#and when they couldn’t find a way to make her traditionally hot they just went ??? but how a woman if not hot ???

[nellasbookplanet]

Trying not to be annoyed at the people commenting on my mass effect wishlist about how they like the boob windows actually, because I get it’s a kind of jokey response to a kind of jokey post. I get wanting a bit of fanservice on occassion, or wanting to have optional sexy outfits or characters who dress in a sexy way if it suits their personality and/or the occassion (such as a character dressing up for a party).

But please tell me you didn’t somehow play the entire trilogy without noticing the massive disparity between male and female character design. I am not being jokey anymore, it’s genuinely gross how the games were seemingly so at a loss about what to do with a woman who can’t be sexualized that they simply refused to feature them at all, and all you can say is 'but I like the boob windows'!!

Okay yeah I'm annoyed.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from Reddit 5/30/2023 - 6/3/2023

“I don't know why I bothered getting a degree and a stupid job when someone could have just told me that I could be a professional sheep thrower instead.” “Quick! Somebody get the patent for a sheep launcher!” “I smoked for years, took a break, smoked a blunt and went into full blown psychosis.” “I think the "extremely conscious of myself" is fundamentally the problem.” “It will be a life long lesson for this theft.” “Definitely don’t steal the whole damn plant.” “This was not mildly infuriating, this was fully infuriating.” “Have you never had shark flavoured ice cream?! It’s the best flavour!” “Customers are awful.” “Poor old grumpy.” “Stupid guy in a stupid shirt making anyone around him miserable.” “Our choices are the keys of our success or failure.” “That was true compassion.” “One of the greatest scourges of the modern age is people with the confidence of God and no reason to have it.” “Why would someone feel the need to treat someone this way?!” “Sometimes you have to do bad things to bring out a good outcome” “And who gives a fuck about the babies?” “Oh you were emotionally attached to this one swan?” “Poop into the drain to teach it a lesson.” “Get use to it because society truly doesn’t give a shit about anyone” “Society cares about class over absolutely everything else.” “Society only cares about the rich” “Why aren't men looking out for other men?” “Such a punchable face.” “Thought it was a fucked up pig for a minute” “That’s well over half a pound of pure sugar.” "If it's vertical, people will climb it. If it's horizontal, people will fuck on it." “Male angler fish are born just to find a female, bite her, then fuse with her body to become her sperm sack for whenever she decides she wants babies.” “Is there a reason why so many male animals look so fancy?” “Men likely wore makeup long before women did. War paint and other customs that have been traditionally exercised by men in various cultures are forms of makeup and are as old as recorded human history.” “For good portions of history, men wore more flamboyant clothing, makeup and heels. Heels and makeup later became more a woman’s thing within the last two centuries.” “Not weird just stupid and pointless. And terrible of course.” “If men wore makeup women couldn't compete.” “There's nothing stopping men from being fabulous too” “How does anyone know what animals see as attractive in humans?” ““Pee on him to assert dominance“

“COME GET YOUR FUCKING KID RIGHT NOW” “So instead of saying something about it...you just took a picture?” “Who records themselves sleeping?” “Cats seem like awful pets” “It just looks a little too pristine ya know?” “Do you want mummies?! This is how you get mummies!” “They threw it out in the ocean because of an unstoppable demonic curse it bore.”

“A fashionable pirate would have had a matching eye patch and little treasure chest earrings.” “I can tell you for sure, this is not the solution for water shortage” “Twice the pleasure? Double the fun?” “Double the fun, or double trouble?” “I think putting hot people in anything is always going to look good.” “If it’s any consolation, modern clothing doesn’t look good on fat old dudes either.” “All I got from this is that if you're good looking, you can wear whatever the fuck you want.”

[bwbatta]

blush

Abstract: Aaron Hotchner makes you blush. You just so happen to have the same reaction on him. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: some swearing, some teasing from the BAU, mentions of sexy times, death by fluff, get ready for some blushing red cheeks gang

Word count: 2455

A/N: the super cute dividers are by @firefly-graphics!

You’d never thought you’d be dating someone from your team let alone it being Aaron, aka, your boss.

The two of you gave into your feelings for each other after one angsty night when a case went wrong and you ending up in the hospital. 

Admissions of love were shared between the two of you and by any definition you were now together, however deciding to keep it to yourselves for now.

Though hiding your new relationship from a team of profilers was difficult, especially as Aaron thought it funny to use it to his advantage.

“Delivery for Y/N” a voice was heard through the office as your head shot up and mouth fell open slightly at the display of red and white roses held by the delivery man.

“Over here!” Garcia’s excitable voice was heard and you can tell she was just brimming with questions along with Emily and JJ who had also caught sight of the amass of flowers heading your way.

The man popped the vase down on your desk and held out a keypad for you to sign for them. 

Scribbling your signature down, you were half in slight shock and half in awe of the floral arrangement in front of you.

“Who are these from?!” Penelope gushed “you never said you were seeing anyone!”

Plucking the small note from the top of the bunch, you flipped open the small envelope and pulled out the card.

“Just to see if I can make you blush. I love you -A “

Immediately your face flushed.

Damn you, Aaron.

“You’ve been holding out on us” JJ grinned at hot cheeks as you resisted the urge to look up at the window of Aaron’s office, knowing he was already probably watching.

“They’re just from someone” you said offhandedly like it wasn’t a big deal 

“Just someone?!” Derek’s voice was heard from behind you now “I’m guessing it was a guy who sent you these and he’s ‘just someone’ to you?!”

The gathering of the girls around your desk now had caught the attention of the rest of your team, all eager to find out who the flowers were from.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?” Emily grinned leaning against your desk as she admired the flowers “you’ve got to tell us something about him”

“He’s just a guy I’ve been seeing” you could help the smile which appeared across your face 

“A guy who likes to send our Y/N flowers” Derek teased 

It was slow day in the office and the arrival of your delivery was enough to make the team grasp the excuse of a break. Rossi had wandered down from his office and so had Hotch, the latter concealing the smile he wanted to show. 

“Who’s sent Y/N flowers?!” Rossi’s teasing tone was heard as everyone was now gathered 

“A mysterious boyfriend” JJ answered as you bit the inside of your cheek 

“He’s kind of a dick to be honest” you shrugged catching Aaron’s eye “sending me flowers knowing all of you will bombard me with questions”

“So he knows about us?” Emily’s eyebrow shot up 

“Mmm, told him everything about you lot” you mused “it’s almost as if he already knows you guys” 

You held back the chuckle that desperately wanted to escape your lips. 

“Seems like he obviously cares about you. The red roses are typical signs to show romance and love as well as commitment where as the white is traditionally about a new beginning or loyalty” Reid rambled off about the roses to the team as Hotch had raised an eyebrow at you as if to tease you.

Not trusting yourself to not expose the both of you, you dropped your eyes to the roses again as you felt the slight grin on your lips.

“So this guy loves you?!” Derek teased wiggling his eyebrows 

“Alright that’s it” you rolled your eyes with a smile “you all know too much now, I’m not saying anything else”

“You should know better than lying to a bunch of profilers, Y/N” Aaron’s voice was heard humorously 

“Exactly” Penelope grinned “Now of you could just tell me his first and last name along with his date of birth and blood type that would be great”

“I can’t believe you” was the first thing to come out of your mouth as Aaron opened the door to his apartment that night. 

A grin sat on his face as he took in your exasperated look

“I don’t know what you mean” 

“Don’t know what I mean?! I mean you delivering flowers to me which was obviously going to cause an avalanche of questions”

“Ohh, that”

With a look through narrowed eyes you passed him, walking further into the room, expression changing as soon as you and Jack both spotted each other.

“Y/N!” 

“Jack buddy! Hi!” 

Leaping off the seat he was on, his little legs sprinted over to you as you caught him and lifted him onto your hip with arms right around him in a hug. 

“Are we having another sleepover tonight?!” He asked excited 

“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask your dad” you said as immediately you both turned to Aaron with matching puppy eyes 

“Please, Daddy!” Jack asked as he wrapped his arms around your neck tighter “can Y/N stay over?”

“Yes please, Daddy” you smiled at your boyfriend who’s neck has grown a little redder at your teasing tone, knowing exactly what you did to him

“If Y/N wants to stay over, then yes” he grinned, face falling into a genuine smile as his son’s eyes lit up, though he remembered your teasing tone and stored it in his mind for later.

The evening consisted of building with Lego’s, followed by a meal made by Aaron who had happily watched on with genuine heart eyes as his two favourite people bounced off each other’s energy.

Before long a large yawn escaped the boy’s lips as he was snuggled in between you both, his head just dropping onto your shoulder, a key sign he was growing tired. 

Picking up his son, Jack waved a sleepy goodnight to you before Aaron placed him in bed and the boy was out like a light. 

“All the excitement of creating a huge Lego truck must’ve knocked him out” you chuckled as Aaron settled beside you, pulling you into his chest. 

Tugging your legs over his own, you cuddled into his chest as you both relaxed into each other.

“He adores you” Aaron kissed the crown of your head “as do I” 

“He’s my favourite Hotchner man” you shrugged with a slight smile on your face acutely aware of the narrowed eyes you now had staring down at you

“So, it’s not your wonderful boyfriend who sent you flowers at work today?” 

“He’s a close second” 

“Not even when you call him, Daddy?”

“You little-“

Feeling Aaron’s fingers immediately tickle your side your whole body blushed and convulsed trying to get away from the offending action of his hands.

With a bubble of laughter escaping your lips, Aaron immediately covered your lips with his own as you laughed into his mouth still. 

His hand wound through your hair pulling you ever closer as if he couldn’t get enough of you as his other hand wrapped firmly around your waist pulling you into his lap. 

His assault on your mouth lessened slightly until small sweet kisses were shared and you pulled back slightly to just take him in.

“I love you” he whispered leaning downward to find your lips again 

“I love you too” you smiled running your thumb over the bridge of his nose “more than you know”

No other words were said as Aaron lifted you up, you wrapping you legs around his waist in second nature as he wandered down the hallway to the master bedroom, closing the door behind you as you went.

“Holy hell, you obviously had a good night” came Dereks teasing tone as he took the seat next to you on the jet.

“What?”

“Well, as much as I can tell you’ve tried to hide the immense hickey on your neck, it’s still pretty obvious” he snickered 

A hand immediately went to your neck as you narrowed your eyes at him as he just continued to laugh 

“Hey, Em, check this out” he called as you slapped his arm, cheeks flushing 

“Nope, no, nothing to see” you shook your head trying to downplay your colleagues teasing 

“See what?” Emily grinned taking the seat opposite the two of you 

“Take a good look at our Y/N’s neck and tell me a good night was not had by this one?”

“Oh wow” the girl opposite grinned at you “is that from your boyfriend who you’ve told us absolutely nothing about?”

“...might be”

“What about Y/N’s boyfriend?” JJ took the other seat in the pod

“Well considering the damage done to Y/N’s neck...” Emily snickered 

“Oh my god you guys, stop it” you rolled your eyes as you could see Aaron trying to hide a smile as he took the couple seats opposite with Rossi

“Come on, tell us something else about this guy?” Rossi grinned “When are we going to meet him? Invite him to pasta night!”

“It’s still very new and as much as I love you guys, if you were to find out who he was, you’re guaranteed to overload the poor man”

“Overload the- are you kidding?” Derek shot you a look “when would we ever do that?!”

“Greetings my fine furry friends!” The bubbly voice of Garcia popped up “what are we talking about?”

“Y/N’s man” JJ snickered as you shot her a look

“Ooh has anything else been mentioned?”

“Not yet!” 

“As much as I love talking about my love life could we, I don’t know, focus on the case?”

The snickers came from the two females opposite you as everyone began to settle in as the briefing begun. 

“If you need to borrow some concealer, let me know” Emily whispered as you shot her an unamused look 

The gentle knock was heard on your hotel door at around 1:30am. Knowing exactly who it was, you didn’t bother to grab a jumper or anything as you opened the door in just your underwear.

“Well, hello” 

“Hello to you too” you grinned at his slightly stunned expression 

“Want some company?” 

Holding the door open further as an invitation for him to enter, Aaron slipped past you into your room, stealing a kiss from you in the process.

The door shut behind you as the two of you made your way over to the bed you had just come from.

Making yourselves comfortable, you curled into his chest, your favourite place, as he ran his hands up and down your sides.

“As funny as it is seeing the team joke about your neck, I didn’t mean for it to be that bruised” he said running his fingers over the large hickey he had created only the night before.

“I’m not complaining, the others are just joking anyway, though you leaving me out to dry isn’t so much fun”

He snickered into your hair, completely unapologetic 

“Would you want me to intervene?”

“I’d want you to stop egging them on!”

Aaron grinned at the thought of the teasing throughout the day which he had unashamedly taken apart in. 

“Even when they asked about our sex life?”

You groaned remembering Emily cornering you to ask about the mystery man who was currently in your bed. You didn’t give her any answers until JJ showed up and the two started pressuring you with more questions. 

When Aaron had entered the room you were never more grateful, thinking the two would stop interrogating you but when JJ had asked about where he ranked in regards to how good he was in bed, the man couldn’t help but involve himself in this interrogation.

“He’s the best you’ve ever had?” He questioned eyebrows raising “he must be smug about that? I know I would be”

Aaron had supplied the two women with even more questions after that, leaving the room shortly after with a fiery glare from you.

“You just threw me to the lions” you rolled you eyes at the memory 

“But how could I not after knowing I’m the best you’ve ever had?” He grinned 

Your cheeks flushed again wishing you’d never said anything with him being in hearing distance. 

“Smug bastard” you muttered burying yourself into his chest further 

“Aw, come on Sweetheart” he lifted your chin with two fingers to meet your eyes “don’t you want some of the best sex you’ve ever had?”

Your remaining underwear hit the floor not to long after that.

“I swear I didn’t get any sleep last night” Derek complained to Reid at breakfast the next morning as you joined the two along with Aaron and JJ.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked eyebrows furrowing together 

“I mean there was a couple on our floor last night who were going at it like animals” the man rolled his eyes “Weren’t quiet about it either. Didn’t you hear them Y/N, your room was only a few down from mine”

You just held back the snicker that threatened to escape your lips as you nodded in agreement.

“Yeah I heard them, it was so loud, almost like they were in the same room as me” you shrugged

“You guys just got unlucky with your rooms this time then. On our last case, there was a couple a few doors down from me with the same thing. What is it with hotels and people acting like rabbits?” JJ questioned

That time you were both definitely in Aaron’s room which was near JJ’s.

“Anyway, hopefully you’ll be able to go wild with your man when we land Y/N?” JJ teased “Add a few more hickeys to the collection?”

Aaron thought you’d blush and shoot her teasing questions down but was surprised when you just laughed and shot her a smirk.

“Oh definitely” you grinned “to be honest though I bought this little red number I can’t wait to try out, hopefully he’ll be the one with a couple hickeys next time”

The man next to you nearly choked on his coffee at the thought of you in a red number.

Trying to flush the idea from his mind, it did nothing as the red blush grew on his cheeks slightly not being able to think of anything else other than what he’d do to you when you got home. 

Seeing the slight blush on his cheeks, you grinned slightly, thoroughly happy you had the same reaction on him as you knew he did on you.

[cherrychonk]

The Transfer part 10

(This was more of a filler chapter so bare with me okay? I had a block as big as my forehead and needed something to move forward with the story. Don't get me wrong, some y/nxLin shit in here too ;) )

You're sitting close to Zhu Li, the cameras are taking pictures as you get ready for the interview. The woman next to you, the president, looks to be for the people. She has a soft smile that fills you up with confidence, yet her firmness reminds you of Lin. The Chief, now standing a few feet behind you, arms behind her back watching the crowd. You meet her eyes briefly, looking for comfort when her iron expression softens and she gives you a nod.

You go back to looking at president Moon who is now getting ready to start the interview. She stretches her hand and you shake it gracefully.

“It's an honor to finally meet you officer Y/N, I've heard great things about you.” The woman spoke.

“The honor is all mine.” You respond with a smile.

“I've heard everything about your selfless act of risking your life to save a young girl from a burning building, to the simple deed of showing kindness to those around you.”

You smiled gently.

“When I heard what you've done, I knew I had to see you in person. Such altruistics actions of bravery and compassion should be recognized. Don't you agree?”

You sat straight in your chair. The cameras were pointing at you and you felt the temperature rise. “I was honoring my job and the lives at risk. I'm here to protect and serve the citizens of The Republic of Nations.”

Zhu Li seemed content with the response. “Yet you went above and beyond. I know what police work is about, and not a single manual I've ever read stated that you should go into a burning and nearly collapsing building to save a life.”

You nodded. “It's in my moral code to do anything and everything possible to preserve life, no matter the person. All life is precious and should be treated with respect and dignity.”

“I agree completely. Life is a wonderful thing, and I'm sure that girl and her family are more than happy that they get to spend many more years enjoying it.”

Zhu Li stared at your uniform for a few seconds before looking up at your eyes. “Would you mind rolling up your sleeves?” She asked politely.

You nodded and slowly rolled them to your shoulders. It was nerve racking. You didn't know what she was about to do, she could ostracize you in front of hundreds of people or worse. Yet you stayed calm and trusted her to be respectful, you also trusted Lin to have your back.

“One of the main things in the paper besides your bravery, was your skin. I've never seen a woman as heavily tattooed as you. It was quite the surprise to see an officer covered in ink.

“There's so many tattoos. Symbols, flowers, animals, words. So many things in your skin. Seeing it in the newspaper doesn't do it justice. It makes you pop out. Is that why you got them? If not, why would you do such a thing?”

You could see Lin move to your line of view from your peripheral. Knowing she was close by made you relax a little. You started telling the woman your views on tattoos, what they meant to you and to so many people. Why you had so many (Just for aesthetic reasons) and the stories behind a few. She asked more questions that you answer truthfully. The more time went on the more comfortable you felt talking to the President. To you and everyone’s surprise she raised her blouse and turned around to reveal a small flower tattoo on the back of her shoulder. Your jaw dropped and she started talking about how no one should be judged over things like that because it didn't mean anything about someone's character. You were still stunned as she turned to the camera crew and stated how she would fight to bring equality in the workplace and in the city. How she would stand against stigmas that hurt people and how she would be by the side of those who were unjustly judged for it. She walked towards you as you stood and shook her hand.

“I will fight for you and the people, you have my support.” The President said proudly.

You smiled brightly. “Thank you.”

______

You and Lin were walking out of the building towards the parking lot. You had to take a few pictures with the paparazzi and answer a few questions but soon they were more focused on Zhu Li to pay attention to you. Once they left you alone you and Lin continued walking.

“Did you see that?! She has a tattoo!” You exclaimed in shock.

“I saw it, pretty unbelievable. Wouldn't have guessed it myself.” Lin responded walking alongside you.

“It makes you think how many other people have tattoos that we don't know of! I bet there's more than a handful of officers with tattoos! And doctors! And government officials!” You tell her animatedly.

She nodded. “The law is going to change now, they will see how good people don't look traditionally good but still are great people.”

“This is so exciting! How things are changing.” You said climbing into the patrol.

Lin nodded. “They usually change for the better. Asami and Korra really helped this nation become more accepting of people’s sexuality. So many couples can marry and have rights that they didn't have before. I remember when Kya and Amara had to go to the south to get married and the city only recognized it a few years ago.”

“Wow… Things do change for the better.” You said in awe.

“And now you're part of that big change. You should feel proud.” Lin said calmly.

“You know, If you hadn't allowed me to stay, I would've never saved that girl. That later made me show my tattoos, that now is making all these things happening. A series of fortunate events all thanks to you.” You smiled at her.

The chief just shrugged. “When did Amara say you could be back?”

“According to her, as soon as I can run a marathon without passing out.” You huffed.

“Well, if you keep going to physical therapy and do the things doctor Amara asks you to do, you'll be back to the old you in no time.” Lin says looking over at you momentarily.

“I hope so…”

“Y/N, if you need anything. You will call me directly and I’ll make sure you get any help you need. Your recovery is very important and your health is top priority right now. I understand that you might want to be in the station by the next few hours but healing takes time. Make sure to take as long as you need and don't rush it.”

You felt your heartbeat louder than usual at the Chief’s words of advice. How she prioritized your needs and well-being. You felt your face heat up and nodded eagerly.

“T-Thanks, I'll keep it in mind, Chief.”

________

It was an agonizing slow month, physical therapy was long yet everyday you got a little better. Better at walking up or down stairs without falling, better at walking and finally better at running. Sparring was still a huge no by all the doctors but that didn't mean you couldn't bend your element against Korra whenever you visited her and Asami. The heiress would take you to the race track and show you a good time with the cars. She even taught you to drive some and slowly you were racing alongside the CEO, not as fast but still having fun.

When you first met Naga you almost had a heart attack, she appeared out of nowhere scaring the heck out of you. She immediately took a liking to you and she even let you ride her around.

Other days you would visit temple island and carefully play with the kids, running around and playing hide and seek. You bonded with all of them and would stay for dinner most days. Team avatar would take you with them for little adventures around the city and you got to meet a few new people and the best noodle place was Narook Seaweed Noodlery. Even though there was still much to explore, your day was too energy draining to continue until sundown.

You finally managed to take Jia for some drinks and started bonding with her more. You noticed her attitude towards you changed, she was less flirtatious and more relaxed around you. She would check up on you every day, calling the apartment phone and making sure you had eaten. She reminded you of an officer back in Ba Sing Se that would always be next to you checking everything for you. You used to call him little brother, even though he was older, just because he was so childishly protective of you.

On the other hand, you barely saw the Chief. The only moments were in the temple at dinner time where Kya and her wife would come over and she would appear sometimes. You would tell her your progress and talk for a while before both of you parted ways at the docks. Sometimes you stayed over and sometimes Kya drove you home, but you always ended your day with a huge smile on your face and absolutely exhausted.

____________

Today you were finally going back to work after being cleared by Doctor Amara and Master Kya. You were incredibly happy and grateful for their care, helping you fully recover from your injury. You were now on your way to the station, in your hands you carried three hot coffees on your cup tray and a bag of pastries. Pushing the doors open with your back, Jia quickly walked over to you with a smile.

“Y/N! You're back!” She beamed.

“I wanted to surprise you.” You laughed while handing her coffee and snacks.

“Well this is more than a pleasant surprise.” She smiled.

“Did I get here before the Chief?” You asked, walking over the elevator.

“Nope! She beat you this time, she's in her office. I'm sure she will be glad to see you here again.” Jia said, pressing the elevator button.

“We'll see, talk to you later!” You smiled at her.

The door closed and you were counting each floor until the loud ding signaled you were finally at your floor. You were always a sucker for being early and were pleased to find the bullpen mostly empty except for a couple of officers including Mako. The man looked surprised to see you before a wide smile spread across his face.

“Y/N! You're back. Welcome.” Mako said proudly.

“You thought you were getting rid of me that easily?” You fake being insulted before chuckling. “I'm a lot harder to kill than you think.”

You both walked towards the Chief’s office while he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” The Chief said in her usual strong voice.

“Can't wait to work with you again. Of course, as soon as the Chief un-grounds you.” He joked.

You stuck your tongue out and he laughed walking away.

“Good Luck!” He yelled over his shoulder.

You shook your head, slowly pushing the door open and carefully walking inside. The Chief looked up at you from her glasses and quickly her face softened.

“Welcome back, officer Y/N.”

You smiled at her as you looked around her newly redesigned office. The first thing you noticed was the small desk beside the Chief’s own and the similar chair on it. Then you saw Lin walking over to you carefully grabbing the bag and coffee tray.

“Good morning Chief. You really meant it when you said you would work side by side with me.” You smile.

“It seems the only way to keep you out of trouble is constant supervision.” Lin responded, setting the coffee down.

You sat at your new desk and tapped it around getting the feel of it.

“All your files were moved here so everything you left should be there. If something’s missing I'll ask Saikan where he put it.”

You opened a few drawers and pulled out the journal and your notepad. You could see the rest of the files and pull some out. “It seems everything’s here.”

Lin nodded and started doing her mountain of paperwork. You reached out and took a sip of your coffee as you started to read where you left off.

You were back.

[poptod]

A Taste of What You Paid For (Rogerina x Reader)

Description: Quiet doesn’t mean submissive and smart doesn’t mean inept outside school.

Notes: here’s one of the fics i never published on liz taylor cause it was a one shot! there’s a bit of a frisky scene at the end but its fine everything is fine. gender neutral WC: 1.7k

+

"I told you, we don't need a damn petsitter!"

"Watch your mouth, young lady," her mother chided harshly, her words curt on a silver tongue.

You watched on with an inner sense of looming despair, one that always popped up in your head whenever people fought in front of you. Especially when it came to family.

The Taylor family was popular simply on the reputation of their youngest daughter, Elizabeth. She was one of those girls who was insanely pretty and knew it perfectly well, using it to her advantage in every situation she could. You couldn't blame her––if you were pretty like that, you'd probably use it that way too.

That being said, your very faint school-connection to Liz in no way aided you in understanding her mother, who had employed you for the weekend. Apparently she and her husband had some sort of trip to make into London, and coming back home to sleep was more expensive than simply paying someone to take care of their cat and bird. For some reason they didn't trust Liz with that job, and you didn't care to ask why, considering the two of them were still arguing with one another.

You pursed your lips as you continued to watch with wide eyes. How long was this going to continue?

"And you had to get them?!" Liz yelled, gesturing rather violently in your direction. You flinched back instinctively.

"What's wrong with (Y/N)? Are they some sort of kleptomaniac or something? Your teachers certainly seem to like them, much more than they like you at least," her mother bit back.

Ouch. That was low. You just had good grades. It had nothing to do with behavior.

"Um, Mrs. Taylor? I have to get home soon," you interrupted quietly, ever hesitant to speak up. Both women turned to you as though in sudden realization you were still standing there.

"Of course, dear. I'm sorry.. um, you can come by Friday afternoon, and after that just once or twice a day," she said, pausing before she rooted through her purse, pulling out her wallet. From that she handed you a couple pounds, to which you thanked her and bowed your head slightly.

"Thank you. I'll, um, see you later then," you said, waving a shy good-bye to both of them before bolting out the door.

What a fucking disaster, you thought to yourself bitterly, your face screwed into a frown. Instantly the chill of fall hit you, the disappearance of the sun marking a time where your hands were best kept huddled in your pockets. The backpack on your shoulders was the only real sense of insulation you had.

Your home was a decent walk away, enough that you probably should've found a bus or cab, but the only money in your pocket was preemptive payment for petsitting you hadn't yet done. Besides, most of the busses were stocked full with workers heading home.

By the time you reached home your boot-clad feet were aching, the hard soles in your heels throbbing. Fortunately enough it was a feeling you were used to, and sleep was not hard to find when you collapsed in bed after the long day.

Pepper, the Taylor's white cat, was a friendly fellow who enjoyed a good drink. From your glass. And only your glass. No matter how you filled up his water bowl or set out glasses for him to drink from, he always returned to the one you had taken a sip out of. Eventually you kept your glass in hand, keeping it there even as you filled his bowl with food, a single kitchen lamp lighting your work.

Traditionally, your Friday nights were spent getting lost in the woods, but every now and then you needed to make some extra cash. That was precisely the reason you took up this little job here––not because you wanted to see Liz.

Not because she was really nice to look at and had a rose perfume.

No.

The creaking and slamming of a door startled you from pouring wet food into the tin bowl, making a drop of the juice land on the counter. You winced internally at the fishy smell that invaded your senses.

"The fuck – oh. You," she said from behind you. You turned to her, noting with interest the way she leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen.

"Evening," you said with a small wave.

"How's – how's the cat," she asked, a slight slur taking over her tongue as she stumbled towards you. The closer she got the more you could smell her––the perfume, the shampoo, the alcohol reeking off her mouth and clothes.

"He'll be coming along soon," you said, knowing that once he smelled the food he'd come running.

"Mm. How long have you been here?"

"In your house?"

"Mhm,” she nodded.

"Got here just a bit ago. Had to refill your cat fountain," you said. They had bought a special, indoor fountain for their cat, since he had trouble drinking. Obviously.

"My mother," Liz grumbled, setting her elbows on the counter as her shoulders went up to her ears. Blonde locks curled around her cheeks, accentuating the soft blush beneath her skin. "She thinks I can't take care of anything beside myself. That is not true."

You can't take care of yourself, either, was the first thing to come to mind, but instead you said, "why does she think that?"

"I drink too much for her liking," Liz said, sighing as she dropped her head to rest on the cool, marble countertop.

"That's alright," you said, ever so slightly distracted by finding the recycling, "I smoke too much for my mother's liking."

Liz giggled, the high melody filling the mostly-silent room. You couldn't help but grin yourself, though you turned away so she couldn't see, embarrassed of your own delight.

The moment you set the food bowl back in its' spot, Pepper came tumbling down the stairs, his puffy tail a straight line behind him.

"How long are you going to stay here?" Liz asked, almost whined, as she drunkenly spun herself around to lean her back against the counter, hooded eyes following you intently.

"A little bit longer. I have to clean your birdcage," you said as you left Pepper to find the bird. You glanced around the corner, into the living and dining rooms. "And, um... where is that? Exactly?"

"Up in my room," she said, "since Pepper won't leave her alone."

"Oh," you said softly as images ran rampant through your head.

You weren't particularly infatuated with Liz, but seeing her room would certainly be interesting, considering the amount of things you'd heard about her. Either way it would be you and her alone in a much smaller room.

For ease you pulled the trash can up the stairs with you, lugging it into her room to dispose of the birdcage floor. She led the way for you, though offered no help, not that you expected her to. While you fiddled with the cage lock, she sat on her bed with feet on the floor, one leg atop the other as she watched you in interest.

Her eyes on your neck proved to be a strong source of stress for you. How delightful––blushing from just a gaze. Liz, in her drunken stupor, didn't seem to realize just how giddy that made you.

A few minutes later you were setting out new hay and newspaper for the floor of the cage, a slight smile occurring to you whenever the bird chirped. You had yet to know the name, but she seemed nice. Her black feathers were a stark difference to Pepper's white coat.

"(Y/N)?" You heard from behind you, her voice soft and high, lulling you away from the task at hand.

"Yes?"

"Could you come here?"

You paused, taking a moment to process her request. After a moment you brushed your hands off, stepping away from the cage to approach her. As before, she was sitting on her bed with her feet in front of her, one leg resting atop the other. Long legs in tall, black boots led up to her hips and waist, where small, flared shorts sat with a belt tight around the jean loops. With her puffy button down leading to her small waist, she was an image so hot it casted blushing heat upon your face.

You tried not to let it show.

She beckoned you closer still, and after another moment's thought you obeyed. As you did so she shifted, placing her legs on either side of your standing ones, with her eyes set dead upon yours.

"Do you remember me? From our classes," she asked softly, craning her neck to look up at you.

"Certainly. Literature and anatomy."

"Mmm," she hummed with a smile, nodding. "I love watching you give presentations in English."

"Really?" You chuckled. "Why?"

"You've got a lot of passion," she said, and the tips of her fingers brushed against yours. You froze up at the sensation, but she only continued with, "I like that."

"I just like overanalyzing stories."

"And you're good at it!"

"Well, thank you, but... I'm sure that's not the reason why you asked for my attention," you said, smiling slyly. Her bravado fell as she bit her bottom lip.

"Maybe not," she murmured, and though her drunken cheeks reddened further, she held her eye contact with you.

Before either of you could speak, you leant quickly down and pressed your lips against hers. She inhaled sharply, but did not move, which you took as a sign to gently move, kneeling before her for ease. Despite being wedged between her legs with her thighs squeezing your middle, going further than this kiss didn't occur to you. Instead you remained enraptured with the feel of her moving against you, her hand cradling your jaw as she pulled you nearer, her intoxicating heat circling your head.

She moved to keep you even closer, attempting to use her legs to pull you on top of her. You hummed––though didn't break your kiss––as you tried to force yourself to move away. She was drunk, but you knew if you said anything about it she’d still try to sleep with you anyway.

"No," you said when at last you could manage to part. The abandoned look in her face had your stomach twisting. You kept an even tone as you continued. "I've got to get home. I finished my job, didn't I?"

"Oh, you tease," she hissed as she reclaimed her pride, dragging you in by your tie to kiss you again. You allowed it for a few seconds more, playfully tugging at her clothes before you stood, straightening yourself out.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" You said, as always remembering your upcoming tasks.

"That's what we're paying you for."

"Got it," you said with a wink, slinging yourself out by the doorframe.

[heyitssmiller]

Chop It Like It’s Hot

Chapter 3: Sun’s Out Buns Out

Chop It Like It’s Hot Masterlist

Let the pining begin.

@lumosinlove

“Oh my god, there’s ducks!” Finn said excitedly, pointing to the ducks swimming in the pond nearby. Their next challenge was taking place in a small park on the outskirts of the city, which made Logan a little nervous. He was just getting used to the setup of the kitchens, and now he had to deal with this. Finn let out an aww as a group of ducklings followed their mom. “Look at ‘em, they’re so cute.”

Logan looked warily at the setup of grills a few feet away. “I don’t think we’re here to look at ducks.”

“Good morning, recruits!” Dorcas called, waving them over. Leo stood beside her, hair turned golden in the sunlight. Logan blamed the reason he was suddenly too hot on the weather.

Ah, yes. That new development Logan refused to think about too hard.

He was happy with Finn. They’d been happy together for years now.

So why was he crushing on Leo like he did with Finn back in college?

Logan wasn’t blind – he knew the signs well enough after pining for Finn for five years. He just didn’t know what to do with these feelings. And they’d learned from all the miscommunication and wasted time in college – he and Finn told each other everything now.

He just wasn’t sure he could tell Finn this.

How would that conversation go? Hey I know we’ve been happily together for three years now but I also kind of want to kiss that tall blond guy who’s been teaching us how to cook. 

Yeah. That would go over well.

“Today we’re going to be testing your creativity by having you make your own burgers! We’ll both give you examples, but you’ll need to come up with your own original ideas for this challenge.” Leo stated, dumping ground beef into a bowl. “I’m going to make a jaeger schnitzel burger. So for the meat I’m using a mixture of different meats. Schnitzel is traditionally pork or veal, but you need the right ratio of lean meat to fatty meat to make a good burger, so I’m adding some additional fatty beef.” He formed patties out of the meat and placed them on the grill. “What really sets jaeger schnitzel from regular schnitzel is the mushroom gravy on top.”

He smiled, which Logan was quickly realizing was completely unfair. “Creating a gravy is a little hard on a grill, but I’ll do my best. Basically we’re going to melt butter in a pan and fry these onions until they begin to brown. Then add the garlic and cook it for another minute. Add the mushrooms and cook until they’re golden and some of the liquid from the mushrooms has evaporated.”

Leo switched back to his burgers and flipped them before returning to his sauce. “To thicken this into a gravy. We’re going to add flour and stir. Then it’s just beef broth, vinegar, thyme, sugar, salt, and pepper.  Now the burgers are done, so we’re going to take all of this off the grill and plate it, making sure there’s plenty of gravy on this burger.” 

“And I’m going to make a burrito burger.” Dorcas took over. “First we’re going to take our meat and add some seasoning to it: chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, crushed red pepper flakes, dried oregano, paprika, ground cumin, sea salt, and black pepper. Make sure to get the seasoning mixed in there thoroughly. Then we just throw these patties on the grill and let them cook. What really sets this burger apart are the toppings.”

She reached into a bag on her table and pulled out refried beans, salsa, pepper jack cheese, and lettuce. “I made the refried beans and salsa from scratch last night since we definitely don’t have time for that today. So once these burgers are cooked, we just add the toppings and we’re done. Easy enough, right?”

“This challenge is a blind taste test so that we can’t pick favorites.” Leo added. “Which means you guys are going to be on your own for this challenge – we can’t help you in this round.”

Everyone groaned.

“Just don’t burn yourselves and you’ll be fine. You have forty-five minutes and your time starts now!”

***

Mid-Episode Interview:

*Logan takes his hat off to run a hand through his hair with a sigh*

Logan: I… I might be going home today. *laughs* You know, I hate cooking. The only reason I went on this show was because of Finn. He seemed so excited about it, you know? So for the past seven weeks, I figured if I got eliminated I’d just stay in the city and spend time with him when they weren’t shooting the show. I haven’t really cared if I got eliminated or not. Now, though?

*His gaze loses focus for a few seconds, then he looks back at the camera*

Logan: I don’t think I’m ready to leave just yet.

***

Finn quickly glanced over at Logan as he dropped lamb chops into a hot pan. The brunet had come in second to last place in the earlier competition today and clearly wasn’t happy about it. There wasn’t much he could do right now, but he’d find something to cheer him up with after they were done filming for the day. Alex was in the city visiting their family – maybe the two of them could stop by the house and say hi, if it wasn’t too late.

“Non-stick pan, Lo!” He hissed as Logan grabbed a regular pan to put his potato cake in.

“What?”

“Use a non-stick pan. That way it won’t stick when you flip the cake over.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

“How’s it going over here?”

Finn glanced up to see Leo at their shared station. “Good! I think. The lamb chops were a little hard to cut and my tapenade is kind of a mess, but I’m hoping it tastes ok.”

“And the potato cake?”

“The fact that I’m going to be flipping a potato cake is hilarious because I am not graceful at all.”

Leo laughed. “It’s not too bad, you’ll see. Logan, how about you?”

“Well, I’ve learned that I hate the taste of fennel.” Logan groused, sprinkling red pepper flakes on top of his fennel salad. “So I’m hoping to mask that flavor as much as I can.”

“It’s definitely not for everyone. Your chopping skills have really improved over the past couple of weeks, though – look at those potatoes!”

Logan looked up and smiled.

A smile Finn definitely recognized from college.

He glanced back and forth between the two, speculating. Maybe it wasn’t just Finn dealing with new feelings he wasn’t sure how to process yet.

After time ran out Finn glanced down at his two identical dishes – one for him, one for Leo – with a sigh of relief. It was still a little messy, but overall he felt pretty good about it. No matter what he was miles ahead of where he started, so he was happy with himself. He was still a little worried to be tasting his own dish, though. At the end of the day he was still a bad cook, after all.

When it was finally his turn to be judged, he grabbed both plates and placed them on the table before taking a seat opposite Leo.

“This feels like a really weird first date.” Finn teased, watching the faintest hint of a blush spread across Leo’s cheeks.

Oh my god, he’s adorable.

“I can definitely see some inconsistency in the cooking of your lamb chops.” He hurried to say, flipping one of the pieces of meat over for Finn to look at. “See, this one’s nice and brown while this one is undercooked. This boils down to variation of size in your meat. When you’ve got all kinds of different sizes, it’s hard to consistently cook them.” He cut up a piece of lamb and put it in his mouth. Finn probably stared at said mouth a bit too long before following suit.

“Well? What do you think?”

Finn shrugged, swallowing his bite. “I like it.”

Leo smiled. “You know what? Me too.”

 ***

Logan was up next. He sat down hesitantly across from Leo, looking down at his plate and hoping it was enough to save him from elimination.

“Your presentation is really good, Logan. The potatoes are nice and golden, the lamb looks perfect.” Leo said, and something about his words and calm demeanor soothed Logan instantly. He smiled. “Thanks, chef.”

“Ready to try this?”

“Let’s do it.” Logan stabbed his food with his fork, took a bite –

And instantly coughed.

It was so spicy. The kind of spicy that makes your throat close up and tears come to your eyes.

“Oh my god.” He gasped, making a mad dive towards his glass of water and downing it as fast as he could. “Jesus Christ, that’s so hot.”

Leo hummed, setting his fork down. He seemed completely unfazed. “Too much red pepper. You said earlier you were trying to mask fennel flavor, but I think you did too good a job at that.” He watched Logan with a small smile and pushed his own full glass of water towards him. “You ok?”

Logan gaped at him, but gladly accepted the water. “How are you not dying right now?”

“I literally have a show about cajun cooking; I’m used to spice. You should try ghost peppers sometime.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it.” Leo looked back down at his plate. “Overall, your dish was pretty good. Could’ve used a little less red pepper, but the rest of it was spot on.”

Logan felt his shoulders relax a little. “Thanks, chef.”

***

Logan was in the bottom two.

Fuck.

Finn’s heart had continued to drop as name after name of the safe contestants got announced, including his own, and Logan’s didn’t. He knew Logan didn’t really care if he got eliminated or not, but this had been so much fun to do with him. Finn didn’t want to see him go yet.

“And the recruit who will be leaving us today is…”

Finn honestly couldn’t name the person who got eliminated – all he knew was that Logan was staying. He let his tense shoulders relax and stepped forward to give him a hug. “That was close, Lo.”

“Yeah,” Logan’s voice was muffled in Finn’s shirt. “Guess I’ll have to try harder next week.”

Finn leaned back with a big smile on his face. “You wanna stay?”

“I mean, I’m a really bad cook,” Logan shrugged. “But I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“Logan?” Both boys turned at the voice. Leo stood off to the side, looking slightly awkward.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to talk to you about today’s challenges and ways to improve. I’ve got a few tips I can share, if you want.” He glanced at Finn. “Can I steal him for a second?”

“Go right ahead.”

Leo flashed him a smile before motioning for Logan to follow him.

Finn couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could read Logan’s body language like a book. When he fiddled with his hat, Finn knew he was nervous. When he met Leo’s eyes and didn’t look away as he spoke, he was serious about whatever he was saying. When his gaze flicked down to Leo’s lips, he wanted to kiss him. When he subconsciously leaned forwards and tilted his head up slightly, he was going to kiss him.

The strangest thing was… Finn wasn’t jealous. He should be, shouldn’t he?

But Logan didn’t kiss Leo.

He seemed to catch himself at the last second and he drew back sharply, refusing to look at Leo again. He muttered something and turned to walk away, catching Finn’s gaze as he did so. His eyes widened guiltily, steps slowing as he crossed the room to where Finn was waiting.

Finn gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand reassuringly.

“I think we need to talk.”

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Traditions

Well, even mafia bosses have their little traditions...I guess? No? Well Fatgum does.

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

 Taishiro raised his gaze to you as you walked into his office, the lock clicking in place softly moments later; stirring curiosity within him. He was positive he had left a note for you telling you to stay in bed and enjoy the day, just because he had things to take care of, doesn’t mean you had to come in.

 “Something wrong?” He decided to skip the pleasantries, rising to his feet while you approached his desk, lips forming a thin, unimpressed line; maybe he hadn’t used the right words. Too late now.

 “Are you insinuating that I can’t visit you in my spare time? Something has to be wrong?” Your questions, or rather, the words that formed them held a certain bite to them that Taishiro hadn’t heard in months; the way you spoke had his mind running through all the things he could have possibly done to upset you the past few hours, hell, days even.

 Unfortunately, he was drawing a complete and utter blank. As far as he could tell, he hadn’t done anything wrong.

 “Doesn’t have to be, you just seem a little…” He trailed off, regretting his words almost immediately after they left his mouth; if it was at all possible, it seemed like your mood worsened.

 “What? I just seem a little what, Taishrio?” He flinched as you spat out his name, the fire in your gaze making it obvious that there was something he was missing, something he had or hadn’t done that made you so mad; he just wished he knew what it was.

 “Baby, what’s wrong? Did I do something? Tell me so I can fix it” He used a soft voice as he spoke, approaching you until his large hands could grasp at your waist, pulling you close to his chest; he might have a short temper when involving his gang but with you, he damn near had all the patience in the world. So long as it was something private and between the two of you, anything else and he had to deal with it like he would anything else.

 “Don’t speak to me like that!” You slapped at his chest firmly, glaring up into his golden gaze while your lips trembled, already feeling the familiar tug at your heart; he was far too experienced with calming you down. Sometimes you hated that, other times, less so.

 “Well if I spoke to ya like you’re speaking to me, you’d send me flying” His sarcastic remark managed to pull a snort of amusement past your lips, the mental image of you physically sending him flying more than enough to send you into a fit of giggles. You were tiny compared to him and yet you knew he was right, had he lost his temper with you, you wouldn’t stand for it.

 “Okay, okay…maybe you’re right. So, I’ll apologise for losing my temper with you” You paused, reaching up to tangle your fingers into his messy blonde locks, tugging until his head was at your level; forehead resting against your own.

 “But I’m still mad. You left me alone in bed on Valentine’s day. For. Work. Work that you promised could wait for a day” Though your words no longer held the same bite that they did mere moments earlier, Taishiro could hear your disappointment in him; it made his chest tighten.

 “Valentine’s day, is our day Taishiro. The day we finally stopped screwing around with our flirting and our games…you promised me, no matter what, you would make time for me, for us and yet I wake up in an empty bed with a note on a cold pillow saying to enjoy the day alone” You frowned as you spoke, fingers going slack in his hair while tears began to fill your eyes, making Taishiro curse and raise his hands to your cheeks; brushing away your tears before they could stain your skin.

 “I’m sorry, I thought you’d be able to relax” He went quiet for a moment before lifting you into his arms and walking back to his desk, sweeping everything off it so that he could lay you down on your back, hanging off the edge just enough for Taishiro to be able to make things up to you.

 “H-Hey! You better not think a good fuck is gonna make up for this!” Taishiro reached for his phone, dialling his right-hand man’s number while his free hand pushed your skirt up, fingers hooking into your panties and tugging them off of you before you could protest more than you already had.

   “Amajiki, I want ya to do me a favour. Get the boys to help and find a real nice place for me to have some time alone with (Name), I don’t care where. Just make sure she’ll like it…and store it with food. Lots of it! I wanna be able to spoil her for a couple days, have someone bring the car around once it’s ready, got it?”

   He didn’t bother waiting for a reply before hanging up on him, throwing the phone over his shoulder while you stared up at him with wide eyes, silent in both surprise and confusion; when you came here to tell him off, this wasn’t what you had been expecting in response.

 “…You know…traditionally, people use flowers to apologise for stuff like this” Your voice was soft while he knelt beside the desk, lifting your bare legs over his shoulders; the wicked grin that you had fallen in love with decorating his lips.

 “I ain’t very traditional, baby. You know that” He leaned closer, dragging his hot tongue over your clit slowly and making you gasp out quietly, a perfect start to his plans; your beautiful voice filling his office.

 “But, if you really want, I can cancel that, stop this and just go buy some cheap-ass roses for you” He laughed at the way you crossed your ankles behind his head, assuring that he couldn’t move away from you; vocalising your opinion on the suggestion without a single word.

   “Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want that”

   You let out a moan when he started to work your clit with his tongue, his hands holding onto your thighs to keep you steady while he worked his magic; it wasn’t often you would let him do this sort of thing. You didn’t even have a proper reason why, he was good at it, making you come undone with little more than his tongue and maybe a finger or two.

 But you preferred to have him fuck you, or even making him a groaning mess beneath you giving some really good head; receiving it though? Not something that was on your mind a lot.

 You might have to reconsider after this, ah but then again, that’s what you usually thought whenever he decided to eat you out.

 Moans began to spill from your lips more frequently when he thrust his tongue inside of you, hot muscle wriggling about while one of his hands moved, allowing his thumb to tease your clit mercilessly.

 There was a word that felt foreign to you, especially in this circumstance. Mercy. The idea of Taishiro knowing what the word meant was laughable and safe to say, you adored that part of him.

 Taishiro was a strong leader, a fantastic lover and so many more things, you couldn’t be bothered to even begin to think of them at that very moment, your mind already hazy from his ministrations.

   “Sweet of you to say, baby”

   His muffled words snapped you out of your daydream, a surprised moan spilling free as you lifted your top half so that you could look down at Taishiro, cheeks growing hot when you noticed he was already watching you heatedly, his tongue still moving inside of you and making you moan out his name.

 “What? Didn’t realise you were talking?” He grinned against you as he moved his tongue rougher, making your back arch while you laid back down, using your arms to cover your embarrassed expression; you had no idea you had been talking.

 “Pity, guess that means you don’t remember saying how much you love when I fuck you with my tongue” His voice sent shivers down your spine as you moved your hands to grip at the edge of the table, your moans growing louder as the minutes passed you by; you knew he was teasing you at this point. The man loved to embarrass you when you did things like that, but at the same time, you didn’t much care; so long as his tongue kept moving, you could put up with his words.

 Taishiro grinned widely as your body arched up off of the table as much as physically possible, his name falling from your lips in one of the most delicious moans you had let out yet; orgasm rocking through your body, leaving you trembling from the intensity of it.

   “Mm, thanks for the meal baby…I’ll make sure to return the favour later tonight when it’s just us, no one else around to interrupt.”

[darling-i-read-it]

Guinea Pig

Will Graham x reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: talks about mental illness and therapy 

Author’s Note: I just...i love will graham. I’m waiting until I’m done with my period to decide if my love is valid but I really really love him so I hope that you like this!

Requested: by @sweet-hot-latte​, Hello! Reader and Will are engaged. Bonus points if she is a psychiatrist. So she came to talk with Hannibal after realising that he isn't really helping Will and asked him to treat him or else she will find a way to get him off Will's case. And after that some cute moment of her returning home to her man and boys. I hope that makes any sense!

Summary: the request!

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

(not my gif)

You sat on the couch dogs at your feet and beside you. You were looking over a couple of papers that you had been referred to look at by Jack Crawford after he found out that Will was engaged to another psychiatrist he could get an opinion on. You heard the door open slowly and close slowly.

You knew what that meant. It meant that whatever he had talked to Hannibal about hadn’t made him any better than he was when he left home. You waited until he came into view to say anything but he looked like a wreck. Your wreck, as you would say.

He didn’t say anything. He just walked over to you, kicking his shoes off in the process. He slumped beside you, the dog beside you moving to allow him to lay in your lap. He buried his head in your stomach. You played with his hair, tugging on the long strands.

“Bad session?” you whispered. He moaned and you pursed your lips. “That bad?” 

You grabbed his hand and he turned on his side so that he was looking away from you and at the dogs. He looked tired but you knew he was unlikely to fall asleep there. It took a lot of things to be right for him to fall asleep.

“Wanna talk about it?” 

You tried your best to not go into your work mind with him. You just wanted to make sure he was okay and being taken care of. That was all you had ever wanted.

“Not particularly.” You nodded. “He had me draw a clock.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Did he say why?” 

“To humor him.” 

You felt yourself tense up. You tried to relax for his sake but you couldn’t. Hannibal had been treating Will for a while now, ever since he went back into the field. You had noticed the change in behavior. You had to, you were his partner.

Hannibal had not been treating him traditionally. You knew that much. Will wasn��t much of a talker, you understood him mostly by his demeanor. But you loved him and you were pretty sure you knew what was best for him in hindsight. 

And Hannibal had done something wrong.

The next day Will was off of work but you had to go into the office. After work you told Will you were going to get some dessert for after dinner that he said he wanted to make. You did stop by the store and get some ice cream but on the way home you stopped by Hannibal's office.

It was fancy. Much fancier than anywhere you had ever worked at.

“Do you have an appointment?” You turned around, shaking your head and smiling sweetly.

“I’m afraid I don’t. But you see my fiance,” you said. He raised an eyebrow and entered the room.

“If you’re here to ask for anything that might interfere with patient confidentiality-”

“I’m not. I’m here to ask about Will Graham.” He pursed his lips and looked you up and down.

“Finally a face to the famous name. It’s very nice to meet you Y/N.” You nodded.

“I wish I could say the same.” 

“Oh?” 

You clutched your bag.

“I am going to be blunt Mr. Lecter-”

“Hannibal, please.” You took a deep breath and nodded.

“Hannibal, I know that you are keeping something from Will that he should know. I’m a psychiatrist and I happen to know most problems when I see one. If you don’t start to treat my fiance as a human in need of help instead of a guinea pig because of his mind, I will find someone who can treat him properly.”  

Hannibal nodded, lips in a thin line. He understood. You had caught on to his thoughts and there was a rarity in that. Of course there were things you didn’t know but that was for another day. 

“Alright.” 

You nodded and grabbed your purse which you had put on his desk while speaking.

“I have to go. I have ice cream in the car.” He chuckled. “I do hope from here on out we’re on the same page Hannibal.” He nodded.

“Of course.” 

You left then, getting into your car and driving home. You were eager to return. It was getting to be late.

You pulled up and saw Will sitting on the porch. Immediately the dogs started to run after you, greeting you happily. You laughed and pet them each as you approached the porch. You held up the grocery bag.

“I brought goodies,” you called. Will laughed, standing up. You gave him a quick gentle kiss and you walked inside together, followed by many dogs. You put the bag on the table.

“What took you so long?” he questioned.

“I couldn’t find the right kind. I had to go to two different stores.” You turned around. “But I ended up finding it, no need to fret.” He shook his head, a smile on his face. You walked up to him and put your hand on his chin. “You’re so cute when you smile.”

“As opposed to when I’m not?” You kissed him again.

“Shut up Will.” 

“Come on, the ice cream will melt.”

[tailorvizsla]

A Proper Mandalorian Courtship - Chapter 1

Title: The Armorer and an Introduction Word Count: ~2350 Pairing: Paz x Reader Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Cursing, canon-typical violence, crack humor that’s also serious Summary: 

Mandalorian courtship is very simple: declare your interest in someone, spend time together if they reciprocate, and get married after a year or so. Getting married is even easier – simply swap the vows and announce it a few days later to the Tribe so you can all celebrate the happy news. Then spend the next few months fending off the nosy Elders (who all want to know when they can expect to hear more little feet on the ground). At the end of it all, Mandalorians court the same way the rest of the galaxy does.

Except for Paz Vizla. Despite his Traditionalist background, he goes about this courtship and marriage business in a very nontraditional way...a very, very, very nontraditional way. This can also be found at AO3. Chapters: 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

📚 My Master List 📚 Author’s Notes:

This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter story in a very long time. 

I’ve been working on this since February. It’s been finished for a few weeks now, but I’ve been procrastinating in posting because I have had such a hard time justifying why Paz behaves the way he does even though we only see him for like 3 seconds in the series. I’m not sure if anyone else does this, but I like having a reason to write a story, even if it’s just to get the fluff out. For this, I wanted to flesh out Paz’s character for future works, but I have had such a hard time figuring out the words for it that I just...didn’t post. It felt wrong to continue forward without being able to explain to myself why he does what he does. Something that @plexflexico said in one of their responses to a review I left resonated with me and finally inspired me to post this publicly.

“Paz might have had less than a minute of screen time, but that time was VERY enlightening because both scenes were at moments of great tension and high emotion. I felt that any man who could succinctly put his people’s plight into words, and was so angry over this betrayal by someone who should have known better that there was no way this was simply a brute. This is a man who thinks and feels, deeply.”

This. This is exactly what I couldn’t find the words for. This, to me, is Paz Vizla. I have seen stories/HCs that portray him as a brute in an attempt to show him as a strong, confident, and masculine character. I am not fond of that portrayal because it lacks depth. I don't see that from a man whose culture embraces competency and skill before gender or sex. For those of you who have not read Asterism, go do it now, I promise you will love every single word. @plexflexico perfectly captures every emotion and thought of each scene just perfectly. This is Grade Amazing Super Plus Rank writing and Plex deserves an award for their work. And also for the inspiration because her Paz is the man everyone who wants a man deserves to have in their life.

The Foundry is the most sacred place for any Tribe blessed enough to have one of its own. It is the physical manifestation of the Resol'nare: education and armor, self-defense, the tribe, the language, and the leader. Here, children and new recruits receive their first set of beskar'gam and swear their oaths to follow the path, making the Foundry the spiritual birthplace of every member of the Tribe.

At night, when the work is finished, and the flames are dimmed, the young and old gather within so they may learn from and educate one another. Most importantly, this is where most individuals begin their first lessons in Mando'a, under the guidance of the Elders. The foundry is where the armaments are made and dispensed for the protection of each person and the Tribe as a whole. When a hunter returns with their offerings, they return to the Foundry, and disperse it to those who depend upon them for sustenance and care. Finally, the Foundry serves as a place for the leadership to gather.

Armorer has had the distinct honor and privilege of being both armorer and leader to her people for many years, though she is now only the armorer for the tribe. Upon joining with tribe Marell, she relinquished her role as the Alor. However, the respect and authority she commands is not diminished in any capacity. Should Alor Dezha not be available to decide on a course of action, the Tribe will come to her, and her decision will be both supported and respected. Dezha respects her a great deal, and he will often seek her opinion if his path is unclear. Despite the differences in their interpretations of the Oath, they have come to live in harmony with one another. They strengthen what is weak in each other, and that is how it should be in a flourishing Tribe.

Tonight, she once more has the honor of being part of a marriage ceremony. Lifting her heavy hammer, Armorer brings it down onto the glowing ingot of metal, watching as it flattens and spreads under her blow. She continues to strike the metal with slow, methodical precision until it reaches the proper thickness. Then the Armorer takes it back to the flame, where she allows it to glow blazing white. It only takes a few moments, and she returns it to the anvil. The steady clang clang of her hammer is punctuated only by the occasional trip to the flames.

The union of two Mandalorians in marriage is – and always has been – a joyous occasion, for that union brings forth stability for the children and the Tribe. Traditionally, the parents take turns hunting, or if the Tribe has the numbers, both parents will hunt together, and leave their children in the care of the rest of the family. Having that one trusted person, the one who knows their every strength and weakness by their side, leads to success, both in the field and at home.

She pauses once more to check the ingot. When she sees it is properly folded, she divides it in half, and begins to form each blade precisely with her smaller hammer. Two Mandalorians, forged into one soul and body by marriage, whether they are together, or they are apart. Two blades, made from a single piece of steel, to symbolize that union. When they are formed to her satisfaction, she takes the blades to the oil vat and quenches them, a satisfying hiss escaping the bubbling liquid.

Then she returns to the forge, narrowing one of the flames to begin the differential tempering process. Here, the tang and the edges of the blades will be hardened to resist shattering, yet the spines will remain flexible, so that they may flex as needed. Once joined, the couple hardens themselves to outsiders; instead, they will turn their affection and respect inward, so they may grow together. Where one is brittle, the other is flexible, and together, they become stronger than they would be individually. She withdraws the first blade from the flame just as the pale amber color creeps to the edges of the blade and plunges it directly into the water bath to cool.

It takes hours to sharpen the ceremonial blades on the grinding belts, but she works steadily and carefully, honing the edges with precision. The hilts are left bare; they will be wrapped by the parties entering the marriage. When they speak their vows, they will exchange blades, so they may carry a piece of the other with them when they are physically parted. She nestles the blades into separate boxes lined with soft fabric. When she delivers the blades tonight, the newlyweds will handle the rest on their own. Armorer lowers the heat of the flame before she returns to her quarters. There she draws the curtain across her living space. Exhaling, she takes a seat at her low table with a pot of hot tea to await being summoned by the Elders to acknowledge the vows. Her shoulders are tense and tight. It is a good sign of hard work.

It has been many years since she has witnessed a proper Mandalorian courtship unfold and blossom into marriage. The Armorer has known from the start that Paz would be the one to fully embrace the traditional ways. Now, he has chosen to make himself an example to the younger Mandalorians and enter the bonds of matrimony. Her heart swells with pride as she imagines the future progeny they will gift to the Tribe, whether they are born or found. However, she takes the time to close her eyes and pray to the spirits. The newlyweds will need guidance.

Hopefully, the wedding night will not result in nearly as much structural damage as the courtship had.

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The first time Paz ever laid eyes upon you was shortly after the Armorer had finished negotiations to join with yours. It took nearly three weeks of negotiations, but your Tribe had ultimately yielded. No sane alor would turn away a dozen Hunters and their children, anyway. Paz admits that he did not find you all that impressive at first. You were – and still are - pretty average. Your armor at the time consisted of a bes’kar helmet and a steel chestplate that looked like the Armorer’s. Everything else was made of leather.

Tradesperson, he thought to himself, and he put you out of his mind.

As time went on, Paz came to like you, and even enjoy spending a few minutes with you here and there as his duties allowed. Even though you openly admitted that were an average warrior (at best), you did your job freakishly well. You had made your desire for a large family vocal, and that, combined with your skills, had caught the attention of several Hunters visiting to deliver the latest news. According to the Elders, the offers of marriage had come flooding in the instant you completed your first hunt, even though you hadn’t completed it until your twenty-third birthday.

When the average Mandalorian completed their first hunt by their nineteenth.

And Paz completed his on his seventeenth.

It didn’t take long for him to understand how you earned the loving-yet-frighteningly-accurate nickname shu’shika from the Tribe – you truly are a tiny disaster. You are dearly loved by your Tribe, but there is a tendency for things to break while you are around.

You are stubborn to a fault. That Paz can deal with. Over the past thirty or so years, he has had plenty of practice to out-stubborn his subordinates, and he always wins. The same holds true with his bounties. With you? There have been a few situations where he has come dangerously close to cracking and losing his temper. It is only your terrible self-defense skills and his affection for you that keep him from simply putting you in a headlock until you submit.

Paz sometimes wonders if you provoke him on purpose because you know he will not throw fists with someone who lacks proper training. He takes no pleasure in winning a fight if it was never a true fight to begin with.

Far too often, you get mouthy with him, to the point where he sometimes wants to grab you around the waist and launch you straight into the lake for being such a brat. You are never truly disrespectful, but you have no problem telling him what you think. Even when he does not ask for your opinion. He does, however, appreciate your honesty with him, since others are usually too intimidated by him to be as direct as you.

You’re kriffing fearless, to the point of recklessness. His threats to launch you into the lake have gone from true threats to playful teasing, and it always earns a laugh from you.

Your forgetfulness…it is truly obnoxious. At this point, he has stopped reminding you to pick up your shit. He has grown used to simply picking up your things off the floor (or the couch, or the tables, or the showers), stuffing them in a bag, and dumping it all on your table in the workshop. Just like everyone else in the Tribe does for you. Or, if he wants to see you, he will pocket your datapad until you come wandering into the common areas, and hand it over without a word. It never ceases to amaze you that Paz somehow seems to know exactly what you are looking for.

Paz has no doubts that if you ever set your bucket down, you will lose it. He kind of finds it endearing. But only from you. He has no problems holding armor, weapons, or personal property for ransom if some idiot leaves it unattended.

If there is even a single power cable in a wide-open room, you will invariably find it and trip over it. Stairs have to be clearly marked with vibrant tape to remind you of their existence even though they’ve been there for ten kriffing years. Your navigational skills are nonexistent. It is all Paz can do to refrain from simply attaching a tracker to your backside to keep you from getting lost whenever someone takes you to the market.

The first time he had taken you to the market, he lost you within forty-eight seconds. He panicked the entire time he looked for you. Fortunately, he found you trying to dig enough money out of your bag to buy some ice cream, with no regards as to how you were going to eat the kriffing ice cream with a damn bucket on your head.

Sometimes, Paz feels like his relationship with you is going to give him a full head of grey hair before his fiftieth birthday. But he thinks you are the most beautiful disaster he has ever seen in his life.

You get his dumb jokes and laugh at his silly puns. You let him steal the end pieces of the bread when you bake. You try so damn hard to improve your hand-to-hand combat skills, even when Doctor Shen threatens to tie you to a bed to keep you from hurting yourself. You turn to him first when you want to learn a new technique. You play hunters-and-prey with the children for hours, like you don’t care that the others are grumbling about you spoiling the kids. You listen to him ramble about whatever random topic he has picked up that week, and while you may not know anything about it, you ask questions and take the time to learn more about what makes him happy. You even offer to share your tiingilar with him, even when you only have a quarter ration of it.

He has spent most of his forty-four years alone in life. His eight-year relationship had ended exactly ten years ago when his partner chose to commit adultery. He was on the verge of proposing marriage when he caught them in his bed. Neither had been wearing their helmet. It was a privilege his partner had never granted him, even after nearly a decade together. After that gut-wrenching betrayal, something had shattered in him. Paz invested himself in his work fervently, his bitterness turning him away from the possibility of a long-term relationship. Now that he is older and wiser, he feels a sort of emptiness to his days. Like his successes mean nothing without having someone to share them with. He wants someone there to encourage and support him in his hunts. Someone who is not as cynical and burnt out from the constant threat of death and war. Someone who still has that shereshoya – that Mandalorian lust for each new day and every experience that it brings. That brightness in your soul draws him to you like a moth to the flame. It is your hidden gentility that has him so happily trapped in your orbit.

He wants to make you strong where you are weak.

He wants you to make him strong where he is weak.

Seeing you waiting for him at the shooting range brings a spring to his step. Hearing your laughter at one of his awful jokes makes him glad he wears a helmet so no one can see the ridiculous grin on his face. Smelling the sweet, flowery soap that you use makes his knees go all wobbly, though he’s not sure if it’s from affection or just from age. Just feeling your hand brush up against his makes him turn into a sweaty, flushed mess.

Paz Vizla feels like he’s strapped to the wing of a TIE fighter spinning out of control as it plummets to the ground below, or something like a fully-grown rath’tar has wrapped itself around his heart to squeeze. His belly is jam-packed with spice-crazed minochs and his heart is pounding wildly. When he thinks about kissing you one day, maybe just gently pressing his helmet against yours, his heart gets so full he can barely breathe.

You make him Feel Things he has never felt before.

Paz Vizla turns into a hot kriffing mess under his armor when he is around you, and he wants off this malfunctioning jetpack.

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Feel free to leave comments, concerns, or critiques. I love all sorts of feedback <3

[farouchelyoptimistic]

HyunJi: Rekindle

Part 3

"What do you think about Moon Young's character?"

Soo Hyun bobs his head up as he thinks of an answer. Heaps of media people flood the room, pushing and squeezing in just to get closer to the panel of celebrities during the press conference of the new drama, Psycho But It's Okay. It had been a hot topic for a few weeks now, not only because it was Kim Soo Hyun's comeback drama, but also because of the number of talented actors mixed in together like a melting pot.

He grins when a certain memory suddenly fills his head.

It was a long drive back home from a shoot in the country side. He was comfortably leaned back against his seat as he looked out the window, watching the fields as his car swiftly passes by. He glances down at his phone, flipping it up and down, contemplating whether to send Yea Ji a text or not. Deciding against it, he tosses the device to the other seat, looking out just in time as they slowed down by a small field of dandelions.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" He looks up at his driver, watching him from the rearview mirror.

"What is?"

"The dandelions." He turns his attention back to the beautiful embodiments of weeds. They were as white as the clouds---a few of them green---swaying to the cool breeze of the afternoon wind. They were weeds, and weeds were unpretty growths that are usually disregarded and stepped upon, meant to be trampled over. They were parasites that fed on the nutrients of the flowers among them. But dandelions were an exception. They were physical evidence that something traditionally overlooked can be beautiful enough to gain attention. That in a field where they are unwanted, they could still fit in, and sometimes stand out.

"They say dandelions symbolize happiness, simple joys and good companions. People give them to loved ones who provide happiness. Some even say that it's a promise of total faithfulness." He smiles as he lets the words of his driver fill his heart and mind.

Happiness. Simple joys. Good companion. Faithfulness. And for some odd reason, it all summed up to a certain someone who brightened up the room with her smile, and brought calm to his system with the way her eyes curved into thin lines.

"Can we pull over for a second?" His driver doesn't ask why, immediately obeying his boss' request. He parks the car by the side of the road.

Soo Hyun hops out of the car just as he slides the door open. He chuckles to himself when he squats down and starts picking up as many dandelions he can hold. When he could no longer carry more, he finally straightens up.

"Soo Hyun-ah, here." He smiles at the small basket his driver handed to him. He puts the dandelions in, squatting back down to add a few more bunches. Satisfied at the abundance, he takes it from his driver and gets back inside before someone else sees him picking some weeds by the side of the road.

He couldn't take his eyes from the basket on his lap, smiling to himself like a school boy. He chuckles and shakes his head, grabbing his phone to type a message.

Coffee at the usual?

"Uhm, Hyung. Can we. . . "

"I'll drive you to that coffee shop you like." He grins at his driver who looked at him with amused knowing eyes.

"She looks like a green dandelion." A short laugh erupts from him as everyone else try to mask their confusion with loud laughter. They gave a few comments, a few claps, but he knew they don't really get it.

When he turns to look beside him, Yea Ji was also laughing, trying to cover her mouth. She understood. Of course she did. She eyes him and shakes her head, bursts of laughter erupting from the back of her throat. They looked at each other, trapped in their own little bubble as they laughed at something only they understood.

The rest of the cast only laughed in amusement as they looked at the pair. Even the director and the writer could only chuckle and glance at each other in confusion. They had no idea where that came from. Of course they didn't, because it was totally unrelated to their drama.

"Dandelions." Yea Ji, chuckles to herself as she finds herself alone on the way to a quick shoot for an ad right after the press conference. She shakes her head, leaning it against the window.

She couldn't help her smile when she enters the private deck of the cafe they usually hang out at. Two orders of iced Americano were already on the table, and oddly, so was a basket filled with dandelions.

"What are these for?" She chuckles, eyeing the flowers as the she takes the seat in front of him, across the table.

"Dandelions. For you." He playfully picks it up and slides it closer to her, making her tilt her head in awe. She takes one and brings it closer to her face, a huge grin plastering on lips.

"You know, in Spain, people would blow on dandelions to make their wishes come true." She plays with it with her fingers, twirling it back and forth.

He smiles. He is once again reminded that this amazing woman in front of him was more than just her elegant beauty, but was also defined by her intellectuality and intelligence. She was a gem.

"Let's make a wish together then." He takes one of his own, bringing it closer to his lips. He winks at her, making her laugh before she nods her head and closes her eyes. He does the same.

"Hana, dul, set." They blow in unison. As they open their eyes, they smile at the sight of its petals dancing in the breeze like glitter under the bright blue sky. They looked magical as they scattered away like little pixies that granted wishes.

They couldn't help but share a light laugh, turning to look at each other.

"What did you wish for?" She asks him. He only shrugs his shoulders, playfully shaking his head. She pouts coyly, chuckling before she breathes out a short 'okay'.

I wished I could have you. He thought, but he didn't say it. He chose not to. Oblivious to him, she also wished for something similar. And just like him, she decided not to tell him too.

It didn't take long before they regained their level of comfort with each other. It was as if they just picked up from where they left off, sharing gentle touches and silent laughter as they shared stolen glances. Of course, they were a bit cautious, cautious not to step on the line, careful not to dive into the ocean that once almost sucked them in to a whirlpool. But they were only human, humans who were easily bewitched by their feelings.

Soo Hyun was majorly flustered by the natural confidence that she possessed. While he couldn't barely look at her for long, she never even flinches. He was too fearful that if he looked at her for too long, he couldn't restrain himself from holding her. And of course, there were times when he couldn't. He allowed himself to give her gentle pats on the shoulders, soft touches of the hands.

Yea Ji felt pride at the way she affects him. The way his ears turn red as he looks away whenever she catches him staring for too long. The way her touch seems to electrocute him, the way she brings out his extra energy. Despite being able to hide her emotions expertly, she couldn't deny that he affected her as much. And it's starting to terrify her. Because the more he tries to move closer, the more she develops a longing for him to stay.

He thinks she doesn't notice, but she does. She notices everything, especially the obvious chivalry that he displays. Wrapping her coat around her, carrying her bag for her, giving her water, giving her a cup of coffee in the morning. They way he gets on his feet to run towards her just to help her down a flight of stairs. She notices. She doesn't allow herself to drown in oblivion.

It terrifies her to the core. How the warmth of his touch lingers on her skin, how his presence brightens up her day. It terrifies her because whenever she catches him starting, her heart flutters, beating in a knowing abnormal way. She's aware of what kind of feelings she's starting to develop, and its scaring her to proportions of great lengths.

She promised to guard her heart, to build walls around it, to protect it from the pain of heartache. What she had been through broke her to pieces, broke her too much, she even thought she could never put it back together. But she did, slowly, piece by piece. And with the rate her heart beats for him now, she's terrified that it might just break so easily.

So she swears to be cautious. To remind herself of the consequences. To recall the moments when her heart hurt so much she couldn't breathe, so that she remembers how easily it can break again now if she lowers her guard down. So she's careful. Careful not to lead him on. Careful not to show her feelings to vividly.

But it was inevitable not to get carried away. Human emotions is sometimes too strong for the body to control. She'd be too late to notice that she'd been laughing to his unfunny jokes too much, that she's been linking her arm on his for too long. It takes her a moment to realize she had allowed him to hold her hand for too long, allowed him to get too close.

"Are you hungry?" Soo Hyun turns to Yea Ji beside him as the music started blasting loud enough for anyone to be able to hear them talking softly. The radio host was deep in conversation with Jung Se that none of them paid attention to the pair who had been constantly bickering and joking with each other.

"Yes, I'm hungry. Just a little bit." She was surprised by her own automatic response, but she doesn't take it back. Soo Hyun only nods, making it a point to ask her to have dinner with him after the show. And he does. The show didn't take too long to end, and he basically just decided to man up and ask her straight up. When she said yes after a defeating silence if a few minutes, he almost wanted to release a breath of relief.

They went to a private restaurant, similar to the ones they usually went to. They have lodged away in a small room, just the two of them, away from the private eye. He couldn't bring himself to stare at her as she was turned to the other side, gaze stuck on the painting against the wall.

He doesn't fail to notice that despite the comfortable interactions between the two of them, she was weary. Careful. There were times when she placed an obvious distance between them after standing too close, stopping herself abruptly after laughing with him for too much. She was holding back, forcing herself to hold back, and he noticed. It pained him slightly, but he was happy enough that she allows him to hold her hand for a little, to joke around with her. He was happy enough with the small moments she allows him to spend with her. Because unlike her, he wasn't at any chance trying to hold back.

He held back ages ago and it didn't bring him any good. There wasn't a time when he doesn't remember her. The way her eyes curved into thin lines and the way her nose scrunched up every time she smiles. He thought about her every single time he was paired with someone else other than her. And on quiet nights, he wished he could hear her voice again. Never a time he wished she was there with him.

If he had only taken a chance a few years ago, maybe things could have been different for both of them. But the universe works in many great ways. Bringing them together like this, after so long, was proof of it's immeasurable, unexpected powers. And this time, there was no holding back. He had lost her once, he's not losing her to his fear of the unknown this time.

"Yea Ji-ah." He muses softly, gently, yet cautiously reaching fo her hand on the table. When their fingers so much as brushes against each other, she turns to him.

She saw the determination in his eyes, even felt it in the warmth when he placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her inside the restaurant. She knew he had been feeling what she's been feeling, the only difference was, he wasn't holding back. Unlike her character, open and straightforward, she was acting more like his character now. Repressing and taking a step back.

The way he looked at her right now made her heart hammer against her chest. She could feel it, even if she doesn't want to. The fear was overpowering, making her heart thud a tad bit faster.

"Soo Hyun-ah." She slides her hand away from his. The tone in her voice stuns him for a second, making his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach.

"I had been with someone, a few years back. I thought I was happy, I really did. It got a little too obsessive and I knew it was toxic, but I just tried to make it work. I stayed until broke me. I waited until I was in pieces before I decided to let go." It brought a certain ache in her heart as she continued talking. Not because she wasn't over her old flame, but because she pained for the way she broke herself for other people.

Watching her talk about a dark aspect in her life ached Soo Hyun in many ways he can't point out. He could see the grief in her eyes, and the way it sent her voice trembling.

"I'm telling you this because you make me feel what it truly feels to be happy with someone. Making me realize how unhappy I truly was when I thought I was actually happy. You make me feel comfortable and warm, and you never fail to make me laugh. You make me lose sleep at night, thinking about how your presence has become something I long for. I'm telling you this because it terrifies me. Because I'm afraid that if you ask for my heart I can't give it to you. Because the last time I gave it to someone else, it was returned to me in pieces. I'm telling you this so could stop. Because I'm too scared, and I don't want to lead you on into nothing."

He watches her take a breath, looking away from him. He was at a loss for words, trying ti absorb every word she said. He never thought that hearing how she longs for him could actually hurt.

"We had our shot back then, it didn't work. Let's not dive into it again, fully knowing it won't ever. Let's be friends, and give our all in this drama. And maybe when it's over, we can just forget each other again." She doesn't wait for him to speak, pushing her chair back as she stands up. She grand her bag and turns around to walk towards the door.

Doorknob at arm's length, he gently grabs hold of her wrist, stopping her.

"We never had a shot back then, because none of us took one. We were both cowards. I was a coward. I knew you were scared, and so was I. But I should have been strong for both of us. I should have taken the risk because you are worth it. Then you wouldn't have met that bastard who broke you." He looked at her intently, eyes boring into hers. He moves his hand on her wrist to hold her hand properly, reaching for the other so he was holding both.

"I appreciate you telling me that. But that won't make me stop. I won't stop because you're afraid. I won't stop especially now that I know you feel the same way." He squeezes her hands tighter. "I'm going to hold your hands. I'm going to keep making jokes that aren't funny because that seems to make you laugh a lot. I'll keep showing you that I care because I do. I'll keep being flustered whenever you look at me because you make my heart flutter. I'll keep acting like how a man acts in front of a woman he likes. I'll stay close, and I'll hold your hands until you're not scared anymore. Until you say yes to me."

He lets go of her hand and pulls her back to the table, pulling the chair back. She was remotely dumbfounded, her mouth slightly agape as she looks at him. He gently pushes her down so she was sitting on her chair again.

"And I'm not letting you leave without eating. I took you here to have dinner, and I'm taking you home after. My manager doesn't call me a persistent idiot for nothing." His gaze lingers on her eyes that we're on him as he makes his around the table. Just before he could sit down, a wave of tears floods out of her eyes, causing him an internal panic.

"Omo." His worried nonchalant eyes grow wide, his feet scrambling to go back to her.

"Mianhae. Was I too harsh? I didn't mean to startle you." He rambles as he reaches for her face, gently wiping her tears with his thumbs.

"I was going to say I'm in love with you, but that would spook you out. So I didn't say it yet. Mianhae. Oh, otteoke." He continues to ramble mindlessly, losing his wits at the sight of her tears.

She looks at him, and immediately he realizes what he's said. "Oh, ani--" Before he could finish, she erupts into a light laugh, making him smile. She lets out a breath, allowing him to wipe off her tears.

He was true to his words. He treated her the same, making it impossible for her to be more distant. He really was a persistent idiot. He'd stuck by her closer, longer. He'd tell the lamest jokes, which of course made her cackle down to the bone. He made her happy every day, and sometimes, for a while, she would forget that she was afraid.

"See you on the other side!" The cameraman waves his hand and turns around, running towards the end of the bridge. At the sound of the director's 'cut!', the cameraman doesn't waste his time staying on the hundred-meter long bridge.

Soo Hyun could only laugh as he watched the scared cameraman run to safety. But the cameraman wasn't the only one who was scared. A few meters behind him was an equally scared Yea Ji. Even her character had to be scared for the scene, and so was she. She trembled at the thought of being two hundred meters above ground, on a massively shaky bridge that wobbled at every step.

"Yea Ji-ah, come o--" Soo Hyun bursts in laughter at the sight of her grabbing hold of the railings, taking slow weary steps. They were already halfway there, just a few meters till they reach the other side.

"Don't laugh!" She whines, equally scared and amused. She took deep breaths at each step, holding on to the railings tight.

"Soo Hyun-ah! Take care of Yea Ji-ah!" The director's voice resonates through the mic.

"De!" He shouts back, biting off a laugh.

"Yea Ji-ah, if you keep walking slow, you'll stay on this bridge longer." He was teasing her. He mimicked the way she took terrified steps, laughing at her state. She could only curse at him internally, focusing on her breathing and the way she grabbed hold of the rails.

"Run! I'll wait for you." He yells, stopping. Taking her chance, she bravely lets go and runs with all her might. Just when she was about to grab him, he runs away, his loud laughter roaring through. "Aish. Kim Soo Hyun!" She yells as she runs after him, her knees trembling at the feel of the bridge swinging side to side.

Soo Hyun reaches the other end first, stopping right in front of the bridge as he watched Yea Ji running towards him. He couldn't help but laugh, opening his arms wide for her. "Hurry, Seo Yea Ji!"

When she reaches the other side, she automatically crashes into him, her knees giving out. He wraps his arms around her waist, keeping her up as he chuckles. He could feel the way her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath, her arms around his neck, head against his chest. He held her tight, closer, suddenly forgetting the staff around them.

"Kinchana? Hmm?" He rubs her back gently, smiling as she whispers a silent 'I hate you.' When her breathing stabilizes, she slowly let's go, pushing herself off. At the sight of hIs annoying face, she playfully hits his chest, which he only receives with a laugh.

The people around them could only smile and laugh with them, but they couldn't help but look at each other. A few hunches we're born that day, adding to the already existing pile. Something was going on, they thought, but they chose not to say anything. Their privacy was not something they wanted to violate. Whatever was going on, it wasn't anyone's business. Well, except for Manager Ryu who could only stare at the pair in both fear and amusement. The very first time he saw them together, he knew his job was going to get harder. He lets out a sigh as he blocks the bts camera filming the two.

The night had already gone deep and they had just finished filming the last scene. It had started raining a few minutes ago, which had halted the pack up process. While the whole staff tried to deal with the clothes and the equipment along with the rain, Yea Ji was instructed to go back to the room they had rented while everyone finished up.

Walking back to the room, she was surprised to see Soo Hyun sitting by the door, barely being housed from the rain.

"Aren't you going to get wet?" She says, walking up to him. He looks up at her and chuckles, shaking his head, bringing his palms up to show her he was dry. She smiles, sitting beside him. This time, she doesn't remember to put some distance.

She looked at him, surprised at his silence only to find him staring at a bunch of dandelions growing from the ground to the side of the room.

"Dandelions also symbolize healing from internal pain." He says, turning to face her. Now they were looking at each other.

He looks down at her hand and takes it in his, rubbing small circles on the back of her palm. "I know you're scared. And I know you're healing. I don't need to be someone significant right now, but I'm not going to go away. I'm going to stay, and I hope you allow me to be something that will help you heal. I can be your dandelion. And when you're healed, I hope I can be someone allowed to call you mine."

He looked at her with so much passion in his eyes that it made her heart warm. There was something else in his orbs that screamed something more meaningful, but she was still slightly scared of the thought. But it gave her comfort to see it in the spark of his eyes, under the bright moon with the sound of silent rain.

He smiles at her, his eyes curving into a thin line. She smiles too.

He lets out a breath, looking forward. He doesn't let go of her hand.

"You think they'd be surprised with Moon Young and Gang Tae's first kiss?" She doesn't say a word, she only replies with a chuckle. It wasn't just their character's first kiss, it was also theirs, unofficially.

"Can I ask you one question." He asks, still looking straight ahead.

"What is it?"

"If I asked you if I could kiss you back then, would you have let me?" They both remembered the day they decided to wake up from the dream. A kiss back them would have complicated things more, but it could have also changed how things turned out.

"I would have let you even if you didn't ask."

None of them say anything for a few seconds. Silent and still as they watched the raindrops fall to the ground.

And then in a split second, he turns around, gently cups her face and presses a warm kiss on her lips. She was caught off-guard, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers. It takes her a second before she allows her body to undermine what her brain is commanding. She responds to his kisses.

His other hand softly rests on her waist, gently pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss, tasting every inch of her mouth. Her hand instinctively rises to his chest, not to push him away, but to have something to hold.

When they pull out of the kiss, their hearts were racing a few hundred miles per second. Their impulsivity surprised them both, their chests heaving in unison. The tips of their noses brush against each other as they slowly lean back from each other.

"Next time, I'll ask permission." He says, his eyes boring into hers with so much emotion.

Before she could even say another word, footsteps coming their way made her look to the direction it was coming from. Manager Ryu looked at both of them with a suspicious look in his eyes, but he doesn't say anything. He walks closer, holding a big black umbrella.

"Yea Ji-ah, you're car is ready. I'll come back for you after I send her to her car, Soo Hyun-ah. Looks like you have a lot of thinking to do." She nods, avoiding his gaze as she walks over to him, getting under the umbrella. She glances behind her for a second, catching Soo Hyun's eyes on her. He lets out a dorky smile, shrugging his shoulders.

[larryssunflower]

The Non-Royal Romance, season two, part two

last part of season one     teaser trailer      season two, part one      masterlist

tagging- @ravenpuff02 @simplyaiden-blog @msjr0119 @butindeed @mfackenthal @choices-lurker @american-duchess @drakelover78 @monosodiumglutamateme @crookedslimecreatorpasta @mrsdrakewalkerblog @traeumerinwitzhelden @gardeningourmet​ @speedyoperarascalparty​ @agent-zephyrkah​ @liam-rhys-x-mc-x-constantine​ @snyggflicka​ @texaskitten30​ @annekebbphotography​ @irishwhiskys-blog​ @nomadics-stuff​ @catlady0911​ @twinkle-320​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @drakewalker04​ @bigmemesplz​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @sleepwalkingelite​ @pintobom​ @moneyfordiamonds​ @mskaneko​ @lauzales​ @princessleac1​ @kingliam2019​ @queen-arabella-of-cordonia​ @drake-colt-lover-99​

- Thank you all for your support and I really do apologize for taking so long with this! You would think having all the time in the world because of Quarantine would make me write more… guess not lol. But in all seriousness, I have been going through serious writer’s block right now but I hope you guys like this part! I made it a little longer than usual for you guys ;) I can’t wait to continue this story further! love you all <3 -

warning- there may or may not be some smut at the end hehe ;)

Blinking away sleep from my eyes, I sit up, stopping when I see Drake, sitting in a chair beside me, watching me with a soft look in his eyes. I blush slightly, feeling insecure having just woke up, knowing I look like a hot mess. “Ah, good morning Princess,” Drake murmurs amusedly as I stretch my arms above my head before looking at him with a tired smile. “You know I’m Queen now, right?” I retort, my voice slightly hoarse, making him smirk. “Touché,” He comments with a slight nod. I chuckle and start to remember last night, how I asked him to stay when something hits me. “How long have you been awake?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. He couldn’t have stayed awake the whole night, right?

He seems surprised at the question and takes a moment to think. “About 36 hours, why?” He asks nonchalantly, turning his head to the side. I choke. “36 hours? How are you alive??” I demand incredulously, my eyes wide, half in shock, half impressed. Drake chuckles, looking down. “For a time when I serving the navy, I was trained to stay awake for 72 hours,” He explains, and I’m taken aback yet again. “How?” I ask, making him smile slightly, looking down. “It’s a sniper’s tactic traditionally, which helped them stay awake while watching or following a target for a long period of time,” He says, somewhat tentatively, “It works by creating a fantasy or imagining a scenario which includes the target, to keep them attentive and focused at the task at hand.” Drake concludes. I nod along, thinking for a moment.

I glance up at him, my stomach suddenly fluttering. “So you created a scenario about… me?” I ask softly, and his cheeks redden slightly. “Y-yeah,” He admits. A grin spreads over my face. “Drake…” I start slowly, “what’s the fantasy?” I ask, my eyes flicking up to meet his. He brings his hand to scratch behind his neck, and his eyes shifting to the side. “Well-“ Drake’s cut off by aggressive pounding on my door, making me flinch, my heart stopping.

Drake is instantly on his feet. My eyes widen as I recognize the voice shouting through the door. “Hey! Alana!! I know you’re in there! Open up!”. I laugh in shock, making Drake look at me, surprised. I clamber off my bed, rushing over to the door. “Alana you can’t just-“ Drake starts, coming after me, but I fling the door open to reveal someone who has been at university for the past four years, my sister. “Kai!” I exclaim, throwing my arms around her, making her giggle, hugging me back. “Alana! god, it’s been too long!” She gushes, squeezing me tightly. I pull away to take a good look at her. I feel emotional as she smiles at me, looking so grown up. “Wow, Kai, you look older than me! How is that possible?” I laugh, making her shrug playfully.

“It’s all the studying! I swear I’ve aged about thirty years just to get a damn Bachelor’s,” Kai chuckles, her eyes drifting over my shoulder. “Oh! Kai, this is my bodyguard, Drake,” I say, turning so she can see him. She nods at him, and he does the same back.

I grab Kai’s hand, dragging her inside. “Come in! We need to catch up.” I demand, marching her to my couch in the corner of the room. Drake walks to the door, motioning that he will be out in the hallway, and I nod with a smile.

“Gah! I’m so excited for you! I used to dream about this time when we were younger, thinking about you being Queen and engaged! It’s so exciting!” She exclaims, her face bright. I force the best smile I can. If only she knew how complicated all of this is. “Well it’s not all perfect,” I start, but she cuts me off. “Well of course. You still have that Assassination situation, and I’m sure the wedding planning is going to be crazy, but no matter what you need, I’ll be right here.” She implores, holding my hand.

A huge wave of gratitude washes over me and I smile with a sigh of relief. “Thank you Kai, I really appreciate it. It also helps that you are way more educated than I am,” I say with a chuckle, and she just grins. “I’ve always been the smarter one, I think you should learn to accept that,” She retorts cheekily, making me roll my eyes. “Whatever,” I chuckle.

The door opens after a gentle knock, Drake sticking his head in. “Hey, Maxwell’s here-“ and before he can finish his sentence, Max barges in, squealing with excitement when he sees Kai. Drake just rolls his eyes in annoyance, making me grin. I know he secretly loves it, although he will never admit that. “Little K!” Maxwell exclaims, running over. Kai gets up excitedly, wrapping him in a hug.

We all catch up for a moment before Maxwell turns to me. “Oh yeah! We have that barn-raising today, so you guys should probably get dressed.” Maxwell says, and I groan at my forgetfulness. “Oh, I came just in time then!” Kai says excitedly.

“Let’s go catch up somewhere else and let my dear sister change in peace,” Kai says, grabbing Max’s arm, and guiding him out. I wave after them with a chuckle as Max starts to fill her in on the past four years.

—-

Our car finally arrives at the small patch of farm where the building of the barn has already started. A crowd of nobles are helping construction workers lay down the foundation, clearly sweating on the warm summer day. The paparazzi are snapping photos here and there, while others wait in the shade for new nobles to arrive, ready to assault them with questions for their magazines and gossip columns.

Drake turns around in his seat, facing Kai and I. “Are you two ready?” He asks, and I nod. “Yeah, I guess so,” Kai mumbles, seeming nervous. It’s her first time being introduced to the press. Like me, she was hidden her whole childhood from Cordonia. It actually ended up helping her when she went to university in France, because no one knew who she was. Her intellectual success depended on her work, not her title. I’m not surprised she is nervous, not too long ago it was my first time being in front of the press at the derby. God, that feels like a century ago.

Drake opens my door, holding his hand out. For a moment I’m back to that day, and Drake is still here, holding his hand for me. If only things had changed. In the beginning, I had dreaded the inevitability having to be engaged and married to someone I didn’t love, but after meeting Drake and slowly falling in love with him, the thought of being with someone else became painful to even consider. If only I was on the engagement tour with him as my fiancé, not as my bodyguard. I take his hand and step down, making eye contact with his beautiful deep eyes for a moment, before I look away, feeling loss as soon as my eyes leave his. He helps Kai down, and the three of us start down the dirt path to the barn, the hot summer wind already wrapping itself around me like a thick blanket. The paparazzi spot us, and the vultures descend. In seconds they are crowded around us, shouting and snapping pictures, blinding us with their flash.

“Who is this woman with you?” “Alana! How are things with Liam?” “Have you found the Assassins yet?” “Who are you wearing?”

“Okay folks, back up!” Drake shouts, him and Kai’s bodyguard creating a barrier between us and pushing them away. “Come on! Just one comment!” One reporter begs, and Drake looks over at me. I nod reluctantly in approval. “The Queen will give a statement, so shut up and let her speak,” Drake says in a commanding voice and within seconds the paparazzi quiet down, eagerly holding out tape recorders towards us and positioning their cameras. I clear my throat nervously. “Thank you all for uh, coming out today, I appreciate it. This is my younger sister, Princess Kai, she just graduated from University and will be accompanying me during the engagement tour,” I begin, my palms already starting to sweat. I am hopeless at public speaking. “We, unfortunately, haven’t found anything on the assassination yet, but we are working tirelessly to find out who orchestrated that horrible event. And Liam and I are doing well. Thank you,” I finish the statement to my incredible relief, already cringing at my choppy, awkward speech. The paparazzi only respond with more questions and I’m about to leave when Kai stops me, her hand in my arm. “wait,” she whispers to me before turning to the paparazzi.

“Hello, I wanted to make sure to personally introduce myself to you all. As my amazing sister said, I just graduated from University and I am so pleased to finally be home in Cordonia. It breaks my heart to be home at such a scary time, where the people and nobles alike are scared for their lives. But I assure you, as my sister said, we will work tirelessly until we find who is responsible. In the meantime, all we can do is help unite Cordonia, and remind people of love, kindness, and hope in this troubling time. Because that is what Liam and Alana’s union stands for, the perseverance of our incredible country and the unity of our nation. Now, if you lovely people don’t mind, we have a barn to build.” Kai finishes effortlessly with a firm nod, before looping her arm through mine and leading me toward the barn.

I stumble after her in shock. I open and close my mouth wordlessly. “Wow. You are incredible at speaking- words-” I stutter, further proving my point of being helpless at speaking, making her laugh. “Yeah well I learned a lot about diplomacy and public speaking at school, but to be honest its a second nature at this point,” She says simply. We are quiet for a moment, the only sound being the crunch of our shoes on the dirt.

After a moment, I break the comfortable silence. “You reminded me of dad,” I say suddenly, making her stop, her eyes soft. “Really?” She asks, a hopeful smile on her face. I nod. “He was always incredible at speaking, you know that,, I always admired him for it,” I mumble, a sadness falling over me. He died when I was eight, Kai was only five, but she still misses him just as much. I was always a daddy’s girl which made life after his death so much harder with my distant mother who only got worse as the years went by.

“Hey, just because you aren’t the best at public speaking doesn’t mean you won’t be a great leader,” Kai reassures me, but I just snort. “Let’s hope so,” I say, making her laugh.

“Ah, You must be the famous little sister!” A voice says, and we look over to see Liam and Leo walking up to us. Kai nods with a polite laugh. “That’s me! You must be the fiancé!” She enthuses, and he nods with a grin. He kisses her hand respectfully, before turning to me. “Hey babe,” He says sweetly, planting a kiss on my cheek. “Hey,” I mumble, and instinctively my eyes immediately snap up to look at Drake, who is watching Liam closely, his eyes narrowed. I try to hide my smile as I look away and notice Leo approaching Kai.

“Hello gorgeous,” Leo says with a bow, kissing Kai’s outstretched knuckles. She squints her eyes at him for a moment, clearly looking him over with distaste. “I believe the term you were looking for is ‘Your Highness’,” Kai responds flatly, only making a smirk spread across Leo’s face. He nods. “Of course, Your Highness,” He says slyly, amusement in his eyes. Kai just rolls her eyes before turning to me.

“Ready to raise a barn?” She asks. I chuckle and nod. All four of us, the bodyguards following, head over to the construction site and start hammering, lifting support beams, and painting wood strips.

—

Kai and I paint the newly applied wooden slats of the barn side by side. We chat as we do so, filling each other in on all the gossip of the past four years. “Max finally asked Allie out? I’m so happy for them!” Kai gushes, and I smile at the bittersweetness of the situation. It’s great to have Kai back again, but it’s sad because we have missed out on so much of each other’s lives.

“So, I saw what happened between you and Leo,” I whisper tentatively, glancing over my shoulder to look at Leo, who was helping Liam hammer the support beams. Kai groans with a roll of her eyes. “Ugh, do not get me started. I know all about his ‘bachelor lifestyle’ and how he treats women like disposable tissues. All the women at uni knew about him, and when I told them where I was from, all they could do was gush about him constantly. I don’t get it. He flirts with anything that has two breasts and a vagina,” She scoffs, shaking her head, painting with a new sense of anger. I snicker at my usually composed sister. “So you don’t like him then?” I ask cheekily, making her look over at me with a dead-pan expression. “No.” She says flatly, making me snicker more. At least we can agree on that.

A hand comes up suddenly, touching my shoulder gently. I jump, turning to see Liam. “Hey babe, I think it would be a good idea to be doing some things together, you know, for publicity?” He says, glancing over at the paparazzi hanging around, snapping pictures here and there but looking quite restless. “Oh, that’s a good idea! Yeah, you guys should do that!” Kai nods, and I reluctantly smile. “Yeah, let’s do it then,” I say with fake enthusiasm, before following him.

Liam and I start to do little things together like painting window panes, securing them to the walls, helping hoist materials to the roof, all the while, getting top-notch ‘candid’ pictures for the paps. Eventually, a good amount of the press leaves, clearly getting all the photos needed. “Well, that was fun,” Liam comments, and I nod. We stand in an awkward silence before I speak. “Yeah, I should probably get back to Kai, we have a lot to catch up on,” I say quickly, and Liam nods. I turn around, heading over to Kai before I look up and stop in my tracks.

My jaw drops as I spot Drake, shirtless, pulling on a rope to help maneuver a pretty big beam. My mouth feels dry as I observe the way the sun shines over him through the unfinished roof. Blinking dumbly, I watch his muscles shift in the midday sun, seemingly in slow motion, a sheen of sweat gleaming on his lean figure. “Damn. That’s your bodyguard?” Kai says beside me, snapping me out of my daze. I clear my throat, forcing myself to tear my eyes from his fit form. “Uh- yeah. He’s great.” I mumble, suddenly feeling really hot. “Hey, do you reckon you guys got some good shots with Liam?” Kai asks, and I nod. “Yeah- um, they should turn out great,” I say absentmindedly, grabbing a spare paintbrush and joining Kai at the wooden panels.“Are you alright?” Kai asks, looking at me with concern. I chuckle. “Yes! I’m just a bit hot after all this work! It doesn’t help that it feels like 900 degrees outside,” I laugh, making Kai nod in agreement.

“I have a solution for that problem m’ lady’s,” Maxwell says from behind us, slinging both of his arms over our shoulders. “And that is?” Kai asks with amusement, glancing over at Max’s enthusiastic face. “Well, there is a certain spa not so far from here. If you ask me, it’s the perfect thing after all this hard labor,” Max says with a pair of pleading puppy dog eyes. I snort. “Okay Max, we can go,” I smile, making Max let out a cheer, before going to inform Liam and Leo. “I missed you guys,” Kai says with a sweet smile. “Trust me K, we missed you too,” I grin, my heart happy. It’s nice to have family together like this again.

I sneak a peek back over my shoulder at Drake to see him shaking hands with one of the other construction workers, buttoning his shirt, his suit jacket resting on his shoulders.

In another world, I would be standing in front of him, finishing his buttons for him, straightening out his jacket, and planting a kiss on his lips to finish it off. Like an actual couple. I sigh, before going back to painting the barn.

—

After a quick celebration for the now completed barn, Liam, Leo, Maxwell, Kai, and I head over to the spa, the sun starting to set and the world beginning to cool down, satisfied with the work we put in all afternoon. “Its actually way more satisfying than I thought, seeing our hard work being translated to an actual finished building!” Max enthuses. “And what ‘hard work’ did you do exactly? It almost seemed like every time I saw you, I think you were taking a ‘break’” Liam grins with feigned confusion. Maxwell mocks offense with a dramatic scoff and a delicate hand on his chest. “Dear Liam, never have I been so offended! You just happened to see me between my bursts of intense labor,” Max dismisses, making the rest of us laugh.

“I’m pretty sure the person who did the hardest labor was Mr. Walker,” Kai starts, turning to a now surprised Drake, who was following us with the other bodyguard. “You were helping pull a huge beam, most people would need two others to help with something that size,” Kai says, impressed. The rest of us turn to look at Drake for his answer. Clearly uncomfortable with all the eyes on him, he clears his throat. “Oh, well I know a couple of the construction workers and they needed an extra pair of um- hands, so I helped out,” He says, averting eye contact. I smile at his stubborn humbleness. It’s adorable.

“Well good job man, good to know the man working to protect my fiancé is a hard worker,” Liam says, clapping his shoulder. Drake just nods, his jaw clenching. As we continue our walk, I wonder if Liam is purposefully condescending towards Drake. It really seems like it.

Kai decides to join Max in his car to the spa, and Leo quickly follows. They encourage Liam and me to get some ’alone time’ by driving separately. Liam, Drake, and I reach my car, both men reaching to open the door for me at the same time, making them stop. They look at each other for a moment. “No need to worry about that Drake, I can open the door for my fiancé,” Liam says, an edge to his voice. Drake glances over at me. I just nod, so Drake backs away. “Of course,” Drake says unenthusiastically, allowing Liam to open my door. I get in, and Liam follows, closing the door. Drake gets in the front with the driver, and we follow Maxwell’s car to the spa.

Liam’s hand feels foreign as it rests on my knee protectively. “You look beautiful today Alana,” Liam says in my ear. I smile. “Thank you, you look handsome, as usual,” I respond. His hand drifts from my knee to find my left hand, his thumb running over the surface of my decadent ring. I watch as he does so, the familiar feeling of guilt creeping up my throat. “I can’t wait to marry you,” Liam mumbles softly. I glance over at him. He looks up at me with a smile. “M-me too,” I stutter, the guilt overpowering my heart manifesting into sadness. I hate doing this to him. Being engaged, making him think I love him when I fear that I never will. My eyes flick up to the rearview mirror to see Drake watching us. I quickly look away to the scenery outside the window, forcing myself to not let the tear that’s threatening to fall show how broken my heart is.

In about ten minutes of silence, we arrive at the spa to my relief. Liam quickly opens our car door, getting out first, before Drake can even go to open it. Liam seems proud of himself as he holds the door open to me, his hand held out like Drake’s usually is. Drake stands behind Liam, looking frustrated. I take Liam’s hand getting out of the car before brushing softly past Drake and meeting up with the rest of the group inside.

—

We unwind in a private room, equipped with a hot tub, a cold plunge, and lounge chairs. Some of us go off at different times to get massages and facials, before coming back so we can all enjoy the room together. At some point, Maxwell shows off his baby hippo tattoo that I encouraged him to get one night when we were pretty drunk. Kai nearly falls off the lounge chair with laughter. I even catch Drake shaking his head slightly, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Good idea on coming here buddy,” Liam comments, making Max smile with cocky satisfaction. He leans back, folding his hands behind his head cooly and stretching out fully on the lounge chair. “Don’t worry about it, I just require that you continue to talk about how awesome and incredible this idea was for the rest of our lives, and how much you admire me,” Max shrugs confidently, making us roll our eyes.

“Yeah, you get to be thrown into the plunge for that,” Leo concludes, making Liam nod in agreement.

“W-wait what?” Max asks, sitting up, his eyes wide. Leo and Liam suddenly grab him, making him squeal as they head over to the cold plunge. They throw him into the freezing water after a dramatic count to three, his high pitched scream cutting out as he is submerged underwater. Kai and I laugh as Leo and Liam nod, looking pleased with themselves until Max grabs their ankles, dragging them into the water, their expressions changing pretty quickly. Kai and I laugh even harder, clutching at our stomachs as the men surface, their hair stuck to the forehead with sour expressions on their faces.

“That’s what you guys get for being jerks!” Kai shouts playfully. “Oh sorry, would you like to join us?” Leo asks, turning his head to the side. “I think she does,” Maxwell confirms, as they get out, heading over to us. Kai gasps, getting up quickly. “No! I hate the cold!” She exclaims with a grin, backing up. The boys suddenly start after her, making her shriek with laughter as she gets chased around the room. I grin, watching them. After they successfully get her in the plunge, Leo and Maxwell turn to me. “Unless you want to have the wrath of the Queen against you, I would suggest you back away,” I warn, making them glance at each other, before deciding its not worth it and backing away, starting a splashing war against Kai.

Liam gets out, heading over and sitting next to me. “How are you feeling?” I ask cheekily as he wraps himself in his towel. “Cold.” He says with a laugh, making me chuckle. “I can see that,” I say with amusement. “Hey, want to join me in the sauna? The hot steam sounds very appealing right now,” Liam chuckles. “Yeah, sure,” I say, getting up. We head down a hallway, the sauna just behind a marked door on the left.

Liam turns around, and he sighs. “Walker, it’s not necessary for you to follow us everywhere we go,” He says, making me turn to see Drake standing behind us, his eyes narrowed at Liam. “It is my job to protect her,” Drake says sternly, holding his ground. “Not for long. Last time I checked, that’s a husband’s job,” Liam snarls, inching towards Drake. “I’m sorry, last time I checked, you two are only engaged,” Drake responds, inching towards Liam as well, his fists balled. I widen my eyes, stepping between them. “First of all, I don’t need anyone to protect me okay? And I especially don’t need you two fighting over protecting me like I’m a child. Drake, thank you for your concern, but we will be okay. Liam, Drake is just trying to do his job, and I need you to respect that,” I lecture them. Drake nods, looking down. Liam backs up, looking embarrassed. “God,” I swear under my breath, shaking my head and walking into the sauna.

Liam and I sit on the wooden seats, enjoying the hot steam enveloping us. I lean back, closing my eyes. I feel my muscles finally relaxing, the stress and soreness from building the barn starting to dissipate.

I open my eyes to Drake kissing my neck, his stubble scratching over my sensitive skin, making me gasp slightly. “Shh, it’s alright, I’m going to make you feel good princess,” He whispers hoarsely in my ear, making me moan breathily, goosebumps rising all over my arms. His hands are running slowly up and down my bare back, his mouth moving down my body. I run my hands through his soft hair, tugging slightly, earning a throaty groan from him. I watch him as his mouth gets lower and lower-

“Alana! I think you fell asleep,” Liam says beside me, gently shaking my shoulder. I jump slightly, looking over to see Liam sitting next to me, watching me with a concerned look. I chuckle, bringing my hand to my forehead, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry! I had no idea I fell asleep,” I say sheepishly, my cheeks burning as I sit up straight. My face feels really hot, I just can’t tell if it’s from the steam or the dream. Liam chuckles. “You seemed like you were having an interesting dream,” He says, making me nod with a gulp. “Yeah, I uh, don’t remember it, you know how dreams can be,” I stutter. He just nods in agreement. “Hey, lets head out, I’m feeling a little light-headed,” I say quickly, getting up.

As we open the door, the cool refreshing air washes over us. Drake turns around to face us, making butterflies flutter in my stomach as we make eye contact. All I can think about is the dream, the way he was feeling me. “Yo Liam! come over here!” Leo shouts from the main room. Liam shoots me a smile before walking over the group. I stay behind, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, glancing over at Drake, suddenly feeling nervous around him.

He slightly furrows his brow. “Are you okay?” He questions, glancing over me. I gulp, with a nervous nod. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, I just fell asleep in there and feel a little light-headed,” I mutter, shifting on my feet. Drake watches me for a minute.

“You’re acting strange,” He states, making me scoff. “Me? I- am not acting strange,” I say, trying to sound casual. Drake leans in, his eyes roaming my face as I stare back at him, my heart pounding. “Did- Did you have a hot dream about me?” He asks a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

My mind goes blank on defenses, making Drake’s grin grow wider. “You did didn’t you?” He asks a look of astonishment on his face. My face gets even hotter, only being able to stutter in response.

Drake glances down the hallway, then back at me, before grabbing the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his. I gasp against him, kissing him back. He suddenly breaks off the kiss, making me sigh in defeat. not again. I glance back up at him, waiting for the usual excuses he tells like ‘this isn’t right’ or ‘you’re engaged’, but he doesn’t say anything, just stares down at me.

He grabs my hand and swiftly drags me into the bathroom on the other side of the hall, locking the door behind me. I blink up at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to say something. He just pushes me up against the closed door, kissing me again, rougher this time. Oh. I kiss him back hungrily, basking in this feeling with him, the way his large hands are tugging me closer against his frame, how his lips move in sync with mine. He breaks the kiss, his mouth right beside my ear, his warm breath fanning across my cheeks. “I hate seeing you with him,” He murmurs lowly, making me gulp at his deep voice, arousal shooting up my body. “mhmm, why is that?” I ask coyly. “because you’re mine,” Drake snarls with a protective squeeze, making goosebumps rise on my arms. I lean back so we are face to face. He stares at me for a moment, his pupils blown. “prove it,” I whisper slowly. His gaze becomes determined and he deftly moves his hands to roughly grab just below my ass, hoisting me up. My legs wrap around him instinctively, biting my lip at the feeling of his hands digging into my thighs and the cool wall against my back.

His lips find mine once again, quickly and with purpose. I start kissing him back, a sound of surprise erupting from the back of my throat as I feel one of his hands move to the inside of my thigh, making my stomach flip. “Is this okay?” He breathes slowly and I gulp before nodding rapidly, my heart suddenly hammering with anticipation. He smirks and his fingers reach my core, making me gasp, heat flickering up my abdomen. I feel a rush of adrenaline shooting through my veins as I realize what’s happening. I groan as his fingers move expertly between my legs, making my toes curl in pleasure, the knot in my stomach growing. I squeeze my thighs around his waist to garner more friction, moaning at the feeling of his touch. “you like that princess?” He growls, his voice deep. I nod with a soft moan as I throw my head back, making Drake take the opportunity to kiss the sensitive skin under my jaw, the various sensations overwhelming my senses. His fingers start to move in tantalizing circles around my clit, making me whimper in pleasure, grinding down on his hand. I can barely keep still, overcome with the intoxicating feeling of being with Drake.

The knot builds and builds until my chest is heaving as Drake continues to touch me, and in a second, the knot comes undone and I chew my lip to stop myself from crying out as I finish, seeing stars. Drake gently helps me on my feet as I try to catch my breath, my knees weak. “I- wow,” I pant, earning a slight chuckle from Drake. For some reason, I feel embarrassed, but when I look up to see the way he is looking at me, all of the apprehension vanishes.

He gently raises my chin, gazing softly down at me. “I cherish you, more than he ever can” He murmurs, making me fall for him even more, something I didn’t imagine was possible. I smile back up at him, looking into his sincere eyes.

“I only have eyes for you Walker, you know that”

—-

end of part 2 :)

I hope you guys liked It! I’m sorry if the smut is bad, I haven’t written in so long and I’m still not very good at writing it haha! sorry again for how long this took

[jiminicus]

Take Me To The Ocean - PART II

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙸

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 : 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚢 🔮, 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 ⛓️, 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝙰𝚄

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 : 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 𝟼.𝟿𝚔

𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 : 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 : 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑, 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝙰𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝙲𝚛𝚞𝚎𝚕𝚝𝚢, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙱𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊.

In a small wooden house somewhere, or nowhere, lay the unconscious body of a young girl. Her hair scattered on the white sheets, she looked rather peaceful. The breeze played with the pearly white curtains, the air was easier to breathe down here.

In time unknown, the heavy eyes of the sleeping girl started rebelling against her dreamworld. Her vision still blurry, she could only determine the shapes and colors of objects. It was daytime. Rising up, she felt a sharp pain in her head.

“What happened?” She thought to herself.

Her vision clearing up, she could see the odd room she was placed in. The walls, the bed and all the furniture were made from white wood. Specks of brown and blue could be seen on some of the interior. The architecture of this room indicated it was far from the village she had grown in. She attempted to stand up, but her legs were still weak, and she fell back the soft sheets of the bed.

Falling, she noticed the large window placed above the headboard. The sky was clear, she noted. Taking a moment to breathe the air in, her heartbeat stopped for a second. She didn’t know if she was afraid or dying to peak outside the window. Lifting herself up, she saw what she thought she never would.

Before her, lay a golden sandy beach, and further down lay… the ocean.

She stood up using all her power and rubbed her eyes. “How did I get here?” Were her first thoughts. Fighting the unbearable headache, she tried to scan her last memories. She remembered being in the forest, she remembered being hunted and... Jimin, he had promised to take her to the sea. Was he the one that brought her here?

“How long has it been?” She wondered. She tried to think again. She had seen the moon and then... the kiss. She touched her lips, trying to bring the feeling back. It felt so serine kissing him, it felt like what she always longed for. She wanted to do it again.

“Where is Jimin?” She searched the house, but he was nowhere to be found. She got outside, feeling the sand touch her bare feet. Looking down, she no longer wore the heavy clothes traditionally worn in her village, a thin white dress was now covering her body, flowing freely with the ocean breeze.

She had to find Jimin. She looked around. The house seemed to be the only building around. Behind the house, there were some trees and rocks forming a tropical forest. He must have gone to the forest to get something, she thought. She walked towards the nearest trees screaming his name. Nothing. She didn’t dare go into the forest alone, remembering the last time she was in a forest.

Zale decided to wait for him to return. She turned towards the sea. It was beautiful, the air was warm, but not hot, the sand felt pleasant against her feet. Who would have known her first encounter with the sea would have been like this. She felt scared and lonely, she needed answers and at the same time, her heart was beating faster than ever, she was at the place she was meant to be.

She sat down near the shore. The waters were a crystal turquoise green. The coast extended further than the eye could see. On one end, the sandy beach mingled with some rocky boulders. Maybe this was all a dream. Spellbound by the view, she fell asleep with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

🔹

On a long rocky mountain road, an unusual traveler galloped on his horse. His journey was worth it. Energized by his recent meal, he was now searching for another unlucky soul to satisfy its longed desires. In this area, not many knew about the ocean, the girl he had found, was in a way, very special because of that. He loved to collect rare gems in his collection, and that exactly made him travel all the way to find her.

The sun was setting down, and his thoughts drafted to her. Maybe it was time to visit her. A small guest house was the perfect place to find some needed rest.

🔹

Zale was awakened by a beautiful melody. It had a gentle and captivating air, almost angel-like. She stood up and searched for the source of the sound. Nothing could be seen, but she felt like it was coming from the nearby boulders. She decided to follow it. She cautiously climbed the rock, but nothing was to be found there. She listened again. She needed to follow the rocky coast line. Stepping carefully on the rough terrain she continued her mission.

The sound kept getting louder and louder, as she approached the unknown singer. It had led her to a cave. All fear was now absent, she mindlessly entered the underground grotto. As she descended in the cave and the sound kept getting more and more clear, she saw a body of water, and then a person resting on one of the submerged rocks. At first, it was hard to see their face due to the minimal light that penetrated the subterranean area, but as she approached, a familiar face came into view.

“Jimin!” She chanted happily. However, as the distance shrank, she could very clearly see a fish tail instead of legs attached to his body.

“Jimin.” This time her tone was serious. “How?”

All this time he kept looking at her with loving eyes, continuing his song and letting his tail move freely in the water.

“Did you like the sea?” He said in gentle voice, ending his song.

“How did we get here? And how did you... you... have a tail.” She said confused.

“I always had a tail, dear. I told you, I am a sea creature.” He said ignoring the first question. “Can you guess what I am?” He said playfully.

She took a step towards him, she was now able to see him more clearly. His tail was pale silvery blue, the same as his now wet hair. The scales blended with his human skin seamlessly. His upper body was pale and gave a similar shine as his tail. He looked to be glowing even in this low light. He looked... divine.

“Are you a mermaid?”

“Of course she thinks I am a mermaid.” He thought smirking. He contemplated whether to lie about his identity. He decided not to, she had to learn anyways.

“No, I am more than that, my dear.”

“You are a siren!” She said letting a little gasp escape her lips. His smile gave it all. She had read that sirens lured the sailors with their alluring songs and made them wreck their ships on the rocks in order to feed on their souls.

“Are you going to kill me?” She said terrified. She tried to take a step back, but she couldn’t. His song seemed to have an effect on her. She could no longer escape.

Jimin on the other hand looked at his pray amused. Did she not already know she was dead? He questioned himself. He didn’t like to keep the guests for long in their little paradises, but this time, maybe he could play a little longer.

“No. I would never hurt you, Zale.” He said looking deeply into her eyes. “I just wanted us to enjoy the ocean together. “

“How did we get here?” Her mind was telling her not to trust him, but her heart seemed to believe his words. She was enchanted and she knew it, but the moment he asked her to take a seat by the water, she had complied without any reluctance.

“Do you remember the night in the forest?” She nodded. “You were attacked by an animal. You lost consciousness, and in order to save you, I took you into this world. You are in dreamland, my dear.”

“Dreamland?” She asked confused.

“This water, this beach, this world, is not real.“ He took her feet from the rock and moved them in the water. “Your soul can stay here while your body is still too weak to take its burden.” He said with fake comparison. He was used to lying to his victims, but even for him, giving hope to a person whose body is decaying somewhere in a forest was brutal. For the first time in a while, he felt guilty. His pride however, would never let him show it, he was already too deep into the lie.

The night passed quickly. The entranced girl and the dreamy boy talked about anything and everything. It felt calm and tranquil. Even if she knew she was under his influence, she did not want to leave. In a way... she trusted him. When the sun was about to rise in the real world, Jimin excused himself and swam outside the imaginary realm she was situated in, leaving behind a promise that he would come next night.

🔹

The following day, a sleepy girl had just woken up in her comfy bed. She didn’t want to get up, it was nice just laying around and doing nothing, but she needed to go downstairs and open the meeting room for guests. She slowly rose up. Opening her eyes fully, she realized that there was no meeting room here nor there were guests. She was in a dreamworld, all by herself and… a very dangerous creature.

Panic overtook her body as the memories from last night flooded her mind. She stood up quickly and searched for Jimin. Luckily, he was nowhere to be found. She remembered him swimming away last night and telling her to go back to the little house. She was now alone. She hated being alone, but she surely preferred it over being alone with a dangerous predator.

Did she really believe he was going to hurt her? She remembered him telling her that he had protected her from the wild animal and he was providing her with a safe place to rest. Could she trust him? What if it was all a trap? But he had shielded her that night in the forest right? But then again, if he was in fact benevolent then why did he lure her last night?  And despite this, he did not hurt her, to the contrary, she had felt at home with him. Her head started hurting. He was making her paranoid. She had to clear her thoughts.

As she was about to exit the house, her stomach reminded her of her hunger. She went back in and searched the place for some food. In one of the cupboards she found some bread and fruits. It was enough for the day, but she knew that it wouldn’t last her much longer. She had to either find food on the island or ask Jimin for it. She opted for the second option, she didn’t want to risk going to the forest alone.

After eating, she decided to look around the house. She had been walking barefoot for the past day and the long dress wasn’t something she was used to wearing. The house wasn’t big and it seemed like it wasn’t meant for long stays. She didn’t find any spare clothes or shoes. She had to ask Jimin for that too. She found a knife and cut the length of the dress so it reached till her mid calves. She then used the cut fabric to wrap her hair in a bun. She felt much more comfortable now.

The beach was pleasant as always. There were some waves, but they weren’t too big or threatening. She wanted to go inside. She felt her feet touch the wet sand first and then a wave came and washed over them. The water was colder than what she had expected. Nonetheless, it felt refreshing with the dazzling sun burning her skin. She took another step towards the sea, and then another one. Now the sea barely touched the ends of her dress. At this depth, she decided to take a seat.

Thoughts of Jimin came to her mind. She felt scared and unsure. The ocean breeze didn’t feel liberating, as she had imagined it to, it fled her mind with worry and uncertainty. Could she trust him?

The sun began to set over the horizon. The sky was colored orange and pink, casting its colors into the water’s surface. It reminded her of the golden fish in the water barrel. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe she had to enjoy this fake mirage till he could take her to the real sea, till she returns to the real world.

She looked into the void of the ocean until the sun no longer shined. The moon took its place over the endless ocean. She didn’t feel sleepy at all, on the contrary, the moon glow made her even more awake.

A decorated metal lantern was set behind to her on the sand. Soon after she felt hands on her shoulders.

“You did like my sea after all.” He said seating on the shore.

“It’s beautiful.” Was all she could mutter. “The moon. It’s full moon, like the day in the forest.” She said, not bothering to look at him.

“It’s the same moon, in fact.” He said truthfully. “We are still in that magic hour.”

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue his explanation. His next words never came. He just stared at the moon.

“I am hungry.” She said after a few minutes in silence.

This place wasn’t meant to host people for long. He reminded himself. “Let’s catch something to eat then.” He said lifting himself from the sand.

“I am not going to the forest again.” She said looking up at him.

“Who said we are going to the forest? Look ahead.” He said motioning towards the sea. “Come on, follow me.”

She stood up. The coldness of the night immediately hit her wet skin. She had forgotten she was sitting in the water. “I need to change clothes.” She gestured towards her now wet dress.

He looked at her wet figure. He didn’t have any spare clothes. Nobody stayed here for more than a day. He wasn’t very hospitable to say it frankly.

“Let’s go inside the house. We will figure something.”

Entering the house, he searched for some sort of fabric for her to wear. “Damn it. Next time I should add at least some clothes.” He said under his breath. In his quest, he found the old fishing net he had used a long time ago. “This will help.” He said handing it to the girl.

“You want me to wear the fishing net?” She said giving him a questionable look.

“No, this is for the fishing part.” He smiled, amused at her silly question. He then turned around and untucked his shirt.

“What are you doing?” She asked as he started unbuttoning it.

“Here, take this.” He said giving it to her.

“What? Isn’t there anything else?” She looked around the room.

“Well if you don’t wanna dress in a curtain.” He said jokingly. At first she was reluctant to take his shirt but then she looked at the net in her hands and the soaked dress she was wearing.

“Turn around.” She said snatching it from his hands.

They were now walking on the sandy beach. He had promised to take her to a boat that they could use to fish. He walked in front of her, holding her hand. She looked at the bare skin of his upper body. It gave a silvery glow under the moonlight, it reminded her of the previous night when he was in the water. If he could swim, then why did he need a boat?

Soon after, a dock and a boat appeared on the beach.

“Jimin, I can’t swim.” She said looking at him with worried eyes.

“Don’t worry, I can.” He said climbing the wooden dock. The boat was small and it could barely withstand their weights. Nonetheless, he helped her get in and seat on one side. The rope that was keeping it still, was soon untied and with the help of Jimin’s paddling, they started floating in the depths.

The voyage in the waters was quiet. Zale enjoyed the first time she sailed. At times she let her hand down to touch the surface of the sea, the water looked and felt different in lowlight, melancholic was the word if she had to describe it. When they arrived at a good depth, he stopped paddling and threw the net into the sea.

“Now we wait.” He said finally turning towards her.

In a few awkward seconds, she decided to break the silence. “How am I doing in the real world?” She didn't dare meet his eyes.

“You want to go back?” He answered with a question.

“It’s lonely here.” As much as she enjoyed the ocean view and her time with him, she missed being surrounded by people and talking with strangers. As much as she wanted to break free from her isolated village, she couldn’t deny that her heart truly belonged there. The ocean was just a fantasy, a dream, she never thought she would accomplish… And at this moment, she wished she had not accomplished. She wanted to go back home.

He looked at her remaining silent. Maybe keeping her here was selfish. She wouldn’t want to spend time with him if she knew what he had done to her.

He pulled the net out of the water. There wasn’t a lot of fish at this time of the day, only two were caught in it.

“It’s not a lot, but you will survive the day.” He said trying to lighten the mood.

“Don’t you feel bad killing it? Aren’t you one of them… kind of?”

“No.” He answered simply. He took a short break, trying to sort his next words. “It’s nature, you kill or be killed.”

“That’s a cruel way to live.” She watched the fish struggle on the wooden floor of the boat.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He began paddling towards the shore. “If you don’t eat for a few days, your body will become weak. You will have no energy, you won’t be able to walk, soon, you won’t even have the will to walk.” He talked from experience. “And eventually, you will die.” He stopped all motion and looked directly into her eyes. “It is a cruel way to live. But it’s either kill or die.” He took out a small pocket knife and handed it to her. “End its suffering.”

She looked at the metal blade he held. Her stomach was starting to hurt, she needed the food, but her mind couldn’t just let her kill the fish. She wasn’t a killer, but he was right, if she didn’t do it, she will die. She took the knife.

Jimin watched her take the flapping fish with her trembling hands. In a second, her hands were covered in blood. She immediately dropped both the fish and the knife and looked into the eyes of the siren before her. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. Her eyes were overtaken by guilt.

Jimin just stared back emotionless. To him, the blood on dripping from her fingertips justified his own actions to her. She had done the same. She was no longer innocent.

🔹

That same fish was now cooked over the beach fire they had lit. Although the blood was long washed away, Zale kept feeling it on her hands. She was a killer.

Seeing her visible discomfort Jimin spoke. “You did the right thing.” He reassured. “It’s normal, the first time always hunts you the longest.”

“I won’t do it again.” She said, looking at the burnt scales of the fish.

“Well… Then I would advise you to slim your food consumption. These two fishes won’t last you for more than a day.”

He took one of them off the fire when he thought it was ready and chopped a piece, handing it to her. She took a small bite. It didn’t taste bad at all, but the guilt in her stomach didn’t let her enjoy the taste. It was just a bite of food, so she doesn’t die, she tried to make herself feel better with that thought.

Jimin left after she had finished her meal. He took her to her bed and tucked her in, leaving a sweet kiss on her forehead. She wished, she didn't eat that night.

🔹

He now traveled the mountains on the back of his horse. He was moving fast. It wasn’t long after he sensed something. A free spirit was present, from what he could feel, it was less than two days away. He headed towards his next target.

🔹

Zale woke up in the same little house, in the same white bed. She looked outside the window. No feelings were present this time. No excitement, no fear, no thrill. A state of apathy had taken over her. She washed herself and wore Jimin’s shirt.

Her mind was a mess, but she didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. She didn’t really care. The second fish was waiting on the table for her, but she didn’t feel hungry.

Exiting the little house, she headed to the forest this time. At least the trees could keep her company, she thought. She didn’t go too deep, just enough for her to feel surrounded by something. The abundant bushes and trees were a big contrast to the vastness of the sea. For some reason, it felt safer, as if nature was embracing and empathizing with her.

Tears began rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t know why, and it didn’t matter at this moment. She had been feeling lonely for the past days. Jimin was the only person around, and even then, she didn’t know if she could trust him. For all she knew, he was very deadly and could attack her at any time. She didn’t know why he was protecting her, if he was even protecting her. Why was he sweet and kind to her? Why did he kiss her that night? He was hiding something, but she was too afraid to ask.

Yesterday's memories came to her mind. The tears now on her hands felt like blood. “You either kill or die.” He said. But she didn’t want to kill anymore. She didn’t want to live killing. She couldn’t get his insensitive eyes out of her mind. He looked proud and satisfied with her actions. Maybe he was a beast, after all. She felt like the fish flapping hopelessly on the wooden floor of the boat. Maybe he was already holding the knife ready to kill her.

The tears dried on her cheeks only when her eyes closed and she lost consciousness from exhaustion.

🔹

Jimin had just fallen asleep and moved to dreamland to visit his guest. He searched for her in the house and around the beach, but she was nowhere to be found. He looked for her in the underground cave, she wasn’t there either. He started to worry. Was yesterday’s meeting too much for her?

He headed to the forest and tried to look for her. It wasn’t long after that he found her asleep under a tree. He noticed the dried tears on her face. Was she that unhappy? He sat next to her on the grass and moved the hair away from her face. He had to admit to himself that he liked her company, but he didn’t want to see her struggle in this world. Furthermore, he had to feed himself too. If he were to kill his next target, he knew they would come here. Even if he was powerful enough to keep two souls in this dreamworld, he had to kill one of them sooner or later.

He was getting attached to her and this wasn’t any good. He had to let her go. Nobody wanted to be with him anyway when they learned what he was and what he did to people. The terrified expression she had when she first learned about his identity came to his mind.

“Even if I were to keep you here for longer, you will still hate me.”

He petted her head. His gentle touches brought Zale back to reality. She slowly opened her eyes.

“Jimin.” He could see the pain in her eyes. He wanted to make her happy even if it was the last night they spend together.

“I am sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have made you do it.” He said, not letting his hands away from her.

“It’s okay. It’s for survival, isn’t it?” She said looking weakly at him.

“Hmm. What do you want to do tonight? Didn’t you always want to be here?”

“I want to go home.” Her words broke his heart. She was miserable.

“You wanted to swim right? Let me teach you how to swim.” He said with hopeful eyes.

She thought about his offer for a second. All this time she was either under a spell or was lonely and sad. Maybe this was her chance to have some fun. Maybe if she learned to swim, she would be able to enjoy her time here.

“Promise me you won’t leave me alone in the middle of the sea.”

“Never.” He said getting up and offering his hand.

They went to the seashore and took off their clothes, staying only in their undergarments. The water was pleasantly cool. He took her hand and guided her inwards. She was stepping carefully in the water since there were small rocks where the waters were still shallow. Once the water reached up to her tummy, she began stepping on her tiptoes as the cold water touched the sensitive area.

“Aren’t you cold?” She said as he was continuing to go even deeper.

He turned around and looked at her with amusement. “The open sea is was colder.” He said and he suddenly splashed water in her direction. He kept splashing her till she was fully wet. She decided to do the same. Both were splashing water at each other’s direction while laughing and screaming.

In an instant, Jimin stopped splashing. She cautiously opened her eyes, afraid not to get splashed with the salty water in her eyes. He was gone. Just as she was about to call his name, somebody gripped her left food and lifted it, making her rotate in the opposite direction. She fell backward, but because of the shallow depth, she quickly regained balance on her feet.

“That’s not fair.” She said while he was laughing.

“Who said we were playing fair?” He said with a cheeky tone.

“You promised to teach me to swim.” She complained with a pout.

He mimicked her pout teasingly. She had never seen this dorky side of him until now. He took her hand again and dragged her deeper. When the water began touching the hem of her bra she started worrying.

“I think we are deep enough.” She said holding tightly onto his hand.

“Ok then.” He let go of her hand. “You know your body is lighter than the water, so if you were to just relax, you would still float.” He leaned back and just laid in the water like it was nothing.

“You can breathe and talk while being like this, it’s not hard at all.” He lifted himself up and stood in front of her.

“It’s easy to say when you are part fish.”

“C’mon, I’ll help you.” He took position on her side. “Imagine there is a bed under you, just slowly lift your legs and lay down. I’ll hold you if you were to sink.” He put his hand under her waist for support as she was lifting her legs.

She was too stiff and couldn’t let both her legs to float, ending up lifting only one. Her spine was curved, trying to keep her head over the water but sinking her stomach. Jimin pushed her lower back, trying to fix her position, but the sudden motion disturbed her balance and she stood back up.

“Honestly, you should have seen yourself.” He said giggling. “You can never float like that.” He imitated her position in the water showing her how weird she looked. “You must let your head fall back, like when you are laying on a flat surface and lift your stomach.” He said correcting his position and showing her how easy it was.

He got up and picked her bridal style. “What are you doing?” She complained, wrapping her hands around his neck.

“Don’t hold onto me. Let your hands fall freely.” He told her and she did exactly that, looking up at him. “Now, I will slowly lower you into the water and I want you to stretch your body, okay?” She nodded.

He gently placed her in the water and she began stretching out her legs. When he felt that her lower body was submerged and floating, he moved his hands to her upper and lower back respectively. “Now, I want you to let your head fall back. I promise to lift you if water gets into your eyes or nose.” He lowered her a bit more and she extended her spine till her head was touching the water. “Now, just bring your tummy up. The water should cover your ears.” He said pushing under her waist. She was now laying completely flat on the water’s surface. “That’s it. I will remove my hands now. Don’t worry, you will float if you stay like that.” He said gently, letting her float alone, but still being cautious, in case she panics.

She couldn’t believe she was floating by herself. She relaxed herself completely. He was right, it was like laying on a bed. She closed her eyes, feeling the waves bring her up and down. For the first time during these days, she felt exactly like she thought she would. She felt free.

“You okay?” He said, bringing her out of her thoughts. The sound of his voice startled her and she got back up. “Yeah, I am alright. It just felt… nice.” She said looking at the glowing boy.

They kept playing in the water for hours. She had learned to float by herself. As she enjoyed her newly learned skill, Jimin dragged her across the ocean. He even taught her how to swim on her back. They laughed and played together in the now black sea, under the moonlight.

At one moment when they got exhausted from all the swimming and playing around, Jimin spoke. “Is it okay if he got a little deeper so I can use my tail?”

She looked at him with uncertainty, sure, she now knew some basic swimming, but she was still afraid not being able to step on the sand when she needed to.

“I want to show you something.” He said coming closer and taking her hands in his. “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” He placed a kiss on her knuckles.

“Okay.” She nodded.

They went a little deeper, now the water reached up to her chin. He instructed her to wait there until he returned. He swam away into the depths. After a few seconds of him not coming back, she began to worry. The waves made her step onto her tiptoes. As she was about to turn around, she felt strong hands wrap around her.

“You can’t escape from me.” He said hugging her with a smile. At this distance, she could see his blue eyes more clearly. When he wasn’t in his human form, they glowed with little sparkles and stars. It was easy to get lost.

“Hold onto me, baby. I will show you something.” She held onto his shoulders and he brought her legs around his waist. She was now wrapped around him like a backpack.

“I will swim underwater, so you should hold your breath and close your eyes. I will come to the surface when you need to breathe, okay?”

She took a deep breath and they were now swimming in the cold waters. She could feel him taking them up and down, as she needed to breathe every once in a while. The ride wasn’t long, but she was sure it would have taken much longer if they were to swim in their human form.

In a few short minutes, he ascended up for the last time. “We are here.” He said pushing her legs off his waist. Still holding onto his shoulders, she opened her eyes. They were under some rocks in what appeared to be a partially underwater cave. She could hear her heavy breathing very loudly. There were long crevices on one of the walls that allowed the moonlight to shine inside, creating a beautiful effect in the water.

Jimin turned around to face the astounded girl. She stretched her legs, but she couldn’t feel the ground underneath, so she kept holding onto him, practically hugging him. He wrapped his hands around her too.

“How do you feel?” He asked while looking at her. She could feel his breath on her skin.

“Exhausted.” She said even though he was the one that did all the job.

“No, I mean… about today.” He said hesitantly, afraid of her answer.

“Today was… great. It was what I always wanted to do. Thank you.” She said sincerely.

“No, thank you.” He said and he connected their lips. It was different from last time, yet so similar. This time, it wasn’t a random kiss, they both felt something at that moment. They had grown close. She remembered all the fear and excitement, the tears and the smiles. He had made her feel so much during these past days, but none of it mattered at this moment, she just wanted him close.

On the other hand, Jimin just wanted to feel her lips one last time, one last time before the final farewell. He wanted to keep her happy in his memories. She was one of the few that was not afraid of him, even after she knew his identity. She looked at him with soft and loving eyes, she trusted him, even in the water, even with his tail. It was the first time he had felt accepted. It might have been selfish, but he wanted to keep that accepting figure forever like that. He couldn’t bear to see the fear in her eyes again.

“I am sorry.” He said breaking the kiss. She looked into his eyes with confusion. He placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll miss you, baby.” A tear rolled on his cheek. He connected their lips again before she could notice it. The kiss lasted long, as more tears kept rolling down his cheeks. He pushed her body backward until she was laying in the water. She soon felt the water engulf her ears. He kept pushing as the water now reached her mouth and began filling it in between their lips. When she realized what was happening, it was already too late, her whole face was now underwater. She began fighting for air as she was being dragged down in the depths. The kiss never stopped, he held her close as the last air bubbles escaped her lips and her body gave up on its efforts to survive. That last moment of hope, he opened his eyes and saw her eyelids fall down heavy, an image he was not going to forget. Their lips parted in a moment of hesitation. It was already too late.

“I am sorry.”

[bettsfic]

Hey! I was just wondering if you would soapbox a little about your creative process. I absolutely adore your writing advice but was wondering a bit more about how your ideas form and how you choose which to pursue and do finished products look like you want them to? What's a bad habit you're trying to break? No obligation to answer, especially cause an anon is like tell me your secrets! But thank you for all you've written, you are so helpful and kind

thanks for the great question anon! i wrote a bit about my drafting process here but that doesn’t encompass the idea building side of things (also i’ve made some changes to the process so i was thinking about writing a more cohesive, updated version at some point).

i tend to think of project ideas as piles of aesthetic, and usually i only begin writing once the pile has toppled over and i can’t not write it. that’ll make more sense in a moment. 

i’ll walk through 2 examples of my idea generating process, from how they started to where they are now. 

1. Vandal

Vandal is a novel i’m working on that i really have a lot of hope for. i’m about 60k words in right now and 75% finished. it’s about a teenage girl (sierra) who casts a spell on her hot, helpful neighbor (frank) to bind them together. the spell ends up working but backfiring when he becomes her foster father. then, in his custody, sierra gets jealous and casts a spell on his girlfriend (jenny) to break them up, but that backfires too: sierra gets taken out of frank’s custody and placed with a manipulative and abusive foster brother (leo). frank more or less kidnaps sierra and they have to Run From The Law. throughout the novel, sierra is inwardly battling Vandal, an immortal archangel that has possessed her and is trying to get her to kill herself so he can break free of the prison of her body.  

the idea for that story has a looooong breadcrumb trail and a huge aesthetic pile. since i couldn’t manage to get Baby traditionally published, i had a lot of that dynamic i could adopt into something else. i wrote at length about where that idea came from but i can no longer find that post (UPDATE: here it is). it’s somewhere in my training wheels tag. in short, i spent an entire summer watching/reading age gap stories and the male perspective in them bothered me a lot, so i wanted to write a story from the younger party’s perspective, and do the reality of those situations justice. i wrote that story, though, so i didn’t want to rewrite it. 

then, in december 2019, for reasons i don’t remember, i started reading snape/hermione fics. i really liked the dynamic, but it was a little too angsty for me, and none of the fics gave me the catharsis i was looking for, which was basically Grouchy Soft Boy Takes Care Of PTSD Weary Girl. being unable to find anything that fit the exact no-conflict, angstless dynamic i was looking for, i decided to write it myself using an A/B/O reylo idea i’d been kicking around for about 8 months but i could never land on, because i didn’t know if i wanted ben or ren. that fic turned out to be Reclaimed.  

to answer one of your questions, Reclaimed didn’t turn out the way i wanted it to at all, and i’m still kind of shocked by the traffic it has. i felt bad about writing it, because i was setting down so many other things to work on it, and it was a struggle from start to finish. at the time (and this is a major theme of my process), i thought it was a waste of energy.

but it opened a very important thematic concept to me, which is the idea of voicelessness and trauma, and recovery through finding one’s voice.

fast-forward to february, i’m headcanoning with @star-sky-earth just days before i have to head to nebraska for a writing residency. she and i are talking about a certain male celebrity who shall not be named, flirting with his younger female costar who shall not be named, and i said something along the lines of, “wouldn’t it suck to get a crush on a dude like him, only to find out he likes you back, and then you realize he’s actually kind of shallow and boring?”

i remember distinctly saying, out loud, “god fucking dammit,” because, right then, an aesthetic pile had toppled over, and an entire novel unfolded itself in my brain. i pound out an outline. it’s garbage. i play around with a vocal gauge. it’s not quite right. then, two days later, i write an opening scene that i don’t think is great but i send it to some people and they’re like, oh this is fire. 

the aesthetic pile looks like this:

lolita, where dolores is the one in control

delusions of grandeur born from a major traumatic event

obsessions with fairy tales and the escapism they provide

the consequences of extreme neglect

forced voicelessness as both a theme and a major structural constraint

a lot of wolf imagery

non-chronological timelines

i proceed to spend the next two days driving across the country brain-writing. by the time i reach nebraska, i hit the ground running, and write for basically 30-40 hours a week for 5 weeks. then, because pandemic, i decide to stay 2 more weeks, but i hit a snag. i write about 14k of really boring drivel and realize my outline has failed me. i toss the 14k and re-outline and try again. then, my attention is rattled by a crush on a composer who has no interest in me. 

i go home and fall into my annual summer depression and i lose focus. so, that’s where i’m at. i really miss vandal but it’s gotten super dark and i’m finding it difficult to manage darkness with everything going on. which brings me to my next aesthetic pile that has recently toppled over.

2. Eden

that’s not the title but it’s the project name. i’ve begun writing a YA sci fi comedy with an ensemble cast. this aesthetic pile took years to build before it toppled. it started with Elixir of Erised, hands down the best fic i’ve ever written by a huge margin. i reread it this past winter and was kind of amazed i’d written it. 

i really liked the idea of a potion showing you your deepest desires, but until recently have not had the patience to build an entire world around it. so, for the past 3.5 years, i’ve kept a document of “if i WERE to a YA SFF book with the themes of EOE, what would i want to include?” over those 3.5 years, here’s what the list became:

dark academia vibes

heist plot

soulmates

that list is not really conducive to an entire universe, and i never had the motivation to sit down and think through it. 

then i watched breaking bad, and a lot of things started clicking. at the same time, i was talking to my buddy kyle about my fallen knight archetype schematic, and i began fleshing out all the archetypes that went with it. i came up with 12. i built a database. i thought, wouldn’t it be cool to write something with ALL 12 ARCHETYPES?? haha but who would be dumb enough to do that?

me. i would. 

with breaking bad as the missing plot piece (which introduces the idea of conflict around the MANUFACTURE and DISTRIBUTION of addictive substances, with an ensemble cast of morally grey characters, which leads to a war), i had enough to get started. 

i wrote an outline. i wrote another outline. i wrote a third outline. i stopped to write some histories of this place i’d built. i wrote a fourth outline. gdocs became a mess so i downloaded scrivener and taught myself how to use it. i wrote a gauge of the first chapter and landed the voice on the first try. then i did a rough sketch of how a trilogy would go. then i outlined each book in the trilogy to make sure my character trajectories were on point. then i did a lot more worldbuilding. now i’m working on my fifth outline, which breaks the entire novel down scene by scene. 

and for Reasons, i’m tasking myself with writing the first draft in 6 days across two weekends. it’s a high-stakes adventure story with a very tight timeline, so i think it’s conducive to being written quickly.

which brings me to another question you asked, which is, what bad habits do i want to break? i always, always slow down at the halfway mark. sometimes i even give up. i have no idea why. no matter how much preparation i do, no matter how solid my endgame is, at the halfway mark i either slow to a crawl or set the whole project down and pick up something new. i do this with reading books, too. i can only ever read the first half of books. then i either skip to the end or put them down forever. it’s definitely something i have to figure out because at this rate i’ll never finish anything.

okay this took way longer than i thought it would to write but i hope it answers your question. tl;dr i follow aesthetic and thematic interests until they lead me to a point where i can’t not write the stories that develop from them. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #355

“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.

[daraanna]

Your name

Coming out of Hokage tower, she did not expect to see Boruto. He stood leaning against the pillar waiting for her.

"Hey," he approached her with a wide smile.

"Hey," she answered and smile back, but she was still surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking you for a walk," At this moment she noticed that he was dressed in a civilian outfit, light pink shirt, black jeans and jacked. It looked casual and elegant at same time. Although her day at work was quite busy, she nodded and followed him.

"I hope my father doesn't give you all his paperwork. Maybe you are the candidate for his successor, but it's still his duties " he sighed as they passed streets of the village.

"It's not that bad, and I think I can handle these documents better than he does," she said, giggling slightly.

They walked slowly along the sidewalk, through crowd of civilians returning home from day at work. After some time, she realized that they were going towards the training fields. Rather, none of them were dressed for the sparring, but at this time of day grounds should be empty. There will certainly be less people there than in the park. Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of his hand gently brushing against hers. A delicate blush appeared on her cheeks. It seemed embarrassing to her that after 3 years of relationship, she always reacted this way. Being in the crowd of people she always felt embarrassed to show feelings. It seemed terribly unnatural to her. Boruto was exactly opposite, but he respected her space, for which she was grateful. Although there were also moments when both of them get lost in emotions and forget the whole world around them ... 

They went  through green areas marred by craters, burnt plants or other remnants of shinobi training. As she expected, so far they have seen only two genins. Despite this, the blond continued to lead her towards the area belonging to her family. A training field where once stood Uchiha compound. At least, this part which wasn’t given for other village investments. As they walked, they reached a stone tablet with an engraved text that only few were able to read.

She felt that Boruto grab her hand. She smiled slightly and gently squeezed his. They stood there for a moment in complete silence. The blond man was acting strange, a bit nervously. His hands were sweaty, she even could feel his pulse. Looking at his behaviour, she would think that he wants to propose. The problem was that they had been engaged for half a year ... She couldn't think of what would made him this nervous.

"Maybe we'll sit down" he said pointing to a place under the nearest tree.

"Okay" she replied, doing what he told. They sat on the grass facing each other, but Uzumaki still did not release her hand holding her between his.

"Boruto ... What's going on?" She asked, unable to hold on longer, was something wrong?

The blond shuddered a little, as if she woke him from a trance.

“I ... I've talked to my parents about it ... And I wanted to ... I wanted to ask you... I would like to take your surname after marriage ...” It was something she didn't expect. To be honest, she hasn't thought about it so far. She remembered that when she was little she was annoyed by the fact that traditionally the girl is the one who takes her husband's name. But now, from the perspective of spending all her life with the person she love, it didn't seem so important to her. " I mean ... I thought that considering everything that happened and history of your family. I would like ... I would like you to become Hokage as Uchiha.”

She looked at him for a long moment. She didn't know what to say. She remembered the day her dad told her the whole truth about her clan history. It was one of the most difficult moments in her life. After such a thing, she was not able to look at the leaf village in the same way, there was a moment when she wanted to give up her dream of becoming a Hokage, and even drop shinobi carrier. Now she wanted to become a leader who would be able to protect all the inhabitants of the village, including those who would disagree with her views. To do everything she could to that tragedy like this never happen again. She felt tears appeared in her eyes. Seeing this Boruto embraced her face with his hands and gently pulled her to him.

“Sarada?”

"T-thank you," she cried, leaning on him “ It’s mean so much ...”

Not wanting him to see her tears, she put her arms around his waist and buried her face in his torso.

"I know," he replied, stroking her hair. They sat so cuddled up for a moment before she heard his laughter.

“What is so funny?”

"Nothing ... You just reacted more emotionally to this than to my proposal, it hurts ..." he sighed, making a dramatic pose.

"You mean when I asked you to marry me?" She smirked.

“I remember it different ...” The blond man embraced her around waist and pulled her on his lap. “I started to ask a question exactly 1.5 seconds before you...  And unlike you I planned to propose that day...”

She leaned closer, embracing him and gently tangled her hands in his hair.

“You say like I could married anyone else ...”

They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, and the distance between them was getting shorter.

“Thank you for everything...”

“I love you too” said Uzumaki, making her blush. After being together for so long, she still couldn't understand how he was able to talk about something as important as love so easily. Reminding her of his feelings towards her whenever she needed it. The problem always appeared when she wanted to answer, for some reason she could never find the right words. So she kissed him. It was a slight touch of lips, much different from the hot kisses that they used to share nowadays, but still filled with the same emotions and need. It wasn't long before her fiancé deepened the kiss, gently embracing her face and stroking her cheek. They separated, and Sarada press forehead against his, once again looking at these beautiful blue eyes, expressing so many feelings at that moment.

“I ... I love you” she whispered softly, but she seen in his eyes that he heard her, that he really knew it “And I will... Always ...”

..............................................

Soooo I thought a lot of that it would be cute if Boruto take Uchiha name after their marriage. (although I think that they would be equal cute as Uzumaki)   

I hope you like this short story, happy BoruSara week everyone <3 

[soulvomit]

I have thoughts about this [the decline of anti-codependency/anti-neediness culture] relating to the deflation of the middle class, but it’s probably complicated.

OK, so... to expand upon this...  Basically... one of the problems in 80s/90s anti-codependency/anti-neediness culture, is how little it already took into account the *actual material, lived realities* of anyone other than upper middle class women. This wasn’t necessarily always the case (for about five minutes in the beginning, there were all these attempts to address this problem), but somehow after the mid 70s, it slowly deteriorated into white yuppie neoliberal cultural posturing the way that lots of other things did.  It’s easy to say “don’t be needy” when by “needy” we just mean lonely, as opposed to actually *materially/structurally requiring anything* and having anything that actually traps you in your situation *for structural reasons.*

Telling a woman who can’t afford child care that she’s just staying with her  spouse because she’s codependent, isn’t exactly helpful. Same with telling someone who’s desperate to partner up but they’re also living on couches or going through roommate drama. 

Anti-codependency/anti-neediness got weaponized against women whose lives didn’t seem absolutely seamless, and who didn’t have the luxury of prioritizing their own aspirationalist goals.  Actual support groups were one thing - because Women Who Love Too Much arose out of the 70s empowerment/independence movement, and Codependents Anonymous was still pretty close to its recovery roots. But you know how Tumblr takes an idea that’s good from the outset and just dumbs it down into meaninglessness? Like the term “trigger,” for example?

By the 1990s, a non-codependent, non-needy woman was someone who didn’t actually require anything, whose life appeared seamless (in ways it can only appear if you have helpers behind the scenes).  Anti-codependency/anti-neediness were probably so appealing because 1) it was easy to dress them up as feminism and 2) they were remarkably compatible with the unwritten rules of male-dominated and professional work cultures (because they were already the rules of professional *men.*) You’re not supposed to ever give away that you face any gendered structural difficulties such as child care, elder care, etc., or have any gendered responsibilities, EVER.  If it’s a problem that an upper class person would hire away or that a heterosexual man would delegate to women, then you need to make it absolutely invisible. This isn’t your dates’ problem, it’s not your friends’ problem, it’s especially not your boss’s problem. That’s how gendered social and cultural obligations were treated. The big unwritten rule was this: you must make your life appear as drama-free and seamless as white Boomer men’s lives appeared to be. And there are absolutely *no excuses allowed* because material, lived realities Just Don’t Exist! Instead... it’s all in your head! You’re CODEPENDENT. You’re NEEDY. The reason you stay with that abusive husband is because you’re an existential void (who makes this stuff up, the abusers themselves?) who needs to join a self-help cult, the reason you depend upon relationships is because you’re emotionally broken somehow. It couldn’t POSSIBLY be because you can’t rely on roommates and can’t move back home/have no access to child care/he’s financially controlling and you have no other options/he’ll find you and kill you if you leave! The fact that you take care of other people (such as a disabled spouse or an aging parent) is because you’re CODEPENDENT, not because your family or social structure are POOR. The reason you have to go with your parent or partner to all of their appointments couldn’t be because they are dealing with marginalization and you have to advocate them, it MUST be because you're an enabler!  Basically, lots of supposed neediness and codependency was actually upper middle class befuddlement at the shape of poorer people’s lives, especially as relates to the gendered role of caregiving. 

And as the middle class shrunk more and more, the space between the real world and the “ideal reality” proposed by workshops and therapists and coaches and self-help cults, actually began to look like hot air. It increasingly had nothing to do with the “actual lived reality” faced by many actual people.  I still feel like I see some of this thought but it’s mostly in very, very specific spaces: such as “Lean In.” There is only so long you can run away from dealing with actual structural issues. These books and this psychology were largely marketed at Boomers, too. They didn’t speak to the social and economic realities that Gen X and younger increasingly had to deal with.

At that point, many of the books and guides became increasingly impractical and started to pivot to actual woo-woo and magical thinking: The Secret, etc. And the markets for specifically gendered advice started to be more and more traditionally based, so that stuff like Laura Doyle’s “The Surrendered Wife” started competing for bookshelf space in the self-help section. Lots of women decided that educated upper middle class women’s ideas about how to be “empowered” had nothing to do with the actual shape of their lives, and the new neo-traditionalist minded books spoke much more to that. This same dynamic is also a factor in how so many formerly feminist women went right wing, aside from white women just prioritizing their race. Also, real anti-codependency and real anti-neediness - as opposed to merely privilege - take ACTUAL WORK AND INTROSPECTION, and the market for self-help cults, mainstream books, and workshops is always about magic bullets.