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anyarose011 · 2 days ago

Text

Agape

Pairing: Lucius x Reader

Summary: After the Roman Empire had fallen, birthing the Republic, you and Lucius had finally found a moment to breathe in each other's presence. Over a few years' journey of healing, you find that is both exhausting, yet all the more fulfilling at the same time.

Part 2 of 2 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Past SA, Depictions of Grief, Violence, Angst, Miscommunication, Historical Inaccuracies [I tried my best to make it kind of accurate], Nudity (sexual and non-sexual), Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex (f receiving), P in V Sex

Paul Mescal's facial hair in All of Us Strangers, if you can hear us, please save us. Nobody ask me how I went from "’Oh, I’m just gonna write some scenes about healing from trauma, and the rest is smut! Easy!" to then making it just a little longer than the first part. I'm a yapper, but holy shit XD. Anyway, this is just shameless pRopAgAnDa at what I personally view a husband to act like (even in modern times). So, without further ado, thousands of words of hurt/comfort and smut.

Word Count: 16.4k

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You were a lucky child. When you were twelve and your friend was married off to a man who was forty-two, you asked your father when you would be married.

He tucked you in that night, saying that he wasn’t certain, and that you had nothing to fear; for he wouldn’t promise you to a man who was in a war the same year you were born. He would have to know him personally as well, saying.

“It’s easier to like a man than have to plan his assassination if he dared lay a hand on you.”

You like to think he would have approved of Lucius; he was the once heir to the Roman Empire.

You don’t think he would have approved of your…informal marriage.

“A year.” Lucius stated as the two of you sat together in one of the piazzas. “As long as we are not separated from each other for more than three days, Rome will view us as married if we live in the same household for a year.”

You hummed. “And why should we care what Rome views?”

“Men won’t stop their advances on you if they saw you as my sister.” he explained. “Even as a wife, that doesn’t stir them.”

“It’s a very Christian belief of you to have.”

“But it makes them think thoroughly on if they want to risk tainting you.” Lucius finally looked at you. “Knowing that I would break every finger they touched you with.”

Even with his proclamation, you merely shrugged. “Being the emperor’s favorite whore, I doubt they would care.”

He sighed. “Do you want to know what my mother wrote? Her final words that will forever be with me because they are in ink? ‘Take her as your wife.’”

It had only been one day since Lucilla’s death, since Rome had become a Republic, and no one knew exactly what to do.

Yet…even at the mention of her presence, you felt tears spring to your eyes.

How you hated crying; and crying and crying.

“It is wise.” You finally settled on. “The people here too must see me as a traitor.”

“You would be dead if they did.”

“It’s still early.” You smiled sadly. “I desired to be free of the emperors, but all they must have saw was lust for power.”

Lucius sighed. “If it is a concern, then I believe it is best to leave Rome.”

Suddenly, you were no longer afraid for your life. You scowled. “Leave the city you risked your life to liberate?”

“It is not just my own life I need to think of now, is it?”

“Then think of mine.” you began. “I don’t wish to leave. Where would we even go? I know nothing outside of Rome.”

This would have been solved if you somehow still had the house you grew up in. The moment Geta claimed you, it was gone. Even with the fall of the Empire, and the birth of the Republic, you could not take it back.

Among many other things, you could not take it back.

“We’ll live just outside the walls.” Lucius suggested. “A farm perhaps a few miles from here-.”

“-A farm?” You questioned. “You know how to farm? Because I sure don’t.”

“I’ve lived longer on a farm than I have in a palace.”

It shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. You also weren’t in the position to bargain. Even though it wasn’t going to be what most would deem an ‘official’ marriage, he still owned you. That was how it always was, whether living outside of the Roman walls or not. Still, you had to try.

“I will learn as much as I need to,” You shook your head. “but I will find a job in the city. You cannot believe I will be shut out-.”

“-Do you want to share a room, or would you like your own?”

You furrowed your brow. “What?”

Lucius restated. “We don’t have any money to buy a farm, so I’ll build us one. Do you want your own room?”

You had only known him for a grand total of a day and a half (if you were to add up all the previous times you had spoken to him before Macrinus’ death), so needless to say, his offer shocked you; more so, it impressed you.

“Isn’t it odd for a man and wife to not share a bed?” You asked.

“So, you want to share a room?”

“No.” was your immediate response. “I just…”

Am not used to compromising with men without them threatening my life.

“Won’t it cost money to build a house?” You asked instead. “None the less, more for another room?”

“I only want you to be happy, if we’re to be married.”

There you were, asking every question and not being satisfied with his answers, yet he was remaining patient.

“Thank you.” You bowed your head in thanks for just a second before questioning. “I am still allowed to have a job in the city? It will help with the cost, of course.”

“Where exactly do you intend to work?”

He said your name; not ‘Julia’, the name you had whispered to him in his cell. Lucius was the only one who had said it to you, for you did not even tell Lucilla or Marcus. It still felt strange hearing it on your lips, nonetheless, his.

Still, shaking your discomfort away, you hummed humorlessly. “I know two women who run their own businesses; hairdressing and tailoring. I’m better at hair than clothes, but not so much. And you?”

He sighed. “I’ll see if there’s any other farmers needing a hand.”

“You’re going to work for a farmer to build a farm?”

“It sounded more bizarre in your head than when you said it aloud, did it not?”

That was the first thing you found out about Lucius after all the bloodshed and heartbreak of the last week:

He spoke with such a straight tone, you did not know he was joking until he would smile just a hint; you couldn’t really call it a true smile.

You managed to grin. “I suppose it makes sense. You should find one that will let us sleep there.”

And he did. A farm just a few miles outside of Rome took both you and Lucius in. It was substantial, housing five chickens, two cows, three pigs, four horses, and seven human children. Albeit the children helped with the chores, but the eldest was only ten and could not manage any of the heavy lifting whatsoever, which was where Lucius came in.

From sun up to sun down, he’d work on the farm. The farmers, Atticus and Diana, let you sleep in the barn of all places. The hayloft was nice for the both of you; enough space to spread out but not be right next to each other. There was also somewhat of a wall between the two of you, giving the illusion of separate rooms.

It was certainly an adjustment for you; had been sleeping on the softest of beds for months, but even so, you just missed the bed from your old house.

Lucius fell asleep the second he laid on the hay.

Dreams and nightmares were always a peculiar thing. Some days, you would dream of your mother and father, some days, they would be of Lucilla and Marcus.

You had nightmares of what befell you before coming to the farm; Macrinus and his manipulation, Caracalla’s temper, Geta…

Yet, the worst that would happen would be you waking up more tired than the night prior. You knew Lucius was having nightmares too, but every time you approached him, he would lie and say he was fine, or simply not want to speak of it.

You stopped asking.

For the first few days on the farm, you were put to work by watching over the younger children when their mother was busy. Somehow, it was the older ones you didn’t mind, it was the youngest baby who was a handful.

It’s morbid to say, but you always wondered how any of them survived infancy.

Luckily, you managed to get back to Rome after perhaps a week of being stranded on the farm. It was almost an hour walk, and you had gotten up even before Lucius had, but it was worth it.

It wasn’t that you felt dead as you were on the farm per say, but walking through the streets brought a certain kind of life back into your steps.

You spent a good portion of the day trying to find the hairdressers you talk to Lucius about. Just as you were about to give up and try again tomorrow, something caught your ear.

Hebrew.

You turned over your shoulder and saw a man speaking in Latin to another man and a pregnant woman. The father had spoken in broken Latin before turning to his wife, speaking quickly in Hebrew as if to ask her what to say.

One of the men began to yell, and you rushed over, speaking to the patriarch of the family.

“What’s going on?” You asked quickly.

His eyes grew as if you were the first person in Rome to understand him (you probably were). “I paid for a bag of peaches fairly; two bronze, yet they’re saying it wasn’t enough.”

You turned to the men behind you. “He says he gave you two bronze for the peaches.”

“It was three.” The Roman man gritted his teeth.

Tilting your head, you tried. “Show me your stand so we may see.”

It was perhaps stupid of you to challenge him; yet, he controlled his tempter and led you to his fruit stand. The sign by the peaches indeed said ‘2’, but there was also a good amount of peaches blocking the bottom half of the sign.

When you moved a few, it read ‘3’.

You smiled, looking at the man who spoke Hebrew. “It is three, but it’s not your fault this brute didn’t notice either.”

He nodded, returning your grin before handing the men another copper. With an few mumbled exchanges, the man and his wife were on their way.

“You have Judeans in your family?” The man crudely asked.

Still, you decided to reciprocate his crassness with kindness. “I actually speak five languages.”

He rose his brows. “Is that a fact?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

He hummed, holding his hand out. “Isidorus.”

“Julia.” Was your immediate response as he took your hand and kissed your knuckles. It wasn’t even your own choice to say that name; it was what you lived by. Retracting your hand, you shake your head and said your own name. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-.”

“-All of Rome knows who you are.” He interrupted. “Do not be afraid of your own people. Most of them were there simply a week ago when you tried to slay Macrinus but was there to comfort lady Lucilla in her final moments.”

You only nodded, not wanting to be praised. “I thank you for your kindness.”

“With certain.” He nodded. “You are with child; only a monster would harm a woman carrying.”

The events of the past weeks had made you forgotten about the false babe. Luckily, the fear upon your face could be used to your advantage.

“Are you not well?” Isidorus questioned.

You dropped your gaze, stammering your tone. “The…I lost the child.”

He looked down as well. “Oh…I’m so sorry.”

“No,” you shook your head. “it’s…it feels odd. His father was terrible but…”

“Why are you perusing Rome unchaperoned?” He changed the subject.

“My betrothed is being put to work,” you immediately answered. “and I am scouring the streets to find my own.”

“What has your luck been?”

“Nothing.”

Isidorus hummed. “I could change that.”

Even at the thought of what he was alluding to, you smiled. “Good sir, I am not in the position to sell my body-.”

“-None of that.” he waved his hand. “My brother works down at the entrance of the city gates. They’re always in need of translators.”

You nodded, considering. “When may I meet with him?”

“Tomorrow?” He asked. “Midday at the gates with many people watching so you do not feel threatened?”

The two of you laughed, and you agreed. “I shall be there. Thank you.”

“Anything to help a woman of the people.”

You walked all the way back to the farm with a skip in your step. Even at dinner, you were more talkative with the rest of the family. Lucius certainly took notice as the two of you were settling down for the night.

“You seemed better today.” He complimented, laying onto his bed of hay.

“So, I’ve been absolutely horrible the rest?” You teased, peeking around the wall of the hayloft.

“No, just what I think you were like before everything; more yourself.” He explained. “Did the hairdressers go well?”

Leaning against the wall, you crossed your arms. “I’m actually working as a translator down by the city entrance.”

He gave you a look. “How’d this come about?”

“Well,” you began. “I overheard two men arguing, one was speaking Hebrew, and I asked him what was wrong. There was a misunderstanding over peaches of all things, I helped them talk it out, and it was solved with no bloodshed. The vendor said his brother works at the gates and is always in need of translators and offered to meet with him tomorrow. It will be midday and so many people around; do not worry.”

Lucius nodded. “I’ll accompany you.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? I shall be fine.”

“I have no doubt you would.” You knew that was a lie. “One of the scythes broke today, I’ll need to buy another one in the city.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not, but it wouldn’t surprise you if Lucius would sneak out in the night and break equipment simply to go with you.

Sighing, you went behind the wall to your side of the hayloft. “Fine.”

To no one but Lucius’ surprise, Isidorus had not lied about his brother, nor the job offer. Of course, the brother had been off put at a woman being the translator (because everyone knows that they are the lesser sex). Still, after some convincing (you talked to a Greek family, a man from Anatolia, and two brothers from Persia), he said you could be put to work.

Lucius stood there the whole hour you had proved yourself.

“You couldn’t have gotten the scythe while I worked?” You questioned him while walking home.

He kept his gaze on the road before him, carrying the farm equipment. “It was engaging to watch.”

You hummed. “I could see how engaged you were while you stood like this.” You crossed your arms and scowled.

“I did not look like that.” He scoffed.

“You did so!” You refuted, lowering your voice. “My name is Lucius Verus Aurelius, the Last Gladiator, son of Lucilla and Maximus, grandson of Marcus Aurelius.”

He looked down, mouth upturning a little. “I do not sound like that.”

“Is that a smile?!” you gasped. “Gods above, I never thought you could unless you were attempting humor!

“Away with you, woman.”

You only laughed as the sun was starting to set.

There was something called a “Fullmoon” period in a marriage. Most now would say it’s “Honeymoon”, but the period in time where a man and woman were in a complete state of euphoria together was called “Fullmoon” because it only lasted for a month.

You and Lucius (even with your strange circumstance) were not immune to this.

A month later, when you had fully settled into a mundane life of working in different areas for hours upon hours, the only times you saw Lucius was when you ate dinner with the farmer’s family, and before going to bed.

It didn’t’ effect you that much for the first three months, as you both were still on good terms and were fine simply cohabitating without affection. This marriage was purely for protection and to honor Lucilla’s wishes.

Then…Lucius came to you one day, saying that together, you both had enough money to build a farm. He already had a patch of land picked out from the help of the famer who employed him. It was five miles away from the farm you stayed at. Five miles more of a journey to the city.

You would move in once the walls were built, which he said would only take a week or two.

It was too fast for you.

Still, you had to go along with it, because you were to be his wife; nothing more. Even so, nothing out of the ordinary besides your hidden, simmering annoyance happened between you two.

The first day construction was to be done was when light was shed upon it.

“Lucius!” You called his name as you approached him and a few other men hauling the wood and stone that would be used. It was mid-twilight when you ran to them.

He furrowed his brow, walking towards you. “Aren’t you meant to be in the city?”

Grinning from ear to ear, you shook your head. “I asked for the day off because of the house. He said I-.”

“-You need to go back and tell him you’ll work.”

Your smile fell from his usual, monotone demeanor. “He doesn’t expect me to come in today-.”

“-Then he’ll be happy to see you.”

“May I just talk for a moment?!” You yelled.

His said nothing.

Sighing, you began. “I will be useful in any capacity. If you need me to help dig for water, measure supports, lift anything-.”

“-Your shoulder cannot carry-.”

You retorted. “-It might be the shoulder you shot, but it’s the shoulder I have to live with, and I will tell you if something is too heavy to carry.”

It hadn’t been the first time you brought up your shoulder after Rome was free. Yet, in the past, it was always out of good fun; something to say to him when you didn’t want to carry as little as an egg from the chicken coop. You told the children the story too why you had to set one of them down after carrying her for so long.

You expected them to cower away from Lucius when he returned for supper, but instead, they all tackled him to the ground to defend your honor.

They didn’t hurt him of course, and you laughed until you couldn’t breathe.

Yet, at that moment, you said it with nothing but disdain; and he heard it in every word. You thought it would have been enough to guilt him into letting you help, you made sure of it.

Lucius titled his head back toward the main road. “Go on, now. The sun will be up soon, it’ll be better to walk without daylight beating down on you.”

The audacity he had. Usually, on the times you’d have disagreements of sorts, you’d try to leave with dignity; perhaps a word of sarcasm or two.

No, you simply turned on your heel and marched away in a huff.

You were harsher that day when translating, and you were still angry by the time the day ended. You ate dinner outside by yourself (until three of the seven children came outside to eat with you), and did not utter a ‘goodnight’ to Lucius before laying down to sleep.

Neither of you spoke to the other for days after that.

It was one morning, not even when the sun was out, as you tried to tiptoe around him, did he ask from his makeshift bed.

“Do you remember where the house is?”

You nearly fell off the ledge of the hayloft. “What is wrong with you?!”

“Do you remember?”

“Yes!” you whispered, afraid to wake the whole farm. “Why?”

“We made the water pump, and the walls and floors are finished. We’ll be able to sleep there now.”

“I don’t see the appeal in sleeping in a house with no roof.”

“I’ll put half of it on today. Tell your foreman too that you won’t be able to work for the next week.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why?”

“I’m teaching you how to tend to a farm.” He wrapped his blankets tighter around him and turned his back to you.

And you continued on your way; making the long trek to the city, which would only be longer when you moved to the house.

When your work was over, you walked and walked. You took a short break at the farmer’s house, making your final goodbyes to the children, and gathering what little belongings you owned.

As you tried to leave, Diana stopped you. She was leading one of the horses, a berber, behind her.

“Take her,” she handed you the reins. “you shouldn’t have to walk so far.”

You shook your head. “I simply cannot-.”

“-I insist.” She smiled. “She’s yours now. Think of it as payment for helping me with the little beasts that are my children.”

Smiling politely, it soon faded. She took notice. “What is it?”

“…I’ve only ever ridden once, and I was a child.”

She sighed yet was still kind. “Come on, my husband’s horse is at your farm. I’ll ride back with him.”

Despite your inexperience, it was actually nice riding a horse. It was perhaps the closest you could ever come to flying in your lifetime; maybe that’s why you enjoyed it. As you were nearing your soon-to-be home, you saw a familiar silhouette along with some others.

Atop the house, against the setting sun, you watched as Lucius continued to add tiles to the unfinished roof. His shirt was off, and even with night beginning to set in with the cold air, he was still breaking a sweat from the rigorous work. You would be a liar if you say that you didn’t catch yourself staring, and it was Diana who had to take the reins.

“What a fine home!” She broke you out of your trance, and when Lucius looked in your direction, you snapped your gaze away.

Lucius nodded. “All that needs to be done is the roof.” He jumped onto the ground just as you were sliding off the horse. He gave you his hand as you were, and you took it.

“Thank you.”

Atticus and the other workers went to a lone tree where their horses were tied. Atticus then approached both you and Lucius.

“Well,” he smiled. “it was lovely hosting the both of you. Please come back as often as you can; I’m sure the children will miss you.”

You all exchanged your final goodbyes, and it when everyone rode off away from you, did you realize something. This was the first time in a while you were alone with Lucius that wasn’t when going to sleep or waking up.

“Do you have a name for the horse?” Lucius asked.

Turning over your shoulder, you led the steed to the tree, petting her as you began to tie her up. “Not at the moment. She’s yours too, do you have any?”

“You’ll be with her more; you should name her.”

Humming you looked at him when you finished securing the horse. “You asked them to give her to me, didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “They asked how they could repay you for taking care of their children, I mentioned how it would be a longer journey to the city once we moved here. That’s all I did.”

…He was better at asking for forgiveness than for permission; that was another thing you learned about him. Still, you nodded your appreciation, inspecting the area around you. It was quite beautiful even with its plainness. The fields stretched on for miles, and there were no tall buildings to cover the night sky. Even the unfinished house brought a sense of happiness to you.

Something that was, at least partially, your own.

“Where will the barn and chicken coop go?” You questioned.

A hint of a smile played on his mouth, but in Lucius fashion, did his best to hide it. “You were complaining about not having a roof, and now you wonder about things for the animals?”

“Perhaps I’m more interested in farming that you are.”

“I’ll teach you.” he led you into the house. “Come on.”

The front living space was large, and in the corner of it had an oven, so that was where the kitchen would be. Lucius showed you the two rooms as well; each having a single pillow and a blanket.

“We’ll begin planting tomorrow.” he announced. “I don’t think I’ll have to wake you up.”

“You won’t.” You nodded. “Goodnight, Lucius.”

“Goodnight.” He said your name.

You didn’t think you’d ever get over the sound of your own name from his lips.

You named the horse after your mother. Well…not the exact same name, but a similar one. It was quite a scene too when confessing to Lucius you could exactly remember how to ride a horse by yourself.

He didn’t laugh at you, that was what greatly surprised you. He spent an hour teaching you, and you were able to ride her on your own.

Farming was more difficult than you thought it would be, but not so horrible either. Yes, where Lucius was patient with you for the first few days, he made a few snide comments as time passed. Nothing outright mean, but still enough to get under your skin.

Still, you managed to pick it up within the few weeks after that.

He had even let you help him finish the roof of the house; something you didn’t expect him to do. After living in the house for a month, both of you managed to buy actual beds for your rooms, among other luxuries like a few tables and chairs for the main living area, and utensils both for cooking and for eating.

The bathroom was completely bare. Having spent all the money on everything else, it would take time for the both of you to buy a bathtub. Bathing wasn’t a problem back on Atticus and Diana’s farm, but now being away from them, you would be forced to rely on the public baths in the city…

Even with some bathhouses having baths only for women, that did not stop men from forcing their way into them.

You didn’t mind being dirty for weeks on end.

The two of you fell into another pattern of life; you going into the city and spending hours translating foreign dialogue, and Lucius working on the farm for most days, sometimes accompanying you.

There was…something else strange as well.

It was always a coin toss on what weeks Lucius would speak to you or not.

Yes, he was always a man of few words, but this was different. There were some days when you asked him about his day, he would tell you what boring tasks he did. Than, on others, it was just one word: “Good.”

Never “Bad”, never “Just okay”; only “Good”. Even when you knew it wasn’t, that’s all he would say.

And you could endure it.

It had already been a little over half a year since the two of you started living together. In the eyes of Rome (as mere Plebians), you would be married once a year passed.

This was perhaps the best marriage you could as for as a Roman woman. Still…every day that Lucius would not speak to you only brought more dread upon your shoulders.

When he stopped even looking at you, that was when you went to Diana one day.

“It’s so lovely to see you.” She smiled, setting down two cups of wine and sitting. “It’s felt like ages!”

With her youngest baby on your lap, you chuckled, taking a sip of your drink. “You honestly didn’t need to get the wine out.”

“Nonsense!” She waved her hand. “It’s a celebration just to be in your presence. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you as well.”

“How’s the farm? Lucius?”

“Well,” you took another sip, setting your cup down. “the farm has been alright. I know at least how to properly water crops and know when they’re ready to harvest or not. I help Lucius sometimes, but…he likes things his own way. He was a farmer too, I understand.”

She hummed. “And as a betrothed? I hope having your own home would help; to me, you two treated each other more like acquaintances than anything else.”

All you could do was avoid eye contact and bounce the giggling baby on your knee.

“Ah.” She sighed. “So not much has changed?”

“We both talk more than we had at your far, but somehow, less at the same time.” You explained.

Diana reached over and held your hand, asking softly. “When was the last time you were intimate?”

As if she were a man, you tore your hand from hers. “What?”

“I do not wish anything to be forced upon you,” she stated first. “especially with what has happened to you. But…it is still important, especially to your future marriage.”

“We…we haven’t done anything in…months.” You were not going to tell her you hadn’t even seen him naked. You were not going to tell her you hadn’t done you “duty” as a woman.

She nodded. “There must be something plaguing his mind terribly.”

“I know that!” You cried. “He just won’t tell me.”

“Men do not like talking,” Diana sighed. “I have been married to Atticus for fifteen years, and even after ten children, there are parts of his past I still do not know of. What Lucius frets over is important though. You must dig your heels into the ground and let him know you are not doing anything until he tells you what he has issue with.”

The baby on your lap cooed as you held her, reaching for parts of your clothing. Diana took her from you once the baby started fussing, and you offered her a grateful smile.

“I’ll try my best with him.”

She squeezed your shoulder. “He will come to his senses. If not, then he truly hit his head too hard in the Colosseum.”

Except, you couldn’t confront him when you got home. Even though the sun was only beginning to set, when you arrived, the house was silent. You peeked into his bedroom and saw that he was already fast asleep.

With a sigh, you finished your nightly activities, and when the sun went down, you were in your own bed.

The nightmare was unlike any you had before.

Hands from all around you reached out to you. Some grabbed clumps of your hair, stuck their fingers into your mouth, caressed the most intimate parts of your body, or even tear your skin off.

You blinked and then you were in the palace, surrounded by cloaked figures. Someone forced you onto your back, and you looked up and saw Geta, raising a knife high above his head before diving it into your stomach. He carved it out before digging his hands into the opening he made and pulled out your womb.

After sitting up in bed, you had thought you awoken. When you opened your bedroom door, you were welcomed to a field of reeds, seeing nothing for miles. All but a silhouette in the distance. You could not make out it to be a man or a woman; all you knew was that you needed to run to them.

Yet, even as you dashed through the fields, calling out a name you do not even remember, your feet sank into the ground with each step.

The earth swallowed you whole before you could even reach them.

You didn’t awake with a scream; you didn’t even awake with a cry. You did awake in a sweat. Sitting up, you slowly pulled the blanket away from your body. Your stomach was unwounded, and nothing had happened.

Without knowing why, you rose from your bed and slipped on your sandals. Not even putting on a robe, you walked out of the house into the cold, night air. Numbly, you treaded through the tall grass away from the house and stopped.

The stars above you watched as you fell to your knees, and the past finally had the last laugh.

You wept for your mother (whose touch you never felt).

You wept for your father (who you had to take care of the same way he took care of you).

You wept for Marcus (the first man outside of your father to ever see you as a person).

You wept for Lucilla (the woman who saved you in more ways than one).

You wept for the innocence you lost to the twin emperors (and how you mercilessly killed them).

You wept and wept, until you felt bile claw its way up your throat and out of your mouth.

The tears did not stop even after you were finished.

Two hands grabbed your shoulders from behind, and you tried to tear yourself away with a sharp cry. You were turned around, and even though your tears blinded you, you could see that it was Lucius.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes grown.

You couldn’t speak clearly, only shaking your head and saying ‘No’ over and over. Lucius led you to the water pump and sat you down by it. Cranking the handle until the water flowed freely, he cupped his hand to catch some of it before gently washing your face.

The cool water grounded you, and your sobs began to slow. Once you were only left with shallow breathing and a stuffed nose, Lucius finally sat beside you.

“What happened?” He asked again, although, returning to his normal, straight-toned self.

“Bad dream.” Was all you said.

He said nothing at first. Then, looking down at the grass beneath him, he said. “Would talking about it help you?”

It was meant to be a helpful question, but it only angered you. “You ask that now? After I run out into the night screaming?”

Lucius squinted his eyes. “Why does that bother you?”

“I know you have nightmares too.” You scoffed. “I have asked you dozens of times if you wish to talk to me about them, and you have always said no. You’ve never once asked me about mine, so how dare you expect me to tell you about it now when you cannot even share yours with me!”

“That’s not fair.” He shook his head.

You stood up, walking back to the house. “You’re right, it isn’t fair.”

He jumped to his feet. “You can’t walk away without telling me why this is troubling you.”

“You first.”

“What?”

You turned to face him. “We are to be married in less than a year, at least ‘In the eyes of Rome’ as you say, yet you do not even look at me anymore!”

His shoulders fell, and he shook his head. “I am looking at you-.”

“-I ask you how you are these days, and you lie to me every time.” You interrupted. “The few instances you allow me to work beside you, you criticize every little thing I do. I understand that I am the farthest thing you wanted for as a wife-.”

It was that word that struck a chord. Despite saying it every so often those past few months…it was only then it occurred to you that where Lucius was your first husband…you were not his first wife.

He tore his gaze away from yours, as if he knew you had figured it out. You sighed. “Gods above…I’m sorry for what has happened to her, and I will never know the loss of a love like that…but I cannot be viewed as her replacement-.”

“-Who told you that you were?” He sharpened his tone.

You swallowed, knowing that this would all end in tears no matter what you said. “You do not tell me anything. I will never ask you to care for me the way you cared for her, but she is gone-.”

“-I couldn’t do anything after she died but weep and watch her body float into the ocean.” He hissed. “I vowed to kill the man that slaughtered her, and I didn’t. It had been perhaps just a month since her death, did I promise myself to another woman. I have dishonored her memory three times.”

“I do not know how long you need me to apologize for something I could not control, but I will if that means you will stop hating me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You hate that I will be your wife!” Your voice was growing hoarse. “I don’t understand it at all. I will be whatever it is you wish me to be in few months’ time, because you will own me. Even if you wish me to be dead, it shall be done because what I want will not matter-.”

“-Must you make everything about yourself?!” He finally yelled. “Would it soothe you if I said I despised every part of you? That if Jupiter himself came down and offered me my old life in exchange for you, I would give you up to him?! Would it give you any peace of mind if I told you I would have rather died in the arena than live a thousand years with you?”

You had expected him to at least pause after he made his confession. To at least have the courage to look you in the eye and watch as the words sunk into your being. Yet, as soon as he finished, he stomped back to the house; and you were alone outside again.

The tears upon your face glimmered from the light in the sky above you, for all you could do was stare at the little farmhouse Lucius had built for you.

How strange that something you once saw as a sign of devotion, was now revealed to be one of complicity.

He had admitted his disdain for your future marriage. You knew that it would be loveless (you would never escape that), but you wished at least for respect. Seeing as how you were not even going to have that, you dragged your feet over to the tree where your horse was tied up. Mounting her with nothing but the clothes on your back, you raced down the pathway.

For the first day, you had stayed at Diana and Atticus’ farm. You said nothing about Lucius, and tried to spend the most time with the children to avoid any questions.

On the second day, you finally went back to the city. Even though the man in charge of you yelled louder than Lucius had at you, it did not phase you. You merely nodded and returned to work. With what money they paid you for the day, you spent it on a room at the safest inn you could find. You had another nightmare that night. Not as horrible as the one two days prior, but awful enough for you to lay awake until the sun rose.

The third day seemed to be ordinary, until you finished your job, and you were promenading along the market. As you eyed the fruit at Isidorus’ stand, a man came to stand beside you.

“Good sir,” you heard Lucius’ voice. “do you have a wife?”

Isidorus nodded. “I do.”

“What from your stand would you give her if she was angry at you?”

He eyed you before smiling at Lucius. “My ears to listen.”

You turned, promptly walking away. Of course, Lucius followed.

“I didn’t know you confided into strangers about our qualms.”

“He’s not a stranger.” you kept trying to lose him. “And gifts will not suffice for an apology this time.”

He got in front of you, uttering your name. You stopped, sighing. “What else have you come to say to me?”

“That I am a fool.”

Although you weren’t necessarily expecting him to admit it, you only nodded. “You very much are.”

He began. “For my entire life, I was not allowed to be entirely truthful with others. Whether it was how I felt in the moment, or even my own name. I’m not used to the freedom of being candid with one another. And I have been mistreating you; I have provided a home, but I haven’t provided your wellbeing. Ari-.” Lucius paused, breathing through his nose. “Arishat and I lived on a farm, that was all I knew while being a husband. I will love her until the end of my days, but that does not give me the right to neglect you. I will…I will try with all my being to share my thoughts with you.”

You stared at him, feeling as if you would blink, and you would awaken from another dream. Yet once you did and saw that he was still in front of you, you said.

“I didn’t mean to insult your memory of her.”

He shook his head. “I believe she would hit me if she were here and saw how I treated you.”

“Thank you.” You nodded. “Truly, for everything. I…it’s not only you, I don’t know if I will ever feel like myself after…everything.”

Lucius already knew. Still, looking around himself, he then said. “Where is your horse?”

“The inn I’ve been staying at has a stable. You walked the whole way here?”

“It’s what I deserved.”

“You smell horrible.” You mustered a shy grin.

He mirrored you, looking away. “I have for a while.”

“I do as well. I was…I was going to brave the baths; would you like to join me?”

Your offer took him by surprise. Usually, a question like that would be an invitation to more salacious activities to take place. Still, what took him aback more was how you were initially so afraid of the public baths, yet there you were.

“I shall.” He agreed.

Thus, the two of you walked beside one another. There were many baths in Rome, yet it would be challenging to find one that had a separate bath for women and one for men. By the time you reached the third bathhouse, you sighed.

“This will do.”

Lucius shook his head. “I’ll ask the workers at this one if they know-.”

“-No.” You stopped him. “It’s fine. I wish to speak more with you.”

He was still hesitant, but gave in. The two of you entered and drifted off to the separate changing rooms. It was strange that the bathhouse had rooms for the different sex to disrobe, but not baths itself.

After locking your clothes away, you ventured out into the main pool. You were welcomed to an array of naked bodies. You weren’t entirely innocent of course, even before everything. You were never to see any of these people again; it was Lucius you would live with.

Quickly, you disappeared half of your body under the surface of the water and clung to the wall of the large bath. Other people around you laughed and socialized, only putting you more in the eyes of men who only came to the baths for one thing.

Yet, before you could take a moment to worry, your eyes fell to Lucius who entered. You soon averted them and felt the water shift beside you as he entered. You turned to look at him, leveling yourself with the side of the pool, essentially shoulder to shoulder with him. The hear radiating off of his body onto yours reminded you too much of that night months ago; the one where you whispered your name into his ear.

“What were you like as a boy?” You questioned in an attempt to hide how flustered you were.

He hummed. “Why do you ask?”

“If you wish to be more honest with me, than I think it should be best to stary with something minor.”

“I understand. I was spoiled growing up in the palace. Still, I wished nothing more than for adventure. All my life, the mere thought of war and battles were taught as a way to bring glory to the empire; pride for one’s family. I had gotten my foolish wish when Maximus died, and my mother sent me away from Rome.” He paused momentarily, before continuing. “I ran all across the land until I was thirteen, where I finally settled in Numidia. I had changed my named too many times to count and settled upon Hanno.”

Your attention did not waver for a moment. When he was finished you asked. “How old were you when you left?”

“Eight…” There was a sad silence between the two of you. A silence held in almost reverence for all the troubles he had been through. “What about you?”

Even with your uneasiness to answer your starkly different childhood, you did so; also have been promising to be honest with him. You spoke of your father, your past friends, the house you grew up in. He never once looked upon you with envy or hatred.

“Your father sounded like a good man.” He said.

“He was.” You nodded, feeling a weight settle in your chest. "I think he would have liked you.”

“I can only hope.”

The conversation halted after that, unknown if you should wait for him to ask a question, or for you to ask another. Both of your eyes drifted around the bath house as people filtered in and out. When your gaze fell back onto Lucius’ you watched his eyes flicker to something behind you. Before you could utter a word, he placed his hand upon your bare back, bringing his lips to the space between your ear and your jaw.

It all happened so fast you had no time to react, and your body shivered upon the feel of him being so close to you.

“There’s a man eyeing you from behind.” He whispered into your skin. “Don’t look at him, just keep looking at me. I’m sorry.”

You pulled away slightly, doing as he told. He traced circles on your back with his thumb, staring intently at you. Even as you shrunk under his eyes, they did not frighten you.

Deciding to play along, you trailed your hand up his bare arm until resting on his shoulder. You felt his skin erupt into goosebumps and he took a sharp intake of breath.

“Okay?” You asked.

He nodded. “Yes, it’s just…it’s been a while.”

Anyone with any sense knew that meant more than one thing. It had been a while since he felt anyone’s touch; nonetheless, a naked woman’s.

From behind him, you saw a small group of girls all looking at you. They all looked a little younger than you, and acted like so, giggling loudly and talking without a care in the world. It was only then that you noticed they were looking at Lucius.

“Is there someone eyeing me now?” He attempted to tease you when he noticed your gaze.

You nodded, no hint of humor behind your voice. “A good few of them.”

“Is that so?”

You removed your hand. “I wouldn’t mind, you know.”

“Wouldn’t mind what?” He pinched his eyebrows together.

“…Getting your release from a woman that isn’t me.” You were puzzled by his seeming ignorance. “You’re a man, I understand-.”

He said your name with somewhat of gasp. You didn’t listen one bit.

“No, I mean it. I will not be more selfish than I already have been, expecting you to remain celibate because I don’t think I will-.”

Lucius said your name again and you stopped. Even when you did, he said it a third time as if to know he had your attention. He continued to run his fingers up and down your back.

“I will not dishonor you-.”

“-I have been dishonored several times before, it does not matter-.”

“-Listen to me.” He said softly yet firmly. “Even if I desired someone carnally, it is not selfish of you to want my loyalty. I’m not a boy who wishes to bed anything that breathes. I don’t think I can do so with someone I do not have any deep feelings for. You are my wife, and I will not treat you less.”

He didn’t call you his ‘betrothed’. As if, the moment you accepted his apology, you were already his other half. To hear him speak with so much certainty after neither of you knowing what any day would bring…it brought an astonishing comfort you never knew you needed.

“Thank you.” You felt like your heart could beat again.

“You don’t-.”

“-No but I do. I don’t…I don’t think I could give you anything of myself if you wanted it. It’s still…I remember a lot of what Geta did to me, and I forgot it at the same time. It doesn’t happen a lot in my nightmares, but it still does. That one night you found me he…he cut out my womb and held it in his hands. I thought I woke up, but I didn’t, and I think I was in Elysian Fields, but I only saw a shadow. I don’t know what any of that means.”

Lucius let you finish all of the anxiety you had thrown onto him. Still, releasing a shallow breath, he said.

“You die in most of my dreams.” He clarified. “The bad ones, I mean. A lot of people do, but you’ve been in them the most. There are times I see both you and Arishat, or my mother, or all three of you and…those are the worst. The night I found you outside, I couldn’t…I had a horrible dream that I couldn’t even see your face, but I knew it was you when I found you hanging in the Colosseum.”

If the both of you weren’t naked and, in the bathhouse, you would have embraced him. Yet, with the most understanding look in your eyes, you brought your hand to the base of his neck, his loose curls between your fingers. You swore you felt him relax into your touch for just a moment.

“I’ve known everyone to have their own beliefs of dreams.” You whispered. “They’re meant to predict the future, they reflect the past, they are punishments, they are blessings, and they mean nothing. I wonder if it’s possible they are all of them.”

He nodded. “I don’t know what I believe in anymore.”

“I do.” Lucius unknowingly leaned into you just ever so slightly. You grinned from ear to ear, pulling your hand away from him. “I believe you need to cut your hair.”

He chortled. “I’m not spending anything on cutting it. It’s fine.”

“I’ll cut it then.”

“I would rather be stabbed.”

“Oh, quit being dramatic.” you playfully swatted him. “There’s a reason I would’ve been a better hairdresser than tailor.”

The two of you teased one another for a minute longer after that. Than, even though the conversation died, it was not in vain. There was a quiet gentleness and protectiveness as you both shared a short distance between each other while bathing. Lucius kept his eye on you more than you did him, knowing that it was always possible a man could try to take advantage of you.

When all was said and done, you got your horse from the stable at the inn, and the two of you rode back to the farm with a newfound understanding of each other.

More than a year and a half have passed since the fall of the Roman Empire and its subsequent birth of the Republic. Your strange marriage with Lucius grew into a friendship of respect and understanding. You both talked more than you had when you were first betrothed, even if your busy schedules remained the same.

The farm had improved after its first harvest, even raising enough money to build a chicken coop and house a few chickens. The house itself was more furnished, and the two of you managed to purchase a bathtub, no longer needing to use the public ones in the city.

Both of you had changed as well. Even with what minimal farm work you did, it built both your strength and stamina. Lucius had begun to grow out his facial hair; not much for it to be an actual beard, but more so just under his nose. You’d joke about it looking like a caterpillar, to which he would lightly shove you away.

After the intimate discussion the two of you shared, it was only then you both realized you still didn’t know much about each other. Most importantly, the little things that made each of you a person.

So, you’d take time to get to know one another.

You were helping Lucius pull weeds around the crops when you found out he had ripped a monkey’s throat out with his teeth during his very first gladiator fight.

You were reading a collection of poetry one night when Lucius told you that you mouth the words of whatever you’re reading if you find it most interesting.

During supper one night, Lucius ate the entirety of the plate only to then eat whatever else you hadn’t. That was when your theory was proven right; he does forget to eat sometimes.

Both of you had tried to keep the housework to an equal amount; if he cooked one night, you’d clean the kitchen and vice versa. Yet, some remained stagnant; you always cut his hair, yet he always changed the horses’ shoes.

Cutting his hair was perhaps your favorite way to speak with him.

“Remember to clean your sandals before coming in next time.” He reminded you as he sat on a tree trunk outside. “You tracked in mud.”

Standing behind him while trimming small hairs, you shook your head. “My apologies, master of the house; it was downpouring and I was freezing.”

“Serves you right, I’d say.”

You placed the tip of the shears against his neck. “What else do you have to say?”

He snickered. “That you’re an astonishing woman who I am blessed to have.”

“Wrong answer, all lies.” You pretended to stab him, only to bring the shears back to his hair.

“I’m not lying!” Lucius laughed.

You only gave him a ‘tsk’ before continuing. “Are you sleeping any better?”

He said nothing at first. Your eyes drifted down to his hands and saw him pull on his tunic; another telltale sign of his nervousness.

“I keep seeing my mother’s face.” He admitted. “Only her face, nothing else.”

“It was the third night last night, right?”

“Yes.”

You sighed. “Would you want to hear a dream I had a few days ago to make you feel better?”

“Better because it was happy, or because you think I’ll feel happy I wasn’t you?”

“The latter.”

“Tell me.”

You turned his head to the side gently, continuing your work. “I stood in front of the entire senate of Rome, and they were all laughing at me. I don’t even know what I said, they only laughed and laughed.”

“Is that not what happened to you in the waking day?”

“No, they listened…I think.” You shook our head. “It more so angers me that, in the waking life, I presented logic to them, and they still chose Macrinus who showed nothing of the sort.”

“Some men like to speak of only desiring logic yet run away with their emotions once it is presented.” Lucius stated. “What had you told them?”

“That all of Rome would continue to riot if they killed Lucilla.” You said grimly. “I still don’t understand; they had their proof of the rage Rome’s children could feel when their general was killed, the only reason the city did not fall was because Macrinus was slain. I’m done.”

You set your shears down and Lucius stood, shaking the fallen hair off his clothes. He turned to you.

“If it matters at all, I think the only reason this house hasn’t fallen is because of you.”

Grinning from ear to ear, you shoved him playfully. “Away with you, you’re just as much of the reason as I am.”

“I do all that I can.”

There were moments like this where you would not speak of childhood memories or events of your day. These moments were reserved for the days where it felt like time slowed down just to give you two the grace to speak about them in more detail.

With only a single candle between the two of you one quiet night, you told him how you have to walk a different path in the city sometimes simply to avoid brothels; hating the sounds you would hear from inside, the stench of cheap perfume and sweating bodies burning your nose, the men who would brag to their friends about the women they had.

At breakfast one day, before the sun had even rose, Lucius told you about a time when he was ten, still on the run. He had gone into a man’s house with the promise of food, only to then be hit the head with something so heavy, he was knocked out. He had awoken in a dark room, but managed to find a curtained window, and escaped. He never knew what would have happened to him if he had woken up just a minute later.

There was tenderness you shared with him that you had never shared with anyone in your life.You sht

That was only more apparent on one fateful day.

The first bad omen for the day that morning was when you had run out of sugar for breakfast that morning. The second was when your horse was extra stubborn as you rode her into the city; it was so out of the ordinary, you wondered if you did something to make her hate you.

Still, everything was fine once you went to work. At least it was for the first half of the day.

There were aggressive people from across the land coming into the city you certainly had to deal with, but the worst was when a man twice your size bluffed you with a slap. Even so, the other men you worked with had yelled and sent her away.

That day though…there was a woman with a look in her eyes.

You thought you had seen pure rage when you had been with Geta. Yet, that day was a lesson to you; wrath had many faces.

She mumbled in Greek, but you did not know what she said at first. Then, she attempted to speak Latin. You politely told her you could speak Greek, and so with exhaustion, she told you that she was going to visit her mother.

When asked for her mother’s name, she didn’t say it. After asking again, she became enraged, yelling at you that she should just be able to be let in. When you resisted, she grabbed your bad arm, yanking it to pull you closer to her.

The pain shot through your shoulder like a bolt of lightning, and you cried out. She tugged on your hair as the men beside you tried to pry her away from you. Luckily, she didn’t manage to yank any of it out once the men forced her away from you. Tears fell freely over your face as you cradled yourself, unable to stop the sobs from leaving your lips.

They let you leave early yet paid you as if you were there the whole day.

The ride back to the farm wasn’t any better, but at least your steed took notice of your heartache and was more merciful to you. When you made it home, you slowed her down when you saw Lucius limping towards the house.

You both stopped where you were, staring at one another as if you weren’t supposed to be seeing the other.

“Why are you back so early?” He asked first.

“Why are you dragging your foot?” You asked second.

Lucius took a deep breath, and you saw tears in his eyes. “I fell.”

The only time you had seen him cry was when burying Lucilla; it wouldn’t be from simply falling. You slowly pulled yourself off your horse but did so quick enough before he could rush to help you. You wished nothing more than to pull him into the warmth of the house, to sit him down and tend to his wound to distract you from your own.

Yet, the moment you took his hand, he began to weep.

“Oh Lucius.” You whispered, bringing your hand up to cradle his face. He wrapped both of his arms around you, bringing you onto the ground with him. You yelped a little when he squeezed your bad shoulder too tight, and he pulled away.

“What happened?” He asked.

You shook your head. “You need-.”

“-What happened?!”

Knowing he wouldn’t stop asking, you told him. “Someone at the gate attacked me. Pulled on my bad arm, my hair…it wasn’t as bad as you’d think-.”

“-Where is he?” He lowered his tone and his demeanor.

Your jaw dropped into a surprised huff. “She is long gone by now, and even if she wasn’t then as my husband, you should stay with me instead of wandering the streets of Rome hoping to find someone to be your anger’s victim!”

Though he still wore that rage upon his face, it soon fell once he saw your own tears fall from your eyes like dewdrops on flowers. Lucius laid himself flat on the dirt, and you sat above him.

“I have been married to you longer than I had been to Arishat.” He confessed. “I knew her for longer, but-but not as deeply; no, I-I knew her more than…I don’t…It’s been long since her death, yet there are moments I think of her, and I cannot stop crying.”

You never knew this was in his heart. You knew to never speak of Arishat, only listen whenever he would bring her up (even so, it was once in a blue moon).

“I’m sorry.” He sniffled, trying to pull himself together. “I know she is gone, and I shouldn’t be-.”

“-You shouldn’t what?” You interrupted. “Remember her? You think I wish for you to forget the woman you so loved?”

He shook his head. “No, but it’s selfish of me to-.”

You were the one to make him lose his words this time. With both hesitation certainty, you placed his head into your lap. It was too late for you to stop once you did, and you felt your own body tense. Then, upon taking a look at his body battered from rigorous work, and another at his face, which relaxed with his eyes fully shut, you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Lucius,” you sighed. “never will I think you are a horrible man for mourning her. You missing her shows just how much you adored her, and how she was a treasure to you. In another life, above all, I wish I could have met her. You are not in the wrong for wanting to see her again. I know you do not love me-.”

“-I do love you.” He opened his eyes upon saying it.

Your heart felt as if it was going to beat itself out of your chest and run away when he said those four words. To preserve your sanity, you took it a different way and smiled sadly.

“Not in the way you loved her.” You said softly. “But what else more can I ask for in a husband than one who treats me with a gentleness I did not know was possible? One who has been there to protect me even before we were married?”

Lucius took a deep breath, rubbing his face to clear away his tears. “You’re too good to me.”

“Gods above,” you groaned tiredly. “we can go back and forth on who deserves each other. Let us just go back into the house, have supper, and sleep.”

“I would like that.” He hissed as he went to stand.

Helping him, once he was on his best foot, you said. “You never told me what you did to your leg.”

He looked behind him at the field. “There was a snake and a rock.”

You gave him a look. “And what happened with them?”

“I don’t wish to speak of it.” He said grimly.

In any other instance, you would have laughed. Yet, as his eyes were still heavy from crying, you just nodded. The both of you helped each other into the house, and you sat him down on one of the several cushions in the living area.

“Your arm,” he asked. “how bad is it?”

You shook your head. “Just really sore. I think she might have left a nasty bruise or two somewhere, but I won’t know yet.”

“Put one of the cloths in the pot with water and put it over the fire.” He told. “Take it out after a few minutes, let it rest for another, then put it on your shoulder. It should help.”

“Thank you.” You stood, doing so, saying. “I swore we had bandages somewhere. I’ll make something for you to drink too; I bought some herbs just last week.”

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of you as you worked. If it were any other man, you would have felt unsafe; yet, it was only Lucius.

Little by little that night, both of you helped heal one another.

Half a year passed since that night, and you and Lucius had only grown closer. Perhaps as close as you could be with a man who was not your husband by choice.

Not much on the farm had changed; you two were living comfortably, and happily, almost making all the turmoil from the first year worth it. The both of you decided to make more visits to Atticus and Diana’s home, realizing just how much you both missed having someone to talk to outside of each other; but that did not mean you had to keep things hidden of course.

If anything, you shared everything with each other.

So much so, that when Lucius asked you why you held onto him longer when he embraced you on your birthday, you told him the truth.

“I don’t want every time we touch to be when it is in turmoil.” You explained, growing meeker. “And I…I’ve missed the feeling of it when it has not been forced upon me.”

Lucius stared at you with a look you had never seen from him. He had been gentle with you many a times, but they way his eyes fell into yours…

He took a step closer to you, and when you showed no sign of discomfort, he took your face into his hands. Your eyes shut at the feeling of him, and he pressed his head against yours. Never in your life had someone’s breath upon your skin feel so immaculate.

From there on out, it always seemed like you had to have a hand on each other one way or another.

It started with holding hands whenever walking through the city together. He used to ‘lead’ you through the crowds in the past, but more so with a hand hovering over your back. No, him holding your hand meant he would have to go where you would go if anything were to happen.

Alongside this, he’d reach over and hold it at Atticus and Diana’s house; whether it was during dinner, or simply just talking. The eldest child had said what the rest of the household had been thinking.

“They’re finally acting like they’re married!”

Because even when there were no other eyes besides yours, he would still hold your hand. You wonder if it ever became a way for Lucius to ground himself; because it certainly did for you.

You hugged him more often as well. Those used to be for ‘substantial’ occasions; those being celebrations or heartbreaks. Now, they were incorporated into greetings and goodbyes. Of course, it only took a few weeks before they were than made into simple desires.

He would be cooking dinner, and you would come beside him to embrace him. You would be gathering eggs from the chickens, and he would wait for you to set the basket down before tossing his arms around you.

At night, it was normal for you both to trade spots as one of you would read a story, and the other would have their head in the other’s lap.

This happened on so many occasions, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise for what Lucius proposed next, but it did.

“If you don’t favor the question I’m about to ask you, then you are allowed to never speak to me again.” He said, his feet hanging off the arm of the lecti couch you both bought that year.

“Well,” you scoffed, sitting on the end of it. “I will have to speak to you again because we live together.”

“Would you want to sleep in my room tonight?” Never in your life had you thought that would have been his question. When you didn’t speak right away, he backtracked. “I don’t expect you to. I understand if-.”

“-The nights are growing colder.” You stated, no visible uneasiness. “I’ve noticed it, and I don’t think any number of blankets could warm me.”

He swallowed thickly, and this was perhaps one of the first times you’d ever seen him like this. “Yes…it’s cold.”

You nodded, and another beat of silence fell between you two. Standing up, you tugged at the seams of your dress. “I-I’ll go change.”

“Yes,” he sat up. “I shall as well.”

Disappearing into your room, you tossed your day clothes off then slipped on a nightdress. After pacing around the floor for a few moments, you gathered the courage to go out into the hall and knock on Lucius’ door.

It was opened as if he was standing right behind it.

He wore just a plain, tattered tunic, and said nothing; yet, you caught his eyes run down you before immediately bringing them back to your face. You were not even in his room yet, and already your body grew warmer.

“May I come in?” You asked.

“Yes, of course.” He stepped aside and you entered.

Somehow, you were no longer man and wife; you were two people who had just discovered a strange, yet burning, feeling that you both held for one another. A feeling that you were both afraid to say aloud…because then it would be real.

The only light in his room was from the moon just peeking through the curtain of his one window. Looking around, you saw that it was still just the bare minimum; a bed, a small table beside it with a lamp, and a dresser. The only others things of note were his sword leaning against the wall, and just a few dirty clothes on the floor.

“I-I tried to clean before you came.” He mentioned.

“Is the rest under the bed?” You asked.

He chuckled. “Yes.”

Before you could change your mind, you pulled the covers off one side of the bed and slid under them. Glancing behind at Lucius, you saw him wear a look where you knew he wanted to say something.

“What is it?” You asked.

“That’s usually the side I sleep on but-.”

You rolled over to the other side. “Are you content now?”

He wheezed, moving to his designated side, slipping under the covers. “Very.”

“Good.” You smiled up at him.

His own mouth lowered as you could see him thinking. He then said. “I don’t expect us to do anything.”

You watched as his eyes dropped from you, as if it was too invasive just to merely look. Thinking from only your heart, you scooted closer, resting your hand on his arm. You ran your fingers up and down his muscles, but then guided his arm to wrap around your waist.

“Okay?”

He hummed, pulling you just a little closer. “Yes.”

“And we’ll just lay together?” You whispered. “Nothing else?”

“Nothing else.”

And that’s what you did. The compete truth was that you would caress him only to remind yourself that it was Lucius and not Geta. His arms, his back, his face…he was nothing like him.

After a few more nights, you told him that as you both lay awake, unable to sleep. He had pulled you on top of him that night, saying that you could see his face better in the moonlight. You only giggled, hiding your face in his chest; even that was too much for you.

It was easier to tell each other things in the darkness. You always knew that, but with being in the same bed (you had not gone back to your room for a week), the words flowed out of both your mouths.

“After my father died,” you said one night as you laid on your side facing him. “I would stroke my own hair or even my arms and pretend they were someone else’s. Even when I was with Geta.”

Lucius stared at you, then immediately began to caress your cheek. You shut your eyes, sighing at the feeling.

“I never thought I’d be able to sleep next to another woman again.” He whispered.

“And now?” You looked into his eyes.

He stopped his movements, but did not remove his hand. You watched every part of him. How his chest heaved shallowly, his arms tensing ever so slightly, but his eyes…gods his eyes. They were heavy as they looked at you; a look that made your heart flutter and not shutter.

Swallowing your fear, you sat up and inched closer to him. Your face hovered above his, and your breath heated his skin. His hand continued to trace shapes about your cheek, and shutting your eyes, you placed your lips upon his.

It was the gentlest kiss you ever shared with a man.

You had pulled away, dreading to see how he felt. When your eyes befell his gentle smile, and his other hand came up to cup your face, you kissed him again.

And again, and again, and again.

You climbed upon his lap without pulling your lips away from him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He sat up, his own arm encircling your waist and drawing you impossibly closer.

Lucius parted from you, and as you whined at the loss of his lips, they soon settled upon your cheek, and then your jaw, and then your chin. Your heavy pants turned to soft grunts as he kissed down your neck, his mustache scratching your skin in just the right way.

Your hands settled into his hair the lower he traveled, moving your night gown off your shoulder to kiss your collarbone. You felt yourself becoming intoxicated from him, and only then noticed you had been for a while.

Oh, how you wished you could bottle up his laugh, his strength, his stubbornness, and get drunk every night. His kisses only added fuel to the fire that was your desire for him.

He sunk his teeth into your skin, and your body, once enflamed, ran cold.

“No!” You tore yourself from his lap, nearly falling off the bed.

Lucius said your name, leaning forward on instinct but soon stopped once he saw you crawl away. “I’m sorry.”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. All you knew was that you needed to go, so you did. Cradling yourself in your arms, you got up from his bed, rushing out of his room and into yours.

You half expected him to knock on the door, then, when you wouldn’t answer, him yell and curse you before breaking it down. Yet nothing of the sort happened. You heard his own door open, and you saw his shadow on the other side, but he did not touch your door. He left after a moment of waiting.

When his own door shut, did you finally cry.

You told yourself that night, you would wake up far earlier than Lucius would so you simply wouldn’t have to see him.

When you awoke, you did the exact opposite. You laid in your bed, trying to return to sleep, only to be forced to lie in the dark. The sun rose into your room, and you heard Lucius’ door open. Still, you did not get up.

It was quite comedic, actually. With your door still shut, he knew you were still home. How he tried his best to keep quiet for you, yet his footsteps had always been heavy, the front door had always creaked, and you could always hear him cursing under his breath every time.

When you knew he had left the house, that was when you stood from your bed, slipping on your sandals. You didn’t bother changing out of your nightdress, leaving your room, and then the house.

Lucius was amongst the chickens when he saw you. He didn’t bother hiding the surprise upon his face at the sight of you. You walked to him until there was little space between you.

“Last night-.”

You took his hand from his side, placing it upon your face. He rubbed your cheek with his thumb as if it was natural. Kissing the palm of his hand, you trailed it down to your clothed breast. He breathed your name with hesitance, but you shushed him. You held his hand there, not taking your eyes off him.

“I will show you, one day.” You told him. “I will show you the mark Geta had made. The one where I myself can scarcely see it, yet I know that it haunts me. But now…” You brought your other hand up to his face, tracing your thumb over his lip. “I just want you to understand.”

He kissed the pad of your thumb, nodding. You embraced him, and he held you with both gentleness and ferocity. The rest of the day carried on as normal, yet you aided him with the chores on the farm.

You went to bed with him that night, but it was the first time he did not entrap you in his arms. You knew he was still afraid of hurting you, but you would be a liar if you said you weren’t thankful for the space.

Still, he would feel your touch every day; whether it was something as small as brushing his hand, or as substantial as kissing his cheek.

As the both of you lay awake one night, you played with the sleeve of his tunic.

“Could I lie on top of you?” You asked.

Lucius looked over at you, nodding. “You never need to ask.”

“I want to.” You climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. “I never want to force you to do anything.”

His eyes fell to your hips before returning them to your face. “I’ll tell you if I wish to not do something. I hope you know you can as well.”

“I do. Would you like to touch me?”

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

You moved his hands to your hips, which he held firmly, yet not enough to hurt you. You leaned down so your lips touched his.

“No teeth.” You said.

“No teeth.” He repeated.

Lucius sighed into your mouth as you kissed. Despite how you were on top of him, the kiss was sweet, shy even. When you pulled away, you trailed your lips from his cheek to his ear.

“Do you dream about me?” You rasped.

He said nothing, and you continued to kiss every part of his face besides his lips.

“It’s okay.” You kissed his Adam’s Apple. “I want you too.”

“Yes.” His breath hitched.

“What was I doing in your favorite one?” You kissed his pulse point.

“You,” he breathed sharply through his nose. “you’re touching yourself.”

“Would that please you?” You sat up in somewhat surprise, resting your hands on his chest. “To watch me do so?”

He shook his head. “I want to do what pleases you.”

It felt foreign to hear someone say they want you to feel good. Instead of cowering from it, you faced it head on. You kneeled for a moment, hiking your gown up to your hips before sitting back on your ankles, exposing yourself to him. Lucius’ jaw clenched at the sight of your naked center, and he drew his hands away from your hips, falling them into fists upon the mattress.

“I wish to watch you as you watch me.”

Without looking away from you, he drew his hand down to his cock, pulling it out from under his tunic. Your eyes grew just a hint. There was no doubt upon him being more well-endowed than others, but it was still different from how you imagined.

Shutting your eyes, you trailed your fingers over your cunt, your thumb playing with your clit. The sounds of Lucius’ smothered grunts, and the skin of his cock on his fingers only added to your pleasure. Digging deeper and moving faster, you felt a coil within your stomach tighten when you opened your eyes and saw as Lucius’ gaze bore into yours.

Light moans escaped your lips as your hips moved with a mind of their own, watching the man beneath you take pleasure from his own hand. It was him chanting your name like a prayer that sent you over the edge. With your eyes shut, the coil within you snapped, and pleasure filled your veins.

Not long after, you felt a warmth coat your nightdress. Opening your eyes, you looked down and saw the white-hot residue of Lucius’ release. Your gaze drew to his cock, still clutched in his hand, yet red with droplets of white running over his knuckles.

You don’t know what possessed you to, but you lowered your mouth down to clean him with your tongue.

“Gods be good!” He huffed, laughing your name.

“What?” You wiped your mouth.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

Grinning like the devil, you slid off the bed, walking towards the door. “I hope it’s a pleasant one then.”

He sat up. “Where are you going?”

“To change. You dirtied me as well.” You teased.

“Take one of my tunics from the dresser.”

It almost made you laugh that he didn’t want you to leave for even a second. You opened the top drawer, grabbing the longest tunic you could find before facing him. “Close your eyes.”

He laid on his side, putting a pillow over his head. Many would find it strange how the both of you would see the most intimate parts of yourself while doing one of the most intimate acts together, yet you didn’t want him to see you naked.

But Lucius never thought of it as strange. He knew what you had been through, and never once judged you.

When you were clothed, you slid into bed, wrapping your arms around his body and pressing a quick kiss to the back of his neck.

“You’re a good man, Lucius Verus Aurelius.” You whispered. “I will tell you that until the day you die, or when you finally believe me.”

He squeezed your hand, relaxing into your touch. You never slept so peacefully until that night.

You always had to see him whenever he would touch you so intimately. There would be nights where there was only a single candle in the room as he trailed his hand up your thigh whilst you sat on his lap.

His fingers were too much for you at first, but he never ridiculed you. When you whimpered at the feeling, he retracted them, kissing your eyes. You asked him again to try, and he whispered praises into your hair as the pain from a dry spell soon turned into pleasure.

It was usually at night did these moments of exploration occurred. In the day, the most you would ever do was kiss. That is, until the first time you cut his hair since the discovery of feelings.

“I don’t want to get hair on your floor.” Lucius said as he sat on the floor, leaning his back against the foot of your bed. It was hotter than sin that day. He wore nothing but a loincloth, but that barely did anything to help him from the heat. You wore essentially a thin shift that would usually be under your dress; yet again, because of the heat, that was all you wore.

You sat on the bed, legs draped over his shoulders as you cut his hair. “It’s your floor too. You built the house.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I haven’t slept here for a while now. Besides, I will clean up.”

“I had no idea you favored doing domestic work now.” He turned and pressed a kiss to your knee.

You slapped the back of his head. “Don’t move! I’ll give you a bald spot if you do so again.”

“Yes, my mistress of the house.” He joked.

“You’re horrible.”

“You just told me I was a good man not so long ago.”

“And I can just as easily revoke that title.”

He stayed silent the rest of the time, but not from any underlining anger. Simply from his at ease posture, you knew he was smiling.

He smiled more those days.

When you were finished, you tossed your scissors aside, but Lucius’ hands settled upon your thighs, not allowing you to get up. You scoffed.

“What is it?”

He turned to face you, kneeling up to meet you. “I wish to try something, but only if you wish it as well.”

You rose your brow, but smiled, kissing his nose. “It will be difficult if I do not know what it is.”

Without drawing his eyes away from yours, he slid his hands up your thighs, bringing the bottom of your shift with it. It seemed normal at first, but once he lowered his mouth, your chest tightened.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I want to kiss you there.” His breath caressed your cunt and you mewled at the feeling. “I think you’ll enjoy it, but we don’t have to.”

Your heart changed from beating in fear, to then in anticipation. You loved how he kissed your lips, and every inch of your skin that was not covered, what would it feel like to have his lips there?

Kissing the top of his head, you laid on your elbows, nodding.

“Let me hear you say it.” He nosed the inside of your thigh.

“Yes.” You sighed. “Please.”

He lowered his mouth back down, pressing the lightest of kissed onto your center. You groaned through shut lips, only for them to part open as the hairs of his mustache tickled you whilst he began to lap at your wetness.

Tossing your head back, you sat up, running your hands through his hair, unconsciously rolling your hips to meet his mouth. His groan reverberated through your body, only adding to the pleasure you were feeling.

“Lucius, Lucius,” you babbled his name until it didn’t sound like a word.

His nose bumped against your aching clit the same time his tongue penetrated your cunt. You yelped as that familiar, tightening feeling swept over you. His half-lidded eyes would stare up at you every once in a while, as he would continue to drink from you as if he had been stranded in the desert. Just as you were on the brink of release, you drew him away from you.

“What-what is it?” He huffed. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, pressing your lips to his before scooting further up the bed. With one last breath, you pulled your shift over your head, revealing your bare body to him. His gaze ran over your figure unashamedly.

“Come here.” You beckoned.

He crawled onto the bed and over your body, yet still looked at your face. You took his hand and laid it over your breast. His body ran cold at what was on the side of it. A bite mark.

“He branded me all those years ago.” You confessed. “And it has not left since.”

Geta…

You ran your hand up his chest. “I love you, and I trust you with every part of my body. I need you to know that.”

“I love you.” He echoed, pressing the tenderest of kisses to the mark and you gasped lightly. “I have for so long now; I…I need you.”

“Then have me.”

He sat back on his knees, unwrapping his loin cloth and tossing it to the floor. Precum leaked from his sweltering cock as it stood upright like a pillar. You crawled over, kissing every inch of his face and climbing into his lap. He drew his arms around your waist, his finger tracing circles into the small of your back.

“I don’t know how long I will last.” He puffed heavily. “It’s been so long.”

“I just want you inside of me.” You kissed his jaw, taking his cock into your hand and sinking down onto it. It had been a while for you too, and while you were soaked, it was not enough to completely subside the tightness. “Just…wait.”

“I could die happy if all you wanted was for me to remain still as you’re above me.” He said into your ear.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, sinking your nails into his skin because that was the only way to remind you that he was still there. The further you sunk down on him, the easier and more pleasureful you felt.

“I’m going to move now.” You said into his shoulder, and you did.

Slowly, at first you relished in the quiet slapping of skin and the breath moans leaving both you and Lucius’ lips. He trailed a syrupy line of kisses down your throat until he bowed his head to place them upon your chest.

“Your name,” Lucius said into your skin. “tell me your name.”

You gave him a look as you rolled your hips into his, yet sighed your name.

“Again.” He breathed, latching his lips around the tip of your breast.

You did.

“Again.” He kissed the hollow of your throat.

You leaned into his touch, saying your name a third time.

He repeated your given name, than following it with ‘Aurelias’. Your movements stilled, yet he did not care.

“You are the most cunning woman I have met, and you are my wife.” He stated, never looking away from you. Tears sprang to your eyes when you saw the same for him, and you gave him a messy kiss before resuming faster this time.

After months of being called a name that did not belong to you, especially whenever in the bedroom, Lucius was doing everything to remind you that you were yourself again as you felt pleasure.

It felt as if, after two years, ‘Julia’ was finally gone.

You chanted his name as if it was your favorite prayer, burying your hands in his hair and kissing his lips.

“Lucius, Lucius, Lucius…”

Because, just like you, how long had it been since his true name was uttered whilst in the throes of pleasure?

He moaned into your mouth, holding onto you tighter. You squealed when he rose up onto his knees, latching your legs around his waist and only crying out sharply when your throbbing clit ran across his pubic hair.

“Come on, come on,” he urged into your ear. “I know you can give it to me.”

“Lu-Lu-!” You moaned, running your nails over the thick field of muscles that was his back.

He said your name over and over again, until it was one word that was the end of you.

“Please.”

You came with your vision blinded from the state of euphoria you had reached. Lucius still held you above him even as his legs began to quake, bouncing you on his cock. You felt as though you were suspended in air when his groans stammered, and you felt strings of his cum paint the walls of your cunt.

Slowly, he lowered the two of you onto the mattress, laying you on your back like you were the most precious treasure in the world. You kept your legs around his waist, breathing with him with your chests glued together from your sweat.

“Lucius-.” You began, trying to shift under him.

“-Just,” he grunted. “just another moment. Please.”

How could you deny him? Every kiss he gave was loving as he laid upon you. His cock had grown soft, and even you were aware that you could’ve fallen asleep if you weren’t careful.

When he pulled away from you, you let out an involuntary whine.

“I thought you wanted me to get off you?” He kissed your stomach when he stood up.

You shoved him playfully. “Just clean me up and come back.”

“So controlling.”

Still, he did what you asked, bringing a soaked washcloth from the bathroom and cleaning you. You groaned out of both the cold water hitting your hot skin, and the heat from the air itself.

“We should’ve waited until night.” You whined.

“Why?”

“I’m suffocating from the air outside!”

Lucius hummed, tossing the washcloth aside and looming over you. “Then that forces us to wear nothing today, so that we might cool down.”

You nodded. “Perhaps you aren’t as feeble minded as I thought.”

He settled behind you, tossing an arm over your waist and pulling your back to his chest. Even though his cock pressed against you, the two of you were completely exhausted from the heat of the day’s work, and the heat of what took place only moments before.

The only sound was that of the cicadas singing in the summertime. Sometimes, a breeze or two of wind would bounce the curtain off the window, but for the most part, just the even breathing you shared with Lucius was all you could hear.

Lucius’ mustache rubbed your skin when he placed a kiss to your neck. “What’s going on inside of your mind right now?”

You grinned. “A proper wife would say that I was thinking of you.”

“But that’s not what it is.”

“It’s something that has nothing to do with anything of note.”

He squeezed you. “Spit it out, woman.”

Sighing, you felt a sense of dread in your heart; both for your thoughts, and also how your husband would react. So, you tried your best to explain it.

“Do you even wonder how you will be remembered?” You began. “Spoken from mouths? Written in books? Painted on walls? They’ll remember Lucius, the Lost Son, the Last Gladiator…What will they remember of me, if anything? Rome’s Cleopatra? Her Delight? A whore to the twin emperors? I like to fantasize that they will name me the first woman who sat upon the emperor’s throne, even if it was as the last of its consul. Yet, even if they name me…I will be Julia. The name of a slave, the name I only accepted when he would press me into the bed so roughly. I only survived because I would need to tell myself that he was doing all of it to Julia, not to me.”

It felt quieter in that room, even though the sounds outside did not cease. Lucius gently turned your body towards him, and he stroked your face with the back of his hand.

“You’re crying,” he uttered your name, frowning.

You wiped your eyes, wanting to hide from him. Yet, he did not allow it, pulling your hands away from you and wrapping them around his shoulders.

“Would you wish I remain silent, or share with you what is in my head?” He asked.

“Talk to me.” You answered.

“I never cared of what history would see of me.” He stated. “Even as a boy. I know that we are different in most aspects of life, but I believe it serves no one to wonder away how we will be viewed long after we are dead. I do not care if or what a stranger thinks of me in a lifetime later. I care how Atticus and Diana see me. I care what their children think. Above all, I care of what you see me to be.”

You pressed your head against his. “You’re pigheaded and quite foolish sometimes.”

“And it matters you say that.” He pulled you closer. “Because that is what you will tell others when I pass on.”

“You know I don’t think that is all you are.” You remined him.

“I do.” He nodded. “I will know you for your wit, and your protective nature, and your kindness.”

“I never truly thought of myself as kind.” You gave a pained smile.

“That is how I see you.” He kissed your brow. “And what I will say with my last dying breath.”

You wondered how such a man as himself could exist at the same time you did. A man who hated you prior to everything yet laid with you in bed. A man who treated you with a tenderness you never thought possible.

A man who could be the last person on earth with you, and you would only feel at peace.

You did not need to say anything to him. Simply by the innocent smile that spread across your lips, did he know. You fell into the most comfortable of silences together as you laid naked in the summer heat.

The both of you were lost to time as we all shall be one day.

Perhaps you lived on that farm for the rest of your days, or perhaps you moved to a different land.

Perhaps you had ten children, perhaps you had only one, or perhaps you had none and were content with each other’s company.

Perhaps you died before him, perhaps he died before you, or perhaps you both passed onto the Elysian fields together.

All that truly matters, at the end of all things, is the life the two of you led together, and what you and loved ones remembered the most of it.

#gladiator 2 #gladiator ii #hanno x reader #lucius x reader #lucius verus x reader #lucius versus x reader #gladiator 2 spoilers #Youtube

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mywhisperingwords · 2 days ago

Text

never will be | fred g. weasley

summary: if one more person called fred your boyfriend, you were going to hex them—and then probably yourself for wishing it were true word count: 5.8k masterlist

“Seriously, though,” Angelina said, leaning against the Gryffindor common room sofa with a sly grin, “when are you two finally going to admit it?”

“Admit what?” Fred asked, looking up from the deck of Exploding Snap cards he was shuffling.

“That you’re dating,” George chimed in from across the room, tossing a chocolate frog wrapper into the fire.

You rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt. “For the hundredth time, we’re not dating.”

“Not yet, at least,” Angelina muttered, smirking at you.

Fred laughed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Don’t listen to them. They’re just bored and trying to start drama.”

George snorted. “Says the bloke who can’t go two hours without dragging her off to help with one of his pranks.”

“That’s because she’s got steady hands,” Fred argued, flashing you a grin that made your stomach flip. “Best partner-in-crime I could ask for.”

“Mm-hmm,” George said, exchanging a knowing look with Angelina.

You felt the heat rise in your cheeks but forced a casual laugh. “Exactly. Partners-in-crime. Nothing more.”

Fred’s grin widened, oblivious to the way your voice faltered on the last words.

Later that evening, as you sat in your usual spot in the common room, Fred plopped down beside you, his long legs stretching out in front of him.

George and Angelina had finally left you alone, their laughter about your so-called “relationship” fading into the background.

Fred tossed a bright green bean into the air, catching it in his mouth. “Honestly, they’re relentless. Next thing you know, they’ll be planning our wedding.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh, definitely. George would insist on fireworks during the vows.”

“And Angelina would probably hex the cake to explode in my face,” Fred added, grinning.

“Not that you wouldn’t deserve it,” you teased, nudging him with your shoulder.

Fred gasped dramatically. “Me? Deserve it? Please, I’d be the perfect groom. You, on the other hand…”

You raised an eyebrow. “What about me?”

Fred smirked, leaning back in his chair. “You’d probably spend the entire ceremony arguing with me about the flowers or the seating arrangements.”

“Only because you’d insist on something ridiculous, like having a Quidditch match instead of a reception,” you shot back, laughing.

“See? Proves my point,” Fred said, throwing another bean into his mouth.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the grin tugging at your lips. The conversation was silly, but it sent a pang through your chest all the same. For a moment, you wondered—what if it weren’t so ridiculous? What if you weren’t just friends?

“Guess it’s a good thing we’d never actually be a couple,” you said lightly, testing the waters.

Fred snorted, not catching the slight hesitation in your voice. “You’ve got that right. Can you imagine? We’d probably kill each other within a week.”

Your smile faltered for a split second, but you quickly recovered, laughing along with him. “True. It would be a disaster.”

“An entertaining one, though,” Fred added, grinning at you.

You laughed again, but the ache in your chest lingered as his words played over in your mind. A disaster.

Fred, oblivious, tossed the box of beans onto the table and stretched his arms over his head. “Anyway, who needs all that relationship nonsense? We’re better off just being us.”

“Right,” you said softly, your smile not quite reaching your eyes. “Just us.”

But as you watched Fred lean back, his expression carefree and content, you made a silent decision.

It was time to stop hoping for something that would never happen. It was time to move on.

A couple days later, Fred dropped into the seat next to you in the common room, his typical big grin directed at you. “Fancy sneaking out to the kitchens? I was thinking a snack, but maybe we could even go for a full-course meal if the house-elves are feeling generous.”

You didn’t look up from your book, keeping your voice steady. “Can’t. I’ve got plans tonight.”

Fred tilted his head, frowning. “Plans? With who?”

“Just plans,” you said vaguely, flipping a page.

Fred narrowed his eyes, studying you for a moment, but you didn’t elaborate. Eventually, he shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “Your loss. More food for me.”

You hummed noncommittally, keeping your gaze fixed on the words in front of you.

Later that evening, Fred was sprawled on the sofa near the fire, George and Lee arguing over a card game beside him. Angelina sauntered in, her hair tied back in a loose ponytail.

“Oi, Ang,” Fred called, waving her over. “What’s she up to tonight?”

Angelina raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

“You know who. She said she had plans.”

Angelina hesitated for half a second before smirking. “She’s got a date.”

Fred blinked, the words not registering immediately. “A date?”

“Yeah,” Angelina said, sitting on the arm of the sofa. “With that bloke from Ravenclaw—what’s his name? Aaron? Aiden?”

“Andrew,” George supplied helpfully, grinning.

“Right. Andrew,” Angelina said, crossing her arms. “Apparently, he’s been asking her out for ages, and she finally said yes.”

Fred frowned, a strange tightness forming in his chest. “Huh.”

George glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “Something wrong, Fred?”

“No,” Fred said quickly, shaking his head. “Why would there be?”

George exchanged a look with Lee, who raised an amused eyebrow. But neither of them said anything, much to Fred’s relief.

Meanwhile you were trying your best to focus on Andrew as he told you about his latest Quidditch practice. He was charming, handsome, and undeniably kind. Exactly the type of person you should be going out with.

But as much as you tried to stay engaged, your mind kept wandering. His laugh wasn’t quite as infectious. His jokes weren’t quite as sharp. And when he leaned in slightly to brush his hand against yours, your chest didn’t flutter the way you wanted it to.

You forced a smile, reminding yourself why you were here. Andrew had always been good to you, and after Fred’s clear rejection, it was time to stop holding onto something that wasn’t going to happen.

“Are you alright?” Andrew asked, his voice soft as he studied your face.

“Yes,” you said quickly, sitting up straighter. “Sorry, just a bit distracted. It’s been a long week.”

Andrew smiled, his eyes warm. “I get it. I’m glad you said yes, though. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.”

You felt a pang of guilt but managed another smile. “Me too.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Andrew deserved a chance, and you were determined to give it to him.

Still, as the evening wore on, you couldn’t help but wonder what Fred was doing. And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the thought that you wished he were sitting across from you instead.

You had done your best to steer clear of Fred over the past few days. You weren’t sure why, if someone dared to ask. Maybe you wanted to avoid telling him about your date or maybe talking to Fred would force you to acknowledge that moving on was harder than you thought.

It wasn’t easy, avoiding Fred, considering he had a knack for showing up everywhere you didn’t want him to be.

And, naturally, today was no exception.

“Oi!” Fred’s voice rang out from behind you as you made your way down the hallway after class. “Wait up!”

You considered pretending not to hear him, but the sound of his footsteps catching up told you there was no escaping this time.

“Hey,” he said, falling into step beside you. His usual grin was in place, though there was a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. “Haven’t seen much of you lately. Been avoiding me or something?”

You gave a half-hearted laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. Just… busy.”

Fred raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Busy with what? Or should I say who?”

Your stomach twisted at the question, but you forced yourself to keep your expression neutral. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Angelina mentioned you went on a date,” Fred said, his tone light and teasing, though his eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite place. “Figured you’d be too busy swooning over this Andrew bloke to hang out with your real friends.”

You rolled your eyes, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter. “It was just a date, Fred. No swooning involved.”

Fred tilted his head, studying you. “Come on. Spill. What’s he like? Is he as funny as me? Doubt it.”

You hesitated, your heart hammering as you searched his face for any hint of jealousy, any sign that this conversation bothered him. But Fred’s grin was firmly in place, his tone casual and carefree.

“He’s nice,” you said finally, keeping your voice even. “Really nice.”

Fred’s smile faltered for the briefest of moments before returning. “Nice, huh? That’s a glowing review.”

You shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. “What else do you want me to say?”

“I dunno,” Fred said, scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe that he’s secretly boring or has terrible taste in music. Something I can mock him for.”

You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you, but it quickly faded as the tension in your chest tightened.

Fred shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. “Well, if he’s so bloody great, maybe we should invite him to hang out with us sometime.”

Your head snapped toward him, your eyes narrowing. “Are you serious?”

Fred shrugged, his grin turning lopsided. “Why not? He could use a proper Weasley test. See if he can keep up.”

You shook your head, muttering under your breath. “You’re impossible.”

Fred watched you closely, his grin slipping just enough to reveal the confusion beneath it. He didn’t know why the thought of you with Andrew left a sour taste in his mouth, but he was determined to ignore it.

Maybe it was just because he didn’t know the guy. Or because he didn’t want to lose his favorite partner-in-crime to some bloke from Ravenclaw. That had to be it.

Definitely not because he cared more than he should.

The common room buzzed with its usual post-dinner chaos. Fred was in his element, loudly challenging George to an Exploding Snap rematch after a questionable loss earlier, when you walked in with Andrew.

Fred’s laughter faltered for half a second, but he quickly covered it up with a grin. “Well, well, look who decided to join us. Ravenclaw royalty.”

“Hi, Fred,” you said, your voice neutral but carrying an edge of warning.

Andrew smiled politely, clearly unfazed. “Hey. I thought I’d take you up on your offer to hang out.”

“Brave of you,” Fred quipped, gesturing to the chaos around him. “We’re not exactly Ravenclaw standards of refined.”

Andrew chuckled. “I can handle it.”

George appeared beside Fred, grinning broadly. “Andrew, right? You’re the Quidditch guy. Chaser, yeah?”

“That’s me,” Andrew said, looking pleasantly surprised.

“Always nice to have another flyer in the group,” George said, clapping him on the back. “Ignore Fred if he gets too annoying.”

“Oi!” Fred protested, but George was already leading Andrew to the sofa, chatting about brooms and game strategies.

You sighed, crossing your arms. “Play nice,” you muttered as you passed Fred, taking a seat near Angelina and Lee.

Fred watched as Andrew settled into the group, answering questions and laughing at everyone’s jokes with ease. His jaw tightened when Angelina leaned over to whisper, “He’s charming, isn’t he?”

“Sure,” Fred said, his voice flat.

An hour later, everyone seemed to be getting along swimmingly—except Fred.

He wasn’t outright rude to Andrew, but his usual teasing had a sharper edge tonight. Every time Andrew spoke, Fred had a quick quip or an exaggerated eye roll.

When Andrew mentioned his house winning the latest match, Fred chimed in with, “Ravenclaw’s strategy, isn’t it? Win the game, lose the fun.”

George elbowed Fred, but Andrew only laughed. “We take Quidditch seriously. Some of us, at least.”

Fred grinned tightly. “Right. Because fun has no place in sports.”

“Okay,” you interjected, cutting through the growing tension. “Who wants snacks? I’ll get some from the kitchens.”

“I’ll help,” Andrew offered, standing up.

You hesitated, glancing briefly at Fred before nodding. “Sure. Let’s go.”

After you and Andrew left the common room, Fred slumped back into his chair, muttering something under his breath.

“What’s your problem?” George asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Problem? I don’t have a problem,” Fred said quickly.

“Sure you don’t,” Angelina said, smirking as she leaned against the armrest. “You’re only acting like a jealous git.”

Fred scoffed. “Jealous? Please. I just think he’s boring.”

George chuckled. “Yeah, he’s awful. Friendly, charming, loves Quidditch—how dare he?”

Fred scowled but didn’t reply, his gaze fixed on the door you’d just walked through.

When you and Andrew returned, the evening had mostly calmed down. Fred kept to himself, though his eyes followed you whenever you weren’t looking.

As the group began to disband for the night, Andrew turned to you, his smile warm and easy. “I had a great time the other night. Do you think you’d want to do it again? Soon?”

Fred’s head snapped up at Andrew’s words, but he quickly looked away, pretending to fidget with his deck of cards.

You hesitated, your gaze flickering to Fred for just a moment. His usual grin was gone, replaced by a furrowed brow and averted eyes. Ignoring him and the little voice in the back of your mind, you turned back to Andrew.

“Sure,” you said with a smile. “I’d like that.”

Andrew’s grin widened. “Great. I’ll find you tomorrow to figure out the details.”

You nodded, and as Andrew left, you glanced back at Fred one last time. He was shuffling his cards with unnecessary force, avoiding your gaze entirely. Weird.

Over the next couple of weeks, your relationship with Andrew began to take shape. Slowly but surely, he worked his way into your life.

He wasn’t overly pushy or demanding, which you appreciated, and he had a way of making you laugh—though not quite as effortlessly as Fred could.

Still, it felt nice to have someone show genuine interest in you, even if the spark you were hoping for wasn’t quite there yet.

Of course, Andrew didn’t just win you over—he charmed everyone.

“Well, he’s bloody polite,” George said one evening after Andrew left the common room. “And he brought snacks. Can’t argue with that.”

Angelina nodded in agreement. “He’s sweet. You picked a good one.”

“Of course she did,” Fred muttered, slumping lower in his chair.

Lee gave Fred a side-eye. “You alright, mate? You’ve been acting off lately.”

“I’m fine,” Fred said quickly, grabbing a deck of cards and shuffling them with unnecessary vigor. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lee raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further.

The thing was, Fred wasn’t fine.

He didn’t know what it was about Andrew that rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was how the bloke always seemed to be around now, sitting beside you in the common room or leaning in too close when you laughed at one of his jokes.

Fred told himself it was just the newness of it all. You’d always been his person—his partner-in-crime, his go-to for pranks, his late-night snack accomplice. And now Andrew was stealing you away.

It was irritating.

But Fred wasn’t jealous. Definitely not.

One afternoon, the group decided to head down to the lake to take advantage of the rare sunny weather.

Andrew and George carried the food, Angelina and Lee brought the blankets, and you walked ahead with Fred, your pace slowing as you chatted.

“So,” Fred said casually, kicking a stone along the path, “how’s Prince Charming?”

You gave him a look. “He has a name, you know.”

“Right. Andy.”

“Andrew,” you corrected, rolling your eyes.

“Same thing,” Fred said with a shrug.

You sighed. “He’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Fred said, though his tone was anything but casual. “Just wondering how long he plans to stick around.”

“Why? You planning to scare him off?” you asked, your voice teasing but laced with curiosity.

Fred grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Before you could respond, Andrew called your name from behind, jogging to catch up with you.

Fred fell silent, his jaw tightening as Andrew slipped into step beside you, his hand brushing yours as he walked.

By the time you reached the lake, Fred was thoroughly annoyed.

As everyone settled on the blankets, Andrew took the spot beside you, leaning close to whisper something that made you laugh. Fred sat across from you, stabbing at his sandwich with unnecessary force.

“You alright there, Fred?” Angelina asked, nudging him with her foot.

“Fine,” Fred said tightly, taking an aggressive bite.

George smirked. “You know, for someone who doesn’t care, you’re awfully bothered.”

Fred glared at his twin but said nothing.

As the sun began to set, Andrew offered to walk you back to the castle, and you accepted with a smile. Fred watched the two of you leave, his chest tightening as your laughter faded into the distance.

“Mate,” George said, clapping Fred on the shoulder. “You’ve got it bad.”

Fred scowled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t,” George said with a knowing grin.

If there was one thing Fred Weasley prided himself on, it was his ability to remain unshakable. Cool under pressure. Steady in the face of chaos.

Except, apparently, when Andrew was around.

“I’m just saying,” Fred declared loudly, leaning back in his chair with the kind of dramatic flair that immediately drew everyone’s attention, “no one is that nice. It’s suspicious.”

“Suspicious?” Angelina repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“Absolutely,” Fred said, gesturing wildly as if this were common knowledge. “No one can laugh at every single joke. Even George’s bad ones.”

“Oi!” George protested, though he was grinning. “My jokes are masterpieces.”

Andrew, seated comfortably next to you, chuckled. “I don’t know, George. That one about the Blast-Ended Skrewts last week was a bit of a stretch.”

Fred’s eyes narrowed. “See? Right there. He’s even polite when he’s being critical. Who does that?”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. “Fred, are you really mad because Andrew is nice?”

“I’m not mad!” Fred insisted, though his tone suggested otherwise. “I’m just… observant. He’s too nice. It’s unnatural.”

“Fred,” Lee said, struggling to keep a straight face, “I think you might be allergic to decent human behavior.”

The group erupted in laughter, and for a moment, even you couldn’t hide your amusement. But Fred wasn’t done yet.

“Mark my words,” Fred continued, pointing dramatically at Andrew, “this whole ‘charming and perfect’ act is going to crack one day. And when it does—”

Andrew held up his hands, laughing lightly. “Alright, you’ve got me. I’ll admit it: I burned toast once. Twice, actually. Sometimes I even leave the cap off the toothpaste.”

“Oh, the horror,” Lee said, clutching his chest mockingly. “Fred, are you sure we’re safe in his presence?”

Fred scowled, muttering something under his breath.

You shot him a look, your patience wearing thin. “Fred, if you’re so bothered by something, maybe you should do something about it.”

Fred blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in your tone. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged, standing to grab a glass of water. “Exactly what it sounds like.”

Fred watched you leave the room, the weight of your words settling uncomfortably in his chest.

“What’s her problem?” he muttered, glancing at the others.

Angelina snorted. “You’re joking, right?”

Fred frowned. “What?”

George exchanged a look with Lee, barely containing his laughter. “Oh, nothing,” George said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you acting like a jealous prat every time Andrew breathes in her direction.”

“I’m not jealous!” Fred shot back, his voice a little too loud.

“Sure you’re not,” Lee said, patting him on the shoulder.

Angelina leaned forward, her smirk practically glowing. “Fred, has it ever occurred to you that you’re not mad at Andrew? You’re mad because he’s with her, and you’re not.”

Fred opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He shut it again, glaring at the lot of them as they burst into laughter.

“Honestly,” George said, shaking his head. “I’ve seen Blast-Ended Skrewts with more self-awareness.”

Fred groaned, burying his face in his hands. “You’re all useless,” he muttered.

“Hey, we’re just here to point out the obvious,” Lee said with a grin. “The rest is up to you, lover boy.”

The Three Broomsticks was warm and bustling with chatter, the kind of lively atmosphere that could distract anyone from their troubles.

Fred leaned back in his chair, nursing a mug of butterbeer, and let the noise wash over him.

It had been weeks since he’d felt this at ease. For once, he wasn’t thinking about Andrew or the way he seemed to occupy every spare moment of your time.

Because, for the first time in a long while, it was just the group—George, Lee, Angelina, you, and him—laughing, joking, and bickering like always. And with you sitting across from him, grinning over the rim of your butterbeer as you teased George about his latest failed prank, Fred felt… content.

Comfortable. Like everything was back to normal.

But then the door to the pub opened, letting in a gust of cold air and a familiar figure.

Fred’s stomach twisted the moment he saw Andrew.

“Hey, everyone,” Andrew said, his smile easy and confident as he approached the table.

Fred tried to focus on his drink, on George cracking a joke, on literally anything else—but then Andrew leaned down, his hand brushing your shoulder, and kissed you.

It wasn’t long, just a brief, casual kiss on the lips, but it might as well have been a Bludger to Fred’s chest.

The laughter at the table carried on, the others welcoming Andrew like they always did, but Fred barely heard a word. His mind was spinning, his heart racing, and for the first time, he couldn’t keep up the denial.

It wasn’t just irritation. It wasn’t just protectiveness.

It was jealousy.

Pure, undeniable jealousy.

And it wasn’t just because Andrew had you—it was because Fred wanted you.

The realization hit him like a brick wall. Every time you laughed at Andrew’s jokes, every time you brushed his hand with yours, every time you smiled at him with that soft, affectionate look in your eyes—it burned.

Because Fred wanted to be the one making you laugh, holding your hand, earning your smiles.

But it wasn’t him. And now, sitting here, watching Andrew slide into the seat beside you, his arm draped casually over the back of your chair, Fred finally understood why it hurt so much.

Fred paced the length of the Gryffindor common room like a man possessed, his hands raking through his hair as George, Angelina, and Lee lounged on the sofa, watching with varying degrees of amusement.

“She kissed him,” Fred muttered for the fiftieth time, his voice tinged with both disbelief and frustration.

“Yes, Fred,” Angelina said patiently, not bothering to hide her smirk. “We were all there. You don’t need to recap.”

“But—” Fred turned on his heel, his expression wild. “How did I not see it before? How did none of you tell me?”

George snorted. “Mate, we’ve been dropping hints for years. You’re just thick.”

“Excuse me?” Fred stopped pacing long enough to glare at his twin.

Lee chimed in, grinning. “He’s right, you know. It’s been painfully obvious to everyone but you. Honestly, we were starting to think you’d never figure it out.”

Fred groaned, collapsing into a chair and burying his face in his hands. “What am I supposed to do now? She’s happy with Andrew. I can’t just…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“You could do nothing,” Angelina suggested, crossing her arms. “Let her be happy. Maybe keep your mouth shut for once in your life.”

Fred glared at her. “Thanks for the support, Ang. Really helpful.”

“I’m just saying,” Angelina continued, shrugging. “If you care about her, maybe you don’t ruin things for her. It’s not about you, Fred.”

George tilted his head. “Or—and hear me out—you could tell her how you feel and let her decide.”

Lee grinned. “Or—and this is my favorite option—you stage an elaborate prank to scare off Andrew, then swoop in as the knight in shining armor.”

Fred groaned again, throwing his head back against the chair. “You’re all useless.”

“Hey, I’m giving you options,” Lee said defensively.

“Yeah,” George added. “And Angelina’s just saying what she’d do if she were you. Personally, I think you should grow a pair and tell her the truth.”

Fred shot him a look. “It’s not that simple.”

“It never is,” Angelina said, her tone softer now. “But you’ve got to figure it out, Fred. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep driving yourself—and the rest of us—mad.”

The sound of the portrait hole opening drew their attention, and there you were, stepping inside with your bag slung over one shoulder and a slight frown on your face.

Fred’s heart skipped a beat, and he immediately sat up straighter, trying to look normal—which, of course, only made him look even more suspicious.

“Everything okay?” you asked, glancing between the group and Fred’s suspiciously guilty expression.

“Fine!” Fred said quickly, his voice a little too loud.

You raised an eyebrow but didn’t push, instead walking over to your usual spot by the fire. You dropped your bag on the floor and pulled out a stack of parchment, rifling through it with a small, frustrated sigh.

Fred couldn’t take his eyes off you. It wasn’t anything special—just you being you—but the way your hair caught the firelight, the tiny furrow in your brow as you concentrated, the way you bit your lip when something didn’t go right…

In that moment, Fred knew.

Knew that no one else would ever make him feel the way you did. Knew that no one else would ever measure up to you. Knew that he couldn’t keep this to himself anymore.

Now he just had to figure out how to tell you.

“Merlin, he’s gone,” George muttered, nudging Angelina. “Look at him.”

Fred ignored them, his mind racing as he tried to think of something—anything—to say. But for once in his life, words failed him.

Fred had never been one to overthink things. Usually, he went with his gut, said whatever was on his mind, and dealt with the consequences later. But when it came to you, every plan he came up with seemed doomed from the start.

The first time he tried, it was on the way to Charms. He’d spotted you walking ahead, your bag slung over one shoulder and your hair bouncing as you moved. His heart did that stupid thing where it sped up, and before he could stop himself, he called your name.

“Hey,” you said, slowing to let him catch up.

“Hey,” he replied, suddenly feeling like his tongue had turned to lead.

You smiled at him, that warm, easy smile that made his chest ache. “What’s up?”

Fred opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Andrew appeared from the other direction.

“There you are,” Andrew said, grinning as he slipped an arm around your waist.

Fred’s jaw clenched, but he forced a smile. “Right. See you in class,” he mumbled, walking off before either of you could reply.

The second attempt came during a group study session in the library.

Fred had been unusually quiet, his eyes darting to you every few seconds. You were sitting across from him, absently twirling your quill as you read over your notes.

“Hey,” he said suddenly, leaning forward.

You looked up, tilting your head. “Yeah?”

“I—”

“Shh!” Madam Pince hissed from across the room, glaring at Fred like he’d just set one of her precious books on fire.

Fred sighed, leaning back in his chair as George smirked beside him. “Smooth,” George muttered under his breath.

The third time wasn’t even his fault.

He’d waited until you were alone in the common room, curled up in your usual chair by the fire. It was late, and most of the others had gone to bed, leaving the room quiet and cozy.

Fred took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he approached. “Hey, can we talk?”

You looked up at him, your expression soft but curious. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

Fred hesitated, the words hanging on the tip of his tongue. This was it. He just had to say it.

But before he could, Lee burst into the room, laughing loudly about something George had apparently done. The noise startled both of you, and whatever fragile moment had been building between you vanished in an instant.

Fred sighed, watching as you smiled politely at Lee’s antics before heading upstairs to your dorm.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

Andrew was as kind and attentive as ever, but your heart wasn’t fully in it. You caught yourself zoning out during conversations, your mind drifting to memories of late-night laughs and pranks with Fred.

Andrew noticed.

“You’ve been a bit distant lately,” he said one evening as you sat together by the lake. His tone was calm but serious, his eyes searching yours.

“I’m sorry,” you said quickly, though you weren’t sure what you were apologizing for.

Andrew smiled faintly, shaking his head. “We should talk. Really talk.”

You nodded, your stomach twisting with unease and the underlying feeling of already knowing what was about to come.

The rain fell steadily, soaking through your cloak and chilling you to the bone, but you didn’t care. After your conversation with Andrew, you’d needed space to think, to feel, to breathe.

That was why you stayed in the same spot he left you in, even when it began to pour.

But tonight, the storm wasn’t just inside.

The sound of footsteps on the dock pulled you from your thoughts, and you turned to see Fred, his red hair plastered to his forehead and water dripping from his clothes.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice carrying over the rain.

Fred shoved his hands into his pockets, looking equal parts frustrated and relieved. “I could ask you the same thing.”

You shrugged, turning your gaze back to the water. “Needed to think.”

Fred hesitated, then stepped closer, the wood creaking under his weight. “And you couldn’t think inside? Where it’s dry?”

You huffed a laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Guess not.”

An awkward silence stretched between you as the rain continued to fall. Fred shifted on his feet, clearly trying to work up the courage to say something.

He hadn’t planned this, hadn’t thought through what he wanted to say.

“You’re really something, you know that?” he blurted finally, the words spilling out before he could stop them. “You’re out here in the rain, and I’m the idiot who followed you, and… Merlin, I don’t even know where to start.”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression guarded. “Then don’t.”

Fred shook his head. “No, I have to. Because—because you drive me mad. You’re all I can think about, and it’s infuriating because I don’t even know when it started, but it’s just… there. All the time.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the raw honesty in his voice.

“You know, Andrew is… perfect, really. Kind, understanding. Says all the right things. And he’s right. He’s everything I should want.”

Fred’s jaw tightened, but he kept his voice steady. “If he’s so perfect, then why are you out here? With me?”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you blinked, suddenly unable to meet his gaze.

“Why, if Andrew’s so perfect, are you standing out here in the rain with me instead of him?” Fred pressed, his voice soft but insistent.

Your chest ached, and before you could stop yourself, the truth spilled out. “Because he’s not you, Fred! He never was.”

Fred stared at you, his breath hitching as your words sank in.

You laughed bitterly, swiping at your wet face. “Andrew is kind and caring and everything I should want. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s not you. And that’s why we ended things. He knows he’s not the one I want to be with.”

Fred didn’t move for a moment, as though your words had stunned him. His wide eyes searched yours, raindrops slipping down his face, mingling with the uncertainty you saw flicker there.

But then, something shifted. Determination sparked in his gaze, and in one swift motion, he stepped forward, closing the distance between you. His hands, rough yet gentle, cupped your face, his thumbs brushing against your rain-damp cheeks.

The kiss came like a thunderclap—fierce, overwhelming, impossible to ignore. His lips claimed yours with a desperation that stole the breath from your lungs, as though this was the only way he could make you understand everything he couldn’t say.

The rain blurred everything around you—the trees, the lake, the world itself—but Fred’s warmth anchored you. His hands trembled slightly against your skin, betraying the vulnerability beneath his boldness.

A soft gasp escaped you as your fingers curled into the fabric of his soaked shirt, pulling him closer instinctively. The rain had drenched you both, but Fred’s heat seeped through the layers, making you feel like nothing else mattered.

His lips moved against yours, earnest and unrelenting, as though he feared you might slip away if he didn’t hold on tightly enough. And yet, there was no demand in his kiss, only a raw, aching need that left you dizzy.

When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, Fred rested his forehead against yours, his breath ragged. His hands stayed on your face, as if letting go would break the fragile moment between you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but firm, his thumb brushing away the rain—or was it a tear?—from your cheek. “Forgive me?”

The rain continued to fall, cold and relentless, but it didn’t matter. Fred’s eyes searched yours, unguarded and full of something that made your chest ache.

“Always,” you whispered, your voice trembling but resolute.

Fred’s lips curved into the faintest smile before he kissed you again, softer this time but no less consuming.

From a distance, George and Lee watched from the cover of a nearby tree, Angelina holding an umbrella over them with a triumphant smirk.

“Told you,” George said smugly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lee muttered, crossing his arms, but not before handing George the bag. “I still say it’s weird to bet on your brother’s love life.”

“Not when it’s this predictable,” Angelina chimed in, snatching a Galleon from the bag. “You’re welcome, by the way. I made this happen.”

“You did nothing,” George said, rolling his eyes. “They’re just idiots. Idiots in love.”

#harry potter #fic #fred weasley #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #weasley twins #imagine #weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred fic #fred weasely x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fluff #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley fic

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marsdql · 1 day ago

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𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ p. childhood boyfriend!sim jaeyun ⤫ 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳﹒wc: 9.2к﹒g. romantic drama, emotional romance, angst, slowburn, light fluff﹒cw. emotional distress, ghosting and abandonment, suidical thoughts, mental health struggles, manipulation, past trauma, reconciliation and healing, triggers of emotional abuse, toxicity, high levels of angst and emotional intensity, mild references to past toxic relationships. @wheretheheckis-ssaki

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ synopsis ﹒During middle school, you and a boy in your friend’s class—named Sim Jaeyun—were inseparable, you both had your own friendg roup, he was a popular guy on the soccer team while you were a normal girl, yet would talk to each other on the phone everyday the second the bell rang. You both eventually fell for each other but had to keep your relationship private due to drama with girls. A year later—after everyone found out about you guys, he unexpectedly distanced—then disappeared. 10 years later, when you move to France for a few weeks due to a project in uni, you and Jake cross paths once again. (NOT PROOFREAD)

Sim Jaeyun, he was the best boyfriend I could ever think of having, he was my first love, definitely. It started in the seventh grade, when he was in class 7G—the same class as my friends. I remember when my bestfriend first told me about how he’d catch people playing Roblox in class and signal it to the entire class—that’s when I started teasing him—he was my best friends locker buddy, so I’d see him everyday.

Everytime id see him—when he would be arguing about something stupid with his classmates, I’ll snarl at him, “shut up Jake! Go play your Roblox!”. For some odd reason, he was REALLY talkative, but the second I’d say that, he’d just shut up. He’d smile at me and continue packing his things to get to the bus, forgetting about the entire conversation he had with the people next to him.

Until one day, another normal day of me telling him the same line, he actually responded this time. ‘How about you go play Roblox, huh?’ He said. ‘Okay, I will then, make sure you join me in jayjay simulator!!!’ I replied—I don’t know why I said “jayjay”, it just came out—soon enough, that would be the name all the girls would start calling him—because of me. As I walked away with my bestfriend—heading to the bus, I whispered to her, “hey, you know, Jake is kinda cute.”

— rest below cut ! —

Later that day, I decided to add him on my phone, message him—tease him a little bit more, he was funny—his reactions. He wasn’t like other boys, when you’d argue with him, he’d do it in a goofy way, he wouldn’t say actual harmful stuff—not to me Atleast.

- Jake: who is this?

- You: You didn’t join me in jayjay simulator. :(

- Jake: Hehe, yes I did!!!

He was so cute, even his messages were adorable. Whenever I’d playfully roleplay and fake random situations, people would call me childish, but with him, he’d play along, fully convincing eachother that everything we said was real.

I was determined to talk to this guy everyday, I’d find a random topic that has been spreading around our grade so that everyday, after school, I’d message him, using it as an excuse to talk to him. And it worked! I noticed that he’d even find some stuff too, so that he could message me. Once, he asked me for anime recommendations even though everyone knows him and his friendgroup hated anime, they made fun of it—except for blue lock of course—since it’s football related.

During my pe class, his friends that were in my class were destroying me in badminton—they weren’t that good…..but I just sucked at the sport! He peeked in, hoping to waste time from his class, and I screamed “Jake!!! Help me, your friends are bullying me…”

he was such a nice person to me, I’d tease him and say that he was rude in order to keep talking to him—in my mind, if I was accusing him of something, it’d be another reason for him to keep responding to me— and of course, it worked, I’m just a genius.

We were genuinely so funny, we both wanted to talk to eachother whenever we had the chance, but didn’t know how. Our biggest highlight was when we’d send random emojis to eachother for 4 hours straight just because we had no conversation anymore.

On February 14th, at the valentines dance, we were pressured to hug by the crowd. At this point, I had the biggest crush on him but nobody knew. Since he was popular and quiet talk compared to the other boys(puberty hit him the earliest), most of my friends fancied him. I was stuck, how could I tell my friends that I liked him first, when I never told them? Anyway, we didn’t hug, we’re both so awkward and to be honest, I’m glad we didn’t, it’s too cringe hugging like that!

When we got home, he messaged me, telling me he’s sorry he didn’t hug me because….. his teacher was watching and didn’t want him to tell his parents??? What a stupid excuse… That’s not the point, Y/n get back into the topic! I don’t remember how we got to the conversation but we were talking about crushes, who we liked. I kid you not, it took us 3 hours to confess, and it was so obvious we were saying we liked each other! We kept asking each other for hints, obvious ones. But eventually, we both said each others name at the same time. I remember so vividly that I was playing cards with my brother, unable to focus because of the joy I was feeling after reading my name pop up.

Now that I look back at it, I realize how mature we were for our age, even though we confessed, we didn’t do anything about it, we didn’t start dating or anything—just got really awkward, stopped talking in real life after that…

Fast forward the summer of 7th grade, when we got together July 2nd at 2am. To be honest, it wasn’t the way I expected it to be.

A girl from my grade messaged me:

- g/n: Hey! You’re close to Jake, right?

- You: Hi g/n! And yeah, I am, why?

- g/n: well… me and him have been messaging for 2 weeks now and I kinda like him. I was hoping you’d help me?

I beg your pardon? Me? Help you? I don’t even know this girl, all I knew was that she was some popular girl in a big friendgroup. That friendgroup was always around jake’s, they craved their attention so much—it disgusted me. But, it’s not like he’s my boyfriend, who am I to say no, maybe he likes her.

I helped her that entire night—telling her to text him certain things that only I knew he’d enjoy. They started doing the same thing me and him did on Valentine’s Day, guessing each other’s crushes, it took me aback, I self sabotaged myself—for no reason at all. During all of it, he was messaging me at the same time, acting a sweet to me. For no reason at all, he sent me this out of context message, “Y/n, I enjoy messaging you a lot.” Seconds later,

- g/n: He was taking too long to tell me his crush so I just told him I like him and asked if he wants to get together!

What? Did I just read that right… I acted as if I didn’t see her message and went to respond to jake’s instead. “Oh really?” I questioned him, my heart was beating so fast at this point, I didn’t know what was going to happen, it has been months and we’re still in a talking stage, surely he wouldn’t get with a girl he started talking to just 2 weeks ago, right? That’s what I thought until another message popped up.

- g/n: GIRL OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU HE JUST SAID YES OMGOMG.

the second she said that, he responded to me, “yeah, I really do, you’re my favourite person to talk to.” Oh heck no. I’m hysterically sobbing—what the hell?

Okay I can’t do this deep detail stuff, fast forward again—he told me and the girl goodnight—well actually, he only told the girl goodnight, I’m the one who told him goodnight before he could say anything else because I was so close to blocking him. But, I couldn’t hold it in, I had to confront him.

- You: Jake, I know you’re not asleep, respond

- Jake: What’s up?

- You: Tell me now, who’s your crush?

- Jake: you already know who

- You: no I don’t, who is it

- Jake: you

- You: then why did you just ask out g/n?

- Jake: who told you

- You: it doesn’t matter who told me, answer me.

- Jake: I promise you I’ll tell you when you tell me who told you

I tried so hard to keep my composure, but I told him everything. Then, I asked him politely, “who do you want? Me or g/n?” no intention in making him choose between us, I genuinely wanted to know because I didn’t want to be lead on if he liked g/n—and I didn’t want g/n to be lead on in this relationship if he liked me. I never made him choose between us, I simply asked him who he liked because he just agreed to dating a girl 2 hours ago and is now telling me he likes me, anyone in my situation would’ve done that, right?

- Jake: you I pick you

- Jake: I want you

- Jake: I’m so sorry I was just desperate for someone and I thought you liked one of my friends at this point, I was so desperate I just agreed to her.

We got together right after he broke up with her the following morning—maybe it was kind of stupid of us to do it so soon, but we were both waiting in eachother since the day we confessed all those months ago, it was summer, everything felt right, we had a huge conversation that night and talked about eachother and all our hidden secrets til 4am. In that conversation, we also made it clear that we would keep our relationship private because he had friends who liked me and I also had multiple who liked him.

Riingg ! — back into reality.

8:00am, you get up, brush your teeth, and your hair, wear a basic outfit you barely looked at before picking, and walk to the train station—waiting a few minutes for it to arrive.

There goes your alarm, woah, you just experienced your entire love story with Jake again, in a dream—you almost thought it was real. You're now 22, can’t believe that all happend 10 years ago. It feels as if it happend yesterday. Although, a lot has changed since then, You're not the same as before, you arent in middle school, or high school at all—but rather studying medicine in one of your dream universities. Your personality has changed a lot, the way you act has matured a lot aswell—you now know that you don’t need to be a brat in order to get people’s attention, hah…

Although your life has changed, the place to where your mind wanders hasn’t. You still remember the time you and Jake risked a day to go on a field trip downtown to a haunted house in the 8th grade—right after summer. You remember all the stares you got as you walked together—not even holding hands or anything, just simply walking. Everyone would ship you guys together—yet got so mad when they suspected that you two were dating.

A few days—not even—a few hours after the field trip, pictures of me and him were spreader everywhere. I was officially done for. My friends had left me a little before it all, I was already dealing with that loss—and now, I had to deal with the entire population of girls in my grade hating on me—simply for hanging out with a friend everyone knew I was close to.

I just didn’t get it. Everyone would ship us, everyone knew we were close, we didn’t even kiss—or hold hands—or hug—or anything! Why did everyone get so mad? They didn’t know or get the confirmation that we were dating—so why did I get ignored by everyone so secretively? Nobody talked to me about it, rumours spread about me and only me—about Jake—just me. The worse thing was, I didn’t have a say in anything. Nobody could say anything to my face, it was all behind my back, nobody dared to say anything while I was around, I never found out what they said—only small details of my last remaining friends that would overhear small stuff from crowds.

That’s basically how my entire 8th grade was like. I know some people would see it as a compliment that nobody could say anything to my friend—not even humiliate or bully me for it, but I felt as if it was the biggest curse ever. I never had a chance to speak about it, talk my feelings.

The worse part is—Jake said it was going to be okay, he didn’t care about what people thought about us. But just a month after the entire incident—he ghosted me for two weeks, came back to say sorry then did it again for two weeks. Then, it became a month and came back later to talk about how he was moving to France at the end of the year. I knew about it already, I was the only person he told, but it felt so much wise because he was talking about it during a period where he was just constantly ghosting me.

It was soon going to be his birthday so I decided to send him a huge paragraph:

I’ve deleted every single person off my Snapchat to make sure we keep that “you and Jake have been each other's number one best friend for 2 months!” Even though it’s been almost a year since we had it, you know it only changes from 2 weeks, 2 months and two years. Yet still, you lost it. So so busy of you to lose that feature, texting someone else. I saw you online for a good 3 hours. How are you busy?

I said I don’t mind if you’re busy because we each have our own lives, but you’re completely ghosting me.

I can’t take a single apology from you anymore it makes me even more angry and frustrated I hate how much you take advantage of me because you know I’ll be the first to say “it’s alright” or “don’t think about it too much, I forgive you” and completely forget about every single breakdown I’ve had because of you.

I hate all of your sorry messages I hate the way I felt so happy each time you apologize even though you never changed, I hate when I begged you to stop calling you a bad boyfriend even though you are not only a bad boyfriend but the worst newest person that entered my life, I hate how much I can’t stop loving you despite all of the pain and hatred I’m getting from you, I hate how much I miss the times you were actually excited to text me, I hate it when I actually believed that you’d love me forever, I hate it when we talked about our future together and how we both prayed to be soulmates, I hate how you’re always the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, do something, cry, laugh, lay down, work, and every single other thing I do in my life. I hate how much I love you more than you love me and I hate even more how much I’m aware of it. I hate the night you killed me inside and still found a way to make me happy in the end with your tricks. I hate how happy you look in real life when I see you with your friends knowing I have one friend and always have to plan ahead if she’s not here, how I have problems with everyone and even that current friend I’m not happy around, compared to you and your amazing friend group where everyone loves you and you love them.

I hate how you still manage to have a smile on your face even when we’re not texting. I don’t understand how much I hate you right now but it’s not hate as in how much I hate my old friends, it’s a hate of sadness and of “how could you do this to me” hate. I hate you so much I can’t get rid of you. I love you too much and that’s why I hate you. I hope to one day look back at my 8th grade and hopefully say that all this pain was all worth it in the end because I’ve ruined my childhood so much 7-8th grade because of you.

Tomorrow January 12 2024 will be the day me and you met last year. We’ve known each other for a year. Why does it feel like I’ve known you my whole life and I’ve felt miserable since birth? I can't do this anymore.

I wish I could be as happy as you when you’re with your friends, I wish I could be as careless as you, I wish I could go months without texting their partner just like you, I wish I didn’t need to worry if someone’s going to leave me or not, I wish I could have peace and calmness in my life, I wish I had friends I actually enjoyed, I wish I didn’t need to feel so lonely all the time, I wish I didn’t have to look down whenever I see you in the hallways so that I don’t embarrass myself, I wish I wasn’t always so angry, I wish I didn’t care so much about everything, I wish I wasn’t sensitive, I wish I was crying right now, I wish I could leave and forget everyone I met last and this year including you, I wish I didn’t start talking to you, I wish I was your first and only option, I wish I didn’t think of you everytime a song came up, I wish I didn’t think of you when I see something that I know you like, I wish I could find an end to all the things that come up to mind that don’t stop flowing when I’m writting these, I wish I didn’t waste all that money on you, I wish that Snapstreak I paid back for because you lost it, wasn’t lost again because you just didn’t feel like doing it anymore, I wish I didn’t cry to sad songs because they remind me of you, I wish I didn’t see myself in every mentally unstable situation, I wish I could go to sleep peacefully, I wish you were there when I needed you most, I wish you felt the way I felt, I wish you experienced the stuff I went through, I wish you could understand how I feel, I wish you would listen to me for once, I wish you’d understand the things I feel, I wish you knew how much I’m hurting, I wish I could tell someone about all my problems without feeling guilty afterwards, I wish I could shut my mouth up and stop talking so much especially when nobody enjoys it, I wish you’d snap-text me the way we used to, I wish you’d randomly tell me how much you love me like before, i wish you would beg me for forgiveness when you’d forget to reply for like 5 mins unlike how you leave me on delivered on purpose for 2 days now, I wish you felt grateful for me still being here, I wish I could move places and forget everything, I wish my sins weren’t all on my back even though I’m trying to move on, i wish I could move on from you, I wish I could forget about you the way you so easily forgot about me, I wish I could go to sleep without crying, I wish I could stop listening to my thoughts, I wish everyone would like me like you, I wish you’d understand everything and everyone I lost because I was with you, I wish you’d see how much people hate me because I’m with you and they were jealous, I wish you realize that i didn't care about how I have no friends because I knew I’d be able to talk to u when I get back home, that’s why I’m hurting so much now.

I wish you could ignore the girls that try to hit you up, just like how I do with the boys that simply want to be my friend, I wish you understood how stupidly I miss you, I wish you could treat me how I wish a man could treat me, I wish you’d never leave to France, I wish you never find a new person in France, I wish you’d understand how I can’t live without you anymore and it’s all your fault, I wish you’d see and understand that I feel so worried because I don’t want to lose you, I wish you’d comprehend that I wouldn’t get jealous for no reason and that I was overprotective but rather that you’re my first love and I’m scared of losing you, I wish you’d understand how much I try to talk to you and be around you, I wish you know and see how I finish all my work early or do it later just to try and be able to talk to you as much as I can, I wish you’d know how I’m writing all of this right now instead of revising for my test tomorrow. I wish I wouldn’t feel so tired after crying about you for just a few minutes, I wish my eyes weren’t always heavy because of you and crying because of you, I wish I could stop loving you forever.

Happy birthday Jake! Whenever I write ur name it always pops up as “JAKEEE” and it might sound stupid but I smile everytime I see it. I’m writing this at 11:19pm, on a day where you’re ghosting me, again for the second time. I don’t know what’s the reason this time, knowing you couldn’t keep your promise of not doing it again that you said not even a week ago.

I hope you’re aware I’m not stupid, I see when you’re online, I know you’ve left me on delivery for two days on purpose. When I said I don’t know about your reason “this time”, I in fact don’t know a lot of things that you do. When you’re in trouble I know you go on your phone for a couple minutes, you just decide to not even check up on me with that time. It sounds pathetic and unimportant but in my point of view it’s the most gut wrenching thing to know because I would, without a doubt, pick you out of everyone to talk to if I was going to die and had one last chance to talk to someone.

I’m typing all of this and I’m not even sure if we’ll make it till your birthday but, I’ve decided to completely forget about you when it hits 2024 if you still kept ghosting me because I wanna turn into a new person and throw away my past and all my old mistakes behind me that have been affecting my present. I try so hard to give myself excuses about you not texting, maybe you’re doing something with your parents like you said you were doing, maybe it was a surprise trip! But then I think more and realize that if you wanted to text me and say why you couldn’t text, you would’ve and if you couldn’t, you would’ve tried.

I hate how much I love you and I hate how much I’m aware that you don’t love me the same amount. My December is the absolute definition of “Hell”. I decided to wait for winter break to talk to you all about it and make myself better. What a fool I was for waiting and thinking you’d still text me the same. I hate how we text now, I don’t care about anything I just wanna feel special texting you the way we used to.

When I used to always tell you how tired I am based on how tired you are(like when you weren't tired and I was, I’d lie and say I wasn’t either, don’t know if you know what I’m talking about) I’d say it because I know myself, I know how if you were sad I’d be sad, if you’re happy I’m happy, when you’re not around I’m sad and when you’re around I’m happy.

You don’t understand the times I Thanked god each time you texted me back, even when it turned into an argument. I rather argue with you instead of no contact. That's how much I enjoy texting you. No matter how much I’ve cried and felt miserable being with you at times, I can’t seem to let you go. No matter how many boys that have liked me and I’ve never told you about, I decided to ignore and move on with my life. No matter how handsome they were, I myself don't understand why I see something in you that I don’t see with anyone else. Not being able to let you go is what kills me and I physically cannot live without you.

I can’t live a few hours without you, especially when I don't know the reason why you’re gone. When you told me you leave the people you don’t like texting on delivery, you told me that February 2023, a few days before the Valentine’s dance. If I told my February 2023 self that I’d be one of those people you keep on delivering, I’d laugh and start talking about how you’re such an amazing person.

And what’s worse is, I still laugh at myself and talk the best about you, even when I know deep down all the things I would rather swallow glass than go through again when I was with you.

I remember all our memories like it was yesterday, Jan 12, the first conversation when I added you on discord and you asked me “who is this” and i replied with “why didn’t you join me in nana simulator”. That day when going in the bus I told ____ “hey that Jake guy is kinda cute” but didn’t think it would get this far.

The time you made that stupid lie about not hugging me because mister ____ was there and u didn’t want ur parents to know.. I knew it was a lie, and I wasn’t upset that you didn’t hug me, I was uncomfortable as well at that moment, I was upset because someone hit me.

The night you got with g/n that was the same night you got with me. Every single conversation we had I remember it, even the stupid moment when you said you only liked g/n 40%. You say a lot of stupid things that turn out funny, that’s why I try to make myself feel better thinking you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but I forget that you’re not a child and you know everything you do.

I seriously wish I was lying when I say I never cried this much in my life except when I met you, even now. Right now, you’re even active on Instagram and of course I’m still on delivery. I’ve never felt so pathetic and embarrassed in my life, just looking at that “delivered 2D” thing on ur name. How I watched your name go from “jake” to “Jake❤️” to “jaeyun” to “j” to your original name on snap that you have on default. “⚽️”.

I love you so much that even my mother loves you. Whenever you weren’t texting me (practically the entire December), my mother would ask me about you a lot, I knew she loved you so much and I didn’t want you to have a bad look to my mother so I’d lie to her for you and tell her that you just texted me that you couldn’t text and whenever she’d ask me again, I’d tell her that you were saying the truth and u haven’t went online ever since, even though I knew that you were online half of the time.

I’ve tried seeing you all the time at school just to look at you and act if we are still texting, even if it meant crying a bit in class while thinking about you because I was left without explanation and you always look so happy, despite my absence in your life.

I keep lying to myself and saying that you mean the words you say to me but I know you don’t try to see me in every person you come across the same way I do, you don’t think of me the second you wake up at night the way I do, you would never look for me In a room full of girls.

I wake up from dreams in the middle of the night and even if it was a nightmare my first thought would be you, even if most likely the nightmare would have something to do with you. When my phone is next to me and I wake up, the first thing I do is put my phone down and in my head I say “please say you texted” knowing that each time it’s never you. I go back to sleep and wait for a message knowing I’d never wake up again if it were the case. I say I wish you could communicate more so I could understand how much you love me but, do you not love me as much because you lack communication or do you lack communication because you don’t love me as much.?

I don’t really know how this happy birthday thing turned into a whole story about my love life with you and how miserable I’ve been ever since school started again. It’s 2:01am now and I just can’t seem to fall asleep when you’re on my mind. My head hurts thinking so much about you, my head goes dizzy and my eyes start to pump as if they have their own heartbeat, disgusting..

I love you so much I wish I could forget about you for my own well being.

7 snaps in the morning, none of them are you. So many boys on my phone yet you're still the only one I wish would text me. My head knows ur bad for me but my heart doesn’t wanna leave you, I’m scared of losing every opportunity of being able to be with you, but I guess I’m just wasting that time with my own well being.

3 days doesn't sound like a lot but when you’re always online and ignoring me on purpose, it sure is a long time. I wish I could leave you on delivery for that long. I tried to ignore you a few times but I couldn’t last more than 4 minutes. It hurts how much we are different in this relationship and how much love is we feel is unequal

I tried as much as I could to keep you as my number one best friend on snap. I told my entire best friend list that I couldn’t talk so that nobody would go up, and it still managed to get ruined. Lina spent her days spamming me and making me reply to stories she posts so that she could take the number one best friend list on my list, and it worked. I doubt I was still yours anyway.

It’s funny because it’s news years and 2 years ago, this was the day i met the online friend who left me.

The one I was attached with for 2 years and ruined my entire mental health throughout 6 and 7th grade. The one that YOU replaced. The one I talked about for hours with you on TikTok, the one I told you I would tell everything and ever since he left, you were the new person I started acting as if it was him.

That guy, that nasty guy I was best friends with, blocked me for fun and ghosted me just to see me suffer without him, and you’re just repeating all of it.

I know you’re never going to message me, yet I realize I keep checking my lock screen every 5 minutes, your Instagram status, your reposts, your snap score, everything. I keep myself on not disturb but keep checking to hope that maybe, just maybe, you would’ve decided to check my messages and reply.

If I knew that night was gonna be the last time we were gonna talk to each other, I would’ve listened to my gut and begged you to stay. I’ve repeated many things, this entire “paragraph”(more like a book lol.) is in scrabbles because I don’t know how to explain myself, I write so much each time and just keep feeling the same, no happiness.

I know I said if you don’t text before it hits 2024, I’d forget you and erase you from my life because I’m trying to change, but the truth is, I’m sure that even if you text me after, I’d reply the second I see your name. Although I might be still a little too confident thinking you’d text at all. I don’t want to leave you, even when I know it’s better for me. I want to text you “I wanna break up” so you could make some sense when you’re half swiping my message and quickly reply, but I’m scared that you wouldn’t question it and instead just say okay and leave for good.

I hate always being the one that gets attached in relationships, especially when the other isn’t.

I hate how when you came back after ghosting me for 2 weeks before ghosting me again this time, you were acting as if you were embarrassed and very guilty about what you did, you made me feel bad for you. While I was the one suffering and crying every chance I got, I was the one comforting you. “You don’t need to say sorry, I knew you wouldn’t do this without a reason, I know you wouldn’t mean it.

Even before you came back and said sorry, I had forgiven you. I just want you to focus on yourself but please, communicate with me next time, I’ll understand you.” Those were the words I told you. Why can’t anyone comfort me the same way I comfort people? Why were those the words I wanted to hear? Why are you, the one who makes me smile and who makes me wanna die as well, why are you the only reason I wanna keep living? Why do I see my life only as Important because I know if I died I wouldn’t be able to text you anymore?

I see you use Snapchat by your snap score going up, gosh it feels so pathetic to know I’m still on delivered. Stop doing this to me please I beg you it hurts too much I can’t handle any of it anymore. My eyes are constantly stinging and it hurts so much, I don’t deserve this, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, with me, not at the look of me going crazy over you not texting me. I’ve been crying for hours and usually I’d run out of tears to cry, why is it that I keep gaining more this time?

Oh please, come back to me, I bear seeing anyone else with you. Our stupid conversations about getting married and lasting forever with eachother, why have you forgotten all of it?

I would’ve never thought i'd feel this way, i thought I loved my life and the only stress I had was school, why am I on winter break and going absolutely insane in the bathroom and in my room over a person like you.

I would’ve never thought id ever wanna die, why do I feel like it’s my only option to peace right now? Suicidal? No way! But I seriously can’t escape from the thought of you, I need you out of my life, but that would be worse, I just wish I never met you, that’s also a lie. I wish you never changed, I miss the times you would care about how I felt.

This month, December, is my worst year. I needed you most at this time, why did you make it harder for me, purposely? Remember when you got mad at me for playing with ___? Haha I was so sad you were ignoring me again and you admitted you didn’t wanna talk, I loved how overprotective you were acting, but why were you jealous about him when he treats me better than you? Why do I love you more than someone who treats me so much better?.

Wow, when I finished writing that, you checked my message. Dec 31 7:14. Opened. Let me guess, you’re gonna start apologizing “MY BAD MY MAD IM SO SORRY I GOT IN TROUBLE.”

And would you look at that, I wrote in my notes app:

Yup, just as a I thought, Jake: MB MY PARENTS TOOK MY PHONE. I sent this to him, all he had to say was he needed time alone and said “see u” when I said “byeee” what the hell. If I killed myself it wouldn’t be enough for this man..??? He doesn’t text me properly for almost a month and he needs TIME ALONE??? Ugh! Happy new years! I told him happy new years on 12 exactly and all he said was “thanks u to” and I said I was gonna become nicer and he said “cool” so I’m going to be straight up with him and ask if we are breaking up. I don’t wanna wait anymore t’il HE'S READY. All he said was no. Wth — His last words were; I love you so much, I'm sorry, I'll message you when i get the chance.

It’s safe to say, I really was going insane. He never texted me again in 8th grade after that—until, the summer before 9th grade. I remember how he asked if we could talk when I have time, he was in France by now by the way. I told him that I was surprised that I’m hearing him again, and said sure. All he had to say was, “I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m sorry for ghosting you and all, I was really going through it” I beg your pardon?

That’s all he wanted to talk about? Quickly, I respond with:

- you: No, Jake. I want to know what happend , why did you do that?

- Jake: I promise you, It was personal problems y/n

He was so stubborn, I know it wasn’t the reason, we would go through things but we’d go through them together—not the way he did it. But, i always saw the good in him, even in that moment, i wasn’t angry at him. When I was with him, he was amazing—so I always wanted to keep that image of him and not swifch up so quickly just because he ghosted me for practically a year now. But still, i had to do what I had to do so—I asked him the big question:

- You: you know, we never properly broke up, so, what is it? Do u still like me? You haven’t talked to me in forever, you’re supposed to answer this.

- Jake: you first

Not this again.

- you: Jake no. You’re the one who left so you’re the one who answers it.

- Jake: no no just please you first

- You: Jake. What do you want from me? opened.

There he goes again, that was for real the last message. I never heard from him again-

“next stop, _____ university” —

There’s the train—perfect timing.

Today’s a weird day—maybe because it’s snowing, maybe because its the month he first started acting weird. Usually, you think of him before bed, not during the entire morning… You miss him, it’s been a while—You still wonder where he is now.

Sometimes, you wonder if you should drop out of university and become a famous model—maybe then he could recognise you and reach out.

You can barely remember his voice, you lost all my old videos from before you even started texting—those were the times you actually heard him speak, the rest was small talk and then completely no contact. Even when you guys were dating, you never spoke in real life—too scared and nervous.

You're finaly off the train—heading to class now, exams are coming up. You never got to experience it with Jake since he left to go to high-school in France, did I mention that already? You say to yourself. Actually, he had never removed his name from your school so when you had attendance on the first day of nineth grade, he was called in every single one of your classes. What a coincidence, you had never gotten in the same class for two years but then could’ve got all your first semester classes with him if he hadn’t left—what a way to play with your reason to live.

University isn’t like highschool anymore—it’s quieter, people are more focused on themselves than things that people have to say about eachother. You have a small group of friends that you met In highschool, you're glad you're still in touch despite how many years it’s been.

9:09am—huh??? Your class starts in a minute, shoot!

You dont know why you rushed to get to class so quickly… it’s too boring, You're bout to fall asleep. As you were about to lay your head on the desk and doze off—you heard your professor mutter something a little interesting for once.

“Okay students, this doesn’t have to do with our major but the board entered my name to do a small project out of context. Today, and for the following month, there will be 15 people from this class and the class that starts in 2 hours who will travel abroad—more specifically to France-“

That’s all you needed to hear—you didn’t care about the rest, you heard France and knew that you were going to be participating in this activity. It’ll be fun, you say, i'll get to experience how Jake lived in France, you say. You say it all, with no intentions of actually meeting Jake. You just wanted to experience what he experienced, maybe it'd make you feel a little closer to him. Like always, you made everything in your life, about him. It’s like he was famous in your mind.

You needed a break from your current place anyway, everything was all over the place, you felt as if you’ve been living the same days over and over again. Maybe this was an opportunity to change things a bit—get you out of your comfort zone.

You signed up so quickly to the program my teacher talked about a few days ago. You already found a roommate to stay with for the time you'll be staying there.

The guy you arranged to live with was a little bit younger than you, but you didn’t mind—you just needed a place to stay for a bit. You soon learned that he goes to the same university that you’ll be studying in, which is nice—you’ll have someone to help you around everything.

You’re counting the days until you leave—you called with the roommate and found out a few extra things about him. His name was ni-ki, he was also a foreigner except he’s permanently staying there. He’s in the same major as you and as you exchanged schedules, you saw that you guys had 2/4 classes together—that’s nice, already got a buddy to be with for half of your classes!

You're now in France, heading to your apartment—ready to meet Ni-ki. Right before you can manage to knock, he opens the door—as if he was waiting for you by the door. "Hey," he speaks, his voice low and deep. He was tall and slim—it reminded you of Jake. You don't know how he looks like anymore, you haven't in a while. The last time you saw him, he was tall, above all the boys in your grade, you don't know anything about him anymore actually.

Before you could continue being lost in thought, Ni-ki speaks up once again. "How about you go get some rest, you look tired. You can tell me about your trip in the morning. Sounds good?" You nod, you were exhausted, the trip was long and you could barely close your eyes in the plane.

'Oh and, y/n, by the way, i'll invite some friends over for a bit, if that's alright with you?' 'yeah that's fine don't worry, I bet you i'll be so deep in sleep that I wouldn't even wake up if you guys bomb the place.' What a lie. You couldn't fall asleep at all.

right as you thought you were going to fall asleep, you heard the door burst open, the people Ni-ki invited finally arrived. You could hear like—five people? Oh wait—no—a sixth one—who.. Sounded a lot like—Jake.

You couldn't remember his voice but when you heard something like him—you just knew. What a great discovery, even if you were going to finally get some sleep—you definitely aren't now. You sat in the bed you were assigned to sleep in, listening to the boys downstairs chatting—the guy who sounded like Jake wasn't really talkative, maybe its not him—actually, you're sure its not him—you're just eavesdropping so that you could pretending that you're listening to Jake's voice.

In the morning, Ni-ki had to wake you up for your class because you were still used to your old timezone. 'y/n... we have class in like 30 minutes...' 'Five more minutes... Get off of me, let me sleep!' 'I'll rip up all your clothes if you don't get up.' 'What? What! Okay, okay I'm up!'

You both ran to class, your apartment wasn't on campus but it was still close. You were introduced to the first two classes with Ni-ki by your side, you followed him everywhere for those first two periods—but now, you two next are alone—and you have no idea where to go.

Luckily, you spotted one of your teachers from your morning classes, they had to go fill out some papers and correct tests so they couldn't give you a tour of the school—but guided you to Ni-ki's class so that he could be excused out of his class and help you.

You walked into his class behind your teacher, not bothering to look at anyone to try and find him—too scared you'll make awkward eye contact with anyone who isn't him.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson, Chanelle, but could we please steal your student Nishimura Riki for a period? We have a new foreign student who knows him and needs a tour of campus." Your teacher said to the one who was currently teaching Ni-ki's class. "Oh why of course, and don't apologise, i needed this few second break..." She responded. "Nishimura, get down here"

As she called him over, you follower her eyes—trying to spot Ni-ki. Then, you found him, laying back on a chair with his feet on the table, surrounded by 6 boys—probably the ones from yesterday.

'Hey ni-ki, whos that girl next to the teacher? You know her?' The purple haired boy asked. Just as you were going to smile and wave at him, your eyes spotted one of the boys who stood out a bit brighter than the rest—due to his immersive stare at you. Jake. There he was. Yes you haven't seen him in a while, but those eyes never change. it really was him—right infront of you. It was Jake.

You didn't utter a single word—turning quickly and just waiting for ni-ki to get down. You always imagined what you'd do when you saw him again—you just didn't expect it ever to be like this.

In the afternoon, after both you and ni-ki got back to your apartment. You built up the courage to ask him, 'Hey, ni-ki, who were those boys you were with when I came into your class searching for you?' 'Oh them, those are my best friends. Heeseung, the purple haired one you heard, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Jake. We've been friends ever since i got here, but they've been childhood friends since they were little—except Jake, he came during highschool, but that's still a while ago! Y/n? Are you listening-' 'Yes! Yes! I am indeed!' 'Oh okay, well yeah. Actually, they're coming over again—i'll properly introduce you to them then!'

Excuse you? Coming over? Again? How many times do these boys come over? They just visited yesterday... "Again?" you spoke, voice a little lower than you hoped it'd be. "Yeah, they come over all the time, you'll love them, trust me!" He said, love filled in his eyes as he spoke about his friends—completely unaware of what you were currently thinking.

Minutes passed and suddenly, the doorbell rang. You instinctively froze, Ni-ki jogged to go get the door, leaving you in the living room alone, awkwardly waiting. "Guys, this is the girl from earlier, this is y/n, shes my roommate" One by one, they entered the room, you got up and kindly greeted all five of them—until it was turn for the sixth one who took a little longer to remove his coat after hearing ni-ki's words.

When it was Jake's turn, your heart sank, you looked at him from close up—he was different. His face had matured, his hair had thickened, He body looked a lot fuller and grown up than you last remember. A lot changed—but it was still so easy to tell it was him. Perfect nose, flawless face, the same eyes you fell in love with.

"Y/n?" Jake spoke, in a questioning tone, way lower than how he used to speak. You were surprised that he even said something, if you two were in 8th grade, he wouldn't even be able to look your way, head down as he walks past you to make it seem like he didn't see you—while you would stare at the lockers, the opposite direction of him. "Long time no see" was all you said, though your mind was saying alot more.

"You two know each other?" Jungwon asked as you both nodded. "What a small world!" Sunoo added.

The rest of the night was awkward, both you and Jake sneaking glances of each other, trying to admire everything that changed. We haven't seen each other in 10 years, It's normal. For a split second, you both had eye contact—his eyebrows lower than usual, his eyes in a weird shape, like if it was an apology.

He used to be so active, so energetic—but tonight, he was even quieter than when I heard him yesterday from upstairs.

Sunghoon and Heeseung requested to watch a movie. You tried distracting yourself by helping Jay pick out snacks from the pantry, but his gaze was burning you, you could feel it no matter what you do. All of a sudden, ni-ki requested Jake to go grab some drinks. As he walked past you to the fridge he whispered, "Y/n, can we talk?"

It was starting to get late, each member leaving, keeping you and Jake alone. You didn't want to talk in the apartment with ni-ki so you both requested going outside the apartment, take a little walk as you talk.

It reminded you of when you went on that field trip, walking downtown with lights everywhere, as if you were in a movie, as if the world was only you and him, nothing else mattered. After minutes of silence, he broke it, Jake finally spoke.

- I didnt expect to you again. He said

- I didnt either.

- I wanted to apologise for everything, I know i said that the last time we spoke, but i really mean it this time. I know that whatever the reason was, I should've never acted that way.

- But Jake, how many times have we been through this before? Its been 10 years and yet you still say the same thing. I don't even know why I'm still here, listening to you say all of this, even after all the time that passed.

- I know I was always wrong, i know. My parents forced me okay? They didn't think I'd be able to focus on my education if I kept talking to you. My graders were dropping and they thought it was because of you when really it was because i was fooling around with my friends. I know you asked me if it was because of my parents and I said no but I was just so scared I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to disrespect my parents either and tell you that they were telling me to leave you.

As you were trying to find the words to respond to him, he continued.

- I know i was a jerk, and i dont expect you to forgive me so easily especially that im saying all of this so late, I didnt know if you would want to ever see my face again anyway. I needed to say this all because i cant keep it in anymore.

At this point, he’s sobbing, unable to even walk anymore—he just sat there, on the side of the road. His hands covering his face and trying to wipe his tears as fast as he face—now, avoiding your gaze at all times.

You’ve never seen him like this, he never cried, never spoke about his feelings, he never thought he should because he wanted to look strong all the time. “okay Jake, I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago, just please, get up Jake. Let’s go to your place, I can’t leave you like this, please.” You pleaded, feeling sorry for him. You knew he had a kind heart deep down despite everything, your heart ached at the scene in front of you.

You got to his place, helped him wash his face, his face flushed, embarrassed that he did all that after seeing you just once aft all those years. Everything was weird, despite the entire scene, everything was still unspoken, leaving plenty of things to discuss about.

As you sat him down on his couch, he said, "Y/n. I promise you for real this time, i'll tell you everything, I'll explain everything right now, I want to fix things even if it takes another 10 years to cure it all."

"Okay." you said, everything felt like the day you two confessed, explaining the unexplained, answering the questions you both were wondering about each other's actions back there.

Maybe it was going to take a while to get everything adjusted again, but you didn't mind, its not like you waited 10 years already, you know how to wait. None of that mattered right now, you were just relieved that finally—you have answers.

Maybe, it was worth it—having you famous in my mind.

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verycoolusername1 · 3 days ago

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Somebody Who Will

Summary: In which you get the best present of all this holiday season... even if it can't fit under the tree

Track 2 of fruitcake - buy me presents

A/N: missed writing for my babyyy

I never done secret Santa before so idrk how it's done- so I'm apologizing beforehand.

Working for the devils was amazing as it always is well if you exclude the absolute chaos that happens when you're hanging out with the team.

Seeing Cap every day was definitely a plus. Did you have a crush on your co-worker who you definitely shouldn't have a crush on? Yes.

Did you tell one of his best friends about said crush on your fellow co-worker? Also yes.

Jack nudged your side, getting your attention.

"Did you hear Nico? We're doing secret Santa today." Jack told you. "I just hope I don't get Luke again."

You laughed beside him. "What a nightmare that was."

"Haha very funny." Jack rolled his eyes.

You put your hand in the bowl and picked up a piece of paper, Jack did the same as well.

Your eyes widened when you saw the name on yours, Nico.

"Shit," You cursed. "Hey Jack can we switch?" You whispered.

Jack only chucked. "Hm sorry dude, mine is actually a good one. Who did you get? Was it Nico?"

Jack laughed louder when you didn't reply. "Oh my god is it actually?"

You huffed. "Don't get too happy, only gonna make my feelings for him worse than it already is."

"Well we have two weeks till the Christmas party, I'm sure you'll find a gift and a way to tell him." He reassured you.

You shrugged. "Yeah yeah, whatever you say hughes."

"I mean I can help you... but only if you get good photos of me on the ice today." Jack looked at you, seriously.

You rolled your eyes. "So more girls can swoon over you? No way."

"Fine help me with mine, and I'll maybe set you up with Nico, I got Dawson." Jack confessed.

"See now we're getting somewhere, this can work." You grinned. "And hm I'll throw in the photos for free."

Jack hugged you tight. "You're the best!"

"I know, you never tell me enough."

The next two weeks have been a blur, suddenly you were about to go to the Christmas party in a couple of minutes, gift in hand.

When you first walked into the party you were heavily greeted by some of the wags and of course, Jack.

"Have you talked to Nico yet? Did you confess your undying love for him?" Jack immediately laughed.

You swatted your hand at him in embarrassment as the wags gave knowing looks, some smirking.

"He's... he's joking guys." You tried to tell them.

One of them chuckled. "Don't think I ever seen Jack joke about this." The wags began agreeing.

You groaned internally, it was one thing when Jack was saying it but the wags as well? You were doomed.

"Oh hey is that Nico over there? On the balcony." Jack pointed out.

You snapped your head immediately, ignoring the chuckles and saw that Jack was in fact right.

"I-I'll be right back." You begin to walk off, the wags and Jack(who is somehow the loudest) cheering you on.

You opened the door, signaling your arrival. Nico's shoulder relaxed when he saw it was you.

"Hey." He smiled softly.

You moved closer to him. "Hey. I got you a little something."

You gave him the gift which he immediately accepted. You awaited his reaction as he unwrapped the gift. A photo of the two of you in a photoframe(that you definitely didn't steal from Jack).

"Wow..." Nico was at a lost of words.

It was a silly photo really, Jack took it one night. You smiled big at the camera while Nico was too busy looking at you, trapped in a love sick gaze.

"This is amazing." Nico looked at you. "Thank you."

"Oh it's not a big deal, kinda had to get you something." You shrugged it off to ignore your racing heart.

Nico chuckled softly at your reaction, clearly amused.

"So what's with the bow?" You chuckled, gesturing to his hair where it was stuck... oddly.

"Jack made me do it." Nico mutters. "Said I would make a good present for you? I did get an actual present for you though, it's kinda big."

You are grinning, biting back a smile. "Well you still look cute if that means anything."

Nico pulled you closer in his embrace. "Oh yeah?"

You nodded. "Definitely."

You take the bow off his head. "I like you better without it though."

You looked back to see Nico with a slight flush appearing on his face.

"You truly think that?" Nico asked, vulnerability evident in his tone.

You nod slowly, smiling. "Of course, I would be a fool if I didn't."

"I love you Y/n." Nico's hand traces your hip lightly. "Just wanted you to know."

You sighed. "I love you too Nico, no need to worry about it."

You leaned into his touch, the two of you staying like that for a while as the night whisked you two away in your own little world.

#nhl imagine #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl players #verycoolusername1 #new jersey devils #nico hischier #jack hughes #njd #nico hischier fanfic #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier imagines #nj devils #nh13

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vicariousresearcher · 6 hours ago

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Neighbour!141 and how they get your attention.

Neighbour!Price who is constantly offering you help. Sees some furniture boxes at your door and is offering to put it together for you. No? Well surely you need some tools at least, make it all easier. No no he doesn’t mind truly. He doesn’t want you trying to fix everything up with just an allen key now does he?

Shovels your side walk, up to your door even. When you come to him the next day all apologetic and saying that you were just about to do it, seriously he didn’t need to. He just brushes you off saying that ‘birds don’t need to be out doin that.' It‘s okay, he was doing his anyway.

Listening when you complain about your shitty landlord who has yet to do anything about your faulty water heater. You’re in those shorts he’s only seen through the window, arms crossed and rambling as he thumbs at the valves.

“It’s a no go bird. You gotta buy a whole new heating element and get it put in dere. If you’re needin to, you can shower at my place till this gets figure’d out ya?”

Neighbour!Kyle who honestly you see more outside of your neighbourhood than in it. You have no clue how but you two always end up in the same place at the same time.

Grocery shopping? Oh he's here too, it has the best deals on produce! Excursion? Oh he just wanted to see the new exhibit at the aquarium just like you, great minds think alike. Eating something in your favourite cafe during your lunch break? He slides in the seat across from you with a playful smile saying ‘how its nice to see you here neighbour’.

You don’t even know he slipped a tracker in your purse during one of these bump ins.

That's how it starts. A friendship with a man you apparently have so much in common with. You have to with how much you see him at your favourite places. Even that niche little diner that you love as soon as you mention it he’s finishing off its name and talking about how their sweets are so good.

“What do you mean you haven’t had any? Want me to grab you some next time I go-actually no how about we just go together. I need to see what else you’ve been depriving yourself of. Come on, we’ll go in the evening when it’s nice and quiet so it’ll just be us.”

Neighbour!Johnny who sees the sweet thing living next door and knows he needs to get his hands on you. But he’s smarter than those pretty eyes and dumb grin would let you think. He wants you to come to him. He just needs to prove what a prize he is first.

So he finds every chance possible to workout outside.

Deliberately does his stretches for his morning run where you’ll be able to see while you make your coffee for the morning. Absolutely chuffed when he makes eye contact with you while he’s mid shirt pull. The way you go bug eyed when caught ogling has him ready wanting to ask if you liked the show.

Now, god forbid you have a dog. He’s making friends through the fence, coming up to your door offering to take the sweet thing on a walk if you want. Truly he would love to have a running buddy please let him take your pupper out. It becomes normal enough that you don’t even bat an eye when he’s offering to take your baby out when you’re not home.

“I don’t mind taking my boy out once in a while. His mama’s busy but I’m not. Where’d you say you keep your outside key?”

Neighbour!Simon who quickly learns that he can’t offer to help you round because it comes off as….creepy. He’s the one you think is going to tag you with a tracker or follow you to work. The one that has you holding your keys between your fingers when pulling in at night.

So he takes a different approach. Needy, confused, and helpless. A military man entirely unacquainted with domestic duties.

He’s pathetic in a stuck racoon kind of way. You know you shouldn’t trust him but the way you’ve heard his smoke alarm go off 3 times in the time you’ve been here has you messaging if he wants some of your supper since you made too much. You catch yourself adding far more while cooking just so you have something to drop off to his doorstep.

You don’t even know how it happened but now you’re in his kitchen teaching him how to make some easy meals with your chicken marinade recipes. Something he won’t burn or over salt. He’s got you rambling away, so blissfully unaware. Safe in his home, so trusting of him now.. He’s made so much improvements with you, no more scurrying away the minute he’s a couple feet away.

“‘m sorry for needin so much from ya. If there's anything I can do just message me ya? Don’t matter what time, I’ll come. Anything you need.”

#for anyone who read the tags on my last post #said ex has since messaged me saying he wants to get back together #hopefully that means I'll have more writing fuel #unedited #141 #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #simon ghost riley #john price #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #price x reader #Neighbour!141

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hannie-roses · 1 day ago

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i have a request 🥺! could you make leeknow x reader. it’s about leeknow having a thing for y/n yk and y/n LIKES SEUNGMIN so basically leeknow is doing everything in his power to make y/n like him but it’s tough since seungmin is y/n’s best friend and they have a shared history together. and leeknow be getting so jealous

Love’s crazy battle

Starring: leeknow, seungmin and y/n fab reader¡

Sypnosis: Y/N’s unbreakable bond with Seungmin feels like an impossible wall for Lee Know, who’s willing to risk everything for her love. He is consumed by jealousy but driven by hope, he fights to prove he’s more than second place. But seungmin gets jealous of the time she’s spending with him.Will Y/N see the love standing right in front of her, or will history win?

Warnings: slow burn, subtle smut

Word count:44.6k

Lee Know had always been a bit of a loner, reserved in his thoughts, but when it came to Y/N, everything changed. He could hardly think straight when she was around. His feelings for her had developed over timesubtle at first, a passing thought here or there, and then the realization that he was falling for her. Slowly, quietly, in a way that wasn’t so easy to ignore anymore.

But Y/N had her own thing going on. She wasn’t oblivious to him, not at all. Yet, she was always around Seungmin, always laughing at his jokes, always turning to him for everything, and Lee Know couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy each time he saw the two of them together. Seungmin was Y/N’s best friend, and their bond was undeniable.

Lee Know didn’t even know when it had happened, but the attraction had started to fester. Y/N had been there when he needed someone, but it wasn’t until recently that the idea of her not being in his life became unbearable.

The way she smiled, the way her eyes lit up when Seungmin said something funny it gnawed at him. I want that. I want her to look at me like that, he thought, staring at her from across the room. She was sitting on the couch, reading, while Seungmin was beside her, his voice animated as he spoke.

Why does it always have to be Seungmin? Lee Know thought bitterly. Why can’t it be me?

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even realize Hyunjin was sitting beside him until his friend spoke.

“You’re staring again, Minho.”

Lee Know snapped out of it, his gaze immediately shifting to Hyunjin. He had been so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice how obvious he was being.

“Uh, sorry,” Lee Know muttered, trying to hide the blush creeping up his neck.

Hyunjin smirked, nudging him lightly. “It’s not like you to get so worked up over a girl.”

Lee Know glared at him, but there was a hint of frustration in his voice. “It’s not just any girl, Hyunjin. It’s Y/N.”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Ah, that explains it. But why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

Lee Know sighed. “She’s always with Seungmin. I don’t stand a chance.”

Hyunjin shook his head, his voice turning serious. “Minho, you won’t know until you try. She might feel the same way.”

Lee Know didn’t respond right away. The thought of confronting Y/N, of putting his feelings out there and risking their friendship, terrified him. But deep down, he knew he couldn’t keep hiding his emotions. Not when his heart ached every time he saw her smile at Seungmin.

Days passed, and Lee Know found himself drawn to Y/N more and more. The way she laughed, the way her eyes lit up when she spoke, it was like she had a gravity all her own, pulling him closer despite the circumstances. It was almost as if he couldn’t stop himself anymore, and his heart betrayed him every time he caught himself staring.

One day, the three of them Y/N, Seungmin, and Lee Know were having lunch in the park. Seungmin and Y/N were discussing something that seemed trivial, but it was enough to make Lee Know seethe with jealousy. They were so natural together, so comfortable.

Why does she turn to him so easily? Lee Know thought, pushing his food around on his plate. Does she even see me?

As if sensing the growing tension in the air, Y/N turned to Lee Know, her expression softening. “Minho, you’re awfully quiet today. What’s on your mind?”

Lee Know’s heart skipped a beat. She was looking at him—looking directly at him, her eyes full of concern.

“Nothing,” Lee Know replied quickly, forcing a smile. “Just… tired.”

Seungmin, of course, didn’t miss the subtle tension. “Are you sure? You’ve been acting weird lately. You usually joke around more.”

Lee Know’s gaze flicked to Seungmin, and for the briefest moment, he felt an overwhelming surge of jealousy. Why does it always come so easily for him?

But he pushed it down, shaking his head. “I’m fine,” he said with a tight smile.

Y/N, however, didn’t buy it. “You’re sure?” she asked again, this time her voice softer.

Why is she being so gentle with me? Lee Know thought. Maybe… maybe there’s more to this than I realize.

Seungmin seemed oblivious to the moment. “Anyway, did you hear about that new cafe opening downtown? Y/N and I should go check it out sometime, maybe this weekend.”

Lee Know felt the pit of his stomach drop. Of course she would go with him, he thought bitterly, although he didn’t show it on the outside.

Y/N glanced at him, catching the edge of his expression. “What do you think, Minho? Would you want to come?”

Lee Know blinked, caught off guard by her sudden question. She’s asking me? It didn’t make sense. Why would she want me to go?

“I… I guess,” Lee Know said, his voice faltering slightly. “Sure. I could come.”

Y/N smiled, a genuine smile that made his heart race. “Great! It’ll be fun.”

Over the next few days, Lee Know found himself spending more and more time with Y/N. It started off casually, with her inviting him along on errands or to grab a coffee, but soon, the interactions became more personal. They shared quiet moments in the library, exchanging thoughts on their coursework. He found himself confiding in her more than he ever had before.

She’s different with me now, Lee Know thought one evening as they sat on a park bench, sharing stories about their childhoods. I never realized how easy it could be to talk to her.

Y/N, unaware of the growing connection between them, laughed lightly as she told him a funny story about Seungmin.

“I swear, sometimes I think Seungmin is more dramatic than I am,” Y/N said, chuckling. “He can’t take a joke to save his life.”

Lee Know smiled, but there was a flicker of something darker behind his eyes. I don’t want to hear about Seungmin anymore. I want to talk about us. But I can’t say that.

“I’m sure he’s just being dramatic,” Lee Know said, his voice lighter than he felt. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, so he changed the subject. “You seem to get along with him really well.”

Y/N’s eyes softened as she looked at him. “We’ve known each other for years. We’re like family.”

Lee Know felt his chest tighten at her words. Like family. And what am I?

But he didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he pushed the thought away, focusing on the warmth of her presence beside him. It felt nice. It felt right.

But as the days passed, he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that Seungmin was still in the picture—still the one Y/N would turn to. I can’t keep letting this happen. I have to make my move.

It wasn’t long before Seungmin began to notice the shift. Lee Know and Y/N were spending more time together, and it was starting to get under his skin. He was Y/N’s best friend, her confidant. They had history, a bond that couldn’t be broken. Or so he thought.

One afternoon, after a particularly long day of studying, Seungmin confronted Lee Know. They were walking down the street, heading to a nearby cafe when Seungmin finally spoke up.

“Minho, we need to talk.”

Lee Know raised an eyebrow, his nerves already on edge. “About what?”

Seungmin’s eyes narrowed, his voice low. “About Y/N.”

Lee Know’s heart skipped a beat. Here it comes.

“Y/N’s been spending a lot of time with you lately,” Seungmin continued, his tone defensive. “And I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Lee Know’s jaw clenched. “I’m not trying to steal her from you, Seungmin,” he said, his voice tight with frustration. “She’s her own person. I can’t control who she spends time with.”

Seungmin’s expression darkened. “You’ve always been a little too interested in her, Minho. I’m starting to think there’s more to this than you’re letting on.”

Lee Know’s patience was wearing thin. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Seungmin took a step closer, his tone growing more intense. “I see the way you look at her. You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”

Lee Know froze, his heart pounding in his chest. How does he know?

“I—” Lee Know began, but he didn’t know what to say.

Seungmin’s eyes softened slightly, but there was still a sharp edge to his words. “You better figure it out, Minho. I don’t want to lose her to you.”

It all came to a head one evening when Lee Know was hanging out with Y/N at a small café. They were sipping coffee, talking about everything and nothing at all, when Seungmin suddenly barged in, his expression dark.

“You’re spending a lot of time with him, huh?” Seungmin said, his voice laced with tension. He didn’t even greet Y/N first, his eyes locked on Lee Know.

Y/N blinked in surprise, but Lee Know wasn’t phased. “We’re just hanging out,” he said evenly, trying to keep his cool.

Seungmin’s gaze flickered to Y/N, who was looking between the two of them, clearly sensing the change in the atmosphere. “I don’t know if I like this, Minho,” Seungmin said, his voice low but sharp. “You’ve been acting different around her lately.”

Lee Know’s temper flared, but he forced himself to stay calm. “What’s your problem, Seungmin?”

Y/N’s eyes darted between them. “what’s happening right now?”

But before either of them could respond, Seungmin raised his voice. “You’re acting like you’re her only friend now, Minho. I don’t like it.”

Lee Know stood up, his chair scraping against the floor. “I’m not trying to replace you, Seungmin. I’m just… trying to be there for her.”

The tension in the air was palpable, and Y/N looked uncomfortable, clearly caught in the middle of their argument.

Seungmin clenched his fists, his jaw tightening. “It’s not about replacing me, it’s about the way you’ve been acting. You can’t just swoop in and expect things to change just because you decided to—”

“I didn’t decide anything,” Lee Know interrupted, his voice rising. “I’m not doing anything wrong, okay? I’m just trying to be her friend, the same as you.”

Y/N stood up now, stepping between them, her eyes wide with alarm. “Stop! Both of you, stop!” Her voice was loud, but there was panic in it, like she was afraid things might actually get out of hand.

Seungmin looked at her for a moment, his expression softening. “I’m just… trying to make sure he knows his place,” he muttered under his breath.

Lee Know shot Seungmin a glare, and for a split second, their eyes locked, both of them silent, the weight of unspoken words heavy in the air. Neither one of them was willing to back down.

“I’m not trying to take anyone’s place,” Lee Know said, voice tight, but now quieter. “I’m just… here, like you are. What’s the problem with that?”

Y/N’s gaze flitted between them, her heart racing. She wanted to scream at both of them to stop acting like children, but the tension was so thick it was hard to breathe.

“I just want things to stay the way they were,” Seungmin said, his tone softer now, almost pleading. “I don’t want things to get… complicated.”

Lee Know turned to Y/N, his gaze softening just a little as he tried to gauge her reaction. She was still standing there, uncertain, caught in the middle of a battle she hadn’t signed up for. She looks so lost, Lee Know thought, his heart aching with the knowledge that he was contributing to the mess.

“I don’t want things to change either,” Lee Know said, his voice steady but not without frustration. “But I’m not going to back off just because you’re uncomfortable with it, Seungmin.”

Seungmin looked at him, then back at Y/N. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, clenching his jaw. Without another word, he turned and stormed out of the café, leaving a stunned silence behind him.

Lee Know stayed where he was, his chest tight. He hadn’t won, but the argument wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

Y/N took a shaky breath and finally spoke, her voice quiet. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Lee Know didn’t know what to say either. His mind was racing, but he couldn’t find the words. Instead, he just stood there, watching her as she struggled with everything between them.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked, his voice soft, almost vulnerable.

She met his gaze, her eyes searching his face for something, anything. “I… I think I just need some time to think.”

The weight of her words hung in the air, and for the first time, Lee Know truly realized how complicated things had become. He didn’t want to lose her, but at this rate, he wasn’t sure what would happen next.

Y/N had left the café with a soft promise to see them later, but the air was thick with unsaid words and heavy thoughts. As soon as the door closed behind her, the atmosphere between Lee Know and Seungmin changed. What had been simmering beneath the surface now exploded in full force.

Lee Know’s fingers clenched around his coffee cup, the hot liquid now forgotten. He watched as Seungmin sat back in his chair, his arms crossed, his expression stormy.

Seungmin’s voice broke the silence first. “You’ve been acting like you’ve got some claim on her, Minho. You think she needs you more than me?”

Lee Know didn’t flinch. “I’m not the one making things awkward,” he said coolly, his voice dangerously calm. “I’ve just been here, trying to be her friend. You’re the one acting like I’m stealing something from you.”

Seungmin’s eyes flashed with a mix of anger and something deeper—something darker. “Don’t even act like you don’t know what’s going on, Minho. You’re not fooling anyone. You’ve been sniffing around her for weeks, and it’s pathetic. She’s my best friend. You don’t get to just waltz in and play the hero.”

Lee Know’s fists tightened. He knew this was coming. Seungmin had been avoiding the truth for too long. But now, there was no denying it—Seungmin was jealous, and not just a little.

“I’m not trying to ‘play the hero,’ Seungmin,” Lee Know snapped, his voice low but seething. “I don’t need to play games with her. But it’s clear you’ve been hiding behind this act, pretending like everything’s fine. You’re scared of what might happen if she knows how you really feel.”

Seungmin stood up abruptly, the table creaking under the sudden movement. “You have no right to say anything about how I feel! You don’t get to dictate what happens between us, Minho. You need to stay the hell away from her.”

Lee Know’s eyes hardened, the challenge in Seungmin’s words hitting him like a physical blow. “What’s that supposed to mean, exactly?” His voice dropped to a low, menacing tone. “You want me to just back off and pretend like nothing’s happening? That we’re all just friends here? Because that’s not how it works.”

Seungmin sneered. “You don’t know anything about how this works. You’re just some guy trying to get into her head. You don’t even care about her. You just want to prove you’re better than me.”

Lee Know leaned in, his chest tightening as his frustration began to spill over. “I care about her more than you’ve ever made her feel, Seungmin. So don’t you dare try to act like you’ve got some kind of claim on her. I’m not backing down. If anything, you’re the one who’s been messing things up.”

Seungmin’s face twisted in fury, his hands trembling with rage. “You think you’re better than me? You think she’ll just drop everything and choose you over me? She’s not going to want some guy who only showed up when it was convenient. I’ve been here for her since the beginning, Minho.”

Lee Know stood up, his breath quickening as he took a step toward Seungmin. “You don’t know what she needs, Seungmin. You’re so busy pretending everything’s fine that you can’t see she’s struggling. You think she wants someone who won’t even admit their feelings?”

“Shut up!” Seungmin shouted, his voice breaking through the tension like a thunderclap. “You don’t know anything about her! You’re not better than me. You’re just a distraction.”

Lee Know’s eyes flashed with fury, his heart pounding in his chest. “A distraction? You think I’m a distraction to her? You think she’s going to look at you and think you’re the one who truly understands her?”

Seungmin’s lips curled into a bitter grin. “At least I didn’t wait until she was falling apart to finally decide I’m interested. You only care about her now because you see a chance to win. You’re just a stupid fucking low life idiot and that’s why nobody likes with you.”

That was it. The words hit Lee Know like a punch to the gut. His vision blurred with anger. He was done. The quiet rage that had been simmering inside him finally boiled over.

Without thinking, Lee Know’s fist shot out, slamming into Seungmin’s face with a sickening thud. The force of the punch sent Seungmin crashing backward into the table, knocking it over with a loud bang. Coffee spilled everywhere, the sharp smell of spilled liquid filling the air.

For a moment, the café was silent. Lee Know stood there, breathing heavily, his knuckles throbbing from the impact. Seungmin’s face was flushed with pain, but his eyes burned with something darker. Something more dangerous.

“You want to keep talking?” Lee Know’s voice was raw, almost unrecognizable with the anger that bubbled up from deep within. “Keep running your mouth. I’m done with this.”

Seungmin stood up slowly, wiping the blood from his lip. His eyes locked with Lee Know’s, and for the first time, Lee Know could see the full force of Seungmin’s jealousy and frustration. Seungmin had always been the calm one, the rational one, but now he was wild, unraveling at the seams.

“You think that’ll solve everything?” Seungmin hissed. “You think throwing a punch is going to make her choose you? You’re wrong, Minho. You’re just as selfish as I am. We’re both just a couple of idiots fighting over the same girl.”

Lee Know didn’t back down. “Maybe, but I’m not going to let you push me around anymore.”

The two of them were standing face to face now, chest to chest, fists clenched and breath coming fast. Neither one of them was willing to back off.

Seungmin’s eyes flared with rage as he lunged at Lee Know, throwing a wild punch that collided with Lee Know’s jaw. The force of the hit sent him staggering back, but he didn’t fall. Instead, he swung his own fist at Seungmin’s face, landing a blow to his cheek.

The fight was messy, chaotic. Every punch, every shove was fueled by jealousy, by frustration, by the raw emotion they both couldn’t control. Both of them had wanted Y/N, and neither of them was willing to admit it openly. But now, the weight of their feelings had led them to this a brutal, ugly fight neither of them had ever imagined.

Hyunjin burst through the door at that moment, eyes wide with shock as he rushed toward them, trying to break the fight up. “Enough!” he shouted, grabbing both of them by the shoulders and pulling them apart with surprising strength.

Lee Know stood there, chest heaving, his blood pounding in his ears. Seungmin wiped the blood from his lip, his eyes filled with something unreadable. Hyunjin didn’t let go of them immediately, his grip firm as he looked between the two.

“You both need to calm down,” Hyunjin said, his voice more controlled than it had been just a moment ago. “This… this isn’t helping anyone.”

Lee Know didn’t respond. His mind was racing, his emotions a mess. The fight had escalated so quickly, but now that it was over, it felt like a hollow victory. What had it solved? Nothing. It hadn’t solved anything. He wanted to be the one Y/N turned to, but now… now he wasn’t sure how to fix things.

The fight had been messy. Lee Know had left the café first, walking out without another word to anyone. He had stormed off, his mind racing with everything that had happened. But now, the dust had settled—sort of.

Seungmin, on the other hand, wasn’t in a much better place. He had lingered for a while, still processing everything that had just happened. It was hard not to feel the burn of that fight, the sting of Lee Know’s words, the punch that had landed with a resounding smack against his cheek. But what really gnawed at him wasn’t the physical pain; it was the fact that Y/N hadn’t been there to witness it.

He didn’t want to admit it, but the truth stung.

The truth was, Y/N was starting to see Lee Know differently. He could see it in the way she looked at him when he was around. The tension in the air when the three of them were together was almost unbearable, and Seungmin hated it. He hated how Lee Know seemed to be inching closer to Y/N every day.

But the next day was different. Y/N had agreed to hang out with him. It wasn’t just another group gathering; it was just the two of them, the way things used to be. Seungmin had invited her over to his house, and she’d agreed without hesitation. Maybe, just maybe, he could regain the comfort he had with her before all of this tension had begun. Before everything had changed.

The air in Seungmin’s apartment felt heavier than usual as Y/N stepped inside. She always loved coming here—his space felt comfortable, familiar, like home. But today, it was different. Everything felt strange, as if something was shifting beneath the surface.

Seungmin greeted her with a casual smile, but his eyes held something deeper. There was a tension there, a wariness that Y/N couldn’t quite place. She couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the fight she’d witnessed between him and Lee Know just a few days ago. Things had changed between them ever since. And though she tried to ignore it, a part of her couldn’t help but feel the shift feel it in the way they both looked at her, in the moments of silence that stretched too long.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Seungmin asked, trying to sound casual. He motioned toward the couch. “We could watch a movie or just hang out… Whatever you feel like.”

Y/N nodded, stepping further into the room. She felt drawn to the couch, sinking into its softness. But as she did, her eyes fell on Seungmin’s arm. Her gaze lingered for a moment, and she froze. There was a bruise on his forearm, just above his sleeve.

“Seungmin… what happened?” she asked, her voice soft, but sharp with concern. She stood up slightly, her eyes locked on the purple-blue mark.

He paused, looking down at the bruise as if he had just remembered it was there. A faint chuckle escaped his lips, though it was humorless. “It’s nothing,” he said, brushing it off. “I… got into a bit of a scuffle with Lee Know. Nothing serious.”

Y/N’s heart sank. She had hoped it wasn’t related to the fight, but now that she saw the bruise, the tension between them felt even more palpable. She sat back down, her thoughts racing.

A part of her wanted to ask more, wanted to know the truth about what had happened, but another part of her knew it wouldn’t do any good. The distance between Seungmin and Lee Know was growing, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. It was like they were both pulling in different directions, and she was caught in the middle.

“I didn’t know it had gotten that bad,” Y/N finally said, her voice quieter now. She couldn’t help but look at the bruise again.

Seungmin shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he repeated. “I’m fine. You don’t need to stress about it.”

But Y/N wasn’t so sure. She studied him, her eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, the way his hand tightened around the edge of the couch. There was more beneath the surface, and she could feel it in her bones.

“Okay,” she said softly, though the worry in her chest didn’t go away. She changed the subject, trying to push the awkwardness aside. “What have you been up to lately?”

Seungmin leaned back, trying to relax, but Y/N could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers drummed against the armrest.

“Same old stuff,” he replied, but his voice was distracted. “School, work, and dealing with… everything else.” His eyes flicked toward her, searching for something in her expression. “I haven’t had much time to… think about anything else.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at his words. The way he said it made her wonder—was he talking about Lee Know? Or was he talking about something else entirely?

She tried to ignore the way her stomach fluttered at the thought.

They sat in silence for a moment, the air thick with unspoken words. Y/N shifted on the couch, her body feeling warmer as the space between them seemed to shrink.

“So,” Y/N began, trying to lighten the mood, “What do you want to do today? Really, I’m good with anything.”

Seungmin glanced at her, his lips twitching into a small smile. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “How about we just… hang out? No pressure.”

Y/N smiled, though her mind was still caught on the bruise. It was hard to focus on anything else when she could still feel the weight of it in the air. She shifted again, glancing down at her phone, but when she looked up, she found Seungmin watching her—his eyes locked on hers with an intensity that she wasn’t quite used to.

It was like everything in the room slowed for a moment. The sound of her own breath filled her ears, and for a brief second, she wondered if she could hear his heart beating too. They were sitting so close now, the space between them feeling like nothing at all.

Y/N’s pulse quickened as she noticed how his eyes dropped to her lips for just a fraction of a second before meeting her gaze again. She held her breath, unsure of what to do, her mind swirling with thoughts she couldn’t quite put into words.

Seungmin leaned forward slightly, just enough for Y/N to feel the heat from his body. His breath brushed against her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine. Her heart thudded in her chest, the anticipation thick in the air.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his voice low and almost a whisper. “I…”

Before he could finish, Y/N’s eyes flickered to his lips again, and that was all the invitation Seungmin needed.

Without thinking, he closed the distance between them. His lips brushed against hers in a soft, tentative kiss. It was light, almost hesitant, but the moment their lips met, it felt like the world had shifted.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, her hand reaching up to rest against his chest. Her heart pounded in her chest as Seungmin deepened the kiss, his hands gently cupping her face. Everything else faded away—the fight, the tension, the complicated emotions swirling around them.

It was just them now.

Y/N pulled away first, her face flushed with heat, her breath shaky. She stared at Seungmin, her heart still racing as the weight of what had just happened sank in.

“Seungmin,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, as she tried to steady herself. “What are we doing?”

His forehead rested against hers, his hands still gently holding her face. His breath was heavy, matching her own, and for a long moment, neither of them spoke. The only sound was the thumping of their hearts, beating in sync.

“I don’t know,” Seungmin whispered back, his voice thick with emotion. “But I can’t stop… I don’t want to stop.”

Y/N felt the tension between them pull tighter, the air around them crackling with intensity. There was no going back now, but as much as she wanted to give in, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to change. Something that might tear them apart.

But in that moment, with his lips hovering just inches from hers, she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything else.

The following day, the weight of everything that had happened the day before lingered heavily on Y/N’s mind. The kiss with Seungmin the one that had caught her completely off guardwas still on her lips, like a taste she couldn’t quite shake off. But today, she needed to focus. She wasn’t about to let one moment complicate things more than it already had. She couldn’t.

But then, there was Lee Know.

She tried not to notice the way his eyes followed her every move, the subtle way he lingered at the edges of her vision. He was always around. It made her uncomfortable and yet… something about it tugged at her in a way she couldn’t fully understand.

Seungmin, on the other hand, had been quieter today. Y/N caught him stealing glances at her in between classes, but the energy between them felt different unsure, like the weight of their unspoken feelings hung between them, thick and heavy. She liked him. She definitely did. But something inside her was still unsure. She couldn’t help but feel like there was something she was missing.

It wasn’t just about Seungmin. Lee Know had been in the background, too, his presence so constant it was impossible to ignore. But there was nothing she could do about that, right? He had always been a little mysterious, a little aloof. And she didn’t need more complication in her life right now.

The school day dragged on, the hours stretching into what felt like an eternity. As the final bell rang, Y/N grabbed her bag and headed for the doors, ready to meet Seungmin outside. She had promised him they’d hang out. Just the two of them.

But as she walked through the crowded hallway, she couldn’t help but notice that all the noise seemed to fade away, and all she could hear was the rhythmic beat of her heart in her chest. The feeling of someone watching her sent a shiver down her spine. She turned slightly, her heart skipping a beat.

There he was.

Lee Know was standing at the end of the hallway, leaning casually against the lockers, his eyes locked onto hers. His usual teasing smirk was absent, replaced by a steady, unreadable gaze. Y/N felt her pulse quicken despite herself. She told herself it was nothing, that it was just Lee Know being his usual self.

But there was something different today.

Before she could look away, Lee Know pushed himself off the lockers and started walking toward her. He moved with a purposeful calm, and each step seemed to slow down the world around them.

Y/N’s hand tightened around the strap of her bag. She was supposed to be meeting Seungmin—why did Lee Know always have a way of pulling her in? She could feel the tension building in the pit of her stomach as he got closer.

She tried to ignore it, tried to focus on the fact that she was meeting Seungmin, but Lee Know’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“Y/N,” his voice was low and smooth, and it stopped her in her tracks.

She turned toward him, trying to keep her expression neutral. “Lee Know, what’s up?”

He stopped right in front of her, so close she could feel the warmth radiating off his body. His eyes were intense, fixed firmly on her, but his expression remained unreadable. There was a flicker of something there, something deeper than just his usual teasing.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” His voice was quieter now, more serious than she’d ever heard it.

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, she felt the familiar hand on her shoulder. Seungmin’s face appeared in her line of sight, confusion written all over it.

“Y/N, are you ready to go?” Seungmin asked, his gaze flickering between her and Lee Know.

Y/N hesitated, her mind racing. She wanted to spend time with Seungmin, but the way Lee Know was looking at her now… it was different. She could feel the unspoken challenge in the air. She could feel the pull between them, an almost magnetic force.

Lee Know didn’t look at Seungmin. He didn’t acknowledge him at all. His eyes stayed focused on Y/N, unwavering.

“You know I was just about to head out with Seungmin, right?” Y/N tried to keep her tone light, even though she could feel her heart beating faster.

“I know,” Lee Know replied, his voice oddly calm. “But this won’t take long. I just need a minute with you.”

Y/N glanced at Seungmin, but his face was hard to read, his expression tight. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, his attention focused solely on Lee Know.

“Seungmin, it’s okay,” Y/N said softly, trying to smooth over the tension. “I’ll be right back.”

Seungmin nodded, but his jaw was clenched, his eyes still wary as Y/N was gently led away by Lee Know down the hallway.

Y/N felt a sudden chill run down her spine as Lee Know guided her toward an empty classroom. The air felt heavier, charged with something that made her stomach tighten. Her mind racedwhat was he going to say? Why was he acting like this?

Lee Know opened the door, and Y/N stepped inside before him. She didn’t have a chance to ask what was going on before the door shut behind them with a soft click. She turned, about to speak, but the words stuck in her throat when she saw the way Lee Know was looking at her. His eyes were darker now, his posture rigid, and there was no trace of the usual playful demeanor. He was all business now.

“Lee Know, what’s going on?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her heart pounding.

He didn’t answer right away, only closed the space between them with deliberate steps. His gaze never left her face, and it made her feel exposed, like he could see right through her. The tension in the room was thick, suffocating.

“Why do you always let him have you?” Lee Know’s voice was low, almost dangerous, as he spoke. There was an edge to it, a frustration that had been building for too long.

Y/N blinked, not sure how to respond. “What do you mean?”

Lee Know let out a sharp breath, his eyes flashing with something unreadable. “You know exactly what I mean. The way you look at him. The way you let him get under your skin. It’s so… obvious.”

Y/N felt a rush of heat spread across her chest, her mind scrambling to keep up with his words. “I don’t Lee Know, I don’t understand. Seungmin is just my friend.”

Lee Know’s lips curled into a smirk, but it wasn’t playful. It was bitter. “Is that what you tell yourself?”

Her pulse quickened as he took another step closer. “I told you, it’s not like that between us.”

“I don’t buy it.” Lee Know’s voice was steady, but there was an undeniable fire in his words. “You think you can have him and have me too? That you can keep playing this game?”

Y/N’s breath hitched as his face came dangerously close to hers. Her heart thudded erratically in her chest. “What do you want from me?” she whispered, her voice barely a breath.

Lee Know’s eyes softened for a split second, and in that moment, she saw the intensity of what he was feeling something raw, something desperate.

“I want you to see me,” he said quietly, almost like a confession. “I want you to see what I’ve been trying to show you this whole time.”

Y/N’s heart raced as the tension between them built to an almost unbearable level. She was frozen, unsure of what was happening, of what he wanted. But she couldn’t deny that the pull between them was undeniable. The words hung in the air like a silent promise, and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe.

Y/N’s pulse was hammering in her ears as she stood there, locked in the classroom with Lee Know. The space between them seemed to shrink with every breath she took. She tried to gather her thoughts, but all she could focus on was the intensity in his eyes, the way he was standing so close, his presence overwhelming in the small, empty room.

“Lee Know, I…” Y/N began, her voice shaky. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, but there were so many emotions bubbling up inside herconfusion, frustration, and something else she couldn’t quite place.

He watched her, silent and still, his gaze never leaving hers. “What is it, Y/N?” His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, like he was waiting for her to say something that would make this whole thing make sense.

Y/N swallowed hard, her breath coming faster as she looked up at him. “I don’t understand,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why are you doing this? Why are you pulling me away from Seungmin like this?”

Lee Know’s expression softened for a brief moment, but his gaze was still intense, searching her face like he was trying to read her every thought. He took another step closer, closing the distance between them even more. She could feel his breath on her skin now, each exhale a reminder of how close they were.

“Because you don’t see it, Y/N,” he said quietly, his tone suddenly vulnerable. “You don’t see me. You never have.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, and she took a small step back, but there was nowhere to go. The classroom felt smaller with every passing second, the walls closing in on her as Lee Know continued to advance. Her mind was racing, her thoughts a whirlwind of confusion and conflicting emotions. Why was this happening? Why was it so hard to breathe?

“You’re not just a friend to me,” Lee Know said, his voice almost a whisper now. “You never were. And I’ve tried to show you, in every way I could, but you always ran back to Seungmin.”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. She wanted to say something, anything, to make sense of this, but nothing felt right. Her heart was telling her one thing, but her mind was still tangled in knots.

“You don’t understand,” she finally managed to say, her voice breaking slightly. “I never wanted to hurt you. But… Seungmin… he’s my friend. I don’t know how to—”

Lee Know cut her off, his voice suddenly fierce, intense. “You think I don’t understand? You think I don’t know how much he means to you?” His eyes burned with frustration, but there was something else there too something darker, something desperate. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. But why does it always have to be him, Y/N? Why can’t it be me?”

Y/N felt a rush of heat spread across her chest, her mind racing to make sense of his words. She could feel her pulse pounding in her throat, and her breath was coming in shallow gasps. She wanted to step back, to put distance between them, but her body betrayed her. She couldn’t move.

His face was inches from hers now, his hands resting at his sides, fists clenched, as though he was holding himself back. But she could see the way his jaw tightened, the way his eyes flickered down to her lips, and she knew.

He wanted this.

She wanted this too.

And yet, the tension was suffocating. The silence between them stretched out, thick and heavy, until it felt like the air itself was crackling with something dangerous.

“Lee Know,” she whispered, barely able to breathe, “what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he reached out, his fingers brushing gently against her arm. The simple touch sent a jolt of electricity through her body, and she instinctively stepped closer, drawn to him in a way she couldn’t deny.

His hand cupped her face, his thumb brushing gently over her cheek, and she closed her eyes, the sensation overwhelming.

“Y/N…” His voice was soft, pleading, as if he was waiting for her to give him permission. “Please…”

And then, without another word, he leaned in, closing the final gap between them.

Her heart stopped in her chest as his lips brushed against hers, tentative at first, like he was testing the waters. But the moment their lips met, the floodgates opened. All the tension, all the unspoken words, the emotions that had been building between them for weeksthey were released in that one moment.

His hand slid to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened. Y/N’s mind went blank. She couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything except the feeling of him so close, so warm, his lips moving against hers with an urgency that matched her own.

For the first time, the confusion, the tension, the fear it all melted away. There was only Lee Know. Only the way he made her feel.

When they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting together as they tried to steady their breathing. Y/N’s chest rose and fell rapidly, her heart still racing in her ears.

Lee Know’s hand was still gently cupping her face, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

“I don’t want to be just another guy to you, Y/N,” Lee Know murmured, his voice hoarse. “I want to be the one you choose. The one you see.”

Y/N felt a rush of conflicting emotions swirl inside her. She had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. And yet, there was something about being with him in this moment that made everything else fade away.

“I…” Y/N started, but the words stuck in her throat. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what. She was caught between the pull of her feelings for Seungmin and the overwhelming intensity of what she felt for Lee Know.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “Take your time, Y/N,” he said softly. “But don’t keep running from me.”

Y/N stood there, her mind racing, trying to process what had just happened. She had never expected this never imagined she’d be caught in the middle of such a storm. But here she was, with Lee Know standing so close, his presence impossible to ignore.

Lee Know pressed his forehead to hers, his breath still shallow as they lingered in the moment. He leaned in again, his lips meeting hers with more urgency this time, as though he couldn’t wait any longer. His hands slid to her waist, pulling her closer, the heat between them intensifying. The air between them was thick, charged with everything they’d both been holding back.

As he kisses her he moves her up onto the desk.his hands roaming her body.

While kissing her hungrily, his tongue exploring her mouth with an insistent need. His hands roamed over her body, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss. He could feel the heat of her skin through her clothes, and it only fueled his desire.

He then steps between her legs as he pressed his body against hers. His hands moved to her thighs, tracing small circles against her skin as he continued to kiss her, his lips moving down to her neck.

He nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin, marking her as his own.

"Minho..." Y/N gasped, her voice laced with desire.

He pulled back, his eyes dark with lust as he looked at her. "You're so pretty" he growled, his hands gripping her hips.

He leaned in to capture her lips again, this time more forcefully but gentle making sure not to hurt her. He was claiming her.

He began to kiss down her neck, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of marks in their wake. He wanted everyone to know that she was his, that he had claimed her body and soul.

Y/N could feel his arousal pressing against her, a reminder of how much he wanted her. She moaned softly, her body arching into his touch.

In this moment she forgets seungmin is waiting for her outside.

Lee Know's hands moved to the waistband of her pants, his fingers hooking under the fabric as he began to tug them down. He pulled them off in one swift motion, tossing them aside without a care.

He then turned his attention to his own pants, quickly undoing his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. He pushed them down just enough to free himself, his hardness pressing against her through his boxers.

He let out a low groan as he pressed himself against her, the thin layer of fabric between them doing little to dull the sensation. "You feel so good," he murmured, his voice rough with need.

"Please, Minho..." Y/N begged, her body trembling with anticipation.

He chuckled darkly, enjoying the effect he had on her. "Please what, baby?" he asked, his lips brushing against her ear.

She could feel his hot breath against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. "I need you," she whispered, her hands clutching at his shirt.

He smirked, his hands roaming over her body as he teased her. "You're so desperate for me," he said, his voice low and husky. "I am too so of course~"

Lee Know's fingers slid under the waistband of her underwear, slowly peeling them down her legs. He tossed them aside as well, his eyes dark with desire as he took in the sight of her bare before him.

He positioned himself at her entrance, his body tense with anticipation. He teased her for a moment, running the tip of his cock along her slick folds, making her whimper with need.

"You're so wet for me," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "So ready for me to take you."

He couldn't wait any longer. He pushed into her, groaning as her tight heat enveloped him. "Fuck," he hissed, his hands gripping her hips tightly.

Y/N moans quiet, her back arching as he filled her completely. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside her.

He began to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first. He wanted to savor the feeling of being inside her, the way her body clenched around him.

"You feel so good," he repeated, his voice strained with pleasure. "So perfect for me."

Lee Know picked up the pace, his hips slamming into her with a relentless force. The desk creaked beneath them, the sound echoing through the empty classroom.

Y/N was lost in a haze of pleasure, her moans growing louder with each thrust. She couldn't control the sounds that escaped her lips, her body too overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through her. She bites her lip to muffle it.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his voice rough with need. "Let me hear you."

He leaned down, capturing one of her nipples between his teeth as he continued to pound into her. She cried out at the sensation, her nails digging into his back as she clung to him desperately.

Lee Know's pace became frantic, his need for release taking over. He could feel his own climax building, the tension coiling tightly in his gut.

He shifted slightly, angling his hips to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her scream. And scream she did, her body arching off the desk as pleasure coursed through her.

"I'm close," he grunted, his breath hot against her skin. "Cum for me, y/n. I want to feel you come undone around me."

Lee Know's movements became more erratic, his body tense as he chased his release. He could feel her walls fluttering around him, a sure sign that she was close.

his voice ragged. "Let go for me."

He continued to thrust into her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Just as he felt her walls clench tightly around him, he pulled out, spilling himself on her stomach with a strangled groan.

After that and they got dressed and Lee know made sure she was okay. But then y/n remembers seungmin is waiting for her.

Y/N quickly fixed her pants, her heart racing as she glanced at Lee Know, who was pulling his shirt back over his head. The silence between them was heavy, but neither of them dared to break it. She didn’t even want to look at him—not because of regret, but because she wasn’t ready to face what had just happened.

“Y/N,” Lee Know said softly, his voice tentative. He was standing there, watching her, his eyes full of questions he wasn’t sure he should ask.

But Y/N shook her head quickly, brushing her hair out of her face as she grabbed her bag from the desk. “Don’t,” she said quietly, her voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside her. “We can’t… talk about this. Not now.”

Lee Know frowned, his jaw tightening as he took a step closer. “So, what? You’re just going to pretend this didn’t happen?”

She hesitated for a moment, her hand gripping the strap of her bag so tightly her knuckles turned white. “I have to go,” she said, sidestepping him and heading for the door. She felt his gaze on her the entire time, burning into her back, but she didn’t turn around. She couldn’t.

Her mind was spinning as she stepped into the hallway, quickly smoothing down her clothes and forcing her expression to stay neutral. She couldn’t let anyone see that something had changed, that everything had changed.

The moment she saw Seungmin waiting for her near the lockers, her heart twisted painfully in her chest. He smiled at her, his easy, familiar smile, and it felt like a punch to the gut. Forcing a smile of her own, she walked toward him as though nothing had happened, as though she wasn’t still feeling Lee Know’s touch on her skin.

“Hey,” Seungmin greeted her, his voice warm. “You’re late. What took you so long?”

“Got caught up talking to a teacher,” she lied effortlessly, her voice light and casual. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, willing herself to act normal. “Sorry about that.”

Seungmin shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “No worries. Ready to head out?”

“Yeah,” Y/N said, nodding quickly. She fell into step beside him, the weight of what had just happened pressing heavily on her chest. But she pushed it down, burying it deep where it couldn’t surface. Not now. Not when Seungmin was looking at her like that, so oblivious to the storm raging inside her.

As they walked down the hallway together, she couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder. Lee Know was still standing by the classroom door, his expression unreadable, his eyes locked on her.

Y/N quickly turned back, her heart pounding. She couldn’t think about him. She couldn’t think about any of it. Not now.

The next day it’s the weekend.

Y/N lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as sunlight filtered through her curtains, painting faint patterns across her room. The weekend had arrived, yet it didn’t bring the peace she had hoped for. Instead, her mind was a battlefield, torn between two faces—two sets of eyes that seemed to haunt her every thought.

Lee Know. Seungmin.

She turned onto her side, clutching her pillow tightly as if it could somehow absorb the chaos swirling in her chest. Her heart was a mess of contradictions. When she thought of Seungmin, she felt warmth, comfort, and familiarity—memories of laughter, long talks, and the easy rhythm they had built together over the years.

But then, there was Lee Know. The memory of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, the way his voice sent shivers down her spine. He was raw, overwhelming, and impossible to ignore. Being with him had felt like stepping into a storm—terrifying yet exhilarating.

Y/N groaned, burying her face in the pillow. “What am I doing?” she muttered to herself, her voice muffled.

She had always prided herself on being logical, practical. But now, logic had deserted her entirely. How had she gotten to this point? How had everything become so tangled?

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, and she reached for it hesitantly, her heart skipping a beat when she saw Seungmin’s name on the screen.

Seungmin: Morning! Want to grab lunch later?

Y/N’s fingers hovered over the keyboard as she hesitated, her mind instantly flashing back to Lee Know’s face—the way he had looked at her after everything that had happened. She hadn’t heard from him since, and the silence was unnerving. Did he regret it? Did she?

Before she could answer Seungmin, another buzz made her jump. This time, it was a message from Lee Know.

Lee Know: We need to talk.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she sat up, her heart racing. She stared at the two messages, the weight of them pressing down on her like a tidal wave.

Two boys. Two choices. And no idea which path would lead to happiness—or heartbreak.

Y/N set the phone down without responding to either of them. She needed time to think, to figure out what she truly wanted. But the more she thought about it, the more trapped she felt, like she was caught in a web she couldn’t escape.

She got out of bed and padded to the window, looking out at the quiet street below. Everything looked so normal, so simple, and yet her world was anything but.

“Why can’t this be easy?” she whispered to herself.

But deep down, she knew the answer. It wasn’t easy because both Seungmin and Lee Know meant something to her. And no matter what she chose, someone was going to get hurt.

As she stood there, staring out at the world that seemed so indifferent to her turmoil, one thought echoed in her mind

She couldn’t avoid them forever

For days, Y/N had done everything she could to avoid them both. Ignoring texts, dodging calls, and even changing her usual routes to class or around town. She thought that putting distance between them would make things clearer, give her the space to figure out what her heart truly wanted.

But all it had done was amplify the confusion.

The weight of it was unbearable—two people she cared about deeply, and no idea how to make a choice without breaking someone’s heart, maybe even her own.

It was late afternoon when she found herself walking aimlessly through the park near her house, the crisp air carrying the scent of autumn leaves. She hadn’t planned on being here, but her feet had brought her to the spot where she, Seungmin, and Lee Know had often hung out together.

Fate, it seemed, wasn’t done with her yet.

When she looked up, her breath hitched. Both of them were there. Seungmin stood by the swings, his hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable. Lee Know was leaning against a tree nearby, arms crossed, his jaw tight.

They hadn’t come together; that much was obvious from the tension crackling in the air between them. But somehow, they were both here now, and their eyes were fixed on her.

Y/N froze, her heart pounding as panic surged through her. She hadn’t prepared for this for seeing them both at the same time, let alone having to face the storm she had been avoiding.

“Y/N,” Seungmin was the first to speak, his voice steady but edged with frustration. “We need to talk.”

Lee Know pushed off the tree, his dark eyes never leaving hers. “Yeah, I think it’s about time.”

She swallowed hard, looking between them. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you can start by explaining why you’ve been avoiding us,” Seungmin said, his tone sharper now. “You’ve been acting like we don’t exist, and I think we both deserve better than that.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” Y/N said quickly, her voice wavering. “I just needed time to think.”

“Think about what?” Lee Know pressed, stepping closer. “You’ve had days, Y/N. Days to figure out how you feel. And yet, here we are. Still waiting.”

Her stomach twisted as she looked at them two faces she cared about, both looking at her with such intensity that it was hard to breathe. “It’s not that simple,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“It is simple,” Seungmin said, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “You can’t keep us both in limbo like this. It’s not fair.”

Lee Know nodded, his gaze unwavering. “He’s right. You have to decide, Y/N. Do you want him or me?”

The question hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. She took a shaky step back, feeling like the ground beneath her was crumbling.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “I care about both of you. I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

“That’s not good enough,” Lee Know said, his voice low but firm. “We’ve both been patient, but we can’t keep doing this. You have to choose.”

Seungmin’s eyes softened for a moment, but his tone remained steady. “We’re not asking you to make a decision lightly. But you need to be honestwith us and with yourself.”

Y/N felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she looked between them. Her heart was a whirlwind of emotions guilt, fear, longing, and love. But as much as she wanted to keep them both close, she knew they were right. She couldn’t keep running from this.

Her voice trembled as she finally said, “I just need more time.”

Lee Know’s jaw tightened, and he glanced at Seungmin before looking back at her. “You’ve had time, Y/N. How much more do you need?”

Seungmin exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “If you need more time, fine. But you can’t avoid us anymore. Figure it out, Y/N. And soon.”

With that, he turned and walked away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Lee Know stayed for a moment longer, his gaze piercing. “I hope you make the right choice,” he said softly before following Seungmin, leaving her standing there alone.

Y/N sank onto the nearest bench, her head in her hands. The clock was ticking, and no matter how much she wished for clarity, she knew that the answer wouldn’t come easily.

It had been days since the confrontation at the park, and neither Seungmin nor Lee Know had spoken to Y/N. She had sent a few hesitant texts to each of them, but their responses were short and distant, leaving her even more unsure of where she stood with them.

Unbeknownst to her, Lee Know and Seungmin were dealing with the situation in their own way. The tension between them had been simmering for weeks, and it was finally about to boil over.

They met at a quiet café near the edge of town, a place they knew would be empty enough for them to talk without interruptions. Lee Know was already seated at a corner table when Seungmin walked in, his usual calm demeanor replaced with something colder, more guarded.

Seungmin sat down across from him, folding his arms. “So, what’s this about?”

Lee Know leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. “We need to talk about Y/N.”

Seungmin’s jaw tightened. “I think we’ve talked enough, don’t you?”

“Not like this,” Lee Know replied, his voice steady but firm. “Look, we’ve both made it pretty clear how we feel about her. And we both know she’s struggling to choose between us.”

Seungmin’s lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t respond.

Lee Know leaned forward, his gaze unwavering. “I don’t want to keep fighting with you, Seungmin. And I don’t want to hurt Y/N by forcing her to make a decision she’s not ready for.”

“So, what’s your solution?” Seungmin asked, his tone skeptical.

Lee Know hesitated for a moment before saying, “We share her.”

Seungmin blinked, caught off guard by the suggestion. “What?”

“You heard me,” Lee Know said, his voice calm but determined. “We stop making this a competition. We let her decide how she wants to split her time between us. No more fighting, no more pressuring her.”

“That’s insane,” Seungmin said, shaking his head. “How is that supposed to work?”

“I don’t know,” Lee Know admitted. “But it’s better than what we’re doing now. And it’s better than making her choose and risking losing her altogether.”

Seungmin leaned back in his chair, his arms still crossed as he considered the idea. It went against everything he had been feeling the jealousy, the possessiveness but a part of him couldn’t deny that Lee Know had a point.

“She might not even agree to it,” Seungmin said after a long pause.

“That’s up to her,” Lee Know replied. “But if we’re both serious about wanting her in our lives, then we need to at least try.”

Seungmin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I still think this is crazy. But… I’ll agree, for her sake. If she’s okay with it.”

Lee Know nodded, a small sense of relief washing over him. “Good. Then we’ll talk to her together.”

Seungmin gave him a wary look. “Just so we’re clear, this doesn’t mean I’m okay with you being with her. I’m only doing this because I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Same here,” Lee Know said. “This isn’t about us. It’s about her.”

With that, an uneasy truce was formed. But as they left the café, both of them knew that the path ahead wouldn’t be easy for any of them.

It was late afternoon when Y/N received the text message that left her staring at her phone, her pulse racing.

Seungmin: Meet us at the park near the swings. We need to talk.

The “us” caught her off guard. She didn’t need to ask who he meant she knew both Seungmin and Lee Know would be there.

Her stomach churned as she walked to the park, a thousand questions and scenarios racing through her mind. What could they possibly want to say together? The tension between the three of them had reached a breaking point, and she had no idea how this would go.

When she arrived, they were already there. Seungmin was sitting on one of the swings, his expression neutral but his shoulders tense. Lee Know stood a few feet away, leaning against the frame of the swing set with his arms crossed.

“Y/N,” Seungmin said as she approached. His voice was calm, but there was a seriousness to it that made her chest tighten.

“Hey,” she said softly, looking between them. “What’s going on?”

Lee Know straightened, stepping closer. “We’ve been talking, and we think it’s time we figure out where we all stand.”

Her heart sank. “I… I’m still not ready to choose,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“We know,” Seungmin said, his tone gentle. “That’s why we’ve come up with a different idea.”

Y/N frowned, her gaze darting between them. “What do you mean?”

Lee Know glanced at Seungmin before speaking. “We’ve decided to stop pressuring you to choose between us. Instead… we’re willing to share.”

She blinked, sure she had misheard. “What?”

“We’re giving you the choice to spend time with both of us,” Seungmin explained. “No more arguments, no more fighting. You don’t have to feel like you’re stuck in the middle.”

Y/N stared at them, her mind reeling. “You’re serious?”

Lee Know nodded. “We talked about it. And while it’s not ideal for either of us, it’s better than making you feel like you’re being torn apart.”

Her breath caught as she processed their words. She couldn’t deny that part of her felt relieved they were giving her space to figure things out without the added pressure of making an immediate decision. But another part of her felt uneasy.

“What if this doesn’t work?” she asked hesitantly.

Seungmin’s expression softened. “Then we deal with it when the time comes. But we think it’s worth trying, for your sake.”

Y/N looked down at the ground, her emotions swirling. She had never imagined this kind of arrangement, but knowing they were willing to put aside their rivalry for her made her chest ache with a strange mix of gratitude and guilt.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” Lee Know said, his voice gentler than she had ever heard it. “Just think about it. We’ll give you the time and space you need.”

She nodded, still unsure how to feel. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

Seungmin gave her a small smile. “That’s all we’re asking.”

Lee Know stepped closer, his gaze locking with hers. “Just know that we both care about you, Y/N. And we’re willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.”

Her heart clenched at the sincerity in his voice, and for a moment, she felt the weight of their emotions pressing down on her.

As they walked her home that evening, the uneasy truce between them held. But Y/N couldn’t help wondering how long it would last and what it would mean for all of them moving forward.

The next morning, Y/N woke up with a headache. Sleep had been elusive, her mind consumed by the conversation with Seungmin and Lee Know. Their proposal played over and over in her head like a looping film.

Share them?

The idea felt surreal, almost absurd. But the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She cared deeply for both of them—she couldn’t deny that. Seungmin had been her rock for years, a constant in her life who knew her inside and out. And then there was Lee Know, who had quietly slipped into her heart with his relentless devotion and tender moments.

She groaned, rolling over in bed and staring at the ceiling. This wasn’t how love was supposed to work. Love was supposed to be simple—two people, one connection. But somehow, her heart had made room for both of them, and now she was faced with a choice she wasn’t ready to make.

By noon, she was pacing her room, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts. The idea of seeing them both, of not having to make an immediate decision, felt like a lifeline. But it also felt like walking a tightrope, one wrong step away from disaster.

Her phone buzzed on the desk, breaking her thoughts. She hesitated before picking it up, her breath catching when she saw the message.

Seungmin: No pressure, but have you thought about what we talked about?

Almost immediately, another message popped up.

Lee Know: Hey, just checking in. Hope you’re doing okay.

Y/N stared at the messages, her chest tightening. They were giving her space, just as they had promised, but she could feel their emotions lingering between the lines.

Taking a deep breath, she typed out a reply.

Y/N: Can we meet at the park? I’ve made my decision.

Her heart pounded as she hit send, the weight of her choice sinking in.

An hour later, she stood by the swings, waiting for them. The crisp autumn air nipped at her cheeks, but she barely felt it, her nerves keeping her warm.

Seungmin arrived first, his expression calm but his eyes searching hers. Lee Know appeared moments later, his usual confidence softened by what looked like worry.

“So?” Seungmin asked gently, breaking the silence. “What’s your decision?”

Y/N took a deep breath, her hands gripping the hem of her sweater. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you both said. And… I want to try this. Sharing time with both of you.”

Lee Know blinked, his lips parting slightly in surprise. Seungmin raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable.

“I know it’s not conventional,” Y/N continued quickly, her words tumbling out. “But I care about both of you, and I don’t want to hurt either of you. This… this feels like the only way to figure things out without losing someone I love.”

There was a beat of silence before Lee Know’s lips curved into a small smile. “So, you’re saying you want both of us?”

“Don’t make it weird,” Y/N said, her cheeks flushing.

Seungmin chuckled softly, shaking his head. “It’s definitely weird, but… if this is what you want, I’ll try.”

Lee Know nodded, his gaze softening. “Same. For you, I’ll try.”

Relief washed over her, and for the first time in days, she felt like she could breathe again.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, looking between them. “Both of you.”

As the three of them walked away from the swings together, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of hope. It wasn’t the perfect solution, but it was theirs.

And for now, that was enough.

She kisses them both on the cheek and they both smile and blush.

Weeks passed, and to Y/N’s surprise, the unconventional arrangement began to work. She had worried endlessly about how Seungmin and Lee Know would manage to coexist, let alone get along, but the two of them had exceeded her expectations.

At first, there were small gestures of compromise. Seungmin stopped throwing passive aggressive remarks Lee Know’s way, and Lee Know refrained from his usual smug grins whenever Y/N chose to spend time with him. They had even started talking short conversations at first, usually about her, but over time, their interactions grew less tense and more natural.

The three of them developed an great relationship . Y/N divided her time evenly, and both boys respected the boundaries they’d set. What surprised her most was how much Seungmin and Lee Know seemed to enjoy each other’s company when they weren’t focused on her.

One sunny afternoon, the three of them were at the park, sprawled out on a large picnic blanket under the shade of a tree. Y/N had brought sandwiches and snacks, and the boys had brought their usual banter.

“Okay, but you have to admit, my dog is better trained than your cat.” Seungmin said, smirking at Lee Know as he reached for a bag of chips.

“Better trained?” Lee Know scoffed. “Your dog couldn’t even sit still when we went to the café last week. Dori would never embarrass me like that.”

Y/N laughed, watching them bicker. It was strange how normal this had become sitting between them, watching their playful arguments, feeling the peace that had settled over their dynamic.

“She’s probably sick of us talking about pets,” Seungmin said, turning to Y/N with a teasing smile. “Right?”

“Not at all,” she said, grinning. “I’m just waiting to see who wins.”

“It’s obviously me,” Lee Know said confidently, leaning back on his hands. “Dori is a model citizen.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Seungmin replied with a chuckle.

As the afternoon went on, Y/N found herself marveling at how far they had come. A month ago, the idea of Seungmin and Lee Know sharing anything, let alone a girlfriend, would have been laughable. But now, they were sitting side by side, teasing each other like old friends.

Later, as they walked back to her house, Seungmin and Lee Know fell into a discussion about soccer, their voices animated as they debated the skills of different players. Y/N trailed behind them, her heart swelling at the sight.

For the first time in weeks, she felt like everything was exactly as it should be.

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narcjsistx · 1 day ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 | OS

karasu tabito x fem reader ; words: 1.9k (1939)

coming from this event, fifth day, 22/12

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

plot: the pact had been clear from the beginning: only needy kisses when the situation called for it, but no relationships. everything had been going smoothly up until that point, but the main problem was that now you were falling for your enemy's best friend. does tabito not want relationships because he doesn't want to set up seriously or just because he's afraid of ruining everything by being mediocre?

Even though you are literally in each other's arms, you feel Karasu light years away from you. The grip he had on your hips a few seconds ago has suddenly diminished, remaining sloppily leaning but not holding them. It took just a few words to destroy the perfect harmony that has existed between you since this strange situation began, and you don't know whether to regret having said them or to still be as convinced as you were until recently. You just know that, now, Karasu is not the same one who was kissing you until a moment ago, with the same usual sweetness

"We should stop. I'm starting to develop feelings for you and I don't want to suffer through something like this"

Words spoken in one breath, but which contained everything, or more, that you felt for the boy who until today has always been your kisser. You said that you started, and not that for months now you have thought only and exclusively of him, that you dream of being able to have a relationship with him, that you would simply like to stop being an ordinary girl and become his girlfriend. But what you dreamed of didn't fit your plan, the one that until now had given you the chance to be so close to him. The plan was simple: just kisses, maybe sooner or later a sexual relationship if you both agreed, but never and ever a relationship

Yet, it seemed so easy to fall in love with him. Karasu is polite, he knows how to joke without being offensive, he has a hobby that he is committed to and has many friends who love him, and he also knows how to treat women. It was impossible for you to understand how a boy like that is best friends with Otoya Eita, the same boy who broke your heart after a relationship that lasted no more than two weeks. You could easily say that the hatred you felt for the ninja turned into love when it came to Tabito.

It all started with this pretext: help me make Otoya regret leaving me, make him understand that I am the best girl he could spend his life with. Betting on his best friend had been a risky choice, but Karasu had accepted. And so, in front of the white and green haired boy, the kisses between you and Karasu had begun their battle against him, who frankly had never paid much attention to you two, only surprised to see Karasu with someone after long time since last time

Almost everyone, even his friends, thought you were a couple. But you both said no, you were just young and a relationship would only hinder the beautiful bond you had. Yet, your goal of making Otoya jealous had turned into nothing in less than a few weeks, while you began to reflect that Karasu was actually a good guy. That, besides the kisses, he also treated you well, and he didn't have the same behavior with girls as he had with you

And so, for a year now, you had begun to think that you loved him seriously, that kisses were not enough for you. It had taken you a year to say the words you had just said to him, and yet you had already regretted it. His face conveyed an all too obvious surprise, untypical for someone like him

"I know you don't want a relationship, so let's end this. It was fun"

You knew he didn't want a relationship, he had made it clear from the start. You had talked about it other times, and his words were always the same. They hurt you, but they were reality

"I don't want a relationship, it would hinder me and my future career as a striker. Professional players never have a steady relationship until they reach an important goal, and I will do the same. After I win, I will look for someone to spend the rest of my life with. But it's not that time yet"

Your heart hurt, your body, everything. It hurt to think that from now on, you would do without him, without his lips on yours and without the good feeling that always existed in your stomach when you knew he was looking at you. You were letting go of something you loved so much, but you knew that by doing so, maybe you would save yourself more future pain

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. It's all over, I don't want anymore"

You didn't know why he didn't want a relationship, or rather, the explanation he had given you so long ago didn't seem entirely right. Karasu, in your eyes, seemed like someone who needed love so much, who even sought it, but why did he reject it if he had plenty of it, of yours, under his hands?

There was something that told you that he was rejecting love because of a more personal fear, because of something that you had always had before your eyes but had never understood. Something that, you thought, made him very insecure. But what was this insecurity of his if he was so perfect? What he was hiding from you?

Slowly, you pulled away from his grip, which no longer held you to him. Your lowered gaze helped you not to look him in the eyes, because seeing even a shred of sadness would have destroyed you. It was the best choice, but why did it hurt?

"You can't be serious, everything is going great"

"It's precisely because everything is going well that I want to stop. Karasu, I think I seriously love you, kisses are no longer enough for me. But at the same time, I know you don't want a relationship, and I don't want to force you to have one with me. If everything continues to go so well in my mind we will be like boyfriend and girlfriend, while you will continue to think of us as just two friends. And I will suffer from this, because I know myself"

You had to be harsh with your words, even if you didn't really want to be, and especially not with him, who hadn't actually done anything to you. But if you weren't, it would have been even worse

He didn't want a relationship. He didn't want a relationship. He didn't want a relationship

But really, why?

"You can't just go away and break everything. Don't you think about me?"

Karasu has never been someone who blames things, he has always admitted that he hates those who do it, because he thinks they are mediocre, and he hates mediocre people

"Yes, and it's better for both"

"You don't know what's fucking best for me..."

"Instead, yes. Think of it as if our relationship was a test for what you will have with your future girlfriend"

"I don't even want to think about anyone else other than you"

Karasu wasn't the type to say things like that, especially things that sounded like a declaration of love, and hell, it seemed like one to you. Why did he just say those words if he always reminded you that he doesn't want to think about anything but his career? Is there seriously something he's hiding from you that goes beyond the simple justification he's always given you?

"If you don't think I know what's best for you, tell me. What's best for you, Tabito?"

Maybe you had crossed the line, just maybe

"The best thing for me is to believe that I am enough for you, but I can't be if I am so disgustingly mediocre. Giving you something mediocre, being yours, is something that bothers me, because I never want to see you with something or someone who is not on your level. The thought of you walking away suffocates me, but I know that sooner or later you would realize how much I am not enough. I don't want you Y/n, even if I really do, because you don't deserve shit. Why did you fall in love with someone like me instead, so mediocre?"

So there was actually something in Karasu's thoughts, something that you actually didn't even remotely expect: how could he, so perfect in your eyes, consider himself mediocre?. The excuse of his career was therefore evidently just a bullshit to hide this more intimate side of his, who had fought so hard to hide it from your eyes, who instead saw it with an inhuman perfection

"Mediocre things don't work, they don't make things enjoyable. Settling is not love, and putting yourself in a situation like that would destroy me. I would ruin everything sooner or later, trust me"

You wanted to shut him up, you seriously wanted to. Hearing him talk so badly about himself hurt your heart, since you didn't even remotely have these thoughts about him. Never ever, in your thoughts, had you imagined him ruining everything, he who in situations always tried to resolve in the best possible way. Maybe he wasn't aware of how great it was, how 'mediocre' was the last word in the world to describe it. Maybe he was genuinely insecure about something that didn't actually exist, but was just in his head for some unknown reason

"If you consider me enough for everything, how do you explain the thing that I fell in love with you, that instead you consider yourself mediocre? Don't you think that I fell in love because you are so perfect in my eyes that I don't understand your doubts? Karasu, you have no idea how much you are not even remotely wrong, you are anything but wrong. Falling in love with someone so perfect, who knows how to love but is afraid, is I think one of the most intelligent things I have ever done, and you know that I have done a lot of stupid things in life. But I want to make you aware of how much you are enough, much more than enough. For me you know how to love, you want someone who loves you, but you are afraid. I want to take away this fear from you"

Silently, you had unmasked the mask that Karasu Tabito had so glued to his face: under that self-confident, sometimes even selfish face, there was a boy who was extremely insecure about himself, who was just waiting for someone who could love him without fear of his insecurities. You had destabilized him with your words, you could see it from the way he was slowly destroying himself. Your words were true, and you hoped that by destroying himself he would understand that you meant them

"Suppose I accept your love. Suddenly I do something, I ruin everything"

"I'll try to love you again until everything works perfectly. And in the meantime you learn where you went wrong and you don't do it again, because I know you can do it. To err is human"

You wanted to love him, you wanted him to love himself. And if trying again with him every time meant making him realize that he wasn't as shit as he said he was, you would try again and again

Mediocre was his fear, not he. A human mediocrity, because in reality everyone has fears of this kind; you had some too

"Let yourself be loved, Karasu. Let your dream come true, because I never want to see you sad about something like that"

"If I make a mistake, will you try again? Shall we try again?"

"Until my last breath"

TAG: @natmagaesp ; @kittenish0 ; @x3nafix

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kkuzushi · 2 days ago

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જ Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby. . .ᐟ

˚𖦹 ‘ Chapter 10 : I’ll wipe that smirk off your face; or better yet, I’ll wipe your entire face off. ࣪𖤐

— PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

After going through a(n un)productive group studies with your friends, finals went by in a flash, or that’s what you’d like to tell yourself. In actuality, it’s one of the hellish weeks you had to go through; barely sleeping a wink that you almost resorted to just praying to the gods that you pass this semester. Just almost though.

Luckily enough, you passed with a 93% average. Give yourself a pat in the shoulder because you deserve it! As you pat yourself, you notice a crowd forming on the other side of the room. Specifically where Scaramouche is at.

You didn’t bother joining them but curiosity got the best of you. “Hey, what’s going on over there?” You asked the student next to you. They look at where you’re gesturing before returning to you, “Oh it’s Scaramouche, apparently he’s got the highest in the class—98% average.”

You almost visibly cringed at that information. You won’t overlook the fact he’s just naturally smart, but maybe it’s the knowledge that he’s smarter than you that irks you. He’s probably smirking and boasting in his seat right now like the egotistical bastard he is. The thought was enough to make you roll your eyes and scoff.

The crowd dies down as the professor in front calls out for everyone’s attention. “Just informing everyone that this is the last school day. If you’re planning on hosting a christmas party, you are free to do so for only this week.”

Well great, there goes your holiday break.

“But it’s not mandatory to host nor attend,” the professor adds.

Nevermind, maybe you still get to enjoy this month’s break after all. After all, who wouldn’t love not seeing a certain classmate for a few weeks>

A few more clarifications were made and the class was dismissed for the day. As you made your way outside of the room, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Speaking of the devil, it’s exactly who you’re thinking of—Scaramouche.

“Hey.” An awkward greeting, he knows that. He’s well aware that you haven’t responded to the message he sent you a few days ago, and he knows it won’t be replied to anytime soon as he sees that scowl on your face.

“What?” You asked, making it clear you weren’t interested in idle chatter right now.

“What’d you get for the semester?” He asks, deliberately ignoring the tone of your voice.

You didn’t answer, just stared at him, hoping the awkwardness will just make him go away. It didn’t though, he just smirked at you. Though from his perspective, that was his ‘normal smile’.

“I got a 98%”

“Who?”

“I did–”

“Asked?”

Scaramouche paused at your joke, contemplating whether to laugh or be annoyed, until he realized you were annoyed from the start. He grinned, “Congrats on whatever you got, yn.” He walked away, giving you a short wave.

— ꒰꒰﹒TAGLIST : @raineyun @hayamie @sketcheeee @wraithisd3adinside @heusalettle @liuaneee @yevurin @mywillt0live @kaikaidenkai @alatusorrow @shrimplyasleep

— ꒰꒰﹒OPEN. [ 11/50 ]

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pwblant · 2 days ago

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SUNDAE STOP — l.ant

┊a/n : hey riizeblr, here’s an approx. 670 word fic that i wrote at 2am because i couldn’t stop thinking about the anton sundae photo up there 👆 he looks so bf 😕 (p.s., anton and yn keep slipping, REALLY REALLY bad actors 🫡) reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated <3 enjoy!!!

┊warnings : maybee just the couple moments but other than that there’s nothing that you should be afraid of pookie 🫰🫰

it’s a quiet saturday afternoon just a few days ‘till Christmas, you and anton are strolling leisurely through the mall with some of your old friends from your hometown. you’ve all known each other for years, but since you and anton both moved away to study at a different school, it’s been a while since you all last got together. as expected, the catch-up session was in full swing. everyone was sharing updates on their lives—what they’ve been up to, who’s in a relationship, and what new hobbies they’ve picked up—and you and anton were no exception. it was fun being with your closest friends after the longest time; there’s laughter, nostalgia, and pure happiness.

but amidst all the fun, there is one thing that neither you nor anton have mentioned yet: that the two of you have been dating for the past 6 months. the idea of being teased by your friends was too much to handle, so you both decided to keep it a secret for now and instead tell them when the time is right.

“guys, let’s go to that sundae shop over there!” you beamed excitedly.

“hey now, aren’t you full? we just ate, bab—” anton began, but you cut him off as he unconsciously slipped his arm around your shoulders, earning collective side-eyes from your friends.

“i—um.. guys, do you wanna go there?” you stammered, letting out an awkward laugh, anton’s arm instinctively finding its way to the back of his neck as he realized how suspicious you both looked.

“sure! ice cream sounds so good right now.” your friend replied.

you thank the heavens above because it seemed your friends brushed off what had just happened. with an exaggerated sigh of relief, you all entered the sundae shop.

the others ordered quickly, and it was just the two of you left who haven’t chosen what to order. standing in front of the counter, you scanned the menu, eyes lighting up at the words “sundae skyscraper.” you quickly glanced up at anton, who was standing next to you, and reported what you’d just found.

“can we share this? pleaaasee i really want it.” you happily ask, batting your eyelashes at him in a playful manner. “it’ll make me the happiest girl in the world.”

a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, despite his best effort to suppress it. “i’m not falling for your persuading techniques,” he says, though he was already reaching into his wallet to pay.

“you’re the best!” you exclaimed, letting out a soft, triumphant squeal as you moved to hug him. you almost leaned in for a kiss right then and there but quickly remembered that you were trying to keep your relationship a secret. you awkwardly pulled back and glanced at the group, only to find them already staring at you both, smirking knowingly.

“hey anton lee, you’re on a roll! buy a sundae for me next?”one of your friends shouted from the table, and the others laughed, chiming in.

anton’s smile falters, “hell no, i'm not thaat generous, man! we’re sharing this!” playfully rolling his eyes at them.

after paying, you tried to walk back to the group’s table as casually as possible, but their knowing grins made it clear to you that there was no point in trying anymore.

“fine, we’re dating” you sighed as you plopped down next to anton, announcing it like the world’s greatest myster had just been solved.

“yea…. we figured so.” the friend sat next to you said as she let out a little chuckle.

you talk about your relationship—all about how you met, how he confessed, and how long you’ve been together, expecting at least some teasing or dramatic reactions from your friends. instead, they just nodded, as if it was no big deal—like they'd known all along. there wasn’t a single eyebrow raised, no teasing remarks, just a quiet acceptance. if you’d known it would be this easy and stress-free, you would’ve outed your relationship the first chance you got.

you let out a big sigh, “alright, now that that’s out of the way, i'm going to devour this sundae.”

#riize #riize anton #riize fluff #riize imagines #riize scenarios #riize x reader #riize hard thoughts #riize is 7 #kpop oneshots #kpop bg #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #rii7e #anton lee x reader #anton x reader #anton lee #anton x y/n #pwblant

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hxlxnaaa · 2 days ago

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𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞

★ synopsis: haunted by your own loneliness, it seems the only cure is to create an imaginary friend

★ character: xavier

★ cw: first-person POV, angst if you squint, real world au, maybe ooc xavier? not really

★ word count: 1.6k

★ a/n: inspired by maladaptive daydreaming! strays so far from canon storyline obviously so this is hella HELLA au, but MC still has her heart problems lmao

When it comes to children, it isn’t surprising when you find out they have an imaginary friend. They’ll giggle, and their eyes will light up as they tell you about their talking dog, who has tea parties with them and rides on the back of their bike. Or the teddy bear that comes to life at night to tell them bedtime stories and help them count sheep.

Yet, eventually, the time comes where they grow up. No longer do talking dogs and dancing dolls follow them around, and the child won’t talk about their little friend anymore, leaving them behind. They fade from one’s memory, a ghost long forgotten…

But what if they don't?

What if they never grow out of their ‘imaginary friend’? What if it follows them all throughout their life? A schizo diagnosis would be in order, and years of therapy.

Sadly, that’s how it is for me; well, not the “seeing things and copious amounts of therapy” part.

He’s just… a coping mechanism.

A world to go to in my head when everything feels as if it’s crashing down. I don’t know where I’d be without him.

When I was small, no one seemed to enjoy my presence. I was always considered a nuisance with all of my heart problems. Making real friends was hard; people would up and leave after a few months, and I’d be alone again. I was a bother, in and out of doctors offices and never able to hang out. Texts would go ignored because I was too busy having tests run in cold hospital beds, hooked up to machines.

The nurses would joke with me, braid my hair and tell me gossip since I was in there so much – but it wasn’t the same as having friends my age that I can go to the movies with. So, when I finally came to the conclusion I’d be alone forever, I made a friend.

Yes, I made a friend.

I put all the qualities of my ideal friend in him; He was straight out of a cool, teen indie movie — the perfect boy next door. He would be the best friend you could go on long road trips with, get donuts with at ungodly hours in the morning. Quiet enough that I could talk for hours and he would just listen, but could still make me laugh with little remarks.

Since nobody else would talk to me, and I had far too much time on my hands, I would travel into my own little world in my head where he existed. I’d talk to him everyday, hang out with him for hours. Whether I was in class, the car, or laying in my bed staring at my ceiling, I’d dissociate into a world where someone truly, really cared about me.

This went on for years. No matter my problem, he’d always have a solution, no matter my opinion, he’d always listen. He was my knight in shining armor from bad dreams and boring moments.

Eventually, I put so much detail into him, it felt as if he was real.

I could practically reach out and touch his hair, know what it would feel like to run my fingers through his messy platinum hair. Pointing out every emotion in his blue eyes, from the joy that sparkled in them when I would tell him jokes that only he would understand, or when they clouded over with worry when I would come to him crying after a stressful day. The moments his angelic smile would let out his signature laugh that would ring in my ears for hours, and I could practically hear it in reality. Or the way I could cringe at him when he would act like an awkward dork, but his giggles made me grin, and I always put up with him. It’s almost as if I could smell the soft fresh laundry scent of him, feel his warm skin from sleep.

Sometimes, I could go months without thinking about the truth;

but sometimes, there were days it would hit me like a truck.

“You’re not real!” I’d cry. He’d be sitting on my bed with me. Reaching out his hand, I’d flinch away. “None of this is real Xavier! You’re not real, this world isn’t real. I’m stuck in this reality where everything is hell, and I have nothing.”

“Hey, I need you to breathe-” This would be one of those moments where I could read his eyes. They’re always so alive, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was all a dream I created in my mind. His electric eyes that would go dark with a whirl-wind of emotions. Sadness, worry, disappointment. It would always be like I could actually see him in front of me, and not like I would be staring at my ceiling sobbing in my bed;

Alone.

No matter what, I’d always forget reality again, and he always came crawling back. We’d pretend like none of it ever happened. Of course it worked, why wouldn’t it? I controlled everything. All of his moves, all of his words, every laugh that came out of his beautiful mouth. He was my puppet and this was my play, just an actor in this devastating work of theatre.

I’d find myself mentioning him without realizing.

“My brother nearly burned down the kitchen yesterday!” One of the girls in my classes had said, groaning and throwing her face in her hands.

I smiled, “I have a friend like that. His cooking skills are… well let's just say calling it ‘cooking’ might be a bit generous.”

They all wiggled their eyebrows, ‘Ooo,’ they’d say, ‘he? Come on, are you holding out on us!’ Laughter erupted around the table, and my cheeks flushed. My whole body lit up with embarrassment, turning red from head to toe.

That night I went home and threw myself into my room, locking my door and screaming at the top of my lungs. Choking out sobs, throwing whatever my frail, shaking hands could grab.

“He’s not real! He’s! Not! Real!” I chanted like a prayer, a prayer that he would just disappear from my mind and I could just be normal. I felt defeated; while my heart struggled, my mind was strained too. My whole world, my entire life revolved around a boy that didn’t exist.

After my breakdown and a shattering ego death, I came to the heart wrenching conclusion that it was time I got over all of this. I needed to grow up, focus on the life ahead of me. I was going to graduate highschool, I was going to go to school to achieve my dreams, I was chasing the life I always wanted.

All by myself.

I couldn’t live the rest of my life tucking myself away everytime life got hard, talking to someone that I made in my head.

I grieved him, mourning as if I had suffered the death of someone so close to me I couldn't bear to go on without him. Yet, with time, the wounds began to heal and the chronic, plaguing thoughts of him fleeted my head. I tucked him deep into a pocket of my mind I couldn’t access if I tried, just to keep myself safe from my own thoughts.

Thanks to all the attention I poured into my studies to distract myself from the emptiness of him being gone, I graduated with excellent grades and got into my first choice, the university of my dreams.

Walking down the campus sidewalk, I took a deep breath of the brand newness of everything. The cold fall air was putting hustle in everyone's strides on the first day of classes, and I mumbled a prayer that things would be different. Life would be different. Things wouldn’t be so lonely or empty anymore.

Trying to navigate my way around, someone bumped into me, almost knocking the both of us down.

They stumbled back, revealing a boy's shy smile, and a quiet chuckle that sounded like an angel's song you’d want to replay on repeat for the rest of your life; one I was all too familiar with.

“Oh, I should have looked where I was going, sorry-”

The boy trailed off and I couldn’t help but stare at him in awe.

The sparkling blue eyes, and his fluffy hair tousled around from the fall wind. The smile that could light a room, and a face that could melt thousands of hearts. He shone bright like a star. I thought if I breathed, or even blinked, he would disappear.

“Anyways, It’s my first day. Well, it’s everyone's first day, but it’s my first…first day. Does that make sense?” He frowned and his ears turned red, as met my eyes for the first time during the whole interaction.

I blinked, and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, as he didn’t disappear, “Uh, yeah. It’s my first-first day too.”

The boy laughed, his shyness fading. He could laugh a million times, and I’d keep saying things to keep it going. I never wanted it to stop, I wanted to hear it until the moment I took my last breath.

“Well since it’s both of our first-first day, I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus a lot…” he paused, waiting for my name.

I whispered it so quietly, like it was a curse to speak it out loud. I wasn’t even sure he’d heard me, yet he nodded and softly smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you then. I’m Xavier.”

(divider by cafekitsune)

#xavier x reader #xavier x you #xavier x y/n #love and deepspace xavier #xavier #l&ds xavier #lnds xavier #lads xavier #lads #lnds #lnds smut #lnds fluff #lnds angst #xavier love and deepspace #xavier smut #xavier fluff #xavier x mc #love and deepspace

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fruvittea · 2 days ago

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whispers in the rain ✧˚ · . part seven

— ✺ pairing: jay x reader x jake

— ✺ genre: slice of life, angst, suggestive, fluff, childhood best friend, love triangle, college au, slow burn

— ✺ synopsis: jay is your childhood best friend. that’s all he will ever be. a summer with jay and his friends changes how you feel for him when jake comes into your life. and jay begins to think that was a mistake. — ✺ chapter summary: things have been on your mind lately and jungwon and sunoo take things into their own hands taking you out for a good time. the day ends with deep conversations and rekindling.

— ✺ warnings: some of the members are aged up since there is mention of consuming alcohol in this fic!!

— ✺ word count: 3.1k

— ✺ authors note! thank you for your patience, this is the first fic I am writing and it has been so fun, I decided to change things up and include a cute little day where reader spends time with two different people for a change! thank you again for reading!!

Being in the presence of both Jay and Jake was tiring. So you went inside to take some time to yourself. You’re curled up on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when Sunoo plops down next to you.

“You, me, Jungwon. Ice cream and a thrift shop run and perhaps watching the sunset with your new besties,” he announces, already tugging at your arm.

Jungwon appears in the doorway, arms crossed but smiling softly. “You could use a break. We’ll be your emotional support for the day.”

Break? Have they really noticed that things have been on your mind?

You laugh and agree, the promise of a low-pressure outing too tempting to pass up.

You laugh and nod. “Okay, okay, I’m in.”

You have yet to hang out with some of the group separately that wasn’t Jay or Jake so this was quite exciting. You always enjoyed Jungwon and Sunoo’s company. As you get up to grab your jacket, Sunoo suddenly turns to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’ll go tell Jay that you’re going out with us. He’s been hovering, right?” he adds, almost to himself, though it’s more of a statement than a question.

You blink, a bit caught off guard. “Sunoo, don’t—”

But before you can protest, Sunoo’s already halfway down the hall, heading straight for Jay’s room. You sigh, hoping this won’t turn into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

A few moments later, Sunoo walks back into the room, Jay trailing behind him, a hesitant expression on his face. You could tell that he might’ve not wanting you to go, for whatever reason. He was being a real downer these days. (And it may or may not have been because of you and Jake hanging out).

“You’re coming with us, Y/n,” Sunoo announces, voice light as he steps to the side. “We’re heading out for ice cream and a thrift shop run, then maybe a sunset hangout.” He throws a quick look at Jay, who’s still standing in the doorway, his arms crossed.

Jay looks at you, his expression unreadable. “Are you sure you want to go now? You looked like you had a lot on your mind earlier.”

You smile, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m good. Just need a little time away. I think it will be nice with Jungwon and Sunoo, my new besties.”

Sunoo, coming to your rescue, steps forward quickly. “It’s fine, Dad. Let her go. It’s just us hanging out, no big deal.” His tone is light but firm, clearly trying to ease the situation before it escalates. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle.

“Did you just call me da-” But before the two of your could hear Jay’s response, Sunoo lightly grabs your wrist and begins to pull you towards the door, a knowing smile on his face. “Come on, Y/n. We’ve got a full day of ice cream ahead.”

As you step outside, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn to see Jungwon approaching Jay, who’s still standing in the doorway, his body tense. Jungwon stops beside him, his expression calm but attentive.

“You’re worried,” Jungwon observes softly, glancing back at you and Sunoo, who are now on the way down the stairs. “But you need to let her breathe, Jay.”

Jay runs a hand through his hair, frustration clouding his face. “Well what are you two up to—”

“We just want to spend the day with her.,” Jungwon cuts him off gently, his tone firm but not harsh. “We know you have feelings for her, honestly finally, it’s been years. But c'mon you need to let her breathe. If she likes Jake then she likes him. If she is figuring her feelings out, let her. You’re her best friend, act like it.”

Jay’s jaw tightens slightly, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he lowers his gaze, looking conflicted. Had he really been making you feel bad?

“Just… cool down, alright? Let her have some space,” Jungwon adds, his voice softening as he places a reassuring hand on Jay’s shoulder. “She’ll come to you when she’s ready. But for now, let her have this time to herself.”

Jay doesn’t respond immediately, but his posture shifts slightly, as if Jungwon’s words are beginning to sink in. He watches you for a moment before exhaling, his shoulders slumping a little.

“Yeah,” Jay mutters, almost to himself. “I’ll… I’ll cool down.”

Jungwon gives him a small nod, his smile encouraging, before turning to follow you and Sunoo.

—

“So I saw this cute ice cream place in downtown with really cool flavors. I think we should go there, it’s called Sundae’s.” Jungwon puts the location in his phone and follows the route. You in the passengers seat and Sunoo sitting in the back. To your surprise the car ride with the two was so pleasant, Sunoo just singing along to the music in the back and Jungwon sparking up a casual conversation with you.

“You know I don’t think we’ve hung out before.” Jungwon’s head turned to you briefly before going back to the road.

“I actually was thinking the same, it’s nice that I’m going out with the two of you.” You play with you fingers a little.

“Yah, it’ll be fun!” Sunoo chimes in making you smile.

At the ice cream shop Sunoo insists on ordering first, going for an extravagant and colorful flavor. Jungwon watches with an amused smile before opting for a simple green tea scoop. When it’s your turn, both boys playfully judge your choice—earl gray tea.

“What are you a grandma?” Sunoo judges before taking a spoonful of his ice cream.

“Hey! In fact I like earl gray, it tastes good.” You shrug him off, continuing to eat your scoop.

“It’s a solid pick in my opinion.” Jungwon adds in.

The three of you sat down on a bench around the corner of the ice cream shop. Jungwon invested in his ice cream and Sunoo trying to pry out facts about you.

“Well what do you want to know?” You turn to him curious about his response.

“Mmm how did you and Jay become friends, because in my opinion I don’t see how you enjoy him.” You let out a laugh using a napkin to wipe the melted ice cream from your fingers.

“We met in elementary school, he was always teasing me for not being able to color in the lines. I remember looking over at his paper and it was equally as bad. But anyways he would always tease me and I would do it back. We kind of just stuck together even after elementary and middle school. Now that I come to think of it I don’t know how we became friends because of how we started.” You continue to eat your ice creams reminiscing when it was just the two of you.

“That sounds like him…always teasing or nitpicking.” Jungwon lets out an airy laugh. “I mean rooming with him freshman year at the dorms, he would tell me to do my laundry a certain way, I guess he has always been like that huh?”

"Yeah he has, I think that’s one of the things I like about him though, it’s his odd way of caring I guess.” You don’t look at any of the two boys afraid they’ll see right through you and your feelings.

—

By the time you three finish ice cream, Jungwon is already inputting the thrift store into his maps. It was a short drive down the street but the three of you insisted on walking in order to walk off the ice cream.

Sunoo immediately dove into the racks, pulling out the most outrageous outfits he can find and making you and Jungwon model them. At one point, he holds up a neon jacket, declaring it your “new vibe.”

Jungwon shakes his head, picking out a simple but stylish sweater for you instead. “This is more your speed,” he says with a small smile.

“Actually yeah, this for once is something I would wear.” You take the sweater from Jungwon and go to try it on. It was the perfect size, not too baggy and it was a nice creme color.

Sunoo rolls his eyes but agrees, muttering about Jungwon’s “boring” taste.

Hours go by and you all go your separate ways in the store, actually taking the act of thrifting seriously You buy the sweater along with a thin green cardigan, Jungwon buys a leather jacket and Sunoo also finds a couple sweaters to purchase as well. The three of you proudly talk about the luck you had in the shop.

—

As the three of you walk back to the car you hear your stomach growl. Before you could even open your mouth to tell them you were hungry Jungwon put a place into his phone. “Don’t worry, I was also getting hungry in the store, tacos sound good?” You and Sunoo agree and Jungwon starts the car heading to the spot.

It was a nice little area, some chairs and tables set up with people eating in a parking lot with a taco truck up front. You all ordered takeout because Sunoo wanted to go to a nearby park that had a pretty view of the ocean. Sitting atop a picnic blanket you three eat your tacos raving about how good they were.

Sunoo marvels at the ocean while Jungwon uses the left over napkins to make paper cranes.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” you ask, watching him with fascination.

He shrugs. “My sister taught me. It’s calming.”

Sunoo leans in with a smirk. “It’s also his way of avoiding deep conversations.”

Jungwon glares at him, but there’s no malice in it. “Says the guy who changes the subject every time someone asks about his love life.”

Their playful banter makes you smile, and for the first time in days, you feel a genuine lightness in your chest.

The day winds down with the three of you still at the park watching as the sun begins to set. Sunoo talks about his dreams and aspirations, his usual humor tinged with rare sincerity. Jungwon listens intently, occasionally offering quiet words of encouragement.

At some point, Sunoo excuses himself to “explore the area,” leaving you and Jungwon alone.

The silence is comfortable, filled with the sound of rustling leaves and distant laughter.

“You seemed happier today,” Jungwon says after a while, glancing at you.

You nod. “Thanks to you and Sunoo. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

He smiles softly, his eyes warm. “You’ve grown to become important to us. Don’t forget that.”

The sun dips below the horizon, casting long shadows as you, Jungwon, and Sunoo sit on the grassy hill, watching the colors of the sky change. Sunoo has his legs stretched out, lazily reclining against a tree, while Jungwon is next to you, eyes focused on the distant view. There’s a comfortable silence between the three of you, but it feels like there’s something unspoken hovering in the air.

After a few minutes, Jungwon clears his throat, glancing at Sunoo before turning his attention to you.

“Hey, y/n,” he starts, his voice casual but there’s a hint of curiosity underneath. “Can we ask you something?”

You turn your head slightly, meeting his eyes. “Sure, what’s up?”

Sunoo, who's been unusually quiet, perks up, looking at you with a sly smile. “Have you noticed any… tension between Jay and Jake recently?”

You freeze for a moment, the question slightly catching you off guard. You had a feeling the two would ask, afterall they are Jay and Jake’s friends. Plus t he tension between the two had been palpable lately, and though you’ve tried to ignore it, it’s impossible not to feel the weight of it when you’re around them. You glance down at your hands, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your sweater.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you admit, sighing softly. “It’s a little hard to ignore.”

Jungwon watches you carefully. “Do you think it’s something serious? Or just a misunderstanding?”

You pause, trying to sort out your own feelings before speaking. “I’m not sure,” you murmur. “But I think it’s about more than just little things. I’ve never seen them like this before.”

There’s a heavy silence that falls over you, and you know both of them are watching you intently, waiting for you to continue. Sunoo leans forward, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a serious, almost concerned expression.

“Can we ask you something else?” Sunoo asks.

“Yeah go ahead.” You nod.

“Do you…have feelings for Jay? Or did you ever have feelings for him?” His tone was soft almost hesitant as if he was debating on asking you about Jay.

You feel your heart race, a flush creeping up your neck. Jungwon, who’s always been quiet and thoughtful, looks at you with gentle curiosity, giving you the space to respond. But you can tell they’re both waiting for an honest answer.

You swallow hard, feeling the weight of the question settle in your chest. “I… yeah, I guess I always did,” you admit, the words coming out in a whisper. “Jay’s been my best friend for so long. I think I had a crush on him pretty much my whole life.”

The confession hangs in the air, and Sunoo’s eyes widen for a moment, before he offers a knowing, if somewhat sympathetic, smile. “That makes sense. It’s obvious how close you two are. But…?”

You glance down, unable to meet their eyes. “But I think it’s fading,” you whisper. “The crush, I mean.” You pause, your fingers tugging at the edges of your sweater, unsure of how to continue. “It’s hard to admit, but… I feel like something’s different now. I don’t know if I’m holding on to something that’s not really there anymore.”

Jungwon shifts slightly, leaning forward to look at you with a softer gaze. “It’s okay to feel that way. You’re not wrong for letting go of something that doesn’t feel right anymore.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, but the guilt creeps in. You feel like you're betraying something, or someone. "But I also don’t want to let go,” you admit, the words tumbling out. “I feel guilty about it, but when I’m with Jake, I don’t feel that way. He makes me feel good. He makes me laugh, and he listens to me. He’s different, and... I enjoy spending time with him. And with Jay too."

You trail off, unsure of what else to say. The emotions feel tangled, and you’re still processing everything that’s happening between you, Jay, and Jake. But you could tell the two boys on either side of you were listening intently, figuring out what to sway next. Sure it admitting these thoughts and feelings you’ve been having was not what you were expecting to do today, it was still nice to be able to release the weight and let somebody in.

Sunoo’s voice breaks through the whirlwind of your thoughts. “It’s okay to like both of them. You’re not doing anything wrong by being honest with yourself,” he says, his tone calm but supportive. “Feelings don’t follow a strict path. It’s complicated, but that’s life.”

Jungwon, who’s been quietly listening, nods in agreement. “And whatever you decide to do, we’re here for you. It’s okay to take your time and figure out what you want. No one’s rushing you.”

Jake and Jay are, you want to say but refrain. Could the tension really be because of you? You finally look at them both, their expressions soft and understanding. For the first time today, you feel like you can breathe, knowing that someone—two people—are there to support you no matter what. You smile weakly, grateful for their patience.

“Thanks, guys,” you say, your voice full of sincerity. “It means a lot.”

The three of you sit in silence again, but this time, it’s comforting. There are no expectations, no pressure to figure things out immediately. Just the quiet support of friends who understand that life—and love—aren’t always as simple as they seem.

As the night continues the three of you decide to make your way back to the house.

Opening the door to your room you place your bag from the thrift store onto the ground. Laundry can wait. Tomorrow I’ll do laundry, maybe Jay will end up taking over. You lay down on your bed and scroll through your phone until you hear a faint knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

The door opens and Jay appears. He was in his pajamas, his hair messy. You look at him and you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat a little faster. He closes the door and sits at the edge of your bed. You were sitting against the headboard watching his every move.

“How was your day out with Jungwon and Sunoo?” He asked.

“I actually had a really good time, I haven’t hung out with the two of them before and I really enjoyed it. They are really good friends Jay, I’m glad you found them in college.” Jay can’t help but smile. You always had something nice to say and that was something he really appreciated about you, something he really liked about you.

“I’m sorry for seeming like a dad…Is it bad that I sometimes just want you to myself?” He paused, realizing what he said. “Li-like you know because we were friends first.” He let out a nervous laugh scratching the back of his neck. Shit.

You play with the sheets, unsure of what to say, but if you don’t say anything it’ll be even more awkward.

“I’ve felt that way too Jay, it’s okay, but hey I mean we’re getting older, things like this do happen.” You give him a smile. It is true you have definitely felt that way, especially when with his girl friends in high school. But of course you left that small detail out.

“Yeah…” Jay’s eyes focus on the sheets of the bed. He didn’t want to leave just yet. Neither did you want him to, but you both didn’t say anything. Instead you both kept the conversation going little by little. You showed him your thrift haul and he told you about the book that he was able to start that day. It was nice, like the two of you were back in routine again.

You and Jay both ended up falling asleep on your bed, him curled up by the foot of your bed, you under the sheets diagonally across.

✴︎🪷𓈒͏ུུ̑̑. ཉ — by @fruvittea

🏷️ tag list: @kyunlov @kawaiijellyfishtimetravelr

💌 pm me or comment if you want to be on the tag list !!

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop drabbles #enhypen #enhypen fanfics #enhypen x reader #jay enhypen #jake enhypen #jay x reader #jake x reader #jake enha #jay enha #enhypen sunoo #jungwon enhypen

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shuggymaniac · 2 days ago

Text

Someone pointed out to this picture saying that Shanks and Buggy already know where the “One Piece” is since they were there when the route was figured out…

Which made me wonder why did they already go after if they were there… and of course with this song stuck in my head lately…

youtube

I thought of a new story idea!!!

—-

In the day of Roger’s execution, after Buggy ran away from Shanks instead of standing still Shanks ran after Buggy and did his best to convince him why they shouldn’t go after the “One Piece” just yet, which eventually Buggy agrees because deep down he doesn’t want to be alone without Shanks.

So they have this discussion on what they should do next, during that time they find out that the marines released the wanted posters for what’s left of the Roger’s pirates and Buggy was not of one of them but Shanks was.

With a heavy heart they come to the conclusion that Buggy needs to stay hidden because if Shanks sailed into the sea his bounty would be higher than those new pirates, and also because Buggy is way better navigator than Shanks. He could redraw the map for the “One Piece” with his eyes closed if he wanted to.

After securing ways to keep in contact without fear of the marines, they go on their separate ways. They talk every few months, giving each other updates of how found new friends and crewmate for their future crew.

Shanks’s crew already knew about Buggy and Shanks still being in contact and all, and they swore to secrecy. Buggy on the other hand took a different approach. The bluenette had trust issues so he already told a hand full of his crew about him and Shanks, adding to it his plan on staying low key so the marines won’t notice them, that they have to commit pity crimes so that they would be seen as just regular small pirates.

Cabaji, Mohji and Richie know and agreed to play along, pretending that they were just some cowardice pirates who follow their captain blindly. When Alvida and Mr.3 join they don’t know anything because Buggy didn’t trust them yet and with how Mr.3 reacted when Buggy got beat up by Mihawk and Crocodile assured him that he made the right choice on not telling them.

And they continue making this acts of Buggy hating him whenever they are seen in Public so that don’t discover them.

In their private lives, Shanks and Buggy already courted one another and confessed their feelings. At some point they meet up in an unknown island just so they can hold a small wedding for them, with their most trust crew mates as witnesses.

When Shanks lost his hand Buggy rushed to him alone so he can nurse him back to health, which the red hair would never say because it would upset Buggy but it was his best days since his it was the longest time his husband stayed with him.

When Buggy met Luffy in orange island he fought Shanks and yelled at him about how his “Special boy�� caused him to be stranded at sea without most of his body parts.

When Buggy told Shanks that he will borrow money from crocodile, Shanks tried to talk him out of it, because Buggy already has enough money from selling weapons in the black market in an anonymous name, and that Shanks can give him if he wants more. But Buggy disagrees convincing him that it was a good plan to make not only marines but other pirates to think that he was just a small fry pirate.

At some point Buggy and Shanks needed some high secret documents from the marines, so Buggy orchestrated an act to get captured and sent there so he can steal those documents, because getting out of “impel down” was easier than getting in.

I think I can milk this idea if I rewatch one piece again, I just need to remember Buggy and Shanks’s episodes.

#shuggy #buggy the clown #red haired shanks #one piece buggy #one piece shanks #Youtube

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peachhcs · 8 hours ago

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i feel like she’s got to realize at the end of the day she got two national titles with the school and three great seasons that’s so much she got there that she should take the offer because it’s her future and if she turns it down she may never get another offer

the side plot has begun 🤗 and my cliff hangers have returned

au masterlist

“wow..this is amazing, sweetie. we’re so proud of you,” ellen rushed out after reading the lengthy letter from the head coach. jim reread it more closely after looking at it from over his wife’s shoulder. samy embraced her mom, the excitement not as prominent on her features.

“this is so big for you. wow, i have no words,” the older woman laughed as she looked at the letter again, but she finally caught her daughter’s somewhat solemn expression.

“you don’t seem as excited?” ellen pointed out.

“no, no, i am. i am. i just..i guess i’m still processing it all. they’ve been looking at me since my freshmen year and they want me right away..” the girl trailed off a bit. she couldn’t believe a program like theirs had eyes on her since she was 18 and now they wanted her. of all people they wanted her on their team right away.

but at what cost? if samy signed on, she’d lose her last year at mich. what about all the friends she’s made? hannah? the two had plans for a house already next year. her teammates? she couldn’t just abandon those girls she’s spent so much time with? they needed her for her last year.

“are you thinking about not taking the offer?” jim approached the subject and samy flushed, burying her face into her hands.

“i don’t know. my mind’s been all over the place,” the younger girl admitted. she thought driving home to talk to her parents would help lead her in the right direction, but samy still felt incredibly lost.

“what would make you not wanna take it?” ellen wondered, her hand rubbing her daughter’s shoulder.

“everything i’ve built at mich. my senior year of college? hannah? the team? my last collegiate season with the program i basically helped build? there’s a lot,” samy rambled off and her parents exchanged a glance.

“and what would you lose if you didn’t take this offer?”

“maybe my only chance to go pro at a sport i love and have devoted my life to since i was like 12,” the brunette laughed a bit sadly.

“honey, we want you to make the best choice for yourself. this is such an amazing accomplishment right here. there’s people who see your talent and the skill you possess. remember when we were having a similar conversation about if you wanted to stick to hockey or take on soccer full time? back then, there wasn’t a pro league for women’s hockey yet and you knew soccer would bring you a lot more opportunity in the future. this is one of those moments, babe. a full offer right in front of you,” ellen said gently and samy sighed. she eyed the invitation again and everything in her mind was pulling her in two different directions.

“have you told your brothers yet? will?” jim asked and the girl shook her head.

“i haven’t told anyone except you guys.”

“maybe you should call them. they might have some insightful advice or a different perspective we aren’t saying,” her dad offered and samy knew he had a point.

her brothers always had something good to say, but she also knew they would tell her to take the opportunity. she knew will would tell her to because then they’d be closer if she moved out to california.

“yeah, i probably should,” samy nodded and her parents squeezed her shoulders.

“we’re gonna be proud of you no matter what you decide, okay? don’t think you’ll disappoint us if you decide to stay or go,” ellen whispered before sending her upstairs to have some space.

the brunette wandered back into her room, collapsing on her bed to just breathe for a second. she found her phone and trailed to the sibling group chat—a wash of deja vu hitting her back when she was calling her brothers to help her decide what college to go to. it was all so familiar being home in her childhood bedroom with no one but her parents downstairs.

luke joined the call first and then jack’s face appeared a second later in the same frame, “what’s up pop?” jack grinned.

“hi moose, hi rowdy,” samy smiled seeing them. luke readjusted his phone so she could see both of them on the couch together.

quinn connected a second later in his own apartment. he waved, “what’s up crew?”

“hey q-tip,” jack snickered at the nickname making quinn roll his eyes.

“i thought we talked about not calling me that,” the older boy said.

“we did, but i’m still calling you it,” the middle hughes snickered.

“i miss you guys. i wish you were here,” samy smiled sadly.

“uh oh, whenever baby hughes gets sappy, it means something’s wrong. what’s wrong?” jack immediately said and the girl flushed at how well he knew her.

“nothing bad..i just..” she trailed off and eyed the letter now on her desk, “i got an offer to play pro out in california,” she finally got out.

the three boys’ eyes widened in disbelief.

“no fucking way. holy shit, samy! that’s awesome!” luke quickly exclaimed.

“what team?” quinn asked.

“bay fc. apparently head coach montoya has been watching me since my freshman year and he wants me on,” the girl explained briefly which only heightened her brother’s excitement.

“holy shit, pop. that’s amazing. i always knew you had it in you,” jack grinned.

“but he wants me on right away which means i forfeit my last year at mich to move out to san francisco,” samy explained the downside.

“ah, the catch. there’s always a catch,” luke tsked.

“i mean that’s basically what moose and i did. we played at mich for two years before going pro. it sucks it has to be your last year but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” quinn rambled a bit and the girl nodded. she bit at her lip and luke quickly caught onto her expression.

“are you considering not taking it?” he voiced his thought out loud.

“you have to, sam. bay fc is a wicked good team. they’re like top eight right now. if the head coach has been watching you since freshmen year that has to mean something,” jack quickly cut in.

“i know, i know, i guess it’s just a lot to process right now. i mean how do i leave a program i helped build and bring two national titles home to? hannah? my teammates? my last year at mich in general. that’s not something i can just easily walk away from. it may be easy for you to say, jack because you never went to college,” the last part was a harsh dig and samy knew that.

“okay, okay, you’re right, pop. walking away from a team like that isn’t easy,” quinn stepped in before an argument escalated.

“sorry, i didn’t mean it like that,” she quickly backtracked. her emotions were definitely getting the better of her right now.

“i get it, it’s not easy. you know everyone would want you to take it though, right? that team, your coach, hannah, they’d all want you to take that in a heartbeat after everything you’ve done for the school and the program,” jack came a little softer.

“does will know?” quinn wondered and the brunette shook her head.

“i haven’t mentioned anything. i drove home after getting the letter to tell mom and dad. you guys are the only people besides them who know right now.”

“well, he’s gonna be ecstatic that you’ll be so close by,” luke grinned and the girl flushed.

“but don’t make a decision just because you’ll be close to your boyfriend,” quinn said and the girl rolled her eyes a bit.

“and when have i ever done that?” she said, but the older boy shrugged.

“just reminding you.”

“what do you think i should do?” samy asked her brothers honestly.

“you know we can’t answer that for you, pop. it’s your choice. your life. your dream,” jack said and the girl nodded.

“but if you were me, what would you do?”

“i’d remember the really great three years i’ve had with my teammates and friends and let that carry me into the next chapter in my life. the legacy you’ve left there isn’t gonna be one anyone forgets, samy,” luke hummed.

the younger girl sighed knowing she had a lot to think about in the next three weeks. it should’ve been such an easy decision for her, but the idea of leaving behind everything she’s ever known in a place that’s built her family wasn’t as easy thinking about.

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rubylovessharks · 2 days ago

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Hii!! I saw your post asking for ideas of what to write for Idia’s birthday and I just had to say something! (Feel free to ignore this ofc)

The whole crush trope is one of my obsessions along with Idia so I would love to see how you write Idia realizing that he has a crush on reader who is yuu. Like reader has also their otaku side (way more chill that Idia ofc) and they are patient with him so they got to form a pretty frienship with him and also helped him a lot after his overblot

You can omit this part if you want but im thinking of a really kind and sweet reader who besides Idia has befriended most of the twst cast, but they can act pretty shy if the situation is too overwhelming(?

Idk if that makes sense and sorry for the request and thank you for your time :)

of course i'll take on your request! i really like it too :3 so i'll try my best to write it, and write it well!!

Idia Shroud x Yuu(who is the reader)

no warnings! it's all gonna be fluff :333 but like it has hints of angst but ya know- that's idia for ya :/

It's been quite a long time since you and Idia have become friends, you still remember how you first got to know each other. Idia's brother, Ortho, has found out about your shared interest for gaming and anime and thought that you'd make a great first irl friend for Idia. And the very first moment you got introduced to him you knew that you two really are similar, and it wasn't just Ortho's exaggerated view point.

You both were shy and afraid of social interactions, you both enjoy video games and let's not forget that whenever you got the chance you'd talk Ace's and Deuce's ears off about the various animes you've watched. So you two really do have a lot in common. It's just that Idia seems to distant himself from others, never wanting to leave his room and only going out if he really needed to. And how could you call yourself his good friend if you don't try to make an effort to make his sad life a little better?

And that effort has worked too well. Because now everytime you are even mentioned Idia's heart feels heavy. If before he was just shy yet kind of willing to let you into his life now he feels as if something is totally wrong! Everytime you two hang out he feels as if there's a tugging feeling inside his chest, telling him to get closer and hug you.

The tips of his hair turn a light pink as his face reddens, he chokes a for a moment on nothing as he stares at your form. You were playing games at the moment and Idia couldn't help but think that you are the most beautiful thing in the world. Yet like always Idia tends to go towards the negative outlook on life instead of a positive one, and that leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He remembers that day, or rather specifically that fight.

"Why do you still come hang out with me?" you hear him ask with that soft voice of his. What a stupid question you think to yourself, doesn't he know that you come here to have fun? "What do you mean?" "do you just not remember a week ago?" you put down the controller you held and turned to fully look at him "ya know... When I went berserk and tried to unleash a bunch of monsters out to the world????" "you mean when you overbloted? Yeah I remember. It doesn't change the way I feel about you." Somehow these words pulled harder at his heart, as if you were pulling his very soul closer and closer towards you.

"Ever since I met you you were always showing signs of mental problems, and I still decided to become friends with you." now that Idia thinks about it, he did act like he had no real purpose. And now there's a nagging part in his brain that thinks otherwise.. why did feelings have to be so confusing and weird!? Is what he thinks.

"Well I don't get feelings either...." you say as if you read his mind, "but I'd like to ask, since you brought up the subject," "brought up the subject?" Idia whispers "what do you feel?" Now Idia is completely pink. From his hair to his face, if he could get redder he would! "Did I say that outloud!?" he panics. "Did you not mean to? Shouldn't friends tell eachother their problems and try to help eachother out?" Something about you saying that he's ''just a friend'' makes his heart sink. As if he's falling down after his overblot again, down and down until he hits rock bottom.

"Idia please...." you reach out for him, like you're trying to pull him up, to stop him from falling. "tell me what's wrong." Maybe he should explain the way he feels. Maybe he should try to understand that weird tugging feeling he has. Maybe it's something he just never felt before, and you are the cause of it, the reason he's been feeling more happy than what he's past self has felt on a regular basis.

There's no way it is romantic love...Right?

And he reaches out, holding your hand in his, letting you help him from the endless falling. Getting him out of that pit of dark thoughts. "I love you." You tell him, and he never hit rock bottom once you said that.

All of the sudden he's pink again, and as these words loop through his brain he gets it. That tugging, pulling feeling on his chest, his heart, was his love for you. His yearning to be with you. The want to make you happy as he keeps you by his side to maintain his happiness too.

But he's not deserving..

Is what his old self would've said. But now he knows that if he wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him, saying no will just harm you. Saying no will just push you away and make you feel as if doesn't want that as well. So he does something he would've never thought he'll do in his life.

"I-I love you too!"

He says shakily as he leans forward to peck your lips, and you too, lean into it making his birthday a happy memory in his eyes again.

#twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #twisted wonderland idia #idia x reader #twst idia #twst yuu #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst fluff #twst x yuu #twst x reader #twst x mc #twst x y/n #twst x you

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yaralulus-secret-santa · 2 days ago

Text

henlo... apologies... the AO3 curse has found me...

pls enjoy the first of three gifts... @yaralulu for @acotargiftexchange u will receive another one today as well...

this was also supposed 2 be a hint for the type of content i write... so now.. u will be sure

the expendables

Eris, Tamlin and Jurian are three souls that don’t belong. The first is an heir who will never inherit anything, the second is a savage monster wearing a crown and the last is a human who isn’t capable of anything good. What happens when they come together and realize that pain is best healed together?

TAGS: NSFW / EXPLICIT, Jurian x Eris x Tamlin

Read on AO3 or below the cut.

“What are you doing?”

Tamlin’s voice is an easy rumble, as if the day of war planning had stolen any pretenses of politeness. He sounds tired, and he sounds more like himself. He doesn’t care for the enchanted cabins, or the cluster of soldiers. He likes to make camp further out, and keep his fire unlit. The warmth does nothing for him anymore, and he no longer wants to keep the darkness at bay.

(It finds him anyway.)

He doesn’t look up as Eris slides beside him on his log, an expensive bottle in hand and two glasses. The Autumn son snaps, immediately lighting a flame before them and Tamlin sighs. He prefers to wallow in private.

“Nothing that concerns you, feel free to carry on sulking. All that brow furrowing is going to give you wrinkles.”

“Only humans get wrinkles.”

“Hm, that’s what Big Glamour wants you to think,” Eris winks.

The cork comes off with a pop, and Eris pours a drink in both glasses. He picks his up and downs it once, before filling it up again. Tamlin’s is left on the ground between them.

“I mean, why do you keep doing that,” Tamlin emphasizes, nodding towards the bottle. “Here.”

It’s not the first time that Eris has planted himself beside the Spring Faerie; it’s almost routine by now. A long day of fighting, either enemies or their own allies, the sun sets and somehow, he finds himself wandering to find the sulking Tamlin. Tamlin is no good company, and yet Eris finds him anyway.

“It’s quiet here, and you don’t really care, do you?”

Tamlin does not. He’s used to being alone, and after what the soldiers have seen on the battlefield, they give him a wide berth. The only people who care to bother him are his brothers, when they aren’t busy, and those of higher ranks like Eris and Jurian. Speaking of the human General, he hasn’t shown his face yet. He’s bound to arrive and shatter any moment of peace left in this damned war.

He reaches for the second glass, downing it and setting it back down.

“Attaboy,” Eris praises and fills the glass up again.

The Autumn faerie empties his glass once more before speaking. “You really should quit sulking. Faeries like us, we aren’t meant to survive this war. If you’re lucky, you’ll die honorably instead of a timely and embarrassing accident orchestrated by your father.”

Neither of their High Lords intend to surrender their seats, and even Eris with his pride can admit that Tamlin is as big of a threat to the Spring Court as he is to Autumn.

“And that… is something to look forward to?”

“No, I just think it’s freeing. We can, and should do whatever we want. We can live like humans and their fleeting lives.”

Tamlin still doesn’t understand. Their lives are so short, and each moment feels like it should be crucial to them. He doesn’t know how that translates into his own life. He frowns, taking the glass into his hand and looking at the way the flames light up the crystal and the amber liquid within.

Eris gives him a sideways glance, incredulous and returns his attention ahead of him.

“We could do something wild, like stage a coup. What can they do to us? Beat us? Send us to war? Kill us?” His laughter is the crackle-and-pop of a campfire, dangerously subtle and comforting. “Wouldn’t it be fun, Tammy? Oh, what a pair we would be.”

They aren’t friends. They have nothing in common, and perhaps that is why Eris feels safe to utter the most treacherous thoughts or allow Tamlin’s silence to blanket him. Tamlin isn’t nearly as ambitious as any one of Eris’ brothers.

He glances at Eris, as if the answer would be etched there on the side of his face, somewhere along the height of his cheek bones or the strength of his handsome jaw. It isn’t. All he has is the memory of him one night, without warning or precedent, sitting beside him and doing… nothing. He’d come, sometimes with nothing and sometimes with a drink, spend the night and vanish. His visits are infrequent, but the more Tamlin thinks about it, the more he realizes that it’s the hard days that bring him here.

Hm, he ponders. Tamlin thought hard days were best spent alone.

The sound of rustling has his ear twitching. Faint, but still there. The culprit is well-versed in discretion, like the very best of spies, and the most human ones.

“Did someone say a coup?”

Eris sighs, palming his face. “Go away, Jurian. How do you keep finding us?”

“Well, it’s not that hard. You’re always here. I’m just going to squeeze,” the human says, stepping into the space between them. It’s not enough for any additional person, but he hopes to squish himself between the faeries and one of them will yield. Probably. Probably not, none of them were taught to do that. “Right in here.” Jurian keeps wiggling his hips against their shoulders for more space.

In the end, Tamlin slides over to make space for the human.

“Why the fuc—!” Eris hisses. “Get your filthy hands off—This bottle is worth more than your entire existence!”

“Gimme, gimme, gimme, I’ll tell everyone you’re staging a coup. Just give me sippy,” Jurian counters, leaning in close with puckered lips.

“Why are you trying to—” Eris bristles, the ends of his hair lighting up with the threat of a flame.

Tamlin turns his head, trying to hide his smile as Jurian distracts Eris with the threat of a kiss. In a moment of disgusted distraction, the human snatches the bottle and suckles at its teat with the voracity of a starving, abandoned kitten.

“You fucking idiot.” There is an attempt to snatch the bottle back, and Tamlin gets elbowed in the process. “That’s going to kill you, you moronic mortal!”

Tamlin sighs; Jurian’s body is turned towards him, making it easier for him to gently take the bottle away from him. He’s so much stronger that there isn’t much of a fight. It helps that Eris is pulling on his hair, too, trying to free this stray from his own idiocy. Tamlin sets the bottle on his side, where it’s an even bigger challenge to steal from.

“Whoa. Whoa.”

Jurian’s eyes are blown wide, the brown of his irises are nothing more than a thin ring around his pupils. The world must look so different to him, and Tamlin can only watch in fascination as the human’s hands flare around each of their chests—one on Tamlin’s left pectoral, and the other on Eris’ right one (which is quickly slapped away with a vicious ‘don’t touch me’).

The smile on Tamlin’s face lingers as he watches Jurian experience their world for the first time. Every sound and sight demands his attention, and the alcohol has him wobbling like a newborn. Tamlin laughs softly, and Jurian snaps his head towards him. He stares at Tamlin’s lips, fascinated by the source of the sound. Out of the corner of his eye, Tamlin sees Eris leaning forward to stare at him with mild disgust and… confusion?

“You’re…” Eris huffs, unsure of the words to choose, so he abandons the thought.

Jurian cups Tamlin’s face, getting close and staring at Tamlin’s mouth as if his mouth depended on it.

“Do it again.” Jurian’s voice carries a very heavy slur to it.

Laughter, especially coming from any of the Spring sons, without bitterness and vitriol is such a strange sound, even to Tamlin himself. His cheeks hurt from smiling, and watching the ridiculousness of Jurian who doesn’t belong here among creatures that loathe him. Yet Jurian always finds a way to amuse himself, and he seems so… alive. Is this what Eris meant?

Tamlin can’t force a laugh, but he chuckles.

Jurian’s eyes widen, and he gets closer, staring at Tamlin’s mouth and teeth. He sticks an exploratory finger in Tamlin’s mouth, and the surprise of it all has Tamlin laughing again. The human is strange—so strange.

“I’d bite it off if I were you,” Eris complains distantly.

But no. Tamlin is happy to indulge Jurian’s curiosity, opening his mouth and allowing Jurian to run his fingers over the points of his fangs, and the soft curve of his lip. It’s not his fault, he’s drunk. That was Eris’ goal, wasn’t it? Jurian simply beat them there.

“What sharp teeth you have,” Jurian breathes; his voice takes on a different intonation. “What a beautiful fucking mouth.” He has the mind to withdraw his hand from the beastly fae’s face, and he must not notice the way Tamlin’s breath hitches. “Can I put my cock in it?”

“Jurian!” Eris snaps.

“Alright.”

“Tamlin!”

The human hops to his feet, and clears the space between the faeries. Tamlin holds Eris’ gaze, finding the hollowness there—the growing emptiness in his soul that should have been filled with the love of family, friends and so much more. It was carved out of him as a child. Eris tries to fill it with ambition, pride and callousness, but the darkness takes it all. It’s a pain that no one else can see, hidden beneath enchanted emberworm threads, and all the privilege in the world.

Tamlin shares the same wound.

“You told me to stop sulking,” is all Tamlin says.

“That’s not—” Eris huffs, interrupted by the clink of Jurian’s belt hitting the ground. His amber eyes flicker to those scarred hands, fumbling with the buttons of his trousers. He watches as Jurian sways, an eager flush on his face. Jurian’s tongue is caught between his own teeth and there’s a furrow to his dark brow as he tries to figure out this frustratingly simple thing. The human is not particularly handsome. His hair is wild, and his chin carries a permanent stubble. His weak body carries scars a lot easier than faeries. Calluses, too. It occurs to Eris that he has never had a human before, but Jurian’s interest is not… in him. He abandons his complaints, glancing away to hide his own flush.

Eris has yet to decide if he wants to demand attention or simply… watch. He is learning so much about Spring’s youngest. “You’re really going to just let him use you? A human? Have you even fucked anyone before?”

Tamlin had begun to lean in, inspecting the erection presented to him. Jurian is a decent size, among the average of cocks Tamlin has seen in the barracks and baths. It smells of him, concentrated and musky, but not bad, not bad at all. He is in the midst of wondering what it tastes like—what would happen if he were to lick the glistening bead of arousal off the tip—when Eris’ question hits him.

“No, but I suppose as long as there are cocks going into holes, that’s the whole gist of it.”

“That’s not— nevermind.”

Jurian is the perfect subject, an unimportant human whose existence will be nothing more than a blip in the long, long lives of faeries. He is careless, and thoughtless, and willing to do anything like bed anything that tickles his fancy, including Clythia. (Worse, he’ll fuck behind her back, too.) Tamlin feels pity, seeing the way Jurian searches and searches for meaning, trying to find his place in this world that is decaying by the day.

Maybe this is how they all help each other.

Spring’s shapeshifter unfurls his tongue, longer than it should be, even for his species and curls it around the head of Jurian’s cock. He licks it, feeling the way the velvety skin pulls to reveal smoother, sensitive skin underneath. Jurian moans, body trembling under Tamlin’s curious exploration, and he has to hold onto Tamlin’s shoulders to steady himself. Salty-sweet bursts onto his tongue as he licks, then proceeds to suck on the top of Jurian’s penis.

Tamlin takes more and more of Jurian into his mouth, sheathing him completely. The length of him just breaches his throat, but nothing Tamlin can’t accommodate for. He stays there for a moment, listening to the symphony spilling from his lips. It’s beautiful, and Tamlin yearns to hear more of it.

(An errant thought bubbles up in his mind. He misses music, and so he finds it wherever he can.)

He begins to move, gripping Jurian’s waist with his large hands, and bobs his head on his cock. He keeps the human steady, controlling the pace no matter how much Jurian whimpers, moans and begs for more.

“ Ah, Tamlin! More, I need more.”

There’s only so much Eris can take, his own arousal tenting his tailored trousers, before he gets involved. He palms himself, adjusting his cock before he gets up, pressing himself against Jurian’s back. The thing is, he sees right through them both and their shared affliction. A soul can only go so long without being touched, and sooner or later, the desperation sets it. Jurian and Tamlin will never speak of their pain, but Eris can taste it in the air, shrouding the both of them wherever they go.

They have their own ways of pretending not to care, but he can feel it in the human’s body, the way he leans against Eris, trusting him to support him as his bones grow weaker by the minute.

“Touch me, fuck, both of you.”

No, it’s more than touch ; Jurian wants to drown in them. Eris knows because he has that very same thought, envy blooming in his chest. He wants to be in the middle, caught between Tamlin’s protective embrace and the heat of Jurian’s attention. Pale, slender fingers wrap around Jurian’s chin, and forces his gaze downwards where the rightful heir of Spring spears himself on his length.

“Watch him. He’s doing you a service, stupid human.”

Eris pulls his trousers further down, exposing his ass. His free hand moves to Jurian’s mouth, replacing his moans with choked, wet sounds. He purposely opposes Tamlin’s pace, setting Jurian off-kilter and demanding that he focus on the sensations pulling him to and fro.

“Get it nice and wet, it’s all you’re getting.”

The saliva-slicked fingers slip between the crack of his ass, trailing further and further down. Eris finds Jurian’s furled hole. Each circle he draws against it elicits a soft moan from Jurian. Jurian alternates between trying to get more friction from Tamlin, and pushing back onto Eris.

So, this is what it feels like to be wanted?

Eris’ mask slips as he releases Jurian’s chin, pushing his index into him all while kissing his neck, and nipping his earlobe. His hands wander the expanse of Jurian’s chest, tweaking a nipple harder and harder, listening to the octaves go up. Tamlin seems to enjoy it; he’s moved to stroking Jurian and lapping at his balls. His patience wears thin, adding more digits into him as soon as he can. It must stretch and burn, but Jurian doesn’t complain. He simply yields to whatever the faeries want to do with him.

As soon as he can, Eris frees himself and lines his cock up against his loosened hole. Then, he pushes into him.

Jurian is tighter than any cunt Eris’ father has ever served him, and he runs hot. It feels like an embrace, and Jurian’s hands scrambling to take hold of him, burying his fingers into Eris’ auburn locks. The other hand is fisted into Tamlin’s hair.

“Fuck,” Eris hisses, biting into Jurian’s shoulder. “This is one way to shut you up.” His voice is low and husky.

“I wanna, Iwannacum,” Jurian whisper-pleads.

A choked sound escapes him; Tamlin has stopped sucking him off. The Spring faerie stands before them, taller than both. His eyes have darkened with hunger, and he pulls off his shirt. The laces on his pants are easily undone, and he rids himself of all other items of clothing. Tamlin is a sight, and before this moment, Eris has never seen him. He’s broad, and a bulk of muscle, but under the moonlight he is beautiful.

Tamlin grips himself, stroking his monstrous length. “You think he can take us both?”

Jurian is not so far gone that he doesn’t realize what’s going on. His eyes widen. Eris’ length already fills him, and he can’t—he can’t take that.

“No, no, no, fuck, it’s not going to fit. Ah! Ah, fuck!”

The cock inside him withdraws, and thrusts back into him, cutting off any useless thoughts.

“Are you sure? You’d really leave Tamlin out when he’s the one who took such good care of you? If he can’t get what he wants, why should you?” Eris’ finger traces the length of Jurian’s hardness, adding to the overwhelming cacophony of sensations bursting through his body. “He let us into his little space, and you exclude him? Naughty boy.” Eris grips him so tight, his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“It’s fine. Don’t want to hurt him,” Tamlin grunts. He hides his disappointment well. He hides all of him better than any spy within their ranks. He starts to pull away, but Jurian stops him, lifting one leg to better expose himself to Tamlin and catching him by the arm. Eris continues thrusting into him, putting on a show for Tamlin. It’s mean, but Jurian is nothing if not perseverent.

“P-Put it in.”

It does no one any good for Jurian to get hurt, so Tamlin finds himself back on his knees. Tamlin licks into Jurian, coaxing him open as Eris fucks him liberally. He makes sure to get him as wet as possible, but it’s not enough. Jurian is only human.

“He needs more lube.”

“Use his cum,” Eris suggests without missing a beat. “Ready?”

Tamlin nods, and Eris shifts his angle, hitting Jurian’s prostate. The wet sounds of fucking as punctuated with Jurian’s helpless keening. Jurian grabs onto whatever he can, lest the ecstasy sweep him away completely. His face twists into an expression of sheer euphoria as his body tightens, then goes taut like a bowstring. Tamlin puts his mouth around Jurian’s cock, and begins to suck. It’s the last straw—it tips him over into a mind-blowing orgasm. He spills everything he has into Tamlin’s mouth, where the faerie gathers it all.

Cum and saliva are spit into his palm, and the mixture is worked into him alongside Eris’ thrusting member. Tamlin fits one, two, three fingers, but it’s not enough. Tamlin tugs at the edges of Jurian’s hole, as gently as he can without hurting him.

“Just fucking put it in,” Jurian snaps. “Whatever the fuck you think you’ll do, Clythia has,” he pauses, moaning. Even though he’s come, his erection has yet to wane. He can… he wants to come again. “She’s done worse so just fuck me and make me feel good.”

Worse?

Tamlin wants to ask, and Eris simply swears. Now isn’t the time for talks. Jurian has made his request, and Tamlin can only oblige. If it’s the one thing he can give him, then Tamlin will do it.

Eris stops moving to allow Tamlin to work himself into him. It’s a delicate task, and the fit is impossibly tight. Tamlin could cum just from this, and the sight of Jurian writhing in his arms is too much.

“Stop, Jurian, just—for a second.” Tamlin whispers, his touch a lot more delicate than Eris’. The struggle is etched into his face. He guides himself further and further into Jurian. At first, he didn’t think it would be possible, and Jurian’s protest made him hesitate, but no. Jurian really can take him. “Fuck,” he shudders.

“Heavenly, isn’t it?”

“Eris,” Tamlin warns, once fully sheathed inside Jurian alongside Eris.

“Yeah, alright,” Eris reassures, supporting Jurian’s weight in his arms and letting Tamlin take the lead.

The younger faerie moves, testing Jurian’s limits. He wants to give into his desires, but the last thing Tamlin wants is to hurt more people. He moves, and he listens; he’s attentive to all the tells of Jurian’s body, ignoring the way Jurian’s hot hole sucks him in.

“He’s looser now,” Tamlin says through gritted teeth. “Come with me? Both of you?”

He looks at Eris through his blonde lashes, and kisses Jurian’s cheek, all while upping the pace. Tamlin cranes his neck, reaching for Eris over Jurian’s shoulder, and he notices the hesitation before Eris closes the distance to kiss him.

The kiss—The kiss is everything. Tamlin swears he could have cum with an act as simple as this. It tethers him to this life, and makes him feel more alive than anything has in years. Eris must feel it too because he deepens it, and turns their face to allow Jurian to nuzzle in. The human gets a kiss from each of them as they all come together.

***

“Should I take him to the healer?” Tamlin asks, shifting into a great wolf-bear, and curling around his small human. Eris’ coat is already draped over Jurian, but Tamlin takes extra precautions.

“No, he just needs some salve. I’ll fetch it for him.” Eris moves to leave.

“Eris.”

The Autumn faerie pauses. “What?”

There’s a bite to his words, and Tamlin can’t tell if it’s out of fear for what he’ll say next or if the moment’s over. Their fates won't change. Nothing has changed.

“Nothing. I’ll be here.”

#the queen mentioned she wanted an angsty threesome...#healing where...#acotargiftexchange #for yaralulu #tamlin #eris vanserra #jurian #jurian x eris vanserra x tamlin

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