#and when she was taking the gnosis she could see her old self in him that was the vibe I was getting? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onyx232323 · 10 months

Text

An Adeptus' Last Wish- Zhongchi fic

(12/30)

More chapters here!<33

Summary-

After the Gnosis incident, Childe decides to take a much-needed break away from Zhongli.

However, how was he supposed to react, when all of a sudden Lumine showed up outside his apartment sounding terribly mortified, "Childe......Zhongli.......Zhongli....is in grave danger."

Of course, he was going to do anything to help the dying man.

Sure, he still felt a lot of contempt for him, after what he did, but his heart still loved him.....

But, what he hadn't expected was the sudden wisp of golden light that somehow transported him during the times of the Archon War?!

What the FUCK?!

________________________

Chapter 12: Realizations, Transformations, and the Meaning of "Home" Pt. 1

Ajax woke up to a glare of sun, shining down on his face.

His head was pounding, hurting from the afterglow of his prior shenanigans the day before no doubt. It felt as if a thousand needles had entered themselves into his head at the very same time, stinging the same spot, until he grew nauseous.

He blinked his tired eyes open and attempted to stand up, only for every muscle in his body to ache and protest against the single movement. He groaned and leaned back down, cursing his life choices.

Great.

He had made an utter fool of himself, yet again in front of his Shizun, Morax. And to top that off, he had managed to overexert himself to the point where he could not even get out of bed.

Now, while Ajax had been under Fatui military training where he was taught self-defense, and how to fight with a weapon. However, during his time in the military, unfortunately for many of the people who had joined it, in dull hopes of bringing enough income to their families or because they wanted the glory and prestige that came along with it. Their higher ranked soldiers that were in charge of teaching the new trainees, were not the exactly the…best…at teaching their classes, and mostly just threw the new soldiers into a fighting pit, telling them that they would hone their fighting abilities that way.

Of course, even at just 14 years old, Ajax knew for a fact, that it was not a good tactic, especially since their was so many trainees hoping to be as good as their fellow upperclassmen, especially not when their higher ranked soldiers were in fact trained personally (most of them at least), by a Fatui Harbinger.

And, while he had been trained to fight that way by Skirk in the beginning. Even she grew to see how erroneous and beastly her ways had been, and quickly began to train with him hands-on. Which entitled many days and nights where she would simply insult him enough for him to get agitated enough that he would willingly attack her, during her bizarre training lessons.

Childe had always thought that she might have felt guilty for having nearly killed him the first day they met; having rebuilt and fortified every bone in his body after breaking them time and time again, after having punctured every single organ in his body, after having spilled half of his blood, and having nearly ripped his stomach wide open with her blades. He thought that her sparring lessons might have been a way for her to repent for her cruel actions, in her own sick way. She wanted to be beaten half to death by Childe, in order to get even with him; though she never admitted to it.

Skirk was a strange master, but, as strange as she was, she was also fair. If Ajax were to get cut by one of her blades, she would allow him to cut him in the very same place as well. And if his arm would get injured, and he would only be allowed to use one arm for the entire fight, she would as well.

She was noble in that way, even as beastly and vile as she might have been.

Unlike the higher ups in the military. Which were nothing but corrupt and vile in their own right. They only did whatever was in their best interest; whether that was worldly desires like sex, drugs, and alcohol, or earning money by trading those same worldly pleasures to some of the other higher ups.

In fact, Tartaglia had seen first-hand just how many higher ups or Harbingers would pick up their favorites from the bunch, and carefully groom them to become weapons or personal servants of their choosing; promising riches, fame, and power....all of which were white lies.

And how the same higher ups that he was told were there to guide him would personally hand their juniors out like a prize to be won to the sick seniors.

Of course, he tried to stop it as much as he could, and would even pay the officials out for the poor trainees, and would advise them to be more careful. Celestia knows just how many higher ups attempted to ‘buy’ him from Pulcinella for a night or two, or even to use him however they pleased, when he was just 16.

It was shortly after Pulcinella took him under his wing directly after he had been promoted several ranks up in just 2 years. He was impressed and wanted to guide the boy in order for him to become a great warrior.

Luckily, Pulcinella was one of the decent Harbingers, with enough morals to not be bent by the sheer promise of money. He angrily refused and promptly had the same people, mysteriously disappeared. He was probably one of the few Harbingers Ajax trusted with his life.

In fact, he was the only one.

Pulcinella was always disgusted by the other higher ups' antics and refused to budge, he was one of the few people in Ajax’s life that have seen him as nothing but a son. He saw the boy’s potential and wanted to help him achieve success, with no other ulterior motives. He was a good person amidst all of the trash and garbage that hid themselves under pretense of being righteous and dignified, fighting solely for Her Majesty's best interests.

It was all a pile of dog shit, and those very same people knew it, deep down.

They were nothing but a bunch of sickos, with a desire to be in a position of power in order to be able to harm others in twisted and disgusting ways. Even years later, Tartaglia still had to face the perverse stares of those who saw him as something else but Her Majesty’s personal Vanguard.

It was something else, something dark, something unwanted and something that made Ajax uncomfortable. He knew the stares of the lord’s and lady’s that would come and visit the palace, he knew what their lust-filled stare’s meant.

He wasn’t naive, though he pretended to be.

They wanted him in a way that he did not, he did not miss the familiar lingering touches they would leave on his waist whenever they would stand next to him, or the filthy stares they would give him. Tartaglia was not ignorant of what it meant, they wanted to wreck him, and merely saw him as another pretty face to add to their repertoire of many pretty faces that followed them.

They did not like him for his skill battle, as much as they claimed it was for that reason. In fact, they had even offered The Tsaritsa herself a generous sum of mora, in the millions of thousands in exchange for her 11th.

And well, as icy as Her Majesty might have grown to be, she was notorious for being rather possessive over her Harbinger’s and their individual safety; working as a sort of twisted mother-figure.

She would promptly leave her throne, expression neutral, and carefully make her way down the steps of her throne in a dignified way, light and airy, her long gown trailing behind her like a waterfall. Then, she would reach out of the lord or lady and promptly freeze them to death with a grip of her icy hand, turning their very lips blue and throats bursting from the icy spikes that burst through them.

It was a macabre scene, every single icy spike would burst through the poor fool’s throats like a sick needle weaving a dignified gown fit for a queen. He would watch as the blood would weep down their throat, gushing red and silken like honey, slowly and putrid. Then, she would let go of them, throwing them to the side as if they were mere dirty rags to her and wipe their blood on her gown.

She would spare them but a single repulsed glance; would turn around once more, not caring for the outcry that would follow as the fool’s entourage would chastise her and cry out for the death of their lady or lord. And they two would meet their demise, only not by Her Majesty but by the guards who would drag them out and throw them into a cell.

For a reason unknown to him, he was strangely favored by The Tsaritsa.

One theory he had come up with, was that perhaps she reminded him of her late son, something that was an open secret to the inhabitants of the Zapolyarny Palace.

He had seen the portraits and countless paintings of a young boy with blond hair, his face scratched off. As well as the countless family portraits that were scratched out, the only one remaining was Her Majesty’s soft expression gazing at the painter in front of her.

She looked happy in these portraits, unlike the permanent frown on her face whenever she would request an audience with him. It was an open secret that The Tsaritsa had a happy family, some time ago. But, during the Archon War, her husband and son had tragically died, details of their exact death have remained unknown for centuries.

Her life was ripped away from her, before she could grasp at it. She was left alone, a God of Love with no one left to love. Her love was ripped away from her, she was devastated, and soon enough, her heart began to freeze over. She was no longer the gentle and benevolent god she used to be, but a cold and cruel one. She did not have any love left for her, so she left none for her people.

But as much as her people say that she’s unfeeling as she makes herself to be, they are wrong. Childe has seen her benevolence time and time again, her kindness shine through. He saw it in the way she would send physicians to her Harbingers quarters after they had been badly hurt, and insisted on them taking a break after battle. He saw it in the way she would refuse other rich lord’s and lady’s money whenever they would offer to bed any of her Harbinger’s for intel on any of her enemies or financial support.

And although Ajax had been in

She was still the archon she used to be, although deeply wounded.

A part of Childe wondered if she specifically chose her Harbingers. It had to be for a reason, he always thought to himself. But, what?

He now knew.

Her Majesty, The Tsaritsa has always been an Archon of Love, even afterwards. She would always love her people, that was just who she was to her core. As much as she tried to cover up her love, it would always seep out through the cracks in her tightly fabricated mask.

Perhaps that’s why she chose the loneliest people as her loyal Harbingers, people that were abandoned by Celestia, just like her. Perhaps she found solace in them, knowing that she too was just like them.

Every single Harbinger was abandoned by Celestia, they were left to rot in the dark crevices of Teyvat, with no one left to turn too.

Ajax was sure as hell that The Tsaritsa knew of his past, knew of every single misdeed he had done, every single lie he had told, his sin. He was sure he did. How could she not?

It was evident to every Celestial being that Ajax was nothing short of a monster. An Abyssal beast, no longer human, no longer humane, with bloody impulses. Was that why she allowed him to enter the Palace?

Was that why she welcomed him, and personally buttoned that insignia on his jacket and re-birthed him through a new name, “Tartaglia. You shall no longer be known as anything else my dear Vanguard. You are Tartaglia now.”

Tartaglia smiled and bowed down before His Majesty, watching as she hummed and passed an ice cold hand through his hair, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Did all Archons know of his corruption? Could all beings made from pure elemental energy sense the overwhelming stench erupting from his very pores?

Did he know he was tainted by The Abyss?

Was it evident the second they met, was it something he brushed to the side for the sake of cordiality? Was it something he brushed off for the sake of camaraderie?

If so, then why was he still so gentle towards something that had destroyed his land centuries ago, something that had killed the very beings he loved so dearly. Why didn’t he express his resentment? Or any type of prejudice against him? Why-

“You shouldn’t put much strain on your body. From what I’ve heard from Cloud Retainer, not everyone is used to our strenuous regimen of exercise. Your muscles are probably sore from the rigorous training you’ve subjected your body to, it's best not to stand up for now.”

He looked up, snatched out of his trance after so long. Morax stood in front of him, tall and domineering in his stance, eyes intense and frown evident. He was dressed in new clothes it seemed, a loose white dachang with white accents on the sleeves. Embroidered on them were small dainty flowers, they seemed to be pink camellias. He was carrying a small tray, with what appeared to be a bowl of something.

He instinctively sat up once he saw Morax leaning down, but winced when he felt his muscles protesting against the excessive movement, letting out a small groan. He was too sore to even function and the fact that he had slept on a straw mat, with nothing but a small blanket on top, certainly did not help his aching muscles.

Morax frowned, placed the bowl down, before helping Ajax sit up, “Don’t move too much. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Ajax didn’t say anything, and just obeyed, sitting up pathetically with the help of Morax. Then, he felt Morax place something onto his back, it was a small pillow(?). It was in an odd shape, a cylinder, but it was soft nevertheless and helped support his aching back.

Morax seemed to pause momentarily before he spoke up, “I brought you something to eat,” he slid the plate towards Ajax.

It was an odd gesture, but familiar nonetheless.

He nodded, uttering a quick, “..thanks...”, before he picked up the bowl and inspected it. It was a small bowl of what appeared to be rice porridge, it was a common dish used for treating ailments if his memory proved him correct. It had bits of chopped green onions in it, as well as small bits of ginger, with small bits of chicken as well. As soon as Ajax took a bite, the flavor exploded into his mouth although very delicately.

Judging from the flavor, it was most likely made by Madame Ping and Guizhong. Although Guizhong was not exactly an accomplished cook; that much was evident when she stayed over at Ajax’s once more to watch over Ganyu once again, and well….nearly set the kitchen on fire.

However, since then, she has really improved. She could now cook simple dishes, and they were actually pretty good. And well, Madame Ping was always there by her side to make sure she wouldn’t light the kitchen ablaze, so that definitely improved her cooking skills.

Although, Ajax had a large suspicion that her ‘sworn sister’ was really just there, to hopelessly pine over her shijie.

Like cmon’!

It wasn’t as if Ajax was oblivious to the way his dajie would look so reverently at his shijie. Of course, poor Madame Ping had to face the fact that her shijie was oblivious to her feelings. Whenever she would do anything even remotely romantically charged, Guizhong would laugh it off, and pat her on the back regarding her as her sworn sister with pride. His idiotic shijie missed the way Ping stared at her as if she was the center of her entire universe, and the way she would merely sigh at her rejection and carry on playing her zither.

It hurt to watch.

He had suspected it for a while; the secret glances his friend had swiped at Guizhong, and the fond expression she only reserved for Guizhong.The way she would go along with Guizhong with whatever she would do. The way she would write countless songs dedicated to Guizhong, though she disguised them as being solely for her training. The way she would earnestly help her on her inventions and give her input as well, and even carry some of the heavy work by herself.

It was too much, way too much.

________________________________

He had confronted Ping about it a while ago, the day after A-Qiu’s funeral service. He had seen the way she comforted Guizhong and had cleaned her tears delicately with the ends of her sleeves, her expression loving and bittersweet. The way she embraced Guizhong with all she had, as if she too was going to disappear. The way she had gently whispered sugar coated lies into her ear, a few ways away from the funeral site, and held her close, after she had left the funeral early and too hastily.

He too had followed after his shijie, in order to make sure she was alright, but it seemed as if someone had caught up before him. He saw as she held her close, trapping her in the frame of her body, stroking small patterns into the back of her white robes. She was crying as well, but not nearly as harshly as Guizhong was. She was practically screaming out in pain, clinging onto her shimei’s clothes for dear life.

The way she held her close, and the way she looked at her shijie, felt too personal. And all of a sudden, Ajax grew too aware that he was there. It felt as if he was disrupting a private moment, he wanted to leave immediately. He turned around, deciding to ask Ping what had transpired, later on.

And he did.

He caught up to Madame Ping, playing her zither in the very same spot he had found her the day prior. She was playing silently, the tone of her instrument melancholic and somber, but bittersweet all the same.

She opened an eye, and gave a small smile, “Shidi. What are you doing here?”

He smiled back and shrugged, “Thought you could use some company.”

Her smile widened and she scooted over, to give him space on the same stone he found her sitting on, “I do.”

He sat on the stone and hesitated for a minute, deciding how it would be best to say something like this. After all, Ajax had never been the best when it came to maintaining friendships, at least not close ones. All of the friendships he had were a result of something disastrous, and it felt as if he was walking on glass every time he talked to Lumine or even Katya.

But, he decided to give it his best shot, “So what piece are you working on this time, dajie?”

She paused a bit before she glanced towards the river beside them, “I’m not quite sure to be completely frank. I am stuck in a conundrum of sorts, one that I can’t seem to leave at the moment.”

Ajax raised his eyebrow, “What is it about-the conundrum I mean. What is it about?”

She looked back at him, her eyes were hesitant, “Well…I have someone I cherish deeply, but I-I’m afraid their affections lie elsewhere…And, I’m not sure how to deal with this loss of mine, how do I?....Do you know how to?”

Oh.

Ajax had not expected that. Not at all.

Her voice sounded painfully defeated and at a loss, as if she was going through a second death of someone she loved. Her eyes were distant and distinctly hurt, and she looked as if she wanted to cry but ultimately held it in.

He looked at her and let out a large sigh, “To be honest, I don’t really know either, dajie. It’s actually pretty ironic that you are mentioning that, because I’m going through a very similar conundrum myself. One that I haven’t personally figured out myself. So, I don’t know, you just sort of learn to live with it and slowly that feeling starts to dwindle until it fades away completely.”

She nodded, “I see…It’s just-I’ve never felt this way before. At least not to this extent for someone else in all of my years of life. I feel as if a piece of me has been ripped away when I think about them being with somebody other than I......I feel awful, so awful I can’t even concentrate on my meditation. This...feeling of mine has completely taken over my life, it's so overwhelming that I’m afraid it's going to ultimately swallow me completely. I….would like to get rid of it.”

He nodded, feeling at a loss as well. He never expected his dajie to be going through something so painfully similar to what he was going through. He stared up at the starless sky, and closed his eyes before he started out slowly, “Well… just what is it that you like about this person?”

She too looked up at the starless sky as well, closing her own eyes, “I…I’m not so sure I know. While I like their neverending kindness, I selfishly want it all for myself. I want to hold them as closely to me as possible, I want to hold all of their light to myself. I oftentimes find myself fascinated by their bright smile, their captivating beauty, the way they extend their light to everything that they touch. I like her mind, the way she could think about a new way to improve one of her older designs. The way she never stops pursuing knowledge, and the way she never gives up on what she has set her mind to, no matter the setbacks. The way she laughs, the way she cries, the way she talks.....I’m afraid I like it all..”

She trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

Ajax was startled by the bursting confession thrown before him, but welcomed it nevertheless. If at least he could not help himself and his own disastrous love-life then perhaps he could help someone else.

Now, he was sure that she liked Guizhong.

He opened his eyes and looked at Madame Ping, “I…Dajie…are you perhaps in love with shijie?”

She opened her eyes abruptly, panic filling them, her cheeks turned slightly pink even under the yellow light emitting from the lamp posts around them, “I-”

Seeing as she looked like a frightened deer, he patted her shoulder reassuringly, “Hey, it’s fine if you do. I’m not here to judge or anything, trust me.”

As if he would judge her for liking Guizhong, he was sure that if he was not completely head over heels in love with Zhongli, he would have a crush on her as well. That was perfectly valid, and besides he is 40% sure that Zhongli himself also had a crush on Guizhong himself as well. Having a crush on Guizhong is perfectly valid, he was sure most of her devoted followers had a crush on her as well.

She didn’t reply at first, but eventually nodded, “Yes..”, she scratched the side of her cheek nervously, “ Is it obvious?”

He nodded and suddenly felt like teasing the poor senior, “Yeah, too obvious. Really, you should hide your infatuation a little better when you’re comforting her, dajie.”

Madam Ping’s face looked petrified as she stared blankly at Ajax, “You…saw that?”

“Yep, clear as day, dajie. It was painfully obvious that you were crushing hard on her.”

She winced at that, and nodded, short and curt, “I see…I just…”

“Can’t help it....Yeah, I get that.”

She nodded, absentmindedly playing with the ends of her billowing sleeves, “Yes. I…I don’t know when it all started. I keep trying to go back to the exact moment where I had begun to like her, but nothing comes to mind. It just…happened.”

Celestia above, did that hit home for Ajax.

He leaned back in his seat, laying down on the round rock, feeling how the rock made his spine curve in an uncomfortable way, “Yeah, I get that too. It was the same for you, you know. I didn’t know when I liked him, it just happened. Of course, I found him attractive when I first met him, but I didn’t think much of it. Until, that attraction started to expand towards every word that fell from his mouth to the way he walked.”

She hummed, “...How long have you liked Shizun?”

That made him pause.

WHAT?

This time, it was him that jumped up from his seat, feeling as his face heated up and his heart beat went a mile a minute, “What? No! I don’t like him! Not at all! I…”

He slowed down as soon as he saw the shit-eating grin on Ping’s face. He gave up denying it and felt his shoulders slump down and his hands come front to cup his face, “I…I’m not so sure either. I just started to feel some type of way,” he sighed, “But, I can’t. I know I can’t. It’s just….complicated.”

She hummed once again, this time patting his head, “I understand…Love is a complicated thing, is it not?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

She nodded, “If it were easy, we would not be stuck in this predicament.”

She stopped her ministrations before she carefully plucked at her guzheng, conjuring a melody of notes; they were somber but all the same yearning for someone unattainable.

They sat there in silence for the rest of the night, listening to the hum of cicadas, the plucking of strings and the melancholic melody that erupted from the guzheng.

They would always pine for someone unattainable, no matter how much time passed, their love would remain and never fully fade away throughout the passage of time.

___________________________

Morax never left his side, even after he painstakingly scooped up spoonful after spoonful of jookand gulped it down. He sat down next to him, and watched him as if he was witnessing the most interesting thing happen right before his eyes.

It unnerved Ajax, just how Morax watched him.

It was a gaze filled with nothing but pure hunger.

A hunger so vast and so unfulfilled inside of the man before him, a lust so drawn out for centuries waiting to escape. It got to a point where Ajax could swear he had seen the man staring at his lips, looking as if he wanted to rip them out of his face with his own teeth…very strange.

As he shifted around, he would see the Archon following his every movement like a starving predator waiting for its prey. He tracked his every breath, his every movement with his eyes, that seemed as if they were nothing but slits.

He could not take it anymore, and hurriedly ate the remaining soup, wiped his mouth and carefully pushed the bowl back to him, “I’m done..”

The Archon nodded, before he inched closer towards Ajax.

He came closer and closer, until he could feel his warm breath tickling his cheek. Everything in him seemed to shut down as he saw the Archon’s eyes drinking him in, as if he was a delicacy. He felt himself stiffen as the Archon grew near.

Then, before he could react, he felt a soft touch on the corner of his lip. He glanced down to see a small grain of rice on the god’s finger, he glanced up to see the Archon lick it off his finger, “You....forgot a spot.”

AHH-

The Archon nonchalantly retreated back before he picked up the bowl, carrying it off. Ajax watched frozen in place as he watched the god leave, turning the corner to what he presumed was a kitchen or something of the sort.

Ajax felt as if he was going to die of utter embarrassment, he shriveled up with it in fact. He felt his heart beating out of his clothes, wanting nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

‘What the fuck was that?!’

__________________________

His question was not answered for the remainder of the day, as the horde of adepti came to his Shizun’s domain, after having heard of Ajax’s condition.

Unfortunately for him, his muscles were sore to the extent that, whenever he would try to stand up, his legs would wobble like a baby fawn’s. When he first tried to stand up, he toppled over, which was embarrassing. The second time he tried to stand up, he was caught by Morax, who frowned at him, “It’s worse than I had anticipated…You are falling over like a newborn adepti, that’s not good. I’ll go ask for Cloud Retainer. “

Ajax groaned in embarrassment, digging his face into the palms of his hands; both at the slight jab to his ego and the fact that Morax’s hand was nestled onto his waist. However, his groan only prompted Morax to worry further about him, carefully setting him down, and grabbing his face with his hands, “Are you alright?”

Celestia above! He really needed to stop doing that!

He nodded, face ablaze, “Yeah…I’m fine…just a little sore is all, Shizun.”

Morax’s eyebrows seemed to furrow, and he started to inspect Ajax’s face, turning it from side to side and leaning in closely. He leaned in closely, that his forehead touched Ajax’s. Morax paused for a moment before he shook his head, “It seems like you have a cold....you are burning up, and are bright red.”

That was not why he was “burning up”, but he did not know how to tell the poor Archon, so he just shook his head slightly, “No, I’m fine. I’m just sore and tired, I need a quick nap and I’ll be fine.”

Morax shook his head, gaze firm, “No, you are not. I will be back as soon as I can. Do not move.”

What was he supposed to do? Disobey his orders? Psht, no. He was weak against this man, that had been an established thing. He gave a curt nod and watched as Morax left.

A few minutes later he woke up to everyone staring holes into him.

He paused a bit, before he stood up; but, when he did, he felt every single bone in his body burn. It felt awful and he felt awful, it felt as if everything was on fire, he felt his bones itch. What the hell?

He yelped out in pain and immediately recoiled back down.

Guizhong rushed to his side, helping him lay back down, “Shidi! Are you okay?!”

Her eyes were wide and filled with worry, she looked terribly worried. Incredibly worried so much that he felt guilty for feeling like shit, so he gave his best faux smile and nodded, “Yeah, of course shijie. Why wouldn’t I b-”

He felt another sting to his muscles, and let out a groan, “Fuck.”

Mountain Shaper was the one who was at his side now, he was in his human form. He placed his hand on his wrist. Then, after a while, let out a small sigh, “His meridians are expanding, his body is going through a lot of stress right now. The final transition from a human to an adeptus is currently expanding his meridians and filling them with spiritual energy, as well as redoing his very skeletal structure-"

Yeah, but wasn't he already an adeptus, he already had the fangs and the horns and the wholeshebang and what not?

"But, aren't I already technically an adeptus already?"

Mountain Shaper looked irritated at his interruption but continued nevertheless, "No, you have yet not. Although, you may have begun your transition from human to adeptus a long time ago, this is the final evolution of what was already started.….Have you noticed anything abnormal going on in your body? Increase in appetite, fatigue, drowsiness, increased stamina?”

Well…he had noticed that he had required more food than normal. But that was a given, considering Cloud Retainer and Morax kept pouring more food onto his plate, even after he refused. But, he had also noticed that he had increased energy when he went out on his usual patrols with Cloud Retainer, even going as far as to instigate more fights with the rifthounds that were miles away from their small village. And now that he really thought about it, he did notice he was getting a lot more tired after those small bursts in energy.

…….Well shit….now what?

He nodded, and through gritted teeth he said, “Yeah-AH!!”

He bit his hand in order to stop the scream from escaping his throat as his entire body felt like it was being engulfed in flames, and charred. The pain made him nearly lose consciousness, and he barely registered the concerned voices calling out to him.

The next he noticed was Morax in front of him, molten eyes intense and pupils blown wide, “Stop! You are hurting yourself!”

He blinked, drowsy. He looked down at his arm, his palm was bleeding, blood was dripping down his forearm. It was dark and viscous, it looked scarily red on his pale skin. He felt his mouth in pain, as dazedly brought his tongue over his teeth, yelping out in surprise as he felt a pair of sharp fangs protruding out. They were far sharper and longer than he had remembered to be.

Guizhong carefully wrapped his wound up, with long bandages, her eyes wide and scared.

The pain came in waves after that, some worse than others. Madam Ping had gone to her own domain and had brought strong pain medicine, used for adepti only. She had made it herself and had personally dried and ground up all of the herbs herself.

The medicine was bitter, too bitter in its taste. But, it worked because afterwards he barely felt the pain. The waves of pain felt like a cotton ball was being dragged over his entire body.

Ultimately, they had all decided to take turns watching Ajax’s condition. Some of them would go out to watch over the outer border to see if any incoming attacks were coming, while the rest stayed to watch over Ajax.

Cloud Retainer and Moon Carver went to watch the outer border, while the rest stayed behind. Guizhong and Morax stayed by his side like rice candy stuck to your gums, constantly fretting over his condition. While Ping, Mountain Shaper, Sky Bracer would routinely watch over Ganyu and made sure to change his bandages and change his cold compress.

Ajax felt lethargic, every single bone in his body seemed to ache, and even his mouth hurt. However, besides that, he felt strangely warm surrounded by adepti who cared about him very much, who cared about him so earnestly.

He felt strangely at......

Home.

2 notes · View notes

auroragothcs · 2 years

Text

TWs and CWs: Mentions of violence, injury, cannibalism, human experimentation, disordered eating, recreational herbs and detachment to a sense of self.

| Il Dottore Headcanons (pt.4).

76. Really accepting of people, just in a "It's okay, I want to study people like you too" way which is not ideal, but could be worse considering everything.

77. Snaps his teeth at Pantalone when he calls him "Dottie" and tries to touch him affectionately.

78. He grinds his teeth when he's becoming overwhelmed by work and it led to a tiny piece of his tongue missing.

79. The closes are one of his most useful and welcomed creations in his life since they understand him and each other in ways no one else could and often push him to take a break while they take care of things.

80. Gets dragged out of his lab and office by his collar at least once a week, no one bats an eye at it anymore.

81. He probably doesn't even have a bed that he considers his anymore, throwing hinself over his desk and crashing when he's too tired to keep on working.

82. Got banned from a small teashop he enjoyed going to and eating baked goods at because he offered to buy the owner's recently deceased daughter, never harmed him since he genuinely kinda liked the place and workers but is still very grumpy about it.

83. Invests his free time into finding cures and better treatments to illnesses and sells the recipes, the chosen "volunteers" to these experiments are rude subordinates.

84. One of his clones has a broken tooth that he refused to fix because he bit into one of his delusions to "eat it back" after hearing that it consumed vitality.

85. People staring at him face makes him feel insecure and the old mask did very little to soothe that so he enjoyed the change quite a lot.

86. Rubs his hands red if he feels dirty or guilty.

87. Has a birthmark on his waist/belly, it looks like a wobbly little heart and he pokes at it every time he sees it.

88. Freckled king, they're very light and not many people see him from close enough to notice, but grow in number and intensity on his shoulder blades.

89. Jokingly asked the Tsaritsa for permission to boil and eat her gnosis once he got comfortable enough to talk more freely around her, she found it funny enough that she offered to let him do that to someone else's.

90. Asks questions at dizzying speed and gets mad when no one can keep up enough to answer them all.

91. He takes boiling hot showers/baths to soothe chronic pain and help him relax but needs to have a clone around beceuse he faints every damn time and they're the only ones he's comfortable being naked around.

92. Prime has night terrors when he actually sleeps instead of his usual crashing, not even the clones know what of.

93. Dottore enjoys the power his position brings and how it affects his dynamic in nearly any social situation, taking advantage of how no one would dare to say a single bad thing to/about someone who earned the Tsaritsa's approval, at least not in front of him, of course.

94. He carries a handkerchief embroidered with traditional designs from his homeland and is unwilling to leave it all in the past no matter how much he pretends not to be.

95. Cats like him a lot and he's confused but overjoyed.

96. Sways his hips a little while performing surgeries and experiments since humming repetitively helps him keep pace and track of time.

97. Fears that a clone could take over his identity and that no one would notice, they all have a similar fear.

98. Would not-so-secretly DROOL over Lady Gaga's music.

99. Knows Lisa and Baizhu in passing because they studied at the same library table sometimes but were all far too focused to talk, probably remembers them well enough to recognize with some prompting.

100. Pantalone refuses to give him more funds for his lab but will give him expensive gifts like bath oils and coats if he notices that Dottore looks stressed.

#V Dottore hcs #fatui harbingers #fatui headcanons #harbinger headcanons #genshin impact #genshin headcanons

31 notes · View notes

husbandohunter · 3 years

Note

May I request a Childe X Reader fanfic where the reader has been pushing herself too hard lately and so Childe has to forcefully get her to rest? ty

By my side [Childe x Reader]//Genshin Impact

Synopsis: You were an artist and he was an adventurer. Two people from vast backgrounds and Childe just wants to spend some time of his busy life with you. However, things didn't really go his way...at first.

(Childe x F!reader. Its all fluff)

(A/n): Perfect request anon. I too, would like to have a Childe in my life. Been getting 5-6 hours of sleep on average 😃😁. Yeah kind tossed some extra ideas with artist s/o, its a perfect reason for anyone to be busy.

============================

Once recieving the permission to take a week off from his diplomatic duties, the first thing Childe thought of was none other than his lovely significant other.

The harbinger knew quite well what lays ahead of his ventures to Liyue. During his quest for the archon's gnosis, he encountered many interesting events, such as meeting the rumoured traveller hailing from afar and a broke yet courteous man who turned out to be the ultimate ruler of this very country he walks upon then there was the battle against a dead god until he revived it using the sigil of permission. All of them were great additions to his story as Ajax the hero, something he always wanted to pursue since childhood. In which, also gave him something nice to write about when preparing letters for his siblings living back home. But little did the harbinger know that he'll one day bump into the heroine. A little too soon. Through your little art shop, he met you, a sweet and audacious woman with plenty of humour. That was how it all began.

While he strides down the streets between Liyue's exquisite buildings, Childe suddenly stops in his tracks and looks up to the sky. There, was painted a scenery of an evening dusk, sun rays relfected across until red and orange hues cast a river stream that led to the ends of the world. He watched the birds follow that streak like it was a path made for them to fly towards. A new adventure. You would have loved to captured this in your pictures.

And then he wonders, what might you be painting right now?

"Hey babe, I'm home~"

In a sing-song voice he calls out to you by your nick-name. You knew that Childe was an active member of the Fatui and that his time was limited, hence he made sure to write to you as well. Of course long distant relationships only makes the waiting more anticipated. When he does pay a visit, you'd run straight into his open arms, leaping off your feet to engulf him in one enourmous embrace. Then his hands will hold against your waist as he spins your round and around in the air, stealing the laughter out of your lungs before planting you back on the floor. Sometimes Childe would consider that being far away wasn't be such a bad idea as long as he was able to experience this, the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. However...

"That's great."

He was met by a response similar to the wintry grace of Snezhnaya.

Huh?

All the fantasies he had from earlier shatters in the background as he stands there frozen. You didn't even spare a glance to the entrance, eyes still glued to the large canvas displayed at your front, too busy to even care. Childe clicks his tongue between the awkward silence with an uncertain expression. When there was no signs of initiation on your part, he shuffled his way to where you were and observes from behind.

"Well you're particularly quiet today," he muses to himself, placing a hand over his hip, "I guess that painting of yours must be really important then."

It was obvious that he was trying to nudge you into his favour. Something that you've found endearing was how quickly your boyfriend can be when he's in a needy state. So you quickly twisted over to peck him on the cheek before going back to work.

"That's better," Childe satisfiedly grins, "So who is this project for?"

"It's a commission requested by a wealthy family serving the Qixing. They're really influential in terms of the market and can really give me a competitive edge. I have to get it done in five days."

His tone flactuates as he squints his eyes, "Five days you say," he disliked the news of your schedule taking over his own, Childe only managed to take a week off and after that, he'll be away for quite some time, "Why don't you take a break? From the looks of your progress, it seems to me that you've been working on it for hours. I've got plenty of interesting stories to tell and you know, nothing can compare to sharing a warm meal within your company," he leans down to your ear level, "How does that sound?"

Several seconds went by as he waits for some sort of reaction, "Oh. Right," you blurted out and the harbinger only smiles, "I made some food earlier this morning. You can go help yourself if you're hungry."

Today was not his day.

Childe pulls out the wooden chair and slumps into the seat, a defeated huff escaping his mouth as he stared at the crystal shrimp placed on the table. It was hastily wrapped by plastic, most likely cold for a while, just like the romantic evening he had planned in his head. Normally you'll be sitting on the otherside while listening to the many tales he went through along the way. Although painting was your passion, it was undeniable that you also enjoyed his kind of lifestyle if you ever had the choice. He was rather surprised on how someone ambitious like him would end up with such a simplistic person but quickly accepted it as life was meant to be unpredictable, just the way he likes it. As Childe entertains you with his stories, he'll listen to your giggles amidst eating the homecooked meals that you both prepared together.

"I wonder if she ate already," he mumbled to his lone self. You most likely did but Childe knows you well. Artists are obsessed and they can go as far as to neglecting their own health for the sake of their masterpieces. Hence, he made sure to remind you to eat properly through the letters he wrote to you.

The harbinger takes a quick glance around the kitchen. It was a mess. The cupboards were slightly opened, metal pots were still displayed on the stone stove and the stench coming from the sink....

Childe pushes himsel up to see what was the cause.

Not even the dishes were washed.

Running his fingers through his bangs, he sighs wearily, "Old habits die hard huh?" And above all else, when artists are obsessed they also forget how disorganized they can become. Childe begins to roll up his sleeves before taking off his gloves. At times like this he'll have to pitch in and take care of it for you, "Looks like I'll be here for a while."

Throughout three sunsets and three moonrises, Childe had no option but to observe you from afar, minus the few attempts he made to regain your attention again. How you would go to bed much later than him, waking up before he opens his eyes and the effort he put into making your food only left with too many leftovers. It wasn't that you were unappreciative, instead, your mind had become too focused that your body was considered a second priority. Like anyone else, Childe genuinely thought you possessed great talent and supports you wholeheartedly. He loved it when you painted pictures just for him as if they were scenes coming out of his hero story, reminded by his adventures, capturing every detail. However he also needed to learn how to deal with this stubborn side of yours.

"Hey babe, I just finished preparing our dinner. Don't you smell that? Such a rich aroma, you should go eat."

"I'm busy."

Your diet were just small bites, the rest being substituted by coffee. Childe could clearly tell that you weren't getting enough sleep either as there were dark circles forming underneath your eyes and slowly, he was starting to become a little irritated.

Three hours passed midnight but you were still awake in the same place doing the same thing. Childe leans against the doorframe with arms folded, already changed into his sleeping clothes. He clears his throat to break the silence, "Ahem."

Your wrist hangs in mid air by the sound of a strange visitor, it was your boyfriend. Gaze in a daze, you lazily turned your head, "What time is it?"

"Way passed the sleeping hours as you can see," he points with his thumb at the table clock in a half-hearted manner, "You should already be in bed by now and don't think you can coax yourself out of the situation this time," his eyes parted in slits as he added with a smile, "Otherwise I might just have to force you myself."

You shook your head, "Give me one more hour? There's some finishing touches I really want to add so," clasping your hands together, you beamed sweetly, "Pretty please? I'll finish up soon."

"Oh really?" Childe challenges, head tossed back like he was interrogating you instead, "I believe that was also what you told me yesterday. And the day before? Adding up all of those days that would be.....four in total?" He deliberately counts upon his fingers before facing you again, this time his expression was slightly more serious, "As much as I find your determination remarkable, there are moments when you need to consider a sufficient amount of rest and this just isn't going to cut it."

"Four days already?!" You exclaimed, "Jeez, I don't even know if I'm halfway done."

Pressing his lips together, Childe glares in an acutely deadpanned countenance, it was also his time too, "Can't you ask this commissioner to extend your due date to next week? In your case, mora shouldn't be the issue since, well...you're dating me anyways."

It's true. Childe was the main reason why you didn't have to live as a starving artist. He had all your expenses fully covered from the marketing aspect to your residence, you simply chose to work out of pure will.

"I don't want to always rely on you so much," you confessed, "This commissioner could turn my whole career around. If I'm able to gain his favour, maybe I'll get promoted to a court painter for the Qixing! Who knows when there will ever be a chance like this again," pumping your fists, you spoke purposefully, "I'll pull an all nighters if I have to!"

Childe brings his hand to his forehead, you looked as if you were nearly about to collapse and yet still considering the option of an all-nighters? The harbinger should've detained you days prior before.

"Hm? Childe, what's wrong?" He suddenly falls deadly quiet and you watched him walk closer towards you, "What are--"

Hooking an arm behind your knees and the other at your back, your boyfriend lifts you up in one full swoop as he tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Guess we'll have to do things the hard way," he remarks cheerfully.

"W-Wait," you flailed your arms and kicked your legs but to no avail. Childe was an experienced combatant indeed, "Put me down! I have work to do."

Your protests fall upon deaf ears as the harbinger carries you to your room. You were oddly lighter than the last time he carried you, the strength less vigor than before, it was obvious that your body was in need of relaxation. He suddenly thinks there was a possibility that you would maintain this habit while he was absent.

I should probably visit more often.

Using his free leg to nudge the door open, he places you upon the shared bed in a gentle manner. You winced at the impact of the soft sheets, surprised by how much it affect you.

"There we go. All done. Man, you really are a stubborn one, aren't you. Makes me a little worried since I can't spoil you all the time."

He quickly invited himself to the empty space on your bedside and wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you close and feeling you whole. Childe made sure there was no escape once putting his chin above your hairline so that you could feel his warmth as much as possible.

"This is--" you stuttered. His tactic was enough to make your limbs soften and you could almost hear him smirk into the distance, "This is cheating..."

"You think so?" He comments as if pledging innocence, "I don't know babe. Where I come from those who take the initiative are the ones who end up claiming the prize," pulling back, Childe takes the opportunity to observe your pouty face, "I don't make the rules. It's just how it goes."

You wanted to argue back but he suddenly took the bedsheets and covered both of your bodies with, completely trapping you with his presence. He snuggles into you further as if you were a bear made of linen and you felt the drowsiness taking over your mind. The way he gently pats down the back of your head was enough to instantly lull you into a deep sleep.

"Cheater," you mumbled.

He laughs softly, the rumbles emitting through his chest, "I love you too babe."

Even after you've let go of your resistance, Childe continues his actions until he was sure that you were resting. He had been longing to touch you like this since living a chaotic life only made peaceful moments much sweeter, "You're such a hard-worker you know that? I'm proud of you but you have to know when to call it a day," he whispers, "If not, how can I go on trips while knowing that you're still refusing to eat properly?"

You closed your eyes and said nothing in return. All your senses were too cloudy to come up with a reassuring response. Childe listens to the way your breath evens as you intake his scent during the process. It smelled like the soap you used in the showers, lotus leaves mixed with his own unique musk. You could only focus on him. His comforting embrace. His slightly accelerating heartbeat because you were together with him.

Letting out one final yawn, you succumbed to his spell and allowed your energy to drift away.

The corners of his lips tug upwards, "Sleep well princess."

Childe reaches over to your desk drawer and shuts off the alarm clock before turning over to face you again. He couldn't fall asleep immediately, not when he had to consider taking care of the commissioner who gave you an impossible deadline. But that will be saved for another day, for now, he observes in silent serenity.

If he were to quit his job for a year, what would his life be like?

Peaceful. Something opposite of what he was living right now. Something similar to the life he had back home. As you arrange the many paintings in your little home, he'll offer to help you among the places you couldn't reach. Without a doubt, Childe was far taller in comparison. Taking strolls into the streets and trying the new dishes the merchants came up with. Then in the evenings, you'll both go to dinner dates while listening to the storyteller revealing the rumours of the legendary Tianquan Qixing. Although Childe loved the adventurous life he led, he had to admit that your domesticity and family-bringing atmosphere was a tempting idea.

Maybe one day.

He lightly takes a strand that had fallen over your nose and tucked it smoothly behind your ear. The soft snores coming out of your parted lips caused his gaze to melt. And so he steals them with his own, placing a chaste goodnight kiss.

One day I'll be sure to bring my family here with us.

Closing his eyes, he joins you in your slumber, hoping to see all that he envisioned in his dreams.

#genshin impact #childe x reader #childe genshin impact #genshin childe #childe #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia #genshin impact childe #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin headcanons

383 notes · View notes

windblooms · 4 years

Note

oh how about Diluc and Zhongli for character analysis?

sure thing! i’ll answer this one and get back to working on other requests orz

diluc:

despite being known as a broody wine master and one of the few prominent characters that holds a negative opinions of the knights, he’s actually more sociable than the mondstadt storyline might imply.

diluc has multiple voicelines (if you get him through wishes) where he shows concern for traveler/mc, some being “all that matters is that you were safe last night,” “i’ll make sure you leave safely,” and “how about you take a rest while i go back [to the guild]?”

so, yeah. he’s not as distant or aloof as his initial appearance played him off to be imo. while he’s still on the professional side, he does readily show concern for traveler/mc, and presumably other people who work alongside him.

he knows he’s hot stuff – he evens says as much when clearing out hordes of hilichurls/abyss mages in the mondstadt storyline (”ah, there are you are. dealing with you will be the easy part.”) doesn’t openly flaunt his strength to other people, but, needless to say, is comfortable on the battlefield.

also, remember when traveler and venti try to steal the lyre? he says “for the record, i like your guts for trying to steal the holy lyre der himmel. even if you are fools . . . but we don’t often get to see people like you.”

aka he’s also a smart ass.

he knew that venti and traveler had something to do with the lyre, and dismissed the knights that came in either because a) he didn’t think they would handle the situation appropriately or b) wanted answers first.

while we (the player) knew that traveler and venti didn’t actually steal the lyre, diluc doesn’t seem threatened by either of them. he doesn’t rush to apprehend them, and from the quotes above, actually thinks the situation is entertaining.

the line “i like your guts for trying to steal the holy lyre” also reminds me of one of his quotes when he talks about jean (”her unparalleled sense of responsibility is the sole reason why she still hasn't found her true calling”).

while it’s not a call-back or anything obvious, diluc implies that rules/authority/strict codes have the potential to hold others back; therefore, i think he really meant it when he commended the traveler’s grit for trying to steal the lyre, because from the tone of how he talks about jean, he’s had his fair share of unorthodox behavior that’s gotten him to somewhere he actually wants to be.

overall a capable man and one who values effectiveness of method. while not one to uphold formalities (in a few of his voice lines, he says he’s “not interested in idle chit chat), he respects partnership and lets his dryness slip often. i can go further into his voicelines in a separate post if you want anon.

zhongli:

this is going to be a bit different than diluc’s analysis since, at the time i’m writing this, zhongli doesn’t have profile voicelines yet.

however i will be using voicelines from the liyue storyline plus the 1.1 update “a new star approaches,” so spoiler warning for 1.1 if you haven’t done the quests yet!

okay so

zhongli knows liyuen culture like the back of his hand because, well, he’s the god who created liyue to begin with.

when the traveler confronts zhongli, childe, and signora in the northland bank, zhongli explains his ploy calmly, which seems strange, since he had essentially traded his symbol of godhood for a ““vacation”” (i use this term sarcastically and will explain more below).

when the traveler first comes into a liyue, many of the citizens make a point to say that, in contrast to mondstadt, their nation isn’t “godless” and show disdain towards mondstadt’s ways.

they believe in rex lapis. yet it’s made clear throughout the storyline that, in actuality, there are large branches of people (see the liyue qixing) want to advance liyue further, often without the aid/overseeing of their deities. quote zhongli at the northland bank: liyue is about to begin its “next age.”

meaning that, even though he said he was tired, that he had been guarding and overseeing the nation for thousands of years, he was able to tell that liyue was moving past its need for him, essentially that he wasn’t needed in the same way as he was in the past.

while many players kinda sorta really did not like zhongli after he admitted to staging the fight against osial (the sea monster), ultimately endangering liyue, he not only did it as a “test” to see if the liyuen people really were as advanced as he believed them to be, but also so that the adepti could become closer to liyue’s citizens.

not saying that it wasn’t somewhat messed up, but his motivation behind such a scene was to make sure that, if he resigned as a god, then humans could take care of themselves from now on and he wouldn’t be putting them in more danger if he left.

the adept, although hesitant and somewhat troubled by being more involved with humans, show a change of heart following the conclusion of the fight against osial. so zhongli’s scheme makes the adepti see that humans are more capable than they give them credit for, revives their respect for one another, and leaves knowing that liyue is in capable hands.

as for trading the gnosis: it’s stated multiple times that zhongli doesn’t make unfair contracts. obviously, part of the benefit on his end is allowing liyue to grow into a new age, but that can’t be the only motivator for him to give it away.

tsaritsa wants to “burn away the old world,” and the story hasn’t been clear as to why yet. but in making the contract, zhongli should be aware of at least part of her ultimate intentions. my theory is that, in the end, the gnoses will actually prove useless to the tsaritsa’s plan (as in, they actually don’t help her achieve her goal despite their symbolism), or we’re going to receive the power equivalent to a gnosis in the future.

tldr: zhongli’s plan is layered. while we don’t have much more information at the moment, as can consider his character to be very thorough, resourceful, and self-aware.

again, i can write out more once he’s released. these are just my thoughts, so take and pick what you want. ^^

#genshin impact #zhongli headcanons #diluc headcanons #character analysis #i ended up writing more for zhongli than diluc orz #in my defense #the liyue story is longer than the mondstadt story #anon.ask #al.ans #diluc.type #zhongli.type

150 notes · View notes

fanfiction-funtime · 3 years

Text

Self insert oc: Alexander Vodka

AKA: Eis Cay'zar

Author of fate

A writer from Schneznaya who was driven from his home for his anti-Tsaritsa paper.

_____________________

Physical description:

A chubby fellow in a 1950's style noir trenchcoat and hat, some would even say he looks like he jumped right out of a noir comic book and into reality. He has brown hair and green eyes, a cowboy mustache, and a pointed beard like some kind of comic book supervillain genius.

He often acts confidently and even a bit egotistical when in places he's recognized and famous in, however in newer places he often seems distant and shys away from almost all contact.

Noone knows where his vision is, but they know he has one because of the cold aura that surrounds him.

At night he'll often trade his outfit for one more reminiscent of demons or vampires.

_____________________

Abilities:

Weapon type: Catalyst

Basic attack-truth: uses his catalyst to shoot a short burst of up to 3 ice shards, can attack in fast succession.

"Truth hurts, especially in bursts"

Charged attack-Bifrost: Alexander quickly makes an ice clone behind the enemy and fires 6 shots, this can increase to 3 clones if charged enough(times: 1 for 1 second, 2 for 2 seconds, and 3 for 2.5 seconds)

"I hate crowds, best company has always been myself"

Elemental ability-ice wall: creates an aura of sheer cold around himself that will damage enemies the more they stay in it, and apply the normal sheer cold to them. Does not affect party.

"My therapist said I put up walls because of trauma, but I couldn't hear them through the wall I had just built"

Elemental burst-a story to be told: Alexander takes out his book and opens to a random page, then randomly summons ice sculptures of one of 8 beings:

"Aster": this summon looks like the flatwoods monster, it surrounds the party in a swirl of ice blades that deal 2X damage as the character for 10 seconds.

"Who needs brawn, when you got brain"

"Ultimate foe": a demonic, pointy being of shadow. Will independently deal 25000 damage to three random foes.

"Meet my penultimate friend"

"Beethoven": a sculpture reminiscent of a ww1 zombie general, calls down a barrage of ice bombs that deal 5000 damage to enemies hit for 7 seconds.

"Good scifi doesn't predict, it prevents"

"Sorrows Joy": an angelic, faceless, robot like humanoid that spawns 25 angel shaped traps that freeze enemies around the character.

"With any luck, you're the only real one I've made"

"Death rider and the magic prince": two statues, one of a mummy like Schneznayan mystic of ancient barbarian times and the other an elven cavalry knight from the myths of mondstadt. The knight gives the party a 45% boost to speed and attack while moving, and the Schneznayan gives +10% damage bonus to elemental skills and +55% damage bonus to Catalyst.

"Feel the wrath of honor long passed"

"Zero point and Lion queen": a knightly man of spiked armor and a golden ottoman warrior woman whose golden chain completely obscures her head. Your enemies become inflicted with pyro and you are surrounded by thorn bushes that deal continuous damage of 1000 for 10 seconds.

"Walk down the way on a moonlit day"

The traveler: a child in a red straight jacket, his binds become undone after 4 seconds at which point all enemies take 10,000 X Alexander's level of damage.

"I uh,wont have to pay any copyrights will I?"

"Giota": a child in pyjamas who looks ready to sleep, this summon is very rare. It fully restores all party members and gives a 200% boost to both defense and damage of your characters.

"This fella's been with me since I was a kid"

"If it is a soldier's duty to escape the confines of a prison, is it not every person's duty to escape reality if even for a moment? A wise man said that, pray that I may one day be like him."

Passive-part the wasteland: Alexander is immune to sheer elements, and Grant's 50% resistance when in the party to all members.

_____________________

Story

Abandoning a dream

As a kid, Alexander was always put down when he said he wanted to write fiction, "there's no money in it" they all said.

He couldn't get into any art schools without support so he focused his mind elsewhere, a place he could hopefully use his writing to do just as much good: the first newspaper in Schneznaya.

Horrible truth

He didn't start as a trouble maker, but the more he sought out the truth the more he couldn't stand back and watch. He published numerous papers about the Tsarista's wrongdoings and the crimes of the fatui, how they would harass merchants in other nations, the unfair taxes many shipping businesses had to keep quiet about, all the way up to the war crimes the Tsarista had done in direct contradiction to her own laws.

Sadly, not many believed him even with evidence, but some got his message.

Those who fight

One day Alexander was approached by a man who claimed to have formed a resistance against the fatui. Alexander had inspired many people to disrupt the organization, and have even begun working with those outside Schneznaya.

With their help he didn't just publish some crimes, he published them all, he even got information that turned the general public against the fatui even if just a little.

In a way h had achieved his dream of helping others with his writing, even if it wasn't how he wanted.

Stop the presses

When the Tsarista started her big move of taking gnosis, she brought the hammer down on dissent like a boulder on a ten year old's wrist. One day a squad of thirty fatui stormed Alexander's home and business to silence him, and while they shut down his business they couldn't catch him.

Alexander fled into the wastelands of ice and snow and wasn't seen for several weeks.

Deus ex Vodka

One day Alexander showed up in Inazuma, a nation that had been oppressed for some time now and had recently reached it's height, yet no resistance had formed.

That was until Alexander came along.

Alexander published numerous books, spreading them throughout Inazuma. All of them spoke of freedom, of bravery, of rising up to achieve your ambitions.

And with those stories he inspired countless to take up arms, and in turn inspired countless to join the resistance.

And with mere fiction he had brought about hope,

And with mere fiction he shall do it again, in every form, and in every nation.

Vision: cold hearted

While wondering the waste Alexander fell down and looked to the skies.

He did not ask celestia why, he did not grieve or blame that he did not do more, instead Alexander did something he hadn't done in a long time:

He imagined.

And after he imagined he took out his notebook and wrote. In the freezing cold for seventeen days he wrote stories of hope and freedom.

For seventeen days the cold did not so much as cause him to flinch as he wrote tales of bravery.

For seventeen days Alexander Vodka lived how he wanted to live.

And at the end, he lied down to die.

Then a light shown, and when he opened his eyes to look he saw that the storm parted around him, and in his hand was an ice blue gem.

But Alexander was too paranoid from years of abuse from his peers as a child to wear it loosely, and far to extra to just get a lock. So instead Alexander shouted to celestia "if I shall have this Vision for my art, then it shall not kill me no matter what I do!"

He then shoved the vision into his heart and fell down.

Before he could bleed out however, a woman appeared.

"Hey Tsari, how ya doin." Alexander said as blood poured out his mouth.

"You dramatic fool," the Tsarista sighed as she put a hand on his chest, "you have my element, do you know how bad it'll look for me if you die by shoving your vision into your heart?"

"Why do you care? We hate eachother, in case you forgot."

The archon sighed, "you're just rebelling against what you see as unjust, just as I am. To be honest I feel a sort of rivalry with you, so it'd be a shame if you just died. Also," she painfully shoved the vision all the way in, painfully, "if your going to die it better be because of me, got it?"

Then Alexander sat up, and the god was gone. Along with the hole in his chest.

"Rival of a god eh?" He sat up, putting his gat back on his head, "I like the sound of that."

_____________________

How is this an insert?

Well his story can't be the exact same as mine, so I took my life and goals and made predictions, then fictionalized those predictions and expanded.

His appearance is pretty close to how I'll likely look based on my current appearance, and his dramatic attitude is exactly how I wanna act.

Him being shy in new places with strangers is me exactly as I am now really, however I do believe I'd act confidently if I were famous so he does as well.

Him being Catalyst is because I'm not athletic at all, and I figured a dps Catalyst would be cool. His main ability and resistance/immunity to sheer cold is based on how I wrap up in warm blankets when it's cold, and his ultimate is made up of characters I've made.

_____________________

Tagging: @genshin-obsessed, @golden-wingseos, @storytravelled, and @love-psxlm

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin oc

10 notes · View notes

yuukri · 3 years

Note

5, 6, 15, n 19! also, it looks like you rlly like spirited away, have you ever written or considered writing any spirited away fics?

5. satosugu adopt kids (yikes) (jujutsu kaisen) - i feel like every jjk writer has one little self indulgent family fic squirrelled away and here’s mine: firstly i’ve deleted everything to do with curses because they pose too much potential for angsty and also because i can’t write action scenes whdjdj! secondly, gojo steals (legally) megumi (no tsumiki in this au because i’m afraid of how to write her), while getou saves the girls from a bad situation. mostly it’s just daily dramatic domestic shenanigans with some kids :D

“only one of the bunnies is paying him any real attention, happily sniffling at his ankles, and for it’s troubles suguru lifts it up gently, as he makes his way into the living room. he’s sure eventually the rest will get bored and follow. even before he enters, the sounds of national geographic on the television are barely distinguishable from the volume of satoru’s laugh and nanako’s petulant whines.

megumi is sprawled on the floor by the table, one of his two dogs is most definitely in the corner eating his homework, for the third time that week; this time, suguru decides, he will not help the boy try to fix it in a panic before the deadline. satoru should have been a responsible parent and prevented it from happening. the other dog is unsurprisingly, being used as an oversized cushion.”

6. temple au (jujutsu kaisen) - one of my three endgame itafushikugi wips! nobara and megumi help yuuji revive the cult of sukuna after sukuna accidentally messes up and reincarnates into yuuji, nobara realises she has ancestral blood in the cult and megumi stumbles upon the temple while avoiding his own clan issues. it’s a super fun, supernatural au which is more silly than serious tbh.

“nobara was sometimes not unlike a piranhas, less prone to attack than people expected, but easily riled up by the scent of fresh blood.

as though to prove that just sometimes, he was some god’s favourite, their destination comes into sight. amongst the wane light of a waxing moon, the structure stood hulking and proud. it was eerie, with the way the wood gleamed as though newly polished, the shine carmine of the tiled roof. the silence of it. buildings this grand, this intricate, should creak in their foundations, the windows should rattle in their frames, the walls should groan under their load.

they come to a natural stop. nobara somehow manages to rock on her heels despite the uneven mud.

“we’re here.” megumi says, just to be annoying. “

15. watermelon sugar type beat (jujutsu kaisen) - another of the three itafushikugi wips! set semi-canon this time, it’s just a silly one shot (?) spawned from my own hcs for the trio, where they go to sendai and do silly teenage things in yuuji’s hometown! i also wanted to try and write the visiting the grave scene a la chainsaw man. no expert sorry because the state of this wip is best left for my own eyes jsjdjjd (it’s a mess OTL)

19. take a deep breath, take a deep breath, take a deep breath- (genshin impact) - zhongli loosing his gnosis isn’t as straightforward as he explained (or expected) and through plot armour magic shenanigans, our favourite liyue teens have been de-aged at his behest. it’s blatantly an excuse for me to have zhongli play house and maybe if i’m up for it explore his loneliness and detachment for his people and humanity as a whole. anyway, as they saying goes: “from the mouths of babes” for the wisest of introspections.

“zhongli holds hu tao upside down by her ankle. now this would be quite feat perhaps, if he wasn’t a millennia old god and the girl in question had been her normal size. unfortunately, as he listens to her squealing laughter and forces his grip a tad tighter as she shakes in his grasp, hu tao was very much not her normal size.

there are other issues, of course. there’s the fatui mages unconscious on the ground, the remnant sparking of electro over the dark lake of wuwang hill, the other not quite normal sized people clustered around his leg.

“mr zhongli,” xiangling says in a very quite voice, much higher than her usually chirping tenor, “what are we going to do now?” ”

spirited away! -

firstly nonny you’re totally right! i love spirited away and it’s probably one of (if not my number one) favourite movies of all time! funnily enough, despite loving ghibli movies and content, i’ve never thought to or attempted to write a ghibli based fanfic - spirited away included! i feel like most of the time when i write fics it’s because there’s something else from canon my mind wants to run away with and see. however, in the case of spirited away, i don’t think there is? the film and story are so well made and self contained i am want for literally nothing jsjdjd. i could (do) just watch it again and again and enjoy the way things play out. same could be said for other films like howl’s moving castle and kiki’s delivery service, which feature heavily in my other social media accounts (and make up far too much of my personality). but it’s not just ghibli that gives me this vibe funnily enough, some anime/manga i consume also feel complete enough that i’m happy to just leave them be fic free (the shock and horror of it)... others however, i have a personal vendetta to bend to my emotion driven will OTL...

wip title ask game!

#chel works on the bathhouse floor #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #genshin fanfic #my whole writing blog is spirited away based! i even have a spirited away them for my aes blogs shdjjd #you can find them through my main! my twitter was also spirited away themed and if i ever manage to do admin my ao3 will change accordingly #ask game

10 notes · View notes

moreracquetball · 7 years

Note

First of all, u seem to hecking cool omg. Lol, anyway - I watched the Andrew Rannels Hedwig bootleg during lunch at school today. (Interesting, right?) The quality towards the end was very poor, so I couldn't really make out the audio. Does Hedwig die, or is it more symbolical. Analysis? Idk I still love and appreciate this beautiful musical Thanks!

The ending is kinda ambiguous and like up to you to decidejust what it means (which i Love Love Love - I prefer open-ended endings morethan definitive “happy ever afters”), but this is how I interpret it:

After an emotional, bitter, anguishing breakdown in the climax scene, Hedwig strips off her drag - in a way like one would take off armor. In that moment, she truly displays vulnerability (since, as confirmed in “Wig in a Box,” her drag had become an escape for her - like, through this new fierce persona, she could ignore the reality that all that was done to her and all that she gave up had been for nothing) and - for the first time in the show - we get to see the real Hedwig.

Now, it gets a little fuzzy in “Wicked Little Town (Reprise)” because that’s Tommy Gnosis singing it to Hedwig at his sold out concert (I’ve seen this moment as the setting of the play - where it was Hedwig playing in an old theater - shifting to Tommy’s concert venue. It then switches back to Hedwig’s show during “Midnight Radio”).

Also, can I just say that I truly truly love how the play incorporated Tommy in this part? Like, for one, there’s the narrative purpose (John Cameron Mitchell wanted to drive home the theme of the ambiguity of gender and fully articulate that just because Hedwig was mutilated - it doesn’t make her lesser. It makes her different. If anything else, it really makes her more, in a way), but also it kinda resolves the conflict of the subplot between Hedwig and Tommy.

There was an estrangement there as Tommy was unable to accept who Hedwig was, and he made Hedwig feel bitter, jaded, ashamed, and unlovable. Tommy was the devil on Hedwig’s back throughout the show (you kept hearing bits and pieces of his nearby concert, which continually increased Hedwig’s anger and frustration), and it’s at this moment that he stops haunting her. I mean, Tommy was a kid (seventeen years old - that’s how old I am!), so to see him grow up and admit and realize how much Hedwig gave him (everything, that is. She gave him everything - he would be nothing without her).

Also lmao don’t take this as me being a Tommy stan bc forreal fuck that guy

But anyways - Like i was saying - after Tommy’s song, the narrative switches back to Hedwig, who is now completely out of drag, and she gives her wig to Yitzhak as a sort of peace-offering and apology. Hedwig then sings “Midnight Radio,” a tribute to all those rock legends that inspired her so many years earlier when she was Hansel Schmidt, bending over the oven to listen to the only thing that made her feel alive and whole.

Now, there is no clean-cut explanation as to what Hedwig plans to do next in her life - whether she stripped off her drag for good or not. We don’t know much of anything post, you know? But here’s the message that the ambiguous ending was trying to send (what I believe, anyway):

At the end of the play, Hedwig doesn’t die. Rather, she’s reborn.

Throughout her life, Hedwig has been living for other people - her mother, the soldier, the rockstar. She gave and gave and gave - tangible and intangible parts of herself.

And it’s kinda ironic that - in order to find her other half and “be whole” - she chose to give so much of herself away. But anyways - that’s a tangent. I’m trying not to get off track for once.

And with her drag, she built up this suit of armor, this wall around herself. She forged a new identity, one that was delirious and vapid and jaded and unwilling to face the reality of what had happened to her. She built a shell around herself.

And in the end, she stripped off her wig and dress. She disarmed herself. She stopped trying to be what she thought others wanted her to be, what she thought would make her whole.

Because she already is whole unto herself. There is no other half. There’s only her.

And so, I believe that she was reborn into her true self, her true identity. I believe that, from that point forward, she chose herself and her dreams and her happiness. She chose to live for herself rather than someone else.

And I think that’s a pretty perfect ending, if I do say so myself.

#hey guys i really really love hatai #like - a lot #hatai #hedwig and the angry inch #meta

52 notes · View notes

maidenofsophia · 7 years

Text

Rising Into The Light

August 15th is the traditional date for the feast of the Assumption of Blessed Virgin Mary in the Roman Catholic Church and the Dormition of Mary in the Orthodox Church. The feast commemorates the assumption of Mary into Heaven at the end of her earthly life.

It was not until the year 1950 that the doctrine of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary was made a dogma in the Roman Catholic Church, yet her feast goes back to the middle ages. According to C.G. Jung the proclamation by the Pope was accompanied by visionary revelations of the Blessed Virgin to himself and others. This suggests that the image of the Assumption of Mary relates to a phenomenon of the archetypal feminine in successive experiences of a revelatory nature. The story of the Ascension of Sophia, originating in the fourth century, predates the Feast of the Assumption by many centuries, and yet its imagery seems to be the archetype upon which later revelations about Mary are patterned. For this reason, it seems apt as Gnostics, to celebrate the Ascension of Sophia, on the Sunday nearest the feast day of the Assumption. The story of Sophia in many ways prefigures the Marian myth that has grown throughout the history of Western civilization. Her image is the archetypal mystery that is closest to us in our terrestrial existence.

The story of Sophia is the story of our own soul. Her ascent follows her descent, but like our own journey, it is not an easy climb. The descent is like a lightning flash, but the ascent is a slow and winding path, like that of the Serpent of Wisdom on the Tree of Life. The Logos does not reach down and immediately pull Sophia out of the chaos of the lower worlds. Her assumption back into the Pleroma is a gradual and incremental process. The Redeemer raises her just a little at the first. She is aware that things are better, that her tormenters, the archons are farther from her, but she does not know who her helper is, nor can she see him. Eventually, after several incremental steps out of the chaos of matter, the Helper is revealed to her. She sees the Logos revealed in all his dazzling glory. At first she feels ashamed and covers herself with a veil, but when she sees the virile emanations of his light-power, she can hold back no longer and rushes to his embrace. In their ecstatic reunion, a fountain of light-sparks pours forth between them, which showers the world with its redemptive seed to empower all of the exiled light of Sophia to return to the Height. With their reunion so consummated in the bridechamber of light he brings her finally into the Height and back to her aeon in the Pleroma.

Sophia is named Pistis Sophia or Faithful Sophia. She was never defiled by the archons, she remained a virgin-power, because she kept faith in the Light; she remained faithful. Though she was betrayed by the false Light of the Chief Archon, the Arrogant One, she never lost her longing for the Light of the Father, the Alone-Begotten, the First Mystery.

So there exists within us a divine spark, a beautiful pearl, unsullied, undefiled by the world and the chaos of matter. This is the priceless pearl, the light of the Gnosis for which we strive, and which in itself is the source of our own longing for the Light of the Pleroma. Though we can effectively approach these mysteries psychologically, Sophia is not just a “head trip.” Neither is our own divine Self a psychological head trip. The things of archetypal, spiritual reality are as real if not more real and more lasting than our physical sensate reality. The Gnosis is a knowing of the heart, not a knowing of the senses. Though sensate experience can be a valuable avenue to Gnosis, the aim and direction of the experience must be on something transcendent and outside of this world. Gnosis requires an experience of the archetypal bedrock of reality, which can not simply be taught in a workshop, lecture hall or classroom. It is a long and winding road to Gnosis.

Many maps of the journey have been left by those who have been “there and back again,” as the original title of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit describes. The story of Sophia is one of those maps. It shows how we got here and how we can return to the Fullness of the Pleroma. Certainly, we can make up our own maps, very beautiful, politically correct, wonderfully creative, but if those making the map do not clearly remember the way, these made up maps are not going to get us back to the Light. Other naive approaches include simply picking the parts of the map we like, or picking a piece from this map of one terrain and another from that of another terrain, either of which approaches must ultimately fail to get us to the sought for destination. This is not to say that we must restrict ourselves to following only one spiritual path and symbol system; the more maps we can use, the more terrain we can know and experience in finding our way out of the chaos. But, if a map is to be useful on the journey of the soul, it must be from one who truly knows the way, and it must be maintained in the integrity of the one who made it.

The map must describe the journey from where we are; it must include both our starting point, the goal and the way between them. Like a treasure map that says take so many paces this direction and so many paces another direction, it only works if we start from the right place. But we need more than a map. If that was all that was needed we could more easily blaze our own trails back to the Light. We require also a spiritual energy, a light-power, to be able to see the path ahead and follow the markers along the way. The world in which we live is a dark place, unless we have a spiritual light to illumine it for us. If we can not even see the spiritual reality of ourselves or those closest to us, how can we possibly see our way back to the Light. We can but stumble about in the darkness following the voices of attachment and despair.

We lack sufficient light-power to see who we are and a mirror by which we can see our Self reflected. This is why the Logos says in the Acts of John, “I am a lamp to thee who seest me. I am a mirror to thee who understandest me.” As put forth in the writings of Mani, the Savior comes not only at the right time but at the right place as well. The Messenger of Light, the Savior, comes to us at the place where our journey back to the Light begins. Our ascent begins where our descent ends, at the very bottom, in the furthest depths of the chaos.

The Logos does not bring Sophia out of the chaos by immediately grasping her back into the Pleroma but by restoring her light-power little by little, by revealing to her who she is. So it is in our own souls; the Messenger of Light comes to give us the light to see who we are as spiritual beings, and being akin to that Light, we mystically and simultaneously know both the beginning and end of our spiritual journey within our very Self.

The Christ is the alchemical stone and the Self, the true, constellating center of the psyche, a real, unique and yet universal being, which both surrounds and penetrates us from the very core of our own being. Like Sophia we are mostly and usually unaware of our divine helper. As we become aware of this presence, this mysterious other, we must acknowledge that it is not simply a state of consciousness that the ego may eventually evolve to; we recognize that the ego personality can serve to mediate our true center in the outer world, but it cannot accomplish the redemptive soul-making work of the Self, the Christ within. The ego cannot by itself lift us out of the chaos; it cannot save itself from its own condition—something outside of the ego is required.

The error of the ego is ignorance of any power above it. This also is the error of the Demiurge in the story of Sophia. The demiurge forgets his Mother Sophia who engendered him, when he arrogantly proclaims, “There are no gods before me.” The supernal Sophia then calls from the height to remind him, “You lie, Samael (blind god), there is the Man and there is the Son of Man.” In the same fashion, the demiurgic arrogance of the ego considers itself to be the sole power in the psyche, unneeding of redemption or sufficient to the task itself, whether alone or in a group of other egos all attempting to lift themselves by their own bootstraps and remaining in the chaos together. Christ consciousness is the conscious expression of a real being, the true royal Selfhood, which includes and transcends the ego personality. It does not displace or take over the ego personality but has access to the totality of the psyche, with knowledge, experience, understanding and compassion that is far beyond what the ego alone can possibly know.

By her descent Sophia gives birth to the Demiurge, who like the ego personality, can take command of life in the material world but is incomplete and deficient. The entire story of the descent and ascent of Sophia represents the great scheme for correcting this deficiency both in ourselves and in the world.

In the Wisdom literature of the Old Testament, Sophia is called “the Mother of fair love, and of patience and perseverance, and of holy hope.” We must persevere in the work of redemption, the particular task to which we are called, not in response to our ego needs for recognition and greatness but in response to the call of the Holy Spirit who has remained here on earth to give us guidance and spiritual nurturance. We must have the patience to wait for our time to act. We must have holy hope to remember the treasures of the spirit, the Treasury of the Light to which we aspire.

As in the story of Sophia, the Helper comes at the place in our descent where we can acknowledge our powerlessness and regain our remembrance of our Mother Sophia and our faithfulness to the Light. We can not acknowledge our need for redemption until we remember the Light, until we remember who we are and indeed why we descended, the answer to which can only be found in its origin in the Light. And so the Sophia, as our own soul in the chaos of matter, cries, “O Light have mercy upon me, for there is no virtue in the cup of forgetfulness.” In the heart of the Gnostic, this cry brings forth tears of both sorrow and joy, for they are tears of love and tears of beauty—Sorrow for our condition of alienation in the chaos of the world and joy in our discovery of our long forgotten and true spiritual friend whose beaming radiance reminds us of the Place of Light in which we may be united once again.

One of the values of the story of the Ascent of Sophia, is the portrayal of the Logos as a Hero figure, as Liberator and Lover. The Savior comes to Sophia as the Hero to rescue the damsel in distress, yet he does not pick her up and carry her up; he gives her light-power to rise above the chaos, to become more conscious of who she is in her own power. Her response is gratefulness, greater faith in the Light, and love. Like Sophia, all of our souls are damsels in distress, suffering the distress of the soul not knowing who she is and like Sophia beseiged by material powers. Until our response to receiving that light is an increase in gratefulness, faithfulness, and love, the Liberator and Lover is not revealed to us.

In the Biblical stories and the Gnostic Gospel of Philip, the Christ rescues Mary Magdalen in much the same fashion as in the Ascent of Sophia. Jesus rescues her from ignorance by showing her who she is. By her redemption the Magdalen, like Sophia, becomes the one who redeems. She recognizes in herself the feminine image of hero and savior as she treads down the dragon-faced power and awakens to the love of the Logos. “The Lord loved her more than all the other disciples and kissed her on her mouth often.” (Gospel of Philip) The image of Jesus kissing Mary Magdalen is an image of the spiritual reality of the redemptive process. Mary Magdalen, Sophia and the Divine Soul within us all recognize that the bridechamber is not complete without herself.

Sophia is the feminine image of the Redeemer because she is the completion of her Redeemer, the Christ. We require a saving power, a Hero-Liberator-Lover and a Sophia, both of which have been denied us in mainstream Christianity. The Christ of mainstream Christianity is often either a suffering victim, a wrathful judge or a namby-pamby Jesus who could not possibly be a hero figure to anyone. The image of the Hero-Christ requires a Sophia.

The story of Sophia is not just a philosophical conundrum or a moral tale. Sophia is the bringing back of the feminine image of the redeemed redeemer, which restores the hero in all of us. We all have within us, regardless of our gender, the potential to be noble knights in service to Our Lady Sophia; we are all, male or female, prepared as a bride to receive the Consort, our true royal Selfhood, the Christ within.

As described so beautifully in a prayer attributed to Valentinus:

“Prepare yourself as a bride receiving her bridegroom, that you may be what I am, and I what you are. Consecrate in your bridechamber the seed of light. Take from me the bridegroom, and receive him and be received by him. Behold Grace has come upon you.”

So may the grace of the one who is full of grace dwell with us and lead us into the Light, that we may find the redeeming power of Sophia within us, where we might put her on as a “robe of honor” and put her about us as a “crown of joy.”

-- Rev. Steven Marshall, A Homily for the Assumption of Sophia (EGC)

#gnostic christianity #sophian gnostic #assumption of pistis sophia #mother god #holy daughter #christian mysticism

11 notes · View notes

hak-7 · 7 years

Photo

MISSING FOR "3" DAYS The masses have not been able to rise up and realize their greatness because this kindergarten Church language has kept them in mental, spiritual, and moral bondage. The young man, Jesus, grew up and the Book says that God blessed him and he grew in spirit. It says that he was circumcised and sanctified. These things should make you think," but you can't think until we turn your mind on to the symbolic language that you have been taught. If Jesus were God with a pure body that was not touched by man or sin, why would he have to be taught in spiritual knowledge? Why would he have to be sanctified if he were born divine? The Book says that he was sanctified and made holy. The, act of circumcision is an old ritualistic, traditional act which symbolizes the spiritual cleansing of the person. It meant that the person was being taken from the world of sin and filth and was being brought into the order of righteous people. Why would that have to be done to God? The child Jesus at the age of 12 years was seen in the Temple questioning the wise and answering their questions. They marveled at him because they recognized that he was wise. During the three days that Jesus' father and mother were looking for him, he was in school.The three days here does not represent any time period in the sense of physical time or movement. It is a symbolic term meaning that he had attended the school of Divine Teachings and that he had been taught the three graduations in Divine Knowledge . That is why Jesus, after being lost for three days, could go to the Temple of the wise and confound them with the knowledge he had accumulated over a period of the three levels of education he received in the Divine School.The Book tells us of his persecution and his crucifixion on the cross. At the sixth hour a darkening came upon the earth and it marked the beginning of his passing away. "6" is an esoteric number standing for materialism. It means that when materialism takes over in religion, the truth in that religion starts to die. Jesus was dying on the cross for three hours, from the sixth to the ninth hour. All of these little clues or hints are put in the New Testament to open the eyes of the sincere one who is searching for the truth and is pure in heart. It took three days (three periods or three graduations) for him to come into birth as a wise teacher and it took three periods for him to die. This means that when materialism took over the religious order, death had to come upon those three levels in Divine Truth. They died as a being of law, as an emotional being in religion (moral), and as a mind (wisdom). Men and women who cannot live by anything but law are described in scriptural language as animals who have to live under the power or rule of instinct. When the Originator created the world, He put some things under the law of instinct (natural law). In the Divine School, you are first taught the law. If you are fit for that order, you develop a moral liking for the law. A morality grows in you that is built after the order of that law. You become morally righteous and the righteous law grows you into a moral righteous body.In the moral righteous form, people are still highly emotional. Under the law, which keeps people in check, they might be emotional or they might be any way. Under moral teachings, the people are emotional like Church people. Church people spend more time on what is morally right and wrong than any other people. They are some of the most spirited people you can find, but that does not mean that they are strong people. You can be very righteous conscious, but that does not mean that you are righteous. Self-righ eous people only think of themselves as righteous, but they don't have an eye to see righteousness in others.The Book says that a rich man named Nicodemus asked Jesus how he could be saved. Jesus told him, in words, that he could not be saved but that he had to be remade (born again). The Church teaches that to be born again all you have to do is accept Jesus, have faith in him, be dunked down in physical water (baptized), and be brought out of the water. Then they go right back to the same wickedness that they left before they were dunked in the water. Imam W.D. Mohammed (raa)THE ROUND STONE Buried In A Cave So they put Jesus in a cave, a dry cave. And they rolled a round stone at its opening to seal him in there. And certain people were assigned to care for him, and they could come into the cave. When they came into the cave, they would put certain ointments on him, they would light up the incense, the candles, and use the sweet smelling herbs and oils. In other words, what it is telling us is that they practice their sciences in secret.The incense stands for science, the smell of it. Every spice they use stands for one of the sciences; the oil and every spice oil they use stands for one of the sciences. The light stands for understanding of the sciences. The smell stands for the good spirit you get when you hear the wisdom and you appreciate it, so it smells good to the nose. The nose is a play on "gnosis" (pronounced "no'sis"). Gnosis is an ancient Egyptian word meaning "soul." Knowledge of the soul in ancient time was the highest knowledge. Therefore, gnosticism was the highest knowledge in those times. So, "gnos", "nose", "gnosticism" all represent the same thing. Now, Jesus was the Thirteenth, right? Twelve disciples representing the heavenly sciences, the spiritual sciences, and Jesus was the Thirteenth among them. He is that one who brings in to connect again and be reconciled with the material sciences. There is a continuity of the sciences and the rational principles that apply to material sciences applies to the spiritual science, both. The world still keeps them divided: they call it the human sciences and the physical sciences. But we know that they are both sciences, and that both are part of One Reality the creation itself.They put him in a cave that had never been used before. In other words, there was no spiritual life there in that cave. Pure gnosticism, no spiritual life. They were not spiritual people, not that type of people. They are worshippers of the light, the light of pure science. That is what happened to the religious order it went into there. But the masses of the religion, they were not in there; they did not go into the cave. Only certain elected ones had that post, had that privilege. The masses of the people were on the outside. And Jesus was cut off from them, they were cut off from Jesus. What blocked it? A round stone. The round stone stands for spiritual conscience, spiritual concepts and spiritual consciousness. So they brought the whole Christian world to be dominated by spiritual consciousness. They did not give them the other consciousness, the consciousness of the material world which is represented in the square. Those who are in the sciences: Masons, Shriners, and others, they place so much importance on the square.Jesus, then, represented the reconciling of these two worlds, and it was not completed in his day. Allah says Jesus is a sign of it. But Prophet Muhammad came. And what does the Qur'an say that was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)? Allah said to the heavens and to the earth, "Be you joined together willingly or unwillingly." He said to the heavens and the earth, Come you together, be reconciled again." Praise be to Allah. So we know that the Qur'an came for that purpose, to reconcile the spiritual concepts with the material concepts, to bring back again the unity of the sciences where the spiritual concepts are not at odds with the material needs and material life. We cannot live fighting material life and material kinds of interests and concerns. We have to be in accord with that, we have to appreciate those concerns, because those are necessities of our being.Allah wants us to keep spirit first, taqwah, faith in God-keep that first. And He wants us to have all of the material interests protected by our faith and our obedience to Him. He wants us to make progress in this material world. He says, "Seek with every means that I have availed you the Hereafter, but do not forget your share of the material world." Imam W.D. Mohammed (raa)THE SYMBOLISM OF NOAH'S ARK The story of Noah and his boat filled with animals, two and two. Every animal had its mate. And right away, the untrained reader thinks that, yes he had to have his mate in order to continue his species." So the lion had his lioness. The dog his mate. The cow his mate, every animal. Can you imagine a boat......... Now mind you, science says that the species has been decreasing. The species has been diminishing. There were more species before than now. The animal kingdom is dying and the human kingdom is flourishing. I wonder what size boat that was…, Not the size they say in the book. His boat must have been made in the universe. There wouldn't be no space for all the those animals. What kind of boat? The whole sea would have to be taken by just boat. If he got an animal and a mate from all of the animals of the earth, I don't know how they could be held in that boat. And I wonder what kind of cleaning method he had? We get a little bird and we have a fit sometime. No this story is telling us this, that this new scheme would be designed to fire up passions.What kind of passions? Sex passions. That's why the mates are given, male and female tolet you know that this was a sexual passions, sexual fires that are going to be built up. Every animal with his female mate. You can imagine what kind of orgy they had on the boat. Badweather and an orgy-astic trip I'm telling you. And that is exactly the trip the world has been on. Look what this Western world has come too. Everything's sex. Sex, Sex, Sex. Sex has become such a strong influence in the lives of the people that the wife now doesn't care if the husband plays on her. She accept it. The average wife now accept that her husband play on her. In fact some of them say, Let's make a duo, a trio, a quattro, they don't care, an octo. They Have reduced you to your base instincts. Have reduced your intelligence to the very base instincts. Brought you down lower than the animal. You are not a free animal, you're an animal in an ark with black pitch sealing out nature so that your nature can't even come into the ark. The water is your human nature. And they didn't want any human nature coming into that ark. They didn't want any knowledge of nature coming into that ark so they sealed it with black pitch to keep out the water. It was a dry trip. Nothing but fire of base animal passion. Can't you see that what they told you in the Book was only their blueprint for what they were going to bring you to? And you read of it thinking that it was something that happened yesterday, and it was a plan for today. When you look at the Bible and you will see that the so-called Jewish people were in Egypt, and the Book says that they floated Moses down the river to Egypt to Pharaoh's palace and his wifetook up Moses out of a basket. Out of a basket.A basket of small wood. Pieces of the burning brush. The burning bush was a frail thing. The basket is made of the burning bush, but no light's in it now. And they float Moses down the river to Egypt for what? This is not the real Moses, this is Moses, the thief. He is going to Egypt to steal their knowledge. What is the proof? They also put pitch on this basket so that no water would come into the basket. Here is a little simple ark, going in to Egypt and they are going to do to the Egyptians what they did to the society of Noah. In time they are going to reduce Egypt like they reduced Noah, but first they got to get in. And Moses worked in the palace for Pharaoh. He became one of the leaders in his palace. And they drove him out. Why? Because God called him. The drove him out because God called him. Imam W.D. Mohammed (raa)

0 notes