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lola-babylon · 1 year ago

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Running the numbers on Brendon, Ryan, and owning the Panic! at the Disco legacy

Some people are a bit upset that Brendon Urie continued performing as PATD after Jon & Ryan left, or after Spencer & Dallon left. One of the primary criticisms you see floating around is that, by using the Panic name for his solo career from 2015-2023. Brendon was profiting off of Ryan's legacy as the main songwriter on the early albums.

Let's dig into that, especially the "profit" bit.

I've seen jokes about Ryan Ross working retail now cause he's broke. We don't know what Ryan does with his days and it's none of our business unless he chooses to share that information publicly, but AFYCSO alone has been certified 4x Platinum in the US, having sold 4 million copies. Ryan, being the main songwriter on the album, would one hopes receive a decent income stream for the royalties and has no need to work a job he doesn't want to pay the bills (recording contracts are usually a Kafkaesque nightmare, but hopefully they had a decent contract where the artists get a fair share of royalties, that it isn't all chewed up by record companies).

But if you look at the album sales over time, this is where it gets interesting.

(well, interesting to a stats and facts wonk)

Here's the Recording Industry of America's certification record for AFYCSO - you can check for yourself here

The album went platinum, meaning sales of a million copies, in 2006, a year after it was released. It took another 9 years for the album to double that figure, selling 2 million copies by 2015 and achieving 2x platinum. But then things took off, with AFYCSO reaching 4 million sales by June 2023 and the resulting 4x platinum certification.

But what stands out here is this - AFYCSO was released in 2005. And fully half of all sales of AFYCSO took place after 2015.

2015 was the year that Panic became a solo project of Brendon Urie's. It also marked the start of the period of some of the band's highest sales since the early days, including their first number one charting album, a second number one album, and (Jebus, please save us from) the single "High Hopes". And Brendon toured extensively - musicians used to tour to encourage people to buy their albums; now that most music is digital musicians rely touring as their largest source of income, which is one of the reasons why a ticket to see Led Zeppelin on their 1975 U.S. tour cost $31 adjusted for inflation to 2023 dollars, but seeing any decently sized musical act in concert these days will set you back well over $100 and that's just for starters.

(I told you I was a stats wonk).

Anyway, through all that work, Brendon was using the Panic name, sure. Was he entitled to? That's not my point here. What he was doing was keeping the Panic name in the public mind, entertaining old fans and winning new ones (not my thing, but again that's not my point) and in those years, those fans purchased 2 million copies of AFYCSO, and as the main songwriter on the album Ryan has received the largest share of the royalties from those sales. Ryan earned and was entitled to that money, of course, but would AFYCSO have sold two million copies between 2015 and 2023 if Brendon had retired the Panic name and continued as a solo artist?

Let's be realistic. No.

When people heard High Hopes or any of the other post split music, they were hearing a Panic at the Disco song. If they liked it, they'd look up the artist Panic at the Disco, find the band's earlier work, and buy/stream it. If they'd heard High Hopes as a Brendon Urie song, and looked up the artist Brendon Urie, is it likely they'd have followed the bread crumb trail, learned about this now defunct band called Panic at the Disco Brendon used to be in, and bought that band's stuff too?

We could go back to 2004/2005 and debate whether Panic would have made it as big as they did back then without Ryan's songwriting skills and determined online hustling of the band. Or without Brendon's vocals and stage presence, or Spencer's creative vision for their image and live performances. Or without that they were all so young, they were just crazy brave enough to put their all into the band when if they'd been only a few years older, they might have been worried about the future enough to stay in or go to college, or train as a hairdresser or whatever. Or for that matter whether they had all that, and the right sound at the right time, and made the right connections, oh and they weren't exactly bad looking. There's so many reasons bands do or don't make it. Just talent is never enough. Trying to work out which parts of Panic's early success were due to the respective talents of Ryan, Spencer, and/or Brendon nearly 20 years on is like trying to unscramble an egg (even Brent paid a role, through the loans his parents provided to help pay for the band's practice space and van for the early tours). But it's unrealistic to say Panic was a success solely because of Ryan or that Brendon trampled all over that to get to the top solo. Either way....

Brendon Urie continuing as Panic has been, financially, very benefical for Ryan. Brendon continuing with the Panic name has meant AFYCSO was from 2015-2023 the first album of a very successful currently touring act, and not a footnote to Brendon Urie's career from his now defunct first band (I don't see it that way at all - this post is about album sales and money, not artistic integrity). And Ryan has received the royalties from albums that would never have been sold if PATD officially disbanded in 2009 or 2013 or whatever.

And whilst Ryan has been at home restoring antique cuckoo clocks or whatever he chooses to do, Brendon's been missing his family, home, and dogs, getting up at 4am to catch flights, living out of suitacses, answering inane interview questions, sleeping on tour buses and wondering what country he's in today - and, indirectly, making Ryan money. If Ryan only cared about money he probably would have continued on with Panic past 2009, but I'm sure the royalties he's received since 2015 haven't been a burden either. I'm not saying Ryan owes Brendon anything, he doesn't, and Brendon only lived that life because he loved it, or thought the performing bit made it all worth it (along with making a bunch of money for himself).

This post has focused on AFYCSO, though of course Ryan also gets royalties from Pretty. Odd, which has had a long overdue reappraisal from audiences who realise it's really fucking good. (I'll use the correct punctuation this once, but there was no way I was going to add an exclamation point every time I typed the word panic). Anyway, crunching the numbers on one album was enough. But Brendon didn't profit off of Ryan's legacy by continuing as Panic. It's been very profitable for them both.

#brendon urie #ryan ross #panic at the disco #a fever you can't sweat out #afycso #p!atd #pre split panic #panic! at the disco #spencer smith

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abibeur · 9 months ago

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So. I played Side Order (or rather I finished Side Order, aside from a few completion marks that doesn't offer any spoiler stuff!).

I've been seeing stuff on Tumblr, on Discord servers, on YouTube comments by people who were… Not entirely happy with it. Or rather disappointed. "They could have done more…", "This character was underused…", "I preferred the Octo Expansion…", "Let's re-write it for something better…". And let me tell you, I was (and still am) infuriated when reading these. Not because those comments and posts and messages were unfair, unjust and idiotic or anything (well maybe the re-writing thing was uncalled for), but because I actually loved that DLC. I think that's pretty normal to be angry with seeing a thing you love being shit on, even if I get what all of you meant. But I still wanted to share my own thoughts (because why not, I like saying what I think).

First and foremost, let me just say that I have a pretty different relation with Splatoon than most people. I was in since the release of the first game. I didn't play it due to a lack of Wii U, but I watched a lot of videos. And I liked it! I even had Splatoon OCs, I could be considered a fandom veteran at this point! But after some years, I put it at the back of my head as something I loved. When the Switch came out, I didn't have the money for it and no one would buy me one, so I continued to be a PC gamer. And when I saw the news of a Splatoon 2, I dismissed it like it was something silly, "what can you say more about Splatoon!?" I knew there was some new idols, some stuff about a DLC, Callie being kidnapped, but that's all. I dismissed all of this, and as a result I don't have much of an attachment for it. But in 2021, when I saw the news about a third game, I was ecstatic again. And in 2022, when I finally could afford it, I bought a Switch. Not just any Switch, the Splatoon themed one, and I pre-ordered the game. And when it came out, I spent less than a day to finish the story mode, and it was one of the best day of my life, I played Splatoon for 16 entire hours. Splatoon 3 is now my most played game on the Switch, more than 300 hours (that can seem not that much for some of you, but I'm a casual gamer, I don't play every day, so that's still a lot!). I even bought Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion after that. Splatoon 2 story mode was incredible, because that's the game I never got to play but more mastered. Octo Expansion was incredible, because it was… incredible. But I still liked Splatoon 3 story mode better. Is it because I've played it before? Because I hadn't the one year of unskippable Off the Hook news to make me like them before the DLC (to be fair I didn't know much of Deep Cut too!)? Because it clicked more on me? Honestly I don't care. It's not important, because it's still my preferences. But let met tell you, when the news of Splatoon 3 DLC dropped, I was roaring. Every crumbs of news and trailers widened my life expectancy. I was finally sharing the hype that you felt for Octo Expansion. And…

Two days ago, I played it. And I loved it. Why? Why did I love it where so many people seem disappointed? This will not be an analysis, I'm not good at those, just… Here's how I see things. Also there will be huge spoilers so if you haven't censored the tags for whatever reason, I will hide it beneath a read more because I'm nice.

First, the gameplay. When I heard it was going to be a roguelite, I was intrigued, because it seemed interesting. I was wondering how it was going to play out, more like The Binding of Isaac, or like Hades… Okay I only played those two. And it was like Hades. But I think the best thing to come out of this gameplay is… Well, the fact is every mission from all other story modes (including octo expansion) are pretty much the same in that they have an intended way to be beaten. Sure, for OE and S3 you have a choice of weapons, and there's probably unorthodox ways to finish them (including speedruns), but it's still organised around a specific way to deal with the levels. You go at one point and there you're done. And that's why I will never re-play the story modes I already finished. I know the ropes, so… Why? But here… The gameplay itself doesn't change much. It's an amalgamation of most Splatoon gameplay since now, Salmon Run, Ranked Match, Octo Expansion levels… But the way you APPROACH this gameplay is different and that's why every thing changes. Because you are now free to choose. You don't want a stage? Choose another one, the cost of a good chip and membux not being that punishing, you want a specific type of chip? Go for it! There is so much fun combos to do, I have fun at every run! They told us it was going to be replayable. And they haven't failed to give. Because when I want to replay a game, then I know it's good. Aside of multiplayer games and games made to be replayable (TBOI, Dishonored…), some of favourite games are Half-Life 2 (my favourite game in general), Hollow Knight and Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story. Once you've finished exploring it all, well there is nothing else. But I still want to experience it again. And again. I have tens and even hundreds of hours on each of them. So yeah. If a game makes me want to replay it, I like it! And also… The final fight. The "phase 2" of the final fight. It was probably the most satisfying gameplay in all of Splatoon. Every path you took? Every path you didn't take? It was there. And you could experience it all together and finally finish your first run, empowered by it, in-game and outside. This was so good. I really wish we will get updates like more stages, bosses or even chips, because wow.

Secondly, the atmosphere. This point will be much shorter, but holy shit this game was incredible to be immersed into. The cold and sanitised atmosphere of the Spire? Amazing. Obvious Portal and liminal spaces vibes, but hey. And the music… Really the music makes a lot of it. The final fight music is absolutely incredible, one more time, and the credits theme is probably my favourite credits theme of every Splatoon game and DLC (that VIOLIN, that heckin' VIOLIN). I wouldn't be able to say which one of Octo Expansion and Side Order's atmospheres was my favourite. I guess I'm less sensitive to childhood memories and such but hey. Both DLC's atmospheres were incredible good.

Finally… The sore point of everything I guess, the story. I guess we expected more. Even myself, I expected something darker, deeper, more mysterious and esoteric… Have I been disappointed. No. I understand that some people were, but I am not. And frankly, I feel like I don't have to be. Like what do we really wished for? More octoling lore? Marina's past uncovered? Mature themes and dark atmosphere? I am just describing Octo Expansion. We didn't need Octo Expansion 2.0. Every theme that I've seen wished for? Octo Expansion tackled them, greatly even. So did we really need to do the same thing again? I feel like Splatoon 3 was the great conclusion of the other games' story modes, where all marine life finally united against the common enemy: mammals, the past of Earth's life coming back for its great revival. And it was a spectacular conclusion. And Side Order was Octo Expansion's conclusion. But it wasn't that bombastic, it was more of a calm conclusion, an epilogue of some sort. Marina wasn't in great danger or anything (well she was but less than we expected), we didn't need to expand the damsel in distress role for confirming Marina and Pearl's relation (which was pretty much hinted on greatly without it lmao), we already knew that. We didn't need some dramatic story about Marina's departure's effect on the one she was close to, like some people predicted for Acht. I think some fan comics explored this way better and Nintendo telling their own version would have been disappointing either for it or for the fan comics' versions! We didn't need more insights on Eight, because once again Octo Expansion ALREADY did this. Eight seems happy with their new name and identity, so why should we uncover more? They already won a lot with Octo Expansion and their sacrifices would have been dull if there were reveals on "who they really are".

Nah. Side Order, how I see it, is a story about fixing the damage made in the Octo Expansion. It's a story about recovery. About finally confirming your place in the world and accepting that everything will not be like you think it will. Acht is not there to expose Marina's errors, Acht is there to show how this recovery can work. She symbolises every octoling Marina left when she quit the army and ESPECIALLY every octoling she swore to help. And she's also there because it would have been less interesting to see an octoling we've never seen before, especially since she is an octoling we knew got Kamabo Co.'d! Every palette is someone we already know, an anchor to the world of Splatoon, and for Eight, an anchor to their memories, as the locker was their palette. As they know more and more people, they know more and more where their place in the world is. And the end of your first run? The start of the final boss phase 2? Yeah the music is Pearl, Marina and Acht's. But it is Eight's pulse that got everything back together. Their heart beating made the world beating again. They found freedom, now they found their place in the world. They're finally complete. Like you complete your palette with every chips at once. Octo Expansion final fight was their last fight for freedom. But I think this was their last fight for identity.

But outside of that, I think Order/Smollusk is more than that. More and more we advance through completing the palettes, we learn that Smollusk is the result of Marina's wish for order in her life (and her fellow octolings') and especially the other octolings developers dreams. And I think that's really important, because after that, we learn that why Smollusk still fights us is because it's… alone. And Acht seemingly understands that. You know why this is? Why it doesn't understand Marina's intentions by "betraying" it? Because Marina, as opposed to the other developers and Acht, found someone. She found her partner for life, the love of her life you could say, she found someone else that could offer her something great. And I think the other developers didn't find that companionship, so they had other goals with the Memverse, and Acht, left behind by Marina, felt this loneliness too, taking refuge in music, so that's why she understood what Smollusk felt. I think Splatoon story is a lot about isolation, solitude and loneliness. The (Inkadian) octolings were chased from the surface, living in the underground, isolated and forced into military life. When they risked survival, they stole the great zapfish and we sent then back into the dark. So they retaliated by stealing it again and also kidnapping Callie, separating Marie from the person she holds dearest (while Callie thought she could offer them company and finally uniting back the two people). Octo Expansion was also about isolation from the surface, for everyone involved and Tartar… Well the mammal (and adjacent) survivors don't really have it well, huh? Judd was made immortal, a great lonely situation for one of the last mammals, even if the professor give him Lil Judd for that (isolating the latter from self expression, oops!), Tartar wanted finally someone who could understand the knowledge he was bearing, and in his final instants was longing to return to the professor and for Grizz… We saw what happened in the logs! But this is not where it ends. The first final Splatfest was literally choosing between the Squid Sister, separating one from the other. And when the Splatocalypse happened, we thought it would be the same, that both option were going to be negative. A endless world of anomy where nothing makes sense against a cold and dystopic dictatorship. But we saw Chaos rather meant a world of differences where anyone can be what they want to be and still be reunited with people. So now we see what Order meant: reuniting people by putting them on equal terms. And at the end, that's what you and Smollusk agreed on! He'd be a difficult final boss and you'd be a formidable opponent for him! Splatfests weren't meant to be divisive or anything, it's just a fun way to see what do people choose in their life. So to face loneliness and meet new and fun people, what will you choose? Chaos or Order?

I guess I understand if it wasn't the story you wanted to see. But I liked it either way, as I also struggle with loneliness and finding my place in the world. And as I also like roguelites!

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 side order #splatoon 3 side order spoilers #side order #side order spoilers #somewhat of a long post with my thoughts

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6okuto · 2 years ago

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Hello Nia it is bug jar anon I’ve actually resurrected myself. Had to claw through all the dirt and make a soul pact and everything yeah it was quite the ordeal anyways

If you ever have any Mhin headcanons I would be forever indebted to you but also no pressure

GENERAL MHIN HCS

gn!reader | OMG. OMGGGG OMG HELLO Welcome Back friend 🫶🫂 i respect and love a little resurrection i hope ur doing awesome 🫶 ofc i have mhin content for u

playing with mhin's hair..!!! them relaxing and letting you do whatever . think about mhin getting hair in their face and tying it into a little half-do situation. perf

we know they feed stray cats on patrols but have we considered the thought they've done it enough that the cats recognize them. that mhin has a mental schedule and map of where some regular ones are and makes sure to visit to see if they're alright :'(

THE CATS BUMPING AGAINST THEIR LEG AND PURRING 🙁💔 mhin smiling softly while petting them and talking to them quietly (because they're some of the only company they'll let themself have) (sorry.)

one more cat point. i'm not sure if they'd name them,, mhin gives me just remembering their appearance/personality vibes. but if YOU asked about names or wanted to name them,, well who are they to stop you. and of course the next time they see the cat they'll greet it with the name you chose.

you can gain mhin's trust / some affection by buying them sweets 🤞 i think it'd be very cute scene where they offer one of their favourites to you when you start getting along..

mhin and stargazing...i know they've got to have some favourite spots. they know where to get an awesome view of the night sky without any distractions!! imagine them bringing you up there and maybe talking about different constellations, how they found it, etc :(

^ you being the only other person who knows where these spots are... checking them first when looking for them.....

the others figure out you and mhin have are getting along and they won't fully leave either of you alone LOL. kuras and leander telling you to keep an eye on them / teasing you / etc yeah yeah alright guys relax

gets mad/worried if you get attacked. like in a raised voice "what were you thinking?" way before they realize and try to calm down and treat you. they can't hide the fact that they yelled your name in panic and ran over so

KISS THE BEAUTY MARK KISS THE BEAUTY MARK KI

mhin the type of person who if you started peppering their face with kisses they'd blush and ask what you're doing and why without actually pushing you away.

stares at you when you try to initiate small talk but inevitably answers anyways. same thing with dumb silly questions. they go back to what they were doing but if you keep pestering them they go "no, why would you even turn into a worm?" like

the type of person to get sleepy and do the head drooping thing so you get to pull them to rest against your shoulder

mhin has a very nice laugh...trust me. you get them to laugh and it's clear and lovely and their eyes squint and they sort of tilt their head down subconsciously and

kind of awkward about pda and initiating any physical affection but i think if you hugged them, after initial tension ofc,, they really want to melt into it. like they hesitantly wrap their arms around you but then they let themself rest in the crook of your neck

they look like they don't trust themself with gifts. they second guess anything they think of getting you but they actually end up getting something really useful/nice ? mhin pays close attention to your habits and interests even if they pretend not to

dry texter....actually no. they'd be snarky. they say stuff in a deadpan way. i think it'd be funny if they react to what they think are dumb texts with a thumbs down emoji before actually responding. oh that's so them with leander if they don't leave him on seen

#touchstarved game #touchstarved #mhin x reader #touchstarved mhin #🧾nia.answers #<3 bug jar anon #mhin gives me a little kenma energy #Who gets me. anyone. anybody #nia + touchstarved

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pixelated-pogues · 2 years ago

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Gucci Induced Heartbreak (r.c)

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x Reader; JJ Maybank x best friend!reader

Summary: The girl from the Gucci store captivated Rafe's attention, and you never got it back. JJ helps gather the remnants of your broken pieces.

Warnings: Cursing, cheating, angst, asshole Rafe :)

Word Count: 5.7k

A/n: MY WORK IS ORIGINAL AND IS NOT TO BE COPIED OR REPOSTED ELSEWHERE. Be kind. DON'T steal other people's writing, thank you.

Gif Creds: @seredelgi

I wish I was that girl from that Gucci store She never wore any makeup and she owns couture I got pimples where my beauty marks should be I got dry skin on my elbows and knees

I never liked her, wanted to be like her Hate how you look at her, 'cause you never saw me Like I was an arm piece, like I was an ordinary girl

“Rafe, why do we even have to go to Gucci? We’ve had a hundred conversations about how ugly all of their products are. How many times have you insisted that their stuff looks like it’s modeled after the tackiest pieces you’d find in your grandmothers house?” You groan, not understanding why he’s suddenly so interested in a store that he’s always hated. Rafe rolls his eyes at your displeasure, continuing to guide you down the busy street toward Gucci. “Why waste time ogling over things that cost more than your bike?”

“Because, Y/n, there’s a pair of sunglasses that Ward absolutely despises, and I want to buy them for our trip to Boca next week, to piss him off,” he explains, making a point to hold the gaudy door open so that you can walk in. You shoot him a displeased glare, begrudgingly walking past him into the overly air conditioned building, immediately crinkling your nose at the strong scent that wafts into your nose upon entering. The Pogue side of you immediately switches into overdrive at the proper atmosphere of the building. There are countless couples and shoppers ogling over various overpriced products, each of them looking straight out of a vogue magazine with their perfectly pressed clothing and expensive accessories. You can’t help but feel out of place in the vast room, the only sense of normalcy you feel comes from Rafe’s arm slithering around your waist to guide you through various display cases.

“Rafe Cameron, it’s good to see you again,” a sickly sweet voice muses, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Your eyes follow the voice, confusion clouding your features due to the unexpected greeting. Your eyes fall on a woman that can’t be much older than you. She’s naturally gorgeous, no sign of makeup adorning her face as she shoots your boyfriend a, much too, friendly smile. Bile rises in your throat at the sight of her inadvertently scanning over Rafe with a hungry expression, completely oblivious to your presence.

"Ah, Marissa, the pleasure is all mine," Rafe's flirtatious tone only adds fuel to your inner fire, confusion coursing through your veins at their being on first name basis. Unsolicited insecurity embeds itself into your chest the longer you witness them staring at each other. The woman's beautiful attributes and unwavering confidence makes the crisp air in the room feel like it's choking you out. You're convinced that if you walked away right now, neither of them would notice, and that fact makes you wish it was possible to combust in the thin air. You suddenly feel very aware of the weight of Rafe's hand on the small of your back, the normally comforting touch feels fiery and tainted against the fabric of your shirt.

"Who's your friend?" Marissa questions, not tearing her eyes away from Rafe's as she nods in your direction. The boldness in her lack of even sparing you a glance only makes you feel smaller and more out of place.

"Girlfriend," you speak before you're able to catch yourself, noticing the way Rafe's hand dropped to his side the second Marissa addressed you. You look in his direction, expecting an introduction, but opt to speak for yourself when he doesn't. "I'm Y/n."

She shoots you an overly cheery grin, reaching to shake your hand. "Y/n, that's a pretty name." You can tell she's being inauthentic by the way her voice grows slightly more shrill as the complement rolls from her tongue. Her focus doesn’t stay on you for too long, her eyes dancing to Rafe again, the insincere complement she’d uttered seemingly wasting away with the passing moments. “Can I help you find anything?” The flirtatious tone comes back the second he’d focus returns to Rafe, making your blood run cold at the way he clearly appears to be eating up her attention.

You willingly become a shadow in the conversation, opting to watching their interaction unfold as though you’re nothing more than an irrelevant fly on the wall. While the flirtatious demeanor and seductive heart eyes she’s pointing at Rafe emit a sour taste in your mouth, all you can focus on are the stars in Rafe’s eyes as he drinks her in. The sudden suspicion that Gucci sunglasses weren’t Rafe's actual intention behind stopping at this god forsaken store hits you like a ton of bricks, making you feel embarrassed by the fact that he dragged you into this interaction with zero regard of how it'd make you feel to see him so engrossed in another girl.

You decide right then and there that you don't like this girl. This apparent goddess, in Rafe's eyes. Yet, the reason for the dislike can't fully be attributed to the way she's shamelessly undressing him with her eyes. While that fact is a valid reason for your dislike in her, a bigger part of you dislikes her because you envy her. You envy the way that Rafe's soaking in her presence, latching onto her every word. You envy the way that he looks at her like she formed the stars in the sky, because he's never looked at you like that. Not even the first time he he'd admitted to being in love with you.

Being in the the presence of another woman that Rafe seemingly idolizes makes him feel like a stranger next to you. Rather than being Y/n Y/l/n, the girl who tamed Rafe Cameron by teaching him what it's like to be loved, in this moment, you feel like a nameless bystander. Nothing more than an ordinary girl. And it leaves you spiraling, standing invisible as they carry on in fruitless conversation.

I wish I was special I'd give all my special Away to a loser Now I'm just a loser

Standing in the Gucci store, silenced by insecurity and frustration, all you can do is feel envious of Marissa while harboring a major resentment for your boyfriend. The entire situation makes you feel ridiculously small, a wave of sadness settling into your chest the longer you remain unaddressed. Everything in you screams at you to move, to at least excuse yourself and pretend to scale the items in the store while the two catch up, but your feet feel glued to the tile floor below them.

Your sadness only grows when self deprecating thoughts begin trickling to the forefront of your mind.

Maybe if I wasn’t entangled in friendships with the Pogues. Maybe if I learned to bite my tongue and smile pretty during business events. Maybe if I let Rafe do whatever he wanted, be it coke, be it dealing, be it getting handsy with other girls at parties. Maybe, just maybe, I’d be deemed as special in his eyes. Maybe I’d have even an inkling of what this girl has that makes her so special. Maybe I wouldn’t be and feel like such a loser. Your brain relents, causing your hands to tremble and your breath to catch in your throat. Your eyes sting with tears of humiliation, but you quickly blink away all evidence of them. The last thing you need is for either of them to catch you getting emotional.

God, Y/n, you’re so pathetic. You scold yourself, forcing a tight-lipped smile when their conversation ends and their focus returns back to you. You notice them that, in the midst of their conversation, Rafe secured the sunglasses he came for. They’re now perched on the edge of his nose as his arm moves to snake around your waist again, the comforting touch feels insincere now that you’ve witnessed the way he looks at her.

“Ready to go,” Rafe asks, glancing down at you the second Marissa walks away to assist another customer.

“Yeah,” you hummed, your voice feeling poisonous on your tongue.

I used to be special But you made me hate me Regret that I changed me I hate that you made Just like you

You gon' hear mouth, you could kick me out You say I'm too wild, you gon' hate me now

"You're too wild, Y/n," Rafe's voice was condescending and low when he addressed you. His hand ripped through his previously styled hair after slamming the driver's side door, locking you both into the confined space. His eyes pierced through you, clear disapproval etched onto his expression as he glared deep into your eyes. The pressed suit he wore to the business event was wrinkled, no longer pristine due to being jostled in his manhandling you while dragging you out of the club to save himself further embarrassment.

You couldn't contain the bitter laugh that bubbled from your chest after he uttered those words, disbelief replacing the anger you were feeling when he shamelessly allowed that woman to throw herself all over him in front of everyone, knowing you were standing right there. "Of course that's all you have to say to me right now," you snorted, breaking eye contact to slide the uncomfortable heels from your feet. You needed something else to focus on outside of his insufferable gaze.

"What the hell else am I supposed to say? You know how important this event was for my family, and you just had to make a scene and ruin our chances of a normal night of business," he seethed, ripping at his tie. "Jesus Christ, you're a fucking child."

"I'm the child," you released an incredulous scoff, the insincere smirk on your painted lips growing. "That's right, I'm the immature one in this relationship. Have you stopped to realize that I wouldn't have caused a scene if you had enough respect for me to keep other women's paws off you? Hm? You didn't seem too concerned with your reputation when she was trying to rip your jacket off."

"That's enough," he barked, slamming his fist against the steering wheel, earning a startled jump from you. Your reaction gave him enough reason to compose himself. He sucked in a sharp breath and blinked his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose before straightening in his seat with a clenched jaw, finding you with his eyes again. "That's enough, Y/n. Your insecurity in yourself isn't enough reason for an unprofessional outburst in public. I get that you're half pogue, but that doesn't mean I need you flaunting it during business dinners like it's some special prize. Reputation may not be a big deal to you, but it matters a whole lot to Ward. If you want to keep him from forcefully extracting you from this equation, you'll hold your tongue next time your pride feels threatened by another woman."

Your jaw dropped at the audacity he had to utter those words to you. Of course he couldn't, or wouldn't, see your side. Of course he wouldn't admit that he should've had enough respect to politely deter the woman's advances. In Rafe's eyes, he's never wrong. Conflict and disappointment always fell on everyone else when it comes to him.

"Your insecurity isn't enough reason for an unprofessional outburst in public." "..hold your tongue next time your pride feels threatened by another woman." Rafe's words echoed through your mind the entire way home that night, your heart heavy with their hurtful connotations which you couldn't help but accept over yourself during the drive. It was one of the many times you were left to accept false realities over yourself after a situation that could’ve been shut down had he spoken up for your relationship.

You’ve always felt that having your feet on both sides of the island, being half pogue & half kook, made you special with your ability to understand both sides. Yet, Rafe always makes a point to remind you that your Pogue side makes you a liability, it hinders you from being extraordinary. At first, you told him off about it, throwing his antics right back at him whenever he declared that being half pogue was a major flaw. As the months dragged on though, the constant reminders, warnings, and arguments were tiring. You love Rafe and every arrogant, infuriating, slightly manipulative aspect about him. So, you stopped letting him hear your mouth. You stopped talking back and instead took everything that he had to say about your inescapable flaws, internalizing them. Eventually letting them silence you completely as you became the cookie cutter girlfriend he appeared to want.

That’s what you do when you’re in love. You compromise, no matter what it costs you. Right?

Boy, you got me fucked up, now I'm gettin' fucked up Thinkin' 'bout us fuckin', why you'd have to fuck her?

"Rafe, what the-" you stop in your tracks, jaw falling slack, at the sight of him in bed with another girl. "Rafe, what the fuck." Your voice comes out low and bitter, eyes trying to make sense of the scene in front of you as they scramble to separate from each other, clearly surprised by your presence. Rafe clamors out of his bed, swiftly pulling his boxers back on while you stand unmoving, in complete shock. Your fight or flight reflexes appear nonexistent as you freeze completely, the room spinning as Rafe approaches you.

"Y/n," he begins, eyes lacking any trace of sympathy as he grasps your face in his hands. "You weren't supposed to see this."

"You told me to come over an hour ago," you spit, shocked that any words rolled from your tongue in your seemingly vegetative state. "How am I supposed to believe that you didn't want me to see you fucking another girl?"

"It's nothing personal, baby. This is on me," he continues, resisting the urge to turn around at the sound of his guest shuffling out of his bed in nothing but his t-shirt.

"Obviously this is on you," you agree, words dripping with malice. "You're a piece of shit, and in case it isn't obvious, we're done."

With that, you shove him away from you, feeling accomplished when he stumbles backwards, managing to catch himself before he crashes to the floor. "I hope she was worth it." Your breath catches in your throat when the girls identity registers in your mind. The girl from the Gucci store. Marissa. The realization hits you like a freight train, carrying you out of Tannyhill hastily. Your brain solely focused on exiting the house as fast as possible.

****

"Y/n," JJ calls after noticing you approaching them on the beach. He rushes to embrace you once you’re close enough, the water droplets on his tan skin dampening your clothes. "We didn't think you were coming." A light smile forms on your lips when he blots at a wet spot on your shirt with an apologetic grimace.

"I wasn't," you hum, keeping your voice and stature light. "Last minute change of plans but I'm here and I brought snacks for everyone. Maybe a bit of alcohol for me." JJ's eyebrows furrow, his eyes subtly doing a once over on you, knowing fully well that you only willingly provide alcohol when shit hits the fan or there's something worth celebrating. Kie runs to greet you before he can question it, immediately dragging you towards the rest of the Pogues. You refrain from meeting the concerned look JJ's been sending your way since you walked onto the beach.

"You're drunk at five o'clock on a Tuesday, Y/n. What gives?" JJ asks, knowing full well that your filter disappears after a few drinks. Everyone’s seated in a circle on the sand playing a game of truth or dare, letting the afternoon sun dry your wet clothes.

“You’re supposed to say, Y/n, truth or dare. You can't just assume I'm picking truth,” you state matter of factly, taking another swig of the drink in your hand. Silently testing JJ with the sarcasm lacing your slurred words.

“Okay, you got me, Y/n, truth or dare?” His eyes are expectant, clear anticipation showing in his raised eyebrows.

“Dare,” you wink, a shit-eating grin on my face at the sight of his shoulders deflating in defeat.

“I dare you to jump off the dock, alone,” he huffs, obviously displeased by the obvious deflection.

“That’s too easy. You’re too kind to me, J,” you giggle, kicking your shoes off. You shrug your flannel off and take a big breath. “Rafe cheated on me.” You’re bolting toward the dock, enjoying the feeling of the wind whipping against your face at the break of dawn before you can catch any of their reactions. You miss the looks of shock plastered on all of their faces, and the way JJ immediately rushes after your retreating figure, calling your name as you sprint to the furthest dock without a second glance. Your speed and coordination shocks you due to the sheer amount of alcohol coursing through your veins, but you don’t falter, allowing your feet to carry you over the aged boards as you anticipate the fall.

“Y/n,” JJ shouts from behind as you near the edge of the dock, the sound of the waves crashing below only adding to your adrenaline high, which started the second you dropped the bombshell of your ended relationship on them without second thought. You reach the last of the dock before he can stop you. Your foot beats against the wood one last time before you shoot into the air, arms out as though you’re taking flight. Time slows as you stare at the horizon before the view is torn away when you collide with the water.

The sheer momentum from running, partnered with the crashing of the waves, drags you further and further into the waters depths. Rather than fighting against the current, your body freezes, instinctively letting the breath inside your lungs escape in a mass of bubbles, slipping away for several moments. Peace floods your chest as the water tears the weight of the last several hours away. You let yourself go with the waves, body unmoving while the water takes its course.

The next thing I know, I’m being dragging out of the ocean and onto the beach. There’s a series of yelling as my body falls limp against the sand. The weight of someone’s body comes over me, their hand softly, yet firmly, smacking against my cheek in an attempt to pull me back to a conscious state. In a matter of seconds I’m sputtering and coughing up the water I’d sucked in moments before, my lungs screaming for a breath of fresh air as my eyes fly open, immediately falling on my friends who are gathered around me in a panic.

“What the hell was that Y/n?! What were you thinking, you could’ve gotten yourself killed,” JJ exclaims, his hands falling on my shoulders now that I’m awake.

“JJ, let her breathe,” John B instructs, carefully dragging JJ from his position on top of me while Kie and Pope help me sit up. JJ follows John B, his hands flying everywhere while he rambles incoherent words while John B does his best at consoling him.

“Here,” Kie breathes, draping a towel across my shoulders which I gladly accept. I tap her hand gently as a silent ‘thank you’ my eyes instinctively drifting back to the horizon where the sun has fully began setting. Heaviness welcomes itself back on my chest with the reality crashing back onto me like the waves did moments ago. My body constricts on itself, my arms tangling themselves around my legs when they fold against my chest. There's a heavy ringing in my ears, drowning out Kie and Pope's voices asking if I'm okay.

"Y/n," Kie's voice sounds distant, but you feel her collapse next to you, promptly throwing her arms around your trembling frame. She pulls your head into her chest, her hand running up and down your back in a comforting manner while your eyes remain fixed in front of you in a daze.

"I didn't mean to scare everyone," you whisper, voice trembling with the tears stinging the back of your eyes. "I just needed it to stop for a second. I can't believe I thought he changed."

"Oh Y/n," she pouts, pulling you closer to her. The tone in her voice is what sends the tears pouring down your cheeks partnered with strangled sobs. More bodies surround the pair of you as you unfold, becoming a blubbering mess of heartbroken cries.

"That was stupid," JJ scolds, dropping on his knees in front of you, cupping your face in his hands to give himself a little extra assurance that you're okay. His thumbs swipes at the ongoing mass of tears pouring down your cheeks, the frown on his lips creasing his brows together as he studies you. "Being the idiot in the group is my job. I don't need you trying to take my spot." His words successfully lighten the dim mood, earning a watery laugh from you as he pulls you against his chest. Shooting John B a sad look as your body molds against him, his heart still hammering in his chest due to the fact that he'd nearly lost you to the high tide of the sea.

I don't wanna see you, why'd you have to treat me Like I was an ordinary girl?

A few weeks later, you're at the boneyard with the Pogues, and a good half of the island, enjoying a kegger to take advantage of the crispy summer breeze.

"Do a shot with me," you command to no one in particular, unconvinced that any of the random people around you by the fire actually heard the request. Your eyes blearily search the group to see if any of them make even the slightest move to humor you through shots.

"Come on kid," JJ interrupts your haze, his hand on the small of your back as he helps you off the stump you're seated on. "I'll do one with you."

"This is why you're my favorite," you gush, shamelessly leaning against him as he guides you toward the booze table.

"If taking a few shots with you is what it takes to be your favorite, I should've been your favorite person a long time ago," he jokes, slipping a disposable shot glass in your hand, humoring you. You graciously tip the cup in his direction as a wordless "thank you," your blushed cheeks beaming with the smile you're directing at him. He notices that it doesn't quite reach your eyes, but chooses not to comment on it. Knowing that your hurt from Rafe's betrayal is still so fresh and that you're utilizing alcohol to cope tonight, he doesn't want to be the one to distract you from the attempted progress.

"You've always been my favorite person," you admit. Though there's still a lighthearted aura around the two of you, your words drip with a sincerity that doesn't go unnoticed by him, humbling the heavy heart in his chest as he studies you.

"Good," he hums, knocking his cup against your gently. "You've always been my favorite person too, and it'd be really awkward for both of us if you didn't reciprocate the feelings. Now, what do you say? Can we drink to that?"

"Hell yeah, we can drink to that," you giggle, knocking your cups together one more time before welcoming the stale liquid into your mouth, letting it coat the walls of your dry throat. JJ smiles fondly at you, watching as you immediately turn to find another drink, mumbling incoherent words in his direction. Once you find the beer you were looking for, you slide one into JJ's hand, accepting the arm he throws over your shoulder to lead you back to where the rest of the Pogues are seated.

The rest of the night carries on for several hours until your alcohol driven carefree energy depletes, welcoming your sleepy drunk side with open arms. Your eyes droop as you fully lean into JJ's side, who's got his arm draped across your shoulder as he carries on with a few tourons who'd seen him surfing several days prior.

"Yeah, man, I'm going back out tomorrow if you want to join," he tells them, catching the exhaustion oozing from your position against his side. "Listen, we've got to get out of here, but I'll be at that same spot around noon. Meet me there if you guys are free." Each of them nod, a few of them dabbing him up before the two of you retreat.

You grumble into his shoulder at the movement, having been enjoying the opportunity to get comfortable where you two were standing.

"Tired sweetheart?" he asks, scanning the plethora of people in hopes to find John B and the rest of the group. He tuts his tongue at the sight of Pope, practically dragging you to where he's seated next to Kiara. You simply nod against his chest, shivering due to the temperature that's dropped drastically since the sun disappeared over the horizon. "Yo, Pope, round the troops. Princess needs sleep." Pope glances in your direction, nodding in understanding before ending the conversation he'd been in. JJ follows his friends retreating figure for a second before turning the two of you around to make the short trek to the Twinkie. You'll be able to get comfortable while Pope gathers the rest of the Pogues, and that's JJ's sole focus due to the fact that you're fighting to keep your eyes open.

Several minutes later, the rest of the group is filing into the Twinke, sliding into random spots around the van as John B starts the ignition.

"We good? Everyone's here?" he asks, shifting the van in reverse. After being assured that everyone is accounted for, he pulls off of the beach, making the short drive back to the Chatteau.

"Alright, sleepyhead, let's get you inside," JJ instructs, shaking your sleeping figure awake one the van pulls into the driveway. Everyone files out before JJ moves to help you up.

"Too much moving," you grumble, folding against the seat you've been napping in. "Just let me sleep in here."

JJ rolls his eyes at your antics, not releasing your arm from the gentle hold he has on it to help you out of the vehicle. "No can do, sweetheart. You'll be complaining for the next week about how your neck hurts from sleeping like that, and I refuse to endure that. If you sit up long enough, I'll let you ride my back into the house." He smiles when you straighten up at his words, immediately climbing onto his back which he promptly offered you. His arms hook around the bottom of your thighs to steady you against him, making sure that you're situated before he guides you into the house, passing all of the Pogues to get to the guest room.

"Home sweet home," he breathes, carefully setting you on the bed to find more comfortable clothes for you to sleep in. "Here you go, tiny."

You smile at the nickname he'd given you back when you were in elementary school, gladly accepting the small pile of clothes he hands you. "I'm gonna change in here," you inform him, your smile growing when he immediately nods, spinning to face the wall so that you have privacy to do so.

The second you're both changed, JJ switches the light off and meets you by the bed. He tucks you into the covers, combing his fingers through your hair as he sits in the space next to you. You hum at the feeling, unable to keep your eyes from drooping further.

"You're lucky you're my favorite. I don't just give my bed to anyone," he teases after a few seconds of favorable silence, his heart swelling at the way his presence seems to ease the emotions swirling behind your tired eyes.

You scoff at him, thinking back to the amount of times he's shared this bed with other people. "Actually," you begin, but pause, unsure of what you're even thinking about saying before the question rolls from your tongue. "Can you stay with me? I don't really want to be alone."

He blinks at you from his spot, barely making out your features before he nods. His voice is steady as he murmurs, "Of course." He accepts the spot next to you as his own, unsure why he feels so shy about sharing the bed with you. Having grown up together, you've fallen asleep together countless times. You've even crashed in his bed here, and vice versa, but that doesn't stop a humble feeling from spreading through his chest as you cuddle into him.

I wish I was special I'd give all my special Away to a loser Now I'm just a loser I used to be special But you made me hate me Regret that I changed me I hate that you made just like you Just like you

"I hate myself," you breathe after several moments of silence. The utterance of your inner truth brings a fresh round of bitter tears to your eyes, which you hurriedly wipe away, hating the bile rising up your throat at the brief moment of vulnerability.

"Don't say that," JJ hums, reaching to brush your hair away from your face. His voice is stern, but there's an undertone of sadness to match the look in his eyes.

"It's true," a forced laugh bubbles from your chest, furthering the anguish threatening to burst out of you. "I hate myself so much." There's a heavy silence after the words roll from your tongue, JJ's hand lingers on your cheek for a moment before falling dormant against the mattress, along with all of the words he clearly wants to say. "Why couldn't I have just been enough?" The words were whispered more to yourself than to JJ, it was meant to be an unspoken thought but your mouth opted to spew it regardless. Normally you'd feel embarrassed for unintentionally allowing yourself to be vulnerable, but the heaviness in your entire being is consuming all of the excess energy you have left, so you can't force yourself to care.

"Woah, woah, woah," JJ's voice intercepts you from your inner turmoil again, your eyes tearfully meeting his. The look on his face makes your heart clench further, the sadness in the pit of your stomach churning into guilt prompted by over sharing. “I can’t, in good conscience, be your best friend and let you bash yourself on that assho-on Rafe’s account. Y/n, I’m going to say something, and I really need you to hear me.” He pauses, eyes scanning your face to ensure that he’s got your full attention.

He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, instead moving to cup your face in his hands so that your eyes lock solely on him rather than insecurely bouncing all over the dark room. “He has you convinced that you’re a million things, but everything he’s forced into your head is wrong.” He takes a deep breath, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. “You are more than enough, you understand? I get that you might not be able to accept that right now, but that’s the full truth. And I’ll be right here proving it to you until you believe me, you got that? No pogue left behind, ever. Especially not you. Especially not on some lowlife kook, who didn’t know how great he had it’s, account. I need to know you’re hearing me.” He finally pauses in the middle of his short rant, hands and eyes remained delicately locked in their original position, acting as glue holding your pieces together. He stares deeply into your eyes, silently searching for his answer before speaking again. “Are you hearing me?”

Your lips wobble at the interaction, eyes unable to bat away the reservoir of tears threatening to spill over your eyelids. Unable to trust your words, you nod, your hands gripping the front of his t-shirt for support.

“I need to hear you say it,” he murmurs, his expression soft yet stern.

“I’m hearing you,” you choke out, before erupting into a full on sobbing fit. He quickly shifts to wrap his arms around your shoulders to pull you flush against his chest. Your back twinges at the awkward position you're in, but the emotions bubbling from your chest keep you from having the energy to care as you fully break down against him, your hands balling themselves in the back of his shirt.

Weeks worth of a broken heart, self deprecation, anger, replaying scenarios over and over in your head, and various other emotions unapologetically pour from your chest while he steadies you against him, his comforting antics not faltering for a moment.

“I’ve got you,” he breathes into your hair, kissing the crown of your head. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

"He's such an asshole," you tearfully groan, feeling ridiculous for wasting your time on the king of the kooks. "God, I feel like I molded myself into exactly what he wanted me to be, and for what?"

"Rafe's blind, Y/n," he responds, pulling back s he can rest his chin on top of your head. "And you're far too kind for a guy that didn't accept all of the qualities that make you so special."

You can't help but physically cringe at the word. You stopped feeling special the second Rafe convinced you that your Pogues side was a hindrance to your personality, a flaw in your relationship. The moment you realized he viewed that side of you as an eyesore, you did everything in your power to shield it from him, and seemingly lost yourself in the process.

"I don't feel special," you state with a sigh, wiping the leftover remnants of tears from your cheeks. You're over crying over the man who climbed in bed with another woman.

"Just because you don't feel special doesn't mean you are," JJ hums, snaking his arm around your waist. "I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that's what it takes to make you believe it."

A sad laugh sounds from your chest at his promise, knowing that JJ means everything he's said. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, Maybank."

*************************************

A/N: Here's another draft that I finally dusted the spiderwebs off of and finished up. I hope y'all enjoy it!

Tags: @thelocalpogue @maaybanks @drewstarkey @ssjiara @bluebirdsbluebells @maebanks @poguemackin @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @outerbongs @ilovejjmaybank @marvel-writer @astrydis @hijohnd @pogueslandia @scenesofobx @maybankslover @fallingwallsh

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tire-d-artist · 18 days ago

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How did you come to love butter?☀️

Okay so looking through my gallery and saved posts on different sites, I found out that I got interested in butter around early April this year. I don’t remember what exactly happened but I think I’ve read a lot of Sebson fics and some of them were also sebmarkson/martianson (aka dilf sandwich) so I shipped all three of them together as well and as that usually happens when I get into a new ship, I went to tumblr to find more stuff with them. I don’t remember how, but at a point in time I started to prefer only Jenson and Mark in the ship (don’t get me wrong, I love Seb and I still enjoy various pairings of these three and other drivers with them). I found the few interviews they had together and I thought they were really funny and it was getting ridiculous how often they’d touch each other. I didn’t know their ship name at first, but butter is a hilarious one 10/10!

I can’t explain what exactly makes me love them so much, because it’s hard for me to put my thoughts and feelings into words, but they just have this comforting feeling to me. They may not be very popular or have that much lore (I didn’t think there was much until I found Benetton 2001 and the 2005 Williams situation) and maybe that’s what I like about them. They’re pretty simple and I like simple things. They just look so happy and comfortable around each other it makes me smile (and god knows I need that happiness). I can’t decide if I prefer them as close friends who hook up *cough cough* Mark’s post or if I prefer them romantically (I mean- as romantic as these two can get, seriously- but I can imagine them buying a house together and having many dogs), I guess that’s still to be decided.

So in short, they’re silly and funny and they make me laugh (YOU CAN EAT SPERM WITH CHOPSTICKS??) and I like drawing them so yeah that’s it :D

I could yap more, but I’m gonna stop myself here, because I have irl things to do

Thank you so much for asking!!!

#butter #mw x jb #jenson button #mark webber #jb22 #mw2 #mark/jense #jenson button / mark webber #inbox #tire d talks

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k7l4d4 · 6 months ago

Text

K Reviews and Rants: Murder Drones! Episode 1

Hello all. Today, I embark on a new adventure! I could, technically, be continuing Miraculous Ladybug... but I decided I'd rather do something that doesn't risk me getting an aneurysm at thinking how much it's gone down hill. So, instead, I'm going to review stuff you can find for free online before moving on to other stuff.

Now, Murder Drones, at a first glance, is a fairly tongue in cheek dark parody of various horror genres, centered around the titular drones. But, many secrets lie in waiting... well, this should be fun!

Onto the review. As always, warnings for any profanity on my part.

Okay, not even two minutes in, and this is pretty interesting.

The basic concept "humans end up wiping themselves out on a planet they colonized and the robots left behind form their own civilization, but humans get mad about it so they decide to send other robots to deal with it" is solid. The opening scene is also very tongue in cheek, given that it's literally listed as a file labeled "Exposition." Near the end of the two minute mark, it transitions to a punk-looking robot with a female sounding voice giving a... less then well made presentation.

Said female robot, Uzi going by the closed captions, is complaining about how passive the Workers are being regarding their enemies. Which, given that they are reliant on three big doors, is a valid concern; no matter how durable they are, eventually the Murder Drones are gonna get past them... either by figuring out how to break them, or by breaking the areas AROUND them.

Also, I really, REALLY hope that Uzi didn't use actual blueprints in that presentation, because it's never good when stuff like that is easily accessible in such dangerous circumstances.

Apparently Uzi's answer to the eventual conflict is to make a railgun... and brought it to class. Working or not working, that's insanely dangerous... and it's hilarious how the principle is just looking on like "okay." It's hysterical to me how nonchalant he is about it. But Uzi cackling maniacally while powering up the railgun... yeah, bad sign. She's not alright in the head.

... I'm dying of laughter. The project was a word problem... about buying watermelons. Not even getting into how dumb of a project that is for homework, what's even stupider is how is it even POSSIBLE Uzi misinterpreted it THAT BADLY!? Like, this is the kind of scene that always has me hoping "I hope this sets the tone going forward." It's just hysterical.

One exploding railgun, a dented door, and now we are in the nurse's office. Why would robots even have that? Plus, more tongue in cheek jokes plastered across the wall. I gotta give props on the background details, even if they are just one-off jokes, taking the time to put them in is really cool.

Wow, some bitchy robot cheerleaders made a "joke" about how Uzi was still alive. That's totally fine and not at all disgusting. Ugh...

Really confused on why Uzi has an icepack on her face... is it to cool down her circuits or something?

Oh, new robot dude just walked in. I can't tell if his comments on some guy named Chad's "classic toxic masculinity never ending up being problematic" is just being tongue in cheek or robots being weird about making connections or something. Either way, it's funny from the perspective of making fun of old high school movies and tv show cliches.

O-kay, looks like Uzi's more unpopular than I thought... and really hammering home the "self aware up to a point" idea here, given the "angsty teen" comments. Oh, and apparently her dad's a big deal for making the doors, so Uzi's family name is... Doorman. I wish I was making that up.

Uzi asks why Thad's in the nurse's office, making a joke about testosterone... which goes over Thad's head. Kinda curious myself, since he clearly intended to go there but didn't know UZI was there. It's a bit weird that the question's unanswered.

With the reason behind Thad being at the nurse going unanswered, he questions Uzi about the railgun, and Uzi explains that she's gonna sneak out to get the last part she needs... with Thad having a very good point on why she does that, while also making a reference to how it sounds like she's dealing with some emotional repression (I feel your pain, Uzi, I feel your pain).

Like, for real, WHY would she need to go specifically to the Murder Drone's lair to get the last part she needs? Couldn't she go, I dunno, anywhere else? Like, the things are hunting Workers like her, that doesn't mean they have an abundance of parts she'd need to make her railgun. ...Please don't tell me she's secretly suicidal, please...

Ha! The alarm's built into her head.

Uzi dramatically suiting up... before acting like every stereotypical teen ever in trying to swipe her parents' keys before leaving.

Okay, there's a big vent between the doors. While the whole "crawling through vents" thing is a hollywood invention, it's a genuine security risk when your enemies have missiles, are robots, and can fly. Oh, and Uzi immediately got caught by Khan while sneaking out, I guess. That's also something.

Khan just laughs off the idea of Uzi having a boyfriend. Dick move, Khan, Dick move.

Then Uzi manages to convince him she wants to get into doors like him, and he falls for it instantly. It's totally hilarious. Also, it kinda looks like Khan DOES want to bond with Uzi... but he's got a very limited understanding of how to do so. I don't think he's all there either, given he talked to one of his doors like it's a puppy dog.

...Okay, Khan needs therapy over having had to basically mercy kill Uzi's mom. Like, immediately.

Yeesh, getting a proper look at things outside of the compound, this place looks like shit. I've got no clue if it looked nicer after the Workers took over and just went to hell after the Murder Drones attacked, but... yeah, it's bad.

Okay, so... when Uzi said she "planned to go to the Murder Drones' Lair." She didn't just mean "around the corpse spire," she meant "into" it. ...The 'secretly suicidal' idea is looking more and more likely.

Huh, she actually found stuff other then murdered Worker parts. I'm surprised.

...And one of the Murder Drones is apparently back from a hunt and enjoying a "snack." Uzi, you should probably be reconsidering your life choices right now... and it spotted her. Yup, she's dead.

She got her fighting skills from pirated anime? This is believable, as she is a robot and thus can do shit that would break a human body.

And while it might've cost her an acid-injected hand, we finally get to see the Railgun go off!! ...Fuck that is both awesome and terrifying, AND SHE MADE THIS IN A CLOSED OFF OUTPOST!? Uzi is scary, and anyone who thinks she isn't is in denial.

Hurray, she killed one of the monsters and oh fuck they can regenerate their heads!! FUCK!!!

And she slapped it with a dismembered arm.

Huh, this Nazi-dressed robot's blinking headlight looks a bit off. Also, he's a sweetheart. WHO THOUGHT MAKING THE ROBOTIC MURDER MACHINE A SWEETHEART WAS A GOOD IDEA?!? Don't these people know that giving one of the vicious killers a heart of gold is guaranteed to make them turn on you!?

Huh, I guess his regeneration busted one of his sensors. So... Uzi's safe. For now.

Okay, we learned two things; one, they are called Disassembly Drones, and two, this guy's name is Serial Designation N. He is a puppo of adorableness that I wish to protect, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't need the help in that regard.

Please, N, stop talking. You are making it hard to remember you are a brutal murderer designed to kill everyone Uzi knows!

N is surprisingly chill at having lost three hours of time. Okay, so he's not just sweet, he's stupid as well; that does reduce the odds of him attempting a heel-face turn, the dumb ones tend to take the longest to realize they are on the wrong side.

ANd it looks like the acid is neutralized by the Disassembly Drone's saliva... what weirdo thought that was a good design choice!? Also, the way Uzi goes "we are never talking about this" is such a vibe.

N decides to give the scoop on the other two members:

First is V, who is... psychotic. That's literally the only word to describe it, she just comes off as insane and sadistic for the sake of being sadistic. She also might have some memory issues if she hasn't figured out who N is by this point.

Second is J, the leader. She seems, by all accounts, to be an ultra-aggressive, fanatically loyal corporate jackboot. On the other hand, everything about her screams to me "SHIP HER WITH UZI!!" So I shall. It's toxic, but it is a good poison to endure.

Uzi describes the device in the Murder Drone's base as a spaceship, N as a one use missile (since they weren't taught how to land). They are, technically speaking, both right. Ships need fuel, so unless Uzi could scrounge up enough to transport them off the planet, AND scavenge all the components needed to repair it, it'd be better served breaking it down for parts and coming up with a new design entirely.

Also, the fact that Uzi, a violently unstable Drone with a chip on her shoulder about her people being left to slaughter, is thinking about getting off the planet... yeah, that's a warning sign about her intentions right there.

N's reasoning for continuing the slaughter, aside from the very creepy vibes that imply he and the rest are addicted to Worker Oil (VAMPIRE VIBES!!!) and the pragmatic reason that they need to do so to avoid overheating and dying... it fits him as a character, but also kind of highlights that he's not mentally suited for all this stuff, and makes me question who thought including him in this was a good idea. Although given he's lasted this long, he's definitely not harmless.

Uzi then hits the nail on the head; the Disassembly Drones have no guarantee that they won't be scrapped themselves once their mission is done... but given that J probably wouldn't care given how much of a fanatic she comes off as, and V is too insane to probably process the idea, N might be swayed... given time, at least.

Okay, Uzi apparently has enough survival instincts to run for it when she realized that the other two, non-malfunctioning Murder Drones are back. Good on her!

I'm honestly surprised that V didn't just attack Uzi the second she saw her, given her personality. Of course, said personality might be WHY she's not attacking; her mind probably doesn't think in traditional processes regarding priorities. Still, it's weird that she didn't go for the kill given how brutal she is.

Huh, the Disassembly Drones can reboot each other using slaps. That's... an interesting design choice.

And N, now able to actually remember and process the data his sensors were feeding him, instantly goes to get rid of Uzi's railgun, out of concern of what it would do to his squad. WHY IS HE SO WHOLESOME!? Then again, he's chasing Uzi back to the Doors, and Uzi has the master key and is absolutely slower then him... yeah, we're probably gonna be seeing N's dangerous side in a moment or two.

And now the Worker Defense Force are dropping death flags. I gotta say, I genuinely do like the tongue-in-cheek nature of this; like, they are being incredibly obvious they are dropping death flags, but the show is making it so clear that these folks know about tropes, even subconsciously, that it makes this morbidly funny.

Uzi tries to close the door... too late.

Yeah... N prying open those massive doors using nothing but his bare hands (clawed though they may be), is super terrifying, and I am unashamed to admit it. I would be pissing myself if I was there in person.

Yup, still N. Even when he has to remind himself he's planning to kill everyone there, he's just such a sweetheart. WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE US SUCH A SWEET HEART YOU CRUEL WORLD!?

And this... this is the slaughter I was dreading was coming. Seeing just how brutally N is killing them all, I'm severely disturbed. Like, this is horrific even WITH the Drones, if they were people, animated or not...? Yeah, this would be a gore fest.

Hey, Khan got the pack of cards! ...How long does it take to get a fresh pack of playing cards?

N continues to be a sweetheart even while planning to murder someone he had a nice time with.

...There is no way Khan is going to shoot. The dude is screaming PTSD attacks. Also, I'm surprised N is taking so long in killing Uzi, enough time to do nothing as Khan slowly backs away and closes the doors and raises the alarm. Seriously, what is it about Uzi that is holding the Murder Drones back!?

V claiming to have been trying to get past the doors for months isn't really as vast a length of time as it sounds. V doesn't seem the type to really understand the idea of trying different tactics; odds are she just kept blasting at it in the hopes she'd eventually get through.

Hey look, N is starting to show doubts about their mission! I guess seeing a PTSD-driven coward of a father abandon his daughter to die would do that. Unfortunately, he's trying that on the literal fanatic who has made it clear that even if she's willing to be civil when he does a good job, she will KILL him if he proves himself too much of a liability. We can all guess where this is going.

Honestly, given how fanatic she is for the company, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if J believes her own speech about putting N down being for his own good... and the way she describes their mission being that the Workers are corrupted, as well as how Uzi seems strangely protected from immediate murdering... maybe there's more going on with this?

But yeah, J is being a total dick to N. Bad J. Uzi will make you sleep on the couch for this!

Okay, so Uzi's alive, and is now forced to work with N in order to save her outpost. Honestly, I can get it; even if N's nice, he's been knowingly and willingly complicit in the slaughter of her people... but she's at least willing to work with him. They give me very "Dumbass Big Bro/Smartass Little Sis" vibes.

Hey, it's Thad again! Honestly curious how he's alive, since neither of the Murder Drones on the attack seem the type to let someone survive a hit from them if they aren't in a position to instantly kill them at point blank range. It's odd. Maybe Thad's weird in whatever way Uzi is, but less? Or maybe Uzi's a vector for some kind of virus...?

Wow, N is standing up to himself! THAT'S A MIRACLE!!!

Wow, Uzi making N fight his crush? That's cold. Oooh, maybe it's the battle of future lovers!? /j (Yes, I know there's no chance in hell that Uzi gets with J, but my dream lives on in my heart!!)

Really surprised J just stood there while Uzi chucked a pen at her head hard enough to rupture one of her eye things. Seriously, what is it about Uzi that makes Murder Drones be dumb!?

Huh, even in the middle of a fight, J can't help but be a Corporate shill.

N, having an emotional conflict about having to battle your crush should wait until she's NOT blasting missiles at you.

Hey, N managed to beat V via gross-out tactics! It's less disgusting then normal! Helps that he's a robot, but still, using licking as a distraction to get free to assist an ally is valid.

Okay, so in addition to being a shill, J's also the type to plan her monologue's in advance. I approve! Oh, and she got stabbed by her own nanite tail stinger thing, and in a place she can't use her saliva to neutralize... and she uses business terms in place of cursing. I knew she was a shill, but MAN is she a shill!!!

Uzi claimed she would fire if J said one more buzzword... but given the grin on her face, she was gonna do it anyway... which I think J realized. And now J is nothing but arms and her lower torso... given that the Murder Drones can regenerate, they should probably get those parts in some kind of storage/isolation/prison thing or whatever.

Now, this would be the part where the rebel outcast, having saved their people from danger, is now accepted as a hero... but instead, seeing as Uzi is rightfully pissed off at Khan for leaving her for dead, she decides to leave and banish herself. Also, I think her head might be a bit scrambled if she thought that anyone would banish her; yeah, she lead the Murder Drones to them, but she also saved all their lives and (possibly) took one of the Murder Drones down for good. That's HUGE.

And now Uzi reveals her big plan; kill all humans in revenge, laughing maniacally, while some weird symbol appears in her eye. Huh... looks like that whole "we're here because the Workers are corrupted" bit might not have been full of baloney after all! And more Murder Drones are on their way... that's not good.

I gotta say, this was awesome. Not as funny as I'd hoped, but so far, I think it's balancing the tongue in cheek referential and meta humor with the ongoing actions well enough. Looking forward to more!!

#murder drones #serial designation n #serial designation v #uzi doorman #serial designation j #glitch studios #reaction #show review

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hannahssimblr · 10 months ago

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Chapter Two

It feels cliched, like something from a film about a character working in some business firm, but I’m getting coffee for everyone at Mezzotint, the print studio where I am doing my internship. The studio, located above a little craft shop, opens right out onto a quaint street in Stoneybatter.

It’s up and coming around here, that’s what they call it when they don’t want to admit to its gentrification, and the café that the staff frequents is one of those hipster places where there isn’t any room to sit. The exotic hanging plants in the window form a lush curtain where you can peer inside and see the moustachioed barista at work underneath a wall of interesting looking coffee paraphernalia.

This café is so close to the Luas line that you can hear the ding ding and swish of the tram as it passes every two minutes or so; Tallaght to The Point, Saggart to Connolly Station, over and over and over again. Each day is accompanied by the music of the city. It seeps in through the windows of this café and of our little studio across the road from it in a way that makes me feel like this little street in North Dublin, and I by extension, are woven inextricably into the fabric of the city.

Everyone likes to pretend that September is the autumn, and even though the leaves are a little bit rusty and the waters a little choppier, the temperature is still warm enough to walk around without a coat in the afternoons. This is something seasonless that can’t decide what it wants to be yet, caught between one moment and the next. A warm breeze licks across my arms as I cross over to Mezzotint with five complicated coffee orders and a paper bag of pastries, pausing to let a woman with flowers in the basket of her bicycle pass me by.

I pass through the shop first, where Petra is placing a new batch of little ceramic bud vases on a shelf, and I give her her mocha and pan au chocolat. “I like those.” I tell her, and she nods, subtly rearranging the vases and confesses that she’s already bought one. She spends way too much of the money she earns from working at this shop buying things in it, but I get it. I’d be buying stuff too if they were paying me. I head up the stairs to the studio above.

“Aw, thanks chicken.” Izzy, one of the printmakers, takes a coffee out of the holder marked with the letters FWAL on the top. I have learned it stands for Flat White, Almond Milk. It’s only half nine in the morning, and she’s already stuck into her work, the tips of her fingers blackened like burned matches from the ink. She doesn’t eat anything in the mornings because it makes her feel sick, but she’ll have her slightly softened croissant at eleven, I leave it in the bag for her.

I bring a vanilla soy latte and a maple pecan twist to Gabriel who peers up at me impishly over his small, round glasses. “You look very nice today.” He says, and I grin. “So do you, but you look nice every day.”

“Stop.” He grins coquettishly and lifts the lid off his coffee to sniff it. “This is soy, isn’t it?”

“Yeah of course.”

“Good.” He takes a cautionary sip. “Because I’ll know all about it in about fifteen minutes if it isn’t. You’ll all know about it too.”

“Yeah we definitely will too.” Izzy groans. “Remember that time they gave you whole cows milk?”

“I will never forget.” He says solemnly.

“Yeah, no, me neither.”

I go over to the back of the studio to give Simon his flat white with oat milk. He told me he was vegan within an hour of meeting me, and I told him I’d actually never met a real vegan before, so it was an honour. It was supposed to be funny but if he thought it was he didn’t show it.

He’s sitting hunched over an angled desk with a blade, digging grooves into a block of wood. This is what he does, this old style wood block printing, but it’s always got a contemporary twist to it. Like today, he’s working on a scene in a dark lake, ripples swell behind a woman with long black hair who’s naked, submerged up to her waist and looking up at the full moon.

“Do you like it?” He asks me as I leave his coffee on the table next to him.

“Yeah it’s really cool.”

He leans back to look, and quickly blows some of the loose curls of shaven wood out of the carved areas. “I like it as well, I think. It has something.”

“Who is it?”

“My girlfriend. It’s always my girlfriend. She’s my muse.”

He’s a very particular type of artsy-intense like that, like he doesn’t think it’s weird to call someone your ‘muse’ in a non-ironic way. “Oh right.” I say. I start turning away to head towards a pile of paper and tools in Gabriel’s corner of the studio, the same ones I’ve been trying to organise all week, but he calls me back over to him. “Yeah, Simon?”

“I’m thinking we should get a start on Christmas cards for the shop.”

“But it’s September.”

“Yes but it takes ages to get everything sorted and printed. It’s best we start designing in the autumn.”

“Oh, alright.”

“So…” He sits up and twirls the blade around his fingers in way that makes me nervous for his precious hands. He doesn’t look at me that much, including now. He’s still examining his work. “You’re doing a degree in illustration.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Could you draw up some designs? I don’t have time.”

I start to get flustered. “Oh, well, I wouldn’t really know what kinds of things to do.”

“Well, we don’t usually go for traditional type things in the shop, so if you can think of something that’s Christmassy but also, like, bright and modern and fun, that’d be unreal.”

“Mhm.”

“Do you have a portfolio?”

“Not really, just sketchbooks.”

“You’ve not done any kind of client work or anything?”

“Only a shop window.” I clear my throat awkwardly, unsure if I even want to admit to the work I did in Tullamore. “I did some window typography for a cafe during the summer.”

“You like typography?”

“Yeah it’s cool.” I shrug. “But I’d say I’m not very good at it.”

Simon’s mouth twitches up into as much of a smile as he appears to be capable of. “Why don’t you give something a lash for me, just see if you can come up with some fun Christmas card ideas that might incorporate interesting lettering. I don’t know.” He hunches back over his work so I know we’re finished discussing this. “Anything you want, Evie. I’m giving you full creative control, as long as it has a vibe.”

Full creative control is as terrifying as a blank page. I give him an almost inaudible “Okay” and go over to an empty table with a stack of paper to start trying to figure something out. What does that mean, anyway? A ‘vibe’? I sigh and start scribbling something down.

I work through the morning and halfway into lunch, only realising it is when I surface from the haze of my creative flow to find everybody else gone. I fish around in my bag for the sad sandwich I prepared that morning and then get right back to work. I like it. I have no idea what I’m doing but I like doing it anyway. Sometimes when I get like this I wish that I didn’t have to eat or sleep or use the bathroom, like, I wish my body was a machine that could keep on drawing infinitely, churning out more and more work without the interruptions of my body’s needs.

Eventually the others come back and the sounds of press cranking and plate carving resume, and I am engrossed in what I’m doing. Gabriel passes behind me at some point and gives a little ‘hm’ of approval. “I like your lettering.” He says. “Thanks.” I say.

I only realise the whole day has passed me by when a soft voice from the corner of the room pipes up. “Pub?” Simon cranes his neck like a submarine periscope and glances around the room at us. Without looking up, Gabriel says “Pub.”

“Pub.” Izzy agrees.

I glance at the clock. It’s five already, and I feel like I’ve only just got into the swing of my card design. It kind of pains me that I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get stuck back into it again. I haven’t even started thinking about colours yet.

Izzy tosses a balled up piece of scrap paper onto my table. “Hey, Evie.” She says. “Tools down. Pub?”

“Oh.” I say. “I don’t know.”

“Come on. We’re just heading across into Smithfield for a pint or two. Look outside. The sun is absolutely belting down.”

“We won’t get many more evenings like this.” Simon adds. “It’d be a waste not to come.”

“I suppose I’m not doing anything anyway.” I’m never doing anything, ever. “I can come for a while.”

“Unreal.” Izzy says, and I reluctantly relinquish my coloured pencils and then within five minutes the studio is closed down and the lights are off.

“I’ll join you in a while.” Petra says as we lock up the studio door. “I’ll just do the cash register and then pop down.” We tell her that we’ll see her there and head out onto the street.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3

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nighttime-tea-party · 7 months ago

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since you say youve been in the kuro fandom even before BoC aired, could you tell me about how it was back then? :D ive always been interested in learning how internet culture used to be, how things eventually changed, how they improved/declined etc, more so when the current community is pretty much dead. was there an experience that marked you, what do you remember most fondly? was there an event that excited the fandom more than any other (like the release of a chapter or smth)? which blogs were the most popular? Its okay if you dont want to tho, i understand!

Super interesting question! I hope I can provide some equally interesting information in return.

Before the fandom had reached Tumblr, much of it centred around a forum, or at least much of what I knew. It wasn't originally a Kuroshitsuji forum but a sub-forum of a Bleach forum, actually. I think it was called Bleach Asylum? And I don't know exactly how it came to be but I think that Bleach forum had lots of sub forums for then-popular anime and manga but Kuroshitsuji gained so much popularity and the fandom happened to gather there, so that sub forum really took off and it ended up being an anchor point for the fandom. I used to always look for the most recent scanlations there, back before we were able to buy them legally.

I didn't actively participate in that forum but I lurked occasionally. It was full of wild discussions, one of which was the "two Ciel(s) theory"/"2CT" as it was called back then. It had a strong following on the website back then already. I sadly don't remember any of the other theories that were making rounds back then...

I didn't really participate in much fandom stuff back then, limited my art posts to deviantArt and my personal facebook... but eventually, I made a tumblr specifically to interact with the fandom.

As for blogs, I don't really like doing any name dropping, especially because it would go into some people who used to ship sebaciel and turned anti, and other stuff I'd rather not talk about. I do feel like back in the day, there were a couple of gigantic Kuroshitsuji blogs with massive followings that got a LOT of asks every day (to the point where it seemed like a full time job to keep up with them). Discussion around sebaciel was very different, there have always been people who disliked it but unfounded rumours like "did you know that Kuroshitsuji was supposed to be a yaoi" made rounds without people questioning it. That always annoyed me a little tbh haha.

There was one fan artist on deviantArt whose name I sadly don't remember but I think they were THE kuro artist in Western fandom back then because their style looked very similar to the anime style. I still see their art sometimes.

And fun fact on the side, I grew up in German fandom spaces and we had a big website called Animexx (I think it's still around) that was dedicated specifically to all things manga, anime, and related stuff. They had really convenient ways of browsing on-site fanart, fanfic, doujinshi, cosplay, and other fan creations, as well as forums and ways to host your own fan events. Until the early 2010s, I hung out there a lot so until then, my perspective is distorted by that German lens. I used to post my early Kuroshitsuji fanart there too.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! I feel like I could go on tangents for much longer but idk how interesting that would be.

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theboarsbride · 2 years ago

Text

A Court of Thorns and Roses (Rant) Review.

Rating: 2⭐⭐/5 stars

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Length: 420 pages

Review: Soooo……..needless to say I really did not enjoy this book (nor did I ever really anticipate such because this was a hate-read and I cannot stand SJM as both an author and a person lmao). This is going to be a long rant review, and I know a lot of what I'll bring up has been brought up previously in other reviews, but I will still try to provide new insight nonetheless! This review will come in segments, and can be accessed beneath the cut.

ALSO!! There will be spoilers throughout this review. Don't read any further if you don't wish to be spoiled!

AND ALSO! This is merely my opinion. If you enjoy this series, AWESOME! I'm glad for you, this just isn't for me, and I, in good faith, cannot give this book a good review.

⚠️AND NOW CONTENT WARNINGS⚠️ There will be mentions of sexual assault and overall abusive and possessive behavior. I will mark parts of the review that mention these themes with an asterisks (*) so that you may avoid that content if you're not up for reading about it.

NOW ONTO THE REVIEW!!

1. What I liked - While this was still a hate-read I don't want to be a total downer and I wanted to find something about SJM's writing that I enjoyed. Granted there wasn't a lot, but they were still there!

- To start, I feel like SJM can write really interesting and tense action scenes. The opening scene with the killing of the wolf, the naga chase scene (which, like… why are we getting naga in this very clearly English/Celtic folklore-inspired world, and to never have similar creatures featured again?), the trials Under the Mountain, etc. Just, overall, the third act taking place Under the Mountain was so fun!! Like, it wasn't great and still riddled with SJM's writing and other uhhhh questionable stuff (we'll get there), but overall I enjoyed it so much more than the previous two-thirds of the book!

- There were also some romantic moments that I thought were really sweet, and I wish we saw more of that! I wish we saw more of Feyre and Tamlin’s relationship blossom more!

Now onto stuff I didn't like…..(there's a lot)

1. The Writing and Characters - I can't stand SJM's writing style. The obvious annoyance is her overuse of em dashes, and also ellipses. Both of these were so incredibly unnecessary in her work, and only distracted me, and slowed my reading.

- And also she reuses the same sentence structure, and it annoyed me once I noticed it (ex.- i was going to the bathroom, which was white and clean and shining. Then, I went to school, a place that was dull and bland and boring.)

- Like jfc. I wholeheartedly believe the conspiracy that no one actually edits SJM's book because good LORD.

- I refuse to believe that SJM knows, or would even care to know, how to write believable poor people. I refuse to believe that Feyre’s family has been destitute for nearly a decade - because they sure as hell don’t come across like it. Feyre’s sisters, Elaine and Nesta, act so dainty and bitchy about work and survival despite living this way for ALMOST 10 YEARS. Their mentalities, how they react to being poor, how they treat their belongings, how they treat and handle their food, how they handle their money, etc. doesn’t line up for me. I just don’t buy it.

- Also in relation to this point: Feyre is weirdly quick to let Tamlin’s servants wait on her hand and foot. Her psychology, how she thinks, and engages with Tamlin’s manor around her doesn’t fit with someone who’s spent eight years living in violent poverty and starving.

- A bit of a nitpick but, it bothers me that SJM writes Feyre as a painter yet I, for the life of me, couldn't tell you what her style is, how her artwork looks, or even what ANY piece of art looks like in this world. Feyre talks about her artistic eye and all that, but to me that description means nothing. Being a painter and liking art does nothing for Feyre's character, it's such a useless detail when it could be something that adds depth to her character and shows the reader how she views art, how she views the world, etc. This just shows me that SJM did nothing to research art, styles, and mediums, nor does she actually care about her character writing enough to utilize art as a way to elevate Feyre as a character.

- The pacing is so boring. It’s just painfully slow and stuff that could be exciting is skimmed over and never elaborated on, and all that really happens for the first two-thirds of the book is just Feyre vibing (and being passive aggressive towards) Tamlin and Lucien.

2. This is a fairytale retelling? - This book has EVERYTHING I absolutely loathe about modern day fairytale retellings - more specifically retellings of Beauty and the Beast.

- It fails as a retelling, in general, because it completely misses the point of the fairytaleS (there are multiple going on in ACOTAR) and ends up being a shallow husk of these classic tales.

- ACOTAR markets itself as a retelling of several fairytales: Beauty and the Beast, East of the Sun, West of the Moon (a Norwegian variant of BatB featuring a 'beast' that is a polar bear by day and a handsome prince by night), Eros & Psyche (a Greek myth that's widely accepted as one of the original versions of the 'monster bride-groom' narrative framework), and the Ballad of Tam-Lin (a Scottish folktale that features a man cursed by a queen of faeries). And yet I feel like it fails all of these stories, primarily Beauty and the Beast. BatB is a story about kindness and love, and loving someone for who they are as opposed to what they look like, and ACOTAR embodies the very thing I hate about modern retellings of this story: a ‘beast’ that is outwardly handsome and the only ‘beastly’ thing about him is being hypermasculine, aggressive, toxic, and cruel while offering little opportunities of redemption. Except, Tamlin isn’t necessarily all of those things. Conventionally hot and hypermasculine, yes, but he’s been nothing but gracious and nice to Feyre. And WHY is he named ‘Tamlin’, obviously being named after the titular Tam-Lin from Scottish folklore, and SJM does nothing to give this story a ‘Scottish flair’? Which brings me to my next point:

3. Worldbuilding - There is nothing about this world that convinces me that this is unique. It does nothing to differentiate itself from other fantasy worlds, or even our modern world! You can tell that there are medieval and Rococo/Georgian Europe influences, but that’s only in fashion and aesthetics. But the faeries?

- To me, they’re nothing more than conventionally attractive people with pointy ears and MAYBE magic. Tolkien elves, pretty much! Like, deadass, I pictured Tamlin looking like Legolas but jacked as fuck (AND WHY COULDN’T WE GET MORE OF TAMLIN’S BEAST FORM!?!?!?!? UUGHH!!!! BIG SAD!!). There were so few, like… FAERIE faeries, and whenever there were any the only indicators SJM would offer are differing skin tones, sharp teeth, claws, wings, etc. They just felt so uninspired and lazy (teetering between underdeveloped spectral entities or LOTR elves) … why write about faeries if you’re not going to put in the effort to flesh them out as FAERIES? I once saw someone say that what SJM is doing to faeries is what Stephanie Meyer did to vampires and honestly??? I agree.

- I will forever be bitter that SJM decided to write about faeries and did NOTHING new with fae lore.

- *I know this gets explained a little more in the second book (which… I will get to that when I write my ACOMAF review because i’ve thoughts) but what exactly is this world’s religious system? Because you never get a good feel for it. I say this because several times Lucien mentions ‘Hell’, as in capital ‘h’ Hell - Christian Hell. Why would he say this when humans are agnostic/athiest with a sparse numbr of fae-worshiping cults (and were once implied to have had a polytheistic religion that differs from our world’s Christianity) and fae worship the Cauldron and other faerie deities so like.....why would SJM not use a few extra braincells to create her own version of Hell rather than using lazy cultural shorthand that, by the logic of this book's world, doesn't work???? And this is a recurring theme in ACOTAR: lazy, underdeveloped, under explained world-building.

- *This might just be me but I hate the fated mates trope in this series. It just seems like a way to sexualize domestic abuse, and it doesn’t allow me to enjoy seeing a budding relationship to develop if we’re told that these two characters are SUPPOSED to be together and are MEANT to be in love and have sex!! (also a me thing: the way SJM sexualizes stuff is a personal ick… her ships are built more upon sex and sexual attraction rather than romantic feelings, which just isn’t for me and makes me struggle to believe people to actually be in love despite how much the author tries to convince me of such). Also the violent gender essentialism and heteronormativity :( ….it only gets worse in the second book.

- Why must we refer to everyone as male and female??? I would give this a pass if the faeries were more faerie and less human but… these fae are just humans with pointy ears, so I am deeply uncomfortable by the constant use of ‘male’ and ‘female.’ (I’m convinced that SJM is into omegaverse erotica, and I’d honestly have more respect for her if she just wrote straight-up, shameless omegaverse erotica rather than trying to write a vaguely developed fantasy story that fails to deliver on the epic plot it’s trying to sell to me.)

4. Feyre - She is a dumb protagonist (and I blame the author). She is dumb and deserves death - and you can tell that this is a plot-convenience brand of stupidity, unfortunately. Like the instance with the Puca. She suddenly sees her crippled father on Tamlin's land in Prythian in the middle of the night??? Given the wary hostility and aggression and distrust she's been displaying towards everyone and everything so far in Prythian, why isn't she doing the same in this instance???? She's said herself she is wary of faerie tricks, and acknowledged that not even whole, able-bodied humans are able to survive in Prythian without the help of a faerie, so why would she think her disabled father, who is helpless in the mortal realm, be any different??? And why would she care that her father has come for her??? Did she not wish that her family starves without her, so that they realize she's important to them and she holds them in such an embittered contempt?????

- Tamlin and Feyre have no chemistry. It just feels like I should be shipping them because this is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast and all that, but I just don't. SJM is relying heavily on a fairytale framework while also doing nothing to even try to convince me that these two characters are meant to be together. Their relationship is so dry and it feels like the attraction comes from nowhere, and only starting with physical attraction - which, to me, goes against the message of BATB, of loving someone for who they are rather than what they look like. The two of them, respectively, have more chemistry with Lucien than each other. Hell, why not make them a throuple???🤨 now THAT I'd ship because all three have banter, and any interaction with Lucien is so much fun to read.

- Also……how the fuck did Feyre not figure out Amarantha’s riddle?

5. *Rhysand - Yes. He gets his own section because I HATE him - and I HATE that he is destined to be the endgame love interest. He is a character we’re meant to root redemption for but I fucking refuse. And this is why.

- Rhysand has the perfect set up to be a scary asf villain, not a love interest. We will talk more about Rhysand and why he and Feyre are a ship I refuse to get behind, but that will be reserved for future updates.

- For now: Rhys is great for a scary villain! He is night incarnate, he has snark, he has an imposing presence, and he can invade the minds of others......and he invades Feyre's mind, which she described as being immensely uncomfortable and painful, and she is afraid. Mind you, he does this without her consent. Keep in mind that everything he does beyond this point is without her consent and he is doing it as himself and for his own gain, not the influence of love pollen or magic. He is doing it while totally aware and sober. That's why he is a horrible person and a creep.

- He does many things without Feyre’s consent. He tortures, assaults, drugs, and harms her all without consent without anything else compelling his will other than himself.

- He forces her into a deal in which she is to spend one week a month in the Night Court with him, and he does this by twisting and pulling her broken arm when she refuses. He drugs and assaults her by making her drink faerie wine (which she refuses to drink as she was warned against doing so), dresses her scantily clad AGAINST HER WILL, covers her in paint so he knows where people all touch her AGAINST HER WILL, and makes her perform lap dances until she gets sick and then makes her all do it again AGAINST HER WILL. After catching her and Tamlin stealing a moment, he pushes her against a wall and kisses her WITH TONGUE to make it seem like he was the one that muddied the paint on her body rather than Tamlin. All of this he’s done AGAINST HER WILL.

- Have I mentioned how he does this against her will yet??? Did I emphasize enough that Rhysand does all this to Feyre without her consent???

- Rhysand is an evil creep that I refuse to redeem. What he did for Feyre Under the Mountain is awful and not at all deserving of redemption. And I don’t care if he says ‘I did this to help defeat Amarantha and save my court’ or ‘I did it to make Tamlin more mad and to kill Amrantha instantly’ or ‘I did it for your own good.’ I don’t fucking care, those are the excuses of an abuser. He didn’t need to literally torture and assault her.

- Also, on that note: why does he do this for the sake of making Tamlin more mad? Like??? Tamlin saw his court be cursed, he was sexually harassed by Amarantha ever since he was a child, and he witnessed Amarantha torture a woman he loves. Why would he need anything more to make him kill Amarantha faster? This argument fails to work for me. Fuck you, Rhysand, I hate you.

6. *Calanmai - This gets its own section because it’s just… so messy, and I wish to blame SJM for it’s messiness because the characters are all victims to her insensitive, careless writing.

- This is a very weird scenario??? Because, let's be frank, Tamlin assaulted Feyre and Feyre is a victim... HOWEVER. on multiple occasions she is told by FAERIES THAT HAVE EONS OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS WORLD, THEIR CULTURES, CUSTOMS, AND ACCOMPONYING DANGERS to stay in her room and that this is not safe for humans, especially her once the Great Rite occurs because Tamlin will be drawn to her. But she goes against these warnings, going to the festival and leaving her room before dawn.

- HOW DUMB ARE YOU FEYRE??!?!?!?!?! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID???!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?! JUST UUGGHHH!!!!!!!!

- And then there's Tamlin. With how the Great Rite is explained, it's like he is possessed by some springtime magic so that he is a vehicle for said magic? So the scene where he pins Feyre and bites her is almost set up like he both is and isn't possessed? It's more like he's drunk off of love pollen?? I don't know, but to me I think that both are and are not at fault - they are because Feyre didn't listen to SEVERAL warnings in a situation that is obviously unsafe for her and Tamlin could've prepared better by explaining things to her and setting up safeguards, and they aren't because Feyre is a victim and Tamlin is being possessed by a power that's greater him (which is kind of implied to be something he really doesn't want to do). Again, this is a very weird and highly uncomfortable situation - both are victims to SJM’s writing.

- Ultimately, the situation of Calanmai is poorly written and handled on SJM's behalf. It feels like her trying to eroticize a moment of assault, which in of itself is gross (bear in mind that this was initially published as a YA novel - and I initially read it as a YA novel in middle school), and to introduce Rhysand, the second half of this love triangle, which there are so many other ways this could've been done. And the fact that the assault is brushed off and treated like a friendly joke without having actual discussion about it makes it worse. - This is arguably the most 'fae' thing in this book so far? Like it feels so fae because of connections to celebrating springtime and fertility, and drinking and festivals, but at the same time this just feels like an oversexualization of traditional pagan beliefs by being a massive orgy?

- Just. Ew. Sarah J Mass, you’re gross for writing a moment like this and not being responsible enough to execute this concept with more nuance.

7. The Ending - This is really brief, but boooooo to Feyre being resurrected with all the powers of all the High Lords. :(

- (Also I know that Rhysand hints at him and Feyre being mates and uugghhh kill me now)

So these are my main thoughts regarding ACOTAR… It’s a fantasy romance that should be advertised more for it’s romance than fantasy elements as the fantasy-action takes a major backseat and acts more as a subplot to the main romance. It’s a fantasy world that is underdeveloped and is full to the brim of underutilized lore. It butchers existing faerie lore, and leaves much to be desired. Characters are unlikeable and stupid, and the only thing that got me through this book was Lucien.

SJM I do not like you, and I cannot wait to return to write about my hate for ACOMAF.

#jojo reads #anti acotar #anti sjm #anti sarah j maas #anti rhysand #anti feysand #rant review #book review #rant book review #acotar #anti a court of thorns and roses #readers of tumblr

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felassan · 2 years ago

Text

Some more snippets of interest and insight from Mark Darrah, from some older Mark Darrah on Games YouTube videos where he was livestreaming playing Dragon Age: Origins some months ago. (Multiple videos are covered in this post, so the source video of each bullet point is included there) -

"I'm pretty sure that the [in-world] Dragon Age will be an age that lasts a suspiciously long time, as long as there are Dragon Ages being made. I don't think they will drop 'Dragon Age' because it's such an identifiable part of the franchise". [source]

"I totally cannot spoil what the original Black City was supposed to be. I'm pretty sure that the approach to lore in DA has always been to leave it ambiguous to allow the future to go where it needs to go. Though that being said, DA:O was definitely built with the assumption that it was not getting a sequel." [source]

"The Calling is presented as taking decades to kill you on its own. So Alistair would still be alive in DA:I and DA:D if he went that way. I think, if I remember the lore correctly." [source]

"DA:O introduces a lot of hanging plot threads that aren't necessarily resolved. Orzammar potentially sets up a civil war, there's potentially werewolves running around. There's a lot of stuff we've been able to kind've ignore, but there's a lot of stuff that's still out there. The line of succession for Ferelden is open isn't it." [source]

[on the Warden's quest for a cure for the Calling] "I don't think it's established that the cure is actually found is it. Or just that they're looking." [source]

"Likely any cure for the Calling would be to extract the Taint from the person, so you would basically cease being a Grey Warden at that point." [source]

"I think they're treating the Trespasser epilogue slides as canon." [source]

[during DA:O epilogue slides] "You can see, this leaves a lot of threads in a lot of potential different directions that Dragon Age has been dealing with since then, since 2009." [source]

"The resistance that there was for toolset for Frostbite was a feeling like, 'this engine is proprietary, it does a bunch of stuff that we don't want other people to be able to steal'. That's basically not even true anymore. There's actually a feeling now within EA that user-generated content, UGC, is incredibly good, that it's basically free marketing. Like you say, Skyrim has been going forever. So that's why, EA has a really complicated relationship with UGC. What they want is basically, everyone to make TikTok videos and things about how great the game is. They don't necessarily want you to make DLC or Twitch stream the thing but they also recognize that this is not a, you don't get to have one without the other really. Yeah, the 'cost of free ads from fans is fan DLC'. That's pretty much, sums it up perfectly." [source]

"CD Projekt uses slightly different language than BioWare did for DLCs, expansion packs etc. I would not classify the free DLCs from The Witcher as expansion packs, they're DLC. They called them expansion packs but from my perspective, an expansion pack is larger than that but it's a spectrum for sure. The thing I would say about CD Projekt in general is they're amazingly good at picking the right language. So what they did on Witcher 3 is they said, they added a tiny bit of content to each of their patches and said 'this is DLC, we're going to give it away for free, aren't we amazing?' And then they made their DLC a little bit bigger and then said 'these are expansion packs, we're gonna charge for that', brilliant. Honestly brilliant. Because it makes them, it's a great PR move, it also meant that they got a, every time they released a patch they essentially got an article on the gaming sites. It's something that BioWare and frankly DA in particular is pretty bad at, like, naming things, and using language that makes things sound better." [source]

[on The Sims] "'Buy a thing and then later they release more stuff to add to your thing', it's an amazing business model. It's also a business model that EA does not understand, they, like BioWare, suffer from being a thing that exists within the sports-focused EA ecosystem that, constantly trying to explain that 'our players are not the same as your players, you need to let us do what we know how to do'." [source]

"We had a free-to-play version for DA multiplayer, that was Hendrix. It's not on the, EA didn't want it to exist so it was only on the servers for a little while, a couple of months, but it was actually there. I'm sure it's not up anymore." [source]

"I don't know if Frostbite is gonna die. I think there's a very good chance that what's going to happen is, it may become the next sports engine. FIFA is a monolith and has taken over the driver's seat for that engine. I don't think they're gonna be very interested in switching again. Even if active Frostbite development in general goes away, FIFA will keep going and then a bunch of other games live in the rain shadow of FIFA, like NHL." [source]

"If it was up to me, I'd probably have forced Mass Effect onto Frostbite. And I would be strongly inclined to keep Dragon Age on Frostbite for at least one more game because you've built the foundation. The best engine to use is the one you just used. But I don't know what's gonna happen after DA:D to be honest. BioWare seems to be addicted to throwing away work they've done in the past. And it was never up to me." [source]

"Frostbite isn't a recruitment negative but certainly it's a lot easier to find people that already know how to use Unreal. What you actually see in programming is some people, it's not a universal, but some programmers, they don't wanna work in Unreal because they feel like someone else gets to do all the cool programming bits." [source]

"The question for Awakening is should it have even been an expansion pack, or is a different solution to have made it, say, 40% bigger and made it a full-sized game. This is, I think, the reason why expansion packs are so rare these days is because, it's easy to imagine a path from an expansion pack to a $60 or $70 game and then you're getting somewhere between 80-120% attach as opposed to 30% attach. I suspect this is the primary reason why expansion packs have kind've faded away, because 'I'm gonna ship every year' is fairly accepted within games these days. So honestly the pitch for Joplin's live service was 'we're not gonna do a live service, we're gonna do a game, and then we're gonna do another game in 18 months and another 18 months after that. And maybe we'll do one piece of DLC in there, but we'll just be like dunk-dunk-dunk' and the economics for that are great. So that's why expansion packs are gone I think." [source]

"That's the fundamental problem of DA:O not knowing it's gonna have sequels, it leaves the world in a very quantum state. There's still stuff that's hinted at in those [epilogue slides] that are happening sometime in the future that I think are gonna probably at this point be ignored. Probably the biggest issue of DA:O is that it leaves the world in a state that probably wasn't intending that there would be a sequel." [source]

"When we were discussing doing a remaster for the trilogy, my pitch was to essentially retcon it [DA:O, DAII and DA:I] into a trilogy, to make it the 'Champion's Trilogy' or something to that effect, where you group the three games together, imply that they were always intended to be a trilogy kind of, and then that does a couple of things. It packages them into something that stands on its own a bit better, but also lets you potentially change what you're doing with the player character going forward. If you've decided that, okay, we've changed player character every single game up until now, but maybe we're not going to do that going forward, by packaging them together in a remaster you kind've give yourself permission to do that. Certainly DA:D is gonna have a new player character, given that the one from DA:I is missing a limb." [source]

"We probably oversold the Wardens in the marketing for DA:O. Because essentially, what we did was establish them as the coolest thing in the world and then yeah, so the series has definitely been dealing with the aftermath oh 'but not Wardens? Therefore not cool' forever since then." [source]

"But a new player character means you have a harder job every single game, because you have to get people interested, you don't get the shortcut of 'Shepard is Shepard, you know Shepard'." [source]

"Anders is the one that made us rethink how we introduce romances, because a lot of people ended up in romance with him that didn't mean to. We'll see if they come back to that in DA:D, but I think that because of Anders in DAII, DA:I was definitely trying to not 'accidentally do anything to you'. But it does mean that it is very player-controlled and very player-initiated. But maybe they'll be willing to go back to that a little bit." [source]

"Tevinter Nights does a really good job of staying away from violating canon. The thing with, the further you go away from what's in the games the more you are, the less well it's gonna do, so that's not necessarily a problem but it is something to keep in mind that you don't, you're trying to make money with your novels. Setting it in a time period that people don't know is great for the core fans but isn't necessarily gonna do super amazing. The advantage that Tevinter Nights is, because it's an anthology, you're able to just, everything kinda just stands on its own and therefore you're able to just stay away from the major characters to a large degree." [source]

"Varric's definitely not quantum, he's in good shape. Dorian, I feel like Dorian is guaranteed to be around [as in quantum], but maybe not, maybe I'm wrong about that. But the games have gotten better or at least more conscious of what they do with companions as it's gone on, in terms of trying to, being at least aware of the fact that you might want these people to come back, so maybe at least understand the quantum you're putting them in. There's a bunch of followers in DA:I that you might just not recruit. Like Blackwall's pretty easy to miss. Dorian can show up but he doesn't die if you don't recruit him, he's alive. The biggest thing for quantum is 'are they alive', in which, in DA:O there's a lot that don't make it. Then you have to deal with, well they might be [killed/not recruited?] or something but the biggest thing is, if they're alive you can probably make it work." [source]

"I have a feeling that Desire Demons are going to be just, ignored, or, honestly I mean one way to, I think, Desire is seen in a very narrow light in DA:O. I think if you go, if you move into Desire being a much broader concept, you have a lot of options there. I think if you approach Desire in a broader sense I think you have some opportunities. But then you kind've end up with the DA:I problem with the Fear." [source]

He also talked more generally about DA:O and the franchise and things in general. These bits are collected under a cut due to length -

"Orzammar is definitely the place in DA:O that actually looks like Dragon Age. Everything else is kind've generic late 2000s fantasy, pretty much the same as The Witcher. For example, Ostagar has a more generic fantasy visual" [source]

"You know, other than DAII, DA does involve a lot of crossing the entire country to turn around and go back doesn't it" [source]

Chat asked "How well does the vanilla game DA:O play on modern hardware?" Mark replied, "I'm playing it on modern hardware, I don't have everything cranked way up and currently I'm running it in a window. It's running really well. The only thing that happens is if you turn the graphic settings up too far it will blow up because it will run out of memory. It's a 32-bit game and so if you cross 4 gig it will explode. But there are some mods out there that get you around that. That's the only problem with it is that, if you turn it up too far it will become unstable. I'm worried about stability problems during the [Battle of Denerim] part of the game" [source]

"I always found Redcliffe Village in DA:O a bit confusing to move around" [source]

Chat observed that the soil in Redcliffe would be be bad because of all the darkspawn and undead that were there. Some users theorized that the people there moved to a different part of the nearby land to make 'Redcliffe' again. Mark commented, "One of the reasons we felt okay pretty much redesigning Redcliffe in DA:I, because it's kind've broken. You know, we don't show it completely destroyed here but certainly it's hard its struggles" [source]

"I don't know who came up with the ogre-sync kill. Sync kills are really cool for bosses, they become a lot less cool for things when they're constantly happening but they're usually, unfortunately sync kills are often something that end up being de-prioritized as a feature, because they don't actually have a gameplay effect so they're kind've just aesthetics. So they often actually get cut for time reasons" [source]

Mark mentioned that he "certainly [has] some degree of lingering crunch trauma" [source]

[during the Battle of Denerim, when many creatures are on-screen] "DA:O does a good job of selling large groups for a game of its time. We must be doing a trick, something to get all this, because this is way over the creature count limit for DA:O. It's possible that we made special creatures that are way cheaper. Or it's a mixture. Waves is part of it. They aren't dropping any loot so there's definitely something going on" [source]

"Shouldn't there be people in the Wardens who have a bit more training in dragon killing?" [source]

"We probably should have auto-levelled unlevelled party members before the Battle of Denerim" [source]

[on the elves in the alienage during the Battle of Denerim] "Where'd they get the bows? Pretty sure it's frowned upon for elves to have weapons in alienages" [source]

"People do play DA solo which makes it difficult to have any sort of puzzle or anything that requires a group" [source]

[on Sandal] "I told the team if you put him in DA:I you gotta put him in everything because he basically then becomes a central figure of the franchise. So they gave him a rest. So you can blame me for him not being in DA:I" [source]

Chat asked "I'm curious why BioWare never brought back the army spawning mechanic from DA:O to DA:I, I always thought it was epic and underrated". Mark said "We talked about it in DA:I, it was actually a UI thing, we didn't have time to do the UI properly. I mean there's a lot of reasons why you don't get to play with your Inquisition well in DA:I, like to play with the organization, which is actually too bad" [source]

[while fighting baby dragons during the Battle of Denerim] Chat asked "Why are the baby dragons there in the first place?" Mark said "Someone wanted another addition to the combat. But it doesn't really make a lot of lore sense" [source]

[on lock bash] "I like what we tried to do in DA:I, giving you different things for different classes. Didn't really get used effectively. But it does strike me as weird, it didn't at the time, but playing through this, is like, you go into a space, all the chests are locked, you kill everyone, no-one has a key. Like, whose got the key to that chest?" [source]

"DA:O really does do some impressive army stuff given the chunkiness of its engine" [source]

[at end of DA:O] "Probably should have shown Morrigan leaving" [source]

"Alistair would be a fine/adequate king. He just needs a policy wonk to give him ideas" [source]

[during DA:O epilogue slides] "These are the ones that set up the quantum for the rest of the game" [source]

[during DA:O epilogue slides] "It's interesting that we called Dagna a mage" [source]

"I think DA:O still holds together. I mean it wasn't a very attractive game in 2009 and certainly it doesn't look better now than it did then, but I think it holds together. Some of the storytelling choices are problematic from a now perspective, almost everything in the Pearl, and then the whole broodmother bit could be, I mean it's a bit too far, it was probably a bit too far even at the time honestly. The combat holds up pretty well, because it's not 'push a button and immediately do an action' it has aged pretty well. The animations are kinda clunky and things don't line up very great but that's not that bothersome. It would be much more noticeable that it was a problem if things were a bit more direct" [source]

"DA:O has WASD in large part because Oblivion had WASD controls. I remember the transition and being kind've confused as to why you would do that, but yeah it's the right call. In the time that this was in development it became pretty universal" [source]

"How involved was I in Anthem? I was in charge of Anthem for the past 16 months. So a damaging amount" [source]

"Will I do an Anthem stream? I will probably do at least 1 Anthem stream. I might play through the story, I'm not gonna play multiplayer. I might play through the story and play it in pure dark pattern, forcing it to let me play it by myself, but we'll see" [note this video is several months old] [source]

[on Awakening] "Other than Destiny, this is pretty much one of the last expansion packs there ever really was with a retail presence. It's honestly a way better business than DLC. DLC you're attaching, maybe 10% of your people are gonna buy it, whereas expansion packs, 30%. You can spend a lot more money and make a lot more money with an expansion pack" [source]

"I think the idea for DA multiplayer getting harder when somebody died was to try to make the match start to end so that you weren't waiting. I don't know how effective that is, probably not very, but I think that's the thinking" [source]

"I don't think we really were, pretty much I think DA became a series when BioWare got bought by EA. I don't remember the exact moment but you can see by the slides at the end of DA:O there's a bunch of stuff that isn't really completely thinking about the fact that we're gonna have to pick up this ball in future" [source]

"Frostbite shares a lot with Unreal as well from a tools perspective. It wasn't done quite as intentionally. It's funny because the tools for Eclipse for DA:O, there was a specifically-designed wall between the two project streams to prevent this engine from taking too much from Unreal. There was a worry that Epic was going to get mad at us and sue us. Which given everybody elses' engine development was probably unfounded" [source]

"I imagine that a Blight probably increases Warden recruitment. I think it makes sense that people would be interested [right after a Blight was stopped] because you're the heroes on the block, but given what the Wardens know about Blights and things you would think that the responsible thing would be to actually cut recruitment way down, keep the order alive and then as they sense a Blight starting to come, ramp the recruitment way back up again. But I don't know that they know that a Blight is coming early enough to do so, so I guess the worry would be that if they don't keep their order relatively large then they wouldn't have the forces necessary to fight a Blight. Though of course you wouldn't expect another Blight right now, we just finished with one [Mark was playing Awakening's opening sequence at this time]. I think it's, there's darkspawn to fight and despite what they may claim, it's about being big enough to have a political impact on the world so that everyone doesn't ignore their existence and then they show up and no-one remembers who they are. Duncan talks about knowing it was coming but everyone not believing him so it does imply that they know at least some time beforehand. But you probably don't wanna wait til 1 year before it starts happening before you start rebuilding your forces" [source]

"The reason why Awakening was able to ship so close to DA:O was because DA:O moved a huge amount really late in development to do the consoles. So Awakening was pretty much mostly built in 2009, you know in the last 9 months of DA:O development, which was mostly porting it to the consoles. There's no way you were getting an expansion pack out within five months of that size without [this]" [source]

"Awakening is a masterclass in 'people who are familiar with the fools using the tools at their disposal to do some amazing stuff" [source]

"One of the challenges with expansion packs is they kind've have to fit inside the umbrella, even if they're taking place afterwards like this one does [Awakening], they can't raise the stakes too much. Whereas if it was a full-fledged sequel it could kind've do something new, kind've has to. Which is part of the problem with Awakening, given where DA:O leaves the world it's kind've hard to, we didn't really know where we were gonna go for our sequels yet, so that's probably why" [source]

"The problem with not sequel-ing Dragon Age is then what you would have been doing is probably trying to make a fantasy RPG in a new setting and then having this impossible comparison to DA constantly happening, and every single difference being a potential criticism, you can see why that, being a potential big problem. Much as I wouldn't want to wish it upon other dev teams, DAII is what allowed DA to be a series, because it kind've is the one that eats the rock of 'this is not like my previous game' and it kind've gets rid of the worst bits of continuity errors. And so to a large degree I would say that by DAII being this sort of thing that's rushed out to fill a financial gap, it allows the series to become a series. But you know, I wouldn't say that's the fix that everyone should take" [source]

"The problem you have to remember with DAII and 'more time' is very quickly you run into Skyrim releasing, and releasing DAII then, regardless of much much extra effort you put into it, after Skyrim is not a good thing. It has to kind've live there in a pre-Skyrim world. There is stuff that can be done for sure, but there's a limit to what you can do" [source]

"Mass Effect has, Shepard is too tightly associated with ME, so what do you do? Do you just keep bringing him back and making clones of him or something? That was definitely a problem in the case of Mass Effect: Andromeda because you had a younger player character, so therefore the tonal differences were seen as problematic. So it's something that you definitely have to think about" [source]

"With Justice, you do a pretty good job of explaining away anything that happens to Anders" [source]

"Oghren is here in Awakening in part because of again, quantum. Because Wynne could be dead, Leliana could be dead, Alistair could be dead, Sten could be dead or not even recruited. So you don't really have a lot of choices if you wanna bring a companion back." Here chat mentioned that Oghren can be dead. "Oh, so they do [in-game] respond to it [if Oghren was killed in DA:O]. He must have been the least quantum then. The place that you were most likely to kill Leliana in DA:O was at the Urn of Sacred Ashes, and I think we just sort've were like 'the Urn's right there so. She's fine'. Yeah, there needs to be a warrior [in Awakening]. I mean, we could've made a brand new character but. Sten was really likely to die. Lots of people didn't even recruit him. Hers [Leliana's death] is probably the most plausible retcon" [source]

"One of the things that kind've frustrates me a bit about the lore in DA moreso than ME is because it's so quantum, is the linear stuff in the comic books and novels have had, just picked canons on occasion. Which I get because you wanna have Isabela or Sten in the comics, but it does mean that it undermines the player agency there because it's like 'what you did isn't real, because here's what's real because we put it in a comic book'. I really don't like that but given the branching in the games you would've just had to have stayed away from those characters completely, which undermines the storytelling, so I don't know. I don't know what the answer is honestly. It's a good point that it's hard to imagine that Leliana's gonna be like 'sign me up for the Wardens' [source]

[on secondary media] "I don't disagree that you could do lots of prequels, but I think there's a limit" [source]

"The biggest reason why the darkspawn design changed from DA:O to DAII is that the DA:O darkspawn, mainly honestly the ogre, but they don't quite fit into our artistic palette, and there was a strong push from the art team on DAII to move the art direction into something that was ownable and so that's the main reason. It's really just an ownability perspective. But you can kinda see it in Awakening, because like The Withered is starting to look a lot like the DAII darkspawn, or at least he's headed in that direction" [source]

"One of DAII's big art direction things, Eclipse is really good at pushing polygons, so a lot of things in the art direction of DAII are pushing polygons. So they're spikier and they just have a lot more polys in them because it's one of the things it's really good at" [source]

"If you were doing a remaster you would keep the same engine. If you were doing a remake you would switch engines. It's not a remaster if you're switching engines, that's for sure" [source]

"I still maintain that Dog was essentially put through the Joining, but whatever. Technically probably everyone who has had contact with darkspawn blood is not a Warden, but it is a bit, I do think it's one of the things where the Taint and the Blight is a bit, is presented as being more bad than really is pulled off in the games" [source]

(pls note that in places there is a bit of paraphrasing of the info, the best source is always the primary source with full quotes in their original context)

#dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #alistair theirin #fav warden #long post #longpost #morrigan #queen of my heart #anthem #mass effect #next mass effect #mass effect: andromeda #dragon age: tevinter nights #random spaces sry bc the bullet point list text blocks got too long

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