#and with these car issues I’m having I feel like I’m just falling apart
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
prettyboybuck · 10 months ago
Text
lemme find a fanfic to read and lay in bed and drink a glass of wine cause I deserve it and I’m so sad tn
0 notes
madigoround · 1 year ago
Text
💜
#following tags will discuss a mass shooting don’t read if you’re not in a stable mental place take care of yourselves 💜#yesterday while I was on the way home from work there was a mass shooting down the street from my work/in the heart of the city#this was in the heart of the city in broad daylight at a high school graduation a graduating senior and his father were shot and killed and#others were shot and are in the hospital who knows if they will recover a 14 year old was shot a nine year old boy was hit by a car running#from the shooting trying to protect himself all of those graduating high schoolers and their families had to run for their lives and were#traumatized on a day that should have been joyful and at the time that this happened I was headed home and saw tons of police cars zooming#past and then did teletherapy and before even hearing about the shooting this morning I was crying to my therapist about how it feels like#the world is crumbling apart and there is so much cruelty and there are things happening to my friends and to the people around me and#there’s nothing I can do about it I just feel so powerless and defeated I want to crawl in a hole and not emerge until things have gotten#better and then to come to work and be told that we’re probably going to be assigned this case to defend the shooter and it’s like I don’t#think people should be put in cages right? I don’t think prison is an appropriate or effective solution and it#certainly is modern day slavery and the people that go to prison often come out years later with no options and very little rights and it’s#not helpful to anyone really I’m not saying I want the kid that did this to be locked up forever because it’s not actually going to solve#the issue that being said I’m already investigating a shooting/murder that happened in broad daylight a few months ago on a street I was#walking on twenty minutes before the shooting and I am struggling with it#I don’t know how we can be expected to defend this client who killed people down the street from us in broad daylight who shot at children#and it all makes me feel so utterly powerless#it feels like the world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do#all my irl friends are really going through it right now and I don’t want to put this on them but I need to get it out of my head
1 note · View note
actually-safer-to-kiss · 8 months ago
Text
Pounding
Tumblr media
Summary: Reader has a migraine, and Spencer wants to help.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Hurt/comfort
Content warnings: none
Word count: 1.2k
Tumblr media
The transition of seasons is something that has to be endured. It’s the time when you wake up to frost on your windshield in the morning but must remove your coat by the time you leave work. It is a painful time of inconsistency, especially for your sinuses. Not only with the pollen in the air (as well as on your car at all times) but the dryness as well. It causes your headaches to go from sometimes once a month to now twice a week.
And the first one happens this week, today. The migraine descended on you like a storm, brewing from your nasal cavities, its relentless waves of pain crashing against the shores of your temples. With each throb, the world around you seemed to blur and spin.
You shut the door to your apartment and let your bag fall from your shoulder, with no care with where it lands. Light, food, the smell of home is all too much to bear. With a sigh, you shuffle to the sanctuary of your room and bask in the silence while you can still control it. You unleash yourself from your business casual attire and fall into bed, nestling yourself under the covers.
The darkness relieves pressure, only slightly. It will probably be hours before it has settled, so you think it is best to call it a night now at 5:56 in the evening. There was no point in doing anything else as streetlights alone from the windows have proven to be enough to make the back of your eyes ache. You remained still, motionless, unmoved. Minutes could stretch well into hours without your knowledge.
Until the sound of the front door opened, cutting through the quiet. Spencer was home, which means it’s 6:06 now. The creaking floors from his aged apartment tell you he goes to the kitchen first, the sink runs, then his steps only grow closer to you until you can feel his presence at your back. “Migraine?” He asked, already knowing the answer.
It drains all energy and motivation out of you, so you merely nod in response. He’s more than familiar with severe head pain; chronic migraines that were resolved with a vitamin regimen. Fortunately, he has yet to complain about them bothering you in the year you’ve been together. And he never leaves home without them.
Unfortunately, this makes him eager to figure out your head pains. Last spring, he left out an array of vitamins in a pill organizer. They didn’t. It wasn’t an issue at first. It was clear he was trying to help. The downside of your boyfriend being a child prodigy and objective genius is that he will never back down from a challenge, even when you have asked him to. He can’t do it. Later in the month, he came home one day with an array of tea brands, mostly ginger and peppermint. He’s bought humidifiers, massaged the cartilage of your nose, and even consulted Reddit. It’s certainly worn down your patience, especially when you require complete silence.
“I can get you some hot compresses from the pharmacy if you want.” He jumps in completely. The last three words are merely to cushion the obvious; reiterating the point rather than saying something like, “I’ve had headaches before. I know how awful they are, so you should let me help you.” Which he’s also said.
You continue the annoying pattern by shaking your head with an audible moan. Opening your eyes hurts.
“What about nasal spray or decongestant? I can get those at the pharmacy as well.”
“I don’t need anything from the pharmacy. I took ibuprofen. Just need to keep my eyes closed.”
“Well, that can only help so much today. Saline will help encourage drainage and expansion in the vessels. Ibuprofen solves the head pain, not the root problem.”
“Unless the BAU can order planting fruit trees, it’s the best we can do.”
“What I’m trying to say is—”
You groan louder. “This isn’t a time for solutions, Spencer.”
Another unfortunate aspect of your relationship is that you can feel the way Spencer’s face softens from your tone. He then mutters out an apology, a brief sorry, but he doesn’t leave. He touches your shoulder and keeps his hand there until you turn to face him. And because you love him very much, you strain to open your eyes. You can make out a blur of his silhouette in the growing darkness, but still see clearly his glossy eyes and the quirk of his lips. “Can you do something for me first, though? Real quick?”
Before you answer, his hand slides toward your upper back, meaning you have to sit up for this. You were ready to say something along the line that he’s lucky you love him right now and leave it at that because thinking further made the pressure in your temples increase. 
You didn’t have to speak at all, though. Because Spencer is also holding a glass of water in front of you. You look up at Spencer’s puppy-eyed silhouette. “Not a solution,” he says softly. “It’s something you always need.”
Well, if that didn’t make you feel like an asshole. You accepted the glass without a word, feeling the coolness against your palm as you brought it to your lips. Each sip, at the very least, a distraction from the throbbing. Spencer watches you closely. You had no choice but to finish the whole glass. And you did, leaving Spencer satisfied enough as he took the glass and walked out.
You didn’t say a word. The sink ran again, and Spencer returned with another full glass. He doesn’t hand it to you, instead puts it on the nightstand before turning precariously on his heels. It takes you a second through half-closed eyes to realize he’s walking back out. You’re afraid to ask, wondering if you’ve made him too upset to talk. You push yourself and do so anyway, keeping your tone in mind. “Where are you going?”
Spencer turns on his heels once more, looking around momentarily like there were others in the room. He then looks at you. “I figured you wanted to be alone.”
You reach out, moving through the pain quite literally, and you catch the polyester of his cardigan just between your fingers and pull him closer until you can wrap your arms around him. You hold your breath, knowing the intense smell of his laundry detergent would be enough to collapse down to your pillow in further pain. His cardigan is soft against your face. “Do you have other stuff to do?”
He chuckles, his abdomen bounces. So, he’s not too mad. “I do not.”
Encouraged by his response, you tug him gently (and not so gracefully) into bed. He’s delightfully warm. Spencer kicks off his shoes in response before pulling you close. Then you bury your face into his chest, hesitant to breathe in the scent of cedar that clings to the cardigan. You try best to ignore it as you cocoon yourselves beneath the blankets, finding refuge in each other’s company amidst the inner turmoil that comes with spring. You listen to the steady rhythm of Spencer’s heartbeat, and find a fleeting sense of peace in the storm.
455 notes · View notes
nightdivinity · 10 months ago
Text
Drink Responsibly: Chapter 1
Tumblr media
ABO!Vampire!Batfam x reader
Minors! Do! Not! Engage! +18 only!
Platonic!Alfred, Bruce x reader, Possessive! Batboys x reader
Warnings: Bad life choices, possessive behavior, a/b/o, they're vampires, loooong age gaps, no proofreading, reverse harem.
Writer's Note: I am so tired. I exist only because of caffeine and spite. So here you go, Chapter 2 is done as well. It will come out Friday hopefully.
Grey eyes stare into yours as you try your hardest to not squirm under the intensity. How did you get to be where you are? You have no clue. Honestly, there shouldn’t have been a callback. You should not have landed this opportunity for the second interview. The initial screening process should have weened you out in the first place.
From what you had gathered from the chatty chauffeur in the town car, (the town car! They knew you had no car to get to Wayne Manor, let alone to your job. Yet they still sent you someone to go pick you up from your ratty apartment.) This was all ordained by someone much higher than Mr. Pennyworth in front of you. The talk with the chauffeur had almost put you at ease until you looked out the window and saw the heavy iron gate open to Wayne Manor’s winding driveway. There’s no doubt in your mind. You shouldn’t be here. In more ways than one.
It made your bandages itch the more you thought about it. You couldn't scratch them like the feral animal you were deep down inside. At least, not when you're being as heavily scrutinized as you are now.
“I’m not sure you know what you’re getting yourself into my dear.”, the butler says.
“I want this job.”
He sighs then and reaches for the cup of tea sitting on the table next to him. When you got to the Manor, Mr. Pennyworth had met you at the front step. He still ushered you through a side entrance and a winding set of narrow hallways until you reached the sitting room you were now in. Not that you were complaining about being treated like a servant when you were trying to like hell to land the job.
If ever there was an excellent place to kill someone, this was it. You find yourself thinking as you look away from him and study the art on the walls. The manor itself was far removed from society and the small windowless study with the ornate crackling fireplace was oppressive as much as it was impressive. No one would ever hear you scream.
“The issue is not a matter of want. The issue is a matter of need.”, he says.
You watch him take a sip as a bead of sweat collects at the back of your neck. It was getting too hot in here, and the bandage around your wrist was itching.
“I need it. No one wants to hire me”, You reply.
You’re not sure what you expect after you say that. Half of you were expecting him to start grilling you like he did during your interview two days ago. That one had taken place in daylight, in an ostentatious conference room at Wayne Enterprise's.
You were still waiting for him to pick you to the bone and say, “Why is that?”. The other half feels like the admittance makes you guilty. Guilty of going out that night. Guilty of getting caught in a crowd surge while blackout drunk. Guilty of the infected thralls that were unleashed by the Scarecrow goons. Guilty of killing the infected that had started ripping you to pieces. Not that you remember any of it, frustratingly enough. No one, not even the news, gave enough information on that night. Why was I there?
“How are you doing dear?” Pennyworth asks.
You blink. No one has asked that yet. Not by anyone that you feel genuinely wants to know the answer.
“Good. Sore, and I believe honesty is the best policy. I can’t dance like I used to.”, you joke.
It falls flat in the cramped space as you give him a tight grin. His grey eyes dart momentarily to the crutch that was resting next to the chair, and to the cast going slightly above your knee.
“Yes, honesty is such an important quality nowadays. Might I say, it is fortunate that you survived.”
“No one else thinks that. I’m just thankful that Duke was there. I was told he was the one that got me to the hospital. Now he’s gone and got me this interview.”
It’s funny. Time from that night seems disjointed. While you were black-out drunk, you do feel as though you were only in the club for five minutes. The attack happened at 12:45 am. You remember waking up in the hospital and finding your chart on your way to the bathroom. It said you were admitted at 2 am. The next time you managed to grab it, it had said 12:59 am. Not to mention your wounds were healing at a faster rate than most Omegas. Something was picking deep inside your skull.  
 “Luckily this job is not strenuous if you are up to the task.”
You nod at him. You need this.
“Well, there are rather strict rules. Breaking them is a breach of contract that will be handled severely. This isn’t like a regular job out there. Any problems that arise will not result in a simple firing.”, he pauses before continuing, “For example, personal electronic devices are prohibited in the Manor. Your bags will be thoroughly checked by me upon arrival. You will be allowed devices that are monitored by security.”
“I can’t just be cut off from my family”, you protest.
“We don’t want you to. You may make phone calls during your allotted time off. They will happen here, or in Master Bruce’s office with either him or me in the room. Your predecessor was fond of skirting her duties and we have found the need for such restrictions.”
“While excursions are discouraged, they are not prohibited. We will go over those security measures at a later time. You are to be readily available when called upon at any time they require something. While day workers are employed here, at no point are you allowed to interact with them.”
You can’t help the way your brows furrow. This was going to be a long year if you were to take this opportunity. With each rule, you wondered if this was why the position was empty for so long.
“I tend to the bedrooms, and at no point should you enter them unless invited by the occupant. You will be given a room as well, and I would appreciate cleanliness. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all served at the same time, tardiness is prohibited.”
“Will I be helping in the kitchen?”, you ask.
“No. Not unless you want to, if you are going to cook, please notify me accordingly.”
“So, wait. I’m confused. Just what is my job here?”
Alfred sighs and for the first time since you’ve met the prim and proper gentleman, he seems a bit haggard. Which did not make you feel good.
“It gets awful lonely here in the manor. As I’m sure you are aware, Alphas live for a long time. Particularly ones infected such as those in Wayne Manor. Now and then it is refreshing to have something that brings more life into such a place. The children have taken an interest in you, and that is enough for Master Bruce.”
“I’m not a toy.”
“No. You’re fortunately not. What you are being offered is room and board, all you have to do is adhere to the rules. In exchange, you have to be a friend. Surely you know how to do that”?
If he had asked your friend, he’d have been met with a resounding no. After that night you had found yourself crippled in the hospital with no friends to speak of. Your friend had been peeved, rightfully so, that you had just packed their wasted butt into a car with a stranger. You had been miffed because hello?? They weren’t the ones chomped on by a deranged rabid Beta. They had made it home in one piece, even getting past the front door and into their bed. Both of you had been wasted, so why act like it was all your fault? You were getting tired of the world treating you like you were the root cause of life’s issues.
“I won’t be doing any of that”, you ask.
Now he just looked downright uncomfortable. You were almost embarrassed, but the question needed to be asked. Being hired to be a friend to Alphas that were at least a century old likely resulted in you waking up in a bed that’s not yours.
“Only if you consent to it. You won’t be reprimanded for not doing it, or if you do find yourself in that position.”, he clears his throat, “Healthcare and dental is provided. Due to your circumstances as an Omega, blockers will be provided along with your daily vitamins. Your health and safety is paramount to us.”
You had nothing more to say. Silently you sat there, running through any alternative options, and yet you kept hitting a wall. There was no denying it, this was the best option you could be given. All you had to do was smile and nod and make it a year. By then you should be able to get your feet back underneath you and be able to reassess your situation. Who knows? You might just like it.
“I’m going to say, you have a deal”, you smile at him.
“Then please, call me Alfred.”
He gets up then and holds a hand out to you to help you out of your chair. His smile back is warm, creases folding up from his eyes, a drastic change from the cold persona that you had started becoming accustomed to.
“Shall I call for the town car Ms. (L/N)?”
This was the start of a beautiful friendship, you decided. You nod your head as he pulls you up and gives you a brisk but friendly pat on the shoulder.
“Duke, you don’t have to do this”, you protest.
It was the thirteen-hundredth time you’ve said it. When Alfred closed the interview, he had taken the time to walk you to the front door, pointing out so many rooms that it all went over your head. You almost made it to the front. Then Duke saw you and took over from there.
“No, no, and for the last time, stop. I want to do it”, Duke grins up at you.
He was on the floor, taping up the last of your boxes. You hate to admit it, but you’re not sorry in the slightest as he does all the heavy lifting. The best part about it was getting to see all the muscles in his back when he turned around. Yum. Hey, you were a red-blooded Omega. There were just some things you couldn’t fight.
“Be careful not to break that”, you warn.
“Right, because what will the world do without these little tchotchkes?”, Duke laughs.
Somehow, not surprisingly, he dodges the stray crutch that you toss half-heartedly in his direction. At this point, he was used to you trying to weaponize your “mobility aide”.
It all started when he helped you get back to your apartment, in a wheelchair that he bought. Then he abandoned said wheelchair and carried you bridal style up several flights of stairs. Citing that the elevator was too dangerous because it hadn’t been inspected in the past decade. Even ignoring you when you told him that it would be far more likely for both of you to fall to your death in the stairwell. This was all two weeks ago, and he still refuses to use the elevator.
He was on the floor now, humming and throwing your shit in boxes. You weren’t sure how he did it. When you agreed to the move, you had been internally wincing and panicking. Thinking it was just going to be you, hopping pitifully around the room. Probably taking breaks and reminiscing over the stray artifacts of your life. You would’ve needed at least three days max to get packed. Duke cut it down to two hours.
“Sooooooooo”, you draw out, “Tell me about the others.”
 “There’s not much to say, not a lot that I can either way. What do you want to know?”
Your eyes narrow as he turns weirdly evasive. He always got a little cagey when you brought up his adoptive family. Never quite answering the question.
“What are they like? Are they nice?”, you ask.
He pauses and stands, turning his back to you so he can put a box on the trolley. We’re going to take the elevator. You thought with a smug sort of glee at the realization. That means you’ll be in your wheelchair. See, you’re slowly reclaiming your independence. Sort of.
“Um. Cass is really nice, but you won’t see her often. Same with Steph. They both kind of do their own thing and no one lives at home besides Alfred, Bruce, and me. Though that might change.”
He pauses again. You stick your tongue out at his back only for him to whirl around to face you. Quickly you snap it back in and try to appear innocent as you stare up. Ew. Popcorn ceiling. You wonder for a second if you could have asbestos in your lungs from that.
“Dick, I mean Grayson, he oversees the training of the Alpha taskforce in Bludhaven. Jason avoids Bruce like the plague while doing the most to get his attention, and I can't really get into what he does for a living. You don't want to know. Tim lives and breathes at Wayne Enterprise’s various global sectors, some of the time, he’s the hardest to track. Damian has been somewhere in Pakistan. Where? I don’t know. I would avoid him and Jason if at all possible. Not that you'll likely see them."
You had to smother your cry of relief. This was going to be a lot easier than you thought. There were only going to be three people that you had to worry about. Maybe you were going to finally complete a New Year’s resolution now that you had time. The world was looking up for you.
“I think that’s it, are you ready?”
His question breaks off your train of thought. You can’t help but groan when he gets near you, arms outstretched, ready for a hug and humiliating you. To make matters worse, he says the worst thing possible.
“Up you go!”, Duke crows.
“No! To the chair! Put me down you overgrown bat!”, you say.
Thankfully he does, gently plopping you down in the cushy seat and stooping to ruffle your hair. You were hissing mad. Not that he cared. Just to goad you further, he reached over to the handles behind your back and rang the obnoxious little bike bell he attached to it.
“Run”, you warn him.
He laughs while sprinting with the dolly all the way to the elevator as you try like hell to mow him down. Both of you completely missed the way his phone kept blowing up with notifications, the small dings being mistaken for a bike bell.
457 notes · View notes
samandcolbyownme · 6 months ago
Note
Can you make like a fluff one shot with either Johnnie Guilbert or Sam Golbach x Fem reader? Like where the reader is like having a panic attack or like just stressed out of all the work the reader is doing and the hate as well (because she’s like famous of something, I dont know what so you can pick)and one of them is helping the reader be comfortable and telling her not to worry? I have no clue if that made sense but if you do make it Thanks!
Tumblr media
Together so Well | Johnnie Guilbert
Warnings: some swearing, talk of bad day, crying, slight panic attack, one time mention of wine, mostly fluff
Enjoy!
══════════════════
Your drive home today was different.
You were silent, drove the speed limit, and your music was off.
Life has been, not easy, lately. The trolls of the internet world have come your way for whatever reason, and they’re picking apart every little thing you do.
You sat out in the driveway, staring at the house you share with Johnnie.
You were also an influencer, just like him. So, he understood how you were feeling, but hated talking about it. You didn’t even want to acknowledge them.
You let out a sigh as you get out of the car, locking it as you walk up towards the house. You walk in, looking around for Johnnie, but you don’t seem him anywhere, “Baby? I’m home.”
A few minutes later, he comes walking out, “Sorry I was finishing up a stream.” He walks over to you, arms wrapping around your neck, “How’d the shoot go?”
You shrug, “As good as it can get.”
Johnnie looks down, “I’m sensing that there’s something wrong here.” He tilts his head, hands moving to lay on your shoulders as you nod, “You would be sensing correctly.”
Within a split second, you were crying. Tears soaking your face as you clung to Johnnie while gasping for air.
His arms go around you, holding you to him as he rests his cheek against the top of your head, “Hey, baby hey.”
He shushes you calmly, rubbing his hand up and down your back, “What’s going on?” He asks, resting his hand on your hip, “Y/n. Sweetheart, talk to me.”
“Stupid fuckin’ internet trolls.” You mumble, sniffles cutting in between your words, “..having n-nothing be-tter to do. They’ve just been picking and trying to ri-rip apart everything I fucking do.” You continue, letting out a groan, “Like I didn’t even want to do this shoot today, because what’s the fucking point if they’re only going to get ravaged by the vultures?”
You start to sniffle, tears spilling out once again, “Fuck.” You slap your hands over your face, falling into Johnnie’s chest again, “I hate this. I hate it.”
“Whoa. Okay.” Johnnie gives your body a squeeze, “take a breathe, first off.” He presses a couple gentle kissses to your forehead, “I know damn well you kicked that shoot’s ass. You look so beautiful, even before you left for it.”
You give him a small smile and he tilts your chin up, “I’m really exited to see the pictures when she sends some through tonight.”
You just nod back, glancing down, but Johnnie’s hand lifts your chin, “Look at me.”
You look up at him, “You are the most beautiful girl in the world, okay.” He swipes away tears with his thumbs, “The people that pick apart what you do and how you do it, or what you don’t do.. need to have their lives picked through once, guarantee you won’t hear from them again.”
No matter how shitty of a day you had, Johnnie always pulls you back together, and for a little while he put you back together so well, you forgot about your issues almost completely, and that’s why you loved him.
You smile slightly, “Thank you, J.”
He pulls you in, gently pressing his lips to your, “Now go sit, pick a movie. I’ll get you some wine, okay?”
You nod and look up at him, “Might as well bring the whole bottle.” You purse your lips as he leans in, “I love you.”
“Already planned on it.” He kisses you again and you smile, “I love you.”
“Alright, now go. We can finish talking about it then if you want.” Johnnie nods and you smile, “I always want you telling me how pretty I am.”
══════════════════
Thanks for reading! 🖤 I love you always!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
133 notes · View notes
flemingsfreckles · 7 months ago
Text
Helping Hand
Tumblr media
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Preview: coming home from working as a mechanic, you notice a pretty girl struggling to change her tire.
Warnings: none
WC: 1.6k
A/N: this was inspired by how dirty I left work the other day, I don’t work as a car mechanic though but this was the easiest way to write the fic.
You had just finished a long shift at work, you felt disgusting. Your hands, arms and face were covered in a sticky and offputting mixture of grease, oil, hydraulic fluid, and likely just dirt. It was the worst part of your job working on heavy machinery in a shop you loved every second of it. Something about taking apart machines, finding the issue and putting it back together was like an exciting 3D puzzle.
As you walked down the sidewalk you noticed a girl, probably close to your age, bent over next to her car. It only takes a second to see what she’s doing, she’s changing a flat tire. Or at least she’s trying to change a flat tire.
You watch her as you continue to walk down the road in her direction, she seems a little confused, flipping through the car manual, picking up and placing down tools. It crosses your mind to help her. After the long day you had, you didn’t really want to do more work but it’s not like you had fully showered and were clean yet. Plus it didn’t hurt that the girl sitting on the ground was pretty and you were a sucker for brown haired girls.
As you approached her, you decided you’d offer the help. “Hey, I don’t mean to overstep, but would you like some help with that?”
The girl turns to you, her face is covered in freckles, her eyes soft. She takes a second, looking you up and down, her eyes lingering over the dirty patches on your clothes and skin. She gives you a smile and a wave. “Oh no, I’m good, thank you.” You notice her accent, she clearly wasn’t from around here.
“You sure? I don’t mind.” You can tell she’s confused and lost and you could see the girl giving up and calling a tow truck or maybe her boyfriend to come help her.
“Yeah I’m sure, thanks.” She gives you a quick glance before she turns back to working.
You then see something and realize now you can’t let this girl keep doing this on her own. So you take a step back, not wanting to overstep after she told you no twice, but still being around.
You can tell the girl knows you’re still behind her. She continues trying to work for a few minutes before she looks back at you, then back to the car, then back to you. She furrows her eyebrows in your direction, indicating her confusion on why you were still standing behind her.
“I’m just being a good citizen now. I’ll call 999 for you when your car falls off the jack that you set up all wrong.” You hold up your phone at her and give it a shake with a smile on your face.
“Oh.” The girl looks up at you then back at the car where it was being held off the ground. “Did I actually do it wrong?”
“Yeah you have it on the body, not on the frame.” You place down your bag and phone on the sidewalk and kneel down next to her. You point out to her that the car jack was just slightly off from where I should be set.
“So can I help you?”
“I guess, I just hate feeling like I can’t do things without someone else’s help. I’m not just a ditsy girl, I went to school for engineering.” You notice a frown on her face, it’s cute.
“Hey changing a tire isn’t something most people know how to do, they should, but most don’t. I really don’t mean for my offer of help to come off condescending. I definitely don’t think you’re ditsy. Most people would give up and call for a tow the second they see the flat tire, you at least were trying.” You give her a smile. She gives you a halfhearted grin.
“Yeah I guess, I just thought I was doing it right. So who taught you how to do this?” She’s turned to you, watching you move the jack on her car.
“I taught myself, but I do mechanics work for a job so, it’s really second nature.”
“Given how dirty you seem, I figured you worked on cars or maybe in a coal mine but I don’t know of any around here.” She makes a joke and looks at you, you can see her studying the lines of dirt across your face.
“Yeah sorry, I promise I tried to wash before I left work, the grease just never comes out.” You hold your hands out, flipping them over to show her. “So can I ask what your plan was going to be if you couldn’t get this yourself?”
“Probably a tow truck, or call Sam or something.” She shrugs. You feel a little deflated at the mention of a man, not that you expected the beautiful girl in front of you to have any interest but you held out a sliver of hope.
“Sam? Is he your boyfriend?” Hoping he was maybe just a friend and you wouldn’t have to completely abandon the idea of asking her out.
“Oh no, she’s my teammate. I feel like she’d know how to do this.” The girl pauses for a second. “I don’t date men.”
“Oh.” Your response accidentally coming out as if you were disappointed in her admitting she didn’t date men.
“Sorry I don’t know why I said that.”
“I don’t date men either.” You throw out the comment, both to make her feel more comfortable in the fact that she just came out on what seemed like accident, or that you wanted to let her know you were into women too.
“So teammate? What do you play?”
“Oh soccer, or football, I guess. I’m also obviously not from here, I’m from Canada hence the lack of accent or I guess to you it probably sounds like I have an accent.”
“What made you move?” You couldn’t help but ask, it wasn’t everyday that you run into someone from another country, let alone one so far away.
“Also soccer.”
“Oh? Really?” You rack your brain wondering if there were other football fans that would move to London just to be near the Premier League teams, which sounded crazy to you.
“What do you do for work? You said you went to school for engineering, is that what you do?”
The girl laughs and her laugh is sweet, it sounds like sunshine. “Will you think I’m a liar if I tell you soccer?”
“Really? Like, you play professionally?”
“Yes.”
“That makes more sense, I just thought you were a diehard fan and moved to watch the games, which I realize now is incredibly stupid to consider. I don’t really follow football, too much running for me. But it’s obviously a popular game around here.” You hear her laugh at your thought process, her laugh is suddenly becoming one of your favorite sounds.
She let you work in silence for a bit. Once you got the jack set up in the right spot it was a quick process to put the spare on. She asked questions here and there, a little about your job, a little about what you were doing to her car.
“When you put the new one on, you have to tighten the bolts in a star pattern, see.” You demonstrate how to correctly tighten the wheel on to the car. “That way it’s not angled and doesn’t put any uneven force on your axel.”
“And there you go!” You hold your hands out as if you’ve just created a masterpiece painting and were displaying it. It had only taken a couple of minutes for you to change the girls tire, you hoped you weren’t holding her up from her plans. She helps clean up, grabbing some of the tools while you lowered the jack and her car back to the ground. You pick up the flat tire and walk it around to where she had the trunk open, placing it inside.
“Thank you again, I really owe you.” She says as her hand reaches to close the hatch of her car.
“Do you by chance like coffee?” It was a completely out of the blue question, but you couldn’t help but ask, hoping it would lead you in the direction of a date.
She looks at her watch and back up to you with confusion on her face. “I do. But isn’t it a little late for coffee?”
“Oh no, I don’t mean today. Maybe sometime this week or weekend if you’re interested, I could take you out to a cafe I like?” Giving her your best convincing smile, you were hoping she’d say yes.
“Wait but I’m supposed to be taking you out, you fixed my car and all.” The girl points at the spare tire on her car.
“I technically didn’t fix it, you still need a new tire. Don’t drive too far on that spare. If you need shop recommendations I know a few good ones in the area that won’t try and upsell you on stupid stuff just because you’re a woman.”
“That would be great.”
“Why don’t you give me your number so I can send you a few places?”
“Wow. Smooth.” She says as she takes your phone putting her name into your phone. And she hands it back to you. You read her contact.
“Jessie Fleming.” You read off her name. The name feels slightly familiar, probably just from jerseys or the radio or tv, you’re not sure but you don’t care to know her as famous footballer Jessie Fleming, you like her as the sweet brown hair brown eyes girl you helped out.
“That’s me.”
You tell her your name and stick out your hand to shake hers, you look down at it, doing your best to wipe it on your jeans before extending your hand again. “I promise my hands are clean, with the exception of maybe any dirt from your tire.”
“It was great to meet you, Jessie, I’ll be sure to text those recommendations and I’ll expect you to tell me when you’re not busy being a professional athlete and I can take you on a coffee date.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Have a good night Jessie!” You say to her before turning to finish your walk down the street. For a second you think about googling the girl but then decide against it when her name pops up on your phone.
Jessie Fleming ⚽️: I have a match in town Saturday but I’ll be free all day Sunday if that works for you?
You: sounds like a date!
You smiled as you typed and sent the message. You had a date and a sudden new interest in women’s football.
348 notes · View notes
chimcess · 4 months ago
Text
Waterlog || pjm (5)
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 10.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, angst, trauma, panic attacks, talks of panic attacks, talks of sex, k*ssing, I love them so much, jimin still the best boyfriend, small argument, insecurities, strong language, one bed trope, healthy relationship conversations, boundary setting, friends being friends, character has cancer, talks of character death (brief), dry humping, moaning, things are picking up A/N: I know I'm late again, but I have a lot of personal stuff going on in my life at the moment that had made writing challenging. First a breakup, then finding a new apartment, moving, and then waiting for my internet to get turned on. It's been hectic for me! But we are back. This was very lightly edited so I apologize in advance for any issues there might be. I will go through and edit this eventually, I just wanted to get it out for you guys!
prev || masterlist || next || playlist
Tumblr media
The drive to Jimin’s house was quick, the traffic not fully registering in my mind as I lost myself in thought. I had only ever been in love once before, and that had been a very different time in my life. I was no longer that same person, and the anxiety these new feelings were bringing up made me nauseous. I was not ready to say anything was certain, but I knew for a fact that I was falling hard and fast. 
The small suburb was nice with large homes. A few new modern builds stuck out like a sore thumb, but the area had still kept much of its original blue-American-suburban charm. Coming from Colorado, I was not used to seeing large front lawns or children’s toys left out after dark. Jimin was just ahead of me and I slowed down when his tail lights came on. 
The house was definitely brand new. I had never liked modern buildings, the architecture lacking the charm and personality I sought out when buying my own place in the Springs, but it suited the swimmer. It was difficult to make out much color, but I could tell it was mostly white with black accents on the front. Large windows took up a majority of the walls and a small balcony was above the front door. It was smaller than the other homes, but the yard was bigger than the rest, and a tall fence enclosed the back of the property. 
Taking a second to prepare myself for the rest of the night, I watched Jimin get out of Fiona and open up the two door garage at the front. He seemed to be in a rush, casting a few quick glances at my car as he paced back to the truck to pull it inside. I do not think he could see me looking back.
Picking up my phone, I called Hoseok.
“Everything okay?” He picked up, out of breath.
I smiled, “I’m okay. Promise.”
He had been extra worried about tonight. Out of everyone, Hoseok knew how huge this was for me. At one of our many late night parties I had told him that I could never love again, and that I never wanted to know that feeling again. If it wasn’t Namjoon then it could not be anybody. At the time he had reassured me, but as the years went on he had truly believed that I had completely closed off that part of my heart. To be so excited about someone had him cautious- even if he did poke fun at me most of the time.
“Why are you calling me then?” He asked.
“Just needed a bit of a pep talk,” I admitted, eyes still locked on Jimin’s truck. “I’m at his house. Feeling a little nervous.”
He hummed, “He seems like a good guy. Don’t think there’s anything you need to worry about. Just enjoy yourself.”
I sighed, watching the garage door close, knowing I would have to get out of the car soon. “I think I’m going insane.”
“Talk to me about it.”
Jimin stood by the garage door, looking at my car. I rolled the window down and waved, gestured to the phone, and managed a pathetic smile. He nodded, still watching me with a strange look on his face.
“I think I love him,” I mumbled, unable to look away from him.
Hoseok laughed, “You just figured that out? Baby, anyone with eyes and ears can see how you feel about the kid.”
“It’s been two seconds, Hobi. We barely know each other.”
“You don’t have to tell him anything,” My friend reasoned, voice nothing but friendly. “You’re all over the place right now, and you need to really think about how you feel. No one wants to hear someone ‘thinks’ they love them. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy yourself.”
As I steadied my breathing, I noticed Jimin’s face becoming concerned. He always knew when something was wrong, and it did not surprise me when he started walking across the front yard towards my car. 
“I have to go,” I choked out, panic bubbling in my chest with each step he took. “I don’t want him hearing us.”
“Otter-”
I hung up the phone and smoothed down my hair. My heart was running at a million miles an hour and my hands were shaking. I hated how worked up I got over nothing. Disgusted and discouraged, I forced a smile on my face and opened the car door. My phone vibrated, the sensation tickling my hand, but I chose to ignore it. Fake it till you make it, I told myself. The curve of Jimin’s mouth told me I was not fooling anyone.
“Everything okay?” He asked, coming to stand in front of me.
“Yeah,” I breathed, nodding frantically. In my panic, I did not see the curb and tripped. Jimin reached out to help steady me before I could fall. I shuttered. “Everything is fine. Hoseok just called to check in with me. Didn’t realize we were out together.”
The lie felt heavy on my tongue and Jimin’s eyebrows came together in confusion. He knew I was lying and it made the sinking in my gut all the more unbearable. Knowing I needed to get a grip, I stepped out of his arms and gestured to the house.
“Nice place,” I sounded like I had just run a marathon. “It’s very you.”
Jimin was quiet. Still trying to avoid talking about my odd behavior, I began rambling on and on about how much I liked the landscaping. The large bushes that surrounded the small front porch were a nice pop of color for the otherwise neutral paint job.
“Is that a gnome wearing a swimming ring?” I asked, squinting trying to make out the little figure in the darkness. “That’s so cute. Did your mom buy you that? I-”
“Y/N.”
My mouth clamped shut.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked, reaching out to caress my shoulder. “You’re not acting like yourself.”
I sighed, finally done hiding my very apparent discomfort. “Just really nervous about how I’m feeling.”
“Tell me about it?”
I looked at him and nodded, “Can we go inside? It’s really cold.”
“Of course, angel.”
The pet name made me short circuit long enough to get inside without saying another word. Were we on that level now? Would it be okay for me to start calling him sweet little names like that? Would he want me to? What would I even call the guy? Nothing seemed good enough. No words could ever be good enough to express everything that he was becoming to me. 
“I can take your coat,” Jimin murmured in my ears, hands already helping me shrug out of the dark wool coat. “Shoes go on that little shelf over there.”
“Thank you,” I absentmindedly replied, still dazed. 
What about babe? No, too conventional. Sweetheart? No, that was Joon’s thing. Honey? We are definitely not beating the old woman allegations with that one. That also rules out darling and sweetie. He’d never let me live that down.
“Feeling a bit better now?” He asked, hand on the small of my back as he led me further into the house. “You’re not shaking anymore.”
I had not realized how off course my thoughts had gotten. I got so swept up in him that everything else just faded away. Pleased, I smiled and nodded.
He chuckled, “Where did your mind go this time, angel girl?”
I giggled, giddy that we were keeping up the terms of endearment. 
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” I leaned into his touch, melting in his arms as we walked. He finally wrapped me up completely, pressing me into his side with his hand on my hip. “I like it when you call me that.”
Jimin hummed, “What? Angel?”
I nodded, putting my head on his shoulder. It was a bit awkward but I dealt with the discomfort. I enjoyed being this close to him. Knowing that he seemed just as eager to be here with me was a bonus. 
“What do you think of the place?” He asked.
Blinking, I tried to disguise the fact that I had not been paying attention to a single thing since we walked inside. Letting my eyes wonder, I almost laughed at how accurate Jimin’s description of his house was. 
Standing in his living room, I marveled at how dark everything was. Black leather sofas, a dark gray fluffy rug, a flat screen, and a black iron fireplace were the stand out pieces. There were a few family photos on the mantle and a fake potted plant beside it, but other than that it was completely barren. It was just as sad and depressing as he said it would be, but instead of feeling disappointed it only made me smile. Everything in here was his and now I was included in that. 
“I love it.”
He laughed, squeezing me impossibly closer, “You don’t have to lie. I know it’s the quintessential bachelor pad.”
“I’m not lying,” I argued. “It’s perfect. Very you.”
“Even the dusty, ugly, fake Der Rose Jungkook got me as a housewarming gift?”
“Especially that,” I joked.
“Okay clown,” He laughed, pulling away from my side. “Go sit on the couch and I’ll make us some hot chocolate. Need to warm you up.”
Giving me the remote for the very large television hanging above the fireplace, Jimin promised to be back soon and left me in charge of finding something good to watch. After flicking through a few channels, I ended up settling on 21 Jump Street and ogled at Johnny Depp and Holly Robinson Peete. My dad and I used to watch the show together when I was young, and it brought me back to the few happy times that we had. I really needed to call him.
“Damn that’s a handsome man.”
I jumped, “Jesus you scared me.”
Jimin laughed, setting down two mugs on his coffee table. They were steaming hot and I decided to leave mine to cool off for a few seconds. Taking his seat next to me, Jimin was quick to throw his arm around my shoulders and pull his legs up onto the sofa. 
“Get comfortable,” He said, crossing his legs. “It’s just me.”
“Yeah,” I snorted, curling my legs up next to me and placing my head on his shoulder. “That’s the problem.”
“You’re being extra flirty tonight,” He teased. “I like it.”
I chose to stay quiet and watch the show. This was one of my favorite episodes. Hanson, Hoff, and Loki go undercover to try and solve a string of drive-by shootings between a couple of gangs, and Booker is trying to investigate a dirty cop on the force. I always loved the scenes between Johnny Depp and Holly the most. They were so cute together and the chemistry was crazy even though their characters never ended up together.
Jimin started playing with my hair, his fingers gently caressing my neck before scratching my scalp. It felt amazing and I relaxed even further into his side. After that episode was over, he leaned down and put his head on top of mine. Another episode came on, this was the second part to the previous, and I let my eyes close. This was really nice. And to think I almost let it all go to shit because I could not keep myself from spiraling.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I mumbled.
“Don’t be,” He whispered back, placing a small kiss on the top of my head. “Never apologize for being upset.”
Taking a deep breath, I thought about what Hoseok had said. There was no reason to tell him anything right now, or at least, the “L” word did not need to come into conversation. Still, it felt wrong to keep him in the dark. Jimin was always willing to listen and I felt awful for lying to him earlier.
“I really like you and sometimes it scares me,” I admitted quietly. “I called Hoseok to see if he had any advice. Sorry I lied about that.”
He shook his head, “I’m not upset with you, angel. Sometimes they scare me, too.”
“Really?” I had never really thought about that before.
“Of course,” He chuckled, moving away to look down at me. I lifted my head in a rare act of bravery. “I don’t think you understand just how amazing you are.”
I smiled lazily, unable to look away from him. He looked so beautiful in this lighting. The tv on one side of his face, the darkness in the rest of the house casting a dark shadow on the rest of it. I noticed his head inching closer, eyes heavily lidded as he watched me, waiting for a reaction. Heart pounding, I did the only thing I could think of. I closed my eyes and tilted my head higher.
“You smell so good,” He murmured, lips brushing mine. “God, you’re so pretty.”
I opened my mouth to respond but was unable to get anything out before his lips were pressed against it. I breathed out through my nose and allowed myself to just enjoy it. His lips were so soft and plump, his upper lip just barely scratching my skin with peach fuzz, and chin ever so gently bumping against mine as we came together. 
My skin was on fire as he invaded every cell in my body until all I could think about was him. His hand gripped the back of my neck and pressed us together roughly, his tongue licking against my bottom lip asking to be let inside. There was nothing he couldn’t ask for now. I mewled embarrassingly when our tongues twisted together. Jimin groaned in response. 
“Is this okay?” He rasped when we pulled apart for air.
I replied by taking his face in my hands and pulling him back in for more. Jimin responded eagerly, gripping my neck tighter and holding me close. I hummed in satisfaction, leaning into his chest. His skin was on fire beneath me and I briefly wondered if his chest got as pink as his cheeks did.
Jimin broke away, dragging my body closer until I was practically laying on his lap, before guiding my mouth back to his. My lips were numb, swollen, and still begging for more. The show was long forgotten, the noise also like static in the background as I suckled on his bottom lip. Jimin whined, fingers twisting into my hair as he held me in place.
“Feeling okay?” He mumbled into my mouth, taking a second to catch his breath.
“Great,” I slurred, before shutting him up again.
I lost track of time as we sat there entangled in one another. Lips hardly able to feel anything anymore, I broke away and tried to calm my racing heart. Jimin took the opportunity to go for my neck, his plush lips delicate against my skin. I shuttered. 
I could feel my panties sticking to my folds, slick gently wetting my thighs as he continued his gentle assault on my neck. He never sucked hard enough to leave marks behind, but after a few moments I could safely say Jimin was a fan of teeth. They scratched my skin softly, tickling me in the process, before his tongue smoothed over any redness that might have popped up. Moaning, I tilted my head back and granted him more access.
“You’re so fucking hot,” He rasped, licking a long stripe up my neck before biting my ear. “So needy.”
I chuckled, the sound breathless. “Do you want to stop?”
“Fuck no.”
I giggled, kissing his cheek, “Such a boy.”
I nodded, kissing the underside of my chin before pecking my lips.
“I’m your boy,” He smiled lazily, kissing me again.
“Yes,” I agreed, unable to stop smiling as I cradled his face between my hands. “My good-looking boy.”
With one final peck on my chin, Jimin leaned back into the sofa and dragged my body down with his. Laying on top of his body, my eyes fixated on the tv. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was playing now, and I grinned. It was one of my favorite shows to watch when I had a bad day. It was nice to have it with me at this moment. A happy memory with my comfort show in the background only sweetened the already tender moment. 
“She should have been with Spike,” Jimin’s chest rumbled underneath me.
Getting more comfortable, I nodded.
“I kind of like that she decided to stay friends with them both. Tara and Willow were the power couple anyway.”
“Not a fan of Oz?” He started playing with my hair.
“I liked them, too, but for different reasons. The only other couple that comes close to Tara and Willow were Giles and Jenny.”
We were quiet as we watched, small kisses shared during commercial breaks, and I never felt the need to try and open my mouth. Nothing needed to be said when our feelings were so apparent. Hoseok, as usual, was right. I just needed time to breathe and think about things before running head first into a love confession. And if he said anyone with eyes and ears could see how I felt, then there was no real reason for me to say anything. Jimin already knows. He always did.
“God, I’ve always loved that DeSoto Fireflite,” I gushed, eyeing Spike's car hungrily. “The ‘59 model is sexy.”
“Why do you know so much about cars?” He asked.
“My dad’s a mechanic,” I explained. “He owns his own restoration shop back in Pennsylvania and I used to go over there all of the time. I almost ditched swimming to take over the body shop when he lost an employee.”
“You never stop amazing me,” He murmured, kissing the top of my head. “Has he found anything cool recently?”
I grew quiet. Truthfully, I had no clue. It had been almost two years since we last spoke, and I doubted he was looking forward to hearing from me. He had a new family. A new life. One that did not have the space for me in it. My silence must have worried Jimin because he asked if I was okay.
“We don’t talk anymore,” I replied. “He got remarried a few years ago and his wife doesn’t like me.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “It’s juvenile, really. He seems happy though, so I don’t push it.”
“They don’t deserve you. You’re too good to be treated like that.”
I laughed, eyes prickling with unshed tears. I did not talk about this often and it felt nice to get it off of my chest. For a long time Victor had been the person I looked to as a father figure, and we still keep in touch. He always calls for holidays and birthdays, checks in randomly, and asks me how I’m doing. He stayed with me through the worst of the damage, and only left Colorado when his daughter decided to move abroad for school. Denver was too expensive to justify the expenses and his new trainee was in Florida. I missed him a lot more than I ever realized.
“I made my own family, though. Couldn’t have picked better.”
Colorado would always be home because that was where pieces of my heart lived. Jin, Andy, and Hoseok were never planning on moving. Minho would be there as long as Tilly was, and she was around for Hoseok. I had a feeling Max would change that, and the two of them may end up starting a new adventure with Minho in tow. A trouple for the ages. That made me grin.
Michigan was starting to feel like my own adventure. New bonds and ties are formed with each passing day. Going back to Colorado helped to put that in perspective. It did not matter if I was there or not, because my family was, and I would always have a place there. Ann Arbor was different.
The person I envisioned myself spending the rest of my life with lived here, his family and friends becoming like my own, and I could never ask him to leave them. When Na-Yeon died someone would need to be around for James and the kids. When Jungkook and Darcy inevitably went their separate ways, he would need a shoulder to cry on. Taehyung and his panic attacks. Milo and his work stresses. All of it meant that someone needed to be around to bring them back to themselves, and I wanted to be a part of that in any way they would allow me.
“I’m really happy that I met you,” I told Jimin, eyes not truly focusing on the show anymore. “Being here with you- I couldn’t ask for more.”
A kiss on my head, “I feel the same way, angel.”
I fell asleep like that. Jimin had to wake me up a little after one in the morning to see if I wanted to sleep at his place. I politely declined since I promised the Andersons that I would be back for breakfast tomorrow and left shortly thereafter. I barely even focused on the ride home, tired and drunk off of the high of the evening. 
Calvin was awake when I walked through the front door. A plate of cookies in front of him, he held up a finger to his lips and pointed upstairs. Violet had been strict about his diet as of late. The last time he had gone to the doctor his cholesterol levels were slightly elevated, and we had been eating very bland, not all that great food ever since. I smiled sleepily, stealing a cookie for myself as payment. We would never speak of this night again.
Finishing up my cookie, I quickly peeled out of my clothes before heading into the bathroom to do my skincare routine. Exhausted, I was barely aware of the text I sent to Jimin before I climbed into bed. I was asleep before my head ever hit the pillow.
Tumblr media
“You’re still not hitting your best time,” I spoke into my headset, looking at the stop watch in my hand. “We’re only at 90%. I want 92%.”
Jimin groaned, frustrated and tired. We had been at this all morning and he was not making as much progress as I hoped he would. I had prepared an 200s anaerobic training set so we could work on his endurance. For the last few weeks we were focused on speed and mastering his butterflies and turns. Now that we were feeling more comfortable training together I was moving onto those issues I had at the beginning. So far it was not going over well.
“This is bullshit,” He huffed, pulling his goggles up. “I’ve been at this for hours and haven’t done anything.”
I shook my head and fought to keep myself neutral. Training had become a bit challenging to work around given our new relationship status, but we both agreed to keep that out of our sessions. We had another date next Friday. He was refusing to tell me where we were going, the only hint being we would be going to Jungkook’s game, but the rest was a mystery. 
“You’re getting better,” I replied, holding the microphone closer to my mouth. I had woken up with a sore throat and could not speak loud enough on my own, so we were finally using my old earpiece to communicate. “You went from 88% to 90%. I think with some more drills we can get up a bit more.”
He went to put his goggles back on, but I told him to stop.
“We’re done for the day,” I said, rubbing my raw throat. “You’re getting angry and I’m losing my voice.”
He stared at me, glowering childishly, and crossed his arms across his chest. Lifting my head a little higher, I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. It was a challenge, one we both knew meant I was losing my patience. Normally he would back down at this point, tucking his tail between his legs, and going to the back to get changed. Today, it would seem, was not a normal day.
“No we’re not,” He said through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed. “I’m not where I want to be.”
“Yes. We. Are,” I made a show of emphasizing every word, tossing my clipboard onto the duffle at my feet. “Something is bothering you. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine, but you’ve been acting like a brat all morning.” I ripped my whistle off my neck, bent down, and shoved both it and the stopwatch into the pocket of the duffle bag. Jimin was still pouting in the center of the pool. “I’m not arguing with you. I’m sick and you’re angry. Just go get dressed.”
My throat burned. I talked too much and had not given the sore skin time to rest. Rubbing my forehead, I breathed through my nose in an attempt to cool off. His attitude was really starting to piss me off.
Angry, Jimin made his way out of the pool far louder than necessary. I sighed when the locker room door slammed behind him. I got us off on the wrong foot this morning by being snippy and curt with my answers. His foul mood only made it worse. As training went on I had gotten back into the groove, my annoyance over being ill forgotten, but my bad behavior had obviously bothered him enough to keep him frustrated with me for the rest of the morning. It did not help that I never apologized. 
I took more time packing up my things today hoping that I could “bump into” Jimin before leaving. I tried to think of the right way to word my own frustrations without undermining what happened between us. I hurt his feelings, and I needed to take ownership of that. 
“Sorry for acting like an ass.”
I shouted, shocked, and nearly slipped on the wet floor. Rebalancing on the balls of my feet, I looked over to see Jimin standing at the locker room door. He was still wearing his cap but threw on a pair of shorts. 
“I thought you were taking a shower,” I rasped, all of the fire from earlier gone. 
“Me too,” He ran a hand over his face and leaned against the closed door. “Just felt wrong letting you leave like that.”
I nodded, swallowing thickly. My saliva irritated my throat more and I winced in pain. I really needed something to help with the pain. 
“It’s not just you,” I finally said, my voice cracking. “I acted like an asshole this morning and you had every right to be upset. I’m sorry I didn’t apologize, either.”
“Doesn’t mean I should have gotten all pissy,” He sighed, looking more relaxed now than he had all day. “I’ve always had a bad temper, but that’s not an excuse to talk to you like that. It wasn’t even that big of a deal.”
He was doing that thing again, the thing where he downplayed his own hurt feelings and redirected blame onto himself. Not wanting his mind to go down that rabbit hole, I walked over to him. I rarely went to this side of the room. I usually used the employee shower in the back since I felt less exposed, but Jimin never felt ashamed of his nakedness. The only reason he started putting shorts on is because he noticed how awkward I became.
“It’s okay to be mad at me,” I soothed, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “We both acted a little childishly. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
Nodding, he leaned forward to rest his head on my shoulder. 
“I just feel bad,” He whispered into my skin. “You’re not feeling well and here I am making it worse. I’m such a dick sometimes.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close. Despite our second date being postponed due to training and the charity event this weekend, the physical affection we showed one another only ramped up. Kissing was Jimin’s new favorite thing, and I hoped we could take it a step further this weekend. Even if he was cool with taking things slow I had come to find out that I was not. Maybe after a nice conversation we could fool around a little more.
“So am I,” My voice was almost gone. “Now, can we stop arguing and get breakfast? A hot chocolate is the only thing that’s going to make me feel better.”
He chuckled, lifting his head to look at me. He was no longer angry, eyes dancing, and I felt a surge of energy run through me. Sick or not, I would do just about anything to keep him smiling. Even if it meant doing the hardest thing imaginable: apologizing. Stepping out of my embrace, Jimin took hold of my hand and walked us back to my duffle bag. He always insisted on carrying it.
“I think a hot tea would be much better for a sore throat,” He mused, “But if it’s cocoa you want, well, who am I to stop you?”
Rolling my eyes, I leaned into his side, “Who’s paying?”
“Me,” He scoffed. “Obviously. Denny’s is way cheaper than putting gas in my truck.”
That made me laugh loudly, the pain in my throat forgotten. We had a rule between the two of us. If you didn’t buy breakfast then you were buying gas for the day. Jimin had taken extra time coming to scoop me up this morning since I woke up sick and refused to stay in bed. After a lengthy conversation about money, we both agreed that he could pay for all of our dates if I could split up other costs with him. While not happy about it, he conceded.
“And they say chivalry is dead,” I teased, rolling my eyes.
The gym was filled, always packed just before and after lunch time. The lull of the afternoon would carry over until around 6 and we had a decent sized group until closing. When Giselle opened up at 5:30 the following morning, the same group of guys were always the first ones in the door. I had spoken to them a handful of times and helped spot one of them once or twice, but that was the most of my interactions with anyone that exercised here. None of us really wanted to be bothered, and kept mostly to ourselves.
Giselle and Sam were chatting at the host stand when we walked by. Jimin was always nice enough to greet his staff, but never stuck around for too long. They were all friendly, and he was very good friends with Yoongi and Megan, but he was too focused on keeping up with his daily schedule to hang out. Despite being late to everything, Jimin was an extremely organized person and hated it when his plans were disrupted. 
“Where are you two headed?” The young woman asked, a genuine smile on her face as she glanced down at our hands. 
“Breakfast,” I answered. Giselle was easily my favorite person here, her only competition being Megan or Yoongi, and I always tried to make time for her when she was available. “Do you need something?”
She shook her head, “Not right now, but would you be okay with bringing in a case of the blue Monsters tomorrow? We just ran out and Yoongi is feeling it hard.”
I laughed and agreed. Yoongi was the resident caffeine addict on staff and would go through pot after pot of coffee during his shift. After Drew, the general manager, told him he was using too many of the Keurig cups, he had moved onto energy drinks. The Lo-Carb Monsters were his favorite, and I was not surprised to hear he was out. He bought a four pack every other day.
“I’ll DoorDash a few packs to the building right now. I owe him anyway.”
“Are you ordering from Busch’s?” Sam asked. 
I nodded, “Probably. I know they’ll have them. What’s up?”
“Can you throw in a couple of sushi rolls?” He asked, and my phone vibrated in the side pocket of my leggings. “I sent you $20. I totally forgot to pack my lunch and I’m swamped with sessions today.”
“Sure man. Spicy crab rolls?”
“You’re an angel,” Sam sighed. “Make sure you get plenty of rest. You sound like shit.”
“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “See you tomorrow. I think Park will be riding solo tonight.”
Jimin chuckled, “I’m planning on skipping the gym tonight, too.”
We walked out of the building, hands swinging between us. The feeling was so familiar and yet so foreign. I had not dated since Joon’s passing and was severely out of practice, but Jimin made it feel easy. 
“You? Skipping leg day? Scandalous.”
Jimin laughed, sounding like sunshine. “And let my girl sit at home sick by herself?”
That shut me up. After learning I was a sucker for pet names, Jimin had gotten into the habit of using them to get his way. Feeling my face heating up, I forced a laugh as I let go of his hand and rounded the truck. My girl. It made me feel both terrified and comforted at the same time.
My girl…Angel…Angel Girl… I couldn’t pick a favorite.
“Do you mind if I come over?” Jimin sounded less confident now. 
I had barely noticed him starting the truck. Must have zoned out again. 
“I don’t have much to do,” I admitted. “My place is pretty boring.”
“You’re there,” He shrugged. “And you have a tv. I’m sure we can think of something.”
“Okay,” I hid my smile behind my hand and started to look out of the window.
Saline was very beautiful. At this time of year, many of the trees were barren but I knew they would look gorgeous in the summer. I frowned. I was set to be back in Colorado by then if I could not make up my mind about the move.
“Don’t get quiet on me, gran-gran,” I snorted. “You don’t blink when you zone out and it’s creepy.”
“I so do,” I laughed, turning to look at the pretty boy. “You are such a liar.”
That did nothing but make him laugh. “Might want to order those drinks, by the way.”
I thanked him for the reminder and quickly made a small shopping cart. I threw in a few extras. Coconut creamer for Skye, a new box of Hot Pockets for Drew and Dominic, and a large box of cookies and chips for the rest of the staff. Before I could check out, a page popped up of previous things I had ordered before and I quickly added one of those expensive bags of cookies. Those were Megan’s favorite and she had bought me two coffees this week. 
“Do you want anything?” I asked Jimin.
“Maybe some seaweed chips?” We were turning into the Denny’s parking lot. “Thanks, angel.”
I added in a few other items. Band-aids because I knew we were running low, more tea bags, the coffee pods Yoongi liked, and a few different packets of the candy for Giselle. She had such a sweet tooth it was a miracle she only had one cavity. It took me a bit longer to find Jimin’s favorite brand of seaweed chips, and I decided to toss in a few different flavors of the spicy ramen he loves to eat as well. Finally happy with my order, I checked out and messaged Sam that I secured his lunch. He sent me the sunglasses emoji as a reply.
“Earth to Y/N.”
I jumped, blinking rapidly, and saw a thoroughly amused Jimin staring at me. We were parked, the truck was off, and his hand was already on the handle. We both laughed but did not say anything else. If Jimin could be late all of the time then I could space out whenever I wanted.
“I’m so ready for these blueberry pancakes,” Jimin threw his arm around my shoulders as we walked. “What are you getting?”
I shrugged, “Hot cocoa and an omelet, probably.”
“An omlet does sound really good,” He mumbled to himself, holding open the door for me.
“That’s why I’m getting one,” I mumbled, pausing at the door to kiss him. “I’m thinking  ham and cheese.”
Jimin smiled, caught off guard by the gesture, “Shit, if omelets get me one of those then I’ll eat eggs for the rest of my life.”
I laughed, the sound echoing in the small entrance area. This Denny’s was always busy but I could see a few empty booths in the back. Perfect.
“You think I’m playing,” He continued, wrapping an arm around my waist as he grabbed a hold of the second door. “Breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I had to.”
I rolled my eyes, “You don’t need to live off eggs to get kisses, you big baby.”
“No,” He chuckled, swooping down and stealing a kiss of his own. “But it sounded really cool.”
The hostess smiled at our little exchange and I fixed her with a deadpan stare.
“Typical.”
She laughed, “Right this way.”
Tumblr media
Hobi: Are you excited about the charity event?
Me: Park’s going to kill it
Hobi: Nervous about getting seen?
Me: Not at all. I doubt anyone there will recognize me anyway.
Tumblr media
Closing the trunk of my car, I sighed. We were on our way to the charity meet, and Jimin was running a few minutes behind. Fiona needed to go to a shop soon and Jimin was driving her like she was going to explode any second. It was frustrating as I hated being late, but it was impossible to be angry with him. We had planned on leaving the day before the meet and getting a hotel room so we could both be as well rested as possible. 
To say I was nervous about sharing a room for the night was an understatement. Jimin had gotten a suite with two beds so I would feel more comfortable (his words, not mine), but the added security of separation did little to calm my racing thoughts. I was not planning on having sex this weekend, Jimin needed to keep his energy for the meet, but I would be lying if I said the thought had not crossed my mind more than once.
“Are you okay?”
Snapping out of my trance, I turned to find the man of the hour stood next to me. There was a large duffle bag around his shoulders, and his oversized hoodie only made him look even smaller. Smiling, he kissed my cheek in greeting. 
“Fine,” I breathed, smiling back. “Almost ready?”
Jimin nodded, “Just need to put this bag in the back. You didn’t forget any of your meds, right?”
He had been spending most of his time at my house recently and was well acquainted with my large pill collection. At first he had been concerned as to why I turned down taking medication for my illness back on Monday, but stopped questioning it so much when I told him about the other four pills I take daily. I always avoided taking extra stuff if I could.
“They’re in my suitcase.”
We were going to be in Allendale until Sunday. The meet was on Saturday, and while it was only a little over 2 hours away, I was positive Jimin was going to be exhausted after we were finished. This was an event super close to his heart and he had told me how nervous he felt about attending. Spending two nights seemed like a simple solution to deal with both of our anxieties, and even more so when I brought up my fears of being recognized and harassed. Jimin turned red with anger when I told him about my previous experiences with the news and promised he would never let that happen to me again. 
“I guess we should stop by my mom’s house on the way out,” He mused. “I know she wanted to come but she’s been really sick.”
Na-Yeon’s avoidance of treatment was finally beginning to take its toll on her physical health. I had hardly seen her at all since I came back from Colorado, and from what Jimin tells me she’s done nothing but throw up and sleep. James had told me that she was trying to stay alive long enough to see Jimin win an Olympic medal, but he wasn’t sure if that was going to be possible. I was hoping to speak with her myself and see if there was any way I could convince her to start her chemo back up again. It was killing Jimin to see his mother this way.
“I was thinking,” I handed my keys over to Jimin. “Maybe your mom and I could have a little girl’s day when we get back.”
“Why?” He chuckled, 
I shrugged. Trying to come off as nonchalant was better than honesty. I was not sure how Jimin would take my intrusion, but I still wanted to try it anyway. I loved Na-Yeon, and hoped that I could talk her out of her decision. There had been a time when I would have let myself die, too, but I was fortunate enough to have Andy fighting for me. I probably would have never walked again had it not been for her and Hoseok.
“Just want to be closer to her,” It was not a lie. I was dating her son and I wanted us to be like mother and daughter the same way I had been with Namjoon’s family. “She’s been looking a little down lately. Maybe getting out of the house a little might cheer her up.”
Jimin grinned at me, his expression soft. Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead. My chest warmed. He was always touching me as though I was made of glass.
“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” He asked.
“Once or twice,” I replied, a giggling bubbling up my throat. “We should get going. Traffic is going to start piling up soon.”
Piling into the car, I relaxed into the passenger seat and took a hold of Jimin’s hand. He chuckled, pulled away to put the car into drive, and placed his hand on my thigh. I could feel a light layer of sweat on his palms. I put my hand on top of his.
“Are you sure you’re okay driving?” I asked him, tightening my grip.
“Yeah, angel,” He replied, smiling over at me. “I’m good. I like driving.”
“Still,” I argued, “You’re going to be swimming all day tomorrow. I feel bad making you drive, too.”
“Don’t,” He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. His eyes never left the road. “I’m happy you’re here with me. All that other shit is just details.”
That shut me up. We drove in silence for the few minutes that it took to get to his parent’s house. I decided to stay in the car while he went to say goodbye. Jimin deserved some alone time with his folks, and I had sent a text to his mother this morning promising to send her a video of him swimming. All she cared about was making sure she could have a phone call with him when everything was over with. Na-Yeon missed watching him swim more than anything and it broke her heart that she was too ill to come with us today.
James waved at me from the front door and I returned the gesture with a huge smile. He had been so excited to see me after finding out about Jimin and I. James was extremely supportive and had already started to call me his daughter. I had yet to return the favor, but secretly loved it. Jimin would get so embarrassed, he’d turn red and scold his dad in Korean. Na-Yeon would watch them silently, but send me a smile and a wink when she thought no one was looking. Wedding bells were already sounding off in their heads.
I thought it would bother me more than it did. Instead, I felt calmed by their excitement. I had been really worried about the age gap between the two of us, but having our family and friends be so accepting had taken that weight off of my shoulders. 
Ne-Yeon’s little head poked out from behind her husband’s shoulder. She looked worn and had bags under her eyes, but her smile was just as big and beautiful as it always had been. Touched that she had thought to come and greet me, I got out of the car.
“What are you doing out of bed?” I teased, wrapping my arms around the frail woman.
She returned my hug with full force. It was concerning that her squeezes felt feather light. I hoped she was eating enough.
“Bodybuilding,” She joked, her voice lacking the usual spunk it carried. When I went to let go, she held me tighter. “Take care of him.”
I nodded, “I will.”
Jimin and I left a few minutes later. Na-Yeon was hanging off of him for as long as she could, her little arm wrapped around his waist as the four of us stood in their doorway. James and I never made physical contact, but Jimin always swore his dad preferred me to him. The older man was always smiling at me, his eyes sparkling brightly, and his mouth moving so quickly at times it was difficult to understand what he was saying. Today was one of those days and I struggled to pay attention to anything else.
“Dad,” Jimin interrupted Jame’s latest fishing story. “We have to go.”
James deflated.
“When you come back?” He asked me. 
“Sunday,” I replied. “We should be back for dinner.”
He smiled again, “I make daegusal-jorim for you. It’s spicy.”
I grinned. If I remember right, that was some sort of cod dish. James was always making some type of seafood since he was fishing constantly. Na-Yeon often complained about never eating any other meat. Jimin and I were always happy to indulge ourselves in his father’s cooking.
“I’m cooking,” Ne-Yeon said.
I looked at her, “Really?”
The last time I had eaten her food was Jimin’s birthday back in October. She made a huge pot of kimchi stew since it was her son’s favorite, and I remembered it being delicious. Sometimes Jimin would talk about all of his favorite foods he grew up eating, and 9 times out of 10 it would be something his mother had made him. Apparently, according to Jimin, his father could only cook fish. Na-Yeon, however, could make magic out of nothing. 
“Yes,” She insisted. “Need to celebrate my baby.”
Jimin flushed, his mother’s fingers pinching at his fat cheeks. “Mom.”
“I’ll try to get us back early enough to help you out,” I offered, checking my watch. “We really do need to go, though. Trying to beat the traffic.”
With a few hugs and a couple of kisses on the cheek, Jimin and I left. I had finally grown used to Jimin playing the radio while he drove, and I enjoyed watching him as he sang along. Catching my eye, Jimin grinned widely and serenaded me. He had a pretty voice, soft and sweet, and I felt my heart jump into my throat.
It was shocking just how comfortable I was in this car with him. Instead of staring out the window, watching the roads like a hawk, I was laughing and enjoying his presence. With the radio blasting, I opened my mouth and sang back. Jimin’s eyes widening, his voice growing more confident as he took my hand in his.
“With a taste of your lips I’m on a ride,” He giggled, squeezing my fingers.
“You're toxic,” I wiggled my eyebrows. “I’m slippin’ under.”
“With a taste of a poison paradise,” I leaned over and kissed his shoulder. “I’m addicted to you. Don’t you know that you’re toxic?”
Satisfied with myself, I leaned back in my seat and watched him sing. My actions only emboldened his own, and soon Jimin was singing his heart out in the driver's seat. His hand on my thigh moved closer and closer to my core only to slide back down when he realized what he was doing. Each time I laughed it off, but inside I was yearning for him to do more. Not in the car, I might have a real panic attack then, but possibly when we were in the safety of our hotel room.
The drive was quicker than normal. We had beaten the traffic by an hour and our impromptu karaoke session in the car made the time fly. The sun was just beginning to set as we pulled up at the hotel and Jimin was practically skipping inside. Making him happy was something I took great pride in, and my little performance in the car had made him radiant.
My chest puffed out when I caught the front desk receptionist eyed him hungrily. Her pretty eyes were unable to stop staring at the beautiful boy beside me. Hand in hand, we took our key card and made our way to the elevator.
When the doors shut, Jimin pulled me into his arms. I sighed in relief. He smelled so good, his chest warm and hard, and I could smell the faint hint of his after shave. It didn’t matter if we won or lost this event. Nothing was going to destroy the high I was on.
“I’m nervous,” Jimin mumbled, letting me go when the elevator dinged. “I know a few of the guys I’ll be swimming with tomorrow. They’re all really good.”
I nodded, “You’re better.”
“How do you know that?” I had never heard him sound so unsure of himself before. “I haven’t been competing like I normally do this season.”
“Because you’re Jimin Park,” I replied easily, the confidence in my tone unmistakable. “And I’m Y/N Y/L/N. We’ve both put in a lot of work and time into this, and you’re going to be great.”
“But-”
I shushed him. Taking the keycard from his hand, I swiped the card through the reader and opened the door. Behind me, Jimin breathed through his nose. It was a loud, defeated sound. Stepping into the room, I gestured for Jimin to walk inside and closed the door behind us.
It was a standard hotel room. A large queen sized bed was in the middle, a small love seat beside it, and a mini fridge beside the large flat screen hanging on the wall. The air was stale, like no one had been in here in a while, and I could faintly see fading stains on some kind in the dark carpet. I bit my lip. Maybe I should have gotten the nicer place Taehyung had suggested.
“5 Stars?” Jimin dead-panned, the little smirk on his face telling me he was joking.
I sauntered closer to him, hands resting on his chest, “Of course. Only the best for an Olympian.”
He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist, “Thank you angel.”
Still feeling high off of his presence, I kissed his cheek.
“I was talking about me.”
“Yeah?” He mumbled, lips brushing my own. “You think you’re funny?”
I nodded, dazed, “Hilarious.”
“Ass,” He breathed, before finally kissing me properly. “Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?” Another kiss. Then another. Then another. “It’s distracting.”
“What should we do about that?” I choked out, chasing after his retreating face. “Where are you going?”
He giggled cheekily, eyes glittering mischievously. 
“We need to eat, don’t we?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed, grabbing the back of his neck with my hand. “Fuck the food.”
He pulled away again, his face far more serious now. All of the playful lust flowing through my vein was stopped dead in its tracks leaving a chill in its wake. Fearful I had been too forward, I immediately took a step back and shied away from him like I had been burned. Jimin noticed this and shook his head, reaching out to grab my hand. I let him.
“I want to,” He told me. “I’m just not ready for that yet, and I think you deserve better than some nasty motel in Allendale.”
I nodded, my understanding of his fears doing little to dull the sting of his rejection. I knew it was not a real rejection, he had just asked for more time, but my heart ached with the memory of him moving away from me. It made me feel disgusted. Still, I forced a smile onto my face and nodded. I hoped he could tell I was okay with his request. It was only the hurt feelings that made me want to run away and hide.
“I get it,” Even I could hear the sickeningly-sweet edge my voice had taken on and hated it. I was so bad at this shit. “We can take our time. Whatever you want.”
Jimin frowned but chose not to say anything. Pulling back from him, I wandered to the tv and picked up the remote. A home renovation show was on and I knew I would not be paying enough attention to the tv to care how awful the acting was. 
“What’s for lunch?” I asked absentmindedly, trying to come across more relaxed than I felt. “I saw a pizza place on the way in if you’re feeling it.”
Silence.
“Maybe something less greasy,” I mused, already feeling myself growing panicked. “Milo said there’s a really good Italian place not too far from here-”
“Baby.”
I stopped talking and looked at the pretty boy standing across the room. He looked so sad and it broke my heart. I hated it when he didn't smile. I hated it even more when it was my fault.
“Talk to me,” He urged, coming to stand beside me. He made no moves to touch me for which I was grateful. “I know you’re upset about something.”
I shrugged, “I take rejection about as well as anybody else, and I don’t want you to feel bad about it so I’m moving on. I know we’re both hungry so I’m trying to figure out food. I’m sorry if I’m being weird again.”
He nodded, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
I reached out to hug him. Jimin was happy to take me into his arms. I loved how safe and secure I felt in his presence. I was slightly taller than he was, my body made for swimming, but he never seemed to mind. Leaning down, I tucked my head underneath his chin and closed my eyes. Breathe, I told myself.
“You didn’t mean to,” I replied. “I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured or rushed into anything.”
He chuckled, “I want to have sex with you. Just not right now. Not tonight.”
I closed my eyes, “Later?”
That made him laugh. I grinned in response. My foul mood left with a kiss to the top of my head. We were fine. There was no reason to get insecure. We were fine. Jimin liked me. I liked him. That’s all that matters.
I adjusted myself and leaned my head on his. Jimin buried his face into my neck and left a few gentle kisses on the sensitive skin. I whined in response, curling into him. Jimin groaned, the sound strained. I felt it in my core.
“Definitely,” He rasped, giving my neck another kiss. “We need to stop before I change my mind.”
I giggled, pulling away from him. If he wanted space and time then I would give that to him, even if it meant making the both of us a little uncomfortable for the next two days. With the awkward moment behind us, we started planning out dinner and I was confident in our chances at winning tomorrow. Even though it was a charity event, we were both excited about the donation money going to the hospital where his mother received treatment. Jimin especially.
After our late lunch (we decided on pizza), we came back to the hotel. I was adamant that Jimin take the day off from swimming to preserve his energy for tomorrow. His old coach (asshole) had always forced him to swim at every possible moment, and would become angry and condescending when Jimin asked for time off. I swore the next time I saw Hamilton I’d give him a piece of my mind, but knew that I would ultimately leave him be. The guy was a slimeball and didn’t deserve my time and energy.
Crawling into bed that night, we talked for a few hours while a crime tv show played. Jimin enjoyed pillowtalk and I just enjoyed his company too much to tell him to stop talking. Once it was around ten, his eyes closed in the middle of a sentence and light snores followed soon after. That was another thing he was good at- falling asleep wherever and whenever.
I got out of bed a few minutes later, my mind too busy to go to sleep. As quietly as I could, I walked out of the hotel room. Jimin did not move an inch. 
Hoseok picked up after the third ring.
“Do you know what time it is?” He answered, fake anger in his voice.
“Yeah, 10,” I rolled my eyes. “Way before your bedtime. Are you free?”
Hoseok hummed, “Yeah. What’s up?”
I groaned, embarrassment creeping up my spine. I would have preferred to talk to Andy about this, but I knew she was working tonight and would not be free. Tilly was an absolute no go, and I did not feel comfortable enough with anybody in Saline to call them this late to talk about my dry sex life. They were all Jimin’s friends first anyway.
“Jimin says he’s not ready for sex and I’m trying not to overthink it. I need your advice, oh wise one.”
Hoseok laughed, “Dude, I can’t help you. My girl is the same way.”
Shocked, I tried to remember if I had ever heard about this mystery girl before. Then, it hit me. Andy had mentioned something about a blonde girl. She must be serious for Hoseok to casually bring her up in conversation. I wonder how long he’d been hiding her from the rest of us.
“Your girl, huh? And who might that be?”
Hoseok sighed, “I know it sounds crazy, but she’s a swimmer.”
Racking my brain, I tried to think of every blonde swimmer I knew of. MacKenzie Boyd was way too young, Rhonda Yara lived in Florida most of the year, and Brittney Powell was just not Hoseok’s type. That left Opal Simmons and Tove Alfson. They both lived in Colorado, both were fantastic swimmers, and both seemed like nice girls. Opal was the older of the two, so I was more inclined to believe that was who he was talking about, but this was all under the assumption that the girl was a professional swimmer.
“Do you remember Opal Simmons?”
I snorted. So I was right. Feeling good about myself, I nodded and told him that I did. She was pretty, but I remembered thinking she was unremarkable. She had been doing extremely well this season and swimming more than she ever had before. I had a good feeling about her run at this year’s Olympics. She had always swam in teams and this was her first time doing a solo season.
“How’d you meet her?” I asked, leaning against the metal railing across from the door.
“I went to go see Ozzie and she stopped by to talk to him for a few minutes. She took one look at me, smiled, and gave me her number. And you know I’m a sucker for a confident woman.”
“So you took her to the most expensive bar in Colorado Springs?” I joked.
Hoseok spluttered, “How’d you know about that?”
“Well international super spy,” I teased, “You blew your cover. Jin saw you and told Andy. Andy told me. I didn’t tell anybody.”
The swimmer groaned and I could not help but laugh at his expense. We were always like this. Teasing and joking around with one another. A few tender moments sprinkled in between. I remembered when people thought we were a couple simply because we were friends of the opposite sex, but I had never felt anything but sisterly love for the guy. We were always there for each other through thick and thin, and right now I was grateful for his crude sense of humor. Hoseok rarely took things seriously and I needed a bit of fun. It made my anxiety feel less scary.
“We had fun,” He defended. “She’s fucking awesome, man. You’re really going to like her. Next time you’re in town, bring your boy so we can go on a double date.”
“Will do.”
We had a momentary pause. That meant Hoseok was thinking. He tried to choose his words carefully when he was being serious, so I knew that meant we were going to actually start talking about the reason I called. He was far more easy going than I was, so I was sure Opal’s timidness did not bother him at all. I was the spaz of the group only being outdone by Andrea.
“Did he say why?” Hoseok finally asked.
I told him about what had happened this afternoon and the small moments before. The way he always stopped things before they could get any further. How kissing him sometimes felt like he was saying goodbye. How genuinely upset he was by my reaction to his constant pausing. Hoseok listened to everything before saying another word.
“Maybe he’s had something happen to him in the past,” Hoseok brought up. That was something I had not really considered before. “He just sounds a little scared and nervous. Not unwilling, just hesitant. You should talk to him about it. I mean really talk to him. That’s what I did with Opal and it made going at her pace seem less daunting.”
“So you don’t think I’m doing anything wrong?” I finally asked, voicing my fears from earlier. I could not tell Jimin that’s what I was afraid of, it felt too childish, but Hoseok was used to my ever present anxieties. “I really didn’t mean to invalidate him.”
Hoseok chuckled, “I think you’re doing just fine, babe. You just need to learn how to relax and let shit happen. He likes you. He told you he wants to have sex with you directly. Don’t let yourself ruin this, okay?”
I nodded, feeling a frog forming in my throat. It felt wrong to cry right now, but it was the most therapeutic way to handle how frustrated I was with myself. I was too old to act like this. Too strong and independent. This really should not hurt me the way that it does, and yet I could feel myself closing off again.
The door behind me opened and I startled, almost dropping my phone. Whipping around I saw Jimin standing there, no shirt and a pair of sweatpants hanging loosely around his hips. Dark hair a wild mess, he rubbed his eyes and tried his best to look more awake than he felt. My heart melted, some of the stress I felt moments before lessening. He was here. We were fine. I was just being overdramatic. I just needed to breathe.
“I have to get some sleep,” I told Hoseok, eyes never leaving Jimin’s body. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Talk to you then,” I hung up.
Jimin’s eyes searched my face and I could feel a few escaped tears on my cheeks. I felt small under his watchful gaze, but the gentleness in his eyes never wavered. I stood there stupidly, unable to move.
“Come back to bed,” His voice was soft. “I miss you.”
And because he made me behave like a good little lap dog, I crawled into that bed without protest. Pulling me into his arms, Jimin held me close and tight. I relaxed and let his body heat warm me up. I had not realized how cold I had gotten and shivered. Jimin kissed my nose and got comfortable.
“Don’t leave me,” He rasped, already falling back asleep. “Please?”
I almost cried again. He sounded so lost and defeated. Maybe Hoseok was right. Maybe something happened to him that made sex feel terrifying. What it could be I had no idea, but I hoped that with time he could help me understand. As desperately I wanted him to know me- I wanted to know him.
“I promise I won’t,” I whispered, kissing his chest.
His arms squeezed me gently before there was nothing but snores and the sound of the A/C in the room.
Tumblr media
Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae
Tumblr media
© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
144 notes · View notes
linos-luna · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Our Doll ❣️🔪 (Pt. 5)
Yandere!Chan x Fem!Reader x Yandere!Changbin
(pt. 4)
Warnings: Yandere! , Smut, Obsession, Stalking
————————————————— 🌼
Our Doll (Pt. 5)
“Hey Binnie, Are you okay?”
Changbin blinked a few times when hearing your question; he didn’t even realize that he was staring off. 
“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” He chuckled nervously while rubbing the top of your hand with his thumb. He was feeling guilty. He broke the promise he made to you. Chan knew where you were and that he’s been seeing you. In fact, He was right outside, waiting in the car. And this man was patient. It’s almost been two hours and he hasn’t texted or complained once, completely trusting that his best friend will be coming out with his darling doll when ready. 
So far, You’ve had a simple breakfast and now was chatting with Changbin in the living room. It was about moving. You wanted to go apartment hunting soon and you would’t mind Changbin coming along. Actually, you grew to really like him. He gave you all his attention and showered you with love. He was also getting a little better with his obsessive behavior. It was still there and caused some issues but at least he was trying and you actually liked how protective he was. Perhaps you were falling in love… how crazy.
“Doll...?”
“Yes, Binnie?” You replied with a small smile.
Changbin felt your reply sting. You called him that nickname with endearment and he knew that.
“Y-you look very beautiful today.” 
“Oh thank you.” You said with a giggle and light blush.
“Um… there’s that new cafe that opened…” he looked down at your hand and squeezed it lightly. “I know we just ate… but maybe we could get some coffee and snack?”
“Oh sure!” 
He nodded and gently rubbed you cheek. “Y/n… You’re the most perfect woman in the world… practically a living doll.”
It was a sweet sentiment and you couldn’t help smiling. “Well… you’re not too bad yourself.”
Before he could say anything else, you leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Lets go to the cafe now.”
Changbin nodded and stood up, still holding your hand before sitting back down.
“Y/n... baby I…” he stuttered, unable to make eye contact with you. “I-I have something to tell you…”
“What’s wrong?”
“You know… I-I made a promise to you… to keep you safe…”
“Yeah…?” you grew suspicious, feeling uneasy by his tone and demeanor.
“A-And I love you!” He held both your hands tight. “B-but I… Please don’t be mad…”
“What did you do…?”
“Y/n, I love you! You know that b-but I had to!”
“Changbin…” you paused, biting you lip. “Y-you didn’t… tell—?”
“I did!” He interrupted.
“How could you?!”
“N-no! You see I had too!” He panicked as you pulled away from him. “Chan is may best friend! A-and he loves you too! He just wants—!”
“I don’t care what he wants!” You cried while standing up quickly. “Y-You betrayed me! I-I thought you loved me!”
“No no, Y/n!” He said while also standing, tears forming. “I do love you!”
“Then why did you do that?!”
“I just—… I-I—…” He stuttered. “He’ll be gentle! H-he won’t hurt you, I promise! We just wanna—!”
“He’s outside… isn’t he...?” You asked solemnly.
“Y/n…”
“And to think… I was starting to fall in love with you…” you sighed while looking down, tears rolling down your cheeks.
Changbin felt your words like a stab to the heart. You were right; How could he do this?
In this moment, he had to make an important decision… the most important one he’s ever made: His best friend or the love of his life. 
Chan has been his best friend for years! They were practically brothers. Heck, he only knew of you because Chan would show him pictures. But you… well he truely believes that you are his one and only love. His soulmate. His perfect little doll. 
After the internal argument, he made a decision… and someone wasn’t going to like it.
“Y/n—’ 
“No Changbin, I don’t wanna hear it…” you sighed while wiping tears.
“No, y/n.” He grabbed your hand. “I’m not taking you to Chan.”
“W-what?”
“I made a promise to protect you… and… I’m gonna do just that…”
You looked at him a bit confused. Why would he tell his friend where you were only to back out just now?  
“I-I love you… and I have to protect you… I have to protect my precious Doll…” He said while lightly squeezing your hand. “I won’t let him get you…”
“But if he’s outside… How are you supposed to of that…? We’re basically trapped here.” 
The man bit his tongue while thinking about it. You’re right. But he had to think of something. 
“Where’s the building’s parking garage?” He asked suddenly. 
“Basement level? The elevator and stairs to get there are down the hall, just 2 doors down.” 
“And how many exits and entrances are there?” 
“Two but either way you go, It’ll lead to the same main road…”
It was hard for Changbin to think clearly at the moment but he needed to have a plan. “How about—?’ 
A sudden knock at the door had you both jump in place; it was Chan, and he was getting impatient. 
“B-Binnie!” You yelped in a loud whisper only for him to cover your mouth before dragging you to the bedroom. 
“The window!” He said suddenly while opening and removing the screen from your window. He grabbed some cash from his wallet and stuffed it in your pocket before pushing you. “You need to leave now.”
“B-but we’re on the second floor!”
“Do your best to climb… hide at that gas station. Wait two hours and get on a bus to the next town.”
“B-binnie—”
“I’ll call you in a few hours. We’ll meeting up a-and I’ll take care of you forever!
“N-no Binnie I can’t!” Your heart was racing as you looked out the window and tears formed “P-please no”
The knocking at the front door only got louder.
 “O-okay… Hide in the closet. I-I’ll think of something.”
You nodded and hid as he went to the living room, letting his older friend in. 
“Binnie, you were taking too long.” Chan grunted. “Where is she?”
“Not here….” He replied bluntly.
“What? Don’t lie to me!”
“Hyung—”
“I’m sick of your selfishness! What kinda friend are you?!” Chan yelled, sounding quite hurt. “I shared with you a beautiful doll, and now you are keeping her to yourself!”
Now Changbin felt even worse, he betrayed his friend. How could he do that??
You could hear all this from the closet. It began to worry you that Chan was going to manipulate him into handing you over. 
Much to your surprise, he was actually quiet and you could tell just by his voice alone that Chan was getting irritated.
“Changbin, I swear to god… where is she?” He grunted. “So we could take her home….”
The younger man was silent, only looking down at the floor.
“Changbin!”
“No!” He yelled suddenly. “S-she’s mine! I-I have to protect her!”
Chan was surprised. Heck, Changbin was surprised himself. He’s never yelled back at his older friend before.
But Chan wasn’t amused, instead he pushed his friend out of the way and started looking around, going to the kitchen and the hallway closet. He made his way to your room and Changbin followed, very worried.
You held your breath as he got near the closet. This was really it. You knew in this moment, your freedom was about to be gone. Why fight it?
The door swung open and you were face to face with Chan. He let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you’re safe, babydoll. I was so worried!”
You were expecting him to harshly pull you out and yell but that didn’t happen. Yeah he pulled you out, but instead of yelling, he hugged you tight. And you could’ve sworn you heard some soft weeping. It was a little… heartwarming?
~~~~
Eventually you end up back at their house. Dinner was a bit awkward as you silently ate. You sat at the end of the table as the two men sat on each side of you.
Ever since you got back, Chan hasn't let you around Changbin much. The younger man could feel the tense passive aggression in the air. It's been a few hours since you got here and you didn't put up too much of a fight. Of course, that didn't mean you didn't put up any fight. It mostly came out in snarky responses and aversion to advances. You didn't wanna be here and it had you thinking about how to escape again.
Chan was once your friend but now he was just crazy and obsessive. He had no problem with pulling you around like a literal doll although he claimed to love you so much.
Oddly enough, you felt better being around Changbin. The younger man did promise to protect you so it made you wonder if he'd stop his friend from doing anything to crazy.
As Chan cooked, Changbin kept quietly apologizing to you and it made you feel a little bad.
"Im sorry... Im sorry... Im sorry..." he kept whispering. You did your best to comfort him as he continued whispering to himself.
"I'll keep you safe... I'll keep you safe... I promise... I promise..." he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. It had you tearing up....
It was hard to deny that the food Chan made was actually pretty good, almost euphoric. Have you ever loved a dish this much? It was a bit odd. It wasn't anything fancy and with it you just had a glass of water. It tasted a little odd but Chan said it was just their tap.
“Y/n?”
“Hm?” You managed to get out before slowly raising your head to look at Chan. It was as if time were moving just a bit slower.
“I’m so glad you’re home…” he said while rubbing your hand. “I missed you…” His voice sounded like it had so much emotion in it.
You only stared at him. His smile was very sweet and… loving. Has he always had a wonderful smile?
Changbin touched your other hand as Chan then softly rubbed your cheek.
It was hard to not subconsciously lean into his hand and you were a bit tired. You gave in and seemed to be… relaxed.
“My doll… are you tired?”
‘Oh wow, it’s almost like he read your mind! How did he know?’ You thought to yourself, starting to feel more and more delirious.
“Y/n…? Are you feeling okay?” Changbin asked with a little concern.
“Yeah Binnie. ‘M just… a bit sleepy…” you said before yawning. It was getting hard to keep your eyes open as Chan continued rubbing your hand.
“Just a bit?” Chan teased. “You seem very sleepy.”
“Hmm… maybe I am…” you replied as he held your chin and slowly nodded your head.
“Well then. Would you like to sleep with me tonight?” Chan asked.
You had a small smile as he made you nod again. It felt like you had no control of your muscles.
“But hyung—”
“I think! It’s only fair, right Binnie?” Chan interrupted in a more passive aggressive tone.
“Right…” the younger man sighed.
Chan took you to his bedroom and helped you change, which you allowed because you were tired. You started wondering why you felt so weak, but Chan's sparatic compliments quickly distracted you.
“You’re as beautiful as ever.” He said with a smile. “I missed you so much.”
This only made you blush as he tucked you in, already dozing off.
All the while, Changbin was getting antsy. He already felt guilty for letting Chan get to you but he also wants you to himself. I mean, he was the one who found you and Chan knew just how much he needed you. Chan knew that he couldn’t live without you! But right now he felt punished. Chan was with you in the bedroom doing who knows what!
It bothered him a lot and he couldn’t stop tossing and turning in bed until finally getting up and going to the kitchen. Originally he came for water but then he saw something else. On the counter, disguised as a bottle of ibuprofen, was the mystery drug.
Changbin already knew that Chan had drugged you earlier. But the man always wondered where his older friend acquired such drugs. It was the type to make you drowsy and suggestible.
If this is what Chan was planning, to drug you everyday, well then that was crazy but it got him thinking. Thinking about something that put a smile on his face…
Chan needs drugs to get you to love him. Whereas, you already love Changbin. No drugs required.
That definitely boosted his ego and perhaps he could one day get you back for himself. He wants to love and care and protect you. Changbin believes you are his soulmate— no he knows that you’re his soulmate!
Changbin took some sips of water, smiling to himself as he thought about the beautiful life the two of you will have. He just had to ‘get rid’ of Chan…
Meanwhile, you found yourself asleep in Chan’s arms. You weren’t sure if he put you there or you snuggled close to him but whatever the case, he held you tight, kissing your cheek and whispering praises in your ear. It went from complimenting your beauty to positive affirmations. All leading up to small whispering that had you make small groans in response.
“You’re never leaving me, right?”
“Mm…” you moaned softly.
“There she is… that’s our sweet doll.”
281 notes · View notes
haveateadude · 6 months ago
Text
bleak horizons iii.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ opening up it's not easy, isn't it?
warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm mention, and disordered eating (not explicitly mentioned but you can clearly see it's there)
author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ helloooo welcome to part 3!!!!!! i think this might be the last part (if u have an idea on how this can continue feel free to tell me. u can send a request or just leave the idea in the comments). also just saying, this stuff is based on MY issues and experiences with mental health, so this might not be truthful to everyone. my insta is @/starsfinder_ if anyone wants to vent or just talk :))
remember you're not alone if you're going through a shitty moment, trust me!! ik everyone says to ask for help, and even if that's soo fucking true i know some people are not listened (even if that's literally a fucking RIGHT). so, as i said, you can dm me <33 take care of yourselves pleaseee. can't stress enough how much i want y'all to know you're not alone. hi. hello. i care!!!!!!!! and i'm here!!!!!! so please listen to me when i say everything's going to be alright :)) i love youuuuuu
also, sorry for any mistakes. i'm sooo tired rn lmao
pt1 — pt2 — pt3
Tumblr media
I told you a lie, désolé, mon amour
I'm trying my best, don't know what's in store
Tumblr media
The next week, I stepped out of therapy crying. I got into the car, slamming the door.
“Hey,” Ellie says softly, looking at me with her hands resting on the wheel, her gaze full of worry. “You okay?”
“Drive.”
“But—”
“Just drive.”
“Okay.”
Ellie starts driving. I wipe my tears, feeling overwhelmed. My mother had called yesterday and made me feel like shit. I wasn't doing my best at school. Ellie and I hadn't gone out since Christmas. So basically, everything was shit. I've also had urges to relapse, and they're just not going away.
I cry. Ellie drives. This is okay. It's okay. Except that it's not, and I haven't told my therapist anything about myself yet. My mother hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and my father sent a cat video on WhatsApp this morning. And Ellie’s knuckles are turning white from how hard she’s gripping the wheel, which makes my heart ache because I know she cares. It makes me want to tell her everything, but the words are stuck in my throat, and I can't seem to get them out.
We arrive at the apartment a couple of minutes later. Ellie doesn’t immediately open the doors, and I've calmed down enough to answer when she asks, “Baby? Are you feeling okay?”
I nod, looking away. The people that I see walking around look sad.
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay if you’re not, though,” she says. I stay quiet, doubting it. Ellie nudges me with her elbow, looking for an answer. “Hey.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I know.”
Ellie pats me on the thigh before getting out of the car. I get out, too. I don't bother eating dinner that night; I just go straight to bed and fall asleep.
Tumblr media
The next few days felt monotonous. I've fallen back into my sadness, the type that isn't bitter but sweet. It doesn't make me want to relapse. It makes me want to stay in bed more hours than I'd like, takes my appetite away, and leaves me feeling nothing but numbness.
I wake up, go to work, study, attend uni, come home, and sleep. The cycle repeats and repeats, and I'm so, so very tired.
Today, I took the day off. I knew I was too tired to do anything, so I planned to rot in bed. Ellie knocks on the door, but I don't answer. I hear the door creak open and the light from the living room creeping in.
"Hey," Ellie says, her voice coming from behind me. "Mind if I lay next to you?"
"It's fine," I say with a hoarse voice. I feel the bed sink at my side, and then Ellie is behind me, wrapping her arm around my torso and nuzzling her face into my neck, leaving a kiss right there. I feel cozy and comfortable. I don't know if this will last. I hope it does because it's a feeling I've never experienced before—someone comforting me? That has never happened.
"Do you want to talk about what's going on?" she asks. I stay quiet. "I care about you. I'm worried."
I do want to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't.
"I'm fine."
"You always say that… You haven't gotten out of bed since you came from work, and the frozen lasagna you were going to make for yourself last weekend has been in the fridge since then." She stays quiet for a second, her fingertips caressing my arm. "You're not doing fine, baby."
Millions of thoughts go through my head. Thoughts I don't say. I don't want her to leave; I don't want her to see how I feel.
"I'm trying, though." It's easy to say since Ellie isn't looking at my face directly. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I blink them away; I blink, blink, and blink again. Fast.
Ellie stays quiet, her breath tickling my neck. She kisses the back of my head again, her hand holding mine. I hold it to my chest. "I know. But you don't have to be alone in this."
That hits me like a truck. I wasn't expecting to be held by her, let alone her saying I don't have to be alone. A tear falls from my eye, landing on the pillow. I sniff, and Ellie holds me tighter, not saying anything. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with her free hand and kisses my temple.
"I'm sorry," I say, in a moment of pathetic weakness. She hugs me even closer.
"Hey, no. Don't apologize. C'mon, turn around."
I let go of her hand, turning around. Her left hand cups my face and she kisses my cheek, then my forehead, and then she kisses the tears that fall on my cheeks. When she pulls away, she gives me a small smile, "You're going to be okay."
She doesn't want you. She's your friend; she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think, she'll leave.
Tumblr media
I wake up on Ellie's chest, it feels good to be comforted, I've found. Her phone is on the nightstand, so I just reach it and look at the time. It's eight o'clock. I've fallen asleep for two hours. I try to make myself more comfortable on her chest, attempting not to wake her, but my movements fail and she stirs.
"Hey," she says, her voice still laced with sleep. "What time is it?"
"It's still night," I say, closing my eyes. "We slept for two hours.'
"Feeling better?" I feel comfortable enough to shake my head. "Do you want to talk about it? I told you, I'm worried. And don't bullshit me with the whole 'I'm fine' shit, yeah?"
I stay quiet as her thumb caresses my back, "Did I tell you why I'm going to therapy?" Ellie shakes her head. "Well—back home I had some… issues. Mental health stuff related. I kept going back to depressive episodes. And one day I just asked for help from my mom, because I—I just couldn't stop self harming."
"Baby," Ellie says, hugging me tighter and kissing the top of my head. "What happened? Did your mother react well?"
"Yeah. Surprisingly. I got help. Got better. Sometimes it comes back, and I still get urges sometimes, but I can control it. It isn't as bad as it was before. But lately, it's just—yeah."
"You don't do that anymore, do you?" She asks, worried.
"No," I shake my head. "Not anymore."
"And what about the urges, do you still get them?" I nod, slowly. Ellie plays with my hair. "And therapy? Is it helping?"
"I haven't told her anything, yet. I—I don't know, I can't talk about it."
"What if I go to the next session? If you're okay with that, of course. If you still don't feel comfortable we can look for another therapist or another way to get you help."
I hide my face in her chest when she says the last word. I don't know why I've been refusing to get help. I don't know why I don't like that word. I sigh as Ellie stops playing with my hair and begins rubbing my back.
"I think—I think I would like it if you go with me."
"Okay. Okay, then. I'll go." The room falls to silence again for a few seconds. I feel ashamed for telling her. "I'm sorry you have to go through this… I wish I could do more."
"You're doing more than enough," I assure her. It's my time to hug her tighter. "You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this."
"Yeah?" She seems surprised. "I'm glad you talked to me. I'm here for you if you need anything—I mean it. You just have to tell me, I will listen… You could've told me sooner."
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't apologize. I’m just saying, I'm here for you. I've been there for you, always. And… is there something I can do to help?"
"Just be there," I say. "That's enough."
"Mhm, I'll stay."
I think she wants you, a little voice in my head says. I think she loves you, and I don't think she'll ever leave.
Maybe I'll be okay, after all.
132 notes · View notes
kooktrash · 1 year ago
Note
Fighting heart mc has a little accident at home and needs to go to the hospital (maybe for stitches?) and jk calls her and nurse pick it up and says that she’s in hospital 😌 And of course he got panicked and rushed to the hospital and even after he saw that she’s perfectly fine he can’t help but cry because of the fear and all those ugly emotions (and he thought that something big happened to her) 😭😭 And of course he wouldn’t stop gushing over her and be her ‘yes man’
oooof I missed these two idk. jk has always been the more stressed out one so I could def see him completely losing his shit while oc is like “🤷🏽‍♀️Shit happens” he def makes a bigger deal out of it.
FIGHTING HEART
Tumblr media
warnings: mentions of bl**d, oc cuts her leg with glass. jk gets anxiety from it. oc needed stitches 2.4K words.
You never considered yourself a handy man of any sort. You hate getting your hands dirty and you hate doing any sort of hard labor at all—it’ll mess up your manicure, but today you didn’t have much of a choice. You had just been lounging around your apartment all day with Jimin who decided he would come over and keep you company. Your boyfriend, Jungkook, has been stuck training lately because he’s got a big fight coming up and Jin has been really strict on him because of it. Even if he won’t admit it, you know he’s been stressed because if he wins, he’ll win big.
Jungkook has finally begun to really establish himself as a real boxer and right now he’s getting so many calls from just about anyone in the boxing world looking to set a match with him. He’s so close to being the lightweight champion and you know it’s been a lot of pressure on him so all you’ve wanted to do was show him your support and show him he could rely on you.
Maybe that’s why you decided to tackle this issue on your own today.
“You’re scaring me, Y/n,” Jimin said as he watched you stand on your kitchen counter trying to switch out a lightbulb, “If you fall Jungkook is going to kill me.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you turned to him with the huge, heavy lightbulb in your hands, “Stop being so negative, I’m very capable of changing a lightbulb, thank you very much.”
Jimin released a sigh, “I mean… if you say so.”
Jungkook was exhausted, his body ached everywhere and all he wanted to do was drive over to you, pull you into a bath with him and hopefully fall asleep after. Lately it feels like all he’s done is train with Hobi and right now he just wants to stop it all and go see you.
Of course he’s thankful for all the opportunities he’s been given in life but right now he just wants to be selfish and hang out with the love of his life without worrying about the newest brand deal—which right now, Calvin Klein has been blowing up Jin’s phone to sign the new and upcoming boxer as a brand ambassador. He thinks he’ll do it but only if he can get you signed on as well, it’s not like they would say no with the connections you have. Maybe he’ll talk to you about it tonight.
“Alright Kook, you wanna rest up tonight because tomorrow we’re doing it all over again,” Hoseok said to him as they walked toward their parked cars ready to end today’s session, “Are you going to see Y/n?”
“That’s the plan,” Jungkook said, already taking his phone out to call you, “I’m thinking we’ll get dinner and after that probably just lounge around.”
They said their goodbyes and once Jungkook was in the privacy of his car, he called you. Lately, he’s been so busy he almost feels guilty for not being able to see you. You’re so supportive and loving and all he wants to do is spend all his time with you but he’s finally doing something with his life and it’s all because of you so he just continues to push himself to his limits. He wants to be with someone worthy of you, no matter how many times you assure him you’ll love him no matter what.
You chose him over anyone else, even when you saw his poor living conditions with leaking roofs and broken cabinets. You stayed with him when you saw him lose control at an underground fight club. You’ve chosen him and he loves you so much that he misses you anytime he’s away.
When the call went to voicemail he couldn’t help but be confused, you told him you would just be home today so he wondered why you wouldn’t answer. Maybe you were sleeping or not around your phone, so he called you again just to be sure.
“Hello?”
Jungkook pulled the phone away from his ear, looking down at the screen to make sure he had in fact called you and not whatever guy was currently answering the phone, “Y/n?”
“Jungkook,” Jimin cleared his throat awkwardly, “Um, this is Jimin.”
He released a breath in relief, “Oh, where’s Y/n?”
“Um,” Jimin bit his lip nervously as he looked behind him. Jungkook waited for him to speak but the longer he stayed quiet the more worried he got. Why did Jimin answer your phone and why did he seem so nervous?
“Y/n can’t really answer the phone right now,” Jimin said, already imagining your overprotective boyfriend plunging his fist into Jimin’s pretty head, “She had an accident an—“
“What?” Jungkook hit the brakes hard, completely forgetting he was trying to drive out of the parking lot, “What do you mean accident? Where is she?”
“We’re at the hospital right now, they’re giving her stitches—“
“Where?” Jungkook’s voice dropped to a low octave as his blood ran cold. He barely listened to the hospital Jimin told him before he was hanging up and speeding toward you. He ran a couple red lights but he didn’t even care. He felt his anxiety begin to spike up to the point where his chest tightened painfully and it was getting hard for him to breathe.
Getting to the hospital all happened in a blur, he went straight to the E.R section and he knew that the nurse behind the counter thought he looked crazy.
He was drenched in sweat from training and his eyes were red, his hands shaky and his voice cracked when he asked what room you were in.
“She’s just finishing up surgery and she’ll be out soon, I’ll take you to where the friend is waiting,” the nurse said and he anxiously followed after her, biting his lip so hard that it bled. The elevator ride felt like an eternity and he ignored the nurse’s warning not to run as he searched for Jimin who sat outside the room with his head down.
“What happened?” Jungkook asked and there was no denying the panic in his voice. Jimin shot up out of his seat looking a little scared by the way Jungkook glared at him. Jimin bit his lip, “We were in her kitchen and Y/n was trying to change a stupid lightbulb and—“
“Ow!”
Jungkook looked to the room, the blinds were closed so he couldn’t even look in and the door was shut, “Oh my god, did she fall?”
Jimin nodded subtly, “Y/n dropped the bulb and I think it s-scared her and she ended up falling a-and, glass was everywhere a—“
“What the fuck were you doing?!” Jungkook yelled louder than he meant to and others immediately turned to him with worry. Jimin’s eyes widened at the way Jungkook grabbed at him and once Jungkook realized what he was doing, he immediately let him go, “I’m sorry, Jimin. Sorry… b-but, if something happens to Y/n…”
“I know man,” Jimin put a hand on his shoulder, “She’s just getting a few stitches and she’ll be out soon. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook sat down with his head in his hands, hiding himself as he shut his eyes trying to get his brain to shut up. He knows that you’ll be fine but he can’t help but imagine the worse. He’s been so busy lately and he told you he would switch the stupid lightbulb for you and just kept forgetting. This is all his fault. All of it.
The thought of you being hurt in even the slightest way made him sick to his stomach. You weren’t supposed to get hurt. He’s supposed to keep you safe and be there for you and he hasn’t been and he feels so fucking shitty because all he can picture right now is your fall. How bad was it? How did it happen? Jimin said there was glass everywhere…
How hurt were you?
It felt like years passed before they were finally let into the room. Jimin stood behind with guilt written all over his face as Jungkook went right to your side, immediately holding your face in his hands, “Baby, tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” you said with a smile as you looked down at your leg, “Just a couple stitches, nothing too bad.”
“Six stitches and a large piece of glass in her heel,” the doctor said as he looked down at his paperwork. Jungkook was hovering over you with his forehead pressed against yours, “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” You asked brushing his sticky hair out of his face, “I’m fine.”
“She did great,” the doctor said, finally getting Jungkook’s attention, “We’re going to prescribe something for the pain and finish up some paperwork. We have a pair of crutches Y/n could use but she should be healed in about three weeks. As of right now, I’d say put as little weight on her foot as possible, it was a big fall and she’s definitely bruised up.”
“Thank you, doctor,” Jungkook said and you looked at him. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked down at your boyfriend who lifted your knuckles to his lips and kissed the top of them. You could see his reddened eyes and when he looked up at you it was clear he was crying, this is the second time you’ve seen your strong boyfriend cry and it broke you.
“Jimin,” you looked to your friend, “Can you give us a minute?”
The doctor took that as his cue to go get the paperwork and leave with your friend until it was just you and Jungkook. “Baby,” you called to him once you were alone and he allowed himself to fully break down against your hospital bed, “What’s wrong? Are you mad? I know you told me to wait b-but, I just wan—“
“I’m so sorry,” he cried, tears falling down his cheeks, “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n. I keep telling you over and over again that I want to be someone you deserve and I just keep disappointing you.”
You sat up suddenly, wincing a little as you shifted your leg and Jungkook immediately looked up with fear, “Jungkook, this isn’t your fault at all. This was an accident, I was being impatient. Even Jimin told me it was a bad idea but I wanted to prove that I could do things on my own, obviously not bu—“
“Baby, you’re so strong and you don’t even know it,” Jungkook said as he sat down on the edge, careful not to take up too much room, “So strong and smart that you can do anything. I just… I should’ve just done it the first time you told me.”
“Don’t blame yourself for this,” You combed his hair back before wiping his tears away with your thumb, “And shouldn’t I be the one crying? I just got six stitches.”
Jungkook sniffled as he leaned forward and pulled you into a tight hug, “I was so scared, baby, so fucking scared that something horrible happened and I just… I just couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t around.”
Your eyes met his and to help him calm down, and remind him he won’t lose you, you kissed him. Jungkook kissed you back wantonly, hand in your hair and salty tears on his tongue, “I love you so much.”
The wait for the paperwork took forever and Jimin sat in the corner of the room watching you and Jungkook. He had been so exhausted from his training that when he rested his head on your chest, he fell asleep.
“You’ve got a very concerned boyfriend on your hands,” the nurse said once she returned, “I hear he caused a commotion downstairs and out in the hall just worried sick about you.”
“I’m sure he did,” you said in a whisper, brushing a finger against his cheek that had him waking up slowly, eyes hazy as he looked up at you.
“Alright, well just follow the doctor’s orders, once the numbing block wears off you’ll feel some pain because you sprained your ankle. We’ll do a follow up in about a week, how does that sound? Now I need the one she’ll be leaving with to sign these documents.
“Sounds good, we’ll be here,” Jungkook had your hand in his as he signed the paper with his free hand, there were crutches in her hands and she was motioning for you to try and sit up. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to tuck an arm under your back and the other one under your knees before he was lifting you up.
“No need for crutches?” The nurse asked, watching Jungkook pick you up with ease. Jimin took them from her with a thank you, “I guess not.”
“Babe, I can walk,” you tried telling him as he cradled you in his arms, “I’m heavy.”
“Shh, I’ve made guys bigger than you tap out with one punch,” Jungkook said as he carried you to the elevator with Jimin hot on your trails, “I think I’m capable of carrying my injured girlfriend to the car.”
When you got to the hotel you lived at, Jungkook had yet to let your feet touch the car even once. He helped you to bed using a pillow to rest your leg and making sure you were comfortable as he ran around looking for things you might need.
You giggled, “Kook, I’m not paralyzed, I can walk, just give me some time.”
“I know you’re strong babe but I really don’t want you over exerting yourself,” he said, “Just tell me what you want and I’ll go do it.”
“I still need the lightbulb fixed.”
“On it.”
Jungkook ran out to the kitchen, nearly crying again once he saw the mess on your perfectly polished marble floors. Once again he was reminded that you had probably been in a lot of pain and he wasn’t around. There was blood mixed with thin glass all over the floor and he went to your supply closet to get the cleaning supplies. If Jimin wasn’t around, what would have happened? Would you have forced yourself to stand and call an ambulance? Would you have called him or would you think he was too busy to answer?
The next morning Jungkook did not leave your side one bit. He called Hobi and told him he wouldn’t make it to training and spent his day doing everything he could for you.
permanent taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802faves @knudsenheggedel @skzthinker @unnatae @aurorthi @beautywine @95ene @taekookstata @lilliankoo @shescharlie @annenakamura a @lesoleile @burnahtsw @babybella337 @kooloveys @ku-ku @chaelvrx @minnie-mouser22 @Imeneghd @whoa-jo @evajeonsworld @marvelbun @sunnikthv v @kochycooky @heyhowyoudoin3 @acielelyseen @giselleswifeee @jeonjk25 @ilikeitlikethatt @bangmechanpls @lvr2seok @badbyeyoongi @jaerisdiction @watermelonjuice15 @artmsmaid @xyahrinx @angeleen777 @jooniesxbby @brillantdarling
476 notes · View notes
rwylm-things · 5 months ago
Text
Author’s note : I’m lowkey geeking that I just wrote that !! Ok ok sorry I’m dramatic and cringe. Basically I would just like to preface a few things. This fic is very unfinished, I wrote it a while ago and don’t know if I’ll ever finish. I’ve always wanted to dip my toe into creative writing but always been to scared of…..sucking? This definitely sucks though.
Despite that I read someone say on here that your first writing is going to be bad. So here it is; my god awful Jason fic. What better way to start my journey of writing than fan fiction (please be nice I’m sensitive)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLOW-POPS
Jason Todd x reader
Warnings : suggestive language
Word Count : 763
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Finally,
You immediately braced your legs for the jump out of your seat. The ancient wheels on the chair create an uncomfortable squeak. You don’t pause to cringe at the awful sound, instead waving bye to your co-workers and making your way out the door. It had been a long day. Slow, but long. You had been laser focused on the minuscule arm that counted the final hour of the shift. As your legs hurriedly moved towards the car you could feel the tiredness seep through your bones. This particular shift had started in the earliest hours of the morning, as you start the engine your eyes drift up to the colors in the sky meshing together to create an orange hue. You let a hefty sigh leave your lips. The more thought put into it, the more excitement your mind created surrounding the prospect of taking a hot shower, watching some trash tv, and falling asleep on the couch. Smiling contently to yourself, you rush home.
Well. That was the plan. It really was.
You just may have forgotten to calculate for one important factor.
Red Hood.
Red Hood, who you may or may not have started a situationship with after he had saved your life last year. Your vehicle had been in the shop and you narrowly missed the bus for that night. Despite the fact that you’d been living in Gotham for up to a year at that point, you still took your chance and walked home from work. However, luck had never really been on your side. This was an event he would continuously criticize over the next year.
‘no concept of personal security’
‘no awareness about what's going on around you’
‘if I hadn’t been there…’
‘blah blah blah blah blah’
On one hand, you found it annoying that he really believed you couldn't take care of yourself. On the other hand, the delusional part, you relished in the thought of him giving a shit about what happens to you. To be frank, maybe situationship was the wrong word. Although you two were definitely not in a relationship. If you ever did come up with some miraculous courage, you would question the status between the two of you.
You seriously doubted that he would ever commit to a relationship. While he never specifically stated it, you knew. Despite the moments of softness he would spare, ones you would deny sent a fuzzy warmth into your head. Still, it was clear what he wanted from you.
You couldn't say friends with benefits either, that would insinuate that you two were friends. That would insinuate that you know more about him other than, he likes to be on top and has daddy issues.
Anyway, not the point.
Red Hood.
Red Hood, who was casually leaning against the marble countertops when you twisted the doorknob and stepped in. His helmet hung from his fingertips, leaving his face covered in only a black domino mask.
Red Hood.
Red Hood, who currently had you pressed deeply into the couch, leaving no room between your bodies. His full lips pressed harshly against your own, his tongue seeking entrance into your mouth. Once you slightly parted your lips, his tongue began dancing with yours, fighting for dominance.
He always won.
“You taste like cherry.”
This was the first he spoke since you had entered the apartment.
“I-” you paused as he began suckling on your neck,
“I ate a blow for lunch. Well actually I ate like six. This nice old lady I helped today gave me a jumbo bag. Don’t ask me why she just carried that around because I don’t know and I wasn’t about to ask. I know that I'm not supposed to be taking candy from strangers but like she was really nice and I was starving. Now that I think about it, I probably ate like ten.”
You rambled quickly, sounding almost breathless from his lips on your neck. You swear you felt him smile against your skin.
Meeting with him always gave you a rush of adrenaline. Meeting with him always created a very specific feeling you swore you could feel run through your veins. Knowing the hands that were gently caressing your upper torso were the same that ruthlessly pummeled the worst of Gotham. Maybe you were messed up, but hey, maybe that's what drew you two together.
That being said, you were tired.
As he moved to kiss further into the crook of your neck, you rested your eyes for a split second.
62 notes · View notes
cowboydk · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
SILVER LININGS, GOLD AND SHINING
PART ONE.
Summary: Complicated was the first word that came to mind regarding your relationship with one Jeong Yunho. He was your very best friend, your other half, the person you went to with everything. He also was someone you slept with fairly regularly. If anyone asked, the pair of you just said you were the very best of friends. That’s all it was, right? What happens when the lines start to blur even more than they already are? Or when others coming into the mix throws everything you thought you knew out the window? Do you let things fall apart or fight for a new normal?
Pairing: Non-idol!Jeong Yunho x Fem!Reader
Warnings:  Strong/Mature language, sexual content (references to implied smut, sexual comments, no actual smut in this part). Minors DNI! 
Word Count: 2.4k
Genre: Fluff, angst, best friends to best friends with benefits?, idiots to lovers!!
A/N: Hello!! The first official part, yippee! I debated waiting to post it, but I was too eager and decided to drop it already. I hope you all enjoy! Shoutout to my lovely bestie Em for proofreading and helping me with this! Thank you for being my #1 fan despite not even going here! LMAO (divider credit!)
Tumblr media
Light bleeding through the curtains was the thing that awoke you out of your comfortable slumber. Slowly, your eyes blinked open and you groaned into the pillow. Too early. Way too early—at least that’s what it felt like. 
“Shh,” came a voice from behind you, the hand that had been slung over your waist coming to playfully cover your face.
“Yunho!” You yelped, swatting him away halfheartedly at best. “You’re so annoying.”
“Says the one groaning like their life is ending at waking up before noon.”
“You kept me awake until two AM to get to a new level in Fortnite. I’m not even good at it. You always carry me, Mister Level eighty-three,” you grumbled into the soft pillow. 
You could feel the deep rumble against your back with how Yunho chuckled. His chin tucked over the top of your head as his hand soothingly rubbed over your side. 
“You have fun though! You’re definitely getting better—except for the time someone kidnapped you in a car.”
“You told me to stay in the car!”
“How was I supposed to know when I went to search the bunker that someone would hop in the car, drive you outside of the storm circle, then shoot you and leave you to die?!” Yunho shot back. “You should’ve just got out of the car. Lowkey a skill issue, sunshine.”
“I couldn’t! Ugh, you’re so mean—” You jabbed your elbow back into Yunho’s gut—soft enough that it wouldn’t actually hurt him. Not too much, anyway.
Yunho let out a grunt in response, squeezing and tickling your side in retaliation. You squealed loudly and squirmed, scrambling to throw off the comforter to all but run into the ensuite inside his bedroom. You slammed shut the door and locked it before Yunho could make it inside. A pleased smile pulled at your lips as you heard Yunho jiggle the doorknob with no avail. 
“Oh, c��mon. This is cheating, sunshine,” Yunho grumbled through the door. “I’m sorry I said your Fortnite disaster was a skill issue! I’ll wash your back in apology?”
“Oh, will you now? After you do backshots on it? Sure. Not getting me this time, puppy!” 
You heard Yunho sputter outside the door, bursting into a fit of laughter. The sound made you smile—not that you’d admit that. He’d never let you live it down. 
“That was two days ago! Let it go! I cleaned you up, didn’t I?” 
You merely hummed in response, turning on the shower to answer him instead. A very loud, audible groan reverberated through the door and you couldn’t help your giggle. 
It felt like you had known Yunho all your life—in reality it had only been the last several years. You met freshman year of university. He sat next to you in your history lecture, being the first to offer you a pencil when yours ran out of lead causing you to curse endlessly under your breath. He had a shy smile playing on his lips as he extended the pencil out without a word—he told you much, much later that it was his only pencil. That was something you ended up teasing him for endlessly. It was beyond endearing. He had always reminded you of a big puppy, hence the teasing nickname that just stuck. Your tendency to brighten his day on the worst of them—his words, not yours—was where your own nickname of sunshine came from. It was history from here. 
The pair of you ended up hosting your own mini study group, party of two. From there it blossomed into coffee or boba tea runs. He told you all about his love of Valorant and Fortnite. You admitted to your love of reading, whether it was a good book or even a manga series. You often found yourself staying at his off campus home that he shared with three roommates: Mingi, Wooyoung, and San. You were practically a fourth roommate with the frequency you showed up at their home. Wooyoung joked once that you might as well pay rent if you were going to be there that much. You responded by throwing your cow slipper at his head. (They were the pair Yunho got you to wear around their house, naturally.) 
Yunho was your very best friend, you were positive you wouldn’t have gotten through college without him. Your roommate and other best friend, Eunjin, always bickered with Yunho on when they’d get to spend time with you. It endlessly amused you to see the pair argue that they wanted to spend time with you for the evening, that the other had already seen you that week. Even being in the ‘real world’ now you were inseparable with the man in question. You made it a point to see him more than once a week even as you were in the midst of trying to work toward getting your masters degree. Yunho himself had what you two had deemed a ‘big boy job’ in working for the cybersecurity department of a big company in the city. He was regularly one of the top performers in his department and you always teased that he had the big boy bucks to treat you two to your ‘friend dates’—not that you’d ever let him pay. The pair of you fought over that often, practically every time you went out.
When it came to the more complicated part of your relationship it hadn’t ever really been planned. You knew Yunho was attractive, of course you did. He had his goofy charm, kind nature, and bright smile on top of his already stellar looks. Girls regularly stole looks in his direction, flustered smiles and papers slid his way when you two went out. Though, you were convinced he was cursed when it came to first dates. It felt like anytime he ended up going out on a date, whether it was one he set up himself or a blind date that Hongjoong or Mingi set up for him, he never went past that. He always had some sort of excuse that either he didn’t click with the girl or it was awkward, that he didn’t see it going anywhere. You were skeptical, but let it go until you finally just asked one day.
“When’s the last time you had sex, huh?” Your fingers were buried in Yunho’s hair as he sat between your legs playing his PS5, on the floor while you remained seated on his couch. 
“Shit, Y/N—” Yunho swore under his breath, his attempt at building in his Minecraft world with Seonghwa and Wooyoung halted as he jolted back to look up at you with wide eyes.
“Not the government name,” you whined out, your fingers sliding free of the strands of his brown hair. “I’m just asking! Every date you go on seems to either end in disaster or you don’t like the girl. I just figured you’d be, you know… pent up, I guess.”
“This just seems like a weird topic for us to talk about. I don’t—” A blush bloomed on the man’s pale features, traveling up to the tips of his ears. 
“We’re best friends! Who else would you talk about this stuff with—”
“Mingi—”
“—and don’t say Mingi!” 
You rolled your eyes and reached down to tug harshly at Yunho’s hair. He yelped and pinched your calf in retaliation. You let out an equally as loud and high pitched yelp.
“I—” Yunho sighed, head knocking back lightly into your knee, “I don’t know. It’s been awhile, okay?”
You made a face at that, smoothing your fingers over his hair in a much more soothing motion than your prior movements. “I just feel bad. You deserve to feel good and stuff. You’re the best person I know.”
Yunho snorted softly, “thanks, sunshine. I’m sure I’ll get laid soon enough, if you’re really that concerned then you could always help me out.” He wiggled his eyebrows before bursting into a fit of laughter.
You giggled alongside Yunho at his joke, but a lightbulb seemed to go off in your mind. You couldn’t help but wonder if that wouldn’t be the worst idea? Yunho was the person you trusted the most alongside Eunjin, after all. Besides, you were going through your own drought. You weren’t the biggest fan of physical touch outside those you trusted. This would solve that. It’s not like it had to change anything. You could have fun and still remain the best of friends. 
“Well…” You began, almost hesitantly. 
Yunho’s dark eyes snapped to your face almost instantly. He blinked owlishly a few times as if he couldn’t believe you were actually considering what he was joking about. 
“It doesn’t have to change anything!” You were quick to start out with, seeing the disbelief on your best friend’s face. “You’re my best friend. There’s no one I trust more than you—maybe Eunjin, but we’re not talking about her right now, anyway! You two are the same level even, not that I trust her more—”
“Y/N…” Yunho began in a warning tone.
“I’m just saying!” You interrupted, “you and I both benefit  from this. I get pent up, too, you know. If you don’t want to then we don’t have to. I just… I don’t know. I trust you, like I said. You’re my very best friend, Yuyu. I don’t want things to be weird, so we can just forget this ever happened if you think I’m being utterly insane right now.”
Yunho looked up at you, seemingly at a loss of words. His pink lips pressed together in a thin line as the silence stretched and grew between you. You felt like you were about to claw out of your skin with how long it went on before Yunho finally spoke.
“Okay, yeah—it doesn’t have to change anything. I already like making you happy, as a friend! So… this would just add onto that. I make you feel good, you make me feel good. It’ll be—”
“—good?” You grinned.
Yunho rolled his eyes and breathed out a soft laugh, the tension finally snapping into the familiar comfort you two already knew and thrived in. 
“Yes, that.”
You leaned down and hugged Yunho around his neck loosely from behind. You dropped your chin on the top of his head, humming happily to yourself. Yunho’s large hand came up to squeeze one of your forearms gently, patting it gently after he did so. 
“So—should we like… kiss or what?”
You couldn’t help but laugh loudly, letting go to fall back against the couch in your fit of laughter. Yunho turned between your legs to scramble up to his feet. 
“What? Why are you laughing at that?!” He was now laughing at himself in turn. 
“‘Should we like kiss, or what?’ You’re such a dork!” A snort escaped you as you continued laughing, holding a hand over your mouth to try to hide the fact that you just did so.
Yunho leaned down, his hands planting on the back of the couch, effectively caging you in between his arms. He huffed out a soft laugh, cocking an eyebrow as he stared down at you. Your laughter tapered off to a soft giggle instead, biting down on your bottom lip to contain it. The tension was different now. It felt charged with the unsaid promise of where things could lead to. You felt like you had to hold your breath to not break the moment. 
Looking down at your lips then back at your eyes, Yunho cocked an eyebrow in a silent request. You managed a tiny nod in response, eyes fluttering shut as he started to move forward. The few seconds between your confirmation felt like they lasted an eternity. Finally, you felt a pair of soft lips press firmly to your own. It immediately sent your head spinning in a way you couldn’t quite explain. Your hands slid up Yunho’s biceps, arms wrapping loosely around his neck to press further into the kiss. His lips moved against your own as you two languidly kissed. There was a heat beneath it, but no rush. It was… nice, really nice. 
Your lips parted the moment you felt Yunho’s tongue swipe against your bottom one. A soft groan escaped you with the new feeling, your tongues sliding messily against one another. One hand buried in the locks of the man’s hair, tugging lightly. He groaned instantly, teeth catching your bottom lip and pulling before he broke the kiss off. You were both panting softly in an attempt to catch your breath. 
“Well,” Yunho began roughly, licking his lips, “it’s either I eat you out here or up in my bed. Dealer’s choice.”
You snorted loudly, hand loosening its grip from Yunho’s hair to instead slap over your mouth to try to muffle the laughter. Yunho grinned brightly, immediately moving to unhinge your hand from over your mouth.  
“You’re so cute when you snort, don’t hide.”
“Oh, whatever!” You huffed, pushing playfully at Yunho to make him stand up straight. “I can’t believe you just said ‘dealer’s choice’ to where I want you to eat me out. I shouldn’t be surprised, though.”
“What? I’m being a gentleman! I should warn you though that San and Wooyoung will probably be coming back from the gym within the hour.”
“Bedroom it is!” You said quickly, standing and grabbing Yunho’s hand to drag him up the stairs. 
The rest, as most would say, is history. Well, Wooyoung would probably say it was the start of your descent into absolute idiocy, but you digressed. He locked himself out of the house more than once so you thought it was the other way around. The sleepovers you had with Yunho that were just casual and more often than not with you two being tangled on the couch ended up with you two just sleeping in his bed instead. Showers were shared and you were way more comfortable with him than you were prior—if that was even possible. 
You two were still the very best of friends and you were beyond comfortable with the dynamic you had settled into months later. (Teasing comments from your friends aside—Wooyoung especially.) You knew that after your shower you and Yunho would have a late breakfast before he inevitably convinced you to either try Valorant or play Fortnite with him. This had been your new norm for awhile now and you wouldn’t change it for anything. 
(Right? Right!)
Tumblr media
53 notes · View notes
perzawa · 1 year ago
Text
BEFORE I LET GO | 2.2K
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
OCT 5TH: AGE GAP
kinktober masterlist
♡ toji fushiguro x fem! reader
relationships are hard enough when there are no stakes, but it’s even harder when you’re dating your best friend’s father. you never expected things to get more difficult than that, but when you only have 24 hours before you’re on the other side of the world, you can’t help but wonder if such a relationship can even last.
♡ warnings/tags! toji is like early 40’s here and the reader is like early 20’s, toji is megumi’s dad, reader is studying abroad, public sex, sex in the woods lol, unprotected sex, fingering, kinda angsty but not toooo bad
Tumblr media
“C’mon, relax.”
Your eyes are still stuck to the car floor, nails lightly scraping your skin as your boyfriend's words kind of wash over you. Tomorrow, you'll be miles away from him for what feels like forever, and it's all you can think about. You try to hold off on the waterworks until you're on the plane or, better yet, not in the same room as Toji, but the reality of being apart hits you hard.
Trying is pointless now, so you give up. You chew your lip as hot tears silently make their way down your cheeks, and you attempt to distract your mind. Your stomach's in knots, your head's pounding from all the stress you've been wrestling with. God, you weren't prepared for this. Breathing feels like a neverending chore, and you’re fucking sick of it. Feels like you’ve been on a rollercoaster and you might vomit any minute now. Just when you're lost in that sensation, Toji's fingers on your thigh draw you back until you’re focused on him.
He stole a glance at your pitiful state and scowled. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. Stop.”
He's shattered, just like you. Despite his efforts to hold it together and keep you grounded, there's something in you that senses he's crumbling on the inside. You nod, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry," you groan, smacking your palm against your forehead a few times. "I’m just scared. I'm so damn scared, Toji, I don't know what to do."
You remember being so excited when the topic of studying abroad first came to your mind. Having been sheltered most of your life, you figured it was time to get out there and go a little wild once you graduated, but you never expected to fall in love along the way.
Especially not with your best friend’s father.
Right now, you should be with him. Both of you should be smoking in his room and flipping through pictures of you both in middle school, but instead, you’re with his fucking father. It’s almost sick to you how big of a secret you’ve been keeping from your closest companion, but you knew it’d kill him if he ever found out about your relationship—and it’s not like you blamed him either. If you’d been close to someone for this long and you found out she was fucking your father, you know you’d raise hell so this was no difference.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, baby,” he said, cutting the silence with his deep voice. “Just tell me what’s going on up there, pretty girl.” He kept his eyes on the road, steering with one hand while the other stayed solid on your thigh. For as long as you’ve known the man, he’s always been a stoic man who never had an issue with staying calm, but the grip he had on the wheel was a new side of him.
After a while, you spoke with a meek and broken voice. "I just... God, I don't want to leave you. You understand that, right?" You gazed out of the window, watching as Toji navigated through a path in the dark forests of your city. It was the last time you'd be able to visit your spot for a few years. "And Megumi, too. I feel like such a bitch for what I'm doing to him, Toji. I shouldn't... we shouldn't be doing this."
He just stayed silent, pulling into a parking area not too deep in the forest. Once he stopped the car, he breathed out a heavy sigh before hanging his head for a minute to think, retracting his large hand from your thigh. “Fuck, I know. I know how you feel, I do,” Toji started, shutting his eyes tight. “I know because I feel the same. But there’s nothing wrong with you falling in love with someone, is there? Father or not, it shouldn’t matter.”
“Maybe, but you know how this looks for us…” You looked into his dark green eyes, the shining jade pigment sending a wave of relief through your tired body. The vibrant hue held a deep, almost mystical quality, reminiscent of emeralds bathed in sunlight. Flecks of darker green and hints of gold danced within, creating an intricate pattern that seemed to shift with every blink. He’s so fucking beautiful. You couldn’t begin to comprehend just how much you’d miss seeing him every night. How much you’d miss sneaking around and kissing those beautiful scarred lips. There was nothing okay with falling in love with your best friend’s dad, but you couldn’t help it. You never asked for this.
Toji nodded, his gaze focused on you. “I know, but let's not dwell on this anymore,” he murmured, his hand gently squeezing your arm. “Tonight, I just want us to be together peacefully, okay? We can tackle the tough stuff another time.” With that, he left the car, walking over to your size to let you out as well.
Your last night together.
The least you could do was let it be peaceful. The walk to your favorite river was painfully slow, consisting of you trudging behind Toji and dragging your feet almost slothfully. The only light illuminating your path was the soft glow of the moon, making it a little difficult to find your way in the beginning but you soon found yourself standing in front of a steep river. Memories of your first night here with Toji resurfaced, causing a small grin to twitch on your face. It was a night for a lot of firsts. Your first kiss, your first time… it was an easier time.
Everything seemed so simple then.
Toji sat by the river, stretching his legs until his shoes nearly touched the dark, glowing water. He glanced up at you, observing as you settled down beside him, crossing your legs. A soft sigh escaped you as you gazed ahead, tuning in to the gentle flow of the water. You yearned to be like the river—serene, a graceful body of water simply existing peacefully. No struggles or worries, just living.
“Fuck, baby,” Toji finally groaned, playfully bumping his shoulder into yours. “I’m gonna miss you so much. You better call me every day,” he demanded, a small grin stretching on his lips despite the inner turmoil he was still feeling. No matter how lonely he’d be without you, all he wanted was for you to achieve the dream you’d been thinking about for years now. It was time for you to break free from the cocoon your parents had trapped you in and live a little.
“You better not start getting too friendly with other girls,” you teased, narrowing your eyes at him. At that, Toji laughed hard before smashing his lips against your soft ones. He let out a gentle noise, his hand reaching to squeeze your waist before he hesitantly pulled away.
“Doesn’t matter if you’re gone for two years or two decades. You know you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easily.” He clasped your hand, giving it a tight squeeze before pressing it gently to his lips, his rough scar grazing your skin. Regardless of the complexities in your relationship, the thought of living without him was unimaginable. He wasn't just Megumi's father anymore; he belonged to you. The distance of the ocean couldn't alter that.
“Besides,” he continued, pulling you into his lap. “We’ll always have holidays, won’t we? This isn’t over. We aren’t over.” His lips were on you moments after, moving in a slow but messy harmony. Small grunts escaped you both as his tongue forced itself into your mouth, tangling with yours. Strings of saliva began escaping, dripping down your chin and neck - but you didn’t care. You couldn’t. It would be like a million eternities before you were able to feel him against you like this again.
Finally, you pulled away, your bottom lip glossy with his saliva as you panted softly. Tomorrow, you’d be in a place making your way across the ocean for two whole years.
You only had tonight.
“Right here, Toji,” you started, quickly pulling your shirt over your head before you finished explaining. “Need you right now. We don’t have long, so just… just take me now,” you rushed, pressing kisses to his neck and lips.
You lay down on the grass, pushing your skirt up to expose your black panties, body aching for his gentle touch. Toji wasted no time in getting your panties down to your ankles and then to the ground, his thick fingers pressing against your clit. He sighed, dragging the tip of his middle and ring finger through your slick folds, starting from your clit and then down to your entrance.
Slowly, he eased those fingers inside, burying them as deep as he could before pulling them out, witnessing how soaked you were. “I bet she’s gonna miss me the most, huh?” He asked rhetorically before slowly thrusting his slick-coated digits into your heated depths, listening for every moan and whimper you blessed his ears with.
“Yeah… don’t know what I’m gonna do without your tongue or fingers,” you rasped, rolling your hips as he pumped his hand inside, moving down to lick and kiss your sensitive neck. He continues moving against your bumpy walls, his darkened eyes watching you in the moonlight. You were always such a wreck for him and so easily too.
His fingers suddenly curled his fingers upwards, pressing into that spongy spot that you both loved so much. With trembling legs, you began subconsciously attempting to close your thighs but he wouldn’t allow it. It was embarrassing hearing your own soaked pussy being fingered and it was showing too. Your cheeks and body felt even hotter now, making you turn your head away from him. Your back arched off the ground as you began twitching around him, a wave of heat filling your lower abdomen as you began to get closer.
Closer…
“Oh, no,” Toji teased with a chuckle as he quickly retracted his soaked digits, sucking your juices from them without caring about how dirty the action was. “When you cum, I wanna feel it.”
You pouted, perching yourself on your elbows. “Asshole.”
Toji only smirked, unzipping his black jeans slowly before pulling his hardened cock out. He hissed from the feeling of his fingers on his neglected cock, squeezing his length in an attempt to replicate how you’d feel around him. It was almost too much now; The ache between your legs, the tears still threatening to fall from your eyes, and the way your boyfriend felt as he began sliding inside of you
He groaned, bottoming out against your cervix with practiced ease. His cock was throbbing inside of you, making it difficult for you to not cum on the spot. His hands found their way to your hips, his nails sinking into your skin as he began thrusting inside. He dragged his cock against your soaked walls, setting a slow, but deep pace. Embarrassment is clear on your features from the way your body reacts to him so perfectly. Like even your body knows you are his now and forever. He pulled out almost completely before pushing back in, intoxicated by the sounds of your moans. “Oh, baby, fuck,” he whispered with a rough voice as he threw his head back, pounding into your abused cunt even harder. “You feel so fuckin’ good… gonna miss this pussy so much.”
The sound of his hips meeting yours made him twitch inside of you again. “But she’s all mine, right? This cunt,” he rasped, emphasizing his words by pulling out and thrusting into you roughly. “belongs to me. Say it.”
“All yours, Toji. Don’t want anyone else,” you cried out into his neck as his fingers pinched your sensitive clit, dragging a loud moan from the depths of your throat.
“There you go, pretty girl. Give it to me. Show me how much that pretty pussy belongs to me,” he praised, taking your button between his fingers as he stroked it, coaxing an orgasm from you. It wasn’t long before his heavy balls were tight and sensitive, revealing how ready he was to finally pump his seed inside of you.
With a loud moan, you came hard around his cock, your pussy tightening on him so much, you almost pushed him out. His eyebrows furrowed as he focused on his own orgasm, basking in the way you gripped his cock like your pussy couldn’t possibly live without it ‐ like you were fucking made to be fucked by his cock. He thrust inside of you a few more times, his strokes lazy and uncoordinated as he finally spilled his hot, white liquid all over your bumpy walls.
“Making a mess all over my cock,” he growled, burying himself to your hilt before pulling out, denying you the feeling of fullness. He collapsed beside you, both of you panting, sweating messes. There was nothing scarier than losing the one man you truly loved, but if your relationship was meant to be, you knew it’d last. “Such a good girl…”You turned your head to look at his barely visible state with a gentle smile.
Everything would be okay because you were his and he was yours.
303 notes · View notes
stormblessed95 · 3 months ago
Note
Okay so I’m on my fourth watch of the travel show
It gets better the more you watch, they are just so much fun
They have me smiling from ear to ear the whole way through
I know there is a lot of conversation about the car conversation but seriously, apart from Jungkooks beautiful ‘finally’ (and I’m glad that is in English so we hear it without mistranslation), what struck me upon this watch, is that he could actually mean them being in content together. 
Hear me out, but the kid spent the better part of the first half, and even to a degree still asking in the later half, of 2023 begging to go live with Jimin, inviting him over on lives. Including the bed begging live days after this filming, and now I’m framing it that he was probably thinking they have filmed this show, why can’t they have a live? I know that the show wasn’t going to be aired straight away but I can totally see him going with that thought. 
But it just struck me, he’d been asking and probably denied so many times, whereas Jimin had gone live with Yoongi and Hobi etc during work promotions, but denied JK. This was his olive branch, his two birds one stone, a trip for them to spend time together when free, but also for them to be alone in content (albeit airing a year later atp). If we remember too that they could not leave SK without work and a permit, the chicken and egg, hence the show. Jimin had the time at that point to plan it with the company, it makes sense he pushed it, though I’m sure Jungkook was involved too. 
People are moaning about Jungkooks attitude and they are so wrong and miserable, not to mention they misunderstand him. They guy is glowing with his Jimin, he’s being cheeky and kids around and it’s so beautiful to see it. To see their dynamic, as they are. 
Seeing them say they hasn’t planned another trip in NY, and the Forbes article said this too, they must have thought it a success enough to plan jeju and so on. I think a post from another blogger here also helped frame this for me, bc at the end of the day they talked about and proposed the show, just the two of them, to the company and needed a deliverable product. This involved planning to a degree, scouting locations and a vague idea of activities. They definitely had more freedom than Bv, and they had to rely on their natural chemistry, which is there in spades, but they still had to deliver/ this is where Jimins panic comes in when he is sick, bc he has to power through to make the show work, hence the are you sure? It’s so logical when I think about it all in that framed way. 
And mainly I think this also because they do not present as people who had had a falling out, or massive distance, or had issues, or something more ridiculous people are proposing. I mean logically do we really think Jimin (sensible Jimin) would even think it a good idea to do this if there was bad blood or feelings. Exactly, he would not.  There was no tension there, not that I saw anyway. They just vibe with each other. They present as pretty domestic, in tune and loveable goofballs. 
Also when you think about MS application being a month after this, they had to have seen and spoken to each other, it’s a complete reach to think they didn’t. Also, it’s their habit, Jimin literally said the same sentence in the very brief restaurant scene, that JK says to him in the doc and we know that was a complete fib. Also I feel the way JK looks at the camera in that scene and in the hand holding scene is very telling about how he felt around the cameras at first, especially when Jimin touches his throat, like he hesitated. 
I also hold in mind that at the end of the day we got about 5/10% of their time on screen, the rest is on the cutting room floor, and also probably not even filmed (esp given Jimins condition). Leaving them plenty of time for them. 
Just my thoughts. 
.
Tumblr media
42 notes · View notes
bigtreefest · 4 months ago
Text
Chapter 7: Help the Bear
From: The Rainmaker Series
Tumblr media
Pairing: Mob! Steve x Forensic Scientist! Reader
Summary: “If you ever see me fighting in the forest with a grizzly bear, help the bear, cuz that bitch gon’ need it.” Usually, you’d say this phrase describes you. You’re tough, and your enemies are the bear, but you might be more fragile than it seems. You might have to put aside some of your issues for the night, in favor of helping a friend.
Word count: 6,722
Content/warnings: Swears, punching, anger, deception, mob themes, crying, yelling, broken promises, mood swings, pet and nicknames, nice Bucky???, everyone lowkey walking on eggshells around decks, high stress, kidnapping, a bar fight, mentions of knives, misogyny
Author’s Note: I feel like this is a long awaited climax which lines up with Ch. 10 of YCMBWH and Ch. 3 of Handiwork. Anyway, I’m very excited for you to read it. I’d appreciate your feedback in all forms!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
< Prev | Series Masterlist | Next >
Tumblr media
It was early Saturday morning when you stood outside of your apartment building, waiting for Gio to pick you up like you had instructed Steve. He’d sent you several calls and texts since, but you stayed radio silent, until finally, it all stopped. You didn’t have doubt, though, that he’d come through, and you wouldn’t have to drive that distance in your current state. The chance of a crash was far too high. Hm, maybe you should’ve taken Steve’s car then. No, no, you weren’t that mean. You shamed yourself for even having the thought.
The sky was full of nice shades of pink, orange, and purple, the air lacking the humidity that usually came with the rising sun. It was the rainy season, and had been for the last month, but for some reason, the conditions seemed almost drought-like, since Tuesday. How uncharacteristic.
You were pulled from your thoughts by a black SUV pulling up in front of your building, and tried to squint to see who was in the driver’s seat. You had only seen Gio once before, so you assumed it was him by the dark hair you could just barely make out through the tinted window. Good, that meant it wasn’t Steve, even though the vehicle had an eerie resemblance to his. The trunk popped open and you threw your bag in. You weren’t going to be there long, anyway. All you had packed was a change of clothes for the game tonight, pajamas, and clothes for when you left in the morning. Simple as that, and it meant you could wear whatever you wanted right now, which was the comfiest thing you had: sweatpants and your old hoodie, despite the uncharacteristically warm weather.
You closed the trunk and hopped into the back seat, barely having the time to get buckled as the car lurched forward and started on its way out of the city. You looked through the window at the passing buildings as they turned into trees, on the route that was becoming familiar once again.
Tumblr media
Bucky grumbled as he tossed and turned in his oversized leather desk chair, arising from the short sleep he had found there after a late night of business dealings designed to be front loaded for him to have this weekend open. He moved to stand, only for his feet to be met by something soft, that was definitely not the hardwood floors, under his loafers.
“Ah, fuck! Steve? What are you doing down there? Why didn’t you fall asleep on the couch, like a normal person?”
Steve groaned, rolling over just enough to look at his best friend above him. “Couch is too comfy. Floor keeps me on edge, just barely asleep. I deserve that. And now I’m up so we can go immediately. You’re welcome, I did this for you and your future wife.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and stepped over the lump of blond and muscle on the floor, creeping towards Sam, who actually was on the couch, while grumbling, “We don’t know if she’s my future wife. We hardly have a label.”
Bucky flicked Sam’s ear for him to rise, met with an, “ow! I’ve been up since you have, boss man!”
Bucky rolled his eyes again, walking over to the closet in the corner of his home office and grabbing his and Steve’s go bags that they had packed the night before.
“Okay, we’ve gotta get there soon. Sam, you still good with holding down the fort here?”
Sam nodded, having sat up fully, unlike Steve, who was still laying on the floor, face down. “Yeah, although, I’m not sure about our buddy over there. Stevie, rise and shine,” he sang out softly.
Steve stood after taking a sharp, deep breath, his eyes red and face puffy just barely, that it looked like allergies from sleeping on the floor. “Okay, I’ll drive my car, and Bucky, you’ve gotta go get Decks.”
Bucky stopped all movement, going still as a statue from where he was double checking the contents of his bag, before turning around slowly. “I’m sorry, what? You want me to go pick up Decks? No. Your girl, you pick her up.”
Steve’s head dropped as Sam let out an audible wince at the whole thing, before explaining, since he knew Steve had very little desire to be verbal right now. “Boss, Decks hasn’t talked to Steve since Tuesday. Steve can’t go pick her up, I think it’ll just make her more mad. And look at him,” he gestured to Steve, hair in a mess and head still pointing towards the floor as he rubbed his eyes, “poor puppy is gonna be broken if he has to see her this early in the morning. She’s gonna eat him alive. At least you’ve got Honey waiting for you on the other side. Steve sure as hell doesn’t.”
The help from Sam had morphed into something a little hurtful, albeit true, but Bucky still huffed. “If Decks doesn’t want to see you, why’d she agree to a ride from us?”
Steve shook his head, finally looking up. “She didn’t. She agreed to a ride from Gio, who’s in Italy currently because you were trying to be a nice boss, or whatever. So you’ve gotta drive her.”
In an instant, Bucky’s features grew soft. He switched from boss mode to friend mode. “Okay, okay. Just…get going so you can start talking strategy with Bee and Peter early. I’ll pick up Decks and meet you there.”
Steve gave a short, grateful nod and grabbed his bag, heading out.
Tumblr media
So Bucky found himself driving you like a chauffeur out to the farm as the early morning sun was lighting up the landscape. He was used to being up this early, and he was sure you were, too, but just in case, he’d brought some breakfast.
Once he’d gotten far enough from the city that he knew you wouldn’t try and escape once he revealed himself, he rolled down the partition. He could see you curled up in the corner of the backseat, almost cuddling, clinging to the hoodie you were wearing. It was all too familiar, as Bucky knew Bee had the same one, but the last time he had seen one of them was that time he was at your apartment and Steve had worn it. And that’s when Bucky caught a whiff. Unmistakable with how often he was around it. Steve’s cologne. The corner of his lip upturned slightly. Maybe there was still a chance for the two of you.
Tumblr media
You were pulled from your daydream by the sound of the partition lowering, but didn’t move your gaze from the passing scenery. Maybe Gio was going to ask you if you needed a bathroom break in the long drive, or to make sure the air flow and temperature were alright, but you were surprised when you heard the voice in front of you.
It was deep, and a little familiar. “So, uh… you want a croissant?”
It was Bucky. You watched as he fished around in the passenger seat, grabbing a bakery box and handing it back to you, shaking it as a signal when you hadn’t grabbed it after a few seconds. You pulled it into your lap before looking into the rear view mirror and catching his slate eyes, watching you expectantly, yet cautiously, for a response.
You looked at the label on the box. It was a French bakery. One you’d never heard of before, especially not from the list of businesses Steve had rattled off to you when you asked what all he owned. Good.
You spoke up softly, not one much for words so early in the morning. “So’s this place yours?”
Bucky looked between your image in the mirror and the road, trying to figure out what you were referencing. “The bakery? Yeah, one of many places. And one of my favorites. Try the chocolate croissant if you haven’t had breakfast yet. It’s good.”
You nodded, sighing and gingerly opening the lid to be met by one of the best smells probably ever. You carefully pulled out a chocolate croissant and took a bite, holding in a moan at the deliciousness, but Bucky could see the enjoyment on your face, no matter how brief, due to the overwhelming weight of today sitting on your shoulders.
“Told you.”
You simply hummed in response, setting down the pastry and waiting to swallow to speak up.
“So, Bucket. I thought Gio was supposed to pick me up, but it looks like Steve lied again. Why you? Don’t you have better shit to be in charge of?”
Bucky was changing highways, so he kept his eyes on the road. He had half a mind to defend his best friend, but he didn’t want to open up that can of worms when you still had a couple hours of driving left. Plus, he knew it went farther than that, and it wasn’t technically his fight. Touching on your self-deprecation probably wasn’t a good idea, either. He’d leave that to Honeybee, much better versed in seeing you like this, he assumed. But from what he could tell, this seemed far from your normal self-assured, resigned state that he quite appreciated. He opted to comment on the dissection of your sentence that mainly had to do with him. That was probably a good domain to stay within for now. “You don’t have to call me that, y’know.”
You took another bite and shrugged. “What am I supposed to call you, then? James?”
“Bucky is fine.”
You let out a dry laugh. “No, that’s weird, what are you, a hick? -wait, actually, no. Forget I said that.”
Definitely not a good idea to make a distasteful joke such as that with where you both were going right now.
You shook your head looking down at the box. “But you still didn’t answer my first question.”
Bucky spun the wheel around the clover leaf and effortlessly merged on the open roads. “Gio’s on vacation in Italy, so you’re stuck with me. But don’t worry, Steve’s already on the road ahead of us.”
Well, he did what you asked, but you left his answer unacknowledged, besides a huff as you set the box aside. So much for trying to tread lightly.
“What? Decks, sweetheart, are you mad at me for bringing up Steve?” You crossed your arms and legs, glaring at Bucky and hoping it would set him on fire, sadly unsuccessfully, through the mirror. It was a good thing you weren’t a witch, anyway, though, because Bee would’ve killed you if it had worked.
“Ugh! What is up with that!? Everyone calling me ‘sweetheart?’ You, Sam, Steve! I’m not some little token helpless woman.”
Bucky opened his mouth defensively to reply, before closing it and furrowing his brows in thought at your full statement. “Wait a second, Steve called you ‘sweetheart?’”
You rolled your eyes yet again, and decided you weren’t done with that croissant quite yet, so you grabbed the box from your side and took another bite, not bothering to swallow this time before talking with your mouth full. “Yeah, like a few times, and then Sam did when he drove me home, and you did just now. What’s the deal?”
Bucky wished you weren’t sitting directly behind him, because he would’ve fully turned to look you in the eyes for this. He didn’t realize how serious it all was between the two of you, but he should’ve, considering how enamored he was, too, with his own girl. Obviously Steve was capable of the same thing.
“Swee- Decks. For Sam and I, that’s just how we were raised. I mean, Steve was raised the same way, but…” He stopped to think for a second so it came out the right way.
“Sure, you’re right, ‘sweetheart’ is a term of endearment for anyone in our community. Any guy will call pretty much any woman that, but not Steve. Ever since we were young, he refused. Said he was saving it. That it deserved to be used for someone really special. Someone with the sweetest heart. At least for him.”
You scoffed and questioningly shook your head. “Bucket, that is not me.”
He shrugged once again. “Maybe. And maybe that’s what you try to show, but to him it is. That’s you. He doesn’t take those things lightly.”
You grumbled, taking the last bite and licking your fingers before Bucky handed you a napkin. “I had it under control.”
He smirked, catching another whiff of Steve’s cologne when your arm reached up towards him. “Sure, ya did. Hey, when’s the last time you washed that hoodie? Surprised you wouldn’t wanna use that old thing as a napkin,” he said in a playful tone, laughter almost emerging from his voice.
Evidently you didn’t want to wash it. You wanted to keep it clean, let it have this scent as long as possible. After you crumbled the napkin, you threw it up towards him in the front seat before pulling your hood up.
Bucky swerved slightly, but not enough to cause concern. “Hey, watch it. I’m in charge of your safety up here. I’ve gotta deliver us both unharmed. It’s paramount.”
You’d just about had enough of this oddly chipper attitude from him. Bucky was very obviously excited to see Bee again and you couldn’t blame him. Their relationship was honest from the start. The small tinge of normalcy you’d had for a second started to wear off again, though, as that weight began to sink back onto your shoulders. You pulled your hoodie strings tight around your face, letting the smell and the comfort fully engulf you, and hoping to catch just a little more sleep before the long day ahead.
“Okay, whatever. Fuck off, Bucket.”
Tumblr media
When you pulled up to the farm, you were gently shaken awake by someone who had climbed in the back seat with you so that they didn’t open the door you were leaning against and make you fall out. When your eyes fluttered open, though, you were met with a face you hardly recognized, causing you to spring into action and punch him right in the nose, not that hard, but also not that lightly.
The young man in flannel in front of you clattered into the back of the passenger seat, holding his nose, when you finally recognized him. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! You’re that kid who works for Bucky. Are you okay?”
He nodded, backing away and out the other side of the vehicle, scrambling to get away quickly, not sure if you’d hit him again, just based off association. “Yeah, yeah, all good.”
You could hardly hear him, voice fading as he ran into the house.
You took his words at face value, finally reorienting yourself to where you were now, seeing the green and gold landscapes and red barns outside your window. Right. Bee’s farm. For the bet. With the mob bosses. Gone was your concern as your angry face, or really more of an attempt of a flat affect came back.
You slid across the back seat, empty of the bakery box that was once there, and moved to get out of the door that was left open. When you emerged, you were met with the sight of Bee and Cherry picking through the pastries you had left behind, their nervously smiling faces lit up by the mid morning sun.
“Decks! Good morning! It’s so good to see you.”
Bee gave you a side hug you didn’t return and Cherry gave you a little wave before giving Curtis a little bite of her croissant. Gross.
Curtis thanked her with a kiss on the cheek before coming over to you and giving a bear hug, despite the way you tried to push him off. Eventually, you relented, relaxing in his hold, that of a long-time, good friend. He rubbed his hand against the top of your hood, messing up the hair underneath, before returning to Cherry’s side, grabbing his own pastry out of the box.
A small “hi” was all you could muster up to use to greet the three of them, but it was enough. You pointed over your shoulder to indicate you were going to grab your bag from the trunk, finally pulling the hood off your head and turning around. When you pivoted, though, you were only met with Steve there, your bag over his shoulder like it had been so many times before, his glassy eyes taking you in.
His voice was small and scratchy like you’d never heard it before, like he’d been silent for weeks, as he mustered up a, “Hey, Decks.”
You promptly spun back around and stomped into the farm house and up the steps, passing Bucky on the way to your usual room. When you opened the door, though, you were met with the sight of a young man sitting on your bed, ice against his face and a jolt when he saw you bust in.
“Uh, hi Miss Decks. Can I help you?” You groaned at the weird formality, but were in no mood for something like this to throw you off on such an important day.
“Yeah. You can get out of my room. You’re gonna share the other spare with Steve. No questions, okay?”
He simply nodded, beginning to grab his stuff as you stripped the bed of its sheets. He was actually complying very nicely, so you felt bad for being so assertive with him…and punching him in the face.
“So what’s your name and what’s your job?”
He stopped and looked at you, confusion and fear riddling his face. “I-I’m Peter, miss. I was assigned to stay here to help with shipments and watching over miss Honeybee. I just go wherever they say. Sometimes do tech, sometimes intelligence. Really anything.”
You nodded and hummed, pulling a new set of bedding out of the top of the closet. “So what exactly does that make you, Peter? Fourth in command?”
He cocked his head to the side, zipping up a bag, before helping you put on the new sheets. “I guess I never thought about that, but no. Technically I think I’d be fifth at least.”
You nodded along, grateful for the acquiescence that seemed to run through this organization and his kindness you were evidently not returning. With all the stress, though, you didn’t even really have the time to wonder who was number four. He finished gathering everything in his arms and sprinted out the door, across the hall to Steve’s room, before realizing there were three guest rooms and he might be able to take the last one, depending on where Bucky planned to stay. Out of indecision, he just dropped everything at the end of the hallway and went back downstairs, leaving you to lay over the comforter in contemplation. Peace wasn’t something that would come to you today.
Tumblr media
It was early afternoon when Cherry finally came up to find you, not the person you would’ve expected to do so. She knocked on your door with a sweet smile.
“Hey, Decks. I know you’re probably in game mode, but Bee thought it might be a good idea for you to come over to my place. We can pick you out a nice outfit for tonight. Eat something, maybe? It’s my understanding you haven’t had anything since early this morning and apparently, from what I’ve been told, ‘the good stuff’ is waiting for you at my apartment. And it’s no boys allowed for this afternoon. You get to do whatever you need to get in the zone without distraction. How does that sound?”
You groaned before you nodded, launching yourself up out of the bed quickly to a seated position. “Yeah…that’s good. I mean, I already have an outfit, but that’ll be good. Let me just hit the bathroom real quick and I’ll meet you in the driveway, okay?”
She nodded with another soft smile and went back down the steps.
Soon after she was gone and you’d gathered what you needed, not even bothering to consider how your bag had made it to the corner by the doorway of your room, you shuffled over to the bathroom in your socked feet and washed your face. When you were all dry, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. It was you, but it was different. Not unrecognizable, but maybe barely.
Exhaustion laced your features. Dark bags had settled under your eyes from the lack of sleep. You were in a perpetual state of puffiness from all the crying you’d kept to yourself, yet everything just looked…sunken. Like, saggy with sadness. You smiled, trying to boost your mood, make it feel like you weren’t going through hell. Trying to put on a brave face for your friend and her world. Everything this whole week was a lot, and as much as you were trying to ice out the terror, you could feel it seeping through the cracks. One final smile and one final wipe of your nose, and you were ready to go, galloping down the staircase and out to Bee’s truck where she was already waiting for you. You slid up in the seat, squeezing Cherry between the two of you, and went on your way towards town.
When you got to Cherry’s apartment, there were bowls of pasta sitting on her small dining room table that must’ve been for you. Ah yes, that was probably ‘the good stuff’ she was referring to. Cherry immediately went to the kitchen to grab bowls and utensils, handing them to you and Bee, as you took in the scent of the the still-steaming arrangement.
Despite your feelings toward everything Steve lately, the gesture and nostalgia still warmed you. The three of you sat, as you savored every bite in silence, Bee and Cherry holding soft conversation on the side and respecting your wishes until the meal was done and you felt just a little bit better. A little bet fuller in your heart and your stomach.
You didn’t have to worry as Bee and Cherry assured you that they’d clean everything up, directing you towards the bedroom where you’d found something else sitting there, waiting for you to find it. It was a record player, just like the one in your apartment. The one you’d promised Steve you’d play the song on before you’d fallen asleep to that old movie. And next to it was a stack of vinyls, some you recognized as the same as your collection, plus some new ones you’d mentioned you liked before, but never got the chance to acquire. On the stack was a small sticky note that said:
“You got this, Decky. -SR”
You couldn’t help the way a smile crept onto your face at his thoughtfulness. Sure, you were mad at him, but this was far from a cheap gesture. It was just what you needed to fully lock in, and maybe raise your spirits to get through tonight and do this for someone besides yourself. You put on a record, mood brightening by the minute, and began swaying through the room until Cherry and Bee came in to meet you.
Their faces lit up seeing your slightly improved mood, this moment acting like a brief reprieve from a day constantly growing in intensity. The two of them began rifling through the closet, pulling out a bunch of outfits for you to try, and throwing them into a pile on the bed. At least you had your music.
Tumblr media
When Cherry’s shift at the bar was set to start, the three of you drove over, you wearing a short, flouncy tennis dress that was far from what you were used to. The clothes you had packed for this evening were just jeans and a tee, but according to your friend, that wasn’t good enough, so here you found yourself in something completely out of character. At least it had shorts underneath.
You were about an hour early for the match, but the bar was already buzzing with patrons. As Cherry went to clock in, you could see the group of guys already sitting in the booth, talking in hushed whispers until you and Bee approached. Bee instantly gravitated towards Bucky’s lap with a kiss, and you were going to sit next to Curtis, but he stood up, passing you with a nod and heading straight for the bar with Cherry. So much for having a buffer.
You were left to sit next to Steve, your already nervous state making you shake and avoid eye contact, whether you wanted to or not. Bucky sat up, saying something about checking with guards and Bee followed him, leaving the two of you alone, sitting too close for how much room the booth had now gained.
You took in a shuddering breath, looking around the crowded room, seeing the pool tables and envisioning the event that was about to go down. You felt so isolated in that moment, before you felt a large, warm hand on your thigh.
“Decks, sweetheart. You there? You alright?” You looked up and to your side at Steve, the seclusion of the tall seats allowing him to be the only one who could see the tears in your eyes. Here you were, all dolled up at the hands of Cherry, about to ruin it, but that was the least of your worries. The pressure was about to crash over you and Steve needed to seal those dam walls before a flood broke out.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. Why don’t you and me take a second to go into the break room or something? We have the time.”
You simply nodded and scooted out of the booth. Steve grabbed the hat off the top of his head, placing it on yours to hide your distraught face from any possible prying eyes before grabbing your hand and rushing the two of you across the dance floor.
He’d seen most of your range of emotions. He’d seen you playful, he’d seen you focused, he’d seen you happy, he’d never get enough of that, he’d seen you mad, probably more than enough for a lifetime, but he’d never seen you quite like this, with tears threatening to spill over.
Before you knew it, you were on an old couch in a back room you had never seen before, crying into Steve’s chest as he held you closely, hand rubbing your back, and shushing you gently.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. You got this. Hey, look at me. You can do it.”
You pulled your hands up to wipe your eyes as Steve searched the room to find you tissues, dabbing away the wetness as you sniffled.
“Tell me what’s going on, sweetheart. What can I do to help? What’s on your mind?”
You tried to speak, but you were gasping for air. The farthest thing from your mind was anger at him, or the pet name. You just wanted comfort. Steve began demonstrating deep breaths in front of you, helping you to calm down until it worked. He started to blow a cool stream of air towards your face, drying more of the wetness, and rubbing his large, warm hands up your arms, redirecting your focus to the gestures. Finally you were almost fully settled and ready to talk.
“I’m just so…scared. Sure, I’ve dealt with things that were high-stress before, but never with this high of stakes. I didn’t ask to be dragged into all of this, but now the whole mess hinges on me. This entire thing. Legitimate lives are riding on me. That’s a lot.”
Steve nodded along. He got it. This was hard, and it was a lot of pressure, especially since it all came crashing towards you at once. He wished there was something he could do to fix it, to take some of that off of you, but he couldn’t. He felt like he was the reason it was all hitting so hard in the first place. All he could do was try and keep you pumped up, and ready to go for tonight. He knew you had a game face, maybe he could help you put that on so you could beat these pricks once and for all. Maybe that would be enough for him. He knew you were giving him a chance, just for tonight because Bee was mostly what mattered, and he was going to make the most of that opportunity while it lasted.
He ran his hand over your hair, pulling you close one last time and planting a kiss to your hairline before sighing and slapping his hands on his knees to get up.
“Alright, up we go. C’mon.” He held out his hand for you, but all you did was sit there and look at him confused.
“Unfortunately, you don’t have all night, Decky. Stand, or I’m dragging you.”
You must not have moved fast enough, because before you knew it, your floppy body had been pulled to its feet and Steve was slowly manipulating each part. He kicked your one foot back, widening your stance, and bent each arm, curling your fingers into fists. He moved in front of you, holding up his hands, flat and open, just like boxing practice. He bounced between his feet on the ground, shifting back and forth.
“Alright, go for it. Let’s see what you got.” You huffed, landing a weak punch against his palm, and Steve laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think so. Let’s go, Decks. I know you’re better than that. Harder. Get angry.”
And you did, you punched harder, you punched faster, and you were relentless, raging in a rain of fists, jitters long gone and replaced with a fire of fury. Fuck Cole. And fuck Lloyd. And fuck this whole fucked up mess of misogyny that threatened the livelihood of an innocent woman.
Steve grabbed your fists, snapping you out of it as you stood there, chest rising and falling with deep breaths. “There it is. Use that.” He looked at you intently, imploring you to be yourself, the confident, driven, capable woman he knew. You were back, if only for a few hours, but that was all he needed.
You settled yourself with a single breath, hands falling to your sides after you smoothed your dress and grabbed Steve’s hat back off where it had fallen onto the couch when you threw your head at his chest. You stood there with your eyes closed for a second. “Steven, do I still look okay? Bee said I have to look hot to distract these pieces of shit, and I’d hate to know that I’ve got a hair out of place. Please fix it before I go back out there.”
Steve smiled, just a little one he knew you couldn’t see, as he took a walk around you, tugging down the back of your dress and gently combing his fingers through your hair, taking his thumbs to swipe over your cheeks and fix the slight run of makeup from your tears. He gently grabbed the hat out of your tight clutch, playing with the brim. “You, uh…you want my hat? Would that make you feel better? Preserve an air of mystery and make you not have to look directly at the ‘pieces of shit?’”
You revealed a small, soft smile he thought he’d never see again and nodded, opening your eyes as he placed it back on your head, straightening it just so. He smiled just as sweetly when he saw you, actually saw you for the first time in awhile. Then, you weren’t sure what was happening as he squatted down in front of you, closing his eyes just like you had before.
“Okay, now it’s your turn to fix my hair before we go back out there. You messed it up when I gave you my hat.”
Tumblr media
You strutted back out into the bar, face stoic, and stride powerful, your skirt flowing from the speed. Steve was a few steps behind you, surveying the area to see Bucky and Bee had returned, chatting with two men by the pool table.
You clocked them as well, not recognizing the two, but seeing one in an oddly crisp brown jacket, common for the area, but usually more beaten up on the folk around here, and the other in a knitted, collared shirt, nose pronounced by the neatly trimmed mustache underneath. Far too fancy for a place like this. These must be the men.
You walked up to Bee’s side, noticing her tight-lipped smile. “Decks, this is Cole, and this is Lloyd. He’ll be playing against you.”
You simply nodded, taking a step back. These men obviously had no desire for handshakes, only giving you a curt nod as well, as Lloyd stepped away, pulling a pool cue out of a case.
You rolled your eyes under the brim of the hat. Of course this rich prick had his own cue. You walked over to where Steve was at the rack of cues on the wall, looking at each and evaluating which one looked the best after years of wear and tear in the old joint. He pulled one down, wordlessly asking if it worked and you nodded, handing him a little block of chalk.
“Will you hold this for me throughout the game? And a glass of water please?” He nodded and headed to the bar, ready to be at your service.
When you returned to the table, negotiations had already been made and Lloyd was starting. That already put him at an advantage, but it would be fine, as long as he couldn’t get all the balls in on the first try.
His break was successful. Sharp, forceful, and precise: something that seemed mimetic of his pristine and obnoxious appearance. With two striped balls in the pockets, he went for the next one, and the next one, of your favorite suit. It was bad enough that you had to play solids, but he was surprisingly doing well. On his attempt for a sixth sink, though, he missed, giving you the chance to step in.
You took a sip of the water in Steve’s hand, rubbing the tip of your cue with the chalk in his other. You took a deep breath, leaning over the table for your first shot. It was the furthest thing from your mind, but Steve, and hell, everyone around, took notice of you bending over for it. Steve’s eyes quickly averted, though, going straight to Lloyd and Cole, as they were shamelessly gawking, doing what you’d said they would, and hopefully losing their if focus because of it. Your jaw ticked. You were angry, and you were focused, and you were fed up, and you were ready to go. There was no way you were going to mess up. You took your shot. Sunk.
That was followed by four more, easy angles, at least for you. You didn’t even look at the two men your were competing against. The only other person you could see in your zone of focus was Steve, if that, mostly because he was holding the materials you needed to win. Anyone else, anything else, was the enemy. Blocked. This was about winning, just like the years of swindling this game had set you up for. Seven hits, seven successes, one left, so you called the pocket. It was intense, and your face was unreadable. You took the shot, not even looking to see it go in, because you knew it would. Instead, your face was turned towards the two out-of-place men, your lips slowly growing smug as small crowd that had gathered around the table erupted in cheers.
You dropped your cue on the table, waltzing up to Lloyd as Bee stood in front of Cole.
You pointed a finger into the expensive fabric on the man in front of you and looked up into his eyes, dark like the deepest, deadest ocean.
“A deal is a deal and you just lost. Now hop off from my friend’s and all the other businesses I hear you’ve been harassing. Aren’t you guys all about your word?”
You were taken aback by the dark chuckle you were met with. “Oh, cupcake, that’s cute. You think I got this far on my word? No way. You may have won this fool’s game, but you all have yet to start mine.”
After gesturing over to Cole, he put his hand over his chest, dramatically gasping in a mocking manner.
“Oh no. Where’d your precious cheese curd go?”
Your head whipped over to the bar where you’d last seen him, but were met with the sight of an empty stool. Curtis was missing.
At this point, you didn’t care about the scene you were about to make, because that crossed a line. Curtis hardly had anything to do with this entire situation and they kidnapped him? Fucking why? Before you could even register what was going on, you lunged for Lloyd, trying to punch and scratch at him, but only hitting air. Something had caught you in the middle of your movement, picking you up, leaving you kicking and clawing at nothing, but you still had your voice. Curtis was innocent, and like a brother to you, and he didn’t deserve whatever this was. So you screamed, flailing in Steve’s arms, you’d know his arms and the smell of his cologne anywhere, but that wasn’t really what you were focused on right now.
“FUCK YOU, LLOYD! FUCK YOU AND THAT UGLY ASS MUSTACHE!! FUCK YOU FOR BREAKING A PROMISE!!!”
Out of the corner of your eye, even as you were backed away, you could see Cole shift and hold his hands up. “I swear. This wasn’t part of the deal. I was just doing what I was told. I didn’t know about any of this.”
You knew how much it sucked to be left out of the loop, but you still didn’t feel sorry. Cole was literally trying to commandeer the farm. He was far from innocent. You wiggled and turned as much as you could in Steve’s tight hold.
“And fuck you, too, Cole!! You ruined chocolate milk for me!”
The last thing you could see before the crowd descended was Bucky delivering a swift blow to Lloyd’s jaw, followed by him grabbing Cole by the collar.
Your attention was pulled to something else, though, by Steve’s hands on either side of your face once he had set you on a bar stool. “Decks, Decks! I need you to look at me.”
His nose was almost to yours. “I need you to watch Cherry. I have to go and check on the guards. See what happened out there and if Curtis is really gone. You need find out what happened in here. Take this.”
He slipped something in your hand that you had no idea how he concealed in the simple button-up denim shirt and jeans he was wearing. “Take out anyone who comes at you that you don’t know.”
You looked down at what was in your grasp: a small throwing knife. Without waiting a second, you snapped into survival mode, jumping behind the bar with Cherry. No one was around the two of you right now, luckily, as a full-on bar brawl had broken out.
You turned your body towards Cherry, but your head was on a swivel watching your surroundings. “So tell me what happened. When did Curtis disappear? Did you see anything?”
She frantically shook her head. “No, a-all I know is that some girl asked me to pour her a drink. She had a bunch of specifications, and when I made it and turned back around, Curtis was gone, and so was she.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “What did she look like?”
“I don’t know? Kinda short, dark hair? Annoyingly fit? Now that I think about it, kinda like the female version of the guy you were playing pool against. That’s not a coincidence, is it?”
You threw your head back. It definitely wasn’t a coincidence. It was probably Lilian.
“Ah, shit.”
Next >
Tumblr media
Bonus A/N: The moments between Decks and Steve here were much softer than I’d anticipated them to be, but there are so many different ways to act under stress, and I think it means a lot that she’s not necessarily able to stay in her normal cold manner of upsettedness when there’s so much at stake beyond just her. Things change when others are depending on you.
Taglist: @evie-119 @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly @thedonswife13
45 notes · View notes
bballlvr8 · 2 months ago
Note
COVENTRY — UConn women’s basketball star Azzi Fudd knew there would be challenges when she suffered a season-ending ACL tear just two games into her junior year, but she wasn’t prepared for the snowy sidewalks in Storrs.
Recovering from surgery at her family home in Arlington, Virginia, wasn’t easy, but it was straightforward. Her parents brought her meals down to her bedroom. She could hobble up the short flight of stairs to spend time with her younger brothers. When she returned to Connecticut, Fudd was confronted by the reality that even walking to and from her car would be hugely difficult.
“Trust me, I had my moments. … When I went back to campus, I only had one in-person class but I still had class, and it was snowing,” Fudd said with a chuckle. “Even just from outside to the gym is still a 20-foot path with snow, and at that point I was kind of walking, but it was very awkward. It was just a bunch of little things that I didn’t think would be an issue.”
Fudd tore her right ACL and medial meniscus during a practice on Nov. 14, 2023, days before the Huskies played their third game of the season at home against Maryland. She underwent season-ending surgery in early December. The former No. 1 overall prospect in the class of 2021 has played just 40 games over three years at UConn.
Fudd’s days of struggling down the sidewalk felt far away though as she demonstrated a shooting drill she runs as part of her daily workouts for a group of enraptured attendees during her youth basketball camp at Coventry High School on Sept. 21. The release NBA superstar Stephen Curry once compared to Klay Thompson’s looks as smooth and automatic as ever as she moves from spot to spot, first in the midrange, then around the 3-point arc. She makes every single one — her mom, Katie, who helps run the camp, quips after a ball circles the rim before falling that it counts as a miss.
Fudd is quick to clarify though: She still can’t play. The redshirt junior still needs to clear a final set of tests with her doctors before she can participate in contact or game-speed activities at practice. Fudd knows she should appreciate how far she’s come, but the star guard feels herself itching to be back in the actual game, that last layer of limitation almost taunting her
“I feel like this has tested my patience in a different way,” Fudd said. “I feel really good and I feel like I could be, not playing 100%, but I could be doing more. But I’m taking my time and making sure that I’m perfecting the stuff that I am doing in the phase that I’m in before I progress to the next step, which I know it’s good for me. It’s very frustrating at times, but … it’s just reminding myself that I’ve been through this and I know it’s going to pay off.”
Fudd grappled with injuries throughout her previous two seasons at UConn — she missed 11 games with a nagging foot issue her freshman year, and 22 with an unrelated knee injury as a sophomore — but the pop in her knee last November was sickeningly familiar. Fudd knew exactly what an ACL tear felt like, because she had already experienced the injury. She tore the ACL and MCL, also in her right knee, during a USA Basketball U18 3×3 tournament in 2019 and missed her entire junior season of high school.
At 15 years old, Fudd remembers completely falling apart after doctors confirmed the severity of her injury. But when it happened again five years later, Fudd’s mind went straight to beginning recovery. She knew the pain she was about to experience, but she also knew what to expect from the lengthy rehab process. She came back from it once, and that gave her certainty that she could do it again.
“My first one I remember my car ride from my MRI, and I was just crying and crying the whole time. It was so bad,” Fudd said. “This one, I heard and it processed, and I was like, ‘Damn, okay. What’s next?’
“It’s been so completely different having been through it and knowing what to expect. Knowing how hard it is, but also knowing that I can handle it and I’m gonna overcome it has also been helpful.”
Though there were also two tears involved in Fudd’s last major knee injury, the meniscus tear slowed the healing process more dramatically than the MCL did back in 2019. Then she could throw herself into rehab almost immediately, but she spent weeks after surgery in Arlington unable to put any weight on the leg. Fudd said her saving grace during the early days of recovery was her family, so much so that it made her transition back to UConn for the spring semester more jarring than she expected.
“I was home for like a month, and first of all, I hadn’t been home for that long since probably COVID,” Fudd said with a laugh. “But they were everything I needed. My brothers, my parents, even my grandma who could barely keep herself together, they were all helping me with everything I needed … Going back to school was really rough for me. I didn’t realize how much my family was doing for me, and just the ease of going to see my PT guy and home and then coming home to get in my bed.”
But Fudd quickly found a new form of comfort in a band of teammates who were also grappling with the heartbreak of season-ending injuries and the grueling work of rehab. The team was fully healthy on the day Fudd tore her ACL except for redshirt freshman Jana El Alfy, who ruptured her Achilles at the FIBA U19 World Cup over the summer. By the time Fudd returned to campus in January, there were three more players sidelined for the year: Caroline Ducharme with head and neck spasms, Ayanna Patterson after patellar tendonitis surgery and Aubrey Griffin with her own ACL tear.
“I had an entire squad of injured people with me on the bench, which obviously is not what you want, but it was nice to know I wasn’t alone,” Fudd said. “I couldn’t imagine being the only injured person. Like we had our crippled powwow before games where we were just like man, we’re not playing. It could be the Final Four or some random Big East game, and we’re not out there. Just being able to feel that and be vulnerable with other people experiencing that goes a long way.”
thanks anon 💞
29 notes · View notes