#and why the fuck is everything so ableist. this is a completely different complaint that comes from anxiety and adhd too

[rotationalsymmetry]

#i mean imo its blatant ableism. it makes it incredibly hostile for ppl with higher social support needs to exist online

tag by @shoforca yeah. That's part of what hurts, if this was coming from people I didn't overall like I'd just block and move on with my day, but this is coming from people who I do overall like following. And I think most people I follow are some kind of neurodivergent so it's an intracommunity thing which makes it worse.

And it's ableist on multiple levels: complaining about reading comprehension is itself ableist -- some people do have trouble with reading comprehension, when it's not a disability thing it's generally related to poverty/lack of access to education or second language issues, all of which are social justice concerns. What people actually mean by "poor reading comprehension" (I think) is people not putting in effort when their reading comprehension is fine if they do put in effort, but that's a completely different problem from not having the ability to understand written words easily which is not something people can fix by trying harder -- and it's ableist in that when people are less good at figuring out and applying social norms from context that's a disability issue, and being able to figure out when people are just complaining and shouldn't be taken literally/too seriously is a disability issue, and a lot of the what above vague complaint is about is "not everything applies to you" which I've often seen used to discount completely reasonable objections to otherizing language, especially (ironically) in the sort of mental health recovery/positivity posts that assume everyone can recover if they just make the effort, which is itself an ableist concept. Gaaahhhhh.

Anyways it would be so much better if 1. more people accepted that sometimes people fuck up because they're disabled, not because they're intentionally being jerks or not trying hard enough to be polite, and 2. talked about this stuff in a way that allowed for the possibility it is genuinely confusing for people rather than assuming malice and acting accordingly. Like, if someone is being malicious then being all snarky at them can be an effective way to get them to fuck off forever. But if someone misunderstands social media etiquette what they need is an accurate guide to social media etiquette, and "have better reading comprehension" is not remotely that. "Don't interact with people you have not already established a positive two-way relationship with" is better, but also a guideline that it's usually safe to break and which people break all the time (and in fact following that guideline is not a reliable way to avoid getting yelled at, and is not good for sharing art or political news/concepts, etc.) "Don't have adversarial interactions with people you have not established a positive two-way relationship with" is again better, but it can be very hard to predict when "hey you didn't think about x" will be well received and when it'll be taken as fighting words.

I don't really like talking about these things primarily from a name-the-oppression perspective, because that tends to bring out the fight mode in people whereas showing vulnerability is at least in some contexts (eg an established relationship with mutual positive feeling) more likely to evoke sympathy and understanding. (Usually this sort of ableism isn't a deliberate "hey I want disabled people to suffer" thing either, I think it's more likely to just be thoughtless/ignorant/unaware.) But, the name-the-oppression approach can be better for people who are hurt by the thing and need help figuring out why/validation of the suffering. And sometimes repeated exposure to "name the oppression" talk gets people trained out of defensive reactions to it, which is a very good thing.

My "favorite" (sarcasm) type of post is one that makes me feel sad/hurt but in a way where I think if I say anything about it I'll get labeled a special snowflake, told I'm being too sensitive, or told that my reading comprehension was bad and that's what the post was about so I'm demonstrating their point.

And it's frustrating, because most of this genre could actually be summed up as "hey, social media can make it really confusing when it would be appropriate/welcome to respond to someone else's post and when it isn't, this is new technology and people haven't figured out all the etiquette yet (especially in regards to anything social justice related, where the etiquette is actively in conflict with whatever you were likely taught), if you aren't sure maybe err on the side of not interacting/if you do interact and someone gets mad, chances are you did something that would be appropriate in a different context but isn't in THIS context." But instead it's all "wow people are (character flaw)".

Except not actually saying that directly, it's words that imply it's a character flaw in a mocking way, in that "of course everyone can parse this accurately and if not you are deserving of shame and ridicule forever" and...yeah.

It is unkind.

[ivyquinzel]

.

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI

[phandabbydosey]

Here I Stand ~ Chapter 7

Artist: @lost-clues ~ art here (slight gore in one picture)

Word count: 19082 (so far) - 2285 this part

Rating: R

Warnings: Graphic description of crude medical procedure (amputation), violence, blood, zombies (and all the stuff that comes with it), one or two uses of ableist slurs (send me an ask if you want to know what they are)

Summary: Zombie AU. Everyone knows that getting bitten is the end, that the only fate is death or reanimation. But Dan is different, Phil can’t just let him go and they agree to a drastic ‘surgery’ to remove Dan’s bitten leg and save his life. However, surviving the procedure is only the beginning and Dan faces numerous obstacles on the rough road to recovery in an extreme and dangerous world.

A/n: Soooo after about two years I’ve decided to try and get back into writing again. Sorry about the cliffhanger left on this fic :D

In other news, I’ve lost contact with my old beta reader so if anyone is interested in helping me out then just get in touch :D (also yeah this isn’t beta-d so if anyone spots any issues just let me know)

               Previous Chapter        Masterlist        Next Chapter

“I can’t believe she fucking sold us out,” Kyle growled, his anger just intensifying as he struggled to light the rusty camp stove they’d found in the back of their current hideout, “I told you she was no good.”

They had multiple little store rooms and safe spots in the area surrounding their original house and had just about managed to get in and secure one before night had fallen. Will had rigged up some quick traps so they should be safe even if a horde scented them out, but being away from the familiar security of the house had put them all on edge.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t continuously treated her like crap she might have stayed loyal,” Dan snapped back, already in an incredibly grumpy mood after the painful trek over. He’d had to be supported by Phil and Scott the entire way and, although they tried their best, the odd knock or scrape had been unavoidable. Not to mention he’d spent weeks just laying on the sofa so his muscles were sore from all the exertion.

“Oh so you’re saying this is my fault?” Kyle turned to glare daggers at Dan, looking as if he were contemplating walking over and giving him a good thump, “When she’s the one who colluded with Liam and the others to steal everything we’ve worked for. She’s the one-”

“That’s enough, boys!” Scott said sternly, standing over the unlit stove with his arms crossed, “It doesn’t matter whose fault this is. There’s things all of us could have done to prevent this and throwing accusations around won’t help anything. What happened, happened. We can’t change that now so the best thing we can do is focus on where we go from here.”

As sour as Dan’s mood was, he couldn’t argue with Scott and was silently grateful they had the older man in their group with them. His years as a doctor had given him a level head and a logical mind that were invaluable when tensions boiled over in the group.

“Scott’s right,” Will said, his voice coming from behind a wall of boxes at the back of the large room. They hadn’t used this storeroom for a while because their scavenging had been sufficient as of late, so he was busy doing an inventory, “We have a good amount of food in here but it won’t last forever and it’s all long life stuff so I doubt the nutrition is going to be great. We don’t need to rush into finding somewhere new, it’s safe enough here, but I don’t really like the idea of it becoming permanent. I’m sure there’s better places out there.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda spooky here,” Lily murmured, her small body curled up on one of the tatty sofas Scott had dragged out, “There’s loads of spiders too.”

“What?” Dan squeaked, his eyes wide as he pushed himself a little more upright on his sofa and looked around the room.

Just like that, the tension in the room seemed to dissolve as everyone began giggling at Dan’s reaction. He might have been deadly in a fight and a sarcastic bastard, but even after everything he’d been through in the apocalypse, he was still deathly afraid of spiders.

-----------------------------------

“C’mon Scott, I only want to go out for an hour or so and Phil will be with me the entire time,” Dan pleaded, “It’s midday and it’s clear outside, I’ll be fine.”

Dan had been begging for days at this point and he’d thought Scott might have broken by now, but the older man was remaining stubborn in his position. They’d stayed in the storehouse for just over a week until Will, Kyle and Phil managed to find a suitable new home. The new place was great, but not exactly what would be described as suitable for a disabled person. There were a lot of stairs so, even with the pair of crutches Will had managed to cobble together from metal pipes and some other scraps, Dan was pretty much stuck in the main living room.

He and Phil had shared one of the bedrooms upstairs at first, but Dan was still very weak and he’d gotten fed up with having to be carried up to bed every night so now he just slept on the sofa.

He’d thought getting the crutches would be great, but the fact he was still very limited in his movements despite them was making him feel more and more trapped in the stuffy living room. He just wanted to go outside and get some fresh air, but Scott was adamant it was too dangerous.

“No, Dan,” he said firmly, not looking up from his washing up bowl, “You’re still too weak. If something happens then Phil won’t be able to get you back inside and protect you both at the same time. Plus it’ll be an unnecessary strain on your body, you’re meant to be building up strength gradually so you don’t end up injuring yourself more. It’s three floors down and back up again, that’s too much for you right now.”

“But I-”

“Dan, I get that you want to go out, but the risks aren’t worth it. We’ll keep doing your exercises and I’m sure you’ll be strong enough soon. Now I don’t want to hear anything else about it.”

Scott’s tone left no room for arguments so Dan just flopped back down onto the sofa, letting out a slightly over dramatic groan that Scott firmly ignored. Lily saw that he was clearly upset so climbed onto the sofa beside him, cuddling up to his chest and talking to him quietly until he dozed off. He was still building back his strength and the exercises Scott put him through daily really wore him out.

Once she was sure Dan was asleep, Lily carefully climbed out from under his arm and headed to the other room where Phil was sorting through the haul from their last scavenging mission.

“How long do you think it’ll be until Dan will be able to walk around better?” She asked as she plonked down onto the floor beside Phil and started to help organise the food.

“I’m really not sure Lil,” Phil sighed. He’d noticed how disheartened Dan was becoming and it was really starting to concern him, but he didn’t know what he could do to help, “He’s strong and he’s determined, but his body really suffered from the trauma and the infection. I’m sure the stress lately didn’t help, either.”

Lily nodded then was silent for a few minutes, not really focused on organising the various packs and cans. “I think you should take him outside,” she whispered, looking up at Phil with dark eyes that were tragically wise beyond her years, “I know Scott says he shouldn’t, but I think he might go crazy or even...give up if he stays stuck in here much longer. You won’t have to take him out for long and you can get Will or Kyle to go with you so you have some protection. If you go in the middle of the day then there shouldn’t even be any zombies around anyway. I just think it might help give him some hope and remind him of why he needs to get himself better as quickly as he can.”

It was Phil’s turn to be silent now, thinking over Lily’s words. He’d always been one to take Scott’s word as law when it came to medical issues, but he’d been an A&E doctor and not a psychiatrist so perhaps he wasn’t fully considering just how bad Dan’s mental state could be getting. Phil knew that he’d suffered depression in the past and had recognised the signs that it might be creeping back in, that would be the last thing Dan needed when he was meant to be focusing on his recovery.

“Scott and Kyle are going out soon to get some more things from the museum group for Will’s prosthetic,” Lily said, seeing that Phil wasn’t far from agreeing with her, “You and Will could take him out then and Scott’d never even have to know.”

“You know, you’re a cunning little thing aren’t you?” Phil chuckled softly, making Lily smirk and giggle, “Looks like we’re going to have a little undercover mission this afternoon.”

--------------------------------

“Dan. Daaaaan. Wake up Dan, we’re breaking you out.”

Dan blinked himself awake slowly, mumbling a complaint as he was shaken gently by whoever was speaking to him. His eyes slowly focused on Will’s messy hair and Phil’s bright eyes, both leaning over him where he’d been sprawled out on the sofa.

“What’re you on about?” He grumbled, not happy about having been disturbed from his nap, “What are you breaking me out of?”

“We’re taking you outside buddy, give you a chance to stretch that one leg you have left,” Will grinned. Dan could hear Lily giggling softly from somewhere behind the pair that were still leaning over him.

“Scott’s out at the moment and it’s completely clear outside,” Phil explained when he saw how confused Dan looked about Will’s joke, “I know he said you weren’t allowed out, but we all agreed it’ll do you more harm than good to just wait until your strength is properly back up. Will is going to come to protect us in case something happens, so I’ll be able to support you the whole way if you need it.”

“A-Are you serious?” Dan’s eyes were wide and he shot up into a seated position, looking between his friends as if he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing, “You’re taking me out?”

“Yep,” Phil grinned, happy to be seeing some kind of joy in Dan’s face for the first time in a while, “We can’t stay out long because Scott is right when he says your body is still weak, but I was thinking we could go and sit on the wall out front for a bit so you can get some proper fresh air and just get out of this house for a while.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” Dan beamed, throwing his arms around Phil and giving him a tight squeeze. It was clear from his elation at the simple idea of short visit outside how much being stuck in the house was affecting him, confirming for everyone in the room that the risks were more than worth it, “I love you so much.”

“Hey, it was my idea,” Lily piped up, her own face almost splitting in half with her wide grin, “Where’s my love?”

“C’mere then,” Dan giggled, waving the younger girl over to receive a tight hug.

“Right, as cute as this all is,” Will interrupted, his arms crossed though his face also sported a large grin, “We’ve got somewhere to be, so shall we head off?”

It wasn’t easy to get Dan down the multiple flights of stairs in their new home. Will was walking in front, ready to catch Dan if he fell or fight off any trouble that came their way, while Phil supported most of Dan’s weight. He’d initially tried to go down on his own using his crutches, but he’d almost immediately fallen and nearly took both Phil and Will down the whole flight of stairs with him.

By the time they reached the bottom, Dan’s limbs were all trembling a little from the effort and his forehead was covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Phil wondering if maybe this was too much for him after all, but all of his doubts wiped away the moment they stepped outside the front door.

Though he was still a little breathless, the smile on Dan’s face was bright enough to rival the sun. The last time he’d been outside had been when they moved to the new house and, thanks to a run in with a hoard after they’d broken into a building to rest, that hadn’t exactly been an enjoyable experience.

But now they were safe and there were no zombies to be seen, so Dan could truly just enjoy being out in the open air. The sun was hidden behind some clouds but it was still giving Dan a pleasant warmth against his skin, only a slight breeze blowing past and ruffling his curly fringe.

Phil gently guided Dan over to a little wall that bordered the house’s overgrown front garden, helping him sit down comfortably before taking the spot beside him. Will was stood out in the street, keeping an eye out but also giving Dan and Phil some space to enjoy this moment together.

Neither of them said anything for a long while, Phil giving Dan time just to relish in his happiness. At one point Dan leant into Phil’s chest, a soft, contented hum rumbling in his chest. His smile hadn’t dimmed once since they’d stepped outside.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. It was so calm and serene, he didn’t want to disturb that, “I didn’t realise just how much I missed...this. Just being outside and not couped up in that stuffy living room. I know I still can’t do anything more, but it’s making me feel more...free.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Phil murmured back, looking down at Dan fondly, “I’d do anything to help you feel better, God knows you deserve it after these last few months.”

“You really are perfect, you know that?” Dan grinned, tearing his gaze away from the sky to look up into Phil’s face. He leant forward, capturing Phil’s lips in a brief but very sweet kiss, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”