#and yet here I am throwing it out there

[czigonas]

I have a few too many WIPs to do this right now, so I'll keep it on the back burner for later (or maybe someone else will be inspired). Either way, I was thinking of old works the other day and remembered Dust My Broom (DXHR/MD, Jensen/Pritchard; it's short, I encourage a read) and it got me thinking.

Removable Hearts AU Soap/Ghost

Now, as far as I know, there are only a few fics with the trope (there were three when I wrote the fourth, now there are four more in the unofficial tag) so the 'rules' are still a bit up in the air. However, the main parts are that the physical removal of one's heart does not fully cut off emotions, only dulls them.

The practice isn't well known - definitely more folktale than anything else - and those who have their hearts out usually keep the fact very secret. One cannot be mind controlled by the holder of their heart but, if it's destroyed, the person will die. (The person can die in other ways as well and the heart will stop beating, but they're otherwise separated.) Physical distance dulls the emotions even more, as does prolonged removal. This comes with the downside of abrupt reintroduction to the full force of whatever emotions the person is feeling when the heart is returned to them, which can go very badly if not regulated properly.

With all that in mind, the obvious starting point would be that Ghost's heart has been removed and hidden somewhere, but when, where, and by whom? Options:

Ghost's father took it out when he was young. It was just another way to control and hurt his child. Papa Riley finds out fast that the mind control rumours aren't real, but he can still use the threat of harm to the heart to keep Simon in line. Plus, the sustained separation from his heart at a young age severely stunts Ghost's emotional intelligence, pushing him away from his peers and making him seem cold and unfriendly. Ironically, this helps him survive Roba. They can't take his heart like they did everyone else, and they can't torture or kill him with it. This makes their other torture of him worse, but his long-term dissociation from his emotional centre (both the physical distance from England to Mexico and the metaphysical distance from having it out of his chest for so long) helps to keep him from breaking. Ghost retrieves his heart only after his family has been killed and he finally confronts his father. (Papa Riley doesn't tell him where it is, but he only had so many hiding spots and there has always been a tug in Ghost's chest, calling him back to it.) He doesn't put it back in his chest though. Having his heart out has made him a more efficient operator, in his mind, so he stashes it in his room on base and resolves to just continue on as he has been. Until Johnny.

Roba is the one to remove Simon's heart. Just another way to torture his captives and, even if the mind control rumours are fake, it's so, so much easier to break a man's mind when you can see what makes his pulse jump and you hold his heart in your hand literally. What beautiful torture to take the heart, make someone watch their comrades die, and then give it back to break the mind under the full force of the shame and survivor's guilt. Roba buries Simon's heart not in the grave with him and Vernon, but nearby in the grave of another of his victims. Simon leaves it there when he digs himself out because clearly it's safer in an unmarked grave than in his own chest. After Las Almas though, Ghost makes a secret trip out to retrieve it (probably with Price's approval, since the Captain would have been informed that Ghost's heart was out and probably learned where it was at some point in the course of them working together) and stashes it in his room back on base. He refuses to look into why he wanted it closer though (the answer is Johnny still).

Ghost himself decided to remove his heart after his family was killed. He buries it with them (or near them) because he doesn't ever want to be that hurt again. He's resistant to the idea of putting it back in, even as he gets closer to Johnny. He's not even sure how to bring up the fact that it's not in his chest. He starts making bargains with himself - once Hassan is dead, once they kill Shepherd, once Makarov is dead - he'll come clean and take Johnny with him to get it and put it back. Of course it doesn't necessarily work out that way. (I need a happy ending though, so I think that even if Soap is hurt by such a secret being kept, he'll come around and realise that if what he and Ghost shared was good already, it can only be that much better now that Simon has access to the full depth of his feelings again.)

A less personally tragic option (but more dystopian) is that the SAS removes the hearts of all of their active operators. They're kept on base in special storage - it's much easier to monitor them and be able to declare someone KIA vs just MIA when you can see their heart stop - until a mission requires it in (undercover, etc.) or they're discharged/reassigned. Now Price's Task Force... well, he doesn't condone that. But he can't go against the rules quite so blatantly, so instead he collects and stashes the hearts of all his operatives in a place only he knows. Maybe he lets Laswell in on it, but I'm not sure he trusts her that much. And this saves them! Because Shepherd has his fingers in so many pies. When the betrayal in Las Almas is going down, Shepherd has someone tearing through the base storage facility, trying to find the hearts of the 141 so he can take them out now that they can no longer be controlled. Once they set out on the hunt for Makarov and Shepherd, they'll all have to decide for themselves whether to put them back in or not (Johnny does it immediately. He's always felt lesser with it out. Gaz follows not long after. Price and Simon take longer to decide.)

There's so many more ways this could go, including Soap being the one who has had his heart removed and no one knows, but I'll let that percolate a little longer and make another post if I think of something more solid.

[yudol-skorbi]

and what if i go insane

[brynnmclean]

saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:

First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.

The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.

If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?

At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.

In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.

One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[crescentfool]

i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)

when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.

but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.

in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)

meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.

with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.

FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.

and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.

the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.

i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…

of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."

in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!

at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yk, its weird being Way Too Aware & In Control of yourself bc technically i believe im having a panic attack. but somehow i am Very Unbothered by this, bc i know whats happening and its illogical. my body's having an overreaction and i couldn't be fucked to join in

[kenobion]

Andrew Garfield for Netflix

[squuote]

I know I’ve already made a post about the parable but I do wanna also say I adore how on first glance, it’s a generic office setting until you start actually observing it closely. but more specifically the way the white glow from the windows is meant to be like, sunlight shining into the building. but then when you finally pause to take a peak of the outside world, you’re only to be met with a seemingly never ending white void. idk perhaps I am focusing so much on such a small thing but it’s just. such a thing to process. the way everything is so normal when you don’t look into the small details.

[sheliesshattered]

somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit

[fragmentofmemories]

while i was drawing characters for [REDACTED] i was thinking "hey i should probably draw a maid with short, purple hair and have her be the innkeeper."

then i remembered eou did that and i've never sulked so hard before...

[lesbiradshaw]

Liam is numb. He tries to cling on to it, all too aware that whatever comes next will be so much worse. Maybe Theo was right about most people feeling one emotion at a time, but Liam isn’t so sure he was right about that being true for Liam. Not totally. Sometimes Liam thinks his problem really lies within the fact that his brain is fucked up in a way that makes him feel everything at once. Anger is just what tends to be dominant, pulsing through him at a near constant thrum that makes it easy for his temper to flare up at the first sign of something to spark it off.

Right now, numbness sounds appealing in comparison. Being angry takes energy, and after everything that’s just happened… maybe feeling empty isn’t so bad.

Is this what Theo thinks like when he’s trying to tamp his emotions down? Out of sight, out of mind?

Is this what he’s been trying to do when it comes to Liam? Push his feelings so far away it’s like they don’t even exist?

God. What a lonely way to live.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[sage-nebula]

Resumed my Trials & Tribulations playthrough and was like, you know what, maybe T&T really does deserve all the hype and really is the best in the og trilogy despite my favorite case being in JFA (and my second favorite case being in PWAA). After all, both 3-1 and 3-2 are both bangers.

. . . and then I got to 3-3 😬

[abadbutsadcollective]

When you're a fictive from a source you haven't explored fully yet and you keep seeing people looking for people from that source but you don't want spoilers so you just sit there in your little corner, vibrating and mentally bouncing off the walls with the desire to SPEAK.

[poppy-enderkin]

btw a new development

-points at our brain- worstie is in there

[whsprings]

yippee.