#and while we both changed a lot since then

[beautifullilacsky]

It's been a while since I wrote about you. Not because I haven't missed you or didn't have good things to say; it's because it's been so, so incredibly good. There is too much for me to say. There have been too many moments that I'd like to write down for me to remember for a lifetime. We came back from our first vacation together, and gad, I have never been more sure about you.

By switching to the other side of the sidewalk so you were the one closer to the road, you made me feel safe. Wearing your 'emergency pants', in case you needed to move the van when the wind was too much for me (which, it was, and you moved the van without a wrinkle or hint of annoyance in your face), you made me feel cared for. Just like all the times you asked me if I was okay. You made me feel heard and made me feel like you truly wanted to understand and hear me, when you asked me how the vacay is going. What our further wishes are and if we want to change anything. You made me feel important and like a princess when you drove around half of the island, just to find a souvenir that I really wanted (even if you usually don't do souvenir hunts). Every single day, you made me feel so good. All of the full body cuddling at night, almost forming a blanket the way you folded yourself all around me. All of the caring during the day. All of the communicating and comfortable silences. The amount of planning you have done, making sure we arrive there and back home safely and that we can "haal het beste uit" our vacation. Knowing I am uncomfortable with manuals and especially a van, you drove all of the time; even if at times, it was stressful as shit. And, everything that came with living in a van; you emptied our water, refilled it, dusted the inside, checked the difficult-closing door, cooking, and did a lot of the dishes.

All the times I asked you to pose a certain way for a picture, you did exactly that. On hikes, you would ask me if the speed was okay, or, like you did most of the time, you'd let me in front. That way, I could go my own speed and you'd be sure that I felt comfi and good. The cute smiles when I said something to Beertje; how I adore and feel so so safe when you like seeing the child inside of me. Ha, the way you went back to souvenir stores with me as I regretting not buying something, while once again, not being annoyed at all. Also, how you paid for my toilet visit twice, knowing I don't carry around 50 cents. It's not expensive, but I know you'd never pay for a toilet like that. But if I really needed and wanted to, you gave me the moneys and always told me to take my time. The way you always let me play whatever music I would like to hear; is that something meaningful that I have overseen every single time (by thinking you just vibe with everything)?

My baby. I can't even describe it in words properly. You truly treated me like a princess. You asked me if u don't always do so. I had no choice but to take my blinding sunnies off during this vacation, seeing how well you treat me. In day to day life, it shines less bright. Now, I couldn't miss it, not even if I closed my eyes during the whole vacation.

One thing I will never ever forget. The 25th birthday you gifted me. You first gifted me a go-pro, which you had named "Renee s vlog camera". It's a typical niklas gift; useful. And damn, even if I was a bit overwhelmed with what it could do at the beginning, I friggin love it. We got to use it sooo many times during the vacay, and I am thrilled that we got to use it in those ways. I am sure there will be more times that I use it, which I am v excited for. And of course, the way you made sure that we got to do what I wanted to for my bday (a hike, an easy one to start with, which,,,, was harder than we had planned but you made sure that I was okay the whole time and we turned around when we both felt like it was a good time). And later, the whale 🐋 dolphin 🐬 watching in Funchal... (where we also looked at the doors I wanted to see, hiked up to a garden u thought I wanted to see, just to take a cable car to the actual palace where I wanted to go to (even if it sounded boring to u to go to a palace), and we ate at such a lovely restaurant, even twice!). Bro. Never will I ever forget the first time you said "I love you too". I was so deep into my feelings, I bit your arm. Yet, that wasn't enough to calm the roaring feeling inside of me. The one that was banging at the bottom of my throat, begging me to say the words. So. I did. "Don't say it back, but I love you so friggin much. Thank you so much for this.... I love you". I felt a weight falll of of my shoulders, as I put my head onto yours. Right there and then, even if I couldn't make it out a 100% over the sound of the waves, the motor from the boat, and the peace that had fallen over me, you said it. "I love you too". My head instantly bounced up: "what?!" I smile, as you also laugh and point out the sharks that you just spotted. Typical Niklas, talking about sharks when he wants to change to topic. Though, it doesn't change the fact that you said it back to me. And even if you are still debating what it means to love someone, maybe you felt the same way that I did right there, on the two front seats of this boat. There wasn't a way for me to explain why I felt the way I did. I just know. For me, it doesn't have to be based on facts. "Okay, so, I really appreciate what he did for me and I feel super safe, appreciated and good. So, in convlusion, that must mean that I love him". I am more of the feeling type. I felt overwhelmed by love for you right there and then. Maybe you felt the same, and told me that you love me too, even if you aren't factually sure that that means. Either way. I will remember you saying it. 24th of October, 3 days after my bday and 8 days before our one year anniversary. I know you only say things you mean, and if you didn't want to say it back, I gave you the options. "Don't say it back", I said the first time that I said I love you. After a short second, I said it again, and even if I didn't realize it, gave you the opportunity to say it back to me. Might not be that big of a deal to you, but as you might know, lol, it is a pretty big deal to me.

So. Baby. It seems impossible to word. But damn. You treated me like a princess. And Gash. I love you, so, so friggin much. No words. I am excited to spend so much more time with you in our future. Endless kisses to you, my love.

emilie.hofferber

[bxnfire]

Lines Blurred || Satoru Gojo

✎ synopsis: Heartbroken after dating “the boy of your dreams” you’re looking towards living a new life, one with new people and possibly new experiences, except the light hearted fun you hoped for became something stronger than that

✎ warnings/content: smut, fluff, tiiiny bit of angst, fingering, oral (both receiving), p in v, fwb, pet names, college!au

✎ a/n: this is my first ever fic!! english is not my first language, so please excuse any faulty grammar. please lmk if you have any suggestions or comments, they’d help a lot ❤️

✎ part 2 here

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏMINORS DNI ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏ

It had been 3 months since your last relationship ended. You dated one of your closest friends, and tauntingly enough, he was also in your friend group. Having spent your summer heartbroken and trying to move past things, if you were certain of anything it was that you wanted to spend the least amount of time in his presence, something near impossible if you also wanted to be around your friend group, therefore, you decided it was time for a change.

You had been friends with Shoko for a while, but didn’t really know her friends nor hung around her much, and seeing how she got you through your heart ache you decided it’d be a good idea to stick to her.

💬 Shoko ❤️: you comin w us for lunch?

💬 You: sure thing!

You were nervous. Geto seemed so hard to read, you wondered if he’d be annoyed by your presence, and you didn’t know Gojo at all. Would they like you? Would they make you wish you were back with your other friends? Would they welcome you like Shoko did?

All your questions suddenly coming to a stop when you felt someone bump into you.

“My bad! I got caught up playing ball over there, please let me know if I hurt you,” said an energetic but apologetic voice. As you turned to look at the speaker, you noticed you were met with his chest instead, and looking up at him, you realized it was none other than Satoru Gojo.

“No worries! You just caught me off guard, but I’m good,” you said reassuringly.

“Wait! Aren’t you Shoko’s friend? What was it,” he hesitated, then said “Y/l/n, right?”

Surprised he knew about you at all, you unknowingly smiled at his recognition. “Yes, that’s me!”

“I remember her talking about you,” he smiled, “she said you were going through it. Is that true? Are you feeling better now?”

Embarrassment ran through you. As your cheeks turned pinker than usual, you scratched your head and replied “yes, that’s true. Luckily, I’m doing better, but as you’ve probably heard I’ll be hanging with you guys for now. I hope we can get acquainted soon!”

“Sure we will, see ya around Y/l/n!” He said as he ran off back into the field to play once again.

You didn’t know it yet, but in no time Gojo would be your door to a new world.

ˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏ

One month had passed, and Gojo was more than just your friend. It had started innocently enough, sending each other dumb reels, sharing snacks, and even studying together.

You found yourself enjoying your conversations with him more than you enjoyed anyone else’s. He was really easy to talk to, and was always there to lift you up and make you smile whenever you felt down. His easygoing nature making you feel at ease with him, something you realized you were missing more than you originally thought.

It was no secret that he was very attractive, his beautiful blue eyes every girl seemed to fall for surely had similar effects on you. His cocky confidence made him even more likable to you, was there anything this man couldn’t do? His build was also very attractive, not too muscular but still built enough to be easily noticeable whenever he hugged you or took his shirt off, something you found yourself treasuring more and more.

It was all friendly until one night the jokes started to change tone, and after a week of tension, and stolen glances, you finally had enough of his teasing.

💬 Gojo 🍰: y/l/n, do u think u could do this?

💬 Gojo 🍰: *VID*

💬You: oh please, that’s nothing. i’ve fit bigger things than that banana in my mouth before

💬 Gojo 🍰: oh is that so?

💬 You: yes 🤭

💬 Gojo 🍰: what if i don’t believe you?

💬 You: well in that case i’d have to convince you right?

💬 Gojo 🍰: and how would that be?

💬 You: come to my dorm and find out

Gojo was running. Unbeknownst to you, he had been into you for a while, even before you two officially met. He remembers the beginning of your sophomore year in college. You two had ethics together, and he remembers you as the kind girl who helped everyone around you. Anybody could come to you if they didn’t understand something, and indirectly, he’s learned a lot from you. Shit, you were the only reason why he passed that boof ass course. The only reason to keep him coming. In the halls, he’d gotten to see your humor. Playing silly pranks in your friends, hiding phones for fun, having sassy remarks ready whenever the time called for them, and how loudly, although cutely in his eyes, you laughed at your friends’ jokes.

In no time, he found himself easily picking out your voice from others, differentiating your laugh in a sea of noise, and noticing you whenever you were around. But oh, he really disliked your boyfriend. Not hated of course! Never that, he wasn’t a hateful person… Though if he were to be, he’d hate him. Your stupid boyfriend who didn’t do well in class and didn’t care enough to ask for your help, who believed anyone’s opinions about your relationship over yours, and who, in the end, preferred to spend time with anyone else but you.

In retrospective, he didn’t really hate your ex; if anything, he started to like him. After all, after he proved he was too shitty for you, you were smart enough to leave him, meaning Satoru finally had a chance with you. He was more than psyched when Shoko told him you were sticking around for a bit, something that didn’t go unnoticed by her, but she knew Satoru could do you better than your ex did, so she let it slide.

You, on the other hand, were a wreck. Letting your lust get the best of you didn’t let you truly think through what you were about to do. What if this screwed your newfound friendship over? What if he didn’t actually want you? What if…

Your thoughts were interrupted once again by Gojo, but this time it was through a text.

💬 Gojo 🍰: open ur door

Running to your door, you gave yourself a second to shake the nerves off before opening the door. There stood Gojo, so handsome even with his white hair messy from running and his clothes a little rustled, making it obvious he wanted to waste no time getting here. His smile, shy but curious, didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“You’re so goddamn thirsty,” you tell him, finding enough confidence to smile back.

“You don’t even know,” he whispers as he gets closer to you while shutting the door behind him.

Next thing you know, you’re pinned against the wall with his hands all over your body. His kisses are desperate yet gentle, as if he had been waiting for so long he was scared this was just a dream, one he didn’t dare wake up from. Flushing at that thought, you tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him even closer, something that ignited a fire in him.

Until he woke up and stopped. He pulled away for a second, looking into your confused eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Don’t get me wrong, I want to keep going, but I’d rather not make you uncomfortable ‘cause I know you may not be ready yet.”

This makes you smile. Couldn’t he tell how down bad you were for him? You truly found it sweet that he cared, but in that moment all you wanted was to have him down your throat. “I’m as ready as all I’ll ever be, unless you’re scared of course,” you reply, trying to bring back the mood.

“Scared? Baby you have no idea of how long I’ve waited for this, if anything, you should be scared of how desperately I want you,” and with that, he pulls you back in for a more passionate kiss.

Your response gave him the confidence to get bolder. His hands now ran under your shirt, every breath you took making them go a centimeter upper, until he eventually reached the hem of your bra. Shifting from your mouth to your neck, his kisses starting to get slower but more calculated, you started to moan at his touch, and in no time you felt something starting to poke your stomach. This made you even more flustered, and a familiar warmth pooled between your legs.

He picked you up and laid you down on your bed. Kissing your neck slowly, your whimpers get louder and louder as he presses him self against you, giving your soaking cunt well-received pressure.

Wanting to please him, you instinctively changed your positions so that you were on top of him and kissing down his body.

“Take this off,” you commanded.

“Who’s the thirsty one now?” He asked as he took his shirt off.

“Shut up. You came here so I could prove my point yeah?” You asked trying to hold on to you wavering confidence. His bulge was big, bigger than you would’ve thought it to be, but you were ready to take it, you wanted to taste him so bad.

Going over to him and taking his pants off, he stopped your hand from going further. You look up at him confused, wondering if you were doing something wrong.

“I want you to promise me something.” He said, looking deep into your eyes.

“And what would that be?” You asked, trying to guess what he could possibly be asking you.

“If you’re gonna show me your skills, it’s only fair I get to show you mine. Can’t let you one up me,” he said playfully, hoping you’ll let him in a little closer.

“Sounds good to me, but I don’t think you’ll be one upping me in any way,” you say, not wasting any time and going back to what you were doing.

Sliding down his underwear, his arousal sprung out, bigger and thicker than you thought it’d be. Giving it a few experimental strokes, your hand moved along his shaft trying to see what he liked, but to no avail, given that he was very reactive to all your touches, and this only encouraged you. Opting for leaving one hand at his balls and getting closer to him, you lick all over his dick.

Gojo is fucking losing it. He’s gripping the sides of your couch trying not to buck his hips into you. Who would’ve thought that all those late nights hopelessly scrolling through your profile stroking himself silly would eventually lead him to your bed were your mouth would finally replace his hands?

“F-Fuck, yeah, just like that,” he breathed out, lost in the feeling of your tongue deliciously swirling around his tip as you took him deeper in your mouth.

He started bucking his hips into your mouth soon after, gripping your hair and guiding your movements, fucking your face as he noticed how well you were taking it. As he was near the edge, he pulled your head away, once again leaving you confused.

“Why didn’t you let me finish the job?” You asked him almost mad, you wanted to see how he tasted.

“I want to make you cum first, told ya you won’t be one upping me tonight.”

“Oh really? You know I don’t need my mouth to make you cum right?” You say as you sit on his lap and start making out with him and put your hand to work. Since he was close not that long ago, you knew he’d be worked up enough to not take long to cum. Gojo was no longer kissing you as dominantly as before, having to take breaks to breathe and even moan under your touch.

Not even 10 minutes passed until he came all over your hand. Sticky ropes of cum shooting out coating your fingers, his abdomen, and your pants. Moving your hand to your mouth to suck his cum off your fingers, you look at him seductively. He wanted to be a brat and take control, but just watching you do that made him his dick throb once again.

Kissing you, now tasting himself in your mouth, he took your shirt off and tried to take your bra off. Inexperienced, he fumbled many times, which made you both laugh.

“Talk about one upping me and you can’t even take my bra off. What’s next, you won’t be able to find my clit?” You tease, doing the job for him.

“Oh please, let’s see who ends up begging for more by the end of the night,” he challenged, and for the first time, you realized you wouldn’t mind losing at all.

You were about to reply, but you realized he was no longer focused on your little banter. His eyes were glued to your bare chest, scanning every inch of your skin, wanting to remember everything for later, archive it in a special place in his brain.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says.

“You’re so fucking horny,” you reply, knowing better than to believe lust-filled words.

“I mean it! I’ve thought so even before we met,” he confessed, giving you no time to respond as he took one of your tits into his mouth while he played with the nipple in your other tit by rubbing it between his thumb and index finger.

Moans took over the room. Your smart mouth not shut, but rather occupied making progressively louder sounds in response to Gojo’s touch.

“Oh p-please G-Gojo!” You mewl, melting in his touch.

“Satoru.” He responds

“H-Huh?”

“Call me Satoru. You tried my nut, I think that’s enough to be on first name basis,” he joked, and in any other circumstance you would’ve laughed, but you were too caught up in the pleasure he was giving you.

“S-Satoru I-I need m-more!! Please give me more!!” You struggled to get out, but once you did, Satoru got to work quick pulling down your shorts and kissing down your torso to reach your thighs.

He licked, bit, and kissed around them, wanting to test how impatient you could get. It didn’t take you long to tug on his hair and pull him into you, his nose deliciously coming in contact with your soaked cunt, only the thin, wet fabric of your panties between you. Bringing one hand down to jerk himself while the other pulled your panties down to start kissing your sweet pussy, until he goes up to your clit and starts sucking it lightly, making sure you knew he was well aware of where it was and how to treat it.

His other hand reached up to your entrance and one digit started pumping into you. Your moans got louder and louder, and Satoru was wondering just how much longer he had until you were over the edge. Sticking in another digit and matching its curling pattern to the one inside made you start seeing stars, so lost in your own pleasure you couldn’t even manage to tell him you were about to come undone.

Eager to see you cry for him, all of a sudden he stopped, seeing your cute little flushed face with teary eyes look at him enraged.

“Why’d you stop?” You ask, forgetting all your pride and letting him know just how much he worked you up.

“Can’t have you wasting your arousal sweets. If you’re gonna cum, it better be all over my cock.” He said, waiting to see if he had fingered you dumb or if you had a smart remark for him.

“Then don’t fucking waste your time.” You replied, sitting on his dick and riding him to your own pleasure.

“S-Shit! You’re s-so big!” You moan, ecstasy reaching your system once again.

“This dick is all yours babe. Do as you p-please with me,” he replied, having a hard time keeping his composure as he watched your tits bounce in his face and feel you clenching his dick so fucking good.

It didn’t take you long to reach your climax, and seeing that you were unable to keep up with your own pace, Satoru took over and fucked you through your orgasm as he came closer and closer to his own. Pulling out in one quick motion, he came on your belly and kissed you as he did.

You both laid there quietly, trying to process everything that had just happened, not daring to say a word but also make a move away from each other. You were consumed in your thoughts until Satoru snaps you out of it.

“You impressed me sweets, you’re even sweeter than you look, and you take dick like a fuckin’ soldier,” he said as he caressed your face and you laughed with him.

“You’ve fucked a soldier before? Do those uniforms turn you on?” You reply playfully, happy that it’s almost like nothing has changed at all.

“Yes I have, she’s right in front of me, and I’ll need that soldier pussy putting me out of combat often,” he laughed as he said so, returning your energy as he always did.

You lay there naked just basking in each other’s presence, giving the bubble separating you from the rest of the world a little more time before bursting. Satoru ended up spending the night, but since he had a morning class the day after and you didn’t, he bought you breakfast before leaving your dorm.

You woke up to your favorite kind of coffee along with a butter croissant and a note in his unmistakable handwriting.

“Don’t miss me too much!! After lab is over I’m coming right back, so don’t leave juuust yet, I wanna see ya again ❤️

—Satoru”

Giggling, you sipped the drink as you recounted the events from last night, the memories flooding through and clouding your brain, making you genuinely wish he would come back soon.

Even then, after your daze was over, you really sat down to think of it all. Satoru was known for being a ladies’ man, could you just be another one of his conquests? You loved him, but you couldn’t stand to lose yet another friend due to your stupid feelings. Unsuspecting of his feelings for you, you decided to make it clear that you would just stay friends once he came back. Friends that were there for each other, but if the time came, friends that could call each other on those late, restless nights. This would be a sweet deal would it not? Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

Once Satoru came you acted normal. The usual banter between you two never failing to appear, but you could tell something had shifted. High fives or fist bumps were changed to hugs a little too long or kisses a little too intimate. Whenever people couldn’t see you, your usual friendly bickering turned into heated makeout sessions, always testing who gave into the other first.

Even if you placed the boundaries, ones that Satoru adhered to and respected almost religiously, you felt the dangerous beat of your heart whenever his name popped up on your phone or you happened to see him by chance. Once calling each other friends started to hurt, you knew you were screwed.

What you didn’t know though was how hurt he was too. How it pained him to have to hide his love for you all because he was scared you didn’t want to date him after all. He spent an awful lot of time dreaming of what it could be like if you were more than just friends with fucking benefits, if you would let him truly take care of you the way you deserved to be taken care of, if you could only give him a chance to prove that love, when good, is worth it after all. But he knew better than to push your limits, and so, he kept stealing glances, longing for your touch, and clinging to your little fuck sessions in hopes that one day, you’d see he had loved you all along.

[silhouetteonpaper]

In Celebration

Summary: You and Natasha have been questioning the boundaries between co-workers, friends, and maybe even something more. After a perfect day spent with her, she has a suprise second date that leaves you guessing. Unfortunately for you, it’s more than just a suprise. Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,409 Warnings/Themes: Fluff, reader has anxiety

“Thanks for adventuring out with me,” Natasha expressed as the two of you entered the compound. “I had a lot of fun.” She smirked, the same smile that had painted her face while you two were out exploring the city now creeping back up. You nodded once, more than happy to have accepted her invitation for a day out.

Was it a date? You weren’t quite sure, but you were eager to spend any time at all with the Widow. Ever since you joined the team a few months ago, your relationship had been left without labels. Sure you were both friendly, but she was also flirty. And you had no clue how to react, especially when Natasha had been on the team longer. You didn’t want to screw the opportunity up.

“Of course, thanks for the invite,” You rocked back and forth on your toes. “We should do it again sometime.” Natasha’s grin revealed itself, a single nod now being repeated back to you. As she turned on her feet to head back to her room, there was a pause as Natasha stopped in her tracks and faced you once more.

“Oh, and—“ Your eyes met, hers full of that desire you so desperately craved all for yourself. “Get changed into something nice. Meet me downstairs in thirty.” And just like that, she was gone. What the hell? Was that an invite to a second date? Two in one day had to be a new record for you. But before you had time to process her words, you were already following her orders and dressing in something more fitting.

A cocktail dress and heels, perfect for any dinner date, bar crawl, club dance, or night on the town. It was hard to contain the fluttering in your chest while you slipped into the new outfit, the possibilities of what the night could contain letting your mind run wild. What were Natasha’s intentions? You tried to prevent your imagination from getting the best of you, as you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

The thirty minutes dragged on too long for your liking, but eventually you were ready and waiting with bated breath. You’d fully fixed your hair and makeup on top of your new attire, prepared to dazzle the redhead for whatever the night would entail. And dazzle was right; the second Natasha met you in the hallway downstairs, she was speechless. That was rare for her, she always had something cunning to say. But her eyes were too busy looking you up and down to even think of something as trivial as words.

“Hey, what’d you have planned?” You asked cautiously, stepping over to meet her. She smirked again, but this time something more mischievous laid beneath her green eyes. She only grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours as she pulled you down the hall.

The sudden sound of chatter grew, mixed with the soft tune of music playing overhead. You furrowed your brow, unsure what could be lying out in the gallery. As you rounded the corner, your eyes went wide.

A banner reading Welcome to the Team! was strung across the floor to ceiling windows. Hundreds of people who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D in some way or another littered the open floor. Front and center was the team, watching your reaction with excitement; all with a drink in hand. Your eyes darted across the room, suddenly realizing that this wasn’t an intimate night with Natasha—the team was throwing you an official welcome party.

Unbeknownst to Natasha, you hated big gatherings—especially when they surrounded you. You never had a graduation party, hadn’t celebrated your birthday in ages, and even went out of your way to avoid crowded holiday events. But that was all before you worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. None of them had any idea you were this anxious around crowds.

You turned to face Natasha with a weary look. Her expression dropped the second she realized you weren’t surprised, and rather unsure about the party. “Natasha…” You trailed off, shaking your head. As much as you enjoyed small parties and little get togethers, organized events that made you the center of attention were your worst nightmare. But no one could’ve known that, so you felt guilty. They set this all up for you, and here you were wanting to crawl back into your bedroom and hide.

She quickly turned to the team waiting eagerly for you to come over. Holding up a finger to convey ‘one moment’, Natasha grabbed your wrist softly and guided you out into the hallway. The echoing chatter of the crowd died down as the air found your lungs again. You pressed yourself up against the cold marble wall with closed eyes, wincing as it all hit you.

“Hey,” Natasha’s voice grew closer; suddenly you felt her hand on your waist. “You don’t like crowds, do you?” It was less of a question and more of an informed guess, which the redhead likely already knew the answer to. It didn’t take a world-class agent to see how anxious the sudden surprise made you—which led you to feel even more self-conscious, because that was exactly what had happened.

You nodded, refusing to open your eyes in hopes the muffled sound of the crowd would disappear. She sighed, using her other hand to rub up and down your arm in comforting motions. You knew she wasn’t frustrated with you, but it didn’t matter; you were frustrated with yourself. “I’m sorry.” You spoke, finally opening your eyes to face the Widow with a concerned expression.

“Why are you sorry? I’m sorry, for springing this on you. I should’ve at least warned you.” She countered, almost defensively. Natasha wasn’t going to let you blame yourself for this. She understood the fear, especially when the room next door was full of America’s strongest soldiers.

You tilted your head to the side, eyes finding the floor as you processed. “I’d hate to ruin something you guys all planned for me. I really appreciate the gesture, I do… I just—“

“I know,” Natasha interrupted, her hand moving to caress your cheek. “You didn’t ruin anything, I promise. In fact… I have an idea.” She bit her lip, pausing for a moment before scurrying off into the gallery. You were left alone in the hall, a confused expression painted on your face while you sat in silence.

You could hear the chatter inside die down for a moment, some shuffling footsteps soon picking up and the music growing softer. Within minutes, Natasha’s heels clacked against the marble out into the hallway. She was smirking, her arm outstretched for yours to take.

“What…?” You questioned, hesitantly reaching out. She was silent, only guiding you back into the gallery. The second you walked in, it was hard to sustain your chuckle. It was quieter, this time the team was all facing away from you and conversing with one another. No one was looking at you waiting for a reaction. The banner was modified, now reading Welcome Team!, the former words in between obviously ripped out with haste.

You faced Natasha, finally letting yourself laugh as you hugged her. “Thank you, this is perfect.” The attention wasn’t on you, and you could still be a part of the fun. She made it work, just like she always does. Though for the first time, you saw her problem solve out of compassion—not just for work. The idea of her doing this just for you made you melt.

“Of course, we’re all proud of you. And, we all care about you. You’re part of the team now.” She held the embrace for a moment before pulling back to lock eyes with you. It took you both a few seconds before realizing you were just staring into each other’s gaze, craving the company you’d found in one another. But the party was waiting, and so were your friends.

You both walked up to the group, everyone deep in conversation by the time you arrived. “Oh, Y/N, I didn’t even know you were here.” Thor stated, earning an elbow in the side from Natasha as the group laughed. You joined in, grinning as you realized just how much everyone cared. They were all here to support you as a new team member and as a friend. As for Natasha, maybe even something more. And you couldn’t wait to find out where that would lead.

[nhlclover]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐊𝐈𝐃

madeleine chase x will smith

will goes on a podcast and reveals to the world his gushing crush on pop star, madeleine chase (wc; 1.11k)

༉‧₊˚. ꒰ notes! ꒱ this is lowkey inspired by how tate mcrae and cole sillinger first got together + what will said in a podcast about tate mcrae (literally every man is obsessed with her and so am i)

au masterlist

It had been about a week since Will had moved to San Jose and he was… settling. California was very different from Massachusetts and everything was new. From the weather to the people, everything was unfamiliar to Will. His teammates — another new thing Will was getting used to — had been nothing but welcoming. They had been showing him around the area and making sure he was settling in well—especially the Marleau family who were taking him in for his first year in San Jose.

He appreciated their efforts, even though the move was still overwhelming at times. The sunny, warm weather of California was a stark contrast to the often chilly and unpredictable climate of Massachusetts, and it was both a blessing and a challenge to adapt to. The culture here was more laid-back, and people seemed to carry an air of casualness that Will wasn’t entirely accustomed to.

In the midst of all these changes, he was dealing with the start of the hockey season, which brought on a lot of commitments. Despite today being a rest day from all of the beginning of the season media, Will was sitting in the Empty Netters podcast studio. Will had met Dan and Chris, the two hosts, a while back, promising them he’d come on when he got signed by the Sharks. Months later, Will was fulfilling his promise.

“Alright, Will, welcome to the Empty Netters pod! Glad to have you here,” said Chris.

“Thank you for having me,” Will said, smiling politely.

“So, you've been in San Jose for what—about two weeks? How’s the transition going? It’s gotta be a change from Massachusetts." Dan asked.

Will nodded, leaning into the mic a bit. “Yeah, about that but it feels like longer with everything going on. It’s been go, go, go since I got here but California’s great. And everyone’s been super welcoming, especially the Marleau family. They’ve really helped me get settled.”

Dan grinned. “Yeah, you got blessed with your living situation for your first year. I mean Patrick Marleau is a legend.”

“Not bad at all,” Will chuckled, relaxing a little. “They’ve been great. Showing me around, and introducing me to some good spots to eat. I’m trying to figure out the whole California lifestyle.”

The conversation flowed easily as they touched on his early career, what he was looking forward to with the Sharks and a few lighter topics.

“Okay, Will, to end this interview we just want to do some rapid-fire questions, alright? So these are just random.” Chris asked.

“Yeah, ok, sounds good,” Will replied.

“Great, first question,” Chris said, glancing at his notes. “What's your favorite movie?”

Will thought for a moment, debating between the movies he loved. “I'd have to say 'Good Will Hunting'. It's a classic and, well, it's set in Boston. Reminds me of home.”

Both Dan and Chris nodded appreciatively. “Nice choice,” Dan answered. “Alright, next up: what's your go-to comfort food?”

“Probably a good lobster roll,” Will replied instantly. “It's practically a staple back home.”

“A lobster roll from Cape Cod sounds fucking delicious.” Chris agreed.

“Alright, final question,” Dan says. “Who is your celebrity crush?”

“Madeleine Chase,” Will says without hesitation.

Both Dan and Chris burst into laughter at Will’s quick answer, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he realizes his eagerness. “Damn, you were ready for that question,” Chris says through laughter. “Can you expand on why she is your celebrity crush?”

Will chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I mean, first of all, she’s gorgeous. I keep seeing photos of her performing for Taylor Swift in Europe and… whew.” Will answers, getting another chorus of laughter from the podcast hosts. “But also there’s something about her vibe. She seems really down-to-earth and genuine. I’ve seen her in interviews and she’s got a great sense of humor.”

Dan grinned. “Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

“Yeah, maybe a bit,” Will admitted, laughing. “But, you know, it’s hard not to admire someone like that. She’s got the whole package.”

“Quick, favorite song of hers?” Chris asked.

Will didn’t have to think much before answering. “Close To You. It’s just such a fun song to listen to.”

“If you have a message for Madeleine that we might be able to get to her at some point, what would it be?” Dan asked.

Will chuckled, questioning if he really wanted to it all out bare on this podcast. “Answer my DM,” he said, confidence lacing his tone.

“No way you’ve DM’ed her.” Chris laughed.

Will simply shrugged, laughing along with the two brothers. Dan leaned in with mock seriousness. "Alright, Sharks fans, you heard it here first—Will Smith’s got game both on and off the ice."

As the podcast wrapped up, Will thanked Chris and Dan, and they walked him out. His agent was waiting, jumping straight into talking about his schedule, but Will wasn't really listening. He was still stuck replaying the last part of the interview in his head.

Did I really just say that? His mind replayed the last part of the interview—talking about Madeleine Chase with no filter, like some lovestruck kid. He cringed inwardly, imagining how it must have sounded to anyone listening. He could already hear the ribbing from his teammates once this went live, and he cringed. His agent's voice was just white noise now as Will’s thoughts spiraled, imagining the potential fallout.

Answer my DM. The words bounced around his head like an unwelcome reminder of how he’d opened himself up for a joke. What if she actually did hear it? He wasn’t sure what compelled him to be so bold, especially considering they didn’t know each other. Will had always been reserved, especially in public settings, and now he felt like he'd let his guard down too much.

“Will? You listening?” his agent said, snapping him out of his daze.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Will replied quickly, though he wasn’t. He pulled out his phone, hovering over the podcast's social media page. Maybe I can ask them to cut that part out… no, that’s ridiculous. It’s too late. He forced himself to put his phone away, trying to focus on anything else but the possibility of his comment blowing up online.

Will sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to shake off the doubt. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. They laughed, so it couldn’t have been too cringey… right?

Still, the uncertainty weighed on him. California was supposed to be a fresh start, but at that moment, Will couldn’t help but feel like he’d already stumbled out of the gate.

[dragonfly0808]

Tecna: The Thesis

This one has been a long time coming I know

First Things First

The first words I have for Tecna in my character profiles are tech nerd child, but she has so much more depth than that, even more than I’d ever originally planned

One of the things I really wanted to get across with Tecna is that is not and has never been an ice queen or unfeeling or cold, just bad with communication and her way of showing affection is atypical

While writing s1, I wrote her as autistic coded but was very hesitant to confirm her as autistic since I really did not want to accidentally write her autistic traits in an offensive or just misrepresentative way, but, after seeing my portrayl of her landed well with a lot of commenters who were part of the autistic community, I decided to do my research and properly commit to portraying her as autistic (whilst of course, never making it her full personality, just a part of who she is)

To me, Tecna is one of the most compelling characters to write, since she has a huge heart and holds a lot of love for her family and the Winx and, over the course of the seasons, we see her get better at communicating that whilst never forcing herself to conform or change to do it the ‘normal’ way

Family Matters

Aside from Riven, I think Tecna is the one who benefited the most from the changes I made to her family

I gave her a big sister and a little brother as well as loving parents who raised them all in a farm on the domestic side of Zenith, that focuses on farming and crops

After I committed to writing Tecna as autistic, I chose to portray nearly her entire family as neurodivergent, her dad is autistic and has ADHD, her mom has dyspraxia, her brother has ADHA as well as dyspraxia, her big sister being the only neurotypical one

The reason for this was because i wanted to portray her parents as always has taking Tecna’s needs/triggers into account and accommodate for all of their childrens needs and never try to change who they are; this is why from the get go, Tecna is unapologetic about who she is and what she needs, having never once been taught or pushed to mask.

Tecna in the OG always had a sense of absolute confidence and in my mind, giving her an understanding family who always embraced her as she was would be a great way of explaining why that is.

Also, I just really wanted to give her a loving, fluffy family since so many other families in the rewrite have issues and problems

SPOILERS FROM HERE FOR SEASON 3, THE OMEGA ARC AND SEASON 4 PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP!!!

A Frozen Loss

Now, from the moment I knew I was going to rewrite s3, I knew the Omega Arc was going to be one of the hardest and angstiest to write

i feel like both in the OG and in the fandom, Tecna can often be underrated and underused and I wanted to take the chance to show why I love this character so much and how she is an integral part of the group and there is no Winx without Tecna

In a sense, yes, Tecna is the brains of the group, she is the strategist and the one who comes up with a 27 step plan and the tech genius. But she is also the glue. She’s probably one of the most loved characters in the group, every single one of the girls and the boys have a very special and unique bond with Tecna, partially because of her odd way of showing affection and love

When Tecna cares about someone, she shows it even if she doesn’t always know how to say it, everyone knows it and loves her for it.

The Omega Arc also gave me a chance to show how resilient and smart Tecna is. Like I mentioned, she’s a strategist and a chronic overthinker and our girl doesn’t know how to back down, she’s determined and a survivor.

After the Omega Arc; surviving by herself for a week in a hostile planet and losing both her right leg and left hand, there is of course a huge shift in her character.

I chose to have her lose limbs to fully push how traumatic and life-changing the Omega Arc is not just to Tecna, but to all the Winx. After Omega, Tecna becomes a bit more comfortable with physical contact and starts to question her priorities and what she wants with her life… which leads us to-

Potential Can be Suffocating

One thing I thought I could do with Tecna was to have her shift her priorities when it comes to her plans for the future, going from being determined to be a buisness woman to realizing that she, while she still wants to be successful, it’s no longer all she wants

I think we all know how damaging hustle culture can be sometimes and, to incorporate smth a bit more personal, as someone who was always seen as ‘the smart one’/‘the one who’s gonna maintain us’ in the family amongst the cousins, I’ve felt the looming pressure of being the one in the family with the most ‘potential’. And as I’ve grown up, I’ve kinda realized that I don’t really want to throw myself into being solely dedicated to becoming this big buisness person like- obviously I want to be successful and be able to provide for myself, but I also want to have time for my writing and my family and myself, and I wanted to give this same kind of quiet realization to Tecna

For Tecna, it’s herself who puts on this pressure since, as a little girl she started seeing the modern side of Zenith as ‘superior’ in her mind and really wanted to leave the farm life to become exclusively focused on buisness, but as she grows up and, especially after Omega, she realized she wants to stay close to home and wants a quieter life, she still wants to be successful and to change the world, but it’s not all she wants anymore

Not sure if I explained that last point as well as I wanted to.

Thoughts Behind Her Main Relationships

Tecna

I love Tecna and Musa, they are very much a friendship between unconventional girls who don’t always come across as they mean to.

They both struggle to make friends for different reasons but the second they meet they realize that they are quite similar and so never push each other outside of their comfort zone at first and that’s what allows them to become close enough to then push one another.

Musa gets what makes Tecna tick and makes sure that she’s comfortable, she makes sure she gets her alone time and makes sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed.

Tecna gets that Musa doesn’t want to talk about herself so instead gets her to open up about her music.

And it’s through this that they start to trust one another and by s2 we see them knowing each other well enough to keep the other from spiraling.

When Tecna’s confused about her feelings for Timmy, it’s Musa who reminds her that it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship. And when Musa and Riven first kiss, it’s Tecna who suggests they take it slow since she knows how skittish they can both be.

At this point, they push one another when they need to.

They are crucial to each other’s growth.

Timmy

Now, my darlings, my softies, my introverted nerdy lovers

I know a lot of you were like- what the fuck do you mean they’re still not dating? Towards the start of s4 but I really wanted them to actually take their time before getting together

Timmy has a crush on Tecna since s1 and it’s in s2 where Tecna falls for Timmy slowly but surely, being a bit confused about her feelings since this is the first time she’s ever fallen in love. They have a talk and decide that neither are really ready for a relationship, Tecna because she’s still learning to communicate and just doesn’t feel ready in general, Timmy due to his anxiety and desire to work on himself before trying for a relationship

Once the feelings are out in the open, they are a lot less shy about being affectionate towards each other, since they know they’re headed for a relationship someday.

After Omega, any subtlety goes out the window for a bit, but they still aren’t official since, they really just- they know what they feel and what they have, that’s enough for them throughout s3, especially with everything going on (the song Tell Em by Sabrina Carpenter I feel really encapsulates how they feel about having a concrete label)

But now in s4, they are finally going to be dating and… honestly not much will change. That’s what I love most about Tecna and Timmy, they’re best friends in love. They act like best friends… who ocasionaly kiss. Love it!

Nabu

Now, Tecna was the last Winx to get her platonic soulmate, and I really loved introducing Nabu into the story through Tecna

These two just click from the very start, they are both have quite cool and calm demeanors that hide the ocasional gremlin behavior beneath the surface

They are each other’s impulse control and they trade a singular brain cell back and forth (Tecna has it most of the time).

I’m not really sure how to describe their relationship since, there are just some people in life with whom you just click for absolutely no reason, they just make sense to you in a way that very few people do, these two click and just want to hang out and protect one another

Who is Tecna in this Rewrite?

In this rewrite, Tecna is a young girl who isn’t the best at communicating

She is a girl who slowly grows, not in the sense that she changes, but in the sense that she grows into herself, learning more about herself, slowly learning how to communicate her love and care

The only thing that truly shifts are her priorities as she realizes just how important her family and friends are to her and, whilst she is a very ambitious girl and that doesn’t change, instead it is re-directed into… I actually can’t quite say how it is re-directed quite yet since that won’t be revealed until a lot later on

But my fave way of describing Tecna is just a girl growing into herself, into her love, into her hobbies, into her ambitions and into a wonderful woman.

———————

Masterlist

Tecna Moodboard

Tecna’s Instagram

Tecna and Musa Moodboard

Tecna and Timmy Moodboard

Tecna and Nabu Moodboard

———————

I know this one has been a long time coming, I apologize for the delay I just could not for the life of me put this into words, but here it is!!!

[psychomusic]

presenting to you: vegoia laran!

vegoia is the daughter of suri and tar'x laran, so, she's half-mirialan and half-zabrak. she lived on the mountains of mirial with her family until she began her jedi training at around 10 years, then she became a jedi seer.

more of her childhood under the cut! the rest of her story will be on other posts, I'll link them at the end when I'll post them

thank you @furious-blueberry0 for letting me use your padawan braid idea and jedi seer headcanon!! i really really love these ideas <3

since her birth, she seemed special at the eyes of her people, due to an old local myth: the founding witch.

(the myth is: a powerful witch, haunted by complex visions of the future, was exiled to the desert planet of mirial. after years spent traveling she had one clear vision on top of a mount, in which she saw the potential beauty of the valley, full of different lifeforms flourishing. with her magical powers, she turned that possible future into a reality, and everything changed: the 4 peoples who lived there started turning into trees and animals, what once was sterile rock became fertile ground, and craters were filled with water. but despite her good work, the incomprehensible visions kept returning. tired of the universe's infinite lessons, she decided to crystalize all of her visions and knowledge into the sacred crystal, and prophetized, before dying, that one day someone attuned to it would come to claim the crystal and understand the lessons she couldn't understand)

because of her albinism (that made her white like the crystal) and of her horns (the crystal has an horned shape), people thought she was the prophetized one. when she began to talk - rather late, and asked people to resolve the riddles that "a bearded man told her in her dreams" - what was just a rumor solidified into a belief.

her mother and grandfather, both in the high priesthood, taught her everything they could. they taught her to study, to reflect, and they explained to her their religion and folklore. also, her mother often tried to help her in her quest of finding answers. from her, vegoia learned how to study, and the right mindset to be able, later, to explore the jedi's philosophy and beliefs.

but it was her father that, despite his absence, taught her how to compromise with her visions, how to be patient, how to handle the state of ignorance, and how to enjoy it anyway. he was somehow better at understanding her, and making her understand things, than everyone else in the town. maybe, it was because he not only had met different force users, but also had experience with a force sensitive kid (his little brother, whom vegoia shared a lot of similar traits). despite her mother being a healer & priestess, and believing in the value in helping people, it was her father who really grounded that belief in her. in particular, he did it in a moment that. also shaped her experience of the force. a simple moment, though: she had asked him to kill a scary bug that was laying flat on its back, but he refused and instead asked her to help it. he believed that helping is what gives life sense - even more than the bonds we make, because it can't be undone. when vegoia picked up the bug and helped it get back on its feet, she could feel the bug's relief, and maybe even gratitude, through the force. this was the imprint of her experience of the force: connection (even more than her visions, that just "happened" to her, and couldn't actively call upon her).

BUT I DIGRESSED way too much on her childhood. the most important event in her childhood was the day she was taken by the jedi, even if she didn't know what truly happened that day.

the SIS had been tracking her father's movements for a while and had found out about his trips to mirial. worried that the empire was planning something, they sent a squad of operatives to investigate. since his father had often worked for the dark council, the SIS requested a jedi to come with them. when they arrived, suri went to talk to them. they threatened her into talking and she told them of their secret family. the SIS decided to take them prisoners, capture him when he got back, and make him talk using his family as leverage. the jedi disagreed with such methods but the operation was under the SIS's jurisdiction. suri then tried to convince them to leave the town and her daughter, and to instead blackmail him with her. the SIS refused, fearing that the sith might kill him before he could even know about the blackmailing. the jedi, feeling vegoia's strong presence in the force decided to make a deal: vegoia would've come with him to the temple to become a jedi. she'd still have a life, while suri would stay under their custody for the SIS trap. this would also show the agent the difference between the republic and the empire, and hopefully that would help him talk. she accepted at one condition: that they took her away before her father came back, so that she wouldn't have to live through it. vegoia didn't know of her father's real job, like everyone else in the town (everyone thought he had traded his services to the hutts to have the sacred horned crystal back).

they agreed, but, while suri was busy packing thing for vegoia, the SIS decided to put another condition. vegoia musn't be told anything about that day until her father had been taken into republic's custody, as a precaution. the jedi agreed, thinking it wouldn't be long before her father would come home and be arrested. little did he know this momentary omission would grow into a years-old lie.

[edennill]

In which I puzzle over metaphysical implications as regards the peoples inhabiting Arda

fyi, a certain familiarity with the (predominantly Christian, I think) concept of fallenness/unfallenness is assumed, although it turns out that it doesn't necessarily work here. Feel free to ask for clarifications

So. I'm once again wracking my head as I try to make sense of what I shall call: 'metaphysical states' of elves, men and others, because the subject is emphasised and lampshaded a lot in the books, and I can't force it all to make sense when taken together.

Ainur are a specific case and I should really leave them aside for now. They certainly can fall — and, unlike angels, change their mind, apparently (which goes both ways) — although they do seem to be more all-or-nothing than everyone else. Still, I think as long as one doesn't go into the implications of time and what its existence or nonexistence changes, they're almost straightforward. But then you have:

Elves. The 'Fall of the Noldor' is very strongly emphasised as a metaphysical fall from grace and further evils, even ones unconnected with the matter of the Silmarils themselves, are blamed on it later (Maeglin!) So far so good. Except. Non-Noldor are also liable to behave in ways that are not exemplary in the slightest, and it doesn't seem to signify a cesura in the same way — and the Noldor in Valinor were able to commit acts that perhaps weren't as heinous as what we call crimes, but weren't good either. Getting into rancid fights with your brother isn't much in comparison, but these are not the actions of unfallen people.

And on the other hand, authorial quote (paraphrased): "Elves in some ways represent Man in an unfallen state". And I'm inclined to agree: they aren't subject to death (except they may be killed, so doesn't this already break down?), and there is something very poignant in the image of their artistry, "extempt from earthly limitations". But they do not lose it, not in any easily tangible way. We can argue that evil diminishes creativity and it's probably true, but there is no hard line anyone passes. And this is again lampshaded in-world with the Númenoreans ("If we die because of some darkness that lay on us before, than why don't the Noldor?").

Which brings us to Men. The existence of a direct cause-effect relationship between fallenness and mortality in Arda cannot be ascertained (Even taking into account a Catholic framework, I feel that logically it need not be the same relationship as the Biblical one since, in contrast with the Garden of Eden, the world was already marred when humans appeared). While I consider the Tale of Adanel to be Gondorian in origin, I can also see the possibility that whatever Men did back then, beyond memory (or in other words "we purposefully forgot") was just that much worse than Alqualondë and the Oath. In any case, Man is very straightforwardly Fallen.

Hobbits. The rules for Halflings are presumably the same as for Men, which is certainly notable, given that they seem to be the least inclined to evil of all incarnates. Not perfect, not by a long shot, but unknowing of wars and violence. A pastoral image, only in-world it's true.

And at the same time, my musings bring me to the unexpected conclusion that dwarves are the only notable "generally unfallen" kindred. Which is, in context of everything that regards them, weird — because by their actions, they are very similar to Men. And yet — either the circumstances of their creation make them disadvantaged from the start (which doesn't really make that much sense), or something happened off-screen, or it's the same case as Saeros, or Thingol sending Beren to his death.

Ents? I honestly don't know if we've seen enough of ents to judge, although they seem generally good-inclined? Huorns are a different kettle of fish.

Before I try to explain orcs, it would do well to know what they are exactly.

In other words, I cannot make sense of it all, enough that I've resorted to calling the default state of incarnates in Arda "semi-fallen" (or, as is, "semi-unfallen"). Which is not a thing that makes sense, philosophically speaking — but I can find no better way.

(Although, to be quite honest, the default state of being in Arda (because of the discord?) seems to be significantly different from the unfallen state of Man as described by religious thinkers in some ways, and not all of them regard merely such things as physical marring, so perhaps "semi" isn't the worst way to describe it.)

In any case, if someone has thoughts on the subject, I'm very open to hearing them.

[h1llzy]

MUMBO JUMBO S10 LORE THEORY/OVERVEIW: immortality

Right I have a lot of things to explain, you may be wondering…does mumbo even have lore? And I’d have to tell you yes yes he very much does and it’s stuck in my brain like a worm.

And I believe he has planned it since episode 9 of his hermitcraft series…

I’ll start in chronological order.

Firstly: when mumbo is planning and drawing out his base he has a small box at the bottom with numbers. That is what is going to be the data base in episode 20 , where he talks about him / all his inventions… living on forever. (This will be a major theme)

Now that in its self is not enough to prove anything… but in episode 25… the laboratory we learn about what a certain company is trying to achieve in their endeavours.

It talks of a couple major things: red stone research…artificial intelligence…preservation of the lived experience…

But the biggest of all “soon we will be living forever..”

And they are going to “start human trails shortly…”

Also in this same episode, Mumbo changes his skin and starts to grey.

It goes from this…

To this… and it happens midway through the episode:

(Both taken from episode 25)

So we know that the mined labaratory is testing with artificial intelligence and red stone to attempt to create some sort of immortality situation. And mumbo is being directly effected by it via aging.

But the MOST DARNED evidence is within episode 29 at the very beginning!!! He made an entire cinematic sequence…

(I can’t place the clip but seriously go watch it it’s sooo good!)

From this… we are able to see testing cells… that have chicken noises and villager noises coming from them.

Where we can sort of tell:

- one: the chickens have been tested on in order to possibly experiment on their entire life cycle. (Egg, embryo, chick, chicken..)

- two: the humans within the cinematic…talk in villager noises. So human trials have definitely started.

Then the dialogue shows even more…

“I got the notification, is it done?”

“It’s done…” and then we see this…

A mind… is 100% mapped…

THEN! Midway episode 32 he changes his skin again to grey even more!

(You may say that is because he is literally being sued but that kinda just speedens the process a bit)

So here is the basic parts I have put together in a small synopsis theory:

Mumbo is essentially patient zero, the mined company want to preserve intelligence , to see if after they die they can live as an ai. They have tested on animals, and villagers/ humans (not too sure) but now want mumbo’s intelligence via documenting it all onto a computer. Where it gets trained into an ai that is a replica of the person mind, their personality…every little bit about themselves…that why the brain is 100% mapped..because it is 100% copied… the data base, is also apart of this.. and is actually connected to mumbo in some sort of way, storing all the inventions and red stone ideas he has ever made to be placed into the ai algorithm.

This is very much having a bad effect on mumbo himself, as he seems to be aging much quicker….as if in trying to preserve life they are making it fade more quickly…

But the real question is what is going to end up happening well I have two theory’s for you there….

Silly theory: Grumbot.

You see when mumbo changed his skin it no longer had the waffle…so that possibly means that when minded was mapping out mumbo’s brain…it picked a up a bit of an anomaly..such as….someone’s soul…

Grians… (mwahhaa). So while trying to obtain a obedient ai that could persevere all of mumbo’s intelligence of red stone and inventions forever through the data base. They have also inadvertently picked up a bit of Grian within the ai (which is why the waffle from mumbo’s skin disapeared, due to the fact it’s now in the ai)… creating the famously charming Grumbot!!!

Angst theory: Ai after death

Mumbo is going to die due to the rapid aging that the mined company has placed on him…in which causes them to create basically an ai replica of mumbo, placing him in a robot body where he is essentially “replaced” by his robot version, and that ai is just now him (kinda like Astro boy)

So yeah….this took 2 hours…I need help, the brain rot is bad. Um thanks!

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 34

You know the drill, Spoilers for all of ISAT, etc. CW: Confused Pining? Sparring Scene/Consensual Violence. I SHOULD NOTE THAT THE PINING AND CONSENSUAL VIOLENCE ARE NOT RELATED!!!

"So, how was your little chat with Eclipse last night~?"

"It went well actually," [Blind it!] "how was sharing a tent with Nille for the first time~?" [STARS BLINDING CRAB!!! You immediately feel your face begin to burn.]

"You could at least humor me when I try to tease you, you know!"

"Hah! Not so fun on the other end, is it~?" [You cross your arms and pout. It wasn't fair how difficult they were to fluster now.]

"... Wait... what do you mean it went 'well'?"

"Well... I talked about what I was going to talk about back then... a-and uhh... they weren't... against it." [His face begins to darken instead. Hah! It's working!... Wait what is he talking about?]

"Against, what exactly?"

"Uhm... M-Maybe we shouldn't really talk about this! Th-That was a whole loop ago, it never really happened technically, j-just forget about it!"

"Hah~! I haven't seen you this flustered in a long time~. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were falling for me, Stardust~." [His face burns darker as he falls silent.] "... This is the part where you refute that, Stardust."

"... W-Well... the thing is... uhhh..." [Your own face grows just as dark.]

"... Truce to never speak of this again?"

"Y-Yup! Truce!" [You both stop acknowledging each other as you break off. Stardust heads off towards Eclipse and the Housemaiden, while you head towards Nille, Flare, and, ugh, the Researcher... Fantastic. Nille perks up at your approach.]

"Hey Vay, what were you and Sif talking about?"

"Absolutely nothing~! Next question~!"

"That bad, huh? Alright, I won't pry. Though speaking of, Dile here was hoping to get some info out of you." [Of course she is...]

"Yes, Petronille has informed me that you're a paper type now. I've never heard of someone changing their craft type before, but there's a lot of topics that would apply to in the last few months. I was hoping you might like to spar sometime." [Wonderful, here comes the interro-wait what did she just say?]

"You... want to spar with me?"

"Yes. In Ka Bue, it is believed that there's no better way to understand someone than by the way they Craft. I may not believe in all the sentimentality behind it, but watching someone Craft can make for quite an impression. Perhaps it could even answer some questions you have about yourself."

"... I don't think that would be for the best. I'd rather not hurt any of you."

"I don't doubt your time in the loops has given you an advantage when it comes to experience, but I'm sure I could hold my own long enough to get what I'd need. Besides, Mirabelle can help ensure nothing goes too far." [Your expression does very little to hide your hesitance about the idea.] "So you don't want to prove how different you are from Siffrin now?"

"What?"

"I've seen how Siffrin Crafts for months now, I'd be able to spot it in a moment. So why don't you show me just how different you are now?" [You know exactly what she's trying to do... yet her goading still succeeds in spite of that.]

"Fine, then spar we shall~."

"DILE'S GONNA KICK VALE'S CRABBING BUTT!" [Flare shouts as Nille chuckles with a shake of her head.]

"Can't say I'm not excited to see how this plays out."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

[You stand at one end of a clearing, the Researcher at the opposite end. Everyone else eagerly gathered into a little group nearby to watch. You perk up as Nille calls out.]

"Go easy on them, Dile! They've only been in a fight or two since the Change!" [Excuse us?!]

"Thanks for the vote of confidence?!"

"Hah! Well it's true!"

"Vale seemed rather worried about hurting me earlier, so I don't intend to hold back. Besides, if they do then this whole research project would be null and void. I need to see you at your best, so don't pull any punches!" [The Researcher calls out in a demanding tone, one similar to a teacher encouraging a student. You're unsure why, but it starts to light a fire within you.]

"Alright." [You draw your whip and hold out a paper sign with your other hand.] "Ready when you are, Researcher!"

"Would you mind counting us down, Boniface?" [Flare jumps to their feet eagerly. A very excited grin across their face.]

"One!" [Wait...]

"Two!" [We just remembered...]

"Three!" [WE DON'T HAVE ANY CRAFT SKILLS OF OUR OWN!]

[You begin to panic as the Researcher starts to rush towards you. You see her hands move in a familiar way, and without thinking to go to copy it. You need every advantage you can get as you both SLOW IV each other with the exact same method. She raises a brow as she realized what happened.]

"Huh. No, no that would make sense. You must have seen me use that craft countless times, of course you'd learn how to emulate it. This still isn't exactly helping this experiment though, show me your craft, Vale!"

"I... don't really have any yet..."

"Then you best come up with something fast!" [She threatens and makes a scissors sign, slicing a streak of SCISSORS III towards you. You barely manage to dive out of the way thanks to that heavy feeling slowing you down, leaving you wide open for the next attack.]

[She swings her open palm down towards you just as a PAPER III blast slams down onto your back.] "GAH!" [It stings, but no where near as much as that earlier strike would have. You shake off the craft weighing you down and quickly get back to your feet. You notice she still has the SLOW on her, you have an opening!]

[You crack your whip a few times, sending waves of Paper Craft towards her. She only manages to block one, taking the full brunt of the other two. She slides back across the dirt and falls to a knee. Despite this, a grin crosses her face as she looks back up at you.]

"Now we're getting somewhere, keep it up Vale. Show me what you're capable of." [She commands yet again, getting back up and flashing another scissors sign. The Craft comes flying at you quickly, slamming into your stomach and causing you to fly back, slamming into a tree.]

"Ugh... Oh you'll pay for that one Researcher!" [You're injured now, but it only strengthens the fire within you. You focus your intent into the tip of your whip before lashing it out, sending an intense wave of pure Creative Craft towards her. Even as she blocks it, it manages to deal a good amount of damage. You don't let up, you snap your whip again and again, sending smaller blasts but trying to overwhelm her. She evades the first few only to stop in her tracks and SLOW IV you yet again, taking a couple hits to do so.]

"You're getting desperate, good! You're showing your true self now!" [You grumble as you feel that same weight again, like your whole body was moving through sludge. You can't take another big hit, you look around to find some sort of advantage... You crack your whip once more, and as she goes to defend, it swings upwards and blasts the tree behind her, sending an explosion of leaves to surround and distract her. You move as quick as you can in this addled state to hide behind a tree until it wears off.]

"Clever. You fight like a cornered animal, yet you still manage to find and use any advantage you can." [Why do we feel like a book being read right now?...] "I haven't had a good fight since Dormont, I appreciate you indulging me with this." [You take a few breaths to help shake the craft off of you.]

"My pleasure, I just can't wait to wipe that grin off of your face~!" [You call out, whip ready as you focus your craft into it again. Just as expected you feel a heavy blast of Craft slam against the tree you hid behind. You tuck and roll back out into the open and prepare to strike!... Wait, where did she go?]

WHACK [You're suddenly smacked upside the head with another PAPER III, knocking you over as you grip your head.] "OW! CHEAP SHOT!"

"You think you're the only one who can use tactics?" [She smirks, stepping out from behind a very different tree than you expected. She holds her free hand in a paper sign.] "Now time to finish this."

[You prepare to defend, you're weak but you could take another hit of PAPER III if you're ready for it... until you notice her hand moving different than usual. You glance over at her hand holding her book, which was hiding the Scissors sign she was actually using to power the craft! By the time you realize her trick, the piercing energy was already heading directly towards you.]

[You panic, without thinking you act, a wave of Craft flowing out of you and into your whip. LION TAMER! You lash out your whip, coiling around the attack itself. You guide it off course, and hold on tightly as it spins around your form, releasing it as it flies directly back at the Researcher. She was too surprised by what you did to even try blocking it, landing a direct hit with her own attack and leaving her K.O.ed across the grass... You blink a few times as you still aren't even sure what you just did.]

"M'dame!" [The Housemaiden quickly hops up and rushes over to her side, starting to pump healing craft into the downed Researcher. Flare is close behind with the pack of tonics in case it's needed. You look down at your hands and whip, still just lost in the shock and adrenaline of what you'd just done. You stumble as a heavy pat hits your back.]

"Holy crab! Where have you been hiding that one, Vay?!"

"I... I have no idea... Is... Is she okay?" [You look back over to her, Flare and the Housemaiden are helping her up to a sitting position. She looks spent but otherwise awake and aware. You hesitate before walking over.] "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize I could even do that, are you-" [You're interrupted as she raises a hand to stop you.]

"That was exactly what I asked for, thank you for assisting me with this experiment. I think we've both learned a lot from it, Vale." [She has a satisfied smile painted across her face.]

"Yes, that was... certainly an experience, thank you for helping me find myself like this, Comet." [She raises a brow at the end of your statement.] "A nickname, if you don't mind me using it..." [She shares a look with you, understanding the importance you give to these silly nicknames. She smiles and nods.]

"Of course, now go enjoy your victory, I need to rest and gather my thoughts properly." [She says with a huff, trying to play off the feelings much like you do.]

"Of course, rest well~." [You head back to Nille as you hear Flare begin shouting behind you.]

"Diiiile! I can't believe you let Vale beat you! What the crab!"

Huge thank you to @itstheval for inspiring the fight scene and coming up with Craft Skills for Vale!! His fan chapters are wonderful and the skills he came up with are so goooood!

[therealmylesmorales]

SFW Alphabet|| Lara Croft

Kiss kiss anon, here’s what you requested 🫶🏾

No warnings, I don’t think. Just low key Dorky!Lara. Might make that my brand.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

On a scale from 1-10, Lara’s a solid 9.5; the only reason why she’s not a 10 is because she’s away a lot. I’ve decided that physical touch is one of her love languages as well, love touching/being touched by you. Especially kissing. She would even playfully pout at you if you deny her of your touch.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Lara met you through Sam. You were a friend of Sam, meeting through university and got back in contact when you moved back to England. At first, you thought Lara didn’t like you you just made her super nervous. Eventually, Lara became a good friend to you as well, especially when Sam cut contact with Lara. The friendship…then the relationship grew from there.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling is Lara’s favorite activity with you. She loves laying on top of you, completely covering your body like a blanket as you play with her hair. It’s often that Lara would nap while you did that. As for the big spoon/little spoon, Lara’s mostly the big spoon, loving the feeling of your body pressed against her.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Lara grew up with maids and chefs but spent enough time annoying around them where she picked up some tips. However, she enjoys your cooking more, claiming that your cooking is much better. She’s British y’all, give her a break.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

For kicks and gigs, let’s just say that Lara would want to break up with you. Lara’s mature, she would give you reasons on why she feels a certain way and for how long. She would want only space at first, just to see if her feelings would mellow out during that time period.

But if things don’t change, she would let you know that it’s not your fault; she’s the one that feels that way. And she would not want to stay in contact afterwards, knowing neither would heal if that’s the case.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

As soon as that “girlfriend” title was placed, Lara would be all about you. And after a year of being together, she could see you being in her life forever. But she probably wouldn’t propose then and there, just give her time to plan it first. Unless you somehow throw off her plans by proposing first, she would just give you the ring after you had your moment.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

You’re like a flower to Lara. Beautiful and fragile, and she treats you as such. The way she cares for you is unlike anything you’ve imagined. She would never let you take on more than needed, more than willing to take on the load if you’re feeling too stressed over work.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

For the plot, just pretend that you’re short. Lara’s like 5’8”, just vibe.

Lara loves giving you hugs; resting her chin on top of your head, smelling your perfume, it brings her peace. Her hugs are warm, feeling her strong arms around you would make you feel safe. She gives you hugs around the same amount as her kisses..

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Lara almost said that shit on the first date. But she somehow held herself back, not wanting to scare you off. It surprised her that you were the first one to say it, after six months of dating. And ever since, Lara will always say it to you at least twice a day.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

We saw a jealous Lara. She would try to let you handle it. She trusts you with everything in her…just not other people. So, when she sees them being pushy and not respecting you, Lara would have to step in.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Lara’s kisses are soft, tender, almost as if she’s afraid you’d break if she’s too rough. And she lingers, like she wants you to remember how she feels even when she’s not there. Her favorite place to kiss you are your lips, obviously. Another common place to kiss you is your knuckles, she’s just in love with you like that.

As for her, Lara would never turn down a kiss from you, no matter where you decide to place it. However, the bridge/tip of her nose makes her giggle. I’d call that her second favorite type kiss.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Lara likes children but not enough to the point to want one of her own. She’s comfortable with just the two of you, maybe an animal or two as well. However, maybe more down the line, you would gain her attention if you mentioned having a child with her.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Those mornings where you both have nothing to do are Lara’s favorites. She’ll get to bask in the morning sun and in the attention you give her. Lara would try to keep you in bed for as long as she could until you pulled her out to get the day started.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Lara are tranquil. If you were apart for most of the day, she would lay with you, just to hear you talk; good, bad it wouldn’t matter to her, you would still have her full attention. Alternatively, if you spent the day together, there would be an hour where Lara would catch up with her own work or even read. It was her winding down time.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Lara would be shy during the first few meet up’s, so she’s unnaturally quiet. But over time, she would quickly warm up and reveal a few things about her. Just about anything would be on the table for her to talk about.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Lara is a very patient person, especially when it comes to you. It’s even rare for her to raise her voice around you. However, for those times that she’s running thin, she wouldn’t hesitate to ask you for a bit of space just to calm herself down.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

One thing we can’t do is deny how smart Lara is. She would remember something you mentioned once. One your first date. YEARS ago. Lara would have to remind you about a few things you said.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Lara’s favorite memory is when you agreed to be her girlfriend. It was your third date, when Lara finally understood that she didn’t need to be extravagant in order to impress you. She showed up at your apartment with a small gift and a bouquet, the question on the tip of her tongue but she hesitated; she wasn’t sure if her feelings were one sided and you only saw her as a good friend. Lara you fuck ass lesbian.

But that hesitation immediately washed away when you kissed her mid movie after sensing her nervousness.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Like I said in one of my first headcannons, Lara would teach you how to use a gun, and it would not be up for debate. Trinity might be gone but that doesn’t mean she’s free of enemies and she would be damned if they got to you. She would tell you about the weapons hidden around the manor just in case as well.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Lara puts effort with everything in her. She would always manage to bring you a small trinket from another country, to the point where you have an entire bookshelf filled with them. For your very first date, she rented out a museum and tried to impress you with her knowledge on a few topics. She nerded out a few times but she succeeded. And not to mention the time she took you to Hawai’i for your one year.

Moral of the story, Lara would go above and beyond for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Lara gets in her head a lot and forgets to do a lot of human necessities. When she’s locked up in her office, Lara would get obsessed over her next clue, the code she would have to crack and would accidentally ignore you. She would give you short responses or even politely decline your offers for food. Lara would feel bad about later, when she noticed you stopped coming in and would timidly apologize later that night.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Honestly…I don’t see Lara being that vain. Every other week, baby girl is covered in dirt, blood, mud and new scars. Yeah, of course she does her best but she dosen’t see the point in most days especially if she has to leave soon.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Lara wasn’t complete until she met you. She was going through the motions, life was a routine. Then you got added. You made her life more exciting, she couldn’t wait to be around you. You added something Lara didn’t know she was missing.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

No Edward Cullen type shit, but Lara loves to watch you sleep. When she wakes up before your alarm goes off, she likes to soak in those few extra minutes of your peaceful face. She would try to coax you awake with soft kisses to make your morning.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Lara doesn’t like people that are unnecessarily mean. Therefore, if your way of flirting with people is by being mean, you have no chance. Sorry, mean fems. You have a better chance with Claire than Lara.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

One thing for sure is that Lara is a heavy sleeper. When she’s out in the wild, she’s alert, waking up at every little noise so she gets little to no sleep. But at home, when she’s safe and with you? Not only will Lara sleep like a log, but be prepared to hear grown man snores coming from her after being away.

Another thing that Lara would do is keep you captive on the bed. Because, until she wakes up, Lara would not move off of you. Even if you try to move her arm from around you, she would whine and move closer to you. Luckily, Lara is an early riser.

[heliomanteia]

Another thought: Epic so far (surprisingly) gave no song to Penelope (while even Telemachus already had musical presence), which makes me perceive the whole narrative as an almost entirely Odysseus-centric one with his feelings and reading of the situation dominating the narration. The fact that by the end of the Vengeance Saga he is the only narrator that either escaped or got rid of all of his narrative mirrors also means a lot to me.

With that being said, I think Epic (accidentally?) raises a question of the making of the casus belli.

What I mean by that is, Penelope (and I'll focus on her mostly since she has most presence in Odysseus' thoughts) is consistently brought up as that bargain chip that Odysseus uses to reconcile with his own morals.

I'm just a man who wants to get back to his wife.

I need to see her.

...with my wife.

Looking past the surface "he just loves his wife", I want to specify that in none of these episodes do we see Penelope's perspective and her feelings. Specifically in Epic, Penelope is present through Odysseus' (and once through Telemachus' and Antinous') lens. She is not there as herself, yet. The choices Odysseus makes justified by Penelope — I wonder how she would feel about them? Obviously, they both want to reunite, I presume, in this media too; but will we ever get to hear her point of view on how much Odysseus changed? This is not the man she watched leave for war, this is a ruthless beast that justified many crimes with her name. How does it... feel, to be loved so much you're the reason someone betrays himself and turns into a person he once avoided and feared to become?

Epic omitting Penelope's narration for most of the musical makes it less clear, to me, how she feels. How hard it is for her. This musical is a primarily Odysseus-focused story and it's sure interesting.

[hanamukes]

Uika and her inner monster, Doloris

Admittedly when I first watched It's MyGO and Ave Mujica 0th, I didn't really think much of Uika. She and Doloris are presented as such vastly different entities that my brain kind of glossed over her, because I don't tend to go crazy for characters who are presented to us as always being bright and warm. Even when the last episode aired and I saw her undergo the transformation from Uika into Doloris, it still hadn't fully set in for me (though perhaps this is simply because I was busy losing my mind in excitement about seeing Ave Mujica at all as well as the sequel announcement).

But reading the interviews that came out after the anime finished airing completely changed that. Uika is Tomori's opposite in every regard? She has a secret so intense it made her voice actress stand out of her chair and yell when she heard it? I need to know more! What on earth could this seemingly kind character be hiding?

I've been keeping a close eye on her content ever since, and it's slowly making me feel insane. So, in anticipation for the anime, as well as their 4th concert which will happen in December and thus give us even more Doloris lore, I wanted to compile a post on the both of them in which I will present my various thoughts and theories.

Doloris

Uika is, in the most literal sense, Doloris' actress. This could perhaps lend to many believing that Uika is not Doloris, or rather that Doloris is not Uika. At the same time, I want to pose a very simple question.

Who came first: Doloris or Uika?

Timeline-wise, Doloris came first. Can Uika even exist without Doloris? Can she be who she is without us immediately recognizing her as being Doloris? What came first was not "Doloris is a puppet persona Uika plays as on stage," but rather it was "Uika is Doloris from Ave Mujica." This was their intent; to introduce Doloris to us, and then to introduce this girl who has an identical design to her in the anime, who is seemingly her exact opposite. What weight could Uika's scenes hold, if not to tell us that she will later turn into the monster known as Doloris? On her own, without Doloris, what does Uika represent?

Doloris herself talks about wanting to be seen for her true self. Is Uika Doloris' true self, or is Doloris Uika's true self? Which is it that they want us to believe? Which one does "Uika" want us to believe? Which one is Sakiko, or perhaps Oblivionis, trying to convince us to believe? Who is "Uika"?

Our introduction to this character was not a Sumimi scene, or her consoling someone, or a frame of her smiling, or of her expressing her love for music. It was this.

This creepy, disturbing montage of Doloris, covered in blood, inviting someone into her cult. Inviting you into her cult. Inviting you to dig deeper.

Though if you want to go even further back, I would argue our first, true genuine introduction was Black Birthday itself.

You see, I don't believe there's any true and correct way to interpret Ave Mujica's songs. The songs are whatever you make of them. That's part of the insanity of Ave Mujica; of never having a proper answer, of always wanting to dig deeper. So I won't say this is that correct reading, but rather one of the infinite possibilities. That said, after watching the intermissions from their concerts as we currently know them, I can't help but feel their first 6 songs perfectly tell the story of Doloris. It goes something like this:

Black Birthday: Doloris' rebirth into her true self. The dyeing of one's purity into corruption. Finally being able to see what was once unseeable (perhaps the light in the pitch black darkness, which she discusses a lot in their stage plays). It's a disturbing birthday party welcoming the new her.

The Two Moons ~Deep Into the Forest~: Now reborn, she finds herself lost in a forest. The play sequence in the last episode of It's MyGO feels reminiscent to this song; Doloris straying into a forest (Loft Moon), while Oblivionis ridicules her, and yet she's so beautiful she cannot take her eyes off her despite the pain of having her heart torn asunder. The song even has imagery describing candles lit on a table, which we can see in the anime rendition of this scene.

Choir 'S' Choir: She's slowly giving in to the insanity of Ave Mujica. This song reminds me a lot of Perdere Omnia; when she finally stops her denial and begins to understand why the others wish to destroy the world. She's letting herself become an esquire, a fallen angel if you will. She hears voices screaming at her, and she knows she's being hunted down, but she keeps dancing anyway. She's testing out her new abilities.

God, You're a Fool: This song represents her inner doubts. What exactly are they fighting for? For whose sake? Why do they have to be in this situation to begin with? If God wasn't a fool, surely everything would be fine... right?

Mas?uerade Rhapsody Re?uest: She's decided she no longer cares about anything. No longer cares how corrupted she becomes, no longer cares to hide her dark feelings. She's just going to fully embrace it all, she's going to let herself be taken by the shadowy jesters. The mask is a part of her now.

Ave Mujica: With her mask as her skin, it's her turn to lure others in. She's going to corrupt you. She reassures you that those with masks will fulfill your any wish, and that even though this is a place of no return, don't worry, there's nothing to be scared of.

It's interesting, because while the songs can apply to anyone (the other dolls for one, and perhaps even the listeners themselves), I can't ignore the parallels between the story these songs are telling, and the story of Doloris as we've seen in the concert intermissions. (Regarding the Utopia single and the ELEMENTS series, those songs were written more to fit a specific narrative, and I don't think they apply to the dolls themselves as directly. That's just my own personal take on them though and is why I won't be analyzing them here)

As for the intermissions themselves, there's a lot going on in them and much of Doloris' dialogue isn't about herself, but I want to go over some general observations:

Doloris uses 僕 (boku). This is significant because she's the only one who has a personal pronoun that differs from her actress; Uika uses 私(watashi). Ave Mujica songs use 私 (watashi) as well, though I don't think this means much in the context of Uika or Doloris because it's just for formality (if anything, it's interesting because it's an inverse of Uika's narrative opposite, Tomori; who uses 私 (watashi) in her daily speech but 僕 (boku) in her songs). That said, in Quaerere Lumina, there's a segment where "Doloris" switches to 私 (watashi), which many found haunting because it almost felt as if those words came from Uika herself, and that she switched back to Doloris after speaking vulnerable words from her heart.

She uses 君 (kimi; "you") in an interesting way. In Perdere Omnia, this referred to Oblivionis. In Veritas, however, she uses this repeatedly in the context of "someone" who she wants to be reborn with. It's someone who extended a hand to her, and who took her mask off her. It's someone she wants to be with for the rest of her life, just the two of them. And at the end, she uses it in reference to you, the audience, who will surely attend their next concert. Who is it that removed her mask? Oblivionis, or us? (Like many things in Ave Mujica, my own interpretation on this is that it's probably Oblivionis, because at its core, this is a yuri band, and Oblivionis is in fact someone who we've seen accept Doloris for who she is)

Each doll has a specific thing they focus on: Oblivionis stands her ground despite everything but also talks about finding things pitiful, Timoris is logical and an observer who wants to be acknowledged, Amoris talks about her lost love and boredom, Mortis talks about peace and quiet as well as the beauty in death. For Doloris, the thing she highlights that the others don't is us watching her slowly spiral into insanity, and particularly as of Veritas, her sense of her own body (as well as this attachment to someone else, as mentioned above). She sees herself as an empty shell, which is true for the others as well, but on top of this she has a fixation on her mask and the relationship it has with her body. It's her skin, and simultaneously, if you remove it, below that you'll find her true, perhaps ugly self. It means a lot to her that someone could love the her that exists without the mask. (Is this intended to be foreshadowing for the relationship between Doloris and Uika, and which of the two of them is her truest self?)

Doloris is an embodiment of insecurity, and simultaneously, she's a ferocious monster when she performs. Rico Sasaki herself claims that she feels like Doloris possesses her when they hold concerts. Her voice is cold, bitter and pained; it's a far cry from Uika's speaking voice, which is so warm and comforting. She is plagued with sorrow, of which she would rather die and be reborn than have to deal with. Her ideal world is simply one of being together with the one who accepts her in all of her ugliness.

Uika

There's a sort of trend to Uika's scenes: when she's around someone else, she waits for them to talk or express emotion before she matches their energy, and when she's alone, she drops the happy idol facade. The very first time we ever see her, she's doing just this.

This is also apparent in two other (coincidentally Sumimi) scenes, where the same thing happens in each: Uika is matching the energy of who she's talking to, but the second she's separated from them by a door, she has an almost empty expression on her face.

(The fact this has happened for both Sumimi scenes, when Uika has so little screentime so every second we see of her is supposed to be precious, has me really wondering just how much she likes her "dream job." Also, I wonder if this is a coincidence: immediately after both of these shots, she looks at her phone and sees Sakiko on her screen which cheers her up (the first is an old text, the second is a phone call))

It's something that on its own feels a bit deliberate, but when you take a certain intermission from their concerts into consideration, it really does become something you can't ignore.

This is the one part of the concert intermissions in which Doloris uses 私 (watashi). This is what many interpret to be Uika's words.

To put this simply, she feels as if she's an empty shell who has to match the energy of the people around her. When nobody is there to give her something to react to, she reverts to that husk. This is exactly the vibe I get from a lot of her scenes in the anime.

(I talked in depth about these two scenes in my Taki&Uika writeup so please do check that out for my thoughts on them, but to recap for this context: it's interesting to me how she looks so "empty" until she reads Sakiko's message (and feels seen by her, thus breaking her out of that state; I also want to mention she never messaged Sakiko first despite having her phone number, which to me is such an explicit example of her feeling like she doesn't exist unless someone else contacts her first that you may as well have a bright red arrow pointing at it), and on the right we can see her matching Sakiko's energy)

And actually, she almost implies as much to Mana directly.

"It's easy for me to sing when I'm with you, Mana-chan." On the surface, this just seems like something she's saying to make her excitable partner happy, to show agreement even though she's exhausted and not nearly as excited as she is. Mana reacts, calling it a compliment. But is it really? Her wording here is deliberate: she can only sing well because she's with her. Because she's being seen by someone else. Watching all of their scenes, I can't shake the feeling that Uika would not "shine" as an idol without Mana by her side. Immediately before this, Mana's happily waving and thanking the filming crew while Uika gives them a more heartless nod. Uika's appeal as an idol is that she's "cool" (this is written on her character bio), so it's not that I would expect her to match Mana's energy in that sense (who's appeal is her energy)... but I do wonder what she would be like in this context without Mana, given she already seems rather tense even with her. (Here's an easily missable clip of her sighing the second she's alone)

What about her comforting Tomori? Surely that was the one scene where she was acting of her own emotions? And what about when she talked to her in the final episode? It's not as if she was matching Tomori's energy 1:1! She reached out to her on her own!

And maybe that's true. However, consider this: that happened after she got Sakiko back in her life. Is an empty husk still just a shell if the one who's there to look at her―and bring her to life―is by her side now?

Let's take a closer look at these scenes though, shall we?

The planetarium. Uika was there to look at the stars, which are reflective of her childhood memories with Sakiko. Then, she finds Tomori, who she recognizes as being from Crychic (because she attended their concert a year ago). I could believe it if she sat next to her because Tomori looked upset; Tomori has subtle facial expressions yes, but it's pretty obvious when she's hurt. She decides to sit next to her, but her seat won't recline (I've seen people point out that she's been there before, so she surely would have known how to put the seat down; I think this is very funny and could be true, though I do want to point out Tomori said "this seat works like this" and Uika was sitting in a different seat than we saw in episode 8 anyway). Tomori helps her and they make indescribable eye contact briefly before they go back to watching the stars.

Then she kept an eye on her when they left and caught her on the stairs. Pretty standard stuff. From the get-go though, she was matching Tomori's energy. This is really subtle and more obvious in motion, but when she's asking if Tomori's okay, Tomori's head dips down twice, and each time Tomori's head dips, Uika's dips down a second or two later to match her.

If it was just once, I wouldn't think anything of it, but twice? Why is she studying her reaction this closely to the point of replicating it?

Then this happens, and I'll just leave my commentary from a year ago because it still applies:

Uika stares at Tomori and the Crychic photo that she saw on their social media comes to mind. She focuses in on Sakiko and Tomori... but moreso Sakiko. This kind of goes under the radar as it comes across as her bringing up stars because she knows it's something Tomori clearly likes and thus could be a bridge of conversation between them, so to speak, but I can't shake the fact that thinking about Sakiko was what prompted her to start talking about the stars she can see in Tokyo. Sakiko, who she was separated from for so long and who she was only able to reunite with in Tokyo.

(As a side note before I continue, this conversation makes me wonder how familiar she is with Tokyo. I'm not well-versed in Japan's geography nor do we really know anything about Uika's personal life, but I do know she lived on an island as a kid because she says Sakiko visited her island. It's also her chat icon)

Another easily missable detail, but when she picks up Tomori's notes, she waits a second for Tomori to give "consent" (via eye contact) before she continues talking. I'll also just mention here that I do think Uika meant what she said about singing being something that conveys someone's heart, and I feel like this was the most honest she was in the entire show.

Moving on to the episode 13 confrontation. I'll be honest, this whole interaction is very weird and as I'm typing up this post I'm still not sure what to make of a lot of it.

Once again, Uika is in the planetarium, this time in the same seat she was in for episode 8 before she met up with Sakiko (starting to see a theme here). Then she spots Tomori and grabs her shoulder, calling her Tomori-chan. Tomori seems confused so she checks that it really is "Tomori" and says they met there before. She does the same thing she did in episode 10 where when Tomori shifts her head, she shifts hers too while she's talking to her.

I like this shot because it feels like she instantly goes into "handsome" mode when she realizes this girl is a fan of "Sumimi's Uika."

This is where this interaction gets weird, because Tomori says she doesn't know who Uika is, and Uika responds with... "I'm glad she doesn't." Huh? Even Anon herself says "Huh?" out loud here. I could not possibly give you an explanation for why Uika would be "glad" that Tomori doesn't know who she is. Why is she trying to get close with her if she doesn't care that Tomori doesn't know her?

Then she asks if Tomori's song worked and Tomori says yes. It still feels like she's trying to gauge her feelings (but for what?). Then she claims she doesn't know Tomori, they just "met at the planetarium before." Anon seems pretty weirded out still. Then she changes the subject and asks if the two of them are in a band. When Anon shows her her phone, which has all the band members listed, she stares at it for a second before asking if she can follow.

(Anon's face being cut off here is interesting to me given this is from Uika's point of view, and really what could be so interesting in that photo?)

The length in which she stares at it makes me think this is likely how she learned MyGO exists, though I can't really piece together what she gets out of this aside from knowing what band Tomori is in. Then she asks if she can follow them and leaves. The whole interaction feels so pointless yet so deliberate: we didn't get closure on Taki's character arc in this episode, but we got this scene of Uika following MyGO's social media account? I'll be interested in seeing how this is relevant later on.

Oh, and the most important part of this scene: Tomori never told Uika her name. Anon is visibly weirded out by this. Of course, this scene is also followed by another shot of Uika not having to match anyone's energy, looking stern as she seems to whenever she's by herself. (She's looking at Crychic's social media page and commenting on how Tomori is from Sakiko's old band, by the way; how did she pull that up so fast? She just sat down?)

Uika and Tomori are narrative opposites. The director for the anime stated that Uika is her polar opposite in every regard. Ricochi also pointed out that while Tomori's songs turn her human, Uika's turn her into a monster. Their episode 10 confrontation was intended to be them meeting before the Ave Mujica ball gets rolling, so to speak, in order to allow them to contrast greater when the sequel comes out.

In general, what I make of Uika's cheerfulness is it's reflective of something Ricochi said in regards to Ave Mujica as a whole: like the moon, she can't shine on her own, but when others look at her, a light glistens from her. It almost makes me wonder if she wanted to become an idol in order to, like she said in her introduction clip with Mana, "make others feel better too" with her songs, at an attempt to mask the fact she can't shine when she's alone herself.

Those are the biggest points I wanted to articulate, so below I'll drop some other observations.

Regarding the flashback scene of Uika and Sakiko as kids... Uika is blushing here when Sakiko is not.

Normally I wouldn't think anything of this, because that's just how the models are (for instance, Sakiko's casual clothes model seems to always have the blush regardless of her mood, while Oblivionis of course doesn't; Uika's model also doesn't have a constant blush), but this scene was hand drawn. It's more deliberate. I don't want to insinuate that this implies Uika cares more about Sakiko than Sakiko cares about Uika because I don't think that's what they meant here at all, just that these specific memories may hold different meaning to Uika than they do for Sakiko. Perhaps more importantly though (and even less obvious) is that Uika's hair looks longer in the shot of them looking at the stars than it was for their meeting and the bug catching. It makes you wonder how much time may have passed between those two memories. (I do recognize this may have just been a continuity error of sorts, but she is wearing a different outfit too)

In Sakiko's conversation to Nyamu, she hints that she got Uika for her band because of Sumimi's popularity. This is interesting to me because in episode 7, she absolutely... glares? at the Sumimi music video.

...Which makes you wonder how she really felt looking at it. In any case, I don't think it was just for the fame because you don't exactly call somebody and tell them to help you forget everything if it's just for the money. That's a pretty intimate thing to ask somebody, and especially for Sakiko who up until then had been actively avoiding speaking anything from her heart. We also know that Uika does the lyrics for Ave Mujica, so we can truly only make guesses as to what transpired between their talk and the final episode...

Oh, also, when Sakiko calls Uika, she blushes. Which feels pretty notable to me when seconds beforehand she was in "cool, kind of broody idol" mode.

As for the last episode...

When Nyamu asks if she can go to Uika's place, she says yes! It makes you wonder how close she is with everyone by this point, and also what her home life looks like.

This one is sold on the voice work, but she sounds super happy to get to see Sakiko.

This also happens at the end of the episode, when she asks if she can ride the train home with Sakiko despite the fact she got there in a cab. I wrote my thoughts about this here, but it is interesting to me how it implies she might not know about Sakiko's home life at this point.

For this line, it's not lost on me how similar this dialogue is in reflection to what Doloris says in their stage play immediately after; with Oblivionis talking about them being dolls, and Doloris questioning her every word. It's as if she'd turned into Doloris the second she put her mask on...

Tying it all together

What's striking to me is that in all the trailers for the Ave Mujica anime―which by all means will be where we learn more about Uika―we've only seen one shot of her.

The rest have been Doloris. From this we can presume that the doll lore from their concerts will be relevant to the actresses, we just don't know to what extent.

It's scary really, because... seriously, even if Uika does feel like an empty shell, there's more to it than just that. And despite all of my analysis up until this point, I have not a single clue what her actual deal could be. Even after I post this, I'll continue to watch her scenes over and over, trying to piece things together with what little we have right now.

I'll be very interested to see both Doloris and Uika in the upcoming anime, and in what ways the lines between them are blurred.

[thisiskatsblog]

Sad today.

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[pears-trinkets]

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