#and yet i get brushed off
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chiricat · 8 months ago
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ryomina demons are winning
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saturnniidae · 3 months ago
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How am I meant to think Hiccup doesn't have self destructive tendencies when he canoncially never fucking takes his prosthetic foot off to, at the very least, go to sleep
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return-of-the-vegetable · 2 months ago
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honestly i feel like dirk would just be like SO fucking confused and get his brain partially fried if someone was like actually and Genuinely interested in hal and wasnt just flirting with our fave glasses guy bcause the other person was instead interested in dirk but is unable to date him like how roxy does . the reverse dirkjake + hal as a third wheel dynamic or something .
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laserbread · 10 months ago
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Energon universe spoilers ahead!!!
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Me: I should go to bed
Also me: What if I drew something intensely difficult for a meme
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fragmentedblade · 5 months ago
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The "Dan Heng is Dan Feng" dogmatics annoy me a lot. It entirely brushes off one of the most interesting and prevalent questions posed by the game, incarnated by several characters and stories that give the question different hues with different potential answers, and a constant also in HI3, like a thread waving the two games together
#The question about what makes a person themselves is super interesting#Is it the memories? Is it personality? Is it body? Is it resemblance? What about narrative reiteration?#Bronya is not Silver Wolf but they're both HI3 Bronya but also they're not#Is March the same person she once was? What about the Trailblazer? Welt looks at Himeko and Silver Wolf and feels like drowning#but he is looking at nothing other than something eerily recognisable#Vidyadhara are reborn anew as if washed clean but Dan Heng's process was skewed. What does it mean to Dan Heng?#He has the body he has the moves he has the stern haughty air he has muddy memories he can't quite recall but something stays#Is he or is he not the same? Where does one end and the other start? Where do they overlap?#Does how others regard him influence whether he is or isn't Dan Feng?#Does the memories of others weight more than your own memories and will?#What does constitute a person? How is selfhood constructed? What are the ontological implications of all this?#If you respond to these questions one way in one context when it comes to one character‚ can you confidently reply the same thing#in a different context for a different character? If not‚ why? What does it say?#It's not a straight up answer. The question is what's interesting and it's what makes Dan Heng's story interesting#Seeing it dogmatically negated mainly for the purpose of a ship annoys me a lot#It is a constant in HSR but it's even more clear after playing HI3. This problematic about what constitute identify and selfhood#and whether or not they're the same thing is a constant there too. With Kiana‚ with Otto‚ with Kevin‚ with Fu Hua‚ with the simulations#of the Flame Chasers most notably with Mobius but in general with the continuation of their goals and feelings‚ Klein as human and as ELF‚#the iteration of consciences of the Herrschers‚ the puppets of the Herrscher of Domination‚ the influence of the Herrscher of Corruption‚#the many times characters are found in different universes being slightly different yet recognisable‚ the amount of times characters seem#to reiterate existences in different eras‚ echoing past selves with past faces yet different‚...#And usually it's not easy to respond to all of them with the same answer‚ which only opens more questions. It's extremely interesting#and it's obviously a topic Honkai as a game cares about a lot. But no. Nothing matters. Dan Heng *is* Dan Feng yes or yes no questions asked#No problematic. No questioning. No doubts. All usually because of a ship. That the drive. I don't know... I'm all for shipping#but I quite dislike when shipping gets so out of hand it crushes and brushes off good writing or core motifs in a text. It's... shabby#And it saddens me haha. Why do you even care about these characters and their dynamic if you're erasing core traits of them as characters?#Abfkabdkkd anyway...#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#But I had to vent a little. It annoys me a lot this kind of approach to analysis what can I say
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flufflecat · 2 months ago
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hey
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sweetandsourcookies · 6 months ago
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lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.
#mostly like. i feel so alienated out for like. having such different views of chars.#dark choco is a char i find myself to relate to a lot. i see so much of myself in him.#and yet. i cant get fully interested and that makes me feel. am i even a true fan of his character#if my interpretation is so vastly different from the fandoms#and how his kingdom is probably my least favourite out of all the ancients' kingdoms#for how i feel like ppl and the narrative tend to forget how dark cacaos kingdom is so flawed.#like the whole “no sweet meals” thing. i am not talking abt irl influences and how it impacts the presentation of the kingdom but more like#i feel like ppl tend to perfectionize dark cacao kingdom while ignoring a ton of systematic issues in it.#then theres my opinion on hollyberry. i love her. shes my favourite ancient. but i wish we got a more serious storyline with her#im not all catched up on the lore but i just wish rlly wish we got more of the hollyberry kingdom. and see holly display a wider range of-#-emotions.#i hope the eternal sugar update will get us some hollyberry kingdom angst because i need some more serious characterization for her that r-#-not just snippets#then theres. white lily. i feel like im the only person who liked the fact white lily got her own kingdom and was split into two versions.#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE?#her update was a fiasco with how shadow milk stole the show that was meant to be hers.#but like. so many of my opinions are different than the fandoms that i just cant help but feel like an intruder sometimes#i dont want to sound like a pick me or someone who thinks they r special for being different. because im not.#i do not like this feeling. but i needed to be open abt it ig#cookie chat#theres also like. the lack of proper characterization for carrow besides “good loyal soldier”.#that annoys me as hell too#fyi i DO NOT hate dark cacao kingdom to be clear. i love it a ton. the cultural influences are so interesting and i love the setting.#i just wish ppl didnt brush off a lot of systematic flaws abt it.
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highlifeboat · 8 months ago
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I bet she gets tired of being Alcina's go-to, honestly.
Girl can't even have a nice afternoon with her partner without getting yelled at.
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selamat-linting · 21 days ago
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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crimeronan · 2 years ago
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today the house md fandom (which to my surprise both Exists and is apparently Very Active) is passing around a quick meta post i wrote criticizing the show with "YEAAAAHHH THIS IS IT!! THIS IS THE THING!! IT'S MY FAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS SHOW AND IT SUCKS SOOO BAD" which is making me like. 👁👄👁. do i need to get into tumblr house md fandom.
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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago
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the nghy sendoff scene is super cute!!
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from hiyori’s confident smile and “just you wait! i’ll definitely report back with good news (about the track meet)!�� and nagisa’s “yeah, i’m looking forward to it.”, showing his support and faith in her running abilities…
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to their promise to keep in contact…
just… the contrast between nagisa’s slightly lonely look as he tells her “…keep in touch, ‘kay?” and hiyori’s bright smile as she agrees with a “yup! see ya!”…
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and it seems like hiyori’s going to leave just like that, but t h e n
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…she abruptly turns around to give nagisa an especially adorable angelic smile and wave and!!!!!!!!!
nghy are just so precious guys… they deserve all the happiness in the world…
live laugh love nghy!!!
#they’re just sosososososososososooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!#look at how far these two have come since their farewell scene in heroika!!!!!!!#never getting over how funny it is that nagisa’s just there in his wearable merch while seeing a fashionably dressed hiyori off#but well. hoodie x hoodie couple amirite?#though hiyori is getting better dressed as of late… nagisa had better step up his wardrobe game before he wears ft4 merch to his wedding#my hot take is that ​kimikawaii mv should’ve been 10 minutes long#we need to see more of hiyori in fashionable outfits and nagisa being just there in hoodies and ft4 wearable merch#we haven’t even gotten to see him in that lame ft4 bucket hat yet#but. well. that too is part of nagisa’s charm#i do think it’s adorable that she’s grown more confident in wearing cute clothes though#especially since she’s wearing them around nagisa: the guy who made her grow wary of wearing cute clothes (like she wanted to) as kids#it really shows that acknowledging your mistakes instead of brushing them off/denying them/minimising the impact/harm they have caused#does wonders for the recovery of the one who was wronged… i love that for nghy. truly.#guys who acknowledge their mistakes and grow from them are just… sweet in their own way. y’know?#…but i digress!!!!!!!!! in any case live laugh love nghy!!!!!#(​aaaaa i s w e a r i could talk about kimikawaii for hours on end… they’re just so cute………)#i wonder what their next song together would be thoughhhhh… i hope they get a duet next!!!!!!#the dude from gamushara
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago
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My Personal Shadow Magic Headcanons - "Shadow Sickness"
I'm so autistic and lazy so here's another weirdly-worded headcanons post from me at 4 AM (lmk if I need to tag this as anything specific btw
What I'm personally calling "Shadow Sickness" is the official, prolonged version of Backlash - adverse effects that target the practitioner even outside of the duel circle and in their everyday lives. While "Backlash" refers to the immediate and spontaneous barrage of attacks that takes place after a Shadow spell, "Shadow Sickness" is the gradual deterioration of the practitioner's mind, body, and soul. True to the name, this effect likens more to an illness, a virus; something that's alive and slowly takes over until there is nothing healthy left behind. The symptoms are emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual.
While regular Magic has life force within it, Shadow Magic is the only type of magic that can be considered "sentient". Not a thinking being with goals and plans, but something living and breathing with the most basic instincts. It's what's considered "Chaotic" and dangerous about it - the Wizard bends and controls regular Magic, but Shadow Magic can bend and control the Wizard. It is the only type of magic that can "fight back" in its own way.
This sentience is what allows for Shadow Sickness and Backlash to happen - these are purely just the results of it "fighting back". The Shadow Magic is reacting to the practitioner. It's acting by its nature by rearing its head back and snapping the hand that controls it. If the practitioner is NOT sound and secure in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, then Backlash and Shadow Sickness can cause even more adverse effects within the Wizard and as a result can suffer more severely.
Symptoms of Shadow Sickness
Symptoms of Shadow Sickness can vary between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The "virus" affects every single aspect of the being, down to their very life. The severity of these symptoms can also vary depending on certain variables. Unlike a true virus, Shadow Sickness has no "incubation period" and can flare up at any time during which the Wizard is practicing Shadow Magic. These symptoms include:
Physical scarring (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) - one of the only symptoms that comprise of all four categories. Scars may appear on the Wizard's body that take various shapes and forms: most commonly taken after that individual's unsolved trauma. This includes old grudges, previous serious injuries that have not healed correctly, repressed memories, obsessions and delusions, etc. No two scars look the same (i.e. two different wizards who have a fear of spiders will have scars that look entirely different from the other). Depending on the severity these scars can cause physical discomfort (tingling, numbness, pain, leathery skin, decay/cellular deterioration) and can greatly impact how the Wizard looks to others to how the Wizard can move around.
Involuntary movements (physical, mental, spiritual) - the Wizard may begin suffering from accidental and spontaneous gestures and movement that is either randomized or triggered. This can include loss of coordination, disorientation, mini seizures, jerks and spasms, etc. Other than being physically affected, the Wizard is not suffering from any medical emergencies. The individual is fully conscious and aware when this happens and depending on the severity, can recover seconds after. This is one of the only symptoms where others could be harmed due to a wayward hand that comes flying out by accident. There is also a magical version of this, where involuntary spells or bursts of magic can be cast spontaneously (hence the 'spiritual' aspects of this symptom as mana comes from the soul). Usually these magical bursts are Shadow Magic and not the Wizard's primary or secondary Magic abilities. (Another involuntary trait recorded is the Wizard suddenly switching to an ancient "Shadow Language" in mid-speech.)
Hallucinations (physical, mental) - the Wizard may begin to experience things that cannot be detected by any other individual. Usually these hallucinations start out as smells or taste first, but there are reports of the Wizard hearing, sensing, and even seeing things to start out with. Contrary to popular belief not all hallucinations are violent or even turn out to be that way, some reports even describe them as pleasant. Hallucinations vary from each Wizard even with those who share the same traumas or fears. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the Wizard can either be fully aware or completely immersed within them. Since these are only hallucinations they cannot harm the Wizard but can cause further deterioration to the mind.
Depleted energy/"Mana Loss" (physical, spiritual) - as the Shadow Sickness takes hold, eventually the Wizard will be slowly sapped of strength and magical energy. THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM IF THE WIZARD IS SKILLED IN SHADOW MAGIC. A Wizard can practice Shadow Magic and still NOT be affected by this. Since Shadow Magic "takes", Shadow Sickness does the same and gradually depletes the Wizard's energy. Like how Backlash takes health in a duel, Shadow Sickness takes your life. This is the only symptom that is constant in all cases of Shadow Sickness. Not only will the ability to cast spells be taken away, but overall physical health will suffer as well and the individual is more susceptible to regular diseases due to a compromised immune system. This symptom only appears in the very last stages of Shadow Sickness and is the last symptom of the individual experiences in their lifetime.
Tulpas (emotional, mental, spiritual) - contrasting hallucinations, Tulpas are the Wizard's visions made real. A Tulpa (from Shadow Sickness) is a physical and magical manifestation of the Wizard suffering from the Shadow "virus". Although it is born from the subconscious of another being, it is a separate entity all its own and has the ability to make decisions and have feelings and desires. However, these feelings and desires are not really of their own and reflect the Wizard's subconscious fears and threat responses. (i.e. our Azteca Tulpa in Khrysalis that formed due to unresolved survivor's guilt. Its "goal" was to destroy us and fully consume us within itself, similar to how guilt behaves in reality). Tulpas can either be created from visions, nightmares, intense and obsessive thoughts, or even previous hallucinations.
Can Shadow Sickness be reversed, or cured?
Shadow Sickness can be reversed, yes, or more commonly halted. Unless the Wizard is fully submersed in their mental and spiritual anguish ((Malistaire even though he wasn't using shadow magic; Morganthe even though that wasn't what killed her)) Shadow Sickness can be stopped. The road to recovery varies wildly from each person so there is no set "recovery time" in which you are expected to be fully healed. It is your own journey and it is ultimately your say whether or not you are better. Clinically, recovery can be sorted between these categories
HALTED: In which the Shadow Sickness is no longer infecting the individual but the symptoms may still persist. These symptoms do not get worse or better, but the Wizard's mind is clear and their soul is at peace. Wizards may either learn to live comfortably and adapt with their Halted condition or could continue to strive for partial or full recovery.
PARTIAL RECOVERY: In which the Shadow Sickness is reversed slightly or moderately. The effects are not all the way gone but are measured to be better than when the Wizard was still infected. In this state any severe symptoms the Wizard is experiencing are now moderate or slight, or less frequent. Just like in the Halted category, the Wizard is sound of mind, body, and soul.
FULL RECOVERY: In which Shadow Sickness is totally reversed and there are no more symptoms that persist. Full, 100% recovery is actually quite rare in the Spiral and a lot of scholars consider the Full Recovery to count as "70% or more reduced" - meaning the symptoms are very slight and few and far in between. Technically this is still a Partial Recovery but due to the above fact and how difficult it is to reverse Shadow Sickness, 'Full Recovery' is an umbrella term. Some individuals even claim Full Recovery even if their symptoms are moderate, because their mind and soul are no longer diseased.
ONE LAST FACT TO LEAVE OFF WITH: Not every Wizard who practices Shadow Magic suffers from Shadow Sickness, and alternatively even the most skilled Shadowmage can develop Shadow Sickness.
okay this took days. bye hope you liked this
#btw tagging some of these symptoms jic theyre triggering to some#tw seizures#tw hallucinations#lmk if i need to tag anything else#BUT YEAH THIS IS IT#i got lazy at the end but i def wanna expand on this#a few things i wanna talk about more in depth: the 'shadow language' thing and the 'mana comes from the soul' thing#BUT THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO MAKE#giving holly even MORE trauma#due to canon reasons and because i love suffering holly isnt even in the “halted” category#theyre still suffering from ongoing shadow sickness. its progressing a hell of a lot slower than others but shes def feeling it#due to ambrose's thinky veiled threat of always being watched and everyone else unintentionally-#-brushing aside holly's health the shadow sickness remains undetected#except for velma. she sees that shit#but since holly is the master of bottling things up theyre like “ahaha what virus” (throws up black blood)#holly has the scarring as the worst symptom and has a few specific scars i wanna talk about in another post#but they also suffer from hallucinations and the shadow language thing#since holly is unintentionally holding off the worst of the Sickness she doesnt have the mana depletion yet#i think i forgot like maybe one or two symptoms but im so tired ugh. this is all yall are getting for now LMAO#idk if this is even a good post. im proud of it#one symptom i forgot to mention is madness. or i think thats the end result same as depletion#its what morganthe suffered dueing the end of her life as a giant apider creature she just fully succumbed to the madness#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts
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triglycercule · 25 days ago
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ok erm. halloween animation meme lowkey postponed until next year (because i know damn well i'll need a whole year to finish this with my motivation 💀) because i have another much more invigorating and fresh idea that i wanna draw for the mtt. inspired by these 3 fuckass monkeys
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#my bad chat i forgot how shit my procrastination is...... erm#KEEP AN EYE OUT. next year. and i lowkey just dont have the motivation rn school is pissing me off#blame my math teacher its because she caused me to crash out resulting in a hormone imbalance#which resulted in my loss of motivation for that. TRUST 🤞#anyways i think these monkeys suit them a lot. killer dust horror in that order#i feel like dust is the most obvious because like hearing you cannot turn off compared to sight and speaking#to get through the genocides he would need to forcefully push through it while horror and killer already had fucked up mental states#i would say that killer COUKD be see no evil but i thought it would make more sense for him to be speak no evil#because he's constantly plagued by his guilt yet struggles so damn much to ever confront it or even talk about it#also i think it fits more to have his hand over his mouth bc like. when a authority figure wants control#they usually order people to shut up. like imagining a teacher telling their student to be quiet#your voice is one of the most important forms of self expression and killer's autonomy and self have been beaten so bad#he cannot talk about it anymore. he knows its shit since stage 1 exists. he cannot talk about it#and i gave horror see no evil because until dust he didn't have control over what happened to (some) of what happened#and unlike killer he's perfectly fine with expressing how shit things are. but he just refuses to#he rather delude himself and believe that this was all justified even if its shit. he refuses to see the reality because itd destroy him#i love that the saying was originally meant as a way to avoid doing and thinking evil things#but now its associated with turning a blind eye to wrongdoings. like the world's shittiest coping mechanism#USGAH!!!! they all used to be completely normal sanses b4 they got fucked up........#and now theyre all broken and changed and not morally just anymore..... just like the saying's associations!!!!!!!#and i remember that one ancient ddlc offical art#where all the girls were connected into one big piece. and i wanna do something like thst#and make it one big piece. maybe like as a final know no evil thingy#who knows i need to shower and brush my teeth and then i can get to drawing the sketches for this#tricule rant
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palms-upturned · 5 months ago
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miswaken · 4 months ago
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would also just like to say that I obviously love alice as a character, and I very much do not think she is an inherently bad / manipulative / abusive person — which is unfortunately a take I see pop up in the tags from time to time. yes, lying to alan to get him to bright falls for therapy was wrong of her and she knows that. but I think it’s important to remember that the first game takes place after years of alan being a depressed, self-destructive, and occasionally violent (not with alice of course but still) addict. that doesn’t make what she did right, but she’s human and flawed and was very likely at the end of her rope. the bright falls ballad section of herald of darkness flat out says that alice was drowning under the weight of alan’s worst traits and if he’d noticed and addressed it himself maybe this never would’ve happened. the song also says the trip was the last shot at saving their marriage. things were bad! and I think it’s deeply unfair to pin all of it on her like she was some evil uncaring wife who just wanted to institutionalize him and be done with it. and honestly I think it’s also a bad read to assume that she didn’t try to get him help in less direct ways before that, which he probably refused?
similarly, I have to assume she tried other things before the “make him think I’m dead so he hits rock bottom and finally accepts the worst of himself” plan. there’s six years between when the hauntings start and when alice jumps into the lake. you really think she didn’t exhaust all other ideas before that? based on barry’s emails she jumps sometime in the spring of 2023 and the game takes place in september. so again that’s a couple months of attempts before we see the game loop, and considering dark place time isn’t real that’s gods know how many loops of trial and error before we get to these ones that finally work. I don’t think there’s any reason to believe that the fakeout suicide was her first and only method of guiding alan.
I could write an essay about the “voyeuristic and manipulative” (ty sam lake for using the words I’ve been using lol) nature of alice’s role in the story and how it reflects the very nature of her artistic medium itself. and I do think there’s an element of her being desensitized to the Horrors a bit and she’s definitely tunnel visioned trying to get this right. but again, this is last ditch desperation at play. she’s navigating these horrible life situations and literal nightmare scenarios as best she can while trying to drag alan out of his hole at the same time. and while her handling of it all might not be perfect she is a haunted woman with problems of her own who is simply trying her best!!
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anarchne · 5 months ago
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i wish i could remove the word “adopt” from kept peoples’ vernacular lol
#they constantly say shit about ‘adopting’ people and it’s so fucking weird to me#like it’s this cute and flippant thing and a sign of enjoying something#or whatever#and especially in fandom they use it for their blorbos and say they want to adopt fictional children and i hate it#adoption is not serious to people who are not adoptees at all and as adoptees we are taught to downplay the severity of our experiences#because if we say ‘hey that’s not funny’ then we get told told we are being too sensitive#we are a marginalized community that’s not even recognized as such and it absolutely fucking sucks and our trauma isn’t funny or cute l#joking about adopting people and characters is weird if u know what adoption really is#it is a LEGAL process that changes our identities and erases all biological lineage and seals our records (sometimes forever)#adoptees are 4x more likely to have mental health issues and substance abuse problems and we are more likely to be abused by our parents#and yet kept people wct as if we are not real people. we are constantly dehumanized in many ways#either adoption is romanticized or it’s a joke and either we are not human as our problems are brushed off#or we are not human and get verbally abused whenever we say something about how experiences aren’t always sunshine and rainbows#not to mention the fact that we are infantilized as well#it’s just… adoption is a different way of experiencing life. like my worldview is entirely different than someone who is non-adopted#there are things that have never even crossed their minds. they couldn’t imagine not knowing what their parents look like#or knowing their siblings or cousins or having multiple birth certificates or having a price tag over their head#yet adoption is just casual for them. it’s no big deal. YEAH IT’S NBD BECAUSE U ARENT ADOPTED!!!!!!!#keep our experiences out of your fucking mouth!!!!!!!#but someone will probably say im being dramatic or too emotional or whatever for being upset#like sorryyyyy. my bad! how overdramtic of me to be upset about not having the same rights as other people and not laughing along with them#god fucking dammit#adoptee voices#adoptee#adoption#adoption in fandom
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