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Secrets to the Keys of Paradise

إِنَّهُ مِن سُلَيْمَانَ وَإِنَّهُ بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّ‌حْمَـٰنِ الرَّ‌حِيمِ ٣٠

27:30 Inna hu min Suleiman wa inna hu Bismi Allah ar Rahman arRaheem (Quran, Surat An Naml (The Ant) 27:30)

Art from Doy Art

From The Teaching of Mawlana Shaykh Hisham al Qabbani & Shaykh Sayed Nurjan Mirahmadi

عَلَيْهَا تِسْعَةَ عَشَرَ. وَمَا جَعَلْنَا أَصْحَابَ النَّارِ‌ إِلَّا مَلَائِكَةً ۙ وَمَا جَعَلْنَا عِدَّتَهُمْ إِلَّا فِتْنَةً لِّلَّذِينَ كَفَرُ‌وا لِيَسْتَيْقِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ وَيَزْدَادَ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِيمَانًا ۙ ٣١

“Over it are 19.” “And We have set none but angels as Guardians of the Fire; and We have fixed their number except as a trial for Unbelievers, in order that the People of the Book may arrive at certainty {Yaqeen}, and the Believers may increase in Faith…” (Quran, Surat Al Muddathir (The Cloaked One) 74:30-31)

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْم

19 Letters that hold all realities:

م ح م د

ح سي نح س نف ا ط م ةع ل ي

Everything has a secret, and every secret has a key, and

the key to A’udhu bi’llahi minash Shaytanir rajim is

Bismi Allahir Rahmanir Raheem.

It means that I am asking the Divine to protect me from evilness and everything that is preventing me from entering that Divine Presence. When we say, “A’udhu billa…” we are asking to seek refuge in Allah, our Creator. But the Creator is not the police. If your car breaks down on the side of the road you may pray to God for help, and God is the one inspiring the police to come rescue you, but you wouldn’t say that God Himself is going to come down on His throne and appear before you. That is a superficial, material understanding of the Creator.. That is why Sufism comes to raise our spiritual understanding and to introduce Heavenly secrets onto our soul, like throwing seeds upon fertile soil. We may not understand their purpose or their meaning, but in time these seeds will blossom and we will eat from those fruits.

O you who believe, Believe! It is a tremendous blessing, and we pray that one day we will be granted a full comprehension of just what these masters have given to us as their students. We are students in a very prestigious spiritual university known as Naqshbandiatil ’aliya, the Most Exalted Naqshbandi Order. If we are finding ourselves to be present here, it is because our Creator wants us to learn from His ‘arifeen, from His Gnostics. Through their spiritual connections, the ’arifeen (gnostics) have been granted Heavenly knowledge that people have not heard or read before, because it is not knowledge from books. It is the way of the heart, and if the heart is open its capacity for such knowledge is infinite. From their spiritual connection with the Divine Presence, these saints understood that the only way to enter into that Heavenly Kingdom is through the love of Sayyidina Muhammad (s).

Today, many people are asking, “Who is Sayyidina Muhammad (s)?” And the reply comes that the reality of Sayyidina Muhammad (s), and the honor and majesty which has been dressed upon Sayyidina Muhammad (s), is something indescribable. He is the one who was granted to intercede for all creation. The one who traveled beyond the seven Heavens, beyond where any angel has ever traveled, to a station of “two bow-lengths or nearer” فَكَانَ قَابَ قَوْسَيْنِ أَوْ أَدْنَىٰ ٩ (Quran 53:9) to the Divine Presence. He is the one who was created for the purpose of revealing the Holy Qur’an – God’s ancient, uncreated speech, which contains every knowledge of every creation from the beginning of time until the end of time, and which emanates from God’s Ocean of Power, known as Bahr ul Qudra بحر القدرة. It means that the Holy Qur’an is the source of power for all of creation; a power which nothing could contain except the heart of Sayyidina Muhammad (s).

لَوْ أَنزَلْنَا هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ عَلَىٰ جَبَلٍ لَّرَأَيْتَهُ خَاشِعًا مُّتَصَدِّعًا مِّنْ خَشْيَةِ اللَّهِ وَتِلْكَ الْأَمْثَالُ نَضْرِبُهَا لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ “Had We sent down this Qur’an on a mountain, verily, thou wouldst have seen it humble itself and cleave asunder.” (Al Hashr (the Exile) 59:21).

Divine is saying, “if We had revealed this to the mountain it would be Khashia, it would be dust!” To give a greater understanding, Mount Everest has an approximate mass of 3.041409×105kg, something very difficult for the mind to comprehend. If Mt. Everest would be rendered dust from that power, what do you think of the one who is carrying that power? It means that we are not really understanding who Sayyidina Muhammad (s) is. He is a human being, but he is nothing like you or me. We cannot even compare a prophet with that reality. Sayyidina Muhammad (s) was able to receive the power behind all creation through his physical being! That is why God says,

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ ٤ 68:4 “Truly, thou (O Muhammad!) are of a sublime nature” (Al Qalam (the Pen) 68:4).

Prophet (s) never said anything from his own will.It means that he has no will of his own, no ego. He is the example of perfect submission to Divine Will, and it was something so special that Sayyidina Isa (as), Jesus Christ, said to his disciples, “there is someone coming after me who will not speak from his own desires, but will only speak what his Lord commands him to speak.” Therefore, when you are seeking to approach the Creator, there is a protocol involved that saints want us to understand. Everyone is seeking to approach God, but who can approach that power? We cannot approach; we would be fried. The only one who was granted that ability was Prophet (s). Therefore, you can only approach that Divine Presence through light of Prophetic Reality. If you are dressed from the Muhammadan Reality, you will be granted access, but if not there is no access. That is why we say La illaha ill Allah Muhammadun RasulAllah. We say it, but do we know what it means?

Divine is saying, “you can only approach Me, you can only approach the ocean of La illaha ill Allah through Muhammadun RasulAllah.” He even honored Prophet (s) by connecting His Divine name Allah with Rasul, Prophet’s (s) name – RasulAllah. It means that the only way to Allah is through the Rasul of Allah.

When we understand that reality of Prophet (s), it begins to open many secrets. When we ask for protection from evilness, Mawlana Shaykh is now teaching us to clarify our intention. Who are you asking to provide that protection? When you are asking for Allah’s protection from evilness you say, A’udhu bi’llahi minash shaytani’r rajim, Bismillahi’r Rahmani’r Raheem. اَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْم

But if you look, you will notice that in a’udhu bi’lla اَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ Alif ا is attached to the BA ب , Bi means in. It is a clue that Allah is saying, “Don’t think you can come directly to me! La illaha ill Allah لَا اِلّهَ اِلَّا اللهُ means there is no one in that ocean except Allah Almighty, and he has put someone in front of Him as His representative: Muhammadun RasulAllah. Therefore, the ocean you are going to is not Allah, la sharik la – there is no partner with Allah. The owner of the ocean you are going to is Sayyidina Muhammad (s). Then, the people of realities begin to teach us that there are certain keys that will open our hearts to a greater understanding of the Heavenly Kingdom. When you say A’udhu bi’llahi min ash shaytani’r rajim اَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْمِ, in whose name are you seeking refuge? And the reply comes: Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْم. Who is a description of Rahman رَحمَن and Raheem رَحِيم ? Sayyidina Muhammad (s). Those attributes are manifesting and flowing through the heart of Prophet (s).

وَمَا أَرْ‌سَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَ‌حْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِينَ ١٠٧ 21:107 “And We have not sent you [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to All the worlds.” (Al Anbiyaa (The Prophets) 21:107)

It means we must move through the three levels of obedience outlined in Holy Qur’an:

.أَطِيعُواللَّه وَأَطِيعُوٱلرَّسُولَ وَأُوْلِي الْأَمْرِ مِنْكُمْ… “...Atiu Allah, atiur Rasul wa ulil amri minkum.” “Obey God, obey the Prophet and obey those in authority” (Al Nisa (The Women) 4:59).

Don’t think Allah’s hand is coming like a security guard to protect you. Who is His lawmaker and lawgiver? Who is his khalifa (representative)? Sayyidina Muhammad al Mustafa (s), the conveyer of Holy Qur’an. When the Divine speaks, He does not speak to creation or the angels, He says to Sayyidina Muhammad (s) “Qul, Ya Muhammad!”, and Sayyidina Muhammad (s) speaks on behalf of the Divine to all of creation. No prophet and no angel has even seen God. There is no one who has ever seen God except Sayyidina Muhammad (s). Therefore, the reality of Prophet (s) is beyond our understanding. He is God’s Beloved. He is God’s representative to creation, and because of that honor the saints focus their love on Prophet (s) and constantly send blessings and salutations on him.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيماً. ( سُوْرَةْ اَلْأَحْزَابْ ٥٦:٣٣ “Undoubtedly, Allah and His Angels send blessings on the Prophet. O you who believe ! Send upon him blessings and salute him fully well in abundance.“ (Al Ahzab (The Combined Forces) 33:56).

And if the power of Holy Qur’an was carried by the physicality of Prophet (s), what do you think about his family? They are inheriting from that light and that honor. Prophet (s) said

“Hold fast to the book of Allah and my family” and in another narration,

” Hold fast to the book of Allah and my Sunnah.”

The Most Distinguished Naqshbandi Sufi way is built upon these two wings, and with two wings you may fly. All of the Naqshbandi Grandshaykhs perfectly followed the Sunnah of Prophet (s), and all of them are from his Ahlul Bayt, either by blood and Light or, in the case of Hadrat Salman al Farsi [q],by `Amal (actions) . From their lineage, these Masters are inheriting secrets that were given as an inheritance to the family of Prophet (s), because there is a Siddiqiya صديقيه/saintly secret and there is a nubuwiya نبوية/ Prophetic secret. A person may achieve the station of siddiq, or “truthful servant”, through pious actions and good character, but to be given from the nubuwiya is up to Prophet (s) personal inheritance for His family. That is his inheritance, and he may give it to whomever he chooses. That inheritance was given to Sayyidina Ali (as), as Prophet (s) said, “I am the city of knowledge and Ali is the gate.” It means that the secrets of Holy Qur’an from the nubuwiya نبوية secret, are following through the heart of Sayyidina Ali (as) – he is the door, and as God says in Holy Qur’an:

يَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْأَهِلَّةِ ۖ قُلْ هِيَ مَوَاقِيتُ لِلنَّاسِ وَالْحَجِّ ۗ وَلَيْسَ الْبِرُّ‌ بِأَن تَأْتُوا الْبُيُوتَ مِن ظُهُورِ‌هَا وَلَـٰكِنَّ الْبِرَّ‌ مَنِ اتَّقَىٰ ۗ وَأْتُوا الْبُيُوتَ مِنْ أَبْوَابِهَا ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّـهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ١٨٩ “Enter houses through the proper doors” (Al Baqara (The Cow) 2:189).

وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَ لَكُمُ النُّجُومَ لِتَهْتَدُوا بِهَا فِي ظُلُمَاتِ الْبَرِّ‌ وَالْبَحْرِ‌ ۗ قَدْ فَصَّلْنَا الْآيَاتِ لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ ٩٧ “And it is He who ordained the stars for you that you may be guided thereby in the darkness of the land and the sea.” (Al An’am (The Cattle) 6:97)

My Companion are like Stars Prophet [s] describing. The Enlighten One as Stars of the Heavens.

From that inheritance, and from Mawlana’s teachings, is the reality of the 12 months, which are 12 veils or spiritual emanations that are dressing creation throughout the year, and which are being dressed by the 12 Imams. Also from that inheritance, the secrets of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheemare flowing through Prophet’s (s) Ahlul Bayt. All of the power of Holy Qur’an is contained in 30 juz, and those 30 juz are condensed like a laser into the 7 verses of Surat al Fatiha, and the power of Surat al Fatiha is condensed into the 19 letters of Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem. The number 19 is a Secret number, composed of the numbers 1, representing the beginning, and number 9, representing completion. Put together they represent the reality that all knowledge from the beginning until the end is contained within Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem.

“Wa ’uloomul Qur’an bil Fatiha. Wa ’uloom ul Fatiha bil bismalah. Qad ’awda Allah jam’iyyal ‘uloomi fil Ba bi Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem.” “and the complete knowledge of the Holy Qur’an is contained in the Fatiha (first chapter of Quran). And all the knowledge in Fatiha is contained within the Bismillah (Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem). And all the knowledge in the Bismillah is contained in the letter ‘ba’ ب (harful ba ب).

BISMI بسم

Meem م and The Water of Life

BA ب and Secrets of The Name Sayyidina Ali علي(as)

Prophet (s) said, انا مدينة العلم و علي بابها “I am the city of knowledge and Ali is the door.” BABHU

Then Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem can be broken down even further into the Arabic letter “Ba” ب. Then below the Ba ب is the nuqt, or the dot of the “Ba”ب, which is a Secret from the reality of Sayyidina Ali (as).

Ali علي is composed of Ayn ع, Lam ل, and Ya ي.

YA=

ي Yaqeen

LAAM=

ل Lisan Sidiq Aliya

AYN= ع Al ‘Aleem

وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُم مِّن رَّحْمَتِنَا وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ لِسَانَ صِدْقٍ عَلِيًّا Wa wahabna lahum min rahmatina wajaalna lahum lisana sidqin aliyya

Yusuf Ali And We bestowed of Our Mercy on them, and We granted them lofty honoron the tongue of truth. (Holy Quran, Surat Mariam 19:50)

The Ayn ع / Eye is for al ‘Aleem العليم, Allah’s ancient knowledge which is dressing Sayyidina Ali (as).

Lam ل – is for the inheritance of the Lisan al Haqq لسان الحق, Mulk/dominion of Knowledge. Holy Quran 19:50 Wa wahabna lahum min rahmatin awaja alna lahum lisana sidqin Aaliyya And We bestowed of Our Mercy on them, and We granted them lofty honour on the tongue of truth.

Ya ي is Yaqeen يقين and Certainty of that Knowledge and Vision Ayn of certainty عين اليقين .

Youtube Secrets of Imam Ali

He is the Door to this Heavenly City of Knowledge /Sayidena Muhammad [s] means that all of the knowledges of Holy Qur’an are flowing through Sayyidina Ali (as), through the “Ba”ب. The Ba ب is also for Bahr ul Qudra بحر القدرة (the Ocean of Power). It means that all the power of Holy Qur’an can be found in the Ba ب of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem. That is why Sayyidina Mahdi (as) is from the lineage of Sayyidina Ali (as). Sayyidina Mahdi (as) is only as powerful as his grandfather and his grandfather is taking from Bahr ul Qudra بحر القدرة, the Ocean of Power.

Ahl al-Kisā’ (Arabic: أهل الكساء‎ People of the Cloak)

That power is flowing to the Ahlul Bayt, the family of Sayyidina Muhammad (s), as an inheritance, and that is why the 19 letters contained in Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem also correspond with the 19 letters contained in the names of the Ahlul Bayt:

Muhammad (s), Ali (as), Fatimah az Zahra (as), Hassan (as) and Hussain (as) .

In other words, the Ahlul Bayt are existing within the ocean of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem.

Therefore, the 19 letters of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem contain tremendous secrets. When Prophet (s) traveled with the angel Gabriel to the furthest boundary of Paradise, he saw the “Tree of Life”, sometimes referred to as the Bohdi Tree in other spiritual traditions, and from the trunk of that tree flowed four springs whose source was

Bismi Allah‘ Al-Rahman Al-Raheem بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْم

From the Meem م of Bismi came the first spring of a pure, transparent crystal water.

From the Ha of Allah came the second spring, which was a river of milk.

From the Meem م of Rahman came the third spring, which was a river of untarnished Nectar, which elevates without abasing, and from the Meem م of Raheem came the fourth spring which was a river of pure honey. Put together, it reads Meem م, Ha, Meem م, Meem م which is “Muhamma”.

There is no “dal د” because the dal د is for dunya دنيا (the material world). Therefore in the world of light he is known as “Muhamma”, but in the material world, Prophet (s) is known as “Muhammad محمد ” with a dal د because he is the Dalail دليل (the guide), the one who can take you back to the Divine oceans of power. Then Prophet (s) described that these four rivers are flowing into the Kawthar كَوثَر‌, which the Divine gave as a gift to Prophet (s):

إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَوْثَرَ‌ ١ Inna ‘atayna kal kawthar (1) To thee (O Muhammad!) have We have granted the Kawthar (Fountain of Abundance). (Surat Al Kawthar, 108:1)

“The fountain of abundance” means it is the source of all realities, known and unknown. It is the spring of Heavenly knowledge, so for anyone to reach their reality, they must be drinking from the Kawthar, which is owned by Sayyidina Muhammad (s) and is flowing through his Ahlul Bayt (his family).

[box_dark]”O Brother! Indeed Imam ‘Ali is the holder of the keys of the Sainthood, Wilayah ولاية, of the Prophet Muhammad [s] and the training regime for the status of Aqtab اقطاب, Awtad اوتاد and Abdaal ابدال, who are from amongst the reserved Awliya اوليا (saints) is done under the shelter of his Sainthood. The rank of Qutb al Aqtab قطب الاقطاب, who is the greatest Qutb and the guide and mentor of others, lays under his (‘Ali’s) feet. His orders are issued under the supervision and support of ‘Ali and he performs his duties under the supervision and support of (Imam) ‘Ali and fulfills his tasks. Sayyida Fatima and both of her sons, the Imams (Hasan and Husain) share this rank with (Imam) ‘Ali.” (Maktubat Imam Rabbani, Volume 1:438#251)[/box_dark]

The reality of Sayyidina ‘Ali also corresponds with the 12 lunar months that are dressing our Gnosticism, because there are 12 months and there are 12 Imams.

Imam Ali says, “The Prophet was once asked about the Imams while I was in his presence. He answered: I swear by the sky, [displaying] the Zodiacal signs (a reference to 85:1). Their number is the same number of the signs of the Zodiac. I swear by the Lord of the nights, days, and months their number is the same as the number of the months. The companion said: Who are they O messenger of Allah? So the Prophet (pbuh) placed his hand on my head and said: The first of them is this (Imam ‘Ali) and the last of them is Al Mahdi. Whoever supports them has supported me, who ever opposes them opposes me, whoever loves them loves me, whoever disdains them has disdained me, whoever rejects them has rejected me, and whoever acknowledges them has acknowledged me. Through them Allah protects His religion, expands His lands, sustains His people, brings down the drops of the sky, and the blessings of the earth emerge. They are my trustees and successors and the leaders and masters of the believers.

As each month passes, the Imams are dressing us from their realities and moving us along in our spiritual growth. Then each month is also dressed by a Surah of the Holy Qur’an.

In the first month, we are dressed by the first Surah of Holy Qur‘an. In the second month, we are dressed by the second Surah, and so forth. But Saints are moving with the power of 9 because it is the sultan of numbers, and they have reached that sultanate. Allah says,

وَلَقَدْ كَرَّ‌مْنَا بَنِي آدَمَ … ٧٠ “We have honored the children of Adam” (Al Isra (The Night Journey) 17:70).

Saints have received that honor and they are moving with the power of 9, the highest single-digit number. So as we are moving through the 12 months, we are moving from 1 through 12, but they are moving from 9 to 108 (9×12=108).

وَالْمَلَكُ عَلَىٰ أَرْ‌جَائِهَا ۚ وَيَحْمِلُ عَرْ‌شَ رَ‌بِّكَ فَوْقَهُمْ يَوْمَئِذٍ ثَمَانِيَةٌ ١٧ “69:17 Walmalaku ‘ala arjayeha, wa yahmilu ‘arsha rabbika fawqahum yawmaidhin thamaniyatun” 69:17 And the angels are at its edges. And they will bear the Throne of your Lord above them, that Day, eight [of them]. (Al Haaqqah (The Reality) 69:17)

Eight holding One King.

The Sultans of “9”

In the 1st lunar month, the month of Muharram under the spiritual gaze of Imam Ali (as), we are being dressed by the 9th Surah, Surah at Tawbah (Repentance), and these saints are teaching us that if we are seeking to approach the Heavenly Kingdom then approach with the best of manners, and the best and most sincere way of approaching is through repentance, because a sincere heart is constantly asking forgiveness. We are coming with so many sins and so many bad characteristics, and the saints are saying “It’s ok, but then you must be constantly asking for forgiveness. You must enter through the door of repentance.”

So Surah Tawbah is dressing the month of Muharram محرم, and on the 10th of Muharram is the Day of Ashura عاشورا and the sacrifice that Imam Hussain حسين(as) made on behalf of the nation of Sayyidina Muhammad (s).

Then when we read Surah Tawbah, it has no Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem, and Mawlana Shaykh wants us to understand that the reason for this has to do with the sacrifices made by the family of Sayyidina Muhammad (s), because when you sacrifice something, you don’t say Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem. You can’t say God is Most Merciful, and then slaughter something. So instead, you say “Bismillah, Allahu Akbar!” So as Surah Tawbah is dressing the month of Muharram and Ashura, then Sayyidina ‘Ali and Sayyidina Hussain حسين(as) are teaching us the reality of sacrifice.

At the most basic level, sacrificing means to give from what you have for the benefit of others, and for most people that equates to time and/or money. But to achieve what Mawlana Shaykh wants us to achieve for our soul, we must be willing to sacrifice ourselves. It means that we must be willing to turn the knife inward, and start the difficult process of cutting away all of the evilness and bad character that lies hidden within. Grandshaykh ‘Abdullah al Fa’iz ad Daghestani said that, to just come against one bad characteristic is like a battle of 700,000 to 1. Sayidina ‘Ali (as) is teaching us in the 1st month, under the 9th Surah (Surat at Tawbah), that “you must come through my door, the door of repentance. ”It means enter with repentance and then start to understand the importance and the reality of sacrifice.

The Name Allah الله

Al Khaliq الخالق and Realities of Sayidatina Fatima Zahra [as]

From He Of Allah and Fountains of Milk and Knowledge

Ism Allah al Khaliq الخالق – In the secret of creation ALLAH is the Creator and all creation is given its secret to exist to every womb, a creation is coming with Allah’s secret dressing it. That owner of all Secrets is Sayidena Muhammad [s] this is the inheritance of His Daughter Sayidatina Fatima Zahra [as].

With the Ba ب of Sayidena Ali [as] and Secret of Al Khaliq Dressing Sayidatina Fatima Zahra [as] coming BISIM ALLAH بِسْمِ اللهِ . The birth of all the custodians of the Secret of Sayyidina Muhammad [s] First Born of Imam Hasan حسن[as] and then the birth of Imam Hussain حسين[as].

Opening Hasanat and Blessings From Allah

﴾ وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَ‌بَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَ‌ةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ‌ ﴿٢٠١ 2:201 Wa minhum man ya qoolu rabbana atina fed dunya hasanatan wa fil akhirati hasanatan wa qina ‘adhaban naar.

2:201 But among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” (Al Baqara (the Cow) 2:201)

Ar Rahman الرحمن

From the Meem م of [Rahman رَحمَن] the Fountain of Wine the Nectar of Our Sustenance

Secrets of Name of Sayyidina Hassan [as]حسن

Noor Light NOON=50

Sir Secret SEEN=60

Hayat HA=8

Then as we continue to break down the meanings of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem, from the Rahman رَحمَن is coming Imam Hassan (as) and from the Raheem رَحِيم is coming Imam Hussain حسين(as), and their secret is being born through the womb of all creation, Saydatina Fatima az Zahra (as), who is dressed by the Secret of Divine attribute of al Khaliq, the One who Creates.

Rahman رَحمَن is composed of Ra ر, Ha ح and Meem م, which creates the word “rahem رَحم”¸ which means womb. The womb is a symbol of God’s mercy because it is the source of life, and the womb of Fatima az Zahra (as) is carrying the secrets of Rahman رَحمَن and Raheem رَحِيم , which are manifesting through her children, Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain حسين(as).

Sayyidina Hassan (as) حسن is from the reality of Rahman رحمن

ر Lordship Rububia,

Ha ح – is Secrets the oceans of Hayat the Ever living real existence, found in

Meem م of Muhammad [s] He [s] is the

Noon ن or Noor Light of all creation.

We now know that the Quantum reality is that all form breaks down to molecules and atoms and sub particles which are all Light and Light is Energy.

Everything that is coming into existence in our material world is coming through the attribute of Rahman رحمن. When we pray for hassanat حسنات (good deeds) in this life and hassanat in the next life, what are we really asking for? Hassanat حسنات means to be with Sayyidina Hassan (as)! If you are with Sayyidina Hassan (as) you will have achieved Divine satisfaction, and that mercy will dress your soul here and hereafter.

Sayyidina Hasan حسن is Ha ح -secret of Al Hayat oceans of the Ever living, Seen س-is for the Secrets of Creation the seen is inheritance from the Master of all Creation Sayyidina Muhammad Ya-Seen[as] The Seen The Heart of Creation and the Certainty of the Secret. And Noon ن-for the Noor or Light of Realities. Noor Light of Al Rahman الرحمن.

Imam Hassan حسن (as) is from the reality of Rahman رحمن, which is the attribute of mercy that is dressing the material world, and Imam Hussain حسين is from the reality of Raheem رَحِيم, which is dressing the world of light. Everything that is coming into existence in our material world is coming through the attribute of Rahman رحمن, through the pure light and pure goodness of Imam Hassan حسن.

When we say “Rabbana atina fid dunya hasanat wa fil akhirati hasanat,” what are we asking for? Hassanat حسنات means to be with Sayyidina Hassan (as)! If you are with Sayyidina Hassan (as) you will have achieved Divine satisfaction. So if you want hassanat حسنات in this world, and you want to be with Imam Hassan حسن (as) in the world of light, then keep the company of Ahlul Bayt because they are a source of tremendous blessings and protection. Mawlana Shaykh Nazim and Mawlana Shaykh Hisham are all big Ahlul Bayt and they are sitting at Prophet‘s table in the world of light. Therefore, if you find yourself accompanying them in the material world, eating with them, praying with them, fasting with them, and doing your best to make them happy, then Mawlana Shaykh is teaching us that you will be with them in Paradise. Prophet [s] teaching “you will be with whom you LOVE.”

Sayyidina Hassan حسن (as) is also dressing the 2nd lunar month, the month of Safar صفر , which is opening the secrets of the 18th Surah, Surat al Kahf سورة الكهف (The Cave). In the 9th Surah, verse 40, the cave is first mentioned, but it doesn‘t open its full reality until the 18th Surah. Al Kahf tells the story of the Ashabul Kahf اصحاب الكهف, “the People of the Cave”, also known as the seven sleepers. They were seven young men whose people had left belief and were following evilness. They advised their people to come back to the way of spirituality, but they refused to listen. Rather than being overcome by that evilness, the seven sleepers sought refuge in the cave.

وَإِذِ اعْتَزَلْتُمُوهُمْ وَمَا يَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّـهَ فَأْوُوا إِلَى الْكَهْفِ يَنشُرْ‌ لَكُمْ رَ‌بُّكُم مِّن رَّ‌حْمَتِهِ وَيُهَيِّئْ لَكُم مِّنْ أَمْرِ‌كُم مِّرْ‌فَقًا ١٦

Wa idhi’ tazaltumo hum wa ma ya’budoona illAllaha fawoo ilal kahfi yanshur lakum rabbukum mir rahmatihi wa yuhayyi lakum min amrikum mirfaqa. When ye turn away from them and the things they worship other than God betake yourselves to the Cave: your Lord will shower His mercies on you and dispose of your affair towards comfort and ease. (Al Kahf (The Cave) 18:16)

Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as) is from the reality of Raheem رَحِيم, Ha ح -secret of Al Hayat oceans of the Ever living, Seen س-is for the Secrets of Creation the seen is inheritance from the Master of all Creation Sayyidina Muhammad [as] Ya Seen, The Heart of Creation the Certainty of the Secret. And Ya ي – Yaqeen Master of Certainty by way of Sacrifice the Master of Shuhada /Witnessing. Noon ن -for the Noor or Light of Realities. Oceans of Hayat Eternity. Imam Hussain حسين he is the Imam at 27, corresponding with the 27th Surah and 3rd lunar month, Rabi ul Awwal.

The 27th Surah Naml: is the Hidden Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem appears since the 9th Surah:

إِنَّهُ مِ�� سُلَيْمَانَ وَإِنَّهُ بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّ‌حْمَـٰنِ الرَّ‌حِيمِ ٣٠ “Innahu Suleyman wa innahu Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.“ “It is from Solomon, and it reads: ‘In the name of Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful.”(An Naml (The Ant), 27:30)

Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as) is under the manifestation of Raheem, and in Surah Ya Seen, the heart of Holy Qur’an, we find the verse:

سَلَامٌ قَوْلًا مِّن رَّ‌بٍّ رَّ‌حِيمٍ ﴿٥٨

“Salaamun qawlam mir Rabbir Raheem.”

“A word of peace from a Lord of Rahim (Most Merciful)” (Ya Seen, 36:58).

Divine is showing you that if want real peace, the peace of spirituality that is an eternal gift on the soul, then you must follow the way of Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as). It means you must sacrifice. These are the Owners of Kawthar. Indeed, We have granted you, [O Muhammad], al-Kawthar

إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَوْثَرَ‌ ﴿١﴾ فَصَلِّ لِرَ‌بِّكَ وَانْحَرْ‌ ٢ 108:1 “Inna Ataynaka al kawthar 108:2 So pray to your Lord and sacrifice 108:2 Fasalli lirabbika wainhar.“ (al-Kawthar 108:1-2)

As we move from 9 to 18 to 27 in the Gnosticism of saints, they’re teaching us first the reality of sacrifice, and that if we really want to reach perfection we must seek to enter the cave. Once you are in the cave then we move into the ocean of 27, and the Imam at 27 is saying, “Now you are in the cave and you are in the process of dying. All of the materialistic desires, all of the schemes and ambitions you had for your material life are dying, and your heart is opening to the Divine Presence. You came to die to your desires, and I am the Sayid ash Shuhada, the master of sacrifice.”

Mifta Rahma. Then when we go deeper we realize how precise the Divine is with these numbers, because 27 is a reflection of 72. It means that the 3rd Imam is dressing the 3rd month and the 27th Surah, but that 27 is a reflection of 72, because everything in this world is a reflection. The reflection of 27 is 72, and the importance of

72 has to do with the martyrdom of Imam Hussain حسين (as).

The story of Imam Hussain حسين (as) is one of unimaginable sacrifice, and it shows the greatness of Sayyidina Muhammad (s).Where Prophet Abraham (as) was asked to sacrifice one boy and he struggled; Prophet (s) was asked to sacrifice73 of his grandchildren and companions and he never said anything. He knew who was going to kill them and he didn’t make a single prayer asking for that destiny to be changed. There are many historical narrations that Prophet (s) kissed Sayyidina Hassan حسن (as) on his lips and Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as) on his neck; showing his companions that he knew that one would be poisoned and the other would be killed.

Yet, out of the thousands of these narrations, there is not one in which Prophet (s) ever cursed the individuals he knew were going to slaughter his family. Instead, he ate with them, he prayed with them, he prayed for them, he fasted with them and he lived his life with the knowledge that one day they would kill his grandchildren. Imagine if anyone of us knew that someone close to us would one day kill our children or our grandchildren. We would immediately do something to stop it. But it is a testament to the greatness of Sayyidina Muhammad (s) that his level of submission is beyond imagination, and that is why God is saying, “this Messenger I have sent to you is of a tremendous nature. He is unlike anything in creation.”

Imam Hussain حسين (as) also had foreknowledge of future events because he is inheriting from the heart of Sayyidina Muhammad (s). He knew what was going to happen at Karbala. If you think he didn’t know, then you have already diminished his station. Therefore, there is no need for division over those events. He knew what was going to take place and he wanted that station to intercede for creation on the Day of Judgement. The people of Kufa came to Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as) and asked for his help. They were people who had been deceptive in the past. Those close to Imam Hussain حسين (as) warned him not to go, but Imam Hussain حسين (as) stood for truth and justice. If someone asked for his help, he never turned them away. So against all advices, he took his family and several companions and proceeded to Kufa, but his companions were right.

At Karbala he was surrounded by 10,000 people, the same people who had asked for his help, and on Ashura, the 10th of Muharram,

they slaughtered 72 members of the family of Imam Hussain حسين (as), 73 including himself.

Young boys who could barely lift a sword jumped to defend him and were immediately killed. With no access to water in the blistering heat of the desert, Imam Hussain حسين (as) desperately appealed for water to quench the thirst of his infant son, but instead they shot an arrow into the baby’s neck, killing him and soaking Imam Hussain حسين in the blood of his own child. When you sacrifice an animal, it is a matter of Divine law that you provide it with water because as the blood drains the sensation of thirst is overwhelming. But their hearts were so hard that they didn’t even grant the family of Imam Hussain حسين (as) this small mercy. He pleaded with them to return to their senses, asking them how they could recite la illaha ill Allah, Muhammadun RasulAllah, how they could accept the Messenger and then turn around and slaughter Messenger‘s family?

But from the knowledge of saints, they are teaching us, don‘t under estimate the station of Imam Hussain حسين . Prophet (s) said that his nation would be split into 73 groups.

72 groups would be on the wrong way, and 1 group would be the correct way.

Sayyidina Hussain حسين (as) knew this reality, and his desire was to intercede for those 72 on the Day of Judgement.

He’s saying, “the key that unlocks the door of intercession for these 72 groups was forged with my life.

These 72 came to Karbala and sacrificed themselves to be 72 notches on that key. Every death was a notch and I am the key that will open intercession on the Day of Judgement. That key is the reality of Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem.”

From this reality, saints are teaching us “don’t curse anyone!” You must love Prophet (s), you must love his government, you must love his family and all of creation. Imam Hussain حسين (as) is saying, “Don’t say death took me by surprise! Don’t curse the people who did it! Why are you cursing them? So that I couldn’t be Shahid?? So we wouldn’t have that key? I sacrificed myself for you!” These were huge saints with incredible power. They didn‘t grant water to Imam Hussain حسين , thinking that they could somehow deny a saint and an inheritor of the blood and light of Sayyidina Muhammad (s). Impossible! How Imam Hussain حسين (as) is inheriting from the Kawthar in Paradise, but he can‘t make a prayer to God for water? He didn’t because he is showing his station.

That is why, as a parting miracle before he faced his death, Imam Hussain حسين (as) kicked the ground and from his feet gushed a spring of fresh water. He was saying, “You killed our family and you didn’t give us water. Now you think you can deny me? We own the zam zam! But I am not like you! On the Day of Judgement I will let you drink from my hands the Holy Oceans of Khawthar.”

That level of character is unimaginable, and that is why it is important to remember the life of Imam Hussain حسين (as) and follow his example. He is carrying the greatest of sacrifices not because he wants us to copy him, but because he can‘t tell someone to do something that he didn‘t do. They are able to teach us about sacrifice because they sacrificed more than anyone in creation. When we struggle against a bad desire we can look to their story and realize that our struggles and difficulties in life are so small in comparison that it brings about a feeling of shyness and a motivation to succeed. We can never achieve what he achieved, but we can sacrifice one bad desire or one bad characteristic. We can learn to place less importance on physical enjoyments and more importance on serving others. When we study the life of Prophet (s) and the lives of his family, it makes us realize how small we are in comparison and how far we are coming short.

Every night in our meditation we should be crying and apologizing to Imam Hussain حسين (as) that, “Ya Imam Hussain حسين! You gave your life for the love of Sayyidina Muhammad (s) like all Ahlul Bayt and the Beloved Khulafae Rashideen wa Mahdiyeen, Sayyidina Abu Bakr as Saddiq, Hadrat Omar ar Faruq, Hadrat Uthman ibn Affan, Hadrat Imam ‘Ali, Imam Hassan wa Imam Hussain [as]. You sacrificed your entire being to stand up for the way of Prophet (s), and I am struggling just to leave one bad characteristic. How can I ask to sit at your table in Paradise when I have accomplished nothing good with this life. I am asking to dedicate my life to Sayyidina Muhammad (s), but I am struggling. Ya Imam Hussain حسين! From what the Divine has given to you, support me! Give me the strength to overcome my bad desires. Grant me the energy to work for Prophet (s) and for Mawlana Shaykh, to spread his message of peace and spirituality. They are waiting to be of service, but first you must ask.

The Fall of Man and The First Repentance is the Key to Uplifting: From Lore of Light by Hajjah Amina Adil wife of Sultan al Awliya Muhammad Nazim al Haqqani

When Adam was in paradise, the Lord ordered Gabriel to take Adam on a tour through the whole of paradise’s gardens. They toured the Jannah and Adam espied a great castle of Light whose walls were made of gold and silver, of topaz and ruby and most precious materials. Inside the castle was a throne of light underneath a dome of light. Upon the throne sat a person of amazingly beautiful aspect who made Adam forget all the beauty of Eve in an instant.

There was a crown of light set upon her head, she was adorned with pearls and a girdle of light. Adam gazed at her intensely and he asked: “Oh Lord, who is this person ?” The Lord answered him:

“This is the shape of Fatima az Zahra [as], and the crown upon her head is Muhammad [s]; the jewels in her hand are Hassan حسن [as] and Hussain حسين[as]; the girdle of light around her waist, that is Ali [as].”

There were also five gates to the palace of light and an inscription above each of these.

Above the first was written:

1. “I am the praiseworthy, and this is Muhammad محمد. 2. “Above the second : “I am the highest of the high and this is ‘Ali علي. 3. “Above the third: “I am the Creator, and this is Fatima فاطمة. 4. ” On the fourth: “I am the beneficent, and this is Hassan حسن. 5. ” And above the fifth gate: “I am the bestower of charity, and this is Hussain حسين.

“Gabriel said to Adam: “Mark well these names, oh Adam, there will come a day when you will have need of them.” Now, when Adam descended upon the earth he wept for three–hundred years. Then he heard a voice, calling to him: “Adam, look upon the Baitul-Mamur” (up in the heavens.) Adam directed his gaze upwards, then he prostrated himself and said: “Oh Praiseworthy One, for the sake of Muhammad, oh Highest of the High, for the sake of Ali, oh Creator, for the sake of Fatima Zahra, oh Beneficent One, for the sake of Hasan, oh Bestower of Charity, for the sake of Hussain حسين, forgive me, oh my Lord, and accept my repentance.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْم يا الحميد بحق محمد [ص]، يا الاعلي بحق علي [ع]، يا الخالق بحق فاطمة زهرأ [ع يا الرحمن بحق امام حسن [ع]، يا الرحيم بحق امام حسين [ع

Bismi Allah Al Rahman Al Raheem Ya Al Hamid bi Haqqi Muhammad [s], Ya Al-Ala bi Haqqi ‘Ali [as], Ya Al Khaliq bi Haqqi Fatima az Zahra [as], Ya Al Rahman bi Haqqi Imam Hassan [as], Ya al Raheem bi Haqqi Imam Hussain [as].

The Lord then spoke: “Oh Adam (AS), had you asked forgiveness by these names for every single one of your descendants from now until the Day of Judgement, I would have forgiven them all and placed not one of them in hell.”

Then Adam (AS) was driven out from paradise, he cried: “Oh Lord, You have created me from Your Almighty Power, You had given me dwelling in paradise and made the angels to bow low before me, and I have disobeyed You by following the command of my lower soul — I beseech Thee for forgiveness and return unto Thee, wilt Thou accept my repentance?” The Lord of the worlds spoke and said: “Oh Adam, before I created the Heavens and the Earth, I had written.:

رَ‌بُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْ‌ضِ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا الْعَزِيزُ الْغَفَّارُ‌ ٦٦ 38:56 “Lord of the heavens and earth, and of what between them is, the All-Mighty, the All forgiving. (Sad (The Letter Saad) 38:66).

That One Group that is Safe Must be Muhammadiun, For Love of Sayedena Muhammad [s] sacrifice everything and Love everyone, never cursing creation. Sayedena Muhammad [s] was sent as a Mercy to all Creation.

#the secrets of the keys to paradise unlocking the bismala

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imascientistofmusic · 7 years

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Im a huge fucking nerd

final LYRICS FOR ENDOLPHINS AND MC FOUCAULT EP Welcome to Kirby’s Memeland (MILLIPEDES FOR THE MOLEMEN) Got it so hot y'all give me standing ovations while I'm spamming the squat[1] like my whole family's Croatian if my dad's Jackie Chan[2] am I Hispanic or Asian? please understaånd this equation ()[3] me no panic just blazing at any random location i’m your romantic liaison killa Beys in formation[4] the doctor's[5] now handling patients I put the wots in tarnations[6] I put the spots on dalmatians I move the block with my cadence Now time just stops when i say shit But the beat goes on cause i made it Alex Strong[7] in the paint and Singing So Long[8] to fake friends We can roll out the Save ends[9] Y'all kittens tryin my patience I need to find an oasis Pass me that blunt and i'll face it Why y'all stuntin so basic? Im kinda something like LASIK[10] take your quirk and erase it[11] If there's something to say then I'm Malcolm Little and Dakin[12] Welcome to Kirbys Memeland[13] Im a giant herbing with green hands[14] Defiantly serving up steamed hams[15] Yo shuhei hold up i got remands[16] Misery[17] in the moment Missouri in the mornings[18] Mysteries in the motions Miss her seas in this ocean[19] (oh shit) ALL AT ONCE (HOW HARD JAMES HARDIN GOES WHEN HE GOES HARD IN THE PAINT) One day i’ll kill all the white men take back the land we’re missin[20] Im Diego's street art and they're banksy's vandalisms[21] Like the second coming of yeezus[22] and he's risen Built a religion for giant robots[23] called it animism[24] My flow is so fucking preposterous Patrol the land rarer than rhinoceroses[25] Get your heads out the sand yall lookin like ostriches Didn't kill the cat[26] but we checked it into hospice I know yr feeling that and baby one i got this My boys swing the bats like my last name was ausmus[27] Best rappers who aren't black you know i top the list prophets foretold my path (my birth) it was an (heavenly) auspice Imagine how hard james hardin[28] goes when he goes hard in the paint Well i go harder than that On my level you ain't I'm smart as The Bat[29] I'm like double your rank I just started to rap But the devil remains In the details im valued retail theyre resale[30] i'll continue my never ending quest to impress you[31] I’m obsessed with the things that pens do Allah bless this mess because i swear i intend to Decompress and recollect about fucked things that friends[32] do Parenthetically my memes are better than y’all’s Im aesthetically[33] hiding in vectors too small Interjecting my dreams while dissenting all leans[34] Exquisitely dining on minds here at the end of all things [35] We bout those movers and shakers We bustin loose of the matrix[36] I get my fruit at bodegas Im bound to move to NEW VEGAS[37] Matthew McConaughey (HARRY AND THE HUMAN CENTIPEDES) Another space time anomaly[38] An Interstellar[39] odyssey Alright alright alright Im Mathew McConaughey Im unfuckingstoppable the impossible possible The whole world's my hospital not a gd thing is inoperable[40] Credentials are laudable Essentially i got it all Took a look at the d And then called an audible[41] Obliterate any Obstacle Precipitate like waterfalls Instigate a kinder cause Evicerate a haunted ghoul[42] When i fucks with physics the laws get more lax my words carry weight like the world's biggest snorlax[43] Come at me son yr gonna need more VATS[44] carried this town[45] for So Long[46] im getting a sore back their love for me like a tree to the Lorax[47] My lyrics paint pictures so i call them a Rorschach[48] my bones are telling me bad weathers on the forecast a storm is rolling in this is the calm before that Past five centuries all of them regrettable[49] Just like entropy i am inevitable[50] I was meant to leave my head it was full Fundamentally i'm so far ahead of these fools Down five hennessy's trying just to deaden this pulse[51] Iron sentry's lining the edge of the mall[52] 100% dying to dismantle this wall[53] Johnny five empathy no disassemble this bot[54] Quintessentially im X at the head of this school[55] Intermittently you slept in my bed it was cool incidentally we had sex in the end of the pool Human centipede[56] that ass it was my edible[57] G.O.A.T. (NIETZSCHE DIDN’T KILL GOD, I DID) Like JD[58] I’m the GOAT[59] Billy[60] hashtag Swag[61]gert[62] Worlds most accurate fact checking rapper This is a game to me Chutes and ladders[63] Here's where the bangers[64] be girl you know i had ‘er My flow the yangtze[65] i spit venom black adders[66] Opposite of banksy[67] or some bullshit “all lives matter”[68] Fuck the president[69] that dude cant get any badder[70] Cooking up some poppy tea[71] mix it up like cake batter HEY DON'T LOOK AWAY DON'T LET IT GROW ON YOU IT'S NOT OK Engrave the following on my headstone: “They[72] died getting head stoned peepin Tombstone[73] While eatin a tombstone pizza[74]" I’ve gone full blown nietzsche[75] said hello to the abyss "it was good to meet ya"[76] Behind this mask's a terrifying creature[77] Who would gladly cook you up and eat ya Every track i’m on mc foucault's the feature Threat level dragon[78] when im hittin the road again Like shang tsun out here looking for some souls to bend[79] Other rappers words are last years memes im so over them Like neil in the 80s its the weight of the world im shoulderin'[80] Tho ive been there once couldnt tell you where denver starts and boulder ends[81] Rockin california fishes like them pennsylvania colder pens[82] I spit fire like dylon[83] and i left the studio smolderin Sitch is Dire like sylons you used to know as older friends[84] Minds expired with prions[85] when i take theirs skulls and open em Im entirely high on the spirit taking time up and folding it[86] unlike battery acid im so hella caustic[87] Such flattering assets with a tongue so toxic Made saturn's rings spin on a cosmic cross stitch My staggering spit it god agnostic[88] [1] “Why do Slavs squat?” is a satirical catchphrase associated with imageboards and forums discussing Eastern European people and cultures http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/why-do-slavs-squat-slav-squat [2] My dad and jackie chan are aging to look like the same person [3] I use medical marijuana to treat anxiety [4] Beyonce - Formation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDZJPJV__bQ [5] My initials are DRB and so many folks call me Doctor or Doctor B [6] “What in Tarnation?” is a rhetorical question meaning “what in damnation?”, which is often associated with Americans living in the Southern United States expressing incredulous bewilderment. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/what-in-tarnation [7] Drummer of Endolphins and one of the progenitors of this particular beat [8] So Long is my queerpop band SoLongNaota.Bandcamp.com [9] A saving throw in D&D http://dnd4.wikia.com/wiki/Saving_throw [10] Corrective laser eye surgery [11] Boku No Hero Academia character Shota Aizawa “eraser head” who’s special power is erasing others’ special powers http://bokunoheroacademia.wikia.com/wiki/Shota_Aizawa [12] Church of The Three Cats is at the corner of Malcolm X (born Malcolm Little) and Dakin in Lansing, Michigan [13] Gamboy title Kirby’s Dreamland but with memes [14] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Giant but with Weed [15] Simpsons shitpost classic http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/steamed-hams [16] Once I beat magic the gathering hall of famer Shuhei Nakamura in a Grand Prix with a timely remand [17] The first Endolphins release was called North of Misery as a nod to their being in Iowa [18] In 2015 I toured with Endolphins and had two amazing mornings in St Louis, s/o to KPAX and calcifer [19] Sometimes you meet someone who forever changes the way you think about things like water, and then you drown in thoughts never actually able to grasp anything completely again [20] im native as fuck http://www.corteidh.or.cr/tablas/24777.pdf [21] Artist Diego Rivera vs Banksy [22] Kanye West's ego messiah and eponymous album [23] giant robot anime trope for example: neon genesis evangelion, flcl, gundam... [24] Animism but with Anime https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animism [25] Rhino’s are near extinct everywhere https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/rhino_population_figures [26] Slang for giving a person with a vagina multiple orgasms [27] Detroit Tigers skipper Brad Ausmus [28] James Hardin is a professional basketball Superstar [29] Comic book protagonist Batman [30] Price you get for selling an item new (retail) vs used (resale) [31] A certain person who since i have met has inspired most of my creative endeavors [32] See directly above [33] in a way that gives pleasure through beauty [34] biases [35] Comic book character Galactus, Eater of Worlds https://marvel.com/universe/Galactus [36] 1999 science fiction film The Matrix [37] 2010 video game Fallout: New Vegas [38] My favorite Star Trek trope [39] My favorite Matthew McConaughey film [40] See note #5 [41] In american football a quarterback will notice something about the defense and change the play at the line of scrimmage, this is called an audible [42] These are hearthstone cards [43] Snorlax is a very large and heavy pokemon that can only be moved by playing a special flute [44] Vault-tec assisted targeting system in Fallout video game franchise, the more skill points one has the more they can do in combat before an enemy reacts [45] I have been a pillar of the diy community in lansing michigan for 20 years [46] So Long Naota/Collective see note #8 [47] Dr Seuss character who is the protector of nature [48] The Rorschach test is a psychological test in which subjects' perceptions of inkblots are recorded and then analyzed using psychological interpretation, complex algorithms, or both. [49] Since Europeans have arrived on the shores of North and South America they have brought only misery and genocide [50] The second law of thermodynamics requires that, in general, the total entropy of any system can't decrease other than by increasing the entropy of some other system. Hence, in a system isolated from its environment, the entropy of that system tends not to decrease. [51] Drinking is a mostly self destructive behavior for myself and I tend to only do it when i wish to self harm [52] Episode 3 of the 1997 anime Beserk [53] Fuck borders fuck walls freedom is not possible when they exist [54] 1986 film Short Circuit about a robot that gains sentience and learns of death the term for which is dissassemble [55] Professor Xavier from the X-Men comics who runs a school for Mutants [56] 2009 Dutch body horror film Human Centipede tells the story of people sewn mouth to ass [57] Analingus [58] The Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle or JD aka thrashkitten member of the sooper swag project [59] GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) is a term used in hip hop to talk about the best rappers ever [60] A billy is a male goat [61] #swag is a song by rapper GMCFOSHO who is a friend of mine [62] Jimmy Swaggert was a televangelist who was defrocked for multiple prostitution scandals [63] Chutes and Ladders is a metaphor for life. As such, it is arguably the most philosophical of all children's board games. Based on the ancient Indian game Snakes and Ladders. The historic version had root in morality lessons, where a player's progression up the board represented a life journey complicated by virtues (ladders) and vices (snakes). [64] Banger is a term for a particularly moving composition [65] The Yangtze is the longest river in Asia and the third-longest in the world. The river is the longest in the world to flow entirely within one country. [66] A venomous snake that lives in europe and east asia, also a nod to the lyric earlier about chutes and ladders (snakes and ladders) [67] “Some have criticised the "obviousness" of Banksy's work, and accused it of being "anarchy-lite" geared towards a middle class "hipster" audience.” [68] A slogan used to silence the #blacklivesmatter movement [69] Donald Trump [70] 1998 Arcade game Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja later ported to the Nintendo Entertainment System known widely for its intro cut scene in which the protagonists are asked if they are bad enough dudes to save the president [71] Poppy tea is any herbal tea infusion brewed from poppy straw or seeds of several species of poppy. For the purpose of the tea, dried pods are more commonly used than the pods of the live flower. The walls of the dried pods contain opiate alkaloids, primarily consisting of morphine. [72] I am non-binary and use they/them pronouns [73] 1993 Western Tombstone starring kurt russel and val kilmer [74] Very cheap frozen pizzas of dubious quality [75] Nietzsche claimed the death of God would eventually lead to the loss of any universal perspective on things, and along with it any coherent sense of objective truth [76] Nietzsche once said: “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” [77] Nietzsche also said: “All great things must first wear terrifying and monstrous masks in order to inscribe themselves on the hearts of humanity.” [78] 2015 Anime and Manga One Punch Man’s shout out to Neon Genesis Evangelion describing a monster that is a threat to multiple cities [79] 1992 Arcade Fighing game Mortal Combat’s main villain who stole people's souls [80] Neil Young's sleeper Weight of The World from his amazing foray into new wave on his criminally unheralded album Landing on Water [81] I visited colorado for the first time on tour with Endolphins and tho enjoyable it was mostly mountains and urban sprawl and legal weed [82] The 2016 battle for Lord Stanley’s cup between NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins and [83] Chappell show sketch about Dylon who thought he was the GOAT because “dylon spit hot fire” [84] Battlestar Galactica plot twist [85]Kuru is a very rare, incurable neurodegenerative disorder that was prevalent among the Fore people of Papua New Guinea. Kuru is caused by the transmission of abnormally folded prion proteins, which leads to symptoms such as tremors, loss of coordination, and neurodegeneration. Most people who develop it are cannibals [86] The quantum physics theory of time travel [87] Acids are corrosive and bases are caustic [88] God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it? — Nietzsche, The Gay Science, Section 125,

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dailytafsirofquran · 7 years

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Daily Tafsir of Ibn Kathir

The Destruction of the Towns is a Proof of the Establishment of the Hour (Judgement) Allah, the Exalted, is saying that in the destruction of the disbelievers and the salvation of the believers by us is, (a sure lesson). This means an admonition and lesson concerning the truthfulness of that which We are promised in the Hereafter. .(Verily, We will indeed make victorious Our Messengers and those who believe in this world's life and on the Day when the witnesses will stand forth.)﴿40:51﴾ Allah, the Exalted, also says, (So their Lord revealed to them: "Truly, We shall destroy the wrongdoers.) ﴿14:13﴾ Concerning Allah's statement, (That is a Day whereon mankind will be gathered together,) This means the first of them and the last of them. This is similar to Allah's statement (And We shall gather them all together so as to leave not one of them behind.) ﴿18: 47﴾ (and that is a Day when all will be present.) This means a day that is great. The angels will be present, the Messengers will gather and all of the creation will be gathered with their families. The humans, Jinns, birds, wild beasts and domesticated riding animals will all be gathered. Then the Most Just, Who does not wrong anyone even an atom's weight, will judge between them and He will increase their good deeds in reward. Concerning the statement, (And We delay it only for a term (already) fixed.) This means for a fixed period of time than cannot be increased or decreased. Then He says, (On the Day when it comes, no person shall speak except by His (Allah's) leave.) This means that on the Day of Judgement no one will speak except with the permission of Allah. This is similar to another verse, which says, (they will not speak except him whom the Most Gracious (Allah) allows, and he will speak what is right.) ﴿78:38﴾ Allah also says, (And all the voices will be humbled for the Most Gracious (Allah). ) ﴿20:108﴾ In the Hadith about the intercession, which is recorded in the Two Sahihs, the Messenger of Allah said, (No one will speak on that day except the Messengers, and the call of the Messengers will be, "O Allah, save us, save us.'') Concerning Allah's statement, (Some among them will be wretched and (others) blessed.) This means that from the people of the gathering (on Judgement Day), some will be miserable and some will be happy. This is as Allah said, (When a party will be in Paradise and a party in the blazing Fire) ﴿42:7﴾ Al-Hafiz Abu Ya`la recorded in his Musnad on the authority of Ibn `Umar that `Umar said, "When this verse was revealed, (Some among them will be wretched and (others) blessed.) I asked the Prophet , `O Messenger of Allah, will there be a sign for us to know (which party we are from) Will it be because of something that a person did, or something that he did not do' He said, (O `Umar, it will be due to something that he did and the pens wrote it down. But every easy deed was created for its purpose (to be carried out).) Then Allah explains the situation of the wretched people and the happy people. He, the Exalted, says, (106. As for those who are wretched, they will be in the Fire, in it they will experience Zafir and Shahiq.) (107. They will dwell therein for all the time that the heavens and the earth endure, except as your Lord wills. Verily, your Lord is the doer of whatsoever He intends (or wills).

#allah #islam #quran #ayat #hadith #dua #ramadan #revert #help #help me #revert help #revert help team #religion #pray #prayer #muslim #tafsir

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mayangadi · 7 years

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Insya Allah SAH ❤

Hallo Tumblr :)

Sudah hampir 4 tahun yang lalu terakhir posting disini, lama banget ya. Jaman semester-akhir kuliah. Masih jadi anak kuliahan dan sekarang udah mau nikah aja #eh 😜

Jadi gue mau ngabarin kabar gembira untuk kita semua, kini duren ada ekstraknya ~~ eh salah. Kabar gembiranyaaaa adalaaah, gue mau nikaaaah. Dalam waktu dekat ini. 3 bulan lagi. Tepatnya bulan Oktober. Tanggalnya *rahasia* hihi Insya Allah doakan semoga lancar ya. Aminin ya tshay~

Jadi di postingan kali ini gue mau cerita tentang perjalanan love-life kita berdua kenapa akhirnya memutuskan untuk menikah. Mungkin agak panjang atau malah panjang banget. Ya daripada ngga ada kerjaan mending lo baca tumblr gue aja ya biar tumblr gue ada yang view hahahaha ~

Let’s the story begin

“Love at first sight is easy to understand. it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.” – Sam Levenson

Dia, Rizky Aldian Widiarto (Aldi). Tersenyum malu-malu seraya mengambil mic dan akhirnya membuka suara di hadapan kedua keluarga, “saya disini bermaksud untuk serius meminang adinda Mayang Adi untuk menjadi istri saya. Semoga apa yang saya niatkan diijabah oleh Allah. Semoga niat baik keluarga saya diterima baik juga oleh keluarga Mayang”. ——- Haaaaaahhh gue hampir semaput dilamar begitu di depan banyak orang. Antara malu dan haru. Sungguh, ngga nyangka! Ini rasanya lho dilamar orang. Ya Allah, makasih kado ulang tahun ke-25 nya indah banget!

Lho udah sampai lamaran aja? Gue kan belom cerita awal mula ketemu Aldi ~~

3 tahun lalu, gue sama aldi ketemu di acara lamaran sepupu gue Pipit. Riyadh kakaknya Pipit itu temen SMA nya Aldi. Temen se-geng gitu lah pada masanya. Nah dulu itu Aldi profesinya masih jadi Photographer. Saat lamaran Pipit, dia diminta tolong Riyadh buat mengabadikan moment indah adiknya itu. ‘Lah terus apa hubungannya sama lo may?’ Gue? Gue bagian bantuin bagiin piring prasmanan T__T *tukang piring *ini beneran. Jan tawa ~

Ketika acara lamaran selesai, kami (keluarga besar) kumpul-kumpul di ruang tamu. Disitu nyanyak (nenek) gue masih sehat, belum *maaf* pikun, lagi bercanda sama cucu-cucunya. Aldi yang duduk di sudut ruangan sambil mengutak-atik kameranya tiba-tiba dipanggil Nyanyak. “Eh tong!”, teriaknya. Aldi menoleh. Gue liat jelas mukanya bingung. “Ini cucu-cucu gue masih pada perawan nih”, sambil nunjuk gue sama Yanti (sepupu gue yang masih jomblo) disertai gelak tawa keluarga seruangan. Oh ya waktu itu gue juga masih jomblo. Jomblo baru 6 bulan. Sebelumnya putus pas mau sidang skripsi. Sedih dah kalo diceritain mah. Lah (?)

OKE nyak, ini kalo ada ember rasanya pen nyemplungin kepala kalo bisa ama badan-badan sekalian dah biar kagak malu. Diketawain sekeluarga besar. Diketawain doi juga….. Emang dasar lo May, joms…..

Oh iya, sungguh gue tuh baru notice ada temennya Riyadh pas lagi dibecandain Nyanyak itu. Pas dari awal acara lamaran sampai dia lagi cekrak cekrek gue malah ngga ngeh. Diliat-liat cakep juga. Sekilas mirip Zayn Malik *Zayn Malik versi pamulang*

Meskipun sudah dicengin abis-abisan, gue masih ngga tahu dia itu siapanya Riyadh atau paling ngga, tau namanya. Yang gue tau dia cuma orang yang fotoin lamarannya Pipit. Gue pun ndak mau cari tau…. Maaf yha mz :p

Beberapa hari kemudian, gue yang waktu itu masih kerja di vendornya Telkomsel lagi lembur sampai jam 2 pagi. Tiba-tiba notif Path gue bunyi. Ada yang add Path gue jam 2 pagi cuy! Kinda creepy….. eh tunggu, pas gue buka fotonya kok kaya ngga asing. Mutual friendnya juga…. What?! Ini kan Photographer yang kemaren ntuh.. Ngapain doski add add gue. Ih modus! *tapi terus gue accept wkwk

Singkat cerita berawal dari Path lalu modus lanjut ke ketemuan lalu modus dan ngga lama dia modus…. Eh nembak, terus jadian. Sepupu gue si Riyadh ini bahkan ngga tau gue sudah sampe jadian. Poor you dude, lol :p

Entah ya, gue belom pernah pacaran selama ini. 3 tahun coy, itu lama bingits ~ cuma laki-laki ini yang bisa mengerti gue. Mengerti mood gue, mau gue, apapun. Dan yang paling penting insya allah dia setia! Ya Allah jangan sampe gue sia-siain yang kaya gini :(

Selama 3 tahun itu gue sama Aldi udah sering main ke rumah masing-masing. Kedua orang tua kita pun juga udah sering ketemu. Well ya tapi yang lebih penting adalah gue dan aldi sudah merasa cocok lebih dari apapun. Kita sudah lelah mencari. Kita juga sudah insya Allah mapan. Dalam arti, usia dan pekerjaan kami yang sekarang sudah lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya. Gue 25 tahun dan Aldi 27 tahun. Aldi yang tadinya freelance Photographer dan gue karyawan kontrak vendor IT, kini dia sudah menjadi pegawai tetap BUMN dan gue pegawai tetap BUMD. Selain itu, tabungan kita yang kita kumpulkan sudah cukup. Maka kita pun sepakat bahwa hubungan kita perlu dimantapkan ke jenjang yang lebih tinggi lagi. Yaitu pernikahan.

Allah maha baik. Allah maha baik. Doa kita terwujud satu demi satu. Alhamdulillah ~

Jadi ingat ibu gue selalu bilang, “carilah calon suami yang mencintai ibunya. Maka ia akan mencintai istrinya lebih dari apapun”. Bu, mayang sudah menemukannya :)

Tahap sampai proses ketemu kedua orang tua untuk membicarakan lamaran dianggap 100% sukses. Acara lamaran pun digelar.

8 januari 2017 di Restoran Taman Situ Gintung Ciputat, kami mengadakan acara lamaran kecil-kecilan. Yang hadirpun cuma keluarga besar kedua pihak aja. Banyak pertimbangan kenapa ambil acara lamaran ngga di rumah. Well, selain karna ngga ada parkiran, di rumah rusuh banyak kucing haha ~

Prosesi lamaran pun lancar. Tuker cincin, kasih seserahan-angsulan, foto-foto lanjut makan siang. What a lovely day! (Foto-foto will be upload soon)

Setelahnya, kita pun sembari mencari bulan dan tempat pernikahan. Mungkin di postingan berikutnya bakal cerita petualangan gue sama aldi cari-cari vendor, cathering sampai gedung nikah ya. Bcs this post’s just way too long :p

SEKIAN CUAP DAN CERITANYA. 3 bulan lagi mayang nikah. Jadi jangan nanya-nanya mulu kapan nikah. Lagian kalo gue kasih tau, emang lo dateng? Nanti sedih lagi *eh :p

Doain ya semoga lancar. Masih 3 bulan masih banyak cobaan. Insya Allah kalo niat baik pasti dimudahkan. Yang baca postingan ini semoga berfaedah waktunya ya hahaha. Jangan jahat doanya yaaa xoxo :*

——————————————

“Akhirnya punya fiancè” “Akhirnya bentar lagi nikah” “Akhirnya soon to be Mrs. Widiarto” “Akhirnyaaaa……”

—————————————— Hei tunggu! Kamu perlu tau sesuatu. Mungkin terlihat indah, tetapi menentukan pasangan untuk menemanimu hingga menjadi debu tak semudah itu. Kamu - harus - yakin. YAKIN!

See ya on my next post! :)

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salimahyb · 7 years

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Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu. I hope this meets you in the best of conditions. It’s been a while since I last posted anything here. For weeks now I have wanted to write this article, but school work kept me so busy. However, yesterday I received shocking news of a friend’s death (Allahu Yarhamahu) and I was motivated to pick up my pen. (Please make du’a for him)

One faithful evening after Asr Prayer, I was reciting Suratul A’la to Suratul Nas and I was reminded of some important things we forget.

Allah says Quran 91 verses 9-10 “He has succeeded who purifies it, and he has failed who instills it [with corruption].” And also in Qur’an 87 verse 14 He says, “He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself.”

Let’s examine these verses from the two different Suwar. In Quran 91 verse 9, the “it”refers to THE HUMAN SOUL. In this verse Allah tells us that true success is purifying one’s soul. In Quran 87 verse 14 the same message is repeated. But in this verse instead of “it” we have “himself” as a whole. The first verse highlights the importance of purifying one’s soul and the other has to do with purifying one’s self as a WHOLE. Our soul is the essence of human body. When you have a pure soul, then you automatically have a pure body. However a pure body doesn’t guarantee you a pure body. Once you strive hard to purify your soul, you will automatically strive to purify your body. Oh! Let’s not forget that the ultimate success as Muslim is PURIFYING ONE’S SOUL. If you think that graduating with a first class degree, having many cars, houses or any other worldly possession is success then you are mistaken Ya Muslimun.

In Quran 87 verses 16-17, Allah says, “But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.” He also says in Quran 93 verse 4, “And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].”

Let’s study these verses from two different Suwar having the same message. INDEED, THE AHKIRAH IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN THIS DUNYAH. So why are we so concerned about this filthy Dunya when Allah azza wajal has declared that the Akhira is better for you. Why do you chase this Dunya when it has been revealed that the Akhira is better for you. O ye who believes! When you realize that the Akhira is better for you, then you will begin to search and seek for ways to have a good ending. And this will lead you to the “PURIFICATION OF YOUR SOUL.” For only a pure soul shall have a good Akhirah.

“Indeed, to your Lord is the return.” (Quran 96 verse 8). “So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it, And whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it.” (Quran 99 verse 7-8)

Every atom of good and evil will be shown to you on the Day of Judgement. Aren’t you ashamed to stand in front of your Lord with Zina, Smoking, back biting, lying, Riba and so on? Wouldn’t you prefer to stand in front of your Lord with Salah (prayer), Zakat, Sadaqah (Charity), Sawn and so on? So why are you wasting your time following trendsetters instead of worshipping Allah. Why wouldn’t you strive to have a pure soul that returns to His Lord with lots of good deeds and Ibadah?

“Indeed, they who have believed and done righteous deeds – those are the best of creatures. Their reward with Allah will be gardens of perpetual residence beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever…” (Quran 98 verses 7-8)

So where does a purified soul go to during the Day of Judgement? Where does a person whose good deeds outweigh his bad deeds end up in? Where does a person who spent his time preparing for the Akhirah in this Dunya? Where does a soul who spent his days and night worshipping Allah go to after his death?

“In an elevated garden, Wherein they will hear no unsuitable speech. Within it is a flowing spring. Within it are couches raised high. And cups put in place. And cushions lined up. And carpets spread around.”

“[To the righteous it will be said], “O reassured soul, Return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [to Him], And enter among My [righteous] servants. And enter My Paradise.” (Quran 89 verses 27-30)

Ya Allah! Ya Zal Jalali Wal Ikram (The Lord of Majesty and Bounty). Make us among the righteous ones who will have a beautiful ending.

What is stopping you from becoming a righteous person? Is it the company that you keep? Or the trendsetters that you follow? Or the enjoyment of this filthy Dunya? Ya Muslimun! Sit down and reflect. Try to imagine what will happen to you after you die. This is a wakeup call to us all. “Every soul shall taste death.” (Quran 3 verse 183) Would you die with a pure soul or a corrupt soul? Be prepared to return to your Lord.

A Note To Everyone… Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu. I hope this meets you in the best of conditions. It’s been a while since I last posted anything here.

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majesticpossum · 8 years

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1000 Question Challenge

Hey rats, I have decided to do the 1000 question challenge because I'm still at home and bored as hell so either read it or ignore idc.Because i did all of these bitches at once and it took me two hours i challenge all of you rats because i fucking hated that lmao. k bye.

1000 Question Survey The Basics 1.) Your name: Abigail

2.) Nicknames: Abby, Abs, and Abbers

3.) Do you like these nicknames?: Sure

4.) Location: USA- Indiana

5.) Age:18.

6.) Birthday: June 14th

7.) Zodiac sign: Gemini

8.) Parents names: Iige & Anne

9.) Siblings?: 2 younger brothers

10.) Pets: I have 3 cats: Rudy, Oliver & Mary Francis, One Fish: Spoopy

11.) Number of rooms in your house: Like 18? Idk 12.) Religion: Catholic

13.) If so-practicing?: Yea Boi

14.) Male or Female?: Female.

15.) Is your family close?: In a way

What are your favorite 16.) Foods: ITALIAN

17.) TV shows: Parks N Rec, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, New Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Friends and basically anything else on my Netflix list

18.) Movies: Pulp Fiction, Narnia Movies, High School Musical, Evita, Mamma Mia and a lot

19.) Actors: Dylan O’Brien

20.) Actresses: Julie Andrews is my grandma

21.) Books: I’m a Harry Potter girl. And Shane Dawson’s books are fab

22.) Artists: Little Mix, Halsey, Drake and Beyonce

23.) Types of Music: Everything but country lmao

24.) Video Games: MarioKart for days

25.) Computer Games: 2048??

26.) Outfits: I’m not about to post some ootd pics so no

27.) Stores: Vineyard Vines, Kohls, Charlotte Russe, Aerie and Pink lol

28.) Sports: Volleyball

29.) Colors: PINK

30.) Numbers: 10

31.) Websites: Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Moodle (lmao)

32.) Cartoons characters: Abbycadabby bitch

33.) TV Channels: Bravo & E!

34.) Made For TV Movies: GRUMP CAT’S CHRISTMAS

35.) Comedians: Zane Hijazi and all those people

36.) Comediennes: CHRISTINE SYDELKO

37.) Hair products: All Aveda hunty ;)

38.) Makeup Products: I wear Sephore mascara and thats all

39.) Kind of Pens: The kind that let you write?

40.) Kind of Shows: Comedy

41.) Pieces of Jewelry: Necklaces and Ear Rings

42.) Kinds of Soap: Organic

43.) Kinds of Shampoo: Aveda

44.) Game Systems: Wii I guess

45.) CD s: Anything by Beyonce fam

46.) Snacks: Tostitos

47.) Past times: NAPS

48.) Things to do on the weekend: Sleep and be with my friends

49.) Magazines: Any celeb magazine is something I’ll read

50.) Animals: CATS

Clothing 51.) Favorite Brand of Clothing?: Vineyard Vines all day every day

52.) Favorite sweatpants: My HS Ones

53.) What is your everyday outfit?: Something last minute thrown together

54.) Do you wear a uniform to school?: I did

55.) Do you like it?: Depends on the day

56.) What is your favorite clothing store?: I already did this

57.) Do you try to dress like other people?: Ya, 2008 Lady Gaga :]

58.) Do you consider yourself to be trendy?: In the snobby white house wife community? Probably, yea

59.) What kind of shoes do you wear?: Boots and Sperrys

60.) Do you like funky shoelaces?: No

61.) Do you wear hats?: In the summer sometimes

62.) Do you wear a lot of jewelry?: My cross necklace and ear rings

63.) If so, what?: oh shit wrong line

64.) Do you wear belts?: Ha no

65.) Do you wear skirts?: Not since high school

66.) Do you wear revealing clothing?: Sometimes.. A girl’s gotta live

67.) Do you like the Eskimo look?: no

68.) Do you wear big pimpin coats?: no lol

69.) Do you carry a purse or bag?: purse

70.) If so, what is it like?: It’s a pink coach purse

School 71.) What are your grades like?: I got all A’s & B’s this semester

72.) Do you wish you could change your performance in school?: I can always do better

73.) Are you failing anything?: no

74.) Do you take a language?: fuck no

75.) If so which language?: N/A

76.) Who is your favorite teacher?: My hipster Theo professor

77.) Do you decorate your locker?: If by locker you mean dorm then yes

78.) Do you decorate your bookbag?: Do I? no. Did Aerin? Yes.

79.) If so, with what?: she spilt a fuck ton of paint on it

80.) Do you draw on yourself in school?: no

81.) Do you doodle all over your notebooks?: In calc i did lol

82.) Do you take art?: not anymore

83.) Do you walk to school or are you driven?: I drive to campus but I walk to my classes

84.) Do you like school?: YES

85.) How big is your school?: Decently big

86.) Do a lot of your friends go to your school?: Pretty much

87.) Do you wish you could change schools?: Nope

88.) Are you on the Honor/Merit roll?: in high school i was on the honor roll but now its called the dean’s list

89.) Do you participate in school plays?: yesh

90.) Are you in any clubs/which ones?: Choir, Special Olympics, Yoga, IM Volleyball and something else I’m forgetting

Your Room (I’m gonna do my dorm) 91.) What color is your room?: White bc we can’t paint them

92.) Is it messy or clean?: usually in the middle

93.) What are on your bedsheets?: bright blue

94.) Do you have posters on your wall?: yes

95.) If so, of what?: I have a hamilton poster, and a shit ton of ND stuff lol go Irish

96.) Do you have a TV in your room?: Yes.

97.) A computer?: Yes, a laptop.

98.) A radio?: no

99.) An alarm clock?:Nope, I use a phone

100.) A stereo?: no

101.) What is under your bed?: tubs of extra clothes, food, and whatever else I need in college

102.) Do you have a big closet?: hell no

103.) Do you write on your walls?: Nope.

104.) Do you have any beads hanging up?: Nope.

105.) If so, what design?: ^^^^^

106.) Is your ceiling decorated?: ya

107.) If so, of what?: these little star shaped stickers that glow in the dark

108.) Do you decorate your door?: yeah

109.) With what?: white board and flyers

110.) Carpet? No, Wood floor

Music 111.) What are you favorite bands?: Little Mix is my current love

112.) Do you own a lot of CD s?: A good amount

113.) How many exactly?: Hell Idk

114.) Do you download music?: yes.

115.) What are your favorite songs?: PRIVATE SHOW BY LITTLE MIX IS MY JAM

116.) Do you listen to the radio?: Only when I’m in the car.

117.) Do you like loud music?: Love it. >:)

118.) Do you think its obnoxious when people drive down the street with their stereos all the way up blasting the kind of music you loathe?: Not really

119.) Do you like rap?: Sure

120.) Do you like country?: ugh no

121.) What TV shows are you glued to?: GREYS

122.) Are you a couch potato?: I invented the term

123.) Do you watch the news?: No but I do check Twitter

124.) Are you easily influenced by the people on TV?: Yes, Kim K i my god

125.) Who is your favorite TV star?: Kim K

126.) Do you watch late night TV?: Nah.

127.) Do you have more than 100 channels on your TV?: Yeh

128.) Do you actually care about any of those above 100?: idk

129.) Do you watch the Spanish channel just for fun?: Nope.

130.) What is your take on commercials?: I want to go into advertisement so I like them

131.) How big is your TV?: 42 inches

132.) Do you use a remote or change it manually?: remote

133.) When you see something on TV do you run out and buy it as soon as possible?: usually no

134.) Do you like dramas?: Yes.

135.) Do you like comedies?: Yes.

136.) Comedy Central-good or bad?: I’ve never really watched it.

137.) Are you obsessive over anyone on TV?: Dylan O’Brien is a hottie

138.) Do you watch any sports on TV/which ones?: Football and any other ND sport lol

139.) Do you watch music videos?:Sometimes.

140.) Do you like watching I Love the 80’s even if you weren’t living in the 80’s?: Never seen it

Morals/Beliefs 141.) Religion?: Catholic

142.) Do you go to church regularly?:Erm.... sorta?

142.) Pro-life?: YEAH BABY (get it?)

143.) Pro-choice?: No

144.) Are you a virgin?: No

145.) Do you believe in God?: Ya

146.) Jesus?: Is my main man

147.) Allah?: Nope, not my thing

148.) Buddha?: Nope, not my thing

149.) Do you have crosses hanging in your house?: Hella crosses lol

150.) Do you believe in the true meaning of Christmas ?: Yeah

Friends 151.) Who are your best friends?: Emma, Joel, Katie, Ayari, Joseph, Aerin, Bri, and all my dudes

152.) Do you have a lot of friends?: Yea

153.) Who is your funniest friend?: Either Aerin or Scott

154.) Craziest?: AERIN

155.) Weirdest?: Scott

156.) Prettiest: All of them

157.) Fanciest?: Joey

158.) Sportiest?: Emma or Katie

159.) Girliest?: All my girl friends

160.) Mellowest?: Max or Reilly

161.) Stupidest?: ;)

162.) Smartest?: They all smart

163.) Thugest?: Idk maybe Greg? But even then he’s like a teddy bear

164.) Do you have a lot of acquaintances?: yeah

165.) Are you friends with any of your teachers?: From college? No. HS, yes

166.) Are you friends with any friends parents?: Yeah!

167.) Are you really outgoing only around your friends?: I’m outgoing all the time, but more with my friends. 168.) Are you comfortable around your friends?: Very... a little too comfortable

169.) Are you easily influenced by your friends?: Yes.

170.) Are you part of a clique?:in high school i was, now i’m a floater

171.) Do you make new friends easily?: I think so.

172.) Do you have a lot of friends online?: no

173.) Where did you meet them?: N/A

174.) Do you have a lot of LJ friends?: tf is that

175.) Do you sleep over at friends houses a lot?: Houses? no. Dorms? yea.

176.) Do you make yourself at home when you go to other friends houses?: sorta

177.) Do your friends rub off on you a lot?: Yes.

178.) Could you live one day without your friends?: NO

179.) Rate your social life on a scale of 1-10: 8.5

180.) How is this challenge so far?: This takes forever

This or That

181.)

Book bag

/Messenger bag

182.) Punk/Emo

183.)

Rock/Rap

184.)

Jay-Z

/Nas

185.) Justin/Clay

186.) Ruben/Clay

187.)

Cat

/Dog

188.) PS2/Xbox

189.)

DVD

s/VHS

190.)

Cds

/Tapes

191.) Big screen/small screen

192.)

Movies at home/in the theater

193.)

Popcorn/Candy

194.)

Jacket/Coat

195.) Real fur/

Fake fur

196.) sister/

brother

197.)

Home/House

198.) Espanol/Deutsch

199.)

Art/Computer

200.)

Laptop/Desktop

201.) Pepsi/

Coke

202.)

Orange/Apple

203.)

Phone/Computer

204.)

/Letters

205.) Big/Small

206.)

Pizza/Ravioli

207.)

Baby/Toddler

208.) 16/

209.) CSI/

210.)

Superman/Spiderman

211.) Kilborn/Conan

212.) Letterman/Leno

213.)

SNL

/MadTV

214.) Flinstones/Jetsons

216.)

Boxers

/Briefs

217.)

Pants

/Skirts

218.)

Skirts/Skorts

219.)

Fork

/Spoon

220.)

People/InTouch

Are you 221.) Gothic? no 222.) a freak? only in the sheets HAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry 223.) a computer nerd? (Not in the tech-y, gaming way, but just that I’m on the computer a lot) 224.) a science freak? Ha I WISH 225.) a sports fan? CHEER CHEER FOR OLE NOTRE DAME 226.) One of those people that sit in the back of the room during an exam and cough and sniff the whole time? no 227.) a class clown? no 228.) funny? hell yeah 229.) serious? depends 230.) intellectual? i wish 231.) an LOTR nerd? if that means lord of the rings then i am the farthest from it 232.) a failure? :’) 233.) a success? :”) 234.) a loser? Loser Like Me was the best song Glee ever did 235.) popular? Popular is the best song from Wicked 236.) lazy? yep 237.) outgoing? ya 238.) shy? nah 239.) friendly? yea 240.) easily annoyed? yep 241.) tolerant of others views? sure 242.) addicted to crack? damn you got me (no) 243.) addicted to any other drug? no 244.) a partier? sometimes 245.) naturally hyperactive? yes 246.) wild? no 247.) sporty? no 248.) smelly? no 249.) an insomniac? sometimes 250.) a procrastinator? YEAH 251.) a criminal? no 252.) a crackpot? no 253.) a bookworm? sorta 254.) hairy? no 255.) good at playing basketball? HA 256.) in high school? no 257.) in prison? no 258.) from mars? yea 259.) straight? yea 260.) gay? no

Random Questions 261.) Do you like frosted flakes?: no

262.) Are you easily mistaken as being someone of the opposite sex?: no

263.) Do you like nuns?: Yeah

264.) Is this survey getting on your nerves?: Slowly but surely yes

265.) Do you use correct English?: Yeah

266.) Hablar Espanol?: Sí

267.) Spien Deutsch?: tf

268.) Speak English?: yea

269.) Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?:no :((((

270.) Do you know what Draculas first name is?: Bob

271.) Do you like Russian names?: I think the name Silvia is pretty, I was on a volleyball team with a girl named Silva and she was great

272.) Like Vlad?: Not particularly.

273.) Homer?: ? Not really.

274.) Are you a busy body?: no

275.) Do you like to glue quarters to the floor and see how many people try and pick them up and proceed to fail?: Nope.

276.) Do you like to go mini golfing dressed as old men?: I’ve never done that.

277.) Do you like to roller skate?: yes, but Im bad at it

278.) Who do you wish was president?: B E R N I E

279.) What do you think of Pres. Bush?: I was too young at the time

280.) Do you play Roller Coaster Tycoon?: Ugh bringing back the memz

281.) Are you insecure?: no

282.) Are you influenced by ancient Greek culture?: Heavily.

283.) Roman culture?: ONLY ECCI ROMANI ;)

284.) What kind of architecture do you like?: the kind that stays up?

285.) What style architecture is your house?: idk rich white suburb?

286.) Do you like to shop in big cities?: YES

287.) Do you like to clean your room?: sure

288.) Do you hate when people sit in the back of the room during an exam and cough and sniffle the whole time to break your concentration?: No but I feel bad for them bc that sucks

289.) Do you think that clocks are dumb?: Nope.

290.) Does anybody really know what time it is?: It��s summer time.

291.) Does anybody really care?: yeah

292.) Who sings that song?: what song fam

293.) Do you like Chicago?: LOVE

294.) Does Nevada have a football team?: The state doesn’t but the college there does and BOY we KILLED them in Football

295.) What did you get on the last big test you took? 97 on my Theo Exam bc Im a baller

296.) Do you pace in circles when you get nervous?: no

297.) Do you play with dolls?: no

298.) Do you like Star Trek?: I’ve never seen it.

299.) What’s 2+9+9?: 20

300.) Do you like filling out these surveys?: I used to this shit is too much am

Money 301.) Do you have a job?: Not at the moment, I’m a full time college student but I do work over breaks when I am home

302.) What do you do?: I was a waitress

303.) Does your boss like you?: She did when I worked

304.) How much do you get paid?: 10 an hour plus tips

305.) Do you have your own bank account?:Yes.

306.) Do you have a credit card?: Yea

307.) a checkbook?:Nope.

308.) Are you a big spender?:Yes.

309.) Do you go to the mall a lot?: All.The.Time.

310.) In an average week, how much money do you spend?: Maybe like $50.

311.) Do you know how much a peso would be worth in the United States today?:I have no idea.

312.) How about a Franc?: I don’t know.

313.) Do you really care?: Not particularly.

314.) Do you like your job if you have one?: I liked working there, I had a lot of friends

315.) If you don’t have one, do you wish you had one?: No Im in school now

316.) Do you wish you had more money?: doesn’t everyone?

317.) Why?: bc money is fun

318.) Would you rather be filthy rich with no friends or dirt poor with tons of friends and a dog?: Dirt poor with a dog

319.) Do you have a cool wallet?: It’s Vera Bradley so ig

320.) What is the largest amount of money you ever had in your possession at one time?: 2,000 in cash (My high school open house)

321.) What are you wearing?: PJ pants with a Bernie 2016 T shirt lmao

322.) What are you listening to?: My brother talk to my mom

323.) Who are you talking to?: No one

324.) What are you doing other than filling out this survey?: Hating myself for doing this challenge but I’m already on 324 so I can’t give up now

325.) How is your hair?: In braids

326.) Do you have anything on your feet?: socks.

327.) Are you cold or warm?: WARMTH

328.) Do you have any jewelry on?: Ear Rings

329.) Do you have any makeup on?: LOL

330.) Name 4 things laying around your desk: Fish, Pen, IPad, Books

331.) Pick up a book laying near you and type a random sentence from a random page: no fuck that

332.) Open a cabinet near you and describe what’s in it: that sounds like effort I don’t wanna give

334.) Should you be doing something else now?: No

335.) Why aren’t you doing it?: I don’t have anything to do.

336.) Is your room a mess now?: ehhhh

337.) Is your mom nagging at you to clean it?: no

338.) What are any people around you doing?: Mom is on the couch, brother j chillin and the cats are being cats

339.) Who are you thinking about right now?: my hand hurts from typing this shit

340.) Are you doing anything illegal?: no

Looks 341.) How much time do you spend on your appearance in the morning?: Usually about 30 minutes.

342.) Do you wear makeup regularly?: Mascara yeah

343.) If so, what?: bitch i just said

344.) Are your looks important to you?: MINE? yeah

345.) Do you want to change the way you look?: only that my hair would grow back quicker

346.) What would you change?: i.just.told.you.

347.) How do you usually wear your hair?: curly

348.) Do you dye your hair?: no

349.) Do you straighten you hair?: Yes.

350.) What color is your hair naturally?: brown

351.) What is your eye color?: brown

352.) Do you wear colored contacts?: No

353.) Do you look like your parents?:Yes.

354.) Is that good or bad?:It’s good.

355.) Do you turn strange colors sometimes?: no, that would be bad

356.) Why?: what

357.) Do you have any piercings?: My ears.

358.) Any tattoos?: Nope.

359.) Ever gotten a makeover?: Yes.

360.) Do you experiment a lot with new looks?: eh

Travel 361.) Have you ever been out of the country?: No

362.) Out of your state?: yes

363.) Out of your city?: Yes.

364.) Do you go on a vacation every year?: a couple times a year

365.) If so, to where and for how long?: depends, we go somewhere for spring and fall break then a long summer vacation

366.) Have you ever ridden in a plane?: Yup.

367.) In a boat?:Yup.

368.) Do you visit relatives that live far away from you at all?: my aunt in her house in southern florida

369.) ON average, every week how many miles do you travel?: depends if I'm home then not too far and if i go back to school thats like 130 some miles

370.) do you drive? yes

Cars 371.) Favorite car?: A 2015 titanium flex fuel Ford Focus baby.. or a Tesla that my dad is getting :/

372.) Color for that car?: BLUE

373.) Do you have your license?:yes

374.) Permit?: i did once

375.) Do you like fast cars?: sure

Sleep 376.) How long so you sleep each night on average?: 8 or 9

377.) Is this enough?: sure

378.) Do you dream every night?: no

379.) Describe a weird dream you had: I made out with a teacher I had in High School

380.) Do you sleep in awkward positions?: Sometimes.

381.) do you sleep in school? not in class

382.) If so, do you wake up with different patterns all over your face from whatever you were laying on?: no

383.) What position do you usually wake up in?: on my side

389.) Does your alarm clock wake you up?: sadly

390.) What kind of alarm clock do you have?: I use my phone.

Going Out 391.) How often do you go to parties?: not every weekend, but i go out enough to not be considered lame

392.) Are you a crazy party hopper?: depends on the parties I’m at

393.) Do you like wild parties with lots of people?: Dorm parties? no. House Party? sure.

394.) Are you a social butterfly?: I think so.

395.) Do you go clubbing?: I have been once

396.) Ever been drunk?: ;)

397.) Ever get kicked out of a party?: Nope.

398.) For what?: N/A

399.) Do you throw a lot of parties?: No

400.) Do you go to the mall a lot?: Too much

401.) Do you go with a lot of friends?: I have never been to the mall alone

402.) Do you like going to arcades?: sure

403.) Is DDR a cool game?: Idk what that is

404.) What about those racing games?: not my thing

405.) How many parties have you been to in the last 3 months?: maybe 4? If you don’t count laid back christmas parties

406.) How many formal dances have you been to in the last year or so?: I guess 3 if you count Prom and Home Coming in hs then formal in college

407.) Do you dress up when you go out?: yeppers

408.) Do you go to see a lot of movies on the weekend?: not really

409.) Who has the best parties?: Joey Dating and Stuff 410.) Are you involved romantically with anyone right now?: Yes.

412.) Do you wish you were with someone right now?: I wish I was with my boyfriend, he lives far away 413.) Do you have a secret crush?: no

414.) Who?: N/A

415.) Do they know?: N/A

416.) How many people have you dated in the passed year?: two

417.) Kissed in the past year?: two

418.) Do you know what 143 means?: no

419.) How many people have you said “I love you” to?: one

420.) Did you mean it?: at the time i did

421.) If you didn’t mean in, why did you bother saying it?: no

422.) Do you say I Love You to your friends all the time?: yeah

423.) Where do you go out on dates?: Dances, Dinner, Movie Nights, Lunches, or anything really.

424.) What’s the most fun date you ever had?: Stephen (my boyfriend) and I went to this really cool shopping area by our schools and it was just a lot of fun

425.) If you break up with someone do you cry your heart out while listening to breakup songs and then in an hour your fine again with a new love-buddy?: Honestly depends

Would Win In a Fight? 426.) Britney or Christina 427.) Justin or JC 428.) Frodo or Sam 429.) B2K or Nsync 430.) Cartman or Bart Simpson 431.) Dracula or Frankenstein 432.) Triumph or Simon Cowell 433.) Conan or Jay 434.) Rosie O Donnell or Boy George 435.) Carmen Electra or Pamela Anderson 436.) Tommy Lee or the guy who’s married to Carmen Electra right now 437.) Bill O'Reilly or Chris Matthews

Inspiration 438.) Who are your heroes?: This woman I’ve grown up knowing, she is a holocaust survivor.

439.) Why do you look up to them?: she was in the fucking holocaust

440.) Do you wish you could be just like them?: i do not want to go through the holocaust

441.) State the most inspiring quote you know: “fuck bitches get money”

442.) Do your parents inspire you?: Totally

443.) Do any of your friends inspire you?: yeah

More Random Questions 444.) Are nutri-grain bars good or bad?: Never had one 445.) Do you eat a lot of donuts? hell yeah

446.) What kind?: ALL

447.) Do you like chocolate?: too much

448.) Has your uncle ever gone to jail for unpaid parking tickets?: no

449.) Do you see dancing giraffes and living gnomes in your sleep?: I’m sick of this bullshit challenge

450.) Do you like headphones that go in your ears or stay out?: stay out

451.) Do you like mini blinds?: I’m not sure if i know what that means

452.) Have you ever broken your mini blinds with a hanger?: once again: what?

453.) Have you ever gotten into a violent fit of rage and tried to murder someone?: no

454.) How is this survey so far?: ugh

.455.) Do you like the movie Fantasia ?: it’s just kinda there

What s Your Take On 456.) Life: it is too short

457.) The world: it would be a much better place if Julie Andrews ran it

458.) President Bush: okay when was this even made

459.) Ahhhhnold: pardon?

460.) Gary Coleman running for governor: GARY FROM SPONGEBOB IS COOL

461.) Howard Stern: isn’t he the bald guy from America’s Got Talent and Deal or No Deal?

462.) The war in Iraq: I wish it wasn’t a thing

463.) the economy: fuck AP Macro

464.) jay-z retiring: but Bey is still going strong ;)))

465.) school: I like school

466.) going to college: ITS THE BEST

467.) marriage: is for everyone! love is love!

468.) football: ND or die

469.) baseball: ND or die

470.) people cutting themselves for pleasure: people do that? 471.) Pick your nose? don't do that 472.) Untie your shoe laces every time you take your shoes off? lol 473.) Fart a lot? my brother does lol 474.) Burp a lot? my brother does lolz 475.) Do stupid things in public? me when I'm drunk 476.) Terrorize innocent people on golf courses? why did my mind go to Troy and Gabriella in HSM2 477.) Have random hallucinations? do hugs not drugs 478.) Wear shirts with quotes on them? :/ 479.) Wear patches and/or pins on your clothing? it isn’t 2003 480.) Wear leg warmers? it isn't 1980 481.) Sing in the shower? hell yeah 482.) Play any card game? sure 483.) Sleep with a teddy bear? Patrick Grisley <3 484.) Take your pet for a walk? I have cats and a fish bro 485.) Have a snake? I would 486.) Have webbed feet? I am not a duck 487.) Wear colorful socks? sure 488.) Have a life? I think I have that 489.) Drink coffee? I drink to much 490.) Drink tea? yea!

Internet 491.) What are your screen names?: abbycadabby bitch or majesticpossum 492.) Emails?: guess.

493.) Do you have a website?:no

494.) Do you have a live journal or dead journal?: leave the journals alone

495.) Do you ever get off the computer?: at this point in this challenge I’ll die on the computer

496.) What are your favorite websites?: Vineyeardvines.com

497.) What are your favorite online stores?: see questions 496

498.) Do you buy a lot of stuff online?: ;))))))))

499.) If so, what?: clothes... a lot of it

500.) What’s the last thing you bought online?: Ear rings

501.) Do you have a lot of online friends?: no

502.) Have you ever met any of them in person?: no

503.) Who’s the best person to talk to online?: i don’t talk to people

504.) Do you ever catch yourself using computer language outloud?:I say lol too much or smh

505.) Do you use AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, MSN ?: LOL HUNTY its 2017

506.) What’s your desktop background?: Me, Ayari, Katie and Aerin on a couch

507.) What’s your AIM icon?: N/A

508.) How many hours do you spend online in a week on average?: too many

509.) Do you have a webcam or a mic?: in my computer I do

510.) If your computer shut down for a week, would you die?: If i was at school I would

Presents 511.) What’s the best present you’ve ever received?: The gift of life

512.) What’s the worst present you’ve ever received?: The gift of life

513.) Do you think it’s better to give than to receive?: I just thought of that in a sexual way

514.) Do you feel guilty when people get you a great present, but you didn’t get them one?: I always give people presents fam

515.) Do you make up a lie to cover it up?: no

More Favorites 516.) Favorite radio station: 99.5 WZPL or the LA and NY Sirus Pop channels

517.) Favorite day of the week: FRIDAY

518.) Favorite fruit: strawberries fuck me up

519.) Favorite vegetable: Spinach.

520.) Favorite lunch meat: :/

521.) Favorite candy bar: All

522.) Favorite nail polish: Essie.

523.) Favorite chair: my chair at home is hella comfy

524.) Favorite early morning show: I sleep through the mornings

525.) Favorite morning talk show host: Ellen?

526.) Favorite writing paper: college ruled no doubt

527.) Favorite section of the newspaper: the comics

528.) Favorite sibling (if you have any): I like them both

529.) Favorite distant relative: My aunts

530.) Favorite dessert: all

531.) Favorite weather: warm and sunny

532.) Favorite season: Summer.

533.) Favorite shoe brand: SPERRY

534.) Favorite lunch: Anything with mozzarella sticks

535.) Favorite breakfast: FRENCH TOAST STICKS

536.) Favorite author: John Green

537.) Favorite place to see concerts: Lucas Oil Stadium or Stephan Center

538.) Favorite band to see live: 1D bitches

539.) Favorite survey you’ve ever gotten: fuck you

More This or That 540.) Nike/Adidas 541.) Alone/With friends 542.) Work/Have off 543.) Pomegranate/Persimmon 544.) Raspberry/Blueberry 545.) Cheech and Chong/Abbot and Costello 546.) Acid/Shrooms 547.) Who/The Who 548.) Older/Newer 549.) Regular pretzel/Pretzel log 550.) Have sex/Make love Bitch they both fun tf

Have you ever 551.) Used a swear word the wrong way and made it sound completely stupid? probably 552.) Skipped school? ;) 553.) Done drugs? no 554.) Been drunk? ;)) 555.) Been so drunk you couldn’t remember your own name? No, I keep my wits about me 556.) Had to look after someone who was on drugs? no 557.) Gone insane? probably 558.) Been in the hospital over night? yea 559.) Been in a car accident? yea 560.) A bike accident? yea 561.) Broken a bone? no but I'm about to knock on some wood 562.) Sprained a wrist or an ankle? i don't think so? 563.) Been online for more than 8 hours at one shot? probably 564.) Loved somebody so much it made you cry? YES 565.) Watched TV for more than 11 hours straight? oh hell yeah, i probably did that today 566.) More than 12 hours? yeah 567.) How about 5 hours? yeah 568.) Slipped in public and had everyone laugh at you? yes 569.) Passed out from hunger? no 570.) Been to a LAN party? and that is...?

Other Stuff 571.) Do you like going to basketball games?: If its ND then hell yea

572.) How about swim meets?: fuck that

573.) Tennis matches?: never been

574.) Do you like Family Feud?: well I don’t hate it

575.) The ones with Richard?: is that a dick joke

576.) How about Match Game?: never seen it?

577.) Do you watch Game Show network regularly?: Nope.

578.) Do you believe in dream catchers?: not really but they can't hurt ya know

579.) Do transvestites appeal to you?: I support the cause

580.) Have you ever been to New York City?: Yes.

581.) Do you wish you could live somewhere else?: Washington DC

582.) Do you dress in different ways to look like other people?: no

583.) Yes or No: Christina Aguilera has talent: yeah

584.) Do you like TiVo?: I’ve never had it

585.) Do you have a TiVo?: Nope

586.) VCR s or DVD players?: DVD players.

587.) Are you an animal rights activist?: Hell yeah

588.) A vegan?: no

589.) Vegetarian?: no but I was for a year

590.) What do you want to be when you grow up?: Marketing person

Do you know 591.) Who won the Super Bowl last year?: BRONCOS BABY LETS GO

592.) Two years ago?: I wanna say Seahawks

593.) Who hosted Family Feud after Richard?: Steve Harvey!

594.) The author of “Frankenstein”?: FUCk i knew this last year we did it

595.) Who the Canadian Prime Minister is?: the really cool guy who supports the LGBT movement. sorry reilly i don't know am

596.) The Queen of England?: Queen Elizabeth

597.) Prime Minister of Britain?: I don’t know since he stepped down

598.) Espanol?: a little

599.) Deutsch?: no 600.) Japanese?: no 601.) Français?: no 602.) Chinese?: no 603.) Portuguese?:no 604.) (If you don’t, do you wish you knew any of these languages?): probably all of them

606.) The capital of the US?: Washington, DC.

607.) All of the Canadian provinces?: ONTARIO....thats all I know. I have a friend from Toronto

608.) The two most commonly used languages in the world?: English and maybe Chinese?

609.) How to fly a kite?: yea 610.) How to surf?: yeah, but not well 611.) Skateboard?: no 612.) How about rollerblade?: lmao no but my dad did in college 613.) What year the Korean war started?: ....

Emotions 614.) What is the one thing in the world that makes you teary eyed?:Those sad ASPCA commercials

615.) Happy eyed?: CATS

616.) What song always makes you sad?: Moments by one direction

617.) Happy?: All Night Longer by Sammy Adams

618.) Which person always makes you really happy?: Stephen!

619.) Really depressed?: my ex

620.) Are you a really emotional person?: YeS

621.) Are you a naturally depressed person?: during the winter i am

622.) A naturally happy person?: I think so

623.) How long does it take you to overcome a bad emotion?: Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days.

624.) What do you do?: cry

625.) What song do you think was written about your life?: Wonderland by Taylor Swift.

The Last Person To 626.) Who was the last person to hug you?: My dad

627.) Talk to you?: My mom

628.) IM you?: i cant remember 2003

629.) Touch you physically?: does that mean sexually

630.) Touch you emotionally?: idk

631.) Hurt you?: probably me because I run into everything

632.) Make you feel gooooood?: ;) stepho

633.) Scold you?: probs my parents

634.) Praise you?: also my parents

635.) Say “Hello” to you?: my brother. he literally was singing the Adele song

Weaknesses 636.) Are you secure with yourself?: I have my moments

637.) What do other people think of you?: They think Im bubbly

638.) What kind of person do you see yourself as?: Awkward but means well

639.) What is your one maaaaajjoooorrrr weakness?: I get attached way to easily

640.) Do you consider yourself to be a strong person?: eh

641.) A weak person?: ehh

642.) Are you stressed out?: pretty much always

643.) If someone insults you, can you just brush it off or move on?:yeah but I get petty as hell

644.) Do you hold grudges against others that insult you?: not really

645.) If you are sitting in class and you say something really dumb or do something really stupid and everyone starts laughing at you, can you brush it off easily?: I probably will blush and then cry

MORE Random Stuff 671.) Name all the Teletubbies in order right now no thinking: Tinky Winky, Po and Lala

672.) Do you like to blurt out random sayings in a conversation for no reason?: oh hell yeah

673.) Do you talk Simmish?: what

674.) Oday ouyay peaksay igpay atinlay?: bitch what the fuck even..

675.) Isn’t pig latin the best?: fuck off

676.) Do you have a distinct smell?: my perfume

677.) Do you know anyone who has a distinct smell that you wish you could bottle and make a perfume or something?: no

678.) Have you ever read Gone With the Wind?: part or it

679.) Did you ever have a crazy eighth grade teacher?: all of them

680.) Are you in an asylum?: Nope.

681.) College?: yeah

682.) What is your favorite scent?: Flowery

683.) Do you eat chocolate?: ALWAYS

684.) Where is your favorite restaurant?: anywhere with mozzarella sticks

685.) What is the best feeling in the world?: orgasm LMAO

686.) What is the worst feeling in the world?: not orgasming LMAO

687.) Do like Spongebob?:Yes!

688.) Do you think he s gay?: spongebob?

689.) How about Squidward? A little off track?: he’s a tad gay

690.) Do you like to make up stupid excuses in school like “I was too busy getting raped by a bull to do my homework”?: i’m honestly triggered by this questions wtf

691.) Do you do your homework every night?: yesssssss

692.) Do you usually get a lot?: yea

693.) “OOOOOO poor baby”: okay literally fuck off

694.) Have you ever been French kissed by a dog?: ;))))))

695.) Have you ever fed a dog or cat out of your mouth?: surprisingly no

696.) Ever eaten a doggie biscuit?: ... I dont wanna talk about it

697.) Don’t you wish they would make them for humans too?: no

698.) Where is your second home?: my dorm lmao

699.) Are dollar stores cool?: hell yeah

700.) How many phone numbers do you have memorized that you don’t need to look up?: maybe like 3

701.) Do you wish your teeth would get whiter?: sure

702.) Can you do the limbo?: smh

703.) Do you make New Year’s Resolutions?: HA no

Which Friend 704.) Has the best taste in music?: Katie because it is exactly like mine

705.) Has the coolest name?: Ayari

706.) Has the best taste in movies?: Not Michael lmao

707.) Has the nicest hair?: Joseph has got some quality hair

708.) Has the fittest body?: me bitch

709.) Do you hang out with most?: All of them

710.) Has the coolest parents?: idk

711.) Lives closest to you?: they all live either in Northern Indiana or out of state

712.) Lives the farthest from you?: Joseph, in LA

713.) Can you relate to most?: Katie

714.) Is the best for advice on anything?:Greg

715.) Can you make you laugh the easiest?: Aerin or Joseph

Word Association! 716.) blow: job 717.) lollipop: i want one 718.) obnoxious: me 719.) cold: water 720.) hot: mess 721.) smell: Goof 722.) car: wash? 723.) rain: freezing 724.) wet: ;) I'm sorry i need to chill but its been a month since I've seen my boyfriend so SUE me 725.) steamy: see questions 724 726.) bite: hickeys 727.) beer: i need one 728.) rock: HARD ROCK 729.) hard: ROCK HARD ROCK 730.) soft: pillows

OK Here’s the dirty part oh shit whaddup 731.) Have you ever played a game that required the removal of clothing?: sex?

732.) What’s your favorite place to be kissed?: anywhere within reason

733.) Are you a tease?: LOL thats the one thing I’ve got going for me

734.) Spit or swallow: Swallow don't be a prude

More “Do you” 735.) Twirl your hair? yes 736.) Hate yourself? no 737.) Want to kill yourself? no 738.) Dream of death and blood and gore? no 739.) Go into frequent fits of depression and/or rage? no 740.) Touch your face a lot? yes 741.) Watch MTV? sometimes 742.) Have any lesbian/gay/bi friends? yes 743.) Consider yourself tolerant of other people’s differences? yes 744.) Wish you could fly? eh 745.) Wish you could be invisible? eh 746.) Read minds? yes 747.) Watch wrestling? fuck no 748.) Like filling out love surveys? fuck this 749.) Work out? yes 750.) Play any sports?yes

More Have You Ever 751.) Gotten a DUI? no 752.) A speeding ticket? thank god no 753.) Been in a fist fight? no 754.) Participated in a backyard wrestling match? no 755.) Considered a life as a criminal? no 756.) Held a gun? yes 757.) Considered prostituting yourself for money? college is hard 758.) Been used? no 759.) Been rejected? yeah 760.) Experimented with homosexuality? no 761.) Threw up on a roller coaster? no 762.) Laughed so hard you peed your pants? yes 763.) Slept more than 13 hours straight? hell yeah 764.) Tackled the mailman? no 765.) Laugh so hard you cried? no 766.) Been on the phone for more than 5 hours straight? no 767.) Done crack? no 768.) Done cocaine? no 769.) Passed out during school? yes 770.) Had unprotected sex? no

More Random Questions!!!!!!!!!! 771.) Do you know what boricua/moricua/morena mean?: bitch WHAT

772.) What language is spoke in Brazil?: Portuguese.

773.) Can you name all 32 football teams in the NFL?: yes but I'm not gonna do that now

774.) How about every baseball team in MLB?: fuck No.

775.) Do you like hot dogs?: Yes.

776.) Are baseball games fun?: sure

777.) Is 7 a lucky number?: Sure.

778.) Do you believe in Ouiji boards?: idk

779.) Have you ever played a guitar?: yeah

780.) Do you have dreams about becoming famous?: yes

781.) Do you like U2?: YES

782.) Has anyone ever asked you about U2 and you responded “I LOVE U2!” and the other person got really confused?: no

783.) Do you own a CD by the Beatles?: yes

784.) Do you straighten your hair?: Yes.

785.) Do you wear sweat pants?: i live in them

786.) Do you wear black lipstick?: lmao

787.) What kind of headphones do you have?: The Apple earbuds that came with my iPhone.

788.) Do you use your portable CD player a lot?: not since 2008

789.) How often do you need to buy a new CD player?: not since 2007

790.) What is the CD in your CD player right now?: I don’t think anything.

791.) How often do you change your underwear?: every day if not twice

792.) Are you addicted to popping pimples?: no

793.) Do you ever slip and accidentally say “pimping popples” instead of “popping pimples”?: bitch what

794.) Do you have a walk in closet?: yes

795.) Did you ever get stuck in a closet while listening to “Harder to breathe” or whatever by Maroon 5?: no

796.) Do you pray daily?: not always

797.) If you die right now what will happen to you?: Well that would suck

798.) Are you paranoid?: yes

799.) Do you go to thrift stores to shop?: no

800.) Have you ever seen a used pair of underwear for sale?: no but lets not do that people

Which One Are You? 801.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle: the rat thing thats on the show

802.) Power Ranger: The pink one.

803.) Rugrat: angelica

804.) Powerpuff Girl: Bubbles.

805.) Villain: Darth Vader bitches

Do You Own 806.) A cell phone? yes 807.) A CPR certification card? no 808.) A Member s Only jacket? no 809.) A book over 900 pages long? yes 810.) A porno? no 811.) A gun? my family does 812.) A pair of toe socks? no 813.) A portable DVD player? no 814.) A Michael Bolton CD? no 815.) A car? yes 816.) A trucker hat? no 817.) A pair of cut-off shorts? yes 818.) A wife beater? lmao probably 819.) A butcher knife? yes 820.) A pocket knife? no 821.) A Rolex? my dad does 822.) A bike? no 823.) A thong? yes 824.) A bikini? no 825.) A speedo (guys)? i am woman 826.) Anything from Tijuana? no 827.) A drum set? no 828.) An electric guitar? 829.) A signed photo of anyone famous? yes 830.) Any of the “Rocky” movies? no

More Random Questions 831.) Do you have fleas?: No

832.) Quote Aladdin in any way: “Too Close” in the beginning when the camera is in the salesmen’s face

833.) Did you ever play backyard baseball in real life?: yea

834.) How big is your backyard?: not big at all

835.) Do you like hairy backs?: bitch no

836.) Hairy chests?: i personally believe too much is gross but none at all is gross too

837.) Are you attracted to older men/women?: I have never dated someone younger than me

838.) Do you wish you had more hair?: i wish it was longer

839.) What does Prilosec treat?: is that a word

841.) Are you on any medication?: allegories

842.) Do you have asthma?: used to

843.) Do you have an inhaler?: i did

844.) Do you use your inhaler more than 5 times a week?: No

845.) Do you think you need to take medication for this disorder?: what disorder

846.) When was the last time you got a haircut?: last week

847.) What is your hair length?: my boobs

848.) Do you know how to change a tire?: no

849.) Do you know how to change oil in a car?: no but i know how to check it a car needs oil thanks to Stephen and Bri’s shit car

850.) Did a ring ever turn your finger purple/blue/green?: no

851.) Have you ever taken a bus ride to another state?: no

852.) Have you ever taken a bus to the mall?:no

853.) Do you like the show Recess?: thats a blast from the past

854.) What’s your take on the show Judge Judy?: Literal Queen

855.) When did WW2 start?: 1941

856.) When did it end?: 1945

857.) What is your nationality?: American

858.) Where did your family come from?: Germany and England

859.) Have you ever been to Hell?: by hell do you mean Florida in the summer?

860.) Do you believe there is a Satan?: yea

861.) Do you believe in angels?: yes!

862.) Do people always tell you that you look stoned?: people say i act stoned

863.) What percentage of the time are you actually NOT stoned?: 100%.

864.) Do you like to say random words during conversations like “naked” to get people s reactions?: no

865.) Do you own any NKOTB merchandise?: what that mean

866.) Have you ever gotten the urge to bang any member from Menudo?: idk what that is

867.) Aren’t those Menudo kids soooooooooooooo sexy?: I don’t even know who they are.

868.) Do you constantly use away messages even if you are gone for 3 days at one shot?: Nope.

869.) Do you collect anything?:Those pins you get at disney world

870.) Have you ever made a bong from an exhaust pipe?: no

871.) Do you have pothead neighbors?: no

872.) Which is your favorite toe?: my pinky toe

873.) Favorite finger?: middle ;))))

874.) How many wisdom teeth do you have?: 3

875.) Do you have a Kidz Bop CD?: I don’t hate myself

876.) Do you like to watch the Kidz Bop commercials just because they’re so sad and stupid?: no

877.) Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex?: no

878.) If you answered yes to 877, WHY????????!!!: N/A

879.) Do you grind a lot?: at parties.. drunk.. with my boyfriend

880.) Do you like to grate cheese?: grates are scary

881.) Can you sing the Oscar Meyer jingle?: YES

882.) Are you related to someone famous through only 3 degrees of seperation?: what

883.) How about 5 degrees of seperation?: bitch

884.) OK be honest how’s the survey so far?: never ending.

885.) Do you usually like to answer all the questions on surveys?: no

886.) What time is it?: 10:09

887.) Do you use the word uber a lot?: kinda

888.) Do you pretend like you know other languages when you really don’t?: no

889.) Can you take a crap in other people’s houses without feeling awkward?: NO

890.) Have you ever overflowed a toilet in public?:no

891.) What did you do?: N/A

892.) Have you ever heard an old lady say “Fire truck”?: what

893.) Do you swear like a sailor?: yep lmao

894.) Do you think it’s sassy when people of the opposite sex swear every once in a while when they usually don’t?: no

895.) Can you sit on the toilet and take a poo?: can you not do that..?

896.) What term do you like to use for poo the most: crap

897.) What does PMS stand for?: Premenstrual syndrome

898.) Do you like to inhale potpourri?: I mean it smells good ig

899.) Can you say the alphabet backwards without stopping?: nope

900.) How far can you count on your fingers?: 10.

901.) Are outhouses or porta potties ok for you?: fuck no

902.) What is the funniest portapotty company name you have ever seen?: idk

903.) How many people are on your AIM buddy list?: buddy get out of 2005

904.) Do you like the Godfather movies?: I’ve only seen one

905.) How about Good Fellas?: Never seen it.

906.) Watch the Sopranos?: Nope.

907.) Does the mobster life appeal to you?:mobster......Lobster

908.) Do you know anyone in the mob?: 10000% sure my old boss is

909.) Have you ever woken up to find a horse head laying in your bed?: lmao

910.) If you could rename your town to be anything you want, what would you name it?: DirtyBurg

911.) Osama Bin Laden: dead or alive?: I’m triggered this is question 911

912.) Do you wear a lot of bright colors?: no

913.) Do you watch day time soaps?: no but i feel like i should

914.) Do you watch Cartoon Network?: Nope.

915.) Do you use a calculator?: yea

916.) What kind is it?: TI-85???

917.) Do you like pizza to be delivered to you?: hell yeah

918.) Did you ever have to do a science project?: Yup.

919.) Don’t they suck?: yeah.

920.) Did you ever have to help a family member with a science project?: sadly

921.) Do you help out at the Special Olympics?: I do actually

922.) Do you know anyone with mental disabilities?: Yes.

923.) Are you a racist?: no

924.) When you go to restaurants do you eat a lot or try and minimize you intake? food is good

925.) Do you diet?: HA

926.) Do you have trouble sticking to promises?: not really

Hygiene 927.) How often do you shower?: every day

928.) Do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom?: Yes.

929.) How often do you wash your face?: every night and morning

930.) When you bleed do you use a band aid?: Yes.

931.) Do you wash your cuts out with soap and water?: no

932.) Do you wash your hair every day?: yeah

933.) Do you blow your nose a lot?: no

934.) Do you cough a lot?: not unless I'm sick

935.) If so, do you cover your mouth or let the germs fly?: I usually cough into my arm.

936.) Do you wear deodorant regularly?: Yes.

Issues 937.) Do you have any type of mental disability?: I have an anxiety disorder

938.) Do you have OCD?: no

939.) Do you have ADHD?: Nope.

940.) Are you on any medication for any mental disorder?:no

941.) Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?: anxiety

942.) Do you get sick really often and for long periods of time?: no

943.) Have you ever had the chicken pox?: Nope.

944.) The monkey pox?: Nope.

945.) The mumps?: Nope.

946.) The measles?: Nope.

947.) Did you ever have a hole in your heart?: thats an episode of Grey’s Anatomy

The Last Set of Random Questions 948.) Have you ever been on TV?: Yup.

949.) Have you ever been on the radio?: Yup.

950.) In the newspaper?: Yup.

951.) Have you ever been quoted by anyone at all?: Yup.

952.) Do you watch Saved By The Bell?: I used to.

953.) Did you cry when Mr. Rogers died?: I didn’t know until later

954.) Did you ever see the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?: yea

955.) Do you think Frank Zilinski is a moron?: what

956.) Throw me some Polish names: no

957.) What size shoe do you have?: 8

958.) How many pairs of shoes do you have?: I would say like 20

959.) How big is your wardrobe?: Decently large.

960.) How much do you weigh?: 105 pounds.

961.) How tall are you?: 5'9".

962.) Do you have cankles?: Nope.

963.) Do you have fat wrists?: Nope.

964.) Fat thighs?: Nope.

965.) Do you shave your toes?: no

966.) Do you shave your legs?: Yeah.

967.) How often?: All the time

968.) How about those armpits?: Yes.

969.) Are you a germaphobe?: Kind of.

970.) How many legs does an octopus have?: 8.

971.) How many legs do you have?: 2.

972.) Do you have braces?: Nope, but i used to

973.) Are you getting sick of these questions?: YES

974.) Do you snort when you laugh?: Not really.

975.) Do you snore?: no

976.) Do you have your own room?: Yes.

977.) Do you have an overactive bladder?: Nope.

978.) How about an overactive pooper?: Nope.

979.) Have you ever had an out of body experience?: what

980.) Do you know who Tim Burton is and/or do you like him?: yes and eh

981.) How about Tim Curry?: eh

982.) Are you ticklish?: yes but not as bad as my boyfriend lmao

983.) Do you have a gay uncle?: try aunt

984.) A lesbian aunt?: lmao yes

985.) Do you like salad?: Yes.

986.) Have you ever been to a Farmers Market?: Yes.

987.) Ever been to a pig auction?: No thank god

988.) Are you artsy?: sorta?

989.) Do you like to eat pie?: Yeah.

990.) Do you like to say “no pun intended” for no reason?: no i don't hate myself

991.) What’s your favorite pie flavor?: sugar cream bitches

992.) Do you like ice cream cake?: I LOVE IT.

993.) Is the glass half empty or half full?: fuck this

994.) Who was the Lone Ranger’s, nephew’s, horse?: bitch

995.) Do you like cheese?: yes bc thats whats in mozzarella sticks

996.) Do you know Eric Shaun?: Np

997.) Do you think that last question was really lame?: bitchhhhh

998.) Did you think this whole survey was really lame?:

yes

999.) Was it a waste of your time?: YES

1000.) Do you waste a lot of time doing stupid pointless things when you should be doing more important things: I hate that this is the last question

thank god thats over

#survey

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