#and yknow. generally this makes me pretty sad

[chainsawworld]

I've been having a very strange predicament recently and I think. I think this might entirely kill any hope I had at learning any emotional regulation skills

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

[skitskatdacat63]

Fashion wise, what is your favorite historical period?

Hmmmm this is hard honestly, cause I can be convinced into any if I see enough pics/paintings tbh. I really like anything post ~1630s or so(I HATE THOSE RENNAISSANCE ERA PANTALOONS) Also oops idk much abt women's fashion bcs I like men's clothing a lot more ;;;; I love suits. love wearing suits. Yeah.

I feel very fond obviously of late 1600s-early 1700s obviously bcs of boy king au. I like how pre-19th century, men's and women's clothing feels pretty evenly matched(in terms of flamboyance and detail.) So much embroidery and ruffles and everything. And I really like breeches, how high waisted they are. I guess I really like the cut of the clothes. Also Napoleonic era, so important to me, I love how high waisted the breeches are, the stockings, the tailed coats, and everything yknow???

I also really like late 1800s-early 1900s as well, mostly bcs of Leyendecker's art. Like if you've seen Oppenheimer, the suits he wears before Los Alamos are soooo perfect to me. I really like how flattering they are to the body, small waist, long legs, broad shoulders aahhhh!!!

If only it were socially acceptable to wear suits all the time 🤧 I find modern fashion to be pretty boring, even if easier

Anyways this is historical me if you even care:

Cofi told me this painting looks like me 😔 true tbh

[catboyfurina]

.

[rustytrident]

mc's ultimate guide to visiting the devildom!!

a comprehensive guide to being an exchange student to the devildom by yours truly, mc.

ch: diavolo, barbatos, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor

cw: none (relationships between the characters are meant to be platonic, though i could make a nsfw version of this)

a/n: this is a long ass post ‼️‼️ i tried to be as objective as possible but idk if any biases came through. i also literally thought of this while i was cleaning my bathroom so the idea may be shitty,,, get it?? cause i was,,, cleaning my bathroom,,,, , , the idea may be shitty,,,,,, ,,,, okay so the punchline is that since i was cle-

lifestyle:

wear gloves. for everything

trust your sense of smell. if something smells too good or too bad, get the fuck away from it

write your name on the hem of your clothes

always check if something can be consumed by humans. trust me, you'd rather go hungry for a little longer than grow a limb from your stomach

don't look people in the eye when walking past them. stare straight ahead, shoulders square

learn who you can lie to and who you can't. trust your gut with that, though most demons have tells you'll need to learn

keep track of your health and request check ups from human doctors

generally, don't be afraid to ask for anything. you deserve nice experiences, as well as, ,,, yknow,,,,, checkups

take pictures of everything

don't touch books unless a trusted demon tells you it's okay

don't lose touch with your culture. implement it everywhere, from your room to your food to your music. teach your housemates all you know about it

remember you are surrounded by demons. don't tease them, don't tempt them (unless you have a pact or a pretty decent relationship with them)

the royal family:

the devildom is currently under monarchy. you will only interact with the prince, diavolo, and his butler, barbatos.

diavolo knows. he always has, he always will. don't lie to him

don't be too friendly with him for the first four months

absolutely be friendly with him after those four initial months

between us, he needs friends. and beings who don't treat him like he's fragile.

he likes games of any kind. use that to your advantage

barbatos seems scary, and he is. but you can trust him

do go over for tea if he invites you. he has an affinity for cooking and baking (mostly baking – teach him any cool recipes you may know!), and likes to serve whatever he makes with a warm cup of tea

do not, under any circumstances, even so much as mention anything about rats to him. for interworld peace

diavolo will always come first for him. don't test or question their bond, our brains are probably incapable of perceiving its magnitude

the king is just. there. but like, not even there. currently asleep

the queen is dead (unfortunately, this phrase is not seen as something positive in the devildom. don't ever say it)

the brothers:

probably the ones you'll be living with. then again, maybe not. part of the student council, and diavolo's closest companions (you'll be seeing a hearing a lot from them).

lucifer is... nice. once you get to know him. give him some time

he's very sad, very overworked. kinda like a wet cat with a family to feed. stroke his ego about twice a week and you'll be good

don't put up with what he says if it makes you uncomfortable, and don't be afraid to speak up. if you need backup, go to satan and/or belphegor

he loves music. if you want to get to know him better, ask him if he would like to talk to you about his favourite songs (they're most likely from cursed records, so listening to them is not an option)

mammon will most likely steal from you. again, put your name on everything, take pictures of everything.

the friendliest of all of them, along with beelzebub, and one of the most loyal ones

loud and a tsundere. don't ask how that works. also, very funny (laugh at his jokes even if you don't like them)

he doesn't know what boundaries are. set yours early and don't follow along with his schemes if you don't like them. he's got puppy eyes, don't fall for them

leviathan is an introvert, and antisocial. don't pressure him to talk to you.

if you're dead set in getting closer to him, do it through asking what game he's playing, or what anime he's watching. his interests are the only way he will open up

he will talk a lot if he likes the subject. he also knows every meme out there, so you can be free to say anything

he's very insecure, and will sometimes guilt trip you without realising. stay firm in your beliefs and be honest with him (do not anger him unless you know how to swim)

satan being the avatar of wrath shouldn't scare you. just don't mention anything good about lucifer during the first few months of you being there, and you'll be good

he likes books, and has learnt to be very open with his affections through them. if he likes you, you will know

again, he likes books. want him to like you? ask for recommendations, plots, ideas, poems. he's got you covered

he also loves cats. like, a lot. so if you're not the biggest reader it's time to be the biggest petter

asmodeus is touchy, but he never crosses any boundaries once they're clear to him. if you don't like physical touch, make it clear to him

the first being you should go to if you want to have any sort of physical relationship with someone there. it could be awkward to just... ask, but he's not held back by any prejudice, and would love to help

pay attention to him when he speaks. he may seem like too much sometimes, but he will be even more if you don't look him in the eye and nod (at least).

tell him he's beautiful, cause he is. and also cause who would call aphrodite themselves ugly like??

beelzebub is chill, for the most part. just don't disrespect his family or eat his food.

he's the number one demon to go to when you're having issues and want to vent it out. doubles as someone you could hug after and get a pat on the head from, but only if he's comfortable.

always have a snack in your pocket for him, you'll never regret it (but don't make it a regular thing)

he will eat anything. that is both a warning and a piece of advice.

belphegor can have a sharp tongue, so if you're sensitive it's better to either be vocal about not liking certain things he says or not be around him all together

very knowledgeable about the human world, probably the most out of all the brothers. go to him if you feel homesick

also a scholar. no he won't do your homework for you. yes he will pass every class even though he's asleep in all of them. just don't pick him as your study buddy.

doesn't hide his feelings well – you can tell what he's thinking about just by looking at him

enjoy your stay, little sheep~

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

hi beautiful bela in portuguese <3

here’s a dialogue / hc request: ways lovesick! stevie flirts with the cute, shy girl he’s falling for

HARMONIAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh my gosh i have so many thoughts

ok steve is a gentleman. we know this. hes very much a traditional holding the door open walking on the outside of the sidewalk type guy. but its just so adorable that he puts in that little bit of effort, even 10 years into your relationship

but like the doors. always opening your door for you. sometimes even bowing if hes feeling enthusiastic or just wants to embarrass you

always pulls your chair out and helps you in. and he doesnt know how nice that is, but you do.

he also loves gift giving

he buys you things. never lets you pay for anything. and sure the necklaces are beautiful and all but your favorites are the pretty rocks he picks up on the way to see you, an old sweater of his grandmothers that he thought youd look beautiful in, an extra bottle of water in his car so youre always hydrated, little things that show you how steve he is.

hes a charmer. duh. we know this. he knows how to talk to women. or honestly just people in general. but he loves using his little talent on you.

like brushing your hair behind your ear while you talk because it makes you blush. every. single. time.

but whats really the best is his compliments. because you know he means them. hes so kind.

“you look beautiful”

“that color is pretty on you”

“you know, youre so funny, and like smart. you always light up whatever room youre in”

“i just love the way you see the world.”

“your brain is just so like- its so pretty. i love how you think”

“your essay is like- so good. youre so good at that. yknow i never really was good at writing and stuff. but like this is great.”

“your music taste is so nice, it suits you.”

“you always make my brain feel like -agh- you just make me feel all warm and cozy and fuzzy.”

OH! and hes also the most caring person ever. especially with you. he learns how to read your face. learns the little signals you give when your nervous. learns what turns you on. learns what makes you blush. learns what scares you. learns how to calm you down. hes just so loving. he is love. he loves loving.

if you look sad or anxious he’ll give you a gentle “hey, you okay?”

or maybe youre just getting overstimulated and anxious. and he can see it on your face and how youre breathing.

“lets go outside, yeah? you want to go outside? i know, i know, shhh. youre okay baby. youre okay.”

maybe youre about to cry. youre speed walking to an empty room so you can cry, and steve lets you get there. but then follows you instantly. knocking gently on the door and saying your name

“y’ok? can i come inside doll?” “hey, hey i know. whats wrong dove? hey, breathe. cmon, breathe with me,ive got you. y’want a hug?”

and he gives the nicest hugs. big, warm hugs that he loves so much. he loves hugs with his whole heart. makes him feel so loved and cared for. loves feeling your body in his arms. and so of course you instantly wrap your arms around his chest. hes warm and strong. he has an arm around your back, and the other cradling your head by his neck and chest. having you hear his heartbeat and mimic his breathing to calm you down.

hes just so attentive to you. he enjoys it.

and he definitely notices how you look at him. i mean no, at first he was oblivious. poor boy has about three brain cells all working together and doesnt really think someone could like him, let alone love him.

but once he does figure it out, hes relentless.

he sees how you look at his arms. so he starts rolling his sleeves up. making you stare and he just giggles a little.

sees how you look at his hands. so he does more with them. holding things for you. fixing things for you. putting on bracelets for you while he feels your pulse speed up.

and god when he notices the way you look at his bulge hes so smug.

he knows its big. he knows its nice. and he knows you want it. his favorite game is to look up at you and watch your face turn red while you pretend you werent looking.

he stretches and his happy trail shows beneath his shirt. and youre literally just entranced. hes trying to continue a conversation but you are just blankly staring at the little trail of hair. he stops talking until you notice, looking up at him. hes grinning. smug as ever. this time he knows you know he caught you. he just raises his eyebrows at you for a second, and then continues talking while you freak out internally and get unreasonably hot.

also this isnt flirting per say, but he definitely gets caught by eddie and robin staring at your boobs or ass at least three times a week. he gets so grumpy about it. he doesnt mean to, he just cant help it. you look too pretty. but of course he will never ever make a sexual move first. youre going to have to ask him for it if you ever want it.

hes just overall the sweetest man in the world. hes adorable.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Can i propose a wild thought to you that I'm rattling off as I just thought of it

Have you considered the lizzie-scott parallels/contrasts?

One of my favourite things about Lizzie is her perpetual "i meant to do that!" attitude she approaches everything with. She thinks herself the leader of sorts and the only compitent bamboozler but my girl is just as big of a loser and klutz, she's just gotten slightly luckier so far. Its why I love her and Jimmy, they both think they're the responsible one when really they play hot potato with the braincell except neither noticed the braincell was replaced with an actual hot potato. She's better at certain things (remembering things and deduction in particular) but none of those things are surviving and its completely negated by her curiosity.

But anyways my point is that like Scott she tries to pretend she's competent and the smart one who is babysitting her teammates, keeping them under control, when she isn't any of those things and actually she cares a lot and is internally screaming all the time.

She's just capable of dropping the mask to be vulnerable. Or, yknow, aware it is in fact a mask in the first place. At the end of the day Lizzie can open up and apologize when she does something silly or says something a bit too mean. She'll just find something new to puff up her chest about.

She's also a sweat, she's just really bad at it.

(Sorry I could probably compare seablings vs fh more to emphasise my point but im trying really hard to keep to the point of this ask without going on tangents and I don't trust myself to not spend 3 hours writing about seablings and forgetting the whole point if I do (also you could also probably compare joel/lizzie to your scott/pearl stuff but 1) i think that probably works better comparing joel and scott more than lizzie and scott and 2) i think comparing their relationship with the same person even if its a different type of relationship might be more revealing and 3) i'm bias))

I ACTUALLY HAVE PONDERED SCOTT AND LIZZIE BEFORE. Not to any level that I feel is worth its own post or anything but they definitely do have a handful of common points that have sent me spiraling in the past (<- guy who really, really likes death games in general and totally didn't try to map out a full hunger games AU at one point. and put scott and lizzie in district 1 together because it just makes sense and has horrifying implications for both of them).

Anyway this is all very true, I hadn't even considered it in the context of their relationships with Jimmy but it makes a lot of sense with the whole. Awhhh I have to Keep Him Alive oop there he goes I guess he'll be die next session 🙄🙄 sort of energy they both try to embody. And how it's kind of performative for both of them, but I think I'll have to let the season play out a bit more before I form any sort of opinion on Lizzie's treatment of Jimmy. (I'm forever sad that Lizzie missed out on three seasons I feel like she might've been a smajor level blorbo to me if she was just there more)

This is a little on the meta side but from what I understand Scott pretty much started off his youtube career with Lizzie's guidance post-WoW-party so I suppose it makes enough sense that he takes after her so much on a persona level as well. Except he's a lot worse at embracing the tongue-in-cheek insincerity. That thing you said about the mask.

I do think Scott is at least acutely aware of his performative nature too, just less willing to acknowledge it for what it is. Lizzie is lying to you, Scott is lying to you but more importantly lying to himself. And that's the difference that I think makes Scott so much more. Dangerous? I suppose would be the word to use. Other than the fact that he is just overall a lot better at being a sweat in general but I'd argue even that could be seen as part of his constant need to keep up his perfect image.

Anyway I'm very unfamiliar with Lizzie and Jimmy's dynamic so I'm excited to see how it goes and even moreso with the comparison to my guy now planted i n my mind. Cheers I loveee stuff like this.

Also sidenote I do find it very entertaining that I'm as predictable as I am <-- has thought about scott/pearl and joel/lizzie as foils alot especially in LL

[grays-matter]

okay buckle up little gay monsterfuckers in my phone

MY THOUGHTS / A REVIEW OF VENOM 3: THE LAST DANCE. it only took the whole weekend to gather my thoughts. sheesh. I tried really hard to be coherent and not have any typos but they're probably inevitable.

(feel free to add on / build off this post if you want I WANT TO YAP)

First, the spoiler free portion:

Solid 5.9/10, A good movie, not great for the non-comics fan and also not good for the people ONLY there for the symbrock. This is about their conflicts. If you wanted a queer romance that isn't angst and constant separation and generally a victim of bad writing, this is not the character or movie for you. They're fucked up little guys and that's pretty well conveyed.

The movie doesn't deserve the horrendous tomatometer score it has right now, HOWEVER, it was not as good as the first two. It made some REALLY odd character choices but none that I'm entirely like, furious over although they peeve me slightly. It feels like a plot set up for some sort of spin off or, more than likely, a setup for Spider-Man 4 (elaboration below the cut, and spoilers, duh).

I go into the movie viewing it as just another universe, another set of stories for the character so I can push down the nerd in my brain going "ThAt'S nOt CoMiC aCcUrAtE!!" (he got out anyway sadly)

Good thing I'm not the average fan and run a blog where I yap about Venom!

Extremely Heavy Spoilers for Venom The Last Dance below the cut!!

I'll try to keep this as chronological as I can but I'm more talking about individual characters.

Starting off with a bang, Knull with the voice of Andy Serkis was utterly terrifying, this is the only point I went HOLY SHIT to audibly. I'm surprised by the use of the xenophages but they were quite fun actually I loved those.

YAY YIPEE SAVE THE DOGS

Some of the plane scenes from the trailer were cut :(. This movie needed more of those slightly comedic elements. With the precedent of comedy that was set in Venom and LTBC, I felt like this could have taken itself less serious and still been good, violent and dark (more on that in Vegas).

The relationship between eddie and venom was kinda regressed this movie idk what happened it made me sad. I know they were mad at eachother. Also yeah yeah best friend line whatever this wasn't queerbait to me. They're messy as fuck but I can still be dissapointed without yelling queerbait.

The Travel Sequence besides meeting Martin and his family could have been a montage. (Yes, even you venom horse).

THE KID. THE KID GIVING EDDIE CHOCOLATE AND VENOM TELLING EDDIE HE'D BE A GOOD DAD. <- wrecked me. I'm looking at You Venom War... Let Eddie be a dad at all 2024... This is the gayest moment of the whole movie. And y'know the creation of man shot with eddies hand and venom's tendril.

The only comedy being the vegas segment felt overdone it should have just be peppered throughout the movie. Vegas still could have happened just been less overwhelming. The suit he wore should have been made of Venom instead :/

Dr Payne needed more setup for me to actually care I liked her alot I wish I had more of her in conext of the movie. They could just not make me care about her. Like what are they doing with that End reveal of Agony?? Trying to sell fortnite skins?

I could have jumped out of my seat and climbed the fucking walls with how Rex Strickland was used. WHy did they just turn him into a different character. He's supposed to be a walking symbiote from the Vietnam days of experimentation that absorbed the codex of his original host.

I mean maybe he was but he seemed a little shocked at all that symbiote info and yknow. He bleeds. And more importantly, where WAS HIS MUSTACHE. I liked the Ve'nam book and his intoduction (one of the few stories of KiB and AC that I liked) so I thought the use of him in the movie was just a very odd character choice but I was so excited to be like "I know that guy!" to be really mad about it.

also. My favorite character tag holds so true in this movie. cause that guy??? that guy rex was helping during the xenophage attack??? the guy who got his legs woodchippered off just above the knee? FLASH IS THAT YOU????

*shakes sony by the shoulders* Sony. Sony if you fuck up a Flash Thompson Agent Venom movie. SO HELP ME GOD. I think I'd drop dead of mortal embarrasment that that's my favorite little guy.

I wish Mulligan and Lasher lived longer. Having lasher with actually coherent dialogue was nice. And they looked really cool.

The ending...

Well. If you didn't watch the 2nd end credit scene I can see why your devastated. Also what was that capcut ass montage. Had me cringing cause what the fuck guys. All of our hope is in that silly little cockroach. and that symbiotes aren't weak to acid soooo V is fine.

Felt like agony should have shown up at the begining of the fight. Instead of like. the very end. Shes cool I like her and i think it's funny that they're Payne and Agony. But like I said before they just could not make me care.

The final battle with Hybrid showing up and the other unnamed symbiotes zipping around was really fun actually. The credits were so long cause of all the cgi artists on this movie. Also the venomized animals in the credits were hilarious. WHY PUT GRENDEL IN THERE THOUGH IF REX ISNT A SYMBIOTE???

Unanswered questions:

1. Mulligan was abandonded by his previous symbiote, which we now from the LTBC end credit scene was Toxin. Where is Toxin now?

2. Is Rex Strickland alive? We know he gets his acid burn on his face, will we see his return in another movie?

3. What happened to the glob of venom that got left behind in the mcu when Eddie dissapeared? because we know it happened in both universes. Did Bartender get it? Is Bartender the MCU's Eddie Brock? But as I've posted before Bartender is catholic and has reasons to hate spiderman.

4. Who owes Eddie in New York?

I'll add onto this once I see the movie again but these are my thoughts for now.

[worldwidewebzy]

REGRETEVATOR HEADCANONS BOOOOO SCARY

Pest LOVES taxidermy, especially rouge taxidermy. Its a special interest of theirs and they've even tried some of it themselves. He's pretty good at it!!

Poob also likes taxidermy!! Though the specific process you have to do makes poob very squeamish and sick and icky,, (that being said poob IS NOT a uwu soft enby bean, they could kick ur ass lmao)

Poobians as a whole, are the embodiments of joy, happiness, and FUN!!!!!! They thrive off envoirments with high morale and general good vibes. Their population dwindles when said elements are scarce. If a poobian's mental health is hurt in anyway, that poobian's mental health will directly correspond to their physical health, causing the poobian to fall ill.

If a poobian falls to much into their pit of despair, they can "metamorphize" into a party pooper. Party poopers are the antithesis to poobians, thriving off of despair, sadness, and turmoil. Party poopers aren't inherently evil, but their nihilistic and melancholic nature can cause party pooper communities to be.. Not the healthiest space for anybody to be in.

Party poopers can remorph themselves into a poobian, but that requires extensive mental health intervention for that to happen. Depending on how much despair is in a party pooper, recovery can take as long as years.

To avoid this, poobians are a very social species. Full of many support systems ready to help any poobian! Though unfortunately, toxic positivity has been prevalent in some poobian societies. And there's a silent, but all to painful ableism riddled in poobian society as a whole.

Every poobian smells like their favorite food!

Pest has an EXTREMELY hard time empathizing, thanks to her undiagnosed aspd, npd, and autism. They also have an hard time realizing the concept of consequence and law. (this is pretty much canon expect for the autism part iirc but yeagh)

Gnarpy has IBS. Xe seem like a IBS girlie (gender neutral) to me do yuo understand

Poob HATES gender reveal parties with a passion.

mannequin mark and wallter... Do you hear me..

Gregoriah basks in light like a lizard

OK split pilby YURI SWAGGERR!!!

HOLY SHIT you guys have no idea how cornily, unconditionally, atrociously lovesick pilby is for split and i mean it

This dude's catapiller antennae form into hearts just thinking about split, absolutely cartoonishly in love with her.

They like having silly picnics where they eat apples and bananas (pilby looooves apples) go bird watching and just have a gay ol' time...

When they were first starting to know eachother pilby wrote """"anonymous""""" love letters to split, the letters in question were painfully obviously writen by them and it made split laugh and giggle. She didnt tell pilby that she knew they wrote those letters until after pilby confessed their love to them. That made pilby all bright red it was adorable

The confession in question was pilby performing a musical number about all the stored feelings they've been hiding for split all told through song and... It didn't go how pilby wanted to and kind of failed, but split still was genuinely blown away by it. She cheered pilby up when they commented how "bad" it was and kissed them on the forehead....... <33

Infected has a friend thats minecraft youtuber and yes they have a dubstep channel intro for it yknow the ones..

Gnarpy's form is a facade, like how invader zim has a human disguise. It acts like a shield, keeping gnarpy's (surprisingly frail) true form safe in a non gnarpian envoirment. It's designed to be conventionally "cute" to ward off suspicion, and increase trustworthyness.

Gnarpian govermentals are planning on making upgraded versions of these facades. Making them more unassuming. They're even planning "human" looking facades. It's fucking scary

mannequin mark and wallter make lampert together like constructed a child. Building blueprints AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! hashtag yaoi swagger

MICHE IS A DRAG QUEEN HE IS A DRAG QUEEN

Miche is also swagapino and black as a people SWAG

Also miche isn't actually a cat he's very much like... Hes cat adjacent but his fangs are like the whiskers if a cat fish LIKE

The elevator has existed for as long as existence itself. Nobody runs it as the elevator itself is technically an living organism

Bive exists in quantum super position. She simultaneously exists in both FNARB, and the funny maze, it's only until a player enters either floor is where she stop existing in this superposition. Kinda like Schrödinger's cat. Schrödinger's conspiracy theorist

Bive is built like she was designed by dr suess

Unlike a red teddy, reddy is very much full of love :)

[nat-stimmy]

so ive been seeing more and more uncredited / poorly credited stimboards in the stim tag and it's been bugging me, so i decided to put together a post about some things i think newer stim blogs should know!

CREDITING:

- DO NOT USE PINTEREST AS A SOURCE. DO NOT EVER USE PINTEREST AS A SOURCE. Pinterest is full of reposted gifs that other people have made (including my own!) that have been posted there without their permission. it's just not a good way to credit people, because you are using stolen gifs. Find your gifs on Tumblr. - DO NOT USE UNCREDITED STIMBOARDS AS A SOURCE. if you cannot find the gif ANYWHERE ELSE then either use a reverse image search engine like tineye to find the source or use another gif. sometimes posts just disappear and blogs delete and gifs get lost. it's sad but it happens and the next best thing is to figure out what video it was from and gif it yourself. - DO NOT POST YOUR STIMBOARD BEFORE YOU HAVE CREDITED THE GIFMAKERS. No, you can't say "dm for credit!" or "Lost the sources, sorry, but its too pretty not to post!". Credit your sources. Blogs like mine put effort into making sharable stim gifs for you and we would appreciate a "thank you" in the form of a link back to the post you found the gif from. Otherwise you're just stealing it. - DO NOT USE ART YOU HAVE NOT MADE FOR THE MIDDLE IMAGE, EVEN IF YOU CREDIT. While gifmakers' content is made to be shared and used in this way, general art is not. the artist will not appreciate their art being stolen. if you have express permission from the artist, then it's fine. but do not presume that Just Crediting Is Enough.

DNI BANNERS:

BE AWARE OF YOUR FONT + COLOR CHOICES AND TEXT SPACING. Certain fonts are harder for people to read and certain color combinations can cause eye strain and headaches, and with smaller banners with long DNI lists sometimes words get cut off or moved and make people read it wrong. Just a bad time all around. Don't have much advice for this, just don't use bright colors on bright colors, or pastels on pastels and use a plain text font instead of a fancy Aesthetic one.

DO NOT ADD YOUR DNI BANNER TO POSTS THAT ARE NOT YOURS. I can't believe I have to say this but if a post does not originate from your blog, you do not get to add your banner to a post by reblogging it to your blog. That is incredibly rude. What if the person you're reblogging from has different boundaries than you? Be considerate.

BE SPECIFIC. "weirdos / freaks dni" is not good because nobody knows what you're talking about, and also yknow. the word "freak" is ableist and maybe not the best choice of words here. You might as well just not use a banner at all at that point. There's a similar issue to "Basic DNI criteria" because there is no basic DNI criteria. it's different for everyone. List your boundaries plainly and accessibly. That's about all I can think of for now, but this post may be updated or added onto! Please spread this around!

[kawaiikafka]

yknow i’m 100% a cis woman and am very comfortable with my identity as one, but for some reason, even with the body that i have, i often feel like i don’t “qualify” as one.

this is a realization i’ve only recently begun coming to terms with but i think it’s mostly to do with my autism and the low empathy i have as a result. i was always taught as a child that being empathetic is “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” and imagining how they feel, and i always believed myself to be pretty good at that. but as it turns out, empathy is something much more complicated than imagining that someone probably feels shitty because their dog died, for example.

i’m aware that there are different types of empathy, but it seems like it’s generally defined as being able to accurately read body language to tell how a person is feeling, and literally feeling whatever it is that they’re feeling. i can perform this to a certain extent, but overall it’s not really something i can do, nor can i teach myself to do so. I do CARE about other people and their problems, and i can think , “yeah, i’d probably feel sad/angry/happy/whatever if that happened to me, too,” but i can’t truly feel a certain way about something if it hasn’t actually happened to me. If a friend’s dog dies, I have sympathy, but i’m not going to be sad or upset like they are — it’s not my issue. I can be compassionate, I can make attempts at cheering people up, but i cannot be truly empathetic. and i feel like most of the women around me can do this, while i cannot. i have been told all my life that women are the most empathetic, and that’s why i feel like i don’t count as one sometimes. i know it’s probably enforcing gender roles to think this way, i know it’s internalized misogyny, i know it’s ridiculous. and yet it still feels like ive trained so hard to play the perfect role in a play, but no matter what i do, i’ll never get the part.

[aroace-poly-show]

its probably not a song that hw would cover sound wise perhaps but. inochi ni kirawarete iru's lyrics. (specifically thinking ruinene here)

"i couldn't care a bit if i died, but i'd be pretty sad if the people around me did / i suppose it’s some kind of ego; that goes “because I just wouldn’t like it” and "i couldn't care a bit if i died, But I’m wanted alive by the people around me"

"Are these wounds really ok to be expressed with words like “I’m lonely”

"If we’re going to end up sad and if that’s fine, then you gotta laugh alone forever"

"I don’t need dreams or even a tomorrow, If you’ll have lived on then that’s all I need. Yeah… That’s actually what I want to sing about."

"Killing, struggling, laughing, shouldering it all, living, living, living, living-- just live."

idk just something about the vibe of. our self worth is at rock bottom but i care about you so let's just keep living and living and living on

AWAWAWAWAWA YEAH YEAH ITS SO. ITS SO HW RUINENE….sobs…

i’m gonna take this opportunity to give some of my thoughts on the song judas by abuse and hw. i can make any song about the character. /ref

well. it’s more of a rui song in general ( staring at the chorus lyrics) but i’m on that hw brainrot and thought too hard about it and now it’s permanently connected to hw in my head. hear me out.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "walking" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "lamenting" creature” rui. hw rui as well of course. but yeah. feel like its self explanatory.

“Good morning, it's no problem if you cry, shout Or laugh. Look, your facial expression in this photo looks funny” hear me out i have a very specific visual in my head featuring hw ruinene for this like cause like they. they have this wall between them. but they still tease each other just like this like everything’s the same like they aren’t keeping themselves closed off from the other and. augh. do you see my vision.

“I want to change, I want to change myself! Please, change my life!” hw. they all. they all have Something about them that they so desperately want to change. they want things to be different. so fucking bad. they all take that opportunity to try again and to change in main story. yknow. am i making sense.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "deciding" creature MARCH! You are a "killing" creature” rui again. at its core this is a rui song to me <3

"I don't need it, it doesn't feel good" hw excluding tsukasa lying like they don’t still love shows with all their heart

“My need for attention is unbearable” i still need to get around to do his post but TSUKASA. TSUKASA. need i say more.

“I admit, that I will never change, You can only change, what can be changed” mmmmmmmmm. rui rui rui rui and his belief and acceptance that he’ll always be that weirdo kid who’s never trusted but also emu and her feelings about her childishness and aughhhhhhh

“That's why, our feelings/Make the world more beautiful?” throws up and dies. hwcore fucking line.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "walking" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "lamenting" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "deciding" creature. March on, you continue to live.” RUI AGAIN BUT THAT LAST FUCKKNG LINE. march on you continue to live. hw entirely. hello. is anyone out there. are you hearing me.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[n7punk]

"Lightbeam" Fic Notes

Pretend I posted this *checks watch* two days ago when I finished Lightbeam. I got busy lol and I was playing Stardew Valley.

Epilogue Life:

:) You’ll have to wait

Chapter 1:

⦁ This fic was originally written back in February after Embrace the Blame in preparation for the Bang. TLDR is we needed to have the fics ready early so the artists could then illustrate them, so I just wanted to write the whole thing at once because that’s how my projects work. I actually finished Embrace the Blame a few days before I posted the final chapter(s) because I had been posting it on a schedule and I could just continue using that as I worked on this to make the gap in my posting overall smaller. I think it actually took me like two weeks to write this, which is why there was a week and a half between the end of EtB and start of MMaM (and of course I had to write MMaM some too, but I already wrote the first few chapters ages ago). It’s also why there was almost two weeks between Start Your Engine finishing and Our Love Is God starting. I wrote the entire rough draft in February, and during that break I edited and finalized the fic for posting in May. I also just had a lot going on then, but yeah this fic has been slotted in between my others over the last few months.

⦁ Adora’s father’s information was left blank because she was an immaculate conception. More on this will be explored in the sequel fic <3

⦁ Norwyn is officially unnamed in the reboot I think but he’s one of the higher-ups at Mystacor. In the OG he was Shadow Weaver’s mentor.

⦁ Adora’s weather powers come up a lot in the first few scenes and I wish I had more “diversity” in magical incidents, but the problem is, as outlined later in the fic, Adora has no idea the stuff she’s doing (see: her coffee) and the weather stuff is pretty much the only consistent thing she has identified as maybe her fault. There was initially also mention of a drowning incident she miraculously survived when learning how to swim that even she knew was weird, but it ended up cut for flow.

⦁ In general, magic is normal, inevitable, and accepted, but there are still some “normie” communities that pop up in small pockets and want nothing to do with, say, a lesbian drowning the upper east side by accident on a Wednesday afternoon because she’s sad. Legally they can’t do anything to “discriminate”, but it’s a culture thing. Catra faced constant bullying and Adora was only safe because she didn’t even know if she had magic. Weaver moved there after getting cursed from her own incompetence because they easily believed the story that someone else cursed her and welcomed her in as a victim with open arms. Her understanding along with rejection of magic made her the perfect person to point to justify their ignorance (see, even a once-sorceress can be turned on and reject magic when she realizes the dangers. Etc). The main reason she moved there was just because there was less magic in the area, though (part of the reason a normie community popped up there), so it made it easier to manage her curse because it was weakened.

⦁ Oh boy, the Whispering Woods section. So first, I should say the version in the fic is pretty much what I originally outlined. The only big difference was Adora was supposed to find out about Razz from her research and went seeking her out rather than going there following her “mom.” I couldn’t figure out what that research would look like, though, so I went with the mom thing because that aligned with her backstory. My big problem was that I got a new idea once I got to writing the woods and the new idea was bad but it felt like reversing progress to go back to the original thing. The new idea was that Mara was an ancient She-ra who fell in love with Light Hope and, in her grief when Light Hope died, accidentally transformed her soul into a guardian spirit who would watch over future She-ras and “keep them safe” so they don’t get in a position where they, yknow, accidentally warp time and space and the laws of physics again. Light Hope was the one who actually sent the lightning, sent Catra, and protected Adora when she was drowning when she was seven. Adora would find the hut, would talk in circles with Razz, spot Catra who immediately fled, and get so frustrated and sad it started pouring rain, which forced Catra to flee back in through the window and into Adora’s arms for safety from Razz but she refused to change back because she was mad at her. While waiting out the storm, Adora eventually had the idea to google guardian spirits, found different methods for getting in contact with them, and tried meditation. This is around when I realized this whole set-up was bust, but the idea was going to be that she got in contact with Light Hope, had her powers she wasn’t in touch with explained to her, and told Light Hope to stop the wrath of god shit. Light Hope’s existence kind of wiped out everything I had planned for what was supposed to be the actual fic with her learning her powers. This new backstory changed everything and ruined what I actually wanted to write about, so I went back to my original outline. It’s way better for it and it meant I actually got to do the slow discovering and mastering of her powers I had planned, but boy can it be a struggle to dig yourself out of a hole and lose “progress”.

⦁ Catra eating the pie was actually a joke from before I started working on the fic. The original joke was that she was legitimately visiting the woods just to “steal” food from Razz and this was a thing she did on the weekends sometimes because they all lived nearby. Razz was fine with sharing with her cat “guest” in this version and seemed oblivious to the fact she was a person. This got changed because 1) Even if I changed it so they were all living near the woods and there weren’t barriers to Catra and Adora spending time together early on when she’s reluctant, that then posed the question of why the hell Adora hadn’t tried visiting her mom’s place already if it was easily accessible, 2) while I think Catra taking the pie once she knows about it is in character, her ever wandering through the woods enough to even find Razz to steal from wasn’t, so the basic set up didn’t really work, 3) the final version, with Adora’s powers going haywire and bringing her there, is way more impactful and in line with the fic’s story. It gives Catra a motivation to keep in contact with Adora after this point and illustrates definitively just how powerful Adora’s powers can be when she’s still in denial about the “warping the fabric of reality” thing.

⦁ Agatha Trunchbull was the basically demonic head mistress in Matilda, which, from my understanding, had a fucking torture closet she would lock kids into, in addition to regularly assaulting them like when she clobbered a massive serving tray over a kids head. I haven’t actually read the book, I just knew someone who liked it growing up and I went to the wikipedia to be sure when I went for the reference.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Adora’s spiraling and exaggerating, but empaths do need to actually hold the hand of someone and open their heart to feel their energy, so Adora isn’t likely to ever cause an accidental concussion as long as she’s careful about who she holds hands with.

⦁ “Catra sends her a condescending look that makes Adora blush for some reason.” It’s because you like belittling, idiot.

⦁ Catra’s kitten form is partially a result of trauma and partially natural self-defense. Having such a small form allowed her to hide and slip away when she needed safety from Weaver/bullies/etc. The trauma getting a little better is why she was able to “grow up” a little but she was right that it’s permanent in the sense she will never be able to have an adult form.

⦁ The meditation was actually a lot more helpful than Adora gave it credit for, but again, lack of self-awareness.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Adora’s whole thing about “oh, I’ve never actually experienced this thing I’ve heard talked about” is definitely a realization I’ve had a few times in my life, usually in some medical context though, like when I found out I’d never had an actual runny nose because I’d never breathed through my nose before.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Catra is being especially cuddly as a cat because it’s an “acceptable” way to get snuggled up close so she can then transform and properly cuddle Adora.

⦁ Catra showing up at her door as a cat was literally just because I wanted an excuse to write more kitten!Catra I was ready to be done with her yet lol.

⦁ I’m planning to write a sequel fic set a few years down the line once Catra and Adora are married, but as you know if you’ve been following my Tumblr, I have like three active WIPs demanding attention, so that’s going to have to wait.

⦁ This isn’t related to the fic so much, but this was my first time ever doing a fandom event! There’s definitely zines and stuff I would have wanted to participate in before but I only ever learn about these things after they’re already over lol. I loved being part of this Bang and oh my god do I love the illustrations so much Karo did an INCREDIBLE job. I knew I wanted to participate in the Bang the second I heard about it, but picking a fic was hard. I really wanted to write something in canon but didn’t think any of my current OotW ideas would be long enough for the word count requirement. At that time, I had a canon divergent AU ready to go, but it was Make Me A Monster and I wanted to do something happy so… yeah that was a no go lol even if someone might have wanted to draw the cybernetics. Lightbeam ended up being the perfect option because it was 1) fairly short for an AU but long enough to meet the requirement and post over the week, 2) light-hearted, 3) had plenty of scenes I thought someone might want to illustrate between Adora’s powers and kitten!Catra, 4) I’ll be honest, it kind of felt full circle, because…

⦁ At the start of this year I posted freak occurrence: confluence as a celebration of over three years of posting Catradora fics and finally getting to my fics being 1% of the entire Catradora tag on AO3 (next goal is 1% of the SPOP tag ��� JOKE THIS IS A JOKE THAT’S NEVER HAPPENING). It featured tons of my Catradora couples from various AUs — including one AU that hadn’t been posted yet. I’d had the freak occurrence fic idea for three years, so whenever I came up with a new AU I’d picture its Catradora in that scenario, which meant I’d already thought about what Lightbeam’s couple would do in that scenario even though I hadn’t written it yet. Getting to post it as part of the Bang was so exciting and I hope it lived up to expectations! The version that was featured in that fic was a few years older, when Adora had a better grip on her magic, but you’ll see a bit of that in the sequel fic.

Meta:

Playlist

Upcoming:

I have a one shot I’m probably going to post in the next couple days and then I’m aiming for Slipstream (my hacker AU) but uh….. Something is coalescing that may also demand attention. Stay tuned ig lol

[carpememes]

KLAUS starters

feel free to change pronouns

“Stop, don’t tell me. Let me guess…. I give up. Who are you?”

“Can I get your something to drink? Espresso, cappuccino?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in equestrian training?”

“No worries, I’ve got someone covering for me.”

“I’m gonna take one last look around the old place so I can forget it.”

“There you have it! But, hey, we gave it the old college try didn’t we?”

“Guess I’ll just go pack up and head home then. Too bad! Darn, oh darn!”

“You’re right! When will I grow up? When will I stop squandering these opportunities- that you so kindly forced me into- and become my own man?”

“I guess I must really hanker down and rethink my priorities.”

“You think I’m just going to watch you purposely fail and then let you waltz right back to a privileged life void of any purpose or meaning?”

“You can’t cheat, bribe or squirm your way out of this one.”

“Thank you, Dad! This is really wonderful, father, thank you so much!”

“I love this terrible coach ride. Thank you so much.”

“Nice boat. Any chance we might actually get on it today?”

“I thought there would be some sort of a reception.”

“This is no way to treat a person. Certainly not THIS person.”

“Come to the counter, I’ll be right out!”

“What kind of town has a Battle Bell?”

“Welcome to _, home ot the world’s finest feuds.”

“Are you gonna buy something, or are you just here to chit-chat?”

“Holy moley, that’s you?! What happened?”

“Mingling with their sworn enemy spawn? Can’t have that!”

“So now I’m reduced to doing this so I can get some money and start fresh far, far away from here.”

“Are. You going. To buy something?!”

“C’mon, sport! I saved the best for last.”

“Go home, you loser!”

“Oh, I get it. Did my father put you up to this?”

“Show me where I’m really staying. I’d like a hot bath and a look at the dinner menu.”

“That’s it! This place is the worst! I’m going home!”

“I hate it here! It’s so cold and icky and the people are mean to me!”

“Nice guy. Loves visitors.

“Hello? I’m in your house.”

“Better alive in the gutter than hacked into pieces! No thank you!”

“Please don’t chop me up and scatter my parts in the woods!”

“In there? What? No way. You must be kidding.”

“Please! Open this! Why are you doing this to me?”

“These better sound sad. Do they sound sad?”

“Probably not an axe murderer. Though, still is a possibility but, most likely, no.”

“Remember me from the nice breaking and entering the other night?”

“That is… totally normal!”

“Centuries of glorious hatred passed down through generations!”

“Now, I just know you didn’t mean to disrespect all of that heritage. Right?”

“Telling children to go to school to learn to write? What is wrong with you?!”

“I’m so close to getting out. I am not about to let you mess it all up.”

“Whatever you’re doing, leave me OUT OF IT.”

“Not a word. You just sit there and be all magical and awesome.”

“Are we going to learn something today?”

“Look, if you have to be here, at least be quiet.”

“Let’s make a deal- If I teach you something will you get out of here? Please?”

“Friends of yours, I take it?… They seemed nice.”

“A flying sleigh… pulled by magical reindeer?”

“Oh look. It CAN laugh.”

“What are you doing at our ambush?”

“So we must band together in peace… To help stop this peace?”

“Back home I’ve got pretty much everything.”

“Back home I’ve got pretty much everything. But here I’m just another irrelevant,pointless… nobody.”“

Hey. You’re a pretty good listener, y’know?”

“How many nights do you lie awake, in the darkest place?”

“If happy lives a mile away, a couple steps is all it takes.”

“If kindness lives in everyone, then all it takes is standing up.”

“Can’t touch it, see it- but you can always feel it.”

“The greatest things you’ll ever know are invisible.”

“How have we never defeated you?”

“We wanted children. Lots of them.”

“We kept waiting, but they never came.”

“Even now, sometimes, it almost like she’s still...”

“After she was gone, I guess I got lost.”

“Yknow what? No homework! Am I the best teacher ever or what?”

“I just thought I’d give the place an update.”

“Check it out, I think it looks pretty good.”

“Someone would have to be pretty stupid to want to leave this place now.”

“Oh, wow. You have no idea what you’ve done, do you?”

“Not quite the same place is it?”

“A true act of good will always sparks another.”

“Everybody’s out to get something, right?”

“Oh, well. Best leave it alone, I say. I’m sure it’s nothing that could fester and eventually become a source of regret.”

“He said he’d never been more proud of me... And he hugged me. Can you believe that?”

“This town was built on resentment and spite.”

“Let’s go. We’re done here.”

“Kids talk. And if kids happen to talk about their parents forming an angry mob then, y’know, teachers listen.”

“Then you showed up and made it complicated, as usual.”

“So all this was for nothing?”

“Shall we then?”

“What did you expect of course she loved me.”

“I’m coming, Love.”

“It was as if he had just... faded away.”

“What happened to him after that... How, why... I can’t even begin to comprehend.”

“I stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago.”

“What I do know is that, once a year, I get to see my friend.”

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Another song for My Girl, My Girl, My Girl

Honestly a lot of Half.Alive songs fit really well with Sorry, It's Locked in general. Like, I have one for Birdie and Tim in Crossroads and I have this one for My Girl. I don't know what it is about their songs, but they're just so perfect for this series, especially the quieter moments, you know? They're the exact kind of nostalgic/happy-sad vibes I want a lot of the quiet moments to have, i think.

Honestly, now that I'm really thinking about it, this song feels like it fits kinda the whole series, a little bit.

I never told You never asked 'Til I got older I kept it wrapped You had me holding up my past I came to know it's what I want so bad

For My Girl i think this just feels like if Jay had actually realised he was trans, like, got a lot further down that line than he actually will. It's like him realising how much he hid and now that Tim's pointed things out to him, he can look back on his life and kinda notice all the moments from when he was younger that were evidence of him being trans, even if at the time and for a long while after he didn't think twice about them.

And Tim did sort of ask Jay if he was trans, but the second Jay denied it he backed down and let it go. Sort of. He still sets up their forced fem and general fem sex stuff in a way that he hopes will make Jay feel more comfortable actually exploring his gender. But as far as Jay's concerned, or would be concerned if he lived long enough to figure it out, Tim never asked so Jay didn't tell him he was trans until way later on. As in, had Jay lived it would have taken him close to 5-10 years before he told Tim he was trans.

He would figure it out eventually, though. He'd take a while, but eventually he'd realise that what he wanted was actually to be she and her and Lark.

You know I wanna live to fast And die too young It ain't that bad Just don't look up I found my path is that enough?

This is kind of Jay's attitude to everything in my head. Like, i don't know it just is. He definitely lives too fast, and he's going to die too young. He downplays things a lot (though, he also makes other things out to be worse than they are? He's a bit all over the place) like, I'm pretty sure he actually says the words "It wasn't that bad" or "It's not that bad" in S,IL itself at some point, when he's talking to Tim about Alex.

He's pretty sure he's not going to live very long though. That's his path, he doesn't want it to happen, he wants to survive this whole thing with Tim and go on with their lives after, but he's not fully convinced they'll get that. It's mostly just a nice thought for him.

Well I was getting used to what I thought was love It made me laugh I came undone 'Cause all I had Was not enough

Jay's understanding of If It Ain't Broken and everything that happened in that. Like, yeah yeah he knew Alex wasn't in love with him, but he did get used to their relationship and how it was, and that became what he thought all/most relationships would be in his life. And everything he had to give Alex 'wasn't enough' to make Alex love him back (or so he thought), and that did make him come undone a little bit, yknow? It fucked him up really bad, not just in the "oh poor guy he's so hurt and upset by it" way, but also in the "Oh he doesn't really understand boundaries and really needs to work on his ability to communicate what he wants properly" way.

I want you to move me I want you to move me Step into the moonlight Throw your weight in to me

Okay, so, this bit's like, lyrically it fits very well with Jay's inability to ask for what he wants and him just wanting Tim to do whatever so Jay doesn't have to deal with the embarrassment of telling Tim what he wants and why he wants it. He just wants Tim to make him do it.

On the other hand, this song is so very gently upbeat that something as serious as that feels inappropriate to connect to it. The mention of moonlight reminds me of the fic White Noise which is to be uploaded after this next chapter of My Girl. Jay and Tim go stargazing together and end up leaning against each other as they sit on the roof of one of their cars. They do this for Jay's birthday, and the gesture is incredibly moving to Jay, as it is a celebration of him still being alive that he had previously (in chapter three) assured Tim was not necessary.

I want your storms Shaking the trees I want your waves Breaking on me I want your knife To cut the seams When all the feelings Tie me up to be

This verse clearly would be a reference to Jay and Alex's past relationship, both in university and two years prior to My Girl, when they had sex for the first and last time since university. This works for both of those relationships, as both were hectic and turbulent and harmful to all involved. Storms that shake the trees often rend branches from their home trunks and can leave people with devastating injuries as well as a fear of storms that they never before held. Storm waves can do the same, dashing people upon rocks and causing clifftops to slump or crumble, dragging any hapless victims who may had been standing there to their deaths.

Knives do not typically come with storms, however often within Sorry, It's Locked Jay would make references and allusions to heartbreak by speaking about Alex holding his heart in his hands after having carved it from his chest with a knife. Alex was always insinuated to be careless with Jay's heart not only for having carved it from his chest (a bloody, gruesome and deadly action to take) but also because once he had Jay's heart in his hands he would continue to use the knife upon it. This was meant as a comment on how even after Jay had given Alex everything he had, even going so far as to allow him to claim Jay's heart as his own without giving anything in return, Alex still continued to cause harm to Jay simply because he wanted to. He had nothing more to gain from the damage he caused, he simply wanted to do it, so he did.

You know I wanna live to fast And die too young It ain't that bad Just don't look up I found my path is that enough? Well I was getting used to what I thought was love It made me laugh I came undone 'Cause all I had Was not enough

After the previous verse, the chorus takes on a new meaning, talking more about how Jay would have allowed Alex to destroy him in his entirety simply because he thought he loved him, despite how Alex hurt him and the knowledge that Alex would never love him back. He convinces himself that what is happening between them isn't 'that bad' and convinces himself that there is nothing better for him to look up and try to find. He is content to continue down this path of destruction at Alex's hands.

mutual destruction dude? Alex wasn't the only one at fault?? like, at all? he was just as hurt by their uni relationship as Jay was, probably more honestly.

My apologies.

I want you to move me I want you to move me Step into the moonlight Throw your weight in to me

Once again, the chorus takes on a new meaning when thought about in the context of Jay and Alex's university relationship. Jay and Alex's university relationship was built around mutually agreed upon power dynamics and dominance and submission, often with Alex physically moving Jay around as he pleased or 'throwing his weight into him' in order to hold him down. This was, of course, all at least mostly agreed upon by the two of them (although my understanding is that they should have spoken about it far more and far more freely than they did, as miscommunication between them did lead to situations with dubiously consensual elements)

Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Okay. SO. one just generally i really like this line, like, yeah idk i just do. But like, i think it just works so well for both Jam and Jaylex, yknow? like, idk it's like all those ocean metaphores i use for Jay's relationships, with Alex being a stormy ocean that's dangerous and getting subby with him was like drowning whereas Tim was a calm, peaceful ocean and getting subby with him is like floating in a calm, warm sea.

"Be my chain where i stand" can either be "hey, you're tethering me to earth and making me feel more real and secure and safe because I can't just float away and suffocate in the vastness of space." OR it can be "You're fucking trapping me let me go, these chains are hurting me and i long for freedom. My wrists and ankles are raw from the shackles, just let me go." That last one can both be how Jay felt about Alex and that relationship back in uni, OR it can more specifically be Jay about how he can't ever seem to quite get over Alex and how his continued like, love for him is causing him pain because he knows the relationship was bad for him and he knows Alex will never love him back. well he thinks Alex will never love him back. He is wrong about that one tho lol

"Want to be my song when i can't dance" can also be both Jam and Jaylex. Like, chapter 2 of S,IL, duh, all those songs on the radio that just felt like they were making fun of Jay because of how fucked up his relationship with Alex was, and because he was daydreaming about getting to dance around the kitchen with Alex and wondering if Amy did that with him, knowing that he wasn't going to get that cute domestic stuff with Alex no matter how badly he wanted it. OR. it can be jam. it can be Jam inn chapter three of My Girl, because they are going to get to dance to the radio together like Jaylex never did and it's gonna be wonderful.

Also "When i can't dance i want you to move me" does fall a bit back to the whole Jay cant ask for what he wants thing, but I think it's probably in a softer way, yknow? Like, feeling awkward or lost in Tim's kitchen because he never got anything like this with Alex so he doesn't really know what he's doing. He's not good at romance even though he craves it, so he needs Tim to teach him the steps (both the steps to the dance and the steps to take to make their relationship work and be healthy)

"Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe" again this just feels like the whole "ocean metaphores for both relationships but in different ways" thing. Alex was a distructive fire that made it hard to breath and Jay was so exhilarated by it that the adrenaline stopped him getting tired of it, even when it hurt him. Tim is like a campfire, all warm and glowing and you roast marshmallows on it with your loved ones, sure the heat still makes it hard to breath when you're close enough to it so you can roast your marshmallows (??? I think I'm using marshmallows as a metaphore for them having sex???) but it's not an all encompasing forest fire, there's more to this fire than just using the heat to roast marshmallows. You can just sit by it and swap stories, you can use it to warm up and recharge after a long, tiring day. Jay can never get tired of this fire, not because the adrenaline is keeping him awake, just because who could get tired of a campfire? they're so lovely.

I want you to move me Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance I want you to move me Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe Step into the moonlight Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance Throw your weight in to me Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Same

Be my chain Where I stand Would you be my song When I can't dance Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Same