#and you guys just . . . never broke up
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Some couples meet on dating apps, mutual friends, other forms of social media, and so on and so fourth. You and Drummer!Sukuna, however, meet during band and music class.
Your instrument's designated section was, coincidentally, next to the percussion section, and you wanna know who stood right behind you? Sukuna, with his big ass bass drum.
Sometimes he played other instruments like the snare drum, but that's besides the point; whatever drum or percussion instrument he playedâbig or smallâhe always played it as loud as humanly possible because he knew it gave you the worst headaches known to man, and he liked seeing you yell at him in front of the rest of the band, if he had to be honest.
He liked when your attention was on him, but, today was . . . different.
He hit the bass drum with more force than usual, played the snare like a professional, and even did a little something something with the xylophone. But you never looked back at him once!
Didn't groan out of frustration, didn't snap your head back to give him a nasty glare, didn't even threaten to throw your music stand at him.
Unbelievable, he thought.
But then, an idea popped into Sukuna's mind, a wonderful idea.
Sukuna had made up a totally lame excuse, told the conductor he needed to speak to you urgently (emphasis on "urgently"), and he was able to drag you out of that stuffy classroom in no time, cornering you till you had absolutely no choice but to answer him. (and the asshole of the century award goes too . . .)
"Are you mad?" Sukuna started, to which he realized was a horrible execution plan once he noticed you wouldn't even look at him in the eyes.
"I'm fine."
"You're frowning."
"So what?" you snapped, finally turning to face him.
Sukuna laughed. "You're starting to kinda look like me."
"That's the worst thing anyone's ever told me."
"Nah, it's kinda becoming on you, actually. You look cute all frustrated like this."
"Frustrated? Frustrated? I am beyond frustrated! You know what you're doing, and yet you still have the nerve to ask me if I'm madâ!"
Sukuna slapped a hand over your mouth, muffling any words and curses you let out.
"I change my mind. You're not cute; you're kinda hot when you yell at me like this. Hah! maybe I should rile you up more often."
You finally managed to rip Sukuna's hand off of your mouth, before you began to walk away and back to class, saying, "Unless you want a trumpet shoved down your throat, I don't think so."
"Kinky. I like it."
#sukuna only managed to score a date with you because he promised he would leave you alone afterwards#spoiler alert: he didnt#he practically forced you to date him#and you guys just . . . never broke up#LMAOOO#em writes ËËË#sukuna x reader#ryomen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x you#sukuna fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna x y/n
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HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33
SAINTTT hello 𼺠thank you for sending a prompty!! 𼚠idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!
help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!
contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives
mattsun + campfire
"i told you we should've brought the spareâ"
"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."
"asshole."
lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.
you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?
(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed funâat least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)
"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.
and you hate it, becauseâ
lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.
you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.
with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.
you sigh.
leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.
you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.
matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.
the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. untilâ
"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.
"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."
then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."
"what?"
"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."
his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy
you don't know how to feelâ
"i can sleep in the car."
âbut you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.
so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."
"are you sure?" he stares at you.
you nod.
after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.
itâs much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth youâve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.
he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.
"issei," you whisper.
he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.
"it's cold."
for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.
but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to beânoses touching and all.
"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.
you nod, your head shifting up and downâwhich, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.
in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.
"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.
his question settles into the small space you're in.
your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.
when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, becauseâ
lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.
#mattsun x reader#matsukawa x reader#hq x reader#shotorus.workbook#WAAAAAH i hope u like this saint !!!#ive never rlly written mattsun in length before so i hope i captured him enough ?????#i feel like he's such a tough balance to write (bc i am not witty at all and i feel like he would be HAHAHA)#anyway !!! some stuff abt the fic: the split was amicable for the most part#but the reason why makki says reader and mattsun have stuff to sort out is because there's like a weird tension~~ that he feels around them#and its kind of like. they bicker? and snap at each other like exes do but also it's just like. why do u care abt what the other does so mu#if you arent together anymore ?? typa thing. its like. they argue but in a way couples normally do if that makes sense#HONESTLY MAKKI WOULDNT HAVE ALSO MINDED STAYING WITH THEM cos he likes to watch HAHA but i think#he joined iwaoi more as a 'ill give u guys time together to fuck it out or wtvr just dont be weird on iwa's bday' typa thing#they were also together for a while! friends first and everything hmmm the reason why reader broke up with him#can be up to you! but my intention was for it to be something fixable and just more fitting for a 'break' typa thing#not necessarily a breakup#also the iwa car went ahead and they have the spare tire so they can go back and help but better in the daylight#i think thats all !!!#i hope you like it !!#ask#rep#saint.đŠ¸#honestly these just keep getting longer hAHAH i should follow my 20 minute cap more#ask rep answered#heartsyougave
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it đđđ
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle đ I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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If you want to walk around as low res Jiang Cheng for no reason, go here.
You can toggle Run/Walk with shift key. Movement is WASD. Reorient the camera by clicking and dragging. You can also zoom in/zoom out of the model using native gestures (mouse middle part, two finger swipe, whatever is proper for your computer).
Feel free to take the model. The file is called "exporttest4.glb" but you'll have to negate the x and z axis values because I messed up and didn't know how to use Blender. And idk about the clothes I didn't separate them so no extra physics.
#jiang cheng#i finally did it!!#if you gass me up enough ill put in a jl to follow you around#i just wanted to do this to see if i can. and i can. goated#awesome sauce.#to think i was gonna have to restart but then found a way to do this 100x faster. insane and so clutch#hey guys wanna make a game to make up for the mdzs official game that was supposed to happen but got cancelled?#ahaha....jk....unless.....?#[insert funny joke i was gonna day but got shut up by NDA]#[insert another funny joke here but tencent gonna come for my broke ass]#i will never forgive myself for having to flatten his ass to keep it from clipping massively#jiang cheng mdzs#mdzs#Theres no clothes physics. just wanna mention why his flowy parts actually just stick to his legs#ill do it if i go all in for this
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Melt down every golf club in Alola and use the material for better things!
WHO'S WITH ME?
personally i feel the issue isnt the clubs and more the fact that golf courses themself are incredibly large areas of perfectly maingained open space where very few native flora and fauna can actually thrive that take an unreasonable amount of water to maintain, while only really being usable to peopl3 with not only a lot of money but that also enjoy golf. the clubs can have actual uses outside of the worlds worst sport such as for mini golf (the worlds best sport) or perhaps as a back scratcher. like if you want to play soccer you get a ball thats okay for kicking, walk outside, and decide what the nets are. for golf you need a huge amount of space and to pay a good amount of money every time you actually want to play actual golf and not one of those mini putter things you get for kids.
i like golf its actually somewhat fun to play with friends and family and stuff that being said the amount of fucking space and resources it takes up is not fucking worth it.
#//you guys ever think about how its implied guzma broke the golf clubs himself in anger and how everyone interpreted it to abusive father?#//only slightly related to golf i just think about it. i dont think his parents werent abusive i think they coulda been#//i just think being like oh the clubs are broken cause they were beating him with them diminishes guzmas anger issues#// the clubs are a great subtle way to show how upset guzma would get over second place and stuff#//and how much hed lash out at the slightest failure and i feel like taking that away and twisting it to oh he didnt so it#//hes never done anything bad in anger its his parentsss takes away part of that from guzmas character#//idk this may just be my personal way of thinking from someone who grew up with similarly destructive anger issues#//and had to work through that while also having shit parents#//also if guzma was being beaten with golf clubs enough to break the clubs he would have died#//those things can be lethal#maple moment#pkmn irl#pokeblogging#rotomblr#abuse mention#<- in my ooc tag rambling but still
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Incoming... long lost love ex!geto who comes to see you for one last timeâon the night that he's going to die.
#this is going to be angsty as hell but LIKE THEYLL BE FLUFF IN IT TOO#BUT ANGST#SINCE IT'LL BE SCORNED!READER#since geto just up and leaves you 10 years ago#the hate fucking will be insane#BUT SINCE THE LOVE IS STILLL THERE AND NEVER LEFT THIGNS GET ALL SOFT AND MUSHY#AND THE CONVOS THAT YOU'LL HAVE THE REMINISCING THE DISCUSSION ON WHY U BROKE UP#ALL THAT GOOD JUICY STUFF#DO U GUYS WANNA SEE THIS SHIT?#IDK WHY IM REALLY ASKING SINCE IM GONNA WRITE IT ANYWAYS#ITS GONNA BE MY BEST WORK YET#LIKE AN ACTUAL FINE CRAFTED PIECE OF WORK#THAT I PROOFREAD AND STUFF#AND LIKE PUT ALL MY EFFORT INTO#its the classic 'when he's mean to everyone but you' trope#or the classic 'you know I'll always love you even when you hate me trope'#and readers all like FUCKKK YOU DUDE#since yk I always have to make my reader a bit of a meanie#but then its the 'when you wanna hate him but you just cant'#so... yes#here's a big#â
â emptalkshit!
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brainrot for the stupid lil shadow got to strong today
please enjoy my heavily headcannoned post-good end stranger design, obviously not in the right colors but i can only make the details so visible in all black.
#of course it was this fucker that broke through my months long art block#and my social anxiety since im pretty sure ive never posted art here before#of much of anywhere outside of artfight#also i have a name for this guy#originaly it was just gonna be a regular stranger#but too many plot-y details started popping up#so hes named GrowingPains#might elaborate on his deal if ya'll ask#or even if you dont#i like this guy#omori#omori stranger#omori au
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Alright! I've got some good news and some bad news! The bad news is that I haven't had as much time lately to binge watch one piece, and as such, I'm running low on sanji screenshots. The good news is that I've been getting a lot of submissions lately! So I've decided that I'm gonna keep doing 3 posts a day, but now it'll be only one from my own collection and the other 2 will be from submissions. I'll keep doing this until I've built up my screenshots a bit more, and then it'll go back to how I was doing it before (ie, 3 screenshots from my collection, and 1 from submissions if I still have any). That means it would really help me out if you guys kept sending in submissions! And thanks a ton to the people who've already sent in a bunch! I really appreciate it â¤
#not a screenshot#the timing on this is a little funny#I just celebrated my 500th follower and now it's like oops I'm broke!! (currency being screenshots in this case lmao)#anyway it's not a huge deal if I run out of screenshots#I can just start recycling my old posts from when I first started#but we'll see if it comes to that or not#believe it or not I used to have over 300 posts in the queue#but then the big sanji drought in dressrosa happened and it cleared out my sanji stocks#wci helped but I wasn't watching it as often by then so I never fully recovered. so sad!#also you guys would not believe how annoying and time consuming it was switching up the post scheduling in the queue#like maybe I just don't know what I'm doing (highly probable) but I wish the queue was a little more customizable
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monachan haul has arrived â¨safelyâ¨
#ft. the gigo collab merch that i had proxied s o b s#âhow many albums did you buy m y g o s hâ j-just these 3âŚ#thanks delivery guys for not notifying me when haul pt 2 was delivered lmao now my motherâs mad at me for not showing her what i got :(#âjust show her manâ d u d e sheâll lecture me about wasting my moneyâ wait nvm iâll show her my lls gk dvd that came in maybe thatâll help#im gatekeeping monachan from my fam idc if weâre related yâall c a n â t have her#b u t on another note the mona album standee looks really cute beside the new sena natsukomi standee#mona looks taller than sena in it but they just. look really cute next to each other aaaaa#though. yk. speaking of the gigo merch and stuff⌠man. i think i went to that arcade last year lmao#i didnt go up to the floor with the food and stuff since i was only there to play crane games and i was too lazy to climb the stairs#but seeing posts about the collab reminds me of the 1000 yen i spent trying to get ena pjsk nui in the mzen crane machine#i had. like. 4000 yen at the time and around 1/4 of it went to that machine⌠never forgive never forget#âwhy didnt you withdraw more money thenâ w e l l the debit card was with my bro and i broke off from the family to explore by myself s oâ#and that was how i spent my birthday last year. on the 4th or 5th (cant rem) floor of gigo trying in vain to get enananui#that doesnt have anything to do with monachan but i needed to cry about it somewhere ig lmfao#m a n. what am i even doing with my life lmao#o k thatâs enough of being annoying for one night see yâall for daily nagisa in a few hours byeeeeeeee
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one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)
but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:
"The postersâfeaturing Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his faceâwent up around the city on September 10, 2001"
and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"
to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.
anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this
it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week
so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?
another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number
#i just love old gay men so much lmao#and they seem to love me (or at least the ones in the second example did lmao)#also one of the other indicators that the first guys only knew about scott's personal life from his wikipedia page#is that they assumed the last boyfriend mentioned on there was someone scott was still dating to this day#and they were like ''oh i'm so happy to hear you have (boyfriend's name)'' meanwhile scott is like ''uh sorry we broke up 21 years ago''#meanwhile i'm like SAME NUMBER OF YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ALIVE SCOTT!!#to be fair scott hasn't had a serious long-term relationship since then so we have joked about my birth somehow being the antichrist#but just for scott thompson's romantic life. like there's some curse that scott can't be in a serious relationship until i am#which is very funny bc both of us did in fact have a date we were looking forward to when we got back from the tour#in my case mine is with a hot nonbinary person who works at the venue where scott did his boston show and that's how we met lmao#this is also why i was pissed off that my instagram locked me out bc i have hot nonbinary person's instagram but not their phone number#and i said i'd message them when i got back from the tour. which i cannot do#tempted to just message them as mouth congress (the one account i can still get into) and send them my phone number#maybe i'll do that if i don't get my instagram back by buddy's birthday#anyway maybe this is oversharing about both my love life and scott's love life but i just find it very funny#like i was never someone in high school who went on dates and gossiped about it with my friends#and now i get to have some bizarre version of that where my peer group is goddamn scott thompson????#between this and me pulling up the lowest show pic in like 2 seconds yeah maybe we are weirdly close lmao#but i wouldn't have it any other way
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Does anyone else go thru phases where you donât want to talk to anyone?
Like,,, I love you so much, but I just need to RECOUP. I need my alone time so I donât have another breakdown.
#Like dawg Ive interacted with 2 people and even then Ive been spotty#like I just need a break#I know its not⌠like.. good to leave people on read or just not respondâ I learned this in âFriendship 101â but it gets SO tiring to mask#like no offense⌠i will never take the mask off. its how I fuckin survive#but I want friends#I want to love and be loved#but unfortunately :( Im not skilled at keeping friends#and Ive gotten so jaded by being a revolving door of friends that Im not even sure I can properly get emotionally attatched to anyone#on top of that ive been so in so many abusive romantic relationships that it feels impossible to find ONE GOOD PARTNER#Its not even yearning at this point because Im not sure I can form romantic connections anymore#last guy I liked by accident#like ex bestfriends ex#but he ended up being a fuckin creep#about the blowup part? I had a total explosive breakdown#over the stupidest shit too smfh#not even worth the breakdown#Broke my laptop#Hurt myself#Everything ended up okay#like even my laptop works again but#it was a lot for me- for my family#i hate being a lot like that#thankfully my brother who had similar breakdowns in the past was able to calm me down#thats why my brother is my father figure: my actual dad will yell at me while Im sobbing profusely and my brother will comfort me#and make sure im not hurt#I love my brother so much#Ive had so many people come into my life and be like âyou love him despite all the trauma hes caused you?â#FUCKING YES#Like my brother was a survivor of fucking organized abuse. hes been through so much that it was only natural that he would blow up
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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also he was like we should still be friends and i was like okay but i don't want to talk to you for a while and he was like okay let me know when you're ready and then after like a week i felt fine about it and was like we should have a call to talk more about being friends and stuff and what that would look like and he was like i'm soooo busy.... maybe tomorrow.... and it's been like several days and he hasn't made any effort to contact me. okayyyy
#like i know you are busy but i kind of have a hard time believing that you are suddenly too busy to talk to me on the phone for 15 minutes#when up until now we called every single night.#idk it's just harder to be like. charitable with him about it. Like when I look back on our relationship i want to believe that he is not#the kind of guy who just doesn't care about me as soon as I'm no longer a part of his 5 year plan#but..... the evidence.#anyway i was also planning on addressing like giving back his stuff that i have but like#if he doesn't want to talk i guess his tool jacket is going to the thrift! and i'm keeping his amp forever idc!#i am a little sad about the frankenteddies. bc they were made out of eachother and like they are very much a set. the whole idea was that wr#could have something that's connected even if we're apart. and now it's like. something cute and sweet that i made that i'm proud of that i#will never get back. and does not hold its same meaning anymore because we broke up. and i don't really want his back anyway but i don't#want him to have it either. but i don't want him to get rid of it#and i don't want to get rid of mine but it feels weird having it knowing he probably still has his#i was thinking i might get some more stuffies and#add pieces to mine so that it's not so fully made of his. like something that will always have pieces of him but has pieces of others as#well. idk. kind of on the nose but yk. better than hiding it in a closet forever
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Can I be honest here. Finally accepting that I am an introject both explained so much and has been very healing for me. Like after being in denial for 5+ years finally just going "ok fine yeah maybe I am JD from heathers the musical" was like taking a massive weight off my shoulders. Me when I finally accept myself!!!!!! đŹđâ¨
#herbert speaks#it also just explained a lot#like âwhy do i have not real memories of dying in an explosion that are distressing to meâ (pointing at myself) YOU ARE JD!!!!#âwhy do i have such an obsession with 711 and slushies?â YOU ARE JD!!!!!!#i still want to fakeclaim myself real bad but im working on it đŞđŞ#the source memories became so much less distressing when i finally figured out what my issue is. like âohhh its just source stuff i see nowâ#finally accepting myself and learning to live with everything!! đŹđâ¨đŹđâ¨#kinda funny bcs I Am the Core too. like hey guys im the original person born in this body. im also JD from heathers the musical.#which means i can make jokes abt how if i wasnt a system id be a JD kinnie singlet đ terrifying thought tbh i cant imagine not being a sys#like what would i even do as a singlet. i would just be One Guy. what would i even do. i straight up cant even imagine that#cause even before i knew i was a system weird shit kept happening. like blacking out n when i come back my friends call me hawkstar now.#or like blinking and 4 days had passed and i couldnt tell u a single thing that happened in that time#the amnesia was badddd shoutout to system acceptance and knowledge being more available online bcs imagine if i never knew why this happened#imagine if i never figured out what a system was or found ways to communicate with my system or broke down amnesia barriers. .(shudders)#thats like. the evil timeline. where i never figure out wtf is happening to me#UGH I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW AND SEE MY SHITTY COWORKER that fucking SUCKS
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okay honestly. and i promise i will stop thinking about the deeply mediocre film argylle after this. but people have been talking about how confusing and how meta it is. but it isn't even that weird or meta????? like grow up! watch weirder movies
#like it's a movie where the plot deeply doesn't matter and you forget instantly upon leaving the theater which makes it kind of hard to des#cribe but that's not because it's overly complicated or meta or 4th wall breaking? like. and sorry to spoil argylle. lol.#woman is spy and steals incriminating information. woman is conflicted and plays both sides of conflict. woman hides information and then#gets captured. woman gets brainwashed into forgetting she's a spy and thinking she's a spy novelist. woman writes novels with memories of h#her past life which the spy agency hopes will reveal where she (spy) hid the info. action movie shenanigans happen. henry cavill is there.#like. there was a lot of eye contact with the camera in the first 15 minutes of the movie so i thought maybe they were going to directly#address the audience at some point but that never happened. and it never broke the 4th wall or really got meta at all??#henry cavill shows up at the end which maybe implies that there is also a guy in the world who is also agent argylle (and is not just her r#repressed memories but could also just be a fun easter egg to end the movie. and there's a midcredits scene (ben daniels) that ties it into#the kingsmen universe. but that's it!#you people would hurl if you saw the meta shit i was into#anyways again. this is the anyone has ever thought about the movie argylle. a movie i think i liked more than most people but is deeply mid#isabel.txt#sorry i saw the shakespeare fourth wall post and started thinking about this again.
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#i had such an odd dream#harry louis and zayn were there#they were crashing at my house for some reason????#louis and zayn in my old bedroom#and harry on another one#and at some point i had a doubt and i looked at my old bedroom wall to make sure my drawings of them weren't still on the walls#and harry asked me what's going on so I straight up told him âyou guys used to be on my walls#eh you still are but I'd rather keep it down in my new bedroomâ#and then we started talking about merch somehow and i was like you guys make way too expensive merch I'm broke#and i kid you not i went 'no but listen to me i have the perfect solution'#and i proceeded to say#if i buy merch from every single one of you it costs way too much BUT! if you guys get back together i just need to buy one LMAO#i said 1d reunion to Harry's face#sadly I didn't talk with louis or zayn they were there but there was always something in the way :(#and I don't remember but we had some kind of event for wich we dresses up#but i only remember that after harry was still in his white tux standing in my kitchen for a while either doing nothing or helping with smt#there were puppies around but seemed to be a separated thing#i never saw them interact#nor did i see harry louis and zayn interact#I'm still trying to make it all make sense#anyway sorry if you read all that#i just woke up
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