#and who rlly wants to write vs. like.... whos just having me as a follower / mutual count

[forgaeven1]

spring winter cleaning ! i will be purging aka begin my unfollowing ( via soft-blocking ) spree of any mutuals who haven’t been interacting with me. while i really enjoy your content on my blog, i’m afraid if there isn’t an approach, i would rather prioritise the content that are relevant to my roleplaying circle just to keep my blog a bit organised ! of course, pls always feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to start or continue anything ♡

[fuka-petals]

♡ Introduction post ♡

@fuka-petalsart <- just art

my persona

@t4t-angelyuri <- gore/nsfw, currently empty cause I'm lazy af

info on me

hihi am V but like you can also call me Kennith, Flower, etc.

Minor (over 14, clarification bc yk what passed) (I'm fine with adults interacting & being my friends! just don't seek out a romantic/sexual relationship with me lol)

I use vamp/they/he/it/voca/soap/flower pronouns {in order of preference}

I'm diagnosed autistic, seeking a diagnosis for bpd, ocd, npd, and adhd (not self diagnosed just see symptoms in both me and relatives and would like a concrete answer, I have had medical professionals advise me to seek evaluation but im lazy) also some other things I'd rather not disclose (diagnosed)

I'm an angelkin enby that uses xenogenders and am a lesbian

not always in the "right state of mind" if I say smth stupid please let me know l8tr so I can delete it

I have an ed off and on its not weight related but please don't make comments about if ppl deserve food or not around me it's extremely triggering (self worth issues ig) I do not post ed related content and I do not wish to see it. I am not pro ana

Selfshipper ^_^ single outside of f/os though. Not rlly looking 4 a relationship my ex scared me away from that stuff. Okay with sharing but please note I do take it seriously

I self ship with fukase (vocaloid), vflower (vocaloid), friedrich (mi), vixen (mi), cornelius (mi), and c'venash vishneri (psychopomp). Sorry I'm rlly cringe (draw my sona with any of them and I'll forever be grateful)

I kin betty noir (mi), ame (nso), sumireko (2hu), aoi (you and me and her), yukari (Liar Liar one), and claire (walk in the sun) so dni if you don't like them/hj

Currently hyperfixated on Vocaloid (Specifically V4Flower and Fukase), Mellow's games and ocs (MUNDUS IUMENTORUM!!), Touhou (Specifically Sumireko), Len'en, Nso, subahibi, Yume Nikki, any ynfg, Mindhaunt, you me and her, milk bag vns, pmmm, Reflexia, and Psychopomp, murdersims/guro vns in general, Awaria (not a helltaker fan), Ukagaka

all interests (I think) in no particular order - Vocaloid, Flower, Fukase, Utau, Mellow's stuff, Angelbrained's stuff, Mindhaunt, Yume Nikki + ynfgs, YTTD, NSO, ghostie-p & marz mitzi, touhou, Ukagaka, subahibi, YOU ME and HER, len'en, splatoon, rpg maker horror games, psychedelic looking art, milk inside/outside a bag of milk, rabbit maiden softworks, Liar Liar, precious theater, 8eyes, ranfren, a masochist's tango, madoka magica, precure, ojamajo doremi, reflexia, Saya no uta, mudersims/guro vns in general, corpse party, Awaria (not a helltaker fan), I'm not writing all the vns I like srry if I frogot any I don wanna type 4 hours

I fucking hate blueberries

Tags

#vs art - self explanatory

#cw [smth here] - potentially triggering posts

Dni

Olikase fans. (please respect this if nothing else)

Proshippers (don't want dash algorithm picking up things that are triggering to me)

Pro harassment antis

radfems

transphobes

homophobes

acephobes

queerphobia in any way shape or form

racists

sexists (both ways)

fatphobes

yk the basic dni shit srry I'm not typing allat anymore

prolifers

support killing innocent people

ai "artists"

annoying eng vocaloid fans (yk what I fucking mean)

Puritans. You will be blocked. It's based in queerphobia and demonizes sexuality. If you don't want to see nsfw then block tags, don't force others to not be kinky because you're an ass (note, I mean people who call it gross n stuff, if you are a minor or ace or smth and don't want nsfw accs following you bc of that that's fine! Also this isn't an nsfw acc either, I have a pixiv 4 that, just rlly passionate abt my hate 4 puritans...)

Ed/sh posters. Refer to previous points. I do not wish to relapse over fucking tumblr

furry haters (grow up its 2024)

Tcc fans. You wouldnt survive a day on 4chan and kiwifarms (I don't like kiwifarms btw and certain 4chan boards)

use the term femboy on women (on non women is fine w/ permission)

Blacklist

Do not bring up @/ Denzi-P to me or talk about me to them. They are not a good person and I do not wish to be associated with them.

Try and keep that the only name on this list

Links

itch

toyhouse

everskies

artfight

strawpage (will be replaced with a neocities site soon)

[vulpinesaint]

Hi, I wanted to ask you how you make your quizzes. They’re beautiful and chilling, but more importantly they’re right. I’ve never had any answer tug on my heartstrings in a way that feels so personal like these

hi, my love! first of all, thank you. as to being right: i've talked about it elsewhere, but i'm really fond of the joke my friends made about quizzes being the equivalent of tarot for me. i think it's apt, both in the way that i manage to pull at some specific emotional strings and in the way that the person who gets the results gives those words meaning for themself :) if you want to live in a delightful fantasy world with me you can believe that i am a little bit psychic... i have loved doing this kind of thing forever though. in middle school i used to make little fortune tellers that would be like. different desserts as the final options. and i was always right with those too haha

to be really honest, though, i don't think there's a huge trick to it! i'm only writing about nine possible results for people to end up with, so i keep them as kind of general archetypes. are they a little specific and personal! um! yes! but you know what i mean. when an answer pulls from an idea of giving too much of yourself or a fear of never being loved or never being seen, those are very personal, but they're personal to different people in different ways. hence why it's so important that the reader gives the words a meaning that is personal to them :) plus the more specific you are the more people will pop up to tell you that their result was NOT meaningful to them. which. hey man. there are only nine results and also i am writing a personality quiz on the internet i am not going to rip someone's soul out every time <3 only most of the time <3

once you've got the results though it's just. assigning them to answers. i don't write questions with anything specific in mind rlly and results get assigned to answers based on vibes <3 in my head i am looking at the possible answers for a question and going "okay... the type of person who would end up with [ insert result here ]... which answer feels like one they would choose..." and sometimes it's a matter of optimistic vs. pessimistic answers and sometimes it's a matter of okay well. i think this is more of a lilac answer than a sunflower haha (which... again... if you want to live in my beautiful world... play in the space with me... i like to believe that i am following a little bit of an innate sense there... but it could all just come down to pattern recognition in the end <3). i really wish i had something more helpful to say but i really think it is writing about a specific yet widely-applicable issue and then following the vibes. none of this stops me from getting clocked over the head with my own quizzes either. took the last one going "haha i don't even know what answer i would get! maybe the chalice?" and then i got the statue and i had to sit and stare at my screen for a while. local man gets called out for being a perfectionist to the point of detracting from the joy of the art itself by one of the various projects where he has detracted from the joy of the art itself by insisting that it's not good enough it's not precise enough it's not exact enough. anyway. time to go back to being really incredibly normal about my poetry grad school apps

[koqabear]

hiii, your works are absolutely amazing, esp only you darling, i had literally had chills when i read it, it was so fucking terrifying in the best way possible. i know you spoke about your thought process when writing longer fics, but i wanted to ask how you nail characters and emotions so perfectly. i'm trying to write a thriller/horror fic right now, and you just write the genre so well, i had to ask. how do you show characterization so well? i'm sorry if this doesnt make sense lol 😭

AHHHH OMG THANK YOU SM 😭😭 this was a little hard for me to explain bc honestly i don't even know how i do it myself... i tried rlly hard to break down little things i like to do under the cut, i hope this helps!!

(note. i literally tried so hard to explain this as thoroughly and clearly as i could that i drafted it and FORGOT ABOUT IT. i know its late but i hope you're still able to find a bit of use from this.)

so first, whenever i think of a character, i try to flesh out a few things: what is their role in the story, what kind of dynamic do i want them to have with other characters, and what kind of person do i want them to be/be perceived as overall?

*something that i'd like to point out is the importance that inner dialouge/thoughts vs. the behavior and spoken dialogue can have on characterization. it really helps establish a character as a good or bad person and can make them more dimensional (ex: having a scene where yeonjun comforts mc over a breakup but is only thinking about how happy he is to have her to himself now)

the two most complex and important characters in OYD are beomjun, ofc; when writing them, the very first thing that came with their character was their roles: yeonjun was the best friend, beomgyu was the stranger and eventually, catalyst to every bad event 😭 yeonjun is the best friend who is pining hopelessly after the mc and has a false moral compass-- he's protective over the mc and keeps a tense relationship with beomgyu; just a tad bit afraid of what the other is willing to do, but still willing to go along with it bc of his obsession. beomgyu is made out to be the charismatic stranger that the mc just can't help but get close to; he has a very manipulative relationship with both the mc and yeonjun, and he's used as a device to move the story along, if that makes sense.

so with yeonjun, i made him out to be very sweet and doting over the mc; scolding her for letting gyu fix her laptop, feeling bad for lying to her, caring for her while she's sick, comforting her after her n jaemin broke up. i also added how close they were by adding small details like the fact that they've been friends for a long time, enough for yj to know the mc's family, and for them to be able to be touchy and clingy. i did all that to show that yj really cared for the mc and that his feelings for her were genuine; by building a background and adding small scenes like the one where they got caught in the storm and the mc has clothes for yj to change into, their close relationship was made believable.

but alsoooo, i wanted to show that yeonjun was very possessive and borderline (straight up) obsessed with the mc-- constantly being around her, scolding her for small careless mistakes, getting jealous when seeing her around other men and following her during a date; all things that eventually escalated bit by bit-- but still blended in with his innocent, cute moments, so that it showed a struggle between his two sides-- until it was finally revealed that he's had thoughts of tracking the mc long before gyu even suggested it; after showing that and letting him indulge in those dark desires, i allowed myself to write about yeonjun's descent into the side he was desperately trying to get away from; that toxic, possessive side that allowed gyu to hack into her computer for him to watch.

and ofc, once he descended into that side, there was no going back. i still kept that lovey persona yeonjun had in the beginning, but i also emphasized his possessiveness until ultimately, it became unhealthy and yeonjun became mentally unstable.

nowwwww, onto beomgyu! the thing about him was that he was an entire stranger to the mc, so first impressions were crucial. he's a very strong and complicated character that had his motives exposed almost right away. going back to my note* back at the top, i used the contrast between his actions and thoughts to really sell the whole "manipulation" thing-- because that's what manipulation is, essentially: controlling and misleading someone by acting and saying whatever is necessary.

so! we have his motives-- to get closer with the mc-- and his methods-- stalking, cameras, etc.-- so now we just blend this in with one final thing: how will he be perceived? how is he actually?

on the outside, he's a quiet, charming, nonchalant person, and the mc's shyness and attraction to him helps aid that idea-- but that's how he's perceived to the mc at least! the way he acts around yeonjun is the same, but with that added layer of him constantly pressuring and threatening him. (but subtly, which gives him the benefit of the doubt) by adding scenes where he plants ideas into yeonjun's mind and making it seem like it was the other's idea (like the tracker on the mc's phone, or him hacking into her computer for yj) or moments where he's acting all coy and charming with the mc (teasing her for calling him "gyu", the scene at the garden or wtv), it helps to really convince the audience that hey, this bitch has layers! and is kinda crazy...

but again, there's how he's perceived and what he's really like-- and that's a manipulative psychopath. so once he reached his motive, aka killed soobin and successfully took the mc to the cabin, i let his true colors show, but still kept that charming and intimidating personality around, just to keep it consistent. like, he's super doting and helps the mc recover, but in the end takes advantage of her vulnerability to establish a closer relationship-- he was the most eager to get to her no matter what, so he was the first to make an advance toward her (kissing her immediately after they arrived at the cabin)

in summary, here's what's really important to think of when wanting to characterize a character properly:

-how should this person be perceived? how are they actually?

-how do they interact with other characters? do they have different sides they show? how do they talk and act around certain people?

-what are their motives? what will they do to accomplish them?

remember that "filler" scenes are your best friend when wanting to really flesh out a character; it allows you to show the audience what they're like in even the most mundane situations, lets them see growth happen naturally and in a well paced manner, and makes them seem more real (ex. again, the rain scene with yj and mc!)

pleaaaaase let me know if you have any more questions!!!! i'd love to answer them, and ofc lmk if you need me to clear something up! i wish you sooo much luck with your story! (or any future ones) this genre seriously isnt for the weak.

[voidreplacement]

him updates <3

it’s a lot btw

future me here: added tags cuz i want people’s opinions on this even tho i don’t usually add tags

i still like him sigh

also

he sent shirtless picture through insta (cuz that’s where we talk right) ON BOMB MODE

i however

being absolutely stupid

TOOK A FUCKING SCREENSHOT

AND IT TOLD HIM

AND HE COMMENTED ON THAT

LIKE STFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

i covered it up saying it was an accident and i’d don’t mean to and THANKFULLY he changed the subject but godDAMN

if i had a nickel for every time a guy i liked showed me a shirtless picture i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice

like be so fr with me

is that a good sign that he likes me-? idk bro all my guy friends are hella unreliable when it comes to this stuff

sigh

HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

like don’t play

no and i didn’t even ask for it if that makes sense?

like before he sent it we were talking abt hw right

and then he says “Yoo chest vein goes fire” and i responded with “oh shoot you ate thatttt”

then we go back to talking abt teachers and hw and what not yk and he says again “Wait i look like a grown man with my shirt off” and i respond with “oh what / like in his 30s grown man” and he sends “No like a 20s grown man / I made it look like batman” i say back “you made yourself look like batman??? / impossible”

and this guy

sends

“Goat angles”

and the doomed bomb photo

followed with

“Chest vein goes crazy too”

mind you

i’m sitting here, on the floor, SUPPSOED to be locking in on hw, in front of my mirror

my hand is SHAKING and i see the aforementioned chest vein

i also see

that the photo is a bomb

i PANIC and take a ss cuz HELLO?

(yes i’m aware that’s weird asf but give me some slack i’m just a girl who’s crush SENT THEM A SHIRTLESS PHOTO. would you do the same? most likely i presume)

so yes i’m sitting there with the ss secured not having sent anything yet and just trying to calm myself in general cuz obviously my hearts beating hella fast. i’m thinking at this point

“omg what just happened” “i am no better than a man oh my god” “if i was a guy i would be SO HARD RIGHT NOW” “did he actually just send me that” “i’m dreaming this isn’t real this is a dream” etc etc

and he responds

“Did bro just snap a picture”

“Judas goes crazy too”

bcoz OFC it told him i took a photo and he just HAD to comment on that fact that he put judas by lady gaga on the photo as one does on insta

i PANIC and start texting my bsf

i’m sending her videos, screenshots, screen recordings, and overall spamming the poor girl

i know im being INCREDIBLY dramatic but i couldn’t calm down since i was going to SEE HIM the EXACT NEXT DAY and i was VERY embarrassed

i responded back to him after a good 10 mins saying “i in fact did BUT it was cuz i panicked since the i saw it as abt to explode and i didn’t see the vein right away / judas indeed goes crazy / live laugh live lady gaga”

he goes “The bomb is crazy” and i double down saying “yea bro the bomb / i forgot insta had that so i panicked” and he says “Silly little warhead”

THE FUCK?????? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???????

i say exactly that (basically) “what does that even mean 💀😭”

and he just says “Your welcome / Now / Are you a different animal / And the same beast”

“wdym”

“Your welcome”

“bros pulling a the rock” (moana reference T-T)

“Yup”

“the question now is / w h y”

“I have the most elegant pen eber / *photo of said pen on his hw* / Its supposedly a rlly expensive pej”

and that was the end of the whole fiasco

and that was on november 20th, 2024 (writing this on nov 27, 2024 so a week later”

so that’s the biggest plot with him idk

a few weeks ago as well he sent me raw footage of him getting a new pr on bench along with an edited video of him getting a new pr on deadlift

when i say edited vs raw, i mean the bench video has no filter, his face was uncovered, etc but the deadlift video DID have a filter and song lyrics covered his face

when i commented on that the deadlift video had no cover he said that it was normally to hide the struggle face but it wasn’t as bad in the video plus the lyrics covered enough so it wasn’t needed

which fair enough cuz i would do the same right

however he’s posted himself before NOT at the gym and he covered his face so then so?????

he’s just comfy with me now????

also the bench video he sent me had NO cover and the struggle face was very prominent yk

he also showed me both BEFORE he posted them on his story

(obviously i hyped him up tf)

and he would update me on how it was doing

he also consistently updated me on new prs in different areas

so idk

is that a good sign? is any of it?

[angeltism]

random 1am ramble under the cut

ykw maybe this is just 1am aqua thinking too hard but there really doesn't feel like there's a proportionate amount of resources for beings who's relationships ended because things just simply. didn't work. vs those who's relationships ended in some kind of hellfire torment situation.

like, example, there's so many songs of "I hate my ex I hope uu die ++ are never happy again I hope uur goldfish dies ++ everybun uu know leaves uu" or whatever.. but nawt rlly any, at least that I've found, that are just. "hey, I know we wanted this to work, but it didn't, and that's okay but I still feel kinda upset about this because even though neither of us did anything wrong this still sucks"

all the more somber songs I find are often from the pov of "uu hurt me but I miss uu despite uu being a horrible being" or "take me back take me back take me back take me back take m-" but like... all those who weren't actually hurt, but still don't want to return to their old relationship?

and maybe it's because it's less interesting. less dramatic. a song about violent heartbreak can also be broader, fit more people, because relationships do often end in lots of pain and hurt, but idk.

still feels weird whenever I'm trying to look at edgy quotes or listen to music to healthily deal with my emotions and none of it really fits, it's all too intense ++ emotional ++ full of spite or heartbreak I don't even. have? does this make sense?

and it's nawt like I'm expecting beings to write songs for my specific experiences, but idk, I've known a lot of beings who've also had relationships end because of things that were out of everybun involved's controls ++ they generally seem to agree w me on this??

and it doesn't even strictly apply to music, although that's what reminded me of this, but in general breakups and separations tend to get consistently portrayed as "somebun did something wrong" or "both beings involved were doing something wrong" when.. yes, that is the easiest way to end a relationship, it's nawt always the case?

like.. most of the advice online for how to deal w a breakup I've found is through the lens of having been wronged or hurt, but how am I supposed to follow that advice when... that isn't what happened? and I do suppose that it might be partially because in a situation where it kinda just. didn't work. uu can only really let time heal any emotional ouchies uu have, but still, like. some "cheer uurself up" advice that isn't "key uur ex's car" or "go make out w the nearest living thing to show uur ex on how much better uu are now that uu've broken up mwahahaha!!!!" please? idk give me ways 2 remember the good parts and cry a lil in a healthy way. shrugs.

is this literally anything or am I rambling about nothing at nearly 2am

[ghooostbaby]

amazing additions thank you!!!

@biboomerangboi #I’m living for him and his platonic spy wives#also because you mentioned Yinxuan I think it’s so funny that we have actually spy ringleader in charge of spys vs spymaster but its clones#but also the fun implications#That Yin Yu who is loved by his wives must be ultimate playboy ever and got amazing skills and game#AND JEALOUSY#because for funsies He Xuan can’t get any details Hua Cheng doesn’t want him to have cause the wives are that good#So HC is just letting HX think that Yin Yu is choosing all these beautiful woman all the time and it’s his choice not a gambling thing#so he is pacing and seething and has tried to plant a clone in the harem before for seducing plan but YY figured it out and banned him#missing the seducing was the point not spying#HC is watching this like it’s greys anatomy#i love everything about this

so truuue i didn't even think of that connection with yin yu surrounded by his spy wives and he xuan as the spymaster!! as he xuan is already known for using a female form undercover he could easily try to insert himself as another wife!! it would be so funny and cute if he's just trying to do that to get in with yin yu but yin yu and his wives everytime are like 'eject the intruder!!' how apt that the only one he xuan's chameleon nature can't fool is yin yu (the one no one notices ^.^).. meanwhile yin yu is like how can i get he xuan to notice me?! (maybe he doesn't know exactly that the intruder is he xuan for that last part to work...)

@good-vs-evo #im imagining them all having similar masks to yin yu too but like w slightly different variations to differenciate btwn them#BRO???? why is everyone on tumbr cooking so hard#i love scary women too like i bet they could more than handle themselves#but also fuck w them and get ready for the waning moon officer himself to pull up on ur doorstep#THATS SO CUTE TOO the bad advice??? like yin yu just sitting in the center of a circle of really cool badass women like ‘sooo.. theres this#guy’ and theyre like ‘WE GOT U!!!’ (they do not got him)#some time later we get yinxuan together and he xuan is like u were rlly strange when we first started talking and yin yu’s like ahahaha…#tgcf#yin yu#waning moon brides

hahaha '(they do not got him)' damn i don't even write fan fiction but i really want to write a fan fiction of yin yu trying to pursue he xuan w very silly advice from the wives and hua cheng and maybe some ghost city residents while we're at it ... maybe if yin yu is following hua cheng's advice especially depending on if this is pre or post-finding xie lian again it would be something like devote several centuries to accumulating as much knowledge, skills, and treasures you can and then you can finally go and shower him with them, or alternatively just show up at their place and start doing chores while looking cute (honestly not a bad way to go at all)... perhaps since he xuan knows hua cheng quite well when yin yu starts with his hua cheng-inspired seduction plan he xuan can recognize the signs and is kind of bemused to realize what is happening when yin yu shows up at his lair and starts tidying ... maybe if it was post xie lian, xie lian would get involved and suggest something sensible like inviting he xuan to dinner and talking to him, so for the shennanigans version it would have to be when all of them have been single all their lives and are just feeling around in the dark together (he xuan is the only one who has had a romantic relationship before and is just like ... wat is happening)

HI

inspired by reading this post by @biboomerangboi considering how hua cheng was going to deal with the (almost) gambled daughter in the gamblers den scene if lang qianqiu hadn't interfered: "Option 2) She has to work in Ghost City for 20 years and is married to Yin Yu in name only (because Hua Cheng can’t have a wife at all or he won’t win Gege) then gets pleasantly divorced and giving a severance payment after 20 years."

ok!!!!! hua cheng's sneaky operation to liberate the daughters of shitty men who use them as collateral (? i'm sorry i don't know gambling terminology) in the gamblers den by making them yin yu's tribute wives!! yin yu has a platonic harem of mysterious women given full freedom to pursue any and every interest they want, go where they want, for their time in the harem, fully resourced by hua chengzhu.

the first time something like this happened hua cheng was like hmmmm how am i gonna get out of this one to fuck this guy over and protect his daughter...

*a few hours later* yin yu receiving a message that he was now married like 'hua chengzhu?!??!!' but the system works (and yin yu finds his wives pretty helpful with his work) and they keep adding wives

i'm picturing a troupe of mysterious, cloaked and masked figures gliding through the city as the ghosts quiet as they pass and clear a path for them to go on whatever their business is, either performing a task for the waning moon officer or their own secret affairs.

perhaps called "the waning moon brides" ... they're kind of like a closed sect or secret society or initiation cult or girl gang XD of talented, interesting, intelligent, mysterious women who are free to spend their time following whatever passions they want, roam around the city or go travelling. they can go to yin yu if they need something, or to help him with any tasks he needs done.

and because i'm a yinxuan shipper and can't help it... yin yu goes to them for advice after he sees he xuan's blackwater form for the first time and decides to set out to seduce him. (probably most of them don't know what they're doing either and give him terrible advice)

[cabinetduo]

ctubbo characterization master post

Ok so I was thinking abt ctubbo and characterization and how a lot of the fandom doesn't rlly have a solid grip on him (no shade its not on here mainly) whether it's bcs of lack of interest or exaggeration and like fandom lense or whatever (he tends to kinda get fucked ovr in ensemble fics) and then I thought well we talk abt scary nuke violence tubbo vs uwu beeboy or whatever but I was thinking there's definitely more to it then that bcs sometimes when I'm writing even I'm super insecure abt my portrayl of ctubbo so ig this post is kind of like a breakdown using some of my fav ctubbo things for me that could b useful 4 others as well

(This might b a little unorganized and like unprofessional-!!i will misspell and abbreviate a lot srry!!-but it's tumblr so who cares just don't expect too much cohesiveness I am writing this to get my thoughts out mostly

[DISCLAIMER!! most of this is my personal interpretation of ctubbo seeing as that's what ctubbo is mostly, what u interpret him as, but also its a bunch of notes and common traits that I got from awesome ctubbo fans and I'm mainly making it 2 help me :) < I'm not linking canon examples and evidence bcs I'm lazy and fuck that alsooo I'll mainly b focusing on ctubbo individually and not his relationships and such

ctubbos humor

I'm gnna start w ctubbos humor and irony and that kinda stuff. So like w ctubbo and characterization a lot of times ppl will take traits or speaking habits from the streamer and apply them to the character which is common in the general mcyt fandom but w ctubbo it's esp common bcs of cctubbos whole "ctubbo is just me but if I was put into certain situations" which we've kinda moved past seeing as that thought process worked better in the earlier seasons before ctubbo was morw cctubbo and less a result of his circumstances, his experiences, and ctubblings drawing lines between things << this isn't my main focus rn tho there is a huge distinction between cc and ctubbo

To get to the point ctubbo is a pretty serious dude but also he's not, there's a fun middle ground that I like where ctubbos humor has definitely become darker as he's aged bcs of his circumstances. One of the best examples I can thing of is this line from elegy in eleven bars by ssootsprite

^^this definitely portrays ctubbos humor well imo, the dark irony and humor that often stems from taht fact that ctubbo will sometimes jsut do what he finds funny but usually those take form on a smaller scale if we want an actual cohesive character

ctubbo swiss army knife

Ive made a handful of posts abt this but one bit abt ctubbo that is often missed is the fact that he's been dehumanized throughout his story which led to him internalizing it not seeing himself as a person entirely, more like a tool for others or a means to an end. I love love dsmp au fics but something some of them miss out on is ctubbos urge to serve others which stems into two branches that I call safety and self

When in a dangerous situation or around someone that he's deemed dangerous ctubbo will instinctively shift to politeness and servitude occasionally its his follower instinct<<this is bcs of manburg specifically cschlatt though it was really instilled to him by cdream after the whitehouse fight (where he called him a follower) and the disc saga finale (called him a sidekick). This happens sometimes in canon but enough times for it to be a full blown like, thing my fav explanation of this is augustus evergreen by thatweirdguyinthebushes on ao3

The second facet "self" is more deep, it's ctubbos actual beliefs, that he's not worth anything if he's not doing something or his tendency to work as a means of avoiding emotion. He doesn't see himself as a person or a child, often forcing himself into the roll of an adult to meet a goal of serving others (his nlm presidency) < this also comes from Manburg but can also be tied to my fav quote "a good kid and a better spy" (not gnna go too into ctubbos spy mentality bcs that's a whole other essay LOL) after being repeatedly handed jobs that are not meant for kids, responsibities much larger than him, he internalized all of it and tied it to his self worth and how he sees himself

Fav FAVVVV example is this poem and art

by @/yellogazello which gets the point across by whacking u ovr the head w emotion and some ctubbo aesthetics that rlly do well 4 his character -> also I made 2 web weaves on all ^^^this if ur interested also I've got a bunch of analysis on it in #smpanalysis bcs it's my fave ctubbo is kind of naturally a follower but this isn't always a complete negative (see: the way he comfortably follows Tommy or the way he and Tommy willingly followed Wilbur- it isn't always an 100% bad thing but over the course of his life it's kind of been tainted

ctubbo logic brain

Tubbo "logic braining" something =/= him thinking logically it's him and his fucked up process that filters things through his weird logic that would make any stable person worried, his brain does flips to rationalize his own and others thought processes to make them make sense to him, it's the same kind of thinking that is responsible for his "safe people" its the same kind of thinking that makes him blame himself for things that were clearly out of his control. While ctubbo is often seen as a more "brain lead" character, most, hell, all of his core motivations are emotional >> the need to protect his loved ones, his people, the innocent, to live upto expectations, and so on. This ties into his protective sort of paranoid nature that he displays toward his loved ones that is sometimes misconstrued as controlling

A lot of ^^^^^ this can be tied to ctubbos relationship w attachments and belongings which is one of the dsmps overall themes, ctubbos logic being that attachment is irrational and only leads to being hurt but forming attachments and getting hurt against his better judgment

ctubbo and the nukes

One thing that is often lost in surface level depictions of ctubbo is the nuke plot. This is often used to characterize ctubbo as violent or immoral (which I won't deny he can be at times) but one key detail about ctubbos nukes is that they were always a last resort, no matter what he threatened or said he never ever wanted to use them, constantly emphasizing how crazy it was that he had access to so much power and how terrified he was of misusing it in the missing nuke stream w jack. ctubbo has always always been a peaceseeking character. Like w most things abt ctubbo there's a nice middle ground, though tubbo leans less towards chaotic and more towards solemn, esp when at an emotional low

The nukes hold a lot of symbolism for ctubbo and are often presented as an antithesis to the bee symbolism used for him > the nukes being him becoming more violent and straying from what is deemed moral as a defense mechanism, becoming worse than your enemies (stay soft by mitski etc) and the bees representing his innocence and the loss of it (a common theme w ctubbo and on the dsmp in general) tying to the more nature-y imagery that become professional/political in late s1 & 2 which then became technologybased and cold in s3 & 4

ctubbos emotional intelligence

Another thing that a lot of people miss about ctubbo is that he has very veryy little emotional intelligence. Post-Michael kidnapping and arguably pre-Michael kidnapping there was this (mildly popular) notion that ctubbo was together emotionally to the point where there were a lot of misunderstandings surrounding his actions but the thing is he isn't. When it comes to himself ctubbo is aware that he is effected by his trauma (he will often make references to it) but he never does anything about it, he views it as irritational and tends to compartmentalize and repress his emotions which often leads to him hurting himself and others. ctubbos responses to emotion range from pure apathy to overwhelming him to the point of tears (which we've seen once w the anniversary stream) He's also not very good with recognizing the emotions of others, while he is good at reading people and their intentions (mainly people he has close relationships with) he is generally extremely blunt sometimes to the point of hurting other people's feelings on accident which he usually apologizes for immediately afterwards. In fact, ctubbos bluntness and politeness are a fun contrast to experiment with if you're interested

With all of ^^^this stuff dissonance by shrugofgod does a rlly good job of this I'm just putting a small snippet but the entire fic is incredible w sm details and ctubbo intricacies it's so good

ctubbo survival and tragedy

ctubbo has survived a lot especially in comparison to other characters he is close to << that was badly worded, what I mean is a lot of the people in ctubbos life have died/were dead/are dead and he just isn't. Tragedy is a large part of ctubbo, if something is going right for him it will inevitably go wrong, things like stability don't exist for him, he doesn't trust it and why should he? His paranoia has consistently been proven to be justified over and over again. Dramatic irony is such a huge part of him, he's experienced so much and has survived through so much but its like he can't die and he has to live everytime.

I made a webweave abt this that pust cqs firey survival next to ctubbos cold survival, I think i do a better job explaining in the notes of that

And this post which is the best thing I've ever posted is basically a bunch of super talent tubblings who've written poetry abt this topic (and other ctubbo stuff but mainly this) if u wnna check it out

Most of these things can be heavily elaborated on (nature of the dsmp is to have incredible fleshed out characters that feel human and awesome and that make u crazy) but this is kinda a summary and I have others posts that kind of do that I just wanted to put all this in one place

More stuff ⬇️

This post is a succinct and well put ctubbo explanation/summary and a fave

And this post is wondas god tier dsmp characterism breakdown that will save ur life if ur a writer

This post is a fic recs post that has a lot of epic awesome dsmp writers but a lot of them write ctubbo bcs I'm biased

And finally here's a link to tubbo3091<3333 which a roleplay blog that has the most perfect ctubbo characterization ever in the world

[cataclysmicwriting]

Will I ever make an intro I'm happy with? Who knows, the answer so far remains no skjfnesg

About me:

☆ Harrow, 26, he/they, gay and trans ☆ I work full time so writing is sporadic ☆ I use my likes as a bookmark system, to hold on to things I want to check out/add to my queue until I have time to do so ☆ This is a sideblog! I follow from @cataclysmicqueer

About my writing:

☆ I write a mix of short stories and longer wips ☆ My short stories can be read over on Vocal for free! ☆ I like to write in a variety of genres, but I can guarantee everything I write will be gay and I tend to write tragedies a lot ☆ I am always open to ask/tag games and getting to know other writers! ☆ I never know what to post in regards to my own stories, pls bear with me skjfnesge

What I want to follow:

☆ I love love love superpowers, fantasy, and sci-fi stories ☆ huge fan of found family, old/dead gods, bastardization arcs, and extensive character/world building ☆ would rlly love to connect with other writers of short stories!

My WIPs:

I have Many(tm) ideas and these aren't likely to be the only ones I talk about, just the main ones I put time/effort into. Formal intros for them coming soon-ish.

The Chaos in Justice || First Draft In Progress || Max Greenwich has just gained acceptance to the Grand Chaos Institute, home of the next generation of the world's worst supervillains. It's not long before he finds himself uncovering a plot to end the world, and he must team up with a group of heroes and villains alike to protect everyone. found family ; what it means to be good/evil ; fate vs free will

Lantern's Light (title pending) || First Draft in Progress || Sorran would be the first to admit they're not a great person, in fact, they're kinda a bitch. But when they happen to extend a bit of kindness to someone in need, it turns out the "someone" is actually an old god. An old god who has now decided Sorran is her new champion, and now they're stuck babysitting the reborn champion of the gods in some epic quest to defeat a threat to all of existence. found family ; redemption/bastardization arcs ; mix of high and modern fantasy ; parallel story arcs

??? (what are titles who knows not me) || planning stages || I don't have a proper blurb for this just yet but what to expect: homestuck-level dumbassery, video games as a plot mechanic, inspiration from things such as homestuck, genshin impact, centaurworld, and some hella world-building.

[astralscrivener]

hiiiii im rereading squad up bc I've been trawling the klance archives to rec stuff to my sister and im having feelings!!! The first feeling is deep and nostalgic affection!!! You were posting the chapters of their senior year during my junior year, and you bet I was rereading it my senior year, and a lot of the events that you referenced or like the media they liked my friends and I were into at the same time, like (to be continued 1/?)

(cont)

idk binging the entirety of whichever new vld season the second it dropped, or losing our minds over tlt musical. Your writing and the almost daily chapter notifications (holy shit) hold such a dear place in my heart, anyway ty for putting so much love into the world; you make it a better place.

The second feeling is awe bc hhhot damn do you write a lot and it just keeps getting better!! Wtf!!! (To be continued 2/?)  

(cont again)

Half the reason I stopped my reread to write this is because one of the ch notes (somewhere in the 70s) says smth like heyyyy I'm gonna maybe stop posting daily chapters anyway go read my other five ongoing fics. every time I see ur username in my inbox bc AO3 notifs I'm reminded of the sheer level of ridiculous talent & dedication I see in your writing. anyway thx for being cool (tbc 3/?)

(cont again again)

The third feeling is. Idk where it comes from but especially with this series I feel as tho u've given me-the-reader the chance to walk alongside something. In pace w the timeline or w the stage of life?? or the emotional ups/downs of the characters in a way that is rlly hard to find. Thank you for writing this in the time that you did, in the way that you did, and also specifically for writing love the way that you did because it's incredibly beautiful. (4/?)

(cont again again again)

anyway I'm gonna go back to my reread! gn and thanks for doing what you do <3 (5/5)

ngl i teared up receiving this ask last night 

thank you so much for this 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it still astounds me that there are people still not just like, following my socials but still reading my fics who were there 4-5 years ago when i was originally posting them

sometimes i have a complicated relationship with fics like squad up, just on a writing/technical level, and comments like these remind me of why i still keep it up

it originated just as a way for me to cope with day-to-day life because i was going through a lot when i was posting it. it was a transitional period in my life, my social life was in flux because of that, and i needed a way to escape. it touches me to know that i touched other people and was able to help them through their day-to-day lives, too. 

especially on the portrayal of love in squad up, that fic honestly helped me figure out that i was bi and what i wanted out of a relationship. almost 5 years out now from when i first started writing squad up, and at about the same point in my relationship where keith and lance were in theirs when i was writing it (1 year and 10 months into mine, vs keith and lance being 1 year and almost 5 months into theirs in chapter 1), my outlook on relationships hasn’t changed, and i think that’s a testament to the way it’s kind of helped me figure out what i wanted 

thank you for this. thank you so, so much, and best of luck in wherever life takes you 🥺🥺💖💖💖

[queen-mabs-revenge]

#like. sorry but the same group of footballers so incensed by nate’s SYMBOLIC rejection of the in-group (the believe sign)#that they played like shit just to be able to beat up on ppl who had nothing to do with the sign#are not (believably!) going to come back to nate on a whim#like. even without getting into all the points abt colins demonstrable fears of coming out to ppl he doesn’t trust 110%#the idea that the players incredibly intense sense of us vs them (as seen by them closing ranks in front of Trent on roys word) is#something. inconsequential to their characterisation and can just be papered over off screen is so insulting!!#like. BEFORE they knew it was a personal betrayal they were threatening violence! why would that passion DECREASE?#and that’s INTERESTING! it’s one of the subtle but rlly worrying flaws of Ted’s system#like. that instead of seeing teds open mindedness and good will and continual efforts to give them both the room + the reason to improve#themselves and then in turn extending that open mind + heart to others. they instead get really protective + defensive OF their space in#that ‘circle of grace’ and will push and shove anyone who doesn’t ‘deserve’ that treatment away#like. ted is uncomfortable with that at least as of s1 (‘we’d die for you coach!’ ‘bit intense for me sam!’)#but beard + roy have no problem both acknowledging it and leveraging it for their own ends (ie: icing Trent out + the nate video)#and#fuck man to just write that all off??? like that’s INTERESTING! that’s a really tasty and juice conflict!#and to act like NONE of those pressures exist in the context of welcoming nate back to richmond??#like again im not at all anti nate or thinking he needs to lower himself#but ur so right in that the idea that richmond would welcome him back freely just feels painfully ungrounded#in the stakes + character motivations the SHOW ITSELF conditioned u to expect#like.#ted lasso follow through on the plot lines + motivations u set up challenge [IMPOSSIBLE - APPARENTLY] (tags via @time-is-restored)

i am CLAWING AT MY FACE because YES YES YES YES YES gOD

i didn't even really think through this aspect of the Lasso Way but GOD you're so right and ALSO exploring this would have been SUCH a good way to have the same exact scene with beard and nate re: beard's backstory reveal except it could have been tied in with the team Going Through It about whether or not to trust nate/give him a second chance???

like i do think the scene with ted and beard was narratively satisfying bc beard's backstory has been such an intimately kept secret btw the two of them -- but at the same time, ted did have to hold his hand through it all? if they're setting up that ted has done all he can for everyone and the lasso way is good to go now... uhhhh this didn't really prove that, did it? this could have been a moment where beard took that lesson he and roy learned after the west ham match and put it into action himself!

how much more cathartic would it have been to have beard observing a debate btw the team about nate - some arguing in favor of wanting him back bc, some saying that no matter the reasons he sacrificed his career he can't be trusted. maybe someone points to trent in the corner as an example of the pro side ('look what that prick did to ted, but now he's our prick!'); someone else tries to bring beard in as backup against nate bc it's clear beard has been the model for the hyper-defensive us-v-them i'll-kill-for-tedthis-team and that be the catalyst for beard realising that he's not giving the grace he's been given to the extreme, and that's causing knock-on effects on the team antithetical to the dynamic he's purportedly so protective of. i'm not a writer but drop a cryptic beard one-liner in here that lets the audience and the team know he's not on the side they thought?

(i could see a very beard reaction to that realisation being him walking up to ted and bear hugging him out of nowhere [maybe a confused ted reaction like 'everything ok, coach?' and beard dead serious saying ted's line in response: 'i appreciate you'] and just nodding and walking away, and then cut to the scene with nate exactly as it was).

the way that would have actually created a path through which so many of the obstacles to nate returning are worked through on screen while developing all the characters!! and i do mean all paths bc like after the team's unhinged violence during the west ham match literally why would nate want to come back to that environment, too??? why should we the audience believe that the team isn't holding a grudge that they're smiling through and that will snap back and harm nate in some way??? SHOW ME. SHOW ME TO MY FACE ALL OF THIS PLEASE FUCKING HELL, JASON. YOU SET THE PINS UP NOW KNOCK THEM DOWN, JASON. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

OK so first of all i am not a nate-needs-to-mortify-his-flesh-to-be-redeemed girlie so fucking jot that down. i don't think he needs to grovel, i don't even think we need an extended boo hoo apology scene for anyone involved. nate's story is about reconciliation with himself and others through real self-esteem and contentment, not about whatever christian penance brainrot ppl are coming up with.

but i am fucking baffled by that opening scene with isaac, colin and will visiting nate at work and how -- yet again -- really essential character beats are just happening off screen and we're supposed to be super chill and emotionally swept along by it all?

(long ass v critical post under the cut)

"we want you to come back to richmond" uhhhhhhhhhh "the whole team talked about it and it was unanimous" …….?????????????? like besides the fact that there is literally no established tactical reason why the team feels that they need nate to come back considering they're pretty fucking successful at the moment, the show has given us no reason to believe that would be a decision made by a team that is and needs to be protective of its current interpersonal dynamic!

now again, i want to be very fucking clear as i go through the following that i don't think that nate is homophobic and i'm not accusing him of that, and again i'm not here like 'oh colin needs an uwu special apology'. but lay out the facts as far as the players know (because that's all that's been on screen): nate tore up the sign and ~~someone~~ exposed information about ted's panic attacks to the press - they're himbos but i mean come on. the last interactions between nate and the team - and especially colin - were pretty targeted cruelty and belittlement laced with misogynistic language (that yes, has been used pretty casually throughout the dressing room - not just a nate thing), and then nate goes to work for a club owned by the man who fostered the toxic swamp richmond was to begin with? bro. bro.

literally my first thought was -- how is colin eager to invite someone back who - as far as he knows - clearly very personally hates him, and has leaked information about someone he supposedly liked and respected that he was told in confidence to cause targeted harm to that person… when he just came out within a trusted organization with no intention of coming out publicly??? like no matter how this show tries to shorthand that everything is OK now, because they put no work into reestablishing trust… there is no way colin would take his safety as 100% guaranteed in this situation, and him being the person to insist on talking to nate doesn't shorthand that away!!!

like for me, this mismatch stands out as some fucking straight nonsense again bc you cannot use the horrifically queerphobic atmosphere in and around professional men's football irl for your very special episode and then just never address the personal vindictiveness involved in the character dynamic that was created between nate and colin previously, especially in the face of seeding the idea that someone would be afraid to come out to their trusted best friend because of the 1% chance the casual homophobia they tossed around was indicative of their actual beliefs.

and like ok the tendency of this show to just use experiences that reflect stuff of incredible real life consequence without considering the context or implications is already established. i get it. but like this is just another example of how by not actually engaging with the full consequences of the experiences they're capitalizing on, they've not done justice to any of the characters or representative stories involved.

the reconciliation between nate and the team had such great potential to bring out everyone's issues and have a real chewy resolution! nate getting tossed back into the rupertsphere and seeing the manipulative bullying inherent to rupert's concept of power, and consequently really understanding how that created the environment mirrored in the team's treatment of him, and how he held on to that concept of power and mirrored it back in vindictiveness.

maybe if they brought forward the bex and ms. kakes story to play out earlier (during one of these insanely bloated episodes), and if nate is tied in with letting them both know what was happening with rupert, the two women going to rebecca for advice could have been something that one of the players found out about (idk overhearing rebecca asking keeley for press/legal advice while passing her office or smth). that could have precipitated a conversation among the team that we were actually privy to about how nate stood up to rupert, put whole ass career on the line to protect people being deeply wronged instead of cozy up to power, and did it without publicly Exposing Their Business in order to get public kudos.

that conversation could have been the perfect way to get the team to understand nate's growth from what he did to ted by revealing and having them work through the implications of nates willingness to put protecting people from being harmed above his own need for power and validation, while also protecting their privacy and not seeking public validation at their expense! colin could have had a part in that conversation that both brought his queerness back into the story as something of actual consequence and not just a token feel-good moment, and it could have showed why the team would trust nate enough to hold a vote to ask him to come back to richmond while also showing the audience that the team has truly grown from its unhinged emotional reaction during the west ham match, and not just because they lost a game bc of it!

like idk man this just isn't good enough for me. this whole thing just isn't good enough for me, especially because they've made the implications and the stakes so fucking high by bringing in the incredibly consequential social issues they have. nothing feels earned, and everything feels cheap and flimsy because of it! everything from the journey we deserved to go on with all of these characters, to the seriousness and respect with which the show has treated the experiences they've profited off of, to the patronizing chintz of the last minute emotion-bombs being tossed to us as good enough wallpaper over the structural cracks we're meant to ignore.

[siswritesyanderes]

This is a series of asks bc, while I do LIKE all the charas of Fantastic Beasts individually, much of the romantic pairings dont sit well with me. By that mean the messy love polygon w Newt & I think I finally figured out why & I'd like another's opinion on it. For starters, Newt's attraction with Tina is too fast for me considering he was friends w Leta, got expelled out of Hogwarts for Leta, carried Leta's photo in his case, & basically loved her for YEARS. But this is all undone by a [1]

jaunt in NY having met a woman, who he admittedly went on a huge adventure w, over the course of maybe a few weeks. He's so taken w her she replaces Leta's photo w her own &, after refusing to go to Paris for Dumbledore, leaves immediately once he finds out she's there. I just find this unbelievable. I can rationalize it from Newt's perspective where Tina is a fresh breeze sweeping into his life on (percieved) unrequited pining, but this is my conjecture based on my understanding of Newt. [2]

The audience shouldnt be left to rationalize endgame couple of the mc on their own. & the whole thing w Leta is so messily handled I dont think they can save it even if they bring her back in FB3. How she feels for Newt vs Theseus & unresolved lingering affection, etc. She & Newt were SO important to each other & we SEE that & they dont HAVE to get together, but they need proper resolution bc they have actual history between them. God Leta in general deserved so much better. [3]

But my main gripe is that this love polygon serves no purpose to what I believe is the main selling point of FB: the world. HP having love stories makes sense bc we're following the story of a boy as he goes through adolescence & his journey through that via school is part of that, which is why the romance feels fitting. It's a very personal story. FB on the otherhand is the best peak we have at the wider wizarding world beyond school. HP introduces the world of magic, but FB rlly expands it [4]

To that end Jakob & Queenie's relationship is the only one I find myself liking, bc it's deeply tied to the world setting, the series' biggest selling point (in my opinion, should have said this earlier). It underscores the attitudes of the period & the conflict they face feels suitably substantial & not like filler. There's a moral question between them of are they worth it? And how far should they go to be together?

Imma be real hear & say FB2 was rlly Queenie's movie & they should have been ballsy & just make Queenie the mc for FB2, bc her story was actually considerably more important to the overall development of the story than Newt's, which mostly came off as a rushed & a tad clichè soap drama. & making it about Queenie I think builds more room for good conflict & independent narrative for Tina that would serve her chara better. [5? 6?]

If I bad to be REAL ballsy, I'd say my big issue w/ the relationships in the FB series & how it enhances or impedes the main story & what I believe to be it's biggest attracter (the setting) could have been solved if they made Newt's romantic interest a muggle. It attaches a deeper meaning & relevance to them & the story so it felt more deeply that they truly moved WITH the narrative rather than beside it but I guess Im just picky. Thx for putting up w this! [Final]

(My response below the cut.)

Yeah, pretty much all of this is right.

Regarding the Tina thing, it was definitely rushed, especially since there was literally nothing romantic between them in the whole first movie, except maybe the end part where they're stumbling over their words. Despite knowing how movies work and knowing that they were the male and female lead, I still found that completely out of left field, because they don't really share any interests and I didn't feel like they felt anything in particular for each other before that. She really wants to be an auror and feels really intensely about it; he just wants to travel the world and write about magical creatures and take care of them. I don't see a lot of compatibility there, and the movie didn't really do anything to reconcile that gap.

Jacob and Queenie made sense, because they actually sowed some seeds for it. It's not even about the fact that they both like to cook; they showed an interest in each other throughout. They noticeably like each other. Newt and Tina never really had that, to me, so it was bizarre for her to become his primary motivation in the second movie.

Queenie's trajectory in movie 2 overall bothers me, so while I agree it would have been better if they'd centered it more around her, I definitely think they needed to drastically rewrite pretty much everything she did. Enchanting Jacob at the beginning never sat well with me; I usually only have to say this in the Descendants fandom, but if one half of the ship is magical and the other half isn't, we can't have the magical one enchanting the non-magical one for romantic reasons without addressing what a violation of trust that is. Like, Jacob would be justified for never trusting her again, over that. Also, the fact that she apparently holds it against people if they think bad things about her is not something I would expect from someone who has been a Legilimens as long as she has, and not a detail I like, at all. Especially since it was used to give her justification to be mad at Jacob after she enchanted him in the first place. I find it sad, because Queenie was definitely my favorite character in the first movie. (Also, joining Grindelwald was a nonsensical thing to do. I can only assume she's there to spy on him or something, because it makes literally no sense.)

As for Leta, I really don't like how that was approached. First of all, I don't like how their mention of her in the first movie was "She was a taker; you need a giver," because once we actually met the character, that only made me resent Queenie for representing her that way. Leta deserved better in pretty much every way, and they definitely shouldn't have killed her off like that. I find the whole situation really iffy from a racial standpoint. The first black character to be written three-dimensionally in all of HP lore, and they make sure to preemptively tell the audience that she's a "taker", kill her in the same movie we meet her, and manage to trivialize her death by turning it into a little "Who was she saying 'I love you' to?" mystery. I like her relationship with Newt and Theseus, and I'd definitely want to see more of it.

Yes, it definitely would have been better, thematically, if they'd made the love interest a Muggle. (I'd honestly say they should've paired Newt with Jacob, but I know they're unwilling to do that. That would be kind of cool, though, to see the movie shaping up with two male characters and two female characters and have the men end up with each other and the women just live their lives as humans.)

With the story they ended up telling, though, I don't think that is needed; since Queenie is already dealing with the wizard/Muggle storyline, Newt could have a different conflict. Maybe his love interest should be a werewolf or something, to tie in the wizarding world's unresolved dislike for "half-breeds". And if he were in a relationship with someone already regarded as a creature, the wider wizarding world might take a different view to his studies and look down on him a lot more. Idk, a thought.

And then, with Leta/Theseus and Grindelwald/Dumbledore (if they were willing to actually deal with that), they'd pretty much hit every controversial beat they've got: wizard/Muggle, wizard/"half-breed", interracial, homosexual. Credence and Nagini are both creatures, kind of, but I still like them together, so their relationship doesn't have to tie into any theme; it just has to be developed way more.

On the whole, Crimes of Grindelwald felt like they skipped a movie. It feels like they needed a middle installment to make these relationships happen, instead of jumping from "Do Newt and Tina maybe have feelings for each other?" to "Newt loves Tina and Tina is possessive enough of Newt to be outwardly upset with him when she thinks he's engaged to someone else," and creating a whole relationship between Credence and Nagini that we see none of.

The fact that Queenie and Jacob were done well in the first movie gives me a fair amount of goodwill for them, but that goodwill only offers enough cushioning from the botching that movie 2 did that I'm near-indifferent to the ship, now, instead of actively opposed. I'd like to see things improved, but as it currently stands, I'd be just as happy seeing them end up not together as together. The fact that Leta's relationships with Newt and Theseus were more interesting than any of the aforementioned makes it that much more ridiculous that they killed her. What ship am I supposed to care about how? If I can't go into the next movie delusionally hoping Newt and Leta will get some moments, or enjoying the Theseus and Leta content, then I'll just be sitting there waiting for Credence and Nagini to share a screen, and who knows when that'll happen?

[girloikawa]

gay book recs for these desperate times (they all need more rep so here I am)

The Last True Poets of the Sea Violet goes to visit her mom’s family home, the one she’s made memories with her brother in, in order to become less visible. To disappear from the flashy life that she led in New York—and all the guilt from her brother’s hospitalization. However, while humbling in the aquarium, she meets Orion. A beautiful boy who introduces her to Liv, the girl who wants to find the shipwreck Violet’s ancestor survived. While ships are being discovered, Violet also uncovers truth in her family and finds love. My opinion: Orion was adorable. Also I lived for the friend dynamic.

In Other Lands Elliot gets recruited into this magical land where harpies, mermaids, elves, and other magical creatures exist to go to school at a border camp. There’s two routes—Brains or Brawn. Elliot, being the avid anti-social boi he is, goes with brains. While getting situated, he meets Serene, the most beautiful elven girl he’s ever seen, who is a conqueror on the battle fields and in the books. With Serene, though, comes Luke. He’s perfect, which is exactly why Elliot hates him. If he wants Serene, though, he gets Luke, so the three of them fight (or in Elliot’s case, write treaties) their way to peace. It’s full of wit and sarcasm and getting love wrong and, maybe, getting love right. My opinion: I fucking love this book so, so much. I read it the other day and it’s definitely one of my favorites. 10/10

The Starless Sea Zachary Ezra Rawlins finds a book. A very strange, very old book that just so happens to be a hot-spot for a lot of very strange, (possibly) very old people. With a book and a target on his back, Zachary scavenges for the meaning of the book and somehow finds a whole world of books in the labyrinths along the shores of the Starless Sea. Along with the library, there’s Mirabell, a painter who’s life revolves around keeping the mystical place open; Dorian, a handsome storyteller who doesn’t like shoes; a whole world of stories that may have actually happened; and lots of cats. Navigating reality and fiction, Zachary looses himself in the Starless Sea, quite literally and figuratively. My Goddamn Opinion on This Masterpiece: well fuck. There’s a lot of story, but that’s kinda the point. It’s magical so read it asap.

They Both Die at the End Mateo and Rufus are both going to die. They’ve been called and told so, so they must make amends with death—or, with life. Having nobody to spring this on, Mateo turns to the Last Friends app. Having lost all the people he could turn to in one night, all because of his stupid mistake, Rufus turns to the Last Friends app. They find each other, less than 24 hours before their death’s, and decide that they should go out with a bang. Not a literal bang, though. That’s exactly what’s to be avoided. Teetering on the edge of truly living and stretching out their last day, Mateo and Rufus find friendship and so, so much more. My opinion: I read it last night. My heart is not there. It’s on a boat with pynch or snowbaz being happy. Fair warning, you will cry. Still sad. Rip me 2020

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue Henry “Monty” Montague wants an adventure before his life begins. When his Grand Tour of Europe comes around, Monty makes the most of it. With his best friend and secret crush, Percy, and his annoying, little sister, Monty discovers Europe, what it’s like to live in some Not So Great conditions, and how to be a better person. You know what everyone says, eighteenth century Europe is a great place to fall in love and get chased down for being a douche. My Opinion: very glad for the character development, it was much needed. Book was pretty good. Don’t remember too much, except rlly loving it and reading it during an earthquake. Sorry if the description isn’t good, read it awhile ago.

The Song of Achilles The book follows Patroclus as he grows up. Beginning around where his father exiled him and ending with his burial. It goes through his relationship with Achilles, the star of the Trojan War, and their bond beyond that of friends. My Opinion: a lot of people loved this book. So many. It’s really good. A lot of people talked of how it made them cry n stuff. Shockingly, my baby ass didn’t really cry much. I loved the story, though. Don’t know what happened. (Read it tho, you won’t regret it.) (Also sorry it’s not much of a description, it’s just that I felt weird writing a description of it.)

Also the obvious ones that I won’t explain bc they’re popular enough: Carry On & Wayward Son; The Raven Cycle & The Dreamer Trilogy; All For the Game series; Red, White, & Royal Blue; Simon Vs the Homo Sapians Agenda; Six of Crows & Crooked Kingdom. (If you’ve liked any of these, you will most likely like the ones that I have descriptions of.)

[dyketectivecomics]

tell us about the roller derby AU!! <3

(tysm anon bc this got me to get my ass in gear abt actually writing it all down fdskl;fjla ALSO shout out to zom for leaving a reply <3 ty both omg)

OKAY, first things first. This started bc I was thinking abt the Sirens doing Derby together (OBVIOUSLY Harleys idea) BUT 3 players isn’t enough for a team (you need 3 blockers, a pivot and a jammer afterall) so this team HINGES on the fact that GCS had that brief team-up with Talia and Zatanna and the pure Chaos of them permanently joining the sirens in the mainverse is something I want to explore sometime in the future but ANYWAYS they also need a team to play against and I’m Nothing if not Consistent so OFC this is Sirens vs Birds

cue Same Age-Range College Setting, Roller Derby Focus AU. Everyone’s attending Uni at Gotham State and yes I have majors in mind too, for the Sirens we got undergrads Harley: Psych, Ivy: Botany, Selina: Art History, Talia: Anthropology, Zatanna: Theater. For the Birds, (grad student she’s fast-tracking) Babs: library science, (undergrads) Dinah: Music, Helena: Undeclared, Zinda: doesn’t actually Go Here lmao

now u might be saying “wait a min randy, that’s only four birds. DIDNT u JUST say u need 5 players for a team?” And yes. Yes I did. The Birds is actually a BIGGER team than the Sirens and includes anyone who has ever been on the BoP team ever. They’re all here! And there’s a lot of them that rotate in and out of the roster but for the sake of simplicity we’ll focus on those four as Main members.

So let’s talk positions, play style & other stuff!

so Harley is the Jammer, don’t fix what isn’t broken. I like the idea of Talia being the Pivot bc ofc she’d want to be in charge. Which leaves Ivy, Selina & Zee as the blockers

 YES Selina plays damn near as dirty as Harley does lmao. In fact if we rank them by how often they play Renegade vs Regulation, you’ve got, Harley, Selina, Talia, Ivy (all at varying degrees of being FAR at the renegade-end of the spectrum) and Zee is more like just Right of center in favor of Regulation (but not above elbowing an opponent or ‘accidentally’ tripping them up if they’re REALLY close to winning) 

Derby names MOSTLY follow their costumed personas, like Poison Ivy and Catwoman, but then there’s also Gnarley Quinn (currently taking suggestions for Zee n Talia tho bc... well they DONT have names other than their own really lmao)

For the Birds, Zinda is the Jammer, Dinah is the pivot, Helena is a blocker, Babs is actually the team manager & former pivot. Harley gave her a BAD injury during an end-of-season bout and kicks off the rivalry btwn the teams at the start of the plot. (Other birds in the rotation play blockers and jammers as needed. Helena will step up as pivot if Dinah can’t make a bout)

All the Birds PRACTICE regulation derby but....  well, when you put on your skates and the ref blows the whistle, what happens next can’t be helped (but esp after babs’ injury if its a Sirens vs Birds bout they’re out for BLOOD)

Yes their derby names are the same as their hero names, and yes ppl still call Babs Oracle even tho she doesn’t put on the skates as much even after her knee heals

Outfits and Skates:

okay, so OBVSLY zee & dinah are still VERY much the Fishnet Queens™, but i can totally see Harley, Selina & Zinda joining them. can’t have derby w/o SOME ppl wearing fishnets after all fjldka;s

also i know that derby’s sometimes a bit more butch and some ppl take issue with Zinda’s miniskirt but listen i am GAY and a SUCKER for vintage inspired looks and really? skirts and skates go hand in hand BEAUTIFULLY. the skirt STAYS for zinda

actually im a sucker for bombshells!Ivy’s dresses too, i know the big fandom push has been towards making her more butch but LISTEN.

wait, do i actually just want to see Bombshells on skates is that what all this is about. im gonna scre-

everyone else’s looks im still trying to figure out in my own brain but tbh, any artists out there who feel like doing their own spin on superhero inspired looks for these guys im *eyes emojis* would LOVE to see that actually would love to see that A LOT

imagine everyone color-coding their wheels, though, omg i need that

outside of derby i think Harley & Dinah would be rlly into jam/rhythm skating, Zee, Selina & Talia would like artistic skating, and Helena & Zinda would be into speed skating. Ivy and Babs like supporting their friends & esp their gfs but actually they’re trying rlly hard not to show them up bc theyre both pretty good at jam/rhythm themselves fjdkls

Now for the Extra Relationship Stuff:

Obvsly almost all of the sirens have dated each other at some point. Whether in the past or over the course of going to uni together. Cue even More Drama when Talia and Selina break up and Both start pursuing soon-to-be-drop-out Bruce (the dropping out is unrelated to the drama itself but I just think it’s funny if even in an AU setting Bruce drops out of college aksjak)

also listen ever since i read those GCS issues with Talia and Zee I’ve NEEDED to see Selina/Talia/Zee so so so badly. its my AU and its happening some fucking how i’ll make it work shut uppppp

Also I’m gonna throw in some real slowburn HarlIvy bc once again it’s MY AU AND I DO WHAT I WANT.

Yes Dinah and Zee become star-crossed/rival-to-lovers in this. Havent actually decided which way I wanna go bc starcrossed is Fun, but rivals gives me DRAMA and with them both being diff arts majors could Add to that aksj

the Birds marginally have their dynamics together better than the Sirens, but every so often there’s some communication issues bc yes, we need all the Drama in this!!! I demand it!!!

So yeah, if/when I ever plot this out, it would be something with equal focus on changing relationship and team dynamics, and then focus on how well each of the teams are doing leading up to the Big Bout where the Birds are out to Avenge Oracle. And do they succeed? I guess you’d have to read to find out lmao

Coming to a fanfic site near you...... eventually.......

[inctlife]

heyyyyy gemma!

wanted to come on and update bc i'm a lil lightheaded rn

final day of return to play protocol for my concussion, i can finally play let's get it woohoo!!!

i worked out a lot today, and honestly first full workout of 6 months (lil gasp over here) but i also have breathing issues so it wasn't a great day today

really really lightheaded and nauseas, couldn't even walk-

but my trainer just said it was cool and let me go lmao

freedom !

I GET TO PLAY STARTING TMRW SDKJFKLDFJKDJFL

also like scrolling all the way back to my acc reveal ask, the only reason you probably forgot to answer my ask was probs bc you followed me on your dad!treasure acc! idk who treasure is but should i stan ??

anyways PLS YOUR DAD MARKING THE YEEHAW EMOJI IS SO CUTE djfkSdjfkdjls my dad doesn't even text me anymore, he just looks at my kakaotalk pf occasionally and questions my status (it currently states "babo" which is idiot which is me)

and yes, i am american, i go to an american school but currently my parents are thinking about sending me korea :w kinda scared, school is rlly uptight over there

^ ig i can persue singing and lyric writing gASP MAYBE I'LL BE A KPOP IDOL (who am i kidding lmao, anyways see yall in a few years jkjk)

^^ pls tell me cognitive ways depression can develop, i have anxiety + depressive moments and my mom wonders how her bright child became such an introverted ambivert with social anxiety

YES QOTD LES GOOOO

honestly idk if i asked this question but biases? pet vs?

my pet bias HAS to be queen daegal. i'll never love chenle ever again after the freaking haircut incident

i hope she has a wonderful wedding with haechan my man, kinda looking forward to the yt video

ALSO ALSO ALSO hot sauce album FULL ALBUM DREAM KSDKFEKKEKEKEKkKJKDSJFS pLS i can't i'm so excited? to jam? kAHHHHH

i gtg to bed tho, it's already 12 am

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT

running away to jam to svt "left and right" again for the 13th time

-eggers (wow what a long ask dafuq)

wow!! hi eggy!! lmaooo this is so long! (thats what she said)

okay first of all, please take care of yourself eggy ajsjdjdjdjdjksjskalar you’re recovering from a concussion AND you have breathing problems???? take care!!!!😭😭 hopefully you’re not feeling so nauseous anymore!!!

and yes that is true!! and YES i love treasure!! i was waiting for their debut for like four years lmaooo they’re under yg but they dont have a total yg feel yk???? they’re pretty cool and are really entertaining!!! (you should watch their show - treasure map!!)

why are so many of you being sent to korea ajshskdjkddh hopefully it’ll go well!! i’m sure you’ll smash it whatever

(also snap,, i have anxiety and depression as well😎 and idk i’m on holiday atm so i cant remember anything from school hahahahaha)

PET BIAS i also love daegal but bella takes the crown tbh,,, she’s so funny

GOOD NIGHT EGGY take care of yourself😠🤧😚

[getthembees]

I was tagged by @lantur !! Tysm!!!

Nicknames: I actually have a lot of nicknames irl (and probably too many to list). I think the most popular one rn is Grits or Gret (and on my track team it’s Gert). I don’t have one for tumblr really except some people have called me Ann (which is funny bc Ann isn’t my name HAHA)

Zodiac sign: Virgo

Height: 5’5

Last thing I googled: “vector vs scalar” (I was in physics class)

Song stuck in my head: ‘The Angry River’ by The Hat from the show true detective has been living in my head rent free a couple days now

Number of followers: 219

Amount of sleep: last night I got like 7.5 hours and I usually take a long nap everyday lol.

Lucky number: don’t have one! Usually I’d just pick my birthday number but it’s 13 which is an unlucky number 😔

Favorite song: Little Pistol by Mother Mother. Fave song from my fave band. I also really love The Other Side of Paradise by Glass Animals. Honestly try fave song changes a lot to whatever song makes me pace around my house listening to it on repeat for hours but these two are pretty consistent in making me do that.

Favorite instrument: I’m a percussionist in my school band so my fave instruments are the ones that like aren’t even instruments they’re just funky little tools for whatever piece we’re doing (in this case I played an anvil and hammer and it was the highlight of the year lol). But in terms of actual instruments probably marimba or piano.

Favorite author: this is hard because I don’t really have any? If I had to choose maybe Anthony Doerr (his writing style is very pretty) or Leigh Bardugo (world building and dialogue are super interesting)

Dream job: something with writing. An author ... mayhaps

Aesthetic: idk if this means aesthetic I like or aesthetic I have. So I’ll do the ones I like (I don’t rlly have an aesthetic rip) but I like a lot of outside aesthetic things? Like summer nights w/ lamplight, foggy autumn days, sitting on the porch during misty rain. Stuff like that I enjoy a lot. Idk if these are aesthetics but.

Favorite animal noise: my cat Luna’s little meow whimper thing she does. She doesn’t fully meow she like .... meeps. And it’s rlly cute. I also like bird noises

Random: I did a mile time trial for track yesterday and my coach said he’d give me 25$ if I beat this guys time on my team who ran yesterday (we r doing hybrid learning so the team is split depending on name) and he ran a 5:40 mile so I was like ok I can do that if I rlly push. N e way I ended up missing it by 9 seconds and didn’t get the 25 bucks :(. Also I haven’t done speed work since quarantine so that’s the fastest I’ve run in six months and I forgot that sprinting makes your sides sore more than ur legs and I went to crouch down and pick smth up and fell over bc it hurt so much 😔.

I’m gonna tag @meridianheroine @genma-shiranui @borkthemork and anyone else who sees and wants to do it!!