#and yes artic and i are eating all the food >:) we have to try it all it's... for science. yeah.

[iiboronii]

MOONMEL I'M CRYING REAL GENUINE TEARS THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THEM <3 THEY'RE SO CUTE AND YOU DRAW SOOO WELL AAAAAH

HEYYYYYYYY…..@articskele AND @iiboronii.....!!!!! C'MERE GIRLIESSSSSSSSS I HAVE FOOD FOR YOU

TEEHEE YEP I DREW YOUR BIGGERLER BALL OC'S!!!! <3 IM SORRY IT COULDVE BEEN BETTER BUT I WAS IN A RUSH 😭

THEYRE SO PRETTY AGHH 🤩💞

YOU GUYS I LOVE HOW YOU GUYS MET THROUGH ME TEEHEEE!!

ENJOYYYYY!!!! <3

((I wanna draw @naiacs next!! Sorry I didn't have time!!))

[articskele]

Hellao everyone!!! Buttermilk Daydreams lore be upon ye!!! :D

Tagging @iiboronii ouo

There’s a lot to see when you’re on the road. Landscapes that look like they came straight out of a movie, bright and vast as you look on in wonder. Stars shimmering overhead and ripples in the lake. The way sunlight shines through the leaves, the haze of a snowstorm, the layers in the sandstone.

Coyotes nipping at your heels, getting tipsy off cactus juice, trying (and failing) to identify edible plants, using marshmallow bags for pillows. Wait, are mules the ones that can stand on super steep inclines? Or was it goats… Yeah, yeah it was definitely goats. Ouch.

It’s a wild world out there, but it’s nothing you can’t handle!

And the sweet relief of finding a town to stop by for the night! A nice breath of fresh air, restocking on supplies, eating good food, and just having idle chit chat. Not to say that mules can’t be conversationalists in their own right, but it’s just nice to be around other people.

Beaming with pride and ambition as you regale the events of your journey to put yourself out there, to prove yourself, to change the world as we know it!!

Or at least that’s what you would do, if anybody bothered to ask.

—

Your heart is bursting at the seams with creativity and enthusiasm, just desperate to be noticed!! And one day, someone does!! This gal in a light blue sweater and overalls – says her name is Artic – matching your enthusiasm right off the bat as she bombards you with questions!

How will this invention of yours work? What about the prototypes? Your mule looks so soft, what’s his name? Woahh, you can play guitar? How long have you been out on the road? What have you seen?

And most importantly… Can I come along?

Turns out she’s been on the road too, with plans of her own and eyes to the skies. She loves his ideas! And not only does she want to see him succeed, she wants to help too! Nobody’s done that before!!

And yknow, she was actually prepared for a big journey like this and packed a lot of boring useful things the Onceler miiight have forgotten about.

And so, they were off!! Melvin now has to deal with two bumbling doofuses aklsdjs

—

They discover the valley, the Onceler sets up shop and chops down the first tree, and it isn’t long until he and the Lorax get in a squabble about it. But Artic steps in, trying to find a compromise.

If we can’t stay here, where else could we go? And besides, there IS a town not far from here. If they haven’t been a problem, then surely we could find a way to stay here?

On the other hand, if thneeds do become a smash hit and people want more, then what? You’ll cut down more trees, unable to stop just to keep up. And at that rate, they’ll all be gone!

Artic lights up as she gets an idea, whispering to the Lorax about it before being given a tentative go ahead. But for the Onceler, it's a surprise and she does a cheeky wink as she runs off to the cottage.

Of course he’s all “Aw cmon! You'll tell him but not me?” and he tries to ask the Lorax what she said but he's not budging.

He tries to sneak a few glances when Artic’s tinkering away, but he can never quite figure out what she’s up to…

—

Until one day, Artic says she’s finally got it. It’s finally done! And she leaves a note saying to meet her at that super tall hill to the east!

The Onceler, the Lorax, and a buncha animals make their way up there, to see Artic with the biggest grin on her face! And straps around her shoulders and waist, and some kinda thingy on her back?

Wait, are those- FWOOSH

Big ol makeshift wings unfurl from her back, causing some of the animals to back up in surprise! She rolls her shoulders, and interestingly, her wings seem to follow the movement.

THIS is what she’s been working towards!! THIS is what she’s been working on for like a month!! THIS is what she, admittedly, had been sneaking out at night to test prototypes for-

You see, Artic wanted to make a way to grab truffula tufts without chopping down the whole tree! But in order to do that, you would need your hands free. So, she made wings that move with your shoulders and upper back!!

(Inspired by the fact that I can make my shoulder blades stick out of my back, and Artic’s wings have a wider range of motion because of that :D)

Plus having a bird’s eye view of the valley gives you an easier time seeing which trees have more tufts, which ones have nests so you don’t disturb them, and it’s just plain fun!!

—

As if on cue, the winds shift. And before you know it, she’s running up the hill, getting closer and closer to the edge until!!

She leaps off, fabric billowing as it catches the air, and she’s off!! Swooping down to a nearby tree, grabbing the tufts, and spiraling down to the soft grass below, her face just barely peeking out from the armfuls of pink fluff :D

The Onceler runs up and tackle hugs her, but she’s like “AAA WAIT” bc the wings are kinda fragile and wouldn’t handle her landing on her back too well, so the two of them just kinda spin around mid-hug to regain balance ouo

The Onceler is absolutely ENAMORED with the wings, inspecting every little part and the materials and how everything was put together and!!!!!

Actually, speaking of which, he suggests that she could've used a different type of stitch on the fabric in order to keep all these moving parts together.

To which Artic admits that she doesn't actually know how to sew, she just figured it out from watching him- So he offers to make celebratory pancakes and teach her a thing or two ouo!!

—

I’ve always imagined Greenville looking less… Suburban? Is that the word? Honestly everytime I see canon Greenville it’s a jarring experience aklsfjds

I picture half-timbered style houses, little flower planters in the windowsill, this central farmer’s market type area in the center near that marble gazebo thingy the Onceler performs at.

Maybe there’s a part where the land goes upwards into a hill, and that was made into a dirt path that goes up around the back of the town where you can look over the whole thing!

And there’s a grassy flowery field up there that makes for a perfect picnic spot ouo. Maybe a small pond too!

The whole place just feels more organic and cozy ouo

—

The two of them go into town for the first time, with Artic selling pies and people love it, while the Onceler tries to sell his thneed and you know how that goes.

The look in her eyes when she sees how they're treating him- And the fact that everyone's being so nice to her just makes it worse! They broke his guitar and everything ono

Where's that one meme of someone holding another person and pointing their finger bc THAT'S HER. Just holding this dude way taller than she is and ready to throw hands aslkfjsdf

And when they get back she offers to wash all the tomato out of his clothes and she’s just so sweet and supportive and arghrgksdfd I need to be there for him!!!!!

She finds a buncha seeds in the tomato splatter, so they grow their own tomato plant outside the cottage! Finding good even when things don’t go as planned, and now they get to make a homemade pizza together!!

—

And by this point Artic had built a second set of wings just for him, larger and more built for gliding long distances as opposed to Artic’s more angular high speed wings.

There’s this scene in my head where he’s using the wings for the first time, and he loses balance and almost crashes but Artic swoops in and saves him, and they’re just smiling at each other and akjskdf <3

—

Artic and the Onceler making homemade hot chocolate! They were originally just making it for themselves, but the Lorax showed up like “What are you two makin all this racket about?” along with some other critters, so they ended up making a whole buncha hot chocolate for everybody!!

Here we've only got one rule, never ever let it cool!!

Just this fun montage of them getting everything prepared! What do you MEAN you haven’t seen the hot chocolate scene in the Lorax movie-

Eventually they run out of mugs, so they had to use stuff like bowls and gravyboats- And they had a buncha toppings to go with it! Candy canes and cinnamon sticks and chocolate wafer sticks, and of course a buncha big ol marshmallows ouo

Artic and the Onceler clink their mugs together and everybody sips their drinks and there’s just this big collective sigh of comfort -u-

The Lorax gets a hot chocolate mustache, and if this were a real scene in the movie, I could totally see “double mustache” becoming an old fandom meme

The window’s open and it’s a bit chilly, so Artic goes to shut it, but she can see her breath a little bit. They don’t exactly have a weather forecast out there, but given those clouds in the distance they might get a snowstorm soon!! Her and the Onceler getting all excited about how they’re gonna make snowmen and have snowball fights-

Buuut they realize their little pop-up cottage situation probably isn’t built for that kinda weather. It’s certainly waterproof! I imagine it’s got a top layer of this thick scratchy tarp stuff with fabric underneath?

But either way there’s definitely not enough insulation for the cold. Not to mention the snow could build up on the roof and send the whole thing collapsing in on itself!

Luckily, these two are smart cookies with a love for tinkering. They’ll figure something out! They always do ouo

—

AAAA Artic and the Onceler are just so bright and energetic and full of life!!! Long days and bright skies and goofy little dances and the smell of fresh blueberry pancakes and going to the farmers market and stargazing and working with what you’ve got!

There's always some new invention or adventure or something to explore, just fun slice-of-life shenaniganry! The air is fresh and the sunlight is warm and everything is gonna be alright ouo

Now this whole time they’ve just been friends. Buddies! Business partners, even! But the Onceler thinks he might be starting to have feelings for her… So with no one else to go to, he asks the Lorax for advice.

Though not without a bit of searching first. Geez, where is that guy when you need him?

When asked what he likes about Artic, I mean, just look at her!

She’s brilliant! She made wings and jumped off a cliff and it worked, how crazy is that! She’s just so… Fun! And full of energy and bright like the sun! Oh, and she makes an amazing pie, you’re really missing out- And she listens to me, and we bounce ideas off of each other, and…

She thinks I’m worth something.

Basically these two are obviously crushing on each other but they’re sooo awkward and oblivious about it and the Lorax is just in the background like “KISS EACH OTHER ALREADY”

—

They have soooo many little nicknames for each other- They don't really use "standard" petnames but they'll just go back and forth calling each other all sorts of goofy stuff

Ollie. Butterfly. Hummingbird. Bumblebee. Morning glory. Buttercup. Sunflower. Dragonfly. Dandelion. Sweet pea. Bell pepper. Sweet potato. Milkshake. Apple fritter. Cornbread. Texas toast. Egg sugar salt flour bake at 350 degrees-

—

Suffice to say, neither the Onceler nor Artic had good families. But even if their circumstances were similar, the way they responded to it are near opposites.

The Onceler still wants to believe that his family cares about him.

Given how his family lives in the middle of nowhere, maybe he didn’t leave very often. And between that and a lack of friends, he never had much frame of reference for what’s healthy and normal.

He’s so used to just giving in and doing what they want, in the hopes that eventually they’ll see how hard he’s worked and give him the validation he craves. He set out on this whole journey to prove himself to his family.

He’s always been told that family is important, if not the most important thing out there. Blood runs thicker than water, they say. He still talks to them because they’re his family, how could he ever let them go?

So he keeps convincing himself that if he just tries hard enough, everything will work out. 

—

Meanwhile Artic set out to prove to herself that there’s more to life than a cluttered room.

You go outside and feel fresh air fill your lungs and you remember the world is real again. Those mountains in the distance can be touched! They can be climbed!

There’s a feeling in your chest, in your gut. All the things you never did, all the things you never said. All that pent-up energy built up into the very core of your being and left to fester, acidic and searing through anything it touches.

But it doesn’t feel like that anymore. It hasn’t ever since you came to the valley.

Ever since you left that house you knew you were searching for something, but you could never quite figure out what.

But the answer was right here all along. You were looking for home.

Home is an unfamiliar concept to you. A vague sensation, a faraway daydream, something you never thought you’d see. But it’s here now. You’ve found it.

Open windows. A sunlit room. The smell of a cake in the oven. The soft strumming of music in the air. A warm embrace under soft, heavy blankets. You’re safe. You’re home.

—

Sometimes there are long, tearful nights talking about the past. Both of them coming to the realization that their circumstances were not, in fact, the most normal thing in the world. Nor did they deserve that treatment.

Both of them have been hurting for a long, long time. But in the subtle way, the way that makes you question if you’re just overreacting. A hundred little “not as bad as it could’ve beens”, tucked away in the cabinet.

One night, during one of these talks, Artic asks if she's… Damaged goods, so to speak. Of course to which the Onceler says she's not a burden at all!

We're both fruit in the basket that's been a little battered up but if there's anything he's learned on the farm, it's that overripe bananas make the best banana bread, and sometimes the watermelons with spots and webbing are the sweetest.

Like he just goes on a tangent about ripeness and flavor in crops and it's adorable and she's just watching him with a smile <3

Because now that they’re here, they can start to heal. They’ve found home in each other, and now, they’re never letting go. Figuratively or literally, they’re so snuggly they just cling to each other in their sleep like their lives depend on it

Also Artic has pajamas similar to the Onceler’s! Except they’re pink with offwhite hearts, and with short sleeves and shorts. And socks, specifically the white ones with the gray toe and heel ouo

—

With the sharp ringing of the telephone, the Onceler’s family calls him insisting to know where he is. Not because of his invention, but because they want money from him.

This wasn’t new, and back at the house, he had a habit of hiding his stuff so nobody would steal it. But when his family found out he had been hiding money from them, they’d just guilt trip him into handing it over anyways.

But if you budge on your boundaries, that won’t satisfy them. They’re just gonna keep pushing now that they know the pressure works.

—

So it isn’t long until a trailer barrels through the forest, and boy is it a mess

His family clowning him for living in the middle of the woods and still not amounting to anything, his mom keeps calling Artic his girlfriend (derogatory), everybody’s just trampling around like they own the place.

And while the Onceler is still very intimidated by all this, his movements made stiff with stress, he is able to stand up for himself thanks to Artic’s support. But they still show no signs of leaving.

So, Artic meets up with the Lorax and the animals and gets to planning. After all, they do say that intruders get cursed by the forces of nature…

Through a combination of nature and machine, a buncha little contraptions get set up in the night to scare the Onceler’s family away! And a sigh of relief sweeps through the valley-

When the trailer barreled in and outta there, a lot of trees got trampled and snapped. The leftover wood was then used for firewood, among other things.

The wood itself smells pleasantly sweet when burned, and they discovered that the inner bark makes for a cinnamon-like powder that tastes like butterscotch!

—

And for a while, things are back to normal, with the duo’s latest adventure being exploring the valley, charting it all on a big ol map! But one day…

He’s not quite sure how it happened. Artic was seemingly gone without a trace.

Both of them often split up to do their own thing, so it wasn’t a worry at first, but the day was almost over and she hadn’t even left a note. Maybe she had gotten lost in the valley? But her wings and the map were still at the cottage.

The Lorax says that he spotted her in town earlier, having what was clearly a tense conversation with someone he had never seen. He swore he only looked away for a second, but with that, she was gone like the breeze.

So with that, he grabbed his wings and set out to find her. Without much of a lead, the search took days on foot and hoof and wing alike. But eventually, he found it.

—

A regular old house, or so it would seem, In a place where not even fireflies gleam Grass that grickled and tickled and scratched at your skin A well-worn doormat that beckons you in

And in the dark hues of blues in the night Where clouds came to stifle the full moon’s light All the windows were shut, locked as tight as they could All but one, where a lone figure stood

There behind the curtains Look close and you’ll see Soft blue eyes drip, drip, dripping

—

I’m not exactly sure how her family found her in Greenville, or why they brought her back. I imagine for some kind of family event? But then there was a holiday coming up soon, and this, and this, and before she knew it she was living there again.

And she stayed there because she felt like she didn’t have a choice. That, and, she thought she could help. Her family is struggling, but if she stays any longer, this house threatens to swallow her whole.

Artic looked… Tired. Awfully so. She glanced to the side, almost yelling in surprise as she finally noticed the Onceler standing there at the windowsill sjkfsd

Hushed chatter, a quick kiss, having to hide and pretend to be asleep at one point… The hope in her eyes, accentuated with tears that sparkled in the hazy moonlight, was heartbreakingly bittersweet. I missed you so much.

…I wanna go home.

Then let’s go home.

—

When they get back everything seems all fine and dandy, but Artic can’t help but wonder.

They had bonded over their passion and spirit of adventure. For being as bright as the sun and twice as energetic. For all the ideas they’ve shared and the things they’ve made and the places they’ve been.

But what if she can’t always be like that? Would he still love her then? When she’s tired and scared and can’t get anything done? When she feels as though she could shatter at any moment? When she needs a lot of comfort and encouragement just to keep going?

She resents feeling so down, telling herself that she’s not supposed to be like this. That she’ll just bring everyone down with her.

Is it not Euridice’s fault for dying, for being the reason Orpheus trekked into the underworld? She’s terrified of losing what they have, but even more scared of being the reason it fizzles out.

But she’s brought out of her thoughts as a hand gently pushes the hair out of her face, followed by a dreamy sigh. There she is. There’s the girl he fell in love with.

—

Of course he’ll still love her when she’s feeling blue. How could he not? The Onceler fell in love with her, not just her happiness. How could he not love her in her darkest moments when she did the same for him? How could he not?

And besides, you can’t expect anyone to be happy all the time, especially not with what we’ve been through. You don’t have to be a certain way to be lovable, to be loved. You just are.

I love you. And I’ll say it as many times as I need to convince you.

—

One of these nights, they have dreams of if things were different. If the Onceler achieved incredible success beyond his wildest dreams, but it came at a cost. Of the valley, of his workers, of Artic.

Basically they dream of the Biggering AU, and when they wake up to tell each other the crazy dream they just had, they realize that the events line up perfectly. Some kinda funky shared dream situation

When they go and ask the Lorax about it, he just says that the valley works in mysterious ways.

To which the Onceler scoffs. He can believe a colorful valley and a giant furry peanut, but either of them being magic is too far!

The dream spurs conversation of what could’ve gone differently, if they would change things if they could, and if it would even be worth it.

But while things haven’t been perfect, they have each other, and they wouldn’t trade that for the world. The time will pass anyways, so might as well enjoy it.

They have another shared dream later, but this time it’s all sweet and fluffy with giant fruit ouo

—

Here is the playlist!!

High Hopes: The Onceler setting out on his journey, always keeping his eyes to the skies, even when the light hurts. He’s gonna shine that bright one day. Taking his mother’s words like "burn your biographies" and "light up your wildest dreams" and twisting them into something positive. This song is the embodiment of the Onceler’s optimism.

The Mall & Misery: The journey itself! Passing under archways of branches and leaves, across expanses of sand, over the rivers and through the reeds. Humble beginnings, working with what you’ve got, hope in every step. You are destined for greatness. And somewhere, a girl lives and breathes…

The Once-ler’s Traveling Madness: But yknow, even soon-to-be great inventors get bored sometimes.

World’s Smallest Violin: Meeting Artic!! Wanting to be something more, having ambitions so high it burns in your chest. I don’t think I can properly articulate the magic in this song. “Like finishing this melody / This feels like a necessity / So this could be the death of me / Or maybe just a better me!!”

This Is The Place (Tricky Version): Tricky version my beloveddddd I love how this song shows so much of his personality!! How he just carelessly hops from one thing to the next with a tip of his hat

Onceler Lorax Meet: This is also here just because I love this part of the OST, it’s so fun :D

Put Your Records On: Sunny days and a cool breeze, just Artic and the Onceler in the valley together! Loosening up a little, being goofy and free, calling each other silly nicknames! Believing in the Onceler when no one else did, hoping that his dreams come true ouo

Stars At Our Backs: I just can't help but think of this song when I think of the test flight, or just flying with the wings in general!! The spirit of adventure, the determination to try and try again and make this work, and that part at 2:35 just has this sappy romantic feel to it hehe -u-

Houseguests: Also just part of the OST bc I love it ouo

Everybody Needs A Thneed: The two of them are brainstorming songs to help him sell his thneed, and this is what Artic comes up with! There’s a little scene of her performing it in the cottage and it’s just delightful :D

Nobody Needs A Thneed: Another banger of a scrapped song!! ALSO THIS STORYBOARD IS CANON. TO ME.

Yesterday: Based on this hc!! In terms of story, this could be him still feeling down after failing to sell the thneed, playing the melodica since his guitar isn’t fixed yet.

Fine: Artic, the Lorax, and the animals cheering him up! Making him feel welcome, showing him that this isn’t the end. Another representation of his persistent optimism, and even the guitar in the song shows that it’s been fixed! ouo

September: Just soft and cozy and whimsical vibes -u-

Hot Chocolate: HOT CHOCOLATE SCENE MY BELOVEDDD :D This song is what inspired it in the first place!!

All I Want For Christmas Is You: THIS SONG. This has been stuck in my head for so long because of him. I JUST WANNA SEE MY BABYY STANDING THERE OUTSIDE MY DOOR- And the Onceler unironically loves this song, he’s suuuch a Christmas guy

Yes to Heaven: I struggle to describe what this one means. Somewhere between the Onceler being able to stand up to his family with Artic’s support, them realizing their love for each other, and how this is an AU where he doesn’t destroy the environment and it’s just peaceful ouo

With You Around: AND ALL MY LIFE I LOOKED FOR YOUUUU FOR ARMS THAT I COULD FALL INTOOOOO- If the Onceler family leaving marked the end of the movie, this is the opening to part two :D

Moon: There’s this scene where they make their way up a super tall hill that peeks above the clouds, taking in the view <3 Also there’s a single truffula fruit up there that’s the sweetest they’ve ever tasted

Search for the Girl: What the title says, the Onceler and his search for the missing Artic!

If I Needed You: Finding her and taking her home…….. Also it’s sung by Ed Helms ouo

Home: And here’s the part where I start crying if I haven’t already- They’re home now….. They’re safe….. They know each other better than anyone and the future is the soft glow of the sun peeking through the curtains on a brisk morning <3

We Fell in Love in October: I love you. And I’ll say it as many times as I need to convince you. AAAAAUGH

Go To Sleep!: Now with all that being said, it’s late and you have a bad habit of staying up. Time for eepy

Butterfly Wings: The shared dream plot! Also butterfly is one of the Onceler’s favorite nicknames for Artic <3

Strawberry Avalanche: A direct reference to the last dream with its giant fruit, just something unabashedly sweet and fluffy after everything these two have been through ouo

Sweet Little Bumblebee: Yeah I have no lore explanation for this I just like imagining them dancing to this song. Also sometimes the Onceler calls her bumblebee!

Hamtaro Credits: Artic finds some old Hamtaro DVDs in town so they watch some episodes together and it’s just nice and nostalgic. I picture them trying to do the little credits dance, and it makes for a cute end to the playlist ouo

—

And lastly, if you made it this far, here's an old sketch of the hot chocolate scene that I really wanna fully draw someday :D

[grapenamjams]

waking up with you

Genre: Fluff 

Characters: Muriel from the arcana and my apprentice Eliza

A/N:  a little bit about my MC 

Her name is Eliza (she/her. Female.) She is 5′2 has brown wavy hair, brown eyes (with specks of green) she also has adorable freckles across her nose. lastly she has a artic fox, named Nell as a familiar who is enchanted to keep cold during the summer and whenever Nell walks she leaves behind snow prints on the ground (think of what Olaf from frozen has lol) 

- The Arcana is a Mobile story game where you get to choose your path and get a ending according to the choices you made. created by nixhyrdra, can be found on the app store- 

Eliza always finds waking up in Muriel’s hut a challenge. The boulders that make up the walls for the small living space limits the amount of morning light that seeps through to let her know that it’s a new day. She convinced Muriel to put a round window on top of the door sometime ago to have some natural light come in but from the fur bed in the back, the light that does come through doesn't do much good to wake her. So because of that she has to rely on her inner clock to wake her self up which in most cases works, but usually she lets Muriel wake her up when she feels the loss of warmth beside her or when she hears rustling near the fire as he puts new logs and makes sure it didn’t go out during the night. But today, Muriel woke her in a way that only happens a few times a month, rather shes only caught him a handful of times.

She feels Muriel push her hair back gently away from her face and slowly goes down her cheek with his knuckles. She tries to continue her slow breathing to make it seem that she is sleep, although its becoming harder to do so when her heart begins to race inside her chest. she feels Muriel’s finger brush against her bottom lip and rest on her chin. “Eliza.” His deep voice sounds out next to her. She feels his lips on her forehead next, “wake up” he mumbles against her and kisses her head again, without knowing a sigh escapes her, she feels Muriel pull away to look at her and she catches herself to not visibly frown at the loss of touch. Muriel chuckles “you’re gonna be late to open up shop if you stay asleep” he nuzzles his nose against hers and she can’t help but let out a small giggle at his cute affection.

 She opens her eyes to see Muriel above her sit up pink tinting his cheeks “y-your awake!” Her smile broadens at him “I thought I heard you telling me to wake up?” She sits up and stretches her arms above her letting out a groan. “I did...I mean I’m sorry for waking you! But you know the shop and all...” He rubs the back of his neck, he shyly looks at Eliza “Um...Did you....uhhh” his face goes bright red and she knows that he’s wondering if she had felt him kiss her, and as much as she wants to say yes to see his reaction she doesn’t want him to stop waking her the way he did today. “Thats okay you don’t have to apologize, I just heard your voice calling me” she leans over to him and kisses him “and I slept well thank you for asking” Eliza smiles and Muriel blinks at her for a moment confused as why she said that, but then he understands that she might have thought that he was asking how she slept not if she felt his touch and kiss. But still he stammers with his words “well...” he coughs “good. I’m glad...” he quickly turns behind him to grab something and when he comes back to face the waking girl he has a Plate in his hands. “I- uh made you breakfast. If you want.” He pouts, the red on his face turning to a soft blush on the bridge of his nose “so you don’t forget to eat...I thought you should have something before you go”

 Eliza cheeks hurt from smiling and her heart flutters “Muriel this is so nice, thank you so much! You didn’t have to” Eliza takes away the plate of eggs and sliced fruit from him and gives him a peck on the cheek. Muriel smiles and averts his gaze somewhere else “it’s nothing.” Eliza smiles at him trying to pass off his actions of care and affection as something small and not a big deal, but In turn makes her love and appreciate them even more. She shifts to make herself more comfortable on the bed “did you already eat?” She asks as she brings the fork to her mouth and takes a bite of eggs. Muriel turns to her and shakes his head “not really hungry.” Eliza frowns she feels bad eating when he hasn’t, Muriel notices and quickly reassures her “I’ll eat soon I promise. Don’t worry” Eliza sighs, for a big man Muriel doesn’t really eat a lot just the bare minimal to not waste food, a habit he kept from his time as an orphan living on the docks. but of course it still makes her worry she wants him to be healthy and enjoy life’s delicacies. She shifts closer to him, “I’ll hold you to that” she picks a sliced fruit from her plate “but for now help me eat this fruit, yeah?” He looks at her then the bright colored fruit between her fingers, hesitant at first not wanting to eat her food but after a pause he nodes seeing her face wanting him to eat something with her. “if it makes you feel better” Eliza smiles and feeds him the fruit she blushes lightly watching his lips take the fruit from her fingers. She takes another bite of her eggs and feeds another piece of fruit to Muriel.

 Once all of the food is gone, Eliza sighs happily and thanks Muriel again for the food. but then Remembers that she needs to leave soon or else she will be more late than she already is in opening the shop. Muriel quickly catches on her change of mood “what’s wrong?” He asks looking at her wanting to know why her smile had faded. Eliza goes to him and hugs his waist laying her head on his chest listening to his steady heart beat she feels the vibrations of his laugh through her when she voices  she doesn't want to leave. Muriel puts his hands around her resting his chin on her head.

 “Can’t I just stay here with you?” Her voice asks. She feels his large hand rub up and down her back. “Of course you can. But... didn’t Asra leave again yesterday and closed up early?” Eliza sighs “yeah he did. and I’m already late today... so I better get going” Muriel hums in agreement and places a kiss on her head before standing up with her. Eliza gives a final stretch and begins to get ready. Muriel steps out with Inanna so Eliza could have more room inside the hut. Before she gets ready she gives Nell a piece of bread so she can eat for now. she scratches her ear “good morning pretty girl” Nell thumps her tail against the floor waiting for more food. Eliza laughs “I’ll give you more food when we get to the shop”

* * *

Eliza followed by her familiar step through the door into the warm day, the sun slowly making its way towards the center of the blue sky. Eliza slips her satchel over her head placing it to her side and buttons her deep blue cloak around her shoulders. Her eyes wonder in search for the tall man and finds him kneeled by the chicken pen feeding the chicks from his opened left hand. As she walks towards him she notices that Muriel has his cloak on which puzzles her because he doesn’t usually wear it when he’s at home. “Muriel” She says placing a hand on the back of his head and runs her fingers through his dark hair , “I’m off” Muriel shakes the rest of the feed off his hand and stands up. She hugs him looking up at him, the large man places a hand against the side of her neck. “I’ll see you in the evening okay? I’ll bring back some food to eat together, so don’t worry about cooking” Eliza smiles and makes to step  back but Muriel stops her

“I actually need stuff from the shop... for protection charms.”

“Ah okay, what do you need? I’ll bring them to you when I come back” she looks at him waiting for him to tell her what he needs but the green eyed man only pouts and blushes a bit. “that’s-uh not what I meant.” Eliza tilts her head to the side slightly “what do you mean? You don’t need ingredients then?”

“I do... but i don’t want you bringing them to me.” He pauses for a moment. Eliza is still confused for a moment thinking what he could mean but then realization starts to come through as she realizes he’s holding on to her wrist.

 “Also you’re gonna be alone at the shop...I know there’s a protective spell around it but still...something could happen.” She looks back up to his face and sees that he still is pouting and averting his eyes.

Eliza lets out a small laugh making the shy man before her look down at her. “Muriel are you trying to say you want to come to the shop with me?” He hangs his head and nodes “yes.” He mumbles. Eliza blushes overjoyed that he wants to come with her to the shop. With the hand that Muriel is holding her wrist Eliza slips her fingers through his, holding his hand as she goes on to her tippy toes to give him a kiss “why are you so adorable?” Making Muriel’s blush reach his ears. “I’m not adorable.” He says back. Eliza goes back down and gently tugs at his hand to start walking “mmhmm sure your not, come on let’s go” she says with a laugh. She doesn't see Muriel look at her with a soft grin on his face, relaxing his shoulders as he squeezes her small hand in his letting her lead him away.

[fereality-indy]

Wendip Week Day Seven - Bedtime Story

June 21, 2024

Pines Residence

Dipper is seated on a folding chair he brought into his daughters room so he could tell a tale to his children and their twin cousins. “And then King Mermando of the ocean kingdom, Costa del Pacifico, sent a missive…”

Lil Debbie piped up, “That means itsa imporant letter.”

“Ohh,” the three younger boys say in almost unison.

“That’s right Debbiekins,” Dipper said as he ruffled his daughters hair “I guess being around Grunkle Ford has helped your vocabulary.”

“Yeppers, and he helped me wif my butterflies.”  Debbie said as she was trying to fix what her dad did to her hair.

“Story!” Terry started chanting from his sleeping bag.

“Story!” His two cousins added.

“Alright guys, I get it.” Dipper said as he raised his hands up in defeat, “now where was I, oh yeah the letter. Well in it King Mermando spoke of the fact that a group of his subjects were out on an excursion to a land in the north and had come into trouble. And so he asked that Lady Gwendolyn of the Woods and her companion Stoneworker travel to their last known location and to see if they would be able to help them.”

“Course dey will, Lady Gwennie and Worker are the best.” Ricky called out.

“An de in luv,” Ed added.

“Aw, you always talk luv. Deyre fighters, not luvers.” Ricky said as he shoved his brother.

“Richard, you be nice!” Debbie called from her bed as that one shove became a shoving match between her cousins.  

"Do you two want me to continue?” Dipper said in a ‘and I mean it ‘ voice.

Both boys quickly settled back into their sleeping bags, while Debbie had a smug ‘I Told You So’ look. Seeing they quit Dipper continued the story.

++

“M’lady this shall be a long trek, do you want me to prepare my wagon for the trip.” Stoneworker asked as they went about gathering supplies for the trip.

“It would be best to take my carriage so we will have sleeping quarters if needed.” The redheaded warrior said as she finished packing.

After a quick trip to see Stoneworker’s uncle, the Inventor. He had some gadgets that may come in handy, though Lady Gwendolyn felt that the their own skills would be more than enough to handle whatever they come across.

They head out across the countryside towards the destination they were given in the missive. Their trek took three days and they spent the three nights in each other’s company. On the fourth day they arrived at the location and began their search. It was a beach, but the weather was so cold  neither of them wished to take a swim.    

“Stoneworker, my trusted companion, it appears they were here recently.” Lady Gwendolyn said as she was studying the tracks they discovered. “A day or two at the most. But they weren’t alone. There are other tracks here. Heavy and larger than normal.”

“From the looks of things the others are definitely bipedal and either they all are dragging a pack of some type, or they have a large tail.” Stoneworker added as they continued their tracking. About a half hour into their tracking they happened upon the start on an inlet.

“There was a scuffle of some sort here. The water has taken most of the evidence, but there are some surefire marks in the cliff wall there.” Gwendolyn said as she pointed out three large gouges the stone. Getting a closer look at them she added, “And these are fresh.”

She pulled out her trusty ax that Stoneworker had endowed with runes of protection. Seeing this Stoneworker activated the enchantments in his own gloves. He still preferred to outwit his opponents, but was perfectly willing to fight his foes and these enchantments gave his punches an added jolt. And from what they found he may need it. There in front of a cavern they were too large to enter and despite there being snow on the ground, stood 4 crocodile Men.

++

"Wait a minute, Daddy. Great Grunkle Ford says that crocdiles are poikiro, poilikilo, coldblooded.” Debbie said, breaking into the story. Then she asked, “How are they able to be moving if there’s snow on the ground. They should be hypermating.”

Dipper chuckled a little at his daughter’s faux pas before responding, “Well, honey. First off I think you mean Hibernating, and secondly I was getting to that.”

++

Stoneworker and Gwendolyn moved closer as watched the Croc-Men attempt to reach whatever had hidden in the small cave. They were dressed rather warmly, but even then the cold should have made them too lethargic to be moving. The cold northwestern, winter weather was no where near that of the warm southern swampland these critters usually call home. Then one turned to speak to it’s fellows and we saw it. On his chest there was a glowing stone that seemed to radiate heat.

“They are too well entrenched. Martok take Merlok and find some fire wood. We’ll either smoke them out or have smoked jerky when we get to them. Hahaha.”  The one who appeared to be in charge said to the one closest to him.

Gwendolyn signaled to Stoneworker to back out of the inlet. They quickly backed out and found a hiding place, once the Croc-men had passed Gwendolyn signaled to follow them. They stopped around another twenty yards or so and that was when our heroes struck. Gwendolyn tapped the taller of the two on it’s shoulder and when it turned she hit it in the stomach with the flat of her ax. As it bent over she brought her knee up under it’s jaw rocking it’s head up and backwards. While this was happening the other Croc-Man turned to see what happened and was met by Stoneworker. Before he could react Stoneworker reached up and pulled the glowing stone off the Croc-Man. Though it glowed as if it was burning hot, Stoneworker found that he now felt as if he was standing in a warm summer day. The Croc-Man immediately felt the cold and dropped to his knees before falling in a deep sleep.

“That’s what I thought would happen,” Stoneworker said after the Croc-Man fell. Seeing a slightly confused look on Gwendolyn’s beautiful face he added, “They’re reptiles, they essentially hibernate in the cold weather.”  

They took time to bound their foes together with their hands tied behind the other’s back so that they could share the stone.  They also bound their feet and snouts separately.  When they were certain these Croc-Men would not a hassle, they began heading back towards the inlet.    

“Alright when we get there I will go for the leader, you take the smaller…” Gwendolyn was saying as they heard a scream.

“No, Somebody help me!” a young voice called from inside the inlet. As they turned the corner they saw The two Croc-Men holding a young bull seal between them. And the voice was coming from the seal.  “I just want to get my sister some food, you guys have kept us in there for two days. Do what you want to me but first let me get her some fish. She is young and needs to eat.”

“Tough luck, chiot. We’re hungry enough dat it won’t mattah ta us if she’s skin n bones or not.” The lead Croc-Man said.

"Yes, we be hungry too.” The other Croc-Man added.

“No!” A smaller seal pup called as it rushed out of the cave.

“I knew grabin’ one draw out da others. Grab her.” The lead Croc-Man said as he pulled the seal he was holding out of his partner’s grip.

Gwendolyn rushed towards the two Croc-Men intent on putting a stop to the scene before her, only to be outpaced by her younger partner.

“You need to pick on someone your own size!” Stoneworker said as he jumped and delivered a double closed fist to the top of the Croc-Man chasing the smaller seal. The force of his blow combined with the jolt of electricity his gloves held sent the cryptid to the ground. He then turns to the small pup, “It’ll be ok. We here on the request of King Mermando.”

Gwendolyn continued her rush and quickly brought her ax down across the wrist of the lead Croc-Man causing him to drop the seal pup. She then dropped low and swept his feet out from under him. Before he had a chance to try and rise up she was there with the blade of her ax blade at his throat.

“Give me a reason!” she said as she looked into his eyes.

“Brother!” the smaller seal pup called as it moved towards where the leader had dropped her brother.

“I am fine.” The larger pup said as his sister made it to him, “Father, it is safe. We have envoys from King Mermando. They saved us.”

At that there was a glow coming from the entrance to the cavern and it began to open further. When it was large enough that Stoneworker could walk into it, albeit crouched, out came a large bull seal and a medium sized seal cow.

"Greetings. Thank you for saving my family.” The bull said as he moved towards his children. “I am Jestin, Canciller of my lord King Mermando, and this is my wife Lynneth. We were on a mission to open trade negotiations with the Artic Court when we encountered these brutes. I sent an attendant back to the capital and we hid ourselves in this cave.”

“I am Lady Gwendolyn of the Woods and this is my consort Stoneworker.” Gwendolyn said as Stoneworker was tying  up the lead Croc-Man. When he was done she removed her ax from where it was sitting on it’s neck. “We left the other two around the bend. We shall leave their fate up to you.”  

++

“And once the miscreants were gathered Jestin shrunk them down with the same magic he had used on the cave passageway and placed them and a small fish in a jar for transportation. They then bid our heroes adieu and returned to the sea and to their kindom.” Dipper said as he finished up the story.

In a sleepy voice Terry asked, “But Daddy what happen to the bad guys.”

“Well when Gwendolyn and Stoneworker were next invited to the court of King Mermando, they were granted knighthood and they found out that the Croc-Men were released on a small, secluded, swampy island as a prison.” Dipper replied as he turned off the desk lamp, leaving a night light as the only illumination in the room.

As he went out into the hall he was met by his wife who gave him a quick kiss.

“So what story did tell them tonight? How Paz and Mabel took over Northwest Industries by becoming the majority stockholders or maybe Gwendolyn and Stoneworker at the haunted grocers?” Wendy asked as they headed towards their bedroom.

“Nah, I told them about the family of seals we, I mean, Lady Gwendolyn and Stoneworker saved for Mermando a couple of years ago.” Dipper said as he entered their bedroom.

Well better late than never. I decided to finish up the final prompt and post it today as a gift to my fans on my birthday.

[im-the-punk-who]

OH MY GOD HI YOU GOT ME TALKING ABOUT THE ONE THING THAT WILL MAKE ME LOSE MY ABSOLUTE SHIT.

So, I work with a spitz/artic breed rescue as part of my training gig, and I specifically like to pull very large, aggressive dogs, because that’s my thing. The biggest dog I have right now is a 98 lb malamute. He is very cute. His name is Balto. He is a malamute(if not a full breed, mixed with husky or something similar. 

This was him at about 13 months. He’s a bit bulkier and hairier now but you get the gist. 

I cannot TELL YOU how many times a day this dog gets called a wolf. Even my smaller dogs(I own a husky and a GSD as well) routinely get called wolves because anything that looks vaguely wolflike is a wolf i guess??? idk that’s a whole other discussion) but this. This is not a wolf! 

I have had the privilege to meet two legit wolf hybrids in my life. You know immediately when you see the real deal. There is no comparing a spitz breed to a wolf, physically.

Mentally, they’re even MORE different. Even the most tame wolf is still only one or two generations away from being wild. Dogs - yes, including sled breeds PLEASE don’t let anyone tell you that because their dog came from a sled line it’s wild PLEEEEASE - have been domesticated for thousandsssss of years. Even the most aggressive dogs are not aggressive because they are wild and that’s a distinction that so few people make. Aggressive dogs are that way because of a lack of socialization which leads to anxiety and poor social skills. Wolves and wolf hybrids are aggressive because they would like to eat you as a tasty snack, or you are in their territory. Dogs don’t have the idea of territories like wolves do, no, not even Fritz who pees on every corner. There is a fundamental difference in the cause of aggression from dogs and wolves, and this is where so many people get themselves into trouble. 

Take Balto above. He is one of the most aggressive dogs I have ever worked with(I know he looks very nice and he is but he has in the past tried very hard to legitimately kill me.) Why? Because he felt threatened and wasn’t sure how else to respond. His preferred method of attack was to jump on your back and try to bite your neck or shoulders to wrestle you to the ground. It was #NotFun. We’re about a year into training and now, even if he does lose his cool, the most I’ll get are some nasty bruises and maybe a scrape or two. Why? Because we’ve been working really hard to get him to realize those steps in between being uncomfortable with a situation and full out blitzing someone. We can do this because he’s a dog(and doesn’t have any mental or medical reasons to be uncontrollably aggressive), and has generations of dog blood running through his veins telling him that humans are good and he doesn’t need to hunt or kill for his food. If he were a wolf, I would be dead. No question.

The problem though comes from this exact shit OP is talking about. Anyone who owns a fluffy spitz type breed loves to talk about how their dog is special, how huskies are descended from wolves and that’s why they’re so different temperamentally(lmao,no, Sharon, your dog is just an asshole because you bought into the myth that you can’t train a husky and let your dog run wild.) 

And then you get people on the street asking ‘is that a wolf??’ looking at some 30lb husky and the owner says ‘haha yeah’ and then that person will tell their kid or their friends or neighbors ‘look at that wolf’ to anything that looks vaugely like the dog they saw. You know. The husky. (Although I have legitimately had someone call a Shiba Inu a wolf so....oh god.)

Please, please, for the love of all that is holy, please stop calling huskies and other fluffy breeds wolves. It spreads so many misconceptions and truly hurts not just the wolves and wolf hybrids, and the dogs that get mistaken for them, but it also hurts all the spitz breed dogs whose owners fail to train them properly and leave them an anxious, uncontrollable mess for their entire lives because ‘he’s a wolf, that’s just how he is!’ 

NO, BETSY. YOUR DOG HAS ANXIETY. HE IS NOT A WOLF HE IS COMPLETELY WITHOUT BOUNDARIES OR GUIDELINES OF HOW TO BEHAVE IN A HEALTHY PROPER MANNER. 

When I started volunteering with a wolf preserve, something I learned very quickly is that a LOT of people like to think their dog is a wolfdog. This is seriously so so common to hear from people:

“Oh yeah I know how rowdy wolves are; I’ve actually got a husky/Timberwolf mix at home!”

I mean... maybe, but most likely no you do not. Wolves are misrepresented so often in media that it seems many people struggle to identify the features that come from true wolf genetics, as opposed to those from northern dog breeds. Irresponsible breeders know this, and they also know that claiming the malamute puppies they’re selling are 1/4 wolf will make those pups seem interesting and desirable to buyers. As a result, uneducated dog owners label their pet as a “Wolfdog” without knowing the serious consequences of doing so. It may seem like a harmless phenomenon but it really isn’t.

So why should we care if someone mislabels their dog a wolfdog? I feel there are 2 really big reasons why this is so dangerous

1- if you tell people your dog is a Wolfdog, some may believe you. They may think “Luna is just the most beautiful dog, sure she’s energetic but nothing I can’t handle. Maybe I should get a wolfdog too”. This is a problem because that individual could seek out a wolfdog to purchase and end up owning the genuine article, as opposed to your dubious backyard “wolfdog”. Wolves and dogs are SO different, due to the fact that humans spent thousands of years breeding out the traits that make them unsuitable for daily companionship. Wolf dogs will have a lot of those genes! They need a tremendous amount of space and diligent, specialized care from an experienced keeper. A rambunctious husky is not even close to the same level as a high content wolfdog. When unprepared people decide to own a wolfdog, it often ends very poorly. The sanctuary where I volunteered has had to take in several wolfdogs that were surrendered by owners who could not handle them.

2- The laws of ownership regarding wolfdogs are very different from those that govern pet ownership. Each state has varying legislation, with some requiring licenses based on the animal’s wolf content. If you claim that your dog is a wolfdog, they will likely be subject to laws that classify them as captive wildlife rather than a pet. Due to the fact that there is no approved rabies vaccine for wolves/wolfdogs, animal shelters that take these cases are often forced to euthanize any dog that has been classified as a “wolfdog” due to public safety concerns. There have been several tragic cases where dog owners mislabeled their pet as part wolf, and were unable to reclaim them from a shelter when the animal could not be certified rabies free. Telling people (even online) that your malamute a wolfdog can get it killed.

Wolves are great, dogs are great, and wolfdogs are great. We have devoted so much time to the study and care of all these animals that there is really no excuse for misrepresenting them. If you love your dog, love it for what it is! Mislabeling your pet as a wolf is really irresponsible and can cause misery for others that you never even see. For reference:

100% Grey Wolf

LOW content wolfdog

Absolutely 0% wolf 😅

[midnigtartist]

Stream Team Quotes

How the fuck does hair work i serve food to grouchy old people so i can’t wear dresses [about Johan] that dumb beautiful boy We’re never going to get this done, it’s gonna be aimee forgetting how to draw fucking hair oh okay that’s a butterfly official hamiltonhistory head cannon. Thomas jefferson has a trampstamp of the declaratoin of independence you pay in time and i give you shitty comments he loves that alex is just a little bit pudgy send #tiddiesout4jefferson to hamiltonhistory and Marianne cam would be enabling you hoodlums shitty au aka fast food au where all they do is makeout when ham should be doing inventory {thinks they finished lineart] Yes! {tests it] damnit! I bet people get dick tattoos but they probably hurt like a son of a bitch his voice kinda sounded like a muppet but my fiiiiiiissssssshhhhhh i might die in a firey inferno but fuck it man let me finish my panini have you seen daveed diggs? have yous seen Chris lee? yes jefferson has abs you take the snake babies and twist it in and around the other to tie your shoes why is nothing sacred to you? yes he is a daddy he has a son who FUCKING DIED everyone needs to go in the corner by the way oh philip how will i go on -turns and slaps nametag onto newborn son that says “better philip”- lawless dabbing mom #tiddiesout4jefferson ask me what i’ll draw for the tattoos and i’ll answer you vaugly it’s his whole life so i have to kill his son if you’re not a jamilton shipper this is the wrong fuckign stream for you artic mankeys the stream exploded! the stream exploded! help my browser is trying to sell my illegal shit if one person says daddy i’m turning the stream off -chat screams daddy- when he was 16 he had a fake id and went and got three little birds up on his shoulder so it’s for his mother, his brother, and hIS FATHER THAT HE NEVER KNEW Oh god, oh god this was a bad idea tweet tweet bitches Again i’ve never been outside so… 20 minutes of aimee and cam screaming trying to get mics to work undistinguishable noises FUCK THE STREAM EXPLOADED AGAIN did the stream freeze- fuck i might go to jail but it’ll be worth it if it’s too cheesy feel free to come to chicago to stab me the stream has mellowed… this is bad next thing. John Laurens fucking dies DON’T EAT CHAPSTICK- oh chopstick stop voring the founding father’s god damnit if anyone asks why i’m not a tattoo artist i’m going to show them this aimee has an emotional breakdown because her art isn’t shit lets normalize older romances, let them get married when jefferson is like 50. LET IT HAPPEN Cause jefferson’s a hoe? see it’s gaudy, because jefferson is a gaudy piece of shit -raps ith bar scene- WHO WANTS WATERMELON GIVE ME THAT FUCKING WATERMELON (why are assholes in trench coats you’re kink ie jd the squip) also bill cypher and Jefferson don’t leave them out they are my husbands why do you want sharkjamilton, just let it die random ass quotes from ITH Sonny is like the trash can is on fire outside but it’s fine Don’t make me choose between Josnavi and Jamilton. Josnavi is soft and Jamilton is everything i’ve ever needed “Say something sexy” “Estoy cansado” - limpy Succo el dicko Good fucking job are y'all proud of yourself. Ham would punch jefferson in the fucking dick if he saw him wearing it. and honestly so would i guess what? fucking murder me we had titties out for jeffesron and now jefferson has his titties out hamilton farm au- thats just alex going to monticello and wanting to kill everything #dickosoutforusnavi you’ve got to write about jefferson teaching alex too ride… like horses…. and shit get that leggy way up there jerry is a whore jerry is a hoe #kinkshamethechat v #kinksamethechat goddamnit everyone is navi now

—

no editing we die like men

[thatsnomoonknightlight]

Tagged by @orsonkraennic 

1. Are you named after someone? Oh Christ yes, my name is an insane series of the person you were named after was the opposite gender. So my dead name came from a dude, but my middle name (Alexander) came from a chick and like idk wtf my mother was on but it’s all dumb.

2. When was the last time you cried? I honestly don’t cry much, but last night I was so exhausted I very nearly cried over one of the cats shaking paws with my roommate

3. Do you like your handwriting? Never thought about it before, I mean in high school I got bored and learned to write in a ton of different...is fonts the right word? Idk so my hand writing really shifts a lot. I like it best when I write small, tight letters.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Lunch meat is disgusting

5. Do you have kids? Nope. Though Helix mentioned his cat, so I have 3 cats and they’re all complete idiots

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Hi I’m vain as fuck and I would love to be friends with me

7. Do you use sarcasm? I need that dumb bumper sticker that says I’m fluent I actually hate that bumper sticker and use it as a metric to find people to avoid

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Unless I am unaware of it, like somebody secretly knocked me out and stole them or the aliens took em, I’m pretty sure they’re still there

9. Would you bungee jump? Listen, good on you if you want to throw yourself down a cliff face or off a bridge, but I like my neck the way it is thanks

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? I’m not really a cereal person, though I did find these dumb Thin Mint Girl Scout cookie things and fuck me they are stupidly good 

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? That really depends on the shoe. Sneakers generally can be kicked off, but my foot wear often includes fabulous boots or dress shoes and those absolutely need to be untied.

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? *clutches award close and tries not to cry* I get my strength from my friends *blows nose*

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Motha fuckin Minty Choco Chippy!!!!

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Either eyes and hair, or clothes and shoes.

15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Well my vanity and disphoria are battling over this one. I’ll pick my toes. I mean I hate feet, but my toes are weird looking. Thank fuck for fabulous foot wear!

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Just woke up so my Kylo Ren boxers and nada on the feet

17. What are you listening to right now? *gets deep* the sound of cars passing and cats playing

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? You know those metallic ones that you always save? I’d be the silver one

19. Favorite smell? Woodsy cologne. Oh man if you have like a mahogany based scent I will do whatever you want

20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Uhhhhh.....fuck...my mother?

21. Favorite sport to watch? I really like Baseball fight me, and I’m getting into hockey now

22. Hair color? Natural color is like that shitty mousy brown color, I dye it black and it fades to a gorgeous auburn

23. Eye color? Hazel

24. Do you wear contacts? So I LOVE my glasses, but I have contacts and I wear them from time to time. Since I’ve discovered Zenni though I now have about 7 pairs of glasses and I’m just pleased as punch 

25. Favorite food to eat? Mashed potatoes...fuck now I want some

26. Scary movies or comedy? I am the biggest scaredy cat, but considering how abolute shit 95% of comedies are, I’ll take the scary movie

27. Last movie you watched? I just answered this, but it’s still prob Mad Max Fury Road

28. What color of shirt are you wearing? Light grey - strangely enough that’s the color I’m wearign (to clarify that was Helix’s answer)

29. Summer or winter? I am ALWAYS cold. ALWAYS. So give me summer every day of the week

30. Hugs or kisses? Money. (Hmm again I’ll go with Helix’s answer)

31. What book are you currently reading? Oh here we go again. Aftermath: Life Debt, Timekeeper, and Skullduggery Pleasant

32. Who do you miss right now? “she’s a silver lining, lone ranger riding through open space” (ahhhh Artic Monkey’s lyrics Helix your answer stays again!)

33. What is on your mouse pad? (Bones voice) what is this, the Dark Ages? (Honestly Helix is on point with this ask meme so lets keep it going)

34. What is the last TV program you watched? Was watching Brooklyn 99 with @impornialgarbage

35. What is the best sound? FOUR MILLION KRUGE ON MY BANK ACCOUNT THE SOUND OF DEATH STAR REACTOR POWERING UPTHE SWEET EMBRACE OF DEATH (Listen Helix why are we basically the same person?) Also the Rogue One Klaxon is a really fucking good sound

36. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? I dunno. It’s just whatever, my man. Actually, I’d say Queen. (Helix! Stop this! We’re the same person!)

37. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Okay but do you mean from home or in one go? Cause Italy is definitely the furthest I’ve gone, but the drive to Chicago and back last year is probably the longest in one go (I can’t count work, that’s dumb)

38. Do you have a special talent? I am always really good at completely useless things? I’m told I’m an excellent kisser. Uhhh talent...I really don’t know

I shall tag (and try not to tag the same people) @absurdistplayer @allthewians (since technically the last tag was because you tagged me, now I’m tagging back) let’s drag @benmendelsohnappreciation into this and @orson-bigdaddy-krennic

[marketinggangster]

How I Lost 41 Pounds - My Weight loss Journey

New Post has been published on http://thomaswooldridge.com/lost-41-pounds-weight-loss-journey/

How I Lost 41 Pounds - My Weight loss Journey

  I have been overweight for many years now. According to some medical experts I have become Obese.

The biggest weight I ever had was about 246 pounds and at 5’9″ was not a good fit for me.

My health was going down and I had to make a change or I will be held hostage in my own body.

What I am going to explain to you is how I got started and finally how I ended up using the Keto diet.

Like I said earlier I balloned to nearly 250 pounds and knew I had to fix it. I really hated to see myself in photos. Don’t let me be in the middle or front and I look like a giant compared to others. My face and head looked like it can take over the whole entire photo!

The strange thing is that you become comfortable with who you are and then you start to neglect whats important in life. I’ve become complacent with who I was.

Last December 2016 I was signing up for life insurance. One of the requirements was too off course get a blood test and speak a with a traveling nurse. I had to get the life insurance updated and getting this medical test was inevitable.

I told my insurance person to try to delay it out so I can drastically improve my health. He gave me two weeks.

Not sure what I can do in two weeks but I was able to loose about 20 pounds since the beginning of the year. During the month of December I was about 235 pounds. Exactly one year before that I got sick and caught walking pneumonia. I was in bed sick for nearly 1 week. During that time I was able to drop my weight to 221! But slowly I was able regain the weight back up.

What I did to bring my weight back down to 235 was simply Calorie in and Calorie Out. CICO

Basically I would eat around 2,000 calories for the work week Monday to Friday and then Cheat meals over the weekend. Eat anything I wanted!

The way I controlled my calories is by doing Sunday Meal Prep. Basically I purchased all my food bulk and make everything on Sunday. I would be cooking Beef Pot Roast in the slow cooker and at the same time baking chicken in the oven. On top of that I would have all four pots cooking on the stove of various vegetables stewing.

The strange thing is that you become comfortable with who you are and then you start to neglect whats… Click To Tweet

In the sink would be full of vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery, and carrots all being in the process of chopping up.

Sunday Meal Prep. Photo From Strictly Fitness Meal Preps

Start putting things in little sandwich baggies and Tupperware. Some was packed into the freezer for ready made dinner meals. I even got really good at making Mason Jar Salads.

Here were a few problems that I was having for this setup. Yes I did loose the weight but this Sunday Meal Prep was taking too much time (8 hours at times) and I was eating way too much on my cheat days.

But now back to 2 weeks before I get my medical exam for insurance.

Started thinking about what I can do to loose the weight and get back healthy again.

I started thinking back to what I did while I was sick. Didn’t have an appetite and thought about basically fasting my weight. Had no clue to what my weight should be to get the prefered weight but just went at.

It was difficult and failed miserably but I will say I did loose 4 pounds,, haha

Needless to say 5’9″ at 231 pounds still was considered obese. There was some good results. Most of my blood tests were in the normal range just my weight was too high.

Now fast forward to Christmas 2016 and I was taking a long drive to my in laws (About 3 hours) after I got out of the car my ankles were swollen to the point that I couldn’t bend them anymore!

I was concerned,, was this a diebties? Was this an illness?

Did some research and found out that this was pretty normal for people sitting for a long period of time. But normal for unhealthy obese individuals

TIME FOR A CHANGE

I did what people normally do in the month of January when it comes to my weight loss. Join a Gym.

I ended up picking a gym that I was on my way to work. That was Planet Fitness. It was only $10 a month well more like $15 a month if you add that annual fee they charge.

The first few weeks I was focused at going to the gym every day. It was great but the problem was it didn’t last. Waking up an hour early to head to the gym was not all to fun for me. I rather go to work early then waking up earlier than I normally should do.

Something had to change

FOCUS on DIET

I was listening to a Tim Ferris Podcast about the legendary music producer Rick Rubin. He talked about the amount of weight he loss (Over 200 pounds) just by focusing on diet first. Basically he and Tim mentioned that before you start exercising you need to figure out your diet.

The first process you need to correct is choosing the right kind of diet. Once you become discplined then adding exercises will be much easier. Too many people fail because they try to do both. Technically you don’t need to exercise to loose weight. You could lose weight by sitting in the bed all day. Hence that time few years ago when I got pneumonia.

So I started cutting my calories in half and reduced the cheat days from all weekend to just one day. Increased my vegetable greens and reduced my sugar/carb intake.

  Focus on your Diet before you start exercising to lose weight #diet Click To Tweet

Mindset training

Fast forward to February 2017, My weight loss is slowly getting traction but still not like what I wanted. Still was hovering around 230 pounds. I stumbled across a Youtube video about a guy named Wim Hof. This guy has broken bunch of Guinness Book of records

Wim Hoff did things like swim under artic ice cold water, hike up Mount Everset with his shirt off, marathon run across the Sahara desert without drinking any water.

The man is a super human but he explained what he did ANYONE can do. Simply just by doing his breathing method and Ice cold shower exercises.

I did it and I was hooked the very first time. Cold showers was tough but took some time to get use to. The biggest benefit of Cold Shower is that it burns FAT!

After breathing I would meditate for another 5 minutes and sometimes would fall asleep and wake up totally refreshed. I typically do these sessions right before or after noon.

Cold Showers burn FAT #wimhof Click To Tweet

You Gotta establish goals

I started to realize that I need to create goals and speak about them daily in order for me to get on the correct traction. This is what I learned while listening to Earl Nightingales the “Strangest Secret”.

What I did is put my target weight loss every Friday. What I did was put my target weight for the summer. On June I wanted to be under 200 pounds. I counted the number of weeks and subtracted the amount of weight I had to loose.

The number I came up with was to loose 2 pounds a week. My goal was so much clearer now. I just need to loose 2 pounds a week! How simple was that. I couldn’t believe that just simply putting my goal on paper made it so much easy.

My Daily Routine.

Every Morning I would print my daily schedule and write all my tasks of the day. I used this method while listing to a podcast about Deep Work. What I did added what tasks I was going to do at what hour of my time.

At same time I would journal about my weight. Every morning I would weigh myself and journal about it on my daily schedule. Typically it was something like. This morning I weight X and getting close to my target weight loss of X. I will walk an extra mile during my lunch break to burn some extra calories. Etc etc etc.

This helped me become highly productive and more focus.

Another Hit on my health

I had some serious issues with my teeth. I absolutely hated going to the dentist. Also it didn’t help that I didn’t have any dental insurance. My fillings in my back molars had fell out last summer of 2016. I can bare the pain and my gums got little tougher. Only issues was that it was constantly irritating that food would get caught and I would constantly pick and my teeth to remove it.

One day during lunch I felt like again food was caught between my teeth. Not having any toothpicks I broke of a tip of a plastic fork. Used it to Jam it between my tooth and then blood started gushing out my mouth.

I cracked my tooth right off!. I immediately went to the dentist.

The dentist was like “hey we haven’t seen you in 4 years! How is it going”  Yea they was funny, but they said my records showed that I had high blood pressure and before they worked on me they had to check it.

The hygenist took my blood pressure and it was like 175/130! I explained to them that I was just shocked of the broken tooth but they refused to work on me without a note from my doctor that it would be ok.

The doctor still looked my teeth and said it does need to pulled because of the decay but can wait til I get my blood pressure back down.

Drastic Change was needed

http://gty.im/590010056

I stumbled across a diet I never heard off and it was called the Keto Diet. Basically you have to eat FAT. It was very similar to Atkins diet which I heard of but it was all about the protein. Keto was all about FAT and low Carbs and sugar.

This is what I gotta try out.

Good news is that the first week on the diet was like WHOOOSH. Lost a lot weight but it was going up an down. The keto diet in the beginning is basically losing lots of water weight.

I am not going to lie that the first three weeks was very tough. Eliminating carbs and sugar was very hard to transition. I was like a crack head trying to go cold turkey. I felt like Pookie in the movie New Jack City

What I had to do is replenish my body with the right electrolytes. Even made my own recipe of Lite Salt, Magnesium, Himalayan pink salt, and lemon juice.

I kept pushing and now finally became Fat adapted. Basically I had reduced the use of insulin in my body and use my stored FAT as energy rather than carbs and sugar.

It’s not the end but still the beginning

I am still learning new methods to tweek my daily ritual. Started adding Bullet Journal and Intermittent fasting to my regime. Who knows what else I will be adding but that is my journey.

So far as May 7th, 2017 I can say that My mind is so much clearer and my body is burning fat everyday. This morning I weighed myself and got 205 pounds. That is almost 41 pounds in over 1 year.

Lets Review my Method AKA TWOOL9 STACKING Method

Focus on Diet first (Not heavy exercise)

Mindset Training (Wim Hof method and Meditation)

Establish Goals and Keep track by using Bullet Journaling

Daily Cold Showers

Add Exercises.

Here is my Open Source Weight Tracker for Public Viewing https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_XkvFXVAazjF4n2xPr4RdJ20sEf-6fKi3Z85a1wzV3U/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1HpV6E4bnFghRp3zFUpDu2IbDV12aJcb2Cp009BtJXHo/edit?usp=sharing

Make sure you subscribe to email and keep in touch with my journey.

Here is a video of how i got started.

[hellotvv]

Past weekend

Honestly this past weekend was pretty good. I wish I did more homework/school work, but it was a fun weekend. I kind of only went home this weekend, since pretty much all my friends were going home or Coachella. So I decided to go home Friday morning, since I was too lazy Thursday night to drive home. Friday morning, I made plans to meet up with Fyona and hang out. We were also doing a clothing shoot for this ugly clothing brand Bitroyd that paid Fyona and I $$$ to do a fashion shoot for their clothes. They shipped me their shirt, and I just didn’t like the clothing brand at all. So I pretty much refuse to post their stuff on my instagram lol, unless they were to pay me for that too. But anyways, Fyona was dropped off at my house, since she had a previous shoot with some photographer. Then we head to Tebo tebo, pretty bad drinks place lol. I haven’t been there in honestly years maybe since senior year of HS? But yeah, Fyona wanted to get an avocado smoothie or something from there. Then we headed to Irvine Spectrum to casually shoot and potentially watch a movie together. We shot a bit, walked around, and got macarons from Honey & Butter. We decided to not watch a movie, since it would have been too late at night, and I had dinner at 7:30 with my cousin Toto. So we went to the Artic to do the clothing brand shoot, and quickly shot since they don’t allow professional photography there anymore lol. It doesn’t really make sense why phone photography is allowed, but ‘professional’ cameras aren’t. Like I could be using an entry level DSLR which is technically not a ‘professional’ camera, and it wouldn’t be allowed. But yeah whatever, idk why they disallowed it. So quickly shot, and then PEACED. Was fun talking to her, listening to music in the car, and then dropped her off at home. Then I headed back home in time for dinner with my cousin. I took her to Kitakata, and we had a big long talk during the wait to eat. Since she was deciding between UC Merced and UCSB... ;-; Her bf does go to uc merced, and she justified it with idk the generic reasons. Going to uc merced would be cheaper, she’s gonna be a Bio major and aiming towards med school, so it technically doesn’t matter what university she goes to, and it’s probably easier to get an A at uc merced for med school blah blah. Uhh, I guess she thinks it’ll be fun, since obv her bf goes there, hypes it up to her, prob knows his friends, and etc. But I went hard on the FACTS and tried to convince her otherwise. Like what if she doesn’t stay a bio major and switch, it’ll be really bad to be grad with a degree from UC Merced etc etc etc. How I can help her get an A, since I know all the classes to take, best professors, etc etc. Blah blah, many reasons. She was fairly convinced and really appreciated the advice. She repeatedly talked about how she feels really loved and is thankful for the advice, and how much she loves me hehe. I appreciate the family love <3 She enjoyed kitakata as well and thinks I’m a foodie. I’m a picky eater lmao, def not a foodie. But I think it’s cute that she thinks I am, despite knowing that I’m a picky eater, since I always show her cool food places. I treated her, then we headed to Rolling Creamery for ice cream dessert. Also since Catherine was working there on Friday night, so I wanted to harass her for fun. She made our ice cream and we skipped the 30 mins wait! While my cousin treated me :) hopefully she’s convinced, she’s going to uc merced this weekend, then ucsb the following weekend. Afterwards, I actually met up with Jia at night!! Dang so many ppl haha. We were going to grab drinks together and decided Tokyo Table (never been) in Diamond Jamboree. But the line for pretty much every store there that Friday night had lines out the door, even 85 degrees bakery/afters/lolicup. There was no way to find parking too, I legit roamed around for 40 mins.... Then Jia suggested we just go to a buffalo wild wings nearby for drinks, and I was like uhh okie then. I been to BWW before in like junior year of hs, but I thought the food was pretty bad LOL. But yeah, it still holds true today lol. We shared an appetizer, and I thought it was pretty bad. But I got a strawberry margarita, while Jia got some beer, then we talked and caught up on the uh idk 2 weeks we haven’t seen each other. Then it was getting late, so we hugged, and went home. We did make plans to maybe vaca in vegas over the summer together haha. TBH, I’ve been making those plans with fking everyone LOL. Kai, Kristy, Jessica, Brent, Bryan, Jia now, Peach, etc... I’m a monster ;-; lol.. I’m just 21 now and it seems fun to go to a bar/club in vegas, go to the buffets, and idk!! Be a degenerate for a weekend haha. Anyways, it was time for bed after that.

Then on Saturday morning, I picked up Cat for lunch, and we went to Omelette house. Since she’s never been there before. I actually kinda like Omelette House, since I normally don’t like omelettes that much... But I really like their omelettes lol. I think Catherine just thought it was whatever, but I think Omelette House is pretty yummy. I treated Catherine, since idk why. We had time to kill, so we went to Irvine Spectrum, and just kinda shot pics for fun since she made me lol... Then she bought some clothes there and then idk we headed back to her place. I think we headed to her place for a bit, and got Tastea thai tea and shared it (she treated me for dis) since my shoot with Jenn was not till 5 and I said hi to mom and grandma haha. The shoot I had with Jenn at 5 was going to be pretty interesting. Since my friend Dana is getting into photography and wanted to tag along for a photoshoot. I normally don’t let ppl, if they’re not gonna like shoot or model with me, since kinda weird just tagging along. But I asked Jenn, if it was okay if Catherine and Dana could tag along. I felt bad asking, since idk I like making good first impressions, and yeah... Catherine wanted to along, since I’m not in the area too often and she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible (her words). Catherine and I watched iron fist at her place, and it’s a pretty good tv show honestly. I don’t think it’s as good as the flash, but it’s pretty good~ Then Jenn came over to my place, since she wanted to carpool. Catherine, Jenn, and I kinda introduced ourselves and talked. We all knew Hope as a mutual friend, and we kinda all met through Hope actually. Jenn prob found my ig from Hope idk. Catherine, I met through a shoot with Hope. Jenn dmed/commented on my ig photo asking to shoot, and I’m glad I said yes. She’s actually really pretty o.o... Anyways, uh went to downtown Huntington Beach, and met up with Dana there. We walked around shooting and Catherine was wearing a cute outfit and demanded I took pics of her too lol... Jenn didn’t mind tho, and the focus was mostly on Jenn still. Dana idk how much she was learning, but she was having fun talking to the models and befriending them. Jenn is actually the most quiet model I’ve worked with. She’s not like super quiet, but just the most quiet model I’ve worked with actually. I guess the models I’ve worked with are generally really talkative and idk. Maybe she’s shy when working with ppl for the first time or because it’s a group idk, since Hope said she’s pretty talkative actually. After the shoot, I was gonna grab dinner with Catherine, and Jenn was down to tag along. Then Dana wanted to tag along, so we all got kitakata. Since uhh Jenn and Dana never tried, Catherine likes the place, and I didn’t care that I just ate at kitakata yesterday night. But yeah... They liked the place, the wait was long like usual for dinner, and talked. Jenn shared how she met her bf actually! So uhh, her bf is not the best looking dude, prob has good personality whatever. But apparently, he made an instagram post asking if any models wanted to shoot, and then she just hit him up, and then they shot together. Then idk how, but I guess they started dating a bit after. I was like o_o... I guess, it gave me a big revelation lol. Maybe it’s time to start hitting on models... But I’ve always been super friendly, professional, never touch models or anything, and yeah... But that does not get me a hot gf by being professional LOL... So maybe, it is time to change my ways. I asked Catherine, if I should, and she was like uhh no theo! You have such a good reputation with your models and most of them end up becoming friends with you. It’s true! I shot with Cindy once, but we still snap and make plans to hang out still, since I was so idk friendly/cool. I’m friends with Hope/Catherine, Chubbybunnies (Ali) is down to hang out still and wants to, and yeah.. ;-; I guess I am a social boi and is good at making pretty friends lol. My friend Chloe and Amandi snapped me again that my friends are so pretty and that they’re shook. BUT having pretty friends does not get me anywhere!! So yeah, maybe time to change my ways, and maybe throw my professionalism and morals out the window.. Since all these other guy photographers are doing it -.-!! Drove Jenn home, hugged Dana good bye after dinner, and then went to Cat’s place to watch Iron Fist for another two episodes almost lol, then went home late-ish. Overall, it was a pretty busy but fun Saturday. I did feel a bit burnt out from that much socializing and talking, since I try to make convo quite a bit, and ask questions to get to know more about people. We all (well for me just Jenn) exchanged phone #s and snapchats and even have a group chat on fb now lol. 

Anyways on Sunday, it was pretty basic. My dad got me lunch, then I headed back to SB, and kinda just chilled/unwinded. I had to go through trouble of uploading a bunch of photos from that weekend lol... So many photos ;-;... Jenn texted me early the next morning asking if I had an estimate of when I’ll send her the pics, since she really liked the pics. I felt flattered haha, and thankfully I already had it finished uploading from last night! So I sent it to her and Cat, both actually asked me that morning when I barely woke up for my 8 am on Monday. Jenn actually ended up posting a bunch of my photos, making it her ig profile pic, fb profile pic, etc and it makes me pretty happy actually. It feels good when a model really likes the photos I take and it feels like I did a good job! So yayyyy :) I feel the love! 

There’s some other random stuff I wanted to talk about tho besides this recap. Just random thoughts that idk reflect about. I guess thinking on a deeper level is pretty good sometimes, since there’s less reflecting to do before sleeping, I get to understand myself/the world slightly better, and yeah. For my cousin, I have a 50% UCSB convince success rate so far haha. Since I convinced Kristy, but failed to convince Stefanie. For Toto, if I successfully convince her, then I’ll have a 66% success rate!! Pretty cool haha. But I would be slightly sad, if she doesn’t end up going to ucsb and choose uc merced over it lol... Probably since I think it’s the wrong choice. For Stefanie, this is prob something that idk I did realize back then, but OBV will never admit to her hehe. But I can’t blame her for choosing USC over UCSB and I actually agree it’s the right choice. It was her dream school, USC is higher rank than UCSB, and it’s dumb to commit the next 4 years of your life for a boy you’re dating/not dating whatever we had at that time. I think it would be dumb for my cousin to attend/move to merced for the next 4 years just for her bf, since objectively UCSB is a better school and a smarter decision for the future. The reason why I was upset with Stefanie in the past though, I don’t necessarily ‘regret’ that or whatever. Idk how to exactly phrase this, but I think my actions back then were kinda understandable in my perspective. In my cousin’s case, if she did chose UCSB over UC Merced, and I was her boyfriend I’d totally understand if he’d at least be slightly upset if not disappointed. The reason with Stefanie is, initially I had 0 hopes of her ever choosing UCSB, and was like ugh if she goes to USC than long distance and I really did not want that at the time. It just felt like, man I’m in my 1st year in college, and as she knows I really want relationships for the long run. So that means potentially years with no end goal of closing the distance and just have a long distance relationship for years. But I guess when I started to convince her about UCSB or tell her about it, she really kinda got my hopes up that hey maybe she’ll go to UCSB. She even made a whole blog post back then, about how she kinda liked the vibe and questioned if going to USC would be a bad choice, blah blah blah. I guess she even jokingly (but idk I thought was srs to me lol...) promise me numerous times that she’ll go to UCSB. In a powerpoint that I made and that she made, we kinda hyped up what it would be like if she did attend UCSB, and I really got invested and wanted it. So when she obviously chose USC over UCSB, which I don’t fault her for. I hurted obviously. Since the dreams of studying together at UCSB, sleepovers all the time, hanging out, eating lunch/dinner together often, and all our other plans seemed like it was gone, and I was sad. I spent hours every night convincing her, she promised me yes numerous times, and it felt like idk it would happen especially after her visit to UCSB where we kissed/etc. So when she SIRed shortly after, I felt kinda led on/cheated/many feelings. When she chose USC over UCSB, it kinda felt like she was rejecting me in a way, even though she wasn’t. Since it’s like, dang :( why doesn’t she want to be with me or how could she say no to all those cool dreams/plans we had together if she did attend. It also felt bad, since I really wanted a close distance relationship with this girl, since I felt like we could go the distance since we were so alike, she seemed really sweet, and etc etc etc. I didn’t want a long distance either, so when she chose to not close the distance, indirectly rejecting me (even if she necessarily wasn’t) or indirectly rejecting the plans we made, and etc. I felt sad and bad!! So yeah, I guess those were my feelings during that time. Idk if I ever got to properly tell those feelings to Stefanie, since it was kinda ‘dark’ times and we get into a mini-argument because of our different perspectives. I felt hurt, she felt like I was obligated to go to prom with her still regardless of whatever, even tho to me she broke her promise/indirectly rejected me/kinda felt led on too/etc, but I can see how she felt wronged as well. But hey, I mean I guess things kinda did work out. We ended up dating for a year, and I just sucked it up and suffered through the distance and tried not to let it bother me. It did kinda hurt me inside sometimes, when she cried when I had to say good bye and head back to school, after spending a weekend with her. Idk if I told her, but I sometimes cried a bit too as I left alone to the elevator, since it felt awful that I was making her sad and there wasn’t much I could do... :( I had school the next day... Sigh. I even considered the dumb intercampus UC transfer thing, that lets me study at any UC for a quarter/semester. I was genuinely considering a quarter at ucla lmao just to close the distance for a quarter, and give her a close distance bf for a quarter. Anyways, enough of the past. I guess my point is, I do realize that choosing USC over UCSB is 100% the right choice. Stefanie once told me, hey you know, you never told me that you were proud of me or congratulated me for going to USC, since idk kinda brushed the USC enrollment thing under the rug for a while after she SIRed. I recall we were in her dorm room and I was sleeping over when she said that. I think that I replied oh. sorry, congratulations haha. Idk I didn’t think I properly congratulated her that well outside of that, but I mean deep down despite the sad boy vibes, I was happy for her. She got into her dream school and is obv happy there. Regardless of how sad I felt at the time, I 100% agree it’s the right choice and was proud that she got in, and glad she did it. I just hope that my cousin would do the same and choose UCSB over UC Merced, since I genuinely think it’s the right decision objectively and she prob kinda knows it too. I understand how it’s a hard decision, even tho objectively it shouldn’t be, since her bf goes to uc merced and hypes it up/etc. I could also totally understand if her bf does get upset that she chooses ucsb over uc merced, even tho he shouldn’t/whatever, since I was kinda in his position. I guess we’ll see what my cousin decides in the future tho, but regardless I’ll try to support her. Another topic I kinda wanted to briefly touch upon, is kinda this idk idolization thing that certain ppl do, that I think is kinda bad actually. Back in HS, when Jia, Bradley, and I were kinda popular-ish on Kawaii Ulzzang Contest for posting selfies and being cute and having random cute ppl add us on fb and try to hit on us lmao. All of us were friends with Tiffany, who is a nice girl honestly. She uhm, I guess is not as attractive whatever, and kinda viewed all 3 of us highly. Like Jia later explained when Tiffany and her kinda just drifted away that Tiffany kinda treated us like idk as if she’s our fan rather than as a friend. Kinda hard to explain how she did, but it’s like pretty obvious. I think it’s bad only since, idk shouldn’t really idolize your friends or make it seem like you’re lower/they’re superior or anything, and it’s definitely bad for self esteem and def she should have more confidence in her self regardless of her level of attractiveness whatever. Like it made us feel weird, since she idk didn’t treat us like equals. She should have just be confident, normal, talked to us like any other friends, and I think we would have idk have a lot more respect for her rather than kinda pity?? Anyways, Dana kinda did the same thing during the photoshoot. She’s like omg Jenn and Cat, you’re so pretty, I wish I was as pretty as you girls, and etc. Then she in a friendly way makes a group chat for us and asked for their #, and then says she kinda wants to try modeling just once, then asked if they could help her. Which is kinda sounds fine when I write it, but like the way she says it, even Cat kinda addressed it. It just made it feel like she’s a fan girl or something, they’re like great, and it makes it feel like she kinda wants to use them to help her like a social climber or idk. She’s like making a new ig and kinda wants to try to be a popular blogger or whatever, and Catherine especially has quite a # of followers. I guess this is really hard to put into words, but I kinda disliked that. I think Dana is a nice person, but it’s just kinda weird when ppl kinda start idolizing/putting their friends as like superior and feels weird asking for favors already when you barely met ppl like help with modeling/getting Hope to shoot her/etc. Like idk, that’s just me. But I think it does teach me a lesson to kinda just treat everyone equally, like I’m sure that’s how some ppl want to be treated. Like popular super star rappers prob just want their friends to treat them all the same as a normal person rather than like a fan boy or something. Since, then idk it just makes the relationship dynamic awkward. I guess learning from Tiffany and Dana, I won’t be doing the same if I ever try to befriend someone that’s a super star. Definitely do not want to seem like I’m using them. Like many photographers and myself included dislikes when photographers that we barely know/not even friends ask us to introduce them to our x model friend. Since 1, we barely know you to refer you to our models, since if you’re crazy it makes us look bad. I hate it when they hit up models and goes oh I know Theo! or some shit, like it makes it seem like I referred them/am a reference, but I am not. Also it feels like they’re just using you too. So yeah, idk random thoughts about things rn~ Something similar to this is, I learned to not really make self deprecating jokes/etc too often, since actually it kinda unconsciously lowers your ‘worth’ a bit to ppl. Like my friend Calvin kinda does it too overboard and I noticed that when I meet ppl that do it too often too, it kinda does the opposite of making them seem like confident to talk about their flaws. I guess when you constantly talk about how lazy/ugly/fat/how you don’t do anything/blah blah blah bad points, it makes ppl unconsciously or consciously whatever not view you as highly. When I guess the intentions are to seem funny and that they don’t take themselves to seriously and can admit their flaws or whatever. But yeah, idk I just don’t do it anymore, and maybe I’ll do it occasionally if other ppl are to join in on the joke for fun. But otherwise, I think ppl generally like ppl who are confident individuals that knows what they want, but aren’t too entitled. I think being confident is fine, but being entitled is bad~

Anyways enough for this long blog post, hand hurts, but it feels good getting all my thoughts out and recapping my weekend. This weekend might be slightly more boring, but this weeks been good so far. Had a nice dinner just now with Bryan, Kristy, and Jessica. Got groceries with Chloe and late night smash + dinner with Brent on Monday night. Feeling good rn, and gonna try to sleep well :)

[readbookywooks]

'I thought so.' Cutwell patted her ineptly on the hand, and Keli was too preoccupied even to notice such flagrant lesè majesté. 'You see, everything's fixed. History is all worked out, from start to finish. What the facts actually are is beside the point; history just rolls straight over the top of them. You can't change anything because the changes are already part of it. You're dead. It's fated. You'll just have to accept it.' He gave an apologetic grin. 'You're a lot luckier than most dead people, if you look at it objectively,' he said. 'You're alive to enjoy it.' 'I don't want to accept it. Why should I accept it? It's not my fault!' 'You don't understand. History is moving on. You can't get involved in it any more. There isn't a part in it for you, don't you see? Best to let things take their course.' He patted her hand again. She looked at him. He withdrew his hand. 'What am I supposed to do then?' she said. 'Not eat, because the food wasn't destined to be eaten by me? Go and live in a crypt somewhere?' 'Bit of a poser, isn't it?' agreed Cutwell. 'That's fate for you, I'm afraid. If the world can't sense you, you don't exist. I'm a wizard. We know —' 'Don't say it.' Keli stood up. Five generations ago one of her ancestor had halted his band of nomadic cutthroats a few miles from the mound of Sto Lat and had regarded the sleeping city with a peculiarly determined expression that said: This'll do. Just because you're born in the saddle doesn't mean you have to die in the bloody thing. Strangely enough, many of his distinctive features had, by a trick of heredity, been bequeathed to his descendant[3], accounting for her rather idiosyncratic attractiveness. They were never more apparent than now. Even Cutwell was impressed. When it came to determination, you could have cracked rocks on her jaw. In exactly the same tone of voice that her ancestor had used when he addressed his weary, sweaty followers before the attack[4], she said: 'No. No, I'm not going to accept it. I'm not going to dwindle into some sort of ghost. You're going to help me, wizard.' Cutwell's subconscious recognised that tone. It had harmonics in it that made even the woodworm in the floorboards stop what they were doing and stand to attention. It wasn't voicing an opinion, it was saying: things will be thus. 'Me, madam?' he quavered, 'I don't see what I can possibly—' He was jerked off his chair and out into the street, his robes billowing around him. Keli marched towards the palace with her shoulders set determinedly, dragging the wizard behind her like a reluctant puppy. It was with such a walk that mothers used to bear down on the local school when their little boy came home with a black eye; it was unstoppable; it was like the March of Time. 'What is it you intend?' Cutwell stuttered, horribly aware that there was going to be nothing he could do to resist, whatever it was. 'It's your lucky day, wizard.' 'Oh. Good,' he said weakly. 'You've just been appointed Royal Recogniser.' 'Oh. What does that entail, exactly?' 'You're going to remind everyone I'm alive. It's very simple. There's three square meals a day and your laundry done. Step lively, man.' 'Royal?' 'You're a wizard. I think there's something you ought to know,' said the princess. THERE is? said Death. (That was a cinematic trick adapted for print. Death wasn't talking to the princess. He was actually in his study, talking to Mort. But it was quite effective, wasn't it? It's probably called a fast dissolve, or a crosscut/zoom. Or something. An industry where a senior technician is called a Best Boy might call it anything.) AND WHAT IS THAT? he added, winding a bit of black silk around the wicked hook in a little vice he'd clamped to his desk. Mort hesitated. Mostly this was because of fear and embarrassment, but it was also because the sight of a hooded spectre peacefully tying dry flies was enough to make anyone pause. Besides, Ysabell was sitting on the other side of the room, ostensibly doing some needlework but also watching him through a cloud of sullen disapproval. He could feel her red-rimmed eyes boring into the back of his neck. Death inserted a few crow hackles and whistled a busy little tune through his teeth, not having anything else to whistle through. He looked up. HMM? They – didn't go as smoothly as I thought,' said Mort, standing nervously on the carpet in front of the desk. You HAD TROUBLE? said Death, snipping off a few scraps of feather. 'Well, you see, the witch wouldn't come away, and the monk, well, he started out all over again.' THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THERE, LAD — '— Mort —' — YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED OUT BY NOW THAT EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY THINK IS COMING TO THEM. IT'S SO MUCH NEATER THAT WAY. 'I know, sir. But that means bad people who think they're going to some sort of paradise actually do get there. And good people who fear they're going to some kind of horrible place really suffer. It doesn't seem like justice.' WHAT is IT I'VE SAID YOU MUST REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON THE DUTY? 'Well, you —' HMM? Mort stuttered into silence. THERE'S NO JUSTICE. THERE'S JUST YOU. 'Well, I —' YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT. 'Yes, but —' I EXPECT IT ALL WORKS OUT PROPERLY IN THE END. I HAVE NEVER MET THE CREATOR, BUT I'M TOLD HE'S QUITE KINDLY DISPOSED TO PEOPLE. Death snapped the thread and started to unwind the vice. PUT SUCH THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR MIND, he added. AT LEAST THE THIRD ONE SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN YOU ANY TROUBLE. This was the moment. Mort had thought about it for a long tune. There was no sense in concealing it. He'd upset the whole future course of history. Such things tend to draw themselves to people's attention. Best to get it off his chest. Own up like a man. Take his medicine. Cards on table. Beating about bush, none of. Mercy, throw himself on. The piercing blue eyes glittered at him. He looked back like a nocturnal rabbit trying to outstare the headlights of a sixteen-wheeled artic whose driver is a twelve-hour caffeine freak outrunning the tachometers of hell. He failed. 'No, sir,'he said. GOOD. WELL DONE. Now THEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? Anglers reckon that a good dry fly should cunningly mimic the real thing. There are the right flies for morning. There are different flies for the evening rise. And so on. But the thing between Death's triumphant digits was a fly from the dawn of time. It was the fly in the primordial soup. It had bred on mammoth turds. It wasn't a fly that bangs on window panes, it was a fly that drills through walls. It was an insect that would crawl out from between the slats of the heaviest swat dripping venom and seeking revenge. Strange wings and dangling bits stuck out all over it. It seemed to have a lot of teeth. 'What's it called?' said Mort. I SHALL CALL IT – DEATH'S GLORY. Death gave the thing a final admiring glance and stuck it into the hood of his robe. I FEEL INCLINED TO SEE A LITTLE BIT OF LIFE THIS EVENING, he Said. YOU CAN TAKE THE DUTY, NOWTHATYOU'VEGOTTHEHANGOFIT.AS IT WERE. 'Yes. Sir,' said Mort, mournfully. He saw his life stretching out in front of him like a nasty black tunnel with no light at the end of it. Death drummed his finger on the desk, muttered to himself. AH YES, he said. ALBERT TELLS ME SOMEONE'S BEEN MEDDLING IN THE LIBRARY. 'Pardon, sir?' TAKING BOOKS our, LEAVING THEM LYING AROUND. BOOKS ABOUT YOUNG WOMEN. HE SEEMS TO THINK IT IS AMUSING. As has already been revealed, the Holy Listeners have such well developed hearing that they can be deafened by a good sunset. Just for a few seconds it seemed to Mort that the skin on the back of his neck was developing similar strange powers, because he could see Ysabell freeze in mid-stitch. He also heard the little intake of breath that he'd heard before, among the shelves. He remembered the lace handkerchief. He said, 'Yes, sir. It won't happen again, sir.' The skin on the back of his neck started to itch like fury. SPLENDID. Now, YOU TWO CAN RUN ALONG. GET ALBERT TO DO YOU A PICNIC LUNCH OR SOMETHING. GET SOME FRESH AIR. I'VE NOTICED THE WAY YOU TWO ALWAYS AVOID EACH OTHER. He gave Mort a conspiratorial nudge – it was like being poked with a stick – and added, ALBERT'S TOLD ME WHAT THAT MEANS. 'Has he?' said Mort gloomily. He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. Death gave him another of his supernova winks. Mort didn't return it. Instead he turned and plodded towards the door, at a general speed and gait that made Great A'Tuin look like a spring lamb. He was halfway along the corridor before he heard the soft rush of footsteps behind him and a hand caught his arm. 'Mort?' He turned and gazed at Ysabell through a fog of depression. 'Why did you let him think it was you in the library?' 'Don't know.' 'It was . . . very . . . kind of you,' she said cautiously. 'Was it? I can't think what came over me.' He felt in his pocket and produced the handkerchief. This belongs to you, I think.' 'Thank you.' She blew her nose noisily. Mort was already well down the corridor, his shoulders hunched like vulture's wings. She ran after him. 'I say,' she said. 'What?' 'I wanted to say thank you.' 'It doesn't matter,' he muttered. 'It'd just be best if you don't take books away again. It upsets them, or something.' He gave what he considered to be a mirthless laugh. 'Ha!' 'Ha what?' 'Just ha!' He'd reached the end of the corridor. There was the door into the kitchen, where Albert would be leering knowingly, and Mort decided he couldn't face that. He stopped. 'But I only took the books for a bit of company,' she said behind him. He gave in. 'We could have a walk in the garden,' he said in despair, and then managed to harden his heart a little and added, 'Without obligation, that is.' 'You mean you're not going to marry me?' she said. Mort was horrified. 'Marry?' 'Isn't that what father brought you here for?' she said. 'He doesn't need an apprentice, after all.' 'You mean all those nudges and winks and little comments about some day my son all this will be yours?' said Mort. 'I tried to ignore them. I don't want to get married to anyone yet,' he added, suppressing a fleeting mental picture of the princess. 'And certainly not to you, no offence meant.' 'I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on the Disc,' she said sweetly. Mort was hurt by this. It was one thing not to want to marry someone, but quite another to be told they didn't want to marry you. 'At least I don't look like I've been eating doughnuts in a wardrobe for years,' he said, as they stepped out on to Death's black lawn. 'At least I walk as if my legs only had one knee each,' she said. 'My eyes aren't two juugly poached eggs.' Ysabell nodded. 'On the other hand, my ears don't look like something growing on a dead tree. What does juugly mean?' 'You know, eggs like Albert does them.' 'With the white all sticky and runny and full of slimy bits?' 'Yes.' 'A good word,' she conceded thoughtfully. 'But my hair, I put it to you, doesn't look like something you clean a privy with.' 'Certainly, but neither does mine look like a wet hedgehog.' 'Pray note that my chest does not appear to be a toast rack in a wet paper bag.' Mort glanced sideways at the top of Ysabell's dress, which contained enough puppy fat for two litters of Rotweilers, and forbore to comment. 'My eyebrows don't look like a pair of mating caterpillars,' he hazarded.