#and you can't pick up a body unless they're dead so

[emmodii-mode]

In my defence, what was I supposed to do? Leave their corpses to rot?

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

(Genshin Impact) Giving Headpats to Furina, Lynette, Arlecchino, Chiori, Lumine, Jean, Eula, Noelle, Ayaka, Sara, Yae, Shenhe, and Xianyun

No one requested this, as for the reason this post exists, the only thing I can give you is this image:

Furina freezes up the moment she feels S/O's hand pick up her hat, only to ruffle her hair.

She squawks for just a moment, quickly blushing and pouting as Furina yanks her hat down.

(Furina) "D-Don't just start patting me out of nowhere!"

Crossing her arms, she looks away, trying to not look bothered about the whole affair.

She finds it highly embarrassing. At least in public.

The moment they're alone and she feels their hand, she closes her eyes and completely relaxes, humming in content.

There's still a blush on her, but it's far more subdued unless S/O starts teasing her about it.

Lynette does not like just anyone rubbing her head due to her cat-like features.

In public, the top of her head in general is completely off limits.

But if it's just her and S/O at home, then she allows it.

In fact, when S/O's hand starts petting her head, she leans into them completely as her eyes close, just like an actual cat.

Her ears twitch a little, but her tail swishes left and right happily.

If they stop too early, Lynette's eyes slowly open and looks at them expectantly.

(Lynette) "...Why did you stop?"

Feeling the warm of their hand allowed Lynette to rest comfortably, and to space out to her heart's content.

Arlecchino did the same thing to comfort many of the children at the Hearth.

Yet she didn't know what to do when S/O did the same, feeling her hair slightly ruffled.

If her S/O was taller (in which case "Dude, you look huge"), she really wouldn't comment on the height difference, but if they were shorter, THEN she'd be surprised they would even attempt it.

Arlecchino doesn't care if it's in private or public, but she would care if they did so in front of her kids.

Because then they'd see that she has someone that can make her comfortable too, which in turn makes them happy.

Seeing their father cared for puts them at ease, making Arlecchino thankful in her own way.

But as for the action itself: she would just talk to them in her usual tone, though with a bit of a "threat" lying underneath.

(Arlecchino) "Did you wish for me to pat your head too, S/O? I might be rougher with you than the others."

Chiori raises an eyerbrow.

(Chiori) "S/O, what are you doing?"

Once they explain themselves, Chiori can't help roll her eyes.

(Chiori) "Did you expect me to get all flustered from that? Psh, it'll take a little more than messing up my hair to do that. Speaking of which, can you fix it for me? I'm a little busy here."

She finds it cute, yeah, but it's not that big of a deal.

Plus, she finds it weird.

Who just goes around, patting their girlfriends' heads unprompted?

Oh well, it's not like this was particularly harmful, so Chiori lets it slide.

But if they do that in front of customers or in public, S/O is dead.

Lumine's body stiffens when S/O's hand ruffles her hair lovingly, before she quickly giggles.

(Lumine) "Hey, stand still!"

She quickly does the same back, though her retaliation is far more playful and destructive.

S/O's hair is an absolute mess now, Lumine giving a cheeky grin back.

(Lumine) "There, now you look better than before!"

It does not take long for the situation to quickly devolve into a tickle fight with both of them on the bed laughing.

Jean takes a moment to register what S/O is doing, but after a few seconds she smiles.

Jean lets her shoulders drop, feeling more at ease by the second.

So this is how Barbara and Klee felt when she did the same.

(Jean) "Your hand feels quite nice, S/O..."

She doesn't realize her own flushed cheeks as her vision becomes slightly hazed with her affection.

If anything, she feels a little sad everytime they pull back.

It was such a relaxing sensation, and honestly made her feel a little sleepy.

Eula's head feels a bit colder to the touch, but her body is rapidly heating up, especially her face.

(Eula) "What do you think you're doing, S/O?"

Hearing their answer, Eula pauses for a moment before responding.

(Eula) "Next time, you should ask for permission instead of rubbing my hair like I'm some sort of child...I don't recall asking you to stop either."

In classic Eula fashion, she doesn't tell them directly that she loves the feeling of their hands.

But she'd be damned if she was going to admit something so embarrassing.

Noelle feels a mixture of pride and embarrassment everytime S/O pats her on the head.

On one hand it felt quite nice, and the gesture was very sweet!

But it made her feel a little childish.

She never voiced her latter feelings aloud, because it still made her flustered all the same.

(Noelle) "A-Ah...Um, thank you, S/O...!"

It made her want to do her best everytime just so she could receive such affection, and made sure to do it back to them!

But with her strength, she accidentally completely dishevels their hair.

Before promptly fixing it in nearly an instant with her skills as a dutiful maid!

Ayaka exhales deeply, any words she had completely fading away in bliss.

These were the kinds of moments Ayaka longed for, to simply share affection with a lover of her own.

It made her feel quite normal as opposed to the prim and proper noblewoman she was forced to be.

(Ayaka) "If I may be selfish for a moment, might I ask for you to continue...?"

She'd be a little embarrassed asking for more, but her shame vanishes the moment she feels their hand on her head again.

Ayaka is too shy to initiate the headpatting on her own, most of the time having her hand almost reach her S/O's head before pulling away last second.

Sara flinches and leans away from S/O on instinct.

(Sara) "What are you-...M-My apologies, I was just not expecting you to..."

Her hand fidgets for a moment before Sara lets out a sigh.

(Sara) "If you wanted to touch my hair, you can just ask."

Now that she was actually ready for S/O, she enjoyed the feeling of their fingers brushing against her hair.

It was relaxing as she let down her guard and enjoyed the physical affection.

Needless to say, Sara absolutely did not want S/O to do this in public.

Seeing Inazuma's general get pat on the head so lovingly would obliterate her image.

Yae smirks as she leans her head closer to them, not saying a word at first.

Her ears twitch for just a moment as she opens her mouth to speak.

(Yae) "Well, does my hair feel nice, S/O?"

And before S/O knows it, her tail wrapped around their waist before bringing them closer and her the back of her head is resting on their lap.

Yae's hand waves nonchalantly, and her tone growing increasingly ever more teasing.

(Yae) "I expect to be pampered properly, S/O. You can't leave a job half-finished after all!"

Now, Yae expects S/O to tend to her hair, in public or private, she doesn't really care.

As long as there were some good reactions from S/O both was fine, though in public tended to provide the funniest result.

...Oh, and their hands did feel nice. But she'd figure it'd be more entertaining to let S/O figure that one out themselves.

Shenhe knows this feeling well.

Cloud Retainer did the same thing whenever she meant to comfort her.

And of course, the feeling is much of the same when S/O does it to her.

WIth zero shame or hesitation, she closes her eyes and the corners of her lips grow into some semblance of a smile.

(Shenhe) "Your hands are soft, S/O...They feel good."

Instead of leaning into them, she grabs their entire arm and has their hand stay stuck in place.

But Shenhe is careful enough to not hurt them during the process.

She opens her eyes and calmly asks them:

(Shenhe) "Can you keep your hand in place for a little longer?"

Xianyun had provided much of the same comfort to all her disciples before.

But never has anyone attempted to pat her head.

So when she feels S/O's hands do the same motion, she is stunned for a few moments.

Clearing her throat and adjusting her glasses, she puts on the best poker face she can.

(Xianyun) "W-Why did you feel the need to rub One's head, One is not feeling upset."

...The blush on her cheeks gave her feelings completely away, if the stutter didn't already do that.

Xianyun is far too proud to admit that headpat made her heart skip, and she would refuse to ever do so.

A mortal patting an Adeptus' head? Absolutely ridiculous!

...She wanted S/O to do that again.

[mcflymemes]

DRAMATIC & PROTECTIVE RELATIONSHIP PROMPTS *  for the ones who want to keep you safe from harm

get behind me.

go inside and lock the door and don't come out until i say so.

are you all right? where are you hurt?

over my dead body.

i promised them i'd keep you safe.

i sleep better when you're next to me.

are you serious? i'm not letting you risk your life.

don't go. it's safer here.

i should have been here. this is my fault.

here. take this gun. don't pull the trigger unless it's absolutely necessary.

they told me to watch you.

i won't let anyone lay a hand on you.

stay close to me.

i'm not worth saving. please.

can you stay? just for a little while? it would help.

it's too dangerous out there.

i thought i'd lost you.

can you hear me? hello? where are you?

they're all afraid of me.

they told me you'd be trouble. clearly that was an understatement.

one of us has to make it out of here.

is that a bruise?

get back. get back right now.

did they touch you?

i already lost you once. i'm not going to lose you again.

a few more steps. we're nearly there. i've got you.

where does it hurt? let me see.

oh my god, you're covered in blood.

i love you, but you have to go.

climb on my back. i'll carry you.

i wish you'd stay.

i slept here all night. i couldn't leave you.

stay with me. i can keep you safe.

no. i've made my decision. you're staying here.

holy shit. are you okay? what the hell happened?

we have to get inside right now.

quick! hide! in here!

if they know you're with me, they'll leave you alone.

if they attack again, we'll be ready.

this never should have happened.

i want you to run, okay? run and don't look back.

you're all right. you're safe. it's over.

i'll feel better once you're out of this.

i don't have nightmares when you're here.

where have you been? i've been calling you all night.

your phone went straight to voicemail. what's going on?

i don't want anything to happen to you.

i can't stand the thought of losing you.

i won't let them touch you.

when we met, i promised myself i'd keep you safe.

where'd they go? i'll give them a piece of my mind.

here. squeeze my hand if it hurts.

i'll lay beside you.

no. it's non-negotiable. you're staying here.

i don't want you to die, okay?

listen to me! i know what i'm doing!

i can't lose you again!

do you hear me? i love you! i've always loved you.

i've got you. i'm right here.

can i stay? i'll take the couch.

tell them you're with me.

you can make it. i believe in you.

are you kidding me? who decided this?

here, i'll pick you up.

get back in the car. i'll handle this.

if anyone can do it, it's you.

let me carry you to safety.

i don't do well when you're away.

[fallingsatellive]

Hi this is a positivity post regarding alterhuman diet dysphoria versus actual biology

(unless you already know these things)

To herbivore nonhumans who don't want to/can't do a vegan or vegetarian diet but feel dysphoric about being able to digest meat:

Herbivorous animals are not unable to digest meat.

Animal matter is actually easier for a body to process than plant matter, and herbivorous species need very complex digestive systems in order to support their lifestyles. This is why cows have four stomachs; why horses practically go into critical system failure if they get even a little bit sick. Animals that live mostly by grazing actually still do need nutrients that carnivores and omnivores get through their natural diets, which is why farming supply stores sell salt licks for animals. In the wild herbivores will quite often find ways to sneak some meat into their diets by eating bugs or small vertebrates, if you didn't already know about the fun fact of deer eating baby birds. "Obligate herbivore" meaning an animal that can ONLY physically digest plants is not a real ecological term the way "obligate carnivore" meaning animal that can ONLY physically digest meat is, though you might see it in other usages (i.e., referring to an animal that relies on a plant-based diet for all of its nutrients).

If a wild deer was given access to human society, they would probably not opt for veganism for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having a way to get sodium so easily. This isn't to shame anyone who does choose a vegan/vegetarian diet for species euphoria reasons, but more to reassure folks who can't, you aren't less of an herbivore.

To carnivore nonhumans who feel dysphoric that their body can't digest raw meat like wild carnivores can:

It can!

The reason you don't want to be eating raw meat like a wolf or stoat or monitor lizard is because you will get sick or you will contract a parasite, which might sound like just a different reason to feel disconnected from your species, but here's the main two things:

1. The actuality is that wild wolves and stoats and monitor lizards DO get sick and contract parasites. This is often how wolves and stoats and monitor lizards die in the wild and why ones in captivity, being fed parasite-free meat and having illnesses treated, live longer. There are raw meats you can eat safely, you just have to know where they're sourced from and that they're guaranteed not to have risks! That's why sushi is a thing, and why people say you can technically eat raw cut (not ground) beef but not pork or chicken. Cooked meat is also often tastier and easier for the body to process (cit.: Grug et al. 780,000 BCE) so that's why humans have loved their medium-well steak since they came up with it. And 2. wild predators are "able to eat raw meat" mostly because they killed it, so it's fresh and hasn't been sitting around able to pick up bacteria, the way raw meat you get at a grocery store would have. This is why a lot of prey animals have a "play dead" defense mechanism: most predators do not want to eat something that's already dead, because it might get them sick.

If a wild owl was given access to human society, they would probably not desire only the rawest of meats for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having access to food that had all the pathogens cleaned and/or scorched out of it.

[marksbear2]

AARON HOTCHNER X VICTIM MALE READER

My man, and I’m redoing and re posting some of my old fics since I don’t like how I wrote them.

⚠️THE UNSUB IS THE READERS EX.⚠️

He didn’t want to believe it was you. His world had came to a stop once he saw you were all bloody and injured on the floor inside the unsubs basement. His heart ached with anger and sorrow even guilt filled his heart.

His stomach felt sick and low as he stared at your ex then you. You were on the floor in your old blood. Aaron felt paralyzed like he couldn’t even breathe.

He felt like he should have known the unsub was targeting you. The unsub was your ex. 

They were targeting people who looked something like you. He knew how possessive and desperate he was for you. You told him and showed him pictures of them. One of the pictures you showed him was your ex’s body and face all tattooed everywhere and the tattoos were “Y/n L/n” all over his body. 

He watch paramedics pick up your limp body taking it into the ambulance. Hotch didn’t know whether to scream and shout or beat himself up for your kidnapping. Aaron stares at the unsub who’s on the floor handcuffed staring up at Aaron with hatred in his eyes. 

“So…You're my replacement. Y/n could have gotten someone better like me…” the unsub breathes out with a chuckle. 

Aaron balled his hands into fist with his knuckles turning white. Aaron stares down at the man feeling the rest of the team's eyes burning into his back. 

Aaron's jaw was clenched as the rest of his body felt like he was about to go animalistic on the guy. He didn't care if he lost his job or something he couldn't think about anything other than fighting him. 

"Agent Hotchner, we have to go. Cmon boys get em up." An agent finally says breaking the silence. Quickly the team begins to comfort the boss with all sorts of words.  

HEADCANONS!

— After that incident Hotch never left you out of his sight for a LONG time. He’d be at your sides at all times never leaving you alone for the smallest thing.

— He began to call sick for work and go on break to spend time with you and just overall wanting to make sure you're safe.

— Begins to carry you everywhere. He doesn’t want your wounds and injuries to hurt or re-open. He tries not to make it obvious that he’s treating you like glass.

— He knows you can take care of yourself, but he couldn’t shake the thought of him having to protect you. 

— Once he gets to see you in the hospital he begins to apologize profusely. He was on his knees by your hospital bed holding your hands tightly as he cried out a series of “I’m sorry.”

— He’ll cradle you in his arms if you have a nightmare since the incident letting you cry softly into his chest as he whispers against your head. “You're safe, I'm here.” 

— Jack will asks about your scars and if you’d let him he’ll trance your scars with his tiny little hands.

— He'll wait weeks, months, years even for you to be comfortable with him touching you in some places.

—The memory of you lying limp on your own blood haunts him every night. It will make him bolt up awake mumbling your name under his breath making sure you're still with him. 

—He probably pushes away the team and keeps to himself as he tries to cope until he can't hold it inside no more.

—Hugs are even tighter and longer between you two. 

-Lasting long kisses assuring the other that they're safe. 

—Aaron and you are trying to build back the foundation of being a happy family for both of you and especially for Jack.

—Aaron tries his damn hardest not to just shoot the unsub dead on the spot as soon as he sees the unsub hurting you.

— The team setting up you, Aaron and Jack to a secret vacation so y'all can finally feel at peace. 

— Aaron becomes more secretive of you and Jack, only speaking up about the two of you unless it's the team or absolutely necessary. He wants to keep you both safe.

—He becomes such a protective husband. Like he couldn't stop himself.

[mytheoristavenue]

BES Mizu x Single Mother!Reader HCs

Summary: How a relationship with Mizu would work with a kid running around.

Warnings: fem!reader, fem/masc representations of your child, child is from an abusive marriage, mentions of violence, mentions of mariticide.

⭐ Surprisingly, it was actually Ringo who inducted you and your child into the party during a time when he was separated from Mizu, coming across you having trouble getting into a village without a man to validate your travel pass.

⭐ After leaving that village, he insisted you both come along with him and, by extension, Mizu on their journey. You hardly had anything to leave behind, so you thought you had nothing to lose.

⭐"Oh, absolutely not." Needless to say, Mizu was none too thrilled about now having to take on the burden of a frail woman and an even more fragile child. "Ringo, take them back to wherever you picked them up from, we don't take on stays."

⭐ They bickered about the subject for a while, until Mizu eventually relented, deciding she'd simply dump you both off at the next village.

⭐ To her surprise, you knew a few trades, and your child wasn't as useless as she anticipated. You both could cook fairly well, forage with mostly success, and even sew. More often than not, after an altercation, Mizu would find you staying up late around the campfire, mending someone's clothes (often her's).

⭐️ Your child is also incredibly well behaved, obeying nearly any order they're given, and almost never whiny, unless hungry or tired. Mizu was relieved to see she wouldn't be traveling with a spoiled brat like the kids she'd grown up with.

⭐️ Eventually, Mizu began to appreciate you both for your company and contributions, even missing you when not in your presence. She did try to deny this for as long as possible, though.

⭐️ At some point, this appreciation grew into affection and even care. Mizu would become agitated if someone upset you, or came too close. She even once called your child her own when they ran into trouble in a passed village.

⭐️ "Get your hands off my (son/daughter/child) or you'll pull back a stump."

⭐️ Your child came back from that trip glued to Mizu's side and hasn't let go since. The feeling is genuinely mutual.

⭐️ Mizu sometimes brings things back for you both when she goes into villages without you. For your child, it's usually a toy or something sweet. For you, it could be anything from a new fabric or article of clothing to a personal keepsake. She ones brought you back a gold hair stick with beads of jade, for example.

⭐ She will insist that you and the child both learn some kind of self-defense, claiming she can't always be there to protect you, but she secretly hopes to pass down her swordsmanship to your child, as well as her blade.

⭐ Your body is a marvel to her. She has such a masculine and (by her standards) unhospitable body, that seeing your plump curves and stretch marks thrills her. She thinks your body was made perfectly with childbirth in mind.

⭐ Mizu refers to you as her wife in front of strangers and becomes increadibly hostile if that notion is questioned, or if anything ill is said to or about you.

⭐ "I think you'll find steeping away from my wife in your best interest, lest you find yourself interested in becoming another notch in my blade."

⭐Your relationship never really became offical, it still came to be over time. She never officially ocnfessed or asked for you to be hers, she just kissed you one day after months of mutal pining and it became so.

⭐ She came to see you, and only you, after being presumed dead, and before shipping off to London. Very quickly, she kissed you, told you to tell (C/N) that she's otu there somewhere and will be back, and asked you to promise to marry her whens she returns.

⭐ You say yes, in return, making her to come back safely, remidnign her that she had a wife and child that need her.

[kiradrabbles]

Ticci Toby x Afab reader NSFW alphabet

(hello! i may do an AMAB version of these if someone requests it :) in any case, enjoy!!)

A = Aftercare Toby isn't an expert on aftercare. He's mostly inexperienced with sex generally, and even then because he can't feel pain, temperature etc. he's not quite sure what exactly you need. But he'll get you a towel, and awkwardly offer you some water or a snack, hold you as close as possible and conk out on your tits cuddle you to sleep. Or he'll shower with you, but that ends up in another round usually. If you tell him anything specific, though? He'll make sure to do it every time, albiet a little nervously the first few. If he's bruised you by accident he'll kiss where he bruised and apologise, maybe get you an icepack if it really aches. And if you can't walk well? He'll carry you round 'till your legs work again.

B = Body part (his favourite body part) For an AFAB partner Toby is a tits man no question in my head. He's just.. A tits guy, what can I say? Flat chests, large chests, any. He'll smother his face in them and bite them and kiss them- also cuddle actually. Just use them as a pillow. Depending on how sensitive you are he'll incorporate this more or less into sex.

C = Cum Toby loves seeing his cum on you. That's it. He's messy too. He'll give backshots, face shots, tummy shots, anything and everything. This man is a menace.

D = Dirty secret Probably the fact that he's masturbated to you like.. A lot. And he has a ton of pictures he does it to. He isn't ashamed of it per se, he knows you know he finds you incredibly attractive, he just thinks you'll be creeped out by it.

E = Experience I headcanon Toby as a virgin, so you'd be his first.. Everything. Kiss, handjob, head, etc. So he's inexperienced - but he makes up for it with passion! Think about it, when would he have done all this? He was homeschooled for the majority of his life, and even then when he was at school he got bullied like hell for his tourettes. After he became a proxy he probably wouldn't have gotten the chance either. I guess he could have like.. Done some non-con stuff with a victim, but I really can't see him doing that idk.

F = favourite position He'll fuck in any position, but his favourite? If he's topping, this man will use his operator strength. He'll literally pick you up and fuck you. On the table, against the wall, he'd fuck you against a tree if you let him. He likes the power, and the view. Plus if you're held against him he can easily pop a titty in his mouth. If he's bottoming/taking it, mating press with him underneath. He likes the way you have a good view of his face, and can watch him moan and squirm. Plus he just likes the sensations.

G = Goofy (whether or not they're serious during sex) It depends, for Toby. Some days he's up for rough animalistic sex when he's feeling really pent up or stressed, During this he won't be exactly.. Serious, but he'll be too focused on everything else to mess around or make jokes with you. Otherwise? He can goof around a little. Play with you by picking you up and throwing you onto the bed, or biting places he knows you're ticklish.

H = Hair I think he'd be decently well trimmed down there. He wouldn't let it grow out into a bush, but he wouldn't be clean shaven unless his partner wanted it specifically. He also usually has a happy trail fuck you. Body hair? I feel like he doesn't bother to shave it (again, unless his partner prefers it). So he'll have hairy limbs and armpits. He also has some light stubble, which he shaves whenever he remembers, so it varies from clean shaven to the begginings of a beard.

I = Intimacy This man is NOT used to intimacy of any kind. Considering he only every got love from his dead sister? This fucker is probably so easily flustered, sexual or not. Anything non-explicitly sexual but still loving probably turns him into even more of a stuttering mess than he already is. Please kiss his scars and call him handsome and pretty and tell him he's deserving of love despite his disorders I'm BEGGING. Sex wise, again, it depends. Some days he'll just go wild during sex, if he's pent up stressed or just feels like it, other days he'll kiss you romantically and compliment you in between thrusts. He'll also adjust based on your preference.

J = Jerking off He jerks off once or twice a day, usually before missions and bed. He can't get a boner during missions (that would be awkward if nothing else) and doing it before bed is convenient. He isn't addicted to it or anything, and has gone a week or two without doing it on long missions, he just prefers to do so. Especially to a picture of his beloved.

K = Kink(s) Toby is a total freak in the bedroom. I'm talking period sex level freak. It would probably be easier to list what kinks he didn't have. But a few specific ones spring to mind. • Praise kink. Toby is happy to give compliments during sex, but receiving them? Oh lord. He's spent most of his life without compliments or praise, so having you do it to him during something so intimate? He'll turn into a blushing moaning mess. This one is more for when he's bottoming. • Primal play. Like I said before, he's a pretty animalistic guy. He'd love to (with consent ofc) chase you and tackle you down, or play hide-and seek and fuck your brains out when he finds you. Or just hold you down and breed you like an animal. • Cumshots. I mentioned it earlier but this man loves seeing you covered in it. Not only is it straight up hot as hell, he also thinks It marks you as his in a way. Possessive lil shit. • Begging. He also loves it when you beg for him, or he begs for you. He's into it both ways. When you beg for him it's hot because it's reassurance that you want him and find him attractive. Him and no one else. When he begs for you it's hot because he's being vulnerable, and theres something about being that desperate. • Marking. I'm talking biting you, scratching you, hickies and fingerprint bruises on your thighs. He'll kiss them better after the act of course, but in the moment anything that he gives to you makes him go haywire.

L = Location This man will do it anytime, anywhere if you're both feeling it. Bedroom, couch (if the other pastas aren't home), forest, you probably have to persuade him not to do it in alleways sometimes. Or just do it, if that's your thing all power to ya. He does slightly prefer private places though, as that way you can go for longer.

M = Motivation (what turns him on) What doesn't? One particular thing that comes to mind is seeing the marks of what he did the next day, especially if you don’t hide the hickeys with a scarf when out in public. It's embarrassing (and sometimes he feels guilty even when you assure him it's fine) but it also sends something in him crazy knowing you're displaying that you're his in public. The smallest things can get him in the mood, though. You stretching, wearing his clothes, complimenting him, sweating, anything and everything. Sometimes nothing, sometimes just seeing you.

N = No (boundaries) Shit and vomit are.. No go's for him. (He'll try piss if you're really eager). DDLG and Daddy in general make him feel predatory and gross, and also anything father related remind him of his dad which is.. Yea, not sex thoughts. And also voyeurism. Remember I said he was a possesive lil shit? Yeah. He ain't sharing you with no one.

O = Oral He loves oral, both giving and receiving. If he had to choose, though? He'd prefer receiving. He loves seeing you gag on his cock, and of course, cumming all over your face. (he'll clean you up after ofc). Not to say he doesn't love giving it either. This man loves eating. He thinks the noises you make are cute - and he also would not mind you sitting on his face.

P = Pace He's usually fast paced. He loves fast rough sex, both of you moaning and yelling and grabbing each other. Sometimes he'll force himself to slow down though, either to tease you or to make the most of it and enjoy every second, especially if he has a long mission coming up and won't see you for a while.

Q = Quickies He prefers longer sessions with multiple rounds, but he's fine with quickies. Sometimes he just needs to bang your brains out before a mission.

R = Risk You're in the slendermansion, everything is a risk. The walls are thin as fuck - at least you think they are? You've never heard anyone complain about you and Toby, but you've never heard anyone complain about the screams of whichever victim Jeff has brought home for some reason. Toby finds it hotter when theres a risk of getting caught. After all, worst case someone else gets shown point blank you're his, and it's cute seeing you try stifle moans.

S = Stamina This man. Can go. For hours. If you let him. The operator strength affects more than just his strength if you know what I mean. By the time he's done you're usually all fucked out. I'm talking multiple rounds, maybe a minute break between them? If you date Toby get ready to be able to hardly walk for a lot of the time. And you best believe he's a smug shit when he carries you around after. "O-oh babe, sorry, did I fuck your brains out t-too hard?" and he will make you say he did.

T = Toys He doesn't usually use toys, except maybe ropes or vibrators if you're into that stuff. Except. Srap-ons. Peg this man. He won't tell you, but this man is PEGGABLE. And he WILL enjoy it and start moaning your name. Trust guys. He's also pretty skinny (lean, but skinny) so if you use a big enough strapon he'll get a stomach bulge.

U = Unfair (teasing) Usually he can't really tease you during sex as he's too busy fucking your brains out (or getting his brains fucked out) but as with pace, he can slow it down a little sometimes. And when he does you best believe he'll tease the shit out of you. He'll make you beg for it, and he WILL drag it out as long as possible. Probably try his hand at edging you. (but it's fine if you edge him back he'll become a stuttering fucking begging MESS)

V = Volume/Vocal I imagine Toby isn't the most vocal of men, but you will know when he's enjoying it. Moaning, grunting, even growling. Sometimes he'll stutter out short sentances too. "F-fuck, tight-" "gonna split you in half baby-" "Mach w-weiter" (keep going) "Please, p-please please-" shit like that.

W = Wild Card (misc) Toby speaks fluent German, as his parents were 1'st gen immigrants from Germany. (it's canon confirmed he has German ancestry but not more specific than that, so that's more of a headcanon.) He does some sex talk in german, especially when he gets In the heat of it. "Oh mein Gott" ( oh my god) "V-Verdammt, das fühlt sich so gu-gut an" (Fuck, that feels so good) "Ich l-liebe dich, härter bitte" (I love you, harder please)

X = X-Ray Toby is skinny, but lean. And deceptively strong. His whole body is covered head to toe in scars - stomach, chest, arms shoulders legs. Everywhere. He has no tattoos save for the operator symbol on his wrist. He's 5"10 in hight. In terms of his member, he's pretty big, a little larger than average at about 7.5 inches, give or take a few depending on just how hard he is too. He's pretty girthy as well, so get ready for the ride of your life.

Y = Yearning (libido) High libido. Horny fucker. Literally so horny, he's pretty much ready for it any time anywhere. Especially when it's related to you. You could probably look at him funny and he'd wanna fuck.

Z = Zzz It's 50/50 whether he'll pass out after sex or not. If he does he cuddles you close though, probably whispering nice things and calling you pretty. Just resting on you, playing with your hair or letting you play with his.

[artbyblastweave]

🔥 superhero "subversions/deconstructions"

An extremely common problem with many of these things is that they're taking swings at tropes, dynamics and so forth that Big-two comics writers have been noticing and responding to in-house since the 1980s, in a way that smacks of not having as great a command of the space as you might like them to. Here's an example:

So this is from a comic I finished tonight called Minor Threats, which, if you can't tell from the text, is about a bunch of D-list supervillians who have to team up to hunt down the setting's Joker Analogue because he gave the setting's Robin the Jason Todd treatment and now the hammer is coming down unless he's caught. This entire page is, like, a distillation of a dozen different complaints about the superhero genre as a whole, ways in which it's myopic- You Can't Punch Inequality, Who's Cleaning Up After This, Only Named Characters Matter-but the thing is that towards the bottom of the page I was kind of mouthing along. Because these are old complaints, right, and nobody writes mainstream cape comics without these criticisms in mind.

I want to hone in on the Kaiju bit in particular. It makes for a fun worldbuilding beat, the idea that they built slums over and around the body of a slain kaiju that the heroes couldn't be bothered to move. And there was a point in the history of comics where "wait, who moves the dead Kaiju" would have been a salient question to bring up, where it was a genuine blind spot in the fiction. You know what happened? Damage Control happened. No Mans Land Happened. Stock beats of the heroes sticking around to help clean up happened. "Superheroes don't clean up after themselves" hasn't been a fair cop for literally decades now. Rinse and repeat with the other complaints- maybe the nature of the fiction is such that you're never going to be able to fully address those things, but efforts are consistently being made.

Mind you, it's internally consistent with everything else that we're shown of these particular superheroes in this particular setting- a bunch of image-obsessed ass-covering bullies who nonetheless cut corners whenever they're dealing with someone who doesn't have the resources to make a big stink. These are people who plausibly Would Not Move The Dead Kaiju, as long as it landed in the bad part of town. On that level, the beat works. But you can't let them motte-and-bailey here- this is also a comic that's trying to say things about the genre as a whole when it presents the heroes like that, and the referents have simply moved on! The low-hanging fruit's largely been picked, sorry!

[performativezippers]

here's some random writing advice that i've found helpful, in no order, that i reserve the right to add to at any time:

no one says everything they're thinking. in dialogue, less is more. people don't speak in paragraphs, they speak in sentences, especially when they're not telling a story. let the dialogue be brief, and use interiority (thoughts) to show the reader all the things they aren't saying.

use physical cues to help the POV character understand what the non-POV character is thinking/feeling/not saying/lying about. For example, if we're in Jane's POV while Maura is talking, and Maura says "I'm fine," Jane can notice that her eyes are darting around like she's anxious, or she's crossed and uncrossed her arms, almost like she's nervous. there's no need to say MAURA SEEMS NERVOUS, let the reader get it from what Jane's picking up.

let the reader be curious—don't info dump—but don't frustrate them by giving so little that they don't know what's going on. this is a very very fine line sometimes, and betas can be really helpful for pointing it out until you've gotten the feel for it.

Use paragraph breaks, for the love of god.

Only italicize things that really and truly cannot be explained any other way. "What are you doing here?" for example doesn't need any italics. If you can't get the reader to understand what you mean without the italics, then, sure, use them. but SPARINGLY. use body language, interiority, other words, and dialogue tags (shouts, yells, whispers, cries, she says as her voice cracks) to get the reader what they need.

"What are you doing here?" could be "what on earth are you doing here?" (aka, i have no fucking idea why you're here, my dude)

"What are you doing here?" could be "i told you to stay out of this, lucy! what are you doing here?" (aka, lucy you specifically should not be here)

"What are you doing here?" could be "jesus, you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were at the front! what are you doing here?" (aka, i'm not surprised to see you, but i'm surprised to see you HERE what the fuck)

Don't head hop. Know who's POV you're in and STAY IN IT until the chapter break, scene change that's clearly indicated by ***, whatever. if this is challenge, try writing in first person to get in the habit of only knowing what your POV character knows. There is, of course, 3rd person omniscient narration, but it's really fucking hard to pull off and honestly I recommend staying away from it entirely. Most things you'll read are written in first or close 3rd, and that's not an accident.

Let your characters move around in space. let them notice the things around them.

If Kate walks into a room, i'll probably list what she sees in order of importance, unless it's a big reveal. i'll add voice to that so you'll know i did it on purpose.

in order of appearance: "the body lies in the middle of the big, wide room. the ceiling must be twenty feet up, and there are plenty of windows, the way the light catches the falling dust mites looks more like a church than a crime scene."

with reveal/voice: "Kate bursts into the room and immediately skids to a stop. it's too bright, all white walls and high windows. it looks like the kind of room you'd put a WeWork in, or maybe a super expensive soulcycle. normally Kate would be itching for a paint roller and some blueprints, but today she ignores the terrible architectural choices, choosing to focus instead on the dead body congealing in a puddle of dark brown blood in the middle of the floor."

try to have an internal plot/obstacle (alex can't be honest with maggie about their relationship because she hasn't told her that her sister is superhero) and external plot/obstacle (there is a serial killer targeting aliens in national city, and all three women are on his radar). Best practice is for them to intersect and create layered, complex problems (maggie can't understand why alex is so fucking freaked out about this serial killer in the first act; yes, crime is bad, but like, it's their job? why won't alex TALK to her? where does she keep running off to in secret? does alex even actually want to be with her??)

Everything should have: tension, stakes, obstacles. Try not to make all of that hinge on a misunderstanding or one person being too chicken to confess their feelings. that gets boring and frustrating for the reader.

If you need to make a calendar, make one. If you need a cast list, write one. keep yourself on track.

introduce new original characters slowly. give them one name (first and last is usually not necessary at the start). give us one or two things to remember about them. Jenna is the producer of the tv show. Jenna is mean. the next time she comes back, call her "jenna the producer." then the next time you can hint to her role, like "jenna has her big clipboard and is shouting at everyone to get the fucking cameras ready." if jenna doesn't come back again, don't name her. be kind to your readers who forget things, and help them out by limiting the named cast to people who need to be named. if they don't show up until halfway through, don't introduce them until halfway through. for fanfic, obviously this is easier because we know everyone, but still, please. only have the people in the scene who need to be there. huge scenes with 5-8+ characters present are a MESS.

if your character has two best friends who fill the same role, cut one. streamline so i as the reader have less to keep track of.

banter can be fun to write, but dialogue without movement, choreography, internal thoughts, lies, physical cues, and plot movement gets really boring to read. if a scene is skippable, ask yourself what would make it essential, and add that.

every conversation should do at least two things. things can be:

move the plot forward

deepen, change, or complexify an existing relationship

create tension (plot, romance, etc)

explore stakes

attempt to get over the obstacle

FOR EXAMPLE: Helena and Myka almost kissing when they shouldn't because Helena is with Some Dude? yes! that's romantic tension and attempting to get over the obstacle (some dude). Myka rambling to claudia about almost kissing helena for 3 pages: no! That does nothing on this list. the event already happened, and a long debrief about it isn't interesting to the reader. Let Myka ruminate while she's doing one of the other things. and by ruminate, i mean KEEP A LIGHT TOUCH HERE, ruminating is very very easy to make boring and maudlin. trust your reader; be subtle about it.

[marksbear]

A fic for my beloved @sluttyhusband who requested this a long time ago, but I was a bit busy. SOO I hope you enjoy!

This could also be read as GN! so like they/them. Or he/they etc etc. Pronouns for the reader isn't really specified.

Warnings! stalker ex, Unsub is your ex, obsessed unsub. blood, kidnapping, major injuries, angst

AARON HOTCHNER X VICTIM MALE READER

Tiny little blurb to start it off! 

He didn’t want to believe it was you. His world had came to a stop once he saw you were all bloody and injured on the floor inside the unsubs basement. His heart ached with anger and sorrow even guilt filled his heart.

He felt like he should have known the unsub was targeting you. The unsub was your ex. They were targeting people who looked something like you. He knew how possessive and desperate he was for you. You told him and showed him pictures of them. One of the pictures you showed him was your ex’s body and face all tattooed everywhere and the tattoos were “Y/n L/n” all over his body. 

He watch paramedics pick up your limp body taking it into the ambulance. Hotch didn’t know whether to scream and shout or beat himself up for your kidnapping. Aaron stares at the unsub who’s on the floor handcuffed staring up at Aaron with hatred in his eyes.

“So…You're my replacement. Y/n could have gotten someone better like me…” the unsub breathes out with a chuckle.

Aaron balled his hands into fist with his knuckles turning white. Aaron stares down at the man feeling the rest of the team's eyes burning into his back.

Aaron's jaw was clenched as the rest of his body felt like he was about to go animalistic on the guy. He didn't care if he lost his job or something he couldn't think about anything other than fighting him.

"Agent Hotchner, we have to go. Cmon boys get em up." An agent finally says breaking the silence. Quickly the team begins to comfort the boss with all sorts of words.

HEADCANONS!

After that incident Hotch never left you out of his sight for a LONG time. 

He began to call sick for work and go on break to spend time with you and just overall wanting to make sure you're safe.

  Begins to carry you everywhere. He doesn’t want your wounds and injuries to hurt or re-open. 

He knows you can take care of yourself, but he couldn’t shake the thought of him having to protect you. 

Once he gets to see you in the hospital he begins to apologize profusely. He was on his knees by your hospital bed holding your hands tightly as he cried out a series of “I’m sorry.”

He’ll cradle you in his arms if you have a nightmare since the incident letting you cry softly into his chest as he whispers against your head. “You're safe, I'm here.” 

Jack will asks about your scars and if you’d let him he’ll trance your scars with his tiny little hands.

He'll wait weeks, months, years even for you to be comfortable with him touching you in some places.

The memory of you lying limp on your own blood haunts him every night. It will make him bolt up awake mumbling your name under his breath making sure you're still with him.

He probably pushes away the team and keeps to himself as he tries to cope until he can't hold it inside no more.

Hugs are even tighter and longer between you two.

Lasting long kisses assuring the other that they're safe.

Aaron and you are trying to build back the foundation of being a happy family for both of you and especially for Jack.

Aaron tries his damn hardest not to just shoot the unsub dead on the spot as soon as he sees the unsub hurting you.

The team setting up you, Aaron and Jack to a secret vacation so y'all can finally feel at peace.

Aaron becomes more secretive of you and Jack, only speaking up about the two of you unless it's the team or absolutely necessary. He wants to keep you both safe.

He becomes such a protective husband. Like he couldn't stop himself.

THE END

[ipatrichor]

my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

[the-hellhounds]

Walking around in the cemetery, Ravi grumbled to himself as he carried a dead supernatural being in his arms. "Stupid windigos," he muttered under his breath as he found one of the nemetons in which was placed beyond the cemetery. "Always making a mess when they eat humans."

Dropping the supernatural to the tree, he wipes his jacket off from the blood that leaked off of the wendigos' mouth. Having had to fight off the being from potentially running off again to feast on more unsuspecting humans, Ravi had arrived on time to witness it bite a deputies arm.

"Now burn in hell, you shit face." He growls lowly as he sets on fire the body of the wendigo. Leaving it to burn into the nemeton, he walks back to the rows of graves and headstones until he stops dead in his tracks. Raising his head as his nose picked up the familiar scent, Ravi makes a turn towards a burial that had two stone creatures in the shape of kitsunes.

Upon further approach, his senses go on high alert as he hears the heartbeat of someone buried alive.

"They're coming..." Jake says by the window of Jaemin's house as he peeked out to see their lost friends stalking towards them in beserker outfits.

Johnny breathed out as he rolled his shoulders and looked to Jaehyun. "Let's not die today, okay?" He says to his friend as they all got ready to fight the biggest fight of their entire lives.

As Chenle and Renjun got everyone's mates and loved ones hidden in the bunker, the rest stood their ground. Igniting themselves to be engulfed in flames, they let out deep roars to indicate that they wouldn't back down.

Pulling out an unconscious Taeyong from the grave that had oxygen tanks buried with him. Ravi couldn't believe he had found the leader to the pack that had gone missing for months.

"Come on... come on, wake up." He shook Taeyong's body, hoping he'd gain consciousness, but nothing helped.

"He won't wake up unless they get the sword through the nogistunes' heart." A deep voice says from behind Ravi. Turning his head, he spots Chanyeol standing before him. "It's how they got Donghyuck back. But they must piece back the sword quickly before it notices that you found Taeyong." Chanyeol says.

Without wasting another minute, Ravi quickly pulls out his phone and calls the first person on his contacts. "Get the sword fixed." He barks out into his phone as he hears the growls and roars of his pack from the background on the other end of the call. "I found him."

Getting thrown halfway across three houses in the territory, Haechan groans in pain as he gets Sunwoo thrown onto him. "How much do you weigh?" He groans as he pushes the younger off of him.

"Not as much as you do," Sunwoo answered with snarl as he looked down to see a gash in his thigh from one of the beserkers. "Fucking great. Now mom's going to lose her shit."

"How old is your mom?" Haechan asks, getting an unbelievable stare from Sunwoo as if he didn't just ask something ridiculous at the time.

"You're not fucking my sons mother!" Hanbin growled as he stood in front of them to protect Sunwoo from getting hurt further.

Whining from behind him, Haechan pouts. "Why not? You got to her first!" He says just as Hanbin moved when a berserker threw another punch that landed on Haechan's cheek. "Fuck!"

"Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" Sunwoo snickered as he ran off to help his father with an Oni that was attacking him.

Making a face towards the new kid, Haechan snarls his lip as he fought back the berserker.

"Haven't you learned your lesson?" Jaemin says as he appears and helps him with Jeno. "You just can't be throwing yourself at other men's women like that, or you'll get punched by a beserker, which happens to be one of our friends." He says sarcastically.

Grumbling, Haechan held the arm that had a sharp bone as a weapon so they could take down Kai, which was the beserker they were fighting among the others.

Running to hide from the nogistune while Johnny distracted it, Jaehyun held the sword that would be used to vanquish the spirit.

"Then why cause so much chaos?" Johnny yelled as he got beat down by the Oni that held him. "What for? It only causes pain to others."

The nogistune smirked in such a way that looked frightening on Taeyong's face. "Because how else would I feed? I can't feed off of others' happiness, and I know Taeyong isn't happy." It says as it walked dangerously slow towards Johnny that heaved in pain from the wounds he had. "Haechan wasn't happy either, but somehow, his loved ones always found a way to get him back."

"Loved ones," Johnny spits out, "something you'll never have."

Throwing a punch to his jaw, Taeyong growls into his face. "And it'll also be something you'll never experience-" he goes to say, but stops when he senses something. Turning his head up to the sky, the nogistune feels that the real Taeyong had been found. "No. This can't be..." He whispers as he doesn't notice Jaehyun approach him.

"But it can." Jaehyun plunges the sword deep in the nogistunes back as it pierces it right through his heart.

As the nogistune lets out piercing cries, the Oni begin to disappear into thin air. The beserkers stop attacking, their eyes fading into their normal colors as if snapping out of it.

The hounds all let out relieved breathes as their friends begin to take off the bear skulls they had on.

"Guys, I feel funny," YangYang says as he drops his skull helmet to the ground.

"That's because you have a gash on your side," Ten tells the younger as he walks over to him in his own beserker outfit.

Looking down to where he now felt the pain, YangYang felt dizzy. "Oh," he says before collapsing into Kun's arms from seeing so much blood.

"Everyone hurt, get to my medical hut," Kun announces as he takes an unconscious YangYang with him.

Baekhyun stared at Changkyun, his sharpened bone weapon having missed Kyun's head by an inch into the dirt ground. "Kyun?" He asks as the younger stared with widen eyes up at him.

"YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!" Jake suddenly yelled feet away from them as both Baekhyun and Kyun looked over to see Chris having stabbed the ground between Jake's legs.

"Mate, why were your legs even opened!? You dodge if a sharp weapon comes at you!" Chris yells back at him as he too had snapped back to normal.

"You were about to stab me in the dick!! I had to open them after you swiped my legs!" Dropping his head back, he breathes heavily in pure tiredness from fighting for his life.

As everyone was getting treated, San sat down next to Taeyong, who had been silently drinking beer.

"You okay?" San asks as he opened up a can of beer to drink with him.

Taeyong sighed as he dropped his head back, his neck popping as he lifted it back up. "Not really..." He answered. "I'm the leader to my pack. I should've protected my friends, my family... but I failed. I put them all at risk."

"You didn't fail them," San tells him with a pat to his shoulder. "Having a nogistune inside you is something no one can avoid, but having friends to help get you back means that you've proved yourself as a great leader."

.

"Papa?" Minjun asks as he comes waddling over to Haechan and Jeno with power ranger bandages.

"Thanks, buddy," Haechan smiles softly to his one year old that looked up at him worriedly.

"I don't think a power ranger bandage will cover much..." Jeno whispers while holding his thigh that was covered in blood. Lifting up the baby hound in his arms, he cradles him while Haechan cleaned up his wound. "But thank you for helping, Minjunnie," he smiles as he presses a kiss to his cheek.

Ravi appears to help out! 🤧: @badbf-cb ( lisa ♥︎ ) - @fantasyaespa ( ningning ♥︎ ) - @fallenangel-oc ( staci & alya ♥︎ × ♥︎ ) - @lovesick-hyuck ( ♥︎ ) - @witch-renjunnie ( ♥︎ ) - @raiden-oc ( 🌺 ♥︎ ) @monsterhigh-cb ( jaemin ♥︎ ) - @livealittleoc-cb ( jay & ace ★ × ♠︎ ) - @multi-esme

[bories]

masterlist ⋆｡˚☆

can you guys tell i love werewolves?

quick background info: i like to imagine reader as charlie's "adopted shortly after bella left him" kid. so she's close w bella but also kinda lagging behind when it comes to hearing about whats going on around her. this also takes place in eclipse <3

!!! i took some inspiration from @the-wolf-moon-diaries' Hold a Light Back to My Soul and the idea from @lunajay33's My Beast and i highly recommend their stories!

i definitely gotta write a pt 2 where we meet up again, don't i? damn

weird dog ... seth clearwater x reader

word count: 1512, warnings: swearing, running away, giant wolf?? a tad boring

Some days can be rough as hell around here, and dealing with them can be just as hard. There's not much to do in Forks, besides drive down to La Push, or wander in and out of the small stores around town, or even wander the hiking trails. But regardless, you need out, you gotta go.

Everything keeps piling up, looming over you, and it's all about to come crashing down. You're sick of hearing about some vampire army, and Bella's stupid love triangle, and now even werewolves--so you decide to leave. Slipping into some boots, you run out the door, barely caring if you make noise.

Not sure of where to go, you just pick a direction and run. You break out into a sprint until you get stomach cramps.

Slowing down, you walk and catch your breath as you reach the entrance to a hiking trail. It's far too late into the night for anyone to be out there unless they're camping, and even then they'd be holed up in their tents for the night. Regardless, though, you deviate from the path and just wander through the trees, not wanting to run into anyone.

Never slowing down, you begin to think about your safety in the forest so late.

It'll be fine, you tell yourself, Besides, if I get lost, someone'll just come find me like they found Bella that one time. With vampires and werewolves, it can't be that hard.

You roll your eyes at the thought of both species of weird being unable to track you down.

Your stomach stops hurting and you keep strolling through the forest, dodging trees and hopping off any big rocks you find. Taking in the forest around you, you start to wonder how long you've been gone.

No more than, like, half an hour. Maybe 45. D'you think Dad has noticed yet? you ask yourself. Definitely not.

After a few more minutes worth of walking and avoiding thinking too much, you stop in a little clearing. It's less of a clearing and more like trees getting a little more sparse, but you don't mind.

You sit on a rock and look up. The trees here are far apart enough to get a small, but clear shot of the sky.

"Nice," you smile. And for a few minutes, all you do is stare at the stars in silence.

Your eyelids start to feel heavy as your body really relaxes. You slide off the rock so you're sitting on the ground, leaned against it, still looking up.

I mean, this isn't the most uncomfortable pillow I've used. And I don't think I'd make it home anyways, you think, justifying sleeping against that rock to yourself. I'll go back in the morning if no one finds me by then. Sounds like a solid plan.

You yawn and close your eyes while turning onto your side against the rock. The quiet sounds of the forest lull you to sleep as your mind wanders. It wanders from the Cullens, to La Push, to how you miss the beach, to how you might go there next time you want to run away for a night, to how you'd even get there alone.

Being nearly asleep, you don't pick up on the fact that the forest is suddenly void of sound. Any animals around you have left, the leaves having stopped rustling, even the wind no longer blowing. But it's not until you hear the crunching of twigs behind you that your eyes shoot open, wide and aware. You hear panting, slow and steady, and you don't dare move.

Shit, is it a bear? 'If it's black, fight back,' right? We only have black bears around here. God, should I get up? Playing dead only works on brown bears--shit. Mind racing, your eyes squeeze shut until you come to a decision.

You abruptly stumble to your feet and start screaming, trying to scare away whatever's behind you, until you actually turn around. Your scream shifts from "trying-to-assert-dominance" to "trying-not-to-die-tonight" as you register what's found you. Not a black bear, but a brown wolf. A huge brown wolf. It even pulls away from you, startled by your screaming.

"Holy shit! Holy shit!" You stagger backwards and trip over a small rock, falling on your ass. You curse to yourself and look back up at the beast. It watches you, and for a moment, you two just stare at one another.

Your eyes are full of fear, mouth open, ready to scream, chest rising and falling with every uncertain breath. The wolf huffs and its head dips down towards you as it sniffs you. In response, you weakly try to shuffle backwards, unsure of what to do. It lets out another huff, backing away, never breaking eye contact.

To your surprise, it sits. It sits there and just looks at you.

You take a deep breath in and out and try to calm yourself. "Hoo... Okay," you're cautious to speak, afraid of what might happen. "Hey there, uh, buddy?"

It doesn't move. "You, uh--you won't hurt me, huh? Right?"

It huffs. "Great. Very trustworthy."

Standing up slowly, you're wary of the wolf still watching your every move. You relax as the wolf seems uninterested in attacking you.

You sigh, "Now what? One wrong move and I might as well scream for the Cullens to come bite me."

You start talking to yourself, "This is what you get for being stupid. 'Oh, it's just the big bad trees. What's the worst that could happen?' I said. Yeah, right. Idiot."

The wolf's head cocks to the side as you scold yourself.

"And you," you gesture towards the wolf, "what're you gonna do? God, what am I doing? Threatening a giant wolf? I really am a genius."

You stop rambling and take a breath. "Okay. This is fine."

Your shoulders finally slump as you take in the wolf. It's as tall as the average human, taller even, with brown fur that looks darker at night. It's eyes are brown and captivating, almost unnaturally humanlike. Regardless, you can't help but find it beautiful.

"You're not that scary, are you?" You flash it a weak smile, "I bet you're just like a big puppy. You're so big that if you were red I'd call you Clifford," you laugh.

Taking slow steps towards the wolf, you raise your hand as non-threateningly as you can. "Can I pet you?" It watches you with curiosity.

"That's kind of a dumb question, isn't it? You can't really," your hand is inches from its head, "...respond." It leans into your touch as you begin softly stroking its fur.

"See," you chuckle, "you're not so mean."

It huffs and lies down. "What, you're tired? I bet you had a long day of scaring campers, didn't you?" You sit down beside the wolf, "I'm tired, too, you know? You actually kind of woke me up."

It watches you blankly. "I accept your apology, don't worry."

With a yawn, you start petting its fur again. "Pretty soft for a wild wolf," you mutter.

Your eyes start feeling heavy again and you lean against the wolf. "You don't mind, right?" Your words come out slowly, tired.

A huff in response. "Great, thanks. You're a much better pillow than that rock was," you trail off and close your eyes.

As your body relaxes against the wolf, the pace of your breathing matches the wolf's, and your mind starts to wander again. Wandering from how warm the wolf is, to the sun, to how you used to stare at the sun as a kid, to how you miss sunbathing on the beach, to planning your next day at the beach.

You barely mutter a "G'night," and drift off to sleep.

Throughout the night, the wolf watches over you as you sleep curled up with it. At sunrise, it stands, leaving you lying on the ground, and it begins to nudge you awake with its snout. You're startled awake by the wolf in your face and sit up, finding your bearings.

"Oh," you say, rubbing your eyes. "Right, good morning, I guess." The wolf pants at you, mouth open. "God, I really spent the night out here... Shit--has dad noticed?"

The wolf watches as you stand up and look around, looking for the direction you came in. Once you recognize the way home, you turn to say goodbye to the wolf. It stares at you, tall and unmoving.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm about to be in huge trouble."

Its tongue licks its nose. You smile with a sigh and shake your head, "I'll miss you, too. Don't scare too many people while I'm gone, alright?"

It bows its head as you pet it goodbye. "I'll find you again. I'll come back, tonight or tomorrow. And you better be here."

You turn and begin walking away, thinking to yourself, Weirdest dog I've ever met.

You look back once and it's gone. As silently as it had snuck up on you the previous night, it had gone.

[marshmellopie]

YOU THERE

Give me your spamton headcanons! Any kind!

loki i love you so much you don't know how much i've been wanting to share my headcanons oh my GOD [scans over my 20+ page headcanon doc]

putting it under the cut because it's a lot of random stuff, i didn't categorize anything so there might be whiplash between everything:

– Five feet tall, previously 5'10 when he was still an Addison. I made Puppet Spam was 4'5 for the longest time, but I decided to say fuck it and make him taller. Still short in terms of Cyber City residents though, I like to imagine normal Addisons are around 6ft.

– I sometimes forget to draw it and I can't really animate it consistently, but his knuckles are constantly bruised because he keeps punching things whenever he's angry. Experiences really severe temper tantrums/outbursts and usually resorts to violence.

– Do not touch his fucking hair if he doesn’t know you. He’ll legitimately plan your murder if you cut any of it off– and that’s not a hyperbole. He can’t grow it back and his hair is his pride and joy, so he will genuinely track you down and rip your goddamn soul out of your chest. It's also permanently black (besides the grey but that's from stress), he changed his coding when he was famous to have black hair. Could've been reversible, but some things kinda stuck after he fucked himself up and became a doll.

– Weird mixture of Addison and mannequin. Mysteriously fell incredibly ill with a virus that was destroying his coding after his phone went dead silent, and became desperate to the point of converting his remaining data into an inanimate object. Kind of like converting a PDF into a JPEG with the compressed quality and all. Kinda iffy with this one and not really canon-inspired, I swap between him gradually and suddenly turning into a puppet. Used to base it off the Acid Theory but I'm tryna be creative sjfkdsjf he did probably fall in/get pushed a few times but it didn't burn him to the point of no return, it definitely stung though

– Blurry vision in both eyes because he had the audacity to peek into the Shadow Crystal multiple times. Hacked his glasses to somewhat correct it, but it only works to a certain extent.

– Talks through a voice box. He really doesn't need to move his mouth at all to speak and has limited range of motion (he can't close his mouth all the way and has no tongue), but he tries to purely out of habit.

– gayest man in cyber city

– Eats basically anything. From spaghetti-code to cardboard, his body is kind of forced to digest all of it, but it obviously hurts him if it's not supposed to be eaten.

– Sometimes doesn't recognize his own reflection.

– Riddled with viruses for so long that he probably wouldn't ever be able to get rid of them. He could probably minimize them if he got treatment, but only to an extent. They're a permanent part of him now.

– His nose is simultaneously the strongest and weakest part of his body. Either pierces through metal or bends like a bendy straw depending on if you throw him or just lightly poke it.

– Terrifyingly amazing aim. Can throw a pipis at a specific target without much thought. His pipis explode.

– Calmed down a bit as the years went on (because he lost hope LMAO), which isn't saying much considering he's still extremely rabid. Was extremely volatile when he first decided to give up the good life and live in the dumpster. Frequently tried to break into the mansion, probably stole a few cars, mugged a few Plugboys, picked fights with other malware on the streets. He still continues to do these things, of course, but to a lesser degree.

– Spiteful cunt. Wrong him once and he'll never forget your name. Rarely apologizes even if he's in the wrong.

– Can't say names properly unless he's being completely serious.

– Upholds his end of most deals, but words himself carefully so that if what he has to bring to the table isn't up to par with what the other person asked of him (which is 99% of the time), he can easily swindle his way out of it. No refunds on the sword. It's broken? I told you that. Cut anything, two pieces. You heard me clearly, and you obviously had no qualms with it from what I could tell. (Except he'd say that in a really fucked up and more condescending way.)

– Constantly hears static, but it grows and fades depending on his mood.

– Laughs at the most inconvenient times. Someone's threatening him? He'll chuckle. He's nervous? A little giggle. He just received some devastating news? Roaring laughter.

– Very unreliable narrator and storyteller. Tends to exaggerate things that have happened to him (doesn't mean that he didn't go through some wild shit though).

– Doesn't celebrate his birthday, for obvious loneliness and conflicting self-resentment reasons. Also because he doesn't keep track of the time. He don't know what day it is fam.

– Can mimic voices really well, though he still retains that bitcrushed/noisy overlay and the ad pop-ups.

– Tends to chew on things occasionally as a nervous habit. He doesn't exactly have a tongue, so he instead picks up random small items scattered around (ie. a pencil) and chews on them. Worst case scenario he just grinds his teeth together.

– Gestures with his hands a lot when he speaks. It literally looks like he's going through an emote hotbar. Also very expressive when it comes to his face, despite rarely being able to frown properly. You can garner a lot about his mood from his glasses.

– Mostly bark over bite. Tends to make empty threats a lot when he's startled in hopes his loudness will be intimidating, but will indeed bite if he needs to… or wants to. Sometimes there’s no bark at all, and he’ll literally bite.

– Has a weird fascination with shiny objects. He steals many things that seem valuable or visually appealing and hoards them in his shop.

– Once you put the KEYGEN into NEO, it takes a little bit for him to actually take over the body because he's transferring his data onto it. Permanently. Even when he becomes small Spamton again, he's permanently linked to the machine now, so he can change into it at will. Technically not at will because he has trouble controlling it, but you get what I mean.

this was insanely long but thank you for letting me ramble <3

[saintsenara]

Hi, if you're still doing the ask game, may I inquire about your opinion on the following ships ? : Tomarrinny, Bartymort, Quirrellmort, Petermort and Tom Sr/Cecilia/Merope. Also, thoughts on MoD!Voldemort or on how a meeting between Snape and Petunia would have gone ? Thanks !

thank you very much, @take-the-unknow-road-now for this wonderful selection of unhinged things for me to talk about. i am always ready for asks which inspire chaos:

tomarrinny

when she's eleven, harry's twelve, and tom is an immortal shard of soul? no.

when she's thirty, harry's thirty-one, and tom is back from the dead for some reason? absolutely.

after all, why shouldn't ginny be allowed two orphans, as a treat? and why shouldn't tom be allowed two people who are clearly less good-looking than him to pay him attention? plus, two quidditch players will definitely be willing to do all the work, allowing him to achieve his true form: undying pillow princess.

but - in reality - we all know which way the power dynamic actually lies: tom and ginny are both harry's subs.

let's hope that their ability to jointly write a poem has improved since the "his eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad" days...

bartymort

canon.

there has never been a man with a more flagrant daddy kink than barty crouch jr., and we all know that he threw himself onto lord voldemort's lap the second he arrived in his first death eater meeting.

the dark lord advised him that he'd be physically chastised if this behaviour continued. unfortunately for him, that was exactly what barty wanted to happen.

the reason it burned out hard is because lord voldemort also has towering daddy issues. he is even forced to reveal what his real name and background is in an effort to make barty understand that sometimes he'd like to do something other than put on a double-breasted suit and pretend he's come home on time to attend a birthday party. [for example: "hello son, i've come to pick you up from the orphanage" role-play.)

barty literally couldn't give less of a fuck. lord voldemort isn't sorry when he gets turned into a soulless husk.

quirrellmort

lord voldemort - overcome with joy at being back in a human body after a decade - doesn't think through how awkward the aftermath of this will be, and spends the first night he's attached to quirrell's head directing him in a... let's just say... exploration of his anatomy.

quirrell is so pathetically suggestible that - from that point onwards - he can't get off unless the dark lord is talking dirty to him. but can you imagine how cringe trying to speak sexily to quirrell must be?

[hey baby, what are you wearing? a turban which smells of garlic?]

voldemort simply pretends not to have heard when quirrell brings this up. unfortunately, all this does is make quirrell want to talk about his feelings.

lord voldemort isn't sorry when harry kills him.

petermort

flopping. lord voldemort hates wormtail, because he betrayed a man to whom he would give his affections: james potter.

[seriously, he is a simp for james. there is no other explanation for why he insists that james fought him bravely when he turned up on halloween when we canonically know that what james actually did was run into the hall without his wand and then fall over.]

but don't worry. wormtail is getting some god-tier hate sex out of snape.

tom riddle sr./cecilia/merope gaunt

i'm going to answer this lightly, on the assumption that this triad is consensual.

tom sr. is getting thrown out of the bedroom within seconds. they're lesbians.

[he'll be fine. he goes for a little walk to sulk and ends up making out with frank bryce against a rose trellis. the four of them become bffs.]

and then our not-ship questions:

lord voldemort as the master of death

sounds like a lot of hard work, plus both of his parents keep appearing whenever he touches the resurrection stone to shout at him.

snape versus petunia

snape went round to speak to her about what a dick he thinks harry is [dumbledore told him to speak to her about the blood protection, he didn't want to].

they fucked.

[kit-williams]

Barn Anon. Thank you but I think I'm more comfortable being Anon. Just how I am I suppose? Either ways, I tried again to make something happier.

It's been a few days now since you left your parent's house. This is easily the longest sleepover you've ever had! Best day ever! or maybe best week ever would be more appropriate? You had never seen so many Salamanders before. You had seen other Space Marines before when your Salamander brought you along with him to what looked like a Space Marine hangout?

That place was so interesting, their armours all so different and colourful. You told your Salamander that they remind you of power rangers, getting a loud laugh in return. He had told you of the various legions and chapters, though you can't remember them all. Though it seems like they're all nice people! Or maybe it's because that particular hangout was frequented by those with fondness for humans.

Now however you find yourself following one of the other Salamanders through the large building. You had left your jacket in your room, you wouldn't need it here. the Salamanders keep their building nice and warm. He reaches down and picks you up, setting you on a tabletop that would give you a good view of a training pit.

There you see your Salamander out of armour fighting with another unarmoured Salamander. He and his opponent move so fast, it was almost a blur at some points. A large hand is carefully wrapped around your waist to make sure you don't fall. Your Salamander had told you how they train with each other and you were quick to ask if you could watch.

You swing your feet as you sit at the table's edge, you watch and cheer your Salamander on. Best sleepover ever.

You know what Barn Anon I can respect that and if you're more comfortable doing this then I wont stop you

this is gonna kinda long

Yes Sunny is a Terran born Night Lord you wanna fight about it?

Officer Riley looked over the missing child case though it looked like it was turning into a case of Astarte's linked abduction but all their parents knew was the Astartes in question was green. That didn't help... if it was a Dark Angel the kid could still be alive unless the feral astartes got a case of paranoia then that kid was as good as dead... if it was a death guard another case of they would have to find a body.

He sighs putting his head on the desk hearing the door open up and his space marine sits in his reinforced chair. Officer Riley was very aware of the Irony that was Suul... or as he called him Sunny to piss him off. He looked at the Night Lord sitting in the chair. Though he was what was called an "Old Breed" or "Old Stock" or even as Sunny said "Terran born". But still the Irony wasn't lost on him... a cop getting a Night Lord... but Sunny was stubborn to let the officer know that he was his charge and he was there to keep him safe.

"Something feels wrong Sunny. Did you learn anything from the Space Marines in the area?" He looked up at the Space Marine.

What left the Night Lord wasn't the typical Slavic accent that most others had but some weird what Officer Riley would call a Metropolitian accent, "Salamanda'" He said looking at his servos like he was looking at nails.

"A Salamander took them?"

"Ye' Left during the wolf's midnight patrol." Sunny had managed to get one Space Marine to at least talk with him. "Ya know there's a compound of them a bit of a trek away."

"Why would a Salamander take a child? They normally don't."

Sunny hums and nods before looking at him, "Why don't we go ask him."

----------

You were having so much fun! Only time that was boring was when your Salamander went and did his forge time but you would play on a tablet that the tech marine of the group gave you. You were starting to learn more and more.

BLARE

You jump at the alarm blare as suddenly you were picked up by a Salamander before you were given to your Salamander and then he and a few others moved you to a safe location. "What's happening?" You ask as your Salamander looks down at you.

"A feral space marine is in the area. The alarm wouldn't normally go off but since you are here... precaution." He says with a smile.

You lean against his arm just worried.

-------

"Sunny stop following me." Officer Riley said looking back at the Night Lord

"Fat chance. Ya might get yerself killed." Suul said he had little to fear from the Salamander's hurting his charge but he didn't know what else was around and that made the Night Lord paranoid because who knew what they knew.

"You just want to come along to translate for me don't you." Officer Riley says just looking at his large shadow just shrug.

"I've got big ears and Salamanders are big boys with big mouths... always useful to-" Suul started before he put himself in front of the officer as suddenly they were surrounded.

He holds his breath wondering how he didn't hear them approach but then again the snow did wonders to hide the noise but... he looks over their disrupted outlines of the large green giants. He looks over his shoulder at their massive weapons and on either side he sees two with flamethrowers aimed right at Sunny. Sunny was slowly putting his arms up and his hands behind his head getting to a knee to try and minimize the chance of his human getting hurt.

"My- my name is Officer Riley," He shows his badge out towards the most decorated looking Salamander, "We're looking for a kid. Their parents said they were grabbed by a feral Astartes and we were wondering if you knew of anything? Perhaps you found them?"

Sunny starts to translate before a gauntleted hand is held up, "I understand and speak their language."

"Well fuck me I guess." Sunny mumbles.

"Why don't you two come with us." The Salamander says as Riley hears the snow crunch behind him as they close in. "It is cold out."

"Alright thank you. Come on Sunny." Officer Riley says swallowing the sinking feeling in his gut. This was always the danger of dealing with "feral" Astartes they tended to group up into warbands or companies.

"We will not hesitate to kill the Night Lord." The Salamander speaks with finality in his voice.

"I will be on my best behavior on the Emperor's word." Suul promises causing the Salamander to hum.