handle yourself but also, you're the love of his life, so he is always ready to defend you.
There isn't anything Levi wouldn't do for you and he would protect you with his life.
He figures, you are his heart, so he will do everything he can to make sure you're both safe and alive.
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green-alm0nd · 6 months ago
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Love your writing so much! Can you please do some separate headcanons of the bad batch who get assigned a female!general who’s super sweet and a total scaredy cat? Because of this, they’re SUPER protective (and jealous) of their dear general, especially when it comes to other regs! And of course as time passes, they begin to develop a crush on her
Hello! Of course I can! :p
[The Bad Batch x Jedi!fem!reader (headcanons)]: "I could never choose to love another"
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Summary:
In which the Bad Batch member you're in love with falls for you too.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: protective Batch, jealousy, fluff, mild mentions of Crosshair having a panic attack, and that's pretty much it. Not proofread.
Enjoy!
A/N: Thank you <3 and I hope you enjoy your request!
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HUNTER:
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When Hunter first heard of becoming a general's squadron, he couldn't believe it. He and his brothers had been rejected by the Republic (in general), and suddenly, someone wants five clones on their squad? Unbelievable.
However, Hunter knew you were different when you first showed up and tripped over your own Jedi robe, got up, smiled and extended a hand to him. There was something in your eyes that made you different from the rest of the Jedi.
The more time he spent with you, the more time he got to meet you. At first, it was the usual jokes to break the ice; usual, playful banter; calm nights talking to his brothers... That's when Hunter saw your sweet side. There's a point where he started calling you by your real name whenever you were alone.
He literally became your protector, keeping you out of trouble whenever he could, avoiding food cantina fights so that you wouldn't get hurt, etc. He knows you can defend yourself, but there was always something that made him protective over you and his brothers.
Another reason you gave Hunter to be more protective over you was the fact that you got scared pretty easy. And, cherry on top, whenever Hunter saw you with regs, he'd become jealous and probably try to get you away from the regs as much as possible.
He didn't make it super obvious, of course. Then, he realised he might have fallen for you. However, he knew it was unprofessional, so he'd keep it to himself.
Though, he could not hide the slight blush that came over his face whenever you teasingly brushed your fingers against his calloused hands.
ECHO:
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Now, Echo was happy his squad assigned to a new general. Ever since Skako Minor, he felt like the Republic had done little to nothing to try make him feel normal again. However, he was insecure about his general seeing him and rejecting him in some way.
Nonetheless, he immediately fell for you when he saw your bright smile, as your eyes came in contact with his.
Unlike Hunter, who took a long time to realise he had fallen for someone, Echo had the love-at-first-sight type of problem and he swore he'd keep it to himself. It was unprofessional and you were his general.
He found it endearing to see how scared you were of basically everything: bugs, surprise hugs, animals... However, that did not stop him from blushing every time you jumped in surprise and held his shoulders for support.
He's definitely protective over you, but he knows you can handle things. He trusts you completely and knows you won't get in trouble. He's not possessive nor jealous in any way (he's too sweet to be possessive).
Yet, he still feels a bit jealous when you prefer talking to the regs and sometimes will try to make a friendly conversation so as to keep you with him.
Again, Echo knows what he's doing. He knows he shouldn't confess to a person that's a higher rank than him.
But, his face turns red when your hands rest on his waist for a few seconds.
WRECKER:
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Let's all be honest, Wrecker does not care who you are, as long as you like hugs. Because Wrecker gives lots of those.
When he first saw you arm wrestling a reg and you won, this man was ready to spar with you for the rest of his life. You were also very nice and polite.
I reckon Wrecker laughs when you get scared. Though, he does become serious and protective when there's something truly menacing happening.
He will not be bothered to beat up any reg if they're disrespectful or just mean. You're one of his only friends besides his brothers, and he feels the need to protect you.
He found out he was probably in love with you because 1) He asked Tech, and 2) He felt something pleasant in his stomach whenever you laughed.
Wrecker won't hesitate to show his love for you: whether it's by hugging, congratulate you for anything you do, let you sleep with his tooka doll...This man is not ashamed of showing how much he loves you.
He knows he shouldn't date someone in the middle of the war, but he can't help but hug you from behind and wishing you good luck whenever you go on a mission that's not with them.
TECH:
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At first, Tech did not care who you were. To him, you were just another Jedi general. He hadn't heard from you, so he thought you'd want Clone Force 99 for their strength and not their personality.
Tech didn't pay much attention to you at first. But, one day, he started rambling about hyperdrives and noticed you listening. You were paying full attention and he couldn't help but blush a little.
This smart clone will be a tad surprised at how much of a scaredy cat you are. Maybe, you'll receive a comment or two from Tech, though they are harmless.
This is one of the reasons why Tech became overprotective. He started placing you behind him whenever something -or someone dangerous would happen to be there.
And, around the regs, Tech will get into a verbal fight whether they're mean or not. He registers the feeling he feels as jealous, and he will try anything to get rid of it.
That's when he realises that jealousy is laced with having feelings for someone. And he figured it was you since he felt jealousy when you were with other regs.
Tech knows he's risking his and your position if anything happened between your two, so he'll stick to telling you how beautiful you are through flowers.
CROSSHAIR:
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Like Tech, Crosshair doesn't care either about who you are. He figures you didn't want to be a general for Clone Force 99 and you'd probably run away out of fear when you saw them.
At the sight of you, he couldn't deny you were beautiful. And he was genuinely surprised at you kindness, making him slightly fond of you the more time you two spent together.
Time passed, and he hated you for making him feel weird stuff on his stomach, yet he admired your sweetness towards anyone you met. This made you naive, but also endearing.
Cross will mock you for being a scaredy cat, but in reality, he will become more protective of you. Whenever a reg approached you, he was right behind you. He will listen what you are talking about, and, if things went bad, he will immediately come out of the shadows to protect you.
When he realises he's fallen for you, he tries to deny it and refuse to accept him. But the way you smile, the way you fight, and the way you are in general will keep him grounded.
There's a point where he won't deny it, and give subtle touches or a gentle nudge whenever he's around you.
Crosshair does not give a damn about the rules and the order, but he knows you'd risk everything, so he keeps his hands to himself most of the time (besides when he's doing the things from the prior paragraph).
However, the annoying butterflies will appear again when you stand opposite him whenever he's having a panic attack and you help him.
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I hope you like it, anon :p
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mental-space-x · 5 months ago
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Aaand the results are in....
I won again! It wasn’t quite the all-out resounding success that I hoped it would be but it was still a win for me. So, I had a big breakfast and ventured down to the court room for 9am. I wasn’t supposed to be there until 9:45 but they allowed my folks and I in the door and allowed us to store our bags in one of their video conference rooms. We waited there for hours, the officer of the court

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keerysfreckles · 7 months ago
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enough for you — MV1
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pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader
summary: max finds himself at the losing end of a bar fight, and he has no where else to go but your own apartment.
warnings: she/her pronouns, google translated dutch, slight swearing, mentions of blood/injuries
a/n: idk how i feel abt this one..
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ ïœĄ ⋆ à­šà­§ ˚
you haven't heard from max in years. the two of you had an awful falling out. years of you being best friends, turned into a budding relationship. only for it to be thrown away when you caught max with another girl in your apartment.
you hated him for it. you still do. since then you haven't spoken a single word to each other, and you were hoping to keep it that way.
nothing changed in your nightly routine as you re-heated left overs from lunch, and put on a classic romcom you found on netflix.
your life definitely changed when you and max stopped talking. charles and carlos stopped going to your apartment. you didn't hang out with lando or pierre as much anymore. most of the grid completely ghosted you, besides checo. he knew how hard it was for you to move on after max, he was there for you every step of the way.
your routine however was interrupted by a loud knock on your apartment door. you paused the movie, just as jane was about to show kevin all 27 bridesmaids dresses.
you look over your appearance quickly in your small hallway mirror before opening the door.
"what the hell are you doing here?" you snap.
max fucking verstappen was on the other side of the doorway. his knuckles dark red, stained with blood. his hair was messy, also containing remnants of blood. as if he wes running his fingers through it on the way here. a small bruise started to form underneath his eye, only going to grow in the next hour.
his shuddered breathing took over as he spoke, "i had no where else to go liefje." darling.
you immediately shook your head, "don't call me that."
all max did was look down, another thing seeming to go wrong for him tonight.
you open the door wider and step to the side, silently letting him in your apartment. all of the memories come flooding back with every step he takes, in the space he used to live.
you ordered him to wait in your bedroom while you went in the opposite direction, torwards your bathroom.
you grabbed everything you could; wipes, bandaids, disinfectant. you quickly went back to the kitchen to grab an ice pack for his growing bruise.
"het spijt me, liefje," i'm sorry darling his voice is raspy when you sit beside him on your bed.
you don't respond at first, thinking of the right words to say. you simply hand him the icepack as you start cleaning his left hand.
after moments of silence, your curiosity gets the best of you. "what happened?" you ask.
his adams apple bobs, before he takes a deep breath. "these guys at the bar i was at were talking about you."
your eyebrows furrorw, "me? why would strangers be talking about me?"
max turns to face you more snd shrugged, "one of them mentioned being on a date with you, and all they could think about was," he pauses. you stop your movements and look max in the eyes, encouraging him to go on. "he kept saying how much of a bang you'd be."
you and max both grimace. you knew what he was reffering to though. you were planning on going on a date later in the week with a guy you met from one of your friends. you make a mental note to yourself to stand up the asshole.
"so why did you get into a fight?" you continue wiping the blood from his knuckles, hearing him hiss before he spoke again.
"i couldn't just sit there while he was talking so badly of you. so i asked to talk to him outside, and i tried defending you. i really did."
you run your fingers over his hand, calming him before he starts to ramble.
he continues, "it was no use though. he obviously won," he sighs, his shoulders dropping.
you still couldn't believe the words that came out of max's mouth. even after years of silence between you two, he proved he would still do anything for you. you couldn't help but let your heart beat for him.
his eyes land on your intertwined hands. "i've missed you liefje." his voice is quiet, and you think you've heard him incorrectly at first.
you chuckle drly. "don't. don't do that max."
he brings his hand away from yours. "what? i can't be honest with you anymore?"
you shake your head for the second time tonight, starting to get tired of max's moodswings again.
you don't know why you let max in again in the first place. in your apartment, and in your heart. maybe you thought he changed, but that wasn't the case.
you throw the supplies down in your bathroom, not caring where they land in the process.
"get out," you storm into your room.
silently, max stands and heads in the direction of your front door.
"glad to know you haven't changed," he mumbles, probably thinking you dont hear him.
"excuse me?"
he turns, right before he was about to leave from your life again.
"you were never one to deal with change. when my feelings started changing about you, you threw me out."
you can't help but laugh, "no, no! that is not what happened. you cheated on me after i told you i wasn't ready to move to monaco with you."
max rolls his eyes, only irritating you more.
you move around him to open the door, "get out," you demand again.
he does as you say, rubbing his hands over his face and sighs.
"i've never stopped loving you," he states, just before you slam the door in his face.
you shake your head once again, but he continues.
"i still care about you, and i know you still care about me. you wouldn't have let me in tonight if you didn't."
"just leave max," the irritation starts making it's way to your throat, making your words tight.
max shakes his head, "i can't leave knowing damn well i want you in my life again."
"what if i don't want you in mine?"
max places his hands on his hips, "we both know that's a lie."
"wha–"
max points behind you, "you still have the tv stand you and i put together right after we started dating."
you're about to tell him to leave again, but he continues.
"in your room, you still had the paintings we made on our third date after we both got drunk. your shoes are still organized by color, thanks to my doing. you still have the ice pack i gave you when you hit your head at my place trying to cheer me up after a bad race."
you're at a loss for words, speechless because of max's confession.
"i still love you liefje, and i don't think i can ever stop." his voice cracks. once you don't answer his shoulders drop again. you watch him finally leave your doorway, walking into the rain that started to drop from dark clouds.
you cover your face, contemplating what you should do. part of you wants to close your door. to let max out of your life once and for all. but the other part of you wants to run to him. to hold him again.
you run out of your apartment, without shoes and without a jacket. you weren't entirely sure what you were doing, or what you were going to say. but you couldn't turn around now, you were already grabbing on his arm.
"you remember those things?"
max is quiet, looking down at you. you wonder what he could be thinking. but right now you can't help but make a fool of yourself.
you start to ramble, as your words come out rushed.
"max you know i can't leave you. i– i just can't. you cross my mind more times than i want to admit. i don't hate you, and i don't want you to leave. sometimes i turn on a race just to know if you're still doing okay. i haven't lived my life properly since you left. and yes max, i know i'm supposed to be mad at you, but truth is i can't."
you finally stop to take a full breath, and you make eye contact with max again. you see the small smirk resting on his face. his now wet hair was causing water droplets to drip down his forehead and onto his nose.
"are you just gonna stand there and make me continue rambling?" you wipe the rain from your eyes.
max shrugs with a playfulness hidden behind his words, "yeah, it's kind of cute seeing you flustered."
a blush rises to your cheeks, at his next words.
"it just makes me want to kiss you more."
within 2 seconds, max's hands cup your cheeks before he connects his lips to yours. you grab onto his wrists gently, stabilizing yourself. you've missed his lips more than you want to admit. the softness of his lips is contradicting to your own chapped ones.
you move your hands to his hair, gripping at the short strands towards the back of his neck. a beautiful throaty groan fills your mouth, and god you've never wanted to be closer to him than you are right now.
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castellankurze · 1 year ago
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Here's the thing that interests me about the dueling scene in Gideon the Ninth. Yeah, the narrative phrasing Harrowhark rose to the occasion like an evening star is peak and the line "Death first to the vultures and scavengers" is pure fire but why is she in that position to begin with?
The situation is thus: Camilla Hect has just won a duel against Marta Dyas attempting to claim the Sixth House's necromancy challenge keys, but she was wounded in so doing. Naberius Tern, backed by Ianthe Tridentarius, is pressing a dueling challenge against the injured Camilla in a flagrant bid to beat Camilla down and take the keys for the Third House while she's already recovering from one match. Gideon is standing by watching things unfold and, to her relief, Harrowhark steps up to put Gideon in the ring as a substitute for the injured Camilla and thus shut down Naberius' vulturing.
Except...why? You'd think that in anything like a polite societal dueling code (I know, I know, but go with it-) Camilla and Palamedes would have the option to demure, saying something like "the Sixth House cavalier just fought a duel and is wounded to boot, piss off for a day and we'll see then." But that's not even floated as an option. Palamedes isn't a dumb guy - far from it - and even if he were out of his element, you'd think someone else could just lean in and say 'dude tell them to shove it.' Judith Deuteros objects by saying "There are rules" and Ianthe shuts that down by pointing out she pressed Marta's duel on incredibly flimsy pretext, so that seems to be an objection on the grounds for presenting the challenge, rather than probing for an option to refuse. If Harrow and Gideon (or Jeannemary, jumping on the bandwagon) hadn't interceded, Camilla was about to fight her second duel back to back.
(Even in the first dueling challenge, the tone of onlookers seems to be that people want Palamedes to default and hand over his key to the Second House to spare Camilla the fight, because they assume the Sixth House is weak and don't know how good Camilla is.)
To sum up: the Sixth House seems to have no recourse but to either accept the repeated dueling challenges or default; with no way to decline except to give the Third House something they want (in this case, a Canaan House key).
That's insane.
And if that's deliberate, rather than an oversight on Tamsyn Muir's part, that suggests so much about the Nine Houses' dueling culture. It suggests that a challenge from a cavalier primary can't be refused; you have to either throw down or roll over as if they won. It speaks to a distinct lack of value placed on human lives, that the cavaliers are forced to accept a challenge on pain of their house losing face at best, something material at worst. The defending house can only negotiate to a degree that the attacking house is willing to let them. This is, depressingly, fully in keeping with the series' characters' treatment of the cavaliers. The subsequent books and short stories (especially The Unwanted Guest) really hammer this idea in, that the cavaliers are nominally viewed as a source of blades and shields in the hands of the necromancers, even if the laypeople of the setting don't know all the reasons behind the traditions.
In real life, formal dueling typically had customs and rules for negotiation and ceremony, with multiple exit points for parties to back out of a potential threat to life without losing face. Only truly aggrieved parties would press a suit to the point of confrontation. The Nine Houses say screw that, put up or shut up. They've more or less raised up the informal tradition of 'swords now motherfucker.'
To steal a phrase from another tumblrite, 'congrats god that's the worst anyone's ever done it.'
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fazedlight · 8 months ago
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Supergirl the show poses a question: Who is the real Kara?
Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers, Supergirl. Who's the mask?
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In the beginning, Kara doesn't even know. In the aftermath of Krypton's and Kenny's deaths, she did everything she could to appear as normal as possible - there was little room for her own innate traits to shine through when she was being as nondescript and people-pleasing as possible.
But that's not who Kara is.
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We get the first glimpse of who Kara really is during Flight 237.
This is not about her being Supergirl or her powers (though both are relevant). Kara has suppressed herself for over a decade. She's not going to make waves - until she has to. Our first real insight into who Kara is now is as a devoted sister. It wasn't until Alex's life was at risk that Kara started breaking out of her shell (and then there was no holding back).
Our protagonist is a mid-20s adult - this isn't a coming-of-age story in the traditional sense. But it is a story of finding oneself and what it takes to get there.
And it starts with defending found family after a lifetime of loss.
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So Kara creates the Supergirl persona. I think the cape is a crutch.
People say "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. But crutches are actually pretty fucking useful. They support you when you need it, whether it be short-term or long-term. They help you get around when you otherwise may not be able to.
Kara was deeply traumatized by losing everyone and everything she ever knew, being thrown into a world that overwhelmed her senses and made even her most casual movements into dangerous ones, and was told she needed to suppress everything - who she used to be, what she was going through now - to survive.
To find herself again, maybe she'd need a tool to get past what she had been through! The cape became that tool. She was able to unbury the heritage she had been hiding, she was able to embrace the powers that had burdened her, she was able to find her own bravery (and reactivity, she's got flaws in there too).
Keep in mind, in the scene above, Kara isn't "human for a day". Kara is powerless... just like she spent the first 13 years of her life. Her bravery isn't about her powers or Supergirl; they just help her get started.
That's not where her growth ends.
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Kara's instincts for helping people start getting unburied in season 1, and she is excited to tag along someone else's quest to figure out where future threats may lie, or figure out how she can use her powers in service to the DEO.
But it's not until this moment that she realizes that Kara Danvers can be more, too. Lena unintentionally launches Kara's career - a second pathway for Kara's desire to help people, growing into a passion she is going to pursue (even if she gets fired). Her worth is no longer just about her sun-granted powers or being Superman's "younger" cousin.
In season 4, we even see her realization that Kara Danvers can be more powerful than Supergirl, because some fights can't be won by fists. That's a real discovery for herself.
Which I think, looking back, might becoming especially baffling for her... because Kara Danvers was originally an identity imposed on her when she needed to hide.
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It's important to note that, while Kara Danvers was originally a facade that Kara gets at thirteen, she doesn't stay a facade - even in the suppression era.
We don't see enough of who Kara is when she's on Earth, left to her own devices. But we see glimpses - we know she likes baking (and we know we shouldn't try what she makes), we know she paints, we know she listens to NSync and Britney Spears. She's a goofball (even when she puts on the cape). Kara Danvers starts as a facade, but becomes a vehicle for Kara to continue developing her personality, now in her new context.
Would she have the same interests on Krypton? Maybe some and not others, maybe some new ones that don't exist on Earth. We're all products of our environments, after all. Her interests as Kara Danvers aren't necessarily fake just because they're different than what she expected.
Though she'll never know who she would've become on Krypton.
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Which brings us to Kara Zor-El - the identity that is frozen.
Most people aren't the same person as an adult that they were as a child. Interests, tastes, personality, world outlook, philosophy - all of these shift over time, sometimes dramatically.
Parts of her are going to be deeply rooted in Krypton, and she's going to have ties to a culture that no one else on Earth has. It's not an aspect of herself that she can erase. But it's also not an aspect of herself that was able to develop for the remainder of her childhood and early adulthood.
She, like all of us, was destined to lose pieces of herself. But some of her loss was very sudden, and the pieces she lost probably weren't going to be the same on Krypton. Of course, she has no way to know.
And I think that frustrates her.
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I guess my answer to "Who is Kara?" is that the three personalities clash with and harmonize with each other. None of them are truly her. All of them inform who she is.
There's a young Kara Zor-El as her root that was torn from the ground before she could ever grow.
There's a Kara Danvers who formed the bulk of her life - a mask that was given to her, the only vehicle for her personality, who ultimately became someone she could embrace as worthwhile in her own right.
There's a Supergirl who distinctly separates from those around her, but lets her move past her numbness and reclaim her heritage.
And it's that clash that makes her a particularly compelling character.
Maybe that's a cheating answer to the original question.
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But there's still a missing piece to the puzzle - because it's not just about Who is Kara? but also about Who does Kara want to be?
I think Supergirl is something that could fade if needed. If Kara lost her powers, she would find a new normal, so long as she was able to pursue her desire to help the world in some capacity.
But the truth of her is somewhere between Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. The truth of her is in what Supergirl allowed her to unbury, even if not directly tied to Supergirl herself. But Danvers and Zor-El are burdens, in a way. Lena is one of the few people who sees the person in between, who understands Kara on her own terms. Which is why Kara is terrified of Lena's rejection.
I think it's one of the most telling lines in the show - to be just Kara is to be free of her own baggage, to be able to embrace herself despite the pain in her history. Something I think we all want, that is never entirely possible.
But the pursuit is still a worthwhile one.
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m1d-45 · 26 days ago
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bloodletting
summary: a budding god needs a place to test their new powers, and childe was always a little too eager to lose a fight... a match made in heaven!
word count: 1.7k
-> warnings : minor AQ spoilers ? just like, general gi plot.. fairly graphic depiction of blood + other injuries (might be classed as body horror???). generally obsessive tendencies (childe <--> you). i cannot stress this enough, reader is 110% a sadist.
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
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power was not something that came easy. it was fought over, stolen, defended with teeth and claw, tides of blood shed just so one could have power over another. social, physical, financial; no matter the leverage it provided, power was hard won. to give someone power was to admit defeat, a certain death that tartaglia had learned and taught more than his fair share of times. nobody undeserving of power ever held onto it for long; it was an acknowledgement that you were better, that you deserved it, that you’d won. power was a fickle resource that childe would kill to keep, only ever laying down his blade for a precious few.
the tsaritsa, of course. his fellow harbingers, skilled both on and off-field, who themselves could rival the archons. his family, for whom he’d happily give the world.
and naturally, who would be more worthy to hold power than you?
you, not just a god but the, the highest authority across all of teyvat. you bore a hundred names and a thousand monikers, your worship the one thing the world could agree on. granted, nobody could quite agree on how, but that was fine. childe did not need external powers to tell him what to do. he knew, in his deepest heart, that he had gotten it right.
he knew—and, on occasion, flaunted—that he was your favorite. of all the vessels you had chosen, you returned to him time and time again, wishing on his stars until his vision gleamed. his bow shone with power, even his weakest weapon more than enough to push his strength to new heights. part of him wondered what he could do if you’d granted him swords, or a claymore
 but that was speculation for another time. didn’t it say something that you had still chosen him at his weakest?
the thought always made him smile. thick in the heat of puppeteered battle, before the sun to after dark, your presence was a constant in his life. at every altar, with every offering, when his hands stung from the rash of leather and his blade was covered in rust, your name a prayer behind blood-soaked teeth. he could not remember a time when his pocket was not weighted with a charm.
his devotion was no secret. he wore your bow with pride, entirely phasing out his other weapons. it didn’t matter that he was technically more controlled with them, for you had chosen this path for him. your word was his guide, a polar star through bitter nights.
he did not doubt when your presence ebbed or flowed. who was he to dictate when or where you spent your attention? no, his faith did not waver. it had no reason to. he waited patiently, going about his regular duties, lingering in snezhnaya for no other reason that he just felt like he had to.
who was he to question to buzzing in the back of his head? who was he to decline when he felt an instinct to leave, to go for a trip far past the city gates? who was he to think himself better than the guiding light that had never led him astray?
for you, he was whatever you needed. and so he went, armed with a thick coat and snowboots, hands shoved deep in the pockets to hide the slight shake. down the main road, an arbitrary turn into an alley and down an abandoned path, into a part of the city he’d never traveled. but a golden thread had tied itself around his heart, pulling without hesitation. he easily hopped over the fence gate, not bothering with hauling it open through the snow. the path beyond was covered in a thick layer of powder, his foot crunching through a foot of it before hitting solid ground. still, he continued.
snezhnayan winters were not warm. they bit and dug into every gap in your clothes, stealing away the precious warmth within. and yet, with his half-done coat and incomplete guard, he was not cold. or, rather, he couldn’t feel it. his hands were pink with frost, stiff at the knuckles, but he couldn’t feel the resistance. his body was not important, not now.
the snow began to thin. it fell from his knees to his shins to his ankles to his toes, until he was face to face with a thick wall of bramble, impossibly overgrown. he was beginning to overheat in his jacket. twin blades made quick work of the wall, and the sight behind it easily dispelled any breath left in his lungs.
the air that washed out of the bubble was thick and heavy, like a humid spring instead of snezhnayan woods. his breath came in short gasps, a shameful wheeze that he hoped was missed beneath the howling snow. he didn’t want you to see him as weak, as someone so easily tired by a short trip to a falling star; he didn’t want you to think of him as anything other than his best.
but you didn’t push him away. you helped him up—his head was buzzing with delusion, he could hardly see, when had he fallen to his knees?—and brushed the snow off his hair, not pushing him away when he leaned into your touch. he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could barely collect himself enough to recognize that he needed to get you inside, away from the wilds.
that was power. to so effortlessly take over every thought in his head, to hold his mind in your hands and pull it into your liking, that was the power he adored you for. gods were figureheads of power, a physical incarnation of their dominion. a god of the entire world would only naturally have power to manipulate that world to their liking. how blessed was he, that he could be the first you made yours.
he was with you when you first stepped into zapolyarny palace, looking around at the chandeliers and fine tile. he opened the door for you to her majesty’s throne room, sucking in a sharp breath as you brushed by. he was by your side when the tsaritsa swore you her fealty, delicately placing the gnoses in your hands.
and oh, how he’d fallen to the floor right then and there, dizzy from the wash of power that rolled off you in waves, an ocean that he willingly dove into. the floor was cool beneath his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin as sweat quickly began to bead. he didn’t bother pushing himself up on his hands, teeth sinking deep into his lip again to control his panting breath. copper bloomed over his tongue, filling his mouth and clogging what remained of his senses.
dimly, he was aware that he was being pathetic, that this would surely change your mind about him. he heard your voice, faint through the fog of his mind, your wisdom lost to his own inadequacy. and yet, despite his weakness, every part of him was tuned into you. he knew it was your hand whispering across his shoulders, he knew it was your influence that stole the breath from his lungs. he knew it was you, because it was always you. you were all he could think of, and now you were finally able to leverage your full power over his self.
he’d woken up in a hospital bed. saline dripped into his arm and the lights pierced his eyes, his head full of snow and iced over. and yet, the moment he was cleared for release, he found himself desperate to be back to your side, racing through the tiled halls of the palace and following the urgent burn in his chest. you would have been right to turn him away, to deem him too weak to stay by your side, but you didn’t. you smiled when he lost his breath and laughed when he wavered, brushing off his concern. you invited him with you—his lungs burned with the need for oxygen—as you twirled the gnoses between your fingers, as if they were toys or paperweights rather than objects of divine power.
divine to him. child’s play to you. a courtyard of snow was cleared in an instant, ripples of pyro melting permafrost while keeping the flora beneath intact, a lazy show of power that pulled little more than a slight hum from you in response.
he wasn’t so much a fool as to think he could teach you everything, or even something, about being divine. and yet he clung to your side like a sailor in a storm, watching as you grew familiar with the elements. he watched, stubborn and weak, as you stopped hesitating.
flowers bloomed as you walked by, crumbling to ash with the slightest look. electro jumped from your skin to his, a painful spark that drew his mind from his head, finally seeing your amused eyes instead of just mindlessly staring. you could—should—have just left him behind, but you didn’t. you instead asked for his help, taking his hand in yours and leading him to a quieter hallway of the palace. you didn’t comment on his thundering pulse despite the fact that you could certainly feel it, tracing a finger along the crease of his palm.
“i wonder
”
a claw of geo cut across his skin, a sharp sting that quickly welled with blood. he barely felt it, watching with detached awe as it filled up his hand, sliding over the edge and dripping to the floor. you didn’t show any emotion, just
 watching. his heart beat in his hands, a pool collecting on the floor, and still, you just watched. your other hand moved over the surface, barely an inch away, the blood collecting in a bubble beneath it. with a hum, your fist tightened, pain lighting up his arm. a strained grunt slipped between his teeth, hand flinching closed, brushing against the ball of his blood you had pulled from his veins. his hand was stained red, shaking in your grasp, minutes stretched into hours.
all at once, it dropped, forced back into his body as forcefully as it was removed. with a snap, the skin stitched itself shut, and you were again dragging him along like a child did their favorite toy.
you did that a lot. pull him aside and experiment with whatever new reaction you had discovered that month, week, day, hour, watching his reactions with unabashed delight. and he let you. every time, without fail, he eagerly followed, knowing full well he’d end up rigid with lightning or with ice crystals studding his throat. it was worth it, though. you always fixed him up, squeezing his hand with a whispered ‘good job’ that never failed to make him dizzy.
it didn’t matter what you did to him. it never did. even when his mind was hazy with pain and he couldn’t quite stand on his own, he never regretted it. unconsciousness licked at the edges of his vision, burning black stains that lingered even after you stopped, but he never once hesitated.
if you asked him to jump, he’d ask how high. if you felt like holding him underwater, he’d cherish every bruise. to be kept as a toy was still to be kept.
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