#and yet you still want her

[psalacanthea]

WiP Wednesday

its tabletop night, so here, have this. I need to stop looking at it tho, must purge the durgetash brainrot for the night so I can try to murder my players effectively.

A little bit of my Durge Belladonna being a weird freak at Gortash, more of which can be found here on my AO3!

"Is she still alive, my dear Belladonna?”

Belladonna blinked, tilting her head to stare down at Enver.  He took the wine back from her hand, their fingers brushing.  Reflexively her hand withdrew the instant they touched.  Her attention drifted back to Lady Janneth, still lying sprawled on the bed, under the blanket.  Oh, he thought she’d–

“Why would I kill your toys?” she asked, attention drawn back to him as he sipped the wine.  Ugh, the hair.  Her eyes kept being drawn back, obsessively.  “It’s only a sleep spell.”

“Why would you follow me to my lover’s home, watch me bed her, and then sneak into the still-occupied bed to read her diary?  Every conclusion a sane man would draw from your actions would offend you deeply.”

“Then don’t say it,” she said blandly.

“Why did you follow me?” Enver was staring at her with the intensity of a man who expected eye contact.

What a pointless question.  “To see where you were going.”

“Why did you enter the room?”

“Again, to see where you were going.  And then I was eavesdropping.  While I was doing that, the door was closed, thus trapping me within. To answer your next three very pointed questions.”

“You can’t convince me that you don’t have a dozen ways you could have escaped, Belladonna.”

She shifted her weight, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs, table pressing into the back of her thigh. “You only use the name you made up for me this often when you’re truly annoyed.  I didn’t know you would care.  You’ve seen me have sex several times.”

“Depending on the definition of the word, that may not be entirely true.  In my mind, sex involves at least two willing participants.”

“Yes, the con man and the dupe.”

Enver laughed quietly, giving up the facade of being angry with her.  Yes, he was irritated, but she’d noticed he very rarely was angry.  At least not with her.  He reached for the other wine-stained glass, poured from a pitcher of water into it, swirled it until the wine had all turned the water pink.  Then he dumped it out on the floor.  “Your standards of behavior are not at all normal, my dear Bhaalspawn, did you know that?”

“What exactly is wrong with wanting to know where people are going?”  she inquired, wondering why he thought it was all right to pour water on the floor.  Was that what he meant by behavior standards?

He poured her clean water into the glass and offered it over, stem tucked between his fingers.  She accepted it, dipping her finger into the liquid and wiping off the rim.  It still didn’t feel clean even despite the lack of smudges, so she just held it.

He leaned forward in his chair, staring up at her with a critical air and a relaxed posture. “Anyone else would have stopped me in the street, said hello, and asked where I was off to.”

“That would be a waste of the man I’d killed three alleys over,” she said, glancing down as he leaned a little closer, chin on his hand.  And then she immediately averted her eyes before she was upset again. 

“Do you do this often?”

“Yes?  I must practice what I preach, after all, or I would not be much of a leader.  Much like yourself.  Following and watching people is an important part of being a successful killer.”  

“I meant to me, not– why won’t you look at me?”

“Your hair is a mess and it makes me want to scalp you,” she admitted without even a moment’s pause to consider if she’d offend him.  By now she knew he wouldn’t be.  

“Thank you for your self-control.  I’ll fix it right away.  Hold this for me.”

Puzzled, she extended her hand by rote, and he dropped something into it as he rose.  Heavy and still warm from his finger, the massive diamond ring he’d handed her was the one she’d watched Wisteria slide onto his finger.  It was shiny and all, she supposed.

“Why give this to me?”

“I wanted to see your reaction to it,” he replied with another chuckle, crossing the floor to what seemed to be a dressing table and a desk in one.  “You don’t care about such things, do you?”

“I’ve seen larger and shinier stones.  I usually give them to Orin to play with if they’re not worthy of the coffers. Children like toys." Though Orin was always terribly ungrateful for it; but that was a youngest child for you. Always yelling about not being your sibling and trying to stab you.  "I don’t handle money, that’s beneath me.  You seemed quite enamored of it.”

“Not of it, my dearest Belladonna.  Of what it is.  That ring is worth more than this entire house!”  He sounded quite satisfied.  Gloating was one of Enver’s biggest vices, she’d learned.  It didn’t bother her to be his audience for a bit of smugness, as she was quite often when he was feeling self-important.

And he was always feeling self-important.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[australet789]

"Alastor is a villain because he chained poor Husk 🥺"

I think you all forget THIS is the Husk that made the deal with Alastor:

The Husk that was so careless and selfish that was gambling SOULS, to the point he gambled his own soul away to save his powers.

[kandismon]

totally lore-accurate swanqueen screencap redraws 4/∞

they're on their first date :3c

[scoriarose]

Baby that is not an enrichment activity

Baby... Baby no you... Child...

I know you like to play with crinkly things but...

Aaaand into the messenger bag she goes.

[ganondoodle]

did a little sketch yesterday that i really liked and tried to get it done today just so i got literally anything to post- but i fell into the trap of 'making sketches to elaborate and thus really stiff and non fun' (for me), ... soooooo .. im redoing the whole thing

but the idea was a mummy ganondorf for my (yes still existing) totk rewrite; i wanted to make him more scary looking and also emphasize just how horrid it must be to be kept in between life and death by having your heart grabbed by a cold and vengeful magical hand for thousands of years (in this case the ancient queen .. which i also tried to sketch despite not showing up aside from her dissolving hand)

the spell starting to fail and his body being more damaged in some parts (jaw being only the bones left for example) and his chest open from being slowly eaten up by the queens magic, the ribs contorting around it like its a gravitational pull- sounds cooler than it looks bc this sketch did not work out, so im saving the details for the .. hopefully, better version

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[vampirehizzies]

the cato to annie pipeline is still real to me btw and something i think about because katniss is here thinking about both of them like "wow they are mentally ill" except she's legitimately scared of one and sees the other as docile/meek/an extension of her boyfriend/odd/non-threatening.

but what katniss doesn't seem to remember is annie came from a career district so not only could annie have easily been (and probably was) raised with a similar rhetoric/propaganda/mindset as cato but she also could have terrified the other kids in her arena the same way he did. they became trained killers but they're both exposed to the harsh realities of the arena, watch someone they care about die in a horrifically violent way, and lose themselves/their minds/what they were raised to believe in because of it

[kibutsulove]

this 2 month old ref drawing of my design for ozai and iroh’s mom (fire lady ilah) that i never posted now that i think abt it

[deerest-deer]

lottie + hugs

[ribbononline]

Still trying to finish other things but in the meantime- updated design for my older May! She's an Ace Trainer

[little-mouse-adventures]

Currently thinking about Artemis's will in the code at the bottom of TLG and how it really kinda shows how strained his relationship with his dad still is. Everyone else gets something they're interested in or that Arty thinks they'd like (sound system for Juliet, frozen chicken for Mulch, ethical investments for his mother, etc) and yet for his father he leaves only bearer bonds, despite Artemis I trying to move away from a money-focused enterprise and lifestyle as of TEC. Not to mention it's Butler who would know how to disengage all the booby traps protecting said bearer bonds, further highlighting the difference in trust & familiarity Artemis has with everyone but his father.

[tubbytarchia]

I see so so many videos and comments and discussion from people including artists expressing grievance and cringing in one way or another at modern and performance art, and all I can think is damn. That sort of art is really goddamn effective when it gets this much publicity and attention from people trying to cope because it gets under their skin so easily and not realizing the irony

At this point there's no modern or performance art I don't respect (other than ones that cause harm to animals 😐) just for being able to so effortlessly get reactions out of people. Like the "who's afraid of yellow, red and blue" paintings that to most people look like solid boring colors, 'how in the world is that art?' and all that, and yet, fittingly for its name, it gets vandalized (and is also impossible to restore because no one can replicate the intricate technique of the author). Some things never change. Godspeed modern and performance artists

[teiasviago]

colin 🤝 anthony: making an heir in s3

[xxplastic-cubexx]

erik will genuinely jump at any chance he can to steal charles' last name and be so catty about it i know this for a fact WHAT is his deal

[Magneto (2011)]

[trappedinafantasy37]

Let's talk a little bit about Minthara and her oath real quick. Now, a question that I have seen pop-up in a few places between Reddit, Tiktok, and even Tumblr, is how the in the hells Minthara isn't already an oathbreaker. Well, I have 3 potential theories as to why that is.

Because it is merely a game mechanic and Larian did not want your only potential paladin to be an oathbreaker upon recruitment.

Her original oath to Lolth never broke because she never willingly joined the Absolute and her oath to the Absolute was made under false pretenses.

When she joins your group, she makes a new oath in your name instead.

Personally, I think that Minthara's oath is actually a mixture of 2 and 3. Yes, it is possible for a paladin to have multiple oaths at the same time. It just isn't a recommended practice in tabletop DnD because they can sometimes contradict each other, some oaths will straight up break other oaths, or the players just are unable to manage them properly. In this case, I do believe that Minthara has two oaths, one to Lolth and one to you.

I have not been able to find any reference to how paladin oaths work when the paladin is being coerced or mind controlled. But from what I have read in DnD lore, when a paladin makes an oath they have to do so willingly, deliberately, and consciously. None of those things occurred for Minthara when she took up her oath to the Absolute which is why it did not break her oath to Lolth (because it otherwise would have as she would have been sworn to destroy the Absolute for Lolth). And, technically speaking, the god that the oath is sworn to cannot go in and break the oath. Only the paladin can break their own oath. I only think gods can revoke divinity from their clerics. So, even if Lolth was truly pissed at Minthara, Lolth herself cannot just break Minthara's oath. That is something only Minthara can do. Minthara's original oath to Lolth still being intact is not necessarily indicative that she still has Lolth's favor, it just means she hasn't yet broken the terms of that oath. Even a crisis of faith (which Minthara is going through) won't break the paladin's oath either.

Another thing that is important to note is that as of 5e, a paladin actually does not need to make their oaths in the name of a god or before a god as their divinity is powered solely by the oath itself. Paladins are able to just summon divine smites and other holy based powers by sheer force of will and conviction (which is pretty damn sexy if you ask me). I mean, oathbreaker paladins still have access to divinity as well. Of course, paladins can still make an oath in the name of a god and most typically do, it's just that gods are not the source of power behind that oath. An oath is nothing but a vow, a promise that the paladin makes *to* a god, not the other way around. It does not even need that gods approval. So Lolth abandoning Minthara will also not break Minthara's oath either because Lolth is not the one who made an oath to Minthara.

So, it is very much possible that when Minthara joins your group, she does make a new oath in your name as oaths don't need gods. But, Minthara herself does not actually know how to live her life without having some kind of god figure so she just kinda puts you in that spot for the time being. I mean, she literally prayed to multiple gods and you were the one that answered. Which is also one of the many reasons why she does to along with what you want to do (even if she disagrees) because the oath she made to you would keep herself in check and keep her from acting against you. Minthara already is a very loyal person, but if you have any doubts on Minthara's loyalty, just keep in mind that she is quite literally oath bound to do whatever you tell her to do and will not betray you.

Minthara also never goes out of her way to become an oathbreaker, even after you free her from the Absolute. To be precise, you have to command her to break her oath. And of course, she will do so willingly knowing the consequences. Despite her oath being broken, she will still abide by the tenants of that oath. But she does enjoy the freedom that comes with being an oathbreaker and now nothing will hold her back from achieving her goals. However, she also says she does not know if her oath will still stand when all the nonsense with the Absolute is resolved and she even implies that if you do take the Absolute, she will no longer have an Oath of Vengeance, but an Oath of Conquest (which I think fits her better than vengeance if I'm being honest).

Minthara also makes quite a few suggestions to you that would actually break you oath if you are a paladin. Such as making an oath to Gortash, or making certain choices in regards to the vampire spawn. But, Minthara never does any of these things herself and I think that is purposeful. She knows these actions are oathbreaking type of actions. She attempts to orchestrate a fight between Dame Aylin and the wizard knowing fully well that it will break Aylin's oath. And she really wants you to go snitch on the wizard (although I just think it's because of her disdain for wizards rather than her being a little scoundrel to mess with Aylin's oath).

She is very very careful to keep herself in the position that she is because she doesn't want to be an oathbreaker initially. She is also very careful to tell you to do all these things. The language that she uses in regards to her oaths are also very important. Her original oath to Lolth would have her sworn to destroy the Absolute. But, we also know that Minthara very much has other ideas for the Absolute that do not involve destroying it (but oaths only break from oath breaking actions, not oath breaking thoughts). And her oath to you, she very specifically says that she is sworn to destroy all those who serve the Absolute, which is not exactly the same kind of oath she has with Lolth.

But, there is only one instance in this game in which Minthara will willingly become an oathbreaker and you do not have to command her to be one and that is if and only if you claim the brain. Her choosing not to destroy the brain when she had the opportunity to breaks her oath to Lolth. Now, the oath that she makes to you is where it becomes very very tricky. The oath she made to you, she specifically uses the language to "destroy all those who serve the Absolute". Her oath gets broken to you because she has become someone who serves the Absolute. But, there's more than that. If you become the Absolute, you also enthrall all your other companions which would make them servants of the Absolute and she also does not destroy them. Ironically, her choosing to serve you as the Absolute, breaks the oath she made to you because she has gone back on what she said she was going to do in your name. But most importantly, she chose not to get vengeance for herself.

Her oath to you was never to help you become the Absolute. Her oath was specifically to assist you with destroying the Absolute and all those who serve it. Her choosing not to destroy the Absolute and everyone who serves it, breaks both of her oaths. So, the Minthara that greets you at the gallows is now an oathbreaker. But, as I mentioned earlier, Minthara has already expressed the notion of taking up a completely different oath if you were to claim the Absolute. She helped you become the Absolute, knowing it was going to break her oath, and she had the intention of immediately replacing it with an Oath of Conquest, making her the first official paladin of the Absolute.

The fact that she wants you to become Absolute at all and that she prefers being an oathbreaker is why I read her as a canon oathbreaker. But she will never break her oath out of betrayal, but because of loyalty and devotion. She breaks her oath trying to make you as powerful as you can be. I have also discussed previously that her devotion is her fatal flaw and her choosing to remain devoted to you could potentially get her back in the same position you found her (that is if you betray her and choose to use the Absolute to reenthrall her). Her becoming solely devoted to you officially removes any and all ties she has to Lolth. But it causes Minthara to remain stagnant in which she doesn't learn anything, she doesn't change at all, and she doesn't grow.

She will live the rest of her life devoted to someone that isn't herself and act in the name of someone that isn't herself. She will live the rest of her life helping you achieve your goals and ambitions and what she wants is kinda secondary to all that because she has propped you up on a pedestal. She has always lived her life in service of a god and she does not know how not to. Many of the things that she has done in her life are not because she wanted to do them, but because she had the burden of expectations either from Lolth, from her family, or from Menzoberranzan culture and her oath kept her bound to these expectations. And she is falling back into that cycle with you because you failed to show her that there was another way and that she could be devoted to herself. You failed to show her that she does not need a god and she can indeed choose for herself.