#and while i think he was a bit overly negative about some aspects of it

[silent-partner-412]

it’s been pointed out to me that the map in zelda: echoes of wisdom looks a lot like the one in link to the past and link between worlds and suddenly i’m getting nervous about this game. theres a lot that i see that makes me think the game could either be incredible or an absolute flop, and it would really suck for zelda’s first outing for herself to be the latter.

[prince-liest]

I just wanna gush bc omg I love the 666 series so much. I think it made me realize I might be... furry-ish? adjacent? I just find it so satisfying how you go into detail about the unique body features of both of them, the way it feels to have deer ears or kiss a TV and just generally how much thought is put into the way their bodies work, and I've realized that my interest in that kind of idea is a pretty good reason to partake in more explicitly furry media lmao. Anyways

I'm also really in love with how you maintain the balance of each of their personality traits. Vox is simultaneously so pathetic and cringefail (also your dialogue for him is perfect, I can hear it crystal clear in my head) but also he has vastly more emotional intelligence than Alastor, no doubt at least in part because he has to deal with Val, and he's able to marginally calm down with his obsession to deal with sticky situations, but even then he still retains his personality and bumbles things sometimes because of the flaws in said personality! It's great. I also really appreciate the balance you've struck with Alastor, I feel like often Alastor is either written to either soften up so immediately that it feels disconnected from his character or is written overly mean and heartless for my liking and the way you've written him is such a delicious balance between softer aspects such as the prey instincts or moments of vulnerability and his untouchable and manipulative self, and also the way this side of him is neither written as wholly a front or wholly his real nature and the complex ways this makes him struggle with his increasing vulnerability. TL;DR arghgr your characterization is so good it makes me go a little feral

Also while I'm here, I'm curious whether you can give an answer to the degree to which Alastor is touch-averse. There's obviously a lot of ways in which he fundamentally dislikes touch but it also seems like there's at least some kinds of touch where he doesn't dislike the touch itself so much as he's afraid of the way it brings about feelings of caring and/or enjoyment being cared for. I'm curious how much, in general, you would say his touch aversion comes from either cause and possibly what kinds of touch do/don't provoke those flavors of aversion

Omg, what a lovely ask to receive. Honestly, everything you said that you enjoy about how I characterize these two is very much what I've been actively gunning for, so it's an absolute delight to see it outlined back to me. Success!!! Thank you so much!

And ahaha - I'm not a furry but I fucking love inhuman characters. Being raised in the pits of Homestuck fantroll RP made me enjoy the whole "they're bug/fish aliens" thing and it definitely rears its head again any time I encounter characters with inhuman qualities. I love writing Vox's TV/computer-ness and Alastor's deer and radio bits, and integrating them into who they now are as people.

As for Alastor's touch-aversion: It's funny that you ask about this, because the next chapter of 666 is going to dive into it a bit. Specifically into the fact that it's not, like, a set of boundaries that is consistently defined, and I write him that way on purpose. The very first time he and Vox sleep together, Alastor bottoms. He becomes significantly less amenable to touch after he goes through an uncomfortable rut cycle that gets sexual. By the time Vox convinces Alastor to fuck him, Alastor would never let Vox do that again and frankly only agrees to topping because Vox gave him an option that didn't involve getting his dick out. Then in the next episode, they're having clothes-off sexual contact. So, what gives?

Things that play into Alastor's willingness to touch and be touched as far as Vox is concerned:

How does he see Vox at that point in time? Disgustingly entitled (ew)? Hilariously beneath him (haha who cares)?

Does he care about what Vox thinks of him? Does Vox touching him draw his attention to positive or negative assumptions he has about Vox's perspective on doing so?

What value has he attached to this particular touch in the power balance of their relationship? Is he humoring Vox? Does he assume Vox thinks he's owed this? Does he perceive it as something Vox is genuinely doing for him?

Has he tried this particular kind of touch before? He's pretty willing to experiment, but that doesn't mean he'll do something twice without a compelling reason if he didn't like it the first time.

Is he getting off on this situation sexually? If so, is it fully willing (read: not a byproduct of uncomfortable hormones) on his part? That only really happens when he's in a submissive role and Vox is hitting a few very specific kinks, a major one of which is basically CNC tilted 30 degrees to the left.

Is he enjoying the touch in platonic ways? How does he feel about that? Is it a vulnerability to want something? Is it feeding his ego to be catered to? Is he worried that what he enjoys platonically is being read into in ways he doesn't like?

Is he fucking drunk? Things that bother you when sober often seem like a non-issue when you're not, both on a physical and emotional level.

How much touching has been happening recently? Has he hit his limit? Did he deliberately put himself into a situation earlier to have his limit be hit and surpassed, and now he's in the aftermath?

He does have a certain fundamental purely physical dislike of touch, but it's something that is really affected by how he perceives each individual situation as well as his relationship with Vox at that time, and his previous experiences!

[o-uncle-newt]

We don't talk enough about the Petherbridge/Walter adaptations of the Wimsey/Vane novels.

(Well, we probably talk EXACTLY enough about Gaudy Night, which is really pretty bad, but besides for that...)

(Sorry, just a warning, Richard Morant as Bunter is fine but I won't have much to say about him here. I just really like this picture.)

The casting is basically perfect, especially Harriet Walter as Harriet Vane. I no longer see the book character in any other way- the only notable difference is that in the book she's noted as having a deep voice, but Walter's has a distinctive enough tone that I think it works regardless. She is just so, so, so good- captures the character beautifully, sells everything she does whether mundane or ridiculous (probably the best/most realistic reaction of someone finding a body I have EVER seen in Have His Carcase), makes the most of every limited minute she's on screen in Strong Poison and leaves her mark every minute that she isn't... and she looks AMAZING doing all of it. Just perfect, could not imagine better casting.

Edward Petherbridge I don't hold up to that level of perfection- I think that, try as he might, he's not really able to capture Wimsey's dynamism (possibly because he's a bit too old for the role) and is a bit overly caricatured in many of his mannerisms. But overall he does a pretty good job, in addition to looking quite a lot like how I'd imagined Wimsey- but in particular, I think he does a really lovely job of selling a lot of the emotion that he has to convey in some scenes that feel like they SHOULDN'T be adaptable from the book- specifically the scenes of him and Harriet. Him proposing to Harriet, him being disappointed when she (completely reasonably) turns him down... those shouldn't work on screen with real humans rather than in Sayers's calculated prose, but it DOES work and in no small part because he's great at selling Wimsey's feelings as being genuine even when his actions seem over the top. And, of course, Harriet Walter sells her end of the scenes right back. All in all, I think I have mixed feelings about Petherbridge as Lord Peter Wimsey the detective, but I'm a fan of him as Peter, the man who has feelings for Harriet.

Overall, though, both are, I think, very successful in capturing these characters- the fact that they take these people who even in the book can sometimes push the boundaries of likeability (which to be clear, is part of what I love about reading them) and make them eminently watchable is a great achievement. And also, in addition to their really looking like their characters individually, they're very well matched as a pair in the way that one pictures them from the book. They're even of very similar height and build, which we know is canonically true from Gaudy Night, and thus at least a somewhat relevant element of their dynamic.

Now, the adaptations are very uneven, and that's even without talking about Gaudy Night because, while it has about as good a rendition of the punting scene as I think we were ever going to get, most of the rest of it is crap and massively expands on what I think are serious problems to Peter and Harriet's relationship that the series as a whole had (not to mention cutting the character of St George, which is a travesty). None of the adaptations are perfect, and mess with aspects of their relationship in negative ways- for example, the ending of Strong Poison is exactly backward in a really awful way. I'll get back to this.

But when the show gets the two of them right, it gets them RIGHT, even when it's adapting Sayers's text/creating new dialogue. There are scenes in this one that I love almost as much as the canon text, like this one:

I don't think any of this is in the book, and there are things that happen here that I don't think Sayers would have ever written. But at the same time, a combination of the dialogue and the actors makes it COMPLETELY believable as these two people, and it captures a moment that is just really key for Peter as he faces his limitations and his feelings- something that in the book is conveyed through a lot of internal narrative on Peter's part that would be impossible to adapt as is, but that in the world of the show needed to happen in a much more visual and narrative way. Not all of the dialogue that this series chooses to fill in those gaps works, but even when it doesn't the actors do their best to sell the heck out of it, and when the dialogue DOES work it is seriously brilliant.

Probably my favorite of the adaptations is Have His Carcase, and scenes like this one are a big part of the reason why:

They change the location, but otherwise it's EXTRAORDINARILY faithful to the equivalent scene in the book, and honestly it shouldn't have worked with real people doing it and yet it does. It's just acted perfectly, given just enough arch and silly humor (particularly with the spinning door) that we don't attempt to take it too seriously, while also conveying the relevant emotions so well. The actors in the scene through only their faces and ways of speaking convey subtext that Sayers, in the book, conveyed a lot later on as actual text in the characters' thoughts, and there's something pretty great about that.

Other Have His Carcase scenes are less good (the dance scene is mediocre at best, I think), but if there's another Have His Carcase scene that I think illustrates how great Walter and Petherbridge are at selling the human sides of their characters, it's That Argument- seen here:

The Argument is a pale imitation of that in the book- the one in the book is, in fact, probably unadaptable as is- but it is still just so good because the actors are so good at selling it. Walter is just brilliant in the role and utterly inhabits it while also imbuing it with her own spin, and makes us feel Harriet's pain- and Petherbridge, through some relatively subtle facial expressions and reactions, is able just as well to make US understand what all of this means to him and how he feels. It's actually really remarkable that, just like how Sayers writes a relationship dynamic that only feels like it works because she's the one who wrote it that very specific way, this scene feels like it only works because these two actors play it in this specific way. Could two other actors do it? Very possibly, but it would feel super different and I wonder if it would feel this authentic. (I do want to note though that this scene made me really wish that we'd seen a Frasier-era David Hyde Pierce in the role of a younger and spryer, but equally posh, witty, and vulnerable, Wimsey. It just gave me vibes of something that he'd do beautifully.)

Now, as I said above, this doesn't get EVERYTHING right. In fact, quite a lot of their relationship ends up going pretty wrong- as I think a major mistake is their throughline which emphasizes Peter's continued pursuit of Harriet as not just reiterating his interest to make it clear that he hasn't changed his mind, but actively taking advantage of moments and situations in a romantic sense, taking a much more specific role in engaging with her physically, commenting on her appearance, saying how difficult it is for him to NOT pursue her more, etc. It makes the whole thing feel a lot more cat-and-mouse rather than a budding relationship of equals, and one where Peter acknowledges the whole time that they HAVE to be equals for a) Harriet to feel comfortable with him and b) them to be good together. In fact, however good the Argument above is, it's kind of undercut by this very pattern- he makes the book's point about him treating his feelings like something out of a comic opera, but he also at that point in the story has had a few much more oppressively serious scenes with her that clearly make her uncomfortable- nothing like anything in a comic opera. It's like the show misses the point a little.

I think the place where this really starts is at the end of Strong Poison. (I could see an argument to be made that it starts earlier, in a few smaller nuances of their jailhouse scenes, but I like those enough that I choose not to read into them too much lol.) After what I think is a great addition to the final jailhouse scene (one that I loved so much I repurposed it for a fic)- "it's supposed to be about love, isn't it" and some excellent reactions from Petherbridge- Harriet goes to court, her charges are dismissed, and unlike in the book, when it's Wimsey who leaves first (which Eiluned and Sylvia point out is a sign of his decency in not waiting for Harriet to thank him), here Wimsey is the one who watches as Harriet rejects him and walks away from him- the beginning of the chase. But nothing about their relationship is meant to be a chase! It's so frustrating to watch as that proceeds to be a continuing issue to a limited degree in Have His Carcase (where it's at least balanced by enough good moments that it doesn't matter so much) and to a MASSIVE, genuinely uncomfortable degree in Gaudy Night.

The only praise I will give it is that while the punt scene in the book is unfilmable, I think this adaptation did its best here and it's pretty good.

I'm not going to spend much time talking about Gaudy Night otherwise, because I'd need all day for it and also I'd probably need to rewatch it to make sure I get the details right and I have zero interest in doing that, but the way that it has Wimsey imposing himself and his feelings/hopes on Harriet to a really ridiculous degree, in a way that he never, ever does in the book, is just so so discomfiting and makes me feel terrible for Harriet. She doesn't deserve that. If I recall correctly, in that scene at the dance at the beginning, she's so happy just being with him and then he's all "oh so this means you want to marry me" and she just droops. He's so aggressive!

And that's what makes the worst part so bad, because not only does this miniseries not depict Wimsey's apology as the book does- one of the best scenes in a book full of brilliant scenes- it would actually be weird if it did, because this show doesn't imply that there's ANYTHING for Wimsey to be apologizing for! In fact, unlike in the books where we see Wimsey growing and deconstructing the parts of himself that had been demanding of Harriet, in the series we only see him get more demanding- until finally he wins. It's honestly infuriating and I hate it- the actors do their best to sell it (and apparently they were given bad enough material that they actually had to rewrite some of it themselves, though I have mixed feelings about the results) but it is just massively disappointing. Basically the whole emotional journey between the two of them is not just neutered but twisted.

For all of my criticisms of the adaptations' all around approach to their relationship, I do have to reiterate- Walter and Petherbridge do a wonderful, wonderful job. (Especially Walter.) When they're given good material to work with, and even often when they aren't, they are able to sell it so well- and particularly in the case of Walter, I genuinely can't think of the character as anyone but her rendition now. She IS Harriet Vane for me. And, for all the flaws that the series has, that's something pretty dang special.

Anyway, for anyone who read through this whole thing and hasn't seen these adaptations, I DO recommend Strong Poison and Have His Carcase- but not Gaudy Night unless you're either really curious or a glutton for punishment. The first two, though, have very good supporting casts, are quite faithful plot wise (sometimes to a fault- another flaw is that they are really devoted to conveying the whole mystery with all its clues sometimes to the point of dragginess, but will drop sideplots like, for example, Parker and Mary- which is totally reasonable, but still vaguely disappointing as those sideplots tend to add some levity/characterization), and just generally are an overall good time. (Some standout characters for me are Miss Climpson in Strong Poison and Mrs Lefranc in Have His Carcase.) And, of course, the best part is seeing the little snippets of Peter and Harriet that come through- less so their journey, vs in the book where that's central, but so many scenes where we just see the two of them together as they are in that moment and it's so satisfying.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Talking with @milfcutlawquane and @lost-on-kamino about AU stuff always yields amazing results. I love you guys <3

Previous Posts: [X] [X] [X] 501st Species Swap Examples: [X]

There are clones that take longer to change species. This is either due not having any impactful experience with another species of sentient and thus the infection process stalling, or due to not being in contact with other clones for very long periods of time.

Examples of clones who take a while to change are:

Ponds, who worked primarily with humans so it took a while for a species to actually stand out and stick with him (getting abducted by bounty hunters sure leaves an impact on a person).

Boba, who was majorly isolated from other clones so he became infected when he came into contact with Ponds and the clone officer (even so his changes only began when he entered puberty, so for a while he thought he was immune).

Gregor, who was MIA for a very long while so he wasn't exposed until he regained his memories and managed to get back to the GAR all on his own (some people started making bets on what he'd become due to him being virtually the last fully grown clone to be affected).

Another set of fun developments from my conversations with Rey and Rogue are:

Ponds gets to survive in this AU and he decides to take in Boba rather than just let the kid get tossed into prison. It takes some convincing (not because Mace doesn't think Boba learning from the clones wouldn't be good, but because he's concerned the war will not give anyone the time necessary to actually get the kid on the right track), but Ponds gets his way and he's officially named Boba's custodian. The kid also has mandatory supervised community service and classes he has to take, but honestly he's got it good compared to the alternative.

Ponds becomes a Palliduvan due to his encounter with Aurra Sing, and Boba becomes a Trandoshan a year after he's taken in by Ponds.

Cody becomes a Kaleesh, which honestly surprises no one considering the 212th's close shaves with General Grievous. He has joked about potentially altering his bucket to resemble a mixture of clone helmet and Kaleesh mask, since people keep remarking his face looks a little naked when bare.

Gree becomes a Mirialan, which he uses as an opportunity to learn more about their culture and customs. By showing a newfound eagerness to learn from them, Gree and the rest of his battalion become much closer to Luminara and Barriss. This has a majorly positive impact on Barriss especially.

Wolffe has to learn to come to terms with the trauma Ventress caused him since he's become a Dathomirian. He feels isolated from the rest of the 104th who've become Kel Dor, and it doesn't feel fair to him that she stole more than his eye from him, and that she had more of an effect on him than he's comfortable admitting to.

Bly finds that thanks to him and the majority of his men now sharing a species with their general, Aayla is no longer the center of unwanted attentions. He knows his general can handle herself (and would have no qualms beating up anyone who tried anything funny), but it always bothered him that some people had a tendency to openly drool while watching her. As it stands now, it's hard to find one attractive Twi'lek lady among many attractive Twi'lek men, although come to think of it, now they're all being gawked at which is not ideal either. That's the only aspect of being a Twi'lek he's not overly fond of. The blatant fetishization.

Fox has no option but to just accept he's an Amaran for reasons unknown to him and has to learn how to keep his emotions hidden all over again. His poker face is still flawless, but now he has a tail that reacts to his moods and it's a bit of a nightmare learning how to control it. It doesn't help that his Commanders and Shinies all seem enthralled by the dang thing.

There's a lot of positives to the change, but they do not outweigh the one negative that sets the Coruscant Guard on edge: Why is it that now that they don't look like clones, people suddenly accept that they're not soulless meatdroids? They have ALWAYS been individuals, so why should a change of species/appearance be the thing that convinces the people that used to not trust/hate them? The Guard doesn't like how shallow a change of perspective this is, and only trust the few people who've always been kind to them.

[cosmicheartz]

Kinda disjointed ramblings abt future au Raz and his relationships with the new interns/former campers ( and the former interns/JAs )

So I personally hc why Raz in pn2 was a lot more softer was bc the motherlobe is an extremely diff environment from camp along with being around people a lot older than him plus it being the headquarters of the psychonauts which he idolizes and dreams of becoming one. ( I also think he was lowkey masking in a sense )

As he gets older he becomes.. I don’t wanna say fully disillusioned but like he’s been around the block and knows all the positives and negatives of being a psychonaut. He’s also a lot more comfortable with the former interns/JAs in terms of being able to joke around with em ( also he and Norma butt heads like a lot )

When the new interns/former campers arrive at the motherlobe his relationship with them varies so here’s like a rundown of it

DOGEN: they’re like the ultimate bros/besties. You often see them together hanging out, doing psychonauts stuff etc.

I also think Raz helps Dogen out with controlling his blastokinesis and all that stuff and Raz is like Dogens unofficial mentor in some aspects too.

CRYSTAL: so I think the gravity of the whole suicide pact thing she and Clem had didn’t hit Raz until he was like.. 13-14? So he ends up feeling really really bad about it and when Crystal enters the program he sorta walks on eggshells around her at first and is overly nice to her.

Crystal catches on and she and Raz have a whole talk about it and how she’s doing a lot better and he doesn’t have to act like she will break at any moment. After that their relationship is pretty close. I wouldn’t say they’re like super best friends but they hang out often and Raz tries to help out Crystal if she’s having a rough mental health day ( and vice versa bc I think Raz should have some comfort )

PHOEBE: outside of Phoebes one sided jealousy/grudge thing against Raz during her first few months as an intern they’re pretty much just acquaintances/co workers.

They do sorta hang out since Crystal is very close with Phoebe but outside of that they barely talk/interact unless it’s for work

QUENTIN: also just acquaintances but a little bit more close/friendly with eachother. After Quentin decides to drop the intern program they barely interact unless their paths cross with eachother ( like at a bar where Quentin would be like “ Yoo Raz! It’s been a while my man “ and buys him a drink or something and they catch up a bit )

KITTY: pretty much their camp dynamic but worse. Raz doesn’t like her and Kitty doesn’t like him and they constantly butt heads/insult each other if possible.

Usually Kitty makes a snide remark at him and he shoots one back but sometimes Raz will be the instigator just because he can. When she eventually leaves the intern program Raz is very happy about it.

And Since I hc that Kitty is sort of double agent esque when she’s older ( while she’s not affiliated with the Psychonauts anymore she sometimes will help them but will also sometimes help the villian/antagonists if it benefits her ) their paths cross semi frequently and while their dynamic isn’t as hostile as it was during camp/the intern program they still don’t get along and Kitty will take any given opportunity to mess with Raz

The closest comparison I have is the dynamic between Tanya Keys and Mao Mao but without the ex romantic partners undertones

FRANKE: they have a mutual dislike of each other but aren’t as harsh to each other like Raz and Kitty are. Honestly I think Raz sorta pities Franke for sticking around with Kitty.

VERNON: Similar to Phoebe tbh though Raz does get annoyed with Vernon’s story ramblings sometimes.

MIKHAIL: Raz and Misha didn’t really interact before Misha’s disappearance. Only occasionally interacting since Sam was Mishas mentor and bc Raz is friends with her and close friends with her brother sometimes Misha would be there when Raz hung out with one/both of them.

idk how theyd be when they cross paths as adults but Raz is kinda relived Misha didnt fucking die

ELKA: relatively similar to their camp dynamic. They don't get along and while their dynamic isn't as bad as Raz and Kittys it doesnt stop them from making snarky remarks and thinly veiled threats at eachother. And since theres the added thing of Elka and Dogen being close they sometimes are forced to be in proximity of eachother and they have to force themselves to tolerate the other.

CLEM: oh boy this one’s a doozy

To start I hc Clem joins a bit late ( around 16 ) so Raz doesn’t do the walking on eggshells thing like he did with Crystal. He does however try to help him bc teen/intern Clem is a hot mess but bc Clem is rude/cold to almost everyone he doesn’t really get anywhere.

Raz keeps trying though ( a bit of a savior complex thing tbh ) but over time Clems attitude starts to wear him down ( extra note: Crystal also went through the same thing with Clem during his last years at whispering rock )

Then one day Clem goes too far and makes a really nasty remark about Razs family which causes Raz to snap and go off at him ( which then results in a fight ). After that Raz and Clem do not like eachother and actively avoid one another.

( they lowkey have bitter exes energy tbh and it’s not rlly helped by the fact i hc Clem had a crush on Raz at some point )

Eventually Crystal convinces Raz to go with her into Clems mind in a last ditch effort to help his mental state and he agrees. Afterwards when Clem is on his mental health recovery journey they make up and become friends.

And tbh that’s about it. Maybe I’ll get into his relationships with the campers who didn’t do the intern program but idk.

[crytidsprinkles]

ID: Umbrella Academy members all standing in a room raising shots to drink with each other.

Wow I’m really disappointed. There’s so much about the last season of Umbrella Academy that is promising. I am however NOT happy about the negative portrayal of mask wearing and mask wearers. I don’t understand the new characterization of Klaus. He’s written to be perceived as overly cautious, but comes across as insensitive and cartoonish. Which is an odd choice.

Not to mention a concerning one given how stigmatized substance abuse disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety and finally usage of PPE are all already. Trivialized and invalidated too. Media portrayal can and has been documented to have a significant impact culturally, socially and even can politically.

It is in incredibly poor taste to characterize Klaus this way, after portraying his traumas with such sensitivity in the past. Also showing him on screen, ticking boxes for certain recognizable mental health conditions in the most cartoonish clownish way possible, doesn’t come across as self aware or as if Klaus is using humor to cope (or that the writers get such problems) but turns it into a punchline at his expense. And the writers and show runners manage to portray both mental health conditions, as well as people using and who us PPE to practice public health and personal health protection terribly.

Which is something I didn’t need as someone who both has multiple disabilities including several like the ones depicted, and someone who uses PPE to protect myself and others in a pandemic that has not ended, is far from funny and amidst other disease outbreaks that are being handled intentionally piss poorly by official health organization around the globe. I think this final season may negatively add fuel to the fire of ableism and eugenics that informed, caring and or oppressed people (including disabled) have been dealing with, especially the last almost 5 years.

ID: 47.952 fps.C4 episode 406 Scene 5 through X Take 1 aspect ratio 2 3 8: 1 -35 s A4 4 director Neville kid camera Michael Marshall. Counter, neon red, illuminated "00.26.53.18

Yes the show has quite a comedic beat, however tonally thus far the show is having trouble balancing it with more dramatic or serious moments. It’s as if it can’t manage to commit to them in season 4. The show runners can’t seem to resist injecting humor even when it���s not warranted. I’m not sure if they were worried about the tone becoming too intense and heavy, but some of the best comedy comes from tragedy.

It is possible to play Klaus’s struggles straight and have comedic notes. Not in anything that he says, but how it lands and the other characters react and interact with him. Or perhaps him making morbid or sardonic jokes. I’m not totally sure where the story is going, it seems to have promise so I’ll reserve my verdict on that for now. It’s difficult that almost everyone’s acting seems…off, like being off beat, unsuccessfully, so you can’t find the rhythm so it’s challenging to listen to. Ugh, pacing issues I guess I’d say. Standout performances I think hit the mark or much better than the others is timeline 2’s Ben, Lila, Jean and Gene — a bit strange but they’re definitely hilarious and entertaining —,

I can foresee myself enjoying the story while not caring for certain aspects of the direction and acting. I will say season 4 does not feel like the others, but in a way that it does not compliment or is relative to them. Without proper grounding, tone, and pacing the other elements DO NOT work. It ends up feeling like a fairly different series. There’s nothing wrong with a show going in a different direction for the conclusion, I just find it disappointing it’s as if it’s made itself into a joke and becoming an exaggerated parody of itself. A piece of media not taking itself seriously tends to land one of two ways, a very fun time or anatomy of a failure.

[milimeters-morales]

So Peter’s approach to Miles’s destruction is to give tips on how to destroy them without accidentally getting unwanted people involved in the process, like how to actually hunt in the way Peter sometimes hunts and not lose himself entirely. He sees how overly excited and frantic Miles gets when he’s tearing into a Prototype, so he teaches him how to be in control with different strategies like isolating the robot or tricking it in some way, how the environment he’s in can affect his chances of actually destroying it, when to realize it’s not worth it (one of the most difficult lessons) and just give up on that hunt, stuff like that. Peter is genuinely helping using his own experience hunting down humans and and small animals, and it makes Miles sick but the advice does help so he appreciates it in a strange way, and is starting to sort of become desensitized to Peter’s actions towards others in a way and further attached to him. ruh roh raggy

(Aaron and Matt under the cut)

Aaron actually doesn’t disagree with Miles destroying Prototypes, he’s just worried that the robots will be made more advanced by Alchemax based off of the ways Miles defeats them, which will only make them harder for Miles to fight and increase the risk entirely, so instead he tries to steer Miles towards his old hobbies! Miles used to draw a TON, and for several reasons he stopped, and it always calmed him down and was a way to communicate, make friends, be more involved in his community, and just have fun. He also loved helping animals whenever he could, but he also stopped for several reasons, so Aaron tries to get him to do both of these things again, which he hopes will get Miles interested in new hobbies and topics as well. It’s hard since he isn’t always around to see if Miles is actually sticking with the hobbies and enjoying them, but he trusts Miles to be honest about that. They have a good relationship, but it’s just a bit complicated since Miles has gotten so used to Aaron not being around as often despite being his guardian that it’s hard to just act like Aaron has always and will always be there even if he accepts it. He’s sort of got this “why do all this work if my uncle’s not even gonna be around to see it, what does any of this matter when i have a working system already??” mentality that he’s not telling anyone about :/ Aaron has had a few thoughts when it gets very tough, about just letting Miles join him in doing Prowler work so they spend time together, Aaron can keep an eye on him, and he gets his energy out the way he’s used to, but mans quickly shuts that down .

Matt discourages him fighting the Prototypes entirely for more or less the same reason Aaron doesn’t like Miles fighting them. It gives Alchemax countless opportunities to improve and make them stronger against people fighting back with the amount of times Miles faces them, but he also sees this as first and foremost unnecessary endangerment of a child when said child has several adults perfectly capable of helping him out (and i mean. yeah.), & as a gateway to destroying whatever or eventually whoever he feels like because Matt doesn’t fully agree with Peter’s version of teaching Miles control. He likes and supports that Peter’s helping Miles not freak out while he’s… like that, but he thinks Peter focuses way too much on the “we’re in this emotion now, here’s how to minimize casualties and have the most fun!” aspect rather than the “we can avoid getting to this point entirely” one. He thinks Peter is being immature and not thinking far ahead enough, which is a dynamic im glad i can keep in this world btw! He tries to give Miles other actual (healthy) coping mechanisms and tips so upsetting stuff is a bit easier to handle, and he won’t just be a walking ball of frustration and other negative feelings until he can beat the shit out of something, and will frequently tell him that fighting isn’t always the answer. Miles typically ignores him about that, because he sees Matt as a giant hypocrite just like Peter rather than someone who is trying to help him not turn out so violent and angry, but somewhere deep down he wants to agree with Matt since it’s the same thing his mom or dad would probably say and he looks up to them.

(also, about Matt finding Peter immature and short-sighted, i think it’s also a bit sad because Peter doesn’t remember anything about his old life and doesn’t really act the way he used to, but still manages to frustrate Matt in the same way he always did anytime they had to work together, and Matt, in his most desperate moments, would do anything to have those moments back. lol. lmao even)

[oreganosbaby]

do you think cis girl roman would still have problems/hang-ups with sexuality and fucking?

Lmao sorry for taking 80 years to answer this but here it is.

The short answer is yes, because all the Roys have them. The long answer is yes, but they're probably not gonna be totally the same for obvious reasons. The fun of AUs as a "thought experiment" is attempting to keep a character recognisable while they're in an extremely different context.

In canon, Roman's issues with sex are rooted in his self disgust which is informed by the negative opinions of him expressed by his father and generally, his father's own disgust toward the body. Roman feels he is unable to live up to Logan's idea of masculine sexuality which requires him to be the dominant active party, the one who "fucks" rather than "gets fucked." In Logan's mind, the active party isn't surveilled because he is acting to the object, the passive party. Roman is fundementally unable to do that in a genuine way due to his negative Oedipus complex. He is only able to be submissive and passive, the object, but he feels disgust over this. Logan, or rather the Imagined Father functions as his super ego, constantly surveilling him, criticising him. The result is a degredation kink because this meets two crucial desires: absolution and validation of his own poor self image/being Seen in an "honest" way. Both, however, could be seen as assuming a Logan-esque role. It's supposed to be a fantasy wherein his "father" sees him for who he is and accepts him or ideally, loves him regardless. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the Imagined Father still being tethered to the Real Father, which leaves the desire for this to happen with Logan, albeit platonically.

In an AU where Roman is a cis girl, the aspects about masculinity would have to be altered slightly as Logan would be more leniant toward a woman being submissive and passive; however, these still aren't respectable traits to Logan. Even if it doesn't inspire the same disgust he feels toward effeminacy, he wouldn't be able to feel a strong emotional bond with Roman because he still wouldn't understand her nor would he see any real "use" for her. Like in canon, I don't think he'd be able to fully reject her because (among other things) he does love his children, so would still feel some kind of patronising sympathy toward her. That being said, a lot of Roman’s other issues would be able remain because Logan would be mostly the same person. He would not be able to understand her or accept her as she is and within her “feminine” Oedipus complex, the Imagined Father will still be very much attached to the Real one making it particularly difficult to resolve, especially as an adult. The self-disgust, especially toward the body, is likely to remain as well as the self-objectification, so her intimacy issues will create similar results to her canon counterpart’s. 

The biggest difference is obviously the physical aspect: primarily, Roman’s “impotence” and the preoccupation with the masculine physique as per fascist ideals, something I assume really started to manifest during his sexually formative years at military school. The former is easy to sort of translate as a similar psychosexual dysfunction, but the latter would likely be a bit less significant. I don’t see Logan sending his daughter to military school, but I do think that there would still be (Catholic?) boarding school for his overly affectionate/dependent daughter. Roman’s perpetual discomfort with his body would still be there, but I think as a cis girl, the element of vanity rooted in self-objectification would be slightly more obvious since it’s more socially normative for women to self-surveil. This would show in both her restrictive eating and styling choices.

Lastly, I think she would still be every bit the charming edgelord Roman is in canon. For all her sexual neuroses, she would still be flirtatious-- seductive even. She’s functionally a tease and I assume, would have a bit of a reputation as such. Whether this would be useful to Logan in business is... questionable and a topic for another post. There’s probably a lot of other ways to frame her chastity (though I think it’s best if her virginity proper were to be as ambiguous as in canon). Since she’s in her 30s, she’s awfully close to becoming a spinster and for someone who sees herself as Baby, it would be hard to come to terms with losing the social currency of youth as a woman.

[waheelawhisperer]

I was gonna try to clear out a few asks today and maybe respond to some reblogs, but then I saw this post on my dash and started getting emotional because it really helped put something I've been thinking about for a while into words, even though I am neither this post's subject nor its target audience, so instead I decided to just shitpost a bit and then get my feelings out. I didn't feel comfortable reblogging the post even though I think a good bit of it is also applicable to me because I didn't want to turn this into an example of a straight white man making everything about him somehow and taking focus away from marginalized groups, but I did want to express my thoughts and feelings because they exist and matter to me.

I'm a bit less put together than I usually am when I post, so forgive me if I start to ramble or use terminology incorrectly or misinterpret aspects of LGBTQ or BDSM culture.

Ironically, despite my most recent Arknights shitpost, I'm... actually absolutely freaking terrified to express any serious desire to be sexually dominant - and I do have those desires (don't get me wrong, a strong, confident woman taking control is really hot, all you have to do is read my various shitposts to know I'm happy to sub, but the fact that I even feel like I have to qualify my desire to be dominant with "I also enjoy subbing" is the perfect illustration of my point). Men being submissive is treated as funny, like the setup to a joke about subverting typical sexual/gender roles. Men being dominant, despite what tumblr "punish me, daddy" thirstposting may lead you to believe, is often treated as threatening. Predatory.

This is especially true in the case of men who are attracted to women, at least from what I've seen. I'm very scared to approach women I'm interested in, because women in turn are scared of strange men. It's a justifiable attitude. There are more than enough shitty men out there that it makes sense for women to adopt that coldness, that wariness, as a defense mechanism. Given how much of the tumblr userbase, especially the userbase that participates in the same fandoms I do and thus might realistically be considered my audience, is female, I imagine that many of the people reading this post have had negative interactions with men who don't respect their boundaries or even treat them as human beings, and I am by no means trying to downplay that very real and reasonable fear. I'm just trying to explain how these circumstances and attitudes have shaped my own interactions with women.

The result of this need to watch out for danger is that unless you are a stunningly attractive man, women are on guard when they talk to you. I'm not a stunningly attractive man. Oh, I'm decent-looking, don't get me wrong (admittedly, my status as a proud short king is apparently a dealbreaker for many women, but there's not much I can do about that) - I'm in good shape, I bathe regularly and take adequate care of my skin and hair/facial hair, I wear clothes that fit me and aren't horribly unfashionable, I've been told I have pretty eyes and a nice voice, etc. - but I'm not the kind of heartthrob that can walk into a room and command the attention of every woman in it. I'm not a complete mess socially, but I'm not overly charismatic either, and I'm shy and awkward around people I don't know. As a result, when I approach a woman, she ain't thinking "wow, he's talking to me <3", she's thinking "who's this freaking weirdo, I hope he goes away before I have to pepper spray him".

Because of all this, I try to be nonthreatening. I try to be harmless, and that means repressing anything that might frighten the people around me, whether that be anger, personal conviction, or the desire to (consensually) pin a girl down and rail her. I'm terrified of scaring away potential partners just by having normal human desires and emotions, and it takes a mental toll.

I grew up (and still live) in Texas, which is not exactly a wellspring of progressive attitudes towards anything, much less women and relationships and sex and sexuality. I've been taught since I was very young that men, like me, should protect and alternately defer to or "care for" women (in a very patronizing and controlling sense), and in return, our reward was sex. While my immediate family was never this backwards, I can't say the same about the world around me at large, and the media I consumed (and still consume, because we've made progress but by no means conquered the issue) absolutely bombarded me with the idea that sex was not a thing women enjoyed. Sex was an activity they engaged in reluctantly, if at all, something they gave to men in exchange for whatever nebulously-defined benefits those men brought to the table, which were usually few, enumerated in derisive fashion, and far outweighed by the inherent flaws men possess for the crime of existing. I was taught that sex was a thing men enjoyed and women endured. I was taught that sex was transactional at best, a thing to be earned for good behavior because a woman would never want it for its own sake outside of procreation, and outright undesirable for half the participants at worst, forced upon women by brutish, animalistic men who could never be anything better than lust-ridden beasts.

This is without even mentioning the incredibly heavy, pervasive cultural influence of Christianity in America, and Texas in particular. I'm sure we're all well aware of how Christianity treats sex and sexuality and sexual expression, so I'm not going to go too deep into that, but rest assured the framing of sexual desire as inherently evil and sinful did plenty of damage to my psyche.

No matter how much I know that those views aren't true, that they're doing everyone a disservice, no matter how hard I fight against attitudes that have been ingrained in me since before I even knew what sex was by every bit of stupid bullshit "I hate my spouse" boomer humor I've ever encountered, they still impact my own ability to express my own wants and needs. They still make me feel like I am wrong or bad or evil for wanting to have sex with women, and especially for wanting to be an active participant or engage in sex acts where the focus is my pleasure, like having a girl go down on me.

I think that's one of the reasons I find pleasure in submission: if I'm not the one in control, I can't hurt anyone. I can't be a threat. I can't force anyone to do anything if I'm the one taking orders. If my partner is in control, if she's the one calling the shots in the bedroom, then I'm as sure as I can be that she actually wants to be here, that this isn't just a chore she wants to get over with as quickly as possible to keep me satisfied so she can go do something that actually matters to her.

There are a lot of men like me. I know a lot of them personally. While I hesitate to call myself a good person, I can say with confidence that I would never willingly hurt my partner, that I would never knowingly force her into something she didn't want to do or violate her boundaries, and there are plenty of good, considerate men who would be horrified at the thought of doing something to a girl that that girl didn't want. So we live with the fear that we're monsters, that we're rapists waiting to happen, that even showing interest in a woman means we're unsafe and have done something wrong. We end up starved of physical and emotional intimacy, and it's a very sad and lonely experience.

I think I saw a post a while back, probably before I even started this blog, about a trans man talking about how very different socialization and social intimacy was as a man, and that post also did a great job of putting how I felt into words, but I can't find it right now. Regardless, it made the point that we're lonely. Isolated. We're not encouraged to be vulnerable. Writing this post has been very difficult for me because I was taught to never show weakness, that vulnerability made me a target, made me less, rather than a person in need of and deserving of support. We're not encouraged to develop emotional intimacy with other men outside of very specific situations (competition against opposing forces). Women look at us as threats (because to do otherwise without very good reason to trust runs the risk of actively putting them in danger). We are... so very alone.

[ilikekidsshows]

Hey, I was wondering if you could talk more about what you thought about the conflict that happened between Ladybug and Chat Noir in the new york special?

Certainly. Mainly, it’s the same issue we saw in ‘Glaciator’ but manifesting in a different way: these two tend to misunderstand the relationship between them because of their personal experiences and expectations, which tend to naturally be in conflict because of the very different pasts the two characters have. I also think the conflict was two-sided and only one side of the issue at hand was solved. We had Cat Noir’s dishonesty and Ladybug’s inability to act as a comforter, with only the former being solved.

Since it's the one that gets resolved and it's more straightforward, let's start with Cat Noir's side. He's the child of a strict, emotionally abusive father and we've repeatedly seen that he projects his relationship with his father into his relationship with Ladybug, and here it happens again. Gabriel would not let Adrien do what he doesn't allow and we've seen what he does when Adrien disappoints him: punishes him severely.

Strict parents don’t raise obedient children, they raise children who lie well. And Adrien had more of a motive to be deceitful than most. This special was the first time Ladybug gave him responsibility over something. If he said he couldn’t do it, would she ever trust him with anything again? Or, would she simply tell him to suck it up and do as he’s told, forcing Adrien to choose between her and his father in their demands of him? And Plagg, who I will point out, has been actively more helpful in season three, actually helped Adrien come up with a plan that, to their reasonable expectations, would not have led to anyone being hurt or disappointed, so Adrien obviously saw that simply not letting Ladybug know that he wouldn’t be physically present in Paris would work out. Adrien even was responsible about it; he kept himself actively informed of the situation in Paris up until he was made to put his phone away. And then things went to hell in a handbasket at the worst possible moment.

However, here comes the fault in Adrien’s reasoning, which was very reasonable to him and his implied-to-be equally abused Kwami: Ladybug is nothing like Gabriel. Marinette would have heard him out and they’d have come up with a plan together to deal with the situation, as long as Cat Noir got a hold of her soon enough for them to meet up and make a plan. We don’t really know what the time frame is between Adrien finding out and the departure of the plane to New York, but, considering Plagg stopped Adrien from contacting Ladybug, and no time constraint was mentioned, they’d have had plenty of time.

This is the beginning and end of Adrien’s half of the conflict. After this point, he’s merely reacting to what he thinks are clear signals from Ladybug. He tries to help with the villain the best he can, while Ladybug keeps distracting him by berating him in the middle of the fight, finally breaking his will to fight entirely by declaring she can’t trust him anymore, one of the nightmare scenarios I mentioned earlier. Add to that the villain using his power to harm Uncanny, he was convinced that Ladybug would be better off with any other partner. When Ladybug didn’t refute his assessment that he was a failure and no good hero, he decided he was right and abandoned his ring. However, when Uncanny revealed to him that Ladybug did, in fact, still need him specifically as her partner, he came back, deciding that it didn’t matter if he was a worthless failure as long as Ladybug would find a use for him anyway. Adrien repeatedly describes himself negatively in comparison to others, his self esteem is awful, but that wasn’t really a matter being handled in the special.

When Cat Noir made it to Ladybug and was instantly welcomed back, he apologised for not being honest and Ladybug signalled her forgiveness with a fistbump. This gesture signalled to Adrien that he could trust Ladybug and that Ladybug trusted him back, that the things she’d said in anger were just that. This showed Adrien in a blatant way that Ladybug was nothing like Gabriel, who would have lorded Adrien’s failure over him and punished him, instead of accepting his assurance that he’ll do better next time. This was an important lesson to Adrien, because he needs to be as honest with Ladybug as their secret identities allow because they’re a team and can’t go doing things independently when it affects them both. Adrien’s experiences in the special are ones that will specifically help him overcome his character flaw of being too distructful of others’ intentions when it comes to Ladybug.

Then comes Marinette’s side, and this one is more complex. While how badly she was distracted in that fight and how badly she distracted Cat Noir was an issue in and of itself, it wasn’t the thing on her part that escalated the conflict. It was merely what set up her state of mind. What escalated the conflict were the things she said in anger that she didn’t take back while Cat Noir was clearly falling apart. Marinette was understandably upset by what happened in Paris, but she made a very big mistake with how she handled that: she focused only on herself. Marinette needed comfort because she couldn’t heal Paris, but Cat Noir needed comfort because they could do nothing to help Paris, he’d just temporarily killed someone and he felt like a failure as a partner. But, when Cat Noir didn’t instantly move to assure her that she was fine, Marinette turned her back on him and walked away. She wanted space, because Marinette usually finds a quiet corner to think when she’s dealing with something, but Adrien saw that as a rejection. And when Cat Noir voiced all these things going on in his mind, she was silent, making him feel like she was condemning him, seeing him as worthlessly as he did. So he decided to leave her so that she could find a better partner.

Marinette also has her own misconceptions about her and Cat Noir’s relationship. This is another thing I noticed in ‘Glaciator’: Marinette doesn’t think Cat Noir is an actual human being with real human emotions and problems. She got better about it after ‘Glaciator’, like accepting his feelings for her as genuine, but she still doesn’t understand that Cat Noir can get hurt emotionally and might need a bit of support every once in a while. In fact, in ‘Timetagger’, she blatantly shuts him down when he’s looking for affirmation, claiming he “already knows he’s the best”, when Adrien actually has very poor self esteem. I mentioned in another comment that Marinette sees Cat Noir as a fae-like being, someone who only goofs around and supports her, and is never touched by worldly things like pain and sadness. The only threat to him are the supervillains they face. Every time one of them has shown a need for comfort, it’s been Ladybug, and Cat Noir has always been the one to comfort her. They’re stuck in these roles, and Marinette doesn’t know how to break out of them when Cat Noir is the one needing comfort and support. To drive this aspect of the conflict home, this is the direct reverse of the situation in ‘Miracle Queen’. In ‘Miracle Queen’, Marinette makes a mistake with real consequences, gets Fu’s identity revealed to Hawk Moth which led to his capture, but Cat Noir overlooks that to support her instead. In the special, Cat Noir’s mistake causes property damage in Paris that they can’t undo, but Marinette can’t overlook it to support her partner through his mistake.

Here’s the thing: Marinette has a good life. She has a supportive family and supportive friends. This gives her a solid foundation as a superhero and it means she’s used to people picking her up when she falls down. It’s not just her relationship with Cat Noir that’s characterized by the idea that support just shows up when she needs it. Heck, at the end of ‘Love Hunter’, Luka seemingly magically appears for the sole purpose of giving Marinette some comfort. However, we’ve seen some hints, mostly in ‘Weredad’, that at least her dad wants to overly protect her. We don’t know how well Marinette would actually take Adrien rejecting her, but, considering how miserable she was repeatedly in season two over just not getting to see him, I suspect not well, and her dad was convinced she’d go as far as being easily shattered by that. Children need to feel small disappointments to be able to handle the actual hurdles they’ll face later in life. The way Marinette becomes an anxious mess over failing at something reminds me of myself as a teenager, and I was a very shielded child. My mom pampered me, not by much, but enough that I had to learn to pick myself and others up at a later age. And I feel that’s a lesson Marinette needs to learn as well.

We saw from what Marinette said to Uncanny that she didn’t think Cat Noir’s mistake was irreparable. She didn’t mean the gestures I described earlier as how Adrien saw them. She didn’t mean to turn her back on him to reject him and she didn’t mean her silence to be read as her agreeing that he was a bad partner. But she never once considered that she might be sending Cat Noir these signals, even as Cat Noir told her how he felt about himself in relation to her. Instead of supporting her partner by saying anything to refute his self-disparaging comments, or even sharing their pain together, Marinette remains silent, experiencing her own pain alone and leaving Cat Noir with his. Marinette is a good leader, but she’s not a good partner, because she lacks the ability to support Cat Noir. This isn’t her fault, it’s a character flaw like Adrien’s distrust of others to consider his well being in any scenario. However, it’s one that’s harder to fix than Adrien’s, because Adrien’s flaw is one of perception, so he just needs to see contrary evidence to learn better. Marinette’s issue is that she lacks important skills for comforting someone: spotting a need and responding to it. I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen Marinette actively comfort anyone during the entire series. It’s very likely she’s never had to do so before the moment with Cat Noir in this special.

This is why Adrien leaving her was so important to Marinette’s future growth as a partner specifically. Technically Marinette needed it to happen. Marinette had to learn that you can’t expect someone to be there indefinitely if you never let them know you want them there, and she had to learn that Cat Noir needs her to reciprocate the supportive relationship between them instead of only enjoying the benefits of her partner’s almost unwavering support. An unequal relationship will not last. If you just keep someone around for their comfort, they’ll leave you once they have none left to give. If you just keep someone around for their good days, they’ll leave you once their bad days come. But in this special we saw Marinette taking the first steps towards realizing her partner’s humanity, ergo, fixing the part of the issue that’s in her perception: she was still thinking about him when she was Marinette. I noted in ‘Glaciator’ that Marinette usually stops thinking about Cat Noir once she’s Marinette again, which is part of that whole “seeing him as otherworldly” thing. Breaking out of that mindset is as important as it is for Adrien to break out of the “everyone would turn on me if I didn’t please them 24/7” one.

Basically: the conflict was resolved, but it showed where development still needs to happen.

[nowplayingblog]

Why the charictarization of Remus Lupin matter so much to me?

A character study of Remus Lupin

Disclaimer: I think every interpretation of every character is valid and should not be torn down (further discussed in this post). The following is a discussion of how I interpret a character, and things that I (me, specifically) don't like to see when I read fic, or even in fanart in many cases, and why.

(Just a friendly reminder that if you don't like someone's interpretation of a character, you can click off the fic, or block their account. It's OK to create a happy space for yourself.)

I'll begin with the reason I decided to make this post.

I've noticed a lot in my many years of being a marauders fan that there is a generally accepted interpretation of Remus, and the way certain people in the Fandom feel about it is that this is the only acceptable interpretation.

Based on my own observations, "Fanon Remus" is:

Negative/pessimistic.

Rough around the edges.

More confident in himself.

Borderline mean to anyone who he isn't friends with.

Usually smokes (cigarettes, weed, or both) and drinks.

Perpetually sad and tragic.

Tends to come off as disinterested in everything.

Fully accepting of being a werewolf and feels there is no separation between himself and his werewolf form.

(To be fair, this list is based on how I view this interpretation of Remus so it's likely bias.)

This interpretation of Remus has seen an increase in popularity with the re-emergence of the popular fanfic All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Here's the thing - I don't take issue with this version of Remus existing, it's definitely not to my taste (and we'll get into that more later) but it's a valid interpretation of his character.

Where I take issue with this is attitudes surrounding it, and people in the Fandom trying to make me feels as though this is the canon/only interpretation of Remus there can be.

I've been on multiple platforms where fellow Wolfstar/Marauders fans have stated that they hate seeing Remus depicted as:

Shy/timid.

Not as confident in himself and his abilities.

Thankful for his friends for the simple act of being his friends.

Overall softer (both in appearance and personality).

Being kind to most people he meets.

Being physically smaller than the other boys.

Referring to his werewolf state as something that is separate from him.

These people have argued that their interpretation is back by Canon, and writing Remus any other way is out of character - but the truth is that we know very little about Canon Remus (or any of the other Marauders or characters from that era.)

However both interpretations (or rather these two generalized interpretations, as I believe everyone sees every character a little differently) address aspects of what we know about him:

He's a werewolf and he has a complicated relationship with that aspect of himself. You can either interpret it as an internal conflict where he doesn't want people to be hurt by the part of himself that he can't control, or as an external conflict where he sees himself as a threat all the time, because there isn't a definitive line where "Remus" ends and "The Wolf" starts.

When we meet him in Prisoner of Azkaban, he is a warm and inviting, if a bit unorthodox, teacher. We also later learn he was a part of a group of friends who were notorious for playing pranks. Some interpret his unorthodox teaching style and his occasional sassy-ness (seen in flashbacks and in the present plot of the books) as an indication that he was always on board with the pranks - sometimes the mastermind behind some of them - and also that he was a bit rude or mean to anyone who he wasn't friends with. Others interpret his warm and caring personality to be at the core of who he is, and that his friends taught him to be a little mischievous, sarcastic and sassy.

As I've stated several times now, both are valid interpretations. One is no more rooted in Canon than the other. (I tend not to rely on Canon too much regardless, but that another topic for another post.)

But I think the real core of my problem with "Fanon Remus" comes back to a topic that I spend a LOT of time thinking about. So much time, in fact, that I have original stories and fanworks in the works that address this very issue:

The importance placed on the "dominant" or Type A personality.

(For clarity - Type A personality means someone who is achiement-oriented, ambitious, constantly working towards success, while the Type B personality is the more passive, flexible, easy going personality. )

We tend to see dominant, Type A personalities glorified in our society. We like go-getters, leaders. We glorify CEOs, activists, people who lead change.

We see the more submissive, Type B personalities as weak, passive, lacking the strength needed to succeed in this world.

But being passive, submissive, Type B, doesn't make someone weak. You can passively support causes you believe in. All leaders need followers.

I am more of that Type B, submissive, follower personality, and I identify and look up to characters and people who are like me, and are still strong.

I like to see - and want to see - characters who are more passive, less sure of themselves, but they are still strong and do what's right.

Which is why, while valid, I just can't interpret "Fanon Remus" as MY Remus. I can't relate to "Fanon Remus" and that interpretation of him doesn't serve the purpose I need in the kinds of stories I like to write.

And I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way, about a lot of characters.

They way I see Remus, is like this:

He is shy, he's one of those introverts that gets found by his extrovert friends and has no idea how to make friends outside of that.

He is focused on academics - in the Hogwarts world I see this as a way to prove to himself that he deserves to be here. To James and Sirius, their studies (magic or otherwise, depending on the AU) come naturally to them, but Remus works hard for his grades. (In this way he is a Type A personality, but he's not that dominant personality type.)

He loves his friends and unknowingly starts to mimic and adopt some of their traits the longer they are friends, which is how he becomes more sarcastic and mischievous.

He is kind, to the point of being overly apologetic.

He's one of those students that during parent-teacher conferences the teachers say he's "so quiet" and "a joy to have in class".

He's pessimistic in a "if I don't get my hopes up I won't be disappointed" kind of way. He wants to be optimistic but can't really visualize the things he wants as something that could be true. He feels like his wants are silly wishes. However, he's not pessimistic in the way that "nothing good will ever happen to me."

He's open to things turning out a little differently than he had planned.

He's supportive and wise. He gives good advice to his friends.

He has bad self-esteem issues, often falling into negative thoughts along the lines of "nobody actually likes me" "nobody can stand to be around me" "everyone wishes I wasn't here"

Loves doing big, thrilling activities, but needs his time to have quiet, introspective, and calming activities.

A true introvert, while he loves spending time with people, his social energy drains when he's around others, and recharges when he is alone.

So the moral of this post is meant to be - every character in every fandom is going to have lots of different interpretations, and is going to be even more different from person to person. We all see things differently. They may look wildly different from your interpretation, or even from Canon, but that doesn't make them less valid, and they don't deserve to be told that they're wrong.

There is now correct way to see a character - there are only ways that you disagree with.

Expect to see more character studies and interpretations in the future

[musclesandhammering]

Loki (2021) Positivity from an Anti

Ok so all of my mutuals know I’m extremely anti-Loki (2021), anti-sylki, and anti-sylvie. But at a certain point, even we antis get tired of all the negativity. So! Here’s some Loki series commentary in the opposite direction! This is a list of all the things about the show that I loved :)

Also adding a disclaimer that all of this is just my opinion and some of my fellow antis (or even people who liked the show) might disagree, and that’s fine! I’ve been planning this post for awhile. I always say in my other posts that I don’t entirely hate the show and I wanted to be a little more specific about what I think are its good aspects. Feel free to leave your thoughts!

• Mobius is a gem (Owen Wilson owns my whole heart) and his relationship with Loki is so so great. He’s not one-dimensional at all, he has conflicted loyalty and is morally complex, and he has the tragic backstory- which makes him a perfect choice for eventually becoming Loki’s first genuine friend.

• The casting was really really great. Lots of women and people of color. Most of the female actresses (as well as the males) are over 30, which isn’t very common and is fantastic!

• Superb acting all around. I can’t think of a single scene where the actors under or oversold it.

• Beautiful set design, incredible cgi, and gorgeous cinematography overall. It looked more like a movie than a tv show, which is really good.

• Kang being the big bad was a huge plus for me. Johnathan Majors was perfect in the role, his vibes were immaculate, and I was honestly pretty worried that the man behind the curtain would end up being another Loki variant, which imo would’ve been boring and predictable and counter-productive, so it was a big relief when that didn’t happen.

• I like that it sets up a bunch of future marvel movies, rather than being contained to its own little world. It gives it more importance and (hopefully) will encourage writers to not just toss Loki’s character aside in future projects.

• All the Loki variants were delightful. All of them except Sylvie. Kid Loki has my heart. Boastful Loki is a fashion icon. Alligator Loki is a savage. President Loki is the superior variant. Classic Loki became my fav character in less than half an episode.

• It showed some more variety in Loki’s magic. A lot of his powers we’ve seen before, but it feels like they were portrayed a bit more blatantly in the show. The energy blasts, the telekinesis, the teleportation… Outstanding.

• It also implied that Loki has the potential to be waaaay more powerful than he knows he is right now, which? Yes.

• Some of the quotes- and the themes behind them- are just profound as hell. Such as:

“I think we’re stronger than we realise.”

“It’s never too late to change.”

“You can be whoever you wanna be, even someone good.”

“We’re Lokis. We survive. It’s what we do.”

“Loki, God of Outcasts.”

“The universe wants to break free, that’s why it manifests chaos.”

• Technically Loki was Marvel’s first canon lgbt (bi) character, which is a win. His genderfluidity is also technically canon, even if it wasn’t really acknowledged on-screen.

• There were a lot of throwback references to Thor 1, Avengers, and Thor The Dark World. Which I loved.

• Sylvie’s so pretty. Her hair and makeup and costume were all perfect.

• Big fan of Loki finally getting Laevateinn.

• Sufficiently slutty imagery, courtesy of a female director (Loki in a collar, kneeling to Sif, President Loki looking down into the bunker, the hair flips)

• The music was Excellent Wonderful and Superb.

• I love that Loki being a good singer is now canon.

• I love that Asgardians having their own language is now canon (even if it’s basically just Icelandic).

• I also love that they disproved all of those “Loki was a shy nerdy wallflower pre-canon” theories in Episode 3. The drinking/eating/singing scene was fun, if a bit wacky.

• There’s a million different reasons why Loki does what he does, especially in regards to the New York attack (I’m literally writing a huge meta on them), but somehow I never considered that Loki being desperate for control was one of them. It makes a lot of sense, and I always love getting new insights into his motivations.

• I love that Loki finally outright acknowledged that he doesn’t enjoy hurting people. We Been Knew™️ but it’s still nice to hear it out loud from his own mouth.

• The TVA outfit wasn’t as hideous as some people make it out to be. It could’ve been A Look, even. You know, if he’d just accessorised a little better. And kept the jacket on. And not gotten sweaty. And not gotten dirty. And maybe had at least one other costume change… But it had potential, though!!

• Even though I despise the Obvious One, I did actually like some of the other romance crumbs they tossed us (sifki, Loki x the flight attendant).

• The whole DB Cooper thing was iconic idc idc.

• Loki’s hyper sort of overly excited puppy attitude in episode 2 was actually pretty refreshing and funny (for awhile). And now I can headcanon him as adhd, yeehaw.

• “We’re all villains here.” That quote was iconic, my favourite one in the show. And the entire theme that it summarised was really great as well. When you think about it, every single main character in this series has been the villain at one point or another. I mean, I know all marvel characters do bad things etc, but none of the Heroes are ever narratively categorised as Bad. This show did just that with all of them, though. . Loki was framed as the psychopath that attacked New York. Sylvie was framed as the murderous fugitive. The TVA/Ravonna/Mobius were framed as the murderous fascists. Kang was framed as the crazy totalitarian. It’s made clear that all the Loki variants were the villains of their stories.

However, every single main character in the series is also framed as the Hero at a certain point. Loki is framed as the main protagonist who throws a wrench in the TVA’s dastardly plans. Sylvie is framed as the persevering freedom fighter who wants to take down the fascists. The TVA/Mobius/Ravonna are framed as the ones who maintain order for the greater good. Kang is framed as the weird but ultimately benevolent wise man who’s just trying to prevent something worse from happening. The Loki variants are framed as generous allies who befriend the main character and help him on his journey.

Everyone in this equation is openly acknowledged by the narrative to be morally corrupt, but not entirely morally bankrupt. There are no Straightforward Hero Figures (like the Avengers) in this entire scenario at all, and that makes for a super interesting dynamic that marvel has never done before. So yes: “We’re all villains here.” But also: “No one bad is ever truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good.” I loved that.

• Even if it wasn’t really enough imo, I still treasure the crumbs we got of Loki being competent and capable (him putting the collar on B-15, him figuring out Sylvie’s hiding place, him teaching himself to enchant on the fly while fighting a giant cloud beast of eldritch proportions).

• I love that B-15 was the one who stepped in and saved the day in Episode 4, when we all thought it was gonna be Mobius. What a queen.

• Marvel usually has a bit of a problem with creating compelling and memorable side characters. But aside from Sylvie, I genuinely got attached to every single character in this show. Like Casey, C-20? I was seriously emotionally invested in them and they were only in like 2 episodes. Wtf.

• Introducing the TVA storyline in the Loki series specifically was a really good move. I’m not saying they executed it well, just that it had a ton of potential. A lot of people have wondered why marvel even thought to put those two (the TVA and Loki) together, when they had literally nothing to do with each other, nothing in common, and essentially no connection at all. But when you think about it, it’s a really interesting twist on both of those stories. Forcing the embodiment of destructive chaos and the pillar of rigid order to interact could make for some seriously entertaining and compelling television. And as far as meshing these two completely unrelated entities together goes, I thought they did it pretty well- at least just the bare bones of the story (loki being arrested by the TVA and being one of their most common variants).

So that’s it! If you guys (fellow antis) wanna add stuff you liked, feel free. If anyone wants to discuss (or debate) my list, feel free to do that too!

[venom-inside-you]

ommmgggg just read that ask ! give us more symbiotic powers during sex Head Canons !

Okay! Y’all asked for it! I am sorry but also not sorry if this is not coherent to anyone else but me but I have a lot of thoughts so this is long, again Nonnie you asked for this. I’m also on mobile and it would be a pain in the ass to put a read-more so sorry about that as well!

(Please note mun has only seen the movie and read a few snippets of the comics regarding Venom so these are completely made up out of mun’s mind and not part of any universe except my own lololol. I also refer to Venom as he/him.)

Symbiote Powers During Sex - Head Canons!

-Before we talk about anything else!!!!! Venom’s species reproduce asexually, so he does not inherently understand copulation between humans nor does he understand the pleasurable aspects of sex. He has Eddie’s memories but that is not the same (will explain later) and understands that is how Earth is populated, but regularly scolds Eddie for being weak to others’ sexuality and needing the human connection in order to survive, constantly criticizes humans for being overly-emotional life forms. Eddie has also not had sex or has had daydreams or wet dreams about having sex with Venom.

-Let’s talk about long distance. This symbiote can stretch out pretty far from Eddie’s body so if his partner/SO/lover/whatever is in another room entirely, small tendrils or even larger tentacles can be used to do whatever.

-Speaking of what the tendrils, tentacles can do, here’s a few suggestions: licking, sucking (with little suction cups like an octopus), biting, tugging, vibrating!!! You name it, Venom can probably do it and with more than one tendril/tentacle at a time.

-Don’t even get me started on texture!! But let’s— Venom’s mass is cool and slick to the touch, but not sticky or too goopy. He does produce a substance so that in his constant shape-shifting, he doesn’t create too much heat from the friction so this could be used as a sexual lubrication. He also produces saliva that is similar to the lube but thicker and a little more sticky. ANYWAY, these tendrils/tentacles can be ribbed, bumpy, ultra smooth, and textured after a real penis (most likely Eddie’s but he’s been in other humans before Eddie so it might sorta be an amalgamation of multiple) among other textures I haven’t even mentioned!

-Foreplay (long distance or not) - tendrils and tentacles EVERYWHERE. Humans (usually) have two hands and two arms— Eddie can only do so much!! But Venom can do anything, literally anything with whatever amount of mass he’d like to use. Multiple tendrils can come together to make one tentacle or one tentacle can be split into multiple tendrils depending on the partner(s) pleasure— yes I said multiple, we’ve got a poly-alien on our hands. The more the merrier but Eddie gets tired so keep that in mind. This also means that he can fashion himself (or even Eddie’s member 👀) after all of those sick-looking Bad Dragon-esque dildos (more on that later).

-Sex can be as spontaneous or as regular as Eddie and the partner(s) and Venom want it to be, but Venom can read Eddie’s mind (and vice versa, sorta) so if Eddie thinks of something Venom may not even hesitate to go ahead and do it. Consent is always key of course!!!

-First time with a partner(s), Venom will most likely stay in the background of Eddie’s mind to experience it happen in real time. He has access to all of Eddie’s memories but it’s something else entirely to be feeling the actual act rather than watching it. Symbiotes are really observant, which gives them the ability to make quick decisions to get the upper hand, so this translates over to sexual acts.

-For Eddie’s sake, Venom prefers if the partner asks or allows Venom to participate. Venom may get more touchy-feely with the partner(s) as time goes on if the physical aspect hasn’t been introduced yet.

-Eddie is up to try anything once. Venom will do anything without hesitation, which could lead to some negative sexual experiences for either side or both if it isn’t handled right.

-To piggy-back off that, Venom does not understand aftercare. In the beginning, if Venom is too rough, Eddie is the one that has to do the aftercare. It may cause some tension between him and Eddie and the partner(s), but more conversations about what’s expected is always a healthy way to approach boundaries and future sexual endeavors! Soon he’ll start to get it, but it will be rough going at first.

-Once a boundary/sexual relationship has been established, Venom will become possessive of said partner(s). He will also touch the partner(s) in public where he knows he won’t get caught and if the partner(s) get into a position where others want to possess the partner(s), Venom will then mark the partner(s) in a place so that others know that they belong to him. And Eddie.

-Venom has observed Earth animals and their mating behaviors (either through personal experience or watching the Discovery channel while Eddie’s sleeping), so he knows that humans do not have a mating season. He does not experience heats or ruts but can pick up on human’s fluctuation hormones and pheromones enough to know when someone is aroused.

-Does Venom orgasm? Yes, I think he does. Just like a xenomorph, I HC that Venom inherits traits from the beings he has been in before. Being in Eddie for so long, he would then adapt the ability to orgasm. When he does, his mass shifts like it does when he hears higher frequencies (see the scene with the airplane and the MRI machine) and he gets a bit feral.

-Does Venom ejaculate? As a symbiote, no. But when he decides that he wants to, he uses Eddie’s cum (whether or not he has to manipulate Eddie’s body to produce more), but this also means that if he has sex with a fertile partner, that baby(ies) will not have symbiotes in them in utero. In order for baby to have a symbiote, he would have to make one but that’s a long story.

-Am I getting a little too lost in the woods here? Maybe I should rapid-fire a few to get my brain straight

-Venom can pin the partner down by any body part and basically anywhere. Weight and size don’t even matter in this context, and Y’ALL HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR CHUBBY PARTS OR ANYTHING YOU HAVE INSECURITIES ABOUT. GENDER ALSO DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL. Whatever he can tease to pull another moan out of you is exactly what he wants.

-He can also LIFT YOU IN THE AIR. I REPEAT— LIFT YOU UP IN THE AIR AND USE YOU AS A FLESHLIGHT. For multiple holes as well.

-Biting— lots of biting. Can draw blood (again, see boundaries) from the body and clean you up afterwards.

-Breath play, choking, blood play, knife play (like he can draw blood from you himself), whipping (think about all those textures!), etc

-If he has too much energy and he can’t use it all on you because he knows he can snap you like a twig, his tendrils can crack like whips around him so don’t be scared! He’s just really excited.

-THE TONGUE. I guess I have to explain this one a little bit but just imagine his tongue as whatever you want it to do, just like the tendrils and the tentacles. Wrapped around a clit, vibrating, corkscrewed around a cock and balls, etc

-Saliva literally everywhere. He doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

-He may not talk to the partner much but when he does, it’s usually very like proper and straight-forward. As in “You may orgasm now” or “We can feel that you are close to your peak” etc

-PET NAMES. He likes calling you Little One

-Pet names for him? He prefers being called Venom because like duh that’s his name and he doesn’t understand the pet name at first. Whatever the partner(s) is/are comfortable with calling him, he will respond to it after a while. Maybe even get an ego boost from it.

-Is there anything he doesn’t like to do? YES. Vore— sorry y’all. Even if the partner can regenerate, that’s not something I as a writer am comfortable with writing. In other universes, maybe.

Okay so I’m going to stop there or I’ll be here all day. I’m sure I’ll think of some more but if there are any specific scenarios, please ask!! Anon is on so feel free to submit whatever your heart desires!

[waffles-for-brunch]

This project began as an indirect response to a few negative tweets in the days following the Valentine's Day Destiel wedding. During such time that “certain sources” chose to speak against the impromptu "wedding" and state that the direction of the show never included sexuality or romance. Since this argument has sparked a bit of discourse as to the validity of Dean Winchester and Castiel's relationship and sexualities, I began this edit as an exploration of observations throughout the entire 15 season run of the series. (That's not to say that Sam does not also have his own impactful romances throughout the show -he does have several notable ones- but in his case they are never debated upon or erased.)

There are three complete edits linked below. The differences are explained in their descriptions. (I also recommend downloading for best quality rather than simply watching in the browser, but it’s your choice)

BiDeanEdit: (Click here to download)

Runtime: 18:04:44

File Size: 10.0 GB (10,741,415,805 bytes)

Series long compilation edit (in sequence) of Dean Winchester and Castiel’s relationships and intended expressions of their sexualities (ie interest in both genders). This edit focuses on their relationship as it develops with one another, their other notable relationships (DeanxBenny, CasxMeg, DeanxLisa, etc), and the framework around their sexualities with small scenes of expression (ie Dean in ‘Playthings’ or ‘Everybody Hates Hitler’, or early seasons Dean & his transgressions with women, or Cas in ‘Caged Heat’)

BiDeanMLMEdit: (Click here to download)

Runtime: 14:40:57

File Size: 8.05 GB (8,649,798,685 bytes)

Series long compilation edit (in sequence) of Dean Winchester and Castiel’s relationships and intended expressions of their sexualities. This one is the same as the last but with only MLM content (Otherwise referred to as ‘only the gay parts’). We focus on this more repressed side of their sexuality and see these clues laid out altogether in one fluid edit (these examples are also available in the previous edit, however are just not aligned beside any heterosexual content). DeanxCrowley, DeanxBenny, DeanxLee, DeanxCas, etc. 

DestielOnlyEdit: (Click here to download)

Runtime: 13:08:49

File Size: 7.17 GB (7,709,560,696 bytes)

Series long compilation edit (in sequence) of only Destiel related content. The same as the above edit, just simplified even more to only focus on Dean and Cas’ relationship over the years. 

Keep reading below to find my full analysis of the complete edit regarding these guys sexualities, relationships, and the parallels we can draw. 

To understand why it is that so many queer fans of Supernatural and other similar shows read queerness in characters and their relationships, we should look at the hays code established in 1930. At this time this certain code was established to monitor what was allowed to be depicted outright on film. Within the margins of what was to be stifled, was homosexuality. As such, filmmakers had to plant “queer-coded” seeds into the writing and subtext so that queer audiences watching could interpret these characters and relationships in this manner without the words and actions stating so outright. (At this time homosexuality could be depicted on film as long as said gay character was either a villain, caricature, or met an untimely end- feeding into the blossoming of the kill-your-gays trope. But that’s another topic for a later time.) 

As film changed over the years and times became more accepting of lgbt characters portrayals on screen outside of simple coding, this did not make the code obsolete. Queer-coding and queer-baiting are often used in media in present day as a way to pull in viewership. Networks are able to garner the best of both worlds, in a sense. They can draw in heterosexual audiences that may not want to watch queer media, whilst also drawing in queer audiences by coding some characters and relationships just enough to pull those viewers in. This works simply because there is such a lack of queer representation in most media that we’ll take what we can get. 

This is where Supernatural comes in. There is a reason that Supernatural and thus “Destiel” is known by some as “The Great American Queerbait.” This twelve years long gay slow-burn between one overly masculine character and his awkward angel best friend did not begin with the intention of romance or baiting, as many of these things generally don’t. However, once fans realized the chemistry between these two particular actors and characters, it became something blatantly written into the show. Sometimes jokingly, other times as legitimate moments of emotional intimacy between two characters. So to say that the show’s direction never included sexuality or romance is, to put it bluntly, bullshit. Just because something is not written in clear and concise wording right in your face, does not mean that it is nonexistent and that the writers did not know what they were writing into the show. (Not even to mention the actual love confession in 15x18, but I digress). 

We know very well that queer content has been written subtextually into media for the better part of seventy years. It is a language in media just as much as lighting is a language, just as much as certain camera angles, color design in costumes or set decor, and music design are languages. All of these, outside of the simple words said on screen, make up our media and these characters and our shows. Tv is a world of color, not black and white.

[[ further readings on the above topics: X X X X X ]] 

I decided upon this full edit encompassing both the female and male aspects of Dean Winchester and Castiel’s relationships & sexualities because oftentimes when we’re looking into potentially queer characters we tend to focus on the same sex attraction and neglect the opposite sex attraction. Both are very important to acknowledge and compare, if at the very least to view where they may overcompensate, where toxic masculinity may come into play, compulsory heterosexuality, trauma responses, etc. Sometimes what a character doesn’t do is just as important to interpret as what they do do. 

For instance, Dean Winchester. If we are to operate under the assumption that he is bisexual, any repression we witness throughout the series as to his male attraction is likely to be a result of his difficult upbringing, similar to most queer identifying people with childhood trauma. His father is a marine, the picture of manliness in which Dean himself blatantly embodies in an effort to impress and make his father proud in any way he can. Dean is already unlikely to seek out activities in any aspect of life of which might make John look at him in a different light (ie, in an every day setting, even simply watching Finding Dory- this is not something S1 Dean would have admitted to liking, but we see Dean in later seasons standing up for himself and his appreciation for it). 

Is it perhaps for this reason that we see Dean as an overly blatant and flirty ladies man in season 1 when John is still alive, while this side of him steadily declines as the series continues? It even becomes established in season 3- in light of Dean’s fears surrounding going to Hell, he enters an attitude for coping that Sam recognizes- hypermasculinity, promiscuity, deflection. Heightening the idea that this caricature of himself that he embodies is a mask that he wears in order to cope with something else. He is donning the image he assumes others think he should fit into. Sam calls him out on this through the years, and eventually this becomes something we see in him less and less as he feels more comfortable simply being himself. 

If we take into account the time of which this first season is filmed, this is 2005, a time where gay jokes were still funny and an overcompensating character was a joke attached to it. We see Dean built up in these first couple of seasons through this lens of jokes about a hyper-masculine character being mistaken for gay, however instead of this building up the masculinity to encourage a raging heterosexual characterization, this overcompensation is exactly what inadvertently sows the seeds of queer-coding. To queer watchers this reads as a deeply repressed character with childhood trauma who overcompensates when faced with observations of gayness and uses hypermasculinity to counteract these accusations. 

It is through circumstances such as “Bugs” in S1 or “Playthings” in S2 that we first see these ‘jokes.’ The brothers are mistaken as a gay couple. Dean being the more “masculine’ of the two characters has a blatant reaction to these situations (Overcompensating), and Sam’s lack of a reaction is what solidifies his own straightness all the more. Neither brother is homophobic (this becomes established as time goes on) so why would either have a problem with this mistake? Sam wouldn’t care because he’s clearly not gay- in fact, he usually just laughs it off. Dean would care because he wonders what about him looks gay? Do other people see it too? Do they know? What’s wrong with him? 

We also see another blatant example of this type of freakout in season 8. “Everybody Hates Hitler.”

(Images: “Playthings” S2xE11)

(Image below: S8 “Everybody Hates Hilter”)

We frame these situations in early seasons around girl of the week scenarios and brief bar flirtations. Have to make it clear that our manly straight character looks as manly and straight as possible. Dean is also in his 20s, he’s more carefree/not as traumatized yet, and he is a sexual man so he does sleep around quite a bit. What is notable, however, is how much this drops off in later seasons. As time goes on Dean seeks out less and less the fleeting encounters of one night stands, in favor of genuine connections- even if he himself frequently doubts his own ability to ever have a settle-down type of relationship or life. Lisa is the only long-term female romantic relationship Dean ever has throughout the series run, and this tentatively begins in season 5 and ends in season 6. 

Dean and Lisa’s relationship is founded more in a dream of something that Dean wants to be rather than who he actually is. Although he loves her, their bond is made through trauma and their relationship overall is reminiscent of a soldier who returned home from war with heavy PTSD and begins to burden the family that he will come to realize he doesn’t quite fit within anymore. 

Outside of this, his closest relationships from thereon out are between Benny, and Castiel. 

Let’s start with Benny. Throughout season 8 Benny is framed as an ex and his relationship with Dean directly parallels Sam and Amelia’s. Both brothers must confront their relationships with their ‘significant others’ and decide whether to cut them off or proceed. Both brothers found these people under circumstances in which they did not get along with them at first but were pushed together. Another person comes in the middle of their relationship (Amelia’s husband for Sam, or Cas/Sam for Benny). The brothers each resent the other’s significant other or the circumstances surrounding the relationship. Sam hates Benny because he is a vampire and Sam does not understand why Dean continually trusts him (which is a circumstance inherently queer-coded in itself for comparability to an unaccepting family). Dean does not care for Amelia simply for the fact that Sam chose her over looking for him in purgatory.

Other instances we see parallels between Sam’s romances and Dean’s:

“Sex and Violence” S4 siren: Nick(Siren)/Dean parallel to Sam/Dr Lady

Season 4: Ruby/Sam and Cas/Dean teamup parallels

S1 Dean pulling Sam from the fire away from Jess vs S12 Sam pulling Dean away from Cas who may die approaching Lucifer to fight

Season 8: Dean/Benny vs Sam/Amelia. Dean and Benny, since they’re essentially going through a breakup, are directly paralleled to Sam and Amelia and their breakup. See “Larp and the Real Girl” for Charlie and Dean’s conversation about Sam’s recent breakup and Charlie picking up on the fact that Dean might also be going through one. 

1x05 vs 8x07: Sam seeing Jessica on the sidewalk as they drive down the street vs Dean seeing Cas on the side of the road as he drives down the street

S11: Perhaps this one can be interpreted loosely and not necessarily romantic (esp on Sam’s end), but “O’ Brother Where Art Thou” both brothers are drawn to forces they actively fight against being drawn to. SamxLucifer and DeanxAmara. 

S11: “Beyond the Mat” not a relationship but with crushes/infatuations. Dean with Gunner Lawless and Sam with Rio. 

S15: Cas telling Dean that “We Are” real. vs Eileen being unsure what’s real and Sam kissing her and saying “I know that was real.”

S15: “The Trap” Dean loses all hope following the death of their friends and primarily Cas. Sam loses hope after Eileen’s death. Directly paralleled in the episode. (We also see Sam lose Eileen in 15x18, where Dean also loses Cas)

Additional parallels between Dean/Cas with anyone else:

Season 9/10: Cain/Colette vs Dean/Cas. “She only asked for one thing. To stop.” vs Cas asking Dean to “Stop”. Both circumstances referring to the Mark of Cain.

S12 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” Lily (human)/Isham (angel) vs Dean (human)/ Cas (angel)

Led Zeppelin: This music means something within John/Mary’s relationship, which Dean directly acknowledges in 12x01 with Mary. We find out Dean has gifted Cas a mixtape of his “Top 13 Zepp Traxx” in 12x19. (the implications of Dean having made a mixtape for Cas, being its own point in a different discussion)

When Lucifer contacts a person to try and get them to open up to him, he uses their dead lover as a ploy. SamxJess, NickxSarah, VincexJen, DeanxCas - 15x19 when Lucifer calls Dean using Cas’ voice. 

The parallels of unreciprocated love/infatuation. DeanxCrowley and CasxHannah. Dean likes Crowley but clearly not the way that Crowley likes Dean. Cas likes Hannah like a friend or sister, but she keeps putting the moves on him for awhile and he appears deeply uncomfortable and has to shoot her down more than once. 

Parallels between Dean’s own relationships:

Dean in “Let it Bleed” torturing demons to find the location of Lisa and Ben vs Dean in Purgatory torturing monsters to find the location of Cas “The angel”

“The Rapture” opens in Dean’s dream which Cas visits and says he’s in trouble and gives Dean an address to go to immediately. “The Song Remains The Same” opens in Dean’s dream which Anna visits and says she’s in trouble and gives Dean an address to go to immediately. 

S6 Dean dodging calls from Lisa vs S12 Dean dodging Cas at the beginning of “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” (notable also how Sam treats both circumstances the same)

S11: “Into the Mystic” 11x11 Mildred tells Dean the key to living a long and happy life is to follow your heart. Later in the season “All in the Family” 11x21 When Casifer is still captured by Amara, she puts her hand to Cas’ heart and is able to connect with Dean to contact him. Hinting at the link between Cas and Dean’s “hearts.” 

Not necessarily a parallel but an observation. 7x01 when Cas is loaded up on God juice, and Dean has given up but Sam hasn’t and wants to talk to ‘the guy’, Dean says, “He’s not a guy, he’s God.” But in 11x18 Dean refuses to give up on Cas and let him continue to be possessed. Sam keeps speaking about Cas like he’s just a vessel and Dean says, “It? It’s not an it, Sam. It’s Cas.” Mostly this shows the development of their relationship and Dean’s willingness to continue to fight for him. 

Dean’s dream world with Pamela in S14, she says to Dean “How come you only want what you can’t have?” and in S15 during Cas’ confession scene he says to Dean, “The one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have.”

Before we delve into Dean and Castiel specifically, let’s explore a few more things regarding Dean. 

Let’s start with Cassie. This is Dean’s first romantic relationship we see on the show, and is arguably his first love. What is notable about her is her characterization and Dean in relation to her. We haven’t seen him in a relationship before, and thus this is the baseline to which we can draw how he is in this type of vulnerable state.

We see here that he is drawn to strong individuals. Cassie is a very strong willed character and can hold her own. She has a boldness about her. Dean appreciates that. We see similar in his next framed love interest: Jo Harvelle. Jo is another strong character, and though Dean sees her more as someone he needs to protect because she doesn’t have as much experience under her belt, he respects her intellect and strong will all the same. They connect through a love for hunting and mutual daddy issues. Personally, this is a relationship I view more as a little sister dynamic in a similar vein to Dean and Charlie, however this pairing is still worth noting because as it was written it was intended to potentially flourish into a romantic relationship. This did not pan out, though the seeds are still there. 

Next up is Anna. Again daddy issues are a solid connection these two hold, and while this relationship is more of a one-night-stand than anything else, there are still important points to be taken from this encounter. The first is just how much Dean cares. We don’t see very many sex scenes with Dean throughout the series, but of the ones we do see, it is apparent that he is a gentle and tender man. He cares. About even a single night with a woman. (Cassie, Anna, Lydia ’The Slice Girls”) This is a contrast to Dean’s general persona of the masculine straight promiscuous lady’s man. He has all the bravado of a man who ‘loves em and leaves em’, but in reality that is not who he is. This is another example of the faces Dean wears in front of certain people (and what he thinks they expect of him), and the person he is once he lets that mask fall. 

It may be important to note as well that Anna, (it is rumored) was originally meant to be more to Dean than this simple one night stand and connection. She was intended to become a romantic interest but, as it turned out, Dean and Cas had more chemistry so the arc that Anna was meant to follow was instead given to Castiel. 

It is another year until the apocalypse comes along, Sam dies, and Dean falls back into Lisa’s lap. While Lisa is another strong-willed woman who rolls with the punches, her lifestyle deviates from Dean’s usual romantic interests simply because of her offering of a normal life outside of everything he’s usually known. A life with her is dipping his toe into a life he could have had if he didn’t hold the weight of the world on his shoulders and hunt the things that go bump in the night.

This is Dean’s last “official” relationship of the series. After putting Lisa and Ben in danger by being someone that he cares about, Dean accepts that he’s simply not a guy that can have a normal life or a normal family. He cares about people and they get hurt. This is a weight he holds on his shoulders for the remainder of the show. He loves someone, or more accurately, they love him, and they’ll get hurt. End of story. It doesn’t help that immediately following this, Castiel “dies” too. 

Maybe it’s Lisa, maybe it’s Cas. Maybe it’s a combination of the two at this point in time, but Dean is never again the same when it comes to relationships after these events at the end of season 6. He becomes more cautious, tries to keep people an arm’s length away, and we even begin to see less and less promiscuity and flirting with miscellaneous women from this point on. 

Let’s talk about Castiel.

Although Dean has had various queer-coded moments throughout the beginning of the series and up to Castiel’s entrance in season 4, his minimal relationships up to this point have all been with women. Simply exploring the evolution of this relationship from Dean’s side of the picture, Dean doesn’t start to truly warm up to Castiel until perhaps the end of season 4. He begins the season unsure of the angel, perhaps even a bit afraid of him, before the two garner a sort of mutual respect as Dean begins to see that there’s more to him than simply an agent of heaven.

They’re friends in season 5. The quirky, strange angel that doesn’t understand social cues, stands too close, stares too much, and says things like “we’re making it up as we go” and “tonight you’re my little bitch.” He’s a far cry from the ethereal entity that showed up in Bobby’s kitchen just a year ago and threatened to toss Dean back into Hell. What really turns the curve, however, is “The End.” 

5 years in the future in the midst of an apocalyptic war, Cas is still around. He’s human and he’s stuck by Dean’s side through it all, even though this Dean is just a shadow of his former self. Then again, so is this Cas. But still, they stuck together. Dean isn’t used to that. He has very few people that have stuck by him for this many years. Could probably count them all on one hand at this point. Bobby and Sam at the top of the list. Everyone else either dies or leaves. And in this future, Bobby and Sam are dead, but Cas is still there.  

Dean has abandonment issues. His mother died when he was four, his dad was in and out emotionally and physically his entire upbringing, Sam left for Stanford the first chance he got. He’s got strings of dead friends and lost relationships surely in tow for years at this point, and half the time Dean has become accustomed to pushing people away before they have a chance to push him away first. (Ie Cassie, Lisa, often even Sam too at times). Cas won’t make these issues any better during their run together, but up to this point Cas hasn’t let him down. The simple fact that in this one future universe Cas had stuck by him, I’m sure that makes a big difference to Dean and actually may be imperative for their relationship going forward and the trust that forms between them. 

Something that becomes a large part of their relationship is Cas and Dean’s ability to have conversations with just their eyes. This is a shorthand that Dean is known to have with Sam on occasion, especially during times of combat. It takes a certain amount of intimacy and knowledge of the other person to be able to have a shorthand like this. The first instance we see this between them is quite possibly “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester,” when Dean convinces Cas that they can save the town. We see it again in the ‘beautiful room’ when Cas slams Dean up against the wall and Dean seems to understand what’s happening. Another instance, “The Song Remains the Same.” In a way, it’s a locking of eyes that just seems to say “trust me,” and they do. 

Sam wonders if Anna may be right. If killing him and scattering the pieces will stop this whole Lucifer vessel business. Sam asks Cas, Cas looks to Dean, they share a look, and Cas shuts Sam down. In all likelihood that plan could have worked, but Cas wouldn’t do that Dean. He wouldn’t do it to Sam either but at this point he’ll do anything at all for Dean. 

If we take a moment to consider Dean and Cas’ relationship here, it is unlike any of Dean’s previous ones. Dean never has this same kind of shorthand with any of his other relationships, save for possibly Benny to a certain extent. Cas is an odd guy, and Dean frequently describes him as such, but he finds it endearing (if “Free to be You and Me” is any indication this early in their relationship). The previous women in his life all had the same thing in common, that they’re strong willed, brave, and don’t put up with Dean’s shit when he’s being a shit. Cas does fit all this criteria, but he’s also someone that Dean has a hard time reading. Cas is so literal sometimes that Dean can’t tell what’s literal, what’s deadpan, and what’s just Cas’ personality as an angel. But at the end of the day, simply put, he likes him and he trusts him. Getting Dean Winchester’s full trust as quickly as Cas gets it is an anomaly all on its own. 

Dean’s female relationships are fairly surface level. They’re easy and fairly uncomplicated. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. Girl gets mad at boy, relationship ends. Easy. Expected. His relationship with Cas isn’t easy. But the big endgame relationships seldom are. There’s blood, loss of trust, rebuilding, and there’s a pull that at the end of the day always brings them back to one another no matter how incredibly messy things get.  

And boy do things get messy. If we touch back into the end of season 6 where things end with Lisa and blow up with Cas, Dean is at an all time low in the relationship department. 

Dean takes Cas’ betrayal hard. Breakups are one thing. Leaving Lisa was expected. It was bound to happen eventually. Dean always knew that somewhere inside. He mourns leaving them, but knows it’s for the best. But with Cas’ betrayal at working with Crowley, he’s devastated all over again. 

Dean never expects his relationships to last forever, but again there’s a choice few people in his life he lets take up space on the list of those who might stick around. Bobby, Sam, Cas. I don’t think Lisa was ever on this list, as much as Dean wishes he could tell himself she and Ben were. But they weren’t. That relationship was a ticking time bomb. And when they nearly die because of his life and the creatures surrounding him every day, that’s the end of it.

Fast forward, season 7 is a time of mourning. He’s lost Lisa and Ben, he gets Cas back for all of 30 minutes before losing him all over again and never being able to repair that relationship. But he keeps the trenchcoat. Fishes it out of the lake, bundles it up, and keeps it in the back of every single car that he and Sam drive that year. 

Dean doesn’t keep mementos. Not of Cassie, not of Jo, Not of Anna, or even Lisa and Ben. No pictures, no items, just memories. You know what he does keep? He keeps his dad’s leather jacket, Bobby’s flask, pictures of he and Sam and his mom. Is keeping the trenchcoat in the back of the car for a year similar to those familial keepsakes? Maybe. But it’s also more than that. It’s covered in blood and lake water, and I’m sure Dean would explain it away that Cas was family and that’s why he kept the coat. Probably even believes that too. 

Then we have purgatory. 

Dean prays to Cas every night. He could get out of that place just on his own, but he stays there for months in full combat just to look for the angel and get him out with him.

“First we find the angel”

“Cas, we’re gettin’ out of here. We’re going home.”

“Cas, buddy, I need you.”

“Let me bottom line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?”

“Cas, we’re gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

“It’s gonna work. Nobody gets left behind.”

When we meet Benny, Dean’s only other primary male pairing of consequence, he is not trusted. This team-up is one of strategy and a mutual goal only- at least at first. Dean and Benny fight well side by side, but the trust only runs so far. That is, until during one particular fight with leviathans in which Cas nearly bites it, Benny saves the angel’s life. This is the main turning point for Dean’s entire trust in Benny from here on out. 

“Benny has never let me down.” Dean says later to Sam. And he never did. He saved Cas, got Dean out of purgatory, and then later on he gets himself sent back to purgatory just so he can help Dean’s brother get out of there. 

Dean and Benny’s relationship was “pure” in purgatory. They didn’t have to worry as much about the fact that Benny was a vampire and Dean was a hunter, they were just brothers in arms who earned one another’s trust, respect and love. There’s no way you let a man kill you and send you to purgatory to save his brother if you don’t love him. 

 Their relationship once they broke out of purgatory is where things began to sour, not because of anything either of them did to the other, but more the space they let grow. Regular Earth was different from purgatory and these men had to go back to their roles and say sayonara. “What happened in purgatory stayed in purgatory” and all that. Benny was a vampire and Dean was a hunter. That kind of thing mattered here despite the fact that they did care for one another. 

Dean and Benny’s tumultuous relationship in relation to the people in Dean’s life could be reminiscent of a queer experience in itself. A lack of acceptance from Sam, Bobby, Martin- Dean’s family. Not because of who Benny was, but what he was. Pair this with the already established fact that Amelia and Sam were a direct parallel to Dean and Benny, Season 8 has been one of the most blatantly queer-coded seasons as of yet. 

Which brings us to “Goodbye Stranger.” It is established early on this season that Dean feels that there’s something wrong with Cas, something off about him. The fact that they don’t know how he popped out of purgatory is just one part of it. It’s in the way he acts, how spacey he is, the fact that he doesn’t answer Dean’s prayers. “I always come when you call.” Cas once said. And he did. Until now.

This is another aspect of their relationship which is simply there and not spoken about much- similar to their staring and eye communication thing they do. Dean started their relationship unable to read all of Cas’ quirks very well and unsure of the guy. Now, he’s fluent in the language of Cas. He knows by tone of voice, by shiftiness, by his expressions- when something is up. Maybe he started paying more attention after the whole Rafael situation until he could read Cas like the back of his hand, or maybe he just started paying attention just to pay attention. 

He’s known something is wrong for months while Cas has been under Naomi’s control. Just the same as years later, he knows something is up when Lucifer is taking a ride in Cas’ body. And he knows in 12x15 just by the way Cas speaks on the phone that something is off with him. 

They come upon the angel tablet in the crypt, and Dean does fight back when Cas starts in on him, but he spends even more energy trying to get Cas to come back to him and fight whatever force has him under control. He never once stopped to think that this was just Cas. “This isn’t you! Fight this!” Dean would repeat over and over as Cas beats him nearly to death. 

There was a moment he certainly thought that Cas would kill him, and it seemed like he was more bothered by the fact that it was Cas that would do it more so than the thought of dying. 

Cas breaks through the mind control, heals Dean. Then he leaves. So, again, Cas leaves. He keeps doing that to Dean. I stated before that Dean’s abandonment issues come into play in this relationship, but unlike at the beginning where Dean saw a future that Cas stays in, this Cas keeps coming and going. This makes it difficult for Dean to trust him fully, to rely on him. But the fact of the matter is that he does still trust him completely, and that’s what bothers Dean. 

When Cas does come back again, collapsed and bloody in the middle of the street, Dean puts up a wall. He’s hurt and he’s tired. He doesn’t want to trust him as much as he does and he definitely doesn’t want him to keep coming and going without a thought. (What’s interesting to note here, though, is Dean’s change in character as this occurs through the years. Because while here he may simply give Cas the cold shoulder and not talk much about his hurt in this situation, we see later on in 12x19 after Dean has been fretting for days about where Cas has gone off to, and Cas finally does return, he voices his side of things. “With everything that’s going on, you can’t just go dark like that. We didn’t know what happened to you. We were worried, that’s not okay.”)

Naomi hits the nail on the head when she visits Dean after Castiel disappears and she notices Dean still hasn’t warded the boat against angels. It is moments like these that we realize just how much everyone else around these two also notice their chemistry and their deep devotion to one another, always seeming to fall back to one another. 

“I think you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who’s in love with you.” - Balthazar S6

“The stench of that impala is all over your overcoat, angel.” - Crowley S6

“Castiel? Oh, he’s not here. See, he has this weakness. He likes you.” -Uriel S4

(to Dean) “Go ask him, he was your boyfriend first.” - Meg S7

“I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love, what you fear.” - The Empty S13

“And then after a rousing speech, his true weakness is revealed. He’s in love... with humanity.” - Metatron S9

“I’m sorry, did you just say that you lost a Winchester? Because, one, that’s... interesting. And, two, how is it that you lost Dean? I thought the two of you were joined at the... you know, everything.” - Kipling S14

“And for what again? Oh, that’s right, to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you drape yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was about saving one human, right? Well, guess what? He’s dead, too.” - Metatron S9

“Don’t lose it all over one man.” - Hannah S9

“The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell he was lost!” - Hester S7

“Oh, sweet. Almost anything. Castiel? He’s dead. All the way dead. Because of you.” - Miriam S13

“And then you’d kill the angel, Castiel. Now that one, that I suspect would hurt something awful.” - Cain S10

“He should know this- Lucifer, his favorite, isn’t doing so well. Say nothing of the vessel, your friend Castiel.” - Amara S11

“I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness, the same way I cured my own. By cutting it out.” - Isham S12

Bonus: Dean to Sam about Garth’s baby Castiel- Dean: “This Cas keeps looking at me weird.” Sam: “So kinda like the real Cas.”

It is time and again that opposing forces recognize the relationship between Dean and Castiel, and it’s commented on and used against them frequently.

As we move forward to the angels falling and human Castiel, this season opens up with dean in the hospital with a very ill Sam. The first thing he does before contacting anyone else is pray to Castiel. There’s a moment in 9x03 where Castiel walks into a church and speaks with a woman there. He expresses his lack of faith and she says, “I guess that’s why we pray. You need something stronger than yourself.” Dean never prayed until he started praying to Cas. He prayed to Cas during the apocalypse, in purgatory, when Sam was sick during the trials, now in this hospital. Dean might not have faith in God, but he does in Cas. 

Castiel is human, and while Dean tears apart the grid trying to find him while angels are on Cas’ ass, he still watches him die, then has to kick him from the safety of the bunker the very same day. Up until this point, Cas has been a genuine part of their family regardless of their squabbles over the past months, but kicking him from the bunker damages that. Once the reasoning comes to light, however, Cas is forgiving immediately. He’d forgiven Dean even before that. That’s one thing about Cas that Dean never seems to get over either. Dean can get angry and take things out on him, kick him from the bunker, make stupid decisions and nearly kill himself, holler at him, blame him, but Cas comes back every time. He forgives him every time. It’s already overwhelming when Sam does this, but the ease at which Castiel consistently forgives Dean is a lot. 

Dean gets the Mark of Cain. It’s a means to an end, he says. When he becomes a demon as a result, this is when his relationship with Crowley is deepened. This relationship is an interesting one because it’s essentially an unrequited example. Dean likes Crowley, and when he’s a demon he has a good time, but Crowley’s feelings appear to go much deeper- even if he tries not to show it. 

 It is very possible that Dean and Crowley’s relationship is a formation more as a result of a joke than anything else- where the writers are concerned. But whether that was the intention or not, this is a relationship that continues to affect Crowley’s actions towards Dean for the rest of the series. He doesn’t let Dean kill innocents as he’s a demon, he saves Castiel from certain death as his grace drains, he gives Sam the information to find Dean so he can be cured, and he aids in getting the mark removed from Dean even as Sam attempts to kill him in the process. In return, Dean gives Crowley the benefit of the doubt more often, and they share a sort of mutual respect. What differs here, however, from Dean’s relationships with Benny or Castiel, is Dean’s actions. It is clear that Dean doesn’t feel as deeply as Crowley does, so this is an interesting relationship to compare side by side with the others. 

Not only this, but DeanxCrowley in these first few episodes can be seen as a parallel with CasxHannah. Two unreciprocated relationships which do not last long in this particular phase, but do result in a friendship within these pairings as time goes on. 

Still with the Mark of Cain, Dean and Cain have a few things in common. Cain had said that his wife, Colette, before she died had asked him to stop. Stop the killing. It’s several months after that that Dean is going off the rails and Cas, behind Dean as he’s walking away, asks Dean to stop. He nearly kills Cas then, almost fulfilling Cain’s words just weeks earlier: “And then you’ll kill the angel, Castiel. And that, I suspect, would hurt something awful.” This is a direct romantic parallel written into the show. 

When the darkness is released, Amara and Dean are immediately drawn to one another through some sort of connection as a remnant of the mark. This relationship is another interesting one, because it ties in to true desire and consent. Dean is drawn to her, yes, and she is sold as a sort of potential love interest this season, but Dean himself doesn’t want anything to do with her. He’s hypnotized when he’s around her, but as soon as he’s away this energy dissipates. 

So in light of this storyline let’s talk about consent and the sexualization of Dean Winchester for a second, shall we?

Dean is an often highly sexualized individual. He plays along more in his younger days, but the older he gets the more frustrated he becomes with the whole situation. I’m sure there are more but here are some tentative examples (This is also something that happens to Sam a decent amount as well.): 

Wendy at the psych ward in “Sam, Interrupted” kisses Dean

Pamela touching Dean’s inner thigh in “Lazarus Rising” 

Ezra in “Time After Time” kisses Dean without consent

Gets turned into a vampire because he’s “pretty”

Pamela in “Dark Side of the Moon” kisses Dean

Almost becomes a vessel for Sandy’s mate in “The Thing” because she “enjoys looking at his face”

Amara kisses Dean in “O’ Brother Where Art Thou”

Mildred gropes Dean’s leg in “Into the Mystic” and continually makes advances even tho he’s uncomfortable. 

Random girl slaps Dean’s ass in “The Last Call”

Ellie in S8 wants to sleep with Dean and even kisses him randomly

Meg kisses Dean as he’s being held against his will in “Sympathy for the Devil”

Granted, there aren’t a plethora of examples, but it’s still a lot and it is interesting to see how often Dean has been sexualized for someone else’s pleasure. It is bound to work into his characterization as well, and his sense of self-worth. He’s often described as the pretty one of the brothers, and seeing as he is the more promiscuous of the two, it is assumed that he welcomes all of or most of the attention that comes his way.

It is for this reason in particular that the situation with Amara is bothersome to me. Not only is Dean taken advantage of physically, but his mind is essentially hypnotized whenever she is near, not giving him total control over his actions or desires. Amara is in part meant to be sold as a romantic interest, but throughout the season Dean continually expresses his discontent. He’s even ashamed to admit these feelings to Sam and Cas, even though he knows it isn’t his fault he still feels responsible. (Which, if we think about it, this is could be a queer allegory too. The lack of choice, feeling shame, etc.)

What is notable, however, is the day that they attempt to capture Lucifer and speak to Cas to get him to expel Lucifer from his body. Amara makes a surprise appearance and captures Lucifer/Cas herself. Dean yells to Cas. This catches Amara’s attention and appears to confuse her, and even Lucifer, seeing as when Dean is around her he’s meant to have eyes for just her because of their “bond”. His link to Castiel appears to be stronger, however.  

Amara uses this connection between Cas and Dean when she wishes to contact Dean, simply by placing her hand over Castiel’s heart. She says to Dean, “If you should cross paths, if (god) should reach out to you, he should know this - Lucifer, his favorite, isn’t doing so well. Say nothing of the vessel, your friend Castiel.”

If we backtrack a moment, Dean finding out that Castiel is possessed in the first place is a very emotional time for Dean. He doesn’t want to accept that Cas would make such a decision, put himself in that kind of danger, and choose to leave once again. Sam, the arguably more rational thinker at this current time, tries to rationalize that Cas may not come back willingly since he chose to let Lucifer in. “Not possible.” Dean says. It’s simply not possible that Cas doesn’t want to come back to them. It’s not something he can accept. 

The next several episodes are begun with Dean either losing sleep trying to figure out what to do about Cas, or simply moping about. Sam has to comfort him each time. This is notable behavior as well, because Dean isn’t often one to wear his heart on his sleeve this frequently. Certainly he has his moments, but much of the time when he’s distressed he simply buries it all down and puts up a front. He doesn’t do that here. In fact, once they do begin to put together a plan with Crowley, Sam thinks they should still utilize Lucifer in the fight against Amara but thinks it’s foolish to move him into a new vessel. 

((I actually counted up the mopey Dean scenes- between finding out Cas is possessed, to getting Cas back.))

There are four convos with Sam (multiple episodes) where Sam has to comfort Dean and say something along the lines of “we’ll get him back.” (Just as an aside, I don’t think there has ever been a scene in the series where Dean comforted Sam about Cas, it’s always Sam having to comfort a freaking out Dean)

Then, of course, there’s the scene where Dean comforts a victim and she says “I watched the man I love die. There’s no normal after that.” 

There’s the “It’s not an ‘it,’ Sam. It’s Cas.” scene. 

There’s Dean trying to get through to Cas when they capture Lucifer. 

There’s the Dean yelling “Cas?” to Casifer when Amara is in the room. 

There’s two more scenes where Sam comforts Dean again. 

There’s “The Chitters” episode with the gay hunter couple. (This isn’t a direct relation, but more of an honorable mention because it seems abstractly relevant)

Amara connecting to Dean through Cas’ heart.

Dean freaking out about making it to Cas in time and again talking to Sam about it.

Dean asking “what about Cas?” as they’re planning the attack with God against Amara.

Someone has said once that you can tell that Dean is in love with Cas because Sam isn’t. It’s in moments like this that this becomes readily apparent. Yes, Sam cares about Cas, of course. But it’s just different than the way that Dean cares about Cas. When Dean cares about certain people, this love weaves into the very fabric of his being and he just feels it so completely and overwhelmingly, he can’t simply not fight for it. 

“Dean, it’s a strong vessel, it’s held Cas for years, and we know what he’s been through.” Sam says.

“It? It’s not an ‘it,’ Sam. It’s Cas.”

Dean appears almost shocked that these words would pass through Sam’s mouth. He’s confused that Sam wouldn’t fight for Cas just as much as Dean would. The type of love they each have for the angel is just different. Visually, action-wise, reaction-wise. This conversation in “Hell’s Angel” highlights that. 

You know what else highlights it? The fact that when they do trap Lucifer, it’s only Dean who gets through to Cas and talks to him to get him to come back and expel Lucifer. It’s Cas only seeking Dean’s forgiveness in S7 when putting the souls back in Purgatory. It’s Dean in S6 being the only one to defend Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King.” It’s Dean later in that same episode being the one to get through to Cas in the circle of holy fire. It’s “I did it, all of it, for you.” It’s Dean carrying around that trenchcoat for a year and mourning when Sam doesn’t. It’s Bobby checking in on Dean mourning Cas, but doesn’t check in with Sam about it. It’s Sam pulling Dean out of the apocalypse world in season 12 as Dean screams for Cas and physically fights against Sam to get to Cas. It’s Sam seeing Cas dead on the ground minutes later, but still able to walk away while Dean is frozen in place, frozen in shock. It’s Dean being the only one to wrap up Cas’ dead body. It’s Sam always having to reassure Dean that Cas is probably fine, whenever he goes missing for a little while. It’s Dean hardly able to function in S13 with this encompassing grief over Cas’ death and yelling “It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t.” It’s S15 when Rowena tells Dean and Cas to fix their quarrel before it’s too late, and later Dean in purgatory not sure of it is too late as he’s praying for Cas to be okay and crying against a tree. 

Sam’s reactions are important to take into account. Sam cares, yes, but Cas isn’t as wholly encompassing in his life as he is in Dean’s. If anything else is to prove that, it’s the way that Dean grieves (I mean, if you were to put Sam in Dean’s place in 15x09 in Purgatory and their fight, there’s no way that Sam would react this extremely). 

There are three different points to highlight Dean’s grief. The first is season 7 with the trenchcoat, which we’ve already talked about. The second is when Cas is possessed by Lucifer, which we have covered as well. The most damning, however, is Dean’s season 13 grief arc following Cas’ death. Dean also loses his mother during this time and a few other friends, but considering how he reacts when Cas comes back, a great amount of this grief has to do with Cas. Dean completely loses hope and faith in anything at all during this time. He hates Jack for giving Cas false hope and getting him killed. He doesn’t believe in their mission anymore. He doesn’t believe anything matters at all. “Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.” Dean admits to Sam. When Cas comes back from the dead, however, he pulls a complete 180. He has hope again. He has faith. And all of it begins with Cas.

Lastly, Dean never hooks up with anyone again after Castiel’s final resurrection. We can go through an outline of the steady decline of Dean’s hookups and relations outside of Cas as the decade goes, but during this three year window specifically, Dean’s only pairing is Cas. Sure, he might flirt with someone every now and again, but this never goes anywhere. (Arguably the person he flirts with the most in any episode in these final three seasons is Daphne, but idk if that even counts much considering she is a cartoon.)  And as Pamela says once in Rocky’s bar: “Besides, you don’t want me. You just like to flirt. I’m psychic so I kinda know.” And that was just in Dean’s head anyways so it’s probably even more true than had Pamela actually said it herself. 

When Jack comes in the picture in season 13, and Castiel comes back from the dead, this makeshift little family is formed. All three men act as father figures to this half-angel kid at different capacities, and amongst this dynamic another is formed a bit further between Dean and Cas. They’ve already been acting a bit as an old married couple in recent years (Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, anyone?) but this co-parenting scenario they’ve found themselves in has solidified this dynamic all the more as they collaborate on the issues that arise with Jack. In “Lebanon” when John Winchester comes back for a brief period, John even says to Dean that he’d hoped he would get a family someday and get out of hunting and such. Dean replies, “I have a family.” Sam, Cas, and Jack are his family. Cas has been family for a long time, but here and now Dean just isn’t looking for anything else or anything normal. He’s happy with himself and the people he’s surrounded by. He’s not looking for anything else or anyone else. 

For a change of perspective, let’s check out Castiel’s relationships over the years.

Unlike Dean, Castiel’s queerness and interest in Dean has been officially canonized. We can speculate all we want on the legitimacy of Dean’s love for Cas, but we can speak in certainties about Castiel. Castiel is in love with Dean Winchester. Speculation can come in when we consider, just how long has this love existed for him? Let’s start from the beginning.

Right off the bat when we meet Castiel, he’s a semi-emotionless soldier of heaven who works under strict orders and doesn’t have much free-will. Dean begins to change this. We can see even in their first couple encounters that Castiel is interested in Dean- in what he has to say, intrigue in the fact that Dean talks back to the angels (despite that these angels are unkillable beings and could smite him on the spot), the fact that he’s snarky and brave and questions everything. Where Uriel finds Dean annoying and blasphemous, Castiel finds the back-talk fascinating. Dean’s words impact Cas, and it’s not long before he starts to have doubts about Heaven. Following these orders blindly and unquestioningly starts to seem foolish when Dean puts things in a different perspective. 

Even after Cas undergoes what some have funnily dubbed “conversion therapy” in “The Rapture” (when Cas had finally decided on going against Heaven and to help Dean stop the apocalypse) it’s still not enough to stop him completely. A bit more time with Dean and he’s convinced yet again to help this one human man stop the apocalypse with his brother. He even dies for him and this new mission of his. 

Castiel throughout this first season is interesting because we see firsthand his struggle to understand beginning to feel emotions and accept thinking for himself. “For the first time, I feel...” He says to Anna. He wants her to tell him what to do. He wants orders because that’s all he knows, and he doesn’t understand why suddenly he cares. It hurts him to send Dean in to torture Alastair. It hurts him even later when in the beautiful room Dean dismisses him with a “What do you care, you’re already dead. We’re done.” 

It’s possible that in these first several months, or even these first couple seasons, that Castiel follows Dean around and does as he asks because he’s allotted Dean as the new being he serves. Because serving is what he knows. But it’s also through this that he begins caring more and more. He learns more how to express certain emotions, he learns more about humanity, he learns more about what is important in life and what is worth fighting for. As Cas will admit himself 12 years later, “Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you.”

We start to see sprinkles of this especially throughout season 5 as Cas begins to come to terms with caring and adopting Dean’s mindset to care. Consider Sam for a moment. He and Cas don’t necessarily get along a lot and mostly just tolerate one another in these early days. However, as we see in “Abandon All Hope” when Castiel is captured by Lucifer, Cas gets visually upset at the concept of Lucifer taking Sam as his vessel. “You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won’t let you.” 

Sam and Cas don’t have much of a relationship at this point, but Cas cares because Dean does. In “The Song Remains the Same” not long later, he even refers to Sam as his friend.

By the time S6 rolls around Castiel is in the midst of a civil war in heaven entirely because he has adopted the Winchester’s all encompassing mindset on the importance of free-will. Castiel is making his own choices, and he does everything he can to protect the Winchesters from harm as he does so. He decides not to seek out Dean’s help while he’s raking leaves because Dean had already sacrificed too much in Castiel’s eyes. He raises Sam from perdition because he feels it the right thing to do. He re-sinks the Titanic to keep the boys from being killed by Fate. 

Personally, I think Castiel has been slowly falling in love with Dean this entire time, he’s just not aware what this feeling is. But this becomes even more plausible to me when we get Castiel’s perspective in “The Man Who Would Be King.” Cas cares what Bobby and Sam think of him, sure, but all he focuses on is Dean. Dean’s happiness and ensuring he not sacrifice more. Dean’s loyalty even as Cas seems to be guilty. Dean’s words when they capture Cas in holy fire. 

The problem is, their relationship this season is also rocky. Cas seems to think that he’s merely a tool at the Winchester’s disposal and not much else. But he doesn’t mind because he cares about them so much, so what do his feelings matter? He sees himself as their protector. Their guardian angel. A role he’s fine with filling regardless of how they feel in return. 

But when things get bad, Dean says to him “Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family. You are like a brother to me. So if I’m asking you not to do something... You’ve gotta trust me, man.” and Cas seems genuinely surprised at this admission. Emotional, even. 

As time goes on, Castiel’s actions nearly primarily revolve around Dean

After Cas realizes his error and is sending the purgatory souls back to their place, he tells Dean repeatedly that he’ll find some way to redeem himself to him. That’s the most important thing to him then. 

When Cas smites the demons outside of the mental hospital in 7x17, all of his flashes of memories coming back were memories of Dean. 

Partially to aid Sam and partially to redeem himself to Dean, Cas takes on Sam’s Hell brain in the asylum and goes crazy.

Cas runs in purgatory to keep the leviathans away from Dean. 

Cas breaks out of Naomi’s mind control/brainwashing because of his feelings for Dean.

Let’s talk about that final bullet point for a moment. The Naomi chapter is damning in “Goodbye Stranger.” It isn’t copies of both Sam and Dean that Naomi trains Castiel to kill hundreds upon hundreds of times. No, it’s ONLY clones of Dean. 

“What broke the connection?” Dean will ask after Castiel heals him in the crypt and takes control back over his mind. “I don’t know.” Cas will say. It wasn’t the angel tablet. That may have unwound the last of Naomi’s control over him, yes, but he’d dropped that angel blade before that. It was Dean that broke that connection. Even if this remains unsaid, it doesn’t make it any less true. Maybe Castiel starts to have an understanding of what his feelings are and what they mean here, but he won’t be truly sure until he soon becomes human. 

Before we get there, though, we’ll take a brief pause to explore Cas’ heterosexual explorations and connections. 

First is Meg. Cas’ relationship with Meg is born of sexual exploration more than anything else at its conception. He’d just been watching porn in his downtime and when Meg kisses him, he goes with it enthusiastically. Later, he seems to have a certain infatuation with her in his “crazy” state, and seems to trust her perhaps simply because she had been watching over him in the institution. 

This is interesting because in his “crazy” state, Cas is a lot more raw and unfiltered and optimistic than he ever has been before. He compliments her, is concerned with her safety, and trusts her. On the contrary, with Dean, Cas is a lot more hesitant and even fearful when talking about certain subjects with him because of his past failings. He tries to keep the peace without directly getting involved because his direct involvement in the past had failed them all so spectacularly. 

He and Meg continue to have a sort of connection whenever they cross paths until her demise the next season, and he still holds a respect for her years later, continuing to use her nickname for him “Clarence” as an alias at various times. 

When Castiel becomes human in S9, he’s a bit lost and overwhelmed. April takes him in for the night. Although this is a short-lived romance considering she tortures and kills him the next day, for a brief enough time Cas starts to become acquainted with human romance and sexual desire. He loses his virginity to her. It is estimated by some that this is merely sexual experimentation on the part of a very confused newly human Cas, and others have used this to say that Cas is not gay but pan or bi. The conclusion in any regard, in my opinion, is purely up to the viewer. 

If I’m to offer my opinion, however, seeing as he has shown interest in both sexes, though remains unlabeled, I consider him simply an unlabeled queer person. Sexual identity and orientation has never seemed to matter much to Castiel, so I don’t see why it should matter to me. He loves who he loves, simple as that. 

When we get to Hannah, she provides an interesting foil to Castiel for a time, and an emphasizing expression on just how much he’s changed since his introduction to Earth and the Winchesters. Where Castiel has been open to a plethora of new emotions and experiences through the years which have made him a bit more human than angel at times, Hannah is still new to humanity and the range and movement of emotions that come with it. Just how little she seems to understand proves how much Castiel has grown and does understand by comparison. 

As such, he seems to pick up on the fact that Hannah has an attachment to him that appears to be forming into a romantic or sexual interest. He gently turns her down multiple times, not expressing interest in her behavior although he does respect her greatly as a person. Though this relationship isn’t considered romantic from Castiel’s perspective, its unrequited nature again is a good parallel to Dean and Crowley’s relationship at this same time. Angel x Angel and Demon x Demon. Both one sided.

Now, let’s get back to Dean. 

Up to the point that Castiel turns human, for however brief a time, he finally gets a look behind the curtain of human emotion. Now, we all know that Cas is in love with Dean already here- and probably has been for some time. Years, even- but it’s my personal belief that during this time turning human is when he actually realizes it and understands where these emotions come from.

Maybe it’s the heartbreak of Dean kicking him from the bunker, maybe it’s seeing Dean again when he shows up in line at the Gas n Sip, or maybe it’s somewhere in between when he sees two people on the street looking at each other and realizes “oh, that’s love. I know what that is. I felt that, too.” And every moment from then on he realizes what that feeling was in his chest when he looked at Dean for a little too long, or why it hurt so much to see the pain in Dean’s eyes at something Cas had done, or why hearing Dean’s prayers to him just felt different than they did with Sam’s. Why everything that he’d done since he rebelled from heaven was in the name of doing the right thing, muddled alongside doing the right thing for Dean. Caring because of Dean. Caring for Dean.

It’s during this time when he realizes what these feelings are, that he also must come to terms with the fact that they’re unreciprocated (or as he believes, anyway). This is for two reasons. The first, he still believes at this time that Dean kicked him from the bunker just because. And the second, if there’s anything that Cas took to heart from Dean’s example as strongly as the concept of free-will, it’s self-loathing. He doesn’t see himself worthy of love. Dean doesn’t see himself worthy of love either. They’re both messy piles of self-loathing that breeds into a blindness to the depth of care they hold for one another.   

Now that we’re on the topic of self-loathing, this leads into Castiel and his decision to become Lucifer’s vessel in season 11. Much like Dean, Cas has a consistent issue with seeing his own personal self-worth, so when the opportunity comes along to “be of service to the fight” and become Lucifer’s vessel, he takes it on easily. He considers himself expendable, and he won’t see just how much Dean struggles with this fact while he’s possessed. In fact, Cas never knows just how much Dean struggles with his absence at all, which is just one of the many divides between the two of them that could easily be resolved with communication, if either were ever good at that. 

Once Lucifer is shoved from Cas’ body, however, Dean makes a point to let Cas know just how important he is in his life. He’s said Cas was family before, but that was before the falling out at the end of season 6. Dean makes it clear that he and Sam both consider Cas family, once again, during a ride in Baby. “You’re our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.” 

Now, here, simultaneous heartbreak and love occur. Because while Cas is likely very much in love with Dean here, and very much aware of it, to hear that Dean simply thinks of him as a brother must ache a bit. However, we’re also talking about Dean Winchester, and for him to call someone a brother is an immense depth of love, probably the most the man is even capable of. Dean never says the words “I love you” to anyone, so this is about the closest anyone could get. Cas knows this, he’s well-versed in the ways of Dean Winchester by now. So, while it aches, his heart is also full. 

Comparable to:

“We need you, Cas. I need you.” 8x17

“We’re gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.” 8x05

“Don’t make me lose you, too.” 7x23

“Don’t do anything stupid” 

The entire purgatory confession/apology prayer in 15x09

Cas returns this love just hours later, offering to go with Dean to die taking out Amara.

If we jump forward to the divorce arc of season 14-15, we can hit upon the next great heartbreak of Castiel’s sad little love life. While the Winchester brothers, Castiel, and Jack have all become a family unit, Castiel never wants to lose that. But two things happen. First, Cas’ deal with The Empty is made, and somewhere along the line, silently, he becomes aware that allowing himself to be happy, and that happiness, somehow involves Dean. The second thing that happens is Jack kills Mary Winchester, and Dean says Castiel is dead to him. 

So, The Empty won’t take him, but his family is broken apart. Castiel never gives up on a single family member, though. That’s the thing about Cas. The same way he consistently forgives Dean for all his behaviors over the years, he never loses faith in anyone in this family. And when they come to reunite, he’s happy simply in appreciating any and all time they have together, however brief.

Then, in true Castiel fashion, he sacrifices himself for Dean Winchester in 15x18. 

Their relationship has always left things unsaid, but I don’t think there’s ever been a question on whether Dean loves Cas or Cas loves Dean even if they don’t talk about it. You can’t look at Cas and Dean’s faces seeing each other again for the first time in weeks at the end of “The Last Call” and say that there wasn’t love and heartbreak there. On some level I think that Cas knew that Dean loved him back, but Dean was so buried in trauma at that point that it might take him years more to realize what he actually felt and what he needed. But Cas is such a selfless lover that he was absolutely 100% fine with just being around Dean for the rest of his life, even if he never got a chance to tell him how much he genuinely cared for him, and never got that reciprocation back. Castiel’s love for Dean is so pure and selfless it’s overwhelming to even consider, but for someone like Dean it would be a hundred times harder to accept or even fathom someone caring about him as much as Cas does. 

So Castiel never pushes Dean further, never suggests, barely even touches him. The only liberties Cas takes are small touches to heal him (even though he doesn’t need to touch a person to heal them), a few small hugs through the years, just sharing comfortable space inside the impala, small moments watching Dean’s favorite movies with him, or sharing a moment over beers in the kitchen. And Cas’ happiness was in telling Dean how much he loved him likely because then maybe Dean would actually see how much he was worth. Cas wanted Dean to know how much he loved him and how he viewed him, because Dean deserved to love himself and was worthy of it. 

The five types of love languages are as follows:

Words of affirmation

Physical touch

Gift giving

Acts of Service

Quality Time

One of the reasons Dean and Cas miss the mark with one another so often could simply come down to love languages. A lot of the time, what a person needs in love language is often what they also give. I don’t think this is the case where these two are concerned, though. They’re both so sacrificial that it’s difficult for them to accept this in return, even though this is what they each offer to the other and anyone else around them. 

Both Cas and Dean’s giving love language is “acts of service” which translates into sacrificial actions much of the time, though it can also be more domestic than that as well. It’s Dean grabbing an extra beer for Cas or making food, or it’s Cas healing Dean without any prompting, Cas loading up on pie and beer at the Gas n Sip when Dean’s mad at him. 

What they each need, however, is different. Dean needs “quality time.” He needs his people close, he needs them to answer calls, and he needs to know where they are. This clearly ties in to his abandonment issues, and it hurts his relationship with Cas significantly when the angel just keeps leaving, or disappears without answering his phone for days at a time. And when he dies, obviously. He always comes back, though. And half the time when he’s gone it’s because he’s trying to get a win for Dean against whatever issue the team is facing at the time. 

What Cas needs, best I can tell, is “words of affirmation.” Cas has a consistent problem with thinking that he’s worth less than he is, and is less important to the people around him than he is. Dean obviously has this issue, too, but with Cas it’s somehow infinitely worse, if that’s even possible. Frequently, what he needs to get him going in low points is a few words from Dean or encouragement in general. To name a few:

“Maybe to fix it.” 7x17

“I’d rather have you, cursed or not.” 7x23, Cas then goes with Dean to find and kill Dick Roman

“I’m not leaving here without you.” S8 in purgatory when Cas wanted Dean to leave him behind but Dean was having none of it.

“You’re our brother, Cas.” 11x23, after Cas was possessed by Lucifer and thought he was expendable. 

Over time, Dean does get a bit more vocal with Cas about issues he’s having or just with encouraging words as well. Cas, too, sticks around a lot more. They’re not perfect but they do begin to grow and work with one another in these later years to give one another what they need most to see how much the other is loved. 

In conclusion, there is a significant amount of romance and sexuality written into this show, and simply interpreted as well. And that’s the thing, when a queer person says that they interpreted a certain piece of media as queer, it’s not up to someone else to say that they can’t, or shouldn’t, or that they’re interpreting something wrong. That’s the thing about media, it can have so many different interpretations and meanings to so many different people. 

It’s my personal interpretation to see the queerness embedded in the text here. Maybe it’s not there for another person, and that’s cool too, just don’t tell me how I should see it. The fact is that it was written into the show to be interpreted, and interpret is what we did. 

I’d love to hear any feedback that others may have regarding this. Any other theories, different interpretations, things I may have missed. I hope you enjoy the edits, and the endings I put together for them. We all need a little bit of happiness after that ending, so I hope it leaves you with a lighter heart. :)

Much love,

Taylor

[nellynee]

Trollstopia Blindblogging: episode 6A - Girl’s Night

This is very much a Val episode, which makes it a solid 3.5 by default. But the song in this is boppin, it’s got some really cute moments, and freaking PICK JAGGER bumps it up to a 4 for sure. Demo is Valid and So is Val and Poppy scares me more with every episode

You know I occasionally spend time thinking about the different relationship with music Trolls have in the movie continuity vs the cartoon. How, with the exception of “Get Back Up Again”, most movie song breaks appear to be already established work being recited both in canon and in real life or at the very least are vague enough to be reperformed in the future, while in the cartoon they burst into song about their very, very specific circumstance. Movie song breaks are more about the vibe, the feeling of the scene, while in the cartoon it’s all very literal. I think a lot of the cultural implications of previously written and composed music vs original work in the different tribes, where it’s appropriate and how it’s viewed. I think a lot about the music I wish we could see in the cartoon if copywrite laws weren't a burning stranglehold of a hellscape and by whom. That being said....

This is ladies' night, and the feelings right. This is ladies' night, oh what a night.

Like, given how Val is supposed to be an expy of Barb, I expected her to be at least a little bit more Tsundere over Poppy but... she really actually doesn’t like Poppy does she?

Ok I can’t blame Poppy for not being able to take “ugh” for an answer. There’s some coding that she was a highly indulged child, raised to be an authority figure who has self assigned everyone’s happiness as part of her job as said authority figure, and the one Troll for a very long time they she knew who was exceptionally negative compared to her cohort turned out in the end to be largely performative and needed/still needs aggressively persistent approaches to get him to attempt new things that he tends to largely enjoy at the end. Poppy has been tailor made to not take no for an answer. She is an incredibly flawed product of her upraising and I adore her for it. Still a very yikes on trikes look tho.

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL

on the one hand that overly cheerful giggle as her scissors slowly went towards the paper was terrifying. On the other hand, Val, same. UGH

“Next thing you know, we’ll be talking about our feelings” Val says, draped on a comfortable couch with her Manager, talking about her feelings.

Ok they of course went in a really silly direction but the idea of Val feeling like she’s “Loosing her Edge” is a legit concern that could have been addressed in a very interesting way. That, as a migrant in a new, melting pot city, the idea of getting swept along and loosing your own culture is a very real concern of migrants across the world. Like that’s a legit issue people have. That could have been talked about.

Alternatively though, they could still potentially talk about Troll constants, and learning to explore and incorporate new aspects of yourself without feeling like loosing a core aspect of your personality. That is also a conversation to be had. I doubt we will have that conversation. But we could.

“wanna mosh it over in the thinking pit?” I just about lost my mind that sentence was nonsense and it’s a hole in the ground full of trolls where you crowd surf I'm gonna die. 

HOLY SHIT Girls, Girls, Girls! is a damn BOP! Like shocked the hell out of me. I knew it was coming but not that it would be so good. I’ve been pretty ambivalent towards the more Pop centered songs so far but no more excuses show, you can pull it off. hot damn. Between this and Right Trolls for the Job there’s hope for this soundtrack yet

“The next thing on our agenda iiiiiiiis.....” (me, only half joking “Panty Raid, Panty Raid, Panty Raid”) “Trolls Pranks!” (oh god is this the PG version of Panty raid?)

Calling it now. Wimpy not actual pranks that disappoint Val and she has to show them how to do it

ok no actually this is super cute

Why is Poppy so threatening?

I mean I’m sorry I don’t quiiiiiiite trust this production team enough to think that it’s the application of Val’s insecurities projected onto Poppy’s good intentions. Which would be cool. But legit Poppy has been incredibly threatening this series and I kinda dig it

Val, waving her arms out the door and screaming at the top of her lungs: “SIGNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL” Demo: *gasp* “The signal!”

That got me

Ok but what a great friend he is, sitting in a bush, awake, alone, all night, on the off chance that Val might become uncomfortable enough to need an out.

I want to call Demo out but I myself am absolutly that bitch. Head empty, trust the process, no thoughts under pressure.

PICK JAGGER

PICK. JAGGER.

I’M GONNA FUCKING PISS

my back is out so bad and I can’t stop laughing and it hurts so much but

Pick Jagger

Oh my fucking god that little finger twine hand hold cheek smoosh between Val and Demo is legit the cutest fucking thing. Shippy or not normalize me some physicals affection

Demo Yes!

Ok yea that’s a pretty good lesson. Poppy can’t possibly cater this even in such a way that Val is going to feel safe. It’s just a natural byproduct of what they are doing. So she’s going to leave her alone about it, but keep the invitation open. And while learning to take a no is a very good lesson, that it’s Val who need to evaluate and decide where taking risks despite being afraid is worth it, which is a valuable skill to cultivate. Finding and defining places where you are willing to be venerable in the risk of gaining experiences. The onus is on both sides for her to be able to comfortably mingle, not just on Poppy, and not just on Val. Setting and respecting boundaries while recognizing that you need to explore outside those boundaries

Demo you are 100% Valid and I love you more by the Minute. What an absolute cinnamon bun

little bull snort made of skulls 

Val likes flavor berry lip gloss. My inner lesbian knows exactly how she figured that out wink wonk.

GIRLS NIIIIIIIGHT!

[vrnicky]

Cough don’t mind me, just a nameless anon here for an advertised match up. You DO NOT know me at all

Basic personality: Introvert, Socially anxious, need to muster up a lot of courage if i were to be the one approaching. Once i got comfy, jokester ensured, can may sometimes be a bit loud depends on the comfortable-ness of the relationship and the other’s energy. Will back pedal hard if i spot any sign of negativity, until the person reassured me that the feeling is no longer there or isn’t directed at me (still uneasy tho). Laid back, easy going, playful, not that good at expressing affection wholeheartedly, i can jokingly said to marry you but the best i can do when soothing ya is giving ya water i poured myself and listen. If ya ask for advice, bet yo bum i’m going to sit down with you and analyze the situation like some puzzle to solve. Am actually very soft spoken when need to (i’m a softie gremlin, no courage at all)

Interest wise: I like video games, bantering with others, joking. Just laying down and relaxing while listening to music, spending times with friends if i feel like it. Digging up informations of something that interest me. Wants to know everything about a situation before throwing hand, i like to analyze certain aspects.

Sometimes like to observe creatures, sight-seeing, night time strolling, playing kinds of games with ppl i like (cards, boards, video games,...), teasing and joking with others, punning and words play. A home person

Dislikes: Serious Overly emotional stuff, no time for myself, no equal grounds, being pushed (forced) to do something, isn’t left on my own merrit, no patience for me (can i sometimes be brain dead being irritated aint help), direct confrontation

Pet-peeves: Degrading, unnecessary shouting, feed backs are good but theres no need for the scolding tone. Pushing their views onto me, not respecting anything i do (am self critical enough). Short temper (cause if i know them and is comfortable with them i will go ape sh*t). Being unreasonable, can’t take jokes

My soul trait is Integrity i think

Ye totally an anon i dont know... just tagging @slice-of-ll for the funsies ;)

I match you with... Sans, the classic one! (Undertale)

Okay, im being totally bias with the stuff going with Ratsoh's server but when i read your info this was clicked more in my dumb dumb brain!

Sans is totally fine with you being an introvert! And is very patient if you were the only one who would start the conversation so dont worry about that, even if he doesn't have that much of energy by his side, he will enjoy your "loud" attitude if you're already comfortable with him of course.

You dont like that much of negativity in someone? Dont worry! Sans poker face is the best for that, tho its weird in him to have trouble with other people lol.

He clearly enjoys how playful and easy going you are and will totally respect if you can't express affection that much but dont say marry me because he will choke in his drink everytime (mostly ketchup lol).

Sans admire the people who enjoys working in their stuff and even if you dont enjoy it that much, he will never force you to do it or try harder or pushing you to over-do yourself, you will have your space as long as you give him space too.

The dates you will have with him might be in-doors like some series marathon or movie nights or a nice dinner just the two of you alone or there's always a chance in going to have a walk around the park too, but fancy stuff? Only if its really important but he will take you to grillby's either way.

Shouting or fights will never happend with him, joke fights sure because Sans is patient with you in every way without having you like a fragile doll, the communication you two would have is amazing.

You two mind ended up hearing the problems of your friends and analize like fricking detectives lol.

Hope you enjoy what you got!! <3

The second option was Farren or Lur if you were curious!