#and yeah. I am choosing to believe someone’s trying to look out for me and help me heal
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simply lilac outtakes: dodo & minta
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previous - backdated to round two eliminations
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DODO: How did it go?
ARAMINTA: As these things do, I suppose. I doubt that anyone leaving was surprised.
DODO: Did you want to talk?
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ARAMINTA: I do. But I don’t know how to word what I’d like to say.
DODO: You could try? And if I don’t understand something, I’ll ask?
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ARAMINTA: It’s the show. It’s making me feel bad about myself.
ARAMINTA: I should be so happy. And when I’m not dwelling on things too much, I am. But then I think of all the different contestants, about half a dozen of who seem like they would be so well suited to Lilac, and then everyone else who you could have been happy with instead of me. And I wonder, did you choose wrongly? For yourself, I mean.
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DODO: Well, I don’t wonder that.
ARAMINTA: But I do.
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DODO: I wish that you wouldn’t.
ARAMINTA: So do I. But I don’t know how to stop.
DODO: But you’re the one who’s out of my league.
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ARAMINTA: What?
DODO: What do you mean, ‘what’?
ARAMINTA: I just can’t understand how you could ever think that way.
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DODO: Well that makes two of us. I’ve been overshadowed by my brother my whole life. And look at how messed up I’ve been since we got back.
ARAMINTA: Only due to trauma, and you never got a break from it the way we did with the rotations. And Leo’s not one tenth of the person that you are. Sorry, I know that he has his qualities. But he’s so attention-seeking and insecure that he has to try and insert himself into everything - even on your show! 
DODO: [chuckle] He does do that, yeah.
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ARAMINTA: You’re confident and generous and selfless enough to share the spotlight with others. Look at how you play football. You know when to take a shot at goal - and when to pass the ball and set up a teammate who’s in a better position. Leo couldn’t spell ‘team’ without a ‘me.’
DODO: ‘Couldn’t spell ‘team’ without a ‘me?’ I’m so saving that for another day.
DODO: Okay, so I understand how you could feel considering - well, just look at my past BCs. And I know how things were with your father. Just because for some plumbed up reason he was incapable of loving you, it doesn’t mean that no one else is.
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ARAMINTA: I know.
DODO: But knowing something isn’t the same as believing it, I guess?
ARAMINTA: No. It’s not.
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DODO: I know that my mother loves me. And we have a good relationship. But Leo always had her attention growing up. And that was bad enough. I can’t imagine how much things with your father messed with your head. Do you realise how in light of that, it was so brave for you to even apply for the show? To put yourself out there and still have hope that things might work out?
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ARAMINTA: I - admittedly - never had much hope. Mostly I wanted to break out of my comfort zone, perhaps learn something about myself, and to make some new friends.
DODO: And you did all those things, and more. And I definitely could have been more discreet.
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ARAMINTA: We didn’t have a lot of privacy. And you were just doing your job.
DODO: No, I definitely could have.
ARAMINTA: You had all the decision making power. Well, Leo had all the decision making power. But it’s only through Lilac that I’m beginning to understand just how much stress and pressure that can bring, knowing that the decisions you make could directly impact the happiness of others, or that you would make the wrong choice.
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DODO: Yeah, that wasn’t fun. But I was only worried that I would hurt other people. I never worried about choosing you - don’t you see? 
ARAMINTA: I am trying.
DODO: It wasn’t about passion and romance - well, not exclusively. It was about friendship and trust, and who I could see myself with beyond the initial spark. Because that can wax and wane, you know? [dryly] Or so I’ve been told.
ARAMINTA: [weak chuckle] So far I’ve yet to perceive that from you, yes.
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DODO: It was about someone who saw and accepted my flaws, and who doesn’t judge me for them but who also doesn’t let me get away with them either - and who will give me the support and space to grow. Someone who’s always striving to be the best version of herself, so that I’m encouraged to do the same too. Someone who I can see the best version of myself in.
DODO: I guess I’ve always wanted to fall in love with my best friend. And now I’ve made a best friend, and she’s also the love of my life.
ARAMINTA: I - thank you. I needed to hear that.
DODO: Anytime.
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ARAMINTA: I was wondering if - it’s not that you’re unaffectionate towards me. Lilac’s always joking about just how affectionate you are. But I don’t think there’s such a thing as being told too often for me.
DODO: Oh, challenge accepted. [...] You know, this gorgeous blonde once told me that I gave great hugs.
ARAMINTA: Oh, did she now?
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ARAMINTA: I saw that these days, the ‘WowWow Hut’ is functioning as a vacation rental. And what I’m about to suggest may sound strange, but I was wondering if we could go back? Perhaps it may help to make it feel more like it’s ours.
DODO: Or we could make some new Sulani memories while we’re there.
ARAMINTA: I would like that. [...] Could I sit on your knee?
DODO: There’s always space on my knee for you.
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ARAMINTA: I think that I should go and see the onset counselor.
DODO: I think that’s a great idea.
ARAMINTA: If I like them, would you want to make an appointment too?
DODO: Yeah, I would.
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DODO: Hey, did you know that Watcher Ana once gave me the UNFLIRTY trait?
[Both laugh]
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ty @akitasimblr as always for dodo harper and for your help with this!
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the-halloween-jack · 29 days ago
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DC ✢ When he realised he loved you
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Characters: Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian and Clark.
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B R U C E⠀W A Y N E
The moment had been a quiet revelation, in a silence so profound it frightened him. The kind of silence that followed the first crack of thunder, one moment loud and undeniable, the next building with tension, waiting for it to strike again. 
You were sitting in the library of the manor, an arcane book resting open upon your lap, the fire crackling softly behind you. He had just returned from patrol — broken, bloodied, and defeated.
You looked up, eyes wide, alarmed at his state and asked, ‘Bruce?’ You had spoken as if he were not the Batman, not an emblem of vengeance and grit, but a man, just a man, whose hurt mattered.
Something in him gave out. Not in an ostentatious, cinematic collapse, but in the subtle yielding of defences too long held taut. His mind, a fortress of rationale and boundaries, fell silent.
She sees me, for all I am, it whispered. And yet she stays.
He had not believed in unconditional love since the alleyway. But in that moment, with the stench of blood from his suit and the leaden weight of the city upon his back, he saw love for what it was — not a sanctuary, but a quiet understanding, and a choosing. And she had chosen him.
It terrified him. Because now he had yet another thing to lose, to protect, something that was not abstract. It had a name. A voice. A laugh. It sat in his home and softened his world.
He had never been the same since.
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D I C K⠀G R A Y S O N
It crept up on him — not a wave, but rather a tide. Quiet and constant and utterly irreversible.
You had fallen asleep in his bed, still holding a game controller, your brow furrowed even in your unconsciousness. He watched you in the blue glow of the screen and thought, God, I’d die for her.
And then came the laugh — low, bitter, surprised. Because of course he would. He was always ready to die for someone.
But this felt different. This was not a compulsion, a sense of duty. It was not about legacy or guilt. It was about you. And the way your presence grounded the part of him that had always been just suspended above the world, half-grieving, half-trying.
He remembered kissing your forehead before leaving for patrol that night. Slow. Lingering. The kind of kiss that was not about want, but reverence.
That was when he knew.
Love was not a thrill. It was a weight. And he had never wanted anything to anchor him, to tether him to this sphere, more than you.
The realisation made him smile. And then it made him ache.
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J A S O N⠀T O D D
Jason felt it like the first rays of sun upon his back after a piercing winter, it flooded his system, warm and compelling. It struck him all of a sudden — new, unfamiliar, and… unwelcome. He did not want it. He had not asked for it.
You were brushing your teeth, half-asleep, wearing one of his old shirts, humming a song under your breath as though nothing was wrong in the world, as though it were not in a state of disrepair just beyond the window. And while watching you, he could believe it for a moment too.
Jason stood in the doorway, paralysed. Because he had seen too much tragedy, too much carnage. He could hardly believe that a quiet instant of peace, like this, could even exist, let alone in his reality.
His first instinct was to run. Not literally — he could never leave you. But to emotionally retreat, to steel himself for the moment this fleeting softness was stolen from him.
But you looked at him. Just looked — toothpaste foam and all — with a kind of amused concern, and asked, ‘You okay?’
After everything he had been through. He was not sure he had ever been less okay.
He loved you. He loved you with a passion that made him feel unworthy, as if he had tainted something holy.
A voice in him protested — said it was weakness. Said this would end in catastrophe. But he ignored it, just this once. He stepped forward and kissed your temple.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Just tired.’ But he was not. This was a lie. His mind was reeling.
He did not sleep that night. He lay awake memorising your breathing.
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T I M⠀D R A K E
It was a question you asked that did it. Something ordinary, like, ‘Did you eat today?’
Tim wanted to laugh because it was such a cliché, wasn’t it? But clichés exist because they are true. No one ever asked him that, not like you had, not like it genuinely mattered. 
Then you brought him a coffee, one of those orders so tailored it was essentially an identity. You did not need to ask what he wanted. You simply knew.
He blinked down at the cup, then at you, and suddenly the task he was completing meant nothing.
He felt the world tilt. Quietly. Like the axis of his orbit had shifted. And it had.
Love, to Tim, had always been a puzzle he did not have time to solve. A thing for normal people, with normal lives, for people who lacked the responsibility he had garnered.
But there it was — simple, unassuming and irreversible.
He did not tell you. Not for a long time.
But he began cataloguing what made you smile. The way your face changed after a laugh, crinkled and carefree. He noticed the way your eyes sparkled just a little brighter when you spoke of things that made you passionate, and how the corners of your lips turned up when you were lost in a quiet thought.
This love became his sustenance, it was the first time in years he feared forgetting something.
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D A M I A N⠀W A Y N E (Aged up as Batman)
It had infuriated him. The sheer idiocy of it.
Love was chemical, juvenile, a distraction. Or so he had been taught. So he had believed.
And yet there he stood — across from you in the garden, where you were speaking to a stray dog as if it were royalty, and something in his chest pulled.
At first, he mistook it for contempt — annoyance at your softness in a moment where he was attempting to be serious. But then you looked up, grinned, and said, ‘I think she likes me.’
And the words caught in his throat. Not because he did not believe them, but because he liked you. Against every grain of his upbringing.
He wanted to scold you, retreat, build walls. But instead, he asked the cat’s name.
That was the beginning. The fracture.
He loved you. In an old, mythic sense. In the way poets spoke of their love — fierce, unyielding, as though it could bend the very fabric of time. 
And that it did, time slowed every time you entered his concentration.
He began to dream of futures — a concept once as foreign to him as mercy.
He has not told you. But he will. In his own time. For now, he will continue to relish in it, and continue in this alluring descent. 
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C L A R K⠀K E N T
He did not realise. Not at first. Because what he felt for you was too immense, too intrinsic, to label with as small as a word as love.
It was not until you fell asleep in his arms, mumbling about a stressful day, completely unaware of the god you were held by, that it hit him.
You did not see him as Superman. You saw him as Clark Kent. You simply saw him. The man. His hope. His grief.
And he realised then — you are his tether.
He thought of Krypton. Of its loss. Of the gaping emptiness it had left as soon as he had learnt of it. And for the first time in years, he did not feel hollow. He felt… full. He realised, that the planet could never have been home to him like she was. 
You snored softly. He laughed. Then cried.
Love, he realised, was not loud. It was simply your hand over his heart. It was your laughter in the next room. It was your body next to his.
He had not fallen in love. He had found it, unexpected and irrevocable, and for all the power he had been bestowed, this force had left him helpless to resist.
And now he guards it with everything he is. Because you are not just his world.
You are his home.
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If you're interested, I've since posted a follow-up called 'When he admitted he loved you' linked, here. Every comment and piece of advice is welcomed and appreciated <3
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writingwithciara · 2 months ago
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the stand in -luke hughes-
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summary: y/n needed a date, and quick. with nobody else available, she turned to the only guy she knew was available. her best friends little brother. so what if they never got along? what could possibly go wrong?
word count: 5k
pairing: luke hughes x reader, jack hughes x bestfriend!platonic reader
notes: recently inspired by a book i just finished reading.
you're coming to the wedding, right? i don't think i could handle things without you also can't wait to meet your fiance love you so much <3
y/n stared at her phone as the texts from her cousin kept coming in. she was getting married to the guy she had been in a relationship with since basically kindergarten. marc, short for marcella, & jacob were barely ever apart growing up & it only escalated from there when they gave in to their feelings and started dating in 6th grade.
the longer y/n stared at the screen, the more she regretted ever mentioning she had a fiance. but she knew her family would get suspicious and try to set her up with someone if she showed up single again.
when she informed them she really was getting married, she was not banking on her fiance leaving her.
she whipped out her phone and sent a desperate text to her best friend.
jack i need your help. call me asap
within seconds, her phone was ringing with the signature song jack had assigned himself. when she picked up the phone, she didn't hesitate to start explaining. it was coming out so fast, he had to stop her.
"slow down, y/n. take a breath and then tell me what's got you so worried."
and she listened. she took a deep breath and sighed. "my cousin is getting married in a few weeks and i made the mistake of telling her about my fiance."
"but you don't have one because jerry is a jackass."
"mildly put, but yeah." she ran a hand through her hair. "i want to tell her that we're not together anymore but that would mean some excruciating mental pain at the wedding."
"right. when your entire family tries to set you up with a single guy there."
"see? you understand me, jack." she smiled. "so, i was wondering if-"
"you know i would love to. but unfortunately, i will be busy planning something super spectacular."
"i hate you." but she didn't. not even a little.
"no you don't." y/n could hear the smirk through the phone.
"jack, what am i supposed to do?"
"you could tell marc the truth and hopefully she won't tell the rest of your family."
"be realistic."
"you're right. i knew it as soon as the words left my mouth." jack looked around his apartment. "oh, i got it. hear me out, okay?"
"what's your idea?" she knew she was going to regret asking, due to the tone in his voice.
"luke's free."
"are you kidding? i said be realistic, jack. that is the worst possible idea ever."
"no. the worst possible idea would be telling them the truth, remember?"
"but i don't want to go with luke. he's the exact opposite of jerry."
"hey, i heard that!" she could hear luke's voice somewhere in the background.
"jack hughes, do you have me on speaker?!"
"only for a second. i had to set it on my dresser to grab something. but you're off now." he chuckled. "and luke may be the exact opposite of jerry, but that's a good thing."
"enlighten me."
"well for starters, he's nicer to me than jerry ever was. and two, he would never ever break off your engagement for stupid reasons."
"well we would never be engaged, so there's that."
"look, do you want a solution or not?"
"a helpful one would be great."
"luke is a good guy, whether you choose to believe it or not. and i'm not just saying that because he's my brother." it was jack's turn to sigh. "just please give him a chance. it's only going to be for one night, isn't it?"
"5 actually. gotta fly up a few days before & we'll be staying at my parent's old place." y/n rubbed her head. "i hate that i'm desperate enough to actually consider using luke of all people."
"hey, i heard that too!"
"take me off of speaker, jack."
"okay okay. you're off. for real this time." jack was laughing but y/n didn't find it funny. although she and luke were never shy when it came to their dislike for one another, she didn't like him hearing how she felt. "so, desperation is making you delirious, huh?"
"i suppose so." y/n looked at her tv. "tell luke to meet me here at noon tomorrow. there's some things we need to go over if this is going to work."
"got it."
when they hung up, y/n threw herself down on the couch and groaned. she couldn't believe she was doing this. and with luke of all people.
the next day, y/n sat at her kitchen counter and stared at the clock.
11:43
she was dreading the fact that luke had somehow agreed to do this. it wasn't like him to offer her any kind of help.
11:44
time was ticking by so slowly and part of her hoped that luke decided he wanted to back out. but that hope was shattered when not even a minute later, there was a knock on her door. she opened it to find luke standing there with a forced smile on his face.
"you're early."
"yeah. figured the earlier i got here, the faster we could go over everything and i could leave."
"and here i thought it was because you actually cared." y/n playfully put her hand over her heart, acting as if she was touched by his actions. she was not.
"don't get your hopes up." luke pushed past her and entered her apartment. she turned and followed him as he set his stuff down on the counter she had just vacated. "jack said he would pay me for this."
"i hope you like having one brother because after today, he's dead."
"relax. i was joking. he's not paying me. but he does owe me huuuuge for this."
"okay you don't have to act like putting up with me is that big of a deal."
"oh, but it is." luke avoided eye contact and looked at his phone. for some reason, his words stung her a little. but she had no idea why. "okay so what do we need to go over?"
"well, you already knew jerry-"
"unfortunately."
"so i just need to go over some things i told my cousin about him and we'll need to spend some time perfecting your acting skills."
"did you happen to tell your cousin his name?"
"no. you can still be luke."
"good. because jerry is the one person i hate" luke smiled and finally looked at y/n. "besides you of course."
"lovely. let's get started, shall we."
over the next 4 days, y/n and luke met in public places to test everything she had taught him. it was not easy most of the time so on day 5, she requested that jack come along with them.
that didn't work because he laughed at everything luke did. he knew his brother was way better than jerry was and seeing him try to act like that guy made jack laugh uncontrollably.
when luke was in the bathroom, jack looked at y/n.
"what?"
"i'm realizing now that you are a saint."
"what do you mean?"
"for starters, you put up with jerry for so long and now you're putting up with luke acting like him. and you're spending time with luke without complaining or yelling at him or wanting to rip his head off."
"well, it's not like i had a choice." y/n rolled her eyes and placed her gaze on her best friend. "what's this super spectacular thing you're planning?"
"it's a surprise, sweetheart." jack chuckled. "and you can't give me that look because i'm not caving to it this time."
"you suck, hughes."
"don't doubt it." he smiled. "but you love me anyway."
"always." y/n shook her head and looked toward the bathroom. "does he always take forever or is this new?"
"maybe he ran into a girl on his way and now he's getting her number."
"oh boy. do i feel sorry for the girl who ends up with that kid."
"careful. that's your fiance you're talking about." luke appeared at the table, causing y/n to jump a little. he took his seat next to jack. "what's next on the schedule?"
"nothing. we're actually done for today. you are relieved of your duties, oh kind sir."
"okay cool." he quickly stood back up. "same time tomorrow?"
"yeah. don't be late again."
"you got it, boss." luke said goodbye to jack and y/n before walking out of the building. when he was gone, jack looked at her.
"i just witnessed over an hour of civilized conversation." he chuckled.
"there's a first time for everything. doesn't mean it's going to be an every day thing after this is all said and done."
"fair point." he smiled. "but at least you're getting along for now."
"i suppose that's one way of looking at it."
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on the day they had to fly up for the wedding, y/n and luke woke up early. she wanted to have the earliest flight possible so she could spend more time with her family, even though she knew they were going to pester her endlessly about her upcoming 'wedding'.
"got everything, right?" luke asked as he hauled their bags to jack's car. y/n looked through her list and nodded.
"yup. we're good to go." she yawned and climbed into the passenger seat and waited for jack to start the drive to the airport.
after 10 minutes in silence, luke spoke up. "i'm not so sure about this. what if i do something wrong and mess this up for you?"
"we've been practicing for weeks. you're going to do great, luke. i just know it." she turned to look at him with a smile. it calmed him down for a minute but once she started a conversation with jack, his worry kept coming back. he really didn't want to let her down.
jack parked where he needed to and luke grabbed the bags.
"i'm going to miss you, jack."
"it's only a week. that'll fly by."
"but a week with luke? that's gonna be tough."
"hey. i heard that." luke chuckled while closing the car door. he waited patiently for their talk to end.
"it's going to be fine. you've been working with him for weeks so i figure there's not too much hatred flowing through your veins right now. plus, you'll be surrounded by your own family so that will take some of the pressure off at least."
"yeah. you're right." y/n smiled. "still going to miss you though."
"obviously." he squeezed her hand and smiled. "i'll be here to pick you up in a week."
"okay. i'll see you then." y/n got out of the car and went to grab her bag. luke gently pushed her hand away and headed inside. "luke i'm capable of carrying my own bag, you know."
"i know. but i want to do something nice for once. i know you're stressed about something happening."
"does it look like i'm stressed?"
"no. but you're great at acting. you hide it well. and i know you well enough to know when you're stressing about something."
"okay." she walked beside him and smiled. "thanks."
"you don't have to thank me for simply carrying your bag, you know."
"i know i don't have to but it's what i do when someone does something nice and unexpected. like this just seems so out of character for you."
"i'm trying to get into my role as your loving fiance." he chuckled.
once they went through all the necessary checkpoints and made it to their gate, y/n was finally able to breath.
"i just realized that we spent the last few weeks making sure you were the perfect 'jerry' & i didn't get to know a whole lot about you."
"i'm sure jack has told you plenty. plus you know me. i'm not much of a sharer."
"fair enough, i suppose." she looked out the window at the planes. "are you one of those people who sleeps on a plane or one that can never fully rest?"
"when travelling with the team, i can sleep perfectly fine. but other than that, i'm a wide-awake traveler."
"yeah me too. at least i won't be alone this time."
"we can use that time to talk to each other and not focus on your family. don't need you freaking out on the plane."
"yeah. okay. yeah. thank you."
"no problem."
they boarded the flight 10 minutes later and spent the entire time just talking and bonding as if they were actually good friends. it was unreal for both of them.
the minute they pulled up to y/n's old house, things felt off. the worry was back for both of them and before they walked in, luke reached down and held onto her hand. she gave him a look before he just shrugged.
"we're engaged, remember?"
"oh. right. i forgot for a second."
"it's going to be fine, y/n."
"i'm sure it will be." she looked at him and smiled a little. she followed luke slowly as he squeezed her hand for reassurance. they walked into the house and her parents came flying around the corner.
"oh it's so good to see you, y/n." her mom pulled her into a hug while her dad shook luke's hand. "oh and you must be the fiance."
"it's nice to meet you ma'am. i'm luke." he held his hand out but her mom pulled him into a hug.
"it's nice to finally meet you, luke." she pulled back and smiled. "oh marc is going to be so happy when she sees you guys tomorrow. she's been talking nonstop about the wedding so seeing her favorite cousin will be like a breath of fresh air."
"i can't wait to see her, mom." y/n smiled and before she could even try, luke was grabbing the bags and following y/n's dad up the stairs to their room. "i'm gonna go make sure dad doesn't scare luke too much."
she hurried up the stairs and went to the room. luke was standing at the window of her childhood bedroom and her dad was nowhere in sight.
"i like your parents. they're very kind."
"i like your parents too. they're a lot like mine in so many ways."
"i totally understand that." he smiled and turned around. "are we capable of sharing this bed?"
"we can try. i'm sorry in advance."
"no, no. it's alright. i should be the one saying sorry. we've known each other how long & i've never really been all that kind to you."
"i haven't been kind to you either, luke. just used to putting up with you for jack's sake."
"thanks." he chuckled. "but we can manage for 5 days, right?"
"well, you did tell me that i'm good at acting so i'm definitely capable of pulling this off." she smiled. "and you're really good too. we have nothing to be worried about."
"absolutely nothing." luke smiled and walked towards the door. "wait, what if nobody believes we're really a thing and they make us prove it with, like, a kiss or something?"
"i'm sure that won't happen. they're never weird like that."
"let's hope we can make it the entire trip without having to kiss. i couldn't imagine kissing you."
"hey, i'm a fantastic kisser. thank you very much."
"i'm sure you are but i just don't have the desire to find out." he smiled.
"okay, fair enough." y/n smiled at him and set her bag on the side of the bed before taking a seat and looking at luke. "marc is going to be obsessed with you."
"why do you say that?"
"she loves guys with curly hair. you should see the guy she's going to marry."
"speaking of them, how long have they been together?"
"they met in kindergarten. i witnessed the moment they met. it was adorable. they were inseparable for years but they didn't admit their feelings until 6th grade." y/n smiled while recalling the moment marcella and jacob knew they were going to be together forever. "they've been together ever since."
"really? that's honestly a sweet story." luke smiled. "so they've really never spent any significant time apart?"
"nope. the longest they were separated was the summer before our freshman year of high school when our family went on a cruise. my parents invited jacob to come along with us but his family went to visit his dying grandfather so he chose them."
"wow. 2 months." luke chuckled. "i can't even imagine being dependent on someone as much as they are on each other."
"me either, honestly. jerry was the first guy i ever had a solid connection like that with. and he'll likely be my last."
"unless you and jack follow through with your pact, right?"
"right? well, actually, even if we follow through with it, doesn't mean i'll have the same feelings for him that marc has for jacob."
"right. but at least you'll know jack would never leave you like jerry did."
"okay. that's true." y/n glanced at the picture on her desk. she stood up and walked over to it. "thank you for doing this, luke. i really appreciate it."
"of course." he stood behind her and smiled. "just remember this when i ask for a favor."
"noted." y/n set the picture down and turned to face him. she was about to comment on the close proximity but the doorbell rang. "are you ready to meet the happy couple?"
"yes." he walked to the door and waited. "lead the way."
it should've surprised y/n when, within 2 minutes, jacob and marcella were already calling luke one of their 'best friends'. but it didn't surprise her one bit.
despite her own resentment towards the youngest hughes brother, she couldn't deny that he was actually a likeable person to everyone else.
when they were alone again, y/n leaned against the wall and watched the smile on luke's face. he looked up at her and the smile fell, but only briefly.
"i love your family. hard to believe you're related to any of them."
"funny, luke. i say the same about you and your family. ellen, jim, jack and quinn are absolute saints. and then there's you."
"you sound insane." luke chuckled.
"get used to it. i'm going to be apart of your family in the future."
"you remember we're not actually engaged, don't you?"
"of course i remember it's fake. it's the only way i can tolerate you this long." y/n shook her head. "i was talking about my marriage to your brother."
"quinn?" luke raised his eyebrow. "wasn't aware you had a thing for him."
"wasn't it you who just brought up my pact with jack earlier? how did you forget about that?"
"relax. i was messing with you." luke smiled. "you and jack are rock solid. after this wedding, there will be nothing standing in your way of happily ever after."
something didn't feel right with the way the words came out of his mouth. they tasted funny and he didn't know why.
on the day of the wedding, y/n was in the room with marcella as she was finishing getting ready. marc turned to smile at y/n.
"thank you so much for being here. and for bringing luke. i love seeing you happy." marcella smiled widely. "and it's been a long time since you've been happy."
"yeah. luke's really, really great. i'm very lucky" y/n forced a smile. she hated lying to her family but it was better than telling them the truth. "i'm not as lucky as you, of course."
"jacob is perfect in every possible way. i love him so much."
"i know. i can't believe you guys have known each other your whole lives basically. it still doesn't feel real."
"the first day of kindergarten was the best day of my life." marcella looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. "you're going to make a really beautiful bride, y/n. and i can't wait to see you walk down the aisle in your wedding dress."
"you're gonna have to wait a while. we haven't even picked a date yet." y/n sighed. "plus there's so much that goes into planning a wedding." she gestured around them but smiled as she did so.
"i don't think luke would care about a huge ceremony. i think he would be happy doing it in front of just a priest. or even at the courthouse. he loves you and he can't wait to marry you."
"and how do you know this?"
"because he's my new bestie. i know all his secrets."
y/n froze. did luke tell marcella that he wasn't really her fiance? he couldn't have. right?
"plus, he told me."
"what?"
"he told me he loved you and couldn't wait to marry you."
"oh." y/n let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "i love him too."
and she found that wasn't really a lie. over the course of their visit to her old home, y/n began to warm-up to luke. he no longer got on her nerves like he did before. she loved him, sure. but it was more like she loved him like a brother.
and for some reason, even that felt weird to say or think about.
"you ready to go out there and marry the love of your life?" y/n asked while holding out her hand to marcella.
"always." she took y/n's hand and walked to where her father was waiting.
"i'll see you in there." y/n kissed her cousin's cheek and walked in with one of the groomsmen.
the second y/n walked in, luke couldn't take his eyes off of her. he had seen her dressed up before, as she had come to many team events as jack or jesper's date, but he couldn't help the way he was staring. the dress fit her so perfectly and her hair was done up perfectly as well. she was the most gorgeous person in the room and as far as everyone knew, she was his.
but reality sank in and luke knew she wasn't really his. it was clear to him that her heart belonged to jack. there was no way he could stop it. they were just meant to be. plain and simple.
y/n stood in her place at the end of the aisle and as marcella walked towards jacob, y/n' looked around the room. all eyes were on marcella, except for luke's. he was staring right at her. y/n's cheeks felt like they were suddenly on fire as she looked away from him. this was just an act.
to y/n, it felt like the ceremony took forever. she kept glancing at luke to find him already looking her way. and she couldn't deny that he looked good in his suit and tie ensemble.
when the reception began, y/n's gaze immediately went to luke. it was starting to become a habit she didn't want.
he smirked from his seat between her parents and set his phone in his pocket. y/n went over to him and smiled.
"wanna dance?"
"with you? always." luke stood up and took her hand. she tried not to stay on the words he spoke, knowing it was only because her parents were right there. but as they danced, something felt completely right.
they were getting along silently and it was nice for a change.
their moment was interrupted when luke's phone vibrated in his pocket. he pulled it out and frowned.
"it's jack. he says he's been trying to call you for an hour but you haven't been answering."
"i have my phone on the 'do not disturb' function. i didn't want it to go of during the ceremony."
"you should call him back." luke took a step back from her and sighed. "i'm sure it's important."
"luke-"
"it's okay. i'll just go talk to marc and jacob." he nodded towards the married couple and headed in their direction. y/n sighed and picked her phone up off the table. she quickly dialed jack's number and waited for him to pick up.
"about time. i've been trying to reach you for an hour. i was beginning to think you and luke killed each other" he sighed. "speaking of which, how are things going?"
"that's why you've been trying to reach me?" y/n let out a frustrated sigh. "things between us were good. we even danced until we got interrupted."
"i'm sorry about that. i didn't know."
"it's alright, jack." she glanced over at luke. "is that the only reason you needed me?"
"yes. wait, no. i wanted to tell you that you look really pretty in your dress."
"my dress? wait, can you see me?"
"no. luke took a picture and sent it to me, along with a text that read 'you made a mistake not coming with her to this thing. by far the most beautiful person in the room'. i wanted to let you know."
"oh." was all y/n could manage to say. she looked back over to where luke was last seen and smiled when she caught him staring again. "i'm gonna let you go, jack. there's something i need to do."
"good luck." jack chuckled before hanging up.
when she was free from the conversation, she put her phone back on the table, told her parents to keep an eye on it, then headed over to luke.
"what did he want to talk to you about? did he finally tell you how in love he was?"
"no. that would be ridiculous." she looked at him and grabbed his hand. "i need to talk to him for a minute. you guys mind?" she asked marc and jacob, who seemed to be in their own world. she dragged luke to a quiet hallway.
"what's going on? what did he say to you?"
"you texted him earlier."
"i did."
"what did you say?"
"nothing bad, if that's what you're asking."
"show me." she looked into his eyes. "please?"
"why is it so important?"
"jack said i looked really pretty in my dress."
for the first time all week, luke's gaze was anywhere but y/n. "okay."
"how does he know?"
"i don't know. kid's got a thing for you and thinks you're always pretty so he probably just assumed."
"luke, please." y/n rolled her eyes. "jack told me you sent him a picture of me in the dress. he mentioned there was a text included."
"what about it?"
"you called me the most beautiful person in the room. which i can't believe."
"fine. here's my phone." he swiped the screen open and handed it to her. "you wanted proof? here it is."
y/n read the text exchange jack told her about. seeing luke compliment her made her melt. it was the nicest thing he had ever said about her. she handed the phone back to him and smiled.
"luke, this is incredibly sweet. but you're very wrong."
"what do you mean?"
"at a wedding, the bride is always the most beautiful person in the room. none of the guests can ever eclipse that."
"of course marc is beautiful. but i can't help it if i think you're more beautiful." he ran his hands through his hair.
"i appreciate the compliment, luke. i really do. but there are rules for a wedding."
"i'm aware now. thank you." luke looked at her with his signature crooked smirk. "i'm sorry for the past, by the way. maybe jack was onto something when he made a pact with you."
"can we stop talking about your brother, who most definitely doesn't have a thing for me?"
"oh, he most certainly does. how could you not see it?"
"i don't know. too focused on his brother, i suppose. think quinn and i have a shot?" she glanced up at luke and giggled when his smile dropped.
"i just complimented you for the very first time and you want to talk about being interested in quinn? unbelievable. when will it be my turn?"
y/n didn't answer with her words. instead, she pulled him close and kissed him. it started as a way to shut him up but when she went to pull away, luke's hands found her waist and he tugged her closer, deepening the kiss in the process.
"it's always going to be your turn, luke." y/n grinned when they finally pulled apart.
"jack's going to hate me." he chuckled before resting his forehead against hers. his eyes were still closed but the goofy smile stayed on his face. "but it was definitely worth it."
"hmm, was it?" y/n leaned up to peck his lips.
"oh. for sure." luke held her tight against his chest. "i can't believe i was stupid and rude to you. when i could've been enjoying that kiss for years."
"the past doesn't matter anymore, luke. we've got a whole lifetime to makeup for that."
"damn right we do."
luke smirked and pulled her in for another kiss. he still couldn't believe it was happening. but as y/n kissed him back, he could get used to making up for the past.
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nakoyaps · 4 months ago
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unattractive
kenma kozume x fem! reader
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kenma definitely isn’t the type of guy to take you out to big restaurats for dates— not that you’re asking him to; if anything you’re both happier spending one on one time at home.
though, to the conventional people in relationships this is a total no-no.
“seriously, y/n? he’s like a millionaire and he can’t spare a few hundred to go out on a date every once and a while? talk about stingy..” your friend, aiya nagged.
she’s always been materialistic if you’re being honest, you don’t even know why you still keep up with her. three whole years of friendship and you swear all you remember is “oh my god, i heard he’s rich!” “ugh, i dumped him— can you believe that he’s only an office worker?”
money is important, yes. you definitely agree on that. but, no one’s worth is solely based on how much they make or how much they spend.
“can you not talk about kenma like that? he’s just not the type that likes to go out.. and to be honest, neither am i.” you murmur, avoiding eye contact with her.
aiya raises a brow, an idea entering her pea brained mind “you seriously think a man with that much money ‘doesn’t like to go out’?”
“he’s so obviously an introvert, aiya.”
“he’s probably just hiding you away from the public cause he’s embarrassed. no offense..” aiya spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, an mildly exceptionally sickening smirk on her pretty pink lips.
“embarrassed— of what?”
“isn’t it obvious?” she asked, motioning to your physique.
“what the fuck, aiya? that’s my boyfriend we’re talking about.” you started to get agitated, raising your voice.
“well geez, no need to get all mad..” she chuckles, “he just doesn’t look like the type to be loyal, that’s all. plus, he’d look better with someone that’s more.. good looking? i’m not calling you ugly or anything, just.. you’re unconventionally beautiful.”
𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆
“fake ass bitch..” you grumble, slamming the door behind you as you flopped on your couch.
kenma appeared from around the corner, looking concerned. “you okay?”
his eyes softened seeing your sour expression, sitting down beside you.
“aiya keeps saying shit about you..”
“so what? people talk shit all the time.”
you roll your eyes, “she keeps saying you’re not good for me, you’d be better off with someone ‘conventionally attractive’ or whatever she’s talking about.”
“that’s not true” he strokes your hair.
“am i not good enough?”
“you are.”
you frown. this was a common reoccurrence and you know you’d get another scolding if you said what you were about to, but.. you only live once, right?
“why’d you choose me anyways? i’m sure lots of your gamer friends are pretty girls too..”
he raised a brow, shutting her eyes with his hands “if you can’t see how pretty you are, don’t even try looking at anything else.”
“i’m serious, kenma!”
“none of them are you. i didn’t just fall in love with your looks— sure they played a big part, but your personality really sealed the deal.”
“that’s what people say when they think their partner’s ugly.”
“you’re not gonna believe me anyways, so..” kenma chuckles, “but seriously, you’re gorgeous. you don’t have to listen to whatever she says just ‘cuz she’s your friend. plus, i keep telling you to stop hanging out with her anyways..”
“i don’t have any other friends—“
“yeah, well she’s a bad influence on you.”
you frowned, sitting upright. face to face with kenma, you felt butterflies in your stomach.
“i still feel like i’m crushing on you sometimes. like i forget that you’re my girlfriend just cause you’re so pretty.”
“fuck off, kenma..” a faint blush dusting your cheeks.
as your eyes met, you felt yourself reaching for his lips—
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sorry if kenma felt ooc!! i was listening to music and i think it took control of my writing lol. the writing was all spontaneous cuz i suddenly felt like getting back into publishing fics :p
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thef1diary · 1 year ago
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Little Big Fan | Eight
— Little Big Allergy
Series Masterlist
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wc: 3.6k
Note: I am not a medical professional, so please let me know if something is incorrect
"Don't you dare think about cancelling, you are going on that date," your best friend's voice rang out of your phone on speaker while you were choosing a dress for tonight.
You turned to look at the phone, as if your best friend was standing there, "I'm not going to cancel, I just don't know what to wear," you responded, placing another dress against your body but frowning.
"Wear that one sexy red dress you have, who knows, you might just get laid tonight."
You shuffled through your closet, finding the red dress in the back, which was expected since you didn't wear it in a long time. You held it out in front of you, "don't you think it's too revealing for the first date? Maybe I could wear this next time."
It was a backless, short garment with two straps. While the back was revealing, so was the front, which featured two cutouts around the hips and exposed a bit of cleavage due to the lack of material.
Your friend hummed, "so we're planning a second date as well huh?" You could basically hear her smirk on the other end. "Well I hope this date goes well," you reasoned, but the jittery feeling didn't go away.
"You and Max are already good friends who happen to flirt occasionally, what could go wrong?" Then after a short pause, she added, "actually no, don't answer that. Try your blue dress, I bet he'd like to see you in blue."
After almost every interaction you've had with Max, starting from the grocery store, you've told your friend everything. Which is why when she suggested wearing blue, you weren't opposed to it.
Putting your red dress back in the closet for another time, which was hopefully soon, you held a navy blue dress in your hand, examining it before holding it up against your body.
While this one, like the red dress, had two straps holding it together, it was longer, reaching a few inches past your knees and including a little slit down the side for convenience.
"Alright, this is the one," you stated and continued conversing with your friend while you changed and began doing your makeup.
"So Bella is at Tyler's?" She asked, making you nod before realizing that she couldn't see you. "Yeah, she'll be there for the weekend."
"Oh how fun!" You could hear the sarcasm in her voice and chuckled, "it's fine, she should be spending time with her dad."
"The same one who called her overdramatic? Did you seriously have to have a kid with a guy like him?" This was a conversation you've had with her many times, and you would always reply with the same answer, "we were young and immature, but Isabella is the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"She truly is, which makes me glad that she turned out like you more than him." You chuckled, "oh trust me, I am glad about that too. It would've been a nightmare if I had to see a little version of him all the time."
"So, speaking of Isabella, how are you going to tell her that you are dating someone who happens to be her favourite person in her favourite sport?"
You groaned, "I don't know, I really don't know. I can't stop thinking about it, because of what Tyler told me," you explained. "Are you still believing his words? Actually scratch that, why are you letting your ex determine your future relationship?"
"God, why do you have to ask such questions," you muttered, taking a moment to think about your response.
"I don't want to believe him, I have a feeling something else happened that day which he didn't tell me about. Plus he's not only my ex, he's the father of my child. I don't think of him as anything more than that."
"Honestly that asshole shouldn't even be considered the father of such a beautiful little girl," your friend stated, and you couldn't help but agree with her.
"Anyways, let's not talk about him, I don't want to ruin my mood before the night even starts," you comment, with your friend humming in agreement.
"You're right, let's talk about Max!" She exclaimed, making you chuckle. That's whom you ended up talking about for the remainder of the time you were getting ready.
Even though she knew all the details right from day one, she wanted another whole story time of how you and Max met, leading up to when he asked you out. Instead of opposing to repeat the story, which you don't even know how many times you've told her by now, you happily told her all the details as if it was the first time.
A few minutes after you ended the phone call with your best friend, your phone rang again which you initially thought was a call from Max. However, it was a call from an unknown number.
You answered the call, and you were met with a woman's panicking voice on the other end, "is this Isabella's mother?"
"Yes, who is this?" You asked first, calming down the inner voices that instantly thought about the worse possible scenario involving your daughter.
"I'm Emma, I don't know if you know me but I am actually at the hospital, with Isabella." You tightened your grasp on the phone, as it was close to slipping away from your hands at Emma's words.
"What happened and which hospital are you at?" You instantly began moving around your house, finding your car keys as you waited for a response.
Emma told you the address as you were leaving through the front door. "She had a severe allergic reaction, and I thought it would be best to bring her to the hospital. I am sorry for disturbing you, I wasn't able to get in touch with Tyler."
You took a deep breath in, knowing that it was bound to happen someday, even though you would rather not have it happen at all. "I'm on my way, should be there in ten minutes. Thank you for letting me know."
It would've been pointless to argue with her, especially since she was the one who informed you of the situation at hand and had the decency to take your daughter to the hospital.
You rushed into the hospital within eight minutes, a record time for you, and you might've broken a few speeding laws but it was for a good reason. It didn't take too long finding Isabella, considering she was in the ER, with a frantic woman standing nearby, whom you assumed was Emma.
As soon as she spotted you, her first words to you was another apology, "I am so, so sorry, I had no idea she had a peanut allergy." That led you towards one question, well more than one but you started off with just one, "what happened?"
She sighed, before telling you how she spent the entire day with Isabella. "One of my friends came by and dropped off some baked goods, I swear I had no idea that it had peanuts in it."
You reasoned that if you calmed her down, it would calm you down as well, because the increasing dread in your thoughts would not benefit you in any situation. You put your hands on her shoulders, "I'm not blaming you for it, you didn't know."
You looked at the doors leading to the ER, "how bad was it?" Emma hesitated before muttering words that made your heart ache, "really bad, she started swelling up everywhere and then passed out."
You tried to sit down, but the need to know her well-being caused you to walk back and forth in the hallway.  Your phone buzzed in your hand, and you were about to ignore it until you recalled something really important.
"Shit!" Max was calling. Of course he was, after all he was expecting you to be home and ready for a date tonight.
"Hey, I'm standing at your front door, are you home or?" He started and awkwardly chuckled, causing you to shut your eyes, imagining how the night was expected to go. He was probably holding a bouquet of flowers, looking like an idiot standing by the door because you weren't home.
"Max, I'm so sorry, I'm actually at the hospital." There was no reason to lie, but even after telling the truth, you didn't feel any less guilty.
"What happened? Are you okay? Is Isabella okay?" His response was quick, and slightly surprising but you've known Max long enough that his kindness wasn't as shocking anymore.
"It's Isabella, allergic reaction," you briefly described, and heard some shuffling around on the other end before he asked for the address. "You don't have to come," you told him as you normally did, but he didn't agree again, saying "I want to."
You didn't argue with him, as your heart warmed at the fact that Max wanted to see Isabella himself, and stay right by your side until she was completely fine.
Quickly telling him the address as you noticed a doctor walking towards you and Emma, you hung up the call. "Which one of you is the patient's guardian?"
You stepped forward, "I'm her mother, how is she?"
"It was an anaphylactic allergic reaction, however everything is under control. We've administered epinephrine but we will be moving her to the ICU for a few hours just for observation purposes in case the symptoms are back."
You let out a sigh in relief, as did Emma. "Thank you," you nodded towards the doctor. Once they left, you sat down, the anxiousness leaving your body.
Looking at Emma, who was standing against the wall in front of you, you had another question brewing in your mind. "Where was Tyler when all this happened?" You asked, remembering that she called you only because she couldn't reach him.
"He said he had an emergency meeting come up," Emma spoke her words carefully, earning raised eyebrows from you. "He left you alone with my daughter?" You had to confirm the words you were hearing and scoffed once she nodded.
"It's not your responsibility to take of my child, it's his. You're not her guardian nor babysitter, you shouldn't have to do that." Emma shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, "it's not the first time."
"How dare he?" You muttered under your breath before standing up and stepping closer to her. "We both have epipens for situations like this, and I am assuming that since you didn't know about her allergy, Tyler didn't tell you about the epipen either?”
Emma shook her head, "no, he didn't."
His lack of attention, led Isabella right to this moment. If he had told Emma about your daughter's allergy, or even what to do when she has allergic reaction, neither of you would be this worried about her health.
Emma, having realizing the depth of the situation, sighed, "I haven't been able to get a hold of him and if it weren't for Isabella constantly talking about you and telling me your phone number to the point where I had it memorized, I wouldn't have known what to do in this situation."
You pitied the woman standing in front of you, especially as you also knew that it was not her fault. You cracked a smile, "she talks about me huh?"
"Oh yeah, she considers you the best mother in the world, and based on her stories, I agree with her."
Then, you heard Max calling your name, walking towards you in a rush. He instantly wrapped an arm around your waist as if it was an instinct, "is she okay?"
Emma stepped away, picking up her phone for another useless attempt of calling her boyfriend.
You wrapped both arms around Max, bringing him in a hug, "yeah, she's okay."
Once he pulled back, he cradled your face with his palms, "are you okay?" You smiled, and your eyes filled with unshed tears because of his question. "Much better now."
Then, Max noticed your outfit which happened to be the dress you were supposed to wear on your date. "Wow," he breathed, his gaze unwavering, taking you in.
He was also dressed up, wearing a suit with a bow tie, and you couldn't help but reach up to touch it, "cute," you commented, making him raise his brows.
"Cute?" He repeated with a questioning tone. You nodded, biting your bottom lip to prevent a smile. "Cute and handsome."
"You are beautiful," he replied, watching as you avert your eyes because his gaze was intense.
"Oh, Max, this is Emma," you decided to introduce them, and added, "she's the one who brought Isabella here."
Max raised an eyebrow in question, "I thought Isabella was with Tyler?" He asked, directed at you more than Emma.
"Well, he wasn't home when this happened, only Emma and Isabella," you stated, and Max gauged your emotions for a moment, quickly recognizing the underlying rage you had directed at your ex. Max knew you'd be discussing this later, in the safety of your own house, so he didn't ask you to elaborate. 
A nurse came by, "Isabella is now conscious, and asking for her parents," they stated, along with the room number.
Emma looked at you and Max with a fond smile, before turning towards you, "I think I should get going now that you're here."
A genuine smile graced your lips, "thank you, Emma, for bringing her here and for staying with her even without him."
"Of course, she's the cutest little girl and I'm glad to get to know her." Both of you stood still for a moment, debating on whether or not you should hug her. Then, without thinking twice you initiated a hug that was easily welcomed by her.
You waited till she left your sights before looking at Max, "let's go?" You held out your hand but he shrugged, "she's asking for her parents, you should go."
You stepped forward and grabbed his hand, "you're coming with me," you decided for him. Although Max didn't pull away, he asked, "what if she doesn't want to see me?"
"Trust me, she'll be happy to see you," you convinced him and walked towards the room she was admitted in while holding each other's hand.
When you entered, Isabella's smile widened once she spotted you and Max. "Mama, Maxy!" She cheered, though quieter than usual.
A nurse stood by her side, monitoring her health and checking the IV drip inserted into your daughter's arm.
"Oh my angel, how are you?" You dropped Max's hand and walked closer to her, lightly kissing her forehead. Instead of a verbal response, she formed a thumbs up with her hand.
Then she looked at the door again, "is daddy coming too?" Isabella asked, sounding hopeful. You shook your head, "no sweetheart, daddy is not coming."
Instead of the usual deflated mood, she shrugged, "it's okay, Maxy's here." She held her arms around asking for a hug, only flinching for a moment since she forgot about the drip connected to her arm.
Max quickly stepped forward, bending over to hug her. "All good, Bella?" He asked, once he felt her arms wrap around him tighter. She nodded for a moment then shook her head against him, "it hurts," she whispered.
He brought his hand up to ruffle her hair before pulling away, "you are a very brave girl."
"Really?" She asked, and scooted over a little so Max could sit beside her. He nodded, "of course! Very brave."
She beamed, snuggling closer to him before looking at you. "Mama, come here," she patted the other side, and surprisingly the three of you were able to fit on the very small hospital bed.
A nurse was constantly in the room, checking in on Isabella's health from time to time and since there weren't any repeated symptoms of an allergic reaction, the three of you were out of the hospital in a few hours.
Max followed you in his car, and carried your sleeping daughter inside the house. Instead of taking her straight to her bedroom, he laid her down on the couch in case she wakes up and needs her mother.
It was safe to say that you were not going too far away from her any time soon.
You were in the kitchen, filling up a glass of water when he returned. He stood behind you, with his hands trailing down your sides before resting on your waist, and his chin on your shoulder. "Did I tell you how stunning you look?"
You hummed, "maybe a few times but I don't mind hearing it again."
He turned you around in his grasp, "well, you look breathtakingly beautiful."
You blushed, "you and your compliments," you chuckled. "What's wrong with it?" He asked, but you shook your head, "nothing, it's just I'll never get bored of hearing it."
He smiled, "good, because you'll be hearing at least one every day."
You tilted your head to the side, "every day? Are you sure you won't run out?" He shook his head, "not unless you keep finding ways to make me speechless."
Both of you remained in that position for a moment but then you frowned, "I'm sorry,"
"For what?" He tilted your chin up as soon as you averted your gaze away from him. "We weren't able to go on the date."
Max let out a sound in protest, "I'm pretty sure your daughter's health matters so much more than our date night. Plus the night isn't over," he added with a smile, confusing you even further.
"What does that mean?" He parted away from you and it quickly made you miss the warmth that his body provided you. "Why don't you go change into something comfortable," he suggested, almost pushing you out of the kitchen.
You weren't opposed to the idea, so you went upstairs to change after checking on your daughter. You found the most comfortable pair of sweatpants and a shirt, and removed your makeup as well.
Walking back downstairs, you saw Max waiting at the bottom of the stairs for you. He had removed his blazer and bow tie, unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt as well.
He held out his hand, waiting for your hand to hold his, and although you were confused, you wouldn't pass up an opportunity to hold his hand.
"It's not much, definitely not up to first date standards but we'll manage," he commented as he led you to the kitchen table where he had prepared two packets of instant noodles.
"I haven't been on a date in forever so anything you do will set my standards." You smiled when you noticed the lit candle.
"Well, then I will raise your standards next time by taking you out on a proper date." He held the chair out for you, waiting for you to sit before rounding the table and sitting down himself.
It took two minutes before Max moved his own chair right next to yours because he didn't want to sit on the opposite side. You chuckled at his antics but it was much appreciated.
"What's on your mind?" he asked once he saw you visibly thinking. You shrugged, "I don't think we should be discussing these thoughts on a first date."
"This is far from what a first date should be like, so there are no rules. I know you want to talk about what happened at the hospital," he prompted and he was spot on, so you agreed.
"I can't believe he actually left Isabella under Emma's supervision. Not that there is anything wrong with her, but it's not her responsibility!" Max nodded in agreement, "where was he?"
"In a fucking meeting," you exasperated, eating another forkful of the noodles. "It must've been very stressful for Emma," you sighed, finishing your short rant because you truly had no words for your ex's irresponsible behaviour.
Still, Max listened to every word. Once you were finished eating, he turned your chair towards him. "We can agree on the fact that he is an incompetent father."
"Yeah, I don't even know what would've happened if Emma wasn't there either. He surely wouldn't have left Bella alone right?"
Max shrugged, "hey, stop worrying about what could've happened. Bella's safe, she's okay." He placed a palm on your cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion.
You nodded, "you're right." Making eye contact with him, you were quickly lost in his gaze. While it almost made you want to look away, you couldn't.
"You know," you started, wanting to divert away from the current topic. He hummed, urging you to go on.
"I don't really care for an extravagant date, all I really need is you. I'm happy with this, with us." He smiled, to the point where you could notice the creases forming at the corners.
"I'm happy with us too, but I will be taking you out on an extravagant date because you deserve it, as well as much more."
You rolled your eyes playfully, knowing that it would be hard to convince Max otherwise, but you could think of a few ways to try when the time comes.
"Thank you for being here with me," you added, needing him to know about your appreciation. Your words also hinted at all the moments he shared with you, and Isabella.
He seemed to understand your hint, "I'm glad to be here with you, both of you."
Taglist: (continuing the taglist in comments) @xjval @mrsmaybank13 @cherry-piee @urfavnoirette @solphin @burningcupcakefire @nessacarty1 @dreamsarebig @omgsuperstarg @fanficweasley @redbullgirly @llando4norris @wonnou @randomgirlnumber13 @dark-night-sky-99 @chanshintien @leilanixx @gisellesprettylies @peachiicherries @monsieurbacteria6 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @arian-directioner @distancedss @morenofilm @sachaa-ff @lighttsoutlewis @teamnovalak @casperlikej @sadg3 @d3kstar @lewisvinga @lpab @queenofmanydreams @glitterf1 @honethatty12 @drunk-teens-doing-drugs @its-avalon-08 @yourbane @oconswrld @noneofyourfbusinessworld @ssrcsm @softtina @hockeyboysarehot @formulaal @namgification @tallrock35 @bloodyymaryyy @formulanni @ellouisa17 @phantomxoxo
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absurdthirst · 7 months ago
Text
Halloween Cowboy {Joel Miller x F!Reader}
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 5.7k
Warnings: Idiots in love, crushing, putting your foot in your mouth, embarrassment, flirtation, Younger Joel, drinking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex
Comments: Tommy and his girlfriend, your best friend, manage to get you and your sexy neighbor Joel at the same Halloween party.
Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers
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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||
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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.
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“Cmon man. You gotta come. Lindsey wants to meet you and I can’t keep makin’ up excuses for my big brother not wanting to meet my girl.” Tommy whines while he stands over Joel who is trying to read the plans for the bathroom redo.
“Tommy. I’m tryin’ - Jesus. Is it really that damn important?” He asks his brother after taking his glasses off of his nose.
“Yeah. Sarah is going to sleep over at her friend Tori’s house, right? You’ll be sitting on your own with the curtains closed to ward off trick or treaters while watching Dawn of the Dead for the hundredth time…you ain’t busy.” Tommy calls Joel out who signs and sets his glasses down on the table.
“Fine. Fine. If it’s that damn important I’ll go but, shit. I don’t have a costume.” He confesses and Tommy smirks, “that’s easy. You’re already wearing it.” He eyes the construction belt and hard hat and Joel scoffs but takes a second, “I got a cowboy hat. And boots.” He decides and Tommy snorts, “rodeo Joel is making an appearance. Haven’t seen that since high school when you were trying to impress Katie.” Joel huffs, trying to not snap at his brother at mentioning his ex wife whose parents owned a ranch.
“Sorry.” Tommy murmurs and Joel shrugs, “I’ll be there.” He promises, picking up his glasses again and Tommy grins, not mentioning the best part until he’s about to walk away. “Oh and your pretty neighbor will be there. Lindsey invited her.”
****
“Why do I have to go again?” You whine to Lindsey even as you are mixing together the cream cheese with the salsa to make roll ups. It’s one of your best appetizers to throw together quickly and are always a hit. She snorts and rolls her eyes at you. “You need to get out and socialize. You need to have some fun since you broke up with dickhead.” She had never hidden the fact that she thought your ex wasn’t good enough for you. Only now would you admit that she’s right, but you still huff at her. “What am I supposed to do? Pick up someone from your party and take them home?”
“Or you could use my guest room?” She waggles her eyebrows, “and I do believe the man you’ll be riding in there will be called Joel.” She smirks and you nearly choke, “no. No. I don’t - he doesn’t -” Lindsey giggles, “Tommy said the man watches your every damn move from his porch. Watches your ass when you walk past. Trust me, honey. The man wants you. He’s just got issues from his ex leaving.” She explains, knowing Tommy has briefly told her about what happened with Katie. “You don’t need to be his therapist to get some.” She says and nudges you.
****
Joel huffs as he looks at himself in the mirror. The checkered shirt is buttoned up unlike its usual openness when he has a t-shirt underneath. The large belt buckle his dad got him as a present was dug out from the back of his underwear drawer, and the boots are comfortable, worn in thankfully from regular use. The hat is on the side and he grabs it, putting it on his head to see how it looks. He looks like teenage Joel and that scares him. How eager he was to impress a girl. Too eager in fact that she left the first moment she could, leaving him with a two month old when he was twenty years old. “Shit.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw, knowing he will see you. He knows he’s jaded, he’s a single dad with issues and he knows you’d never want him. He’s too complicated. With a huff, he grabs the lasso he got from Tommy as a joke a few years ago and leaves his house to go to the party.
“I think real cuffs would have been better.” You huff to yourself, hating how the ties on these Wonder Woman wrist cuffs keep coming loose. The party hasn’t even started yet and you want to just go home. Not that Lindsey would let you. “Tie this for me.” You demand, holding your wrist out. “If I’m going to be Wonder Woman, I need to be a put together, sexy version of her.”
Joel isn't early. He doesn't like to be early to parties since he can't disappear into a crowd and leave early. He sighs after he parks his truck down the street, his boots clicking as he walks up the driveway until he is opening the door. The party is already underway and he squeezes past people drinking and making out and talking to try and find Tommy.
“Coming through, coming through!” You yank the platter of appetizers higher, needing to get over to the table and refill them although people won’t seem to get out of your way. The party is bigger than what Lindsey had told you it would be and she’s already glued to Tommy’s side, leaving you to kind of run things. Someone comes up to your right, just out of your vision as  you veer off to avoid a couple who are groping each other. “Shit!” You hiss, bumping into someone and having to spin around to keep the tray from hitting the ground and ruining the snacks. 
“Woah. Shit.” Joel hisses and barely catches the tray as you spin around and grab the other side. His eyes widen when he sees you, dressed like Wonder Woman with eyes wide and beautiful. “Hey.” He murmurs, keeping his grip on the tray and you offer him a gorgeous smile, “hey neighbor.” Someone knocks into him and he steadies the tray. “Let me help. Tell me where you want this and I’ll make sure no one knocks this over.” He promises, keeping his grip tight.
“Hey.” You smile breathlessly, a little shocked and release the tray to him because of that. “Um, yeah, uh, right over there.” You point to the table in the corner and try to figure out if you need to hide in embarrassment or get the man a drink for helping you out. He looks fucking delicious and Lindsey’s comments about riding him are fucking perfect considering Joel Miller is out here dressed up like a fucking cowboy. Your panties are going to be ruined tonight, thinking about him. 
Joel wrestles with the crowd to set the tray down and he turns to see you’ve followed him. “Who the hell did Tommy and Lindsey invite? The whole damn town?” He almost has to shout to compete with the chatter and the music. “Seems like it. I only made enough food for a small gathering.” You confess and Joel turns to look at the tray, “you did all that?” He asks and you nod, biting your lip. “Goddamn. You’re like Martha Stewart. But hot.” He adds until he flusters and reaches up to adjust his hat. “Uh, I mean, you look good. As Wonder Woman. I had this massive crush on Linda Carter when I was a kid and uh, yeah. You look good.” He repeats, silently cursing himself for being so lame as Sarah would say.
You want to laugh at the way Joel looks ready to punch himself in the face for being stupid, but you like seeing him like this. “Thanks.” You reach out and touch his arm. “You look really hot too. You’re going to be beating them off with a stick dressed like this, Miller.” You predict, knowing you would be the first in line if you had half a chance at him. “We’ll be dreaming of cowboy lullabies tonight.” 
Joel blushes, grateful for the cowboy hat to hide it, and he gets a sudden boost of confidence. “Yeah? You think I’d have a chance with someone at the party? Even though I got more baggage than Bush Airport?” He jokes and you scoff, “everyone has baggage.” He nods, staring at you for a moment and he opens his mouth to ask if you want to find somewhere quieter to talk but a hand slaps his shoulder and he turns to see his brother. “You made it! And dressed up!” Tommy exclaims, clearly a little drunk and his arm wrapped around a beautiful woman. “This is Lindsey. Baby, this is the mysterious big brother I’ve been telling you about.” Lindsey grins and holds her hand out, “it’s great to finally meet you, Joel. Tommy can’t shut up about you.” She teases before she says your name, “and she’s always talking about her sexy neighbor. You’re the talk of the town.” Lindsey teases and Joel’s eyes widen slightly as he looks towards you.
“Lindsey.” You groan your friend’s name, face heating up and you want the earth to open and swallow you whole. “I think you might need to drink some water.” You huff, snatching her cup out of her hand and quickly drinking it down yourself. Hoping that Joel doesn’t think that you are some kind of creepy stalker or some shit. 
Lindsey’s words make his stomach twist and Tommy smirks at him, knowing about his crush on his neighbor, and he squeezes Lindsey’s hand until she lets go and turns to look at Tommy. “Come on baby. Let’s get you another drink. Enjoy the party. See you in a bit. Mingle.” Tommy urges his older brother who has the habit of hiding in the corner. “Sure.” Joel nods and watches Tommy take Lindsey to the kitchen. “I need a drink.” Joel mutters to himself before he looks at you, “you know where the booze is?”
“Yeah,” Despite being embarrassed, you won’t let him go without a drink. “It’s out here.” You point to the patio door. “We’ve got a small pony keg if you want beer and then there’s tequila.” You huff out a laugh. “That’s what I plan on drinking.” You joke as you open the door. “Listen- uh, about what she said? I just- I don’t want you to think that I’m watching you all the time or something.” 
Joel looks at you as he follows you to the drinks table. He was shocked to hear you watch him and you being flustered makes his heart thump. “I’m watching you.” He confesses, “not in a creepy way but - but yeah. I like watching you.” He rubs the back of his neck, suddenly burning up in the flannel shirt.
You freeze for a second as you reach for a cup, relieved and slightly surprised to find out that Tommy and Lindsey were right. Now that you both have admitted embarrassing things, you laugh and shake your head. “I think we are way too sober right now.” You tease and waggle a cup at him. “What’ll you have before we discuss further?”
“Anything with alcohol.” He teases and picks up his own cup, filling it with cheap whiskey and topping it off with some Coke. “Happy Halloween.” He grins and hits your cup with his. “Happy Halloween, neighbor.” You smirk and he takes a sip of his drink, sighing at the sting of the whiskey.
You ask where Sarah is and listen while Joel explains about the sleepover, but you are really admiring the way he fills out that flannel shirt. It’s cut perfectly and makes his broad frame look even broader. You know the man is strong because you’ve seen the tools and materials he has to carry. “So why a cowboy and not a sexy construction worker?” You ask, grinning as the burn of the alcohol starts to fade and the heat runs through your veins.
“That seemed too obvious. Isn’t halloween about pretending to be something you’re not? Tonight, I’m not a single father construction worker. Tonight, I’m a cowboy looking for a hero.” He smirks as he flexes his fingers around the red solo cup.
It takes you a second to realize he’s referring to your wonder woman costume and you grin. “Not all heroes wear capes, Miller.” You remind him playfully and toss back the rest of your drink so you can pour both of you another. “I think you also underestimate how sexy single father construction workers are.” You huff. “But I like the idea of taking a cowboy for a ride.” 
Joel can’t believe how smooth he is being when usually he’s fumbling over his words with you. Maybe the costume has helped him regain some confidence after years of focusing on Sarah and not his love life. “Save a horse, ride a construction worker.” He winks and you giggle, making his heart clench. His eyes drag down your body when you turn and bend over to grab another bottle of tequila from under the drinks table and his cock twitches in his jeans.
You open the new bottle and pour you both a large drink. You don’t want to hang out by the booze all night, although it’s been pretty quiet right now. Soon enough there will be people charging out here to refill their own cups. “So are you ready to let your hair down?” You ask. 
Joel snorts, “I don’t think I’ve ever done that. Well, not since Sarah was born.” He confesses, glancing around at the sofa and he jerks his chin, “you wanna sit down?” He asks, his back starting to ache from the long work day and he’s anxious to get closer to you.
“Sure.” You point to the back yard. “Want to sit out there, or go upstairs?” You ask. “We can’t sit down in the living room with all those bodies in there.” It’s a subtle way to get him upstairs if you think that this could actually go somewhere, which it is looking like it might. 
“Let’s go upstairs. I’m too fucking old for this music.” He confesses with a chuckle and you nod, taking his hand to escort him upstairs. You’ve been to Tommy’s house a few times with Lindsey to get ready for nights out. Joel hopes his hand isn’t sweaty in yours and he lets you guide him away from the crowd to the quiet guest room. The bass from the music thumps below his feet as he sits down on the edge of the bed.
“You know you are a good dad, right?” You ask, wondering if he knows just how sexy him being a very involved dad is to you. “You care about Sarah, you listen to her.” You smirk. “Even if you don’t always know what you are doing.” 
He snorts, looking down at the drink in his hand, “I definitely don’t always know what I’m doing. I could handle Barbie dolls and hair bobbles but periods? Boys? It’s a little out of my league.” He admits, turning to look at you as you sit down beside him. You’re so beautiful, so understanding. You deserve way better than someone like him yet here you are. “Thanks for saying that though. She likes you. Loves your style and watching those stupid MTV shows with you.”
“She’s a good kid. Because of you.” You smile softly. “And you didn’t even use her to get laid.” You tease. “Do you know that women love a good dad? Our panties drop quick for a man who loves his children.”
Joel raises his eyebrows, “really?” He asks and you nod, giggling in a way that makes his cock twitch, already half hard in his jeans. You smile and he can’t help but lean in closer to you. “You gonna drop your panties for me, sweetheart?” He asks, his voice dropping lower for you.
“Fuck, that sounded so hot.” You whimper, biting your lip as your eyes slide down to his. You want to kiss him, but you aren’t brave enough yet. “I can’t.” You admit. “I’m not wearing any tonight.” You take his cup and yours and set it down on the nightstand as you talk. 
“Shit.” Joel hisses, his eyes widening slightly and he can’t stop himself even if he tried. He surges forward to press his lips to yours. His hat pushed back on his head as he cups your cheek and he pulls back after a second when you don’t respond and he frowns, wondering if he misread this.
You are frozen. Shocked that Joel, your sexy neighbor, is kissing you. When he pulls back, you see him frown, reaching out and cupping his face so you can lean in to kiss him yourself.
He quickly recovers and melts into the kiss, his hand cupping your neck to pull you closer and he gains confidence, sliding his tongue along your lower lip, pushing into your mouth when you grant him access.
Your breath catches and you groan into his mouth. Still in disbelief that Joel is kissing you. Hes a good kisser. His tongue slides along your, tangles with it and encourages you to kiss him back. Your stomach twists in knots and you lean into the kiss more, malting into him.
He loves the way you kiss him back just as eagerly and he slides his hand along your thigh, groaning at the feel of your skin under his palm. You’re so soft and he loves it. He’s imagined it more times than he’d care to admit.
You hadn’t worn any tights with your outfit. Not wanting to feel trapped or have another layer to take off another layer when you’ve been drinking. His hands on your skin feels amazing and you shift, moving to straddle him and you giggle into his mouth.
He groans when you straddle him, his hands immediately finding your ass to squeeze the flesh. So many times he’s imagined your ass when you’ve been outside in your shorts or leggings and now he gets to touch you. “Fuck.” He pants into your mouth, his cock hardening underneath you.
“We will get to that.” You promise, pulling away to press your lips to his jaw. Always wanting to kiss his neck for forever. It’s so kissable. “Imagined it so many times.”
Joel groans, tilting his head, and he slides his hand up to squeeze your breast. “Me too. So many damn times. Imagined you under me, over me. Being inside you. Jerked off enough damn times.” He reveals as you grind down onto him.
You moan softly, imagining him with his cock in his hand, panting your name. “I want to see that sometime.” You admit breathlessly. “Watch you jerk off.”
"Fuck. One day." He promises, grabbing your ass to lift you so he can spin and lay you down on the bed. "Look goddamn sexy in your costume." He groans, caressing your calf. "Tell me what you want, baby." He demands, reaching for the zipper of your boot.
“Want to ride you.” You decide. “Keep your cowboy hat and boots on.” You smirk and wink. “Want to see if you live up to the expectations I’ve built up seeing you wear that costume.”
He smirks, “I hope I can. It’s been a while.” He confesses as he reaches up to start unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his chest to your hungry gaze.
You reach up and caress his chest. “That doesn’t matter.” You promise. “I just want to feel you inside me.” He peels your boots off and reaches for your bottom. “I’m going to strip you down.” He promises and you nod. “Do it.”
He peels the costume from your body, his cock aching in his jeans at each inch that’s exposed to his hungry gaze, and he has to reach down to undo the buckle, opening his pants to allow himself some relief from the hard press of the zipper. “Shit. You’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, caressing your stomach until he’s reaching for the hem of the top, dragging it from your body to expose your tits. “Goddamn beautiful.” He murmurs when he tosses the top aside and dives down to take your nipple into his mouth as he kneels on the bed.
Your cry is loud but you know that no one in the party can hear you. The music is still thumping and you can hear the chattering. Not that you care, all you care about is him. His mouth feels so good on your nipple it hurts, making you whine when he flicks his tongue over it after biting down. “Joel.” You pant, tangling your fingers into his hair.
He loves hearing your moan and he bites down on the bud, lapping at it with his tongue, before he switches to the other one. His thumb and forefinger pinching your hardened nipple that’s slick with his spit.
You’ve never had someone spend so much time on your tits. Not without being inside you. You enjoy the attention, every pull of his mouth and pinch of your nipple makes your cunt throb around nothing and you are positively dripping.
His free hand slides up your inner thigh, caressing the skin there and he slides his touch higher so he can slide his fingers through your folds. “Fuck. You’re so wet.” He murmurs against your breast.
“So turned on.” You confess. You moan his name again when he continues to slowly stroke through your folds, fingers brushing against your clit. “Fuck baby.”
He groans, “me too. So fucking hard right now.” He confesses as he presses his fingers against your clit, wanting to hear you moan for him again.
You groan, reaching down and cupping him through his jeans. “Fuck.” You gasp, knowing that he will stretch you out when you feel how thick he is. “So hard.”
“Shit.” He hisses when you squeeze him and he slides his hand lower so he can push two thick digits into your weeping cunt, wanting to hear you gasp again. “Take me out.” He pleads, kissing your jaw, “need to feel your hand around him.”
You fumble with his zipper blindly, eager to feel the heft in your hand, to feel how soft and hard he is. Joel pulls his hips back to give you more room and you both groan in unison when he comes free from his underwear and lands into your palm.
He groans when you finally grip him in your soft palm, loving the way you squeeze him, and he’s so hard. He’s aching for you and his fingers work in and out of you, desperate to hear you cry out his name.
Your eyes slide closed, twisting your wrist to pump his cock as much as you can while his fingers destroy you. They are just as thick and wonderful as you imagined. Rough, his hands are calloused and imperfect from the manual labor of his job, scrubbing perfectly inside your walls to make you choke out his name every time he curls them deep.
Your choked version of his name has him groaning yours as you try to pump his cock in your soft hand. He twists his wrist, pressing his thumb to your clit to hear the sweet cry of your orgasm. He desperately wants it. His lips find yours again and he slides his tongue into your mouth, wanting to devour you.
Your hips roll up, eager to have him push his fingers deep every time he pulls them back. You feel that lovely tension curling in your stomach and you want more, crave it. He is just as overwhelming as you had imagined. Completely taking control and showing a confidence that is undeniably sexy.
Your walls flutter and clamp down on his fingers, making him grin against your chin, and he desperately wants you to fall apart for him. “Cum for me, baby.” He murmurs, nipping your jaw as he curls his fingers and presses his thumb against your clit.
It takes a few more pumps of his fingers before you are flying. Your walls lock down around his fingers and soak him with a wave of hot liquid juice that just continues to come in wave after wave while he continues to curl his fingers deep. Crying out his name loudly, nearly a sob and you shake under him.
“Holy fuck.” He groans when you grip his fingers in your walls and he loves how hot and wet you get. He can’t wait to feel that around his cock. “That’s it, baby. Such a good girl for me.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck as he works you through it.
You whimper, knowing that he could call you a good girl for the rest of your life and it would still make your stomach curl in pleasure. Your legs feel like jello when he finally pulls his fingers free and kisses your lips. “Fuck, Miller.” You pant. “Get on your back.”
He grunts as he shifts to lay against the pillows, pupils blown wide as he watches you while you shift to your wobbly knees. "So fucking gorgeous." He murmurs, his gaze dropping to your tits and he can't help reaching down to squeeze his hard cock.
You bite your lip when your thighs are straddling him, immediately moving and grinding down on his cock as soon as he moves his hand. Grinning when he moans your name and swivel your hips again. “Put your hat back on, cowboy.” You tease, leaning down and kissing him passionately.
He fumbles blindly to grab his hat from the nightstand and he puts it on while his tongue tangles with yours while you grind down onto him. “Shit. Co-condom?” He rasps, knowing it’s been forever and a day since he’s had sex but he wants you to be comfortable.
“Fuck.” You don’t have one, but you think you will cry if you have to stop right now. “I don’t- I’m clean.” You mumble against his lips, pulling back to look into his eyes. “I’m on birth control.”
“I’m clean and I - I trust you.” He promises, knowing he shouldn’t take the chance after Katie left him high and dry but he’s aching and he knows you wouldn’t lie to him. “Take what you want, baby.” He demands, his hands finding your ass to squeeze before he playfully slaps your cheeks, “ride a cowboy.”
You moan, reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock as you lift up to move him into position. “Gonna ride you ‘til you pass out.” You tease, winking at him right before you start to impale yourself on his length with a loud moan.
When you start to sink down onto his cock, he hisses and his fingers dig into your ass, exhaling through his nose to control himself as he watches your facial expressions while he stretches you out. “Feel good?” He smirks, voice heavy with lust as he slides one hand up to squeeze your breast.
“Yes, fuck.” Your eyes close and you clench down around him. “You’re so much thicker than my ex.” You admit breathlessly, not even thinking that he might not want to be reminded that you had just broken up with someone.
He chuckles, pinching your nipple. "Good, gonna make sure you don't remember his fucking name after tonight." He promises and kisses along your jaw, "want you to scream my name only."
“What ex?” You joke, groaning when he nibbles on your ear. “Fuck, Joel.” You sit up, bracing your hands on his chest and look down on him. He looks sexy under you. “You have a great cock.” You praise, starting to bounce on it. “I’m going cum all over it.”
Your words make him twitch inside you and he slaps your tit, wanting you to squeal. You start to rock on top of him and the sight is gorgeous but he reaches for the hat on his head. He takes it off and places it on your head. “Sexy as fuck.” He murmurs, watching you as your tits move.
You giggle as you ride him, leaning over to press against his chest and bounce harder. He feels incredible inside you, his cock punching deep enough to feel like he’s in your throat and you start to rock harder on him. “Fuck, fuck Joel!”
“That’s it, baby. Shit. Take what you want. God, you look so gorgeous ridin’ my cock.” He coos as his dark eyes trail down to watch where his cock disappears inside of you.
He doesn’t have the exaggerated drawl of a cowboy, but that gravely, raspy pitch to his voice makes your cunt clench around him as he praises you. Loving how he seems to be obsessed with you moving on top of him. Those hands caress you from your tits to your thighs.
Your moans make him twitch inside you and he digs his heels into the mattress, unable to stop himself from thrusting up into you with a groan. “You gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, his hands sliding up to pinch your nipples and twist them slightly.
“Yessssss.” You hiss, clenching down around him and circling your hips. “Your fucking cock is so deep inside me.” You moan. “You’re in my throat. How the fuck did no one want to ride this cock every night?”
Joel doesn’t mention his ex at this moment but he’s been hesitant to get involved with anyone since she left him with a baby and walked out the door. It’s been hard and he’s finally taking time for himself. He’s going to let you take what you want from him. “Wanna see you cum again.” He rasps, groaning when you clench around him, getting closer.
“I will.” You moan, bouncing on his cock faster and gasping out when he pushes against a perfect spot deep inside you. “God I want to cum all over you.”
"Do it." He pleads, his jaw clenched as he tries to focus on not cumming before you. It's been too long since all he had was his hand. He groans and slides his hand between you, finding your clit to rub, needing you to fall apart for him.
That little nudge of his fingers is all you need. Crying out his name so loud it’s almost a scream you shake apart on top of him, clenching down on his cock and creaming all over it as your hips stutter and you collapse against his chest to press your lips to his breathlessly.
He pulls his hand from between you, his arms wrapping around you and he is desperate to cum. He thrusts up into you, hissing at the way you clench around him. So tight he can barely thrust up into you, and he groans as he pushes deep and finally lets go. He paints your walls with his hot cum, a pant of your name escapes his lips as the breath is knocked from him.
You pant as he relaxes underneath you. Both of you are trying to catch your breath. “Wow.” His cowboy hat is pushed back, falling off your back and you start to giggle in pleasure. Amazed at how good that was. “Good ride, cowboy.”
He chuckles, heart pounding in his chest as he caresses your back, “fuck, my fantasies didn’t do you justice. You are incredible.” He murmurs, kissing your shoulder and up your neck.
You hum in agreement. He cock is softening inside you but you don’t even have the strength to move off of him. “Much better than getting drunk downstairs.”
Joel smiles, “absolutely. I, uh, wouldn’t mind doing it again. And again.” He confesses with a softness to his voice as he caresses you. “I’ve wanted you for a while. Do you, maybe, uh, wanna go out sometime?” He asks, wanting you to know this isn’t just a quick fuck at a party.
“Of course I do.” You smirk, pulling back and giving him a small wink. “How else will I be able to ride this construction cowboy anytime I want?” You joke, happy that Lindsey had convinced you to come to this party tonight. This was much better than eating too much candy on your sofa all alone. “Although next time, I want to see that fucking tool belt on your hips. Do you know how sexy that is?”
Joel actually blushes and he shakes his head, "I didn't know. Tool belt...I can make that happen." He promises and leans in to kiss you again. You groan after you pull back, shifting off of him and he reaches down to tuck his soft cock away. "I know I come as a package deal but Sarah loves you. She thinks you are cool as shit. She will be part of the deal if we - you know?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I know that.” You promise him. “Never would have thought any different. Sarah is your world. I respect that. She is the first priority in your life, like she should be. I would just like to spend some time with you, and her. I want to see where this could go.” You smile. “It’s not like we live far apart.” You remind him, knowing that it would be a good thing to be so close, unless things don’t work out.
Joel nods, “yeah. Yeah. I just - not everyone wants a single dad.” He admits and you reach out to caress his cheek, “a hot single dad. One I want to fuck.” You giggle and Joel blushes again, “I can definitely arrange that. You want another drink? Some snacks?” He offers, knowing he won’t want to leave the guest room for quite some time. You nod and he shifts off the bed, adjusting his jeans and he puts his shirt back on. He grabs his hat and places it on his head, a wink towards you as he opens the door, “I’ll be right back.” He promises and steps out of the guest room. Making his way downstairs barefoot, he passes couples and friends until he sees Tommy who asks where you are. “She’s upstairs.” Joel confesses, biting his lip, and Tommy smacks him on the shoulder. 
“Fucking finally, man. Good for you. You two make a cute couple. Don’t fuck it up.” Tommy raises his eyebrows and Joel nods, “only thing that’s gonna fuck this up is a goddamn zombie apocalypse.” He jokes and Tommy snorts, “you deserve to be happy, man.” Joel thanks him, grabbing the food and drinks to make his way back upstairs. He’s excited for the future. A future with you.
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mellowyellow236 · 8 months ago
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The TWST boys write letters to Yuu/The Prefect!
All of them except for Ortho+Checka are meant to be interpreted as romantic, but many can be interpreted as platonic as well. The reader is gender-neutral, but more feminine adjectives will be used when referring to them. Characters will probably be a bit OOC.
Minor spoilers for their respective books in each section, but I try to keep it as spoiler-free as I can, except for who overbloted. If anyone has any questions or comments, please leave an ask or comment :) All are under the cut.
NRC:
Heartslabyul:  
Riddle Rosehearts - 
My dearest rose, 
You are the loveliest person I have ever known. It is a miracle that you chose to get to know me, and even more so after I hurt you and your friends so deeply. I have made many mistakes, but you, my rose, look past them. I understand that you may choose to go home one day, but even so... 
Please just give me a moment of your time, a fraction of your thoughts, and I’ll be satisfied. Any inch of you that I can get, I want, even if you still believe me a tyrant. If it pleased you- No, if it only made you look my way, I would gladly break any rule of the queen’s or my mother’s. Understand that, my rose, and I am sure you’ll know what remains unsaid in this letter. 
Yours Truly, 
Riddle Rosehearts 
Trey Clover - 
Prefect, 
Hello. I wanted to thank you, first and foremost, for helping out Heartslabyul so much. You’ve been a very good influence on Ace and Duece, and it’s nice to see Cater open up to someone. Not to mention, Riddle’s been improving every day. I can’t even describe how much you’ve helped me... I just hope you know that I’ll always be grateful for what you’ve done. You’re welcome at Heartsabyul at any time. I have some donuts waiting for you if you want. 
From, 
Trey. 
Cater Diamond - 
Prefect, 
Heyyy! Whatcha doing right now? I’m sooooo happy that you came to NRC even if, like, all of the housewarden’s tried to ratio you. I do not subscribe to that, BTW. #NotCool, #Yikes-A-Tron. But,  like... On a more serious note, I am happy that I got to know you. It’s nice to have someone I can just be myself around. No drama, no expectations, just... Yeah. I know that you’re gonna leave at some point, and it’s almost a relief. You’re honest about it, which is something that many can’t say. 
Ugh, that was probs TMI! I’m not trying to trauma dump here, oops. There’s this cute cafe that opened up downtown, totally Magicam-worthy. You wanna meet up there sometime? 
- Cay-cay ♦️  
Ace Trapolla - 
Prefect!! 
I need your help! So, Trein’s got this super hard test coming up on Friday- Like, Riddle-got-a-99-last-year level of hard. Yeah, that’s without the extra credit, but STILL! That’s failure to the tyrant! So, you’ve got to come over to Heartslabyul right now and help me study. Pleaseeeee!!!! I’ll owe you one! 
Oh, and don’t bring Grim. Deuce’s also got plans, there’s no need to ask him. You know, in case that matters to you. 
See ya, 
Ace 
Deuce Spade - 
Dear Prefect, 
Hello, how are you doing? Can you believe that it’s already been so long since we became friends? When we broke that chandelier, I was ready to never talk to you again... But now look at us! I’m on my way to becoming an honor student, and you’re working on finding your way home! I’m happy that you’re going to be able to go soon, I know how bad it feels not to be able to see your family (and probably friends in your case) after so long away, but also sad that you’ll be leaving us. 
I’ve got it! Let’s get your ghost camera, and we’ll take lots of photos of us all over campus! Two of each, so that way no matter what, both of us will always remember what we went through together. That sounds like a good idea, right? 
From, 
Duece 
Savanaclaw: 
Leona Kingscholar - 
Herbivore, 
Hey. You’re an idiot, you know that? You’re stupid and impulsive and don’t know when to quit or give up. That’s why you keep looking for me in the botanical gardens, right? You just don’t know when to stop. I’m sure that you’ll realize I’m not worth your effort soon enough. But until then, you have to come to see me more often. You’re my pillow, I don’t get good enough sleep if you’re not there. 
I’m in the usual place. Get over here as soon as possible. 
- Leona 
Ruggie Bucchi - 
Hiya, Prefect... 
I’ve been thinking, and you should let me come over to Ramshackle and fix the place up for you. No upfront cost, of course, but... I want the right to use the kitchen as I please, whenever I please. 
Why, you’re asking? Shishishi... Not telling. You’ve just got to trust me on this, I’ll make it worth your while. Then again, maybe I’ll just blow the kitchen up and you’ll have to live at Savanclaw again! That’d be fun, huh? 
If you don’t want me to, ya better give up your kitchen for a little while! I’ll get that microwave up and running again in no time.
- Ruggie 
Jack Howl - 
Dear Prefect, 
Hello, have you been feeling alright? I’ve noticed that Crowley isn’t the best provider of food. While on my morning runs, I’ve noticed Grim loudly talking about how he doesn’t have enough tuna. He does it pretty often. So, I’ve thought of a solution; You could try eating breakfast with me. I always get big portions, so you could have some. If you want, I could even try lifting you and carrying you places. I need to get better strength training anyway, and then you’ll have a buddy to get stronger with. It’s always better to have a friend with you. 
From, 
Jack 
Octavinelle: 
Azul Ashengrotto - 
My Pearl, 
Allow me to start this letter by saying that you are truly the crown jewel of my riches and that none can replace your beauty. You are the loveliest, most perfect little pearl, and I adore you with my whole heart. And yet, I cannot seem to convince myself that you feel the same. You say you do, and even if it is a crime to believe your lips hold lies, I cannot believe that to be true. If it was, why? Not just why you would tell me- A scheming man who has hurt you and your friends- that I hold the keys to your heart, but why you would choose what I hold underneath. I’m no good for you in terms of personality or how I look, and yet... You still hold me dear. And for that alone, I want to take you to the Coral Sea where my home lies, but not for a deal this time. Just... Because I want you and my mother in the same place. The two most important people to me meeting... That’s the best thing I can think of, to be honest. 
With Love, 
Azul Ashengrotto 
Jade Leech - 
Dearest Prefect, 
It has come to my attention that you haven’t had a chance to enjoy a proper mushroom dish since arriving in Twisted Wonderland. Now, that will not do for much longer. This letter should contain a box with three containers worth of mushroom dishes. You are to eat them and write back to me with what you thought of each of them. In return, I shall continue to provide you with free food. 
Do be warned, however, that they should all be eaten as fast as possible once you get them in case my brother chooses to throw them out. Also, so that way Grim cannot eat them. I would not recommend it for a cat.
Kind Regards, 
Jade Leech 
Floyd Leech - 
Shrimpy!!!!!! 
You and me. In the courtyard. Now. 
I’m going to squeeze you. 
🐬°˖𓍢✨໋ 🐋✧°.🐟⋆ 
🦐🥢🥢🥢🥢🧨 
I’ll see you later if you want me to or not. 
- Floyd <3333333 
Scarabia: 
Kalim Al-Asim - 
Hello!!!!
I love you!!! I love you, I love you, I love you! You’re the most wonderful person in this school, and you’ve done so much for both me and Jamil! It would be silly for me not to love you. I love how your hair looked in the wind when we went on that carpet ride, I love how you looked in the school’s uniform and how you looked when you tried on my dorms, and I love how you look no matter how you dress because you’re a beautiful person inside and out! I love you, and nothing can change that! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .��.ᐟ 
Hugs and kisses, 
Kalim Al-Asim 
P.S. Let’s go on another magic carpet ride soon, okay? I want to show you how pretty the moon looks when it’s full and you’re flying!
Jamil Viper - 
Dear Prefect,
Thank you for saving me when I overblotted. I am aware that what I did was wrong, and I apologize. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Either way, I feel as though I must do something more for you to show you that. Please come to Scarabia tonight. I will make you a special dinner if you do. Please, don’t tell Kalim. I want... something special, for the two of us this time. 
See you later, 
Jamil Viper
Pomefiore: 
Vil Schoenheit - 
My Dearest Potato, 
I regret to inform you that you have bewitched me. So much so that I willingly took on a role as a villain in this next movie. The villain falls in love with the hero’s love interest, and then, in a “shocking” turn of events, she chooses the villain to stand by. Of course, they’re both defeated, the hero gets with his childhood friend in some lesson of how love will always be waiting for you, whatever. But I still chose it, even if Neige plays the hero. 
I finally have a love interest, and they remind me of you. You could have stood by his side, you know. You should have. I poisoned him; That action speaks for itself. And yet, you decided to stay with me. Just like how that villain in this story gets the girl the hero originally wanted. 
I’ve won your heart as well, haven’t I? 
Sincerely, 
Vil Schoenheit 
Rook Hunt - 
Trickster, 
Bonjour, mon amour! I could not resist sending you another letter. You see my darling, I long for you like I long for the sunset on a hot day, for an oasis in a desert, for a hint of rain during the dry season, for the sun during the days when it pours. I'd imagine you'd taste like the rain as well, Trickster, and if given the chance, I'd taste again and again, in an attempt to satiate more than just my curiosity. 
Oh, Trickster, have you any idea how you’ve bewitched me? Why, just the sight of you is enough to send me spiraling, wishing for the smallest fraction of a chance that my affections are shared. How cruel is fate, to deny me the right to live and die within your arms? La petite mort would be heaven if it was with you, but death would truly come for me if it wasn’t. 
Je t'aime de tout mon coeur, 
Le Chasseur D'Armour 
Epel Felmeir - 
Prefect, 
I need some help. I found out that milk can make ya grow stronger, and also help you get taller. However, Vil has banned me from drinking it because I drank a carton in two days. Something about it raising my cholesterol or making me break out, I don’t care. So, I need to keep it at Ramshackle. That’s okay with you, right? Well, I sure hope it is, cause it’s getting in there if ya want it to or not! I’ll see ya soon, just make sure it’s in the fridge. I’ll get ya some of my family’s apple juice in return, it’ll be good. I reckon ya liked it last time. 
Epel 
Ignihyde: 
Idia Shroud - 
Prefect, 
Get to my room, and fast. There’s an event taking place, and I need a player two. This one requires another person to be in the same room, so I can’t ask any of my mutuals, and you’re the only one I trust with this. I can’t ask Ortho either, don’t ask why. 
Also I recently got pink lights in my room like those normies. That’s why everything looks kind of pink, it’s not my hair. Just in case you were wondering if I was embarrassed or whatever, you’re wrong. Just get over here ASAP, no time to waste. 
- Gloomurai 
Ortho Shroud - 
Hello, how are you? ( ˵ •̀ ᴗ •́˵) I am very happy to get a chance to talk with you. I have recently learned how to type out these little faces called ‘kaomoji’ that my big brother loves. Here are some of my favorites: 
♡✧( •⌄• ) 
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 
•ω• 
ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ - This one is a cat! 
I would like to share more with you. Please come to Ignihyde so I can teach you how to get them on your phone as well. I can provide free updates while you’re here if needed. (✿˶◕‿◕˶人◕ᴗ◕✿) 
Date: XX/XX/XXXX 
Return Email: [email protected] 
Diasomnia: 
Malleus Dracona - 
My Dearest Child Of Man, 
If Longing was painful, how much farther would I have to fall to crash and burn at your feet? The only answer I can give is that I already would have. I would build monuments in your name and would offer you the world and more if only you would say you loved me back. 
Could this be considered love? Could these feelings I hold deep within my heart, only to divulge in the darkest hours of the night with none but the stars and you to bear witness to my passion, be a form of love? Or is this simply my yearning, a longing for your heart, and wanting to have someone to call my own? 
The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one I wanted next. How I wish I could scream your name from the rooftop, and raise my voice in song only to sing your praises. You have the face of an angel, and I am sure that you must have the mind of one as well, for even if the voices in your head remind you of nothing more than pain and suffering, they have still been able to mold you into the perfection you are today. But maybe you have devils as well, trying to smite you as you sleep, but just as I do all of your angels, I will pick them up and kiss their heads if they are a part of someone I care for so much. You are perfection, Child of Man, and this dragon wishes only to live with the crumbs of affection as my treasures. 
Yours Until The End Of Eternity, 
Prince Malleus Dracona Of Briar Valley Hornton 
Lilia Vanrouge - (Okay so for Lilia I could have SWORN that he calls the prefect ‘Beastie,’ but I can find that nowhere. Literally at all, no one seems to have used it for him, but I know that I’ve seen at least one person do it. I now think that it’s a headcanon thing but I’m not sure, if anyone knows who did this or if it’s canon, please tell me. I’ve been searching for far too long and I am in too deep.)
Beastie, 
Hello, my darling~! I have an easy-peasy little request for you, m’kay? You just need to travel over to Diasomnia, and then... I’ll make you a meal! Malleus has been out trying to find this one gargoyle on campus all day since I brought up wanting to learn a new recipe, and Sebek and Silver both ran off earlier to go help him. I don’t know how to tell them that the gargoyle they’re looking for definitely isn’t at Night Raven College. Raising kids is quite hard, especially when things like this come up... 
But you’ll be there for me, won’t you, Beastie? Pretty please? I’ll see you tonight if you want to, a little date if you feel up to it. Mwah! 
xoxo, 
Lilia 
Silver “Vanrouge” - 
Dear Prefect, 
I had the most wonderful dream. I think I did, at least. I can’t remember it, but I remember how familiar these eyes were, and I knew it was you as soon as I awoke. And I know it's true, that dreams are seldom what they seem... But if I know how you are, then I know what you'll do; You'll look at me the same way you did once upon inside my dreams. And tell me all about the animals that you found with me when I awoke. What I wouldn’t give to hear you tell me about every birdie that comes to me; I’d be willing to fall asleep in the forest every day if only to hear you cooing to the birds when I come to. I wonder if each little bird has someone to sing sweet things to, a little love melody like what I long to play for you one day. Well, either way, I’m growing sleepy now. The effects of my curse will soon be on me once more. I’ll see you either later today or tomorrow, depending on how long I’m asleep. If you need me or simply wish to keep me company, I’m currently resting in the woods. 
Best Wishes, 
Silver 
Sebek Zigvolt - 
HUMAN! 
I have something to show you; A new notebook to be filled, gifted to me by Master Lilia. He said that it is a ‘scrapbook’, which humans fill up with pictures and drawings of themselves and their friends. To fulfill the purpose of this illustrious gift, you must come to Diasomnia at once! You shall be the first of the first years to be added, along with Silver. Prepare enough of those photographs you have to fill half of the book. The other shall be dedicated to Wakasama! 
Sincerely, 
Sebek Zigvolt  
RSA+NBC: 
Che’nya - 
Prefect... 
When are you going to visit RSA, huh? It would be purrr-fect to get a chance to see you again. You’re quite the pretty purr-son, dontcha think? Or maybe I’ll just drop by at the next unbirthday party... Riddle and Trey would like that, but I wonder what you’d think. Hum-hum-hummm... 
Kitty Kisses, 
Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker <3 
Neige Leblanche - (The Reader is called NRC’s ‘princess’ in this one, but not called a woman or anything)
My Dearest, 
Hello! How are you fairing? Have you been doing okay since the VDC? I know that you looked pretty shaken up back then, so I wanted to make sure that you’ve been okay. After all, you’re NRC’s princess! As far as I can tell, anyway. I’m happy that there’s someone around Vil like you, he always looked like he needed a good cheering up. And you’re like a fairytale! Such pretty hair and eyes and skin; Oh, I’d ride away with you on a white horse if I could! 
Ah, that’s odd to say to someone I don’t know very well, isn’t it? I’m sorry, that’s my fault. You still want to be friends, right? If you do, please come visit me at some point. Or, just send me a letter back. I’ll make sure that you get priority over any fan letter. 
Love, 
Neige Leblanche 
Rollo Flamme -
Mon Amour, 
There are times I wish I could tear you down and take you apart only to sew you back together. Rip you to shreds only to tenderly put each piece back where it should be. Drink from you until there's nothing left and then fill you up with all of the love I could offer, make you mine and mine alone. Those greedy thoughts shouldn't even make their way onto this paper, shouldn’t even be in my head, and yet here I am, penning them in a letter never to be sent. 
I truly wish you never see these letters, for I'd hate to be the reason your face turns to disgust, even if for a moment. Of course, I don't regret writing them. You will never read them, after all, but I believe I should get my thoughts out like this rather than bottle them up, lest I do something stupid and let you see them. I pray that you will never have to see me in a state like how I write to you, over my bedside table in the dead of night, eyes barely open and breath still recovering from dreams of a sweeter pleasure than I should sully your name with. 
I mention those dreams I have of you a lot, it seems, although I mean it in the most innocent way possible. Ever since I met you, you've infested my dreams and wormed your way into my heart like a parasite I can't rid myself of. My dreams are all of the sweet moments I have longed for and never gotten. I only have eyes for you, after all, and a saint may never lie with a sinner, lest they become one as well. 
Bonus: 
Checka Kingscholar - 
To Perfect, 
Hello! I am Checka Kingscholar. I am fiv years old. I like my unca. I like my dad and I love my mom. I love you! Goodbye! •ᴗ•
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count-on-mi · 2 months ago
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Twice Interactive Story Part 21 Queen (Sana, Tzuyu, Feat. Momo)
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'Just remember you are going to fuck me, not Dahyun tomorrow, ok?' Sana gets up from your lap.
'Would you mind help me to dress up, boss?' Sana put her panties on the ground in your pocket.
'And I suggest you should talk with Mina too, maybe apologize? I don't know. She is really down today.'
"Yeah, I'll talk to her." I say as I help Sana.
Sana's face turns red as you playing her body while help her dressing. 'Can't you wait for tomorrow, huh?' Sana winks at you.
There's someone knocking on the door and she comes in before you answer, it's Tzuyu again.
'Seems I always come at the wrong time, is it part of my responsibility to serve you after I join the team?' Tzuyu sits on the sofa and watch your hands running through Sana's body.
"Only if you want it to be otherwise I'll keep my hands off you." I spank Sana as a sign for her to leave. "Was there something you wanted to talk about Tzuyu?"
Sana does not leave, instead she sits on your lap again and watch the conversation of you and Tzuyu.
'Really, but so far I see both of your subordinates are having relationships with you, is this the reason why you not get me in your team?' Tzuyu smirks
'I come for the deal, I wanna know when you will get me in, the deal should be honored.'
"I know and I'm working on something. The only problem is that your boss wants someone in return and I'm not willing to hand over Mina. So I'm trying to think of something else."
'Not willing to hand over Mina, cause she can only fucked by you huh?' Tzuyu keeps her unemotional face.
'Would you mind telling me what you are working tho? I need some guarantees.'
"That’s understandable. Sana here had mentioned previously she would be willing to be traded so that might be the only option. I doubt your boss would be willing to take any other team member."
'So you are not giving up Mina, but you will let Sana go? Is it mean Mina is more important?' Tzuyu smiles playfully.
Sana turns her head around, pretending she doesn't care. 'It's ok, I would like to try different men's cock, so...'
"I treasure both of them, the difference is I know Sana can take care of herself. She's a strong and beautiful woman. Mina would be put in more danger." I respond
'Boss...' Sana is touched by your response, she grabs you for a kiss.
'Tzuyu is watching, Sana.' You break the kiss and try to stop her.
'She already knows, what are you afraid of?' Sana ignores you and kisses you again.
'Umm.' You two end the kiss only after hearing Tzuyu makes some noise to let you know she is still here.
'Don't miss me, boss. I believe that old man's cock wouldn't be good as you.' Sana smirks
'Yes, his cock is just useless...' Tzuyu finds she is talking something inappropriate 'Sorry, I am not meaning that.'
I let out a laugh, "You're free to speak your mind Tzuyu, but yes that is the plan. I'll go and speak to your boss early next week."
'If that old man is useless, I bet Y/N must can satisfy you then.' Sana looks at Tzuyu playfully.
'No, I am not meaning that. I did not let him fuck me...' Tzuyu blushes and whispers
'I guess Tzuyu can replace me to serve boss while I am not here, right?' Sana stands up and walking to Tzuyu.
'Why don't you show us how you would serve the old man at usual.' Sana grabs her jaw and force Tzuyu to look at her.
"Sana, let her go. We're not going to force her into anything."
'Did anyone forced you, Tzuyu?' Sana asks.
'No, no one forced me, even that old man, is me seduced him in the interview.' Tzuyu's face is still red.
"Haha, good job using your skills Tzuyu. Is that all you came for, though? To make sure I held up my part?"
'Yes, I guess that's all I am coming for. But do you need me to show how can I work for you?' Tzuyu smirks and assault Sana's tits suddenly.
'Ah!' Sana moans as Tzuyu catches her tits.
"That's completely up to you Tzuyu. If you choose to, do it quickly." I respond while watching Sana and Tzuyu.
'Why we should go quick, you can enjoy it slowly.' Tzuyu releases Sana and start walking to you.
'So beautiful.' You talk to yourself, Tzuyu seems to be another person when she is seducing other man, you finally understand why that old man would fall into Tzuyu's temptation so easily, she is really a Helen of Troy. You already throw Dahyun out of your mind.
The sound of her high heels knocking on your heart, you like a wood that could not react until she is sitting on your lap, she grabs your hands and puts on her exposed thigh, slowly rubbing it. 'Welcome to Thighwan.' Tzuyu whispers in your ear.
I can't help but laugh, "I'm sorry but that's just too funny." I squeeze her thighs gently, "you have great thighs but that pun was just so unnecessary."
Tzuyu ignores you and keeps guiding your hands to rub her thigh. Your cock is erecting without her touch, the mood is so horny around Tzuyu. You start to breathe heavier as she continue to tease you.
You are surprised that how good is Tzuyu in seducing men, your lust slowly taking over you, you can feel pain from your cock as it is fully erected. You kiss Tzuyu's neck fiercely, smelling her scent, your hand is still rubbing her thigh even she stop guiding you. You turn into a breast that want to swallow Tzuyu.
I glance at Sana and then move my eyes back to Tzuyu multiple times hoping she understands that she should join in. At the same time I spread Tzuyu's legs open and rub my hand against her panties. "Would you like to continue?"
'If you want to continue, remove your hand, my body is free for use, except for holes in bottom.' Tzuyu moves your hands back to her thigh, pretending nothing has happened.
Sana comes around and grabs Tzuyu's head for kiss, while you still kissing her neck, one of your hands is still rubbing Tzuyu's thigh, and your other hand is teasing Sana's clit. While Tzuyu is focusing on Sana's tits, she didn't forget you, she adjusts her ass so her ass cheek is gripped and starts rubbing you.
Tzuyu is just like a living aphrodisiac, keep triggering the lust of you and Sana.
I strip Tzuyu of her top and start playing with her breasts with one hand, the other spanks her lightly.
Sana is the first one to reach orgasm, she can't contain anymore as you and Tzuyu are playing her at the same time.
'Ah....' Sana's legs are shaking as Tzuyu even increases her pace after Sana peaks.
Seeing this horny scene, you feel you are reaching your peak soon. Tzuyu feels your cock throbbing, and she grinds you harder. You close your eye and kiss her neck hardly, while your hands are grabbing her tits harder.
I pinch and pull on her nipples as I feel myself get closer to my orgasm.
Tzuyu knows exactly what you need, she starts moaning to make you even more excited. 'Cum for me.'
When you think you are going to enjoy another orgasm of the day, Tzuyu stops and brings Sana to the sofa, hanging you out at the seat, not allowed to cum.
You could already feel your cum reach your tip and ready to splash all over Tzuyu's back, but you were denied. Tzuyu points at the clock, it's just within 2 minutes since you start dry fucking her, you have never tried to cum so fast, Tzuyu is just a woman that is made for sex and no man could resist.
I stand up and go to Sana, flipping her over and pulling out her butt plug. After that I immediately ram my cock into her ass until I fill her with cum again. I put the plug back afterwards.
Sana just lays on the sofa and let you fuck you fuck her. You cum immediately when you put in, 'Oh....' Sana's body shivers as you deliver your cum in her ass, you pull out and insert the plug again, let your seed remain in her ass.
Tzuyu walks behind you and start jerking you off again, 'Enter her ass without lubrication? How horny you are? I thought you are going to enjoy my service.'
Maybe because it's Tzuyu, your cock is back to full hardness when she touches your cock, her hand feels like heaven, and you feel like you could cum at any time.
"Sana's ass is already lubricated." I respond.
'Oh, I don't expect you prefer ass more.' Tzuyu whispers in your ear, her hand is still stroking you.
Feeling your cock starts to throb again, Tzuyu asks' Do you wanna cum now, or you want to have more fun first?'
"It’s not that I prefer ass, Sana here wanted it there." I lightly smack her thighs, "let's have a little more fun."
'So, maybe you should finish it on my ass first.' Tzuyu kneels on Sana, and aligns your cock into her ass cheek, starts rubbing you again just like before.
Meanwhile, Tzuyu bites Sana's nipples and makes her moan again. Seeing two girls playing with each other makes you go wild, and you move your hips faster for more pleasure.
I grab onto Tzuyu's hips and start thrusting between her cheeks faster until I spill my load onto her back
Tzuyu arcs her back so you can shoot on her more easily, waves of cum you are shooting on her, some of them even lands on her hair. You grab her ass and use it as the platform for your shooting.
Tzuyu turns around when she feels you are finished, she fixed her cummed hair into a tail, you see the mess caused by you, and you feel horny again. You don't understand why, but your body has responded for you, and your cock start to harden again.
Tzuyu grabs it and stroking it again without hesitate, 'Seems you are enjoying my service, don't you? Guess I am a qualified team member now.'
"Not completely, but I won't push you any further."
'Why still further? I can make you happy without letting you enter me. You can't even hold on for 3 minutes when I rub you.' Tzuyu smirks and keeps stroking you, you moan her name from the sensation, and you can feel you are ready for orgasm again.
'See? Men could always have fun without entering me. Even My dad.' Tzuyu playfully squeezes and your cock pulse.
"Part of the fun is making the other person feel good too. It's not just meant to be me feeling good."
'Every man I met want to fuck me, from my classmates, teachers, and even my dad, I guess you are not different with them.' Tzuyu starts rubbing your tips as she feels you are reaching the orgasm.
'Oh Tzuyu... I am going to cum.' Your legs shake as she continues to rub your sensitive spots. You grab her meaty thigh harder.
'But I think it's more fun for me to see Men desperately want to fuck me, but they would just beg me to let them cum at the end. I guess I want to hear it now.' Tzuyu stops stroking you and instead teases you when you are one step from the orgasm.
"That maybe fun to you but I only feel it's right that you feel the same type of pleasure I'm feeling. If that’s all then you can go." I say as I resist Tzuyu.
'It's all excuse that you want to fuck me, leave it to your secretary. You are not gonna cum if you keep doing that. Say the word.' Tzuyu's hands move so quickly but keep giving you enough pleasure to maintain at the edge of orgasm, you cock can't catch her, and you seems just thrusting in the air. Sana can't stop to smirk as she never see you are so frustrated.
"Of course, I want to fuck you, but you made it quite clear you don't want that. You even seem to feel superior about it, quite trashy if I do say so. You can leave now." I say as I pull away from her and dress myself.
'How do you know I won't let you fuck me if you beg for it.' Tzuyu said as she removes the last piece of clothes, she is fully naked now, and your eye scanned her body, from her mid-size tits, her abs, her great hips, her meaty thighs, and her long legs. You back to the head and see her seductive face. Your bulge in your pants becomes even bigger. The existence of Tzuyu is already a temptation, you now understand what she said, every man she met will definitely want to fuck her.
Tzuyu walks to you and slowly caresses your bulge, 'Are you sure you going to leave now? You are not going to have a second chance.'
"You're the type that'll make me beg and then not give it to me. I know that for certain." I respond. "Don't try to tell me otherwise."
'If you beg, you could at least cum, right?' Tzuyu squeeze your bulge before stepping away and start dressing.'
'I am glad that you can hold on, you are the first one who can do it. No one can resist me in the past, that's why I am still a virgin.'
'I guess you should leave with your bulge maybe. Don't help him, Sana. Let him suffer the pain of allowing to cum, let him know girls are not belong to men.' Tzuyu says when she approaches the door.
"She is going to be annoying," I say to myself. "You're free to go if you'd like Sana"
'She is fun, isn't she? She is so beautiful and skillful, I am turned on immediately after she touched me. I see you are too? You cum 2 times in 5 minutes! I never see you cum that quickly. She is just born for sex, no matter whether male or female would fall to her. I am looking forward to playing with her again.'
'It's a shame I can't see Tzuyu showcasing her skill more, do you need me to help you before I off work? Or you want to leave it for tomorrow' Sana points at your bulge, it is not as big as you are playing with Tzuyu, it's still obvious that your cock need to be free.
"If you wouldn't mind Sana. This time I want to cum in your pussy though."
'Sure, boss. Just do it in the way you like.' Sana sits on your desk and uncover her skirt, you can see her pussy is wet already.
I slide my cock between her pussy lips a few times before thrusting into Sana. I pull Sana into a kiss. "I'll miss you, Sana. Tomorrow we'll spend the entire day fucking."
'Ah, Miss me already when you are still fucking me?' Sana returns to your kiss. ' I will be happy if you have the stamina to fuck me the whole day tomorrow, get some rest tonight, ok? Don't fuck other girls and leave the cum for me.' Sana grabs your ass and pushes you towards her.
I continue thrusting into Sana, joking "weren't you saying to fuck Dahyun just a little while ago?"
'I wouldn't mind you go to fuck her, but you can't cum. From now until the end of tomorrow, all your cum should be dedicated for me, ok?' Sana starts licking your nipple to give you more pleasure.
'You can bring Dahyun come tomorrow, let her know how bad her Oppa is.'
"I'm not doing that Sana," I pick up my pace and ram my cock deeper into Sana, "tell me when you're going to cum"
'Why huh? Afraid your image of good Oppa will collapse?' Sana increases her pace of grinding, she tenses her pussy for milking you.
'If you bring Dahyun to come tomorrow, I can create a chance for you to fuck her, but you need to come for me again, deal?'
"I'm not going to bring Dahyun, Sana." I pull on Sana's hips and hold her down while I start to piston in and out of Sana's pussy.
'You gonna fuck her in mind for the rest of your life huh?' Sana bites your nipple lightly, make you to moan.
'Dahyun is cumming, Oppa, faster!' Sana starts the role play again as she sees you refuse to admit the fact.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum. Take it all Sana!" I say I bury cock deep inside her and start to cum inside her.
'Yes, Oppa, give a kid to Dahyun! Cum in me!' Sana screams when she cums with you, you are more turned-on hearing Dahyun ask you to cum for her. The waves of cum keep splashing out from your cock, her walls presses you tightly to drain you.
'You should call me Dahyun instead of Sana, we are role-playing.' Sana rest lazily on your desk as she is recovering.
I pull out of Sana and sit down. "Yeah, sure I'll do it tomorrow if you want."
'Is you want, not I want, don't you want to fuck Dahyun huh?' Sana leaves the table and kneels to clean your cock.
The suction of Sana's mouth is really, you can feel she is sucking the remaining cum out of your cock. You pat her head and enjoy her service.
'So, how do you feel? You can fuck Sana and 'Dahyun' both tomorrow, excited?'
I force Sana down to the base of my cock. "Let's be quiet and enjoy this."
Sana has no other options as your push her deeply into your base, she now focuses on your cock and cleaning it.
You look at Sana starts to gag as your keep holding your cock in her throat.
Your phone rings and it's Momo, she should be coming for your answer. You look at the phone and think should you pick up the call.
I mute the ringtone and let Sana finish before calling Momo back when I'm alone.
Sana did not give you the chance, she strugglely grabs the phone and help you pick up the call while she is still sucking you.
The speaker is on, and there is only silence, after a while Momo finally speaks. 'Long time no see, how are you, Y/N?'
"Doing better, how are you?"
'No, no good, very bad when I am not with you.' Momo answers you on the other side of the phone.
You try to answer her but Sana is keep teasing you, you don't want Momo suspect anything as you think you will start to moan.
The call is silence again, you brain is fully functioning while you enjoy Sana's intense blow job.
'Y/N?' Momo asks again.
"I'm sorry Momo, just a bit busy with work. I also don't know what to say"
'So you don't have anything that you want to say? such as our relationship.' Momo asks again.
Sana's faces show that she is waiting for the drama, but she increases her intensity at the same time.
You are excited at this scenario which you two may get caught, your breath become heavier.
'Hey ,Y/N, are you listening to me?'
"Momo there are a lot of things I want to say but I don't know how to say them. I think that we should meet up some day next week. This weekend doesn't work for me unfortunately."
Sana seems not satisfied by your answer, she wants more drama. Sana let your cock go, and start rides you.
You try to push away Sana, but she just put a finger on her lips and tell you to be quiet, meanwhile she bite her lips to prevent let out moan.
'I want to see you now, Y/N. I just miss you so much.'
'Sorry, I need to pick up my step sister tonight, I am really not free.
'Umm... Um.....' Sana reaches orgasm first in this excited scenario, her juice splashing all over your cock, you can't hold on anymore, you push deeper and cum in her.
Momo seems noticed something as she hear your tone so strange, and she could hear some sounds from you and Sana's body when Sana rides you.
'You ok? Y/N, is there someone next to you?'
"I have a co-worker with me, I'm trying to juggle two things at once. Sorry, give me a minute to call you back." I hang up before Sana has a chance to stop me.
'Damn, it's so excited. I love it.' Sana starts to catch her breath after you end the call.
'I'm so high, she nearly caught us. Can you feel how tight I am?' Sana says while grinding you again.
'Maybe we can call Dahyun tomorrow while we are fucking.'
"Get dressed and get out Sana. We'll talk tomorrow." I say very seriously.
Sana gets up from your lap and kisses you, 'Remember get some rest tomorrow, I hope both of us can't walk on Sunday, see you tomorrow.' Sana then get dressed and leave your room.
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oceansoul001 · 2 months ago
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Couple of random thoughts regarding KCD2 last conversation with Hans.
[Spoilers!!!]
1. You can have this conversation either still in Suchdol (after talking to Sir Hanush) or in the Devil's Den post credits. They don't differ beside last topic ("What are your plans now?") that is removed if you choose the latter.
2. Generally there is not much of a difference between romance and non-romance paths. Romanced Hans tells you everything that the non-romanced does, just adds a few unique sentences. You can probably notice switch of tone in "What are we going to do about the wedding" topic, for the romanced lines: "I'm not sure what to do... after what happened, you know...? I mean... me and you... I suppose we'll just have to wait and see how things turn out..." I find this reaction very believable given the situation, I recon they both need some time to sort things in their heads, as the ongoing siege/bringing reinforcements didn't leave them much time and space for reflection. So I am very okay with them not discussing the topic further at this point. And, I know this might sound strange, but I also really like that there are no love confessions at this point, I greatly dislike it when games throw them at me after literally one night spent together with someone.
BUT. Directly after this part comes the non-romance part where Hans worries about his bride being ugly and then proceeds to talk about naming his son after Henry, and I don't know... I mean, yeah, we all are aware of the fact that Hans most probably still has to get married, and have an heir, and it does not matter at all whether something happened between him & Henry, or not, but is this really the thing he would casually say at this moment...? Okay, maybe he would, it's Hans. But what is even more bizarre to me is my Henry, who is happily babbling as if nothing has changed at all, even though like a minute ago he was this awkward mess thanking Hans for "the encouragement". So what I'm trying to say is, I would prefer at least for Henry to act/respond differently in the romanced version and remain more awkward throughout this convo. But maybe I'm overthinking this! 😅
3. Another difference in the romance path occurs when discussing Hans' injury, as only in this version Henry asks if he can take a look at the wound later, and I think it is so sweet. Very minor detail, but I love it. ❤️
4. The thing that I definitely don't like is asking Hans about his talk with Hanush, and Hans responding with "You don't need to know everything", like??? My guy. Please. You've just shared with me probably the most intimate and secretive moment OF YOUR LIFE, and now you don't want to tell me some shit about Hanush, even though it is not even a secret and like everyone in Rattay already knows (your own words!). I don't get it at all, why in the romance path this still requires a speech check and why is Hans so weird about not telling me "everything", even though mere hours ago he was ready to die from grief if I don't come back 😭
5. Speaking of dying, romanced Hans can say the following at the beginning of your conversation: "I'm glad nothing happened to you. That would have killed me", but it only happens if Sam does not survive. So not in my game, as I would never leave my brother behind. Hans can also admit that he was jealous of Sam, which for me was very clear during the game, but also under the condition that Sam does not survive.
6. Last, but not least - I wish we could have another conversation with romanced Hans after couple in-game days pass, after we both have had a chance to collect our thoughts. Nothing groundbreaking, just something short and sweet, and you know, maybe get the possibility to share a kiss in our room at the Devil's Den when we want... I know it might sound greedy, or silly, after all we've just got this perfect, almost unreal relationship at all, but nothing can stop me from dreaming. 🥹
Happy to hear your thoughts on the subject! ❤️
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moremaybank · 1 year ago
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tending to jj's cuts and bruises after he defends your honour... (based on this post and this request) [0.8k]
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"Ow."
Your hands work diligently at the cut etched across his cheekbone from your stance between his legs. For a moment, one wanders off, stroking his non-battered cheek in a silent apology for the added pain.
"You did this to yourself," you state matter-of-factly. "No one told you to turn into the Hulk."
"Well, you don't have to be mean about it."
"I'm not trying to be mean. I just don't understand why you can't let shit go sometimes."
You move on to his split lip. A jagged, dark red line cuts through the mouth that you think about far too often. You ache to kiss it, believing that maybe you occupy the healing powers he so obviously needs, but then you think better of it.
There's no way he feels it too.
You dab a wet towel at his lip, cleaning off the dried blood, and once his mouth is free, he chooses to defend himself, thankfully with his words this go around.
"You didn't hear what he said about you, Y/N/N. I wasn't about to jus' let him get away with that shit."
Your eyes meet his, and you pause your movements. Though you appreciated his loyalty and how he'd always stick up for you no matter the cost, you never enjoy when he actually goes to those great lengths just to protect you.
Simply having him in your corner was more than you could ever ask for.
"Kelce is an idiot. I don't care what he has to say about me, and you shouldn't either."
"Well, I do. He's lucky he didn't leave in a bodybag."
Your eyes narrow at him. "You're impossible."
"'M jus' sayin," he says. His tender and sore hands travel up the sides of your thighs, warmth blossoming through you in their wake. He gives your flesh a squeeze. Funnily enough, he can no longer feel the pain flashing through them like lightning bolts now that he's touching you. "I'll never let anyone say or do anythin' to hurt you, princess. I'll always protect you."
You feel the warmth bloom in your cheeks, and you're eternally glad that he isn't holding your face the way he always does. You'd be busted if he were.
You offer him a small smile, one you can't suppress. How can you be expected to after those sentiments?
"Look, I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you can't keep putting yourself in the position to get in trouble. You're not a kid anymore, and you've had enough run-ins with the law as it is."
"'M not scared of gettin' in shit, Y/N/N."
"I'm serious," you frown down at him.
"So am I. Fuck the opps."
You scoff, wanting to wipe that devilish smirk off his face. "You sound like Pope."
"Who d'you think taught him that?"
You know he thinks this is all just a joke. Not the defending you part, but the getting in trouble with the law part. He'll always do what he feels he needs to, regardless of the possible consequences. It's just how he is. Still, you don't think it's a joke. You hate how Shoupe and the rest of them take all his indiscretions and use it as ammo to remind him that he'll never escape the southside. You'd hate to be the reason that he 'proves them right.'
"J, I mean it." You set the items that occupy your hands down on the marble counter, and grab his face in your hands, careful of his cuts and bruises. "All I'm asking is that you try and keep it together. Please. I don't like watching you get hurt."
He's silent for a moment, analyzing your words and the sincere look on your face. Yeah, you're his best friend, but it's always a nice reminder that someone actually wants to look out for him and care for him.
He likes it even better when it's you who's doing so.
The corners of his lips turn up and his hands migrate to the backs of your thighs. He uses his hold on you to urge you closer. "You're worried about me."
You give him an incredulous look. "Yes, JJ. I worry about you. After all this time, I don't even know why you question that."
"'Cause you're the only one who does."
You melt inside, and you're sure you do so on the outside as well. Your eyes soften, and to distract him from it, you go back to cleaning him up, reaching for some q-tips and the disinfectant.
His eyes flutter closed when you touch him again.
"If you wanted attention, you coulda just said so," you joke, unable to resist poking fun at him.
"Shut up," he says, laughing softly. His eyes are open again, and he looks up at you so tenderly that he wants to tell you what he's been feeling all this time.
I love you.
It's on the tip of his tongue, but when he wills it to leave his mouth, they refuse him.
He goes for the next best thing.
"Look, I'll try to...control myself. No promises, though."
A small smile graces your lips. "Thank you."
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concepts ; concepts (ii)
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farshootergotme · 8 months ago
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Now that I have the confidence to send you asks, fully expect me to bug you periodically from here on out
Anyways- do you think Dick qualifies as a scapegoat? Cause I 100% think he's a scapegoat. People always try to shove the 'golden child' role onto Dick, and it always confused me cause like. He doesn't fit it at all if you actually look into what a golden child is.
Dick is definitely one of the scapegoats of the batfamily (Jason being the other) and it makes me sad that people always label him a golden child when he's the exact opposite. Seriously- he's hit, beaten, unfairly blamed, lashed out at, not told about important things (Jason or being replaced, Jason dying, Jason's funeral, probably other things, i wouldn't be surprised), etc. Definition of a scapegoat to me.
It's also why I hesitate to label him the 'favorite' even when the comics try to say otherwise. Mostly because... favorite children aren't really treated this way. Favorite weapon, maybe, as I've said in a post I've made before, but that's it. Bruce wouldn't kill for him or any of his kids. He's come close, yeah, but he's also come close to killing the Joker too after Jason's death and had to be threatened into not doing it. Every time, it's in a strong surge of emotion, and the second Bruce thinks rationally- well, he doesn't do it. Dick isn't at all unique, Bruce wouldn't kill for him either.
I think Bruce is the most proud of Dick, and has a unique relationship with him due to knowing him the longest and the parentification, but I don't think that makes him the favorite. Maybe to the other batkids, but probably not in reality.
I don't think Bruce really HAS a favorite- Dick is probably the closest to it, but still.
Though, if you wanna play around with angst and fanon ideas, maybe both Dick and Jason are the favorites and that's why Bruce treats them the worst? Dunno, it'd make a fun fic, even if it's not really grounded in canon (though I ignore RHATO and Comic UTRH).
Idk. Just,, gestures. Dick is a scapegoat to me.
Hope my 2 am rambling made sense lol
Okay, I see you, but I'll argue:
Dick Grayson is both the scapegoat and the golden child.
Now, you might not believe this since he doesn't tend to be both at the same time, and it isn't common for these roles to exist within the same individual. But Dick Grayson is praised and favored as much as he's blamed and pushed.
A golden child is the one who carries most of the expectations in the family. The parent expects them to be perfect, make no mistakes, take on roles they're pushed into with no issue (thus parentification can happen), and continue on and on to be good enough and meet the criteria so they don't make the parent disappointed.
The love is conditional hence they develop this unhealthy perfectionism and self-esteem and self-worth issues that will follow them till adulthood even when they're out of that environment and living their own lives.
The reason why a parent might choose a specific child (or children) to be the favored one is because they tend to see this child as an extension of themselves. And consequential to this, they will project their insecurities onto said child and force them to improve—be the best—where they fall short. All of their capabilities are overvalued, making the parent see them as special and much better than the rest, causing the unrealistic expectations a child must hold and fulfill so as not to “fail” their parent(s).
Although this child might seem like the favorite and who could do no wrong on the outside, the love they receive isn't something they can take for granted.
When a golden child underperforms or isn't as good as they're expected, the parent’s demeanor might change. They will feel the disappointment and fear this might cause the treatment they get to change. Sometimes the child might even fear abandonment or rejection from their parent as a result of their failures.
The mix of all this turns into a person who's over-competent, hard-working and someone that tends to take charge of things so they aren't at risk of failing, making them ‘natural’ leaders in any group they might be part of.
Sounding familiar yet?
Now, let's move on to the scapegoat:
A scapegoat child is the one that is blamed by all the things that go wrong in the family. They are constantly criticized and shamed by things they might've not even been part of, but somehow they're now involved and taking all the blame for the others so there are no consequences for anyone but them.
(All the blame also messes with their perception of certain events, making them prone to self-blame for the problems that occur in the family or their behaviors towards them.)
The scapegoating in the family may be due to subconscious projection from the parent when they're dealing with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, rage, etc. They feel threatened by their own feelings and therefore they will try to escape from them by externalizing those feelings and making them their scapegoat’s problem.
Because of this treatment, the scapegoat might become an outsider in the family, feeling excluded and isolated from the rest. And for this, when push comes to shove and they're going through a rough patch, they will not have any reliable support they can go to inside the family as they'll be ignored or otherwise unfairly treated, having their feelings be invalidated.
Like the golden child, there's some aspects the scapegoat shares with the former:
Being treated differently by the parent/family.
Having unrealistic expectations placed upon them.
Being pushed into roles or responsibilities the child isn't meant to take.
Fear of expressing how they feel.
Self-worth issues and low self-esteem.
Although they're usually roles that are considered opposites, they aren't as incompatible as one might think. A child can alternate between being a scapegoat or the golden child, and this usually happens when the parent is very emotionally unstable, commonly due to a disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD).
(I have so many thoughts about the latter applying to Bruce, but I will refrain from elaborating to not make this longer than it needs to be)
Having all I've said until now in consideration, I'm sure you've noticed how Dick meets both criterias—dare I say the golden child more often than the scapegoat.
Bruce is always speaking about how Dick is “better than him” and “the thing he's ever done right”, but in both of these statements you can see he's taking who Dick is and making it as something that's part of him, comparing Dick's accomplishments to his and putting him in this pedestal, and because of this projection happens and Bruce starts seeing Dick as an extension of himself.
This is why, when he or Dick fail, Dick will suddenly become the scapegoat, contrasting with the former golden child position he was in.
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Here you can see the high expectations, praise for his accomplishments, his siblings feeling like Dick is better than them (i.e. treated differently than the rest), and you can also see how when he doesn't meet the expectations, he's met with disappointment (see: Alfred disappointed he's not as bright as he usually is) or judgment (see: Bruce angry at him because he isn't committing to his cause as much as he expects him to).
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And these are examples of Bruce being too harsh on Dick and expecting him to do better, blaming him for his brother's death, and in result Dick having a habit of blaming himself and accepting mistreatment, thinking it must be his fault.
More often than not, Dick is put on a pedestal by his family and even his friends sometimes. They praise and love him, but when there's occasions in which he's acting less than perfect, the treatment towards him can change.
Dick Grayson can be the golden child as much as he can be the scapegoat.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 year ago
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Harry was never really Dumbledore's man
So, in HBP Harry says himself:
“Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you,” said Scrimgeour, his eyes cold and hard behind his wire-rimmed glasses. “Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?” “Yeah, I am,” said Harry.
(HBP, 348)
But, I'm here to argue Harry actually has many many doubts and reservations about Dumbledore throughout all books (even HBP), and I find it interesting how Harry convinced the Wizarding world (and the readers) that he's Dumbledore's man when he isn't. Not really.
(Just makes me all the more annoyed at him calling his son Albus...)
I'm going to go through some examples of Harry showing his doubts about Dumbledore way before book 7. Because Harry is an abused, distrusting boy, and Dumbledore isn't actually an exception to that until very late into the books. And even when Harry chooses to trust Dumbledore's intentions, he never fully trusts his judgment.
“D’you think he meant you to do it?” said Ron. “Sending you your father’s cloak and everything?” “Well, ” Hermione exploded, “if he did — I mean to say that’s terrible — you could have been killed.” “No, it isn’t,” said Harry thoughtfully. “He’s a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don’t think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It’s almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could….”
(PS, 217)
This quote above is from the ending of Philosopher's Stone and the outlook Harry, Ron, and Hermione have on Dumbledore and his behavior is the same as seen in the later books. So I wanted to talk about each of them and how they see Dumbledore because this quote really sets the tone for the rest of the series.
Ron is doubtful and distrustful. The situation is odd, and he's clever, he analyzed the situation and came to a frightening conclusion — the whole ordeal seemed planned by Dumbledore. And Ron isn't scared of voicing this question.
Hermione, while not always a rule-follower, respects Dumbledore and his authority. A lot. So, she doesn't believe Dumbledore could've planned it as it would reflect badly on his character and authority. Hermione is a very loyal person, and once she decides she respects someone she is willfully blind to their flaws (we see it with her later in the series).
Harry, while he's clever enough to notice the same things Ron did and come to the same conclusion — that Dumbledore planned for an 11-year-old to face Voldemort — he attributes good intentions to Dumbledore. Harry sees the situation and draws his conclusions, but chooses to hope/believe Dumbledore's intentions were good ones.
Harry’s brain seemed to have jammed. He stared numbly at Riddle, at the orphaned boy who had grown up to murder Harry’s own parents, and so many others. . . . At last he forced himself to speak. “You’re not,” he said, his quiet voice full of hatred. “Not what?” snapped Riddle. “Not the greatest sorcerer in the world,” said Harry, breathing fast. “Sorry to disappoint you and all that, but the greatest wizard in the world is Albus Dumbledore. Everyone says so. Even when you were strong, you didn’t dare try and take over at Hogwarts. Dumbledore saw through you when you were at school and he still frightens you now, wherever you’re hiding these days —” The smile had gone from Riddle’s face, to be replaced by a very ugly look. “Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!” he hissed. “He’s not as gone as you might think!” Harry retorted. He was speaking at random, wanting to scare Riddle, wishing rather than believing it to be true —
(CoS, 282)
This is one of the scenes people call to to show how much faith Harry has in Dumbledore (even Dumbledore himself), the thing is, Harry says (in his mind) he's just saying things to try and scare Tom. To try and buy time, or unbalance Tom so he may have a chance at escape.
The important note is that Harry doesn't actually believe what he's saying to Tom. He's just saying what he thinks would bother Tom the most.
Harry had never shared this piece of information with anybody. He was very fond of his wand, and as far as he was concerned its relation to Voldemort’s wand was something it couldn’t help — rather as he couldn’t help being related to Aunt Petunia. However, he really hoped that Mr. Ollivander wasn’t about to tell the room about it. He had a funny feeling Rita Skeeter’s Quick-Quotes Quill might just explode with excitement if he did.
(GoF, 310)
This part about telling no one about his wand's connection to Voldemort is true. He never told anyone by that point in GoF. Not Ron, not Hermione, not Dumbledore, not even Sirius.
As I mentioned above, Harry is abused and distrustful. He's not at all Dumbledore's perfect soldier who trusts him with everything. In GoF, Harry decides against telling Dumbledore about his dreams and the pain in his scar:
“Your scar hurt? Harry, that’s really serious. . . . Write to Professor Dumbledore! And I’ll go and check Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions. . . . Maybe there’s something in there about curse scars. . . .” Yes, that would be Hermione’s advice: Go straight to the headmaster of Hogwarts, and in the meantime, consult a book. [...] As for informing the headmaster, Harry had no idea where Dumbledore went during the summer holidays. He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, fulllength wizard’s robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion onto his long crooked nose. Wherever Dumbledore was, though, Harry was sure that Hedwig would be able to find him; Harry’s owl had never yet failed to deliver a letter to anyone, even without an address. But what would he write? Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter. Even inside his head the words sounded stupid.
(GoF, 21)
Harry doesn't wish to share secrets with Dumbledore, nor does he feel comfortable to go to him with his troubles (his go-to adult while Sirius was around was always Sirius). Again, Hermione is mentioned as the one who trusts Dumbledore's authority, in Harry's head, but he's right, he knows her well.
Harry actually spends a good portion of the series purposefully trying to hide information from Dumbledore. (I'm saying 'trying ' because Dumbledore always found out, but not because Harry told him).
“He seemed to think it was best,” said Hermione rather breathlessly. “Dumbledore, I mean.” “Right,” said Harry. He noticed that her hands too bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry. “I think he thought you were safest with the Muggles —” Ron began. “Yeah?” said Harry, raising his eyebrows. “Have either of you been attacked by dementors this summer?” “Well, no — but that’s why he’s had people from the Order of the Phoenix tailing you all the time -” Harry felt a great jolt in his guts as though he had just missed a step going downstairs. So everyone had known he was being followed except him. “Didn’t work that well, though, did it?” said Harry, doing his utmost to keep his voice even. “Had to look after myself after all, didn’t I?” “He was so angry,” said Hermione in an almost awestruck voice. “Dumbledore. We saw him. When he found out Mundungus had left before his shift had ended. He was scary.” “Well, I’m glad he left,” Harry said coldly. “If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have done magic and Dumbledore would probably have left me at Privet Drive all summer.”
(OotP, 63)
Harry is angry here, true, but he doubts Dumbledore's idea of what's "safe" for him. He's actually glad for the dementors because he doubts Dumbledore would've brought him over if it wasn't an emergency.
And Harry is right to be doubtful and suspicious. He's right that he's less safe at the Dursleys than at Grimmauld Place. He's right to feel angry and betrayed at literally everyone knowing he's being followed except for him. He's right Dumbledore probably wouldn't have brought him if it wasn't for the dementor attack. Harry is correct in each and every one of his assessments of Dumbledore's character and decisions here.
“No,” said Harry, shaking his head. “It’s more like . . . his mood, I suppose. I’m just getting flashes of what mood he’s in. . . . Dumbledore said something like this was happening last year. . . . He said that when Voldemort was near me, or when he was feeling hatred, I could tell. Well, now I’m feeling it when he’s pleased too. . . .” There was a pause. The wind and rain lashed at the building. “You’ve got to tell someone,” said Ron. “I told Sirius last time.” “Well, tell him about this time!” “Can’t, can I?” said Harry grimly. “Umbridge is watching the owls and the fires, remember?” “Well then, Dumbledore —” “I’ve just told you, he already knows,” said Harry shortly, getting to his feet, taking his cloak off his peg, and swinging it around himself. “There’s no point telling him again.” Ron did up the fastening of his own cloak, watching Harry thoughtfully. “Dumbledore’d want to know,” he said. Harry shrugged. “C’mon . . . we’ve still got Silencing Charms to practice . . .”
(OotP, 382)
Remember I mentioned Harry hiding things from Dumbledore? This is one of such occasions. There are more in GoF that I didn't copy, but this is an example of Voldemort-related, dangerous information Harry is hiding from Dumbledore because he doesn't trust him and doesn't feel comfortable telling him things.
“It’s lessons with Snape that are making it worse,” said Harry flatly. “I’m getting sick of my scar hurting, and I’m getting bored walking down that corridor every night.” He rubbed his forehead angrily. “I just wish the door would open, I’m sick of standing staring at it —” “That’s not funny,” said Hermione sharply. “Dumbledore doesn’t want you to have dreams about that corridor at all, or he wouldn’t have asked Snape to teach you Occlumency. You’re just going to have to work a bit harder in your lessons.” “I am working!” said Harry, nettled. “You try it sometime, Snape trying to get inside your head, it’s not a bundle of laughs, you know!” “Maybe . . .” said Ron slowly. “Maybe what?” said Hermione rather snappishly. “Maybe it’s not Harry’s fault he can’t close his mind,” said Ron darkly. “What do you mean?” said Hermione. “Well, maybe Snape isn’t really trying to help Harry. . . .” Harry and Hermione stared at him. Ron looked darkly and meaningfully from one to the other. “Maybe,” he said again in a lower voice, “he’s actually trying to open Harry’s mind a bit wider . . . make it easier for You-Know —” “Shut up, Ron,” said Hermione angrily. “How many times have you suspected Snape, and when have you ever been right? Dumbledore trusts him, he works for the Order, that ought to be enough.” “He used to be a Death Eater,” said Ron stubbornly. “And we’ve never seen proof that he really swapped sides. . . .” “Dumbledore trusts him,” Hermione repeated. “And if we can’t trust Dumbledore, we can’t trust anyone.”
(OotP, 554)
Again we see the same exact dynamic from first year. Hermione is loyal to Dumbledore, not even considering he might be wrong about something, or not have their best interests at heart. Ron and Harry on the other hand, are both open to the possibility that things aren't so simple. They don't think Dumbledore is intentionally harming Harry, but they think he's wrong about Snape. Something Hermione, Arthur and Molly would never consider.
(This is actually the most annoying thing in Hermione's character for me, her unshakable faith in Dumbledore, who doesn't deserve her trust)
“. . . so you see what this means?” Harry finished at a gallop. “Dumbledore won’t be here tonight, so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to. No, listen to me!” he hissed angrily, as both Ron and Hermione showed every sign of interrupting. “I know it was Malfoy celebrating in the Room of Requirement. Here —” He shoved the Marauder’s Map into Hermione’s hands. “You’ve got to watch him and you’ve got to watch Snape too. Use anyone else who you can rustle up from the D.A., Hermione, those contact Galleons will still work, right? Dumbledore says he’s put extra protection in the school, but if Snape’s involved, he’ll know what Dumbledore’s protection is, and how to avoid it — but he won’t be expecting you lot to be on the watch, will he?” “Harry —” began Hermione, her eyes huge with fear.
(HBP, 552)
Even in book 6, the book Harry grows the most comfortable and trusting towards Dumbledore, even then, he doesn't trust Dumbledore. He thinks (and somewhat rightly so because he doesn't know of Snape and Dumbledore's plan) that Dumbledore is wrong about Snape. that Dumbledore is wrong about Malfoy. Harry doesn't trust that whatever protections Dumbledore would leave would be enough (and they weren't).
Even at the end of HBP, the point in the series where Harry has the most faith in Dumbledore, Harry still doesn't trust Dumbledore's judgment or his ability to protect the school. Even after Dumbledore calls Harry out on it, telling him the safety of the students is important to him, Harry still tells Ron and Hermione to get the DA to protect the school without notifying Dumbledore.
And Dumbledore raised Harry to feel responsible for the school's safety, Harry is doing what he was "bred" to do. But he does it behind Dumbledore's back, because like every adult, Harry deep down expects to be let down. After all, he's used to saving the school himself.
So, no, Harry never really trusted Dumbledore fully. At least, not Dumbledore's judgment. Harry does believe Dumbledore's intentions are good for the most part, even if ineffective.
“He never told me his sister was a Squib,” said Harry, without thinking, still cold inside. “And why on earth would he tell you?” screeched Muriel, swaying a little in her seat as she attempted to focus upon Harry [...] Where was saintly Albus while Ariana was locked in the cellar? Off being brilliant at Hogwarts, and never mind what was going on in his own house!” “What d’you mean, locked in the cellar?” asked Harry. “What is this?” Doge looked wretched. Auntie Muriel cackled again and answered Harry. [...] Numbly Harry thought of how the Dursleys had once shut him up, locked him away, kept him out of sight, all for the crime of being a wizard. Had Dumbledore’s sister suffered the same fate in reverse: imprisoned for her lack of magic? Had Dumbledore truly left her to her fate while he went off to Hogwarts to prove himself brilliant and talented?
(DH, 135-137)
And in Deathley Hollows, Harry is very quick to start questioning and doubting Dumbledore. Especially when compared to Hermione:
“Harry—” But he shook his head. Some inner certainty had crashed down inside him; it was exactly as he had felt after Ron left. He had trusted Dumbledore, believed him the embodiment of goodness and wisdom. All was ashes: How much more could he lose? Ron, Dumbledore, the phoenix wand . . . “Harry.” She seemed to have heard his thoughts. “Listen to me. It—it doesn’t make very nice reading—” “Yeah, you could say that—” “—but don’t forget, Harry this is Rita Skeeter writing.” “You did read that letter to Grindelwald, didn’t you?” “Yes, I—I did.” She hesitated, looking upset, cradling her tea in her cold hands.
(DH, 311)
Harry is hurt, he feels betrayed, because while he never 100% trusted Dumbledore's judgment, he trusted his intentions. He trusted Dumbledore was good and cared for him. He feels cold and betrayed, showing trust in his intentions. But his readiness to accept Skeeter's and Muriel's accusations so quickly shows he always had his doubts about Dumbledore and they never really left, even if he wanted to trust him, he never did, not fully.
Hermione, on the other hand, who was always loyal and trusted Dumbledore (both his intentions and judgment) 100%, tries to rationalize Dumbledore's actions and convince herself everyone who says bad things about him is lying.
Harry doesn't. Because out of the Golden Trio, Hermione was always Dumbledore's woman, Ron and Harry... not really. Not as much.
“That old berk,” muttered Aberforth, taking another swig of mead. “Thought the sun shone out of my brother’s every office, he did. Well, so did plenty of people, you three included, by the looks of it.” Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby’s grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything that he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose. He met Aberforth’s gaze, which was so strikingly like his brothers’: The bright blue eyes gave the same impression that they were X-raying the object of their scrutiny, and Harry thought that Aberforth knew what he was thinking and despised him for it. “Professor Dumbledore cared about Harry, very much,” said Hermione in a low voice. “Did he now?” said Aberforth. “Funny thing how many of the people my brother cared about very much ended up in a worse state than if he’d left ’em well alone.”
(DH, 478)
More of how Harry thinks about Dumbledore, showing, again, how he always had his doubts and reservations but he chooses to trust Dumbledore's intentions because otherwise, he doesn't think he has any hope to defeat Voldemort. He chooses to keep following Dumbledore's path because he has no real choice but to trust what he sees as the only path that'll lead to Voldemort's destruction. But Harry has plenty of doubts about Dumbledore.
Hermione, on the other hand, has little to no doubts. She doesn't allow herself to doubt.
And this pattern, of Harry doubting Dumbledore again and again, never truly trusting him, just trusting his plan will kill Voldemort... like, how does that lead Harry to want to name his kid 'Albus'? I just don't get it...
TL;DR
Harry likes to say he's Dumbledore's man, but he always had his reservations, even when he choose to ignore them since trusting Dumbledore's plan felt like his only chance at survival. Hermione is much more trusting of Dumbledore than Harry is.
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sanguineterrain · 2 years ago
Note
Hi again 😊 You suggested i could send another prompt, sooo… maybe you & Jason have been together awhile, and you’re kidnapped by (choose your villain) and Jason is worried and frantic but trying to not show it of course, and negotiating for your safety? Ends up rescuing you of course, in whichever way you prefer, and then they find comfort in each-other 💗
I haven’t had time or energy to work on my WIP lately so this is very lovely and gratifying 😂👌🏻💗
aghh that's the worst! wishing you luck on your wip!! i'm glad you like these <3 requests are open for jason, dick, and MAWS!clark kent btw!
this one is very batfam focused hehehe. ft dramatic ass jason and his surprise kidnapped fiancé lol.
jason todd x gn!reader. tw: violence, kidnapped reader, reader is pushed off a building for a moment but they're okay dw <3, batfam feels, jason being a protective bf, bruce being a GOOD DAD! c:
****
"Actually, if we're being honest, if anyone has the most trauma in this family, it's—"
Batman grunts. "Really, Spoiler, not now."
The comm line crackles as Stephanie sniffs. "Fine. Stay in denial."
"Bats."
Every bat and bird in Gotham goes still.
"Hood?" Barbara asks carefully, already tracking his comm link.
"Oracle," he says, clipped. "I'm gonna get right to it: I need a favor. Can you help? Yes or no."
"Little Wing, where have you been?" Dick asks. "We've all—"
"Shut up, Nightwing," Jason growls. "Either you help me or not. Which is it?"
"We'll help you, Hood," Bruce says, voice washing over Jason like a balm.
Jason takes a deep breath. It's okay. He'll find you. Batman always beats the bad guys.
He fiddles with his jacket zipper. Moments tick by. Dick remains crouched on a rooftop. Damian is similarly poised.
"My..." Jason swallows. "My... fiancé's been taken."
The comm explodes with noise. Jason winces and digs the bud out of his ear for several seconds.
"Fiancé?!"
"You're getting married—"
"When was this—"
"Who are—"
"Enough," Jason growls, finally shoving the bud back into his ear. "I don't have fucking time for this. Yes, I am engaged, and they've been taken. No more questions."
"Tt. You are engaged? Impossible. Batman, clearly someone has hacked the line pretending to be Hood," Damian says, folding his arms.
Jason rolls his eyes. "Believe it or not, demon bird, I found someone crazy enough to marry me."
"Little Wing, I—I'm really proud of—"
"Shut up!" Jason pinches the bridge of his nose. This was a bad idea. You're in trouble, and Jason intends to tear Gotham apart to find you, but involving his family? Has he really stooped so low...
Deep breath. His focus is you. You're the only person that matters.
"Look, I'm telling you because Oracle's tracking me anyway, and B would snoop until he figured out who I'm really looking for, so it's easier to just tell you. But make no mistake: you aren't my family, and you won't see us again after tonight."
Bruce's throat tightens. His cape flutters in the wind.
"Very well," he says after a couple beats. "Last known location?"
"I'm sending you the address now. I've retraced my steps a hundred times though, and I can't—" Jason grits his teeth. He can't tear up or break things, not again. "Fuck. I can't fucking find them, B. I... I don't know if-if maybe I'm too late—"
"You're not," Dick says automatically. "We'll find them, Little Wing. We'll bring them home."
****
Your head is on fire.
It feels like there's a thousand needles pelting your skull. Whatever you were drugged with, it's hard stuff, and it hasn't worn away yet.
You look up; you're gagged and tied to some kind of support beam. As your vision clears, you see that you're in one of the new high rise-in-progress. Only the skeleton of the building has been completed because if Bruce Wayne isn't involved, construction takes forever to complete.
Faintly, you recall Jason mentioning something about a construction company leaving half finished projects across the country and using them as havens for criminal activities.
Yeah. This is not good.
"Where the fuck is he?" The voice echoes across the concrete floor foundation.
"Mike, we sent—"
"I don't give a fuck what you did; obviously, you screwed up! He's not coming!"
You close your eyes, trying not to throw up on your gag. Your head spins when you open your eyes again.
Who's not coming? Your rescuer? Or somebody worse than your kidnappers?
You try to take a deep breath, but your chest tightens instead.
"Fine," Mike barks in the adjacent room. "If that hooded psychopath doesn't show up, we'll just dump this one. That'll send a message. Prepare the explosives."
A door swings open, and you flinch. You cower, shrinking from the figure.
"You better hope he shows," the guy growls, and cocks his gun. "Your boyfriend is the only reason you're still alive. It'll be such fun to watch him fall to his death, don't you think?"
You try not to show your swelling panic. How does he know about you and Jason? And you have to warn him. Explosives. Jason's walking straight into a trap, without backup, because you know he'll be alone. He always works alone.
Mike sneers and waves the gun around.
"Oh, yeah. I know your secrets. In bed with Gotham's biggest crime lord. You must be his favorite. I can see why."
"Mike!" someone shouts. "We got company!"
Mike's eyes blaze cruelly. "Showtime. You're coming with me."
You thrash as hard as you can because if there's one thing Jason taught you, it's to always fight back.
Mike backhands you hard enough to send you sprawling. Your hands are bound, so you can't catch yourself, and you hit your head on the concrete. Blood pools in your gums.
"Try that shit again, bitch," he snarls, and hefts you up.
He drags you up a flight of stairs. Your head throbs, and now your jaw aches. You're too dizzy to try to fight back again.
You end up on the roof, which is a miasma of beams and wooden lattices. Wind cuts through your face, and you close your eyes so they don't water.
"Hood!" Mike crows. "Wonderful of you to join us!"
"Wish I could say the same," Jason says, and your heart leaps at the sound of his voice.
You start to shout through your gag because you have to warn him. It's a trap, he'll kill you both—
Mike wraps his arm around your throat and squeezes. Air stops, and you choke on your cries.
"I'll kill you," Jason snarls, and you know he wants to say more, but he's trying to protect you. "Let them go and maybe I won't break every bone in your body."
"Oh, don't worry. You two will be reunited soon. What is it they say? Love blinds you?"
"Michael Cassidy," a new voice says, deep and deadly. "Let go of the hostage. We can talk this out."
You crack open your eyes. Is that... Batman? And Robin? And... Nightwing? What—
The arm around your throat tightens and you gasp for air as you start to choke for real. Oh God. Batman's going to die because of you.
"You involved Batman?" Mike snarls, now truly irate. You feel yourself being dragged backward, toward the edge. Your stomach rolls in warning.
"Take it easy," Batman says, palms up. "We can work this out."
"You can't play fair?" Mike shouts. "Then neither will I!"
The wood beneath your feet is gone. You're falling.
"No!"
But no sooner than you fall are you caught. Warm arms encircle your waist, and you're jerked to a stop before you can fall more than a few feet.
"I got you, baby, I got you."
Jason is connected to a grapple. At the roof edge is Batman, Nightwing, and Spoiler, all holding the grapple.
You shake your head, screaming against your gag. Bomb. Bomb!
"'S alright, 's alright, sweetheart, I won't drop you."
You scream urgently through your gag, butting your head against his helmet. Jason pulls your gag half free and you choke out the warning.
"B-bomb!"
His grip tightens. "Shit. B, get out of here! Place is rigged to blow!"
The first explosion goes off. Jason meets your gaze. He's terrified, you can tell, but he tries to mask it.
"Let go," he says.
"Wh—"
"He'll catch you," Jason promises. "I trust him."
And then he lets go.
Several more explosions go off. The building begins to crumble. Dust and heat sweep across your face and lodge in your already sore throat. You scream, in the air for a few more seconds.
Then you crash into gray body armor. A cowl, a cape.
"It's alright," Batman gruffly says. "Hold on tight."
Batman swings you both to safety on an adjacent rooftop. You watch him dive back into the flames. It isn't long before Jason swings out of the smoke, then the others. He pulls off his helmet and tosses it to the side, arms open.
You run and bury your face in Jason's neck, clinging to him. He hugs your tightly and rubs your back, saying over and over, I got you.
You sigh and slacken out of exhaustion.
"I've got you, baby," he says, though his voice is wet this time. "You're safe."
Jason checks over your wounds. You see the rage cross his face several times at every bruise and cut on you. He doesn't let go of you even after he's done. He's shaking too, perhaps more than you, as he cuts your binds and completely removes your gag.
The Bats land gracefully behind you. Jason stiffens as they do.
You kiss his jaw. His gaze returns to you.
"You saved me," you say.
"I always will," he says. "Always."
"Are either of you injured?"
Batman suddenly swishes to your side. You blink, startled.
"Nothing serious," you say. Jason grunts unhappily at that. You manage a smile. "Thank you. All of you. Thank you so much."
Jason nods stiffly. "Thanks, Bats."
Nightwing smiles, face soft with affection. "'Course, Hood. And, uh, Hood's fiancé. We're there any time you need us."
"That's right, chum," Batman says. The obvious care in his voice makes you ache.
Jason had called his family. His family with whom he has a plethora of problems. He'd called them for you.
"Jay," you say, voice thick with emotion. He seems to understand instantly.
"I'll always bring you home," he vows, cupping your face. "Whatever it takes."
He pulls you to him like he can't bear to be away from you any longer.
You squeeze his wrists. "I know. It's okay, Jay. I'm okay."
Out of the corner of your eye, you see that the Bats still have not dispersed. Spoiler looks like she's about to melt into a puddle. Nightwing is the same. Even Batman looks a little sentimental.
Robin is the only one scowling, tapping his foot impatiently.
"Hood, are you not going to introduce your fiance-we-just-learned-existed-tonight?" Robin asks, arms folded.
Jason huffs. "Not with those manners, demon brat."
You roll your eyes and extend your hand to Batman. You say your name, smiling.
"It's an honor to meet you, sir," you say.
Batman laughs, and it sounds a little fond. It's also kind of weird to hear Batman laugh. "No sir necessary. It's equally an honor to meet the person my son is marrying."
Jason makes a choked little noise. You beam.
"Well," Batman murmurs. "We'll let you two get home. We'll track down the rest of Michael's thugs—"
"Come to the wedding," Jason blurts.
Batman stills. "Me?" he asks carefully.
"Everybody," Jason says, tugging you into his side. "Uncle Clark, Aunt Diana, Selina, your ten thousand kids, everyone."
He turns to you. "I-I mean, as long as that's okay with you, baby."
"Oh, Jay. It's your family. Of course I want them to come." You lean in to whisper in his ear. "I'm proud of you."
"Little Wing, c'mere!"
Nightwing tackles Jason in a hug, then drags Robin, who protests loudly, in by his cape. Spoiler snaps a picture from the sideline.
"Now that's adorable," she says.
Batman looks at you. He removes his cowl, and you gasp quietly. He smiles, and it makes him look decades younger. You guess he hasn't smiled much since he lost Jason.
"Thank you," he says.
You tilt your head. "For what?"
"For bringing him back to us."
You duck your head. "Oh, Mr. Wayne, that wasn't me—"
"Bruce," he corrects gently. "And it was. You played a bigger part than you know. You saved him. Thank you."
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arkaiveofurown · 4 days ago
Text
Love Against Justice
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Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Reader
tags: angst, major character death
You were born into justice— Admiral Akainu’s perfect daughter, raised to obey, to believe that fire could burn the world clean. But then you met him.
Portgas D Ace. Son of the Pirate King. Wild, golden-eyed, and free. He showed you a world beyond orders, beyond duty—a world where you could choose.
You weren’t supposed to love him. He wasn’t supposed to matter. But on the night you met, everything changed.
And when the war came, you had to make the hardest choice of all.
Stand by your father…
Or die for the man who taught you how to live.
Word count: ~4,500 words
my masterlist here ♡
——
The island was supposed to be quiet—just another checkpoint. You were out past curfew, your boots light on the sand, the stars above your only company.
Until he spoke.
“You shouldn’t be walking around here in that uniform, you know. Might give someone ideas.”
You froze, hand hovering over your sword. But the voice wasn’t threatening—just amused.
From the shadows, a man stepped forward. Black tattoo on his back. Orange hat. The moment your eyes met his golden ones, something in your chest shifted.
“Portgas D. Ace,” you said carefully.
He tilted his head. “And you are… a Vice Admiral’s brat?”
You stiffened. “Admiral. I’m his daughter.”
He let out a low whistle. “Didn’t expect Sakazuki to have a kid. You don’t have his scowl.”
Your lips twitched, despite yourself. “I get that a lot.”
He smiled then, soft and crooked. “So what’s a good little Marine doing walking alone?”
“I could ask you the same. You’re a wanted man.”
“And yet,” he said, stepping closer, “you haven’t drawn your blade.”
You didn’t. You couldn’t. For some reason, looking at him didn’t feel like facing an enemy.
“I’m not here to fight.”
He looked up at the stars. “Good. Neither am I.”
That night stretched longer than you expected—two hours of talking by the water’s edge. About justice. About pirates. About fathers.
“You trying to make yours proud?” he asked, picking up a shell and tossing it into the waves.
“…Yes.”
He turned to you, serious now. “You know that’s not living, right?”
Your voice faltered. “Then what is?”
He chuckled softly, plucking up another shell. “Living is… waking up and knowing the choices you’re making are your own. Not someone else’s. Not your father’s.”
You stared down at the water. “It’s not that simple. I was raised to believe in justice. That pirates were evil. That anything less than total obedience is weakness.”
Ace didn’t laugh this time. He just nodded. “Sounds lonely.”
You blinked at him. “It is.”
“Then why keep doing it?”
You sighed, fingers curling into fists at your sides. “Because it’s all I’ve ever known. Because I thought if I could just be strong enough, obedient enough, perfect enough—maybe he’d actually look at me like I mattered. Like I wasn’t just another soldier in his fleet.”
Ace was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “You matter without any of that. You shouldn’t have to bleed yourself dry just to earn scraps of love.”
The words hit too hard, too fast. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re free. You get to be who you are. You’re not being crushed under your last name.”
He tilted his head. “You think freedom means not being weighed down? I’ve spent most of my life wondering if I even deserve to exist. Carrying my father’s name like a curse I never asked for.”
You looked at him, startled. “Your father?”
Ace looked away, a shadow in his gaze. “Gol D. Roger. The Pirate King.”
You swallowed. “But that means—”
“Yeah,” he said. “Everyone thinks I should be something—good or evil, depends who you ask. But none of them care what I want. They only see what I was born from.”
You stared at him, quiet now.
Ace sat down in the sand, arms resting on his knees. “So yeah. I know a little about trying to run from your blood. Or trying to live up to something impossible. But trust me… it never works. Either way, you lose yourself.”
You sat beside him slowly, the sea breeze brushing your face. “Then what do I do?”
He turned to you gently. “Start small. What do you want? Not as a Marine. Not as Sakazuki’s daughter. Just… you.”
You hesitated, breath catching in your throat. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” he said quietly. “Knowing you don’t know—that’s a hell of a start.”
You looked at him then, really looked. At the man who was supposed to be your enemy. Who was offering you more kindness in an hour than your father had in years.
“Why are you telling me all this?” you asked.
He gave a crooked smile. “Because you looked like someone who needed to hear it. And maybe… because I wish someone had said it to me when I was younger.”
You didn’t respond. You just sat there with him, watching the waves roll in.
The wind stirred your hair, the ocean licking at your boots.
“I want to see you again,” you whispered, surprising even yourself.
Ace blinked—then nodded. “Then we will. One day.”
That night, there was a pull between the two of you—something magnetic, impossible to ignore. Without a word, Ace closed the space between you, his hand finding yours, warm and calloused, his fingers intertwining with yours.
You didn’t pull away.
He kissed you then, a soft press of lips that deepened slowly as the tension between you both flared into something more. There was no rush—only the pressing need to feel alive, to be seen, to be wanted. You kissed him back, hands gently threading into his dark hair, your heart racing in a way that felt both terrifying and freeing.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, the stars above you like silent witnesses to something new and raw. Ace’s eyes were dark, but his smile was soft.
“You’re not alone,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against your cheek, a promise in the quiet of the night.
You didn’t say anything, just nodded, letting his words sink in.
There, under the stars, wrapped in each other’s arms, you found something unexpected. You weren’t sure where it would lead, or if it would survive the world that lay ahead. But for that moment, it was enough.
“I’ll see you again,” you whispered, a promise between the two of you.
He nodded, the faintest glimmer of hope in his eyes. “One day.”
——
Marineford roared like a monster of steel and flame. Cannons fired. Blood painted the sea red. Above it all stood your father, barking orders with magma on his fists.
You stood with the other officers, heart numb, until your eyes found him—Ace, shackled on the execution platform, chest heaving.
You couldn’t breathe.
You hadn’t meant to fall for him. But those nights thinking about his laugh, the way he listened—like you were more than your name…
He found you too. His gaze locked with yours, even from the distance. You couldn’t tell what emotion flickered behind his eyes. Recognition? Regret?
Was this the future he’d imagined for your reunion?
——
“You seem distracted.”
Your father’s voice cut through the storm like a knife.
You stiffened. “Just focused.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t lose yourself. This war is for justice. For order.”
You nodded, throat tight. He’d never ask if you were afraid. He’d only care that you stood tall.
But inside, you were already breaking.
“Father…” you tried, voice trembling. “What if there’s more to this than justice? What if—”
“SILENCE.”
His voice boomed like thunder. “There is no ‘what if.’ There is justice. There is crime. And there is fire to purge it.”
You turned away before he could see the doubt in your eyes.
——
When Luffy burst through the chaos, a part of you hoped he’d fail. Another part—the part that remembered moonlight and laughter—begged him to win.
And he did.
The chains broke. Ace stood free.
You ran before you could think.
He was there, coughing, dazed. You called his name. He turned.
“…You came.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I couldn’t let you die.”
He smiled, pain flickering across his face. “You always were too good for them.”
You touched his arm. “We have to go.”
But fate doesn’t care about love.
——
Admiral Aikanu stepped into your path —raw, unrelenting, and burning with hate. His coat billowed like smoke in the wind, and steam hissed off his molten fists. You saw the rage in his eyes before he even spoke. It was the same rage you’d grown up under, now aimed straight at the man you loved.
“Portgas D. Ace,” your father snarled. “You dare escape judgment?”
Ace instinctively pushed you behind him. “Stay back,” he said, voice low and urgent. “Don’t let him touch you.”
But you stepped forward, shoulder brushing his. “I’m not hiding, Ace. Not from him. Not anymore.”
Akainu’s eyes burned into yours. “So. You’ve chosen your side.”
His voice cracked like fire through stone.
“I chose it long before today,” you said, lifting your chin. “You just never wanted to see it.”
“You would throw away justice for him?” His voice seethed, disgust curling in his lip.
“I’m not throwing anything away,” you said. “I’m claiming what’s mine. My life. My choice.”
Akainu’s fists ignited with fury. Lava spilled from his knuckles, hissing as it hit the ground. “Then you’re no daughter of mine.”
Something broke in your chest—but it wasn’t grief. It was the last thread of fear.
Ace’s voice cut through the tension. “She was never yours to shape into a weapon.”
Akainu turned his wrath back toward him. “You speak of freedom while hiding behind her skirts?”
And then he moved.
His magma-coated fist blazed through the air toward Ace. Time slowed.
And without thinking, without hesitation—
You stepped in front of him.
——
The pain was instant. A white-hot agony tore through your side as the lava smashed into you. You felt yourself being thrown back into Ace’s arms, the world tilting, fire blooming across your vision like a dying sun.
You were weightless and heavy at once.
“No!” Ace caught you, stumbling as he dropped to his knees. His hands trembled, cradling you like you were glass already cracking. “Y/N—no. No, no, no…”
Your blood was everywhere. On his arms, on your uniform, soaking into the dirt.
Your breathing came in ragged gasps, and yet—you smiled.
“Why…?” he choked out, eyes wild and wet. “Why would you do that?”
You reached up with shaking fingers to brush his cheek. “Because I love you.”
He held you tighter, pressing his forehead to yours. “You weren’t supposed to die for me. You were supposed to live. With me. You were supposed to live.”
Your voice was barely a whisper. “I know… I wanted that too.”
“Then why—why—”
“Because this was my choice,” you said, voice thin but steady. “Not my father’s. Not the Marines’. Mine.”
He shook his head violently, tears spilling freely. “You idiot… you beautiful, stubborn idiot…”
You tried to smile again, even as the cold crept in. “This… this is freedom. I finally got to decide what I’d give my life for.”
Ace was sobbing now, arms wrapped around you like he could hold your soul in. “No. No, don’t go—please, Y/N…”
You leaned closer, eyes fluttering shut. “Live, Ace. Please. Not for him. Not for Whitebeard. For you.”
Your fingers slipped from his, and the last thing you saw was the sky—vast, open, free.
And Ace—broken, holding you like the world had ended.
Behind him, your father stood still. Staring. Silent. Like even fire had forgotten how to burn.
——
They say Ace fought like hell that day.
They say he screamed your name like a prayer turned curse, tearing through enemy lines with fire that scorched even the sea-slick stone beneath his feet. Magma met flame, and still, he stood. Burning. Bleeding. Unstoppable.
They say it took Luffy, broken and battered, to drag him back—his brother’s arms locked around his chest as he screamed and kicked and sobbed. They say Ace didn’t want to run. That he wanted to die there, next to you.
But Luffy wouldn’t let him.
Not after you had already made that choice.
After the war, Ace disappeared from the public eye. But everyone in Whitebeard’s crew knew where he went.
The first place he returned to was your grave.
Buried quietly, anonymously, far from Marine monuments or war heroes. Your marine pin sat at the headstone, cleaned and polished. And on it was carved only what Ace asked for:
“She died free.”
He stayed there for hours the first time. Maybe days. No one knows what he said. But when he came back, something in him had changed.
He still laughed. Still drank. Still threw his arm around Thatch and teased Marco and got into brawls with the crew. But the light in his eyes had shifted.
He lived like a man with a fire he couldn’t put out.
Every time the Moby Dick passed through a new island, he asked for any news of the Marine girl with the burning eyes and the fireproof heart. Every time he met someone who believed they were born into chains, he told your story.
Not to make them mourn you.
But to remind them what choice could look like.
“Don’t live trying to prove yourself to people who will never see you,” he’d say. “She taught me that.”
He never said your name out loud. Not often. It hurt too much. But your memory followed him like a shadow—like the steady heat of a fire that never died.
Sometimes, when he thought no one was watching, he’d take the small locket he wore under his shirt—a single photo of you, tucked behind a scrap of your old Marine uniform—and whisper,
“I’m still burning for you.”
And he was.
Not for Whitebeard. Not for revenge.
For you.
Because if someone like you—born into war, raised under fire—could choose love in the end…
Then he could choose life.
Just as he was.
And he would live every day the way you wanted him to:
Free.
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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 1 year ago
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9: NEW DAWN
Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter
You and Bucky deal with the fallout of the undercover mission.
Word count 3.3k
Warnings: reader coming to terms with Bucky's decision, trying to move forwards, betrayal, more miscommunication, anger, Bucky Barnes acting like a giant tool, Daisy Johnson and Melinda May make an appearance
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The next morning you woke early, determined to carry out your plan. Slipping out of the compound, you drove out of the parking garage in one of the convertibles with the top down and wind blowing through your hair. It was freezing cold and you knew it was reckless because it looked like the heavens would open at any minute, but you didn’t care. You arrived at Coulson Academy just as several large raindrops started to fall, and you sniffed slightly from the cold air. Putting the top up, you got out of the car and ran for shelter under the large awning of the Academy entrance.
"Ugh!" You stopped to flick off the water from your jacket.
"Subtle entrance." Melinda May’s voice startled you.
You jumped out of your skin. "Jeez, May! Why do you always have to lurk around?"
"Wasn’t lurking. Just waiting for you."
"How did you know I was coming?"
"I heard about what happened."
"Steve?" you asked.
"Romanoff."
Of course it had been Nat. She knew everything that happened, she knew exactly what you would do. Maybe you ought to have talked to her before leaving.
"Why didn’t you stop me?" you asked.
"Because I knew you needed to make this decision on your own," May replied calmly. "And I knew you would come here eventually."
You sighed, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "I don’t know if I’m making the right choice."
May placed a hand on your shoulder. "There is no right choice here. You need to take care of yourself for once, instead of putting everyone else’s needs before yours. Teaching at the Academy is something you would be good at. You have so much to offer, and… I believe in you."
You looked up at her, grateful for her support. She wasn’t one for heart to heart conversations, preferring to ignore her emotions altogether. "Thank you, May. I just wish it didn’t have to end this way with Bucky."
May gave you a knowing look, she knew exactly how you felt without you having to explain it to her. "Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I'll be there to help you every step of the way."
"Can I stay with you for a while?"
May rolled her eyes, "fine."
You wrapped your arms around her in a quick hug. "You’re the best. I love you."
*
Natasha was waiting for you when you returned, lounging across the hood of one of the Porches, filing her nails.
"Tony won’t be best pleased if he sees you like that."
"I’m not too worried about Tony. I have more important things on my mind."
"Yeah?" you asked, knowing full well where the conversation was going.
"What happened last night?"
"Didn’t Steve tell you?"
"Rogers?" she scoffed. "He has no idea what he’s talking about half the time."
You looked around for signs of anyone nearby. The risk of having someone overhear your conversation was making you feel very uncomfortable. Natasha pulled you into a secluded corner with a view of the rest of the garage and gave you a very pointed look requesting that you spilled the beans. But somehow the words you wanted to choose made the problem seem trivial. So instead of telling her about all the events that had transpired, you kept it simple.
"He chose her. Apparently there isn't enough room in his life for both of us," you shrugged.
"Steve told me what she did." Your gaze snapped to Nat’s face, but her returning expression was angry. "I don’t understand why you didn’t tell him."
"It’s my word against hers, Nat. I have no proof that she took my idea. What am I supposed to say? His reaction last night proves that he doesn’t trust me." You sighed dismally.
"Do you need me to beat some sense into him?"
You smiled sadly at your friend.
"Sweetie, you need to tell him how you feel," she continued.
"I think it’s too late for that. I’ve made my decision."
"I can’t do anything to change your mind?"
"Please Nat," you pleaded. "This is hard enough."
She put her arms around your neck, leaning her forehead against yours. "But I’ll miss you."
"I’ll miss you too." You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug, trying not to let the tears start falling again. Eventually you pulled away, steeling yourself for the next step; telling Steve and Tony about your resignation.
*
As you made your way back into the compound, you caught sight of your best friend in the gym. He was pummeling a punching bag like he wanted to murder it.
You gathered every ounce of courage within you and approached Bucky, desperate to reconcile and recapture the bond you once shared. But as you reached out to touch his arm, he recoiled, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and hurt.
"Bucky, please. I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way-"
"I thought I knew you, but I feel like I don’t know you anymore," he said, his voice laced with sorrow. "I know how you feel about Priya-"
"Buck-"
"I can see it in your face. But I never thought you could be so spiteful."
Your heart, already shattered, fractured further still, and the tears you had held back cascaded down your cheeks. Your friendship, once unbreakable, seemed irretrievable. Bucky turned his back on you, leaving you broken, lost in a sea of regret and longing.
*
After drying your tears, you found Tony and Steve in the common area, deep in conversation. Taking a breath, you approached them, your voice steady but filled with emotion. "Tony, Steve, I need to talk to you both."
Tony looked up, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong, Cricket?"
You hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I... I need to resign from the Avengers."
Tony's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?"
You took a moment to gather your thoughts before explaining. "I could make up some logistical excuse but you'll both know it's a lie. It's... it's because of Bucky. I can't continue to work alongside him knowing how I feel and knowing that he's with someone else. It's too painful for me."
Tony and Steve exchanged a knowing look before Steve spoke up. "We understand Cricket. We've seen how hard this has been for you. But are you sure this is what you want?"
You nodded, tears threatening to spill over. "I can't stay here and pretend everything is okay when it's not. I need to take a step back and figure things out."
Steve placed a comforting hand on your shoulder but he looked like he was at a loss for words. So he took the professional route of comfort. "You're a valuable member of the team."
"Stay, we can find you another partner." Tony stood up, coming over to you. "I can’t just let you go without a fight."
You smiled weakly, grateful for their understanding. "Thank you, Steve. And thank you, Tony. But I just need some time to myself."
As you turned to leave, Tony called out to you. "Hey Sport, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out. We're here for you."
You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. It was time to focus on yourself and your own happiness, even if it meant leaving behind the life you had known as an Avenger. And maybe, just maybe, you would find a way to move on from Bucky and find your own path to happiness.
You'd barely taken three steps out of the common room before Steve caught up with you. "Have you spoken to him?"
"If you call ‘him telling me he doesn't even know who I am and then storming off’ speaking, then yes. I don't understand how this happened, Steve. I thought nothing could get between us."
"He loves you." Steve stopped in front of you. 
"Not anymore. He hates me."
Steve couldn't help but feel frustrated by how his two best friends could be so oblivious. 
"Look Steve, I'm sorry, I know Bucky’s your best friend. You don't need to hear me bad mouthing him." You stepped around him, making your way back to your room.
"Cricket, you're my friend too." Steve chased after you.
"Then will you help me pack?"
Steve sighed, he would never refuse anyone’s request for help. "Of course."
*
It hadn’t taken you long to pack your things into boxes. Your clothes weren’t difficult to shove into suitcases. Your wardrobe wasn’t extensive, having learned to live out of small spaces for many years, material things weren’t quite on your list of necessities. You had let Tony decorate your walls to his taste and you’d been pleasantly surprised at how good he was at guessing your tastes. However, you’d decided not to take these things with you when you left. It was time for you to make your own home. It was going to be a new challenge, you’d been involved with large institutions ever since you’d left home, and had never had to create a home for yourself before.
You turned to face Steve, Sam, and Nat, who were all standing in your room, looking at you with concern in their eyes.
"Come on, sugar cakes. Isn’t there any way we can convince you to stay?" Sam asked.
"I appreciate the sentiment, guys, but I need to do this," you said, zipping up your suitcase.
"Cricket, you’re too valuable a member of the team," Steve said, stepping forward.
"You know that’s just not true, but thank you for saying that. But I just can’t stay here knowing that Bucky’s mad at me," you replied, feeling a sting in your chest at the thought of leaving your best friend behind.
"Bucky will come around, he always does," Sam chimed in, trying to reassure you.
"I don’t think so, not this time. He’s really upset with me," you said, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.
Nat walked over to you and put a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Cricket, you can’t just leave because of this. You’re stronger than that."
You shook your head, wiping away a tear. "I can’t stay here, Nat. It’s too painful."
"We understand, but we don’t want you to go," Steve said, his voice filled with emotion.
"I know, but I have to do this. Please, don’t tell Bucky I’m leaving. I need to do this on my own terms," you pleaded, wondering if Bucky would even notice your absence.
The three of them exchanged a look before nodding in agreement. "Okay, we won’t tell him. But promise us you’ll keep in touch," Sam said.
You nodded, feeling grateful for their understanding. "I promise. Thank you, guys. I’ll miss you all."
You were the last to leave your room, the others had carried your things to the van you were borrowing from the garage. You sighed, you would miss the luxury and convenience that came with being a member of the Avengers Initiative. There were only a few things left in your room; the wolf plushie Steve had won you at Coney Island, you later realized that it reminded you of Bucky, and the still wrapped gift you had bought for Bucky, the card you’d written him still stuck to the top. There was no reason to take those things with you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. You decided to leave them on your bed. The next owner of the room could decide what to do with them.
On your way out, you ambled past the hangar bay, spotting Bucky in full tactical gear prepping for a mission. You had no idea that he had been assigned to something. 
"You have a mission?" you blurted out, causing Bucky to turn to you.
"Yes." His voice was monosyllabic.
"Alone?"
"No."
"No, with me." Sharon materialized suddenly.
"Oh, hey Sharon. I hope you guys are safe out there."
Bucky looked back at you, a fleeting look of regret crossed his face, before he turned and walked away. He didn’t waste any time requesting a new partner, you thought. Just when you thought he couldn’t hurt you anymore. At least he would be safe with her; Sharon was a good agent, she would watch his back, that’s what mattered the most.
As you walked out of the compound, you felt a mix of sadness and relief. It was time to start a new chapter in your life, even if it meant leaving behind the Avengers and the man you loved. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but you were determined to make it work. And maybe, just maybe, one day Bucky would understand why you had to go.
*
Your friend, Daisy Johnson stopped by for a visit just after you had moved into your new apartment. You hadn’t seen her for a few years, since she had decided to travel the stars with her sister, Kora and now boyfriend, Daniel Sousa. She had insisted on coming over to your place, since May had insisted that you find your independence.
"So tell me, what’s the deal with your love life?" Daisy enquired after her third glass of wine.
"What love life?" you asked, sarcastically.
She laughed, "oh come on! You’ve been living in a building with all those Avengers! You can’t tell me that it’s all completely innocent!"
"Hey, just because you fell in love with your first S.O.!"
"Ouch! That’s a low blow! It’s not my fault Ward turned out to be a HYDRA psychopath!"
"No, he was out of this world."
"Literally!"
Both of you laughed, despite the pain that was associated with the memories of the parasitic inhuman who had infested and possessed the corpse of your dead traitorous colleague and used his body to control other inhumans. Sometimes there was nothing else to do but laugh.
"So, are you telling me that you haven’t gotten any sex since you moved in there?"
You shrugged.
"Not even Bucky Barnes? Like have you seen him?" Daisy had always expressed her attraction to your favorite super soldier, but she stopped as she noticed the change in your expression. "What is it? Did something happen with him?"
"No," you shook your head.
"Then why did you leave?"
You shrugged.
"Come on, spill. May wouldn’t tell me. But it’s got something to do with him, right?" Daisy scrutinized your face, coming to sit beside you. "Did he hurt yo-?"
"NO!" you responded before she had the chance to finish. "Not like that."
"But he did something."
"Bucky’s my best friend." You said, not being able to muster enough enthusiasm into your words for them to be believable.
"But?"
"We just clicked, you know? Right from the start. It was like we were made to be partners. We could share everything with each other, we knew what the other person was going to do in the field without even discussing it. But outside of that too, I felt like I could share anything with him. I even told him about…"
You didn’t have to explain yourself further, Daisy Johnson was the only other living person in the world who knew about the sexual abuse you had suffered as a teen. You had never told a soul when you had been an adolescent, fearing that you wouldn’t be believed, which had led to a lifetime of shame and a stigma of being seen as broken. But secrets often come out, whether you want them to or not. And during a mission, the man who had been responsible for your trauma was involved. Eventually your secrets had surfaced, no matter how deep you buried them, but Daisy had been there for you.
"But I thought there might be something more between us, something… as hard as I tried… I couldn't deny - I was… am in love with him."
"You are?"
"I never told him how I felt. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. But it feels like fate had other plans and he started dating Priya. I was happy for him, of course, but deep down, I couldn't help but feel … jealous.
"And as his relationship with Priya went on, I just found myself feeling more and more envious. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else being with him, especially when I knew how I felt. But I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting to cause any trouble." You sighed.
"What changed? What made you leave?"
"Bucky's birthday. I spent weeks planning the perfect gift for him, something that would show him how much he meant to me. But before I could give it to him, Priya just swooped in and stole my idea, presenting it to Bucky as if she had come up with it on her own.
"Bucky was thrilled with the gift, but when he turned to me expecting something from me, I- I didn’t know what to do. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that Priya had taken my idea, so I stayed silent. Daisy, he was so angry and hurt, thinking that I didn't care enough about him to get him a gift.
"In the end, he chose Priya over me, believing that she cared for him more. He said he loved her based on something I came up with! And I tried to apologize and explain, but he didn't … doesn’t want to hear it. He said felt like he never knew me, like our friendship had been a lie. Now he doesn’t even want me in his life!"
Daisy put her arms around your neck, pulling your head onto her shoulder. The wine had loosened your tongue and talking through what had happened was helping you to truly understand what had happened.
"I can’t believe this bitch!" Daisy muttered in your ear. "Want me to quake her for you?"
You let out a watery chuckle. "I just feel so alone. I know that it’s my own doing, I could have told him how I felt. I could hardly blame her at first, she had no idea. But now…I fucking hate Priya for coming between us, for stealing my chance at happiness with Bucky." You scoffed at your own words. "You know, deep down, I knew that it was my own fear and jealousy that had drove us apart in the first place. I let my feelings get in the way of our friendship, and now I’ve lost the one person who means the world to me." Talking to Daisy had given you time to take stock and really process what you had lost.
"So what’re you going to do now?" Daisy asked.
"What am I supposed to do, Daisy?"
"Let him cool off and try again!"
"And say what exactly? Take me back as your friend? I’m in love with you? He clearly doesn’t feel the same way, so what am I achieving other than getting hurt watching him being happy with someone else?"
"You could come with me, Kora and Daniel. We’re heading back off-world next week."
"And watch you and Daniel making those lovey-dovey faces at each other all day? Thanks, but I think I’ll pass."
"So you’re just going to teach? With May?"
"Yeah," you shrugged. "Teach and wallow about my sad, loveless life."
"You know I love you, right?" Daisy pouted at you.
You laughed, "yeah, I love you too."
Once Daisy left, you continued to think about Bucky. You missed the easy camaraderie you once shared with him, the way you could finish each other’s sentences and laugh until your sides hurt. But now, there was a distance between you that seemed insurmountable. Bucky had made his choice and you were left to pick up the shattered pieces of your friendship. You wondered if he ever truly understood how much you cared for him, how much he meant to you.
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acowardinmordor · 2 years ago
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You Left Me, You Miss Me - Five
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five
Continuing immediately from part Four. And I hear your screaming, and enjoy it, but I am pretty sure that I'm not going the direction you expect me to.
------
“Huh?”
“I asked them to,” Eddie repeated, quieter.
It didn’t make more sense the second time.  His kids were stubborn. They were obnoxious, and someone asking them to do, or not do something had never once changed anything. Steve spent the last few years asking them not to leave crumbs in his car, and to call before coming over, and to please, just once, let him choose the movie on a movie night. Plus the part where everyone asked them not to put themselves in danger when monsters crawled out of the ground. 
Threats didn’t work on them, law enforcement didn’t work on them, like hell was something as delicate as asking going to do a damn thing. 
“Yeah, no, I heard you, but I don’t get it. So you, what? You sat them down and asked them to ice me out? And they said ‘sure why not!’ Man, even if you asked them to, they’re still the ones that did it. Shit, you’ve never liked me. There’s no way that you didn’t tell the boys to stop hanging out with me last year during your game meetings before everything happened.” Eddie shrank further into the seat, so Steve added, “So, it’s not your fault, but I guess I forgive you if that makes you feel better.”
Eddie gnawed on the inside of his cheek, wincing at what felt like every other word.
“Shit, Steve, it’s -- Shit,” he cursed as he sloshed some of his coffee over the brim. His eyes were clenched shut, and he was curled in on himself. “I didn’t sit them down and tell them to stop talking to you. That -- no way that would work. You’re right. They wouldn’t just -- Like I said, they’re crazy about you. It’s more, it’s all of the, I told them about how ever since -- shit. Look, it doesn’t matter why or how I did it, just trust me, I’m the reason. It’s my fault, and I fucked up, and I didn’t mean it to make -- but you left, and it’s killing them, and so you gotta forgive them, at least talk to them, cause its not their fault.”
“Yeah,” Steve stalled, “still don’t get why you think this is on you, dude.”
“At the beginning it -- shit, no. Doesn’t matter. Jesus Christ, Munson, don’t make this about that. Okay. I asked them not to invite you if I was around, cause I wasn’t -- I didn’t want to see you, and then I made sure they were always around me because -- because I wanted them to. And then I, you know, kept poking at them about it when they’d bring it up, reminding them that you don’t like D&D and that you wouldn’t want to watch the new Star Trek movie, and when they said anything I just kept telling them that -- Shit, just believe me. I’m the one that made them do this, it’s my fault, it’s not them.”
Okay, so Eddie was pushier since Spring Break than he was before it. Or the kids listened to him more. Or they were trying to take care of him. So Eddie was the prompt for them cutting him out of everything. Fine.
Still didn’t make it the guy’s fault. 
Steve got close with Robin after she found out about the Upside Down. But he didn’t get close to Jonathan. Dustin became, for a while at least, his brother. Steve would die for Mike, but they didn’t hang out if it wasn’t a group thing. All of them were tied together, and any one of them could make a call, and everyone would come to help, but that didn’t make them all automatically into friends. 
God, Eddie looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown in a booth in a diner. 
“Look, it’s,” Steve spun his coffee cup, “you’re real close with the guys in your club right? The ones in your band?”
Eddie went tense, then nodded awkwardly.
“You’re close because of that stuff, though. Not just cause you had some classes together or were next to each other on a bus. You got pushed together for some random reason, but  that happened with a lot of people. But you had shared interests, right? You like that game, and you got bullied at school and you like the same loud screaming music. So you got to know each other, and you had a bunch in common, and so you guys are friends. You’re close, so even though you graduated, and you don’t have class and lunch together anymore, you’re still friends.
“Christ, Steve, no,” he protested. 
Steve ignored that and kept going.
“I never had that with the kids, or any of them. Shit. Never had that with Nance either, but I didn’t know it back then.” His inner Robin glared, and he stayed on topic. “It wasn’t as simple as sharing some classes, there were monsters and all that, but that’s what kept me and them around each other. No more monsters now, so.”
His stomach twisted, like it always did if he got too close to thinking about this. 
He only barely managed to talk about this with Robin, because when it was Robin he was honest, and when he was honest, really honest, he ended the night quiet and hurting and picking apart the past year trying to find what he could have done differently. Shoving all of that back into the dark of his mind, he conjured up a casual shrug and a smile. 
“I get that they’re probably freaking out right now, but they’ll get over it. Give it another month or two and it’ll be fine. Start one of your campaign -- your big story things and distract them if they’re bugging you about it.” 
He wiped up the coffee Eddie spilled on instinct, and shoved the napkin in his now empty cup. 
Time to get home and get a nap before he went to the stockroom that night. He wouldn’t see Robin until he picked her up for work, but they were scheduled alone, so he could talk all of this through then. Trying to pretend this day didn’t happen would last all of eight seconds of contact with his best friend. Maybe she could make sense of how he was feeling. 
“Wait, stop, you can’t leave yet.”
“Munson, I’ve been here since before dawn, I wanna leave.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but you have to talk to them. They miss you.”
“They didn’t six weeks ago, did they? Or for the holidays? Or for the months before that, huh?” Steve finally snapped, then took a breath. “Sorry. Answer’s still no.”
He bussed their cups and the creamer to the pass through and grabbed his coat and gloves. Steam rose off Hopper’s truck where he had the engine running to keep warm. They exchanged a single nod before Steve turned towards the road to walk home. 
“Steve!” 
It wasn’t a shock to hear, but Steve had hoped that Eddie wouldn’t follow. 
“Okay, I get that you’re not going to just forgive them, and that you don’t want to talk to them, but--”
“No. I don’t. And I know you think this is your fault, and I’m telling you it’s not, and I told you, I’m not mad at you about this. We weren’t friends. I’m not mad at you for not wanting me around or whatever. That’s fine. And? They’ll get over it, and everyone can just move on with their lives with the people they actually like.”
Steve’s stupid voice betrayed him, cracking, and he cut off the rest of what he might have said. Anger was the fastest way to shut down weakness, and it was easy for him to sink into it.  
Eddie had his hands in his hair, clutching at it near his temples, looking borderline hysterical. 
“Would you at least listen if they talked?”
“They don’t have my phone number, and if you tell them where I live, I’ll send Mrs Buckley after you. And Hopper.”
“You could call them.”
“No.”
It wasn’t about who placed the call. If he heard them, if they said a fraction of what he wanted to hear, he’d cave, immediately and entirely, and then both the real life Robin, and the mini Robin in his brain would give him hell. 
“Steve come on, something, anything. Letters? If they write letters?”
“I’m not giving them my address, and Hopper already asked about mailing stuff through him instead. No.”
It was cold and he was tired. Just about the only person in the party that he didn’t care had abandoned him was trying to pull Steve back into the vat of slow simmering pain he was still climbing out of. 
“Look, Eddie --”
“I’ll drive them. The letters. You don’t even have to answer, or read them. Let me tell them that I can bring you letters, and I’ll drive them up here. If you do want to answer I’ll wait and then drive whatever it is back. As many times as you want.”
“Come on, man.”
“I won’t even -- I don’t have to know where you live, or your number, anything. I can come here. To the diner. Won’t even come inside, just drop them off and wait. You won’t have to talk to me, or see me. Just, come on. Even if you never forgive them, or answer them, let them have this. Even if you don’t read what they say, let them think they got to apologize.”
The wind shifted, and Steve tucked his chin into his coat to wait it out. 
Eddie was shivering two steps away, gloveless hands shoved under his arms, hair tangling into more of a mess than usual. 
“That’s a stupid idea, Munson,” he said when the gust stopped, “If they know that you know where I am, and you don’t tell them, they’re going to hate you. They’d drive you insane trying to get you to tell them, and they’d be horrible the whole time. They already ditched me for you, so, don’t make them hate you too.”
“They already hate me.” The response was immediate and defeated.
“Dude, they don’t.”
“They do. They figured it out a few weeks ago. That I was the reason. Just cause you don’t get it doesn’t mean they don’t. This is my fault. They already hate me. They won’t even talk to me long enough to yell. They act like I don’t exist.”
“Christ, Munson, is that why you’re up here, freezing your ass off in a parking lot and bitching at me? So you can get them to like you by getting me to talk to them?”
Eddie flinched. Didn’t say anything for a minute as he shivered with wide eyes. Then, without any of the dramatics the guy was known for, “Please, Steve. Even if you throw them out right after. Let them write to you, and let me tell them the truth when I say you got them. I think they can survive if they don’t hear back. They’ll blame me, but that’s fine, they should. The silence is what’s killing them. They need to say how -- they need to believe that you heard how sorry they are.”
It was so fucking cold it was making Steve’s eyes water. That was the only reason for it. The cold front that came in overnight.
“I’m not gonna promise to read them,” he caved.
The tension collapsed out of Eddie, and he slumped forward, hiding his face in his hands. 
“I work here in the mornings Monday through Wednesday every week. You should drop them off then. M’not saying I’ll read them, or write anything back, but if they want to write, fine.” 
Eddie nodded over and over, hiding behind his hands, and whisper-mumbling something that Steve couldn’t catch. He was shaking again. The kind of full body wracking that meant the cold was sinking deep.
“Christ, go get in Hop’s truck before your fingers freeze off or something.” 
Without waiting for a response, or checking that he listened, Steve turned and kept walking. Another gust of wind tore through him, loud enough that he wouldn’t have heard another call of his name. It was a good thing that John messed up the big combo that morning, and Steve had eaten it during the lull after breakfast. He wasn’t going to manage anything else until tomorrow at the earliest. 
That was assuming Robin didn’t kill him on the spot for his stupid, stupid decision. 
Ten steps down the road, and he already regretted it. Even if he didn’t read anything, even if they never sent anything, the choice would sit like a rock in his gut; a new ache, a new bruise, and Steve was dumb enough that he’d keep poking at it. 
---
I'm sad that this is two chapters without Robin. That's some kind of a crime. Can guarantee that Robin has Strong Opinions about this when she talks to Steve that night.
I don't do tag lists or regular updates, and I have no shame about that.
>>>>>Part Six
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