#and yes i accept that she acted in her own self-interests when she talked to maria

[allthetropes]

some of you folks were NOT listening to the Baroness Schneider when she was talking to Captain Von Trapp and it shows

[guided-by-stars]

Everyone’s always talking about facades in ISAT. Loop’s facade weaving itself into their true self, Siffrin’s acting breaking down over hundreds of performances, how Isabeau uses masks to cover his insecurities. But not all facades are constructed purposefully and not all are so consciously maintained.

I think a lot of people underestimate Mirabelle. Both in our world, and in theirs. She’s very disarming, isn’t she? Anxious, biting her nails, conciliatory, kind, overly careful with others. The first member of the party, the protagonist, but always letting everyone but herself take the lead, except when dealing the final blow on the King. You’d be forgiven for thinking she’s shy. But she’s not, is she? She was given incredible responsibility by her mentor that could, by all her knowledge, be dead, and instead of crumpling under that pressure, like many might have, she seeks out the Defenders to ask for their help, and even after they deny her, she ventures out, with only one person by her side, unquestionably dedicated to her quest to save Vaugarde.

She’s incredibly brave! And smart too! It’s hard to stand out in that regard, when you’re traveling with a Researcher, head always buried in books, reached the age of 40, almost twice as long on this world as you have been, and a man who grew up the literal stereotype of a nerd, who still knows how to calculate numbers in his head in an instant as if it’s nothing, and this mysterious traveller who has been disarming all these traps for you and finding all these keys and has an incredible number of random skills and survived on his own for how many years? But Mirabelle is clever and perceptive! And the most emotionally intelligent and least repressed out of anyone there. She always notices when Siffrin is feeling awful and attempting to hide it. In Dormont, in Act 3, she asks if he’s okay, and when he says that he is, she straight up pushes back against it and says that she’s pretty sure that he’s lying about being fine. She’s aware that Siffrin has put up a wall, she just doesn’t like overstepping. If she was the type who didn’t care about pushing boundaries, she would have confronted him far before Act 5. And she knows how to do so many things!! She’s taken over a hundred classes. One thing about Mirabelle, is she’s absolutely ravenous to learn. Everything.

Sure, she holds some things back. She’s not open about how much responsibility she feels has been placed on her back, and is nervous about how others will perceive her lack of interest in dating, but overall, she’s far more open about her own feelings than anyone else in the party. When she’s anxious, she says it. When she needs help, she accepts it. Now this. Is crazy.

And then there’s her interest in the schadenfreude of it all. The morbid. Mild mannered Mirabelle loves seeing little guys being put through… the horrors. (Oh Mirabelle…you would love In Stars and Time) She has a collection of gory books in her bedroom, and takes the horror anthology into her pocket when you find it. Part of it is because seeing others in danger makes her aware of how safe she is by comparison, part of it is the catharsis, the emotional relief of seeing the Chase being fulfilled. But I think some of it is just fascination and curiosity. As mentioned earlier, she desires very deeply to Learn Everything. Learning how someone might be torn to bloody pieces by the Beast? Part of that.

Mirabelle is kind, sweet, and cute. Yes. But she is also incredibly capable, clever and perceptive, tremendously brave and courageous, and is fascinated with horror and gore and danger. When Euphrasie blessed her, said that she was the only person who could have done it, she was right. I feel like people in general are prone to flattening out optimistic and positive characters and seeing them as more shallow, while digging deeper into more negative and externally emotionally turbulent ones. Mirabelle is not shallow!!!

And all of that is said without any mention of her fixation on Changing!! I am going to explode!! This post is too long already but maybe I’ll make another one about her unhealthy fixation on always Changing and how that drives almost everything she does, both before and during the same!! It is so core to her psyche! Ahhh fantasy religion!!

[kyunniebuns]

˗ˏˋ Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Healing ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 034 ✦ ┆・

[ TW: Depictions of Body Dysmorphia, Internal Misogyny, Fluff Ending ]

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Can you send a message to pretty little princess hiding in your heart? Tell her that her knight in shining armor is here ] ¡! ❞

For a long time, you've hated the idea of being a girl. In desperation to fit in with everyone else, you purposely acted like a tomboy. Pushing away those barbie dolls, mocking the idea of liking make-up, being disgusted with the other girls hating to get dirty.

All of that for the sake of fitting in, all of that for the hope that maybe if you become cool enough in everyone's eyes by not acting like a girl— You would find acceptance and validation from everyone around you.

But now, now who's laughing?

You're a grown woman now, and yet you cant even apply lip gloss or any make-up. Your clothes? Shabby long sleeves and hoodies, shirts that make you feel bloated and icky.

Your own body makes you so uncomfortable that even looking at your own face in the mirror makes you gag. The sight of your eyes, tho round cheeks, those awful dry lips— It made so sick in the stomach you purposely avoid mirrors as if they're going to kill you.

Despite how terrible you felt about yourself, despite how much you hated mirrors— You somehow capture Jinwoo's heart.

That perfect, perfect boy.

A clean shaven face, fluffy hair that always misbehaves but makes him more charming, a small smile that feels like it's lighting up the whole world— Yes. That perfect Jinwoo is your boyfriend.

And despite him not giving any hints nor saying anything, he knew of your self-destructive habits because of your appearance. Truthfully, there's nothing wrong with you, you've always been perfect. But even if JInwoo told you that— The only replies he gets are nervous chuckles and fidgeting.

He really didn't know how to help you at first, he wasn't a girl.

Ah, but he has a sister.

So he approached Jinah regarding you. She was perplexed by her brother's confusing statements since Jinwoo is so unsure of what to say. So instead, Jinah suggested he observed you more than he normally does.

And observe he does.

Jinwoo would often peek on your phone, not that he's worried that you'll be cheating since he's always around you even if he's not there.

He noticed a lot of things, your pins often involved dresses, your favourites had various pictures of make-up and other pretty things. It intrigued him, after all, you never shown interest in girly things outwardly.

Once Jinwoo had done enough watching, he knew the problem right away and how he could solve.

So, on one faithful day on your date in a mall— Jinwoo purposely passed by a shop that had similar dresses he saw on your phone.

Your gaze would wander absentmindedly towards the displayed frilly dress that had strawberry patterns on it's graceful fabric.

Bingo.

"Pretty colour, don't you think?" Jinwoo asks out of nowhere, leaning down a little towards you.

"H-huh?" You sputter, realizing wha you have been doing. "Well... It's fine I guess"

"Come on" Jinwoo gently tugs at your hand, guiding you to the store. "Let's see if there's a size for you."

"Hey!" You squeak, grabbing his arm to try and stop him. "I-I don't wear dresses! It won't look good!"

"It will," Jinwoo gently smiles, flicking your forehead. "I wanna see you in a dress, so come with me, yeah?"

You reluctantly sigh in defeat, letting Jinwoo drag you into the store. The man was quick to move about and get the dress, pushing it in your hands and then directing you to fitting room. Jinwoo waited patiently, until he saw your little head peek from the curtain of the dressing room.

"Come out, baby" He coaxes softly, as if he were talking to a little child hesitant to show themselves.

And when you do, Jinwoo felt his breath hitch. His mouth would slightly hang open, his grey eyes complete still as it gazes upon your beautiful figure adorn in that pink strawberry dress. The way it so gracefully lands on your curves, eloquent and meek. The flowy freels making you look like you best belong in a fairytale book.

Jinwoo felt like he just fell in love all over again.

"I-I knew it, it looks stupid!" You cry out, immediately shutting the curtain but Jinwoo sprang up to his feet and prevented you from hiding away.

"Hey, hey, sarang" Jinwoo chuckles, "You look pretty, I just couldn't talk for a moment hahah..."

"But..."

"Sarang, can you look at me?" Jinwoo cooes softly and you hesitantly meet his gaze. "See that girl in my eyes?"

"She's the prettiest princess I've ever seen"

His words make you shy, like it always did. Somehow, Jinwoo had a knack for making you shrink into feeling like a giddy little girl in her birthday.

"So, will the princess please spoil me by wearing more pretty dresses?" Jinwoo asks, his eyebrow cocking up a little as he leans down. "Hm?"

"Okay— ???!!!"

You couldn't even finish talking as Jinwoo shoved atleas tten dresses into your arms.

The rest of the time? Jinwoo swears he almost died with every dress he puts on. His heart was bleeding a river at this point. You're such a pretty girl. How come you've never tried such clothing?

Jinwoo could tell that you absolutely enjoyed it, the way you were hopping around, spinning a little to watch the fabrics float and twirl along your movement— The look on your face proves that you have been dying to feel this way in forever.

He adores that smile of yours, more than anything else in the world. If you look this happy in such clothing, he can only imagine what you must have gone through to not have the courage to wear pretty things until today.

In the end, Jinwoo bought at least 15 dresses off of his wallet and the idiot seemed to be even more happier than you do.

Just as you thought Jinwoo would be done for today— The man decided to drag you into dior where at this point you wanted to cry.

"Nah-ah~" Jinwoo hums, continuing to guide you inside.

He scanned through the lipstick sampling area before picking up a single shade, holding it up to your lips.

"Come now," He says gently, and you obeyed.

With a mouth slightly hanging open, Jinwoo started applying the lipstick with intense focus. His stare was boring into you, it was as if Jinwoo is currently doing something extremely important.

After a few more seconds, Jinwoo swipes his thumb under your bottom lip.

"Look," Jinwoo turns you around, showing you your the lipstick he had applied on you. The color was magnificent, suiting your sweet features and making you appear dolled up even by just a little. "This colour looks so good on you, sarang."

"Why?..." You ask, pursing your lips. "You keep..."

"Spoiling you?" Jinwoo finishes your words for you, his voice growing a bit quieter. "I know it's rude, but I snooped around in your phone and found that you are very fond of pretty things. Not that I minded your current appearance, of course not. But I can't help but notice that you somehow feel like an imposter in your own body. So what am I to do as your boyfriend? I help you come out of your shell."

"My pretty little thing, if you want something, tell me" Jinwoo kisses the side of your head affectionately. "Didn't I tell you? I'll always help you whenever you need me, just say the word and I'll do it"

"If you want to be a princess, then I'll help you become one. So wont you tell that shy little girl in your heart to come out and play with her knight in shining armour?"

You didn't answer, but that was more than enough for Jinwoo to confirm what he needs to. So he picked a few more colours of the lipstick he knew would look good on you. He'll start out slow with buying cosmetics since he doesn't know much. Maybe he should ask Jinah once he's home.

After succesfully purchasing the lipsticks, he gently intertwines your fingers as he guides you out of the store.

"Why don't you say we test these out at home?" Jinwoo muses. "I wanna see how well they'll stain"

Oh that devious smile on his stupidly handsome face, you knew at that moment Jinwoo was planning to probably kiss you until he cant breathe.

꒰ A/N: I'm struggling to embrace my own feminine side, despite my age I don't know how to wear makeup nor do I wear pretty things. I still have a very bad case of body dysmorphia, so I made this fic to heal me and maybe even allow me to be a bit more confident. I hope you guys don't mind this very selfish fic</33 ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[itsuki-minamy]

"K – LETTER STORY"

RED: "DEAR MY FUTURE SELF"

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

Write a letter to your future self!

Anna watched the television program, which featured a scene from an elementary school classroom, without even thinking about it. Anna has never been to school. She is a Strain who has a powerful sensory ability, so she spent her days being a victim of experiments in a facility, and just the other day, she was rescued by the Red King Suoh Mikoto from "Homura" and came here.

On television, children write their questions and hopes for their future.

"Sounds interesting. Let's try it."

Totsuka, who was watching the same TV on the other side, smiled and said that.

When Totsuka thinks about it, he acts quickly. The reason he is a man of many interests is that he immediately does anything he has the slightest desire to try. Totsuka bought stationery and an envelope and gave them to Anna. Anna obediently accepted it.

"In how many years will you write to Anna?"

When Totsuka asked her, she thought silently. Anna's adult self was now too far away for her. For Anna, who has lived a tumultuous life from a young age and has just arrived in "Homura", the future seems to be within her reach...

"Five years from now?"

"That's great. Five years from now, Anna will probably be in high school."

He didn't think that Anna, who didn't even go to elementary school, would be able to attend high school, but he nodded slightly.

"What about you, Tatara?"

"Yes, I guess I should write too!"

After saying that, Anna watched Totsuka go down to the bar, then he went to his room and took a pen.

"Here, King, write something too."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything is fine. As long as it is written in your own handwriting, it is fine."

When Anna went down to the bar, she heard loud voices. Totsuka is about to give Suoh a pen while he drinks at the counter, and Kusanagi is polishing a glass and tidying up.

"If you can't think of anything to write, just sign it. Oh, I can think of an interesting King signature that I think would sell well."

"Don't sell, don't sell. What are you talking about?"

While she was there, Totsuka noticed her and greeted her.

"Anna, were you able to write the letter?"

She nodded and approached Totsuka.

"Did you write a letter to yourself, Tatara?"

"Eh? I didn't write it to myself. What I, or rather we wrote, was a letter to the future Anna."

Totsuka picked up the paper from the counter and held it up with the back facing Anna.

"Hey, we write too!"

Yata, who was sitting on the couch, raised his fist and said that happily. Kamamoto also shook his belly and laughed.

"It's like a message and it's fun."

"I made sure Saruhiko writes too!"

"You are very persistent, Misaki."

Totsuka folded the paper that seemed to have everyone's messages written on it and said, "Will you let me put them with yours?" and pointed to Anna's envelope containing a letter addressed to her future self.

Suoh watched the scene without thinking.

+++++++++++

"It's letter from the past."

When they got home from school, Kusanagi said that and handed an envelope to Anna.

Anna was stunned for a moment, then immediately remembered that event from five years ago. At that point, she entrusted the envelope to Kusanagi, who laughed and said, "I agree to deliver the letter in five years."

She accepted it gently and opened the seal.

[I don't know what to say to my future self, so I'll write down my current feelings, no matter what happens in the future, I'm glad I got Mikoto's red. I'm glad I came to this red place. That is what I think.]

That's what was written on the paper in childish and clumsy characters.

A lot has happened since then. Suoh and Totsuka are no longer there. Anna became the "King" who inherited the red of Suoh, and she also chose to part with the red by destroying the Slate.

Even so, she never felt any regret that betrayed her feelings when she wrote that letter. She also took out another piece of paper. There were messages written with various letters.

[How is the future Anna? Are you having a fun life? Anna is smart and she can do anything, so I hope you can do whatever you want. LOVE! Tatara Totsuka.]

[I'm sure Anna will be a wonderful big sister in five years. If you have any problems, please tell me in the future. I will always support you. Izumo Kusanagi.]

[Have you started laughing and talking? I don't know much about you yet, but I'm sure we'll be good friends in five years. Be careful! Yata.]

[Anna, have you grown up? You're probably still growing, so eat plenty! I'll tell you about any delicious restaurant! Rikio Kamamoto.]

[You don't have to deal with idiots forever. Fushimi.]

Looking at the letters on the paper, Anna's mouth went slack and she could almost hear his voice.

In the corner of the notebook, Suoh's name was written in a slightly deformed font, probably forced to write by Totsuka. With the same letter on that side,

[Live as you want.]

That was there.

Anna's expression looked like she was crying and laughing when she heard those words from someone who had lived the life he wanted and then passed away.

"It's okay. I'm living my life the way I want."

[thewebcomicsreview]

hey, just wanted to say thanks for the rec for Cat Girl. it is the best kind of extremely uncomfortable! but it's got me musing on your note about the relevance of the cat girl element itself. I agree that it is depicting an abusive relationship, but it's clear that Peter is completely incapable of perceiving that that's what it is, because he's so far down a deeply screwed hole of ideology. (continued in a sec, hang on-)

- so Peter is the way he is because he has accepted a series of small explanations for the things in his life as seeming accurate, that has stacked up into a deeply dysfunctional worldview that he's too deep into to question at all. so I think the Literal Government Issued Cat Girl is very much a metaphor for a society-level case of "you don't question your own idea of normal". rather than address the root of the problem, a wildly unethical bandaid has been slapped on it. in other words; Peter doesn't question that his ideas are correct, when they're obviously very skewed. but the society that gave him Andi doesn't question that it is normal for people to get this twisted up in an effort to make sense of the world. of COURSE there are internet chuds, people like Peter existing is "normal". and in the process of just accepting that some people are unsalvageable, innocent people like Andi get hurt, and that's just "normal" too. Peter isn't unfixable. it's clear he could be better, WANTS to be better, because he is straight up miserable. but he doesn't consciously know that, or how to start. the decision that some people are just fundamentally screwed up and there's nothing anyone can do about it doesn't just hurt him, it lets him hurt the people around him. Andi is, metaphorically, everyone else being tossed under the bus alongside Peter by the simple act of treating him like he's just inherently a shitty person.

Man, this is a long ask! If I were the author of Cat Girl, I'd be honored to see someone spend so much time thinking about it. But I don't think I agree, exactly.

Peter wants to "be a good person", yes, but his understanding of what a "good person" is is completely self-centered. Him calling Andi "Yua" while talking over her trying to explain that she does in fact have a name is obviously establishing him as a douche, but it's also worth noting that "Yua" is a Japanese name. He's thinking of her as an anime waifu and not a person (or, given the first results when I google "Yua", a porn star, but maybe it's a Breath of Fire 2 reference)

And while he falls into depressive self-loathing after she complains about not having a change of clothes, his internal monologue is entirely about himself. At no point, ever, does Peter even consider that Andi has feelings or is anything other than a reflection on him.

When he locks her in a closet, his most overtly abusive act, he starts crying because he feels bad about what a bad person he is, but even while he's crying he's simultaneously blocking the door, which is a very literal depiction of their relationship. His angsting about being a good person is not his way out of the problem, it is the problem. He never even once considers being nice to Andi because she'll like it, it's entirely "I don't want to force her to have sex with me (because that would make me feel bad), but maybe if I'm nice to her she'll initiate the sex". And he doesn't even care about the sex itself, just the implicit validation of being Confirmed Good By A Girl.

Peter is the way he is because his morality is entirely self-centered. Andi is a way for him to prove his morality to himself (well, try to and fail), not an actual person whose feelings he's ever considered except for if she hates him or not. That's what makes him such an interesting villain, he keeps concocting a story in his head where he's the poor sweet babu trying his best and never stops doing that to let his girlfriend out of the closet.

[goldenheartstudios]

I wanna talk about the monks' fears

  Disclaimer: Spoilers for those who haven’t watched this show from 2003 (And if you actually didn’t watch it, then do it. Why are you here in the first place?)

  With that out of the way, it’s time to indulge into my hyperfixation once again

  You see, one thing that I really like about Xiaolin Showdown is its combination of simplicity and subtlety. There are some things that are as they’re shown, and there are other things that are actually more detailed than they seem and you can miss them on first watch

  As such, the show encourages you to go deeper, to think beyond what it’s shown in front of you and have your own interpretation on things

  And one thing that always left me think is episode 10 from season 2, where we get to see each of the monks’ fears, because what we see can be taken in a simple and literal way

  But you can also go deeper and break each fear into a core concept

  First, I wanna make note of the fact that each fear has something special to them. They have at least one thing that help them be different from each other, which is something more notable when you take them one by one to analyze

  And this is what I plan to do

1. Clay’s fear

  The thing that’s interesting about Clay’s fear is that it’s the only one about someone. If the others’ are represented through animals or objects, his is represented by not only a real person, by a relative as well

  You can also easily take his fear as it’s shown: he fears his grandma because he had a bad experience with her. You can put it as a simple trope of fearing your relative, which was most likely the intention (and honestly, she does look scary in her own way)

  But aside from that (and my personal feelings of relating to his fear), one thing that’s important to note is that children, just like adults, can subconsciously associate things with feelings. Sometimes their fear is straight forward: they fear it because it looks scary. But sometimes, their fear is associated with another emotion, but they’re not fully aware of this and they deem the “object” as scary instead of the real reason they were afraid in that situation

  To put it simply, it’s like conditioning: you get a bad emotion from a thing, so you learn to avoid the thing, without realizing that the problem is the emotion and not the thing itself

  And since these are supposed to be their deepest fears, it makes more sense that they’re associated with another feeling than just being scary

  With Clay’s fear, I would say that it’s related to the lack of control. The way he talks about her makes it seem that she was something he had to endure, which would make sense because if they visited her as a small child, then he had no choice than to accept her doting which was actually painful

  And it would make sense if his deepest fear is the lack of control, because one of Clay’s core traits is strength within self, which is affirmed by his feeling of relaxation and comfort. He’s someone who likes to chill and vibe in his own way, and when he has to do something he doesn’t like, we can feel him being awkward or uncomfortable, an example being the episode when he followed his father’s orders

  Yes, he can act with anger in unpleasant situations and stand up for himself, but as I stated before, it’s most likely that he endured the unpleasant visits to his grandma when he was young, when he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. So, it makes more sense why his grandmother is the image of his fear of lack of control, because these were the moments when he lacked control in his life the most

  This fear of lack of control has its benefits, but also its downsides. On one hand, it helps him be focused on what he can do and how he can use the knowledge he has in order to be in control of situations. On the other hand, he has a subtle avoidance of things that he’s not certain about, and he can either become too set up in his comfort zone, or he’s too thrown off in situations that he’s not familiar of (for example, his stage fright)

  Which it’s interesting to think about. Clay is a character who has stable principles and he’s defined by strength, both internal and external, but his desire to maintain this sometimes leads him to a bigger passive role than he would want to. And if it goes to extreme, it could have an opposite effect and make him question his value and strength

  Just some food for thought

2. Kimiko’s fear

  One thing that’s worth noting on the spot is the doll’s appearance. It was probably meant to look like this to fit in with the creepy doll trope, but it also makes it different from others for another reason

  Unlike the others, this one makes you think on the spot, it makes you immediately have questions like “What happened? Why does it look like this?”. Its appearance alone tells a story, by hinting that there may be a different reason why she’s afraid of it, not just because it looks scary

  And from the looks of it, it seems that the doll got burned, which is even more interesting, considering the fact that fire is Kimiko’s element

  Now. I did see some people theorizing that Kimiko activated her powers and accidentally burned it, which I’m honestly 50/50 about this idea

  On one hand, it would immediately make a lot of sense why she’s so scared about it. She was a young kid who experienced a supernatural and dangerous event out of nowhere, and she possibly spent years in confusion about what happened until she got the revelation that she’s the Dragon of Fire

  But on the other hand, even if I read some good stories with this subject, I’m personally not into the idea of the monks showing their elements before they joined the temple. Them using their elements always felt like something gradual, like something that evolved and developed along with their skills and that at the beginning of the show they only had the potential and capability to use their element. Sure, maybe they showed an interest/drive to it, but that was never something that defined them

  My personal interpretation is that they were never defined by their element, their element was defined by them, if that makes sense

  Which is why I prefer to think that she accidentally burned the doll through other means, which would also make sense. Kids can easily do reckless things, and Kimiko showed in the past how her curiosity and experimentation can cause some issues, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that she wanted to try something out with fire and burned the doll as a result

  But this also leads to the question to what fear she’s associating the doll with, because it wouldn’t be danger, as he bravery is a strong element to her

  With that, I would say that she associates the doll with guilt. Another core trait of Kimiko is her compassion, as she easily offers her care and understanding to her friends. Yes, she can be hot headed and impulsive, but it’s very clear that helping others is in her best interest

  And as a result, she immediately feels guilty when she makes a mistake, when she’s hurting others, whether she’s mistreating someone or her ambition leads to problems instead of solutions

Deep inside, she’s afraid of regret, of doing things that could make things worse, and the doll is a representation of that: maybe it was the first time she did a mistake like this, and the first time she felt guilty because of it

  This fear of regret is interesting, because it can go in conflict with her bravery: she’s not afraid of danger, of taking risks herself, but this ambition and bravery can lead to her making things she would feel guilty of

  Her ambition is both her strength and her weakness, which is fascinating to me

3. Omi’s fear

  His fear seems to fall into the silly fear trope which, just like I stated with others, this was probably the reason. But what’s interesting about his fear is actually not the appearance

  Is that we can actually pinpoint where his fear is coming from

  I can explain by going back to episode 12 from season 1, when Omi fought Jack in a showdown over the Heart of Jong. This is when we see his first reaction to squirrels, which is not one of fear, is one of surprise, and he only reacts after the squirrel bites him

  And as showdown, he chooses one who’s squirrel themed while talking about them with respect

  Which doesn’t really make sense if he’s supposed to be terrified of them

  But after this episode we do see him be terrified of squirrels, starting from episode 3 from season 2, when Jack messed up with the monks by stopping time and such

  So, what changed? Why is he scared of squirrels now?

  Well, I’d say that the reason is in episode 12

  Omi is a brave and strong warrior, this is true. But because of his big ego strong confidence, there’s one thing that I can say for certain he’s afraid of: failure

  Failure is a sign of lack of skills, of imperfection and of possible danger brought upon others. Omi holds himself on a high regard and under big responsibility, so every time he experiences failure he gets a hit on his confidence, which is why he’s shown many times to be guilty when he’s failing at something

  And despite the fact that he lost other showdowns at the start of the show, in this episode he lost a showdown which had a Shen Gong Wu that almost brought destruction over all by being used to bring back Mala Mala Jong, a foe that made even Master Fung look terrified

  This showdown is the first time he felt this much of a failure, and his mind subconsciously associated the failure to something physical: squirrels. Then he subconsciously justified his fear over squirrels by exaggerating their features and this is how we got here

  This would mean that we got to see how the main character developed his fear, which it’s fascinating. We don’t get a reason in the episodes, but we get hints that help us come with an interpretation ourselves

  Omi’s fear progression is like the representation of the show itself, which it’s the reason why I find it this interesting

  But there’s one more that I personally find even more interesting

4. Raimundo’s fear

  Okay okay, there’s a reason why I left Raimundo to last and that reason is that he’s my favorite character of all time. This is not a secret and will never be, and every time I get the opportunity to talk about my boy I shine so brightly I could challenge the sun from Philippines

  And the first thing I wanna talk about his fear is how strange it looks. It doesn’t look like a person, it doesn’t look realistic and it barely resembles a jellyfish. It doesn’t look extra intimidating or scary, it actually looks cartoony

  And it makes my mind run wild, because what’s the reason it looks like this? Why is his fear so different from the others? Sure, you can come up with a meta explanation that the writing team wanted to keep things family friendly, they didn’t care much about how a jellyfish (or maybe a Man o’ War) looks, or they wanted to represent the kind of cryptid/ambiguous fear a child can have, but I’m not looking here for meta explanations

  I’m looking here for psychological interpretations, and my interpretation is this: it’s a direct proof that not the jellyfish matters, the idea around it does

  Maybe he encountered a jellyfish when he was young but he didn’t get to see it properly, or maybe he got to see it but subconsciously doesn’t focus on the jellyfish itself, but the thing that I want to be certain of is that he encountered one and got stung by it

  Why? Because it would be the first time he felt pain, the first time he felt fear

  And the thing that Raimundo fears the most, is vulnerability

  Maybe it’s because he learned to look tough in the time he explored the dangerous places from Rio, maybe it’s because of some desire to prove himself that he developed from a family with many siblings, or maybe it’s a combination of both. But what I’m certain of, and that he showed many times in the series, is that he’s afraid of vulnerability. He’s afraid of showing himself as vulnerable, being considered as such and other things related to it, which includes not being good enough

  Which is the reason why his fear is once again represented by a jellyfish in episode 8 from season 3

(Also holy hell I love this version so much, it looks so cool-)

  That episode dwelled more into his fear of not being good enough, which is what he overcame at the end. The fact that his self-esteem issues have been hinted at for many many episodes and we got them actually addressed is something that I’ll always admire and love about the show

  But another thing that’s been hinted at in the episode was his fear of admitting to it, which I would argue that it’s the reason why his fear of lack of competence grew this much in the first place

  Just like with Omi, I’d say that this fear of inadequacy started in episode 12 from season 1, with the Mala Mala Jong incident. He saw the rejection of being promoted to apprentice as being considered a failure, as not being good enough, and as this is a sign of vulnerability, his reaction was to hide it and run away

  And if before he was complaining but still doing tasks (in his own way), after this incident with Mala Mala Jong and Wuya we actually saw him slacking off more in season 2 by hiding dirty plates, dust and using Vlad to do the work for him. Only after this episode he got officially characterized as a slacker, which in episode 8 from season 3 we got it confirmed that it comes from his fear of not belonging in the team because he’s not good enough

  He was having this fear for so long, but he never showed it properly because he avoids showing vulnerability, so it got bottled up for many episodes till it finally got addressed and dealt with in episode 8 (also, Omi’s constant remarks and his team’s occasional distrust on him most likely didn’t help with his fear of inadequacy)

  And this is what’s interesting for me. Even if he resolved his fear of not being good enough, his core fear of vulnerability is still there, and it has the possibility of raising other fears in him, because he still has the habit of closing himself

  As long as he doesn’t learn how to open up in a healthy way, he will still form fears, he will still form worries, and they will still grow until he will not be able to hide them anymore

  His fears may take many forms, but they will still be rooted to the same idea, to the vague image of a jellyfish

  And I love this so much

  So yeah, these are my interpretations on the monks’ fears! Of course, you can have your own interpretation, as many of these things are more or less implied than confirmed. And I am curious about what you personally think! (I’m always eager to talk to someone about the show)

  And if you got to read till the end, here’s an image with Raimundo being made to do his work

  Look at him

  The little prick

[good-beanswrites]

I wanted to bring up a silly ship idea. Just for fun.

03, 06, 09, 10

Was this before Kotoko attacked them? After? I dunno.

Thoughts?

YES the cringefail 20yo polycule 👏👏👏 Thank you for the request! I've seen a lot about the individual pairs, so it was really fun to think about all their dynamics together! I have a set of hcs that could work in the current canon Milgram, and then a normal au set because it's so fun thinking about them :3

Milgram-focused

The I’m-a-loner-who’s-doing-it-for-justice-don’t-TOUCH-me pair finally meet their match when confronted with the I-loved-someone-so-much-and-don’t-plan-on-stopping pair. They all go into the relationship with grand ideas of love: they think it’s all heroic acts of saving, massive gestures or love, and dramatic confessions. Over time, they realize the real heroism/romance is in the little things. 

Mahiru has her hands full with three people who neglect themselves for the sake of their work/interests, but she always loves feeding them and helping give them what they need. In turn, they can give her more affection and attention than she could ever ask for. They make sure someone is always around to spend time with her.

Each of the three is a perfect match for dealing with John’s reveal. Mahiru is calming and helps tone down Mikoto’s initial stress. Fuuta is honest and will help Mikoto finally confront his own situation and move forward. And since Kotoko can match his strength, Mikoto doesn’t need to be afraid of accidentally hurting anyone. Mikoto becomes less stressed with the overall situation as well as more accepting of himself/John.

I always love the idea that Fuuta is secretly starstruck by Kotoko and John’s strength. He’ll never admit how much he admires their ability to stand up and fight. He feels really safe around them. He’s glad to have the opportunity to fight for someone else, too – he likes to be Mahiru’s self-proclaimed protector and hero. (Even though most of the time she can stand up for herself, she still likes letting him take care of her.)

Kotoko’s experiences let her hold solid conversations with everyone. She’s similar enough to Fuuta where they share some interests (social issues, schooling, etc.) She understands hard work and burnout to earn Mikoto’s respect. She understands physical strength to earn John’s. She has a lot of people-knowledge, so she can gossip and talk about Tokyo life to Mahiru (Mappi’s doing most of the ‘gossiping,’ but Kotoko has solid additions). She's a good listener and has a good memory, so everyone feels heard by her.

They start to rub off on each other. Mahiru and Mikoto learn to be a bit tougher in standing up for herself. Fuuta, John, and Kotoko learn to take a breath before jumping right to violence. They stay very much who they are, but pick up on just a few habits that make their lives easier.

Their styles also influence one another: Fuuta gets pointers from all three about piercing his ears (though it takes him a long time to get up the nerve to do it). Mahiru helps the others dress more trendy and boost their confidence, and they teach her to worry less about her appearance and relax more. 

If they get together T1, Kotoko is shocked by the T1 verdicts. She might pull away from everyone in initial horror, but after developing a relationship ahead of time, she doesn’t follow through with her attacks. If not, then maybe in T3 when Kotoko is suffering from her guilty verdict, Mahiru and Mikoto are able to bridge the gap and develop a friendship, leading to more. Fuuta would take longer to come around, but I think seeing Kotoko got through the same pain as him, his hero instincts would kick in and he’d gradually help. 

Normal-au

Mahiru once again tries out her lovers’ interests, and gets a bunch of new hobbies. Fuuta teaches her to game, she works out with Kotoko, and she tries out photography with Mikoto. She becomes close with Fuuta’s beautician sister, and enjoys bonding over fashion and hair. She helps redye Mikoto’s hair, and give the other two pointers on style now and then. When going to nicer events, she and Mikoto have to step in and stop the others from their sneaker/hoodie combos. As the only one with a license, she’s the designated driver at all events, but doesn’t mind. 

Fuuta uses his tech skills to set up social media accounts for the others. He helps Mahiru network her flower shop, fighting anyone who leaves a bad comment/review. He helps set up a complex online portfolio for Mikoto. He and Kotoko still have a passion for justice, and he becomes the tech brains behind her vigilante operations (very Ron Stoppable - Kim Possible) It’s not necessarily healthy growth, but they’re happy with it lmao

Mikoto is the only full-time worker, the others are all still in university, and he makes sure to keep them all on track. He knows the most efficient tricks and cheats about getting papers done, pulling all-nighters, and cramming before an exam. The others have learned to spot when he’s burning himself out for others, and will stop him when he tries to take on too much. They’ll take care of him and force him to rest. While he can still get into a bit of trouble, John learns to call them first and get some help. 

Kotoko has trained herself to find people and information easily to catch criminals, but she finds use for it in much more mundane ways – she tracks down clients for Mahiru, snoops around Mikoto’s company to make sure he’s being treated right, and keeps an eye out for the people Fuuta is calling out and/or hanging out with. She goes on runs with Mahiru, and bike rides with Mikoto. Fuuta tags along sometimes to strengthen his legs for soccer. 

There’s definitely potential for them all to have their murders pre- or mid- relationship, and they help one another improve themselves and heal. I’m also a sucker for the relationship itself to cause them to change their ways and narrowly avoid the murder in the first place. (For the latter, Mahiru would ironically be the last to join the relationship, since she’d still be with her bf until the other three inspire her to break it off with him gently.)

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 149 - My Thoughts/Analysis

This was an amazing chapter! Amazingly unnecessary, I mean. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Ch 149 below. 

Oh, where to begin with this chapter. Instead of getting more information and character depth on Ai and Hikaru during an arc specifically tailor made for them, we are instead treated to the return of this love triangle bullshit. It was acceptable during Tokyo Blade, but it’s overstayed it’s welcome by now.

The “reveal” that Kana’s been eavesdropping on the Akana-Kana conversation is a cheap tactic that dredges out intrigue for Kana during the wait between this chapter and the next one. Would it kill the series to lay things out in chronological order instead of relying on these sorts of flashbacks like a crutch to create the illusion of tension? It’s a half-assed tactic that any competent writer would stay clear of because it’s the equivalent of a sucker punch to the readers’ faces. The movie arc is already shoddily made and we don’t need what little goodwill that the readers have for the series go down the drain even further.

The Akane-Kana conversation is nothing more than air. There’s no substantiality to it. No introspection on Kana’s part. There’s no introspection on Kana’s part. She basically just saw Akane and Aqua talking and immediately jumped to conclusions. While, yes, this is in her character, framing it now, like this, is basically the specter of the dreaded love triangle plotline coming back from the dead. Instead of more necessary insight on Ai and Hikaru we get yet more screentime for Akane and Kana fucking about when it comes to Aqua. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I feel absolutely no sympathy for Kana’s despair in the majority of these scenes. Everything about this situation has been entirely self-inflicted. Despite knowing that her sharp tongue is a problem she hasn’t taken any visible steps to fix that. From the flashforwards her tongue is still something that she can’t control. She hasn’t taken any steps to pursue Aqua throughout the series and is content to hang around him like an annoying mosquito. Both Akane and Ruby have already made their moves on Aqua and she’s basically just sat on her hands the entirety of the series when it comes to him. She even had the gall to say that she doesn’t even think of Aqua as a love interest despite the reader knowing very well that it isn’t true at all. 

I read somewhere online that all the panels of Kana’s crying can be used to fill two whole volumes. While I don’t know how true this is, I can certainly say that I’m starting to get tired of this whole song and dance with her. There comes a point in a narrative that you see someone in the story that’s been continuously kicked down by their own bloody choices or has every opportunity to change but never seems to do anything substantial about their own situation and you have to ask, “Why should I care?”. That’s basically where I am with her at the moment.

“My love for him is like a mother to her child!” Akane, please. I know you can mimic Ai but this comparison might be a bit too far! Not that Aqua would mind Akane acting as Ai in bed but this is a whole new level! 

Even Akane is getting fed up with Kana’s shit. Good for her! Honestly, Akane needs to get past her obsession with Arima Kana because that’s something that’s holding her back from growing as a person and an actor in my opinion.

“If I were a man, I’d definitely choose you.” This has to be some of the lowest hanging yuri bait I’ve ever seen. Get this shit out of my face. You’re going to need a hell of a lot more for me to suddenly start spouting the virtues of the Kana-Akane pairing. This conversation doesn’t even pass the Bechdel test. 

Akane pushing Kana to do something and then Kana running away seems to be the story of their relationship. If she doesn’t even have the initiative to get together with Aqua herself then she doesn’t deserve him. She might as well be the rope between the Akane-Aqua tug of war, a proxy for Akane to try and “fix” Aqua. 

Kana feeling sorry for herself and not doing anything about it. We’ve seen that before. I’m just surprised the author is pulling this stuff some more and expecting people to still have sympathy for her. It’s like beating a dead horse at this point.

Akane jumpscare! It would be creepier if her face was drawn more accurately but the paneling is kind of odd there. Slightly surprising that we’re still on this plotline—I expected a cut a while back because that’s just how this manga has been rolling recently.

I—Wow, Akane. Wow. This is going to be a completely fine plan with no repercussions whatsoever. It’s in-character for her to want to try and save Aqua, but doing it like this is almost certainly the wrong move. I didn’t think that when I said that Kana would be the rope between the Aqua and Akane tug of war that it would actually happen! 

This is going to go horribly. The fact that Akane, someone who we’ve seen is relatively intelligent among the cast, attempt something like this is just—it’s just bad. Bad writing is what it is. As soon as Aqua gets a whiff of this—and he will, because Kana is weak to Aqua in general—that’s the Kana-Aqua relationship going down the drain in the worst case scenario. Does Akane really think that this sort of manipulation is something that Aqua won’t detect when Kana acts so out of character? Her level of manipulation is leagues worse than Aqua’s if this is the best that she can come up with. 

For Kana’s part, I think this is the nail in the coffin for her attempts at actually ending up with Aqua, though I’m more than sure some fans are still hoping and praying for a Kana victory at the Aquabowl. If your waifu is basically being strung along by her rival in to vie for the main character’s hand when she herself doesn’t even have the initiative to go for it—well, it might be a bit of a controversial take, but I don’t think that’s the type of behavior of someone who’s actually going to get together with the main character. Just saying.

We already know for a fact that this plan fails because of the flashforwards. Aqua, at least in public, is still more or less single by the time the movie premieres. It’s just a matter of how bad this fallout is going to be in the meantime.

The elephant in the room is obviously Ruby. We don’t know how Aqua has reacted to the kiss, nor what he thinks about it all about it. His narration has been left in the dark for so long that it’s become quite grating. How much longer are the authors going to tiptoe around this topic? Any discussion with regards to romance is going to be incomplete unless we get Aqua’s thoughts on how Ruby kissed him. And I don’t think he’ll be very conducive to Kana trying to get in his pants while she’s being manipulated by Akane to do so.

[yourfifitherealone]

I love you, EXACTLY the way you are <3 (Medic TF2 x reader) non-binary friendly

Medic's Pov

I noticed Y/N acting..off lately. They haven't been accepting physical affection or affection at all the same as they used to. Is it my fault? I don't really know, but what I do know, is that I WILL find out why. I was intensely determined to figure out the cause was.

"Greetings and salutations, has anyone seen my Darling anywhere?" I asked the base. "Saw the lass go up to the rooftop I think " Damon said which was unusually helpful from him "sincerest thanks" I finished while walking up the staircase.

"My darling, darling, where are you?" I called, finally at the roof. Then I heard crying "Y/N?" Then I saw them balled up shaking to the beat of sobs. "What happened?" I asked rushing over beside them. "I-I-" then they continued to cry in my arms. My blood starting to boil, I wanted to hurt whoever did this but I couldn't figure it out with Darling sobs blocking their sweet song that most will call a voice. After some uncontrollable sobs later which I'm usually uncomfortable and awkward when people are crying but...with them it's different, everything was different with them, everything IS different with them, and I plan to keep it that way forever.

My darling soon confessed a nosy someone told her that I wasn't good for her; in other words that I, me, her lover was

Out of her league....

"Now let's think rationally, med school helped us with that one huh?" I whispered I'm starting to feel that voice again, trying to convince me. "Hold on loebe I need to think" I say letting them slip from my hands. "Think about what?" My Dove sweetly asked. "Hold on"

'Screw it. SCREW THEM! THOSE SAD EXCUSES FOR A "DOCTOR". I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT ON. MY. OWN!

With my great doctoring skills, I'll make sure the sorry, sorry person will be out of everyone and EVERYTHINGS league...'

*sigh*

"Okay liebe my dear, I'll handle it. I'll make sure they will never again..

-have the mere confidence to

-ever confront you again...,

-I promise.."

"Your side is coming out again, Listen to yourself" I reasoned with him

'I'm done having conversations in my own head about what's good for my darling. We SHARE her. If and when something hurts her it's MY job to make it better so shut. up.'

I am THE cruel, evil, twisted, demented, unreasonable,

Medic...

"I heard you were talking to my darling, Told her something unbelievably stupid, sounds about right?" "Look I didn't mean it like that she's too sensitive" he said while rolling his eyes. My job is to protect Y/N, my job is to know that he told her that because he had feelings for me and wanted to sabotage our love for each other, my job is to take care of him and take care of my darling in a complete different way. My job is to kill what other me can't, who Y/N can't. My job is to kill

I plunged the knife in his stomach causing the waste of space to collapse. 'Ill do more with him later ' I thought to myself. He kept on groaning and cursing wishing some sort of horrible unspeakable pain onto me.

Little does he know..

He'll be taking that same fate he speaks.

I get him into my basement then run back to the roof to my lover.

She's gone

"Y/N!?"

I rush to their room and desperately knock for them to open up their day. I feel desperate to see them even though I couldn't figure out why, I didn't care. Just wanted to see them

"Ye-?oh hi. Why did you leave me alone up there like that? It- nevermind"

"Apologizes Y/N. I'm coming back slowly I'm going a little off the rails"

"You were supposed to comfort me what the hell?"

"Again I'm sorry I wasn't there I wasn't feeling like myself but I did take care of it. If it'll make you feel better, we can hug all day if you'd like" I offered with a smile, returning to my normal self. "Really?! Yes, yes,yes one hundred percent yes!" We cuddled and played their favorite YouTube videos which I wouldn't like to admit, I wasn't very interested in. "Babe I know you don't like watching them I can tell, I'll turn it off when it's done" "no, no that won't be necessary there are some...funny parts......sorta" "SEE I knew it! You don't like it" they said sitting up from laying on my chest. "I.. uh okay well maybe I don't but you do so it doesn't matter. I have to catch up with something later anyway" after that their jaw drops and they stare. "What?" "You said you'd cuddle with me allllll day" "Oh I did? I forgot I said that last part...heh" I nervously laughed but their face was unamused. "Fine!"

I watched YouTube until they fell asleep and started to drool.

"Sweet dreams, Y/N"

"Now it's time to punish the waste of space, trash."

I went down to the basement and saw the bloody wreck in the corner he leaned closer to the corner frantically pleading me to not kill him. "I will kill you, unfortunately for you but first I'll need to make you REGRET ever speaking to her..."

The next day, Darling was fine and happy like usual. No weird sleeping patterns of going to bed at 8, avoiding me and others ect she's just... herself. I'm glad and if anyone tries to mess with her, with our happiness,

I'll deal with it...

[cosmereplay]

Day 27: Diamond

Chapter 1 - Negotiation (yeah I went overboard today) Rated Mature, Ialai/Beryl, Sex work, set during Way of Kings Cross posted on ao3

As Beryl changed and readied herself, she wondered one last time whether attending Ialai Sadeas as a Jasnah Kholin look-alike might be a bad idea. However, the Sadeases had an excellent reputation with the other prostitutes, and the pay Ialai’s scribe had offered was substantial, with payment up front. 

She looked in the mirror, holding her trademark diamond spherelamp, which contained the sphere she kept her illusion in. She couldn’t keep it on her clothes, for obvious reasons. The white light also allowed her clients to see her well, which was the whole point of hiring a look-alike. She made sure not to make herself look too uncannily similar. It helped that she was shorter than the princess, and a little younger. She enjoyed wearing Jasnah’s face with clients; she didn’t have to change very much physically, and stepping into the demeanour her clients wanted was often a fun change of pace.

However, most of her clients didn’t know the princess personally like the Highprincess did. That made her stomach flutter. Well, either way, she had a job to do. Head up and confident, she was granted entry into the Highprincess’ inner sanctum.

The room was rich with soft carpets and heavy tapestries, making the room feel smaller than it was. A hearth with a lit fire warmed the room, making the space feel cozy and alive. Elsewhere the room was lit by emeralds, not locked in spherelamps but open in goblets and small bowls–a sign of extravagance and self-assured confidence.

The Highprincess herself was not on the large, soft bed at the centre of the room, but in an overstuffed armchair in the corner. She gestured to Beryl to take the seat opposite her. Beryl acquiesced and placed her little diamond spherelamp on a delicate side table.

Brightness Ialai regarded her with a pleased air. “I admit I’m impressed,” she smiled. “Even down to the havah style. For a moment I thought the bitch herself had found me out. Now, to business. I assume since you accepted my price, you understand I will be asking more of you tonight.”

“Yes, Brightness,” Beryl said, inclining her head in deference. “I was told you would be interested in having me act like the Princess, and you would be spanking me. That’s perfectly acceptable to me, so long as you hit with the flat of your hand, and stick to my stomach, thighs, and ass.”

“Hm,” Brightness Ialai said, tapping her chin. “How about hair-pulling? Not hard enough to hurt, but perhaps enough to surprise.”

Beryl nodded. “Yes, Brightness, that would be fine. I would also ask no fingers or any other objects be put inside me. I have my own tools, but I was told you weren’t interested in them anyway.”

“Yes, that is correct. Although, now that I’m looking at you…” she trailed off thoughtfully.

When Beryl was in the room, sometimes clients thought to try to alter the agreement, and it seemed that Brightness Ialai was no different. 

“Can I come on you?”

An unusual request from a woman, but Beryl would take it. “So long as you provide me a wash basin afterwards. I’ll need to leave presentable.”

“Yes, you will,” Brightness Ialai said in a colder tone. “I’ll want you leaving promptly and without drawing any attention. If there is no talk of your presence here after two days, I’ll send an emerald mark. If there is any talk, I’ll never hire you again. If any rumours arise as to the nature of our contract, I’ll have you whipped.”

That raised Beryl’s eyebrows. “You won’t have to worry about that, Brightness,” she said, feeling unworried. Leaving undetected would be much easier than the Highprincess thought. “In return, of course, you’ll know that if you break any of my rules, your reputation within my network will be burned to the ground.”

Regular clients were best held in check by physical threats; merchants, threats of financial consequences. High-ranking lighteyes could only be held in check by their reputations. Brightness Ialai nodded amiably, already familiar with these standards.

She leaned forward, then, her light green eyes glittering. “You won’t have had occasion to meet Princess Jasnah, so I will tell you that she’s stuck up, judgmental, and thinks she smarter than everyone. I heard that she’ll be moving to the Shattered Plains, so I need to get this out of my system before she arrives. Act like you’re better than me, and let me wound your pride. Do you understand?”

Beryl nodded, then rose. She took a calculated risk, wanting to start her off irritated. She affected a bored, judgmental tone. “Then by all means, let’s begin, Ialai.”

Chapter 2 on tumblr

[girl4music]

“Is it murder if the person deserved it? Warren deserved it. Rack deserved it.”

Erm…. Yes.

Unless the person who killed the person was acting in self-defence or it was a killing where the intention wasn’t to kill anyone. It just ended up happening.

In that case it’s referred to as manslaughter and not necessarily murder. It depends on the circumstances. When it is self-defence it is often necessary to kill but you could still indeed be convicted of manslaughter. And as for killing but unintentionally killing - very likely you will be convicted of manslaughter. Laws may vary between countries and states. But anything goes when it comes to TV art/entertainment. But I would say Willow purposefully killing Warren is murder. And to refer to it as manslaughter would be a grave insult because that dick deserved to be murdered by Willow. And as for Rack - well, she did the world a favour. Not sure on whether he was fully human or not but then I would also say the same about Willow. Witchcraft doesn’t necessarily make you something other than human but I would think you’d have to be more than human to be as powerful as either Willow or Rack was because magic - especially dark magic - is a very potent drug and if you were just sucking it out and ingesting it all the time, you’d have to be able to withstand the amount you take without overdosing. So yeah, I’d say you’d have to be more than human. Willow after her stint as Dark Willow should have indeed died because she absorbed far too much. However, if her becoming Dark Willow did make her more than human - then that explains why she didn’t. I believe there was some demon in her from then on.

Same as how Cordy became part demon after the events of ‘Birthday’ when she decided to take the visions back. Those visions would have killed her if she hadn’t become something more than just human.

Humans are very complicated beings but whether in reality or in art/entertainment - we’re very fragile. We can’t endure much and that’s part of why accepting ourselves as for what we are is a very brave thing. Pretty much anything can take us out - be physical, mental or emotional. We’re just not made to last. Part of what makes watching supernatural or fantasy art/entertainment so enthralling is because we can escape into a Universe where we can feel like more. Buffy does a great job of showing the benefits of being human while also sticking to the realism of it BUT ultimately - the characters that aren’t human or are more than human are the most interesting ones and it’s precisely because we’re not familiar with it. We get bored of and even desensitised by completely human characters like Xander, Riley or Tara because they’re so much like ourselves and we’re not interested in looking in the mirror. We want out of it. I fully admit, accept and embrace this about myself. It’s not just the morally grey characters that I am interested in the most. It’s also the non-human ones.

For me - Willow in particular is a character that starts off human but ever so slightly becomes supernatural.

It’s not stated directly and explicitly. I just think that’s the most plausible take of what her arc amounts to.

Becoming more than human and struggling with it. Reading it this way provides more depth to her conflict with her identity. There’s more to explore. And it makes the only sole main protagonist that remains fully and totally human - Xander - far more interesting because somehow he made it when he shouldn’t have. When I talk about how fragile humanity is - he was literally a walking target all throughout and survived by the skill of his own wit and not by supernaturalness. The fanbase loves to throw him under the bus because “Joss self insert” but I think it counts for something that he made it all the way to endgame and after. Then again, I don’t think the creators were brave enough to kill any of the main protagonists off after killing Tara.

[mainfaggot]

aug. 20th '24

Good evening oomfs,

It is 6:11 pm as i begin to write this journal entry—i spent the last 6 hours outside of my house. i bussed, walked, sat at a coffee shop, had a nice meal with a friend at said coffee shop, walked on the beach with this friend, sat on a big rock by the river with them, listened to music as we sat, then returned to the shop to order a cold brew, and i am now on my way home. my face is warm from both fatigue and the rush of caffeine that is attempting to revive my spirits.

So far in the day, i have experienced various emotions. there have been moments of static emptiness, familiar melancholy, mild anxiety as well as some prominent feelings of casual contentment in spite of everything that swims within. #deep (sorry cannot take myself seriously sometimes...) Anyway.

While bussing to meet my friend, i realised i was alone with my thoughts without any distractions; the music blaring in my headphones was only a reminder of my internal monologue, and the anxiety of being in a public space fed into my emotional state rather than taking away from it. i was yet again immersed in a well known masquerade—pretending to be calm, cool, collected while internally fearing the eye of the Other and objectifying myself through it. truly, what a pretentious way of saying that i was on edge because i feared judgement from others due to coming to hasty conclusions on my own (by assigning meaning to every little gesture and facial expression). i think it was ridiculous that i was trying to be something i did not feel i was, and i think the cracks in my performance were becoming obvious. i have always had a frighteningly expressive disposition along with difficulty maintaining an unaffected appearance (much to my mother's chagrin... "when you look so obviously upset in public i cannot stand to be seen with you!"). i was deflating like a balloon on public transport: a twenty year old Nothing dressed up in their best slacks, staring out the window wondering what the damn point of it all was, while trying not to feel too upset by feeling so very phony (fucking holden caulfield got me... ugh).

Conversation was clunky at first: i hadn't seen this particular friend in around 15 months. yes, i was counting.

She kind of snuck up on me back in high school... if i allow myself room to be a little more cliché, i could even say that it was fate in itself disguised as a surprise. i noticed her on the first day (?) of grade nine. she invited me to eat lunch with her since she already had a group of friends from middle school attending our high school, whereas i knew absolutely no one. i lost her in the hallway traffic. i ended up sitting with a handsome twelfth grade boy and his good-looking friends who took pity on my tragic freshman self. i was kind of awestruck by two things: her outgoing personality and the nice seniors with pretty faces. fast forward a couple years, a few of her friends were my friends, but the two of us were not close at all. at this point, i knew of her and thought she was incredibly intelligent and kind (she goes to Yale now by the way, and she's on her pathway to law school...!). however, i had no interest in becoming friends with her because i already had three people that i considered close enough. by the start of junior year, we were talking and getting to know each other better. by the end of junior year, we texted and called frequently. i was close friends with her and her friends. it was weird because from age 16 onward, i felt weirdly distant from her. perhaps it was that she was on student council, the head of the debate team, acting in musical productions, and dancing outside of school all while managing a 90% average that intimidated me. eventually, her acceptance into Yale sort of reinforced the thought in my head that i was a stray cat she picked off the street to play with for a short while before moving on to bigger, better things. i was insecure and fully aware of this fact, but i was never jealous. i knew she deserved everything that she worked for and i admired her deeply. i think i just hated myself for being so Nothing next to her, and i believe i couldn't even begin to understand what she saw in me to keep me within her inner circle. i just didn't understand why i was chosen to take up that position. i should've appreciated it more though because then she left for Yale, and then she took a break from school and left for England, and then i was on my own and no longer special to anyone for a long time. she has always been an honest and genuine person, and i was always insecure. im not exactly like that anymore, although i do feel weird about her liking me enough to keep me around. i don't really know what i have to offer to anyone as a friend, but im grateful that she thinks im worth staying in contact with. it's true that she was too busy to text or call for months on end at one point, but i assume that that was the result of working 60 hours a week as a 20 year old paralegal in a different country, in a different time zone, all while living alone. i don't blame her for that period of time. who am i to do so, anyway?

Back to the present, we discussed school and third year plans, we talked about masters degrees and settling in different countries in our twenties, and we talked about music and books. she's such a consistent person... even when she changes, it's like she's simply evolving into a better or more experienced version of herself. she's not like other people i went to high school with, people who did a 180° once university started. maybe im idealising her excessively... i never really viewed myself as her equal in the first place (probably a bit of a problem... self esteem issues chronic clinical depression blah blah we know). it was nice to see her. ultimately, it was nice despite everything. i was afraid of meeting, i was afraid of talking about my emotions and constantly fluctuating mental disorders, i was afraid of feeling detached as i do in general, but we settled into each other's space without too much difficulty and we barely touched the subject of my mental well-being. i also only felt detached half of the time, so there's that.

Side note: my face is so fucking warm right now... also it's 7:23 right now because I got sidetracked while writing this. i forgot to hit send post at 6:30 when i initially thought i was done writing (because i was chatting with my younger sister), and when i returned to my phone, i realised i wanted to write some more. now look at the time!

Yours truly,

zay mainfaggot

p.s. songs of the evening below <3

[queenharumiura]

Dino x Squaletta opinion

[My KHR ship game] ||Accepting|| @squaletta Reminder: As with the last one, take my thoughts with a grain of salt because I can only work based off what I know of Squaletta and I don't know too much of her yet.

Just like with the one with Tsu-chan, take everything with a grain of salt as I don't really know her and her background. Forgive any inaccuracies, I did my best.

Hate it | Am Neutral to it | Ship it | love it! |

Readmore

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Aiya… well—just like with the fem!Tsuna one, it’s a lil difficult to speak on, but this one is harder because Squaletta doesn’t have much information about her written. So I’m a bit uncomfortable with assessing what ranking to give the ship and then speak about the ship and then perhaps talking about cute ideas… because I don’t know enough information. However, you obviously know that I don’t know much about her, and still wanted to hear my thoughts anyways, so I assume you’re willing to read even if I get things glaringly wrong about Squaletta. So, like with Tsu-chan’s, take what I say with the grain of salt.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s start!

Like with the other one, I’m neutral about the ship to possibly being okay with shipping it because well- I know that you have a ship going on with Whiskey’s Dino and it’s interesting to look at so ye I can say that I ship it (thereby accepting it), but I personally don’t know much about Squaletta so I personally don’t feel strongly about the ship, so I’m more neutral about it, if that makes sense. It’s somewhere in between, I guess you could say.

So, I do have some information from the time we were discussing Haru’s Varia!Au, but I won’t really go into details of what was said because that is your story to tell when you write it for Squaletta’s blog. I don’t know who else may know the information or not, and I won’t spoil it. However, I will take what I read on discord into account for what I will consider.

From what I know, she and Varia!Haru have in common that they at large don’t like to be touched by others. I’d assume that they’re okay with touch from some people but at large, they dislike being touched in general. For Haru it’s due to her trauma of being abused and harmed during the kidnapping, for Squaletta, it’s due to her past. If I read and understood correctly, I would surmise that her love for stabbing can be attributed to the fact that it is the act that allowed her to run away from a wretched fate. To her, it was her salvation, it is what granted her the freedom to make life her own. By stabbing, she could reclaim her life, and so she likes it. IF I am correct in that assessment, it is an important point of distinction apart from Squalo who likely just likes the way of the blade and such because he was good at it, he could prove/boast his skills, and it was something that he could hone by using all the abilities he possesses in his body.

It isn’t to say that Squaletta wouldn’t also enjoy the thrill of battle, that she wouldn’t enjoy fighting as a means to prove herself, but it is to say that the core of where the interest may have come from is different. One may have liked it to begin with as a way to exert his power and show off his skill where hers first came about as a means to protect herself and gain her freedom. Taking this into account, it would be likely that freedom and a strong sense of self is incredibly important to her. Which would then make sense (along with her past) why you mentioned how she wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with Xanxus because of the way he acts. It is something that she wouldn’t be able to tolerate, which contrasts Squalo who does tolerate a lot of Xanxus’s bullshit.

No, I am not saying that Squaletta cannot handle his bullshit. It means that from a romantic standpoint she wouldn’t tolerate it, whereas Squalo just might. ANYWAYS, it’s not important. This part was mostly me bringing up areas where they contrast. Makes you wonder about her motivations for allying with Xanxus and why she supports him in this verse. Maybe they’re the same, maybe they’re not. I don’t have those answers, so moving on.

Being the strong and independent woman that she is, where she cares about her sense of self, her right to herself, and being in control of what happens to herself, I can see why she would like Dino. He’s a respectful guy, who is polite, and has a gentle streak to him. If that was all that was needed to interest her any kind guy would do but that’s certainly not the case. As I’ve seen that it was noted that she’s a bit of a huntress, and has the instincts of a killer/hunter, it would make sense for her to also like a man who is capable. Someone who has the ability to fend for themselves adequately is just the bare minimum. So Dino, has the gentle sides that is good, also has the rougher/more dangerous side that is also good.

It's not only exciting as it’s a bit of a gap moe kinda element, but it’s also super important from a romance perspective because being around a Varia member can mean someone could be in danger. I’m sure people can recognize the flag of the Varia and possibly also the uniform. So being seen around her is like walking around with a target. So Dino being able to protect himself is very important. He is plenty capable so as long as he’s got his famiglia around him lol. It did seem from what I’ve seen in some interactions that she likes his ditziness too, as it’s kinda cute/silly.

If you take some of those things into consideration, it gives the feel of… Squaletta having a preference towards men who not only can treat her well, but also allow her to be a woman. Those who will not look at her as any lesser of a woman because she swings swords around. Someone who will not see her as any less a woman because of her swordarm. Someone who wouldn’t demean her for being loud, bossy, having a snarky attitude, etc. Dino is a very accepting guy, so he just takes things in stride. He would accept Squaletta for who she is and not see her as any less.

He respects her and there is a healthy amount of fear, in the sense that he does not look down on her. He is well aware that if she truly wanted to, if it came down to a fight, it’s not going to be an easy one. That’s where a healthy amount of fear comes in. This means he acknowledges her skill and her ability, which I think would be very important to her. In a sphere where women may not be taken seriously, underestimated, or looked down upon, Dino’s ability to simply accept her and respect her skill is important.

With him, she can feel like a woman, because he treats her as such. Though, the important distinction I’d like to make is that though he would treat her like a woman, he doesn’t do so in a way that undermines her ability. He wouldn’t treat her like a woman in the sense that he’d treat her like she’s fragile or that she can’t do anything for herself. I strongly believe he’d still respect her autonomy and her abilities. He would just treat her like a gentleman with the necessary etiquette and suave politeness that usually sweeps women off their feet. That is the basic vibe that I get for how a relationship would work best between them.

On his end, I think important things of note is the fact that she’s such a dedicated and thorough woman. She’s strong and independent. She’s stubborn and tough as nails. She will not budge when it comes to her ideals, her motives, her goals, etc. She’s so dedicated to becoming who she wants to be, and always improving herself. She is what you call a self-made woman and that’s so impressive when he was born into having a solid history line backing him. It was said that the Cavallone famiglia was struggling financially and such for a while until he came into power and he built things back up to what they are today and that alone should really tell you how capable he is. He’s intelligent and he’s skilled (with his famiglia around). He is able to handle Hibari Kyouya for pete’s sake.

Not only that, he is a great judge of character, knowing just what to do to get Hibari to listen to him. THIS shows that he’s really good at assessing people and understanding them. Perhaps he’s very empathetic. This is very important to note as it can then add another layer to Squaletta, where he may have noted things about her, like she doesn’t like to be touched, and that she can be harsh as a way to protect herself and that’s just what helped protect her when growing up. She does have a softer side to her. She loves it when people admire her and respect her because it is like a reward for all of her struggles. He can notice the small things that some other people may otherwise look over because they are so startled by her rough personality.

For a person who has a good eye and notices things about you, it may bring about a sense of trust and willingness to open up. For a person like Squaletta, that would have to be important bc I doubt she really opened herself up to many people. I think… Dino would know that having gone to the same school as her, he’d probably seen just how standoffish she can be to those she thought were too weak or those that weren’t worth trusting. If so, he knows that her opening up to him and trusting him is a big deal. Given who Dino is, and how he greatly appreciates bonds (look at how he’s ready to jump onto a jet plane the moment he hears something happened in Japan lol) he would not be blind to the fact that Squaletta is trusting him and opening up to him.

It would be a thing to feel honored by. The way that they can just banter with each other is fun and a way for them to kinda flirt in a harmless way. I think, Dino being who he is made it easier for Squaletta to be more feminine and to embrace it around him. She knows that he wouldn’t judge her for being more feminine despite being an assassin or her usual demeanor. If she had a moment of being more feminine just because she wanted to, he would simply comment on how she looked lovely or something. He wouldn’t comment about how it was out of place for her or anything because he wouldn��t believe that. Whatever Squaletta wants to be IS her, so there’s nothing out of place for it.

For someone who was an orphan, had a lot of struggles growing up, and has to constantly prove herself and her skills, someone who is so accepting is like a breath of fresh air. For him, he can watch her journey and I’m willing to bet he feels PROUD of her for all that she’s accomplished. He loves to watch her over the years and see just how accomplished she is. There isn’t much of a place where he is overly worried about her or anything and it’s because of all the trust he has in her skills. He knows if she mentions something about a dangerous mission, he KNOWS she’ll come back. That’s his Squaletta, a powerful woman.

He would probably see her strength as a beautiful thing. Her resilience is beautiful, and it’s praiseworthy. Though she had to be a killer essentially from a young age, she made the best of her situation and she rose to great heights. She is a vice commander now, and that’s so impressive. I think he would admire how far she’s come and I think she would respect his efforts as well, bringing the name of the Cavallone famiglia back up with his hard work.

They have a sense of respect for one another, though I think she may sometimes feel fed up with how kind he can be, ahaha, and the way he’s so close to Tsu-chan. Though like with Xanxus, I think Squaletta would come to terms with the idea that yeah… okay… this lil brat may have what it takes to be the next boss. FINEEEEE I’ll accept her—MAYBE!!!! B/

At least I think I’ve noticed that sometimes she can be fed up with how gentlemanly he can be at times, and I think in those instances it can probably come back to the fact that while she normally dislikes it when people touch her, if she’s decided she’s okay with someone touching her—she is totally okay with it. She wants it. Stop pussy footing around!!! Touch her already! She’s waiting for it!!! Is how I see it and rationalize it. I could be wrong, but that’s what my gut tells me.

I think in that case Dino would eventually learn that it’s okay to touch her and maybe help her explore things in life. I don’t think he’d go past a certain threshold because he doesn’t want to actually really hurt her or do anything that he thinks would be demeaning. Ultimately he respects her and cares for her and would hate himself if he did anything that would undermine his respect for her or make it seem he didn’t respect her. So there would have to be a balance there, I’d think. So yeah, basically, I think they are an interesting pair and that they could work well.

-

Hmmm cute ideas… a lil hard to do since I’m not confident at all in my understanding of Squaletta lol.

Though I think it would be interesting if he tripped (clumsy Dino at it again!) and he touches her because she steadies him up and he realizes that he’s touching her and that she’s allowing it. Imagine that moment of him realizing that she’s wordlessly telling him how much she trusts him and is okay with him. He’d probably feel so happy and honored that she thinks that highly of his presence. AHHHHHHHH very good. TASTY.

I have ALWAYS had this notion of thought over the many years of me being a fan of KHR (I’m truly a KHR fandom senior) that I think that if Dino came to love someone and see a possible future with them, there would be a new addition to who he can be around and not be a clumsy Dino. IMAGINE his famiglia isn’t around but he’s still plenty able to exist as a regular human and not trip over his entire life every three seconds. IMAGINE Squaletta making a joke like weird, you haven’t tripped over your feet yet. Imagine a small blush on his face and he’s just ‘well… because I see you as my family’ flakdsjfalkdsfjldskf THINK ABOUT IT? HEAR ME OUT? CAVITIESSSSS THAT IS SWEET.

I just like the idea that we’ve seen Enzo end up in random ass places all the time. Dino, please invest in some special holder. Enzo has fallen into water TOO MANY TIMES. Please! Imagine Enzo just happening in Squaletta’s possession one day for who knows what reason and she has to take care of him until Dino can come pick him up (no way will she send him via mail lol). Imagine her just taking some pictures with the turtle and sending him sporadic updates so he knows the turtle is still alive and not made into soup yet. He’s just saving all the pictures because the silliness is quite cute. Just think about it and shrivel up from the wholesome. Just do it. Join the club.

I think that’s enough from me for now. I’ve talked way too much now. Pheww

[supermarine-silvally]

Good morning, I'm back with more asks for Yara (since she's from the only fandom on your masterlist that I properly know, I think - I know some stuff about Bnha but not a lot - and also, I love her, your honor). Could I please have 1, 6, 9 and 10 from the Emotions, Feelings, Opinions asks for my beloved?

Yes of course! I love talking about my girl heheh

Ask game here!

1. Can your OC admit to mistakes or weaknesses? Can they accept help?

Yara is a pretty self-aware and honest person so she can certainly realize and admit where her strengths and weaknesses lie. As for mistakes… Let’s just say that post-Marineford she did a lot of self-reflecting on what could’ve gone better (even in the universes where 🍩 does not happen), lol. Pride isn’t one of her issues so she can and does accept help when she needs it, but she doesn’t like being seen as weak either so it might take her a while of trying (and failing) to do something on her own before she’ll decide to seek someone else’s assistance (she hated training with Mihawk, but she understood that it would make her so much stronger, and it did-- to the point where she even awakened her Devil Fruit). 

6. Are they dramatic?

She certainly can be, lol. The more inane it is, the more Yara tends to treat it like it’s the end of the world. Nothing puts her in a worse mood than dealing with a mild annoyance. The Paramount War was no biggie, but heaven forbid she find another one of Ace’s socks on the bedroom floor instead of the goddamn laundry bin where it should be, Ace!!

9. What do they get really petty about?

Anything related to Mihawk. She gets extremely pissy when anyone dares make a comparison between the two (someone who didn’t even know about their relation once compared her swordplay to that of Hawk-Eye Mihawk, which was meant entirely as a compliment, and she nearly bit his head off-- cue one of the rare moments in which Ace has to act as Yara’s impulse control rather than the other way around lol)

10. What do they identify as?

I assume this means gender/sexuality-wise: She’s a cis woman if pressed but doesn’t honestly care too much about her gender. (She looks too feminine to be mistaken for a man but if she ever was it wouldn’t really bother her). She’s very pansexual, though-- cis, trans, nonbinary, human, fishman/mermaid, mink, she’s cool with whatever. Also, in terms of identity, when she finds out about her Wano heritage on her mother’s side, she becomes very interested in exploring it, which is at least part of the reason why she ends up in Wano post-timeskip.

[bluegekk0]

That’s good to know. I like headcanoning PK as a people pleaser or a naturally protective person. Also stems from feeling like he has to regardless of how bad he is at it.

I think one of PK’s love languages is making stuff, so he makes stuff for the Troupe and Grimm. He finds that knowing Grimm is happy and even more so after the shows go well makes him ecstatic. Grimm probably never stops smiling after successful shows.

I also view Grimm as somewhat a perfectionist when it comes to his shows. Because he’s an artist, he’s own worst critic and can definitely tell when something is wrong but just hides it under his bravado. PK is able to tell something is wrong but just sits next to him and listens. Eventually Grimm just starts listing off all the parts that went wrong.

I also wonder, because I don’t know how you position the Radiance and Grimm’s dynamic, but I’m always the fan that they never got along. Even with her self importance, she never understood Grimm’s love for performing and said it was dumb. Which deflated him a lot. PK and Grimm bond on having terrible family members.

oooh another very interesting ask, love these!

i agree with the people pleaser part! pk hates conflict, he doesn't want to make enemies, and because he bit off more than he could chew with the whole kingdom deal, it very much affected him on a personal level. no one wanted to see a king with all those feral instincts, so he forced himself to "correct" them, which resulted in him feeling detached from himself, like he was playing a role he wasn't built for. but because he didn't want to fail, he kept going, until it eventually all went to hell anyway, which completely broke him. so it's not surprise that he quickly accepted his new life post hibernation. he was free from forcing himself to be someone he wasn't, and even though the guilt and shame of failing the kingdom still haunt him, being able to act without those artificial boundaries did help him cope with it on a daily basis. he is cringe, but he is free, as i like to describe him

i skipped over the natural protectiveness part there but i also see him having that. after all, that's what drove him to making the kingdom. he wanted to prove himself, yes, but he wanted to offer the mortals a chance to thrive, and protect them from dangers they couldn't face without his help. as we know, he failed at that, but this instinct still carries over post hibernation, now directed at his family (which already manifested itself when he was raising hornet, but now it's his sole focus)

and yes, he absolutely does love doing and, especially, making things for others! he's terrible at talking about his feelings, so that's his main way of expressing love (a trait which hornet shares with him, for better or worse). i could totally see him making stuff for grimm to use in his performances! maybe he cooks up some tech used for special effects for the shows? i do think he would try, at least, it would be an interesting challenge

also, that's a very interesting read on grimm! i do agree that he's a perfectionist when it comes to performances, though like you said, it's purely for self improvement purposes. i actually see him as someone who doesn't give a single damn about the opinions of mortals. he's like the higher beings who don't really care about them, except instead of seeing them as mindkess worshipers or collateral damage, he just doesn't care what they think about him. if they're scared of him? good, he won't bother making them think otherwise, though at times he thrives on those negative emotions (showing up in someone's nightmares and traumatizing them just because they pissed him off once? yep, he would do that). he knows he can do whatever he wants and that they can't do anything about it, it's like the "what are you going to do, arrest me?" mentality. that all changes if it's someone he cares about (like pk and pk's family), it's like a complete 180 from a cruel (but polite, if you don't piss him off that is) jackass to a loving partner/parental figure. and he can absolutely switch between the two on the spot, which makes him seem very unpredictable

that being said, i like the idea of him going over his slips up during the performances when talking to pk! unlike with others, he would certainly value pk's opinion, even if pk knows little to nothing about performances. but even then, he's a good listener, and that's a trait grimm appreciates

also i haven't really thought about grimm's relationship with the radiance. i know he would hate her because pk does, she hurt pk and his family, so in grimm's eyes she's an enemy. though i did consider giving him a more personal reason to hate her. i like the idea of them being family, i know a lot of people interpret them as siblings, but i'm not sure how that would work in my au. the radiance is a moth, and since the nightmare heart is, well, a heart (or a heart shaped creature? it's a strange being, maybe i'll figure out something if i ever give them a design for the au), and it's physical body is more mammalian/reptilian than insect, so would it even work? unless they were adopted siblings. that could be an interesting direction to take it in, i'll have to give it more thought, but i like that

if they were adopted siblings, i could totally see them having a terrible relationship. the radiance values her image as a god a lot, refusing to even walk among the mortals (no wonder they forgot about her when a more relatable god material showed up hahaha), while i see grimm as a god akin to dionysus. loves a good performance, loves drinking and pleasure (it's likely why he made his physical body a hermaphrodite, for the full experience haha), doesn't care about worship. that would with no doubt piss off the radiance. maybe she kicked him out of the dream realm, which forced him to sustain himself with the ritual, as he no longer had a reliable source of power? that could be interesting, and would certainly give him a personal reason to dislike her

well, thanks for the ask! really got me thinking about grimm there, i'll have to add this to my mental notes (i swear i will write them down... one day)

[fangsandfeels]

Yo, I didn't expect the game to mention my boy Hoar in any capacity

Imagine my surprise when it did:

Naturally, that tiny cameo means it's legit for me to shamelessly spam headcanons on Jerra's possible connection to Hoar.

Of course, I had to choose the most cringe edgelord/most edgy cringelord among the Forgotten Realms pantheon that is Hoar, the Doombringer, and the Poet of Justice. I’m not even joking here: Hoar is an angry petty bitch who sits in his edgy domain with booming thunders and heads on pikes while being salty about not getting a god of war portfolio in Unther. Like, this is meme is not a meme in Hoar's case, this how he probably talks:

Needless to say, Hoar's followers are just as cringe, brooding in their temples, remembering their grievances and planning their revenge. On top of that, he is the former exarch of Bane and the buddy of Beshaba (the goddess of misfortune and bad luck who ruins people's lives for the most insignificant of reasons).

So, Jerra is certainly not his faithful follower or loyal paladin. If she was, let's just say Astarion would not have gotten away with pulling a knife on her that easily. Also, him trying to bite her at night? Hoar would be pissed off at Jerra telling Astarion off and then letting him sink his fangs into her anyway. As a good devout, Jerra would be expected to bite the vampire's neck in return because Hoar's direct dogma is all about following Equally Matched Aggression standards to an extreme.

But in a world where everyone is influenced by deities and follows some (because the alternative is the Wall of the Faithless and you do NOT want to be condemned to the Wall) Jerra praying and leaving offerings to the Poet of Justice still makes sense, both in the context of her actions and even her acceptance of Astarion.

+ His tenets are actually pretty based. Violence begets violence, but kindness is repaid with kindness. Treat people like you want to be treated, don't commit evil acts for the sake of evil because this path leads to ruin and self-destruction. Meaningful gestures and actions matter more than words.

+ There are several different churches of Hoar scattered across Faerun, each squabbling over who understands Hoar best. So, there is a lot of in-fighting going on, which gives plausibility to the idea of more watered-down followers just minding their own business and keeping away from more intense brothers and sisters in Hoar.

+ Hoar is not that worried about looking righteous or valorous. It’s the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law, that must be upheld. So, it’s not about you looking good when you deliver the vengeance the person deserves. It’s about sending a message. Accordingly, poetic justice is encouraged. Yes, killing the duergar who enslaved a Deep Gnome and made him serve them drinks is good. But lacing the drinks he serves with deadly poison, so the slavers die vomiting their own blood and guts after smugly grabbing mugs from their captive's hands and laughing in his face? Wonderful. Priceless. Deserved.

+ Probably most important: Hoar doesn't mind the undead. At least, he doesn't seem to abhor them like Tyr or other gods of goodness, and his clergy has a rather interesting approach to the undead and necromancy. The dead deserve to be heard and avenged just like the living. Doombringers (the elite battle priests of Hoar) can raise the corpses of victims who died with the wish for vengeance on their lips as revenants - nothing is better than beating a murderer or a serial killer to death with the crowd of raging revenants who lost their lives because of them. Also, if a Doombringer is killed unfairly, they, too, rise as a revenant as a final "fuck you" to their murderer. But Hoar's tolerance for the undead doesn't stop there. The lore even mentions a vampire follower of Hoar (on the bad guys' side, but still). So, even if Jerra merely follows the diluted image of Hoar shaped by her mentor, she is used to speaking with the dead and didn't bat an eye at He Who Was when she first met him. Accordingly, it was relatively easier for her to think outside the box with Astarion and judge him through the prism of his deeds instead of his nature. Her philosophy is less about "there are inherently evil creatures that are KOS and inherently good creatures that deserve multiple second chances" and more about "there are many evil things in the world, lots of them are less obvious than the others"

In general, I don't think that Jerra draws her paladin powers from Hoar. Even though she ends up with several huge grudges against the Absolute, Raphael (when she promised to rip out his mocking tongue, it wasn't an empty threat), and the Emperor (oh she does NOT like the Emperor), she is still way too forgiving and patient to be a full-blown Hoarite. She pays her respects, certainly: her mentor followed the Poet of Justice, which was why they even met - all the time while the Flaming Fist and City Watch, the seemingly dedicated followers of Tyr and Helm, looked the other way. But her Oath was to herself, first and foremost.

However, if Hoar was more chill, I would have headcanonned that Jerra draws powers from his domain, which confused him greatly when it happened for the first time, but then he decided to allow it in a "Listen, if this mortal is so dedicated to her idea of vengeance, she raged her way into my domain, this is going to be good" way.