#and yes I’ve seen a lot of people saying this
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My bad experience is not a monolith - you just don’t check on the people who drop out of the scene quietly on the sidelines.
>And OP, I haven't had any of these issues with the community and I'm pretty active. I've very rarely seen people say that they can't talk about their abuse in the BDSM community, but againz I'm sorry you had a shitty experience.
Yes - of course no one is going to say “don’t speak up about abuse!” They just quietly kick you from group chats when you point out that “[person who donated $200 to the dungeon] is a dangerous predator.”
Keep in mind that most of the time, in feminist critique (and fuck, critique about class, race etc) - there is not a literal “Patriarch.” These rules are not written out explicitly - they’re just enforced. No one says women can’t be physicists - they just are made so unwelcome in physics classes that no woman can make it through.
Likewise, there is a lot of talk about consent online, but in reality - substance use is a matter of course. Not to mention the way that endorphins expressed in intense pain play also can have effects on mental state.
I talk in a way focused on pain play because that way my main experience. That also seemed the desired experience of most - I did participate in some fire play, bondage, and other forms of sensory play. There were also substantial elements of lifestyle D/s, some both explicitly negotiated and some coerced.
My experiences aren’t a monolith, but I’ve talked to others. I read the research. I participate in the research.
Kink prioritizes the needs of the doms by design. This is explicit in the *design* of things like Fetlife, which will always prioritize the needs of creepy old men to leer at and spam teenage girls in their area over the safety of anyone else. After all, we can’t even ban literal sex murderers lest anyone’s free speech be impugned upon.
Kink is stigmatized in mainstream society - which means you *can’t speak up about it* too. Kink spaces have such a focus on legally protecting doms that there is no consideration of the safety of subs. Kink cries about how it’s about the needs and desires of subs, in an attempt to keep the ever present “topping from the bottom” conversation from the eyes of outsiders.
There should be a consideration of the fact that in all therapeutic spaces I’ve talked about my experiences as a submissive in - the only answer I’ve received is that I need a better dom. I *want* to improve myself as a person, to see my own desires as worth pursuing - but kink positivity as turned this into a cult that I can’t escape.
I’m not bothered by weird sex. I’m not a puritan. The problem is that kink communities are havens for dangerous actors, who seem to have a bunch of flying monkeys at their disposal to leap to the defense of shit like 19 year olds letting middle aged men attack their tits with staple guns. Kink recreates patriarchal/misogynistic/age power structures, just with the concession that some can hypothetically cross the line (but the usual male sub/female domme experience is perhaps the one place where “subs hold all the power!” Is true)
old school leather communities at least had something of apprenticeship/training. one had to experience both sides of the heel. perhaps if the heterosexual but spicy/wanting to be special community had leaned more into *Tom of Finland* than *50 Shades* things might be a little different
it’s funny how kinksters want me to stay quiet about my abuse
my “dom” used to do “no speaking unless spoken to” lol. I’m not shutting up anymore. I’m taking back my power.
I will continue to call out a community that protects abusers. I will continue to call out a community that exploits LGBT people, especially younger transgender people.
The kink “community” is not a community. It is a place to connect predators to prey. If there cannot be frank and honest conversations about abuse and exploitation in kink, then it is not a safe community. It is a community that prioritizes the pleasures of one group over the physical and mental safety of another. It is a community that cannot criticize or police itself - to some folks, kinks appears to serve as some sort of religion.
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ExWidow Russian Girlfriend Problems?
One-Shot - 1775 Words Natasha/GNreader - Yelena/Kate Fluff inspired by the classic -’do you like me=we are married’- incorrect quotes
It was a quiet night at the complex, a rare moment when almost everyone had left to be with their families for the long weekend. It was Natasha's turn to hold down the fort, which, of course, meant that you both remained behind. Across the room, she was immersed in a game of pool with Yelena, her laughter and competitive spirit lighting up the space, while you lounged on the couch, lost in the details of the most recent mission reports. Meanwhile, Kate and America had finally abandoned their barstools after what felt like endless attempts to perfect their knife and glass balancing trick. You were thankful, really—the persistent clatter of knives hitting the table had started to wear on your nerves.
“Goodnight, everyone!” America called out, waving as she made her way to the elevator. You all paused to acknowledge her departure, and before diving back into your tablet, you glanced at Natasha. She caught your gaze, then winked and blew you a playful kiss. With a small smile, you mimed catching it and tucking it away in your pocket.
“Wow, that might be the cheesiest thing I've ever seen,” Kate exclaimed as she claimed a spot on the couch beside you.
“If it is, you really need to watch more movies,” you quipped, before diving back into your work. As Kate got comfortable, you noticed her eyes fixed intently on the pool match unfolding across the room. After a few moments, you set the tablet aside and turned your gaze to her.
“What’s on your mind, Bishop?”
“Oh, me? Uh, yeah, nothing, just, you know, chillin’.”
“Look, I know we haven't known each other long, but I’d like to remind you I’m not THAT much older than you,” you said playfully, smirking. “We can still be friends, even if I have to be a little bossy during training and all that.”
“Right, yeah. It’s just that I’m still getting used to being on a team with the people I used to admire on TV,” she admitted, a sheepish look crossing her face.
“Trust me; we have the same everyday problems that anyone else does. So if you’ve got something on your mind, feel free to share—like maybe now, since you’re obviously dwelling on something.”
“Okay, okay,” she sighed, swirling the last of her drink in contemplation. “I was just thinking… you two have been together for, like, a long while, right?”
“I think most people would say so, yes,” you chuckled, adjusting your position to face her more fully. “So, it’s an Ex-Widow Russian Girlfriend kinda dilemma?”
“What? No! I mean, Yelena isn’t my… ah, we aren’t… is it that obvious?”
You couldn't suppress a laugh, shaking your head. “If I had to use one word, Kate, it would be—painfully.” You watched as the blush in her face began to dim. “I know things were a bit rocky at the start, but honestly, we’ve just been waiting for you to tell us for a couple months now.”
“Oh,” she paused, taking a sip of her drink, her gaze fixated on Yelena before returning to you. She shifted closer on the couch, her voice dropping to a softer beat. “Okay, so it’s like… ugh, yes, we’re dating, right? But are we? I asked her, and she said yes, so we did that, but then we kept hanging out, and it feels like dates, but we don’t actually say it, and she’s, like, really closed off but also super flirty, depending on who’s around. I just don’t know if it’s real or just… ugh, I don’t even know!”
“Mmmm, well that sounds about right. Look, I’ve only known Yelena for a couple of years longer than you, and that’s just her vibe. But I get what you’re saying. I don’t know much about your childhood, Kate, but I think we can both agree that theirs is a whole other story, and obviously, all that comes with a lot of trauma. None of us here are free of that burden, but for them, it runs deeper. Generally speaking, that history means they aren’t used to being loved or allowing those feelings, so it can take time to break through. And our line of work doesn’t help. We are painfully aware every day of how caring for someone can lead to hurt—for both you and them. So, gradually breaking down your walls to embrace love? It’s a heck of a challenge. It took me ages to figure out how to navigate my own way through.”
Kate nodded, her understanding evident in the glint of her eyes as she absorbed your words.
“You know, it still feels so bizarre to have people seeking my dating advice. I never saw myself as that person,” you admitted.
“But you two are just so perfect together; you mesh like seamlessly,” she observed, a hint of envy lacing her tone.
“That’s sweet, but it didn’t always look like this, you know. Just like everyone else, we have our struggles. We knew each other for years before we finally got our act together. We’re certainly not perfect; we’ve had our share of ups and downs, disagreements, mess-ups, and fights. But we chose to work through them. I do get that they come off as intimidating—not sure if it’s a Russian, assassin, or spy thing, but yeah, they can be a little abrasive at times, I won’t deny that.”
You both shared a warm smile, a mutual understanding passing between you.
“Sometimes, the people who seem the most indifferent are actually the ones who care the most. It’s just their wall protecting them because they’re unsure if it’s safe to open up and allow themselves to care. Each person has their own way of navigating that. But there’s one thing I can definitely tell you specifically about those two,” you added, eyebrows raised in intrigue.
“I’ll take any insight I can get,” she said quietly, leaning in.
“They don't put on an act when they don’t have to. Unless it’s for a mission, they aren't the type to hang around to fulfill social expectations. Yelena wouldn’t spend time with you if she didn’t genuinely want to, trust me. She wouldn’t bother to invest the effort if she didn’t care.”
“I just wish she would talk to me more,” Kate lamented, her voice tinged with frustration. “Like, just tell me that.”
“Yeah, that can definitely take time, but they’re pretty direct when it matters. If you haven’t noticed, those two are not shy about telling it like it is. So… you could always just ask her.”
A loud burst of energy erupted from the pool table, and you turned to see Natasha reveling in her victory while Yelena sulked in defeat. You stood, turning back to Kate before heading over.
“Maybe you should start by just telling her how you feel and that you just want to know how she does,” you suggested nonchalantly. “Sometimes you just have to embrace the cheese.” She nodded, a shy smile crossing her lips as she joined you in moving toward the pool table.
“Hey, Natasha, quick question for you,” you called out, approaching the duo. She turned, an eyebrow cocked in curiosity. “I was just wondering—do you like me?” you asked, a teasing grin spreading on your face.
“I asked you to marry me,” she replied, rolling her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips.
“Yeah, but was that like a friend thing or a love thing?”
“You’re ridiculous,” she replied, laughter bubbling beneath her teasing tone as she shook her head.
Stepping closer into her space, you wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing your face an inch from hers. “And you secretly love it.”
“Not so secret,” she murmured, lips brushing against yours before you both melted into a gentle kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck while yours slid up her back, leaning into each other for a moment until Yelena’s voice broke through.
“Ugh, get a room!” she groaned.
You both smiled into the kiss and then pulled away just enough to meet her gaze. “But it’s so much more fun to annoy you,” you quipped.
You heard Kate let out a laugh from behind you as Yelena dramatically rolled her eyes.
Natasha slid her arms down to turn around, her back resting against your front. She laid her head onto your shoulder, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. “That’s a really good idea though,” she noted, her eyes glimmering with a mix of mischief and affection.
“So it is,” you replied, playfully giving her a gentle nudge toward the hallway. You locked hands, and Natasha quickly hip-checked Yelena as you walked by.
“You two are so gross,” Yelena complained, covering her face with her hand in mock disgust.
“Just fulfilling your request, sestra,” Natasha shot back with a wink as you reached the elevator hallway, waving goodbye. “Goodnight, ladies!”
As you waited momentarily in front of the elevator, you tuned in, listening intently. For the average person, voices would have to be raised to be heard from here, but your enhanced abilities allowed you to pick up their words with clarity.
“You have to admit, they’re pretty cute.”
“That’s my sister, Kate.”
“Yeah, but they’re usually so serious and business-like, you know? It’s refreshing to see them happy and just like real—kinda proof that you can juggle both lives.”
Good luck, kid, you thought, as the elevator door opens,
“They talking about us?”
“Oh yeah… Kate thinks we are cute and thus Yelena is a little miffed”
“Well that sounds about right”
You enter the elevator and lean against the wall, Natasha beside you, hands still entwined.
“Please tell me your sister knows how absolutely head over combat boots that woman is for her?”
“I wish I could say yes, but I feel like she may still be mostly oblivious. I still can’t get her to really admit her own feelings—stubborn as a mule.”
“Well, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me… It runs in the family after all.”
“I was the one who kissed you first, remember?”
“Oh, I do.” As the elevator doors slid open, you stepped away, your hand slipping out of hers as you walked backward, your grin playful. “But kissing isn’t quite the same as feelings,” you teased, turning to walk down the hallway.
“I’m pretty sure I can make you feel some things with my kisses,” she chimed from behind you.
She quickly caught up, wrapping her arms around your waist and placing tender kisses along your neck as you opened the door. With a gentle shove, she pushed you inside, laughter following as the door clicked shut behind you.
My works Now on A03! https://archiveofourown.org/works/63244339
#fanfic#queer#fan fiction#a03 fic#natasha x reader#slash fanfiction#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x reader#kate x yelena#yelena belova x kate bishop#black widow x reader#black widow
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Let’s talk typecasting!
I began to do a full watch of Kathryn Hahn’s Filmography a few months back, as I went on I decided to start taking some notes on the typecastings I often saw, it’s been interesting actually, basically I’ve looked at sexuality, religion and parent-status. The list isn’t done yet so I won’t go too far into it
BUT
I’ve also been watching a decent chunk of Aubrey Plaza’s filmography when I realised how little of it I had seen.
So Kathryn is 51, Aubrey is 40 - yes there is a chunk of age difference between them but they are close to the same ‘playing age’ for a lot of things. They have done a similar amount of projects - IMDB has Aubrey in 98 and Kathryn in 85 but there are a bunch of credits which are for shorts that aren’t easy to find anymore for Aubrey.
Now I haven’t finished either of their Filmographies yet but I have watched a decent chunk of both and I’ve looked through them enough to be pretty sure I won’t find many more Mum roles for Aubrey in what I haven’t seen.
I don’t count voice work for this because it doesn’t really affect how an actress appears. I can absolutely see that Kathryn has the ‘Mum’ look though.
I have seen Aubrey play a Mum 6 times - two of which she is playing biologically female but is the ‘father.’
Kathryn has played a Mum 34 times..! Pretty sure Aubrey has also never played a visibly pregnant character and has only been pregnant on screen for one role.
It’s amazing to see how much this attests to their individual image both in terms of style and in terms of build - and no I don’t mean weight, I mean that Kathryn is just curvier generally. But it also probably has a lot to say about their early work and the things that created their image as an actor.
Also, just before people say it, Yes for Crossing Jordan Kathryn’s pregnancy was written in to the role but this is the only time that has happened. She was also actually pregnant during the filming of How Do You Know but she would most likely have been cast in the role of the pregnant character before she fell pregnant with Mae, or at least the role was written as a pregnant character without the pregnant actress attachment.
#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#typecasting#Kathryn Hahn filmography#Aubrey plaza filmography#crossing jordan#how do you know#Agatha all along#Mrs fletcher#black bear#dirty grandpa#parks and rec#mom typecast#typecast#image#actress#mother hahn#mother hag
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Sorry for breaking it to you but Newt is not your “little innocent baby”, he can basically break your arm with three of his fingers
#yes even if you imagine him as Thomas Brodie Sangster#he is not innocent guys#quite the opposite#yeah he’s a teenager but he’s obviously not a little baby#and yes I’ve seen a lot of people saying this#Im not complaining of this people who says “my baby”#just the people who thinks he’s actually innocent#I have to clarify a lot bc I don’t wanna get canceled lol#tmr#the maze runner#tmr newt#newt#newtmas#the death cure#the scorch trials#maze runner#maze runner fandom
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(x)
(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)
#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz#no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird#like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE#showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops#to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like#also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer#but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon#like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol#but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this#HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS#juliette lewis#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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I hate when I see a post that maybe has helpful information, but it’s so full of guilt tripping, calling people who don’t know the information stupid, and calling people who haven’t been talking about that particular problem stupid, that I don’t feel comfortable sharing it.
#sharing information on what to do about the environment? GOOD. yes. please do that#implying the website full of people who spent yesterday begging each other not to commit suicide is selfish and hates the earth? fuck you#obviously I’m not gonna say this on the actual post and if you know what post I’m vagueing don’t fucking talk to them about it#the op of that post doesn’t need my grumpiness#but just like. Idk a lot of people were busy worrying about immediate survival yesterday#like ‘live through the next 48 hours’ level immediate#today is when I’ve seen more informational stuff going around on surviving the next 2-4 years#so acting like people are too selfish to care about the planet when they haven’t talked about climate change (yet) is just baffling to me#like. sorry I didn’t bring up stuff I was too busy worrying I was gonna lose some friends to a permanent sleep#and like. trying to keep myself from spiraling down similar paths#so I didn’t have the brain capacity to go ‘wow. I need to come up with concrete actions to help the environment’#and I definitely didn’t have the capacity to go ‘wow I need to write about my thoughts on climate change in a coherent tumblr post’#I had the capacity for 1) keeping myself too busy to think about death and 2) keeping a couple other people too busy to think about death#and I succeeded! at least for now. and that’s something
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obx spoilers ahead!!
I'm so conflicted about the season 4 ending because on one hand I get it. life is unfair, it's unrealistic to give all of your characters happy endings, especially if said characters are constantly putting themselves in danger. it makes sense that not everyone survives four seasons of near-death experiences like being held hostage, getting shot at, almost drowning etc. on the other hand I can't help but be bitter that the person who had been abused/mistreated their entire life and who was clearly suffering was the one who had to die. at the hands of his biological father, may I add. I’ve seen some people say JJ was annoying this season and I get where they’re coming from, but all of his impulsive decisions and everything that happened at/after the town meeting just made me sad. he was struggling so much that he didn’t care what happened to him or if he lived or died. all he wanted was a future where he could live with his friends in their own little paradise without a care in the world. with the money from the crown and shoupe’s promise, it seemed like he was so close to happiness and inner peace, but they didn’t let him have that. so yeah, I get why they did this, but that doesn’t make it less upsetting.
#yeah I know it’s not that deep and it’s fictional#I just wanted to put my two cents in ig#I know they all had issues with their parents#not one good parental figure in sight (except pope’s parents tbh)#but jj’s story hit me the hardest#I’ve seen some people say that he was suicidal in s4#and I remember thinking multiple times throughout the season that he was depressed or at least extemely sad/hurt by. well. everything#so that’s what I mean when I say he was struggling (did this even need explaining idk)#there's also something to be said about the “realism” of this show lmao#rafe holding that giant cross by himself? sarah resurrecting after a fatal shot wound? sarah and jj not drowning in that storm?#those are just a couple of examples of how unrealistic this show is#yes it's entertaining but I think we can all agree that a lot of the shit that happened on the show would never work out irl lmao#so I feel like if your show is that unrealistic you can actually afford to give everyone a happy ending#also I just think that it would’ve been nice for abuse survivors/people with mental health problems to see that life can get better#but that’s a whole other tangent#also do not get me started on the fact that rafe was the one to bury him#obx spoilers#outer banks spoilers#outer banks season 4#obx#outer banks#jj maybank#john b routledge#sarah cameron#kiara carrera#pope heyward#cleo anderson#abuse mention#laura yaps#I wrote this at night pls excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes I’m tired
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honestly the biggest Competing Access Needs issue that I personally have run into in online spaces is this:
people need, deserve, and should have space to complain and critique. that includes critiquing things that I (and they!) care about and find valuable, in order to make them better. those conversations are often necessary and healthy, and they should be allowed to happen.
however, I find those kinds of conversations incredibly stressful, often outright upsetting. especially when it involves people I like/respect arguing with or criticizing other people I like/respect. my instinct is to try to mediate and smooth things over and acknowledge the points of both sides, but often that’s either not my place to do or would be actively unhelpful. so I just end up torn in the middle of what feels to me like a barrage of negativity, filled with the unhelpful desire to be like “can’t we just all get along????”
the only and best solution to this is for me to just remove myself from conversations like these, and I’ve gotten better at that, but. It’s still difficult for me to deal with, even though I know that despite my hangups, it’s sometimes better for those conversations to happen than not.
#stars rambles#yes this is partly about convos that have happened on discord but I want ppl to know that I’m not @ing anyone specific about this#like i don’t think anyone’s in the wrong here#even though I would like to avoid any semblance of conflict. I know that would be bad for other people#but I did want to say this because I feel like. idk. in the moment the best thing I can do is shut up and walk away#so I wanted to express this outside of that very charged context#it’s not just about discord to be clear#sometimes it’s about things I see on Tumblr (or complaints on Tumblr that have been exported from discord)#sometimes it’s about irl organizations that I’ve been a part of where I’m like#I love this space deeply#and I know it has flaws and that there should be room for critique#but I want to defend what I love about it#this is definitely an area for personal growth for me too#but it’s not gonna go away overnight#and i've also seen it come up with other people in ways that just aren't avoidable#sometimes you love something and want to talk about how you love it#and someone else is annoyed by it and wants to talk about that#and there's no easy way for both of those conversations to happen in a way that doesn't hurt someone#and i don't feel like that kind of competing need is one that i see brought up a lot#anyway#vent#drafted this and left it to sit and now i am queuing it for the future so it will not seem associated with any one conversation#because it's not really about one thing#q2q
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I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.
For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.
#ravenpuff rambles#I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times#several of whom are still in my life now#but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place#I don’t know how to explain it#I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit#and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me#maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind#never had someone quite get that before#and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart#admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming#and so maybe that helps#but it’s like#Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘#‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’#It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word#anyways#I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me#and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream#no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay#its nothing and everything like I always thought of#and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness#yes I wish I could see them in person#but I can be okay with everything I do get
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if i say i’ve watched a movie i’m probably lying
#like i feel like i’ve watched so many movies but someone will be talking about something n i’ve got no clue#like i just say yes a lot of the n get away with it or people just assume i’ve watched it#like i rmbr going through school pretending i’d seen hsm n people believed because i knew one song (the baseball one) bc one of the girls#taught me at soccer training one day#also not a movie (maybe a movie i jus now know there was a tv show) i only found out who btr were when that boyfriend song was everywhere#🧌
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“Who’s your new friend?” (Salesman x reader)
Summary: Your dad’s dark stranger is the one for you. Too bad about his cruel streak….
Contains: sit down chicas this is a LONG one, plot but gratuitous p+rn, dads!friend au, rough sex, edging, pussy spanking, he’s mean :( , choking, drugging, everything IS consensual bc I’m tired of everyone writing him as a domestic terrorlzing rapist, he’s still psychotic and unhinged tho, just not psychosexual because psychotic traits don’t always translate to sexual violence, your dad is sweet but trusting and naive, squirting, pussyspanking unprotected sex (don’t be a dummy, wrap your gummy) begging, degradation, praise, cursing, reader is a bit of a bitch, light dom/sub dynamics, his cock is stuuuupid fat bc I said so and have eyeballs, ur 22 in this period and he’ll spit in your mouth in the next installment of this series :)
A/N: Yeah, he got me y’all😔 Gong Yoo sexy, fine, tall, handsome ass got me😞I’ve been tripping out for 17 days straight over this man sooo…
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_ ➵ ✩ ◛ ° . +
You knew your dad often had strange friends but this one takes the cake.
Raising a skeptical eyebrow at the tall man your father was currently introducing you to. Standing over 6 feet in a pitch black suit he was extremely easy on the eyes with full lips, perfectly styled hair, relaxed posture and not a wrinkle in sight paired with the darkest almond eyes you’d ever seen. You rove your eyes over him once more before looking back up to find him staring back at you…
Yes, he was perfectly lovely but was it too soon to assume something about him was..off?
You feel your face warm at how strong his gaze is but you stare back defiantly, mentally cursing your too trusting dad.
“…and since we chat almost everyday during our commute to work- would you guess that we’re both in sales and marketing?- I thought it’d be great to invite him over and talk more in a more comfortable setting!” Your dad says excitedly, smiling as he tells you all about his new friend. The man smiles alongside him, cheeks faintly dimpling and despite your distrust, you can’t take your eyes off of him as you feel your heart beat harder in its cage.
“I was going to call to tell you I was bringing company but you know I forget to use that thing.” ‘That thing’ being a modern phone to a man who was awful with tech. You scoff but nod to let him know you don’t mind (completely) and because you already know how your father is and he continues,
“Oh right! Speaking of forgetting, I don’t remember if I ever mentioned my daughter even though I know I probably did-“, you listen to your dad introduce you and the man smiles even wider as he steps forward, offering his hand to yours in a shake.
“How pleasant to meet you.” Holy shit. His voice is a lot deeper than you expected and you absentmindedly place your hand into his waiting one. The way it completely encases your hand due to its sheer size makes your heart stop before it melts down to a warm pool in your lower stomach, settling in your core like hot tea as you breathe out a shaky exhale. His hand is also rougher than you thought it’d be for a simple businessman as it squeezes yours and a quick flash image of that same hand around your throat has you snatching your hand back as you shoot him a tight smile.
“Right. Back at ya. Um, how old are you again?”
“Ah. Isn’t that improper to ask new people?”
“I’m just curious to how you maintain a career as developed as my dads because you seem so young.”
Oh. You’re quick witted; that makes things a potential hassle for him.
“Well, I’m much older than you. I’m certainly older than your father.”
“Ha! Are you also the Emperor of China-”, You’re cut off as your dad says your name in the way he does when you’re being rude but you ignore it, glaring at the man.
“Be polite! He’s older so you should speak respectfully”, you barely hide the roll of your eyes but your fathers new friend catches it and you swear you hear a huff of amusement from him, the low sound makes you shiver as you turn on your heel to go back upstairs, your dads scolding calling after you.
“Aish! Spoiled! Brat! You were so much cuter when you were younger!”
“Whatever!”
“Bellybutton lint!”
“Old man!”
“Oh yeah?! You won’t be 22 forever!”
The only response he gets back is the sound of your bedroom door slamming while you’re all too aware of the eyes on your back when you’d left. Your dad sighs as he runs a hand down his face. The salesman simply stands quietly, grinning as always as he observes your little spat. Something about it caught his attention though.
“She’s young.” And your father agrees, insisting that’s part of the reason for your behavior, you apparently were “much nicer” and he nods in understanding.
“College age is tricky. I met her mom around her age and things are so much more different than they were back in our day so I try not to be too hard on her but sometimes she’s so-!” He tilts his head as he waits for your dad to find the word.
“Difficult!”
Ah. How cute. A little attitude problem.
That honestly doesn’t surprise him because most pretty little things almost always had one- you were no exception. Though, you yourself were a pleasant surprise. He’d maintained a friendly relationship with your father on a mere whim, finding him to be…nice unlike most he considered nuisances, so when the man invited him over one day he accepted and as he trailed through the door behind him, taking in the warm tones of your house when he spotted you. Standing near the island by the kitchen in shorts so tiny the wide waistband made them look like a mini skirt, the words ‘PINK’ on the back and a snug white tee shirt, the blue of your bra peeking through, you walk towards them smelling of fabric softener and cold vanilla. Your hair was down as you stared at him like you were both scared and wanting with big eyes full of suspicion. The gloss of your lips shining back at him as your lips curl during your inspection of him, lightly arched brow raising as you gave him a thorough once over, eyes flicking back up to his when you were done. You were absolutely delicious to look at. Short, smart mouthed, pretty and prissy.
He didn’t mind the rude way you spoke to him- no- because your eyes tell. You were weary but interested; cynical in all the ways your father wasn’t but that was perfectly fine.
His smile slowly shifted into a smirk as he followed your father to the living room, humming whenever he would speak, but his thoughts were preoccupied.
Thinking of smooth legs on a cute face he’d love to see wet with tears as he spanked your smart ass raw.
•
•
•
When you went upstairs the first thing you did was grab your headphones and tune out.
What the fuck was your dad thinking??
You huff as you flop on your bed, scrolling through your favorite apps while you tried to slow your thoughts.
Everything is fine.
Your dad always has the most unconventional friends and acquaintances so this was probably just that and you were freaking out more than usual because he was unfathomably attractive. That’s it. You just needed to get a grip. But fuck would you love to ride him through the weekend if only he didn’t have such a concerning aura…and wasn’t pals with your dad of-course.
About 2 hours later when you go downstairs to get food and bring it back to your room-answering curtly when your dad asks if you want to join him and the hot stare of the suited man you’re trying to pretend isn’t there.
“Hard no. Do I look like a nurse? You two senior citizens can play amongst yourselves.”
You sigh when you get back up to your room, FaceTiming your friends as you eat, talking about whatever and whoever before you remember you need to organize some of your class notes and say goodbye before you hang up.
It takes less time than you thought it would so when you’re done, you go about your night routine. Teeth, skincare, oversized cotton shirt, lights off as you put on a movie you’ve seen a million times. It’s harder for you to fall asleep when you can still hear his deep voice through the walls talking and laughing with your dad, shaking your core as you toss and turn- physically fighting the feeling- until you fall asleep.
X
Another few hours later, you wake with a start. Something’s not right.
You can still hear the tv downstairs but no voices. The hairs on the back of your neck stand and as you turn your head towards your door- pulling the covers off your legs, the sight of a tall dark figure rips a blood curdling scream from your throat. In that same second the figure steps closer, the light from your tv illuminates him and your heart races as you stare back wide eyed at your dads suited stranger friend. You’re still gasping and reeling as he sits down on your soft bedding, watching with rapt eyes at you trying to calm down from the near heart-attack he almost gave you.
“W-what..what the fuck?!” He smiles as you get up to yell in his face, gesturing wildly.
“Why the hell are you in my-“, you cut yourself off as another realization dawns on you completely and he can’t help the compulsion he feels towards you.
“How long have you been in my room- wait where’s my dad?!” If you knew who he was and what he did for a living, you’d be much more agreeable…or maybe not and that’s what fascinated him about you. You were so unusual. Wanting to steer clear of him instead of on, even though he’d piqued your curiosity, you didn’t blindly follow like every other nuisance did; instead he was the inconvenience and the way you let him know via sharp words and distrusting looks was something he hadn’t gotten in a while. The way you brushed him and your hard working dad off with no more than a pretty glare while probably never having actually worked for anything in your life made him itch to correct you. Make you say sorry- break you back into the sweet girl he knew you could be.
“I swear to god- WHERE IS MY DAD-!“, before you can raise your voice anymore, turning to go find him yourself, he’s pulling you back by your wrist, covering your mouth with his other hand as he hooks his chin over your shoulder cooing at you to calm down - listen to him a bit.
“Shh. Your father is alright, had too much to drink so he’s passed out downstairs but safe nonetheless.” You feel your body relax against your will at his words but you still bite his palm for scaring the hell out of you. The pain that blooms up his wrist from his hand makes him hiss against your ear and you wish it didn’t sound so good before it trails off into a light chuckle.
“I’m going to move my hand. You won’t scream. Understand?” You roll your eyes but nod anyway and a few seconds later his hand is lowered but he keeps you sitting up against him.
“Look- if you’re some kind of extortionist or blackmailer, my dad only works for clean honest compan-“,
“I’m none of those things.” Huh. You’re even more confused but the silence that follows he doesn’t break instead he waits for you, enjoying your discomfort as you shift against him.
“Then what the fuck do you want? Nothing better to do in your ancient age on a Tuesday night besides creep around?” Your mouth would be the death of you and this might very well be the moment as you mouth off to a complete stranger who could be (and actually is) very dangerous but bravado was all you had. You’d seen and heard more than enough to know that an older man in a suit visiting a young girl he didn’t know in the dead of night never ended well.
“I want to chat for a bit.” You tilt your head a bit in confusion but he takes your silence as the go ahead, making your heart pound when he shuffles even closer causing you to feel his firm pecs through his expensive smelling dress shirt; the heady combination makes your pulse race as you fight yourself on whatever it is exactly that you’re feeling but shouldn’t be.
“When your father mentioned you, you sounded like such a nice girl…”, the low way he speaks resembles a purr, words vibrating his chest, thick arms holding you tight to him as his warm breaths coast across your chest and neck.
“Imagine my surprise when I meet you and you’re nothing more than an ungrateful little princess with a pretty face but very nasty attitude.” You feel your face warm in shame at the blatant way he calls you out, immediately defensive as you shoot back,
“What’s it to you? If you want to see some obedient thing then get a boarder collie-!” Enough of that. His hand claps down over your throat, squeezing not enough to hurt but enough to make you shut up as your heart rate spikes, nerves going haywire at the sudden cut of oxygen. You get dizzy quick. Blood rushing through your ears like a current of cotton, hand flying up on instinct to pull at his muscled forearm but it doesn’t budge and you whine- biting your lip as your heart beats liquid fire through your body. You were so fucked up, clamping your thighs shut as if that will stop you from getting wet but it’s hard to pay attention to that with a tight hand around your neck and mean lips against your ear.
“Didn’t your father tell you to respect your elders?” He tuts out and you nod desperately, willing to swallow your snideness if it meant getting air. He loosens his grip enough for you and you gasp so hard you nearly choke, the sound turning him on more than it should; he grabs your chin so you face him with teary eyes and he nearly groans at how weak you look. The sedatives he slipped in your dad’s drink would last for a while so for now it was just you and him.
“Answer me.”
“You first-“, you’re quick to shut your mouth as a smirk grows on his face. A fast learner.
“Smart. But”, he pauses to put you on edge before continuing, “because I quite enjoy your father and his company, I don’t like the thought of him being troubled by anything.” His words are sweet but they also fill you with dread because you know how much you intentionally butt heads with your father. Mouthing off at him just to amuse yourself sometimes. You never meant to stress him but messing with him a little was how you showed your affection.
“That includes you as well.” He rasps against your neck, nipping the sensitive skin there with more teeth than tongue and you choke on a moan, breathing hard.
“Okay. Got it. I need to be nicer-”,
“No, you need a firm hand.” Oh fuck. You bite your lip at that, watching through bleary eyes as he rubs his other hand down your chest, brushing your hard nipples through your shirt as he feels up your soft curves. The hand around your throat tightens when he feels you might move but when you don’t he doesn’t loosen it- instead he rewards you with wet, scalding kisses behind that spot under your ear, suckling down until he reaches your collarbones. Your eyes water from all the sensations as you try to rationalize what’s going on before you lose yourself to how good you feel.
The hand caressing over your body doesn’t stop, threatening to burn you alive with the heat it ignites in you. To make matters worse, you can’t even breathe deeply enough to calm down with the hold he has on your neck and you’re reminded of how pathetically wet you are whenever you move your legs as you’re completely naked underneath your shirt. So much is happening but it’s not enough. Fleetingly scarce touches is all you’re being given but you need more. You shouldn’t want this, want him- or anything having to do with him- but you do and that thought scares you more than any potential repercussions.
He watches you with an unreadable expression as you shift constantly, sliding a hand under your shirt to cup your tits, flicking and twisting the stiff nubs cruelly between his fingers. Laving his tongue over each bruise he’s left on your neck before choking you harder, making the veins on the back of his hand show and your mouth drops open, hoarse broken moans falling as your hips twitch upwards. This was how he liked you. Melting into him so obediently…
“You’re going to be a good girl now?” He asks like it’s a question but the even in hazy state you’re falling into, you know it’s an order. He loosens his grip again so you can answer, voice hoarse,
“..y-yeah.” The softened tone you use when you respond makes him hard beyond belief and he bites your shoulder with a satisfied groan and you swear your cunt has a pulse. The familiar burning ache is so blinding that you listen immediately when he tells you-
“Open your legs.”
He almost didn’t hear your sharp intake of breath. He barely noticed the way your hips snapped up to hump his hand… he was preoccupied with just how wet you were. Your arousal coats his fingers as he slides them between your sopping lips making you keen through shuddering breaths as you try to control yourself. A few hard circles to your clit shatters that control as you cry out, needy sobs falling from your gloss smeared lips while you beg prettily for him.
“Please! I-! I’ll-anything! Just-!” His hand collar tightens again as he slides two fingers knuckle deep in your spasming hole, immediately curling them towards him, grinding them against that spongy bundle of nerves inside you and the fire that’s been steadily burning inside you almost makes you black out from how quick it threatens to consume you. You’ve never felt more out of your mind, your cunt so soaking wet it’s audible. White-searing pleasure shoots electricity through every nerve and you’re screaming. Between the fuzz in your head from oxygen loss or the brutal way he’s fucking you with his fingers- the one thing you do know is that if you cum now, you’ll faint.
“Waittt- mm-! S-stopp!!” It’s the struggle of a lifetime to get the words out but you do and when you do, surprisingly- he listens. Taking his fingers out as the strings of your slick drip from them and you cry at the loss, the ache still there but you could at least breathe. You feel a nip at your ear and you only then notice the way you’ve rested your weight completely against him.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” His voice is thick with arousal from how wonderfully you responded to him. So wet he could taste it in the air as you trembled and cried against him. The water in your eyes spilling down over as they rolled back into your skull. Your face was the perfect erotic expression of tormented bliss as he made you earn air and fight off an orgasm so strong it would’ve put you in a vegetative state.
The sound of your weak sniffles make his cock ache as he lays back on your bed, maneuvering your hips over his as he opens his pants, taking his length out he moans at the pressure relief. Swiping his fat head through your messy folds but not inside.
“Well? I need you to answer me. Or do I need to get it out of you myself?” You shake your head, lifting your arms when he moves your shirt up off you and now you’re completely naked while he’s still clothed. As much as his stare intimidated you, his attentions felt even better, moaning at the dirty kisses his cock gave your hole.
“Was gonna cum…but you didn’t say I could yet”, you reach up to use his arm as leverage while you wiggle your hips and your submission drives him mad with how much he wants to ruin you.
“Aw. That’s cute…but if you came before I let you, what then? Are you smart enough to tell me?” He asks sweetly but the condescending undertone makes you feel dumb as heat blooms in your chest and you will away the fuzz that’s making it hard to think so you can give him a proper answer. One that would please him. The fact that you even wanted to please him was something you’d have to get back to.
“I’d be in trouble?” You say it like a question and less of an answer and he finds your uncertainty so cute as he laughs indulgently at you.
“Close. It’s because you’re my good girl. And my girl only does as she’s told, yeah?” The same trickling tingle at the base of your skull is back again as you mindlessly repeat after him.
“Yeah.” He hums, lining himself up with your drooling pussy, sliding in with one thrust. Gritting his teeth with a heavy groan while you choke on a sob.
“Fuckin’ tight-!” Deep grunting in your ear overwhelming you in the best way and you lose it from how full you are. You could’ve guessed by his height and frame that he’d be packing but it felt fatter than you would have ever been able to accurately guess, pressing effortlessly against every spot that made you see stars.
You were everlastingly grateful your dad was knocked out because the sounds coming from you and your room were beyond incriminating. Even though he wasn’t moving, every-time you did, you could feel the deliciously heavy pressure against your slick walls. Shivers wracking up your body as wheezing fucked out moans left your mouth and you grind down in messy circles until the hand on your throat stops you.
“Look at you. Desperate n’ wet begging to cum. You’d do anything I tell you, huh? Just like a dog.”
A disgustingly pathetic warble is his reply but he wants more from you, choking you hard as he pinches your sensitive nipples.
“Uhhn! Yes!” The sheer desperation in your shaky voice gives him a sick head-rush.
“Open your legs for me.”
You obey before he even finishes his sentence. Thighs falling apart, cooled air over your center makes you moan wetly as you wait patiently. So patiently that the first heavy slap against your pussy winds you by the time the pain registers. As soon as the sting settles, warmth pools in its place, sensitivity heightened as you wail. The stricken sound makes his cock throb inside you.
“Wha-!”, another slap cracks down on your swollen lips, hitting your clit spot on and again and you try in vain to wriggle away.
“You still need to prove to me that you’re sorry for your behavior earlier.” He says, voice casual but no less mocking and you cry. Tears running down your cheeks as your body struggles to adjust and obey. Before you can shout out however many strings of apologies it’ll take for him to let you cum, he strikes your center again, hissing in pleasure at your screams. He feels it. That somehow you’re even wetter, dripping down his balls and smearing your slick all over the front of his slacks. He has half a mind to make you clean it up when he’s done with with you as he spanks your cunt again, biting your ear hard until it reddens.
“If you cum before I tell you, I promise I’ll make this the longest night of your life”, he groans darkly in your ear. You’re blessed that you can still hear him through the bass of your heart’s beat and the loud, wet connect every time his hand comes down. You were so close. The sharp sting and the pained pleasure of swelling warmth his heavy hand left behind was too much and your poor clit couldn’t take much more. Gasping through your tears, you scramble to find the right words.
“‘Lease- please! Ah-m’sorry!” Your raspy voice breaks halfway through when lifts you only to slam you back down on his fat length, flicking your sensitive nub when he meanly asks you,
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Try again, little girl.” You night just be in for a long night after all.
You could barely breathe from how hard he was choking you, swollen pussy enflamed from countless spanks, and your center was stuffed to the brim as he was so big that he didn’t even have to try to hit your spots. You scratch and wrestle with his hand until he loosens it, gasping and whining, you pray you don’t come from the instant relief it gives you. The rush settling over you like a fuzzy blanket. He shifts below you and you hurry to get the words out before he makes you come without his say-so.
“I’m- I’m sorry! So sorry! Please Sir, can I-!”
Sir. You called him sir.
It’s less of you apologizing but more of you submitting to him, acknowledging him by title that he held superiority over you that pleases him enough to let you cum. Cutting off your sweet begging with more mean, heavy slaps to your wet pussy, basking in your delighted wails as he fucks up into you.
His hand tightens around your throat and this time, you welcome the suffocating pleasure. Scratchy cries escape when they can but you’re so far on the road to ecstasy that you don’t even care how you look or sound, chest heaving as your eyes water. Your cunt feels like it’s on fire but you beg him in every way you can to keep going even though you can’t take it and he does, groaning against your ear as he rubs messily at your throbbing clit.
“So good, baby- you can cum. Make your little mess before I make you beg some more-”, he does not have to tell you twice as everything you’ve been holding, releases and you do make a mess.
Mouth dropped open as you sob and for the next couple minutes hot unending pleasure is all you know as the stinging slaps get faster, ending with harsh circles on your bud after each one and your hole gets even tighter before you go limp- liquid jetting out of you. He fucks you through it with a tight grip on your windpipe, using you like a snug fleshlight until he’s coming harder than he has in a while at the state he’s put you in. He waits until he catches his breath to slide out of you- who’s deadweight as he lifts you off him.
Rolling off the bed, the silence makes him look over at you only to see that you’re out cold. His eyebrows raise as he huffs out an amused laugh, fixing his pants before brushing his hand over your pretty face. He might have overdone it he thinks as he sees your face return to it’s normal, less flushed hue. Leaning down, on impulse he presses a kiss to your cheek, his gentlest touch of the night before getting up and covering your worn naked body with one of the many blankets on your bed.
“You’re a treat in more ways than you know.”
As he stands, before he opens your door to leave, he pulls a card out of his pocket and leaves it on your nightstand then heads back downstairs to get his shoes and jacket. Turning off the tv where your dad sleeps easily and quietly slipping out the door, smiling the entire way. Now he has even more fun.
You.
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•
•
When you wake up the next morning, you turn with a pleasant ache and stinging between your legs as you stretch, sighing with a blissful smile until you remember why you ache and who caused it.
Pushing yourself up, you stop when you see a card on your stand, rolling to the edge of your bed, you swipe it off and raise it to your face. It’s a picture of lollipop, a simple circle on a stick but the words below it make your chest warm and you don’t even bother pretending to yourself that you aren’t interested in seeing him again.
“Next time I’ll make you even sweeter.”
In part 2…
#squid game#squid game x reader#the salesman#the recruiter#the salesman x reader#the recruiter x reader#gong yoo#gong yoo x reader#squid game smut#the salesman smut#salesman x reader
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Hello! I see people here are talking about Gaza again.
I’m not one to vaguepost, nor do I usually spend time arguing with zionists and liberals online, but the amount of “pro-Palestine” liberals I’ve seen in the last day saying that Gazans “deserve genocide” because Trump won…
I’m not surprised to hear that democrats are mad at third-party voters. It’s true that even if all swing third-party votes went to Kamala she’d still have lost, but reality isn’t important to these people. Democrats want a monopoly - of course they’re upset at everyone who isn’t voting for their party. Of course they’re more upset with communists and anarchists than they are with nazis.
None of this is new. But even though we’ve seen these patterns before, I am absolutely sick to witness these people blaming Palestinians for this. I’m sick hearing them almost gleefully wishing for Gaza to be turned into a parking lot. I’m sick coming across individualistic little diatribes about how they’re “done” boycotting, “done” helping others.
Is it Palestinians’ fault that Kamala’s campaign was so poorly run?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the US is now so full of nazis that the Democrats lost the popular vote for the first time since 2004, by 5 million votes?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the US supplies and supports Israel in their annihilation of Gaza and other occupied Palestinian territories, as well as neighbouring countries?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the government assisting Israel’s genocidal project was, for the past four years, Biden’s administration? A Democrat’s administration?
The crime that Palestinians have committed in the eyes of these liberals is the crime of existing where said liberals can see them - namely, on social media. The unofficial charges: not being silent, resisting, asking for help from the people best equipped to give money for their survival. So again, I’ll ask - is it the fault of Palestinians that the people best equipped to help them are those in the imperial core? That the people Palestinians must go to for help are people benefitting from both this genocide and the genocides the empires that house them are built on?
Of course the gravest offence is interrupting the liberal supply of white noise. Comfort is, after all, the biggest priority in liberalism - silence and denial is self care. Murder by proxy is the most popular of hobbies, and is best enjoyed with the sound off. But Palestinians are not quiet. You can see their faces now - and the identification of them as something other than faceless, or rather someone, begins to burrow through the insulation built up around you.
You have the barest sense of how fragile your world is. You can either turn away from this, or continue your journey towards the truth. These liberals are examples of those violently turning away and taking up the slaughter again, desperate to dispel any reminders that they are not the only people on earth worthy of life.
You can literally buy an indulgence now by donating to a Palestinian fundraiser. Yes, even if you’re not a Democrat, or you’re from Europe (chances are your government supplies Israel too, or is at least complacent), or there’s any other facet of your identity that supplies nuance. This is up to all of us, no matter who we are.
I’ve been spotlighting Falastin’s campaign to save her family in Gaza for more than two months now. I will continue to do so until they’re safe; but their safety will likely be a long time coming. This is in part because Falastin’s campaign must support 24 people, and in part because donations are slowing down - not only for Falastin, but for a lot of other fundraisers I keep an eye on. To be afraid for so many people while watching liberals angrily abandoning this cause is distressing and disheartening.
This is life or death. I don’t care who you are, and I care even less to hear if you’ve voted or who you voted for. All I ask is that you boost this post and, if you can, donate to Falastin. The Gofundme is in SEK and the rates are:
10$ = 107 SEK
25$ = 269 SEK
50$ = 538 SEK
100$ = 1,076 SEK
You can also donate via PayPal in USD: [LINK]
We also host a raffle for hand-made Palestinian thob [info HERE], and the first winner will be chosen in a bit less than 2 days.
P. S. Yes, Falastin’s campaign has been vetted, several times across multiple platforms:
#282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [HERE],
#957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [HERE]
Falastin's account: [LINK]
#falastin#gaza#palestine#yep another long post bc short ones do not get traction.#spent at least 5 hours on this
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Danny always knew tax evasion ran in his veins. His parents hadn’t been the most… morally sound of people, and less so as ecto-scientists.
He just didn’t think their lessons would ever result in a criminal empire that spanned the entire city and then some. Danny hadn’t seen it coming. His parents definitely wouldn’t have.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Fox.”
Danny ‘the Phantom’ Fenton sat down across from a rather tense looking (to Danny’s enhanced senses, anyways) Brucie Wayne and his right hand, Lucius Fox. He smiled pleasantly, matching Brucie’s vacant smile with that touch of Midwest suburban mother smile.
With his acquisition of multiple Gotham companies, his rather newly established Fentom Co. became one of the largest holding companies in Gotham, the first being Wayne Enterprises and the second being Drake Industries. After months of constantly working his butt off while fending off assassins, reforming Gotham’s slums and cleaning up some of the streets, and taking care of his nest of street kids, Danny garnered enough power to even stand close to Wayne Enterprises in terms of financial powers.
The topic of this meeting was, of course, the proposed merger of Wayne Enterprises’ Medical R&D division with Fentom Co.’s pharmaceutical department. Usually, Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t even consider such an offer, as their Medical R&D division was the most well funded and least likely to be part of a Rogue’s scheme- and therefore most beloved- department of the same nature in Gotham. However, Danny had something the other offers didn’t.
Blackmail.
His overly polite smile widened as Bruce’s mask twitched. His eyes slid over to Lucius Fox.
“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard much about your genius in… research and development.”
By that, Danny meant that he knew Lucius Fox helped develop Batman’s tech.
He did a lot of stalking that week. It felt rather… invasive, even if he did get a bunch of juicy secrets.
You know what they say: dead men tell no tales… but halfas are generally blabbermouths.
“Is that so? It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Fenton.” The man quickly glanced between the youngsters, accurately predicting that this might have something to do with Bruce’s active nightlife.
“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”
Wow, Danny didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone sound both so perky and dead inside at the same time, except for Susan at Gotham High’s bake sale.
Bruce wishes he could be a Susan. He’s at best a Becky.
“Will you be staying, Mr. Fox? You’re the head of the R&D department, correct?”
“Ah, yes-”
“Oh, Lucius! I think you had an appointment with the finance department right now! I heard Sally talk about it, you know!”
Lucius Fox sent an unreadable look at Bruce before rallying.
“Oh, it must have slipped my mind. My apologies, Mr. Fenton, it seems as though I can not skip this appointment.”
“That’s alright. I suppose it gives you… plausible deniability… should things go wrong, haha!” Danny allowed his smile to widen a little further than natural. Bruce tensed but Lucius Fox simply politely smiled and left the room.
Ignorance is bliss and all that, Danny amusedly thought.
As the door shut with a click, Bruce dropped the vacant Brucie smile and sighed.
“What do you want,” he gritted out. Danny wasn’t about to let that slide, not after he spent the better part of this month wrangling Bruce’s problem children.
“Ah, it must be because I’m from the Midwest, Brucie, but where I come from, we value these things called manners.”
You uneducated jerk, he doesn’t say.
Danny leaned back in his chair, loosening his smile into something relaxed and sharp.
“…” Oh, boy, Danny could just hear the other man’s blood pressure rising. “What is the purpose of your visit, Mr. Fenton?”
“Relax, Brucie,” Danny sing-songed in a non-relaxing way. “I’m just here to discuss a possible merger that I’m sure you’ll agree to, and give you a couple of updates on your… wayward bird.”
He heard Bruce take a slow, controlled breath. “Very well. Where. Would. You. Like. To. Start.”
Danny ignored the gritted out sentence. He passed a contract to Bruce, who took it like he was handling a live bomb.
“Here’s the proposal, Mr. Wayne. Please, look it over.”
He watched as Bruce looked over the contract with an eagle eye before lowering it, scrutinizing Danny.
“This is… very fair.”
Danny raised an eyebrow. Of course it was fair. Danny wasn’t interested in exploiting the Waynes, despite them being very able to afford it.
He’d brought fifty manufacturing sites for pharmaceuticals, and offered up a building where both companies could send their workers. He provided top notch security- that definitely didn’t have any talons on staff, what were they talking about?- that came from his own security division. Granted, most of them were reformed and trained goons, but hey, creating jobs can only help Gotham’s economy and help break the cycle of poverty, right? Guaranteed by the Wayne name and, most importantly, uncompromised medicine that was accessible to everyone would be a damn good start. He’d also have Penguin’s empire to distribute it to those who couldn’t make it to a clinic or a store, and there were plans in there to work with and establish contracts with Gotham’s welfare department. Well… once Danny finished replacing them with people who wouldn’t try to take a cut of the funds and actually cared about the people. He was thinking… the multitudes of poor grad students and parents that need income. He’s in the process of building childcare centers and…
It’s a good thing he managed to save money from the taxes (thank you, Gotham’s morally ambiguous tax experts that were in desperate need for clients! He could do it himself but having a team of accountants at the ready was seriously so helpful.) because ancients knows the government weren’t about to step into Gotham and help the people here. He needs so much money to pull all of this shit off and a lot of it has to be clean.
Danny inwardly sighed and marked another thing onto his to do list.
Make money laundering fronts.

“Of course, Mr. Wayne. You didn’t think I’d come in here demanding money, did you?”
“I considered it.”
“I am, in fact, trying to help Gotham. You might not agree with my methods, but I’d rather not damage Wayne Enterprises when it’s doing so much to help the people.”
Ugh, he was doing too much work. Danny just wanted to- hah- chill at home and read bed time stories to his kids.
Bruce Wayne, the specific blend between Brucie and Batman, regarded him silently. Danny felt like he went up a few notches in the respect ladder.
Nice.
“You’re a criminal.”
“Says the man in the bat-suit breaking into places and assaulting people.”
Bruce’s hands spasmed around the contract. Danny smiled at him, taking a sip of the coffee they’d prepared. Oo, nice!
“Ah, I heard you’re adopting- pardon, fostering- Tim Drake. Getting empty nest syndrome, Brucie?” He slipped back into using Bruce’s first name. The proposal was formal. This… was very much not.
“What about it?”
“That’s very kind of you. Speaking of which, well, of your birds, I was wondering if you remembered what I asked you to do.” Danny continued, not giving Bruce a chance to reply. “Didn’t I ask for you to keep your birds in line, Brucie?”
The CEO straightened even further, form filling out to be Batman’s imposing figure. “I did.”
“No, you didn’t. Do you know where your charge is, right now? No, not the formerly dead one,” Danny tilted his head, smile shrinking.
“Don’t you dare do anything to Tim. I swear, if you even lay a hand on a strand of his hair, I’ll-”
“Sit your Armani clad ass down, Bruce.” Danny snapped. “Your son’s in your office. I don’t harm children, and your assumptions are deeply insulting. Threaten me again, Bruce, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how much I know about your birds, your cousin, and the commissioner’s daughter.”
Bruce snarled but leashed his anger just enough to sit back down. He itched to go check on Tim, but leaving a threat like Phantom unwatched felt inherently wrong.
“Your other son,” Danny continued. “Is doing quite well. He’s learning that he has hobbies again. He’s actually working under me, you know.”
“He’s what.”
Oh, yeah, that tracks. It figured that Jason wouldn’t tell Bruce about anything. He’s still conflicted about his death. Danny got it.
“Ah, that’s precious information. You’ll have to offer something of equal value if you want to know. There is, on the other hand, a piece of information I’ll give you for free.”
Danny paused for the dramatic effect. It was lost on Bruce, the ultimate drama queen of this world.
“The League of Assassins are hanging around Hotham lately. It’s getting tedious, getting rid of them. I suggest talking to your old flame, you know, with words and what little communication skill you’ve got rattling around in your noggin to get them to pull back. Her interest is… unnaturally focused on Jason.”
Danny read the dark agreement swimming about Bruce’s face and inclined his head. “Should negotiations fail, rest assured that Jason will be protected.”
“…Thank you.”
“You are most welcome. Go ahead and discuss the contract with Mr. Fox, I am sure you’ll find little problems with it. Ah,” Danny stood up, fixing his suit jacket. “And you should probably check up on Timothy. He’s probably having a great time in your office, Mr. Wayne.”
“I’ll see you out.”
“Of course.”
Having Batman escorting him out should probably be more intimidating.
Danny stood in the elevator, waiting for Bruce’s contemplative silence to put itself into words.
Sure enough, “What… what kind of hobbies does Jason have now?”
“I’d tell you to ask him, but you two aren’t on speaking terms, are you? He likes books, of course, but recently, he’s found an interest in glass blowing. He made quite a bit of progress on his attempts at sun catchers.”
“I see.”
Well, Danny’s not about to step on that landmine any more than he has to.
——
“Danny.”
“Oh, hey, Jason. Sit down, we were about to have dinner.”
Jason clambered into the window. Danny sighed. He had a door, but by the way Jason never used it, it was like the door didn’t exist.
“Mind telling me why the old bastard showed up on my rooftops with a bunch of glass and glassblowing tools?”
Danny smiled. “No idea.”
“Uh huh.”
Danny placed a hand on his chest and put on his best woe-is-me expression. The teen’s face twitched in annoyance. “Doubt? At me? Why, I never!”
A bread roll thwacked him in the face.
#dpxdc#danny phantom#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#dc x dp#red hood#bamf danny phantom#crime lord Danny#accidental crime lord Danny
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Is the princess really getting married?
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Charles leclerc x fem reader
Part 1 Part 2
Summary: The Princess of Monaco is getting married, but the fans don't know who the lucky one is.
Face: people on Pinterest, and the driver.
Warning: fluff, Instagram AU.
A/N: There will be a second part.
Masterlist
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Ynofficial
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Description: Me every time they tell me I should go get ready.
Liked by user56, lewishaamilton, and other 948.983.
user43: Yn doesn’t want to be a princess anymore.
user32: Let’s switch places, girl. ❤️ Like to author
yourbrother: Yn, you shouldn’t post these things.
Ynofficial: Don’t be so strict.
yourbrother: I’m just trying to keep you on the right track.
Ynofficial: How boring.
user3: The best princess I’ve ever seen.
user12: This is too funny.
user34: POV: How to pretend not to be a princess.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: POV: It’s not a POV.
user34: YNNNN!!!!
Ynofficial: Yes, that’s my name.
yourbrother: What am I going to do with you? ❤️ Like to author
user78: What do you have to do today?
Ynofficial: Another one of those shoots for something, honestly, I don’t even know.
user23: Wait, you’re doing a photoshoot and you don’t even know what for?
Ynofficial: Exactly.
Ynofficial
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Description: At least I have him to keep me company.
Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and other 8.483.939.
user45: How cuteeee.
user67: The luckiest little dog in the world.
user221: Yn doesn’t need a boyfriend; she has her dog.
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Ynofficial: I totally agree.
yourbrother: He’s the only one who deserves to live in the palace.
Ynofficial: I know you love my son more than me, thanks.
yourbrother: I never said that.
Ynofficial: So, you love me?
yourbrother: You trapped me. ❤️ Like to author
user21: The last photo is worthy of a queen.
user34: Maybe you meant goddess?
user56: Guys, doesn’t that dog look like Leclerc’s dog?
user7: Who’s Leclerc?
f1lover: How can you not know? He’s a god on earth.
user90: He’s an F1 driver who has a dog of the same breed named Leo.
user50: Now that I think about it, they adopted them around the same time.
user54: Coincidence?
Ynofficial
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Description: Okay, okay, I have to admit I had fun this time.
Liked by user43, checoperez, and other 98,453.
yourbrother: I told you.
Ynofficial: You usually tell a lot of lies.
user45: I love the relationship between Yn and her brother.
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user6: The heir to the Monaco throne.
user7: He’s very kind, I met him.
Ynofficial: Try living with him, then we’ll see.
user21: Were the jewels real?
Ynofficial: Yes, and they’re really heavy too.
user6: I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.
Ynofficial: The clothes are super uncomfortable tooooo.
user67: But they’re beautiful.
user0: They look amazing on her.
Ynofficial: I can’t wait to take them off.
Ynofficial
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Description: A date before saying goodbye.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 4.784.839.
user21: Who are you with, girl?
Ynofficial: With a human being.
user6: The luckiest human in the world. ❤️ Like to author
user5: YN OF MONACO WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
user34: Thank you, Yn.
user1: Whoever it is should thank their lucky stars every day to be with someone like Yn.
❤️ Like to author
user45: So, is she engaged??
user41: Yn, don’t play these tricks on us.
user67: It’s not funny.
user3: I love the dress.
Ynofficial: I don’t, they forced me to wear it.
user56: No way we could afford it.
user32: I wish I were a princess.
Ynofficial: Wish granted, please come take my place.
user6: Guys, isn’t the Monaco GP today?
user5: Oh God, you’re right.
user43: Do you think she’s going to the GP?
user8: I didn’t know she was into F1.
user09: Neither did I.
user5: Yn is the black sheep of the family.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: You’re absolutely right.
user56: That description doesn’t sound like you.
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Ynofficial: Sorry, too poetic.
yourbrother: Mom wants to talk to you.
user6: Trouble’s coming.
Ynofficial: Time to run off to Mexico. Checo, will you host me?
checoperez: Whenever you want. ❤️ Like to author
user32: Wait, they know each other???
user9: Did I miss something?
user78: What does this dialogue even mean?
user76: YN?
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Ynofficial
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Description: Guess who’s not supposed to be wandering around the paddock?
Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and other 877.473.738.
gp1: YN OF MONACO.
vroom: Wait, they allowed her to go to the GP??
race: I think at least someone from the royal family always has to be there?
user43: YN, DID YOU MEET CHARLES?
Ynofficial: 🤫🤫.
16_55: IT’S A YESSS.
user2: MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE MEETING. ❤️ Like to author
yourbrother: Where did you go? Mom’s going to be very angry.
Ynofficial: Cover for me.
yourbrother: Wait, what?
Ynofficial: Thanks, love you.
yourbrother: No, Yn, come back here, we agreed to stay low-key.
Ynofficial: No one will see me.
yourbrother: That includes me too, right?
Ynofficial: Maybe yes, maybe no.
63_: I love this woman.
user42: Is the car comfortable?
Ynofficial: My princess ass didn’t appreciate it.
user21_: That’s why you’re my favorite princess.
Ynofficial: I don’t think you know any others.
danielricciardo: Princess Yn is a fan of mine.
Ynofficial: You’re my childhood.
danielricciardo: I’m not that old.
Ynofficial: Don’t worry, Daniel, it’s hard to accept.
landonorris: Wait, Daniel met her and I didn’t?
maxverstappen1: He’s just privileged.
Ynofficial: I’m coming to you, don’t fight.
user98: Everyone wants Yn. ❤️ Like to author
81_4: She’s anything but a princess.
f1lover: Please marry me.
Ynofficial: Sorry, I’m a bit busy.
Ynofficial
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Description: As a good princess, I have to congratulate Charles Leclerc for winning his home race, Monaco. Congratulations, Predestined One.
Liked by charles_leclerc, f1, and other 42.457.473
f1lover: How sweet, Yn.
ferrarifan: After this post, I’m over the moon.
race_: The Monaco curse is broken.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: Yes, but now Charles has to endure at least a month of bad luck.
charles_leclerc: Thank you, Yn. ❤️ Like to author
charles_leclerc: I thank you, Your Highness, for wasting two minutes to make the post. ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: Consider yourself lucky.
landonorris: Will the next victory post be dedicated to me?
georgerussell63: Keep dreaming, mate. ❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: Charles has reached the pinnacle of his career after this post.
carlossainz55: I can hear him laughing and blushing from here. ❤️ Like to author
maxverstappen1: Princess, may I humbly request your attention? ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: I always have my full attention on you, Max Emilian Verstappen.
charles_leclerc: No, today is my day, step aside. ❤️ Like to author
user56: Is Charles jealous??
user45: Max asking for Yn’s attention?
Ynofficial
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Description: I can officially say I’m off-limits.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 98,457.633.
yourbrother: I’m so happy for you, little sister.
❤️ Like to author
landonorris: Can I be the best man?
Ynofficial: No, you might show up to the wedding already drunk.
maxverstappen1: You said yesss! ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: I said yesss!
georgerussell63: Congratulations, guys.
❤️ Like to author
lewishamilton: Congrats, but honestly, I expected it.
❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: He has the eyes of love.
❤️ Like to author
user44: No, okay, we need to figure out who it is.
f1lover: It’ll be the most beautiful wedding ever.
ynlove: Our little girl is growing up.
charleslec_: I hope it’s Charles.
race: It’s definitely a driver.
vroom: I don’t know; it could also be a prince or noble.
user32: I doubt it, knowing Yn.
ynqueen: Love is blind.
user3: Whoever it is, I’m so happy for you.
user77: I’m going to drop a bomb: I think it’s Max.
maxie_: Oh God, yes, can you imagine??
1_11: The best couple ever.
Ynofficial: I like your theories.
user66: Yn, help us, please.
cl16: Has anyone noticed Charles didn’t even comment?
55_: Strange.
Ynofficial
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Description: Goodbye, Monaco.
Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and other 757.648.
yourbrother: I can’t believe mom let you go.
carlossainz55: Knowing Yn, she would’ve gone anyway. ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: My friends know me too well.
user43: Wait, how long have they known each other???
formula1_: More importantly, since when does Yn love F1?
f1lover: It’s a new thing, actually.
race: Yn, princess of the people.
Ynofficial: Always at your service.
landonorris: Now she’s getting a big head.
charles_leclerc: As soon as they offered you to skip your duties, you accepted right away.
Ynofficial: You shouldn’t talk to a princess like that.
charles_leclerc: And you shouldn’t talk to a prince like that.
f1love: WAIT, WHAT DID CHARLES MEAN???
charlesmylife: Guys, Yn deleted it.
charelsofmonaco: No, I don’t understand.
16cl: I arrived too late 😭😭😭.
Flove1: Finally, we have proof that this man exists.
user65: I was convinced it was a joke.
user90: Secret agents of the world, unite, we need to find out who Yn’s boyfriend is.
user67: YN, WE HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
Ynofficial: And I have zero answers.
user56: Where are you running to, girl?
Ynofficial: Away from nobility.
Ynofficial
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Description: I had to try the ice cream in Italy.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 74.673.883.
yourbrother: Bring me some.
Ynofficial: No.
charles_leclerc: I’ll bring it to you.
Ynofficial: Since when are you two so chummy?
f1lover: No okay, we missed something.
race: Something important.
Formula1: Is that Leo or Yn’s dog?
f_1: The numbers don’t add up.
user78: I can’t tell them apart.
user1: They look the same.
landonorris: Good job, Yn, distract him so I can win in Monza.
carlossainz55: NO, YN, BRING CHARLES HERE NOW.
Ynofficial: Now I don’t know what to do anymore.
user56: Yn is a princess even outside of Monaco.
user09: How cute is the guy tying her shoes?
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#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula one imagine#fanfiiction#f1 x reader#cl16 x you#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16#cl16 one shot#ferrari f1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles lecrelc#f1 x you#f1 drivers x reader#f1 fic#instagram au
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I know you’re asking for Spencer fics… While I adore single dad!Spencer… How about some single mom!reader and Spencer? 💕
You and your daughter work your way into Spencer’s life one chess game at a time. fem, 1.3k
It all starts with, “Hello.”
Spencer looks up, and he finds any word he could’ve said dead on his tongue. You smile at him oddly gentle, and he assumes he’s got something on his face your afraid to point out.
“Hi,” you say, unperturbed by his lack of response. You keep your head ducked but seem friendly enough as you lick your lips. “I don’t know if you’re busy, but I was wondering if you’d play chess with my daughter. You don’t have to say yes, but she’s really polite and she won’t cheat, and she really wants to say hi.”
Spencer looks behind you, where your daughter stands a ways away pretending not to watch. She could only be three of your years old —if she can play chess, she’s a prodigy. She has on stripy tights and a dress, a vinyl coat open over the top, her hands wringing together.
“Okay,” Spencer says.
Your smile is even nicer, then. Relief and thankfulness aimed fully at him. “Thank you.”
You meander back to your daughter and bend down to whisper instructions too quiet for Spencer to hear. Shy, your daughter shimmies forward, then walks proper steps when you encourage her with your hand behind her shoulder. “It’s okay,” you whisper, “let’s say hi.”
The chess boards are built into the tables at the park. Spencer sits on one stone stool, and your daughter makes herself comfortable on the opposite one. You kneel beside her without worry, knees on the dirty floor.
“Hi,” your daughter says. She has a high voice, reedy, like she needs a drink.
You rub her arm.
“Hello,” Spencer says. “Have you played before?”
“Me and mom play.”
“So you know the rules?”
“Some,” she says.
Spencer’s only human. He does think about the horror of being trapped opposite of a toddler for the next half an hour bumbling through the steps, but it’s not as though he has other things to do, and, really, he loves people. He’s scared of talking, that’s all.
“We play a lot on my phone, where it tells her what moves she can and can’t do,” you say. “But it’s okay. I have practice, I can be the phone.”
Your daughter laughs like this is the funniest thing on the planet. “You don’t look like a phone,” she says.
“That’s nice of you, but that’s ‘cos you’ve never seen my wires.”
She laughs again.
“I know all the rules, too, don’t worry,” Spencer says. “Are those your pieces? Or we can play with mine?”
“Sofie has her pieces, it’s okay, we don’t wanna lose yours.”
You let your backpack slip down your back and unveil a chess board box with sellotaped corners. The sleeve inside is unhurt, and you put it in the middle of the table. Spencer takes initiative and grabs the purple ones. You and Sofie arrange the pink ones in a mirror.
Sofie is surprisingly good at chess, considering her age. Sometimes Spencer ends up playing against you, your advice murmured in her ear, and every time you smile at him he feels a little nauseous.
He lets her win, of course. The first few times, at least. Over weeks, you and Sofia occasionally see him in the park playing chess, some days in the middle of a game with someone else, other times alone. Sofie comes up to him increasingly confident to ask for the next game, and Spencer realises he’s somehow made two friends.
“Spencer!” Sofie shouts, tumbling over the grass bank to stop on the end of the retaining wall bordering the chess tables. You’re just behind her, looking tired.
“Sofie, hi!”
Sofie jumps down off of the wall before either of you can stop her. “Spencer, where have you been?” She rockets toward him. He stands, worried she’ll fall flat on her face, but she continues to race toward him until she’s throwing her arms around his legs. “I missed you.”
“Well, I missed you too,” he says, surprised. He gives her back a tentative pat. “I’ve been learning new techniques.”
“But where did you go?” she asks.
“I went to Alaska. It was super cold.”
“Hi, Spencer,” you greet, flushed as you plop down on the stone seat opposite him.
Believe it or not (easily believable), Spencer didn’t ask you your name the first time you met. Or the second. On the third occasion you met, you actually apologised with too much sincerity and said, “I’m so sorry, I never asked what your name was. I can’t believe it. I’m Y/N.”
So now you’re introduced, and Spencer has a raging crush on you.
Spencer grins as Sofie sits on his seat, shuffling over so they can sit together. “What, you’re on my team today?” he asks her excitedly.
“Yes!” She pats the chess board. “Mom, my pieces.”
“It’s okay, we can use mine.” Spencer’s are already out on the table. He’d been hoping to see you both.
“I won’t lose them,” Sofie promises.
“I might. Where have you been, Spencer? Sof made us come here four times last week, we had to play chess with Melinda.”
“I was working,” he says. “We’re always going somewhere far away, I didn’t realise we’d be there for so long.”
“‘Cos he’s a special agent,” you whisper to Sofie.
She puts a finger over her lips, “Mom, don’t so loud!”
“Sorry, I’m sorry.” You nudge a King back onto his square. “Did I blow your cover?” you ask, your voice a rolling murmur.
Spencer holds Sofie’s back reactively as she wiggles on the seat. He has an answer. He should play along —he’s been reading up on how to flirt like he’s not a lonely weirdo and that’s with confidence and running jokes, but the way you’re looking at him stops him in his tracks.
No one ever mentions the panic of a shared smile.
“What happens if people find out?” Sofie asks worriedly.
“Nothing happens, Sofie, I’m the boring kind of special agent where nothing I do is a secret.” He winces at her crestfallen expression. “I’m sorry. Maybe we can have a secret mission together? Me, you, and mom?”
“Really?” you ask, surprised.
Spencer nods enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah! Yeah, of course.”
“Like… dinner?”
Spencer bites the tip of his tongue, to an immediate sting. It’s not the first time in his life a conversation he’s in has occurred without him: you’re shared smile was you flirting first. His reciprocation, while not intended, has served as flirtation.
He didn’t mean to do it, but he doesn’t care, he won’t mess it up, “If you want to?” He clears his throat, his voice returning to a more acceptable tenor. “We could go for dinner… tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Not tonight. Not… unless you want to?”
“We didn’t have dinner yet,” Sofie says helpfully.
Your gaze falls to the chess board. “I don’t think I’m dressed for dinner. I had such a long shift.” You’re shrugging, minimising yourself.
Spencer moves his and Sofie’s first pawn. “You always look beautiful.”
He cannot look at you after he says it, but he doesn’t need to.
“Mom, you're doing that smile like when Mr. Mailman brings our letters.”
“Thank, Sofie,” you say.
Spencer sneaks a glance at your smile. It’s decidedly shy, and if he were to touch your cheek, he guesses he’d find your skin warming. “What does he do when he brings the letters?” Spencer asks.
You pin him with wide eyes.
“He says she’s pretty with a big ‘p’,” Sofie whispers.
“She is pretty,” Spencer whispers back.
You move a chess piece with a breathless laugh. “Okay, then let’s get dinner after I wipe the floor with you both.”
Spencer decides now is the appropriate time to reveal that he is very good at chess. He and Sofie win in ten moves.
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