#and yes i went straight delusional lol

[herdemimonde]

30 Day Plan: Part Deux

it's been a month since my 30 day challenge and although i still need to give another update, i'm jumping into part 2 because why wait?

for this month, i'm going to focus on thinking & believing like her. last month i stuck to only [mostly] listening to my affirmations [music] playlist and i did notice a change in my thinking mainly when it came to removing a lot of negative thoughts.

but i need to replace those thoughts with better, more positive thoughts otherwise they're just going to come back.

so i downloaded the thinkup app, got the premium subscription and recorded not affirmations per say, but more so beliefs that i feel she would have.

my favorite thing about this app is that you don't read your affirmations but you listen to them.

the plan is to listen to them every day as often as i can for the next 30 days and see what my results are.

[lunerna21]

I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO THE UPDATE FOR BOOK 7 AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED WITH HOW MUCH I ENJOYED IT

***SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 JPN SERVER AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!***

***ALSO SLIGHTLY LONG POST AHEAD! MY APOLOGIES!***

UM CAN I MENTION HOW HARD I LAUGHED WHEN SILVER WAS TELLING THE STORY ABOUT FLOYD GRABBING RIDDLE'S HAIR TO SEE IF IT WAS HOT?!

AND JADE HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING WHILE AZUL IGNORES THEM!!!!

If they ever animate that scene, I'm gonna hurl from seeing Floyd just being catapulted off screen and Jade enjoying himself 😂

Floyd being so bored of his dream and just him swaying like the seaweed was freakin hysterical 😂

It just reminded me of this for some reason:

I mean it makes sense since Floyd is always up for a challenge and isn't afraid of basically anything, so of course Malleus's vision for Floyd's dream wasn't going to be very exciting

ALSO WE CAN TALK ABOUT FLOYD HAD THE BALLS TO FIGHT MALLEUS, LEONA AND EVEN FUCKING CATER?! CATER WIPED THE FLOOR FIGHTING FLOYD BUT I WASN'T EXPECTING CATER TO KICK ASS

HELL YES CATER!!

.......And then we jump into Jade's dream...

....The moment I saw how Jade imagined both Azul and Floyd...

AND THEN SOMEONE POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT

JADE BY FAR IS THE MOST HYSTERICAL CHARACTER IN TWST AND I CAN'T BELIEVE FLOYD HAD TO SEE HIS DOOFY LOOKING FACE LIKE THAT

I don't blame Floyd for duking it out with Jade I would feel the same if thats how my siblings imagined me lol

And finally, Azul's dream!!

First of all, AZUL WAS SOMETHING ELSE DURING HIS DREAMS

Azul being a coral rush player?! AND KINDA BEING JOCKY?! I wasn��t prepared for that! 😂

(special shoutout to Idia for throwing shade at his first image of a cocky player, that was 👌🏻)

JADE JUST GRABBING POOR IDIA'S TABLET AND GETTING AZUL'S SIGNATURE ON IT 😂👏🏻👏🏻

AND IDIA JUST SLOWING MOVING OFF TO THE SIDE THIS POOR GUY HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH 😂

When the mermaids started harassing everyone and knocked us over, I WASNT READY FOR AZUL TO CARE WHEN WE GOT HIT

I WAS A FREAKING MESS IM SO DELUSIONAL AND I KNOW HE'S NOT ALWAYS NICE BUT AHHHHHHHH HE WAS SO CUTE HERE (Ignore me I'm delusional and I've missed Azul so much 🥺❤️)

It was so bizarre to see Azul playing a jocky player and being popular in school, but once Idia explained that any negative moments or lessons Azul had to face (bullying, losing the contracts) were no longer a thought because of it only being a dream with no negative emotions

It’s still mind boggling how detailed everyone’s dreams are but terrifying like damn Malleus has so much power and yet he can juggle so many of them

After Azul invited us to the party and was INCREDIBLY NICE for someone like him, and Idia got suss:

I knew something was up, especially after he made everyone wear the anenomes for the party AND GRIM SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER HE WENT THROUGH THIS BEFORE WHY DID HE BELIEVE THIS

Floyd and Jade bouncing off Azul being a bully was soooo worth it

It's kinda scary how I preferred the old Azul, considering he wasn't a cocky jock straight from a manga/book ICK ICK ICK

AND THEN AFTER AZUL FELL INTO THE BLOT, HE WAS A PAIN IN THE BUTT TO CORNER I WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH THE PLANNING AND HOW WE HELPED DESTROY THE CONTRACTS ONCE AGAIN

But this devastated me 😭

It still must've felt pretty shitty having to go through that again, but I started to cry I'm just so happy Azul woke up from his dream 😭❤️❤️❤️

Azul's battle with himself! *chefs kiss* I love how they reference it similar to the battle from The Little Mermaid and how Azul's blot form began to grow

But let me tell you something:

I WOULD DIE IF I COULD FRAME THIS!! JUST SEEING THE GLOWING EYE AND AZUL DOING THIS POSE! PERFECTION!!!

ITS SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK AZUL!!!❤️

This chapter was such a fun trip, and I'm so glad we're slowly getting closer to releasing everyone from their dreams

BUT ONE LAST THING! TWST INTENTIONALLY DID THIS TO HURT MY FEELINGS!

HOOOOOWWWWW DARE TWST FOR SHOVING THIS IN MY FACE I WANT MY BEST FRIENDS BACK SO BADLY AND THE FACT THAT THEY DO THIS CONSTANTLY AND ALSO GRIM BRINGING THEM UP IS JUST AWFUL

I MISS THEM SO MUCH I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN

NEXT UP, SAVANACLAW!! (RUGGIE I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!!)

Enjoy the weekend~~!!!❤️

(Screenshots from https://youtube.com/@gasmask01?si=lpin67yaOvHDdg_c )

[wendytestabrat]

cartman’s behavior in “jewpacabra” explained

something that always stood out to me abt this episode when i first watched it (and btw this was WAYYYY before people started changing their stance abt cartman and realizing he’s not all that horrible, this was when he was still in his menace era and people would shit on cartman all the time) was how sad & pitiful cartman was in this episode. like honestly when i watch this one i can’t help but feel bad for cartman bc this episode rlly highlights how truly delusional and fucked up in the head he is and how he can’t help it, and it also rlly shined a light on cartman’s schizophrenia & mental issues too how he was imagining this thing in his head (which was the jewpacabra) that wasn’t even real and then there was that whole sequence/dream cartman had where he was a jew and all that. i think a lot of cartman’s anti-semitism stems from mental illness and delusions he has which they also explored further in “cupid ye” how when once cupid me was on his meds he stopped being an anti-semitic asshole bashing jews. and i DEF don’t think cartman’s anti-semitic behavior in this episode was him being malicious or anything bc he actually delusionally believed there was a creature named jewpacabra that was out to get him LOL and then he was scared af and thought he was gonna die and shit. i feel like the episode def did start out with cartman just being an anti-semitic dick as usual and trying to mess with kyle over the jewpacabra thing but then as the episode went on it took a DARK turn bc cartman started believing the thing he made up in his head was real. and i feel like this is what kyle finally realized later on in the episode, which was why he felt bad for cartman and unchained him & took him home. at first kyle assumed this what just cartman being a bigoted asshole as usual going after jews which was why he was pissy at cartman AF in the beginning bc he took it personally and assumed cartman was just trying to harass him, but then he had a moment of mercy for cartman when he rescued him at the end. i feel like what was going through kyle’s head was him realizing cartman wasn’t trying to be an asshole but he was genuinely scared of something that wasn’t real to the point he got himself chained up outside in the cold, so he just felt bad for cartman & pitied him bc he realized this was more about him just being an ignorant delusional idiot than it was about him being cruel or mean. so yeah OFC kyle couldn’t stand to let cartman stay out there in the cold all sad & scared over something that he was suffering from which was a straight up schizophrenia episode, which ofc triggered kyle’s codependent side. that’s also why at that scene at the end kyle went easy on cartman and was nice to him when cartman was saying how he believed in juddaism now and all that LOL. cartman tells kyle how kyle prob thinks he’s lying or making it all up and kyle is just like “i know you’re not” bc kyle realized cartman rlly wasn’t lying bc he delusionally believed this shit. bc normally if something like that happened kyle would just get mad and be like “you’re not jewish fatass!1!1!” 😡 but kyle decided not to get mad and take shit personally this time and was able to overlook his behavior and see what was RLLY going on with cartman. i also love how kyle didn’t reveal at the end that HE was the one who took him home and just decided to let cartman believe it was a ‘passover miracle’. i feel like this episode parallels “smug alert” A LOT how cartman didn’t want kyle to find out he was the one who saved him bc he didn’t want kyle to know how much he cares abt him. so i feel like kyle was the same exact way in this episode, he was prob embarrassed with himself for trying to help cartman and didn’t want cartman to find out how much he cares.

[retrobr]

Lazytown Shenanigans Pt. 3

I can state with all confidence that "The Holiday Spirit" episode is one of the best episodes in the whole show. I was smiling like an idiot while watching it and nearly cried out of joy in the end, THIS WAS SO FREAKING GOOD OMG-

But I need to calm down for a minute.

So,

"The Holiday Spirit."

This episode has very strong found-family vibes in my opinion. I just wasn't able to help myself but feel warm and fuzzy inside when I was watching characters interactions; they are so precious to me... And, as I mentioned in the very first "Lazytown Shenanigans" post, I absolutely adore Christmas atmosphere in the movies and such stuff, so it was the first signal that I might like this episode.

But let's talk about the most important detail of this episode: Robbie's behavior. I just- I- dudes. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?? HE WAS SO NICE AND SWEET, AND OH MY FREAKING GOD I AM ACTUALLY CRYING BECAUSE OF THIS?? 

He didn't even do anything bad at all. AT ALL. I mean yes, it all started with the fact that he wanted to get a gift, but the whole thing kinda snowballed and after that he started behaving better and better. I mean, he was pretty happy to help Stephanie and other folks, and oh my god, this excitement in his voice when he greeted the gang... 

And the fact that he actually wanted and tried to be nice for once. He didn't do any name-calling or nasty things; he didn't even react to Sportacus' appearance in the house (but we'll talk about it a little later, mmhhmm.) HE EVEN VOLUNTEERED HIMSELF TO COOK A FUCKING TURKEY, AND THE GANG ACTUALLY INVITED HIM TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY, AND HE WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY!! This once again confirms that people love him even when he acts not that well and he also loves them too, secretly of course. I want to cry this is so precious 😭😭

And the final scene when the kids and others went to his lair to congratulate him personally, and the expression on his face when he saw them all... My heart is melting; I can't stand this amount of adorable interaction between kids and Robbie. God bless them 🥺

Speaking of adorable interactions, I literally shed a small and very manly tear in the scene when Santa visited kids without any presents, and they convinced him that it's totally fine. Santa is just so nice, and I can't stand it when such wonderful and kind characters are sad. I literally want to cry again while writing this (I'm a very sentimental and pathetic creature, you guys should be aware of that lol.)

But let's touch on the topic of a little funny thing. Robbie's turkey knocked out Santa's sleigh. THE WAY I SNORTED WHEN I SAW THIS OMG 😭💀 And Sportacus' reaction like "what the heck was that-" WAS JUST A CHERRY ON TOP I CAN'T-

And finally, my darling beloved Sportacus and Robbie. :]. Their interaction was, oh finally, pretty nice and normal, even from Robbie's part, which surprised me VERY much. As I mentioned before, he didn't even react when Sport appeared in the house to help the gang, and WAIT. About the helping part: the very first person who he helped was exactly Robbie; and please don't tell me that "um, actually Sportacus needed a ladder and Robbie was stuck in this ladder mlem-mlem-mlem 🤓", I WHOLEHEARTEDLY ADORE THOSE DORKS, JUST LET ME BE DELUSIONAL FOR A MINUTE OK?? 

And HOOHEE that moment when Stingy and Robbie didn't appear at the Christmas party, and Sport sent the gang to find Stingy and went to Robbie's lair himself. Sorry I have a heart attack and I can't think straight, but HAHSHJAKA HELLO 😭😭 AND THEN ROBBIE PEEKED OUT OF HIS LAIR AND HIS HAPPY LITTLE "Sportacus 🥹" KILLED ME AND MY POOR DUMB HEART. HE DIDN'T EVEN INSULT HIM. FOR ONCE. I already said that but I want to cry, this episode is a golden one for me

I think I need to stop right here because I can ramble a lot and well. Yeah I should stop. Thanks for your guys attention if you read it till the end, as always :D

[ichirukilover]

I closed the door to Bl/each after the tragedy of 6/86 and briefly opened a window to LA, because well that pair is my weakness and it made me laugh how treacherously I/R it was.

So when weeks ago I saw a beautiful I/R fanart on Tik Tok (The anime came back, so the algorithm decided it was a good idea to torture me), and the response to a comment that said "They should have ended up together "was "READ THE MANGA", I was baffled. I mean, what did that mean? had I read a fake manga all those years and the "real manga" appeared Da Vinci Code-style after 2016? Was it all a Jump conspiracy? Have we been duped all this time?

That piqued my curiosity, so I wandered around several sites, reading publications from the "correct/canon/real manga" point of view; and well, you'll see even worse things the bible says.

Here are my favorites:

"The I/H was evident from the beginning, just read chapter 0": yes, because a one-shot that is a sketch of the general idea of a manga, that goes through many revisions and rewrites is absolutely determinant in the development of the main manga, and seriously, what exactly is the evidence?

"HM arc is the ultimate proof of I/H, he went to rescue her and even came back from the dead for her": well, so did her other friends and even R/enji and R/ukia, maybe they were all in love with her too. And about the resurrection...just...never mind.

"I/H are perfect for each other" Here I could do a whole essay from a psychological point of view that proves that it is an absolute fallacy and was more than clear in the FB arc, in real life they wouldn't work and would be a toxic couple. And God knows at least that boy needs therapy.

"O***ime looks like Ma/saki" * Bombastic side eye. Criminal, offensive side eye *

"O***ime deserves I/chigo”: Oh, so he was some kind of trophy for being a good girl, so it wasn't enough to objectify her, they also do the same with the boy.

"Ru/kia was a shinigami and I/chigo was a human, and she's much older than him, their relationship was impossible." *Everything but the rain entered the chat*.

"I/H fought together against Y/wach": And we all know how well they (he) did, right?

"W/D/k/A/L/Y": *sigh* that's what it looks like when you try to fix a mess and fail miserably.

"W/D/k/A/L/Y's scribble": ...

"Anime invented IR": The studio simply pushed something that was already implicit in the original material and they knew it would sell more, it's basic marketing. Most of us knew what was filler and what wasn't (rolls eyes).

And there definitely wasn't a parallel manga that magically made sense of that ending. What a disappointment.

And I/R are the delusional and lacking in compressive reading? It's so much easier to say you just don't like people ship I/R, instead of sending them to read the manga or giving lazy arguments. Pathetic.

This was long, but I just needed to vent or something, because I honestly found the whole situation absolutely hilarious.

My English is broken, so I hope I have been understood.

PS: So in my delusional mind I/R is right now enjoying his honeymoon on the beach *wink**wink*.

Blessings.

As someone that didn't leave after the ending and has seen all these "amazing points" take form and basically became the classic "IH and pro ending dudebro agenda" list, let me tell you, I was and still am baffled too. No matter how many times I read them, I still get shocked at how some really believe that bunch of BS, or better they keep repeating it untill they'll believe it.

You adressed them in a simple but direct and straight to the point way, I don't even need to add anything to what you said, agree to all of it, wait lol well maybe I could add the the pilot chapter lit has In0ue de0d at the end of it but what do we know, that doesn't seem to matter to them lol it doesn't have to make sense smh

In our delusional mind that ichiruki honeymoon on the beach is so vivid and real... I wonder why lmao

[tayfabe75]

ok what do you think about the title of the last song on the new TS album which will be released entitled The Manuscript in relation with the lines the story needs more pages from me and you together song and death by thousand cuts reference to pages. A manuscript is a bunch of pages. Too delusional?

First and foremost, I'm definitely the last person to ask regarding whether or not something is "too delusional" lol I think that's an incredibly overused and misused word, particularly on Twitter. Obviously, I get what people think they're doing by throwing it around flippantly as an insult, but what it really says is "I think anyone who disagrees with me is mentally unwell". So, I pay absolutely no mind to that word, personally.

When it comes to song analyses, I think so long as you're not harassing the persons involved or other fans, then we're all allowed to kind of daydream about what the songs might mean to Taylor, regardless of whether or not our guesses are "correct"!

For me, it's much stranger to have heard the entire personal works and lyrical "diaries" of one of the most fascinating women in the world and have absolutely no curiosity about what or who inspires her, or the songs that moved you or brought you to tears, no? (And yes, this extends even to speculation from subcultures of the fandom that I don't personally agree with!)

All that said... Oh, my mind went straight to the same place! We've got a few hints that they want to tell a story, such as Matty calling M&YTS his "movie song" (and Taylor's song choice the same night). It doesn't end there! One of the most shocking revelations for me was when I heard the similarities between 'The Story of Us' and 'Cardigan'... very intriguing! Very ready for more pages 🤍

[magxit]

“You rly think the next guy she dates they’re not gonna look for …” yes because that never happened with Calvin, besides the media being dickheads implying he was getting happy endings. That never happened with Harry. That never happened with Tom Hiddleston either (besides Gaylors trying to proclaim Tom is gay) like the homophobes they are. The timing with Matty was just shit because the podcast, etc. before Taylor came along Matty was already having to apologize to the media that’s why his band has the joke shtick when he says something and they play. To clarify I’m not blaming Matty lol I’m just saying the guy for the short end of the stick compared to any of her exes for misguided reason based on what was already out there (bad timing) = misinformation which spread like wild fire

When Taylor started dating Calvin, he just got trolled by her fans. And we all know that. Because he would block people. But he was known as a straight shooter. He would clap back at the fans. And he also supported her publicly. This was what we thought was her peak! Everyone was waiting for the shoe to drop so she could be hated! the summer of 2016 the headline was Taylor was a lying slut. Broke Calvin’s heart and ran off with Tom. Don’t forget her psycho fan, Ashley writing that letter saying that Taylor needed to apologize about Calvin. Taylor’s reputation was destroyed by Kim and Kanye there were dozens of articles written about Taylor daily for months.  harry was an 18 year old child when Taylor dated him and that was like in 2012. Yet again a totally different time and Harry’s fandom was insane and went after Taylor calling her horrible names. She is the one that got her life torn to shreds. And the sad thing is Matty has still not gotten even a fraction of what Taylor has gone through with the Harry fandom and the summer of 2016. when she dated Harry and they broke up people were telling jokes about her to her face at award shows. I really think you’re delusional. If the next guy Taylor walks out with and he’s not Mr. Ken Barbie he’s not gonna have his life torn to shreds. There are people that hang out with Taylor and then fans start investigating them and find out that they liked a shady tweet about Taylor six years ago and then the fan start spamming these people and calling them fake and that Taylor needs to stop hanging out with him. These people are insane.

[anyataylorjoys]

Mexicans and American Mexicans are still deported to Mexico under Biden lolol. No matter what you try to bring up to deflect Biden being just as much as a peice of shit as Trump, Biden has continued or made worse. The cages are still a thing but have a different name now. ICE is even still around. You can calm it down and step off your high horse. I only said "you can do whatever you want, but dont shame people if they don't feel like voting or if they vote third party". Biden is just as much as a dictator as Trump. Just hear me out without going straight to the "do you just want a dictator??" mindset for a few minutes. Once you stop seeing red vs blue and start realizing it's about rich vs poor, things will make sense for you. Money and white supremacy is the only thing that keeps the interest of our goverment and is why they do what they do. That's why the United States and Israel are committing genocides across the entire world, no matter which party controls our government. Vote all you want to, but it's not going to do shit other then maybe make you feel like you did something. Going out of your house and protesting out in the streets, speaking up, and more direct action is what brings change. While you're out in the streets, look out for people and make sure people are wearing masks so they can't be identified, can't spread the ongoing pandemic, plus it helps with tear gas quite a bit. I'm sorry for ranting at you, but it just annoys me when people think voting will fix everything while we're all dying in the streets, without healthcare, and while our tax dollars are being used to fund more genocides.

"Just hear me out" no because I said listen carefully and you didn't and went straight to attacking me in my inbox and proceeded to spew a bunch of disinformation that I don't have time to unpack like "they stopped counting the death toll under Biden" wrong! And thanks to the trillions in covid relief funds under Biden, this country didn't go under and my family survived. But whatever this is besides the point I'm not here to defend Biden or even to defend democrats as a whole but at least some democrats appear to have a conscience, even if they are a bunch of pussies for not speaking up against this genocide in fear of losing their jobs and shame on them, I don't know how they sleep at night.

I don't like Biden, I don't agree with everything he's done. But to claim he's as much a "dictator" as Trump is delusional rhetoric. Trump was actively inciting an coup and threatening vote counters to throw out opposing votes because he's mentally unstable.

You're talking to someone who thinks democracy in America is already an illusion so yes, my vote is an attempt to feel like I'm not powerless as a citizen of this country lol. Voting doesn't solve everything obviously it cannot be that simplified, however I still believe voting is not entirely useless. Our voices do matter and protesting makes people listen. If our right to information, to speak and to protest is revoked, any power we have to make change in numbers will be lost and therefore, I'm prioritizing protecting those rights. I'll be doing everything I can to keep a dictator from becoming president because that's the ultimate threat we face right now. It's unfortunate that you and many others can't seem to foretell just how much worse things could get under complete GOP control in our current political climate of elevated right-wing radicalism.

Democrat or Republican run country, certain things will not get better right away. We have to take the steps necessary to make and maintain progression. But under Republicans, you can guarantee they will take this country back to 1950 and I won't stand by and put the fate of my future and others' lives in the hands of the American people without my contribution no matter how small of a difference you think it makes. People will say "every vote counts" and we all know that's a lie. However, if thousands of people share your mindset and choose not to vote, that's a dangerous game.

[obislittleone]

House Of Memories (5/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: angst, more nightmares, comfort and slight fluff if you squint

Summary: Your powers can only hold back the bad dreams for so long, and Obi-Wan finds out why they seem to be plaguing your mind.

A/n: Man, y'all really seem to be enjoying this... there will be romantic relations later on I promise but for now, it's gonna be a slow burn till I feel like it... also the age gap rn ain't rlly appropriate lol

Words: 3.1k (back to my better self tbh)

Anakin and Obi-Wan had just returned from the planet of Bracca, coming through the doors of the apartment at an ungodly hour of the night. It was Anakin's first off world mission with the order where he actually got to do something, and from the sounds of loud ruckus they were making, you'd say it went well.

You hadn't been able to sleep very well that night anyways, so you couldn't blame them fully, but it would be easier in the morning to shove off the fact that you were grumpy and restless because of them. You got up out of bed, stepping out the doors to see Anakin doubled over, laughing his poor head off while Obi-Wan smirked from the corner.

"Anakin, look what you've done," Obi-Wan gestured to you in a joking way before walking up a pretending to scold him. "You've woken up the only person who can actually get us in trouble."

Anakin stood up straight, getting out a few more giggles before approaching you with open arms. You stopped him before he could embrace you, seeing as how he looked absolutely high off of something. You knew Obi-Wan would never allow him to indulge in any sort of spice or substance, which meant this buffoon of a padawan was literally so exhausted, he began to lose it, in stitches yet again over your single motion.

"What did you do to him this time?" You asked Obi-Wan, pulling back your braid and letting it lay behind your shoulder.

"Believe it or not, our chosen one has decided to make a complete fool of himself, simply because I stepped out onto the wrong floor as we came up in the elevator."

Obi-Wan couldn't hide his subtle amusement, in all seriousness, it was funny how much Anakin was laughing now, even still after they had finally gotten into the apartment. How he was utterly tired and still had the energy to be this annoying, Obi-Wan would never know. He just hoped that perhaps he would settle down soon so you all could sleep.

"Anakin, at some point tonight, you will have to get over yourself. It probably wasn't even that funny," you complained, growing slightly annoyed with his antics. Your sixteen-year-old mood swings were far and few between, but when you were being kept up longer than you wished to be, because of your friend's stupidity, it was more than enough to make anyone moody.

"You weren't there," he had to break up his words, for now he was so delusional with laughter that he couldn't even finish a sentence. "He was so confused-"

"Yes, Anakin. Because like you, I'm tired."

Obi-Wan wanted more than anything to leave the room, to go to his own and forget about Anakin for the night... but he couldn't do that to you. Mostly because he'd never hear the end of it.

He tugged the boy from the ground, pushing him towards his room, with a soft glare. Even if you shut his door for the night, you wouldn't be able to sleep until he was quiet. Obi-Wan gave you a look that said 'go ahead, you have my permission,' before you walked up and raised your hand to Anakin's head. You used only a small bit of power, and he was out like a light, falling to the ground of his room.

"Now I feel bad, we can't just leave him like this," you pointed to all his limbs, half inside his room and sprawled out wildly.

"I'm too tired to carry him. My days of lifting him at all are probably over."

You did notice Anakin was quite taller now. Bigger than Obi-Wan, as far as you could tell.

"I'll grab his arms," you sighed, walking over and beginning to drag the top half of him into the room, your master following along with his legs.

Once you made it to the bed, you both looked at each other, the looks spoke for themselves, saying 'kriff, no'. Instead, you grabbed a pillow for his head, and a blanket, tossing it to Obi-Wan. You placed the pillow beneath him, while Obi-Wan spread the thin material over the length of his legs and body.

You ran your fingers over the boy's hair, quietly and efficiently making sure that the nightmares were still taken care of. You only sensed the glow of protection that was your signature, keeping guard over his dreams.

"You're good to help him the way you do," Obi-Wan smiled with pride at you. He was proud to call you his padawan, because he knew everything that you had accomplished over the years, under his training and mentorship. He only hoped that one day he'd be able to say he had a small part in how you had grown into the heroic, compassionate Jedi you were.

"He deserves to rest at night, the same as all of us."

Obi-Wan nodded his head to the door, signaling it was time for you to retire as well. You had tried earlier in the night, and been awoken by a small nightmare, but having them both return safely helped ease your mind. You should have no trouble in finding sleep, now.

Once in bed, you thought about your master. All the wisdom he'd been pouring into you lately was surely not by coincidence. You weren't as young as you used to be, on the verge of seventeen, in fact. You knew that whenever your master was giving you lessons on things that need be learned, usually it was followed by a test, or trial of sorts; one that could be used to learn the lesson in its full extent.

You fell asleep on those thoughts, feeling as though you were now too tired to wonder what trial might be coming your way. You felt at peace, floating in a dark abyss, until suddenly you were pulled from your bed. It was still dark, and you couldn't see anything, but the hands that grabbed at you were not familiar. You branched out with the force, trying to gain any knowledge of who was taking you. You screamed out for help, unable to control your powers enough to face them down. Were you weakened? It didn't make any sense. You were quite powerful and could usually take down an enemy, despite them having a size advantage. This time it was harder to focus on one thing at a time, because the darkness soon faded. You were brought into an execution room, with torture devices lining the walls and floors. There were creatures you'd never seen before, chanting the words of death in several languages. You weren't sure how you even recognized some of the words, but you did. Your blood boiled thick when the face of your captor was revealed. It was not human, nor droid, but a robotic mix of the two, with limbs twice as long as yours, standing as tall as a mudhorn but with all the lankiness of a skeleton. You'd heard stories about General Grievous, the tormentor amongst captured Jedi. The one who collected lightsabers from those he'd struck down. You weren't afraid of him, yet. You couldn't even say why, you just looked at him with a glare, hoping that you could be the one to destroy him.

He brought you to the center of the room, shoving you away from him, and staring you down.

"You are no Jedi. You," he used his sharp metal finger to point at you with a crooked tilt of his mechanical head, "are a pretender."

"And you are a coward, hiding behind an army of droids because you know you can't win on your own accord."

Your mind was clear, as you took your saber from your hip, igniting it to show its green glow against the otherwise dark room.

Grievous laughed maniacally, and so did the creatures in the room with him. Your lightsaber was pulled from your hands, and you were unable to stop it. Why were you so weak? Why couldn't you remember your training?

"Your master has failed you."

That was the last straw, for all the things you could take, slander against your master was not one of them. You would defend his honor with your life. Selfishly, if you had to.

"And you are about to fail him."

You froze in place. Unable to move a single muscle or even blink an eye. You were held in place and made to look at the new scene in front of you. Obi-Wan was restrained against a wall, already beaten and bloody. Your heart sank, and you tried to reach for him, but you were still frozen to your spot. The creatures that surrounded you continued to assault him, left and right poking and prodding different devices that had him crying out in pain. He couldn't even hold himself up, the only thing giving him any structure being his restraints.

"Stop this!" you somehow yelled out, gaining the attention of Grievous, while his monsters continued to have their way with Obi-Wan. "If it is life you want, you will take mine before I let you take his."

Another laugh of horrific proportions sounded in your ears, his tone of voice was so irritating, and made your skin crawl.

"You have failed."

Grievous turned back to your master, barely alive as he was, and ignited your lightsaber, before running him through with it. You watched his body go completely limp in the restraints, pulling on the wall as he hung there with nothing left. His blood ran over the floors, seeping under your feet, and you cried out, screaming into the void that soon surrounded you. You were left alone soon enough, breaking free from the trance that held you in place. You sank to your knees beside Obi-Wan, using the force to break the restraints. He fell into your arms, his body broken, and lifeless. You held him close to you, hoping and praying that he wasn't dead, that this wasn't real. You wanted nothing more than for him to hold you instead, to tell you that you hadn't failed him, and that you never would. Your tears were everywhere, mixed in with the shedding of his blood on your hands.

You couldn't bear it. You screamed out his name to the cosmic force around you, not able to feel his presence the way you always had before.

All of a sudden, you could hear his voice, and it was calling you by name.

"Master?" You begged, but it was not coming from the body you held.

"Wake up, little one."

You sat up in your bed, tears streaming down your face. Your breathing was rapid, and horribly uneven, and your face was a mess of redness and heat.

Obi-Wan was sat right next to you, his hands on your arms, trying to get you to come to for the past few minutes. It was instantly very cold all around you, like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on your head. As soon as you saw his eyes, wide and full of worry over you, you were a mess. You fell into his arms, clinging to his tunic, which he'd still not taken off for the evening. You cried into his chest, leaving stains that you hoped wouldn't stay there. You couldn't explain the relief, but also the torment it put you through, to hold onto him like this.

He rubbed his hands through your hair, placing his chin above your head as to secure you fully in his embrace. He'd never seen you so upset before. Never seen you in such distress over anything you've ever done. He knew that you'd had some nightmares in the past, but didn't think they had gotten so bad that you would collapse into his arms upon waking from them.

He'd heard you calling his name earlier... no, calling was a bit of an understatement. You were practically screaming for him in the dead of night, and it scared the living kriff out of him. To hear your anguish and see you curled into yourself when he came in the room broke his heart. Now you were awake, and his only job was to make you feel safe. You didn't care if you were safe or not, because the reason for your meltdown was not in your own interest, but his. He was here, he was alive, and you were holding onto him.

"It's alright, little one," he tried to console you, but the tears were still overpowering anything else you might have had to say just yet. It had been a while since you cried, perhaps it was good for you to let it all out now.

He climbed further into the bed, knowing he'd be here for a while if he were to ever help bring you to a point of peace. He rested against the headboard, not letting go of you as you continued to sob into his shirt.

You pulled away from him at one point, just looking up into his eyes, watching as they looked back down at you in concern. He really cared about you, didn't he?

"I'm sorry I kept you up," you apologized, sniffling the best you could so you could speak through the tears.

"You have no reason to be sorry."

He wiped your tears away, using his thumb to remove any stuck strands of hair from your face that were left in the wetness.

"I just know how tired you get, and I'm sorry I made you think something was wrong," you replied, beginning to cry a little more before he shushed you gently, holding one side of your face to make you focus on him.

"Don't worry about me. I can only rest once I know you're alright, anyway."

You nodded to him, tucking your head back into his chest, allowing his arms to encircle you once more. It was nice there. He was so strong, and made you feel like nothing could ever be wrong as long as you were tucked away in his embrace. His steady heartbeat was a testament to the fact that he was alive and well, and soon your nightmare faded to the blanks of your mind... for all of five seconds.

"Could you tell me what it was about?" He asked gently, wanting to see if there were any other ways he could help to sooth your mind.

You were hesitant at first, knowing if you shared it with him, it might seem more real to you, but with another thought, you decided he might be able to decipher your horrible dreams and maybe give you some wisdom to make them go away.

"You were being held in front of me, and they were hurting you," you had to pause and swallow your emotions down for a moment. You had stopped bawling your eyes out, and wanted to prevent yourself from it happening again.

"Who's 'they?'"

You sighed, not sure if you should tell him that part or not. It was a dream, not a vision. You may have even misidentified the villain of your dream anyway.

"I don't really know, but they had you and they told me I failed you. Then it was like I couldn't move... I couldn't help you."

Obi-Wan wasn't quite sure of how to respond yet, but you weren't done, and the last part of your words hit home for him.

"They killed you in front of me," you whispered, sending chills down his spine. "I was holding you, but you were gone."

He pulled you back at arms length, looking you in the eye and making sure you heard every word he was about to say.

"You have not failed me, and you never will. I know these dreams can be frightening, but you are stronger than they are. Do you understand?"

You nodded, looking over his face and seeing the sincerity of his words in his every expression. You noticed something you hadn't noticed before, little flecks of gold towards the center of his eyes. Pretty, and calming.

"Thank you, master."

He smiled, beginning to shift next to you, though you were still partially in his arms. You furrowed your brow as you looked up at him in confusion, before he gave a simple answer.

"You should try and get some more sleep, if you can. You have a big day tomorrow," he waited for you to respond, because he knew you would.

"Could you stay a little longer? It just makes me feel better when I know you're here," you explained, but he easily understood. He's of course had dreams that weren't easy to deal with and having the person beside you can help ease your mind into forgetting the dream ever occurred. He nodded, scooting back in next to you, this time sitting up while you laid beside him, holding onto his arm for dear life as you nestled back into an actual sleeping position.

He began humming a song that you had almost forgotten about. The one you'd both made up together in your early years as a youngling. You smiled, eyes closing as you hummed along with him until you were able to sleep peacefully. He knew you were out when he heard the soft snores, but he couldn't bring himself to leave your side, in fears that you may wake up or even have another bad dream.

He wondered if the severity of your dreams may have been caused by your decision to take them from Anakin. It made sense and was the only possible explanation for the suddenness of it all. You were a fairly happy child growing up, and hadn't ever been a bother at night to the other Masters who took care of you in your youngling stages.

He would ask you about it, but knew that no matter what he said, you wouldn't stop helping Anakin. You were too compassionate for your own good sometimes, and he worried what that might do to you in future times. You could also be naive, which didn't go well with an open heart.

He let his fingers untangle your hair while you slept, hoping that it would make putting it up in the morning easier for you. You did, in fact, have a big day tomorrow. A meeting with the council to discuss your progress with Obi-Wan's training. If it went well, you would also be allowed to accompany your master and fellow padawan on missions off world to different systems. He hoped you'd not be so tired that any type of failure came upon you. That is what you were fearing. That you would fail him. He knew it wasn't possible, because you always found ways to make him proud of you, but he worried that you still felt that way.

He fell asleep deep in his thoughts, his head against your headboard, and his arm wrapped in your tight embrace.

-

Tags:

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax

[biisexualemma]

pretend pt.3. oscar diaz

word count: 1583

warnings: not really, a little sad and angsty, a bit of language but happy ending dw!

requested: 'Pretend pt.3?'

plot: oscar loves you, but you’re not convinced it can work

a/n: um thank u to those few who have waited literal months for this last part! i am struggling to write oscar atm but it’s here! and i hope you like it! oop ‘cause i kinda hate this and it took me months to figure out how to end this— anyway it’s here lol read and lmk what you think even if ye hate it

pt.1. / pt.2.

masterlist

"i think i'm falling in love with you."

you blinked, the rest of your body seemed frozen for a moment afterwards. that had been the last thing you'd ever expected from him. you could feel your head throbbing, whether it'd been from the aftermath of the party, or just your mind trying to keep up with what was happening. you furrowed your brows, your hand retracting from his palm, pushing yourself back against the seat of his car.

you couldn't process his words fast enough to respond straight away. instead you shifted your gaze out through the windshield, your mouth opening and closing every couple of seconds. you didn't know how to answer him.

oscar was watching your every move, his stomach twisting when you pulled away from him. your expression was changing ever so slightly every second, he could see you processing the information. he gulped, suddenly thinking the worst, shifting his eyes down to the space between you two. he should have kept his mouth shut and sat on his feelings. he should have let you out of the arrangement and left it at that. he hadn't thought any of this through. you had given no inclination over the past few weeks that you'd felt the same way. you were just helping out a friend.

you cleared your throat after a long silence. "you think?" your voice was still pretty quiet, like your mind was still working through what he'd said. "you don't know if you love me or not?" you were trying to make sense of it in your head, not able to meet his eyes yet.

"y/n—"

"i just think that's something you should be sure about before saying it out loud," you gulped. you were kind of annoyed with him for telling you this. a little part of you inside wanted to revel in his words, the part of you that had been in love with him for years when you were younger. but you'd moved on. you would have never had agreed to do his fake dating scheme if you'd thought you'd fall back into those feelings, you knew you wouldn't be able to put yourself through that again.

you had loved oscar for a long time, and you watched him for years treat women like they were nothing. delusional, you thought you were different and that oscar would never treat you this way, you clung to him. it took a long time for you to accept the reality, to fall out of love with him and realise he would only ever see you as a friend.

so oscar's confession now, wasn't as simple as you feeling the same way or not, it was far more complicated.

"the past few weeks weren't real oscar," you reminded him, you felt like he needed it. "you don't love me— you just love how i've been treating you. if you loved me, it wouldn't've taken you this long to realise."

he shook his head. "i was an idiot," you shifted so you were facing him again, watching how his eyes darted between yours desperately. "i was really fucking stupid— i didn't— i don't want to go back to how it was. i can't."

you shook your head barely, your eyes closing for a split second. oscar had been your best friend for years and he'd never lie to you like this. you just didn't want it to be true.

"i've seen firsthand how you are with girls, oscar. and i don't wanna pretend that you see me any differently—"

"no— this isn't— it's not the same," he was pleading at this point, desperately, feeling you slip away. "y/n, you know me," his eyebrows furrowed but his voice was soft, you didn't often hear him talk like this. it was hard to not get wrapped up in his words. "this ain't like those other girls."

you held his stare, breaking it only for a second when you felt your throat tighten. you couldn't bring yourself to fall into it, something was holding you back. it was too much to have him sat in front of you, begging you to believe him when it was too late.

"oscar, i loved you for a long time," your voice was quiet, all those years your feelings went unrequited. "and you fucked girl after girl, and i watched thinking one day you'd pick me and it'd be different but you never did, and it never was."

his lips were pursed, his hand gripping the seat of his car, knuckles white. he could hear the waver in your voice and it was hitting him like a brick. he ignored you for years, oblivious to anything you felt for him. he didn't realise, until now, how awful you must have felt.

"so, i'm sorry, if i'm not ready and willing," you tried to play off your confession, feeling the lump in your throat grow larger the longer this was strung out. "but i have been telling myself for years to move on— so it feels a bit late for you to be having this realisation when i've loved you my whole life."

he nodded. he understood, of course he did. he couldn't ask you to reverse years of heartbreak because he realised too late that you were the only thing that really mattered. he would just have to live with his mistake.

his eyebrows had knitted tighter together after sitting and listening. "if i could take back some of the shit i've done— mami— i'm sorry."

"yeah, well, me too," you shrugged, your lips tightening. you gulped when he shifted his hand over to yours, letting your palm set on top of his. he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. you were quiet for a while, enjoying the warmth of his hand against yours, finding comfort in his touch for just a little while longer.

"what made you realise?" you were almost whispering when you spoke again, everything was so quiet now.

oscar had to force himself to look at you. it was dark but the light from the streetlamp illuminated just half of your face, your eyes glossy. he clenched his jaw before speaking. "i talked to my ex."

"you did?" surprised he'd waited this long to bring it up. that had been the end goal all this time.

he nodded gently, his grip loosened on your hand, his thumb grazing the back of your hand now. his eyes were drawn to your hands, while your eyes remained on him. "yeah— made me realise she just wasn't you," he refused to shift his gaze. as did you. you felt your chest tighten. his sincerity made everything feel wrong about your decision.

"'cause you— you have these freckles on your nose that only come out in the sun," you watched the corner of his lips tug into a small smile as the image of you, sitting in front of him, sun in your eyes and wind blowing through your hair flashed through his mind. "and you make the same face every time you tell me off— your nose scrunches and you get a crease on your forehead," your eyes drooped listening to him talk as openly and honestly as you'd ever heard him talk about anything. it wasn't a side you saw often, but you could feel yourself soften, and your defence weaken. "and cesar— you love him like he's your own brother— i love that— that kid is everything to me— and he is to you too."

he huffed, the smile slipping from his face when he drew himself out of his head. he pulled away from you finally to run a hand over his face. he was angry with himself for messing this up. "and you're never gonna' forgive me," his heart was beating harder with the thought of losing you. "and i'm on' lose my mind without you."

you were quiet for a while, soaking in his words.

you hesitated, but moved your hand to his shoulder, your fingers grazing his skin, moving to the nape of his neck, urging him to look at you again. edging closer, you rid of the space between you two. oscar's eyes moved between yours, his eyebrows furrowed together softly. you moved both hands to his neck, carefully edging his face closer, your breath fanning against his lips before you kissed him.

oscar reacted, his body shifting closer to yours, his hand grazing your thigh to pull you nearer. your mind was racing, your hands curling around his neck and cupping his face as you leaned into the kiss. you were breathless when you pulled back, finally. his hand gripping your thigh now, scared you might retreat to the passenger seat again.

"you keep talking like that and i might love you forever," you mumbled, almost incoherent. your mind was foggy from this kiss and all you could feel was his thumb was now grazing softly over your thigh. his free had lifted, his forefinger and thumb touching your chin, tilting your head up so your eyes stayed locked with his.

"i swear, i'm in this until you don't want me anymore."

you shook your head, you bit your lip remembering the kiss. your eyes trailing to his lips again as you remembered the feeling. "never gonna happen."

oscar cracked a soft smile, his fingers moving to trace your jawline gently. "it's settled then."

you revelled in his touch, letting him trace over your skin, slowly feeling yourself lean further into his embrace. he pressed his lips against your forehead, lingering for a minute before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. you tilted your chin up, kissing him for a second before pulling back again.

oscar's hand slipped from your jawline to the back of your neck, pulling you back and kissing you again. his lips moved softly against yours, for a few seconds until you reacted and kissed back. when he pulled away for air you felt yourself longing for more.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 20

Iconic. Seeing Wei Wuxian back and better than ever is so satisfying! That flute playing that probably we’ve all forgotten about since the first two episodes becomes a repeating leitmotif throughout the series. It’s just as iconic as Wei Wuxian himself. And what I love about this shot here is how the light hits his eyes, and from this specific camera angle, it looks like a mask on his face! I just thought that was super cool. Whether it was intentional or not, I have no idea, but I like to think it was. I guess it’s like a reverse mask in this case—everything is hidden except his eyes.

It’s amazing how I only went without Wei Wuxian for like half an episode, yet it felt like so much longer. The emotional weight that he carries is so great that from all the characters searching for him, it feels like it’s actually been three months, instead of more like twenty-five minutes. And I think that’s something that we can feel in CQL but we can’t really feel in the book. Since the book is written in third person limited, we only see Wei Wuxian’s side of the story (I think that’s accurate, but it’s been a few months since I read it). That being the case, we never leave Wei Wuxian’s side, we never get to miss him being there. Of course the story is framed totally differently in the book and not in chronological order, even—lots of flip-flopping, which is fun but also a little confusing when you’re trying to keep track of a timeline.

I think part of what makes Wang Lingjao so creepy here is that her garish makeup is totally gone: her face is pale and ghoulish, with just the bright red blood trickling out of her nose, mouth, and cut on her cheek. I think they could have made her even more ghostly, but I like what they did for her apparition. It’s fun to see how fast Wen Chao cracks, though. He’s very much all bark and no bite—honestly, such a coward. On the one hand, it’s satisfying to watch him lose it, but on the other, it’s quite disturbing. I toe the line between enjoying it and being disgusted by it, but I love that CQL at least kept in this part of Wei Wuxian’s character. It’s like revenge, no matter how bloody, is okay in Chinese tv, but not the main character being kind of bad. I don’t get why they had to nerf his character to the point of absolving him of all guilt with everything that happened. I like a character who makes bad choices, but feels guilty for it, because that shows depth. Someone who bad things happen to because of the “real villain” aren’t as interesting to me. I think also that Xiao Zhan would have been amazing as the real Wei Wuxian from the book, had they adapted him that way. I also would have really, really loved to see the scene that is only really described to us (I think by Lan Xichen) where a distraught and delusional Wei Wuxian rejects Lan Wangji. Ugh, that would have been so heart-wrenching! Maybe in the donghua…sigh….

So this is important, I think. There was a point in the last episode where Jin Zixuan tells his cousin not to let the crows peck at the dead bodies of their enemies. In other words, don’t desecrate the bodies, even if they are the enemy. Of course, Jin Zixuan didn’t hold any personal grudges towards any of them, at least that we know of. Jiang Cheng certainly does. So even though Wang Lingjao is already dead by her own hand, he whips her with Zidian. Jiang Cheng is becoming more and more twisted by his anger and grief, which he never deals with in a healthy way. He wants revenge against those that have wronged him and his parents, and he really never stops seeking revenge throughout the story. First it’s against the Wens, and then it’s against Wei Wuxian. It’s a fairly slow descent, I think, over years, but I quite like watching him twist like this. While it’s fun and interesting watching someone repent and have a redemption arc, it’s also interesting watching them go the other way.

Lan Wangji seems to know, or at least suspect, that the person who has killed everyone in the Supervisory Office, including Wang Lingjao, is Wei Wuxian. A talent for using talismans (one of which Lan Wangji used himself to escape the Wens), someone who is seeking revenge against the Wen Clan—these things point to Wei Wuxian in his mind. He doesn’t want to say this to Jiang Cheng, he doesn’t even want to admit it himself, but he’s putting the pieces together. I think this is a frightening thought for him. On the one hand, he would be happy to find Wei Wuxian alive, but on the other, what state would they find him in? And what does it mean that he’s killed all these people singlehandedly? This isn’t the Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji knows and cares so deeply about. This isn’t the man that Lan Wangji was ready to die for. I think his heart is very much filled with dread in this scene.

Jiang Cheng’s line is interesting too—basically, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Solid, really, but it does come with some problems in reality. The enemy of your enemy just might stab you in the back later. It’s a very simplistic view, but I think at this point, Jiang Cheng is just happy to see the Wens dead. There are a few he wants to kill himself, but he seems satisfied if they just die out, regardless of who does it.

I like seeing Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng team up for these few episodes, because it’s fun seeing how they each approach the situations. Jiang Cheng relies heavily on his heart and emotions, which I can totally identify with. He wants to find Wei Wuxian and he wants revenge on Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao—those are his two priorities. And then Lan Wangji is definitely more of a logical person—he wants to get to the bottom of these deaths and find out who is the person with so much wicked energy that is doing all of it—and also, that person is probably Wei Wuxian, who he is very interested in finding. Here Jiang Cheng wants to rush after Wen Zhuiliu, just as he did when he went back to Lotus Pier. He’s very rash, while Lan Wangji is much more calm and collected. I mean, if it were me, I’d want to see if they would give up any information before I killed them.

And the reveal is…Wen Chao is fucking disgusting! I didn’t even want to screencap one of the close-ups, because I felt like I’d have to do a trigger warning for blood lol. Not really, though, because I never do, sorry. I love the looks on Jiang Cheng’s and Lan Wangji’s faces, though. Jiang Cheng is so horrified and Lan Wangji is just mildly shocked. I think the real thing is like, who are we dealing with here? Who is this monster who’s been murdering everyone in all these different ways? Who has made Wen Chao look like this? Is this friend or foe? Like I said, Jiang Cheng keeps saying that as long as the person is killing the Wens, he’s fine with it, but I think even he is bothered by this level of mutilation, even against someone he loathes.

It’s hilarious to me that Wen Zhuliu uses this tactic with Wen Chao. Oh, you’re going to insult me? I’m useless? Okay, bye! LOL. Also very amusing that this is really the last conversation they have with each other: this bickering that they’ve probably done over and over off screen. Wen Zhuliu stays by Wen Chao’s side, though, because he’s indebted to Wen Ruohan, of course. It would have been a neat twist to see Wen Zhuliu defect. And you still could have had a dramatic scene where Jiang Cheng chases him down.

I love it! I love it I love it I love it! The flute! This part is so well done (it’s still a little campy, of course, but that’s part of the charm)! I mean, as the audience, we all know who it is by now, but I love that they keep up the mystery because Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng still don’t know. They didn’t see him walk in. I just love this.

And shock. Jiang Cheng looks significantly more surprised. It had never crossed his mind that the person doing all this was actually Wei Wuxian, the very individual that he’s been searching for. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, doesn’t really look surprised. He looks a little surprised, okay—I’ll give you that. But I think most of what he’s feeling right now is the deep dread of being right. He wanted to be wrong, even when everything pointed to Wei Wuxian. I don’t think he wanted to believe that Wei Wuxian was capable of this, no matter how much he wanted to get revenge for what happened at Lotus Pier. I think there’s disappointment there too—how could he do such a thing? And I’ve giffed this scene with this quote: “He started to estrange her…And they became strangers who knew each other’s heart, so broken as they drifted apart” (Ana Claudia Antunes, Pierrot & Columbine). I think the realization here and a bit later for Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian has become some other person is quite heartbreaking. He’s like a stranger to him, and that feeling of betrayal when you thought you knew a person inside and out—that hurts. It’s a deep-seated betrayal that Lan Wangji feels throughout this scene.

Oh, what I also like about this part is that when Wei Wuxian appears, neither one of them can look away. They are solely focused on him at this point.

He finally gets his revenge on Wen Zhuliu. And it’s great. They jump through the roof and he strings him up with Zidian. I can’t really say anything about it—Jiang Cheng needed to do this or he never would have been able to move on from Lotus Pier and his parents’ death.

WWX: Have I changed?

JC: No, not exactly.

I love that these lines are exchanged while the camera is on Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji already sees how Wei Wuxian has changed: the flute, the wicked energy, the almost senseless killing—none of these things are like the Wei Wuxian he’s come to love. And yes, I think love—and it hurts more because there is love. Lan Wangji wanted to walk the straight path with Wei Wuxian together, and he feels betrayed by what Wei Wuxian has done. Despite that, he still wants to help him. He implores Wei Wuxian to come back to Gusu with him so that they can help him and bring him back to the right path.

This whole scene feels like Lan Wangji isn’t even in the room, it’s like a private conversation between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji just happens to overhear. He says nothing. He lets Jiang Cheng ask a hundred questions while Wei Wuxian calmly answers them. Wei Wuxian smiles and laughs, he seems himself, and yet he isn’t. There’s something wrong and Lan Wangji grows more and more perturbed by it as the seconds pass by.

The tension in this scene is palpable. It’s painful, it’s sad, it’s really hard for me to watch. And yet, this is one of my favorite scenes. Lan Wangji is feeling a lot, and he’s held it all in until this moment here. He calls him Wei Ying, and then Wei Wuxian in turn addresses him first as Second Master Lan, and then as Hanguang-Jun, both very formal names. It’s not Lan Zhan anymore—there is no familiarity on Wei Wuxian’s part. I think part of that is his attempt to protect Lan Wangji from any association with him that might actually harm Lan Wangji and his reputation. He’s setting a boundary—a wall—between them. And then when Lan Wangji bites back, Wei Wuxian changes tack: he stars being informal with him again, he brings up how they were good friends, classmates, etc. But that’s not going to work because Lan Wangji is feeling pretty upset right now.

Lan Wangji is desperate, scared, and worried for Wei Wuxian. Sometimes when we’re feeling all that, it can come across as anger, and that becomes worse when someone is dismissive of those feelings. Wei Wuxian is definitely dismissive here. In their interactions, Lan Wangji rarely shows this much emotion, and instead of paying attention to that, Wei Wuxian brushes it off. Jiang Cheng shows that he cares by hugging Wei Wuxian, but Lan Wangji is different—he’s thinking ahead, he’s seeing what Wei Wuxian has started to mess with—demonic cultivation—which can destroy a person’s mind, and he’s terrified. His only thought is to take Wei Wuxian away and try to change him for the better. Of course, just like what his father did to his mother, this cannot work. Even if Lan Wangji manages to force Wei Wuxian to come with him, he won’t be able to control him. All Lan Wangji can really do is try to persuade him.

The intensity of Lan Wangji’s gaze here is something else. This is a man who is desperate to save the person he loves. He is really looking out for Wei Wuxian’s best interests here and is getting no support from Jiang Cheng. I don’t really know what’s going on in Jiang Cheng’s head right now, but he’s definitely finding Lan Wangji’s behavior offensive. He doesn’t understand that Wei Wuxian’s actions will lead to his ultimate destruction, while it is very clear to Lan Wangji. But all I can do here is bring up how they viewed the person who was killing all the Wens earlier, before they even knew who it was. Lan Wangji felt very unnerved by it: he was disturbed by the talismans and disturbed by the various manners of death, while Jiang Cheng’s stance always was that it didn’t matter because the person was clearly on the same side—a dead Wen is a dead Wen no matter who is behind it. And his opinion doesn’t change even after he finds out. It’s not important to him how Wei Wuxian was able to kill all those people. He asks the questions, but he isn’t interested in really hearing the answer. On the contrary, I think Lan Wangji is very interested in those answers, but he wants to hear about it in a controlled environment. He doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to go back to Yunmeng, where he will essentially live with free-rein without boundaries.

As for cinematography, I love how Wei Wuxian holds up his flute here, setting up a literal boundary between him and Lan Wangji. Not only do you have Jiang Cheng creating that wall with his sword, you also have Wei Wuxian. What I mean is, it’s not only Jiang Cheng who wants to keep Lan Wangji out. Wei Wuxian is drawing a line here too: he wants Lan Wangji to stay out of his business. And this morphs into, what happens at this place is not Gusu Lans’ business—it only concerns Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

We all know Wei Wuxian is an arrogant person, but his arrogance and ignorance here is truly stunning. Lan Wangji tells him point-blank that he won’t be able to control this energy if he uses demonic cultivation, and Wei Wuxian does everything but laugh at him. I enjoy this and I hate it at the same time, because Lan Wangji is just fucking worried, you know? And maybe he doesn’t express himself well, but he’s shocked to see Wei Wuxian here, shocked that he’s responsible for all this—he can’t stay calm and collected under these conditions.

In just a few minutes, Wei Wuxian says that he and Lan Wangji are good friends and that Lan Wangji should treat him better, as well as “Who do you think you are? What I do is none of your business.” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist. This scene here, with their faces so close to each other, kills me. This is absolute betrayal for Lan Wangji. It’s as if everything they had built together—all the respect, the affection, the comradery—is gone. The Wei Wuxian that he knew is gone.

I love the way this shot is framed, with Wei Wuxian staring after Lan Wangji, and then Wen Chao pleading, “Forgive me, forgive me.” So apt, because I think Wei Wuxian does feel bad here, I think he feels guilty. I think part of him really missed Lan Wangji and wanted to see him. I think he even knows that what Lan Wangji is doing is out of concern for him over anything else. But I also think Wei Wuxian’s pride gets in the way of that, and his desire for revenge, and even his desire for things to go back to normal. More than anything, Wei Wuxian wants to return to Yunmeng, to his shijie, to be able to live normally again, whatever that really means, because of course everything has changed. Nothing will ever be as it was again. More importantly, he has changed, and can never go back to the person he was before, the person who played so hard, the person who shirked his responsibilities and fooled around in classes, the person who shamelessly teased and flirted with Lan Wangji. That Wei Wuxian is gone. I think Wei Wuxian knows he’s hurt Lan Wangji and does feel bad about it, but he knows he has to push him away to protect him. He doesn’t want to drag Lan Wangji down with him, he feels it’s better this way. And I think, even though CQL!Wei Wuxian does have feelings for Lan Wangji quite a bit earlier than in the book, you can see the one-sided love here, in Lan Wangji’s aggressive behavior as he attempts to save this person he loves. Lan Wangji isn’t willing to give up on him, whereas Wei Wuxian is more prepared to let him go—to push him away to protect him. That’s love too, I suppose, but it’s a love that is meant to be from afar—a sad love, not a passionate one, not a desperate one, not the one that Lan Wangji feels for him.

This is so heartbreaking for Lan Wangji, in part, because they had such a special relationship before. Prior to this, Wei Wuxian prided himself in that he and Lan Wangji went on night hunts together—the clan didn’t matter, whether that was unorthodox or not. And now to see him use his clan as a barrier between them…it’s quite a betrayal. Lan Wangji feels so hurt, so at a loss—he wonders what could he have done differently to prevent this, he blames himself.

This is one of my favorite episodes because of this reunion scene. What you expect is some great reunion, the hugging between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, maybe a smile from Lan Wangji because he’s really happy to see him. But instead, you get pain. You get a Jiang Cheng hugging Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian not even returning the hug (he only raises his arm to signal that he wants to break apart). You get a heated confrontation between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, one that is “fondly” thought of as their break-up scene. I love the drama, I love the pain, I love the angst, I love the dichotomy between Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan, I love that this is the start of more tension between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, I love everything about it. The “us and them” dynamic that starts here is so great, and then to see it slowly unravel throughout the next ten episodes, to see Wei Wuxian’s and Jiang Cheng’s relationship fall apart, while Wei Wuxian’s and Lan Wangji’s relationship begins to strengthen again--I eat it up. It’s like my candy. Anyway, I’m excited for what’s to come, excited to talk more wangxian and how it compares to the book (from my dwindling knowledge, that is)! Happy that you all are coming along this ride with me!

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |

[potetosaradas]

the usual disclaimer for SPOILERS for E9 and incoherent DELUSIONAL thoughts:

WHEEWWW what an episode eh?????!?! YET AGAIN I find myself wearing my prickcest glasses and seeing them in LITERALLY EVERYTHING. This post is mostly just a collection of quotes that are tickling my brain.

looking into Bigfoot and Rick's relationship -> its fascinating to me how Bigfoot sees Rick (ANY rick, and he wants to destroy them on sight) kinda sounds like somebody else... we know... lmao

(also i dont know if this is a coincidence, but i thought it was interesting that Bigfoot went straight for Rick's face first and then MOURNED HIM???)

ALSO clone!rick making his escape and Bigfoot chasing after Rick, and using his desire to capture Rick to make himself stronger????? (not related to anything, but would have loved to see the show use Rick's thirst for revenge against him, like how the Pope used Rick (the naked imbecile lmao) to bait Bigfoot into doing nasty jobs for him anyway)

"SO YOU'D RATHER STAY DEAD UNTIL YOU WIN THAN LIVE AS A LOSER?" -> idk but this line kinda hit me bro, this feels like 1000% something that a Rick would do lol.

"it is over, my torment ends now" -> SOBS also did you notice how Bigfoot was smiling slightly before proceeding to FUCK RICK UP? i remember someone else was quite cheerful before going on to exterminate their archenemy lmao

"You assumed Bigfoot was dumb," -> YES, a problem amongst Ricks. this is taking me back to how Prime makes it a point to call every other Rick a 'Lesser' Rick.

"Underestimating people only gives people the high ground." HMMM

"Because I thought it was funny that you were stupid." "People are intelligent in different ways." "I-I'm clearly stupid at knowing when other people are smart." (okay this is just coming to me right now, but this line would be so fucking crazy if Diane was as smart as Rick)

"You hate me because I tortured you to get what I want, but I only used you to kill myself!'"

the naked imbecile was my favourite part of this episode lmao gotta love me some brainless rick LMAOOOOOOO

.

[maoam]

regular naruto fans (normies and not weirdos terrorizing tumblr twt etc) don’t see naruto as the feminine/pretty/innocent one, and always say if SASUKE is a girl they’d definitely hook up.... when i got into sns ff i’m always baffled at how these delusional writers mischaracterize the hell out of naruto and sasuke? you’ve already talked a lot about this on your blog but i just went through one whole day trying to find good fics just to end up getting disappointed, not to mention the amount of fanart here.......... a lot of sns shippers don’t understand their ship it seems it’s bothering me too much lmfao

Yeah I have seen some dudebros say they’d ship it if Sasuke was a girl “but no way I’m shipping two guys”.

I realized recently all the m/m ships I really like have a male writer behind them like I can’t get into BL shows and such. It just has a different flavor. And when most of the shippers are women, and most of the women are into men, the projection makes it way into the ship and they just aren’t the characters Kishimoto created most of the time. A while ago I read someone’s tags who didn’t ship sns in a post where they said sns fandom portrays Sasuke just as ooc as ss fandom. And I can’t really deny it. People make him such a straight boy despite being gay lmao like I don’t recognise him. People just don’t like Sasuke’s canon reserved, aloof personality.

And I know certain people don’t like this but while obviously not a 100% copy, Naruto is a reflection of Kishi in a way. In Kishimoto’s mind Naruto is someone with a persistent nature and sometimes rude attitude and rough around the edges. He both created Naruto from himself as well as someone an average Japanese boy can relate to. And they’re not going to relate to a pretty soft boy.

“You’ve already talked a lot about this on your blog” yes haha and I know a lot of people really can’t stand it, but there are also people who seem to really appreciate it. I do think there are a lot of ooc fics and many of them are popular, but I do think it’s better now than it was before, there is at least some variation. Same with fanart. Still I’d be lying if I said I’m drowning in content I like lol

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

With more articulation, I'm ready to talk about why the push for Lokius simply bothers me, and this can be said for other m/m or w/w ships that fans push to be canon so hard just because they ship it.

It's the framing. The framing that if Marvel doesn't do it (or whatever the brand is), it's because homophobia, and if other fans don't like it/ship it, it's because homophobia (even if they ship other queer ships and are queer themselves.) And the biggest problem with that is that it overshadows the REAL issue of lack of queer representation on screen in mainstream nerd media, especially from big things under the Disney umbrella (Marvel and Lucasfilm/Star Wars, especially.)

It makes it bad that your ship isn't canon instead of bad that there haven't been any queer romances on screen in the MCU.

And like, as a writer myself, I find myself dissecting the stories of other media all the time. I can watch an MCU movie or series and pretty much assess what direction the story is going in by the narrative points they're hitting. I knew Sylki was basically gonna happen (even if just a kiss) because narratively, that's what the show was doing as soon as they had that "what is love" conversation on Lamentis-1. It didn't mean I liked it. But I knew it was happening.

Similarly, there's no romantic undertones to Loki and Mobius. None. For Marvel to make them a couple, it would mean they'd be doing it simply because the two present as men and it would make stans happy. And while there's something to be said for fan service, it would be annoying to watch them cram two guys together who aren't romantic in the slightest. I'd much rather see Loki meet some guy and have the same type of undertones they were giving to Sylvie and form a real bond to where the kiss feels earned and warranted. Not just put him with the nearest man because "he gay lol."

And how you guys are claiming it's being queer that makes you want this is beyond me. It's not being queer that makes you want this. I don't want queer characters that fuck everyone of whatever gender(s) they're attracted to even when it doesn't make sense for them to. I want real love stories. I mean, yeah, sometimes we can have a slut character, because that's fun, too, but that's not even what y'all think Lokius is. You seem to want them to be in love. But why? Because he's the first friend Loki made that isn't through Thor?

I hate that, too, because I hate this idea that queer people cannot have friends of their same gender without wanting to fuck them. IDK how y'all are, maybe y'all are like that, but I almost never have wanted to fuck any of my friends. The only few exceptions have been when I tried to befriend someone I had a crush on (in which case, usually the friendship can't work, really, because I have a crush on them.) I also think it's okay if you can have casual sex with friends, or if you have a friendship that develops into romance, but Jesus, do you people not have friends that you don't want to fuck? I am bi, maybe more pan (gender kind of doesn't matter to me, I guess) and I'm friends with people of all kinds of gender identities and like... I love them as people, which is why they're my friends, but I DO NOT want to fuck them. Especially my closest friend. I talked about her, before, here, but she's like my sister. The thought of fucking her is gross, to me. Not because she's gross, but because it feels incestuous.

Loki shouldn't want to fuck Mobius just because they developed a friendship. And that's very much how it's written on the series. They almost dislike each other (or Mobius is at least indifferent to Loki) and then they become friends.

That's not to mention the power dynamic that exists, there. And I know some of y'all are subs, but yeah, it's a bit gross to imply a sexual relationship with Loki's captor.

But on to Sylki. It sucks that I feel like most of y'all hate Sylki because Sylvie is a girl, and not just because it's bad in other ways. Like, the reasons Sylki is bad have less to do with "it should have been Mobius" and more to do with it being a lazy 1980s action movie plot that should have never happened. I'm not as creeped out by the selfcest (as many of you wouldn't have been if she was a he, I'm almost positive), but what's bad about it is that they couldn't have a strong female lead character without her being the love interest of the main guy. She didn't need to be, especially because she was a Loki variant, anyway. There was no need for it to have romantic undertones, and there was no need for them to kiss. It was sexist more than it was homophobic (and I can't help feeling like y'all are kind of being biphobic in this case. Maybe I'll talk about that, later, but yeah.) It was sexist bullshit. And there's valid criticism that Sylvie is underdeveloped. She's just angry and something for Loki to project affection onto.

I was also hoping they'd do a "found family" type of thing with Sylvie and Loki and let her be like the sister he never knew he needed, but no, they had to go trope and make her the love interest. It was lazy and bad and basically went "If Loki girl, main Loki want bone!"

Basically, having the main character fall for a character just because of their proximity and gender is bad and I hate it (and it would have been bad with Mobius, too, but yeah.)

Both the Mobius and the Sylvie thing also feel kind of racist, to me, because the show has prominent Black women who aren't even presented as desirable to Loki. And y'all, of course, ship him with anyone but the Women of Color. Y'all can pull true love with Mobius out of your ass, but he couldn't possibly fall for the Black women. lol.

Anyway. Not every show needs ships, and this show shouldn't have had any. I hate it. It's bad.

I guess on the biphobia front, I have heard some takes that it's not biphobic because Loki being queer in the MCU which hasn't shown any queer relationships, and Loki being the first openly queer character means they shouldn't have shown him with a woman presenting character. Which, I guess I get where you're coming from... but I have also been in fandoms for a long time and I see mostly girls saying this shit, which is what leads me to feel like it's simply jealousy. It happens all the time when a long-beloved single male character/celebrity suddenly starts dating a woman. Everyone hates it. And like, we haven't seen Loki be with ANYONE in the MCU, because mostly he's been doing villainy and his dating life hasn't been relevant. If the demigod says he's bi, he can kiss a woman. Especially a woman version of himself. Like I said, I hate it for other reasons, but pretending it's because he should have kissed Mobius is utterly delusional. He probably shouldn't have kissed anyone. Not in this series. There was no reason for any canon romance, especially because the show has a season 2 and we'll have time to see Loki develop earned, deserved romance with someone.

I'd much rather see them create a character just to be his boyfriend than have y'all push Marvel into making Lokius canon, which is a nonsense ship that only happened because Mobius is the only prominent male-presenting character before we meet the other Lokis.

My sincere wish is for people to remember that their ships are just ships and to enjoy them without getting all self-righteous about it. I TOLD y'all that Lokius wasn't gonna be canon like 4 episodes back, and here y'all are acting shocked and like Marvel took something from you. NOBODY expected y'all to ship Lokius. It's not even queerbait.

You can make clear arguments as to why Sambucky was queerbait. It's there in undertones in the actual series.

You cannot watch Loki and tell me you thought it was queerbait, unless you think men can't have conversations or hug goodbye without being romantically involved. Which means, in my opinion, that you need to learn about healthy masculinity.

Again, this is not a defense of Marvel. They DO need to let characters be queer, for real, and not just by saying " A bit of both". Like, let Loki be queer. Let Deadpool be queer. Let these queer characters be queer on screen. Yes.

But please stop making it about your ship. I'd rather see a flashback of Loki dating a guy and see him kiss someone he loved back on Asgard than watch y'all force Lokius. Because my queer rep is not about your crackship. It really isn't. And the fact that y'all keep calling us homophobic for not liking your ship REALLY needs to be addressed.

Like, when will y'all stop? I got on Stucky shippers about this shit in the past. All of us gay as hell, too, we just don't like YOUR ship. A lot of us like other queer ships. A lot of us like queer ships in other fandoms, too, and even have queer OCs. YOUR ship just ain't it. Stop forcing it. Literally, most of the ship wars between MCU fans have been queer ship vs queer ship, not really queer ship vs straight ship. Like, the number one Stucky rival ship was Stony. Not Steggy. People are not homophobic for not wanting your ship.

Sometimes it's because they ship something else.

And sometimes, like me, it's because they want something to make sense narratively and not happen for the sake of it happening. It's always better writing to have a character meetcute a new love interest than to magically turn a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship. Like, even when the characters are straight. Like, when Moesha dated Hakeem. It was just weird, even if he was kind of a great boyfriend. He was just supposed to be her friend, and people didn't really like it because it didn't fit narratively.

And that's why ships for the most part should be left to fanfiction, with the exception of a few where fans are right to call out the writers for not making it canon because it's clearly bait (like what happened to Destiel shippers. To see Lokius shippers compare themselves to THAT was so ridiculous. Destiel shippers had a decade of evidence only to be let down by a criminally unfair ending. Lokius shippers saw two men have a deep conversation once and lost their minds.)

Anyway, I'm not saying don't ship Lokius. I don't even hate it, really. I just think it obviously shouldn't be canon, and fans pretending like they were robbed of it is ridiculous. Literally, Ao3 exists for this reason. I will never see Steve fuck Sam Wilson, so I wrote it into my fanfic. I am not mad that they didn't actually date in the main MCU storyline.

[lunarliza]

JJ Maybank Must Die | Chapter 3: Fanny Packs

fuckboy!JJ x Reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

JJ Maybank is the island’s most infamous fuckboy- not that you ever cared. But when a group of tourist girls come to your surf shop crying to you about him, you agree to help them plot revenge. Sabotage is all fun and games, until you find that the playboy you were sworn to ruin happens to be falling head over heels for you.

Yes, this is based on John Tucker Must Die lol

For once, you finally felt like everything in life was falling into place.

Sophia dropped off your Venus Panic ticket last night, you booked a ferry to the city for September, you just earned another ‘employee of the month’ title which basically meant you were a shoo-in for the scholarship, and you noticed in the mirror that your ass was looking just a tad bigger.

You were sorting out the application clipboards one afternoon when you heard the ding of the front door opening. In came a cocky head of blonde hair looking as smug as ever. You dropped the stack on sight. 

How did he know where you worked? Was he stalking you? Should you file a restraining order? 

“Uh, can I help you?” 

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding all this time, huh?” JJ crossed his large arms and surveyed the tiny shop.  

“Yeah... how the fuck did you find me?” You bent down to hastily pick up the mess. After the incident at the Boneyard on Saturday, you weren’t expecting to run into him again for the rest of the summer. You didn’t think he’d be this relentless. 

He casually shrugged. “Eh, I just asked around town for a y/n and they told me you worked here. Still amazes me how I haven’t seen you around.” 

You rolled your eyes. As if you and JJ didn’t have English together just this past semester. Nevermind living on the same island for how many years. 

“Anyways,” he continued, I came here to sign up for surfing lessons.” 

You flinched your nose. “You’re telling me you’ve lived here all your life and you don’t know how to surf?” 

This was coming from the boy that won ‘Most Likely to be a Famous Professional Surfer’ in your 5th grade yearbook. 

“Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve hit the water. Maybe I need a refresher.” He flashed you a shit-eating grin- the kind girls around here would swoon over. But in that moment you were just plain uncomfortable. 

“Sorry, we’re booked for the summer.” 

He inched closer to the counter. “Well, at least let me take you out to dinner. Come on, when are you off?” 

You glanced side to side in agitation, racking your brain for some witty remark.

“December.” 

“I’m serious, y/n. I want to take you out! You know, get to know you better,” he prodded. 

You weren’t born yesterday. But he sure was if he thought he was going to take you out anytime soon. Or ever. 

“Yeah well, I think I’ll pass. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my last session of the day in ten minutes.” 

Luckily, you were able to slip past him and out to the beach for your beginners’ class. It was a small group- an old couple and two boys around the age of nine. 

You greeted them with you usual work-charm and had them set their boards around you. Just as you situated yourself, you hear a faint “Wait!” followed by JJ sputtering towards the pack with a board under his arm. 

You wanted to rip your hair out. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” you spat, startling the old couple with you vulgarity. 

“I’m here for the lesson.” 

“Like I said,” you sneered through gritted teeth, “We’re booked.” The glare on your face was very, very potent, and you knew this wouldn’t be good for the reviews. 

“Yeah, your co-worker in there told me one of the guys that was supposed to be here said he couldn’t make it. So that leaves a spot open for me.” 

Cody. That rat! 

You sighed in defeat, motioning for him to situate next to the younger boys. “Fine, just take a seat and be quiet. You already missed the safety instructions!” 

All throughout your session JJ was an absolute pest. He could have at least played the part of someone who’s never picked up a surfboard in their life. Instead, every time you went into detail about a specific step, he’d pitch in his own comments no one asked for. 

“Well actually, it’s better if you add a jump when you stand up, you’ll go faster.”

“Well actually, if you try to pivot your board when they wave’s under you, you can ride it longer.”

“Well actually, if you attempt a big wave first, you’ll learn how to balance better.”  

The next ‘well actually’ you heard, you were going to fling JJ to the sharks.

When it was time for the group to hit the water, you tried to guide them through the motions, but everyone was too busy listening to JJ ramble on and on about his personal tips. 

For the remainder of the session, you sat on the shallow end, watching JJ have a rat-a-tat time with your customers. Blowing away a stray hair that fell on your face, you continued to glare at the light-haired boy cheering on the kids as they attempted the baby waves. 

There was a point where one of them leaned over onto JJ’s board and threw their arms around him. You softened at bit at the scene. It was very cute. 

Once the hour was over, you called everyone back to shore to give your closing remarks. JJ darted up behind the lot, sparklets flying everywhere as he shook his wet hair. He beamed at you, but you just averted your eyes. 

While everyone headed back to the hut, you tucked the cash you were given into your fanny pack and gathered your items to leave. That was, until you felt the player boy grab onto your hand. 

“Hey, the waves are absolutely insane out there. This is your last session today right? Come surf for a bit, you didn’t really get to do much earlier,” he offered, blinking down at you with his sky-blue eyes. 

“Well I would have if someone wasn’t running my class.” 

JJ let out a soft chuckle. “Look, everyone was happy with the way it went. And I’ll even tell your boss that you’re an amazing instructor. Which, to tell you the truth, you are.” 

You huffed and picked up your board to tread back into the water. You had to give it to him, though. The waves were indeed on fire that afternoon.

You were able practice a few moves you were working on, executing them perfectly. JJ, too, was flexing his tricks and you made a few mental notes to try a few of them later when he wasn’t around. 

When a pipeline wave began rolling your way, JJ tossed you a devilish grin, looking like a kid ready to break something. It was supposed to be one of the hardest ones to surf on. 

“Bet you won’t get this one!” he hollered. You flipped him off with a smile. 

“Bet I will.” 

You both eyed the target, determination evident, as you paddled. JJ quickly bounced up once it tumbled in while you waited a couple seconds after. 

Immediately, he plunged from his board while you expertly pivoted and glided along the tide. Poking his head from the water, he yelped seeing you nail it. 

Afterwards, you plowed back up the sand with him while he raved about what just happened. “That was so sick y/n! It was a pipeline! A fucking pipeline! I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” 

You blushed and tucked your hair behind your ear. “Well, it’s kinda my job.”

As you reached the shop, he turned to face you. “Yeah, speaking of, when do they give you a break around here again?” 

You chuckled and shook your head. “JJ, I had fun out there, but I’m still not going out with you.” 

“Alright! Alright! I get it. Can’t hate a guy for trying.” He held his hands up in defeat. 

You bid him goodbye and started getting ready to close the store. 

Later that evening, you met Sophia and the others at Annalise’s condo, spilling the beans on what happened. They all collectively gasped and hung onto their seltzers. 

“He actually came back?” Maia repeated as Arabella anxious gulped her drink. 

“Yup! Bothered me for my entire session and everything. God, he’s so delusional thinking I’d actually go on a date with him.” 

All the girls giggled except for Annalise who stared at the ground in deep thought. “But what if... you did?” she finally spoke. 

You grimaced. “Why on earth would I do that?” 

“No, like, fake date him,” she re-emphasized, “Think about it- you can fake-date him and we’ll go on your dates and sabotage the fuck out of him! Then, for the cherry on top, you can dump him before he even gets the chance to run! It’s the perfect ploy guys! We need to make sure he never messes with any girl ever again.” 

“Uh, I don’t know,” you scratched your head, “Can we really pull it off? It sounds so messy don’t you think?”

“Relax, we’re not killing him,” Annalise assured, “Also, it’s what he deserves! He’s broken practically every heart on this island. It’s time we take a stand in the name of our womanhood!” 

“That, I agree with,” Sophia added and the other two nodded. 

You were kind of shocked that Soph would be on board with such a preposterous plan. But, then again, this wasn’t the worst thing she’s ever agreed to. 

“You know,” your best friend continued, “I heard after you ditched him at the Boneyard, he hooked up with Emma Cohen the same night and ghosted her too. The boy just won’t stop!” 

Arabella gasped. “See! Rejecting him just isn’t enough! We need to kick him straight in the balls!” 

They did have a point. A twisted, ridiculous point. But you weren’t all gung ho about being the one to beat JJ at his own game. You- the girl who couldn’t even get Pope Heyward to take her to a dance. 

“All you’d have to do is bear him for a few dates. I’m sure we can take care of the rest,” Maia noted. 

Reluctance was still evident on your face. You could tell Annalise was getting desperate. “You know, y/n, I saw all the UVA gear on your locker at the shop. My dad’s best friends with the chancellor. He owes my family a lot of favors. How about I make a deal with you. If you do this for us, I’ll have my dad write you a rec letter and talk to his friend. You’ll be pretty much guaranteed a spot at UVA when you apply.”  

You let out an exasperated breath. Now that was an offer you couldn’t refuse. You wanted to put up more of a fight, but you didn’t want to let an opportunity like that slip from your fingers.

“Alright,” you sighed, “Fine. You sold me with UVA. Count me in your little scheming game again.”

Your friends cheered and clinked their drinks, eyes hungry for revenge. You sat back meekly and sipped yours, knowing the next few weeks were going to be an absolute train-wreck. 

“But wait!” you raised in the midst of the group’s plotting , “I shooed him away today. What makes you think he’ll be back to ask me again?” 

“You rejected him twice today?” Arabella questioned. You gave her a quick nod. 

“Oh girl, he’ll definitely be back.” 

-----------------------------------

Sure enough, JJ was back at the hut bright and early the next morning when you started your shift. 

“It’s you again,” you greeted as he leaned his arms against the counter, flashing you a smirk. 

He had on black aviators and a gray crewneck. For a second he seemed like a cute, innocent little puppy. Until he opened his mouth. 

“Don’t act so coy, babe, you know you’re happy to see me.” 

Oh God. This was the guy making half the island bawl in tears? You really couldn’t wrap your head around it.

You sighed, ignoring his corny-ness. “What do you want? We’re booked for the day.” 

“Ouch, is that any way to treat a customer?” He pretended to have gotten shot in the heart. 

As if on cue, Cody’s stocky legs strolled out of the back room, acting like he owned the place. He slid behind the counter to face you, disregarding JJ. You scowled and rolled your eyes.

“Y/n one of my customers had a complaint yesterday,” Cody stated.

“What? They had a shitty instructor? I could’ve told them that,” you shot back nonchalantly, inspecting your bare nails in disinterest. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see JJ snort in amusement. 

“Actually,” he prevailed, “They were complaining that their board was wobbly because someone let their customers take all the new ones.” 

You remained emotionless at his petty grievance. “What? It’s not my fault I don’t make my students do a hundred push ups at the start of the session. Maybe quit the crossfit and then they’ll actually leave better reviews.” 

Cody narrowed his eyes. “My students are grateful for my complimentary body-weight routine! They need to be fit for the waters. Whatever, stop fucking taking all the good boards! You’re taking away my customer experience, my good reviews, and my scholarship!” 

He proceeded to storm out the front door to his first set of victims for the day. You shot daggers at his back before JJ’s giggling snapped you back to reality. 

“Done,” JJ said, lifting his eyes from his phone.

“What are you talking about?” 

“I just left a bad review for that guy on your website.” 

Your eyes widened. “What do you mean?” 

JJ flipped his screen to you with the post pulled up. You read it out loud. 

“Do not recommend having Cody as your instructor. Made me do a hundred push ups before I got in the water, voice was too demanding, and shorts were uncomfortably short.” You erupted in laughter and playfully swiped his arm. “No way JJ!” 

“What?” he grinned and pocketed his phone. “Dude was being a real asshole to you.” 

You lightened up a bit at his kind gesture. Well, kind to you.

“Anyways, look,” he went on, “I know we might’ve started off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I wanted to come here and ask you out again. Properly.” 

You opened your mouth to speak, but he persisted with his rehearsed spiel. 

“And before you say no, I just want to say that it won’t be nothing grimey or weird. Just dinner. Tonight. It’s not gonna be the best night of your life or the worst, I just wanna get to know you.” 

You sighed and cocked your head to the side. “If I say yes will you leave and stop bothering me while I’m at work?” 

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” 

You blinked in disinterest. “Pick me up at seven. And don’t be late.”

--------------------------------

note: dUN DUN DUN!!! 

chapter four

tags: @obxlife @rudyypankow @yeehaw87 @ilymarkchan @jellyfishbeansontoast @tangledinsparkles @toloveortobeinlove @pixelated-pogues @normatural @teamnick @drizzlethatfalls @hazelgirl355​ @wicked-laugh​ @jjmaybankswife​ @ponyboys-sunsets​ @5am-cigarette​ @everydayimfangirling​ @angvelics​ @poguecollins​ @xealia​ @floridabornandraised​

[crisalidaseason]

I’m the anon who talked about Mikannie w you, i didn’t get to spend time in tumblr these days that’s why i’m sending this way after, but we all know that Mikasa married to Jean after and had a family and i actually like them since Jean is one of the only boys who would treat Mikasa right, but anyways i think that before they start to get together Mikasa and Armin tried to do more things that they couldn’t when they were in military and i definitely think that they tried to envolve with other people and explore their sexuality, and i always imagine maybe they both make out w Annie, i mean Jean wouldn’t be Mikasa first partner so i really think she would spend time w other people and having fun not w Annie in specific but since their interaction in s4 i think there’s a big chance, i don’t know about isayama but i don’t think he made Mikasa straight in the anime, but she really wanted to have a family, that’s maybe why he make her end w Jean, but i honestly think that if wasn’t for this and Japan were more accepting w queer people Mikasa could had something w Annie or Hisu, and for Armin he probably tried w different gendered people, i think the scouts after this all ended could have make out together like Jean and Armin anyways maybe a little too much

Yes, yes to all of that!

I know that Isayama probably didn't intend to make all the characters queer but they are open to interpretation the moment the story is published (every author should know that, there's no escaping fan interpretation and that's okay!)

So yes, I headcanon Mikasa probably involved herself with other people. Since she went back to Paradis in the end of the manga while the others (Armin, Connie, Jean, Annie, Pieck and Reiner) stayed in the main continent negotiating, Historia probably spent time with her and I think they had something going on. Sadly, Historia is a queen so they couldn't have a proper marriage and relationship so Mikasa probably settled with Jean afterwards.

Armin probably explored books and some piece and quiet (lol) but maybe had a little something with Annie, I don't think they would be lovers for a long time though. I was a huge Jearmin shipper back in 2013/2014 (delusional Shipp? Yes but I loved it) and I can see them flirting a little but I have a sensation Armin would really fall for another bookworm (a librarian or academic survivor).