#and yeah he stumbles a bit especially in the first season or 2 but he is so quick to reassure her or just uuuuh

[dreadfuldevotee]

Rewatched Practice Makes Perfect today and like...once again floored by even when Anakin's being hard on her he is trying sooo hard to be good to Ahsoka. The way his voice rises and he's basically pleading with her to understand that he is trying to help her in the only way he knows how...

[jzprncess]

love language by sza

“help me understand how you speak your love language ”

pairing: Max Verstappen x Y/N reader

part 1/2 next part

word count: 2,823

summary: a girlfriend of a successful f1 driver decides to learn Dutch to better understand her boyfriends world—his culture, his emotions, and the language he speaks—hoping to connect more deeply and navigate the complexities of their high-speed, high-pressure relationship.

note: first time writing a fan fiction so be nice please! i don’t know how to work tumblr to the fullest so if you want to requests anything, message it to me! this will be in two parts! please leave comments so i know im doing something right!!

　　　　　　 ❛ ━━･♡❪ ❁ ❫♡･━━ ❜

Out of all the unexpected turns her life had taken, learning another language was never on Y/N's radar. Yet, here she was, grappling with the complexities of Dutch, staring at her laptop screen during a Zoom call with her tutor, Anne. They had been chatting frequently, especially while Max was off competing in a grueling triple-header race weekend.

Before he left, Y/N had noticed the shadow of frustration in Max's eyes, a rare shift from his usually upbeat demeanor. It wasn’t lost on her—or anyone, really. The weight of the season’s challenges had begun to press down on him, making his once confident posture seem a little more hunched, his usual optimism now clouded by self-doubt. Everyone could see it. With the way the season had started, Max had envisioned triumph. But now, in October, his hopes felt distant. He hadn’t clinched a victory since June, and every reminder of that fact only seemed to add to his frustration. Y/N wished she could lift that burden, even if just for a moment.

In an attempt to brighten his spirits, she decided to do something special for him—a gesture that would help him escape the pressure he was under. The very day he departed, Y/N found herself scouring the internet, searching for someone who could teach her some basic Dutch. Max, ever the romantic, had always whispered sweet phrases in his native tongue—whether it was giving her a compliment or simply wishing her a good morning. And though she often required translations, Y/N thought, Why not learn the language myself? It couldn’t be that difficult, right?

And so, here she was, earnestly trying to master the phrase “I love you, handsome” in Dutch, yet somehow fumbling over the words.

“Y/N, your pronunciation is getting better, but you need to keep practicing,” Anne encouraged from the other side of the screen, her fingers dancing over her keyboard. The rhythmic sound of her typing seemed to fill the space between them, as if punctuating her words with gentle encouragement. “Have you taken my advice and started watching shows in Dutch? Immersing yourself in the language will really help you improve, especially with those tricky pronunciations.”

Y/N leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms, and stared at the screen, her lips pressing together as she tried to hold back the exhaustion creeping in. She had been working hard at this—between the classes, the practice, the late nights watching Dutch shows, and the constant racing schedule with Max, it was all starting to feel like a lot. “Yeah, I’ve been talking to the TV like it’s my best friend,” she said with a small, self-deprecating chuckle, her voice sounding a bit weary. “The characters probably think I’m crazy by now. But, you know, I think I’m making progress? Or at least I hope I am.”

Anne’s eyebrows raised in an encouraging way. “Well, that’s the spirit! The more you immerse yourself, the more natural it will feel. Dutch can be tricky, especially with its sounds, but you’re not giving up, and that’s what matters.”

Y/N exhaled slowly, rubbing her temples. It had been one of those days—between working on the language and managing the quiet space Max left behind when he was away, the weight of it all was starting to wear on her. “I don’t know... I keep stumbling over the same words, Anne. Like, I feel like I’m so close to getting it, but then I hear myself speak Dutch, and it just sounds... off. I’m trying, but it’s hard to know if I’m really improving.”

Anne smiled gently from the screen, as though she understood exactly where Y/N was coming from. “That’s completely normal. Language learning isn’t a straight path. There are ups and downs, but the key is to be patient with yourself. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. You’re already doing so much more than most people would.”

“I guess so.” Y/N’s voice softened, her eyes drifting away for a moment, lost in thought. “I just wish I could see it, you know? Max always speaks so fluently, and when he says something sweet in Dutch, it sounds so effortless. I want to understand it all, to be able to speak with him like that without stumbling or needing translations.”

Anne nodded, her face sympathetic. “I get that. You want to connect with him in the language that’s so familiar to him, and that’s a beautiful thing. But don’t forget, language is just one part of communication. Max will appreciate your effort no matter where you are in your learning. It’s about the intention, the heart behind it. And besides, if you’re working hard at it, he’ll see that.”

Y/N let out a small sigh, leaning forward in her chair and running a hand through her hair. “I just want him to know how much I’m trying. I know it’s hard for him when the season gets tough, and I want to be able to understand him better, not just the words, but how he’s feeling... especially when he gets frustrated. I want to be able to share those moments with him in his language.” She looked back up at Anne, a mixture of fatigue and determination in her eyes. "But it's like I'm still learning a whole new world, Anne. It's a lot to take in."

Anne’s expression softened even more. “Learning a language is like learning a new way to see the world. And you’re doing it for the right reasons. Max will notice that. Even if you don’t think you’re where you want to be yet, he’s going to appreciate your effort, your commitment to him and to his language. And you’re already showing him that you care in ways most people wouldn’t.”

Y/N gave a faint smile, feeling the weight of Anne’s words settle into her. She took another deep breath, her gaze flickering back to the screen. “I hope so. I’m doing this for him, and... for me, too. It’s just hard to see the progress sometimes when you’re so deep in it.”

“Well, keep at it, Y/N,” Anne encouraged again, her voice gentle but firm. “The progress is there, even when you can’t see it. And remember, when Max comes back, you’ll have a whole new way of connecting. That’s something special. Now, how about we wrap up for today, and next time, we focus on a few of those tricky sounds you’ve been stumbling over?”

Y/N nodded, the exhaustion beginning to fade as she felt a renewed sense of determination wash over her. "Yeah, let’s do that. Thanks, Anne. Really."

Anne smiled warmly, her tone softening. “Good night, Y/N. You’re doing great. Keep going, and keep believing in yourself.”

With that, the call ended, leaving Y/N in the quiet of her room. As the screen went dark, she sat still for a moment, letting Anne’s words settle into her. She still had a long way to go with Dutch, but now, she felt a little less weighed down by it all. She stood up from the desk, stretched, and with a deep breath, made her way to the kitchen. There was more to learn, yes, but she could do it. For Max. And for herself

This had become her routine for the past few weeks—immersing herself in a new language while navigating the emotional ups and downs of Max's racing career. Each night flowed into the next, filled with lessons and the hope that her efforts would spark joy in him when he returned. In a way, she couldn’t help but feel that this small adventure might not only help her connect with him in a deeper way but also serve as a reminder that even in tough times, he had someone in his corner—someone ready to support him and learn alongside him.

Time passed, and soon enough, the hectic three-race weekend was behind them.

Y/N wasn’t exactly sure when Max would be home. The unpredictable nature of his F1 schedule made it hard to keep track of his exact arrival time. As the hours stretched on, she decided to make the most of the quiet afternoon. She started by tidying up the house, picking up scattered race memorabilia and smoothing out the couch cushions, which always seemed to get tossed around after a long weekend of travel. The kitchen was next—dishes stacked in the sink, a few crumbs left from breakfast, and the faint scent of coffee lingering in the air. She cleaned with a kind of absent-minded rhythm, her thoughts drifting between the tasks at hand and the excitement of his return.

Not wanting to spend the whole day indoors, Y/N grabbed her coat, slipped into her shoes, and decided to run a few errands to break the monotony. She mentally made a list of things she needed—a trip to the grocery store for fresh produce, perhaps a quick stop at the florist to pick up some flowers for the dining table. The gentle hum of the city as she walked outside felt like a welcome distraction. As she moved through the familiar streets, her mind kept drifting to Max—imagining his arrival later that evening and wondering how he would feel after the intense race weekend. With a small smile, she pushed the thought aside. There were errands to run, and time had a way of slipping by faster when you were busy.

After a while, Y/N decided it was time to head back home, the errands and quiet city stroll leaving her feeling a bit more tired than usual. The exhaustion crept up slowly, settling into her bones in the best way—a peaceful kind of tiredness that made the thought of being home all the more appealing. Once she stepped inside, she kicked off her shoes by the door and shrugged off her jacket, instantly feeling the comfort of her own space wrap around her.

She sank onto the couch, letting the weight of the day melt away, but it wasn’t long before she found herself wanting to do something—something simple and familiar to bring a sense of warmth and routine to the day. The kitchen seemed like the perfect place. She stepped into the kitchen, the warmth of the space a comforting contrast to the quiet of the house. Her mind immediately wandered to dessert—something sweet to fill the silence. Pulling out her phone, she swiped through a few recipe sites, curiosity leading her fingers. After a moment, she typed "Dutch desserts" into the search bar. Her eyes quickly landed on appeltaart, the iconic Dutch apple pie. The thought of the rich, spiced apples wrapped in buttery crust made her stomach rumble. It was exactly what the moment called for.

With a smile, she set the phone down and rolled up her sleeves. The comforting hum of her favorite playlist began to fill the room, chasing away the silence and replacing it with familiar tunes. As the music flowed through the speakers, she started pulling ingredients from the pantry—flour, sugar, butter, and cinnamon. She paused for a moment, letting the soft beat of the song take over as she laid everything out on the counter. The scent of cinnamon already began to stir a feeling of warmth and anticipation.

With a deep breath, she moved into the rhythm of the recipe, the steady motion of measuring, mixing, and prepping grounding her. She could already picture the golden crust and warm, sweet filling that would soon fill the kitchen, and her heart swelled with a sense of simple joy.

As she hummed softly to the tune playing in the background, completely engrossed in the rhythm of her mixing and the warmth of the kitchen, she remained oblivious to Max stepping through the front door, his footsteps barely audible on the hardwood floor. Max paused for a moment, his eyes scanning the room before he crept quietly toward the kitchen, careful not to make a sound. He peeked around the corner, his gaze falling on you as you worked your magic, your movements fluid and focused. A smile tugged at his lips as the sweet scent of apple pie hit him, and he inhaled deeply, savoring the warm, comforting aroma that filled the air.

Max moved silently behind her, his steps light as he closed the distance between them. With a smile, he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. He rested his chin on her shoulder for a moment, savoring the warmth of her presence, before pressing a tender kiss to her soft skin. As he inhaled the sweet scent of the kitchen, his lips brushed her shoulder, and he murmured in a low, appreciative voice, "Smells amazing."

The unexpected touch causes her to flinch, a small gasp escaping her as she instinctively tenses, but her body quickly relaxes when she turns to find Max standing there. A soft smile tugs at her lips as she meets his gaze. "I didn't hear you come in," she murmurs, her voice gentle and warm as she leans slightly into his embrace, feeling the comforting weight of his presence. She glances toward the counter, her hands still lightly dusted with flour, and then looks back at him, her eyes sparkling with a mix of affection and pride. "I made apple—" Her words falter for a brief moment, and she pauses, taking a breath before finishing with a playful smile, "Ik heb appeltaart gemaakt." (i made apple pie) She lets the Dutch phrase roll off her tongue with a touch of pride, her eyes lighting up as she anticipates his reaction to the homemade treat and at the sudden Dutch.

Max chuckles, the sound warm and teasing. "Oh, dus je spreekt nu Nederlands?" (Oh, so you speak Dutch now?) His eyes narrow playfully as he takes her in, studying her with a hint of disbelief, almost as if he couldn't quite believe what he'd just heard. It takes a moment for her to process his words, the surprise registering on her face before a grin tugs at her lips. She lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head slightly as she meets his gaze. “Leren voor jou,” she responds with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, her voice light and teasing as she repeats the phrase—"Learning for you."

Max hums contentedly into her skin, his voice soft but filled with affection. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" His words are a gentle murmur, as though he's savoring the moment. She chuckles, the sound warm and light, as she wipes her hands on a nearby towel. Without missing a beat, she spins around, her eyes sparkling, and wraps her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I've missed you," she whispers into his chest, her voice filled with sincerity, as if the distance between them had only made her feelings stronger.

He gently pulls away, his hands lingering at her waist as he looks down at her, his eyes soft with affection. There’s a quiet warmth in his gaze, a tenderness that makes his heart swell with emotion. "I've missed you too," he murmurs, his voice low and sincere, the words wrapped in a quiet vulnerability. He smiles, a soft, almost teasing glint in his eyes as he adds, "Mijntje," (my little one), his tone filled with both love and playfulness. With a tender sigh, he leans down, his face drawing closer to hers. As he lowers himself, he brushes his lips gently against hers, the kiss soft and lingering, a promise of everything he feels for her in that quiet, intimate moment. 

She pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, her breath catching in the space between them. Her heart races, each beat carrying the weight of everything she feels for him. Her hands rest gently on his chest as she searches his gaze, finding warmth, safety, and a quiet promise there. With a soft sigh, she leans in just a little closer, her lips barely brushing his as she whispers, her voice trembling with sincerity, "Ik hou van jou."

The words, though soft, are heavy with all the emotions she can't quite put into words—years of trust, laughter, passion, and quiet moments, all wrapped in those simple yet profound syllables. His breath hitches, and a smile plays on his lips as he leans in, closing the small space between them with a kiss that feels like both a promise and a beginning. There’s a warmth radiating between them, an unspoken yearning that lingers in the air, electrifying yet restrained. The kiss deepens, lingering just a moment longer, igniting a flutter of anticipation in her chest—a taste of what could be. As they pull away, their eyes lock, and in that shared gaze lies a world of possibilities, a silent acknowledgment of the passion that awaits them.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

tag list : @heluvsjappie

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen X Celeb Ex!Reader -Angst.

Part 2, no warnings, just mentions of alcohol, reader gets really drunk, breaking up and arguing, so pretty angsty. Mentions of flirting but that’s it. Daniel Ricciardo is a legit Angel. Now Max Verstappen is crowned champion of the Silverstone Grand Prix, y/n watches on with a bitter sweet feeling, remembering all those races where she’d be the first person to congratulate him. Now everything’s different. She turns to the endless flow of alcohol that night when out in a club, things get a little tense when Max also happens to arrive at the same place. Alcohol distorts tf out of her poor, heartbroken brain and an argument ensues.

“And Max Verstappen takes first place in the Silverstone GP!” Without thinking about it, my arms reached into the air as I jumped up with a joyful cheer. Max was dominating the track this season, and it was a break from reality to utterly immerse myself in the race. I knew cameras were on me when a few eyes turned my way so I settled down with a genuine smile, glancing around the area to find where Max’s car would pull up. Already I’d joined his mum and sister in the Paddock for a few- too- many drinks, it wasn’t awkward, but I didn’t know if that was just the champagne talking.

It was safe to say I’d got completely and utterly wankered. I’d liked to have thought that it wouldn’t have continued, but I ended up heading to an exclusive club after the race, unable to give in and go back to my lonely hotel room. “Wow, you really are heartbroken girl.” Anise, who I worked with with Sky watched me shot down the Tequila. I’d sobered up from a small pit stop at the hotel room, so I was making up for lost drunkness now.

“Fuck it!” I shrugged, spitting the lime back into my glass as her eyes trailed over my shoulder. I followed her gaze to see Max had just walked in with a bunch of other guys from Red Bull. My heart jumped and immediately the distraction of alcohol no longer felt effective.

“Fuck.” I repeated as she offered me a sad smile. “I’m on the next round, girl…” Hours had passed and my attempts of avoiding Max had been successful. Well, apart from the glimpses we’d share from across the packed club. Every time I’d watch for him, I’d find him doing the same to me. It hurt way more, we used to love going out together, now we were acting like people who had never seen one another before.

“Hey! Hey, y/n/n!” A voice caused me to jump from my trance that was Max Verstappen. I blinked back, looking up to Daniel Ricciardo as a smile broke on my face. “Danny, hi!” I embraced the longtime friend who squeezed me a little extra harder. “How are you, you okay?” He kept a hand on my arm seeing as I stumbled slightly.

“I’m- I’m good! I’m a little drunk, how about you?!” I yelled over the music as he smiled back to me. “I can tell, I’m great, you wanna come over and say hi to everyone?” He offered, nudging me over as I shook my head. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” “Are you sure? Max wont bite you.” He teased causing a sad little smile to form on my face. “He might do.” I teased as Daniel threw an arm over me. “I’ll look after ya’.” With that the Australian was leading me back to where Max was stood with the rest of the team.

“Look who it is!” Daniel pointed as a bunch of men cheered out, I noticed Geri was there alongside Christian Horner, and I was overwhelmed with happiness when they welcomed me first into a hug. I was scared they’d hate me and my drunk mind was sensitive, especially when Geri had told me how much she had missed me. “How are you sweetheart, we miss you?!” Christian asked, kissing me on the cheek as my eyes landed on Max. He’d blanked me completely, tapping on the bar below with a solemn expression. I wanted to say hi, but he didn’t look up once.

“I’m good, I’m good, yeah.” I blinked a few times, back to the conversation ahead of me. “Stay here with us for a bit, we missed you!” Geri insisted, repeating Christians words. I could feel my chest knot and tighten painfully the longer I stayed around Max, and I knew I wanted to cry. Not here, not here, you never cry in public don’t ruin that now.

“I miss you guys!” Instead I forced out a sad laugh, glancing back to the free space at the bar. “Do you need another drink?” I then eyed up Geri’s empty Prosecco glass. “I’ll grab another bottle.” I insisted, hurrying towards the bar, further down than where Max sat. He looked like he was forcing himself to have a good time, and it kinda irked me that I was probably ruining his celebrations. I’d never felt unwelcome with Max, not once, but now I just felt like I was invading a space that wasn’t mine. The longer I waited at the bar the more awkward I’d convinced myself to feel. I was just about to leave when a man blocked my view. “Oh, hi!” I drunkly spoke, not having a single clue who he was. “Oh hi!” He chuckled, holding out his hand. “I’m Frankie, you’re beautiful.” Oh no… “Ah, thank you.” I shyly spoke, stumbling as I attempted to lean back slightly. “Woah!” He chuckled, reaching a hand to rest on my back. “You alright?” He questioned, hand lingering as I felt myself grimace in frustration. Not the man I wanted to see or talk to right now.

His hand began trailing down to the curve of my spine over the bump of my ass, I cringed, nudging him away. “Really not interested in you or your fucking creepy hands right now.” I hissed, the turn causing him to hold up both his hands and strut away with wide eyes. As if he thought that would work. When my vision was free, I looked up to see Max now occupied. Talking to a girl. My heart dropped and stomach churned. He hand a hand on her back as she giggled besides him, nodding eagerly before his his hand slipped off again.

Oh, fuck. Now that was a massive punch in the gut. My drunk mind was erratic as I shook my head, expression clearly disgusted, the girl catching my eyes with a confused expression before I stormed away. I had the right mind to launch myself over there and yell at him for being so disrespectful. Right under my fucking nose. He couldn’t even say hi? I was furious, beyond angry, god I was so wasted I couldn’t walk in a straight line but I sure as hell wasn’t dealing with Max flirting up with another girl right under my nose. That was just a dick move. “Ay, ay!” Daniel took both my shoulders, just as I tried to pass him. He’d seen the full exchange. “Daniel, please, I need to go.” I struggled to get past him. He tilted his head down in a slight concern when he noticed the tear that slipped from my eye. “Ah, okay, let’s go.” He ushered me out, an arm slung over my shoulder as we wormed our way out to the private smoking area that was reserved for the ‘celebrities’ only. Fucking prissy if you asked me.

“I need to go home, Daniel.” I repeated, wrapping my hands over my bare arm. “I know, I know.” “I am so fucking done with him.” My voice cracked and a sob rattled through me. “Hey, no don’t cry.” He was quick to pull me in for a hug, rubbing my back quickly. “Aw, no I don’t know what to do when people cry..” Daniel slurred slightly as I sniffled, wiping under my eyes quickly.

“Sorry, but I just- I just can’t watch him in there talking with all those girls.” I too, was slurring, it only became apparent to me when we’d got into the fresh air and I somehow felt 10x drunker. “I’m so fucking angry.” I wept. “I’m gonna regret this in the morning, I’m sorry Daniel.”

“Nah it’s a dick move from him I agree, look he’s probably just jealous.” The Australian explained, hand still on my upper back in support. “Uh huh.” I nodded looking up to the night sky in order to prevent more tears falling. “Please don’t get this upset, I know it’s shit to see but he won’t have meant anything bad by it. She probably just wanted a picture with him.” I took a deep breath, using my sleeve that was luckily black to dab under my eyes. “Yeah.” I agreed. “She’s just really pretty.”

“She’s got nothing on you.” Daniel bluntly spoke causing me to laugh out sadly. “Seriously, y/n/n, it’s just a shit time, especially when you’ve both had to be in the same place.”

“I know… I think I just need to go home.” I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek. “Alright… Have you got your bag?” Daniels words caused me to search frantically for my bag. “Shit, it’s at the bar.” I panicked, knowing my phone and everything was in there.

“It’s okay, I’ll go get it, you wait here, alright?”

“Thanks, Daniel.”

“That’s okay.” When Daniel went inside I was left with silence. Well, that and the noise of the obnoxiously loud music. Gold digger was a playing and somehow it made me tear up knowing how often Max played this in the shower. Fuck, how was I about to cry over fucking Gold Digger by Kanye West. I was pathetic. A pathetic, drunk mess. It was kinda laughable.

Daniel returned moments later, with my bag in his hand. I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“I’ll get you back, okay? I’m tired anyway, promised Heidi I’d call her.”

“Thank you.” I nodded once again as we turned around, Daniel leading me back inside. Before we even reached the doors, they swung open again revealing nobody else other than Max. Fuck.

“What’s going on?” He stumbled out, eyes full of confusion as I looked back to him, my mouth slightly agape. “Where’s re you both going?” He blinked in utter confusion.

“Back to the hotel, mate. She’s upset.” Daniel attempted to lead me through again with a hand on my back. “Together?!” The stupid question sent a rage like no other through me.

“Oh, Max what?” I spat. “Mate.” Daniel sighed in frustration. Why on earth would he even think Danny and I would be like that. “What’s going on?!” He questioned again as I swallowed. “Why have you followed us out?” I questioned as he winced.

“You ran out, I saw Daniel with your bag? Why are you crying?” He was obviously drunk, I could tell from the bloodshot look in his eyes. “Max, leave it out-“ “No, what’s going on?!” He probed again as I sighed, looking towards Daniel. “You can go if you want, I’m just gonna…” I shrugged awkwardly as he nodded. “I’ll be inside.” He nodded back to us both, slapping Max on the shoulder in a friendly manner before heading inside, leaving me face to face with Max.

“Why are you crying?” He attempted to reach forwards and touch my arm but I pulled my arm away. He didn’t like that, he blinked as I stared back up to him. “Look, you can do whatever you want with girls, I don’t give a shit, just not right under my nose.” I gestured harshly, attempting to move past hun to go inside. “What?!” Max spluttered out a laugh, causing me to stop completely.

“You’re the one that was dancing like that right in front of me, I saw you and the man at the bar!” He exclaimed as I felt another surge of anger ripple through me. “That man was trying to feel me up, I told him to fuck off.” I spat back, my heart setting off at the confrontation. I was never good at arguments.

“And dance like what, Max?”

“Like you’re trying to get everybody’s attention!” He fired back. “Oh, shut up.”

“No, don’t tell me to shut up!” Max argued as I rolled my eyes with a frustrated sigh. I turned around and began pacing towards the exit towards the street. “Where are you going?” Max was hot on my heel as I ground my teeth.

“Away from you, I’ll let you flirt in fucking peace!” I hissed as he choked out a scoff. “Are you kidding?!”

“Do I sound like I’m fucking joking, Max?! It’s been three weeks! Three fucking weeks, I turn around and you’re already talking to other girls!” My eyes began welling up again.

“Am I not allowed? You left me!” He jabbed a hand into his chest as I felt another wave of pain hit me. “You knew how lost I was.” I broke down, wiping at my eyes harshly. “You can’t use that against me, just don’t fucking do that shit right under my nose- do you know how much it hurts?” I rambled through tears as Max looked completely taken back.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, you absolute fucking prick!” I cursed as his brows winced. “Y/n-“ he attempted to mutter but I turned away and quickly tried to wipe my tears. “Such a dick fucking move, Max. Did you want to hurt me?”

“Yes.” He muttered, just when I thought I’d asked an unanswerable question. “I wanted to get back at you for leaving me.” Max spoke calmer now, scratching at the back of his neck as I shook my head in disbelief.

“That’s fucked up.” I turned around, beginning my journey back to the hotel. “I know.” He sighed, his voice following after me. “Stop following me, Max.” I rushed past the security guards, towards where there was endless cars lined up.

“Hi, Whittlebury hotel please.” I forced a smile through my tears to the driver. He must’ve thought I was a fucking psycho. When I opened the door, Max muttered my name again. “I’m not letting you go back alone.” He put a hand on mine causing me to tense up. I was so hurt, I couldn’t even look at him.

“I literally don’t care.” I lied, climbing in the back seat to which he followed me in. “I’m being serious, you’re not going alone.”

“Max, leave me the fuck alone.” I spoke lowly so the driver wouldn’t hear me. “No.” He firmly spoke, reaching over to plug my seatbelt in. That was the first time I gave in that night, finding it harder and harder to direct angry words towards him.

Now he was sat besides me in a moving car, I couldn’t exactly kick Max Verstappen out onto the streets of Silverstone either. It was more than fucking awkward as I sniffled, texting to tell my friends I was on my way back and apologise profusely to Daniel. I couldn’t even text normally, my fingers were trembling and the alcohol blurred my vision.

“You’re not coming up to my room.” I then attempted to firm, “that’s fine.” Max spoke softly, watching towards me. I refused to look at him. I couldn’t, no matter how much my heart yearned for him. My brain was growing more and more confused as I dropped my head in my hands. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I questioned glumly, Max reached over and placed a hand on my upper back. The action being small but something that made me cry 10x harder than before.

“I’m not leaving you alone, y/n.” I could see from the corner of my eye the way his head hung low, how he watched me, his touch was so soft and gentle how I always remembered. “Im sorry for making those assumptions earlier. It was so wrong of me.” He whispered as I sighed. “And I'm truly sorry for trying to hurt you, that’s fucked up.” “Stop.” I whispered feeling my whole body aching for my boyfriend back. I’d made a massive mistake of leaving him, now the guilt was eating me alive. Max sighed gently, but his hand didn’t move off my back the whole car ride back to the hotel. Of course, there was paparazzi.

“Are you okay, do you want to wait a minute?” Max asked as I looked up to him for the first time the whole car ride. His whole expression has changed from earlier, he looked more gentle, tired, there wasn’t a trace of anger left on his face. “I’m sorry, Max.” My lips trembled as I undid my seatbelt. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” “C’mere.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as I sunk into his touch, a little too scared to touch him myself, but the comfort I gained from the hug was unalike anything else. He was patient with me, rested his head on top of mine for a couple moments before he took me by the hand, keeping me besides him through the row of flashing lights as I attempted to hide my face as much as possible. When we got back in the lift, it was a little awkward again. I pushed a 3 for my floor and he then pushed a 4. The floor were all the drivers stayed. “I’m just gonna go to bed now. I’m sorry for interrupting your night.” I finally spoke when the lift started moving. If I didn’t, it would be awkward as hell.

“You didn’t.” Max responded as I stared at the doors ahead of me. It was like a scene straight out of Grey’s anatomy. Soon enough, the doors swung open and I reluctantly headed back to my room. “Night, Max.” I muttered.

“Night.” I didn’t turn around to know he was glum, I knew he would be, and I couldn’t bare seeing it. I went to bed that night crying pathetically, confused as to what had actually happened. The whole thing was a mess, my mind was a mess. I really knew I’d made a fucked up decision leaving Max, now I just had to deal with the consequences…

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Sorry to all caps at you but HARPER HBH PLEAS /gen /nf

Little Harper McLean headcanons

a/n: you didn’t specify if you wanted little or caregiver so hope you don’t mind me choosing for you

warnings: !!season 2 spoilers!!, talk of canon things (ie drug use, partying, etc), malakai never left <3

she doesn’t figure out she regresses til season 2 when she’s living with cash in her own space

it’s involuntary at first and she doesn’t even realize she’s regressed, just brushing it off as being extra tried or that the weed she smoked is making her act different

cash is actually the one that brings up that she might be regressing, he’s nervous telling her and gives her a whole list from his notes app on why he things it’s regression

she’s so taken back but sees every point that he makes

cue them going on a mini research binge together

she doesn’t talk about her regression with anyone at first, still trying to get used to it herself and whatnot

eventually quinni notices something’s off and asks her if she’s alright- the stumbling response of “oh yeah I’m fine” harper gives isn’t believable at all so they end up talking about it

quinni helps harper tell amerie as she was worried it’d mess things up between them

amerie of course takes it well but she’s also super confused so they spend awhile explaining things

harper’s headspace is definitely more in the smaller range, she likes teethers & pacifiers & soft toys she can cuddle into

her childhood was rough and her teenage years have been- worse. so stuffed animals and fleece blankets and nice pajamas are a big deal to her

she likes to regress at night for a bit before she goes to bed but might slip after school if something stressful happens

cash watches over her the most for obvious reasons, but also he’s comfortable with her and she’s comfortable with him so it works really nice

darren helps out a lot more when they settle back into living with cash & harper

cash & darren will do just about anything harper wants when she’s small (cash especially tho, he caves at the first glimpse of puppy dog eyes)

she’s got a box of monster high dolls from when she was a kid that she loves to play with

she drags amerie and malakai into playing dolls frequently as they make up the best storylines

she almost never regresses anywhere but at home but occasionally she’ll slip at amerie’s place or quinni’s since she’s comfortable there

amerie may or may not fall back into bodyguard mode™️ when she finds out harper regresses

thankfully malakai’s there to calm that down

nobody ever really sits malakai down and tells him that harper regresses or what regression is he just came over one day and there she was. little. and nobody else was batting an eye so he wasn’t either

months later at a party malakai brings this up to harper and firstly, she laughs, but secondly she gives him a link to a google doc quinni made explaining age regression but also listing specifics about harper’s regression and anyone else in the group that might be a little

malakai babysits a lot more after that

him & missy like to take harper on hikes when she’s feeling more like a kiddo

malakai usually carries one of the girls back down the hike on his back- it always switches back and forth between missy & harper

she has her whole friend group come over for big sleepovers when she’s regressed and absolutely loves it

she keeps a small plush in her backpack at all times and sometimes takes it out to use as a pillow if she’s putting her head down on a table/desk

holds hands with someone at all times if they’re out in public

going out when she’s regressed makes her really anxious so she avoids it if she can- everyone’s very understanding and will go grab something from the store for her or whatever she needs so she can stay home

[watchdogfanclub]

This was written in response to someone thinking WOY never took off because streaming was getting popular in the 2010s:

Nah, as someone who watched from when the SDCC trailer came out that wasn’t it. For most of it’s airing it had a small fandom that was roughly as active as the current fandom. The main reason it didn’t get popular is because Disney treated it like trash.

(Sidenote: Streaming services didn’t become major players in the cartoon game until the late 2010s. Voltron, one of the early hits, didn’t “air” until 2016. Wander’s last episode came out during the same month and it had been cancelled a bit after season 2 started airing. Cancelled because Disney had an unofficial 2 season limit to all but it’s biggest hits.)

Before I start talking about that I’ll link ratings reports. I was planning to show the airing schedule too (focused on reruns) but I can’t remember who posted it.

First off: The episode aired at 5 PM on the west coast (when kids are often eating dinner) and it was worse for the rest of the US because it aired simultaneously. So that meant it aired at 6 PM mountain time, 7 PM central, and 8 PM eastern time. How many kids are watching then?

Frankly, after acting as a third parent to my baby brother for a few years, I would not have let him watch Wander Over Yonder after dinner because it’s too high energy for winding down. That’s when kids watch calming shows like Sesame Street and Arthur.

Another thing: If you didn’t have cable the only way to watch it legally was on iTunes. They took awhile to add it too. And then they cut the seasons in half without prior notice to double bill people with a season pass.

Then there was their airing schedule. It would go on long hiatuses for no good reason before returning with minimal if any promotion. Which meant that it was hard to tell when it aired unless you constantly checked the tv guides. (To be fair: Every Disney series got this but…)

The American Disney Channel dragged their feet so long that some episodes first premiered in France (The Hero), Russia, and the UK if I recall correctly. Heck, a sizeable amount of episodes that first aired in the US leaked on On Demand first.

And then it got booted to Disney XD halfway through season 1. Which is a premium channel where shows go to die. So that didn’t help…

Anyways, about that promotion: Maybe it’s just me, but if I got an animation legend who created two pop culture phenomenons to make a show for me I’d shout his name to the high heavens. But Disney was so quiet about it that most of the fanbase only heard of it while checking out his other works. How would the target audience stumble upon it when it aired at dinner time or later with few reruns and scant advertising?

(Somehow Netflix was worse about it and I didn’t even know Kid Cosmic existed until I got back into WOY a year after it ended. Granted, Netflix and other streaming services turned producers make Disney look good. Many cartoons only get one season and the crew laid off before it’s even posted. He got 3. But about the same advertising as others around the same time such as, say, Dogs in Space. Never heard of it? Yeah. Thanks Netflix.)

Finally, a few complaints about how the show was presented:

The Picnic wasn’t a great choice for a promo episode and they should have aired The Greatest first (as intended by the crew) because the latter both introduced the characters and better represented the tone of the show. A lot of people were initially turned off by the Looney Tunes type antics and thought Wander was annoying.

Some of them continued to give the show a chance. But who knows how many didn’t? And in hindsight, as much as I love the theme song, I can see why it made a lot of people change the channel before it even ended. (Especially parents trying to find a show that won’t mess up their bedtime routine!) The original theme song, the one in The Little Guy’s credits, would have worked much better.

[shimmer-wolf-arts]

I can blame/thank Pansy for why I'm gonna ramble a bit, LOL 🤣 /pos

like, we don't see Varian making a ton of friends his age. Like, all the people he hangs out with are either older or younger than him, and it's mostly adults. Poor kid is only 14-16 and he's friends with ppl who are mostly over 18. The only ones who aren't are Keira and Catalina, and they're, what, like 12 at the oldest, in season 3? Maybe?

I mean, don't get me started on Varian's neurodivergence/obvious ADHD. But that's probably one major reason why his friends are mostly older than him. I know my AuDHD is why I connect more with people older or younger than me.

And yeah. Varian literally befriended the raccoon that was intruding on his lab. And crushed on Cass like, 2 seconds after she saved him and 100% failed at flirting with her.

But you see how socially awkward this kid is when he's talking to other people, especially in season 3. Talking to Feldspar? Awkward as hell. He's stuttering, not making eye contact, and let's not forget the nervous laughs he makes. And if he's trying to argue a point, and someone very much calls him out on it (coughLANCEcough), he gets stuttery and trips over his words then too.

This poor kid just does not know how to socialize. And when he gets overwhelmed, he starts shutting down. "Be Very Afraid" was a perfect example of that, outside of the fact that his shutdown was also trauma induced.

So yeah, sending him out on the 7k journey, I can imagine he's in way over his head. And I imagine Hugo takes full advantage of that, a lot of the time.

But in my story, Grace is also very much isolated when it comes to kids her age. It's kind of why she and Varian bond is because they 1. Both have trauma, and 2. Both struggle to make friends their age. The only other person Grace knows that's her age is the person she considers her cousin bc their dads grew up together and consider each other brothers. So she's kinda lucky that she at least had one person her age to hang around. Varian didn't. So he meets Grace when they're both 17, and he's just thinking "Oh shit this is a pretty girl who is actually my age wtf do i do?!"

Poor kid does stumble over his words (and just in general) with her a lot until he becomes more comfortable around her. And especially after they start dating, he gets a bit more confident since they both help each other out with trauma and whatnot. He's still socially awkward with ppl his age, and just in general, but it's not nearly as bad as it was when he was 14-16.

And Hugo, being street smart, as well as putting on the facade that he knows everything (and that making him look like an asshole lol), it very much throws Varian for a loop, lol. He doesn't know what to do with it at first, and he's very thrown off and unsure of how to handle it.

[vraisetzen]

https://www.tumblr.com/vraisetzen/767046956775342080/historians-will-say-that-they-were-best?source=share

hi v,

i'm afraid i'm not a 'shipper,' but i'd be curious to know:

what are your top ten favourite anime ships?

Hi! Thank you for your question!

To be honest, I've left my shipping days far behind me especially since I got into writing Reader Inserts — I can't even remember the last time I rooted enthusiastically for a ship (besides Garashir and Janeway/Chakotay from Star Trek DS9 and Voyager).

(Also, I just wanna quickly clarify that I don't actually ship Mizuki and Gegero, even if I do see/understand why they're very popular when I saw the film. I was just awestruck by the official art, haha)

And I know there's currently a ton of debate surrounding shipping, to which I'd like say that I seldom have any icks or squicks when it comes to pairings. If I dislike a ship, it's probably because of a bad experience I had with their fans. However, I would add that my favourite ships are pretty vanilla and tame, and more often than not the result of my asking, "What if these two randoms were placed in a room with one bed together?" I love a niche pairing with zero fics written for them on AO3, lol.

So yeah, I'm gonna spotlight some of my niche pairings that I enjoy quite a fair bit! All of them are het and slash ships, I'm afraid, out of sheer coincidence that most of my favourite characters are male. I do love femslash/yuri ships as well, but they're generally quite popular, so I wouldn't be contributing anything new. They're not ranked in order of preference because I love them all!

Hijikata/Otae, Gin Tama: I love Otae so, so much, and I think she gets a ton of unwarranted hate from a vocal minority of the fandom on Twitter and Reddit. The GinTae vs GinTsu debate is still very real in 2024, but I think my girl deserves a man who earns a stable income and doesn't denigrate her appearance.

Koenma/Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho: The first of many niche pairings to come. Botan is such a lovely girl who is friendly with every one, but I get a kick out of imagining the two of them getting into all sorts of trouble and shenanigans whilst nagivating the bureaucratic hell that is, well, Hell, and falling in love in the process. And have you see the official art of them together? It's so cute!

Ogata/Sai, Hikaru no Go: I was so disappointed when I didn't find any content of them both! I think Ogata would have gone insane had he been the one to stumble upon Sai's Go board, before falling in love with him, and then into despair as he realised he cannot touch the one person he loved and idolised the most.

Muzan/Tamayo, Kimetsu no Yaiba: As a KnY fic writer, I feel obliged to include at least one ship from this fandom. I love all canon and fanon pairings in this work (a rare thing for me, personally), but I especially love the divorced couple dynamic between them both. The most recent season finale cemented that belief for me, and I do spend a lot of time brainrotting over their past before Muzan encountered Yoriichi.

Kusakabe/Utahime, Jujutsu Kaisen: I stumbled upon this fanart a long time ago, and thought: "Spectacular; give me 14 of them right now." He's an experienced First-Grade sorcerer who's honestly not the best teacher, she's a Second-Grade sorcerer who loves her students — they bond over their mutual irritation for Gojo and absolutely hooked up during the exchange event.

Shunsui/Ukitake, Bleach: What's there not to love about Old Men Yaoi? I've loved these two ever since I saw them, individually and a pairing, and I don't I will ever forgive Kubo for separating them in TYBW (albeit in a good way). The Hell arc was just the icing on the cake — a reverse star-crossed lovers, if you will.

Ryoga/Ranma, Ranma 1/2: I love a small-stakes rivalry, and there's something very cute about a guy who absolutely does not care about the gender of his opponent and will stop at nothing to fight them.

Shishiba/Osaragi, Sakamoto Days: Let it be known that I've clocked this couple ever since they first appeared in the manga, and I staunchly believe that they're endgame. Chapter 161 was everything — nothing can convince me otherwise that they're just mentor and mentee. Have you ever seen a mentee stroke her mentor's cheek as he laid bleeding on the ground, saying: "I'll be right back. Don't die"? Yeah, I thought so.

Mitsui/Yohei, Slam Dunk: I wish I could give a better explanation for why I love them so much, but really — the moment I saw Yohei beating the crap out of Mitsui with relative ease and zero effort despite being the smaller guy, I just felt the yaoi monster stirring in its sleep and shaking my bones. A former student athlete-turned-delinquent crossing paths with an actual delinquent makes for such fantastic tension, really.

Jotaro/Kira, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: I actually thought very long and hard about my favourite JJBA ship, because, like KnY, I love all of the characters and have no issue with either canon or fanon pairings. But then, I saw this fanart of JoKira/KiraJo, and it scratched such a specific itch inside my head that I have not been the same ever since.

Here it is! I had an fun time thinking about my favourite ships and choosing those that were truly obscure; some of them — HijiTae and ShunUki — are fairly popular, but I think my preference for them trumped any other rarepair I could have thought of for that fanbase.

xoxo, V ♥️

[deanstudies101]

4x18, The Monster at the End of This Book

Critical theory: Fate/destiny. Quiet rebellion. Faith. Meta. 

Discussion point/question(s): Discuss the term we’ve [I’ve] been throwing around; “trapped in the narrative.” 

Further reading:

Quiet rebellion (@some-people-call-it-tragic)

Prevalence of in-universe Sam girls (@ilarual)

Discussion: 

Kai, “I am so in love with Cas.” [I believe Iga’s words were “he deserves head for that.”] He’s not there much, he doesn’t have many lines, but when he’s there he pops off. Iga, he’s got insane tism rizz. Kai, he’s a little bit of a bitch. [Excuse me. He’s that bitch.] He’s an alpha bitch. 

[Iga is thinking.] Trying to think of something to say… but the episode is the analysis of the show. Can’t analyse it without just. Saying what happened in the episode. The writers either had a blast writing this or this was a cry for help. Screaming for help. 

“Trapped in the narrative.” Interesting to watch that happening in real time, especially after the recent discussion about destiny, and whether they have free will. So we’ve discovered that they don’t. Or, they can make choices, but it always ends in the same place. The environment was adapting itself to push them in the right direction (ie. the motel sign changing). 

[The motel name. I love that. Sam was doing that. Waving a lil red flag to draw Lilith in.] And that goes hand-in-hand with the last episode—Sam is very quick and willing to go with the narrative. He knew that if he was going to be with Lilith, there was going to be a reason, and he could try to use that. Dean tried to run. He’s scared. He’s been scared since hell, and Sam knows it, and he’s trying to protect him. It is sweet, the demon stuff is coming from a good place… but it’s not going to end well. He needs to be aware of that danger instead of repressing it, because then he’s much less likely to be drawn down the wrong path. He’s doing the demon stuff and justifying it with human reasons, but he needs to listen to both and find balance. He needs to acknowledge that demon Sam exists. 

Kai, every episode this season has been so fun. [It’s like I said. This season is banger after banger. Even the ‘weak’ episodes are still good. It is thee season. You meet thee gay angel.] And he is so sassy. [And this season changes the show forever. For better or for worse (both).] Kai, industrial action saved this show. Iga, it’s interesting to me that this is season 4, and we’ve got themes like the apocalypse and being trapped in the narrative. These are such strong and interesting themes. Compared to 1) where’s dad 2) what is evil / is Sam evil 3) fate. But now it’s bigger, it’s no subtext, they’re talking about it—they are trapped in the narrative. We kind of have free will, but do we? But it’s season 4 out of 15. Kai, yeah, these are showstopping themes [as in, these should be saved for the last season.] Iga, I’m nervous. Kai, well, the finale season theme is homophobia. Iga, this is an amazing show, and I’m confused why people say it’s trash… and then I remember there are 11 seasons left. [So I will say again. 4-5 are art. And I love 1-3. In terms of quality there is a dip after this, but. The seasons where there is a dip have their own merit, in a certain way. To me.] Iga, that’s okay, I’m excited to watch the fake show in my head. For the—I don’t want to say delusion to kick in, but for the second secret show. [Yeah, I love the second secret show. And I will say, when I watched this for the first time I did truly love 1-8 equally (that’s all that was out at the time). Season 6 admittedly stumbles, but that’s just because the end of season 5 would have been a great end to the show, and they weren’t really sure what they were doing. Season 6 stumbles, season 7 falls on it’s face, season 8 gets back up again, and season 9… they start wondering if they should’ve stayed on the floor. (this is all affectionate).] 

Re: Sam-girls. It makes sense—Sam was supposed to be the main character. Sam can’t be held back by Jared’s acting in the books. They’re barely meeting Dean, let alone getting an insight into his psyche. Dean was originally written as a douchebag, and Jensen brought him to life and gave him depth… so of course that’s not in the books. 

Notes: Kai, “These are showstopping themes.” [We’ll revisit.] 

[lazybakerart]

I stumbled across your account while in the Billy tag. I have to say I am genuinely so happy that someone out there loves him as much as I do. I am so freaking tired of defending him and justifying my love for him. And being told it’s only because I find him attractive. It makes me want to pull all of my hair out. Keep fighting the good fight! I’m not on here a lot, but if you’d like someone to talk to about him or any character. I’m here. I’m always looking for more friends, especially Billy stans. My question for you is, which outfit of Billy’s is your favorite?

my dearest. my darling. thank you.

first up, the Honorary Mention, since it's in a bit of a grey area. billy did wear this, but it was only in a photo.

the one and only crop-top

in a show that purportedly loves the 80s, the lack of crop tops was felt, deeply, and some say may have impacted the show's realism and its commitment to deepthroating nostalgia, but we got our crumbs and if anyone was going to strut around in an itty-bitty shirt, thankfully it was billy because it could only be billy. no one else could pull it off. don’t even argue. don’t even start. you know i’m right. shh.

now, let's get into it.

TOP FIVE BILLIAM OUTFITS

#5

metalhead-tastic

we don't see billy in black all that much and i am on the floor in love with this style of shirt for him because it's such a contrast to our go-to tits-out billiam that we adore. it's a crew neck + sleeveless to show off his arms. billy is all about putting his best assets out first: tits, face, ass, and - you know it - arms. he's a metalhead and he should be in more black! but i'll take what i can get.

#4

niagara baby

the most insane outfit ever. i firmly believe he stole every bit of it from the lost & found at the pool/from his coworkers. it's bonkers. it goes against everything billy believes in style wise. a cap that covers his gorgeous hair he always makes sure is Perfection. a long sleeve shirt that covers his chest and abs AND ARMS? it is iconic. it is trucker-chic. it proves billy can wear absolutely anything and still be damn hawt.

#3 

gym rat

this shirt and his gym shorts? honey. let’s not even get into the one curl that is so exact and so perfectly captures a goldilocks curl straight out of the woods that it could have only been brought into existence with precision and purpose -  we know two things about billy hargrove: he does not fuck around with his hair or girls. back to the outfit, which is really about the shirt. i love it. once again the crew neck collar, but it’s the sleeves that bumps this outfit up the list. wide open. to show off not just his beefy arms, but to give us a peek of side-boob and those wonderful abdominal muscles. this shirt says, ‘yeah, you can look, but you ain’t getting the whole show for free.’ he wants dinner first. he wants to be romanced. he wants a guy to squeeze his bicep and say ‘wow, you’re really strong.’

#2

nice and toit

season three was a hot mess, but it did give us some A++ looks and this one cannot be overlooked. it’s simple. it’s elegant. it’s rough. this is what a metalhead who drives a camaro wears. tight white tank top and a pair of tight-tight jeans. [insert that one gif of dacre and joe talking about those jeans/dacre’s ass here] you cannot go wrong with this look. it encapsulates who billy is - the irony being, of course, technically this is not currently billy wearing it, but let’s not drown in the details, lets gag on the aesthetic - it’s summer. it’s hot. it shows off everything billy wants to show off. he’s a guy who pumps iron while smoking and drinking, he is not working out to get healthy, he’s putting on mass to get that dick. it shows off his chest. his abs. his shoulders. his arms. those jeans show off every damn thing going on down there and it is nothing but good for miles. tight shirt. tight jeans. you know it. you know.

#1

the classic

when i think of billy, well, i think of a lot of things, but that denim jacket is front and center with billy hargrove. no other character quite embraces denim like billy and this jacket is like another limb for him. the cuffed sleeves. the pack of smokes in the pocket. the kiss mark on the sleeve that gives a person ideas and thoughts not exactly pertinent to this post. the cherry on top that pushes this ensemble to number one is the unbuttoned shirt. that’s billy. that’s dacre giving us a piece of himself. it’s that slip of rebellion added to the water. a white buttoned shirt half-undone to drive the population of hawkins wild + the denim jacket and those tight-tight jeans to make sure no one who looks billy’s way will think he’s someone to mess with. he’s a bad boy. he’s trouble. he’s no good. he’s looking to get his neck chomped on. he’s strutting in jeans he can barely sit down in looking to get dicked down. the classic. the original. the best. done. perfect. god i love him.

+ ★★★★★

sexy time

billy and his date night shirt. we have the iconic tight jeans telegraphing the speed at which a man could bounce a quarter off billy’s ass + THE red shirt. this is not any ordinary red shirt. this is the red shirt billy has chosen to wear to whatever date he’s been cockblocked from attending (likely with a few boys from the football team, canon was never very specific, but the subtext tells us everything we need to know on billy’s love life - dudes and a lot of them when steve still refuses to give him his number). it’s one of the only shirts we see on him with a pattern - outside of this, it’s plain colored shirts with a variety of sleeve lengths. this is his nice shirt. this is the quality shirt. this is the shirt a guy will touch and think, yeah, he’s gonna touch billy a little more. add in that it’s barely buttoned with billy’s best assets in the spotlight - eye catching + easy access - you can’t go wrong. and neither can billy. this is his fuck-me shirt. his fight-me shirt. violence and love married in red.

[ramblingdisaster73]

Hi! Another thought! Apparently at the convention yesterday Rafa said there's going to be more Officer Reyes to come and it's gonna be both drama and fun. Now Rafa's idea of fun is a bit scary honestly, but maybe we'll get to see the fruits of the growth he had/he's having from the past arc experience.

I don't really know, but they may build for him something that creates the sort of problem he'd usually shoulder by himself, and instead this time he'll share what's bothering him with TK, even if just to seek comfort or something. Or maybe he'll have a big decision to make and he'll ask him for advice. And being related to work ensures it's something that's just his, though it may impact their lives together (think the decision about becoming a Detective or not). This way it could be a little like what they went through after Sadie with the all 'relapse' thing, though obviously it would be different in many ways too. (I probably love parallels too much, I know 😂)

I'd be just as happy if they showed growth for something relating to them as a couple. It's just, that line I read about it made me think immediately of that kind of situation. In any case I'm looking at 4x12 to see it, since it's a Tarlos ep.

Compared to OG, Lone Star doesn’t do a whole lot of police driven episodes – which does make sense considering Angela is an EP & contracted for each episode, while Rafa isn’t. But – I do like that for the most part when we get police plots in LS, we get them as more investigative storylines (2x08, 3x05 to name a couple) which I like. But, it did take us way too long to get Carlos centric storylines regarding his profession – which is also a bit weird considering he is the only cop – on a show about first responders.

Both Rafa & Ronen have slightly different ideas on “fun” and “beautiful” than I do sometimes – so, yeah – who knows what is coming for him/us. But, as long as Carlos doesn’t have another wife waiting in the wings – I can handle it.

We saw Carlos stumble pretty big in the first act of season 4 (I have a feeling that 1-6, 7-12, & 13-18 will be like acts of a play – 1-6 = Act 1, 7-12= Act 2, & 13-18= Act 3). Now I am hoping (seriously & a little frantically) that we get to see how that shapes him the rest of the season – be it professionally or personally (either in his relationship with TK or his family) in Act 2 (I am pretty firmly in the wedding finale camp – ie: end of the play/act 3). Which would go in line with one of the interviews Rafa did last summer – so fingers crossed – we get to see it on screen. I feel like Season 3 was a lot about TK growth – and we got to see it, so I am hoping that it will be similar with Carlos this season.

I think that the easiest way to show us that Carlos learned something from the activities in Season 4 Act 1, would be to talk to TK about a work issue or something. One that he would normally have kept to himself, stewing over until he put it safely way in a brand new box and locking it away with the rest of his trauma/past/negative thoughts & feelings. That would be the simplest way – and would give that domestic scene so many of us want. Another – don’t go into murder tunnels without telling anyone where you are. I am crossing my fingers that we get a little bit of something about his control freak ways (otherwise what is the point of the episode title for 4x08).

The growth from both of them by the end of 2x13 after Sadie was amazing to be able to actually SEE – this whole wedding planning would be another great way to easily show Carlos not shouldering everything on his own – post 4x04. Which – thankfully, I am like 99% sure we will be getting – Tarlos vs parentzillas who think that they just need more drama in their wedding.

Now that we have had Detective TK, the boys have another thing they can talk about – the misery of working with APD’s missing person’s unit (especially when the missing person is your spouse/soon-to-be spouse). TK might not be able to tell the difference between a human and a statue – but he can find his idiot (affectionately calling him an idiot for going in that fucking tunnel like an idiot) fiancé with his soon-to-be father-in-law as his chauffer.

I have NO idea what to anticipate for 4x12 other than it being a Tarlos one – I am not a patient person by nature – so these long waits (it may only be 5 episodes away, but that feels like forever) with the ultimate tease (Ronen) are a challenge all on their own. However, I do think that my wedding planner brain will need that time to recover from whatever Owen & Andrea’s idea of ‘drama’ for the Tarlos wedding is.

I can’t wait for the facial expressions – Rob, Rafa, & Ronen all kill it with their facial reactions and I can’t fucking wait for it!!

--I just had a thought – do we know what episode has the Mateo/Marvin stuff yet? Cause I could see something funny being involved with both Tarlos & Carlos as a cop – so maybe that?

[kohakuarisaka]

Untamed (chapter 1 of 5)

Takami Keigo x (fem!)Reader

[ SUMMARY ] Every year, without fail, Hawks went into a rut: when autumn began, and then again in early spring. He would honker down up north in a secluded cabin. For the first time, he brought you with him.

[ WARNINGS ] R18+ for graphic sexual content and language. Non-canon compliant: Hawks’ quirk does not work like this. Reader is a hero that works at Hawks agency. Pre-existing relationship. Reader is a female with female genitalia. Feral behavior. Rutting. Biting. Spanking. Slight BDSM. Consensual sex. Wing kink. Oral sex. Romantic relationship.

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5

[ My BNHA Fanfic Masterlist ] ~ [ Also on my AO3 ]

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Most people knew that animals were in tune with the changing seasons: migrations, sensing weather patterns, and the likes. Sometimes, that extended to people with animal-like mutations, too. For some, that meant being able to feel approaching rain. For others, that meant bodily changes in relation to the weather.

Every year, without fail, Hawks went into a rut: when autumn began, when cool air swept over and the trees began to turn gold and orange, and then again in early spring, when the snow began to melt, and the sun shined bright in midday, warming the air.

He owned a cabin in the north, secluded up on a hillside in the woods, where he would honker down for the week-long occurrence. It was much more tolerable alone, far from society, where his sensitive feathers could only pick up the sounds of his abode and the wildlife outside.

The cabin smelt like amber and pine trees. He always kept the fireplace stoked. The crackling created a soothing ambiance and it gave him a worthwhile distraction. As opposed to a traditional heater, the fireplace gave him something to focus on: something to worry over so he couldn't drown in his own thoughts.

Without fail, he would go to bed at the kiss of darkness, usually in a mess of blankets and pillows in front of the fireplace, on his front with his wings stretched out beside him. Then, he'd wake in the early morning hours and watch the sunrise as if he had never seen it once in his life.

As poetic as it all sounded, it was more so for the sake of soothing his urges than anything else, to calm the animal side of his brain that was irritated at the very obvious thing missing from this.

But, at the same time, Hawks enjoyed it, in some ways. As stressful as a rut was, there was something soothing about the experiences. For a week, he could let go of everything.

In this cabin, he wasn't pro hero Hawks, winged hero, number 2, or anything like that. In this cabin, he was just Takami Keigo, even less than that at times. When lost to his senses, barely processing a proper thought beyond the warmth of the fire and the smell of the trees, he was just a man.

That time was approaching.

He could feel it, prickling at the base of his wings. His teeth were aching subtly with the desire to bite. Every little sound was setting him on edge. He heard your voice down the hall and it made him flinch with a sort of excitement, as if he hadn't heard you in weeks, when it had only been a day.

He already had an acute sense of smell as it was; but, it was intensified during this time. One of the trainees had burnt coffee and it nearly made him throw up. One of the sidekicks was wearing an ordinary cologne that never bothered him before; but, that morning, when he walked by, the smell made him want to punch them.

When he became irritable like that, was when he knew, especially, that time was dwindling and he needed to leave before it apexed.

"I'm heading out in a couple days," Hawks explained hastily when you stepped into his office. "I'll be gone for a week."

His harsh tone made it sound as if you were intruding on him, and he could tell that you noticed because you halted in the doorway. You were, actually, intruding. He had paperwork he needed to get done before he left. But, that wasn't the only reason.

Your presence swarmed him with thoughts; mainly, that he could bring you with him, show you the cabin. Would you like it? Of course, Hawks knew it was a natural desire to have, considering his physiological changes; but, still, the intensity of that desire was nauseating.

"Oh," you blurted, feeling nervous in his heated gaze. You weren't new to that hypnotizing, gold stare; but, it seemed a little different than usual, more intense.

"Uhm. Okay," you continued. "Was it a mission? I didn't see any briefing?"

Hawks blinked and the heated expression dissipated as if you had slapped it off him.

"No," he replied softly. "No," he added on, a little more sincerely. "I'm... going up north for a week."

He wanted to lie to you; really, any sort of bullshit would have sufficed. You had stumbled into this relationship knowing that he couldn't always give you everything, including the truth. But, for some reason, the truth felt right in this moment.

"That's good," you replied, stepping into his office to set some papers on the corner of his desk, adding more to the already impressive pile.

"You could use a vacation," you added on, stepping back, away from his desk.

It was in his nature to be perceptive, both in the way his quirk operated and by the man he chose to be: a hero, a spy, an assassin. Yet, his eyes were watching you with a sort of intensity that felt fiercer than it normally was.

Your sincerity was what bothered him. It would have been easier to blow you off if you were irritated by his secrecy. However, you, who knew better than anyone, what he endured day in and day out, was just happy that he was getting a break from it all: from being a hero.

Most heroes had a life to go home to, a family, a place where they could take off the cape for a little while. Most of the time, Hawks didn't.

He had found some solace in you. You gave him the breaks he so desperately needed; but, it was never long enough, barely a night, before the visor went back on. It wasn't fair to you, a fellow hero, to be expected to carry such a burden; yet, you seemed happy at the thought of making him feel ease, if only for a little while.

"I'm sorry," Hawks apologized.

The startled look on your face told him what you were thinking: that there was nothing to apologize for.

You didn't know about this side of him, this aspect of his mutation. That behavior sometimes seeped through. He'd get a little possessive, touchy, mouthy; but, you passed them off as just kinks. Maybe, they were kinks, and he was just making excuses for himself.

"It's something I gotta take care," he explained, as if he was rejecting something you hadn't even asked.

"Ok?" you replied softly. "Whatever you need to do, Hawks?"

He smiled one of the most pathetic smiles you had ever seen.

"Is something wrong?" you asked, tilting your head a little, looking down at him, across his desk, to where he sat opposite to where you were standing.

"You don't have to tell me," you continued. "But, you never have to do anything alone, you know?"

"Ugh-" Hawks laughed nervously. "This, I think I do."

You stared back at him with a gentle gaze; yet, he could easily catch the bit of attitude in your eyes, like you wanted to call him out, but was holding back.

Yeah, he knew. He fucking knew. You had been there through some of the hardest battles, dragged him out of burning buildings, took bullets for him.

Your first kiss was in a hospital room.

His broken arm was slung up in a cast and poking painfully into your chest, and the bandages on your neck were itching at his skin. Still, neither complained. Not when you finally, finally had each other. Not when the truth came pouring out and almost a damn year of tension boiled over.

Barely a week had passed since that moment. You didn't give your broken bodies enough time to heal before crawling into bed together. He had made love to you, so softly, with gentle words and careful touches, before flipping you over and ramming you until you saw God, wings flapping and breaking things all over the room.

"It's not a mission, or any hero business," Hawks answered, scratching at his neck nervously.

Now, you were really concerned. 'Hawks' and 'nervous' were not usually uttered in the same sentence. He knew he shouldn't tell you; but, fuck it, he wanted to. It was especially difficult when you were looking at him like that, like you would do anything for him.

"Okay?" you uttered, as if ushering him to continue.

"It's... biological," he answered carefully.

Seemingly catching an unspoken queue, you closed the door to his office and leaned against it, staring at him with a calm, inquisitive gaze.

"My... mutation-" he began, breaking off in a groan.

He leaned back in his chair, dragging a hand across his face. That nervous look etched across his handsome face, was something of a spectacle, and you had to bite back a smile.

"I go into a rut twice a year," he explained hoarsely. "It's more tolerable somewhere secluded; so, I got a place up north where I tough it out."

Some feral, sick part of his brain wanted you to stupidly ask him what that was, so he could explain the insatiable desire to take you like there was no tomorrow. But, of course, you knew better than that, blinked slowly, and leaned back, a thoughtful look on your face.

"You do that alone every year?" you inquired.

"Huh?" Hawks blurted, not expecting that to be your concern.

"Is it better that way?" added on softly.

Hawks stared back at you with a stupid look on his face, eyes wide and lips parted, unblinking with the faintest tinge of pink coloring the tops of his ears.

Fuck no, it's not. He would love to have you there, to show you the home he's made over the years, to snuggle with you in front of the fireplace, to make you breakfast, to bend you over every god damned surface-

"Probably," he answered.

"Hawks," you scolded him gently.

He laughed quietly and adjusted his posture, trying to sit upright instead of slouching back in his chair. He ended up settling for placing his elbows on his desk.

"It's fine," he said reassuringly, waving his hand around. "It's like a posh camping trip."

"A high-strung posh camping trip," you corrected him softly.

Hawks stared back at you silently, as if he was mad that you saw through him so easily. 'High-strung' was a nice way of putting it. His ruts made him mean, irritable to an irrational degree, carelessly crude, and shamelessly possessive.

"Do you want..." you trailed off.

For all Hawks knew, you were going to say something completely different than what he was thinking; but, the mere thought of what you could offer had him at the edge of his seat.

"Would you want me there?" you asked.

Yes. Holy fucking shit, yes.

But, that wasn't what came out of his mouth.

"It's probably not a good idea," he protested softly.

You frowned at him, tilting your head a little, and tightened your arms where they were crossed over your front: a silent gesture telling him that you expected an explanation.

"I don't wanna hurt you," he explained, his normally calm and suave voice lowered. It was clear that this wasn't just caution or worry; this was a warning.

"How would you hurt me?" you dared to ask, voice soft, more so trying to soothe his worries than agitate the beast.

Hawks let out a short, self-deprecating laugh. "I don't know," he breathed. He looked away, and you watched him drag a hand through his hair, pushing wispy blonde bangs out of his face.

"I get really... worked up," Hawks continued, his warning tone still present. "Pissed off and horny and-... shit. Not like normal. I don't think right: it's consuming."

When he turned back to you, and saw that you still looked relaxed, eager to listen, to understand, Hawks' tense shoulders relaxed a little.

"I don't know what I would do to you, and that scares me," he warned in a low, harsh whisper. "The only thing I know is that, if you come with me, after you enter that cabin, I won't let you leave."

"Okay," you uttered back.

"What?" Hawks gawked. "Fucking hell - you realize what I just said, right?" he asked, clearly irritated at your casual response.

"Of course I do," you retorted sharply, snapping at him a little.

He released a sharp exhale through clenched teeth. "I don't think you fucking do," he growled. "I won't let you leave. I'll take you whenever I want. That's - you know what that is."

The word felt so heavy in his mouth, weighing down on his tongue, like he wanted to spit it out. It tasted awful, and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

You, surprisingly, glared at him like he had just insulted you. Maybe he had, in some way. Hawks rarely ever underestimated you; but, this wasn't a battle or heroism. This was raw, animal nature, him and you reduced to instincts.

Through his perspective, it was challenging his humanity, his love for you. But, through your perspective, it was an aspect of his nature, of something he was born with, that he couldn't stop or change; and you wanted to guide him through it, to be there when he needed you, regardless of the feral implications of it all.

"It's not rape if I want you, too," you snarled at him.

The glare he was wearing dissipated in an instant. Hawks gawked at you, stunned at the bold proclamation, his hands slipping limply off the edge of the desk and onto his lap. You watched his wings shutter faintly behind him before relaxing against his back, as if they were resisting the urge to fan out.

"You don't have to do it alone," you began softly.

"You don't-"

"Let me finish," you interrupted him gently.

Hawks obeyed, smacking his mouth shut. You doubted you would ever forget the expression he was wearing in that moment, gold eyes bright and shiny, staring at you almost in disbelief, with some awe and admiration.

"I know I don't have to," you continued. "I'm not offering out of some kind of obligation. I want to - to go through this with you. Hawks, I - I want to get to know this side of you, too."

He was, as you had come to know, a man of many faces. There was the silly, cocky hero he showed the masses, and the calculating, cold assassin he showed villains.

Those few who got close, heroes he trusted, knew he was kind and selfless, always willing to take the front lines, to risk it all. Behind closed doors, you knew he was charming and equally demanding as he was giving.

"If it's what you want, Hawks?" you added on softly.

Hawks blinked slowly. "Yeah," he exhaled heavily, like he had been holding his breath. "Fuck, I do. But, if I hurt you..." He trailed off, leaving the words unspoken, though the implication was obvious enough.

You fumbled nervously against the door, not because you were afraid of what he might do, but because you were surprised by your own emotions, by your lack of worry.

Maybe, it was just unwavering trust for the man who had been by your side for so long. Or, maybe, Hawks had managed to unlock some feral desires inside you that you never knew existed before him.

"Few months back, when you left so suddenly, it was for this, wasn't it? We were together then, but you didn't tell me," you uttered.

Hawks nodded, silently answering your question. It had come on so suddenly that he had no choice but to make a quick getaway, and let the planning fall on the wayside.

He at least made the time to tell you, albeit over a quick phone call, that he would be gone for a week and not to worry. You hadn't pressed him, figuring it was a sudden, unexpected mission.

"When you're in your rut, I - well, what am I to you?" you asked.

Shamelessly, Hawks recalled that he had thought of you, even before you came together. The beautiful woman whom he trusted with every fiber of his being, sometimes his sidekick, always his fellow hero, someone who had been there for him.

"My... mate," he answered quietly, as if he didn't want you to hear him.

Mate... not as eloquent as a lover and with a feral and obvious implication. Maybe, that should have been degrading, disgusting, being reduced to such a thing. But, it felt strangely tantalizing. As lewd as it might have sounded, mates were still equals, partners in love and war.

"You know..." you began, pausing briefly as you approached Hawks' desk.

His gold eyes followed you closely, looking up at you with a sort of softness that didn't quite fit with the conversation. But, if you were being honest with yourself, you liked it that way.

"-partner, lover, friend... You called me your 'personal pain in the ass' once," you said, laughing softly. "I... want to be your mate, too, Keigo."

You were careful about when and where you said his name: it was a sacred secret, something he trusted you with so dearly, so cautiously. But, sometimes, he really needed to hear it, especially when you needed him to know you were serious.

"-if you'll have me?" you added on quietly.

Rather suddenly, one of Hawks' feathers zipped across the room, wrapped around the door handle and flung it open.

You were so distracted by that flying plume that you almost didn't notice Hawks reach for the pile of papers, grab a few off the stack, and angle them at you.

Someone stepped into his office: one of the lawyers, by the look of their expensive suit. As they did, Hawks pulled the papers back and offered you a soft smile as he set them on the pile.

"Thanks. Is this all of them?" he asked, bright and cheery, a forced voice you were quite familiar with.

Somehow, you managed to catch up to him before you did something stupid. "I think so," you replied, matching his bubbly tone.

"Thanks," he chirped. "Oh, and your time off request has been approved, in case you missed the email?" he added on in a flawlessly professional tone.

You stepped away from his desk and carefully walked around the man, who had completely ignored you and was staring down Hawks like a starving, ravenous animal.

"Thanks, Hawks," you replied sweetly.

"Of course. Have fu-!" he cheered as you stepped out, barely cut off as the lawyer slammed the door as soon as you were out of range.

[maybankingonit]

board wax and hard facts

jj maybank x reader

okay this is my first time writing and its not very good so go easy on me pls (not my gif)

Summary: you came to your secret place for a morning of surfing and working on your boards. meanwhile further down the beach the pogues have washed up on the beach of their new found poguelandia. JJ can’t sleep so decides to explore.

a/n: this is carrying on from the end of season 2 (so last episode spoilers I guess) also I know nothing about surfing so I've kept mentions brief

enjoy :)

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sleeping on the beach wasn’t something jj maybank was exactly unfamiliar with. however his usual circumstances led to him ending up like this after a bonfire with his friends or when he got too wasted and passed out after a kegger at the boneyard. washing up at a random beach after being literally chased off a ship with his 5 other friends wasn’t exactly the ideal plan they had in mind when trying to steal back their treasure but ‘pougelandia’ had its upsides i guess. the beach was practically their own, the fishing was decent and the waves were sweet.

but it also had its downsides. with no resources and no way of finding out where they were, it left the pogues feeling hungry, stressed and more than anything exhausted, and as exhausting as jj was, sleeping was not something he had managed to accomplish tonight.

it was only the third night in poguelandia but the sandy ground was really making it difficult for jj to sleep soundly and it was beginning to make him restless.

as the sky began to slowly get lighter he gave up all attempts at getting any shut eye and left the rest of the sleeping pogues to go and explore a bit. he had no idea where he was going or what he was looking for but it felt kind of nice having the time to himself to adjust to the new environment, and hopefully he could make himself useful and help out the rest of the gang by discovering something.

after walking for about 20 minutes jj had made his way pretty far down the beach. he could no longer see where the rest of the pogues were resting but he wasn’t worried, he would surely figure out how to get back.

he approached some tall cliffs and made his way around the rockier end of the sand where he made his way into a small cove. it was beautiful to say the least, very private and peaceful especially as the sun was coming up on the oceans horizon. as he examined the scene he gazed his eyes upon a figure with their back to him at the other end of the cove. nice to know they’ve not ended up completely alone. he approached the figure slowly trying to see what kept them so busy. as he got closer he realised it was a girl with gorgeous (y/h/c) hair hanging loosely down her back. she was too busy waxing a surf board to even hear him coming up closer behind her.

‘is that your board?’ he spoke up making you almost jump out of your skin causing you to stumbled forward falling into the board and the stand it was balancing on seconds before. you spun round quickly in the sand to unveil who had physically brought you out of your thoughts to the ground.

‘jesus christ man you scared the shit out of me!’ you exclaimed as your heart began to steady again.

jj stiffled a laugh but came over to you to help you back to your feet.

‘i’m sorry dude, i didn’t mean to frighten you’ he laughed again.

‘no no it’s fine don’t worry, i’ve just never seen anyone else down here before, was kinda expecting to be alone’ you said as you dusted yourself off. he was a lot taller than you were but his smile put you at ease. he was really handsome.

it went silent between the two of you for a short minute before jj cleared his throat and asked you again ‘so is that your board? you surf much?’ it took you a second to understand what he was talking about until he gestured at the board left on the sand behind you.

‘oh um yeah, it’s kind of the only thing i do. i come down here almost every morning before i have to start my day.. do you? like surf, do you surf much?’ you trailed off suddenly feeling self conscious that you were no longer alone in the one place you come to for peace and quiet.

‘do i?’ jj scoffed, ‘only the best surfer in OBX, unofficially’ he winked.

‘in the what?’

jj thought for a second but shook his head ‘it doesn’t matter, all you need to know princess is that you’re in the presence of an expert’ he stated proudly with a lopsided grin as he bowed in front of you.

‘oh is that so?’ you retorted suddenly feeling cocky. surfing was your life and it would take someone outstanding to impress you.

‘oh yeah darling, the best.’ he said with a smirk obviously feeling confident. ‘i mean i would’ve taught you a few moves but i don’t have my board,’ you raised your eyebrows stunned by his ego.

an idea flashed in your mind. ‘well that’s no problem pal, i have some boards i’ve been working on with me. come on’ you gestured for him to follow you further up the beach to the little hut next to the cave in the cliff that you had built at the beginning of the summer.

‘working on?’ he asked now looking confused with the fluffy piece of blonde hair falling from his forehead.

‘uh yeah, i’ve been making my own boards for the past couple years with my uncle. he owns a surf shack back up in town. he was the one who taught me how to surf.’ you explained as you walked towards the little shabby hut.

jj was dumbfounded. a hot girl who not only surfs but makes boards too? he was impressed to say the least. ‘that’s crazy. wow. so you made all these?’ he began examining the few boards you had in the little hut, admiring your craft.

‘um yeah .. i did..’ you trailed off realising that he was the first person to ever see your little handmade workshop. it was nothing extravagant, just a sheltered space you’d found on this peaceful beach where you brought your tools. it wasn’t much but this place was your spot. you’d never even seen anyone on this beach before and it felt like yours. but now here you were with this stranger, showing him your safe space and your unseen work. you couldn’t help but feel overly conscious of your current situation.

‘this is insane. you’re really talented.’ he said smiling back at you still inspecting the boards. ‘you think this one would hold me?’ choosing one of the ones you had just finished on a couple weeks ago.

‘erm, i think it probably could but for your size and build i think..’ you got up and moved to the back of the stacks of boards and pulled one out, ‘i think this one would probably be more suited for you..’ handing him the board.

‘sweet’ he thanked you and followed you out the hut. the sky was now a perfect shade of pink as the orange sun was beginning to settle in the sky.

‘so, you uh, wanna try this thing?’ he said motioning towards the ocean smiling back at you.

‘sure, i mean that’s why i’m down here in the first place’ you said laughing taking off your shorts and t-shirt revealing your red bikini.

jj let out a short breath admiring the view. she’s so hot he thought to himself.

‘you coming big fella?’ you said back to him picking up your board and heading off towards the water. for some reason you felt completely at ease by this strangers presence. perhaps it was because you always were calm and your special spot, but this new found confidence had even yourself intrigued.

jj was suddenly brought out of his thoughts when you spoke up, suddenly realising he didn’t actually have his swim shorts, just the clothes he was wearing. ‘wait! i don’t have any other clothes!’ he shouted after you.

‘well come in your underwear then i don’t know?’ leaving him stunned by your bold comment. he thought for a second before you turned around to see if he was coming or not. you quickly remembered your wash bag from yesterday and planted your board in the sand and tan back to the hut to your things.

‘here, i have my brothers swim shorts, they should probably fit you.’ as you passed him the shorts and he gave you a questioning look.

‘get your mind out of the gutter-‘ you paused wanting to use his name but realising you hadn’t actually got it yet. he clocked your confused face coming to the same realisation.

‘oh! it’s jj’

‘jj,’ you repeated quietly, ‘i’m y/n.’

‘pretty name for a pretty face’ he said with a wink making you blush ever so slightly.

‘so.. some other guys swim shorts?’ he asked raising an eyebrow.

‘my brothers. our powers out so the washing machine is working, i had to pick up my family’s stuff from the laundrette. like i was saying, get your head out the gutter jj.’ you finally finished. ‘so, you coming in then? or you scared i’m gonna show you up?’ you teased.

‘oh, i’m definitely not scared princess. go on in, i’ll meet you out there.’ you did as he said and warmed up in the water relaxing instantly. jj dived in after you just minutes later, splashing next to you causing you to laugh.

‘ready to see some real moves y/n? learn a thing or two?’ he said as he began paddling further in.

‘we’ll see about that jj’ as you followed him into the waves.

you two surfed and laughed until the early afternoon, both showing off your best moves and tricks to each other, both trying to not let on how impressed you both were at each others skills in fear of feeding into one another’s egos too much.

you both decided to head back to shore, feeling exhausted and hungry and a little bit heat stricken. jj collapsed onto the sand making a loud groan as he hit the floor. you sat down next to him opening up your little lunch box you had packed for the day and sharing it with the boy next to you. ‘yes! i’m starving!’ he exclaimed basically devouring almost all the sandwich you had made.

‘it’s a pretty pathetic lunch sorry,’ you said staring at the plain sandwich. ‘but at least one of us came prepared though’ you joked nudging his side. jj however, did not laugh at the poor joke, he sat up straight, reality kicking him right in the balls.

‘oh shit!’ he shouted ‘shit shit shit shit shit’ he scrambled up from his previous place in the sand and quickly gathered his clothes throwing them back on quickly, leaving you feeling slightly disappointed.

‘i’m so sorry y/n i have to go’ he apologised coming back over to you.

‘oh right okay..’ you said slowly as you stood up too.

‘shit,’ he looked at you with hope in his eyes ‘do you know your way around this beach much at all? i was with my friends.. um camping and i need to get back to them but i don’t know where they were shit!’ he seemed really stressed.

‘hey hey jj, calm down, yeah i should be able to help. do you remember where you were camping near at least?’ you said putting your clothes back on.

‘erm well it was on the beach.. and there was like this big rock, like a really big rock!’ he said looking at you as if that was gonna give you a lightbulb moment.

‘okay.. well let’s go find it’ you say gesturing him to guide you in hopefully the right direction at least.

you walked back over the rocky beach that jj came through to get to the cove. ‘i’m sorry about this by the way’ he spoke up looking back over at you reaching out his hand to help you down from the rocks.

you smiled back at him taking his hand ‘it’s okay, i’ve had fun. nothing i expected from today but it’s been fun.’

‘it has.’ he replied.

‘so do you not have a phone? can you not just get their location, try ring them atleast?’ you questioned realising that would make the current situation a lot easier.

‘yeah um, we’ve kinda gone rouge. not really option..’ he stayed close to you as you walked down the beach looking for this ‘big rock’. ‘it can’t be far though, it didn’t take that long to find you’ he said with a smile.

‘full survival mode, sweet. not practical but i respect it.’ although you secretly kind of hoped that you would struggle to find his camp. you liked being around him, it was easy.

‘that’s pogue life for you.’

but before you could even begin to question what a pogue was someone screamed from a distance snapping you both out of your conversation.

‘JJ!’ before you knew it there were little figures running towards you both.

‘hey look there’s the rock! we found them!’ jj said to you smiling causing you to giggle and roll your eyes.

a girl around your height was the first reach you both slowing down as she clocked your presence next to the blonde boy. the rest of the group caught up all looking exhausted and extremely concerned.

‘jj where the hell have you have you been?! who the fuck is this?!’ wow okay rude you thought as you looked to the ground with wide eyes.

‘woah kie chill, she’s cool’ he said attempting to calm her down but instead doing the opposite. she looked at you in disgust before looking back at jj.

‘jj what the fuck man? where have you been?!’

‘we’ve been worried sick!’

‘guys guys just chill okay, i’m fine and i’m sorry! i just lost track of time just give me a minute to explain!’ he retorted back to them all.

‘you left us with no warning for some girl are you serious??’ the girl jj referred to as kie piped up again. whatever was going on was all way too dramatic and clearly too complicated for your liking.

‘j i’m just gonna go, i’ll see you around’ you said softly to the boy before turning around and heading back.

‘j? is she serious?’ you heard someone scoff behind your back, as you presumed it was the curly haired girl. you debated snapping back for the comments and looks you had just received in the past two minutes but just simply rolled your eyes at the childish behaviour. you enjoyed jj’s company but if these were his friends maybe it wasn’t worth it. you simply rolled your eyes and carried on walking.

‘y/n, y/n wait!’ jj chased after you.

‘jj? man?’ one of the boys questioned.

‘i know i know just give me a minute okay and i’ll explain everything!’ he shouted back at them before they all huffed and gave you both a minute.

‘y/n look i’m so sorry about that, i promise you they’re not like that usually it’s just ..’ he stopped looking for the words, ‘it’s just a really complicated situation right now okay, it’s hard to explain i just-‘

‘you don’t have to explain jj’ you cut him off. ‘you don’t know me and i don’t know you. i’ve had fun today and it was nice to have that break from reality but we clearly both have other things to worry about. you look after yourself.’ you said and turned on your heel before he could respond. you felt disappointed but let’s be real, it was too good to true.

jj just stood there not knowing what to say watching you walk away. john b came up behind him putting his hand on his shoulder.

‘i don’t know what you got up to today, i don’t even know if i want to. but bro, we have too much shit going on right now.’ he said to him.

‘i know man.’ jj replied sighing.

‘come on,’ john b pulled them both around heading back to the rest of the pogues. ‘we should but a tag on you bro, or a bell. too many surprises from you’ they both laughed.

‘sorry man, won’t happen again’ jj saluted.

‘yeah well, the others might want a better apology than that. kie’s pissed’

jj looked over his shoulder one last time, you already out of sight. he sighed, ‘yeah i know’

[aerequets]

can you give me some webtoon recommendations? name some of your favorites! :)

i am here to answer folks 😎

all of these webtoons can be found on webtoons.com! I'm not sure about the whole daily pass thing they've got going on (which sucks tbh) but like,,, you could probably find it online illegally. NOT THAT I CONDONE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY HAHAHAHA ᵖˢˢᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ

I'll split these up between completed and in progress :) most are still in progress though

COMPLETED

1) Gourmet Hound (166 chapters)

this is like, my all time favorite webtoon. it follows Lucy and her quest to find all the chefs that left her favorite restaurant, Dimanche! it’s a really heartfelt story and the food illustrations make you really hungry, so make sure you have a snack before you sit down to read it. each character’s name is also food-related, so that’s pretty cool too! and the diversity in this webtoon is AMAZING. it’s the only webtoon i’ve ever read that has a hijabi character in the main cast. the development is done really well and it explores themes of loving and letting go. all in all, it has a bit of everything. i personally love food-related things, and this centers around it, so i was set LOL

(also a bonus is that this webtoon has NOT succumbed to daily pass hell, so you can binge read the whole thing. legally.)

2) Hooky (200 chapters)

if you like stories of witches, this is the one! the summary and beginning chapters are deceptively lighthearted. DO NOT BE FOOLED! the story really develops further on and explores numerous conflicts, a big one being (if i remember correctly) witch vs. nonwitch. if you like to see struggles between two sides, not a good-and-evil but just people-who-want-the-best-for-themselves-and-their-loved-ones type of thing, this is good for that. also, sibling love! the two main characters are Dani and Dorian, and while there is someee romance, i like how this story centers around the siblings first and foremost. ALSO THE ART??? I LOVE HOW THE AUTHOR DRAWS SETTINGS SO MUCH and am unabashedly jealous because i am completely incapable of doing so   just like,,,, even if the story doesn’t pull you in, you can at least stare at each panel for long stretches of time.

(unfortunately succumbed to daily pass, but you can read it on mangaowl or manganelo!)

3) Spirit Fingers (167 chapters)

aww, this one is cute. Amy is 18 and lacking in self confidence (her family definitely doesn’t help). but HEY she joins a wacky art club!! without her parents knowing!! HECK YEAH!! unfortunately it takes more than joining an art club for her to learn to love herself (it is a long journey after all!). i love this webtoon because it explores the problems of multiple people, not just amy: her high achieving brothers, her mother who had to give up her dream, the different members in the art club, Amy’s girl friends. the art is unique and has a cool watercolor-y texture! and the main couple is just adorable, too. if you’re an artist especially, i recommend this because that’s a big theme and you get to see these characters expand their art styles! which is very cool!

(you can read this one fully on 1stkissmanga)

now here’s where the majority of my recs are:

IN PROGRESS (all can be read on webtoon.com)

1) The Makeup Remover (currently 71 chapters)

i look forward to this every tuesday and friday because oh man!!!!!!!!! idk about you guys, but i am thinking about beauty standards A Large Amount of the time, especially when i consume media. and this webtoon is all about beauty standards (specifically in Korea, but still applicable like. everywhere). Main character Yeseul ends up having to partake in this beauty competition and, with her experiences through it, she begins seeing makeup and beauty standards for the huge role they play in society. i said it already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this webtoon because it really challenges you as a reader to think about your own perspectives. why do we find the things/people beautiful that we do? what shapes our perception? how much of it is marketing, and how much of it shows in our daily lives? what assumptions do you make about people based on how they look? AGHH im sounding like an essay prompt instead of a reviewer but man. if you like webtoons that examine society through a critical lens (gosh i sound like an english teacher), this is the one. 

2) Odd Girl out (currently 261 chapters; on season 2) 

okay, first and foremost: if you’re NOT into long winded drama, this probably isn’t it for you. i will admit im not a fan of long problems that get dragged out, especially in a school setting, but i did keep reading this webtoon and i am glad that i did! the character development here is amazing and ONE CRUCIAL THING is that the whole first season (which is many, many chapters. at least over 100) focuses on the friendship between our main 4 girls. if you don’t wanna wait for a romance storyline (which comes in season 2), then you’ve gotta have the patience of a saint. i loved this though because lots of romance webtoons cast friendships aside or use them to further the romantic plot. platonic relationships are great to read about and this one does it masterfully! main character nari is resilient and emotionally strong, and it’s great to see her ruin her enemies

3) Cursed Princess Club (currently 110 chapters; on break before the final season)

this is another one about beauty and societal expectations, but in a fantasy setting! it’s really funny and the cast of characters is heartwarming. Gwen is a princess, but she doesn’t look like the typical princess. she accidentally stumbles upon the Cursed Princess Club, which is exactly what it sounds like: a club for princesses that have been cursed and are trying to find their self worth despite not being conventional princesses! now that i think about it, this is like a lighthearted mixture of Makeup Remover and Spirit Fingers. although while i do say “lighthearted”, this webtoon has its fair share of mysteries and exploration of deeper topics. but its funny throughout

4) Brass & Sass (currently 83 chapters)

ahh this one is really cute and the art is cute, too! i also like how this has a diverse cast. high schooler Camilla kinda sucks at band, but dangit if she’s not passionate. Victor is some type of musical prodigy but he’s a brass-hole (hahaha get it. no that’s not original i ripped it from the summary). now i KNOW I KNOW, the whole “perky girl and asshole guy” is so overplayed BUT DON’T FRET! this isn’t the type of story where the girl “fixes” the guy, or where the guy is an asshole to everyone except the girl. believe me, the character development and relationship development in this story is SPLENDID. there’s no real antagonist. it’s just a bunch of high schoolers trying their best to make themselves and everyone else happy, and that’s hard! the story is carried more by the characters than by the plot, but it works well in this case since the characters are strong and each one has a presence. 

5) Surviving Romance (currently 10 chapters)

this one is relatively new compared to my other recs but it’s by the author of the Makeup Remover so yaknow i had to hop on it. BUT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT! first off, it’s a horror, so keep that in mind. the best way i can describe it is a mixture of the standard “girl falls into a story” genre, Groundhog Day, and zombies. Yeah. Bascially, Chaerin is our main girl and she’s in a romance story that’s she’s read a bajillion times, so she knows the day has come for her male lead to confess his love! except he doesn’t! because he becomes a zombie instead! hahaha well that sucks! it’s only got 10 chapters but i am very into it, and it seems to be taking an emphasis on platonic relationships, so i am very closely watching 👁👁

6) The Witch and the Bull (currently 60 chapters) 

another witch story! and the art is GORGEOUS. more witch + nonwitch conflict, too! our main dude, Tan, is the royal advisor and he’s hella bigoted against witches. our main girl, Aro, happens to be a witch. and Tan needs her help to make him into a human again (because he got turned into a bull. that is worth mentioning). this is a very barebones summary and there’s a lot more that goes on, but that’s the general gist of the beginning!

ANYWAYS. this got very long, predictably, and i rambled for each title, predictably. i’ve got more that i’m reading, but i really like these 9! i also made comments on the art for a lot of them, which might not matter to some people, but i feel like my art was very impacted by each webtoon i read. if you’re an artist i recommend finding a webtoon you like and studying the art; try implementing parts you like into your own style! 

anyways, i am FINALLY done talking. bye yall 

[dearcat1]

Hi there! I absolutely adore Xanxu's parenting adventures, but I could only find 8 & 9. Is there a tag I can check out for the others? Sorry for the bother, super excited to read it! Thank you for writing it!

Screw it hahaha that tag is not working no matter what I do about it. I'm just going to post everything that's already published here. So: sorry about the long post.

And for anybody who's interested in reading it, I'm putting the next ones under "parenting adventures au". That should be a better tag.

I hope you like it! I meant for it to be cute.

[Xanxus’s terrible bad day]

Part 1 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures

Xanxus does not, in any way shape or form, appreciate mad scientists. He spits out the blood, cleaning up the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. The other hand keeping a tight grip on his remaining x-gun. Irritated, he just keeps glaring at the toddler whimpering in front of him. 

Seriously?

What the fuck!

How is this even his life, Xanxus doesn't know but he demands a fucking raise. And all the goddam alcohol. All of it. Every single fucking drop.

This is ridiculous. The enemy is dead and even Xanxus feels a little uncomfortable with the amount of blood and dead bodies surrounding a two-year-old. Or what looks like a two-year-old, in Xanxus rather uninformed opinion. 

Brat picks himself up, eyes still watery and then… oh no, oh no, no, no. He makes grabby hands at Xanxus. Xanxus sneers, uncomfortable but the newly miniaturized Sawada just pouts stubbornly, stumbling on wet sticky blood as he tries to make his way to the older Sky. 

Xanxus's reaction is pure instinct. He lunges forward, grabs the kid by the back of his overly large hoodie and pulls him up. Brat settles on Xanxus's hip, tiny face hidden against Xanxus's shoulder and the Wrath stands there, feeling more than a little awkward. 

Alright, then, he thinks. Fuck it. So an armful of mini-mini-Sawada in one arm, a gun in the other hand. Base full of dead people who are either already dead or soon to be. Because Xanxus is through like that. 

Clearing his throat, Xanxus hoists the brat up a little more and stalks out of the room. Cleaning up the base is easy enough, finding Byakuran's little note on the desk should be more of a surprise than it is. 

"Have fun on your vacation! You can bond now ~ :3"

Right, Xanxus needs a raise, all the alcohol, and a marshmallow enthusiast killing season. 

[Cabin by the sea]

Part 2 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures

Finding the little cabin by the sea is easy enough with the handy map the marshmallow freak left for them. Mini-mini-Sawada is a surprisingly obedient toddler so Xanxus is still uncomfortable but at least he isn't deaf from crying fits. 

The only time the brat had cried, it had been silent sad tears that managed to make Xanxus feel like an ass when the brat confessed to being hungry. 

Note to self: brats need food. 

So Xanxus had settled in in the little cabin, laid the brat down on the smaller bed for the night and thrown himself to his own bed, intent on waiting this shit out. 

Except that he'd been woken up in the middle of the night by a toddler sneaking into his bed and now Xanxus can't sleep because mini-mini-Sawada is tiny. As in smaller than Xanxus's chest tiny and Xanxus is not a good man, he's not a kind man. 

But there's a toddler sleeping on his chest, all trust and far too delicate limbs and Xanxus finds himself terrified of falling asleep because what if when he does, he moves and crushes the little brat under him? Then the brat would suffocate and die. 

And yes, Xanxus could, potentially, just pick up the brat and return him to his own bed. But what if he doesn't wake up the next time the brat sneaks in? Because if Xanxus has learned something these last couple of days is that mini-mini-Sawada might be mellow but he also has a stubborn bone that won't be reasoned with.

In the end, Xanxus ends up staying awake all night, staring at the ceiling with a hand keeping the toddler in place, just in case he rolls over and falls to his death or something. He waits until the hour changes from absolutely ridiculous to marginally decent to leave the bed.

Doing stuff with a toddler on his arm is easier now that he has practice, his morning routine is no different. It's just when he reaches the point of taking a shower that he finds himself at a loss. They stink, they need to wash. Xanxus has no idea how to clean a brat and he's pretty sure that toddlers don't wash themselves. 

Xanxus looks longingly at his phone and snarls, ignoring mini-Tsunayoshi stirring in his arm. "Fucking dimension without YouTube. What the fuck."

[Watery warfare]

Part 3 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures

Xanxus decides on the bathtub for practicality. It seems like a bath would be easier to handle with a toddler than a shower. Especially a sleepy, clingy toddler. Except that the second Xanxus set the brat down, brat went absolutely fucking insane. 

Watching bemusedly as the brat slaps the water around, Xanxus ignores the mess it's making on the floor and chuckles. "Yeah? Show it who's the boss, shitty brat." 

Tsunayoshi just screams louder, cackling like a maniac.

"Yeah, yeah." Shrugging, Xanxus sits down on the tub, ready to wash himself. He'll clean up mini-mini-Sawada after.

Mini-mini-Sawada has other ideas, however. As soon as Xanxus settles down, the toddler reaches for him and Xanxus helps him sit beside him, lest he falls down and drowns. "What? I thought you were in the middle of a war, trash. Can't just abandon that, you know?" 

The toddler just sticks his fingers in the shampoo Xanxus has just poured into his hand.

"No, that's not for you." Xanxus rolls his eyes, scrubbing his hair and ignoring mini-Tsunayoshi watching him curiously. Ok, so maybe Xanxus might be developing a bit of a soft spot for the toddler. Maybe. It's just… the brat's flames might still be dormant at this age but that doesn't change the fact that whatever is still there… it resonates with Xanxus. 

And that's a relief. It is, because it means that Xanxus might not be Timoteo's but he's still Vongola enough for this. Besides, the resonance helped Xanxus get over his initial 'ew, baby' aversion and is probably the reason the brat was so quick to trust Xanxus.

He wonders if it'll translate to the grown Sawada, once he returns. 

There's just something about mini-mini-Sawada, so small, so breakable and so trusting, that makes Xanxus feel a little protective.

[Shopping trip]

Part 4 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures

It takes Xanxus about a week to concede that this won't be a quick matter. Which means that they need clothes. Xanxus could, in theory, keep washing his uniform daily and it wouldn't be a problem. Except he's fucking tired of doing laundry and the brat can't keep wearing the same oversized hoodie for days on end. 

He turns to look at mini-mini-Sawada, who is curled up in Bester's flank, fast asleep, and sighs. It seems they're going shopping.

Which is easier said than done. Unearthing the wad of cash and credit card the marshmallow freak left behind is easy enough, taking mini-mini-Sawada is easy as well. As long as Xanxus doesn't put him down, they're alright. 

No, the issue comes from the clerk who is watching Xanxus like he's wondering whether he should seek the police on him for kidnapping. But Xanxus is still a Sky, no matter that he doesn't do the polite charming shit that Tsunayoshi and Cavallone are so fond of. 

"We had a little accident," Xanxus shrugs, gruff. "He needs clothes." 

Still, the clerk seems unsure until mini-mini-Sawada straightens in Xanxus's hold to point at something in the store. "Ansus! Beste! Look, Beste!" 

Bester, Xanxus knows, is back in his box but he turns to look all the same. He takes a good look at the white cat plushie and laughs. "Yeah, that's Bester alright."

Ignoring the now bemused clerk, Xanxus makes his way to that rack and offers Mini-Tsunayoshi the plushie. The toddler grabs it instantly, cuddling it to his chest and Xanxus snorts, catching a look at bath toys down the ail. Well, fuck it. They're spending Byakuran's money anyway, might as well treat themselves.

"Come on, you need ammunition for your next bath."

It is entirely possible that Xanxus got a little shopping happy but he gives about zero shits, the tiny shirt with a printed 'Mini-Boss' on it is Xanxus's absolute favourite. 

He buys his own clothes quickly and makes a bee-line for the cabin, mini-mini-Sawada cheerfully waving goodbye to the shopping mall.

[Nap]

Part 5 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures

What the fuck, Xanxus thinks, bemusedly. It should have been fine. The weather had been nice and the cabin has a nice piece of beach right there so Xanxus had taken the brat out and yes, maybe, Xanxus took advantage of the nice weather to take a nice nap.

But it should have been fine, Bester had been napping with the brat. Covered by the shade. And the brat never wanders off anyway. Bester would have woken Xanxus up if something had happened or handled it himself.

And yet, here they are. 

Xanxus wakes up to find Tsunayoshi sitting next to a hole, definitely of Bester’s making and lapping the water from it? 

He has questions, Xanxus has so many questions. 

First, how did they get water inside the hole? Where does this water come from? Also, why? Bester looks too damn proud of himself, Xanxus adores him but right now, he’s not sure he trusts the liger. Tsunayoshi laps the water again, makes a disgusted face and repeats. “What the fuck?”

Laughing helplessly, Xanxus stands up, patting the sand off of his clothes. “What are you doing, you little shit?” He picks mini-Tsunayoshi up, settling him on his hip.

The brat tries to reach for Bester, “juice?”

“No,” Xanxus chortles, gesturing for Bester to follow. “That’s not juice, trash. That’s seawater at best. What the fuck.”

“Fuck!”

“Shit,” Xanxus picks up their stuff with their other hand and makes his way back inside the cabin to hunt down some juice. “Your parents are going to lose their shit over that, aren’t they?” Toddlers usually don’t use curse words, he knows that much. Then, he remembers that the father in question is fucking Iemitsu and shrugs it off.

[Tuna-fishy]

Part 6 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures

They get returned to their original universe about 4 months in, to them at least. It looks like they’ve been gone for barely a week on their own. Xanxus doesn’t care about that, he’s more concentrated on the strained little smile Byakuran is sending to mini-mini-Sawada. 

“What!?” Xanxus snaps, ignoring the toddler’s face hidden against his neck. Brat is shy, that’s all.

“Aaah, yes,” Byakuran shifts uncomfortably, sending a bemused look Xanxus’s way before looking back down to Sawada. “That wasn’t part of the plan?”

“Are you fucking asking?” Xanxus ignores mini-mini-Sawada trying to share his crumpled snack and twitches, debating the virtues of calling Bester or seeking his elements on this moron. 

Iemitsu, apparently, decides that’s his moment to shine. Bastard has been starry-eyed since the second he caught sight of the toddler in Xanxus’s arms. And no, Xanxus is, in no way, shape or form, annoyed by this. The consigliere steps forward, big goofy smile on his face, “Tuna-fishy! Come to papa!”

And mini-Tsunayoshi loses his shit, loses it completely. As in loud screams and tears and a grip hard enough on Xanxus’s shirt that the Wrath wonders for a second whether he’ll rip it. Xanxus reacts on instinct because he’s been looking after this tiny brat for months now.

He shifts his weight to put distance between his toddler and the idiotic blonde and points his gun directly between the asshole’s eyes. His elements react with him, of course, and Xanxus finds himself bracketed between Squalo and Lussuria, all traces of humour lost. 

“What the fuck, trash?” The question is met with silence but all of them saw the way the toddler’s mostly dormant flames recoiled from the man. 

Byakuran steps forward, hands up in placation. “Now, now, no need for this.” He lays a restraining hand on Sawada’s shoulder, “I do believe it might be sweet Tsuna’s nap time?”

Xanxus takes the out, pivoting from his spot but not holstering his gun until he makes it all the way to the car. The brat is still making his best impression of a limpet and Xanxus sighs, cleaning some of the tears off the kid’s face. 

“Fuck, Ansus,” the brat mutters sadly into the fabric of his plushie.

“Yeah, yeah, what the fuck.”

Somewhere in the background, Lussuria coos.

[Apple Slices]

Part 7 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures.

Xanxus wakes up with a tiny brat nestled on his stomach and Bester stretched out by his side. Right. He starts the morning routine without thinking much about it before he remembers that they’re not in the little cabin by the beach anymore. 

And by remembers, he means he gets forcibly reminded by Squalo breaking down his door with a “voi! Wake up, shitty boss!” Lusurria trailing happily after the swordsman with breakfast in hand. 

“You trash!” Xanxus growls quietly, “if you wake up the little brat, you’re dealing with the pouting!”

Luckily for all of them, the toddler has migrated to Bester’s flank while Xanxus went around preparing the things needed for the bad and is now busy sleeping away, face buried in his plushie. 

“And get more napkins,” at Lussuria's odd look he adds, "brat's a messy eater."

Though now it seems like they'll be eating before bathing which is actually more practical. Why hadn't he thought of that? Doesn't really matter, this is how they will do things now. He picks up his own plate and eats quietly, ignoring Squalo's attempts to get Xanxus to do paperwork with the ease of long practice. Only once he's done he goes to pick mini-Tsunayoshi up, settling the sleepy toddler on his lap.

Tsunayoshi is more asleep than awake but he’s docile enough. “Juice?”

Xanxus’s mouth twitches up, “yeah, sure.”

Lussuria squeals, offering him a glass and Xanxus just knows, with one look, that shit is going to get messy. He accepts the apple slice being shoved into his mouth and says nothing. Luss can deal with this shit. "It's good," Xanxus approves, giving the brat another.

Mini-Mini-Sawada bites half of it off and then promptly falls asleep, slumping bonelessly to the side. Xanxus catches him before he can fall off, caught between incredulity and laughter. "The fuck?"

(Juice)

Part 8 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures

Xanxus stalks into his office with mini-mini-Sawada on his hip. The Varia as a whole are smart enough to know that if he has one arm tied up in keeping the toddler in place, it means he still has one hand free to shoot them dead. “You trash,” he growls at the closest grunt, “bring me my wine!”

“Juice!” Mini-mini-Sawada adds, waving happily.

“And juice,” Xanxus adds, patting mini-mini-Sawada’s head agreeably. He lets the brat down on the floor inside his office, eyeing the paperwork. Fuck that thing, honestly. 

By mini-mini-Sawada’s side, Bester chuffs gently, picking the toddler up by the back of his shirt and settling him between his paws. Mini-Tsunayoshi turns to hug the liger as best he can, happily waving his stuffed toy around and babbling up whatever comes through his head.

Toys, Xanxus decides, they're going to need those. Is two years old too young for a toy gun? Hmm… Well now he has google, doesn't he? Oh look, Timoteo's weekly ridiculous requests. He picks them up with a snort, fishing for some pencils in the drawer. "Here," Xanxus offers them to his brat, "this is your portion."

Mini-Mini-Sawada has taken to imitating everything Xanxus does. If Xanxus indulges him, it's simply because it makes things easier and no other reason whatsoever. He ignores the happy little squeal, smirking at his paperwork. When Squalo comes to pick up their finished piles, he makes a face at the brat's handiwork.

Xanxus glares, absent-mindedly cleaning the toddler's face after their snack. 

Squalo just huffs, irritably pushing his hair out of his face. "Voi, FINE! Don't complain to me if they bitch!"

"Fuck that trash," Xanxus doesn't care about what they want. 

"Trash!" His toddler smashes his juice box in agreement. Xanxus lips twitch. Ok, so he's a little fond.

(Strategy)

Part 9 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures 

Timoteo knows something is going on the moment that the door opens for the Varia's scheduled paperwork drop and it's not only Squalo coming through it but also Mammon and Lussuria. He has half of the Varia in his office when it usually takes months of cajoling to get so much as one other than Squalo. And even then, for this very same dropoff. 

But the Varia are a lot like cats, there's no use in pushing them too much. You have to dangle the bribe and wait for them to come to you. So Timoteo doesn't show hesitation, he simply settles in to give their paperwork a quick check. There's never any blood but he does get a kick out of seeing the progressively more ridiculous fake signatures over the line with his son's name.

This time, it's a toddler’s handprint in ink so strong that some of the text is no longer legible. Timoteo blinks once, twice and then looks up at the gleeful faces of the Varia Officers. "What is this?"

"The mini-boss," Mammon begins, smug and greedy, "is living up to his name,"

Oh, Timoteo realizes, thumbing through the paperwork with new eyes and finding the sort of drawings he hasn't seen in over a decade. Iemitsu had been over yesterday, Timoteo had listened to his ramblings with half an ear but now it's starting to make sense. It hadn't been Iemitsu's usual delusions, Tsunayoshi really is a toddler now. Carefully, Timoteo picks the drawings from the rest of the papers. "Name your price."

Squalo smirks, "vacation. One week, full expenses covered, anywhere we want."

"Done," Timoteo stretches his hand, waiting patiently while Squalo looks inside his bag and comes up with a little plate. Tsunayoshi's small palm is etched on it, colourful kid's drawing decorating the outer sides, under it, in Xanxus's elegant writing, it's Tsunayoshi's name in perfect japanese.

"It's perfect."

"Whatever," Squalo snorts. "Voi, nice doing business with you." Squalo turns on his heel and walks out the door, his two tag-alongs following behind him.

[give-grian-rights]

CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTERE’S TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF

Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki

Crossposted on AO3

Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. “Tubbo! I’m serious, explain some shit, fuckin’ nerd!” Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.

  “Hermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If you’ve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, they’re from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! You’ll find one of their instructions. They’re geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grian’s one of them-”

  “Grian’s one of them!?” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubbo’s grin widened, nodding vigorously. “Yes! He’s the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys he’s teammates with every MCC, they’re usually other Hermits!” They’d continue explaining to the best of their ability.

  “Should’ve fuckin’ started with the fact that Grian’s here! That fuckin’ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!” The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.

  The brunett nodded along, chuckling. “Yeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ‘n stuff? They’ve started posting and sharing discoveries about that.  I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the ‘Hermits’ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?” Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.

  Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.

  Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tablet’s robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.

Tubbo wasn’t too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly.  The brunnett wouldn’t be surprised if that was the target of the blond’s current tangent. Tommy hadn’t even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.

  The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy. 

  “Fuckin’ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. It’d be to easy if we’d just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didn’t even care, fuckin’ dick. Bet that green asshole’s just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-” The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boy’s voice became muffled.

  With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. “Why is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?” Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.

  Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boy’s breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. “All of what?” They’d tilt their head.

  The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. “Us. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckin’ complicated. Big Man, you’re president. You’re- you’re the fucking president, now, Tubbo.”

  The bunnett’s brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. “Yeah. But it’s- it’s still us, y’know? If- if life was easy, then we’d be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-”

“We’d always meet eachother, Tubbo. There’s no fuckin’ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.” The blond nudged the teen’s shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.

  That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. “I hope so, Tommy.” They’d chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommy’s side sigh an exhausted sigh.

  “This is just, livin’ the fucking life, huh?” Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.

  His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. “We’ll figure this shit out tomorrow..” Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.

  Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasn’t given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before he’d be pulled into slumber as well.

  Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.

Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommy’s eyes.

  “W- Holy shit!  You’re Grian!” Tommy squawked indignantly.

  Tubbo’s head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights. 

  The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. “Uh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah?  I’ve seen you at most of the MCC’s I’ve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! I’m really looking forward to the next one!” 

This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.

  Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.

Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadn’t betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.

  “This is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!” Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused. 

  “Oh! I- well thank you! I’m glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!” He’d take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.

  The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. “Ello there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,” She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her.  “We just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?”

  Tommy quietly hummed skeptically,  surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors must’ve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.

  “Fine, sure..Well, we’re still fuckin’ breathing, and we’re here. So you don’t really need to be here any longer, yeah?” Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side. 

  “Thank you, for checking in. I- I’m sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, that’s my bad.” They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stress’ attention, turning towards the tene.

  “Oh, no! This isn’t a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!” Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.

  Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I’m not the only example of that happening- you didn’t have to pick me out specifically!”

  “Sure I do, Love! You’re the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!” She cheered. Stress’ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldn’t help but smile and cackle at her and Grian’s banter.

“Uh huh,” Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. “Last I checked, that was Iskall’s job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didn’t really hurt all that bad, but it’s a matter of the principle!”

  Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. “I forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!” She chostled, shaking her head fondly.

  She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. “They won’t give you any hard time, they’re just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..They’re usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!” She giggled, covering her mouth.

  Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. “Yeah- they, they sound like something.” It was..A strange environment, to be sure.

  Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didn’t know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.

  Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dream’s server. 

  The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.

  “We’re glad to see you’re both alright, but, I don’t think we’ve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..We’d be happy to help you however we can.  We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.”

  Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. “The… Cow..merical district?” He’d repeat, squinting.

  Grian snickered, nodding. “Yeah! The name just stuck. It’s our shopping district. We have a bakery- it’s never, ever too early for cake. There’s Doc’s shop, but that’s all villager-bought, if it’s the rare occasion that it’s stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.” He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.

  “Only if you’d want to,” Stress would interject. “Either of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. You’re allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.”

  The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermits’ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.

  “..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?” Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.

  Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. “I came prepared, just in-case!” She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.

  “If you know how to use elytras, X already said he’s more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well.  But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.” Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him. 

  Tommy didn’t pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. “What! I don’t think i’ve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!” He pulled out the stack of sixteen.

  One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldn’t remember a time he had so many enderpearls.

  “Thank you! Wow- yeah, pearls aren’t really common in our server!  This- this is really nice!” They felt giddy, as they pulled their’s out as well, the action muscle-memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you two can put them to good-use, then!” She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.

  Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.

  “Tommy! What did you do?” Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.

  “Nothing!” Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.

  At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.

  “Truer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.” He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.

  Grian grinned, nodding. “Yes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and we’ll fly out to you.” He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand. 

  Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. “You got this, Toob?” He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water. 

  “Yeah! I’ve got this, Big Man! No sweat!” They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.

  Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece,  primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.

  With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it  break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.

  Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.

  The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.

  Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.

“I want to drive! Tommy, i’m driving us!” Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.

“Tubbo! I’m not gettin’ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of ‘driving’ is no one elses, my friend.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.

  “C’mon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!” They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.

  Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.

  Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didn’t get a good look, but, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didn’t like it.

  “Alright,” The older Brit at hand started. “We’re real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there aren’t any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.” He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.

  “Sure, then! That sounds g- wait, what’s that name?”

“C’mon, then!” Grian wouldn't answer Tubbo’s valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.

  It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadn’t felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.

  Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.

  Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 26 Transcript: Shakespeare Misogyny Points But Only As Seen On Supernatural

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, my name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen this show several times…

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we're both Asian.

G: Both Asian!

So for today's episode, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 4: “Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things,” written by Raelle Tucker, directed by Kim Manners.

C: I’m on Raelle’s side in the break up.

G: I'm literally on Raelle’s side as well. This episode- what's fascinating is, at the beginning of the podcast, we said that we wouldn't care that much about monster of the week episodes. Do you remember that?

C: Yeah.

G: And then now that we get our first monster of the week episode of season 2 that's literally just a monster of the week, I'm so relieved, like, I'm so happy to have finally stumbled upon one.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Thank god, back to being normal about people.

G: I know.

So before going in, we just want to announce that we have started releasing extra bits in our Ko-Fi, starting last week, as a thank-you to the people who have pitched in for the podcast. And if you're one of those people, and you can’t access the bonus content for whatever reason, but mainly because 30 days has passed since you pitched into the podcast, just email us and we'll send you the link to whatever it is that we're doing.

Okay, so before the episode starts, Crystal, what did you think about this one before going in?

C: So I didn't really know anything from the title, but I did know that there was a case at some point in Supernatural where like, this girl dies, and then she gets brought back from the dead by someone who's in love with her, but I didn't know it was this episode until a few minutes in when I was like, “Oh, yeah, it's probably here.”

G: I think I was clued in by the title. I didn't really know what the episode was gonna be before going in, like, I don't know which one it would be, but I was clued in by the fact that it's a necromancy episode because of the title. It just- this episode reminded me a lot of future necromancy episodes, which- I like necromancy as a thing that happens in Supernatural, so I think that's partly why I enjoyed this one.

C: Yeah.

G: Spoiler! [laughs] I enjoyed it.

-

G: So for the beginning of the episode, we start with a guy and a girl in a house together, and the guy, immediately, like, right off the bat, exudes “nice guys finish last.”

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: "I'm the boy best friend" type of guy, you know. And he is treating this girl because she is going through a breakup. Just as they are getting comfortable, there's a banging at the door. It's the girls ex, and it's implied that this guy- the ex- it's his fault, that's why they broke up, because Angela seems to be really upset that he's here. So Neil, the guy, says, "Oh wait, hold on, I'll just answer the door. Don't worry, I won’t let him come in.” Then he opens the door and he's like, “Matt” - who is this girl’s ex - “don't come in, she's upset, she doesn't want to see you,” and Matt was like, “Get out of the way, loser boy! [both laugh]" and immediately tosses him aside. As they go in, they see that the window has been opened and Angela is nowhere to be seen. We find Angela in the middle of the highway. She's driving a car, and Matt, her ex, is calling her. Matt is saying “I'm sorry, Angela,” all that, and Angela is upset, and they keep on typing and typing over the phone until Angela hits the side of the road and crashes and dies. And we end the teaser with Matt on the phone calling out for Angela as blood drips onto the phone.

I like this because, like, it keeps you on edge. You don't know what's gonna happen, right?

C: Yeah, yeah. I liked that it was a totally mundane death with no supernatural elements involved.

G: Yeah, especially because there's a bit of back and forth between Sam and Dean on whether this is supernatural at the beginning of the episode, so a part of you is like, "Maybe it is, maybe it is not,” you know?

C: Mm-hm. How old did you think that Angela, Neil, and Matt were in this episode at the beginning? Because we find out later that they’re college kids, but they look fully like, 25 to 30.

G: What is- this is something I was wondering about, because I'm pretty sure TAs are like, master's degree job, right? Neil is a TA, so I was wondering, like, is this kids who are doing their master's?

C: Yeah, they could be graduate students. That makes a bit more sense.

-

C:We go to the Impala where Dean is driving again- booo! and Sam is in the passenger seat. Booo! [laughs] And Dean’s telling Sam that he's being stupid ‘cause Sam is going to visit Mary's grave, which is just a headstone because there was no body left after the fire. And we find out that the headstone was put up by her uncle, who Sam and Dean have never met.

G: Have never met.

C: And it's like, why haven't they met him?

G: First of all, why is it not John's job to put up the headstone?

C: Yeah! Sorry, did he blow all of the college money on ammunition by like a week after Mary's death? [both laugh]

G: Yeah, immediately after Mary died. He was like, "Let's buy guns. It's been my lifelong dream." [both laugh] I think- it's fascinating to me, because whose side of the family is this uncle?

C: Um, Mary's uncle, right?

G: Oh, Mary's uncle, or Sam and Dean's uncle?

C: Yeah, no, it was, like, it says it was quote unquote "her uncle."

G: Ohh. I was confused because I was like, "Does Mary have a brother?" I must have misheard. That makes more sense. [laughs]

C: Why wasn't it John's responsibility, and also, if this guy cares enough about Mary that he put up a headstone for her when her own husband didn't bother, then, like, it seems like he'd want to meet Sam and Dean. Like, why didn't they stay with him instead of like, getting eaten by monsters in motels?

Yeah, so Sam tells Dean that the body isn't the point; it's about Mary's memory. Which I guess is sort of similar to him, saying that Dean was besmirching John's memory last episode. And I guess I wonder if Sam cares more about the memories of his dead relatives because he's more religious and thus like, actually believes that they're still around and watching him, whereas Dean probably thinks they're just gonesies.

G: I think it's just- for Sam like, memories is not even a thing for him for Mary, right?

C: Yeah.

G: So he is able to internalize the more abstract idea of "it's for her memory," because he doesn't have those memories. Dean has those memories, or at least some of it, so he is more against the idea of like, capitalizing on that, I guess, for your own personal benefit.

C: Yeah. That makes sense. [laughs] Dean would never project, ever.

So, Sam says that "After Dad, it just feels like the right thing to do, "and Dean says, "It's irrational, is what it is.” [both laugh] Like, grief is about logic?

G: Dean, in another universe, is one of those guys who are obsessed with reason and logic. You know, like, you show and ounce of emotion and he's like, "Being sad is not the logical response to this situation." [C laughs] God.

C: Yeah, exactly, and “I win this debate because you frowned at one point.”

Sam says, like, “You didn't have to come." Dean wants to go back to the Roadhouse to find out stuff about Azazel. And Sam says, "Okay yeah, just drop me off here and I'll hitch a ride and meet you there tomorrow,” and Dean's like, “Uh, no, I'd have to be stuck with those people and make awkward small talk until you show up. Uh-uh.” [laughs] And like, I'm so glad that Dean’s actually like, a total loser without Sam around. We saw it in “Scarecrow,” and now we once more have evidence that if Sam’s not in the room, he cannot have normal conversations with people.

G: I feel like Dean's only "normal" approach to people is when he's flirting, and he already turned down Jo, so, like, it's not going to happen anymore.

C: Exactly. Yeah. He already had his one-night-stand with Ash, and it'd be really like, cringe and embarrassing for him to go back alone, and he's not into MILFs like Sam is, so he's fresh out of options.

-

G: So we're in the graveyard now, and Sam is crying and kneeling over a headstone that says, “Mary Winchester: 1954 to 1983, In Loving Memory.” 1954?

C: I know!

G: What the fuck? [laughs] People are that old?

C: What was even around in the 50s?

G: I have no fucking idea. I have some clothes from the 50s because when my grandmother died, they stole her- I like, ransacked her cabinet. [C laughs] So I have clothes from that era. That's all I know. What the aesthetic was like.

C: I guess she was a teen in the 70s, so I hope that she did a lot of shrooms.

G: Like, for me, my idea of old is like, if you're old, you have to have been alive during World War II, right?

C: Yeah, that's also my idea of being old.

G: So, like, the fact that there's people born in between World War II and 1970 is so weird to me. [laughs]

As Sam is crying over the headstone, he pulls out a set of dog tags - is this what it's called? Military dog tags, right? And obviously, they're John's. And he says, "I think Dad would have wanted you to have these,” and then he drops the tags into a hole that he made on the ground. It's a very- it's a very emotional scene. Sam says "I love you” to his mom. I think this is our second time the word "love" is used for a family member, right? The first one was when Dean said, “I love the man, but he writes like Yoda.”

C: Yeah.

G: But this is our first- this is our first "I love you," and it's to a dead mom, so. [laughs]

C: Slay.

G: Literally slay. She's dead. That's why it's slay.

C: So for John's dog tags, like, the point of them is that you wear them the whole time while you're in combat so that if you're killed and your body is no longer recognizable-

G: Yeah, is recognized-

C: So do we think John died wearing the dog tags and Sam had to like, take them off his corpse neck to give to Mary?

G: I'm assuming.

C: Yeah. What a yikes. [both laugh]

G: I mean, I don't know the culture surrounding military men. I won't pretend to understand them, because I really don't [laughs], but you know.

So Dean is off to the corner, not even near the grave. So he's looking at the grave stone that says "Loving Father." He looks away, like, and makes a face. He walks around, and then he finds a tree. He goes over to it, he knocks it, it's rotten on the inside. He continues looking around, and then as he does, the camera goes to a bird's eye view of the place, and we see that there's a neat little perfect circle right around him of dead grass. It looks really fucking cool! I was a bit-

C: Yeah, it was very cool 'cause there's a big zoom out, like, bird's eye shot, and it sort of looks like all the felled trees in "Lazarus Rising."

G: Yeah, I know.

C: [laughing] I miss Cas.

G: I miss Cas too.

So he looks around some more, and he notices that there are dead leaves in the new grave that he is standing over of. We proceed to a bit later, where Dean is talking to some guy and he takes a card from the guy, and Sam's like, "Oh, what are you doing?" And Dean says, "Oh, there's this girl who's buried here. Her name's Angela Mason, she's a student, and she died last week." And Dean is trying to insist that there's something up with this girl, there's something up with her grave, it's an unholy ground. Sam insists that maybe it's, you know, pesticides. [both laugh] And Dean was like, "No, I talked to the grave guy, there are no pesticides." Dean says, “It could be demonic possession; it could be Angela’s spirit.” And Sam has a very straight face throughout all this. He's not amused, he doesn't believe Dean, and Dean says [laughing], "Well, don't get too excited. You might pull something!" Which I thought was funny. And Sam says that it's quite impossible that they would stumble into a hunt right here, just right beside Mary's grave. Sam says, "Are you sure this is about a hunt and not something else?" And Dean stands over the car and stares down Sam and says, "What else would it be about?" And Sam, just giving up at this point, just says, "You know, forget about it. Let's just move on."

C: Yeah. Last time he tried this, he got punched in the face, so. [laughs]

G: I know. Dean- Dean feels very combative in this scene. He's like, "I let you drag my ass way over here, the least you could do is follow up with this hunt."

C: And Sam gave him an opt-out option, and also like, it's his mom's grave, get over it, Dean.

G: Dean says that they should go to the girl's father, who is a professor in the university.

-

C: So we go to Dr. Mason's office. And they go in to talk to him. Sam introduces them as Sam and Dean, friends of Angela's, here to offer their condolences. When they go in, he's showing Sam a photo album of him with Angela while Dean looks through his bookshelves. [laughing] And Sam says, "She was beautiful!" about this dead girl who he's presumably friends with. And like, he's saying it like it's a revelation. Like, "oh my god, this dead girl that I've known for years is fuckin' hot, bro!" [both laugh]

G: Again, like, we said last episode, this is just something people say, you know? "She was beautiful." But I guess like, the way he said it, he was like, "She was beautiful?!" [both laugh] He was shocked.

C: "Damn, I thought Angela was fugly during all the years we were friends, but now that she's dead, she's smoking, bro!" [both laughing]

G: Noo!

C: Come on, Sam!

Dean at the bookshelf shows that he's looking at this book with like, Greek letters and a triangle symbol on it, and he asks Dr. Mason about it. And apparently, it's ancient Greek because he teaches a course in it. So Dean brings the conversation around to Angela's death, and Dean is basically trying to figure out if she's a ghost. He's going like, "Wow, you know, sometimes when someone dies, it's like they're still around, like, you can still sense them. Do you feel anything like that?" And the whole time, Sam is looking at him like, "Shut up, cut it out, shut up." And Dr. Mason's like, "Yeah, I do feel that way," and Sam, just like, glaring at Dean, goes, "That's perfectly normal, Dr. Mason, especially what you're going through." [G laughs]

G: Do we think Sam is a psychology major? [laughs] With all these insightful remarks about what is it and what isn't normal about grief, I think Sam could have been a fucking insufferable psych major. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, honestly, yeah. Yeah, we've discussed what we think Sam's major was, and I think psychology is actually a pretty good option because he really gets his armchair psychologist on in this episode.

And he's looking at Dean because he's going like, "Dean, it would be normal for you to feel like John's presence is still around. [G laughs] You can talk to me bro. And also, stop bothering this poor fucking man!" Dr. Mason says that he still calls his daughter sometimes because he forgets that she's no longer alive. And he says, "Family is everything, you know? Angie was the most important thing in my life, and now, I'm just lost without her." Sam says, "We're very sorry," and they head out.

-

G: So back into the motel room, Sam and Dean start arguing on whether this is really a case. It's the usual. Dean's insistent, Sam's like, "Why would it be a case? This girl is perfectly normal; she's not the vengeful spirit type." Dean insists that maybe her father doesn't really know Angela well, so maybe we should talk to her other friends. And Sam is just not taking the bait. He says, "I think I know what's going on here. It's the only reason I went along with you this far. This is about Mom's grave." And then he reveals that, as we saw earlier, Dean wouldn't even step a reasonable distance within it. He says, "Maybe you're imagining a hunt where there isn't one so you don't have to think about Mom. Or Dad." And then! [C sighs] And then Sam says, "If you want, you can take another swing. Go ahead, if it will make you feel better."

C: Ugh!! Ugh.

G: What a thing to say.

C: What a thing to say! I, like, I know that their dynamic doesn't get properly abusive until later, but like, that line was like a "Oh. Something- there's something very wrong going on here."

G: Yeah, and I feel so sad for Sam that he feels like this is a reasonable thing to say to Dean.

C: Yeah.

G: It's absolutely not. [laughs] "Just hit me if it makes you feel better" is not something that Sam should be saying to Dean, but alas, here we are.

Dean gets upset and then he says he's gonna go for a drink alone. And then he leaves.

We then go to Matt's house. Matt is, as you remember - I got Neil and Matt confused for the duration of this scene until the the guy on the television started making sex jokes. I was like, "Oh, this is Neil, right?" [C laughs] And I was like, "Oh, no no no, it's her ex." Anyway, Matt, Angela's ex, is sitting by his couch in his house and he's watching like, a home video type of thing on the television. And it's him and Angela, and they're running around and flirting and having fun. As he gets up to get a beer, we see his plants wilt, like, right in front of the television. As he sits back down, he doesn't notice it, but he continues playing the television, and then we see Angela's reflection right by the TV. He notices this, and he gets surprised. The shock of his fucking life. And he turns around, and we don't see it, but he gets slashed. His throat gets slashed. And the blood splatter splashes across the television.

C: And TV's paused on like, Angela's face really big, so it's a fun visual.

-

C: We cut to Dean breaking into Angela's apartment, and he's looking around, and he's looking at a picture of her. And then there's a figure in the reflection of the picture, and you go, "Slash his throat, Angela!" [both laugh] but it's not her. It's Lindsey, her roommate. She's, like, quite normally, freaked out by this, and goes "Who the hell are you?" and, like, runs and locks herself up in her room. Dean goes, "No, no, no, no, I'm Angela's cousin! Her dad sent me over to pick up her stuff! My name's Alan Stanwick!"

G: And he makes a face when he says "Stanwick," like, he's like, “I sure hope this works!” And it fucking does. Go Dean.

C: Yeah. [laughs] So Lindsey cautiously opens up the door and goes, "Well, he didn't say  you were coming," and Dean's like, "I mean, if I wasn't allowed here, how else would I have the key to your place?" And he just holds up, like, a bunch of keys, and I- probably not a single one of those is the key to her place. [laughs]

G: We know that's not her keys because he cards the door.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: He doesn't have the keys, yeah. Confidence is the key. [laughing] Dean literally is that guy- my headcanons are Dean is the guy who's obsessed with reason and logic, and he's also the kind of guy who like, despite being the prettiest man alive, would tell other guys that "You just be confident! [both laugh] You can do anything you want, pick up any girl you like, if you're just confident enough." He's definitely that guy.

C: So Dean is now talking to Lindsey, and basically, she's crying a lot, and Dean tries to ask about Angela to suss out if she actually sort of sucked. Lindsey says, "She was great, just great. I mean, she was so... so..." and she's still crying, and Dean goes, "Great?" And Lindsey says "Yeah," and keeps crying. The whole time, Dean looks very uncomfortable with the situation, or also like he's annoyed by her.

G: Yeah.

C: And like, her roommate died! [laughs] Like, come on!

G: It felt like- and I know this is not what they're doing, what they're- we figure out what they're trying to do later, that this girl is a fake and all that, but the way it is portrayed, like, at this very moment, it felt very much like, "Oh, look at this airhead," you know? [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: "Like, she can't even think of a way to compliment her dead friend." And I was just like [laughing], "Leave stupid people alone!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah, we're supposed to see later that her crying this much in the scene is a sign that she slept with Matt, but like, that's just how you react when someone you know dies!

Dean is like, "Okay, you two must have been really close, huh?" and Lindsey says, "We were, but it's not just her, it's Matt, Angela's boyfriend." And she reveals that people believe that what happened is that he killed himself last night, cut his own throat because he was taking Angela’s death pretty hard. She says that he kept seeing her everywhere, and Dean says, "Well, I'm sure that's normal, with everything he was going through." [laughs] And Lindsey says, "Like, no, he, like, actually saw her." And Dean asks if they were a happy couple, if there was any reason that she would be mad at him, and Lindsey says, "No, of course not. Why do you ask?" Dean's like, "Eh, just asking. Also, where did he live by the way?" And I guess she fucking tells him!

G: I know.

-

G: So we're back in the motel room. [C starts laughing] Sam and Dean's motel room

C: [laughing] Yep.

G: And it's just Sam. [C keeps cracking up] And he's sitting on the bed. And he turns on- he's watching television, and the television is playing porn. This is our first porn, like, thing, right?

C: Yeah, and it's racial fetishization too!

G: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

C: Whoo! Yay Supernatural!

I really want to know what is going through Sam's head right now. Because he is not undressed. He's sitting on the very edge of the bed, his full, like, long jeans are on, and he's just like, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, like he's watching a college lecture or nature documentary. [G laughs]

G: This is- this is- he just discovered porn for the first time. [C laughs]

C: Sam Winchester doesn't know what sex is. That's my headcanon.

G: Literally. Like, he's literally just discovering porn for the first time, and he gets interrupted, so he doesn't even see any action! Poor Sam.

C: Yeah, poor man. Sam's being really Cascoded.

G: So Dean enters, and Sam immediately turns off the television, and Sam's like, "Hey." [C laughs] And Dean's walking incredibly slowly towards Sam, and then he goes, "Awkward..." [both laugh] What a child. Sam asks where Dean was, and Dean is speaking very passive aggressively. He's like, "Well, I was working my imaginary case. You know what I found? Nothing much, but I did see that Angela's boyfriend died with a slit on the throat, and he kept see Angela everywhere before he died. Must be nothing." Like, he's being very, very sarcastic.

C: Yeah, he goes, "You know, that's just me transferring my own feelings." [G laughs]

G: I know. [laughs] Go Dean. I- how do you feel about the fact that he was vindicated? Do you think it would have been better if he wasn't?

C: I think, like Sam says later, like, thank god Dean found a case here, because if he didn't, he would have just found something else to kill. That's what I think. I think he is itching for a hunt, he needs stuff out of his system, and apparently, beating up Gordon and leaving him to die of dehydration still wasn't enough.

G: Sam apologizes and says that maybe there is something going on here. Dean starts getting mad again. He keeps on raising his voice this episode.

C: Yeah.

G: He says, like, “Maybe? I know how to do my job, despite what you might think." And it Sam's- Sam is still very calm- says, "Should we check the guy's apartment?" Dean says, "I already did." Sam asks if it's in unholy ground, and Dean's like, "I'm still not sure, but I've been reading this, though." He holds up a pink diary. [laughs] Have you- are you a diary kind of person?

C: No. It just- you know, like, I already lived my whole day, and now I'm either gonna play Doodle Jump or go to sleep, I'm not gonna write about it. [G laughs]

G: Literally. I used to like, fantasize about, you know, like, "When I die, people are gonna find my journal entries and it's gonna be like, a whole thing, like I'm soo... I'm such a literary genius, like, you know, people are gonna recognize so much-

C: [laughing] Yeah, "the Tumblrinas will post excerpts of what I write, like, on the anniversary of all the days, just like Kafka."

G: Yeah. [laughs] But just like Kafka, I found quite quickly, that like, journaling is not always the best thing for your mental health. [both laugh] I solidly believe Kafka would have had a better life if he wasn't journaling, like, 24/7. I am an armchair psychologist, if you may ask. [laughs]

C: Speaking of armchair psychology, when Dean says, "I'm sure that's just me transferring my own feelings," like, transference is an actual psychological term, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Did Dean take a psych class too? Or did like, Sam try to give him trickle down therapy at some point and Dean remembered some of the terms? [G laughs]

G: My guess is that Bobby [laughs]-

C: Aww, yeah!

G: - tried to therapize Dean once. And he was- you know that- god, this is from fanfiction, right? The one that's like, "I met Judith Butler once," and Dean was like, "Who?"

C: [laughing] Yes!! No, that's from "Four Letter Word"! [G laughs] No!

G: That's the fic? I'm so sorry. I- yeah, I've seen that post around. And like, Judith Butler is not a psychologist, but like, who is a famous psychologist that Bobby could do that with? Like, his contemporary. [laughing] Jordan Peterson.

C: Uh, I was gonna say... David Kahneman, maybe?

G: I have no idea who that is.

C: Yeah, he wrote a book about cognitive biases, so I feel like Bobby would try to pull that out with Dean.

G: Oh. [laughing] Bobby talked to me [laughing], and then he learned the idea of transferring emotions. From me.

C: [laughing] Yeah. "You know, I met Grey BABPod once."

G: [laughing] Yeah. And Dean's like, "Who?" [both laugh]

Sam asks, like, "Why did you steal her diary?" And Dean says, "Oh, she was like, a little bit too nice," so he needed to find out more about her. Dean says, "We should talk to more of her friends." Sam asks, "Do you have any names?" and Dean says, "Are you kidding me? [with a lisp I have her bestest friend in the whole wide world." He doesn't say it like that. [both laugh] But I wish he did.

C: Yeah.

G: He should have put on the g-

C: No!

G: He should have put on the [overlapping] Jensen Ackles homophobic Cas voice. [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

C: Oh, god.

G: "I'm mostly confused!" That one? It's so bad!

C: It was so bad. Like, just the most lispy gay lisp ever.

-

C: So we cut Neil's house, where it turns out that [laughs] Sam and Dean are posing as fucking grief counselors in their little- in their little outfits, looking younger than Neil, basically.

G: They're wearing their iconic clothes this episode.

C: Yeah.

G: The leather jacket and Carhartt hoodie.

C: Like, at least the last time they tried to be grief counselor-esque they just like, dressed up as priests or something.

Dean's like, "Yeah, we're grief counselors employed by the college. You talk, we listen, maybe throw in a little therapeutic collage. Whatever jumpstarts the healing." Oh, by the way, Neil is meeting them outside of his house, and I guess that matters. So Neil says that “I'm okay, thanks.” And Sam asks about Matt Harrison. He says, "We just wanted to make sure you were okay. Grief can make people do crazy things." And okay, now, okay, this second I'm realizing that he means "I don't want you to slit your throat as well," but I thought he was fully accusing Neil of murder. [G laughs]

Neil says, "If Matt killed himself, it wasn't because of grief. It was guilt. Angie's death was Matt’s fault, and he knew it.” And he says that “She really loved that guy.” In fact, her last words in the teaser are "I love you" before she crashes, right? Like, geez, what a fucking tragedy. And he says that the night of the accident, she walked in on him cheating on her with another girl, and she was really upset, and that's why she crashed the car. And he says, "Okay, I have to go get ready for work now, so, bye. I'll be fine." And Dean looks at Sam like, "Once more, I am vindicated, and that therapy you attempted to give me from one class in psychology and Jess probably going to therapy and sometimes telling you about it [G laughs] was wrong and fake and bad." So, as they walk out, Dean's like, "So that's definitely a vegetable spirit theory. Hell hath no fury..." and he trails off. But yeah, quoting Shakespeare, but to be sort of sexist. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"-

G: Yeah, yeah.

C: - is the line.  So, I don't know. I just think the line itself is just kind of-

G: Eh.

C: It is built off of the idea that woman's emotions are like, often overreactionary.

G: Uh-huh.

C: Yeah, but I think it's common enough that I'm not gonna give him a point for it. This, okay, [laughs] makes a new tab for Shakespeare misogyny points but only as seen on Supernatural. [G laughs]

Dean says, "Okay, well, there's only one way to be sure. Let's burn the bones!" And Sam goes, "Burn the bones? Are you high?" [both laugh] What a king.

G: Dean is a weed smoker, confirmed.

C: Yeah. Dean is your weed smorking boyfriend and my weed smorking enemy.

Do you think Sam- like, okay, I feel like most people try weed in college. Do you think Sam tried weed in college?

G: Mm, I'll be honest with you, like, I am like, a person who is scared of drugs [laughs], so. Yeah. I think it's like, a matter of where I am. Like, the Philippines is... yeah.

C: Yeah, that's a very different environment.

G: Politically it's- yeah, it's, yeah.

C: I think that Sam smorked some weed in college. I think he and Brady and Jess probably all smorked weed together a few times, like, after exams season to celebrate. And then they all made out with each other.

G: Good for him.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Good for him.

G: Sam is the type of guy to like, not drink, but he will smoke.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: Maybe like- I'm just realizing how that comes off, like the way I said it. There's nothing wrong with that; I'm just saying he is that kind of guy.

C: [laughs] Uh-huh.

He was trying to distance himself from the hunting life a lot, and he said that he didn't really go to that many like, parties with drinking, like, at the frat party, so I feel like he'd be like, "the underage drinking feels- it is part of college life but it's also part of hunting life- so I'd rather just stay away from it."

G: Oh yeah! Your drinking age is 21, so like, he wouldn't be allowed to drink until, like, later on. Yeah.

C: Yeah, yeah. But he was like, "Smorking weed? That sounds like a California Stanford normal guy thing to do. [G laughs] Pass the joint, bro!" [laughing] And then he would like, choke and start crying.

Sam goes, like, "Angela died last week/ There's not gonna be bones. there's gonna be a ripe, rotting body in the coffin." And Dean's like, "Well, okay, cool. When are you afraid to get dirty? Let's go."

-

G: So we go to the graveyard, and they're digging, right. I was just in a funeral quite recently, and I was trying to look at how it works, like, the whole coffin thing, burial thing, because I was trying to figure out if, like- [laughing] if Sam and Dean were to come here and dig up my uncle right now, would they succeed? And the answer is no, because they cement the thing.

C: Oh, smart.

G: Yeah. So no Sam and Dean doing grave robberies over here in the Philippines.

Sam and Dean have dug enough to like, be over the coffin at this point.

C: You skipped a Dean misogyny moment!

G: Wait, wait! I didn't get to say it.

C: Okay, you're getting there, sorry, okay. [laughs] I need my points.

G: And as they stand over it, Dean turns to Sam and says, "Ladies first."

C: And I'm giving him a point.

G: Okay, you can have your point. [laughs]

C: Thank you.

G: Like I said before, I really did think-

C: [laughing] It was a transphobia moment?

G: [laughing] Yes. But alas, it is more of a misogyny moment in this context.

Sam proceeds to open the coffin, and he's making a face, he's preparing his body, his nose, his everything. But when he opens it, it's fucking empty, bro. And Sam and Dean are like, "Oh my god, it's empty."

-

G: We cut to Neil's house, and he is walking towards his basement. And as we descend, we see a pale girl sitting on a bed in the basement, wearing- what's she wearing?

C: A white dress?

G: - a white nightgown? Yeah, a white nightgown.

C: Do we think she was buried in this?

G: What a weird thing to be buried in.

C: Yeah, exactly.

G: Wait, what do Americans bury themselves in?

C: I think formal clothes.

G: Floral clothes?

C: No, like formal clothes. Like a suit or something.

G: Yeah, yeah. I guess we do formal clothes as well, but like, Filipino formal clothes, like, a filipiniana. So I was like, wondering, what is the American national costume? [laughs] So like, what do you guys get buried in?

C: Just like, a suit or a nice dress, I think.

G: [laughing] That's your national costume?

C: [laughing] Yes, exactly.

Either she was buried in this, or Neil like, resurrected this woman and then bought her like, a nightgown from Mary's era to wear.

G: Because she definitely did not die in it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well, we know how much Supernatural loves their pale women in white nightgowns.

G: Exactly.

C: Raelle Tucker herself came down and handed this to Neil, and was like, "Just put Angela in this."

G: This entire scene, like, the entire premise of this episode reminded me of a Thailand movie that I watched when I was really young, and it turned me off, like, horror, for the rest of my life [C laughs] because it made me so scared. I was genuinely terrified. It's called 3 A.M., and it's three stories, and one of the stories is about this woman who is like, a bride, and she dies like, right before she got married, and then the guy taking care of her body and like, lusts over her, and then she comes to life. It's like, a whole thing. And genuinely, like, watching this, I was thinking back to being like, a young child watching that on the television, Filipino dubbed, [laughing] and I was like, "This is genuinely terrifying! Like, I feel so scared!"

Anyway, Angela comes up to Neil and says, "I missed you," and she kisses him. And at first, he seems hesitant. Like, he seems a little bit scared. But then she goes on kissing him, and eventually, he kisses her back.

C: Do we think this was their first kiss as her in her zombie form?

G: I don't know. I mean, it can be assumed because of the way he reacts, right?

C: I guess I assumed that they were already sort of an item in like, whatever way a zombie can be an item with someone, but that- [laughing] honestly, I was just like, "Probably her mouth tastes like dead person and that's the issue." But yeah. Do we- how much of the original Angela's consciousness do we think is in this Angela?

G: That's fascinating, because it looks like this is her uninhibited, kind of. But the Angela that we know seems to be like, a really nice person.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, it's kind of weird that like, when you say "uninhibited," it means someone just turns into a bad person. [laughs] It's- I don't know how to interpret, like, is this her, is this like, an entirely different being who's malicious and all that and just a completely different being. I don't think we are given a clear answer. I do know that in future narco- [laughs] not "narco"- in future necromancy episodes in Supernatural,depending on the skill of the necromancer, the being comes back up a little bit different. And by like, if the higher their skill is, the more accurate the being that they revive is, and when their skill is quite low, that being is just like, a beast, you know? Almost. Which is just so fascinating to me, because- the one I'm talking about is one of my favorite, favorite one-off characters in Supernatural, Harper. Harper Sayles?

C: Oh, yeah.

G: And I think she come- like, I don't know if I'm not mistaking her for the twins that trick Dean into giving them the Book of the Damned, but I think she comes from a long line of necromancers, and so it's fascinating to me that this Neil guy just shows up once, and he fucking perfects it, and then someone like Harper has a difficult time reanimating a corpse into someone that is human-looking and feeling. So yeah. The lore kind of wavers.

C: Right.

G: God, I love Harper. Do you know her?

C: Um, she's- I know that she's in "Optimism" and that Jack thinks that she's in love with him.

G: Yeah. And like, eventually she does fall in love with him in her own way.

C: Aww.

G: She writes him a letter- she writes him a letter saying that like, "I'll be back for you!" Like, "I think we should be together!" and I was like, "Oh my god, is she gonna be back? Is she gonna be back?" and then she never was, and I was terribly disappointed.

C: Aww. Sorry.

G: I love it when women are evil and also in love with Jack. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. I look forward to her.

But yeah, I guess I'm just curious about... this Angela who comes back. Is she in- does she love Neil because original Angela loved Neil? Does she love Neil because when Neil brought her back, he wanted her to? Or is it just like, the love that a creation has for their creator?

G: Wowww, going all- I have never read Frankenstein. I was gonna say "We're going all Frankenstein on this one," but like, I think Frankenstein the monster actually hated Frankenstein, [laughs] so I'm not too sure.

C: Yeah, no, Adam did not like Dr. Frankenstein because he wouldn't give him a companion.

G: He named the guy Adam? [laughs]

C: Yeah! Like the first man.

G: [laughing] Yeah. What a fucking loser! [C laughing]

C: He was like, a grad medical student. Like, he has to be a fucking loser.

-

C: So Sam and Dean are staring at the coffin, going "What the fuckity?" and then Sam notices that carved into the inside of the coffin is some triangular symbols that very much resemble those on the cover of the ancient Greek book in Dr. Mason's office. So, Dean like, runs over there and starts banging on the door, and Sam's telling him, like, "Hey, calm down, take it easy." Dean is not doing that. I think I wrote down here, "Sam should not let Dean out of the house." [both laugh]

Dr. Mason finally opens the door. And I think it's very good that they gave us the Neil scene right before this scene, so that we feel the full extent of how awful Dean is.

G: Yeah, so we can be truly terrified of this guy.

C: Dr. Mason is like, "Oh, hi, you're Angie's friends, right?" Sam's like, "Yeah, hi, Dr. Mason." Dean's like, "We need to talk!" [both laugh] So they go in, and Dean, like, stages, this whole interrogation where he's like, "You teach ancient Greek. Tell me-" shows him, like, the symbols- "what are these?" And Dr. Mason, just being a normal guy, is like, "I'm confused, what does this have to do with Angela?" And Dean keeps pushing and he says that it's part of an ancient Greek divination ritual. Dean says, "Specifically used for necromancy, right?" And then he says that apparently, ancient Greeks used rituals like this for communicating with the dead or even bringing corpses back to life. And Dr. Mason's like, "Yeah, according to the legends. Now what's all this about?" And Sam is already like, trying to like, get them out of this situation, but Dean's, like, "I think you know." And Sam's like, "Bro." And Dean says, "Look, I get it, okay? There are people that I would give anything to see again, but what gives you the right?"

G: Ahh!

C: Right. And- okay, I think later, it's a good reveal - because I didn't get this at all - it's a good reveal that like, he's like, doing all this out of guilt, because he knows that John died to bring him back, but right now, all I'm thinking is like [laughing], "Dean, have you watched 'All Hell Breaks Loose' parts 1 and 2 of Supernatural season 2?"

G: Have you watched Supernatural, Dean Winchester? [C laughs] Have you literally never watched Supernatural, Dean?

C: Dr. Mason's like,"What are you talking about?" and Dean's like, yelling at this point, "What's dead should stay dead! What you brought back isn't even your daughter anymore. These things are vicious, they're violent, they're so nasty they rot the ground around them. I mean, come on. [G makes pained sound] Haven't you seen Pet Sematary?" [laughing] What a time to make a reference.

G: Well, first of all, let's explore "They are vicious, they are violent. They are so nasty they rot the ground around them" from the perspective of, as we reveal later- and also, when that was happening, I was like, "God, relistening to our old episodes is gonna be a misery, because we literally did not even consider that Dean may be feeling guilty [laughs] at all."

C: Um, 'cause who give a fuck about him? [both laugh]

G: Noo! I do, and I failed Dean and all the Deangirls in the world.

But, yeah, examining that line from a perspective of "Dean feels guilty because he should have died but didn't," and he is turning vicious and violent. And because of this line, there is a feeling of, he knows, you know? He's aware of the situation. And this, I feel like, this whole thing starts a thing about Dean that a lot of people have talked about, but the fact that he is self-aware.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, you know, we like to think of Dean as repressed and all, and he is, I feel, to some degree, but he is also very self-aware in his own way. It's just that he chooses not to look, [laughs] you know. And, like, he does know himself, and he does get a lot of his intentions, he just chooses to like, be a bull about it and just fucking power through.

C: Right.

Do you think that he thinks that he was brought back wrong?

G: Ah, interesting. [laughs] Well, haven't you seen Pet Sematary? [both laugh]

C: No.

G: I literally haven't as well, so we will never know. [laughs]

C: Yeah. Good to know. 

So Dr. Mason says, "You're insane." Dean is still insisting. He's like, "Where is she?" And he says, "Get out of my house." He starts dialing for the police, and Dean knocks his phone out of his hand and is yelling, "I know you're hiding her somewhere! Where is she?" And finally, Dean gra- sorry, finally Sam grabs Dean's arm and is like, "Look, bro, that's enough. All these plants by the window are alive, there is nothing going on here. Like, let's leave." And Dean stomps out while Sam is like, "Sir, we're sorry. We won't bother you again." [laughs] And they head out.

-

G: So in the sidewalk outside of Angela’s dad's house, Dean and Sam are walking. And Sam is finally confronting Dean, like, "What the hell is wrong with you? That man is innocent. He didn't deserve to be fucking shouted at and threatened." And Dean, still, you know, one-track mind, "He must have kept her somewhere else if the plants are not wilted there. She must be somewhere else." Sam stops Dean. Dean insists that he knows what he's doing, but Sam says, "No, you don't. At all. I don't scare easy, but man, you're scaring the crap out of me." And Dean's like, "Don't be so fucking overdramatic." [laughs]

Sam says the line that you referenced earlier, which is that "You're lucky this turned out to be a real case, because if it wasn't, you would have just found something else to kill. You're on edge, you're erratic, except for when you're hunting, because then, you're downright scary. You're tail-spinning, man. And you refuse to talk about, and you won't let me help you."

C: My question is, where was this energy in "Bloodlust"? Like, in "Bloodlust," Dean is like, "I'm leaving Gordon to die of dehydration and I'm gonna punch him in the face," and Sam's just standing by the door smirking, like, "So true!" Like Dean is definitely scary this episode, but he was a lot worse last episode. Is it just the "this man is innocent" part?

G: Yeah, maybe because he doesn't see Gordon as necessarily innocent, that's why. But like, what happened with Gordon still felt so excessive, even with the context of "he's not like, entirely a good guy in the context of the episode."

And it's fascinating too, because the last episode like, Dean was like, "Oh, no, what if I'm the bad guy?" And Sam is like, "It doesn't matter, it's fine." [both laugh] And here he's like, "No, you're the fucking bad guy."

C: Yeah. Also the fact that last episode was like, "What if we're killing things that like, don't deserve to die?" and then there's like, no moral dilemmas around Angela's death this episode.

G: No, there was! There was!

C: Well, okay, Sam got one second, and then he was like, "Nah." [G laughs]

G: Yeah, that's true.

Dean says, "I can take care of myself," and Sam insists that "No, you cannot. You're the only one who think you should take care of yourself only. You don't have to handle this on your own. No one can." Dean- they're still walking, and Dean's angry, and he's like, "If you bring up Dad's death one more time-" and Sam says, "It's killing you. We've already lost Dad. we've lost Mom, I've lost Jessica. Now, I'm going to lose you too?" Which I was like, that's a Ca- that's something Dean says to Cas. [laughs]

C: Oh, right.

G: That is not-

C: In... 7.01?

G: Uh, I'm not sure. I think it was 6-something. Anyway, it's a Cas line! [laughs] Sorry, Sam.

Dean deflects. He says, "We should go before the cops arrive.” And then he says, "I hear you, okay? I'm being an ass, and I'm sorry. But right now, we got a fucking zombie running around and we need to figure out how to kill it." And Sam is like, "Our lives are weird," He does, like, the thing that he did in “Route 666” where he was like, “I wish we heard sentences that started with anything other than this zombie run- who's-” you know.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

-

C: We're back at Neil's place, and Angela’s sitting on his couch. And she asks, “Is something bothering you?” And he says, "It's about Matt.” And she's like, “Haven't we wasted enough time on him already? You always said that he didn't deserve me. You were right.” And Neil’s like, “So you didn't like, go see Matt or like, anything else, did you?” and Angela's like, “No, I've been here the whole time. Do you really think I could do something like that?” And Neil’s like, “I don't know. You just seem…” and Angela says, "Different? You're right, I am. I've realized you're the only one who ever really loved me. You proved that. You brought me back. I'm with you now. Isn't that what you always wanted?”

G: The scene- because she claims onto his lap, right?

C: Yeah, she climbs onto his lap during this scene.

G: It's very reminiscent of pilot.

C: Yeah, the woman in white?

G: Yeah, climbing onto Sam's lap, so I was like, "Mm. Not a good visual." I'm just- I'm confused as to why they made her look like this, you know.

C: Yeah. Why is she, like, a sexy zombie?

G: No. I mean, she's a sexy zombie, it's fine. Zombies can be whatever they want to be. [laughs] But like, I'm mostly referring to the fact that she looks so similar to a monster that we already have had. So like, why didn't change up her aesthetic because she's def- she's basically unrecognizable from the lady in white if you put them side by side.

C: Right.

-

G: Okay, so in the motel room, Sam and Dean are trying to figure out how to kill the zombie. I guess at this point- they call it zombie, right? That's what they call it?

C: Yeah.

G: So they're like, "with a headshot, maybe?" and Sam’s like, “No, [laughs] you've been watching too many Romero flicks.” And Sam reveals that the reason why he can't find a way to kill zombies is because there's too many fucking ways to kill a zombie, so he can't pinpoint the one that actually works. Sam says, "Maybe silver might work," because in some stories they do.

C: Doesn't he also say, “Feeding their hearts to wild dogs, that's my personal favorite.” [laughs]

G: Yeah. [laughs]

C: Which is very cute.

G: He's cute this episode.

C: He's very cute in this scene because he's wearing his like, iconic- it's sort of a loose button-up shirt with like, a pattern on it, and I feel like I've seen-

G: The white one? Is it the white one?

C: Yeah, the white one with patterns on it, yeah.

G: It's beautiful! I want that- I want that for myself.

C: Yeah, it's very cute. It's a good shirt for like, the beach.

G: They debate on where to find Angela, and Dean settles on "It's probably Neil because he is the professor's TA, he has access to all the same books where they found the necromancy spell."

C: Well, first he says it's because he read the diary and it says that “Neil is a real shoulder to cry on, he so understands what I'm going through with Matt.” And he was like, "Yeah, Neil definitely has a thing for her." [G laughs]

G: Yeah. What do you think of that trope of like, the guy best friend, you know, that one?

C: I think that it was born out of guy writers [laughing] who had been in that position before-

G: Had the same experience. Yeah. [laughs]

C: And felt, like, really, really like, bitter about it.

G: It's fascinating to me because all my friends, like, all of us are not straight.

C: Uh-huh.

G: So, like, the dynamic is just different, I feel, versus if I was like, if I was like a straight person and I was best friends with this person of the opposite gender. Like, it would be a different dynamic, right?

C: Yeah.

G: I don't know. I mean, I have bisexual friends of the opposite gender, so like, I don't know. I- but I just it's just a weird trope, I feel, because it stems from the, you know, the like, "guys and girls cannot be friends" type of shit.

C: Yeah, it's just weird.

G: Yeah.

C: [groans] Oh, god, I've been poisoned by by omegaverse, as soon as you thought that, I was thinking about [laughing] "Oh, yes, because their heats and their ruts might line up!" [screaming]

G: [laughing] I'm gonna put that in. 

C: Noo! Hatred and killing and violence!

G: I'm not gonna get rid of it! You will be exposed as an omegaverse reader!

C: I am okay with that, I suppose. But- [laughing] yeah, you know what? That's fine. Jesus Christ. [G laughing] Death and killing and violence.

I think that if I read that on a diary I would not immediately be like, "wow, Neil is definitely in unrequited love with Angela." Like, I'd just be like, "Cool. Good friend."

G: I think that's like, a produce of its time as well. I think, you know?

C: Yeah.

G: This was like, what? 2006? So the idea might be more prominent than it is now.

C: Yeah. Also, Dean’s capable of being friends with women, so [both laugh] I think that's part of it.

-

C: Okay, so they break into Neil's house at night, and Dean says, "Hello? Neil? It's your grief counselors. Uh, we've come to hug." [both laugh] Oh boy, yeah.

And Dean pulls out a gun with silver bullets in it, and they walk around. They see that there's dead plants in the room, and they start investigating the basement. They look down inside, but it's completely empty, but there is a bed there, and it just- it looks grimy, so Dean says, "It sure looks like a zombie pen to me." Sam asks if Dean thinks Angela's going after somebody, and turns out that there is a loose grate in the basement that she has been using to escape. Is this how apartments are built?

G: I have no fucking idea. I've never been in a house with a basement.

C: I just don't see why there would be a grate from the basement to the direct outside, you know?

G: Maybe it's like, in a slanted place, you know?

C: Right yeah, but also, I guess, like, what's the point? Like, do you want air from outside to go into the basement?

G: Isn't that like, a flood risk?

C: Yeah, that seems very much like a flood risk.

Dean jokes, "No, I think she went out to rent Beaches,"and Sam's like, "Look, smartass, she might kill someone." Which I think is like, a bit of an overreaction to Dean's usual snark, right? But also, like, I think that Sam is right to just get annoyed at Dean really easily for things given Dean's behavior recently. [both laugh]

So Dean says, "Okay, well she killed Matt because he was cheating," and he says, "Well,, it takes two to, you know, have hardcore sex." [both laugh]

G: I thought that was funny.

C: [laughs] Yeah. And he says, "It seems like, Angela's roommate was broken up over Matt's death. Like, really broken up." She seemed normal, but okay.

G: So we go to Angela's house. And Lindsey is looking at pictures of Matt and Angela, and she hears a noise, and she goes up to the door, and when she opens it, there's no one outside, but when she turns around, it's Angela. And she says [singsong], "Hi, Lindsey. I'm home!" [laughs] She didn't say it like that. I don't know why I keep putting on that voice. But, so starts a fight scene.

Lindsey runs to the kitchen, Angela picks up a knife- no, not not a knife, [in unison] scissors. Right? Yeah.

C: I love scissors as a murder weapon.

G: It literally would not work. Like, those scissors are so fucking dull. Like, the tip of them are not even pointed, so it's never gonna work. Apparently, I'm wrong. Lindsey was like, "I'm sorry!" And Angela was like, "Not enough!" and as they're trying to stab each other, Angela accidentally falls and stabs herself with the scissors in the chest.

C: Well, Lindsey kicks her, which causes her to fall on the scissors.

G: And at first, we think she's dead, again, but then she opens her eyes, and pulls out the knife- well, pulls out the sisters from her body. Cascore.

C: Mm-hm. [laughs]

G: And she was about to stab Lindsey when we hear a couple of shots coming from the window nearby. It's Sam and Dean! And they're shooting at Angela with silver bullets, and she like, winces a bit, but it's not enough. She runs off to the window into the backwoods, I guess, of this house. And Sam assists Lindsey, and Dean runs after her, but then comes back immediately and is like, "Yeah, the dead chick can run." [both laugh] And Dean says, "Let's go back and have a chat with Neil."

-

C: So we're in the Impala, and Sam is studying John's journal to look for alternate ways of killing Angela, and apparently, besides silver, you can nail the undead back into their grave beds. So Dean's like, "Ugh, how are we gonna get Angela back to the cemetery?" So they show up to Neil's office, and Dean comes in, and he says, "You know, I've heard of people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid, but you? You take the cake." And yeah, he's right. Neil asks, "Who are you guys?" And Dean says, "You might want to ask Angela that question." Sam reveals that they know what he did. Dean says, "Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and we're crazy? When someone's gone, they should stay gone. You don't mess with that kind of stuff." Sam mentions the murders, and Neil is continuing to play dumb until Dean like, yanks him up by the collar like a misbehaving cat [both laugh] and goes, "No more crap. Matt's blood is on your hands. Now, me and Sam can make this right, but you have to tell us where she is." Neil says that she's at his house, but then Dean sees that there are some dead potted plants by the window, so she is definitely in the office. Dean notices that there's a closed closet nearby and decides to say, very loudly, so that any zombies hiding in the closet might hear, "It doesn't really matter where she is. We're going to perform another ritual over her grave to reverse the one that you did, and it'll just work, and she'll be dead again in a couple hours." And then he tells Neil that he should leave with them right now, get out as soon as you can, no sudden movements, don't make her mad. And he and Sam leave.

-

G: So as soon as Sam and Dean leave, Neil goes over to the closet, and Angela's there. Gay rights? [both laughing]

Neil's like, "Oh, I told you to stay at home," and she said, "I just wanted to see you." And she shows him the bullet wounds that Sam and Dean inflicted on her, and Angela says, come with me to the cemetery, they tried to kill me, we have to stop them. And Neil, realizing what's, you know, happening, asks, "You mean, you want to kill them." He concludes that it's true, that she killed Matt and Lindsey. Angela says, "They hurt me. If you love me, you'll make sure nobody hurts me again." And she insists that they go to the cemetery and then proceed to live new lives together. Neil says, "Okay. God help me, but okay." He says he will go to the car and asks Angela to wait for him. And so he proceeds to go to his car. He is obviously very scared, and he's like, fumbling with his car keys, and he drops the keys. So when he - Supernatural does the usual thing where like, somebody drops something and when they go back up, someone is in front of them. And it's Angela. And she was like, "Wait, why are you so tense? You were gonna leave me, weren't you?" And Neil's like, "No, no, no, no, of course not," and Angela was like, "How could you? I loved you!" [laughs] I'm sorry for the voices. [both laugh] What am I doing? [laughing] I'm trying to keep this entertaining, you guys. You guys should be grateful. [C laughs] And then, Angela grabs his head and fucking snaps it.

C: Yep.

G: Quite brutal, but not bloody, so we can see it on screen.

C: I wonder what - after Sam and Dean leave, like, how this town investigates this murder. Like, they can't be like "Neil was so sad about Angela's death that he snapped his own neck."

G: I think Sam and Dean would be-

C: The prime suspects?

G: Yeah, the prime suspects of this situation because they went in and attacked the father and all that.

C: Yeah. Put it on their file, I guess.

We are back at the graveyard, and Sam and Dean are lighting candles, setting up a fake ritual. And they hear a noise somewhere, so Sam starts heading towards it with his gun. There's like, a while where he doesn't see where Angela is but we see her closing in on him from behind, and then he turns around at the last minute and points the gun at her. She says, "Wait! It's not what you think. I didn't ask to be brought back. But it's still me. I'm still a person. Please!" And Sam takes a second and he goes, "Eh," [laughs] and then he shoots her in the forehead.

G: That's what I was talking about. That like, there was a moment of hesitation where we're continuing the "are monsters people?" thing, but that's not the point of the episode, so they don't linger on it.

C: Yeah, and I guess Sam's reasoning was like, "well we literally saw her try to murder her roommate, so she's probably not that great."

Though, I mean, if we're going off of the idea that Sam thinks that as long as you can reason with something, then you should not try to kill them, then I feel like- I don't- do you think Angela could be reasoned with?

G: Interesting question. Which is how you know I don't know how to answer it. [both laugh] Because I say that. Um... do you?

C: I think that her cognition is quite good in that, like, she's quite good at manipulating people, but, like, that may just be a result of being brought back, she only has the goal of revenge, and she'll just have whatever skills are necessary to get there, so I guess in that case, it would be hard to see how she could be reasoned with. But also, like, they could still try.

G: I mean, like, let her do some DBT, you know?

C: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

G: Let her do some DBT; I think she would be fine. [laughs]

C: Yeah, give her some worksheets.

I- yeah, I think it would be hard, but I think that eventually it would be possible to get through to her because she's like, capable of feeling emotions and feeling betrayed and feeling hurt, so like, I'm sure that  there's ways to leverage that so that she understands not to do murders.

So he shoots her, and she starts chasing him. She eventually tackles him and tries to snap his neck too. But Dean shoots at her until he sorta like, corrals her back into her open grave where she lands in her coffin. And then Dean gets this- [laughing] rusty nail. [G laughs] He gets a big metal stake and stabs her straight through the stomach into the grave.

What I thought- when I heard about nailing the dead back into their grave beds, I thought they were gonna, like, full on crucify her, and I was watching this on Easter [G laughs], so I was like, "I look forward to watching the crucifixion!" But no, it was one rusty nail in the middle of her stomach.

Dean drives it in really hard. She says, "Don't," but eventually, she dies again. And Dean pulls back and says once more, "What's dead should stay dead."

My question is, how tall is that coffin because I don't see how they're gonna close it with that tall, tall sword in her.

G: Maybe they're gonna saw off the rusty nail. [laughs] The rusty bowl.

C: Yeah, alright. [laughs] Or they're just gonna put dirt like, over her directly, which would be very rude.

-

G: So we are in the epilogue. It's morning now, and Sam and Dean are just about finished reburying Angela. Sam says, like, "Rest in peace," and Dean says, "I hope for good this time, okay?" This entire scene- do you know why this scene is here?

C: No, not really.

G: Well, because Jared breaks his hand.

C: Ohh.

G: Like, for realsies. I think so. Wait, let me- can you look it up while I narrate the scene? If he breaks his hand in this episode or like, in "Simon Said," which is the next episode? But I'm pretty sure, like, Jared wears a cast like, in the following episodes, so I feel like-

C: Oh, yeah, he did break his hand during a stump before the filming of the episode. So yeah, he went without a cast for the whole, like, first part of the episode despite having a broken arm, and then they like, wrote it in near the end.

G: So this- the whole point of this scene is to be like, "Sam is gonna be wearing a cast! So like, don't be shocked. He broke his arm here."

He just says, "Why did I have to be a bait? I think she broke my hand." Dean turns around and looks at Mary's grave. His look lingers, and Sam asks, "Do you want to stay for a while?" And Dean says, "No," and then they hop into the car.

In the highway, as they drive, suddenly Dean, who is driving, swerves to the side of the road and just stops it right there on the side of road. He hops out, and Sam asks, like, "What's going on?" And Dean says, "I'm sorry. The way I've been acting. And for Dad. He was your dad, too." And like, this scene, I was like, "Yeah! Why haven't we explored like, any of Sam's emotions?"

C: Yeah!

G: We explored it a little bit in " Everybody Loves a Clown," but even then, like, the last scene was Dean, so like, the last thing, feeling, is like, "Dean is not processing, that's so sad."

C: Right, and the end of "Bloodlust" is also, like, long, lingering shot on Dean. [laughs]

G: Yeah. So like, we're not getting a lot of Sam action so far in season 2, which, like, sucks.

And then Dean says, "It's my fault that he's gone." Sam questions him, and he says, "It doesn't take a fucking genius to figure it out. Dad died, and the Colt was gone immediately after my full recovery." So our complaint earlier this season that, like, "Didn't they connect the dots?"

C: Yeah.

G: They both did. They just don't wanna confront it.

C: Yeah.

G: Which makes me so sad!

Dean says like, "I don't know how the demon was involved, but it sure was. But Dad's dead. And it's because of me. That much I do know." Sam says, "We don't know that, not for sure." Dean starts tearing up, and he says, "You and Dad, you're the most important people in my life, and now..." dot dot dot. "I never should have come back, Sam. [laughs] It wasn't natural." [C laughing]

C: One might even say supernatural.

G: "Now look what's come of it. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling? Well, that's it." And then he turns to Sam and he says, "So tell me. How could you possibly- what could you possibly say to make all that right?" A single man tear-

C: Drips- yes, slips down his face.

G: He shows emotion-

C: [overlapping] - without a trace.

C: And Sam's also a bit teary, right? 

G: Yeah.

C: Like, he's nodding in sympathy with Dean and his face this is scrunched up.

G: We pan out and it's, you know, the two of them sitting by the car right beside the road. And then we cut to black.

C: Yeah.

When Dean said "What could you possibly say to make that all right?" I was like, "You said it earlier. Hug about it." [both laugh] Just hug! Like, I promise, you'll feel better!

Have we seen them hug, like, at all this season?

G: Never.

C: Or ever?

G: No, I don't think. I think in the Wiki - in the Superwiki - there's like, a hug for "Home" because Sam collapses and Dean kind of carries him, but like, that's debatable because it's not a reciprocated hug. Or even an unreciprocated hug. It's just someone carrying someone.

C: Yeah.

G: Do you think if they hugged, that would be an appropriate ending to this episode? I don't think so.

C: I think that the place that they are now it would- I mean, I'm assuming they're continuing the grief plotline, so I feel like a hug might be too early, but I feel like if your dad dies and your sibling is crying about it, typically one hugs about it.

G: I think, like, just any physical connection, like, a pat on the back, you know, would work. I was just thinking, if Sam and Dean were sisters, they would definitely be hugging.

C: Yeah, yeah. They'd probably like, hold hands a lot more too.

Dean seems to think that, like, Sam wants him to talk about it so that Sam will say something in response that'll fix it, and like, that's not the point.

G: Yeah. Like, Sam wants Dean to talk about it just so he can talk about it. Like, that's the whole point. It's not to give advice or to fix Dean. It's just so that Dean will feel lighter and less burdened by everything that he's carrying by himself.

C: Right. Because he says that he has to "keep his game face on" around Sam, and that's like, additional stress.

G: Yeah.

C: Sam's just saying like, "Don't put this additional stress on yourself."

-

G: Okay, Crystal, how did you find this episode?

C: I- after “Bloodlust” and “Everybody Loves a Clown,” I was like, "wow, best episode of Supernatural ever?" [laughs] But, no, I think it's just alright. I liked the ending scenes and I liked Sam and Dean’s argument, and I thought the case was fine, so yeah. [laughs] What else could you ask for from Supernatural?

G: Yeah, exactly! It's a Supernatural episode, and a pretty damn good one. So I think this is a very solid monster of the week, right? Like, the monster of the week is good... You know how we complained in "Everybody Loves a Clown" that we have this whole case right after John's death, but it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't relate to grief at all?

C: Yeah.

G: This one so strongly relates to what you're trying to say in the episode about the brothers. It feels so seamlessly made.

C: Yeah, when Dean finally reveals like, what he's been projecting about near the end, I was like, "Oh, that's actually pretty smart!"

G: Yeah, exactly, right?

C: Mm-hm.

G: So, Best Line/Worst Line.

C: My best line is Sam's argument with Dean where he says, "You're lucky this turned out to be a real case, because if it wasn't, you would have just found something else to kill." And also, when he says, like, “You can't take care of yourself, and you know what? You're the only one who thinks you should have to. You don't have to handle this on your own, Dean. No one can." Just- what a good lad. [laughs] What a good lad. And also, [laughing] I love every line that's about Dean being violent and angry and terrible.

G: I think I really like the line about like, towards the end, when Dean was revealing, I like that he said "He's your dad, too." It's a reminder to the audience that, yeah, he is grieving, and he has a very special set of circumstances of which to grieve about and for, but like, Sam is there too. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] "I to am in this episode."

G: [laughing] Literally Wilson-coded "I to am in this episode." I feel like people don't- have no fucking idea every time we say "I to am in this episode."

C: Okay, do we need to post- I don't want to post the gif on our socials 'cause I don't know where to find the original and I don't want to steal it, though.

G: Yeah, if you want to know what the fuck we're talking about every time we say "I to am in this episode," DM us or email us or whatever so we can send it to you.

C: I'll try to look for the post, and if we do find it, then I'll reblog it on our Tumblr.

G: Okay, good, good, good. But yeah, like, it's a reminder that, sometimes, you know, when we're grieving, we tend to forget that the other people around us are grieving too. I feel like, it's that, you know, it's the reminder that "Sam is my father's son as well, and is grieving our fathers death as well," is what kicked Dean to actually apologize and to actually talk about his feelings, you know. Like, the fact that he premises all that with "he's your dad top" is- kind of implies that. So I like that. I like to think that that's what instigated Dean's reaction there, the realization that Sam is also a human being with feelings and emotions. [C laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: What's your worst line?

C: Huh. I'm not sure if I have one because I'm still trying to figure out-

G: I do. I thought the Pet Sematary line was so weird.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Like, it was to cut the tension, right? But the tension did not need cutting at that moment.

C: Right.

G: So it just felt out of place.

C: Yeah, I agree.

I- since I can't find anything right now, I will just hitch my wagon to your wagon.

G: Amazing.

C: Oh, no, actually, no. My worst line is: "next on the Skin channel, Casa Erotica 4: a tale of two Latin beauties." [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. We love the introduction of racial fetishization to Supernatural.

G: Should we add a point to Sam?

C: Sure, yeah, sure.

G: Yeah.

C: Sam gets a racism point.

G: So for IMDB rating, what do you think is the IMDB rating of this one?

C: Okay, well, the last two episodes were both 8.2s. I would hope that this one gets higher, but I don't know how much higher. I feel like this is just a typical monster of the week episode. I would rate it like, at, like, the good monster of the week episodes in season 1 were like, "Bloody Mary" and "Skin," and those got like, 8.4s, right? So I guess I'll just put this as an 8.4.

G: I'll go a bit higher and say 8.5. Okay, let's look it up.

Hooly shit.

C: What?

G: Guess again.

C: How far- is it like, really low or really high?

G: No, just guess again.

C: Um, um... I just don't think it could be that much lower. I don't know, maybe it could be that much lower. 8.7??

G: It 7.9.

C: What, what did they dislike about it? It was fine!

G: I'm sad! I'm genuinely so sad. I am so sad.

C: It's fine. It was- it was just fine!

G: It is the first episode after 2.01 that I enjoyed. Maybe because it's back to like, monster of the week, and they didn't expect that?

C: Maybe?

G: Let's look at the user reviews.

C: Oh my god. Someone just said- someone just listed a bunch of things that they liked, and then they said, "On the downside, Sam really could have said something at the end to make Dean feel better." [laughs]

G: Oh, fuck off.

C: Fuck off!

G: Oh, this is like, a lot of it is a tribute to older movies.

C: Mm, right, yeah, that's true. A lot of the cases that seem very stolen from other horror movies get lower ratings because people find them corny, but I guess as two people who don't really watch horror, each time, we're like, "Wow, this is so cool and new and interesting!"

G: Yeah. This one complains about how convenient the case was.

C: Mm.

G: But isn't that the point? That Dean is actively looking for a case in every single place he goes?

C: Yeah.

G: "The worst episode till now."

C: What?

G: Ugh, I don't even want to read it because like, I'm feeling bitter!

C: Aww. I'm gonna read it, I guess.

G: Yeah, you go read it and take the excerpts.

C: Oh my god, fucking- fuck you. They said that this episode is bad because, "despite their hunting history together, all of a sudden, Sam stops trusting Dean's hunter instincts." Sam was right! Sam is always right, and you are always wrong, random IMDB reviewer. [G laughs] This person says that it doesn't make sense that Dean confronts people that don't know what he's talking about, even the last season, he was good at knowing when someone was lying or not. Like, have you heard of a thing called grief? [laughs]

Yeah, it hurt them to see the characters they invested in grow in a way so that they don't get stronger or smarter and don't learn. [laughing] I love it when characters don't get stronger, don't get smart, and don't learn. Also, grief!

G: I love it because I look at them and go "They're just like me!" [C laughs]

C: For real.

G: This one- what-? There's a weird one. At the bottom. Should we mention it?

C: Yeah, the- um, yeah, there's just one rating that's completely about how the person who plays- who is credited with playing Angela in IMDB is not the actual actress who did it because- and then they go on for so long, about how-

G: Her features are different.

C: - the woman who plays Angela had a larger nose and a narrower chin. "Her mouth was about as wide, but her lips were the wrong shape. And her smile was nothing like Summer's variety of smiles." Who are you? Okay, oh my god, and then they said, [mockingly] "Her eyes are slightly angled, giving her a very exotic look." [G laughs] Who are you?

G: [laughing] I would love for this person to describe me.

C: [laughing] Literally. Your nose is flatter and your eyes are slightly angled.

G: No, I checked, and they changed. The actress playing Angela is Amara Zaragoza.

C: Okay, yeah. So I guess this person's comment did some good, even though, like, the level of detail that they went into is just offsetting.

-

G: Okay, so I think that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next time, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 5: “Simon Said.” Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Also, thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [together] Bye!

[guitar music]