#and with Nina the worst has been a part of it since day one

[itspileofgoodthings]

Love Nina so much because she a) loves, appreciates, and respects me; b) thinks I’m a little cringe sometimes, kind of annoying, maybe a Bit Much. Totally neutralizes all anxiety in the relationship for me.

[knyontop]

Hello! Hope you're having a good day! And I was wondering if the creepypastas could react to your death but if you're a child pasta? Like say it's from a bullet wound since the enemy defended themselves? Take your time:)

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

ONG IM SO EXCITED FOR THISSS

Creepypasta x Child!reader.

Tw: gore, depression and stuff, starving, self sabotage, and other stuff.

Ft: Jeff the killer, Sally, Ticci toby, Ben drowned, Nina the killer, and our beautiful, amazing, handsome, reader.

Jeff:

・He doesn’t know what to say, he only feels anger. Rage.

・The rage of Jeff the killer is something I hope my worst enemy never experiences😭

・He will not sleep until he finds whoever killed you, he will go to the depths of hell to find them.

・He cant even think straight when looking for them the only thing he wants to do is kill.

・he starts to isolate himself from everything and everyone, he will just sit in his room or just go out and kill.

・he killings are much more brutal from the anger.

・taking all his anger and emotion out on his victims.

・cry laughing while he carves em’ up.

・he thought he would be happy if you just randomly disappeared or something but I guess not. ☹️

・He lost his some what friend and sibling.

・He will drink, and drink, and maybe drink some more and drink while killing.

・This just makes him less of human then he already was. He cant do it, he just cant.

・He still refuses to say he cares about you btw. (We all know the truth)

・”Damit kid… you dumbass. Why did you have to die?”

Ben:

・Life is all fun and games to him, playing pranks on people, killing people, torturing people, just the usual!

・This news just hits him like hes being drowned all over again. Hes panicking, feeling like he cant breathe, just losing it.

・Hes glitching all over the place, saying its not true, its not true. You cant be dead! NO YOU JUST CANT!

・Please come back.

・Please just come back.

・He doesn’t find video games fun anymore. He doesn’t annoy people like he used to. He gets more aggressive with his pranks.

・He like jeff takes his anger out on his victims, getting all his anger and frustration out.

・he just wants you back. Please. Come back. Come. Back. Now.

・Hes more glitchy and on edge now, you were like his dumb, little sibling.. but your gone now.

・He just doesn’t get why kids are always the ones who have to suffer, why did you have to die? Your just a kid. You shouldn’t have been dragged into this mess.

・”W-W-Why d-did you h-have to die… y-y-your just a k-k-kid im so sorry.”

Toby:

・oh, oh this poor boy. Hes already lost his older sister, imagine what this is like.

・The worse part is he was there when it happened, and he couldn’t protect you. He couldn’t protect you. HE COULD NOT PROTECT. YOU.

・He will never forgive himself this is like Lara all over again. He cant do this anymore.

・He will eat less and less, just sit in bed. Having random outbursts in the middle of the day, just breaking down absolutely losing it. But who can blame him? Everyone missed you.

・Toby just wished he could have died instead of you, its not fair.

・Hes mad at you, hes mad at himself, hes mad at everyone. Hes now more violent then ever. Hes easy to anger, just everything.

・Hes over here lashingout at everyone, even sally!

・oh and you have no idea how this has affected sally. Omg. 😭

Sally:

・oh this poor sweet baby :C

・She just cries, cries and cries and cries.

・You helped heed forget about all the bad, she had someone to care for and someone to care for her. But your gone now.. why?

・She just misses you so much, shes mad at the world for this. Shes mad at Slender and even Mr. Charlie!

・Sally is now more clingy then ever. She needs more attention and starts to get more “annoying” to everyone.

・visitsyour grave everyday to have tea partys with you, like old times yk? She cant go there without crying.

・She misses when you would brush her hair and tell her about your mission and how there head would go splat splat splat! The sound is so silly to her!

・Sally just wants you back! She wants her parents back, she wants everything back!

Nina:

・Nina is no longer her sadistic silly self.

・She doesn’t have anyone to rant to anymore, she doesn’t have anyone to practice shots on, she doesn’t have anyone to try make up looks on! Her little sibling is gone again! Just like she lost her little brother.

・She didn’t trust herself with you, she thought she would hurt you like she hurt her little brother. But you just ended up hurting her…

・Nina just like toby starts to pass on food, she literally loves food tho! But she just cant anymore…

・”You were my best friend and now.. and now your gone.”

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

[sinukiyo]

I’m sorry but this scene…THIS SCENE…

“Matthias cast an uneasy glance at the guards’ backs, visible through the doorway. “Ignore them,” she said. “Why haven’t you kissed me, Matthias?”

“This isn’t the time—”

“Is it because of what I am? Is it because you still fear me?”

“No.”

She paused, and he could see her struggling with what she wanted to say. “Is it because of the way I behaved on the ship? The way I acted the other night … when I tried to get you to give me the rest of the parem?”

“How can you think that?”

“You’re always calling me shameless. I guess … I guess I’m ashamed.” She shuddered. “It’s like wearing a coat that doesn’t fit.”

“Nina, I gave you my oath.”

“But—”

“Your enemies are my enemies, and I will stand with you against any foe—including this accursed drug.”

She shook her head as if he was speaking nonsense. “I don’t want you to be with me because of an oath, or because you think you need to protect me, or because you think you owe me some stupid blood debt.”

“Nina—” he started, then stopped. “Nina, I am with you because you let me be with you. There is no greater honor than to stand by your side.”

“Honor, duty. I get it.”

Her temper he could bear, but her disappointment was unacceptable. Matthias knew only the language of war. He did not have the words for this. “Meeting you was a disaster.”

She raised a brow. “Thank you.”

Djel, he was terrible at this. He stumbled on, trying to make her understand. “But I am grateful every day for that disaster. I needed a cataclysm to shake me from the life I knew. You were an earthquake, a landslide.”

“I,” she said, planting a hand on her hip, “am a delicate flower.”

“You aren’t a flower, you’re every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You’re a stampede. You are overwhelming.”

“And what would you prefer?” she said, eyes blazing, the slightest quaver to her voice. “A proper Fjerdan girl who wears high collars and dunks herself in cold water whenever she has the urge to do something exciting?”

“That isn’t what I meant!”

She sidled closer to him. Again, his eyes strayed to the guards. Their backs were turned, but Matthias knew they must be listening, no matter what language he and Nina were speaking. “What are you so afraid of?” she challenged. “Don’t look at them, Matthias. Look at me.”

He looked. It was a struggle not to look. He loved seeing her in Fjerdan clothes, the little woolly vest, the full sweep of her skirts. Her green eyes were bright, her cheeks pink, her lips slightly parted. It was too easy to imagine himself kneeling like a penitent before her, letting his hands slide up the white curves of her calves, pushing those skirts higher, past her knees to the warm skin of her thighs. And the worst part was that he knew how good she would feel. Every cell in his body remembered the press of her naked body that first night in the whaling camp. “I … There is no one I want more; there is nothing I want more than to be overwhelmed by you.”

“But you don’t want to kiss me?”

“He inhaled slowly, trying to bring order to his thoughts. This was all wrong.

“In Fjerda—” he began.

“We’re not in Fjerda.”

He needed to make her understand. “In Fjerda,” he persisted, “I would have asked your parents for permission to walk out with you.”

“I haven’t seen my parents since I was a child.”

“We would have been chaperoned. I would have dined with your family at least three times before we were ever left alone together.”

“We’re alone together now, Matthias.”

“I would have brought you gifts.”

Nina tipped her head to one side. “Go on.”

“Winter roses if I could afford them, a silver comb for your hair.”

“I don’t need those things.”

“Apple cakes with sweet cream.”

“I thought drüskelle didn’t eat sweets.”

“They’d all be for you,” he said.

“You have my attention.”

“Our first kiss would be in a sunlit wood or under a starry sky after a village dance, not in a tomb or some dank basement with guards at the door.”

“Let me get this straight,” Nina said. “You haven’t kissed me because the setting isn’t suitably romantic?”

“This isn’t about romance. A proper kiss, a proper courtship. There’s a way these things should be done.”

“For proper thieves?” The corners of her beautiful mouth curled and for a moment he was afraid she would laugh at him, but she simply shook her head and drew even nearer. Her body was the barest breath from his now. The need to close that scrap of distance was maddening.

“The first day you showed up at my house for this proper courtship, I would have cornered you in the pantry,” she said. “But please, tell me more about Fjerdan girls.”

“They speak quietly. They don’t engage in flirtations with every single man they meet.”

“I flirt with the women too.”

“I think you’d flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention.”

“If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice. Are you jealous?”

“All the time.”

“I’m glad. What are you looking at, Matthias?” The low thrum of her voice vibrated straight through him.

He kept his eyes on the ceiling, whispering softly. “Nothing.”

“Matthias, are you praying?”

“Possibly.”

“For restraint?” she said sweetly.

“You really are a witch.”

“I’m not proper, Matthias.”

“I am aware of this.” Miserably, keenly, hungrily aware.

“And I’m sorry to inform you, but you’re not proper either.”

His gaze dropped to her now. “I—”

“How many rules have you broken since you met me? How many laws? They won’t be the last. Nothing about us will ever be proper,” she said. She tilted her face up to his. So close now it was as if they were already touching. “Not the way we met. Not the life we lead. And not the way we kiss.”

“She went up on tiptoe, and that easily, her mouth was against his. It was barely a kiss—just a quick, startling press of her lips.

Before she could even think of moving away, he had hold of her. He knew he was probably doing everything wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to worry, because she was in his arms, her lips were parting, her hands were twining around his neck, and sweet Djel, her tongue was in his mouth. No wonder Fjerdans were so cautious about courtship. If Matthias could be kissing Nina, feeling her nip at his lip with her clever teeth, feel her body fitted against his own, hear her release that little sigh in the back of her throat, why would he ever bother doing anything else? Why would anyone?”

[stromuprisahat]

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe … you weren’t meant to exist?

I had a few days off, so let's get this over with... it won't get easier.

Six of Crows- Chapter 19

Y'no, if you have an urge to prevent people from seeing something, there might be a thing or two wrong with whatever it is they're not supposed to look at.

The amount of hatred needed to dig three holes in frozen ground, deep enough to secure higher than human-sized stakes (Don't forget enough space for a pile of firewood.)!

Fjerda is supposed to be a cold country, good firewood should be pretty valuable then, right? And still they're willing to waste enough of it to roast inedible humans?!

The pyres have been illegal since- I'm sure those three charred people would be happy to hear that.

Nina asks some pretty good questions. Shame she'll soon forget them.

Just read this several times and keep thinking about how this is a human being, not "creature" as Matthias calls it.

Considering some of the author's believes, one can't help but ask how many of these opinions are only a part of the characters' descriptions, and how many are expressing her own. ... It was not Baghra. I don't know what it was. ...

~I~'ve never... So we can simply ignore that everyone else does/would like to.

A fair trial... that's what? They're allowed to talk? (Even though nobody cares to listen.) As Nina counters- why has a Grisha never been found innocent?! And more importantly- why will Nina simply forget she used to care about this?! Why won't she do anything to stop it, when in the heart of that country, some of the worst perpetrators of such horrors at her mercy?!

One of the details that make Matthias' change believable (although a bit too fast) are the seeds of doubt. Why else feel ashamed when proclaiming something he deeply believes in?

And yeah- another portion of the typical rhetoric of hateful ideologies. It's us and them. They're less and worse, corrupted and inferior. They don't feel like we do, they're unnatural, inhuman, not meant to exist.

Fjerdans are not that different from ordinary Ravkans, who are willing to worship Saints, but deny they're Grisha even a few years after their deaths.

Don't mock... That's some pretty realistic shit too. This sort of bigots will always put inconsiderate words on the same level as bashing your head in.

This is Nina lashing out, hurling the worst things she can come up with at Matthias. It's sad how much of it would be well-deserved, and how little is even remotely realistic.

Nina's hoping for a Nuremberg trials of her world. Unfortunately for her there's no common law, no widely agreed upon set of morals, no base for it, so how come she's even asking for it?

Nina haven't sounded like a child as much as now yet. She paints a picture of strong, well-lead country, capable of more than a pathetic parody on self-defense. And her dream of the Second Army's beyond laughable.

I know some people like to claim the Darkling's, therefore Second Army's tactics is often sowing fear in the masses, but Matthias' story doesn't make much sense with this little information, unless Ravka and Fjerda were in that "fun" part of conflict, when they simply destroy a village or two, then pretend they know nothing about it.

Fjerdans already fear Grisha- there's no need for atrocities to provoke it. Why would a special unit of enemy army target some random village of no particular importance? How come Matthias knows for sure it were Second Army Inferni? And how is he alive and well?

Drüskelle leader's pet student lost whole family in brutal attack of well-trained Grisha?! Ain't Brum just SO lucky?!

In context of the author's opinions (link above), this reads pretty much like lecturing the reader on reality of Grisha persecution. They kill people too, and they are soldiers- look!

[gingiesworld]

At My Worst

Chapter Five

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Danny is a dick

18+ MINORS DNI

Christmas came and went fast, although Y/N had to work over christmas day, Leigh made sure to have a second christmas at the Shaw house, which amused both her mom and Jules since they had never seen her so nervous.

Even now as she packed up her things as Y/N had asked her to move in with them as they looked for their own house. Wanting one near her mom and in the neighbourhood she grew up.

"Leigh!" The two heard as they were unloading the van.

"I'll be upstairs." Y/N kissed her temple before taking the box upstairs.

"Danny? Why are you here?" She asked him as he pointed to her hand.

"So it's true then." He scoffed as he shook his head. "You're not wearing Matt's ring."

"I know I'm not." She told him calmly. "This is Y/N's ring, my fiancè."

"So you're getting married? Did Matt mean so little to you?!" He questioned loudly, gaining the attention of passers by.

"He meant everything to me but it is almost five years since he died. Since he killed himself." Leigh told him angrily. "I am allowed to move on! Live my life and not dwell on the future that your brother promised to me before he went and hooked up with Nina."

"Leigh." Danny shrunk down as Leigh shook her head no.

"No, I am allowed to get my happy ever after. Y/N is my happy ever after and you are ruining one of the greatest days of my life." She told him as her eyes stung.

"I think you should leave." Y/N's voice sounded from beside Leigh.

"And you're the fiancè who is replacing my brother." Danny scoffed as Y/N stepped closer to him.

"I am not replacing anyone. Yes, your brother's passing was unfortunate but Leigh is allowed to move on. She has spent the better part of 3 years grieving so let her be happy." They told him sternly as Leigh wiped her eyes.

"Leigh." Danny tried as Leigh shook her head.

"Have a nice life Danny." She told him before she grabbed another box and headed inside.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as Y/N smiled at him. "Just take care of her."

"I intend to just that." Y/N told him. "I know it must be hard especially with your feelings for her but this is good for her."

"I know." He nodded as he stepped away slowly. "Just make sure she is happy and has the family she has always dreamed of." With that he had left in a hurry, leaving Y/N with the last of the boxes and locking the car.

"Are you ok?" Y/N asked her as she sat on the sofa, her head in her hands.

"I guess so." She whispered as Y/N took her hand in theirs. "I am allowed to move on so soon?"

"It isn't so soon Leigh, it's been five years since he passed away." They reassured her.

"You would say that." Leigh chuckled as she snatched her hand away. "You are my new fiancè. My set in stone as my mom said."

"Leigh, you're spiralling." They stood before her, resting their hands on her arms as she shook her head. "Breathe for me." The two had done breathing exercises until she started to sob, Y/N catching her and pulling her into them. Holding her as she cried, soon picking her up and taking her to their room, laying beside her as they held her. Bringing her some sort of comfort.

-----

As the weeks had went on, Leigh found herself attending group again, needing some guidance in her emotions. She had started to have doubts since the altercation with Danny, soon putting a hold on wedding preparations.

"I uh Y/N proposed to me a few weeks ago." Leigh started as she played with the ring on her finger. "I was happy, extremely happy for the first time in years. Well, I had never really felt happiness like it before, but as Y/N and I were moving my things into their apartment, Danny. My husband's brother showed up by chance. He uh seeing him has made me question is 3 years to short of time before moving on? It's just that things are amazing with Y/N and I feel guilty because I feel like I am forgetting Matt."

"That's completely understandable with how you're feeling." The councellor spoke. "And there is no definite time frame on grief or when you should move on. If it feels right to move on with this person, then don't question it. Let yourself be happy. If they are who you see your future with, go for it because you are allowed to be happy. To move on." As the time went on and everyone had shared their stories, Leigh's phone was on silent as she was getting multiple calls from her mom, jules and Governor Stevens.

[bullet-prooflove]

The Beauty of the End Part One: Nashville Michael 'Riz' Ariza x Reader

Tagging: @anime-weeb-4-life, @danzer8705 @mysoulisasunflower @vannabanana1995 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @sxmmarie @camelia35 @queeniesdiary @briefpersonenemy @creativitybeware @genius2050 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @oureternalbond @rubes2323

It’s the trip to Nashville that does it.

Ever since that night you'd played his song together, you’ve been going places. Riz has always known you would. After your set, you’d been approached by a talent scout for one of the recording studios up in L.A. He’d stayed out the way while the two of you talked.

Since then you’ve been away, travelling around the country and opening for some of the bigger names that belong to the label, preforming small intimate shows of your own. He’s lost track of the cities you’ve been to. He tries to tick them off daily. You keep in contact through Facetime, snatching moments when he’s not on a run and you’re not in the middle of recording, or playing.

Before he knows it, it’s been over a month since he’s physically laid eyes on you, so he decides to book a flight and catch up with you in Nashville. It’s a surprise, you usually leave two tickets at the box office. He knows that EZ and his girl caught up with you in Phoenix, that Creeper and Nina took a couple of days off and made a trip of it in Tuscon. The last time Riz had gotten his hands on you was Vegas, you’d spent the entire night making love in your hotel room before you’d been whisked away on the next leg of the tour.

He misses you fiercely, your absence in his day to day feels acute. He misses sitting on the couch with you and strumming his guitar, hearing you sing along when you manage to guess the song he’s playing. He misses the silly little lyrics you make up when you’re doing something mundane like putting away the groceries or folding the laundry. He misses sharing a joint on his patio, watching the smoke bleed from between your lips before you kiss him.

“I want to come home,” you tell him one night over the phone. “I miss being with you.”

That’s when he decides to hit Nashville. He thinks that his physical presence may alleviate some of the home sickness that you feel and fuck he wants to see you, it’s been too long since he’s held you in his arms.

It isn’t until he gets to the venue that realises how big the event is. It’s supposed to be an intimate show, just you and a small audience but it looks like they’ve had to expand to one of the larger spaces. There’s a crowd waiting to be let in and he’s not talking a few people, he hears someone complaining how tickets have been sold out for months, and they had to pay a fortune just to get these ones in the shitty seats.

It’s in that moment Riz realises the potential of this thing, you’ve only been touring for a couple of months and your fanbase has grown exponentially. There are people actually wearing t shirts with your face on, it’s both moving and fucking weird at the same time. He sits down on the edge of a fountain in the plaza and watches the line snake around the side of the building. He’s so fucking proud of you, you’re doing what you set out to do, you’re achieving your dream, but he knows that’s in flux. You’re emotional and impulsive. He thinks the moment you set eyes on him; you might just blow the whole thing up. Quit the tour and come back to Santo Padre, fall back into a boring life with him. You could have so much more, you deserve so much more, there’s just one thing holding you back.

Him.

He’s the only thing that ties you Santo Padre, this tether that stops you from breaking free and finding your own path amongst the stars. You need to cut your losses, but you won’t do it, you’re too fucking loyal.

So Riz does it for you.

He calls you from an airport hotel room near Nashville International and ends it. It’s the worst thing he has ever fucking had to do. He knows if he says the distance is too much, that you’ll come home in an instant so he lies, he tells you that his feelings aren’t the same, that he’s met someone else. You’re crying by the time he hangs up the phone and it fucking wrecks him. He drinks himself to sleep that night and when he gets back to Santo Pandre, all the other nights that follow.

Love Riz? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[episodeoftv]

Prelims, Vote 7 of 8

The top 4 finales will move on to be included in the main bracket

Propaganda is under the cut, may include spoilers

Friends - 10.17 The Last One

It's specifically part 2 I think qualifies here because that has the Rachel got off the plane thing and I think in 2023 we can all admit that was a mistake. she should've just lived her best life in Paris

Gilmore Girls - 7.22 Bon Voyage

No propaganda submitted

Gossip Girl - 6.10 New York I Love You XOXO

Chuck murders his uncle so the plot is that Chuck and Blair had to get married in a day and like flee the country. Whether you loved them or hated them, no one wanted them to get married in ten minutes on the street. Dan is revealed as Gossip Girl which makes ZERO sense because he sends tips to Gossip Girl and learns stuff from it ALL THE TIME. It’s literally impossible that he was Gossip Girl the whole time. There’s a timeskip and Dan and Serena are getting married, OH cause no one even cares that he’s Gossip Girl and has ruined their lives over and over, so Dan and Serena get married even though they haven’t been together since they were sixteen!! They don’t even like eachother at all by season six. Everyone else’s ending is just tragic. Nate’s whole storyline in season one was hating that his life was planned and he’s going to end up like his dad, and he ends up exactly like his dad and he’s in politics despite showing zero interest in it before. Every character didn’t want to end up like their parents and DID by the end

ReBoot - 4.08 Crouching Binome, Hidden Virus

It concluded with a cliffanger and a massive reveal (the nice BoB, Dot was about to marry was the bad guy all along) that left the viewer shocked as Megabyte (said bad guy) seized the center of Power and everything was about to be infected.

Shameless - 11.12 Father Frank, Full of Grace

Imagine a show going on for 11 seasons just for not a single one of the characters to get a genuinely happy ending. All the endings were open ended, but for every single one of them it was implied that bad things were coming (other than the character who died, obviously, because that was a true end). We spent 11 years getting attached to characters only for none of them to be truly happy and so many questions still unanswered.

Star Trek: Voyager - 7.25 / 7.26 Endgame

Throwing together Chakotay and Seven out of nowhere at the last minute; Janeway cavalierly rewriting decades of history to save them; everything relying on deus ex machina future tech; all these are bad. But the worst part is, "Endgame" ends before they get home! We don't see any reunions between the crew and their families back home, or how their homecoming is celebrated. After seven years, they get back to Earth, and it just...ends, without any real resolution.

Top Chef - 11.17 Finale

It's the end of a long season full of frustrating man children and delicious food in Louisiana. With our final two we have Nina, an award winning chef and fan favorite of the season who has been in the top ten challenges and the bottom only twice. She could be the first (and to this day would still be the only) black woman to win Top Chef. In the other corner we have Nicholas, who was in the top four times and the bottom six times and always blames other people for his problems. He yells at his staff and coworkers whenever things get tough throughout the season as well. They each get three sou chefs and Nina picks the two other strongest women of the season who both were screwed over by Nick earlier in the season, alongside her friend Travis. Nick picks three bros and there's a joke that it's Guys vs Girls because Travis on Nina's team is gay. Service is stressful for each team but they handle it in different ways. Nina readjusts her plans quickly and Nick yells at his waitstaff in front of everyone again. The judges eat at both places and we get an emotional interview with each contestant of what winning would mean for them. Judging time! Three of the judges think Nina should win because her food was the best of the night. Two judges think Nick should win because his food was better. One of the Team Nick judges is head Judge Tom Colichio and he speaks to the other judges like they're stupid. The judges start debating and the two Team Nick judges say, wait, actually both teams were equally good that night but Nina has always been that good meanwhile this is the best Nick has ever done so he should win. The judges argue more and at one point Tom Colichio says Nick yelling at his staff proves he's a passionate chef so he should win. They keep disagreeing with three for Nina and two for Nick. We don't see the end of the argument. Two Cheftestants stand before the judges with their families and all the former contestants of the season standing off to the side. The winner of Top Chef New Orleans is... Nick. Some of his fellow Cheftestants from the season are visibly annoyed and Nick gives his mom a sloppy kiss on the lips before giving a tearful confessional. The end.

[demonsfate]

i've never seen a fandom hate and spite their own mc more than the tekken fandom. i was browsing r/Tekken one day for tips on how to beat lili and unsurprisingly i found a post where people kept disrespecting him on his OWN BIRTHDAY. seriously, as someone who is a diehard stan of kazuya mishima and sasuke uchiha (i loved both of them since i was a kid) even those two get more respect than jin - the naruto fandom on reddit never straight up disrespected sasuke on his birthday.

worst part of it all is that jin got basically the same treatment as luke from star wars and captain america in marvel comics - he was just ooc as fuck in tekken 6 and his characterization in that game completely contradicts tekken 3-5 jin. it can easily be fixed too by just saying he got brainwashed by azazel (like how nina got brainwashed by ogre). jin fans get called whiny for trying to retcon or fix their own favorite, but side character fans (ex. paul, law, etc) get a fix their own fav and be called "the best writers in all of fiction". i think i also remember seeing someone say they hope jin's va gets terminal c*ncer and dies so the writers could have miguel kill him off and then replace him with kazuya or lars as the new mc while xiaoyu fucks hwoarang or something (i checked to see if it was still there, but they probably deleted their twitter account).

why can't the tekken fandom just do what voltron stans do and ignore canon while making their own?...yes, everyone and their grandma knows tekken story has gone down the shitter since post tekken 5. so then instead of saying "Tekken story sucks and no one cares about lore in fighting games" for the 100th time how about fucking make your own au's and fanfic.

honestly it's hard to look thru any jin content without a joke about tk6, or straight up bitter haters. i'm not saying every jin post has a comment with that content, but there's a lot that does. reddit is probs the worst place for jin hate too as i see it there the most. heck, i get hate for being a jin main. usually when they don't agree with one of my takes, they point out me being a jin main and how we're all retarded or some shit. (alisa & jun are now more of my mains, but that was back then when i still listed jin as my main lmao) so whilst you're still gonna come across jin hate on places like twitter or even here, it's best to steer away from reddit 'cos it's most egregious there.

yeah. most normal fandoms do just ignore canon, or if they can't ignore canon 'cos it's canon, they acknowledge it's trash and purpose ways it could've been handled better. but the tekken fandom isn't like that. they're insistent on jin being a fucker head because it happened in one game. and yeah, i have seen ppl say jin fans are either whiny or losers for wanting to say he was brainwashed and not hold him responsible for his actions. and it's like, yeah, i approve of holding characters responsible for their actions. but the problem with jin is that his character should've never been written to commit those actions to begin with - i'm not gonna care to hold a character responsible when they were out of character. i'm just gonna criticize the writing.

also maybe you saw that on a message i already answered? there was another anon that also told me something similar that their sister or friend was praying for that in a church lol. i dunno if you're the same anon or not (as you both have similar takes regarding the treatment of jin's character)

i think the reason why tekken fans have a harder time ignoring the Bad Parts of canon compared to fandoms like marvel, star wars, or certain animation is because of the "stories in fighting games don't matter" saying that's popular. it gives people the mentality that they shouldn't care about the story as much... yet ironically caring about it as they're mad at jin for being the Hope of Mankind lmao.

[harryleatherfit]

Upper East Side: AU: Frankie Morales

Chapter 6: The Box

word count: 6600

warning: MATURE, dni if not 18+, smut, fingering, oral f! receiving, over stimulation, sex club, heavy petting 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 probably more so let me know if anything is missing

this is not revised or looked over (sorry) and kinda my first time writing smut… so… but i tried 🫶

🪩Main Master List🪩 Series Master List🪩

-----

Frankie POV

The professors decided to stay late for the last day of auditions, finalizing the cast list that would be put up the next day.

It was difficult for them to pick the roles, so many talented students and to only give 15 characters. They all had to weigh the highs and lows. They couldn’t give the role to the obvious person, they had to think of who would take it seriously for a college broadway production.

The 2 Macbeths would be the face of Broadway, and they would have to be able to keep up with the early stardom. These 2 would have to keep up with their studies but put the production as their number one priority. They couldn’t think of seniority but pure talent before their eyes.

Papers were spread over conference tables, coffee was brought on the dot every hour, videotaped monologues were rerun a thousand times. Balls of paper were thrown all over the floor.

“Ok team, it’s nearing midnight what are we thinking about the Macbeths?” Ms. Roylance asks.

There were a few groans from around the room, everyone has been casted except for the duo.

“Starting with Macbeth,” She writes on a board.

“I feel Davis had emotion in his stance, his reactions to what Lady M would say were on the dot, but I feel like something was missing.” Benny says.

“Yeah he’s a great choice, but I feel like he wouldn't be Broadway ready, I mean every magazine will write about this play, so we do have to pick the best we have.” Fish chimes in.

“Ok Davis, ⅔ points.” Ms. Roylance writes on the board.

“What about Mattias, that boy is a star.” Ironhead says. “He has the passion, he has the pretty boy look, he can act.”

“And he’s got the body, he's a good dancer!” Cheot adds.

“I mean Roylance, he’s our Macbeth. He can work with anyone, he’s calm and controlled and his monologue hits every spot we’re looking for. All you have to do is say yes.” Ironhead twirls his fingers together in excitement.

“Ok fine, Mattias is our star.” She puts his name in red on the board, it’s final. “And for our lovely ladies, Lady Mac, there's quite a handful. There's McKayla, Kelsey, Sarah, Emma, our North Carolina transfer, Nina-”

Fish heard Pope bring up you and he immediately felt engaged in the conversation again.

“About Nina, ma’am.” Pope interrupts. “I didn’t think to say anything about it now since it was before her audition, but I was walking up to the theater doors to go to the bathroom and I overheard Nina talking to our new student… and it wasn’t the most humane conversation.” He sank into his chair.

Fish felt the heat in his face rise, the room felt insufferable. He wanted to claw away from his chair and find you, but he couldn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell me immediately?” Ms. Roylance asks.

“I didn’t think of it much because this is always how Nina has been since her freshman year, her dad paying her way through this school and scaring away fresh talent because, honestly we let her but this time she crossed a line. She was calling her names, saying she needed plastic surgery, and that she would get her kicked out if she got the part over Nina.”

That’s funny, that bitch genuinely looks like a catfish with all that plastic in her face, worse than a kardashian- Frankie thought to himself.

“But the worst part was she didn’t even respond, she just stood there in front of Nina taking everything in. She looked petrified and I’m glad I intervened when I did. Personally I think she shouldn’t even be offered another role again for the rest of her senior year, but I understand with her father, the legality of that would be extremely tough.”

She didn’t speak up to Nina? Why not?

Fish felt his heart drop. Nina had the audacity to belittle you? Nina thinks she can use her dad and his power to hurt you, replace you?

He would do anything in his power, in his position and with his connections to get that girl kicked the fuck out. He didn’t care, he would use his power in this damned school and city to make sure she suffered for what she did to you.

“Pope why didn’t you say anything, man?” Benny says.

“I really didn’t think anything of it and I remembered, I’m sorry but to what I heard I think it’s serious. What does everyone else think?”

Fish rattles up his hoarse voice, “We kick the girl out for all I care, I can deal with her dad. We should’ve kicked her out since day one and taken our chances.”

Roylance and Cheot give him a look, they both know they couldn’t have done that.

“I say we give the roll to our new girl.” Redfly speaks up. “Listen, we wouldn’t have to kick Nina out because we know the hellhole her dad would put NYU through, but I mean that scream c’mon, the tears, her performance. The message she gave to us. She’s a talented performer and we all know this from last spring. We saw a new Hollywood star on some random stage. So we give it to her solely because she has proved herself that she has what it takes.” He goes on. “Roylance we know Mattias will work well with her, they already have stage chemistry, this will work.”

“And Nina couldn’t even cry, she was shaking violently like a little dog. Do we collectively want to give this role to that?” Ironhead asks.

“I agree with you, we are giving her the role, but how do we ease the cast list? What is our game plan for Nina’s dad? How will we protect our new Hollywood? We’re aware of what Nina can do and what her father can hide.”

“You can make sure Nina will never talk to her in your classes, for sure as hell I will make sure in my voice class Nina will not lay her eyes on her.” Benny states.

“And for sure as hell I’ll tell her friend Laylah, who is our Head of Makeup, to keep an eye on her and be with her 24/7.” Redfly puts. “And Cheot can ask Laylah how she is in her dance classes.”

I know for damn fucking sure that evil little bitch will not go near my girl.

Roylance moves her head side to side thinking, “Okay with our work as human beings, and as teachers..” She circles your name on the board next to Mattias’s,”We have the house of Macbeth then!”

The teachers get up from their seats and claps are heard all around the room.

--------------

“Wake up!” Laylah is shaking you awake. “Wake up! The cast list is out. It’s on the school bulletin board, we need to hurry!’

“Oh jesus.” Laylah, Rose and Hannah all get their shoes on and you don’t even bother, grabbing the nearest pair of slides.

Laylah is near hauling you across the campus, you need fucking coffee.

In the distance you see a horde of people crowded around the arts bulletin board. It's a cold Saturday morning and it's too early to even care what you look like.

As you get closer your heart starts to race again, but with excitement. No matter what you’ll be happy with the results.

You can see all the arts professors standing in a line not far from the crowd but just observing. Most likely there to condole people or to answer questions about rehearsals.

He wasn’t there.

Everyone around the paper is now starting to open an entrance, just staring at you. What for?

You read the tiny little script, Mattias is Macbeth and you look one level down…

“OH MY GOD, YOU FUCKING GOD LADY MAC I KNEW YOU WOULD.” Laylah screams.

Hannah, Rose and Laylah all bombard you with a group hug and you don’t even know what to say. You give your thank yous, and everyone around you congratulates you.

“I don’t even believe it, I can’t believe I have a lead here.” You exclaim.

Your heart fills with a swarm of liquid joy, even in the cold you feel like the sun. You immediately feel every worry go away in your body, you’re happy. You can pocket this moment forever.

You immediately think of the rehearsals, the makeup and costumes. Getting to perform on broadway. Your face on a New York CIty billboard. Every moment in your life has built up for this, and you stop to really think about everything you have done to get you here.

You think of Frankie and how he even helped you with your monologue. He taught you to not hold back for anything.

And instantaneously, you feel hands shove you to the side. It’s Nina.

The group of people move behind her as she looks at the bulletin board. She didn’t even make it. Not as an ensemble member, a small featured character. Nothing.

She shrieks and stomps and immediately turns to you. Behind her, you see a guy behind her trying to console her, probably her rich boyfriend that couldn’t give a shit less if she got in or not. He’s probably with her for her father.

“I will fucking end-” She starts to yell in front of everyone.

“Sorry to interrupt but can I steal her for a second?” Ms. Roylance asks.

Thank god. You could not have another episode of Nina telling you how horrible you are. You couldn’t take it.

“No problem, Ms. Roylance take your sweet time, I’m gonna wait here with my boyfriend over there after you talk with her, if I may talk to you afterward?” She asks in a sweet slithering tone. She’s a fucking snake.

“Actually Nina, if we could, can we talk in class on Monday? I have a lot of planning to do this weekend for the rest of this semester. It'll be a lengthy meeting with all the arts teachers, as I hope you will understand the time constraint we are all under.” Roylance responds.

“Of course ma’am have a great weekend.” She walks away haltered and distraught. You felt like at that moment Nina would have done anything in her power to hurt you. You couldn’t have been more grateful for the teachers being there.

You walk with Ms. Roylance and to the professor circle near the arts hallway and they all congratulate you.

“How do you feel?” Mr. Miller asks.

“Shocked I guess? I can’t describe this feeling. I have absolutely no words.” You put your hands over your heart, “This is truly the best welcoming present I could’ve asked for.” Now you feel like you can fully express your win on getting Lady Macbeth.

“I genuinely don’t understand how this is even possible, and Mattias getting Macbeth feels perfect, but I can’t thank you enough, I don’t know how you can see me being on broadway in just some short months but-”

“No buts.” Mr Garcia smiles, “You are Lady Macbeth because you’re spectacular. You captured us in your audition, and we all know you have what it takes to be Lady Macbeth.”

“Picking Lady Macbeth was obvious, from the moment you stepped on that stage, we knew it would be you. You’re meticulous about your acting, and this is what the world needs to see. You’re a perfectionist and you won’t take anything less as an answer. You are the definition of Broadway ready.” Mr. Davis says.

You felt sick with the praises, you couldn’t stop smiling and putting your hands to your face. You could hear your friends in the distance giggling as they’re waiting for you- agreeing with the teachers.

“It wasn’t obvious it must have been so hard with all this talent here, I’m nervous for everything, I’m scared I won’t be as good as you all put me out to be.” You shy away from their eye contact.

“We know you’re good, trust me.” Ms.Cheot pipes up, “Even though you don’t dance, I saw some stuff of yours, and I only know the spring musical is waiting to have your name all over it.”

“But he really should've been here to tell you himself, but Mr. Morales really dug out for you. He said he saw you practice your monologue before your audition and said you improved when you didn’t have to. He kept going on about how he hasn’t seen your kind of talent in years. So purely we all agree you are one of a kind and you deserve this. Soak it in for today.” Mr. Miller 2.0 says.

And once again, he did something for you. You had chills on your arms just from that sentence alone. He has full control over you.

You laugh, “I promise I will soak it all in. If I may ask, when do rehearsals start?”

“Unfortunately we need to do a table read tomorrow at 10am, I’ll post the rehearsal calendar tonight for everyone. We’ll all be there to help work with everyone along with stage chemistry, but it won’t be too hard.”

Would you get to see Frankie?

“Thank you, I’ll see you all tomorrow. ” You start to walk off back to your friends, and Ms. Roylance grabs your shoulder, “I played Lady Macbeth when I was younger and I see you in me. You have this thing, I can’t explain it now but someday I will. Go home and sleep and come tomorrow with a fresh mind. And don’t pay any attention to that Nina girl, I’ll make sure she doesn’t bother you for the rest of this year.”

You smile at her and thank her all over again, appreciative of her actions with Nina.

You meet up with your friends again and they bombard you with questions as you walk back to your dorm.

------

“Ok so in celebration of our win tonight what do you think we should do tonight?” Rose asks.

“We could go to a nice restaurant, maybe a club?” Hannah replies.

“We could do a library and some coffee and come back here to watch movies, if anyone wants a mellow night.” Rose says.

“I don’t want a mellow night, I want a night to remember.” You unconsciously say, you did have your first rehearsal tomorrow, but nothing you can’t sober enough for. You’ve got your natural remedy for a mad hangover, it’s what a college student does.

“Oh my god, we have to check out The Box then!” Hannah rejoices.

“What's the box?” You and Laylah both ask.

“Calm your tits for this one, you're in for a wild ride,” Hannah gets up, “It's this super exclusive club, you can go there with a reservation or in the hope that they’ll just let you in but here’s the catch, it’s sex burlesque club. It’s fucking crazy and really damn expensive.”

“If it’s expensive, then we shouldn’t go.” You say.

“No, I’ll just use the credit card my dad gave me for college, I never use it so tonight we will treat ourselves.” Hannah insists. Oh yeah just your sweet daddies credit card for a sex club okay. “But be prepared, there's sometimes like orgies on stage.”

“Orgys on stage?” Laylah questions.

“I know it may sound weird but it’s a once in a lifetime experience. It’s an all exclusive club and so many celebrities go their for a night away and theres crazy fucking shit that happens there. People pee on eachother, people fuck eachother, you see people doing coke, people take acid, you see attendees strip, you sing and dance your face off, you go to the bathroom and fuck someone you see really hot. I once went in my freshman year here with a fake ID and on the stage these girls were like, making eachother squirt. It was the craziest fucking thing I saw with my eyes. I promise it’ll be a night we all will never forget.”

“I mean it’s the box guys, everyone has to go at least once before they leave New York, and we’ll get you home before you need to go to your rehearsal.” Rose prods at you.

This was your chance to take the night off, to be free. Fuck it.

“Oh fuck yeah we’re going.” You plead. You’re night, so make it yours.

“YES THAT’S MY GIRL.” Hannah hugs you, “ A warning though we all need to dress really nice but semi-slutty. The bouncers let you in on your vibe and your party size, luckily they let in parties of 4 often and we have the money and real ID’s to show. Plus we’re all pretty fucking hot.”

The perfect dress you own for this night, a sheer shimmer slip on dress that only covers your nipples and a slit of fabric to cover your pussy. For a burlesque show you’re going match that fucking vibe. Underneath you put on a set of lingerie that would keep any odors from lingering but was still covered in crystals and made your whole body shine.

You felt like a performer yourself, who fucking knows. Maybe you would be on that damn stage tonight. You needed to feel something after Frankie.

You hadn’t thought about him all day. You were going to see him tomorrow, but things would be awkward again, and when were you going to be alone again with him. In the off chance to ask him what that almost kiss was? Not to gain anything for yourself, but to just have an explanation.

Tonight would be your fill in from him.

“Hey you want to smoke before? Just to heighten the experience? You don’t have to though.” Laylah asks.

You turn to her, “Fuck you look amazing Lay, I mean breathtaking.” She was wearing a mesh golden short dress, and she had the same idea of you wearing lingerie underneath, showing off all your tattoos. “Pack the fucking bowl at this point, it’ll send me somewhere else this night that I want to relive forever.”

--------------

You get to the front of the line before the club with you, and notice how funny the bouncer looks. He’s trying to look scary to the common public, but to you he looks like a little fluffy unicorn.

He takes one look at you and your friends asks for ID and to look at a credit card. Hannah pulls it out and you drum roll in your head.

“Alright I suppose.” He says.

You kiss the big baldy unicorn and wish him the best night. You walk through the entrance and feel this storm of a new identity tacking onto you.

This is my night.

A hostess finds you and seats you in a private corner on the top floor near the stage, the ceilings are so high and the intimate room is illuminated in such a warm tone, you feel like you could pass out you're so happy.

“I have to hand you guys these stickers for your phone camera. We don’t allow any photography. If a staff member sees you taking a picture or taking off your sticker, we have to escort you out.” The hostess explains.

“So this is the nightclub where the celebs unleash their inner dirty?” What you asked felt so childish but it was a funny question, and you could barely think you were so high.

The hostess laughs and just walks away with your credit card.

“Girls were in for a long night.” Laylah roars out.

The music was already loud, a plate of dick shaped chocolate strawberries were ordered, and rounds of shots were taken. You didn’t take any, being crossed was not the night you wanted before your first rehearsal. A ginger ale would do just fine.

The middle of the bottom floor becomes a place for people to mosh as the music plays and you immediately feel drawn. Dancing is what your body craves. You head down the stairs and Laylah follows you.

A singer comes out onto the stage along with dancers, they are all barely dressed but their makeup is flawless. They are all spitting images of Roman gods. You couldn’t look away.

“Hi everyone I’m Eartheater and tonight we have a special song for you tonight.” She herself looked like Bella Hadid but on steroids. Her body was carved with the hands of the sun. “This is a shiny crowd tonight I see.” She says looking down at you and your friends. You cheer her on.

Every corner of the club was full. Everywhere you looked someone was moaning, people were touching each other, kissing. You weren’t bothered, people were giving affection to one another and it made you happy. If you were sober maybe it would’ve grossed you out but you looked up and saw 4 naked bodies, 2 hanging on the railing for dear life, oragasming the night away. You laughed so loud people smiled at you. The whole room felt like it was slow motion.

-----play Solid Liquid Gas, by Eartheater

“This song I actually thought of in this very room, and listening to it high makes my body tingle, so I hope you share that same experience with me tonight.”

She starts singing and immediately you’re taken away. This song alone could make you orgasm. It was sparkles speaking in your head and the base was felt in the core of your body. You were moving around in the crowd along Laylah, feeling the sweat accumulate all over you.

Your smile couldnt go away and your body rolled with the beat drops. Music high, makes your body go to outer space.

The dancers were all over and the room was so dimly lit, Eartheater dropped into the crowd and pulled you two up, “Give the crowd a show, pretty girls.” She smiled.

So you both continued to dance together, with the singer and the dancers. Never stopping, embracing the sensuality of the room, realizing this is a once in a lifetime experience. You could hear Rose and Hannah cheering for you both so loud.

Nobody knew you in this room, there were no phones. The disconnect turns you on, but you scan the crowd and see a group of men in the back, one that looks familiar to your heart.

It’s fucking Frankie.

He’s looking at you, taking a sip of his beer. He’s never seen you like this. He was with his friends that were also your teachers, but you didn't care. You couldn’t give less of a fuck if they all saw you at this club right now. Tomorrow you would most likey hate yourself for your fuck it mindset, but you could deny that was you on the stage.

Frankie was practically fucking you with his eyes, and you almost lost it. Right then and there if he walked up to the stage and fucked the life out of you, you wouldn’t have cared. No matter how high or not, you wanted him, you desired his touch. You would give this whole room a show if that meant you could be with him.

Your nipples hardened as he swept down your body. His expression turned into that downturned smile of his. He knew he was fucking with you. Laylah kept dancing around you, spraying a bottle of wine all over the stage and dancers. The room was moving at two frames per second but you told Laylah you were going to go to the bathroom.

“You’re sure I don’t need to come?”

“I’m sure, I just really need to piss.” You yell over the music.

You walk off the stage and keep your eyes on him, you just smile and look down. You wanted him to follow you, but would he take the ruse? Would he take that risk for you?

You get inside the bathroom and it's a bigger single stall and every wall is a mirror. You were surprised it was clean for a sex club. You check yourself in the mirror, all your makeup was off and your lingerie was still intact with your sheer dress. You felt lucky your makeup was sweat off and not smudged.

The door opens. You don’t look to the side of the mirror, and he’s standing in the doorway.

“That door opening is music to my ears.” You turn to him, “What are you doing at a sex club?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He’s wearing all leather and his usual trucker hat, his strong arms showing in his jacket. That itself makes your knees go weak.

His hair is ruffled as always and his scruff makes him look so hot. His presence made the tension rise. His rich husky scent was going to send you over board.

“I thought I was so high I was imagining you.” You laugh.

“You’re high?” He moves closer to you.

He’s so much taller than you, you feel so small compared to him.

“Sorta, I wanted to take my mind off of everything.” You admit turning back around. He was the reason.

“You can tell me to leave, if you want.” He stops mid room, in his husky tone.

“Stay, please. I want you with me.”

You wanted him with you all the time, and this was the first time you were going to be honest.

He gets closer to you and you analyze his face, his wrinkles, his dimples, his nose. Everything about him turned you on. You were both different people tonight.

You brought your hand to hold his face and you smiled.

He leans his forehead on yours, and you both breathe heavily looking at each other, his nose touching yours. He brought his hands to your face and you closed your eyes. You felt so safe right now.

His expression softened due to your touch.

“You always have this stagnant expression on your face for everyone, but when I’m with you, you immediately change-”

He closed the gap between you both so fast, you thought his lips on yours were fake. Everything was so heighted right now. His lips were so soft on yours and. It felt like an orange sunset. You both melded against each other. You couldn’t breathe, he was all over you. You braced your hands on the sink.

He gasps for air, “You’re so fucking beautiful pretty girl, I’ve wanted to kiss you since day one.”

That makes you whine. “And if you make that sound again it’s gonna make me do things I want to save for when we're actually alone.”

“So then fucking do them, use me. I don’t care.”

He slides his tongue across his teeth and shakes his head, “I could never use you, sweetheart. I don’t fuck the first night, let alone the first date which I havent been given the privledge to ask for.” He pauses to kiss you again, “In due time my needy pretty girl.” He puts a piece of hair behind your ear.

You were his pretty girl. If you weren’t already melting into his body, your brain felt like mashed potatoes, you couldn't think of one thing to say.

“Wrap your legs around me.” He orders. As you do he hoists you on the bathroom sink, standing in between your legs. He runs his hands up and down your overlay dress, moving closer and closer to your nipples, making you lean against the mirror. Whimpering when he finally touches the lightly covered skin. The weight of his fingers makes you shudder.

“When I saw you walking into the club, I almost lost my shit. I wanted to walk up to you, but I saw your friends and didn’t know what to do. And then I look up at the stage 10 minutes later and there's this beautiful girl lady dancing with a bunch of naked people and I couldn’t control myself following her into the bathroom.” He pinches the fabric over your nipple and you wince with a smile.

“You dirty perv, I could scream right now.” You warn.

“The only screaming you make right won’t be quite from that.” And he immediately dips down and latches onto your throat.

He groans into you, and you bring your hands to his unruly hair. You close your eyes and moan as he hits the spot. All your dreams are coming true right now.

“Are you giving me hickies Mr. Morales?” You ask.

He looks up to you and takes your lips again. His tongue on your felt like the world was right. No matter how wrong this could have looked to the common public, you felt like the world's happiest person right now, “Maybe.”

“I bet you liked that. Me calling you Mr. and I bet you loved Sir, huh?

“Don’t be a tease, you’ll fucking kill me.”

“Then give me more.” You taunt.

He was a rabid beast, his hands were moving lower and lower down your back, and your legs were moving wider and wider, inviting him in. You were wiggling against him, trying to feel any sense of relief. If he took one swipe to your clit, you’d explode.

“Do you want to be touched tonight, pretty girl?” He asks.

You’re so drunk on him you can barely answer, “Give me your words or I’ll just keep kissing you and keep my hands off.”

“Give me a second to conjure up a sentence around you, fuck.” You slur out. Being high and him being between your legs almost made you ascend right there. “Let me touch you first, please.” You plead trying to get off the counter.

“Oh no no, sweetheart. Tonight is about you, we can explore more another night.” He places his hand over your pussy and your jaw drops open. The weight of his hand alone was too much. He pushes harder, “Now use those words of yours and tell me what to do to you.”

“Frankie please make me cum, please. I’ll be so good, I’ll do anything to earn it.” You plead.

“You’re being a good girl by using your words, that’s all I needed to know.” He immediately pushes your mesh dress up to your hips on the sink, and places his hands back to the fabric of your silver underwear. Slowly pulling the fabric to the side.

Normally you would be scared for this to happen, you were so self conscious about what men would think about what you looked like down there, how you womenscaped and you hadn’t shaved in a few weeks. But nonetheless, your body was care-free.

He took in his breath, “Look at this beautiful pussy, how wet you are for me. Were you this wet for me when you saw me up on that stage the first time.” He asks in a low baritone. His voice drop gave you a hint he liked what he saw.

“I’m always wet when I see you, you should know that by now.” You were, he constantly turned you on.

“I do know now, you’re a fucking mess for me. You’re dripping all over the sink.” He fingers crowd at your entrance, collecting the liquid. The air of the bathroom meeting center made you shiver. He looks down at where his hand meets your cunt and brings his fingers to his mouth.

Time feels so slow you don’t even know what to think, this is the most erotic thing that has ever happened to you.

He licks his fingers clean of your juices and all you could do is stare at him in shock. Your consciousness kicks in and you’re scared he might think you taste gross.

He finishes and places his fingers against your opening again, rubbing your clit softly. Slightly opening his mouth to yours in a soft gaze, “Your pussy- is dangerously sweet. If we were not in public, I’d be eating you out for hours. So we need to be careful. ” He kisses you again, rubbing circles on your clit, changing direction and speed, he knew he was driving you bat shit. “I can feel your clit fluttering, that perfect little bud begging for relief, huh?”

You shake your head.

“Good, now faster.” He frantically pushes his fingers inside you. You’re moaning louder than you thought you could ever sing. His thick fingers feel like heaven.

“Fuck, Frankie.. You’re gonna make me cum, fuck fuckfufufuck.” He’s moving at a prompt speed, stretching you out, not pausing once. You hold your back up against the mirror and move your hands to his hand that is holding his weight on your stomach.

“Yeah that’s it. Hold onto me, hold me as I finger fuck you. You’re doing so good, sweet girl.” His words make your walls tighten around his fingers. The squelching of your pussy and your moans fill his head. He was looking at you the entire time, your face contorting because you couldn’t handle the pleasure.

You look into his eyes and he meets yours, his pupils almost fully dilated. He’s so focused on moving his fingers inside you, you can’t help but screech when your orgasm builds up.

“Oh my god, frankie.” You catch your breath, “It feels so good, I’m so close.”

He makes you release your hold on him and he moves his other hand to your clit and traces his thumb over your pussy, The stimulation giving you a final send off. He grunts and pushes his fingers inside you faster.

“Cmon now sweetheart, make that perfect pussy cum all over my fingers, give me more to suck off. Soak me.” He commands.

The bubble inside you pops and his fingers continuously hit the perfect spot inside your pussy, “Shit shit shit, Frankie, I’m cumming, Im cumming.” You scream for the whole club to hear. Your legs start to close together, you need the pressure to withstand that much force goring through your body.

“Look at you, you’re so pretty when you cum. So fucking perfect.”

Both of you catch your breath and feel the aftershocks of your orgasm when his fingers slide out of you.

He drops to his knees, his head right in front of your sopping cunt.

“You’re gonna learn that I always get my fill. As long as I’m on my knees, these legs will stay fucking open for me.” He utters.

After your little recovery he dips his head to your cunt and latches on, sucking the life out of your pussy. Moving his tongue from your clit, diving into your hole.

“That’s it, taking it so well for me, who’s my beautiful girl? ” He gasps up, “I would die for this pussy. So warm and tight.” He zips down again and his new pace makes your eyes cross.

You looked ahead in the mirror and looked at Frankies figure, in full leather, you were barely wearing anything, and his head bopping to fulfill the pleasure of your pussy made you whimper like a maniac. His hands against your inner thighs felt too natural. His skin against yours was so radiant, you couldn’t wait to have your time with him.

He takes one of his hands off your thigh and shifts it to your chest, going up your dress and through your bra. He manages to squeeze your tit. His large hand holding your body made your hands latch into his hair and push his head closer to your pussy. His large nose going into your dripping hole was killing you.

“Frankie I’ve never come like that before, that was life changing.” You admit, arching your back.

He looks up, “Then watch this.” He takes his hand on your chest and shoves it back into your sopping cunt. He’s sucking your clit and fucking you with his digits. He already knew your body so well, you couldn't comprehend how he knew how to undo you completely.

His fingers were reaching your g-spot a million miles an hour, finding the curve of your vagina so naturally. His lips felt like a magnet to your clit.

No person has ever done this to you before, so passionately and so vulgarly. It was all so overpowering, your stomach started to convulse, “Frankie, I can’t do it, I can’t. It’s too much. I'm gonna come again.” You mewl.

“Please baby, come for me. I need you to come for me, I know it’s a lot but you can do it.”

And that, you see pure white. Your mouth stays open and you feel his eyes on you again but you couldn’t bother looking at him. It felt like your two souls were being bound together. Something was tying you to him as you finished.You saw what he did to your body. You had just met him only weeks ago, and he was with you here. Now.

Your heart was breaking and repairing all over again. The orgasms were fucking with your head and body, and you thought you saw the universe. Being high and having an orgasm was another check off of the list.

He was your sun right now, he was all you needed.

You ran your hand over your heart to calm yourself.

“Baby, come back to me.” He pulls you out.

He’s whipping you down with a watered paper towel, cleaning your underwear as best he can and putting your dress back in place. You are in awe at how beautiful he is. You couldn't believe he was doing this for you.

“Guess what.” He asks.

“What?” You laugh. Of course he would ask a question after you took the life out of you.

“Well good and bad news. Good, ’m addicted to you, have been since day one. You’re beautiful inside and out. Bad, I will never get enough of you.” He states unapologetically.

That makes your heart drop.

“No man has ever said that to me.” You look down.

“I don’t know how. You’re perfect and I’ll say it a million times over for you to believe it. I would have fucking sit on my face for hours, just so I can inhale you and make cum over and over again.” He grabs your ass, “Those sounds you make, are my music and I would listen to that for the rest of my life.” He helps you off the sink, “ And I could imagine the sounds you’d make once we finally fuck.”

That made you groan.

He whispers in your ear, “We have a lot to do together angel. And I hope you know part of that will involve your pussy squirting.”

That made your stomach drop to your feet. All he does is keep fucking with your heart. You bring your fingers to your lips reminiscing the feeling of his lips on yours. Already missing him and his touch.

“Cmon baby, let’s walk out together and dance. We can just blend in the crowd and live through the night together. Then you can go back to your friends and we can see each other again tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod, and leave the bathroom with him. Part of you is still there. Wishing for your privacy again, but still excited for the awaited future together.

—-

previous || next

Authors Note: writing Santiago dialogue is so much fun. I can imagine oscar isaac just being the sweetest and calming to the reader LIKE CMON. but uh, yeah kinda first time writing smut SO PLEASEEE don’t be mean. But if this was good also lmk. I planned more of the story!! I want like 20-30ish chapters.

comment your thoughts ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

this is the song at the club and it’s fucking amazing.

[valos-venus-doom]

Drawn & Quartered [Chapter 2]

The sun had just come up, but Caitlyn didn't sleep, how could she? Not after her boyfriend had just broken up with her after their worst fight they'd ever had. They'd had spats and disagreements in the past, but nothing like this. She had screamed "fuck you" in his face. She'd never done that to anyone before. Caitlyn wondered if the 6 month anniversary of her father's death was making her more emotional and fiestier than usual. She couldn't believe Ville didn't even consider what the date was. He had been such a pillar of support for her after her dad died. And on the one month anniversary of his death, he took it upon himself to take care of her and help her through the day. His actions toward her during her trips when he KNEW that skiing was an important part of her & her dad's relationship made her furious. Was he being thoughtless? Or did he just not care?

Right now, her heartache was disguised by rage, and she was packing up her belongings. And it wasn't too much, admittedly, Ville had bought all of their furniture and most of their household items, so moving out wouldn't take Caitlyn very long at all. She would definitely be gone by the time she got back, no way was she going to let him tell her to get out of his house. She'd rather leave on her own accord.

Between packing, she was also cleaning. Spite cleaning, but cleaning none the less. "He wants to fucking throw me away like I'm nothing? Fine. I'll remind him what the fuck he's lost." Caitlyn thought to herself. She would make the house sparkle so he would regret his decision to breakup with her.

As angry as she was. she still kept looking over at her phone. She was dying for Ville to call her and say he was sorry, that he didn't mean it. But Caitlyn knew that probably wasn't going to happen. Ville was busy with work-related things, more than likely, but more than that, Ville was one stubborn mother fucker. He hated to admit when he was wrong and since he had told Caitlyn "I'm not the bad guy here" she wasn't holding her breath for an apology.

She'd already called Nina, who went on a long rant about what an absolute inconsiderate man baby Ville was and offered up her spare bedroom in her apartment to Caitlyn until she found a place of her own, which Caitlyn readily accepted. She was not going to be here when Ville got back, and she didn't think she'd find her own apartment in under 10 days.

Across town, that same evening, Ville was in his hotel room, wishing he'd brought his guitar with him. He was furious and wanted to write. He was scribbling on a "Holiday Inn" branded notepad that was on the desk, the matching pen in hand. But he kept scratching things out as fast as he wrote them down. It just didn't work without a guitar.

He sighed,put down the pen and paper and opted for TV instead. But unfortunately, nothing seemed good. He saw a new episode of a cooking show he and Caitlyn both liked, and for a brief moment, he thought "Nope, can't watch that without her." until he remembered. His stomach flipped for a brief second but he shook it off quickly. He was trying so hard to remain angry because deep down he knew that if he let himself feel sad, he would run right back to her. But no, not this time. Caitlyn has some serious ass kissing and apologizing to do. After all he did for her? He thought to himself, reigniting his rage. As he scrolled through the TV Guide the XXX titles began popping up and so did a little stirring within his boxers. "Probably should have let her touch me last night..." Ville grumbled, remembering Cait had tried to get him hard to get him less angry. Oh how badly Ville wanted to hold her down and have dirty, angry sex. Every time they fought the makeup sex was mind blowing. Caitlyn would also let Ville get rough with her during those angry sex sessions which relieved so much tension for the two of them. Ville began to question if he should just go home and get her into bed... But he shook it off again. He wasn't going to think with his dick. NO. This time Caitlyn had to apologize to him. He was adamant that he was NOT in the wrong this time. He was a tempermental asshole, sure, but she had fucked up this time. Not him. Ville knew it was only a matter of time before she broke down and called him. If not, he knew she'd be there when he got home in 10 days. She would probably be dying to set things right with him then.

Across town, Nina, trying to be a good friend, had also convinced Caitlyn to come over that evening to drink and have fun, and Caitlyn readily accepted that too. 

So later that evening, Caitlyn found herself sitting in her friend's living room on their second bottle of wine. She had cried on Nina's shoulder and the girls played angry breakup anthems that they were loudly and drunkenly singing at the top of their lungs. Close to 9pm, the door opened and Mikel, Nina's fiancé, and Matthias, Mikel's brother, walked in.

"Woah, what are you girls up to?" Mikel asked with a smile, taking in the scene of two drunk 30 year old women in their pajamas, surrounded by takeout containers and wine bottles. Gotye's hit song "Somebody That I Used To Know" playing on the stereo.

"Ville broke up with her, so we're having a 'Men Ain't Shit' party." Nina smirked as she fell into her fiancé's arms on the couch.

"Well are we allowed to join?" Matthias asked, "I brought vodka." he held up the bottle and smiled at Caitlyn.

"Fuck yes you can." Caitlyn slurred, grabbing the bottle from his hands.

Caitlyn knew Matthias, he was a friend of Ville's from way back in the pre-HIM days, and he ended up working for HIM as a roadie, so Matthias had been on many tours with Ville. However, prior to Screamworks being released, Matthias had quit and opened up a musical instrument shop with his brother Mikel in Helsinki. 

Caitlyn and Matthias had been at many HIM events and parties together in the last few years. In fact, it was how Nina and Mikel ended up meeting. Caitlyn brought Nina to a HIM show, and Matthias was there to work and Mikel tagged along. Mikel and Nina hit it off immediately and got engaged last year on their one year dating anniversary. 

"Sorry to hear about your dad, by the way." Matthias said to Caitlyn. "I don't know if Nina ever mentioned it, but Mikel & I lost our father to cancer when we were kids."

Caitlyn raised her eyebrows, "Oh, no I didn't know that. What kind of cancer?"

"He, uh, had a brain tumor." Matthias replied, taking another swig of vodka before handing it back to Caitlyn.

"You're joking." Caitlyn remarked, "Same with my dad."

"No shit?" Matthias replied, surprised. "Yeah, it um, it was so fast. It started with the headaches and then after he got diagnosed he was gone. Like *that*." he snapped his fingers to emphasize.

Caitlyn nodded, "Yeah, my dad passed away pretty quickly too. They went in to operate and..." she trailed off, biting her lip. 

Matthias frowned and put his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry." he whispered. "I know exactly how you feel."

Caitlyn leaned in a little to Matthias, who was sat on her left on Nina's couch. "Yeah." she sniffed, "And now I get to deal with moving and this stupid breakup... It was 6 months ago today."

Matthias took another drink, "So you and Valo broke up?"

Caitlyn nodded, "Yeah. Uh... he broke up with me." she looked down at her hands that held the tissue Matthias had passed to her when she sniffled.

Matthias sighed, "Sorry to hear that."

"But I won't talk shit, don't worry. I know he's your friend." Caitlyn clarified.

"Yes and no." Matthias answered her quickly. Caitlyn gave him a questioning look before he continued "He's a great guy, talented guy... but he's a nightmare to work with, especially when things weren't going perfectly smooth."

"Yeah, no fucking kidding." Caitlyn scoffed and took a large swig of the vodka. "Ville? A nightmare to work with? Certainly not." Caitlyn thought to herself and rolled her eyes

Matthias chuckled, "So yeah, I mean, I like the guy and everything but sheesh... But that's why when Mikel said he wanted to open up the music shop I was all in." he paused for a moment to open a beer. "How did you manage to stay with him so long anyway? I can only imagine how he is at home."

"Can we change the subject please?" Caitlyn asked quickly, "I'm kinda over thinking about him right now. I'm hurt and sad and pissed off... I need to stop thinking about him."

Matthias bit his lip, "Fair enough. Sorry."

Caitlyn sighed, "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I just... I'm sorry" her eyes dropped as she fought back tears.

Matthias reached over and grabbed her hand with one of his and lifted her chin with the other. He looked her in the eyes, "Hey, it's all good. You don't need to apologize, Cait. No need to apologize."

[kianbe]

kian is fortunate to have so many good people in his life, and whenever he remembers just how lucky he is, a pleasantly balmy warmth overtakes him. sure, his mom and dad may sometimes smother him with their worries, and his older siblings may be hard on him, too, but he's not once doubted their love for him. they've never made him feel unsupported, or unloved, and he can say the same about a majority of his friends, too. there's not a bad apple among them.

namu, in particular, has been a constant in his life for so long, that all he can really hope is, going forward, their relationship will continue to be special; unbreakable. there's nothing he'd love more than for it to remain this strong until the end of time. maybe it's cheesy, but what the two of them have built together means a lot to him, and he knows that the feeling is definitely mutual, too.

"the break was always the worst part for me, too!" he admits, but he learned from his mother that it's good to take breaks sometimes; to become re-inspired by putting the instrument down and having new experiences. "you and me always made it work though. do you remember how often we'd get yelled at for playing too loudly on her days off?" kian chuckles, then shakes his head. "we drove her pretty crazy, to be honest... i'm shocked that she didn't just lock everything away and tell us to spend more time outside."

times were much simpler back then, and he often longs to relive those days. compared to many people his age, kian has it pretty easy in general, but the sense of freedom that childhood gives a person dulls significantly when they become an adult. he's learned that recently.

waving off namu's offer to help him pay, kian grins; hoping that his longtime pal doesn't take his insistence as an insult. "nah, tonight's on me! you're saving my life by coming in and hanging out with me, so the least i can do is feed you tons of food!" though, when dessert is mentioned, he pauses. "damn it..." he curses, face-palming. "i knew i was forgetting something after checking out on the delivery app—i totally forgot sweets!" chiding himself, he looks over to namu and shrugs. "fiiine, i guess you can buy dessert later. you can also choose what we get since i'm the one who picked what restaurant we're getting dinner from."

though, as the conversation lands on what namu's next cover should be, kian begins wracking his brain for ideas. "what if you did something kind of, like, in the spirit of halloween? it doesn't have to be 'spooky' or anything, but you know!" he asks, nibbling down on his bottom lip; deep in thought. "like, what about 'i put a spell on you' by nina simone, or 'superstitious' by stevie wonder, or even like... 'bury a friend' by billie eilish, or something? do any of those scream at you?"

there's a giggle that namu can't help but to let out as the other squeezes his spine. in some capacity, it was almost like namu and kian are twins, with the way the two of them have always been attached at the hip. maybe kian's mom is right, about the two of them having been twins in a past life, considering they kind of act as so in this lifetime. it was like he was meant to go to their music store, after a particularly hard day on crutches, that very first time he had come into the music shop because his uncle wanted to buy him something special. it was a destiny of sort, that he was meant to meet kian, and the rest of the kim family. perhaps, maybe his parents also knew that namu really needed something, needed someone; so they had purposely put him in the path of kian. he just really has hope that they can continue onto their dreams together - that would be really nice, he thinks. he chuckles, before nodding his head, "yeah, of course! i have nothing else to do and plus, we'd just get to hang out!" he says, a soft giggle leaving his lips once more.

he nodded his head towards the words, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "ah, i know! i used to get really antsy during the break of no music classes!" he says, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. truth be told, namu has just always wanted to do music all day long; music is his first love, after all. it's seemingly all he's ever wanted to do... well, at least most of the time, because like any kid, he had always gone back and forth, before completely settling on music permanently. he nodded his head, excitingly. "i promise if anyone comes in, our be the best salesman!" he says, before another soft laugh leaves namu's lips, head shaking a bit at himself.

namu moves over to sit upon a stool, letting his feet dangle a bit. his eyes look upon kian, head tilted a bit as he watches the other begin to order a bunch of stuff. "ah, can i help pay for some of it?" namu asked, seemingly feeling bad that kian was buying such a large meal for them. "or i can just be the one to buy dessert later!" he said, before another chuckle leaves his lips. nonetheless, namu lets kian continuing on the ordering of the food, eyes looking around the familiar shop for a few moments.

he chuckles, a quick clap of the hands together. "are we going to feast like kings?" he asked, before another chuckle leaves his lips afterwards. "ah, i'm trying to decide on what song i should do next! i haven't quite decided which one to do next," he states. "should i go newer? older? i can't decide!" he says, a giggle leaving his lips as he's nudged. "what do you think? what should i sing next?"

[usmsgutterson]

The Entwining of Two Souls- Kaz Brekker

I aged Kaz and the crows up to around 24-25, and I went ahead and made this a bit of a soulmate au, so yeah! Also, I’m sorry for not getting requests done, it’s just that my time to write has been cut in half since March break as the last of second semester picks up, but I’ll hopefully still be putting out a few requests in the next few months and my account should be back in the swing of things by June, and even as such, this one is currently unedited but I’ve been working on it for a bit, so I wanted to get something out. 

Fic type- the fluff in this fic is really heartachy

Warnings- Kaz is a little ooc, mentions of blood and crooks, engagements and such are talked about a lot

As Kaz begins the long walk it’ll take to get him from the third to the bottom floor of the Slat, he can’t help but realize how much his life has changed since he was a greedy idiot who’d agreed to do a job in the Ice Court. He’d taken his share of the money and put it to good use, using it for expansions in the Dregs and to dismantle the Dime Lions. 

He’d felt lost his entire life. It seemed to be one of the only emotions that was able to not lose patience in picking the locks of the barricades he’d created to surround himself. Feeling lost was the only true emotion that he’d gotten used to aside from anger. It picked the lock on every barricade Kaz could’ve created in his mind, not seemingly wanting to let up for anything. It annoyed him to no end, but it was always there. Feeling lost and angry were his defaults. 

They were his defaults when he was younger, anyhow. As he got older, worked on himself, the barricades that he’d built began to fall and dismantle themselves, making more room for emotions like the ones he’d spent so much time refusing to acknowledge. 

And, as he hit the final step, relief that still feels odd floods through his veins. He gives Anika a nod as he heads out, moving down to the Crow Club. The thump of his cane against the ground is a welcome sound, one that he knows he won’t lose no matter how old he gets. 

The sun has barely begun to set over Ketterdam, a rare, warm day having decided to grace the city. Kaz grins to himself as he notices the soft orange hues of the sky. Rarely does such a view decide to grace Ketterdam, and he’s almost tempted to slow his pace just to get to enjoy it that much more. 

But he keeps going, heart slowly filling with resentful contentment as he walks. He’s lived in Ketterdam for a decade and a half, spent more than half of his life to that point with lodgings in the worst part of the city, and yet, it feels like home. 

It feels so much like home that, to think about what could’ve happened had his father not died, had he and Jordie not had to move away from the farm, feels weird. It feels unideal. It’s not the life that Kaz wants at 24 and it’s strange to recognize that it was the very same life he wished for at 14. 

“Ah, Mr. Brekker!” Kaz hears the familiar voice as he gets to a good couple feet off the entrance. “Still got that terrible haircut, I see!” 

“Too long, Zenik,” he greets, running a gloved hand through his hair as he approaches. 

“Too long indeed,” she said. 

The pair of them head into the club, weaving their way through the tables and toward the back room. Kaz’s cane hits against the wooden floor as he walks, intimidating the players at the tables as he normally does. 

“You did it, Brekker,” Nina murmured. “I honestly don’t know what you did, but whatever you did, it’s done.” 

“I...” Kaz trails, only realizing in his loss for words that it almost sounds like a compliment coming from Nina Zenik, the woman who seemed plenty happy enough in doling out insults in Kaz’s direction. “Are you complimenting me?”

“And what would I have to compliment you for?” Nina asked. “The legitimization of several Dregs owned businesses? The fact that you’re currently grinning and haven’t even noticed?” Kaz rolled his eyes, letting his grin drop. 

“Seven years of knowing you,” Kaz said. “I thought we were done with the lies by now.” 

“Oh, we certainly are, Kaz,” she said. “I’m not lying to you, either. You were grinning just then, and the Crow Club is the closest to legitimate as I’ve seen it since the Ice Court.” 

Nina opens the door, letting Kaz follow as they find themselves in a back room with a door to the right. Expansions had lead to a series of underground trails from the back room to various parts of Ketterdam, and Kaz knew where the pair were heading without even having to think about it. Inejs berth, number twenty two. 

“Thank you,” Kaz said. Nina gave him a grin as they exited through the door to the right of the wall, heading down the pathway three halls off to the left. 

“Don’t thank me just yet,” she said. “I have yet to give you the ring you requested.” 

“Zoyas-”

“You offered eight thousand dollars, Kaz,” said Nina. “Of course she and Nikolai said yes. It’s in my pocket right now. Are you planning on making a big deal?”

“I proposed just before they left, actually. Promised I’d have a ring by the time they came back.”

“You could’ve stolen one just as nice,” Ninas hand went to her pocket, hand closing around the velvet box as Kaz shook his head. 

“Too momentous an occasion,” he said. “I’ve proven time and time again that I’m a monster, Nina. Preforming a heist for some ring made of diamonds will certainly do nothing when it all adds up. If anything, it’ll just make me look greedy.” 

“You are greedy,” said Nina. “The Bastard of The Barrel is run by greed, is he not?”

Kaz gives a sigh. “Greed and love, it seems.” 

Nina grinned. “I love that,” she said. Kaz sidestepped, not quite wanting to risk Nina giving his hair a ruffle and messing it up. “The Bastard of The Barrel is operated, in part, by love? I must say. I don’t think I’d expected something like this from you. I never would’ve seven years ago, certainly.” 

“If you ever-”

“I know,” she smiled. “If I ever tell anyone outside of Jesper, Wylan, Inej, or Y/N that you admitted that to me, I should start running.” 

They were otherwise silent as they headed through the pathway, opening a door and heading out through the entrance of a Dregs owned restaurant and bar. Ten feet off stood you, Inej, Jesper, and Wylan, and as Kaz catches sight of you, he feels his breath hitch. 

Nina gave a light chuckle. “Every time,” she said, taking the ring out of her pocket and passing it to Kaz. “I can’t tell if your heart skips a beat anymore, but your breath never fails to catch.” 

“Hush,” Kaz murmured, clutching the velvet box as they approached. 

“Oh, good!” Inej said. “You two are finally here.”

“Sorry for the wait,” murmured Kaz. “My leg has been acting up with the weather lately.”

“No worries,” Inej said. “Glad that you made it in one piece now that the Dime Lions are rebuilding.”

“I’ll take them down piece by piece,” said Kaz. “Just like I did the first time around.” 

“How were the tunnels?” Wylan asked. Everyone seemed grateful for the subject change. “The one that takes you from the Crow Club to the diner is still decently under construction, so I apologize if it’s terrible.”

“No need, merchling,” said Kaz. “It was fine. A little dusty, but in due time, that’ll fade.” You move to stand next to him, and wordlessly, Kaz slips the ring procured by Nina onto your finger. 

“Where was it that we agreed on for dinner?” Jesper asked. “I believe there’s an engagement we’ve had to wait four months to celebrate.” 

“The Kooperom,” said Jesper. With that, the six of you began walking. 

Kaz feels it again, that distinctive heartachy feeling. The one of realization that he doesn’t just feel angry or lost anymore, but instead, as he walks with his crows, he feels joy. Legitimate joy, stuff that came from a very long, often exhausting, healing process. 

While he’d not signed onto the Dregs for camaraderie, romance, or people within whom he found a family, it seemed that it was what he got, and he wasn’t angry with it. In fact, as he walked to the Kooperom and listened to Inej and Wylan chat as Jesper filled Nina in on several months spent abroad working with a Fabrikator, as you talked of altars given to saints that you knew he’d find a tad ridiculous, he felt his heart begin to swell.

“What?” You asked as Nina pulled the door to the restaurant open.

“Nothing,” said Kaz. “I just...”

You gave him a grin, nodding. “Ketterdam feels distinctly home,” you said. Kaz nodded at that, hating how you summed up how he felt with a single sentence.

“Precisely,” he said. 

“Jespers jokes,” he added a moment later. You laughed, the pair of you staying outside as Wylan and the others grabbed a table. “Yours and Inejs laughter when you dance as Wylan plays the flute.” 

“The scent of Ninas toffees and the saltwater that you can smell, no matter where you are along the docks, Inejs sea shanties,” You said. “Dark trench coats, ridiculous hats, crooks dressed as businessmen.” 

“Didn’t happen upon any of those in Ravka, did you?” He asked. “Trust me, Y/N. We’re the worst kind of people to fall in love with.”

“You’re certainly not,” you said. “I’d say a crook dressed as a businessman is the best kind of a person to love, even on the tough days.”

“Even when he comes home with blood staining his clothes? The blood of an innocent man on his face?” 

“You’ve killed very few innocent men, my love.” Kaz almost hates the flip his heart does as you use the nickname. 

“Even as such, going to bed beside a man who smells like blood can’t be a fun ordeal.”

“Stop trying to give me reasons not to marry you,” you said with a laugh. “You’re worthy of my love, Kaz. Plenty more worthy than any legitimate businessman.” Kaz laughed slightly, leaning his back against the wall.

“I’m not trying to convince you not to marry me,” said Kaz. “I’m trying to squeeze in some alone time before we head to the Slat and have to deal with mountains of paperwork.”

“You speak like you’ve not been keeping up with the accounts and the business while I’ve been gone,” you said. “I know you better than that, Kaz.”

“People will want to talk to you about the time you spent in Ravka,” said Kaz. 

“I’m sure none of them will be anything but a little upset if I deny them such a request,” you said. “Tonight I just need to get my bearings again. I need inhale the scent of your cologne and watch the waves against the water.” 

“As you wish, my love,” murmured Kaz. The pair of you moved to enter the Kooperom, grinning as you heard laughter coming from the table that Wylan had chosen.

-

“How long until you’re back in Fjerda?” Kaz asked as the six of them entered the Slat in the hours later.

“Two weeks,” said Nina. 

“I must admit, Zenik, it feels good to have some connection to Fjerdan royalty.”

“I can imagine so,” said Nina. “If there are ever any good spots for a job, I’ll make a krydda offer that you simply won’t be able to refuse.” 

Kaz gave her a grin and she headed up to her room. 

“And how are the seas this time of year?” Kaz asked.

“Wonderful, really,” said Inej. “Smooth sailing all around.” Kaz noticed the ring on her finger. She was engaged, and though Kaz did not speak to bring it up, he made a mental note of buying her a pint of whiskey, in the least, to celebrate.

“You’re missed here, Wraith,” said Kaz. 

“If you ever need me for a job, all it takes is a call.” She leapt onto the stairs, heading up them with the poised grace that she always did. 

“Wylan,” Kaz murmured. “Jesper.”

“We’re missed here, too?” 

“Very much,” said Kaz. “Seriously.”

“We’ve got the job in Os Kervo next week,” said Jesper. “The travel there, anyway. You’ll be sick of me again by the time that it’s done.” Kaz gave him a grin as he shook his head. Even as much as Jesper and the rest of the crows seemed capable of getting on his nerves, he’d never tire of them. Not really, anyway. 

“I can’t wait, really,” they were family. All of the crows were family to him, and Kaz almost felt the way he had at seventeen, with Inej a few floors down, Jesper and Wylan few floors up and Nina on the second floor. 

“Night, Dirtyhands,” said Jesper. 

“Night, Fahey,” Kaz murmured.

“Merchling,” you greeted. “How are the markets?”

“They’re well enough,” he said. “Jespers gotten good at playing them, though. No losing streaks just yet.”

“Come for a visit soon, then,” you said. “We’ve got the heist in Os Kervo, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re missed around here.”

“I love you guys,” said Wylan. 

“We love you too,” you said, stepping forward and hugging him tightly. “You’re still up to officiate?”

“Absolutely,” he said as the two of you let go of one another. “Have you picked a date?”

“October 19th,” said Kaz. “Invites are verbal only. We’re keeping it small.”

“A crowd of five?”

“Eight, at most,” you said. “See you tomorrow morning.”

Wylan nodded, heading up to the room that he and Jesper shared, leaving you and Kaz alone in the bottom floor of the Slat with nothing to accompany you but each other and the still lit candles and lights that kept the room from plunging into darkness. 

He turned to you, grin on his face. “Ketterdam feels distinctly home,” he said, echoing your words from earlier. “The smell of brandy ingrained into the floorboards, the sight of bloodied weapons littering the tables.” 

“The sight of bloodstains on the walls, the scent of bourbon and adrenaline lingering in the air.” You grinned back, the pair of you heading deeper into the ground floor. You headed towards the music player that was sat behind the bar, swapping the shitty record for the one you and Kaz had spent several late nights listening to, basking in the quiet as the rest of the world slept. 

Kaz turned down all the bone lights that were still lit and blew out half the candles, leaving the pair of you partially submerged into darkness as the record played. 

You stood in the middle of the floor, nodding and grinning at him.

“I love you, Kaz,” you said. “So much.” 

“It is you in which I’ve found a home,” he said. He grinned back at you, smile genuine and loving as contentment and true, unadulterated love flooded through his heart and pumped out into his bloodstream. 

The pair of you began to dance, almost thoughtless in the effort, dancing just like you’d done countless nights before. Kaz met your gaze as you nodded your head along to the music. 

Kaz felt it then, the distinctive feeling that Inej had told him of once. 

-

“When you love someone, really, well, and truly love them, you’ll know it,” she’d said. “It’ll be small, at first. An inkling of the feelings that’re to come, but one day, you’ll feel it. The saints call it a true love connection.”

“I don’t need a true love connection,” said Kaz. “I run a business. Love is not my end goal.”

“It’ll feel like the universe has bound you to the other person,” Inej continued, ignoring his words. “It’s the distinctive feeling of one soul finding another, the joining of two souls so that, from their connection in this life, they may find one another in the next.” 

“Sounds like a myth,” Kaz had said. 

“It is,” she said. “Very few are blessed with such a feeling. Ravkan people have been known to call it the entwining of two souls.”

“Well, I hope that the saints bless you with such a connection then, Wraith.”

“Thank you, Kaz,” Inej spoke. “Even if it doesn’t happen, the love that you will come to feel for someone will be as true as if it did.”

Kaz had scoffed then, shaking his head. 

“It’s not meant for me,” he said. “Don’t use your prayers to wish it were.”

She gave Kaz a nod, and within seconds, he couldn’t feel her presence anymore. He walked up to the Slat alone, entering just as the rain started.

-

Kaz lets go of your hand to touch his to his chest. “Do you feel it, too?” He asked. 

“What?” You asked him, grin on your face as you let out a breathless laugh. “The chill?”

“Not that,” Kaz becomes breathless as he looks at you again, feels the connection that the Ravkan myth forges. 

“Kaz-” It hits you before you can finish the sentence. The entwining of two souls, a gift blessed by the saints to very few. It almost hurts, at first, but then you feel every part of yourself fill with contentment and longing. 

“The entwining of two souls,” you whisper. Kaz grins, laughter coming out in a hushed breath. “In our connection in this life, we will find each other in the next.” 

He offered you his hand again, and you took it, feeling the contentment settle and the longing fade as you looked at him.

“I love you,” he whispered. You allowed your eyes to close for a moment, almost tempted to allow your every emotion to swallow you whole. 

“I love you too,” you whispered. “My love for you will never cease.”

The pair of you began to dance, laughter carrying through the Slat like the unbroken tune of a record, destined to sing forever. 

[emerald-notes]

Red Hope! - Part 3

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, hospital, drinking, swearing, recurring nightmares, car accidents, blood etc. Genre: Angst Summary: Since Leah is in coma for months, the guilty consciences of the boys are eating them up...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

*************************************************

“Which one do you want this time?” the florist asked his regular customer.

Jimin looked around for a moment, “Those pink ones over there.”

Jimin had been visiting Leah regularly. Whenever he was done with his dance class every day, he would go to the flower shop to buy new flowers for her.

“She can’t even see those flowers you give her.” Hoseok once told him.

“I don’t care.” Jimin had said, “As long as I’m capable of, I’ll do it. So that whenever she wakes up, the first thing she would see are the beautiful flowers by her bedside.”

Hoseok didn’t argue further. Jimin had been bringing flowers to Leah for the past three weeks. He had also asked Hoseok many times to go with him. But Hoseok never visited her, not even once.

When Jimin went inside Leah’s room, he found Nina sitting beside her.

“Oh! It’s you.” Nina said, “new flowers again?”

Jimin nodded. He went to change the flowers that he had brought yesterday from the vase. Though they were still fresh as new, Jimin would still change them every day.

Nina sighed, “What are the uses of them now? You had never cared about her when she was healthy.”

Jimin didn’t answer. He had asked the same question to himself too. He had been regretting it every day. Only if he knew how much it would hurt him once she was gone, he would have never been terrible to her.

“What are they called?” Nina finally asked.

“Garden Primrose.”

*************************************************

It had been more than two months since Leah had saved them from the accident. She was still in a coma. Nobody knew when she was going to come back or if she would ever come back or not.

Hoseok had thought about her quite a lot. Every time Jimin had asked him to go with him, he had refused. Seeing her still body would be too overwhelming for him.

Today, Hoseok had got up his courage to finally visit her in the hospital. As he looked at her motionless body lying on the bed, his eyes filled with tears. At that precise moment, he had a flashback.

Leah was dancing to her favorite music that day. Hoseok had been watching her secretly. He was awed by her skill. “How smooth her moves are!” he had thought.

Before she had ended her dance, Jimin came to stand beside him. Hoseok felt uncomfortable. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to compliment her. Instead of encouraging her for the performance, the boys had joked and laughed at her that day.

Remembering that painful memory, Hoseok couldn’t control his tears. He let them fall. He leaned toward Leah.

“I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough.” Hoseok whispered, “You are truly a gem.”

*************************************************

Min Yoongi had been drinking a lot lately. His mind was racing. He had never felt so helpless before. The only easy way to calm his messy brain was drinking.

He was the worst among the boys. That was what Leah had once told him. He had laughed and said that he was proud about it, that it was rather a compliment.

He remembered how innocent he used to be once. How he had hated all the bullies in his elementary school. He had been scared of the world and hated everyone. But since he had friends, he started to feel more confident.

“How did this happen?” Yoongi questioned himself, “since when did I turn into such a monster?”

He knew he couldn’t undone the damage he had already caused her. He couldn’t even apologize. Seemed like God had taken away that chance from him.

He stroked the piano keys really hard. “Shit,” he swore when his hand banged on a key and it hurt.

He took the bottle beside him and drank. “Guess I’ll just have to drink away all the pain.” He thought.

*************************************************

“Shit” Taehyung had another nightmare, “shit, shit, shit.” He swore while kicking his bed sheets and throwing away his pillow.

Namjoon woke up with a start. “Taehyung,” he called, holding him firmly on his grip. Taehyung opened his eyes wide with full of terror.

“It’s just a dream.” Namjoon reassured him, “You’re alright.”

Taehyung looked confused for a while, trying to process his surroundings, his breathing heavy. As the reality kicked in, he buried his face on his hands. Then he started to sob.

Namjoon brought a glass of water and stood beside Taehyung. He didn’t know what to say. The nightmares were getting more frequent. Maybe he should suggest Taehyung to visit a psychiatrist. Maybe they all should see a psychiatrist. But he wouldn’t dare mention it now to Taehyung. Not when he was in this state.

When he calmed down, Taehyung took the glass and gulped down the water. Then he stood up and walked toward the door.

“Are you going out for fresh air?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung nodded and went out.

On his mind, he was replaying the recurring nightmares he was having since the accident. The contents of the dreams were always similar: The car hitting Leah, her motionless body, the blood coming out of her head. But the thing that terrified Taehyung the most was the blood on his own hands.

Taehyung shivered at the thought of it. It felt like a punishment he was suffering for his past actions.

*************************************************

Namjoon was worried. He worried about himself. He worried about the boys. But mostly, he worried about Leah. Given the chance, he would have gladly taken the place of Leah, saving her and the boys that night. He could have easily given his own life to save theirs.

But karma was a bitch. He knew that they deserved the suffering. They had troubled her enough. Now it was her time to rest while they endured all the pain their guilty conscience had to offer.

It was getting unbearable for Namjoon to see Taehyung waking up from yet another nightmare. Yoongi had started drinking again, the only solution he seemed to have found. Jungkook had stopped going to the school. Even though others were trying hard to act as if everything was fine, he knew deep down they were all hurting.

Namjoon had hard time accepting the situation at first too. But the more he had thought about it, the clearer it became. They had been terrible to Leah. It was only natural for a kind hearted girl like her to smack some sense into them.

Namjoon sat on his table. He took out a pen and a paper. Then, he started to write.

This song was different. He didn’t need to think hard about the rhythm and the lyrics. It was all coming naturally to him. He wrote and wrote until it was done. He was satisfied with the result. The song had everything he wanted to say to Leah. It was a perfect apology.

“If only we could ever sing to her.” Namjoon whispered to himself.

*************************************************

Jungkook hadn’t gone to school for the past two months. Jin had called his teachers to let them know that Jungkook was having a really hard time since the accident. They understood. Or at least that was what they said.

Jungkook spent most of his time on his room. He wouldn’t even come out to eat. Either of his hyungs would bring him whatever was necessary. Without necessity, he wouldn’t even talk to them.

Jungkook felt anger within himself. Some parts of it was directed toward himself. But there was another part of him who had been blaming the other boys.

He remembered the first day Leah had joined during their elementary years. She had been very friendly and kind towards all of them. But all she had ever received from everyone was laughter and teasing.

She had even helped Jungkook with his homework. She had defended him when the teacher had mistaken him for another naughty student in class. Jungkook had liked her a lot. He really wanted to be her friend.

He felt like it was a mistake, bringing her to meet his hyungs. They had teased her and laughed at her that day. Jungkook was being a coward. He couldn’t defend his friend the way she had done him. Instead he had taken his hyungs’ side and bullied her along with them.

Jungkook was angry with himself and the boys.

*************************************************

Jin had been taking care of the boys. Whether they were aware about it or not, he didn’t care. He had been doing it since the very beginning. Being the oldest, he felt like that was his fate.

He had taken Jungkook to school every day when all of them had moved on to the high school. Jungkook was the only one left in the elementary school. He had been cooking for every one with Yoongi’s help. He had never shown his struggle. He had been strong for his boys.

Even now, during this difficult time, he had kept his pain within himself. He was still trying to show his positive side so that the boys would not break down. He was doing everything he was capable of.

He remembered why the bullying had begun in the first place. Jungkook had told them about his new friend in school. He was very excited for them to meet her. But that scared Jin.

Leah, being a black girl, was being bullied by everyone. Jin feared that they would start bullying Jungkook too, once he became friend with her. Jin felt like he had to protect the youngest. It was him who gave the idea of teasing her for fun. The boys had agreed since he was the oldest. What could he do anyway? After all, he was only 14 years old back then.

But now, Jin felt the opposite. He felt like he had lead the boys into doing something terrible. He felt like he was to blame for everything they were going through. He felt like Leah would never forgive him.

< Previous || Next >

My Masterlist

[julemmaes]

ahem... cassian taking nesta to that bookstore (fluff, don’t try making shit sad aight?)

Our First Non-Date

SURPRISE I GUESS!!

Nessian Archeron x Cassian

You can find the first part here.

A/N: this month has been really nice on me. I finally feel better, not crying every day for literally nothing and I wanna dedicate this to my fren Sim (@perseusannabeth) cause homegirl just finished the offcampus series and she's grieving. I know she is. So yep. Take some Nessian fluff

And Nina, I had to add some angsty parts, but they're not Irene Angst Level, okay?

Word count: 6,833

When Cassian had called her back the night after their outing with Amren and Varian, she'd stared at the phone for a full minute until it had stopped ringing and she could go back to reading the article on poisonous plants that Elain had sent her.

It hadn't even been five minutes before the words had been obscured from the call screen again and the name "Cassian Navarro" appeared.

When she had ignored the call for the second time as well, he had decided to change tactics.

Hi Nes, I was thinking about when you'd be free to go to the library. I need a couple of manuals because I'm building a little gazebo in Rhys and Feyre's garden and your sister is putting a lot of pressure on me, so I was wondering if you had the day off tomorrow.

Nesta was stunned at the amount of useless information he had given her, but managed to reply with a simple, Working tomorrow, day off on Wednesday. Sending you the address later.

She certainly hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to get up that day, her will to live must have been hiding somewhere under her bed and Nesta didn't know if it was directly related to their going out or just her stupid brain not being able to connect to real life.

The only other worst thing she'd been able to think of at that moment was having to explain to Cassian what was going on, so, pulled out of bed by the future embarrassment they'd feel in such a situation, she'd managed to dress, wash and style her hair so that she had a braid crowning her head.

She hadn't put too much effort into deciding what to wear, after all, it wasn't a date and Cassian had seen her many times before in far more outrageous and scruffy clothes than the comfortable black jeans and grey jumper she was wearing right now.

The silence had made her uncomfortable at first, only because Cassian seemed to be really stressed - about what, she certainly wouldn't ask - but after about ten minutes, he'd turned on the radio and popped a CD into the player and the melody of a Verve song had filled the cabin.

She'd started humming under her breath and he'd looked at her with a faint smile on his lips and his eyes sparkling. She hadn't mulled over that look too much, but she'd started eyeing him more closely and noticed the way he narrowed his eyes at every street sign and how he ran a hand over his face every time a strand of hair landed in front of his eyes.

When Cassian had to blow the hair out of his face for the millionth time, Nesta pulled a rubber band off her wrist and handed it to him abruptly.

Cassian looked surprised, but took it almost immediately, brushing her fingers. Nesta immediately withdrew her hand, feeling how warm and calloused his were.

"Thanks, my hair is killing me today," he finally spoke.

Nesta continued to look ahead, noticing that they were about to enter the highway. "Well, it wasn't very wise of you not to tie it up before you got in the car. I never drive with my hair down."

He nodded slowly, still with the band clutched between his fingers. And then, suddenly he let go of the steering wheel, "Hold that for me for a second." and Nesta's eyes went wide, launching herself at him to grab it and keep the car in their lane.

"Are you nuts?" she almost shrieked, keeping her gaze fixed on the road and feeling every nerve ending vibrate with anger.

"Relax." he said in a calm tone, shifting her hands and gently pushing her back into her seat one more time. "It wasn't even five seconds."

Nesta huffed out a laugh that lacked amusement, "You do something like that again without warning me first and I'm getting out of the car."

Cassian looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "A bit dramatic, but alright."

She sighed, shaking her head slightly and resting it on her hand propped against the window.

That awkward silence fell again and Nesta couldn't figure out what the problem was. She hadn't felt any kind of unease three days before, but after all, they'd been with friends and busy walking, not stuck in a car for two hours with no chance of walking away or splitting up.

And in that moment, the reality of their situation overwhelmed her.

She forced herself to steady her breathing, opening the window slightly so that more air could get in. She forced herself to think about all the things she would see today at the library and how beautiful and spectacular it had looked from mere pictures. She wasn't going to let her twisted mind stop her from having fun with someone who was desperately trying to be her friend.

She took a deep breath and a surprising calm enveloped her. She looked to her left to see if Cassian had noticed that temporal change in her behaviour, but it seemed to her that he was just as fidgety.

She was about to ask him if he was okay, because the knee that kept bouncing and the fingers opening and closing on the steering wheel were obvious nervous tics, when he did the eye thing again, this time leaning forward over the dashboard as well, and the sharp turn he took to the right caused her to shift in her seat so much that she bumped her shoulder against his.

Cassian grimaced, "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"What's wrong?" she asked, readjusting in her seat.

"Sorry?"

"What's the matter? With your eyes, I mean."

"Oh." he seemed surprised by the question, almost as if he hadn't realised she'd been observing him for the last twenty minutes. He cast her a curious glance immediately returning to the road. "I wear glasses when I drive, but I couldn't find them this morning and these contacts are the wrong shade and I can't see very well."

Nesta nodded thoughtfully, "Where do you normally keep them?"

"In the glove box. But I already checked," he replied, rolling his shoulders. Another nervous tic.

Nesta had to suppress a smile. There was no way he could be so worked up just because they were talking. She looked down at the phone in her hand to check the time, and a flash of light momentarily dazzled her. She blinked a couple of times and then scoffed, "Found them."

She reached a hand towards the hatch compartment and pulled out a pair of very plain black glasses, handing them to him. Cassian seemed to finally relax since she'd gotten into the car.

"Thank fuck." then he pulled into a lay-by and without turning off the car, slipped two fingers in his eye, removing one contact and then the other, leaving Nesta stunned. He put the glasses on his nose and flashed her a smile that went from ear to ear. And Nesta was stunned for other reasons.

She couldn't deny that Cassian was an attractive man. She wasn't stupid or blind, but the man next to her should have come with a warning sign or a bell.

Attention, hot stuff coming your way.

Nesta forgot the comment she had wanted to make about how antigenic and risky it had been to remove his contacts without first cleaning his hands and in such a dirty environment.

His hair tied back in a messy bun, with the hint of a beard he was letting grow, and now his glasses on, Cassian looked like a model on the cover of a newspaper about sexy carpenters. The short-sleeved black shirt he wore that pulled on his huge biceps every time he moved in the slightest was just one more point to add to the list of things that made him appealing.

"So," he began, getting back on the road, "what's your favourite colour?"

Nesta snorted, "Are you serious?"

Cassian seemed to blanch, "What?"

"Have you ever been out with a girl?" she asked him sarcastically, knowing full well what the answer would be.

He clenched his jaw so hard that a muscle popped out on his face, "Only on dates."

"And this isn't a date." pointed out Nesta, holding back a laugh at how tortured he sounded.

"It's not."

Nesta touched the tip of her nose, thoughtful, "Shouldn't this be easier for you then?"

Cassian released a breath through his nose, "I'm under a lot of pressure right now."

"Yeah?" she asked, looking away and smiling.

"Yeah, and stop looking like you're enjoying it." he retorted.

She feigned innocence, "Enjoying what?"

"My pain." he sheeted.

Nesta laughed, unable to contain herself any longer and when he glared at her, she covered her mouth with one hand, laughing harder. Only when he snapped his fingers against the steering wheel did she stop, laying a hand on his arm, just for a few seconds, "I'm so sorry." she wheezed, "I just don't understand. When you're hanging out with my sisters or Amren, or Mor, I don't know, you don't seem to be in this much discomfort."

Cassian sighed again and Nesta chuckled one last time, stopping when he smiled slightly. "I'm just trying not to make you uncomfortable. You accepted I take you on this non-date, and I'm doing my best not to flirt badly with you every chance I get." he confessed, nodding slowly, as if to convince himself that he was doing the right thing and not wasting their time.

Nesta was genuinely surprised at his answer and decided to offer him an olive branch.

"My favourite colour is blue."

"Nice." he smiled, showing a hint of a dimple, "Mine is red."

"It's too bright of a colour," she said lightheartedly.

Cassian chuckled, "I'm pretty sure it reflects my peppy personality."

Nesta nodded, "I read an article once about how a person's favourite colour says a lot about the person themselves," she said annoyed, "It sounded like one of those quizzes you find in gossip magazines, like it was written by a third grader. I hate those things, like horoscopes."

He grunted, "God, Mor's obsessed with horoscopes..."

The conversation continued without any more awkward silences for the remainder of the ride, and when Cassian turned onto a bumpy road, Nesta knew they were close. Of course, even if she hadn't looked at the directions from her house to the place, the myriad cars parked along the road would have been an indication.

They parked in the first vacant spot they could find and as soon as Nesta was out of the car, an icy gust of wind hit her face, making her shiver with cold. She looked over the bonnet at Cassian and found him staring at her with a half smile on his face. He'd left his glasses in the car and had let his hair down again, her hair band on his wrist, and he looked even prettier than before.

"Do you want my jacket?" he asked her, with a conflicted look on his face, as if he didn't want to. Nesta narrowed her brows and he hurried to add, "There's no hidden agenda to my offer, just a friend lending a jacket to another friend."

Nesta watched him for a moment, trying to really understand his intentions, but then remembered reading in one of the reviews that the library was heated inside and shook her head.

Cassian gave a small nod of assent and then pointed down the street, "Shall we?"

From where they had parked to the library it would have been about a ten minute walk and Nesta couldn't help but notice the way Cassian kept his distance between them as if he was afraid she would get scared and run away.

He was back to fidgeting nervously with his fingers and when he realised she was looking at him, he put them in his pockets, smiling tensely at her. He took a deep breath and then said, "So, what do you know about this library?"

Nesta looked ahead, hoping to catch a glimpse of the building, but the foliage of the trees was still too thick and they were still too far away for it to see anything. She brought her hands to her stomach, crossing her fingers, "I actually did a bit of research before I came. Did you know that the Peace Treaty between Prythian and Hybern of 1864 was signed here?" she asked in an excited voice.

Cassian smiled at her so naturally that she felt herself blush. He had an expression she couldn't decipher, but Nesta had never been good at cracking people in general, so she didn't venture to continue until he said, "Tell me more."

And Nesta launched into a detailed description of the events that had taken place inside the building, which only a hundred years before had become a bookstore. Only one wing of the building had been furnished in such a way as to become a real shop, the rest had been set up to be visited as a museum, one of the oldest libraries. She talked about the architecture and how it was obvious that the palace had been built long before it became an important meeting place for scholars and researchers.

"And in 1932 a fire destroyed the science wing, burning more than a hundred textbooks." Nesta sighed, thinking how devastating that loss had been. She lit up with happiness when she remembered what happened next. "But luckily, one of the most important literary clubs in the city got together and they managed to recover a small portion of the books. It took them years to rewrite every manual, but they got help from one of the local researchers, a certain Mr. Hawthorn, I can't remember the name or details of the research, only that he's mentioned often in the article I read."

When she paused to catch her breath, Nesta realised with immense horror what had just happened. Cassian had not spoken a word after asking her if she knew anything about the place and she had monopolised the conversation without even acknowledging him once. She felt herself flare up and knew in that moment that any hope they had of becoming real friends was gone.

Sometimes she would get lost in thought and ramble on about the things she was passionate about. Quite often people had stopped her, letting her know they weren't interested in the subject, but Cassian had never interrupted her and she was afraid to look at him, convinced she would only find boredom and disgust on his face.

That was why, when he spoke, she was struck dumb.

"I'm impressed." he breathed, chuckling immediately afterwards.

Nesta pushed herself to look at him and he stood admiring her with his mouth slightly open, as if he couldn't find the words. She felt her heart clench in her chest so tightly that she didn't know if she could survive the pain. Who knows how many times he'd tried to stop her and she'd gone on and on about windows and arches and treaties of peace.

But when she got a better look at him, stopping in front of him, Cassian looked... happy.

He let out a laugh, running a hand through his hair, and Nesta was distracted for a moment by the sway of his arms before she was brought violently back down to earth when he said, "You surprise me more and more every time, Nesta."

And the way he said her name - Ne-sta - made her toes curl.

"Why?" she managed to throw out in a weak voice.

Cassian laughed again, raising his eyebrows so high they ended under the hair on his forehead, locking his eyes to hers. "I have a degree in history and my final thesis happened to be on this very library." Nesta felt the ground open up beneath her feet and hoped it swallowed her alive. "I came out of university with top marks and various accolades for finishing my studies on time and you, dreadful creature that you are, have just taught me at least three new things about this place."

His gaze was so intense that Nesta had to lower her head to hide the satisfied and surprised smirk that popped up on her lips.

"You're amazing." huffed Cassian, "Perfect in every way."

She shrugged.

"Although," he clicked his tongue against his palate, "You made a mistake."

Nesta looked up at him, frowning, "Oh, yeah?"

Cassian nodded, smirking fiercely, "Why don't you turn around and admire the palace, and once we're inside, I'll explain what it is?"

She must have been so lost in her chatter that she hadn't noticed that they had arrived in the large entrance forecourt, because when she turned, her back to Cassian, the building stood among the forest trees, as imposing and splendid as ever. The photos had not done it justice in the slightest and Nesta was left speechless.

Living in a country with a history going back millennia, it wasn't hard to stumble upon historic streets with old buildings and monuments, but this was completely different.

She was still admiring the way the stone around the windows had been carved to look like trees trying to get into the building when she felt something settle on the small of her back. A hand.

Nesta stiffened slightly, before closing her eyes and relaxing.

Cassian must have noticed her discomfort because a moment later his hand was no longer touching her.

They entered the museum part of the building in silence and Nesta paid the entrance fees, reminding him of the tea he'd offered her last Sunday and Cassian hadn't been able to argue with that.

They had just passed the doors to the first room, the smallest in the entire palace, when he leaned towards her, to the point of touching her ear with his lips.

The fact that he was whispering as if they had been in a sacred place did things to her little icy heart, "Mr. Hawthorn was not a man."

Shocked by that information, Nesta's head snapped in his direction and she realised too late that she had miscalculated the space.

Her lips brushed against his cheek, the corner of his lips, before Cassian reacted so quickly he startled her, but avoiding them both an involuntary first kiss. His sudden movement caused him to lose his balance and he reached out his hands towards her, straightening as he held on to her shoulders.

Both of them were holding their breath.

Cassian cleared his throat, shifting his gaze to the wall of books, but returning to look at her soon after, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, you just surprised me," she said when she had recovered. "I must have read the article wrong."

He was still watching her and shook his head, "Oh no, I don't think it's that. They only found out a few months ago that it was Georgina and not George Hawthorn. They found letters in the house of what was thought to be Hawthorn's wife. Some people think they were just friends, but anyone who has read the letters they exchanged knows full well that they were lovers. Anyone who says otherwise is either homophobic or stupid."

Nesta realised that she could have listened to this for hours on end. And so it was.

The visit continued relatively quietly, Cassian explaining every detail to her, expanding on things she already knew and when he forgot something, she would step in and have her say, commenting on every little aspect.

She'd noticed how Cassian hadn't tried to touch her anymore and how whenever someone was about to bump into her, he'd vocally warn her instead of wrapping an arm around her shoulders to move her out of their way like he had on Sunday.

The visit to the museum lasted less than expected unfortunately, because Nesta hadn't had this much fun in too long. It was becoming easier to smile at him or tease him when he said dumb things and even he seemed to finally be more at ease when he had to make jokes that smacked of him.

When they finally got to the shop, Nesta couldn't stand on her feet anymore, she just wanted to buy all the books she saw and go home and arrange them on her shelves.

"Which section do you want to see first?" she asked him, even though she had started hopping impatiently about the place.

Cassian gave her a smug look, "Why don't you go wherever you want and I'll look for the manuals for the gazebo in the meantime? That way you don't waste time keeping up with me. I'll be right there."

Nesta let out an excited squeal and ran off, hearing only the echo of laughter that shook Cassian from head to toe.

***

As Cassian flipped through the various books to find a picture of a gazebo that looked similar to the one Feyre had requested, he kept casting glances at Nesta.

Her eyes sparkled as she grabbed book after book without even reading the synopses. She was in the romance novels section, from what he could see from where he stood, but soon ended up in the classics, where she grabbed just as many books. She moved to the mystery books section, this time stopping to read the plots and putting most of them back on the shelves.

Then, surprising Cassian, she walked over to where the historical novels were and turned to face him. He bent his head to the side, raising an eyebrow to ask her what she was doing there. Nesta seemed at a loss, trying to move all the books from one arm to the other to point him to join her, but Cassian was already halfway there and when she looked back up at him and found him standing in front of her, she gave him a bright smile.

"Hello." she exclaimed.

Cassian's breath caught for a second before he too sighed a greeting.

"I was thinking," Nesta began, running her eyes over the titles in front of them, "that you could recommend something about..." she wiggled her fingers as much as she could, trying to point to the shelf, and Cassian leaned forward, cursing himself for not thinking of it sooner.

"Here," he removed the first stack of books from her arms and she sagged a little, giving him a thankful look. "I can go get a bag so you can put them all in there and you don't have to carry them like this," he said taking all the books and having her help him arrange them so they wouldn't fall out.

He smiled at her over all the books, looking down at her and she smiled back just as happily.

Hell, if she looked at him like that every time he took her to a bookstore he should do it more often.

He had just turned to go towards the entrance, where he had seen special bags for carrying books, but Nesta stopped him by putting a hand on his arm.

"Wait!" she exclaimed almost impishly.

Cassian turned his head, genuinely worried that something had happened to her in the mere seconds he had been shot. He must have moved too fast, because one of the smaller classics flew off the top of the stack and landed right in her face.

Nesta groaned at the impact and brought her hands to her face, rubbing her forehead where it hurt.

"Oh my God, are you okay?!" he asked with wide eyes. And then Nesta laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she stared at him and he visibly relaxed. "Christ, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw a book at you."

She waved a hand in mid-air, to let him know it was nothing, and bent down to pick up what he realised was A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Of course Nesta was reading feminist classics.

She turned back to the books as if nothing had happened and Cassian had the urge to look for a list of all the bookstores in the world to take her to if it meant having her in such a good mood by his side, it didn't matter if she would never agree to go on a real date with him, he realised. As long as he could see her smile like that, he didn't need anything else.

"So, I was saying, before you battered me with a book-" she cast an amused glance over one shoulder at him.

He frowned, muttering, "I said sorry."

Nesta ignored him, "What do you recommend?"

Cassian blinked.

"You said you read historical novels right?" she asked, looking for confirmation, "You could recommend your favourites. But not the English or Russian classics. Or French ones. Chances are I've already read those."

Cassian was stunned. Nesta wanted advice on books. From him.

They were silent for too long as she turned around impatiently, "You lied?"

He looked surprised, "When?"

"When you said you were reading. Were you just doing it to impress me or were you serious?" she asked and maybe Cassian imagined it, but she looked disappointed.

He was quick to reply, "The Black Coat, by Neamat Imam. It's pretty recent, but set in the 1970s in Bangladesh. It's about a man who needs help and seeks it from a journalist he asks for work and one of the main themes is the famine that hit the country after it became independent. It's not my absolute favourite, but it certainly gives you something to think about."

Nesta nodded, searching through the titles and finding it almost immediately, "Anything else?"

Cassian felt his neck heat up and coughed a little before resuming speaking. "The Long Ships by Frans G. Bengtsson. Set in the tenth century, it's about a Viking who is called Red because of his hair and focuses on the European political outlook in the late Viking Age. Again, it's not as good as the historical classics, but it's nice and shows a way of life that we're definitely not used to. It's different."

After looking for a few minutes, Nesta gave up reading and turned to him, crossing her arms. She tilted her head to the side, watching him closely, "What's your favourite book?"

Cassian shrugged, settling the books against his chest, "I think at the moment it's The King Must Die by Mary Renault. But I change my mind every month when I find something more interesting or captivating."

She nodded thoughtfully, "I'll take that one then."

And Cassian wished he could change the title immediately because... what if she didn't like it? Or if she thought it was a stupid book? What would she think of him then?

But Nesta had already found a copy a few shelves down and there was no turning back.

He could counterattack, though, "What about yours? You're not going to give me any advice on feminist classics or blatantly trashy romance novels?"

Nesta opened her mouth wide, looking outraged as she placed the latest addition on the pile, settling the book under her chin, "How can you say they're trashy if you don't even know what they're about?"

Cassian chuckled, "On the cover of You Came," he said as he gave her a sly look, "there's something called a 'spicymeter'. How am I supposed to take you seriously?"

Nesta blushed, "I read erotic novels, so what? I have to keep myself busy in my spare time somehow."

And then he challenged her, "Get me the hottest book you've ever read," he said in a joking tone, "I'll go get the bag in the meantime."

She had already left for the section when he had an idea that would surely doom him depending on how Nesta would react.

He walked up to the cashier's desk, making sure she didn't notice, and begging the clerk behind the counter to be quick, paid for all her books, gently placing them back in the bags.

When he reached her again, she seemed not to have noticed anything.

"'So, what did you get me? Ride Me? Fucked You Good? Last Night I Gave You A Thousand Orgasms?" he teased her with an annoyed grin on his lips.

Nesta gave him a fiery glance before noticing the bags, quite different from those you put the things you wanna buy in, and closed her mouth tightly. She frowned and looked at them for so long before speaking that Cassian began to feel self-conscious.

"You paid for my books?" she whispered, looking at him.

He nodded.

"It's not a date, Cassian," she reminded him for the umpteenth time.

"I know, but-"

"So why would you pay for things that are mine?"

He couldn't read her. She wasn't hinting at anything.

She didn't look angry but she didn't look impressed or grateful either.

Cassian placed the bags on the ground between them and Nesta followed his every movement with her eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing, "My adoptive family is filthy rich. I have a trust fund that I never get to spend on things I really want to do, the only way I get to use it is by giving gifts to my friends, so just accept these as my first gift - friend to friend - and call it a day."

Nesta continued to be impassive as she kept her eyes fixed on the books.

Perhaps he had gone too far. After all, she had taken more than a hundred and fifty euros worth of stuff, but he really didn't mind.

He was about to apologise, tell her she could give the money back if it made her feel better. Cassian would find a way to spend it back on her at other times anyway.

Then she raised her head, handing him two books with hilarious covers to say the least, "These two have storylines full of plot twists. You won't be able to put them down, but don't expect big epic battles or Viking warriors. It's just two college kids trying to survive in the modern world while finding solace in each other."

He didn't even have time to thank her that she was already across the room and waiting in line so she could pay them.

He scoffed, shaking his head.

"I guess you'll be paying for these two," he said as he caught up with her.

Nesta didn't even look at him, pulling out her wallet, "A gift from a friend to a friend."

As they walked back to the car, Cassian offered to carry the bags, but she didn't want to hear one more word so they had managed to compromise and had split the load equally.

They'd been on the road for about thirty minutes now and Nesta had gone through every book he'd bought her, talking about all the previous works by the authors she was holding in her hand at the moment.

Cassian could have died like that. Happy, relaxed, listening to the plots of those dirty books with no moral lessons to teach the reader, just pure entertainment.

He wondered at that moment if he would make it through the first few chapters of the books she had offered him and let out a heavy breath through his nose as he turned right towards the coast.

Nesta looked at him wide-eyed, stopping her rant about the headmaster's son getting the occasional model student to fall in love with him. She brought a hand to her mouth, "Oh dear, sorry, I'm boring you. I'm sorry."

He gave her a confused look ready to tell her she didn't have to apologise, but she continued.

"Sometimes I do and I don't even realize it. And I realize they're not challenging plots where you have to apply some hidden lobe of the brain to understand them, but they distract me from everyday problems, you know? It's fun to be able to unplug a few hours after I get home from work and-"

"Jesus, Nesta, stop!" he laughed, placing a hand on her thigh. She sighed. "You don't have to apologise. Not when you're so excited about something." he looked at her slyly, offering her a reassuring smile, "In fact, I'm glad you're talking so much today. Normally I have to pull the words out of your mouth."

She blushed slightly and then grew sullen soon after, sitting up straighter, "This isn't the way to Velaris, where are we going?"

Cassian didn't answer.

"You're taking me into the woods aren't you?"

"We literally just came out of a forest."

She ignored him.

"I knew it. You're a serial killer."

"Nes-"

"You're a little dense though. Why would you spend so much on someone if you're going to murder them?"

He decided to ignore her, chuckling, "I'm taking you to the beach."

"Why?" she asked, somewhat unconvinced.

Cassian shrugged, "I wanted to see the sunset."

"You didn't ask."

He sighed, gripping the steering wheel, "Okay," he whispered, then louder, "You want to go to the beach and watch the sunset?"

She nodded in assent and then continued to read the plots aloud.

And Cassian could have sworn he was in heaven.

***

Nesta gathered more sand, making a small ball out of it and placing it on the top of one of the towers she had made so far.

"Where did you learn to make such good sandcastles?" asked Cassian suddenly from behind her, startling her.

She jumped in the air, turning to face him and noticing the satisfied smile on his face for having taken her by surprise.

Nesta didn't answer him immediately, but allowed herself to admire him a bit.

Since they had arrived at the beach, they had taken off their shoes and were now both barefoot and then Cassian had bent down and started to roll his trousers around his ankles, offering to do it to her jeans as well, but Nesta had refused. She had sat down, looking at the sea for a while, while he walked along the shore and collected stones and shells.

When he had come back to her and shown them to her, asking her to make a sandcastle, she had laughed at first, but faced with his serious expression, she had been unable to do anything but get up and roll up her sleeves, moving to where the sand was a little more workable.

She looked away from that heavenly vision and made another ball, placing it next to the one she had just made. "When I was little my mum never let me do these, she said I'd get too much sun and forced me and Elain to stay under the umbrella all day," she replied truthfully, remembering the cruel bite of jealousy watching the children on the shore.

"And Feyre?"

Cassian had joined her, kneeling beside her and had begun to place the shells so that they served as windows to the towers.

Nesta sighed, "Feyre was still too little when Mini Me wanted to build sandcastles, but as soon as I became 'too old to play like a kid'," she gave him a knowing look, mimicking her mother's voice, "and Feyre started to figure out she was an actual being, Mama let her do whatever she wanted. Even stand in the sun for hours on end." she shrugged. "Whether it was out of indifference or love, I never understood."

Cassian had been silent the whole time and now he watched her, hands on his thighs as he waited for her to give him more. For her to tell him another little piece of her soul.

So she offered him a forced smile, "So to answer your question, it's all pent-up creativity."

"Well, you're very good at it," he granted her. "I can imagine what you could have done if your mother hadn't been so strict."

Well, yeah.

"What about you?" she asked him.

"What about me?"

"Did you go to the beach a lot?"

Cassian smiled weakly, getting up and heading towards the water to collect more shells. He nodded a couple of times and then said, "My mum and I loved coming to the beach and she loved making castles. And she always put so many 'windows' on the towers-"

Nesta turned to look at their work, realising how many shells he had placed on the piles of sand. She smiled softly, covering her eyes from the sun and watching him walk towards her.

"We always came when she was free from work."

A charged silence settled between them until Cassian chuckled, drawing her attention, "What?"

"You said this wasn't a date. And that we're just friends. Right?"

Shifting her gaze to him, she noticed how he kept his hands hidden behind his back and the mischievous glint in his eyes didn't reassure her at all. Slowly she stood up, nodding.

"So, I must treat you as I would treat my friends. Correct?"

"Cassian, I swear to god that-"

She didn't have time to finish her sentence that something wet and sticky landed in her face with a resounding splash, making her jump back.

She took a deep breath and immediately regretted it when a strong smell of stale water and seaweed flooded her nostrils.

When she opened her eyes again, wiping the seaweed from her face, Cassian was doubled over in laughter.

She didn't even give him time to get up when she started to run towards him - to do what, she had no idea - but he started to run away too and soon they were chasing each other all around the beach, not noticing the sweet looks they were getting from the people around them.

At that moment, Nesta was running so fast that she could feel the wind in her hair and the smell and sound of the sea, together with the laughter of the man who was chasing her, mixed with her own and the continuous tapping of her feet on the sand, made her feel alive.

She felt Cassian come closer every few metres until two strong arms wrapped around her waist and she was pulled up and spun around in the air.

A surprised yelp escaped her as Cassian laughed in her ear, "Gotcha!"

It wasn't until he stopped spinning with her in his arms that they realised the position they were in and immediately broke away, laughing embarrassed.

Nesta turned to face him, her face red from running and her breathing laboured. He was in no better condition. His hair was pointing in all directions and his sculpted chest was rising and falling with haste under the black fabric of his shirt.

He looked away first, scratching the back of his neck and fixing his eyes on the sunset, and offered her his arm as they returned to where they had left theirs things unattended.

Nesta shook her head, laughing one last time and started to run, " Last to reach the castle is stupid!"

Cassian burst out laughing, but he caught up to her in the blink of an eye and they both knew that she had doomed herself to lose. That's why, when he fell tripping over his feet, Nesta knew he had done it on purpose.

She helped him up and they sat back as in silence they watched the sun go down, disappearing past the horizon and the blending lights of the sky created a breathtaking spectacle.

Nesta couldn't have noticed, too busy admiring the clouds, but Cassian had been watching her the whole time, trying to understand how something as sombre and secretive as her could look so bright just by being.

The journey back was silent, but this time the silence was not awkward. They both welcomed it with open arms, a new awareness that there was no need for it to be filled with chatter and that gave Nesta the opportunity to close her eyes for a moment and doze off.

When the car stopped outside her flat, Nesta was surprised to find that she didn't want to get out.

She turned to Cassian after she had gathered her things and nodded, "I had fun today."

He gave her a genuine smile, looking surprised, "Me too."

And then she permanently shocked him, adding, "I'm not working on Saturday, we could do it again. Changing location."

He blinked once. Twice. Then he nodded, "Sure."

He didn't seem to want to say anything more, so Nesta waved goodbye to him and then got out, not waiting for an answer from him.

Cassian stood motionless in the car park of her flat for another half hour, trying to figure out what had just happened, and when the reality of things finally dawned on him, he smiled, "Fuck yeah."

acotar tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send me an ask)

@sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien-of-nargothrond @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @hellasblessed @nahthanks @archeron-queens-blog @sleeping-and-books @bri-loves-sunflowers @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @queenestarcheron @oop-theregoesgravity @firebirdofscythia @anne-reads @fantastypenguins @laylaameer01 @thalia-2-rose @darkshadowqueensrule @bookstantrash @lanyjoy-13 @the-regal-warrior @lordof-bloodshed @dealingdifferentdevils @swankii-art-teacher @rowaelinismyotp

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Out Of The Shadows - Part 14

Summary: Singing was the only thing that kept you breathing. To Kihyun, you were too talented to step away from. And by a cruel twist of fate, because of him, you became a singer - except you only sang in the shadows.

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x female reader

Genre: idol au / angst / drama / romance

Warnings: Y/N has a serious injury, and ongoing implications from it that might trigger some people. In this part: jealousy, cursing, an argument and a fair amount of emotional angst.

Word count: 2292

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Final

“You’re back later than I expected.”

Glancing at the girl on the couch, you nodded softly. Normally, it had been the other way around. When your career had started, Nina was out doing long hours of work, both in the practice rooms and on location. You had eventually stopped going to every schedule with her, Terry even encouraging you to leave her to it.

You had your role in this duet, and it consisted of singing and making sure you didn’t mess up behind the curtain, so Nina remained the star.

But lately, your schedules had switched around. You spent more time in the studio for vocal lessons and recording new songs, whilst Nina’s appearances grew limited with the downtime of no promotions. Your name had been called upon more often to sing several OSTs and even the new opening song of a variety show.

It was a little overwhelming to be highly sought after.

“I had to do an extra hour in the studio tonight,” you admitted, heading for the refrigerator where you stored your honey water. Your throat felt a little dry from how many high notes you had to sing.

“Tomorrow too, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s never-ending.”

“I don’t think you’re complaining,” Nina announced, and you glanced over at her as you took a slow gulp of water. Her expression was unreadable for a change.

It bothered you a little.

“No, I guess I’m not. But are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I was just asking,” you cautiously answered, placing the lid back on your water. “I’m uh, going to take a shower.”

Nina didn’t respond as you scuttled off to your bedroom and shut the door behind you. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you went over the interaction with her. Normally, Nina was bright and cheerful to be around. She thrived on all the work she was doing, and every time she was up on stage or invited on a show, she was always bouncing around with infectious energy. Even with Midnight Idol two weeks ago, she had enjoyed the experience in the end. And no one had been none the wiser, thanks to Kihyun’s effort to bridge the gap between them.

“I hope she’s alright,” you murmured to yourself, trying not to go to the worst-case scenarios that Nina might be facing and not tell you about.

You convinced yourself that she was just tired and went to have your shower.

Except, the mood continued. Days went by, and Nina’s smiles stopped shining altogether. You had racked your brain for every possible reason and asked her multiple times about what was wrong. Not only did Nina cut you off every time, but she was also curt whenever talking to you.

“I used the last of the bread,” she announced after you had spent over five minutes looking on the counter and in the cupboards for the loaf you had bought. Looking back at Nina, you were surprised when she met your gaze defiantly.

It made no sense, and you swallowed slowly. “That’s okay. I’ll just pick up a new one.”

“Or I could. Since I’m only at the company for half a day.”

“If it’s not too much of a hassle,” you agreed, still frowning as you put away the condiments you had pulled out for your toast.

“Of course it wouldn’t be. I’m not busy, like you.”

“Have I been slacking on something around the house because of my increase in work?” you wondered, blinking several times as you tried to figure it out.

“No. You’re not home enough to leave a mess.”

“Right. But if I were—”

“Melody’s here,” Nina flatly announced, getting up from the barstool and went to let your manager in.

On the car ride to Starship, you continued to watch Nina in the seat beside you, your worry overriding your awareness of your surroundings. You were so deep in thought as you trailed behind Nina and Melody that you didn’t even see the person you walked into until they were righting you both.

“Easy there – oh!”

You blinked back into focus and matched Sewoon’s grin. “Hello!”

“If it isn’t the angel’s voice I’ve come to know and love. How are you doing, Y/N?”

You managed to swallow back the giddy squeal that rose in your throat at the idol remembering who you were, let alone complimenting you. Grinning over at Nina, who had stopped to look at the sudden outburst of voices, you gestured for her to come back to you.

“Sewoon, this is Nina. Nina is—”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sewoon said quickly, nodding once in Nina’s direction before smiling back at you. “Y/N, when do you have a free moment? I want to work on a duet with you.”

“Uh, I doubt that would be feasible,” you edged, glancing back at Nina. You swore you saw her face fall at Sewoon’s easy dismissal, and a sense of loyalty to her had you stepping around him. “But if you’re ever in the studio and want to bounce ideas, I’m happy to help when I’m free.”

“I’ll hold you to it. I need another White moment!” he called after you as you started down the corridor again.

“How many others are there?” Nina asked as you both rounded the corner into your department. You hummed curiously at her, and Nina sighed. “You know. The people you’ve got – never mind.”

“The people I’ve got what? Oh, like Sewoon? The reason I was recruited here was because I covered his song one time in Kihyun’s studio. Wait. You know that. Anyway, I met him the day I signed the contract, and so he knows who I am that way.”

Nina merely stared for a moment and then brushed past you silently into her studio space. You went to follow her in, but Melody shut the door with a quick, “You’re needed in the recording studio, Y/N.”

Letting it go again, you slumped off to where you were required to be.

Another week of struggling to connect with Nina had passed. You were beyond exasperated by it, and even after confessing to Kihyun how things were, you couldn’t decipher what was going on.

Furthermore, you were exhausted.

Stepping through the front door of your apartment, you didn’t bother to call out for Nina upon arrival, knowing she had stopped waiting up for you to get home days ago. Not only that, she didn’t respond to anything you had to say about your day whenever you tried. You didn’t like being so defeated, but you weren’t the confrontational type. For others, you would fight in their stead in the past, but for yourself, you’d much rather pretend you didn’t see the problem unless you knew how to fix it.

And clearly, you were at a complete loss right now.

Surprisingly, Nina was on the couch instead of holed up in her room when you stepped up into the living space. You attempted to smile at her and sighed when it wasn’t returned. “Hi,” you said, all the same, heading towards your bedroom door to strip off your layers.

When you were home, you took off as much clothing as you could to help your skin out. And considering how busy you had been lately, and with the stress of whatever was wrong with Nina, your body was giving you hell.

Again.

Stopping in the doorway when you saw her laptop’s screen, you frowned. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing. Is that a forum? Oh Nina, please tell me you’re not monitoring comments about you.”

“You mean, you,” she replied flatly, and you cocked your head to the side in confusion. Nina laughed. “You always act like this.”

“Like what.”

“Oblivious.”

“How am I oblivious? Aside from whatever is eating at you, because even after all the silent treatment or bratty remarks, I cannot figure what the hell is wrong with you.”

“It’s you! You’re the problem!” she announced breathily, and you jolted back into the doorframe, wincing as if she had hit you in the process.

“What have I done?” you whispered, trying not to let your rising emotions run freely down your face. “I’m sorry if I’ve-”

“Do you know how hard it is to be around you? To see how everyone fawns over you?”

You balked at her statement. “What? Who the hell fawns over me?”

“Everyone does! It’s all ‘Y/N is so talented’ or ‘I cannot believe that was only one take to get’! People are always telling you how wonderful you are. How your voice is a miracle.”

You choked back a sob. “My voice is all I have to give.”

Nina was undeterred, clearly ready to unleash all that she had been withholding. “Or let’s talk about how all of Monsta X protect you like you’re too fragile to do anything?! Don’t act like they don’t. They swoop in whenever there seems to be an issue. Sure, Kihyun makes sense since you’re fucking him, but the others? Do you even see the way Changkyun looks at you? It’s as if he’s taken it on personally to protect you from all things nasty in this world.”

You were so stunned. You didn’t know what to say first or even refute her bitter claims over Kihyun.

“And what about how Sewoon disregarded my existence the other day?! He didn’t even care that I, the person who thousands of people associate as Starlet, was standing there!”

“So, this is what it’s about? Because Sewoon didn’t—”

“I’VE DONE NOTHING FOR WEEKS!” Nina erupted, panting afterwards.

You didn’t dare say anything, especially as the tears that ran down your face started to stream down hers.

“I worked my butt off to get our name out there. All the variety shows, all the performances. All the hours I spent practising dances for our songs. But are they even ours?! All that comes in now are requests for your voice. All the comments online are about how beautiful your singing is. Hardly anyone comments about me! And yet, all you do is just stand there!”

“Stand there?!” you echoed, feeling the coil within you snap at how insulted you felt even though you were aware of Nina’s pain. “How do you think it feels to have to stand behind a fucking wall?! To be backstage and sing to a camera monitor so I can make sure I’m in sync with you? Everyone thinks that my voice belongs to you! That no matter how good my voice is, how everyone praises it, no one will ever know that I’m not under that precious limelight that you’re so greedy for! Just once, I wanted to succeed. How can you say that I am when it’s all fake?!”

Swinging back for the doorway as you trembled from head to toe, you reached for the bag that you had left there and blindly stepped into a pair of shoes, not even turning around to face the person who had hurt you the most just now. The one you had housed and cared for. The one you had felt you had given too many sacrifices for.

“As for my friends, they’re protective of me because, in case you’ve forgotten, the company we signed up to are absolute assholes who have created this rift between us. We’re fighting over jealousy of each other that came from the shittiest of all deals that we were too stupid and went through with. And they, having experienced the wrath of Starship’s ruthlessness before, are guilty that both of us fell into this trap, Nina. I’m sorry that I knew them first and that they struggle to be close with you too. I thought that would come, especially after the dinner we had with Minhyuk, Changkyun and Kihyun. Who, by the way, isn’t fucking me. Yet!”

Storming out of the house as a veil of tears fell down your face, you made it as far as the street before you dropped to the ground and hugged your legs to your chest, fumbling for your phone.

“What’s wrong?” Kihyun’s voice was urgent as soon as you tried to speak.

“Can you come and get me, please? I can’t stay here tonight.”

“Where are you?” he asked, and you managed to give your location before the phone call ended.

You didn’t feel the time slip by. Your body was suddenly pulled up from the wall you had slumped against, warm, familiar arms gently encasing you to his chest. Kihyun held you as you sobbed on him, breathing consoling words into your hair before urging you to get into his car a moment later.

“What happened?”

“Nina and I fought,” you whispered, glancing up at Kihyun’s worried expression. “It was… I guess it was eventually going to happen. I want out, Kihyun.”

“Out of your house? Why not tell her to—”

“No, I mean, I can’t keep doing this. Being just a voice. She’s right. I’m nothing special. No one knows I’m the voice of Starlet. And it’s not fair on her to be putting in all this effort to—”

“Don’t. For the love of God, please don’t say that you’re not worthy right now to me.”

“I don’t want to sing anymore,” you whispered, meaning it too.

Kihyun cursed before pulling you into his arms again, kissing you on the forehead gently. “Don’t make decisions when you’re this upset. Come on. I’ll take you back to mine tonight.”

It’s funny how things go. Amid all the chaos within your heart and mind, the relief of Kihyun’s comfort was short-lived.

Neither of you had expected your entire embrace to be caught on film.

_________________

Part 15

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New In Town (part seven) - Kaz Brekker

Request: nope Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: after kaz outsmarts you, you're desperate for a new way to get your information. it turns out kaz has a solution to your problem Warnings:  none Word count: 2.4K A/N: the last part wow!! I had so much fun writing this, thanks to everyone who has read this series! <3 PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (all grishaverse fics): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha@story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs@daliareads@meiitanoia @itsnotquimey@sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone@aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @Janesofia7 @stairscortana @parker-natasha @illicitghosts @brick-by-brick553 @gallysonegoodlung @dropssofjupitter @earthtokace TAG LIST (New In Town): @calums-betch add yourself to my tag lists here

You couldn't believe it. You stayed up all night trying to figure out how Kaz could outsmart you. How he figured out how you got your information on his jobs.

You hadn't found the answer yet.

While you're kind of angry he figured it out, you're also impressed. It took him a while, but he did figure it out eventually.

But now you have to figure out a new way to get information.

You couldn't climb the roof again soon, obviously. No doubt Kaz would have sent Inej up there to make sure you couldn't listen in on their meetings again.

Even if you were to approach the Slat, you now have six people to be on the lookout for, instead of just Jesper and Kaz. And there was no way of telling wether or not Kaz had given your description to other Dregs as well.

You spend the rest of the day in your apartment, trying to figure out how Kaz could have figured it out. And sulking because they got away with your prize. Well, it was their prize first, so you didn't really have a reason to be upset about it.

The next day, you're walking toward the Barrel. You're wearing a coat with a large hood pulled over your head and part of your face. Even if someone did see you, there's a chance they wouldn't see your face.

But just how much does Kaz know about you? He knows your true identity, the name the Ravkans had given you, how you get your information. You'd be a fool to think he wouldn't recognise you if he saw you in the streets.

In the distance, you see the familiar crooked building appear. Your eyes are darting around the street, looking for any of the crows. When you don't see them, you slip in the alley behind the Slat.

Though you know you probably won't hear anything, you climb the building anyway.

All the way to your spot by Kaz' window. Maybe you wouldn't hear a detailed plan for a job. But you could happen to overhear something else. Maybe you could hold that information against him. Demand part of the prize.

But when half of the day has passed, you hadn't heard as much as a door opening.

Could they be away on a new job already? You had no idea just how many jobs he had in a week. After all, you only knew about the ones they talked about when they were in Kaz' rooms. There was no telling if they talked about other jobs in other places.

When you rise again, your muscles are sore and stiff. You would come back the next day, see if you could hear anything. Maybe they were out celebrating last night's success. They might be back tomorrow.

But they're not. Nor are they there to talk business the day after.

For an entire week, you hope to eavesdrop on them. No luck.

When a week has passed you find yourself on your way to the Slat again. You don't even know why. The chance you'd be able to hear something is basically nonexistent.

But there's some comfort in the routine. When you lay down on the roof, you can tell it's going to be a sunny day. There are no clouds in the air, and it's still a bit cold from the night.

You're starying to get lost in thoughts when you finally hear a sound in Kaz' room.

Footsteps. And of course his cane. You hold your breath, excited to finally hear him say something. You're surprised, when he seems to address you.

'Do you really think I'll tell you everything again?'

You carefully peer over the edge and see how Kaz pokes his head out of the window. You don't even bother to duck away. Instead, you glare at him.

'I've been eating the worst food every day because I need to save money for my fucking rent.' you say, frustratedly. 'My old job won't take me back.'

Kaz shrugs. 'Not my fault.' he says.

'Yes it is.' you say.

'No. It's not my fault that you don't get to steal from us anymore.' he says.

'Just give me a little something.' you say, almost begging him.

'I don't think I will.' says Kaz.

You groan. 'You're the worst.' you say.

'You have no idea.' says Kaz. 'Now come in so we can talk like civilised human beings.'

You glare at him again. 'Your words, not mine.' says Kaz.

His head disappears again and you hesitate. You then skilfully climb through the window. You let your eyes roam through the room.

It's clear that this is his office. There's stacks of paper everywhere, and though the room isn't that big, he's crammed a desk in there.

Kaz is sitting behind it, gesturing to a chair across from him. You look at him and slowly walk over to the chair to sit down.

He pours you a glass of kvas, then pours one for himself. You don't say anything, waiting for him to speak.

'So.' he says. 'Did you honestly think we'd have a meeting here again?'

You shrug. 'I hoped you would. Turns out I was wrong.' you say as you take a sip of your drink. 'How did you know how I got the information?'

'Inej.' says Kaz.

You chuckle softly. 'Of course. Did she see me?' you say.

Kaz nods. 'Once. She immediately told me someone was up on the roof near the window. I knew it was you. I suddenly knew that was how you kept getting the information.' he says.

'And you set a trap.' you say.

'And I set a trap.' says Kaz. 'You didn't even second guess it. Just took the bait like that. You ought to be more careful. This is still the Barrel. Everyone tricks everyone.'

'This is still the Barrel, but I'm still an outsider. I can make a few mistakes.' you say.

'Are you still an outsider?' says Kaz, finishing his drink.

You frown at him. 'Well, I'm not exactly Kerch now., if that's what you're implying.' you say.

'You don't have to be an outsider.' says Kaz. 'I've told you before, I value your skills. You would be a remarkable crow. An exceptional addition to the team.'

It sounds very tempting. Especially since you have no source of information now. Still, you should be able to survive on your own. Find and plan your own jobs. You're more than capable. But Kaz knows Ketterdam. Knows its valuables, its people, he's got eyes and ears everywhere.

But you're not a team player.

'I'll give you the same answer to the same question. I work alone.' you say.

'Fine with me.' says Kaz. 'Enjoy your cheap food.'

He gets up and walks through the door into a different room that's attached to his office. You're waiting for him to come back, but when he doesn't, you climb out of the window again.

You climb down to the street, and start walking back to your apartment. You really had to find some jobs, and fast.

After having declined Kaz' offer a second time, you doubt he'd offer it to you again. You're determined to find a job yourself.

You spend the next few weeks trying to find a job. But the more gangs won't accept you, the less jobs you find and the worse food you eat to save money, the more desperate you become.

Every day, Kaz' offer is still on your mind. You're starting to think he might have told every gang leader to not give you a job, so you'd have no choice but to accept his offer. You didn't even know if gangs had a lot of communication with each other, but you did know Kaz was more than capable of reaching out to them to stop them from employing you.

After no gang is willing to offer you a job, you try all the cafes and pubs in the city. You even try some near the university, but they'd taken one look at your clothes - not exactly student material - and sent you away.

And when your landlord approaches you and tells you that if you don't pay your rent on time she'll kick you out, you realise you really have to do something.

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

Your feet feel heavy when you walk toward the Slat. You feel like a fool. Declining Kaz' offer twice, and then going back to him when your landlord threatens to kick you out.

You don't bother to conceal your face, but you do take your weapons with you. It's still the Barrel.

Instead of climbing to the roof, you go through the front door of the crooked building. You step into a hallway, and when you look through an open door, you see something what looks like a combined dining room and kitchen.

Deciding it's a good place to start, you enter the room. There a few people there, none of which you recognise. They give you funny looks, but none of them speaks to you as they turn back to whatever they were doing.

You're standing there, unsure of what to do. Could you just walk up to Kaz' floor? Or would that be considered rude?

Right when you want to slowly turn around and walk the stairs, someone enters through a back door. You're relieved to see it's someone you recognise.

Nina walks up to you when she spots you.

'Y/N, right?' she says.

'Yes.' you say.

She smiles at you. 'You must be here looking for Kaz.' she says.

'How did you know?' you say.

Nina still smiles at you. 'He's always talking about you. He was convinced you'd accept his second offer. Is that why you're here?' she says.

'Yes, I want to talk to him, but wasn't sure if I could just walk up to his floor and knock on his door.' you say.

'Probably not.' says Nina. 'He might've made an exception for you, though. I'll take you upstairs.'

You follow Nina to the stairs.

'Why would he make an exception for me?' you ask her.

To your surprise, Nina chuckles.

'You're the only one to ever outsmart him. You've gotten his attention, and he's impressed by you.' she says.

'Really?' you say. 'But all the stories I've heard about him on the streets describe him as some indestructible, clever thief. Hard to outsmart.'

'He is hard to outsmart.' says Nina. 'Which is why he's so impressed by you. Here we are.'

You've stopped in front of a door. Nina looks at you, and with a wink, she knocks on the door.

'Come in.' says Kaz' voice.

Nina opens the door and gestures for you to follow her.

'Look who I found wandering around downstairs.' she says.

When Kaz' eyes fall on you, you can tell he's pleased to see you. He doesn't smile, but there's a hint of it in his eyes.

'Y/N.' he says. 'How's the cheap food?'

'Still horrible.' you say.

'Nina, leave us.' says Kaz.

'Give a yell when he attacks you with his cane.' says Nina, and she leaves the room and shuts the door behind you.

'I could probably guess why you're here, but I'd still like to know why Nina caught you wandering in the Slat.' says Kaz.

'Does that offer still stand?' you ask him.

'It does. he says.

'Then I accept it.' you say.

Now, he does smile. He stands and offers you a gloved hand, which you shake.

'Welcome to the Dregs.' says Kaz.

'I wasn't exactly sure if the job was still mine.' you admit.

'How so?' says Kaz, sitting back down.

'Well, I'd declined it twice. But then I got here and was told I'd impressed you.' you say.

'Did Nina tell you that?' says Kaz.

You nod. 'She said I'm the only one to outsmart you.' you say.

'Until I outsmarted you.' says Kaz.

'But I outsmarted you first.' you say with a smile.

'We'll get you a room at the Slat.' says Kaz, quickly changing the subject. 'We lost someone a few weeks back and the room's been empty every since. You can take it, it's on the second floor next to Jesper's room.'

'I'll move my stuff right away.' you say.

You get up and walk to the door. Just before opening it, you look at Kaz over your shoulder. 'Thanks.' you say. 'For the job.'

Kaz nods at you and you leave his office.

When you walk through the door and step out onto the street, you hear someone call your name.

You turn around to see Jesper and Wylan catching up with you.

'Hey!' says Jesper. 'Nina told us you accepted the job!'

'I did.' you say. 'Looks like I'll still do your jobs for you, only Kaz is aware of it now.'

Jesper places a hand over his heart. 'Already threatening us, you'll fit right in.' he says.

'Kaz gave me a room in the Slat, next to yours.' you say.

'We know.' says Wylan. 'He sent us to help you move.'

'Oh, I don't have a lot of stuff. I can manage on my own.' you say.

'Walk up and down three times by yourself, or once with our help.' says Jesper. 'And then we can invite you for your first drink at the Slat.'

'Alright then.' you say. 'You guys can help. If you let me buy the first round.'

'Agreed.' says Wylan.

With Jesper and Wylan's help, it indeed takes one trip from your old apartment to the Slat. You put your stuff in your new room, deciding to arrange everything later, and head back down.

You see Nina and Matthias have joined Jesper and Wylan, and right when you walk through the door you see Inej walking down the stairs.

Apparently, news travelled fast. They all welcome you and congratulate you on the job, telling you they can't wait to go on a job with you.

Just when you order the first round of drinks, Kaz comes downstairs as well.

He sits down next to you and grabs the glass Jesper offered him.

Kaz looks at you before raising his glass to make a toast.

'To Y/N, the newest addition to the Crows. And also the first person to outsmart me. I'm sure you're all going to make sure I will never forget that.' says Kaz.

You smile as they all raise their glass and say your name. You're glad you accepted his offer after all.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit