#and when talking about moving back they suddenly only wanted to talk in person
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outsideratheart · 1 day ago
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Blind To The Signs (Leah Williamson x reader)
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A/N: Fun fact, I started this in 2022 and a line in the Gavin & Stacey finale inspired me to finished it.
You were sure that Leah Williamson was the person for you but the timing never seemed right. You had met her at the Arsenal academy when you were 13 years old and since then you were inseparable but the line between friends and something more never got crossed.
There was one night when you almost kissed. It was after the world cup in Paris, you were heartbroken having felt like you let the team down and Leah refused to leave your side. It was how you found yourself walking the streets of the French capital in comfortable silence with your best friend. It was your first time visiting the city and after a few days you realised why it was called the city of love. You wouldn’t be able to say for sure what it was but there was something in the air, something that made you want to be in love, to be in Paris with the woman you love. When you and Leah stopped at bench overlooking the river Seine you realised that you were. With your mind free of football it allowed your heart to tell you how you truly felt about your best friend.
The bench was small, in fact in barely held the two of you. Leah was sitting close to you and when she turned to talk to you she was inches away from you. In that moment you knew your mind was consumed by one thought, you wanted to kiss her. You leaned in but then ducked to the side at the last minute. You covered your true intention by saying that Leah had an eye lash on her cheek, this of course was a lie.
It did get you thinking though. If you were to have gone through with it, would she have kissed you back? Was she having the same thoughts as you? These questions freaked you out. How could you be thinking about Leah in this way, you had been friends for what felt like forever, this couldn’t happen. 
That was the last night you allowed yourself to see Leah in this light. 
A couple of months later Leah had told you that she starting dating Jordan and it was enough for you to know that Leah had your heart whilst Jordan had hers.
As time went on more people learned about your feelings for Leah. You never denied them but you refused to confess. There was too much on the line and you wouldn’t let your friendship be ruined should Leah not feel the same way. 
Then Jordan and Leah broke up leading your best friend to move in with you. Even though you didn’t think it possible, the two of you got closer. You would spend your nights cuddled up on the sofa watching whatever caught your fancy on the TV but your attention very rarely stayed on the screen for the blonde next to you had your attention. This caused the feelings you buried to soon come rising to the surface only they were stronger than before. 
You knew you were tormenting yourself with the what ifs so you told yourself that when you went back to London after Christmas break that you would tell her how you feel. Only thing is Leah never came home, she only texted you saying she would meet you at training and that she had something she wanted to talk to you about. Your stomach filled with butterflies at her response.
The next day you arrived at training earlier than usual. When you see Leah your body pulls you towards her. The hope in your heart soon fades when Jordan appears by her side, your gaze lowering when she reaches for Leah’s hand.
“Before training, we have something to tell you” Leah says as the rest of the team gathers around.
“£50 says they’re back together” Beth says from the side of you.
Deep down you knew she was right yet you choose to hold onto the hope that she was wrong so you agreed to her bet.
“We’re getting married!” 
Suddenly the £50 loss was the last of your worries. 
The two of them approached each player handing them an invite. Leah stops at you and you can tell she is trying to read your face.
“Congratulations Leah” you are numb. You don’t feel sad and you definitely don’t feel happy. In fact you feel nothing at all.
The white envelope felt heavy in your hands, almost as heavy as your heart.
Holding the invite you realise that you are too late.
The next few months both tested you and teared you down in the process. Leah wanted you to be involved in the wedding planning because she claimed that you knew her better than anyone including herself. You wanted to argue and say that Jordan should know her best but you knew it wouldn’t lead to anything good so you bit your tongue. 
When she asked you to be Maid of Honour you politely declined. You wanted Leah to happy, in fact that was the thing that meant most to you in this world. That being said you knew you couldn’t stand there and watch her marry someone when you truly believed it was you who should be standing opposite her at the altar.
The thought of losing Leah became too big of a burden to bare and as the big day got closer you began to shut off. The only way to cope was to ignore the wedding completely and hope that you would wake up to find that it was all a nightmare.
You never did send back the r.s.v.p. From the moment you received the invitation you never intended on going. Yes she was your best friend but sometimes there are moments that will destroy you into millions of pieces and you have to make the decision to put your wellbeing over doing what everyone else things you should do.
‘Y/N” Leah ran after you as you left St George’s park. It was the last camp before the summer break and her wedding. It was the last moment Leah would see you before she would say I do.
“Leah, whatever it is will have to wait. I have to be back in London for a meeting” it wasn’t a lie but you also didn’t share that the meeting was a evening meeting and it was only 11am.
It might have been small but Leah noticed how you called her by her full birth name. You never called her Leah, only Lee. Well you did call her Leah Catherine whenever she was in trouble but you hadn’t even called her that recently.
“I heard you talking to the girls. Can you really not come to my wedding?” 
Her tone broke your heart even more. You swallow deeply. You didn’t want to have this conversation with her but here you stand. Words failed you in that moment so you shook your head. It was the only way you could respond to the question.
“Are you sure?” Leah hoped that you would be able to change whatever event or meeting that was stopping you from attending. 
“I’m sure” two words, you could handle saying two words. 
“You know there will be a place for you if your plans change” Your best friend still remained hopeful that you would be there on her big day. That hope however was shattered into smithereens with your next sentence and it left her wondering what you truly meant.
“We both know I don’t have any plans” there’s no way that Leah could think you would miss her wedding if not for a very good reason. She had to have felt the connection you both had and you knew that if the roles were reversed then she would do the exact same thing.
With that being said you got into your car and Leah watched you drive away. Yes, you were leaving St George’s park but she couldn’t help but think if you were driving away from her as well. 
We both know I don’t have plans.
For weeks those 7 words played on a loop in Leah’s head. What did you mean by them? She was confused.
The night before the wedding you contemplated texting or calling her to tell her that you’re madly in love with her. You had seen the movies and this is one of the ways to get the girl. When you meet up with Jill a couple of days ago she made a joke that you should stand up and profess your love for Leah when the vicar asks if anyone has a reason why her and Jordan shouldn’t get married. You thought about it but ultimately the fear of rejection made your decision for you.
You buried your feeling in the bottle of whiskey that you opened the night you found out about the pending nuptials. It seemed fitting that you would finish the bottle the night before the ceremony.
With a freshly poured glass of the burning liquor, you make you way out to the balcony that looked out over the city of london. Even though it was late there were several people walking the streets. You thought for moment if one of them could be your person but you knew that there would never be anyone that compared to Leah. She was it for you. She might be your person but Jordan was hers or was she?
Your phone went off signalling you had received a text message.
I’m at your door.
The text message was from Leah.
You re-read it a couple of times as your mind tried to figure out what the best thing to do was. Your head was telling you to let her in and say nothing but you heart wanted to scream ‘I love you’.
The sight on the other side of the threshold took your breathe away. Leah was wearing a dress which was a rare sight in itself but then you remember that she had a meal with her and Jordan’s families.
You move aside so she can enter your home.
“I’m making a mistake aren’t I?” Her question is asked before you can shut the door. It has been a question that had been on her mind for most of the evening.
A couple of hours ago Leah found herself at a posh restaurant with her parents, her soon to be wife and future in-laws. Her father had off handedly mentioned your name and from that moment on you were the only person Leah could think about. It all became a bit much so she politely excused herself from the table. Jordan stood up prepared to go after her but Leah’s mum said she would go see if everything was ok. 
“Leah…”
“I’m getting married mum. Why aren’t I excited? Why don’t I feel the butterflies? You told me how you were the night before you married dad and this isn’t that” 
Amanda knew why and deep down she knew her daughter knew why as well. The only difference is that the older woman could see what was right in front of her and Leah, for some reason, was blind to it. Leah’s mum saw the way Leah had been with you for years and then she saw the way she was with Jordan. Sure it was love but it wasn’t true love. No, true love was the way Leah would talk about you and how her face would light up at the mention of your name.
“Why do you think? Sweetie, I cannot tell you why. You have the figure this out for yourself”
“That’s not helpful mum” Leah was growing frustrated. For the last couple of weeks she kept feeling overwhelmed and not in the way she should be. The excitement she once felt for getting married had died down.
“Leah you know why. You have told me that you’ve loved two women. Now is the time to figure out which one you want to spend your life with”
“You’re talking about Y/N? We aren’t really talking at the minute”
“And why do you think that is?”
“She’s really busy. She has taken more responsibility on lately”
“and when did this start?” Amanda knew when you had taken on all this work and she knew it had been a distraction.
“I don’t….” Leah thought about it for a brief moment “it was after me and Jordan got engaged” her mother nodded her head. Her daughter was a smart girl and she was getting close.
Just as Leah was about to say something else Jordan interrupted saying that their main course had arrived. Only now Leah had no appetite, nor did she want to back into the restaurant. 
This was your chance, she is giving you the perfect opportunity. All you had to do was be honest with her.
“What do you think is a mistake?” You were a coward.
“Marrying Jordan” She goes straight to your freezer as she takes the bottle of Vodka out and pours herself a glass. 
“Do you love her? Are you in love with her?” You asked her the questions hoping that she would answer the way you wanted.
“I do” 
For a split second you mind wanders. You are in the church with Leah standing opposite you, she says those same words before you kiss your bride. You quickly shake the thoughts from your head. 
“Then no, it isn’t a mistake” 
You couldn’t blame Leah for the way you were feeling, you were breaking your own heart.
“You think it is though? That’s why you have barely talked to me since I told I was getting married” 
Leah continued to push you. It felt like she wanted to you to tell her not to get married but you couldn’t do that.
“I won’t lie, it’s been hard. It has been me and you for the longest time, now it will be you and her”
This was another thing. You wasn’t only losing your one true love, you were losing your best friend. 
“It will still be me and you” 
“No it won’t. It hasn’t been for a while now”
“That’s not on me Y/N”
Leah was right, it wasn’t but it didn’t make it easier. The tension between the two of you was building and you knew it wouldn’t end well if the conversation continued so you decided to change the subject. You mind says something before you heart can stop it.
“What if I come tomorrow?” Why were you asking this? It wasn’t something you wanted.
“You had pla-“ Leah stops herself as she remembers what you said in the car park “You don’t have plans so why are you suddenly saying you’ll come”
“Do you want me there?” You pull the oldest trick in the avoidance book and answer her question with a question of your own.
Leah nods. Everything felt right when you were with her and she knew that she was getting cold feet although the reason why was lost on her. In that moment you do what you haven’t done this entire time and you put Leah’s wants and needs ahead of your own. 
“Do you want to come?” 
“What I want doesn’t matter” for the first time since she stepped foot in your apartment you look her in the eye. Oh those blue eyes. You see the ocean in her eyes but she sees pain and heartbreak in yours. In that moment, for the first time, she hears a small voice in her head telling her ‘you’re hurting her Leah’.
“Do you promise to come to my wedding?” Leah asks selfishly.
You hold your pinky out. Never in all the years of knowing Leah had you broken at pinky promise. 
You hold out your little finger but you don’t say the words, you can’t. You know that the night needs to end before you say something you cannot take back so you go to the door and hold it open for Leah.
For the first since you moved into your apartment, she doesn’t feel welcome.
“Y/N” she grabs your hand “What is wrong? You can tell me, we don’t keep secrets”
“Things change Leah” you pull away from her touch. Never have you spoken a sentence that held so many meanings. 
You watch Leah as she enters the elevator. Once she is out of sight you close your door. A mighty weight comes crashing down on you. This was actually happening, Leah was going to marry Jordan. She gave you the chance to stop and you didn’t take it. 
The next day you found yourself standing in the mirror. You had your emergency event suit on and you remember the irony that is that Leah helped pick it out. In that moment neither of you thought you would be wearing it to her wedding. 
The ceremony was at a small church in Milton Keynes. You thought about asking Millie if she wanted to carpool but ultimately decide against it. This way if you changed your mind at the last minute nobody would know. So far everyone in attendance thought you weren’t coming and you chose to keep it that way.
It felt as if you heart was shaking as you entered the church. All heads turned to face you and you could tell that they were all wondering why you were there. You took a place next to Jill and Viv and sat on the aisle. The two Dutchies were close friends of yours, they knew your feeling towards the bride to be but you also knew they would ask no questions. What you didn’t notice is that some of your England team mates sat in front of you.
“I knew you would come. You’re going to stop it, right?” Lucy asked in a hushed tone.
“I’m here to support Leah on her big day just as you all are” support was a strong word but it sounded like the right thing to say. What you didn’t expect was for those who were looking at you to do so with pity in their eyes. 
“Guys, it’s ok, really” it was delusion talking and that was confirmed when you locked eyes with Amanda who was sitting on the front row. She looked at you with an expression you did not recognise before proceeding to shake her head. What was she trying to tell you? Was she saying no? No to you being there? No to Leah not wanting to get married? You didn’t have a clue. 
The church grew silent and you know the wedding was starting. Jordan came down the aisle first and she looked beautiful then came Leah. You were on your feet and when you saw her you wanted to sit back down as it hit you that you shouldn’t be here. If not for Jill then you would have sunk into your seat for the Dutch had held you up. When you looked back at her she saw that your eyes had glassed over. 
“You’ve got this” she tried to reassure you and she was wrong but you didn’t have much of a choice. When Leah walk past you she smiled, she was happy. That made you return the smile. You kept telling yourself that if Leah was happy then you could be happy for her.
The ceremony itself was beautiful. Jordan spoke about Leah as if she hung the stars but there was something about the way Leah spoke. You had been there for the highs and lows of her and Jordan’s relationship. Time and time again you heard Leah speak about how Jordan made her feel and all the memories they had shared yet when it came down to the vows her voice was shaky. Something was wrong and once again Amanda looked your way. This time round the reason why she was shaking her head was clear. Leah didn’t want this. 
When the vicar asked if anyone had any objections you felt eyes on you from your left, right and some burning holes into the back on your head but no gaze felt as strong as your best friend. She was looking at you, she was begging you to say something but you couldn’t. 
What happened next was unexpected. Jordan leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Jordan didn’t care for the church full of people. She wanted to know what was going on in Leah’s head. 
“I can’t marry you Jordan” whilst Jordan’s words were a whisper, Leah’s were loud enough for everyone to hear, yourself included.
With that being said Leah ran down the aisle and out of the church. Nobody knew what to do or so you thought. Turns out the mother of the bride knew exactly what needed to happen.
“Go after her” Amanda says. You look at Jordan wondering what is taking so long to go after Leah only that isn’t who she is talking to. “Y/N, go” 
Suddenly all eyes were on you. You didn’t know what to do. 
“Y/N” you turn to face Jill “this is your chance. You told me that you have loved Leah for years and now is your chance to tell her” 
You look at Jordan who still stood at the front of the alter and mouth I’m sorry.
Leah was almost at the car she came in by the time you reach the doors of the church. 
“Leah!!” You shout as you run after her.
“Why did you tell me to marry her?” Leah was angry at you but you didn’t understand why. In your eyes you were doing the right thing.
“Because you said you loved her. I can’t stand in the middle of that Leah”
“What if I love someone else more? I am going to ask you one more time and I want you to tell me the truth. No avoiding and no lies. Why didn’t want to come today?” 
Now is your chance. That is what Jill told you. Now, right now in this very moment, is the chance for you to tell Leah exactly how you felt. 
“Because I couldn’t stand there and watch you marry Jordan. I didn’t want to be in the audience as you vow to love someone for the rest of your life when that someone isn’t me. I love you Leah and knowing you were going to marry someone else destroyed me. I have been working myself to the bone to stay distracted so that I don’t think about it and about you. My heart has been in pieces since the day you told me you were engaged. I hoped that I could make myself get over you but it was impossible. I should have known that I couldn’t get over you in a matter of months when I hadn’t been able to do so in years. You’re all I’ve ever wanted Leah”
“You should have said something. The vicar gave you a chance to say something” 
“Oh you sound like Jill”
“Jill knows?”
“Lee, everyone knows I love you. It was only you that couldn’t see it”
There it was. No more Leah, it was back to Lee. Being with you in this very moment lifted a weight off of Leah that she didn’t know was suffocating her. Then again everything did feel right when she was with you. All of a sudden she notices the signs. There has been plenty over the years but you were right, Leah was blind to them all. How could she has missed something that has been standing right in front of her.
Silence grew between you. You could tell Leah was thinking and given every thing that had happened in the last ten minutes you gave her space. She has just ran out of her wedding leaving the woman she thought she loved behind. 
“I’ve made a mistake” 
You felt your heart drop as she finished her sentence. 
“I understand. It’s not too late to go back in there. We can say you got overwhelmed but you do want to marry Jordan” even now, after you have just confessed your love, you were willing to follow your best friend’s lead. 
“No, I made a mistake with Jordan. I knew I had feelings for you when I started dating her. She was a distraction but then I started to care for her. When she proposed it seemed like the right thing to do” 
“That’s not what you should feel when someone proposes to you” 
This is something she knew but when you have someone down on one knee in front of you it is hard to differentiate between what you actually want and what you think you want. 
“What do you want Leah?” You asked hoping she would be honest not just with you but also with herself.
“I don’t want to marry Jordan” confession number one.
“I don’t want to wear this dress anymore” confession number two.
Then came what she did want.
“I want to be with the girl that I love, truly and deeply love. I want to be with you”
You nodded your head with a huge smile on your face. Now it was time to act on what Leah has just told you. The blonde watched you dial a number in your phone.
“What are you doing?” 
“Rectifying the situation” you playfully wink at her.
You paced forwards and backwards as you wait for the person on the other end of the line to answer.
“Hi. Yes, Leah is with me. I think she is ok, Leah are you ok?” Leah nods “yeah, she is ok. There isn’t going to be a wedding Amanda. Leah doesn’t want to marry Jordan. You will? Thank you. Of course I will look after her”
Confession one, dealt with. Confession two might be a bit hard right now so you skip to confession three.
“Do you really love me? I know I just layed a lot on you and you are probably very overwhelmed right now”
In less than a second you feel Leah’s lips on yours. This act of intimacy was her way of answering your question and it couldn’t have been clearer. You didn’t want to take advantage of the situation but everything in you was screaming, begging, for you to deepen the kiss so that is exactly what you do.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since Paris” you remember the moment vividly and wonder if it would have felt this way back then or if it would feel different.
“Maybe if you did then it could have been us in that church today. We wouldn’t have wasted years being apart”
“Don’t worry Lee, I don’t plan on wasting another second” and with that you kiss her again but this time you kiss her with all the pent up love that you had buried deep down. 
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mr2swap · 3 days ago
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Late Christmas gift
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I looked at the kitchen clock again, “6:36PM” It had only been 2 minutes since I last looked, after that I looked at the phone just to confirm that the time was correct, Maybe Grandpa Greg's flight had missed. Delayed? We hadn't seen each other, I placed my grandfather's glasses over my eyes, which I had easily gotten used to always having at my side.
I hated these stupid glasses, Grandpa's eyes work as much as his tiny, wrinkled cock, it's been over a year since me and Grandpa swapped bodies, I'd forgotten to buy a damn gift for Grandpa Greg, I didn't even know he liked me. To old people before I became one... I should have given him a foot massager. This huge belly makes my feet so tired that I prefer not to move from the couch for hours.
Anyway, I didn't have a gift, so I just wrote on a piece of paper “Valid for any gift.” How the hell was I supposed to know that what I wanted for Christmas was to be young again?”
The day after Christmas we simply woke up in each other's bodies and the worst thing of all is that we can't say anything about this ridiculous body swapping! Every time I try to tell my parents or one of my friends that I'm trapped in my grandfather Greg's obese, disgusting decrepit body, those thoughts just disappear from my mind and I start talking like I'm a 60-year-old old man. The last time I tried to tell my ex-girlfriend Stephanie, I “woke up” at the racetrack showing off my enormous stomach with a pipe in my lips and several empty beer cans around me.
But all this would end soon... or at least it was supposed to. We had tried everything to swap again, we even watched a long marathon of body swap movies to try various methods, but nothing worked... the only solution was to try to recreate what caused this problem in the first place, I just had to give him the same gift, and he would write “my body back” or something like that.
My family was preparing for dinner when suddenly a sound that came from my cell phone made me put the beer I was drinking on my huge belly.
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“I'm sorry kid, but I didn't know how to tell you in person, I decided to leave things as they are for a while, I still have things to do with your body, but don't worry I'll be back for the new year... maybe, I just met a guy incredible on the beach and I wouldn't want to ruin it”
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Hey guys! happy holidays!
This is a little story I wrote last year for my Ko-Fi page, thank you all so much for another wonderful year, if you like bodyswap and stories you can support me on my Ko-fi page to access my archive of over 250 bodyswap stories, from my old patreon and discord…
oh! And join my discord server, if you like RP or if you have any ideas that you would like me to write in a future story, I'm taking suggestions for ideas and images.
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helen-lucilfer · 3 days ago
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some really silly (AND CANON!!!) things about chrollo that i enjoy a lot
lmao im giving you all more since i think u all seem to rlly like the fun facts on the last post🥺💕❤️
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- chrollo has a phone, and the only times that he actually uses it is to call someone—plus, he only uses it a few in the series. an example is after his fight against hisoka (ch. 357) and another time is on the black whale trying to find his “ideal partner” (ch. 406, will elaborate more on in the next fact)
- chrollo basically uses the nen equivalent of tinder, as he steals an ability (notably from a woman) called “love dial”, in which he can put in a condition to find someone on his phone with the nen ability and the ability will give him the number of the person who is his “ideal match” (it’s not necessarily romantic). for example, if chrollo puts in “someone with a strong rage towards me”, then kurapika’s number would show up. (note: just because you call doesn’t mean that the call will necessarily go through).
- chrollo can basically use any resource to his advantage, no matter how seemingly useless. for example, in the yorknew city arc, chrollo kills all of the assassins going after him with the pen that neon used to write his fortune. another example is when shizuku and pakunoda talk about how kurapika probably came to yorknew for the auction and chrollo suddenly pieces together where exactly kurapika could be, who he is, etc,.
- according to the yoshihiro togashi exhibit in japan (which holds completely canon information), chrollo is considered a genius at nen, meaning that he is only one level away from the ultimate tier of nen use. according to togashi, anyone can reach the ultimate nen user tier as long as they train hard enough.
- chrollo has an ongoing pattern of taking someone’s nen ability and using it far better than the original owner ever could. for example, neon only used her ability with little to no knowledge about how it actually worked; meanwhile chrollo managed to take full advantage of her ability by predicting exactly what will happen in the future and managed to save numerous troupe members due to it. another example is kortopi’s ability, which was believed to be useless in combat. however, chrollo proved that to be wrong, as kortopi’s ability was crucial to chrollo’s win against hisoka.
- chrollo can TECHNICALLY win any battle as long as you give him prep time. (i know, it’s the ultimate chrollo fangirl powerscaler card, but im not wrong😔)
- chrollo actually seems to prefer letting his hair down. the only times that chrollo actually has his hair slicked back is when he is around the troupe, possibly due to not wanting to seem vulnerable around the troupe. his unmoving hair when slicked back represents that. however, when chrollo’s hair is let down, it moves and represents the more human, more fragile side of him.
- chrollo’s eyes directly contrast hisoka’s. while chrollo’s eyes are gray—a plain and dull color, they are nearly always lighted because chrollo cares despite trying to pretend that he doesn’t. meanwhile, hisoka has bright and fun colored yellow amber eyes, because hisoka doesn’t care about or feel anything despite wanting to.
- it’s canon that chrollo knows so much about Christianity and the Bible because he often visited the church in meteor city as a child (ch. 395-397). he seemed to be very close with the pastor, Father Lisores, as the pastor often complimented chrollo and talked about chrollo to the meteor city elders, talking about how chrollo might be the one to help the city.
- chrollo and the troupe actually seem to be viewed as heroes in meteor city rather than a villain. when the troupe visited meteor city to battle the chimera ants, the elders had no protests whatsoever despite knowing of their crimes. not only that, but judging from the way that chrollo spoke during his fight against hisoka, the meteor city elders also had very little, if any, issues against chrollo stealing their nen ability.
- chrollo has canonically met characters such as razor, eta, illumi, abengane, and dog man; no, that wasn’t a typo😭 his name is actually dog man (ik this isn’t really a fun fact but can u imagine how each of their conversations would go🤭 it’d lowkey be so silly)
- chrollo name in katakana (ク���ロ ku ro ro) has the word “kuro” in it, meaning black. the word “ro” is often added to names in japanese to make a name more masculine. thus, chrollo’s name can mean “black” or “darkness”
- chrollo’s tattoo is a type of cross called a “double vajra”
- a small plot hole in HxH about chrollo is how relaxed chrollo is with showing his face when going in public. during the yorknew city, people put chrollo’s face up on the internet. although they eventually take it down, there is still digital footprints.
- chrollo has a habit of self blame even when he is fully aware that something is not his fault (read his backstory for specific examples because there are WAY TOO MANY examples of it, especially in his backstory😞)
- chrollo seems to view himself as some sort of “higher being”. superior to humans, and yet the “being” that he sees himself as has little value. during the hisoka vs chrollo fight, chrollo says “humans are so very interesting” while looking down—and for the first time in the series, his eyes aren’t lighted. they are just dark and empty with very little emotion. chrollo doesn’t even view himself as a human anymore, and chrollo seems to view humans as some sort of strange entity.
- chrollo is an actor who acted a role for so long that he eventually forgot what his actual personality was like, and thus began to act out different roles and personalities hoping to find the one that he once was before he began acting.
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oh chrollo, how i love you. the way that you genuinely changed my life. how dare you be such a realistic and relatable character? how dare you be such a fun and addicting character to analyze and dissect? how dare you be such an incredible character to daydream about to my ocs? how dare you be the character that made me cry the most in all of fiction? how dare you occupy such a special place in my heart?
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aesthyuckic · 2 days ago
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🌻💐 sunflower! ┊͙✧˖*°࿐
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me being delulu as always… fem!reader tw: one swear n deluluness. this is fan x idol okay. wc: 1k
Oh, it was almost too exciting to be able to see Haechan again. A smile unknowingly blessed your face as you tried to breathe. Truthfully, you never understood how fans would pass out at the sight of their artists but then last year you saw him… In absolute awe as you saw him up on that stage, being so close felt so surreal and suddenly you understood those fans as you became lightheaded as he just walked by.
After being a fan for years, never thinking you’d get to see him perform live… Somehow you didn’t cry but after the fact, you cried so bad as you felt overwhelmed with many emotions that you didn’t completely understand. Being able to hear him sing live, his voice so much more sweet and lovely in person with his dancing somehow looking even better in real life… Something in your inner teen felt healed by the experience. He truly shined on the stage and seeing it with your own eyes you were in utter awe.
Being a sunflower since the Neocity: The Origin tour and only getting to see him for the first time at The Dream Show felt bittersweet. You remember watching the content from that tour almost religiously as it gave you some comfort and always made you smile. Seeing how he was gifted sunflowers by fans then and with every tour in every country, slowly you wished for that to be you. You were never good with words, a gift was always the best way to express appreciation for you. And then it was you as you calculate the toss of the sunflower you held all night onto stage to make sure it doesn’t cause issues with him or any of the other members.
He sees it and then he somehow knows as he looks back and smiles at you for just a second before he goes to pick them up. Your legs shake under you as security approaches you to tell you to go back to your seat. Only months later, watching your concert videos back do you notice how his smile appeared brighter that night after the fact. Only did you realize perhaps the head pat he gave out as he said goodbye to your side of the stage was possibly meant for you by the way he looks in your direction.
And then, here you were again only with send off this time. Somehow you found yourself at the barricade in a sea of other fans that chatter as they waited for the boys. You felt nervous but knew you’d managed to be able to talk to the other members but if you could actually get words out to Haechan, would they be coherent? That was the question.
While in your own world, the door opened and the room filled with screams as they came out single file. Every member looked around to wave and smile, the very last member being him… He looks so sweet as he smiles and his eyes are filled with a light as he kindly greets everyone he sees. When he turns, you feel petrified as you feel his eyes lock with your own. You feel the world slow just like you did in the moment you tossed those flowers to him months ago… His smile seemed to drop and in turn, you felt your heart drop. There’s no way…
Then you see him swiftly move pass the others to get to you. Oh shit…
He points at you and an even bigger smile is seen as he stands on the other side of the gate as a simply says, “Sunflower?”
For some reason, your mind instantly went he must be talking about the clip in your hair which you reach up to run your fingers over. How stupid were you to think for a moment he’d remember you?
“Oh, yeah!” You laugh, nervously. “I’m a sunflower.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You gave me sunflowers last time I was here...”
“Oh!” You managed to say, now well aware of how you shook. “I’m so sorry about that. I-“
“No. It made me very happy!”
He smiled at you. Oh my, how you looked so sweet towering above you and how you were not crying you don’t know. Yet, what he said was all you wanted to know…
“I’m so glad…” You admit. “How do you remember me?”
“You left…” He struggled with the right word. “A memory? You laughed about it after and you hid whenever I looked at you.”
You do remember laughing at his security as they came up to you. It was also true whenever he looked your direction you’d hid behind the girl in front of you. He even tells you he didn’t expect it from someone who seemed so shy.
“Where’s my gift today?” He asked. “You didn’t throw it up today…”
Without much thought, you reach into your bag to pull out a letter which you hand to him. He looks around before he sneaks it under his arm as security’s focus is elsewhere. Before he goes to others, you ask for a photo and he quickly signs the photocard you have of him.
“What’s your name?” He tilts his head a bit and you actually feel weak by it as he looks at you.
“Whatever you want it to be.” You shrug.
It gets a laugh out of him as well as the others surrounding you.
“For now, I’ll call you sunflower girl.” He nods as he finishes signing the photo card in his hand before handing it back to you. “Every time I see you, I look forward to a gift from you.”
He smiled before he winked and walked down the line. You didn’t fully process that until the girl beside you gave you the video. You don’t remember how long you screamed into your pillows for. It’s not like he had to tell you that, you would’ve ended up doing it anyway.
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batneko · 20 hours ago
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Oops I thought about Mithrun and Senshi too much and now the ship has sailed, sorry, it's cresting the horizon there's no point in even waving anymore.
(Cross-posted from a thread I wrote on bluesky yesterday.)
Mithrun was already fond of Senshi because Senshi is the person who made him feel like he deserved to keep living, so during the first year or so when the new kingdom is still getting settled Mithrun hangs around Senshi whenever they happen to cross paths.
Somebody mentions to Senshi that Mithrun wanted to learn to make noodles, so Senshi thinks that's why and is happy to teach him. Senshi is also trying to make a concentrated effort to unlearn his prejudices, and Mithrun turns out to be easy to talk to. He doesn't mind answering any odd questions Senshi has, or admitting when he doesn't know something. He'll also explain his own motivations (when he understands them himself) so even with Senshi's blunted social skills they can understand each other.
So it just makes sense for them to move in together! Neither of them is going to live in the city full-time, Senshi enjoys cooking for another person when they ARE both home, and they can report back to each other when they've seen particularly dangerous/delicious monsters on their trips. Logic!
Neither of them has a strong sexual/romantic drive so it's a solid decade before they even think to put a label on it. There are small changes here and there over the years though. Senshi learns Mithrun can't sleep without being lulled into it so he always makes him a filling snack and a warm drink. He keeps an eye on Mithrun's health and schedule. He likes doing this kind of thing, it feels good to have someone to take care of.
It's not perfect, of course. Mithrun has trouble expressing what he likes and wants, and since he's usually pretty blunt unless he's being bitchy Senshi has no idea when Mithrun is upset. Senshi can get upset about stuff too, and Mithrun has to learn to do things that seem pointless to him because they make Senshi happier.
(yes this is about doing the dishes)
And then one day while they're eating Senshi gently tucks Mithrun's hair behind his ear because it's gotten a little long and is suddenly overwhelmed with affection and the urge to do... something. He should do something here, right? So he offers to tie it back, but that's harder than expected.
Senshi tracks down Chilchuck to ask him how to do hair, and Chilchuck catches on immediately and is like, "lol, weird, you do you though man, congrats." Senshi is baffled and Chilchuck passes the lesson along to Flertom instead (her hair is most similar to Mithrun's). After that Mithrun heads out on his missions with his hair neatly pulled back and always returns once the braids have completely fallen apart.
Eventually Senshi is able to put a name to his feelings and realize he's felt this way for a WHILE, so he tells Mithrun he loves him. Mithrun says, "It doesn't feel the way it did before, but I care for you, your happiness is important to me. Being parted from you would be deeply unpleasant. I don't know if there's a name for this feeling other than 'love.'" And then reveals he inquired about dwarvish marriage customs EIGHT YEARS AGO and has had the rings in his room this whole time. Senshi, tearfully, accepts.
They have a quiet ceremony that weekend and forget to invite anyone.
Senshi eventually remembers to tell his friends, who are differing levels of surprised. Mithrun sends formal notices to the people who matter back in the elven kingdom and causes a HUGE scandal. He's quietly thrilled about this.
People who assumed Senshi and Mithrun were together this whole time and only mildly surprised they weren't already married: Laios, Falin, Kabru
(Kabru sees Mithrun often and always politely inquires "how are things with Senshi back home?" and Mithrun always says "good." or, rarely, "he's mad at me. 😑")
People who knew they weren't officially together but aren't surprised it turned out this way: Chilchuck, Cithis, Mithrun's brother
(Obrin came to visit once and Mithrun introduced Senshi as "this is Senshi, I like him." and Senshi was like "aw, I like you too! 🥰" and Obrin was just like "......hm!")
People who are absolutely blindsided: Marcille, Pattadol
(Marcille thinks love is supposed to be INTENSE and OVERWHELMING and LIFE-CHANGING and like, it can be but calm down.)
People who literally never wondered about them at all: Izutsumi
(Izutsumi lives with them, as much as she lives with anybody, she just doesn't care. She actually likes Mithrun's cooking better because he will serve her plain noodles without a word and Senshi is devastated by this.)
I'm not sure if they have sex. I think they would at least try it to see if it's for them. It does help Mithrun fall asleep! And I think Senshi would definitely enjoy being able to make Mithrun really come undone.
Not much really changes after they get married, they still have their own rooms, they still live largely separate lives. Except Senshi no longer has to worry about maintaining personal space when spending time with Mithrun. You're allowed to hug and cuddle your husband whenever you want, right? That's part of the whole deal!
Mithrun likes it but only Senshi can tell, at least until Mithrun starts reciprocating. Somebody who doesn't know they're together sees Mithrun wander over and lean on Senshi like an armrest and they're like "uhhhhh is that racist?" and somebody else is like "no no they're just like that."
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btswithluv13 · 1 day ago
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Two Friends
Chapter 2 - “What if it did?”
teaser: Maybe it was the liquid courage that dared you to continue, that made you say what you’ve been keeping in all these years.
warnings: alcohol, language, infidelity (kinda?)
recommended songs: HML - Milena // Canada - So Yoon // Goodnight n go - Ariana Grande
note: thank u all for waiting for this. i struggled a lot with how to end this chapter lol, pls forgive me for leaving it like that.
wc: 1.1k
Things were normal, at first. You'd still talk to Jungkook often, most of the time just through texts. You'd expected things to change of course like how your regular meetups with Jungkook now always included his wife. You knew very well how to distance yourself from him to not make his wife uncomfortable. You tried very hard to befriend her, and while you two got along just fine it seems like the only common denominator you had was Jungkook. So the meetups became less and less and the messages less frequent. 
Jungkook called you along with Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi to his place. His wife was out of town for the weekend. Frankly, you have been making up excuses whenever Jungkook would invite you over alone. You know he doesn't think much of it as this has been normal but you wanted to respect his wife and well… maybe there was a part of you still that didn't trust your heart being alone with him. 
So when your other friends ask you out to a party you say yes. When the guy you meet at the party asks for your number you give it. When he texts you the next day, you reply. You were fine. These were all the things that people do to move on. It’s odd to think you have to move on from a relationship that never happened.
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You were sitting around Jungkook’s dining table drinking and talking about mundane things. “So how is married life?” Jimin asks Jungkook. “Oh.. it’s good.. Yeah. We’re still getting used to it but things are… good.” He ends his sentence with a grimace. You thought he sounded strange saying it but you figured it wouldn’t do you well to overthink it. You take a sip, more like a shot, of the whiskey you were nursing.
 “___, how’s that guy you’ve been texting?” Taehyung says out of nowhere. 
Your eyes widen in shock as you look at your friend. You are coughing out and feeling awkward because everyone’s attention is now on you.
 “There’s a guy huh?” Yoongi teases. “Yeah tell us ___.” Jimin tacks on. 
“It’s nothing, we’re just texting…” 
“How come I don’t know about this guy?” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed. You look at him in disbelief, why would he care? 
“I mean it’s not a big deal, JK.” 
“No but, I’m your best friend aren’t I?”
“I don’t want to bother you with trivial things, besides you’ve been… busy.” You shrug. 
“Okay…” Jungkook feels unsatisfied with your answer but he lets it go. You don’t understand why he’s being so touchy over this. Sensing the tension in the room Jimin suddenly talks about how his friend Jin caught a large tuna. You take another shot. 
The night wears on and you try to shake off all the thoughts of the earlier conversation. You try your best to participate in your friends' discussions. Though you still feel the weight of Jungkook’s eyes on you. Things weren’t always this complicated. Jungkook was your person, someone you trusted and confided in but it felt wrong going back to how you were because, whether you or he admits it, things are different now that he’s married. You’ve accepted it already, you tried to move on. 
Eventually while the other guys were engrossed in talking about whatever, you took an opportunity to slip away. You found yourself outside again, this time on the balcony. The moon once again accompanies you. You look up at its glow and wonder if the moon can read your thoughts. If it judges you for how things turned out. 
The sliding door makes a sound behind you.
“You okay?” Jungkook’s voice was soft. You hesitated to turn and look at him. 
“Yeah. I just.. needed a moment.” You, readjust the jacket you were wearing.
You turn to face him now, his expression was a mix of concern and perhaps confusion. 
“Are you okay?” You ask, stepping closer to him. His presence filled the air, the familiarity of it all making your heart ache. 
“No.” His answer surprised you.
“What do you mean?” 
He looked at you with hesitation before blurting out “I just feel like.. We’re drifting apart in a way.” 
Not wanting to make this anything else you try to be defensive “Is this because I didn’t tell you about the guy?”
“What? No! ___ this is more than just the guy, I barely talk to you anymore. It feels like you’re purposely pushing me away and I don’t understand why.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks, you didn’t think he’d notice how different you were acting. 
Before you could respond Jungkook steps closer, holding a hand to your face. You feel your pulse pick up and you hated the way his hand felt so warm, so comfortable. 
“Please, tell me what’s wrong.. I miss you.” He pleaded, his eyes looked at you with so much longing you were almost ready to risk it all. 
But, this wasn't right.
“Jungkook, stop.” Your voice comes out almost like a whisper. You felt a sense of defeat because you know just how this night would end once you spill your emotions.
“What is it? Do you just not want to be friends with me anymore?” The tone of his voice was rising.
“No!” You panicked, “never that, Jungkook. You’re married now, and things are just different…” 
“Why does it have to be different? You know I would never want you to feel like things are different just because I’m married. You’re important to me too, ___. ” 
You can’t take it any longer, whatever restraint you had was hanging on by a thin piece of thread. 
“Because!” You snap.
“Because, what?!”
“Because, I don’t know how to be just your best friend Jungkook!” 
Maybe it was the liquid courage that dared you to continue, that made you say what you’ve been keeping in all these years.
“Not when I want to be more…” Jungkook is taken aback. 
There’s a suffocating silence that surrounds the both of you. There was no relief in your admittance, the weight of the words you just let go felt like it crushed you even more making it hard to breathe. You think you fucked everything up now.
“Jungkook, I’m sorry… Please forget about it. It’s probably just the whiskey talking..” Tears spilling out of you now, a wave of regret sweeping over as you try to fix what just happened, as you try to mend your friendship. If the ground could just swallow you right then and there.
“Why are you only telling this to me now?” Jungkook’s voice was low, almost like he was talking to himself.
“What? It’s not like it would’ve made a difference.” You say it but you can’t help the way your heart jolted at what he said. Because you didn't want to make the situation any worse than it is you try to sidestep him to get inside, but he grabs a hold of your hand and faces you to him. There’s a hesitant pause before his mouth twitches, and then…
“What if it did?” He says.
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ghostickle · 2 years ago
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Since this blog is just a public diary at this point here’s how my life is going rn;
As we all know I’m living in a friends closet, literally. And I Had finally gotten a job after like two months but then Those Cunts managed to convince me they weren’t so shitty and after only like a week and a half at the new job they got me thinking about moving back there where I don’t have to walk so far in the dark for work and where there’s always clean running water and where my puppy is. I thought I was going to quit the job I had just gotten to go back then last night they have me FaceTime them literally doing this shit like it’s an interview and it’s supposed to be my parents and they’re talking about if I’m allowed back saying I act like a toddler that I’m a liar and I’m “putting them in danger�� by telling my friends what’s going on and leaving their house and they start saying how they’ll kick me out if they decide they don’t like something I do or say at any moment and all the same shit they tried to pull before I left and I, now heavily dissociated and realizing I fucked up trusting them, realize I can’t go back what the fuck was I thinking but I already had gone too far. I had to leave the job I just got that I really liked after only two weeks because I trusted them and I lost everything I spent two months working for and I have to start all over again
#also originally I was talking to them via text#Yknow where there’s evidence of what people say they cant just go back and say that never happened#and when talking about moving back they suddenly only wanted to talk in person#they did agree to FaceTime but that still isn’t permanent#I should have recorded it I know better I’ve been doing this shit for 20 years#record everything#for your safety to have proof record and save the shit they say and do#like keep evidence#I know this I’ve done this before#but I believed them#I know better than that#on average abuse victims go back to their abusers 7 times#and I swear I won’t do that I can’t go back#ghost rambles#I’m incredibly grateful for the people I’m staying with#the one who’s apartment this actually is she’s the only reason I have anything even if it’s not a lot#she’s the one not getting pissed at me for losing that job and believing them#she’s the one saying to work on getting better that that’s more important than a job right now#and she’s right I can’t hold a job when I’m struggling to even care for myself#when I’m still very messed up from everything#I do need a job I want to work but I need to help myself first#we’re going to look into what kind of like help is available#there’s not much here it’s all in the city like 4 hours out#but I swear to god I’ll make it out of this#13 year old me said I’d survive if for nothing else than to be the trans person who made it#and who am I to disappoint that kid
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apocalympdicks · 1 year ago
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my tumblr bios a liar im fucking 25
(no one believes me irl cuz im 4'11 & im visibly autistic)
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ridher · 3 months ago
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rafe cameron too fine i wanna squish his cheeks til he's mad
you adored your boyfriend — yes, we're talking about the same person. though he wasn't much different from the reputation you'd heard all too much about, now he was yours.
so when he comes home from whatever errands he had to run around the town for that day, you're already mulling about the cameron mansion — something not so uncommon in the few months you'd been together.
a loud click of the front door slamming shut echos through the long, empty halls and almost instantly reaches your ears. you know who it is based on the aggressiveness of the person's footsteps.. and because you were periodically checking life360 with an impatient biting of your acrylics.
yet, you don't move from where you're curled up on a spacious couch in the living room despite how badly you want to see him — he can take some initiative sometimes.
so it startles you slightly when he plops down beside you with a heavy sigh through his nose, having silently found you and entered the room without you even realizing.
tilting your head to look up at him all wide-eyed, his gaze is glued stoically to the excessively huge television across the room playing whatever you'd been mindlessly binge-watching.
you shuffle closer, disregarding the blanket that slips off your bare legs while doing so — something he doesn't miss out of the corner of his eye.
he softens up only slightly when you lay your head against his bicep and curl up at his side, following his gaze to focus back on the show though his presence clouds your thoughts.
as if it's such a chore, he wraps the arm around you and your head slumps to his chest, suddenly all smiley at the warm feeling of his hand across your back — slipping under your baby tee through the bit of skin it exposes.
you look back up at him again to find the grumpy boy already staring down at you, any hint of affection hidden from his expression at being caught admiring his girl. but, you're already smiling sweetly at the sight of a flush across his face to which he redirects his attention from you.
giggling, you reach your hands up to cup his face and sit up slightly to be partially on his lap and face him. his reaction is an immediate furrow of his brows and a frown tugs at his lips, tensing while trying to lean away. but you don't let him — instead holding his cheeks and squeezing gently as you would a child.
eventually, rafe grabs your wrists and pulls your hands away, clearly displeased by your act of babying towards him — he's a man, after all. debating with himself while glancing across your happy little face, he digresses and pulls you against him with the grip he had on your arms.
you just giggle again and cuddle up against his torso, grabbing at the hem of his shirt to cling to him more acceptably in the opinion of rafe.
he shakes his head to himself and looks down at you with the most subtle of smirks, one hand going to the back of your thigh right under the curve of your backside and the other firmly against the back of your head, long fingers spreading through your hair.
"shiiit," rafe drawls, thinking over the situation and the pretty girl he's got so obsessed in his lap. he couldn't stay mad.
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all4yoi · 4 months ago
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𝒩ot a bet﹕hyung line
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𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ⚹ cw: each member ranges from 5-1k wc, fluff, lowercase intended, they swear, crying, uh someone kneels, not proud w heejake's 😞, not proofread ( lmk if i missed something! )
sypnosis : upon learning that you were merely the stake in a bet, they wasted no time in mending your relationship.
part one !
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★ LEE HEESEUNG ( 0.8k wc )
"y/n wait!"
heeseung's voice only made you walk faster. you didn't want to humiliate yourself further by stopping and talking to him. all you wanted to do now was to just march out of the school, go home, lock yourself in your room and maybe eat a tub of ice cream while you ugly cry yourself to sleep.
"y/n, please." heeseung pleaded, taking your elbow in his grasp as he spun you around and pulling you closer to the point you can feel his breath on fanning your nose.
he looked at you pleadingly. "it's okay," you managed to say in a shaky voice. "i understand, you can all laugh at me all you want now-" he shook his head, "it's okay really!" you added, pursing your lips.
"i just want to be left alone now okay?" and even if he knew you didn't mean just 'now.' he'll respect your wishes and let you go, but he won't give up.
heeseung watched you walk away from him with a heavy heart, wanting nothing but to just explain everything to you before it was too late. he couldn't lose you, not like this.
when he couldn't see your figure anymore, he messily messed his hair and made his way back to the gym eager to teach a guy how to not spit nonsense.
it's been a week since that happened and a week since he's seen you in the school. he asked some of your classmates and club members but all he received were nasty glares and short cold answers. what happened between the two of you spread like wild fire the following day you walked away from him. everyone knew you were kind of a nerd, but they also knew you were a complete angel and had a heart soft as a pillow.
they also knew that betting on a person's feeling isn't exactly it. — more under the cut!
so throughout that week too, his popularity decreased day by day. he used to receive heart eyes on the hallways and joyful 'good morning, heeseung!'s by random students, now all he received were judgemental glances and they avoided him like a plague, scared to be the next target of a cruel bet.
he didn't care though, all he cared about was your wellbeing. it's been a week and you've still yet to show up to class, so imagine his surprise when you suddenly walk in to the room with your usual hair do, your bag slung over on your shoulder and your glasses almost falling off your nose bridge.
he sat up straighter, gulping as his eyes followed your every move. he could feel hear heart beating louder, as if it was calling for you, desperate to be near you again.
he needed to fix this, asap.
it felt like forever before heeseung heard the bell ring. as soon as he heard the annoying sound, he messily packed up his things and ran after you.
"y/n!" your forearm was then again grabbed by him. although this time, he turned you slowly. heeseung silently admired your face. he missed you so much.
"let me explain, please. it's not what you think. i promise." he whispered, vulnerability in his tone. the simple nod you gave was his signal to interlace his fingers with yours as he looked for an empty room.
you ignored the looks everyone threw your way, either worried and judging. all you could focus on was his warm hand on yours and how you missed it so much, you didn't even realize you both were now inside an empty classroom.
"there was no bet." you furrowed your brows, looking at him with mixed confusion and frustration. "i promise, there was no bet."
"why would they say that then?"
"i don't know, but i promise there's no bet. throughout the months we've been together everything i've said was real." he said, desperate.
heeseung stepped closer.
"what i felt for you was real," he scrambled to get his phone from his pocket, opening his messages app. "you can go through my phone all you want, ask any of my friends-" you raised a brow.
"not those friends! i mean sunghoon, jay, jungwon.. you know." your raised brow made him sputter. "to be completely honest, they've been ignoring me after they heard about what happened.."
you looked at him hesitantly as you scrolled through his messages with shaking hands. you scrolled for so long, you even reached to the messages months before you both got together.
he didn't have any messages to his basketball team group chat unless it was announcements from his coach. the group chat with his actual friends were only filled with his pining over 'the girl on the back of his biology class.'
"heeseung.."
"there's no bet, baby. i'd never do that to anyone." he whispered, stepping closer. "i can't lose you like this.. i love you."
you sniffled as you came crashing on his chest, letting tears fall again. heeseung immediately wrapped his arms around you, sighing in relief as he finally have you back in his arms.
"i was so worried baby." he mumbled, kissing your head.
"i love you forever. i'll kill everyone who tries to get in between us again," heeseung pulled you closer if it was even possible.
"and if they do, i'll make sure to fix everything even if it means the whole world would hate me."
★ PARK JONGSEONG ( 1.0k wc )
jay was confused.
the both of you had a very well planned date tonight, so he was utterly puzzled to see that you weren't responding to his messages. for heaven's sake, you didn't even read his messages, he was just left in delivered.
he had tried calling multiple times but was only met with your automated voice telling him to leave a voice message. it came to the point that he had enough and decided to drive to your house.
throughout the drive, jay wondered what could've happened. he couldn't think of anything that would make you upset like this, he hoped that you just fell asleep and forgot to have your alarm on.
walking up the porch of your house, jay rang the doorbell and was met with your mom who opened the door with furrowed brows when she laid her eyes on him.
"good afternoon mrs. l/n, is y/n home?" your mother's frown deepened, hesitantly looking at the stairs behind her before looking back at him. "i'm sorry jay, she said she doesn't want to see you?"
that caused jay to furrow his brows as well. "wha- may i ask why?"
"i was hoping you'd tell me." if jay was confused a while ago, he was even more confused now and frustrated.
"can i see her, please?" he pleads, the older woman hesitantly opened the door wider to invite him in, and before he could ascend up the stairs, your mom stopped him.
"jay.." he looked back. "i don't know what happened to you both but take it easy on her, alright? she's been crying, i can tell." jay gulped and only nodded, sending your mom a pursed smile.
he knocked on your bedroom door, when no response came, he tried to turn the knob and was thankful that it wasn't locked.
jay slowly opened your door, seeing you curled on one corner of your bed as your body shook from your sobs you tried to keep silent.
he could feel his heart break at the sight. stepping a foot inside the room, he mentally cursed at himself when he accidentally bumped on to your mirror causing your head to shoot up in alarm at the sound.
your already glassy eyes was once again filled with tears as your eyes met his. jay barely dodged the pillow you threw at him, screaming at him to "go away and never show your face to me again."
jay frowned and came closer until he was sat on the edge of your bed, ignoring the words you just shouted at him.
"baby.. what's- what's wrong?" he asked, attempting to hold your hand but you retracted it and tried to throw another pillow at him. he swiftly caught it and brought it back down gently beside you.
"was it worth the one month of free car wash?" you spat through hiccups. jay stayed silent, confused.
"of course it probably was, that's what you do right?" the sight of your swollen and red face kept breaking his heart, he was still confused on what you were talking about but he'll let you talk.
this way he knew how he'd make things better.
"make me fall in love with you in exchange of a month's free of car wash.." you muttered, your eyes still boring on to his. at your words, it finally clicked. "..am i really worth just that much?" another sob.
right, he had forgotten to end the call when his 'friend' came barging into his apartment. you had probably heard all the nonsense the guy sputtered.. but surely you must've heard the way he defended your relationship and swore at that him too?
"i thought.. high school days were done jay. please just leave me alone now. you got what you want." jay shook his head, coming closer and pulling your body to his.
he wrapped his arms around you, his hand rubbing your back as you sobbed hard. he didn't try stopping you when he felt your weak punches that you threw at his chest, his own tears clouding his vision but he didn't dare make them fall.
"you got it all wrong, baby." he whispered, rubbing your nape as your face now rested against the crook of his neck. he ignored the wetness there. "i'm guessing you overheard the conversation with sungjae?"
you nodded, now calmer but not pulling away.
"did you also hear the way i told him to drop the stupid bet he kept insisting to happen? the way i kicked him out of my apartment?" you stayed silent, only sniffling as a response.
jay sighed, wrapping his arm around your waist tighter and pulling you closer.
"the whole campus knows sungjae's an asshole, baby. he was a jerk who thought that being a dick to others were entertaining, and i guess that's why i was like that back in high school.. i wanted to be accepted in their group."
"but we're in college now, i left that group but somehow sungjae's here and is pathetically still stuck in the past." he pulled your face from his neck, cupping your cheek and wiping away your tears.
"i've loved you since high school.. and there's no bet, baby. the moment he had found out i was dating you, he kept bringing up a bet about how long we would last.. but i always shut him out, told him to cut it out and that there will be no bet happening, especially if you're the one getting betted on."
new fresh tears come rolling down your cheek, this time they were tears of relief. glad to know that everything was real, that you weren't just a toy.
"you promise you'll cut him off starting now?" you whispered, looking at him with big glassy eyes.
"i've cut him since high school, y/n. it's him who's keep clinging to me. but i promise he won't be saying anything about the both of us anymore." jay pressed your foreheads together, pressing a soft peck on your lips.
"you will forever be the prettiest and the only one i'll ever love this much in this world, my baby."
★ SIM JAEYUN ( 0.5k wc )
jake watched you run away in confusion, staring at the laughing crowd and turning to look at your locker only to be met with the note he has been telling everyone to throw away.
he angrily took it from your locker, ripping the small paper into pieces. "how many times have i told you to cut this shit out? do you want me to report all of you for harassment and bullying?" he raised his voice at the crowd who had stopped their laughter.
"that's what i thought." he frowned, pushing past them and running after you.
jake knew what everyone was doing the moment it spread that he was dating you. he had received dms telling him he could do better and if he was merely toying with your feelings.
he had told them countless times to drop it, even going far as to almost punch the person who has created the bets if it wasn't for sunoo holding him back. he had hoped that it wouldn't reach you. it was another one of his reasons on why he always went to school earlier, just in case it was placed on your locker. unfortunately, you were earlier than him today.
it's not like he was tolerating it, he had tried countless times to report it but they'd only say it was probably only for fun and he shouldn't take jokes seriously.
but jokes were meant to be funny, right?
jake opened the door that lead to the rooftop slowly, peeking his head to look if you were there. to his luck, you were.
your back faced him while your bag was placed down carelessly beside your feet. jake approached slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you further.
"baby?" he mumbled loud enough for you to hear. you turned your head towards him, showing him your tear stained cheeks. "oh, y/n." he sighed and held your cheeks, wiping away the salty liquid off your precious face.
"jake.. why are you dating me, of all people?" you ask through tears, avoiding his eyes.
jake's eyes softened, he dated you because you were different from everyone who wanted to be like the everyone else, did that make sense? you were your own person, you didn't care about social status, wealth, his circle of friends, and whether someone was good looking or not. you were soft hearted, to the point that you had let others take advantage of that leading them to walking all over you.
and he hated that.
"why not you?" he said softly, tilting your chin up so that you could meet his eyes. "you're everything i've ever needed."
"you can tell the truth." you mutter, looking at jake. his mouth formed a pout, heart broken at the way you had so little love for yourself.
"i am telling the truth, baby." he whispers, taking your hands and placing them on his face before putting his own hands back on yours. "everything is a joke to them when i'm involved." you whisper, ignoring the way your voice broke.
"we don't care about what they think, they're all just jealous. everything we've been through and what i feel for you are real, no jokes." he smiled, pulling you closer to him.
"you promise?"
"baby i'd choose you over anyone in this world over and over again until the heavens above is tired of me."
★ PARK SUNGHOON (0.7k wc)
sunghoon frowned, confused and hurt. he wanted to fix whatever happened, so he took his phone from the couch and his car keys from the wooden bowl in his foyer.
it was when he was in the elevator that he noticed his phone was open. his breath hitched, finally knowing the reason for your departure and choice of words. sunghoon quickly left the group chat and started dialing your number.
it was true that you were a bet. were. he didn't even know why he agreed, maybe because he wanted so badly to fit in. he didn't want a repeat of middle school, so instead of being the bullied and made fun of, he was now the one doing those to others. he wasn't proud of it at the slightest.
that doesn't excuse his actions though. the longer he spent time with you, the deeper he fell. sunghoon never planned for you to find out this way, he already had a plan. first he had to get rid of his 'friends', tell you everything then ask you if you still wanted him to meet your parents.
guilt always ate him alive whenever you would stay over and sleep by his side. he couldn't bring himself to meet your family knowing he hasn't told you everything and the truth.
he felt like his heart would jump out of his chest as he stood infront of the door of your house. if he died tonight on the hands of either your father or older brother, he'd welcome death with open arms.
i deserve it.
he audibly gulped when the door opened, revealing.. you. the way your brows furrowed at the sight of him tightened his chest. he stopped you before you could even close the door on him.
"y/n please, let me explain everything.. o-okay?" the way his voice cracked and the unshed tears in his eyes almost made you give in, but upon remembering what you've read, the anger in you was back.
"explain what?" you spat, turning to look over your shoulder before back at him. "that all those months i've spent loving you," you pointed at him harshly. "was just for entertainment? tell me, what was in it for you, huh?"
sunghoon shook his head, the tears now flowing down his pale cheeks. "no, no! i promise, please i love you." he reached out but you stepped back, biting your lip as you held back the tears.
"just.. leave me alone sunghoon," he felt his heart crack even more. "you've had your fun, you can laugh about i all you want now." you were taken aback when he knelt infront of you, hugging your waist as he sobbed.
"what the-" sunghoon tightened his grip on you, muttering along the words of 'im sorry', 'never meant to be like this', and something along the lines of regretting something.
"sunghoon- oh my god." you groaned as you descended to face him. "please, i didn't mean to. i-" he hiccuped, "i'm sorry, i know it was stupid and there's no reason for me to accept the bet- but i just wanted to fit in. i wanted them to take me as a part of their circle- but, but i soon realized that it was stupid." he looked at you with swollen eyes, desperation swam in his dark irises.
"because i realized that hurting you isn't worth being a part of their asshole group. it started with a bet, i admit, but i truly love you, please believe me." a sob made its way out his throat as he clung into you, his arms circling your neck. "it wasn't a lie whenever i said i'd meet your parents, i was constantly trying to get rid of them first before i met your family, i didn't want to meet them until i've told you the complete truth."
your own tears descended down your cheeks, your heart hurting for yourself and sunghoon. you stayed on the floor wrapped around each other for a moment before you both helped each other up to your feet, he looked at you intensely with red bloodshot eyes. "i'm sorry, i understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."
"i understand hoon," you whispered, bringing your hands to cup his face. "but you have to understand too that i can't trust you fully right up again." he nodded, putting his own hands on yours as he kissed your palms.
"i know.. and i'll spent the rest of my life earning it again. i love you."
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— ౨ৎ thank u for tuning in ! @j-jinxee @slp23 @unsurereader @heelovesmeknot @sunshine-skz @hoondrop @jooniesbears-blog @jordan1024 @heeswif3y @outroherrr @harufluff @cheeseball0 @yjwluver @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @itjengirl @emiliasstuffs-blog @isa942572 @lufcxx @alienqbrain @woniebae @baekxo07 @titttuaf @chuuswifereal @kyanmeai @isabellah29 @deezbin @skzenhalove @eneiyri @a4ruby @saxytalks @denleave1088 @imdelulu @powerpuffstuts @hoonatic @dollydigital @chososloverfr @dummyf @chanyeolchannie @oddracha @wonwushu @strawberrynull @ceciloveshee @loumin908 @cexg68 @grassbutneo @gardenwons @pag-yerin @bora04 @iluvnikism @jellymiki
— i couldn't tag those who's usernames aren't in bold :(
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scorpiosbite · 1 month ago
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the time actress!reader mentioned obx in her interview
𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 ────୨ৎ──── while the obx cast were together in drew’s hotel room madelyn in her ever obsession of game of thrones brought up that you had mentioned how much you love obx in an interview. causing them to watch the interview together.
𝜗𝜚 pairing: actress!reader x drew starkey
author’s note: this takes place in 2023 during the filming of obx 4 and 3 weeks after the first time they watched the show together. at this point of my timeline the cast have watched the entire first season of game of thrones.
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drew was scrolling through his phone, you had followed him back on instagram a week ago and he was on the moon. though he hadn’t messaged you yet. unsure on what to say to you. drew prided himself on being a confident man yet, your ability to make him nervous through a screen was unprecedented.
while stalking your profile for the umpteenth time he found himself wondering about you yet again. your limited amount of posts made you even more intriguing to him. he wondered what kind of person you are. what things made you tick, whether you would stare up at him with those siren eyes, whether you moaned or whimpered during sex, whether your face scrunched up and your mouth hung open as your chest heaved like it did in your sex scene that hasn’t left his brain since the moment he watched it.
just as he fell into a spiral of thoughts about you madelyn spoke up from her seat across the room, drawing the attention of everyone else, and drew was suddenly reminded that he wasn’t alone in his room. “oh my fucking god! i forgot to tell you guys!” she was staring down at her phone. but drew was having trouble focusing on her, still consumed in his thoughts of you.
the others, however, had no problem driving their attention to her, so drew remained in his bubble staring at the most recent post on your profile, a vogue magazine cover from three months ago, of you, seated, legs spread on the iron throne with the sword dark sister held in your hands standing between your legs, the crown of aegon the conquerer tilted on your head, the lace thigh high socks with garters disappearing under the skirt of your tight mini dress and the bold red coating your lips enticing him further.
it wasn’t till he heard your name slip from madelyn’s lips, was his attention torn from the captivating sight on his screen. “wait, what you just say?” madelyn smirked “of course, only when i say y/n’s name, do you listen.” drew blushed lightly. but didn’t make the move to defend himself, after all they would be right, he had been distracted from the moment he saw you in all your glory stealing the screen.
“what i was saying that y/n mentioned obx in an interview, just pass me the remote, i’ll show you.” drew’s heart rate spiked, the thought of you having seen him in his element, doing his job, made him self conscious in a way that he wasn’t ready to admit. once madelyn had the video loaded on the screen, drew was once again struck by how effortlessly beautiful you are. dressed in simple black pants and an off-shoulder cream long sleeve top, brown boots disappearing under your pants and simple gold hoop earrings, your brunette hair loose and following in natural waves. drew looked at your empty neck and thought how good you would look if there was a necklace with his initial hanging there, branding you as his.
madelyn skipped through the video until the moment you were talking. the interviewer asked you and your cast-mate what shows you watch during your down time when filming, your voice rang through the silent room and drew was struck once again by how attractive your accent sounded, your british accent deep and sultry but more casual than the tone you use when playing visenya. “oh, well mimi and i love outer banks a lot, to the point where we quote it on set quite often. i think we’ve annoyed everyone.” you laughed and drew thought about how he wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life.
your cast mate and best friend, mimi who plays arianne martell laughed and agreed and the interviewer who was surprised by your answer said that obx was one of her favourite shows too. your face immediately brightened as you watched her intently as she spoke about the show. what drew would give to have you look at him like that.
madelyn paused the video and drew knew that once everyone had left his room he was going to watch the entire video. “that’s so cool!” jd gasped. “i know right? that’s so crazy that she’s seen our show.” madison replied. but drew couldn’t bring himself to speak, he wondered what you thought of him after watching his performance. he wondered if you had the same all consuming thoughts he had about you, about him.
“i followed her when i first watched the show and she followed me back, but after seeing that clip a week ago i messaged her and we’ve been talking back and forth ever since, she’s so fucking cool, it’s insane. i think we’re friends now!” madelyn raved. “you’re friends with her?!.” drew was baffled, how was madelyn just bringing this up, she has known about his developing crush for weeks. “ah, now you want to chime in drew?” “yes, we’re friends and she’s gonna be in la when we get back so i told her she should come hang out with us, what you guys think?”
drew’s heart felt like it was going a mile a minute, he was gonna meet you. what the fuck.
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thank you for all the love on the first part i’m so grateful. and for everyone who wants to be added to the tag list i’m figuring out how to do that so please be patient with me. also please send me asks about this au i would love to do like a drew starkey x actress!reader thoughts thing, but let me know what you thought of this part!
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morallysuperiorlips · 19 days ago
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10 Ways to Ensure Your Villain's Evil Monologuing Dialogue is as Unsettling as Possible!
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1.) Make sure you're mixing body language with the words themselves: You can have your villain saying the most twisted shit, but if they're just standing there like a cardboard cutout, their words probably aren't going to hit as hard. Have them touch your protag. Have them toy with a weapon as if they're going to use it. Have them pace. Have them put together the blood ritual they're ranting about. Keep them moving.
2.) Have them use personal knowledge as a tool: Does your villain have some deep dark dirt on your protag? Don't let that all go in one swoop. Let them hint at it in drops before they open the dam. Maybe they use that knowledge as a bargaining tool to get an upper hand, or use it to send the trapped protag into a frenzy because they love to watch them scream.
3.) When it comes to threats, certainty is key: A threat is a threat, but there's nothing like a threat being spoken as if the villain knows it's going to happen. Whether your villain has already caught your protag, or is in the process of doing so, everything they say they want to see happen to your protag needs to come with absolute certainty. Almost as if it's a certain warning, and not just something they’re saying to be scary.
4.) Contradictions are your friend: Nothing indicates a warped villainous mind more than some juicy contradictions. Your villain might be talking about how they're going to flay your protag's hide after catching them in their dungeon, only to throw in a subtle "but, you're probably safer here with me." Find ways to toss in twisted contradictions that also underline the crazy shit they might be saying.
5.) Mess with syntax: Unsettling dialogue calls for unsettling structure. Incomplete sentences, unforeseen pauses, longwinded explanations broken up by more unforeseen pauses. Whatever it is, keep the rhythm offbeat. Don't give your reader a chance to be able to tell what's coming.
6.) Expectations? Subvert those: Your protag and even your readers might be suspecting one thing from your villain, so throw them a curveball and hit them with the complete opposite. Perhaps you've reached a point in your story where it seems like the villain might kill your protag on sight. But no, have your villain mention exactly why they aren't going to do that, and why they want to wait it out.
7.) Mix quiet confidence and loud assertion: Some might say that the silent seether is scarier, while others might agree that the sudden explosive type takes the bigger unsettling prize. In my opinion, you can really capitalize on the eeriness of villain dialogue by tapping into both. A villain that speaks on with refined confidence before very suddenly exploding, without much warning, can really power up the dread behind their words.
8.) Sometimes, ambiguity is better than being straightforward: Whether it's obvious that your villain has a lot of tricks up their sleeves--or not--leaving things to the imaginations of your protag, and subsequently, your readers is great for building dread. You can use dialogue to make it clear that they're up to something, but never make them fully disclose what that is. They might show it instead of tell it, or it might just never happen. Either way, it'll likely have everyone looking over their shoulders.
9.) There might be times where silence says everything: You might be worried about penning the correct verbiage for your villain's big evil speech, but sometimes, silence speaks wonders. When used correctly, a long pause, or a bout of silence after your protag has said their piece can build a sense of uneasiness more than them actually speaking would have.
10.) Find ways for your villain to mirror the hero: A monologuing villain is better when they're throwing your hero's values and beliefs back in their face. A hero that believes in mercy? Well, have your villain talk about how they'll make them beg for it. A hero that believes in the greater good? Have your villain talk about their idea of a greater good.
As always, GO WRITE SOMETHING TODAY! <3
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delicioushottubpeanut · 1 year ago
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♡ babysitter
oneshot - inspired by that one edit
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fandom: five nights at freddys (movie)
paring: mike schmidt x fem!reader
warnings: nsfw 18+, dry humping, sexual tension, kissing, friends to lovers, cumming in pants, submissive mike, foul language, teasing, smut, riding, dom reader, consensual sex, age gap, minors dni..
You've heard a lot about him from Abby, mainly bits and pieces that she's told you, but nothing really about him and the only thing he really says to you is that he's eventually going to pay you back. But you always refuse.
The old couch squeaks softly as he sits beside you, a gentle hand goes to reach your face but hesitates.
He’s been very busy for a while now that he has started his new job at a security guard that was shut down ages ago. When he comes home he's always so tired, like he's a different person. As if he cannot relax. You hear the door open and slam back as it he closes it.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come back.." You whisper, groaning whilst you move out of the position you had been in for a while. Yawning as you gently wipe your eyes.
Mike looks at you, half-smiling as he leans against the cushions. He's tired, you can tell. "Sorry if I woke you, you looked exhausted, so I just wanted to cover you," he whispers back, stretching his arms. "Did Abby go okay for you?" he asks.
"I told her it's bedtime an hour ago, but you know how it is with little ones." You joke.
"Abby was great, she missed you, though.." You smile sheepishly, shifting on the coach to face him. "How was work?" You ask, seeing the slight bags under his eyes.
Mike chuckles softly, leaning his head back and letting out a deep sigh as he stares up at the ceiling.
"It was long," he sighs. "I mean, I've gotten used to it, of course, but god, it's draining..." He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, looking off to the side and fiddling with his fingers, trying to find the right words to explain what just happened at work. He seems hesitant to say.
"You okay? You can talk to me if something is bothering you." Hesitantly placing your hand on his shoulder, slowly forcing him to look at you. You've known him for years due to babysitting Abby, but he's never opened up.
"Well... it's just..." Mike sighs again, still not meeting your eyes. "...Abby asked me some questions about stuff today."
He rubs the back of his neck, shifting in his seat as if he's about to say something and then thinks better of it. He leans back against the coach, letting out a frustrated grunt as his eyebrows pinch in frustration. "I... I just can't tell her."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" You whisper, staring at him, waiting for a response.
Mike's face softens a little, looking over at you before he sighs, shaking his head. "It's nothing. Abby asked about the job, and... well, it got me thinking..." He shrugs his shoulders again, still looking off to the side.
"Look, I'll tell Abby about it myself, I don't... I shouldn't put it on you..." He sighs one again, staring at the floor.
"If you need me, don't hesitate." You place your hand on his thigh, squeezing it for reassurance. Gaining confidence, you slowly move your body off the couch and sit on his lap.
"Oh..." Mike says quietly, his face turning bright red as you place your hand on his thigh. He looks down at you, his expression of uncertainty on his face changing as his eyebrows rise.
He's speechless, frozen in shock at your touch, and his entire face is practically bright pink. He's suddenly a lot warmer, his chest heaving as his heartbeat picks up speed. "... Y- you're..." he says with the last of his breath, his brain having trouble finding the right words to say.
"Is this okay..?" You grind against his lap, whispering against his ear.
"Shit..." He stammers, his brain desperately trying to process what you're doing. He looks confused, his eyes drifting down to you as his mind races.
"What... what are you... n- no, it's... we can't..." Mike stutters, trying to find a way to reject you. But the longer you're in his lap, the harder it is for him to say no.
"Just relax, Abby is fast asleep in her room.." You grind harder against him, using your index finger to tilt his chin up, making eye contact when you suddenly hear him whimper.
"T- this isn't the time..." he mumbles in response, his eyes closing at the sensation and his whimpers becoming more noticeable.
"W- we shouldn't be doing this..." he whispers, his arms hesitating in the air for a moment before they eventually wrap around your waist. He's still torn between going along with it or saying no, his heart racing as he gazes at you.
"Beg for me to continue." You stop moving your hips, feeling his arousal throb against your ass. Wanting to see how he would react.
"P- please... God.." he whispers, the breath catching in his throat and his voice turning raspy.
He looks at you, his eyes pleading, his body quivering under your control. His heart is pounding out of his chest. He swallows, looking up at you as his entire body screams for you to keep going while his mind fights back.
"You can do better than that.." You tease, breathing against his neck, gently creating bruises as you feel his slightly breath hitch.
Mike whimpers loudly when he feels your bites, his muscles tensing as he tries to relax.
"H- I- please, don't stop..." he murmurs hoarsely, sounding completely different than you've ever heard before. He whimpers again, his head tilted back as he tries to hide the pleasure in his face. He can't believe what he's doing, but he can't turn away.
"Good boy.." Slowly reaching to take off your top, revealing your covered breasts as you start to grind against him, pushing your panties to the side, creating a wet spot on his jeans.
Mike looks down at you, taking in the view as your top is removed, his face getting even pinker as his heart races.
He swallows nervously in response to your wetness, his eyes trailing down your body before they eventually turn back to your face. His cheeks are bright red, his breathing heavy as he glances back down at you, looking into your eyes as you look into his. He takes a long, drawn-out breath, his entire body quivering with anticipation.
"Just take what you want, Mike, no one is stopping you.." You tease, eagerly watching his reaction.
"I- it's..." Mike starts to say, but he can't say no to you, not right now. He leans back, pushing himself deeper into you like he can't help himself, the breath catching in his throat as he takes in the sensation. His eyes are closed as he tries to ignore his own morals.
His eyes snap open, his lips parted as he whispers, "More.."
"You close?" Whispering seductively, moving harder as you feel your climax coming fast.
"Oh, god..." Mike breathes out, his face red, and his eyes roll back into his head. He moans, bucking his hips up against you, feeling himself come close to release as he cums in his pants, feeling you come down from your high.
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fictionismyreality3 · 26 days ago
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your fics are so yummehh. can i request ex to enemies to lovers with ghost pretty please?
Fuck you? Fuck Me! 18+
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Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it, oh god.. it’s smut with feelings 😩mentions of cheating 😡😡
Notes: I’m actually so sorry this took so long I’m a lazy bitch 😀
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"Oh, you know what? Fuck you, Simon."
Slamming the door behind you and stomping down the hall of Simon's apartment building, you bit back the tears, ignoring the looks from the doorman you'd made friends with after many late nights of Simon coaxing you into his bed
That was two years ago now.
You'd moved on, really you had. It had taken probably around 100 shots of vodka during the first few months, the sour, offending taste forcing you to focus on the burn in your throat rather than the burn in your chest. A shitty bullet vibrator, sitting offendingly in your beside drawer, the hot pink piece of plastic and motorized pleasure offering you partial relief when you missed the feeling of your boyfriend— ex-boyfriend— splitting you open on his cock.
You'd gotten over Simon, filling your days with friends, family, the dead-end receptionist job where the coffee was stale and the small-talk was frightning. The pit he left in your chest was stuffed with whatever you could find, and slowly, after many sleepless nights, you forgot it was there at all.
Slamming back the strawberry daiquiri, you let the liquid warm your throat, the sugary-sweet taste making your toes curl and your lips draw into a cheshire like grin. The music was pounding in your ears, and you were sure your head would be ringing when you stumbled your way out onto the pavement.
"Y'still drink those?"
Heart stuttering in your chest, the air suddenly buzzing with a familiar presence you recognized so well.
“Simon.” Short, curt, you offered little to the man who had taken so much of you.
When he’d left you to fend for yourself on so many quiet nights, the flat empty as he went and fought in some country that wasn’t his, there was no worry in his mind about having something to come home to.
You could handle it. You told him you could handle it.
Eyes hardened by violence, hands toughened by the hours of holding a gun and not another person. He didn’t notice. You were always there. Ready to greet him with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.
“Y’look different, luv. I.. Y’look good.” Tartness filled his mouth, his bottom lip between his teeth where it was hidden underneath his mask.
Simon didn’t know how to take care of his things, much less his girl. One night at the bar turned to to two, and his returns got later and later in the wee hours of the morning. He shouldn’t have been shocked enough to feel his stomach churn when you suggested that he was cheating on you.
But that was two years ago.
A mirthless laugh sounded from your lips. “I’m not doing this.”
Fuckin’ stubborn thing.
The crowd of the club parted as Simon stalked after you, a looming figure of anger and bitter frustration that sent lesser men scurrying in the other direction. It was a wonder the door didn’t fly off the hinges when he followed you outside. But, Simon could be careful. He could be patient. Even if the only thing he wanted to do was push you up against the alley wall and-
“Could you just leave me alone?” That was more pathetic sounding that you’d wanted, your face screwing up in displeasure at the way your voice came out warbled.
A frown pulled at his lips, hidden underneath the fabric of his black surgical mask.
“Didn’t cheat on ya, luvie.”
He just had to touch you. If he could just touch you, fuck, even get you to look at him, you would see. He would make you see. But you were all teeth, hissing and snapping at him when he tried to reach out and grab at your wrist— keep fighting, puppy— shying away from his touch like it burnt you.
“Could y’just calm down?” Shackled, arms pinned at your side, he kept you in place. “I’d never fuckin’ look a’ another bird, yeah?”
He nearly bit his tongue off when your gaze fell to the ground again, looking all dejected like a kitten abandoned out on the curb. He had left you alone too long, hadn’t he?
“Simon, I’m not-” You hated how easy it was to let your neck go lax, to let him guide your vision upwards until there was nothing in your sight but him.
Yeah, that’s it. Stop fightin’ so hard. “God, dove, look at ya.” He cooed, relishing in the way your pretty doe eyes stared up at him hesitantly, like you were waiting for him to bite. “How could I cheat on a pretty thing like you, huh?”
No, no god, it was so easy for him to get his hooks in you again, rough hands touching your skin like his palms could reach in and cradle your heart.
“Two years, Simon. Two years.” You hissed. “God, you were never around.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know. But I-”
“No!” Twisting your wrists out of his grip, you launched your attack, fists hitting against a chest that didn’t bow under the weight of your fury. “You were never around! Never gave me a second of your time even when you were there!”
People were staring now, hushed whispers swarming around you in a torrent. A spectacle of a girl barking up at a man twice her size. Some lady stumbling by offered her own intoxicated words of encouragement— get him, gurl!
Simon let you get it all out. He deserved it, really. He didn’t fight as you pounded your fists down on his chest, beating your anger over his heart. You were talking, hell, you were touching him, and that was more than he’d expected given how he’d driven you away. Darker eyes stared down at your flushed cheeks, rosy from the alcohol and the anger.
“You didn’t want me. You d-didn’t give a shit and you know it!”
But his heart clenched when his saw the tears flowing down them, moving more than it had in two years.
What was that thing Price told him?
You don’t take care of your things, Simon, they’re gonna break eventually.
That’s what it was, the heaviness in your eyes, the way your voice seemed hollow even as you screamed loud enough for the next street over to hear. It clawed at him, guilt twisting deeper and deeper with every curse you threw. This wasn’t the girl he drove away. But then again, he wasn’t the same man, purposely blind to anything good around him.
Simon had tried to replace you at first. Hours spent at the range, hours spent sparring and earning new scars, his knuckles cracked from over use. Time should’ve fixed it, but even as he gave the punching bags a break the blood on his hands didn’t stop. A scab he couldn’t stop picking at, the sting of his self-injury the only thing he could do to remind him that his bed wasn’t empty once.
“I never meant ta hurt ya, luv.” His own regret was threatening to spill over his waterline. “Should’a taken better care o’ya, yeah?” You shook your head vehemently at his coos, as if you could will everything that was happening to disappear.
“Could never leave ya, pretty girl.” In any other moment, Simon would’ve been appalled at the teary tone to his voice, but right now he was more concerned with how the love of his life had gone quiet, eyes glued to the pavement.
“I love ya, sweetheart.”
If you would just look at him to see how he meant it. Just look at him, dovie, just look.
“M’in love with ya. Could never ‘ave anyone else.” He was pleading now, just about ready to get down on his knees in the middle of the sidewalk. “Didn’t know how to.. to show it, yeah? Never done this before. Never loved anyone before.”
“Simon, if you’re lying to me..” You began, breath hitching when he took your eye contact as invitation you hold your face in his hands.
There she is.
“Never.” He swore fiercely. “Never cheated on ya, baby. Haven’t touched a girl since y’left.”
The confession made you falter. The Simon shaped hole in your chest searing with need. The desperation in his eyes, it didn’t even compare to how you felt, and you realized that everything you filled it with was only temporary. You needed permanence. You needed Simon.
It didn’t matter how you fell back into bed with him, stumbling through his apartment while he pawed all over you, keeping a hand on you like he was afraid you’d disappear. In the few seconds you had before he corralled you into his bedroom, you got a chance to see how little he’d changed. The apartment was bare, the spaces on the shelves where your things once sat had been left empty, like some sort of twisted altar he was afraid to fill.
You’d missed him. And he knew it.
There was no time wasted in the moments it took Simon to get you bare, his own clothes discarded in a pathetically short amount of time before his was diving into your pussy.
“S-Simon!”
He couldn’t slow down. After so many nights spent fucking into his own hand, the pair of panties he’d secretly kept pressed to his nose, he needed the real thing.
Like a man starved, he lapped at your cunt, the flat of his tongue lapping against your clit in just the way you liked— because of course he remembered— getting you to soak his face. The taste of you made his eyes flutter shut and groan obscenely into your pussy, the vibration making your thighs start to close.
Digging his fingers into your soft flesh, he parted your legs open so he could get nose deep, trying to bury himself in you. The slick seemed to drip out of you, making it easy to curl two of his fingers into your leaking cunt. The sudden intrusion had you keening, blindly reaching out to grasp at Simon’s hair. It had been so long since someone touched you right.
“S’that how ya need it, mama?” He crooned, voice garbled as he swirled his tongue in fast circles, your clit pulsing in his mouth. “Didn’t ’ave anyone ta fuck her like she needs, huh?” The taunt held no real heat as he curved his fingers inside of you, searching for that spot that got you to make the most delicious noises.
“Uh-huh!” You could almost feel the way he was grinning into your cunt. “Needed you, Si.”
Humming in approval, Simon pumped his fingers in you with a speed you had tried, and failed, to replicate alone in your bed late at night. It didn’t take long for the pleasure to start bubbling to an overwhelming point, leaving you teetering on the edge, like a pot left unattended on a stove.
Sucking hard on your clit was all it took, and suddenly you were gushing all over Simon’s face, back arching with a broken cry. He took it all, lapping it up like it was the sweetest nectar all while crooning praises at you, making your head fuzzy.
There was a sense of urgency in the sex-scented air, his once steady hands shaking as he sat up on his heels, eyes half lidded and drunk with desire.
“You can touch me, Simon.”
Parched, he licked his lips, savouring the taste of you lingering on his tongue while he lined his heavy cock up to your pussy. He could’ve cum just by running his head up and down your folds, but he resisted the temptation.
He had to take care of his girl first.
The stretch was intense, your body trying to cope with acclimating to the girth of Simon after having so many lovers who couldn’t give you what you needed. Your limbs tensed, hands threading themselves into Simon’s hair, trying to pull him closer, closer.
“Just relax, sweethear’. You can- fuck, you can take me.” His hips met yours and he slotted himself where he should’ve been this whole time. Home. Your body cradling him exactly how it was supposed to. “Just need someone ta fuck ya proper, huh?”
He was dangerously close to coming, rutting into you with uneven, eager strokes that left you gasping, heels digging into his ass as you wrapped your legs around him. You were no better, eyes rolling back in your head every time the head of his throbbing cock kissed your cervix, little punched out moans being torn from your throat.
“M’sorry-”
He managed a garbled moan. “Shh, none o’ that, ya hear me?” You were so good, apologizing for the mess he’d made.
Barely hanging on by a thread, Simon rested his forehead on yours.
“Love of my life, dovie.” His hands were brushing the hair out of your face, and the sheer reverence in his eyes knocked the wind out of you. Mewling, you kissed messily at his jaw, hungry, trying to show him how much you felt for him when you were too fucked out to talk.
“Si-” Heat seared in your belly. “M’gonna- oh, god, m’cumming, I-”
Toes curling, you watched the world explode from behind your eyelids, barely registering the choked words Simon was babbling in your ear as he spilled himself inside you with a drawn out groan.
“I love ya. Love ya, love ya, love ya.”
In the quiet of his bedroom, both of you panting and emotionally spent, you knew you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
“I love you too.”
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mrsbarnesblog · 4 months ago
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first choice
masterlist
requests are open
summary: being an incredibly reserved person, it took Rafe a long time to finally feel comfortable enough to let you see him break down
words count: 2.5k
warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, talk about feelings, Ward being a shitty father as always, insecurities
a/n: couldn't help myself but mention Wheezie as well because she deserves so much better💔
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The first time you saw Rafe crying was not so long after you started dating. You went to Tanneyhill that day and were nearly knocked off your feet when Ward Cameron stormed out the front door. He was seething with anger and it seemed like he didn’t even register you standing there with wide eyes and a lost face expression. 
You slowly walked into the house, hearing the sound of Ward’s truck driving away, and slowly patted into the light and big kitchen. Your eyes instantly caught sight of your boyfriend, standing with his back facing you and his body hovering over the counter. His hands were firmly gripping onto the edge of the marble, and his head was lowered so you couldn’t take a look at his face behind his hair. When you heard muffled sniffs, your eyebrows knitted in confusion. 
“Rafe?” You almost whispered, talking one step closer to him. Rafe’s body instantly tensed, but he didn’t turn around. His shoulders and back seemed harder than rocks, and you swore his body was shaking from tension. 
You debated for a few seconds, considering what was best to do. Something obviously had happened between Rafe and Ward, and even though they always fought, you never saw Rafe crying. You quickly figured out that he didn’t like to be seen as "weak,” so he rarely showed any emotions, even to you, no matter how hard you tried to create a comfortable environment for him. That’s why you knew that there was no point in trying to make him talk.
When he sniffed again, not moving for an inch or acknowledging your presence, your heart clenched and not waiting anymore, you slowly went closer to him. 
When he felt your arms wrapping around his middle part with your chest firmly pressed against his back, his whole body stiffened at the unusual touch. Rafe had never had someone comforting him, and the whole thing with you constantly trying to go past his walls slightly terrified him. He desperately wanted to just give in, because Rafe knew that you would never hurt him, but something inside his head was still fighting against it.
You held him as close to you as possible, hoping to give him some sense of security. When Rafe’s body finally eased up a little, you turned your head to place kisses on his back while your hands moved up and down his stomach. 
You didn’t know how long you two were standing like this—close to each other and in complete silence. Rafe clearly didn’t want to talk about it and you knew better than to push him. It was a small step for both of you, but you knew that you would do anything to make him feel safe.
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The second time it happened, you were in Rafe’s bed, too invested in your book, when he entered the room. Your gaze shifted to him and you instantly noticed that slightly distant look in his blue eyes, as well as his clenched jaw and rapid breathing. 
You were trying not to be very obvious by the way your instant reaction was to jump out of bed and ask what happened. Rafe was not this type of person and he needed gentle handling. So you went back to your book, only lifting your eyes every few seconds while he silently changed his clothes to something comfortable. 
“I want to cuddle.” You suddenly said, placing a bookmark in between the pages and putting your book on the bedside table. Rafe just looked at you and it felt like your eyes were having their own conversation. He knew that you knew that something had happened and were now just trying to make it seem like you were the one who needed affection, and he was thankful for you not trying to get the information out of him.
He nodded, and the next thing you knew, he was on top of you, arms wrapped around your body, face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers started to brush through his hair and he let out a deep sigh of relief.
The room was silent, except for your quiet breathing; that’s why your ears easily caught a soft sniff. Rafe moved his head back and forth, trying to be closer even if it was impossible, and it made you feel something wet touching your skin. You didn't say a word because you knew that it was not the right time yet. Instead, you left one hand in his hair to massage the scalp and moved another one to Rafe’s back, rubbing it up and down. You let your lips brush against his temple and he tightened his hold on your waist in return.
You didn't know what had happened and you hoped that he would tell you when he felt like it, so for now, you were just giving him the safe space that he desperately needed. It clearly worked, because as Rafe’s body became limp on top of yours and his breathing started to slow down, you guessed that he had fallen asleep. 
The next morning, you were standing in the kitchen and making breakfast when you felt two hands sneaking around your waist and turning you around. Before you could say anything, Rafe gave you a breath-taking kiss, which you knew was his way of saying "thank you."
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At one of Friday’s evenings, you and Rafe’s family and a few closest friends were having a dinner in the restaurant to celebrate Ward’s important deal at work being finally successfully signed. You honestly didn’t listen to the conversation that everyone was having, looking down at your almost full plate, until Ward and Sarah started a little argument about him doing something that she didn’t like. 
“It also turns out that the most important thing for me is you, Sarah. That’s why I did it.” Your heart skipped a beat when your ears caught the end of the conversation, with your whole body freezing in your chair. He said it so easily, not even hesitating or considering the feelings of his other kids, who sat at that exact table. 
Rafe sat near you and your eyes instantly drifted to him, only t just a blank expression on his face. He looked at his father, then at Sarah, then back at Ward. The disappointment and hurt were written all over his features. It was so obvious for you, probably because you spent so much time trying to figure out him and his emotions, yet his father didn’t care. 
Nobody did, honestly, as everyone at the table just brushed that comment off and continued talking. Only Wheezie looked equally sad, with a frown and with her hands crossed over her chest. 
Rafe’s eyes drifted to his full plate as he became completely distant from the conversation, not even paying attention to your worried gaze. He just felt numb. 
It's not like he didn't know that Sarah was everyone’s priority; he just didn't need to hear another reminder of that. 
He hated the feeling of not being good enough. He tried to impress his father countless times, being loyal and jumping at every opportunity to do the dirty work, just to hear any kind of praise or approval. Yet Sarah has always been the best girl, the best daughter, and the best child. 
A quiet groan escaped his lips in desperation, as he felt that similar tightness in his chest and throat. 
It just fucking hurt. 
Your worried eyes didn’t leave him even for a second, and when you noticed in which state he was in, you moved closer so only he could hear what you were saying. 
“Do you want to leave, Ray?” He just nodded, taking your hand in his and making some lame excuse about needing to leave. 
Sitting in his truck a few minutes later, Rafe didn’t even look at you, staring at something through the window. You saw the way he was occasionally clenching his jaw and blinking rapidly—signs that he was trying not to break down in front of you. 
You bit your lip, thinking to yourself, before finally deciding that you couldn’t just look at your boyfriend being hurt. So, tossing your purse aside, you got up from your seat, moving quickly to straddle Rafe’s lap. He looked at you in shock, but still placed his hands on your waist, rubbing the soft fabric. 
“Hey, look at me. You don’t have to keep it to yourself. Your feelings are normal, baby.” You tried to reassure him, holding his face firmly in your hands. 
He furrowed. “It’s just— It’s just that—“ Rafe paused, looking down and trying to control his breathing. You didn’t know whether it was anger or sadness, but as his chest started rising faster, in the darkness of the car, you saw a tear rolling down his cheek. 
Then another, and another, and another. 
Rafe tried to physically distance himself from you, pulling your hands away from his face and throwing his head back with a frustrated groan as the palms of his hands pressed into his eyes. 
“That’s fucking’ pathetic.” He hissed.
“No, it’s not. Stop trying to hide from me and just talk. You know I’m the last person to ever judge you.” You soothed him by softly caressing the skin of his neck with your thumbs, and then took a hold of his face to make him look at you. “Talk to me. It’s just us and no one else.” 
Rafe’s blue eyes seemed even brighter with tears gleaming in them, even though it was dark outside and the only light that you had was a lamppost near the restaurant. He gave you a long look, probably fighting his own barriers inside of his head because of how hard it was for him to open up. You waited patiently, not looking away or rushing him and it must’ve worked.
“The shit that he says and does… It hurts me. No matter how much I try, how much effort I put into everything, or how often I do what he needs and wants, it’s never enough. I’m never fucking good enough for anyone or anything.” You took Rafe’s hand in yours, interlacing your fingers. He instantly focused on it, mindlessly playing with your ring and rubbing your skin. “And I don’t hate Sarah—fuck, I really don’t, ‘cause it’s not her damn fault, y’know? But it makes me so fucking mad and-and I just don’t know what to do or what’s wrong with me.” 
Angry tears continued to flow down Rafe’s cheeks freely, as he was not capable of trying to hide them and wipe them away quickly anymore. You looked at him softly, with your heart aching for your boyfriend and for the way this situation deeply affected him. 
“He does this to Wheezie too. She’s a child, Y/N, and I know how it messes up with her head.” Rafe sighed, throwing his head back and looking at the ceiling. “Sometimes... sometimes I feel like I fuck up everything in my life. I think that maybe it’s my fault for him to act like that. Maybe I do something wrong, I dunno.”
“I know that I can't give you what Ward was supposed to give you. That type of love, I mean. But you’re important to me, Rafe. I won't put you in second place because you're always my first choice.” You freed your hands, again placing them on his wet cheeks. Big blue eyes stared back at you with vulnerability and despair as hands on each of your thighs tightened, so you tried to let Rafe know how much he meant to you. “You are good enough, and don’t you dare think otherwise.” 
You leaned closer, hovering over Rafe’s body, just inches away from his face, before tenderly pulling him into a kiss. 
“You shouldn’t let Ward ruin your life and your relationships with your sisters, because it won’t benefit you in any way. Ward is the problem, not you, Ray, so no matter how hard you try, he won’t change his mind.” You kiss away his tears, still firmly holding his face in your hands. “I’m here for you. I love you, and I hate seeing you kill yourself over this.”
Rafe suddenly pulled you closer by your waist, hugging you with all the strength that he had. His body trembled against you while you soothingly scratched the back of his neck. 
“I love you too. ‘M sorry f’ being a mess.” 
“Don’t say that. Everything is okay, we are okay. I’m happy that you finally opened up to me a little bit, because I support you, okay?” He nodded and kissed your naked shoulder, trying to catch his breath. 
“Thank you.” 
A few minutes later, Rafe’s breathing calmed down and his hands were just slowly going up and down your back. Your legs were already sore from your position on his lap, but it was peaceful with just you two sitting in a comfortable silence, so you didn’t mind. You looked up at him as the idea came to your head. "What if we take Wheezie away from there and go out to eat or ride around?" 
Rafe placed a kiss on your forehead, thinking about your words. His and Wheezie’s relationships were weird, with Rafe feeling distant from his family and her just being a child who didn't know how to handle the situation. But he always had a soft spot for her and he hated thinking about his sister sitting there and being invisible to everybody. 
“Yeah, we can. She’d like that.” He mumbled, focusing on your lips that curled into a smile. 
“Great!” You pushed away from him, opening the door and casually sliding on the floor. Rafe looked at you curiously, silently grateful that you were absolutely normal about what happened just a few minutes ago in his car. His heart suddenly raced, and he could not resist the urge to grab you by the waist and pull you in for a kiss. 
Rafe connected your lips, then slightly tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Your skin got covered in goosebumps as you smiled against his lips before pulling away. Rafe subconsciously followed your face, trying to get more. 
“Fuck, you’re amazing. So gorgeous. I love you so much, baby.”
“You already told me that… but I love you more!” You giggled, taking his hands away from your body. “Now I’ll go get Wheezie, and you remove my lipstick from your face.” You gave him a teasing smile before finally going back to the restaurant and leaving Rafe with a soft smirk on his lips. 
He thought that maybe opening up for you was working much better in his favor than he expected. 
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dior-luxury · 3 months ago
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐬 𝐀 𝐉𝐨𝐤𝐞
( ✧ ) ────── 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 . 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 - 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞𝐫 .
- [𝐜𝐡.] TOP6 . rin itoshi . karasu tabito . otoya eita . yukimiya kenyu . nagi seishiro . shidou ryusei - [𝐩:𝐬] subtle jealousy.
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#Rin Itoshi
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Rin doesn't have a good experience when it comes to telling people how he feels. And it's even more shocking that you managed to wow him enough for him to like you. He, himself, didn't want to admit that he liked you because he didn't want to feel weak. And he believes that if he shows emotion towards you, you'll end up finding him weird. Which is the opposite of what you'd prefer.
He'd try to push himself to talk to you at least once when he realized that he liked you. Whether that'd be a snarky remark of his, or a back-handed compliment. You can imagine his surprise when he finds out that you don't find him weird. Since he's used to everyone in his life hating him in some way.
So when one day, he gets enough courage to talk to you and ask if you want to go on a date, looking to the side as he tries to calm himself down and talk to you. To his surprise, you think he's joking.
He looks at you with semi-shocked eyes. Do you think he's joking? It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. He overthinks his actions and looks at you confused.
Joking? He surely definitely isn't joking. He's serious. Why else would he come out of his way to ask you something as important as a date? Rin just doesn't get it.
"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠? 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮."
He said confidently exaggerating 'like' heavily. He views your relationship with him seriously and wouldn't ever dream about being unserious with you.
#Karasu Tabito
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It's not that hard for him to like someone. Just as long as you stand out to him. Which is very hard for anyone to do. At first, he didn't know how he felt about you, he liked talking to you but didn't understand why he thought about you 24/7. Until he realized that he liked you.
Suddenly whenever he talked to you he talked to you more and began to become more friendly around you, in a way. Karasu never really wanted to tell you that he liked you, fearing that he would mess up your guys' relationship. So instead he just kept his feelings aside.
But that's not what he wanted. Whenever he talked to you he felt like he had to tell you then and there that he liked you... but he couldn't. He just doesn't leave the thought of you being creeped out alone.
He compares himself to you and feels mediocre. Like he doesn't deserve to look at you. From the outside, he seems so confident.
When Karasu finally had the confidence it was when you and him were walking together. There was a long silence when he said he liked you. A long silence that made him regret his actions.
His eyes opened wide when you asked if he was making fun of you. Just like Rin, he values his relationships seriously, it would be a curse if he didn't. Luckily he quickly shot that thought of yours down.
"𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐚'𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰?"
#Otoya Eita
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Otoya doesn't have a good history regarding feelings for people. Especially girls. One day he'll say that you guys are friends, the next day he'll act like you don't exist. He's used to brushing people off to the side whenever he feels like it.
He's known not to take relationships seriously. And would only keep talking to you if you're the one going for it. Or he'll recycle you, and move on to the next person. Claiming he only wants exciting people.
Otoya has done this his whole life, and he doesn't even recognize when he likes someone. Which led to him getting hurt, for a reason he doesn't understand. You're supposed to mean nothing to him. Why does he care about you?
He questions himself for a moment, but quickly ignores himself to go up and talk to you.
Otoya wouldn't try as much when it comes to someone he likes. But will sneak glances at you often, claiming that you're distracting him. And would blame you for making him fall for you.
But when he tells you that he likes you, he already knows what is going to happen. You're confused, taken aback, and hesitant. Not like he's not used to it. He finds people being skeptical around him whenever he says he likes them.
But in the back of his head, he knows that you mean something to him. And wants to have you to himself.
Yet, you are hesitant about how he truly feels about it. You don't want to be used, he knows that. And he says to himself that he'll never use you, and will try to make you see that.
"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞? 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬."
#Nagi Seishiro
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He doesn't know why he likes you. Nagi just thinks of you as a normal person that he talks to sometimes. He stays the same around you as he does for other people, chill, and easygoing. But for you, he may sometimes look at you when you're talking to him.
Nagi often asks Reo to talk to you for him, for many different reasons why. However, he often claims that he's lazy and doesn't want the hassle to get up. And it's true, but he's just worried about how you'll think of him.
Nagi views you as out of his league and wants Reo to help him get with you. Often when he commands Reo to do stuff, like ask you what your favorite games are. He watches from afar watching you two talk.
He hopes that one day he'll end up talking to you, one-on-one, without feeling that small feeling of nervousness he gets. So why not get Reo to do all the talking?
But one day he was feeling different, and he wanted to talk to you himself. He built up the confidence and heard all of the conversations you and Reo had, which helped him get a feel of how you acted and your vibes.
Though he knew he wasn't as outgoing as him, he believed he could do this. He tucked his arm behind his head and said that he liked you, out loud confidently.
To his surprise, you thought he was joking. Nagi's eyes opened wide and his arm dropped a little. What did Reo say her? He said in his head. Wondering how he should go about this.
He took a deep breath and wondered how he should manage to convey how felt this time.
"𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭."
#Yukimiya Kenyu
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Yukimiya understands his feelings very well, and others too. He often takes a calm approach when it comes to discussions about people's feelings. Just as long as they're not related to soccer. Yuki never really had a crush on someone besides when he was little.
But he did often look at people and realized how pretty they were, just like with you.
When Yukimiya first saw you he figured you were also a model just like him. He was so enamored by your appearance that he knew he had to talk to you.
He focused on every single detail about you, but never told you that because he didn't want to be creepy. But instead showed it through his long glances at your face.
Often complemented with a nice smile of his.
Yukimiya knows he likes you, and he accepts it. But it would be a long while till he gets the courage to say it, in fear of rejection. So he plans out a list of what to do before he breaks that ice and tells you his true feelings.
He takes a slow breath in and smiles as he tells you about his feelings. And how much he likes you... But it backfired for him. You weren't so used to people being this nice to you, getting you questioning.
Yukimiya realizes this and instead tries to show you through actions. Showing that he is serious and would never dream about faking it.
"𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲."
#Shidou Ryusei
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Shidou has zero experience when it comes to having a crush. He's not experienced when it comes to liking someone besides how cool they are. He even surprised himself that he managed to find someone that he genuinely liked.
But he doesn't know what to do. Of course, he can go up to you and be all flirty with you, that's him without self-control, and speaking 'self-control', he has zero.
He "tries" to control himself somewhat, because he doesn't want to scare you too bad. So Shidou decides that he'll just 'try' and get along with you normally. He does have a lot of determination to make this work for you and him.
At first, he'll just come off as really "bold and cool" he says, and then slowly let you see how funny he is. Not only for him to get close to you, but to see if you guys would have chemistry.
And when he's finally fully comfortable with you, and sure that you guys could work together. He'll tell you he likes you.
Of course, it comes as a surprise for you, that he likes you. You can't help but feel it is just one of his jokes again. But little do you know he is serious about liking you.
His expression doesn't change when you question him on his feelings. He knew it was going to happen, Shidou instead just listens to you and hears you out.
But after your done questioning him, a large smirk comes on his face and he puts his face close to yours.
"𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮?"
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