arkhamarcle

[arkhamarcle]

fuck y'all!!!!!

[arkhamarcle]

RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

[arkhamarcle]

[arkhamarcle]

talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.

[arkhamarcle]

[arkhamarcle]

theyrye putting chemicals in your food that make you moan like a girl btw

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[arkhamarcle]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[arkhamarcle]

[arkhamarcle]

Absolutely losing my mind over this text I got from a client today

[arkhamarcle]

Cursed Chat

🎨 Art by me (@isaangie-art)!

PS: Adrien here doesn't know he's a senti nor about his father being a villain yet

(Sorry for any mistake since english isn't my native language 😅 ... let me know in the comments if smth needs to be fixed!)

La version en español acá:

[arkhamarcle]

big fan of when some edgelord isolates himself from the world hiding in his menacing magical castle, only for his future love interest to ram down the doors like YO BITCH! i live here now

[arkhamarcle]

His little pony...

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[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

[arkhamarcle]

He needs a napkin

[arkhamarcle]

are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft

[arkhamarcle]

I love cats, and all the ways they say "I want us to be family!"

I love when they learn about affectionate human behaviours and start incorporating them into their own behaviours, such as nose boops and forehead kisses when you're getting ready for bed, or trying to share blankets. And I love that a well socialized cat will even actively make eye contact with you in a genuinely friendly way for a little bit before a slow blink.

Breaks my heart that so many generations of humans were falsely taught that cats hate us and want only to take advantage of us, when the truth is that they love us just as we love them. And they mirror our affection and love back to us so we might understand that the love goes both ways. And they do this without us telling them to do it or showing them how... because they love us so much they pay attention to how we love, how we share kindness and compassion.