#and when perrito came

[eelslippers]

I still cant believe dream works was like? You know what? Why not just show a moment of a genuine REAL panic attack experienced by a recognizable beloved animated character from a franchise everyone knows and loves and then not make a joke about it but rather show it as a real moment in a way that the audience can relate to

[bruhnze]

Apple tarts and tiramisu - Lucy Bronze x reader

Lucy Bronze x Barista!reader

Summary: this story takes place in 2022, when Lucy just moved to Barcelona, ​​all fictional of course.

SMUT - MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 10k+ because i yap too much

Apple tarts and tiramisu

It was Monday 7:00, you had an opening shift and was already in the shop for a good half an hour to get the machines starting and take the chairs of the tables. You had opened the doors of the small coffee shop and the still fairly cool Barcelona air blew in. The shop was quite popular by the locals but not really known by others, there was a fairly steady customer base, there were also some offices nearby, from where business people sometimes came in for a coffee or lunch.

But your favorite customers were the football players of FC Barcelona, ​​the coffee shop was down the street from the building where the club offered its players a house if they were international players or came from far inside of Spain.

In the middle of the morning rush an unfamiliar face walked in.

‘’¿Qué puedo hacer por ti?’’ (what can I get you) You said.

‘’Lo siento,’’ the beautiful women said in broken Spanish but with a nice accent ‘’todavía no hablo español, puedes hablar inglés’’ (Sorry, I can��t speak Spanish yet, do you speak English?)

‘’Oh yes, ofcourse’’ you smiled ‘’what can I get you?’’

‘’An iced matcha latte with soy milk please’’ The women said.

‘’Good choice’’ you stated ‘’finally something else then these café solos and cortados, and what is your name?’’

‘’Lucy’’ the women said smiling as she paid and walked to the other side of the counter were your colleague was making and handing out the drinks.

You went on to help the next costumers but not without watching ‘lucy’ as you just found out her name was, getting her drink after her name was called.

Lucy walked away with her drink and you couldn’t help but think about what brought her in, you thought she might be a tourist, even though at first you hadn’t expected that she couldn't speak Spanish, she didn't look like a tourist.

////

It went on like that for a couple of days, Lucy came in every morning that week. You worked Monday to Friday and had the weekend off, when you opened the shop again the next Monday you found yourself hoping to see the English lady again.

The past Thursday you had learned that she was English, that morning she had come in a little later and the shop was quiet, while you made her order you two had chatted, you asked how her pronunciation could sound so good if she could not speak Spanish, then she said that she could speak French and a bit of Portuguese and of course English, and that she was learning Spanish for her job, she had told you she moved from England to Spain for her job.

You hoped she would be in at the end of the morning again and not during the morning rush.

A few hours went by and you hadn’t had the time to wonder about her again because this Monday morning had been very busy and it seemed like about the whole office from across the street wanted a coffee today.

But then she walked in, and this time with a cute little white furred four-legged friend.

‘’Hola guapas’’ you laughed ‘’who have you brought with you, what a cutieee’’.

Lucy smiled ‘’hello, y/n, this is Narla, she is my dog’’

‘’Aw, why haven’t I seen her before!’’

‘’Well I didn’t know if the shop was pet friendly but this weekend I saw someone else with their dog in here so I thought it was okay’’ Lucy shyly admitted.

‘’Oh Lucy, you could’ve asked you know,.. also’’ you said as you pointed to the chalk mural behind you ‘’look, pup-cup and bowl of water $0,00’’ you read ‘’we love perritos here’’. (perritos = dogs)

‘’that’s nice, I bet she would love a pup-cup’ Lucy said, ‘’but also, I can only bring Narla when I have a day off, yesterday I played so today we have the day off’’ she turned to the dog ‘’right Narla, we are gonna have so much fun walking around Barcelona, don’t we’’ she said in a high-pitched voice, like most people do when they talk to their pet.

‘’Ahh’’, you said, ‘’now it makes sense’’

Lucy looked up ‘’huh?’’

‘’You’re a football player?’’ you smiled ‘’right?’’

‘’Yeah, I just signed for Barcelona, but what makes sense then?’’ she smiled questioning.

‘’Oh’’ you blushed only now realizing that you had kind of admitted that you had been thinking about her ‘’It makes sense that you know different languages and that you have come to this coffee shop every day, you probably live in one of the Barca apartments here’’

‘’Oh dear, you’re not going to stalk me, are ya?’ Lucy chuckled, partly laughing about your flushed cheeks.

You spilled a bit of the soy milk you were pouring, ‘’oh god no, sorry, I just-  I- , we have a lot of barca players coming in, it is known that there are players live here, they come in quit often actually’’

‘Haha, don’t worry, I was just kidding, I actually got recommended this coffee shop by one of the girls, and actually, I kind of figured you already knew, which I guess makes me kind off a dick, so—’

‘’Nah, you’re not a dick, you're really nice, actually, can I offer you an apple tart? Its on the house, its homemade and it has no sugar in it, but it's not disgusting like the healthy junk’’

Lucy smiled broadly ‘’food is always good’’ , ‘’and with that description you have made me curious, so yes please’’

‘’Good’’ you said ‘’you can take a chair outside or here’’ pointing to the tables inside the shop ‘’or would you rather have it to go?’’

‘’Hmm’’ Lucy said while thinking about it, ‘’guess ill take a chair in the sun, I have the day off after all, might as well take it to the fullest’’

‘’ Yes, I would do that too, good choice, here is your matcha latte’’ you said as you handed her the cup ‘’I will bring the rest to your table in a second’’

‘’Thank you’’ Lucy said as she walked outside.

Two other costumers came in and you helped them, they wanted two coffees to go. After that the shop was empty again.

After a bit you came out with a little cup of whipped cream for the dog and the apple tarte for Lucy. ‘’There you go’’

‘’Oh thank you, that looks good, did you make that yourself?’’

‘’Nahhh’’ you said ‘’my mother made it, this is her cafe actually’’

‘’Ah, that was that beautiful woman behind the counter this weekend’’ Lucy said playfully.

You pushed her shoulder ‘’hey’’

‘’what’’ she acted offended ‘’can’t I call people beautiful? I thought that was nice, also I reckon you said ‘’hola guapas’’ just now, and although my Spanish is not very good yet, I do happen to know what that means’’.

You laughed now too ‘’yeah yeah , I guess if I said that, you can do that too’’.

Then Lucy asked you boldly ‘’Do you perhaps have a bit of time to sit with me? Or do you have to get back to work?’’

‘’I guess I can, shop is empty, but if someone comes I’ll have to go’’ you said as you took the seat next to her.

‘’How come you can speak English so well?’’ She asked you after the two of you had chatted for a bit.

‘’oh that’s a good story actually, I studied to be an English teacher, and after I graduated I did that for 2 years, but then my mom got the opportunity to open a bakery, but she couldn’t find people to hire for this shop, so she wanted to turn it down, when I heard that I resigned and now I work here every workday so my mom can bake’’

‘Wow’ Lucy said after her mouth was empty, while you had told your story she had eaten half of the tart ‘’I love that you did that, because this tastes amazing’’ ‘’but if I understand correctly, your mother works every day, seven days a week, isn’t that tiring?’’

‘’Yeah’’ you laugh ‘’but you don’t know her, she is inexhaustible, sometimes I think she has adhd, but lately it has gotten better with staff, she hired more people, she even went on a holiday this summer, she hadn’t done that in like 5 years.’’

You talked some more and it also touched on Lucy's own experience with adhd, you found out that she had recently been diagnosed, but that it helped Lucy to exercise and since that was literally her job, she said it didn't bother her that much on a day to day base. When new customers arrived, Lucy thanked you and you gave her a tip about a nice spot with a fountain and some greenery before she walked off.

////

This is how it went for a few weeks, Lucy came to get a matcha to go before her training or if she was free a matcha and an apple tart, sometimes she came in with others.

This day she hadn’t come in, it was already quit late in the afternoon and then you saw almost the whole Barcelona femenino squad rounding the corner.

You had just wiped the whole counter and had put everything away, ready to close the coffee shop for siesta time.

One of them entered the shop, and talked to you in Spanish ‘’Hey I was wondering if we could eat lunch here? I know it’s really late but our team had some meetings which were running very late, so the kitchen at the complex was already closed and Lucia suggested that we could eat something here, but we see now that you are already closing things down so I thought I would ask’’.

‘’Lucia?’’ You asked

‘’Yeah, she is one of our new players, English, there’’ she said, while pointing at the dark haired defender ‘’honestly she doesn’t shut up about the apple tarts here’’

Lucy had walked in after seeing Alexia point at her. But you stood with your back to the door, talking to the football player so you didn’t see her walking up.

‘’ohhh Lucy, does she go by Lucia, I thought it was Lucy’’ you said back in spanish.

‘’Both is fine actually’’ Lucy said behind you ‘’but why are we discussing my name when we could be eating pastries’’. She laughed.  

You turned around, also laughing ‘’haha, yes sorry, tell them to come in and then you all can order’’

Not Lucy but Alexia walked away to get the teammates.

You asked ‘’so Lucia huh?’’

Lucy smiled ‘’Haha, both is acceptable, I mean on my passport is Lucia, but I guess because I grew up in England it just got Lucy and my dad was the only one calling me Lucia, but the Spanish girls like Lucia more I think, they all call me that’’.

‘’What do you like to be called the most?’’ You asked as the teammates were walking in and took chairs from the tables and handed out the few menus from the counter to each other.

Mariona called over ‘’Lucy you coming? You can sit here, what did you recommend again, I forgot what it was called’’.

‘’Oh I better go help her, but honestly I bet we could order anything and it’ll be tasty’’ she walked past you and whispered "but to answer your question, guapa is nice"

For a second you had to think about what she meant, but then it dawned on you, she had just told you she liked it when you called her guapa. Was she flirting? You thought and actually you hoped so, because if you were honest, the English lady was one of the most common topic of thoughts these last few weeks.

////

You had taken everyone’s orders and you now stood working behind the counter with the background sound of laughter and different conversations.

When the coffee was simmering, you grabbed the baked goods that had been ordered. While laying everything on plates on the tray you caught eyes with Lucy, she looked away quickly and pretended to listen to the conversations around her.

You kept looking at her while plating the baking’s and when she looked at you again you winked at her. Her cheeks flushed and she looked away again.

You grabbed the two trays and handed out the plates to everyone, ending at Lucy, ‘’the drinks are coming right up’’ you said in Spanish and repeated in English looking at Lucy.

‘’Nah’’ Salma said ‘’we say everything in Spanish to her, she wants to learn and she has to’’.

‘’Ah, español para la defensora inglesa, lo tengo’’ (ah, spanish for the english defender, got it) you joked.

‘’thanks Salma, I had just found someone in the city to whom I could speak normal English and not have to speak super slow and now you also order her to speak Spanish to me’’ Lucy groaned jokingly

‘’Sorry babe, pero tienes que aprenderlo’’ Salma said. (you have to learn it)

Everyone laughed and got caught up back in their own conversations.

You held Lucy’s shoulder ‘’we can stick to English if you really want that, but I was just thinking if you would like I can tutor you in Spanish, I normally teach English but I can teach you Spanish’’

You didn’t wait for an answer and quickly went back to the bar to serve everyone their drinks before you slipped in the back and started on some long overdue tasks that your mom had asked you to do a month ago but that were just boring storage chores.

After a good hour you went back in the shop, you still heard the girls talking and no one had pushed the call button on the counter so you knew the team was still occupied, you were freezing because the last 15 minutes you had spent in the freezer room doing inventory. With the clip board you went back behind the counter, ticking everything in to the laptop that was stood open.

‘’Hello’’

You recognized the voice before you looked up, it was Lucy.

‘’hola guapa’’ you joked after seeing she was stood by herself.

‘’oh yeah, spanish, so you were serious on your offer?’’

‘’Que’’ you pretended to not know English anymore.

‘’Eh .. me gusta .. acepte  tu oferte .. oferta?.’’ (I would like to accept your offer about those lessons).

You smiled while you correct her ‘’Me gustaría aceptar tu oferta’’ “But okay, if we start doing lessons, we can keep Spanish for the lessons and stick to English for now”

‘’Thanks, it’s not fair really, the Spanish lessons I get are all about football and things around that, I cant really get by in real life with that knowledge’’ She huffed.

You got your phone out ‘’okay so when are you free, for me the weekend or evenings work best’’.

Lucy stared at you.

‘’The Spanish lesson?’’

‘’ah yeah’’ Lucy laughed nervously and also took her phone out of her pocket ‘’uhm, Saturday evening? I have a match in the afternoon so I have to rest after that,. but we can do it sitting down right?’’ She tried to joke but it came out sounding more cheeky then she had meant and she blushed immediately, ‘’I mean like we will not be running’’ she hastily added.

You laughed but replied bold ‘’Yes, we can do it sitting down and we will go really slow’’ but then added ‘’because fast Spanish is very hard to understand ofcourse’’.

Lucy got more at ease, realizing you didn’t mind her flirting even if it had come out unintentionally.

‘’Maybe we can text about the details?’’ Lucy asked handing her phone with the contacts open, ready for you to put your info in.

‘’Ah are you asking me for my number’’ you joked

‘’for educational purposes only’’ she stated ‘’and maybe to ask if the teacher would mind doing the lesson over some dinner?’’

‘’Dinner, that sounds nice’’ handing the phone back ‘’okay, just text me the details, I’ll be there, . with textbooks’’.

‘’Okay’’ Lucy said and turned around to go back to the tables.

You went back to the computer and wanted to get back to what you were doing until you heard her again.

‘’Oh I almost forgot I also came here to pay’’ she chuckled.

You laughed and typed something into the cash register before turning the card reader towards her. ´’easily distracted?’’

She typed in pin after tapping her card against the machine and murmured ‘’not easily but with pretty girls around, yes’’

‘’Oh I thought it was your adhd’’ you replied back

Lucy laughed ‘’oh yeah, maybe I should’ve gone with that’’

The register showed the little green check making clear that the payment was successful ‘’No, I think I like our little tradition,. Guapa’’ you said while handing her the receipt.

Lucy laughed ‘’Okay ill keep that in mind, thank you’’ while she took the receipt from you, her fingers brushed lightly against yours ‘’also thank you so much for staying open for us and making the kitchen dirty again, im sorry about that’’.

‘Haha, don’t worry, it was my pleasure, I hope everybody liked their food’’

 ////

The days went by pretty quickly, Lucy had texted you a few hours after the team had left the shop and after every time she had gotten a matcha latte she had texted you how good it was.

Today was matchday, also the day that you were going to teach her some Spanish over dinner.

Going from a teacher to a barista made you a bit more broke, a gap that you tried to overcome with some freelance tutoring and some translating jobs here and there, but one big improvement was the free time that had come with the change.

No more papers to grade, no more lessons to prepare. So now, just like every other weekend, you were done with breakfast and was thinking about what you could do this day.

After you had done some cleaning around the apartment, which was already pretty tidy and you had done the laundry, you suddenly thought about your ´date´ tonight, you plopped on your bed and texted your best friend.

@y/n: i met someone cute and tonight im gonna teach her Spanish , help what do I wear??

*incoming FaceTime*

You accepted laughing.

‘’What the actual fuck y/n!!’’ your best friend said.

‘’What?’’ You said, still laughing.

‘’No, don’t play games with me, I hear nothing for like two weeks from you, the last time we spoke was at the gym if I remember correctly, and here I was thinking, oh im sure she’s busy with some project again, damn maybe even helping out her mom, and now I find out you were withholding me from this information, share the details, now!!’’

‘’Hahaha, Im sorry, you know how I get, I forget everything around me when im busy’’

‘’yeah okay, now hurry up tell me everything’’

‘’I love that about our friendship, that we—

‘’Y/N! who , what, where, when? ‘’

‘’Okay okay, I met her in the coffee shop, she came in one day and since then she came in everyday, I found out she just moved here from England for her job, first I didn’t know what she did, then I found out she is a football player, because she told me, and a few weeks later she didn’t come in that morning but in the afternoon the whole team came in because they hadn’t eaten yet, so I took em in, while the shop was closed, then they were teasing her a bit about having to learn Spanish faster even though she just came to this country, and she does not even bad, I mean she has the accent under control, but she told me she is half Portuguese and also she speaks French…

You looked at your phone again, halfway through your ramble you had started staring out the window as you spoke, now you saw your best friend looking at you with her mouth open.

‘’what?’’ you asked ‘’did I say something crazy?’’

‘’Lucy Bronze?’’ She asked ‘’I think you spoke with Lucy Bronze’’

‘’Yeah she is called Lucy, funny how do you know that, although,, the team calls her Lucia actually and… she told me.. I could call her guapa’’.

‘’Wow, I mean, I know you said the Barca player visit your shop, hell, I even met some off them when I was there, but like, damn, you picked up one, and I will tell you how I know her name, she is one off the best players in the world, y/n damn, she won best player of the world did you even know that, also what? Guapa?’’

You explained everything with even more detail and when your friend was finally happy with everything she knew, she asked ‘’so you know she has a game this afternoon right?’’

‘’Yeah’’ you said ‘’I will watch that I guess, if I figure out how I can, you watch It right, can you explain how I can watch that, is it a tv channel?’’

‘’Bruh’’ your friend scolded ‘’I have tried to convince you so many times to watch with me, and now one hottie comes around and you do it in a second’’

‘’You should’ve told me the players were hot , I just thought you were watching for your PE teacher reasons, inspiration for your classes or something’’ you said.

‘’You have them in your shop every week y/n, you see by yourself how they look’’

‘’yeah I just hadn’t thought about it like that’’ you said ‘’wait what did you say her name was again, im on my laptop on Instagram, I want to look at her page’’

‘’Lucy B .. R.. O .. N..

‘’Ah, got it’’ you called out ‘’woah, she has a lot of followers jeez, hey you follow her’’

‘’Yeah, ever since she played at Lyon, that was really her prime, she was so good, she still is, but you know her age and everything..’’

‘’Age?’’ you asked ‘’and everything?’’

‘’She has had like 7 knee operations, and she is 31 I believe, in football that’s old., wait actually she is 31.. isn’t that a bit old for you?’’’

You thought about it ‘’well im 25, so I guess that’s fine, damn, is she really that old? She made a younger impression, hadn’t guessed’’

‘’haha, you should tell her that, in that order too, no actually I think I once saw in an interview that her age was a sensitive point for her, so maybe don't bring it up’’

You laughed ‘’pfft, im not not going to talk about such things, if her ego is to big or she has weird quirks im out’’ ‘’she is hot tho, damn, I scrolled down to far I think, Im now seeing a bikini pic, she has abs for days damn..’’

‘’well she sure is fit’’ your best friend said ‘’if I were gay I would want to bang her too’’

‘’Oh mierda’’ you called out ‘’fuck I liked it accidentally’’

Your best friend was dying of laughter ‘’guess she will very clearly know your intentions now’’

‘’Okay I followed her also and liked the top three pics as well, she probably wont even notice, with so many followers she surely wont have notifications on right?’’

‘’Yeah true’’ your friend said, serious again.

*@never2old4lionking started following you*

‘’huh’’ you said

‘’what’’

‘’some -never too old for lionking- followed me, its an account with like 550 followers and 500 following, im guessing it’s a) Lucy herself or  b) a lucy stalker, what do you think?’’

‘’yeah stalker probably,, or maybe its like an secret account, because she is famous and all that, she cant follow her side chicks on her main’’

‘’Oh shut up’’ you huffed ‘’you pest, you-

You got interrupted by a dm, ‘’wait they send me something’’

@never2old4lionking: hola, you like my pictures? -L (maybe better known as guapa to you)

‘’OMG , it is her! Look’’ you screamed, and showed your laptop screen to your phone.

‘’Wow, reply!’’ your friend said ‘’just say you were curious about how you could watch the game because you don’t know how too and that’s why you looked her up’’

‘’Okay, lame excuse, but my brain is currently not working’’ you sighed as you typed something like that to Lucy.

@never2old4lionking: aw here I was, thinking you fancied me, and you were just looking for dodgy streaming links ☹

@y/n: why do think I was looking up how to watch, I have never watched a game, never knew there were hot people involved

@never2old4lionking: I thought you said the players are regulars at the coffee shop

@y/n: Do you have a link or what?

@never2old4lionking: I have tickets?

@y/n: what?

@never2old4lionking: its an at home game, so its around the block, just come and watch irl,

@never2old4lionking: I’ve heard the players look even better irl than on the screen 😉

@y/n: well if you put it like that..

@never2old4lionking: 1 or 2 tickets?

@y/n: I thought you were playing 😉

@never2old4lionking: hahah, your so funny! I mean do you want to take a friend with you?

‘’Say yes, say yes’’ your friend practically screamed as she heard you reading the conversation out loud while typing.

‘’Okay then’’

@y/n: ah, yes that would be nice, I have a PE teacher friend, they love football, she would be thrilled

@never2old4lionking: okay, I’ll send the e-tickets to you on WhatsApp, you sit In the friends and family section, ill try if I can spot you!

@y/n: watching my first football game live and in the family&friends section is something I would’ve never guessed

@never2old4lionking: first- like ever????

@y/n: yeah? Something wrong?

@never2old4lionking: yes? You have a friend that loves football, as you say, and you have never watched??

‘’See, I like her already, I told you sooooo manyyy times, just watch’’ your friend said excited.

‘’I can stop reading?’’

‘’ No no, okay ill shut up’’

@y/n: yeah, she asked me so many times to watch with her, she will probably either kill me when I tell her this or she’ll be your biggest fan, for getting me to watch

@never2old4lionking: hope the latter, need you alive tonight x

@y/n: yes exactly, Spanish lessons are v important ! I’ll tell her that.

@never2old4lionking: okay, ill see you soon, if anything doesn’t work just say you come for me, ill put your names on my list of guests

You shared your and your friends name and put your laptop off and away, ‘’ so now we can go back to what I was texting you about originally , outfits, but now thanks to you I have an extra event, not only teaching spanish  but also watching her play, I don’t even have a barca shirt’’

‘’which is crazy by the way’’ your friend interrupted you ‘’but I have three, so you can borrow one, do you want a training shirt, a shirt with my name on the back or Putellas?’’

‘’Who is Putellas’’

‘’omg, wait ill send you a picture’’

…

‘’oh her!, yeah I like her, she asked if they could sit in the café, she is polite’’

‘’that’s the team captain- , ugh y/n I love you so much, do you know how many people would lose their shit by what just happened, getting tickets to watch them from an actual player’’

‘’okay calm down, they’re just people, and they happen to have a special job, but should I behave different then?’’

‘’no no, I think this only happens to you because you are so pure’’ your best friend said

‘’oh come on’’ you called out ‘’just say thank you for the ticket, not all this soppy shit please’’

////

After your friend and you had hung up, your mom had called if you wanted to eat at your parents tonight, you briefly explained the situation, telling her you were eating dinner at someone else’s house and the plan about teaching her some Spanish.

But your mother saw right through you as usual, "so a date" she said excitedly ‘’wait you should bring desert, I made tiramisu, ill drop it off right now’’

Before you could even begin to form an answer she had hung up, 15 minutes later your doorbell rang and a bit after that your mom was gone again and you had an entire glass tray of tiramisu in your fridge.

You texted her thanks with a red heart, knowing she was the best mother you could ever wish for.

Your mom replied, ‘’good luck, she’s cute, hope it goes well’’

You didn't understand why your mother would know she was 'cute' but replied 'thanks'

////

Your friend and you had gotten through all the entrances and security and were finally sitting on the seats assigned to you. You were both wearing a denim skirt and an FC Barcelona shirt.

The team was doing a warm up and there was music blasting trough the speakers ‘’damn’’ you said to your friend ‘’was it always such a spectacle, they are putting on a whole show’’

‘’I mean live in the stadium it’s a show yes, honestly I should’ve thought of this sceme wayyy earlier, what a master plan! You flirt with players, we get to go to the matches for free’’ she laughed.

‘’you can forget it bitch’’ you said pushing her side

‘’what’’ she innocently said ‘’if Bronze doesn’t work out you could try Putellas, she is fruity too, and your already wearing her name’’ she laughed at that last part.

You pushed your friend again ‘’well shut up otherwise this’ll be the first and last time , I didn’t want to wear your name, what if she thought you were my girlfriend’’ you fake gagged.

Now it was your friends turn to push you ‘there was another option you know, the training one’’.

‘’Okay maybe I want to provoke her a bit’’ you admitted.

Your friend looked at you stunned not even knowing what to say.

‘’what?’’ you shrugged ‘’it will be funny, and if not, then I know I wont have to waste time on her’’.

‘’And you wonder why you are single?’’

////

Your friends hand waved before your eyes , you blinked.

‘’hellooo y/n’’ ‘’ the ball is on the other side of the field you know’’ she whispered.

FC Barcelona was 4 nil ahead and currently in ball possession, but that was indeed not what you were looking at, you were looking at nr.15 who had pulled her shirt up to wipe her sweaty face and was now running forward again.

‘’Damn, did you see her abs’’ you quietly said

‘’Bruh y/n, since when are you such a horny mf’’ she quietly replied.

‘’Its been a while okay, but also she’s very hot, it cant just be me’’

‘’No there are thousands of thirstraps made about her’’ your friend laughed.

‘the what what?’’

‘’huh’’ she now looked at you ‘’you don’t know what those are?, oh you are in for a treat!’’

She quickly showed you some things on her phone.

‘’NO’’ you held a hand before your eyes ‘’í cant be watching this, this is not okay, I am supposed to meet the woman in a few hours, sit next to her and all that, eat dinner, teaching her Spanish, damn’’

‘’sorry’’ your friend said, putting her phone away and holding her hands in the air.

‘’Wait can I see it one more time’’.

‘’Nahhhh’’ she laughed, ‘’you are right, you have to act normal later, just watch her here, look’’

And you were just in time to see her score with an header assisted with a corner shot from Guijarro.

////

That evening, after you had changed at home, you rang Lucy’s doorbell with a stack of books in your hands.

‘’Hello pretty lady, come in’’ Lucy called trough the intercom.

On the table there was paella, you were sure she had ordered it, even recognizing were she had ordered it, because you loved that shop too.

‘’Sorry I didn’t have time to cook, I had this thing this afternoon’’ Lucy joked.

‘’Ah, no worries, I had a busy afternoon myself’’ you joked back.

‘’Yeah I tried to look for you but sadly didn’t see you, you did come right?’’

‘’Ofcourse, wouldn’t want to miss that header of yours, wait’’ you said as you got your phone ‘’ill show you pictures’’

You showed her the pictures of you and your friend, you paused when it was a photo with your back visible, look we had a really good view, ‘’thanks again for the tickets, my friend had the best time also’’.

‘’Nice shirt’’ lucy grinned ‘’didn’t have a better one?’’

‘’To be honest, I borrowed this shirt from my friend, I don’t own any football shirts'' you grinned ''but whats wrong with it, you don’t like your captains shirt?’’

‘’No you look good, bet you’ll look even better with Bronze on the back’’ Lucy said still grinning.

‘’Hm, I’ll think about it, maybe if she scores more beautiful goals like that, I’ll walk past the Barca store and grab one’’. You said, acting unbothered.

‘’Okay okay, challenge accepted, next goal I score, you will wear a Bronze shirt’’.

‘’Sure’’ you laughed.

////

The evening went on, the two of you ate and practiced some Spanish, the books hadn’t been opened at all, it was more like Lucy said sentences and you translated them into Spanish and she repeated them to you and then used them in context.

‘’And what is -you played well today-‘’ Lucy asked

‘’Do you just want me to say that to you?’’ you laughed

‘no no’ Lucy laughed ‘now it sounds really bad, yeah no, I want to say it to Aitana, she cant speak english at all really, now i just say bien bien bien to her every second, feeling like a fool’’..

‘’ah okay, its ‘‘jugaste bien hoy’’ you laughed.

Lucy said it a few times, you looked at her nodding because her pronunciation was perfect.

The two of you were sat at the same side of the table, turned in your seats, facing each other.

Then she said ‘’I really want to kiss you right now’’

‘’Okay, I don’t even want to know who you’ll be saying that to’’ you joked, but its "Tengo muchas ganas de besarte ahora mismo". You looked her in her eyes.

‘’si, me too’’ Lucy grinned as she leaned in.

You accepted the initiation and pressed your lips against hers. She tasted amazing and also a bit like the paella you just ate. She placed her hands on you, trying to get you closer. You obliged and scooted forward. After the gentle exploration of each others mouths you pulled away slowly ‘’hmm, that was nice’’ you said, smiling at her.

Lucy nodded and smiled back ‘’very'', ''and just for clarification, that last sentence I did just wanted you to say to me''. She said while turning her chair, so she had the back rest in her back again but was still facing you.

You leaned in again, smiling against her lips you whispered ‘’I figured’’ and you kissed her again.

//

Her hands found your hips again, trying to pull you even closer to her, which wasn’t possible because your legs where already pushed against hers. The kiss deepened and you had your hand on the back of Lucy’s head. She was still pulling you towards her, you pulled from her mouth and kissed along her jaw. ‘’Come here’’ Lucy said with a heavy voice. ‘’Are you sure?, aren’t your legs like… tired and in need for a rest?’’ you whispered in her ear and kissed it softly.

Lucy laughed and held your face in front of hers ‘’thank you for caring but I really want you to sit on my lap,’’ ‘if you want that too ofcourse’’

You got up on her lap ‘’I haven’t learned you a lot of Spanish and now I’m disturbing your recovery, I hope I don’t have a bad influence on you..’’ you said in a seducing voice pointing a finger in her chest.

‘’Well, it sounds bad when you list it like that, luckily the dinner went well, but maybe we should make an extra effort for dessert’’ she wiggled her eyebrows at you on the last part.

‘’Mierda!’’ you said as you stood up. ‘’Shit, dessert’’

‘’I’m sorry’’ she looked a bit shocked ‘’did I take it too far, too fast?’’

You took her hand and said ‘’no, no, sorry for scaring you, I just remembered when you said dessert, that I forgot the dessert, its still in my fridge at home, mom made it and wanted me to bring it’’.

‘’You talked with your mom about me?’’ she grinned as she stood up.

‘’yeah, well no, I said I was going to eat dinner somewhere else when she asked me to eat at home, and then she filled in herself that it was a date and then she dropped off a tiramisu and emphasized that I had to take it with me because she was sure my date would like it’’ you rolled your eyes at that last part ‘’but I forgot so I don’t even know why I bring it up’’.

‘’ugh, I love Elena’’ Lucy said ‘your mom is actually amazing you know’’.

‘’huhhh, how do you know my moms name???’’

Lucy chuckled ‘’the beautiful lady behind the counter in the weekends? Oh you know, we talk about our shared interests’’

‘’Like?’’ you asked, faking a stern look at Lucy.

Lucy chuckled again and closed the gap between the two of you ‘’just food, nice weather and you know.. you’’. She laughed ‘’funny story actually, this morning she asked me If I wanted to eat dinner with her and her husband, eh your dad, because I had inspired her to make tiramisu again but she had made 2 trays accidentally and now she had to much, but I said to her that I really liked the offer but that I had a dinner date tonight, but that wanted a raincheck, but that she didn’t understand,,.. speaking of that, how do I explain raincheck in Spanish’’

You laughed and gave her a quick kiss ‘’wait now her text makes sense’’.

‘’what did she say’’ Lucy asked excitedly.

‘’She’s cute, hope it goes well, . I wondered how she could ever know’’ when you saw her cocky smile you pushed her to her chest ‘’don’t let it go to your head stupid’’.

‘’Soooo, are we going to yours?’’ She asked.

‘’Well I guess if you want that dessert, then yeah’’ you said ‘’but the dessert you were talking about just now also sounds kinda good?’’  

She gasped jokingly ‘’kinda good, you mean amazing, mind blowing, indescribable?’’

You laughed ‘’woooww, cocky much?’’

‘’Well I guess we should go to yours, then have both and you can rate it yourself’’ Lucy grinned.

////

The two of you were making out in the elevator but then the ‘ding’ sounded, that indicated you had reached the top floor, the floor of your apartment.

You had an apartment in the center of Barcelona, a quaint old building with nice high ceilings.

You opened the door and dropped your keys in the bowl that stood on the cupboard in the hallway.

‘’Wow’’ Lucy chimed ‘’this is nice, your place has so much character’’.

Your place had dark oak floors, and the accents of your interior were dark green with gold and orange accessories, there were plants here and there, including in the kitchen, where there were plants with edible leaves such as basil and chives. It was pleasantly cool in the apartment, not because of air conditioning but because the walls were so thick and all the window shutters had been closed all day.

‘’yeah i love this place, bought it a year ago through an acquaintance, I was really lucky getting it’’

Lucy smiled at you ‘’show me around?’’

////

After a while of looking at your view from the roof terrace you stood back in your bedroom, the air between the two of you thick with unanswered lust, as she stretched as you closed the balcony door you saw her abs as her t- shirt lifted up a little, she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and you saw an edge of her underwear, she was wearing boxers, - god - you thought to yourself - she's so incredibly attractive- and you couldn't help but I thought back to the thirst trap your best friend had shown you that afternoon.

You left the key in the door and walked over to her "where were we" you said softly in her ear as your hand disappeared under her shirt.

‘’hmm’’ she groaned as you placed wet kisses from her ear to her neck.

She picked you up and walked to your bed, "I believe we were kissing in the elevator, but I guess we can continue here."

Lucy sat on the edge of the bed with you on your lap, you pulled her shirt over her head, she wanted to do this to you too but you stopped her when you suddenly remembered that you hadn't put on any sexy underwear at all, you had wearing comfortable underwear that you had been wearing all day and when you changed to go to Lucy's for dinner you had only changed your clothes.

‘’Wait’’ you said ‘’i- im, I think im a bit underdressed’’ and your cheeks got red.

Lucy laughed ‘’and I thought your English was perfect, do you mean overdressed? because that's exactly what I wanted to help you with’’

You chuckled and held her shoulders, then you spoke in an uncertain voice ‘I mean my underwear, I’m wearing an ugly pair, I hadn’t really planned this far ahead’’.

Lucy brushed some hair out of your face, ''what do you want me to do, I'm sure whatever you wear you look perfect, but if you want me to do something or nothing, just say so, just talk to me pretty girl’’

You looked down and saw Lucy's beautiful body, she was wearing a black bra that fit perfectly around her breasts and below that her bulging abs were visible ‘’is it stupid if I put on lingerie now and then come back to you?’’

‘’I mean, you don’t have to do it for me, but if it gives you confidence I’m all for it’’ Lucy said as she took your hands from her shoulders ‘’or I can just undress you very quickly with my eyes closed’’ she smirked.

‘’Oh really, you don’t want to see, is that how much you care?’’ You teased pretending to be offended and crossing your arms.

She tickled you , making you squirm in her lap, you ducked to the side, onto the bed, and tried to crawl away from her.

‘’Okay okay, I surrender!!!’’ you screamed out laughing into the bed, almost running out of oxygen.

She rolled off of you and was now lying next to you on her side, you also turned to your side and you looked at each other, when your eyes met you both burst out laughing.

You stood up and she looked at you confused, ''give me one second'' you said to her, while quickly pulling a dark blue lingerie set from your closet drawer and disappearing into the bathroom.

That evening you wore tanned shorts and a matching blouse, both made of linen, with a very light green tank top underneath. You quickly took it all off and put on the blue set, then you just put your blouse over it, not caring to put on the pants and top anymore.

You opened the sliding bathroom door again and saw Lucy now lying straight on the bed, leaning on her elbows, with an expectant look in your direction. When she saw you, without pants, she sat up. You already walked over to her and climbed onto the bed until you were sitting on her lap again, for the third time this evening.

When your blouse, which you had not buttoned, fell open, her eyes took in your body.

''It's rude to stare'' you whispered as her gaze was still rested on your body.

She looked up, and you swore you recognized a twinkle in her eyes, ‘’sorry’’ Lucy said ‘’we talked about this before, pretty girls being distracting and all that’’.

You kissed her and pushed her back, forcing her to lay down again, after a hungry kiss your lips wandered to her jaw, neck, chest, then you removed her bra, she quickly cooperated.

You licked her nipples and placed some kisses along both boobs. You kissed lower and lower and landed at her stomach. You licked the lines of her toned muscles and sloppely kissed all the way to her hip bones.

She was still wearing pants, when you looked up you saw Lucy leaning on her elbows watching what you were doing, you raised your eyebrows as a form of asking for consent, she nodded eagerly, her eyes were full of lust and her pupils were dilated.

You undid the button of her pants and unzipped them, she already lifted her hips up to give you room to take off the shorts. Then you saw the black Calvin Klein boxers, with the white elastic band that you had seen a small glimpse of before, a dark spot was visible between her legs.

You placed your hands on the inside of her thighs and leaned towards her face for another kiss.

When your tongue slipped inside her mouth and your hands went a little higher up on her legs, she let out a low moan.

She tried to push the blouse you were still wearing off your shoulders, you took it off while you were still kissing and flung it somewhere next to the bed, you took of her underpants.

Lucy tried to flip the two of you ‘’nuh uh’’ you laughed after you broke the kiss and looked at her. ‘’don’t be impatient, let me make you feel good’’. You repositioned yourself so only one of your legs was in between Lucy’s and as you started kissing her neck again you pushed your knee against her core. Lucy groaned and her hips started moving, searching for some friction.

Leaving a trail of kisses along her body, you find yourself between her legs, you kissed her hips, thighs, groin, slowly working to her aching, throbbing pussy.

Lucy's hand found its place in your hair, she didn't hold it very tight but tight enough to direct your head to where she needed it most.

You decided you had teased her enough and started working with your tongue, after a few minutes she was a moaning mess, you licked her clit and also wanted to use your hand to satisfy her but you didn't know if she would like that so you looked up and asked "can I use my fingers?"

Lucy, who had laid her head down on the pillow, looked at you between her legs, your chin was glistening and there was a glint of lust in your eyes, which combined with you asking for consent could make her cum on the spot.

‘’mhmm’’ lucy moaned, her eyes rolling back ‘’please y/n, use your fingers’’.

In a few minutes you made her come, you had noticed that she wasn't really loud in the bedroom, well, of course you hadn't seen that much yet but so far it was only low groans and moans and the few words they had exchanged, you found it exciting when she had said your name and wanted to hear more.

So as you worked Lucy through her orgasm, you started to build up again, moving your fingers from circling her clit, back to inside her. Deserving a moan.

You brought your mouth back to her clit and hummed against it tasting her again. You sucked and licked, trying to discern from her reactions what made her feel best.

You took your time slowly working her up again, taking into account that she was still sensitive from the first orgasm.

When you found a good rhythm and did something that really worked for lucy, her grip on your hair tightened, "like that y/n’’ she said in a shrill voice.

Hearing your name from her mouth again was exactly what you needed and you pushed her over the edge again.

This time she came harder than the last, her legs clenched around your face, after her high, you gradually slowed your rhythm and cleaned her with your tongue.

You crawled up, because you wanted to kiss her again, and saw that she had a hand in front of her face, you pulled it aside and saw her with a completely blown out face, her cheeks were pink, her forehead was clammy and her eyes held complete bliss.

‘’Can I kiss you’’ you asked, not knowing if she would want to taste herself.

She looked at you smiling ‘’Of course you can, pretty girl’’.

..

‘’So… tiramisu?’’ Lucy asked as she pulled away from the kiss slowly regaining her consciousness.

‘’yeah’’ you said with a little disappointment in your voice, secretly hoping that she would give you something in return.

Lucy laughed, she had hoped this would be your reaction, now knowing that you wanted her as much as she wanted you, she said ''because I need some fuel for later'' and gave you one more kiss.

..

You threw a t-shirt and some briefs at her and walked to the kitchen, you were still wearing the blue underwear yourself, you put up your hair in a bun but you didn't put any clothes back on, enjoying Lucy's eyes roaming your body.

The cool air in the kitchen made your nipples hard, while you grabbed the tiramisu from the fridge and served it up, Lucy sat down at the cooking island on one of the stools.

"This feels like a dream" she said swooning, you looked up and asked "a dream?"

"Yes" she said, her eyes glued to your breasts "I'm in Barcelona with the prettiest lady I've ever seen, who just made me cum twice and now she's serving me the best tiramisu I will ever eat."

You laughed ‘’first of all, my eyes are up here’’ Lucy looked at you smugly ‘’and second of all , you haven’t even taste-

Before she could say another word Lucy had put a spoon full of the dessert into her mouth, her eyes rolled back dramatically and she moaned ‘’soooo delicious, definitelyy the best tiramisu I've eeever had’’.

You couldn't suppress your laugh, ''okay, even better, I was going to rate the two desserts, remember?’’ ‘’You don't like losing right, so you'll have to try your very best’’ you teased.

‘’i guess so’’ she smirked.

…

When you put the tray back in the refrigerator and put the plates in the dishwasher and was getting a cloth to wipe the counter, you felt Lucy coming up behind you.

She kissed your neck, while her hands held your hips, she whispered against your skin "I'm full of energy again" she kissed you just behind your ear, you shivered "how are you feeling?" Lucy asked.

‘’g- great’’ you muttered as Lucy pressed her front into your back.

‘’I forgot were your bedroom was, could you show me again’’ she whispered.

You giggled and turned around in her arms "got distracted during the tour?"

‘’Yeah like I told you before, pretty girls and all that’’ Lucy said to you and kissed you, she tasted like cacao and cream, you jumped a little when you were suddenly lifted up and grabbed onto Lucy tightly ‘’I got you’’ she said.

She walked you to the bed and carefully laid you down, you grinned at her.

‘’What?’’ Lucy asked suddenly a bit shy.

‘’You apparently knew where the bedroom was after all, I hope pretty girl wasn’t a lie..’’ you fake pouted.

‘’such a pretty girl’’ Lucy said as she sat on her knees between your legs, she looked at your breasts while her hands trailed up and down your thighs.

‘’do you like them?’’ you chuckled.

Lucy shifted her gaze to meet your eyes, she looked confused ‘’them?’’

‘’My tits’’ you said placing a hand on your chest ‘’you keep looking at them’’ you say still chuckling.

‘’hmm I don’t know, I haven’t met them properly’’ Lucy said resting her eyes back on your boobs.

 That statement turned your chuckle into a laugh, you sat up a bit more and took of your bra, you laid down again, pulling a pillow under your head.

Lucy looked eagerly and repositioned herself so she could reach your nipples with her mouth.

…

She slowly kissed her way down, you felt the air on the wet trail left behind, you thought it took way too long, Lucy took her time and seemed to kiss every inch of your body except where you wanted it most right now.

The goosebumps all over your body and the palpitations between your legs were almost too much, Lucy looked up at you, as your back arched and saw your frustrated look.

“Let's finally take this off,” she said as her fingers pulled at the sides of your thong, you lifted your ass off the bed so quickly that she laughed and she imitated what you had said to her earlier that night ‘’don’t be impatient, let me make you feel good’’.

‘’Impatient?’’ you moaned ‘’I waited all damn day’’.

‘’All evening’’, she tried to correct you.

You shook your head, ‘’no, you knew what you were doing when you lifted your shirt during warm up’’ you said pretending to be frustrated.

‘’hmmm, told you it was hotter irl’’ she laughed as she took her shirt off.

Your gaze immediately trailed to her abs.

‘’And you called me out for staring’’ she gasped ‘’don’t burn holes in them please’’ she joked as she put her hands before your eyes and kissed you.

A moan escaped your throat as the kiss became hotter and her hands were no longer in front of your eyes but everywhere else on your body.

She lowered herself to your pulsating heat, gliding two fingers between your labia she looked at you. You nodded eagerly and bit your lip.

She teased your entrance with her fingers and pushed one in slowly, your head fell back on the pillow and you closed your eyes to be able to put all your focus on the sensations that overtook your body.

As she slowly pumped in and out she kissed your inner thigh, you groaned from the extra sensation.

When Lucy felt you were ready for it she entered you with a second finger earning her another moan from you, she watched your reaction closely and had figured your body out quit quickly.

With her tongue on your clit and her fingers working magic you were almost coming undone already, she looked up at you ‘’don’t hold back y/n, come for me pretty girl’’ she cooed.

When her mouth was back on your sensitive button it didn't take long before the knot in your abdomen untied and you felt your orgasm ripple through your entire body.

She lapped up your orgasm and looked at you from in between your legs.

That image sparked a new hunger within you and you were ready to continue, you looked at her with longing in your eyes.

She came up to kiss you, but before your lips touched she asked "would you like to sit on my face now?"

You gulped and almost ran out of breath to answer ''yeah'', you answered breathing heavily from anticipation and the aftermath of the orgasm you had just had.

She kissed you and steered your body so that you were sitting on her lap again, it was so effortless, lucy was very strong, it turned you on how it felt like you weighed nothing to her.

You moaned into her mouth as you tasted yourself on her tongue.

..

You were holding the headboard as you were riding Lucy’s face, she seemed to be just as lost in the action as you were, she held you down with her hands, squeezing your ass, making you lean even deeper on her face.

You had thrown your head back and the noises you produced excited Lucy even more.

She moaned beneath you, the vibrations of that making you feel even better than you already did.

When you rutted against her face a couple more times, you came again, you rode out your high and when you felt Lucy's grip loosen you got off and laid down next to her on the bed.

Your chest rose and fell violently as you tried to catch your breath again.

Next to you, Lucy was now laying on her side, looking at you with her head resting on her hand.

You turned so that you were now lying on your side as well.

She took your hand in hers, brushing your fingers with hers ‘’was it good?’’

‘’hmm, very’’ you said closing your eyes.

She kissed your neck and your chest again ‘’ready for more’’ she asked against your skin.

You were actually quite tired already, but your hunger for more off Lucy was greater than that.

You moaned as she took a nipple into her mouth, her hand travelling further down, she entered you again, with two fingers, not just one first to let you get used to it like before.

You felt the tension in your core building up again, Lucy had an effect on you that you had never had with anyone else, just by seeing her you got impossibly turned on

She positioned herself so that she was thrusting her lower body with her hand, the fingers of which were inside you.

Now that she was sitting up straighter you had a perfect view of her abdominal muscles that flexed with every movement.

The ungodly pace she maintained, that made you feel like your body was leaving itself, floating on a cloud of pleasure, could possibly only be achieved by professional athletes, and you were amazed that she managed to do this even after 90 minutes of playing.

When she reached for your clit with her other hand and stimulated it exactly how you needed it, you came for the third time that evening.

But it was a different feeling, it overtook you, you were completely disconnected from the world and swallowed up by a sensation of pleasure that you had never felt before.

You felt so much wetness between your legs that you thought you had peed yourself, you felt it gushing out of you and when Lucy pulled out her fingers only to dip her head in, you couldn’t control they way your body reacted.

You head flung back and you arched your back, your hips jolted.

Lucy played into it and tried to push you over the edge again without overstimulating you.

It worked because you felt it happened again, this time your liquid gushed all over the lower part of Lucy's face who was still not moving away.

You were a moaning mess and you couldn't feel parts of your body, you felt too weak to push her away but you couldn't take any more.

Just as you were about to try and talk she stopped and was now placing soft kisses on you, all the way back up and she ended with a kiss on your forehead before plopping herself down next to you.

You summoned every bit of energy within yourself to turn towards her and lay down against her, half on top of her, with your head on her chest.

Her hand was on your back and every now and then she trailed a light pattern on your skin with her nails.

After a couple more minutes of blissful silence she spoke ‘’how do you feel?’’.

‘’Hmmm’’ you uttered not quite being able to speak just yet.

‘’Do you have a bathtub?’’ she asked you.

You moved your head against her chest and made a noise, you were sure she wouldn't understand but she gently got out from under you and walked to the bathroom.

…

After you heard the bath running for a while, and hearing other noises you thought were from lucy looking for some clothes and towels, you saw lucy nearing you again.

You smiled at her, having regained some of your bodily functions again.

‘’Hey pretty girl’’ she said softly ‘’ready for a bath?’’

‘’Only if you join me’’ you said cheekily, you stood up and intended to walk to your bathroom only to find yourself stumbling over your own feet.

‘’woah’’ Lucy said as she caught you ‘’wait let me help’’.

You yelped as she easily lifted you of the ground and walked you to the bath, she lowered you in carefully ‘’is the temperature good?’’ she asked.

‘’Perfect’’ you say ‘’are you coming in too?’’ looking at her expectantly.

‘’In a second pretty girl’’ she said a placed a kiss on you forehead ‘’were do you keep you bed sheets?’’

Your cheeks became redder then a tomato as you told her were she could find clean bedding.

‘Heyyy’’ Lucy said while cupping your face ‘’your not embarrassed are you?’’

You looked away ‘’yeah I am a little bit, it felt like I wedded the bed and just now tripping over my own feet, that was also kinda embarrassing’’.

‘’No, don’t be please, you just squirted and your legs will work again after the bath’’ Lucy smiled at you ‘’don’t be embarrassed pretty girl, it was very hot’’.

…

After the bath the two of you were drying off and Lucy asked, "Do you want me to go or stay?"

You looked at her in surprise ''stay of course’’ .. ‘’or did you want to leave?’’

‘’No’’ Lucy said ‘’I really like to be with you’’

‘’Is this some weird way of saying the sex was good’’ you joked

Lucy laughed ‘’no, but I’m glad you feel that way, I meant that.. I .. I if we .. would you’’.

‘’Oh spit it out’’ you laughed at Lucy getting lost for words ‘’ for a lady who just did all that, you can't be get all shy now’’ you poked her side causing her to drop her towel.

She quickly pulled it back up and around her and grinned ‘’do you want to date me?’’

You were still laughing about her nervousness but hearing the question you dropped your jaw ‘’you would want to date me?’’ you asked suspiciously.

She looked at you questioningly, and then a grin came on her face, ‘’yes I need unlimited desserts’’.

‘’’woowwww,  you could just befriend my mom you know’ .. ‘’don’t need to date me for that’’ you scoffed.

‘’Well yes, those desserts too ofcourse , but they can not teach me Spanish’’ she said, still wearing that shit eating grin.

You gasped exaggeratedly and reached for your heart ‘’is that all I am to you, a Spanish teaching dessert’’.

‘’well I mean, we said you would give ratings but if I may take the liberty to compare only the flavors, I don't know which would win, tiramisu on a close second I think’’ she winked at you.

You were too stunned to speak.

She went on ‘’but if we discuss the complete picture, the tiramisu obviously doesn't come anywhere close’’

‘’You have such a way with words’’ you say ‘’such a way with everything’’.

‘’Thanks?’’ she laughed ‘’ I hope it’s a compliment?’’

‘’Yes, it’s a compliment, it’s the reason why I say yes to your question’’.

more parts

[araminakilla]

Regarding Death Wolf...

Hear me out (NO, it's not the kind you are thinking)

We know Death has a job, right? To collect souls and most likely release them to the afterlife.

And for this job, he has to be there when somebody is about to die, as demostrated with him being there moments before Puss' eight death.

Supposing he is THE Death and he has been doing this since the beginning of time (or at least when there were enough stories of the Grim Reaper to adquire a physical form) that means he has seen a lot, A LOT of awful things.

Murders, suicides, massacres, death of infants, people who didn't deserve to die alone, animal cruelty, some other heavy stuff I won't mention here, etc etc etc.

And we thought "man, how is he able to cope with all of that? That job has to be utter torture for someone."

Probably many of you could think that he is able to do that because he is Death, and he was "born" with that purpose and only him can reap souls perfectly.

But while he is a force of nature, he also WAS a force of nature. Let me explain it well: He adquired a personality enough to be angry, excited, frustrated, amazed, happy, among other emotions.

While he has supernatural power and is most likely the most powerful being in the Shrek Franchise (or in Dreamworks as many say) he is also a PERSON.

Someone with a code of honor, morals, opinions, beliefs, etc.

Returning to the question "How can he bear all of that?" taking into account he is no longer an inevitable force, but a character of his own.

The answer is something you may relate to, and that is: Creativity and escapism.

To be the embodiment of Death, the guy is a very creative fella.

First of all, his design. I heard many people saying here and in Twitter that his design is something they would come up in their edgy, teen years of drawing their first fursona.

Guess what? They are right, the wolf form is someone's fursona. It's DEATH'S fursona. He clearly came up with this badass, piercing canine form to blend with the Fairy Tale Land assuming the form of the "Big Bad Wolf". He most likely had other forms he designed over the centuries and was able to present as them like if he were on a role play game in the living world.

His sickles? The weapon of choice with the little crossed cats on it to have a bigger effect of terror for Puss? Those who can become knuckles and join to create a scythe? Those are his creation, probably after thinking it for a while and writing all of those functions on a paper.

The way he presents himself? In the bar? The coins in his eyes as a "watching you" sign while being a cool reference to the Ferryman of souls? He transforming Perrito's forest into the background of a skull? The chilling reveal at the Cave of Lost Souls? The fire ring? It was all him.

As for the escapism part...

When the world becomes too heavy to deal with as real life issues tend to make us feel bad, depressed, angry... we tend to escape it somewhere. And in our time the common place would be the internet as in webpages or comics, stories, etc.

But what has to do with Death Wolf you may ask?

Well, while he would NEVER be able to escape his job entirely, he can have moments where he can enjoy a good hunt of people who don't appreciate life, like the whole plot of the Puss in Boots sequel could demostrate.

He managed to have a little time outside his eternal routine to chase an arrogant cat who took life for granted. He enjoyed it, it was thrilling, it was exciting.

It was a way to escape a monotonous, grim "life", if just for a short moment.

So, when the chase ended as his prey no longer feared him and now was ready to fight for his last life, the wolf retreats, happy for Puss' character development but resigned because he once again had to return to "The Eternal Duty"

And that's not even counting all the times Jack "I'm dead inside" Horner had to interrupt Lobo's hunt and remind him of his job even in his "spare time"

Death knew the chase had to end eventually, but he didn't want it to end.

He didn't want to return to his own world

And if we look at Death like that, then he is probably one of the most relatable characters Dreamworks has ever make.

In the Shrek Franchise:

Monsters can be loved

Princesses don't have to fit the perfect standards of beauty

Handsome guys can be possesive jerks

Love at first sight doesn't work like one would think

Happily ever afters had to be built and not just obtain them with magic

And Death is the most creative and "full of life" being in the world

Because he would absolutely go crazy with his life/work if he wasn't.

Because in a world of Kings, Poets and Soldiers, he's the Supreme King

And he's also a perky goth but none of you are ready for that conversation.

[adrienneleclerc]

Puppy Love

Paring: Henry Cavill X Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: Henry Cavill walking Kal and when Kal runs off, he meets a woman who has a dog that looks just like his…

Warning: no translated Spanish, spelling and grammatical errors

A/N: it’s based off the 1996 live action movie of 101 Dalmatians, they’re meet cute was ADORABLE

Henry was at home making breakfast when Kal walked in with his leash in his mouth, wagging his tail.

“What’s the matter, Bear, you want to go for a walk?” Henry asked, serving his breakfast on his plate. Kal barked as a reply. “I’ll eat first, then we’ll go for a walk.”

When Henry finished his breakfast, he pulled out his jacket form the closet and got everything he needed to take Kal on his walk. They left his house and the two were walking all calm until Kal spotted another Akita heading to the dog park with its owner and since halfway through the walk, Henry had Kal off leash (my dad does this with our dog though we tell him not to, Kal RAN to follow this mysterious Akita.

“Kal, come back here!” Henry started chasing after Kal, saying excuse me to everyone, trying to decline people who wanted photos with him as politely as he could.

Y/N was in the dog park with her Akita, Pucca, named after her favorite cartoon. Y/N had set up a picnic blanket since it’s such a beautiful day.

“You wanna play fetch, Pucca?” Y/N asked her dog and she barked as a response. She threw the back and when Pucca came back, Y/N was surprised that Pucca brought a friend who was also an Akita. “Well hello there, peludo.” Y/N began petting the fluffy dog and found his collar. “Hi Kal, where is your owner? Que tipo de persona deja a su perrito solito por aquí? Bueno, do you want a treat? Yeah right, I think you two deserve it.”

Y/N pulled out a bag of treats that she always carries and gave them two small treats each. “Fetch?” Y/N asked and she threw the ball, Pucca ran after it but Kal laid down on the grass, next to Y/N.

“Flojo.” Y/N said jokingly, letting Kal but that’s when she saw a big man try to take Pucca. “The fuck.” Y/N got up.

After getting stopped by a few people, Henry finally spotted his dog.

“There you are Kal! Don’t run off like that again, you are on a tight leash now.” Henry said, attaching the leash to ‘Kals’ collar. “Let’s go” Henry tried to move but the dog wasn’t moving. “I’m not happy right now, Kal, don’t make this difficult.” He reached down to carry the dog until he heard a woman’s voice.

“What are you doing with my dog?!?” The woman shouted.

“Listen miss, this is my dog.” Henry said.

“No she’s not, now put down MY dog before I slap you.” The woman said.

“This is my dog Kal.” Henry said.

“Oh you’re Kal’s owner. Well, that Akita’s name is Pucca.” Pointing to the dog Henry is carrying. “That Akita is Kal.” She said pointing to the Akita on the blanket a few feet away. “Can you put Pucca down now?”

“My apologies.” Henry said, immediately unclipping the leash and leaving Pucca on the ground and Pucca ran to join Kal. “I’m Henry.”

“I’m Y/N. How could you leave Kal unsupervised? What if there were actual dognappers in this park?” Y/N asked him.

“I didn’t leave him unsupervised, he ran off.” Henry asked.

“Well he clearly didn’t have a leash with him so muy responsable no es, verdad?” Y/N said.

“Well our dogs are unsupervised right now, you’re not very responsible either.” Henry said.

“It’s a dog park! As long as your dogs are trained and not reactive, they can roam around. I know most of the people on this park as well so I’m perfectly fine.” Y/N said. Henry and Y/N walked to where her blanket was and sat down so they could keep an eye on their dogs.

“Alright, I’m sorry for almost dognapping Pucca. What kind of name is that, by the way?” Henry asked and Y/N gasped offendedly

“Pucca is the name of an adorable cartoon girl that practices ninjitsu. What about Kal, hm?” Y/N asked.

“Kal is named after Superman, I played Clark Kent so I thought it was fitting.” Henry said.

“You played Clark Kent? Henry Cavill played Clark Kent in the Man of Steel movie.” Y/N said.

“I am Henry Cavill.” Henry said amused by the fact she doesn’t know who he is.

“Let me just Google this, one second. Holy shit, I just yelled at Henry Cavill, I am so sorry for suggesting you are a bad dog owner, I’m sure you’re not.” Y/N apologized and Henry laughed.

“How do you not recognize me?” Henry asked.

“Like I know you by name just not by face.” Y/N said (I admit that was me last year 😂😂)

“You never saw any of my movies?” Henry asked.

“Nope, should I watch your movies?” Y/N asked.

“Only if you want.” Henry replied and he looks at Kal playing with Pucca. “They see, to really like each other.”

“Well there aren’t many Akita owners, they aren’t for everyone.” Y/N commented.

“Since they get along really well, we should keep in touch.” Henry said, looking at Y/N.

“Are you trying to get my number, Superman?” Y/N asked.

“Yes I am. That way I could I also make it up to you.” Henry said.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, you already apologized.” Y/N said

“Well i still want to go on a date with the woman who was willing to slap me for her dog.” Henry said.

“I would have done worse too if i didn’t think you could beat my ass.” Y/N said and Henry chuckled.

“I would never lay a hand on a woman. So where would you like to eat?” Henry asked and Y/N giggled.

“Okay, coqueto, are all Hollywood actors this forward or just the British ones?” Y/N asked.

“Actually I think it’s just me.” Henry said and winked at the end of his sentence.

“In that case, i obviously like Latin food, but an Italian place would be good. Vámonos, Pucca!” Y/N yelled and Pucca moved her head and ran to Y/N to sit by her feet. Y/N told Henry to get up so she could fold the blanket.

“You wouldn’t leave without giving me your number, would you?” Henry asked.

“Give me your phone, coqueto.” Y/N said and Henry did just that. “There’s my number, call me whenever you want to set up a playdate or just a date. It was nice meeting you and Kal.” Y/N said and left with Pucca but stopped to pet Kal one more time before leaving the park completely.

“What do you think, Bear? Do we have a chance?” Henry asked and Kal barked, wagging his tail. “I thought so, let’s go home.”

The End

I think depending on the plot, Henry Cavill’s nicknames are going to be different

@warriormirkwood

[in1-nutshell]

Hi! if the request/ask is open, if so, could you do of tfrid 2015, Steeljaw's pack, and/or other cons, your choice, with human (gn! or f!) Reader? Romantic/Platonic

This Human's a cinnamon roll, somewhat naive/innocent, (has the personality/backstory of Perrito from the Puss in Boots movie or Fluttershy from MLP). They're very motherly and being nurse/therapy-like friend and also a Pacifist yet can be passive-aggressive…

I loved Perrito's character in the movie! His backstory bits where a bit of a twist yet it works! I hope I did a good job adopting his character into Buddy's. Lets see how Buddy's dynamic goes with some of the members of the Con's pack.

Hope you enjoy!

Steeljaw and his pack reaction to Bot Buddy with the personality of Perrito from "Puss in Boots the Last Wish"

SFW, platonic, mention of tragic backstory and some injuries, Cybertronian/ Bot Reader

Rid 2015

Bot Buddy is a minicon with a dog alt mode.

Why is the world is Buddy with these criminals?

Well, Steeljaw had stumbled across the confused minicon with a large garbage can on top of their helm. He grabbed the can off to see Buddy.

“Oh! Thank you!”--Buddy

“Erm… you’re welcome?”--Steeljaw

“Wow it’s been a long time since I’ve talked to someone. Even longer since that can’s been on my helm! That reminds me—”--Buddy

“Right… Do you have a place to go? A team perhaps?”--Steeljaw

“Nope I’ve been a part of a team before but more importantly do you want to be my friend? I can do cool tricks, I have a handy tool kit and—”--Buddy

“Can you do patch work?”--Steeljaw

“Oh you bet I can!”--Buddy

“Hmmmm… I guess I could be your friend— what are you doing?”--Steeljaw

“I’m trying to hug you?”--Buddy

“… Oh Primus…”--Steeljaw

If the Autobots could have a minibot, why couldn’t he? Buddy becomes a medic for the Cons as more join the ranks. The Cons, especially the newer ones, don’t know who Buddy is even around them. They know that they aren’t innocent and pure, but Buddy seems to be made of pure light and positivity that it hurts.

Steeljaw

Steeljaw doesn’t regret picking up Buddy despite what he might say sometimes when he is angry.

Buddy had made themselves a rather vital member of the pack whether it was intentional or not.

Not only was Buddy excellent at patchwork, but there was something about them that made everyone let their guard down.

Steeljaw even felt himself slipping sometimes when their talks go on for a bit.

“Oh! That reminds me of the time my friend pushed me off the ship while the ship was taking off! I fell near some of the acid waste, but I managed to land on a pile of sharp scrap. Oh! I also saw the prettiest piece of kibble that day!”--Buddy

“You’re friend… pushed you off a moving shuttle?”--Steeljaw

“No, the accidentally pushed me after they opened the shuttle door.”--Buddy

“…”--Steeljaw

He is disturbed hearing Buddy backstory.

Just how??

Their backstory screams anger, pain, resentment. Buddy just smiles and looks at their experience positively.

If the Bee team ever came across Buddy and tried to ‘rescue’ them, Steeljaw is unleashing the entire pack on them.

Buddy belongs to the pack and no Autobot is going to take them away from pack.

Thunderhoof

Thunderhoof was confused over Buddy existence. He has never met a bot this nice; it seems suspicious.

If they’re playing a game, then so can he!

It isn’t until Thunderhoof has a ‘friendship bracelet’ around his servo that he realizes that this might not be a game.

He takes Buddy under his metaphorical wing.

He does tell Buddy that he expects their loyalty, but Buddy is too busy hugging his ped to really notice too much.

Buddy mentions a bit of their backstory and he has to pause whatever he is doing.

“That was so cool! That reminds me the one time some of my friends and I were playing hide and seek—”--Buddy

“Hmm yeah?”--Thunderhoof

“—And I had to hide and, and guess what? Guess what Thunderhoof!”--Buddy

“What kid?”--Thunderhoof

“I hid in a scrapyard for 3 weeks! I am still the best hider ever! They said they checked everywhere but that just proves how good of a hider I am!”--Buddy

“…What?”--Thunderhoof

How was Buddy not vengeful? Not bloodthirsty? Not mean?

After all of that…

Thunderhoof does have a chat with Steeljaw about their past and they both agree to keep an optic on them.

He is ready to ram any bot if they come close to Buddy.

Underbite

Meeting Buddy was rather eventful as Underbite nearly ate them. A swift kick to the helm via Steeljaw stopped that though.

He ‘apologized’ and to his surprise Buddy forgave him.

Underbite brags all the time about his achievements to Buddy and Buddy just listens happily.

He comes to Buddy when he feels the need to brag mainly.

Buddy mentions a bit about their backstory, and he feels uncomfortable.

“The way you crushed that tin can reminds me that time my friends brought me to a trash crusher and accidentally pushed the on button! They were so silly and it was such a fun prank.”--Buddy

“You… nearly got crushed in a crusher?”--Underbite

“Yeah! Its was such a cool prank!”--Buddy

“… I’m just gonna go over there for a bit…”--Underbite

He doesn’t press anymore on this subject. This is not his suite and will not touch the Feelings.

He is willing to help Buddy out of a tight situation.

Who else is he supposed to brag to about his achievements.

Clampdown

He uses Buddy at first.

No one in the pack can seem to hurt Buddy so they make a perfect shield.

This has worked for a while. Buddy even offered to be his shield which he greatly takes advantage of this.

Until Buddy lets loose one of their backstory tales he backs off immediately.

“Are you okay?”--Buddy

“Yeah, yeah I guess still got my shell.”—Clampdown

“That reminds me the time my friends accidentally forgotten me under some rocks for a bit. And guess what!”--Buddy

“…what—”--Clampdown

“I chewed my pedes off to get out and crawl to a med kit! I saw the prettiest sunset that day.”--Buddy

“… I—I—Who are you?”--Clampdown

He is horrified hearing this and thinks that Buddy is an evil mastermind.

This was all an act! It has to be!

He does not care too much about if Buddy was taken by the Bee team. Maybe a little bit guilty, but that’s about it.

Quillfire

Like everyone else Quillfire is confused and suspicious of Buddy. After a bit of time, he gets used to Buddy.

He can rant and tell Buddy of his plan for revolution.

Buddy just listens intently and just feeds off of his enthusiasm.

He gets in on some of Buddy’s backstory and he is horrified.

“You throw those quills so far Quillfire!”--Buddy

“Yes! Each one was in the name for the Revolution!”--Quillfire

“Yeah! The Revolution! You know, this reminds me of that one time one of my friends thought it was funny to put me in a stasis pod and, and guess what! They shot me out of a canon into space! That’s actually how I got here—Umm… Quillfire?”--Buddy

Quillfire hugging Buddy with some tears in his optics.

How could sweet little Buddy be okay after that!? Quillfire wants to wrap them in a blanket and give them a cube full of energon. They deserve better friends.

Quillfire will die for Buddy.

He will throw any plan to the wind if Buddy is in danger. Quills will be thrown if Buddy is in danger.

[asmallpinkfan3]

Request:

Can I request some death x life! Reader? She's the opposite of death and married to him? (Y/n) is a friend to Perrito as she would protect that pup and she was very happy that Perrito was able to find new friends. (Y/n) was the one who saved Perrito from getting drowned as she sees all life as her “children” and it pained to see Perrito nearly die.(Y/n) came across death in the last part of the movie as she was apologizing at Puss on her husband’s behalf.

I actually think this is a cute idea and I find the idea of y/n thinking of all life forms as her kids is amazing. Also it’s Kinda of gonna go along with y/n just being in the movie? Like she follows along by team friendship but they don’t know she’s there and just spy’s on them to make sure that perrito is in good hands.

Death with a wife who is the embodiment of life!

Fem! Reader she/her pronouns.

Warnings: a little bit of angst, spoilers to perrito’s past. Also it’s gonna be a bit long. And some fighting.

You had lived for over a million years, you graced the earth with life while your husband was the one to end the timer of their limited life. You both have done your jobs for all your immortal lives. You appreciated all life form on the earth and soon you thought of them as your own children.

You were walking down a river with a small smile at the beautiful landscape. You heard a noise not to far from you and your eyes widened rushing towards the noise. As you got closer you saw a sock and some movement. Reaching out for the sock you then saw a head of a puppy looking happy but also confused. “Hello”! The puppy piped, your eyes went wide. “You can talk”? You asked and he nodded. You soon came to realize that he chewed a hole in to the sock but there was a couple rocks still in the bottom.

“Here let me get that for you my child”. You said softly pulling the rocks out. He shook the water off his fur. Smiling softly you rubbed his head,”what happened to you, why are in a sock with rocks?” You asked the naïve puppy in your arms as you pet him. “I’m it all the time In hide and seek, my litter mates always tired putting me in dumpsters, crates, but I always found them”! He says and your eyes went wide realizing what he was going through. “Today they got creative and so they put me in a sock with rocks in it and threw me in the river”!

You swore you felt your heart ache at that. “Oh my, how could they do that”? You felt slightly angry at his owners for nearly killing an innocent puppy. “Oh well I gotta go thank you for helping me out of the river after all I’m still it”! He yells jumping from your lap and running off.

Upon arriving home you were greeted with your husband, “hello darling how was your day”? You asked him always interested in how his day was even after millions of years. “It was actually a slow day today, what about yours”? He asked your eyes slightly averted from his. “It was a little sad”. You stated and his eyes softened. “Oh how so”.? “I was walking Down the river and I saw a sock”. Your husband could only nod and his ears were slightly perked. “When I got closer to the sock I saw a head pop out and their big eyes staring into to mine”.

Death slowly rubbed a paw against your back in a way to still show he was still listening. “When I took them completely out of the water I saw that there were a few rocks in the bottom of the sock”. “Then when I asked him what happened to him and why he was in there he said it was a game of hide and seek”. Your husband saw some tears form in your eyes and he gently wiped them away. “At least you saved him from drowning right”? He told you with a gentle smile as he cupped your cheek. You smiled at that and took note that you would do anything for the puppy.

About a year later you had heard of the infamous puss in boots, and how he wasted his lives. One day you had heard you husband grumble at how he finally got to go after the cat who thought he was immortal. “Hey muerte does he not have 1 life left”? You stated as you folded some laundry. “Yes but mi vida he didn’t value any of them”. “True but I say let him live his life I mean since he’s on his last life he might just settle down”. You simply stated folding one of your shirts. “I figured I’d take it now so he doesn’t die of accidentally falling off a cliff”. You laughed at that. “He claimed to be immortal and I want him to know that he’s not, and cause I’ve been following him for years”.

You sighed at your husband’s words and put the folded laundry up. “Hey I’m gonna head into town do you need anything”? You asked while grabbing your cloak. “No I don’t think so”. He responded from the other room.

About an hour later after visiting the market for some stuff for dinner. As your walking back you her a noise from below you and you see what seems to be an orange cat running for his life. “Huh he looked like puss in boots”. You say to yourself.

A couple months later you see your own husband go to the dark forest and out of curiosity you followed. ‘Oh lord what is he gonna do now’. You mentally asked yourself. Stepping inside you saw colorful hills and some big blue flowers in the distance they seem to have caught your attention. Making your way over you saw two cats and one small dog. You felt as though you knew the dog. “What’s your story”? Kitty soft paws asked the dog. “My story? Oh it’s actually a funny story”. You listened silently wondering why he was so familiar. “Back when I was a pup me and my litter mates lived with a family”. “A family full of pranksters who liked to play hide and seek and I was always it”. Your eyes widened as you thought of how could you meet the puppy you saved, but then he continued. “Pick on the little guy am I right”? “They tried putting me in a packing crate, a dumpster, no matter how hard they tried I’d always find them”. You could feel the familiar heart ache creep up on you. “So one day they got creative and they put me in a sock with rocks in it and threw me in the river”. You saw how kitty’s and puss’s eyes widened. “I somehow started above the water cause I saw a very pretty lady pick me up and take the rocks out”.

You smiled and realized that this was the puppy you saved just the year before. You saw how happy he looked with puss and kitty. You felt relieved at the fact that he found some people who would also protect him. You spied on them more then your husband because you wanted to make sure they were ok. Puss threw his stick sword out after receiving the blade from kitty, but then peritto jumped out to grab the stick. “Perrito”! Puss yelled, you had a bad feeling about what was going to happen.

You watched as jack horner came out from the bushes and had Perrito in his hand. “Hand over the wish or we can see what the unicorn horn can do”. “Put him down little jack Horner”! You yelled jumping down from the hill you were recently watching them from. Landing behinds kitty and puss you glared at jack. “Put him down little jack”. He glared right back at you, “oh what are you gonna do about it”? He now pointed the horn to you, “if you don’t want the puppy getting hurt why don’t I hit you with it instead”? He offered to which you smiled cause I mean you literally the embodiment of life he could hurt you with a single horn.

“Shoot away little jack”. You said, shooting the horn at you easily dodged and went straight for perrito. As all hell broke lose of fighting over the wish you grabbed perrito and caught a glimpse at puss being visibly uncomfortable and when you looked behind him you saw none other then your husband. Puss ran off and perrito jumped out of your arms and ran after puss.

About two hours later you caught up with team friendship and the others on the wishing star. There you saw puss and your husband fighting. “I know I can never defeat you Lobo but I will never stop fighting for this life”. Puss said aiming at death. Death growled as he picked up his sickles and slowly walked closer towards puss. You ran to the fire wall and stood beside kitty and perrito. Puss still holding his sword up as the giant wolf lowered his face to puss’s he growled for then turned away angrily. Slashing his sickles against the star, “por qué diablos fui a jugar con comida”?! “Your ruining this for me”. Turning back to puss he put a sickle under puss, “I came here for an arrogant little legend who thought he was immortal”. Death then sighed, “but I don’t see him anymore”.

Spinning the sickles he put them back in his belt,”live your life puss in boots live it well”. He said walking to the barrier. He turned his head back one last time and simply asked “you know we will meet again right”? “Si hasta la muerte”. Puss responded back, turning back to the barrier a whistle came from death before he entered it.

The fire wall ceased, perrito ran over to puss. Puss have him a hug with a small chuckle, kitty and you started to walk closer. “You know when you said death was after you I thought you were just being melodramatic”. You laughed at that, “no my husband is straight death, just like I’m life”. You told them to which the three looked at you. “Your married to death”?! Puss exclaimed, “yes and I’m sorry for all the trouble he caused you my child”. You apologized to him and now he was even more confused, “why did you call me your child”? Puss asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Just like how my husband is the embodiment of death, I’m the opposite I’m the embodiment of life, and I think of all living beings as my children”. You stated while you petted parrito’s head. “I’m the lady that saved parrito that day in the river”. And perrito’s eyes widened. “Please take care of him, and don’t throw him into a river or else”. You said narrowing your eyes at both puss and kitty. They both nodded and smiled nervously. “Though I wish you appreciated all of your lives puss, please make sure you appreciate this one for as long until you have to meet my husband again”. You said while standing up and turning to the barrier.

“Si señorita vida”. Puss responded hugging perrito again. “Bye miss life thank you for getting me out of the river”! Perrito yelled as you walked closer to the barrier. “No problem my child”! You yelled back as you entered the colorful wall.

Sorry This took longer then I wanted and if there is any bad Spanish translation please tell me. I actually liked writing this one. It’s actually my longest fic yet. 

[cherrygummycandy]

Rescue from the Rescue

A platonic! Puss-in-boots and Perrito x reader

Summary: Working as a helper at Mama Lunas isn't always easy, and unexpected things can happen. Though, you never though meeting a Spanish-speaking cat and a dog dressed as a cat would be one of those things.

(An: This request was orginally for a younger niece or nephew of Mama Luna, but I didn't want to make it too gender specific (and I couldn't for the love of me figure out how to make a realistic family tree for Luna) so I made the reader an occasional volunteer. Please enjoy!

🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛

Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. The scratchy sound of the broom rings out as your broom glides across the floor, as bits of fur, spare litter, and kibble are swept up into the dustpan. You hum a soft tune, swaying in turn to the beat. "Oh, Little Helper, come here!" Mama Luna's voice rings out across the brightly colored casa. "Coming, Miss Luna." You prop the broom up against the wall, grabbing the dustpan and dumping the contents in the nearby trashcan. 'Don't want any of the cats trudging through this and undoing my work.' You think, placing the now empty pan back by the broom.

You hurry through the house, tiptoeing across persians, shorthairs, and tabbies as you attempt not to step on any tails. You step into the living and sigh in relief, having dodged all the cats. Mama Luna sits in her rocking chair, knitting what appears to be yet another pair of cat mittens. "Oh, come here child." She waves you over, eyes not leaving the yarn project in front of her. "I'm planting a catnip bush out by the garden, would ya' mind tilling the soil?" She asks, stopping to push her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. You nod, but pause with a grimace when you see the plethora of cats napping atop her ratty grey hair. "Yeah, sure. Do you know where the garden supplies are?" She waves a hand over in the direction of the backdoor. "Just check the bag by the door." As you step away, slipping at the back door, you hear her call. "Thank ya', Little Helper! I'll make ya a real nice sweater for this. You giggle a little, and shake your head.

🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛

Stepping down the rickety steps of the porch, you enter the garden. Bright stone walls enclose the area, decked out with various hanging plants. The ground is carefully decorated with all sorts of colorful plants, from poinsettias to marigolds. You smile, remembering the first time you entered Mama Luna's garden, coming to ask for some Marigolds for your Dia De Los Muertos altar. Honestly, you have no idea she managed to keep this garden looking so nice before you came along, seeing as anytime you see her she's knitting or bathing cats.

Just as you begin looking for a trowl, your ears perk up at a nearby sound. "So, Pickles, what do you want to do today? I was thinking-" "WE are not going to do anything, Perrito. I am going to sun in el jardín." You watch in amazement as what appears to be a talking cat strolls into the garden, standing on two legs. Behind him follows a, cat? 'What is that thing?' You think, tilting your head in confusion. The scrawny creatures look less like a cat, and more like a rat in a feline costume. "Oh! Sunning, just like a real cat! I'll join you, maybe I can sun my belly." The little animal says. "Um, excuse me?" You say, stepping forward to make your princess known. The orange cat jumps in shock, dropping to stand on all-fours, while his companion lowers his head, and attempts to use his hood, which has a cat face poorly knitted on it. "Uh... meow?" The orange cat tries. You furrow your brows, before looking back toward the house in realisation.

"Oh, you're worried Mama Luna will hear you. I won't tell her anything, I promise." You place a hand on your chest and kneel down, reaching the orange tabby's height. "I'm Mama Luna's helper, I just stop by from time to time, helping her with chores and what not. And you are?" The cat hesitates, green eyes looking you over cautiously, before standing back on two legs and taking a dramtic bow. "I am known by many names, but you, pequeño ayudante, may call me Puss." You smile, amused. "But your tag says pick-" "I know what the tag says! That is simply the name given to me by the-" Puss shudders, and glances at the house. "Iady of the house." He finishes. As you nod, your attention is drawn to his friend behind him.

"Who's your friend, Puss?" You ask, looking at the strange sweatered animal. Puss sighs, gesturing weakly with a paw. "This is Perrito, and, he is not my friend." Puss explains, barley glancing at Perrito. "Perrito... the cat? That seems like an odd name." You feign confusion, slowly reaching for Perrito's hood. Suddenly, you flip it back, revealing the a small, scrappy looking dog. "A chihuaha?" You exclaim, as the dog yelps. "Oh! Please, please, please don't tell Mama Luna, I don't really go into the house, I live under the por-" Perrito goes on, frantically rambling about his living conditions under the porch. Puss scoffs, turning away from the dog and pressing a paw to his forehead. You, on the other hand, feel your smile drop at the pitiful little pup. "Hey, calm down, please?" You ask, putting your hands out in front of you. Perrito's rambling stops and he looks up at you. "I'm not gonna kick you out or anything, I promise. You're a stray, right?" He nods. "Look, I know Mama Luna probably wouldn't be to keen on keeping a dog, or letting a walk around talking and standing." You admit. Perrito and Puss watch, waiting for your next words. "But, I'm not Mama Luna, so I guess I'll have to let it slide." Puss smiles and nods with gratitude, while Perrito hops up in delight. "Oh wow! Can you believe it Puss? Now, I've gone from no friends, to two friends in one day!" Perrito exclaims, tail wagging back and forth.

"We aren't amigos, amigo." Puss retorts. "Look, I have to finish tilling the soil, Mama Luna wants some new plants going in over there." You point towards the northern end of the garden, to a small bare patch under a tree. "But, once I'm done, maybe you guys can tell me a bit about yourselves?" You suggest. "Wow, Okay! Hey, I'm really good at digging. I bet if I help, we can get done even quicker!" Perrito exclaims. Before you can even respond, he bounds over to the unused soil and begins to dig at a frantic pace. You chuckle to yourself, and look a Puss. "He's... a bit odd, no?" Puss says, tilting his head as he watches Perrito fall into a hole that he just dug. "I'll say. Y'know, I'm looking forward to learning more about you, Puss. It's not everyday I meet a talking cat." You say, looking to the ground sheepishly as you kick a pebble. "Well, it seems like Perrito could be at it for a while... why don't I just started with the story now, sí?"

🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛🗡💛

It's been several hours, much longer than you realize, since the three of you began to discuss your pasts. You were amazed to learn about the adventures of Puss. You couldn't imagine going through half the things he has. Not only that, but you didn't actually know cats had nine lives, you always assumed it was a myth. "So, I say to the man, 'That is the last time you'll cross Puss-in-boots!'" Puss exclaims, finishing a story. Perrito stands on his hind legs and claps, while you let out a loud cheer. You quickly cover your mouth to stifle the sound, realizing Mama Luna must be asleep. "Oh my god, w-what time is it?" You ask, looking up and realizing how dark it's gotten. "About 9:00, why?" Perrito asks. You hop up quickly, moving up the steps and towards the backdoor. "I need to pack up, I must've gotten carried away with your great story-telling puss." You compliment. Puss follows you in, but Perrito stops at the edge of the door. "Perrito, you sure you don't want to come in? Mama Luna's sight isn't what it used to be." You suggest Perrito smiles, but shakes his head. "Nah, I've got a cozy corner under the porch waiting for me, besides, the rats are probably expecting me back." He gives you a goodbye, and you smile sadly as the chihuaha scrambles under a lookse board of the porch, fall down under the porch with a 'pop'.

You hurry to begin the journey back home, tying your boots and avoiding cats as you grab your bag and coat. As you do a last minute chek, to ensure everything you need is with you, you see Puss out of the corner of your eye. He is stood leaning against the bottom of a bookshelf, seemingly conflicted. "Puss?" You ask softly. His head snaps up, and he looks at you. "Are you okay?" You ask. "Fine, just thinking is all." He says. You feel that there is something more, but simply turn away. As your hand moves to reach the door, he says one final thing.

"How often do you stop by?"

[m4ctavish]

Alejandro Vargas — 141. (Pt. 1)

Masterlist.

Pairing : Alejandro Vargas/GN! Reader

Desc : Developing interest in a 141 soldier wasn’t exactly on Alejandro’s bingo card but here we are.

A/N : I’m here for the Alejandro love. Also, 1) ¿Nuevo perrito faldero? = New lapdog?

Alejandro Vargas :

The moment you stepped off the transport helo and onto the airstrip, Alejandro’s eyes were on you.

There was just something about you that drew his attention and he couldn’t quite place it. Was it your gaze? Perhaps the way you carried yourself? Or was it the way you tilted your head at him in silent inquiry?

He brushes it off as simple curiosity, though. You were something new in a place of familiarity and it was just human nature to be curious about the unknown, nothing more.

But it could never just be that, could it?

You were quite curious about him as well, though. He was one of Laswell’s many contacts but he was a new face, one you were inclined to learn more about.

On the drive through Las Almas, the two of you exchange stories from your time in the service with you telling about some of your near death experiences in the 141, as well as some of the more absurd moments (things like free falling out of a transport helo, hanging out of a moving vehicle, etc.); Alejandro inquires about how you came to work under Taskforce 141. (It’s not really that exciting as it may sound though. Price presented you an offer that’d make use of your skills and you accepted, nothing more nothing less.)

Aside the raw magnetism you seem to emanate, Alejandro is drawn to your efficiency in the field. He likes the way you work. (He’s watching you intently as you kick down the door to a building, a stun grenade being thrown in to the fray soon thereafter. Moments later, you’re cleaning up house with a few quick but well aimed shots, a sharp, “Floors clear. Moving to next level,” following suit)

On the trails through the mountains, you’re following close behind him, careful not to lose your footing on the rocky incline. This isn’t exactly how you imagined your week would be going; running from the Mexican Army, sliding down some countryside trails with bullets raining down on you from every angle. But some things never go according to plan, do they? (And to be fair, you signed up for this.)

If you do lose your footing, he’ll be sure to pull you upright with a playful but subtly flirty, “Falling for me already, eh?”

When it comes to the drop off of the cliffside, you’re following right after him, “I HOPE YOU’RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS, COLONEL!” The wind is whipping past your face and your heart is pounding with adrenaline as the water below you continued to get closer and closer as you descended. Alejandro hit the water sooner than you did, surfacing just moments before you breached the water’s surface and were sent under. It’s absolutely fucking freezing and you’re soaked, but you’re alive.

I feel like his interest would build gradually but I also don’t think it’d be anything serious yet. I don’t think he’d be announcing his love for you by the weeks end considering the short amount of time the campaign took place over but I think it’d still give him enough time for him to be like, “wow, this person is cool. maybe i should talk to them more when we aren’t at risk of dying.”

What’d really get him though is if you actively went out of your way to protect one of his people and/or him. Be it by pulling them behind cover or tending to his wounds if it’s just the two of you. (The two of you are sitting in a building, with you crouched beside Alejandro as he propped up against a wall. You’re tending to a wound on his upper arm, a tense silence washing over the two of you. You’re keeping pressure on it with your left hand as your other scoured around for whatever it was you were looking for; preferably some wrap and gauze. He’s wincing every time you shift your fingers; you’re trying your hardest not to hurt him but it’s a bit hard to avoid. A quiet, “ ‘M sorry,” escapes you as you shift a bit closer, finally having found whatever it was that you were looking for. He gives an affirmative, “Hm.” He’s trying to distract himself from the pain with the way your hands move, gloved fingers now stained a deep crimson. When he finds himself unable to look at your bloodied hands any longer, he’ll find himself looking at the way your eyes glance this way and that way, as well as the color of them. “Got me good, no?” The question isn’t exactly directed at you but you find yourself huffing a small laugh and shaking your head, “If they were any better, you might be dead right now.”)

Meeting Valeria/El Sin Nombre is when things get interesting and somewhat difficult. She picks up on the way the two of you share a few glances every now and then almost instantly, sending Alejandro a curt, “¿Nuevo perrito faldero?” (1) Of course what’s going on between you and Alejandro is nothing serious yet and if anything is just back and forth banter with some subtle flirting, but the fact that she picked up on it that quickly is enough for him to get defensive fairly quickly. You know better than to respond to her and her ribbing— she just wants a reaction out of you. (But does knowing that stop you from responding? That’s up to you ig)

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Perrito Chapter 3: Position - Lalo Salamanca/FTM Reader (NSFW!)

your first 24 hours on the job. you're starting to adjust to daily life as lalo's puppy, though there's a feeling of dread that you can't quite shake. tags/warnings: oral sex, vaginal sex, petplay, humiliation/degradation, exhibitionism, stalking, non-consensual body modification, gaslighting, psychological abuse, intoxication (weed and cocaine) anatomical terms: cunt/hole, t-dick word count: 9,139 (most normal lalo stan) ao3 link author's notes: we're so back (in all /srsness thank y'all for supporting me these past few months as i have been Going Through It. i promise the next chapter will not take this long) como siempre no soy un hablante nativo pero estoy aprendiendo. entonces por favor corríjame si se encuentra algo de errores :3

This was not the first morning you woke up feeling like a complete and utter dumbass.

And it probably wouldn’t be the last. 

Though as you prodded the bruise on the underside of your bicep, you struggled to think of a time that you’d fucked up even half this bad. 

The only thing that came close was the day you got arrested. You remember it in flashes. First, you were in the passenger seat of a car, nothing fancy. You couldn’t recall if it was a Honda or a Hyundai, but you were never much of a car person anyway. Whatever it was, it was blue, and parked in a seedy alleyway. You had your mouth on a cock, one of many you’d taken before, thinking about what you’d get for lunch after this. Anything that would get the taste of cherry-flavored condom out of your mouth. Suddenly, there was a knock on the window, and you and your client were dragged out of the car by two nosy officers. Handcuffed, bent over the hood, and trying your hardest not to cry, one of them patted you down, and reached into one of the small pockets in your denim booty shorts.

“Yep. Cocaine. So now we can add possession of a schedule two narcotic to your charges.”

Just your fucking luck. That morning, a client had given you an 8-ball in exchange for a discounted blowjob. It would’ve been cheaper to just pay your normal rate, but he said he was trying to kick the stuff and it was just collecting dust in his possession. You had no interest in trying coke for yourself, but you figured you could sell it pretty easily. After all, what’s one illegal trade versus another? Plus, the guy had said it was high quality. Allegedly, it was the good shit from Mexico. 

Mexico. 

Maybe it was Salamanca product. 

Maybe Lalo had been controlling your life for longer than you thought. 

The next thing you remember was crying in the interrogation room. 

You’d refused to talk to the pigs, as you should’ve. You weren’t that stupid. You knew nothing good would come of it. They could just lie and say whatever asinine thing they felt like to get you to snitch on yourself.

“We just want to know what happened, kid.” Bullshit. 

“We’re trying to help you.” No you’re not. 

“Cry all you want, but you got yourself into this mess. If you talk to us, we can find a way to get you out of it.” Fuck. You. 

Blubbering, choking on snot and tears, more scared than you’d ever been in your entire life, you stood your ground.

“I’m… *sniff* I’m invoke- invoking my… *sniff* right to remain s-silent and my right- *sniff* right to c-counsel… P-P-Please…” Breathe. Just breathe. In, then out. Innn, ouuut… Okay. You’re okay. You can do this. What’s the next line? “P-Please provide me with an attorney.”

To their credit, they did. The next person you spoke to was a public defender, a guy in his 40s who looked like he hadn’t slept in days. You remember what he said when he saw you.

“Oh jeez, you poor kid. Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay. Please, please don’t cry. I, uh… I think I got some napkins you can use.” He’d opened his disheveled briefcase and handed you some thin fast-food napkins. As you mopped up your misery, he took out a pen and paper, and sat down across from you. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. Also, he was a sympathetic crier, so he didn’t want to make things harder for himself. “My name’s Jimmy. I’m gonna be your lawyer. Can you tell me your name, bud?” 

Jimmy tried. He really did. But the best deal he could get for you was 6 months. You remember the look of sadness on his face when he told you that you’d be going to prison. You broke down, sobbing violently into your palms. You heard his voice crack under your heavy burden. 

“I know… I know, kid. I’m sorry. Just let it out.”

“I’m gonna die in there… I’m gonna die…”

“No, no, no! No, you’re not! Keep your head up, okay? 6 months will be over before you know it.”

“No, you don’t understand…”

You came out to him, and his face contorted in horror when he realized what you’d be subjected to. Jimmy felt like the worst lawyer in the world; he somehow managed to get a client the death penalty for prostitution and a few grams of coke. He had never felt so fucking guilty. At least he gave great hugs. 

The cops who did your strip search did not. 

Your memory got hazy from this point. You dissociated through the entire intake process, mindlessly following directions. Stand here, turn, turn, face forward. Walk. Stand here. Take your clothes off, oh dear god. Run your fingers through your hair. Open your mouth. Squat. Cough. Put your new clothes on. Take your stuff. Go to your cell. You were lucky to not have a cellmate assigned yet. You could spend your first few hours of incarceration crying in your bed alone.

At lunch, you went to the shower, and the rest was history. 

And a few weeks later, you were laying in a luxurious bed, waking up well-rested from the amazing sex you were being paid $10,000 a week to have. 

And you had a microchip in your arm. 

This wasn’t post-nut clarity; this was post-nut psychosis. No, post-nut divine revelation, like God himself had come down from Heaven just to call you a braindead dipshit who should’ve seen this coming. Like the 2nd-generation cartel boss that paid you to live in his house and drain his balls wouldn’t find a way to track you wherever you went, dumbass? What were you thinking, huh? Are you fucking stupid? Huh? Are you? Are you stupid?

Probably.

You probably were stupid.

But you definitely were hungry, and hell, Lalo promised you breakfast once you woke up and came down to the kitchen. If there really was a microchip in your arm, it wasn’t exactly going anywhere. You might as well enjoy the perks of your situation, of which there were many. Maybe a full stomach would empty your head.

Having completed your morning routine in Lalo’s master bathroom, you threw on some casual clothes, stared at the dog collar your reflection wore, and headed downstairs to the kitchen, where Lalo was eagerly waiting for you, with an apron tied taut around his slutty little waist. 

He gasped in delight when you finally graced him with your presence. “¡Buenos días, perrito! (Good morning, doggy!)” He ran up to you and gave you a warm, tight hug, one that could’ve lulled you right back to sleep if he kept it up for long enough, especially with such soothing puppytalk. “Ay, mi chiquito lindo, te quiero muuucho. Te quiero, te quiero. (Ay, my cute little boy, I love you so muuuch. I love you, I love you.)” But instead, he eventually broke the hug to kiss your forehead and pat you on the shoulder. “You sleep okay?”

You slept fine, but waking up was another story, a story that you didn’t tell. “Yeah, I’m good.” You yawned and stretched once he let you go. “That bed is super comfortable. Way better than what I’m used to.”

“Well, get used to it! It’s definitely a step up for you. Good for your back too.” Lalo laughed, patted you once more, and opened up some of the kitchen cabinets. He kept talking as he grabbed a frying pan and some mixing bowls. “Now that you’re up, I thought we could cook breakfast together. You down?”

“Yeah! Sure. I’d like that. I’m hungry.”

“Figured you would be. I gave you quite the workout last night, huh?” Lalo winked at you over his shoulder as he started to position everything on the counter. When he turned his back to you, you couldn’t help but ogle his ass in those insultingly tight jeans he always wore. “Can you do me a favor, actually? Can you grab the eggs and chorizo from the fridge? Should be on the second shelf.”

His question took a second to finish buffering in your distracted mind. “Hm? Oh, yeah! I gotcha.”

You walked over to the fridge and opened the double doors. It was bigger than the fridge you’d had at your apartment in Albuquerque. A lot bigger. Your eyes scanned the fully stocked second shelf, searching for what you had been instructed to find.

Your back to him was the perfect opportunity to strike. Lalo snuck up behind you, snaked his arms under your armpits, and clipped the leash to your collar. Thank god you hadn’t grabbed the eggs yet, because he yanked the leash back and knocked you off your balance.

“¡Siéntate! (Sit!)”

You turned around and dropped to your knees, looking up at Lalo with a face of pure confusion, which he found incredibly amusing.

“What? What are you looking so surprised for?” He reached over you to shut the fridge. “On-call means on-call, puppy! That means if I need you, you gotta be ready for me, yeah? Any time, any place.”

Right. That was what you signed up for. You just went expecting it to be so… sudden. “Okay, yeah, sorry, I just thought that-“

“Ch.”

What? What the fuck did he just do? It was like he shushed you, but it was a ch rather than a sh. Sharper, and with a more distinct bite to it, like a threat. It shocked you into silence, which is exactly what he wanted.

“Good boy.” Lalo balled the slack of the leash in his fist and crouched down to your eye level. “Now, you gonna be quiet? You gonna be a good doggy and do what you’re told?”

Son of a bitch. You really were his dog. The puppytalk, the headpats, the commands, the microchip. His commitment to the bit was honestly impressive. You nodded, ready to listen.

Lalo smiled and tousled your hair, recreating the bedhead you’d so carefully combed away. You would have been annoyed if it didn’t come with some intoxicating praise. “Good boy! Such a good boy! Who’s a good boy? You are! Yes you are! You’re a good boy!”

His sweet words soothed your mind. You could feel your thoughts, reason, your very humanity melting away with each strand of your hair curled around his fingers, each repetition of “good boy” that left his lips and emigrated to your ears. Degrading? Yes, but that was part of the fun. It was nice to not have to think for yourself. You could just close your eyes, sit back, relax, and let yourself be spoiled. Lalo would take very good care of his dog.

Lalo could see the transformation, the shift from person to puppy at the very second you stopped thinking. Having you exactly how he wanted you, he smoothed your hair out to something almost as tidy as you’d had it before. “That’s it… Good boy… Good doggy…” To snap you out of your daze, he snapped his fingers in front of your face. “¡Ay! Mírame. Look at me, puppy.”

You did as you were told, gazing up at Lalo as he stood upright and let the chain leash jingle as the excess fell from his hand.

“Good boy.” Lalo held his hand out for you. “Shake. Dame la pata.”

Assuming a dog wouldn’t have the same dexterity for a handshake as a human would, you laid your limp-wristed hand in his, and let him grab it and shake it.

That was the right move. “Perfect! Good boy!” He let go of your hand and you placed it back on your thighs alongside the other. “Habla. Speak.”

You’d learned your lesson last night, and told him what he wanted to hear. “Woof woof!”

“Ha! Aw man, I never get tired of hearing that.” Lalo’s hand found its way to your hair again and he asked, “Good boy! You want a treat? You want a treat, boy?”

You weren’t entirely sure what a treat would be in this context, but you guessed it’d be something good. You nodded once more, accepting whatever blessing he would bestow upon you.

Lalo’s smile dropped, “I need to hear you, puppy. I need to hear you if you want your treat. C’mon,” and pulled the leash hard enough to gag you a little, “Speak!”

“Woof! Woof, woof!”

“Gooood boy.” Lalo purred and slipped the leash’s handle onto his wrist. Now having both hands free, he went to untie the apron and unfasten his belt. 

Should’ve seen that coming. You thought to yourself, though your self-contained sarcasm went out the window once his cock was out. You’d seen it a bunch by now, but it never failed to make you drool. You licked your lips in preparation. 

Lalo slooowly pumped himself in front of you, watching you squirm anxiously. His foreskin retracted and slid back so easily, and the overhead kitchen lights illuminated the single drop of precum leaking from his slit. It felt like ages before he finally said to you, “Come get your treat, doggy.”

And your mouth was on him in a flash, an instinctual response to a simple command. You were so well trained. Such a good dog. You reached up to squeeze his ass and push him further down your throat. Even with your mouth plugged with cock, you found yourself moaning in pleasure. 

Your voice vibrating his shaft inspired Lalo to speak up, through a deep, rich groan. “Ooh, yeah, that’s it… That’s a good puppy. I almost think you enjoy this more than I do!”

Possibly, but with how obnoxiously loud he was moaning, you thought it was pretty balanced. You pulled his cock out of your mouth to spit all over the tip and spread it down. Once you’d soaked his entire length, you lifted it up to slurp on his balls. 

 “Yeah, yeah, there you go… Good doggy. Good-“ Lalo went still and unnaturally stiff for a second. Then, he started laughing. Hard. 

You pulled back to check on him. “Uh… you good?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m good. Just…” Lalo braced himself against the fridge to catch his breath, “Just thought of something funny is all. Y’know… dog playing with a ball? Fetch, boy!”

As stupid as it was, you couldn’t help but laugh, too, though you only got 3 or 4 “ha”s out of your system before Lalo yanked the leash and impaled your mouth with his cock. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop.”

Lalo’s spontaneity was definitely something you’d have to get used to. His ability to make you laugh, drop your guard, and then sneak up on you meant that you could never truly relax around him. But hey, that’s what you’re getting paid for, right? Plus, it’s kind of a thrill to be taken by surprise. You continued to service him, wet and sloppy, spit seeping down your face, until another sound stalled the scene: your stomach growling. Loudly.

But Lalo didn’t mind. In fact, he thought it was cute. “Oh, pobrecito (poor thing), was that you? You’re hungry, huh, boy? Well the sooner you get me off, the sooner we can cook, okay? Here…” He held onto you tightly by your hair and began thrusting into your throat. “I’ll help you speed things up.”

You gripped his thighs to brace yourself, knowing exactly what he meant by that.

Lalo fucked your throat with reckless abandon, savoring all the obscene gawkgawkgawk type sounds it made. His breath shuddered as he neared his peak. “Ay, te pinche puto, oh… Oh, sí, como eso. Buen chico. Qué- ngh… Qué buen chico-oh, mierda, estoy… Estoy cerca… Voy a venir… Voy a venir en tu boca de puto… ¡Carajo! (Ay, you fucking slut, oh… Oh, yeah, like that. Good boy. What- ngh… What a good boy-oh, shit, I’m so… I’m so close… I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna cum in your whore mouth… Fuck!)”

And once more you were shoved all the way down. Your nose nestled into Lalo’s bush as he ejaculated down your throat. Without any options otherwise, you quickly swallowed it all. You didn’t get to taste his cum, but the feeling of his aching cock throbbing on your tongue was delicious in and of itself. 

When he was finally empty, Lalo sighed and pulled you off. You coughed as the oxygen rushed you, forcing down the last few drops of his cum. The both of you were disheveled, sweaty, flushed-face messes. What a way to start the day.

“There. Little snack to hold you over before we cook, right?” Lalo tucked himself back into place and unclipped the leash from your collar, signaling that your job was done. He gave you a warm smile and finger combed your hair back into place. “Good boy! Oh, that was good. C’mere. Lemme help you up.” He extended his hand for you to take, lifting you up onto two legs. You were a person once more. Now you could think rather than feel, and speak rather than bark. “You alright? You did great. As usual.”

You chuckled, the warm and fuzzy feeling of puppymode still lingering behind. You were in no rush to let it pass, anyway. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Thanks. Glad you liked it.”

“Good!” Lalo was back to his normal, energetic self. He grabbed his apron, clapped you on the shoulder, and said, “Now, go get me the eggs and chorizo.” 

And with that, he strutted back to the counter, business as usual.

You would definitely have to get used to his spontaneity.

…

Breakfast was delicious, so much so that you wondered why he bothered having Yolanda cook at all. Oh well, not your place to judge. His cooking was phenomenal, but maybe hers would have you exploring a different plane of consciousness. After breakfast, Lalo saw it fitting to give you a proper tour of the house.

“Okay, so, you’ve seen the living room, the kitchen, and the master bedroom. There’s a couple more bedrooms downstairs, at the other side of the house. One of them is Yolanda’s, and another is Cecilio’s. The rest are for guests. There’s 2 more bathrooms down that way, too.”

“Mm, okay, got it.” You nodded, making a mental map of where everyone was in the house, though you noticed a pretty substantial gap. “What about all the guards?”

“Oh, they kinda have their own base outside. Makes it easier for them cause they gotta wake each other up to switch shifts. I’ll show you in a bit.”

Honestly, for a cartel boss’s estate, you weren’t expecting it to feel so… homey. Your vision of a drug lord’s mansion was something akin to a fever dream that you’d have after bingewatching MTV Cribs. Everything either marble or gold-plated, 15 Lamborghinis in the garage, and a pet tiger that somehow has its own Lamborghini. But no, Lalo’s place was decorated like people actually lived here. Barring the concrete gate topped with barbed wire, it was like any other family hacienda. Though instead of multiple generations of one family, it was just Lalo and his staff: his cook, his gardener, his guards…

And of course, his dog.

You tried to ignore that nagging feeling under your bicep as Lalo walked you up to a bookshelf. “And so this, oh, you’re gonna love this, just watch.” 

One of the books caught your attention. It was bright red, and its spine said “Hiding in Plain Sight by S. P. Onaj”. How clever. Actually, it was clever, because he reached for a plain-looking blue book on the shelf below it. He pulled it back, and the bookshelf opened like a door, revealing a dimly lit staircase heading downward.

“By the way, pulling that red one sounds an alarm. Just in case any intruder thinks they’ve got me all figured out. Made it obvious on purpose.” Lalo winked at you. “So! Guess what’s down there.”

“Is it a sex dungeon?”

Lalo froze, his facial expression that of bewilderment. You’d got it in one. He didn’t know whether to be annoyed or impressed. “What gave it away?”

You shrugged. “I mean, you’re rich and kinky enough to hire a live-in sex puppy, I’m assuming you’d have your own dungeon. Plus, why else would you be showing it to me?”

“Fair point.” Lalo shook his head and chuckled. “Since you wanna be a smartass, though, I’m not taking you down there now.” He shut the bookshelf door, and the ominous staircase was gone, as if it was never there.

“Aw, boo.” You pouted. “Just cause I guessed it right, you’re not gonna show me?”

“No, I actually gotta run out in a little while, and I’m not gonna show you until I have enough time to give you an extensive tour.” Lalo smirked. “There’s a lot down there. Trust me, it’ll be worth the wait.” He leaned down and brushed your hair away from your ear, making sure his whispered words hit you dead-on. “There’s so many fun things I can do to you, puppy.”

Before you could even whine, grovel, bitch, or moan, Lalo slipped right past you and beckoned you forward. “Alright! Now, I’mma show you outside. C’mere, boy!”

What a fucking tease. You thought, rolling your eyes and following behind him. He held the backdoor open for you to step onto the patio, but before your other foot left the threshold, Lalo grabbed you.

“Hey! What the-”

You were stopped mid-sentence by the sound of jingling metal. 

The leash.

Lalo had clipped it to your collar again and led you onto the patio, like it was the most casual fucking thing in the world, and he didn’t just accost you into a near chokehold. No warning, no red flag, nothing. You didn’t even hear the damn leash before it was on you. You were stunned. “Were you just keeping that in your pocket this whole time?”

“Well, yeah. Where else would it be?” He stepped out in front of you and pulled the chain. “Sit. And don’t talk ‘til I say so.”

You let your snarky comments simmer on the backburner and did as you were told, dropping to your knees on the patio. You felt a slight tinge of embarrassment as you took in your surroundings: the golden midday sunlight, the warm air, the sounds of birds and a lawnmower running. Oh, god, is he gonna make you blow him out here? Out in the open? Well, you’d done worse. You’d even done worse with him, but the spontaneity was gonna stop your heart one day.

Lalo gave you more of those cloyingly sweet headpats. “Good boy. Good boy. There you go, that’s it. Just relax. Shh, shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Be a good puppy. Be a good puppy for Don Eduardo.”

You gradually synced to his rhythm. He’d ambush you with the leash, then coax you into pupspace with petting and praise. Once you were warmed up, you’d do whatever he wanted. It was easier to adjust the second time around.

And as predicted, your master gave you a firm pull of the leash and an even firmer command. “Cuatro patas. All fours, c’mon.”

You shuffled onto your hands and knees, waiting for your next order. But it didn’t come. Instead, Lalo just started walking, expecting you to follow suit. But you didn’t. You were mortified by what he was implying. 

When you didn’t move with him, he turned around and glared down at you. “What? I can’t take my dog for a walk?” Lalo clicked his tongue and yanked the leash. “Come.”

What was usually your favorite command to hear was now suddenly your least favorite. Lalo was going to have you crawl on your hands and knees, through the grass and dirt, in broad daylight for anyone to see. You kept your head down, staring at the blades of grass that stained your palms and knees green. You weren’t listening to Lalo’s tour.

Knowing damn well he was talking to himself, Lalo still pointed out every landmark that you passed, the first one being right ahead of you. “Pool’s right here. It’s heated, just in case you were wondering. And at night, the lights change color. It’s really pretty. Been thinking about getting a bar out here, too.”

As you approached the perimeter of the pool, the cool grass turned to burning tile. You winced and hissed in pain as your bare palms touched the hot surface. “Ah! Shit…”

To your surprise, Lalo actually showed some concern for your situation. “Too hot?”

You grit your teeth and grimaced, still not looking up at him. “Mhm…”

“Here, c’mon, stand up,” He tugged the leash up, “Two legs.”

You hopped up onto your feet, grateful that you were allowed to keep your skin from melting off your hands. You went to brush yourself off, but Lalo grabbed your wrists.

“Let me see.” He checked your palms for any injuries, and finding that you were alright, released you. “Okay, good. Vamos (Let’s go).”

You walked like a person past the edge of the pool, yet once you stepped onto softer ground, you felt a pull of the leash.

“Cuatro patas (All fours).”

And you were back to walking like a dog, hanging your head in shame as you were paraded around the ranch. 

Lalo kept blabbing about whatever building you passed by, his garage, the guards’ house, the shed. You still weren’t listening. You barely even looked up. You were more intently focused on how the beads of sweat dripped off your face and onto the grass below you. And even though the sun wasn’t directly shining down on them, your cheeks had never felt hotter. This was a level of degradation that you did not expect to come with this job. What was he even getting out of this anyway? Did he like showing you off? Having you jump through hoops? Making you whore yourself out to him and debase yourself for his amusement? Was this even getting him off, or was it just for shits and giggles? And why so heavy on the dog motif? And why was there a fucking microchip in your arm?!

Your mind kept repeating one phrase, one sacred mantra that pushed the bad thoughts away and helped you keep going, one paw after another: $10,000 a week. $10,000 a week. $10,000 a week. 

As you kept internally chanting your mantra, a loud voice derailed your train of thought, and to your shock and horror, it wasn’t Lalo’s.

“¡Patrón! (Boss!)”

Your neck snapped up, shifting your gaze from the ground to the gardener, Cecilio. You hadn’t exchanged more than a wave when you met, and now here you were, being walked on all fours in front of this nice old man. You had never felt so thoroughly humiliated. All you wanted to do was dig yourself a nice little hole to die in, but that’d just make his job harder. It’d be rude of you to mess up his meticulous groundskeeping. Maybe if you asked him nicely, he’d simply bludgeon you to death with a shovel instead.

Lalo waved at him and shouted back. “¡Cecilio! ¿Qué tal? (What’s up?)” He dragged you behind him as he approached his landscaper. “Un buen día para dar una vueltecita, ¿verdad? (Nice day for a little walk, right?)” He knelt down on the grass and ruffled your hair with the same informality as petting an actual dog, one that didn’t understand the abstract concept of embarrassment. “¿Necesitas algo? (Need something?)”

Much to your surprise and relief, Cecilio didn’t seem at all fazed by the spectacle in front of him. He didn’t even acknowledge you. “Sólo tengo una preguntita. ¿Usted quería los arbustos altos como estos o más bien como los en frente? (I just have a quick question. Did you want the bushes tall like this or more like the ones out front?)” He asked, gesturing to a tall shrub that had a stepladder beside it. 

Lalo hummed and scratched behind your ears as he thought about it. “Hmm… Pienso que como ellos están ahora está bien. Déjalos altos. (Hmm… I think how they are now is fine. Leave them tall.)” 

You couldn’t understand much of the conservation; it had gone by too quickly for you to translate. What you could understand was how nice his hands felt, how they scratched every itch you didn’t even know you had. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Now knowing that Cecilio didn’t care, you were able to relax. You sighed and leaned into Lalo’s patronizing touch.

“Pero… ¿qué piensas, perrito? (But… what do you think, doggy?)” He yanked the chain leash hard to get your attention. “¡Habla! (Speak!)”

And your base instincts reacted quicker than your brain. He’d trained you well. “Woof!” you barked. Upon realizing what you just did, you blushed and pressed your face into him, attempting to hide from Cecilio.

“Oh, good boy. That’s my good boy.” He kissed your forehead before he stood up, and tugged the leash to get you on all fours again.”Come on, puppy. Let’s get you back inside.” And as he walked you toward the house, he called out behind him. “¡Bien hecho, Cecilio! ¡Sigue así! (Good job, Cecilio! Keep it up!)” 

Cecilio called back, “¡Sí, señor! ¡Gracias! (Yes, sir! Thank you!)”

Lalo took you back to the house, again letting you walk on two legs past the pool. You started to crouch down once you made it onto the grass, but he stopped you.

“Nah, that’s okay. You’re done for now.” He unclipped the leash from your collar and stuffed it back in his pocket. “How was that? You okay?”

“Yeah, uh… I’m fine.” You replied, brushing the grass off your knees and pondering what the fuck you just did. “Just, uh… Was that, like…” You didn’t even know where to begin, but your most pressing concern was the mental well-being of the innocent bystander. “That wasn’t weird for him, right?”

“What, Cecilio? Nah.” Lalo waved off your concerns. “He’s fine. Listen, everybody here just does their job and minds their own business. No one’s gonna say anything about you doing yours. And if they do, you tell me. Okay?” 

That was actually reassuring. After all, it was just a job. You were just doing what you get paid for, same as everyone else. “Okay.”

“Good!” Lalo smiled, “So, I gotta run out for a while. Gotta handle some business stuff with a few of my guys. You remember Tuco?”

Thinking back to that one time he broke a dude’s nose in the prison cafeteria for spilling a soda on him, you answered, “How could I forget?” 

“Yeah, so it’s gonna be him and his buddy Ignacio. He’s cool. I’ll have to introduce you sometime.” Lalo went to grab his going out essentials that he left on the counter: his phone, his wallet, his keys, and a 9mm handgun. “You’ll probably be asleep by the time I get back, but if you’re not, I’ll be outside on the patio. Just in case you get lonely. Oh, and feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen.” Having everything he needed, he gave you a tight hug and a smooch goodbye on your forehead. “Be a good puppy while I’m gone, okay?”

You giggled playfully. “I will. See ya!”

…

The rest of your day was uneventful without Lalo around. You wandered around the house looking for ways to keep yourself entertained. Part of you thought about sneaking down into the alleged sex dungeon he had, but you decided against it. You didn’t want to 1.) spoil the surprise, and 2.) trip any unexpected alarms or booby traps without him to guide you through them. Instead, you went for a dip in his pool, made yourself something to eat, and took a shower before bed.

During your shower, you dragged the soap across the underside of your bruised arm, wincing when you felt the skin roll over the microchip like how a tire does to a speed bump. There was definitely something under there. There had to be. You could feel it. It was a tiny stick, about an inch long. You could even jostle it around with your fingers. No bruise or vaccination moved like that. And it all made sense, too. Why else would the doctor have to numb you? Why else would he make sure you had your eyes closed when he stuck you? “This is how we do it in Mexico.” Bullshit.

Unfortunately, Lalo did not have any medical books in his possession, nothing that would reveal his tricks. So, all you had to go on was the injection site. All you could do is poke and prod at it helplessly as you laid in his bed, wide awake.

At least the bed was comfortable.

If you had to be kept prisoner somewhere, this was definitely a step up from MDC Albuquerque.

That’s what he was doing, right? Keeping you prisoner. Why microchip you if not? You could rationalize that this was a job; you’d be free to quit any time you want. But that was wishful thinking. As if you’d ever be allowed back to civilian life knowing what you know. Putting in your 2 weeks notice would probably result in Lalo calling in the doctor to put you down. That’s what happens when dogs bite.

No. No. Stop thinking like that. Stop thinking in general. Just go to sleep! Just go to sleep. It’s not that difficult, right? You do it every night! Here, let’s count some sheep. Maybe that’ll do the trick. 

A sheep jumps over the fence. Baa! One. 

Another sheep jumps over the fence. Baa! Two. 

Another sheep jumps over the fence. There’s a microchip in your arm. 

“Goddamnit!” You grabbed one of the spare pillows by your head, screamed into it, and tossed it onto the floor. Having finished with your brief temper tantrum, you stared up at the ceiling, tense, wide-eyed, and fully cognizant. You sighed. You weren’t going to sleep anytime soon. 

Though you probably knew someone who was in the same boat. Someone who you knew would be good company. 

No. No, no, no. Do not go out to him. You cannot be dependent on him emotionally, too. Physically and financially is more than enough. You catch feelings, and that’s how Stockholm syndrome starts.

…

Then again, does anyone know when they have Stockholm syndrome? Is it like anxiety or depression, where you’re aware of your symptoms and yet they persist no matter how many times some asshole tells you to just try yoga? Or is it more like addiction, where you can rationalize anything to avoid facing the problem that you refuse to accept? 

…

Fuck it.

You tiptoed downstairs and out the back door, and sure enough, Lalo was outside on the patio, right where he said he’d be, sitting by the firepit. On the table next to him was a rolling tray, and on the tray you saw a jar, a lighter, and a hemp wrapper. Next to the rolling tray was an ashtray, a tiny golden tool that looked like a shovel for ants, and a baggie of white powder. In his hands, he was twisting a grinder. When he saw you out of the corner of his eye, he perked up. 

“Hey, puppy. What’re you doing up? You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just couldn’t sleep…” You rubbed your eyes and yawned. “Can I join you?”

Lalo’s smile radiated the same warmth as the fire pit. “I’d like that. Could probably use the company.” 

You approached the chair adjacent to him, when Lalo raised his hand to stop you. 

“No, no, no.” He slapped his thigh and wiggled his eyebrows. “Right here. Best place for a lapdog, right?”

Unable to argue with that airtight logic, you sat down on his lap and settled in. Lalo hooked his arms around you, kissed your temple, and said “See? You fit right in. Good boy.”

You hummed contentedly and leaned back against his chest as he continued to grind what you hoped was weed. You glanced over at the table and asked, “You rolling a blunt?”

“Yep. You want some? It’s indica. Helps me relax.”

“Sure, thanks.” You sat in silence for a moment until he reached towards the table. He took the jar and lighter off the tray and set them aside, next to the bag of what was probably cocaine. No harm in asking, right? He must have had it out for a reason. “So, uh… is that coke?”

“Yeah. I’m not letting you have any, though, so don’t ask. Especially if you’re trying to sleep. It’s the last thing you need.” Lalo’s voice was tender, but firm. You knew better than to question him on that. It seemed like a hard rule. 

“That’s fine. Wasn’t gonna anyway.” There was a drop in the conversation, until you thought of a way to pick it back up. “So, like… do you do it often?”

Lalo unscrewed the second chamber to the grinder and dumped the weed on the rolling tray. “I guess you could say I do it more than most people, but I don’t always use it to get high. Most of the time, I just do little bumps to keep me awake.”

Granted, you didn’t have any experience with actually trying coke, but you didn’t think you could do it so casually. You’d always thought of it as an extreme thing, something you do lines upon lines of and have either the best or worst night of your life. But no, Lalo was calm and collected, as usual. You never would have guessed if it wasn’t just chilling on the table next to you. Next to that weird little shovel. “What’s that for?”

“What, the spoon? Oh, it just measures a bump for you. Here, watch.” He set the grinder down and picked up the coke and the spoon. He cracked open the baggie and dug the spoon in, retrieving a tiny little pile of coke. “See? Just a little bit.” He brought it up to his nostril and sniffed up the powder. His face crinkled up, and then he exhaled. “And that’s it!” He closed the bag and set it and the spoon aside, sniffling up the trace amounts stuck inside his nose. “That’s all you need to keep you up.”

“Interesting…” You pondered, having gained a new perspective on cocaine. Still, that couldn’t be healthy, right? Why not just, y’know, go the fuck to sleep? “Why, uh… Why do you wanna stay awake?”

“Couple of reasons.” Lalo replied, leaning over you to roll the blunt. “First, sleeping is a waste of time. I got more important things I could be doing. You’re supposed to sleep, what, like 8 hours a day? That’s one third of your life you miss out on. ‘S too much.” His calloused fingers curled the hemp wrapper around the weed so dexterously, like a true professional. You’d expect nothing less from a cartel boss. He probably had decades of practice. “I’m lucky, though. I don’t really need much sleep. I’m good with just an hour or two.”

“Mm.” You concurred in as few words as possible. None, actually. You weren’t cosigning the delusional things he said, just acknowledging that you were listening.

“Second, sleeping means you’re vulnerable. That’s something my tío taught me. People can ambush you in your sleep, and you won’t see it coming. They got a head start if you’re knocked out. That’s why you wanna be up as much as possible. Don’t let them get you.”

The most normal advice to give your nephew. You didn’t want to think about what his childhood must have been like, growing up with lessons like that. You answered with a noncommittal “Ah, gotcha.”

Lalo licked the edge of the blunt to seal it, then flicked the lighter. He singed the tip and took a big puff, blowing out a pretty decent cloud. He sighed, then said, “Your turn,” and the blunt was passed to you.

“Thanks.” You graciously accepted the blunt and took one puff, then another, and passed it back to him. Having both hands free, you scratched your neck absentmindedly, just above your collar. 

You didn’t notice what you were doing, but Lalo did. After taking his hit, he set the blunt down on the ashtray. “Let me get that for you.” Before you could ask what he was getting for you, he unhooked your collar and set it on the table. It wasn’t asphyxiating you by any means, but the fresh air on your neck was a shock to your system. You’d forgotten you were wearing it. It just felt so natural.

“Wait, but… aren’t I supposed to keep it on?”

Lalo’s voice was rich and sweet, honey sticking to the sides of your brain. “I tell you when to have it on, I can tell you when to take it off, can’t I?” One of his hands caressed your bare neck, and you whimpered at the feeling of something besides leather. “And besides… not everything has to be about work, right?”

“Right, yeah… Thanks…”

“Of course. I care about you, y’know.” He picked up the blunt and brought it to your lips. “Take another hit for me.”

You wrapped your lips around the blunt and inhaled until Lalo pulled it away. You coughed, just a tiny bit, and he was there to pat you on the back.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay, puppy. You’re okay.” He cooed, gently stroking your hair. He then brought the blunt to his own lips, took a hit, and blew out the smoke. “Sooo, how was your first day? You like it here?”

The weed was starting to cloud your mind. It took you a moment to realize you were just asked a question. “Huh? Oh! Yeah! Yeah, it was…” Your mind stalled, trying to string some words together as you relaxed into his body. “Mmm, it was good…”

“Yeah?” Lalo chuckled. “I’m glad to hear that.” He reached over you to ash the blunt. “What was your favorite part?” He relit the blunt, took a quick puff, and passed the baton to you. 

You didn’t even have to think about your answer. It was instantaneous. “Blowing you in the kitchen, obviously.” You took your hit and handed it back to him. 

“Ah, yeah, I figured. I can tell you really put your heart and soul into it.” He tousled your hair for the 400th time today, and said “Such a good little slut.” He took a long drag and let the smoke drift lazily out of his mouth. “Did you like being walked?”

Looking back on it through hotboxed windows, you did enjoy the exhibition. How vulnerable and open you felt, How Lalo, no, your master Don Eduardo, clicked his tongue at you and told you to walk, and you crawled through dirt to please him. It was kinda hot in retrospect. “Yeah… Hm…” You tapped the unlit end of the blunt against your lips and thought it over, trying to do your duty as a sub and give feedback. “I think, like… I was a bit nervous at first, ‘cause I was worried about getting caught. But I mean, if Cecilio didn’t care, it’s not really a big deal, then, I guess.” You gave the blunt to your boss. 

He took a hit, and asked “Would you do it again?” 

You took your hit, “I think so.”

“Okay, good. Good to know.” Lalo put the blunt out in the tray and squeezed you tight against him. “You feel high yet? This is strong stuff, baby boy.” 

He was right. It was some strong stuff. A drug lord wouldn’t half ass his weed. None of that pussy bullshit from a medical dispensary that gives you the most limp-wristed handjob of a high so you can fall asleep without nightmares for once. This was a heavy, soul-crushing indica, the kind that has you couchlocked for hours and makes a Crunchwrap Supreme taste like the pinnacle of humanity’s achievements. Taking the time to pause between hits meant that you could actually feel yourself getting high, as if the weed was somehow catching up to you. As if for the past 5 minutes, you two had just been pumping a balloon full of helium, and now you could watch it fly away. Half the blunt was left, but your brain cells were already sizzling away one by one. His big, strong hands rubbed your shoulders, jiggling your limp body around.

And his pinky finger nudged your microchip bruise. 

You locked up. Going from warm and fuzzy to tense and cold at the drop of a hat. You had no words you could use. You were an animal, reduced to base instinct. Panic. Panic. Panic. 

Lalo could feel it. “Hey. You okay?”

Now having been asked another question, you switched from animal instinct to robot programming. What just happened? What did you feel just now? How do we approach this question? You came up with this as a plausible response: “Did you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

Feel what? What did he feel? What was it that triggered your rigid demeanor? You stared off into the distance, dissociating into the program, and lifted your arm. “There’s a stick in my arm.”

“A stick?” 

His tone was unclockable. 

No need to panic. Just tell him what happened. “There’s a stick. In my arm. I just felt you move it.”

“What… right here?” His thumb tapped the bruise dead-on. Bullseye. 

“Yes. Right there. I can feel it moving. Push down on it.”

Lalo did as you requested, digging his thumb into your inflamed skin. He nudged it back and forth, jostling the microchip around. 

“There.” You said, no humanity or warmth to your tone. Purely indicative facts. “It’s moving.” And a simple question. “Do you feel that?”

Lalo pulled his thumb away and sighed. “Honey, I don’t feel anything moving. It just feels like a normal bruise to me.” He hugged you close and gave you a tender kiss, just above your ear. “Maybe… Maybe just give it a few days for the swelling to go down? If it’s still bothering you in a few days, we can call Dr. Cruz to look at it.” He caressed your shoulder. “You’ll be okay. I wouldn’t worry about it, baby…”

“Okay…” You sighed. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was just swelling. Maybe it was just a normal tetanus shot. Maybe the stick you thought you felt was just your latent regret manifesting into somatic delusions. Maybe your body was trying to trick you. Maybe it couldn’t accept how lucky you were, and it was trying to give you a reason to doubt this whole arrangement. 

Or, maybe there really was a microchip in your arm. 

You tried not to think about it. You didn’t have to try very hard. The weed made it easy to forget.

And besides, Lalo’s touch was giving you plenty to focus on. 

“You smell so nice, puppy…” He dotted kisses along your now accessible neck. “I was hoping you’d come out here… Share this blunt with me…” He snuck his hands up your shirt and pinched your nipples. “It’s such a great body high, isn’t it?” 

“Yeahhh…” You mewed softly as he rolled the sensitive buds between his fingers.

“You want more?”

“Mhm…” 

“More what?” Another kiss was planted on your neck. “More of the blunt, or more of me?”

“...B-Both.”

“Both? Aww, haha… So needy…” Lalo slid one of his hands out of your shirt to grab the blunt and the lighter for you. When he gave them to you, he said, “My kinda man…” 

Your clumsy fingers fiddled with the lighter, taking a few tries to get a good burn going. When you had it, you inhaled it, and Lalo started sucking marks into your neck. You choked on a moan and coughed out smoke. “Ahck! *cough* *cough* Oh… oh, fuuuck…”

“You’re okay, puppy. You’re okay.” He took the blunt from you. You whined, but he shut that down quickly. “No, no. You can have it back in a second. Take your clothes off first.”

You panted and nodded, trying to translate his direction into action. “Ah… Okay… okay…” He helped you tug your shirt off over your head and toss it aside. Now, you just had your pajama shorts.

“Can you stand up?”

“I… I think so… Lemme…”

Considering that you stumbled the second your feet touched the patio tile, no you could not. Thankfully, Lalo was there to catch you.

“I gotcha, I gotcha.” He held you up by your waist and slid your shorts down to your ankles, and you stepped out of them with his guidance. “Good boy.” He kissed you again on your temple as he undid his belt. “You wanna ride me?”

And here you were again, a warm, fuzzy, happy, high, dumb little puppy. No need for thoughts. No need for words. Just instinct. Just do what you feel. And right now, you felt like that was the best fucking idea anyone had ever come up with. Your stupid little doggybrain responded with “Uh huh…”

“Good boy…” You heard the telltale sound of denim bunching up as Lalo tugged his jeans down below his cock. He quickly stroked himself up with one hand, keeping you steady with the other. “I’m gonna sit down. Then you get on my lap with your back to me, just like before, okay?”

“Okayyy…”

Lalo took his seat and spread his legs. “That’s a good doggy.”

Without looking behind you, you backed yourself up into his lap, holding your lips open to find him. Eventually, his tip poked your hole. Jackpot. And with that, you sunk down, letting him fill you to the brim. “Ohhh, oh my gahh-ah!” 

He held you in place, shushing you and talking you through it. “Shh, shh shh shh, take it. Take it. Take it.”

And you did, you took it so well. He bottomed out, and you babbled, “Mmmm, iss so deeeep…” 

“I know, right? You’re so tight, baby boy. You always are.” He grabbed the blunt, lit it, and hit it as you purred nonsensically, squeaking when his cock would throb and send a pulse through your whole body.

“Mmm… ah! Ngh…”

“Take your time, puppy. I’ll follow your lead.” He put the blunt between your fingers and kissed your hand. “You’re in control.”

What? You’re in control? Since when? Wasn’t the whole point of this arrangement that you were not in control? Oh well, you weren’t one to squander an opportunity like this. You took a puff for courage and held it between your teeth. With all the strength you could muster, you gripped the sides of the lounge chair, hoisted yourself up, and then slammed back down. You did it again, and again, establishing a rough, relentless pace. You were gonna take him for a ride.

And although you were in control this time, you were still the whiny little bitch you always were, especially when Lalo grabbed your hips and began guiding your movements. You took the blunt out of your mouth to let your moans . “Mm! Ah! Ah, gah! Oh my g-god! F-Fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me-e-e!”

Lalo growled some words of encouragement. “Goooood boy. Oh, you’re doing so good. C’mon. Just like that.”

Having a flashback to the night before, you remembered what you were supposed to call him at times like this: his title.“Ohhh, Don Eduardooo-oh!”

“No, no. Just Lalo. Just Lalo. You’re not-ngh…” He grunted. “You’re not working, baby. Just call me Lalo.”

You were grateful for that. It was certainly easier to say over and over again. It rolled off your tongue so nicely, though the rest of your words were starting to slur. “Lalo! Lalo! Lalo! Ohhh, fuuuck, La-lo… I’m… I’m’onna cuuum… I’m’onna cum, Lalooo…”

Lalo nuzzled his face into your neck, humming and kissing your bare skin as he pleased. “Mmmm, that’s okay, puppy. Go ahead. You can cum.”

Now more motivated and more riled up than you had ever been before, you frantically bounced on his cock, determined to find and feel your release.

“Yesyesyesyes, fuck! Fuck!!!”

You squirted hard enough to push him out of you, completely drenching both your laps and even seeping through the lounge chair. A noticeable puddle had formed on the tile below you, but neither of you cared. 

Well, neither of you cared about that, at least. Lalo had other concerns. “Aww, you kickin’ me out, baby?” He asked teasingly as he lined his cock up with your unacceptably empty cunt. “That’s not nice.”

You started to apologize, but the words got caught in your throat as he sunk you back down onto his shaft. “I’m s-sorry… I’m so-ohhh, fuuuu-ah, y-yesss…”

“Shh, sh, sh, don’t worry. Oh, there we go...” He grabbed your hips and stroked his cock with your person, now chasing his own climax. “You’re being so good for me, baby…”

“Mmm, thank youuu…” You whined. 

“I’m-mm, I’m getting close, baby boy. Hah… ah… You want it inside? All nice and warm for you, yeah? You want me to fill you up?”

“Y-Yeeeah, f-fucking fill me uuup… fuuuck…”

“Okay, baby. I got you. I’ll fill you up.” Digging his nails into your handlebar hips, Lalo huffed and gasped as he thrust up into you. His balls slapped against your t-dick, making you scream as his hips moved faster, rougher, meaner, until they went still. He let out a primal groan and slid his arms up to your chest, pressing your body to his as he unloaded inside, rambling some sweet nonsense in his native tongue. “Mmm, buen chico… Qué buen chico… Mi chiquito lindooo… (Mmm, good boy... What a good boy… My little boy’s so cuuute…)”

It was serene. Peaceful. The most gorgeous night one could ask for. The fire pit was crackling. The crickets were chirping. The cum inside you was warm and fulfilling. It was honestly breathtaking. Sure, some strong weed and an even stronger orgasm could make any night seem beautiful, but no matter. It was beautiful nonetheless. A perfect end to your first full day. And if every day were to end like this, you’d be more than happy to keep them coming.

You both panted heavily as you gazed up at the stars in reverie, high out of your minds. It felt like eons before one of you broke the silence, and it wasn’t you.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

[chasing-posts]

I think Kitty was telling the truth when she said she never showed up to the wedding. And I have a couple of reasons why: (warning, its long)

1.) Her entire character arc is learning to trust. This includes opening up and being honest about herself and in this case: her past. So it makes no sense for the story if she just LIES about Santa Coloma, especially after making a big deal over it. If anything it would take away from the scene and her character when she finally open up.

2.) I think the only way they could have saved the relationship between Puss and Kitty naturally, after Puss left her at the altar. I kept thinking "how can they possibly save this relationship after what he did" and the answer the movie came up with was HILARIOUS! Her not showing up was the perfect answer to that conundrum.

3.) I think she was more mad she was proven right, than she was about him leaving her. That he did pick himself and his reputation over her. And he was so full of himself that he never checked on her after leaving. And she knows he didn't check up on her based on his reaction and the fact he never brought up her leaving. She's not like Puss, she knows about his adventures and what he's been up to. Thanks to his status as a legend, she knows about ALL of his adventures. But he doesn't know about hers, and didn't bother to find and confront her. That's how she knows he didn't know her side.

4.) Her being mad at him, was because she thinks he betrayed her intentionally and maliciously. She may know that he didn't show up, and based on his reaction, does not know about her doing the same. But it's not until his breakdown, where she listens to Perrito and him talk, that she finally understands WHY he did it. And how much it hurt him to do so. That he is legit ashamed of himself. Before that moment, she was sure he was out to betray her, like everyone in her life. But after she hears the real reason, she stops treating him so harshly. She opens the dialogue/ gave Puss the opportunity to talk about it with her. You can bet that she was the one that got them so high in the trees. After all she has no claws to climb, and yet she was so far in front of him, as if leading him up to a place he would have naturally been given him an advantage... But she's trusting him. Its Kitty who opens up the conversation with the "if you wanted to hold my hand/ I remember the last time you did this you had cold feet " dialogue. And when he takes her up on it, and nervously tells her what/ why he did it, and how it is EXACTLY like he told Perrito, she rewards him by finally coming clean about what she did. Why she left him too. And finally tells him the whole truth on the matter.

You can also tell that that's the moment she truly starts to fall in love with him again. "You don't seem like that guy anymore." Is a statement that has so many layers to it, but the biggest implication is that this version of Puss, is the one she is starting to trust.

The shaving scene may have set the mood earlier on the movie, but this open and honest conversation, is what made her swoon and start to believe in him.

5.)I think it sets up a good story/ contrast to who they were at the beginning, and who they are now. And by beginning, I mean them at the end of Puss and Boots 1. In that movie they're flirting, equals, in love... but their relationship is also unstable. She ended that film stealing from him and running off. And in the Shrek franchise, its shown Puss is quite the flirt with the ladies, imlplying they're not together. This Santa Colona flashback fills in the blanks for what happened between the movies, and also shows that when they first met, they may have been too young for each other. Too inexperienced. Not old enough to want to actually settle down, on both ends! If I were to hazard a guess, I'd bet that Puss proposed spontaneously, and she accepted in a moment of excitement, but leading up to the ceremony they both got more and more nervous until eventually, they both got cold feet and dipped, but for different reasons. He was too obsessed with himself and worried about his legend, and she was too flighty and could not trust him. Which ended their relationship (this is mostly HC though. Just speculation on my end.) But now they're both a lot older. They've lived a few lives, though we don't have a concrete number, there's clearly been many years between now and Shrek 4. And Puss in Boots 1 was a prequel to the Shrek series so, yeah, they are both MUCH older now and are both finally at a point where the two are ready to settle down and be together.

Who they are right now, is the best version of themselves. And in contrast to the last moment, instead of her running off with his boots, they are sailing away together, with him in her arms.

I understand the appeal of saying she lied... but I LOVE the implications of what it means for her to be truthful.

They are currently my FAVORITE couple is Shrek franchise. Softboots is perfect! And it's their open honesty and trust in one another, that makes it so.❤

[confused-bi-queer]

ofrendas del día de muertos

Chapter 1/2 | Rated: Teens and Up | Words: 4.2k +

Summary: Baz and Simon love Mexico, therefore Mexican culture. This year, they wanted to explore more of their traditions, and they decided The Day of the Dead, el Día de Muertos, was a good idea. Now they have to do more than eat pumpkin candy and pan de muerto. They have to mourn their deceased. As the tradition expects.

Chapter 1: mi perrito de la infancia (Baz's childhood dog)

BAZ

When Daphne came to live with us, she brought her dog. I was exhilarated. I remember how he wiggled his tail, whipping the air around him, and how he jumped me when he found me. I was small enough to be slammed into. I was scared at first but when he started lapping my face, all I could do was laugh and play with him.

READ ON AO3

[kookies2000]

Am I really about to do a full analysis of The Last Wish? Yes, yes I am. Starting with characters!!! One by one!!!

Perrito

Spoilers

One thing about Perrito is that he is so darn pure and tragic. When the trailers came out, I noticed people were sceptical about Perrito. Saying how he might be annoying and take away from the film. People even compared him to Olaf from Frozen. Which was a shock to me. I thought people loved Olaf from Frozen but I guess I was wrong. After a day of thinking on this, I finally understood why people thought this. Side characters that are usually used as the comedic relief can sometimes flop. They can be annoying and take away precious screen time from characters that the audience wants to see. But with Perrito, that is never the case. He doesn't waste a single screen time. In fact you end up wanting more from him. He's just so darn positive and sweet even after what he went through. He was thrown away by his owners for being the runt of the litter. But he was so positive that he thought they were playing tag. So every time they tried to throw him away, he would end up returning like it was all a game. And then one day, his owners drown him in a sock. And it's just sweet to see Perrito so positive about this. The sock they try to drown him in, he turns it into something happy and keeps it as a sweater. I guess it's his positive view that makes him so likeable. He leaves a positive impression on Kitty when she has a talk with him about trust. What I love about their talk is that Kitty doesn't push Perrito to not trust anyone and Perrito doesn't push Kitty to trust him or Puss. Just that she has to trust someone. The conversation just feels very natural and healthy. Now let me talk about how his childlike view doesn't clash with the dark themes of the film.

Olaf and Perrito comparison

I'm not bashing Olaf, I'm using him as an example. If I see a single bad comment about Olaf, I will hunt you down for insulting him and writing a strongly worded letter!

I adore the first Frozen film. It was wholesome, cute, magical, and just phenomenal. And Olaf as a character blended in perfectly with the environment that was created. The film was near to perfect and every character shined. But then Frozen 2 came in. Frozen 2 had darker elements that were fantastic. I loved the concept and the way the story was told. I do have a few issues with it but this isn't about Frozen. This is about how Olaf's positivity clashed with the darker elements. Olaf is supposed to have a childlike view of life just like Perrito. The two characters are put into similar situations. Innocent, naive, and trusting characters who are struggling to understand the more serious issues around them. The difference is, Olaf, clashed with the darker elements while Perrito helped embrace the darker elements. Olaf in the second film still has his innocence and childlike wonder. He goes to the library to read about life and soaks up knowledge like a child would. He even has a song about how everything will make sense when he's older. And that's a strong beginning to Olaf's character. It only starts falling apart when Olaf doesn't really learn about his surroundings. Does he understand that Elsa died? Or that his kingdom committed genocide? You can argue he's still a kid but he never shows his emotions or thoughts about the situation. Instead, he remains positive and tells jokes to cheer up Anna. It's cute but it feels pointless. I still love Olaf as a character, I just wish they would let him take time to process what was happening around him.

As for Perrito, he helps embrace the darker elements instead of just being positive all the time. His positivity influences both Kitty and Puss. For Kitty because of his conversation with her. Seeing things in a positive way isn't bad at all and we could all use a friend or someone to trust. For Puss, it's the panic attack scene. Puss is in a very vulnerable state and Perrito follows him. The moment is very tender and quiet. No dialog or humor, just the sound of the heart beating like crazy and hyperventilating. The moment is so darn sweet because Perrito doesn't talk or try to make Puss laugh, he's simply there for him. He places his head on Puss and that's enough to calm Puss down. And I feel like this is something many people forget easily. You don't need to talk, you don't need to say a word, you just need to be there. Listening and making sure the person who's venting knows your listing. This just reminded me of a personal experience of mine. A few years ago I was very vulnerable to panic attacks. All my friends did exactly this. They didn't try to throw in flowery words or jokes, they were simply there and made sure I knew they were listening. I only lost one friend, thank God because he was actually a jerk. And that "friend" tried using flowery language and false promises. Which only made things worse for himself and I. So yeah, the panic attack scene was very meaningful to me and made me cry. And this is what I mean by Perrito embracing the darker elements of the film. He doesn't fight off the heaviness of the moment. He doesn't try to bring light into the darkness. Instead, he goes into the darkness and lets everyone feel what they need to feel. He helps the emotions flow out properly. And I LOVE that!!!! Perrito isn't oblivious to what's going on, naive yes but not oblivious. He knew what to do when Puss had a panic attack. He knew how to talk to Kitty about her issues. He helped Puss and Kitty strengthen their relationship. And he helped Goldie find out what she wanted. Oh, and his moment with Goldie was adorable. You can tell from this moment that Perrito isn't dumb, he's positive. Baby insults him and instead of being upset, he joins in. He's aware he was insulted but he puts a positive spin on it. He's aware he's an orphan like Goldie and compliments her family. This makes you wonder, is he aware that he's an attempted murder victim? And he chooses to remain positive?

I'll talk about his final arc on the Wishing Star section. But man. I adore how well written he is.

Next is Kitty.

[specialinterestshows]

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🖤

Celebrate with this, the final chapter of my sexy and romantic Mommy!Rhea Ripley and Daddy!Damian Priest x transmasc!sub!reader fic, Que Llueva.

Thanks to @babybatlover for the request - it was fun to write! 😁

Warnings for this section: Dirty talk, Mommy/Daddy kink, praise, overstimulation, group sex, pet play

-

Que Llueva (Part 4 of 4): The Rain Has Gone

“Tu culo es mi favorito, hermoso,” Damian’s words made you tighten around him as he kept thrusting.

Coming down slowly from your last orgasm, you whimper in response.

“Everything still feeling good, pretty boy?” Rhea asks, pulling her hand away from your dick.

When you whine instead of answering, Damian stops as well.

“Mm, yes, Mommy,” you make yourself reply, quickly followed by, “More, please?”

Your girlfriend gives you a wide, mischievous grin that tells you she was hoping you might ask.

Faster than you can process, Rhea ducks her head down to the wet, throbbing mess between your legs and wraps her mouth around your dick, tongue flicking rapidly.

Damian takes your pleasured twitches and frantic moans as a cue to start fucking you again, still carefully holding your hips in place.

Rhea starts humming against you, the vibration resonating into your core as your boyfriend pushes in and out of you, growling and moaning in your ear as he slid the hand that gripped your hips across your body before it settled around your throat. Rhea pushed a hand down against your stomach in a way that made you tighten around Damian.

“Fuck!” you cry out the moment he tightens his grip, that last additional sensation sending you careening over the edge yet again.

Despite having lost control of yourself, the pressure on your stomach and neck keeps you more or less in place as you succumb to the overwhelming feeling of Damian fucking you hard enough to run your dick across Rhea’s tongue piercing over and over.

“It’s! So! Much!” you whimper as the sounds of your boyfriend’s pleasure start getting louder.

“You can take it, mi amor - I know you can,” he grunts, quickening his pace, “Prepárate, perrito.”

Being called “puppy” and knowing Damian was so close made you respond automatically in the way you had been trained to do in similar situations - letting out a small bark as you came, hard.

It was only a second before Damian came as well, filling you with a warm wetness as the vibration of Rhea’s low chuckle made your lingering orgasm tear through you a bit harder.

“Que bueno,” Damian praised you after riding out a few aftershocks, still deep inside you as he moved his hand away from your neck to give your ass a squeeze.

Rhea flicked her tongue against your dick one last time before pulling back, wiping off her glistening chin with her hand, and licking your cum off her fingers.

“Mommy’s favorite breakfast,” she said with a wink after noticing you watching her. You bite your lip as she saunters away to the bathroom.

“It’s… obscene how fucking good you feel,” Damian tells you, breath warming the already-steamy back of your neck, “Gonna pull out before I get too carried away.”

He waits for you to nod before doing so, letting out a low chuckle when you moan at the movement, kissing your shoulders gently.

The feeling of his cum dripping out of you slowly made you squirm, smile, and sigh with delight before looking up at the approaching footsteps.

“You two are quite a sight,” Rhea smirks.

She sits at the foot of the bed and you notice she’s holding two small, damp towels. One, she hands to Damian, but the other she uses on you herself.

The warmth was soothing as Rhea gently wiped you clean, muttering praise and rubbing your back.

“You did so good, baby,” she cooed, “How’s your leg?”

“Hmm? Oh. I forgot I had legs,” you admit, giggling and cumdrunk as you glance out the window, “Didn’t even notice the rain stop.”

Moving to collect Damian’s towel, Rhea grinned before offering a high-five - which he proudly accepted.

“You’re both dorks,” you laugh as your girlfriend lifts up the back of her shirt to shake her ass in your boyfriend’s face, sticking her tongue out at you.

Damian definitely didn’t seem to mind, watching Rhea disappear into the bathroom with the dirty towels before lying back down to cuddle with you.

“Necesitas algo más, guapo?” he asks, draping his arm around you and catching your lips with his before peppering more kisses down your neck.

“Just this,” you reply, smiling harder, “And Mommy, too.”

“You got it, baby,” Rhea - face freshly washed - jumped onto the bed, ass absorbing most of the blow before she fell onto her back, lying down the same way you were.

“I’m so lucky,” you sighed happily as Rhea put an arm around you as well.

“Funny,” she said, kissing your cheek, “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“We’re all lucky,” Damian concluded, “We found each other.”

[end part four of four]

-

Tag List (thank you!)

@babybatlover , @domripley , @falloutboy-lover

[piebymesstuff2]

Hi! if the request/ask is open, if so, could you do of tfa, bots and cons, with human (gn! or f!) s/o? Romantic/Platonic

This Human's a cinnamon roll, somewhat naive/innocent, (has the personality/backstory of Perrito from the Puss in Boots movie or Fluttershy from MLP). They're very motherly and being nurse/therapy-like friend and also a Pacifist yet can be passive-aggressive…

Of course!

Autobots

Optimus Prime

He’s a bit naive himself so it kinda goes hand in hand

Prime thinks your over-caring nature is sweet, even though he thinks you are overreacting.

Prime once heard you talking to Professor Sumdac about your past. He didn't mean to pry, but how could humans do such a thing?

And you still see good in humans; you're such a saint.

It isn't till later reality on world hits Prime that he wishes you weren’t so forgiving

Prime has also noticed your demeanor would change during different things

When he was training with you one time, you expressed a lot of anger in your punches, but when asked, you said it was nothing.

He wishes you could open up to him like everyone does to you.

When Prime comes back injured, you first check if he’s okay, asking all sorts of questions before reprimanding him for his recklessness.

He likes how much you care for them

Ratchet

Strongly dislikes your naivety

When he found out about your past, he couldn't believe you still thought your ‘family’ would come back. How sad.

But he does feel bad so hangs around you for a while

When you work with Ratchet, you always tell him he needs to take a break. Overworking himself isn't good, especially for old gears like him.

You two go back and forth before he finally agrees grumbling all the way to his chambers

When Ratchet comes back from his nap, you are smiling and happy to see him rested. He of course just grumbles but did enjoy the rest.

Bumblebee

You and Bee are great friends; you both like to get in trouble along with Sari.

During a mission, you told Bee about how your family left you at a store and never came back. He was horrified, and you were just joking about it.

He vowed to be the best s/o to you ever, and if anyone has something mean to say to you, they can speak to him.

Besides getting in trouble with Bee, you were always his and everyone else's therapy buddy, and as Bee’s significant other, he makes sure you're okay too.

The first time you showed Bee you could actually fight was when you were dealing with sludge monsters and you violently punched through one (of course it didn't do anything).

But he was so amazed by this side of you and thought it was hot to see you in action, so he decided to train with you to see you more often.

Prowl

He’s a pretty quiet an secretive person

But that's why you like hanging out with him; you don't have to worry about the team arguing or them just causing a ruckus.

Since Prowl likes to do his own this it's kinda hard to get to know him

So you decided to try and do the things he likes but you failed at meditation and balancing

One thing you do have in common is your love for nature when he caught you admiring the animals and plants he struck up a conversation

Since he’s usually the quiet one you're the one who would strike up a conversation and teach him many things about Earth

When balancing with Prowl you get upset when you can't stay upright for long

He reassured you that it was ok and you're still new which made you feel a bit better and you tried again

Bulkhead

Bulkhead the big teddy bear of the group

Also, the one to get himself stuck in sticky situations, and you're the one who gets him out.

With his artistic side, you often model for him while he’s not good practice makes perfect

When in battle you usually watch from afar but occasionally you keep an eye out for cons who try to jump him

When he heard about your family abandoning you he was heart broke he’s been cuddly for a while now

Often you would join in Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Sari’s shenanigans much to the other displease 

He’s surprisingly was a good cook despite breaking some eggs and utensils what a great cake you guys made

Sentinel Prime

A lot of people were surprised you two got together considering he’s a major ass

Of course, it wasn't easier it was more of an enemies-to-lover thing, and since he’s scared of organics it was hard to get close

The only reason you two got close was because you asked him to train you you told him you wanted to help fight against the Cons

He laughed hysterically but decided to humor you

Training with him isn't easy since he likes to be a jerk which irritated you and you took it out on the poor Lil training dummy

While you and Sentinel still butt heads even together he’s not that bad to hang out with if you don't boost his ego much

Decepticons

Megatron

Didn't care for you you were human what purpose could you serve

He did like how you were able to get into small parts and get items for them

And go undercover into human-sized places so he guesses you have some use

Gets annoyed with your overbearing mother nature he’s not dying so relax

Likes when you take your frustrations out wish you did more often it’s entertaining

While it seems like he doesn't like you, he wants you close to his side, in his words, to keep an eye on you.

You try to get him to open up to you but he saw it as you trying to get information on him and give it to the autobots so never again

Starscream

To get on his good side stroke his ego a bit he loves compliments

Doesn't find any use in you either but he’s happy to have a ‘follower’ anyway

When you two get together he tries to be discreet about the relationship he doesn't want anyone to know he has a soft spot for a human

Of course, he tries to get you to help him overthrow Megatron which doesn’t usually go as planned and you rather not get killed but you still help him in other ways

Likes when you get angry finds it amusing

Says he finds your motherly nature annoying but secretly he likes that someone cares

When he finds out about your past and some certain abandonment issues he says that you're going to stay with him forever because he needs a minion but really he just likes having you near

Is only clingy to you in private and it feels nice

BlitzWing

Very interesting relationship

Most of them think your innocence is cute

When they heard about your family abandoning you not exactly happy Hot-head wanted to find and beat them up Random kinda cried

When they get injured, they like that you worry over them, but they try to be more careful so you don’t fret too much over them. Well, maybe Random would try to at least get a scratch.

They like to do different activities with you. Icy likes to do little picnics and some baking. You do smash rooms with Hot-Head. He likes to see you take your frustrations out, and Random and you mostly go and terrorize the other bots. While you do get in trouble, it’s been fun.

Shockwave/Longarm

You first met Shockwave when you got captured by the Decepticons and put on the ship

At first, you didn't see him a lot since he was always doing some type of “agent work” and apparently he was also undercover

But when he was on the ship, you were required to be his partner and help him with anything he needed, much to his amusement.

While you couldn't help him with big things, you were a good talk buddy.

When he did come back injured, he would find it confusing as to why you would care or worry over a being like him, though he was happy about it.

He despises your innocence. He tries to open up your eyes to everything, of course, Starscream and Megatron, put an end to that because it's making manipulating you easier.

He likes it when you get mad; it's entertaining for him.

Swindle

Swindle mostly likely has an interest in you because you are rich, and while you may be human, you are his personal piggy bank for things he can't afford. what fun

With your naivety, it was easy to manipulate you. Swindle would pretend to be your friend, and whenever you refused to give him money, he would say something along the lines of, "Friends, help each other out. Come on, be a good friend, and help me out."

When Swindle gets caught for his illegal selling, you worry you can’t get updates on whether he’s dead or not, and if you ask around, you might be squished.

When he does come back, you give him this huge rant about being careful and stuff; it's just going in one ear and out the other.

When he learned of your backstory didn't exactly care much was sympathetic tho

He has learned to never make you mad. One time he did, and you cut him off from your supply of money. When he went to confront you about it, he couldn't find you, mostly because you kept avoiding him.

Above that he likes your company and thinks you are just adorable

Lockdown

You were just a trophy and someone valuable for whenever he got injured or wanted to fix up some weapons he salvaged.

Doesn’t care about your backstory I mean he’s glad you trust him enough to tell him but maybe a little sympathy

He likes your company sometimes when he gets bored and is happy when you want to listen to his tales about the different trophies he got.

You become Lockdown’s rant listening buddy. You tried to give him advice, but of course he doesn’t take it to heart, so you just listen instead.

Hates when you fret over him finds it a bit annoying but a little happy he doesn’t know why

I'm sorry this took so long. I have no motivation, but now that I'm writing, I tried my best, so enjoy.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! I read/saw one of your writings (Steeljaw and his pack reaction to Bot Buddy with the personality of Perrito from "Puss in Boots the Last Wish") and you did a good job and I love it!

If it's okay can you continue or do this same request with other Steeljaw's (previous) pack members, as well?

Also Thank you!!!

Let's see what other horrors Buddy will unleash on the unsuspecting Con's.

Steeljaw and pack reaction to Bot Buddy with the personality of Perrito from Puss in Boots the Last Wish (continuation)

SFW, platonic, Cybertron/ Bot reader

Scowl

Scowl stumbled quite literally on Buddy.

He was going to go to what seemed like an abandoned lot. He wacked a bin when he heard a yelp.

Surprised, Scowl went to the bin and saw a mini con pop out.

"Oh! Thanks for the help friend! I've been stuck there for a bit. Steeljaw wanted some more steel beams so I was trying to get some, but I got stuck! So, thank you again!"-- Buddy

"... Umm you're welcome?"--Scowl

He helped Buddy out a bit after seeing their pitiful attempts to drag any of the beams.

Scowl ended up bonding with Buddy while getting the materials for this Steeljaw guy.

That being said...

He gets attached really quickly.

Buddy is just so small and fragile looking. If he'd sneeze he was sure he would send Buddy flying back a couple yards. Scowl was bigger, stronger, and much bulkier than they were.

As much as he hated to say it... He has to remember how Grimlock handled smaller things.

He was not prepared for the untold backstory Buddy had to tell. He doesn't know what was worse. Hearing the story or hearing it in such a casual form.

"Wow! You're so strong Scowl! You remind me of one of my friends. He was so strong that he put a ton of scrap metal on me! I found a pretty slab of ions from that day!"--Buddy

"... You're friend... They tried to bury you?!?!"-- Scowl

"Yeah! But I'm telling you the slab was the prettiest thing!"--Buddy

Scowl has told Buddy if someone hurts them, to let him know so he can pay them a visit. That bot will be nothing but scrap metal when he's through.

Drag Strip

Drag Strip has had his fair share of peculiar friends.

Look at Wildbreak.

He met Buddy while trying to look for Wildbreak and the others. And he might have had another incident with ice again. Thank goodness it was just his pedes.

Bad news was it was his pedes. He couldn't exactly move well.

Enter: Buddy

"Hello! Wow you seem to be in a bit of a pickle!"--Buddy

"Yeah I know... Why don't you pass me that crowbar over there?"--Drag Strip

"Sure thing friend! Hey after this you want to go out for a drive? I know the best spots around here and the best shady parts too--"-- Buddy

"...what did I get myself into..."--Drag Strip

The next thing he knows Buddy becomes a third shadow. Second being Wildbreak. He is starting to think that he might attract weird bots.

Drag Strip is unnerved hearing some of Buddy's backstory. It's not something he expected.

You're so lucky you have friends that stay with you all the time Drag Strip."--Buddy

"I guess, but he can be such a pain in the afterburner,"-- Drag Strip

"Maybe, but I have to follow my friends everywhere. They usually end up running. They like playing tag a lot of the time."--Buddy

"They run from you?"-- Drag Strip

"Yeah, but I always find them eventually. Where are you going?"--Buddy

"I need to tell Wildbreak something."--Drag Strip

He is ready to throw down with anyone who decides to treat Buddy like a lesser bot. Drag Strip makes sure that Buddy is either with him or Wildbreak at all times.

Wildbreak

Wildbreak was looking for Drag Strip when he found Buddy.

They had gotten separated when the Autobots had ambushed them.

He ended up under an abandoned bridge when a storm came by. It had started thundering when he felt something touch his pedes.

"Excuse me? You're kind of crushing my tail."-- Buddy

"What? Oh! I'm sorry!"--Wildbreak

"It's okay! I don't like the storms either."--Buddy

"...It gets too loud..."--Wildbreak

"You can hold me if you want. I'm trained in the arts of therapy cuddling."--Buddy

"No I'm --"--Wildbreak

CRASH!

"... You sure you don't mind?"--Wildbreak

"Not at all. Just don't dent my armor too much."--Buddy

"Right, sorry."--Wildbreak

After that night, Wildbreak is now best friends with Buddy. Even after they find Drag Strip, Wildbreak doesn't leave Buddy alone. If he is going somewhere, Buddy is going with, and he doesn't mind at all.

His spark breaks when he hears some of Buddy's backstory. He could never imagine his friend in these scenarios.

"You have so many stories Wildbreak!"--Buddy

"Yeah it's been a crazy time. But bots like Drag Strip make things a bit better."--Wildbreak

"Oh! That reminds me a story! One time a had this friend who put me in a box and, and threw me off a bridge! It landed in the acid wastes, but I got out of there before it landed in the acid. I saw the prettiest sunset that day. And --Wildbreak are you crying?"--Buddy

Wildbreak full on sobbing holding Buddy close.

"...no ..."--Wildbreak

If anyone came near Buddy with intention to harm, it is on sight. Wildbreak is ready to drop kick anyone who comes near Buddy. No one is going to hurt them while he's around.

[strrymko]

Jack Horner headcanons I can’t get out of my head

Honestly I have been obsessed with Jack’s character since I saw Puss in Boots: The Last Wish for the second time. I really want to know more about his upbringing / experiences he had before becoming the head of his pie company. 

Also, I know that Jack relies heavily on his bakers/hireons to do most of the grunt work for him but in several instances he has shown brute strength, precision, flexibility, and wit to get what he wants without them. These are just a few ideas I have had in my head based on his abilities shown throughout the movie.

- Growing up, I assume Jack had lessons in archery / javelin throwing based on his skills with the crossbow and how he threw a spear at Puss and Kitty during the factory escape scene. The dude took time to focus on where he was going to hit before throwing. I really admired the attention to detail the animators / artists had when it came to Jack’s strength and skill.

- I think because Jack was so humiliated by fairytale characters for being a nursery rhyme, he asked his parents to put him in certain sports / self defense classes as back up to stay on top. If he’s denouncing “Little Jack” then he needs to keep up with the appearance of Big Jack. (He may be round in the middle but look at the size of his hands and broad shoulders? He definitely works on his muscles. haha)

- I know some people theorize Jack used magic to make himself appear taller, but I really think puberty hit him hard when he hit his teens, possibly even earlier than usual. It isn’t confirmed the two people standing next to Jack in his flashback are his parents, but I assume Jack is around 8 - 12 here and he appears taller than average for kids his age. 

- Going back to Jack’s upper body strength, I think it’s interesting how the designers for Jack kept his lower body disproportionate to his upper body. His thighs are still thick but below that his legs are rather skinny. I have this head canon that Jack regularly lifts heavy boxes / equipment in the factory because he’s aware his men are nowhere near as strong as him. (Explains the thick thighs and muscular arms.. hehe)

- It has been awhile since I have seen some of the Shrek movies, but I don’t remember any characters who had vibrant colored hair that wasn’t natural. I think Jack is a natural blonde but he dyes his hair lilac to keep up with the pie theme for his business. I also believe he requires his bakers to have some purple theme in their attire aside from their uniforms. Some had purple face paint and one baker even had their hair dyed purple. (And looking back, even one of the unicorns was purple?? I can’t believe I just noticed that! lol) 

- Another headcanon that is common within the Jack Horner community is Jack’s self awareness and the belief that he’s confident despite not being society’s definition of attractive. I really like this one because the only time we really see Jack’s insecurity is when one of the serpent sisters mock his nursery rhyme, back when he was little and dorky. He is referred to as “Big Jack Horner” and keeps up that appearance by killing the people who mock him. (Hence tricking the serpent sister in grabbing the Midas Touch.)

- I found it interesting that Jack didn’t just kill the Ethical Bug after finding out he was useless to him. This makes me believe Jack just kept him around to essentially fuck with him and make him think he could be changed. The smirk Jack made when Ethical Bug recited the symbolism of the phoenix before Jack used her to burn down all the flowers in his way / The next scene where Jack catches Perrito and threatens to shoot him with a unicorn horn w/o remorse / and finally when Jack dramatically expresses his life woes (being a privileged kid with loving parents, stability, and significant inheritance growing up) and then finally getting fed up hearing ethical bug try and change his heart after he let the remainder of his men fall to their deaths. I found this aspect of Jack hilarious only because he drug out the act for so long just to prove a point. 

- Last hc I’ll add on this post for now; I know a lot of people wanted to see what the map path would look like if Jack had his hands on it before reaching the wishing star. (me included) I think this was purposefully avoided because of how fucked up Jack is, and the path to the star would be even more difficult than Puss or Kitty’s paths. The star is clearly a sentient being and knows who has pure intentions, so if Jack obtained the map early on in the dark forest I think he would have figured out who to place the map with and just follow them to the star for the easiest route possible.

(also, this is more of a Goldi hc; but I think the star felt Goldi’s pain and only messed up the path to try and make her realize she had a perfect family all along. This scene made me realize why Jack probably wasn’t meant to hold the map at all within the forest because.. well he’s the most morally fucked up out of the three groups. haha)

I have a lot more hcs for Jack but I think this is enough for now. If y’all have any hcs you should add to this post or link them to me! I really love seeing everyone analyze Jack in their own ways. He’s such a cool character and I’m keeping my fingers crossed he appears in future Puss in Boots features.. hehe

I’m not the best writer so I hope all of this made sense! tysm for reading this far :)