#and yet my plans remain mostly the same lol

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! :3 it's my birthday ^^

[lullaebies]

HII your jaehaera x aegon iii has taken over my brain like OMGGG him & jaehaera >>>> but my request (if your still taking them) is how team green and black see how Aegon iii is infatuated/fixated/in love with Jaehaera. it's moments like Aegon talking to his brothers until he suddenly goes silent, his eyes tracking Jaehaera who's passing by. Or Jaehaera dancing with another man and his jealousy. No matter the situation the way he looks at her is the same. Gentle and tender but intense. Like I need this man to be a devout simp 😩🫡

a/n: thank you so much love!! they have genuinely took over my brain i'm so happy i'm not alone in this lmaoo. now i didn't really have time to write the past few days sadly (which is why other reqs are still pending - sorry guys!), but for this request i actually had something in my drafts that fit to it. i am writing a chaptered fic au for jaehaegon (...and jaehaerys/viserys ii lol) and i've been testing writing interactions for them to get the vibe i want... it changed a lot since then, but this was one of the test fics. i hope you will enjoy it! this is viserys ii pov, but there are lots of mentions to other characters.

It is deep into the night’s feast when he notices Aegon playing with the ruby ring upon his pinky. 

Well. Viserys supposes the more proper word is fiddle, though his brother is hardly a restless man. He is far more fitting into the description of rigid, filling the black of his doublets with broad shoulders of deliberate posture and a sense of responsibility.

Or at least so he had been, until their estranged family had come for a visit. Their uncle and aunt had come out of the woodworks that had been Oldtown to request to build a Keep to the west of it. That had been for their son, who had nothing to inherit, as it stands. Viserys’s mother had allowed them to make their case, his father had allowed them to see his smirks, but nothing yet had been set in stone.

It is an art, to convince those who never planned on being convinced. While Prince Aegon the Elder and Princess Helaena had been mostly unsuccessful in their endeavours, their daughter Jaehaera, had entered the court with prideful flare to her step and an ever-determined gaze. One could not say she had charmed his mother and father, but Viserys thinks they had hardly been the ones she had her mind on setting her claws in.

Instead, his own brother, usually so clear-headed and mindful, had his dark purple gaze almost unwaveringly on her. A genuine fool, he thinks. Viserys does not know what the witch has done to make him so dim-witted, but gods be good, she had known her plays. 

While her twin and younger brother had sat nearby him at the table for the better of the event, Jaehaera had entered the feast late, much after everyone’s introductions. The announcement of her arrival had music forced to a stop, setting the majority of eyes to the entrance. 

A lady pleasing on the eyes would steal a man’s thought, that is evident with his own brother, but a lady with strong enough wit would steal a man’s mind. And as music restarted with the appearance of her smile, and men flocked by her for a dance,  Aegon could not be more obvious he had not been at peace, drinking vintage he had prior declared abhorrent.

In truth, Aegon the Younger paralleled Aegon the Elder with the sudden swallow of drinks. And while his brother had been staunchly, unabashedly, moronically staring at Jaehaera, her father had been dead on Aegon the Younger himself, looking just about ready to toss his goblet at him. 

The atmosphere from her brothers hadn’t been much better. Sitting between Jaehaerys and Aegon the Younger, Viserys had felt a proper wall of separation. The man beside him may have known he needed to keep quiet if he wanted to get his damned Keep, but he had been looking at his brother with intense scrutiny for days now.

Little Maelor on the other hand had the gall to laugh while remaining within his mask of an innocent lamb. And when he next does, it is at the same time Viserys wishes to sink into his chair and disappear into it from embarrassment. 

Some golden-haired man had invited Jaehaera to a dance. Not an unexpected occurrence; dancing does happen in feasts. But while his brother had attempted to busy himself with playing with his food like a child, he lifted his head again when the dance ended - only to see said man holding onto Jaehaera’s gem earrings while speaking to her in proximity that is questionable — and there, his brother had to stand. Literally.

Jaehaera looked towards Aegon in the eye then, as everyone else did, but within capturing her gaze, his mouth had become voiceless despite it being opened ajar.

And he stood there uncomfortably, unable to even cuss the man whose offense he stood up against to begin with. As if he’s going to make a fucking toast, or something. I cannot believe this. Baela had told him and Jace alike that she thinks they may be ought to bind their brother to some post to prevent him from acting up. Jace, kind crown-prince he is, completely dismissed it, but now looking at him, he thinks he too just realized their sister had been right. 

Meanwhile mother looked properly frazzled herself, sharing a look with his father that had been so pointed, even King Consort Daemon himself realized he had to give a damn. “Continue the music,” his mother had told the musicians not far away from them, while father had gestured to Aegon to come his way, and now.

Whatever point words their father had decided to rebuke Aegon with, his brother had received them with properly flushed cheeks, should it be from the embarrassment, or the drinking, of whatever blood that didn’t manage to make it to his brain.

Aegon had soon left the table for the grand floor, finding himself some girl to dance with instead. A daughter of one of their loyal courtiers, he believes. Viserys releases a sigh of relief when he sees that. Perhaps now his blood pressure can calm. 

His cousin — Jaehaerys, that is — seems to release a lousy scoff. 

Viserys turns to him with a frown. “You have something to say?” 

Viserys will admit; he is defensive of his brother, as foolish as he may have acted these days. He would not hear giggles or scoffs at him. Jaehaerys, on his part, is unfazed, staring yet still on the floor, and at the dance that has partners swapping left and right. 

“There is little to say in this situation, no?” Jaehaerys answers. “Even little that can be done, or prevented, don’t you agree?”

Viserys doesn’t bother acting the fool, but his cousin better not either. “On your side, mayhaps,” he answers. “Your sister will lose you your Keep if this continues, you know this?” 

Jaehaerys eyes grow daggered, and he lowers his voice. “There isn’t going to be any damn Keep given from your parents, even if my own ones’ grovel,” he says cutthroat. Viserys stares at him. He knows well enough, huh? “Don’t assume me stupid. Nor should you assume my sister stupid. This had been a losing game since arrival, for the lot of my family… but she’ll cut her losses even in the most futile of dances.” 

When Viserys looks back at the dance floor, their siblings are dancing together. Viserys licks his lips. There is something there that can’t be prevented, perhaps, but also something that won’t quite be approved by all of their parents. What would it do, in the long run? Nothing. 

“And throwing herself at my brother would be cutting her losses?” he asks back, more sincere than he even planned on sounding. He even tries to pick his words carefully. “It would not do her good either, to end up seeming a… seductress.” 

Jaehaerys tsks. “No need to dance around it. I’ll say it as it is, fully and wholly — she has no plans on being your brother’s whore,” he brings a hand forward; the one with six fingers, and lays above the back of Viserys’s hand on the table. His fingers fill the spaces between his, the little extra pinky standing up purposefully. Viserys freezes for a moment, and nearly takes his hand back when Jaehaerys opens his mouth again. “It only takes one extra step to make honey from enticing, to trapping.” 

The extra finger curls against Viserys’s palm as Jaehaerys intertwined their fingers, squeezing lightly with a smile. Viserys swallows and only manages to remember to snatch away his hand when Jaehaerys’s chuckle comes along with the brush of his thumb against the side of his palm. 

What the fuck. He rises himself from his chair, needing some damn distance. Whatever the fuck his cousins have in mind, they live in their own world, as do their father and their mother. 

By the time he manages to absolve himself from the almost scorching feeling of Jaehaerys’s hand on his, the feast is over, and they all go their own ways, Viserys himself remaining rushing to his room.

The morning after, when he sees Jaehaerys’s face again, he has a look in his eye that is ever-knowing. And for a moment, he thinks in mortification it is all about him — but it is not.  It is only then, that he starts understanding what her brother truly meant the night prior.

Jaehaera is standing by her twin, smiling absentmindedly and fiddling with a ruby ring on her bony thumb, and his brother, his dear, foolish brother, stares at her with his bare fingers and doting eyes, ready only to give more.

[sirenfromthelostcity]

Snowed In Part 2 [Modern! Mizu x Reader]

Ngl y’all I was really touched by the amount of ppl asking for the proposal scene lol. I was a little worried that maybe the blurb was like too fluffy but I'm really glad you guys liked it, ya big softies lol (but same). This came out a little longer than i anticipated but i was just adding some stuff to add to your relationship and i reeaaalllyy hope you guys like it <3 Also I think i might do one more lil part just to involve the rest of the crew and their reaction to the news so stay tuned for that as well.

Part 1!

Although your anniversary dinner plans were ruined by the snow, it was impossible to remain upset. After all how could one be upset when they're being comfortably held in the arms of their lover watching one of your favorite shows together?

Admittedly you did suggest your bedroom when Mizu asked if you wanted watch something after dinner but she was rather insistent on making it a living room activity. So there you both were, laid together on a makeshift bed of various pillows and blankets in the middle of your living room floor. The lights were low, Mizu was warm and the snowfall was the perfect romantic backdrop.

"Y'know," you started, "this day did not go how we had planned at all but honestly I can't imagine a better way to spend our anniversary together," you contentedly sighed.

"That makes two of us," Mizu snuggled you closer and planted a kiss on your head. "But the night isn't over yet."

She gently moved to get up from her position and you pouted at her for ending your cuddling session.

"I'm getting up to get your gift," she laughed.

"Oh right! I'll go get yours too." you quickly paused your show as you both retreated for your gifts.

Once both you and Mizu retrieved your gifts you both returned to your makeshift bed and sat across from each other. Mizu decided to go first and handed you a large gift bag. Your eyes widened in both joy and surprise as you pull out a designer bag that you've been trying to acquire for a long time.

"Oh my God, Mizu! This is sold out everywhere how did you get this?"

"I know people," she smugly shrugged her shoulders.

"Akemi?"

"Actually believe it or not... Taigen."

"Taigen?! You worked together with Taigen for my gift?" you eyes widened again. Mizu and Taigen weren't enemies per say but they definitely very easily got on each other's nerves, however it was mostly banter. Mostly.

"Yeah despite him being Taigen, he can be quite useful sometimes and I know how long you've been hunting for this bag."

"Oh honey, thank you. I really appreciate it and I love it," you lean towards her to give her a gentle kiss before putting the purse back in the gift bag and setting it aside.

Excitedly you reached for your gift and handed it to Mizu. It was a smaller bag and the first thing Mizu pulled out from it was her favorite perfume.

"I was just running low on this, thank you babe," Mizu smiled at you but you informed her there was one more gift for her in the bag. She dug back in and pulled out a small rectangular red velvet box. Carefully she opened it and in it was a beautiful gold heart pendant. She was in awe of the craftsmanship. You prompted her to flip it to the back and engraved on the heart read the words "Forever Yours" with your initials right below it.

“You have my heart," you said to her. "Promise to keep it safe?”

“With my life,” she looked back up at you. “Baby I love it thank you so much,” she practically leaped over from her spot to envelope you in a hug.

“I’m glad you like it,” you chuckled into the crook of her neck.

When Mizu broke away she quickly went to put on the necklace but you insisted on aiding her. With one hand she held up her long hair and turned to allow you access to put on the necklace. Once it was on she went to observe it again, as if she couldn’t stop admiring it.

“Can you take me to where you had this made so I can make one for you too?” She asked, still looking at the pendant.

"Really?" you asked, your excitement shinning though.

“Yeah,” she smiled at you. “I have your heart and I want you to have mine.”

Overjoyed at her words, you leaned in and kissed her both softly and ardently.

“I’d really like that too. I can take you next week yeah?”

Mizu nodded and leaned back in to continue the kiss. Passion flowed within you both and the kiss became needier. This time you took the initiative and without breaking the kiss you gently pushed Mizu to lie on her back. Your free hand reached to cradle Mizu's face, effectively deepening the kiss. Mizu almost allowed herself to get lost in it but when she felt the small ring box poke at her hip she was brought back to her objective . Gently, she broke free from the kiss.

"Is everything okay?" you asked, slightly alarmed.

"Yeah I just... have to use the bathroom."

"Oh okay," you rolled onto the side to allow Mizu to get up. "I'll wait for you to come back to continue the show."

"Nah no need. Continue without me I'll be quick," Mizu reached for the remote and pressed play on your show before seemingly heading towards the bathroom connected to your room.

In actuality Mizu just wanted you distracted and not focused on how long she'd be gone. She had all her materials for the proposal packed in two of her gym bags but she wanted it all to look perfect and that could take some time.

After about 15 minutes you started to get a little worried and when you tried to enter your room to access the bathroom you realized your room door is locked.

"Hey babe are you okay?” you knocked at the door.

“Yeah! I’m almost out just looking for something," Mizu tried to sound casual but her tone definitely sounded a little panicked which did nothing to ease your composure.

“Do you need help looking for it?”

“No it’s okay! I’ll be out soon.”

You did have a spare key for your room in case you were ever accidentally locked out of it. The thought did occur to you to go get it but something to just give Mizu a little more time. After about 5 more minutes, she finally comes out of your room.

“Found what you’re looking for?”

Mizu nodded. "I have one more surprise for you," from behind she pulled out a black blindfold and immediately you're intrigued.

"Well if it involves that blindfold then I'm liking it already."

Mizu laughed at your response before extending her hand to help you stand up. Carefully she wrapped the blindfold over your eyes and guided you into your shared room. Immediately you're greeted with warmer temperature and the soft scent of roses. Slowly Mizu removed the blindfold.

Your room was lit with strategically placed candles and littered with red and pink rose petals. Placed purposefully on the bed was a box of your favorite chocolate and a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The scene was so intimate and warm. You even caught sight of a small fire extinguisher so you know Mizu really thought this out.

"Oh my god, Mizu this is..." the remainder of your sentence got stuck on your throat when you turned to thank Mizu and saw her propped on one knee holding out a box with a diamond ring.

Immediately your eyes began to tear up, overcome with the realization of what was happening. Instinctively your hand went to cover your mouth but a small overjoyed sob managed to escape from you.

"(Y/N)," Mizu started with glossy eyes as she too struggled to hold back her happy tears. "I have never loved anyone the way that I love you. For a long time I didn't even think this kind of love was actually real, until I met you. I love waking up to you every single day and I've learned to love and appreciate life more since you've allowed me to enter yours. You just make me so fucking happy," she sniffled. "I didn't think it was possible to be as happy and feel as safe with being happy as you've made me feel. Being with you made me feel like I was so easy to love and I want to dedicate the rest of my life ensuring you feel the same way. Will you allow me the greatest honor imaginable, will you marry me?"

"Yes of course I'll marry you!" you cried and wrapped your arms around her in a fervent embrace.

You both cried into each other, so full of love and absolute happiness. You pulled back from the hug and leaned in to share your first kiss as an engaged couple. It was a salty kiss as the tears are still fresh on both of your faces but neither of you cared.

You extended your left hand to Mizu and she happily slid the ring onto your finger.

“Perfect fit,” she smiled.

“It’s so pretty,” you admired the gem, it truly did cater to your taste. “Babe, it’s perfect you made such a good selection.”

“I like to think I know you well enough to pick out a ring you’d like, now I’m glad to know I’m right,” she lightly chuckled as she snaked a hand around your waist and snuggled you closer to her.

“We’re engaged now,” you mumbled as Mizu started planting kisses on your temple, the feeling of euphoria still coursing through you. “You’re my fiancé.”

“And soon you’ll be my wife,” she added, grasping your left hand in hers and tenderly rubbing at your ring finger. “Then we‘ll just have forever together.”

“Forever together,” you whispered as you leaned into the crook of her neck. “I love the sound of that.”

A/N: if the ending looks a lil weird font wise is bc I had to copy from my notes app bc I had previously wrote something and it didn’t save on the draft 🙃. Ngl I’m feeling a bit iffy about this but i really hope you guys enjoyed the read! 💗

Edit: I forgot to say but feel free to change what Mizu gifts you, like if you’re not into designer bags then ofc yeah just substitute what you want. It’s kinda hard to write what gift to get you bc ppl are diff like not everyone is gonna like the same thing 😂

[narryffdreaming]

A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — THREE

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART THREE: 6,9k words Author’s note: ngl I thought this was "too short", and then I saw it's around 7k and realized that maybe this isn't short, but the other parts are just "too long", lol. Clearly I can't control myself. But anyway, this is part three and Aurora and Harry (finally) arrive in Italy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

PART ONE || PART TWO

As it turns out, both Aurora and Harry completely forgot about the one hour time change, so whilst they thought they'd arrive around eleven, by the time they landed in Naples it was actually a few minutes after 12. 

They realized, then, that since they would go together to Amalfi, sharing a taxi would be cheaper than taking the train — like they had both initially planned to do. Which is how Aurora ends up leaning against a white wall at arrivals, watching their bags while Harry wanders around and does some research for them. 

Outside, the day is bright and sunny, something she's been admiring non-stop through the huge glass wall in front of her. Rays of light keep the exposed skin in her arms and chest warm, so there's no need for her to wear Harry's jacket anymore — although a part of her wishes she still had a reason to, just to keep smelling his cologne. 

"Hey!" Harry calls, and Aurora turns her head to the side. 

He approaches her confidently, pulling his hair back and smiling while strutting through the airport as if he owns the place. It's kind of impossible not to follow every one of his movements, and she's pretty sure anyone who lays their eyes on him would think exactly the same. 

"It's done," he says, then raises both hands and gives her a double thumbs up. "Got us a taxi." 

Summer looks good on him. It makes his skin glow, it highlights his tattoos, and it makes his happiness seem… Well… Even happier. 

"Oh," she says, blinking and stepping away from the wall. "Great."

She clears her throat and glances to her phone, double-checking for the fiftieth time that her texts to Zack remain unanswered.

It's been over four hours since she texted him, and although she isn't surprised by his lack of interaction, she can't deny that it sucks to know he intentionally avoids replying to her texts — and that she probably won't hear from him until Sunday night, when he drops Noah off.

"No words from him yet?" Harry asks, now standing only a couple of steps across from her. 

Aurora shakes her head and locks the screen, then looks up and faces him again. 

"No… But hey," she says, offering him a sarcastic smile and fake enthusiasm as she adds, "if I'm lucky enough, maybe he'll pick up the phone tonight. Isn't that great?"

Harry pauses for a moment. 

And then he snorts. 

He flicks his gaze down and breathes in, filling his chest with air while taking one hand up to his face and rubbing his brow. 

"Jesus Christ," he murmurs and chuckles shakily, almost as if he can't believe what he just heard. 

Aurora feels herself softening in front of him, and her fingers itch to touch him somehow.

"I mean, it's okay," she says, tightening her phone inside her fingers and closing her other hand into a fist. "I knew this would happen when I decided to spend the weekend away."

Harry drops his hand to his side and shakes his head, then looks at her again. 

Bright, sunny, warm summer seemed to turn into dark, cold, empty winter around him. He's clearly tense, and the look in his eyes is heavier now. 

"For his sake," he says, voice sounding just as deep as she feels him in her bones. "I really hope he doesn't cross my way anytime soon."

It's unbelievable how quickly Aurora's mouth fills with water. As if she's salivating because of him. 

The way he soaks up her worries and eases her sadness is certainly endearing, but the way Harry physically reacts to this specific situation gets her nerves stirring. He seems to be ready to stand up for her. Ready to fight the battle for her. Ready to be her armor and shield her from all and any attacks that Zack throws at her. 

And as much as Aurora doesn't want things to get to that point, and as much as she isn't looking for that kind of attention from a man, the honest truth is that her insides respond too quickly to his behavior. Like she's craving for that aggressiveness. Or maybe like she's craving for someone to finally treat her the way she wishes to be treated. Someone who will throw a punch for her, and not at her. 

Even just metaphorically speaking. 

Aurora blinks, breaking away from the intensity of his stare as she hunches down and grabs her bag from the floor. She takes the opportunity to swallow all those new feelings down, hiding and locking them away, then stands upright again.  

"I appreciate that," she says, curling her lips into a smile. "But we're in Italy right now, so I think I'm ready to leave Zack behind. At least for two days."

Harry focuses on her for a moment, flickering his eyes all over her face. Studying her. Almost like he's making sure she is telling him the truth. 

She tilts her chin down and lifts her left eyebrow, and Harry meets her stare once again. 

"You're right," he says, and closes his eyes. "Gimme a minute."

Taking all the time of the world, Harry breathes in deeply through his nose. When his chest is full, he freezes for a moment, and then lets all the air slip out through his mouth. Loudly and heavily. 

It's a little bit dramatic. A little bit over the top. A little bit exaggerated. But Aurora can tell that he's intentionally forcing his movements. That he's getting on board with her and leaving things behind. And that he's making a big deal out of it because it's supposed to be a symbolic moment between them. Like drawing an imaginary line and setting a before and after for that trip. 

Especially when he rolls his shoulders, tilts his head side to side vehemently, and then drops all the weight off his body. 

"Ok," he says, opening his eyes while clasping his hands together and smiling at her. "I'm good!"

He leans down to grab his bag, too, and a foolish grin grows on Aurora's face. 

"As I was saying," he adds, placing the strap on his shoulder as he looks at her again, "I got us a taxi. It's supposed to be just an hour and a half drive, but they said it can take us at least two hours to get there."

Meaning they will get there around what… 2:30? 3?

Aurora pouts. 

"That sucks. Lucy had this whole thing planned in the morning."

"I know. But we'll make the best of it, anyway."

"Yeah…" 

She puts her phone inside the front pocket of her bag, then looks around the airport. 

They're still inside the crowded terminal, and it's safe to say that she has no idea where she's supposed to go next. She's been following Harry's steps since they landed — or maybe even since they took off — and she isn't actually interested in taking the lead right now. 

"So… Where should we go, then? Can we get this taxi now or…"

"Mhm… Yes… We sure can…" Harry nods. "But first… There's something I have to tell you."

Aurora's face falls, and she drops her shoulders.

"Oh God… What?"

"It's nothing bad… At least I don't think so, but…"

Harry scratches his jaw and shrugs, then smiles sheepishly at her.

(Which, to be honest, does nothing to reassure her.) 

She rearranges the bag on her shoulder with one hand, and encourages him to speak with the other, rolling her fingers in the air. 

"But…?"

"Well… I might've lied a bit to the guy from the taxi company."

"Okay…" She narrows her eyes. "Why? What did you say to him?"

"That we just… Y'know… Got married?"

Aurora drops her jaw.

"Married?!"

Harry chuckles.

"Mhmm..." 

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah…" 

His face is bright with amusement, and even though Aurora can't understand what's so funny behind that joke, she can't help but mimic his emotion.

"Harry!" She laughs. "Why would you even say that?!"

"Because he gave me this whole speech, ok? About how he couldn't get us a car 'till five, and how we should've booked one at least one day before and… Well. Y'know…"

He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at the lecture he got because of their poor planning skills, but the joy is still there. All over him. Radiating from his entire presence. Blooming into her.

"I see." Aurora nods, pursing her lips as she mulls over his words. "And us being married changes that because…"

He pulls his eyebrows together, as if the answer is the most obvious thing and he can't believe she's even asking that. "Because we eloped, duh. So of course we didn't have any time to plan or book anything."

"Oh my God." 

Aurora laughs. 

"So I guess this is our honeymoon now."

"You're insane."

"Hey, it worked, ok?" He raises the palms of his hands to her, then smirks, all proud of himself. "We didn't have a taxi, now we have one. So… You're welcome." 

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms on her chest, but the smile never falters from her face. 

"Fine. Whatever. Anything else I should be aware of about this lie?"

Harry takes a moment to think about it, hiding his hands inside his pockets and then shrugging. 

"Nah… Don't think so." 

"Good."

"Only that you're madly in love with me and couldn't wait to be my wife." 

"Right."

"But that's pretty obvious."

"No, yeah. Of course." 

"You also can't wait to get our honeymoon started, by the way."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. So you're kind of desperate to get to our hotel."

Aurora snorts. "Okay then."

"Apparently," he says, stepping closer and nudging her side with his elbow, "you just can't get your hands off me."

She cackles, then, and shoves him off with one hand. "You wish!" 

The small joke rolls easily and happily from her mouth. Mostly because she's determined to not ruin things all over again, but also because he brings that side out of her. 

And Harry laughs, too.

"Hey," he says, shrugging and tilting his chin up, "a man can only hope."

"You're ridiculous."

"I mean, it gets you laughing so… Yeah. I'll take it." 

She shakes her head, finding herself out of words. Even if she knows they're both just teasing around and that she doesn't need to worry about him misinterpreting her, there's only so much she can joke at once. 

Unlike Harry, of course, who apparently can roll lie after lie out of his mouth. 

"Ok, c'mon," he says, tilting his head and leading their way from arrivals to outside the airport. "They said there'll be a car waiting for us."

Aurora follows him in silence, and then she clears her throat. 

"So, you really told them we got married?"

He smiles, and nods. "Yes."

"And they really think we're going to a hotel?"

"Mhmm." He looks at her over his shoulder and shrugs. "I didn't want to get into the whole yacht thing… Seemed too much trouble to explain."

"Right." She smirks, and raises her eyebrows. "But creating a lie about our marriage was easy-peasy, right?" 

Harry purses his lips, clearly trying to hold himself back. 

"I mean… Yeah. Had the whole story on the tip of my tongue." 

They both look at each other for a moment, and then they both laugh. 

See? That's the good thing about Harry: he makes Aurora laugh. 

And he makes her laugh a lot.

Which isn't exactly news, because he always made her laugh, but still feels nice to remember. 

Back in the day, the way Harry and Niall lived their lives used to be one of the reasons why she liked to hang out with them so much — they didn't have too many worries in the world, and they only cared about having fun. So whilst most people around her were planning for their futures and preoccupied about having everything figured out, they made her laugh about the most silly and random things, offering her a break from the pressures and expectations of adult life.

Of course, their lifestyle wasn't one that she could keep up with all the time, and at certain moments their behavior used to resemble childishness, but they definitely were good and fun people to keep around. 

So much so that here's where they are right now. 

"C'mere, wifey," Harry says, stepping out to the sunny day and pulling her to his side by her shoulders. "Time to give our driver a show." 

She grimaces, then places her arm around his waist.

"Okay," she says, narrowing her eyes and adjusting her sight to the warm and natural brightness, "rule number one, you're not calling me wifey."

Harry squeezes her shoulder and laughs, throwing his head back and slowing their pace down. 

"Right. Ok." He nods. "What should I call you, then?"

"What about… Nothing?"

"Oh c'mon! You're my wife now. We need to play the part." He guides her smoothly down the sidewalk, dodging strangers and skipping through a long line of white cars. "Does honey sound better? Or what about apple of my eye, huh? Cupcake? Pumpkin?" 

She chuckles. "Harry—" 

"Buttercup?"

"Stop."

"Kitten?" 

"Ew, no—"

"Other half? Or what about…" He leans closer to her ear, then covers his voice with sweetness and cheesiness as he annoyingly murmurs, "My lovey-dovey?"

At that, Aurora cackles. 

"Oh God," she laughs, squirming and shoving him off. "Stop. No nicknames for you." 

"Ahhh, why?" He pulls her closer again, exuding pure joy and happiness as he speaks. "Nicknames are fun. I can be your honey bunny if you want me to."

"Absolutely not."

"Honey boo?"

"Nope."

"Lover boy, then."

"C'mon… You can't seriously—" 

"Man of your dreams?"

Aurora snorts, but before she can say anything, Harry speaks again.

"Prince charming? Jellybean?"

"Harry, c'mon—" 

"Hot stuff?" 

"Stop!" 

"Babylicious?"

And then she laughs again. Probably way louder than she should. Leaning into him and covering her face as she struggles to keep up with his feet. 

"Oh my God! You're just so annoying. I can't even—" 

"Mr. and Mrs. Styles?" a thick italian accent calls, and they both stop walking.

Aurora is still laughing, trying to catch her breath while she turns her head to the side. A gray-haired man dressed in a black suit steps away from a black car and walks forward, holding a polite smile and gentle expression as he approaches them with nothing but determination. 

Harry squeezes her shoulder and leans in, getting closer to her ear.

"If you ask me," he murmurs, and the tone of his voice is suddenly so low that it becomes almost painful, "that should be the one. Mrs. Styles."

A shiver runs down her body, and she swallows. 

"Scusi," the man says, thankfully sparing her from having to find any responses or reactions. "Signor e signora Styles?"

"Giusto!" Harry says, squeezing her shoulder and chuckling as he straightens his posture and pulls her closer to his side. "Signor e signora Styles. Sì."

"Piacere! Come stai?" The man stretches his arm, and Harry takes a step forward, shaking hands with him. "Sono Francesco, il tuo tassista."

"Francesco!" Harry smiles. "Buongiorno! Mi chiamo Harry e questa—" He squeezes her again, making a deal out of it as he kisses the top of her head. "È mia moglie, Aurora."

Aurora bites her lip, watching in silence as the man turns to her and stretches his arm once again. 

"Aurora. Piacere. Un nome bellissimo." 

"Uh…" 

Truth be told, she has absolutely no idea what's going on, or what they are talking about. So she chuckles nervously, but makes sure to shake his hand anyway. 

"I don't…" She says, tilting her chin up and glancing at Harry. "Sorry. I don't speak Italian." 

Harry's expression softens, and the playfulness in his face turns into pure tenderness. 

"Oh. No problem," the man says, the Italian accent still thick as he communicates in a different language. Aurora faces him again, and he adds, "Aurora, sì? Beautiful name." 

"Oh." She smiles, cheeks getting slightly warm. "Uhm… Gra… Grazie?"

She turns to Harry, again.

"That's thank you, right?"

Still staring at her, Harry smiles, then nods.

Aurora looks back at the man. 

"Grazie," she repeats.

"Non c'è di che! Andiamo, sì?"

Aurora tilts her chin up, looking at Harry and waiting for him to take over the conversation. 

He shakes his head, then, and turns his attention back to the man. "Sì. Andiamo. Sì."

The man chuckles. "Sposi novelli, eh?"

"Mhm." 

"Congratulazioni! Lo immaginavo. So riconoscere lo sguardo di un uomo innamorato." 

Harry chuckles and looks down, then scratches his jaw with his free hand and clears his throat. "Così ovvio, eh?"

Aurora doesn't know if it's possible, but she feels her own eyes twinkling as she tilts her chin up and lands her gaze on Harry one more time. 

He beams under the gorgeous sunshine, eyes greener than she's ever seen and cheeks flushed as he engages into a conversation with that man. Not only rolling Italian words out of his mouth, but also effortlessly putting them into sentences. 

And she's so hypnotized by the whole thing, that she can't even be bothered by the fact that she's not being included or doesn't understand a single thing. She'll gladly let him take the reins for the entire drive as long as she gets to entertain herself with that view.

"Auri?"

Harry squeezes her shoulder, and Aurora blinks. She darts her eyes away from his face, swallowing while he steps towards the car and slides his arm off her shoulders. 

"Shall we?" he asks, reaching for the strap on her shoulder. 

Aurora is too starstruck to fight him, so she nods and lets him grab her duffel bag, then follows him with her eyes as he and the gray-haired-suited-man place it in the trunk, along with his. 

And from then on, Harry plays his part like a true gentleman. 

Their driver starts by opening the backseat door for them, but then Harry offers his hand for her to hold and get in first, kissing her temple when she walks past him. She chuckles, but only because of the effort he's putting on just to cover his own lie. 

Once they're both inside, he doesn't complain about taking the middle seat when she chooses the window, and even makes sure she's comfortable and has her belt on. 

"Possiamo andare?" the gray-haired-suited-man asks.

Harry peeks at her. "Good to go?" 

"Mhmmm..." 

He nods, then puts his belt on while answering their driver. "Sì, grazie." 

The engine starts working, and they're officially on the move to the Amalfi Coast. 

"Can I?" Harry whispers to her, hovering her hand with one of his. 

"Oh…" Aurora looks at his inked forearm, reaching for her while he keeps his elbow tucked to his side. To be fair, after sobbing into his chest and sleeping on him like a koala, she truly doesn't think holding hands would be awkward at all right now. So she nods and turns her palm around, offering it to him. "Yeah, sure."

And when he places his palm on top of hers and intertwines their fingers, she can actually see herself benefiting from his lie — because Harry's warmth keeps her warmth, as well. Just like she needs to be. Just like she wants to be. 

"Credo che Amalfi ti piacerà moltissimo," the man says. "È perfetto per gli innamorati!"

Harry chuckles and scooches down, comfortably spreading his long legs open and pulling their hands to rest on his thigh. "Grazie. È la nostra prima volta in Italia."

"Per quanto starai qui?"

"Solo due giorni. Domenica torniamo a casa."

Aurora is lost in the conversation, but she's also… Physically uncomfortable. Her arm is tense as she stretches it to lay on his leg, and she doesn't want to spend two hours like that. So she shuffles closer, tucking her elbow under his own and fully linking their arms. 

"Bene, dovrai tornare un'altra volta per visitare più città," the man says.

Harry sits upright again, then slips his fingers off from her hand.

"Di sicuro," he says, lifting his arm and placing it across her shoulders. "Forse la prossima estate."

He takes his other hand to her palm, then, and intertwines their fingers once again. 

It's like they need a moment to get comfortable and find a position that suits both of them, but eventually they get there. With Aurora melting onto his side and him brushing patterns on the skin of her arm. 

The man nods and smiles, but says nothing, and silence finally settles in the car.

Until Aurora takes that as an opportunity to speak again. 

"So…" she starts, watching their touching hands. "Did I miss something important from your private conversation?"

He freezes next to her. Stiffening his muscles and stopping the movements of his hand on her arm. 

"Shit. I didn't even… Sorry." He spreads his hand open on her shoulder, and squeezes her gently. "We were just chit chatting about the city, that's all. But I'll keep in mind to translate now, yeah? Sorry." 

"It's fine." She smiles, appreciating the sentiment. 

To be honest, she doesn't really care. She wishes she had prepared herself a little bit better for a new country and a new language, that's for sure, but at least she's with Harry now. It will be a lesson learned for the next time — if there ever is one. 

"When did you learn how to speak Italian, anyway?" 

A smile grows on his face, and he tilts his head to lean it on top of hers. 

"I don't know." He shrugs slightly, resuming the brushing of his fingers on her arm. "My mum… I learned from her, that's all."

Aurora frowns. "Is she Italian?"

"Uh… No, she… I mean, my grandfather was."

"Ohhh… Didn't know that. So you've always spoken Italian?"

"I guess? I don't know. I just can find my way around it… That's all."

Aurora hums, and turns to look through the window, admiring the view of a country she's never been to before. 

And then she shrugs, making sure she sounds teasingly when she says, "Well… Now that you've brought up your mum, then I guess it'll be inappropriate to mention how incredibly hot and sexy you sound when you speak Italian, right?"

Harry chokes. 

He literally chokes. Straightening up and coughing while letting her hand go to smack his palm on his chest. 

Aurora sits upright as well, holding back a smile as she tries to catch a glimpse of his face and murmurs questions like "what's wrong?" and "are you okay?". 

The driver says something, too, and Harry shakes his head, raising his free hand waving a finger at him.

"I'm…" He coughs again, and brings his hand to his throat. "Sto bene—" (cough) "Grazie."

"Ugh, see?" Aurora murmurs, leaning against the backseat and grabbing his hand on her shoulder, making sure he doesn't pull his arm away. "Told you. Incredibly sexy."

Cough. Cough. Cough.

Cough.

"Shit."

Cough.

Cough.

Cough.

Aurora giggles.

Yep. That's actually pretty fun.

They park at what first seems a dead-end street, but in reality it continues turning right and going up the hill. 

Aurora gets out of the car slowly, feeling the hardness of the concrete under her feet as she straightens her back and tips her neck back. The sun is shining, and she rests the side of her hand on top of her eyes, blocking out the brightness and taking in the view — the hills, the rocks, the shades of green, the colorful houses and buildings. 

She places her free hand against her breastbone, and slowly releases the air inside of her lungs. She doesn't want that surreal feeling to end, so she stands frozen in the spot for another moment, or two. 

She's heard about people going through moments when all their concerns and worries fall away, but it has never been a first hand experience of hers. Not until that day, at least. 

The closest she can imagine to that feeling was the moment she finally physically met Noah, the exact second his tiny crying body was placed between her arms. That didn't last too long, though, with her body hurting and the exhaustion taking over every inch of her — both emotionally and physically.

Earlier that day, when she woke up  snuggled into Harry's arms, she also experienced something very similar to that — the same sense of calm and peace. Then again, it also didn't last too long, since she knew she was overstepping and had to pull herself from his embrace. 

(Besides, to be fair, she isn't sure if it's the same thing, or if she's just really confused right now.) 

Still, there she is right now, standing in an unknown city, where she doesn't know anyone and can't even speak the language, feeling as if all of her concerns and worries have fallen away. It's pretty similar to those other two occasions, only this time the feeling doesn't seem to be going anywhere. 

It feels as if it's settled to stay.

The trunk of the car slams shut, and Aurora turns on her feet. 

On the other side of the taxi, Harry chats excitedly with their driver. And behind them, opposite from the city, is the ocean. 

It's a little after three in the afternoon, and they are finally at Marina Coppola, the port of Amalfi. 

The gray-haired-suited-man looks at her and nods, saying things she can't even try to understand. The only words she somehow recognizes are "amore", and "buona giornata", but still, she isn't sure she really knows what they're supposed to mean. 

So Aurora simply smiles, watching as Harry does — once again — all the talking for both of them. 

"Grazie!" he says, clasping one hand on the man's shoulder and firmly shaking his hand. "Anche a te!"

The driver raises one hand at her, and she lifts one hand, too, waving and blinking slowly as he gets inside the car. 

Harry moves to the sidewalk with both duffel bags, and Aurora waits for the man to drive away before getting closer to him.

And then she reaches for her bag, but Harry dodges her and taps her hand away.

"Nuh-uh, Mrs. Styles."

Aurora's cheeks warm up, and she rolls her eyes. 

During their ride, their driver referred to her as Mrs. Styles more than a few times. He'd ask questions about the view, or chit chat about the weather and ask her opinion about it. And Harry, of course, would be the one to always translate the questions, making sure to not only include Mrs. Styles, but also emphasize it. 

"Well… Marriage is over, so…" 

She shrugs and smiles, but maybe her joke hits a little too close to her heart, because she doesn't feel like fighting him anymore. Instead, she allows her curious eyes to shift around and capture as many details as she can. 

It is nice to see the ocean again. Long, wide, far-reaching. She's also seen a restaurant at the marina's entrance, and although the street is filled with cars, there aren't many people walking. 

She remembers Lucy explaining in their group chat how they chose a weekend in May exactly because of that — because it wouldn't be so filled with tourists, but the weather would still be perfect for a swim. Aurora can't deny she'd been scared of rain ruining their plans, but the sun is, in fact, shining with no signs of any clouds around — which is probably also helpful to set that magic scenario around them. 

And as Aurora admires the postcard worthy sight, it dawns on her that Amalfi looks exactly as she has seen in pictures. Maybe the colors aren't as bright and intense as Instagram usually made it seem, but it is still colorful. Still captivating, still mesmerizing. 

Being there, she can actually smell the fresh water, the fish, and the sunscreen. She can also feel the prickle of sunburn on her arms, and the wind pulling at her dress and her hair. She can even actually hear the small waves, the boats motoring past on their way to water, and the laughter and excitement of people at the docks.

The atmosphere is real, and yet still impossible to describe. It fills her with life, with hopes, and with dreams. 

It is… Surreal. 

Magical. 

"This is unbelievable," she finally murmurs. Her voice is soft and delicate, though — as if she doesn't want to break the spell surrounding them. 

"I know," Harry says, mimicking her tone. "'S really beautiful, innit?"

She turns her head to look at him, and finds him watching the hills across from them, the same ones she was watching just minutes before. She can see him furrowing his brows under his sunglasses, his head moving from one side to the other. 

"Yeah," Aurora breathes out. 

Harry is beautiful. The daylight makes his skin look tanner, and the wind messes with his hair, too —  although he doesn't seem to mind. And the facial hair glows on his face, somehow screaming at her how grownup he is. Somehow turning into a reminder of how good he took care of her, of how good he made her feel. 

Shit. 

She swallows, and faces the port again.

Can she still blame these thoughts on her lack of sleep?

Maybe she's being delusional. Maybe she is still so confused that she doesn't know what is reality or dreaming anymore. Or maybe she's spent so much time without interacting with any men that she doesn't know what's friendly or not anymore. Maybe she's mixing things up. Maybe Harry has just been protective of her. Like Theo and Niall are. 

Shit.

The wind pulls her hair to her face, and she takes her arms to put her locks into an improvised knot.

Hundreds of various-sized boats are lined up along the docks, and they are all so different from each other that she realizes she's never stopped to think about their different names. 

Are they boats? Are they all yachts? Is there even a difference? And what would that difference be?

"So…" she says, pausing to clear out her throat and rub the tip of her nose. "A ferry is one of those that you can get into with your car, right?"

Harry glances over his shoulder, watching her silently for a moment. 

She can feel his eyes on her face, but she resists the temptation of looking at him. 

And then he nods and turns around, standing next to her and facing the ocean as well. "Yeah… Have you ever been in one?"

Aurora shakes her head. 

"No… I remember from the movie 'How to lose a guy in ten days'. Have you seen it?"

He turns his head and stares at her in silence once again, until a loud laugh erupts from him.

She turns her head, too, and tilts her chin up, looking at him. 

"What?" she asks, lifting her left eyebrow. 

"Sorry… It's just…" 

He shakes his head and scratches his jaw, waiting until calming down before explaining himself. 

"Oh God… You made me watch that movie soooo many times," he says, voice filled with amusement while he tilts his neck back and looks at the sky. 

Aurora keeps her eyes on his shoulder, focusing on the flamingos in his shirt.  

"I did?" She frowns. "I don't—When?"

"Movie nights at your place, remember?" He pulls his hair back, smiling at her, and then at the horizon. "We used to do them once a week for a month or two. Usually everyone fell asleep and we were the only ones awake. Somehow, you'd end up always making tea and putting that DVD on." 

He shrugs, as if recalling that memory it's just the most common thing in the world. 

To Aurora, though, it isn't. 

"Wow…" She blinks, staring at the port again. "I can't… I honestly can't believe how many things you remember and I don't."

"Oh, it's okay, we were—"

"No, it's not. It makes me feel like shit."

"Auri—"

"You know I really like you, right?" she asks, focusing on the way the waves crash against one specific boat. "It's not you… I mean, I don't remember so many things, it's like I blocked stuff from my memory, but it's not because they didn't mean anything to me… I promise. I've always enjoyed our friendship, I just—"

Harry places his hand on her shoulder, and Aurora twists her neck to look at him.

"C'mon…" His sunglasses are on the top of his head now, pulling his hair back, and he stares firmly into her eyes. "I don't expect you to remember the same things I do, ok? We're fine. Everything's good. You don't need to be so tense about everything you do or say. Not around me, at least. Ok?" 

"Okay…" She nods once, then twice. And then she shakes her head. "Yeah, okay. Yeah."

"Okay," he repeats, a smile forming on his lips and his hand slipping away from her shoulder. 

Aurora can still feel his fingertips burning on her skin, though, and it dawns on her that, after spending the entire drive holding his hand and relaxing under his arm, now it's weird to not be able to just… Touch him again. 

"And just so you know," he adds. "I've been on a ferry. A couple of times, actually."

Aurora gasps, then grins at him, gladly accepting the change of subject. 

She asks when, and where, and why, and Harry chuckles. He answers while putting his sunglasses back on, then keeps the conversation going as he leads the way to the docks and to their friends. 

And they walk together, of course. All the time. 

There's a white arch they have to get through, and Harry raises his arm, gesturing for her to go first. She smiles shyly, looking at him over her shoulder as she steps onto the aluminum gangway. 

She walks across what looks like a green carpet before getting to the actual dock — a narrow wooden path stretched out into the water and leading to all different yachts — and then they are walking side by side again.

Always side by side.

Even when they have to dodge people on the way, some simply standing and chatting, some prepping their boats for sailing, some just returning to land. 

Then it gets to a point where all Aurora can see are bare masts reaching into the sky, birds flying, and ropes around their feet. 

They turn left on the dock, and sweat trickles over the back of her neck, just like her inner thighs sting from brushing against each other. She sighs and scratches the tip of her nose, listening to Harry as he chats about how he stopped eating meat a while ago, but was willing to eat fish again during the weekend.

Aurora nods at him, and then the growl of an engine starting up makes her jolt and gasp. She widens her eyes and takes her hand to her chest, and Harry chuckles next to her. 

She rolls her eyes and relaxes, smiling as she pokes his side with her elbow. "Shut up…"

He nods, pursing his lips and stopping himself from laughing even more. 

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Styles." 

"Ughhh. I won't be hearing the end of this anytime soon, will I?"

"See? That's why I married you. You know me too well."

She snorts, and then Harry slows down walking. 

"Ok, all jokes aside now. Aurora Fletcher, are you ready to have some fun?" 

Aurora smiles. 

To be fair, she's been having fun for a while now, but her body still sparkles with excitement at his words. So she moves her head quickly in agreement, just to make sure Harry can see it. "Yes, please."

"Good, because if my eyes aren't messing with me," he says, raising his arm to point out ahead of them, "I think those up there are our friends…"

Aurora looks up, tilting her chin and squinting her eyes when the sun strikes right into her line of view. Like she did before, she places the side of her hand against her eyebrows, blocking the brightness and blinking to focus where Harry seems to be pointing at.

When she recognizes the silhouette of some of their friends, she realizes they aren't just on a yacht — they are standing at the top floor of a massive, luxurious yacht. 

Aurora's mouth falls open, her eyes seem to bulge out of her face, and her body freezes. 

"What the hell?" she murmurs. 

Or, in other words, what the hell were Lucy and Theo thinking?! 

"Now I see what Niall meant about it blowing my mind," Harry says next to her. "Fuck yeah, this is gonna be great! C'mon." 

His joyful and energetic voice is enough to wake Aurora up from the half-conscious state she's fallen into, but he still puts his hand in between her shoulder blades and pushes her slightly, encouraging her to move along with him. 

"They're waiting for us, yeah? It's gonna be fun, but if it gets too much let me know and we'll just take a break from everyone."

Aurora blinks.

"I don't… I don't know if I'll be able to," she blurts out, not moving her feet from the spot. 

Her eyes are still wide open, but she darts them up to stare at Harry. 

He pulls his sunglasses back to the top of his head and takes two steps closer, standing right in front of her and letting their bags fall to his feet. His figure is tall enough to block the movements ahead from her view, allowing Aurora to focus on him, and only him. 

"I mean—" She shakes her head, organizing her thoughts. "I don't know if I'll be brave enough to ask for help."

Harry nods, and a wave of understanding engulfs Aurora's body. She drops her shoulders, and her eyebrows, then lets a long breath out of her nose.

"Maybe we could come up with a sign then, yeah?" He puts his hands right above her elbows, then gently moves them up and down. Rubbing her upper arms and soothing her down. 

"A sign?"

"Mhm. Just, y'know, something to let each other know we could use some company? For both of us… Maybe I'll need it, too."

Aurora chuckles and rubs her forehead, knowing damn well he won't need it. 

Still, she nods. 

"Maybe, okay… Yeah."

"Good. Any suggestions?"

"Hmmm… I don't know. Pinching the tip of the nose?" 

"No, nuh-uh." Harry shakes his head. "You already do that a lot."

Aurora frowns. "No I don't."

"Trust me, you do." Harry tightens his fingers around her arms, then loosens them up. "Scratching our jaws? I mean, your jaw… You scratch yours, I scratch mine…" 

Aurora purses her lips, and his own mouth twitches in amusement. 

"You know what I mean…"

"Yeah…" Her eyes wander around his face for a moment, and she sighs. "But no, because that's something you already do a lot."

Harry turns the corner of his mouth into a smirk, and Aurora squeezes her hands into fists to stop herself from poking the dimple on his cheek. 

"I do?"

She shrugs. "Mhm." 

"If you say so…" 

He stays put inside her eyes, capturing her inside a mesmerizing green spell and forcing her to just wait there. Powerless and helpless. With no other option but to stare back at him.

Letting time go by — letting time run by. 

As if they weren't already late. 

As if they weren't the last ones to arrive.

As if they didn't have a massive, overpriced yacht waiting for them. 

"What about our ears, then?" he offers, his voice huskier and somehow slower. 

Aurora swallows. And her stomach flutters just as much as her chest tightens. 

"Y'know," he adds, then takes a step closer. "You tug yours, I tug mine…"

He moves one hand, letting go of her arm as he drifts it to her face. 

He touches her cheek first, breezily, then slides to her ear, brushing her skin in the process and making it tingle. 

Aurora holds her breath, and as she stares at him, she feels her earlobe being touched by two of his fingers. 

She closes her eyes for a moment, and when she opens them again, she drifts her sight to his mouth. Unconsciously and unintentionally. 

Harry slides his tongue between his lips, getting them wet before he turns them into a smirk.

"Like this," he murmurs, then gives her ear a little tug. 

Shit.

Aurora looks back at him.

Everything he's doing right now feels soft, intentional, and… Extremely and weirdly right. 

There's a feeling deep down her stomach that she's unable to name. Maybe a flush, maybe a tingle, or maybe a throb. Or maybe all of them.

She can't describe it, she can't understand it. 

She can't name it.

But it's there, and it's doing things to her. Things she hasn't felt in a very long time.

"Hm? What do you say?" he asks, so softly it almost makes her whine.

Her heart picks up, and she doesn't think she'll be strong enough to move away from his touch. Not then, not ever again. 

"Okay," she whispers. "Yes."

His smirk turns into a smile, and he leans in, pressing his lips firmly against her forehead. 

It only lasts a second, and then Harry pulls away from her and hunches down to pick up their bags. 

W—What? 

Why…

Aurora blinks at him. 

Why did he stop?

Why did he move away? 

"It's settled, then," Harry says. "C'mon, let's get this party started."

Hiii :)

I thought about adding some more scenes here, but tbh I feel like these two should be together and get all the attention, so this is where part 3 officially ends. Next part it's a long one and includes meeting all of their friends, so I hope you've enjoyed their last moments by themselves hehe 🤭

Thanks for reading!

Dani

(if you've made it here, pls talk to me and say Francesco lol)

--

PART FOUR (I)

[missmonsters2]

Request: Hi I'll need ❤️‍🩹 for Wednesday. I need it to be angsty as hell but you can make it a happy ending if you'd like. Thank you @mindingmybidness12

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC

Warnings: angst. reunion. alluded secret relationship. wednesday is very mean :') no hea

Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Note: hey are you okay 😧 (sorry i accidentally posted your ask too soon & needed to get creative LOL)

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Destined to be alone—that's what Goody told Wednesday. 

"Isn't it so exciting!" Enid squeals loudly at the table, causing Wednesday to wince at the happiness in her roommate's tone. "Oh, there she is!"

Wednesday knows she shouldn't look. She should keep her head straight down—better yet, she should leave. 

"Wednesday, where are you going?" Enid asks, but her roommate has already stood up and walked off. 

There's a briskness in Wednesday's walk even if she doesn't know where to go. 

Her room? 

No, it is too likely that Enid will bring you by.

The bee farm—no, there was too much of a chance of you visiting.

Wednesday only briefly considered Xavier's studio, but then she'd have to deal with his incessant questions.

How annoying, Wednesday thought. Everything in this forsaken penitentiary was already a reminder of you when you were gone. She couldn't roam a single hallway without your memory invading her mind.

"Wednesday."

She freezes in her steps. Even now, you were an unwelcome thought that distracted her from an ambush. 

This was why—

"It's been a while," you say hesitantly. "A year in fact."

Wednesday turns around and immediately feels something constrict in her throat. You look mostly the same, but there's a growing maturity to you that's been blooming since the day Wednesday met you. Your eyes lack the dark circles and look lively, and your cheeks fuller.

You look happy, Wednesday realizes, something that you rarely did when you were with her. 

Her fists remain clenched at her sides as she remains passive. "I suppose it has. Why have you returned?"

"Ouch," you say, laughing lightly, and the sound makes Wednesday want to bolt. You're pinching the side of your skirt, an obvious sign of your nervousness, and Wednesday wonders why you even bothered to call out to her. 

You look around the empty hallway out of habit before looking back at her. "I told my parents I wanted to come back and finish my senior year. I'd like to graduate from Nevermore, and their recommendations to colleges really help."

College.

Wednesday feels the distant memory of you talking about it with her, only for her to give a noncommittal answer. You wanted to know where Wednesday planned to go, if she was even planning to go, just to see if you could follow or at least apply somewhere nearby. 

But it looks like you've already decided your next path. 

Something bitter builds in the back of Wednesday's throat, but she swallows down the acid. She doesn't have the right and will be damned if you make her a hypocrite. 

Wednesday lets out a heavy sigh from her nose. "I see," is all she says before she turns and walks again. 

"Wait, Wednesday—"

"What?" Wednesday turns around sharply, her tone callous and impatient. 

The hurt that flashes across your face makes Wednesday feel humiliated, but it's all she knows how to do to keep you at a distance. If you stay away, then you can remain how you are now—happy. 

"I just—" You swallow. "I just want to know that you're doing okay...that you're happy now."

"I don't feel anything," Wednesday narrows her eyes at you. "Did you come here to confirm something so ridiculous?"

"Yes," you put on a brave face even if you know that Wednesday is purposely being hurtful, "because I still care."

You watch carefully at Wednesday's face. Her eyes, her jaw, her lips—any sort of indication for something.

"Then you're a bigger fool than I thought," Wednesday finally says. "All I've ever been capable of bringing you misery."

"That's not true—"

"Isn't it?" Wednesday says haughtily. "I kept you a secret, made you invisible as you stayed beside me. I brought you along on all my investigations to the point where you were seriously injured."

"It wasn't that bad," you tried to say, but Wednesday scoffed.

"Don't take me for an idiot. I can still see your limp."

You clench your jaw, heat rising in your cheeks, but it's not like you can deny it. 

Wednesday looks at you coolly, her expression aloof as she builds walls upon walls with spikes to keep you out. "And because you're so pathetic, you walked around suffering silently all the time but couldn't say it to my face. Even Enid had more guts than you."

There's a sharp breath from you, and Wednesday honestly thinks it's more torturing to see you try to put on a brave face in front of her. It's the same way you've always held back your tears around her. 

You were the one thing Wednesday treasured the most, but it was obvious then and now that she was only capable of ruining everything she touched—that's why she was destined to be alone. 

"So, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine," Wednesday turns away from you, beginning to walk away. "And if you want to be as well, stay away from me."

[bigskydreaming]

So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

[slashbitch2]

Sinful Thoughts- Midnight Mass

Characters: Bev Keane, Father Paul/Monsignor Pruitt

Mike Flanagan's characters are just so interesting that I couldn’t resist writing a little something (expect more as I rewatch all other shows lol.) So here are two short n sweet pieces on Bev Keane and Father Paul.

TW: blasphemy but also like im not religious so idk, swearing, panic attack? Internalised homophobia, mans like a vampire idk how to label that, blood n injury !!

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

Beverly Keane had always hated your guts. It made total sense. You weren’t very religious, only attending church on special occasions, and even then, each sermon was a struggle to keep yourself awake. You drank and had fun, flitting between the island and the mainland living your oh-so-sinful life free of repentance.

The only thing that kept you tied to Crockett Island was your parents, who owned the only culinary establishment on the island. It was a simple restaurant that extended from the back of your house, rustic wood interior and a gathering of tables which mostly remained unoccupied. Each dish was cooked in your kitchen, and the door between the two remained usually unlocked, and so the restaurant was as much a home to you as your actual house.

The busiest time was always Friday evenings, in which the majority of the island’s community would flood into the already cramped room in search of drinks rather than food. Without these Friday nights, your family would’ve gone bankrupt years ago. And the island knew this, and thus the island descended. It was routine, one you were grateful for. At 7 pm each day, that door would swing open, a queue of familiar faces following the leader inside.

Whenever you returned home, your parents would insist that you help out, not that you minded, there wasn’t much else to do on Crockett.

The buzz you felt within the room was a rare occurrence on the island. You wove in and out of groups who would stop you to request another drink, or to catch up with how you were doing. Your feet ached from constantly carting drinks from the kitchen to the main room, and your voice was sore from maintaining repetitive conversations above the general volume level, yet you wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Yes, Mrs Scarborough I have missed this. How’s Leeza doing?”

It was so perfectly predictable.

“No, I’m afraid I’m only staying for the week, Mrs Flynn.”

“Such a shame! I knew you couldn’t stay Warren’s babysitter forever, but it feels like we barely see you anymore, Y/N.”

The same conversation over and over.

“Yes, Joe I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Predictable and easy.

“Of course, upon returning to the island, you neglect to join us for Mass.”

Her voice caused you to halt in your tracks, a tray of drinks balancing tentatively on the palm of your hand, the other free to gently nudge people out your way. And yet, Beverly Keane had planted herself directly in front of you.

You swallowed back your mild irritation at her intrusion. “I only got here this afternoon, and unless you’re planning on opening the church doors at midnight, I’m afraid it’ll have to wait.”

Beverley opened her mouth to say something else, but you beat her to it.

“Now, is there anything I can get for you, or are you simply enjoying my company.”

She faltered for a moment, the crease between her brows deepening. “No.” Clutching the coat folded over her arm closer to her chest, she stepped aside.

Normally, you revelled in your ability to rile her up, aggravating her self-righteous attitude to no end. Daresay you looked forward to your inevitable run-ins with Beverly Keane. Yet there was something subdued about her posture today, lacking in how quick she was to surrender.

You smiled at her. Not your usual gloating nor forced politeness, but a genuine smile, and who were you to criticise the concern that might’ve laced your expression.

This didn’t seem to help as her face darkened before she retreated further into the comfort of the crowd, leaving you with the distinct impression that you had done something wrong. The people of this island were outwardly simple beings, relishing their monotonous routine and bragging about the confined safety of their existence, but internally, to survive in such a place like this, each person was a complex puzzle piece fitting together to form Crockett.

And Bev didn’t just survive here, she thrived.

So, God forbid you found her intriguing. It couldn’t be helped.

Upon returning to the kitchen to collect the next round of drinks, you paused to knock back a shot of whiskey, savouring the way it warmed your chest. It had been part of your terms that while working for your parents, you were allowed to drink. They didn’t mind as long as you could stay on your feet, and nobody was here to leave any kind of TripAdvisor review, so there were rarely any consequences to your increasing inebriation.

While you bustled about the room, tending to customers and cleaning empty glasses, you found your gaze seeking her out every time: Beverly, in the corner, chastising Sarah Gunning, likely for her lack of faith, or talking to Wade Scarborough in hushed tones, conspiring about something. On your fourth trip into the heart of the restaurant, you sensed the weight of someone’s eyes burning into your back. Placing down the last two glasses of this round, you swivelled around as you stood up, and there she was, unsurprisingly staring at you with undisguised judgment.

In amongst the crowd, shadows engulfed her, the low lighting of the restaurant only able to reach the shining silver cross hanging from her neck. It shone so brightly, as if it were glowing, and yet this wasn’t what captured your attention. Instead, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from hers, unwavering with a simmering hatred, the passion of which stole your breath away. Your cheeks burned, the whiskey you had been slowly sipping at suddenly rising from the pit of your stomach to your chest.

You felt sick. You needed air. To escape from this cramped environment. To escape her.

Abandoning your post, you pushed past everyone and back into the kitchen, muttering a soft apology to your mother as you excused yourself momentarily. You picked up your leather jacket en route, memory guiding your movement to the backdoor. You threw it open and stepped out into fresh air, taking a gulping breath, and bracing a hand against the external wall of your house.

One thing you missed about Crockett was the constant presence of the sea. It was always near enough to hear each tide crash against the sand, carrying with it the promise that as each wave washed inland, it too would return to sea. Now, with each push and pull of the surf, you breathed in and out, feeling your chest loosen and cheeks begin to cool.

Rather than panicked, you now merely felt foolish at your reaction. Embarrassed. You had let Beverly get to you, something you swore to never let happen. She was a rude bitch. Not just to you, but everyone. A thorn in the side of Crockett. An expected antagonist to your every decision. But she was also part of the routine you had grown to love, a routine that signified you were home. As commonplace as the smell of salty air that invaded your nose, as irritating as the seagulls that cried overhead. She was part of the life you were accustomed to on Crockett- and yet wholly unpredictable.

Unlike the sense of calmness that pervaded home, Beverly brought conflict, like the storms that occasionally frequented the island, washing oddities upon the shore. She was wreaking havoc in your mind even now, despite the sea breeze lulling you into a sense of security. It seemed that you couldn’t escape her, though you tried.

You shivered, wrapping your arms around your form. It was getting colder each evening, emphasising that winter was fast approaching. Soon, you would leave the island, not returning until Christmas, when the cold would tighten its grip upon your home. Festivities would overtake all else during this month, the church confirming its place in the centre of the community with Beverly at the helm and- ah, shit. Your thoughts had drifted back to her so easily.

The sudden desire for the bitter taste of tobacco crossed your mind. It wasn’t something you often indulged in; a bad habit ditched upon arriving at the mainland, but being here was different- and often difficult, so a packet of cigarettes was always your first purchase after stepping off the ferry. Your hands fumbled about your jacket pocket, finding the crumpled packet and lighter. You lit one of the cigarettes, bringing it to your lips and taking a long drag, watching the dry, grey smoke seep out of your nose and into the dark nighttime air.

“That’s a terrible habit.”

The sound of a voice from behind you startled you out of your subconscious state.

It was Beverly, of fucking course it was. Who else would it be? She was standing in the doorway, warm light from your house radiating out all around her, like a halo.

“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you. You are not your own. So, glorify God in your body.” She announced to the empty sea air as if she were talking to the whole congregation. “That’s from Corinthians 6:19-20, not that you would understand.” Beverly sniped when you didn’t immediately respond.

You sighed and brought the cigarette back to your lips, not finding the effort to deal with her sense of self-righteousness. “I didn’t come out here for a lecture, Bev.”

“Then why are you out here?” She asked casually, as though you were friends, as though you routinely shared anything personal with the woman.

Instead of answering, you fired back, “Why did you?” instantly regretting the harshness of your tone.

Bev shuffled on the spot, standing up straighter, if that were possible. “I wanted to order a drink.”

The absurdity of her response made you scoff, incredulous at the poor excuse. You took another drag from the cigarette to make her sit in the silence, broken only by the crashing waves and the muffled sounds of human activity from inside. “You can wait.” You muttered, loathing the churning sensation in your stomach, which worsened as you saw Bev shift closer out the corner of your eye.

“That’s not very professional.” She pulled a face of mock disappointment, though you saw right through the act. “Am I mistaken or are restaurants meant to have servers?”

“My parents manage without me most the year, I’m sure they can manage an extra ten minutes.” You replied through gritted teeth.

Bev tutted, turning out to stare at the sea. “No, it’s fine I don’t want to be a bother. They seem busy enough.”

You rolled your eyes. She was just trying to get under your skin as always, to make you feel bad for taking a break. What you couldn’t understand, though, was her reluctance to head back inside. She was standing next to you now, staring straight ahead, lost in thought but saying nothing. You even noticed she was shivering, having forgotten to bring her coat out with her.

With the whiskey warming your gut, and the cigarette bringing heat to your chest (though you suspected it wasn’t the sole cause) you no longer felt the chill on the breeze. You exhaled, steeled yourself, and spoke. “You’ll catch your death out here. Do you want my coat? If you’re staying that is.”

Beverly frowned, but the expression didn’t hold her usual frustration or judgment, rather she appeared confused.

It didn’t take much knowledge of Crockett to guess that Beverly wasn’t one to receive such acts of kindness or chivalry often. She had never been well-liked, starting way back at school. She was a few years older than you, and amongst the few young residents attending classes each day, you heard the reputation she held. Beverly Keane has not a friend in the world except those who have no choice but to be nice to her in church, according to anyone you would ask.

“Sure.” Beverly didn’t utter a thanks or spare a smile as you slipped the jacket off your shoulders and passed it over to her. You watched her put it on, your heart admittedly fluttering at the sight. It was so mismatched in comparison to her modest, traditional woollen cardigan.

She stayed staring at you, eyes dark and piercing like she was trying to guess what you’d say next. You didn’t know either, feeling rather adrift in the moment.

“I was sorry to hear about Monsignor Pruitt taking ill on his travels.” There were many riskier things you could’ve said, but you decided to choose the safest option. “I’m sure it’s not the same without him?” You prompted, desperate for her to say something, anything to end the tense silence that had descended.

“It isn’t. They’ve sent a replacement until he recovers.”

You quirked an eyebrow, curious. It wasn’t often the island saw new arrivals. “How’s he doing?”

“Settling in fine,” Bev answered concisely, unwilling to divulge the tendency to gossip that seemed to afflict the community- yourself included.

You made a mental note to ask your parents about the new minister later.

“Are you…” Bev began, then trailed off, as though she were fighting an internal battle whether to pursue a civil conversation with you or not. She cleared her throat. “Is it nice being back on Crockett?”

You had to stifle a laugh at the awkwardness lacing her voice. “I guess so.” For lack of better words, you decided to test how far you could push this newfound civility. “I just ended a long-term relationship, so it’s nice to have that distance from her.”

A muscle in Bev’s jaw twitched, though she didn’t dare to look in your direction. There was a longer pause before she said anything, and you could practically see the gears turning in her head. “It’s not my place to judge who you choose to spend your time with- only God can judge,” she added quickly. “But perhaps some relationships are better left behind, on the mainland.”

You snorted, admiring her ability to avoid what was truly bothering her, but decided to push the topic further. “No need to be jealous. No one ever makes it to Crockett unless it’s serious.”

“I’m not!” The simple statement had been sufficient to rile her up, face flushed and mouth agape as she struggled to hold back whatever it was that she really wanted to say. “What on Earth would make you think I’d be jealous of your sinful existence!? It sickens me that you would even suggest that I-”

“Woah.” You held up your hands playfully. “Calm down, I’m only joking.”

She glared at you, and where you would usually find it intimidating, now it was only amusing to have sparked such a reaction from her.

Your amusement died as she started hurriedly removing the jacket, chucking it at you like it had burned her.

You dropped your cigarette to catch it. “Hold on!”

“I’m going back inside.”

“There’s no need to-“

“And I don’t want to hear any more of your perverted allegations-”

“Wait just a minute. I wasn’t suggesting anything.” You tried quickly to amend, instinctively stepping in front to block her path, and accidentally bringing yourself much closer to her in the process. Close enough to count every freckle dotted across her skin, to see how her hair glowed orange in the warm light emanating from your living room window.

“Move.” She growled.

“I’m sorry.” You replied instead. “That was stupid of me to say. It’s none of my business how you think of my love life.”

You said the wrong thing, again as she moved towards the door, and thus closer to you. “I don’t think anything of it.” She spat, disgusted by the very notion.

Now staring at Beverly with barely a foot between you, you noticed not only details that distance would not permit, but the way her chest was rising and falling heavily, that prevailing dark look in her eyes, which flickered down to your lips and then back up to meet your gaze and softened ever so slightly. Her mouth was downturned as usual, but her lips looked cold and colourless, and oh how you longed to warm her up.

Rather abruptly you realised that it had been too long since either of you had spoken, and while you longed to fill this silence, you found yourself with nothing to say. All you could do was simply stare at her, and more shockingly, she was letting you. No snide comments or snarky remarks, just her eyes, fixed on your face. Waiting. Holding her breath. You couldn’t be the one to end this tension, you both knew that. It had to be her. She had to show you she was certain. She had to-

Beverly closed the distance, lips pressed anxiously against your own. She caught you off guard, and it took a second before your eyes fluttered shut. And then there it was, that feeling again, the burn in your cheeks, the churning in your stomach like the push and pull of the tide. But this time accompanied by the gentle sway of her face in front of yours as she didn’t dare reach out to pull you closer. Her lips were chapped and cold, but soft and chastely seeking out yours. It occurred to you then and there that she probably hadn’t kissed anyone before, and a newfound determination took hold of you.

As she went to pull away, you encircled your arms around her waist, and she let out something that sounded like a gasp. Enticing her closer, you parted your mouth to close over hers, gently sucking her bottom lip, and feeling as she practically melted against you. Cold hands cupped your cheeks, her thumb stroking along your hairline. It was tender, daresay, loving, and over way too quickly.

Beverly was quick to come to her senses and jerked away from you, though her hands stayed holding your face for another beat or two. Her eyes were shining with an open vulnerability, one you longed to soothe, but knew better than to try. 

“Bev, I-“

Suddenly the air around you was cold, not in the pleasantly refreshing way you had earlier sought, but cold and empty. Similarly, that dark tenderness in Beverly’s eyes has morphed now, into something akin to hatred, prickling across your skin like jolts of electricity. Your hands dropped from her waist, and she immediately replaced that prior distance between you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, don’t you ever, dare come near me again.” She spat. “Do you understand me?”

You found your mouth inexplicably dry, the words unable to make it past your throat. You nodded instead.

In response, Beverly bolted, leaving only the resounding slam of the door as she fled back to the restaurant. Yet, despite her urgency to escape your presence, you knew this wasn’t over.  

Ecclesiastes 12:13 “Fear God and keep his commandments.”

On Crockett Island, there were just two places where someone such as yourself could be truly and totally honest: screaming your deepest secrets into the unmoving, grey sea, or at confessional.

The only problem was that your deepest darkest secret involved said priest hearing said confession, so that wasn’t really an option. And, you see, it wasn’t your only problem either.

Problem number two: the guilt eating you alive from said unmentionable confession.

Even if you were to sit inside the confessional, you could hardly think about him, let alone speak aloud what was bothering you. You didn’t know how to say it, afraid that the moment you voiced your guilt, God might strike you down, banish you from church- or worse, that Father Paul might. And herein lay the route of all your problems: you were a little too fond of Father Paul. He was the deepest darkest secret, your unmentionable confession. You were enamoured with the priest.

How could you not be?

He was the young, new arrival on the island.

The very second he stepped through those doors, you were hypnotised, revitalised, a changed person, one might say, and this was before he opened his mouth and delivered the most moving sermon you had ever heard. And so, you tried to absolve your guilt in other ways, mainly by praying as often as you could and avoiding Father Paul.

Unfortunately, on an island as small as Crockett, this wasn’t always possible.

Earlier in the day, you had bumped into him at the general store… then bumped into a shelf stacked high with products which came crashing down all around you… and finally finished off the most embarrassing interaction of your life by stumbling over your words of assurance that ‘yes, you were fine, and no, he wasn’t at fault at all.’ You were simply insanely smitten by him, though you abstained from saying that last part.

After spending the remainder of your day regretting such a moment, you decided to venture to the church and confess your sins directly to God himself. Remove the confessional part, the middleman, if you will, and confess to the sky above.

The sky was darkening by the time you had summoned up the courage to venture out to the church, the building perfectly deserted for your private confession. As you kneeled down in one of the many empty pews, hands clasped together and lips silently forming blasphemous words, only the sound of the wind whistling outside the church answered your prayers. “Forgive me, God, for I have sinned.”

The whole church was dark and vacant. And silent, most importantly.

“I know this isn’t how these things are supposed to go, but… well…”

Your knees ached against the solid wood floor, a stark reminder that you were not here for the comfort of your God, rather to face your guilt.

“I don’t seek absolution, in fact, I believe that would be impossible.” You chuckled to yourself, awkwardly, as if to avoid voicing what you dared not to dwell on. “But instead, guidance, and the strength to do the right thing.”

Glancing downwards at your hands, you imagined the small gap between them to hold your secret, and thus tightened your grip, reluctant to let it escape.

“Strength to ignore any sinful thoughts I have about…”

The floor creaked anxiously while you shifted about. As uncomfortable as you felt, this was necessary. You would force out the words if that’s what it took.

“About…”

You were interrupted as the doors to the church swung open on their hinges, smashing against the wall and startling you with a loud bang. The torrent of noise didn’t cease as the wind, now howling, swept its way into the building. The weather was worsening outside, yet that wasn’t what concerned you. Unclasping your hands, you swivelled around on your knees to see who had disturbed your solitude and were met with the object of your simultaneously, sinful desires, and most dreaded imaginations.

Father Paul stood in the doorway, his dark coat billowing around him as the wind tugged at its edges. He hurriedly grasped the handle of the door, and battling against the gusts forcing their way inside, pushed backwards until it slammed shut once more. He leant back, out of breath, a dark figure in contrast to the light wooden walls. His eyes, unnaturally sharp and piercing, scanned the empty church before they landed on you, still kneeling in front of the pew. For a beat, neither of you moved, as though the beginnings of the storm raging outside had stilled time within the sacred space.

Father Paul didn’t look surprised to see you in the slightest, though you couldn’t say the same at his intrusion. While the church was a sanctuary from the weather outside, it couldn’t provide shelter from the emotional turmoil within you.

“Oh.” He seemed suddenly to remember that you shouldn’t be here, face morphing into confusion as he stepped forward, boots echoing against the hollow air. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

You were mesmerised as he approached, tracing the light rain that coated his jet-black hair, and soaked his clothes. To have Father Paul summoned so suddenly, as you were repenting for your feelings towards him was almost unsettling. You weren’t sure whether this could be classed as an act of God, or merely incredibly unfortunate timing on your part.

Father Paul continued to walk forward, stopping next to you. A flickered expression crossed his face, a blink and you would’ve missed it kind of quick, but uncanny- so uncanny that a chill crept its way up your spine.

“No!” You exclaimed, remembering that you ought to respond eventually. “I’m the one that should be apologising, Father.”

“Whatever for?” He asked, expression unreadable and tone casual as he regarded your posture.

Feeling insecure, you slowly stood up, joints creaking from the cramped position. “It’s a rather odd time to be here.” You swallowed hard and smiled, rooted to the spot under Father Paul’s curious glare.

He studied your face, frowning, giving you the distinct impression that he knew more than he let on. That, perhaps, he knew exactly what you were apologising for.

“In God’s house, there is no odd time.” He answered. “You are always welcome here, Y/N.” There was a concern to his voice, genuine and gentle, which only made the guilt gnawing within you more intense. How could you confess to anyone but yourself that the mere sight of him made you question everything you thought you knew, everything important to you, even your faith?

“Thank you, Father.” You nodded, your head remaining bowed as you enjoyed a respite from the intensity of his proximity. To spend time with him felt wrong, and yet, you couldn’t escape the need for more. “I had better get home before this weather gets any worse.”

As the words left your mouth, you risked glancing up at him and were met with the striking impression of anger.

Pure, unadulterated anger. Or no, rather, hunger. An expression of longing you previously would have hoped to have seen reciprocated, yet now felt so violently unsettled by. His brow furrowed, and he stepped closer, a comforting- possessive hand reaching out but stopping short of touching you. “No, stay.” Father Paul implored. “The storm is meant to clear within the hour, and I could use some company.”

You found your mouth inexplicably dry, and simply nodded, accepting his suggestion despite the unnerving energy that seemed to radiate from him. Perhaps, you were just being foolish, and what you felt was a result of your ungodly thoughts rather than any kind of sinister nature to Father Paul. That must be it.

“Let us pray together. “He gestured to the empty pew beside you. “I cannot be the reason for your prayers being left unfinished.”

You chuckled and moved further in, allowing Father Paul to shuffle into the confined space, effectively trapping you. And yet, his body was warm and steady, pressed up against you closer than it needed to be. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to move away, nor deny the jolt of something- guilt, desire, fear, whatever it was, as it deepened the tempest raging inside of you. This was morally wrong. You couldn’t truly repent when you were so enjoying his company.

Turning your focus forward, you reclasped your shaking hands, trying to ignore the way his presence clouded your mind. Though you couldn’t stop your eyes from darting across, just for a brief beat, but long enough to see his hands mirroring your own in prayer- his fingertips stained a deep red, dried blood underneath his nails.

You gasped. “Father, your hands! Are you alright?” Your arms fell to your side, futile, your gaze locked on the crimson staining his skin, checking to see any visible injuries.

“Oh, no, no…” Father Paul raised his hands before him to calm your panic, bringing that horrifying red into better light. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from it, yet what it signified, you couldn’t understand.

“I’m not hurt.” He smiled, reassuring, your gaze finally relinquishing its hold as you calmed down and looked up at him. He appeared genuine in his reassurance, and perhaps, if you squinted, flattered by your concern for his wellbeing.

“What…that’s blood… What happened?” You stuttered out.

“Just an accident. It really is none of your concern.” He brushed off your worry as if it were nothing, like the weight of it wasn’t pressing down on your chest, making it hard it breathe in the accompanying tension you felt around Father Paul. You were held captive by it all.

“I should…” You flickered between his impassive expression and the stained blood, fighting an internal battle of your own. “I’ll get you something to wash up.”

Before you could stand, the lights blinked and then stuttered out, plunging the church into an abrupt darkness. The storm outside had grown stronger, the wind crying and rain pelting against the walls with relentless force. In this darkness, you felt Father Paul’s presence even more acutely, his breath warm against your face as he leaned in close.

“No, stay,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “Please.”

You were certain. You had no other choice, and thus remained still, unmoving.

Father Paul was staring at you now. In the shadows of the unlit church, you could just about make out his face, his features darkening with the lack of light, and something more, something unspoken. In spite of the gloominess that the power cut had plunged you both into, his eyes seemed to shimmer, a picture of innocence- but it should be impossible, with no light source to reflect off of. In fact, they practically glowed, holding a temptation that, perhaps, wasn’t yours alone to carry. A shared burden of lust.

You edged closer, if only to look deeper at this unnatural phenomenon, hypnotised by the way his iris shone. He echoed this movement, closer to you, and then again, and again, until he was too close for you to focus on anything except his lips. But this was wrong. You squeezed your eyes shut; to take a breath, to regain your composure, to try and escape the hold Father Paul ruled over your senses. But what you hadn’t anticipated in all your sinful hopes and secret daydreaming, was how soft his lips would be as they hesitantly sought yours out.

Father Paul kissed you, so softly, his breath fanning across your face as he sighed. You leaned further, giving in to temptation, savouring the touch. His hand rose to your face, warm but firm, as you fell into his hold. Any thoughts of repentance slipped away from your mind, replaced by a feeling that you hoped would never go away. It was blissful. Nothing existed except you and him.

The solid wooden floor beneath your legs melted away, your cramped positioning becoming somehow not cramped enough. You wanted to be impossibly close, to lose yourself in the embrace.

A sharp pain against your bottom lip dragged you out of this state, followed by a metallic taste filling your mouth as you gasped, tried to pull away from Father Paul. The pain on your lip was hot and white, soothed unsuccessfully as his tongue lapped at the cut. You were uncomfortable, you tried again to pull away, but at some point, his arm had snaked its way around your waist, holding you against him: trapping you. Despite the blood pooling in your mouth, Father Paul was kissing you more fervently, his grip tightening like he couldn’t let you go.

You whined, unable to speak up as he pushed you backwards, his hands firmer and firmer against your cheeks. Gone was the softness, the hesitance, replaced only by discomfort.

Finally, you pressed against his chest with more force than should be necessary, and he parted, falling back into the dark mass of his coat, splayed all around him like a pool of blood. It matched the dark liquid that now coated his lips and oozed down his chin. Your blood.

He had bitten you.

Jumping to your senses, you scrambled to your feet, observing the pure hunger that had taken over Father Paul, afraid that should you look away, he might pounce. Your chest was rising and falling at such a rapid pace that you could hardly control the way your body shook. Tremors reverberated through your mind, as all else screamed at you to run.

Suddenly, a static click and light flooded the church. Your eyes slammed shut, your vision adjusting from near-pitch black to a blinding warmth which penetrated your eyelids in an amber hue. Blinking a few times, you forced yourself to look back at Father Paul, who had raised an arm to cover over his eyes, clearly struggling with the change in lighting as the power returned. But to your utter dismay, this newfound light confirmed your worst fear: your own blood smeared all around his face.

When you needed it most, light had been returned to the church, and thus your senses had returned too. So, before temptation could make itself known to you once more, you turned and ran and didn’t look back.

.

reminder to self to proofread this at some point lol

[sygneth]

Echoes of Elysium | Disco Elysium AU ...something?

Warnings

General warnings for my blog's content applies. Check here.

This AU is (rather) not very alternative. I am just trying to develop further events and some background for the characters, but even though I'm making research and I try to stay canon-compliant, only to fill in the gaps, I cannot guarantee it will never happen. Especially in this fandom, where many interpretations and paths are equally canon, we may not agree on some things, I hope you'll enjoy my point of view nevertheless. Some episodical OCs will appear too.

INDEX

EOE on ComicFury!

EOE on Tumblr:

Chapter 1: New Beggings -> START

EOE on AO3:

Main plot (uhh still in the process of uploading!)

Ficlet series (additional content)

LORE:

Precinct 41 plans and explanation

Plot outline

After Martinaise things are slowly getting back to normal, but the general atmosphere in the city gets thickens every day, La Retour is hanging in the air. Despite this, Harry is trying to stay sober and make amends. It's hard to say if Kim's appearance on the 41st is making things easier or harder between Harry and his old friends.

The Return happens. In the after-revolutionary mess, everybody tries to move on, but things are changing in almost every aspect of life. And on top of this, a particularly hard case drops and somebody has to take care of it.

The start of the project is directly after Martinaise, so forgive me this vague description, but I would hate to spoil the plot haha.

Okay, from now on additional info, still important but not crushial.

I want to focus on the relationship between the people of Precinct 41 and their internal experiences. Impactful events and thicker action will happen too, but mostly in the later chapters of this.

There are also some important premises of this AU I would like to highlight:

Kim was raised in an orphanage, presumably held by some Dolorian organisation (order?). Some of his old-fashioned manners and vocabulary are remainings after growing up in a religious environment (even if he's not very religious himself).

Eyes died around 9 months before the events from the game. Since then, Kim has been willingly working alone. His superiors were not very fond of that but somehow he managed not to get partnered with anyone.

Harry has no known family members left. At least as far as he and his friends know.

Jean and Harry's partnership started four, maybe five years ago. According to the game, it was "two years minimum" but personally I think those losers were stuck with each other for much longer.

Jean's years-long, unexplained depression has roots in some sort of personality disorder. Also, he is codependent on Harry, probably co-addicted too. He had problem with speed himself, however it's not nearly as serious as Harry's. I see him as more of a weekend/party drug user, as for now.

I assume that since the communist revolution gay relationships were technically legal in Revachol. Technically, because there are still no rights for same-sex couples and the social recognition is poor and rather negative (I got inspired by my own country in that matter)

That's all I can think of now. I will probably just add new information in the description of he pages.

Okay, cool, one last thing. What do you mean by "...something?"? Is this a comic? A fanfiction series? What am I looking at?

The answer is: I don't yet know. I am planning this to be mostly a comic, but I cannot say there won't be some written as fanfics parts or some kind of in-between media. I don't really want to limit myself to one medium only, but at this point, I have no idea what this will evolve into. I honestly just want to have fun lol

[estbela]

your post abt robul marriage is everything <3 tbh the whole 'marriage proposal' is so interesting to me bc if you look back at the middle ages, Bul with his empires was always the stronger and more successful of the two and Ro probably admired him quite a bit. then fast forward to the 19th century and you have the same guy sending sappy proposals to Ro and going plsplspls marry me!! they <33 (i love your vision for robul pls don't stop talking abt them)

THIS ASK IS EVERYTHING TO ME ANON!!!! Oh god youre so nice!!!!

tbh I didn't think it was that good cause I wrote it at night instead of sleeping while really exhausted and constantly fact checking myself with wikipedia (and I very much suck at alternate history) but thank you!!!!

Exactly!!!! That's one of the things that gets me about robul. Like the different dynamics they've had over the years is so fascinating to think about and you put it perfectly!!! YEAH I do think Ro admired him, but tbh he probably never really told him that, at least not then. I actually think they fell in love during the middle ages, but they were pretty young and things were complicated so they didn't really act on it back then. Also it's important to me that Bul fell first, and Ro fell harder.

And like, they're not really equals, altho I do think that Bul values Ro a lot, as part of his empire and after Ro sort of becomes his own country as Wallachia, as a trusted ally and advisor in a way. While Ro, I don't think he cares that much about stiff like that, the fact that Bul is the more succesful one does bother him in a way? Cause at that point he was already used to empires wanting to control him, his people and his lands, so this caused him to be wary of Bul at first and reluctant to befriend him when they met around the time of the first bulgarian empire but Bul cosntantly seeks him out to be his friend and treats him like an equal when he can.

And then after the fall of the second bulgarian empire it gets interesting, cause now Ro is the one that is stronger, and has managed to not become part of the Ottoman Empire (well, he is a vassal, but in a far better position than Bul) and their dynamic changes!!! I haven't really made up my mind about them during that time exactly, but I do know that sometime during the period they were both part of the Ottoman Empire, more or less, they started dating.

And like. Then in the 19th century they're very different people than who they were as children in the middle ages, and their relationship has changed too, yet also remained almost the same in a way. This time thought, Ro is the one that's kinda stronger and achieved independence first and tbh I wonder if Bul would be insecure about that. And yeah he loves Ro so much!!!! Tbh it kinda scares Ro how much bul loves him, how much he's always loved him. But in a way, their relationship is better and worse bcs of this? Now that theyre kinda equals, he doesn't worry about Bul being like other empires lol, cause he's not an empire anymoreo obvs. While Bul worries about not being enough for Ro, so he probably overdoes it a bit in his proposals and romantic gestures towards Ro. They have their issues obviously but GOD they can be so sweet despite that!!!!

Don't worry I won't ever stop talking about them if I can help it!!! I also plan to write stuff in my hetaverse with them (tho I mostly use Nyo Ro in my hetaverse, their dynamic is basically the same and all HCs I have for Ro also apply to her etc etc)!!! :D

[typosandtea]

Sorry to everyone who follows me for silly drawings! I haven't been posting much as ive been working on making a customisable person crochet pattern for the last few months, here are prototypes 0.1, 0.2 and 0.3! 0.3 is my first attempt at a vault suit

No pattern yet but details \/

I was very sad by the lack of fallout 4 crochet patterns that were not vaultboy and was like oh wait I can attempt to do it myself!!

Once I've got the basic pattern locked down, then I'm going to work on making it customisable so you can make different shaped people, and then I'm going to make various clothes and things! It will mostly be fallout at first as that's why I started this. Once ive gotten the pattern complete im going to make various characters from fallout 4!

I also hope to make the pattern customisable, shapes such as muscular, skinny, fat, tall, short, other customisations such as different hairstyles, noses and ears, and other humanoid creatures such as supermutants, elves, dwarves, tieflings, dragonborn, khajit ect.

will be posting the pattern once I've gotten it to a point that I'm happy with it!

0.1

My first attempt at making a complex crochet project without a pattern. Lots and lots of undoing. It's not very good yet and not symmetrical, a great learning experience though like that what I have been using as a single crochet is actually half double crochet, so these patterns will be completely in HDC. The hands and feet are good and have been carried through so far and will likely remain unchanged for the final pattern. Hair is crocheted separately and sewn on, also not great.

0.2

Fixed a lot of the really obvious issues in 0.1 such as adding a chin, elbows, and slightly better proportions. Had to completely change the shoulders as the neck was a big cone lol. The legs are now the same length. I made a mistake in my counting and the legs are different sizes at the hips. Made a nose and ears. Long hair is just the edges as there would have been too much bulk if I had filled the whole scalp.

0.3

Improvements and new mistakes here. Switched to a smaller hook size (3mm) for density. vault suit is ok, need to work on neater colour changes, The first attempt at incorporating hair into the head resulted in receding hairline. Focusing on colours and proportions resulted in torso and legs having too much twist to them. Increased leg length, torso is too small compared to body I think. I do like the beard and moustache.

Planned improvements for 0.4

Fix torso and leg twisting, increase forearm length, larger torso in proportion to the rest of the body, slightly rounder head, focus on getting shape right before designing outfits.

It might be ambitious but fallout brainrot will keep motivating me haha

[princesstarfire1234]

Are you still into RMA?? If so, which season do you like the best and which season do you think is the most lackluster? For me, I genuinely love Season 1. It got me a few giggles and it has one of the most tragic yet sympathetic villains that I adore. Season 2 for me is sort of... Meh, the first part is decent but I don't like the second part. Especially with the designs, Paru/Taru and Rose are one of my least favorite designs (Paru just looks messy while Rose just looks too plain) But it also brought one of the most strongest designs in the series, and that's Lefnardo!

Hello, ooohh haven't gotten an RMA ask in a while! It's more of a dormant interest these days

I absolutely ADORE S1 as well!! I think it's by far the strongest season. The plot feels well planned and fleshed out and the filler episodes mostly stay for the first half. The more you watch it, the more it actually feels like something is up and the characters are slowly finding out about it. Like, I can guarantee you that once you basically pass the Red Eyed Beast episode, you're basically set and its getting REAL.

Season 2 Part 1 for the most part was... alright to me. It's definitely no season 1 though. Same goes for Part 2 but it felt... infinitely worse? Not the most horrible way the show could've ended up but it just felt very... lackluster from what I've seen. Granted, I haven't gotten to watch the enter part of the season in English unfortunately (there's an existing English dub out there now on YouTube and it's been saved to sources like gdrive but I just haven't gotten the time lmao).

The story is one thing, season 2 could just never be season 1. It lacked the GRIT, idk how to explain it... Like it felt too light? RMA is not by any means a crazy dark show lmao but S1 had this vibe of 'oh! Funny animals playing games whose relationships with each other develop overtime and it's all cool and awesome blah blah blah!' while also being a little fucked up? As soon as the DV7 show up, things get really fuckin real and the latter part of that season remains my fave. S2 had Akong being a little crazy but I felt they never used him to his full potential, y'know? Not to mention the awkward cut off between S1 Part 1 and 2. I still never understood as to why they had two completely different stories conjoined in one season... It made part 1 feel rushed and part 2 just coming outta nowhere.

Small gripe as well, I didn't like how episode 25 of season 2 made us think we were gonna see the DV7 having prominent roles in part 2 (like how I've seen fans yearn for for years lmao) and then they only stay to get beaten up and only Rema gets to do anything substantial lmao. I think the could've acted as guys reintroducing and getting the running men more caught up with whats happening in Tree City. Maybe they've fought the Leo's Valiants multiple times than we thought and they train the RunningMen?? Idk man give my guys atleast SOMETHING lol, they were one of the most interesting aspects of S1 but the show seems adamant on never touching up on them again.

Another thing S1 had over S2, I felt like a lot of the voice acting and dialogue (especially for the English dubs) were... worse in season 2?? Idk what happened, if they got a different voice director or smthn but everyone retains their voice actors afaik, yet they all sound flatter? I'm not sure if this is just me being crazy or if anyone's noticed it too lol.

What I will give to S2 though is the character designs, I get you didn't like Paru or Rose but I thought they fit in pretty well with the rest of the Leo's Valiants (I do think Paru's head is a little too big for her body though and it messes up her proportions a lot lmfao). And the entire style and vibe of Old City (Pullulu place/dimension/whatever it is) is WONDERFUL. I fuck so hard with the vibe of that place, so colorful and fun, but the city sectors are littered with booby traps and are incredibly deadly like THATS COOL!! Also the Guardians (or whatever they were called, Ensemble & Hurricane, Vivache, and the red guy soz I forgot bro's name) were neat and silly! I liked em and the gimmick of giving powers to the team's watches!

- - -

Anyways this is getting a bit long so I'll cut it off here but hopefully this summed up MOST of my thoughts lmao. Might be a bit disorganized and missing a few things I just can't be bothered to think abt rn but ehhhh

I haven't watched Revengers yet (I do have the English dub saved on gdrive tho) but I'm sure I'll get to it one daaayyyyy ahshs

Thank you for the question anon!!

[kitkatopinions]

RWBY has been nitpicked to the bone by now. I suppose there's volume 9 but lets be honest not alot of meat to work with there, lots of gristle though. But here's my take. The end where the team arrives at Vacuo doesn't fill me with anticipation like an ending should. I feel more confused than intrigued. Likewise the same for the template preview at RTX. So many unanswered questions and considering the next volume isn't guaranteed, many will likely remain unanswered.

Ah, see, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on nitpicks. I feel like I still have plenty of nitpicking left in me for RWBY. XD

But I completely agree with you on the ending of V9 when they're in Vacuo. First of all, they went where and when they're needed the most, but... Why are they needed? By the look of things, Vacuo is doing way better than expected (because natural consequences don't exist in this show lol,) and honestly the writers have done an incredibly poor job of explaining why these five specific kids who aren't of graduation age and essentially were given their hunter badges because of nepotism and protagonist armor are needed in the war against Salem. Shouldn't they logically have gone somewhere that was in desperate need of any Hunter with a weapon like a village outside of the kingdoms? Or a place dealing with devastating Grimm attacks that a Silver Eyed Warrior could help with? Also, I've been mostly against time travel plots, but 'when you're needed the most' implies that the Tree goddess literally was doing time stuff and dude, when Team RWBY now is needed the most is probably pre-V3 so they can... You know, stop the devastating attack on Beacon that launched the whole war.

Second off, wasn't getting any semblance of an army together even to fight Salem a sure sign of how evil and controlling and oppressive Ironwood was? And yet the sight of ships overhead in Vacuo is supposed to fill us with hope?

Third off, the entire RTX original end for V9 was so bad that it's literally comical. Winter going on about the poor giving martyrs that wanted so much and did so much, Willow hiding out in her little sun hat being mistreated by mean poor people, the little 'remember her message' grafitti as if Ruby said something more than a bunch of confusing stuff and then a half-baked 'everything will be fine' platitude, Qrow being weirdly fine after the supposed death of his beloved nieces... All of it was just so badly done.

And yeah, it's possible that we might not get V10, but I think we probably will. I just don't know if we'll get anything more than V10, so I'm anticipating a major rush job that tries to jam pack in way too much while completely forgetting about tons of things. Then we're going to get a bunch of hate from anti-rwders blaming us and not acknowledging RT's terrible history, the RWBY writers' poorly done work and bad planning, or the fndm putting other people from other fandoms off of rwby as possible reasons why the show didn't last for another ten years. XD

[evelhak]

For the character ask game, could you do numbers 1, 10, 12, 16, 18, 20 and 26 for my favorite boy, Hayama? I am curious about every number possible, but most curious about these! 🌟

Sure! I'll just answer the numbers you gave me because I honestly haven't given Hayama a lot of thought and don't think I will be able to do him a lot of justice at the moment.

One reason I enjoyed reading your elaborate headcanons for him so much was basically because I have none. It's hard for me to enjoy reading about characters that I do have elaborate and fixed headcanons for... not because those headcanons are mine necessarily, it's just because my brain wants only one reality. It's the same when I find a canon-continuation fic for a story that is so satisfying I no longer want to read alternatives, in that situation I wouldn't want my own headcanons either, because then that somebody else's fic is canon to me. Sometimes I come up with the thing most satisfying to myself, and sometimes somebody else does, but in both cases my brain no longer accepts anything else. Haha... (It's not completely black and white, there are exceptions and loopholes, but I do lean this way.)

Hayama is still rather free for interpretation in my head though, and I do have plans for an Akashi-centric fic, so I am going to have to think about Hayama too, and this is certainly a good ask for that, so I will think about him now.

1. My first impression of them

Probably something like "Well, I guess we didn't have the acrobat yet."

10. Describe the character in one sentence

A surprising symbiosis of lightness and intensity.

12. Sexuality hc!

I have none, really. I would be inclined to assume he's straight because I don't want to write stories without straight people and the lack of female characters pretty much automatically causes most ships to be queer, so when I do ship characters it makes them queer most of the time, so if someone can be straight they most likely are in my stories, lol. However, this is not a real, fixed headcanon, so your opinions might still have time to affect mine. Remains to be seen.

16. A childhood headcanon

He probably drove his parents nuts by climbing and jumping absolutely everything, like, you couldn't get through a shopping trip with Kotaro without 20+ incidents of having to tell him to get down from that tree, or to stop playing Floor Is Lava on the street, or to stop treating the furniture section as an obstacle course.

18. How do you think they were as a kid?

I think he was a super curious explorer type of kid, who never actually got his fingers burned, so to speak, because of his superhuman abilities, so he never became as careful as most kids do pretty soon, because he didn't need to.

20. A weird headcanon

I don't know if this counts as weird, but I feel like he's one of those rare people who come really close to being exactly what it says on the tin, he's that open and honest, but he has exactly ONE little embarrassing secret that he thinks is way bigger than it actually is.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

I guess the previous question kind of answers this already, but I think he's more honestly himself most of the time than most people are. Not that he doesn't have thoughts or feeling that are deeper than it would first seem, but he's simply not someone who spends a lot of time in his head, so what he doesn't show or say is mostly stuff he hasn't thought about.

I hope this wasn't too disappointing. I just don't know Hayama that well yet, and my process of getting to know characters is time-consuming, and I'm always looking for The One True headcanon for everything, the one that makes everything make sense and ties contradictory seeming parts from canon and sometimes even fanon together in a way that is just ultimately satisfying for me. I haven't gone through that process with Hayama. I hope it will happen when I write my Akashi fic!

character asks

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Questions about the Raven House AU: How would Edric and Emira fit in the story? I feel they were really essential in pushing Amity to do what she wanted to do (or Luz during Lost in Language). But since they're gonna be mostly absent during the AU, I wonder how'd that go. Same applies to Swap!Luz, as it seems she would mostly be on her own, given she has no siblings... unless you put King in there somewhere...

AUs are so interesting, but man, the brainpower needed to make the changes work well... I salute you for writing it anyways

Hello Anon! And hello to all fans of TRH au. I promise I am alive, just have had a very busy and chaotic couple months. I’m hoping to ease back into writing slowly :) so thanks for the people who stuck around!

To answer your question, Anon, my plans for the siblings are…complicated. This AU is sort of unique in that it’s not a 1-1 AU, so not everyone is going to be swapped. In the case of Ed and Em, my plan was to sort of split the role of Camila between them and Alador. For pivotal scenes in S1 and S2, they’d be Camila. If I chose to write S3 (which I’m not ready to commit to yet), Alador would step up into that role.

For King, his character will remain relatively similar to the original- with some slight differences in his arc. Without too many spoilers, he will remain a part of the trio of Eda, King, and Luz. I do somewhat regret not swapping him with the Collector, but at the same time I do think it stays truer to Lilith’s character. I don’t have plans for him to appear in LOL (I’m not actually sure that will be a chapter anyways) but I’m not worried about that. I don’t necessarily think that’s as important to Swap! Luz’s character arc as it was with canon Amity’s.

Hope that answers your questions!! Thanks for reading.

[bellmo15-blog]

Have I ever told you how much I love Tharja from Fire Emblem? Cause this ain't her lol! It's Razmi from Indivisable and one of my fav's from that game. And yet another pic I'm extremely proud I commisioned. Probably because there's very few pics of Razmi without Bon over her head and I like when people experiment with this stuff.

Original description: When I played Indivisable for the first time and came across the character of Razmi it was pretty much a “love at first sight” scenario. Seriously, all though out the game she remained one of my favourite character. Her dialogue, her design and really she’s just a likable character for me. I mean, I love pretty much all the character in this game anyway, especially the main character Arjna, but Razmi is waifu! And also Thorani. And Bohzai… And I guess maybe that one massive snake lady, look you get my point. So it was inevitable that I would get a commission of her one day and now here we are. Razmi in some Gothic Belly Dancer attire. That’s actually a genuine style of belly dancing two. I didn’t even know that until a few months ago thanks to another user here on DA who’s also into it. And given Razmi’s personality and design I thought it would be fitting to put her in this particular outfit. Well, I was actually torn between her and Tharja from Fire Emblem and either could of worked just as well given how both are similar in design, both are socially awkward, both use dark forms of… magic and both… sound… identical… Wait a minute! *Goes to look up the voice actress for both Tharja and Razmi.* … Wow, so I’m NOT crazy! Both character not only have similar qualities, but also are both voiced by Stephanie Sheh. I’m convinced someone working at Lab Zero was a fan of Tharja and she was an inspiration. Although apparently in an early prototype Razmi was actually voiced by Christina Vee. The same voice actress that plays Shantae. Considering she and many other characters WERE going to be added into the game as guest characters that’s both surprisingly ironic and also saddens me because that never ended up happening. ☹ And no, for those wondering, despite my massive love for Shantae she alone WASN’T the sole reason I wanted to play this game! It was actually on my radar well before I even learnt about her planned inclusion. Mostly because of my friend who also loves this game and said it was great. And also I enjoyed their previous game Skullgirls… Even though I absolutely suck at it. It was more the characters than the actual game I liked with Skullgirls. Is there anything else I can think to add here? Other than I love Razmi (again) and love how this pic turned out I can’t really think of anything. Artist is EmeraldSphynx: https://www.deviantart.com/emeraldsphynx

Story: https://www.deviantart.com/bellmothegreat/art/Razmi-Taking-Up-Belly-Dancing-890626155

[levi-supreme]

Hi Rei 😊

A Reivi question... at some point did any of you tell the other 'who would have thought we end up like this? Married and with four children?🥰'

You know...that feeling when you look at your person and think 'wow, it's almost miraculous I met him and now we're married'

🥺🥺🥺🥺 anon I— *swoons* I think of this all day every day 😭💕 like, I must have saved a country and accumulated lots of good fortune to be able to meet and marry someone like Levi ❤️ I don't think Levi and I ever mentioned about this to each other so openly, but... yeah. We really appreciate each other very much.

Of course we have our share of quarrels and arguments too (mostly because of my insecurity and Levi's insensitivity lol), but ultimately, I feel like Levi and I were really made for each other. Every day with Levi has been filled with love and happiness and I'm just so thankful to have him in my life 🥰

We love children and we always knew we'd have one of our own, but wow to be blessed with four children is just so fortunate too (Renée was planned, the twins and Charlotte aren't HAHA) 💕 indeed, it really was a miracle to meet someone like Levi. He keeps me grounded when I'm being too impractical, and being with me helped Levi become more open to expressing his thoughts and emotions instead of keeping everything to himself. I really don't know what I'll do if I didn't meet him 🥺 (I explained more about what I love about Reivi here!!)

And......... I also wrote about this very briefly in Levi's birthday fic last year!! <3 you can read 'birthdays' over here hehe. I'll leave a snippet of the fic below the cut too, so you don't have to read through the whole thing if you don't want to!!

“Well, learn to control yourself then, Levi Ackerman,” it was my turn to tease Levi as I kept the remaining cake in the fridge and walked him towards our living room. Levi gave me a confused look. “Remember your birthday seven years ago, when we just got married and moved in here?” Levi and I looked at each other as I locked my hands behind his neck while Levi’s arms were around my waist. 

“Yeah, of course. We were slow dancing, just like what we’re doing now.” Levi rubbed his nose against mine and closed his eyes. 

“And you suddenly blurted out saying you wanted us to be parents to human babies,” I laughed a little louder, “and I honestly can’t believe you actually said it so bluntly, amour.” Levi smiled at the memory. 

“I didn’t blurt it out 'suddenly’. Everything was leading up to it nicely.” Levi commented and I chuckled, pulling Levi closer to me. It seemed so long ago, yet it felt so close to our hearts as well. We looked each other in the eye, slowly dancing around in circles. Has it really been seven years since we got married? Where did all the time go?

“Look at us now, seven years later,” Levi pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead, “who would have thought we would have so many kids." 

"Why, having second thoughts?" 

"Tch, 'course not, mon cœur,” Levi rolled his eyes again, “I wouldn’t give this up for anything. You, Renée, the boys, and Charlotte. You and our children are the best thing that happened to me.” Levi gave me another smile as we swayed in synchronised steps. 

“You say the same thing every year.” I laughed, recalling what Levi told me on his birthday last year.

“It’s the truth.” The both of us looked at each other as we stopped in our steps. After a few moments, Levi tightened his hold around me and hugged me close, resting his chin comfortably on my shoulder. We remained in each other’s embrace. Suddenly, a wave of emotions started to overwhelm me as I thought about how far Levi and I had come. Damn it, Rei! This isn’t the time to get sentimental. I could hear Levi sniffle his nose a little, and I knew he was thinking the same. I quickly blinked away the tears that were dotting my lashline and kissed Levi’s cheek.