#and yet i can't look away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bluesey-182 · 1 year ago

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this book im reading is giving every indication that it takes place in the 1920/30s and yet. and fucking yet the main character starts singing a taylor swift song. get out of my face. please just fucking decide what time period your book takes place in instead of doing this. it also has some of the dumbest takes and brings too much dumb internet discourse straight onto the pages. the main character actually said the line "or maybe he's gaslighting me?" shut up

#i think im getting too old for YA but this is still just so bad #and yet i can't look away #ngl i got this secondhand as a fairyloot edition bc it came out in the YA box after i switched my subscription to the adult book #and the early access sale for book 2 is coming up so i thought this was a good time to read it in case i wanted to buy the matching edition #of the sequel. which will not be happening. IF i decide to read it (which. i probably won't) I'll get the library book #text post #also to clarify cause idk if my tags were confusing:#i didn't buy the book to decide if i wanted to take part in the early access sale #i bought it a few months back bc i was genuinely excited about the release and was bummed i missed out on the pretty fairyloot edition #and found it on pango book for like $11 and ordered it #the book 2 release motivated me to finally pick it up today #alas. it is a huge let down

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ruporas · 2 years ago

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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

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equill · 4 months ago

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Reuniting with a distorted past.

Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)

wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay

Panel 1: Was buried alive.

Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?

new friends

Comic 2: Misguided protection.

obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster

Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)

obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from

#naruto #naruto fanart #kakashi hatake #rin nohara #obito uchiha #naruto sukea #fanart #art #my art #sketch #drawing #digital art #hope i can add something new and if not may i shall add fuel to the fire for rin!! :)#So Rin loses ALL of her memories forever (kinda)#the only thing that remains for sure is the feeling of missing something that she'll never reach it again #she's alone and is left to roam directionless until she meets an elderly civilian that is also alone #she stays with her for a year+ but she passes away. But Rin with her new identity decides to walk forward (with love comes pain #but to love at all was the greatest thing to her.) She cherishes her new memories and won't let it stop her from moving on #inbetween this time frame she meets isobu in her mind after he gains enough form within her (who is also without memories)#Now WAY LATER she meets Sukea who looks like he's about to panic and she tries to help (which uh doesnt work too well)#but then Sukea joins her on her travels (sending minato an letter through his summons of rin being alive and forgetting the mission)#they both wander around (he doesnt know how to bring up their past) but then obito appears (always at the wrong times)#At first glance he's pissed but then realizes that this isnt fake AND its both the worse thing yet best thing to ever happen #Now Rin thinks she made two new friends who give her feelings of warmth but they both also reminded her of something old she thinks #PS Minato and Kushina are freaking out back in the village but can't do anything about it (Obito hasn't acted on his plans yet so yes)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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MDZS x Hollow Knight Part 3: The Rebugging

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #hollow knight #mdzs au #mdzs hollow knight au #Thecornermushroom's fanart re-awoke the art of my brain where the bugs live. I drew this in a mad frenzy in the middle of the night.#I'll never be the same again. In the most positive way ever I think I have been permanently changed by that art.#I will eventually do the reverse crossover but for now - take some extra bugs!#It is so wild looking back at the past parts - I really do love drawing in this style but I'm far more comfortable with it now!#I am just vibrating with so much art energy. I am loose and in your vicinity. You can't catch me. I have bugs to show people.#This is a bit of a time capsule considering that these are references to where pd-mdzs the comic is at in the story.#More notes: Wen Zhuliu is an ant and Wang Lingjiao is a firefly.#Yes I have yet to explain the juicebox. We are a handful of comics away from that pay off.

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neondoctrine · 7 months ago

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Oh good, I know for sure I'm not alone as I continue to hyperfixate on this wonderful CW network trash show and the incredibly talented fan fiction writers that should have written the show in the first place.

Nobody:

me: im gonna read fanfiction and watch 15 seasons of the best worst tv ever made

#destiel #Give dean peace #Because I can't handle his misery anymore #And yet I can't look away

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ohshinytrinketsmine · 11 months ago

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Sulky kid. Have you stopped sulking? Who's sulking? Oops, you're secretly smiling. What? Please smile.

Pit Babe, ep 6

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crownedinmarigolds · 6 months ago

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Because we went to Renfaire I imagined all the OCs going to Renfaire but Ralph and Khlo seem the absolute most likely out of all of the OCs to actually go if there was a night time weekend. Ralph is a Satyr (because I straight up think it's hot no other reason because he'd probably otherwise definitely be a cool warrior) and Khloe is basic tavern wench chic. <3

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vitanithepure · 1 year ago

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Ah, yes. "Love".

#booted up the game to have fun #instead I'm making myself sad #yet I can't look away #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #bloodweave #bg spoilers

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vaguely-concerned · 6 days ago

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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all

#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him #it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain #I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded #what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually #'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically #on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here #it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside #ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me #'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age #dragon age spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard #rook x lucanis #lucanis dellamorte #rookanis #rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training #('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house #(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love #the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me

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corpocyborg · 7 days ago

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(so... uh... how far into dai do you have to get before it starts being good?)

#i thought da2 was worse than dao in almost every way #repetitive undetailed environments boring combat less player influence over the story less customization of the player character etc.#but it had one shining redeeming quality #and that was the characters #who i actually cared about more than the characters in dao #and lucky for da2 characters are the most important aspect of a game (for me at least)#and good characters can carry an otherwise mediocre game pretty damn far #but i have yet to find the redeeming quality of dai #i mean... it's pretty i guess? though i still needed mods to make a character that looks decent bc the character creator was lacking #but the environment is pretty and detailed i will give it that #but i've been at this eight hours and almost every quest is just go get an item and then go bring it to someone?#there's really minimal story to these quests #and the characters seem interesting but i've barely had opportunities to talk to them #even the ambient party dialogue seems significantly rarer than it was in either dao or da2 #why should i care about people i'm not getting to know?#also do they really just go with 'templars and mages are both equally evil & crazy and we're gonna need to just kill all of them you see'#surely that can't be the whole conclusion to the templar-mage war?? there has to be more right??#i'll keep playing bc hopefully it gets better #to be fair i didn't actually like da2 until act 2 #i liked dao right away but it still took a bit to get really good #so i think there's still potential here #we will see i suppose #dragon age #dai #dragon age critical

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cconfusedkat · 22 days ago

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Ok so um. Eventful first day. I have a blended schedule so i have short school days

Everyone is chill in algebra 1 nd academic literature ,,

History and english arw gonna be a bit of a problem cuz the 16-18 yr old boys are. Yknow. Probably gonna annoy me to death

And uhh homeroom is just homeroom

I masked really hard though nd came home sobbing just cuz im not gonna be used to masking again in a school setting,,

#sydneys thoughts #Look i know i got over my bullies from the past few years and all #But it might be a bit difficult if the problem persists again #I already have a fragile self esteem i am not ready to experience cyberbullying making fun of my looks and behavior #Hhhhh #If i dont like it ill just consider dropping out cuz i can't go back online nd that's my only better option yet its taken away from me now #Sorry a bit of a rant um Im Fine i suppose i just feel really emotional over having to explain my disability over and over and over.and +#+ stillbeing treated like im stupid #Like okay i get it you think im stupid what else do you expect #Sorry #Might not be myself much recent now im just extremely emotional over masking and being picked on again

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an-ruraiocht · 3 months ago

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sometimes it's like. i don't really wanna have an opinion about this in public because i don't feel that strongly. but a lot of people are having ill informed opinions about it and i don't feel i can offer correct information without also an opinion. so i just have to suffer

#this is about nanowrimo lmao #having been involved with nano for fifteen years i can promise it was always a website/organised thing #and there WERE reasons for the website to exist and the community of the forums was a huge part of it #now they totally fucked that up a few years back but originally it was a massive part of it #especially bc when i joined nano twitter was like... barely a thing?#there were so few ways of finding a writing community at the time #very few wordcount trackers you didn't have to build yourself in excel etc #it had reasons to exist at the beginning. i would argue it has much less reason to exist now #but it wasn't a subsequent 'cashing in' on a concept #anyway.#the reason i don't have strong opinions about the current fuckery beyond an eye roll #is that i already walked away from being invested in nano because there has been So. Much. Fuckery #this is a nail in a coffin I'd already accepted was buried #and i get that people are more likely to care about the ai thing #as like. symbolic of wider societal issues or whatever #vs grooming and harassment and racism and firing all the MLs #bc that affects people in the community much more than people inside it #but. look. if you're gonna expound upon it #consider that nanowrimo started in 1999 and forums were THE way to connect with people online #and the website as it grew in the 00s primarily revolved around the forums #and continued to do so through the 2010s #and that no it wasn't just a social media challenge bc social media didn't exist yet #there IS a reason nanowrimo has a centralised website and organisation #it wouldn't exist without them #bc I can't be arsed to explain this again #*more than people OUTSIDE it

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talesoflore · 9 months ago

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I try and make it a point to avoid swearing but what the fuck do you guys mean by another secret project

#no i haven't watched the video yet yes i am going to do it right now but there is NO WAY #brandon sanderson #is this man insane #look i'm surviving on denial here i am 2.5 seconds away from a stroke i have an exam the day after tomorrow #HE CAN'T KEEP DOING STUFF LIKE THIS

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transmechanicus · 7 months ago

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I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.

#my stuff #if you look me in the eyes and say you don't 'get' Sleep Token's Apparition or Take Me Back To Eden in general...#like what even is there to say. they're about waking up from bittersweet dreams abt ppl you can't see anymore for reasons you didn't choose #and longing to return to experiences that cannot be recreated if the people you love don't make the effort to hold onto it like you do.#i am quite literally sick with longing and grief these past couple days and these are the only songs keeping me halfway sane #this all could have gone so very different. i know where you are. i know how to reach you. but i can't. you asked me not to.#so i have to cope with the knowledge that you're a short walk away almost every day and yet I'll probably never see you again #and it's not because i did anything wrong you're just the sort of person who can't be friends with someone after a romance #and your goodbye was absolute shit and i hate it and i want some fucking shred of acknowledgement that i deserve better!!!!#i want to know you aren't just trying to forget me entirely!! I want to be remembered!! I am remembering you!!

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outlying-hyppocrate · 3 months ago

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well. did you fucking miss me.

#random thoughts #apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it #i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful #which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain #i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough #and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary #fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW #I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT #I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW #(<- tags canceled for now)

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triglycercule · 5 days ago

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eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj

#im so tired maaaan eudgahhhhhh #i need to come up with more asks to ask people #because apparently i want to do that now. whats wrong with you brain why do you want this #im so TIRED i could EAT a WHALE!#i need to DO IT. I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO A FUCKING KILLER ANALYSIS ITS BEEN TOO LONG #thanksgiving break is coming up will that be enough for me to want to study him with my magnifying glass #this feels like sans and papyrus are the energy controlling angel and demons on my shoulders #speaking of classic undertale this has actually nothing to do with undertale LMAO #but i can just imagine myself as chara in the murder time trio fangame fight #aaaahahahahahaha horror would be so maaad <33333 i DID just destroy his entire au after all :333 #and dust would be FURIOUS!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!! SO PISSED AT ME!!!!#i just took away one's place of achieving a goal and another's place of demented comfort #yeaaaah those two would be SO pissed heehehehehehe #horror never gets to have his potential happy ending because i took it away #dust never gets to honor all those he killed and put an end to what he did because of ME #the murder time trio fangame concept is SO underrated guys. touken-kamui's mtt is AMAZING #and because i look like a chara of course killer's got an entire internal conflict going on #FUCK alright sure. unsure of where this thought process will lead but we ball. me when thinking about anything killer related (i am unsure)#ANOTHER fucking chara messed up his life eruaghhhh and to make things worse they dont even seem to LIKE something new #touken-kamui's chara seems to be a megalomaniac instead of a shitty sadistic scientist #i would look so similar to the one that he doesn't know if he hates or not #should he fight alongside these 2 strangers or should he submit like he always did to his chara. to this NEW chara???#and this is all just assuming this is that 1 ending where killer kills chara and hasnt met nm yet (my favorite ending)#EFUAGH!!!! would killer stay back after the first few minutes. let dust and horror fight in steed of him as he deals w this #the two would be SO annoyed at him too. at this point if i wasn't there they'd probably kill eachother. or killer #well killer can't save or reset in the judgement hall that we got sucked into #so he actually has to put some value to his body and life if he wants to fight me #SEE WHAT I MEAN TOUKEN-KAMUI'S MURDER TIME TRIO IS AWESOME!!!!!#tricule rant #this got totally off topic from what the post was about but i should do it

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