#and you get a genetic disorder

[lassie-farce]

As a 911 lone star whump and genetics enthusiast I feel like I’ve scored a double whammy in breaking Strands

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Not my idea, pointed out in Tiktok, but something had to be up with Martha Wayne if her alternate self becomes the Joker after seeing her son die.

Now, onto what is my idea; There definitely was something wrong, but it was handled for the most part until that point came up and she had a full mental breakdown over the event

And there are two ways she could’ve been mentally ill, and that depends on the time period you set Gotham back in

If it’s modern day? Martha could’ve been getting genuine medical help, seeing a psychiatrist and being properly medicated by some of the best doctors in the business. (Isn’t Thomas a doctor sometime too? They had to have trusted friends in the field to help her and keep it under wraps from the public) Maybe her symptoms are minimalized but still there in Bruce’s childhood and his young self can’t understand why there are some days where he just can’t be around his mother or why she has bad days, but there’s always his dad or Alfred able to distract him while the other keeps an eye on her in some other part of the Manor because there’s plenty of room to keep space when she’s not herself that day. Maybe, in that one horrible night, she breaks and doesn’t want to be there or lucid enough to understand that her son is gone and just falls further and further into the role she took up.

The worse outcome if it’s old Gotham? Lobotomy. Women who needed help and care having their brains irreparably damaged so they’re less to deal with, and what’s an eight year old to understand of what happened to their mother or how their mothers always been like?

[swagging-back-to]

it is not controversial to say that if you cannot finacially, emotionally provide for a child and/or your genetics would lead to them suffering then you should not have said child.

[yoinkschief]

Hello Jay, I would like to hear your headcanons about Tom and his mom 👀👀👀 Go on, speak into the mic 🎤

AAA HI NEIL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

Taps mic 🎤 ahem

Buckle in cause this got absurdly long I did not expect to get this long omll

So I guess I'll begin when he was younger,, when his mother and father first got married they were just going into their 30s, and while weren't actually trying for a kid they did end up having one: Tom

Barbara (Tom's mom) was ecstatic at having a kid whereas Peter (Tom's dad) was terrified, he knows he has anger issues and is very aware of how he's gotten easily frustrated with children in the past and doesn't want to get angry towards his soon to be son (though Barbs has been a dear with helping him and his anger, truly he'd be in jail by now if not for her)

Fast forward a bit, Tom's born and while Peter isn't magically cured of any anger issues, Tom is just the sweetest little guy and he, genuinely throughout his fatherhood, has not once gotten angry at his son. Gotten angry a good few things, but his son and wife weren't in that list

Tom is also born completely nonverbal (this is a little reference to how 2004 he's drawn without a mouth,,, I know that all the characters are at this time because mmm animation but in most fanart of 2004 only Tom is the one kept without a mouth because that and his one eye gives him creechur vibes I love it so I incorporated it like this) due to his autism, and he did get formally diagnosed early on due to this

It's a bit of a struggle trying to figure out what he's saying but he's a quick learner for how to read and write so if he can't get what he's trying to say through hand motions or actions he'll go and write it down (at least when he gets around 5yo, the years before were hard and they had to learn a weird, Tom version of sign language,, to clarify not actual sign language just learning what motions of his mean what)

One interaction I think about a lot with Tom and his mother is in Tom's youth when he's, maybe, 4? And he sees his mom shave her hair for the first time. Tom didn't like the sudden change as she looked like a different person and was having trouble understanding why it was gone

It took Barb a while to fully understand what he meant, why he was crying and whatnot, but finally able to sit him down in her lap he started making a lot of motions towards his own hair and then Barb's, and the interaction goes something like this:

"Are you talking about my hair?" Barbara quietly concerns, gesturing to her now bald head.

Tom made small grunts with wide eyes, rocking in his mother's lap incessantly.

"Okay, okay," She nodded holding her son's hand gently in her own- less so holding and more resting them in her own. "It's gone, baby."

Tom didn't seem to like that answer, shaking his head no with his hand reaching up to grab and tug at his his in distress. His eyes were screwed shut, why would his mom do that? But Barbara was quick to respond with carefully holding her son's hands again, their fingers interlaced as he squeezed on her hands instead in his temper.

"You don't like that it's gone?" She tilted her head to the side, bringing Tom's hands away from his face and towards her chest.

He shook his head no with an upset grunt, swinging his hands (and by proxy his mother's) side to side to drive the point further.

"Ohh,, pumpkin," Barbara gave Tom a sad smile, resting their hands in her lap as she gave him a small, reassuring squeeze.

"It’ll be alright-”

Tom hated that answer more, giving a frustrated noise as his eyes started welling with tears.

“Honey,” Barbara frowned at the tears coming out of her child’s eyes, it hurt to see him so upset, gently running her thumb along his cheeks to swipe them away. “I’m still mama, I’m still you mom.”

She led Tom’s hand over her heart, letting him feel the steady beating of it. The constant and steady pattern of thumping seemed to entrance him for a moment until his mild rocking and distressed noises slowly came to a halt.

“See? It’s still me, baby.” She cooed, running her thumb along the back of her son’s hand. “My hair is gone, but I’m here.”

“Sometimes, in life,” Barbara began, setting Tom’s hands down in his lap again now that he was calmer. “things change, and we can’t control it. Like my hair, you couldn’t control that, could you?”

Tom looked up from watching his hand feel the steady movement of her heart pumping, looking up at his mother’s face. He still looked displeased and upset, but less so, even going as far as to reach for where her hair used to be, trying to grab at the air around her head like it was still there. Fruitless.

She held his hand again, pressing it against her cheek with a broad smile, one she gave him often. He couldn’t keep his resentment for long, giving his own goofy smile back with a giggle. The way her gap tooth showed when she smiled that big was forever burned into his memory, only disappearing from her face so that she could kiss the palm of her son’s hand.

Tom shook his head, frowning at the thought but keeping a wide eyed expression to his mother as she continued her lesson. She smiled to him once again.

“Well, that happens a lot in life.” She sighed, cupping Tom’s cheek in her hand. “And no one likes it, you’re not alone for thinking that. But what you can control is how you deal with the change. Like how you showed me how upset you were, so now we’re talking about it. Do you feel better about it now?”

Tom took a moment, eyes casted down as he thought on it. He gave a small nod as he looked back up at her.

“Good.” She beamed. “And from now on, I’ll do my best to let you know beforehand when I make a change like that, alright?” She kissed Tom’s forehead, causing the child to give a small giggle. That was her favorite noise.

Now, Tom was always a Mama's Boy (not in a derogatory way, he just loved his mom a whole hell of a lot) but even moreso after his father died. They both were grieving and so it caused them to cling closer together because of it, to the point that had it not been for his friend (at the time only Matt, but later Edd too as this was before Tord was introduced to the friend group) he probably would've completely self isolated

They do a ton of things together as Tom gets over and they both eventually heal from Peter's death, baking, sewing, shopping, watch movies, anything they can do when they have the chance to hang out together

They were so close in fact that Barbara was genuinely the first person he came out to for being nonbinary (He/They pronoun user :) ) and of course she loved him unconditionally, but he didn't even tell Matt, Edd or Tord (now in Highschool and having been introduced to delinquent) that yet

However, later in his highschool years, around late Junior year (11th grade) or early Senior year (12th grade) of highschool his mother dies as well. Not from a freak bear with a gun attack though, instead from Pneumonia, which is something she tends to get a lot and always had in her youth, and while it usually isn't fatal and there is treatment and whatnot and she definitely took as much as help as she could, this time just hit different it seemed.

This really fucked with Tom during some of his most important years of his life and caused him to go into a BIG depressive episode for a long long time

Side note that I guess also kinda applies: Had it not been for Tord being just as stubborn of a jackass as Tom, he would've completely self isolated. Edd and Matt helped a lot in his youth but he also had his mom to encourage him, but now with his immediate family all gone he didn't see much of a reason to interact with people. And where Edd and Matt lack in persuasion, Tord more than makes up for in the lack of giving a fuck and would literally drag Tom outside even if he was kicking and screaming. This is mostly because Tord is second only to Tom himself in how durable he is, like a brick shithouse (built like one, too) and not afraid to make Tom hate him if it meant getting him better in the long run (a running theme I have for their relationship :) they're less so "GRR I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE /GEN" and more of like have this weird understanding with eachother where like "I'll literally kill you if you touch me but I'd kill anyone you touched you" type beat, unafraid to get the other to hate them for the greater good because they have the understanding that they wouldn't do something so wildly stupid for no reason. Yes that plays into The End and the future events of WTFuture)

I love them so much oh my god you have zero idea

Anyway, TL;DR

Tom and his mom are extremely close and helped each other get through the worst of times while Tom continues to learn the lesson of "everything changes, it's out of your control, and you can only control how you proceed with it"

[iamacolor]

and are these people in the room with us right now mr.i-haven't-cracked-one-single-joke-in-days ??

[chekovsphaser]

God I fucking hate diet culture. Apparently eggs are now an "unhealthy" food. As I was told (by my overweight father, who has been overweight literally his whole life) that the "reason I am fat" is because I have 3 scrambled eggs for breakfast. Right.

[crowempress]

I'm getting a test done to 100% confirm if I have celiacs or not next week (me and my doctor are already pretty sure from symptoms and my bloodwork) and as much as it would suck to have it I'm hoping it's an explanation and easy solution to all my fatigue issues

[marinecorvid]

Sometimes living with my mother is tolerable and sometimes she says shit that makes me want to bash my head against the wall

[artemisiatridentata]

been waiting to hear back for a while on genetic testing I got done to see if I have the same extremely rare genetic disorder that killed my grandpa earlier this year, and finally found out yesterday that I do indeed have it. yippee or whatever 👍

[ourceliumnetwork]

oh *now* she wants me to see a doctor about my joints doing things joints don't normally do.

bit late ma.

[uwudonoodle]

Some thin people: "You should stop eating junk food."

My dinner last night:

[quailboyfriends]

Why did it take me so long to accept my personality disorder and then get diagnosed with it … I was in denial of it for 4 years… also I am 100% sure that I could’ve gotten diagnosed as young as 12.

[yellowyarn]

YALL I GOT A DIAGNOSIS!!!?! Pediatric Hypermobility syndrome! which is basically hEDS but for people (<18 don't diagnose people <18 with hEDS (as of may 2023))

[lacefuneral]

fixed it:

Love how ADHD, autism and schizophrenia objectively have the same amount of traits and experiences in common, but schizophrenics aren't welcome in the metaphorical club house because they're bad for the image the neurodivergency movement is currently trying to capitalize on and with "love" I mean fuck y'all

[anachronistictrash]

I hate how I've been professionally dxed with most of the popular-to-fake disorders, because I feel like when I creep in here to complain that I'll be seen as an attention-seeking faker.

I actually really don't want attention thx, just screaming into the void.

[swallowtail-ageha]

Mfw half of the people from the village my father's family come from has the same ligament disorder as me....