#and yes you read those male characters correctly

[luna-the-cretar]

I just remembered that the only other female character i remember having a bit of a crush on was Joy from Monster Prom

(This is her, btw)

…and as for recently, it is Lethica. From Edge of Midnight. From Legends of Avantris.

Guys I. I thought I had gotten past my “edgy fictional character” (I know Lethica isn’t even remotely edgy, I’m just talking about color palette here) phase when I was like, 14. I thought that phase died years ago. I didn’t expect it to just transfer to female fictional characters…

[olderthannetfic]

I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

--

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

[ladyniniane]

The worst Greek mythology retelling?

Unless you live in a cave (lucky you), you can't have escaped the wave of Greek mythology retellings. Some are bad, some are good and most of them are mediocre. Among those I've read, one was particularly bad and cringe and we are going to dissect it today.

PSA: As you can see, I didn't include the book's title in the post, nor use specific tags. This post is primarily aimed at me and my mutuals. If you disagree, feel free to block me and mask my username. You're the master of your ship and the only one who can curate your internet experience. Rude comments will be sent to the Tartarus blocked. And I mean, you aren't going to change my mind anyway so don't bother trying😎.

Now that we are done, let me introduce you to this book.

I already see some of you in the back rows being like "But Niniane, why did you bother with this? It's obviously going to be bad!". Well, sometimes I need things that are light and easy to read. Everyone needs to turn their brain off from time to time.

And besides, it looked inoffensive. The idea of modern women being isekaied during the Trojan War is fun. As a writer and enjoyer of OC fanfics, I absolutely love new takes and dynamics with existing characters.

Except that...it wasn't fun at all! Let's dive! And I hope you're prepared because it's gonna be a ride.

-So it starts with the goddesses being fed up with the Trojan War and male egos (Lego des Zhommes if you're French). They decide to find a way to stop the war. So far, so good.

-And their solution is to...send modern women back in time. Yeah, because they think that ancient-era women are too weak and meek. Only independent modern women will be able to handle those strong warriors:

"modern mortal women are different from ancient women [...] they're independent and smart and not used to bowing down and taking orders [...] maidens from the ancient world are not equipped to handle such a man, but I know that modern mortal women are different ---stronger, smarter, more independent."

Yes, you've read correctly.

First of all, it reeks of victim-blaming. If the Trojan women had been more assertive, they could have stopped this. It could have prevented them from being raped and enslaved! They just had to lean in and...Stop, stop. And I'm sorry but those ancient women are more equipped with dealing with that sort of men because they live with them every day. Idk the goddesses could have just...empowered the Trojan women so they could resist? Send the Amazons to help (with more success than in the original myths)? Give them a safe place where they could be protected?

-So, anyway, the heroine is transported in the body of a Trojan princess. But there is another problem. The heroine's friend who transmigrates with her is black. And she gets turned into a white woman. The reason? "Jacqueline’s lovely dark skin would be too hard to explain among the golden Greeks"(sic.). Here, we can see that the author didn't bother doing her research. Many stories regarding the Trojan War have an African king come to the Trojans' aid. The ancient world was furthermore interconnected. So yes, it would have been f*cking easy to explain. And to add insult to injury, our black woman turned white becomes the servant of the main character and is treated as her property.

-So anyway, MC becomes Achilles' war prize. And being a war prize is such a cool and fun life! You can wander around the camp, with no fear of being sexually assaulted!

-MC is a therapist and wants to try to help Achilles. She thus practices hypnosis on him and decides to have sex with him while he's still in that state. So, she basically rapes him. The worst thing: she knows it's wrong, but she does it anyway and she isn't sorry.

-Then, Achilles tells the MC that he has frequent bouts of berserk rage and that he even raped a woman. But he didn't mean to do it. Poor meow meow.

Needless to say, I stopped here. This wasn't fun, this was downright insensitive. The ending is predictable: MC ends up with Achilles and MC's best friend with Patroclus because no one can stay single!

Anyway, that was, imo, the worst Greek mythology retelling.

[justasillyartist]

I want to read a throne of glass rewrite because sjm did an awful job.

Anyway things I think would be better for tog:

•No rowan and aelin it seemed forced and to quick plus rowan told aelin to k***herself and hit her or said something aboat going to do it

•if there had to be romance aelin and fenrys would work only if there had to be romance though I see them more as friends

•I would have aelin actually k*** people

•aelin should be in her late 20s because she can't be that skilled and only be 19

•chaol and yerne should not be married that quick

•events of tower of dawn should be longer I felt we missed out on a lot of culture and characters

•chaol should be older than aelin and dorian like come on he is captain of the guards he has to be experienced because he is in charge of people and is also probably training them aswell

•lorcan and elite they have a nice relationship but why is lorcan so tall and elite so small to me elite would look like a child standing next to lorcan like have elide taller at least around 5,6 5,7

•have the group struggle defeating maeve and erwan because it seemed to quick and easy for them and those 2 are over thousands of years old like what do you mean 19 year olds helped out by 300 year olds be ye guys .Maeve brainwashed an entire city of fae for 3000 years.

•make dorians father more cruel I want to hate him not forget aboat him

•nehimah(don't if I spelled her name correctly) didn't have to die like that if she had to die she should have died later like there were other ways to make aelin motivated

•the 13 dint all have to die like what the he'll sjm some of them could be badly injured or burned or something

•aelin running through the fae war camp in chains like girl your not that gast to out run fae males/men or whatever they call themselves. It was an emotional sence for the characters though

Please tell me If there are more problems I should know aboat because I think I forgot aboat some

[romilly-jay]

Thoughts About The "Thoughts About The Expanse" Panel

***spoilers, natch***

This was one of the sessions I actively wanted to go to but Managing Worldcon Life got in the way. (If I've reconstructed correctly - never certain!- this session was on the same day as the big Worldcon philharmonic concert and immediately before it? If that's right - in theory, it should have been possible to do both, one straight after the other, BUT in reality, this hour got eaten up in queueing time.

So, delighted to find it in the replays and an early priority to listen to - and very glad I did, if mainly to feel the waves of joy and affection rising as I was reminded how VERY MUCH I loved this show*.

*Yes, I know that The Expanse is also an impressive series of novels and novellas as well, but I have mostly - not read these. Yet. They are firmly IN my TBR but as with Worldcon, life has so far Intervened.

=========================================

Right, I'd written the bits above and below the === then got called away [dinner awaits no blogging, dahlings] and then... forgot to return - so the middle segment was NEARLY just the following:

Some of the panel content here.

But - hurrah - started on the next blog and wanted to link it to what that clever Caroline Mersey said about it, only to discover that... she said nothing (as reported here). Oops and - corrected.

In fact almost all of the next part is CM's pitch for why The Expanse is the greatest TV SF series of the 21st century // worldcon Aug 2024

Her pitch revolved around the treatment of sexuality and gender:

This show is the most progressive recent SFF show, particularly in the way it queers gender and sexuality in ways we rarely see on TV.

The power is how it normalises and embeds its treatment. It has poly relationships – almost unheard of in commercial productions. Holden’s family of origin. It’s not just about the tax breaks. Drummer’s crew of space pirates. More complex than a traditional love triangle (tho Draomi is a canon relationship YAY.) This is a show that consistently queers and interrogates expected gender roles. Bobby Draper: not sexualised, not all-powerful, seeks help. Peaches: classic tale of angry superhero on a revenge trip who earns her redemption. Drummer: uber-competent but also with brittle edges.

The exception to the excellence is Julie Mao – the fetishised object of a middle aged white guy’s obsession. CM comments that book one was pretty standard male-oriented SF – very blokey, testosterone-fuelled – but complimented the two writers for how they responded to receiving that feedback, gender flipping certain characters from book two onwards and allowing the story to unfold as it did.

CM's summary of what she loves about the show is made with reference to the final three episodes of S5:

The story around Naomi’s resilience – her desperate determination to save the Roci from Inaros’s trap – we don’t breathe until she does again – amazing engineering ingenuity – while she’s trying to send a signal and break the trap. We have Amos and Peaches and their hugely daring escape from Earth. Avasarala’s coup. Drummer’s torn loyalties – but we’ve also got: how you best deal with your sex pest cast member by writing them out in a way that respects the character but conclusively rules out a return. Those episodes exemplify the most striking and my favourite things about the series.

There was really only one point I *really* wanted to grab from the rest of the session and I *believe* it was lawyer Wes Rist who made it:

Noting the benefit to the quality of the story - its complexity, its ambiguity, the kinks away from expected narratives - that they had several “goes” at it. The role playing game. The books (and novellas filling out the world between the main stories). And then the show.

=========================================

Finishing up by I'm listing out the panel members, incl their varied backgrounds, along with a sort-of-summary of what they said about themselves. To me, this is synecdochal (??) of the identity and value-set of the series and the quality of its appeal i.e. appeals to and relevant to, well, lots of people but almost certainly including:

people who are interested in politics and/or international relations and/or Marxism and/or debating between different philosophies;

people who like hard science and realistic space battles - slash - pouring of liquids in zero G;

people who want to imagine human futures across and within the solar system and the social - slash - economic - slash - politics impacts and implications involved in becoming a bi-planetary species and/or a multi-space location capitalist construct; and

people who want to imagine alternative gendered futures.

[Also, people who think about the Roman empire alot. Perhaps daily.]

These, then, are the panellists:

Sven von Vittorelli is a conservation biologist from Germany, who told the room that his day job is often filled with frustration, with the sense of coming up against the boundaries of what's possible, and so chooses to enrich his life through engaging with science fiction.

[Writing - he's working on the first novel in a hard SF series, which appealed to me immediately because it namechecks Shackleton in the title, Shackleton Ridge. And as a fan - he won me over again by naming Firefly and Battlestar Galactica as series he loved on the way to becoming a fan of The Expanse.]

Wes Rist is an international human rights lawyer whose day job involves working on genocide, war crimes and crimes against humanity - clearly, seriously heavy, and also, deeply relevant to the political context, themes and developments of The Expanse series.

[He clarified, of course, that his views expressed here, are personal - he's working in some capacity for the US government but not speaking for his employer HERE.]

Bob Hranek has a tech background, initially for the US Airforce (5 yrs), then for the US min of defence (35 years) focused on aerospace systems - he pointed out that any views expressed were his own and not those of his employer (prompting the same from WR).

He joked that given his background he would generally, in the context of The Expanse, be expected to be representing [Evil! Tech! And Weapons! Giant!] Protogen.

Caroline Mersey is a cos player and book nerd and organises lots of book events in her spare time, including the 'Super Relaxed Fantasy Bookclub' - every second Tuesday in London. [Must attempt to go...]

And the panel moderator, Michael Pea, is senior writer at Friends of Comic Con and self-declared *uberfan* of The Expanse.

[ananke-xiii]

From Epic to Tragedy to ... Epic, I guess? Or why Supernatural Season 6 is the most important season of all (pt 1).

Do I have your attention? Yes, good. But just so you know it'll be long and in installments and maybe it makes sense or maybe not.

Yes, I know the title is a tiny bit incendiary but I promise I have a point to make.  

So, my idea: I posit that SPN S1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone while S6, in an unexpected turn of events, heavily shifts the show towards a tragic narrative with an epic tone. S6 creates a great divide within the narrative itself that the show is ultimately unable to resolve. On one hand Sam will “carry on” the epic narrative, on the other Castiel will “swan dive” to his (many) tragic endings. S8-11 arc correctly identifies Dean as the character who's able to mitigate the divide and bring the two narratives together. However, the pervy obsession Chuck has with Deanthe show simply refuses to do so, consequently S12 introduces Jack (as an absent character but we already know from S11 The Mother as an Archetype is now alive and well in the unfridged Mary so the emergence of The Son is something clear from the very ending of the previous season) as the character most likely to resolve the narrative. However, S13-15 arc fails because it wants to do too many things at the same time. The "funny" thing is that, as a result, all characters just seem to be extremely tired of The Journey, The Quest, the obstacles, they all start screaming "Catharsis!" but it's still not given to them (hello Chuck!). By the time Cas makes the deal with The Empty the audience feels the impending tragedy and it's partially given to them, although... The show doesn't mend "The Rupture" between the two narratives, Cas dies as a tragic hero, Sam as an epic hero and Dean and Jack will remain in their limbo (a limbheaven, I guess? lol) but in substantially different positions. I personally think that this is what led to the audience’s conflicted response about the finale: ultimately the scale was tipped off in favor of the tragic narrative but the audience was eventually given the epic narrative ending.  

Premise: this is my very first attempt at writing what in my mind, I hope, will turn out to be an analysis, a meta if you will, about Supernatural. I stand on the shoulders of giants and I myself am a microscopic ant but, you know, there’s room for everyone even for a little ant like me. I want to write down my thoughts and share them with strangers on the internet because 1) if I keep all my ideas trapped inside my head I’ll explode; 2) writing them down helps holding my spiraling mind down; 3) I thrive when people listen to my convoluted thoughts and share their opinions and we all have heated chats and sometimes I end up hating those people because they’re right but also I fall in love with their minds lol.  

Finally, please just remember that I’m also just a girl, sitting in front of a laptop, asking you to not come at me.

Part 1: Or where I posit that SPN s1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone…

Tell me, O Muse, of the man of many devices…

After the Pilot, the first SPN episode starts with two guys playing a videogame. One tells the other that he’s cheating; the other replies that he’s just smart. Interesting. The third guy we see (Guys! Guys! Guys!) is sending a video to his girlfriend and oh, look! He’s reading “The Hero with a Thousand Face” written by Joseph Campbell.

In less than 10 seconds the show is literally telling us everything we need to know: we’re dealing with Young Males, An Adventure, Trials, Obstacles… and with the completion of the journey (just like the videogame: overcome all your obstacle until you win). Basically, the show is an epic narrative. More specifically, it’s an epic narrative like The Odyssey. Well, actually, no. It’s more like The Telemachy. The Telemachy is the first 4 books of the Odyssey where Telemachus leaves Ithaca for the first time to look for his Absent Father. Sounds familiar? By the way, to this day I can’t help but feel deep admiration when I realize that The Odyssey is the story of The Absent Father and it starts off… precisely with his absence! Just like Supernatural, LOL.

Necessary aside: as if this was not already enough S10E5 Fan Fiction gifts us with what I find is the most brilliant meta ever metaed on SPN (and no, I’m not talking about the fan fiction part). In this episode we find out that the MOTW is… *drums roll* CALLIOPE!!! The muse who presides over EPIC POETRY! And she wants to EAT The Author (and, in hindsight the fact that the Real Author is God… I mean, possibly Calliope was THEE monster that they really shouldn’t have killed lol). As if this was not enough… Maggie hits Calliope with… The Odyssey! Robbie Thompson was VIBING when he was writing this episode, I’m telling you!

Okay so now going back to my main point. Supernatural epic has a very distinct tragic tone. The Absent Father does return like Odysseus (end of S1) but he can’t stay (beginning of S2): in order for the Adventure to continue The Father must die (unlike the Odyssey where Father and Son unite to defeat the enemy and Return to The Ordinary World Together). After all, this is not The Odyssey, it’s The Telemachy where The Hero is not The Father but The Son.

So know let’s talk about The Son. The Epic Hero in Supernatural is Sam Winchester. He’s the one marked at birth by the story, aka The Special Kid with Psychic Powers of S2. This is the second half of the “Challenges and temptations” phase of the Hero’s Journey culminating with The Revelation and the subsequent Death&Rebirth. Sam will have to go through this cycle a lot because his own role commands it. He has to face the Abyss and then come out of it otherwise the story can’t progress. Occasionally, he’ll have to step outside the Special World into the Ordinary World (The Normal Life) even though he has not completed all the stages because the story needs to reboot and if The Hero goes back to the Ordinary World having completed all the stages then the story is over. This is why after 15 (FIFTEEN!) season it might feel (or, as I should say, I feel because people here largely disagree) that Sam’s arc is.. well, not exactly something that varies over time. It’s not the character’s fault: he’s just drawn that way (because the show refused to let go of this trite and old Hero’s Journey cycle but this is a topic for another time, hello Chuck, ya basic!). So Sam, The Son. S3 Sam faces the challenges of possibly losing his brother so The Quest is trying to save Dean. Of course, this won’t happen (as previously stated, Sam needs a continuous Quest because he’s an Epic Hero) so we’re back at square one in S4-5 with the demon blood, the 66 sigils and, ultimately, Lucifer and the apocalypse.

Sam is the Epic Hero, special by birth, called back to the Adventure by his brother, quick learner, intelligent and warrior-like, overcomer of obstacles, trials and (maybe to a lesser degree lol) temptations and capable of facing the Abyss. I like the fact that he's definitely not The Perfect Hero because his many flaws make him more compelling and fascinating. Speaking of flaws, there's one thing that Sam lacks. Sure, like all characters on every TV show he has a need, a desire AND a fatal flaw. However, there is a fatal flaw and THE fatal flaw: hamartia.

Hamartia is the tragic flaw, the character's very own trait that brings about his very own downfall. How do we know that Sam lacks this very specific trait? Because he never experiences utter and total ruin brought about by his and his own only hands.

However, there is a certain character, the one and only character that dares to "make it up as [he goes]", that committs a huge mistake, and he errs not because of some events, not because of some circumstances, possibly not even because of God's will: he just makes decisions that trigger cosmic consequences...

I wonder who could it be...

[hatsunevitu]

okay this might seem like a lil bit controversial topic but please imagine tfbw but if cartman knew what fancervice and queerbait meant. like. are you really telling me he wouldn’t use it to get more fans and attention and money? please. so i strongly believe he’d make kyle participate in this shit with him to get more profit, and when kyle found out about new romantic-ish scenes between human kite and racoon that cartman had just written into the script for human kite’s movie… kyle’d get completely furious so he went to cartman’s basement and tried to make a scene.

(also i know i can’t call super craig a side character but i believe kyle actually thinks that the main characters are the racoon and human kite. no offense to craig tho. oh and just in case: i do not support queerbaiting!!)

k: Fatass!

c: What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at home reading your script!

k: I did read the script! And what the hell are all those scenes you’ve added? They make no sense!

c: Do not question my narrator’s talent, jew. I’m the one who’s in charge of writing, your task is to memorise it and worship me for all my hard work.

k: Really? Oh, really? “Hard work”, you say? What is this fucking moment, you fat piece of shit?

c: Which one, Kahl? Please, elaborate.

k: “The Racoon is on the verge of death, fighting for every breath, so Human Kite heroically decides to give him mouth-to-mouth. The camera switches to the reaction of other Friends, but loud sounds of CPR can be heard behind the scenes”.

c: Pretty dramatic, huh? I really outdid myself, didn’t I?

k: The whole new script is full of this shit! What’s the matter, Cartman?

c: You know, just decided to make your movie more inclusive and… spicy. Are you against it?

k: Yes! Yes, I am against it, I don’t want to participate in this! There are so many actually homosexual people and by doing this you erase them. That is wrong, unethical and also it’s freaking gay!

c: A-huh. So did I get it correctly, Kahl, that you don’t want to make our characters closer ‘cause that is in your opinion, and I quote, “gay”? What are you, homophobic?

k: Knock it off! Stop twisting my words, that is not what I said!

c: Then I see no reasons to reject my offer, Kyle.

k: It’s just so inappropriate and wrong!

c: What’s wrong about two male characters being close and emotionally attached to each other?

k: Everything! If it’s me and you – everything is wrong! Where’s the catch, Fatass? I will not believe for a single minute that you’re doing it for inclusion of minorities.

c: …Well, okay. I guess… I guess it is time for you to learn this.

k: Learn what? What are you talking about, Cartman?

c: Have you ever heard the word “queerbaiting”, Kyle?

k: Uh… no. What’s that?

c: Let me start with another question. Who do you think is the most popular character in Racoon and Friends?

k: Um-m-m… I don’t know, probably you?

c: Wrong! It’s not me, Kahl. And wipe that smirk off your face, ‘cause it’s not you either.

k: Then who?

c: Super Craig.

k: What? This can’t be… You’re the main character, he can’t be more popular than you or me! It makes no sense!

c: That’s what I thought! When I first saw the character popularity rank I started thinking… Where was my mistake? How is it possible for a side character like Super Craig to be more popular than me and you? Is it his character design? His backstory? His role in the plot? I was seeking for answers for hours until I finally realised…

k: Realised what? Come on, stop wasting my time!

c: Patience, Kyle, patience. It’s the most important trait for a superhero. So, let me continue. The main reason of popularity when it comes to Netflix… The reason why everyone loves Super Craig so much… The gayness, Kyle.

k: …Huh?

c: That’s right, you heard it correctly. The gayness. Homosexual orientation immediately makes a male character more attractive to fans.

k: …That’s stupid.

c: No, Kahl! There can be no mistake! I looked through the popularity rate of Freedom Pals and guess who the most favorite is there?

k: No way…

c: Yes way, Kahl! It’s fucking Wonder Tweek! The one with the most lousy backstory I’ve ever seen! The fans are completely in love with his cute little dramatic breakup with his boyfriend. Can you imagine it?!

k: Wow… That’s…

c: I understand how shocked you are now, but that’s not the end. Then I’ve heard the term “queerbaiting” and that is so goddamn genius, man, you’ll just love it! It’s when two dudes, who are not directly said to be homosexuals, show some gay hints here and there.

k: So?..

c: Don’t you get it, Kyle? It’s just hints! You don’t have to *actually* be gay, the fans will just fill the blanks themselves! It saves a lot of troubles with homophobes and laws in foreign countries, but you can still make money on gay jokes! That’s sweet, dude!

k: Wait, and do you expect people to actually buy it?

c: …Who are the most popular rivals in DC?

k: Batman and Joker?

c: Who are the most popular characters themselves?

k: …Batman and Joker. Dude… what the fuck?…

c: See? Told you!

k: So you want us to be gay so we become the most liked ones?

c: Yes, if you put it simple.

k: That’s… kind of messed up.

c: Oh my god, we won’t be *really* gay. Just… hints or something.

k: O-okay… Just to be clear: there won’t be any weird moments we have to actually take part in, will there?

c: What do you mean?

k: Like… um… I don’t know, some too-gay shit like holding hands or really kissing?

c: I will hope so. Believe me, Kahl, I like it no more than you do.

k: Well… Are you sure they’ll all like it?

c: Totally!

k: Oh, god, I feel like there is some kind of a trap, but…

c: Think about money, Kyle. The large, unthinkable pile of money and fame for just small scenes with some remotely gay-ish dialogues. That thought must calm your little jewish soul.

k: …Just so you know, I still fucking hate you. And I’m doing it only because I don’t think it’s right for a side character to be more popular than the main ones.

c: Whatever makes you sleep at night, Kyle. Whatever makes you sleep at night…

[pokesmashorpokepass]

Gen VI, Complete!

You read that correctly, we've made it through PokeFrance (Official term for Kalos, honest!) and have compiled the data!

With that said, let us begin the usual look at this generations...

Sultans of Smash!

(Which is just my fancy way of saying they got more "Smash" than "Pass" votes)

So come with me on this fabulous journey in smashing! Our Smashables are (under the Read More because, you know, this gonna take a while):

1. So for this generation, we do have three starters on the list! But, sadly, Chesnaught couldn't make it. So for our first starter, we instead have our second middle evolution, Braixen! Suppose it's not hard to see why, everyone loves magical girls and Braixen certainly counts! Counts enough to get a 66.4% Smash rating, which is pretty good says I.

2. But far surpassing Braixen is the greatest of Pokemon fire mages, Delphox! And when I say surpass, I mean really surpasses! Delphox has the honor of being the first Starter Pokemon to make it into the Gods of Smash, with a mighty 80.9% Smash rating! There's no stopping the magic of this witch! ...Side note, I think I will be naming my next Delphox "Browser", because she's a Firefox. (Ba-Dum-Tss)

3. Similar to the samurai, ninja have long been one of the more interesting mainstays of Japanese pop culture (especially abroad), and are almost always popular. So it's understandable that Pokemon's own ninja, Greninja, would have their fair share of friends and admirers! And with a smash rating of 72.5% in Standard Form, god damn what fans they have! The Ash-Greninja form, while not quite as popular Standard Form, also makes it in with a 52% Smash rating! Looks like not even a ninja of this calibur can hide how smashable they are.

4. This next Pokemon has a pretty accurate name. Florges, a combination of "Flower" and Gorgeous", certainly describes them pretty well if you ask me! And judging by that solid 67.8% Smash rating she's earned herself, I'd say many of y'all agree!

5. Everyone knows the "Jerk with a Heart of Gold" character archetype, and the closely related "Bruiser with a Soft Center". And it cannot be understated that these character archetypes are super popular. So of course, combining them into a single Pokemon and making that Pokemon a panda? Instant recipe for success, I'm sure! And said Pokemon exists in the form of Pangoro! Are they loved? I dunno, let's ask that 67.9% Smash rating of theirs. ...Survey says yes.

6. Many of us love cats, but often wish it was easier to understand them (or at the very least make ourselves understood to them). Fortunately for the Pokemon universe, they do have cats that can understand us and be more easily understood in the form of the psychic Meowstic! Coming in at 68.1% Smashable for Female Meowstic and 59.3% Smashable for Male Meowstic, it seems some of y'all really appreciate these cats! ...Now if only Female Meowstic didn't tend to fall into the French/Kalosian stereotype of being kind of a jerk (according to the Pokedex, anyways)

7. If there's two things I've seen a number of tumblr users like, it's tentacles and hypno stuff. So with that in mind, Malamar having both makes it very unsurprising they've gained entry to the Sultans of Smash! That said, at a 51.7% Smash rating, I have to admit I expected larger numbers. But anyways... Wait wha- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOSQUID.

8. It's a tale as old as time, people look at the Tyrannosaurus Rex as a kid and think "That's them, that's the coolest fucking dinosaur ever!" While some move on or get different favorite dinosaurs, for some that passion never fades. And that passion for the majestic t.Rex, it seems, translates itself onto Tyrantrum! And at 53% Smashability, seems this king will have no reason to go on a tantrum. (Thank god, I don't think we could handle the repair bills to the property if they did...)

9. The Aurora Borealis has fascinated humans since they've first been able to observe that wondrous display of light. Thankfully for those of us who don't live in polar regions, the color-changing sails of Aurorus can help capture the beauty of such a natural phenomenon! Certainly, many of you have expressed a desire to admire this Pokemon up close and personal, if that 65.9% smash rating is any indication! Though really, the ice crystals and geometric patterns on their scales also do a lot for the appeal of this cool customer.

10. Attention everyone, it is once again Real Eeveelution Hours! And for this list's Eeveelution, we have everyone's favorite walking trans flag, Sylveon! With their extendable ribbons, piercing blue eyes, and 69.3% Smash rating, it seems Sylveon continues the time-honored Eeveelution tradition of being absolutely smashable!

11. Hear me out here, what if snails and slugs were also... Dragons? If your answer to learning this was "Oh fuck yeah that sounds awesome!", then I have Good News! This Snail/Slug Dragon I proposed is a thing in the form of Goodra, with Kalosian Goodra being more slug-like and Hisuian Goodra being more snail-like! However people like them though, considering Kalosian Goodra has a 71.4% Smash rating and Hisuian Goodra has a 61.6% rating, it's clear people do like these dragons quite a bit.

12. It may not be Halloween, but for many of us there's always time for Jack-o'-Lanterns! And with Gourgeist, the next Pokemon on our list, you can have a jack-o'-lantern that can also be smashed, something a number of you want if that 50.4% Smash rating is any indication!

13. And next up on the list, we have a noisy one! Ever wondered what would happen if bats could be loud enough to shatter anything by yelling at it? Well, if Noivern and their 68% Smash rating is any indication, the answer is "People would want to smash it!" Though really, looking at them, I can safely say you'd have to be blind as a bat to not see the appeal. Sorry, the pun had to be made.

14. I'm gonna be honest, I tried thinking long and hard on how to be crafty with my statement regarding this next one, but I just can't do it. I'd need more than one lifetime to make something fitting enough for this majestic deer! Fortunately, Xerneas can give one all the time in the world they need to think of stuff! And judging by that 66.5% Smash rating, I think a few of y'all have a few ideas on what to do with all the time Xerneas' immortality will give you...

15. But where there's life, there must, sadly, be death. Fortunately, death is this case is the very cool looking Yveltal, who has achieved an impressive 63.5% Smash rating! Seems that for some of y'all, "Death comes for you" has a different meaning...

16. Balance is an important part of any ecosystem. Too much death and you have no ecosystem, but too much life and you risk one particular part of that ecosystem overwhelming the rest. Fortunately, to prevent this from happening, Zygarde is here! And judging by how 50% Forme has a 52.3% Smash rating and Complete Forme has a 61.2% Smash rating, I'd say a number of you wish to show Zygarde your appreciation.

17. Diamonds are great. They're shiny, they're stupidly hard to damage, and they can come in a variety of colors! And that's just in our universe, the Pokemon universe is lucky and has Diancie, a living diamond Pokemon! And if Standard Form's 56.1% Rating and Mega Diancie's 65.3% rating is any indication, Diancie also adds "Very smashable" to the list of good diamond traits!

18. And for the finale, I present to you... Another Pokemon who only had an alternate form get in? Yep! It's Hoopa, the genie in a bottle Pokemon! Specifically, it's Hoopa Unbound, who makes it in with a 55.6% Smash rating! And with his rings, they'll show you the wo- Eh? What? Copyright law?! Damn it! Ok my lawers just advised me to not finish that joke, so sadly I can't leave y'all on the Aladdin reference. But I can say that considering Hoopa has a history of stealing treasure with their rings, I'm beginning to suspect some of y'all have a thing for Pokemon with criminal tendencies...

And thus is the Gen VI Who's Who of Smashing concluded, bringing us up to 136 Sultans of Smash! Well then let's see what's next... Gen VII? Oh man, we've got some choice Sultans of Smash incoming...!

[sunlightandsuffering]

My favorite part of switch is erens pov when he just cant control himself even when mikasa is doing absolutely nothing. In general, eren trying to control his urges is so hot in every au like man is gritting his teeth thinking unholy stuff, barely manages to keep his hands to himself and then just going for it is just tooo satisfying to read. I mean i love mikasas povs too but erens povs are always so unhinged and borderline obsessive I often end up wishing for erens pov in literaly every fic

omg ur like me, whenever I read fics I LOVE Eren's POV or even just the guy's POV it's refreshing and I love the jealousy and emotions you get to experience reading both POV's. Like ugh, even in manga, my fave is Ao Haru Ride, and I love reading from both Kou and Futaba's POV bc i'm like U IDIOT WIN HER BACK! But then in her POV i'm like omg yes make him jealous girl, it's kind of fun lol!

But writing male POV is wild, it's fun, but it's also difficult bc I'm a girl so obviously Mikasa's POV comes easier and more natural, especially during smut, I feel like it's easier to write sometimes from Mikasa's POV than Eren's lol!.

bUT I TOTALLY GET WHAT U MEAN! Eren is hot, especially if he's written correctly, ur so right that he can just become unhinged and fucking go off bc that's 11/10 in his character arc, this is the mans who lowkey had a little temper tantrum at the idea that MIkasa would forget about him!! MANS COULD EASILY BE FERAL!! AND I LOVE TO BE A PART OF THAT! Here let's give u some thirsty Eren lmfao!

With Christmas comes baking and well, fortunately or perhaps unfortunately for Eren Mikasa absolutely loves to bake.  Which means cookies and sweets galore. In the past week since Christmas break began, she’s made biscotti, short bread, sugar cookies, white chocolate cranberry cookies, and even his favourite, chocolate haystacks. 

So currently, Eren is battling his desires on two fronts: the desire to binge her entire tray of freshly baked short bread, and the desire to lay her out on the counter while they wait for them to cook and lick the icing off of her cheek himself.  Instead of doing either of those things, Eren sits himself down on one of their barstools, placing his hands firmly in his lap and carefully tells her about the icing on her cheek.  “Oh, thanks Eren,” Mikasa beams, wiping the sugary substance off with her thumb, before licking it up just like he wanted to. He’s jealous, so very jealous, especially as her pink tongue darts out for another taste, suckling the whole digit between her lips. She tops it all off with these cute little noises of satisfaction, her eyes shut tight as she tastes the fruit of her labours.  “Yummy,” she tells him before going back to stirring up her bowl of chocolate where she’s currently trying to make hot chocolate balls, her next baking experiment.  So, not only does the kitchen smell heavenly, there is also melted chocolate and icing everywhere. 

He should leave, he really needs to leave.  His gym bag has been sitting ready to go in the hallway for a half an hour now and yet he’s still no closer to leaving. In fact, with every batch of cookies and treats Mikasa makes his motivation actually decreases. 

The timer on the oven beeps and Mikasa gives him an excited smile as she goes to pull out her next creation, her beloved gingerbread.  She carefully places the trays on top of the oven to cool, leaving the door propped open for a moment, a wave of heat assaulting her. 

“So hot,” Mikasa complains before taking the opportunity to strip off her third layer of clothing today, her little green Christmas sweater, leaving her only in her sports bra.  And this is what he means by his motivation being sapped with every batch, because when he first walked by, she was wearing his hoodie on top and a pair of sweat pants. And now, now she’s got nothing on but spandex, a sports bra that barely covers her tits, and a cute little apron that’s going to be the subject of all of his fantasies tonight.  She stretches her arms over her head, yawning as she gently kicks the oven door shut, “I’m getting tired.”  “You’ve been baking all day Mikasa, you can take a break.”  He needs her to take a fucking break or he’s never going to be able to leave, he was supposed to meet Armin at the gym a half an hour ago. 

Mikasa hums, “It’s okay, that was my last batch, I just need to finish off these hot chocolate balls.”  She beams at him, giving him a small smile as she comes back to her chocolate work station, “I’m going to make one for everyone Aunt Carla and Uncle Grisha and my family too! And maybe even Sasha and Armin if I have extra.” 

He's not going to make it through. 

[phoenixkaptain]

You know I read that Doyle apologized (allegedly) to Mormons for writing a really demonizing story about them, and while I was listening to said demonizing story, I couldn’t help but think “oh, yes, I must search these, or I shall be led astray” (don’t look at me, my speech patterns tend to match the books I’m reading, stop looking at me)

So, I looked up things like Mormons having a subsection that existed just to exile/murder/intimidate people (which did exist, but Brigham Young claimed he disbanded it), Mormons kidnapping their wives (I can’t find any proof for it, but all the proof against it is just “people are too hard on these guys” and I’m sorry but it is impossible to be too hard on Utah-based Mormons. You have not met a real bastard until you’ve met a stuck-up, pretentious Mormon who hails from the land of Utah), people who tried to leave the religion mysteriously vanishing (proof would be hard to find for this one anyway, because they could have just claimed it was a bear attack or an attack from the natives or some settlers on their way to California, and who would doubt them???) etc. etc.

A lot of the results were inconclusive at best. Which is perfectly fine, honestly. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle didn’t have an internet connection and access to the broadest encyclopedia in history, and apparently he got most of his information from reading papers on Mormons. It’s fine that he got things wrong. You can’t be led astray and think that this belittles or lessens the absolute horror I felt while reading parts of the story because of how terrifying and disgusting it is, from my own perspective.

So, when the main character, John Ferrier, is visited by the man himself, Brigham Young, I thought to myself, “Doyle didn’t even ever meet this man once. If there are discrepancies, that’s fine. I’ll just search them up, correct my knowledge, prove that my biases towards Mormons are really unfounded and-“

BRIGHAM YOUNG SAID THAT IF MORMONS DIDN’T PRACTICE POLYGAMY, THEY WOULD BE DAMNED TO HELL.

(From Wikipedia, with references to a book: “Brigham Young said that any male member of the church who was commanded to practice polygamy and refused would be damned.” You can actually borrow the book this quote is sourced to from, oh, Brigham Young University)

Brigham Young said that. Brigham Fucking Young fucking said that. This man has a fucking university named after him. He’s one of the most famous Mormons in history for saying “This is the place” when he came across a valley. When he threatened, in the novel, that John Ferrier had to marry off his daughter or else him not taking a wife meant he wasn’t a real Mormon, I thought it was wrong. I thought it was made up. I thought it was just a silly little thing people made up. I thought it was a goof, a gaff, poppycock.

I make no secret of my biases towards Mormons. Specifically, I find fault in those Latter-Day Saints who place their roots in Utah, the main hive, as it were. And don’t get me wrong; Utah has improved greatly in the past hundred years. Mormons are still the majority, but there are immigrants from other states and other countries, which gives me hope that maybe one day, there will be no children bullied in school because they don’t practice a bogus religion “correctly” at the age of seven. Just a small hope of mine.

I can’t tell you that Mormons are all bad people. Such a thing is impossible. Those children born into families that ask them to study scripture every night, is it really their fault? All religions call themselves “the correct religion,” so I can only assume that the problem of bullying and slandering is prevalent for all who don’t practice the same religion as the majority, when that majority controls the land. I’ve met many people who practice Mormonism who are genuinely good and kind. I’ve met just as many who would watch a child be mocked and laughed at just because that child was not one of them.

Did Mormons have a rough history? Yes. Was it majorly, almost entirely the fault of the religious leaders themselves? Also yes. What did they think would happen when they took over towns and put small shops out of business? What did they expect when all of the members voted for the same person, making it impossible for people living in that place to make their opinion known? The people drafted into the might not have knowingly done wrong, but I just can’t believe that liars as good as the likes of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young didn’t know exactly what they were doing.

So, is this story, taking place in A Study in Scarlet, demonizing to an unrealistic extreme? Of course. Such is fiction. But was everything in the story wrong?

No.

Unfortunately, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle got at least one fact correct.

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Can I request for Ei/baal, Yae miko, and Sara with an S/O who is wife material? Y'know how thoma is a great attendant and male wife and were kinda the same? Like we dote on them constantly?

Them with a s/o that's spouse material

characters: Yae Miko/Ei/Kujou Sara x gn!reader(seperate)

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: I hope I did it correctly, even though I'm a bit worried that it might have turned into something more considered as a general "living with them" fic, but I guess it should be okay.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Yae Miko

You were what could be considered the perfect partner for Yae. You were easy to talk to, could cook fried tofu like no other and liked reading as much as her. But you were also easily embarrassed and so not even your seemingly perfect nature could protect you from her teasing. Instead, the fox envoy managed to somehow find a way to tease you about it. But once her mocking would end, the two of you would just sit next to each other in comfortable silence, reading whatever new, promising novel Yae had brought home from her publishing house that day.

Yae was sitting at the couch, slowly eating the fried tofu you made her while reading a book you had never seen before, which wasn’t unusual for her, since was one of the first persons to get access to new releases. When you walked over to her and looked over her shoulder to see what she was reading, she instead turned around to face you, her face far too near to yours, causing you to blush a little even though you already lived together.

“Do you need something, little bird?”, her sudden use of nicknames caught you completely off guard and caused you to blush even more. You leaned away from her, somehow feeling that if held your distance, she wouldn’t be able to see the redness of your face, only to notice her wearing the same kind of smile she always did before starting to tease you.

“I-I just wanted to ask what you were reading”, you eventually managed to form a complete sentence after scrambling for words, relaxing when seeing Yae’s smile change to a genuine one.

“Since the fried tofu you made was so good, I guess I could show you”, she said before signalling you to take a seat next to her.

Ei

Even though Ei had a lot of people working for her for the sole reason of making her food or cleaning the different rooms, she couldn’t help but feel a nice warmth in her chest whenever the dish she was eating was made from you or knew that you where the one that cleaned the room she entered. But with every good thing came some bad ones and every time she put her shoes on the wrong spot or forgot to put her plate away, you weren’t shy about lecturing her, the literal archon of Inazuma, about it. And even though she expected herself to feel annoyed by it, she couldn’t help but smile about your typical behaviour whenever it happened.

Like every day after work, both you and Ei found yourself eating the food you made together and chatted simply chatted about your days. When both of you finished eating, Ei stood up and wanted to prepare herself to go roam the streets of Inazuma with you, only to freeze when she felt your stare on her. When she looked back to you and noticed you signal to the empty plate, she mentally slapped herself before putting it away and instantly seeing you begin to smile. She was used to people doing all those little things for her, but you always seemed happy with her, when she did it herself.

“How was the food?”, you asked, clearly knowing the answer already but wanting to hear her praise you anyway. When she eventually did compliment your cooking skills, you jumped up from your seat and quickly put your own plate away.

“That’s good to hear. Have you heard of the new sweets-store opening?”, you asked her and when she shook her head slightly, you grabbed her hand before looking at her once again. “Do you want to visit it?”, you didn’t have to wait long for her answer and when she predictively said yes, you started leading her into the direction of the shop.

Kujou Sara

Sara came back home exhausted most of the days, so having someone that made most of the household chores in her absence was a huge relief. She of course would try helping as much as she could, but you often forced her to just sit down and relax. You would cook for her and let her tell you about her day if she wanted to. Sometimes Sara wondered if you were real or if she had fallen into a deep coma and was dreaming about your whole existence, but even if that was the case, she wouldn’t want to wake up.

Once you heard the door to your home open, you instantly went to greet Sara with a hug. There was a time when she would get completely stiff whenever you as much as touched her hand, but after being together for quite a while, she would simply lean into you after a tiring day, leaving it to you to drag her to the couch so she could promptly collapse onto it. And just like those other days, the same thing happened today too.

“How was your day?”, you asked even though the answer was obvious for both of you. But she still responded, at least she tried to, but when Sara realised that she would have to actually open her mouth for words to come out of it, she let out a small groan before doing so anyways.

“Tiring”, was all that she answered before closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. You instantly stood up and walked to the kitchen, causing Sara to look up at you with an irritated face. “Where are you going?”, she asked in barely more than a whisper.

“I’m going to make you something to eat, so just stay there and relax”, you told her and even though she felt the small urge to argue about letting you do the work alone, she was far to tired to actually say something. Instead, she simply closed her eyes and thanked the Archons for letting her meet you.

[cloudy-leonhart]

I JUST READ YOUR VETERANS WITH FILIPINO S/O AND IM SO PROUD WCEIWVEHHW, can i also request a veteran reaction to like, their s/o gets flirted with a guy and their s/o is totally oblivious. (also, nanaba is very cute, ate nana 😭✊)

wait but this is such a good request 🥺 maybe that’s just me, I like jealous headcanons lmao-

———

AOT VETERANS JEALOUS HCS WITH OBLIVIOUS S/O!!

[author note: I have a few fic requests in my inbox rn! Please dw if u requested a fic, it takes me a little longer to write fics than headcanons so please don’t think I’m ignoring your request! I also had to rewrite this, I had a bad weekend and tumblr keeps deleting my drafts but I still want to provide for my followers, so I apologize that it’s only half of the veterans! I’ll add Nanaba and Moblit once I do get the motivation too! ]

Summary: S/O get’s flirted with, vets are big jealous babies.

Gender Neutral Reader.

Recommended Song: How Long - Charlie Puth.

TW: some swearing, suggestive themes, yucky boys hitting on you.

Theme: Fluff, canonverse.

Characters: Erwin, Hange, Levi, Miche.

Erwin Smith

Honestly even he couldn’t tell at first that the noble man (lets call him, Gene.) you were talking to was flirting with you.

You were absolutely oblivious, you think Gene is just having a conversation with you and Gene thinks you like him.

When Erwin notices it, at first he’s like “hmm, maybe Reader’s talking business with him.” And then Gene kissed the back of your hand, in which he felt his eye twitching. He started pouting really bad, he looked like a kicked puppy from across the ballroom. He didn’t want to be rude, so he kept reassuring himself that it was a friendly gesture.

You were absolutely clueless, like “this is fine.” clueless. You had no idea Gene was trying his hardest to court you. Until You felt Erwin behind you, that is.

You know those big coughs that you do to get someone’s attention. Yeah, Erwin coughed REALLY loud. Mind you, Erwin probably towers most nobles. So imagine the face on Gene when he saw this tall, titan-slaying commander towering over him. I think he almost peed his pants honestly, he was like “uh..it was nice meeting you, miss Last name, but uh..I- I uhm.. Igottago-“

Yeah he speed-walked his scared ass outta there, you were kinda just like “what?” You saw Erwin’s shadow and just turned around with the cutest smile on your face.

“Erwin!” You chirped, he softened his glare on the noble and looked at you, cue his pout coming back. “You really didn’t know?”

“Know what?” You asked, walking with him, hand in hand. You guys were walking back to your carriage to go home for the night.

“Reader, he was flirting with you, quite literally trying to court you.” Erwin groaned, his jealousy starting to show. You were still a bit confused, so you just stared at him with a blank expression.

“He was just being nice Erwin, come on.” You nudged his arm, trying to get him to loosen up, he looked at you, in which you looked at him with puppy dog eyes, in response he groaned, being a sucker for your puppy dog eyes.

He huffed, “you’re staying back at the headquarters from now on.” Your eyes widened slightly, “What?! Why?!” You shook him arm. “Because I don’t want you being flirted with, you’re mine reader, and I’m yours.” Erwin squished your cheeks together.

“Owf Cwouse I’m youws-“ you took his hands off your cheek. “You’re the only man for me,” you laughed as you entered the carriage.

“Now get in, I’m feeling a little empty inside and you’re the only who can fix that.”

Levi Ackerman

Oh dear, if you’re willing to flirt with the Levi Ackerman’s S/O, you’re basically asking for a death wish.

He usually isn’t too jealous when it comes to someone flirting with his S/O genuinely because he’s either busy doing something or he isn’t there at all but...

He’s not called Humanity’s Strongest for nothing. Both of you were in charge for training the cadets. You were known for your kind behaviour, so obviously a lot of the cadets would ask for your training.

In which Levi was okay with because, duh less work for him. He was doing fine until he glanced at you and saw a male cadet getting a little too close. (calling him, Sam.)

You guys were in a secret relationship at the time, he didn’t want anyone teasing you or him about anything so both of you kept it a secret.

See, he regrets that decision right now because it’s really a pain in the ass to see Sam acting like he doesn’t know the moves when he knows damn well he taught the brat those moves a week ago.

So with a clenched jaw, he glared at Sam as you were behind the cadet, teaching him the same move Levi taught him.

Levi looked across the field to see you behind Sam, helping him strike his punch correctly, he felt angered and a little jealous, watching you be so touchy with him.

He sighed and shook his head, trying to calm himself to keep him from doing something, that is until he watched as Sam tripped you just so he could “catch” you. He caught you in those romantic poses.

You weren’t really paying attention to what he was trying to achieve and instead thanked him, unaware of his plan to kiss you. You tried to get out of Sam’s hold, until you realized that Sam was getting close to you.

You were about to start freaking out until someone pulled you into their arms, you looked at your “saviour”’s face, seeing it’s Levi. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to a section commander, cadet?” Sam gulped, walking back. “Just making sure captain Reader’s okay, captain Levi.” Sam saluted, sweating profusely.

“That requires you tripping them and almost kissing them?” Levi’s eyebrow raised as his arm tightened against your waist, that’s when a lightbulb lights up in your mind, ‘Is..is Levi jealous??’ “uh well-” Sam tried to explain himself, “I taught you this move last week, you have no excuse to ask for captain Reader’s help.”

A scowl was long planted on Levi’s face. Sam scoffed, “Okay, so I wanted to court captain Reader, but Sir, they’re single, you can’t blame for wanting to court them.” Levi took a step forward, you prevented him from beating Sam up.

“They’ve got a boyfriend.” He spat out, basically death staring Sam down. “And who’s that?” Sam laughed out.

Levi clicked his tongue, before you knew it, Levi’s lips were on yours. “Me.” He stated.

Hange Zöe

Hange, they usually are chill most of the times, to be honest they don’t get too jealous, it’s only when it’s painfully obvious, that’s when it starts to tick them off.

I mean, making Levi Ackerman mad is one thing, but Hange?? I’m already planning your funeral. One of the corps’ rules, never ever make Hange Zöe mad.

It does not help when their S/O absolutely is oblivious. 

Hange starts off with being a little skeptical and glancing at you from afar. then it becomes a stare once in a while, and then their mood gets soiled.

they start to become irritated, at this one garrison squad member (let’s name him Avery) talking with you. You should actually be helping them with their experiments.

And they snap when they see you being offered a flower.

Little clueless Reader, just confirmed Avery’s death, it’s been signed this point on.

You could hear AND feel Hange’s stomps nearing both you and Avery.

God help the poor garrison member, because they’re about to be sent to heaven with how jealous and irritated Hange is.

“Hey, Avery.” Hange’s voice cut through your guys’ conversation, “Hange!” you chirped, holding onto the flower Avery had gifted you. “Hange! You’ve met Reader here right?” Avery asked, also unaware of Hange’s attitude.

“yes, they’re actually my partner.” Hange’s teeth was gritted as they took their rightful place beside you, pulling you close. Cue the awkward silence, “Oh my god, Hange I’m so sorry, I thought they were you know-” Hange didn’t even let him finish. 

“Just get the fuck out, Avery.” Hange gave him a glare that almost made Avery shit his pants. “Yes captain!” He saluted and left before Hange could murder him. “What was that about, Hange?” You asked as they took the flower out of your hand.

“He was courting you, and you were letting him, darling.” Hange stated, as you covered your mouth with your hand, “Oh! I’m sorry Hange! Darn it, I’m so oblivious.” You scolded yourself.

“It’s good you can still remember that you belong to me.” Hange continued, inspecting the flower gifted to you. “Of course, you only, Hange.” You agreed, looking at them. 

“Wanna prove it to me then, Reader?”

Miche Zacharias

Miche is kind of like a grizzly bear, you should never be around him when he’s mad or jealous. 

He tends to be more aggressive when it comes to him being irritated, I don’t mean to headcanon him as a wolf, but I know he just growls when a little thing goes wrong.

He’s possessive over you now, but now he’s basically just suffocating you with his over-protectiveness.

I feel as if he can tell when someone has some kind of weird scent, and it basically spoils everything he can smell.

He tends to hover around you once he gets jealous, he’ll get clingy and probably need to have you touching him somehow, holding hands, side by side. He just needs to be touching you.

He’s the type of person to also just, push away who ever you’re talking with, and just drag you away. 

One time, you and him went on a date and the person who worked there hit on you right in front of him, Miche made him almost piss his pants.

Miche and you were out at an event for survery corps members, celebrating your recent successes with your latest expedition. Miche was with Erwin and Levi while you chatted up a storm with a noble named Walter. 

Miche could feel himself about to break his glass, watching you and Walter laugh together. “So, are you seeing anyone?” Walter asked, you stopped laughing, shocked that he’d ask you that question out of nowhere.

“What?-” At this point Walter had a hold of both of your hands, you were absolutely still in place, “Actually don’t mind that, can I court you?” A big smile was on Walter’s face, wondering about your answer. “I-” 

“You actually can’t, they have a boyfriend.” Miche had long appeared behind you, towering over both you and Walter. You closed your eyes, in a bit of relief, “Yes, this is Miche, he’s a section commander and my boyfriend.” You smiled, hooking your hand with Miche’s, silently hoping that Walter would leave you both alone.

“Ah, I’m terribly sorry, I thought you didn’t have a partner, that’s my fault.” Walter quickly apologized, seeing how intimidating Miche was. “well, I-..I should go, it was lovey meeting you and your boyfriend, Reader.” Walter speed-walked his way out of his situation, leaving you with a pouty and jealous Miche. 

“Why talk to those who look like they have it tiny, Reader?”

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Grand Premier

Summary: Barely in Paris and Kagami is already expected to rub elbows with the local elites. Specifically, one Adrien Agreste. At least he dresses better than his father.

---------------------

Kagami didn't want to be here.

"This is an important deal for our company's expansion into France, Kagami," Tomoe Tsurugi reminded her in Japanese. "Be polite with Adrien Agreste."

"Yes, Mother." Kagami would play her role to perfection. Even if it was at the premier of a mediocre movie.

"And if the young Agreste isn't polite I hear he fences at the same school we're enrolling you in."

Kagami didn't smile. No, not at all. And if she did there were no witnesses. "Yes, Mother."

Keeping her usual stoic expression as the parasites, pardon, the paparazzi used flash photography in her face Kagami walked down the red carpet. Arm extended for her Mother.

Gabriel was just as tedious as she imagined him and wearing the ugliest suit Kagami had ever seen. And she'd seen ugly yakuza suits in person. At least Adrien's all black suit was suitable for a family in the fashion industry.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tsurugi Kagami," the blond boy greeted in heavily accented Japanese. A polite smile on his face as he bowed slightly. "Welcome to Paris. My name is Adorian Aguresuto."

Kagami raised an eyebrow. That didn't sound right.

Eyes widening as he realized his slip up and- Wow, those were expressive eyebrows. -hand going to rub the back of his head as a faint blush painted his cheeks. "I mean Aguresuto Adorian! I, yup..." Suddenly self-conscious Adrien jerked his hand down. Smile nervous but more honest.

Kagami decided to have mercy on him. "Your inflection needs work but the pronunciation is adequate."

His lips twitched. "Adequate?"

"Yes. That is the most accurate description," Kagami stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, then I guess I better ade-quit while I'm ahead," Adrien joked, switching to French.

She could pinpoint the second Adrien noticed what his mouth had said (seemingly without permission) by the way his rosy cheeks went into full bloom. Kagami was fairly certain she was interpreting that expression correctly. "I see why you learned, Japanese."

Apparently deciding her impression of him was already ruined, Adrien forged ahead. "Anime has some impressive puns. I couldn't resist."

Kagami's perfect posture straightened ever so slightly. "Oh? What kind of anime are you interested in?"

Adrien began listing several shonen. Which, honestly, Kagami should have seen coming. At least it included One Piece. Kagami resisted the urge to proclaim the merits of the completely arbitrary power ranking system unprompted. It just fit the story so well and- No! Focus! What was he saying?

"...but right now I'm reading Fruits Basket."

Ooh! Kagami's self control slipped just a little bit. Her eyes might've lit up even. "Yuki is my favorite character."

Adrien beamed at her. "He's amazing! Torhu's my favorite!"

Kagami glanced at a large poster of the movie. Chat Noir displayed prominently with Ladybug. Oh, right. That was a thing. "I would've thought it'd be Kyo"

"Not all catboys are created equal, Kagami," Adrien stated solemnly before breaking into a grin. "He's my second favorite. I just really like Torhu 'cause she's so kind and selfless and..." Adrien paused. Looking down as he fiddled with a silver ring on his finger. "And she's so brave. After losing her mom like that. I really admire her."

Kagami felt she was missing something. She usually felt that with strangers but it was on the tip of her tongue.

Before Kagami could pinpoint why Adrien's appreciation for Honda Tohru felt the way it did Adrien snapped out of whatever he was in. "Anyway, what about you?"

"I relate a lot to Saiki Kusuo. He has trouble understanding people despite being telepathic." Was that too much? It felt like too much.

Apparently not 'cause Adrien's smile was back. The honest one, not the polite one. "Yeah, it's hard to understand people when they don't say what they mean."

Oh, thank you! "What's worse is when they say things they don't mean. It's very confusing."

"Right!? It'd be so much simpler!"

"..." Kagami was supposed to respond here. She was positive that it was expected. But she didn't have anything she felt like adding at the moment. "... So have you read Fullmetal Alchemist?"

Kagami was positive Adrien was restraining himself from vibrating in excitement. She could tell because his eyes were huge and his grin unrestrained. His enthusiasm making her lips form their own smile. Kagami had never met someone her own age she could tolerate, let alone geek out about the differences between anime and manga adaptations.

Most of the other rich kids Kagami knew acted like that ponytailed girl who thought Kagami couldn't see her glaring from across the room. But she wasn't important.

... Actually, there was something Kagami wanted to know. "I hear you fence."

Suddenly shy again Adrien's hand went back to rubbing his neck. "Uh, yeah. Not to brag but I'm the best fencer on the team."

"Not for long."

"Huh?"

"I'll be coming for that top spot, Adrien," Kagami promised.

Adrien's eyes widened, then a competitive gleam sparked in his eyes. "Looking forward to it," he smirked.

In the end the movie was just as mediocre as Kagami thought it would be. Enjoyable sure, if you ignored all the cliches.

"It's even worse on screen!" Adrien proclaimed cheerfully.

Kagami eyed him as they filed out of the theater. "Aren't you the male lead?"

"Against my protests!" He grinned.

"A pleasure doing business with you Madame Tsurugi," Gabriel Agreste's grating voice said from his assistant's tablet. Kagami amused herself by imagining Gabriel was actually that small in person. "Come along now, Adrien."

"Yes, Father." The open expression was gone. Adrien's demeanor immediately subduing at Gabriel's call. Turning towards her, Adrien gave her a small smile- "I look forward to seeing you at school." -and winked with his whole head.

Kagami's cheeks heated up slightly as she returned his smile. "I won't go easy on you."

Adrien frowned. "Well, of course not. That would defeat the entire purpose of dueling."

Kagami's smile grew wider. "Yes. Yes, it would."

She stared at the passing city through the window as they made their way to their new home. Committing the unfamiliar skyline to memory.

"And how was the young Agreste, Kagami?" Tomoe asked. "Was your interaction fruitful?"

Kagami thought about Adrien's predilection for certain manga tropes, how he'd blundered effortlessly past her walls, the clear eagerness Adrien felt at talking to someone else who gets it. He was... endearing. And Kagami wouldn't mind his company again.

"Yes, Mother." Yes, it was.

----------------------

Notes: Written for the Alternate First Meeting promt of Adrigami Week 2021.

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

I read a bunch of isekai manga of the villainess subgenre so you don't have to!

Bro, procrastinating during finals season looks different for everyone. Ugh... Okay, so I'm going to go through some of the ones that have already been adapted into anime and what I think of them.

Hamefura

Hamefura is the pioneer of this subgenre of a subgenre when it comes to getting an anime adaptation. This show is what taught me that the whole "isekai" and "villainess" genres were not inherently bad if adapted correctly; in fact, they can be quite good! With an enjoyable cast and an amusing setting, this anime is a lot of fun to watch, and it's no wonder that it keeps getting continuations.

Akuyaku Reijou nano de Last Boss wo Kattemimashita

It's not good after episode 5. I went off about it here. Just read the manga or watch the first five episodes and dip. You're not missing anything.

Manga Territory

Akuyaku Reijou no Tsuihougo!

Ah yes, this is the one that started off this rabbit hole of absolute terror. If you want more information about it, I did talk about it here when asking what the reception of it was (in case people really wanted it scanlated). Anyways, it's cheesy and corny, but the voice-over comic sold me on it. I like how they really incorporate her previous life into the decisions she makes, but they should probably explain why she's so dense to romance (or whether she's rebuffing him), in my opinion.

The decision on whether I'd want it scanslated will probably be determined by both reception and how the story moves (because if they ain't together within the next few chapters, I'm leaving. Sayonara losers)

Tensei Majo wa Horobi wo Tsugeru

This one was fun and all, but it felt really standard out of the batch. It also borrows a ton of ideas from Akatsuki no Yona. While it's about as plain as the previous entry, I actually read this one last, so along with the parody, I got this one. Speaking of Akatsuki no Yona, here are some similarities: Special girl has her life turned upside down by a tragic event and has difficulties with trauma. Boy (non-dragon) comes in and takes her to some place different. Dragon boys start showing up and being added to the... what is now a harem I guess. It's like "Hold on. I've got an idea. Akatsuki no Yona mixed with isekai. The girl is a previous hikikomori too." I mean, I will give credit where it's due, the art is good, but I just feel like reading it was just a deja vu experience.

I find it funny how two male leads in media I've consumed recently have identified as "mothers" of the MCs. Does this mean that girls want someone that will essentially be a mom to them?

Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou.

Now this is a good parody, but I'll have to get back to everyone if it ends up keeping my interesting. Unlike all of the other entries, this one doesn't have a huge "plot". It's basically just a girl pining for the villainess of an otome game, and the result is a mushy, corny, cheesy pile of "What the heck? That's cute!" It does exactly what it needs to do, and the art is amusing! I also appreciate the approach of "Imagine having an otome game where you're not interested in the guys but a side character"

Seijo no Hazu ga, Douyara Nottoraremashita

This one was saved for last because it was a darn blast. This one has the weakest, most disproportionate art I've seen in a while in a manga (where frames don't really move). Unlike manga such as Mob Psycho which has an art style that complements the disproportion, this one does not. The characters look like their eyes need to be reoriented sometimes. Or maybe just start again? But man, what it lacks in art it makes up for in story and humour. This may be listed down as a romance, but it takes a good 16-18 chapters to really get going, but it isn't one of those "slow burn" sort of things. It progresses when it wants to progress, and when it doesn't (or even when it does), it will just full-on mock the situation its in with a heroine who reacts in a way that we probably just might. Also, the fake marriage in this one makes a lot of sense from a plot standpoint. Overall, it was enjoyable and stuck out from the rest, but the cover art is extremely misleading (it makes you believe it will be what it is essentially trying to parody sometimes).

I'm looking forward to that villainess anime with the tsundere and whatnot, so I'm going to read that (hence, I'm reading everything else). I was half-asleep when writing this and reading some of these, so this may have skewed my perception.

[bxngchxn]

mutual || h. hyunjin

this is a fic that I have re-uploaded from my old blog, @ethereal-bang . I’ll be reuploading all of my old works here and deleting my old blog soon. hope you enjoy!

request: “maybe some hyunjin + mutual masturbation? bonus points if they’re ‘just friends’”

characters: hyunjin x female reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: smut

warnings: mutual masturbation, dirty talk, slight dom themes

This is intended for mature audiences. Do not read if you are under the age of 18

     ✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧ ✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧ ✧༺♥༻∞　

Okay, this was probably the stupidest decision you had made in awhile. Or rather, the stupidest decision Hyunjin had made that you agreed to. You knew the moment your best friend invited himself over to your apartment for a “movie night”, that there was something going on.

Hyunjin: hey are u busy

You: I mean, not really ? It’s 9pm jinnie

Hyunjin: right ok cool I’m coming over

You: Wait, what? Why?

Hyunjin: you’ll see, be there in five

Your eyes bulge out of your head at his boldness. Regardless, you made sure your apartment was visitor friendly, even though you knew he wouldn’t care. Hyunjin has been your best friend since junior year of high school. Now into your second year of college, the two of you have been through pretty much everything.

True to his word, five minutes later Hyunjin walked into your apartment and dramatically flopped onto your couch. You watched him while you walked into the living room, the blonde haired boy making himself comfortable before turning to you.

“Okay, so why do I have the pleasure of being graced with your presence at this time of night?” You asked, taking a seat next to him. He looked at you weirdly, he was hiding something.

“Look. Just hear me out,” he starts, and alarms immediately go off in your head. “Hwang Hyunjin what did you do?” You ask him, eyes narrowing. Sticking his hands out defensively, he sits up right on the couch. “I didn’t do anything !! I just… so the boys and I were talking about movies today, yeah?” He started. Unsure of where this was going, and why you were involved, you nod your head slowly.

“And there’s this movie, called 365 Days? Have you heard of it?” He asks cautiously.

Yeah, you had heard of it. It was the biggest trend going around right now. Some movie about a guy that meets a woman, kidnaps her and wants her to fall in love with him within a year, and if not she gets to leave. Everything you’ve heard about it has been a mix of cringe and intrigue. The movie is extremely dirty, you’ve heard.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” You say nonchalantly, waiting to see where the conversation takes you. “Ah, well, uh.. Ha-have you seen it?” He looks too embarrassed to look you in the eye. “No, I haven’t, Hyunjin. What does any of this have to do with me?” You question. Hyunjin shifts around in his spot on the couch. “Well, the boys..the b-boys dared me to watch it and I don’t want to watch it alone! Will you please watch it with me? Please?” He says quickly. Your eyes widen, not able to believe that this was the reason he was in your living room.

“Wouldn’t it be weird?!”

“No! Y/N we’ve been friends for so long and it’s not like we’re not comfortable with each other!!” He reasons. “Hyunjin, it’s basically porn!” You laugh, unsure how to correctly convey your emotions. “Look, let’s watch like half of it. You know I can’t back down on a dare, Y/N please,” he begs. You weighed the options. Would it be weird? Maybe a little, but he’s right. You’re comfortable with him. What could go wrong, right? It’s just a movie.

Sighing, you see his face light up in victory. “Fine,” you say and grab the remote, searching for the movie.

Oh boy, were you wrong.

This movie was way more sexual than you had originally thought. Yeah, you had heard the rumors about the infamous Boat Scene, where the main character finally gives in to her male kidnapper and they spend what seems like the entire day absolutely railing each other, but you didn’t think it would be this…graphic.

You were basically sitting on your couch watching softcore porn with your best friend. If someone had told you that this was how you would be spending your night, you’d laugh in their face. But here you are, sitting five feet apart from Hyunjin on the couch, both of you too afraid to make eye contact with each other as the two main characters have yet another round, this time on the front deck of the boat.

You were definitely hot and bothered at this point, how could you not be? You tried to be subtle, shifting back and forth on the couch to try and relieve some of the pressure you were feeling between your thighs. You couldn’t wait for Hyunjin to get out of here so you could take care of it yourself, his presence not helping you in the slightest.

Hyunjin is hot, everyone knows it. His long hair dyed a platinum blonde and always kept in a ponytail, except for tonight he decided to let it hang down around him. You tried taking a glance at him, afraid he’d catch you staring and make the atmosphere even more awkward than it already was.

Hyunjin was having a hard time. Figuratively and literally. He had no clue this movie would be like this!! He heard the rumors just like you had, but he figured that everyone was over exaggerating, wanting to seem cool for watching a “raunchy movie”, but no, they were all spot on. And to make matters worse, he was watching it with you. He had no idea why he decided this would be a good idea. Maybe get some laughs at how terrible the movie is, and then turn it off and order takeout or something? He’s really not sure. But now all he’s thinking about is the fact that there is porn playing on your tv, and your shifting back and forth has not gone unnoticed by him.

Would it really be bad if he…initiated something? It was getting hard to control himself, he could feel his resolve slipping. He knows the movie is doing something to you too, it’s too obvious. Maybe acknowledging it will make the situation less awkward.

Well, you never know till you find out.

Hyunjin can feel his heart beating fast in his chest as he takes a side glance at you. Your eyes are still glued to the screen, most likely due to embarrassment, but partially out of lust. He can see your pupils get larger slightly as you watch the scenes unfolding on tv. You shift your weight once more, and Hyunjin takes a deep breath as he turns to actually face you.

You feel Hyunjin look at you, and you immediately feel embarrassed when you meet his eyes.

Hyunjin almost backs out, but opts to look back at the tv because he cannot make eye contact with you right now. “Well, this movie is…something..” he says quietly, and your face heats up. “Yeah…sure is,” you trail off quietly, unsure what to say. How could he be having a conversation with you right now?

“Look…now just hear me out,” He starts. Those words got you into this predicament, you can only imagine where they’ll take you now. You can still hear the characters moaning on the screen, and you try to block them out and pay attention to Hyunjin.

“We’re both sitting here incredibly turned on, am I wrong?” He starts. You go wide eyed, and the blush already on your cheeks darkens as you realize you weren’t being as discreet as you thought you were. “All I’m saying is, why don’t we…help each other out? I guess?” He says quickly, trying to make it sound like a stupid suggestion. You could clearly see his hard on through his sweat pants, and you thought about it.

“Have you heard of mutual masturbation?” you ask him. Hyunjin almost chokes at hearing those words even leave your mouth. He thought you were going to yell at him, push him out of your apartment and never want to speak to him again. You surprised yourself by being so forward, but it’s Hyunjin. It wouldn’t hurt.

“I..yeah, I have. Do..do you want to?” He asks, finally looking you in the eyes. Your gaze meets his, and the lust is evident in his eyes as he tries to discreetly check you out. This would change your friendship in a way that you would’ve never expected it to, but you don’t feel worried at all.

“You’re not gonna be weird about it afterwards, right? I mean, it’s not a big deal right?” You ask, and he shakes his head. “No! Not a big deal at all, as long as you’re not going to be w- oh, okay” he says, cutting himself off because you’ve now angled yourself in the corner of the couch to face him, your hands already ghosting the edge of your sleep shorts. You giggle as Hyunjin moves to do the same, and the sound is music to his ears.

Hyunjin sweeps his eyes over your form, and feels something spark in him. You look so small all the way over there, the giant tshirt you had on was not doing anything to help the sight. Hyunjin was starting to have ideas, and he decides that he wants to test the waters.

Before he can even get to it though, you let out a little sigh as your fingers tease yourself over your underwear. “H-hyunjin.. Can you like, say something? Maybe?” You ask timidly. You can see the mood shift in his eyes as he smirks.

“Oh, you want me to talk dirty to you, huh?” He chuckles, and with the way your chest hitches, he knows he’s headed in the right direction. You blush and nod your head, embarrassed to say anything else.

Hyunjin is palming himself over his sweatpants, trying to keep pace with you. He watches as you relax into your own touch, and decides that he doesn’t want to hold back anymore.

Sliding his hands into his boxers, he sighs in relief at finally feeling something. “Do you feel good baby? Talk to me,” he tells you, and for some reason the new pet name sets you on fire. Following his lead you finally move your fingers past your panties, dragging circles along your clit and letting a soft moan slip past your lips. “Yes, God, so good” you moan. You look up at him and the feeling is magnified.

His sweatpants have fallen a little low on his hips, and the sight of his hips and the muscles under his tshirt has you wanting to see more. Hyunjin notices you eyeing him, and decides to take his shirt off, throwing it on the floor next to the couch. He’s absolutely gorgeous, muscles flexing as he works himself up.

“Now don’t let me be the only one getting naked baby, let me really see you,” he says, and the tone is just between demanding and almost condescending. This new side to Hyunjin instantly makes you want to give in, and you’d do whatever he asked you to as long as you got to look at him like this.

You watch his eyes go wide when you take your shirt off, and you had almost forgotten that you weren’t even in your bra. Chest completely bare in front of him, he doesn’t take his eyes off you for a second as he slides his sweatpants down farther. You now have a perfect view of his cock, long and hard in his hand. This was one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen.

“Jesus fuck-” Hyunjin groans, his hand moving faster on his cock. You match his movements, getting yourself worked up. At this point you take your shorts off as well, the two of you completely naked, on opposite sides of the couch.

“You can take a few fingers for me, right doll? Show me what you do when no one’s around,” He says, fucking up into his hand. You bring your hand up to your mouth and slide your fingers in, putting on a show for him. His eyes never leave your face, and you’re glad he’s as affected by this as you are.

You insert one finger into your core and your back arches, finally getting a taste of what you’ve been wanting so badly. Its nowhere near enough, you decide, and insert another finger. Hyunjin thinks that you look so, so pretty like this. He could sit for hours and just watch you, wouldn’t even need to touch you and he would be okay.

Getting lost in your own pleasure, you let your thoughts travel to the boy on the couch across from you. You still couldn’t believe this was happening. All of the times you’ve ever gotten off to the thought of your best friend flash behind your eyelids, and it only brings you closer to the edge.

Hyunjin is almost there, too, and wants to make sure you cum before him, or at least at the same time as him. “F-fuck Y/N I’m so close. You can go a little faster for me, right baby? Make yourself feel good for me,” he says, and the request has you keening. “H-Hyunjin,” you moan out, letting the feeling completely take over as your reach down to rub circles on your clit, your orgasm approaching quickly.

“Just like that baby, maybe next time I’ll let you cum on my fingers instead,” he says, voice getting breathy as he approaches his high. “Oh God, Hyunjin please,” you beg, even though you’re not sure what you’re begging for at this point.

It doesn’t take too much longer until the coil that was wound suddenly bursts, your orgasm taking over your senses. You lift your back off of the couch, whimpers coming from your mouth as you ride out your own orgasm. Watching you cum sets Hyunjin off, and he quickens his pace. Ribbons of white paint his  stomach and his hands, and the sounds that leave his lips, deep and gravely are almost enough to set you off again.

The two of you sit there, basking in the afterglow of your orgasms, the movie completely forgotten. The credits were rolling in the background now, and Hyunjin has completely forgotten about the dare he was supposed to be doing right now. You look over at Hyunjin, his skin glowing and just looking absolutely ethereal. Hyunjin is thinking the same, taking in the way your hair has gotten messed up from running your hands through it, and the slight sheen of sweat on your forehead.

It’s quiet for a moment, and you make your way closer to Hyunjin. His eyes widen as you get closer. Opting to lean in close to him, you whisper in his ear.

“So.. are you gonna let me cum on your fingers now?” you tease.

And he does. And on his tongue, too. Y’know, for good measure.

✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧   ✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧  ✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧

@dom--minnie @sparklemin @minholuvs @hanflix @moonlit-lixie