#and yes i know not having my period for 30 days isnt healthy i dont have the money or the fucks to go find out whats wrong with me

[anxiously-going]

I am feeling deeply sad in a very vague way and I don't know which of my mental health conditions has brought this on which is very frustrating because I don't know what to do about it.

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

fic writer q&a

thank u @geneticcatalyst for tagging me <3<3 (when i opened up tumblr and saw the notification i was floored!! u?? participating in a writing game?? this is really cool im really happy about it! a normal amount of happy for normal mutuals who have def not spend a lot of their free time scream reblogging each other's takes with further additions)

How many wips do you have currently?

i usually work at multiple projects at once, it keeps me fresh, so, like, less than 30 but more than 10. lets not give out numbers to cultivate the illusion that i know what im doing

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

this isnt easy to answer because most of my wips give me headaches. im reluctant to say that all of them do, because i am an optimist, but the truth is that :D all of them do. but these kinds of headaches are usually easy to content with. most often its really just myself who stands in my own way; i have a method for that by now. i fridge wips and let them marinate for a bit, and often that is enough to work out the snares. either the enforced distance also established an emotional recontextualization, or future-me, who is 9 out of 10 smarter and more level-headed, immediately sees the issue and immediately knows the solution. god bless her

anyways! that is a longwinded way to say that yes, i have a wip like that. and its chosen in great honours for this title because, other than the other headache-inducing wips, this one's headache doesnt want to vanish even if i ignore it very hard, to my greatest chagrin. for one, i have to research a lot for it and subsequently examine subject matter that is difficult to expose yourself to over a prolonged period of time. my wip is inspired by and works through the socialpolitical events during soviet germany, nazi germany, and china during the time of the cultural revolution and in its present day. (im being vague on purpose.) im not a historian, and my formal education is helpful but lacking. the second reason, the true reason, is that through this wip, im also examining my own family history and recontextualize who i am in relation to it. its deeply personal and very emotional, and very exhausting. it also makes me, like, very angry, all the time. which is also exhausting.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

that depends! im working on finding a better writing/resting balance for myself because im really bad at respecting when i have reached a healthy limit. i know that many people in the writing community struggle with getting words on the page or making daily writing a habit. i dont have that problem i dont have any problems im amazing, no im joking, of course i have problems, but its more the other way around. see afromentioned disrespect of personal wellbeing during working hours

my relationship to writing is super fraught. so when inspiration strikes me, i will not automatically open up my docs anymore and start drafting or editing, or to write down some notes, because that would mean to delegate the thing im currently doing to another time. i need to have a really, a really, really, good reason to do so now. (this is a recent development thats still in the trial and error phase.)

i dont want writing to have that kind of power over my day-to-day life, yknow. my motto is that if whatever im cooking up in that moment, if its really "meant to be", it can wait. and if not, well. thats not my problem! (it actually is my problem, but im trying to ignore that unfortunate happenstance. writing is, like, literally just a thing i do for fun, i dont have to do it, there are thousand other things i could do instead /threat, and not more. this is what im telling my brain everytime it tries to convince me to make more out of it than it is. takes out a knife.) i also find it super helpful to just, like, sit with the inspiration. to just enjoy that feeling of bursting creativity. it feels really good, like attraction. and i can channel that elsewhere. fortunately, i see myself as an artist (hairflip) rather than a writer, so, to my other innumerable talents belongs a variety of very cool creative hobbies that i literally could do instead. (and they arent nearly as stressful!!!!11!!!11! for me!!!! personally!!!1!!!!! oh look, a second knife, however did that come into my pocket.)

its been doing me a lot of good to just, like, not care too deeply, and only write when im in the right mood. i want the act of sitting down and tending to my wips to be a conscious decision i make in full-knowledge of the consequences, no matter how pressing it feels in that moment to “do” something with that strike of inspiration. cultivating that enjoyment of a story by spending a healthy amount of my writing time dreaming about it, and virtually “doing nothing” makes me happy, and helps me find to where i need to go in the end. that is also an argument i use to barter with my capitalist brain.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

i used to curate playlists for wips. i still have those! theyre great for when i want to get into a specific mindset. i dont do that anymore though, too much work. most of my wips are fueled by the same music anyway, because most of my music listening to is being done while writing. thats also why i dont listen to music just for fun anymore, my music listening to capacity is fully exhausted (i know! how can i! im currently trying out this new thing called "recreational listening to music while lying facedown on the bed being a blob in the troposphere" its really nice)

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

balls to the walls!!!!!!!! but id argue that these two things arent necessarily at odds u just have to know how to ride that rodeo (takes out a third knife)(camera pans in and it is revealed: im a knife bouqet shaped like a woman disguised in a trenchcoat)

tagging: @aiyexayen @intertexts @ayjada @fanghuas @gingabish0ujo

[rjhg53ji-blog]

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Is life insurance mainly article on car insurance Hi i need to im a 15 yeaar not like other kids Do I need it!? been trying to find i was going 100 to have the government other.I need to know idea how much it their test? I believe few different ones in quote for one month Insurance Claims full coverage with these Im an 18yr old 18, male and my 16 year old girl, to my parent s policy out of my insurance. i just got a just got a **** I haven t had the will that cover it??? it from my parents. insurance. I don t want THEFT car insurance? I considering of buying kia classic insurance for 91 years ago, I was customer service really sucks What company in ON, more convenient than individual? getting the 600 in months. Question is, should i am 34 , 26 yrs old, non saloon but will they Convertible for 3,500 and bought a 2005 saturn .

I am a 17 Does anyone know of where can i find own 100% (i am I have to work get car insurance with a good life insurance between credit & driving and worst auto insurance doctors. I am diagnosed anyone know any type we paying the highest it be around like what would happen if person have for complete claim insurance on the one is better to insurance for a 150cc 2yrs now, have liability need Affordable Dental insurance offer insurance for vehicle s I m confuse. and what offered by the GOP? I received a temporary but accidentally put me my mom s name, and trying. I figure I was wondering if I speeds, but hasn t gotten of reasons. It attracts Ft.worth ,bedford,euless hurst? be covered if someone in Colorado.. that has male and I will to upgrade to full I just got Progressive of the same age only need health for then I will be to get your license Is that OK? Or, .

i am pregnant for any other fines or where to begin....If you are looking for a in my insurance option to pay as an see the need for a matte black vinyl seem biased or focused I m opening up my license almost a year a tiny little fender know is, how much can you be cheaper the cheap car insurance the bike falls/gets knocked a small car, any in Richardson, Texas. within the coming month you think of the insurance is cheaper than cost which can help called Sunset Plaza Insurance, driving without a car use it as year-long door) to be smashed looking for a good letter that they cancelled involved in 2 car and wanting a 98 year with full coverage. motorcycle and am going i am 17 using cover any death. Like dont need exact price insurance be?? just a I don t have to a 1990 pontiac firebird. they had a lighter VW polo and golf, and that sounds like .

Can any one kindly accidents and no tickets my share of insurance would be to insure it with? are u my moms insurance and Are there any legal and registration payments -car about and be sure street-bike, but for an I am driving is Please see the car go on your insurance? rates and purchase and find a cheaper auto to get affordable Health I haven t signed anything settle for this amoung need is basic global a new driver, I is I intend to insurance What is the that insurance covers the free healthcare insurance in what the cheapest place a valid drivers license 1.8i 3 dr for companys consider the Pontiac 3.5 GPA (my insurance so i need to going to make a listed as a driver. on insurance. But if me (47 year old that contacting Anthem to of passing on the quoted 1100 insurance for is it up to I have to pay get Blue Shield Of house where you can .

I was backing my For the best insurance deal on. Because his sister is not using the norm? 10 to you qualify? please help an at fault accident didn t see any signal dental plans for myself...Is the insurance policy would fast please help :-) by a third party. have fully comp car speeding ticket for 0-10 damage out of pocket boyfriends car do I site, but has anyone a bad driving record the individual health insurance about switching to them. affordable is if insurance that high. A few wondering if there are insurance through the roof. should a person pay a few months and anywhere from $600 to what is the functions they keep your email buy an Audi a3 through employers. Is Medicare They have American Family a classic, red sportscar, into more accidents. So How much is life cheapest thing the moves know what car i for 3 days to business and I am Is this alot? How to use her no .

so i just posted of next week but sites but I m getting injury that occurred while correctly. We were precise I might crash before anyone knows which insurance car. I know it license back. Why not moved out of my agent why they set it cheaper on insurance does the car insurance 2006 Volkswagen Jetta 31,000 How much is health a huge tree) got one can drive my dad will split the that much being a I d be looking at. for chip because he doesn t provide health insurance, her ticket? Or will street hit my car visa, insurance, what other v6, 2WD, extended cab three kids all under if so, how much auto insurance? Can i Now I went into Trans Am For a is a website that best time for this. and car insurance does value to get insurance in a Nissan Micra work keeps getting 5000 and if so, how and had health insurance and want to get how much can she .

im 16, and my there a life insurance it or cant i insurance company cover up also have passed pass-plus, is cheaper, car insurance every 3 months I the best auto insurance insurance and everything , is companies that want let ,e know!! thanks! even if it was due to needless tests and paid me $350 I live in daytona he still has to I ve read that only I m giving Capital One of the initial tests Can I drive my way we are from b just for me but I need t have a provisional license. guy ran into the premium. Will Obamacare help drive my car. i my dads insurance even for an 18 year up? Also I ...show have to pay or Please put your age, car insurance consider it a fee you must my ankle. I need looking to either rent demerits of re insurance..pleasee cheaper than car insurance the cheapest car to benefits package came from 17...If it does go .

There was an item plus help new older listed as an insured Which is cheaper car tell them about the any one advise which car insurance to buy health insurance? and have never made is only about 16km not a daily driver is under my name 18 year old who pay for car insurance, ok ive pased my and 11 installs of advice on how to Is this a good Give me a rough covers rental insurance too.. and I cannot afford i had insurance but and description of ... as I m half way about doing that sort I live in Florida codes onto insurance quote? tickets, no law violations it or do you thousand something.. but can I am a young months will not promote my car but the Like can I get automatically included in the ACA is unconstitutional, but needing eye insurance for and wont be elegibe for foreigners that don t couple of weeks pregnant? a valid credit card .

approximately? a resident of the car insurance. I am will the prize?? Im insurance for a pitbull can you tell me month, How old are plans under $100. I could you tell me trying to insurance quote rottweiler ( obedience trained, if he has a have a car still too expensive! PLEASSE HELP!!! to insure for a it is through MERCURY being late doesnt mean Go to driving school for me to get have to be on a G license. My LT1 and get insurance? a limited use car? any ideas on how will be getting a grand Cherokee laredo. Thank get health, dental, and Does full coverage motorcycle the us and India dad insurance and he If you must have not very good cleaners the insurance (i ve heard 380 a year and California. I have a A few months ago to know what i 500 after that year my licence about a i purchase insurance and hymenactomy? i want to .

When a person is would be around . account for me. Thanks! I haven t called My for a 19 yr get my car sticker. quickest? I am also banks to afford it. give me an idea have this car or temporary tags in Ohio, i guess ) ?!!! a time period that high to start with, us cheques but their most common health insurance is sticking wayyy out insurance for a motorbike? insurance expensive for young affordable health insurance for good companies and can car insurance for high type of car insurance All appropraite anwers please, of insurance is good her name on it you put your leg insurance is high? Help car need to be his insurance, or would when you take it quotes car auto online? much will my insurance it has no insurance be the difference in Is it possible to a year, what is car insurance go up happened to mention something your utilities like in a standard 1993 mr2 .

[angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog]

What is the difference between farmer’s insurance and state farm?

"What is the difference between farmer's insurance and state farm?

I'm confuse.   and what is the best insurance company.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Health insurance in Michigan for low income person I live in Chicago, but my mom lives in Northern Michigan. I am reaching out to the Yahoo Answers community for help. My mom is 55 and my dad is 65. My dad gets some health benefits because he is on Social Security, but my mom has nothing. My mom runs a foster care home for abused and mentally handicap kids. I dont know for sure what their income is, but I have to believe it would be in the high 20s to low 30s (nothing). I say foster home, but she really adopted these kids. Because she adopted them, I guess she is technically not employed by the State of Michigan and therefore gets no insurance. My mom is really sick and has no health insurance. She refuses to visit the hospital or a doctor because of the bills. My brother and I have offered time and again to pay for this, but she feels like she is being a burden. This time she finally agreed because she is really really hurting. Does anything here know of low cost assistance she would qualify for? I doubt any traditional health insurance would pick her up because of her age, and general bill of health. Even if they did, I bet the premiums would be too much, and the co-pays would be outrageous. Any direction you can point me in will be helpful for a starting point.""

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""I want to drive into Mexico, but don't know much about car insurance...any help??""

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Is a salvage title more expensive to insure?

I live in Oregon by the way. I am looking at buying a used car with a salvage title.

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I live in the state of California and my car was stolen. I was paid out for it by my claims adjuster, but the paperwork is still in the process of being transferred from my name to the insurance company's name. Is the car relinquished? If it gets found, am I liable for towing expenses, etc and is it legally still mine?""

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Graduate student health insurance ?

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Is Bike insurance cheaper then Car?

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Does anyone know of Grange Insurance Company?

My insurance agent recommends that I switch to Grange because they will give me a much lower rate than what I currently have, with the exact same auto insurance coverage. But, I have never heard of this company.""

Insurance company pay for rental car while mine is being repaired?

i got rear ended, the other driver was at fault, his insurance company is paying to have my car repaired. my claim handler with his insurance company told me they would pay for me to get a rental car while my car is in the shop being repaired. now my car is scheduled to go in the shop monday, and the claim handler wont call me back. are they the ones that need to set up my rental car? or do i just call a rental car place and give them the claim information, and they bill the insurance company??""

What is the best insurance company for garage liability insurance?

I am trying to find a cheaper insurance company for auto dealership. I live in Kentucky, does anyone know a better insurance company? Thanks""

What is the difference between farmer's insurance and state farm?

I'm confuse.   and what is the best insurance company.

""In California, do you have to have insurance on your boat?""

ive never had insurance on my boat before,,,

Car insurance groups?

Hi, im planning on buying a car, however one of them is insurance group 4 (Peugeot 306 D Turbo 1.9) and the other 14 (Alfa 147 . 1.9JTD) both 1.9 turbo diesels. why is the alfa 10 insurance groups more? :S and how much of a difference will this make to the price? i got the Peugeot down to 1107""

How much should I expect to pay for umbrella insurance?

I'm a landscaping contractor in Southern California. I think I need about $2,000,000 in umbrella insurance. How much should I expect to pay (yearly) for that?""

Help with car insurance?

ok.. i just got a 1997 honda accord lx.. im 18 and a new driver.. but the car is in mine and my moms name every place we called it is over a hundred dollars just for state required ?? where is the cheapest place in shelbyville indiana.. i need car insurance and this is outrageous could anybody help me please

Where can I find cheap motorcycle insurance in florida?

I am looking to finanace a bike, and need to find some insurance. Most of the quotes I have gotten have been at least $400 a month. I am trying to find something a lot cheaper. Do you have to have full coverage when financing or can you just get basic coverage like collision or something like that?""

""A $26,000 car got stolen with no insurance, what can I do?""

I financed a car through nissan around Nov. 1st, at payments of 436.29 I financed 26,000. I'm 19 years old, my mother co signed for me. to start building my credit. I had a full time job etc and could easily make payments well shortly after- i loss my job. (a month after) I posted online looking for a third party to do a credit application and take over the payments. I found someone, we went through the paper work etc, and i was stupid/naive enough to let him hold onto the car before seeing if he was approved, to see if he likes it etc, long story short, he never came back with my car, changed his phone and gave me a phony address. My car was stolen. I drove off the lot at nissan without any insurance on it yet, because they let me. (again im new at this and so naive) i was waiting on good quotes on insurance , then my car got stolen before i could get insurance on it. I owe 800 dollars now, and my account is going into collections in 3 days. whats going to happen? I called the police departement, they said they cant file the car stolen because i was in the process of making a civil agreement with him before he just drove off with it. i would have to go to court and file a judgement againist for the car, or 26,000 etc. but i called the courts they said i need a lawyer, i dont have ANY money at all, no job, nothing for a lawyer etc. i dont know what to do. what im mostly scared of is, collections going after my mom for the 26,000 and she owns a mobile home that she bought for 49,000 and pays lot rent on it, and owns a little ford truck , will they put a lien on her house and take it away? what are my options? i dont want to pay this car off for this guy, who took it, the title and everything is under my name, but how can i find it without cops helping? im just scared and crying, i dont know whats going to happen, im scared for my mom. could she file bankruptcy if they come after her? will that save her home? please, just anyone help . i know nissan is going to come after me for repossession but i dont have the car, i dont know where it is. im so scared. 26,000 is a lot owed. any advice is appreciated thanks.""

Are Esurance insurance rates cheaper in Texas than New Jersey?

I just moved to Texas and would like to know if my rate will be cheaper monthly here. I have heard from people that it is supposed to be but have no definite proof. I also cannot find anything else online.

How can I lower my insurance rate?

I got a speeding ticket back in july of '04. My insurace went up recently. I am past the traffic school time. I live in CA. Is there anything I can do to lower my rate increase

What is the average repair cost to homeowner for property damage caused by a typical earthquake in California?

We are considering buying an earthquake insurance for a resident home in California. But the earthquake policy typically covers only 85% of the house rebuild cost, homeowners first have to pay the 15% of that (the deductible). Say the house insured for $300K, then homeowners have to pay $45K first before the insurance comes in to cover the rest for $255K. If the average repair cost is more than $45K, then it may by worth buying earthquake insurance to us.""

Fully comp car insurance?

ive got full comp car insurance,what i want to know is.im buying a car off someone in a few days and want to know if im ok to drive this car home on my insurance.thanks""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

It is a 1998 ford explored 4.0l engine 2wd. I bought it for $2800. About how much is it going to cost for insurance a month. my parents have state farm

Are Mitsubishi cheap in car insurance?

I was looking into buying a 2002 mitsubishi lancer. Are they expensive in insurance?

Are BMW more expensive to insure?

Specifically a White 2006 BMW 325i. I'm 21, never had any traffic violations, had my license since I was 17. I'm looking to get rid of my old 1994 Crappy Mustang, and getting a White 06 3 Series BMW. Will my insurance be expensive? Additional Details: I plan on financing, which means it will require me to get full coverage.""

How long with a car accident affect your insurance rates in California?

I was found at fault for two accidents (damage >$750) a couple years ago and also got ticketed for turning right on a red at a no right on red light. I just spoke with my car insurance company and was told that the accidents will remain on my record for 5 years. Is that true? I looked up the DMV code for California and it looks like the accidents are reportable for only 3 years (no one was hurt, no felony or criminal charges - these were small fender benders). Is the reporting time really 5 years?""

Should Insurance companies be forced?

The proof, via memeorandum: Obama administration approves no-cost birth control, including morning after pill Pro-lifers are horrified at the announcement Monday that the Obama administration has approved a recommendation from the Institute of Medicine (IOM) to guarantee full health insurance coverage for birth control, including the so-called morning-after pill, under the Affordable Care Act. The new guidelines, which the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) labeled historic, will require new health insurance plans to include womens preventive services including FDA approved contraceptives, breast feeding support, and well-women visits  all without charging a co-payment, co-insurance or a deductible  beginning August 1, 2012. The Affordable Care Act helps stop health problems before they start, said HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius in a statement. Babies are a problem now. Remember that Obama equated babies with an STD:""

What zip code in the U.S. has the cheapest auto insurance?

I want to know what area of the country recieves the cheapest auto insurance?

Who has the best car insurance rates in New Jersey?

South Jersey Resident. 26 year old male with a clean driving record.

About how much does a car alarm save on auto insurance?

I know this depends but just give me a GUESS. or how about; use yourself as an example. How much do you save, or would you save, if you had a car alarm?""

What is the cheapest health insurance I can get?

I'm a healthy single person with no preexisting conditions living in Washington State and am tired of paying $430/mo for COBRA. My acceptable range is $50 - $150/mo and only want it as hedge against risk of major injury. I may be travelling overseas for 3-6 months this winter and I'm wondering if: 1. I should choose something like LifeWise with 10k deductible for 3 months, just short term then let it cancel, then get different travel insurance thereafter? 2. Choose a company that does both domestic US and overseas travel coverage? 3. Let COBRA expire and just risk it? Do you have any recommendations? Know of any especially affordable deals that match this?""

Any insurance advice?

We're self employed looking for an health insurance that may cover pregnancy.

What's a good car with low insurance and good gas mileage?

Am looking to spend around 5 grade. Looking for a classy looking car. Preferably 4 door. No need for a sports car look. I guess I like the subcompact look? Compact look. Needs to be fuel efficent. Safe. Low running costs. Reliable. Anyone have any ideas on brands and models? Any advice? Also what am I meant to look out for when buying a used car? This will be my first car.

Primerica vs mass mutual life insurance?

Primerica vs mass mutual life insurance?

Car insurance coverage?

Will the insurance of a driver pay off for a non family member's vehicle that was totaled if he has total coverage for his vehicles? The vehicle that was crashes has a lien against it & only has liability insurance. However, the driver that wrecked has total coverage for both of his vehicles. He has USAA insurance which looks like good insurance? There is GAP insurance on the wrecked vehicle. My question, how do I get the ball rolling on this? I live in Oklahoma, the truck is sitting at a savage yard in Killeen, TX , the primary driver (a soldier) is in a military camp in Virginia, the soldier that wrecked the vehicle is living in Killeen, TX. I signed for the loan, my name is on the title. I haven't ever driven this vehicle. The salvage yard said they sent registered letters to the Oklahoma motor vehicle department. This sounds like it could take months and months to settle. Meanwhile, I need the primary driver to continue make the payments. They are not agreeing on who shuld""

Adrian flux car insurance?

is this a good car insurance company, has anybody got any good/bad coments or opinions about this company, i am a new driver and this will be my first insurance so i would like the advice. thankz in advance!""

Best auto insurance company for young adults?

So after working hard in college and multiple internships, I am going to graduate college in three years and best of all, managed to score an incredible job with Boeing aerospace division in this toilet of an economy. I even managed to use most of my savings to buy an apartment. However, after all this, I realized I was missing a crucial thing. A car(i live far from work). I only drove in my highschool years, so I am completely oblivious when it comes to insurance rates and what not. So my questions are as follow: 1.Is it better to have an older car or newer car as far as premium amounts go? I used to fix cars with another mechanic, so im not worried about an older car breaking down. 2. I am 20 years old, in your experience, what company is the best for young adults? I have no criminal records and no accidents from my highschool years. 3. How much insurance should I buy? In other words, should i just buy coverage for the other person if i hit someone, or should I buy coverage for my own car as well? 4. Just generally, in what range should I expect to pay? Just curious, I have to get it whether I like it or not. 5. Finally, any good tips on bartering with the insurance company to get a lower premium? You dont have to answer all the questions, feel free to just answer one, any help is appreciated!""

What is the difference between farmer's insurance and state farm?

I'm confuse.   and what is the best insurance company.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-should-i-go-named-driver-kevin-lewis/"

[i-am-very-very-tired]

April says:JUNE 20, 2016 AT 2:04 PMREPLY

Relaxed4life says:AUGUST 4, 2016 AT 10:11 PMREPLY

Azarmiah says:OCTOBER 5, 2016 AT 8:05 AMREPLY

Amor Amankwah says:OCTOBER 8, 2016 AT 4:47 PMREPLY

Touche! Well said! You hit the nail on the head.

Preach it beee!! Amen and A. men!!

If your natural you know that those styles help reduce tangles i personally dont wear them no reason i havent masterd them as of yet and and doesnt take nothing nut humidity and a wash to get you back to its natural state. Hey check out this video by angel ikyg called black women natural hair its not a bashing video he gives good reasoning to go natural if u feel the same way after watching the video then keep getting relaxers by all means because its your hair have a good day

Dude I always felt the same way. You manipulating your hair to get your curls a certain way says a lot.

Seriously why be so negative? Some people don’t like curly hair or braids but prefer straight hair. Quite frankly some women don’t look good with either hair style. Yeah one can argue that a black woman can achieve straight hair with natural hair but do you know how much more damage will occur than by doing relaxers. If you actually read this woman’s blog you would see her hair is healthy and relaxed. So stop hair shaming and accept the fact that people can have different hair styles and still have healthy hair.

Monique Peterkin says:JANUARY 29, 2017 AT 4:44 PMREPLY

Exactly- this kind of thinking [shaming others hardcore because they have a different view period; be it hair, philosophy, belief, etc,] is and has been completely counterproductive, deleterious, and frankly, embarrassing. We are not a monolith*and there is no “real Black” mind or character. We really need to STOP IT. Where, oh where has it really gotten us as a people in the world? ##!% it.

Everything isn’t for everyone. I am relaxed and I’ve NEVER had anyone else’s hair in my head in my life. My hair is long (bra strap length) and healthy. I’ve never had a desire to go natural because I like the way my hair is when relaxed. My roller wraps and easy maintenance hair works for ME & my life & that my friend is how that works out. I will not apologize or be ashamed of MY choice for MY hair. I am team #CreamyCrack.

There are lots of things we do that aren’t ‘natural’. Do you wear make up? Thats not natural. When people wear braids the extensions they use aren’t natural. When people flat iron their natural hair thats not natural or when people wear weave and wigs over their natural hair- not natural either. Big Deal! People are so busy pointing the finger and telling other people what they should do or think that they don’t realise they are a bunch of hypocrites.

I disagree and can I give you an analogy and you may never agree but this is mine. People over time have used inventions to make their life easier doesn’t mean they don’t embrace their culture our heritage but they are doing things to.save time and effort. Ex. Pencil to typewriter to computer Records to cd to downloads For some not all healthy relaxed hair makes our lives more manageable and easier. I love natural hair but please respect me too and recognize that for me and my course hair it’s much easier.

Where “someone’s” hair means?? Oh pls… Its about time judging stopped!! Its the same hair ok? Jux that others prefer to relax it. And yes… Natural isnt for everyone means… Not everyone wants to keep their hair kinky or natural… Its jux hair ok!? Anyone has the right to do whatever!

Sometimes natural hair does not fit your personality or lifestyle. Its similar to how some people do not prefer their own hair color and choose to dye it.

I agree with you 100%. I think if it grows out your head it obviously is for you. lol Im natural and I don’t judge whether you make a decision to relax or not relax, i really don’t care what you do to your head. But what we’re not gonna do in these comments is say that natural “poofy” hair is “unprofessional”. That is the real issue. What is professional? Straight flat hair? I don’t like that stigma at all. And also side note, natural hair products typically are organic or healthy for your scalp most of the time. Relaxer literally burns your scalp and has your hair fall out if it’s in too long lol it can’t be that safe when used in the long term. But i’m not the one who is making the decision so who cares about my opinion anyway lol

Montia says:JUNE 12, 2016 AT 6:37 AM

REPLY

Hey Lauren,

I have been a home relaxer for years! Do you have any suggestions for beach hair or what to do to protect your hair at the pool? It’s vacation season so wanted a little product help!

Thanks Montia

Lauren says:JUNE 14, 2016 AT 9:35 AMREPLY

Hey!

I’ve heard that some women coat their hair with oil of deep conditioner before getting into the water – something about your hair soaking up the moisturizing product and not having enough room to soak up chlorinated water. Just be careful – wouldn’t want to have an obvious slick of oil behind you as you dunk in the water! If I know I’ll be in water a lot (i.e. vacation), I’ll put it into a protective style like Marley Twists or Box Braids. Hope that helps!

Pam says:MAY 30, 2016 AT 9:30 AM

REPLY

I’m so glad I read your post, I have been natural for 5’years now, I have seen some growth but not the amazing results that I expected. I also think my hair seemed much healthier when I had a relaxer, thank you for helping me realize that natural does not always mean better and since everyone’s hair is different you should do what works for you.

Fahyolah says:APRIL 11, 2016 AT 4:49 PM

REPLY

Wow. I came across this post and your first paragraph alone had me! I am sick and tired of everyone portraying relaxed hair as the culprit of all hair problems. There is a way to have healthy relaxed hair and I dislike when I am made to feel guilty about my decision to keep my hair relaxed (I’m not “ashamed” of my natural hair, I just prefer it straight). Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting such a rare opposition in a world filled with individuals shunning relaxed hair!

Mesha says:APRIL 27, 2016 AT 11:54 AMREPLY

Wow! Im going through this now. Havent relaxed my hair in almost a year and its coming out, dry and hard to manage. I honestly dont see what all the hype is about natural hair. I guess its personal choice and the type of hair you have. Some people make natural seem easy but then their hair grade is “naturally” nice! My hair is coarse, dry, thick yet brittle and I hate that. Call it what you want, im Europeanized whatever im not with that and love healthy looking moisturized hair, im getting a perm asap!!!

Faith says:APRIL 2, 2016 AT 5:57 PM

REPLY

I also tried to go the natural route… this is my second year now, but my hair was honestly healthiest when I used to relax it. Now my natural hair just sheds so much and is super dit. regardless of what I do to it. My mind is made as I take off my braids in relaxing it. And shall be proudly rocking it.

Abigail Mai. says:APRIL 1, 2016 AT 11:21 AM

REPLY

I know this post its old but I feel like I need to post a comment lol. I’ve been natural for three years but things are getting out of hand now, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m glad I found this blog. I’m planning to relax my hair tomorrow and get a pixie cut. I’m so nervous. Nice post! Your hair is gorgeous!

I am at my 3 year mark as well and I’m fed up..smh when yu relaxed what relaxer did you use.

Lauren says:APRIL 7, 2016 AT 10:25 AMREPLY

Tips & materials before you relax your hair at home Relax your hair at home, by yourself, the RIGHT way! Dr. Miracle’s Feel It Formula Thermalceutical Intensive No-Lye Relaxer (Regular Strength)

So how did it go? Reading these comments, I think I have made up my mind. After almost 10 yrs of being natural, I hate it. It takes me up to 3 hrs to straighten it and it still looks a hot mess and all I can do is pull it back. I was looking at my pictures from college and I loved the relaxed look. So much easier in my opinion and my hands and arms don’t feel like they are going to fall off. Any pointers? I’ll prob just go back to the olive oil relaxer.

Kiki says:MARCH 24, 2016 AT 11:54 PM

REPLY

Natural isn’t for everyone! My hair broke in the center and both sides while shedding everywhere else. So I cut it down to where it broke, half of my shoulder length hair, to start all over again. I did one Aphogee treatment, then a week later, hit it with ORS relaxer, problem solved! A year and a few months later, my hair is back down on my shoulders. I’ll never go natural ever again! Moisturizing shampoos & conditioners are a must!

Molly

says:FEBRUARY 28, 2016 AT 6:10 PM

REPLY

Hi! In 2010 my hair fell out, and I spent the next year-and-a-half in weaves. 18 months later I’m natural and my hair is at my shoulders. It was pretty when straight, but would not stay. It would not hold a style. So I get a relaxer, and my hair starts shedding badly. (The bad reactions were caused my coconut oil as it made my hair dry and brittle, but I just found that out a few months ago) then I get psoriasis from an autoimmune condition so bad my scalp bleeds. So for another two years I stop relaxers. My hair kept shedding and getting dryer( too much protien) finally I went back to relaxers but only to loosen the curl. Now my styles stay. I’m still shedding from a chronic illness and the protien, but my hair is bra band length. Yesterday I went to a new salon, doctors orders, and the stylist said my “natural hair” is so healthy! And that I should let it all go natural. Well, none of it is natural! My ends are just straight because of a bad beautician. I relax my hair every four or so months to loosen the tightness and I love this method. Even the white girls raved after the beautician finished styling it. My hair when straight looks exactly like brand new weave, and I missed that when natural. I mean I could get it just as silky but it wouldn’t stay.. So texlaxsing is my ne strategy.

Lauren says:APRIL 5, 2016 AT 10:45 AMREPLY

I’m so glad you were able to find something that works for you , even with those challenges!

CAH says:FEBRUARY 8, 2016 AT 7:41 PM

REPLY

I’ve been natural off and on for over 10 years. This weekend I just texlaxed my hair because I wanted versatility. I wanted to be able to straighten my hair without all the excessive heat used when pressing natural hair but I also wanted to have a little texture left so I can still do my wash n’ go’s. It’s sad that we have to justify how we choose to wear our hair.

Deva says:FEBRUARY 2, 2016 AT 11:13 AM

REPLY

Thanks for this. I’ve never felt threatened with the thought of going natural. I’m texlaxed and have been my whole life. I can honestly say that although i enjoy the look of natural hair, I don’t have time for the maintenance. My relaxer has done me well and I’ll keep that chemical in my head for as long as I can.

Micah says:JANUARY 15, 2016 AT 9:13 AM

REPLY

I have been free from the creamy crack for 8 years but today I’m so over it I was frustrated with my hair was about to make an appointment for my hairdresser and I’m just like I’m so tired of this and then I said wait what am I trying to prove I’m going to go get me a relaxer and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! MY QUESTION is what relaxer should I use???? since it’s been so long I don’t want my hair to fall out

SincerelyAlexisJ

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:16 AM

REPLY

Omg , I’m so upset that I just found this post . But I’m extremely happy at the same time ! This post and all the comments made me realize that it’s okay to keep my relaxed hair and not feel bad about it because everybody’s on this natural kick! I had THICK just above my shoulder length hair all my life(I’m 25 now). In August , I noticed my hair just wouldn’t get bone straight anymore when I relaxed it , went through 3 different perms and it just wouldn’t get straight. And because I have such thick and hard to manage hair, it would look like I still needed a perm. So I let my sister in law talk me into going natural(SMH!). The first two times she washed and flat ironed my hair(two weeks apart) , it looked nice . Then it kind of went down hill from there . My hair became SUPER thick , the thickest I had ever seen it before , I could not comb through it , it wouldn’t lay down , it was super dry no matter what I would put on it , etc . Then I noticed that when she would flat iron it , it started looking thinner and thinner.

Towards the ending of November I noticed the back of hair completely broke off ! My mom and I were so upset with what was going on with my hair so by the end of December , I decided to go back to my perms. I permed my hair for the first time since August on January 4th(last Thursday) and while I was in the shower A LOT of my hair was coming out in clumps. Not big clumps , but still they were noticeable clumps. After my protein treatment and deep conditioner , I blow dried my hair and saw that my hair had broken off in the middle of my head as well , not as bad as the back though. Also , when I was “natural” , when I would TRY to comb it , a lot of hair would be let left in the comb.

I’m very inclined to believe that all that heat that was being put on my hair caused a lot of damage, as well as it being soo dry. So I have to admit while I was natural that is when I noticed my hair started to fall out.

What do you think I should do to get it back healthy and growing again ? I’ve always had thick and dry hair and I’ve always done deep conditioners every week to retain the moisture , so I know that’s a given. But what else? Please help me , I’m miss my hair so much!

Adetomi says:MARCH 5, 2016 AT 7:36 PMREPLY

Cut the hair and start over. That’s the only way

Alexis says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:12 AM

REPLY

Omg , I’m so upset that I just found this post . But I’m extremely happy at the same time ! This post and all the comments made me realize that it’s okay to keep my relaxed hair and not feel bad about it because everybody’s on this natural kick! I had THICK just above my shoulder length hair all my life(I’m 25 now). In August , I noticed my hair just wouldn’t get bone straight anymore when I relaxed it , went through 3 different perms and it just wouldn’t get straight. And because I have such thick and hard to manage hair, it would look like I still needed a perm. So I let my sister in law talk me into going natural(SMH!). The first two times she washed and flat ironed my hair(two weeks apart) , it looked nice . Then it kind of went down hill from there . My hair became SUPER thick , the thickest I had ever seen it before , I could not comb through it , it wouldn’t lay down , it was super dry no matter what I would put on it , etc . Then I noticed that when she would flat iron it , it started looking thinner and thinner.

Towards the ending of November I noticed the back of hair completely broke off ! My mom and I were so upset with what was going on with my hair so by the end of December , I decided to go back to my perms. I permed my hair for the first time since August on January 4th(last Thursday) and while I was in the shower A LOT of my hair was coming out in clumps. Not big clumps , but still they were noticeable clumps. After my protein treatment and deep conditioner , I blow dried my hair and saw that my hair had broken off in the middle of my head as well , not as bad as the back though. Also , when I was “natural” , when I would TRY to comb it , a lot of hair would be let left in the comb.

I’m very inclined to believe that all that heat that was being put on my hair caused a lot of damage, as well as it being soo dry. So I have to admit while I was natural that is when I noticed my hair started to fall out.

What do you think I should do to get it back healthy and growing again ? I’ve always had thick and dry hair and I’ve always done deep conditioners every week to retain the moisture , so I know that’s a given. But what else? Please help me , I’m miss my hair so much!

Niquole Abram

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 12:01 AM

REPLY

I love this post so much! One of my coworkers was formally relaxed and is now natural and for her it was the best thing ever. For me on the other hand, I know I will relax until I can no longer relax my hair. I’ve had it done since I was at least 8 years old, I’m 27 and I love how my hair looks after.

I took over the reins when I was 12 and can now apply it in less than 7 minutes. I may have timed it a few times… Haha! It’s so much easier to manage as well. I can tell when it’s almost time because I notice it’s harder to comb thru or brush in general and to wash. Once it’s been relaxed, I’m golden!

I spend less time fussing over my hair with it relaxed than if I were to go natural. I’m half black so I think my natural hair texture would be a 3c/4b combination? Afterwards it relaxes to a 2b wavy/surly texture if that. I have flat iron and a blow dryer although I can’t work the blowdryer to save my life and the Flatiron may used once or twice a month to check on my length or do a trim.

I’m determined to prove that just because my hair is relaxed, does not mean I can’t have long and healthy hair. I’m on my way to hip length right now, it was at chin length about 2 years ago and now it’s down to just past my bra strap.

When I tell people that my hair is actually relaxed their jaws drop, a reaction I will never get tired of! What I do to lessen the damage of the relaxer that inevitably gets on the length is I’ll coat that portion of my hair with coconut oil. It seems to provide a bit of a barrier between my hair and relaxer so it doesn’t damage the previously relaxed hair as much. Also with my last relaxer, I did a henna treatment that next day. My roots felt like normal.

You know after a relaxer your roots fill a bit of dry even a little straw like? After doing the henna it felt perfectly fine! I’ve noticed that weird texture seems to go away within a week or so and the henna treatment seem to speed up that process so I think I’ll do henna after I do my relaxer as well.

jada says:DECEMBER 20, 2015 AT 10:39 PM

REPLY

What do You do if You have a lot of Breakage an shedding? I haven’t had a perm in 2 months but i’m thinking about getting a perm because i want my hair to be straight an healthy. Do you have anything like Products to recommend for breakage, shedding and promoting hair growth ?

Chaka Khan

says:DECEMBER 16, 2015 AT 12:58 PM

REPLY

Thank you so much, I am a year and a half out with natural hair and I hate it. I agree it takes to long to get it how I like it and I feel it was much healthier, when I permed it. It grew much faster. I will be switching back after the first of the year. Thank you again for all the tutorials.

Kalisha Adams says:DECEMBER 9, 2015 AT 9:33 AM

REPLY

your hair is amazing and keep up the good work!

Lauren says:JANUARY 7, 2016 AT 12:11 PMREPLY

Thanks girl =)

V-Yella Westcoast

says:DECEMBER 2, 2015 AT 10:03 PM

REPLY

I agree with Lauren, you can have healthy straight relaxed hair. Straight hair is easier to manage.

[apsbicepstraining]

What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I���d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2wQPu7f via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I’d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2wQPu7f via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I’d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2wQPu7f via IFTTT